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#and im good in the moment i can work through my own emotions but then i leave her room and the house and its just so sad
fagrights · 2 years
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today was so difficult and the thing is i dont think its going to get any easier any time soon
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star-girl69 · 9 months
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So It Goes…
Clarisse La Rue x Fem!AphroditeCabin!Reader
—-
sypnosis: the one day chiron decides to switch up the capture the flag teams, and everyone knows you’re clarisse’s weakness, In A Good Way sequel!!
i changed my theme it’s me tho promise
a/n: protective clarisse the love of my life i love you i do i think we should get married actually anyways this one is sooooooo i got to explore a more casual side of clar’s and reader’s relationship in this (for like a min) i hope you all enjoy!!
So It Goes… - Taylor Swift
warnings: soft clarisse my love, protective clarisse we KNOW how i feel abt her…., also slightly possessive clarisse i think i love you too, again clarisse gets a bit too into capture the flag, clarisse picks reader up which i KNOW is not inclusive (im literally plus-sized idk what the hell am i doing) but it was so good i couldn’t resist, she has like super strength probs so i’ll just believe (she literally could not pick me up i need to stop being delusional), swearing, violence, kissing, a bit suggestive but nothing crazy, tell me if i missed anything!!
—-
Clarisse’s bed is one of your favorite places. You’ve spent so many nights here, wrapped up in her arms, feeling like no one could touch you. And you’ve spent secret days with her hands on your waist, yours in her hair, lips pressed together so tight it’s like you were each other’s oxygen.
You love Clarisse’s bed. And you know Clarisse loves her bed too, seeing as it’s a huge source of pride for her- it’s the best bunk in the cabin, and she gets a major kick over the fact that you sleep here just as much as you sleep in your own cabin.
You’re sitting down, watching Clarisse pace back and forth, her spear in her hand.
“Clarisse,” you say. She brought you here just fo freak out. Now she won’t sit down and let you help her, and she wont just freaking listen. “Clarisse, baby, what’s wrong? Can you at least put your spear down so you don’t accidentally kill somebody? If you kill me with that I’m gonna come back and kill you.”
She stops for a moment and leans her spear up against the wall. You let out a sigh.
“Now just sit down-”
She resumes her pacing.
As much as you love just being in Clarisse’s presence, as much as you know you’re her rock, the only thing that keeps her tethered in the storm she constantly fights through, you need her to let you help her.
“Clarisse!” you stand up, placing your hands on her shoulders. “You’re freaking me out, okay? What happened? I-I’m sure we can fix it, I mean…” you rub your hands up and down your arms, which you know she likes, her muscles are one of her biggest sources of pride.
She sits down, letting you stand in between her legs, her hands moving to hold your hips.
“Sorry,” she mumbles. She’s not very good at handling her emotions, but she’s getting better, and at least she’s able to recognize and apologize when her emotions are hurting other people. Well, you, at least. She breathes out. “Chiron decided to switch the teams.”
And now she had to work with the Athena cabin? The Gods know after the Ares and Athena cabins have captained opposing teams for years, Chiron pretends there’s not, but everyone knows there’s a deep rivalry. More than just friendly competition.
“The Demeter cabin will be on the red team.”
“Okay,” you say, squeezing her shoulders. You aren’t really close with anyone from the Demeter cabin, it doesn’t really bother you much.
“And… the Aphrodite cabin will be on the blue team.”
“Oh.”
You’ve never not been on Clarisse’s team for capture the flag. Not only does the entire red team’s tactic rest on you using your charmspeak to protect the flag, but what the hell are you supposed to do fighting against Clarisse?
She wraps her arms around your waist, flopping back onto her bed and bringing you down on top of her.
“I know it’s all Annabeth and Luke behind this. I’m sure that little smartass has made up some sick plan to make me go insane.”
You scoff, planting your hands behind her head on the bed. “You’re the one who can actually fight. I’m, like, so bad it’s not even funny, Clar.”
“You beat me all the time,” she frowns.
And it’s true, you spar with her at least 3 or 4 times a week, and you win most of the those times. But Clarisse moves slower, she doesn’t hit as hard, she anticipates your next move and doesn’t block it so you can land a hit.
“We both know you let me win.”
“I like seeing you smile,” she says, her own matching smile on her face.
“Okay, you big romantic.” You let your hands slip, laying your head against her chest and your arms flat around her head. “It’s not that big of a deal, Clar. I’m sure it’ll be fine, then Chiron’ll probably switch them back.”
“Annabeth convinced him to do it. She has some sort of plan, Y/N, she does.”
“You’ve mentioned,” you hum. “Stop stressing. Nothing we can do about it.”
“Fine,” she hisses.
She wraps her arms around your waist and throws you to the side so you yelp, now she’s climbing on top of you, laying her head on your chest.
“It’s going to be the worst game of capture the flag in history, you know. I hope you’re happy, I don’t even know what I’m gonna do without you. I mean, I guess I could move that group in the west side to just south of the flag, so that’ll be a bit more for them to get through. Oh, I’ll stick that one good archer on the ground- no, no that wouldn’t work, I need him in the trees. But I’ll move his position-”
—-
You walk to the woods together. When it’s time to split up, Clarisse grabs you by your armor and points her finger into your chest.
“Clar, what the hell are you doing-”
“Don’t do anything I would do.”
“Okay, Clarisse,” you smile, blinking once to avoid rolling your eyes at her ridiculousness.
She smirks, her arm squeezing your waist. She pecks you on the lips before pulling away completely.
“Done making out?” Jackie asks, her and Tyla suddenly appearing next to you.
“It was one kiss, Jacks. Are you sure we have the same Mom?”
“No, honestly.”
You fall into step with the two of them, laughing as you make your way through the woods and to the edge of the river.
Chiron makes his usual speech, the conch sounds, and everyone starts moving around.
Annabeth finds the three of you soon after. Tyla and Jackie fall away, following your other siblings. Annabeth always has this calculating look on her face, like she knows something you don’t, a true child of Athena. You have to admit, she really is one of the smartest people you know.
“Annabeth,” you smile. “I guess you want me by the flag?”
“No, I debated that, but I decided against it.”
She smirks and looks at you before spinning around, pointing to Luke and his team members who are always in charge of getting the flag.
“You’ll be with Luke.”
You frown. “You do realize I have absolutely no skill in battle, right, Annabeth?”
“Yeah, but skill doesn’t matter when you have power. Power over someone.”
“Oh, okay. Who do you want me to charmspeak-”
“Charmspeak whoever you come across, but that’s not what I’m talking about. You have power over Clarisse. I know she’s defending the flag today, right?”
She looks at you sharply.
You smile. “Oh, I really don’t know. But if you say so, sure.”
She starts walking, you follow her.
“Clarisse doesn’t talk strategy to you? I mean, I talk Luke’s ear off.”
“Oh, no, she does, I just don’t really retain any of it.”
She huffs a small sound of laughter.
“I know she’ll be there,” she affirms.
“If you say so!” you say, all sing song, Luke smiling as he meets your eyes.
“Y/N! How’s it feel to finally be on the winning team?”
“I love being on the red team, thanks for asking.”
“Ha. You’re so funny, are you sure you’re not a child of Apollo?”
“Too beautiful,” you glide your hands down your face. “I get it from my godly mother.”
“Luke, do you know what you’re doing?” Annabeth asks.
“Yes ma’am.”
She smiles and walks away, talking to more people while you can faintly hear Clarisse shouting at people. With the change in tactic, you know she’s been slightly stressed, but she won’t allow herself to feel anything other than confidence, outwardly.
She still walks tall. She still grips her spear in her hand a little to tight. She’s a bit too greedy with the things that are hers, she grabs on a bit too tight, but you know it’s just because she’s scared. You like it.
If this were a regular game, you would probably be walking next to Clarisse right now, or kissing her goodbye while you follow Matty and everyone else to go protect the flag.
When you and Clarisse first started dating, she was slow to be so affectionate, but the more of her walls you started breaking down the more you found a complicated teenage girl who felt unloved, and had a lot of love to give too.
The more confident she became in your private relationship, the more she wanted everyone to know. It was her fatal flaw, pride, hubris. She wanted everyone to know she was yours and your were hers. She wanted everyone to be jealous.
“I’m so glad we don’t have to wear those horrible earplugs today. They always make me worried. Someone could be shouting a few feet away and none of us would hear.”
“Stop gloating, Luke.”
“I’m just expressing my gratitude, Y/N, is that not allowed?”
“I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”
“Oh, oh, I know. You’re sad, aren’t you?”
“Sad?” you snort.
“Yeah, sad. Sad you aren’t with Clarisse. You’re devastated, destroyed, wrecked.”
You put your hand on your sword. “Who are you… and what have you done with Luke Castellan? Luke doesn’t know that many words…”
He hits your shoulder. “Shut up, Y/N.”
—-
You’re walking through the woods.
Not sneaking around in stealth, not running, but walking.
You’ve come across a few of your former team members, but one of the blue team just tackles them and you tell them to turn around and count to 5,000.
For some reason, it’s worse than sitting by the rock, waiting for someone to make a play for the flag. At least at the rock you’re surrounded by all these people you know. You and Matty are usually talking, Marjorie sometimes joins, and you all have fun bullying Corey for that one time he didn’t see the blue team coming.
Luke’s voice drops to a whisper.
“Here’s your job. You can either, one, go make out with Clarisse in a corner, which shouldn’t be too hard-”
“Luke,” you hit his shoulder. He hisses.
“I’m joking, joking. Just keep her distracted, fight her, maybe pull your shirt down a bit? Oh, or I can just cut it so it’s a bit more revealing-”
“Luke, shut up or else I will make you.”
“It’s not a bad idea-”
“Luke!”
“Sh, sh,” he whispers. “Don’t be so loud, we’re almost to the flag. We’re going for stealth, okay?”
“Oh, really, I didn’t notice,” you deadpan. He looks around.
“Blue team, stealth mode, alright?”
Everyone nods. You roll your eyes. You miss the red team.
—-
After Luke gives you the ok, meaning the blue team has successfully surrounded the red team and the clearing, you take a step forward.
Annabeth was right. Clarisse is there.
It’s fitting. If you can’t be there, she would.
You look up at Corey, but he hasn’t noticed any of you yet. You frown, thinking about how he’s probably going to get beat up.
“Clarisse!” you shout. You watch everyone jump into defensive positions. She can’t see you yet, but she stares in the direction of your voice, her eyes squinting, smiling softly.
“Luke?” she shouts. “That you?”
You frown.
“What the hell?” you say, stepping forward. “You don’t recognize my voice? I thought that was really smart. Like, a cool way to reveal myself, I don’t know.”
You come into the clearing, sword by your side.
Clarisse’s smile drops.
“I-I- no, baby, I just wasn’t expecting Annabeth to send you here-”
“Do I really sound like Luke?”
“No,” she says, immediately. “You sound like an angel.
Matty laughs. Clarisse stabs his foot with the end of her spear. She smiles at you.
“Is Luke here though?” Marjorie asks, subtly trying to look through the trees.
“I don’t know.”
“Well, you do,” Matty snorts.
“You’re going to tell me though right, baby?” Clar smiles, stepping closer until she’s right in front of you.
“Obviously not, you didn’t recognize me. I’m, like, really hurt by that Clarisse-”
“Gods, Clarisse,” Matty shouts at the sky, laughing. You didn’t recognize her, and now we’re all fucked!”
“Shut the fuck up, Matty,” she says over her shoulder. She looks at you, smiling again, her hand reaching out to touch your face. “I’ll let you do that thing you’ve always wanted to do.”
You smile, your voice dropping to a whisper. “You’ll let me give you a makeover? Really?”
“Yes.” Her teeth grit, but she keeps smiling, her thumb rubbing your cheek.
“Hm, I don’t know,” you mutter, your eyes fixing on her spear when you suddenly reach forward, grabbing it from her hands and turning to run away.
The blue team emerges from the woods with war cries, swords start clashing, and it all happens so fast.
The plan was for you to grab her spear, make her chase you around the woods, and hopefully the blue team would be able to overpower the red team without her.
Instead, Clarisse kicks out her foot, tripping you. Then, she catches you and the spear in what you swear has to be a milisecond.
“Clarisse!” you shout, genuinely offended. She beat you so easily. It wasn’t even a fight. You didn’t even get the chance to run.
“Sorry, baby, it’s capture the flag!”
You about to start kicking like a wild animal when she suddenly lets you go. Luke is there, fighting her while you pick your sword up from the ground that fell in the commotion.
One of your team members dropped their helmet and you pick that up too.
You’re not that bad of a fighter, Clarisse just knows everything about you, you tell yourself. But your pride is slightly wounded and you want to prove to her, yourself, and everyone that you’re not just a weak Aphrodite kid or some poor thing that hangs off Clar’s arm.
You can hold your own.
You stick the helmet on and step into the fight. Someone groans and a sword comes wishing through the air, but you block it.
They swing again.
You block it.
You picked up things from Clarisse, and, besides, you weren’t just sparring for fun. She actually teaches you, better than the actual sword practice teacher if your biased opinion is to be trusted.
But you probably just feel that way because she rewards you with kisses.
It seems like you’re actually winning for a second, about to disarm him, when he seems to get fed up with fighting you and suddenly arcs hard over your head, making you lose your footing and letting him kick you.
You land on your back, groaning and trying to catch your breath.
“That was such a bitchy move,” you mumble. He leans over you, about to kick the sword out of your hand-
“I’m gonna fucking kill you, Samuel.”
She holds her spear right under his throat, and he finally seems to look at your face instead of just your blue helmet.
“Shit. Sorry. Sorry, Clarisse, I’m sorry.”
She looks like she’s about to kill him but she just pushes him away.
“I was winning,” you groan. “But then he kicked me.”
She kicks him as he walks away.
You expect her to tug you up and start lecturing you but instead she leans down and throws you over her shoulder.
“Wha- Clarisse!”
“That’s enough for you today,” she says, patting the back of your thigh.
“Clarisse, I swear to Hades, let me down!”
“One second,” she mumbles.
When she places you down on the ground again, you’re leaning against a tree. She grabs your hand, frowning at something.
It’s the smallest cut, barely there, but Clarisse of course acts like it’s the end of the world.
“Does it hurt?”
Your eyes fix on Luke behind her, stalking slowly towards her turned back.
“No, Clar, it’s fine. Now I-”
“I think you should go the nurse.”
Your mouth drops open. “Clarisse, it’s a paper cut!”
“And if it gets infected? Go away, Luke, I can hear you.”
He locks eyes with you but ultimately turns around with a very scared and annoyed look on his face.
“Now do you see why I was all messed up? I knew this was going to happen. You were gonna get hurt, and it was going to be my fault.”
You roll your eyes. “It’s not your fault, Clarisse-”
“But isn’t it? You would have been at the flag if Annabeth hadn’t known how much you mean to me. Instead, you were here. Instead, you were rushing off to go fight someone-”
“I’m not a damsel in distress, Clar!”
She presses her lips together.
“I can fight too. Not as good as you, but I can. I-I don’t want to be weak, I don’t want to rely on you for everything, it’s- it’s embarrassing.”
You didn’t even know you were feeling this way until you felt it. But it’s always been there, you guess. You always watch Clarisse spar and know she could never do anything like that with you. And you thought you were fine with it, and you are fine with having things that you like and things that she likes- but you don’t want to be so useless anymore.
She’s silent for a second.
“I- I get that. I do. But I just don’t know how to tell you I… I love you without showing it. I’m not good at saying it, you know that.”
“Clarisse,” you frown.
She puts her hands on your face.
“You are… the most precious thing in the world to me, Y/N. I really hope you know that.”
You wrap your arms around her neck, you can feel her heart thump from the fight.
“I know that, Clarisse. Of course I know that. You show me every day, I just- I just want to feel like my own person.”
She grips you tighter. “If it’ll make you happy, I’ll teach you to fight. But you have to do it how I say, and you can’t go off and do this-”
You pull back so you can make sure this is real.
“Really?” you smile.
“You have to listen to me, Y/N, and do it slowly, okay-”
“Yes, yes, yes, okay, yes,” you breathe, planting your hands on your face before kissing her. It’s slow, it’s sweet, it’s exactly what you think of when you think of her. You think of the side that’s yours, the side that only you can see.
You break it, leaning down to pick up her spear.
The red team is losing the fight behind you.
“Ok, go win capture the flag. And I’ll stay here. My hand does kinda hurt,” you mumble.
She smiles and kisses your cheek. “Not just a paper cut, huh?”
“Can I still give you a makeover?” you ask as she turns away.
“Maybe!”
—-
y/n: what why did you not recognize me ☹️☹️
clarisse, genuinely terrified: i have no idea what the hell you are talking about please please please don’t take away kissing privileges please please please
—-
taglist:
@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008
(pls ignore it’s for the acc aesthetics thank you!!)
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honeytonedhottie · 24 days
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starting ur healing journey⋆.ೃ࿔*:・🩹🎀
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healing is so important for us to function and have good quality of life. a lot of the time its easy to brush ur mental and emotional health underneath the rug but its just as important as ur physical health, if not more important. take care of urself…💬🎀
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SHADOW WORK ;
shadow work is a form of journalling that focuses on confronting our "shadows" or parts of us that we dont know well, to help kind of understand ourselves better, why we respond to certain situations the way we do etc. it rly dives into urself and ur shadows.
HOT TIP ; if u search shadow work prompts on pinterest they have some rly rly good prompts, thats where i get all of my prompts. i also have a couple posts that include shadow work prompts…💬🎀
the most common way i see people do shadow work, and the way i do it, is by using shadow work prompts and choosing a few that resonate with me. i'd answer the prompt in depth and talk about it in my journal. shadow work has helped me heal in so many ways and i highly recommend it if ur thinking about starting to do shadow work every now and then.
WHAT DO U STRUGGLE WITH ;
recognizing what triggers you and things that u struggle with help you to identify the underlying source. this is called being more aware of urself, so i challenge u to dig deeper into urself and try and find out what the BIG idea is.
some things to take note of when ur trying to identify the deeper reasons for ur behaviors, feelings etc is to look at…💬🎀
♡ what do i value
♡ what do i have the strongest opinions towards
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♡ what is something that i think of all the time/why do i think that all the time
by also looking at ur biggest fears, ur strongest opinions and ur deeply held values u can kind of understand what u value most and where ur insecurities and fears stem from. something that u can also look to is the things that u regret...
STRUGGLE WITH REGRET ;
first off, understand that u should recognize, reflect and then move on because living in a past moment is stagnant and u can't expect urself to heal if ur doing so. the only thing that u rly can do is heal from it and learn from whatever u regret so much so that then in the future u dont repeat those same things.
THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING GENTLE WITH URSELF ;
practice self compassion!! i swear everyone is so kind to literally everyone EXCEPT for themselves. give urself a break and humanize urself. u can do this by allowing urself to make mistakes and forcing urself out of the shame cycle. you are allowed to make mistakes cuz your human!! stop being so hard on urself.
furthermore remembering to be gentle with urself can cultivate a better relationship with self. acknowledge ur feelings and remember that whatever emotions ur feeling are totally normal and valid. doing things like…💬🎀
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♡ journalling and nurturing urself, ur being gentle with urself and to me thats rly important when embarking on ur self healing journey
WAYS TO SHOW URSELF THAT U CARE ;
♡ practicing forms of self care and grooming - ur showing urself the love that u deserve and that ur worth taking care of and putting in effort for
♡ being mindful of ur health through what u eat, how much u sleep etc
♡ walking away from toxic situations, people etc and protecting ur peace in doing so
♡ getting fresh air everyday and moving ur body
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♡ focus on urself and your needs before focusing on the needs of other people. you first.
SEEK AND YOU'LL FIND ;
lately most of my worries and the thing that has been putting the biggest strain on my mental health is things that i dont have the answer to. and by seeking help from some of my moots and my friends and searching on my own for answers that satisfied my curiosity i feel like i can live yk? cuz im constantly in a state of wondering and asking myself things that ik stress myself out and im working on breaking that cycle…💬🎀
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banj0possum · 1 year
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All You Need
Yandere! Bodyguard x Gn Reader
CW: obsessive behavior, minor stalking
i changed his name, his old name was doo doo, it was but a trick of the light
IM CHANGING HIS NAME AGAI-
♠️ Never before would you have ever considered hiring a bodyguard, you could defend yourself on your own just fine, but with all your rival manufacturers trying to get you out of the competition with assassinations and attempted kidnappings, you had no choice.
♠️ Feelings were a very rare thing for Baron, and he was fine with it, after all, emotions weren't a very helpful thing to have when your job is to kill people. There was no room for soft, sappy things like that when you lived in his side of the city.
♠️ But his cold and empty demeanor was somehow broken through the moment he saw you.
♠️ The smile you had on your face pierced his heart like cupid's arrow, it was like love at first sight for him.
♠️ He was just getting some rest after a particularly stressful job at a nearby bar when he heard the sweetest laughter from across the room.
♠️ There you were, the most beautiful person he's ever laid eyes upon. You were sitting with some other people, talking and drinking together like all the other patrons, but you stood out to him like a precious gem amongst stone.
♠️ It seemed as if the world slowed down when your eyes briefly met his.
♠️ He would now frequent that bar, learning what you like to order, when you get there and who you'd be with.
♠️ He's never talked to you, or even interacted with you in any way, but the feelings he had for you couldn't be denied. You're just too adorable!!
♠️ Through his connections, he found out you were a big name in weapons design. Unique and beautifully deadly instruments of death were created by your hands. Is it weird he finds that hot?
♠️ He'd start off making anonymous orders for weapons to you, it was normal to get one that was unnamed, so you thought nothing of it.
♠️ When he got his order, an intricately designed dagger, he couldn't bring himself to use it on anyone. This is a gift from his kind and talented darling! He couldn't just stab it into someone's chest like any other knife!
♠️ Yes, he has a little shrine of you.
♠️ When he heard you were hiring for a bodyguard, he was ecstatic! Finally, he can be with you for real! He had to stop himself from giggling like a little girl in front of his colleagues.
♠️ He applied for the job and immediately was given instructions to your address, he read it over and over again until it was engraved into his mind.
♠️ "Tomorrow, 5pm. 93 Lebberside Ave. Door with the hummingbird symbol on it in the alley. Do not be late."
♠️ When he arrived at the location, his heart was pounding under his cold expression. He knocked on the door and heard a muffled crash from inside with a small "Shit!" before the sound of multiple clicks of locks followed.
♠️ You pulled the door open and looked up at the man with dark eyes.
♠️ "Are you the applicant?"
♠️ "Y-yes.." God he stuttered, he hoped you couldn't see his flushed face.
♠️ "Good, come in." You pulled him in and swiftly locked the door again.
♠️ He looks around and it looked like a normal home, albeit a little cluttered. Boxes of files and paper were almost everywhere with takeout boxes and noodle cups on every surface of the house. Looks like you've been piled with work for a long time, poor thing, you really need him to take care of you don't you?
♠️ He sits down on the couch across from the little bean bag you were sitting on while reading a file you grabbed from the coffee table, god you're adorable..
♠️ "So you're..?"
♠️ "Baron..Baron Valencia.."
♠️ "Baron..."
♠️ Oh god say his name again please plea-
♠️ "Hm..your file's pretty good..and you don't have any recent dealings with my competitors? Interesting, looks like you have a good eye for quality weaponry huh?" You smile at his file before looking at him with fox eyes. The things he'd let you do to him...
♠️ "I just took a liking to your model's, they're more convenient and useful than others.." He says with a straight face.
♠️ You chuckle and ask him a few more questions before eventually moving on to small talk, he relished in the time you two spent together laughing at past experiences and jokes, it was like he's known you forever, it took every muscle in his body just to stop himself from smiling too much.
♠️ Eventually, you got up and patted his lap, putting down the file. "Well, Mr. Valencia, you're hired!" You say with a smile, the same smile that melted his heart the first time he saw you.
♠️ "Really?! I-I mean- thank you..Boss.."
♠️ He regains his calm composure after letting his voice go a little too high for his liking, any embarrassment he would've had in that situation was replaced with a warm, tingly feeling as you placed a hand on his shoulder, giggling.
♠️ After that, he'd watch you like a hawk, always being by your side ready to protect you, even if you’re just at home. You never know when someone will try to hurt you!
♠️ He'd be looming over you, giving any poor soul trying to talk to you a death stare until you introduced them as friends of yours, he's a giant guard dog basically.
♠️ His stoic expression would persist even when you make small talk with him all the time so casually. It was like he wasn't even your bodyguard sometimes, just a friend you were hanging out with.
♠️ He wasn't all intimidating and cold, he was also very concerned for your health...all the time, and can you blame him? You've been living off of takeout and instant noodles for months!
♠️ "Boss, I think you should eat a proper dinner and not fastfood again, I'll cook for you."
♠️ "Your work can wait, Boss. I'm sure your client can wait another day, please, you look tired."
♠️ It's all part of being your bodyguard! He has to keep you safe and healthy! He'd be happy to move in so he can protect you 24/7 if you'd let him.
♠️ He'd offer to help you clean your living space a little too, since you're so busy and all with work, he might as well make life easier for you. You said yes to get him to stop pestering you about it and when you came back to the living room, all the clutter and empty food containers were gone..as well as a few of your clothes..I guess he put them away as well, how nice of him.
♠️ If you confront him about this, he'd deny it all flushed in between stutters.
♠️ "Well Baron, it sounds to me like you want to be my househusband more than a bodyguard with all your offers for looking after me and such."
♠️ "Wh- Me? N-no! I'd never! I-I mean unless you'd want that..Not that I'm saying I want to! But well uhm- I-if you uh..uhm..I'll leave you alone to work..."
♠️ On days off a.k.a. days you forced him to take a break from taking care of you to get a bit of breathing space for yourself, he'd stalk your social medias or flat out stalk you. A true bodyguard never stops protecting their boss! He just wants to watch over you!
♠️ On the rare occasions that you're too deep in work and not getting a blink of sleep, he'd use his strong arms to pull you into bed and force you to rest. It wasn't long before he heard you softly snoring in his arms, you were exhausted from long days of working and delivering orders and evading taxes and such, no wonder you went out like a light.
♠️ He looked down at you as he sighed lovingly, placing a kiss on your head, whispering a soft "Goodnight, cariño.." Before drifting off to sleep himself.
♠️ "..Goodnight Baron.."
♠️ "B-Boss! Y-you heard that?!"
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starry-bi-sky · 7 months
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Hello Starry! I just had a thought about your Danyal al Ghul AU, and didn't have anyone else to share it with, so here we go:
If in this universe Bruce is Jewish, and Danny knows this(probably from a google search), he may wear a Star of David necklace to have a piece of his father with him at all times, since he knows he will never get to meet him. Or maybe the necklace sits in a box under a floorboard, because he can't stand the constant reminder of the father he'll never get to have. Maybe he observes Sam and her family celebrate Jewish holidays, or he learns how to by himself, but uses the time to mourn, instead of celebrate.
Anyways, hope all is well, and thank you for sharing your writing!
AAHHHH??? YOUR BRAIN??? Thank you!! I love sharing my writing, it soothes my need for attention lol. lmao, even. (Also how did you know i was thinking of my danyal al ghul au today -- i have an unfinished draft that i was thinking of delving into after my work meeting) also aahh!!!!!!!! im so happy that you wanted to share your thoughts with me about it <333
But dude BOTH of these ideas are soo?? GOOD and ANGSTY. I love angsty. Danny would for sure know if Bruce was Jewish, lil guy did an obsessive amount of research on his dad the moment he got his hands on a computer and figured out how they worked. Danny has like, a three inch thick folder almost on his father alone. Anything he could get his hands on, he's got it. That thickness is almost exclusively from his first like, six months in Amity Park. He keeps it in a box in his closet, along with his growing-folder on Damian and his achievements as Damian Wayne. He pages through it when he's feeling like mourning.
First off: him wearing a Star of David necklace to feel connected to Bruce. That is SO sad and I love it so much. He bought it with an allowance he'd been given when he first started living with the Fentons, he keeps it tucked under his shirt so nobody even knows he has it. Sam and Tucker don't until it slips out while he's hanging out with them and when they ask him about it, Danny very reluctantly tells them that his father is Jewish. When he's distracted, nervous, or sad, he fidgets with it. How this looks is that he looks like he's kinda rubbing his chest, like ungrasping and grasping something.
Second Off: him keeping it in a box under the floorboards. That is also so, so good. He's got it in the box along with a few other things that remind him of his father and Damian and his mother. He takes it out when he's feeling particularly lonely and homesick, it's a feeling that never really goes away even after five years of living in Amity Park. It's like a longing for something you'll never see again, but isn't that just how grief works? i can just imagine him sitting against the bed, late at night and back from patrol. He's still in his ghost form, his katana laid on the ground next to him, and his almost bird-like cape pooling down beside him as he cups the necklace in his hand like he's cradling an egg. Maybe he's bleeding from somewhere, and he's telling the necklace about patrol, murmured soft in Arabic.
When he finds out Sam is Jewish he probably, after much consideration, asks if he can observe their holidays -- after all, researching Jewish holidays only does so much. Sam agrees when he explains why, much to her parents chagrin, and he sometimes tags along. But once he gets an understanding of how they go, he starts doing it on his own. Somewhat. He celebrates with Sam for most of it, and then has some time to himself where he celebrates it on his own. So it's a little bit of both.
^^^ which brings me to thinking about my danyal snippet here where Sam is at a Wayne gala and tears into her parents over Danny in front of Bruce. And it's making me think of, with this idea in mind, Sam in a moment of emotional impulsivity, saying "I know that he wears a Star of David because his father is Jewish and he wants to be closer to him, because he loves him so very fucking much." And while saying that, briefly makes direct eye contact with Bruce as a way to tell him "I know you're his fucking dad. Look at the son you have left behind."
If only for the emotional gut punch that can leave Bruce with. 🥰
Thank you for the ask! I had a lot of fun responding to it, have a fantastic evening/day/night.
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kayewrite · 1 month
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Maybe this time
genre: exes to lovers (?)! angst with happy ending!! word count: 2.6k
Han Jisung x reader!! han x fem reader
wherein; Two old friends reunite and reminisce about their shared past. As they reconnect, they wonder if time can bridge the gap they left behind. Will their bond pick up where it left off, or will this meeting pave the way for a new chapter? maybe this time…
(i really want to write this before and glad i finally made it i hope you like it!!)
ps: im sorry i dont really make another part in my works because i want to leave it as open ending and let my readers continue the story on their own. but if i have time and decide to make, ill promise ill make one (especially 'want so bad')
but i hope you enjoy reading because i love making this fic. thank youu. love lots :) please love this as much i love it
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Life… is beautiful.
Even if it is full of pain, sadness, and hurt.
Even if it is full of tears, there are also moments of happiness, smiles, and gladness.
Life is a roller coaster. It lifts you up, then plunges you down, only to rise again. When you step into the cart for the first time, you know it will bring a whirlwind of emotions—fear, joy, anxiety. You know from the start what to expect, yet you still take the ride because deep down, you believe it will be worth it in the end.
You smile as you finish writing the last sentence in your book, the final period punctuating months of dedication and passion. It's done. After all the hard work, the late nights, and the self-doubt, it's finally finished.
You stand up, stretching your back with a satisfied sigh, and decide that a reward is in order. You change into your exercise outfit, slip on your earphones, and set the timer on your watch.
30 minutes.
You head out, jogging through the park outside your apartment. The weather is perfect—a gentle breeze, the sun filtering through the trees, a few people scattered around, minding their own business. You focus on your breathing, your feet hitting the pavement in a steady rhythm, the world around you fading into the background.
As you reach a shaded path, you feel the need to pause and catch your breath. You slow down, resting your hands on your knees. Suddenly, a hand lands on your shoulder, startling you.
You jump slightly, turning to see who it is. The surprise on your face deepens when you see him.
He’s breathless, his chest heaving as he holds up an index finger, gesturing for a moment of silence. “I’m… sorry,” he says between gasps. “Give me… one second… to catch my breath.”
You stand there, stunned. The face in front of you is one you haven't seen in years.
It’s Han—your first love.
“Nice to see you again,” he finally says, a grin spreading across his face.
You’re speechless for a moment, your mind racing to catch up. “Han… I can’t believe it’s you!” The shock wears off, replaced by a wave of warmth and nostalgia. You reach out and hug him, the familiar scent and feel of him bringing back a flood of memories.
He laughs, hugging you back and patting your shoulder. “I saw you while I was driving and I had to stop. I called out to you, but then I realized you had earphones on.” He chuckles, still slightly out of breath.
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry!” you exclaim, pulling back to look at him properly. “I’m so surprised to see you! How have you been?”
“I’m fine, doing well. It’s so good to see you again.”
“Me too!”
The moment feels surreal as if you’re in a dream. You find yourselves sitting in a cozy café, sipping your favorite strawberry latte while he enjoys a slice of red velvet cake. The scene feels like a perfect snapshot of your reunion, a peaceful moment in the midst of life’s chaos.
Han was your first love, the boy who held your hand when you were just 13. Back then, you both thought you understood love—childish dreams of the future, talking about getting married, and planning a life together as if you knew what it all meant.
You smile, lost in the memories of those innocent days.
-
“Let’s get married,” he had said one time, both of you sitting on a bench, holding hands.
You stopped munching on your favorite snack, looking at him. His eyes, filled with affection, sparkled like they held tiny beating hearts. If this were an animated movie, there would be hearts popping out of them.
“Yes, when we’re adults,” you replied with a smile, leaning your head on his shoulder.
“That’s a promise, okay?”
“Yeah, a promise.” And with that, you linked pinky fingers, sealing the promise with the innocent trust only kids have.
-
“How are you?” you ask now, your eyes locking with his. The happiness in his face is contagious.
“I’m doing well, healthy and living life to the fullest.” He smiles, and it’s the same smile you remember—genuine, warm, unchanging.
“I’m glad to hear that. Really,” you say, feeling the warmth of his presence spreading through you.
“I’m really glad to see you too. How about you?”
“I’m doing fine, healthy as well. Life hasn’t always been easy, but I’m at a point where I’m happy and living my best life.”
“Thank God for that,” he says, his voice full of sincerity.
Hearing those words from him makes you both sigh, a shared sense of relief washing over you.
“I saw you on TV. You’re a famous writer now. You don’t know how proud I am of you,” he says, his voice full of admiration. “I’m glad you achieved your dream.”
His words hit you deep, emotions welling up. “Thank you.”
Being a writer had always been your dream.
-
“When I grow up, I want to be a famous writer. I’ll write books that inspire people,” you had said, lying on the grass, looking up at the stars with Han beside you. You held your pen up like a magic wand, closing one eye as you imagined the future.
“And I hope you achieve that dream,” he had said, taking your hand and holding it tight.
You had smiled at his words, feeling the warmth of his support.
“What about you? What do you want to do when we grow up?” you asked, turning to look at him.
“Me?” He had looked at you, then back at the stars. “Aside from being with you, which is my ultimate dream, I want to become an engineer.”
“An engineer?”
“Yeah… I want to build a big house for us. A really big house.”
You had felt a pang of emotion then, knowing how much he longed for a family and a place to call home.
-
“And you, Han?” you ask now, watching as his smile grows even wider.
“I’m now a licensed engineer.”
“Oh my God, really?!” You can’t contain your excitement, jumping up from your seat to hug him again. “I’m so proud of you, Han! You finally achieved your dream.”
He laughs, happiness radiating from both of you as you hold each other.
“I’m proud of us,” he says, hugging you back tightly.
You pull away, a little embarrassed by your outburst. “I’m so sorry, I just got so happy to hear that, Han.” You sit back down, smiling shyly.
“It’s okay, I’m really happy for us too.”
Han goes on to tell you about his work. He’s the engineer responsible for a new apartment complex in the city. That’s why you crossed paths again. As he talks, you listen intently, your heart swelling with pride for the man he has become.
You nearly tear up as he shares his journey—the hardships, the trials, the long years of studying. He worked hard, from kindergarten all the way to college, never losing sight of his dream. And now, he’s living it.
“I’m finished talking about me. Now, let’s talk about you,” he says, turning the focus back to you.
You fall silent, memories flooding back. You remember the times when you almost gave up on your dream, when no one bought your books, and your work gathered dust on the shelves. You remember walking through bookstores, seeing your book in the corner, covers nearly torn from being ignored.
You remember the despair, the feeling that maybe your dream was just that—a dream. But then, something changed. A light entered your life, lifting you up, guiding you to where you are now. It was hard—so hard—but you persevered, and now you’re here, a successful author with stories that touch people’s hearts.
Tears fill your eyes as you tell him this, the emotions too strong to hold back.
“I’m sorry, I got carried away,” you laugh through the tears, wiping them with a tissue he hands you.
He’s still a gentleman, just like he always was.
“I’m glad for you,” he says softly.
“I’m glad for us,” you reply, feeling a profound connection to him, even after all these years.
-
“What will happen after we achieve our dreams?” you had asked him once, walking together along a tree-lined path. It was fall, and you kicked at the leaves, watching them swirl in the breeze.
“We’ll get married. I’ll buy you the shiniest ring in the world,” he had said, his voice full of determination.
“Really?”
“Yes.”
“Even if it’s not the shiniest ring in the world… I’ll still marry you.”
“For real?”
“Yes. You’re the only one I want to spend my life with. You’ll build our big house, and I’ll be the most famous writer in the world. We’ll be happy together, forever.”
“And you’ll still wear the shiniest ring in the world because that’s what you deserve,” he had said, holding your hand and kissing it gently.
“I love you,” you had mumbled, your heart full of emotion.
“I love you too.”
And under the falling leaves, you had kissed him for the first time.
-
The conversation between you both gradually trails off, leaving an unspoken tension hanging in the air. The café's ambient sounds—the quiet clinks of cups, the murmur of distant conversations—fade into the background. It feels as though the world outside has paused, allowing you both to be suspended in this fragile moment. You’re unsure if he remembers the past as vividly as you do, but meeting him again has stirred memories you had long buried. The memories of the happy moments you shared, the laughter, the dreams—it all comes rushing back with a bittersweet intensity.
There’s a question burning in your heart, one that you’ve held onto for years. But as you open your mouth to speak, the words falter on your lips. You hesitate, the weight of the past pressing down on you. You’re not sure if you should ask—if you even have the right to.
-
"Let’s break up," you had said, your voice trembling as you turned your back on him, trying to hold yourself together. The words tasted bitter, foreign, as they left your mouth.
"Why?" His voice had cracked, laced with confusion and desperation, forcing you to turn and face him. The sight of his pleading eyes, full of pain, made your resolve waver.
"I don’t know. I don’t deserve you. I don’t love you anymore…" The lie felt like a knife twisting in your chest, each word cutting deeper. You couldn’t look him in the eye, knowing that the truth would betray the facade you were trying to maintain. "And… we’re leaving. We won’t be coming back."
You forced the tears to stay at bay, but when you heard the way his voice cracked, the dam you had built burst. The tears you had tried so hard to hold back streamed down your face, unstoppable.
"Why would you do that to me?" he had asked, his voice barely above a whisper, full of hurt.
"I don’t know. You should find someone else to achieve your dreams with. I have things I need to focus on in my life too. I don’t want to spend my life tied to you," you had said, forcing yourself to face him as you delivered those final, hurtful words. The look in his eyes as he bowed his head, defeated, had nearly broken you.
He was only a boy then, but he had known what love was, what it meant to make someone a part of your life. You had been his life, his future, his everything. How could he continue when the one person he wanted to build that life with had just walked away?
And so, you had left him, without looking back, disappearing from his life as if you had never been a part of it.
-
But now, years later, here he is, sitting in front of you, smiling as if nothing had changed. He’s happy to see you, proud of the person you’ve become, despite the hurtful words you once threw at him. And that, more than anything, tears at your heart.
A single tear escapes your eye before you can stop it, and you quickly wipe it away, hoping he didn’t notice.
"So, do you have a family now?" The question slips out, carrying with it the years of wondering, of what-ifs.
"I…" he begins, but before he can finish, the door of the café chimes, and a beautiful woman walks in, her presence commanding attention. She makes her way to your table, and you watch as Han stands up to greet her, the fondness in his eyes unmistakable.
"Honey…" he says, and your heart skips a beat. The word echoes in your mind, heavy with implications.
Honey?
Confused, you watch as they hug each other warmly, the scene playing out before you like a slow-motion reel. It feels surreal, like you’re watching from a distance, even though you’re right there.
"Honey, this is my friend I told you about," Han says, introducing you with a smile. He then turns to you, his eyes meeting yours. "This is my fiancée."
Fiancée.
The word hits you like a punch to the gut, knocking the wind out of you. You force a smile, accepting her hand for a handshake, even as you feel a pang of pain in your heart
She sits down, joining your conversation with an easy grace, and you can’t help but notice how happy they are together. The way they look at each other, the subtle touches, the smiles—it’s clear that they’re deeply in love, a love that’s mutual and uncomplicated.
you look at the shiniest ring they were wearing.
You’re glad for Han. He deserves this happiness, this life he’s built. He’s finally living his dream, the dream that you once shared but were never meant to fulfill together. He’s found someone to continue that dream with, someone who will stand by his side as he builds the future you both once imagined.
The hurt lingers, but it’s softened by a genuine happiness for him. You’re happy that he’s happy, because that's what he deserve: happiness
Your thoughts are interrupted as the café owner sets your additional drinks down on the table. “Here’s your order,” he says. You murmur a soft thank you, still trying to process the whirlwind of emotions.
“No need to pay for your drinks,” the owner adds with a warm smile. “It’s on me.”
"No, I insist on paying for us," you replied, trying to cover up the flutter of in your chest.
"It's fine, babe," he said, chuckling as he gently pressed the matter.
"Really, it's okay," you laughed, looking between him and Han, who were both clearly confused by the exchange.
"Ah, by the way, I forgot to introduce you," you said, standing up with a smile. You gestured to the man beside you. "This is Hyunjin, the owner of the café."
"Hello, I'm Hyunjin," he said, extending his hand for a handshake. "I'm her boyfriend."
Han's eyes widened in surprise, his confusion evident as he looked between you and Hyunjin.
You laughed at Han's bewildered expression, and soon the table was filled with lighthearted laughter once again.
Life, you thought, was indeed full of surprises and plot twists. Just when you thought you knew how things would turn out, the unexpected happens.
But despite the twists and turns, one thing remains true: life is beautiful.
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kazehita · 6 months
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hi! i noticed your recent post recommending the fic natural satellite and i think i've noticed other isat fics around your blog too. because of that, i was wondering if you had a list of recommended isat fics! i will admit i am not someone who just peruses around on ao3 but i love reading about these characters so if you have any recs, i would greatly appreciate them! thanks and i hope you have a lovely day :3
I love ALL isat fic - each and every one is so special and wonderful - but if I listed the whole archive that wouldn't really help huh... So! Im going to list just some off the top of my head., this is in no way definitive. Isat spoilers ahead - get all the way through the game and the secret before proceeding.
Big recommendation list below:
Additionally, mind the tags for each fic - I wont be specifying the content warnings here.
(don't just read the complete ones!!! Incomplete fic is just as delightful I promise :3)
Complete: Bloom - Level99Eevee Most people know it, it sits at the top of the tag! It's my every wish fulfilled for post-cannon moments.
Memories of defeat - dirtbagtrashcat Stuff in and immediately after the loops, fantastic extrapolations!!!! Very much Loop <33 I find this very grounded and realistic!!!!
Emotion Sickness - dirtbagtrashcat Post cannon fun/trauma with siffrin and the gang.
Memories of Touch - dirtbagtrashcat look i just really like their work sjkdjkfjkasdf its all good go through their profile. This is Isa thoughts.
And if I were not myself, would this be easier? - rabbit_soup Post-game! I love how they flesh out the world.
The Understudy - kittyorange Suuuuch a loop fic I love it to bits. Post cannon loop and the gang stuff.
Star-Speckled Skin - Lora_Blackmane Funn angsty moment, title is very descriptive. Lives in my head rent free.
Clinging to dying embers - Coffeewolf67 Odile's perspective of sif using the dagger. appropriate content warnings apply :)
between the end and a new start - glowingjellyfishtreelights SICKFICCC I had a very funny experience with this one where due to memory mishaps I got to read it for the first time twice! Absolute banger.
What's in a name? - Raaj Explores siffrins love of plays. I have to regularly reread this for my brain to function.
Starstruck - Dusk_Illusionist Isa yearns. The fic. It rocks.
Saturn Devouring His Son (Time Choking on Stone Choking on Blood)- BasilPaste Post cannon moment... I like it...
(Why) you can't let them know by Mayasynth sasasap fic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i like it. i hold it. i like it. UGH theres more but I have already listed so many.. my other favorites... im so sorry.,.. i love you guys too... Incomplete:
How To Rest by rabbit_soup Sequel to "And if i were not myself, would this be easier?" Loop is here and I love violence.
TRY IT AGAIN, CHEATER! by discatded "[Loop returns to their own universe after everything. It's hard.]" - from the summary. Love it love it. I will never get enough of this premise.
To Extend our Reach to the Stars Above by Cinnamin_Is_a_Star "Sif if he was team rocket" and is so fun. Very excited to see this one pan out!
until we move on. by Anonymous (also known as lozy) LOOP MY BELOVED..! loop returns to their universe and promptly looses it like the universe intended. Cant get enough of it.
Natural Satellite by dirtbagtrashcat If a single fic makes me the Most insane its natural satellite if I'm honest.... like bro... It just gets right to me...
Sunder by Miranda_tries_their_best Post-cannon Loop fic!! They travel on their own for a bit (but not forever), and I love it dearly.
Face the Light by Kaimiiru Post-game, I hold it close to my heart.... Ah... It's so dear to me.
These next two are sloop so if that's not your thing you have been warned :]
raconte-moi qu’on puisse crier tout bas by bibliomaniac I'm holding this high above my head so everyone can see it the characterization is off the charts.
To Cut You Open With a Knife and Find Your Sacred Heart by Hexea_Art Changeling Loop fic!! What a fun concept. I am excited to see where it goes. yay! AGAIN... THERE ARE SO MANY I LOVE SO MUCH but im forcing myself not to look through the tag else I'd add everything. Honestly, I do recommend just launching right on into the ao3 tag for ISAT even if you aren't super familiar with ao3. Just be sure to filter out anything you don't want to see!
Consider this a good starting point ^^
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venusgirltarot · 1 year
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What Would An Album About You Sound Like?
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Disclaimer: This reading is for entertainment purposes only. Tarot readings are about possibilities based on your current energy. Energy is forever changing and nothing is set in stone. Always remember, you have your own free will to make whatever decision you feel is best.
Close your eyes, take a deep breath, envision the person you are thinking of and then choose the pile(s) you feel most drawn to.
Pile One
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Ahhh okay this is so cute. Im going to try to explain this as best as I can, Pile 1. So this seems like a concept album. The idea of the album (not the sound but idea ya know) reminds me of “Melodrama” by Lorde. I’ll leave a quote here for a better description but it’s like a concept album about a single night
“Melodrama is described as a loose concept album that explores the theme of solitude, in the framework of a single house party with the events and moods that entail it”
The album about you is similar in the sense that it’s a “loose concept album” but it’s about the writer seeing you. It’s like you’re at this party that the songwriter is also at and they’re obsessed from the moment they lay eyes on you. You’re like this beautiful unobtainable being to them and they want to get to know you so bad but they just can’t seem to talk to you. This could also progress to a one night stand that never progresses to more because of a lack of communication to this album is going through the writer meeting you and watching you throughout the night and then goes into their regrets and what they wish they would have said to you the next day, if that makes sense.
They see you at a party and think you’re so beautiful but can’t seem to find the words to tell you that. I keep hearing “I like the way my bedsheets look on your body” from “hello!” By role model. (I believe that’s the right song but lmk if it’s wrong so I can fix it!) and I keep being reminded of this musician on TikTok “Chappell Roan” and their song “Red Wine Supernova” I think that’s similar to what this album would sound like and it also fits the aesthetic. I highly recommend you listen to this song because it fits your album so perfectly. I tried to find a lyric that resonates the best to include but they all work so well that I couldn’t choose.
Despite this entire album being about only you and just one night leading into the next morning, it’s still so diverse (I hope that makes sense) like you’d think there’s only so many songs you could write about a 12ish hour time frame and one person but this writer has endless things to say about you and the night you met them. I could see one song having a feature and it’s later in the album somewhere between tracks 7-12 or so. The aesthetic of the album is very neon lights, the dance floor on prom night after everything has died down and people are starting to go home, slow, melodramatic and just really pretty. Again, I highly recommend you check out “Red Wine Supernova” because it fits so well.
Track list:
1. Pretty
2. Blooming
3. missing you
4. Shinning Eyes
5. Dying Slow
6. Party Streamers
7. Old Fashioned (Feat. Another Artist)
8. Starlight
9. Nova’s Surprise
10. Sunset
11. morning after
12. You
Pile Two
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Pile two, your album sounds like one written by Hozier, Noah Kahan or The Lumineers. It reminds me a lot of “Angela” by The Lumineers. Specifically the lyric “Angela, spent your whole life running away” and “vacancy, hotel room, lost in me, lost in you” it also reminds me of Ethel Cain in the sense that it’s a concept album about running away and starting a new life (but not as dark as ethel’s and with a much better outcome than she got. I heard “success story” it’s about leaving behind a difficult past and moving forward. There’s hope for the future in these songs, remembrance of the past and healing trauma. It’s a beautiful album with a good balance of different emotions. I could see this album coming with a short film or a series of music videos that piece together to tell a store. Similar to “III” by the Lumineers.
I keep hearing a few snippets from the deluxe version of “Stick Season” (that will be out June 9th 👀) like “Medicate meditate swear your soul to Jesus / Throw a punch fall in love give yourself a reason” or “we ain’t angry at you love, you’re the greatest thing we’ve lost” it’s such a beautiful album with so much soul and emotion.
I could see this album getting an acoustic live version that artists do sometimes like “Album, live from Wherever” you know? This album has very unique and catchy lyrics that stick with people, the type of lyrics people take and sell on things in their Etsy shop or use as a quote in their yearbook or put in their instagram bio. It almost feels like poetry. I also heard “escapism” this is the type of music that paints a picture and takes you somewhere else. This album will kind of chronologically tell a story about you moving forward and healing from trauma and finding a peaceful ending. Ending with a song like “Angelia”
Track list
1. movement
2. Adelaide’s Interlude
3. mother
4. farmhouse
5. leave me behind
6. baby blue
7. mustang
8. you’re gonna go far
9. more than this
10. peace
11. at your own pace
12. growing pains
13. at last
Pile Three
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I feel like this album has a soft rock sort of sound? Like hozier with a rockier edge if that makes sense? It reminds me of the way hozier sings about love. He sings about a very deep and impactful love and his writing his like poetry and I think that’s what an album about you would sound like. I think this album could be about the writer/musician fighting feelings for you because they’re focused on career or are just concerned about the outcome of the relationship. They might have a fear of falling or something.
However, the last card I pulled was the 10 of cups so the outcome is very good. I feel like this album is coming from a reflective place like this is after yourself and your spouse have settled down and had kids or pets or whatever you would like and your partner is looking back at your relationship from the very beginning up until now and writing about it.
I keep hearing “I’m in love with an emo girl” I don’t think this is what the album will sound like but maybe that’s your aesthetic/vibe? This might just be conformation for you. I also keep hearing that Shania Twain song “you’re still the one” this is the kind of album that fans would dissect like narrow down the time you met your person and talk about every lyric and how that lyric relates to you and your relationship etc. this album talks about how devoted and in love with you your person is but also talks about the (I heard “trials and tribulations”) it took for you two to get there so it may include religious reference. Like religion by Lana Del Rey or Don’t Blame Me by Taylor Swift where there’s this slight aspect of religion/devotion to your partner.
You hear a lot about how you have to actively choose your partner everyday to make a long term relationship work and this album would definitely delve into that a little. It could also be produced by you and your partner’s mutual friends or people who have been there since the beginning or very early in in your relationship. I think this would be a longer album and there’s definitely 18+ songs on there 👀
Track list
1. October
2. Cosmic
3. Full Moon
4. Bourbon Street
5. She’s All Over Me
6. Starla
7. The Empress
8. Diamond Eyes
9. Find More of Me
10. Dreamscape
11. Escapades
12. Midnight
13. You’re All I Need
14. Mirror
15. Apartment 32
16. Deep End
17. Eternity
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indigogvf · 10 months
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Bottled up
Summary: Jake comforts you after a bad week at work.
Warnings: Crying? There’s no others that I can think of, just lots of comfort and fluff.
Word count: 1279
AN: Thanks for helping me decide which fic to do on my poll!! Im still gonna do the other two at some point, but Jake comfort was the winner so you’re getting this one first😁
Also, my requests are open!! I’d love to hear any ideas.
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You just finished work, and you’re walking rather quickly to your car, whilst also desperately holding back tears to avoid your boss after he gave you a deadline for a presentation; a presentation he told you about yesterday. And the deadline is on Monday.
It’s Friday.
After the immense stress and pressure you’ve been holding in this week, it was safe to say you were now at your breaking point.
You practically threw yourself into your car as tears started streaming down your face, not wanting to catch the attention of any coworkers who might also be leaving. Everything that had even slightly upset or bothered you this week now seemed earth shattering as you finally let yourself feel all the emotions you’ve been pushing away. You were never one to talk about how you felt; you always felt as if no one really cared, or that you were being a burden. Everyone has their own stuff going on, why do they need yours to think about too?
You pulled up in the driveway, taking a deep breath before getting out of your car and making your way to the house. You walked in, chucking your keys on the side table and hanging your coat up. “Jake, I’m home.” You called out. You walked through to the kitchen to see where he was after you heard no response, and found him cutting up some type of vegetable, which you couldn’t quite see because he was in the way. “Hey. What are you making?” You questioned.
“Hey, honey. I’m making lasagna for dinner. I know it’s your favourite, and I wanted to do something nice for you.” He smiled. You took a deep breath, not wanting to start up the waterworks for the second time. He was so good to you.
“Oh. That’s very thoughtful of you, Jake. Thank you.” You returned his smile as he pulled you in for a sweet little kiss. “I’m gonna head upstairs and take a shower.” You began walking away,
“Wait!” He called, “How was work?”
You were really hoping you’d dodged that question.
“Uh.. yeah, it was fine.” You briskly walked away, desperately trying to avoid any further questions.
You failed.
“Just fine? Are you sure?” He paused for a moment, awaiting your response. When you hesitated, he continued. “You’ve been a little off with me this week.. have I done something wrong? Is there something going on elsewhere that’s bothering you?”
Fuck.
You hate this. You almost hate yourself for this. You’ve been pushing him away all week, attempting to avoid this exact conversation. As much as you want to just curl up on the couch with him and bathe in his love and affection, you knew yourself too well. You knew you’d crack and end up crying to him about how stressed you’ve been, which is exactly what you want to avoid. You hate that you’ve made him feel like he’s done something wrong. You can feel your lip quivering as you hold back your tears for the second time since you’ve come home. “I’m sorry. I.. I just-“ aaaand here it comes.
You put your head in your hands as you start bawling, trying to conceal the fact that you’re most definitely not okay. Although you think it’s fairly obvious, because Jake rushes over to you, embracing you in a tight hug as your body shakes against his. “Hey, it’s okay. Shhh. Just let it all out,” He says softly into your ear whilst gently stroking your hair. “Talk to me, baby. What’s going on?” He prods.
You collect yourself, taking deep breaths in an attempt to calm yourself enough to explain yourself. “I’m sorry for pushing you away all week. You didn’t do anything, I’ve just had a week from hell. I didn’t want to be a burden to you so I just kept it to myself, but I knew if you were to ask about my day, I’d crack.” You mumbled, feeling slightly ashamed because saying it out loud makes you feel slightly pathetic.
“What makes you think you can’t talk to me? You can always talk to me - about anything. I want to be there for you, honey. But I can’t if i don’t know when there’s something bothering you. Your problems will never burden me, I promise. Now, tell me what happened.” He reassures you, still giving gentle strokes across your hair.
You knew your thought process was slightly unnecessary when it came to Jake. He’s never made you feel like you can’t talk to him; in fact, you know you can talk to him. You assume it was from when you were a teenager and your two friends ignored you for being upset, and then proceeded to tell you it was draining to be around you. You’re glad that Jake shows you nothing of the sort.
“Well, on Monday, there was four clients who phoned and screamed at me down the phone for the way that their previous issues were handled. I didnt even deal with their original complaints. On Tuesday, my boss called me for a meeting about those calls and basically questioned my ability to do my job, despite the fact that I told him multiple times I didn’t handle their original complaints. On Wednesday, my coworker shouted at me in front of the entire office about how i didn’t send him some documents he needed, even though he didn’t tell me about them. On Thursday I split my coffee on my cream coloured jumper and had to walk around with a giant stain down my chest. Today, my boss gave me a deadline for a presentation. He told me about the presentation on Thursday, and the deadline is on Monday.” You took a breath, feeling like you were suffocating because of how quickly and passionately you listed all of the problems of the week.
“Oh, love. I’m sorry. You don’t deserve to be treated this way. You’re always working so hard, it’s a shame they can’t see that. Have you thought about working somewhere else? You deserve to be respected and seen for your work, and I don’t think you’re going to get that at this company.” He spoke in the most delicate voice.
You thought for a moment, contemplating his suggestion of getting a new job. “I don’t know. I hadn’t really thought about that; but I think you might be right.” You replied.
Jake pulled you closer to him, placing your head on his chest. “You know you can always talk to me, don’t you?” He asked.
“I do. I guess I just overthink it sometimes.” You said, reassuring him.
“Do you promise you’ll talk to me next time?” He held his pinky finger out.
“I pinky promise, Jake.” You shook his pinky as you smiled at each other.
He pulled you in for a gentle kiss to your lips and then planted kisses around your face, leaving an extra big one on your forehead. You giggled in response, already feeling much better.
“Why don’t we eat our lasagna and try to come up with some solutions that might make your work easier, and then cuddle on the couch with a movie on in the background, hm? That sound good, pretty girl?” He suggested.
“Mmm, that sounds amazing. Thank you, Jake. I love you.” You nuzzled your head into his chest. You could hear his heartbeat gently thumping in your ear.
“I love you too, sweetheart.” He placed a kiss on your head whilst simultaneously giving you a tight squeeze.
You loved him so much, it was almost too much. But you especially loved how loved he made you feel.
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savagewildnerness · 3 months
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At some point I am going to write more fully about this scene. But, for now I just want to articulate that this moment, right here is both exquisitely beautiful & simultaneously is my personal problem with S1E5 The Drop.
Lestat is a monstrous vampire, capable of extreme violence and intentional evil. He often tries to kill the evildoer, but he enjoys killing good people too - he enjoys taking life, in love. And when he is threatened, he can lash out. He can even hurt those he loves, though he feels deep shame afterwards.
But Louis... Louis. Lestat would die before he watched Louis die. It's important because it's part of the tension in the books: from the moment he first sees Louis, Lestat would die before he watched Louis die and he would die if Louis died. He would die to save Louis.
But Louis, in the first few books...
He stands by, passively and lets Claudia murder Lestat
He burns Lestat, impulsively, in fear
He leaves Lestat to rot in a swamp
He doesn't stop to listen to what Lestat needs to explain at the trial (Absolutely understandable, this one)
He visits Lestat (this meeting) when he is in such a broken place that Louis perceives it as Lestat suffering a slow, mortal-esque death, akin to old-age. Lestat begs Louis to stay and help him, and though Louis is moved, he leaves him and as he leaves him he lets us know that he thinks Lestat may never go outside again and may die and he may never see him ever again.
When Lestat becomes a human and begs Louis to turn him back into a vampire, Louis refuses - implying he absolutely never would do that, even if it meant watching Lestat die.
The whole tension, as I see it, between Lestat and Louis is centred around the fact that even if Lestat isn't sure how much Louis loves him, and Louis himself at first isn't sure... we, the readers can feel Louis loves Lestat, as Lestat loves Louis.
But, through the first few books, Louis would not sacrifice himself for Lestat as Lestat would for him. In fact he would actively think Lestat was going to die and would not do any thing to try to prevent it. This creates a tension as gradually we the reader and Louis himself begin to feel and Louis begins to know and show the depth of his love for Lestat too.
The Drop occurring (and I 100% believe it did occur on the show now) negates this aching emotion.
I am glad, though, that this scene, in S2E8 conveys this feeling from Lestat towards Louis now though. Lestat could not cope with Louis hurting himself. He could not bear it. No matter how far away he was, he would hold himself accountable for not protecting Louis. He holds himself even more accountable because Lestat knows how dangerous Armand is, of course.
This isn't articulated well, but I'm just reflecting on it and I guess I'm trying to work out my complicated feelings.
Incidentally, I am not saying that Louis ever loves Lestat less than Lestat loves Louis. I think Louis takes longer to know his own love and also it does grow gradually... but a lot of Louis' inaction and stance isn't from a lack of love towards Lestat. Rather it's from a combination of his own personality - Louis has a tendency towards actively desiring his own non-existence so it's sort of like he'd never take that chance away from anyone else. And in some of the above cases, Lestat has wronged him, or Louis thinks he has.
Lestat is an endurer... although he does seek to end himself as often as Louis, if not more often, he dwells less in the imagining of it and appears, at least as much as he shares it to either suddenly leap into it, or to fall into it through a deep depression.
It isn't that they don't have the same leanings, just their timescales and the way they get there are different.
But Lestat would never put Louis in (im)mortal danger: not even in his greatest rage. I cannot believe it. Though, on the TV show, I believe he did it. But book-Lestat would never.
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comfort hungry phoebe x reader
rpf!!!
pls dont be mean i dont claim to be a good writer i literally just need more boygenius content and took it into my own hands, im aware this isn’t good <3
this is also extremely self indulgent im chronically single and touch starved atm
phoebe was never one for emotions, perhaps stemming from her childhood years begging to be loved, or maybe her innate fear of vulnerability. she didn't like to dwell on the whys too much, her friends had accepted her odd ways and her ever revolving partners had managed, although not without difficulty. her favourite pet name for her ex was 'dude', a funny running joke at first but then a sad testament to the lack of intimacy within their relationship, and when her first girlfriend admitted that she loved her all phoebe could force out was an awkward smile and a quick 'you too'. it wasn't that she didn't feel, in fact the girl felt so much that it hurt, it pained her to see how her inability to express her emotions affected her relationships but it just never felt right.
that was until she met her girlfriend. phoebe was enamoured with you from the moment you were introduced after one of her shows by some mutual friends. your smile was what first attracted her to you, but it was your ability to make her feel completely comfortable with herself that made her stay. now, almost a year into your relationship phoebe couldn't get enough. she still wasn't big on being affectionate in public, but today she found herself craving your touch, catching your eye from across the room filled with people she couldn't care less about. she smiled as you recognised her discomfort, always in tune with what she needed, and made your way to her. linking your two hands together phoebe squeezed tight letting the sweet smell of your perfume distract her from the blurring noise of the conversation happening around her.
when a brief lull arose in the discussion, phoebe couldn't help but drag you away to a secluded corner. she hated these things, glorified industry networking parties, but ‘the record’ came out in a few months and their manager insisted her and the boys went so naturally you had to come along too. 'fuck's sake', phoebe muttered, resting her forehead on your shoulder, feeling you move as you giggled.
'phoebs, it's not that bad, just an hour or so left and we can leave, i promise', you ran your hands through the blondes hair, feeling her sigh before she lifted her head and held your gaze with wide eyes. she usually managed to push through these things on autopilot but she'd been having a bad few days which quickly turned into a bad week, falling back into her cruel cycle of self hatred and nihilistic thoughts and all she wanted to do was be at home cuddled up with maxine and of course, you.
wrapping her arms around your waist you couldn't help but notice that she was tugging you closer, pulling you into her despite the curious eyes that usually would send her back to her anti-pda ways. you too ignored the stares and melted into her warm body, sensing her need for comfort. 'i love you so much baby', you whispered, rubbing your thumb softly along the strip of skin where her shirt had separated from her trousers, 'we can go right now if you want, i know you're not feeling good.'
biting her lip in thought you could practically see the cogs working in her brain and she sighed before answering, 'no, i promised jb and lucy i would be here', you were about to interrupt her to tell her what she already knew, that her bandmates wouldn't care if she left and never came back once she was safe and feeling okay, but phoebe gave you a pleading look, 'i know, but i want to be here for them, they were so excited for this.'
'okay, but say the word and we'll leave' you hesitantly replied, wanting nothing more than to wrap phoebe up in your bed with a steaming cup of tea and a promise to never let anything hurt her. she looked at you with grateful eyes, lifting her head from where it had fallen on your shoulder to press her lips against yours. 
as if sensing they were being spoken about lucy and julien bounded over and took in the stance of their two friends, 'the heart eyes over here are insane’, joked julien, before throwing her own heart eyes at lucy who was instead focused on the way phoebe kept herself firmly in your hold, despite both of you expecting her to move away like she usually did. 
phoebe lightly smiled murmuring a quiet retort to her best friend, slipping effortlessly into their usual back and forth relationship. joining the conversation you tried to ignore the woman clinging to you, not wanting to bring attention to the fact that she was still attached to you but that became impossible when her hand grabbed yours and placed it on her back, looking at you with puppy dog eyes. you knew what she was looking for, and holding back a smile you dragged your nails lightly up and down her back the way she loved. she craned her neck to stare up at you and your cheeks flushed at the intense love in her eyes. 'i love you sweetheart, thank you for being here’, phoebe said, the earnestness in her voice making your heart squeeze. smiling like an idiot you kissed her forehead, continuing to rub her back.
'this is sickening phoebs', julien interrupted, a grin on her face, as much as she loved making fun of the blonde she also loved seeing phoebe so comfortable in her relationship for the first time. 'shut up' phoebe muttered, finally pulling away from you to hide her blushing face. you laughed at the look on the boys' faces as they finally saw this side of phoebe, the one which you gladly experienced every day. phoebe was so full of love. she had so much of it to give and you were on the lucky receiving end of it. 'i hate all of you guys' she said, finally emerging from behind her hands, her red cheeks apparent.
'no you dont', said lucy, shaking her head softly at their friend.
'no i dont'
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rahuratna · 3 months
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Hello hello! I have yet another musing (even though it isn’t one am) 🥹
There was one line Megumi said in season one that stood out to me: he will save people unequally based on his own conviction. Perhaps this was initially intended to be a foil for Yuji, but I ended up comparing it with Geto’s ideology. One acknowledges that not all of humanity is worth saving, that not all of the weak is necessarily innocent. And the other takes it to the extreme, that the weak are “polluting” the world, forcing sorcerers to become nothing more than disposable tools.
The reason I bring this up is because I couldn’t understand Geto for the life of me. Perhaps it is a good thing that I do not relate to a mass murderer LOL. Specifically it was his extremism that threw me off. Why didn’t he just leave like Nanami? Why not live off the grid and enjoy life doing whatever he wanted to do? Why put in so much effort in something that wasn’t even going to be realized in the first place?
So after reading up about it, I finally understood the back-to-back events that led him down that path. There’s a lot of analysis out there explaining it, and it made sense. That Geto will always be against non-sorcerers since he blames them for creating the curses causing sorcerers to have to sacrifice themselves. That there was no end goal, curses will never stop existing and sorcerers would continue to die in an endless cycle. He needed a reason to justify all the pain he had to go through.
But. I was not satisfied with that answer LOL. It seems almost TOO cold-hearted in a way. I mean, yes you need to be cold-hearted to be able to commit genocide, but Geto was not completely emotionless. Especially when he adopted the two girls, didn’t kill any of the Jujutsu High students, and was still able to smile in front of Satoru during his end…
Hm, I don’t think I’m very good at articulating this part of what I’m thinking. But it’s kind of like how I can understand the reasons why Eren killed 80% of the earth’s population. So the people that made up HIS world would be able to live better lives. I was able to understand this because we had followed his journey from the very beginning. We knew just how precious the reason he was fighting for was, and we also saw the exact world he envisioned. With Geto, we weren’t given the same opportunity to go in depth to what he valued.
The reason for Eren’s genocide was emotional: it was for his friends. Like we could say, “yeah, Eren killed almost all of humanity because they were opponents and would’ve destroyed Paradis,” but there’s another layer of meaning behind it ykwim. With Geto, framing his reason for genocide in order to get rid of all non-sorcerers just doesn’t seem to capture the full extent of his purpose. MAYBE IM JUST OVERTHINKING IT BUT MAYBE—
Perhaps what I was looking to hear were two things:
- why Geto thought the world would have looked like without non-sorcerers
- what happened during his isolation when Gojo and Geto were in their third years of high school
I vaguely remember this scene from the jjk movie where Geto went a bit batshit when he saw the Jujutsu working together to beat him. I think? Anyways, I think it revealed how Geto was fighting for sorcerers to be able to be together. But maybe he was also fighting for the relived memories when both Gojo and Geto were strong together, how they were able to overcome anything together. That was probably one of the happiest times in Geto’s life. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to happy anymore after he had changed… and Gojo too… so perhaps he was trying to revive the moments that made him the happiest… That’s wishful thinking on my part but these types of thoughts absolutely change my perception on Geto (I still don’t condone genocide 🫠).
Lastly, we were given a glimpse— a crumb, really— of the drift between Gojo and Geto. This part really is up for speculation because we did not watch what happened throughout their third year. The part that I haven’t really heard much about is loneliness. Maybe people describe Gojo’s loneliness but I haven’t heard much about Geto’s loneliness. The extent of it, the impact it had on his descension, was it preventable, and what would’ve changed if he wasn’t alone. That’s where the song “Akari” might help answer some questions but this ask is wayyyyyy too long.
Omg, I’m so sorry if I am incoherent because I’m definitely rambling! It started off with Gumi then extremism talks then Eren then… yeah… I suppose my thoughts about Geto have been unresolved for a long time (aka 3 days💀)
Hey! Another lovely ask, yay! So, I think that you expressed this whole analysis far better than I could. I think the comparison to Eren is very apt, considering that these are two characters who are shown to be empathetic, to feel strongly about issues that affect those they care about and take decisive action on those ideologies ...
... unfortunately ending up committing mass murder. Where Eren's character arc ended was a hard to swallow, but understandable one to me. Considering everything he'd experienced and the burden placed on his shoulders, Eren's choice carried a lot of weight. He socialized with his victims! People who would die horrific and violent deaths at his hands, and he FELT the weight of their lives. It broke something inside him, and once he made the decision, there was no backing down. It would have been a sacrifice poorly spent (in his mind) if he didn't follow through with those plans for a safer world for HIS people.
The word that comes to mind when I think of Geto is 'isolation', something that @pmpmyread got into really well in her analysis. The things that happened to him were terrible and sent him spiraling into deep depression, but a lot of his isolation was also self-imposed. Nothing is more insular than building your own cult, which looks down on regular humans as trash and regularly kills them without batting an eye.
You're absolutely right about us not seeing enough of Geto's thoughts as he spiraled further, making his genocidal tendencies more difficult to explain, considering who he was at the outset. However, I do believe the answer lies in the underlying reasons that cults can exist, in spite of human logic and free will.
Because people need a space where they belong.
Geto was suddenly in a very dark and lonely place, where he was beginning to realise that he hated humans for creating the necessity for sorcerers to risk their lives, and that there was no desire to remain a sorcerer either, as their world was equally driven by corrupt and soulless motivations. He carved a space for himself, and other curse users, where he would finally feel a little less isolated. At least, that's the impression I got. His group trusts him implicitly, and risk themselves for his ideals, so there must be some form of bond he has created, even if, like most cults, it stems from an 'us against them' ideology.
And apart from all of this, Geto still preserved some sense of humanity. This is the same man who showed genuine care for his group and who still smiled at Gojo before he died. He still recognized the strength and value of his enemies, because they had once been his friends, in another place where he had belonged, a long time ago.
Those are my thoughts, and I'll stop there because I can also ramble on and on and lose the plot, LOL. Please send more thoughts (whether 1 am or any other time) when they strike you like lightning! It feels like having a great cup of tea with a like mind and good friend!
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blingblong55 · 10 months
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The Great War - Simon Riley//Vladimir Makarov
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Creds to: @shadow0-1 for that Ghost work
Based on a request:
with the new mw3, lets do angst, something along the lines of "Somewhere in the haze, got a sense i've been betrayed" coming from us because 141 betrayed us horribly, which ended up in us getting tortured and then we pretennd its fine when it isnt. forget and forgive we lie and when we meet with Makarov, we tell them, 'oops sorry, forgot i was also a enemy at some point, guess its time to betray like real enemies do' and as we set Makarov free, we show that we have been working as his spy ever since they betrayed us. also can this be with a female reader and we also marry makarov behind their backs so thats why we betray so hard? i love u!
A/N: I forgot to add the angst....im so sorry pookies
Part 2
---- F!Reader, soldier!reader, enemy!reader, betrayal ----
It's been three months since Task Force 141 last saw you and how you betrayed them. Makarov and you have become the real-life Joker and Harley Quinn. In love with the other and maybe the love is toxic but the way he and you were so mental and in love made it all so good and bad. Everywhere you went, his hand held yours. It was romance for what poison could be. Deadly. One night, as Makarov and you celebrate your anniversary, he decides to spoil you. A private jet, a romantic location and a whole week in paradise. Well, that is the plan at least.
On the way there, the jet gets hit, Makarov rushes and puts a vest over you, his trusted gun and a kiss. "What are you doing?!" you frantically ask. "I'll meet you at our spot later my love," he lets go and then opens the door to the jet. The air tearing the door, he kisses you once more and as you look at him in fear and confusion, he gives you the illusion that he is right behind. Which he is not.
As you descend back to steady ground, the last person you ever thought wanted to see you, pulls a risky stunt. One he claims he has no idea he had the adrenaline for. Your body is so close to the ground as you watch your husband's jet explode. Ghost, holding you close as he deploys his parachute. "Vlad!" you call out with a tear-filled face. Ghost held you with all his mighty power until you two reached the grassy area. As he begins to unstrap, your hands hit his chest multiple times. Messy tears escape your face, "Why! why the hell did this happen?! What did you do!" Your hits became more defenceless as you cried and let out sobs of fear. Ghost wraps his arms around you.
In your memories, there he is, Vladimir and the children you were so set to want. Lazy Friday nights, the kids, Vladimir and you, a beautiful and complete family. It was like every puzzle was perfectly placed. Green lawn, sunny day, a puppy, giggles and small kisses. All gone in a matter of seconds.
"Shhh, shhh, I know, R/N, I know," his hand on your head, rubbing it as he kept you close to him. He was a trained soldier, after all, so he knew that occasionally he had to deal with people going through so many emotions. His gaze, why does it have to be this way? Why must he stare at you like this now?
No one knew Ghost had been on the lookout for you. That he went against every order given to him, that he broke an oath to hold you in arms this way as you cry. You pull away, your arms wrapping around your own body. Trying to find comfort in this moment. How did you lose him so easily? After so long of loving him in secret, he is gone this quickly. Like a cheap curse. But he was meant to be the lifelong curse. To ruin your very soul and taint you with his power of cruelness.
"God what were you even thinking?!" You push him., "You could've died, Simon. And then what?! huh!" You push him again and this time he grabs your arms. His stare lowered, eyes teared up as he confessed, "I did it for you," and now, he has become someone who he hates. Someone who betrayed the task force, someone who fucked it up and still it felt so right. Maybe you are a temptress, maybe you are the cruel one and not these men. Why must you make them love you so hard that they do this? What the hell do you even do now?
"I killed them all, please…please R/N, please listen to me." His voice more softer, gaze is so beautiful that it makes your heart flutter. "No, Simon-" "Listen to me this once. I know what I did is wrong but damn it, don't you feel it too? Don't you feel what I do? When I hear your voice, that sweet melody becomes my reason to wake up early, to smile, to even dare come back from operations. R/N, I know I'm not the best-looking guy in a crowd but…damn it, I would ruin everything for you."
His hand holds yours as he places it over his chest, "For years, so many years, this heart has belonged to just you." He whispers and holds you in for a kiss.
A gunshot.
One body to the floor and then darkness surrounded by crimson red.
No one ever said the joke or Harley Quinn had a good ending, guess it is the way this life goes.
[At the 141 base]
"Price, have yer seen Ghost?" Soap walks in after looking for his friend around the base for nearly an hour. "Should be in the shooting range," Price responds. "Think he mentioned something about going to the gym," Gaz mentions. "Not in any of those places." Soap says. The three men looked everywhere. Then, a soldier comes running in, "Someone stole the plans and mapping for the operation-" "and many of the files have been deleted, security footage is also gone." Another soldier comments. The three men have many possible answers and then two names come to mind. Makarov and yours.
"She fucking kidnapped him?!" Soap was furious and it was well known he hated you for what you did. Gaz, oh that man hated you for everything you were worth. In their books, you placed first place against Makarov and Graves. "That fucking bitch," Soap slams his fist on the table of Price's office.
As the men gather information and what else was taken, they realise a pattern here. After knowing who you were, your pattern who Vladimir is and his way of dealing with stuff, they understood the job was from someone on the inside and described you as someone who broke in. With contacts in many parts of the world, they looked for traces of him and traces of you.
You weren't even planning on this robbery to the base. Makarov wasn't either, so there is a third man. Alejandro and the rest of Los Vaqueros were told that they had someone else as a suspect. The devil herself, Valeria Garza. One look into her history and she was also not behind this mess. She was hunting down someone, yes but she didn't care for 141…yet.
After hours of exploring any enemy that would do this, it suddenly struck. And just as Gaz was about to give his shocking idea, Laswell walked in.
"Ghost wasn't kidnapped, the files were stolen but it was him…he is the man on the inside. This entire time, Ghost talked with Makarov, they weren't friends but allies. He is our next target," she slams his file on the table. "If we want Makarov, we take Ghost down first." "But how?" "We hurt the desire of his newfound criminal mind." "Which is?" "Grim. We know he was hurt when she revealed she was with Makarov, so it's time we take it old school and hurt her to get to him." Laswell looks over at Price, he nods and leans on over. "If we do this, I don't want casualties." "We got a deal?" "We do."
With that set, 141 found the targets of their next operation but this time, their calls had to be whispered. Two former members of their teams who knew them all too well, this has to be all a precise work of war. Simon 'Ghost' Riley, R/N 'Grim' Makarov, the new image of a ticking bomb. Their names are given to all the agents in the world. Hitmen, snipers and all countries, looking for two mad soldiers.
One was set to win. That win would set a new record for all criminals and good men. This is how modern warfare changes for the better and worse of us.
This is the great war.
A/N: i thought this was uploaded and it turns out it was in my drafts all along....i'm stupid
Tags: @actuallyhiswife @eicee @liyanahelena
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zoe-is-amazingg · 1 year
Text
You're just not my type Prt 3
Jock!Ethan Landry X Guitarist!F!Reader
W/C - 1.5 K
Summary - Ethan definitely has an idea about what you think about him
Warnings - just making out.
A/N - I'm so happy i'm trying to finish this rn. im also done wit the flashbacks sooo
Last part * Next part *
Request rules * Taglist request *
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You slowly walk into school, your headphones over your ears, it's been a week since you've last seen Bryce and you're living for it. You practically wanted nothing to do with him and recently, someone else was definitely trying to get in with you.
Ethan, that is.
He has been interacting with you all week, talking to you, flirting with you, he even has been asking you about your guitar. You weren't used to all this male attention surrounding you. Ethan's friends were slowly talking to you, finding you interesting and asking things about you too.
But out of all of them, Ethan is the one that you seem to like the most. He seems caring and kind and nice. He was cute as hell, but you really didn't want this to be another Bryce situation where he ends up being a dick to you in five days.
You're walking and just minding your own business when someone pulls off your headphones and you turn around. Of course, it was Ethan.
"Ethan give them back!" You huff as he puts them on his head. You really wanted to go to art early. He nods his head and hums to the tune of the song just a little bit before he takes them off and puts them around your neck.
"Is that...Your own music?" He asks you, looking deeper into your eyes than anyone else ever has before. He had this strong cologne on and on top of how his hair looked it the sun, it was intoxicating to you. You wanted to rip the varsity jacket off and kiss him.
"Uh, yes, actually. It's just something I've been working on for the moment, nothing too special." You state and He nods. He smirks at you and then steps back.
"That's really good," He states, and you blush, what the hell was happening to you. In a minute you'll start giggling like a fucking schoolgirl. "Can I meet you in the music room after this class. I really want to hear you play in person." You shake your head, and he sighs. You look into his eyes for a moment and groan. "Fuck it, sure, I'll see you there."
You slowly walk away and sigh as you put your headphones over your ears. You arrive at art, being a bit over 5 minutes late, you were never late and by the way everyone was looking at you, you could tell their thinking the same. You take your headphones off and take your seat at the back.
"Gentlemen and Gentlewoman, I really want this next piece for your portfolio to really tell me about your emotions." The teacher says. You weren't one for emotions really, but maybe these new feelings for your browned haired friend could bring out some good work. "I want this to reflect what the past month has been like in about three to five paintings, show me your emotions and the journey that your emotions go through."
"What the hell." You mumble. This month for you has been terrible, except for the past week. Your friend, Casey, looks at you. He was a great artist and an even better friend; he calls you constantly.
"I know you're not good with your emotions, but you should really use your feelings for Ethan. Their only blossoming into new for you, Bryce was a shit dude. Ethan seems like he's good for you. You seem happier." That was deep as hell. What the fuck.
You will admit to yourself that you do seem happier ever since Ethan's come into your life. So maybe that party was worth it. "I don't know, he asked me to meet him after this class to get him to watch me play. I don't know if I should go." You mumble.
"Y/N. I swear to god. If you don't go, you'll wish you did because I'll legit kill you." Casey says and you groan. "Fuck you, fuck it. I'll go!" You groan.
"Yessss! Please do! He loves you! It's so obvious." Casey rolls his eyes. You roll your eyes and get up and walk away. You put on your apron and grab 3 paint brushes, a cup of water and some light blue, pastel purple and pink and yellow. That's what you felt like doing at the time anyway
You go back to your desk and sit down. You place all the objects onto the table and slump back down into your seat. You turn around with your chair and grab a canvas and paint palette.
You turn back around to your desk and place the canvas and palette down. You squeeze a little bit of each color onto the palette and wet the smallest paint brush you grabbed. You dip it into the pink paint, someone in the corner of the classroom catches your eye. You slowly take off your headphones and put them into your bag.
"I'm here for Y/N." Ethan says. Your jaw drops. What the fuck is he doing? You don't come to his basketball practice. You were painting, you're not packing up because you just started. "Why does Y/N need to come with you?"
"Something important has come up and I really need her to come with me Mrs Warner." Ethan says. He looks at you and you shake your head. "Sure, go ahead, take Y/N. I'm not fighting with 21-year-old about a girl leaving class early."
"I'll pack up your stuff." Casey smirks at you. You grab your bag and leave with him. You both walk in silence for a moment, you're finding the right words because in your head, everything you wanted to say was mixed together.
"Where are we going?" You ask. He shakes his head at you and chuckles. Fuck. He is not taking you to the studio. "By the way your face expressions are, I think you just realized." He chuckles at you. You didn't want to play for him, you were planning on not showing up. But what's the worst that can happen?
You walk with him for a moment and then you both arrive at the studio. You really weren't keen on playing for him. He opens the door and there's your guitar, in all its beauty. "Y/N. Look, if you don't want to play for me, that's fine, I don't want you to feel like you have to." He says to you, clearly it was obvious that you were nervous to play infront of him.
"No, I want too. I just haven't really played my own music in front of someone before." You mutter, you both go inside the studio, and he closes the door. You pick up the electric guitar and set it up so it can make noise from the speakers. Ethan looks at you and slowly pulls the guitar out of your hands and lightly rests it on the wall.
He grabs your hands and looks at you directly into your eyes. He slowly rubs circles into the back of your hands. He drops onto his knees, and you can't even believe this is happening to you. "Are you okay?" He asks.
"Fine, fine. Don't worry about me." You whimper. He nods, clearly not convinced with your answer. He hands you back the guitar and you turn the volume up on it lightly. "Just pretend I'm not here."
You close your eyes. Fuck why is the this so damn scary. You start playing a little bit to see if it's tuned. It is and now you can't waste any more time. You slowly start with a hammer on and start playing. You play for about two minutes before you stop. Ethan's jaw is wide open and shocked.
"That's really fucking good." He mutters. You didn't know what to say. He did not just say your good. It felt like a praise. It was a praise. God, you wanted him so bad. You hand him the guitar. "Sit down, I'll give you a lesson." You say and his eyes light up. "Really?"
"Yes, now sit down before I change my mind." You sigh. He nods and sits down. The guitar is placed on his lap, and he picks it up the way you did before. He puts the strap over his shoulders. "What next ma'am?" He asks jokingly. You walk over and stand over him. You grab his hands and use your hands lead where his are going.
You let him play a little riff and then stop. He looks up at you and says "Fuck it, I cant pretend anymore." He mutters and you tilt your head.
What is he on about? Your thoughts are cut short when his lips connect with yours. Your lips move and fit perfectly together. He slides the guitar off him and places it onto the floor. You slowly move your body so you're standing basically on top of him. You slowly get pulled onto his lap and you hook your hands around his neck.
Someone opens the door, and you break the kiss to look at the person. It's the one person you did not want to talk too.
Bryce.
Taglist - @idky5
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astr0exe · 7 months
Text
✬ safe [ Simon Riley X transmasc reader ] ✬
CW / TW : tm!reader, dysphoria, pure fluff, slight angst(?) 629 words, this feels rlly long sorry:(
THIS IS MY FIRST TIME WRITING HURT/COMFORT!1!
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here I was, stood in front of my god forsaken mirror, my eyes glazed over with tears as I run your hands down my binded chest, the tears fall and I cant stop them. The binder isn’t doing its job.. its not working.. I still arent flat! Im not.. I look like a girl..
I’m so involved glaring at my reflection I don’t even notice when he walks in, my fiancé who also happens to be my superior, my Ghost.. My Simon, who’s been there for me. Always.
Even though I don’t notice him he instantly notices me, notices my tears, my hateful scowl. He knows what its like to not look how you wish you could, despite his scars showing his story, he will always be embarrassed by them.
I jump, a quiet yelp emitting from my throat. I gaze at him through the mirror not having the heart to turn around and face him, just letting his hands slip around my waist his calloused fingers dancing over my stomach, my head leans back against his shoulder our cheeks grazing softly, my tears ruining down my face as we just stand there, for what feels like hours, as I cry softly.
His words cut through my pounding heart and rapid breathing “hey lovie.. hey handsome.. you’re so strong.. so amazing.. My boy.. My fiancé…” he moves us to our bed as I try to stop my crying, but his words hit me more than I would like to admit, his words being exactly what I’ve needed to hear all day or honestly, longer than that.
As we lay facing each other, my hands clutching his shirt tightly like a terrified child needing comfort, because in this moment thats exactly what I need, comfort and Simon knows this perfectly, he always knows exactly what I need. I mumble a quiet an almost inaudible apology, my words dripping with emotion, feeling pathetic in the situation.
His eyes widen and his mouth opens.. then closes.. then opens again, and I wince, thinking I have done something wrong, I bury my face into his chest slightly ready for him to shout at me for saying sorry, even though I know he would never. He slowly and softly tilts my head up, so our eyes can meet and he can wipe away the residue of tears “Sweetheart.. look at me.. there we go.. good boy.” He sighs before speaking again.
“You.. are strong. You are more than capable.. You are handsome and pretty and amazing and so bloody intelligent.. But you should know… you are allowed to be vulnerable and have these feelings. I will always be here to support you, to keep you grounded and as happy as possible.” His words make me almost tear up again, my eyes glazing over with salty tears as I try to move even closer to Simon, his hand that has remained on my cheek softly thumbs away my tears again.. and again.. and again before they finally stopped falling.
My hands move to play with Simons dirty blonde hair, his ocean blue eyes staring into my own softly, showing his affections without the words. My eyes flutter shut as i murmur a quiet “i love you” towards Simon, the wave of exhaustion that hit me was obvious to Simon, who chuckled softly moving my hair away from my forehead so he can kiss it. His lips are slightly chapped against my skin, I can feel my eyes get heavy as I finally relax, ignoring all the horrible thoughts that plagued my mind before Simon silenced them. I fall asleep in my lovers arms, knowing I’m not only safe but also cared for, I know.. That I’m loved and I’m wanted.. My Simon Riley.. my protector
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vnti-vntiety-recs · 1 month
Note
Literally anything dom!renjun im so deprived of content of him i miss him sm 😔🫶
My first request! I hope you enjoy it, this was fun to write.
Unprotected sex, rated 18+, mature, MDNI 
SoftDom! Renjun x Reader (M)
While Renjun's kindness and caring nature made him an ideal boyfriend, there were moments when his overly sweet demeanor felt a bit too good to be true, leaving you to wonder if he was hiding his own feelings or frustrations beneath that perfect facade. You appreciated his thoughtfulness, yet it made you question whether he truly expressed his authentic self or if he felt the need to always please you. 
It became increasingly clear that Renjun was struggling with his emotions, as his tired sighs and the heavy thud of his bag told a different story from the warmth he greeted you with upon returning home. While those affectionate gestures made your heart swell, you couldn't shake the feeling that there was a deeper layer of frustration he was masking, leading you to wonder if he felt he had to put on a brave face for your sake instead of sharing his true feelings. This contrast between his internal struggles and his outward sweetness left you yearning to understand the person he was underneath the smiles, hoping to encourage him to open up about what was really troubling him.
You loved Renjun; you didn’t just seek out his smiles and cheerfulness—you craved the frowns and frustrations, too. You wanted him to be open with you, to share what was bothering him instead of hiding behind a cheerful façade. That night, as he sat beside you on the couch, you decided to gently ask how he was feeling, hoping to encourage him to share whatever was on his mind. You wanted him to know he could be honest with you always.
"Babe? How are you feeling?" you ask, noticing a rare flicker of irritation cross his face as he scans through an email. His brows furrow slightly, and for a moment, you sense the weight of his thoughts. The cheerful mask he usually wears seems to slip just a bit
"It's just work," he replies, his voice uncharacteristically flat. A flicker of hope ignites in you; maybe today you'll get a glimpse beneath his mask. It frustrates you that sometimes it feels like there are still pieces of him locked away, and you yearn to know everything about your boyfriend.
“You know I’m always here if you need to vent," you say gently, hoping he'll let you in on what’s really bothering him. He offers you a small smile but soon returns to his work, and you hesitate, feeling a pang of guilt for interrupting. Maybe now isn't the right time to press him about opening up, especially since he usually excels at communication. You don't want him to feel like he's doing something wrong, yet the urge to delve deeper into his thoughts tugs at you, leaving you restless with a desire to understand the layers of his world.
You sat across from Renjun in the living room, the warm light from the floor lamp casting soft shadows on his face. You could see the tension in his tightened jaw and the way his fingers drummed nervously on his mousepad. "Renjun," you began gently, "I know you’re feeling frustrated. Can you tell me what’s bothering you instead of keeping it inside?" 
“It's really nothing; I don't want to bother you,” he says, smiling tight. 
"Renjun, your not being honest. Why can't you just tell me” you push
“Why can't you drop it” he says back with an attitude you haven't heard before.
“Whatevers wrong, its ok!”
“Stop saying it's ok! Nothing is ok right now!” He looked up, surprise flickering in his eyes before they narrowed in contemplation. After a moment, he exhaled sharply, pushing his laptop off of his lap. "You want to see frustration?" he said, his voice rising. “Fine! I’m overwhelmed with work, and I feel like I’m drowning while everyone expects me to swim!” He ran a hand through his hair, the frustration spilling out as he got up off the couch to pace the small space. You watched him, your heart aching at his outburst but grateful he was finally letting you in. "I just hate feeling like this sometimes," he admitted, his voice softer now as he turned back to you. You nodded, reaching out to take his hand, offering the comfort he hadn’t realized he needed.
As you ran a soothing hand down Renjun's back, you could feel the tension slowly begin to dissipate. You cupped his cheek with your other hand, your thumb gently brushing over his skin. "I’m here. I’ll always be here," you reassured him, your voice soft and unwavering. "No matter how angry, frustrated, or irritated you get, I could never hate you. It's okay to feel like this, and it’s okay to let it out." Renjun nodded slowly, his breath shaky as he let your words sink in. A heavy sigh escaped him as the tension in his shoulders eased just a bit. He leaned into your touch, grateful for your warmth and understanding. 
He turned to kiss your palm softly, the warmth of his lips igniting a flutter in your chest, and then a beat later, he pressed a gentle kiss to your wrist. Grateful for your nightgown, you felt the heat of his kisses as they traveled from your wrist up your arm, each touch igniting a feverish anticipation in your skin. You shivered slightly when his lips brushed your shoulder, lingering just long enough to draw a soft gasp from you—an exquisite blend of pleasure and longing. He paused for a moment, his breath hot against your skin, and looked into your eyes, a mischief twinkling in his gaze, before resuming his exploration. With every kiss and every gentle nibble, he sent shockwaves of warmth coursing through you, pulling you deeper into the intoxicating current of the moment. Your heart raced as his hands whispered down the curve of your waist, drawing you closer—a magnetic pull that felt both thrilling and profoundly intimate.
Soon, you were stumbling toward your bedroom, the air thick with electricity and unspoken longing. You weren't sure how it had escalated so quickly, but you weren't about to complain. His kisses grew heavier and more desperate, each brush of his lips igniting a fire within you as he pulled you closer with an almost primal need. The way his fingers gripped your waist was raw and possessive, and the rough way he bit your lips sent delicious shivers coursing through you, intensifying your craving for more. You could sense the tension coiled within him—an urgency that made you hope he would unleash all that pent-up frustration on you.
“Don't hold back,” you mumble against his lips just before he pushes you backward onto the mattress. 
“Don’t think I can,” he replies, pulling his shirt over his head before discarding his sweats, leaving him only in boxers as he towers over you. You are captivated by the charged energy surrounding him, his gaze burning with a carnal intensity you've never witnessed before. A flicker of irritation flashes across his expression, and you realize you've been ogling for too long. He grips your thighs firmly, pulling you closer to the edge of the bed. “Is this how you help? By lying there and looking cute instead of getting naked? I think you might be adding to my frustrations, baby,” he frowns, the tension thickening with each passing heartbeat.
Snapping back to your senses, you quickly begin to strip off your clothes, all while Renjun strokes himself slowly, watching your every move with keen interest. You meet his gaze once you're undressed, silently seeking his approval. “That's a good girl,” he hisses through gritted teeth, gripping the base of his cock as his eyes darken with desire. “That's my good baby.” The condescending tone in his voice sends a thrill down your spine; he'd never spoken to you like this before, and you were relishing every second of it. You could feel the slickness between your thighs—a clear sign of how much his words affected you. Locking eyes with Renjun, the tension in the air was palpable; you both knew this twist in your dynamic was thrilling. Though he worried his display of dominance might make you uncomfortable, you were eager to surrender to him tonight, ready to give him everything he desired.
"All yours, Injunnie," you tease, your hand trailing down his chest before you bring it to your own body. Dipping lower, your fingers brush against your clit as you gather your slick. You spread it, ready for him, your confidence shining through. "I can handle it."
You see the way his last bit of resolve breaks as his hands explore your body, pulling you into a heated kiss. You can feel the way he ruts harshly against you, the tip of his dick catching against your clit. Each time he presses against you, the sensation drives you wild. You can't help it; you slide a shaky hand between you, feeling him slip inside, eliciting a sound from him that’s a mix of a growl and a moan. "Fuck,” he hisses. He seats himself deep inside before pulling out slowly. Sitting up, he locks eyes with you as he begins to thrust back into you; He drives into you over and over again. Soon hes chest to chest with you, one arm wrapped around your waist while his hand grips your ass, nails sure to leave a cresent shape mark when hes done with you. Each thrust would have pushed you up the bed if it wasn't for his death grip keeping you in place. Your moans of pleasure fill the air, especially when he nibbles on your neck and you can't help the way your body tenses up as you cum all over him. “Just a little more,” he murmurs, sensing your heightened sensitivity. He sits up again and grabs at your hips, pulling you back into him as he grinds in deep before cumming inside of you. 
Both of you are heaving by the time it’s over, the intensity of the moment hanging in the air like a last breath; it feels as if you watched the demon that had possessed your boyfriend slip away in real time. “Oh shit,” he mutters in shock, his gaze sweeping over your disheveled appearance, and without missing a beat, he adds, “Let me help clean you up.” He rushes out of the room, returning moments later with a warm towel, ready to offer comfort amid the chaos.
After the cleanup, you both settle into the warmth of your bed, the weight of the earlier chaos slowly lifting as you look up at him, your eyes searching for reassurance. “Promise not to hold anything in anymore?” you ask softly, hoping for an honest answer. His gaze meets yours, sincerity etched on his features as he replies, 
“I promise. I wasn’t too rough, was I?” he asks, concern flickering in his eyes. 
“Honestly, you could have been a bit rougher,” you reply playfully, sparking a lighthearted chuckle from him. “
There’s a lot more I have to learn about you,” he says, his tone teasing yet genuine. You smile up at him, warmth spreading in your chest as you respond, 
“We have all the time in the world.” 
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