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#and im gonna be like. no im not a bear and have never and will never be a mlm again. i live here. lol.
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Its Snowing Like Its The End Of The World ⋆。°✩
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hypothesis: after everything, he comes back to see you do that to him? he’s been selfish all his life, and theres a reason for the action he made on your big day.
warnings: none really, self inflicted angst? unaliving, sad, english is not my second language sorry if this sucks, Satoru justifies his actions, the best-friends fall out but they love each other trope, this is mostly Satoru’s pov.
bye im never gonna write again after this
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Have you ever heard of the Japanese phrase “Yamato Nadeshiko”? Its a phrase used to describe the ideal Japanese woman.
Quiet, Meek, Timid, Calm, Nurturing, Bears a lot of children, Knows her place, Always respects her husband.
Some people argue that this type of girl has been going extinct in our day and age, it’s hard to find it. According to men, women are either super lenient, or a tough feminist that would brutally murder a man. And always choose the bear, perhaps.
Satoru Gojo hated that term. He thought what if he had his own type of ‘Yamato Nadeshiko’?
what if he didn’t want the one to be a timid girl that would submit to his every word? what if he wanted a little challenge? a headache? a thrill? something he would never expect?
There weren’t many options in Jujutsu Tech. Ugh. There was Shoko, but she’s a really good friend, and if he’s being honest, shes facing some major lesbian allegations in the school. Yikes. With who though?!?!?!
Obviously theres many other girls in the school, but none were worth Satoru’s time.
Then there was the Kyoto girls. Utahime, which was a mother fucking no. Mei Mei? she’s probably gonna be after his money, and they’d look related anyway; white hair n shit.
That scratches off all of the girls in Satoru’s list, mind list at least— he wants some love, real genuine love, lets be honest, hes fucking deprived. a virgin? maybe? maybe not? but deprived? absolutely.
..
Unless we mention one last girl. You. Satoru’s ultimate best friend, attached to the hip, a package deal. The type of friends where if one was absent the sensei would ask where the other was.
mhm, it was like that.
Suguru was obviously still his best friend too. But you? you were somethin’ else.
✧༺ ♡ ༻∞
“you ever think if meteors were actually made of cheese like in tom n jerry?” Satoru asks with a mouthful of nerd clusters in his mouth, it was his fifth pack but he burned through the calories like fire on paper.
You look at him. You’re so fed up with his dumb questions, for a guy that has to do fucking calculus in his head every time he uses his techniques, he sure was fucking dumb.
“they’re made of rocks.” you say flatly, continuing to crochet a little penguin for Shoko, she said she wanted an audience of crocheted animals to watch her as she dissects his friends. Yikes.
Satoru pouts, licking the sweetness off his lips as he stares at you, his glasses tipping down his nose. “what do you take me for? of course i knew that.” he scoffed.
“did you though?”
“did.”
“did not.”
“did.”
“did not.”
“did.”
“ugh, did n-“
he silences you by an ambush of kisses to your cheek, and a couple of head pats. “did!” he grinned, holding your face with one hand, both your poor cheeks were squished together. You wondered if this is what puffer fish feel like when humans poke them when they’re look all round n shit.
“real smooth, Sato.” you roll you eyes, looking off into the distance, your eyes catching a glimpse of a snowflake?
Its already snowing? what the hell?
“whatchu lookin at, hm?” he murmurs, taking his glasses off because as he always says, you were the only thing that didn’t overwhelm his eyes. “lemme see-“
“snowflake.” you mumbled.
“it’s august though..? is this effects of el niño or el niña?” he says, throwing a peach ring into his mouth.
You stare at him, like he just grew horns and a tail. “um.. no, that has to do with water temperature changing from japan’s oceans and south america’s.” you say.
“global warming?”
“Satoru.”
“what?”
“repeat that for me, please?”
“global warming.”
..
“oh, warming. hehe.. sorry.” He says, rubbing his neck before crinkling the plastic bag of the gummies in his hand.
“you know my mom always told me that when snow comes in the summer to tropical countries, it means the end of the world is near.” You say, stealing a peach ring from his mouth.
Its his turn to look at you like you grew two heads.
“that’s probably the dumbest shit i’ve ever heard, but ill slide it cuz i love you.” he says.
“tch, can’t speak your mind these days.” you mutter, and he smiles and lays his head on your lap, staring at the small snowflakes falling, and the shooting stars in the sky.
The silence was nice, never awkward between you two. You were as close as conjoined twins, yes i said it, forgive me. Maybe you were a little delusional and thought there was something more to it? you don’t know. You don’t want to know, its treading on thin ice.
Satoru was likely the only person you feel comfortable here with in the school, you left your clan— which was so far away, you left your home far away to pursue jujutsu. Your friends were cool, Shoko was very friendly, and you felt like you had a stable girlfriend here, Suguru was always friendly but its like conversations with him were so forced and short.
Satoru was always the one to like talking, eating, doing whatever came to his mind— you liked his sense of carelessness, someway it balanced out how grounded and reserved you were, gave you a breath of fresh air.
for him?
you grounded him, more than Suguru ever could, he felt like there was always this wall for him to lean on if he felt like he couldn’t stand anymore. All this bullshit of him having to keep calm and be the strongest was teetering him on the edge of losing it all. Alas, you were there, you are there.
hopefully this stays this way forever, right?
..right?
✧༺ ♡ ༻∞
where did any of this go wrong.
how did it go wrong?
he swears he never meant for the fallout to happen, shit just.. happens sometimes, a measly fight that made your ‘friendship’ fizzle. Disappear. Catch on flames the way Sodium did when it touched water. Not to mention, he was dealing with losing Suguru at the time, it was a lot for him to process..? One moment Suguru was fine.. then, he just flipped a switch.
Or maybe Satoru didn’t notice it.
Which makes it either; Suguru was a good liar, or Satoru was a shit friend.
He doesn’t want to think that he was a shit friend, and he doesn’t want to think Suguru had lied to him as well.
God this was all so frustrating.
His haori suddenly felt suffocating.
For an article of clothing that was meant to be very loose and baggy, Satoru felt strangled right now.
Blue eyes, raw and misty as he watched you stand with some snobby guy who was heir of his clan, you in your white shiromuku, looking so sweet and angelic.
He had been sealed for a while, only to come out and hear that you were getting married? where have you been all these years while plaguing his mind, why didn’t you tell him?
he supposes he knows why, but it still stings.
stings to see you wear your shiromuku next to a man that was supposed to be him.
his fist clenched, then unclenched. This wasn’t fair, did you forget everything that happened before you fell out? small kisses? little ways of saying i love you indirectly? was he not obvious with his love for you? moreover, were you lying? because theres no way on God’s green earth you were able to just move on so fast when he never did.
The sight in his eyes just fills him with rage, sadness, FOMO of something that was supposed to be his.
he lifts his fingers, aiming for your groom.
all sense of logic goes away as he murmurs the two words and a blast of purple rushes past everyone, people that were probably not important, not to him at least, and they get caught up in the crossfire before it finally lands on him.
and no longer was he your groom.
you don’t even get to see what happens as you fall down and hit your head on the concrete.
maybe you feel a hand touching you, you assume its your groom— you assume its someone— but the instinct in your gut tells you its someone else— and judging by that purple light—-
Satoru sighs, trying to wipe the stains of your no longer future husband’s blood off your shiromuku, even his blood stained you, it irked him.
“what were you up to, hm?” he whispered, though he knew you weren’t listening. His knuckles lingered on your cheek.
“couldn’t just sit and watch, my girl. Im sorry.” he whispered, genuine remorse in his voice— not for killing the guy, but because you got hurt in the process of his rash decision.
While he should be out there, fighting that monstrosity called Sukuna, he was here. Hes sorry, he really is, but he’s been selfless all his life— can’t he be selfish this one time? Or would it be the end of the world?
how ironic.
it is the end of the world. Sukuna’s out there ending lives like he was stepping on cockroaches; and the strongest sorcerer was here, hands stained with the blood of the man trying to marry his girl.
He knows he shouldn’t say shit like this, you guys haven’t talked in years— you moved to Kyoto just to not feel the pain of the fall out between you two.
But alas, you both loved each other. He hopes you still do— because you were here trying to get married while he was sealed away for a while.
maybe you didn’t know he was sealed.
maybe.
He feels something cold on his nose, and he touches it.
a snowflake, reminds him of that time you guys saw a meteor— then traces of snow though it was mid august. Maybe this was the universe’s sign that he did the right thing, to make things right, to take back what he desperately wanted.
He smiled a little to himself as he saw another snowflake land on your cheek, so he cradled you, gathering you in his arms as he walked away from the scene.
he sees the snow rapidly increasing and smiles.
“remember that time you told me about what your mama said?” he murmurs, holding you close, hoping you’re listening somewhere in there. “snow in summer means the end of the world.” he says, looking up at the sky.
Sukuna.
almost losing you.
half his friends dying.
his students in danger.
japan in danger.
“i guess its snowing like its the end of the world.” he murmurs, hoping you’d wake up and let him lean on you when he needed you most. which is now.
wake up.
“please.”
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ricky-mortis · 3 months
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Hatchetfield @femslashfortnight Day 6: Protect
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possamble · 3 months
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I'm not allowed to be on social media for more than two seconds today but I just wanted to say that Laios will absolutely have his own reaction to all this as someone who would die for Falin but has also imprinted on Marcille as his Emotional Support Comphet White Girl Not-Girlfriend along the way
#a little creature#sometimes i look at the way i want marcille to be the closest thing hes ever had to a girlfriend but in a 100% platonic way and im like#is this what they mean by queerplatonic or have i just never had a dude best friend who wasnt like. a super fruity gay twink#anyway its gonna be as hard on him as it is for us bc he loves them both so much#the most important women in his life bar none#marcille probably slapped him when she got back tho. like she just saw his face and all the misdirected anger at him 'taking falin' just#rose up and burst again#its ok tho. you know she immediately broke down crying in his arms again blubbering incoherently bc she felt bad but also shes still mad#and she just doesnt know what to do with herself#the hardest part about this fic is that like. there are SO many juicy things going on offscreen#but. i have to breathe deep and keep calm and let them happen out of falin's POV#the ryoko kui method. what happens in the story happens and what happens outside can be explored in extras if need be#edit: also just figured out why ive been chafing a *little* bit against ppl assuming that it's the fear of falin dying that motivated#marcille's denial of her feelings so far#bc it's technically true but something just didn't sit right and i didn't wanna say anything until i figured it out#in little creature she has in part already realized that falin's passing is going to hurt no matter what she does right now#bc she's already passed the threshold of preemptive grief and sealed her own fate by how much she cares about falin#so it's not really... about that as much as it would have been during the canon story#it's just that. to acknowledge that she has romantic feelings for falin means recontextualizing their relationship in a way where#she has been the one hopelessly chasing while falin didn't realize/ignored her for the most part#and she couldnt allow that to be true both bc she couldnt bear to make falin the 'villain' in her love story#and bc she subconsciously knew the scope of pain would be too much for her to handle#so now my problem is. how do i make that clear in the fic from falin's POV without getting too heavy handed about it
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littleseasalt · 1 year
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insaneduo breathe if you agree
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im finally going through my stuffed animals to choose which ones to donate (most of them. ive been putting this off for a long time ahaha sobs) and each webkinz i put in the box kills me inside
#THE GUILT IS EATING ME ALIVE#both a betrayal to them & my younger self#who would burst out sobbing at the mere notion of parting with a single one#and swore to themself that they'd never willingly say goodbye to any of their plushie friends#im trying to do it quickly and unemotionally but man. Man....#clinging to my mangled toothless plush like it has any life left in it#GODDDD AND ALL THE WEBKINZ#when i was little i fucking collected them. i was obsessed. id play the online game for hours and diligently add each toy i got#some of them im not sure i can part with...#like milk the cow... dinner the turkey... white fang the husky... orchard the dragon...#ice cream the polar bear... strawberryblast the horse... kevin the bloogaloo or whatever the fuck it is...#why yes i do still remember most of my stuffed animals' names. which is making this infinitely harder#'sorry lovemuffin. sorry ellie. sorry momma dolphin. sorry snakey' etc etc#im keeping the ones with the most emotional value#like High emotional value. devastation to say goodbye level value#this box is Not Small and its still gonna get filled up....#i havent donated or thrown away a single one in all of my years#eating glassssssss#absolutely unprompted#but it needs to be done!! i finally have a moving date! the uhaul will Be Here in like! just over two weeks!#and i've barely packed Anything!!! its crunch time babey!#its emotional turmoil of a different flavor babey!!!#now if yall will excuse me i will sit here and reminisce#of long past nights sneakily spent awake to play with my stuffed animals#oh the stories i would give them...#cooking shows... assassinations and resurrections... broken marriages.... betrayals...#white fang & milk you were my most iconic couple fr fr#badass lone wolf (husky) / easygoing sweetheart cow....#OHHHHH THIS IS KILLING ME ITS KILLING ME#gonna go purposefully choke on my leftovers i stg-
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cerealmonster15 · 3 months
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the block button isnt enough i need to set things on FIRE
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basu-shokikita · 11 months
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maybe i have not seen the content people complain about but when i see talks about the fandom infantilizing toki i'm confused cause like...didn't canon start that...with every passing season toki become more and more child-like until age regression was essentially confirmed in aotd...
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stinkrascal · 1 year
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rich ppl are so annoying like i cannot believe im forced to read the sentence "my familys not rich my dad only makes 200k a year" with my own two eyes
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kazieka · 1 year
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having a rough time in skyrim tonight boys
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dockaspbrak · 2 months
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Jobs for someone not cut out for real life but who excels at mimicry
#idfk#im like good at saying the right thing but i feel like in my heart i know#im a failure#i am not good at anything really in any stunning way. im ugly im hard to talk to#im good at liking many niches of music. im good at roleplay. im good at having fun sometimes#idk. i was so chipper last week#i feel like a pagliacci stupid clown whose life is in crumbles around him#i cant keep talking to people and seeing the contempt in their eyes when i fumble my words#i have a stutter now like. howd that happen i didnt when i was a kid#but a couple years ago it started and its been. worse in the last few months#im so like. i feel like such a failure#likea fake person who had so many opportunities to make my life real#pinocchioesque maybe#ughhh#im just feeling sorry for myself sorry guys#im trying to draw here at 1 am bc. i kinda drew something kinda nice the other night but#every compliment ive ever gotten feels unearned and like. a social lie#like imposter syndrome but im an imbecile for real and also the lamest person ever#i cant make friends. i seem to be annoying in an unnameable way to everyone who has ever met me but no one will have the decency to tell me#why#i have been longing for the past a bit lately too. nothing in particular though? just like.... how i felt about the future when i was young#and full of hope#i had a horrible childhood. i didnt enjoy being there and my dad always seemed preoccupied with the fact i would grow up and not want to#be his friend anymore?#but in an adult now and he seems to never have time for me#and he didnt back then either idk#i guess im sensitive to that. and i struggle myself#if smthing is transitory its unreliable and therefore i should wait it out#haha learned behavior!!! autism!!!! but god i feel so lonely and stupid. im gonna#draw my teddy bear giving me a hug
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opens-up-4-nobody · 8 months
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...
#im still procrastinating so bear with me#ive just been thinking abt something. like the idea of a support system#bc as a 1st year grad student ppl around me r like: it must be hard being away from ur support system or ive left my support system when i#moved halfway across the country. and like i dont really feel that way bc idk the idea of a support system is sorta odd to me#like for me i guess it would just b my parents who i kno love me but im just so weirdly asocial that i never really talk to them#like i hardly ever text them. we talk maybe every couple months. so like i guess i theoretically have support but its a bit abstract#and like i have friends i guess but again im a bit weird and dont really feel connected to ppl so i dont feel that close to anyone#surface level friendships i guess. i dunno. i just feel weird not not having a support system but also having it b hollow#i guess i cant feel it more now. like i feel like getting diagnosed as bip0lar made my problems seem more realized to my parents#like i dunno i just assumed they knew i was doing awful most of the time but maybe that wasn't the case#its such a weird thing to b diagnosed with. like the conotations feel a lot heavier and i feel like im not supposed to talk abt it to ppl#bc theyll think im unreliable or something. like it wouldnt b that big a deal if i was just depressed but the sometimes buring out of my#skin makes me somehow scarier. and i still feel conflicted bc i do have a bip0lar mood profile but i have very very high impulse control#and even when im going high my mind is still super rational about it. which seems weird bc low impulse control is common with#the diagnosis. its also y i dont fit an 4dhd profile. not that it really matters. i fit the criteria enough to be on the bip0lar spectrum#its not like someone's gonna come yell at me for not being bip0lar enough. i just feel odd about it is all#still feels fake i guess. hard to imagine feeling any different to how i feel now. which is weirdly stable. so i guess the meds r working#sigh... ok enough i need to go to sleep at 7pm so i can get up at like 2 to finish reading a paper. for some reason my god forsaken brain#works better in the early morning rip#unrelated
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butcharondir · 3 months
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I’m gonna be honest it’s an extremely validating time to have always thought the bear was pretty mid
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shokupanda · 4 months
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honestly when you followed me I was kinda shocked because your art style looks like something that would be extremely popular and I feel like you would have 10k followers I hope you become extremely popular some day
adsfhsdufhsdiofso thats so nice of you to say. no need to be shocked tho as i am just some guy. i think i only have like 200ish followers. maybe some day ill get there sdfjksdsfd
im taking a graphic design degree and let me tell you that my style does not translate well into live drawing and traditional realism watercolor paintings; impostor syndrome hits hard when all my classmates draw majestic riot games splash art type stuff
but reading nice comments abt my art on tumblr really helps a lot for when i get in a slump so i am very appreciative of them. i know i havent said much abt em but i really genuinely appreciate em so much jdskksd
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anywho yeah again thats very nice of you to say thamkye very much <33 !!! sorry for rambling ksfjdsd
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I've been watching videos from a clinical psychologist who specializes in mood disorders and anxiety, and it's been helpful so far. However I think what I'm getting is that I've spent so long socially isolated that I kind of have to exposure therapy my way back to comfort in new social situations. Which sucks. I've always been extroverted and have no issue talking to strangers but I'm back in this place where I'm just so out of practice that it feels scary.
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rpfisfine · 9 months
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as you probably know, the boyboy boys worked for the chaser in the past. there's also the chaser report podcast. aleksa is included in plenty of episodes, and overall it's a pretty fun political satire podcast. but anyways. there's one episode that is literally fucking haunting me and i have to share this burden with someone. the episode is "Happy Picnic Day!" from 12th of September 2021, and in it aleksa tells a story of how his dick got broken once & it's really graphic and quite brutal. it's also funny but... a fukcing nightmare. i cant bear this cross on my own anymore
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gibbearish · 9 months
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the thing with autism right. is i know if i was having a full mental health crisis what i would end up doing is going to the emergency room and being like "hello, my name is (x) birthday (y), um i was hoping to talk to you about potential mental health inpatient care? i'm currently having a mental health crisis and don't think i can be trusted on my own" like if there's one thing i can be sure will live on in me no matter how hard the brainworms try. is my fucking customer service voice
#like itll be busted as fuck because ill be freaking out but you bet ill be sobbing my way through verbally drafting an email#ive done it before‚ like im a frustrated crier and once i start crying i cant turn it off so ive had a couple times where i had a breakdown#at work‚ cried about it a lot‚ and my lead pulled me into a meeting room after i calmed down to check in#and as soon as i started talking it just started again so i had to be like 'sorry th-this is just something m-m-my bod-dy does‚ i-i'm calm#m-mentally but i just c-cant turn this-is off‚ just try to i-ignore HIC it and f-f-focus-s on the w-wwwords‚#(tired of crytyping so just mentally fill it in yourself in everything else i say)#n they offered me more time to chill but im like no really i genuinely am calm‚ i calm down wayyy before my body does its gonna#keep doing this on and off all day‚ it takes hours for it to fully calm down and is on a hair trigger the entire time#so thinking about this will make it kick back up again no matter what unless we talk tomorrow‚ so if youre ok with bearing with me then cool#and theyre like. dang ok and just focused on what i said#or much more recently i was talking to my roommate‚ stopped‚ held up a finger + stood there silently for ten seconds‚#then was like 'sorry about that‚ i think i have to throw up. excuse me for a moment. what was that? oh gotcha yeah i'll message you if i#need anything‚ thank you'#and just typing it out like that it sounds like i was fine and just saw it coming a ways away. however that is not the case#i had had my covid booster and some other vaccine earlier that day‚ lost 5 vials of blood‚ eaten Nothing‚ drank only#acidic-ass apple juice‚ and had just hit my vape too hard#keeping it in once it made its presence known was a feat of will the likes of which have never been seen before#and still my sentences prevail
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