#and is like “i wonder what this is hmmm” and plugs it into his computer | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

writteninkat · 3 years

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Kitten | Nanami x Reader

summary: Nanami smiles, manhandling you to flip you around. His gold plated name on your neck glistens under the red light. He parts your legs, watching as your cunt oozes out greedy amounts of slick.

word count: 2.8k

warnings: name calling (kitten, daddy), clit slapping, ass slapping, deep throating

a/n: here's a little gift to all my Nanami sinners out there lmao

<500 follower event>

Nanami noticed that you've been ordering online too much already. Just this week he found eight average sized boxes from kittenbasics. Were you planning on getting a cat?

Today has been very tiring for him. Not only has he been stabbed on his side but he also came home to an empty apartment. You had sent him a message saying you were going out with some friends tonight.

Just as he was about to close the door behind him, something caught his eye. He turns to his side and sees three more brown boxes on the floor. Frowning, he picks them up, already knowing they're uour orders. He takes them to the kitchen counter, setting them on it as he grabs a quick glass of water for himself.

As he gulps the water down, his eyes doesn't look away from the packages, curiosity getting the best of him when he sets the empty glass down and walks towards the boxes.

What shit had you been buying online that it has you glued on your computer screen almost every night?

He reads the package's description, frowning when it doesn't explain the contents inside the box. Only your address, name and contact number. Did she buy this from somewhere illegal or something?

He takes a small fruit knife from one of the drawers, pushing the blade through the packaging tape and swiftly running it across the box, cutting the tape open. He proceeds to cut the redt of the sides, softly placing the knife on the counter when he's finished.

Long, slender fingers open the covers of the box and digging through the packing peanuts, looking for the item. Alas, the pads of his thumbs and index fingers touch a velvet-like box. Nanami takes it out, furrowing his brows when he reads the intricate cursive writing on the top of the box.

Kitten basics.

He opens the box slowly, careful as to not damage what was inside. The product his gaze sat on had his heart dropping to his stomach. On a silk-covered miniature pillow inside the box rests a pink collar with his name, Nanami, sculpted in uppercase letters in gold. He takes the collar out, his member already stirring in his pants as he runs his thumb across his name.

A smirk tickles at his lips as his eyes move towards the other two boxes. After opening them both, he finds that one box had cat ears and knee socks in it while the other had a butt plug in a form of a cat's tail.

You definitely knew Nanami likes cats. And you definitely knew he loved it when she begged for him.

You come home to a dark apartment. Guessing your husband hasn't come home yet, you kick off your shoes rather drunkenly, stumbling your way to the kitchen where you gulped down a glass of water. You turn off the lights after placing the glass on the sink.

You stumble your way to your shared bedroom, furrowing your brows when you see that your led lights have been turned on and your actual lights off. Your eyes scan at the items on the bed; cat ears, a cat's tail buttplug, and- your eyes widen at the sight of the special pink chocker with your husband's gold plated name on it.

You feel strong arms wrap around your waist, pulling you back to his body as he breathes into your ear. "I was wondering what you've been buying online since I've been receiving many packages throughout the week." He runs his hand down your side, fingers teasing the hem of your short, black, bodycon dress.

"Care to explain what these are, kitten?" He whispers into your ear, fingers hooking under your dress, pulling it up to reveal the pink lacy thong you have on. "Leaving the house with such lewd underwear on? Were you planning on showing this to someone else?" He asks, pressing two fingers against your cunt. You press your thighs together as you shake your head, "No, daddy. All of you." You moan loudly, letting him push you on the bed.

"If you won't explain to me what these are..." Nanami picks up the buttplug, shoving it in your mouth before pushing you to lay on your back. He pulls your legs up, slender fingers hooking themselves onto your panties, pulling them down. He brings your underwear to his nose and he closes his eyes, unshamedly breathing in your scent as he looks down on you.

He pulls the buttplug out of your mouth, pressing it against your hole, teasing you. You bite your lip in anticipation, closing your eyes as you feel the plug slowly enter your ass.

"Sit up." You follow his command, pulling your legs back to sit on your heels. He takes the cat ears, putting them on you before taking the collar in his hands. "Why'd you buy this one specifically? Hmm? Kitten?" He asks, padding his thumb over your lower lip.

"Cause I belong to you." You answer, your tingue slipping out of your mouth as you sucked on his thumb, your eyes looking up at him as you hallowed your cheeks, showing him exactly how you'd suck his dick.

He growls, pushing you back down on the bed. He takes the collar, quickly putting it around your neck. He takes his time appreciating the masterpiece that is you, on his bed like this, all for him.

Slowly, he slips your dress off of you, skilfully unhooking your bra with one hand as he peppers sweet kisses all over your neck and chest, slowly traveling them down your breasts. He plays with your nipples with his tongue as his fingers twist and tug at your other one.

His tongue laps up your hardened nipples, taking them in between his terth before sucking red and purple splotches all over your soft skin. Slowly he gets up, pulling you along with him. He sits back on the bed and pushes you down onto the floor where you kneel obediently for him.

Nanami unbuckles his belt, taking it off of the hoops of his pants. He takes your hands, placing them on your back and using the belt to keep them there. He looks at you with such lust-filled eyes, his thumb playing with your lower lip.

"Put that mouth to good use, kitten." He says, leaning back as he lets you do what he asked. You look down at his pants, still buttoned and zipped up, however on the side you could see just how hard he currently is.

You lick on your lips, swallowing as you bite on his pants, undoing the button of his pants. You tug on it, pushing the button back with your tongue to take it out of the hole. You then continue to bite the zipper, your nose poking on his pelvis as you pull the zipper downwards.

You didn't want to wait any longer, you buried your face on the area where the zipper exposed your husband's boxer briefs, inhaking his musky sent as you lapped your tongue on his clothed and erected cock.

"Mmmmm so impatient I see. You want daddy's cock that bad, hmmm?" He teases, his voice so low you feel your cunt clench around your slick and nothing else. You nod your head, looking up at him with meedy eyes.

"Mmmff-fuck, okay kitten. I'll give you your reward." He takes his cock out of his underwear, his tip an angry red. You watch as he strokes his member a few times before pulling your head closer to him. You stick out your tongue, starting from the base, you like the underside of his cock, as you reach his tip you wrap your lips around it and start taking as much of his length as you can. Your fingers begin to tingle, wanting nothing more than to fondle and play with his balls at this very moment but the belt keeping your hands restrained is preventing you from doing so.

"Oh yeah baby, oh yeah... Just like that... Taking daddy's cock like the good little cockslut you are..." Nanami growls, tangling his slender fingers through your hair, tugging on it as you hear him suck in a breath.

As soon as you feel his tip press the back of your neck, you shake your head and get on your knees, pushing yourself even lower, making it your goal to reach his pubic hair with your lips. Nanami moans loudly as his cock pushes through the walls of your throat, feeling as you swallow around him. Once you feel you've taken his entire length inside your mouth, you pull away, gasping for air.

Once your lungs stop feeling like they're burning, you take him in his mouth once again, hallowing your cheeks as you bob your head up and down. Nanami throws his head back, moaning loudly as you feel him start to buck his hips upward. You push yourself lower like before a few times, when you swallow around him this time, he bucks his hips up and pulls your head down, creaming inside your throat and mouth.

You waste no time in swallowing his load. He pulls out of you and parts your mouth open, checking and then smiling to see it empty. "Such a good kitten. Love daddy's cum so much? I don't see a single drop in your mouth." He chuckles, pulling you up and throwing you on your stomach. He pulls your hips up, slapping on your ass, his eyes watching the slap causes a ripple. He slaps your ass again, and again, and again and doesn't stop until both your cheeks are a fiery red color and tears are running down your face.

"Does it hurt kitten?" He asks, rubbing a hand on your swollen bum. You shake your head, looking at him through your side. "Then why are you crying?" He sounds as if he were genuinely concerned.

"It feels too good," You sob, "Daddy."

Nanami smiles, manhandling you to flip you around. His gold plated name on your neck glistens under the red light. He parts your legs forcefully, watching as your cunt oozes out greedy amounts of slick.

Nanami lowers his face in between your thighs, his eyes trained on you as he dips his tongue in between your wet folds. You moan loudly at the feeling of his hot tongue finally against your needy cunt. You roll your hips impatiently, causing Nanami to pull away and slap your cunt.

"So impatient, kitty. Good kittens wait for their daddies to finish their meal. Now stop moving and let me have my dinner." He goes back to your cunt, lewd slurping noises fill the room along with your loud moans and mewls.

Nanami pushes his tongue in between your walls, teeth grazing against your clit, taking you by surprise. Your walls clench around his tongue, squeezing it as he furrows his brows at your orgasm.

He pulls away, scowl evident on his face as he pulls his underwear and pants down. "You came without my permission, kitty." He begins working with the buttons of his shirt, undoing them. "And you know what happens to bad kitties right?" He lines his cock against your hole, hands on each of your thighs. "Tell me, what happens to bad kitties?"

"They don't get to cum." You answer, moaning loudly at the feeling of his member entering your wet and greedy cavern. You've been married with and have been getting fucked by this man for years, and yet your tiny cunt still couldn't get used to his size.

Everytime the two of you fuck, he always stretches you open and has you feeling so full. And your little cunny always squeezes around him, making him feel every inch of your walls.

He pushes his entire length inside you, his pelvis pressing against the back of your thighs. He thrusts inside you slowly a few times to get you at least a little bit more stretched out before his pace increases and the bed is creaking.

Nanami's hands slowly run up from your stomach to your tits, playing and fondling with them before his left one retreats back to your thigh while the other creeps towards your neck. He runs a few fingers over his name before his eyes look at you- your expression.

Your eyes are glassy and your face is flushed, you have a shit eating grin across your face with your tongue lolling out of your mouth. "I feel that good, kitty?" He asks, his thrusts becoming slower but much deeper. You nod your head, unable to use proper words.

"Use your tonge, kitty. Come on. Answer daddy. Do I feel that good?" All the comes out are mashed up words and slurs, making Nanami laugh loudly. He thrusts deep inside you, feeling your walls clench around him.

"I'm fucking you so dumb right now aren't I?" He asks, frowning when you don't reply. He slaps your clit and it takes every single atom in your body for you to not cum right then and there.

"Answer me. I'm fucking you so dumb right now, aren't I?" He growls, his balls slapping against your ass, creating lewd noises. You nod your head and your response encourages him, he slaps your clit just a few more times before he's reaching his own orgasm.

"Don't you fucking cum." He creams inside you, your toes curling as you try your best not to cum. He pulls out, the satisfaction leaving your body along with him.

He watches his cum drip out of you, his fingers teasing your folds, dipping into his white release, pressing his fingers inside your mouth. You suck on his fingers, licking them clean.

He pulls out his fingers and presses his lips on yours, his tongue pressing against yours, tasting himself. He hums in satisfaction, nodding his head. "Okay, you've been a good kitty. I'll let you cum under one condition." He pushes himself inside you once again, "You cum together with me."

His thrusts this time are a bit harder, much more maddening. He rolls his hips as he thrusts deep inside you, his head pressing you g-spot again and again as you cry out how good he makes you feel.

He leans his body towards you, his hips snapping as he presses his lips on your neck. "Who do you belong to?" He grumbles, licking your jaw. "Daddy..." You moan out, closing your eyes as you feel your orgasm slowly creep up to you.

"Mmmm-mmmm. That's not my name. Since I'm fucking you so dumb right now, I'll give you a little clue. The answer is what's written on your neck." He mumbles, hips never ceasing.

"Mmff- Nanami!" You moan loudly, your orgasm already so close to you. "That's it!" Nanami roars loudly, pushing away from you as he slaps your clit, "Who do you belong to?"

"Nanami!"

"Who?"

"Fuck, Nanami!"

You clench around him milking him as he rolls his hips while insde you, helping you ride out your rogasm. You press your head against the soft pillows, his name coming into view as he cums inside you once more, painting your walls white.

The two of you stay silent for a moment, your heavy breathing the only thing that can be heard. Slowly, Nanami pulls out of you making you whimper, the overstimulation causing your body to become more sensitive than you wanted it to be.

"Shhh, shhh... It's okay baby, I got you..." Nanami coos, skillfully undoing the belt from behind you, pulling the restraints away from your hands. You pull your hands from behind you, immediately pulling Nanami closer, breathing in his scent.

Nanami presses soft kisses all over your face as he whispers sweet nothings into your ear. He carries you in his arms, walking over to the bathroom where he has already prepared a bath with your favorite bathbomb.

He sets you down on the water, carefully taking off your catears and your choker. "Okay baby, I'll take off the plug now okay?" You nod, wrapping your hands around him as you hiss as the plug is slowly being taken out of you. He continues peppering kisses all over you as he washes you hair and face, he doesn't stop even as he's pulling you out of the tub and walking you back to your bed.

He walks away towards the closet, coming back with the comfortable panties, sweats and one of his shirts. He helps you get dressed, drying off your hair and combing it soft as he constantly kisses you, whispering praises as he does so.

Once he finishes, he sets you down on the bed and he leaves to wash up himself. When he comes back, he joins you on the bed, pulling you into his arms as he presses one last kiss on your forehead.

"I love you baby." You mumble out.

"I love you too."

"I love you more."

Nanami tightens his arms around you, burying his nose on your hair, "I love you most."

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sorio99 · 3 years

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Deltarune Chapter 2: Live Thoughts

So, since the new chapter of Deltarune came out, I've played it all the way through, so, here are my thoughts as I had them. Basically a live-blog, but, not live anymore, I wrote these in my notes app before.

NOTE: Obviously there are going to be ALL THE SPOILERS for Deltarune Chapter 2 in this, as well as Chapter 1. Reader discretion is advised.

Wow, okay, so I was wrong about it being immediately explained.

Various descriptions have changed, and I’m not sure if it’s because of the change to a new game, or the one to a new chapter.

I feel like Berdly is definitely a m’lady guy.

Okay, so, we’re not skipping class this time.

I really wish we could call Toriel and tell her we’re gonna be late again, but I couldn’t see an option for that. Maybe Kris told her on the ride to school.

Okay, so, Noelle is definitely adorable, and a huge lesbian.

Susie seems lovestruck too, kinda.

SHE HAD CHALK, AND SHE DIDN’T TELL ALPHYS BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT SHE AND SUSIE COULD GO GET IT TOGETHER OH MY GOD

Okay, honestly wasn’t expecting the closet to work again.

Fricking LOVE the new transition.

Okay, so, Ralsei knows about, the real world? How, why, and what?

Oh, that, makes, a little sense? But also, if we hadn’t brought the toys over to the closet then, would they all be, dead?

AND WHAT IS RALSEI IN THIS CONTEXT?!?!

Okay, but I love the new town.

Holy shit, save points have storage, AND a spare list? Hell yeah.

So, we’re all level 2 now. I guess they moved from EXP based (or, execution point based?) to Milestone.

Love the basement for bad guys, with K. Round standing guard.

Bitch said “Child abusers live in Hamster Cage”.

Wait, he uses the hamster wheel?

I don’t know if I believe the king about his “bluff” or not. I think not, but, I don’t know.

I can see the “Susie moves to Ralsei’s castle to escape her abusive home” fic already.

RALSEI GAVE KRIS A TRASHCAN, AND SAID IT WAS FOR THE MANUAL IF HE GIVES US ANOTHER ONE OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY MY SWEET FLUFFY BOY

And of course, the moss call-back.

Oh god, Susie just said “My own room, huh.” and my heart is ready to shatter.

This girl has one actual food item in her fridge, and it’s just salsa

Oh, scratch that, there’s ice, crumbs, and jawbreakers in there too?

Oh, okay, Ralsei did give her actual food.

Entering Lancer’s room gives the cartoon Splat sound effect from Chapter 1, and his bedroom is identical to Chapter 1.

Perfect.

And the sound effect, plays in reverse when leaving? Okay.

So, explore until we’re ready to leave, huh? Seems, suspicious.

Oh my god, I just realized, the LightCandy is literally the chalk Noelle gave Susie. What the fuck.

So, for giving the Top back his cake, we get regenerating SpinCake that heals everyone for 140. Nice.

Battle challenges, huh? This should be interesting.

So, we can get a ClubsSandwich, $100, or…Jigsaw Joe’s entire life savings. Okay.

Aw, Clover has separate heads in their dialogue box!

Just realized this “dojo” also has their bed. Odd.

Alright, let’s take these challenges!

Oh, so if we act with Kris, than spare with Ralsei or Susie…got it!

He has a mercy meter. There’s a mercy meter now. I love this.

Oh, of course his life savings is exactly one dollar.

I can already tell the Graze challenges are gonna be the biggest bitches.

Okay, so, being able to rematch bosses, with different gimmicks and attacks, but based on the same logic? Always amazing.

I love the little cut-ins from the other characters with certain lines, like Susie and Lancer revealing “for a price” means zero dollars.

“Cookie and Wife”?

The Blacksmith runs a bakery where he can fuse items…okay.

Imma get a Silver Card.

What the fuck, Mr. Society?

Okay, so, we’re “leaving” through the way we came in, so “surely” we’re going back “home” to the “real world” and our “family”. Sure.

LANCER was added to your key items.

Oh was he now?

And so was Rouxls, “even though no one wanted that.”

Oh, we, actually went back to the light world. Huh. Actually wasn’t expecting that.

Jack of Spades, and the Rules Card. Makes sense.

Still LV 1 here, thankfully. No murder yet.

Okay, thankfully I can call Toriel now.

…Undyne, what the fuck?

Also? This, car horn music, I guess? Is, um…interesting.

Oh, the, computer lab. Where Toby was in Chapter 1. Okay. Makes sense.

“Guess this means we can’t start our project.” I’d say the biggest obstacle is more that we have no clue what the hell this project is supposed to be.

Hmm, we could use the computer at my house, or we could have a fun Toby Fox adventure…

My house!

I knew Susie wouldn’t allow it, also, you always wanna jump in big pits? That’s, worrying.

Computer lab time!

So, computer themed, maybe?

Rouxls jumped out, apparently. According to Lancer.

Okay, this build up is creepy, where’s the fluffy boy?!

Who is SHE?!

Was

Was that Noelle’s chatter sound?

Asking for help?

OH MY GOD

ITS THE REINDEER LESBIAN

SHES BEEN TAKEN

NOOOO

And, I suppose, this must be, our queen.

Q5U4EX7YY2E9N. Sure. I’ll stick with Queen, yeah.

Oh, she’s a computer! That…that’s probably not, great?

Oh, those plugs are bad, brainwashers. Okay.

Okay, they’re both tired…but Ralsei isn’t here. Fuck.

Aiming at moving targets is hard.

2 Werewires spared, only 4 to go, I guess!

RALSEI IS BACK, YAY!

Fun Gang, back together, working to save Susie’s soon-to-be-girlfriend!

Rhythm game to start a new bumping song. Nice.

Might live blog less from here, since, you know, the game is starting proper.

God, I love Deltarune’s look and sound, it’s so clean? And expressive, and AAAGH, I just love it!

I love angry Ralsei.

First lose control laughing moment: Kris and Susie squishing Ralsei like a toothpaste tube, to play an arcade game.

Did, did I just play Punch-Out inside an Undertale?

Curing computer viruses with Syringes…sure.

Sweet is the rhythm guy! Nice to meet you, Sweet! You and Toby are great at this music thing.

Hey, Susie can act now! Awesome!

Ralsei too, because of bullying! Yay!

Now the whole gang’s dancing!

(This is where I took my first real break, to process stuff and relax, and also to sleep)

In between thought: it’s kinda interesting that, in Chapter 1, Susie basically had to be forced to care about Kris, Ralsei, and Susie, but as soon as Noelle is in the slightest bit of danger, she’s immediately like, “We have to save her or die trying”, huh?

“Reverse diss-tracks, where the vocalist puts themselves down and praises Queen…or noise music.” That’s some, interesting taste in music.

“All our songs are only 4 seconds long!” Damn, so you’re, like, Vine musicians?

So, the Knight is opening alternate fountains, that create dark worlds out of, more mundane places? Interesting…

So, someone new is leading the rebels. This, can’t go well.

Smorgasbord 2.

Oooh, a TP raising Item! Nice!

Oh, the guy who was already working for Queen is a Werewire now. Okay.

66 up arrows. Hmmm, I wonder if I can retry at some point…

Oh boy. Here’s the queens…wait what?

Oh my god.

Go kart time.

Noelle, you traitor! How could you!

Oh, okay. Berdly I believe more.

Also, “beloved”.

I love how Queen apparently didn’t even ask him.

“Light Nerds” Good one, Queen.

That’s one weird Check for Berdly.

Berdly, for God’s sakes, Noelle is a lesbian, you idiot.

You know, given this villain rant, I think I hate Berdly more than I do King. And I’ve dealt with both bullies AND abusive dads.

Oh god, Roller Coaster Tycoon murder (also Berdly is dead)

Garbage! Saved by it again.

Oh, this place looks glitchy.

Also, Susie, you’re not the king of the trash pile. You’re QUEEN of the trash pile.

Oh god, please don’t tell me she’s dying.

Okay, good, she just needed fluffy boy hug.

Fork in the path, advantageous to split up, huh? But there’s three of us, and, two paths probably.

Okay, I can either go with the Fluffy boy who might secretly be evil, or the mean girl who might get lesbian scenes…hmmm…

I’m flipping a coin.

Okay, Ralsei it is!

Oh, Susie is upset at me getting to pick.

Oh, they’re going together.

Oh, this can’t be good.

If I had a nickel for every indie game with a cat themed metropolis on my pc, I’d have two nickels. You can finish the meme.

I swear I just saw Noelle on the right. Something big in the streets, hmmmm…

Okay, definitely saw Noelle that time. Shame the Poppups, popped up.

…I get it, Toby, but I’m still mad.

Blocked 10 ads…okay, I still love this game.

God, I’m already missing my party members.

Okay, so I still have Lancer, but, I’m really hoping Noelle listens to reason, because Lancer is, not.

Oh god no, don’t fight me now Queen. And please don’t join me.

Alright, nobody likes Berdly. Figured.

God they’re so dumb.

“G-got any room for another truce?” Noelle, I would do a No Mercy run for you, of course I’m going to help you.

I can’t believe “No Triple Trucies” is even an option.

Yay! Noelle in party!

“LV1 Snowcaster. Might be able to use some cool moves.” She’s got Heal Prayer, a more powerful (but more expensive) Pacify, and a damaging Ice move for only 16% TP.

I love her.

I don’t know what a sugarplum is myself, actually.

Noelle, you have a one track mind, and I like it.

Lancer, she’s not a cream, and we’re not making her a bad guy.

Oh, and she’s scared of mice, I love it!

Ah, she’s never been in battle before, let’s see how this goes.

See? That wasn’t so bad, Noelle.

Oh, she’s a natural!

“Needles aren’t scary…” Tell that to anyone under 20, Noelle.

Also, “subtle” pro-Vax message?

Oh my god, I just love her animations.

So, the virus and the syringe are fighting…hm…

Okay, so, first, Noelle’s defend animation, also perfect.

Second, so Ambyu-lance’s bullets block and destroy Virovirokun’s…hmm…

Have I mentioned how much I love Noelle? This funky little Christmas Lesbian can do no wrong.

Oh my god, she can’t even confidently say we’re friends, and hearing Kris say it makes her happy, I love her so much.

Okay, so, Queen drinks Battery Acid. Makes sense for a computer.

Kris is so done with this shit, I can tell.

I am both scared of and loving Queen.

Oh Jesus Christ Berdly what the fuck is that.

That is not greatness that is…I don’t know. I’m pretty sure even tumblr isn’t horny for you, Berdly.

Christ, he’s gonna break Queen by being an idiot and then he’ll be the Chapter boss.

Her eyes say lying. Of course.

“I Did Not Know You Had… Nipples” that’s, a good point.

…Berdly, you disturb me.

Second lost control laughing moment: Noelle’s cardboard robot face, and Queen just saying “Wow Cool Face”

Lancer, what is the “illusory nipple technique”?

Oh, of course the music bots built the statue. Berdly would never do manual labor.

Oh, and, they built the next “big” thing…hmmmm…

Why are we, flavors of tea???

Okay, that should be all the werewires for now.

The, clothing store, sold me, a useless mannequin, for $300. Of course.

I am going to touch the cheese.

Maus!

Cheese maze, purposely ruined to spare more Mices.

Hmm, Berdly talks about Noelle’s crush. $20 says he actually thinks it’s him, or maybe Kris at a stretch.

Noelle is now immune to mice! Yay!

Oh, CD Bagel, Seedy Bagel, just got that.

Okay, sacrifice pacifist run to kill Berdly…I’m tempted.

Uh, Berdly, Noelle just one shot both your allies. I’m not alone, you are.

Jokes on you, buddy, I’ve been dodging A+ for years!

“(He hit me in the face with a tornado…)” Yes, Noelle, and I have papercuts on my eyelids. He do be an asshole.

Oh good, they both made Battery Acid Pies. Now we’re in a car together. Perfect. This is exactly how I wanted things to go.

Potassium

Who is this trash man?

Spamton, huh. Oh boy.

Oh god, this song has lyrics.

Oh joy, a mini boss on my own. Just what I wanted.

Oh, new game over screen! Nice.

Anyways, I hate this guy.

Okay, just one more deal, I think. I wonder what’s next.

I’m not giving you my credit card info, dude.

Oh damnit, 1% more.

Okay, I’m very scared now.

Oh, I lost $51. That’s, fair.

Okay, back in the car.

Oh my god, Queen loves Noelle too. Perfect.

Lancer took the mixtape! Nice!

Oh, he ate it…nice!

DECEMB…

Oh god she’s a little kid.

December.

I’m so sorry, Noelle. I really hope you’re going to be okay. We’ll figure out what to do.

Queen, why does everything you have explode?

Now the prize is on my head.

Susie and Ralsei! You’re back!

She can slightly heal me now…cool!

And she taught him Sarcasm. I love them all so much.

Uh, Susie! You can have it!

Okay, so, now Susie is both gay for Noelle, and suspicious of her. Amazing.

And Noelle is turned on by the threat of being killed. Have I mentioned I love these dorks?

The gang’s all here!

Uh, just got past fireworks, and, where’s Noelle?

Oh, okay. She was just watching Fireworks.

Oooo, catching mice minigame!

Oooo, more elaborate but simpler to control mice minigame!

Oooo, bucket hole!

Also, nice gay Noelle moment noted.

Oh no, please don’t take the perfect girl away from us!

Okay, so, I don’t like Berdly, but, Acid river? Bit much…

Oh, okay. He was never in danger. I hate both of you. GIVE US BACK NOELLE

GOD DAMNIT NOT THE CAGE AGAIN.

Oh, great, now we’re captured too. Except possibly Ralsei.

She only plays mobile games. Burn her.

For once Berdly is correct.

Queen, you are dumb.

Is that the super Mario world fade?

I don’t, next question.

No looking at my Search history!

Oh, hey, we can chat in here.

LANCER TIME!

YES I MISSED YOU YOU DOPE

Lancer, never say Pants hole again, and never say you were inside it either.

Lancer, do you still not know our name?!

So this is how they lampshade the tutorial-Toriel thing, huh?

Oh no, Lancer, please don’t die in here.

Um, are there rooms for all the kids at school?

Asriel…

Puzzle time!

Plot twist: Susie is not Susan.

Berdly is dumb.

Admittedly, I did brute force that second one a bit…

Okay, now Susie has outsmarted both me AND Berdly. This is sad.

Oh god, he’s gonna cry now.

Oh, my god, that’s what December meant. That’s why Berdly cares about Noelle. That’s why…oh god.

Oh wow, Susie’s a gamer. This is incredible Lore.

Oh wow, first Lancer’s face returns, now Berdly is Anime. I love this game.

Oh my god, Ralsei in a tux. I love him.

Alright, so, Lancer needs to go back to Castle Town, and we need to get the heck to Noelle. I hope Berdly’s plan actually works…

Aw, I wanted him to stay tuxedo…

Color Cafe, huh?

Oh god, Rouxls came here. I am terrified.

I love this hype manor song!

Toby Fox, why is there so much 3D Shenanigans in this 2D Top Down RPG???

Note: from here, I end up going to the secret of this chapter. Do not read if you don’t want to be spoiled on that plotline. Skip to where I say Pancake Batter.

Okay, I’m going back, and I’m gonna find this third blue check mark.

Okay, found it, now to get back to the guy…

Yay, fireworks, again!

East treasure’s hallway leading to Basement on 1F…

Oh dear.

So there’s a secret here after all…where is…

Found it!

Okay, how to open this lock, now…hm.

Well, one thing was in the field, so, maybe in the city?

Oh Jesus it’s Spamton.

$28, not a penny more.

KeyGen, huh…

If this is as hard as Jevil, I’m gonna be pissed.

Oh, great, just Kris going in. Again. Fantastic.

Oh what the fuck.

Oh Jesus Christ I hate this build up.

Oh, and I died on the elevator. That’s fun.

Okay, so I hate this elevator. A lot.

Okay! Took like six tries, but I made it past the elevator! Now, let’s see what’s waiting for me…

EmptyDisk…hmmmmmmmm…

Maybe take that back to Scamton or whoever?

…Ralsei, Susie, what are you two doing?

Okay, trash man, you better like this.

Oh Jesus Christ.

Okay, this is not what I expected to follow Jevil’s lead. But, let’s see what happens when I turn this disk in.

Oh, nothing happened. Sure it did. Just gonna walk away then…

Oh, wouldn’t you know it, something happened!

Okay, so big puppet robot man. This is terrifying.

THANK YOU SUSIE!

Roller coaster boss! Again! Oh good!

YELLOW SOUL!

Can’t write notes, gotta kill.

Spamton, oh my god. And it’s Neo’s outfit. How the fuck did I not realize before?

Im terrified, let’s GOOOOOO!

Holy shit is that the Undertale Game Over message??????

Many tries later

Okay, I think it’s actually Ralsei and Susie talking…

Quitting the game so they can get their healing items out of storage and buy some good ones extra later

Okay, third turn, and I’ve only been hit once! Granted, it did almost 50 damage to Susie, but, still, doing better this time!

Even more death later

Did he just, attack himself?

Is he surrendering?

I…I did it! I did it in one sitting! Minus quitting so I could grab healing items that did more than 40 HP!

Oh, he killed him by freeing him…….okay.

Dealmaker, huh? Let’s see what this bad boy is…

+4 defense, +5 magic (even on Kris?), and $+30%…”and…?”

Okay, Ralsei, you get that, Susie get’s Jevilstail, and I get many questions.

Alright, now back to the actual plot!

Oh…Kris has goosebumps, and Susie’s asking if they’re okay…no. I’m saying no.

I love these two so much. Now let’s save the adorable lesbian.

Pancake Batter. Alright, we’re good.

Sorry, Noelle, got distracted.

Mouse wheel!

Tasque manager helped!

Man, this room is big and empty, with an odd exit door and screens on the north wall. Hmmmm…

Toby!

Thank you annoying dog!

Okay, I still love this music. Just wanted to say that. Anyways, PROGRESS!

We’re tea covered now. Except Susie. She’s tea filled.

Oh god, I don’t trust Berdly with Susie.

God, Knight teased.

Duck ride with Fluffy Boy.

Okay, so, puzzle time, methonk.

High Five!

More duck ride!

Ralsei, do you wanna do the kissy?

Oh boy.

Oh jeez.

Oh damn.

Rouxls.

Ralsei, you read my mind.

Oh Jesus it’s the tank from the first game.

Okay, so, we, take houses? Okay.

I can’t believe some people thought this dork was Gaster.

Wow, I beat him in like 3 and a half turns because I blocked him in.

Another God Dammit because SOMEONE didn’t pay attention to what happened to Lancer.

His head is still blue…

Hey, Camera! Peace signs and hugs!

Mostly hugs.

Yay, more Susie and Noelle time!

Oh my god, my heart is breaking.

Okay, I love these adorable girls.

Oh boy, this is, weird.

“Point and hearts come out” or “Eat moss”. The choice of a generation.

Fair point, Susie.

She likes scary things, huh.

Kinky

Have I mentioned how much I love these two? Because I do.

Susie and Noelle are best girls ever, no objections.

Oh good, Berdly, don’t ruin this completely, okay?

I fucking knew it.

Noelle, you’re going to kill him, and that’s okay with me.

Susie, stop squishing him like toothpaste!

Oh boy, I get big “final boss” energy right now…

Werewerewire?!

Okay, so I just stole from Noelle’s room.

Okay, boss time.

Shit, I should’ve healed up.

Okay, so, I died, but, I can fix that!

So, this boss is calling back to how the town’s internet has gone out, a fact I didn’t even learn until watching other content last night when I should have been sleeping, because I forgot to talk to Alphys during the brief chance I had.

Also, now both she and Ralsei have made reference to the real world outside…hmmmm…

So I guess the plot is about Google search being evil…yeah that checks out.

Bitch, did you just funny runny way?

Hmm, I’d say 50/50 odds of him being a drama Queen vs. him trying to trick Susie into caring about him.

Yep, he’s trying to score a kiss. Berdly…get a job.

Alright, let’s save Noelle, and possibly the whole town.

The “Roaring” Knight?

Oh god, the determination…who is this Knight, what is going on, and how involved are we?

Wait wait wait wait wait wait WAIT

When she described the Knight making more darkness, she said they took their blade, and showed an image of a knife. Was…was this…

HOLY SHIT IS KRIS’S NIGHT SELF THE KNIGHT?!?!

Oh. It was a giant robot. Not a statue.

Susie’s dancing!

Oh yeah, he can fly.

Resistance! Yay!

Okay, so, we sentai up in this bitch.

I wonder how the hell this story would go if we didn’t go pacifist then? Because in Chapter 1, all that really changed was how the boss was defeated in the cutscene, and like a couple details later. This is, a lot more than that.

Okay, so, three rounds of HP, punch out for her turns, just keep attacking. Got it.

Two rounds down, one to go!

Yes, eat your own Baseball, bitch!

Oh, suicide attack. Well it was just a robot.

Oh. She still has us.

Oh fuck the robot is Noelle’s mom. Fuck.

Okay, so, Queen is dead.

Oh fuck, don’t take over the world with darkness all of you, please.

The Roaring?

Oh fuck, new legend lore.

Titans, Fountains, enveloping the land in devastation. Oh jeez.

Lost eternally in an endless night…that’s not paradise. That’s hell.

QUEEN IS ALIVE?!?! AND DIDN’T KNOW ANY OF THAT?!?!

Thank you, Susie!

Okay, that’s a good ending for a second chapter, it’s dark fountain time!

Susie, please don’t turn evil.

…

And, we’re in the computer lab!

Wait, Ms. Boom? Does, does Gerson have a daughter, or wife?

Lost control laughing #3: this

I love this game so much. Time to explore town again.

Okay, Alphys does crush on Undyne still, at least.

Oops, I just let all the prisoner dogs out.

Awww, Undyne likes Alphys too!

Napstablook, I love you.

Oh shit, Asgore used to be a pig?

Oh god, this Rudy storyline is gonna be depressing all the way through, huh?

Susie, can we steal the tower of the gods?

Hey, we can actually go back to Ralsei’s dark world?!

Okay, this is gonna be interesting.

Oh thank god, we can save in the epilogue now, cool.

Oh cool, King and Queen together.

Oh my god he calls her Queenie Beanie. I love this.

So, a card and a computer fucked to make Lancer, who is a card. Okay.

Okay, so Lancer DOES know Kris’s name! Just not Ralsei’s!

New battle challenges! Yes!

Might save “Ch. 2 All-stars” for another time, though…

Perfection is the mannequin reaction.

Oh my god there’s a dedicated room for listening to music I love this

Alright, time to skedaddle back to the real world.

Okay, so Alvin is Gerson’s son, and he’s depressed. Fun.

Oh, MK and Snowy are by the creepy bunker. That’s…fun.

Okay, so, Susie scared them off after they insulted Kris, because Kris said something about the bunker…hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…

Hey, Nice Cream Guy is one of the Ice-E’s employees! Nice!

Ah, PizzaPants. Never change.

Oh hey, it’s the little guy, who’s clone is a Gaster follower. And the bird guy’s still in the library, and the donut guy is still in his car…

Hey, Catty and Bratty are becoming friends again! Cool!

Omg, Sans’s store is open. Do I…go in?

Hell yes I do!

Okay, so, Grillby’s music still, but, different interior. Interesting…

Sans, a day and 2 years in this game are not equivalent. It’s a day and 3 years.

The trousle grows further away.

Oh jeez Susie’s been drinking the milk. Oh god.

Cool, Susie’s seeing Onion too!

Oh, never mind.

A song is coming from deep under the water…either Shyren is involved, or this is gonna take a turn.

See you, Su-

Oh! Hey mom! Meet Susie!

Pie for all!

Oh my god, Susie, my heart is breaking.

Okay, so Alphys and Toriel know about the chalk. That, kinda makes Susie thinking she’d get expelled for it, really depressing.

Okay, so, Toriel and Susie are gonna make Pie together, that’s cool. Still, pretty worried about, Kris.

Uh, I just ran the sink, and, uh…

WHAT THE FUCK

OKAY SO MY SOUL IS UNDER THE SINK, KRIS WHAT ARE YOU DOING WHY IS IT BLACK OUT THE WINDOW WHERE ARE YOU GOING

WHAT THE FUCK

…so we get a cute scene with Susie and Toriel, then Susie asks where Kris is and…they do this sometimes?

I’m very concerned.

Okay, Toriel is concerned too, enough to say “hell”. Even Susie is shocked.

Okay, so, they’re coming back, uh, okay, this isn’t good, right?

Stopped the faucet, opened the drawer, and…we’re back?!

Kris what the fuck are you doing

And why couldn’t we find Asgore in the town?

Okay, so, we’re all sleeping in the living room. I, guess tomorrow’s the weekend, probably? I don’t know?

Susie, doesn’t have caring parents, I guess?

Oh god, Susie wants them to come to our world, but, Lancer is a playing card, he can’t…I don’t know. I’ll say it’s “far-fetched”.

There’s a festival, apparently. This seems…suspicious.

I’d take Ralsei, so you could take Noelle.

She’s asleep.

That, might not be good, in this context.

Okay, so, we’re asleep too, I think?

Oh god, Toriel’s tires are slashed, that can not be good, in any way.

Okay, night time, Toriel and Susie are asleep…now what are you doing, Kris?

That, knife…

Okay, so, yep, they’re the Knight, and they just opened Darkness in their living room. This is, not, good. And, the tv’s on, and the door’s unlocked…

What the fuck is happening?

Ending credits song sounds, techno? Is this more of Don’t Forget? Or a remix? I hear the lyrics at least.

“To be continued in Chapter 3” OH IT BETTER BE, TOBY

So, yeah, that's Deltarune Chapter 2. In conclusion: this explains nothing, raises 120% more questions, and overall is still an incredible, wonderful game. I also like how each Chapter so far has been almost as long as a full play through of Undertale, and yet we're still somehow only 2 sevenths of the way through. Oh yeah, did I not mention? After completing it, it brought me to a chapter select with SEVEN DIFFERENT CHAPTERS, only two of which were available. So, you know. THAT'S FUN!

In actual conclusion, please play this game, it's free, it's amazing, and also buy the soundtrack on Bandcamp so Toby can make some kinda living.

#deltarune #deltarune spoilers #deltarune chapter 2 #deltarune chapter two #deltarune chapter two spoilers #deltarune liveblog #shut up sorio #I have so many more thoughts #just give them a while to coalesce into something coherent

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pinkysfaultorbrainsfault · 4 years

Text

animaniacs - s5e8: the brain’s apprentice

this is the last patb short in animaniacs! as far as i know, anyway. if i’ve missed any with plans please let me know! there probably won’t be an update tomorrow because we’re going out with my boyfriend’s parents (in a covid conscious manner of course) but on friday (or thursday if i get time) i’ll get started on the spinoff. for now, enjoy mice. (:

episode summary: brain builds a machine that creates tiny robots programmed to take over the world. pinky helps. there is no dialogue in this short, because it’s supposed to be a parody of a short by some small inconsequential studio somewhere.

the rundown:

we open at acme labs!

there it is. it’s a very pretty building. i wonder if these shots were computer generated or, like, physically drawn. it’s kind of hard to tell, but they are impressively 3D looking.

“how to take over the world by building your own neato army. by alexander haig.”

hmmm. i am not american enough to get this joke, unfortunately, but i’m sure the animators had a good laugh putting it in there, so that’s all that matters!

as pinky watches a video about buying fish, brain walks past with a bunch of.... weirdly shaped paperclips. the box is taller than he is, at this point, and he was a baby exactly one season ago, so maybe pinky should be helping out? but needs must, i guess. he’s got fish to buy.

brain deposits whatever those are in a bigger bucket of whatever those are, and climbs down. i have decided that these are not, in fact, paperclips. i don’t know what they are, or how brain found them, and i especially do not know what they were doing in the paperclip box.

hmmm.

brain grabs his notebook and takes a look at his blueprints for whatever this big old machine is for.

i love how he just. ripped up a bin to make it. where will the employees of acme labs toss out their old crystal pepsi* cans now?

*i don’t know what people drank in 1995.

brain wiggles some buttons. pinky, meanwhile, gets bored of watching programs about why he should buy a fish, and goes to see what brain is doing.

he peep.

and out comes a lil robot. awww.

pinky is shooketh. he gotta see what’s going on with this!

in the process of doing so, he falls over. poor baby. :C but that’s definitely not important to the plot, or anything.

he wants to go say helo to the robot!

brain is less enthused by that idea, it seems.

because the robot needs activating before they can play with it! honestly, pinky.

huh.

brain tries turning it off and on again. he is not successful.

how problematic.

his solution is to take his notebook and go hide in the kitchen out of shame, i guess.

i don’t know either. never mind. pinky goes back to his fish.

but oh dear!

pinky tries to warn brain. brain gives no fucks. just let him go back to his loathing hole, pinky.

never mind. pinky is here to save the day!

the robot is on now.

it does a sassy little hands on hips thing.

ah.

so they end up doing a whole little dance together!

and it’s really cute.

bowling pin moments

until-- oh dear.

never mind. pinky and his new friend head off to the fridge.

hm.

the robot wiggled all the cheese out of the fridge, so now pinky is fat and satisfied. he likes his new robot friend, who procures cheeses for him.

but oh, fuck.

pinky attempts to stop the onslaught by pressing as many buttons as he can.

it has...probably the opposite of the intended effect.

the plug won’t come out, either.

maybe this lever will help!

i.... guess it did? but not in the way pinky intended. oh dear.

powerless to stop them, pinky watches as the robots wander off to their destiny. (he looks quite happy, there, actually. maybe things are okay after all!)

the first thing they do is steal a tank. (i’m not sure the cannon leads to the cockpit? i don’t know. i’d have to ask my dad.)

bomf.

this guy isn’t very good at his job, apparently.

(meanwhile, pinky attempts to hit the robot infestation with a fly swatter.)

mr The American President has recieved the calling card, apparently. honestly, this is a bit fashy, even by brain’s standards, but i guess after last episode he just got hit with a bout of desperation.

this man is very scared. he doesn’t want his brain poked out by pens.

pinky is also very scared, because the entire lab is just full of the bloody things. he clings to the chair and considers the direction his life is going in.

oh dear.

brain very calmly heads towards the machine in a way that is probably terrifying. i’m put off and i’m just sitting here.

pinky is banished back to the table for his many crimes. he is Grounded. he has been Put In The Corner.

i don’t. actually think i’ll be comfortable making jokes like that for a good few more episodes, actually, lol.

pinky trundles sadly off to watch more Fish TV, while brain rolls his eyes and does the sort of little head shake that my nan would do if my grandad gave us the wrong christmas presents or whatever.

some people may find it difficult to remember the voices of the dead, but my nan mumbling “stupid man” under her breath is eternal. rip nan. also i really, really like the faces in this episode.

is he wearing eyeliner? it looks good on him. maybe that’s what he was doing while he was moping, yknow. put on a bit of lottie london and listen to the black parade. it’s a good way to vent your emotions, i guess.

but oh, what’s this?

something completely unrelated is holding the president hostage!

huh.

conclusion:

obviously, this is something very important that brain needs to know about, so pinky goes off to get him.

does a cute little pouty face and everything.

brain doesn’t want to know, it seems. he tells pinky, presumably, to shush. he has a machine to deactivate!

bonk.

so obviously this causes the robots to go a bit haywire.

better sign that contract, mr president!

or not, i suppose.

and the reddit alien is dead. very sad. no more am i the asshole for anyone.

the president is upset. he liked posting judgemental things on r/pics whenever he saw a woman.

meanwhile, pinky is trying very hard to get brain’s attention.

oh dear. brain is so upset that he can’t even laugh at “wolf spritzer”, which is a silly name for anyone to have.

he’s gonna go off and cry. ):

good thing pinky knows what’ll make him feel better!

BONK.

i don’t know why he’s hitting pinky, quite frankly. yet again, if brain had listened to him from the beginning, their plan would have been a success. pinky figured out what was wrong with the machine, and activated it, and solved the problem. even as accidental as that was, brain could have like... yknow. taken a moment to assess the situation.

but this is the last episode of animaniacs (that they appear in, anyway) so i guess that proves that he’ll never learn.

brain: 4 ½ pinky: 5 ½ outside influence: 10

i have nothing more to say about this episode, but the guys from the preceding short look like the dover boys, which is funny, i guess.

#patb #a!#pinky and the brain #animaniacs #aaaaand that's it for a! thanks for coming yall (:#spinoff time now!#exciting

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glamrayvision · 4 years

Text

A WIP oneshot

This was intended as horror but immediately turned into crack, what can I say?

I will post the whole thing when I'm done, along with some art.

Warning for cursing and menton of covid.

Summary: A young adult Miraculous Ladybug fanartist gets a suprise when her drawing of Chat Blanc comes to life! But as a student of Zoom university in the middle of 2020, nothing scares her anymore. So she thought.....

FANART

'Hmmm' I think to myself.

14 year old me would be proud. College girl me is absolutely disappointed in the way I drew his hands (ya know, the blob with sad excuses of tentacles) , but hey. The only artists who can draw hands probably have divine powers anyway. However, the other eye looks pretty rad.

Chat Blanc is the first thing I drew in this sketchbook. I got it for a quarter at a thrift store. Yes I'm bragging. Everything I own cost me less than $10, and that is a peak accomplishment, even more so than drawing two cat eyes correctly on an angry human face. But I digress.

Am I too old for this fandom? If you say yes I dare you to pry it from my cold dead hands.

I put away my art supplies, neatly for once in my life, and scrub the oil pastel and charcoal residue from my fingers. Chat Blanc looks at me, sprawled across the kitchen table, aiming his cataclysm at me.

"Meow!" I drop finger guns at him, laughing at myself.

My phone buzzes. It's my student portal. "Glad to see I'm still failing calculus " I say with all intended sarcasm. "Perks of Zoom university!"

I set my alarm clock for my 8 AM class and plop on my pillow.

My insomnia haunts me

And I am out like a light!

------

"Fuck you!"

It does nothing, its screams only get louder.

And louder.

After fumbling for the off button on my alarm clock for ten minutes I decide to just rip the plug from the socket. It's not a problem anymore!!!

Another ten minutes to get me out of bed.

Then I crawl to the kitchen, with nothing but a tank top and underwear. Thank God I live alone off campus.

I grab a yogurt from the refrigerator. It takes another five minutes to realize that my sketchbook from last night is completely empty.

Another two to notice the cat boy on the ceiling light fixture.

Another five seconds to drop my yogurt and scream.

"What the- what the fuck!!!"

"Hi there! "He says with a goofy, toothy grin.

What does a completely rational person do in this situation?

No, she doesn't call the police or anything.

She gets dressed and logs onto her Zoom meeting.

Because if public school taught me anything, its that being late is more anxiety inducing than your supervillain fanart coming to life and invading your house.

As I go to my desk to turn on my computer, Chat Blanc sits behind me.

"Ain't you got shit to do?" I say with the fury of a zombie teenager. I log into the meeting.

"Not really " he shruggs. "What class is this?"

"Engineering "

Uh oh. He has an idea. "Can we turn on the camera?"

"Why?"

"I'm lonely " Chat whines.

It's way too early in the morning for this shit. "Look, we can go to the grocery store and get ice cream later. But now I have to go to class and pretend to be awake enough to care"

"Fine" For some reason he crawls on the couch and sits like an actual cat, ready to pounce. "You're no fun. I'm probably gonna accidentally destroy this world too, ya know. " Chat begins yo sniffle. "I miss Ladybug!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Fuck it I'm never gonna focus like this. Besides, I'm the reason he's here. And I don't want to bear any resemblance to his father. I put down by pen and grab some tissues. "It's ok, kitty. You'll see her again. I'm sure of it"

"You're not" he growled. "Everything from my world is... gone "

"I won't pretend to understand, but-"

"No you don't understand! " he pushes me off. The Akuma is controlling him now, I'm sure. As much as Adrien keeps trying to fight back, he must be exhausted, poor thing!

Chat Blanc stands up, his feet grounded in attack and a cataclysm glowing at his fingertips.

"Cataclysm this stupid pandemic, will ya? " I grumble as I dodge the blast, letting my wall take it instead. My land lord is gonna be a frickn disaster once he sees this. Oh well.

The dust settles as my worst nightmare comes to life!

My Zoom camera and and microphone have somehow turned on!!!

My tears begin to fall as he corners me with another cataclysm ready. A supervillain I can handle. Online video social interaction is a horror movie. Now everyone can see me crying like the 2 year old I am. Great.

"Shhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttttt!!!!!!" I make a dash for my computer. Chat leaps in front of me. I screech to a halt.

"Where's Ladybug!!!!"

"In Paris in an alternate timeline, you dumbass cat! Why don't you chill so I can help you!!!" I sob.

My class stares in complete horrified silence.

I grab a broom.

"LET "

Smack!

"ME"

Smack!

"SHOWER"

Smack!

"YOU"

Smack!

"WITH"

Smack!

"LOVE!!!!"

"Never!" He snaps the broom in half.

In desperation I grab my car keys on the counter. There's a lazer light attached. "Please God let this work! "

I turn it on and point it twards the hole in the wall.

His ear perks up and he attacks the red dot! Yes!

As he discracts himself I apologize to my class for "my insane cat" and turn off the video and sound.

I release the button on the lazer pointer.

Sinister blue eyes point twards me. I wonder if I should call animal control. His claws are sharp, all fours digging into the wooden floor.

He smirks at me.

Pounce!

His arms wrap around me tightly when he lands "A friend! A friend! I miss having friends!"

I hug him back. Despite what just went down, I still want to help this kid. Chat is baby!

#chat blanc au #miraculous fandom #miraculous ladybug #miraculous fanart #miraculous fanfic #chat noir angst #chat blanc #ml #what is this monstrosity #wip #mlb wip #i'm dying #chat is baby #miraculous crack

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thiswasinevitableid · 5 years

Note

Hey, my 20 year old cat is getting kind sick with his age. Could you maybe write a little something about Duck and his cat to cheer me up? I adore your writing

Of course!

Which means we interrupt our current schedule of superhero AUs to bring you: KITTY!

Duck’s been in the apartment a little over a year. As childish as it may sound, he takes pride in the fact it’s a place he can afford to pay for himself, and that he gets to furnish and decorate in whatever way he chooses (minus things that would lose him his deposit).

There’s still something missing, however, and that something is why he’s currently standing in the cat room of the Kepler animal shelter.

“Anyone catchin your eye, hon?” The volunteer asks a she gathers stray, jingling toys from the floor.

“Just kinda gettin a feel for all of ‘em.” He scritches a white and black kitten through the slats in the cage, gives the white fluffy one that hisses at him a wide berth (he doesn’t take it personally).

When he gets to the cage at the end of one wall, he finds a medium sized, scruddy tabby cat watching him carefully. Her left ear is missing a chunk, and she has the bearing of someone who can’t figure out why existence is a thing she has to deal with.

But when Duck steps closer, she stands, stretching like a black cat halloween decoration, and bumps her head into the bars. He does his best to pet her through them, and when he stops she levels him with a glare.

“Mrow.”

Duck had been expecting a charming “mew” not a deep, twenty-year smoker rasp, and doubles over with a surprised laugh.

“I see you’ve met Winnifred.” The volunteer smiles at him, “she’s quite the little warrior. She was part of a feral litter that was found without a mother last year. They were found because someones dog saw them, started investigating, and Winnifred launched herself at him. His owner was more than a little amused to find his dog running back with his tail between his legs and a cat latched on his muzzle”

“That why she’s missin part of her ear?”

“Yep. Rest of the litter got adopted easily, as kittens do, but she never seemed to find the right person.”

Duck hunches down, finds yellow eyes watching him and gets an emphatic “mrow” when he scratches her behind her wounded ear.

“Hey there, Winnie. How do you feel about comin home with me?”

---------------------------------------------------------

“Okay, gonna put your bed right here, that way you won’t get too nervous at night by bein too far away from me, got you this real fluffy blanket too, aw, hey, it’s okay, no need to be scared by a blank-”

“DUCK NEWTON!”

“JEsus Minerva, you just scared her under the bed.”

“Who is this her of which you speak?”

“Mrow?”

“Ah, you have acquired an animal companion. She appears to have the makings of a mighty huntress.”

“Yeah, sure, now do you mind? I’m tryin to get her settled in.”

“Apologies Duck Newton, I was merely checking to see if you’d given more thought to-”

“No.”

“Very well. I shall leave you to your furry companion. Perhaps she can convince you of the importance of destiny.”

Minerva disappears, and Winnie blinks at Duck.

“Mrow.”

“Yeah, that’s about how I feel.”

--------------------------------------------------------

It’s the first serious raise he’s gotten since joining the forestry service. Bills are all paid, food and everything else is budgeted for the month with cash to spare.

So he’s currently got his computer and LAN cable out to do some very important shopping.

“What do you think? Three story cat condo?”

Winnie hops up on the table, chasing his hand as he moves it on the trackpad.

“You could use some new catnip toys too. Heh, these ones are shaped like little ducks. Hmmm, no these mice ones are bigger, better bargain. Two packs enough?”

“Mrow.” A sandpapery tongue licks his hand.

“You’re right, I’ll get four just to be safe.”

---------------------------------------------------

“I dunno Juno, things have just gone kinda south with him lately but, I just-”

“Duck, you know I feel about him.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, I oughta dump him. But I can’t help feelin, I dunno, like I ain’t givin him a chance.”

“....this is gonna sound weird, but how does Winnie get along with him?”

“She don’t, really. She was okay with him at first, kinda shy like she gets sometimes. Now if he’s over she won’t come anywhere near us.”

“Do I really gotta say that ain’t like her? That cat’d play with a bear if she thought that’d get you to pay attention to her.”

“Shit, you’re right. Okay, I’ll call him now and tell him it’s over.”

----------------------------------------------------------

“I gotta ask” Leo sips his beer as the two of them sit at the kitchen table, “you had any problems with mice this spring? I keep havin to set traps in my cabinet.”

“Nope, ain’t had any issues.”

“Mrow.”

“Hey there kitty-cat, how’s it--uh, think I know why you ain’t had any mice.”

“Huh? Aw, jeez, Winnie, don’t drop that on the table! At least you didn’t leave it in my shoe or somethin. Thanks for keepin our groceries safe.”

“Mrow.” Winnie trots off, head held high.

------------------------------------------------

“Well Winnie, that’s that. Your human’s just a regular dipshit now.”

The orange loaf on his chest purrs soothingly as he pets her, focusing on her fur as he lays on his bed in the darkened bedroom.

“Guess I oughta write out a plan or somethin, in case you outlive me. How you feel about livin with Leo, wait, shit, he’s lost his too. Hmm, maybe it oughta be Juno.”

Prickly, padded paws knead at his chest as the purring continues.

“Takin that as a sign you like that plan. Then again….wonder if Indrid would want company. If he ever comes back, I mean. Juno’s got kids, and you’re gettin up in years and don’t much like bein mandhandled. Plus, that trailer’s real fuckin warm. You’d never get chilly. And maybe you’d force him to clean up all those mugs of stale nog”

“Mrowrrrrrr.”

“Don’t gimme that look, the guy’s just a friend, and I feel kinda bad that he’s alone.”

-------------------------------------------

Duck clicks the heater up a few more notches as Indrid slips off his Uggs. The Sylph came back in late February, and has finally allowed Duck the chance to buy him dinner as an apology for the punching.

“Really, you don’t need to go to any trouble, I’ve dealt with worse, oh, hello there.” He chirps delightedly when Winnie bumps against his shin. She follows him to the couch as Duck searches for his wallet, which has chosen now of all times to stray from it’s normal spot on his nightstand.

“Care to join me, tiny predator?”

“She’s havin trouble gettin up on the couch lately.”

“May I lift her?”

“Uh, sure. She’ll let you know if she ain’t in the mood.”

“Alright, come along fuzzy one, ah, there we go. My, you are a dignified, silver-haired grande dame aren’t you.”

Duck glances up to find Indrid cuddling Winnie, cooing over her as he pets her forehead. The Sylph is right; the once cheddar colored fur on her head is almost entirely gray.

By the time he finds his wallet (in a random boot), Winnie is sound asleep in Indrid’s lap.

“We cannot leave. I have been chosen.”

Duck laughs, and goes to start some popcorn. No reason they can’t have dinner and movie at home, after all.

---------------------------------------

Duck is exhausted; the apartment is at capacity, the FBI is nosing around town, and he’s been training daily to prepare for the next abomination.

So he’s more than a little annoyed when a familiar paw bats his nose, waking him up.

“Not even close to breakfast time.”

“Mrow.”

“Get.”

“MROW.” She hops off the bed, meowing louder and louder until he gets up, at which point she scurries into the living room. He follows, intending to bundle her into her bed so she can’t escape until morning.

But she’s not near her food bowl. She’s on the couch. Or, more accurately, on Indrid, who is curled up on the couch, frightened.

“‘Drid?”

“It’s all going to end.”

“Bad futures?”

“That’s putting it exceedingly mildly. I wish I could sleep, I’m so very tired.” He pets Winnie, manages a weak smile when she kneads at his thick sweater.

“Could read to you from one of my tree guides. Might knock you out.”

“...Yes, that actually might work. Thank you, Duck.”

“You’re welcome, be right back with that book. Winnie, you’re in charge until then.”

-----------------------------------------------------

“I have one final thing to move in. Ta dah!” Indrid presents a flat, rectangular basket, filled with thick, fluffy pillow. It’s late November, and while the world was saved, Indrid’s Winnebago got crushed by a Quell monster during the battle. Not that Duck’s complaining about an excuse to move his boyfriend in.

“Great, what it is?”

“It’s a special catbed. I know Winnie is on the upper limit of her years, and that the cold is rough on her joints. I found an old electric blanket in the Winnebago and stuck it under the pillow, so she can have extra warmth without leaving her favorite spot.”

“Thanks, darlin. Sure she’ll love it.” He kisses Indrid’s cheek.

“It’s the least I could do. After all, she was here first.” Indrid kisses his nose, pats Winnie on the head as she pads, slowly, over to investigate the offering. Duck sets it down in her corner, plugging in the blanket. She sniffs it, then settles into her favorite shape, the one Aubrey calls “catloaf.”

“Well, old girl, what do you think? This all gonna be okay?”

Winnie bumps her head against his hand, “Mrow.”

“Yeah, I think so too.”

#duck newton #reader requests #indruck

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theladyaurora · 5 years

Text

Orgasmic Power Supply

A story, maybe to be continued, mostly written by ar-tis-t, with a bit of influence from me. The tech had been developed during the technology explosion of the '20's right before the big flare ruined it for everyone. As a result of the massive and utterly destructive energy from the cataclysmic solar flare, all electrical generating stations stopped working and the technology was rendered useless overnight. Society returned almost immediately to a state resembling the dark ages. Slowly but surely we recovered but the means of generating sufficient energy to return to the greatness of the past eluded us. Until now. The details are pretty sketchy and all but incomprehensible to any save the imagineers but suffice to say that technology had finally found a way that allowed the storage and use of the electromagnetic energy produced by the body at sexual extremis.

In a nutshell. Your orgasms produce as much energy to power the average home. For a month.

As with all tech, it started innocently enough, toys created to feedback the excitement they created. The better they felt the more intense they operated. It created feedback loops, More excitement = more power. Ultimately it was the adult entertainment industry who broke the barrier. At an exhibition demonstrating the newest toys, the performer had such a powerful orgasm that the resulting discharge of energy blew not only all the lights but every electrically operated device within the immediate area. Coupled with the newly developed Shortrange Phyche Transfer technology or ShPhT (Hooking your mind directly into cyberspace commonly known as Shifting) it opened the door to some truly pantwettingly realistic porn with some truly mind melting orgasms. I'm not kidding. As with all new technologies, some people when presented with it took it too far and ended up as slaves to their computers. Pleasure puppets as it were. These poor unfortunates became the first “Batteries”.

That was years ago. At some point the government began to take notice and it wasn't long before “power stations” began to appear. Then the law was changed. On the advent of a citizens coming of age (and every year after on the anniversary of their birthday) they are to report to their local generating station, there, to be milked of orgasms for three days

Sounds like fun yeah?

Sounds like the best birthday present ever yeah?

To be strapped in and locked down. To have your mind sucked into whatever reality your pornprofile dictates and to be made to cum. Over. And over. And over.

Not only that but the pay was excellent, and after all, who wouldn't want to get paid to come.

Happy Birthday.

Not.

What they didn't know (that first time) was that once they signed on that dotted line, then that's it. No respite. They are inserted into the extractor unit and the orgasms are wrung from their bodies

Over and over

At first it's good

Then it starts to hurt

And they start to beg

Eventually

Some very few people don't survive. They literally come themselves to death. Others come back changed. Addicted to to shifting. Addicted to cumming. But the energy that is produced powers our society and everyone turns a blind eye to the few downsides.

Until today.

She came in. It was obvious that this was her first time even though she was far older than you'd expect. It wasn't completely unprecedented...different people, different cultures view the age of majority differently. Hell there was even a small cult up near the lakes who determined it by some kind of weird method that nonone else understood. She could belong to one of those.

You could always tell the newbies. There was no fear in their eyes. She would learn They all learned. Eventually.

I looked at her profile….

Surprised, I read through the whole packet. She was a new experiment. They'd kept her "New In Box", that is, she'd never had an orgasm before. I looked at her basic info - 35 years old? Hmmm..... Interesting. I started setting up the protocols as outlined in the schematics. It wasn't too different than usual, just a few tweaks.

She is apparently one of a group of experimental subjects that are hopefully going to revolutionize our power supply system. I remember reading about it a while ago, but didn't know they were so close to production. The theory behind it is that edging for a sustained amount of time before cumming would yield higher results.

I checked her chart again. She's been on an edging plan for the last week. I made a mental note to put on my protective gear before setting her off. Safety first, you know.

I kind of wondered how they kept people from cumming on their own. Seems like in that many years, one would have figured it out. Flipping through to the Methods section.... Ah! Mind Control. They just... do something? To their minds? That makes a person not be able to cum? Huh, glad I wasn't picked for that!

I smiled. Aurora. Bringer of lite. An apt name. I wonder if she had any clue what it was that awaited her. Scanning down the list of her stats, looking for the code for her personalised pornprofile. As soon as she was fixed in place we would fix the headset and she'd be plunged into the world of her fantasies, whatever they were.

I shouldn’t really admit this but once they were immersed, it wasn't unusual for the technician to "listen in" as it were. We could... remotely view whatever it was that was running through the subjects minds at any given time. Just a quick adjustment to the carrier wave and we could shift into their fantasies and become an observer.

That's all it was. Observing.

Honest.

It was always a surprise what it was that turned people on. We had a guy last week who got his jollies from food. And i don't mean eating.. Seriously. You don't wanna know.

"Ok. Ms Aurora if you just like to step this way we'll get you situated and comfortable, there's nothing to worry about. The inflatable cuffs hold your arms and legs in place.... if you could bite down on this... i know... its a little uncomfortable but its there to stop you biting your tongue. Yes.... it does stop you talking but it's preferable to biting the end of your tongue off when you orgasm" Ok??? Comfortable??

Good... now i'll just plug you in. This is inserted just...... there. Don't worry about it being too small. It will adjust itself to the optimal size and will syphon off the energy as it is created. OK.... now if you'll just take a deep breath in. That's it. And release. And another....

there. That's it. we need you to be nice and relaxed.

Now. I'll just pop on this headset and we are good to go. If there is an emergency, the system will automatically shut down and an orderly will come and release you. Now.

Sweet Dreams.”

I shook my head as I walked away.... wondering if there would be anything left of the poor girls mind at the end of the three days. I flicked the switch to initiate the Shift and closed the door. (Switching off the lights as I did so. can't be wasting power now... can we?)

She shrugged her shoulders, trying to find some give in the restraints but as soon as they were inflated they had become as unyielding as steel.

Damnit, how was she supposed to play if her arms were restrained. I thought they wanted me to play. That was the whole point, surely. To play and play and play. That was what you did wasn't it? You played and teased and stroked and tormented yourself and that generated power.

It made perfect sense to her but how on earth was she supposed to do it when she couldn't move her damn hands!!!

Suddenly the headset flickered to life and a voice, a woman's voice echoed in her ears. The shift will begin in ten seconds. Please relax, any discomfort will be temporary. PLease follow the numbers as we count you down.

10 Breathing in

9 And out

8 In

7 And out

6 Noises starting to fade

5 Mind going blank

4 Breathing in

3 Breathing out.

2 Mind blank and ready to receive.

1 Shifting.

A sudden spiral sucked her consciousness out and DOWN. Lights flashing, images flickering before her eyes… faster. Faster. Words dripping and dropping into her consciousness

deeper

faster

farther.

Layers of voices ... twisting in upon each other whispering talking…. discord mixing blending into a coherent whole……

then

Nothing....

You have been successfully inserted into the hub. PPF loading.

loading…..

loading….

Hypno orgasm addict playlist selected.

Repeat selected.

And play....

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mobius-prime · 5 years

Text

139. Sonic the Hedgehog #78

Though it's not really relevant to the plot, this just so happens to be the first issue released in the 21st century! You'll notice the little jokey announcement of this fact on the cover above. It's also worth noting that at this point, it's been just over a year since the first 3D Sonic game, Sonic Adventure, was released in Japan, and several months since its international release… I wonder if this will have any effect on the comic?

Changes

Writer: Karl Bollers Pencils: FRY Colors: Frank Gagliardo

We open with Sonic kneeling in front of the king, who is giving a speech in front of the entirety of Knothole about Sonic's bravery and heroic actions. He touches a sword to Sonic's shoulders, and knights him as Sir Sonic the Hedgehog! Sally gives him a medal and a kiss on the cheek, and amidst the celebration of Sonic's new title the king makes another announcement.

It's about time he officially recognized them! While this is going on, Robotnik seethes in his headquarters in Robotropolis. While he's finally managed to rid himself and his computer systems of the virus Nicole and Sally planted, he had to dump a lot of old corrupted files, including the hidden location of Knothole and start from scratch. This is kind of convenient for the larger plot, seeing as since this is a different Robotnik from the original, it might be too easy for him to concoct a winning strategy if he was able to simply access all the old Robotnik's info from the get go. He vows revenge on Sonic, as he still has millions of roboticized slaves, including Sonic's uncle. Speaking of, Sonic isn't as caught up in the celebratory mood as everyone else. He's quite depressed, actually, as he finds himself having to move all Uncle Chuck's old belongings out from his house for Nate to move in instead. His parents, entering the house, move to comfort him about the situation.

It's been so long since Sonic has had parents to look after him that this is a very sweet sight. Aside from Sonic Underground and an old obscure manga only ever released in Japan, I know of no other Sonic media that actually addresses the topic of Sonic's parents. When the series was rebooted in the future, one of Sega's weird new rules for the comic was that they couldn't include any references to family members that weren't already defined within the games, but I always found that to be restrictive and detrimental - considering Sonic's very independent, cocky, cool-guy persona, it's fascinating to me to see how he ends up interacting with parents who care about him. There's this clash between his rebellious teenager attitude, and the side of him that wants to be taken care of by the parents he was separated from for so long, and I find his attempts to strike that balance very interesting.

Speaking of family and parents, Sally and Elias have joined their father in the building which has been hastily retrofitted to serve as Queen Alicia's new "storeroom" of sorts, the temperature brought down to freezing levels to maintain her cryotube. Apparently Dr. Quack is still trying to work out why, if her past injuries have healed, she's still in her coma, and they all resolve to continue to hold onto hope as a family. They turn away to help Nate carry a Super Emerald (still no real word on what these are or how he came by them, but eh), which conveniently means they miss the queen's hand twitch within her tube…

And here, we have our second space interlude!

Hmmm… who could be in these strange spaceships? Clearly they know where Mobius is…

Back in Knothole, Mina is wandering around, depressed from losing her family during Robotnik's takeover. She actually considers letting herself be captured to be with her family again, but before her thoughts carry too far she finds herself approached by Rosie, who has a special request for her.

As Mina heads over to watch over the children, Bunnie and Antoine pass by, chatting together. Bunnie asks Antoine why he's seemed so distracted lately, and he responds that the knowledge of his father being the roboticized sub-boss of Robotnik in Mercia has been weighing heavily on his mind. As that moment Sonic, Sally and Tails show up, and when Bunnie and Antoine congratulate Sonic on his new title he suggests cheekily that they call him Sir Sonic from now on.

Now this is something I am very pleased to see. This is the moment where Geoffrey starts to become less of an asshole, and become a whole lot more likable. I really prefer his rivalry with Sonic to be more about their respective attitudes toward life, with Geoffrey being all about duty and serious discipline, while Sonic is more of a free spirit who leaps into things without thinking to be a hero. It's much more interesting than the whole love triangle thing Penders tried to push for so long in eras past. They begin to discuss how the king apparently wishes the Freedom Fighters and Secret Service to begin working together more closely, but they're unaware of Elias watching from afar, thinking quietly to himself. Turns out all of this - the reinstatement of the Freedom Fighters and their working together with the Secret Service - was all at the suggestion of Elias to the king, as he sees Sonic as a hero who deserves to be on the front lines after observing him during the mission to rescue Nate. He walks obliviously past a group of heart-eyed girls ogling him (and really, can we blame them? He is very attractive), wishing that he could be more involved in the adventures and dangerous missions the others go on, that he didn't have to be a prince in line for the throne. However, he finds himself shaken from his thoughts when he hears his father and Dr. Quack speaking through the window of the queen's storage building…

Well, that's not good… Perhaps even more concerning, Robotnik back in his HQ has once again turned his arm into a terrifying mass of robot tentacles and plugged it into his now-cleansed computer system, and discovered a tidbit of information that he believes could cement his ability to rule over the planet! What is this information you ask? Well, all we know so of it so far is what's displayed on his screen as he orders his troops to march out - the outline of a continent that looks very much like South America, and the word "Chaos" emblazoned across it…

So you remember how I pointed out how the Sonic Adventure game had just recently come out at the time of this issue? Yeah, I didn't bring that up for no reason - much like Sonic X did several years later, the comics did their own adaption of the game! Unlike Sonic X, however, which was able to follow the script of the game fairly closely with only minor modifications to be made for the setting and characters, the comic adaption differs significantly from the plot of the game due to this world's vast differences from the games' canon - for example, humans and Mobians aren't exactly friendly with one another, the Master Emerald didn't even exist until recently, and perhaps most notably, the history of the echidnas has already been explored in a very different context from how it's portrayed in the game. This was perhaps the thing I was most interested in to see how the writers decided to resolve the discrepancy when I first read the preboot. After all, it wasn't until the 3D games that the Sonic franchise began to expand its worldbuilding and create storylines and characters that had a rich backstory. Up until then, the characters and story were barely given any backstory beyond quick blurbs within game manuals, backstories which were so fluid and indeterminate that they differed greatly between localizations of the games in other countries. Sonic Adventure was the first real attempt to add some depth to the world of Sonic the Hedgehog, and suddenly the Archie comics found themselves having to contend with this new reality being explored in the games, a reality which is extremely different to the one they themselves already created with the limited base they had to go off from the Genesis era. Now, not only do they have to find new roles for all the characters which simply don't exist in the games such as Sally and Bunnie, but they have to find ways to fit even very simple concepts such as Station Square and Chaos into this universe. As we'll see, there were quite a few workarounds implemented in the plot to explain these things away… but it will be several more issues yet until we reach that point, as we have the final arc of Knuckles the Echidna to tackle first!

Tales of the Great War (Part 6): What Really Happened

Writer: Ken Penders Pencils: Chris Allan Colors: Frank Gagliardo

We're getting close to the end of this arc. We head back to the campfire around which Jules and Bernie are telling their story of the Great War. Jules was on life support due to the extent of his injuries, and Bernie and Uncle Chuck decided to hide this from the infant Sonic for the time being to avoid upsetting him with information he was too young to process. Chuck, with Bernie's blessing, took Jules to his prototype device within the palace lab, unaware that Julian had been making some, let's say, unauthorized modifications.

Chuck, unwilling to wait the time it would take to run preliminary tests on his device for fear of losing his brother, stuck Jules in and hit the button, and was promptly horrified when a mindless, fully-robotic Jules emerged, unresponsive to anything he said to him. He blamed himself and became severely depressed, not realizing that it wasn't his fault at all. Around this same time, the Great War was coming to a close. Julian had suggested something he figured would give him a potential leg up in conquering the world - that King Max should duel the Overlanders' overlord in a winner-takes-all fight to the death, his hope being that whoever won, he could easily take the place of to conquer the war-weary world for himself.

Despite his disappointment in the outcome, Julian was somewhat gratified that shortly thereafter, Chuck left all his equipment to him and resigned from being the kingdom's foremost scientist. Bernie attempted to convince him that it wasn't his fault, and that despite Jules' state she was grateful to him for trying, that Jules would be dead if he hadn't roboticized him. Chuck merely retorted that he might as well be dead with how the experiment went, and despite Bernie still trying to reason with him, he left, leaving her wondering how to explain everything to the young Sonic…

#nala reads archie sonic preboot #archie sonic #archie sonic preboot #sonic the hedgehog #sth 78 #writer: karl bollers #writer: ken penders #pencils: james fry #pencils: chris allan #colors: frank gagliardo

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keldae · 7 years

Text

Drastic Measures (Chapter 10)

Featuring dialogue written by Clan Piranha!

Korin hunched his shoulders into his leather jacket and skulked into a dark alleyway on Nar Shaddaa, frowning up at the thickly polluted sky. For the last three hundred years, this moon had been the ideal place for people looking to disappear, or close clandestine deals. Such things still happened, of course, and the Hutts only looked on until they’d gotten their share of the profits.

The looming space station in near orbit just made such things more difficult. Korin wasn’t sure exactly how the Star Fortresses worked. He knew only that they were Zakuulan-made; had enough firepower to decimate a heavily-populated world like Nar Shaddaa; and they were popping up across the galaxy. As far as he heard, there were two structures no longer showing signs of being under construction: the station looming over Alderaan, and the other that cast its shadow right over his head. The chatter he’d picked up hinted that more were being constructed over Tatooine and Voss. That made him scowl. The resistance cell on Tatooine really didn’t need an immense, looming, planet-killing orbital station right over their heads. He’d heard a rumour that the framework of another fortress was en route for the Core, possibly heading right for Coruscant itself.

That’s gonna be a disaster, the smuggler mused to himself. Turning another corner in the alley, he glanced over his shoulder to ensure no one was tailing him, then quickly typed an access code into the door panel. It rattled open and he slipped inside. He found himself standing in a derelict-looking apartment complex in the Red Light district. The smell of old garbage and stale urine permeated everything in this block, but kept the resident overlords away. Only the truly insane would willingly enter such a place as this.

Korin had already been accused of being insane more than once. This was just further evidence.

The whirring and beeping from his little companion made him look down and give the droid an exasperated look. “What do you have to complain about, Tee-Seven? You can’t smell anything down here!”

//Hideout = polluted = sticky. T7 treads =/= easy movement in sticky.//

“Ugh. Okay, point. Just stay behind me, buddy.”

//Master Xaja =/= bring T7 to a place like this.//

“You’re totally gonna tattle on me if-- when we find her, aren’t you?”

Tee-Seven whistled in what could almost be described as a gleeful manner, making Korin scowl. “Fine, I’ll get you set up with an oil bath when we’re out of here. That gonna buy your silence?”

//Oil bath = acceptable bribe. T7 = still telling Master Xaja about Captain Korin stealing.//

“Hey, you came along willingly when I offered to spring you off Coruscant! That doesn’t count as stealing you!” He shook his head as he poked his head around a corner and nodded at the two occupants of the room. “Vette, Zenith. Either of you two seen Hylo around recently?”

Vette waved at Korin and gestured further down the hallway. “Yeah, she’s here. Just got in a few hours ago with all the new chatter about that giant bounty from Zakuul.”

“I recognized Master Taerich and Agent Shan from that posting. She was a friend of yours from before the war, and Shan was with another resistance cell, right?” Zenith asked as he looked up from reassembling his blaster rifle. “You got any news on where she might be?”

“Not yet,” Korin said. That was a lie: he had received a short, coded message from his father a couple of days ago. Found them. Hiding. But better to not risk being identified as someone in the know as to where Zakuul’s Most Wanted might be. “I was hoping Hylo and I could brainstorm an’ see if we get anything.”

“Good luck,” Vette said, then suddenly froze, her violet eyes widening. “Whoa! What’d you do to your hand?”

“Hmm?” Korin glanced down and raised his broken hand. His father had done a good enough job with setting it that he’d almost forgotten about the wound, and there’d been enough kolto applied to it that it was mostly healed after a week. But the bandages were still quite prominent. “Got in a fight with a wall. You should see the other guy. And completely unrelated, we gotta find those bounty targets first so I can punch Theron Shan in his kriffing face.”

Zenith snorted in amusement. “You’ll be gunnin’ it to get ahead of Zakuul, and everyone else in the galaxy who’d like fifty million credits or so.”

“Yeah, tell me something I don’t know.” Korin waved in farewell to the two Twi’leks, then continued down the hallway and poked his head into what served as the headquarters in this dingy apartment. “Oi, Hylo!”

There was a muttered expletive, and then a Mirialan poked her head up from beside the computer terminal. “If it ain’t my favourite Voidhound pain in the ass. Make yourself useful and come fix this stupid thing, will ya? Gault’s off doing something I don’t wanna know the details of.”

“I’d better be the only Voidhound pain in the ass around here. Ain’t no good being legendary if there’s another one of me around,” Korin retorted as he meandered up to the computer, his stolen/borrowed droid trundling along after him. “Tee-Seven, see what sorta magic you can work on this thing.”

//T7 =/= miracle worker.// But the little droid obediently plugged into the computer as Korin typed in a couple of access codes and started manually troubleshooting.

“And you two’ve earned your keep for the next week or so.” Hylo grinned, tugged Korin down for a playful kiss on his cheek, then walked over to the table and started pouring a couple of drinks out. “So how’s Tatooine?”

“Hot. Sandy. Full of Jawas.” Korin frowned at the diagnostic readout, then knelt and started shifting wires around. It was a harder task to do one-handed than one might have thought. “The cell’s okay, all things considered. We’re trying to figure out what we’re doing about the orbital station going up over the Outlaw’s Den.”

Hylo scowled at the mention of the orbital stations and cast a dark glare up at the ceiling, where Nar Shaddaa’s own satellite lurked. “Our benevolent overlords are throwing the damn things everywhere. How the hell are they making all of them at once?”

“And where are they gettin’ the supplies an’ credits from? I got so many questions.” Korin grunted as he got a mild shock from the wires. “You let womp rats in here t’chew on things?”

“I haven’t seen a single womp rat in here!” Hylo leaned over Korin’s shoulder and frowned. “Oh. I see whatcha mean. Is that a mynock nest in there?”

“Yeah, I think I found your problem. You’re probably gonna want to replace all these components sooner ‘n later.” Korin sat back and accepted one of the drinks Hylo offered. “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.” Hylo leaned back against a chair and sipped at her own glass. “You didn’t come haulin’ ass into Hutt Space just t’ fix my computer, Cap’n. What’s up?”

“Dunno how up on the news you are, but you see that thing what just came out of Zakuul the other day?” Korin got to his feet, brushing dust off his clothing.

“Everyone and their mother’s seen that thing. I don’t envy either of ‘em.” Hylo ran her finger over the rim of her glass. “You got some sorta interest in ‘em? The girl looked familiar, like that Jedi you were workin’ with on Rishi way back when. Wasn’t her name Taerich-something? And the Shan kid… damn, wonder what the twit got himself into now.”

Korin hesitated before he nodded. “Her name’s Xaja, and she’s my sister. The sister I thought was killed years ago. For obvious reasons, I’d kinda like t’ find her alive before the Zaks do.”

Hylo’s eyes widened. “That Jedi girl you were workin’ with back with that whole crazy cult business was your sister? I thought you were just tryin’ to get in her robes!” She shook her head and laughed. “Of all the folks to have a Jedi sister, would never have pegged the loudest an’ proudest delinquent I know.”

“Any other pretty Jedi girl an’ that answer would be an emphatic yes, but with her… euch.” Korin shuddered. “Movin’ on... Your people haven’t heard any rumours of where they might’ve shown their faces?”

“There’s chatter all over the board, kid. Folks are claimin’ to have seen ‘em everywhere — here, Hutta, Ord Mantell, Brentaal, Jedha, Port Nowhere, even Coruscant. A couple of ‘em might be legit though. One guy got a look at a girl who might look like your Jedi sister on Corellia, although he lost her pretty fast. An’ another one of my buddies swears he saw both of ‘em on Rishi about thirty seconds before they were haulin’ ass offworld.”

“Hmmm.” Korin frowned into his drink. “One of my friends says he saw somethin’ on Rishi too. But if they’re gone from there already…”

“No tellin’ where they might be now. Sorry, kid.” Hylo reached over and patted Korin’s shoulder. “I’ll keep an ear open though. We might get somethin’. You’ll be the first person I tell if anythin’ looks interesting.”

“Thanks, Hylo. I really appreciate it.” Korin gave the Mirialan a tired smile as Tee-Seven beeped his agreement.

“No problem, kid. But be ready to move fast if somethin’ does come up. There’s a lot of folks who’ll do a lot for that many credits.”

“… You lot are damn lucky my honour’s worth more than two hundred million credits.” Shara Verhayc sighed and rested her palm against her forehead. “That story’s so insane, there’s no way it can be a lie.”

“Two hundred million, plus another two million added the other day for Doctor Kimble, cyar’ika,” Sorand corrected as he stared at his datapad again. “If you’d had any hopes of staying anonymous, Doctor, I’m afraid you’re out of luck. I would have thought you might have had a few more days before being identified…”

Doc just scowled at the datapad. Apparently anonymity was not his greatest concern. “Two million credits? I was at the top of my graduating class from the most prestigious university in Republic Space. I can cure anything, and Arcann’s only offering a measly two million credits for my head when Agent Walking-Disaster is worth fifty million? It should be at least twenty-five million for my healing hands alone!”

Xaja shook her head in exasperation as Sorand looked down and away, but not before the Jedi saw his lips twitch upward in a grin. To her left, Reanden just sighed and looked up at the ceiling, muttering something incoherent under his breath.

“Yeah, cure everything except carbonite poisoning,” Theron snarked at the medic from Xaja’s other side, well out of retaliation range. Not for the first time, the Jedi wondered why she always wound up stuck in the middle when her lover and her friend were sniping at each other.

Doc’s eyes narrowed in a glare. “Only because I don’t have the components I need for the cure, Shan. And I’ve still been more useful in dealing with it than you.”

“Yes, because sneaking into the Spire, finding her in carbonite and breaking her out, and escaping without getting her or me killed was something you could have done --”

Sorand raised his head back up and looked at Xaja. “Have they been doing this the entire time that they’ve been within breathing distance of each other?”

“Yes.” That was Xaja, Reanden, and Lokin all answering in the same breath. Doc scowled while Theron gave him a sidelong glare, but they finally quit bickering for the moment.

The Sith looked back and forth between the spy and the medic for a moment before returning to the subject at hand, satisfied that they could at least act like mature adults for a few minutes. “Okay. Dad was right when he said this will be the last place anyone would think to look for any of you, especially Xaja, and I’m happy to hide you for as long as I can. But this is Dromund Kaas. There are a lot of people here who don’t mind our benevolent overlords when there’s that many credits up for your heads. Others here hate Zakuul with a passion, but those same people also tend to be proponents of the Empire’s glory days around the time of the Treaty. They might not turn you over to Zakuul, but they also aren’t going to say no to a chance to kill a Jedi, or a Republic spy.”

Xaja nodded and sighed. “We’re not exactly big on options, brother. The Republic’s hunting us too — you saw that posting from the Chancellor.”

“Was this the same person you got into a yelling match with over the holo on Ziost?”

“Oh yes. That conversation continued when I got back to Coruscant. Saresh… isn’t fond of me, and the feeling’s mutual.”

Sorand shook his head and smirked. “Oh, I would have paid dearly to hear that.” He sobered again. “She might be afraid of Zakuul’s possible retaliation if the Republic’s accused of sending Theron in, especially if Arcann’s accusing him of setting up some plan to attack civilians — I know that’s a load of bantha shit, Theron, terrorism’s not your style.” Theron gave the Sith a tight smile, and Xaja felt a sudden sick feeling over their bond. I’d feel sick too if somebody had accused me of planning to murder civilians. “Although if she’s as… emphatically not fond of you as you say she is…”

“Hey, you heard that shouting match,” Theron interjected. “And she hates me. She’d sell us both for a cookie if someone offered.”

“Oh, don’t think so lowly of yourself, Shan.” Xaja looked up to see her father’s lips twitching in a smirk. “You’re worth at least two cookies. Granted, they’re both raisin cookies…”

“Wonderful. I feel so special. Thanks, old timer, I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“For kriff’s sake, Dad,” Xaja muttered as she dropped her face into her hands. “You are not helping!”

“Okay, we’ve established the Chancellor hates both of you, probably Doctor Kimble by association, and won’t try to save your collective shebs from Arcann,” Sorand quickly spoke before another squabble-fest could break out. “Is there anyone else in the Republic High Command or the Senate who might help you?”

“Saresh has her fingers everywhere,” Theron admitted with a final sidelong scowl at Reanden. “While there might be a couple of people higher up in the SIS or High Command who would be willing to hide me or Xaja, they wouldn’t be able to without being caught.” He and Xaja exchanged a quick glance before he continued. “We can’t risk their necks like that. You know if Saresh finds out about anyone helping us, they’ll wind up on Arcann’s bounty posting too.”

Sorand nodded and sat back, tapping his gloved fingers against his chin. “Hmmm. Acina and Vowrawn have their people all through my spheres — I’ve got my own people watching them too. We’re Sith, it’s expected. — but if I get you three out of public sight, they won’t be able to watch you. It’s pretty well-known that I’m the recluse of the Dark Council and personally vet everyone who gets invited to my residence. That list is… not much longer than the list of people in this room.”

“It won’t be a permanent solution,” Xaja quietly said. “How long do you think we would have?”

“A few days, for certain. If we’re lucky, a few weeks.” Sorand frowned. “Dad can probably arrange for false identities and disguises, so that might extend your time here. And between Shara, Dad, and I, we know where a few of the resistance cells that might be able to shelter you are. But we’re on borrowed time now.”

Xaja nodded, then suddenly cringed as a muscle spasm hit her right arm, hard enough to make the limb’s twitch visible through her robe. Sorand’s frown deepened as he watched Theron take Xaja’s arm and gently try to loosen the muscle. “And that’s another problem.”

“There is a conventional medicinal cure for carbonite poisoning,” Reanden said as he turned to take Lokin’s satchel while the older doctor moved to give Xaja another dose of medicine. “But it’s hard to come by, and expensive. It’s the other reason I didn’t take them to a resistance cell straight off.”

“Kriff.” The Sith sighed. “How bad is the damage?”

Reanden didn’t say anything. Xaja looked up to see her father’s gaze, and felt her heart break when she saw the grief in his eyes. Doc lowered his head and sighed; Theron squeezed her hand tightly, and Xaja was nearly drowned by the fear she could sense from him.

Lokin finally finished giving Xaja the medicine and turned to look at the rapidly-paling Sith Lord. “Your sister’s dying, Imperius,” he quietly said. “If she hadn’t been so fortunate as to meet Doctor Kimble on Rishi, she would probably already be gone.”

Sorand didn’t move or say anything for a long minute, then dropped his head into his hands. “With your and Kimble’s combined skill, assuming you have every drug you need to treat the symptoms, how long…?” Shara perched herself on the edge of the desk and reached a hand over to the Sith’s shoulder, worry creasing her brow.

Xaja watched as Lokin and Doc exchanged a sombre look. “Perhaps a month, at the outside,” Lokin finally said. “The poisoning is severe, and centered around her nervous system. She’s losing access to the Force too. At this stage, even if we had the cure on hand this minute, the damage that’s already been done is likely permanent.” She had already known that, but that didn’t stop her from gripping Theron’s hand back as tightly as she could and leaning into her father’s touch when she felt his hand on her shoulder. There is no death, only the Force… but that didn’t mean she wanted to die. I can’t. Not like this. I can’t leave Theron and Doc and my family alone, not like this!

There was a long moment where Sorand didn’t say anything — and when he did, the voice wasn’t that of a Sith Lord. It was that of a worried little brother. “Fierfek.” He looked back up. “You two compile a list of everything you need for that cure, and I will find a way to make sure you have it, and kriff the cost of it.”

Doc quickly nodded. “We’ve got a list already. Give us a second and we’ll get it transferred to you.”

“Good. Time’s of the essence. Talos, Xalek.”

“Yes, my lord?” The archaeologist and advisor to the Sith had been standing in a corner, mostly unnoticed; now he stepped up beside the Kaleesh apprentice.

“Go and make sure my residence is secure -- discreetly. In the event of a worst-case-scenario, I want the Raven fully fueled and ready to fly at a moment’s notice.” He glanced up at Shara, got a nod, and continued. “Shara will have her ship ready to go as a backup option.”

“I’ll come with you,” Reanden spoke up. “And I may need to steal Mako, Shara. I need all ears available listening for any chatter about these three.”

“Sounds good. I’ll see what sorta false leads I can set up in the guilds.” Shara gave Xaja and Theron an apologetic look as she hopped off Sorand’s desk. “With you two bein’ worth that much, I can’t keep ‘em from goin’ after ya, but I can at least slow ‘em down.”

“We appreciate everything you can do… all of you.” Xaja straightened up in her seat to look around at everyone who’d just sworn, either for themselves or on orders from Sorand, to protect them. “We understand the risk that you’re taking for us.”

“I am not going to ever be accused of being a kinslayer, which is what I would be if I just sat back and didn’t help you,” Sorand said as he stood up and came around beside Shara. “I’ve only got one sister in this galaxy, and I’d rather like to keep her around as long as I can.” He gave Xaja a grin. “The fact that I get to spite our dear overlords at the same time is just a bonus.”

“Anything that hampers Arcann and his minions is good for us.” Reanden gave Xaja’s shoulder a final squeeze and bent to kiss her hair before he moved away. “Mako, Talos, Xalek: come along. Time is precious.”

“Yes sir, Mister Commander, sir!” Shara’s companion, a petite human girl with impressive cybernetic implants on her face, cheerfully followed the older agent and the archaeologist out of the room.

“Brat.” Reanden just shook his head, then put his officer’s cap back on — Xaja could see the second where Reanden Taerich disappeared and the Sith Intelligence Commander returned.

“It will be too risky for Doctor Kimble to check the Citadel’s stores on medicinal ingredients,” Lokin said as Reanden vanished down the corridor, “but he can brief you on the details of what we need while I go investigate. A significant amount of what we need should be available in Intelligence’s storage.”

“Good. Keep me updated.” Sorand watched the old doctor leave, then gave Xaja a contemplative frown. “… Do you trust me?”

“Dumb question, little brother.” Xaja raised an eyebrow at the Sith. “If I didn’t trust you, would I be sitting here?”

“Good point. Sit still for a minute.” Sorand approached and extended his hands to hover on either side of Xaja’s head. “This might be uncomfortable, considering how deep the damage is…”

Theron frowned worriedly as he watched Sorand move up. Xaja felt him squeeze her hand again. “Do you think you can heal it entirely?”

“Maybe. At the very least, I should get an idea of just how bad it is. A scan only does so much.” Sorand paused, then Force-called another chair to himself and sat down. “This might take a while.”

Xaja shuddered at the first sensation of cold trickling down from Sorand’s hands, under her skin and through her muscles, into her bones themselves. “Sorry,” Sorand muttered as he felt the shiver. “Jedi aren’t fans of Dark Side healing, are they?”

“I can’t afford to be picky, brother. Do what you need to do.”

“Okay.” The cold shifted, sinking further into her muscles and centering around her spine. It then crawled up the column, seeping into her brain, where she winced as it flooded over the inside of her skull. Sorand paused briefly over the bright point that was Theron. “Hmm, that’s interesting,” he mumbled as he continued his examination. “Not connected, but… huh.” He left the bond untouched, brushing against an area of Xaja’s mind that was dark and locked — all the memories that she had pushed away, shoved down where they couldn’t hurt her. But even the brush was enough to make her feel the terror of a seven-year-old girl as the Jedi Temple fell around her; the horror of a child pulling the trigger on a blaster and feeling a life in the Force vanish; the rage and fear and grief mingled from Vitiate’s station… Even the echo of the old Emperor’s presence made her shudder, a tear escaping her eyes. She felt Theron lift her hand through the fog and gently kiss it, his worry a tendril in the Force that she grasped and clung to for her own sanity.

“Sorry,” Sorand muttered again. The cold backed away from that part of Xaja’s mind, then went crept down her spine, spreading out through her nerves. “Whoa… that’s not good.” The Jedi hissed in pain as she felt what could be best described as a pinch, deep within one of her back muscles. “Okay, yeah, this is really going to hurt. I’m sorry, Xaja.”

And then her world erupted in pain. Starting at her spine and spreading outward like a terribly cold fire, it twisted everything it touched. Xaja couldn’t tell if the agony was due to the poison in her body, or the Dark Side being used so deeply within her, no matter how benevolent her brother’s purpose -- possibly some combination of the above. She bit down hard on her lip and tasted blood, tears trailing down her face. It was the pain of the Force-heals offered by Sorand or Lana on Rishi and Yavin, amplified numerous times over. She almost would have rather taken the carbonite poisoning seizures over this attempt at healing.

“Hold on.” Sorand’s voice sounded strained. “Think I might’ve found… something?…” There was a new burst of cold flame at the base of Xaja’s skull, drawing a whimper of pain. “If I can… oh, shit…”

Purple fire exploded across her vision, followed by blackness.

When she opened her eyes again, it was to Theron kneeling in front of her, hazel eyes wide with panic. “Kimble, I think she’s conscious,” he said as he frantically brushed his hands through her hair and over her face. “C’mon, sweetheart, look at me. Give me something, Xaja, please…”

“Theron?” Why was that one word so hard for her to say? Her entire mouth felt like it was made of heavy durasteel, and that was still preferable to the pulses of pain up and down her spine.

Theron sagged in relief, and was immediately shoved to the side as Doc knelt beside him. “Look at me, Red. How many fingers am I holding up?”

Xaja squinted around the pounding in her head. “… Three?…”

“Attagirl. You know where we are?”

Black walls and ceiling. Red accents everywhere. A woman in green beskar’gam crouching beside a tall, lanky man in black robes. Xaja blinked. “Dromund Kaas. Sorand… tried to heal me… carbonite poisoning…”

Doc sighed, the strain easing out of his shoulders somewhat. “Oh, good, you’re still with us. You’ve been unconscious for the better part of twenty minutes, and your brother only just came to a bit ago.”

“Told you it was gonna hurt,” Sorand interjected from his chair. He wearily sat up straighter, still looking like he was carrying the weight of the entire Empire on his shoulders, and seemed grateful for Shara helping him up. “Just didn’t think it was going to hit both of us like that.”

Xaja winced. “Sorry --”

“Don’t you even start. My idea, remember?” Sorand sighed and raked his hands through his hair. His nerftail had come loose, leaving his long dark hair free on his shoulders. “Don’t let me have ideas again.”

That earned a tired smirk from the Jedi. She gratefully leaned into Theron’s shoulder as the spy moved beside her and tried to grab for his hand, then paused when she saw the still-red marks on her skin. “What…”

“Yeah, you were holding onto Theron’s hand tightly enough that his gloves kinda left indents in your skin. I’m pretty sure he might’ve lost feeling in a couple fingers.” Doc offered a tight, worried smile.

“My hand’s fine,” Theron quickly said, and made a point of gently holding Xaja’s own hand in his palm. “Don’t worry about me, Xaja. I’m more concerned about you.” He looked at Sorand, his forehead creased. “What’d you figure out while you were in there?”

“So… bad news.” Sorand finally seemed to be regaining his composure. “It’s… yeah, it’s bad, beyond my skill to heal. I’m sorry, Xaja — I wish I could fix it all for you.” He grimaced at her in sympathy. “But, there’s a bit of good news: I think I might have slowed down the progression of the toxins, at least for a little while. And the damage is such that, in theory, if we had strong enough healers -- maybe a group of them -- we might be able to reverse it.”

That burst of hope almost made Xaja forget about the lingering pain. “Really? It’s reversible?”

“In theory. And we’d need a group of healers at least as strong as me, if not more so. It’s too much for one healer to fix on their own.” Sorand offered her a small smile. “We’ll find that group. I don’t care who I have to blackmail or order into it.”

“If we can find any Jedi healers still alive…” Theron muttered in thought as his other hand started stroking through Xaja’s hair. “I can’t see many Sith being willing to heal a Jedi even if ordered to.”

“There’s the Voss as an option. Or some Zakuulans have defected and turned traitor against the Eternal Throne. Perhaps there’s healers hidden there.” Sorand finally stood up, using Shara as a support. “We’ll find something, Xaja. I promise.”

#drastic measures #dromund kaas #korin finally gets a scene!#and he totally stole Tee-Seven #enter Hylo and Zenith and Vette!#Sorand is the best baby brother ever #Force-healing's a bitch #ow #the stakes are high #what do you mean I'm not as big a bounty as Agent Walking Disaster is??#featuring dialogue written by Clan Piranha #we have a plan!#Theron is worth all the cookies #don't tell Spydad I said that #so much snark #all the snark #theron/xaja #and yes T7 will totally tattle on Korin to Xaja #Tee-Seven is a little brother in droid form

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sanctferum · 7 years

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Dangan Ronpa V3: Chapter 4 Deadly Life

Last time we saw a very familiar phrase in connection with the Virtual World, we turned into Funko Pops, and someone killed Miu. And considering how obvious suspects they are, it probably wasn’t Kaito or Kokichi. Kokichi definitely had something to do with it, but I don’t think he’s the actual blackened. Also, we cut away from him leaving the Virtual World before we could hear what he said into the telephone. Is it possible that his name is something other than what we’ve been told?

Miu’s body…her hands are clasped around her neck as if she was gasping for air. Her eyes are widen open in panic. It looked like she suffered. Kokichi agrees, though he’s rather gleeful about it.

Keebo was the first to log out. Miu was still wearing the helmet at the time, and her body was contorting into an awful position. Maki was the next one to log out. Keebo and Maki took off Miu’s helmet…and then, she was dead.

Monophanie is trying to get Monotaro to get a hold of himself, but Monotaro is too busy mourning his “mommy”.

Himiko never thought Miu would be killed. Even when her avatar had stopped moving, Himiko didn’t want to believe it. Himiko, Keebo, and Maki were together when they found Miu’s motionless avatar. Miu had split off to look around the outside of the chapel for clues, which is strange…as the search was finishing up, with nothing found, there was a noise. A loud noise, just like the one we heard at the mansion. The chapel vibrated as if something had hit it from the outside. But we heard the sound from the mansion, all the way across the other map.

Himiko, Maki, and Keebo rushed outside. Near the side of the chapel, Miu was lying motionless. And the group couldn’t check on her real body, because the signboard bridge was gone. Which means none of the chapel group could’ve logged out and done anything to Miu. Except, Tsumugi saw Miu near the mansion, which means that there was a way to get around…

Kokichi asks Gonta who he thinks the culprit is. He doesn’t know. He’s still deep in grief, and self-loathing over not being able to prevent this. Kokichi encourages him to help everyone find the culprit. Something weird happened between the two, I’m sure. Kokichi has some trick up his sleeve.

Kaito tries to explain things, despite Kokichi’s provocations. Right before he was logged out, when Kaito was on the rooftop, a circle lit up under him. He was sucked into it, and woke up in the computer room. The same thing that happened with the rest of us, except we were talking into the telephone, in the salon. Then, Kaito realized he was pretty tired, so he went to the dorms to sleep. This was at around dawn. Then the body discovery announcement woke him up and he rushed over here. He didn’t pay particular attention to everyone else when he woke up from the Virtual World, so he has no clues about Miu’s condition at the time. Kokichi seems delighted at this lackluster alibi.

Meanwhile, Maki is investigating the computer. She has no idea how the Virtual World program works, but she did find a text file on the computer. A text file with the basic features of the program. The Killing Game Simulator is based off of another program, called the Neo World Program. While this is the most intriguing part of the whole thing to me, the Ultimates have never heard of it, and don’t have any reason to think anything of it. In the Killing Game Simulator, objects can’t break. Your body’s senses are connected to your avatar, but the avatar cannot be harmed…any damage it takes will instead afflict the actual body in the real world. Which means if your avatar receives fatal damage, your body will die of shock. I just assumed it was the same as the Neo World Program, which is why I never noticed that Miu never directly told anyone that detail. Everything else about the Virtual World is the same, including the laws of physics. So you can’t warp places, or use special transportation like mounts. But that clearly contradicts what Tsumugi saw…

Kokichi wonders out loud if someone could have rewritten the text file to have incorrect information. But how would anyone determine that? Monotaro volunteers. In order to find out who killed his “mommy”, he’s gonna help us with the investigation. Monophanie tells him not to, but Monotaro brushes her off. Monotaro’s forgotten that Monophanie is someone he’s supposed to care about, and that he has no mother. Monophanie says there’s someone she needs to protect, and leaves. Shuichi has his doubts over the whole thing, but Kokichi bursts out the crocodile tears, forcing everyone to just let Monotaro do his thing. Monotaro gets to work right away. The text file wasn’t altered. Also, Monotaro found a file with the times of everyone logging in and out. This doesn’t look like it was altered either.

The file seems to be accurate. It has all of us logging in within a few minutes of each other, Kaito logging out before everyone else, and everyone else but Miu logging out one by one near 7 AM.

And one final thing. Some parts of the program were rewritten. Presumably by Miu. She did say she’d deleted weaponry and stuff…well, as long as Monotaro figures out just what was rewritten by the time the trial’s about to start, we’re good.

Kokichi is busy crying crocodile tears over how much Monotaro loved Miu and how he’ll never forgive whoever killed her, so we can safely ignore him.

Keebo’s still thinking about the secret of the outside world that we never found. Before we can get too far onto the topic, Kokichi provokes Keebo, and steers the conversation away from whatever the secret might be.

Tsumugi has had a bad feeling about this ever since seeing Miu from the dining hall window of the mansion. Kokichi once again prevents the conversation from progressing smoothly. He also asks Tsumugi what she did after she thought she saw Miu. Tsumugi went back to work, but it really was bothering her, so ten minutes later she went to confide in Shuichi about it. And that’s when the loud noise occurred. And after we rushed into the entrance hall, we heard Keebo’s voice outside. But both Miu and Keebo were trapped on the other side of the river, so something weird is up.

Kokichi thinks the only way that’s possible is if Tsumugi was lying. But we can attest that we also heard Keebo’s voice.

Kaito wants to know more details. After we heard Keebo’s voice, we headed back to the chapel. Along the way, we found Gonta, and then Kokichi, and when we got to the bridge, the signboard was still missing and Keebo, Maki, and Himiko were on the other side. Gonta went and grabbed the signboard, on Kokichi’s advice.

The visors are scattered all around. Some still plugged in, some not. Weren’t they all supposed to be unplugged now that we’ve logged out? Also, there’s what Miu said about mixing the consciousness and memory plugs up. It would cause a glitch, most likely. Let’s keep that in mind.

Finally, the small bottle on one of the seats. Just as I suspected, it’s one of the bottles from the shelf in Shuichi’s lab. Poison…

Kokichi secretly went to Shuichi’s lab and looked at all the poison and all the files. You know, just in case someone else uses them.

The poison is pretty lethal. But it has to be taken directly, because it becomes neutralized when diluted. The volume of non-diluted poison needed to kill someone is very very small. Even if someone only sipped a bit, it would be immediate death. And if Miu was logged in, and has no external injuries, and no way of controlling her real body…The poison causes a small blood vessel under the conjunctiva to explode, causing the whites of your eyes turn blood red. The conjunctiva is, thank you dictionary, the eye membrane.

Kokichi suggests Shuichi acknowledge him as his partner already. Shuichi tries to ignore him.

Who brought the poison here? Who knows. But it was left on Kokichi’s chair, which is certainly suspicious.

We’re done investigating the crime scene, it seems. But the real crime scene could be in the virtual world, too. So we gotta go back in. Kaito and Keebo want to join us. So does Himiko. Maki is gonna stay here, and so is Gonta. Sounds like Tsumugi is coming with us too.

Kokichi suddenly declares that he’ll also stay behind. To keep an eye on Maki…personally, I’m hoping Maki keeps an eye on him.

Himiko is still worried about getting the cords wrong. Tsumugi suggests she use a visor that’s already set up.

After another Neo World Program loading message, we’re in. We can only log in and out from the salon, which means we gotta investigate the rooftop to see how Kaito was logged out without being anywhere near the telephone.

Kaito doesn’t mind the graphics here, because this body is cool. No doubt because this body has none of his real body’s health issues.

Let’s look at the maps again. The mansion, where Kokichi investigated the salon, Tsumugi investigated the dining room, Kaito investigated the roof, and Gonta looked around the outside. Could Kokichi have done something to the phone that logged Kaito out?

The world map is surrounded by walls, and has a loading point in the middle. No sight or sounds can pass through the loading point, and to get from the mansion to the chapel, you have to go through the loading point, and crossing the river is part and parcel of that.

Outside the mansion, Keebo notices the toilet paper roll we saw on our way out. Keebo thought someone might have come here to poop, but it’s awfully cold for anyone to do so. Besides, avatars don’t need to go to the bathroom.

Kaito didn’t know that the signboard was recovered. Shuichi tells him that the signboard was caught on some rocks and was able to be recovered. But the rocks were on the mansion side of the map…the river flows onto the chapel side of the map. Hmmm.

At the chapel, Miu’s avatar is lying face-down in the snow. Doesn’t look like the crime scene was altered in any way. But, there’s a bunch of objects scattered around Miu’s avatar.

At one point, Keebo heard a strange whispering. Shortly before everyone went their separate ways, Miu, Kokichi, and Gonta had a whispered conversation. We couldn’t hear what they were saying at the time, but Keebo did. Kokichi and Miu had plans to meet each other somewhere. The rooftop was mentioned. I note that Keebo didn’t hear which rooftop, and is just assuming that it was the mansion’s.

Miu volunteered to search around the chapel, which seemed odd then, and is even odder if Kokichi and Miu planned to meet on the rooftop of the mansion. Hmmm. Let’s assume that it was the chapel rooftop. Miu has strange objects surrounding her avatar. A board, a hammer, and some other item. And there was a loud noise, and an impact felt in the chapel. But if Kokichi pushed Miu off the chapel roof, like I’m starting to suspect, where does the poison come in?

Speaking of the hammer. That could be used to kill, so how come it’s here, if Miu deleted all dangerous objects? Was she lying? Was Miu lured to her death not as an innocent victim, but someone who planned to become the blackened?

The mysterious object I couldn’t identify is a cellphone. And if we consider the other phone in this world…it must be able to log someone out instantaneously. Which means that even if the bridge was lost, Miu could have logged out, and logged back in into the salon. Maybe the log-out records were only for the phone in the salon? But if that’s the case, how did Kaito get logged out without using the cellphone or phone?

Ah…Shuichi says Kaito’s name into the phone, and Kaito logs out. Which means Miu must have been the one to log Kaito out, right? And it works on people other than yourself, so that’s gotta be it.

There’s a piece of lattice lying next to Miu’s body. I thought it was a board, but…I remember there being a piece of lattice in the mansion roof’s storage shed. Perhaps it was used to cross the river…in which case, Miu logged herself out with the phone, logged back in, went to the roof, grabbed the lattice, crossed the river with it, and took it back to the chapel? But we didn’t see any record of Miu logging out, whereas there was a record of Kaito logging out. So that can’t be it.

Miu’s avatar…it will disappear when she logs out. But since she’s dead, she will never be able to log out. Perhaps the avatar would disappear if we said “Miu Iruma” into the cell phone. In any case, she shows no signs of injuries, since the avatars can’t be hurt.

Avatars can hide objects just like in the real world, by putting stuff in their clothes. So we wouldn’t necessarily have seen Miu with the cellphone.

Back to the mansion to investigate the rooftop. As we walk in, Kaito exits the salon room, pretty angry at us. After he calms down, we go to investigate the rooftop. Kaito goes to look at Miu’s avatar, since he got interrupted last time he tried.

The doorknob on the door to the roof is locked. It can only be locked from the outside.

Keebo says he would be unable to get up or down from the roof to the ground without injury. So the stairs are the only way up or down.

Using the binoculars, we can see that the building is on top of a hill. We can’t see past the map loading point. But why is the loading point in the middle of the world map? Something’s odd about that.

And then the storage room, with it’s sudden lack of lattice. But we don’t appear to remember what the storage room had in it in the first place, so we can’t notice that the lattice was in it and is now at the chapel.

As we finish up on the rooftop, Maki comes up the stairs to tell us that Monotaro finished analyzing the program.

As we’re about to go leave, Maki says that we’re very reliably in a class trial, much moreso than out of one. But…Shuichi might be Ultimate Detective, but he shouldn’t carry the burden of figuring out the case alone. Before he’s a detective, he is a person…though Maki laments that she’s a hypocrite for saying so. She threw away her identity as the person named Maki Harukawa to become the Ultimate Assassin, after all.

We go to the salon, where Maki mentions that Kaito looked like he was in a bad mood after logging out earlier. Then the two of us log out.

Back in the real world, we confront Kokichi about his planned meeting with Miu. Kokichi says he never went to the rooftop, because it was locked when he tried. Hmmm.

There’s no proof that Kokichi went back to the salon when he was done, but there’s also no proof he didn’t.

As for Monotaro’s analysis…the person who modified the program was Miu. She deleted a bunch of objects. All possible weapons…except for the hammer. And the way the program was written, it looks like she didn’t just forget to delete the hammer. She left it there on purpose.

The cell phone was originally part of the program, so Miu didn’t have to add it. And Miu definitely didn’t tell us about the cell phone.

Miu added only two things – the maps.

Monotaro didn’t find anything other than the signboard that could be used as a bridge.

Miu also changed certain paremeters. Everything in the program is either human or object. Everyone’s avatar was assigned the human paremeter (even Keebo’s). Except for one. Miu gave her own avatar the paremeter “non-human object”. It’s for identification purposes, so it shouldn’t have affected anything in practical terms. So why did she do it?

Miu also added something else besides the maps. A wall. The loading point?

No, something is weird here. It’s not the loading point…

Wait, the wall she added…was it one of the outer walls? Maybe…the reason there’s only one wall added but one wall on either side of the map, making two walls total, is because the world originally looped around at that point. In which case, the reason we heard the banging sound and Keebo’s exclamation…

Oh. The wall had an additional setting. A setting that allowed objects to move through it, but not people. Which means Miu didn’t need a bridge to get around, if my loop theory is right.

And Miu didn’t stop there. She also fiddled with the avatars. She changed one of the avatars so that it would be unable to move if Miu touched that person. That person was Kokichi.

And one last thing. There was a strange error at one point. When everyone logged in for the first time, there was an avatar user error. But the contents of the error are unknown. Something weird happened to someone’s avatar when we logged in.

Before we can move to another area – such as our own lab – the trial bell rings. Monokuma seems exhausted, like all his energy was drained away.

Monotaro declares that he’s our friend now. When the trial is over, he wants to get to know us better. He’s gonna be the one to die during the execution, isn’t he…Himiko even points out how much his line sounds like a death flag. Monotaro proceeds to deliver several more lines, each raising the death flag higher and higher.

We go to the Shrine of Judgement. Everyone’s lives are on the line. It’s all up to us. But Kaito thinks we shouldn’t carry the burden alone. Before he can continue to encourage us Kokichi tells him to step off and stop bothering us. Maki tells him to stop and accompanies it with a signature glare.

Kaito reaffirms that we can come to him if we have any problems, but if we say we’re fine, then he’ll stand back and just believe in us.

We arrive at the courtroom. Monotaro looks like he got punished by Monokuma while we were traveling to the Shrine. His head is full of bruises, and he’s forgotten that he’s our friend.

Ah, Monophanie smacked him until he forgot that he forgot whose side he was on. OK.

Well, we have no choice but to find Miu’s killer. Let’s go…next time!

#Dangan Ronpa #Dangan Ronpa V3 #Danganronpa V3

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preciousmetals0 · 5 years

Text

Trump Touts Containment; Investors Ain’t Having It

Trump Touts Containment; Investors Ain’t Having It:

Going to California

There was an attempt last night to assuage growing coronavirus fears in the U.S. But that attempt went over like a lead balloon.

Following the fifth consecutive drop in U.S. markets, President Donald Trump expressed a whole lotta love for the nation. Trump assured everyone: “Because of all we’ve done the risk to the American people remains very low.”

“We have quarantined those infected and those at risk,” he said. “We are rapidly developing a vaccine. The vaccine is coming along well.”

Unfortunately for Trump, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) announced that not quite everyone was quarantined in the U.S. The CDC revealed the discovery of a patient with no direct ties to the coronavirus’s immigrant song outbreak.

In other words, this particular infection didn’t come from over the hills and far away … it was home-grown near San Francisco, California.

News of the unrelated outbreak hit Wall Street hard today, sparking another sharp sell-off. Investors are particularly concerned that, when the levee breaks on the coronavirus in the U.S., the economy could face a recession … one that even central bankers will be unable to fix.

But President Trump is no fool in the rain. He provided no quarter for the outlook on the COVID-19 outbreak in the U.S.

“There’s a chance it could get worse; there’s a chance it could get fairly substantially worse, but nothing’s inevitable,” the president said.

The Takeaway:

Nothing’s inevitable? Death and taxes would like to have a word with you, President Trump.

I won’t ramble on about the coronavirus like I have in the past. With more than 10 years gone, the bull market is sick again. Very sick.

The Dow has plunged more than 9% in the past four days, setting Wall Street’s favorite barometer back to levels last seen in October 2019. The Dow’s next line in the sand appears to be the 25,750 to 26,000 region.

This area is home to the Dow’s October 2019 lows and could provide short-term support for stocks.

So, if you’re looking for a short-term positive for the broader market, that’d be it. A move below 25,750 would be a heartbreaker for the market and a potential sign that things will get much worse.

Right now, you might be dazed and confused, wondering: “Hey … hey, what can I do?”

If you’re a regular Great Stuff reader, you already know what to do. Continue moving out of riskier, aggressive investments — like that winger you took on Virgin Galactic Holdings Inc. (NYSE: SPCE) — and get yourself into more conservative investments … such as gold or bonds.

If you’re not sure what is and what should never be when it comes to investing in gold and bonds, the iShares 20+ Year Treasury Bond ETF (Nasdaq: TLT) and the SPDR Gold Trust (NYSE: GLD) exchange-traded funds (ETFs) are great places to start.

But, if you’re feeling particularly trampled underfoot with the market sell-off, there’s no reason to visit the gallows pole. The experts at Banyan Hill are here to guide you through Wall Street’s communication breakdown!

For instance, it doesn’t matter if the market experiences good times, bad times … you know we’ve all had our share … mega tech trends such as 5G and electric vehicles aren’t down for the count. No sirree, Bob!

If you invest in the right mega tech trend stocks, your time is gonna come, and Ian King’s Automatic Fortunes can help get you there.

You can find out more about Ian’s tech trend research here.

But… (And there’s always a but, isn’t there?)

If this virus shebang has you fighting the battle of evermore, you don’t want to miss out on what may turn into a prime time to buy. In that case, Jeff Yastine’s research is just what the plague doctor ordered.

Jeff knows how to spot standout companies trading for pennies on the dollar — and there are a lot of those out there right now.

You can find out more about Jeff’s research by clicking right here.

Going: Penney for Your Thoughts

If you had told me yesterday that J.C. Penney Co. Inc. (NYSE: JCP) would be one of today’s hottest stocks … I’d have probably called you crazy. And yet, here we are … watching JCP shares rally amid another Wall Street bloodbath.

The department store hasn’t had the best track record in the earnings confessional in the past year, but Santa Claus apparently took pity on Penney. The company reported a surprise fourth-quarter profit of $0.13 per share, blowing away consensus expectations for a loss of $0.06 per share.

Revenue was also better than expected, falling 7.9% to $3.49 billion, but it still arrived ahead of Wall Street’s $3.38 billion target. Same-store sales dropped 7% on the quarter but were better than the expected 7.3% decline.

Finally, Penney indicated that the worst may have finally passed in its turnaround efforts. The retailer forecast same-store sales to fall a mild 3.5% to 4.5% for 2020, halving the consensus target for a 7.7% decline.

Clearly, J.C. Penney isn’t out of the woods just yet, but it’s finally making some headway. If the company can continue to progress with turnaround plans amid the coronavirus outbreak, it may finally be time to take Penney seriously again.

Going: Be Best

Strong prior-quarter results are no longer enough to cut it in this coronavirus world. Just ask Best Buy Co. Inc. (NYSE: BBY).

The big-box electronics retailer reported strong fourth-quarter results. Earnings rose 7% to $2.90 per share, while revenue sallied 3% higher to $15.2 billion. Both figures easily topped analyst expectations.

Best Buy’s earnings and revenue beats are even more impressive when you consider the company’s 2019 struggles with Chinese tariffs and the trade war. Best Buy has an extensive supply chain in China.

But it’s out of the fire and into the frying pan, with the coronavirus sweeping across China like a Mongol horde. “As we enter fiscal 2021, we are closely monitoring the developments related to the coronavirus outbreak,” said Chief Financial Officer Matt Bilunas.

Best Buy expects 2020 earnings of $6.20 per share on sales of $43.8 billion. “Our guidance ranges for both Q1 and the full year reflect our best estimates of the [coronavirus] impacts at this time,” noted Bilunas.

Both figures were well below Wall Street’s expectations — which seems odd, considering that analysts know Best Buy’s China situation. Personally, I see this as more proof that Wall Street hasn’t completely accepted the full potential impact of the virus.

Keep an eye on Best Buy. The company is strong and well-run, meaning you could find a diamond in the rough if you jump on BBY shares at the right time.

Gone: Shut the Windows

And the list continues to grow…

Last week, I told you about how Apple Inc. (Nasdaq: AAPL) was the canary in the coal mine regarding coronavirus warnings. Today, Microsoft Corp. (Nasdaq: MSFT) joined the party.

“Although we see strong Windows demand in line with our expectations, the supply chain is returning to normal operations at a slower pace than anticipated at the time of our Q2 earnings call,” the company said in a statement. That second-quarter earnings call was just last month. My, how quickly things can change.

So, what’s the impact? The company says that its personal computing, Windows and Surface sales will not be up to snuff due to the virus outbreak. Microsoft’s personal computing unit accounted for 36% of total revenue last quarter, meaning that a slowdown here could materially hamper current-quarter results.

MSFT shares were punished hard for the warning, but ol’ Softy will be back — you can bet on that. Remember, Microsoft is the company that outlived the dot-com bust … and several other market disasters along the way.

That’s right, Great Stuff readers … this sell-off in MSFT is a buying opportunity. Maybe not right now. The market has a pretty nasty cold. But if you hold MSFT, there’s no reason to sell. In fact, look for opportunities to buy … just be careful about when.

Rabble, rabble, rabble. It’s time for Great Stuff readers to babble!

Welcome to your weekly Reader Feedback!

This week, we asked you for your thoughts on Warren Buffett, the market and the coronavirus. So, let’s get things kickin’, shall we?

China’s West Province

Howz it goin’!

– Don’t follow Buffett, he makes most of his money selling puts, or he just buys the companies, or he waits for the leeches to come to him and rips them off … lol.

– If Trump is still president, S&P 500 will be up.

– If you mean corona viral market, I have my own gauge. When hundreds of infections start showing up here in China’s west province … British Columbia, Canada … lol (sad but true ), then I’ll start worrying ’cause there has to be a few full 747s coming in daily.

– Like your newsletter, read it every night.

Keep up the good work.

Cheers!

Tony D.

Here’s a guy who followed this week’s assignment to the letter. You get an A+, Tony.

I, too, will start to really worry when hundreds of infections start showing up in North America. With today’s news of a spreading infection near San Francisco, I’m thinking you might get pinched from below … instead of air-dropped from Chinese 747s.

Stay safe, brother, and thanks for reading Great Stuff!

Plug Into Options

Hi, I really enjoy Great Stuff, and Profits Unlimited has made me some money. Would Joseph like any comments on Tesla from an options trader?

Gary F.

’Sup, Gary! So, you want to trade Tesla Inc. (Nasdaq: TSLA) options … hmmm. You know, you haven’t picked the best market time to consider this option, right? Volatility is through the roof right now. That means that Tesla options (heck, all options) are a bit expensive.

Thirty-day volatility on TSLA right now is higher than 90% of all readings taken in the past year. In layman’s terms, that’s pretty high, and TSLA options are expensive.

Remember, Gary, options trading is not for the faint of heart. And your strategy depends on what you want to get out of the trade. Are you looking to own Tesla stock at a lower price? Or, are you looking to profit from TSLA’s decline or rally?

Basic options strategies like buying calls or puts are going to be rough in a high-volatility environment. You’ll pay a lot and miss out on returns because of it. But, if I were forced to trade TSLA options, I would probably look at short-term puts … maybe in April or May, just to give myself some breathing room.

But that’s only if I were forced to trade TSLA options. I’m not forced, so I won’t.

By the way, Gary, I see you have Profits Unlimited … did you know that Paul Mampilly also has an options trading research service? If you’re interested in TSLA options, you should really check out Rebound Profit Trader.

You can find out more by clicking here.

All right, Gary wore me out. I’m sorry if I didn’t get to your question today. I’ll try to hit you up next week, so keep writing in!

And if you haven’t written in yet … what’s stopping you? Drop me a line at [email protected], and let me know how you’re doing out there in this crazy market.

That’s a wrap for today. But if you’re still craving more Great Stuff, you can check us out on social media: Facebook and Twitter.

Until next time, good trading!

Regards,

Joseph Hargett

Editor, Great Stuff

0 notes

goldira01 · 5 years

Link

Going to California

There was an attempt last night to assuage growing coronavirus fears in the U.S. But that attempt went over like a lead balloon.

“We have quarantined those infected and those at risk,” he said. “We are rapidly developing a vaccine. The vaccine is coming along well.”

In other words, this particular infection didn’t come from over the hills and far away … it was home-grown near San Francisco, California.

But President Trump is no fool in the rain. He provided no quarter for the outlook on the COVID-19 outbreak in the U.S.

“There’s a chance it could get worse; there’s a chance it could get fairly substantially worse, but nothing’s inevitable,” the president said.

The Takeaway:

Nothing’s inevitable? Death and taxes would like to have a word with you, President Trump.

I won’t ramble on about the coronavirus like I have in the past. With more than 10 years gone, the bull market is sick again. Very sick.

This area is home to the Dow’s October 2019 lows and could provide short-term support for stocks.

Right now, you might be dazed and confused, wondering: “Hey … hey, what can I do?”

If you invest in the right mega tech trend stocks, your time is gonna come, and Ian King’s Automatic Fortunes can help get you there.

You can find out more about Ian’s tech trend research here.

But… (And there’s always a but, isn’t there?)

Jeff knows how to spot standout companies trading for pennies on the dollar — and there are a lot of those out there right now.

You can find out more about Jeff’s research by clicking right here.

Going: Penney for Your Thoughts

Going: Be Best

Strong prior-quarter results are no longer enough to cut it in this coronavirus world. Just ask Best Buy Co. Inc. (NYSE: BBY).

Keep an eye on Best Buy. The company is strong and well-run, meaning you could find a diamond in the rough if you jump on BBY shares at the right time.

Gone: Shut the Windows

And the list continues to grow…

Last week, I told you about how Apple Inc. (Nasdaq: AAPL) was the canary in the coal mine regarding coronavirus warnings. Today, Microsoft Corp. (Nasdaq: MSFT) joined the party.

Rabble, rabble, rabble. It’s time for Great Stuff readers to babble!

Welcome to your weekly Reader Feedback!

This week, we asked you for your thoughts on Warren Buffett, the market and the coronavirus. So, let��s get things kickin’, shall we?

China’s West Province

Howz it goin’!

– Don’t follow Buffett, he makes most of his money selling puts, or he just buys the companies, or he waits for the leeches to come to him and rips them off … lol.

– If Trump is still president, S&P 500 will be up.

– Like your newsletter, read it every night.

Keep up the good work.

Cheers!

Tony D.

Here’s a guy who followed this week’s assignment to the letter. You get an A+, Tony.

Stay safe, brother, and thanks for reading Great Stuff!

Plug Into Options

Hi, I really enjoy Great Stuff, and Profits Unlimited has made me some money. Would Joseph like any comments on Tesla from an options trader?

Gary F.

Thirty-day volatility on TSLA right now is higher than 90% of all readings taken in the past year. In layman’s terms, that’s pretty high, and TSLA options are expensive.

But that’s only if I were forced to trade TSLA options. I’m not forced, so I won’t.

You can find out more by clicking here.

All right, Gary wore me out. I’m sorry if I didn’t get to your question today. I’ll try to hit you up next week, so keep writing in!

And if you haven’t written in yet … what’s stopping you? Drop me a line at [email protected], and let me know how you’re doing out there in this crazy market.

That’s a wrap for today. But if you’re still craving more Great Stuff, you can check us out on social media: Facebook and Twitter.

Until next time, good trading!

Regards,

Joseph Hargett

Editor, Great Stuff

#Timor Invest

0 notes

thebogdanone · 5 years

Text

Short play from overheard...

(Miles and Scott are on their way to work. It's early, just past dawn, on a gloomy morning in London. They work in finance. They are both in their early 20's and are living the rather mundane lives of the work-a-day world but they work for a mysterious woman who runs a hedge fund. They are two of her staff of 18: all males, all brilliant, all in their early 20's. Neither Miles nor Scott can figure their boss out. She dresses as though she is heading out for an elegant evening every single day. She is in her early 50's (they guess) and she is rather stunning. She is always 100% put together; they have never seen her in jeans with hair pulled back and no make-up. When she arrives at the office (every single day at 7:45 sharp!) she spends 30 minutes at her computer — 30 minutes exactly — then she comes out of her office and into the board room where the entire staff have a morning meeting, every morning, at 8:15. The meeting lasts exactly 45 minutes — never longer and never shorter. She never raises her voice, she is always very clear with her instructions, and she is very polite when asking and answering questions. Needless to day moral in the office is excellent as are quarterly results. No one complains because everyone knows exactly what is expected of them. It’s like they are all living in a dorm and working on a senior finance project every single day. Then their boss leaves for the majority of the work day. She returns promptly at 4:15 PM. She is never late.)

(Blaring loudspeaker at the bus terminal)

Transit employee: "Attention please. All bus and tramway services are delayed due to dispatch problems. Again, all bus and tramway services are delayed due to dispatch problems. STB apologizes for the inconvenience and thanks you for your patience."

Scott: "Freaking great. What the hell is wrong with this city? We can't be late again.”

Miles: "Relax man, we've got time. Sooooo...how was the big date?"

Scott: "Yeah, we ended up not going."

Miles: "WTF...please don't tell me you chickened out."

Scott: "Naw man...its me, my head. I'm so F-ed up. I called her and cancelled when I walked by the theater on my way home and saw the line. I overheard someone say: 'They’re not getting in. There’s no way.' and I just thought it would be some weird, awkward moment standing in a line with a human I don't actually know and so I called her — at least I didn't text — and told her I had to work late. I know, I know, schmuck."

Miles: "What is your problem. Do you want to die a virgin?"

Scott: "At this point I think that may be my reality...really, my head is just so screwed up. Last night AGAIN I was just, like, running circles in my head. I couldn’t sleep. It’s terrible. All this week I’ve been so worried about work with the emails and all her visitors…I get like 200 a day and I can’t even read them until after our morning meetings. I don’t know. I really wish she was more into [inaudible] because this would all be going much better if she was."

Miles: "Dude, WTF, she is the most amazing boss. We have the cushiest jobs in all of London's finance district. Really! I mean why are you stressing. Most of the guys would die to be her assistant. You have got to relax. Take it easy. She is so chill...Shit man, we work for 'Madame Chill' for god’s sake!"

Scott: "Yeah man that's just it...maybe that IS IT! Maybe she's a madame!"

Miles: "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??? That chick Daisy you were supposed to go out with? Why the hell would you say she's a madame?"

Scott: "No! Idiot! Marnie, our boss, stupid! I'm serious…maybe…maybe she's a madame…?"

Miles: "What the fuck ever gave you that idea, man? You are nuts! She's a smart trust fund kid who decided she wanted to wear the pants and so she invested well, hired us idiots to manage her investments, and her life, and she goes off each day doing her thing. Shite, I think she deserves to do whatever she pleases — hair, nails, meet a man...whatever...as long as we all do our jobs and get paid. Why on earth would you be thinking that about her...your head really is screwed up!"

(Miles now moves around to look Scott in the eyes in an attempt to better evaluate this situation...)

Miles: "Really man I am worried about you..where is all of this coming from?"

Scott: "Naw man...really...you should see her personal date book…and what's even weirder is I think she is a madame for a stable of male prostitutes! No shite! The other day she was on the phone saying: 'I didn’t say Bogdan was getting fat; I said he was getting fatter!' and then she said 'maybe we should send him to that place in Florida for awhile and let Harrison take over his accounts.’ Come on Miles...what the hell do you think she is talking about? (more anxious, agitated and confused now...) I mean if she has another office of boys just like us she would not be discussing replacing brains in finance because they are getting fat...or would she...all these healthy lunch options and that new gym installed last year...maybe she's a fatist! That's IT! She's a fatist! Fuck...I knew it..."

Miles: Dude…man…dude…hold on there and calm the fuck down...your brain is firing on all pistons and revving out of control! A Madame...a stable of boys...a fatist...you really need calm down and I honestly think you need to see someone. This is insane thinking! Marnie is just a relaxed woman who has come into her own. Life is good for her and in turn it’s good for me...and for you too. We are the fortunate ones! Have you ever seen that woman get upset or ever raise her voice past her rather seductive default whisper? No. I bet you have not! Just because she is unconventional does not mean she is up to things untoward.

Scott: (running his hands through his hair and trying to shake himself out of it...) "I know, I know…man, I need ta charge my phone...is that a plug...what the heck is that thing? Do you know what that’s connected to? Wait; don’t TOUCH it!...I thinks it’s live! Shite I gotta get my head back to rights...I nearly electrocuted us!"

Miles: "Hey man, why don't we just sit over there and listen to some of my tracks. I downloaded these two new songs and they're kinda like modern manele."

(Scott takes ear pods from Miles)

Scott: "I’m sorry but cowboy music is nothing like manele.” (he hands the ear pods directly back to Miles shaking his head) "That shite is just raw sewage spewing in your ears. Your taste in music sucks man!"

Transit employee (over loudspeaker):"Good early morning; the buses are all running late today. Trams too."

Scott: "God, five more minutes and I'm Ubering it. I can't handle the stress of this commute much longer..."

(Just then the engines of the buses can be heard starting up and Miles and Scott queue to be amongst the first on the impending bus.)

(Like clockwork their work day begins at their morning meeting at 8:15. Marnie is looking especially smart today in a tight knee-length black suit with a deep V front and cream colored silk scarf just sneaking out from the collar. Her Louis Vuitton silver-toed pumps and seamed stockings complete the look. The meeting is like all the others, efficient, to the point, and lasting exactly 45 minutes. They are all back at their cubicles now and anticipating lunch.)

Miles (to all the guys within earshot): "Anyone have a suggestion where I can take Daisy this weekend? I think she is starting to think I'm a complete bore.”

Charles: "How about the Taste of London down at the docks. I brought Katharina last year and she loved it. Cold though, man. A good excuse to keep close and, of course, drink!"

Miles: "Hmmm, she is quite the foodie...that would be perfect. What's it called..(he speaks it out as he types it into a google search)... taste of london...yeah man, looks fun. Thanks. Excellent suggestion! Should score me some brownie points...and then some..."

(Miles turning his swivel chair around to Scott)

Miles: "How 'bout you tiger...wanna come and bring that Tinder hottie along — it could be a double date..."

Scott: "I'll think about it but I'm dealing with landlord shite right now. My housemates are freaking out. I don’t know why the landlord always picks Thursdays. We all have classes all day every Thursday. Today she just calls us up and asks if someone will be there to let the heating tech in. I think maybe she remembers Thursday but forgets what it is about Thursday she’s supposed to remember. I mean how hard is it - Thursday are off limits...no access...capiche? She is another mystery woman in my life... she always smells heavy of garlic and she’s so frail I wonder if she's on some 'garlic only' diet."

Miles: "Man you are just the weirdest human alive! You should write spy novels or somethin.’ You’re suspicious of everyone. I wonder what you think I'm up to...maybe I'm moonlighting as a stripper at night…"

Scott "Naw man, no way, they only hire hot, hung dudes for those jobs!"

(Miles chucks a tension-relief ball at Scott's head but he ducks and it misses him. They all get back to work. Later in the afternoon Miles check the time...)

Miles: "Well boys, five minutes to the Madame show..."

(Miles stands up to open the window. They are anticipating the arrival of Marnie and they know the sound of her G-wagon as it pulls around to the rear of the office building. Two minutes later the hydro purr of the Mercedes engine rounds the corner and they all nod knowingly.)

(Moments later, there is loud talking in the alley between the building...they can't see who is talking but it is definitely two women.)

Women in Alley: "You’re a cow. You’re a FUCKING COW! YOU STOLE MY FUCKING MONEY! GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HERE YOU DISGUSTING WHORE. YOU STOLE MY MONEY AND MY MAN!"

(Miles and Scott stick their heads out the window and they see Marnie stumble from the alley adjusting her scarf. She looks like she's injured on her arm or her leg ...or both...)

Miles: "Shit man - that's Marnie and she looks hurt. We need to go down there right now..."

(Turning from the window in a panic...)

Scott: "No, you guys wait here. I’ll go alone; it’ll be a lot faster this way."

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jamiekturner · 7 years

Text

The Making of a Unicorn

Three years ago I embarked on a journey to become a unicorn. A unicorn is a designer who also writes code.

I had always wanted to learn to code. I’d dabbled a little bit. But I didn’t know anything about web programming. I’ve also wanted to learn how to design on my computer.

My professional background was in product management. I’d worked with incredibly talented designers and developers. Then I went and got an MBA.

I was tired of having ideas and not being able to execute on them myself. I had that creative itch that I couldn’t quite scratch.

I’ve realized how many others out there who want to be makers but get lost along the way. There are so many tutorials out now on so many learning platforms teaching so many different frameworks.

And then there’s learning to be a designer…

I love learning and grew up in a household where education was the most important thing. Yet I was afraid of programming. It was scary and intimidating. As I grew up and became a professional manager of programmers and designers I felt like something was missing.

I would have an idea and then find others to pay to make it. This hurts your soul. Yes, money is a wonderful tool. But so is hard work. I want to challenge you to step outside of your comfort zone and learn how to make things!

I recommend learning HTML, CSS, Sass, and JavaScript today. If you want to make apps, I would then learn Swift or Java depending on whether you want to do iOS or Android.

Learning design is a nebulous process. My recommendation here is to focus on the principles of UX design. It will help with what you build while you do programming exercises. Additionally, learning interaction and visual design both take lots of practice and time. You have to develop a feel for it, which won’t happen quickly.

The key to remember is that you have to learn tools and processes. The tools will come and go, so the ones I suggest are good for getting started. The processes will take a long time to master, but they can be applied to any tools going forward.

The other thing to note is how you like to learn. I used a mix of books, online tutorials, online courses, and in-person courses. I was working for a startup remotely for a large chunk of this, then running my own startup. This gave me flexibility and access to mentors.

Things to learn:

Positive Attitude — have fun being bad and learning. You have to get into the mentality of play and making mistakes, especially when you can’t quite understand something.

Dev: HTML, CSS, JavaScript (jQuery, Underscore), Sass, bootstrap, github, sublime text, command line, Angular, React.

Design: Sketch, PhotoShop, inVision, Marvel, Framer.

Processes: Hosting, modular programming, object-oriented programming, chrome dev tool debugging, strategic design thinking, interviewing, surveys, personas, card sorting, information architecture, user flows, ui design, usability testing, wireframing, mocking up, prototyping, interaction designing, animating, color theory, typography, whew…that’s a lot. I’m sure there are more too. A lot of these you’ll learn while learning tools, but some take intentional focus.

The last piece I want to point out is that my philosophy towards learning has changed so so so much over the last three years. If the only useful thing you get from my post is this then I’m happy:

When learning development there are two fundamental pieces. One is memorization and the second is practice understanding and implementing concepts. While learning a new programming language the faster you memorize the vocabulary the stronger you get. It takes some work (and flash cards), but is incredibly useful. Then, in order to be able to actually use a new concept, you have to practice it in real code. Watching or reading won’t cut it if you don’t take the time to try it out.

When learning design there are two fundamental pieces. One is learning the tools and the second is raw practice based on inspiration. As you begin to master the tools you grow substantially faster and understand how to “see” designs you like. You’ll understand how they were put together and why. However, you must put in the hours creating and recreating designs. Learn a tool then find inspiration on the web. Recreate what inspires you. Your eye will improve and your ability to create what you see in your mind’s eye will mature.

Here’s the complete list of books, courses, and tutorials I found most helpful.

Below the list I’ll give an exact order that I would recommend going through them. Oh, the power of hindsight!

Books:

Don’t Make Me Think — the classic book on making things usable and a fantastic place to start learning about UX.

HTML/CSS Book — beautiful, simple, and effective.

Eloquent JavaScript — the best book to go from zero to hero in JS, oh and it’s free.

Elements of Typographic style — I can’t stress how important it is to learn typeography early in your journey.

Elements of user experience—Another classic, while I think some of the content is outdated, you’ll understand many of the concepts listed above by the time you finish.

Information Architecture — One of the few books I think of as invaluable for both devs and designers.

JavaScript Patterns — The most advanced book here, this will help you understand best practices and why other devs make certain decisions.

JavaScript the Good Parts — Another classic JS book, this deeper dive will get you using intermediate concepts.

TDD By Example — You will need to understand Test Driven Development both as a practice and as a conversation piece with other devs.

Progit — Part of becoming a developer is learning how to use git and this primer helped me immensely.

UX Pinfree books — UX Pin has SO many free books, I highly recommend reading one as you dig into new UX topics.

Courses:

Bloc UX — I have mixed feelings about the Bloc course. I wasn’t thrilled with the content of the lectures and I ended up referring to books or the Team Treehouse UX content a lot of the time. However, the projects section is great for cutting your teeth and having a mentor involved is useful for feedback. I did the program before any of my in-person training. The price, for an online program, is a bit steep.

RefactorU, full-stack JavaScript, in person 10 weeks — I had a fantastic experience at RU. I came in feeling confident in my html, css, and JS skills, and by the end of the 10 weeks I realized how much I still have to learn. I went through the program starting January 2015. I still don’t feel confident in Node/backend because I haven’t been using it, but my front-end skills went through the roof. I think an in-person experience is killer if you have the time both for networking and being in a structured environment.

General Assembly, UX, in person 10 weeks — I enjoyed the GA program a lot. I was told by the admittance team that my knowledge of UX was likely above much of the course materials and this was true. However, being at GA is a fantastic experience in San Francisco, both for networking and building a portfolio in a collaborative environment. One of the biggest challenges for me after all my learning was how to showcase it. With the guidance of my instructors I feel like I’m getting there. Also, working in a program focused on real projects is useful and fun.

Design + Code, in person, 1 weekend — I can’t stress how amazing Meng To is as an individual. The class is one day of Sketch and one day of XCode working on a real project. Part of what I found the most valuable was learning by doing. I still use the technique in the class for making drop shadows, and a lot of my Sketch workflow is based on Meng’s suggestions. I’ll also add that he is a walking encyclopedia of design resources and his newsletter is fantastic.

Tutorials:

The Bitfountain Design Immersive, iOS8 Sketch — This course helped me more than any other out there in learning Sketch. It’s intense, long, brutal, but so effective. Along the way you create a huge amount of assets and learn a lot of tips and tricks.

The new Bitfountain site, iOS dev & design — Bitfountain released a new site last year and has a wonderful community. I can’t plug these guys enough, they create content based on what users ask for and have a wonderful teaching style. I’ve worked through a lot of their Swift content and some of the new Sketch materials.

Codecademy — Spend a weekend with codecademy when you start to learn HTML/CSS, then another weekend when you want to learn JavaScript. Their method of learning by doing is effective for mastering the basics. When you go on to more advanced tutorials you’ll begin to understand how things work better, but you’ll have a solid foundation.

Dash — This was my introduction to General Assembly a couple of years ago. Similar to codecademy, but more of a full project than individual lessons.

Learn git — A visual way to learn git, this helped me more than any other resource. It’s fast and pushed me to that “aha” moment.

Codeschool — A monster of a site. I’ve worked through about two thirds of it at this point. It’s a great place to learn JavaScript and the best for interactive tutorials on front-end concepts. I also enjoyed their Sass courses a lot.

Sketchcasts — I can’t stress enough the value in watching experienced designers work. Sign up for a few months and watch all of the content. Many of the concepts covered I’ve gone back to a few times as they become relevant to me on projects. Also, the tips are incredibly useful.

tuts+ — I often use tuts+ as a follow-up when I’ve learned the basics of a skill somewhere else. There are a good mix of design and dev tutorials and they add new ones regularly.

Lynda — Still the best place to learn new tools. Where I learned Photoshop. Also, they have some solid UX courses now too.

Udemy — Hmmm, not one of my favorite sites because the courses can range in quality so much. I recommend taking the courses when they are offered at a deep discount. The site seems to be down for me right now, but I enjoyed Rob Percival’s Sketch course and I found a couple of solid Affinity Designer courses as well. The dev courses I’ve taken haven’t impressed, so do your homework before purchasing one.

Team Treehouse — My favorite of all the resources for a couple of reasons. One is that they regularly add new content and re-organize their tracks. The second is that they have great instructors and a wonderful community when you’re stuck. Also, you can download any course as a video podcast and watch it elsewhere. I went through hours and hours on the treadmill on my iPad when I was training for a race last year! There are excellent dev and design courses, although I wish they had more on modern frameworks like Node, Angular, and React (it seems like they have a lot of new content in the pipeline). Just be warned that some of the challenges will require you to get help from the community.

Level Up Tuts — The best free resource I’ve found. Period. Scott is a great teacher and has gotten better over time. He has 1–3 hour courses on everything front-end related. If you are on a budget follow him! Either way, I would watch his courses before doing any paid content and support him along the way. Watch his tutorials on Sublime Text, Command Line, CSS/Sass, Angular, React, and especially all of his Sketch tutorials. Aside from UX practices and UI patterns he teaches everything you need to learn. I don’t have enough nice things to say — I’m amazed he puts everything up on YouTube.

Learn the hard way — Kind of a book, kind of a tutorial. This was a great way for learning the command line and for learning the basics of Regular Expressions. If you decide to learn Ruby or Python after JavaScript, I’m sure the materials here are excellent.

Watch Me Code — Watching other people work is a wonderful way to learn subtle nuances of a craft. This is a JavaScript focused site where you watch Derick using modern technology and doing testing. Part of why I enjoyed this site so much is that you actually learn testing and see professional, shipped code. I wouldn’t start out here, but when you feel like you’ve hit a wall this is a great place to learn.

Front-End Masters — I don’t exactly know how to classify this site, but I love it. There are some beginner and intermediate courses, but their advanced courses really shine. Many of the people who create the frameworks you use are the ones actually teaching the classes! This is the best place I’ve found for learning advanced JavaScript, frameworks, and methodologies. I spend time here currently when I want to learn something new.

Wes Bos — I’m not entirely sure where to classify all of Wes’ materials, but DAMN they are good. His book on Sublime Text is the best I’ve found by far, and his email tutorials on Flexbox and React are wonderful. Use his stuff to help learn. I also enjoy his teaching style.

Kopywriting Kourse — I haven’t included any other writing/content/copy materials as I think it’s a rabbit hole. Everyone should take Neville’s course. Understanding words, how they drive action, and marketing is important in life. We are all victims of this constantly on the web, you may as well understand the principles and how to put them to work.

Some I didn’t include: Pluralsight — Too many tutorials, not enough updates, not the best instructors in my opinion. I was overwhelmed on the site and some of the content was too old to be useful. Probably worth another look at some point though.

Train Simple — Adobe only training, I’ve found Lynda and Adobe’s own tutorials better. Also, check out Creative Live for specific Photoshop and Illustrator classes (I was in the audience for the recent Illustrator class!).

Evented Mind — I spent some time here learning Meteor, I generally found there to be better teachers and better content elsewhere. I prefer learning by doing rather than just watching.

Ray Wenderlich — If you dig further into iOS or Android programming you’ll come across the site. I haven’t worked through their materials, but have heard fantastic things. Some of the blog posts are tutorials in their own right and I’ve used a couple.

Scotch.io — During my journey I’ve used Scotch’s tutorials a number of times. Some are very helpful, some are less so. I particularly enjoyed their, REST, Angular, React, and Sublime Text tutorials. I think all of their content is free.

The Design of Everyday Things — Along your journey you’ll stumble across Don Norman. He’s a father of UX and a big influence for many in the field. Personally, I’m not a huge fan of his writing style. Feel free to read this book and hopefully you enjoy it more than I did. I know this is blasphemy to some, but I want to be honest in my reviews.

About Face — The seminal book on Interaction Design by Alan Cooper and others, which has been updated several times. I enjoyed it, but don’t think it’s a must read like the books I’ve listed above. If you want to dig further into interaction design and prototyping give it a look.

Processes:

I want to quickly highlight three important processes that have helped me along my journey.

Copying designs that you like off Dribbble or Behance. Actually downloading and recreating assets in Sketch is fun and useful. It’s a great way to learn color, typography, and layout. I recommend grabbing WhatFont chrome extension so you can see what other sites are using as type. Also…use this for learning what type is in an image.

Creating tiny projects to learn and test dev work. You have to make stuff! When you learn something new, think of a way to make something simple and test it out. It doesn’t need to be more than a few lines of code, but get in the habit of creating. This will anchor what you’ve learned, and you can refer back to it later. I save all of mine in Dropbox.

Practice code challenges. I like Codewars, they tend to be fun and have a good community.

Other Resources:

I realized as I finished that I hadn’t listed the other resources that I love and use regularly. Some of these are tools, some are blogs, some are newsletters. Rather than continuing with overwhelm, here are the best of the best in my opinion.

Codrops — I love their newsletter and site. It’s the best thing since sliced bread. Amazing tutorials, links, resources, and their CSS resource helped me when I was really struggling to understand pseudoclasses and the box model.

Luke W — Simply wonderful blog and newsletter. Luke’s writing and data-driven analysis are so useful.

Design+Code — I mentioned Meng To earlier, but his weeklyish newsletter is usually where I find out about new tools and tricks.

Sidebar — Sidebar is curated by the generous Sacha Greif who has created some useful things. It’s 5 design related links every day. A lot of my inspiration comes from these links.

Designer News — Stay current. I enjoy the newsletter even though it often overlaps with Sidebar.

InVision Blog — I don’t have enough nice things to say about what InVision is doing for the design community. The blog is great, the content is great, the guest authors are great. If I could only follow one blog, this would be it.

Dribbble and Behance — When you are learning, you need to find some great creatives to follow. Grabbing resources and mirroring better artists is a fantastic way to learn. Yes, these are focused on visual design and not usability or UX. But that’s okay. I should probably start posting things to dribbble to get feedback, but I’ve never looked for an invite before…

Universe or unicorn?

Below is exactly what I would recommend for someone looking to become a unicorn.

If I could turn back time…

Here is the path I’d follow if I started again today. If you have the luxury of taking an immersive course, I highly recommend it. Having classmates to bounce ideas off of and a career center to help you find a job, create a new resume, and portfolio is invaluable. Feel free to jump around if you already understand some of the topics presented.

Immersive Route:

Prep Work Don’t Make Me Think HTML/CSS Book

HTML/CSS Dash Codecademy Level Up Tuts — work through the html and css tutorials. Team Treehouse — Begin the web design track, this is the segue into UX.

UX Intro Elements of user experience Information Architecture Lynda — UX courses to learn the tools.

JavaScript Intro Eloquent JavaScript Codecademy — JS tutorials, skip jQuery for now. Team Treehouse — Begin the web developer track . Level Up Tuts — JS tutorials.

Visual Design Tools (Sketch & PS) Level Up Tuts — Sketch Tutorials. Design+Code — Work through the Sketch part. Sketchcasts — This will really help after you have the basics down. Udemy — The monster Rob Percival course. The Bitfountain Design Immersive — If you can still access this, otherwise work on the new Bitfountain. Lynda — Photoshop training, you can decide how deep to go here…I recommend Deke’s tutorials, but there are many good ones. Bezier Tool Game — A fun and incredibly useful way to learn the pen tool. You’ll thank me for spending some hours on this, it helped me finally get how the tool works.

Development Tools — At this point we are prepping for the advanced JS and Front-End concepts by learning tools developers use. Level Up Tuts — Sublime text tutorials Sublime Text by Wes Bos. Team Treehouse — If you haven’t completed the git/github courses or the console/terminal course go through these. Learn git Progit Codeschool — This is when I would switch from Treehouse to Codeschool. Take the git/github courses at Codeschool. Codecademy — Learn the command line. This will take a long time to master, but you will get good enough to begin using it. At this point I’d stop using finder for a month or two in order to practice. Learn the hard way — A good way to round out your command line learning.

JavaScript Advanced JavaScript Patterns TDD By Example Codeschool — Work through the JavaScript tutorials then any front-end frameworks you want to learn. I would also watch the CSS/Sass tutorials. Front-End Masters or Watch Me Code — I would pick one of these to start and then work into the other depending on whether you want to learn testing first, or dig deep into React/Angular and brush up on other skills.

Prototyping Tools This isn’t an area I would spend too much time on. I would download Marvel for your phone, and use InVision on the web. When you want to test deeper interactions, spend some time learning Framer. There are a lot of good Framer tutorials out there (check out Bitfountain, Front-End Masters, and Udemy). It’s the tool I’ve been learning recently and enjoying immensely. With the JavaScript skills you’ve developed it shouldn’t take long to pick up.

Immersive At this point you’re pretty good and have a solid foundation of knowledge to draw from. Decide whether you want to focus more on UX or on Front-End based on what you enjoyed learning more! You have years ahead. If you want to do UX, I’d recommend going to General Assembly. Their career counseling is great and you’ll meet a network of other designers. If you want to do Front-End, I’d recommend going to Hack Reactor. I debated between the two and ended up at GA. If I wanted to focus more on dev I would’ve gone to HR. I wanted to move to San Francisco and signed up for a course at GA while I was doing consulting work. Hack Reactor has an online program that you can take anywhere in the world. If you happen to be (or want to be) in the Boulder area, check out RefactorU.

Final Thoughts

This turned into a substantially longer post than I’d expected. I hope it helps people navigate through the huge number of learning options. I am sure people will have different opinions on how they like to learn or tools they found useful. Please leave them in the comments! I love self-guided learning and am always looking for new tutorials.

If you want some help based on where you are in your own learning journey I am happy to give specific recommendations as well. I spent many hours working down routes I don’t use much of anymore. The first six months I spent learning Ruby and Rails, and I’ve spent about as much time learning Meteor. I can post thoughts on learning these if people are interested. Thanks for reading if you made it this far!

I am a product designer based in San Francisco. I’m currently a UX consultant and looking for full-time work in a playful, education-driven company.

Please follow me on twitter where I focus on design, or follow my blog where I focus on living a meaningful life. Thanks!

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from Web Development & Designing http://www.designyourway.net/blog/design/the-making-of-a-unicorn/

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