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#and if that's the impression I give I have terribly misled people
alciedoodles · 1 year
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Hey Neyla! I hope it’s ok that I ask but is there a brush setting you prefer on procreate? I’ve been inspired by your art for eons but I can’t comprehend photoshop. You can totally disregard this if you don’t use procreate though!
Hello! I don't know how long this message's been sitting in my inbox because i didnt check in for a while 🥺 I hope you get to see this either way!
I don't use procreate unfortunately, but I can explain the settings I use for my brushes on CSP in general, and if it works like any other art software then you should have similar settings on procreate
for sketches/linework, I will very often use an opaque & slightly textured round brush. the most important for me is for the brush to have that fuzzy sort of texture that gives the impression of using a pen/marker on paper.
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note that i am actually terrible when it comes to line weight, it's definitely not something i work on a lot other than in backgrounds, so I don't actually bother too much with pen pressure settings.
the only rule I abide to is to always set the minimum value above 0 (anywhere between 20-30 is what I use). this is because when I started drawing, I used to be very heavy-handed and would wear out my pens too quickly-- so setting a minimum can help you become more aware of how hard you're pressing on your pen and make gentler strokes.
another fun little setting i use is opacity: like I said, I use opaque brushes for lines, but I like to reduce a tiny bit of opacity when brushing very lightly to give that impression of pen on paper.
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There's a couple more brushes I use for coloring or rendering; the major sticking point being that I don't use pen pressure to control brush size that much. If I want to make thinner/smaller strokes, I'll simply reduce the brush size because it's easier for me to control!
(also, opacity is something I'll use a lot more when I'm working on colors)
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just know that this is my way of handling it, and it may not suit your style. pen pressure may be another artist's best friend, so please make sure you try out what works best for you :)
finally, some art softwares come with stabilization. I don't use it personally, unless i'm actually trying to do really smooth curves (which is practically never). stabilization can also make CSP lag a lot with higher values and large brushes. the use of stabilization doesn't make you a bad artist or a lazy one, and not using it can make your lines look a tiny bit wobbly if you're not used to doing quick strokes. use stabilization at your own leisure!
on a different note, i know this wasn't part of the question but I'm bringing this up since it's something I tend to hear from people who say they were inspired by my art (thank you by the way🥺💕!!) : don't be misled by artstyles that "make it look easy"! my sketches may look very simple and natural because i'm more adept at bringing out the essential and discarding details in a design. this is not necessarily what you want for your art style; maybe you like drawing details a lot, maybe you prefer the lazy way out going straight to the point. neither are good or bad, only what you like to do matters.
also, if you're frustrated by your work, don't be afraid to draw over it as many times as you want, adjusting things with the lasso tool or deform if something feels off then drawing over again. sometimes you'll be satisfied with your first take, and sometimes you'll need 3 bases before its acceptable (examples below)-- it all depends on your mood, energy, motivation, desired outcome, format, or even just randomness
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oh and, sometimes the best way to enjoy drawing..is to find something to obsessively draw (,:
take care!
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vitamindgummies31 · 4 months
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delimeful · 3 years
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taking the fall (3)
warnings: imprisonment, interrogation, injury, mild blood, panic and sensory overload, dehumanizing language, ambiguous motives, morally neutral/antagonistic janus, snakes mention
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His guest wasn’t eating.
Janus cast an irritated glance over to the terrarium, where the only “life” that could be seen was a clump of thick foliage in one corner.
He’d left the old fake plants in there as a taunt, but as soon as the tiny creature had ascertained that there were no snakes in the grass, they’d immediately bundled every bit of shiny plastic greenery into a makeshift nest and hid within it. He supposed he should have expected it, from one as industrious as these tiny folk all seemed to be.
Regardless of his guest’s reticence, he’d been setting small dishes of food in there whenever he himself took his meals, giving them some time to adjust to the reality of their situation. It had been a couple of days, however, and every miniature entree looked entirely untouched.
His prisoner seemed to be on a hunger strike.
It added more evidence to his theory that he was being misled in regards to his guest’s identity. If they were actually a victim in all this, why bother keeping quiet and refusing to give the answers Janus needed? Why go so far as to not even eat, for people who allegedly wouldn’t care if he lived or died?
No, things made much more sense if this was a gambit on the tiny people’s part, one of them volunteering to stay and play sacrificial lamb, distracting him for as long as the others needed. Their terror, their injury, their tiny bitter laugh, it could all be part of a ploy for pity on his end. Get him too invested in a puzzling prisoner while the others escaped.
The thought made his stomach drop unpleasantly. His opponents were exceedingly small, and he was one of the few who knew they existed. If they got away, he’d never see them again.
He couldn’t afford that.
Pushing his chair back, he approached the terrarium, casting an assessing eye over the food set out in it. Some of it could sit out, and had been there overnight, the best time for his guest to eat without risking even seeing Janus. But no. Not a single crumb out of place to indicate that anything had been eaten.
“Still alive?” he asked dryly, rapping a knuckle on the glass once.
There was a long pause, and then one of the leafy stems sticking out from the nest twitched twice. This daily question and response was the only communication he’d had with his guest since that first afternoon, and even this small, silent answer had originally been prompted by a threat of Janus reaching in there and checking himself.
“I notice that you’ve been refusing any sustenance,” he continued idly, and got nothing for his efforts. “Planning to die before you can give up any secrets?”
No response. Janus sighed as though put upon, and slid the terrarium lid halfway off. There were still no meaningful movements from the nest, though it seemed to be subtly trembling. It was impressive that despite the dark clothing that his guest wore, he still couldn’t make out exactly where they were even this close.
With narrowed eyes, he reached in and grabbed a few of the plastic leaves, tugging to pull the construction apart bit by bit.
He only caught the faintest flicker of movement before there was a sudden sharp pain in his index finger, and he yanked his hand back on reflex.
A weight came up with it, putting even more pressure on his wound, and it dropped as soon as his hand was just above the terrarium lid.
Seeing the dark shape attempting to scramble away, his other hand smacked down on top of it automatically, pressing it into the mesh with a small, muffled cry.
He glanced at his hand. There was a plastic thorn hooked in his thumb, the broad end chewed off and the point of it sharpened. His guest had attacked and used him as a makeshift lift in their escape attempt.
“Oh,” he intoned, voice dark. “Seems like you have plenty of energy after all, hm?”
---
Virgil took in short, gasping breaths, barely able to hear whatever threatening thing the human was muttering as pain radiated through his leg.
It let up just slightly as the pressure of the hand on top of him eased, his face no longer pressed into the cold wire netting of the cage’s top. Before he could try and string two thoughts together, the fingers were curling around him like a hawk’s talons, lifting him up and sending another jolt of mind-numbing pain through him. He might have whimpered.
So much for that escape attempt. He’d known it was a long shot, but his options had been limited after realizing that he literally couldn’t stand on the injured leg any more. They’d dwindled further with every day he couldn’t bring himself to crawl over to any food or water. Living outside, he’d survived on very little before, but it was a gamble every time.
He was flipped to face the light, the human’s head in silhouette above him. He couldn't make out it’s words. Everything felt overwhelming, made incomprehensible by the pain and the dark spots in his vision. His face felt hot. Was he bleeding?
Things went blissfully quiet above him, and then he was being moved. He wondered if the human was about to kill him, and the thought sent a much weaker pulse of panic down his spine than usual. He hoped it killed borrowers before feeding them to it’s snakes.
Something soft and dark dropped over him, and he thrashed for a moment before his leg reminded him how awful an idea that was. So he laid still instead, letting his terror shake through him in waves, until he wasn’t completely lost to it anymore.
Slowly, he lifted a hand, feeling at what was draped over him. Cloth, soft in texture and tightly-knit enough that not much light got through. Below him… a warm, living surface.
“Awake?” the human said, voice both closer and quieter than he’d ever heard it.
Another shudder worked through him, and he reached up to press his hands over his face, wishing none of this was real. His eye pigment had run, drying in tracks down his cheeks.
He wouldn’t be able to reapply it. The locket he stored it in was left behind with the rest of his stuff, tucked away into his oversized pack and left at the opening into the human’s home. It had probably already been torn through and picked apart by Mari and the other insiders.
The thought stung, somehow more personal than the nightmare of the situation he was already in.
“I believe I see now why you haven’t eaten,” the human continued with a surprising lack of snark. It must have seen his leg. He felt a little sick just thinking about it.
What had felt like a low-grade fracture through the adrenaline had ended up growing worse and worse without treatment, until the injury was a solid lump of swollen flesh and ugly bruising that twanged with agony at even the slightest shifts. He wondered if the human was going to use it against him. It would make torture exceedingly easy on its part.
“Continue with the silent treatment, and you won’t get any actual treatment,” it said, now sounding exasperated.
After another stretch of silence, the hand beneath him moved and tilted, sliding him off onto a flat surface. Suddenly desperate to know what was going on, Virgil yanked at the cloth, dragging handfuls of it down until he reached an edge and could pull it clear of his eyes.
The light in this room was dimmer, but it still took him a moment to adjust. He wasn’t in a snake tank, but on top of a low table in what looked like a sitting room, if he remembered the human terms right. The human was seated on the couch nearby, looking down at him.
“There you are.”
---
The tiny person shot him a furious glare, rendered mostly ineffective by the dark tear streaks that were still smudged along their face.
Janus wished his earlier reflexes had been a little gentler. He’d had a quite embarrassing moment of panic where he’d thought the grotesque worsening of their leg injury had been caused by his grasp, rather than simple neglect and lack of treatment.
Despite his patience, they didn’t reply, continuing to just stare at him. He stood, ignoring the way it instantly made them begin trembling again.
“I’ll be back in a moment. Feel free to move around and make your injury worse,” he instructed dryly, before turning and going to grab the first aid kit from the bathroom.
His thumb was still sensitive, the injury messily scabbed over with dried blood. He’d pried the thorn out with his teeth easily enough, but with his other hand occupied by a prone tiny person and their hyperventilation fit, he couldn’t properly treat it.
Upon his return, he saw his guest had abandoned his handkerchief and was halfway to the edge of the table. He rolled his eyes, and set the kit down before grabbing them by the shoulders and sliding them back over to the handkerchief.
“I was being sarcastic, you know,” he told them, and opened the kit to start cleaning his undersized injury. “I’ll be very unhappy if my only source of information dies a completely avoidable death for no reason.”
“Yeah, because I sure wouldn’t want to make you unhappy,” his guest bit out, and then looked as though they were deeply and immediately regretting opening their mouth. Janus didn’t know why; he personally took much better to sass than being stabbed.
“So you do know how sarcasm works. Color me impressed.”
The tiny person actually hissed at him, like the world’s most emo kitten.
“Yes, yes, I feel very threatened,” Janus retaliated by prodding them with the edge of an open tube of arnica gel. “Here. For the bruising.”
After another long glare, his guest spoke. “What do you want for it?”
Janus raised an eyebrow. “Couldn’t it be argued that I owe it to you, for allowing the injury to fester while you’re in my care?”
“Your care--!” his guest cut themself off, taking in a deep breath through gritted teeth. “Terrible hosting etiquette aside, you weren’t the one who gave me the injury. Not your concern. So, what do you want?”
Janus wondered absently how tiny people qualified their hosts’ manners. He had certainly already failed by human standards, immediately imprisoning his guest and all, so perhaps it didn’t really matter either way. He wasn’t above taking advantage of a tiny person’s bartering honor system. “Answer three questions.”
“I get to pass on questions I don’t want to answer,” his guest countered quickly, apparently having expected this.
“You get five passes,” Janus allowed. Seeing what they refused to answer would be informative in itself.
“... Fine.” With another glance at their injury, they grabbed the tube sharply enough that they almost overbalanced. “Ask.”
“Where are the others living?” Janus asked, just to set the stakes high.
“Pass,” his guest answered, not even looking up from their task. Janus rolled his eyes.
“Why are you defending them?” he tried.
“I’m not defending them,” they shot back, vitriol thick in their voice. “I just don’t want you to get what you want. That’s one question.”
“Ouch. I’m hurt, really.” Janus tapped his nails along the table idly. “What’s your name and pronouns?”
This did prompt them to look up, face pinching up in confusion. After a moment, they returned to their baseline expression of scowl and retorted, “That’s two questions.”
“It’s one sentence, it counts as one question,” Janus lied smugly. They still looked close to passing, so he gave them a nudge. “Unless you want me to make something up? I’m very creative, I assure you.”
“I use he,” he finally grit out, “and you can call me V.”
“For Vendetta?” Janus mused, and received an utterly baffled look for his wit. “I suppose your movie repertoire isn’t that expansive.”
“Two questions,” V said flatly. “One left.”
“Yes, I can count.” Janus glanced at V’s gel-covered leg. “You have to rub that in for it to work.”
V’s expression flickered to one of despair, but he bit his lip and started to slowly massage the gel in. Janus wondered at how easily he’d believed him.
“What do you call yourselves?”
“Pass.”
“Where did you live?”
“Pass.”
“How do I bait the others out?”
“Pass.”
“Why do you hate me more than the ones who allegedly put you here?”
V’s hand slipped, and he winced and paused for a moment. “... Pass.”
There was certainly a grudge there. Too bad Janus had no idea what it could be about. Oh well.
He set a hand on the table, leaning over V. “When do the others plan to leave? As specific as you can get, please.”
“Pa--,” V cut himself off, and Janus could see the moment he realized he had used up all his get-out-of-questioning-free cards. He patiently waited out the tiny person’s fit of frustration.
“... I don’t know.” Janus’s smug grin dropped, but V continued after a speculative pause. “I don’t think they’ll leave before the season's turning. The spring thaw has been slow this year, and they’re-- not suited for it.”
Janus felt some of the tension drop from his shoulders. The start of summer. He had time, and the advantage of a weather forecast app. That was good news, even if he’d had to wrangle it out of his guest. He had time.
“How interesting,” he said lightly, and capped the gel to put it back in the box. V’s hands were clutching the edge of his coat tightly, as though guilty or angry. Or perhaps just stressed. “Let’s get some food in actual range of you, then, shall we?”
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cherubcow · 3 years
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“Invincible”, Season 1 (2021) Review
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Somehow both very cool and very fucking stupid :D
About Created and written primarily by Robert Kirkman (principle writer for The Walking Dead comic and TV show), this Young Adult cartoon basically synthesizes a number of comic book characters (e.g., Superman, Batman, Green Lantern, Hellboy, Wonder Woman, Gambit) and tries to balance their heroism with cynical twists and dark realities. It's an exercise like Brightburn (2019) in that it mirrors existing comic writing all too closely in order to make violent twists. The cool stuff arrives pretty much immediately. You can tell right away that the physics have some level of realism, and it quickly gets serious because of this. The easy comparison would be to The Boys (also by Amazon, also about violent heroes, and also very well-produced). So, if you like The Boys (2019–), you'll probably like Invincible only a little less.
(( Some spoilers but nothing too specific ))
Wrong Focus But, the stupid stuff comes from the same error that the Kick-Ass movie (2010) made: it focuses on the wrong person(s). In Kick-Ass, the error was focusing on.. well.. "Kick-Ass", an irredeemable loser and waste of screen time. Invincible makes the same mistake, focusing on.. well.. "Invincible", a (so far) irredeemable loser and waste of screen time. So, despite its virtues, this show cannot escape that it made the decision to go for the Young Adult viewing demographic. It reminds me of Alita: Battle Angel (2019) in that way too: some very cool adult concepts ruined by the dramatic devices of unrepentant teenage stupidity and irrelevance. I didn't even like that stuff when I was a teenager, though Jordan Catalano gets a pass.
Main Cast and Characters The supporting characters were also very stupid. The most annoying was definitely Amber Bennett (voiced by the otherwise cool Zazie Beetz from Deadpool 2 (2018) and Joker (2019)), 
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who is supposed to be attractive somehow to Mark Grayson ("Invincible", voiced by Steven Yeun, who played Glenn on The Walking Dead) 
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despite the fact that she constantly judges him, fails to understand him, often fails to give him any kind of benefit of the doubt, and continues to scowl at him and be hurtful towards him even when she has information that should change her outlook towards him. And because she is part of the love triangle shared between herself, Invincible/Mark, and "Atom Eve"/Samantha (voiced by the awesome Gillian Jacobs from Community (2009–2014)), 
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audiences simply have to bear with it that Amber's annoying character will be present and wasting time until Mark can realize that Amber is in fact toxic and that Eve actually understands him and can improve him in more positive directions. That love triangle should have been a 20-minute distraction, but I'm guessing that it will eat up a season or two more, especially if the writers become cowardly and fail to change things for fear of messing up a perceived "winning" formula. In my ideal story line, they would skip ahead 10 years, drop the teen drama, the love triangle, and the stupid jokes and have Invincible and Eve paired in defense of Earth, with the main tension being from their worry that the other would be horribly gored in front of them during lethal fights against cosmic enemies ;)
Aside, I am aware of Amber’s motivation for being a bad person, I just think her justification is not based in understanding, empathy, and a regard for the gravity of Invincible’s situation. In a strict political sense, Invincible should not commit a lie of omission by keeping her in the dark about his identity — even if for the “noble lie” reason of protecting her — but in a real sense, he is a fucking teenager who just developed his super powers. For her to pretend that he should reveal his entire identity to her — a potentially transformative and even dangerous decision — after a few months of teenage romance paints an absurd portrait of her mind. It does, however, align her with Omni-Man, because where Omni-Man forces Invincible to become an adult in the fighting sense (pushing with full force early on), Amber forces Invincible to become an emotional adult by getting him to understand that toxic people such as herself need to be given boundaries — and he needs to learn to clearly delineate and communicate his real desires. By knowing that he does not want Amber, people who regiment his free time, or people who do not suit him, for instance, he can realize why Eve was an obvious decision: Eve understands, can make time when they have time, and will let him find his decisions. Part of a coming-of-age story tends to be realizing what one actually wants, and Invincible’s hesitation in telling Amber his identity shows that he does not truly want her. This separates Invincible from, say, Spider-Man, who avoided telling Mary Jane his identity not because he did not want her but because he wanted at all costs to protect her.
The next most annoying character has to be Debbie Grayson (voiced by TV-cancer Sandra Oh and who luckily was not animated to look like the real Sandra Oh and who should have been voiced instead by Bobby Lee due to Lee's successful MadTV parody of Sandra Oh). 
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Debbie basically fills the role of Skyler in Breaking Bad, except that Debbie's character tends to be slightly more understanding before her inevitable and toxic Skyler-resentment and undermining behavior. Despite having an 8-episode arc of change, Debbie's character flips too quickly and lacks the empathy and Omni-Man motive-justifying that would make her interesting (the comic's development may vary). For instance, if she refused to believe that Omni-Man meant his own words, that would make her empathetic and perhaps virtuous even if misled, but instead she dropped their "20 years" of understanding after viewing Omni-Man in action, which makes her appear shallow, easily manipulated, and unsympathetic. That was a definite "Young Adult" genre move because it shows immaturity by the writers to break apart a bond of 20 years so quickly. Mediocre teens might accept such a fissure because their lives have not yet seen or may not comprehend that level of time, but adults know that even long-standing and problematic relationships (which, beyond the lie, Omni-Man's and Debbie's was not shown to be) take a lot of time to break — even with lies exposed.
Omni-Man The biggest show strength for me was of course Omni-Man, who in a success of casting was voiced by J.K. Simmons in a kind of reprisal of Simmons' role as Fletcher from Whiplash (2014). 
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The Fletcher/Omni-Man parallel shows through their being incredibly harsh but extremely disciplined and principled, forcing people to become beyond even their own ideal selves (this via Omni-Man's tough-love teaching of Invincible — comically, Omni-Man was actually psychologically easier on Invincible than Fletcher was on Whiplash's Andrew character). Despite the show's attempts to villainize Omni-Man, he, like Fletcher and also like Breaking Bad's Walter White, becomes progressively more awesome, eventually representing a Spartan will, an unconquerable drive, and a realistic and martial understanding of a hero's role.
To the show's credit, while it wrote Omni-Man to be outright genocidal and from a culture of eugenicists (again, Spartan), they could not help but admire him and his "violence" and "naked force" (for a Starship Troopers reference), giving him a path to redemption. That redemption comes in part because — despite the show's attempt to be often realistic and violent — its decision to be directed at young adults via dumb jokes, petty relationship drama, the characters’ reckless lack of anonymity and security in their neighborhood (loudly taking off and landing right at the doorstep), and light indy music also made the portrayed violence far less literal. With a less literal violence, the real statement becomes not that Omni-Man really did kill so many people (though he certainly did kill those people within the show's plot) but that he was symbolically capable of terrible violence but could be reformed for good. That's the shortcoming with putting violence under demographic limitations. If it's a PG-13 Godzilla knocking down cities, the deaths in the many fallen skyscrapers don't matter so much (the audience will even forgive Godzilla for mass death if it happens mostly in removed spectacle), whereas if it's Cormac McCarthy envisioning a very realistic fiction, every death rides the edge of true trauma.
By showing light between the real and the symbolic, it is much easier to identify and agree with Omni-Man. For instance, when Robot (voiced by Zachary Quinto of Heroes and the newer Star Trek movies) 
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shows too much empathy for the revealed weakness of "Monster Girl" (voiced by Grey Griffin), the audience may have thought, "Pathetic," even before Omni-Man himself said it. And this because Omni-Man knows that true and powerful enemies (including himself) will not hesitate to use ultra-violence against these avenues of weakness. "Invincible" can make his Spider-Man quips while in lethal battles, but he does so while riding the edge of death — something that Omni-Man has to teach Invincible by riding him to the brink of his own.
Other Cast/Characters and Amazon's Hidden Budget It was impressive how many big-name actors were thrown into this — a true hemorrhage of producer funding. Amazon has so far hidden the budget numbers, perhaps because they don't want people to know that the show (like many of its shows) represents a kind of loss-leader to jump-start its entertainment brand.
Aside from those already mentioned, the show borrows a number of actors from The Walking Dead (WD), including.. • Chad L. Coleman ("Martian Man"; "Tyreese" on WD),
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• Khary Payton ("Black Samson"; "Ezekiel" on WD),
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• Ross Marquand (several characters; "Aaron" on WD)
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• Lauren Cohan ("War Woman"; "Maggie" on WD)
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• Michael Cudlitz ("Red Rush"; "Abraham" on WD)
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• Lennie James ("Darkwing"; "Morgan" on WD)
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• Sonequa Martin-Green ("Green Ghost"; "Sasha" on WD) 
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There were also connections to Rick and Morty and Community, not just with Gillian Jacobs but also with... • Justin Roiland ("Doug Cheston"), who voices both Rick and Morty in Rick and Morty,
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• Jason Mantzoukas ("Rex"),
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• Walton Goggins ("Cecil"),
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• Chris Diamantopoulos (several characters),
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• Clancy Brown ("Damien Darkblood"),
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• Kevin Michael Richardson ("Mauler Twins"), and
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• Ryan Ridley (writing)
That's a lot of overlap. They even had Michael Dorn from Star Trek: TNG (1987–1994) (there he played Worf) and Reginald VelJohnson from Family Matters (1989–1998) and Die Hard (1988), and even Mark Hamill. Pretty much everyone in the voice cast was significant and known. Maybe Amazon got a discount for COVID since the actors could all do voice-work from home? ;)
Overall Bad that it was for the Young Adult target demo but good for the infrequent adult themes and ultra-violence. Very high production value and a good watch for those who like dark superhero stories. I have heard that the comic gets progressively darker, which fits for Robert Kirkman, so it will likely be worth keeping up with this show.
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magioftheseas · 3 years
Text
★ Usami, Get Fired Up! ★
Summary: Usami and Matsuda’s first meeting, building from a scene in Chapter 25 of Super Danganronpa 2: Matsuda Yasuke’s Battle of Despair and Wits.
Rating: T
Warnings: Violence against stuffed animals outside of the flashback.
Notes: Thought it’d be fun to tack on a bonus scene to the incinerator scene. Poor Monomi. I swear I love her.
Read this fic among others HERE
Main story is HERE
Commission? Donate?
The truth is that Usami met Matsuda years ago. This is a fact the readers already know, but it is one that Usami kept close to her heart and continued to cherish even after becoming Monomi.
She had been a new AI at the time. Her creator, Gekkogahara Miaya, designed her with the intention of helping more reserved children open up. As a cutesy and cuddly friendly face, she was meant to be unassuming if not comforting.  At first, Gekkogahara would communicate through her but with the development of the Neo World Program, an AI was thought to be more practical.
Usami was ‘born’ soon after.
Matsuda Yasuke was one of the first people she met.
“So, she’s active now, sensei?” Matsuda had peered into her screen, brow raised. “She looks the same as always.”
“It’s very nice to meet you!” she chittered, naturally excited and joyful, flailing as she struck a pose. In her overzealousness, she almost twisted her foot too much. Still, she bounced and squealed. “Magical Miracle Girl ★ Usami! The lovey-dovey, cutesy-wutesy cuddle buddy!”
Matsuda clicked his tongue in annoyance.
“...she’s supposed to be a teacher, right? Not sure if this is the right personality for a teacher.” He directed his questions to Gekkogahara. “Sensei, I hate to say it but I’m not sure about it.”
Usami couldn’t see Gekkogahara, but she did see Matsuda nod along. Saw him duck his head respectfully and mutter a dull acquiescence.
“I guess with you and Fujisaki working on her, it should pan out,” he was saying. “It should be fine...?”
“It will be fine!” Usami chirped. “Have hope, Matsuda-kun! Usami—I will do her bestest-westest for everyone! Love, love!”
“Love... Urgh.” Matsuda grimaced at her, only to shout when Gekkogahara’s hand rests atop his head. “H-Hey! Sensei, I’m not a fucking child!”
He’s flustered beyond belief, and Gekkogahara pulls away. Whatever gesture she makes gets that blush on Matsuda’s cheeks darkening.
And he notices Usami staring at him. He gives her a look, but says with utmost seriousness, “I’ll be expecting a lot from you. Don’t let me down.” A pause. “Don’t let Sensei or Fujisaki down either.”
“Of course, of course! Love, love, love!”
Usami’s first impression of Matsuda Yasuke was that he could be a bit prickly, but he was definitely a kind person. He was someone her creator was as fond of as she was respectful towards. In the days of developing the NWP, Usami did pay him a lot of mind.
“He has a difficult personality and has had many difficult experiences,” was Gekkogahara’s report on him. “Please be patient with him. He may seem cruel and aloof, and it can take time for him to let others into his heart. However, he cares deeply and unwaveringly. To a worryingly codependent degree.”
“Usami will do her best!”
“Be mindful, be patient.” Gekkogahara’s instructions were precise. “He is not one of your students, but observing his behavior and learning how to engage with him...should assist in your learning.”
Usami did watch him. Both him and Fujisaki. She watched the two of them work together and communicate, and she paid close mind when the two of them were anxious and uncertain. Fujisaki was always more obvious about it, but because Matsuda noticed, he was always much gentler, much less brusque. More complimentary, even.
Matsuda Yasuke could be a bit prickly, but he was definitely a kind person.
He was definitely...definitely...
--
...he’s definitely a kind person, definitely a kind person, definitely, definitely, definitely!
But no matter how much she told herself that, she couldn’t climb up the chute. She kept sliding back down and down.
If he just had the chance to live normally, this wouldn’t have happened.
She knew that. Gekkogahara knew that. Naegi knew that.
It’s all because of Monokuma. It’s because of Eno—
“Shiiiiiit, sis!” came the cackling, resounding, screeching laughter from above. “You’re really in the pits now! Upupupu!”
Even in the darkness, Monokuma’s maliciously gleaming grin casted the worst shadow.
“Matsuda-kun reeeeeeally hates you, huh?” it remarked, vibrating with despicable glee. “He hates you, resents you, totally deeeeeespises you! So much so that it’s deeeeespairing!”
“It’s all your fault!” Monomi shot back hotly. “If it wasn’t for you—!”
“If it weren’t for Enoshima Junko, Matsuda-kun wouldn’t even beeeee here,” Monokuma said. “Did you know? Matsuda-kun’s everything is aaaaaaaall thanks to Enoshima Junko!”
“You LIAR! I won’t be misled by you!” she shrieked. “Matsuda-kun may be prickly, but he’s definitely a kind person! It’s because of you that he—!”
Monokuma sighed heavily. The sound so low and yet so loud that it caused the inside of the incinerator to rattle.
“Gosh, sis, you just can’t keep up at all. You’re HOPELESS! Wake UP! Do you think you can conveniently blame everyone’s problems on only one person? I know I’m your cool older brother, but I’m not that incredible y’know.”
“You’re not my brother!” Monomi could protest that point, and got another heavy sigh for her troubles.
“Boring... So boring... Oh, Monomi. Poor, sweet, stupid Monomi. I didn’t make Matsuda-kun shove you down there.”
She did flinch and that—that was her weakness.
“Upupupu. I’m not gonna be the reason why Matsuda-kun hates you so much that he doesn’t care about what happens to you. Even! If! It’s something like THIS!”
Monokuma slipped out of view but there was a sound soon after. An awful, wretched noise as the incinerator roared to life. No matter how much Monomi screamed, it was all over for her the second it ignited.
And no matter how much it burned, no matter how much it burned and burned—
He’s definitely a kind person, she told herself over and over. They’re all good kids. They deserve a chance. Everyone...deserves a chance...
Even if—they’ve done—terrible, horrible, awful, despairing things—
It hurts it hurts it hurts
Have patience.
Have hope.
It hurts it hurts iT HUR—
Everything will be okay!
Everything burned to a crisp. In the same breath she choked on a sob, she also choked on so much smoke from her own sizzling body.
--
“Uwaaah, waaah, poor sis. Poor, poor sis.”
Monokuma patted the incinerator a few times.
“She’s really so annoying, it gets me fuming!” A pause. “But now I’m all fired up to cause even MORE despair!”
No one was around to appreciate his red-hot puns. Alas, that Monomi was already in ashes. Still. Still, still, still.
“My beloved Matsuda Yasuke-kun will fall into despair,” it said. “That’s been set in stone.”
It spoke with all the certainty that LOVE could have.
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snkpolls · 4 years
Text
SnK Chapter 130 Results
The chapter poll closed with 1775 responses. This month’s poll results were brought to you by u/staraves, Crunchwrap, Luna, Momtaku and Giovata! Thank you to everyone for your support!
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RATE THE CHAPTER
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Maybe it was finally getting Eren’s POV, or maybe it was finally seeing the rumbling in nine glorious double page spreads. Either way “Dawn for Humanity” was very well received with close to 70% giving it the highest possible rating, marking this the most acclaimed chapter since chapter 123.
Beautifully drawn and written. I like the teasing of Eren's PoV
Good to see some Eren and Historia (finally!!) but the lack of answers is really hurting my heart, cmon yama!!
Epic chapter, amazing artwork. And astonishingly, with 5-6-7 chapters left i still don't know where this is going.
Definitely in my top ten best chapters. The ending was gloriously horrifying to read. Also, we finally got some Historia content, which is a big plus.
Cool as hell chapter.
I feel like this chapter wasn’t that great. It kind of gave way to more speculation without giving many concrete answers. The things that it DID answer felt like stating the obvious.
Tease me more, daddy Isayama
This chapter most likely is the best i've ever seen. So many answers and sooo many questions left behind. This chapter directs us to think about the previous chapters and obviously ISAYAMA'S THOUGHTS. That thing makes me happy. I'm very grateful.
Death is on its way, ladies and gents. Also the end is almost here. What the fuck is going on? I just want some answers about  E V E R Y T H I N G (especially about Eren's psyche).
Is there a singular word for the feeling of a mosquito bite?
  WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT?
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“The revelation of Eren’s freaky final boss form” was our favorite moment (22.7%) followed by “Eren’s POV finally! Sort of?” (15.8%) and “The rumbling! At last!” (13.4%). “Historia and Eren’s tense discussion on the farm” came in fourth (11.6%).
Fuck yes! Erens back!
Our Queen has finally returned!
The whole chapter was building up to the reveal of Eren's titan form, and I enjoyed it.
Finally back at our one and only true hero Eren.
SWIMMER TITANS ARE NOW THE GOLD MEDALIST FOR THE SWIMMING CATEGORY IN OLYMPICS 2020 special edition
FINNALY HISU POV, even if it’s just a flashback. Honestly I’m just happy to see her again, becuase she’s my favorite character, and even if the flashback gives more questions than answers.
loved zeke-eren bro talk
everyone who thought that Floch was lying in charter 125 are 🤡🤡🤡
reiner tiddies
  WHO WAS THIS CHAPTER'S MVP?
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“The colossal synchronized swim team” made an impressive showing (28.5%) but their majestic moves across the ocean were not enough to topple Eren (53.6%) for chapter MVP. Historia (8.1%), Zeke (5%), and Annie (3.5%) also received some love.
EREN IS THE GOAT
Eren is the worst boy in the world.
EREN JAEGER GENOCIDAL MANIAC
I really missed Historia, so it was nice to see her.
can the rumbling start a synchronized aquatic dance?
  WHAT DOES THE CHAPTER TITLE "DAWN FOR HUMANITY" REFER TO?
I thought of it as some sort of "End of the world" titling.
Dunno; but it doesn't really work if the rest of the world gets rumbled, does it?
I want to see the japanese title to decide
Eren wants to kill “animals” to give a new life to “humanity”
A dawn, or a beginning of a new day, has arrived. Whether this new day is a good or a bad one for humanity, we do not yet know. Everything is still possible, but once this day is over, the world as we know it is no longer here, for better or worse.
A new age for humanity is incoming. The story will end as a tragedy with Eren achieving his goal.
Dawn means the start of the day. So I think the start of the rumbling will be the start of humanity for this world. I think we started to see this with the world fleet being there to try stop eren. I believe every country is helping people flee regardless of race. Maybe I'm just too idealistic.
Ce chapitre fait reference au fait qu’eren est pret a tout pour sauver ses amis
Eren will achieve his goal (end the cycle of hatred)
Hope for humanity outside the walls. Dawn for me is something like hope, even if today was a bad day, tomorrow, after dawn, things might get better. Maybe the Warriors-Paradis alliance will somehow reach Eren and stop the Rumbling?
dunno but got the vibes of ‘it’s darkest before the dawn’ might be a tip for a change coming
Eren has now officially started eradicating the world and also it's dark ideas against people on paradise and conquering freedom for his people and that is why this moment onwards is "the dawn of humanity "
Dawn for Eldians to be exact. Dusk for Marleyans.
Finally defeating Eren, ending the curse of Ymir and freeing everyone from the shadow of Titan powers.
Dawn of Terror? Dawn of "What The FUCK Is That??" Dawning that the remaining places of humanity are to be trampled?
It could refer to a ""dawn"" for the alliance, who intend for neither side of the conflict to be eradicated, as they believe everyone is part of ""humanity"". Despite their deliberation at the beginning of the chapter, the fact that they're finally setting sail to stop Eren is testament that they've not lost their hope in the pursuit of this ideal, hence they can be interpreted to be the ""dawn"".
Eldians in Paradis Island being free from the wrath of outsiders and being avenged
I think it refers to a new beginning a new start for the eldians living on the island or it can be used as an ironic way that the humanity outside the walls is going to end so it's complete destruction hence the beginning of the new cycle
The Rumbling & Historia's child, humanity's destruction and its rebirth
Continuation of "End's Eve" as this is the dawn of the day where humanity fights for its continued existence
"Dawn" refers to Humanity's realisation of many things. Eg: how Eldia is not a weak nation, how the Rumbling wasn't a lie, how people are people and they are all the same - wanting to live and shedding the same blood no matter what nationality they have. "Humanity" refers to those still alive and realizing these things.
Dawn of the final day - 24 hours remain
  WHAT ARE THE FUTURE IMPLICATIONS OF ANNIE DECIDING SHE'S TIRED OF FIGHTING AND NO LONGER WANTS TO STOP EREN?
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Despite learning that her hometown is doomed, just over half of respondents feel confident Annie will stay the course and continue to work with the alliance. Among the rest of responses, 27.4% think this will trigger Annie’s exodus, selecting “Annie will leave the alliance and try to be with her father,” 16.9% believe this will cause Annie to do something stupid resulting in her death, and lastly 4% of the fandom believe this bad news will trigger Annie’s homicidal instincts causing her to switch sides and join Eren.
Annie saying she didn't want to have to be prepared to fight mikasa, Connie, armin, jean, Reiner and eren again made me feel sad for her ;-;
I just wanna say that it wouldn't make any sense for Isayana to bring Annie back and then write her out so it's obvious she will continue in the alliance lol (but I don't really agree with any of the options offered, I think she will decide by herself to stay)
Poor Annie's breakdown made me feel terrible for her. I still think she wants to leave but I think there are chances of the Warriors and/or Armin convincing her to stay and fight. As one of the nine shifters, she kinda has the responsibility to fight, even if she doesn't want to, and I get completely why she doesn't want to, poor thing. I have a sneaky suspicion that she might choose Porco's way out and we might yet see a new holder of the Female Titan power. :(
  WHAT WILL BE THE FATES OF THE ELDIANS IN LIBERIO, SPECIFICALLY THE WARRIORS' FAMILIES?
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When asked about the residents of Liberio and the fate of the Warriors’ families, a combined 58% believe that they are alive for the moment selecting that they were evacuated (39.3%) or else managed to escape (18.4%). Close to 30% aren’t so optimistic, believing Liberio is flattened and they are dead. We also had plenty of write in responses:
They are going to die, but I can see Annie meeting her father and die together in each others arm by the rumbling. It's sad I know, but it would be a fitting end for both of them :(
They are probably arrive. Either they overcame the Marleyan authorities that tried to surpress, or The Rumbling avoided Liberio entirely. I just doubt they would kill off Mr. Leonhardt offscreen.
They may have started to fight the Marleyans and then ended up flattened by the titans since they didn't escape earlier.
They took a ship to the south and we will meet them including Reiner's family  and Mr. Leonhart.
Am I supposed to feel sorry for these people? I don't. The Warriors don't deserve happy endings for everything they have done.
Bands of survivors have made it out but Annie will meet her dad when he is dead or dying
some died while revolting, some are alive, annie's dad is wounded
They're currently fineish because Eren didn't go where Hange was expecting, hence why all their estimations have been off
I mean, they must be alive somehow. It seemed  that there were only soldiers in Liberio and the others evacuated so I'm hopeful that at least Annie's father survived
I want to have hope ;-;
I just want Annie to see her father again, and for Reiner to get what he wants.
What if the city Eren attacked isn't Liberio? I feel like it's too important to be flattened just like that (thematical resonance + too many side-characters like Eren's own grandfather are there) and we're being misled about the place Eren is attacking.
  HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT HISTORIA'S STANCE ON THE RUMBLING?
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Many of us had expectations about Historia going into this chapter. Her initially disagreeing outright with the rumbling but seemingly giving in was a surprise to 8.4% who thought she would have been all for it all along, and 19.9% who never expected her to agree with it at all. 6.4% of you expected her to do the opposite of what is implied, with agreeing at first but changing her mind in the conversation, while 23.3% reported expecting the exact turn of events. However, a huge 41.5% of you aren’t taking everything at face value and do not believe Historia does or has ever supported the rumbling.
  DO YOU BELIEVE EREN IS THE FATHER?
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After almost 2 years of the fandom fighting over the identity of Historia’s baby daddy, this chapter has finally definitively proven that… we still know nothing. Nonetheless, the narrowly winning belief (37%) is that Eren is the father, closely followed by those who believe he is not the father (34.4%). Some are unsure what to make of the situation (18.2%), and some of you don’t care enough to speculate (10.4%).
there is a TON of hints, him being the father makes prefect sense.
i will bet on my freedom that eren is the father
Historia x Eren ftw!
Eren being the father would be the most meaningful for both the story, as well as for Eren and Historia and their chemistry together if you ask me, though I can accept otherwise.
Whoever disagrees eren is the father doesn't read the manga seriously
I have not any positive thoughts about Eren-Historia's flashback. Just pain, I feel pain for her. I don't get the point to destroy her character like that.
I really hope Eren isn’t the father — it just doesn’t seem right.
I don't believe Eren is the father since it will contradict what he said to Zeke: "I'm only left with 4 years"
Sorry shippers, I don't think we'll ever get a straight answer about who's the father. But I kinda prefer it that way, because then we'll each get to decide what we thinks is correct.
IF YOU DONT STOP THIS I WANNA MAKE BABIES WITH YOU
Still don't care about who's the father
Who is the father?
  HOW HAVE YOUR FEELINGS ON THIS CHANGED DUE TO THIS CHAPTER?
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35% went into the chapter thinking Eren was not the father and 30% believing he was, with this chapter doing nothing to change their minds. For those who were affected, this chapter influenced 14.2% to join the team #DaddyEren and 5.6% to burn their membership card. The remaining 15% don’t care enough to speculate.
If Eren is the father, I think it's possible Historia wanted his baby to keep a part of him with her after the rumbling is over, or perhaps it was an attempt to make him want to come back when he's done or even not commit genocide.
why does everyone keep saying Eren is the Father confirmed? There is literally no evidence to support that, and it actually contradicts Erens statement when Zeke discusses Mikasas feelings towards him.
I just want Eren to be the father
Historia's pregnancy smacks of her own plan but I'm not sure Eren is on board with it.
I want confirmation on the father cause if it's not eren ima be pissed off
don't care who the father is, whole world is ending.
I can't stand the mystery surrounding Historia's pregnancy anymore, this is worse than serum bowl.
WHO THE FUCK IS THE FATHER
  SO THEN WHAT'S THE REAL DEAL WITH HISTORIA'S PREGNANCY?
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“What’s the deal with Historia’s pregnancy?” Jerry Seinfeld asks. But we cannot answer – we can only sustain ourselves on memes and ship wars. Despite Eren and Historia’s somewhat uneasy conversation, a solid third of you are still pretty sure that Eren is the baby’s father. A little over a fifth of you think she did the dirty with Farmer-kun instead. And another fifth is convinced something else is going on (watermelon baby?), but aren’t sure what. Some of you scream to the sky, sick of all the drama. And a few of you wouldn’t rule out a baby created through PATHS. It might be Ymir’s doing! No, not that Ymir. THAT Ymir.
Historia is playing 5d chess I just know it. I just don't know how yet
Why'd Historia act like that if Eren wasn't the father?
ymir is the father
Eren has to be the father for the good dev of eren & historia characters
I really hope the pregnancy thing is just a red herring, but it wouldn't be the first-time Isayama appealed to fan-service if not.
If I see more speculation on whether Eren is the father I'm gonna puke. I mean how about focus on the real story? Like how the world is about to be destroyed??
We need more Historia. We literally need her POV for the story to make sense right now. I can't believe that with ""5% of the plot"" left Isayama is *still* pulling this all this time? There *has* to be more.
I always knew Mikasa was the father
  WHY DO YOU THINK HISTORIA IS PROPOSING A PREGNANCY?
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Despite a majority of respondents believing the pregnancy is authentic, there is no consensus as to why Historia would propose it. The most popular answer when asked was “I don’t know” (32.2%). The remainder of the fandom is split between Historia proposing the pregnancy in support of Eren (23.1%), as part of an alternative plan (21%) or as an act of defiance against Eren (17.6%). Only a small percentage (6.1%) believe she actually wants a child.
What the hell is the pregnancy for? It doesnt make any sense for Historia to suggest that all of a sudden
How did getting eren and historia's conversation make things more confusing😔Like what went through historia's mind when she thought of having a baby i-
What if the "what if I have a child" scene with Historia actually happened EARLIER than the rest of the conversation? It would explain why they switched places, and if Eren really is the father, would explain why he feels he has such a say in Historia's child's future ("even if you agree, I don't" ) , and why when he spoke about the MPs he said "WE have two options: fight or run". It would also give him a  motivation to oppose his friends, since they are trying to stop him.
I don't see his conversation with Historia in romantic light. She was scared of him and Eren was trying to manipulate her with her own words about being ""the worst girl on the world"". We still miss some important parts of their conversation, but if she agreed to help him because he reminded her how ""the worst girl"" she was, then I would be very disappointed. I saw her as strong woman and I hope she will not turn to be a mild sheep who isn't brave enough to follow Ymir's wish and ""live her life with pride"" (or ""live sticking her chest out"").
I have no idea for which purpose Historia want to become pregnant, but I'm glad that I was right that she decide it for herself and doesn't get forced at all!
Historia has a trick up her sleeve and I can't wait to see what it is.
  WE LEARNED WHAT ZEKE REALLY TOLD EREN ABOUT THE ACKERBOND. ARE YOU SATISFIED WITH EVERYTHING WE HAVE LEARNED ABOUT THE ACKERMAN CLAN?
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75% of the fandom wants more resolution to the Ackermysteries with 38.4% wanting MOAR and 32.3% wanting at least a little more. Only 22.3% are satisfied with the ackercrumbs we’ve been tossed and 7% have no opinion.
love guru zook
ackerman bond means LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!! sweet for all ackerman related shippers ohhhh
I'm satisfied to see yet another example of people trying to pin eren's BS onto zeke (with the ackerman theories) be proven completely wrong
Mikasa's charachter wouldve been a lot more interesting if her ackerman genes had an effect on her decision making and her trying to overcome them would be a lot more intriguing to see. Instead it turned out to be some lovey dovey pancake bullshit. I mean what would Zeke even know about Mikasa??
WHAT IS UP WITH HISTORIAS PREGNANCY AND ACKERMANS BLOOD AHHHHH
I think the fact that the Ackermans can access the Paths without being shifters is going to be super relevant. My pet theory is that Mikasa will be able to cross into the Paths dimension to kill Eren and truly free Ymir Fritz, but let's see how that goes.
  HOW ACCURATE WAS ZEKE'S ASSESSMENT OF MIKASA'S FEELINGS TOWARD EREN?
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One of the few areas of agreement in this chapter was with Zeke’s assessment of Mikasa’s feelings towards Eren. Close to 80% think that despite having never met Mikasa in person, Zeke correctly understands that Mikasa’s concern for Eren has little to do with genetics and everything to do with reasons of the heart. However, the majority of people who took the option of writing in their answer cited both as a factor in Mikasa’s bond.
Eren, when your sadistic and bloodthirsty big bro can see how much Mikasa loves you, you probably should take it seriously lol
Zeke. Is. Big. Bro
He's a lying liar who lies.
usually when panels sway to the right, they are true, so I believe this is the case.
Did anybody honestly not already know this? We learned nothing new from this as far as I'm concerned.
Mikasa really cares for Eren but the Ackerman genes amplify her love for him.
Everybody's emotional attachments have some basis in biology. It doesn't make them any less real or meaningful
we learn Zeke ships eremika 🤔unexpected but naice
The ackerman blood does boost her physical abilities but i believe it doesn't affect her mentally (she probably has ptsd and seperation anxiety)
What is between Eren and Mikasa?There is something we still Dont know.I wish for more Mikasa....
I think the bond itself is clearly related to her trauma but the intensity of it probably has more to do with her Ackerman genes
Both ? Even tho Ackerman genes could have a big part in it
I think Mikasa loves Eren but it's not JUST romantic or JUST familial.
Her devotion is strong on its own- but her Ackerman abilities definitely have played a role in her saving his ass all these years.
Very accurate, he is Love Master Zook.
Only  a fool believe that shit regarding Ackerman bonds and so on. [...] The hate speech I believe is some kind of Eren pathetic attempt to release her of her feelings towards himself, just in case the worst scenario is coming up in not too far future.
The Ackerman instincts amplified her love towards Eren.
Zeke was right [...] As much as Mikasa being ready to snap titans necks in two for Eren is due to her love for him, Eren being willing to go through with a world genocide to prevent Historia's sacrifice definitely results from his love for her.
  HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT THE PLACEMENT OF FLASHBACKS DURING THIS CHAPTER?
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The majority of the fandom really enjoyed the inception-like flashbacks, but 1/5th just found it confusing as all hell. A sixth of the fandom is just fed up with Isayama blue-balling us. We’ve been in this relationship 10+ years, Yams, it’s time for you to give it up!
Loved the interwoven flashbacks, and made sense considering a lot of the "unknown" conversations(Eren with Yelena, Floch, Historia....) all tie into each other. Made sense to them like this, and plus there is still some mystery from his talk with Historia.
E-H convo should've been shown months ago; now is not the time for flashbacks.
Just Yams trolling the shippers
The confusing flashbacks also reflect Eren's state of mind. The placement was well done.
I don't mind it, but i feel Isayama was, to a certain degree, struggling to work all of this information organically into the story, so he was forced to choose this flashback method to get it out there.
The juxtaposition is very purposeful, while I don’t necessarily like what it implies, it is indeed impactful.
The way the flashbacks were placed would look amazing in the anime, but in manga format it looks a lot more confusing!
People might say this is Isayama being mysterious and showing us everything but revealing nothing as he always does, and yeah and if this was 10 chapters ago I might see that as a positive, but this late into the series it feels like it was just a waste of a chapter.
They were good because they connected with each-other; though I had to reread the chapter several times to distinguish who was talking because it flipped so much.
These kinds of chapters are slightly annoying in the moment, but are more than worth it in the long run.
The Historia flashbacks are confusing af
  WHAT IS THE MEANING BEHIND EREN IMPLYING HE "WANTED THIS", REGARDING THE FUTURE OF THE RUMBLING?
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Continuing Eren’s ongoing theme of the question of free will and determinism, this chapter presented us with the possibility that Eren wanted everything that has happened from the start. Depending on your interpretation, of course. The majority of respondents to this question (54.7%) believe that Eren has been convincing himself there was no other possible future due to seeing said future play out in front of his very eyes, and 17.1% somewhat similarly believe Eren did not want this in the conventional sense, and he is an unreliable narrator. A smaller 12% believe this is confirmation that Eren’s vengeful nature caused this, closely followed by 9.5% of you who just think he is a lunatic.
Despite him talking as if this future was fated to happen he still seems aware enough that his own decisions still led to this outcome. From his perspective  all of this was meant to happen because he already saw his future memories, but he doesnt deny that the path he took was still by his own will.
Eren said from the start he would, "destroy them all." He hated being a slave. I think he *does want this. He wants whatever will guarantee freedom.
Both future can't be changed AND Eren is a fucking lunatic
Even if the future could be changed Eren preferred the full rumbling
He literally had no option from the very beginning , his actions is definitely justified .
it's probably all the attack titan's will, not his.
he's trying to fool himself into thinking he never changed
Eren has accepted that the future cannot be changed, and has realized that the unchangeable future is the future that he has always wanted
Eren is so close-minded & immature
I've given up trying to understand Eren's logic. It's just too bizarre. I will wait until the story is finished to form any opinion about him.
Eren was bored in his original universe and wanted humanity to have a threat so he made the aot universe via Ymir and became that threat himself.
Even if a significant part of Eren wants to eradicate his enemies out of rage/revenge, really deep down it’s been shown he wishes there was another solution but right now he doesn’t want to admit he’s surrendered to his destiny. So Isayama’s going to come back to this by having Eren admit to himself he isn’t really free/this isn't what he wants, which will be the culmination of his character arc (what will he do then?…).
Eren kinda forgot about the mothers
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  THIS BURST OF PANELS SHOWS A VARIETY OF SCENES FROM EREN'S POV, BUT SOME SCENES APPEAR TO BE FROM A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE OR ENTIRELY NEW SCENES. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
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Nearly 45% of the people who voted, thought it was a deus ex machina move from Founding Titan by Proxy, which granted Eren a glimpse at all Eldians’ memories. Almost a third think that Eren was actually able to control their memories. 14% of all voters are just “wtf…? I dunno” at all the Pathsnanigans.
I don't know and I don't like it. Hope it isn't another pathsfuckery while all I want in life is KRUEGER'S POV.
Eren's path shit also implies the story has always been bending to that moment too. From the pigs, to even Dina from that Bert shard. If it's ever revealed he orchestrated Carla's death to stimulate Grisha and Eren's hatred, the whole demonisation of RBA gets turned on his head.
I don't like the idea that Eren controlled the Smiling Titan but it's starting to feel more and more likely...
The second one except it WILL come up again cause it’s fucking Isayama like tf do you expect lmao
The new POV scenes are definitely intentional but I hope the explanation isn't some magical PATHS stuff where he orchestrated characters (like Dina's) actions or is suddenly an all-seeing almighty being. Grisha was enough pls.
DUDE, THIS MEANS THAT BIRD HAS P A T H S!
dumb answer choice
FT/Ymir lets Eren see the memories of all Eldians. It will come up again. I don't get some of the angles/perspectives though.
It's possible some of these things haven't happened yet, or that Eren has access to the memories of more shifters somehow. For example, Berthold might be a memory Annie or Reiner have and Eren will receive if he eats one of them while they try to stop him.
I have absolutely no idea what the deal is with the Falco and Bertolt memories but I'm sure they're not inconsistency errors considering the care that went into showing that the Mikasa/Grisha/Levi etc. panels are clearly from Eren's POV. I expect answers really soon (and no, I do not think he controlled Dina’s titan to kill Carla, that would be pure character assassination). Hange's panel looks like it's from the future, as well as Mikasa's unfamous 'see you later'. The geese are also interesting but I have no mindblowing theories about them unfortunately..
Excited to see from where Hange without glasses memories from though.
Eren is the air, the trees, the birbs, everything
Marcel is more like to come back from the dead before I ever understand half the shit inside Eren’s head.
If Eren somehow got his mother killed that'll be the ultimate bruh moment
  THIS CHAPTER SHOWED US ANOTHER MEMORY OF FEZ-KUN, FINDING HIMSELF IN TROUBLE AGAIN. WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE MEANING BEHIND HIS HIDDEN STORY?
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The mystery of the Fez persists once again, with this being the tenth chapter since he was first shown. Though by a small margin, the consensus is that the purpose of his story is to reaffirm Eren’s determination to wipe out the world at 44.8%, with 33.4% of respondents believing he will be a tie to Eren’s compassion and remorse for what he is doing, and 17.1% believing it highlights Eren’s inherent hypocrisy for caring for him even though he will die by his actions later. Many write-in options expressed confusion at who this kid is.
Eren believes that suffering and oppression of minorities will never end just by small acts of kindness and simular "passive" acts, like what Levi did, it does not provide a long term solution or prevent Fez-kun'sfrom furder torments, which is why Eren feels like the extreme solution of the rumbling is his only option
Eren gave a mission to Fez-kun
Eren using another kid to get his way without caring about his life. What else is new.
He's the "even someone on the street" part of Kruger's advice to love someone to break the cycle of tragedy.
He’s showing that little boy he has to fight to survive, like he did with Mikasa when they were kids.
I think he found himself in trouble again (he looks to be bruised on the cheek in 120) and Eren will come to his rescue. However I think Eren will not just save him by beating up or killing the Marleyans, but inspiring the Fez kid to take action and "fight" just like he did with Mikasa. This arc has had a lot of focus on the almost inhumane level of violence Eren showed as a kid when killing those kidnappers, so I can see that being for the purpose of a direct parallel where Eren pressured the kid with the fez to stand up for himself.
I think Eren saved Fez-kun of those guys, but then he will kill him later, showing his own hypocrisy (those guys can't do bad to a child but I can).
I expect his shard(s) to contrast the other previously unknown panel from 120: Historia’s shard was revealed to be yet another instance of Eren manipulating a friend by putting his desires above her own, thus robbing her of her free-will. I hope that Fez-kun symbolizes the "beauty in a cruel world"
It show that Eren just have an other plan and not just kill everyone for no reason???? Lest not be that blind :) what esle u want to understund thats an option too? you want isayama to told u?
maybe eren intends for some people to escape when he announced the rumbling which allows people to prepare themselves, idk.
Eren will save their family and he told Fez to lead his family to a certain location that the rumbling won't reach?
What are all these crappy options? He represents Eren’s journey to changing his viewpoint about everyone being an enemy, as he told Reiner.
Just thought he was part of the collage of events, no further meaning.
Who’s Fez-kun
  SWIMMING TITANS?
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88% of you welcome your Swimming Titan overlords, but 12% aren’t so convinced - there’s a pretty even chance it’s because the image is just too absurd, too terrifying, or a pants-wetting combination of both.
SWIMMING TITANS
swimming titans
Seeing those colossal titans was crazy
The panel of the titan swimming underneath that ship haunts me in my dreams.
HELL YEAH FUCKING SWIMMING TITANS
  WHEN THE MILITARY SIGHTS ERENSAURUS AT THE END, RATHER THAN CALLING IT THE FOUNDING TITAN OR EREN JAEGER, THEY RECOGNISE IT AS THE ATTACK TITAN. WHY?
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Despite the threat of Eren Jaeger previously being referred to by name or as “the Founding Titan”, this chapter encapsulated the horror of the allied forces as they recognised it as the Attack Titan. The plurality (40.3%) is that this was just for the purpose of Isayama being able to drop a “Shingeki no Kyojin” in this climactic chapter, though a close second option (34%) is that there is historical information to distinguish the Attack Titan from the others. 15.2% of you believe the Attack Titan is the Titan Bogeyman for Marleyans, and 10.4% attribute the naming to the fact that it’s attacking them, duh.
I think the Maryleans/World Forces knew it was the Attack Titan bc of the Eldians in Marley (like Annie's dad) warning them ahead of time. I think once they realized The Rumbling was happening, they asked for more deets from the folks who heard Eren's message in the Path's Realm.
I wonder why the rest of the world was only  using Mikasa ships instead of various ships lol
IT CAN'T BE STOPPED ANYMORE
  NOW THAT WE FINALLY GOT TO SEE EREN'S SPINE-CHILLING (BADUM-TSS) FORM, WHAT DID YOU THINK?
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This manga has turned into a horror show, and y’all seem to be loving it, according to over fifty percent. Thirty percent are aghast at the sight before them, and nearly a tenth of you don’t really know what to think of the Grim Reaper titan yet. Some of you wanted something more fully formed, but this creepy crawly is freaky enough, isn’t it? Let’s just be glad none of us live in Marley right now.
My jaw dropped when I saw Eren’s titan form. Horrific.
I love Erensaurus a lot. This chapter gave the same level of anxiety that Zeke's attack in Shiganshina gave me. Good
YEAH EREN IS SCARY AS FUCK I LOVE IT MORE FREEDOM MORE FREEDOM MORE FREEDOM
Eren's titan looks a little like the earth devil
Did Eren pick the design of his new Titan or did Ymir just give it to him?
Really interested in where it is going especially because Eren's Titan got lips which could be an indicator for it to have the ability to speak
Eren’s Founding Titan form looks like something out of Silent Hill
I'm not saying anything about Eren's titan. What even the actual fuck, Yams
Oh lawd he comin
  WHY IS EREN'S CURRENT TITAN FORM A SKELETON WITH NO FLESH?
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Eren is looking awfully spooky right now. That’s a good sign, isn’t it? I guess looking like a death metal album cover is better than looking like whatever Rod Reiss was supposed to be. 34.9% figure that as this is probably the largest titan ever, it’s just too big for flesh. It’s not like PATHS sand is infinite, after all. 34.6% think that the form is incomplete because of the missing titan powers; this is only a third of his potential scariness! 23% think there’s no real reason he looks like this. Not an in-story reason anyway. Finally, 7.6% think Eren is still not done forming this devilish beast.
Eren's upper skeleton body thing looks like wings of freedom...
The reason Eren's body was like this, if he was muscular, he would radiate a lot of heat, so the Allience's couldn't reach him. But now, no muscle, no heat. They can reach easily.
Eren's form is creepy as hell! I also think he might be dead/dying/the titan now.
Seriously, how the fuck does Eren's Titan move?
When a shifter generates a titan body, they need to have a special task or purpose in mind. Is Eren's titan meant to be a bridge between Paradis Island and the continent?
  WHAT IS ISAYAMA TRYING TO SAY WITH THE PUPPET-LIKE MOTIF OF EREN'S TITAN?
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Many have noticed the puppet-like strings connecting Eren’s torso and head to his stegosaurus spikes in the final panel (though not in the first shot we get of Eren -- we’ll just ignore that), but what does it mean? Him being a slave to himself (38%) just edged out him being a slave to fate (36.7%), with a slim minority (3.3%) believing Ymir could be the true puppeteer. Of course, there are the 21.9% of you who are remaining steadfast in the belief that Eren is NOT a slave, he is FREE.
He is a slave to the future memories and instead of trying to find a different way, he is convincing himself that this is what he wants from the start to compensate for how little freedom he has.
He's trying to justify to himself that he isn't a slave
Eren is a slave to that sweet sweet feeling of self-righteous rage.
Ymir might be acting through Eren.
I think eren has become a vessel for ymir and it's ymirs will that we're hearing.
  WHERE IS EREN'S HUMAN BODY MOST LIKELY RESIDING?
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The results for this are a mixed bag, with the three most popular answers extremely close in votes. It’s most agreed upon (29.1%) that Eren has no human form, and has merged with the Titan on some level, with a close second (28.8%) being him being separated from the Titan but not in the conventional sense, and using the Warhammer Titan power to operate it from the ocean. 27.9% of you believe he is in the standard position of the nape, and only 14.2% of you believe the head of the Attack Titan could be his true location.
So, does Eren now only have his head left or was he fully healed thanks to Ymir?
where is Eren (No,not his titan)? There is no nape on that thing, just bone
I NEED TO KNOW HOW EREN IS TRANSPORTING HIMSELF
  THE CHAPTER ENDS WITH CHILD EREN'S DETERMINATION TO "DESTROY THEM" OVERLAPPING WITH ADULT EREN COMMANDING THE RUMBLING. WHICH STATEMENT IS THE MOST ACCURATE REGARDING THIS COMPARISON?
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This curious panelling choice ends the chapter, giving us a peek at Eren’s inner monologue – but in true Isayama fashion it’s not clear exactly what it means. 45.6% believe it shows that Eren hasn’t fundamentally changed the way he views the world, his will and titan powers giving him the means to influence it. 26.4% think it’s a reminder of Eren’s tragic tendency to believe that peace cannot exist without the complete elimination of an opposing force. 16.8% think it demonstrates Eren’s willing or unwilling continuation of the cycle of hatred and revenge. Finally, 9.1% think there’s a hint here that Eren’s childhood self was cursed with thoughts from his future mind.
ALL OF THE ABOVE
All of the above, minus the P A T H S.
I hate eren do the same thing as what he had been through
It's Eren's tendency to lose himself to the desire for vengeance, which in the mange is always depicted as leading to a catastrophe in the end.
His childhood trauma comes back to him when he sees a loved one die / about to die and feels the powerlessness of having been unable to do anything because of being weak. Then pain and anger return for this reason
It's a parallel showing his determination to fight back against those who would deny he and his comrades their freedom.
It is once again Eren reassuring himself he's doing what's right, by telling himself that the cycle of hatred is what's causing this and that he needs to break it
The thoughts are child Eren, simply overlapping with the current situation. It may not be adult Eren’s thoughts.
THIS BITCH CRAZY.
I just want to say that the history is repeating its self . What we thought it was the past it's actually the future
He is using this memory of his mother being eaten to motivate himself, like a main drive. It's not the first time. Anger/Rage was always the main drive that he used to keep fighting/seeking for freedom
This is already similar to some of the options presented, but I like the idea that this is showing deep down he is driven by his childlike rage, and as much as he tries to convince himself it's for his friends, he really just wants to revel in violence because he's broken and he thinks wiping everyone out is the only way he will be at peace.
  THIS CHAPTER ALSO PRESENTED US WITH TWO ALMOST DICHOTOMIC MOTIVATIONS FOR EREN, BETWEEN LOVE FOR HIS FRIENDS AND HATE FOR THE ENEMY, BUT WHICH DO YOU BELIEVE IS THE STRONGER DRIVING FORCE?
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The two most powerful and conflicting emotions driving Eren right now have the fanbase somewhat split over what pushes him further. It seems that most are optimistic about Eren’s prime motivation being the wellbeing of his friends at 59.7%. Meanwhile 40.3% believe that Eren’s love for his friends has been eclipsed by the roiling hatred and thirst for vengeance within him. Even at this point in the story, it’s hard to be absolutely certain – safe to say Eren is a real menace when he feels this strongly about anything.
I feel like I finally fully understand Eren's mindset, even though there is probably still more to his POV. He just wants his friends to be happy and live long lives, so he had to push them away especially after Sasha's death.
This chapter Eren can't disentangle love from fear/hate/loss due to what happened to his mother, which is why his feelings about his friends now manifest so destructively.
Eren's memory chain went from remembering his friends smiling, to Sasha's death and Fez-kun being beat up, and eventually to his mother's death and his vow to kill all titans, showing that deep down he knows his motivation to protect his friends is bullshit and that his "enemies" are mostly innocents, but he keeps moving forward due to hatred and revenge.
Eren has never healed his trauma. It was "eating" him slowly and turned him into this he hated the most - a devilish monster.
I think the chapter settled very well that revenge surpass even his wish of protect his friends
The transition to Eren's pov and the fact we didn't learn anything new beside some basic confirmations, is really strange. And if Eren ends killing the friends he wanted to protect, he will be a complete disappointment. I really am afraid of SnK's ending.
"I want my friends to live long happy lives" he says after treating them like shit, breaking their spirit, and partially ruining their home island with millions of titans. I hope he doesn't act surprised when they show up to stop him (assuming they can catch up of course).
I don't believe the word "animals" align with Eren's current perspective, nor how he sees his "enemies". He holds the same ideals as he did as a child, but realises the nuance of his enemies and how people on both sides are ultimately the same. He just believes this radical action is the only necessary way to end an unstoppable inter-generational conflict in his lifetime so these problems aren't handed down to future generations anymore.
he's being driven both by hatred and love, but right now his rage is winning and he's using the safety of his friends and Eldia as an excuse to appease his conscience.
  ON A SCALE FROM "SECRET PLAN" TO "KILL 'EM ALL", WHERE DO YOU STAND ON EREN'S TRUE INTENTIONS?
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This chapter all but confirmed that Eren indeed plans to wipe out the entire outside world for most of the fandom. The majority are skewed towards the opinion of Eren definitely rumbling everything, with less and less respondents holding onto hope that Eren has an alternate plan.
Eren wants this rumbling and he's ready to sacrifice others to get what he wants, even his friends.
I gotta say, I thought Eren would've had a real plan that wasn't just massacring everyone else on the planet. I was already against the plan, but I suspected he'd walk the other side of the ocean and then announce to the world that the existence of titans was no more and destroy all the titans as proof, and all the shifters would just be normal people again.
His goal is to wipe the titans out of this world, and not to flatten it.
I support the rumbling, cause Marley deserved this by trying to eliminate Paradis, but at the same time there are so many good people there(including eldians themselves) that haven't done anything wrong. Military and leaders of marley should be eliminated, but not the poor people that had no choice.
This hateful world is needed to be purged and I support Eren for this. And when Rumbling is over that beast piece of sh** must die by Levi's hand.
I thought eren had a secret plan for the rumbling but after getting his pov this chapter looks like he really is going for it
Somehow, I can't shake off the feeling that we still haven't seen 100% of Eren's plan, there is still some twist waiting. I am not trying to justify Eren's current actions, it's more like ""if there is something that will throw this whole scenario upside down it better come up soon, because right now IT DOESN'T LOOK GOOD"".
I want to believe thtat Eren has a secret plan in the rumbling but the chapter says that this is what he wanted, he had always been like this, he was always “free” sadly, he’s enslaved by his beliefs of freedom that he resorts to these drastic measures.
I think that this chapter confirms two things: one, the Rumbling is Eren's true plan [...] BUT two, there is "something beyond that hell", which is the "scenery" Eren says he saw in ch. 121. I think it's the endgame after the Rumbling is stopped (no way is it going to be completed), and it's what caused both Grisha and Historia to go along with his plan in the end even though they didn't agree with it and thought it was awful. Eren's "everything is still ahead" and the weird cut in Historia's flashback are too... strange and seem to point to this being a game changer and the final plot point of the series.
If the rumble will succeed, then I've spent 7 chapters seeing characters do nothing to accomplish nothing. I don't wanna feel my time wasted.
I unironically want Eren to kill everyone outside the walls. Nuff said.
  WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THE REPEATED BIRD IMAGERY?
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Birds are a focal point of this chapter, with the combination of a four-panel tracking of a soaring seagull and a flash of a memory of some nearby geese. The majority of respondents (62.5%) believe the birds simply tie into the theme of, and likely Eren’s motivation of freedom. In a distant second (20.9%) is the answer that it relates to the idea of everyone being connected under the same sky, a fitting motif amidst this chapter’s exploration of the conflict as well as unity of different groups. 12.7% of you are hopping on board the “Eren is a bird now” train, and 4% of you just really don’t like birds.
The two birds from the Paths panels appear in episode 1 of the anime iirc, not sure about the manga though.
Eren is bird confirmed thank  <°^°>
I like the Bird Theory that says he’s transferring his consciousness to a bird. yeah it sounds a bit odd but it’s interesting and I’m willing to accept anything at this point
The birds are secret surveillance cameras
I like birds
idk man this shit is confusing as hell.as for falco thing i think eren has become the bird. anything can happen at this point.
Eren is the Eagle we see in the chapter 91 that Falco says to fly away lmao
  THIS CHAPTER HAD SOME AMAZING ART, SHOWCASED IN THE MANY DOUBLE SPREADS (EXACTLY 9... OH GOD WHAT DOES IT MEAN ISAYAMA??) WHICH WAS YOUR FAVORITE DOUBLE SPREAD?
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Whether it was the break back in May, or Isayama’s dedication to highlighting this chapter’s importance, the art has definitely taken a step up and blown us all away. Though it is very split, the final double spread showcasing the commencing of the rumbling garnered the most votes (18.2%). At second (15.7%) was the imposing silhouettes of colossal titans rising from the ocean, and at a very close third (15.5%) was the very next spread, of these titans wiping out the battleships as casually as if they were wading through seaweed. If there’s one thing to make of this from what the winners have in common, we have all definitely been waiting to see the rumbling for a while.
Isayama's improvement as an artist it's inspirational.
the art is god tier
Those Rumbling pages are so gorgeous they make me wanna say "Kill them all, Eren ! Destroy the fucking world !"
Mappa has their work cut out for themselves
MAPPA's fucked lol I hope they're up to the task.
That Attack Titan spread has the single GREATEST bit of shading in this entire manga.
Solid Art, phenomenal design and usage of double spreads
I just wanted to add that this is visually one of the most beautiful chapters I've seen in a while. The colossals, holy shit. I can't wait to see this animated. All of those double-page spreads were pretty fantastic but I have to say there's nothing quite like the chill that runs down your spine when you see all those colossals emerging from the smoke and the mist, where you see for the first time how huge and terrible they are (and also when you realise the first line of defense is already down). I had legit goosebumps.
  CHAPTER 130 MARKS THE END OF A VOLUME, WHICH HAS BEEN FILLED WITH ALLIANCE-FOCUSED CHAPTERS. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS NOW THAT WE'VE FINALLY RETURNED TO EREN?
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After six consecutive chapters focusing on the alliance with no Eren, the majority of you (57.6%) are relieved to finally move beyond the alliance, though have enjoyed the recent chapters, with 20.4% being completely over the alliance. 7.4% say they were originally sceptical but the chapters did well to make the alliance likeable to them, and 14.6% are open to more chapters just focused on the alliance.
Please for the love of God more of this and less of the alliance, the alliance was so rushed and as it's continued it hasn't been developed much further beyond plot convenience. The less of that I have to read before I get to read amazing stuff like 130 the better
i wanted more on the alliance, not flashbacks smh
it was something enjoyable after a while. Especially 126 made me grimace all over the volume till 130 came up. Not saying I was waiting for Eren but it was so cheesy.
Eren chapters are written worse than Alliance ones
This chapter single handedly made up for the below average, cringe-inducing chapters 126-129 Alliance bullshit. I have faith Isayama will create a very satisfying ending for this series now.
This chapter was legit a great way to end the volume off, it truly feels like its really the beginning of the end
  DESCRIBE THIS CHAPTER IN ONE WORD
The top 5 write-ins are below, followed by the average chapter score for each description. This months’ average chapter score was 4.59.
Amazing [4.89]
Epic [4.84]
Eren/Ereh [4.69]
Rumbling [4.46]
Confusing [3.88]
Honorable mention: Ragnarok
We’d also like to mention that there were a lot of write-ins related to genitals and coitus… seems like y’all were really hyped up by that first fanlation >.>
  WHAT ARE YOU MOST HOPING TO SEE NEXT CHAPTER?
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Despite this chapter theoretically giving us everything we had hoped for in a while, the responses show that we still want to have WAY MORE answers (34.6%), MORE Historia (16.9%) and MORE rumbling action (14.5%). We’d also like to know where on earth Zeke is and if Floch is going to be the little troublemaker that we know and have strong feelings about. Will the boat make it to Odiha? Will Levi do a thing? Stay tuned!
There's still some mystery that have yet to answer and I want answers
Where the fuck is Zeke
WHERE. IS. LEVI.
i want more eren, historia and zeke. They're interesting. I don't care about the alliance.
"Zekey-dekey-doo, where are you?" ...I'm so done with you guys.
need update on zeke and historia's situation.
I want it to end soon #TeamEren
I expect in the next chapter something more around the alliance and maybe (hopefully) Floch's comeback!
Enough of Hisu, she is just a side character.
Want more Rumbling
All I can say is, I'm beyond anxious to see how the series ends, and it's eating me up inside.
  WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES?
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Most of our lovely respondents are rambunctious Redditors as usual, followed by a fair few from the flock on Twitter, distinguished Discorders, and discussors who want for nothing. Then there are some ravishing real-lifers, titillating Tumblrites, ...aaaand the rest (you’re all great). We’re still side-eyeing you Snapchatters though.
  ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE CHAPTER?
Honestly I just wanna let it out, but not on google Poll for obvious reasons
Not about the chapter... but you guys always come up with funny answers that I feel compelled to chose even if it’s not really what I think. I love to answer this. Thank you!
Zeke the relationship expert, huh?
This chapter went through far too many dodgy translations for its own good, and even the official typeset had one big mistake in it even though it conveyed the mood of the convo between Eren and Historia far better than all the others.
this is all so confusing I miss erwin
I don't want genocide to be how this ends.  I believe Isayama doesn't intend a story this complex to send a message that genocide is great.  Considering some of the mindscrews he's already pulled via Paths, I'm hoping the best mindscrew is yet to come.
Reiner was a snacc
Historia the Antifascist Queen
This is the best chapter
this series is so great man
This whole chapter was a certified Bruh moment (in a good way)
This whole chapter was about Eren dehumanising. And he killed his mom. I wouldn't be surprised if he'll eventually want to kill all Eldians and his friends either.
Loved everything except for Historian's forced reluctant pregnancy.
Here's to 3 more weeks
I hope Eren doesn’t love anyone from the series.
I feel like Isayama is still increasing the pressure to help his final plot twist, I’m still lost as I really don’t agree with Eren’s actions while I see the fandom going crazy over him. Maybe I missed something, maybe I’m wrong, maybe I don’t fully understand Eren. This chapter felt good, I don’t hate the Alliance because they’re part of what I think is the right choice for humanity, but we all honestly wanted to know Eren’s thoughts or a bit of it, as we didn’t see him for a while. English isn’t my first language I’m sorry in advance, loved your poll
I honestly have no idea what's going to happen and the whole time I was reading it I was internally screaming.
Ok I know Ymir (the lesbian) has been dead for years but I miss her so much. She was the dad. Forget Farmer-kun, forget Eren, it was all Ymir.
okay no offense but where’s Levi ☹️
One big tease of erens pov and who the father is
One of the best chapter I ever read! Love it!
Didn't expect the Eren POV but welcomed it anyway. We now have confirmation he wanted everything that happened to happen and even the implication he orchestrated the death of his own mother. That's very tasty
Eren's pov has been hidden for too long and right now I don't think the payoff is worth it
eren exhibits bird behavior & he killed his mom 😕
Eren is a bird confirmed or some shit
Eren later takes Ymir's place in Paths as a sacrifice for many years to fix everything, learning everything he needs by traveling around as, say, birds, as needed to send to his past self to guarantee "that scenery"
Eren is in control of more than we previously thought and this shows evidence of a timeloop scenario
Eren can see the future and can probably manipulate the pure titans at different points in time like the Founder does. It's also likely he's gonna fuse with more shifters to visit other pieces of memory.
Eren is able to use the full power of the FT, that why he can see not only his own memories, but also the memories of other Eldians. All of them are connected to him after all.
He will turn into a bird in the end
So exited that we finally got to see Eren in his Founding Titan-like form!!!! Can’t wait for next month (AoT fan from Japan)
Enjoyed the chapter due to a return to debating the morality of the Rumbling, and seeing it in progress. Also tend to enjoy interaction between Eren and Historia. However, I think the chapter is slightly let down by being cryptic. It's hard to tell what is going on with Eren due to how scenes from this issue and others can be interpreted.
nah mate do people actually read this?
This chapter marks something that has changed everyone's thoughts. Not just about Eren, but Annie, Historia, Zeke, etc. We heard them speak differently, and got a few answers to our questions. We got to see that Annie does indeed have emotions. That Historia did not want this. That Annie never really wanted to kill, nor does she want to anymore. That Zeke actually cared for Eren. That the father is most likely farmer-kun. It's one of the best chapters we've had. Each chapter we get, we get closer to the end of this wonderful story. I can't wait to see what Isayama has planned for in the final chapters. Truly hoping for the best!
reiner's tits dammit
Despite the devastation, I now feel like there is meaning hidden beneath the madness
Creepy and interesting chapter. The official translation confirms further that Eren is going to destroy the world. I’m hoping that the next volume shifts focus to Reiner a little more. I’m also excited for more loose ends to be cleared up.
Damn, only 5 more to go before the end of the greatest story of all time
Enjoyed it but I’m really hoping for some more insight into what’s going on with both eren and historia, I’m not a huge fan of the pregnancy subplot
eren just wants to see if marleyans are made of cake
Eren makes the most amazing villain ever. Will go down as one of my favorite characters ever if the story ends how I hope it will.
Everyone forgets Historia saw her dad’s memories without eating him, without being a shifter, and without touching Eren. We’re still waiting for the payoff...
Fantastic chapter, though it felt really short
Floch was Eren's lieutenant all along, he was his representative, and his actions are therefore Eren's responsability all the same. Get fucked those who didn't want to believe that Eren would consciously choose Floch, believe in him or to set things up for Eren in Paradis.
I'd like it if the Ackerbond was not as supernatural as it was claimed before. Not because of EreMika, MikaHisu would be much better than both options of this chapter. Now we know that Levi or Kenny's loyalty were real, and it warms my heart. Also, my bastard wasn't lying! He knew about the plan.
It confirmed everything we already knew: Historia didn't support Eren's plan, Ackerman weren't slaves, Mikasa's feelings for Eren doesn't have to do with the fact she's an Ackerman and the fandom is stupid for still believing Eren is the father despite him literally telling Zeke that he can't answer Mikasa's feelings, because he only has 4 years left to live.
My heart was beating so hard during Eren and Historia's conversation because I just couldn't believe we were actually seeing her again, it had been 2 years since we got anything this relevant from her and I also just really wanted Isayama to get on with it and tell us who the damm father was so that we could finally move on to other things. I still don't believe it's Eren, but I'm done with that theory, man. No more teasing, please. Two years is far more than enough.
Chapters like this one, which perfectly captures the culmination of Eren's entire journey, make me glad to be alive at this moment in time to experience Isayama's masterpiece. I'm not ready for this story to end in just one more volume.
The ending of this story will not be a gentle tapping of the brakes but a screeching halt followed by hydroplaning and crashing into a ditch
What if the rumbling is all one big sex reveal party for Historia's baby and the Colossal Titans are arranging all the corpses into a female symbol or something.
For 8 months I have been waiting for Eren Jaeger. My favorite fictional character ever. He comes back in best way possible, wow.
Great chapter, too bad half of this dumb fandom misunderstood it and are falsely claiming it confirmed Eren as the father. *facepalm*
Obligatory mention that eren is a manipulative bastard and is a little too far gone in his goal
Ambiguity: The chapter. More questions than answers, no way this ends in 4 chapters. Overall we are all going "Wuh?" like Historia after this chapter.
We are being fucked with.
I cry, eren has been one of my favourite characters in the AoT universe
I didn't think it was possible for Eren to get any worse, but he always manages to surprise me.
I don't care about eremika or erehisu. I just need my rivaere (: haha
i don't care for the alliance and the ship-baiting was making me weary. I just want more eren, zeke and historia. They're the interesting ones.
‏I don't know what the end will be but i know it will be sad ending!..We all suffer and I mean the world of AOT and the fans who read manga... I will accept all probabilities and the death of heroes, but please do not make Mikasa kill Eren..I mean after all this love that will kill him .. I read many analyzes of the possibility of this happening and I see it as a very bad and irrational end..It is not logical at all..If you did it, the AOT would be one of the worst deeds and to the landfill..Isayama If you have suffered a lot in your life and childhood, we have also suffered in our lives, but please do not bring this suffering into the AOT world
I dont want this to end @ isayama
I hated what direction this story was taking, now I really hate it.
I just feel Isayama hasn't answered so much stuff yet and has also raised the stakes so high that I can't possibly imagine how the story will end. I believe Mikasa's slowly been established as the character who will defeat Eren, but I have no idea how she'll do it... But at least there were beautiful Mikannie crumbs, so I'm happy af and hope they'll have more scenes together now that Annie's about to give up (I mean, there are parallels™ everywhere when it comes to our wonderful lost girls...)
I just hope it's building up to a really good ending.
i just wanna know what's gona happen next man this shit be driving me crazy
I love everything! I hope floch dies though
I love you eren
I need answers!!!
I need Zook back
I really hope this series doesn’t end with a message like “genocide is necessary for peace” I hope someone stops Eren
I really loved the art and double spreads, and seeing Eren's POV after a while
I think it's the 2nd best chapter we've gotten this arc. The 1st being 123. I loved it. I also think it's putting to rest the secret plan theories regarding Eren. I've made my final prediction for the series. I think it's a tragedy that will end in Eren destroying the world & manipulating everyone's memories except for Historia & Mikasa & a new age for humanity will begin.
I'm so glad my girl's back, but I'm confused as hell. There's definitly more to her meeting with Eren and her choosing to be pregnant, we'll see. Also Zook being a love conselor and having a Ackerman phd was hilarious, I love him even more. Erefloch canon.
If he wanted to protect his friends why didn’t he just forge some Marleyan passport/citizenships for them, god wtf
If you think about it we actually didn’t learn anything that wasn’t already heavily implied
im shook
Isayama gave more than i wanted my heart can't take it.
it was very good thank you for asking
It's finally moving forward (as isayama likes to say)
It’s a good chapter but I still with doubts.
JUST DO IT EREN
Just wanna see ZEKE
Kiyoger Theory!!!!!
l'm glad we got to see a bit from Eren's POV. But I still need more answers ;_; why choose rumbling, Eren??? not looking for justification for his actions here but i just want to know /why/ he did it. Still feel like theres a missing link somewhere tbh.. I just hope the ending of snk wont be a disaster like game of thrones where Daenerys' switch came out of nowhere. At this point I just want the series to end asap, the tension build up is killing me lol.
Leaks for 131 when?
Let’s get rrready to RUMBLEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!
Loved seeing the rumbling but I wish we could have gotten more character driven moments
Loved this chapter! I'm glad we finally got to learn more of Eren's POV and finally learn what was Historia's role in all of this (or at least beginning to learn her involvement in the plan). Seeing him initiate the Rumbling was epic. The destruction is about to begin!
my brain is too small to understand some of these theories
Now we know that Eren and Floch just pretending to follow Zeke's plan ever since from the beginning but I want to gain more explanations of Eren's secret plan
Oddly placed Eren flashback, but I'll take it
Something's up. I'm still not convinced we can take any of this at face value.
So many flashbacks were a bit hard to follow, but it really seems like the series is gonna end soon and I’m a bit nervous about how well any ending will play out
thank you Isayama for this masterpiece
THE ART IS JUST AMAZING but for me its so short 😭😭😭
That Eren with mid long hair is baby
the alliance has come together way too fast and theyve only really had 1 dispute so far. there needs to be more conflict to make it more realisitic. I think annie saying that they won't be able to/don't want to kill eren is foreshadowing this.
the Art is amazing but flashback scenes were a little mess
The chapter was full of messy memories, so it symbolized Eren's brain well :)
I think that now I understand Eren better. I used to believe he had some secret plan, but the true was always there - Eren is not any master mind. His plan was simple - destroy the whole world. The trauma he had after losing his mother has never been healed. It was always in him, growing bigger and bigger. He still cares about his friends, but he is also lying to himself saying that ""he is doing the rumbling  because he wants to see them having long, happy life"". He is doing it because his hatred to the ones who are responsible for Carla's death took control over his heart. Eren is adult, young man but deep down he is still the same, hurt crying child who bears painful memories of losing his mother.  
The cycle of war and hatred is saddening. This ain't something fictional, it's something we have always been observing from the earliest human consciousness :(
We all got a big storm comin
We are NOT ready for this shit
we need annie to live longer pls
Well here’s our proof eren is actually going through with the rumbling.
What it would feel like to be Eren right now
what kind of eva BULLSHIT
what the hell is going ON
Where is Floch
where is LEVI
Wheres zeke?
Yams, you're so diabolic. You  just want to make the real-life's rumbling with all that "confusing' ship tease xD
Yooooo, we need more explanation about maybe, everything? But amazing and bomb ass chapter though
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albatris · 3 years
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🩸✂️ for tris, 🌋for noa, ⏰🧸💬 for avery??? this is a lot sorry ksdhfjbsdfjsbfbsd
hey hello thank you for the ask!! :D sorry my replies got so long hfdgkjdfgh
🩸 - Does your OC believe in blood being thicker than water? (meaning family relationships and loyalties are the most important)
I think.......... at the start of the story Tris would be a pretty big believer in blood being thicker than water, at least on some level? like
I don’t think he necessarily views his family relationships as “more important” than his other relationships, but he does view them as something Significant and Inherently Important simply BECAUSE they’re family
it’s not a belief he’s examined much before the start of the story, so there’s a lot of real dodgy shit he lets slide purely because It’s Family and at the end of the day there’s a level of forgiveness and loyalty there that’s almost a knee-jerk reaction for him
towards the end of the story his perspective starts to shift, and eventually he’ll land on a belief closer to, like........ well, a family relationship is just a relationship like any other, there’s nothing Deep and Special and Magical about it, and you don’t have to make excuses for their shitty behaviour just ‘cause they’re related to you
I think once he’s a few years into adulthood the phrase “blood is thicker than water” will become something that pisses him off a lot lmao
✂️ - What kind of thing would have your OC cut someone out of their life? How likely are they to let someone back in?
lmao nothing he’s a huge pushover
no, he’s not so good with setting boundaries, it would probably take a lot to make him cut someone out completely. that is fucking STRESSFUL business. and anyone he did manage to cut out, he’d be very easily swayed into letting them back in
there might be a level of distance he’ll keep with them, but yeah, like I said, he’s kind of a pushover
bur YEAH if I had to name something, I'd say a significant enough betrayal of trust might do it, since trust is real dicey business for Tris, and the very very very small handful of folks he’s willing to place complete trust in are fully aware that this is a Really Big Fucking Deal for him and not something to be taken lightly. so being intentionally manipulated or misled by someone in that circle would be a pretty devastating blow to him and might be cause for him to shut someone off completely
but hey if I'm being honest, it doesn't often occur to Tris that he's, like......... allowed?? to be mad about stuff?? he tends to assume he's in the wrong by default so "this person wronged you and you're allowed to cut them out" is generally not on his radar even slightly :P and even if it is, he still tends to wait for some kind of cue or permission from someone else that he's allowed to act on it
kinda tying into the previous answer, like, his parents are both quite terrible people, n eventually all three Greer siblings end up cutting ties with them entirely, but like..... yeah, Tris’s perspective on his family changes a lot over the course of the story, but for a long time the idea of Just Cutting Ties is still just........... unthinkable. too much. forbidden
the tipping point is that Becca, the only Greer sib capable of being assertive, cuts ties basically as soon as she moves out of home, so like, maybe four or five years post-story? and just drops completely off the grid, doesn’t respond to their parents’ messages, doesn’t pick up the phone, doesn’t tell them where she’s going, she’s just Out. clean break
which leads both Tris and Jacob to be like “hold on we can DO that????? since when the fuck was that an option????”
I think both of them just kind of assumed that if they cut ties the world would immediately explode but in reality it’s just like.................. well, that happened
Tris Applies One Single Boundary And The Universe Doesn’t Immediately Shatter, and I will say it comes a little easier the next time he has to do it
🌋 - What’s your OCs temper like? Are they a slow boil, or an instant explosion?
oh, Noa is very much an instant explosion. she’s got a lot of rage y’all and she’s ready to roll whenever
though tbf she’s done a lot of work around emotion regulation, and these days won’t often Visibly Instantly Explode, like....... her anger tends to shoot up real quick and be pretty intense, but she’s gotten pretty good at controlling it and bringing it down to a manageable level, and like........... NOT making snap decisions and lashing out impulsively
there’s generally a space between the anger and the Explosion where she asks herself “is this unnecessary?” or “is this more trouble than it’s worth?” and sometimes the answer to these questions is yes and sometimes the answer is an emphatic no
so on an internal level I would say her temper tends to run pretty high, but it’s not always something she lets out. she’s pretty good at managing it nowadays, where she used to often land in heated arguments or fights or it would turn pretty self-destructive
that being said, she’s still a very easy person to tick off, much to the entertainment of various other characters particularly Kai 
though I think her short fuse and being easy to tick off and her Actual Anger are two completely different scenarios, both to do with a short temper but in different directions, maybe :P
I would say the two Noa Anger Modes are “will you stop clicking that fucking pen” and Full-On Righteous Fury
⏰ - What is your OC like at timekeeping? Are they punctual, or always running late?
Avery is punctual to a fault and gets REAL mad when other people aren’t lmao. I think he considers it pretty rude to run late to things, since he thinks it gives the impression that you don’t value other people’s time. running late to shit is the quickest way to make him dislike you
it's not PROFESSIONAL
🧸 - On a scale of 1 - 10, how ‘soft’ is your OC? 1 being the edgiest of edges and 10 being a literal teddy bear that cries at everything? (Bonus questions: where on the scale would your OC place themselves, and where would they like to be on the scale?)
oh, he’s about a 7, I’d say? he’s certainly not, like, a complete and total edgelord, but he’s definitely more on the prickly side of things than he is the teddy bear side............ he’s fairly reserved, he’s not INTENTIONALLY standoffish but he definitely gives off some hardcore unapproachable vibes at times. he’s pretty easily irked as well and his weapon of choice is passive-aggression, so he can be...... yeah, a Lot
as for the way he carries himself, well, he’s very prim and proper and formal, very crisp, and I think people tend to find him either a touch intimidating or unbelievably pretentious. either way is fine with him, he's happy to lean into it :P
I think he considers himself around a 7 too, but would rather like to be a 9
the thing about Avery is he's always trying real hard to be the most cool and suave and edgy but like....... he's still kind of a dweeb, as most characters in this story are
💬  - Is your OC much of a talker? Do they only speak when spoken to? (Or not even then?) Do they ever talk over others?
oh this bastard LOVES talking. this bastard will talk about anything. this bastard will interrupt a conversation you are having with your friend on the bus to correct you on a fact you got wrong
but yeah, he’s a pretty engaging conversation partner generally speaking, he enjoys those more intellectual and philosophical discussions and, kinda, being “challenged” in a conversation? like, this is the best person to talk to if you get a kick out of a good friendly debate, I think c:
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gukyi · 5 years
Text
plant boy | jhs
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summary: after seven years of doing it, you’d like to think you’re an expert at skipping class. stay hidden, stay quiet, and act inconspicuous. but when you accidentally draw the attention of jung hoseok while you’re camping out on the benches outside the greenhouses, you begin to realize that all it takes is a boy with sunshine at his fingertips and a particular affinity for herbology to change things.
{hogwarts!au, opposites to lovers!au}
pairing: hoseok x female reader word count: 11k genre: fluff, light angst warnings: playing hooky - stay in school kidz! a/n: happy lunar new year, everyone!!!! here’s my gift to you as a blessing for the new year. hope y’all lucky as hell. aside from that, a couple notes:
1. i know it’s literally been 84 years since i last posted a part for my sorted series. my bad! anyway, here is the much awaited plant boy, and the rest of the parts should be following shortly.
2. this takes place before the events of tutor! that’s why namjoon’s still kind of a dick in this one. sorry for any confusion!!
3. dedicated to this fic’s numero uno fan, 陈 anon!
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Time seems to pass by extra slowly on days like this.
Days where you’ve earned yourself another detention, adding it to the list of the ones you go to (and the list of the ones you’ve skipped), trapped in a classroom that you can’t Alohomora your way out of, one designed specifically for troublemakers like you. Back in your first and second years, they used to give you detentions that sent you into the Forbidden Forest to do some other teacher’s bidding, or they’d make you clean out and reorganize the Potions closet, or tidy up the disastrous greenhouses at the edge of campus, or sort the library books or wipe down the tables in the Great Hall.
They learned after the first two years that even menial tasks such as those can’t be trusted to be placed in your hands.
Now, in a punishment seemingly designed for irritable, easily-bored, fidgety, vengeful students just like you, you sit in a classroom supervised by a snotty teacher—or even worse, the Head Boy or Girl—and watch as the seconds tick by.
It’s normal; you’re used to it at this point, but that doesn’t make it any less soul-sucking. All you can do is wait with your chin resting in your palm, the wooden pencil you use (because quills are archaic and weird) tapping against the desk. It’s not much, but at least the noise distracts you from the ticking time-bomb in your brain, on the verge of explosion. Not to mention, it does tend to drive the person who has to keep watch over you just a little bit mad.
Deduction of House Points doesn’t seem to have any effect on you whatsoever. You pity the poor folks who share the same house with you, the same blue and bronze decorating their robes and ties, having to suffer through watching their House Points decrease and decrease until the professors felt so terrible they stopped punishing your House and started punishing you instead. It worked out for everyone, really. The teachers stopped having a guilty conscience and the rest of your House-mates stopped giving you the stink-eye whenever you passed by them in the hallways.
You’re in today because Potions class is a joke and that’s that. You can’t really be too sure what you actually did in Potions today, anyway, because anything you’re taught really does just go in through one ear and out the other. You spent the entire class, rather than focusing on the actual lesson, brewing a Confusing Concoction so potent it permeated the air, causing everyone else to fall into a bewildered stupor and turning the lesson into chaos. All it really takes is double the amount of sneezewort. Simple, when you think about it.
Regardless, the lesson ran amuck and who else was to blame except you, of course. Imagine everyone’s horror if it had turned out that it wasn’t you who claimed the blame for the overwhelming scent of pure, unadulterated befuddlement. The day someone else is as disruptive as you is the day the entire Hogwarts campus bursts into flames.
Tap, tap, tap.
Your feet have started to join in, creating a rhythm that surrounds you as you match up the beats to the ticking of the clock above the doorway. It’s natural for your hands to turn to this, resorting to music as your immediate form of entertainment—you played piano all throughout your childhood and even now, music seems to be one of the only things that hasn’t abandoned you entirely, alongside your disregard for structured education and your charm.
Tap, tap, tap.
How much longer? It seems like you’ve been here ever since classes ended at three. It feels like you’ve been sitting in the same desk in the same empty room for the past three days. Your stomach grumbles. You think you’ve forgotten what food tastes like. You might die in this room, to be honest.
Tap, tap, tap.
It’s a real shame they don’t trust you to do the other standard detention tasks. Not that their judgement is misled in any way, because it’s not, but even rearranging the Potions closet would be more intellectually fulfilling than this. There’s more to life than rewards and punishments. You’re just waiting to see when they’ll actually realize it.
Tap, tap, tap.
“Y/L/N.”
Interrupted from the sick beats you were laying down, you look up to see Kim Namjoon, your designated chaperone for the afternoon, appearing severely disgruntled. The thick-rimmed glasses he’s wearing have slid all the way down his nose bridge, and he’s clutching onto the quill in his hand so tightly you think it’ll snap in half.
“Yes, Namjoon?” You ask sweetly, resting your chin in your interlaced hands as your elbows press down into the desk. You know he hates when you call him by his first name. It’s just another reminder that he is in no way superior to you. Just because he gets good grades and all the professors fall to their knees at the sight of him. His so-called academic excellence doesn’t excuse him from being an asshole.
“This might be a particularly difficult concept to get through that empty head of yours, but have you ever thought of being quiet for once in your life?” He asks, peering over the top rim of his glasses. It’s clear he wants to be here as much as you do. But you’ve been graciously handed the opportunity to torment who is probably your biggest enemy on campus, and you won’t pass it up.
“But we’re having so much fun, Namjoon,” you continue, condescending tone thick on your tongue. “You wouldn’t want to just sit here in silence, would you? I can hear you thinking from all the way over here, and trust me, it’s not pretty.”
“Are you treating this as some kind of joke, Y/L/N?” Namjoon asks with a frown, looking more and more like an angry, eighty-year-old professor who eats his students’ hearts for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  
Truth be told, the last time you took detention seriously was in your first year here. Back when you were a little baby of a student, intimidated by all of the teachers and older students and desperate to make a good impression. Now, you like to think of detention as an opportunity to clear your mind, maybe meditate for a bit, and of course, be a nuisance. It’s one of your most favorite hobbies.
“It’s only a joke because you’re here,” you singsong, making the kid at the desk roll his eyes behind the thick lenses that he’s wearing. “You take everything so seriously, you should learn to lighten up once in a while. It’ll do wonders for your grades.”
Namjoon stiffens. “I don’t think you’re in any position to be telling me how to manage my grades,” he quips. You force out something between a chuckle and a cough, disappointed but not surprised that Namjoon would whip out his superiority complex about his academics as a means of shooting you down.
“You humor me, Namjoon,” you hum to yourself.
Namjoon continues scowling. You think that if he frowns any more the expression will be permanently etched onto his face. “Have you ever considered that maybe the reason you end up in detention all the time is because nobody likes you?”
Never has Namjoon been so rude to you. Granted, you’re well aware of the fact that you’re certainly not the most popular kid on campus, by a long shot, too. You know that people like Namjoon, with good grades and fake attitudes and quirky little characteristics are the ones that will go on to succeed within these walls. But Namjoon seems to be particularly hostile to you today. Maybe he drank something strange this morning.
“Damn, and here I was thinking we were best friends,” you deadpan, unfazed. “You know, unlike you and everyone else here at this school, I don’t really care what people think of me.”
“You think you’re so special because you’re rebellious and alternative and you don’t give a shit about what others think of you,” Namjoon taunts. “But you’re not. You’re just another reject Hogwarts kid that doesn’t have a future outside of these walls. Maybe if you learn to conduct yourself properly, then you will.”
The belltower in the courtyard chimes, signaling the end of your detention. Wordlessly, Namjoon gathers his belongings and struts out of the room, turning the corner sharply to go and gossip with his other bratty, pretentious friends that dislike you as much as you dislike them. The things Namjoon said to you pale in comparison to other things you’ve been told by disgruntled professors, angry students, and everyone in between. But it’s a modern day tragedy that Namjoon gets to treat you like a buffoon and still gets hailed as the king of the school, meanwhile you telling it like it is earns you weekly detentions.
With a groan that reverberates off the walls of the classroom you’re in, you pull yourself to your feet and head back to your dorm, where you plan on wallowing in self-pity, ignoring anyone who does try to talk to you, and of course, not doing your homework.
Some things never change.
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The next day finds you strolling right past the stairwell that leads down to the dungeons at half-past twelve, thinking that maybe your professor won’t be too happy to see you after the previous debacle. You wouldn’t be surprised if the scent of the Confusing Concoction still lingered, not strong enough to make your head spin but just enough to leave you a bit in the dark. You imagine not many people were productive in the Potions classroom that day.
It’s not that you skip class on purpose, per se. It’s more a result of the snowball effect, one thing leading to another and another until human confrontation seems like it’ll worsen the problem, rather than alleviate it. Even if the professor doesn’t berate you in front of the entire class, being there immediately after one of your… incidents stirs people up, makes them whisper about you. You don’t care what they have to say, but you’d rather not hear them try to mask what they’re saying while right in front of you. You have ears, too.
So, electing to go to the place that is practically the entire opposite of the dingy, dark dungeons, you head up the stairs at the end of the hallway, towards the greenhouses. You’re not too sure if Sprout has a class right now, but even if she did, you’d just go hide on one of the benches and wait until your next class. If you felt like going to it, of course.
Whenever you do skip class, you don’t allow yourself the luxury of holing up in your dormitory and sleeping the hours away. If you aren’t going to be in class, you’re going to at least be productive elsewhere, whether it be hidden away in the library bookshelves or taking one of the hidden passageways to Hogsmeade or now, camping out by the greenhouses and letting the fresh air clear your mind.
You find a bench to settle in on, stretching out your legs as you lean against the glass, hidden from the inside by a wall of plants. Shuffling through your belongings, you pull out a muggle book that had been left in the Great Hall for a week without anyone laying claim to it. It’s a little too fantastical for your liking, a story about a futuristic world where children have to fight each other to the death as payment for their ancestors rebelling against their capital city, but it’s an alright read. It’s certainly much more enjoyable than anything you’re assigned to read for class.
You’re not worried about getting caught—in fact, it’s probably the lowest on your list of concerns—but at this time of day, when all classes are in session and students are only roaming the hallways if they’re in need of a bathroom break, footsteps do catch you off guard. Not that another detention will do you any harm or good.
Rather, when you look up from your page you see, through the fogged up glass of the greenhouse, a Hufflepuff boy from your year looking back at you, a watering can held in his hands. Red-handed, you feel yourself forcing a smile his way, hoping he doesn’t think much of another student being here, let alone you. Maybe he doesn’t know who you are at all, though you doubt that entirely. Frozen, you watch as he places down the watering can and heads towards the back door of the greenhouse, right by the bench you’re sitting on.
Without the foggy glass to blur his features, you recognize him instantly. It’s Jung Hoseok. In your fifth year, you often had double Herbology with the Hufflepuffs in your year, and he stood out far more than anyone else. You didn’t pay much attention to him, but you’ve seen enough to know that he has quite a knack for the subject, not to mention Sprout wrapped around his finger. He would open his mouth and already she would be handing ten points to Hufflepuff.
Needless to say, him walking towards you makes you a little nervous, as you suspect the first thing he’ll say when he sees you, clearly skipping class, is Sprout’s name. You’ll be handed another detention in no time.
You turn back to your book and pretend that he’s not there, acting like you’re engrossed in the novel as you hear the footsteps along the cobblestone path getting louder and louder. Within no time, you feel his presence next to yours, looming over you like a cloud that spells out doom. Turning the page, you brace yourself for what’s to come.
Then, “What book is that?”
You look up at Jung Hoseok, who is peering down at you not with disdain or contempt, but with pure, unadulterated curiosity. Straining his eyes to see if he can make out a title on the front cover.
“Uh, just some muggle book,” you say casually, hoping you can get through this conversation without being punished.
“Really?” He asks, eyes lighting up with interest. “My friend Tae is muggle-born, maybe he knows it? He’s a fifth year.”
“Cool,” you say, nodding. The faster this conversation is over, the better. Before he recognizes just exactly who you are and runs away screaming to tell a teacher on you.
“Do you come here often?” He asks, motioning to the greenhouse behind you. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think this was an undercover interrogation. With seven years of constant trouble under your belt, any sort of questioning seems to turn into a court hearing whenever you’re involved.
“Less often than I should,” you respond cryptically. It’s true—the greenhouse is definitely one of the more peaceful places you frequent when you should be attending class, always so calm and serene. Nature seems to have that effect.
“It feels that way, doesn’t it?” Hoseok muses to himself. “No matter how much time I spend here, it’ll never be enough.”
This piques your interest. “How often are you in the greenhouses?” You ask somewhat accusingly, like you’re in total disbelief at the idea that the greenhouse goody-two-shoes would even suggest such a thing as skipping class. Someone like Jung Hoseok? Impossible.
Hoseok smiles sheepishly. “I know every inch of every greenhouse, from the roots of the plants buried deep in the soil to the cracks in the panes of glass on the roof. I have etched the feeling of the dirt beneath my palms into memory, memorized the makeup of every plant that this school grows. But I have no idea what’s going on Arithmancy right now.”
His self-awareness makes you laugh, chuckling as you smile to yourself. “Hey, that makes two of us.”
“You’re Y/N, right? I’m Jung Hoseok. Mind if I sit?” He asks, pointing to the empty space on the bench next to you. There’s more than enough room for it to not be awkward or invasive.
You motion for him to go right ahead. Nothing in the conversation has raised any red flags, and as far as you’re concerned Hoseok’s a nice person to chat with, someone to keep you busy as the two of you avoid your legitimate responsibilities.
“Surprised you’d want to be seen out in the wild with me,” you joke, trying to make light of the situation. “I’d hate for your reputation to be ruined.”
“Yeah, my reputation as Nerdy Plant Boy would be soiled,” Hoseok says. He pauses for a moment and then bursts into laughter. “Get it? Soiled? Because I like plants?”
Maybe his pun was the worst thing your ears have suffered through in a while, but his happiness is electric and his joy is contagious. You find yourself grinning at the mere sound of him enjoying himself, laughing his head off at the pun he just made.
“I mean, you are technically skipping class right now. Just saying,” you remind him.
“Yeah, under the guise of Sprout asking me to help maintain Greenhouse 3. It’s totally overgrown with ivy; she can hardly use it for any lessons. Transfiguration was never really my forte anyway,” Hoseok comments. “But you skip class often, don’t you?”
“Is that a problem?” You challenge.
“Only if you make it one,” Hoseok responds casually. “I mean, you do you. Didn’t you make some superhuman Confusing Concoction the other day?” You nod guiltily. “Oh my God, I walked into Potions that afternoon and felt my head spinning! I had to run down to the greenhouses to get some air. I never made it back to Potions.”
“So neither of us actually knows what happened in class that day?” You ask with a smile.
“Nope,” Hoseok says, shrugging. He doesn’t really seem to mind the fact that he doesn’t attend his classes either. In fact, kind of just rolls with it. “I’ll probably have to ask Namjoon about it.”
The mention of who is probably your biggest enemy makes you inwardly groan. “Oh, don’t tell me the two of you are friends.”
Hoseok chuckles. “He’s certainly not keen on you, that’s for sure,” Hoseok says, crossing his arms. “We’re not close, but I guess you could say we’re sort of friends. I just see him around a lot, and sometimes he asks me for Herbology help. ‘S all.”
“The great Kim Namjoon? Head Boy? Best grades in the class? Asking for help? Unheard of,” you say dramatically, making Hoseok chuckle.
“I doubt he has the best grades in the year,” Hoseok says. “There’s that girl that McGonagall loves that does better than him, I think. He told me he has a massive crush on her.”
“That’s… grossly adorable,” you admit. “But you’ve always been good at Herbology, haven’t you? You were in my class fifth year. You know, when I went to class. Sprout loved you.”
“I don’t know, I don’t really think I’m that good at Herbology. Sprout’s way more educated than I am, and sure, that comes with experience, but really, I just love plants. I love nature, more broadly. I’m a certified tree-hugger,” Hoseok tells you proudly.
“Hey, listen, there are worse things to be,” you reason out with him. “For example, you could be the girl that made a superhuman Confusing Concoction and earned herself a detention for it.”
“Oh, her? I think she’s pretty cool, though,” Hoseok says, pearly white teeth on display as he smiles at you.
“Do you really?” You ask, only a little skeptical.
Hoseok leans back against the glass of the greenhouse a little too heavily, making the wooden bench wobble as you both sit on it. You jump slightly before the two of you regain your balance. Like a Disney prince, he reaches up next to him and plucks a flower growing on the vines along the outside of the greenhouse walls, twirling it between his fingertips before handing it to you. “Yeah, I do.”
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Meeting Hoseok outside Greenhouse 3 becomes a regular thing for the two of you. More often than not it ends up being because either one or both of you are skipping class, but what the rest of the world doesn’t know won’t hurt them. It’s strange, in a way. You’re an incredibly independent person as it is, but you never realized how much of a sanctuary you can find in another human being, even if it is just for a little bit.
In a trade for the muggle book you had been reading when he first stumbled upon you outside of the greenhouse, he brings you a little succulent for you to take care of.
“It’s just a normal succulent,” Hoseok says with a laugh as you nervously take the pot from his hands. “Nothing magical about it. Just a cactus’ weird cousin.”
“Don’t you know how irresponsible I am? What makes you think I can take care of a plant?” You ask skeptically.
“Succulents are so easy even irresponsible people like you can handle it,” Hoseok says with a wink, making you fake gag. His false sleaziness makes you a little sick. It’s just difficult to reconcile Greasy Hoseok with Nature Hoseok, who legitimately raps to the plants he’s taking care of. One time, you got to the greenhouse a bit early and found him transferring a plant to a larger pot and spitting some sick fire while he was at it. It was, admittedly, incredibly endearing.
“I don’t know if I should be offended or honored by that statement,” you say as you stare down at the succulent in your hands. It’s small—your palm can easily cup the entire pot, and it looks sort of like a very green lotus flower. Unsure of what to say next, you look back at Hoseok, helplessly.
“Well, aren’t you gonna name it?” He asks like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
“Why in Merlin would I name it?” You retort.
Hoseok pouts, lips turning into into a little mountain peak as he frowns. “Because naming plants makes them real. Without it, they’d just be plants. Name it!”
“Do you name your plants?” You challenge, though you’d be entirely unsurprised if he said yes. He seems the type. Not that that means anything.
“Only the ones that are important to me,” he tells you. You make a mental note to explore the greenhouse with him one of these days so you can learn which plants matter to him. Which ones he cares for the most. “Are you going to name your succulent?”
“What would I name it, though?” You ask. You’ve never been super… creative when it comes to things like this. Sure, you’re good at coming up with the occasional prank or two, but nothing of any sort of artistic substance. “I’m not too good at naming things.”
Hoseok thinks for a moment, humming to himself as he searches for the right name. He taps his foot on the cobblestone, one beat per second, when his eyes widen. “Oh! I know. How about One?”
“One? As in the number one?” You ask, a little disappointed. You thought he’d whip out some fancy name in a foreign language that you’d probably have a bit of a difficult time pronouncing at first.
“Yeah, One. So that you can keep track of all of them,” Hoseok says with a grin, beaming into himself, radiating like the sun that beats down on the bath.
“What do you mean ‘all of them’?” You interrogate. “Are there more?”
Hoseok smiles, reaching out to hold the pot in his hand, letting the edges of his palm rest in yours. “There just might be.”
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What ends up happening is, by the end of the month, there are at least five more pots of succulents sitting on the windowsill by your bed in the Ravenclaw dorm rooms, each of them named accordingly. They look a little bit like an army, a succulent soldiery, if you will. The rest of your dormmates have said nothing about the brand new additions to your corner of the room, luckily enough, seeing as you haven’t the faintest clue how they’d respond to you suddenly acquiring six tiny cacti. Hoseok had told you that they need cold water once a week, and you haven’t done something so faithfully since the time in your sixth year where you attempted to get a detention over the winter holidays.
The thing is that you’d just hate to let them die. Hoseok gave them to you because he believes you’re qualified enough to take care of them, and while you most certainly don’t think you are, you’ll be damned if you don’t follow through.
It’s nice. Having someone like Hoseok around is nice. He is, by nature, one of the brightest people you’ve ever met, both intellectually and emotionally, just the right amount of humor, confidence, and self-deprecation. It’s like he’s the person you’ve been waiting for at Hogwarts, someone who isn’t obsessed over grades and looks and popularity. Someone who just is. Existing, being, is humanity’s simplest task and yet so many people seem to overlook it.
You’re camped out in the Great Hall, sitting alone at the edge of the Ravenclaw table as other students wander in and out, completing bits and pieces of their homework and taking handfuls of the provided snacks, trying to accomplish everything before the weekend’s up. You’re doodling in the margins of the used textbook you have for Charms, working tirelessly on a stick figure flipbook comic. Whoever gets this textbook after you is in for a treat.
The eraser at the tip of your wooden pencil furiously scrubs at a flubbed-up bowtie (how can one side of it be larger than the other—it’s basically just two triangles and a circle) when someone, a very familiar someone, interrupts your thought process.
“What are you doing?” Hoseok asks, eyes wide as he stares down at the writing utensil in your hand.
“Um, drawing?” You respond, albeit a little unsure.
“But—but what is that you’re drawing with? I saw you just a second ago, you drew something and then you removed it!” Hoseok says, sitting down across from you. You suck in a breath and pray that no one’s noticed the Herbology king himself, actively engaging with a delinquent such as yourself.
“This?” You ask, holding out the offending object. “It’s a pencil. Muggles use it all the time—I had a friend smuggle me a few last year. They’re much more convenient than quills, no ink, no mess.”
“Fascinating,” Hoseok says, sketching a couple of lines in your textbook. “It’s much lighter than ink.”
“It’s graphite, I think. Less pressure,” you say.
“And what’s this?” Hoseok asks, looking down at the rounded eraser at the end of it. He puts it up to his nose and sniffs in hard, coughing at what is probably a strong whiff of rubber in his nostrils. “Oof, it smells awful.”
“It’s an eraser,” you say, carefully taking the pencil back and showing Hoseok how to get rid of the lines he just drew. “It… erases things.” You don’t really think you have a better way of explaining it.
“Amazing,” Hoseok says, still awed by the pencil in your hand. “But I didn’t come here for you to show me this muggle creation. I have a treat for you.”
“Don’t tell me it’s another succulent, Hoseok. I can barely keep up with the ones I already have,” you say, pleading a bit. You’d hate to sound ungrateful but Hoseok really has been piling it on with the plants and you’re starting to get the slightest bit overwhelmed.
Hoseok chuckles. “It’s not, I promise. Are you busy?”
“Eh…” you respond helplessly, staring down at your half-finished flipbook comic.
“Please,” Hoseok says with a snigger. “No offense Y/N, but you and I both know you weren’t going to do any of your homework.”
“Touché,” you concede, shutting your textbook roughly and standing up. Hoseok grins, leading the way out of the Great Hall (you attempt to ignore the stares and strange looks the other students are sending your way, especially as you pass Namjoon and that girl that he’s got a crush on, arguing about something) and directly to the greenhouses.
Hoseok’s got a bit of an extra skip in his step today. Maybe he has something extra special to show you. Is he upgrading you from succulents to actual cacti?
“If you wanted me to come to the greenhouse, we could have just met up at our usual time,” you remind Hoseok, citing the scheduled noon meetup you have almost daily, at this point. You don’t think Hoseok will ever go back to Transfiguration if you can help it. You’re rubbing off on him.
“I know, but this is different,” Hoseok says, grabbing onto your hand as he unlocks the greenhouse door. You pay little attention to the way his fingers fit between yours, holding on tightly, like he’s afraid that if he lets go, you’ll vanish. With a shake of the knob, he opens the door to the greenhouse and walks you inside to reveal what you would consider a fairy’s dream home.
He’s strung up little lanterns all over the place, hanging from the ceiling and taped to the wall in strands. There’s a peaceful sort of aura, the warm yellow lights of the lanterns mixing with the clear daylight outside, giving a sort of ethereal glow to anything inside the greenhouse. Besides just the decorations, Hoseok has a collection of various plant species on the tables in the center, all of different shapes and sizes, and next to it, a pile of the gardening tools you use in class.
“What’s this, Hoseok?” You ask in awe, fingers dancing along the strings of lanterns taped onto the walls.
“Just a little something,” he says bashfully, curling into his Hufflepuff robes slightly. “I just thought that maybe you wanted to see what I get up to in here when I’m supposed to be in class.”
“So scandalous,” you chide jokingly. “But that sounds lovely, Hoseok. What do you want to show me?”
Hoseok’s brushing his hand along the plants on the table like they’re his own children. In a way, they sort of are. “If I recall correctly, you didn’t necessarily make frequent appearances in our Herbology class in fifth year, did you?”
“I did not come here to be attacked like this,” you claim defensively.
“Well, since you skipped so much, I thought that I could teach you what you missed. Show you the proper way to care for plants, not the way that the barbaric students of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry do. If you want, that is,” he says, smiling shyly. As if you were going to tell him no.
“I would love that, Hoseok,” you tell him. Hoseok beams and the golden of his robes seems to shine a little brighter.
Quickly, he scurries over and gets to work, pulling on some gloves and motioning for you to do the same. Once you’re all prepared, gloves and thick lab coat on to protect your robes, he begins to show you all of the plants he’s lined up, young trees that are still small enough to fit in pots, flowers with magical healing properties. One by one, he introduces you to them, tells you their name and their age like he’s showing you his children.
Ah, so these are the plants Hoseok cares for the most.
Normally there would be some snarky comment on the tip of your tongue, maybe a self-deprecating joke if you’re feeling extra spicy, but you don’t dare interrupt him as Hoseok’s talking, gestures animated and smile wide as he tells you everything he knows about the things he loves. There isn’t a word that even thinks about leaving your lips, not wanting to take away from the love Hoseok holds for these plants and the trust he has in you as he tells you about them.
“And this one only likes direct sunlight when the sun’s rising or setting, otherwise it gets too bright,” Hoseok says, a hand brushing along one of the thick, floppy leaves of the flower. It’s far past blooming season, so all that’s left of the annual blossom are the green bits that are holding onto the remnants of seasons past. “Keeping up?” He asks, leaning into you slightly with a hand on your wrist. “I know it’s a lot.”
“It’s wonderful,” you tell him honestly. “The fact that you know so much about these plants… spent so much time with them… it’s incredible.” You don’t think you’ve ever held so much dedication to anything in your life.
“Ah, well,” Hoseok says with a shrug, like the achievements he’s had in a subject like this mean nothing. Not everyone can do this—not everyone can speak the language of plants, of greenery, of nature. Perhaps Hoseok doesn’t notice this, but you do: the way that even just in his presence, the plants seem to perk up a little, drawn to him, to his existence, like bees to honey.
It’s like that, sometimes. Sometimes there are people so electric that you can’t help but be closer to them.
“Herbology is really all I have going for me,” Hoseok says, and even though it’s supposed to be a joke it sounds kind of sad. Sad like Hoseok really thinks the only thing he’s good for is agriculture. Sad, because Hoseok is so good at so many things that it’s turned his heart into gold. Priceless.
“That’s not true,” you respond instantly. You stop in place, making Hoseok turn to you from where he had been looking down at the pots, looking at you with a kind of helpless expression on his face. “There is so much more to you than Herbology.”
“Like what?” He asks somewhat skeptically, chuckling to himself.
“Like your smile,” you tell him immediately, making him grin a little bit, the corners of his mouth turning upwards. “And your laugh. People don’t go to you to ask for help because you’re good at Herbology. There are plenty of kids who are good at Herbology at Hogwarts. But they go to you, Hoseok, because you are someone who can teach them something. Because they know that you will treat them with respect. And because you’re good company.”
He’s silent.
“At least, I think you’re good company,” you add on. Knowing the students that walk the hallways of this magical school, there are people who take Hoseok’s gift for love for granted, coming to him just so they can get a better grade on this essay or finish this lab report. And maybe you don’t really care for grades and you haven’t done a lab report in years, but that doesn’t matter, because instead of knowing Hoseok as your homework helper, you know him as your friend.
“You do?” He asks, hopeful tone evident in his words.
“Yeah, I do,” you say back, meeting the dark brown of his irises with your own as they twinkle like stars, the fairy lights reflected in a sea of chocolate.
Hoseok smiles like it’s the last time he ever will and pulls you closer to him, handing you a freshly-filled watering can as he continues on with the lesson. And maybe, just maybe, the feeling of his arms wrapped around yours as he guides your grip on the watering can, showing you exactly how to hydrate the plant in front of you so as to ensure maximum consumption, makes your heart beat a little bit faster. Just maybe.
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Something that’s come along with plenty of experience as a class-skipper is extensive knowledge of the best ways to get off of campus. You’ve heard tales, legends and fables, of this magical map that shows everybody’s whereabouts at every point of the day, alongside all of the secret passageways out of the castle, but unfortunately you don’t have your hands on something like that, so you’ve had to learn on your own.
Sometimes there are just days where even the wide, open hallways of Hogwarts are too suffocating to stay in.
Because of this, you’ve become a frequenter of Hogsmeade on the average weekday, when students are definitely not supposed to be Hogsmeade regulars. But you never really fit into the status quo, anyway.
Besides, you don’t think anyone in your standard Hogwarts classes will miss you too much if you’re gone for the day.
Hoseok is in Greenhouse 2 when you find him right before the noon classes are in session. Specks of him, little glimpses of his figure are visible through the ivy that covers the walls as he speaks with Professor Sprout about something, watching as he towers over her much shorter frame. You’d probably join in on the conversation, but you and Sprout haven’t necessarily had a great relationship the past few years (re: skipped her class all the time) and though she’s kind, she’d rat you out in a heartbeat.
Instead, while you wait, you wander into Greenhouse 3, its walls still lined with lanterns and all of Hoseok’s favorite plants waiting on the table. Slowly, almost instinctively, you begin to brush your fingers along their petals, their leaves and stems, just as Hoseok does. It only feels natural—to treat them as gently as Hoseok does. You’d feel as though you’d be doing him a disservice if you didn’t.
Perhaps it’s because the skies are overcast today, but the plants look a little sad. Not in the sense that they’ve been poorly taken care of—because you know for certain that that’s not the case—but more that they seem to be drooping, like their moods are down.
“I know,” you hum to them softly, looking at them like you relate to them. “I feel better when I’m around him, too.”
You pick up the watering can by your feet, still half-full, and slowly begin to water the plants in front of you, remembering that this one prefers having the water drip down its massive leaves rather than right at its roots. As you do so, you hear the door open behind you.
“Thought I’d find you in here,” Hoseok muses.
“Guilty,” you say fondly, finishing up the last few drops of the watering can.
“Hey, you remembered how to water them!” Hoseok exclaims excitedly, watching as you empty the can and place it back on the cement floor. “I saw you waiting outside while I was talking to Sprout.”
“If you don’t mind me asking, what we you two chatting about?”
“Oh, she was just telling me about one of her old students that I remind her of,” Hoseok says with a shrug. “Said he was really good at Herbology, too. During the Second Wizarding War. Said he helped kill Voldemort.”
“Hmm, I don’t think you’re cut out for war,” you joke, making Hoseok roll his eyes.
“Oh, God. If I had to help kill Voldemort, I think I’d just die instead,” Hoseok responds back with a chuckle. “Anyway, what’s up?”
With a cheeky grin, you turn to face him, eyes alight with something devious waiting in them. “Do you want to go on a little trip with me?”
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A little trip consists of telling Hoseok to look as inconspicuous as possible as you run through the hallways of Hogwarts, scurrying around corners on your way to the passageway to Honeydukes. Acting inconspicuous is already much more of an issue for Hoseok than it is for you—most people don’t ever want to bother you if it appears you’re in the middle of something, whereas Hoseok will enter the Great Hall, laden in his yellow robes, and have a plethora of people waving to him.
But the idea of doing something so blatantly against school rules (re: sneaking out to Hogsmeade) seems to have no effect on the boy as he follows you around the courtyard, hand held tightly in yours until you reach the entrance to the tunnel. He’s paid no attention to the glares you’re getting, the confused stares sent your way as the two of you scamper through the campus. To him, this isn’t something bad. It’s something fun.
“Wow,” Hoseok says as you’re creeping through the passageway. Though it’s dark, it’s clearly been heavily used. It’s probably been here for centuries. “How long have you known about this?”
“Since third year,” you respond, boasting a bit. Your creativity when it comes to your delinquency is something you pride yourself on, ever so slightly.
“You’ve been sneaking out to Hogsmeade since third year?”
“Yes,” you admit casually. “This leads right to Honeydukes’ cellar. But you’re the first person I’ve ever shown this to, so don’t spill any of my secrets.”
“Really?” Hoseok asks. You can’t turn around to make out his face, not that you’ve even be able to in the darkness of this tunnel, but you can hear the way he smiles, lips curling upwards. “I’m honored.”
After a few more minutes you finally reach the trap-door into Honeydukes’ cellar, pushing it open with all your might until it pops unlocked, allowing the two of you to climb out of the tunnel and take a quick respite amongst the boxes and boxes of treats.
“Smells like…” Hoseok says, taking a quick survey of the room. “Smells like Honeydukes.”
What he means is that it smells like sweetness.
Before any of the workers can come down here and find the two of you hiding out amongst the storage compartments, the two of you sneak up into the store’s main room, pretending to be customers rather than stowaways. You don’t suspect Hoseok’s got any money on him, but you’ve brought enough for the both of you, knowing very well that you will probably end up purchasing something on this outing. Maybe you have little regard for school rules, but you’d never steal something.
“Want anything?” You ask, giving Hoseok a nudge when you catch him staring down some Pumpkin pasties.
“I don’t have any money on me,” Hoseok says sadly. “Next time, give me a day’s warning so I can prepare accordingly.”
“I’ll buy something for you,” you say, already reaching into the pocket of your robes to pull out a couple Galleons and a few more Sickles. You’re craving something as well, though you keep eyeing The Three Broomsticks for a nice cup of butterbeer.
“Oh, no, it’s alright,” Hoseok says immediately, but already one of the Honeydukes workers behind the display case has spotted you, smiling to himself as Hoseok insists that he doesn’t want you to buy him anything.
“Come on, please? You showed me all of your plants, the least I could do is buy you a pasty,” you try to reason with Hoseok, smiling up as the fond looks from the worker cause his cheeks to redden, a little embarrassed.
Hoseok seems to grumble his consent, knowing you won’t really take no for an answer when it comes to buying him something from Honeydukes. You end up purchasing two Pumpkin Pasties and escape any sort of questioning as to whether or not the two of you should be in school right now. It seems as though you aren’t the first group of Hogwarts students to play hooky for a day to go to Hogsmeade instead.
Hoseok’s already beginning to bite into his as you make your way out of Honeydukes and onto the single street that stretches down all of Hogsmeade, thanking you through a mouthful of Pumpkin Pasty.
“Let’s sit down before you finish that entire thing within the next three seconds,” you suggest warily, eyes wide as Hoseok opens his mouth for another bite. “I’m craving some Butterbeer.”
Hoseok nods in agreement, wrapping up his pasty and placing it back into the bag that the Honeydukes worker packed your purchase in, hand reaching out for your own. Instantly, your fingers interlock, and maybe it’s because you aren’t cooped up in a stuffy classroom, or a dingy dungeon, but it feels like a breath of fresh air.
You’re seated at a table in the back corner, far from anybody who may be suspicious of two student-age customers trying to be as unmemorable as possible. You order butterbeer for the table and immediately begin to dig into your own Pumpkin Pasty, a little crushed from all of the moving around. It still tastes just as nice as it always does.
“How often do you come here?” Hoseok asks after taking a sip of butterbeer.
“Not super often,” you reassure him. “I swear I don’t just… leave school all of the time. But when Hogwarts starts to get especially suffocating, I’ll come.”
“You feel it too, huh?” Hoseok asks, more to himself. Like he’s telling himself that he isn’t the only one who feels this way. “Like being there is almost… choking you to death.”
You nod in understanding, knowing fully well that there are some things that can’t be explained through words. Hogwarts is wonderful and you’re incredibly lucky to be there, but sometimes it feels like… like it’s pressing down on your shoulders, hands wrapped around your neck. Like you’re stuck in an endless cycle, rinse and repeat of the same exact day, no freedom or autonomy to do what you want and be who you are. Combining that with someone like you makes for a very poor recipe.
“Hogwarts has always been like that for me,” you tell him. “It’s kind of obvious why. I don’t really… fit in with the crowd.”
Hoseok nods. There’s a reason you were wary of befriending someone like him, someone who is well-liked and popular and not a public nuisance. Someone who is the complete opposite of you.
“And I don’t mean to say that in a cool, alternative way that makes me better than everyone else because I’m not some pretentious asshole. I mean… I love being a witch but being at Hogwarts makes me feel isolated. And that’s kind of my fault, too, because I’m probably the bothersome student in our year, but there’s no way for me to change anybody’s minds about me.” You sigh. Stuff like this—you hate talking about it. After spending seven years building up the walls that surround you, brick by brick, conversations like this make you feel as though all of that work has gone to waste.
Maybe Hoseok is the kind of person worth breaking your walls down for.
Hoseok nods, the mutual feeling going unspoken.
“I know where you’re coming from,” he says, and it feels like a slight shocker, hearing something like that from a boy who seems to have almost everything. “I know our situations are different but… oh, I don’t know. I feel sort of… empty? In a way? God, this is hard to explain.”
“Not to sound fake deep but believe me when I say I know what feeling empty is like,” you say, sort of joking, even as you reach your hand out across the table. He takes it instantly. Maybe things are beginning to feel different.
Or maybe this is how they’ve always been.
“Let me put it this way,” Hoseok says, taking a deep breath and another sip of butterbeer to clear his throat. “If people only know me for my aptitude for Herbology, then do people really know me at all?”
And then what happens is it clicks. The gears shift into place like a key into a lock, and you realize that even if you and Hoseok are nothing alike on the outside, you being a delinquent with an affinity for rule-breaking and him being a Herbology nerd who tutors first years in his free time, there’s a reason the two of you found each other. A reason that you ended up locking eyes on the bench outside Greenhouse 3. You don’t believe in prophecies, destiny or any other higher powers that act outside free will, but it feels sort of like that. Feels sort of like you and Hoseok were always meant to find each other. Even if it did take seven years.
“People know me for what I’ve done and not who I am,” Hoseok says. It feels sort of familiar.
“People know everybody like that,” you remind him.
Hoseok’s eyes gaze to where your hands are resting upon each other’s on this hard, splintered wooden table, and then he looks up at you. Suddenly, it’s as though you’re drowning in them. In his being. In him. “Not you,” he says.
Maybe things are beginning to feel different. But maybe this is how they’ve always been.
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Like in the real Wizarding World, news spreads around Hogwarts quickly. For the past few weeks or so, you and Hoseok have been meeting up at relatively quiet times during the day at Hogwarts, where very few students are out and about and even less are at the locations you frequently meet up at. But with your meetups becoming more and more plentiful, what has also increased is the number of students around you when you do spot Hoseok.
It isn’t a problem when you’re the subject of their whispers, their stares and pointed fingers. It’s never really been a problem anyway, not when it’s been this way for seven years and counting. You’re used to it.
But it is a problem when you begin to notice that it’s happening to Hoseok as well. That you being around him is like losing popularity in a shitty video game, where suddenly less and less people are interested in the both of you. He hasn’t seemed to notice—not yet, at least, he hasn’t—but when you’ve spent the past seven years of your life watching as other people glare at you, you begin to pick up on it.
It’s the small things. Small things like Hoseok walking into the Great Hall for lunch and instead of being greeted with waves, being greeted with whispers. Small things like him telling you, in the greenhouse one day, that he’s getting fewer requests for Herbology tutoring from the underclassmen. Small things like Namjoon barely saying hello when Hoseok greets him in the halls one day.
The real tragedy is how obsessed everyone at this school is with titles, with labels and popularity and association. How not only do you have to have the best grades and the coolest extracurriculars, you also have to have friends who are equally as high in Hogwarts status as you.
And it’s bullshit no matter who the vicious cycle ends up targeting, but it’s especially maddening when it’s someone like Hoseok. Someone who is only kind and giving and considerate, friendly and reliable, who, even with his faults, is still one of the best people to walk through the front gates of Hogwarts.
In the greenhouse the other day, as the two of you were caring for his plants, Hoseok told you he thought he was beginning to lose his touch with Herbology, as less and less students were asking him for help. And shit like that—that’s unacceptable.
Maybe Namjoon was right. Maybe, if you begin to be the person everyone expects you to be, it won’t be like this anymore.
Hoseok’s always been too good for you, anyway. What made you think this would be any different?
“You’re just another reject Hogwarts kid that doesn’t have a future outside of these walls. Maybe if you learn to conduct yourself properly, then you will.”
Things won’t change unless you do.
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For the first time in years, you wake up in time for your first class. In fact, you wake up a healthy hour before, having completed your homework early the previous night and tucked in before anyone else. Before you leave your dorm room to go and get breakfast, you make sure to water all of your succulents, the number of pots sitting on your windowsill now up to nine.
All of this is for Hoseok. Even if you didn’t realize it at first, everything you do is for him.
Your roommates don’t seem to know what to do with themselves when they see you, a full stack of the proper textbooks in your hand, as you walk out of the dormitory with your head held high, heading straight for the Great Hall. Despite what people may think, you are actually on top of most academic events in your life. Whether you choose to act on them or not, well, that’s always a toss-up.
You hope to get to breakfast early, as you have a test in Transfiguration today. It’s a written one with a single spell at the end, the one you’ve been working on perfecting for the past week. Granted, you, didn’t necessarily attend all of the Transfiguration classes in your schedule that were held in the past week, but you know enough. At least, with a bit of last minute studying, you do.
Hoseok’s begun to meet you in the Great Hall for breakfast, but by the time he’s strolling up to where you normally sit, you’ve already packing up your belongings.
“Do my eyes deceive me?” He asks playfully as he swings his body over the seat, sitting down across from you. “Or are you actually doing your homework?”
“I have a test today,” you say simply, turning back to finish gathering your books.
“Don’t tell me you’re actually thinking about going,” Hoseok says with a disbelieving chuckle. “You hate tests. You always say they’re a poor measure for actual intelligence and proof of learning because knowledge from books isn’t the same as the knowledge required for survival in the real world. Or something like that.”
“I’m rubbing off on you,” you say with a shake of your head. “But I really do have to go, Hoseok. I need to get to class.”
Hoseok seems a bit in shock, like he can’t believe the conversation he’s just exchanged with you. You’re normally much more playful, joking around and smiling. Even still, he sends you sort of a shocked wave, bidding you goodbye as you walk out of the Great Hall, trying your very best to ignore the stares sent your way. You feel your heart thud against your chest, as if it’s just fallen slightly.
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Your noon class is Charms, whose tower overlooks the courtyard with all of the greenhouses in it. Before your professor calls everyone to their seats, you quickly peer out of the window, just out of curiosity.
Below, waiting on the very bench where you first met, is Hoseok, clearly looking for someone.
Your heart sinks a little more.
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You get the highest grade on the Transfiguration test. As your professor is handing back your exams, she stops by you to congratulate you on a job well done. You look down at the E written in dark red ink on the front piece of parchment. As you page through, noticing the lack of red marks and slashes in comparison to the papers around you, you can’t help but feel yourself frowning. Sure, you did well on a test, but it means almost nothing in the grand scheme of things. All it tells you is not that you’ve mastered the material but that you’ve mastered the system.
Namjoon approaches you after your Transfiguration class. You had almost forgotten he was even in it to begin with—not because he’s quiet, but because you seldom attend your Transfiguration class in the first place. His angry red robes and loud, obnoxious personality are relatively difficult to ignore.
“Y/N,” he says, coming up to you as you’re headed out the door. You have to take a different path to Charms now, one that doesn’t take you anywhere near the greenhouses.
“Can I help you?” You ask politely, albeit bitterly. Namjoon isn’t necessarily one of the friendliest people you’ve met.
“I heard you did well on that test in Transfiguration,” he says casually.
“Yeah, I did,” you respond. There’s no point in boasting any further—Namjoon wouldn’t be talking to you if he didn’t already know you received the highest score.
“Good job. I’m impressed,” Namjoon says, and if that isn’t the world’s worst backhanded compliment. Suddenly you receive a decent mark and you’re being showered in false attention by one of the smartest kids in your year? No, thank you.
“Is that all? I really do have to get to my next class,” you say, trying to break away, but Namjoon is bigger and faster than you, and catches up quickly.
“Wait, Y/N, I wanted to ask how you knew Hoseok. Is he helping you get your grade up in Herbology as well?” Namjoon says, pulling you to the side of the hallway so the two of you can chat. You know you can’t necessarily make a break for it now.
“We’re friends,” you say stiffly. Your heart seems to plummet. Just a little.
“Oh. That’s interesting. You know, if you ever want to hang out with us and my friends, you’re welcome to.”
“Because I got the highest grade on our Transfiguration test? Because you suddenly realized I had more to offer than being a nuisance? Because suddenly, now I’m smart and worthy of your time?” You challenge, making Namjoon take a step back in shock. You’ve taunted and teased him before, but never like this. You’ve never directly shouted at him. “News flash, Namjoon. I don’t want to be a part of your crowd. I don’t need all of that fake validation and clout like you do. If grades are all you care about, talk to someone else. I will not be taken advantage of, especially not by you.”
In pure anger, true unadulterated rage, you storm off, leaving Namjoon standing at the side of the hallway outside of your Transfiguration room, speechless. Almost immediately do you find yourself heading towards the greenhouses, ready to rant to Hoseok about how much you hate this school and the people who attend it.
And then you reach Greenhouse 3 to find all of the lights off and the door locked, like it hasn’t been visited the entire morning.
It’s been over a week since you last exchanged more than three sentences with Hoseok. He hasn’t spoken to you in two days. You haven’t even seen him in one.
And yet, here you are, waiting for him like a fool. Like a desperate fool who’s lost the only friend you’ve had in a very, very long time.
Like a fool in love.
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When you walk into Charms that day, the very first thing you do is peer out the window. You know it’s hopeless, at this point, to be holding out for someone you’ve all but abandoned, but maybe. Just maybe.
Just as you reach the window, you spot a figure in yellow robes walking inside, not even bothering to spare a glance behind him, but it’s enough. Quickly, you pull out the homework assigned and leave it on the professor’s desk, rushing out of the room and bounding down the stairs, much to the displeasure and slight confusion of your fellow Charms classmates.
You reach the greenhouses in no time, banging on the door to Greenhouse 3 as you begin to catch your breath.
The door creaks open.
“Y/N?” Hoseok asks, looking only slightly worse for wear as he looks at you, almost as if he’s in shock that you’re even here. “Did you… run here?”
“It’s the most exercise I’ve done since you tricked me into getting on the Whomping Willow,” you joke, making him laugh slightly. Slowly, slowly, slowly. Slowly, the Hoseok you know is beginning to return.
“Hey, I promised that I knew how to control it, alright?” He says, letting you inside.
“That didn’t make it any less terrifying,” you tell him pointedly.
A silence settles around the both of you, neither of you knowing exactly what to say next. Hoseok seems to drift towards the watering cans, fingers itching to care for the plants behind you, but then he says, the most bitter you think you’ve ever heard him, “Don’t you have a class right now?”
“Hoseok…”
“Tell me the truth, Y/N,” Hoseok demands, turning to you. “Was it me? Am I the reason you stopped hanging out with me, coming down to the greenhouses? Is it something I did?”
“No—”
“Then why didn’t you tell me,” he pleads. “Why didn’t you explain what happened? I waited for you, right here, for the past week, and you never came. Every time I tried to talk to you, you dismissed me and went off to do your homework. I had to hear from Namjoon that you did well on your Transfiguration test. Why didn’t you want to tell me those things? I wouldn’t have told you the bullshit that Namjoon said to you. You know that I wouldn’t have.”
“Hoseok—”
“Y/N, I’ve been waiting for you. I’ve always been waiting for you. Why?”
“Because you’re too good for me!” You shout back, voice desperate, hoarse. “Because you are way, way too good for me. Don’t lie to yourself, Hoseok. You know that we’re different people. We started hanging out and people began to talk about you. You know that I’m the reason you stopped getting less tutoring requests? Because people began to associate you with me?”
“I don’t care! I don’t care about shit like that, Y/N. I hate that you’re always putting yourself down because you and I are different. That doesn’t make you worse than I do. You, of all people, should know that,” Hoseok responds, equally as distraught.
“I can’t help it! Everyone talks about it; I can’t just pretend it isn’t happening! Sure, I hate that this is how it is, but I can’t change that. You know I can’t change how this world works. But I can change myself, if you’d just let me explain—”
“You turned into a different person overnight, Y/N,” Hoseok says with a frown. “Suddenly you were doing your homework and going to class and being on time and it felt like you didn’t have time for me anymore! It was like I didn’t know you at all,” he trails off, looking down at his feet. “Why did you suddenly turn your life around? To impress everyone else? I never thought you’d turn into one of them, Y/N.”
Red flashes before your eyes. “You want to know why I changed?” You shout. Hoseok nods, furious. “Because I love you, Hoseok! That’s why I changed. Because I love you and you’re too good for me and I thought that maybe if I was a bit different, we’d have a better chance.”
Hoseok is speechless.
“I’m sorry,” you say, much quieter. “I hated the way people were treating you because of me and I know you probably don’t even feel the same way but I just felt like I had to do something, so I—”
Within the second, Hoseok is storming over to you, footsteps heavy, and planting his lips atop yours.
It catches you by surprise instantly, making you gasp into his mouth before you feel his hands come up to hold onto your waist, pulling you in tight. It’s not a deep kiss, no tongue or anything else, but that doesn’t make it any less meaningful. Doesn’t make the rays of heat that radiate off of his body bleed into your skin, warm you from the inside out. His hold feels like home and his lips taste a little bit like strawberry chapstick and pumpkin.
Eventually, you part, and all of the fight seems to have drained out of the both of you. Like you had forgotten why you were shouting in the first place.
“Do you mean it?” Hoseok asks, holding you close, hands having moved from your waist to your cheeks, to cradle your head in his palms.
“What?” You ask.
“You know what,” Hoseok says, rolling his eyes at your defiance.
“I do,” you hum softly, lips curling upwards.
“Good,” Hoseok says. “Because I do, too.”
“What, exactly, is it that you also do?” You ask cheekily. You really just want to hear him say it.
Hoseok groans, but follows it up with a gentle kiss, a simple press of lips against your forehead. “I love you, too.”
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You end up spending the rest of the day in the greenhouse with Hoseok (old habits die hard), caring for his plants and having the civil conversation you were probably meant to have before the whole argument from earlier in the day. You’ll never know what you missed in Charms that day, but that’s alright.
“I never got to congratulate you on getting the highest grade on your Transfiguration test,” Hoseok says.
“Ugh, don’t remind me. I don’t even want to talk about it.”
“You know, Y/N. You don’t need to 180 your personality if getting good grades and doing well in school is what you want.”
You stiffen at the implications of this conversation, hidden beneath Hoseok’s words.
“I’m serious,” he says, dropping the watering can in his hands on the ground and coming up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist to embrace you from the back. “I know it goes against your whole ‘school is a societal construct that ranks us via arbitrary values that are meaningless in the real world’ but you’re actually a genuinely intelligent person. You could stick it to someone like Namjoon, if you want. I’ll tell you he was floored when he found out you out-scored him on that test.”
“Was he, now?” You ask, interest piqued. Nothing quite like sticking it to people like Namjoon. You’re their worst nightmare: a public nuisance with brain cells.
“You bet,” Hoseok says.
“I may… consider it,” you tell him, feeling relatively keen on the idea. Sure, it’s the latter half of your seventh year, but it’s never too late to start getting good grades.”
“You better. I want to walk around and tell everyone about my genius girlfriend,” Hoseok says.
“Is that what I am now? Your girlfriend?” You tease, turning around in his hold so that you’re facing him.
“Is that what you want to be?” Hoseok asks, looking down at you.
“I may consider it,” you taunt playfully, making Hoseok roll his eyes.
“Consider it done,” Hoseok corrects you, pressing a kiss to your lips before reaching down to tickle you, ruthless as always. You burst into laughter, tears falling from your eyes as you shout at him to stop.
Maybe things are different now. But if you think about it, maybe this is how they’ve always been.
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⇒ hmu with feedback or just talk to me here!
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akatokuro · 5 years
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The Inevitable StS Rewatch, Episode 36
One of the most truly pressing issues in Saint Seiya canon: why the fuck is Milo like this?
- I SEE THAT SAGA SENSED THAT AIOLOS WAS TAKING A BATH, SO HE FELT THE NEED TO JUMP IN TOO! and thus a meme was born
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- Uhhhh, Saga? I know you probably had a crush on Aiolos at all, but... really, dude? ????????
- AND HEEEERE HEEEEE ISSSSSSSS
- Milo's ridiculous ego is on full display the second he opens his fucking mouth. No "what's going on, Pope?" or "How may I serve you?" but "WOW, POPE, FOR YOU TO SUMMON A GOLD SAINT! (DID I MENTION I'M A GOLD SAINT, BECAUSE I AM.)
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- MILO. ALL HE FUCKING DID WAS ASK IF YOU KNEW ABOUT THE SITUATION. What is the need for you to add "heh, not that I care, since I'm so awesome, just so you know!" Yes, a lot of Gold Saints have pretty overinflated egos - yume and I actually thought about it, and we're pretty sure Camus is just about the ONLY one who doesn't pull some form of smug "heh, a Bronze trying to fight a Gold? lmao, and also, rofl" but Scorpio Milo is... something else.
- Ikki working for Sanctuary at first still feels really weird and ill-fitting. Well, fortunately, it's not really dwelled on that much, so it's easily ignored! That's one of the good things about there being no real Saint Seiya canon... <_<
- In a way, though, it is certainly fitting that Milo's scene here is our first proper introduction to a "Gold Saint", because Milo certainly thinks he is THE Gold Saint in a lot of ways. It drips from the way he responds to everything. "Measly Bronze Saints, they must be crazy, lol!" It's actually really interesting to think he was originally planned to be Hyouga's master. Like, in some ways that really fits - Smugswan had to get the smug and the overinflated sense of ego from somewhere, and it sure as hell wasn't Camus!
- It's also sort of interesting because Kurumada pulled the switcheroo on the basis of "oooh, ice/water themed signs, oooh!" But even at this stage, Milo definitely has a very, very different personality than Marshmallow Saint Camus. What would he and Hyouga's hypothetical encounter have looked like, really...?
- I'm not trying to imply, by the way, that Milo's sense of egotism is solely about straightforwardly boosting himself up - because it's not. It's intertwined with his perception of Saint honor and what it means to him to embody that, which becomes clear in how he deals with Camus, Hyouga, and Kanon respectively later on. It's also intertwined with a negative five thousand debuff to his intelligence stat, but, you know.
- I love Saga just sort of ignoring Milo going WHAT? A BRONZE BEATING A SILVER? RIDICULOUS, I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF SUCH A THING! and continuing to exposit. Saga, why the fuck did you summon Milo of all people here to deal with this in the first place? I mean, not only would leaning on Aphrodite, Deathmask, or even Shura make infinitely more sense, but... it's fucking Milo. Did your bath-bonding with Aiolos rattle your judgment temporarily?  
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- And right back at him, Milo basically brushes aside poor Saga's exposition to go "ARE YOU SERIOUSLY BOTHERING THE GREAT KONO MILO WITH THIS BULLSHIT, POPE? REALLY??? KONO MILO, THE GOLD SAINT???"
- Saga begins to realize his terrible, terrible mistake and cuts off Milo in the middle of his bitching, but Milo ignores him to continue whining.
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- See, it'd be one thing if Milo suggested that the situation bore more investigation, or perhaps these Bronze Saints were being misled so they shouldn't be so fast to jump to the execution option, but no. It's all about his fucking pride.
- Saga is getting so edgy and short at this point and oh my god I cannot believe Milo is still fucking trying to argue with him THIS IS THE FUCKING POPE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
- Like, yume and I utterly lost our fucking minds at Milo blowing off Athena to haze Kanon when we were re-watching the Hades OAVs, but oh god it is extremely fucking consistent with this characterization here
- Poor Saga. "LOOK, THEY HAVE A FUCKING GOLD CLOTH, OKAY!?!? JESUS CHRIST WHY THE FUCK DID I NOT GET APHRODITE TO DO THIS"
- okay okay i know it's because lol seat of the pants kurumada making shit up as he went along and was promptly retconned out because it makes no sense but i will never stop laughing at milo being shocked that there are twelve gold saints. WHAT??? NOT JUST SCORPIO AND SAGITTARIUS???? WHO WOULD HAVE EVER GUESSED???? THEY COME IN, LIKE, A SET????
- Kanon pretending he's Sea Dragon is the funniest moment in Saint Seiya, but Milo's spectacular intelligence debuff is also a consistent point of hilarity.
- Shaina's crush on Seiya might be, like, one of my least favorite things in StS seriously. It's so unnecessary and it IS basically a pitch-perfect example of that "behind the ruthless, frightening female warrior lies ~the soft heart of a woman~ that only the dreamy male protagonist can truly uncover!" trope that I fucking despise with all my being.
- yume and I were cracking the fuck up to discover that the Tencent version of this sequence has Seiya bringing up the Saintias when Shaina explains the mask issue. Like, my issues with Saintia Sho as a series aside, that's just really adorable.
- The mask issue in general... there are really interesting things that you could do with it, both for Sainthood in general and for Shaina as an individual (the vibe I get is that Shaina takes it unusually seriously, even though it is accepted as a general rule) since it feels like sort of a mark of sexism that would be a part of an old, traditional, religious order - but I can't say I'm a fan of any attempts so far in the series to "address" it. Omega was a thing, and that thing was Bad.
- "Kill or love" is pretty bullshit, though. How about "kill or be expelled from Sanctuary"? I also don't really like Seiya being all "what, is that the only reason?" when he thinks it's about humiliation/pride - like, what's wrong with that? It makes sense with how Shaina has been characterized...
- this flashback is so fucking stupid
- OH NO, SEIYA, YOU SAW ME PET A RABBIT WHEN YOU WERE A LITTLE KID AND I WAS A TEENAGER AND THUS YOU HAVE UNLOCKED MY SOFT WOMAN'S HEART! I bet Seiya fucking tried to jump a high bar, too, as every single woman from the Fate franchise happened to be strolling by?
- Like, Shaina, did you fall in love with this little kid who talked down to you then or... because uhhh...
- Also, like, yeah, it's Saint Seiya, and "pulled things out of my ass" and "retconned" are the name of the game, but come on, there was no indication of this kind of past in all the screentime Shaina has had up until this point. Wasn't her grudge against him regarding Marin and Cassios and being defeated by him in battle enough? Do we really have to enforce her ~femininity~ that Seiya ~exposed~ too? Ugh ugh ugh.
- Whatever, I really do like Shaina, this garbage aside. It's just a shame we fell back on this dumb trope of all things to justify her transition into one of the good guys when it was wholly unneeded.
- Aaaand we're back to Milo and Saga. I love how the framing of this episode implies that Saga has been sitting there having to explain things very slowly to Milo all fucking day. Gonna need another bath to unwind after this shit, Gemini.
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- HAVE I MENTIONED, POPE, THAT I AM A GOLD SAINT, AND THUS I AM AMAZING? I'M NOT SURE YOU KNEW. LET ME MENTION IT AGAIN. I'M A GOLD SAINT, BY THE WAY.
- And Lia enters the scene!
- Okada made this an explicit issue in Episode G, but the contrast between fully-decked-out-in-his-Cloth "have I mentioned in the last five minutes that I am a Gold Saint, preen preen" Milo and Lia--who strolls in WITHOUT his Cloth, just his regular training clothes - is really striking.
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- Milo's face when Lia comes in... hmmm...
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- I don't think Saga, like, actively made a point of or went out of his way to play ~mind games~ with Aiolia or anything, but this is definitely a deliberate passive-aggressive diss. The kind you would give when it's like, ah yes, I ruined this kid's life, let me just innocuously twist the knife a little here...
- You really can understand why Aiolia is as fucking mad and as fucking repressed as he is, from the dressed-up hostility coming from both sides in this whole amazing shitstorm.
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- This is... an amazing moment. "What if I still wanted Milo to go?" "Eh, I'd kick his fucking ass." And Milo's EXCUSE ME!?!?! reaction lmfaooooo
- You can just sense the stony bitterness coming off of Lia here, though? This is a dangerous game to play, considering the whole rule about "no duels between Saints." Just the sheer dismissiveness of it, too. Just as Saga gets in his passive-aggressive digs against Aiolia, Lia gets his in against... Milo, lol?
- And Milo starts trying to argue with the Pope AGAIN and Saga finally just tells him to shut the hell up. Saga confirmed for legitimately impressive patience honestly.
- God, and Lia just leaves once he gets the confirmation. I LOVE that Aiolia went through this whole thing since coming in without saying a single fucking word to Milo or sparing him more than a glance. Please, just ask this man about his opinion of Scorpio Milo, I’m begging you.
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- MILO FOR FUCK'S SAKE.
- And Saga is the one who points out that, BECAUSE of his history and his relation to Aiolos, he has a compelling reason to work on this case in particular. Milo just stops at HOW COULD YOU RELY ON HIM HE HAS TRAITOR'S BLOOD. The intelligence debuff is real.
- But, yeah, you can tell Lia has cause to be as cold, dismissive, and passive-aggressive towards Milo as he was. They... they do not have a good relationship.  
- It legitimately boggles my mind how there is a weird semi-common fanon about Milo and Lia being close friends, or Milo being this great guy who was so supportive of him. I've run across it multiple times in my hunts for cute fanart or interesting discussion, and I feel like I'm staring at an incomprehensible alien entity every time. Like. Where did you get that. How did. The characterization we get from both of them indicates the exact opposite. I would not be remotely surprised if Aiolia, as bitter and angry as he truly is, is going to hold a grudge against Milo until the end of time, long after Milo has forgotten about it.
- Rather than being his friend, Milo is literally the ONLY Gold Saint we see actually giving Aiolia shit for being a traitor's brother. Like I mentioned back in the Silver Saint scene with Aiolia, yume and I actually talked about this - since she is a raving Aiolia fan and all - about the possible sources of Lia's torment from his peers. The shitty Silver Saints, yes, and Deathmask, yes, because he's actively malicious in general, but he wouldn't be rubbing it in because he actually cares or thinks Lia having "traitor blood" actually means something. MILO sure does, though!
- Milo is prideful, often in shallow ways, and incredibly overbearing about that pride, thinking he has the right to lecture and judge and override others, including Athena herself. There is like literally no question in my mind that he is friends with Camus because Camus is basically the only person who knows him who will actually tolerate him.
- Milo: "Hmm, lots of people don't trust the Pope, and no one has seen his face. WHAT COULD IT MEAN??? welp back to my temple wonder what camus is up to"
- "Brother, I will make up for your sin, even if I have to sacrifice my life!" with a thousand-yard stare. Aiolia, you really, really need some therapy, badly...
- Man, I was gonna cover more episodes with this writeup, but it ends up I had a lot of ranting bottled up about GOD MILO WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU. Oh well. Next time, Aiolia continues to have serious, serious psychological problems! A good time is had by all!
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fallout4holmes · 5 years
Text
Journal 42
Valentine seems to have made a full recovery. He's spent the past few days teaching Shaun how to play baseball. Duncan is eager to join, but hasn’t yet developed the hand-eye coordination to catch. Shaun manages to include him by practicing running the bases, and chasing after the occasional ground ball. Of course, then the boys have to compete with Dogmeat, but it seems to be working well.
I never imagined I would one day be describing the antics of my partner, son, and the family dog, playing baseball with the neighbor's boy. I was willing to give a measure of domesticity a try of course, otherwise Shaun would never have been born, but I don't think I expected to succeed. Then again, this is hardly a typical domestic life.
I digress. MacCready has been a bit stir crazy with nothing to do apart from watch his son like a hawk, which proved an excellent incentive to get him involved in Minutemen affairs. When the Abernathy family reported oncoming super mutants, MacCready was more than willing to lend his gun to the fight. There was no time to lose; a small squadron of Minutemen comprised of Brown, Jackson, Michaels, and Mr. MacCready, left immediately for the farm. I was tempted to follow, but it would have undermined the opportunity for the three Minutemen to complete a mission on their own.
According to the Abernathy family, it went well. The family had taken shelter inside the house as soon as they spotted the mutants coming from a long distance, firing from the windows as soon as the mutants were in range. The turrets around the field were a help, but were soon destroyed. Abernathy was wounded in the fire fight, and a super mutant managed to get up to the door. It broke through the old wood and was met by Mrs. Abernathy and a shotgun as their daughter kept firing at the others with her pistol.
Then a rifle fired outside, and a super mutant fell. Another shot, another dead mutant. Laser musket fire joined the fray, a mutant disintegrating into a pile of red ash. The Minutemen attacked the mutants from behind, taking them by surprise and creating a second front. MacCready made his way to the roof and fired from above. Blake Abernathy was impressed. He insisted they stay the night as repayment for a job well done.
“You did well,” I said to the three Minutemen when they reported in at headquarters the next day. “Mr. Abernathy spoke well of your performance, and your willingness to help around the farm even though you were guests.” I smiled, “Good work. I'm sure Lt. Col. Danse and Col. Garvey would be proud. Dismissed.”
The Minutemen flushed with pride at the praise and chatted as they made their way to the barracks. I approached Mr. MacCready, leaning against a wall in the corner. “How much do I owe you?”
He blinked in surprise, and shrugged with a smirk, “Eh, Abernathy fed us and let us bunk up, offered a few caps to ‘the cause.’ Way I understand it, that’s pretty standard fee for Minutemen. He threw in a few extra supplies for me when he found out I wasn’t one.”
“Yet I'm the one who asked you to assist.”
MacCready shook his head, “You and me, we're good. I said I can't ever repay you, and I meant it. You point, I shoot. Any tips I happen to pick up on the way are just a nice bonus. If I ever get strapped for caps, I'll take a job protecting caravans or weird bored pre-war detectives.”
I chuckled, “If you meet any more of those, be sure to let me know. However, I feel it worth mentioning that you simply cannot live by your own wits and skill anymore. You have a son to care for, which means you need a place to put down roots.”
He folded his arms, “Sounds like you got an idea.”
“The Finch family have space to accommodate, and you would function as a regular patrolman between Finch Farm and County Crossing, perhaps even as far south as The Slog.”
He made a face, “Minuteman-backup doesn't sound great, boss.”
A whir of servos and the heavy step of power armor entered. “Not enough money in it for you?”
MacCready scoffed, “Sorry, Danse, couldn’t hear what you said over all that clanking.”
“Welcome back, gentlemen,” I intervened. “MacCready, you already met Danse, but let me introduce Col. Preston Garvey, second in command of the Minutemen. Preston, this is Robert Joseph MacCready. He's a mercenary by trade, but I’m trying to change that. You’ll be hard pressed to find a better shot with a sniper rifle.”
Preston wasn't sure what to make of Danse and MacCready's interaction, but held out a hand to MacCready, “Any friend of the General's is welcome.”
MacCready doubted that, but shook hands, “Thanks.”
“Can I ask how you know him?”
“Met when I was having some trouble with Gunners.”
“It was in the Third Rail in Goodneighbor,” I tried to interject, but it was too late.
“What sort of trouble?” Preston asked, focused and concerned.
MacCready brushed it off, “They were just pissed off about me doing business on ‘their’ turf. That was bull, but I guess they don't take kindly to people quitting.”
The concern on Preston's face hardened to something entirely different. “Quitting. You're a Gunner?”
MacCready rolled his eyes, “You see a tattoo on my face? I was a hired gun, it's what I do. Speaking of Gunners, I heard you took back your castle. Got any plans for Quincy?”
“MacCready,” I warned.
“Just sayin’, be a hell of a statement.”
A small knock on the door interrupted. “Dad?” Shaun called.
“You can come in, son, it's alright.”
He opened the door just enough to look inside. “Oh, good! Duncan wanted to know if Mr. MacCready was back when we saw the other soldiers.”
MacCready sighed, “I keep telling you, kid, drop the 'mister.’”
“Sorry, that's what Dad always calls you.”
“Yeah well, your dad's weird.” He followed Shaun out.
Preston turned to me, “A Gunner?!”
“He isn't a Gunner,” I said. “He didn't know what they were until he was hired and found them to be no better than animals. They harassed him with threats and made it nearly impossible for him to do business independently. Then he met me, we eliminated a Gunner waystation, found the cure for his son's deadly illness, and he left to save him. I'm glad to see he succeeded.”
Preston frowned, “He's still a mercenary.”
“He attempted being a farmer, and was terrible at it. I'm hoping to convince him to be a soldier.”
Preston sighed, still doubtful but resigned, “I guess we can use the help. Finch Farm will appreciate the extra set of eyes, at least.”
I counted that as close to acceptance as I was going to get from Preston under the circumstances and changed the subject, “I'm glad to see the two of you home safe.”
Danse, who had been silently watching Preston the entire time, said, “It's good to be back, sir.”
It was an automatic response that would have been genuine were he not worried for the man next to him. “How was Far Harbor?”
Danse focused on me. “Far Harbor seems to be doing well, as is Acadia. Both places know the Minutemen are willing to help if called upon.”
“Excellent. The troops will be overjoyed to see you both again and have some normalcy restored to their routine.”
“Do I want to know what you've done to them?” Danse grinned.
“I'm sure they'll tell you all about it,” I smiled, “but I did go through the effort of a formal report if you desire to read the full story in detail. Now, I will happily let you gentlemen get back to your duties, while I resume the humble position of a detective.”
“Leaving right away, General?” Preston asked.
“Oh, I'll wait til tomorrow, see if I can get MacCready to agree to a slightly more stable life for his son. Then Valentine, Shaun, and I will head home. Good day, gentlemen.”
The return of Preston and Danse did indeed spark a new energy through the settlement. The soldiers were both relieved and apprehensive in a fond sort of way to return to Danse's expectations. Preston immediately went right to work in the office, reading reports and making note of everything he missed… after he gathered his few possessions and delivered them to Danse's house, that is. No one was surprised by this.
In fact, my greatest surprise of the day came from MacCready, for a reason that had never once occurred to me.
It was later in the evening. Shaun was reading to me from an issue of Astoundingly Awesome Tales before he went to bed. It was utterly ridiculous, but he was enjoying it. There was a frantic knock at the door. Valentine answered and found MacCready outside, who asked if he could speak to me, saw he was interrupting, said, “Damn, sorry, just… I’ll be out here when you’re done.”
“Wonder what that’s about,” Valentine muttered as he closed the door again.
“We’ll find out,” I said, and urged Shaun to finish the story.
Valentine volunteered to take over bedtime preparations once the story was done. I stepped outside to see what had my mercenary friend in such a state.
“What is it, MacCready, has something happened?”
MacCready was agitated, demanding in a hushed voice, “Why am I hearing from the soldiers that this Danse guy is a synth??”
I confess, I blinked in confusion. “Because he is one.”
“And you’re ok with that?!”
I was stern, “Considering the nature of my partner, yes, I am.”
MacCready rolled his eyes, “Valentine doesn’t count, he’s an ex-Institute toaster, I’m talking about an actual synth, the kind that pretend to be other people!”
“The kind like Roger Warwick, who you offered to rid of a potential threat to his true identity? I believe your words were ‘I don’t care if you’re metal or flesh, no one should split apart your family?’” MacCready scowled and started to respond, but I was… aggravated. “Paladin Danse was as loyal a soldier as you will ever find, and though misled into believing their superior race drivel, a good man at heart. He never knew he was a synth, and upon the discovery he was perfectly willing to kill himself to set an example. I managed to talk him out of it, and convince him to make something of his life. Since coming to Sanctuary, Lt. Col. Danse has done nothing but act with dignity and honor, and has made remarkable progress toward accepting those he would once have scorned. I would readily trust him with my life.”
The only description I have for MacCready’s expression was a pout. “I hope you’re right about that.”
“I’m certain I am. And one more thing, Mr. MacCready,” I stepped closer. MacCready stopped his hand from drifting to his weapon. “If you ever call Nick Valentine ‘an ex-Institute toaster’ again, I will not hesitate to end our contract, permanently.”
I went back inside.
“Good talk, huh?” Valentine asked from his seat on the sofa as he lit a cigarette.
“Irritating,” I muttered as I sat next to him. He handed me the cigarette and lit another for himself.
“You wanna tell me what happened?”
“I failed to account for the possibility that not all of my close acquaintances share my opinion on synths.”
Valentine made an amused sound. “Hell, Holmes, most of ‘em probably don’t. So was MacCready’s problem with me, Danse, or Curie? Or just the Minutemen policy of not shooting synths in general?”
“Danse specifically, though I imagine he isn’t fond of the general policy either.”
“Hm. Must think Preston’s insane, then.”
I scoffed, “I sincerely doubt he even noticed they’re living together now.”
“Everyone else did.”
“Everyone else has known they’re lovers for months.” I put out my cigarette and stood, “I’m going to attempt to get some rest before the trip back tomorrow.”
“Good,” Valentine smiled. “Proud of you for suggesting it on your own this time, instead of waiting for me to drag you.”
I smiled fondly and kissed him briefly. “Goodnight, Nick.”
“Goodnight, Sherlock.”
MacCready found me in the morning as we were preparing to leave. “Hey, boss,” he hurried up to me, sheepish. “So, uh. I guess you were mad enough to get Valentine worried, so he found me last night and laid out what happened with Danse. How the Brotherhood want him dead, standing up to Maxson in the face, all that.” I was surprised to hear it, but it didn’t surprise me at all that Valentine had done such a thing. MacCready continued, “The way you stuck your neck out for Danse... well, it says a lot about you. And I know you’re not the kind of guy who just believes anything he’s told. Always gotta know everything about everyone, don’t you? Hell, that’s how we met. So… I don’t like it, but I’ll deal with it.”
I couldn’t quite believe what I was hearing. “Are you saying you overreacted?”
His discomfort vanished, “Hell no, I think I reacted just fine. Just saying I should mind my own business. Danse is a synth, fine. The hell do I care?” He glanced away before adding, “And, uh… I won’t insult your family again. I don’t understand how it even works, but family’s family. So.” He met my gaze then, sincere. “Sorry.”
I nodded. “Apology accepted. I suppose you’ll be heading east?”
He was relieved by the change of subject, “Yeah, figured Duncan and I would go with you to Diamond City, then catch a caravan up from there to Finch Farm. Way I hear it, these Forged lunatics are just raiders with a fire obsession. Flamethrowers won’t do them any good if they’re dead before they get close enough to use it.”
“And your payment?”
He shrugged, “Roof over our heads, plenty of food, maybe Duncan will learn something about farming…” He sighed, “What the hell am I doing?”
I put a hand on his shoulder with a smile, “Give it a try, MacCready. If it simply can’t work, then you can try something else.”
He nodded, still uncertain, but less than before. “Yeah. Ok. Well, Duncan and I are ready whenever you are.”
And so we said our goodbyes and made our way home to Diamond City.
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dfroza · 3 years
Text
At the closing of a Letter
Paul points to the significance of planting seeds in life, and what they grow into...
Today’s reading from the New Testament is the 6th chapter of Galatians
[Nothing but the Cross]
Live creatively, friends. If someone falls into sin, forgivingly restore him, saving your critical comments for yourself. You might be needing forgiveness before the day’s out. Stoop down and reach out to those who are oppressed. Share their burdens, and so complete Christ’s law. If you think you are too good for that, you are badly deceived.
Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.
Be very sure now, you who have been trained to a self-sufficient maturity, that you enter into a generous common life with those who have trained you, sharing all the good things that you have and experience.
Don’t be misled: No one makes a fool of God. What a person plants, he will harvest. The person who plants selfishness, ignoring the needs of others—ignoring God!—harvests a crop of weeds. All he’ll have to show for his life is weeds! But the one who plants in response to God, letting God’s Spirit do the growth work in him, harvests a crop of real life, eternal life.
So let’s not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don’t give up, or quit. Right now, therefore, every time we get the chance, let us work for the benefit of all, starting with the people closest to us in the community of faith.
Now, in these last sentences, I want to emphasize in the bold scrawls of my personal handwriting the immense importance of what I have written to you. These people who are attempting to force the ways of circumcision on you have only one motive: They want an easy way to look good before others, lacking the courage to live by a faith that shares Christ’s suffering and death. All their talk about the law is gas. They themselves don’t keep the law! And they are highly selective in the laws they do observe. They only want you to be circumcised so they can boast of their success in recruiting you to their side. That is contemptible!
For my part, I am going to boast about nothing but the Cross of our Master, Jesus Christ. Because of that Cross, I have been crucified in relation to the world, set free from the stifling atmosphere of pleasing others and fitting into the little patterns that they dictate. Can’t you see the central issue in all this? It is not what you and I do—submit to circumcision, reject circumcision. It is what God is doing, and he is creating something totally new, a free life! All who walk by this standard are the true Israel of God—his chosen people. Peace and mercy on them!
Quite frankly, I don’t want to be bothered anymore by these disputes. I have far more important things to do—the serious living of this faith. I bear in my body scars from my service to Jesus.
May what our Master Jesus Christ gives freely be deeply and personally yours, my friends. Oh, yes!
The Letter of Galatians, Chapter 6 (The Message)
Today’s paired chapter of the Testaments is the 17th chapter of First Kings that introduces Elijah:
And then this happened: Elijah the Tishbite, from among the settlers of Gilead, confronted Ahab: “As surely as God lives, the God of Israel before whom I stand in obedient service, the next years are going to see a total drought—not a drop of dew or rain unless I say otherwise.”
God then told Elijah, “Get out of here, and fast. Head east and hide out at the Kerith Ravine on the other side of the Jordan River. You can drink fresh water from the brook; I’ve ordered the ravens to feed you.”
Elijah obeyed God’s orders. He went and camped in the Kerith canyon on the other side of the Jordan. And sure enough, ravens brought him his meals, both breakfast and supper, and he drank from the brook.
Eventually the brook dried up because of the drought. Then God spoke to him: “Get up and go to Zarephath in Sidon and live there. I’ve instructed a woman who lives there, a widow, to feed you.”
So he got up and went to Zarephath. As he came to the entrance of the village he met a woman, a widow, gathering firewood. He asked her, “Please, would you bring me a little water in a jug? I need a drink.” As she went to get it, he called out, “And while you’re at it, would you bring me something to eat?”
She said, “I swear, as surely as your God lives, I don’t have so much as a biscuit. I have a handful of flour in a jar and a little oil in a bottle; you found me scratching together just enough firewood to make a last meal for my son and me. After we eat it, we’ll die.”
Elijah said to her, “Don’t worry about a thing. Go ahead and do what you’ve said. But first make a small biscuit for me and bring it back here. Then go ahead and make a meal from what’s left for you and your son. This is the word of the God of Israel: ‘The jar of flour will not run out and the bottle of oil will not become empty before God sends rain on the land and ends this drought.’”
And she went right off and did it, did just as Elijah asked. And it turned out as he said—daily food for her and her family. The jar of meal didn’t run out and the bottle of oil didn’t become empty: God’s promise fulfilled to the letter, exactly as Elijah had delivered it!
Later on the woman’s son became sick. The sickness took a turn for the worse—and then he stopped breathing.
The woman said to Elijah, “Why did you ever show up here in the first place—a holy man barging in, exposing my sins, and killing my son?”
Elijah said, “Hand me your son.”
He then took him from her bosom, carried him up to the loft where he was staying, and laid him on his bed. Then he prayed, “O God, my God, why have you brought this terrible thing on this widow who has opened her home to me? Why have you killed her son?”
Three times he stretched himself out full-length on the boy, praying with all his might, “God, my God, put breath back into this boy’s body!” God listened to Elijah’s prayer and put breath back into his body—he was alive! Elijah picked the boy up, carried him downstairs from the loft, and gave him to his mother. “Here’s your son,” said Elijah, “alive!”
The woman said to Elijah, “I see it all now—you are a holy man. When you speak, God speaks—a true word!”
The Book of 1st Kings, Chapter 17 (The Message)
my personal reading of the Scriptures for monday, november 30 of 2020 with a paired chapter from each Testament of the Bible, along with Today’s Psalms and Proverbs
A post by John Parsons that reflects upon our time while in this world and our longing for Love:
You may sometimes feel lonely and afraid, wondering if anyone really cares for you; you may feel abandoned to wander about in your heartache, without a sense of acceptance or "place" for your life; you may feel estranged from others, in a place of desperation, a silent scream, without apparent comfort in the world... These are real feelings and I do not discount them, though often such feelings arise from unbelief, or at least from questioning whether God's love is for you, after all.
Friend, there is an intimate comfort for your mourning; there is heavenly consolation for the grief and emptiness you feel inside. Look again to the cross and attend to God's passion for you; believe in the miracle of Yeshua's love for you; by faith see his blood shed for you... He knows your alienation: he was "despised and rejected of men"; he knows the pains of your heart: he was a "man of sorrows acquainted with grief"; he knows the heartache of being forsaken, abandoned, and utterly betrayed. Indeed Yeshua knows your infirmities; he understands how you hurt and calls you to his comfort... Therefore when feelings of loneliness well up within you, go inward to commune with the Spirit. Ask God for his consolation so that you too might console others who are suffering (2 Cor. 1:3-4). Do not lose hope but foresee your blessed future. Focus on the coming day of healing for all the world. Remind yourself again and again that you are never really alone, that nothing can separate you from God's love, and that God's Name is "I-am-with-you-always," "I am your Abba, your Imma, your true home and place of belonging, all your dreams of love will come true, and unimaginable beauty and endless delight await you in the glories of the world to come.”
“Whoever has God truly has a companion in all places, both on the street and among people.. Why is this so? It is because such people posses God alone, keeping their gaze fixed upon him, and thus all things reveal God for them.... Such people bear God in all their deeds and in the places they go, and it is God alone who is the author of all they do.” - Eckhart (Talks of Instruction)
You will never feel safe as long as you regard the acceptance of who you are as conditional, since you will only be as secure as your own best efforts, a project that will exhaust you in the end. Instead you must know yourself as truly loved by God, just as the “prodigal son” came to know his father’s unconditional love and acceptance despite his many misdeeds (Luke 15:11-32). The incarnation of Jesus means that God “runs to meet and embrace you,” regardless of whatever happened in your life that made you run away from home. And whatever else it may be, sin is the separation from God’s love, but Yeshua made the decision to die for your sins before you were born. Your sin cannot overrule God’s surpassing and personal love for your soul, since God gave up his very life for you to find life.
The Hebrew word for “life” is chayim (חַיִּים), a plural noun that contains two consecutive letter yods (יי) that picture two “hands held together” (the Hebrew word yad [יָד] means “hand”), or the union of our spirit with God’s Spirit. The word itself reveals that there is no life apart from union with God, who extends his hand to you and says, “Live in me” (John 15:4). We live in him by faith, receiving our daily bread as his flesh and our drink as his blood (John 6:53). Yeshua is the Source of all life, and we find nourishment, strength, and fullness of joy in his life. The Lord is our light and our salvation, the Mediator of divine life (Psalm 27:1; John 1:4). As it is written, “Whoever has the Son has the life; but whoever does not have the Son of God does not have the life” (1 John 5:12).
The Lord is also called “the God of breath” (Gen. 2:7; Num. 16:22). The Hebrew word for breath is ruach (רוּחַ), a word that means both “spirit” and “wind.” God is as close as your breath and surrounds you like the unseen yet encompassing air. Since God’s name YHVH (יהוה) means “Presence” (Exod. 3:13-14), “Life” (Deut. 30:20), and “Love” (Exod. 34:6-7), he is the Beloved, the “I-am-with-you-always” lover of your soul. So fear not; you are never really alone. Yeshua breathes out to you and says, “Receive the Holy Spirit” (John 20:22). [Hebrew for Christians]
https://hebrew4christians.com/
11.30.20 • Facebook
Today’s message from the Institute for Creation Research
November 30, 2020
Come Forth as Gold
“That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ.” (1 Peter 1:7)
These words of Peter are certainly applicable today, but they have always been true. That proper character and testimony are of supreme importance to God was certainly recognized by godly Job in the midst of his heavy trials, for he claimed: “But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold” (Job 23:10). The context for this stirring statement of faith proves instructive.
Just as most people do, whether Christian or not, Job appealed to heaven for relief from his troubles (v. 3). Job felt he was suffering unjustly and wanted to state his case before God (v. 4), but more importantly, Job desired to know God’s will in the matter. “I would [i.e., desire to] know the words which he would answer me, and understand what he would say unto me” (v. 5). He knew God well enough to know that God had a purpose in his suffering, and Job asked for knowledge of that purpose. Job knew God’s goodness, that He would not punish him for his questions, and felt that greater understanding would give him strength to continue. But without God’s revelation, Job knew he was unable to understand or even find God (vv. 8-9). God mercifully and lovingly allows trials to discipline, guide, and develop us. Such trials will, in the end, work to our advantage as impurities are removed, leaving behind only that which is lasting and precious.
The goal of our lives should be to bring “praise and honour and glory” unto our Lord, and if tribulation can best accomplish these goals, so be it! As David said, “Before I was afflicted I went astray: but now have I kept thy word” (Psalm 119:67). God knows what is best for us. He knows what He is doing, and we can rest in that fact. JDM
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theshrewdscribbler · 6 years
Text
Me, Too - A Necessary Conversation
The first time it happened to me, I didn’t understand much of what was going on.  I didn’t ask to be touched or have my private parts stimulated with fingers or his mouth.  I didn’t consent to give a grown man fellatio.  I didn’t ask to view XXX pornographic magazines depicting lewd displays of men and women, including group sex. I didn’t know even know what was happening to me was wrong because the first time it happened to me, I was 2 1/2 years old and this man was my biological father.  This kind of abuse continued over many weekends for over four years.  
When I was 7 years old and walking to school by myself, I would chastise myself for forgetting to cross the street or to take the longer way home to avoid the landscapers who would catcall me as I walked by.  A first grader, whistled at, catcalled. 
When I was 9 years old, a next-door neighbor who seemed grandfatherly and kind enough knew I loved to swim but my grandmother who watched me while my mom was working didn’t get out much and couldn’t take me, so he offered to take me to the community pool. I remember feeling grateful to get the chance to go swimming more often.  I didn’t know I had to give him something in return.  Always touching me under the water, under my swimsuit, he delighted in seeing what he could get away with when other adults were around.  He would brazenly have conversations with other adults in the pool, adults standing right in front of us talking to him, while I would be on his lap, his fingers all the way up my swimsuit. Of course, I knew it was wrong by this point, but I wanted to go swimming so badly, I thought I could put up with all the touching, until that wasn’t enough for him anymore.  Next he wanted to shower with me after the pool, saying we had to get the chlorine off. He wanted to surprise me with his nudity after the pool, with the shock of seeing his full erection.  I wasn’t shocked. I had already seen this all before.  It was old hat by then at age 9.  I just tried to look away, until he tricked me.  “Help me find my swimsuit, I lost it.”  Then I turned around and his fully naked erect penis was right in front of my face. I stopped going to the pool.  I avoided my neighbor until I moved away but whenever he would see me with my mother, he continued to leer at me when she wasn’t looking. 
When I was 11, I was walking home from school and a car with two men inside slowed down and pulled up to where I was walking, taunting me, making lewd sexual remarks.  I started running.  Their car sped up.  I panicked.  I ran all the way home, locked myself in the house, and hid in my closet.  Their car had followed me all the way home.  I was in 5th grade.  
When I was 12 and playing at my best friend’s house, my friend dared me to take all my clothes off and stand outside on her roof overlooking her garage.  Not one to shy away from a dare, I did it, but my friend locked me out and left me naked on her roof.  Two 15 year old boys on the street above hers saw me and came down to have a closer look.  I had to jump down from the roof by myself because my friend wouldn’t let me in.  That’s when one of the boys approached me with his pants down and said, “You showed me yours, now you need to touch mine.”  He forced my hand to touch his penis. 
When I was 16, I went to a house party with my friend.  A boy at the party had been interested in my friend and had been trying to date her.  When she said she wasn’t interested in him, he asked me to come into his room and talk to him because he was brokenhearted and he said I was a good listener.  He grabbed me in the middle of our conversation, took off his pants and asked me to suck his penis “just a little bit” to make him feel better. He said it’s what he NEEDED to feel better about my friend rejecting him.  I had to use physical force to get away from him.   
When I was 18, my friends all liked to go to dance clubs to meet boys/young men.  I hated going but went because they liked to go.  No one ever asked me to dance.  I sat there watching my friends dance while I listened to the music.  I was taught growing up that it was hard for young men to get up the courage to ask a girl/woman to dance and so if you were ever asked, you needed to agree to at least one dance.  The first time I was finally asked to dance, I agreed.  The man had a full erection the entire time we danced and kept rubbing it against me. I couldn’t wait for the dance to end.  When the dance was over, I tried to go back to my seat but the man grabbed my wrist and was trying to overpower me, to lead me out of the club, to go to his car, his home.  I was afraid.  I had to yell to the bouncer by the door to help me letting him know I didn’t want to leave the club with this man.  The man muttered to me, “You frigid little cunt,” before the bouncer thew him out. I was scared to walk to my car at the end of the night.  
When I was 19, I was working my first “real-job” before going back to college in the fall.  I was working as a professional student assistant for a Foster Grandparent Program where seniors would be matched with a developmentally disabled person.  A “nice” older man in his 70s worked in the cafeteria there and when I worked, he would bring me special breads and buns he made, always thanking me for the work I was doing with the seniors and developmentally disabled.  I thought the man was my friend and I thought he was always so sweet to bring me something he had baked.  On my last day of work, before going back to school, the man asked me for a goodbye hug and kiss. I went to hug him goodbye and give him a kiss on the cheek but he turned his head and forced his tongue down my throat instead.  He said now that I wasn’t going to work there anymore, would I meet him tonight at a local bar so we could “continue this” later.  I was shocked and for a long time afterwards I examined what I did to give him the impression I liked him LIKE THAT.  I thought I had somehow misled him by accepting his baked items and what I thought was ONLY his friendship.  I was 19, he was in his late 70s.  What sucked about this one was I had liked him so much as my friend because if anyone knows me, you know I have a soft-spot in my heart for the elderly. He had been one of the reasons I had liked that job.  I felt really betrayed and felt like somehow it was my fault when I hadn’t done anything wrong.  I never gave him ANY other impression other than I wanted to be his friend.  He was 55+ years my senior. I had no idea he wanted anything other than my friendship. This incident made me question myself.  Made me wrack my brain for things I might have done to give him the wrong impression - ANYTHING that might explain this outcome.  I came up with nothing.  
When I was in my 20s, a man I had consented to sleeping with one time thought that was all the consent he needed to continue sleeping with me.  The next time he saw me, he groped me repeatedly and tried to hold my hands behind my back, taking what he wanted by force.  I had to push him away and get verbally aggressive with him to get him to stop.  He called me a “cock tease.”
I cannot tell you the impact all these events have had on my life other than to tell you I’ve suffered greatly, the worst pain imaginable.  So when we talk about “me, too,” know that this is happening to women everywhere, young girls, children, even toddlers. Perpetrators are their fathers, their neighbors, their clergy members, their friends, their lovers, their boyfriends, their husbands, their co-workers, their bosses, their Hollywood producer, and even their President.  Not all men are abusers.  Not all men take advantage of the women in their lives, but there are enough that do and this must stop.  
This culture and climate of abuse of power and sexual dominance of men over women must end. If we don’t tell our stories and ensure our voices are heard, the crimes and outrageous behavior continues.  People always say to me, “You share too much on a personal level with complete strangers.”  My response is, “It’s never enough.”  Also, the stigma and shame ISN’T MINE to bear.  I did nothing wrong - THEY DID! Why are we always trying to shut people up?  Silence them?  As long as sexual abuse, sexual harassment and sexual assaults continue, we MUST tell our stories in an effort to shine a LIGHT on this problem in our society.  
Certainly, we can agree that a 2 year old isn’t asking for it.  We can agree that a 7 year old wasn’t wearing inappropriate clothing.  We can determine that a 9 year old wasn’t too inebriated, too this or too that...can’t we? Why do we do this to young women?  We need to stop blaming the victims no matter what their age!  Those who are doing these acts need to be held accountable. It’s also time to realize you know women who’ve had these experiences.  They are YOUR daughters, your mothers, your wives, your girlfriends, your co-workers, your friends, your neighbors.  It’s time to put an end to the tolerance of these terrible acts and situations.  Sexual intimidation is wrong.  Taking a woman by force is wrong.  Abusing the trust of a child is wrong.  The question we all need to ask ourselves is WHY ARE WE ALLOWING THIS TO CONTINUE?  Stand up.  Take a stand.  Support one another.  I’m here and I’m listening.  I hope you’re listening too.  
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mustdang-100 · 7 years
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Shifting Perspectives
Mob Psycho 100 Fanfiction
How many espers does it take to rescue one abducted conman?
Months after the events of the World Domination arc, Reigen disappears sometime between leaving the office and after-work plans. Serizawa finds himself the unwilling leader of a bunch of former Claw members and a couple of stubborn teenagers, determined to get Reigen back.
Read on AO3 Ch.1|Ch.2 Tumblr Ch.1 - below|Ch.2
Chapter 1 Reigen swung his legs down from where they’d been propped up on his desk and stared, flabbergasted, at Serizawa. "What do you mean, you ‘thought it was cute!?’ That spirit had three rows of teeth! And I would know, I got the best look at them!"   Serizawa came out of his reverie with a start, nearly dropping his mug, instantly apologetic.  "It, it was just so small… I was just wishing I’d come up with another way to stop it, but I didn’t have time for anything but an exorcism when it went straight for your face!” Serizawa sputtered.   Reigen continued to stare at him, now merely projecting indignation to hide his growing amusement.    “It was fluffy! And, and pink!" Serizawa flushed. "I like pink."  Reigen couldn’t hold back; he burst into laughter, putting his own mug down before he could slosh tea all over his desk. Serizawa flushed a deeper shade of red, ducking his head a little, but Reigen still saw his small, sheepish grin.    “You’ve been spending too much time with Matsuo lately, to start thinking of them as cute,” Reigen said, wiping at his eyes as his laughter finally died down. 
It was almost six p.m., approaching closing time at the Spirits & Such office, and Reigen was procrastinating on completing some insurance forms to chat with Serizawa over tea. A leisurely teatime had become something of an end-of-the-day ritual for them over the past few weeks, ever since Serizawa’s break from classes meant he was able to stay at the office until closing. Reigen found the ritual comforting – and had been chagrined to realize just how much he enjoyed having the company. If he was honest with himself, he was secretly resenting the day when night classes started back and he would lose this time to Serizawa’s other interests and school friends.  Less selfishly, though, he’d been pleased that the extra time Serizawa spent at the office meant Reigen could watch even more of his ongoing transformation from the timid and insecure man he’d started as to the quiet, confident professional he was becoming. Reigen had recently even been encouraging him to deal directly with the customers – though never without his being there, of course. Reigen considered himself quite necessary to this business, particularly when a client’s problems weren’t actually spiritual in nature. And whenever something got complicated in an actual exorcism, he was there to smooth it over. He and Serizawa had fallen into a pattern, one that resembled less that of an employer and employee and more that of a partnership: the businessman who got the jobs and the esper who completed them.   It was… nice. Reigen thought he might even be able to call Serizawa a friend – but he’d been wrong before. And he didn’t want to jinx it. You had to take jinxes seriously in his profession.  “Reigen? What are you looking at?”  Reigen focused his eyes to find that’s he’d been staring straight into Serizawa’s puzzled face for the past however many minutes. He blinked.  “Oh, sorry! I was thinking about something else.”  He realized belatedly that the other man was packing up in preparation to leave. Serizawa’s emptied mug sat on his own desk, the surface streaked with a pattern of yellow-orange lines from the light of the setting sun filtering through the blinds.   “Right, ‘bout that time, isn’t it.” Reigen drained the rest of his own lukewarm cup and stood to stretch, joints popping. He asked, casually, “You doing anything interesting tonight?”  Serizawa snapped his bag closed. “Oh, I’m getting drinks with Minegishi and Koyama and them – the usual bunch.”  Reigen felt the sinking feeling in his gut that tended to rear its ugly head every time Serizawa mentioned hanging out with his friends, either from school or, increasingly lately, some of the other former Claw members.   It was stupid. Reigen was glad Serizawa was building healthy relationships and integrating himself back into society. He really was; in fact, he was incredibly proud of the progress Serizawa had made after being so shut off for most of this life, and then horrifically misled, and even, Reigen suspected, emotionally abused. But there was still a small, terrible part of him that whispered, nastily, that Serizawa was now actually fitting into society better than he himself did, and just what did that say about the sad state of his own life?  He was being petty, and jealous, and awful. He knew it. Which, really, had to be a sign that he was improving – he’d learned his lesson about trying to manipulate people into spending time with him with his mistakes with Mob, and now recognized the inclination when it appeared. He fought it by being twice as encouraging.   “Sounds like fun! You’ve really been spending a lot of time with them lately, huh? Probably good for you all, like… a Claw recovery group or something-”   “Actually, I was, uh, going to ask you, if you’d like to join us?”  “Oh!”  Reigen paused to school his expression into one of only minor interest, even as excitement bubbled up in his chest. “Ah, well, I do have some plans for this evening, of course, but really it’s nothing important, I can probably rearrange… uhh, although-”   Reigen remembered something slightly awkward.   “Do you think it’s been enough time that they’ve gotten over the… misunderstanding about my psychic abilities..?”  Serizawa’s face broke into a grin that he quickly tried to hide with his hand.  “Yes, don’t worry it’s all fine. Once they got over their anger at being tricked, they decided that tricking them so thoroughly was a talent by itself, not to mention all the things you’ve therefore managed to accomplish without psychic powers. They chalked it all up to your extraordinary leadership abilities and by the end of it were just twice as impressed. And,” Serizawa added, blushing again for no reason that Reigen could see, “I think they’d be happy to see you again.”   Reigen stood a little straighter.   “Well, that’s, that’s good. Very good. I mean, I am rather impressive… ok then. So, yes. Drinks. Happy to join you! Just gotta, finish up some paperwork and stuff, and, yeah I’ll, I’ll meet you there.”  Serizawa beamed.  Reigen blinked, caught completely off-guard. That was a rare expression from his nervous employee, and it was… like the sun coming out. He almost – almost – told Serizawa that the smile looked good on him, or something similarly unforgivably cheesy, before shoving the reckless inclination aside. But that grin begged for a response, and he couldn’t help but give a half smile in reply.   Once Serizawa had left, Reigen scrambled to finish up the paperwork – it really did have to be sent before tomorrow, damn it all. Once it was sloppily signed, scanned, and faxed, he stepped into the bathroom.   Reigen eyed himself critically in the bathroom mirror.   Drinks. With a coworker. Or, employee – whatever. With a friend? A friend, and his friends. The suit he had on was probably okay for that, right? Or should he change? He had a spare suit stashed in his desk – but then he’d just be changing one very similar suit for another, that was stupid. He had another tie somewhere though, a darker one, more suited for a night out… No, no, then Serizawa would know that he’d bothered to overthink this enough to change what he was wearing, and-  He took a breath.  Which is exactly what you’re doing, overthinking. This is just some casual, after-work drinks, with a coworker who might be a friend, and some other acquaintances. Er, most of whom had tried to harm either himself or one of the teenagers in his care on at least one occasion, and that detail somehow managed to be at the bottom of his pile of worries-   Stop.  Deeper breath. One last look in the mirror to check his hair, which looked the same as it always did, and he turned to march out the door.    Just be… casual. Breezy. Yeah, breezy. Smooth.   He tripped on the rug on his way out the door.   ***  Serizawa tapped his fingers anxiously against his glass, glancing at his watch before taking an automatic sip of his water.  “So ya finally asked ‘im?” Koyama slapped Serizawa on the back in congratulations as he slumped into an empty seat at their usual table, tucked into the back of the dive bar. Serizawa let out a small noise, both in protest and in reaction to the rather forceful hit; Koyama tended to forget his strength in his enthusiasm, and he fancied himself a matchmaker. Serizawa felt his cheeks grow warm for what must have been the dozenth time that day.  “Just… just to join us for drinks! You know, like, like friends! Not, um, not like that. I told you, I still don’t know if he’s interested that way!”  Koyama grinned hugely anyway, raising his eyebrows suggestively, before taking a long pull from his beer bottle.  It was true – Serizawa found it incredibly difficult to tell what Reigen really felt about anyone. No, that was a lie; to anyone who spent any amount of time around him, Reigen was obvious about who he genuinely liked, and who he was just pretending to be nice to. Serizawa was just still uncertain about whether Reigen felt anything more towards him than simple friendship.   At first he’d blamed himself for this, thinking it was his own lack of social skills that clouded his ability to determine how other people felt. But the more he’d interacted with other people, the more he’d come to suspect that that was just the way Reigen was; someone who talked a lot, but usually about nothing deeper than surface-level, especially his feelings concerning other people. No, you had to watch Reigen’s actions to know for sure how he felt.   And Serizawa had been watching. He watched the way Reigen acted towards clients, and the teenagers he cared for, and he knew for a fact that it was different than how Reigen acted around him. And not to mention those moments he couldn’t quite describe, when perfect camaraderie that led to a tension in the air that seemed very… “more than just friends”-esque.   Asking him to join the group for drinks was his first active step towards confirming just how Reigen felt about him; how did Reigen react to him, compared to other friends his own age, outside of work hours…  Serizawa shook himself back to the present.   “Stop teasing him, Koyama,” Sakurai was saying from the other side of their usual table in the back of the dimly-lit bar, adjusting his glasses while peering down into his gin & tonic. “He’s nervous enough as it is. He’ll ask Reigen when he’s ready, or not.”  “I’m just sayin’!” Koyama spoke louder to be heard over the pop song that began blaring overhead, “He’s really beating around the bush here! Just ask ‘im out, he’ll say yes or no, and you can move on!”   “Not everyone is as blunt as you, you ass,” Tsuchiya chimed in, tapping her emptied bottle against Koyama’s head good-naturedly as she stood up to grab another beer from the bar.  Minegishi was the only one who did not offer his opinion, slowly stirring his mostly-full drink with a straw, eyes flicking from person to person as they contributed to the conversation. Probably because he had expressed his opinions on the matter to Serizawa before.   One of the longest friendships that Serizawa had ever experienced, and the only member of the former Super Five he’d really stayed in touch with, Minegishi was also the most critical of Serizawa’s pursuing anything more than friendship with Reigen. Only a week before, Minegishi’s snide comments had finally driven Serizawa to ask him why he felt so negative about him turning his and Reigen’s relationship into something more.  “To be completely honest, I… am concerned about the sincerity of your feelings towards Reigen.”  “W…what!? What do you mean?” “I know you believe they are genuine, but…”  A pause.  “Reigen hired you to work for his business just as you were cut loose into a world that frightened you, floundering for a new purpose. I worry that you’ve formed an attachment to him due to his helping you through a time when you were vulnerable, and you are misinterpreting your gratitude towards him as something deeper, more meaningful. That could produce an uneven balance of power in a romantic relationship, which is unhealthy, and could lead to you resenting him later.”   Minegishi knew Serizawa about as well as anyone did. But despite mellowing since leaving the clutches of Claw, he could still be incredibly pessimistic. Serizawa knew Minegishi was wrong about him and Reigen, but had stumbled over his words, unable to express just how well they worked together, how he was sure there was something more there. Eventually, they’d had to agree to disagree. But Serizawa knew that if he and Reigen started dating Minegishi would be watching them, looking out for any warning signs.   He supposed, sighing heavily, that he should be grateful to have friends who cared so much.   “So,” Tsuchiya asked as she slid back into her seat, fresh bottle in hand, “…when is he gonna get here?”  Serizawa checked his watch again. It had now been over an hour since he’d arrived.  “I’m sure he’ll be here any minute now.”  ***  Reigen was running late.  When the almost-unintelligible voice came over the train speakers yet again, announcing their second delay of the night, he cursed loudly. The woman sitting next to him with a young child in her lap turned to look at him disapprovingly, covering her child’s ears.  Oh, don't be so overdramatic. No way kids that young understand words like-    The toddler turned her pigtailed head to look over at Reigen, smiling cherubically, and opened her mouth.   “Fuck!” She gleefully bounced up and down, repeating the word.   The mother glared at him with murder in her eyes.   Reigen decided it might be best if he just walked the rest of the way to the bar. He was pretty confident that he knew the way, and at this point it’d probably be no slower than waiting for the train – not to mention the lowered risk of homicide.  ***  Reigen was lost.   He examined the map on his phone again, following the path through virtual streets with one finger. When he thought he had it memorized he tucked the phone back into his pocket and strode confidently down the street. He was determined to follow the map from memory; he didn’t want to look like one of those people who had to follow their phones every step of their route.  Despite the cooling evening air, he’d begun to sweat at his brisk pace. Of course. The sweat really wasn’t that unusual for him though; Serizawa probably wouldn't even notice. Maybe the other espers wouldn’t either…   Who all had Serizawa said would be there? He couldn’t remember. Some from the former Seventh Branch, for sure – he found he was actually somewhat eager to see them again. He’d been weirdly proud of them when they’d shown up out of nowhere to band together and fight against the organization they’d once been a part of. I mean, Claw had gone after them first, but he liked to think he’d been a good influence on their decision to rejoin non-esper society-   A car he hadn’t heard coming up behind him pulled up next to the curb.  Reigen stepped back in surprise, all thoughts of espers jolted from his mind. The driver window rolled down to reveal a dark-haired woman, smiling at him just a little sheepishly.  “Excuse me, sir? We’re looking for the closest train station to drop my husband off, any chance you could point us in the right direction?”  Reigen liked to be helpful, but halted his automatic response, taking a another hesitant step back from the car and the woman inside it.  Something seemed… off.   The sedan was a relatively new model, but not too pricy, and dark in color; the textbook definition of ‘inconspicuous.’ Except that the vibe the blandly-smiling woman gave off was just a bit wrong; her eyes were too intense for her mild expression.   Reigen’s mirror-perfect reflection in the windows heightened his nervousness. They were tinted darker than was legal, as demonstrated by the complete lack of light penetrating through the windows from the closest streetlamp. A light source which, now that he bothered to notice, was a little further away than he was really comfortable with…  He glanced up to see that they were in a gap between streetlight coverage – the bulb in the light that was helpfully right overhead was almost burnt out, emitting only a dim orangey-yellow light that traveled no further than top of the streetlight pole.  Reigen almost laughed as his heart rate sped up, responding to a rush of adrenaline.  You’ve got to be kidding me… Okay. Either you’ve been watching way too many terrible crime shows and are completely overthinking this, or these are literally the lamest bad guys ever.   He heard someone coming up behind him, and whirled to face them. Mid-turn, every muscle in his body erupted into excruciating pain.  Reigen hit the ground, spasming; the impact of skin and joints on asphalt barely registered amidst the full-body agony. He could barely think, his brain forming nothing coherent but for an endless string of please stop please stop stop stop hurts hurts HURTS.   Was he even breathing?   The pain went on, and on, and on, seconds becoming an eternity…  And then it stopped as instantly as it had begun.  Reigen slumped limply against the ground at the sudden relief. His brain started working again. Someone – or multiple someones – were looming over him. And he was fairly certain he’d just been tasered.  Well, that’s a new one for the books. They say life should be full of new experiences.   The part of his brain not occupied with witty commentary was screaming at him to shut up.   You are in a terrible position, you are surrounded and you must get up, get up get up get up.   He tensed his muscles, preparing to spring up fighting, but never got the chance.  He felt a needle prick his neck.   In seconds, everything went dark.
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lifeonaleaf · 7 years
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Week 67:Christ is the Light of the World
We had another beautiful week. We taught Jeff again. He has a few struggles but desires to change.  He smokes 5 sticks a day and mapped out a way for him to gradually get rid of his smoking. His baptism will probably happen sometime in May, but hopefully sooner! He has such a great desire to get baptized, serve a mission, and get rid of his smoking. He came to Church again on Sunday and stayed for all 3 hours. He's the best. After Church on Sunday, we had Rowena's baptism. On Saturday morning, we dropped by Rowena's to visit with her about how she felt and to fill our her baptism & confirmation record. While we talked with Rowena, she kept saying, "I don't want to depend on you. I know that missionaries come and go. I'm doing this baptism for myself. I felt that it's true. I don't want to be plastik and go back to being who I was before, drinking and hiding things. Then when missionaries come, to say, 'Quick, hide! They're here! Put that away!' I want to do this for me. I pray that the Lord will guide me and teach me. At first I only wanted this for my boys, but I don't know how it happened...I suddenly wanted it for myself too." She was teary-eyed while expressing her feelings and my heart felt so warm. Before her baptism, she came to the Church dressed in a white shirt and white skirt ♥ We didn't even tell her to. I don't know how to adequately express what that means to me, but it means so much and makes me happy. Rowena's step-uncle, Tatay Anoche, baptized her. When she came up out of the water, she threw her arms around Tatay and had the biggest smile on her face. She could not have looked more beautiful or more happy. When she bore her testimony, she really thanked us. It was humbling. She said, "You are a blessing to me. I just pray that you continue to meet families like mine and that you don't give up on them. You've changed my family and you are such a blessing to me. I never entertained any other missionaries for the past 20 years, you two were the first...I will continue to be here, even after you both leave." Rowena is wonderful. Nothing replaces the joy of true missionary work. A small thing happened a few weeks ago, but it left a large impression on my mind that made me reflect on it again and again. A few weeks ago my companion and I walked home in the dark. We had forgotten our flashlight and were relying on the occasional passing trike to give us light. Our main source of light came from the moon and stars. Though the night was beautiful, I saw all of the limitations or remaining in the darkness without stronger light. Walking home on a once-familiar path but now made unknown by shadows and darkness. While walking, my mind was taken in deep reflection and has not ceased replaying that memory in my head since then. In the darkness, the question came to my mind, if the only light we ever had was from the moon and the stars, how dark would our world be? How much would we see and understand about the world around us? We live in two worlds simultaneously: the world around us (physical) and the world within us (spiritual). Both experience light and darkness. Light is dimmed in two ways: suddenly or gradually. Most often in both of our worlds, the presence of light is as subtle as a sunrise or sunset, barely noticeable until the light has vanished entirely. As we walked home that night, I realized the weaker the light, the stronger my confusion, the more easily I could be deceived or misled, the less details I saw in the path or the trees or my own self, the lack of color of everything becoming gray, my vision was blinded, everything turned into its shadow, and my eyes began to adjust to and accept the darkness. My mind recalled the account of the Nephits before the Savior came. When the Savior died, the earth fell apart around them. It is described in chapter 8 of 3 Nephi with these adjectives: great storm great and terrible tempest terrible thunder shake the whole earth as if it was about to divide asunder sink into the depths drowned great and terrible destruction tempest, whirlwinds, thunderings, lightnings, and exceedingly great quaking of the whole earth broken up broken fragments smooth places became rough sunk, burned, shaken, fallen, slain places were left desolate damaged deformed some were carried away in the whirlwind Then everything became dark, as told in verses 19-24: "And it came to pass that when the thunderings, and the lightnings, and the storm, and the tempest, and the quakings of the earth did cease...there was darkness upon the face of the land. And it came to pass that there was thick darkness upon all the face of the land, insomuch that the inhabitants thereof who had not fallen could feel the vapor of darkness; And there could be no light, because of the darkness, neither candles, neither torches; neither could there be fire kindled with their fine and exceedingly dry wood, so that there could not be any light at all; And there was not any light seen, neither fire, nor glimmer, neither the sun, nor the moon, nor the stars, for so great were the mists of darkness which were upon the face of the land. And it came to pass that it did last for the space of three days that there was no light seen; and there was great mourning and howling and weeping among all the people continually; yea, great were the groanings of the people, because of the darkness and the great destruction which had come upon them. And in one place they were heard to cry, saying: O that we had repented before this great and terrible day" A world without Christ falls apart. Not only a physical world can experience this kind of darkness. but He does not leave us in the darkness. Suddenly the voice of Christ is heard among the destruction, "O all ye that are spared because ye were more righteous than they, will ye not now return unto me, and repent of your sins, and be converted, that I may heal you? Yea, verily I say unto you, if ye will come unto me ye shall have eternal life. Behold, mine arm of mercy is extended towards you, and whosoever will come, him will I receive; and blessed are those who come unto me. Behold, I am Jesus Christ the Son of God" (3 Nephi 9:13-15,18) In both of our worlds, the Sun is our greatest source of light. Christ is the Light of the World, the Son of God whose brightness exceeds "the brightness of the sun" (JSH 1:16). On this earth, we will pass through "a dark and dreary waste" (1 Nephi 8:7-8) and "mist of darkness" (1 Nephi 8:23-24). But we have the promise of the words of God, His gospel, to "lighten our minds with its rays" (Hymn 19) to know how to judge our course. To each man is given the Light of Christ (Moroni 7:13-19). However, this promise of light in darkness is only sure according to our commitment to cling to the Savior (1 Nephi 15:24-25). Christ is the light of all. "He is in the sun, and the light of the sun, and the power thereof by which it was made. As also He is in the moon, and is the light of the moon, and the power thereof by which it was made; As also the light of the stars, and the power thereof by which they were made; And the earth also, and the power thereof, even the earth upon which you stand. And the light which shineth, which giveth you light, is through Him who enlighteneth your eyes, which is the same light that quickeneth your understandings; Which light proceedeth forth from the presence of God to fill the immensity of space—The light which is in all things, which giveth life to all things, which is the law by which all things are governed, even the power of God who sitteth upon His throne, who is in the bosom of eternity, who is in the midst of all things" (D&C 88:7-13). But we are the ones who must answer Samuel the Lamanite's question, "How long will ye suffer yourselves to be led by foolish and blind guides? Yea, how long will ye choose darkness rather than light?" (Helaman 13:29). How do we diminish our light? Sin. It's interesting how the only difference between "sun" and "sin" is the letter I. Sin is selfish and separates us from God--the Light of the World (2 Nephi 26:23 & Helaman 6:30).   How do we access the Light? Prayer. Like the experience of Lehi and Nephi in prison and all the people are overcome with darkness. The Lamanites asked, "What shall we do, that this cloud of darkness may be removed from overshadowing us?...You must repent, and cry unto the voice, even until ye shall have faith in Christ...and when ye shall do this, the cloud of darkness shall be removed from overshadowing you. And it came to pass that they all did begin to cry unto the voice of him who had shaken the earth; yea, they did cry even until the cloud of darkness was dispersed. And it came to pass that when they cast their eyes about, and saw that the cloud of darkness was dispersed from overshadowing them, behold, they saw that they were encircled about, yea every soul, by a pillar of fire" (Helaman 5:40-43). Also we need to continue in our conversion to God. "That which is of God is light; and he that receiveth light, and continueth in God, receiveth more light; and that light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day" (D&C 50:24). President Eyring said, "We know from our own experience and from observing others that having a few great moments of spiritual power [or spiritual light] will not be enough...conversion will not be a single moment of something that will last for just one season of life but will be a continuing process. Life can become brighter until the perfect day, when we will see the Savior and find that we have become like Him." "Then shall ye know that ye have seen me, that I am, and that I am the true light that is in you, and that you are in me; otherwise ye could not abound" (D&C 88:50). When we are enlightened, then what do we do? Emulate the Savior. "Be the light of this people. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hid. Therefore let your light so shine before this people, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who is in heaven...Therefore, hold up your light that it may shine unto the world. Behold I am the light which ye shall hold up—that which ye have seen Me do" (3 Nephi 12:14,16; 3 Nephi 18:24).   Sometimes sunshine isn't enough to scatter the darkness. Christ is the only light who surpasses all darkness, a light that never goes out. "The sun shall be no more thy light by day; neither for brightness shall the moon give light unto thee: but the Lord shall be unto thee an everlasting light, and thy God thy glory. Thy sun shall no more go down; neither shall thy moon withdraw itself: for the Lord shall be thine everlasting light, and the days of thy mourning shall be ended" (Isaiah 60:19-20). There is sunshine in my soul today, more glorious and bright than glows in any earthly sky, for Jesus is my light. I love being a missionary and know that this is all true--all of the gospel is true. Christ lives and can become the Light of our world if we let Him in. Mahal na mahal ko po kayo! xo Sister Murray
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if-you-fan-a-fire · 4 years
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“Says Red Literature Entering Y.M.C.A. and Church Clubs,” The Porcupine Advance (Timmins). April 4, 1940. Section 2, page 01. --- Rev. A. Lappala, Formerly of Timmins, Exposes Communist Efforts in Toronto ---- Communists are spreading their propaganda among the Y.M.C.A. and church youth organizations in Toronto by masking their activities behind ‘progressive’ and ‘advanced’ slogans, Rev. A. Lappala, Toronto Finnish minister, told the Central Y.M.C.A. Fireside Group at Toronto at a meeting this week. Rev. Mr. Lappala was formerly minister of the Finnish United Church at Timmins, and in that capacity had just reason to hold the Red propaganda and Red activities in contempt. Members of his congregation here were interefered with by salaried Reds and their tools. Some of the congregation, in fact, had to go in fear of assault for no other reason than their adherence to the church. Efforts were also made to break up church meetings and to discourage people attending services. It was necessary here to call in the assistance of the police to secure a fair deal for Finnish people who wished to continue their church and religion. Rev. Mr. Lappala learned much here by unpleasant experience of the Red propaganda and the Moscow methods. Going from here to the Church of All Nations at Toronto, Rev. Mr. Lappala could not help but be impressed with the amount of evil work being done by the Reds and the extent of their propaganda and subversive plans. Some of this information he gave to the Fireside Group of the Y.M.C.A. in his address.
‘The youth magazine, the New Advance, is published by the Youth Congress and finds a welcome into many church homes and Y reading rooms,’ said Mr. Lappala. ‘Yet, few people know that Communists write for this magazine. The January number of this year is an example. It contains a shameful, untruthful attack upon Finland, written by a Toronto Finnish Communist, and purports to give the truth, about Finland. Needless to say, it is a mass of falsehoods.
‘The treasonable and atheistic activities of the Communists are necessarily masked behind so-called progressive and advanced slogans which appeal to youth,’ continued the speaker. ‘I have reason to believe that underground, secret activities are going on feverishly. To forestall any threatened investigation, they make a loud cry about free speech and obtain the support and protection of well-meaning and influential people who do not know the true nature of their aims. Thus, some ministers of the church are misled to give support to their seditious and atheistic propaganda.
‘They covet the favour and the blessing of the church here while their true intentions toward the church were exposed in Finland,’ declared Mr. Lappala. ‘The cunning enemies of democracy, freedom and religion are operating in our midst and we need to be on our guard constantly in order that we will be able to prevent their efforts to bring into Canada the terrible ravages of war and destruction.’
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recentanimenews · 5 years
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Why You Just Can't Hate Symphogear XV's Villains
Spoiler Warning: This feature discusses events up to and including Symphogear XV episode 9!
  Whether it's through watching a hero struggle against a fearsome foil or letting ourselves be taken in by their dubious charms, there's no denying that we all love a good villain. Some of them are among my favorite characters in fiction, and from the sweet, ditzy Kirika to the megalomaniac Adam Weishaupt, Symphogear is no stranger to the many forms they can take. The series is also great at letting us know which deserve our affections - handy when some can even become heroes of tomorrow!
  But I've been left pleasantly conflicted by Symphogear XV however: I know their actions are terrible, but why can't I stop finding Noble Red so darn charming?!
    The trio of horror-inspired girls made a shocking first impression when the vampiric Millaarc killed thousands at Tsubasa's comeback concert, but what's come to define Noble Red more for me was the excuse she gave for ripping out that poor hostage's heart: that she's weak. In a series of constantly escalating power levels, "weakness" wasn't exactly a quality I was expecting of those going against a "god killer," yet ironically, I'd argue that it has become their greatest strength.
  For people so concerned with restoring their humanity, I'd say Noble Red are already more human than most. Despite appearing in a monstrous fashion to Tsubasa, it wasn't long after that that we saw a weakened Millaarc screaming about the need to protect her family while fighting the wielders preventing her from stealing the blood they needed. The bond shared by Millaarc, Vanessa and Elza feels more genuine than typical villain team-ups, with moments like them snuggling together in the back of a car, or cuddling together for protection, making them seem like a true family. Even their subtle reactions in bigger moments exude a more lifelike charm than typical villains are allowed!
    Is it any wonder they're this close though, given the trauma they share? If telling us their past this early on was an attempt to make me sympathetic towards Noble Red, well... it worked like a charm and I just can't hate them, because they're victims too. First they were experimented on by the Bavarian Illuminati, and now it's clear that their would-be savior Fudou Kazanari doesn't care for their well-being either, and sees them as disposable pawns. Given the way the world has treated them, I'm surprised that restoring their bodies is the only thing they want to do with a god's power - I can't deny that even I'd be tempted by a little bit of divine retribution! Seeing them be mistreated by so many people makes me hope that one day they can just sit back, relax and have their happy ending... but they're the bad guys, right?
  One thing I've learned from years of loving Symphogear, is that not everyone stays a villain. In fact, two-thirds of the wielders started that way! Noble Red's situation brings back memories of Chris's, with both being victims taken under the wing of misleading, uncaring antagonists. Chris eventually fled Finé to join Hibiki and Tsubasa, becoming the cinnamon roll we adore today. Responding to the callousness shown to them by Fudou, Vanessa took the first step by trying to take the divine power for Noble Red, but what could happen to them next?
  When Hibiki stopped her Amalgam fist just short of Vanessa's face and extended her hand, Noble Red's de facto leader looked genuinely surprised, but wasn't as dismissive like Chris initially was. Might she have considered the olive branch had the wielders not been ordered to withdraw? Vanessa has a one-track mind when it comes to her goal however, even showing a willingness to put civilians in danger for it. So it would likely take something big for her to take decisive action, like grief.
    The quick scene change after Shem-ha awoke and attacked them has ensured I'll be nervously anticipating next week's episode, but I hope that wasn't the final and unceremonial curtain for Elza and Millaarc. However, if they have died while Vanessa's mechanical body allowed her to live, it may be hard to predict how she'll react to losing her family. Her growing to hate the god who tore them away from her could be what it takes to push Vanessa into joining forces with the "god killer," but Miku's involvement could prove a deal-breaker.
  Perhaps a clue to Vanessa's fate lies with another villain of seasons past: Symphogear AXZ's Saint Germain. As the de facto leader of a trio misled by a villain wanting to harness a god's power, I see a bit of the almighty alchemist in Vanessa. Having lost Cagliostro and Prelati before Adam's true ambitions were revealed, Saint Germain put aside her differences with Hibiki to stand together against the Bavarian Illuminati leader. Saint Germain grew to respect the punchy protagonist's desire to face impossible odds "even if that's true," and she ultimately sacrificed herself to save the wielders. Should she obtain the powers of Shem-ha, perhaps Vanessa could find redemption in sacrificing the dream of restoring her body (and perhaps herself), to bring back Miku?
  Even if she did survive however, redemption may prove impossible for Millaarc, no matter how much I adore her devilish charm and stylish flair. Given the scale of Millaarc's actions and the impact they've had on her, Tsubasa deserves to see justice delivered. My favorite aspect of Noble Red's story however, is how morally conflicting they are. While the extremes of their actions make sympathy near impossible, I can't help but understand them.
    Millaarc has shown that she'll do anything for her family, which is something most can relate to. She certainly takes the whole debate about stealing bread for a starving family to new, indefensible degrees though, making her one of this season's more interesting foes in my (stained-glassed) eyes! That same determination to do anything for her sisters however, may have seen her go down fighting for them.
  At the very least though, my heart will be pained if anything but a happy ending awaits Elza. Perhaps I'm biased as a lover of them, but everyone knows all dogs are good dogs. Noble Red's youngest member is like an adorable puppy, quivering with excitement at receiving praise, and even sniffing out a tracking device like a pet navigating our blankets. While Elza can bear her fangs and is loyal to her family above all else, she also has a kinder head on her shoulders, even chastising Millaarc for her treatment of Elfnein! If any member of Noble Red deserves to make it through the end, it's her. If she survives Shem-ha's attack, maybe she could find a new family and give Elfnein some company in S.O.N.G's control room?
  What do you hope happens to Noble Red, and who’s your favorite Symphogear villain? Let us know in the comments! New episodes of Symphogear XV are available weekly, as part of Crunchyroll’s Summer 2019 season!
  Josh A. Stevens is a freelance PR with anime industry experience, and a writer at Anime UK News. You can follow him on Twitter @Joshawott.
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