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solalunar-eclipse · 3 years

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SYCS - 1 Year Anniversary

Chapter title: Set In Stone

Word count: about 4000 words

Author’s Note: On July 26, 2020, I posted the first chapter of Scars You Can’t See. One year later, I’ve written five stories of varying lengths and am currently working on a sixth (wow)! My writing’s come a long way since then, and a lot of my improvement is thanks to everyone who encourages me to continue said writing, whether it’s through likes, reblogs, or comments. Thank you all so much for your support so far! :)

This is a rewrite of the very first chapter of SYCS, since the original could use a little fixing. Some important notes: I’ve edited a few parts of the story to be more in character, Chapter 2 starts in a different place after this updated version, and I’ve also fixed up chapter 13 because apparently I forgot to finish the motif I started?? Somehow??? At least I remembered eventually...

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the (revised) story!

Before, Shadow had always been able to just ignore what it meant to work for G.U.N.

He’d managed somehow to convince himself to brush aside the fact that the soldiers he worked with (had been coerced into working with) wore the same uniforms as those who killed Maria, his dear sister and first friend. To push away any idea that he couldn’t deal with serving the same organization that had once wanted him dead. (It was the only way to stay with his friends, of course he could deal.)

The same thing went for using guns during the Black Arms invasion- even though he’d had amnesia, he remembered enough that he’d needed to rely on adrenaline near constantly just to make it through those times. Despite this, he had still taken the better part of a month to recover afterwards.

His memories of that day were particularly fresh for a while.

Once the invasion had been successfully repelled, G.U.N. had hired him to work for them very rapidly, as a matter of fact. During the process, some of the people along the way strongly suggested that if the organization wasn’t able to keep an eye on him, then…well, then they’d be very displeased.

Shadow knew all too well that you did not want G.U.N. displeased with you.

The hybrid felt nothing but exhausted as these thoughts whirled through his head for the hundredth time. They’d only become a major problem recently, ever since the military organization had begun to require him to resume using guns on his missions. Every single time he touched one, the cold steel left his palms slick inside his gloves and made his head swim with flashes of memories too often repressed. Still, he had to use them- he’d be taken off missions entirely if he refused, and Shadow would never leave Rouge and Omega in the lurch like that.

However, his mental health had been growing ever worse these past few weeks as a result. He thought (hoped) he’d done a good job of hiding it from Rouge and Omega, but Shadow had been sparring with Sonic noticeably less. The hybrid had struggled with the idea of inflicting more violence on others in his spare time, and the hero had asked him about it several times, trying to figure out the reason for his sudden change in behavior.

Shadow shook his head, pushing his doubts and worries away just as he always had before. He couldn’t allow himself to become distracted by his thoughts- they might spill over into missions if he wasn’t careful. Forcing himself to focus on his schedule for the day and nothing else, he walked out of his room to take on whatever might come his way.

…

He was skating through the halls of an old, decrepit building (currently being used as a hideout by Eggman) on a mission. A robot stepped into his path.

Shadow hadn’t used his weapon yet on this assignment. He remembered the thinly veiled threat after his first refusal- we may have to remove you from missions if you cannot handle this responsibility- and felt a cold sweat break out on the back of his neck.

He shut his eyes, whipped out the firearm, and pulled the trigger. Flinching at the sound out of instinct, he refused to open his eyes until the gun was away, when he didn’t have to see it anymore. The robot lay on the ground, a smoking hole in its center. He tried to ignore the lingering sensation of the G.U.N. logo embossed on the handgrip in his palm.

Shadow felt the floor tilt for a moment under him before he regained his bearings.

He refused to look at the machine as he rushed by.

…

The exhausted hedgehog curled up in bed at night, unable to keep himself from hearing gunshots over and over and over. He fought against the memories of that day, refused to let them spill over into his thoughts.

Yet despite his best efforts, he knew he’d dream of it again tonight. He knew that he’d wake up screaming with her name in his mouth and the sight of blood still burned into his eyes. It had happened every night since he’d received the weapon.

Shadow swallowed down his fearful apprehension over what would come next. He forced himself to breathe deeply, to close his eyes, even though he wished to do the exact opposite. Dreams were not real. He could not let them hold power over him.

But still, he shivered as he tried to fall asleep.

…

He and Omega were standing in the center of a courtyard, broken badnik scrap lying all around them. This mission was supposed to be easy, just a simple in-and-out. Take out the bots, grab the intel, and go.

Rouge had asked them to cover for her as she searched for information in the abandoned computers alone. Shadow hadn’t liked the idea of leaving her alone but agreed grudgingly anyway.

He looked down at the firearm he held in his hands and tried his hardest not to cringe.

Flashes of memories threatened to surface again, of escape pods and gunshots and too much blood-

“Shadow.”

He jumped, not expecting Omega’s loud voice so suddenly.

“Yes, what is it?”

“You have been distracted for nearly ten minutes. Are you unwell?”

Shadow sighed, projecting a relaxed attitude. “Everything is fine. I was simply thinking.”

“About what?” Omega asked curiously.

“Nothing much.”

Silence descended upon the two again for a minute.

“Shadow.” the E-series robot repeated.

“What.” he snapped, sounding more irritated than he’d intended.

“Tell me what you were thinking about. You looked distressed.”

“I’m fine, alright?” Shadow insisted. “Just- forget it, Omega.”

Omega stepped closer. “Past experience has informed me that you tend to hide important thoughts from others. Therefore, I will assume that this is essential knowledge until proven otherwise.”

“It’s not important.”

The robot placed his hand on Shadow’s shoulder. The latter wouldn’t admit it, but the weight was comforting, in a way.

“This is not adequate proof. Do you not trust me, Shadow?”

He sighed. “I do trust you, Omega. You know that.”

“Then talk.” Omega’s processors whirred for a moment, before adding, “Please.”

The hybrid’s shoulders slumped- he knew his friend wouldn’t stop until he told the truth. “I was thinking, how weird is it, that I work for the same organization that ki-...caused my sister’s-” He paused on the word, fighting not to trip over his sentences. “-death and...attempted to cause mine. Among other things. And how now...I must use weapons like the ones that took her from me...to harm others.” He sighed, nearly worn out just from the effort of discussing that event’s existence.

Omega jerked away from him, startling Shadow. “G.U.N. is the organization that killed your sister?” he asked, sounding- if it were possible- shocked.

“And the one that locked me away in cryostasis for 50 years, yes.” Shadow said, feigning calm.

Omega made a staticky noise that sounded like a sharp exhale. “Shadow. Why did nobody tell me this before? And why in the name of Chaos do you still work here?”

Shadow looked away, hiding the bitterness in his expression. “Multiple reasons. One, the organization has somewhat cleaned up its act, as far as I can tell. Two, it wants to keep me under surveillance, since I am still ‘potentially dangerous’ to them...and consequences would be severe if I did not obey.”

He tapped his heel on the ground. “Also, it was one of the main avenues for us to become heroes. Unlike Sonic and his friends, we don’t have the luxury of fighting someone who wants us to know where they are. And you know we didn’t exactly have the best record with law enforcement beforehand.”

“Still.” Omega replied. “I am highly opposed to the concept of fighting in the name of such an organization. Have they at least apologized to you? Or admitted their wrongdoing?”

Shadow frowned, thinking. “No, actually, they never did.”

Why did he have to bring this up? There’s no point in talking about what’s past. Let’s just get over it and move on.

Omega looked down, his eyes dimming slightly. “Processing.”

He was still processing by the time Rouge arrived, and remained mostly silent for their exit, post-mission briefing and the entire ride home.

Once the three had gotten inside, Rouge faced the E-series robot. “Alright, what’s up with you? You’re never quiet, but you’ve barely said a word since I got back.”

“I am considering an important decision.” Omega said.

“Oh? And what might that be?” she asked, folding her arms.

“My potential resignation from the government organization known as G.U.N..”

“Wait, what?” Rouge gasped.

Shadow shouted out from the other room simultaneously. “Omega, what are you thinking?!”

“Current logic process is as follows: G.U.N. hurt one of the few decent people on this planet and my friend fifty years ago by murdering Maria Robotnik and many others aboard the ARK, as well as imprisoning him for said fifty years against his will. It has not apologized or shown remorse for those actions. Therefore, this organization clearly has no respect for Shadow, and therefore I refuse to aid them one moment longer.”

Shadow appeared at the robot’s side, placing a hand on his arm. “Thank you, Omega, but you don’t need to do that for me. I’m alright with this.”

(He was lying, of course.)

“Hold on a minute here, Omega’s got a point.” Rouge said pensively. “I started working here so I wouldn’t go to jail for stealing, but I’ve served my ‘sentence’ ages ago. Honestly, I kind of hate it there anyway? Like, nobody even respects us and it’s got way too much bureaucracy and too many outdated ideas. It’d be much better if it was just the three of us doing our own thing away from them, wouldn’t it?”

“Besides, hon, you’ve got to start standing up against those guys. I know you were going through a major existential crisis a while back when this all started, and that was the main thing you had to deal with. But now that you’ve started to figure everything out, it’s time to stop letting people treat you this way! We don’t have to give G.U.N. anything. They never helped you at all.”

“Agreed.” Omega said. “This organization does not deserve you- or any of us. They have wronged you, and though forgiveness is supposedly a ‘virtue’, it is likely so only when it is deserved.”

Shadow stared at the two of them. “That was...actually kind of philosophical for a minute. And convincing.” He huffed, frustrated, his hands curling into fists. “I just…how would I even go about dealing with my grievances with an entire military organization? I would need proof...and I don’t want to damage my standing with the government. G.U.N. can easily claim that I have gone rogue.”

He swallowed, trying to ignore the various insecurities at the corners of his mind. “I’m just...should I really be digging all of this up again? I’ve finally started to get over it…”

“Okay, so first of all, hon, you’d better not let G.U.N. walk all over you just because they can make up fake blackmail.” the bat insisted. “And second, you’re clearly not over it. Shadow...I can hear you when you wake up from your nightmares, you know. You deserve some kind of closure to help you, and if G.U.N. won’t give it to you, then you have to take it.

“Also, here’s another thing- how much worse would you feel if G.U.N. hurt someone else, and we had never said anything to warn anyone?”

Shadow stiffened, feeling ill again. The very idea was abhorrent. That another person’s Maria could be lost due to his silence...“That...that would be unimaginable….” he breathed.

“Exactly.” Rouge replied. “So, consider it.”

Shadow frowned. “I...I’ll keep it in mind. But we should at least see if they’ll do something first before we try to attack them. We might be able to convince them to make amends, after all. I mean, if we fight, we’ll be completely out of a job, and I don’t know if the funds from Club Rouge will be enough to keep us afloat- if we succeed. It’s too risky, at least for now.”

“If that’s what you want to do, then we can definitely stick with that to start.” the bat said. “I don’t know if I could’ve taken any of their apologies if it were me, but it’s not my life, it’s yours. So I’ll be right with you no matter what you decide to do, okay?”

“As will I.” Omega added, placing a hand on Shadow’s shoulder.

“Thank you, Rouge. Thanks, Omega.” the hybrid said, finally allowing relief to show on his face as he looked at his friends.

He couldn’t help but feel that with them by his side, everything would be alright.

…

They talked through most of the night about how to bring it up, what they would say, and even where they would sit to keep Shadow feeling as safe as he could. The hybrid had final veto power over anything the other two suggested, and he tried to keep the wording of the speech he’d give as controlled and polite as possible.

However, he tried not to bring up the “maybe G.U.N. still thinks I’m a weapon to be stored and used, not a person” topic during his proposal. Those insecurities could wait for another day.

They fell asleep late at night, all three in the same room- Shadow made a blanket nest on the floor, Omega plugged himself into the wall, and Rouge was on her bed.

Pleasantly enough, Shadow didn’t have any nightmares that night.

…

“You want us to do what?”

The head of the public relations department stood behind his desk, cutting a slightly dominating figure in front of the team in his room. Omega could easily detect an increased heart rate in Shadow. He was not betraying any nervousness externally, however, and the robot was impressed by his friend’s willpower.

The PR head sat down, and he gestured for Team Dark to do the same. However, since there were only two chairs in the room (as they had known), Omega remained standing. Among other things, it would allow him to more easily defend his friends should the talk go awry.

“I’m afraid we just can’t do that kind of thing...Shadow.” He said the last word like it was distasteful, like it didn’t belong in his mouth. (Or, perhaps, like he wanted to add a “Project” or “Experiment” to the front of it, but didn’t for fear of a missile to the face delivered by Omega.)

“Why not?” The hybrid asked. “Sir,” he forced himself to add politely. “Don’t you agree that it was wrong? That G.U.N.’s soldiers shouldn’t have done...what they did?”

“I am incredibly saddened that Miss Robotnik’s death occurred in the search for you, and that the head of G.U.N. at the time considered you unworthy of any basic living rights.” the PR leader said, sounding more than anything like he was reading a script off a teleprompter. “However, I am not going to make a public statement digging up something that happened fifty years ago.”

Rouge leaned forward in her chair furiously. “So you’re just going to pretend it never happened? What about the trauma Shadow experienced? What about the fact that this kind of thing could happen again?”

The leader looked at her coldly. “I can assure you that this is an isolated incident, and that such an occurrence has not happened before or since.”

“But you can't just-! Can’t we speak with the commander?” Rouge gasped, outraged.

“I can, and I will. And you know very well that the commander is taking a well-deserved vacation, and we are not to disturb him for any reason except an emergency. Now then. Did you have anything else you needed?” he said smugly.

Omega was so, so close to just arming the missile launcher anyway.

Shadow looked up at him carefully, clearly going over the words in his head. “Sir. May I respectfully ask why G.U.N. considered it necessary to arm me? I can apply lethal force if necessary in other manners.”

The PR head frowned. “Close quarters are not necessarily a safe space for you, Shadow. We need you alive, and if that means you’re farther back, then so be it.”

“But- me? Destroying with impunity? In such a cold, distant manner? That’s not what G.U.N. wants to see from me, I thought. And with my experiences, I really don’t think-”

The human folded his arms. “Don’t worry about thinking, just worry about completing your missions on time. And what’s past is past, right? Now then, I expect no more complaints from you three. This meeting is concluded.”

Shadow stood up stiffly. “Yes, sir.”

Rouge froze. “Wait, Shadow, you’re not just going to-”

“We’re leaving, Rouge. Now.” Shadow said firmly, but the two other members of Team Dark could hear the unsteadiness in his voice. Omega remained silent, but internally was playing a very nice simulation in which he repeatedly punched the head of the PR department.

Once they had exited the office and walked through the facility for a while, Shadow leaned heavily against a wall. “He’s not sorry at all.” he muttered. The robot didn’t need his sensors to tell that he was experiencing far too many negative feelings at once. It wasn’t healthy for organics to deal with all that all the time…

“Agreed.” Omega said. “I would not be surprised in the least if he was lying throughout all of it.”

Rouge sighed, before pulling an unresisting Shadow into a hug. “Honey, I’m...” She paused for a second. “I’m sorry you had to deal with that. You shouldn’t have to cope with people like that, ever.”

Shadow closed his eyes quietly and stood like that for a long time. Eventually, though, he spoke up. “.....I know what we have to do. I...I know we need to fight, like you said last night. I don’t feel ready, but just…it has to happen.”

Omega looked down at them both. “You two go out to the car. I will go and get your sister’s files myself while you take a few minutes, Shadow. I am bulletproof and the most likely to make it out unscathed, and if I need help I can call.”

Rouge rolled her shoulders briefly, her wings flexing. “Alright. I’ll be ready to get out of here the second you get in. Sound good?”

“Alright.” Omega agreed. “Let’s go.”

The robot marched down the halls, on a mission. He stopped first to gather everything from their office- or at least all of their personal items. They might need them later, after all. He placed them into his empty chest compartment (he hadn’t refilled on weaponry in a while) and moved on.

The lower levels of the G.U.N. facility were darker and less well-maintained. This was most likely on purpose, to keep people from wanting to go down there. Omega, however, did not fear the dark. He had a flashlight, and a hulking five-foot robot was usually enough to scare most creatures.

Thankfully, the guards stationed throughout these levels knew him, and simply stepped aside to let Omega pass. Quite a few of them were honestly nervous down there themselves, and barely even noticed him.

He noticed a small door marked ‘Records Room- Classified’ and knew he was in the right place. The door did not give him access, but that was alright. Rouge had hacked the system a while back and given herself the highest clearance possible...and now Omega had her spare card.

Once he was inside, he scanned the cabinets methodically until he found the file marked ‘Maria Robotnik’. Inside were papers detailing her death and her life. Everything one could have wanted to know about her was inside.

The red stamp on the front reading ‘Terminated’ was pretty ominous, and Omega briefly wondered if he would be able to remove it. He considered the possibility that Shadow would not be quite so pained upon seeing it if the stamp were gone.

It was unlikely, and so he moved on.

Omega exited the room, hoping that the guards in the security monitor room were slacking off. They often were, so he calculated at least a 70% chance of exiting the facility without incident. He placed the file inside his compartment and continued on.

Being a robot meant that he could not act nervous. Therefore, nobody questioned him as he walked through the halls and outside, where he saw Rouge talking to Shadow inside their black-and-red car.

The hybrid appeared to be rather panicked about the whole plan, so as Omega slid into the backseat, he placed his hand on his friend’s head for a brief moment. “Everything is going to be alright, Shadow. I promise you that.”

Shadow sighed and slumped back against the seat. “Let’s get out of here before someone notices what we did.”

Rouge pulled out of the parking lot with a screech of the tires and didn’t let the speedometer dip below fifty until they got home.

“Right.” she said, once they were all inside. “We’ll probably have G.U.N. beating down our door by tomorrow morning, so let’s make sure they don’t catch us still here by then. Omega, refill your weapons and pack us some clothes and stuff. Shadow, you just try and chill. I’m going to look over this file.”

As Rouge flipped through the pages, Shadow decided that he needed to see these for himself and walked over to stand behind her. Before long, though, he recoiled in shock upon seeing that when G.U.N. discussed Maria’s death, they justified it. Made it seem like Shadow was the villain. A monster. A weapon.

“Shadow?” the bat asked.

“...yes?”

“You know we can’t use this by itself, right? We need more proof. Like, video proof.” she said, sounding resigned.

“I know.” he said quietly, disappointed that so little had changed despite the fact that half a century and some new management had taken place.

Omega cursed out G.U.N. from the other room in response and came over to them, his eyes in their ‘angry’ shape. “We need to stop them now. This revolting organization does not deserve to spend another minute active anywhere on the planet.”

“Let’s get them, then.” Rouge hissed, clearly furious as well.

Shadow felt terribly apprehensive, but despite that, he agreed as well. “Then they won’t be able to hurt anyone else in the future.” he said, sounding more determined than he had in a while.

“You ready, guys?” the bat asked, holding out her hand in the midst of their little group.

Omega allowed his giant metal hand to hover over hers. “Always.”

Rouge looked at the hybrid. “You sure you’re up for this, hon?”

“Not entirely…” Shadow admitted, but took a deep breath and held out his hand too, allowing Rouge to guide his hand to Omega’s, just like she had so long ago. “...but I need to do it, and so I will.”

“Then we’ll expose them, Shadow.” she said confidently. “And we’ve totally got this, because we’re doing it together.”

And as they all clasped hands for a moment, before breaking off to head to the garage, Shadow felt like they really had a chance to succeed.

#scars you can't see #sol's fanfiction #shadow the hedgehog #rouge the bat #e 123 omega #i've actually had this saved for a while! i thought the anniversary would be a good time to post it :)#i went back and reread chapter 1 and was like '.......i could write this so much better now'#so here we are!#i especially didn't like how omega forced shadow's hand- i much prefer this one where it's a team agreement #shadow's still a little hesitant because of how it turned out the last time he went up against g.u.n.#but he knows he needs to do this for himself (and for others too)#i did still try and keep the general plot structure the same though- just improved it (hopefully)#either way i'm looking forward to another year of writing! it's been really cool so far :D #thanks as always for reading

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aspectedstar · 3 years

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[Info updated as of Patch 5.55]

Name: Listelle Viyrel

Unsundered Name: Ephine

Gender: Female

Age: 21 in ARR, 26 in EW

Race: Raen Au Ra

Relationship: Official with an untempered Elidibus, but still lowkey that not a lot of people know of their status.

Family: Biological family is unknown. Her adoptive Miqo'te parents she keeps in contact with. The Scions of the Seventh Dawn and Elidibus are her main sources of 'support' these days.

Orientation: Bisexual / Demisexual

Nameday: 16th Sun of the 4th Umbral Moon [August 16th]

Abilities/Talents: Archery, Botany, Cooking, Able to speak multiple languages [thanks Echo], Healing, Reading.

Job: Former conjurer turned White Mage; Archer/Bard; Adventurer; A Scion of the Seventh Dawn; Botanist whenever help is needed.

Appearance description: A pale-skinned Raen Au Ra that stands at 4 fulms and 9 ilms. Listelle has dark blue, shoulder-length hair with bangs that naturally curls at the ends. Black highlights are added into the mix and always reapplied whenever they start to fade. Sometimes, puts up her hair in high side-ponytail that has a braid embedded around the back of her head. Has side bangs that hang from her face with this hairstyle as well. She has heterochromia eyes with her left being a pale blue, while her right is a bright purple. Listelle is slightly muscular, but also petite. Her body has vanilla scales peppering her body here and there. Mostly can be seen on her face; Her horns a slightly curled, but go backwards only a bit from her face. The tail she has a few spikes here and there, but it's thin. Mostly spiking at the end of it. Usually wearing a pair of reading glasses, because her eyesight isn't 100%.

Unique features (scars, tattoos, etc.): Multiple scars across her body from battles over the years. The biggest one was from the first meeting with Zenos, where he ended up nailing her in the abdomen badly. The scar is a jagged line in sideways line that covers a good portion of her middle to lower back. Listelle is very self-conscious about this particular one; Doesn't like wearing gear that shows off that part of her body.

Personal Beliefs (religious or otherwise): Fully believed in the Mothercrystal and the Twelve, but has changed since the events of SB into ShB. Mostly because of what Elidibus and Emet-Selch had told her. Still believes in a sense of one's wrongdoing will bite them in the ass later in life.

Residence: Medium house plot on the beach in Shirogane, Hingashi. Amaurot on the First.

Birthplace: Somewhere in the Black Shroud.

Dreams: When the world is done being saved, which is almost never; Wanting to have a peaceful life with Elidibus as much as possible; Hoping that one day more White Mages can be sanctioned by the Padaji; Maybe one day have children, but that's not as important.

Fears: Dying when the world needs her the most; Seeing close friends and family die in front of her again and again; Injured to the point she can't fulfill her duties as Warrior of Light; Losing any of her senses.

Introverted / Extroverted / Ambiverted (bold what applies)

How do they handle stress?: When in front of people, she tries her best not to show she's bothered. There are ways for others to know she's about to hit her limit. Listelle is known to pace around a room, fidget with her hands, and get teary-eyed, but the latter is hard to see. Only ways she can combat it is behind closed doors, or out in the wilderness when no one is around. Going out into nature to find plants or hit trees with her axe is one way. Another way is to basically beat her frustrations out in cooking or baking foodstuffs. Resting under trees when only one can hear naturalistic sounds.

What’s the state of their living quarters? (messy, clean, etc.): That depends. Usually, it's a disorganized mess. Much to Elidibus's dismay, she can usually find things easier than him. If he ever tried to clean her home, she'd yell at him on not being able to find anything. It's not completely trashed, but enough to know someone lives here. As the Warrior of Light, she doesn't get enough time to do homely chores. So, it's mostly left go for weeks at a time.

How do they handle meeting new people?: Listelle usually is kind and friendly to people she meets. Though, it depends overall on the new person (or group)'s attitude, body language, voice tone, and facial expressions. If they come off rude and negative, she is more reluctant to be as nice back. However, since she is not the diplomatic person, she usually leaves all the table-talking to her fellow Scions. Will chime in with a few words, if asked. It all depends on the situation and people involved.

When facing certain doom, what’s their outlook?: It's...questionable. Try to keep a stoic facade, but inside she would be screaming. Or, she'd probably look at like this: Why not going out with a huge bang of glory, and take her foe(s) with her? As a healer, she understands death, but is afraid to die at the wrong time. Regardless, she will tackle it the best she can.

What do they do to relax?: Reading any books she has in her shelves. Have Elidibus tell her stories of the world before it was Sundered. Cooking and baking when she has the time. Gardening, when she has time, yet again. Sitting under trees listening to nature. Go to the beach when no one is around. Stargazing with Elidibus at night.

What’s their favorite outfit?: Her 'civilian' clothes with the Azem constellation crystal as a necklace pictured blow.

Traumas: It's been several over the last few years of becoming the Warrior of Light. From being a healer, she has had a hard time accepting she can't save everyone. The loss of Haurchefant hit her physically hard. He saw Listelle as herself, not just the 'hero' or a weapon to be used by the city-states. Still goes to visit his grave in Coerthas when she can. Seeing the turmoil Garlemald had done to Ala Mhigo and Doma's regions. Zenos yae Galvus, because he reminds her of herself at certain times. How they can relate, as much as the Raen wishes not to admit it. The entire events of Shadowbringers with fighting for another world to holding in the light corruption. Her aether is still a mess, even after Ardbert had joined his soul with hers. Ending Emet-Selch's life, even when she understood his plight and ideals. Having to fight and kill Elidibus; The ONE PERSON that understood and had true affection for her. Yet, he was tempered by Zodiark, so they were forced into battle. It still haunts her to this day that she may lose Elidibus forever.

About them as of current story patch: As of Patch 5.5, Listelle is struggling on what to make of seeing that being surrounded in light. Being told the Final Days is coming--which is no doubt with Fandaniel and Zenos--and the entire world is on her shoulders. This is stressing her out to no end, even with Elidibus trying to keep her calm. He is her main anchor to keep her grounded currently. With the possibility of going to Sharlayan, she is not happy. Possibly having to keep the untempered Ascian unseen, depending. For now, she is stressed and pacing about what to do.

History: Listelle was found outside the doors of a Miqo'te couple living in the Black Shroud. Only a single note saying: "I cannot care for her; I'm possibly dead by the time you read this. Her name is Listelle; Please raise her well". The baby was an Au Ra Raen female, but they had no idea if there was such a family nearby. Living mostly in an isolated area, they didn't get many visitors. Just some adventurers, botanists, conjurers, or miners that came through the area. Despite this, they willingly took the baby in. They had issues trying to concieve their own child, so Listelle would fill the void. The void of trying to have a child, which they had now.

The Raen would come to know her parents as Sizha Vebei, her mother, and Rehzih'li Vebei, her father. They lived in a small cabin in the Southern part of the Shroud. Away from settlements like Camp Tranquil and Quarrymill, they kept to themselves for the most part. They raised their adoptive child as good as any adoptive parents could. With the times that Rehzih'li would go to Gridania for work and supplies, he would ask around about Listelle's family. He usually came up empty handed as per usual. This went on for years, until the Seventh Umbral Calamity hit Eorzea.

Listelle was 16 summers old when Bahamut broke free of Dalamud to reign terror from the heavens. The Black Shroud went up in flames in several areas. Thankfully, herself and her parents survived, but lost their home to the flames. The family was devastated, but then they decided to move on to a battered up Gridania as other refugees. They would have to make a new life within the city-state.

To the five years leading up to ARR, Listelle practiced conjury within the Stillglade Fane. Her parents had taken up other odd jobs to support themselves and their daughter, so Listelle had decided to do the same. With people becoming adventurers, the Raen decided to do the same. With her aetherpool higher than most, she fit right in with the Conjurers' Guild. Even with weird looks, the Au Ra flourished under their guidance and care. She would learn how to properly harness healing magics, as well as learn to borrow from the very Elementals of the Twelveswood.

Eventually, Listelle would become more involved with restoration efforts to help Gridania. Only her efforts would soon become widespread. Widespread enough for a certain organization to recruit her to their cause..

Feelings towards others: (add or remove as relevant)

- Elidibus – Her official partner, who she had a rocky relationship for years. However, it changed much after his defeat by her hand on top of the Crystal Tower in the First. She loves the Ascian dearly and would do anything for him. He had been there as well for her during some stressful times, despite him being under Zodiark's influence. They confide in each other constantly, and is a major support pillar for Listelle.

- Emet-Selch [Hades] – Despite their brief interactions, Listelle came to understand more about the Ascians. Even if it was a hard pill to swallow, the brief details Elidibus mentioned to her started to make sense. Like pieces to the puzzle was finally coming together. She would indulge and ask him a lot of the Ascians' history, the Old World, and the like. As much as her comrades didn't like their Warrior of Light conversating with their worst enemy, she ignored them...sometimes. She was upset to end his life when they couldn't come to some sort of understanding. She still has sobbing fits over Hades' demises, because of the fact of the Azem constellation crystal she has. It was even hinted that he knew of something going on between her and the Emissary at the time. Listelle always denied it, but there was a twinkle in those golden eyes that he knew of something.

- Feo Ul - As much as Listelle appreciates them, she can't deal with their sudden mood swings. The Fae being the Fae, she can't understand the times she gets yelled at for not summoning them. Being called cruel and heartless by Feo Ul made her uneasy around the pixie. Just over the course of the Shadowbringers, she saw the good in the King of Faeries. They became the next Titania, yet, they still treated Listelle as their most precious mortal. After all, they WERE connected by a pact! Feo Ul was another pillar during her struggle to contain the light corruption within her. The constant affection and support helped keep the heroine to move forward.

- Alphinaud – Meeting him the first time made her want to rethink her choices. However, with his constant presence helping her with 'official talks', she has been grateful for him. He has come a long way and has grown. Listelle hates meetings, and groans anytime Alphinaud tells her she has to go. Because she is the hero, she has to go, despite her wild protests.

- Alisaie – It took a bit for them to grow on one another. Alisaie understands when Listelle has her moments. Moments she wants to hide, but also treats the Raen like an actual person. Not just the hero, not just the Warrior of Light. Listelle finds herself getting teased when Alisaie fawns over her, depending if she's down or upset about something. Mostly by Y'shtola though.

- Y'shtola – Their relationship is...weird at best. Y'shtola and herself have their moments when they get into arguments. However, she knows the Miqo'te woman wants the best for her. During the events of Shadowbringers, she was worried over Listelle's state of taking in the Lightwardens' corrupted aether. Y'shtola and Ryne were there for her as they journeyed to Emet-Selch's domain. Full of Light, the heroine had a hard time doing basic tasks at times. Due to this, Listelle appreciates her. Just doesn't like when she teases her about Alisaie and G'raha's constant admiration of her.

- Thancred – Saw him as a flirtatious man who she didn't want to deal with at all. He even made comments about her 'beauty' on several occasions to get under her skin. However, as the years went by, she began to learn he was a lot more. Mostly learned this during her time on the First with the others and Ryne. Just the interactions between him and Ryne made her heart ache for them both. Including when they had to go back to the Source.

- Urianger – This Elezen made her want to rip her hair out most of the time. Just the way he spoke, his mannerisms made her so confused. Had to get the other Scions to repeat what he said to her many, many times. Still not fond of his secrecy behind her back on the few times. However, she does understand it's a necessary evil, yet she hasn't completely forgiven him yet. Though, she does appreciate any vital information he can provide her.

- Tataru - Oh sweet Tataru...Listelle loves the receptionist to death. Another person who treats her like she's a normal person. However, how she manages to get things done makes Listelle double think herself. Like the time the Lalafell wanted her precise measurements to get her outfits made. Just the way Tataru brings up results is quite...scary. The heroine watches herself whenever she's around the Lalafell woman.

- Minfilia - The first person to understand she had the power of the Echo. All those years of not understanding random visions she had when she was a child. She learned more from Minfilia over the course of the years. Only to be upset when she disappeared, then find out she was connected to Hydaelyn. She looked up the Hyur and she still misses her from time to time.

- Papalymo - The duo of 'Yda' and Papalymo made her giggle at times. There were times she didn't quite understand the relationship between the two. She got along with the Lalafell fine. That is, until he sacrificed himself to contain the newly born primal at Baelsar's Wall. She wanted to stay behind and help him, but alas, was forced to flee with the others. She still thinks about him from time to time, hoping he's watching over them from afar.

- Lyse - Wasn't sure how to feel about her until after the whole incident at Baelsar's Wall. She had come to understand Lyse as someone who wanted to fight for her homeland. As they journeyed over Gyr Abania and Othard, she had come to see the woman in a new light. With how she handles matters in Ala Mhigo with Raubhan at her side, she hopes the city-state flourishes under their care.

- Gaius – Rivalry since taking on the Ultima Weapon. However, with tackling the Weapon Project, she put aside her dislike for him. In order to stop these machines of death, she would work alongside him. Listelle began to see him in a new light as the Weapons consumed most of the orphans he saved back then. With only Allie left and the Weapons done with, she hopes Gaius can find some sort of peace.

- Nero – Despite him working at the Garlond Ironworks now, she still finds him quite annoying. Though, she has to admit he has helped her on several occasions when Cid couldn't. So, she'd tolerate the man at best.

- Cid – Thankfully to the Garlean many times over. With his few interventions to save her from certain doom, to helping her take down Omega. The accomplishments and shit they've seen and done is enough for a novel or two....or several. She gets along with him fairly well.

- Haurchefant – The Elezen man from House Fortemps and Camp Dragonhead. It was no wonder the silver-haired male admired her from the start. Even wanting to rush in to stop her from taking on Shiva. Never do anything reckless again! He had said to her, which she had meekly agreed to. When fleeing from the bloody Ul'dah banquet, he was a pillar of strength during that time. With most of the Scions gone, she blamed herself for their loss. Alas, Haurchefant wouldn't have none of it. Always cheering her up with hot chocolate and word of encouragement. However, when he died in her arms saving her from a pillar of light...Listelle was devastated. She was depressed for a long time, and still is when she thinks about it. Still blames herself for his death, even if he wanted her to smile. "A smile better suits a hero"; A statement she won't forget easily.

- Aymeric – The first meeting with him..she wasn't impressed. She had heard Ishgardians were uptight and unwelcoming. As much as he sounded polite, she didn't trust him off the bat. However, as time went on, she began to realize he was much more than. Even inviting her to a dinner after Nidhogg's defeat, which she enjoyed. Just his question about what she wanted for herself? She knew not the answer to that at the time. Regardless, the Raen goes to visit him when she can.

- Estinien – This dragoon is so stiff was Listelle's first thought. She didn't exactly like him off the bat. However, the journey across Dravania opened him up to her. She did try her best to understand him, but it was hard. As the years went by, she had come to know he had paid respects to Yysale, which she appreciates. Even the time when she collapsed in the Ghimlyt Dark, trying to persuade Zenos/Elidibus to stop this madness. Estinien had rescued her, which opened her up to that he was more good than she thought. Now with him joining the Scions, more opportunities to know him better have opened.

- G’raha – Annoying scholar to deal with when looking for the damn aethersand. Made it a game, then she promptly yelled at him for making her run around more than she had to. Investigating the Crystal Tower together, she did appreciate his work. When he locked himself away in the tower, she was a bit sad to see him go. Listelle did understand why he had to do it though. During the events of Shadowbringers, she had her suspicions on who the Crystal Exarch was. She couldn't completely confirm who it was, until she was being consumed by Light Corruption. Despite all this, she scolded him greatly after winning the fight against Emet-Selch. She knew he had a deep admiration for her, but only saw him as a friend. Regardless, their friendship is still healthy and blossoming.

- Other Warrior of Lights - Appreciates their hard work and resilience to keep the fight going. No matter what, as long as there is a light, they can still prevail.

[Character sheet made by @lizzy-dotharl. Template taken from @earthlystar.]

#ffxiv #ffxiv oc #original character #character sheet #listelle viyrel #oc: the blood lily

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marshmallowprotection · 4 years

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Do you still like V after the events of Saeran's after end? Do you think he's horribly OOC in there or do think he's in character?

I hear so many V stans say he's out of character but I dont think so. It you consider what he's done in the Christmas DLC, in Another Story, and in the main routes of Deep/Casual story he's always been obsessed with Rika and always keeps making bad decisions (or keeps procrastinating making a decision) because he's unwiling to priortitize the RFA over Rika. Ray's after end is just a timeline where he decides to stop hesitating and fully commit to his obsession with Rika. Its him making the worst decisions possible.

If anything, its V's own route that feels OOC because I feel like there's too little chance he would stop obsessing over Rika and fall in love with someone else. But those are just my own thoughts and opinions. I'm curious to hear yours.

Personally, I said this when I was going through my initial reaction to Saeran’s AE so you could read that series if you haven’t already because I put it down in a lot more blatant detail. I’ll leave this free from this tag, though, don’t want to add dislike over there when I know a lot of people are hurt and upset. So, let me just say, SPOILERS AHEAD.

I have to say that I don’t think he was out of character. I sincerely don’t. I think was the game showing us truly how far V is willing to go for Rika and how far he had already gone for Rika. Listen, V’s not my favorite person in the world but I’d say that he went through a lot in his life and he has such a specific personality type that we can’t disregard. Both he and Rika were wrong in their relationship with each other. They both did wrong things.

V is a victim of Rika’s abuse, that is for sure, but V did say and push Rika to lean more into her more violent thoughts. It had a lot to do with his warped sensibility and what he was dealing with on his own, from his mother, to how his personal understanding of love was twisted and fractured. He said it himself in his route that he was obsessed with Rika and that he would do anything for Rika because that love was an infatuation stronger than any drug.

The Secret Ending, for example. He was willing to come and get everyone from the cabin. I don’t know what he thought was going to happen when he did that or if anyone would trust him. He’s got such a martyr complex that it pains me and I wish he valued himself more and admitted that he needed to stop this and just talk about what help he needed. I understand that it’s fucked up, and all of this is complicated because the boys cannot be found by the government.

But, he could have told Jumin.

He could have done a lot of things but he hesitated and got scared and tried to blame himself and do it on his own. He doesn’t want Rika to die. He doesn’t want Rika to go to prison. He doesn’t want Rika to suffer. Yet, he’s seeing how she’s hurting others and hurting herself and spiraling, and... sometimes it’s hard for me to understand why he lied. He doesn’t know about Mika, the AE said that as a fact, and I don’t know when he found out about Mint Eye.

But, he lies to cover Rika’s tracks? Is it for Saeran, V? Or, is it for Rika? I’m really concerned that I don’t know the answer here. I know that he tries to help save Saeran and get him out, he really does, but he always hesitates and he always reaches and fails, and I don’t know if that’s because he’s doing it to himself by self-sabotaging or because he legitimately doesn’t know how to get him out.

V’s greatest struggle in life is how indecisive and unsure he is. He frustrates me a lot. I see where he could find himself and where he could open up and be a good person and be happy. I see it. But, he won’t let himself let go and Rika and he keeps burning as Icarus does as he reaches out for the sun.

In this timeline, we see how deeply V can go if he lets himself commit to that state with Rika. In Ray’s Route, Jihyun saw us commit ourselves to Saeran and believe in him, and forgive him, and forgive Ray for what happened. However, it was our choice to forgive them... and you know the difference between what went down with Saeran and what goes down with Rika? Saeran was willing to say that he fucked up and that he needed to stop, that he needed to grow, and that he needed to change.

He apologized and he said that if you gave him a chance, he would love you and protect you. You accept that, but he’s still going to be working on that for a long time in his heart because he knows what he did. His willingness and capacity to grow and admit fault make him mature and respectable. Rika is never willing to admit her wrongdoings.

You saw that play out in Saeran’s AE from minute one and you can’t ignore that fact. When Jihyun went back to Rika. And, you know what I personally thought was going to happen? I thought he was going to take Rika, leave the country, and fucking run and never look back. I thought that he was going to take all of her sufferings and place it upon himself so nobody would ever be hurt again sans himself because he “thinks he deserves to be punished by her hand for what he did.”

However, no.

V did not do that.

V decided that he would fully immerse himself in Rika. He decided that the best thing to do was to take the wrong lesson from what he saw with Saeran and the MC. He stood by Rika thinking that if he pushed or tried hard enough to let her be himself instead of forcing her to be something else, maybe she would have a breakthrough like Saeran did. However, he couldn’t do that and let her go to jail, could he? Nope. So he had to make a deal with the devil. For Rika’s freedom and happiness, he had to hurt everyone.

He himself says in one of the floating space thoughts that he needed to research how to commit himself to that. V admits that he knows that he’s wrong to go this far with Rika, both of them admit that they know they’re wrong and that they knew it was wrong from the start.

We can see him on Day 3 with moments where he is... showing this guilt again and showing us that side of him that we saw before he cracked and committed to his fate with Rika. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like they’re dating or anything here, he’s merely giving Rika what she wants because he thinks it will help her and right what went wrong. It doesn’t. They’re both living in her fantasy for her sake. Rika’s selfish wish is a family where they pretend nobody was hurt and if she gets that... well, that’s one of the BEs.

V has been enabling a lot of her darker thoughts from the start, and for a while, he realized that he had to do something and he tried to do something by trying to go and remove Saeran from that place, but in the end, he felt like there was nothing left for him to do but commit to Rika and suffer in that selfish wish. V is willing to do anything for Rika, even hurt others when it comes down to it. He hurt the RFA and he betrayed them for RIka.

This is the worst-case scenario for the kind of person that V can become, and I don’t think it was out of character, I think it was just an aggressive reminder of how far you can fall if you let yourself give up and decide to burn all of the bridges that you have for someone that isn’t good for you. I think what I never expected was the fact that V was there when Mother Choi was killed. I never thought he was there.

I thought he either suspected it or learned well beyond the fact. But, no, he was there, he helped her move the body. He lied and covered her tracks and that was the moment that Rika herself said that she gave up on everything and fully committed to what she and Mika were planning on doing.

So, from when V started to enable her in the wrong ways by telling her revel in a devil, to the murder (even though it was a self-defense case, it was still traumatic to blackout and cut someone to save your own life), to Mika and the plans for the cult. It was a recipe for disaster. I never thought that V was there when it happened. That just...

That revelation to me, his willingness to drug Saeyoung, his willingness to let the brothers suffer for Rika’s happiness... this is revealing how far V could go for the person that we all know as Rika. The situation doesn’t always call for V to go and do something to this degree, but there’s no denying that V is a complicated character with a lot of weight on his shoulders.

He was never my favorite but... I can’t disregard what has been written and that I don’t feel like it was OOC. I just think it was showing us a reality where he could go too far. I realize that not many people are going to agree with me on this front and that’s okay. I don’t hate V. V fucked up a lot and there’s no denying that, I just wish that he never went back to Rika and he came to us for help in the first place.

I guess this is a bit more lengthy than I intended, haha. This isn’t to be mean to anyone that thinks differently than me. I really don’t want to get into arguments or anything over this. So, please, no discourse over this.

TLDR; This is just a reality where V went over the edge, and it’s just a possible timeline where he could lose himself to what he long tried to push back against but he ultimately gave up on himself and let himself be fully committed to Rika’s selfish wish. You can see the guilt and exhaustion in his eyes but he just lets himself become the villain because it’s the only way to protect Rika from suffering and the only way to “kind of” protect the boys.

#long post #discourse #ask #anon #mod kait #leaving this out of the fandom tag too

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hadtochangemyurlquick · 3 years

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do you find it cathartic to write about your past negative experiences in fanfic?

there's a quote i like: "whenever people give advice they're usually talking to their younger selves"

and here's the thing anon: i am my only audience.

every word i write is for me, it's for younger versions of me, it's for people like me, it's for me and me alone right now. when i wrote the apple butter au it was a reminder that things would get better, that there would be joy. that family and love was more important than absolutely everything.

when people talk they're talking to you, yeah, but they're also talking to themselves.

you ever listen to joni mitchell? whenever i'm in dire straits i listen to her album blue and it doesn't make me happy, fuck no can you imagine?, but it puts me back at healthy medium.

microdosing on therapy by listening to brandi carlisle albums

so cathartic means: elimination of a complex by bringing it to consciousness and affording it expression. an example of this might be someone creating a character who represents their abuser and killing that character off violently, or getting that character to apologize and admit wrongdoing.

i don't know if i've ever done that. i think writing doesn't bring me catharsis but understanding.

it's easy to understand things when they're laid out for you, you know?

when i was writing that 80 page time travel au i talked about in a previous ask i had no idea i was depressed. i'd get home at 4pm, write until 3am, wake up at 7am, be a zombie thru school where i'd write in the margins of notebooks, and go home at 4pm to repeat the process. i didn't shower, eat, sleep, and barely took a break to pee for about two weeks straight.

it was, by no means, healthy and even if i am a better writer bc of it it was completely self-harm. there are worse ways to hurt yourself (things i thought about but never did) but i was definitely intentionally hurting myself.

it was later, reading it back, that i realized how much my depression manifested in the work. it brought me understanding and empathy for a version of myself i had previously despised.

when i write about stuff now, whether it's relationships between sisters, grief, issues with food, struggling with intimacy, i think i'm doing it to kinda understand where i'm coming from.

most of the time. sometimes i'm just dodging the question.

you ever have the mood where it's like let me clean my room instead of starting the essay that's due ten minutes ago? that's kinda the thing where it's like: let me write a cute au about two girls falling in love over apple butter instead of dealing with the intense insurmountable grief currently knocking at the door.

but also like sometimes i just need to see it written. for me. like when i touched on rachel's food issues as just--a part of her character not a big deal no worries--it validated my own a little bit. that it was okay and normal that i sometimes struggled to eat in public. that it was something that would improve with time.

i remember i read this one clexa fanfic, and if you ask me to dig it up i will, that so perfectly detailed the abuse i underwent, and it was different in an extremely key way that was invalidating to me (no fault to the writer, fault to me for not being able to tell my story so that i can read it) but in so many ways it was similar that i practically memorized it, you know? when i read the story i was still in the thick of it, and had told no one, and even after i told some people, and after situation lessened, it was still there.

"you're not crazy"

"it wasn't your fault"

"it was as bad as you thought it was"

"you did the best you could"

and that was extremely validating and important.

so sometimes when i write it's with the audience (me) in mind that i can read it back and feel the healing from those emotions.

maybe i'm writing the ranch au to deal with my grief over losing someone dear to me. maybe i wrote the apple butter au to dodge that grief. maybe i write so that i don't feel so isolated, maybe when i write someone else will feel a little less isolated.

maybe that someone else is me.

i was out taking pictures with a friend the other day and she was like Surprised by how little i was at home in my body and she was like you need to love yourself more. and like. okay.

do you know how long it took me to love my personality? my brain? do you know how much it's still an uphill battle?

when i write it is an expression of self-love. there's always a happy ending. even in those little one shots i write based off the prompt game that are usually kinda sad, i always have a happy ending in mind.

there are some things that i might never be able to fit on a page. that i can barely bring myself to talk about much less write. there are somethings that i know i'll have to write, that i'll never understand them if i don't. there are somethings i'll spend the rest of my life writing and i'll never understand them anyway.

is it cathartic? i guess the better question is: do i feel healed for having written it? i like my brain a little more, my body and i are still not on speaking terms, and sometimes i read back my old work and love her, even with everything she was going through.

i'm only nineteen babe, i've got some time.

#hope this says something lol #i tried reading it and deleted it three times so now i'm not gonna read it #i didn't even mention texas son but yeah baby that's projection at its finest #anon say i'm handsome even tho i trauma dumped #or say something else nice #you have to it's the law #i'll sick my mom on you i bet she's around somewhere #gus answers #about me

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e-louise-bates · 4 years

Text

Been thinking about Voyage of the Dawn Treader, and its nature as a story about journeys. Not just the physical journey the ship is on, but the inner journeys each of our main characters experiences. Lewis even described it as a spiritual journey, with Reepicheep as the main example. It’s a pilgrimage that changes each of them.

Reepicheep and Eustace are the most obvious examples here. Reepicheep is questing for Aslan’s Country, and when he reaches it in the end, he throws away his sword, the very symbol of who he is (well, that and his tail), in order to be unencumbered on the final stage.

Then there’s Eustace, who first transforms into the worst version of himself, an literal, physical dragon to match his dragonish inside, and then is transformed by Aslan into a human, whose journey afterward is one of steady upward growth. He’s not magically perfect, but he consistently tries to do better, even if it’s in small ways and even if his attempts fail at times (breaking Caspian’s second-best sword on the sea serpent ...)

But what about the other three? What is their inward journey that matches up with their outward one?

For Caspian, it’s growing into his kingship. It’s learning to accept responsibility. It’s growing less like Miraz, and more like Aslan. We see him in all his pomp and glory in rescuing the other and ending the slave trade in the Lone Islands, but ultimately sailing off and leaving them to clean up after him. Then comes Deathwater, where he falls right into temptation, sliding oh-so-easily into pride, selfishness, and greed. He recovers from that, but the effects linger, leading him to the ultimate struggle as they near the World’s End, when he attempts to abrogate his kingly responsibility in order to pursue a personal quest. Here, the ultimate good for Reepicheep is shown to be not the ultimate good for Caspian--he has to learn how to behave as a king. He is even described as looking like Miraz at one point during the argument, and it isn’t until he sees Aslan’s face that he truly repents and accepts the whole burden of kingship--going back when you’d rather go forward; being responsible when you’d rather have an adventure; following duty even if it means saying goodbye to your friends. That’s Caspian’s journey.

Lucy’s is a bit more subtle. We know that she still “needs” something from Narnia when they arrive, or she wouldn’t have had the adventure. Likewise, we know that she gained whatever it was she needed by the end, or she wouldn’t have been told her time in Narnia was at an end. So what was it? I think it’s fairly obvious that her crisis, the turning point of her journey, came on the Dufflepuds’ Island, with perhaps a secondary crisis at the Dark Island. So let’s look at those.

We see the courage of Queen Lucy the Valiant when she takes the Dufflepuds’ challenge to undo the invisibility spell. And then we see something interesting: she faces an enormous temptation to make herself beautiful/desirable. When she sees Aslan’s face in the middle of the spell, she resists that temptation, but falls to a lesser one, to find out what her friends really think of her. Shortly after that, she makes Aslan visible, shows her true beauty in her joy at seeing him, repents of her wrongdoing, is forgiven and also accepts the consequences. So what’s the underlying theme here? The Disney movie would have it that Lucy needs to love herself. Accepting yourself and not comparing yourself to others is certainly laudable, and certainly Lucy needs to learn the difference between false worth and true worth, but I don’t think that’s the only thing Lewis is getting at here. I think that for Lucy, growing up is bringing a whole lot of new challenges that she hasn’t had to face before, and her particular struggle is seeing Aslan even when it looks like he’s not there. Keeping her focus on him even when she’s tempted to fall into the trap of wanting worldly approval, of finding value in other people’s opinion of her rather than finding her value in Aslan alone. This need to see Aslan even when it looks like he isn’t there is emphasized by the Dark Island, where she is tempted to fall into despair, but retains enough faith to call upon Aslan--and he comes to lead them out of the pit of nightmares. In Prince Caspian Lucy learned to follow Aslan even when no one else could see him: now she has learned to follow him even when she can’t see him.

And Edmund? Edmund is even harder to read than Lucy, in large part because he faced his major spiritual crisis back in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, and he’s only continued to grow in steadfast faith ever since. Yet clearly, as with Lucy, there was something more he needed to take from Narnia before he was ready to leave it behind for his own world. We don’t see much of the story from Edmund’s perspective: when Eustace is undragoned is about it. The only other times he’s not wholly in the background are at Deathwater, on Ramandu’s Island, and chiding Caspian at the end. I will admit it’s difficult for me to pick up on any kind of thread that holds these four instances together. We see him at his best with Eustace, reassuring him and pointing him toward Aslan. He’s at his worst with Caspian on Deathwater, holding his position as one of the ancient Four above the other king’s head. His past with the White Witch makes it hard for him to trust Ramandu’s Daughter, especially with the Witch’s knife reminding him of that past, and then we see him as not a king but a counselor, a mentor, reminding Caspian of his duty, at the World’s End. So what’s Edmund’s journey? The best I can come up with is moving from a kingly role to a priestly role, letting go of past glories to stand as a guide to others; but I’ll admit that doesn’t seem to take into account his discomfort on Ramandu’s Island. If anyone else has any ideas, I’ll gladly hear them.

The other crucial bit about VDT is the sun motif, Sol in the medieval cosmology, that which transforms all baser metals to purest gold. (I am heavily influenced here by Michael Ward’s Planet Narnia.) Even as Deathwater transformed living things to deadly gold, so Aslan’s influence throughout the story transforms all the characters to living gold--people who live in the brightness of the true Sun all the rest of their days. Reepicheep gives up earthly glory for eternal bliss. Eustace accepts the painful transformation offered by Aslan to be reborn into a new person. Caspian lets go of false pride and lust for adventure to become a true king. Lucy turns from false promises of worldly value for the value found in following Aslan. Edmund, if nothing else, becomes a little more like Aslan on this journey.

So it is that the voyage of the Dawn Treader is also a voyage of sanctification for the people aboard it, and that far from being a disjointed series of meaningless vignettes, there is a strong thread of transformation holding it all together.

#narnia #voyage of the dawn treader #cs lewis #whew #this turned a bit more intense than I'd originally expected #and I'm not sure anyone will care but me #oh well #king caspian #queen lucy #king edmund #eustace clarence scrubb #reepicheep

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rosezure · 4 years

Text

Songbird 3 - Firey

Songbird - Chapter 3

A/N: This chapter is more of a filler. But, it does involve a certain 🔥asshole🔥 getting knocked out. So, yey? I guess? Anyways, hope y’all enjoy it.

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to the BNHA/MHA universe, nor its characters. This work is intended for entertainment purposes only. My own characters are, however, of my creation.

Content warning: yelling, fights, tattoos, minor violence, swearing. Please, let me know if I’ve forgotten anything!

Summary | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

"Someone infiltrated HPSC two nights ago."

"Did the intruders take anything?"

"The higher-ups aren't sure."

"Do you think it was a group of villains?"

"We shouldn't be talking about this... Especially not here..."

Tomura Shigaraki heard the whispers of the guards outside his cell. He smirked, wondering how long it would take for him to get out of there. Judging by the recent events, either it was a new group looking to take those arrogant heroes down or, his old comrades were up to something.

The news that the all-powerful HPSC had its walls penetrated somehow spread like a celebrity's scandal. The atmosphere was heavy, unstable. Workers struggled to feel safe within the walls of the agency for the first time since its creation. Unrest was the new norm.

Keigo was shaken. Yes, he hated the Commission with a passion. But they were a law enforcement organization. They were supposed to be the epitome of safety and stability in society. Hell, it had been his first stable home once.

But why were they openly talking about it? In Keigo's experience, the Hero Commission had always kept things lowkey. They were pretty adamant in hiding his past and Endeavor's wrongdoings. Why were they basically advertising that their security system was breached?

What game was the Hero Public Safet Commission playing?

Keigo's eyes narrowed as he watched the news in the teachers' room. Aizawa sat next to him, sipping on some tea. The older hero knew what game it was: diversion. He knew the agency was dirty and corrupt. Someone was probably trying to expose them; this was the president's attempt to vilify the perpetrator before they got the upper hand.

"They're trying to make sure civilians take their side," Aizawa answered Keigo's unasked question. The blonde turned to him with wide eyes.

"That would make sense," He scratched the stubble on his chin, "They're dirtier than the Yakuza..." Keigo trailed off, unsure if he should be unpacking this in such a public setting. He looked at his colleague, anticipating his reaction.

"You can say that again," Aizawa Shota dared to scoff and continue to sip his tea, as though he had just confirmed some mundane gossip.

The two left it at that, with Keigo going as far as turning off the TV just before two other teachers walked in. Ryo and Hizashi were gossiping about the new foreign teacher.

"I bet she can help me with some musical activities for my students," Hizashi clapped his hands in excitement. "Everyone knows learning another language is tons more fun when music is involved!" He raised a finger in the air, wiggling his eyebrows.

"I heard she has a healing-type quirk," Ryo growled, "Maybe she can help Recovery Girl, too. Though no one really knows how her quirk actually works. Nezu wouldn't tell me a single detail." The counselor scowled.

"Aizawa! Hawks!" Hizashi beamed when he noticed the two.

"It's Keigo," The young man corrected with a polite smile.

"Right! I keep forgetting you told the Commission to suck it and started using your first name!" The loud man chuckled. "GOOD FOR YOU!" He cheered a little too loudly for the others in the room.

"So..." Keigo tried to sound casual and unconcerned, "What do you know about this new chick?"

"Keigo," Ryo's gruff voice sounded teasing, "Are you perhaps... Curious?" His teasing smirk broke through, making Keigo get defensive quickly. Ryo took a seat next to him.

"What?! No!" He cursed himself for replying so fast.

"Don't bother hiding it," Aizawa advised as he got up to put his teacup in the sink. "Ryo can read pretty much everyone. And he's hardly ever wrong so, just be honest."

"Okay, yeah, I'm curious." Keigo slumped in his seat, crossing his arms.

"Boy, me too! Nezu is being so secretive, and I'm itching to meet her!" Hizashi added, grabbing a cup of coffee and sitting next to Aizawa at the round table.

"Do you think she speaks Japanese? Or will she have a translator with her at all times? I heard her people speak something called Tupi-"

"Hizashi, I'm sure she speaks Japanese." Aizawa placed a hand on the blonde's shoulder.

Hizashi squinted. "How do you know?"

"I've met her once."

This statement caused a commotion. Indignant cries of "why didn't you tell us!" and "you sneaky bastard!" sounded throughout the room. Aizawa sighed. He should've kept his mouth shut.

"Now you have to tell us everything!" Aizawa doesn't remember the last time Ryo looked so curious.

"Fine, but only if you all shut up!" He grumbled, already rubbing at his face in frustration. The three nodded excitedly. They unconsciously scooted closer, causing Aizawa to groan in the back of his throat. He really should've kept his mouth shut.

"I met her about five years ago. It was around the Emperor's birthday celebrations. The Queen of Pindorama was visiting for diplomatic reasons. A few days before the birthday ceremony, the Prime Minister invited some pro-heroes and Her Majesty to an informal dinner." Aizawa recounted, trying not to cringe at the memory of his etiquette mistakes. The other three men listened closely, doe eyes trained on him.

"I guess it was a show of the alliance the two countries had recently formed. Pindorama had some supplies Japan could use, I think. I'm not sure about the politics. But I do remember it was a recent union, and the Prime Minister was ecstatic about it." Aizawa shrugged. "Anyways, that's when I first met her-"

"FIRST?!" Hizashi's voice boomed, interrupting Aizawa's story. This earned him a hush from the other two. "Sorry!" He whisper-yelled, gesturing for Shota to continue. He rolled his eyes and cleared his throat.

"It was the first time I saw her. The Prime Minister introduced us all. All Might was definitely there, and I think so was Endeavor. There were some other Tokyo-based heroes too, but I don't remember who they were. After we finished our introductions, the Queen introduced the officials she'd brought with her. In Pindorama, they don't have heroes. They're called champions there, and they serve the Queen and the people.

"I remember feeling intimidated by them. I was a pro, so I felt ridiculous. But thinking back to that day, I'm not sure how I managed to stand straight in front of them. They were all very tall, muscular, and stoic. You could feel power emanate from them-"

"Never pegged you as the poetic, descriptive type, Shota," Hizashi snickered behind his hand, teasing the raven-haired man. Ryo quietly slapped him up the head. Hizashi made a noise of protest but quickly realized he had interrupted the story. Again.

"Anyways," Aizawa gave Hizashi a warning stare, "They looked lethal. But on the Queen's right stood a young girl. She was maybe a few inches over five feet. She was all-around small and fragile looking. I could see the other heroes think the same: what was a small teen like her doing with a group of strong champions?"

"Okay, I promise this is a valid interruption," Hizashi raised his hands up defensively, "Why was a supposed young healer doing at a demonstration that included the country's top pro-heroes?" He raised an eyebrow.

"That's actually a pretty good question," Keigo admitted, "But I bet it was to heal the injuries of the heroes if they got any." He uncrossed his arms, placing his elbows on the table. He put his face between his palms, looking at Aizawa expectantly.

"I think Keigo is right," Ryo huffed.

"I was getting to that," Aizawa closed his eyes and sighed. "Maybe I should resume the story some other time."

"NO!" The three chorused. Aizawa's right eye twitched. "Fine. But get me a cup of water. I'm parched."

Hizashi was fast to get up and fetch a glass of icy-cold water. He set it down in front of Aizawa with a blinding smile.

"As I was saying, we were all kind of questioning her presence. She seemed way too weak to be at the Queen's side so protectively. Man, were we wrong. We had a few friendly duels. The Prime Minister and the Queen sat at the side of the makeshift arena we were all in. I was matched with a man with long straight white hair and gray eyes. He took off his shirt to fight me, and when I tell you, I could barely see his skin under all those tattoos..." Aizawa seemed engrossed as he narrated the details.

"Most of the duels ended in a tie. Only Endeavor and the girl were left. He seemed extremely hesitant to fight such a tiny teenager, but the Prime Minister was right there. Endeavor didn't have a choice, so he tried to be as careful as he could. But she just stood there, barely moving as she evaded his attacks."

"You're telling me Mrs. Smalls was toying the Endeavor?" Hizashi giggled in delight.

Aizawa shrugged. "Pretty much, yeah."

Keigo smirked. Months ago, he would've paid to see his idol fighting a foreigner. But now? Oh, he'd pay good money to see the young girl play around with Enji Todoroki.

"He noticed that, too. You could just see his eyes glaring. He was getting frustrated and angry. Endeavor probably felt humiliated, which made him even more aggravated. Finally, after minutes of taunting him, he broke. He sent a sizeable flame ball her way." Aizawa bit his lip to prevent himself from laughing at the memory.

Endeavor had been sweating. This tiny girl was making him sweat, and all she was doing was evading his attacks. After seeing how easily she deflected his strikes, Endeavor started increasing the power behind his flames. But she just continued smiling and barely moving out of the way.

The exasperation painting his face red was humoring her. He was her little toy, and they both knew it. Fuck, even the Prime Minister and the Queen could see it. But Endeavor wouldn't allow her to win without even using her quirk. He could tell she was holding back. This made him even more furious.

He prepared the strongest fireball he could create in those circumstances and threw it directly at her. The flames seemed to hit their target this time. But, when they cleared out, there was no one there.

"Oi! I'm up here!" A feminine voice yelled above them, in Japanese. Endeavor slowly looked up, and there she was: hovering, blindingly-white wings fluttering behind her.

The girl was smirking down at him, and Endeavor really lost it. He flew up into the air as he prepared a massive attack to hit her. This time, she wouldn't be able to escape. Her wings would succumb to the heat of his flames, and he'd win his match.

"Except he didn't." Aizawa chuckled lightly, "The girl was too cunning. She predicted his pattern of attacks and flew in his direction. She took him out with a calculated punch to the side of his face."

"She knocked Endeavor out of the sky?!" Keigo squawked, baffled by what he was hearing. A tiny teen K.Oed his former idol and top hero.

"Yeah, she did," Aizawa sighed, crossing his arms, "But she managed to catch him before he fell and carefully placed him down. She even bowed to his unconscious body. It was both hilarious and terrifying."

"Oh, I like her already!" Ryo growled in approval.

"Same!" Hizashi bellowed with laughter, bending himself.

"So she's tiny, fast, smart, and has white retractable wings." Keigo listed off, removing his face from his hands.

"Yeah, that's her." Aizawa nodded.

"Anything else we should note?" Hizashi gave him a toothy grin and wiggled his eyebrows.

"Actually, yes," Aizawa stood up, "Her eyes. I've never seen colder eyes in my life." With that, he strolled out of the room.

The other three groaned, knowing they'd be left in their curious state. Leave it to Aizawa to make a dramatic exit with a cliffhanger.

"Why did I bother with stealth if they were supposed to find out, Santos?" Asa hissed at the man on her phone's screen.

"Because you didn't want to get caught!" He rolled his eyes, "And mind your attitude. You'll be a teacher and nurse in just a few hours. Try to seem approachable at least."

"I am not here to be buddy-buddy with a bunch of wannabe teen champions." Asa's fist collided with the armrest of her seat.

"You are there representing her Majesty, the Queen of Pindorama. You. Will. Behave. Accordingly." Santos slapped both hands on his desk, his voice booming through the speakers.

Asa huffed, crossing her legs and arms.

"I'll try. For my Queen." Asa smiled sarcastically.

"Drop the acid," Santos sighed in frustration, "Look, Asa. If they publicize about it, it means they're covering something up. This means your mission served its purpose." His hands gestured the sequence of thoughts.

"To confirm the Prime Minister's suspicions on how transparent the agency really is." Asa realized as she uncrossed her arms. "Okay, that makes sense. I guess I'm just sensitive due to the jetlag. Now, can you explain why I had to leave so abruptly if I wasn't due at the academy till tomorrow?" She asked, her tone softer.

"To divert." Santos sat back into his chair, tension leaving his shoulders.

"Yeah, makes sense." Asa looked down at her boots. She felt drained.

"Asa, are you okay?" Santos frowned, sensing her unease.

"Am I ever?" She joked with a sad smile.

Becoming a healer wasn't something she looked forward to. She still heard her tribe's cries almost every night. How would she handle remembering and learning about them? What if her quirk had vanished?

Sensing her fear, Santos called her name softly. Asa looked back up to the screen and took a deep breath to calm herself.

"This will be good for you. There won't be any nosy royal healers forcing you to train your quirk. You won't have to write reports on your wings' condition. You'll learn on your own, at your pace." Santos offered a kind smile, a rarety.

"Thank you, San," Asa smiled back, "I'll be landing soon. Once I get settled, I'll message you and Caique. Tell him I said hi, please?" She uncrossed her legs, moving closer to the screen.

"Of course," Santos nodded, "Oh! Her Majesty wants to say hello!" He excitedly turned the camera to the monarch.

"Hi, my darling!" The Queen waved excitedly. Asa laughed softly, finding it funny how carefree the Queen could be.

"Hello, Your Majesty! I miss home already," Asa pouted.

"You know you don't have to be formal when you're not uniformed, Asa!" The Queen playfully scolded.

"Right, I forgot!" Asa giggled, "I miss you, mother." She sighed softly, her shoulders sagging.

"Take a nap, my love. You should be landing soon. We'll talk again in a few days." Queen Yeba shooed Asa, making her laugh.

"Okay, okay!" Asa waved. "I'll see you soon!" They bid their goodbyes and ended the call.

Asa put her things away and settled into her seat. The plane would be landing in about six hours. After that, she was going to be on Japanese soil. Many things crossed her mind as she prepared to sleep. But one particular thought made her smirk almost evilly: Maybe she'd reencounter a certain hot-headed and arrogant hero. And this time, she wouldn't play nice.

Chapter 4

#bnha #mha #hawks x oc #keigo takami x oc #hawks #keigo takami #bnha au #bnha oc #hawks fanfic #bnha fanfic #boku no hero academia #my hero academia

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give-me-back-my-rhodey · 4 years

Text

Law vs Morals - AUgust Day 19

Title: Law vs Morals

Author: Purple_ducky00

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Violence, slight mentions of period homophobia, major character death (of old age)

Pair: Pepper/Tony, eventual Pepper/Rhodey/Tony

Link: Read on AO3

Summary: Police Chief James Rhodes is adamant on taking down the Stark mob. When he gets kidnapped by the Starks, he starts to see all they do. Can there be some gray in the world of black and white?

Written for @endrega23 I hope you enjoy it!

+++++++++

The Stark family has ruled New York City for the better part of the 1800s, growing stronger as each successor took their place as the head. Howard followed Montgomery, strengthening their hold by marrying Maria Carbonell and taking over the Carbonell family business as well. Anthony, or Tony, now sits on the seat. Rumors of his cunning and ruthlessness precede him. No one steps onto his territory without him knowing. Anyone who tries to go against his rule is taken care of immediately.

The problem with this is, no one can pin anything on Stark. Any mobster caught is more afraid of their boss than the police and will not say a word. Police Chief Rhodes devotes his life to taking down the Stark family. The only problem is that most of his cops have been bought by the mobster. It’s up to him alone to find evidence on the man.

Stark himself is a bit of a recluse. He doesn’t go out much, and when he does, he goes big. All eyes are on him, and everyone knows where he is and what he’s doing. It’s very hard to accuse him of any wrongdoing when the public loves him. Rhodes has met him several times. Stark greets him happily, even giving him the nickname of ‘Rhodey’. Rhodes can admit that if he did not know that Stark was a criminal, they’d probably be good friends.

Rhodes once got a tip-off telling him to keep an eye out for Stark’s wife. A high-society woman, Mrs. Stark is seen at all the social events wearing the latest gowns in fashion. Graceful and beautiful, she is always the star of the show. Rhodes often wonders if she knows her husband deals in criminal affairs. Rhodes tails her for a few days, but nothing she does seems out of the ordinary. He finally gives up and goes back to his normal routine.

Another tip-off leads him to bring down Tiberius Stone, Stark’s competitor. Stone himself cannot tie Stark to anything either, but he feeds Rhodes with a lot of rumors and information. “Potts, well Mrs. Stark now, is not as genteel as she seems. She is deadly, officer, deadly. She runs more of the operation than Stark himself. They say that he told everyone who works for him that whatever she says goes. She’s the real kingpin here.” He also rattles off places that he assumes Stark uses as fronts for his real business.

Chief Rhodes goes by foot as there are no available carriages and he’d prefer to be inconspicuous. Taking it upon himself to search the buildings, Rhodes stumbles across a dead body, brutally beaten and mangled. He’s ready to call it in when something hits the back of his head, and he falls, unconscious.

He wakes up in a nicely furnished room, handcuffed to the headboard of a bed. Struggling to get free, he doesn’t notice the person sitting next to him until they clear their throat. Rhodes yells. “Let me go, you bastard!” Until he realizes that the person sitting next to him is a woman, that woman being Mrs. Stark. “Pardon my language, ma’am.”

The woman frowns down at him. “Don’t patronize me,” She says. “I wanted to kill you immediately. You had better be thankful that my husband likes you. Now that you’re awake, I’ll get him.” She pushes down a button and calls. “Send Mr. Stark to the hold, please.”

A few minutes later, Stark rushes in the door. “Rhodey!” He smiles, face beaming. “It’s so nice to see you again!”

Mrs. Stark rolls her eyes, muttering, and Rhodes pulls against his cuffs. “What do you want from me? Why am I here?”

“I don’t really want you to be here, but it was either keep you here or kill you, and I don’t want to see you killed.” Stark’s eyes get sad.

“Don’t go playing the victim here, Stark.” He growls. “Everyone knows you’re a criminal. I am going to get out of here and take you down.”

“Tony, I told you he’s not going to cooperate,” Mrs. Stark sighs.

Tony holds out his hand to her. “Pepper, I don’t want to kill him, please.”

This comes off weird to Rhodes. Tony Stark, the invincible head of the Stark gang, is pleading to his wife to spare the life of the only cop who’s been trying to bring him down for the past decade? What is going on here? He watches as the couple share a conversation with their eyes. Mrs. Stark sighs again and shrugs. Tony turns back to Rhodes. “I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to stay here. Collateral damage and all – I’m sure you understand. Please know that you may ask for whatever you want, and it shall be given to you. You’ll be treated like a special guest. But you'll have a guard with you at all times so that you can’t escape.”

“Why don’t you just kill me?” Rhodes sinks back on the bed.

Tony sits beside him. “Because, Rhodey, I like you. And I never want to see you dead.”

“What are you going to do if my men start looking for me?”

“Rhodey, be serious. First off, I have all your men on my payroll. Secondly, did you tell anyone where you were going?” Stark tilts his head. Rhodes has to admit that he has a point.

The Starks assign two guards to Rhodes, a thin teenager who is exceptionally strong and a stony faced man with a prosthetic arm. The teenager likes to talk. He tells Rhodes how Mr. Stark saved him and his aunt from being thrown out on the street because they couldn’t pay rent. He goes on about his friends, his boyfriends, and the food he had for breakfast until the other guard, Barnes, asks him to shut it.

“What about you?” Rhodes asks snidely. “Did Mr. Stark save your life as well?”

“No, but he saved my wife's. I was already working for him when she was caught by the police. She smuggled her way over here from Russia, and they didn’t like that very much. Mr. Stark paid them off before they did anything vile to her. I am forever grateful for that.”

What is this, the time for sob stories? Rhodes scoffs. It wouldn’t surprise him that Stark would pay them to tell him these things. For some reason, Stark always wanted to be on his good side. Maybe he wants to win Rhodes over, too. It won’t happen.

The Starks find out not too long after that Pepper is pregnant. Tony removes her from any field work until she comes to term. He doesn’t want her, or his unborn child injured in any way. The redhead works behind the scenes a lot more now. As Stark is very busy, she spends a lot of time sitting with Rhodes. They play chess and checkers while Pepper puts her feet up. She usually wins, but there are a few times Rhodes is able to eek in a victory.

As he resides at the Stark mansion, he starts to notice things. Tony spends most of his time in his workshop, either developing new weapons for his men, or more often than not, manufacturing things to help people in their daily lives. He overhears one of Stark’s men asking what to do with the Keener family. “She’s late on her payments once again, sir.”

“It’s not her fault they won’t hire a single mother. Let her live there for free. It’s not costing me anything. Besides, Harley comes here a lot of times after school. I appreciate his help. Leave them alone and work over the rich assholes who won’t pay their workers,” Tony replies.

Pepper funds many orphanages and homes for the poor. Between the two of them, the Starks are building a respectable neighborhood around them, something they wouldn’t have been able to do without their drug and crime money.

One day, when Tony comes in from a stroll, Rhodes mentions this to him. Tony smiles. “Now you’re getting it. Tell me, Rhodey, which is better? Me, robbing the extremely wealthy of the funds they’ll never use to help build up the city or having men in power who only strive for their own greatness? Who hire police officers who will imprison the misfortunate because they have no home and take advantage of the unarmed women? I hope you realize that just because something is legal, it’s not always moral. And vice versus.”

“Is that how you sleep at night?” Rhodes scoffs.

Tony sighs. “No, how I sleep at night is with my darling wife in a very comfortable bed. You’d be welcome to join if you’d like.”

Rhodes is taken aback. Stark just said that so… casually. Doesn’t he know he could get killed for that kind of comment? Homosexuality is a taboo, and those who have those feelings didn’t dare speak in public about it. Rhodes knows; he is one of those persons. In any other case, he would have brushed it off as a joke, but… he can’t stop thinking about it. He’s not sure if it’s Stockholm Syndrome or not, but his feelings towards Mr. and Mrs. Stark have definitely changed.

Thinking of them as friends and not enemies, he often seeks out their company now. Pepper and he have long conversations about art, strategies, and even fashion. He accompanies Tony to his workshop every now and again. He learns about simple mechanics and the newest technologies. They have settled into a very easy camaraderie.

Now, Tony makes that comment. Rhodes can’t deny that he finds both husband and wife very attractive. He decides, after a long night of debate, to leave the comment as it was said and not think of it again until…

One night, he knocks on Pepper’s parlor door for their usually book reading. Like most times, she doesn’t answer. He slips in the door only to find her and Tony getting it on. They don’t pull away when they see him, and he backs up, stammering. “I-I’m sorry. I’ll just come back later.”

“Join us?” Pepper asks, head thrown back in pleasure.

They must have been serious. Rhodes thinks. “Are you sure?”

“Would we have asked were we not sure?” Tony queries. “We want you here, Rhodey, but we understand if you would prefer to leave.”

“No, I will stay.”

++++++++ When little Morgan is born seven months later, Pepper introduces her to both of her fathers. Rhodey becomes part of the business. When Pepper stays in the background tending to Morgan, he takes control of the next moves. He and Pepper band together when Tony takes care of the baby, which is more often than not. She has him wrapped around her finger.

Rhodey loves Morgan. She’s not his child by blood, but she’s his child. No one dares to tell him or her otherwise. He teaches her how to defend herself at a very young age. It is not a secret that she will be even more powerful than her predecessors.

The trio stick together as laws change, as Morgan grows, as they grow old. Pepper is the first to pass, falling sick with the flu. Rhodey is next at the age of eighty-five. Tony passes not long after, handing the reins of the business to his daughter. Although she grows more powerful than her parents, tales are still told about the trio that ran New York.

#pepperony #eventual pepperhony #james rhodes #Tony stark #pepper potts #19th century au #tw violence #tw major character death #major character death but of old age #tw: period homophobia #au_gust_2020 #i write!

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zamorawrites · 4 years

Note

I suspect that Prince Megamind is responsible for many religious conversions. Megamind is born and invents dehydrated stasis for 100X-the-storage-capacity, 3000-gallon Water Purification Tablets, Invisibility Coating, planetary-defense portals, AND Bryse Cyborgs, and also kills a rapist... RIGHT when they needed to pack up literally everything & flee to the planet of polluted waters and hostile, non-monogamous natives. That's GOT to be a sign from the gods, right?

I really love this question! Especially because I haven’t really had much of a chance to dive too deep into the religious aspect of OWBP yet (other than that the governmental system is a mixture of a Monarchy and a Theocracy, considering that the Monarch’s in command are seen by some as demigods. Ergo, the translation in Chapter 9 of Aevurlla meaning Divine Guidance. The leaders of a branch are seen as divine beings by the majority of the population.)

I’m really excited for some of the upcoming chapters because we do get to see a bit more of the religious side of their culture. (In the next chapter Roxanne goes out with Megamind’s parents. There’s a scene that starts out the chapter where she’s literally just walking through the ship with them and when people realize who Megamind’s parents are, suddenly hundreds of people are holding a fist to their chests and taking a knee as a show of respect and loyalty.) (Needless to say Aevurlla’s normally have someone else run the weekly errands, because talk about making a scene.)

(I’m gonna take a rabbit trail for a little bit here.)

In the next chapter, Roxanne is talking with his parents over lunch and Megamind’s father tells her; “He’s a genius even by our standards, let alone human ones.” and then blatantly just upright admits; “If he hadn’t have been born and accomplished everything that he has, none of us would have survived the black hole. Our whole species would be dead.” Which is, a lot to get hit with over lunch. (Of course then he goes on to explain why that’s true.)

Now, Megamind, having spent the last 15 years of his life under house-arrest honestly doesn’t have that great of a feel for his own society. He’s not particularly interested in politics, and when he had the choice to go invent something or watch the news, he chose the prior. He’s the next in line to lead, and he’s lost when it comes to leading. He doesn’t even really know how his people see him.

In reality, people either love him or hate him. The number of people who are neutral towards him is so small that there’s not really a reason reporting the figure. And even then, out of the of people who hate him, the main reason is that he’s being seen as such a powerful religious figure, and it’s not like he’s a saint with a perfect record. He’s killed before. And no one wants a wrathful God running around.

The religious adore him.

The non-religious see him as a threat, because religion gets people killed. It justifies terrible wrongdoings. It starts wars. ‘You can do no wrong if the God you worship mandated what you did.’ It’s dangerous. (But they’re the minority, now more than ever.)

Meanwhile, Megamind is over here throwing around the sentence; “I’m a man, not a God.” nearly every other chapter.

Roxanne is interviewed during the next chapter, and the reporter gives her a quick run-down before giving her an interview; “So, I’m gonna start by asking you what it’s been like here and how you’ve liked it. Let’s try to keep it positive, given the current climate. Then, I’m gonna ask you how the third day has been going, how you’ve been enjoying meeting your future in-laws. Make sure you keep that one very positive, everybody adores those two. Then, I’m gonna ask how things have been going with Mehkean.”

To which Roxanne has gotten the idea already, and she says: “Keep it positive, I take it?”

And at that question the reporter suddenly gets really damn serious and tells her; “You don’t just keep that one positive. You act like he invented the god-damned sun. Do you understand?” And when Roxanne asks an incredibly justified ‘what?’ she’s quickly told; “People are going to kill you if you say he’s a jerk. So act like he makes this fucking planet spin.”

Megamind hasn’t just converted non-believers to religion or restored the weary’s faith. He’s starting to be seen as The New God.

After all, did their Goddess not die with their planet? And was he not the one who led them into a new life on a new planet?

Was that not the end days? And did he not save them all from certain death, and lift them up from a dying planet, and provide them with a new one?

Is he not their savior?

Like Drarro says next chapter; If it wasn’t for what Megamind accomplished in the twenty-seven years he had on his planet before it was destroyed, their species would no longer exist.

And sure, the new planet he led them to isn’t perfect. It’s polluted, not that he couldn’t fix that. And it is already inhabited with primitive, seemingly bloodthirsty creatures.

However, he seems to be willing to give them a chance. Perhaps they all should too. He clearly knows what's best, right?

I’m really excited that I’ve finally gotten a lot of the political stuff out, because now I can start delving into these religious intricacies.

In an upcoming chapter, Roxanne asks him what his view on religion is. Does he worship their Goddess? Is he an athiest? What are his views there? To which he says; “I have a hard time dedicating myself to something that I don’t know exists. And... scientifically, I have no proof that there is a higher power. It’s a nice thought, but... where’s the proof? People like to go preaching about this all-powerful and all-knowing being and... no. Just no. Maybe there is a Goddess or a God, but I refuse to accept that there’s a higher power that’s both all-powerful and all-knowing, because if there is, that person is a tyrant. If you know everything that’s wrong, and you can fix it all with a snap of your fingers, and you choose to let people suffer, then you don’t deserve worship. I could understand worshiping an all-knowing God or an all-powerful God, but not one that’s both. I just... I’m rambling... sorry. I suppose the answer you wanted was, I’m not particularly religious myself, but perhaps I could be if I knew there was something out there worthy of my worship. For now, let’s just say science is my Goddess.”

In a few chapters Megamind is going to be hit with the reality of what he’s become to his people, and it’s going to be an internal battle. Because he’s not a God; he’s lost, and confused, and terrified, and he just wants his mother to stay in charge. But people want him in charge.

There is going to be a metric fuckton of character development coming up for him. He’s going to struggle with trying not to fall prey to the power that comes with being seen as a literal God. Thankfully, he has Roxanne to put him back in his place and smack some sense into him when he gets out of control; but like he thought in chapter 10, ‘Power was a very addicting thing.’

Anyways, if you’ve read this far I’m amazed! lol. Here’s my favorite ‘Megamind being forced into God-hood’ line:

“I know you’re all angry, you want revenge, but what kind of a God would I be if I wasn’t a merciful one?”

This got out of control and I’m going to end it here before I spoil the whole damn story lol.

Thank you for the ask Elf! :D

#megamind #one white blank page #owbp #my writing #god this got out of hand #i just really love talking about the owbp universe because there's so much going on #elf-kid2

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harleyquinnbluemoonlove · 4 years

Text

Welcoming the new Social Movement/Platform/Political Party in the World

Official Name: Blue Dog Bite Mafia 888 *BETA*

Owner/CEO/Founder/Dealer/Player/Delivery BAD B:

Current Name: Monica Gill FUTURE Name: Mercedes Lynnette Giovanni

Email: [email protected]

Current Financial Status: $0.00 ---- You may DONATE by using CASH APP Cash Tag #$bluedogbitemafia888

***MY CYBER FAMILY MUST ENSURE THAT DONATIONS ARE NOT HIGHJACKED/STOLEN****

BASIC IDEA/PLAN OF ATTACK/EXECUTION OR POSITIVE WORDS LIKE “LAUNCH”. We can issue an ATTACK or a LAUNCH CODE.

I will dumb it down a little bit. I am taking advantage of my position of power, now that I am a Celebrity in the World. Its the greatest feeling in the world, feels better than good sex and that is a hard thing for me to admit because I love some good, hot, sweaty sex and I’ve been going without for several weeks. I almost fell like a Nun because I cannot even pleasure myself because I was molested as a child by Lovie Price’s boyfriend “Frank Parker” a gasoline man from an early. I told Connie Price about it when I was 15 and her name at the time was Connie Dunford. It was the same day Brandie Ann Thompson said Curtis Triplett tried to rape her in the bathroom at the house In Frayser, Memphis TN. Brandie Ann in her hayday, resembled a youthful Cameron Diaz. Cameron Diaz dated Justin Timberlake once upon a time. She played in the move “The mask” and the mask was green. At the end of the movie, the dog put on the mask. You all know, when you wear that mask---you become a Shape Shifter, transforming into anything/anyone you think will grab the Hot or Not Rated #10 Woman’s ATTENTION/HEART/LOVE and will do anything, I mean anything to get it. The secret to my success is a compilation of everything good, bad, dirty, evil and let’s call it “The Struggle” or the “Human Experience”.

Old School (OS) Operating System (OS) Back to Basics (B2B) Brandie Thompson (BT) Barry Thompson (BT) Blue Tooth (BT) Brandie Smith (BS) Bull Shit (BS) Rent A Center (RAC) Roger Adren Crawford (RAC) $1K (RAK) Rags to Riches Richard Abernathy (RA) **secret boyfriend shh!!** Douche Bag (DB) or Douglas Belknap (DB) Thomas Jones (TJ) County Road (CR) Danny Thomas (DT) Deanna Thomas (DT) ... Trying to show you how I think period dot. In ya’ll are slow, period dot also equal two dots. You must have two dots to play connect the dots and draw the lines to illustrate inspiration into a masterpiece. The best pieces of Art are very old, have a solid reputation, and is properly curated to ensure it maintains its value for infinity times three.

Basically, you can get with my program, drink my Kool Aid, swallow your pride, do the right thing, if you have done something wrong, you really need to return to your basic religious beliefs what they may be, get right with yourself, because what you have done will come to light, exposed, we are moving on from there. We are, as a society going to change and deliver the children and the children’s children: a brighter future with more options, a limited amount of privacy, give them the world and see what they can accomplish with living in a world of positive vibes, beautiful colors, great music, entrepreneurship, dreams, and now, the little girls if we get married will truly believe in fairytales. This right here is whats up because we have an opportunity, once in a lifetime opportunity, to fix society, establish unity and peace, competition is good but everyone needs a chance to win sometimes to boost their confidence and pride. When there is monopoly or kingdom, it fosters the seven deadly sins, seven capital sins, and the seven cardinal sins, which is systemic to original sin.

Genesis clearly explains that certain things were created on certain days and back time was measured. You cannot just create a man or a woman. First, you need the Universe. Then, you need the Galaxy which creates Space. In Space, you have the moon, stars, sun, planets, black holes, asteroids, comets, shooting stars, orbit, gravitational pull. Here we are on planet Earth with 7 continents and 7 oceans. I like the number 8 because it represent a number, a symbol, and no limitations--infinity. My son was born on 3-8-03 weighing 8 pounds, 8 ounces and 19.5 inches long, color: BLUE, life: No sign of it. It took 10 minutes and PLEADING WITH THE LORD AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS SCREAMING PRAYING TO PLEASE GIVE HIM LIFE, I DON’T WANT TO HAVE GONE THROUGH 35.5 HOURS OF LABOR AND 7 HOURS OF HARD PUSHING WITH NO PAIN MEDICINE, NO EPIDURAL, GAVE BIRTH TO A STILL BORN BABY NATURALLY AND THE GOOD LORD ANSWERED MY PRAYERS AND THAT BOY CRIED AND WENT TO THE NICU AT BETHESDA NAVAL HOSPITAL IN MONTGOMERY COUNTY, MARYLAND. ITS ALSO REFERRED TO AS “THE PRESIDENTS HOSPITAL”.

He is 17 years old, already a MASTERMIND and a Professional Gamer. He is so smart like me, that he had to design/build/code his own computer because there is not a computer on the planet that can keep up with his level of gaming. I saw a photo of it. Its a desktop computer with the case taken off the side--lit up with blue LED lights

It’s Confession Time and Holy Communion Time that means confess your sin, wrongdoing, break bread, eat bread, drink wine, not whine. No days off, no excuse, no immunity, no setups, no blame game, no liars, no stealing, checks and balances, no absolute power because absolute power fosters absolute corruption, which is why were in this position right now with COVID-19, Corona Virus.

I think one person needs a pardon because he has stayed on the job, even though he was originally lied to by the Feds. He deserves a pardon, record expunged, and an opportunity. I see great potential, just needs an opportunity, believe in himself, and have the courage to escape his own prison of gold diggers, groupies, fans, and whores.

In this triad, it is a rags to riches story times three. There is only 1 TRUE VERSION of ME, and its right here in Memphis TN, age: 41(Birth Cert).

To succeed in any sports game, you must be fit, educated, content with yourself to include your pros/cons/demons and knowledgeable & intelligent enough to know that I am certified True OG, I got your back no matter what because to me money ain’t a thing, fame fades just like stars, but loyal dogs do not turn on their master unless they are abused or hungry. I am a Blue AKC Royal Bloodline Pitbull, Staffordshire Terrier. Pitbull is the image you need to have in your mind when you think of ME.

#donations #loyalty #888 #TRUMP2020 #IG #WHISTEBLOWER ACT #RULES #ESPNSPORTS #RAPGODS #GREEKGODS #GOD #CLASHOFTITANS #THEGAME #THEROCK #GLUE #DOCTORS #LAWYERS #COWBOYS #DANCE #L.I.F.E. #LOVE #SM #EM

#NEED SOME COM[ANY AND VITAMIN D

BLUE, COME ON UNLESS YOU ARE “CHICKEN” “SCARED”

I PROMISE I WILL NOT BITE. BUT, I AM STARVING, LONELY, NEED MONEY TO CREATE AND LAUNCH MY DREAMS TO POSITIVELY AND EFFECTIVELY CHANGE THE WORLD WHICH WILL PLACE ME AND PRESIDENT TRUMP IN THE HISTORY BOOKDS. AND THE HISTORY BOOKS ARE GOING TO BECOME FACTBOOKS, AND HISTORY CLASSES WILL BE MANDATORY THROUGHOUT LIFE REGARDLESS OF AGE, POSITION, JOB, FINANCIAL STATUS BECAUSE THE BEST EDUCATION IS A “CONTINUOUS EDUCATION”. IF YOU DO NOT CONTINUE LEARNING, YOU BECOME RUSTY AND THEN, YOU CANNOT KEEP UP THE FAST PACED CHANGES OF ADVANCE TECHNOLOGY IN THE REAL WORLD AND IN THE REAL GAME OF LIFE.

RECOMMENDATIONS ARE AS FOLLOWS:

1. DONATE MONEY TO MY CAUSE ON CASH APP

$BLUEDOGBITEMAFIA888

DO NOT HACK MY PHONE OR MY LAPTOP, DO NOT HACK ANYTHING OR ANYBODY BC YOU CANNOT DO IT BETTER THAN U.S. BC U.S. CREATED THE INTERNET IN WASHINGTON DC AT THE PENTAGON CALLED “DARPANET” IN 1974. THE FIRST COMPUTER WAS AN APPLE, SECOND COMPUTER WAS MICROSOFT. A GOOD BRAND IS A HP WITH MS WINDOWS. I HAVE A BLUE HP LAPTOP STREAM, I HAVE A BLACK APPLE IPHONE 7. I AM ON A WIFI WITH A VPN THAT KEEPS GETTING DISABLED. THE SOUND ON MY PHONE DOES NOT WORK. I AM BACKING UP BOTH DEVICES AND GOING TO RESET TO FACTORY SETTINGS SO I CAN GURANTEE EFFECTIVE DIGITAL SECURITY.

2. I NEED COMPANY TO SIT WITH ME, DRINK WITH ME. I WOULD LOVE SOME JACK AND COKE OR A BUD LIGHT. I WOULD ALSO LOVE SOME FOOD THAT CONTAINS RED MEAT TO ASSIST ME WITH MY BLOOD PROBLEMS. BUDDY OR BLUE OR YO -- FIGURE IT AND SEND ME SOMEONE I KNOW. I AM TOO PRETTY AND TOO COOL TO BE CHILLING BY MYSELF WITH NO FOOD, NO ALCOHOL, NO MONEY, NO WEED, ETC.

3. SELF EVALUATE OR DO A PEER REVIEW/. SELF EVALUATION IS LOOKING AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR AND THINKING ABOUT YOUR LIFE. I LIKE TO WRITE THINGS DOWN, IF HELPS ME. IT WILL BRING ABOUT A SENSE OF UNDERSTANDING WHO, WHAT, WHY YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE, HOW YOU BECAME PERSON, AND DESIGN YOUR OWN ROADMAP TO BEING A BETTER PERSON AND OPENING YOUR HEART TO REALIZATION THAT THE CHILDREN ARE THE FUTURE, RIGHT WE ARE THE WORLD, WE CAN ACHIEVE GREATNESS, A NEW TYPE OF MAGIC “UTOPIA”.

WHAT ARE YOU ABOUT? WHAT DO YOU WANT OUT OF LIFE? ARE YOU HAPPY WITH YOURSELF? CAN YOU FREE YOUR MIND? CAN YOU OPEN YOUR HEARTS? CAN YOU COMMIT? DO YOU KNOW WHEN TO WALK AWAY? WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE IN? DO YOU HAVE CONFIDENCE? ARE YOU IN YOUR OWN PRISON--YOUR MIND, YOUR FEELINGS, YOUR RELATIONSHIP STATUS?

WISDOM COMES WITH TIME, EXPERIENCE, EDUCATION, HARD WORK, SERVICE, LOYALTY, PURPOSE, AND TRAVELING.

At the end of the day, who do you want to be with?

Woman - Wise can deliver the world or drop the world, age 41 -- looks better than 20 & 30 year old GIRLS. Does not care about money, fame, status, power because the game was scheduled and unfortunately, unaware of the OP -- she walked, ran, sprinted STOLE the Flag, and won the game.

Everyone wants to still run their mouths, try to control a man, and those hos, have no power, position, fame, etc. They are with or around you because of who you are, what you have done, and what you can give them---in my opinion that is abuse of power and targeting someone to manipulating them to do what you want them to do.

I like structure, things to be done a certain way because I like cleanliness, organization, faith, love, hope, trust, and loyalty.

I would not cop an attitude with everyone, if I did not feel like the world was against me. Hint, hint -- I don’t trust authority figures because I was molested, abused, targeted, almost died several times, lied to, cheated on, setups, smear campaigns, gossiped about, bullied, beat on, yelled at, called names, jealous women everywhere so dumb they forget I have a hunger against Human Trafficking. People are on this RACISM BULL SHIT.

Its 2020, Racism = IGNORANCE AND IGNORANCE IS NOT BLISS ANYMORE, IGNORANCE IS DEADLY.

Basic belief system of Karma, it is a metaphysical/paranormal reality that is mixed with real, artificial, and soon-to-be virtual reality. It is what it is.

What you set your mind, what you do and the thoughts and actions you put into the world will either grant you your dreams or come back times three by the of karma, what goes around, comes around.

I want/will do good and be a good role model for everyone. I am going to teach, help you, do what I want, when I want, how I want because I know my worth, my value, and what I can GURANTEE/DELIVER.

Greed, jealousy, laziness, and all the ugly things that are in the world

WILL

get you no where but hungry, lonely but free, penniless, candy-less, eliminate sports.

COMMIT OR QUIT

MY MISSION WILL ENDURE AND CARRY ON UNTIL I FEEL MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. I DO NOT HAVE A FAILURE TO THRIVE AND I DO NOT LACK A WILL TO LIVE.

MY ISNT OVER, YET;

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this-song-thats-only-for-you · 5 years

Text

Transformation Part 2

Summary: You had loved your best friend for as long as you could remember. Your love was strong, but was it strong enough to overcome the impossible?

Characters: Kim Doyoung x Reader

Genre: magic / witchcraft / transformation au

A/N: Welcome to my third story in Frightful October. This weeks theme: Spellbound. This story will be posted in two parts. Sorry for the late posting. The first part can be found here.

Word count: 2,239

Panic started to overcome you as you stared at yourself, the orange fur covering every part of where your skin should be. Were you seeing clearly? Surely you would wake up from this nightmare, it couldn’t possibly be true. You proceeded for the next twenty minutes to bring yourself out, and wake up from this nightmare, even going so far as to bite yourself, yet nothing worked. You were indeed a fox. You decided then to inspect your surroundings, realizing if you could not return to your normal human form, then the next best thing would be to escape and search for help.

“Where am I?” you repeated to yourself, scanning the room for any indication. The room felt spacious for its small size, hardly any furniture decorated the space. A small bed adorned one side of the room, a small table next to it, with a toilet placed on the opposite side. You huffed out a breath of air, determination setting in and overriding your sense of fear from earlier on. You walked around on your new-found four legs, noticing the ground below you was softer as you headed towards the locked door. Using your paw you began to dig, unsure of why it came over you to do so. Minutes passed, and your paws dug deeper, noticing the light now shining through under the door, your way of escape.

“Thank goodness!” you screamed, although the sound that met your ears was a small howl of delight. This was definitely going to take some getting used to. Shaking yourself out of the thought, you crawled your way through the small space you had made, somewhat proud of your resilience, as you noticed the sun was starting to set in the sky. You decided then to go to the only place you knew to be safe. The one place Doyoung would look for you.

To say Doyoung was panicked was an understatement. He had waited for you to arrive home from his mothers for over an hour before he tried to call you, but you didn’t answer. Within ten minutes he was at his mothers’ doorstep, asking her where you were. She seemed to be keeping something from him, and only told him that you had long gone. Before he left he made sure to let her know to call him if she heard from you, even though he knew that would be highly unlikely.

It struck him then to go to your cabin, the safe haven for the two of you. If anything had happened to you that would be the first place you would turn to. His eyes grew large as his mind wandered away with him, his thoughts turning dark at what might have happened to you. Never in your whole life had he not been able to contact you, and it frightened him to no end.

He let out a sigh of relief as he finally reached the cabin, his hands on his knees as he caught his breath. Walking to the front door his eyes washed over the porch, searching for any indication that you were here. The lights were off inside when the door creaked open; his body slumped in defeat, his hopes of you being here safe and sound slipping from his grasp. Flicking the light on and closing the door behind himself he turned towards the living area, stopping dead in his tracks upon seeing a bright orange fox sitting there, watching him intently.

“What the..” he questioned, his eyes furrowing in disbelief as he slowly made his way further into the room. The fox, unmoving followed him with its eyes as he stood behind the couch, his hands gripping onto the back tightly. “How did you get in here?” he asked softly into the room as he continued to watch the fox expectantly.

You sat still, watching Doyoung warmly, your eyes pleading with him to realize it was you, not that he could tell but you were hopeful, especially when he spoke to you. His voice soothed the panic still within you as you tried to speak.

“It’s me. I got inside through the window.”

At least that was what you were trying to say, all that could be heard were barks and squeaks coming from your furry mouth. You stopped, defeat in your posture as you moved onto the couch, circling the spot on your favourite blanket with a huff. Doyoung watched you entirely fascinated as he moved from behind the couch, sitting himself down slowly next to you.

“The only person I know who likes this blanket is Y/N.” he announced affectionately “And now there’s you. Why are you not afraid of me? Why am I not afraid of you?”

He had a million questions running through his mind as he sat there watching you closely. Why did he feel a sense of calmness wash over him with this strange fox inside this cabin? The worry of finding you started to dissipate and he didn’t know why.

Suddenly everything turned into complete darkness, Doyoung’s eyes struggling to see anything. Confusion set in until a light began to appear, it was only small but he felt a pull to go towards it, so he did. Slowly he stepped forward, the light moving just out of his reach, yet it began to open up. He stopped upon seeing a figure standing there. He would recognize that silhouette anywhere. A sigh of relief left his body as he smiled broadly, his hands reaching out for you.

It felt like a million years had gone by since he had seen you last. Had you always been this beautiful? Of course, you had, in his eyes, you were something else entirely. You hadn’t noticed him approach you yet, staring off into the distance as your hand played with an ornament hanging from your neck. Doyoung squinted, not ever having seen it before. It seemed out of place hanging from your neck, the pendant in the shape of a human heart made of brass.

“Y/N, where did you get the pendant?” his voice sounding distorted even to his own ears. You turned to face him then, your smile soft, yet not fully reaching your eyes.

“It’s me.” You replied, eyes locking with his as your hand still played with the pendant gently. He soaked you in, seeing the sadness in your eyes, yet a small glimmer of hope shone through too. What did you mean?

He sucked in a breath as he shifted his gaze to your hands, the pendant shining a bright orange as your hand started to dissolve.

“Find me.”

“Y/N!” he shouted after you as you disappeared before his eyes.

Doyoung woke up in a sweat, the images of losing you not leaving his mind. It took him a moment to realize where he was, his erratic breathing filled the room as he searched for you, only to find the fox sleeping soundly next to him.

“Find me.” He whispered as he watched the animal intently, his hand reaching out to pat it lightly.

You stirred under his touch, a yawn leaving your mouth as you stretched your furry limbs. You paused mid-stretch, your eyes connecting with Doyoung’s, pleading for him to see you.

“Find me.”

Instantly the air around you changed, becoming thicker and making it hard to breathe. Doyoung’s body froze, his hand stopping just inches away from you as a surge of electricity shot through the both of you. It was like a switch went off inside his mind, Doyoung finally seeing you.

“Y/N?”

“Yes! Yes, it’s me!” You yapped, excitement overwhelming you as you jumped up into his arms, tail and all. Doyoung laughed lightly, his arms capturing you almost instantly, his eyes crinkled as he smiled, relief flooding him once again.

“I had the strangest dream. It led me to you.” He confessed, his hand still running over your fur gently “And I think I know how to get you back.”

Thud. Thud. Thud.

He banged on the large wooden door with urgency, his fist turning red, but Doyoung didn’t care. His heart raced faster as his anger began to bubble to the surface the longer he waited for his mother to open the door. It felt like forever but soon she appeared, opening the door reluctantly.

“Doyoung what are you-?”

“Don’t. Where is she?”

He pushed past his mother, you following closely behind him as his mothers eyes grew large, her skin turning white in fear as she saw you.

“Whoever do you mean?” she asked as casually as she could muster.

“Agatha. She did this yes?”

Doyoung sat down on the couch, his manners thrown out the window as he folded his arms in front of his chest defiantly. He glared in his mothers direction waiting for her to admit to her wrongdoings.

“Change her back. Now.”

“I can’t. I mean I don’t know how to.” She confessed, fumbling over her words.

“Yes, you do.”

Doyoung had no plans to back down until he had you back in his arms, the way you should be. Twenty minutes later and Agatha finally made herself known to the household. She walked into the room without a care in the world, her body language radiating annoyance more than anything.

“You made her this way. Now change her back.” Doyoung demanded, standing up and crossing the room in mere seconds as he towered over her. She seemed unfazed by his theatrics, her eyes looking straight through him and making contact with you, still sitting quietly by the couch.

“Why should I? It is no concern of mine young man.” She replied uninterestedly as she began to remove her cloak from around her shoulders. It was then that Doyoung noticed a familiar pendant hanging around her neck. The same one that appeared in his dream that morning. Was it a sign? It had to be. Without another thought, Doyoung reached out to pull it from around her throat, the brass heart in his hands within a second. He stumbled backward, his hand still clutching the pendant tightly. He felt it then, a sudden throbbing within his hand. The heart was beating.

“No!” she wailed, her hands stretching out desperately towards Doyoung.

“Smash it!” You yelled, although only barking could be heard. Doyoung turned to you nodding once as he threw the heart with all his might into the ground, smashing it almost instantly into tiny little pieces.

A blinding light filled the room, the force throwing everyone off their feet and onto the ground. Blinking rapidly Doyoung shielded his eyes, his vision impaired momentarily as he gazed towards where you were.

“Y/N!”

“Doyoung!”

You fumbled, crawling towards the sound of his voice, your eyesight still recovering from the light as your hand made contact with his. You let out a whine of relief, your emotions overwhelming you as tears fell down your face. You were human again. You clutched to him with all that you had, his arms found you, wrapping around your waist instantly. His lips found yours, kissing you with a sense of urgency as if his life depended on it.

Breathless you broke apart reluctantly, his hands cupping your face gently as he smiled down towards you, his eyes sparkling with happiness. You mirrored his actions, forgetting the world around you until someone cleared their throat.

“I’m sorry.” Doyoungs mother confessed, her hands toying with the edge of her shirt as she made her way towards you both “I see that I was wrong to tear you apart. It is clear that you love each other very much. Can you ever forgive me?”

She seemed unlike the woman you had known your whole life, the realization that she might lose her son finally allowing her to see the error of her ways. The thought had crossed your mind to not forgive her, to leave her to suffer the consequences but you couldn’t bring yourself to be that cruel. You squeezed Doyoungs hand gently, sending him a silent signal of forgiveness, knowing how much his mother truly meant to him.

“Of course we can.”

“Thank you.” Relief flooded her then as tears began to flow freely down her face, as she pulled you both in for a hug.

The sun was almost setting as you sat outside of your wooden cabin, the porch creaking under approaching feet. Doyoung smiled, carrying a hot chocolate for you both as you moved over slightly, allowing him to sit next to you. Leaning back into him you pulled the blanket over your lap, taking the mug from his hands as you made yourself comfortable once more. Doyoung kissed your head gently, as one hand brushed down your arm, resting on your growing stomach a moment later.

“I could spend forever out here. Just us.” He murmured.

“Don’t you mean the three of us?” You corrected cheekily.

“How could I forget our little cub?”

You rolled your eyes at his joke, elbowing him softly as you shook your head lightly. He chuckled, kissing you on the top of your head once more.

Although you had remained human since you mended things with his mother, and time had passed since your little escapade as a fox, you weren’t in a hurry to relive it, enjoying what life had to bring you and your growing family, just how you were.

Human.

#kim doyoung #doyoung #nct #doyoung fiction #doyoung imagine #doyoung scenario #nct fiction #nct imagine #nct scenario #frightful october #kpop #fiction #fluff #magic #spellbound

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machonachos · 5 years

Note

Tf happened between y'all???

Around September of last year, a few months after I had started talking to Sara, Jin began getting weirdly possessive of her. There’s more to it on Sara’s end, but I’m just gonna talk about what I personally saw and felt during this whole ordeal.

Before she had even moved here, she started hounding Sara about feeling “left out” and how she felt bad because Sara was spending more time with me. And that’s not a problem in and of itself. Sometimes when someone gets a new friend that you don’t know, you get a little insecure. I understand that. I reached out to her during that time, trying to be friends, trying to find any common ground so that we could talk too. Did it make a difference? Nope. Instead she started getting more and more demanding of Sara’s time. If Sara didn’t message her every day, multiple times a day, then Sara or I would receive a guilt-trippy message about how lonely she felt and how she had no one to talk to (which btw, was very untrue since she suddenly has all these friends coming out of the woodwork). It was incredibly stressful for us over here bc it seemed like no matter how much we tried to balance school/work/errands and talking to Jin, it was never enough for her. Even when we explained exactly what we were doing on the daily (ex: cleaning the garage, going the vet, exams and deadlines), she would still try and make us feel bad about not being able to message her. With Jin it’s always, “I understand, but–” And you wanna know what it always boiled down to? Her feelings being more important than ours.

We figured maybe it’d be better when she moved here because then it’d be easier to talk and we could actually go out and do things together. That was not the case. Up until now, she had been making vague posts about feeling sad and whatnot that we felt were related to the situation with us but we were ignoring them in favor of starting fresh. You wanna know what she did like the day after she got here? Another vague post. So obviously we knew she was writing about us. But it was early in the move, so an adjustment period is to be expected. She’d told Sara that she didn’t have a place to put her computer, so we wanted to do something nice for her and went halfies on a dresser/desk that we then hand-sanded and painted ourselves. Lotta money and weeks of effort went into making that gift for her. Did it make a difference? Nope. She was still complaining about us excluding her to other people.

We soon found out that it didn’t matter how hard we tried to make her feel welcome and included. I would try very hard to keep conversations going with the three of us but it was like pulling teeth. Jin always seemed disengaged and would give me very little to go off. Still, we tried. And yet, it was little more than a week after she had moved here when things got real bad. I remember the three of us were on the couch (she had this really bad habit of physically jamming herself between me and Sara whenever we were in the living room, would always end up partially sitting on my leg and forcing me to move away), just sitting and watching a vine compilation. No one was talking, Sara was working on a drawing and I was doing homework. And yet she still stormed off into her room because we weren’t talking to her like what??? We were busy! Like she could literally see with her own two eyes that we were busy but didn’t seem to matter, all that mattered was that we weren’t paying attention to her. She ended up sending me a message saying that she wanted to talk, so I went into the room and let her vent. I tried to comfort her, tried suggesting maybe we all do something with our characters together like an AU and that seemed to cheer her up. When we came out of the room to tell Sara, she was gone. After that, I didn’t see Sara for two entire days. She locked herself in her room for two whole days, because the whole atmosphere in the house with Jin was that bad. It’s not my place to talk about what Sara did in the time she was locked in her room, but understand this: when I say this situation caused people pain, I mean it. Y’all wanna know just how bad it was? Sara has mentioned to me that this whole thing with Jin was eerily similar to her relationship with her abusive mother. And you wanna know the real kicker? When confronted with this information, Jin literally admitted that she knew she was doing a lot of the same toxic things that Sara’s mom does!

This sort of emotional manipulation from Jin went on for months. Sara and I would try and talk to each other, only to have Jin sit there looking sad in an effort to make us feel bad. It got to the point that whenever she would come out of her room, Sara and I would just stop talking to each other altogether. And before anyone asks, “well why didn’t you tell her how you felt”, here’s the thing– WE DID. We had a series of house meeting where we would try to bring up all our concerns and issues but whenever we would tell Jin that something she was doing was hurting us, she would just blame it on depression (which Sara and I both struggle with and/or take medication for!) and then proceed to not change a single thing.

But because the wrongdoings here extend beyond just our personal relationship with her and are way too much for just one ask, I’m gonna summarize some of the many other things she did while she was here:

- Didn’t pay a single month of rent in the four months she lived here- Spent all her money on video games and con stuff in the first two weeks of living here so we ended up having to buy everything for her including groceries, meals when we went out, cat food, cat litter, etc.- Would use things like Sara’s makeup and my mugs without asking, take communal things into her room so we could never find them or use them- Continued to make “vague” posts that clearly alluded to living here with us and badmouth us to other people even while we tried to make her happy- Would pull Sara’s boyfriend aside just to complain about us while we were LITERALLY in the other room- Would constantly touch Sara and I even though we’d clearly stated that we didn’t like being touched- Only started looking for a job months after she had moved here and had been living for free and not contributing- Bailed on us during the con when she had promised that she was gonna help us run the booth- Since she only cared about characters, we tried to create a new story line that could include her but instead she just pulled Chris aside on Christmas to complain about us- Was never thankful for all the things we did for her, including: paying for housing and food, paying for her cat’s things, paying for her therapy, paying for bus rides and giving her rides to and from places, any gifts we got her, taking her to Disney Springs for something only she wanted to do. God, she didn’t even really look happy when Sara made those Sinner and Lucy body pillows. There was just no pleasing her. Nothing we did was ever good enough.

#the trash talks #jintaru

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chocobroobsession · 5 years

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I have to get this off my chest

Things are about to get very dark and very serious. I just have to get my thoughts out for my own benefit. Ignore this if you will. I didn’t want to share on my main blog because there are some people I’m not ready to share this story with just yet. I’ll go ahead and warn you of what’s ahead because I don’t want you to get triggered: rape, sexual assault, suicide, depression.

When I was 16, I was raped by my then boyfriend. We were on a date and he indicated that he wanted more from me physically and I panicked. I wasn’t ready for that. I remember saying several things: I’m not ready. I don’t think I want that. Not yet. Not now.

Well, he did it all anyway. Up until that point, I had always been such a fighter, but in that moment, I froze. I disassociated. I retreated inside of my own head and didn’t even put up a fight. I realize now that it probably lasted only a few minutes, but to me, it was hours. I was so scared. I was in pain.

Afterwards, I asked him to drive me home where I spent the rest of the night sobbing and trying to clean the feeling of him off of my skin. I rubbed myself raw in the shower the next morning, trying to scrub my entire body with the hottest water I could stand. I puked. I bawled.

When I went back to school on Monday, I thought that maybe if I could hide it, then no one would have to know. Instead, I was met with harsh stares and whispers. Turns out, he got to school before me and told everyone what happened. Only, he twisted the story. I was the goody-two-shoes who was a secret nymphomaniac. I practically begged him to fuck me. I did such kinky things.

I was mortified. He lied and yet, everyone believed him. When I tried to suggest otherwise, I was immediately dismissed. My own friends believed him. People I had known since kindergarten. I spent the rest of the week being called things such as slut, whore, skank, and nympho. All of the girls sneered at me while the guys high-fived him and then asked if I would be willing to fuck them too. It was awful. I had never felt so alone in my life. I didn’t want to tell my parents because if my own friends didn’t believe me, why would they? I just knew they’d find a way to blame me for it all anyway.

Then the thought hit me--what if I’m pregnant? I wasn’t on birth control. I had been a virgin and wasn’t sure if/when I would decide to become sexually active. I was only 16 after all. My parents didn’t believe in abortion, so if was pregnant, I knew they would force me to have the baby. Perhaps they wouldn’t make me keep it, but there was no way they’d let me end it. So that’s when I decided that if I showed signs of pregnancy, I was going to kill myself.

I was at peace with my decision. I had initially thought of killing myself to save myself the embarrassment of the situation, but then I talked myself out of it. I could survive. I could make it to graduation and then never see any of these horrible people again. But could I survive with that monster’s baby inside of me? The answer was no.

Now that the horrible part is out of the way, we can fast forward. Obviously, I didn’t end up pregnant and I didn’t commit suicide. For years, I was plagued by nightmares--reliving the situation over and over again. I had bouts of insomnia followed by frequent sleep paralysis. It was really really rough. I also tried telling myself that perhaps I brought the whole situation on myself. I did go out with him that night. I should have known better. I didn’t remember specifically saying “NO”, so therefore it didn’t count.

Well, now that I’m older and hopefully a bit wiser, I realize that this wasn’t the case. No means no. Not yet means no. I’m not sure means no. No can have many synonyms.

You can go into a situation expecting sex and then change your mind. You can always change your mind. Your partner has to respect that. Even if that partner is your boyfriend/girlfriend/best friend/fwb/spouse. You are not obligated to have sex. Ever. It’s always ultimately your decision and you always have the right to change your decisions. It’s not final; not set in stone.

It’s been 12 years since that happened to me. Over a decade. And it still haunts me sometimes. But I have grown. I have healed some. I have people who love and support me. I suffered from depression before it happened, and I still do, but now I’m on a good med that helps. I do what works for me.

Recently, I was chatting with a group of friends. One brought up a high profile celebrity sexual assault/rape case and really managed to piss me off with her views. Now, mind you, as an adult, I am trying to be open-minded to other people’s views, but this struck a nerve.

She was saying that people shouldn’t bring up things that happened decades ago and that they should just “get over themselves”. That didn’t sit well with me. I mean, the past is in the past, but trauma tends to not have an expiration date. I mentioned that as a survivor, I still get haunted by the past occasionally. The petty side of me could totally see why someone would try to ruin someone’s life decades after the fact. If the guy who did this to me was up for a position of power and I had the chance to possibly ruin him, would I do it? I don’t know. The petty side of me would probably jump at the chance. I mean, in a perfect world, people should have to atone for their wrongdoings, and he never did that.

Don’t get me wrong: I do believe people can change. The tiny optimistic part of me hopes that all people see their mistakes and work to correct them and be better people. Yes, even murderers and rapists. Obviously, that’s not always the case, but a girl can dream.

But when I confronted this friend about how her views might contribute to the toxic rape culture here and how it’s easier said than done when it comes to “getting over” traumatic things, she dismissed me. It hurt. I told her it was so bad back then that I nearly killed myself, and she dismissed that too. She berated me for it. Said that I should have known that nothing is worth killing myself over.

I mean, technically she’s not wrong, but you don’t just say that. To a teenager, life is nothing but school and your friends and your reputation among your peers. When that gets thrown off balance, it does seem like the world is ending. I mean, that is your world. For me personally, depression makes me selfish. All I can focus on is myself. How I hate myself. How other people make me feel awful. How I can’t handle life. So naturally, 16-year-old depressed me couldn’t see how taking my life would affect others. I see now that it wouldn’t have been worth it, but that’s now. That’s 12 years later. This is after seeing how my life improved. Until you experience it, you don’t know what it feels like. And even then, we all experience it differently. Believe me, I don’t wish it on anyone.

So this conversation just got me brooding and thinking. We all experience depression and trauma differently. Some of us are able to “get over it’ quickly and easily, but some of us take a long time to heal. Sometimes, we don’t experience complete healing. We struggle with it the rest of our lives. But no matter how you handle it, YOU ARE VALID. Now, is it healthy for you to dwell on the negativity constantly and let it consume you? Well, no. That may happen at first, but you do need to learn to handle things. Do what you need to do to healthily cope. Seek resources. Go to therapy. Get on medication. Spend time with friends and family. Do all of the above or none of the above. Do what works for you to heal and get on with your life. You may never “get over it”, but you can continue with your life and find a reason to live.

You may find times in your life that you need to pause. Maybe you need to grieve for a while. Maybe all you need is a helping hand. A shoulder to cry on. An ear to listen. Whatever you need, don’t let people tell you the “right way” to deal. It has taken me years to get to the point where I can mention what happened without full on sobbing. Yes, I still cry, and maybe once I year I have a nightmare, but for me personally, I found ways to heal. I’m scarred, sure, but I’m living life and trying to get better every day.

I’m not sure where I was going with all of this. I just had a jumble of thoughts in my head that I had to get out. If you stuck around this long, thanks. If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here. I can’t promise I’ll be able to help, but I’ll be able to listen. You’re not alone.

Please, don’t dismiss people who are dealing with grief, trauma, and/or depression. We all deal differently and at different paces. Just be a friend. Be an ally. Speak up for those who can’t or are too afraid to. Because of this toxic rape culture, there are people too afraid to speak up. I know this because I’m one of them. This is my first time publicly admitting anything. But it’s a step in my own healing process. We need more kindness in the world. Just be kind.

#personal #not ffxv related #tw rape #tw suicide #depression #you are stronger than you believe

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shafferangelina95 · 4 years

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saboddicted · 7 years

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Some thoughts on V’s route on Mystic Messenger (SPOILERS!)

So, heyyyyy... I haven’t used tumblr properly in a very long while. In fact I barely post here, all I do is casually reblog and like stuff. However, today was the day I finished V’s route in MysMes and I have a lot to say about it.

Ever since it came out that I was very excited to play it because V is my second favorite character alongside Jumin and after Seven. I couldn’t play it right away because work is a bitch and schedules are a bitch and MysMes requires some attention at specific hours so I waited until I was on vacation. When people began to head towards the juicy parts of the story I started to see so much hatred towards V that I was scared to play it but I was curious to know what the fuss was about. AND BOY WHAT A RIDE IT WAS. I took several screenshots to help me prove my points. Apologies if the order is all over the place, Tumblr isn’t the best for text + photo posts. Also yeah, sorry about my on-screen name of the game showing up.

First of all I want to begin by saying that I now see Rika with other eyes but I haven’t changed my opinion on V. To be fair, I never doubted that he truly cares about everyone. He might have hid a lot of shit but I sincerely doubt that his love and care towards the RFA was a charade. And that includes Rika.

Let us not forget that from the beggining that V seemed to feel regret for what happened to Rika as he knew she wasn’t dead and had instead formed the Mint Eye cult. This, honestly, was something that was obvious since the very first time I played this game.

Listen, I’m not here trying to full on defend V because I completely understand that he did shit wrong - very wrong - but please hear me out until the end. I’m making this as unbiased as possible.

I’d also like to point out that one of the very few people that ACTUALLY had some fair judgement in all of this was Jumin. He knows V better than anyone else in the RFA and besides he’s not really one to take sides unless it is appropriate.

He really didn’t.

Now, that’s not to say I agree with V’s method. Much like Rika, he also had the right intentions with the wrong method. I don’t agree that hiding secrets will make anything better but in V’s mind that was his way of helping the RFA so that they wouldn’t get hurt. I understand his POV. We as humans sometimes perceive that what seems right for us may not be right or harmless to others. V just wouldn’t say anything no matter what and instead was willing to sacrifice himself to save everyone - including poor MC who was tricked into thinking she was playing a game and talking to AIs like a dumbass - and that that sacrifice would sufice and put an end to everything.

Now, I can totally understand his reasoning. Again, his intentions were good. Still, that doesn't change the fact that he continued to lie about Rika's whereabouts - that she wasn't dead - and what she had truly become. Not to mention Saeran. We all know from Seven's route that Saeran (or Ray) is his twin brother. This was honestly the only thing that bothered me to the end. Once more he wanted to protect Seven from the truth and never - ever - told him that his brother was in a deplorable mental state and that he was, in fact, the hacker he was fighting the whole time and who's now - supposedly - dead. I'm holding on to the hope that he escaped, to be honest. If there is no body, there is no death!! That's what I've learned from One Piece.

I want to talk about Saeran/Ray for a bit now. He was the main reason why I despised Rika so much. To this day I still can't agree with her actions but I'll talk more about her after.

I'd like to take a trip to the past when Saeran first met V and Rika. Seven entrusted his precious twin brother to them and as far as I remember it was Rika who gave Saeran the hacking book. The Secret Ends also showed us what he suffered while he was in the Mint Eye and how his mind was bent and twisted into hate towards V but most importantly towards his own brother. The brother Saeran always admired and loved so much. As a result from all the drugs and elixirs, Saeran's mind was absolutely shattered. It broke my heart everytime I chatted with him and everytime he called. It was absolutely devastating.

Someone please hug this boy.

Ah, of course... How could I confuse the two...

Okay, I said this would be unbiased and I'm standing to that. The Mint Eye is awful and what Rika did to Saeran is unforgiving but V also did wrong by standing there and watching all of this happen all out of fear of hurting others and not being trusted anymore. Of course that lying and hiding stuff is what ultimately makes someone not trust other people but it was like he couldn't think of anything else. Fear had absolutely blinded him.

I know Seven would be very hurt if he found out but I'm also aware that he has the right to know. He SHOULD know. He should know what was going on with his brother and yet neither V nor Rika have told him a thing. V was an accomplice and that can be just as bad. Whether he was afraid or not he should've been the one stepping forward.

But know let's talk a bit about Rika. I changed my mind a lot about her on some things but the one thing that still bothers me is... how can people defend what she did? Don't try to give me the "she's mentally ill" bullshit because we all know that just because you suffer from depression and other sorts of complicated mental disorders that doesn't mean you'll go around creating a freaking religious cult that uses bizarre methods of "salvation" to make people "happy". Rika most likely suffers from a multiple personality disorder - it seemed very clear from her chats.

No, thanks.

With this I agree to some degree.

Listen. I understand. I'm not disregarding mental issues as I am very well aware that the struggle is hard. I'm not putting Rika down for that. In fact, throughout my whole playthrough I tried to be as comprehensive as I could without letting myself get fooled by her words. She needs help but she doesn't want it. She doesn't accept it. She thinks "our" method is wrong and hers is right. You can argue that they will also drug you at the hospital but I think it's slightly different from, um... torture.

I don't doubt that at some point she loved V as well as I don't doubt that V loved Rika back. And I don't wanna say I told you so, but... I told you so. I've always seen their relationship as toxic and obsessive from BOTH sides. V thought that the way he loved her was right because he did everything she wanted, because he was her sun (seriously, I can't hear the word taeyang anymore), because he has unconditional love and he would still love her even if she hurt him (V, really?). Rika however seemed to me like she was too scared, thinking she wasn't worthy of love. She wanted to test his love and as sickening as it is I know she was terrified. Her whole life Rika had been rejected. Her biological parents, her foster parents... She was just a little girl and no one showed her the slightest bit of love (not including Yoosung, of course). That was until V showed up with his "ideal love like the sun". To me it seems like Rika became addicted to it, to that love, to that attention... at the same time that she had a hard time believing that he loved her. Do you see my point here? Both were trying to prove something to each other and through each other. I can see why Cheritz stated point blank that the core of their relationship wasn't love. Still, I don't doubt at all that they cared about each other. But this kind of behavior... isn’t justifiable.

I hate the yandere face she does ;_;

However, I’d also like to point out something Vanderwood said.

Because, at the end of the day, V didn’t do anything to stop her and that was his biggest mistake.

Listen... Again, I understand that Rika was hurt and life has been nothing but absolute shit for her. I feel for her. But tell me. Is this right? Morals will always vary from person to person but let's put it simply: even if your ex-lover that left you because you denied medical and professional help and you felt hurt, like that person had never loved your "dark side", would you really go out of your way to make them a cripple and wish pain and agony upon them? Well then, Darth Vader - despite being mentally ill or not that would make you a bad person. You can't excuse EVERY ACTION on mental health. It'll only perpetuate the idea that mentally ill people should be disregarded as insane or evil. Rika suffers from severe depression and possible MPD but none of that justifies her actions - towards V, towards Saeran, towards the whole RFA, even towards herself. As much as I feel sorry for Rika nothing EVER justifies what she did. You might like and defend Rika but don't defend her wrongdoings. I understand. I adore V but I also can't defend everything he did. I'm not part of the "V did nothing wrong" group. No, he did a lot wrong. But you know what? Regret and admitting that you've fucked up are important steps towards change.

But Rika wasn’t ready to accept change.

Of course all of this was Rika's downfall as she couldn't accept that her ex-lover was moving on from her. Let's look at things objectively: their relationship was hurting both of them so why carry on? Why continue to be hurt and feel like garbage when you're 100% sure that it will never work out? I will say this again but their relationship was mostly toxic and obsessive and it wouldn't be fair for neither of them to continue living a lie. That being said, I also felt extremely sad for Rika. One of the last chats was absolutely heart-wrenching.

I can’t bring myself to hate Rika anymore but I do despise what she did. I think it’s no use hating on them and it makes me very sad that people genuinely wanted for V to die. How inhumane can you be? This might be a game but wishing upon anyone’s death is a bit much. Sure, I was pissy too when I played Secret End 1 and wanted Rika to go in V’s place but we need to open our eyes and try to understand. V has been punished enough. Rika has been punished enough. They messed up but they’ve already suffered the aftermath. Letting go of the past and get help is important.

Rika didn’t allow anyone to take her “devil” because she was “the darkness” thinking people should love and accept her darkness. While it is true that for you to know happiness you also need some sadness in your life, this was never a matter of not accepting as she was. She was afraid that people wouldn’t love her if she showed how broken she is and misunderstood everyone’s intentions. I’m glad Jumin and Yoosung worked it out and took her away so she can be treated. I don’t think she is completely bad but she’s done wrong. A lot. It was time for her to accept the help instead of blaming herself over and over again. It was just sad to watch.

Thank you, hero Yoosung

As for MC and V’s relationship I think it was well thought out. V wouldn’t be able to immediately love someone again but he began to change with her presence and her words. You might complain about MC having come to wreak havoc but considering everything that went down it was perfectly normal for V to feel attached to someone that genuinely cared for him and wasn’t there to test his love by hurting him (he almost went blind, he was drugged, stabbed... seriously, it’s a bit much). Aside from his mother (and Jumin in some form) V has never felt that warmth. The same could be said about Rika and that was perhaps why she felt like she could get closer to MC, thinking she could actually understand her. It’s complicated, really. Things like this do happen in real life and it’s no one’s fault, to be honest. Sometimes you fall out of love and find it within someone else. You might feel horrible at first but it’s your happiness that’s at stake.

I was glad that V only confessed to MC after coming back, two years later. It didn’t feel like his emotions were rushed and he had enough time to clear his head and start anew. Both V and Rika needed a new start, away from each other, and not make the same mistakes again. They were both in a bad place, mentally. It was as hard for V as it was for Rika. But toxic and abusive relationships.... are just a big no in my book.

TL;DR: I’m still hoping for V to eventually speak up about Saeran (and I hope he isn’t dead) because that is still bothering me. Nonetheless, I can’t bring myself to hate him. I wish people could give him the benefit of the doubt just as much as they give it to Rika. Please understand that he also suffered. He fucked up. Oh, he fucked up BIG TIME. Vanderwood told him he was just as bad as Rika and it is true. He covered up for her. Still, he has been punished enough. So has Rika. Both deserve a new chance at life and love. If it didn’t work out with each other than it’ll maybe work out with other people. Perhaps the writting could’ve been better and less repetitive but he isn’t a bad guy. And all things considered, Rika isn’t either.

And that is it, folks. I think there are screenshots I didn’t use because Tumblr is weird and places them out of order. Not to mention this post is already long enough. Probably no one is gonna read this but if you do, please keep your hateful opinions to yourself. I’d rather read some constructive criticism instead of “I HATE V!!! HE SHOULD DIE!!”. Please gtfo my blog if you’re thinking about commenting something like that. I won’t even accept such words about Rika.

Thanks for your time.

#mystic messenger #mysmes #mm #mymes #v #jihyun #kim #kim jihyun #another story #v's route #rika

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