#and im completely dissosciated all day
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tw vent
#i feel like im slowly going insane#it feels like theres multiple versions of my own personality inside me#i realised my mum is emotionally neglectful#im having fucking terrible mood swings every 2 minutes (im questioning BPD as well so thats fantastic) and im#in the worst depressive episode of my life is it ever going to fucking end#not to mention the heat is giving me extreme sensory issues#and i dont get to see my psychiatrist until fucking january#becuase i see him like once every 5 months#i feel like my only friends hate me even though i know they dont#my fp has another fp that isnt me and i know i should be happy for them but it drives me insane every time i remember they exist#and i cant help but feel like theyre lying every time they tell me they love me#and i feel so attention seeking for thinking that because why the fuck would they lie#and i feel shitty all the time but i have to mask it because if im just sad all the time the only people i have left will leave me#and im completely dissosciated all day#it feels like im drifting more apart from my body every day#the maladaptive daydreams are only getting worse and worse theyre always watching#and im never alone#so i can never unmask#and one of the only people i felt like i could confide in just moved out of our house#and i feel guilty whenever i talk to the other one
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