#and i wish I could convey my appreciation appropriately.

[rcsetorn]

Nothing official, but just some FFXVI verse musings...

I don't want to get cliché or overuse some ideas that are gonna be pretty popular amongst other rpers. Being a bearer or a dominant namely. That doesn't stop me from entertaining the thought. Suppose she was a dominant. Alexander would be fitting. Not sure how someone would prime into a giant winged castle, but would still be cool. Then semi priming with 4 angel wings maybe? This is using the inspiration from IX's eidolon of course since Alexander is the guardian patron of Alexandria, and Beatrix, too, has devoted her life protecting and serving as the city's sword. And imagine her priming with white glowing spiderweb energy. Like a beacon of holy magic.

That aside, trying to figure out which nation she'd serve is tricky since I like adding a touch of misguided evil actions despite being morally aligned as lawful neutral. Rosaria would be a fair choice, even if she continued serving the bitc- I mean Anabella from Sanbreque. I even mused once about Beatrix as a Black Shield. (And before you call me out, ...yeah, blind loyalty is her thing. Even if she doesn't like it.)

I could probably mention she'd also not go out of her way to mistreat bearers, but she probably would maintain the status of class between bearers and non.

There's a lot of Norse references with Waloed, and I already give a few Valkyrie vibes from Bea normally. (Also not to mention in IX were Odin comes in and destroys Cleyra after Beatrix already invades. Another fun little tidbit, but really could make all sorts of little references to include with the eidolons/eikons.) But there's a lot more mystery with that kingdom that I'd have to learn of. And their treatment of bearers is far more extreme than I think Beatrix would stand by and allow.

Then let's not get into her fear of Bahamut, shall we~

Anyway...now on the matter of the Outlaw and his band... I don't think Beatrix would willingly side straight way. Upturning society as they are. It would take some strong convincing. Could always capture her~ I still crave some good POW settings for Bea. Even if Cid found her, and she was enacting some evils or butting heads with Cursebreakers or interfering in some way... and Cid knew she wasn't really a bad person, just needed a little persuasion, then perhaps she'd eventually come around after seeing some hard truths.

But ye. Wanted to drop some ramblings on the matter. Especially if some of the XVI rpers happened to lurk and see something of interest amongst this themselves. *shrugs*

[missrosiesworld]

Gentleman's Heart

Here are some sweet headcanons for Von Lycaon when he has a crush:

Heightened Cleanliness: Von Lycaon’s already meticulous nature goes into overdrive. He ensures his surroundings are impeccably clean whenever his crush is around.

Von Lycaon: "Please, allow me to tidy up a bit before you come in."

Crush: "You really don’t have to go through all this trouble."

Von Lycaon: "It's no trouble at all. Your comfort is my priority."

Protective Instincts: His natural inclination to protect becomes even stronger. He subtly keeps a close watch over his crush, ensuring they are always safe and comfortable.

Von Lycaon, offering his arm to his crush: "Allow me to walk you home. The streets can be unpredictable at this hour."

Crush, smiling but hesitant: "Oh, that's very kind of you, but I'm sure I'll be fine."

Von Lycaon, gently taking their hand and placing it on his arm: "It's a privilege to ensure your well-being. I'd feel better knowing you arrived safely."

Crush, feeling his protective nature and warmth: "Thank you, Lycaon. That means a lot to me."

Von Lycaon, giving a reassuring smile as they start walking together: "Your safety is my top priority. I'll always be here to watch over you."

Subtle Courtship: Being a gentleman, Von Lycaon uses old-fashioned, subtle methods of courtship. He leaves small, thoughtful gifts and handwritten notes, often with poetic quotes or observations he knows will resonate with his crush.

Von Lycaon leaves a rose, carefully dethorned, along with a handwritten note on his crush's desk

Von Lycaon's note reads: "For the one who brightens my days, a small token of my appreciation."

Canine Instincts: His canine instincts become more pronounced around his crush. His ears might twitch or his tail might wag slightly when he’s particularly happy or excited in their presence.

Crush: "Is your tail wagging?"

Von Lycaon, flustered: "I… It seems I can't control it when I’m happy."

Crush, laughing and reaching out to touch his ear gently: "It’s cute. I like seeing you happy."

Loyalty and Devotion: Von Lycaon’s loyalty to his crush is unwavering. He goes out of his way to assist them, whether it’s helping with tasks or offering a listening ear.

Crush: "You've been helping me a lot lately. I hope I'm not burdening you."

Von Lycaon: "Nonsense. It's my pleasure to assist. Your happiness is reward enough."

Overthinking Interactions: Despite his outward composure, he internally overthinks every interaction. He analyzes every word and gesture, wondering if he came across the right way or if he said something that could be misinterpreted.

Rina, noticing his distraction: "You seem distracted, Lycaon."

Von Lycaon, his brow furrowing as he reflects: "Do you think I was too forward in our last conversation? I fear I may have made them uncomfortable."

Rina, giving him a reassuring smile: "From what you've told me, they seemed quite happy. Stop overthinking."

Gentle Touches: Physical contact is gentle and deliberate. He might place a reassuring hand on their shoulder or offer a gentlemanly kiss on the hand, each touch conveying his deep affection and respect.

Von Lycaon gently takes his crush's hand and, with a gentleman's grace, kisses it

Crush, smiling warmly: "You're quite the gentleman, aren't you?"

Von Lycaon, with a soft, affectionate smile: "For you, it's only natural."

Confiding in Trusted Friends: He confides in Rina about his feelings, seeking advice on how to express them appropriately without compromising his gentlemanly demeanor.

Von Lycaon: "Rina, may I seek your counsel on a personal matter?"

Rina: "Of course, Lycaon. What’s on your mind?"

Von Lycaon: "I’ve developed feelings for someone, and I wish to convey them without losing my composure or propriety."

Tail Wagging: When he’s particularly happy or flustered around his crush, his tail betrays him by wagging despite his best efforts to stay composed. He’s slightly embarrassed by this but it’s also endearing.

Crush: "You seem unusually happy today."

Von Lycaon, tail wagging, trying to suppress it: "Do I? Perhaps it’s the company."

Increased Poeticism: He becomes more poetic in his speech, often quoting literature or composing his romantic lines when speaking to or about his crush. His words are carefully chosen to reflect his deep feelings.

Von Lycaon, with a gentle, sincere tone: "The stars pale in comparison to your radiance."

Crush, blushing slightly, feeling touched: "You always know how to say the most beautiful things."

Von Lycaon, smiling softly, his eyes full of affection: "It's simply the truth, and I find myself captivated by it every day."

[vamphorica]

MellodraMattic and Queerness: An Essay

Before I begin, I need to make it clear that my thoughts on this subject are directly inspired by this post by overkeehl. I not only recommend but insist that you read it before continuing, as I am going to be exploring a small component of the greater idea that they have already established. Essentially, I am taking the idea of Mello's character being queer-coded and developing it in regards to how MellodraMattic becomes a very validating ship in the context of marginalised sexual and gender identities.

I am also going to touch on internalised queerphobia, so consider this as a warning if that's not something you fancy reading about.

Anyway.

Mello is a distinctly queer character. I don't say this from an entirely projective approach because I think there are plenty of examples throughout Death Note where Mello's visual presentation and characterisation signifies it. His androgyny is the most explicit indicator of nonconformity in relation to traditional gender expression. I fondly remember when I first read Death Note, aged ten, and was convinced that Mello was a girl for several pages. Suffice to say, Mello's appearance is rather ambiguous, making him an adaptable character for one to project queerness onto. We will go into more depth on this later on.

It is also worth mentioning that Mello's style is quite camp. I love the way he dresses and only wish I had the confidence to pull off his outfits, but they are also very ridiculous and inconvenient. One of my Top 10 Mello Moments Ever is when he tails Mogi and Misa, wearing this:

Those sunglasses are doing absolutely nothing to keep him out of sight, but I appreciate the fact that he obviously thinks otherwise. He simply must serve cunt to the detriment of the task at hand.

If I have not convinced you that his style alone is a good hint that he is a queer character, even in the most general sense of the term, there's plenty within Mello's character context that isn't exactly subtle in how he is portrayed as evidently nonconformist. I do think you have to be careful not to equate certain traits with queerness when it may not be appropriate to do so (after all, there's many characteristics relating to neurodiversity that can be identified in those who originated from Wammy's House, and while I won't get into the whole discussion about the overlap there because it's not my place to do so, I also think it would be an interesting subject to explore).

However, it is completely understandable why a lot of queer people see themselves in Mello. As a child, around the age that I think many begin to explore their sense of self, Mello's identity is ultimately threatened by L's death. He is confronted by the prospect of working with (accepting) Near in order to catch Kira. Instead, he runs away, and the narrative that follows is of a man tied up in complex feelings relating to his identity as a 'runner-up'. To put it simply, it conveys queer grief very well — Mello struggles with the fact that who he is as an individual does not align with the expectation that Wammy's House instilled in him from a young age. Similarly, some queer people may find that they must contend with accepting an identity they had been discouraged from exploring as children.

I think for many queer people seeing themselves in Mello, this sense of shame that can be identified as internalised homophobia or transphobia is unfortunately a common experience. It can take a long time to recognise, let alone challenge the societal standards that have been deemed 'normal' or 'correct'. Mello encapsulates this disconnect well in the sense that his goal to defeat Near as a means to prove himself as a worthy successor to L is doomed from the beginning. He was never meant to be the one to become L, and yet he runs straight to his demise in his desperation to receive recognition from an institution that he could never succeed within. I am not suggesting that all queer people go through this level of intense self denial when exploring their identities, but I think it ought to be appreciated that through Mello, there are a plenty of parallels that reflect the complexities of discovering your sexuality and gender identity.

Additionally, if you'll excuse me posting two rather grim examples of objectification in the manga, it is worth noting that Mello, in close proximity to two naked women, does not seem remotely interested in their bodies, which might suggest a queer identity on a very shallow level. I do think, given how misogynistic almost all the male (and some of the female) characters in Death Note can be, Mello is notable in the sense that he doesn't actively discriminate against the female characters. He treats both genders like shit. Feminist icon.

Mello is very easy to project an assortment of queer identities onto. For what it's worth, I headcanon him as bisexual and FtM, but I know you are not reading this essay for my personal projections. You can consider Mello as MtF, asexual, gay, nonbinary — all of these identities can easily be validated within the canon context because Mello is so versatile while still being a developed and nuanced character. His story mirrors so much of the struggle that queer people contend with, and while I think it is a massive shame that it isn't resolved, I think that in itself only exemplifies the complicated nature of identity.

So, where does Matt come into all of this?

It is important to remember that Matt as a character was created for Mello. In the main series, it isn't even mentioned that Matt is a Wammy's kid, this information only being revealed in 'Death Note 13: How to Read'. However, this is crucial knowledge because it conveys the very essence of what makes MellodraMattic so great.

I love Mello, I really do, but he is cruel and selfish, in addition to being arguably one of the most dangerous characters in the series. For those who might relate to him for any of the reasons I have given thus far, it is still important to understand that Mello is not a decent person. He is deeply flawed, and as much as I like to joke that his crimes are perfectly fine actually, I can still appreciate that he is not meant to be regarded as an 'good' character, even if he is on the right side as far as Kira is concerned. His behaviour is very much correlated with his sense of inferiority, so in this case, his identity struggles do not excuse his behaviour, but they can explain it.

Yet, despite all of this, Matt remains by his side, regardless. While there's a general consensus that the two were separated for some time after Mello ran away, they eventually reunite and work together. In these brief moments, we can still gain a good insight into their relationship dynamic from the way they speak to one another. For instance, Matt is cheeky in a manner that the reader would not expect Mello to tolerate. Yet the patience in how he responds to Matt's insolence almost appears uncharacteristic. I am of the belief that Mello is not a highly reactionary character, despite how the series tries to portray him as such, and this calm composure he is capable of can best be seen through his interactions with Matt.

There is a real familiarity between the two men that I don't think is comparable to any other relationship in Death Note. For example, in the image below, Matt is complaining about a task Mello has assigned him, one that isn't exactly difficult, and yet he's already distracted. Rather than get frustrated, a response we would expect from Mello, he answers Matt gently.

I appreciate these moments are few and far between (for fuck's sake, there's only two panels that feature the both of them) but I don't think I'm reading into it too much. I think they're genuinely suited for each other, which is, of course, because Matt was written for Mello. Their chemistry is dependent on the latter canonically.

Matt brings out the more approachable side of Mello because Mello does not see Matt as a threat that he must remain guarded around. If we as readers have become acquainted with Mello through his act of cruelty, albeit as a means of survival, we must assume Matt is familiar with this side of Mello, too. However, it doesn't deter Matt, nor does it scare him. Matt is completely loyal to the very end, and while such writing is perhaps a little superficial, I think it does emphasise the point that Mello has someone who will put his life on the line for him and God, I don't know. I think you have to read that as love to at least some extent.

Mello is a complicated character, with plenty of attributes suggesting that he is queer. This only further contributed to his plot line that centres an identity struggle, which speaks to those who fall outside of cishetnormativity. Unable to reconcile his sense of self with the expectations placed upon him, Mello becomes ruthless. Yet, in spite of these flaws, he has Matt. He represents a kind of hope, I think, that those who connect to Mello through his queerness and subsequent struggles can gravitate towards. A hope that there's someone who will accept every aspect of your identity regardless, that there will be someone you can be yourself around.

To me, MellodraMattic is my favourite ship because I love Mello and Matt, and the way in which they interact with one another. It is also that initial identification with Mello, that makes Matt's character and their relationship more meaningful, an example of the fact that there'll always be someone who not only accepts, but loves you, regardless of the mess.

I think that's beautiful. 🍫🎮

[yoo-jeongneon]

undo every button.. (even if one goes missing) | j.ww

× minors/ageless/empty blogs dni. you will be blocked. ×

pairing: jeon wonwoo x gn!reader

genre: romance

warnings: actor!wonwoo, actor!reader, smut, explicit language, acquaintances-to-lovers, director is an impatient bastard, awkward tension, confessions, flirtatious banter

smut warnings: afab anatomy used, fingering (reader), unprotected oral (both), cum swallowing, pet names (reader: babe, gorgeous, beautiful), quite passionate/intense, skipping sex due to not having a condom

word count: very nearly 4.6k

a/n: this is a one-shot from my old blog that i decided to repost here - let me know what you think, feedback is much appreciated!

× you and wonwoo are actors who have been called upon to star in a steamy music video. the three-day filming period is rather awkward, and things finally snap on the third day.. ×

The camera's eye is so hot on the two of you it could practically burn a hole through your skin.

You stand between Wonwoo's legs, hands on his shoulders, wearing nothing but a white button down and some black underwear. In contrast, Wonwoo is shirtless with the flies of his trousers undone; his hands ghost over your hips, still keeping that barrier between you, his palms growing sweatier by the second.

Wonwoo had been instructed to strip you down, roughly, with as much passion needed to convey the appropriate emotions. He needs to rip open the shirt, exposing nothing underneath, and kiss down the centre of your body.

Of course, with clever editing not much is seen, but the implication needs to be there and more importantly, needs to be clear.

So, the director encourages him, pushing him towards that goal of indicating such fiery intent that it would be obvious that he can't hold back.

Your eyes travel down to him, your mind an absolute mess of emotions when Wonwoo is this close to you. You want nothing more than for Wonwoo to just do it, take everything off and sink his teeth in. Dip his tongue below and ravage you. Pin you down to this very bed and fuck you stupid.

But Wonwoo becomes frozen.

His fingers dance across the space above your hips, unable to bring himself to do what the director has asked of him. He looks askance, gazing down at the floor as his stress levels peak.

Eventually he lowers his hands, resting them on his thighs, and calls for a five minute breather.

You can't help a sigh leaving your lips; a mix of uneasiness and confusion. You can't read Wonwoo's mind, how are you supposed to understand what exactly is going on in it?

Vexed as fuck, wishing the work day would just end, the director mumbles, "Cut.." You step back and sit on the stool by the dressing table, one leg crossed over the other. Standing between you, the director doesn't hide his frustration as he says, "When you're ready, do let us know."

The entire crew leaves the room with him, and once his back is turned, you roll your eyes, loathing how impatient he can be.

When you finally look over at Wonwoo, you realise he hasn't moved a single muscle.

"Um.." you swallow, "are you alright?"

He doesn't look up at you, and instead quietly says, "I don't know.."

There are a thousand gears turning in his head and he wants to throw a wrench in every single one. You watch him from across the room, thirty seconds of silence dissolving into an eternity.

Picking at a stray bit of lint on his trousers, Wonwoo closes his eyes and exhales. You get up and pace around the room, stopping by the window to get a view of the city.

You never realised just how beautiful it looks from this high up. Streetlights twinkle like stars on the roads below, and the distant noise of nightlife is only barely muffled by the glass that separates you.

You fold your arms after a time, shoulders tensing to your ears as you become painfully aware of Wonwoo's presence in the room. For the longest time, you figured if you never had to work in such close proximity to him, the feelings would go away and you could move on with your life.

But life dealt you a daunting card, and now you stand just inches away from the man himself, shirtless and completely unaware of exactly what it took for you to even be in the same room, let alone like this.

Behind you, you catch the faint rustling of sheets. You don't dare look back, choosing to keep your gaze fixed on the world in front of you.

Once Wonwoo reaches the end of the bed, he stands. He takes careful steps towards you, the subtle creaks of the floor beneath his feet an agonising reminder that he's spent too long hoping. Too long wishing. Too long imagining.

Not enough action.

Every centimetre of space lost is truly a test in and of itself. Does Wonwoo stop here and turn away? Does he call it quits with the director and run for the hills?

Or does he recognise the beautiful, smart, headstrong, fearless person who's a master of their craft standing right in front of him.. and actually make something known of this attraction?

By the time he's figured it out, he's standing directly behind you.

Damned if he fucking doesn't.

"N.." he murmurs, and it almost makes you jump. His voice drips beneath the base of your spine and down, and you swallow hard as it sinks in just how close he is. "There's something I need to say.."

Right now, you would very much like the ground beneath you to open a giant wormhole.

You bite down on your bottom lip and can only manage a whisper, "Yeah?"

With a sigh, Wonwoo says it point-blank, "I am so fucking crazy about you."

You suck in a breath. Your knees go completely weak and you have to close your eyes for a few seconds.

He did not just say that.

"And before you ask, no, I'm not lying," he forces a chuckle out, and that's what makes you finally turn around and look at him.

You search his face for some tiny crack in the seam, a sign that he's just messing with you, and that he did not just confess attraction for you while you're standing there yearning for him to turn you inside out.

But there's nothing of the sort. Wonwoo's expression remains wholly sincere. "That's why I've been so.. awkward these past couple of days. When I took on this project, I knew exactly what it entailed. I knew I'd be working with you and.. I genuinely thought I could do it without completely losing it but my feelings for you are just too strong."

Every word he says is just another punch to the gut. You truly had no idea he felt this way about you, but you suppose putting the whole thing into perspective, it makes some semblance of sense, even if it is crazy.

It then becomes apparent that if you don't say anything now, you'll probably never speak again.

"I really genuinely can't believe you just said that," you mutter quite neutrally, looking elsewhere so you don't have to make eye contact with him for more than a second. Wonwoo tugs at the inside of his lip; your remark feels rather blasé, but in your mind it's to circumvent wanting to bury your head in the sand and scream.

You sigh dreamily into the open air, "Because, lord, how am I meant to say this now.."

Wonwoo lifts his head. Say what? He can't help but feel he's just made an awkward situation even more uncomfortable.

"Wonwoo.." you exhale. "You have no idea how I feel about you." When your eyes meet, Wonwoo bites down on his tongue hard. You push your shoulders back, lifting your chin and doing so with purpose. "Because I am immensely insane about you." Before you know it, you can't stop. "And that scene just now, with me standing between your legs, I literally couldn't think, I just wanted you to-" You cut yourself off, and notice Wonwoo's eyes have darkened significantly.

He takes a step closer to the point it's stifling, "Wanted me to do what?" He can't help the vaguest smirk, a certain new confidence washing over him.

You pan down to his chest. You lift a hand, keeping it at a distance until Wonwoo takes it and places it just beneath the collarbone. Beneath it all, you can feel his heart thudding at a ridiculous pace, and you can tell it matches your own.

Wonwoo feels that spark the second your hand is on him. He struggles to keep his composure, wanting to give himself over completely, undo you in ways that have you screaming his name while letting you have your way with him.

The moment you look up into his eyes, your strong gaze bringing you both to the point of no return, Wonwoo knows you're both in for something much longer than a five minute breather.

"Everything the director asked for and more."

Wonwoo gulps. "N?"

"Yes?" you lift a brow.

"..Can I kiss you?"

Your lips tilt up. "Yes."

In an instant, Wonwoo crashes his lips against yours, snaking his arms around your body and pulling you impossibly close. A surprised yelp leaves your throat before you kiss back with just as much vigour, throwing your arms around his shoulders and arching your back into his grasp.

You move in unison to the end of bed and Wonwoo collapses down, placing you back in the position you were in minutes earlier. Thinking back to the director's instruction, Wonwoo rips the shirt open and kisses down the length of your body, tongue lapping over every inch of skin like it's a carnal need.

His mouth is so hot on your otherwise cool skin that you gasp for air, fingers tugging every strand of his locks urging him to go lower.

"Fuck, gorgeous," he groans against your navel, "you are stunning." He wraps his lips around one nipple, thumb teasing the other and a loud moan throttles out of your throat.

"Wonwoo-" You throw your head back at the pleasure coursing through your body as Wonwoo switches.

"What do you need, beautiful?" He doesn't relent, his tongue working hard on the buds until they're both stiff.

"You- fuck, touch me-" you beg, and Wonwoo chuckles as he slips a thumb inside your underwear and rubs circles on your clit. You convulse, twisting in the firm hold he has on your waist with just one hand, thighs already shaking at just a simple touch.

"Jesus, N, so wet for me.." he murmurs. He growls a little as he presses his thumb harder, rubbing faster, watching as you lose all balance and throw yourself forward. You clutch his shoulders and screw your eyes shut, moaning and whimpering as you reach your release. "That's it.."

"Oh- oh- fuck, Won-" You dig your nails into his shoulders and cry out as Wonwoo pushes the fabric aside and massages your folds, the tips of his fingers teasing your entrance. You twitch and contort and clench around nothing, holding on for dear life as Wonwoo sings praise after praise into your ear. "Wonwoo-"

"Yes?" he exhales.

"Please, more-"

"Yeah?" He pushes the tips of his fingers in and stars burst in your vision. "Like that?"

"Yes- ah- fuck-"

Wonwoo chuckles mischievously as he pushes one digit in, gently followed by the second with your permission. He curves his fingers inside, trying to find the spot to make you shriek.

"Ah-" you cry, already on the precipice and struggling to form any coherent thought when his slender fingers are buried. No room for thinking about what those fingers could do anymore when they're making mean work of your insides. "Gonna- fuck- gonna-"

"Go on, beautiful, let go, that's it-" The tips of his fingers just brush that spot, making you melt away into a puddle. "Fuck, so good, so, so good-" he husks, his fingers coated in your wetness. The strain of his cock in his briefs is becoming more and more unbearable and he grunts involuntarily, but remains focused on your pleasure all the while. He speeds up his movements and watches as you shudder in his hold, crying his name as you come undone.

Wonwoo pulls his fingers away, and you nearly fall into his lap; you then take his hand and bring the two digits to his mouth, lips curved upwards in a devilish smirk. Wonwoo gets the hint and drags his lips over the two digits, making a low noise at the back of his throat as he savours your taste.

Cupping his jaw, you capture Wonwoo's lips in another kiss, knee pressed firmly into the mattress just to keep yourself steady. Your tongues move back and forth to the point you can taste yourself, and a tight moan punches out of you.

Wonwoo falls back on the bed. His cock is now so painfully hard he has to cup a hand over it just for some relief.

You break the kiss and look down, seeing the noticeable tent that has formed in his trousers. You run your tongue over your lips and ask, "May I?"

Wonwoo knows exactly what you want to do, and his heart can't stop racing. "Please-" You smirk then push your hand down the open fly in his trousers and stroke softly through the fabric of his briefs. Wonwoo bucks his hips up, jaw tipping open as his eyes close.

With one hand resting on the bed, you up the pace. "Does that feel good?" you breathe into his ear, and Wonwoo wonders if he hasn't just died and gone to heaven.

"So good, fuck.. More, N, please-"

With an idea in mind, you take your hand out, causing Wonwoo to groan at the loss of contact. You chuckle at that, "One second.." You tug at the waistband of his trousers and Wonwoo gets the idea, helping to take them off and throw them aside. Next go his briefs, Wonwoo's hard cock curving upwards to his stomach.

"Holy shit-" you blurt.

Wonwoo smirks, unable to get rid of that mischievous glint in his eye as he watches you wrap a hand firmly around the base. He grunts, rolling his hips upward as you get down on your knees.

Pushing himself up, he watches as you gaze up at him, giving him a wink as you press a kiss to his inner thigh.

The second he realises what you want to do, he swallows. "You sure, N?"

Your eyes flicker up, "Mhm. I wanna make you feel good."

Wonwoo takes a deep breath, "If anything changes, or you wanna stop, grip my hand okay?"

Your heart flutters in your chest, "I will." You press another kiss to his thigh, and Wonwoo's eyes close.

In his own flustered state, he can't stand the teasing.

"N, babe, please-" The pet name is unexpected but definitely not unwelcome. You smile to yourself, heart ricocheting off every part of your body, and slowly bring your mouth to the tip of his leaking cock.

The sound that shudders out of Wonwoo is the guttural cry of a man teetering on the edge. He threads his fingers through your hair, wanting nothing more than for you to take him whole and suck him dry.

"N- fuck-" He pushes his hips up, wanting, needing something more, but you take your time, running your tongue down the underside and back up to the head. "Oh, God-"

With your hand still wrapped around the base, you take the head into your mouth and suck gently. It's absolutely mind-blowing how you could do so little and yet have this effect on him.

You moan subtly, causing tiny vibrations to surge through his body, and he almost falls back on the bed, unable to keep himself upright when everything you're doing below is murderous.

Eventually, Wonwoo finds the resolve to glance down, and you meet him half-way, glazed eyes glimmering against the warm hues of the floor lamp in the corner of the room.

Fuck, he's in trouble. Fuck, he's going to lose it. Fuck, he wants to ruin you.

You steadily take his entire cock in, breathing through the nose as you hollow out. He's fairly big, and the tip hits the back of your throat, but you do not mind one bit.

Wonwoo feels as though he's legitimately glitching out. The warmth of your mouth and the soft swipes of your tongue across every inch of his cock is doing him under in ways he wasn't prepared for.

"Jesus, fuck, N.. God, that feels so good-" You moan weakly at the praise, sending yet another jolt through him. He tightens his grip on your hair ever so slightly, and it only pushes you to work harder. "Fuck, your mouth is, ah-" He rolls his hips up, essentially fucking into your mouth, each push causing another sound to push out of your throat. "God, babe, I'm not gonna last-"

You then grip his hand, and Wonwoo immediately shifts, loosening his grip and giving you room to pull off his cock.

But you don't distance yourself too much, only muttering, "Come for me, I'll take it," before sinking back down.

Wonwoo short-circuits. His breath hitches as you lick at the tip, and he shudders and breaks as he comes hard in your mouth.

You take every last bit, stroking the base of Wonwoo's cock until he eventually stops. You pull back with a smug grin, licking over your lips before getting to your feet.

Wonwoo struggles to breathe as he comes down, groaning loudly into the air above him as he falls back onto the bed. You climb onto the bed and straddle him, and he instantly finds the strength to sit up and ardently tear the shirt off you, throwing it aside before you switch positions.

Wonwoo pins you to the bed, devouring your lips as you wrap your arms around his shoulders. "Fuck, I want you so bad-" he moans between kisses.

You whimper and reach for the waistband of your underwear, trying to push them down before Wonwoo takes the reins and pulls them off, discarding them along with the shirt. You spread your legs wide and Wonwoo can only stare at the glisten of arousal.

"Please-" you beg. "Want your mouth.."

Wonwoo smiles knowingly, then lowers himself until he's level with your clit before pressing a kiss just above. You moan and reach down to grip his hair, which only spurs him on.

He tests the waters with a single lick to the bud. You grab the sheets, your hips flexing up into him, and Wonwoo dives in, steadily, wrapping his lips around the sensitive bud and sucking delicately, choosing to also take his time. He holds onto you thighs and buries his face into your folds, running his tongue up and down the length before working his way back up the clit.

Each new ministration is dangerous. You buck into his mouth helplessly, aching for more of him, fingers locked in his hair as you cry out his name.

Wonwoo claws his fingers into your thighs, trapping himself there, then draws one hand up the length of your body. You grab his hand and hold on, unable to think, speak or function properly in the foggy haze of having exactly what you've dreamed of finally happen.

"Ah- ah-" Very few coherent words can be uttered, the sounds a mix of jumbled letters and strained noises. "Ple- Won- ah.."

Wonwoo understands he's been asked after, and draws back just briefly. "What do you need, babe?" His lips reattach to the clit and he sucks a little more fervently.

"To- Tongue- oh.." You clasp his hand harder as Wonwoo brushes the tip of his tongue against your entrance. "Yes- please-"

Pulling away for a mere second, Wonwoo breathes in his lowest voice, "Let me hear you, babe.. I got you."

Wonwoo plunges into your heat and you spring off the bed. "Fuck- Wonwoo!"

Wonwoo can't help a smile forming as he pushes his tongue deeper inside; that's exactly what he was after.

Your moans turn to heavy panting as Wonwoo laps at the warmth, pushing his tongue in and out before licking one long stripe up the centre and back down again. He devours like a man starved, eyes closed and brows knitted together and revels in every sound you make.

Wonwoo thinks for a brief second that you'll let go of his hand, but when you only tighten your grip, hips stuttering into him with a litany of curses spilling from your mouth, he knows you're close. He wraps his lips around the bud again and hums, and that's what finally throws you over the edge.

It's only then that you let go of his hand, resting the back of it on your forehead as tears sting the back of your eyes.

Wonwoo helps you through it, relaxing his muscles and letting the moment sit for a while. Drawing back, he runs his tongue over his lips and swipes the remains off his chin.

He crawls up the bed until he's eye level, and your eyes - dazed and off-kilter from everything that's just happened - flutter open. You're barely able to take in the sight of Wonwoo hovering above you before you're wrapping a hand around his neck and pulling him down. Wonwoo follows eagerly, kissing so tenderly, and you get another quick taste before Wonwoo is dragging his lips down to your neck.

With one hand on your hip bone, the other keeping himself steady on the pillow, Wonwoo buries his head in the crook of your neck and kisses ardently. You gasp, keening into him as you dig your fingers into his lower back.

Wonwoo grunts then says into you ear, "How did that feel?"

You wish you could form enough comprehensible speech to answer.

Gazing up at him, you reach up to cup his jaw and meekly whisper, "So fucking good, you are.." Wonwoo smiles, heartfelt, and presses a kiss to your forehead. You hum; this proximity is kind of surreal, and you want to bask in this moment forever. "How did-" your eyes flicker down, "that feel?"

Wonwoo gets it immediately. "N, you've got no fucking idea," he laughs, but means it sincerely. "What you did? Insane."

Your eyes find each other, and something stirs in both of you. Wonwoo leans down and presses another kiss to your lips that you return, before you grab his face between your palms and deepen it.

Wonwoo mutters between kisses, "Do you wanna do this?"

"God, yes, please fuck me-" you answer. Wonwoo's heart jumps into his throat, and he goes back to indulging you in kisses.

You both want this so fucking bad, but the second Wonwoo climbs into position, reality hits him and he breaks away.

You stare at him, a little bewildered, but Wonwoo leans down and whispers, "Ain't got a condom."

Your eyes go wide, "Oh, shit."

Wonwoo utters a fuck under his breath and turns to lay on his side next to you. He lets out a chuckle, "Ah, Jesus.."

"And I don't have one either.." you mutter. Wonwoo leans into your side, pressing a kiss to your shoulder with a soft grin on his face.

Both of you are no doubt disappointed, but you have a bit of fun with it.

"Do you think the director would mind if we went and got some?" Wonwoo jokes. You erupt in laughter and nudge him. "Uh, yeah, excuse me, N and I desperately wanna fuck, but no condoms, can we go buy some?"

You laugh harder, and Wonwoo's face lights up at that sound.

That's when you catch yourselves staring at one another again.

This entire situation has changed everything.

Neither of you could deny your feelings, and you had just spent a fair bit of time showing each other exactly how you feel, but now it's come to actually talking about it.

"N, I.." Wonwoo mumbles. "I wanna see you again," he says, outright. "I wanna-" He cuts himself off at the sight of your glazed, beautiful eyes. He swallows the lump in his throat and continues, "I wanna be with you."

You bite your bottom lip then sigh, "I want that too."

Wonwoo's shoulders tense. He gathers up whatever's left of his courage and asks, "Would you.. like to come to my place? Say, this Friday?"

A warm smile trickles onto your face, "I would love that."

He mirrors your expression, then leans down to kiss you again. You stay like that until a thought pops into your head. "Do you think the director has caught onto what we've been doing?"

Wonwoo pulls away and hums. "Well if he hasn't yet, then-" As if on cue, a knock at the door. "Ah." Caught off guard, you throw your head back in laughter.

On the other side of the door, a now infuriated director huffs and shouts, "Are you two done with your five minute breather?"

Wonwoo nestles close to you, "It would be rude to ask for five more minutes, wouldn't it?"

You hit his shoulder lightly, "Wonwoo!" He chuckles before meeting your lips again, your smiles turning into another intense kiss as Wonwoo runs his hand down the side of your body and raises your leg up. Your chest tightens at the sensation, a soft whimper leaving the back of your throat.

..It would be rude to ask for five more minutes.

Another loud knock interrupts them, and you finally break away with a sigh. "We probably shouldn't keep them waiting," you admit.

Wonwoo eventually agrees, slightly peeved but nonetheless understanding. "One second!" he yells out to the director.

You sit up first, leaving him to lie on his back and stare at the ceiling just to process this. You titter at the mess around you of bunched up clothes in tiny piles at the foot and the side of the bed, then reach forward to grab the shirt so you can put it back on.

With six buttons done up, you go to do the seventh, when you notice something out of the ordinary. Your brows furrow as your thumb recognises no plastic to hold onto, and when you look down and inspect further, you snort and cover your face.

Wonwoo catches this and lifts a brow, "What's up?"

"Come here," you beckon him over. He sits up and pushes himself down the length of the bed, pecking your shoulder once more before resting his chin on it. "So.. you know they talk about blurring the lines between what is and what isn't acting?" He hums affirmatively. You alert him to what you found and he stares at it. "Does a missing button fall under that?"

It takes him two seconds, but then, "Oh, shit-"

You laugh as Wonwoo launches off the bed in a desperate search for this missing button. He stops to throw his briefs back on, then kneels on the floor to check under the bed. You do the same with your underwear then lean over to where he's searching. "Any luck?"

"No.. and both our phones are in our rooms so we don't have a torch." He runs a hand through his hair and sighs. "Did I really rip the shirt open so hard a button flew off?"

"Ah, I think it's alright." He looks up at you. "If they do notice a torn off button, well that's all part of the act, isn't it?" you wink, leaning close to him.

Wonwoo freezes in place; another knock makes him jump, and he steals a kiss before moving to put his trousers back on. You make yourself comfortable at the end of the bed while Wonwoo heads for the door to open it.

The director storms in and stops between the two of you.

"So-" he starts, "are we now a bit more prepared to film this scene?"

You suppress a smile by biting down on your lip, and Wonwoo can't help a smirk as he looks at you and answers the query.

"Definitely.. though we may have a missing button."

× yoo-jeongneon ×

[rahuratna]

girl i’m gonna be honest with you...i was never a nanami girl before i discovered your headcanons (fic) about him. like i didn’t dislike him, he just never really stood out to me, but now i totally see him in a different light 🫶 i love the way you write him! gege should’ve let you write his character because you would’ve done him JUSTICE for sure. i feel like we just didn’t get to see much of who he is as a character. plus, a lot of people mischaracterize him to the point that i’m like “did we watch the same anime?”. but i’m so so so happy i found your blog 😽 my eyes have been opened, doors have been opened, i’ve been enlightened, in fact i think i’m a nanami stan now. you’re out here doing what should’ve been done for this wonderful man all along. 🩵

Wow, this is very high praise indeed 🙈💛💛🧡🧡 I mean, if I've made you a Nanami stan when his character didn't really stand out to you before ... mission accomplished!

I think that Gege wrote Nanami's character and his arc with the kind of bleak, stark realism that is very appropriate to who he is. While I wish I could create characters that are so well-conceived, like you, I wish there was more we could see of the characters like Nanami. I wish we could see more interactions, every day life, the little things that add that extra dimension to them.

Since we can't ... we have fanfiction! And I intend to make FULL use of that to continue to try and paint a portrait of this man, even if im just projecting some of my headcanons on him 😂

I originally wrote this HC fic to try to convey my thoughts on what a romance with Nanami would be like, the way he'd fall in love, and the way he might behave when in love. Somewhere along the way, my story took on a life of its own (as they do) and it began to take the form of a small character study as well.

I'm also trying to explore his flaws, his insecurities, the way having the right partner might draw him out of his shell, help him heal, allow him to finally appreciate himself as a wonderful human being through their eyes. A man, not perfect, but a good man who just wanted a simple life in a just world.

I'm so glad you like what I've written and that it's showcased this other potential side to his character. I hope to continue writing work that you enjoy, because that gives me joy 🥰

[zantia10]

Hanzo Hasashi x reader

Mortal Kombat

Warning: I use a translator, English is not my first language.

reading it is not that difficult, but writing it is😭

The sun shone announcing a new day, outside the great master's home the gardens of fire showed their beauty. Such a scenario almost seemed unreal, Hanzo allowed himself a moment to look around him, the anger, hatred and thirst for revenge that once held him prisoner, making him unhappy, had now been considerably reduced, only in the depths of his soul he He found the pain of loss, but he could not continue to be haunted by a past that he could not change.

Getting to where he now was was difficult, after being submerged in misery, finding the right direction in his life seemed almost impossible, but now as the crimson leaves swayed from the trees his face relaxed.

He had managed to restore his clan.

A few delicate steps behind him made him come out of his musings, he calmly faced the female figure that was a few steps away from him.

It was you, his beloved

The crimson leaves falling from the trees seemed to encircle you in a slow dance in the wind under the blazing sun, Hanzo watched your breathless features, your beauty rivaling gardens of fire. He could see a slight smile grow on your face, the look you gave him made his heart beat faster, knowing perfectly well what that expression on your face was trying to convey.

Love, pure, sincere and unconditional love.

He watched you shorten the distance, nailing your orbs into his, your hands took his face for a few seconds, giving him delicate caresses before pulling them away, it was a short contact that left him yearning for more. Being deprived of any feelings and affection like the one he now experienced, it was impossible for him not to find himself yearning for your delicate touch.

However, he appreciated your actions and the respect you had in the face of his refusal to show affection in public. Even if he was left wanting more it was more appropriate to do it behind closed doors, where no one from the clan or from outside could watch the grandmaster display one of his weaknesses.

He couldn't bear to lose you too.

Being able to read the expression on his face, you let out a few words to reassure him. Hanzo was a man who had been through a lot and deserved to be happy free of that constant fear.

—I will always be with you—those words came out in a whisper, comforting the worried-looking man—No matter what happens, even if death comes to separate us, I promise we will meet again.

Hanzo used all his self-control not to hug you, the mere mention of your death caused him an unpleasant feeling but trusting your words, he hoped with all his heart that life would fulfill his wish and unite their paths if either of us came to be missing in the life of the other.

Spanish version

[rena-rain]

Reacting to Migration

I did already hear some spoilers for this episode...wish I hadn't...

This boy is just everyone's therapist, huh?

"I don't know what I'd do without you" - gee, I wonder if this is foreshadowing something

NO. RICH CEOS ARE THE EXCEPTION TO THE GIVE PEOPLE A CHANCE RULE. DO NOT GET INTO A LEGALLY BINDING CONTRACT WITH THAT MAN

Yep. Not thirty seconds later.

Nonononono, baby boy, it's not your fault, you're fourteen and the corporate shill tricked you!

Now that Monarch knows that Luka knows, he's going to have a constant target on his back. That...is no way to live. Where is he going to go?

Oh ew. Now that is a villain design that appropriately conveys how skeezy this dude is.

The backpedaling on the gayness is so frustrating...but if it's the only way they were able to get it in, then I appreciate it

He loves the ducky record. That is too funny, I can't breathe -

That's about as perfectly a "reveal" as it could have gone. Did that sentence make sense?

I'm totally with Luka. Juleka's record was AWESOME.

It's Penny. Penny's the adult supervision.

"Well from now on, my family will be my only guitar." It's so corny, I love it

[quickdeaths]

@more-than-a-princess

With the person she was intending to meet running late, Shinobu sat upon the bench at the train station, waiting. Too often did loitering in a public place seem to others as an invitation to approach her with confessions or date requests, so looking occupied was a (mostly ineffective) attempt to stave off such behavior. In this instance, they held their phone in their hands, trying to determine what sort of message might be appropriate for the situation at hand. For now, at least, she recognized the importance of composing the message in full before ever typing, rather than subject the recipient to the endless triple dots should she happen to be looking.

[Yaguchi]: Miss Nevermind, I wanted to express my appreciation for the chocolates you sent me the other day. They were both thoughtful and delicious. [Yaguchi]: I regret that I couldn't see you on the day in question, but as you may have heard, there was a certain unpleasant incident that kept me rather occupied well into the evening. [Yaguchi]: I'd hoped to see you and convey my appreciation in person later, but it seems it's been quite the busy week for both of us. [Yaguchi]: Ideally, I'll be able to meet with you and Anzu later tonight, but in the event that it's impossible for me to do so, I wanted to speak with you before the distance between then and now became too great, and I appeared ungrateful. [Yaguchi]: In any event, I wish you and Anzu a pleasant evening.

The message was regrettably long, but there wasn't much Shinobu could do about it. There were enough things that warranted mentioning that it simply required a series of messages. Still, even after saying that much, Shinobu wondered if there was yet more to say. "Shinobu-san!" The introspective moment was broken by the sound of a familiar voice. It seemed there would be no time for further messaging, with Shinobu looking up from her phone to see the person she was meeting disembarking from the train. "I hope you weren't waiting for me long. Are you ready to go?"

"Girls' night!" Anzu declared with a small laugh, walking behind her new friend with a cheery, carefree expression. "I'm glad we could do this, Sonia-san. It's gonna be so much fun!" With the majority of her friend group being 'old people who worked at the theater' and 'Shinobu-chan exactly,' it wasn't like there were many people who would come with her to a host club, or really anywhere she liked to go. She really enjoyed the nightlife, and while there was a limit to the kind of messy fun she could get into when accompanied by Sonia, whose reputation was important enough to be worth protecting, it was still nice to have a friend around.

As they approached the club, Anzu pointed out the sign, a large, fancy, silver banner over the entrance that read SHOOTING STARS in English, with NAGAREBOSHI in smaller kanji between the two words. A moderately classy display beside the door featured the establishment's social media accounts, testimonials from local entertainment figures (including, perhaps, a certain Kohaku Goto XII herself) and headshots of the most popular hosts. It was the photographs in particular that most drew Anzu's attention.

"That's one of our classmates in 77-B," she explained, pointing to the only woman among the hosts, a handsome girl with short blue hair and a classy vest over a short-sleeved button-up shirt. "Rui-kun! She's the Ultimate Host." How exactly an underage girl had won that title two years ago, Anzu wasn't sure, and wasn't going to question. In a lot of cases, HPA students were just that exceptional, to the point where normal rules didn't seem to apply to them. Or maybe it was the case that rather than the 'talent' that everyone talked so much about, the core of being a Hope's Peak Academy student was more about 'going so far as to accept no obstacles in the way of one's dreams.' Or not. Anzu wasn't smart enough to think about those kinds of questions.

"She and Shinobu-chan don't really get along, but she's not a bad person," Anzu explained, taking one last look towards the display before leading her friend into the club. Shinobu didn't get along with most people, so Anzu didn't necessarily think of it as a disqualifying factor. The club's interior was cleaner and more presentable than many others of its kind, not that Sonia might have much to compare it to. Rather than the neon pinks or sultry reds of a lot of clubs, Shooting Stars kept a comfortably mellow blue aesthetic, paired with classy blacks and clean whites. Comfortable plush booths surrounded small, round tables that nearly sparkled, the ceilings dotted with perhaps too many chandeliers. A presently-unused stage sat in the back of club, and at this early hour, only a few seats were filled with women in dresses or businesswear, some looking like they may have come straight from the office. The working men, similarly, presented a fairly unified image - nice clothes, trendy haircuts, far more jewelry than most men.

Standing at the front of house was an older man by the standards of the district, likely around 30, with glasses, a dark suit, white gloves, dark hair pulled back into a short ponytail. "Welcome, treasured guests, to Shooting Stars," he said with a smile and a polite nod, first to Sonia, then to Anzu. "Anzu-san, it's been too long. Thank you for thinking of us, and bringing a friend." Anzu nodded, beaming. "Hey, Monsieur. I have an appointment tonight, with Rui-kun." At that, the man's smile faltered only a bit. "Ah... I'm afraid your prince is in another castle." That the actress showed no reaction to the reference seemed to dampen his spirits. "Er... Rui-san is, unfortunately, out tonight." He leaned in, speaking more quietly. "Her younger siblings are ill, and she seemed concerned about them. I sent her home, rather than have her worry all night."

Anzu frowned. "Oh... Well, I guess that's a good reason." The man straightened back up. "I'm sorry for you and your friend to have come all this way, but if you'd like to stay, I'm happy to offer you a small discount?" He motioned towards one of the nicer-looking open booths. "If the two of you would like to take a seat, I'll join you in a moment to figure out what we can do for you instead." Disappointed though she was at Rui not being there, Anzu nodded. "Alright. Thanks, Monsieur." Leading Sonia towards the offered booth, she sighed. "Sorry, Sonia-san. I wanted you to meet Rui-kun, but I guess she's not here tonight. Did you think any of the guys on the display were especially hotsexy?"

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hi mbti-notes, an INTP here. Lately I have encountered a situation which I couldn’t determine whether it is Ne indulgence and I lose track of my introverted functions or if there are other issues behind the surface. I think it would be better to receive some comment on it and I wish you could help.

I have been concentrating myself on academic results more than I used to, I think it is partly out of the urge to strive for a better future, another part of it is that I feel like I cannot fall behind my classmates as I don’t want to seem incompetent to the people around me. This idea grew stronger after my mother claimed that I would end up being a useless member of society because I didn’t have a “proper” attitude towards my academic results. I could be taking her words too seriously but I keep thinking I should prove her wrong. When there’s a task I could mimic an unhealthy ENTJ unconsciously and temporarily. I become hasty, impatient, judgemental, I overlook details so I can get thing done within the least possible amount of time, shut away the monologue I always have in my mind to focus on what I’m doing, disregard others’ opinion because I think my idea is the best. I read theories that a person could act like their shadow when they are stressful, it seems like what I experienced.

At the same time, I spent a lot of energy on socialising with my classmates. I enjoy it at some point, they are interesting people and I think I should pay more attention to them, but when I got time to reflect alone afterwards, I feel fatigued by all the social interactions. After I returned home, all that I am left with is tiredness and I don’t want to speak with anyone anymore, every single sound I hear could frustrate me even if they are simply words of care. I feel a need for rest, but when I do rest I binge watch repetitive Mary Sue stories that pop up on my social media feeds. I know they do not convey deeper meanings, but I am becoming addicted to these meaningless stories that do not require any true thoughts to process and I could shut down my mind.

I believed I maintained a good work-life balance, and this is a good way of life I should continue, but now as I took advice from my friend and spend time on long novels I could truly enter a flow state within, I think I actually overemphasised on external validation and failed to see what I really needed. Returning to the original question, it seemed like I was escaping reality with unhealthy Ne that keeps me wasting time on unproductive things, exploiting my energy to seek out ‘new’ information that are actually repetitive and superficial, forcing myself to open up Fe even when I actually wanted space for myself; but I am not entirely sure about my statement. Thanks for your time and effort, any insights that could be drawn from it are appreciated.

-----------------------

Generally speaking, if you believe you're experiencing Fe grip in part because of misusing Ne, then you ought to develop Ne and learn to use it more appropriately, consult the Type Dev Guide.

It seems you are always being pulled around by things outside you, such as your mother, your friends, or those mary sue stories. What does that mean? Perhaps it means you have little substance and you use those things as a poor substitute. You are like a leaf being blown around by the wind, with no control over where you go.

The remedy to being driven only by extrinsic factors is to nurture intrinsic motivation. Who are you really? What do you really want out of life? What are your values? What do you stand for? What do you have to offer? What about you matters? What greater aspirations or ideals do you commit yourself to? If you can't answer any of these questions, it means you haven't gotten very far in development and, as a result, don't have any meaningful direction or purpose in life. When you have no real identity as a person, how can you be anything but an easy victim of circumstance?

If you want to take more control over life and have a better sense of direction, then start by committing yourself to more meaningful activities, especially activities that would allow you to make the best use of the gifts you've been granted. Yes, there is a difference between "rest" and "escape". You speak as though you have no control over those repetitive activities, but you made the choice to do them, and you're now starting to realize that the "reward" is actually harmful to you. You could choose better activities instead. To realize more of your potential and grow as a person often involves giving up immediate gratification for a greater goal and making tough decisions about how best to spend your time.

[tijuanabiblestudies]

... why did a butch chew your face at the club?

*deep breath* OK SO

i am 19 years old and a freshman in college. my egg is not even lightly chipped at this point; for all intents and purposes i am a girl. it is a friday night and i am sitting at my dorm room desk, probably on livejournal. my roommate comes in and says "hey [deadname]! wanna come to [local nightclub]? it's gay night!"

(during my girl years, i largely identified as bisexual. my roommate, a straight girl, knew this, hence the invitation.)

"sure," i say, "what the hell," and proceed to doll myself up for a night on the town. my outfit is perhaps not strictly relevant to the tale but i am going to describe it anyway. from bottom to top, i am wearing:

knee-high silver boots

black fishnet stockings

black miniskirt

red-on-black My Chemical Romance off-the-shoulder top (Revenge era; iirc it had some cool art of a graveyard on it)

on the face: black eyeliner, red lipstick

and to top it all off: red-on-black pinstriped fedora. or trilby, i guess, if you want to be pedantic, but everyone at the time called them fedoras.

thusly prepared, i join my roommate and several others from our dorm and we pile onto a bus and head downtown. we get to the club. the music is bad, but i start dancing anyway. as i do, i notice a butch gal standing on the edge of the dance floor, looking at me. i look back, make eye contact, smile a little bit. i am not expecting anything in particular to come of this. clubbing etiquette is unfamiliar to me.

the next thing i know, she is RIGHT up on me. bumping and grinding ensue, followed in short order by kissing. rather intense kissing, in fact. by which i mean she is biting me, repeatedly and not at all gently. lips, neck, collarbones--pretty much everywhere above the tits seems to be fair game. bite bite bite.

i...have no idea how to handle this situation. in retrospect, the solution seems obvious: use words and/or body language to convey that i am not fond of what is happening and would like it to stop please.

i do not do this. my entire brain freezes up like the proverbial deer in headlights and i just sort of accept my new life as a chew toy.

it goes on for a while. time loses all meaning. i have long since lost track of the people i came with. i am vaguely aware that straight men (it's "gay night" at a club in a college town, of course it's lousy with straight tourists) are appreciatively watching me get eaten alive. my, uh..."dance partner" (neither of us is even pretending to move to the music) speaks to me a few times; at one point, she laughingly says "you're so serious!" and i have less than no fucking idea how to respond. at other points, i can't hear her over the music and just sort of make what i hope are appropriate faces and/or noises. all the while, the biting continues. it hurts rather a lot.

finally, finally, 2am rolls around and the club prepares to close. my masticator mercifully releases me. i do not even bother trying to find my roommate et al. i retrieve my coat from the coat check and get the fuck out of dodge.

it being late, the buses have stopped running. i have no way of getting back to my dorm short of a long hike, and these boots were not made for walkin'. it is cold and i am tired. i find an unlocked door in a university lecture hall and sleep on a bench inside, for some value of "sleep."

after sunrise, i head back to the bus stop. in is now the weekend, so the buses don't start running until later, but luckily there is a girl at the bus stop who is also trying to get to the same general area as i am, and she calls a cab and lets me share it with her.

when i get back to my dorm and check myself out in the mirror, i find that i am covered in bite marks. remember the red lipstick i had on? it's gone now. my lips, instead, are purple.

i wish i could end this with a moral about underage drinking, but i was stone cold sober the entire time.

[star-ar512]

if you don't mind tell me about this signalis i know nothing but your reblogs have me fascinated

hell yeah, for sure i don't mind. SIGNALIS is definitely a game that deserves recognition and i'll be perfectly happy to spread the word.

took my sweet time with this because i was debating whether include spoilers or not, and ultimately decided to not include them for the sake of new players.

not like they'd immediately ruin the whole story, as it is remarkably complex and many people who completed the game more than once claim to have needed to look up information to properly understand it.

so, i have not quite 100%'d the game yet, even if we're approaching that status; still, this game makes you want to play it again.

reasons why SIGNALIS is worthy of praise:

- stunning visuals. from the "basic" isometric 2.5D gameplay to the carefully crafted cutscenes; not to talk about the animations and the other scenes in the game that aren't 2.5D. there's a level of detail which is surprising.

the art is so "appropriate"? i can't convey properly how much i love the art.

- the intro. SIGNALIS' intro has to be the raddest and most breathtaking intro a game can have. it managed to overwhelm me even before the game properly began.

- this game includes a fuckton of secrets, only one playthrough is not enough to find them all.

also playing it more than once makes you appreciate what you thought was not worthy of attention or only caused you confusion.

- the game fucks with you. more than once. not elaborating on this, or it'll ruin the surprise(s)

- the game fucks you up and changes your brain chemistry!!! try to not cry every day after completing SIGNALIS challenge (failed).

- the soundtrack is incredible. definitely worth the $8 on bandcamp (hours and hours of your brain getting wrecked and repeatedly hit with an active stun prod. worth the exchange)

jokes aside, each single piece is extraordinarily fitting to each instance it is used in.

- the story is packed with raw fucking emotion. it can and will leave you bewildered more than once, especially during the first time you'll play it. then you'll just cry the next times

- the gameplay is so good??? like holy shit. it is rightfully challenging, but not impossible without a guide. i'd advise against using one, because you can progress fairly easily with your own brainpower; also it feels way more satisfying once you get what you have to do.

if you're familiar with these kinda horror games, they often make you feel like you're perfectly alone and that adds to the spooky ambiance. in this case, i felt like we were a little less alone, thanks to [this space intentionally left blank].

i got so "nostalgic" at like halfway i wanted to begin the game anew. this has never happened with any other game

- the care about every detail. at first, you'll probably think "yeah this is all disconnected"; but then...everything pieces together perfectly

- the intentionally left to interpretation story. some things are clear, many others aren't. that's the charm of the story, so many theories can be made about it.

when i first finished the game i was like "what? what the fuck? h huh??? bruuhhhhh"

it was clear everything wasn't. i didn't understand shit and it was so beautiful -> brings you to play the game again (2)

- women. robot women everywhere. robot women with abs and neck armor. robot women with guns. (also no feet!!!! for some reason that makes me feel comfortable)

robot women with deep voices and big hands.

extremely tall robot women.

robot women with broad shoulders and red eyeliner.

robot women with an undercut.

do you really have to wish for anything else?

- the protagonist is fucking crazyyyy?????? i love elster so much she's so hot and handsome and gay and sillyyy and done for. definitely one of the best main characters ever. no backing away until [redacted]

- as you probably could notice from all the fanart, this game relies heavily on lesbians. not saying anything else about this

i think this is enough. i don't think i can say more without entering the spoiler zone.

treat yourself and spend $10-15 (no, don't wait for a sale. this game is worth every single penny and more) on one of the best games on the steam/ps/xbox/nintendo store.

oh, also the physical release has a surprise, so if you come across one, definitely grab it

hope this was enough to introduce you to SIGNALIS! and hopefully made you want to try the game because it messed with my brain soooo bad (in a good way) ouughfhghhhhh

[inventors-fair]

They Might Be - The Next Big Thing Winners

Huge round of applause for our winners this week: @batatafilosofal, @helloijustreadyourpost, and @i-am-the-one-who-wololoes!

Whalefall - @batatafilosofal Yep, that's definitely a Whalefall. I love how this simultaneously encourages you to have a large creature as well as a wide board. The template is Interesting, definitely functional, and perfectly fine for paper, but I do worry about it being tedious to use for online players, as you would need to input the value of X before sacrificing the appropriate creature and that's probably going to be a lot of clicking. As such, I would probably advocate just not using the word 'target' in the first place here, and just declare the value of X in the effect rather than the cost. All that said this design is delightful and a very clean exploration of the prompt.

Overwhelming Arrival - @helloijustreadyourpost I love this one for how nicely it flavorfully conveys the magnitude of its chosen batch of sea beasties. Part of me wishes you could've gotten away with not having the mana value constraint, but I know that could get way too overbearing if you happen to find just enough cheap sea monsters or changelings to trigger it with. As is, it's still quite powerful and definitely a nice and flavorful motivation to play a lot of big squiddy things. Not much more to say honestly, delightful work.

Biology Fair - @i-am-the-one-who-wololoes In a format absent absurd colorless tentacle monsters, this card is absolutely fascinating. I love how you've taken Show and Tell and added an element of doubt into the process of creature selection, both for you and your opponent. Ordinarily these kinds of effects resolve rather quickly, with each player unceremoniously dumping the largest thing in their hand. But that tiny little extra clause at the end just adds so many delightful little mind games to this well-established formula that I can't help but appreciate it. Perhaps your opponent will feel inclined to play a more conservatively sized creature, just to avoid allowing you a freebie. But then what if you have something larger than they have? Or, even worse, what if you don't even have a second creature? Perhaps it won't play out as Princess-Bride-Battle-Of-Wits-Scene as I'm imagining, but the opportunity is there and I absolutely love that.

(I apologise for these being So Late, I caught something unpleasant earlier this week and it's been taking basically all of my energy, and it is a bit difficult to get any writing momentum when one keeps passing out)

[groggydog]

IF Comp Reviews Part 2

(Continued from Part 1, my micro-reviews of games I've played in IF Comp 2022.)

Glimmer by Katie Benson

I find it difficult to review games that are so obviously either personal re-tellings or blatantly about mental health. Of course there are mechanics and form to criticize, but how can I criticize a person's (potentially) lived experience?

I'm lucky in that I merely have a generalized anxiety disorder. I've never been diagnosed with depression. But I have had depressive holes consume me for small periods of time, and so I resonate with the direction this piece takes.

"The spiral is so powerful," the game says. And I know that feeling well. The game's tagline says "It's bleak out there," and I agree. Emotionally, this pieces conveys a very clear message that I understand and sympathize with. At its core, the game works.

In terms of formatting, the mid-sentence clickable words were a nice added touch, but because of the way they altered or added onto sentences, it felt jarring. Structurally I think it would make more sense if there was a way to differentiate the new text, or have it add on to the end.

But the simplicity of the rest of it is almost certainly part of the point, and I have no problem with the general lack of aesthetic.

There seems to be one essential path with only the slightest of deviations to the text depending on your choices. And I think that that's the "Glimmer" of the game's title. It's nice to think of a world where it doesn't matter what you choose - there's always someone there for you, anyway.

And I appreciate that, in IF at least, there is space for small games about big feelings.

Elvish for Goodbye by David Gurcay-Morris

While a good title is certainly not a pre-requisite for a good game, I have to say this title quickly caught my attention. It's fantastical and moody in just three words.

Aesthetically, I found the grey text hard to read on both the black and white themes. I wish it had been a bit clearer, and that the bright goldenrod of the choice text had been a bit subdued. Nitpicky as always, but I have bad eyes and there was a lot reading to be done.

This game has an immediate tenor that just screams bohemia in both good and bad ways. I think it captures that spirit quite well. Folklorika Teahouse and Vegetarian Satay Lounge, for instance, is a fantastic name for an establishment, and the game's various settings felt tonally appropriate. But there were many other places where I wish the text had just been edited down a bit more before release. There are the occasional odd turns of phrase which may be down to any number of totally reasonable factors ("I achieved my current height during my twelfth year" being one that I remembered) that normally wouldn't bother me, but this piece seems to set out to be very lyrical and poetic, and so these things count. (As an aside, the author's use of the word "logograms" makes me wonder if they, too, have recently read Ken Liu's fantastic Dandelion Dynasty series.)

Here is what I think this game is: a genuinely wonderful achievement in world-building, especially with regards to how language conveys meaning. The author has clear intelligence and wit, and the text of the story felt unlike the vast majority of "fantasy" IF that I've experienced recently. On that merit alone I think the game is worth spending time with. I believe the author delivered on the promised premise.

However, I frequently felt that the language of the game got in the way. It just felt a bit like it was being too smart for its own good, or perhaps trying too hard to sound smart. I found it funny that, as I went on, I was able to respond in ways like rolling my eyes, or suppressing a yawn. Because the shame of all of that is that I think it is a really smart game in a lot of unique ways, and it didn't need to use such florid language to convey that. With perhaps a bit more self-editing or another trained eye, I think it could have achieved that delicate tightrope walk a bit better.

Use Your Psychic Powers at Applebee's by Geoffrey Golden

What a wild swing I've taken in reviewing these three games. This final entry is a brief, quirky, choice-based game that had me genuinely laughing more often than not. (The first laugh I got was my second mind-reading session, where a boy is earnestly weighing the pros and cons of the Kool-Aid Man taking on Garfield.)

There's something about the premise of the story that was just absurd enough to draw me in, and I think it delivered wonderfully on the mundanity and trite nonsense of a future where mind-reading is possible and it's used solely to promote Schtupmeister.

Interactive fiction comes in all shapes in sizes, and I'm glad that bite-sized games with high replayability value like this exist.

Now please excuse me while I grab a cold Schtup and watch Turbonator take on Skullcrush in Duncanville.

[mylahrins]

forget-me-nots, 02.

dear club vice president,

hello! yes, i know who you are. we had english together in our first year, you sat next to my friend hotaru! since you’d always eat in a different room, i’d always borrow your seat during lunch to sit next to her. we hardly spoke to each other, but you’ve always given off the energy of someone who’s passionate and works hard! i wish you lots of luck with the tournament! 

it’s great to hear about kiyoko being so involved with her club! i’m not really close to her, but we’ve talked a few times. i’d be happy to provide a bouquet for her, don’t worry about paying or cutting any deals! we’re just a gardening club after all.

as for the bouquet, i would recommend an arrangement of blue hydrangeas, white tulips, and white wax flowers. the blue hydrangeas would be the focal point of the bouquet, symbolizing the deep gratitude towards her. the tulips would be a supporting flower in the bouquet, symbolizing the team’s respect for her. it’s also a way of saying “good luck” to the start of the new volleyball season! wax flowers are a filler flower, intended to add volume to the look, but that's not to say they don't hold importance as well! when added to bouquets, they convey good luck and lasting success. truthfully speaking, i don't actually make big bouquets that often, but since this is kiyoko, we should give her the very best! don’t you think?

that flower arrangement is my own suggestion, but the bouquet is welcome to be changed. feel free to down to our club room (room 1-8!), you can find me there afterschool. i might also be outside in the courtyard checking on the plants, but don’t hesitate to come up to me to talk or ask questions! please do visit before your tournament so we can discuss and get your bouquet arranged, i can get it done anytime. i appreciate you reaching out sugawara, you’re very thoughtful!

with care, y/n

p.s. yes, tanaka is an old family friend of mine. he was no problem, and was very excited to give me your letter!

about the flowers!

➤ blue hydrangeas: like many others, these flowers have multiple meanings! in the past, they were sometimes associated with apologies, rejection, and regrets. recently, however, blue hydrangeas have been found to be associated with feelings of gratitude and appreciation. there are many other flowers which could represent gratitude like orchids or yellow lilies—but i felt as if hydrangeas fit best! (also they're my favorite flower hehe)

➤ white tulips: so, white tulips range a lot when it comes to symbolism. in this case, they symbolize respect and honor. white tulips are often also associated with hope and new beginnings, so i figured it'd be appropriate as this is the start of new volleyball season with karasuno's new team!!

➤ white chamelaucium/wax flowers: originally, i was going to use baby's breath in the kiyoko bouquet, but i felt like that was too overdone and romantic. while wax flowers are commonly used in wedding bouquets, they most often represent good luck, happy memories, and new beginnings (similar to the white tulips). while it may be interpretated as romantic as well, in the case of kiyoko's bouquet, i deem it as a way to convey genuine appreciation rather than romantic feelings.

masterlist | next | back

a/n: so i've decided that im going to be making an "about the flowers!" listing w/ every chapter that mentions a flower species. if you do read them, just expect general facts about the flower's meaning/symbolism!! this is mainly for myself LOL so don't feel bad or pressured to read them. btw, if any of the info you see in those listings is wrong, PLEAAAASE let me know, i will fix it. anyways, thanks for reading the first chapters/letters of forget-me-nots. i'm excited to show you guys what else i have planned!!

taglist: @yenonnoff @softpia @ryeyeyer @shoyosh @wqnsho

taglist form

[straykidsblurbs]

Haiiiiiiii it’s been a while…

Long time no see! I haven’t been on tumblr in seemingly eons. Wow. Life has changed a lot since then, probably for all of us. You angels that followed my blog, for one blurb or all, I hope you know how much you mean to me. You all were genuinely my angels and you still are. I wouldn’t be standing if I didn’t have this outlet and support during that time. Y’all made me happy and gave me purpose, a single “<3” made my world burst with vibrant energy. You angels made me value my writing skills, something I’ve always loved. Even still, this far in the future I can’t fully express my gratitude to the proper degree of my intent. Though most, or possibly all, of these accounts could be inactive, maybe you’ll randomly find a password like I did and log back in too.

THANK YOU ALL, MY SHINING ANGELS<3

Looking back, I feel really bad for a lot of the personal rants posted on this page. I will not delete them as it feels offensive to that wounded version of myself to do so. I put a lot of care and emotion into those words. I was in the worst time in my life and writing these silly, sweet and sexy little stories about the people we all love so much really helped me coast over the toughest terrain, mostly unscathed and at ease. I abandoned this blog and all of tumblr after I was released from the hospital for my third and final time. I survived, well obviously. Anyway, I’ll spare you the details.

I can’t seem to find the proper words to convey my emotions. It made me happy to be of service to you. Even if it just made your heart beat a little faster or if you loved my work or you just happened the scroll by one day, I felt purposeful. I made you angels happy by simply sharing a common interest and using my coping mechanism to aid your late night online ventures. The thought that even a single person, let alone 1000 people saw my work and said “that’s worth keeping tabs on”. Well, it gave me strength during the most trying period I’ve faced. Thank you. Thank. You. I’m serious and overwhelmed with old feelings from this era of my life, this blog as a whole. So let me say it again and I hope you understand my emotional intent. Thank. You. You have no clue what you’ve done for me. I have deep, deep love for each of you. You. I can only beg the skies to grace you in the ways you have graced me.

Please be well and if you’re struggling, try to let even the smallest of kind words or appreciation sink in. It saved my life. You’re worth effort, admiration and each and every star in the night sky. You deserve to pick a star to keep, to hold as your own without lifting a single one of your beautiful fingers. For a giant band of people to say “as you wish.” No questions asked. For them to travel to that star’s most powerful burning point in time, and pluck the star with their bare hands from the void like it’s a juicy fruit from a blossoming tree in the infinite unknown. Don’t sell yourself short. I love you all, my sweet darling angels. I have appropriately named my little collection of lovely beings. Stay safe. <3

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- (A/N) (First off I miss authors notes) I’m am almost 3 years clean from self harm and happily married to the most amazing, thoughtful and handsome man. An army man yum! Don’t get me started on him! (He puts these little stories I created to genuine shame, iykyk.)

[soonparisblog]

Express Your Love: New Year Wishes Ideas for Your Girlfriend

One of the greatest joys of greeting the New Year is the chance it offers to express heartfelt feelings to those we hold dear. For those looking to narrate their affection in a memorable way, you may be considering how to craft profound New Year wishes for your girlfriend. After all, a thoughtful, loving wish can go a long way towards lighting up your loved one's face as you both embark on a brand new year.

Read on to delve into a wealth of ideas on curating sincere New Year wishes, carefully composed to let your girlfriend know just how much she means to you.

Underscore Appreciation A great New Year's message starts with recognizing and expressing gratitude for your shared journey. Remind your girlfriend how she enriches your life with her love and companionship. For example: “My love, this past year with you has been filled with unforgettable moments that I'll treasure forever. I can't wait to make more beautiful memories with you in the coming year.”

Reflect on Your Growth Together Take some time to acknowledge how your relationship has grown and evolved. This could be a reflection of shared experiences, learned lessons, and your journey together. A message like, “As we step into another year, I can't help but reflect on how much we've grown together. Here's to growing, learning, and loving even more in the New Year.” can perfectly encapsulate this sentiment.

Convey Your Dreams and Hopes Another wonderful idea for New Year wishes for your girlfriend is to include your hopes and dreams for the future. Give her a glimpse into the future you envision together. An example could be: “With the dawn of this New Year, I look forward to further nurturing our love, experiencing new adventures with you, and realizing our shared dreams. Here's to a year of boundless love and joy!”

Include a Romantic Quote While tailor-made messages have their charm, an appropriately chosen romantic quote can also encapsulate your feelings beautifully. A poignant quote like, “For last year's words belong to last year's language, and next year's words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning” - T.S Eliot, can gracefully articulate your emotions.

Keep it Simple and Genuine Sometimes, a simple and heartfelt message can say it all. “Thank you for being my sunshine in all seasons. I look forward to another beautiful year with you. Happy New Year, my love.” This sincere wish is enough to express your love and eagerness for the coming year.

Remember, in the end, speaking from the heart is the most crucial step in crafting heartfelt New Year wishes for your girlfriend. Frame the words that best embody your mutual love and shared experiences; this will allow the wish to resonate thoroughly with her emotions. Use this New Year’s opportunity to celebrate your journey together and foster your mutual dreams for the future.

So go ahead, sprinkle some love-filled words into the New Year and watch it sparkle with joy, promise, and heartfelt adoration for your beloved. Cheers to your incredible journey in the year to come!