#and i went on yt to see what people think abt it

[magical-regical]

Y'all the fuckin yt short abt the new 'Quality Time' feature has me on the ground. The background music I, I can't take it seriously oh my fucking god the comments saying they thought it was fan made are so real because sweet jesus look at him.

There is not a single thought in this man's head.

Also is it appropriate to slouch like that when ur doing cardio? I mean ik your legs are still moving but a part of me feels like u should try to keep ur back straight? Then again what do I know, I've lived on god's green earth for 20 years and only once have I been to a gym and all I did was walk on an inclined treadmill for half an hour.

My gym habits (or lack thereof) aside, good on them for making use of their character models and hey if that inspires you to actually work out more then all the power to you.

Judging from the trailer I think we're also getting new outfits for them so that's something to look forward to.

I know I'm focusing on the wrong thing but I did not know of the existence of compression shirts until I saw this man and went 'why tf is he wearing a rash guard at the gym' but apparently after a quick google search this thing is like, kinda fancy? Like it's form fitting right? So it's supposed to increase circulation so your muscles can get more oxygen and better absorb sweat. (I don't know, it still seems hella stuffy)

It's so weird imagining Zayne at the gym. I mean we all know this man is built like a semi truck but he's also a doctor?? Imagine going to the gym and you see the cardiac surgeon that operated on your grandma two days ago pumping iron. God bless the self esteem of the people who go to the same gym as him (or maybe Akso has a gym idk).

Um for a more normal point of focus, it probably won't happen but imagine if u can change which outfit they work out in. Change it to the towel ones and you can watch Zayne's back muscle movements as he does pull-ups.

[the-owl-tree]

I know it’s unpopular and ig would be seen as chronically online but. a little annoyed at the “UGH 🙄 and here come THOSE people” @ comments those being horrified abt Frostpaw being spayed and connecting it to real life events like bipoc being sterilized against their will. I personally am not one of those people, nor do I think it’s anywhere near that serious or on that level bc I thought it was an interesting turn in the books, but as a black afab myself who would most definitely face forced sterilization if I were not a more privileged individual, (because you know the health system itself loves to play around with our bodies like science experiments as though we cannot physically feel pain) I’m gonna need the yt warrior cats fans to cut it out w the snide superiority complex on “lesser takes” and understand there’s people who are gonna reasonably draw comparisons to these events and see how incredibly horrifying it is what the anthropomorphic cat just went through. not to hit a fucking beehive but why is it acceptable to understand the harmful impacts of misogyny in the series affect people in the real world but misoginoir is taking a step too far?

discourse on bumble being a domestic abuse victim has people understanding and drawing comparisons between that and real life events but we draw the line when woc are brought up. okay. why?

this isn’t at you btw because you generally have nuanced takes and take the time to consider what people are actually saying but like. what’s going on here I’m genuinely blindsided by people rolling their eyes. it is an issue. it’s a huge issue and it’s still happening in places! can’t speak for other countries but it’s still legal on a federal level in the U.S where I live and in my state. my problem isn’t the people drawing comparisons with Frostpaw. my problem is the reaction to that. I don’t understand why one systematic issue can be discussed and the other not without scrutiny and handled as though it’s not as serious topic.

also to note: I am aware that Frostpaw being spayed was not based on any perceived race or ethnicity. I am aware that this was simply for shock value (as of the moment, anyway ((which is what makes it worse imo but that’s another convo))) and I am aware that I cannot speak on behalf of anyone facing this issue but myself and cannot reasonably say that anyone drawing these conclusions will always 100% take the matter as seriously as needed. however I can say that it is a bit difficult for me to accept that in a world where each character has human intelligence, thoughts wishes and feelings, that the concept of forced sterilization, abhorrent and frightening outside of normal cat understanding, frankly should be handled with the utmost care able to be expended. I know it will not be. I am aware. the authors have a history of using their personal bias to push racist narratives before. I understand that people are saying handle the subject with tact and maturity. I just do not believe it is the right or position of a mostly white fanbase to police the discussion of what happens to women of color because we are often spoken over as is. I hope that I have made my point clear? I’m not the best at explaining myself over subjects I’m passionate about, so I may have tripped over my words a bit. I do apologize if it came off as talking in circles

I'll admit, when I first read the spoilers and learned what happened, I drew some connections but I also agree that it's not nearly on that level. But I think it would be wildly inappropriate if I tried to talk on that as a white person.

I don't have much to add, but I think you've raised some pretty understandable concerns and you're very clear in your points, I didn't have any trouble following you! I genuinely have a lot of concerns about the plotline and I think you're right that it's important to be open about these discussions.

[kimchicollardgreens]

even if there’s a solution to a “problem”, someone can still talk abt how they don’t like said problem… you know that right? it’s always “then ignore them” or write them yourself”… who says that ppl don’t do that already. it was one opinion. no one was demanding black writers to not write wtv they want, the person only shared their view and everyone went crazy… you legit wrote a think piece over this. There shouldn’t be fighting yeah, but maybe ppl should stop feeling butthurt over opinions. users make the most trivial things a bigger issue on tumblr, legit arguing with a minor lmao

i ask you to read all of this before sending another ask, its another “think piece” but its literally the answer to why what these woman are askin is lowkey problematic and i dont blame folks for not noticing dogwhistles. im also not say all “soft girls” are spouting this stuff. (hell im one of them). im also not calling these women evil, cuz they may not truly know what they saying is problematic as we live in a capitalist yt supremacist system. im more than happy to answer more. im not somebody that gon dismiss you if you wanna have discourse💖

but yes, you can talk about a problem when its in good faith as it actually cultivates productive insight. but bad faith arguments distract us from the real problems that both groups actually want to see fixed. however we need to acknowledge that most ADULTS who come with this “soft life fic” opinion be in bad faith.

bad faith is trying to get us to come back to things both parties already agree on. we all agree that soft fic aint seen much. what we are saying is why you keep coming in the dark/urban fic inbox stating it for people who have no problem with you? we’ve assessed the “problem” and we all agree it needs fixing. its like we running in circles, instead of different directions to fix other problems. the question is how are you going to contribute to fixing it in a healthy way and how do you want us to help.

im sure cherry and her friends would love to recommend a homegirls work so long as shes respectful. HELL I’LL EVEN DO IT!!!

tho i don’t recommend coming into blogs who are strictly dark and askin’ them for anything other than that. just like how soft writers don’t want to primarily write dark.

its not butthurt when you come on someone’s page calling them “ghetto” “baby mamas” then try and position it against “soft life” “divine feminine” “old money” aesthetics.

im not saying thats what this little girl did, but ive seen grown adult women do that. and thats nasty as hell to be positioning that.

the reason she probably caught flack is because she unfortunately used a simple question thats been hijacked and used by bad faith arguers when they come to urban fic accounts.

thats usually the question to get a leg in the door to start spouting off lowkey antiblack and classist shit.

and i dont know where soft being only afforded to the croquette looking girls came from. some of the softest girls i know are high fem baddies. so thats very weird, especially when you consider that black women make up majority of that aesthetic.

essentially its respectability politics and thats why its not trivial. to most, this looks like a minor creative liberties dispute, but the underlying theme is actually steeped in so much politics that affect black women for real.

i mean just look at the whole bonnet and pajama pants debate. or the straight hair or braids for your birthday/formal event debate. or the wigs vs natural hair debate. baby mama vs wifey debate (if you believe how a woman carries herself in a way thats nondestructive to others, is a reason as to why she doesn’t deserve respect; you not a feminist.)

its grown folks bratz vs barbie all over again.

not even gon hold you, i didn’t know that was a minor. just reblogged @chrollohearttags post on my dash. anybody doing anything other than telling that little girl to get off they page is a weirdo. but cherry made a general post thats been a topic of discussion AMONGST BLACK WOMEN since we’ve been writing stories. so ofc thats what my “think piece” is about. she may have commented one question but some iteration of that same question has been around for years. i’m responding to that.

since i now know this is a minor, they could have very well been wanting to know why there is a saturation of these fics on here. and i would have told her about the culture of urban fic being ONE of the first pioneers in Black Smut Fiction. it literally helped shape the black writing culture whether bad or good. then i wouldve told her that when she’s older she could contribute to said culture. but right now she should not be consuming any sexual media.

and to ask a question like that, its clear she has some gripes about the way general media treats black women; which those are well-founded. i understand hating the “ride or die”, or the “settling for less” when it comes to media for black women. but how can you read about a specific aesthetic or lifestyle and immediately know thats was going on?

these women used to have valid points and some still do but like this little girl, they cant tell the difference and if they can, they want any kind of reputation for “ghetto” girls out the window. there’s nothing wrong with being “ghetto” and nothing wrong with being a “the soft divine feminine” but we do need to talk about why the latter feels comfortable coming on someone like cherry’s page too disparage girls who aesthetics and social values don’t align with them.

writers like cherry aren’t advocating abuse, their characters are living they best lives. doing “ghetto” shit and truly loving the partners they’re with.

there are legit women out there who are “ghetto” that love they life. and are in healthy relationships. its vile to say that the way someone simply chooses to exist is a direct result of how black women face abuse, especially as something as silly as wigs, body con dresses and long nails. or even activities like twerking, having babies, doing drugs and partying.

its kinda like this whole Sukiana situation vs the Home Depot girl. Both were sexually harrassed but people tried to victim blame Suki more cuz of the way she dress and act. thats nasty. (plus there was no versus to begin with cuz neither one deserved it)

like there IS something to be said about how women who tend to write urban fic -at least in its early days- really do live the lives they are writing about. granted, looking back, some of these women were so unhealed that they ended up romanticizing abuse. but most girls now understand that you can live a hood lifestyle and not put up with bullshit.

somewhere along the way, the “city girl/ghetto/high fem” aesthetic got associated with abuse, crime, and poverty. which is crazy cuz girls who look like JT be havin’ money, a good life and still have plug/rapper boyfriends who not killing or getting them killed.

so if these women would be honest, its not about the way the “urban” girls look or behave. the real problem is the abuse that these women face.

which i see how thats a problem but abuse doesn’t correlate to aesthetics and its not a causation of abuse either.

soft girls can experience abuse. they experience financial, domestic abuse, sexual abuse. these women who hate urban fic, keep forgetting that the soft girl is modeled after the tradition yt housewife who faced abuse too. just cuz you get out the hood and get a financial stable man that isnt a plug or gangbanger dont mean he not gon beat yo ass or expect loyalty when he do some dubious shit.

yall ever seen the Stepford Wives?

now you can have the vintage look without the vintage values, but thats not what most of these women who come onto cherry page be talking like.

they disagree with any depiction of your so called city girl —whether good or bad.

it’s counterproductive to feminism. it quite literally antichoice feminism which is a huge problem with feminism today because it relies too much on this yt viewpoint of responsibility politics. i suggest people really read “Hood Feminism” by Mikki Kendall.

anyway thats whats been making people like cherry become upset and rather than having patience, they ain’t got no more to give cuz they keep having to defend themselves and explain why talking like this is a microaggression. they exhausted.

anyway im free to talk more, if i didnt explain good.

[ssseriema]

Righty so ive been seeing your lifesteal art for a while and I made the decision at the immaculate hour of 12:14 at night to watch it, but I’ve got no clue how to start. Do you have any recommendations of who to watch/where to start/where to watch it etc. and also what it’s about, that would be swell too.

thanks! :]

IM LATE ANON SORRY ABT THAT uhmmmmm. so the lifesteal smp is a server where if you die you loose a permanent heart off your health bar and if you kill someone you gain a heart (hence the stealing part). think, life series if seasons went on for months. alliances are made, broken, treasured, people are killed. all the good stuff.

starting lifesteal smp can be a little overwhelming because theres so many people but you just gotta choose a pov and run with it. also keep in mind that it doesnt have life series/hermitcraft style of progression as the episodes are more like highlights of what happens in the server. i would recommend starting with the season 3 videos since imo its the easiest season to start with. my personal pov recommendations are here

princezam: hes silly reddoons: hes awesome rekrap: hes also awesome vitalasy: hes also silly clownpierce: hes a clown who can kill people

sometimes content creators wont have their videos organized, but theres playlists out there that compile videos from each season

most livestreams post season 3 are archived too in case you eventually wanna watch those, because sometimes theres lore sprinkled in there(very time consuming though). season 5 started a bit ago and most members to my knowledge are finished with their season 4 videos, so you can also start with those too if you want. season 2 is also good (i started there!!)

also just a side note but members put so much effort into yt vids and thats why sometimes theyll take a while to come out. editing in some of these videos go SOOOO HARD OHHHGH MY GODDD(thinking roshambogames)

lifesteal smp comes FREE with EVERY DISEASE!!!!

I HOPE THIS WAS SOMEWHAT HELPFUL:D SORRY FOR LONG POST

[sh1-n0bu]

MOMMY NOBUUUU /p i need someone wise’s advice !!!!

i like to make silly looking “art” (i don’t even consider it real art, it’s more like memes/doodles) (like the ms paint art style, that looks a bit like pixel art and also looks sketchy and simple) and i CAN’T DECIDE if i should make an account to post it??? i really want to but i know NOTHING about ig and its algorythm (even though i did use to have disney and anime fanpages with a decent amount of followers when i was, like, 14). i don’t wanna end up with an account with like 2 followers cuz what if affects my self esteem and the way i view art hsjsg ???? i like my cringy artstyle but.. idk im probably overthinking this AGHH

yk it’s just that when i was a fan account it wasn’t my art so it’s not like i got offended if people didn’t like/comment/save. with things i created it would be different i think??? i’ve been wanting to make an art account for YEARS and i just got into the artstyle (i had a “normal” artstyle before) but wait wait lemme try to link the pics

(hope they work)

so this is the first thing i’ve ever drawn in this style https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-AJt9jSnPo1Enyg4B8Dnm0HMYeFIhxYX/view?usp=drivesdk

and then it just kept going. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-I8x_U-9_ZVwpPE6aDAWlW0ApEuJ2r5Z/view?usp=drivesdk

and going (yes that’s a gyaru trying to talk to a golfball and yes it’s a remake of this meme https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/d6udnl/why_wont_it_move/)

and then i saw this. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-1qO6MbBOo51PK-jhMltsnpfCb0yTGV2/view?usp=drivesdk

and i went “this is so hsr main trio” https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-5MwpEQLIFx_iLdif6R9o66Xc2HW5vjw/view?usp=drivesdk

this is cursed, i’m aware.

then i started making these https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-60FA9_FROx2c0SQrzh1RXOXxm7tFl5G/view?usp=drivesdk

you have NO IDEA how many of these i’ve made. because idk either. all i know is that in three days i had made 20+ of them (which may sound like it’s not much, but for me and how little i used to draw it’s a lot)

and now i REALLY want to make the account but i’m TERRIFIED bc what if no one likes that kind of cringy stuff?????

i’m literally so sorry to bother you with this /gen it’s just me overthinking stuff as always :/ don’t feel pressured to answer me ofc!! <3 also i rlly rlly hope things are going better for you! sending love and support <33

gratefully yours

breaker anon~~<3

MOMMA NOBU HAS ARISEN /j j j j

first, those arts are fucking GORJUS my sweettums. as someone who has lost the ability to draw, that is beautiful. i used to think of becoming a free style painter or to learn how to draw digital but somewhere along the way i just gave up and decided to simply settle on writing instead. even now, when i see art tiktok or recommendations of compilation videos on yt, i feel a bit of an ache in my chest. its just there, y’know?

second, i think you should do for it. maybe try opening up an account on a platform ur incredibly familiar with. perhaps tumblr? or even ig? or even tiktok works too! just any platform you feel safe and comfortable and know how to navigate is good.

and yeah, i can def say felt to the “it will make my mental health worse if i only get 2 likes or smt” bc same same same. i try to write good and capture the characters’ personality correctly while keeping the fic ‘alive’ only to end up with like,,,, hundreds of likes but no feedbacks or reposts or smt LMAOOO

as for a single tip i would give is to expect everything. not everyones going to like ur content and they will suddenly crash into ur inbox talking abt how they hated this fic or smt of yrs bc it was disgusting or not their thing. that has happened to me like,,,, 3 times???? i think?????? and and!!! be sure to do a bit of research beforehand, me thinks. see what kind of attention you would get when u start to post on ur page or account.

honestly, i started this blog as only reposting blog. but then one day my very first 🦝 anon came and i decided, why not write a thirst thought i had with friend and see how it goes? and it just spiraled from there.

main thing is, have patience and love what ur doing. don’t burn urself out over it too much or else what u used to love will end up being what u hate and take good care of yourself sweettums<3

[violetlearnschinese]

today is 6/30/2024 i just wanna write up a log of the things that i've tried so far i guess

i feel like my chinese learning journey is kinda interesting bc . i'm more addicted to trying to innovate/revolutionize/optimize how to learn chinese more than actually learning chinese . and sure some of that could be attributed to instant gratification or wtvr, but also i am also rly addicted to trying to solve physics-esque/mathy problems and that's just what my brain is inclined towards doing, like if it recognizes smth as mathy and nonoptimal then it'll compulsively search for a solution lol . usually this activity doesnt actually turn out to be super productive (and a lot of the time it can seem like im just Wildly Overcomplicating things, and there's definitely an argument for that, yes) but i believe it's at least Somewhattt useful + at least i enjoy the rush (sometimes) + maybe one day ill finally get some Good idea and then ill make millions !!! or maybe that is just what i tell myself to cope . Lmao . anyway.

chinese course at brown

hellochinese

made the whole diagram thing (i was so anal abt this (and esp its application to music) and eventually changed opinion to yeah sure it was correct but not a good way to approach learning bc kids arent just magical sponges but instead the reason that they learn quickly is bc 24/7 private tutor (their mother) + fast iteration)

anki spoonfed chinese too hard

may 23 night - may 24 day

call w regan, she inspired me to just go thru my chinese textbook bc she made me think damn maybe i should just try being normal for once

went thru half of chinese textbook

felt like i wasnt rly learning well past lesson 5 (and lessons 1-5 were mostly review anyway)

may 24-25 ish

found lazychinese.com comprehensible input

found other CI people existed

searched through a Lot, couldnt find much at my level, either way too easy for total beginner or too hard nothing to grasp onto or just no variety of sentence structures

may 25 night

salena sent me the gay guy i could sorta understand him, like i could latch on to smth

coded the thing

went over the video w transcript for a day or two

may 26 day

saw the baby in pool

may 26 night

watched n followed funny easy chinese ig/tiktok accts

may 26/27

tried peppa pig / cartoons / stories on yt / etc, still too hard

may27

up until now, really mostly input little output

peppa pig longest sentence

turned on chinese keyboard

chatgpt convo

texting w friends

wow im not bad

hearing is impt, then pure imitating, then say it while pinyin, then understand

u will not see gains intra-day 1 bc gains r slow obv u need multiple days etc wtvr 2 bc gains happen during Sleep (ie After the learning session, Not During)(analogy to gym, u dont get stronger inside of one session, ur muscle builds up After the session is done)(i notice improvement after one or two days)

do many short sessions, but also include some long sessions

imitating a sentence/paragraph whole-part-whole . listen to the whole thing, then split into parts, then put the parts together . like learning a piano piece . (also this is fractal - if too big, split up)

around this time i tried brute forcing comprehensible input via lazychinese.com, but found it too slow/unoptimal/wtvr

flirting w krashen's hypothesis and i see so many success stories abt krashen (e.g. https://www.reddit.com/r/languagelearning/comments/wetbjo/i_learned_english_through_magic_and_input_krashen/)

this was interesting too, i forgot what i got out of it but it was interesting (https://www.reddit.com/r/languagelearning/comments/r9g1s3/i_immersed_in_spanish_for_900_hours_without_any/)

eventually i disagree w krashen and think he's stupid bc my brother cant speak tagalog

opinion abt tutors

also found out that it lines up with more modern language acquisition theories and critiques of krashen: swain's comprehensible output + dekeyser’s skill building

hypothesis abt memorizing stories might be better than flashcards

like a memory palace but it's stories not palaces

du chinese analysis failed (unique word density starts at 12% then goes to 6%)

i think about here i stopped being so anal about the whole ... diagram that was rooted in kids being sponges

i dont hate language classes as much

trying to brute force grammar

current hypothesis/method:

trying to brute force grammar

same hypothesis abt memorizing stories to learn vocab, but now using AI generated stories (unique word density starts at 32% then goes to 20%. much better!)

build a huge foundation (learn lots of textbook grammar and vocab) (get lots of clay), then iron it out (practice listening/speaking/reading/writing/wtvr to acquire more natural idiomatic expressions and also just increase your speed/skill etc etc) (roll the clay)

[clo-thespin]

tw, talks of past addiction and dissociation

im gonna get really deep.

i am feeling the most intense, sudden crave for alcohol right now. its been a while since ive wanted to drink. i relapsed over xmas break bcuz i had nothing to do and the thought crossed my mind and it sounded fun at the time. it wasnt. it wasnt fun, it wasnt worth it. i broke a lot of my parents trust in me and it kind of ruined the holiday vibe.

but i was putting tags on a post and i went to type "im a little silly" and before i could type silly, one of the suggested tags was "im a little drunk". so, after posting that post, i look up that tag because im curious abt the posts under it.

and the typos, the funny stuff people have typed, i want that. i know that life is much happier to me while im drunk.

when i started reading those posts, i could literally feel the way i get flushed, the way everything's just a little blurry, the way my head spins if i move it, how im a little detached from the world.

i might be dissociating. the feeling of my body when ive dissociated is very similar to the feeling of my body when im on something like alcohol, which is probably why i feel like ive drank something. my hands, that dont feel like mine with how clumsily they are moving around, are warm.

i turned off my music because i was planning on turning a yt video on. but i havent done that yet, so my room is silent minus the sounds of my keyboard. silence scares me but when im in an episode like the one i think i might be in now, the fear is so muted. im scared but for so many other reasons that the silence is pushed back and im not aware of it.

i had to check to see what this post was originally about because i zoned out for so long that i forgot. the craving has gone away and behind all this nothing im feeling is a huge ball of yuck. disgust. towards myself. i know its okay to crave things but i will never stop hating myself for it. it reminds me of all the fucked up shit that i did when i wasnt clean.

im really struggling to stay in the moment and not zone out really bad again. i dont know if im typing things that make sense, im really trying to but i dont feel right. im going to stop typing about this now and try to get back to myself because im scaring myself.

[xplrvibes]

i decided to watch the project fear conjuring episode (side bar, how does this channel not have more followers? it’s actually very well shot, has very much ‘tv series’ vibes. the dynamic is great… and i love the vlog style, the drone shots. im impressed) and i will say idk if they should have explained up front theyd already seen sncs videos before going. i feel like theyre going to go into it with a preconceived idea and what to expect. i did appreciate the opening scene which was essentially a big disclaimer.

but i just think if theyd already planned to go to the conjuring house before snc got back, they probably shouldnt have watched their stuff and been like nah bro we’ll swap notes when we get back. bc snc were obviously so hype abt what they experienced they immediately called all their mates over to see it the second they got back. pf went to the conjuring already wanting to meet cns and already having sncs experience at the front of their minds. idk i just feel like thats more of a hindrance than an advantage.

but this is all in 20/20 hindsight ofc

i actually felt bad for s in this episode tho… there’s a moment and she says to c (when pf step out) “i just feel like we’re traumatising people” and she genuinely sounds sincere and defeated by it. and c was all nah its chill once they accept what we’re telling them, they’ll be chill. and s was like “….😒” making me think if this is all a ploy, c’s the one calling the shots. maybe he’s in kahoots with her dad 👀 lol (sidebar i used to loooooove ghost hunters as a kid. i used to use up all my families internet for the month streaming it on yt lol)

anyway im going to keep watching project fear bc it’s actually decent content, entertainment wise.

- aussie anon

Project Fear started over on TV and moved to YouTube last year (after Zak Bagans supposedly screwed them out of their TV spot but that's a whole other story lol), and I don't think people truly realize how hard it is to go from a TV medium to a youtube medium or vice versa.

Actually, that's probably true for any medium. There's a couple of tiktokkers I follow who are really popular on that platform who are having a hell of a time trying to crack even 10k views on youtube.

It sucks, sometimes.

Anywho, their Conjuring video. I haven't watched it, and honestly don't know if I'll bother. I'm just so...massively, overly DONE with everything about that house after 4 months of people being so annoying about it, lol.

But yea, I agree. In hindsight, I kind of wish snc had just sat on what they had experienced instead of going to the PF guys with it, but then again, I understand why they did go to everyone at the time for feedback and opinions.

It just put PF in a bad position, cause they could scrap all this content, but then that's money wasted and since they're just starting out on the yputube side, that might not be as easy for them to do as it is for others to do, who knows. If they put the video out, no matter what they do, half the internet's gonna be pissed at them for it.

Baby's first youtuber controversy, lol.

Anyway, I have heard people theorize that C is kind of the brains of this whole thing and manipulating S, but there are just so many theories abounding out there at this point, that I just don't even know anymore.

I was a huge Ghost Hunters fan back in the early years, as well! Found their stuff to be more impactful and genuinely creepy than Zak and his theatrics, sometimes 🤣.

[peculiarbeauty]

ahkmen asked: hey! i don't have an active rp blog at the moment so i'm sending from my personal (SUPER sorry abt that!!), but i just stumbled across your blog and saw that you used to rp on youtube! i did too! it always feels so magical to see other people who roleplayed there in ye olden days and i just wanted to give a wave of sorts, glad there's still some of us out here!

OH HELLO MY LOVE. it's no problem at all. i hope it's okay for me to post this rather than make it private as maybe some folks can read and also feel that sense of community. i think it's fun to connect with people who started on youtube with roleplay. idk if you started on yt or not, but either way, i definitely did and it was v liberating.

i met someone on there that was friends with me for yeaaaars from yt as well and we had many good memories from it. we found each other over on tumblr and it was so crazy. me and this person aren't close anymore, but i can forever look back on the memories had and feel thankful in a way for that connection.

youtube was super popular back when you could customize your theme on your channel and stuff and i remember people actually made themes for that the same way they do here. my friends and i all had really cool decked out pages and it was SO awesome. i went onto a site afterwards called a.nispace which .. was the worst experience ever im ngl. just because i had this terrible stalker who never ever left me alone and even threatened me, but i still loved roleplay and i still made some great pals. i guess that's the plus on that haha. i joined tumblr in 2015 and man was i sooo lost on this site. it's crazy looking back at how far i've come but it's like .. if you enjoy roleplay, you don't truly ever leave it behind?? i mean, i guess some people do, but eventually everyone wants to check in and see what's up in the world of writing yk.

i'm really glad that i can bond with you over this, friend. it does make me happy. i absolutely shouldn't have been on yt though as a roleplayer because i was like .. maybe .. thirteen years old when i started. that's why i am so adamant now that interaction with minors is a big no no because i see my younger self looking back at me and i wish that more people felt protective enough to tell me of the dangers on sites and not interact with me because .. i didn't know about the dangers. there were some really shady people out there. and they didn't care about your age when i first started. really freaky.

ANYWAY, onto better things <33333 mwah. adore u.

[m0tel6mxzzy]

you watch that miiasaurous girl on youtube

hmm i remember watching that channel back a few years before???? like sometime around middle/high school but it’s been like 3+ years. i remember specifically watching the story times of her/jessie paege/colliscool and then not really keeping up w any of those ppl later. apparently she deleted her channel but is “back”

from what i heard, apparently she had apologized in some video admitting to faking bipolar disorder and being a sex worker??? and i don’t believe in fake claiming disorders, so it is very saddening if someone actually fakes a mental illness. it certainly warrants criticism for any sort of harmful stereotypes perpetuated from their words that further stigmatize the disorder.

its very clear anyone intentionally lying about having a certain mental illness because they want to change how others perceive them already has some sort of mental health issue related to their negative self perception, and that in itself (ex: compulsive lying) comes w/ consequences but i don’t think she should be stigmatized if she struggles w compulsive lying. corrected abt any misconceptions she may have told about bipolar disorder and harm her lies caused, but not necessarily mocked for struggling w/ compulsive lying and self esteem.

i tend to believe ppl have what they say they do unless they say they faked it. bc imho ppl can woobify mental illness symptoms in such a contrived way someone may call it fake, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t have it. there’s ppl on tumblr glamorizing mental illness, and for the most part i genuinely believe they still have something even if what they say they have at the time would actually be diagnosed as something else.

so i did believe her when she said she was bipolar, and at the time i watched her videos i hadn’t been diagnosed w major depressive disorder yet but knew something was wrong, so her videos resonated with me. i feel for w anyone w any sort of mood disorder bc recovery from something as essential as your own emotions is fucking hard.

but sex workers are heavily stigmatized and glamorized already and i don’t see the benefits in lying about that besides the appeal in being seen as having “lived life.” and this all goes back to whatever mental issues she has that compel her to lie about such things out of fear for how others perceive her. it’s not my call to say what those are but i hope she receives help for that bc it seems to be distressing for her.

also lastly, looking thru her yt video titles i just find it a tad strange she admitted to faking mental illness in an apology but now has contempt for others who “fake” neurodivergence???

all in all—i don’t agree w her actions but i hope she gets help. i feel like she hasn’t learned from it tho bc she went right to fake claiming ppl w autism on tiktok as if this would alleviate the harm she did for those with bipolar disorder, and not just add more to a different community of people.

[ratbutmakeitfyodor]

My biggest toxic trait is that i type [insert my favourite fucking thing in the world] on yt or tumblr see one video or one negative opinion and begin to overthink wheather its right that i like it so much and eventually even stop liking it

[ks-dreams-fantasies]

Hi can I request like a vinnie x reader like the reader wrote deja vu by olivia rodrigo (let’s pretend the reader wrote it and released it) and when the music video got posted on yt yall watch it together with the hype house members and when it finish your crying (tears of joy) and vinnie is proud of her and the other hype house congratulated the reader and thomas and alex filming everyone’s reactions and later thats night the reader and the other hypehouse member are hanging out in the living room and vinnie is all cuddled up to the reader and mia ask who’s the song abt and the reader said its abt vinnie and she explained it that she wrote the song when they broke up and vinnie got with another girl and everyone is shock.. you ucan continue it and do whatever you want in the end thank youu<33

Déjà Vu - Vinnie Hacker

Sooooo, I feel like this wasn't my best piece but I hope you still like it. I love Olivia Rodrigo 👀 I just can’t imagine Vinnie breaking someone’s hearts tbh, he looks way to sweet 

Warning : None

Word Count : 1.2k

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today was an important day for you and your career. Your debut single Déjà vu was coming out and you couldn’t stop yourself from being excited but nervous at the same time. Having been doing covers of your favorite songs on social media for the last 2 years, fans wouldn’t stop asking you when your own music would come out. Today was the day they would hear your ideas for the first time in what seems like forever. You had posted little bits of some compositions you had made but never did you post a clip over 15 seconds long, let alone a full song.

You had been recording a lot in the past few weeks and when you presented the lyrics to Déjà vu to the producers, they fell in love with it. In all honesty you didn’t think it would be one of their favorites since it was sad and angry. You had written these lyrics a while back when you and your now boyfriend were apart. You and Vinnie had been good friends since the moment you had met. Being two growing TikToker, you found yourself hanging in the same places with the same group of friends.

Your relationship was complicated to say the least, you both knew you had feelings for each other, but he wasn’t ready to be in a relationship at the time and you were afraid to get into one as well. It didn’t stop the both of you of doing everything together, you were inseparable. From sharing one spoon to eat your favorite strawberry ice cream, to sharing clothes, you did everything a couple would do. All went crashing down the day you went on a trip with your best friends, a bunch of pictures of Vinnie and a blonde girl holding hand and sharing ice cream, laughing, came flooding the internet. You couldn’t believe what you were seeing, the guy you liked, the guy you thought liked you too was with another women having the time of his life not even giving the time of day.

A few days after you came back from your trip, Vinnie had texted you, but you had decided to ignore him, staying in your room writing down into your notebook. That’s how the lyrics for your new song were created.

After that, things got awkward between the two of you, both of you having the same friend group, hanging out wasn’t easy. He would often bring his new friend with him and the situation made you uncomfortable and sad. They would share moments together, moment you first had with Vinnie, moments you thought belong to the two of you. The girl even posted pictures of places Vinnie would bring her to, places you showed him first.

A few months past and the two of them broke up, leaving the majority of your friends and yourself happy. Soon enough, Thomas invited you to move into the Hype House and you did. You and Vinnie got back to talking frequently and he one day asked you to lunch which you agreed to. You decided to give him a second chance and soon enough he asked you to be his girlfriend. Everyone had been talking about your relationship, approving of your love. The fans were mostly happy, some of them were mad that Vinnie found a new girlfriend, but for the most part, everyone was supportive.

Four weeks later, here you were, all sitting in the backyard waiting for the show to start. Your roommates had decided to surprise you with a nice diner, and they had set up an outdoor projection screen for the release of your debut single. Vinnie had his arms wrapped around you as the both of you sat down on a huge bean bag next to the others. You were all laughing and talking when the voice of the presenter got your attention.

“She’s been getting more and more popular over the past two years and fans had been waiting for her to drop her own music. From singing covers of her favorite songs on the internet to now coming out with her own song, this artist is destinate to a great career. We had the pleasure of getting the exclusivity of her debut single and videoclip, here is Déjà vu by (Y/F/N)”

The screen changed quickly, your face appearing as you licked some ice cream in a convertible. You had told Vinnie about the song a few weeks prior since it was about him. You could feel his arm tightened around you as he kissed your temple

“I’m so proud of you baby” he whispered so only you could hear. You smiled feeling the tears well up in your eyes, realizing how far you’ve come. It wasn’t always easy, but you were doing what you loved with the people who you cherished most. Once the videoclip ended, everyone was clapping making you laugh slightly as tears poured out your eyes.

“OMG! This song is so good (Y/N)” Kouvr said smiling widely as you turned towards her, seeing Alex filming.

“It is, and the video is great” Thomas continued

“Thank you, guys! You’re too kind, you’ve been supporting me from the beginning, and I couldn’t thank you enough for that” you said wiping your tears, looking at them.

“I could never do what you do, you’re so creative, where do you get all your inspiration from? Like for this song, I didn’t know you had all these emotions built up” Mia said, questioning you. You felt yourself tense up as Vinnie rubbed your arms softly.

“It was from an old relationship, all is good now” you shrugged, trying to avoid the question

“Well, this guy seems like he made a big mistake, who would do this to you?” Michael said trying to light up the mood

“Actually, it was me” Vinnie spoke as everyone looked at him with big eyes, including you.

“I’m sorry. What?” Kouvr was the first one to speak

“I was a dick to her two years ago, and I know I broke her hearth. I still regret it to this day and I’m sorry about everything” Vinnie stated now looking at you deeply

“I decided to forgive you and give you another chance and look where that has gotten us. I was scared at first, because of what had happened, but you proved me wrong. You showed me that you’ve changed and that you weren’t that guy anymore. You make me feel so special and I feel so lucky to have you”

“I love you baby, and I’m so proud of you” he said before kissing you tenderly, his tongue finding your bottom lip, making you smile slightly against his mouth

“Okay guys, get a room” Alex said, pushing Vinnie slightly

“We’ll gladly do that” he stood up, offering you his hand to help you do the same

“Stop” you said swatting his chest softly, laughing “Thank you guys so much for this perfect evening, I couldn’t wish for better friends”

“We love you (Y/N)” Mia said bringing you into a tight hug “And you” she said pointing at your boyfriend “If you break her hearth, I’ll have to kill you”

“Don’t worry, I won’t make this mistake a second time”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks for reading

Hope you liked it, let me know what you think

-K

[m-aster-of-spinjitzu]

to see; to be seen

hiya there @fangirltakesall! i was your secret santa:D for the @ninjagosecretsanta2021 - i really hope that you enjoy reading this! and i hope that you have a great christmas and an awesome festive season:D

i hope that this was queued right? timezones are weird xD

you asked for hurt/comfort, the main girl trio, and characters realising that their lives have changed and deciding what to do about it.

i give you,,, pix and nya, after the last episode of s8.

(i tried to include skylor, so many times, but my brain said 'no<3' - i'm so sorry! ik you said trio, it's literally been keeping me up at night but the words didn't wanna cooperate:/. ahh i'm really sorry).

trigger warnings: mentions/a short flashback of pix's body being smashed in s4, grief and all the stuff that comes w/ it, implied self harm (not much but just mentioning to be safe)

word count: 7 026

also - it warrants a mention that you can stop reading at the '---' mark, but there's a bit of an,, epilogue at the end, from misako's pov. i needed someone who'd had experience with that kind of thing to talk to pix about it, so comes in her character, but ik a lot of the fandom doesn't like her - which is fine! if so, just stop reading at the '---' mark:D

and- oh gosh this A/N is so long, but:

lloyd's not sleeping he's concussed (to explain why he fell asleep to quickly), pix was locking her emotions away w/ code when she was talking to nya (hence why she was so calm and didn't think of the others often), the ice is nice thing is a line from the movie, and the dorris day one is the line from the movie bloopers (on yt). the ninja went to go watch a movie that darreth let a bunch of people make (tlnm), so that's how they know abt it. misako had friends in college who went through similar things (referring to her characterisation in the 'epilogue'), so that's why she kept thinking not again, because she didnt want to see anyone else hurt like that. also nya kept tracing a star on her hand, kai used to do that w/ her when she was little, whenever she was scared (for some context/explanation).

anyyyways, here's the fic!:D i've never done a secret Santa before i hope it turned out okay-

It's cold.

It's freezing cold.

It's the kind of cold that you can't seem to get rid of, no matter how many times you bundle on more layers, or toss and turn, trying to fall asleep.

The warehouse - one that they've used to store their mechs in the past - obviously doesn't come with separate rooms, like the monastery or the-

She squeezes her eyes shut - as if that simple motion will block out the memory that plays behind them.

"Nya- Nya, I'm so sorry-"

Her brother's hysterical voice echoes in the alleyway that they'd just stepped into, after mooring the boat they'd managed to scrounge up last-minute. She's kinda preoccupied with trying to check if any of the Sons of Garmadon have somehow followed them, but - well, Lloyd usually never lets these chaotic situations get to him. She doesn't want to think about why it's affecting him so much this time round - that the girl she'd told him to be himself around had never afforded him the same luxury.

"What happened?" she asks, her voice coming off more accusatory than she'd intended. Adrenaline and fear are never a good combination - but, gosh, this time they had been taken completely by surprise. "Where's everyone else? Why is-"

She cuts herself off, moving quietly through the back streets. Questions can come later, once they've gotten Lloyd to the safe house. Even though they were outnumbered way more than they'd thought, she’s not letting those stupid shark-faced bikers take him again.

Her brother follows behind, a hand on her shoulder. The rest of their friends must've hopped off the Bounty, she thinks to herself. Where could they all be now, though? Pixal had mentioned an old warehouse that she uses to store the Samurai X Mech in - another whole other thing that she really wasn’t gonna get into right now-

Lloyd winces, drawing in a breath sharply. His other hand is pressing on his chest, and the motion causes a pang of guilt to shoot through hers.

He was too drained and tired to fight-

How could we-

Why did we let him go in alone-

They're moving so quickly through the dark streets that she- she almost doesn't even hear him at first. Doesn't hear him struggling with how to give her the words that will shatter her world into tiny pieces - and then drive them through her heart.

"They're- they're-"

He keeps muttering to himself, clutching at his hair hysterically. She wants nothing more than to sit down with him, help pick up the pieces from where H- that monster had dropped them, and- gosh, tend to his injuries because he'd practically died today and doesn't even seem to be the slightest bit rattled.

She rubs her temples in exasperation. Of course, her brother wouldn't even give himself some self-care after practically freaking dying-

Well, she reflects, it's not like all of her brothers and her boyfriend don't share that mindset too. Stupid boys with no self-preservation instincts.

Once this whole mess with the Sons of Garmadon was over, they were definitely going to an arcade or something - even if she had to drag the five of them there.

Misako and Pixal had taken a different route earlier - a rather unnecessarily complicated one, but the aim was to confuse any members of that annoying biker gang who might be following them.

And although she was definitely capable of protecting Lloyd from any- of them; anyone who thought that they could outsmart her, she didn't have a lot of faith in their duo at the moment.

One of them practically on the verge of death, one of them exhausted to the point of considering just lying down on the street and sobbing hysterically? Great.

"Lloyd," she whispers, cursing the stupid streetlights that never seemed to work (why were the streets so freaking dark? What if they missed the inevitable ambush? What if-), "you okay?"

"Y- yeah," comes the shaky reply, Lloyd's voice at least an octave higher. He convinces neither of them.

Glancing furtively behind her, she realizes that his puffy eyes are coated in dull red, streaked against the white like raindrops running down a windowpane. Breathing in a series of what sounds like short gasps - sounds all wrong, she registers belatedly - he keeps running his hands through his hair in a sort of frenzied way that's so unlike her little brother-

She swallows, wanting nothing more than to find this lying, manipulative princess, and give a piece of her mind. How dare she- w- why-

"Once we get to the warehouse, we're gonna take care of our injuries, you're gonna tell me whatever you're comfy with, and then you're going to sleep. Not a request, lil' bro," she whispers shakily, turning around to squeeze his hand.

"I'm... I'm older than you," he replies, a weary tapestry of frayed threads. "Listen," he adds, voice too high again, "there's something-"

Then he takes a deep, shuddering breath, and covers his face - as if that can hide the agonized sobs tearing their way of it.

Nya rubs her arms, suddenly freezing cold.

It's not cold outside.

Lloyd-Lloyd never cries.

Never.

Not when he was trapped in an exploding volcano on the verge of an excruciating death - probably terrified as heck. Not when he faced his father on the opposite side of the battlefield, time and time again, not when he had to fight the freaking Overlord, not at Zane's funeral - when the snow falling lightly from the sky had felt far too wrong for such a sombre moment.

Not when his power was literally stolen from his heart, not when he watched his father disappear into a realm of no return - just when they'd started to fight on the same side. Not even when his uncle had vanished into the timestream, leaving behind a grieving nephew and the pieces of a half-broken team. Never.

She swallows a bout of nausea, her hands clutched together hard enough to hurt.

"I'm sure that you have nothing to be sorry for," she says firmly. "Once I give that loser princess a piece of my mind-"

"I- don't- you don't understand!" Lloyd replies hysterically. "She- she-" he breaks off, and Nya unsuccessfully strains to hear the rest of his sentence.

"Hey," she starts, swallowing. What was she even supposed to say in this situation? This was even worse than most of her nightmares - and she died in those, so that's saying something.

As much as Nya wants nothing more than to wrap her arms around him and never, ever let go, she’ll have to settle for gently rubbing his head, frowning as turns into the next street.

The Sons of Garmadon couldn't be far behind.

This time, she'd be better prepared.

She had to be.

"I would advice caution-"

Pixal breaks off as her friend throws another punch, their grey eyes steely with determination.

The plank of wood breaks in half and a couple more shards join the mess on the floor.

Nya wipes her brow, chest heaving as she reaches over for another plank.

"I would advise caution in that... endeavour," Pixal starts, a little louder. When her words ring out in the cold metal of the warehouse yet again, she puts a hand on her teammate's shoulder in what she hopes is a comforting gesture.

Nya's head whips around in surprise, eyes wide and plank raised - but she visibly deflates when she realizes that it's not an intruder. Pixal ignores the pang that shoots through her chest - both of them have been deeply affected by the loss of their friends, family, but Nya refuses to acknowledge that there was anything wrong, other than the Sons of Garmadon - who were currently terrorizing the city.

Well, she knew that that was a normal response to loss - she just hated feeling powerless. After- after Chen-

Almost involuntarily, her mind runs through a well-worn sequence of code. The memory dulls, fading to a blur of colours and too-bright light. It should be… instantaneous, she remembers thinking as she’d programmed the instructions.

She'd never really tried to program herself in that way before - to lock away bits of her code when each piece of it was supposedly vital.

Nya could probably help, she remembers thinking. Or her father. Or Zane. Anyone, really. Anyone who wasn't hiding away memories that they didn't quite know what to do with, messing with code that they didn't quite know how to fix.

Not quite sure if it could be fixed.

Pixal taps her fingers on her other hand irritably, sighing even as her processors all speed up as they did when she was faced with a threat.

Why did that one memory keep breaking through her carefully constructed code? She could, of course, calculate it out of existence - but wasting a piece of information just because a glitch lurked within her own mechanics? Endeavouring to fix it first... seemed like the most logical option…

Right?

"You should go to sleep," she says, slowly. "I do not mind patrolling the whole night - especially since I have m- the suit."

"Thanks, Pixal," comes the hesitant, weary reply. "But I think I'll stick with this - we've all gotta stay in shape, you know?"

Her mind runs through a dozen or so scenarios - to press the issue or ignore it?

"Nya," Pixal starts quietly, "we have all lost someone. You-"

"Yeah, I know!" Nya exclaims, eyes narrowed in anger. "Don't worry, I won't let you guys down again. I mean- I've been through worse," she spits, a brittle laugh punctuating the confession.

“Stupid djin,” she mutters to herself as she pulls her ponytail tighter - tight enough to hurt.

"FSM, Lloyd's the only family I've got left! If you think I'm going to let anyone take him from me again? You're sorely mistaken."

Something unfamiliar burrows its way into Pixal's chest - a heavy, dull sort of ache. Her eyes widen a little, but she decides that she does not quite like the... the- feeling. Perhaps more coding at a later stage could rid her of the virus, she supposes.

I know that it is not quite a virus, she thinks to herself wearily. But she is right not to consider me a part of their team. I only offer them technological aid, not assistance with matters of the heart.

Although I do so wish to do. Or at least... try to do so, difficult as it may be.

But she still feels a pang of sorrow for Nya, who had lost so many. Yet the other's anger stings - even though she knows that it is a common response to loss. A necessary one, arguably.

"Nya, listen. Please," she replies gently, placing a hand on the other girl's shoulder. "None of us think that you have let us down in any way. I was just going to mention that... that none of us think that you should not grieve, either."

"Grieve?" The other girl questions, practically aghast. She then puts a hand over her mouth as if she is trying to muffle her stilted laugher.

Pixal notices that the hand is trembling, shaking like the leaves in Ninjago City Park in the wintertime - yet Nya seems unaware of her own distress. She decides not to comment on it yet.

"Yeah, of course," Nya sighs, her arms shaking as she gestures wildly. "Gimme a second to go and ask the princess if she can stop attacking our city!”

The Water Ninja's words are punctuated with sobs, but she stubbornly ignores the tears dripping down her chin.

"Oh, and while she's at it, maybe she can bring the rest of us back from the dead! Doesn't she have all the Oni Masks?"

"I- I..." Pixal cuts herself off, realizing a second too late that she should not voice a legitimate answer to her teammate's question.

I would assume that the Oni Masks only seem to have the power to resurrect Oni, she doesn't say.

"What do you want me to do?" she asks instead - trying to sound genuine instead of judgmental.

If the surprised expression on the other girl's face is anything to go by, her eyebrows raised a few centimetres, she isn’t quite sure if she’s succeeded or not.

"What do you mean?" Nya asks, so quietly that Pixal has to reboot one of her old lip-reading programs from her stint at Borg Industries to make out the words. Her father had always tried to centre his programs around being more inclusive of those who were disadvantaged by their society’s unfortunate default, usually an exclusive one. A smile twitches at the corners of her mouth, tinged with a bit of melancholy.

“I mean…” she grapples for an answer, scenarios whirling through her head. “I mean that… I do not quite know what to do to help you.”

A silent nod. Caution and curiosity sparking in their eyes.

“I- I wish to try and help both of you,” she continues. “Losing Zane so soon after we had met was… not easy. I-“

“Gosh. Why does everyone always think I’m the weak one-“ she cuts herself off.

Her own anger bristles, just a little. Pixal frowns but elects to ignore it.

“Yeah, that… couldn’t have been easy. I’m sorry,” Nya adds, features softening. “You were saying?"

What was she trying to say?

The words do not come easily as they usually do, held back by a realization that is becoming all too familiar.

She just- she just doesn't know what to do!

Over the last few years, it had been easy to fall into a rhythm of questions and answers. Never daring to ask the former. Always supplying the latter.

She lacked the efficiency of Zane's old power source, of course - his father must have been a technological genius, she remembered musing when Zane had walked into Borg Industries for the first time. And she remembered wondering, too - why had he created an android so similar to humans? They would never be humans - they weren't meant to be! They could never feel emotion or contact the same way. Why try, then?

Well. The two of them had discussed this - feeling something was better than feeling nothing. The positive emotions were worth the negative ones. Humanity gave them a unique outlook on life (as opposed to other Nindroids, she supposed).

Thousands of logical reasons start to pile up. Trip over each other. Hum incessantly through her code - beckon her towards factual explanations so easily determined long ago.

Her hands curl into fists. Her arms shake.

Perhaps emotions enhanced their lives or brought valuable insight to situations painted in shades of grey, perhaps-

When she's not so overwhelmed - not so wrapped in anger, tight, hiding her eyes from the stars, she can deal with perhaps. Then, she can believe the logic that sings through every fibre of her being. Then, the puzzle pieces will click back into place without a hitch. Then-

Now is not then, she chides, and never will it be.

Emotions, they had their place - this she knew.

Y-yet...

Yet, as sobs ricochet through an empty warehouse, as a boy lies curled up in a corner - with a certain stiffness that could be attributed to injury, if not for the spiderwebs of red threaded through his eyes - as a family is ripped apart from the seams, thread cut so quickly that they can barely blink as the ground crumbles away, Pixal has never despised emotions quite so much.

"Is it empathy or acknowledgment? Or understanding? Or reassurance?" Pixal mutters, scenarios playing cautiously behind her eyes.

What does her friend need? she wonders, head spinning. What does she need, herself?

She runs the simulations. She observes. She learns; learns that-

She is clueless in each one.

"Why do you- you care?" Nya hisses, low and quiet, startling her from her thoughts. "I don't want any of this! Unless you can reverse the past, I don't think you can- fix me."

The last two words are laced with contempt, pooling like venom.

"I'm not trying to- to fix you," she replies, a bit curtly. Though she hates to admit it - hates to be anything less than the role model to the kids who'd yell "I wanna be just like you!" to a retreating figure, swords strapped to their back as their lips curved into a rueful smile - she's... irked.

Irked by the fact that humans are so- so, well, human!

Why were they unable to lock their emotions away like the two of them could? Why would their creator want them to be hurt by their own minds? Why would it ever be useful for them to hinder their own abilities? To hinder their ability to save others - and themselves?

Everything is not designed with optimal logic in mind, a small voice at the back of her mind points out.

"When have I ever given you that impression? Aren't friends supposed to help each other in times of need?"

"I don't need-"

"I know, that's not what I..." Pixal trails off. Her eyes flick towards the little - a twinge blossoms in her chest at the word (he's too young for this, she thinks, not for the first time today, not for the first time this year-) - green bundle curled up on the floor. She notes that his chest is slowly rising and falling, the bandage she'd wrapped around his arm unraveling a little, white trailing onto metal floor. And his face-

He looks serious, even while asleep, she realises sadly.

"Look," she whispers, gesturing to Lloyd, "do you want to go outside?" I do not want to wake him up.

Nya's eyes soften as she glances behind her. "Won't that just make us a bigger target?" Weary sarcasm bleeds its way into her voice.

"Possibly," she admits, chiding herself. It's not like me to be so illogical.

So she walks over to the furtherest corner of the warehouse - slowly, so that her feet don't clank on the floor; metal on metal. A bit of an oversight, she notes crossly.

Then-

Why is she cross? It's not something irreversible, and it pales in comparison to the number of feats she is able to accomplish with her skill set.

Nya leans back against the wall, one of her hands tracing something on the other. Back and forth, a finger moving across her palm - almost subconsciously.

"I apologise-"

"I'm really sorry-"

They stare at each other for a moment.

"You can go first-" Pixal says.

"No, you-" Nya says simultaneously, gesturing wildly.

Two beats of silence this time - a bit too long. A bit too uncomfortable; dredging up a bit too much.

"An advanced little robot like you, hmm? Is your head just a bunch of a squiggly cogs?" She isn't looking at him, hasn't been for as long as she can, but a shiver goes down her spine as he laughs. "It'd be fun to take you apart, wouldn't it now?" He claps his hands together excitedly - excitedly. "Into tiny little bits and pieces, just like a jigsaw puzzle. See how it all fits together! Now that'd be a blast, don't ya think?"

A hand rests on her shoulder, and she jerks forward so hard that the chair topples over.

Faces turn to light green; walls, to swirling purple. She sighs in relief as the memory sinks into black, and green, and purple - one last echo of that horrid laughter... then it's back to the suffocating stillness.

"I'll go first," Nya whispers, one of her hands still quickly - as if it is a familiar motion; well worn - tracing something on the other.

"I'm sorry," she says. "I just-" she reaches up to wipe her eyelids, as if willing the tears to stay put. "I-"

"Would you like a hug?"

"...y- yeah," comes the shaky reply.

Face pressing into her friend's shoulder, she can hear every time their breathing hitches. She hugs tighter, tighter, as if the physical pressure can somehow weld a heart that's missing- something none of them will get back.

"Uh, Pixal?" A gasp. "Cwant bweath-"

"Oh no, I'm sorry-"

"It's fine!" A half smile appears on Nya's face.

A second later, she schools her features back into a neutral expression. She bites her lip, a hand curling into a fist and pressing against her thigh.

"You were saying?" Pixal prompts gently.

"Yah, I just-" she blows out a puff of air, shoulders sagging, "I just keep- keep thinking I could've prevented this!

Which is silly, I know, because I'm not the one who caused any of this to happen! And I did the best I could! We all did! It's not like any of us were part of their crazy group- or knew how far they'd go just- just to get want they want! But-" she cuts herself off. From the corner of her eye, a tear streaks down her face.

"But our best wasn't enough."

Nya stares at her hands, as if she'd just noticed that she was tracing something on one of them.

Her eyes widen.

She chokes back a sob, arms trembling. "My best wasn't good enough."

"If not for me, they'd still- they'd still be-"

The cracks start to align.

"They'd still be alive," Nya whispers. Then, louder, "they'd still be alive if I could've just... just- just- done some- something!"

She draws in heaving breaths, gasping gasping clawing for air. Her fingers sweep her cheeks, over and over, even as her arms continue to shake. Tears drip onto the torn fabric of her gi.

"And-" Her lip wobbles, breaths hitching painfully. "And 'm s- s- sorry!" Nya gasps out. "'M so-" a breath, erratic and forced.

Her whispers fade to inhales and inhales; breaths that pull from the air almost greedily, like she can't get enough of the air - and-

And she probably can't, Pixal realises.

What if she chokes? Or seriously can't breathe enough-

And the oxygen levels in her brain decrease until heart functions fail, her brain supplies unhelpfully.

Not the time, she chides, almost out loud.

She rubs circles into her friend's back, slowly - trying not to think about the fact that this is the first time she's seen those bloodshot grey eyes filling with tears what can she do she doesn't know doesn't know-

"Nd- mmphf- I-"

Her code starts glitching again; vision pixelating.

Oh, great. All of this concern is overloading her processors.

"Are you alright?" Pixal whispers, still rubbing Nya's back. She's almost afraid to stop - afraid that if she does, she'll be doing nothing to help and what happens then what happens then she doesn't know-

"'M fine," comes the shaky reply. Nya inhales and exhales, tearstained cheeks puffing out, then going back to normal size. Her chest rises again. "I'm fine," she says quietly. "Thank you."

"It's fine," she replies on autopilot.

"And- uh- I do not know if this will change your mind, but I'd at least hope to try to, I mean, if I can-" Pixal winces.

"No matter what your thoughts say, it was not your fault that everything went down the way it did. The Sons of Garmadon are just horrible - and it's not any of our faults for failing to meet their insane amount of manpower, or- or failing to assume the worst of them-"

"Are we compatible now?"

She smiles, clasping his hand a little tighter. Sometimes she doesn't quite believe that he's still here - still whole.

"Yes," she giggles, as he rests his head on her shoulder. "We are."

Jay's laughter rings over the comms. "Come on, we're in the middle of a mission!"

"Oh, like the patrols you and Nya sign up for?" Kai shoots back.

Lloyd and Cole collectively sigh.

"Alloromantics," and she can practically hear Cole jokingly put his head in his hands. "I'll never understand 'em."

Her vision pixelates again, and the world goes blurry.

"In all honesty?" Her voice tight with pent-up anger, she narrows her eyes. "We have far too many threats to take on."

Nya gives a halfhearted shrug, as if to say 'it is what it is - I've accepted it, I guess'. But she dips her head in assent. Her gaze falls to the floor as she grits her teeth; lips pressed together tightly.

"Our limitations hold us back - not our will, never our will. We have too few ninja, not nearly enough communication with the police force-" her voice takes on a brittle tone. "And the few of us? We. Logically. Cannot be everywhere at once-"

"So, yeah," she says, quieter. "It's not your fault. It's not any of our faults. We did the best we can-" the world starts breaking into tiny, multicoloured squares. "But we were outnumbered, and, logically, we cannot fight them all."

Nya's shoulders slump, but she reaches over like she's going to imitate a hug - and then pats Pixal's arm awkwardly, stepping away. "I- I- thanks."

"I keep telling myself that," she whispers, rubbing furtively at her eyes. "But I can't seem to believe it, somehow."

"It's not like- like neither of us knew this would happen! It's not like we asked for this! But do either of us cut corners? Leave our roles unfulfilled?"

Her eyes narrow to slits.

"No. No, we don't."

"I just-" she stomps her feet, swallowing back a sob. "I- it's not fair-"

"It's not it's not it's not," Nya says fervently, voice hoarse, as she curls in on herself. "I-"

"I just want them back," she cries. She digs her fingernails into her palms, shaking. "I just- wanwt- hem-"

A dozen or so scenarios present themselves. Pix deliberates sorting through them all; taking notes and working towards what she hopes is the best approach - as she usually does.

But-

Screw it, she declares. Surprising herself, she hits pause on the scenarios for the first time since- the first time in a while.

"I'm sorry," she says quietly. "I don't know what do," she chokes out the confession like acid's burning up her throat, "because- because I don't think there is anything any of us can do."

She pulls her friend into a hug. "But I'll do anything I can to help the two of you," she says.

Light green eyes meet grey.

"I promise."

Nya pushes back the curls framing her face. Her hair's come loose, Pixal realises.

"Can I?" She lifts her wrist to show the hair ties she often wears on it.

"Sure," Nya replies. "Thank you."

A hand squeezes hers. "Not just for the hairdo."

"It's- it's fine."

A few moments later, it is not fine.

Clunky fingers, she notes, struggling to tie a simple ponytail. Another oversight, apparently.

Or...

"You have to do it like this," Cole insists, scribbling furiously.

"Nah, just go with the flow. If it's a bit weird looking, it's not like they'll notice-"

Lloyd swats at Kai with a purple travel pillow.

"That yours, Short Stack?"

"Jay hasn't noticed it's missing yet," Lloyd whispers, making a big show of holding his hand to Kai's ear.

Nya pulls her hair tie onto her wrist.

"Boys," she pretends to whisper. Kai pretends to be annoyed, rolling his eyes.

"Here, I'll show you. One," she pulls a few curls towards her face, separating them into three bunches of strands. "Two," she mutters, pulling the one on the right into the middle.

"And three!" Nya finishes triumphantly, the left strand now in the middle. "Then you just repeat it!"

Zane smiles. "Thank you." He pretends to pat her head.

"Oh, stop it," she laughs, giving him a hug.

"It's too hot for hugs," Kai groans.

"Dude," Nya says slowly. "Have you forgotten that your friend can literally create ice?"

"Ice is nice!" Jay exclaims, pitching his voice at least an octave higher.

Cole grins. Zane puts his head in his hands. Kai falls off the couch.

Lloyd sums up what they're all thinking.

"You look like Dorris Day!"

"TH- THANKS!" the whole room choruses, laughing.

Pixal watches with an ache in her chest.

A longing, for something more than what she's been lucky to enough to get.

She was lucky to enough to live, but not lucky enough to lift the cloak of invisibility that still hangs over her shoulders.

One, two, three. One, two, three.

Titanium fingers deftly go through the motions, green eyes watching a grainy world of colour and squares.

The cloak's gone now.

She's Samurai X now.

They're not here to see it.

Nya shakes her head. "Oh - a plait?" She asks, reaching her hand back to check. "Thank you. I didn't know you could do those, though?"

To answer the question or ignore it?

"Well-" her vision starts to clear. "Well, you were the one to teach me."

A bittersweet smile comes to her face. "I never had a chance to thank you until now."

Nya looks confused for a moment.

Then, absolutely gut punched.

"O- oh. Oh, FSM. You were watching that day, weren't you? The day we got back from the cinema?"

Her eyes widen.

"FSM," she says slowly. She drags a hand down her face, eyes peeking out from the gaps between her fingers. "You were always there with us, weren't you?"

Pixal nods - not sure if she trusts herself to give a proper reply.

Nya reaches over to squeeze her hand again.

"I don't even know what to say," she mutters sadly. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I can't believe it slipped our minds so often, that- that-"

Out of sight, out of mind. An old expression her father sometimes used.

"That our team had seven members," she adds, eyes misty. "That- that I could've had sixbest friends, if I'd tried."

Nya's gaze sweeps across the empty warehouse - inches and inches of bare metal, a mech curled up in one corner and a boy in the other. Two fighting machines, Pixal thinks bitterly.

Grey eyes meet hers.

"We're all we've got left," Nya says. "We're all the city's got left."

"We will do th- everything we can," Pixal vows. "For the city-"

"And each other," Nya concludes fervently. She inhales, slowly.

Her voice is still thick with unshed tears, her arms still shake.

Pixal's processors keep overloading, her world becoming a startling mirage of colour and blocks every so often.

But she looks down to their clasped hands - one with bruised knuckles; an old scar in the middle of the palm. One with bits of metal poking out from the seams - one, cobbled together from bits and pieces that no one else wanted.

She looks down at their hands, and she sees. And she is seen.

They need to grieve. She knows this. She knows that Nya's confident stance doesn't hide the anger and sadness swirling in her friends irises; knows that Lloyd has many wounds that she cannot bandage.

But she is seen.

And she sees - I can't take away the sadness, or the anger, but I can try to help through it, a robot with white-blond hair realises.

Yet - it is not enough, merely to be seen. Merely to see.

For what is that without others to see you too? Without others for you to see?

But when Nya clings to her a little tighter, she doesn't let go.

When her friend promises Lloyd that she'll always protect him, Pixal bites her lip.

She pulls off the chains she'd shot at him. Later that day, she ruffles his hair. She offers similar words - completely unprepared for a sobbing boy to wrap his arms round her chest.

They all try - to listen, to offer tissues, hugs, to say that it's okay not to know, it's okay to be angry. It's okay to feel what you're feeling. That it's okay to grieve. To admit that they also hope they're going to come back, because hope hurts less than facing the reality.

They see.

And so does she.

---

Misako rattles the door handle as she

comes back from her shift of the patrol.

Seeing that Lloyd and Nya are asleep, her shoulders sag just a little. She sighs in relief.

Maybe it's just the paranoia talking, but she's always terrified that she'll come back to an empty warehouse one day. That she'll fail her child again; leave him behind in the name of protecting him.

That was a bad choice, she chides. This isn't. We have to ensure that we're not being followed. We have to keep the resistance alive, she repeats like a mantra. Maybe if she thinks it enough, it'll hurt a little less.

Noticing one member of their party missing, her gaze flits to Pixal welding pieces of her mech back together.

"I can take the next shift, too," she says quietly.

"I've got it," the girl replies - how did did even hear her from all the way across the warehouse? - brushing white hair from her eyes. Then- "Is there even a shift now? I thought we agreed that it's unlikely for the Sons of Garmadon to be on the streets at 3AM."

Is that what time is it? Heck.

"Yes, sorry," Misako replies. Of all the kids, Pixal's been the most withdrawn. She helps plan Lloyd's training schedule, braids Nya's hair and holds her hand and listens.

No, she's not withdrawn from the group. It's more like she's withdrawing herself from them - letting everyone talk to her about this horrid biker gang, but not talking to everyone else about the nightmare fuel things they've done.

She unties her hair, sighing.

Not for the first time during these few days, she deliberates asking the third kid to open up a little.

But-

Look at your son, a nasty little voice at the back of her mind hisses. If he's any indication that you're not good with kids-

"Shut up," Misako mutters.

She walks over to the Samurai X Mech.

"What are you doing?"

Light green eyes lift their gaze from the metal.

"Trying to improve some functions," Pixal replies. Her eyebrows crease. "Shouldn't you be asleep? It is, after all, 3AM."

"Can't really sleep. But what about you?"

"I don't need sleep," she replies, a half-smile on her face. "Do you want to talk about whatever's bothering you?"

This isn't the first offer.

The irony, she thinks sadly.

She won't admit it - not to her kids, not to herself - but she's worried. Worried about the girl who spent half an hour unable to see and then brushed it off as unimportant. Worried about the other kid with green eyes - the one whose heart isn't so visibly worn as her son's is. The warrior who'd once thrown a man through a building on live TV.

"I'm good, thank you. And you?"

Almost as if on autopilot, Pixal echoes Misako's answer.

Maybe it would be better if this kid wore their heart on their sleeve a little more.

"Well, I'm not an engineer - but I took a couple courses in uni. Can I help you with anything?"

"Sure!" A bit of a spark appears in the girl's eyes. "So, I'm trying to make the right arm move smoother - also, do you think it'd be better to..."

An hour or so later, Misako's pretty sure she has grease in her hair - but the mech doesn't look too worse for the wear.

"Thanks for letting me help," she says, smiling. "Even if I almost caused the jetpack's fuel to explode."

"Zane did the same thing," Pixal replies, without thinking - and then a shadow falls over her face.

Misako puts her hand on the girl's shoulder. "Goodnight-"

Quicker than she'd have thought possible from anyone, even a robot, Pixal jerks forward like she's been punched. Breathing heavily, the girl places her hands over her eyes and moans.

Frozen, Misako stands ramrod still with shock for a moment. "Are you alright?" she asks gently.

Slowly backing away, Pixal stumbles over the arm of her a mech. She doesn't even try to break her fall, instead drawing her legs to her chest.

"Please," she cries, rocking forwards and backwards. "Please, I'll tell you anything you want to know, just don't-"

The light green of Pixal's eyes flickers in and out as she screams.

Misako's blood practically runs cold.

Not again, is all she can think as she walks closer - not too close, never too close. Not again. Not again.

"Can you hear me?"

She repeats the question a minute later, each second sending a twinge of pain through her skull. Not again. Not again. Not again.

It seems like an eternity before the other girl shakily nods her head.

"You're in Ninjago City," Misako says, trying not to let her concern find its way into her voice. "It's 2018. You're in a warehouse with Nya, Lloyd and I. You're safe. You're safe."

"Okay," Pixal replies. "Thank you."

"Can you see?" Misako asks gently.

A few seconds pass. "Not really," Pixal admits, so softly that Misako has to strain to hear her.

"Do you know why? Can I help?"

"Yes, no. It'll pass soon, thank you."

"Can I hold your hand?"

Pixal's eyes start to blink in and out, like a traffic light. She'd laugh if they were in any other situation - anything but this. Not again.

"Yes," she says after a minute. "But-"

"Yes?"

"But please don't touch my shoulders."

"You got it," Misako replies, her voice measured. But a shiver goes down her spine all the same. Pixal's, what- fifteen? Any age is horrible, but- fifteen-

Her eyes are starting to go bloodshot, but she refuses to let any tears fall. She's the adult here - the only adult here. They're meant to come to her for help, not the other way around.

After about half an hour of anxious thoughts (not paranoia, not this time - is that better or worse? Not better, she thinks, wiping a tear from her cheek, because now there's evidence for her anxiety to feed on and that's a million times worse, there shouldn't be bits of truth in this story-), Pixal's eyes stop flashing and go back to normal. She takes in the room quickly, seemingly startled to find Misako sitting a meter away from her.

"You should have gone to sleep - it's late. But..." the girl trails off. "Thank you so much. I didn't know the- that could be helped like that. I appreciate it."

"Anytime," Misako says slowly. "But what exactly was that?" She holds up a hand. "You don't have to tell me about it if you don't want to, but..." she bites her lip, adding, "but it might help."

"I'm fine," comes the reply, a little curt. "Thank you, though."

"No, you're not."

Misako's not sure who's more surprised by the words - her, or Pixal.

You've made your bed, now lie in it.

"I don't know what you're going through," she starts, swallowing, "not exactly. But I have an idea. And that's not easy to go through, whatever it is that you're dealing with." She presses a hand to her face to keep the tears from falling. "But I'm always here if you want to talk about it."

"I-"

Pixal cuts herself off.

At first, it looks like she's going to politely decline the offer. She opens her mouth and starts the same autopilot reply; Misako's heart sinks.

But then she cuts herself off again.

"No," she mutters to herself. "Screw it. Apparently I'm not good enough at coding to do this one simple thing, so this can't hurt, can it?"

"You- you won't tell Lloyd? Or Nya?" Pixal twists her fingers back and forth nervously.

"You have my word."

The next hour turns out to be one of the most horrifying of Misako's life.

Pixal talks - casually, far too casually - of a prison cell, and a man who- who- who had spun a wheel to see which limbs of hers he was going to smash. A man who'd made her watch as he threatened to kill her lover if she didn't cooperate with his demands. A man who started a war - for fun.

A man who smashed her body limb from limb, and left the pieces for her lover to find.

"And sometimes- I mean- I don't know, it sounds stupid," Pixal mutters. "But sometimes I feel like he took so much more from me than just an- and exoskeleton," her voice cracks, "and some metal."

"My entire identity became 'the girl in Zane's head'," she says, shaking. "And I'm glad that I got to live, because I would never... have made it out of that cell otherwise."

"But I could- couldn't even talk!" she cries, raising her hands to her face again. "I. Couldn't. Even. Talk."

"And Zane would try and relay what I was saying, at first, but it got so confusing and it eventually just fizzled out."

Her bright green eyes fade out, then turn back on. Pixal winces.

"I just- so many opportunities," she says sadly, her fingers curled into fists. "I never had any friends, and when the nightmares came back I-"

Breathing heavily, she holds out a hand to Misako. The latter takes it, a little confused. "And I didn't know what to do, and- and when Zane was hacked and Nya- the power core- and I was all alone again and- this time I really was alone and- mech- at least no one can-"

Pixal sounds like she's on the verge of a panic attack.

"Hey," Misako starts gently, "can you breathe in for four seconds?"

They talk well into the sunrise - Pixal learning that her supposed 'glitch' was not a problem that she'd failed to fix, her eyes going completely blank at the realisation.

"Can you see?" Misako has asked.

"Yes," she whispers, as if in disbelief. She reaches a hand tentatively forward. "I- I can see, everything's blurry but I can see-"

Misako learns that the snake who blackmailed her husband for so many years; the man who provoked bloodshed and war and countless other atrocities - she learns that he's in the Departed Realm, now.

Morro is there too. Maybe they'll finish each other off, she thinks bitterly.

She still wants to punch something, but she'll rest a bit easier knowing that Chen spent a fair amount of time rotting in the Cursed Realm. It's a shame Nya had fo destroy it, she thinks. Some people deserve to be there.

Pixal sees others, yes.

Yet, as the sun rises -

She is seen.

[gogtopia]

Your thoughts on the yt-twitch divide are so fun to read!! I’m currently doin a bit more research into it but YouTube seems to be trying to expand its content bidirectionally which is rlly interesting—there was a conference a month or so ago I went to where Susan Wojcicki and her chief data scientist talked about the algorithm and the ways that they’re currently trying to promote rlly short-form content (like YT shorts), which is why I was so shocked to see that they ended up bringing Sykkuno over, because streamers are the exact opposite of that short-form, tiktok-esque content with hours-long broadcasting. I honestly am just so interested to see where YouTube is going with this shift, bc then they’re playing a long game with every single type of audience, yk? You have the people who are looking for short, quick bursts of stimulation that they’re trying to push in YouTube shorts, the vast range (though on average abt 5-10 minutes long) of the shit they’re known for, and then streamers who are known to put out streams that are supposed to hook people for extended periods of time.

Personally I think that’s their issue, and why it seems so corporate—it literally is! They’re trying to spread themselves sooo thin covering every base of media consumers on the planet while lagging behind in maintaining what they already have. Recently, they announced a feature similar to raids (which I like but have some critiques of) for streamers, so it seems they’re putting in some technical effort to make YT streams a bit more bearable to Twitch viewers. But idk I don’t know how the hell that their model is feasible rn because it seems like a lot of people from a lot of different groups are unsatisfied with YouTube bc they can’t seem to balance their technical capability limits with the business side of things, whereas a platform like twitch or tiktok have one singular audience they need to tailor their platform to. I’d love to hear ur thoughts though they’re very well-written and I feel like PepoG when I read them lmfao

i rmr seeing you post abt going to that conference and i was like omg that’s so cool! i’m definitely not as informed on all this as you since most of what i know is just from streamers and chatting with my friends about it but i do think it’s super interesting. i knew that they were trying to push shorts and to me it kind of makes sense. beyond the fact that most social media apps will try to capitalize on trends for others, youtube is a video content platform. in many ways both shorts and streaming can be considered an extension of that. i do think it’s slightly funny that youtube is pushing shorts so hard and kind of flopping after they for the past several years have been pushing creators to make longer content via monetization and the algorithm so that most videos are at least ten minutes (i remember watching some mike’s mic video/podcast ep where he went into how the algorithm worked a year or so ago but i can’t for the life of me find it rn) even though youtube was in many way founded on shorter videos. so it’s almost like they’re trying to move backwards to capitalize on that short form content after they, to some extent, pushed that content away from their platform.

i definitely think they’re spreading themselves too thin with it. it’s better to do one thing well than everything poorly but i think many companies value profit over user experience and youtube definitely falls into that category. they need separate interfaces for shorts and streaming to be more successful if they want them to be a core part of their site, but obviously that takes time and resources to code/design/etc. i do think they have a shot at becoming a successful livestream platform, especially because twitch isn’t exactly a perfect platform to create for. i mean, ludwig and sykkuno are two creators with huge audiences immersed in that streaming culture. but i think it comes down to them listening to those streamers and their audiences. they need to listen more to their users otherwise these projects are going to fall flat, like i feel like YT shorts has been.

[androgynousblackbox]

Do you think a content creator's race/ethnicity in mostly white fandom contributes to who gets more support on their content? me(a poc) and a quirky YT person would draw similar things or talk abt the same character but everytime they get much more love *shrugs* maybe I'm just overreacting lol

Disclaimer: I am very, very white so I might be having some major blindspot here and I can only rely on what other POC on social media have spoken to.

Having said that, whenever we are talking about social media I am very hesitant to point at any singular thing about why something went viral and something else didn't. Sometimes your stuff was published at the right hour where more people were online, maybe the right person with an established following saw it, maybe it happened to be the first of it's kind, maybe it happened to kick on the very specific taste of specific people. Likewise, maybe your style goes against the norm in fandom, maybe your preferences are not the most popular, maybe the characters you like (usually POC) are not that popular or maybe you published it at an hour where people didn't see it because they were paying attention to something else.

Point is, on my experience watching people becoming The Fan everyone knows and everyone talks about in fandom, there is a lot of luck and a lot of gamble when it comes to grabbing attention through social media. Creators who were making stuff for a long ass time could finally be discovered because of a certain topic and work, and people who discovered fandom last week happened to strick gold at the first try. This is the reason why worrying about numbers in general on social media is a doomed task. You can play all your cards right and still get nothing in return, through no actual fault of your own. You literally cannot predict the public. People tried and it never worked.

So... I don't know. It could be and it could be not. There is definitely racism about the way people react to POC characters, either ignoring them entirely or trashing them for things they would praise on white characters. How people react negatively when they see a person making mostly POC characters or attack them for just declaring themselves as non white. All of that does happen and is a sad reality, but I don't know how much that affects your case.

I guess the best I can suggest is just keep creating whatever thing is that make you happy and sooner or later that will attract people towards you. Don't lose your head over numbers, it never did anyone any good. Just make shit and someone will come to see it.

[seeraphina]

hhhhhh im so upset my teacher just made us watch this fucking terrible yt video, at first it was just a white man talking abt the rabbit proof fence story and history but then at the end he went on a religious tirade and started preaching that the young aboriginal girls managed to get back home because they ‘accepted jesus christ into their hearts’ and went on a spiel about people who have been displaced from their homes and cultures and said that it was okay because ‘GOD is always in control!!!!’ and at this point i was thinking damn the only way this can get worse is if he plugs his fucking sermon or book next and guess fucking what. he plugged his fucking christian prayer book! yuck

anyway when it finished i thought my teacher (who is a white woman mind you) was gonna be like ‘oops did not expect that ending’ but she said fucking nothing so i was like uuuuh was i the only one who found that super offensive??? and thankfully one of the other girls in my class was like ‘yeah i was gonna say :/’ and my fucking teacher was like ‘oh really? why?’ wht  the fuck. she’s literally out cultural competence teacher omg. so i had to explain to her like christians literally go around all over the world forcing indigenous ppls to abandon their cultures and convert to chr*tianititiy and this unit is LITERALLY about how that happened to aboriginal australians and this man had the gall to say the shit he did! ironic that he was praying for ppl who are displaced when its literally his ppl doing this not just in australia, but in boths americas and africa and asia like fucking hell how stupid can you be

so i said my bit and she was still like ‘i see ur point but i guess thats just his point of view :) ‘ the fuck ew. i just lost all respect for her lol