#and i'm not a victim!!! im simply experiencing consequences!

[inkskinned]

oh you know it's all latestage capitalism but the thing is. how are you supposed to be a person inside of this. a person trying to be a better version of yourself.

oh, you started working young, which was kind of hard, but it's just the way stuff works sometimes. and it was 2008 and your family couldn't afford heat. but it's fine, you grow a spine and get used to the professional world and besides it was the suburbs we're talking about here, like, your life could have been actually hard, so what if your father lost his job and you can't afford to move or turn the lights back on. and once you start making money, it's good. you keep doing that. because now they're relying on you. so you have to do that.

oh you were in thousands of dollars of debt at 17 years old so that you could go to school, because you have to go to school if you want to get a "real" job. you even did it "right", you worked parttime and attended community college before you transferred to a public school. you were under so many merit scholarships.

which is fine. you pick yourself up and you say like, okay. i graduated college. i'm holding down a job. i'm doing the Adult Thing, which looks and acts like this, according to all the books i've read. you start with the shitty job and then you climb that corporate ladder.

but the shitty job doesn't cover rent and you stretch yourself too-thin so you get sick. good luck with that. the shitty job no longer pays for your meals. everyone asks why you don't just move, but there's nowhere to move to. and with what money are you going to be moving? and then the loans come back, because they were never going to forgive them, because you were 17 and trying to do the right thing, which was stupid. people are now saying you shouldn't have even gone to school.

which is fine. but because you have no other option, so you do the shitty job, and you apply every day for like 5 new ones, and despite the fact everyone says "there's no one who wants to work!" it's actually just that nobody is fucking hiring so you can either work for 13 dollars an hour in the shitty place you know (where at least you have a passingly friendly relationship with the manager) or you can start from scratch again with a different 13 dollars an hour without knowing how much abuse from the new job you'll be taking.

and if you quit you lose your insurance. if you quit you lose your housing. if you quit, you'll be another burnout kid. the lazy ones. these assholes, look at them!

and you come home to a family dinner and you hear from your father the same old thing. how he worked hard at his job and yes it sucked for a while but he was able to provide for the family and then the house and the dog and the rest of barbie's dream vacation. how the insurance did cover some of it. how you just really need to start speaking up more in manager conversations so they know you're a go-getter. you want to tell him - did you know we're actually doing more now hourly than any previous generation? - but you can't remember where you heard that statistic, and you're far too tired for the fucking argument. and then he starts in on his usual bit. where's the house? where's your kids? where's your ambition.

the same job the same money the same hours doesn't do it anymore. the same nose-to-the-grindstone now just shreds your face off. there's no such thing as upwards mobility, not really. and as far as you're aware, the money certainly is not trickling. you do the soulless stupid shit you signed up for because you fucking have to or else you literally risk your life (food, the apartment, the insurance), but it's not getting you anything. you download the stupid "save more" app and you budget and you do every right thing and then the price of eggs is 7 dollars and you say - oh great! another thing i have to fucking worry about now!

and you go to your stupid job and everyone in your father's generation just tells you to be better about being an adult. they have their homes and their savings account and their bailout and they say. well have you tried not drinking starbucks. well your generation just spends too much on clothing. well you might just be too addicted to travelling. and you - because you need the job - you bite your tongue and don't say i am being held prisoner and you're suggesting i stop pacing my cell if i don't like the scenery and you don't say what the fuck do you think i've been doing with my money and you don't say i haven't spent a cent on something nice in literally forever much less coffee you arrogant asshole. you open and close your bank app and check your loans and check your credit score and check fucking zillow and ziprecruiter and apartments.com just one time more. and still they give you that demeaning little grin and say - see, what you need is -

what you need is for your meds to stop being so fucking expensive. what you need is for the housing bubble to explode into dust. what you need is for billionaires to choke on their wealth. what you need is actual help. what you will get is more economic advice from people who are older-and-wiser.

and above you, almost in a glimmer, you can see the wedged smile of your debt getting toothier, wider.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

abuse , victim blaming

just need to vent, thank you

i hate hate HATE it when people being kind towards abuse survivors are called babying them. i hate hate HATE it when people tell survivors to fight back and say it's our own fault if we're stuck because we're unwilling to work towards our own freedom. i HATE it when they are praised and even proud of themselves for making us face the harsh truth. YOU DONT!!! i find it very very VERYYY victim blamey to even inisuate we are somehow in the wrong for what? not trying even harder to escape? i always feel insulted each time someone tell me to try to escape and "get out of my comfort zone". like, why did you assume i never tried to fight back or escape? why did you think i even have any comfort zone at all? i hate it even more when it comes to fellow abuse survivor who escaped on their own. like, okay??? just because you could finally escape doesnt mean everyone else can do it too??? do i understand that sometimes, there are no outsiders who can magically save us? of course i do! i've known since early age that nobody will side with me! do i desperately wish to be able to escape myself since nobody from outside would be able to or willing to help me! OF COURSE!!!! I'VE TRIED FOR YEARS!!! SO WHY THE ASSUMPTION THAT BECAUSE I'M STILL STUCK THEN CLEARLY I HAVEN'T TRIED HARD ENOUGH????!!!!

gods. i understand if people who never experience abuse say that. but fellow abuse survivors??? hello???? do you seriously think escaping abusive situation is just a matter of mindset change wtf. i know staying in an abusive situation is bad!!!! i know it's highly unlikely any outside party will help me!!! i also know that escaping will bring negative consequences because i have tried and experienced it myself!!! even if i do escape i dont even know where to go!!!! i will die either way!!! like holy shit just because my exterior personality is calm and friendly doesnt mean im just tolerating bullshit while denying reality wtf

Hi anon,

I hear you. Unfortunately there are a lot of people out there with backwards ideas about abuse survivors, and the rhetoric that they perpetuate is so hurtful and damaging to our recovery. It's frustrating to deal with people who are simply ignorant to how abuse actually works. By perpetuating victim-blaming in these ways, they are protecting abusers.

I think it's important to be reminded that you didn't deserve what happened, regardless of whether or not you fought back. You still deserve kindness and it's not your fault if you didn't fight back. The only person whose fault it is, is the person who caused the abuse in the first place (the abuser). Just because it may have taken you longer to leave, or because perhaps you're not out of it yet, doesn't make you weak or unworthy of love, kindness, and safety. You have been and are doing your best.

I also just want you to consider that these people, while they will unfortunately exist, they don't deserve your time, energy, and emotion. You are worth so much more than to give them space they don't deserve in your mind and heart. You know your truth, you know what really happened and how abuse really works, and they cannot take that away from you with their ignorance. It can be exhausting to challenge these kinds of people and the rhetoric they spout, especially because it hits you right in the trauma. So for your own mental health and self care, while it is important to acknowledge the effect these comments have on you, it's also important to, not let it go necessarily, but know that you're worth more than spending your energy and emotion arguing with ridiculous statements.

I hope I could help. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[cantbelieveyouregone]

hey since you gave me a bunch of questions im gonna give YOU a bunch of them so how about 1, 6, 7, 20, 27, 39, 46 >:)

Damn, Lee, making me face the consequences of my actions. Greetings hello hi by the way :D

1) What was your first exposure to Danganronpa?

There's a few different answers to this depending on the level of awareness I had on what DR was. In like 2014-ish I had a friend cosplay as Monokuma, but had literally no idea what DR was at that point despite them enthusiastically recommending it to me. A few years later, another friend cosplayed as Chiaki, equally clueless then. It wasn't until like lockdown that I saw a play through of DR1 come up in my recommended on YouTube and I was just like "I vibe with detective games right now, sure" and then I experienced The Horrors (cautiously affectionate). Though I did vaguely recall Hifumi's death when I saw it for the first time, definitely hadn't seen the whole game before.

6) Do you have a fan character? Tell us about them!

I somehow don't have a DR fan character yet! Mainly because my brain took a different route and just started throwing my own characters into a slightly modified DR-like scenario as a game design challenge for myself. More focused on changing parts of the killing game formula and stuff. :p

7) You get the chance to reassign five characters new talents. Who do you choose, and which new talents do they get?

Gonna do this with the angle of characters keeping their underlying personality, and force myself to choose at least one per game. Leon is now the Ultimate Stage Actor, and yes he still wants to be a rock star - dude never learns his lines, just improvs flawlessly. Taka is now the Ultimate Lawyer, and my boy does NOT cope with the changed rules of killing game trial mayhem, repeatedly explaining that you can't just do the death penalty like that and Monokuma telling him to stop being a spoilsport. Hiyoko is now the Ultimate Opera Singer, partially because it makes it ten times funnier that she likes Ibuki's screamo, and because I find it very funny the idea of her absolutely dragging someone through the mud with words while singing Like That. Gundham Tanaka is now the Ultimate Janitor. No further comment, imagine what you will. Finally, I'm gonna say that Shuichi is now the Ultimate Marksman. He retains a literal eye for detail, the insecurity from rooty-tooty-thing-go-shooty thing going wrong, and a better background for the trial text going as absolutely buckwild as it does while the player still handles it, as well as better meta for not participating in the fundamental trial stuff near the end. You're asking the Ultimate Marksman to not take any shot.

Not all of those are amazing choices but it is 6am and I'm writing this because I can't sleep lmao

20) What is your favorite aspect of Danganronpa?

For as flawed as they are, the characters are what I latched on to and made me keep playing. Don't have much more to say without going on essay-length rants about individual character analyses right now though. But the characters are definitely a big draw.

27) You’re placed in a Killing Game as yourself (who you are now, no perks). How far do you believe you’d get?

Bestie, I am fucked. I am exceedingly killable and the embodiment of the Barely Hanging In There Star. I'd be paranoid, self-isolate as much as possible, and that would give anyone that figures out where I go an easy place to kill me with no witnesses. If I don't die first, I'm either a dishonourable second, or the least memorable of the two chapter three victims (because I'm assuming the others are still Ultimates, so I'm literally Just Some Guy) that the writers just get rid of because I outlived whatever subplot significance I had.

39) Which character do you feel deserves more love?

This is a hard one to answer simply from the fact I'm very much in my own bubble and don't really know the fandom's most beloved blorbos. Gonna do a few different ones for different interpretations of the question. Korekiyo was done dirty by the writing and could've been an interesting character but instead just feels like a waste of a good motive, so he deserved more love by the DR writers. Leon seems very ignored because first killer, obvious killer once the investigation started and his literal name was at the scene, and relatively shallow what we got in just the original game. So he could probably do with more attention to expand on his character. And I just don't want the TERFs to have Tenko, so I'm gonna say Tenko. Tenko would aggressively support trans rights, you can't change my mind. Deserves more love from non-TERFs.

46) What are some of your pregame headcanons?

I'm going to assume this is mainly about the V3 crew and answer based on that. And because I'm not creative, one pre-game headcanon per character.

Rantaro was a hell of a homebody, but got very good at cooking, and enjoyed trying to create foods from different cultures as accurately as possible. Danganronpa had a hell of a time getting ahold of him for the 52nd game.

Kaede was actually incredibly good at maths. Never saw herself as the creative type because of it.

Ryoma was actually a relatively happy-go-lucky guy, before the Character Writing made him depressed. He was a very good singer, too.

Kirumi was one of the popular kids, but like... the Secondary Character of the main popular kids friends group. She let you copy off her homework because she was equally as confident when she was completely wrong as when she was right.

Angie regularly ran DnD campaigns for a small group of people. She was the glue holding the friend group together, and the one who stopped them drifting apart.

Tenko was studying psychology in her free time in a desperate attempt to try and find a way to outwit her ADHD. Mainly she just ended up going down Wikipedia rabbit holes. Very good on the clarinet.

Korekiyo was just a normal guy. Didn't have a sister. Healthy relationship with his existing family. He had a pet dog that he hung out with a lot after school. He never brushed his hair.

Miu was actually a completely average student, the kind of person you'd never happen to really meet unless someone introduced you. But by God she was passionate about writing. Not that she ever told anyone.

Gonta was very much a gym bro. Neglected a lot of his studies to get back on the grind, but was still quite naturally smart. He paid no mind to people wondering how a teenager like him was jacked as fuck.

Kokichi was very much your archetypical emo kid. Got very good at pretending everything was fine for the sake of not getting bothered by people, and tried to blend into the background. He wanted to hack the school website for fun but couldn't be bothered to figure it out.

Kaito was the guy to go to if you needed to pretend you had a boyfriend for an event. He'd do it for a day's lunch money. Solid C+ student in everything but art, where he was a B+ student.

Keebo, I have always imagined as a regular guy who was augmented into a cyborg masquerading as a robot. Aka, not actually even a robot, but Danganronpa fucked him up big time for their purposes. He was a very sporty kid, but didn't like people drawing attention to it. He just had a lot of energy.

Tsumugi... I find it hard to do a headcanon for her because I can't even agree with myself whether she's actually a teenager or an adult cosplaying as one. But she had a small close knit group of friends that she'd spend at least one weekend a month with.

Maki was really looking forward to studying literature in her higher education. But then someone made her apply to Danganronpa on a dare, and she did it to shut them up, intentionally making herself sound as boring as possible to reduce the chance she got picked. Unfortunately, Team Danganronpa took it as a challenge.

Himiko was the one who you'd hear about doing some wild shit, but then you'd meet her in person and the vibe can only be described as the gif of SpongeBob sitting in a coffee shop looking sad. You could never be sure if the things you heard were rumours or true.

Shuichi was the disruptive one with anger issues. He'd aggressively disagree with the teacher's opinion just because he could and he was bored. The only exception was in Geography. It was the one subject that for some reason calmed him down.

Hope those answers were alright! I'd link to the ask game but I'm on mobile and can't be bothered right now, might edit to add it later though lmao

[kinnporsche-n-chill]

Sorry for that scary anxiety message. I don't want to send a pm because I'm ashamed. I have this weird escapism behaviour. I procastinate everthing; escaping until the last minute & then its too much. So I don't complete papers, skip all classes and ignore whatsapp, cause I want to shut it all out. When I think about it my whole body becomes still & depressive thoughts get into my head. Tumblr is a form of escapism too, for me. I needed to tell at least someone, Im SO sorry I made you the victim

I don’t see myself as a victim at all. I see myself as a person that you are trying to reach out to for help, because you need someone like that. And I want to be that person for you, if you are comfortable with that. If you do decide to send me a private message, I will keep it completely private and professional. 

I will never, never judge anyone for their personal struggles and/or problems they are facing. I know exactly what it’s like to go through a time when you are mentally instable, and increddibly ashamed of your state and your actions. 

From what I can tell of your description of what you are going through, it sounds to me like you are depressed, and experiencing anxiety as a result of the consequences of said depression. This is a downwards spiral, and it is important that you find the strenght and help to get yourself out of that. Either by seeking professional help, or simply by talking to people about it. 

I completely understand that you are not comfortable with talking to a complete stranger about your personal struggles, but know that this can also be an advantage for you. Because I don’t know you, I cannot have any judgemental thoughts towards you, or be biased in any way. 

And, even though I am fine with trying to help you through private messaging, I can’t reply privately like this, and therefore everyone who follows me will be able to see these messages and answers. 

Do whatever you are most comfortable with, of course, but just know that I will never judge you, no matter who you are, for having personal struggles, and needing to talk about it with someone.