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#and it KILLS me even though i know 99% of this was me reading between the lines they let me choose
supjello · 1 year
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"Your son?" "My apprentice, but I think of him like a son."
#pentiment#andreas maler#casper ziegler#my art#it took me about two seconds to go full 'if anything happens to my beloved casper i'm killing everyone in this town and then myself'#'and then no one will be around to solve this murder mystery because we'll ALL be dead'#(some spoilers to at least where im at in the game>)#my andreas loved his son but found no love with his wife#(though he wanted to. he really wanted to.)#drifting off alone and finding this kind of 'what if' when he took casper on and began travelling#and it wasn't fair to anyone involved. not his wife who had to face loss alone#not andreas who was trying to cover up the hole august left with another family's son#not casper (though he wouldn't know this- since he didn't realize the extent andreas really cared about him like a father)#but most things went unspoken and most consequences unseen#so there was just this deep undercurrent of silent fatherly love and worry beneath every interaction#between the two#and it KILLS me even though i know 99% of this was me reading between the lines they let me choose#i wonder if my andreas kind of secretly wished casper's family didn't make it through the turmoil#it's a fucked up thought and i think he'd feel extremely guilty if he ever caught himself thinking it#but there's got to be some extreme dread there about the idea of the apprenticeship ending and this boy he considers a son cutting ties#and really having to face going back to his wife who he (rightfully) feels guilty about leaving.#even if she never loved him#and even if only pain was there to return to#ANYWAY#I FEEL TOTALLY NORMAL ABOUT ANDREAS MALER#edit: guess who just completed the game. guess who’s own art is now making herself SAD
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whinlatter · 1 year
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Harry’s thoughts of Ginny in the Forest: a meta
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‘Nothing too big, because you wouldn't be able to take it with you... I wanted you to have something to remember me by.' - DH, p. 99 (UK edition)
Here I am, on a rainy Thursday, doing re-reads for some writing and thinking about the parallels between Harry and Ginny's kiss on his birthday, and Harry’s thoughts of Ginny as he goes to his death. 
I’m thinking differently about Ginny’s motivations for the kiss these days. I used to think about her words to Harry that morning, and the act of kissing him, as a promise she’ll wait for when he comes back. Lately, I’m wondering if it’s not something sadder, and more profound. I think what Ginny does on Harry’s seventeenth is the act of a person who is starting to process the fact that the person she loves is likely going to his death — that he might not be coming back. It's a scene of a person bracing for grief and thinking about love after death, and it will set the stage for how Harry meets his own death in the Forest.
So here’s a much-too-long meta to help me think through these ideas - about the kiss, Ginny’s suspicions about Harry’s fate, and what it means that Harry returns to the memory of Ginny at the end of his life. (Stick the kettle on for this one and if you worked this all out long ago before me, just give me an eye roll and forgive me).
I’ve always taken Ginny's words to Harry before their kiss at face value. I thought of it not quite as a fun scene - it’s certainly sad - but sweet, a little sexy, and sort of reckless, even a bit mischievous on Ginny’s part.
It’s the birthday of the boy Ginny loves. They’re not together anymore. She knows he's going away. She wants to give him a birthday present, but she doesn't want to give him something he has to haul around or might lose. She does want to let him know that, despite their separation, her feelings are still the same. She craves a moment with him before he goes. She is still in love with him, she is deeply attracted to him, and part of her still feels a bit possessive. Although she’s not really concerned Harry’s going to crack on with some Veela, she does want him to have a memento of their time together. She wants him to have a happy memory, of physical intimacy and emotional comfort, to keep him going while he's away, to feel less alone.
Most of all, I used to think of the kiss (and whatever Ginny imagined might come after the kiss) as a promise. I still love you. Even though we’re not together and I respect why you have to go, I’m still all in on this. I’ll wait for you for when you come back. I want you to have the memory of this, as proof.
Harry’s reveal
But the more I’ve thought about it, the more I think about the context of when this kiss happens, after Harry and Ginny's last conversation before his birthday. It's the one a few days before, when Harry and Ginny are laying the table for dinner, and Harry lets slip to Ginny what he, Ron and Hermione will be doing when they leave:
'‘And then what does she think’s going to happen?’ Harry muttered. ‘Someone else might kill off Voldemort while she’s holding us here making vol-au-vents?’ He had spoken without thinking, and saw Ginny’s face whiten.‘So it’s true?’ she said. ‘That’s what you’re trying to do? ‘I - not - I was joking,’ said Harry evasively. (DH, 78-9, UK edition)
This is a desperately sad scene, but it’s also an important moment. Harry, so used to having his guard down with Ginny, realises he’s accidentally confessed something big: that he’s going on the run to try and kill Voldemort himself, with Ron and Hermione’s help. 
Ginny is shaken by this. As a character, she tends to either take things in her stride, or yells first, processes later. But this catches her off guard. Her words suggest there has been speculation about what it is the three of them are going off to do (‘So it’s true?’ suggests that Ginny, and perhaps other members of her family or the Order, have been speculating about this for some time). But both she and Harry realise here that he’s flippantly confirmed something huge that Ginny did not already know for sure. He’s spoken aloud the task is that Dumbledore has left him. 
It is a sign of how close Harry feels to Ginny, how safe he feels in her company, and how difficult he finds managing keeping secrets from her, that he lets this slip. He won’t come as close to telling the truth to anyone else, even people he trusts. The scene before this, in his conversation with Mrs Weasley, he didn’t let on nearly as much (though he admits that he found affirming the importance of secrecy difficult when he looked at Mrs Weasley and saw Ginny’s eyes staring back at him):
‘Well, Dumbledore left me . . . stuff to do,’ mumbled Harry. ‘Ron and Hermione know about it, and they want to come too.’ ‘What sort of ‘stuff’?’  ‘I’m sorry, I can’t—’  ‘Well, frankly I think Arthur and I have a right to know, and I’m sure Mr. and Mrs. Granger would agree!’ said Mrs. Weasley. Harry had been afraid of the “concerned parent” attack. He forced himself to look directly into her eyes, noticing as he did that they were precisely the same shade of brown as Ginny’s. This did not help… ‘Dumbledore didn’t want anyone else to know, Mrs. Weasley (…)  I didn’t misunderstand,’ said Harry flatly. ‘It’s got to be me.’ (DH, 77-8)
Later, he’ll also refuse to give any information to Lupin, for the same reason. 
'‘Can you confide in me what the mission is?’  Harry looked into the prematurely lined face, framed in thick but greying hair, and wished that he could return a different answer.  ‘I can’t, Remus, I’m sorry. If Dumbledore didn’t tell you I don’t think I can.’  ‘I thought you’d say that,’ said Lupin, looking disappointed.’ (DH, 173-4)
But with Ginny, he’s accidentally gone much further. He hasn’t said Horcruxes, but he’s as good as. The trio are setting off to try to kill Voldemort, the most dangerous task imaginable in this war. He tries, in vain, to undo it, but the damage is already done. Ginny knows more now than she did before: that the journey he’s about to go on is one that very likely will claim his life. 
What does Ginny know about Harry’s fate before this moment? 
It's clear from this interaction that Harry has never discussed any of this with Ginny before. In their breakup scene, Harry repeatedly said that he was breaking up with her for her own safety. He said he did not want her to be used as bait, as she already had been previously, and as Sirius was: 'Think how much danger you'll be in if we keep this up...' (HBP, 602). The focus was entirely on the risk to Ginny's life, a risk Harry says he cannot live with.
Ginny’s remarks at Dumbledore’s funeral told us something about how she, at that point, understood the path ahead for Harry. She made her half-joke that Harry was always busy saving the Wizarding World, and says she thinks he 'would never be happy', never fulfilled or satisfied, unless he were 'hunting Voldemort' (HBP, 603). She showed she interpreted his actions as choices being made by someone brave, determined, and personally committed to bringing about the end of Voldemort, not someone destined to. Harry’s motivations and reasons are ones she respects and empathises with. She knows the path ahead is dangerous. She doesn’t yet think of it as lethal. 
Harry didn’t respond to her assessments at the funeral, neither correcting nor confirming them. He didn’t let her know, at that stage, exactly what it is he is going to set off to do. The closest Harry came to revealing the road ahead for him in the break-up scene was this:
'It’s been like… like something out of someone else’s life, these last few weeks with you,' said Harry. 'But I can’t… we can’t… I’ve got things to do alone now.' She did not cry, she simply looked at him.’  (HBP, 602)
This is a pattern throughout their relationship, both as friends and later as romantic partners. Ginny knows a little, but not a lot, about Harry’s path. She thinks of it almost entirely as a decision he has made himself. Conversations about Harry’s destiny - about the Prophecy, about being the Chosen One, and, eventually, about the Horcrux hunt - happen near Ginny, but never with her. She does not seem to believe that Harry is the Chosen One or in any way bound to Voldemort's own fate. At the start of HBP, on the train in Slughorn’s carriage, Ginny states publicly her belief that any speculation about Harry being the Chosen One is nonsense: 
‘We never heard a prophecy,” said Neville, turning geranium pink as he said it. ‘That’s right,’ said Ginny staunchly. ‘Neville and I were both there too, and all this ‘Chosen One’ rubbish is just the Prophet making things up as usual.’ (HBP, 140)
Ultimately, before DH, Ginny has been given very little information. We can assume that she’s decided to respect Harry’s decision to keep any information from her and not to push for it. She has reason to fear he might be in danger, but she doesn’t yet know the full extent of it.
Ginny’s response
The immediate aftermath of Harry’s confession at the Burrow is very telling. 
‘They stared at each other, and there was something more than shock in Ginny’s expression. Suddenly Harry became aware that this was the first time that he had been alone with her since their stolen hours in secluded corners of the Hogwarts grounds. He was sure she was remembering them too.’ - DH (79)
It’s important that, immediately after this confession, Harry’s mind immediately takes him to private time spent alone with Ginny at the end of HBP. His certainty that Ginny, too, is reminiscing about them is typical of their wordless displays of understanding. They both reach for memories. And the memories of the last time he was alone with her, when they were still together, suddenly trigger an intense emotional and sexual tension. They are soon interrupted, and the dinner afterwards is extremely awkward. Harry wishes he were further away from Ginny, and tries, with great difficulty, to avoid touching her at the dinner table. The energy between them is intense and charged, anticipatory and frustrated. There are lots of ‘unsaid things’ that have just passed between them, and both are aware of it (DH, 79).
There are important themes being introduced here. Whenever Harry thinks about memories of his time with Ginny in DH, he does so consistently in two clear ways. To him, those times were private, intensely intimate moments which carried huge personal significance. It is strongly implied those were moments of sexual intimacy between the two of them, and where they shared an emotional closeness neither has found with any other character. But those moments with Ginny are also something Harry feels he was wrong to take. His relationship with her was something that, in retrospect, he embarked upon against his better judgement. He now feels it was something he was not entitled to, on account of his own burdens and obligations. Those were ‘stolen hours’ that were ‘something out of someone else’s life’. If we look to the wedding scene, we can see this most clearly:
‘‘Yes, my tiara sets off the whole thing nicely,’ said Auntie Muriel in a rather carrying whisper. ‘But I must say, Ginevra’s dress is far too low cut.’  Ginny glanced around, grinning, winked at Harry, then quickly faced the front again. Harry’s mind wandered a long way from the marquee, back to afternoons spent alone with Ginny in lonely parts of the school grounds. They seemed so long ago; they had always seemed too good to be true, as though he had been stealing shining hours from a normal person’s life, a person without a lightning-shaped scar on his forehead…’ (DH, 121) 
There are certain tropes at play here, that will that recur again and again in Harry’s thoughts of Ginny until the point of his death: the memory of time alone, the feeling of shared emotional and physical intimacy, to an intense degree; the sense of their time together being something stolen, both in the sense of it being snatched from within darker times, but also being forbidden, given with Harry’s fate when it comes to Voldemort. That Harry recalls these moments at a moment as two other characters make lifelong vows of marriage to each other is not insignificant: all is set up to maximise the sense of tragedy.
Ginny processing Harry’s fate
Ginny is not naive. Harry’s confession seems to change something about how she thinks about what he’s about to do. She may once have dismissed the prophecy of Harry as the Chosen One as nonsense. But she now has reason to suspect that might not quite be true.
She may well re-trace what she does know. After all, she was at the Department of Mysteries two summers prior, where she learnt that Voldemort, at least, thinks there is a prophecy of significance that involves Harry directly. She knows Harry has been having one-on-one lessons with Dumbledore: she even gave him one of the invitations (HBP, 228). She also knows that Harry and Dumbledore left school for a secret mission alone on the night the Astronomy Tower was attacked and Dumbledore was killed. She observed how Harry saw Dumbledore’s death as a catalyst to prepare for a path that required him to step back from her. Above all, we also know that Ginny is a character who understands Tom Riddle intimately. She is one of the people who comes closest to understanding the stakes of your life being bound, in some way, to Voldemort.
It is also significant that Ginny is a character canonically intrigued, and touched, by death, and by powerful Dark magic. The diary, and her own near-death experience, is the most obvious example. But in the Department of Mysteries during OotP, we are told she is also one of the characters most drawn to the veil, despite having far less direct experience of loss and grief than Harry, Luna, or even Neville:
‘[Harry] took several paces back from the dais and wrenched his eyes from the veil. ‘Let’s go,’ he said. ‘That’s what I’ve been trying to — well, come on, then!’ said Hermione, and she led the way back around the dais. On the other side, Ginny and Neville were staring, apparently entranced, at the veil too. Without speaking, Hermione took hold of Ginny’s arm, Ron Neville’s, and they marched them firmly back to the lowest stone bench and clambered all the way back up to the door.’ (OotP, 775)
I don’t mean to suggest Ginny knew what was coming for Harry, that she foresaw him having to go to his death. She knows nothing of Horcruxes, she doesn’t know the contents of the Prophecy, and she certainly doesn’t know Harry himself is a Horcrux. Harry, of course, doesn’t yet know the certainty of him going to his own death, at this point in the text. But given the information she alone has been handed, inadvertently, by Harry, she has plenty of reason to begin to suspect the path Harry is on is one that might end in death, moreso for him than for an anyone else in this war.
Ginny doesn’t appear much in the following pages, other than in her role helping to prepare the house for the wedding. Over the next few days, she has lots of time to consider Harry’s words. We know she’s also sharing a bedroom with Hermione, who is actively preparing for their imminent departure, and watching the three of them try to sneak off together to make plans. This is time for Ginny to start to digest the information Harry has unwittingly divulged. She can now begin to think about how she ought to respond to the prospect of him leaving for a mission that will, likely, cost him his life.
The kiss itself
We can see Ginny has planned this interaction with Harry in her bedroom. The false casualness of how the scene opens - ‘Harry, can you come in here a moment?’ - and the actions of the bedroom’s other occupant, Hermione, suggests some level of premeditation and collaboration. For the first time, Ginny brings him into her bedroom, with the door closed. The setting is obviously intimate and suggestive.
Harry describes Ginny as seeming nervous, but purposeful, like she is readying herself for something - she ‘[takes] a deep breath’. She is looking at him ‘steadily’. Harry is nervous, too: he cannot bring himself to look at her, finding it almost painful, like ‘gazing into a brilliant light’ (DH, 98). Her trademark blazing look is in full force. She doesn’t entertain his attempts at small talk: she is serious about what she’s about to do.
‘‘I couldn’t think what to get you,’ she said.  ‘You didn’t have to get me anything.’ She disregarded this too.’ (DH, 98-9)
Ginny opens by revealing how difficult it has been for her to work out what she could give him, under the circumstances. She is, in her own way, acknowledging how hard she is finding processing what it is he has to do now. She has been struggling with the prospect of Harry’s departure, and the possibility, even the likelihood, of his death. But she has decided she wants to make that path easier for him. Despite his reassurance, she insists she wanted to give him something. 
‘‘I didn’t know what would be useful. Nothing too big, because you wouldn’t be able to take it with you.” He chanced a glance at her. She was not tearful...' (99)
These lines are so significant. The first two lines in particular are deeply profound. They read very differently to how I first thought of them, if seen in this light. I didn’t know what would be useful, she says, because she doesn't know what she can say that will be useful. What could possibly make this easier, to help Harry think about the enormity of his situation, or to help guide him on a path requiring him to accept his own likely death? 
She doesn’t want what she gives to him now to be too heavy, too sad, or too serious, because she knows Harry will not be able to deal with it (‘nothing too big’). Anything too declaratory, too sentimental, or too enormous, would be impossible for him to leave with. In the last part of the sentence, her words are deliberately vague: because you wouldn’t be able to take it with you. 
I think this is the most poignant part, and it suggests the part of Ginny's mind that believes in, and is curious about, what happens beyond, after death: the voices on the other side of the veil. I think there is some part of her that thinks Harry might be going somewhere she can’t reach him - what Dumbledore will later call going on. Ginny does not openly speculate about where Harry will be taking whatever she gives him. That it could be to his own grave, or beyond, is left unspoken. He looks at her, finally, after these words, because he seems to understand, on some level, what she is trying to say to him.
‘She took a step closer to him. ‘So then I thought, I’d like you to have something to remember me by, you know, if you meet some veela when you’re off doing whatever you’re doing.’’ (DH, 99)
Ginny has decided: the thing she will give him is a memory, one that he can take with him when they part. Something to remember me by. She wants the memory of her, of them, to be useful, to serve him in some way, and to be something that he might be able to take on with him after death. She tries to soften what she’s trying to convey, with the joke about the veela. But both seem to understand what she is really saying: that she isn’t really asking for his loyalty or fidelity. She doesn’t say she’s giving him ‘something to remember me by’ for when he comes back and they can be together again. Her words are very final. The joke is supposed to make it easier for him to hear what she is saying: she’s telling him, quietly, how to think about her when he leaves, whatever leaving might mean.
Harry, for his part, continues the joke. (‘I think dating opportunities are going to be pretty thin on the ground, to be honest.’) She plays along, sort of, in a very sad way (‘there’s the silver lining I’ve been looking for’). But both seem to know that there is no real silver lining to this. 
And then there’s the kiss itself: 
‘There’s the silver lining I’ve been looking for,’ she whispered, and then she was kissing him as she had never kissed him before, and Harry was kissing her back, and it was blissful oblivion, better than Firewhisky; she was the only real thing in the world, Ginny, the feel of her, one hand at her back and one in her long, sweet-smelling hair —’ (DH, 99)
It all comes to a head here. Harry recognises that this kiss feels exceptional, unlike any other they’ve ever shared - that Ginny has never put so much into a kiss before. It is ‘blissful oblivion’, this moment of extraordinary intensity, where she kisses him and allows him, for a moment, to think only about her and them together. It’s heady and sexual (‘the feel of her’). It’s a gift for Harry  to be able to forget everything and let this moment be a vacuum, to focus only on her. The crescendo effect of the short causes and run-on sentences allows the moment to build and build, a crescendo effect that anticipates something to come. 
Of course, their moment gets interrupted, again. Unlike when Ron interrupted her with Dean, Ginny doesn't rage at him this time: she is subdued, a response that is far more appropriate for her processing the fact that she may have just had her final kiss with the boy she loves. Harry suspects she has started to cry, something he notes is out of character. Ginny had imbued a lot of meaning into this interaction: this is a portrait of a character whose heart is breaking.
When Harry and Ron are discussing the kiss outside on the lawn, after the initial shock of being yelled at by Ron for going anywhere near Ginny, Harry has his own, shattering realisation of what all of this means for himself and Ginny:
‘Yeah, but you go snogging her now and she’s just going to get her hopes up again—’ ‘She’s not an idiot, she knows it can’t happen, she’s not expecting us to— to end up married, or—’  As he said it, a vivid picture formed in Harry’s mind of Ginny in a white dress, marrying a tall, faceless, and unpleasant stranger. In one spiralling moment it seemed to hit him: Her future was free and unencumbered, whereas his . . . he could see nothing but Voldemort ahead.’ (DH, 100)
Thinking aloud, Harry says it would be idiotic for he or Ginny to imagine they could be together, either now, or at any point in the future. He expects her to find someone else; he cannot even begin to imagine a future for himself after the task set out for him. He does not say his inevitable death - he has not yet embraced that reality - but he remains caught in the certainty of an existential battle with Voldemort that he knows he may well not survive.
Later that day, Harry will receive the snitch from Dumbledore’s will. Though he doesn’t know it yet, he now holds the resurrection stone, the item that will open at the close in the forest. It is a birthday that starts and ends with hints about what little time he has left: the stage is set for an arc that, now, has to end in his own death.
Foreshadowing Ginny and the Forest
Moments foreshadowing the significance of the forest are all over Deathly Hallows. Sometimes, they mirror the moment of his own death; often, they are related to Ginny. When they leave the Ministry, with Ron splinched, clutching the Horcrux locket, they arrive in a forest. For a moment Harry’s heart ‘leaped’ at the thought that they were back in Hogwarts’ grounds, the site of so much of his earlier happiness with Ginny (DH, 221). When the trio hear that Ginny, Neville and Luna tried to steal the sword of Gryffindor, it is the Forbidden Forest they are sent to by Snape as punishment (248-9). Harry does not fear the Forest, and is consoled by the thought of Ginny serving detention there rather than anywhere else.
In the Forest of Dean, the scene where Ron returns begins with Harry thinking of Ginny. He sits at the mouth of the tent, wanting to look for Ginny on the Marauders’ Map, until he remembers it’s Christmastime and she is at the Burrow (297). Later, in a moment that mirrors his later walk to his death, he follows his mother - Snape’s patronus, the doe - into the woods, in order to recover and destroy the Horcrux, inching Harry’s own life closer to its close:
Though the darkness had swallowed her whole, [the doe’s] burnished image was still imprinted on his retinas; it obscured his vision, brightening when he lowered his eyelids, disorienting him. Now fear came: Her presence had meant safety. “Lumos!” he whispered, and the wand-tip ignited. The imprint of the doe faded away with every blink of his eyes as he stood there, listening to the sounds of the forest, to distant crackles of twigs…  He held the wand higher. Nobody ran out at him, no flash of green light burst from behind a tree. Why, then, had she led him to this spot?’ (DH, 299)
Foreshadowing Harry's end in the Forest means also foreshadowing Ginny's own appearance at the moment of his death.
Harry’s ‘death’ in the Forest 
In the final battle, Ginny is the last person Harry sees before he begins his walk into the Forest. He takes the words she says to the child on the ground as her final act of comfort. Harry hears them as if they are being spoken to him: 
‘He was feet away from her when he realised it was Ginny.  He stopped in his tracks. She was crouching over a girl who was whispering for her mother.  ‘It’s all right,’ Ginny was saying. ‘It’s okay. We’re going to get you inside.’  ‘But I want to go home,’ whispered the girl. ‘I don’t want to fight anymore!’ ‘I know,’ said Ginny, and her voice broke. ‘It’s going to be all right.’  Ripples of cold undulated over Harry’s skin. He wanted to shout out to the night, he wanted Ginny to know that he was there, he wanted her to know where he was going. He wanted to be stopped, to be dragged back, to be sent back home (...) Ginny was kneeling beside the injured girl now, holding her hand. With a huge effort Harry forced himself on. He thought he saw Ginny look around as he passed, and wondered whether she had seen someone walking nearby, but he did not speak, and he did not look back.’ (DH, 558-9)
Harry believes that this is his final moment with Ginny before he goes to die. A part of him wants her to know that it’s happening: he is leaving, at last. But he can't call to her, because he worries she will try and stop him, and he might let her. Instead, he walks on, and doesn’t look back. After watching Ginny comfort the girl crying for her mother, Harry then goes on to the Forest, and summons his own mother, his own family, to walk with him to his death.  
‘His body and mind felt oddly disconnected now, his limbs working without conscious instruction, as if he were passenger, not driver, in the body he was about to leave. The dead who walked beside him through the forest were much more real to him now that the living back at the castle: Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and all the others were the ones who felt like ghosts as he stumbled and slipped toward the end of his life, toward Voldemort. . . .' (DH, 561-2)
Harry is already preparing to go on from this world: his living loved ones are the ones he now feels furthest from. He stands now with the dead he has summoned, who recognise him and seem to have memories of him. He doesn't fear the dead: he is going to join them.
It’s the death scene itself that I think has subtle, but important parallels with the kiss scene much earlier. In both imagery and in writing style, the scene recalls that earlier moment, where Harry found himself on the edge of another kind of oblivion. There is this mounting, febrile sense of anticipation. There is a tension that is almost sexual, a dynamic injected into the scene through descriptions of Bellatrix’s body language and behaviour towards Voldemort:
‘Bellatrix, who had leapt to her feet, was looking eagerly from Voldemort to Harry, her breast heaving. The only things that moved were the flames and the snake, coiling and uncoiling in the glittering cage behind Voldemort’s head.’  (DH, 564)
The ugly parallel of Bellatrix and Voldemort is not supposed to show the pair as the mirror image of Harry and Ginny. Rather, it is a theme that recurs throughout the series to demonstrate the gulf between Harry, with his immense capacity for love, and Voldemort, with none. Bellatrix and Ginny are memorably paralleled twice in the series: once, at the Department of Mysteries, where Bellatrix moves to ‘torture the little girl’, and Harry steps in to prevent her (OotP, 783), and again in the final battle: 
'Bellatrix was still fighting too, fifty yards away from Voldemort, and like her master she dueled three at once: Hermione, Ginny, and Luna, all battling their hardest, but Bellatrix was equal to them, and Harry’s attention was diverted as a Killing Curse shot so close to Ginny that she missed death by an inch—  He changed course, running at Bellatrix rather than Voldemort, but before he had gone a few steps he was knocked sideways…’ (DH, 589)
As Harry waits for the killing curse, we see the most direct parallel with Ginny's final kiss to him:
‘None of the Death Eaters moved. They were waiting: everything was waiting. Hagrid was struggling, and Bellatrix was panting, and Harry thought inexplicably of Ginny, and her blazing look, and the feel of her lips on his — ’ (DH, 564)
There's such an intense physicality and breathlessness to the whole scene, and an enduring pseudo-sexual tension, with Bellatrix audibly panting. Even the sentence structure even invokes the kissing scene: the run-on build up of clauses, the repetition of the present participle to actively hold the reader in one present moment, building and building and ending on a dash, the promise of something more.
At the end of his life, Harry returns to the memory Ginny gave him. She meant for it to be useful, if he was to go to his death. And at the close of his life he chooses to use it, as he prepares to leave her behind in this world and depart for the next. Just as the Resurrection Stone helped accept death, so too does the memory of Ginny. He feels the memory of her, the sensation of physical touch and of being kissed, the look she gives him that he knows as one of love and great courage. As he is killed, he remembers her last gift to him, the certainty of her love for him impressed upon him.
--
There's a line in OotP that I think is such an underrated line that sums up who Ginny is as a character. Harry is trying to get to Umbridge's fire to speak to Sirius when he thinks the latter is being tortured at the Ministry; Hermione suggests using Ginny and Luna as a distraction, despite Harry's objections:
'Though clearly struggling to understand what was going on, Ginny said immediately, ‘Yeah, we’ll do it,'... (OotP, 736)
This is who Ginny is. It's especially who she is to Harry, during the war. She doesn't fully know what's actually being asked of Harry (and, by extension, what is being asked of her, as the person who loves him, and who has most to lose if he is to die). But even when kept in the dark, she is enormously selfless, and her biggest act of bravery is extremely quiet. She keeps the secret Harry accidentally bestows on her, and she realises, in some sense, before he does, what it will likely mean for his life. She chooses to let him go on, knowing that he is loved, to make the path that he is on a little bit easier, even when she has realised that it will take him away from her for good.
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ronniehutch · 23 days
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Ronnie Hutch intro + masterlist!
I feel like an intro post is long overdue so...
Hello everyone! I'm Ronnie and I write erotic fanfiction for people obsessed with a 31 year old man who doesn't know they exist! :) (THE CALL IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE)
If you want me to quit yapping and just show you the masterlist, here it is:
🔥🔥🔥CLICK HERE FOR MY MASTERLIST!🔥🔥🔥
Anyway, I mostly write about Josh Futturman from Future Man (2017) for some reason (I never intended to write about him so goddamn much, I just have so many ideas for him) but I've also written for Mike Schmidt (Five Nights at Freddy's, 2023), Derek Danforth (The Beekeeper, 2024), and Clapton Davis (Detention, 2011). And Joosh Futturman if you consider him a separate character from Josh lol.
I will take requests if anyone is interested! The worst I'll do is just not respond, I'm not going to flame you or anything for making a request, so if you have a fic idea, there's no harm in running it by me!
I write smut but I don't really write like full-length five thousand word smut, it's always a shorter scene contained within a longer story. If you have a specific kink for a specific character that you want to see, it's more likely that I'll just include that kink in my next smut with that character and tag you in it. For example, if you want Mike Schmidt to spit in your mouth, I'm probably just going to include that in my next Mike smut instead of writing a whole thing specifically about that. If you want me to just spit out a quick drabble instead I can also do that, just specify that in your ask.
I won't do like... 10k detailed filthy nasty down-and-dirty Dead Dove: Do Not Eat BDSM or whatever (not that I won't read it, I'm a freak! I just won't write it) because my irl best friend reads my fics and I love you guys but I would never be able to look her in the eyes again if I knew that she was reading nasty ass filthy ass dirty ass smut written by ME. (I know you're reading this so heyyy queen <3)
Now that all that's out of the way, here's some info about MEEEE <3333
Ronnie Hutch is a pseudonym, unfortunately I wasn't blessed by the gods with a last name that's that close to our man's. "Ronnie" is a shortened form of a longer name that derives from my mom's name (I love my mom, she's one of the three people irl who knows about this blog. It was a very awkward conversation. "Mom... I write Josh Hutcherson erotica on Tumblr.") and "Hutch" comes from... Well... You know.
I'm extremely, extremely new to writing. My first fic, HLMIFATSTIAIS, was uploaded on Valentine's Day (coincidence) and it's literally the first thing I've ever written. Like, I had never written stories before I started this account. So, even though I'm apparently amazing at writing according to my raving reviews, please remember that I'm still very new to this whole writing thing.
When I'm not writing, I can be found listening to music for ~5 hours a day, I'm fairly certain that's a lot but idk, (my favorite artists are Mother Mother, Hozier, Mitski, and Arctic Monkeys (except for their newest two albums, kill me)); going to work at my local amusement park; going to school (high school senior); and hanging out with my two beautiful babies (my cats).
My personal favorite part of writing is writing banter between characters and comedic internal monologues, which is why 99% of my writing is in the first-person perspective (as in from the reader character's perspective), but I also sometimes write in third-person limited for whatever JHutch character I'm writing so I can include their thoughts as well. I love witty monologues, in case you can't tell. Fun fact for anyone who cares, my dream job is to be a comedy script writer. Unfortunately in this economy I have to go into the medical field because it's "more secure" and "pays more" and the world "hates fun" (I'm kidding, the job I'm going into is, like, my secondary dream job). So writing comedy lets me live vicariously and pretend I'm doing this for money lol.
So I think that's everything! If you have any questions you can leave them here or you can always send an ask. If you got this far then thanks for listening to me talk about myself! Love you guys!
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space-mermaid-writing · 3 months
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Wednesday [IronStrange]
Summary:Tony fights Strange and his weird wizards on a regular basis. So when he is woken up by Jarvis and being told Strange is sitting in his kitchen, waiting to talk to him, Tony just knows that something is not right. What he does not know yet is that it will be a string of very long days.
Relationship: Tony Stark/Stephen Strange
Tags:enemies to lovers, time loop, time shenanigans, hero/villain, hero Tony Stark, villain Stephen Strange, morally gray Stephen Strange, being a villain is a point of view, protecting the timeline, suicide but it has no consequences whatsoever, open ending, hopeful ending, Stephen needs a hug, Stephen and the never ending day, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, eventual smut, all the stuff you love
Ko-fi | Read it on AO3 | Masterlist | Word count: 2.6k | Previous | Next
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Chapter 4: “I know it’s a lot to ask.”
“I’m not messing with your head, Tony. I swear.”
It was the first thing Stephen said to him the next day.
“I know.” Tony sighed. “At least I’m about 99 percent sure.”
The sorcerer bit his tongue. But this was probably the best that he would get. And there was something else on his mind he wanted to address.
“I want to try something. Maybe you were right that I’m the problem. We can test that. I told you that my death doesn’t break the time loop. But I still don’t know if it triggers a reset.”
The engineer looks up from where he was assembling his welding tools. “You mean you want to… what? Die? Kill yourself? Me to kill you?”
Stephen nodded and Tony put his tools down. The sorcerer had said he had done it before and then woke up to see another Wednesday. Still, it didn’t bode well with Tony. Death was something final. Usually.
“You don’t seem to be concerned about it at all,” he voiced carefully. “Are you sure it’s necessary?”
Stephen knew how it must seem to outsiders that he was almost too willing at the prospect of dying. “It’s not the first time I would die in a time loop.”
“A time loop? Not particularly this one?”
Of course Tony noticed that little detail.
“I told you I’ve been in one before,” Stephen said. “But it was different. I controlled it and I used it to trap an entity in it. It was reset by my death.”
Tony was horrified. “How many times?”
“I lost count,” Stephen admitted softly. It had been too many, if he was being honest.
The engineer sighed. “I don’t think you should do this. There’s probably a healthier option.” Seeing Stephen’s facial expression, he added, “but knowing you, I can’t argue you out of it anyway. So how do you want to do this?”
He placed his hand on Stephen's shoulder; a normal gesture for him. He was always handsy with people he was comfortable with. Which – huh – when did he become comfortable around Stephen? Maybe the same time he started calling him by his first name. Still, it was a moment of realization.
Being lost in thought, he didn’t notice Stephen had winced when Tony touched him and that there was a slight blush on his face.
Whenever the two of them stood close to each other – which was more often than not these days – Stephen had to hold himself physically back to lean towards the engineer even though he was yearning for contact. All the time alone in the time loop had taken a toll on him. So much so that a harmless gesture like a hand on a shoulder felt like a tight hug.
He took a step away to get some physical space between them and focused on the topic at hand.
“A painless way would be preferred. I don’t want to use magic, because I’m not a hundred percent sure it won’t affect our bond.” Neither Stephen nor Tony wanted to risk that. “And I’d rather have it done here and not risk someone finding my body. I will record a statement in case something goes wrong, so you’re clear on the legal side, and to explain it to Wong.”
“You really thought this through, hm?”
Stephen answered with a single nod. He had. The cloak floated over from where he had been playing with one of Tony’s bots and smoothed over his shoulders. Stephen patted over the corner of the fabric and gestured to a Starkpad. “Can I use that?”
Tony made an inviting gesture. “It’s all yours.”
With the pad in hand Stephen retreated to a corner of the lab to record his statement. His voice was quiet – the message obviously a private one – and Tony tried not to eavesdrop.
Jarvis took the moment to also start a private conversation via another device.
“Are you sure this is a good idea, Sir?”
Most days Jarvis was quiet when the Sorcerer was present, but he carried out every request from Tony immediately. The engineer knew that his A.I. was watching everything closely, and every now and then Jarvis raised concern, like now.
“It’s probably not, but we haven’t made a lot of progress lately. And if he insists…” It was clear from his voice that Tony didn't like the idea.
“It could be a trick.”
“It could be,” he said noncommitedly. Tony didn’t really believe it to be a trick. By now he knew Stephen quite well. The sorcerer gained nothing from dying and framing Tony; or whatever the implication had been. “Just let it slide for today.”
He had reassured Jarvis so many times before: it’s just one day. Tomorrow will be different.
It was never tomorrow and that was frustrating. He didn’t regret joining the loop – perhaps because he knew that there was a way out for him – but it still wasn’t always easy to handle.
Stephen had finished his recording and handed the Starkpad to Tony. “If anything should happen, give it to Wong. It tells you where you will find him.” The sorcerer hesitated for a second before he added, “please don’t watch it if it is not necessary.”
Now Tony was absolutely curious, but he honored the request and stored the device in a drawer.
“So?” he asked, not sure what point the sorcerer wanted to make.
“I assume you’re quite equipped,” Stephen said and if this was any other situation Tony would have made a joke about it. But now he just nodded and walked to a locker where he’d stored some weapons. He had used them to test bullet impacts on Iron Man armors’ surface structure in the past. He grabbed a gun and put it on the table next to Stephen.
“I’d prefer you don’t do this.”
Stephen was silent. What he was about to say Tony would even like less.
He waited until the engineer looked at him, before he raised his shaking fingers in front of his chest. “These are not good for anything with precision. I know it’s a lot to ask, but could you-…”
“Absolutely not!” Tony protested vehemently. He was not going down that route. Sure, he worked with the Avengers and part of his job description was to neutralize threats. Forcibly if necessary. But this was different. He wouldn’t outride murder someone. No matter what nickname the press used to give Tony Stark.
As if he had read Tony’s mind, Stephen argued, “You are a weapon manufacturer.”
“Former.” His tone was biting. He knew it was something that would stick with him forever, even if he tried to do better, to change. He had made his amends with it. Hearing it from Strange had hit him unexpectedly and it hurt more than it should. It made him become defensive.
“I don’t know what kind of impression you have of me, but I don’t take lives lightly!”
“I will survive it.”
“But first you will be dead! This isn’t a game, Stephen. Even if today starts tomorrow anew. Killing is still killing!” Tony didn't understand why that wouldn't go into the sorcerer's head. Just because there were no physical consequences didn’t mean it was okay to go out and murder people randomly. That was what psychopaths would do. And Stephen wasn’t even a random person on the street. Tony couldn’t kill him. He wasn’t even sure if he could truly hurt him in any way – which would probably become a problem after this was over and they were on different sides again.
Strange didn’t look happy about his declining, his lip almost pouting. “Jarvis can do it then.”
That suggestion upset Tony even more. “Don’t you dare to pull my child into this! I won’t teach him to kill someone just because they asked for it!” He pointed accusingly at Stephen.
They were both still standing at the table, the gun between them. Tony was so very angry that Stephen had dared to ask him such a thing. He was angry Stephen didn’t seem to care about his own life. And he was angry that he had to tilt his head and look up at the man.
The sorcerer was adamant to push through with his idea. “Well, then you either do it voluntarily or I will make you do it.”
"How are you going to do that?"
“Magic,” Stephen simply said.
Tony yanked back as if he had been slapped. “You promised you would not mess with my head!”
“I don’t need to access your head to control your arm.” It was the equivalent of a threat.
Tony was very tempted to take the gun and kill him right at this moment. And maybe that was the sorcerer’s plan.
He couldn’t believe it. He felt angry, betrayed and foremost, fear that Strange would actually make his words reality.
“You wouldn’t dare,” he snarled. “Why risk this?”
“It’s important to know. For science,” Stephen dared to quote Tony and the engineer hated the implication he would justify anything in the name of science. “You should understand.”
“I’m sick of you! I don’t care how you proceed but I want no part in this.” Tony threw his hands in the air before he turned and left the lab.
He barely stepped out of the room when he heard a shot; right before everything went black.
_____________________
“Sir…”
Tony jumped out of bed as soon as Jarvis' voice woke him up. He was still angry. Angry and a little bit relieved that Stephen was alive. But mostly angry.
“That bastard!”
He stomped straight to the kitchen, pulling his watch into a gauntlet on the way. He pointed it right at the sorcerer who was leaning against the kitchen counter.
“Fuck you, Strange!”
Stephen froze. It had been a while since a weapon had been pointed at him when he arrived in the morning. And for a moment he wasn’t sure about the reason why. Did something go wrong?Did his death break the bond between them?
There’s panic in his eyes and the overthinking prevents him from speaking. Tony used this moment to step closer, the flashing repulsor still raised.
“You’re an absolute asshole! What were you thinking?” Standing now right in front of him, he grabbed Strange by both shoulders.
The cloak moved out of his way, probably approving the lecture Tony gave the sorcerer; and also trusting him enough not to actually hurt him. If Tony would stop and think about that, he would have an opinion about it. But right then his focus was solely on Stephen.
“What if it didn’t work? Did you even think for one second about the consequences?!”
Relieved, Stephen realized that Tony did remember and was just angry with him. He could handle that. Or so he thought. “There are no consequences. The time loop resets-…”
“I’m talking about me!” Tony cut him off, his voice raised. At this point he was almost shaking Stephen. Trying to shake some sense into him. “If the day hadn’t been reset with your death. If I had gone back into the lab, see you lying there… if… “
The image of Stephen with a bullet in his head, blood all around him was burned into his brain. He had been in the field long enough to know how a bullet to the head looked like.
Even thinking about it tightened his chest and made his heart ache. He would have blamed it on the arc reactor in his chest, but when he blinked, he noticed that his eyes were moist.
Tony knew how to mask his emotion. He had been trained in PR since the age of five. So seeing the man like this right in front of him surprised Stephen.
What surprised him even more was when Tony yanked him forward and roughly planted his lips on the sorcerer’s.
The engineer was annoyed, evidently, voice harsh and filled with authority, and yet? Yet, there was something else, a heat that had pushed the words out of his mouth. It pushed them together, lips pressing together with a firm urgency, teeth digging into Stephen’s lower lip.
Stephen gasped in surprise, grabbing onto Tony’s toned arms for support. He was overwhelmed by the man, his proximity, his familiar smell.
Tony pulled back first, not done with his rant. “I hope you’ve achieved what you wanted, because I’m not going to let you do that again. I refuse! I don’t ever want to hear you suggesting it!”
Stephen looked wrecked – his lips swollen and a blush on his cheeks – and he was too stunned to speak.
Jarvis was not. “Sir, I’m not sure if I can follow what’s happening.”
“I’ll explain it to you in a minute, J.”
It must have seemed strange to the A.I., downright crazy: the appearance of Doctor Strange in the kitchen, calmly requesting to see the engineer; Tony yelling – that part was probably understandable – and them kissing.
But Tony had already decided that they weren't going to talk about it. It had been the heat of the moment and wasn’t the main topic right now. He had let himself be tempted. The engineer sighed. “Your death restarts the loop, by the way,” he informed the sorcerer and turned to walk to the coffee machine. He needed a strong one. “You know what that means.”
Stephen followed his movements for exactly one step forward before he stopped himself. He was reluctant to change the topic and watched Tony fixing himself a cup, before actually realizing what the man had said.
“It changes nothing.”
“It changes everything”, Tony grumbled. “Don’t you see? That means it’s directly linked to your person.”
“It could still be due to the time stone I’m wearing.”
“Yeah? Well, let’s try that. Give the stone to me and kill me.”
“No!” Stephen protested so vehemently it surprised the engineer and he turned back to him, with the coffee in his hand. “I won’t risk your life.” Stephen knew he was a hypocrite for saying that but he couldn't help it.
“You risked yours,” Tony pointed out.
“That’s different.”
“How?”
“You are too important to the timeline.” Stephen shook his head. He didn’t want to explain what he had seen in the future. It wasn’t pretty, but it was inevitable. If they took the right path. And if Tony played his part.
None of that mattered if they didn’t stop the time loop.
Stephen looked down at his chest, then up at Tony. “No more deaths. But you’re going to wear the Eye of Agamotto.”
“What?” Tony thought he hadn’t heard it right.
“It’s a variable we haven’t tried yet. Just to see if it changes anything”, the sorcerer explained.
“Okay, if you’re sure.”
Strange had told him before that he would never hand it to someone. And he had been pretty adamant about it. To the point that Tony didn’t suggest it anymore. And usually Tony was very persistent about his ideas.
They must be running out of options.
Tony watched Stephen pull the chain over his head. “What? Like right now?” He put the coffee aside for a second.
“You’ll wear it during the day and the reset.” Stephen stepped right into his personal space and put the necklace around his neck. Tony didn't have the ability to activate the eye in any way. "Be careful with it," he warned him anyway. “The fate of the whole universe depends on the safekeeping of the time stone. I’m trusting you with it.”
“No pressure,” Tony mumbled but his eyes were solemn. Warmth flooded him thinking about how much faith Stephen put in him.
The eye felt heavy on Tony’s chest. A chunky piece of jewelry. It lay above the arc reactor. The feared feeling of magic did not appear and Tony was both happy and disappointed about that. He didn’t know what the fuss was about, but Stephen’s words prevented him from commenting. He sensed that this was a big deal.
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whatevenisexisting · 3 months
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The fact that there are people who want to have Epilepsy and read tips on it will never not disgust me. Like seriously. Y’all are fucking ignorant, ableist, and your identity is NOT in good faith.
Why? Because as someone who actually has epilepsy, it DOES hurt for me to see some people on tumblr want this damn condition. As I’m struggling to get through a work week, as I’m finally realizing I need accommodations, as I’m feeling frustrated because I haven’t had a seizure since April 19th, and I already had two this month.
Remember y’all, when you have a seizure, out goes your ability to drive for at least a few months. Put yourself in a small town with no public transit, rely on family to get literally ANYWHERE - and then tell me you’re “transepileptic”.
I wasn’t planning to ever drive again, but that decision DOES affect my life and let’s say I chose to drive once it was legal. Well, in my state I would have been able to drive by July but BAM. There it goes again.
Have a seizure, and you cannot drive. Now you have to find other ways to get EVERYWHERE you can’t walk to. And if it’s pouring like it is for me today? Yeah, your choice is either walk in the rain and get soaked, take an Uber for a ride that’s only 5-10 minutes and easy walking distance, or stay home.
Not everyone can rely on family or friends every single time they need to go somewhere, remember that.
And I know I’m focusing on this part but it’s just ONE aspect.
I mentioned I had a rough week at work and I did. Have fun dealing with post-seizure depression and just overall triggered depression as you work for a suicide hotline. Have fun not being able to tell 99% of your coworkers WHY you are struggling so much this week because you can’t even the say the name of your condition (and as a side note, your mom hates this and doesn’t understand - she thinks it just means you’re ashamed even though you aren’t), so yeah, they respect that and it’s your right but it would be easier to talk to them if they KNEW. But you don’t, because you barely accept your condition to begin with. (The five stages of grief? Yeah, apply them here and put yourself permanently in between denial and acceptance, also anger and depression, and have a jolly good time.)
Oh don’t forget needing time off work! Because if you’re lucky like me, you’re going to be exhausted the next day and will need to sleep all day! Which means using a sick day, and in America most people are LUCKY to get two weeks. My friend’s partner gets five days. Total. Of paid time off and sick COMBINED. So yeah, have a blast balancing what little sick time you get with needing to care for your body because sometimes you cannot recover quickly for them! You likely don’t know that tonic clonic used to be called grand mal (don’t worry most people without epilepsy don’t know this and you know you don’t have epilepsy soooo) but with grand mal, you might end up in the hospital because you can injure yourself! Any seizure that involves convulsions puts you at risk of physical (even mental, if you hit your head and get a concussion) injury, but I’m sure you haven’t thought of that part, have you?
Or maybe you have and you still want a condition that severely impacts people’s lives and can kill them, in which case you’re just ableist lmao, and insist that me being against people outright SAYING they’re faking a disorder is somehow transphobic or I’m “using the same talking points” as people against the trans community. Like stop stop STOP.
You know what the difference here is? Trans people didn’t choose to be trans, they can’t always come out of the closet because it’s NOT SAFE which surprise, might have a significant impact on their mental health. They don’t have a choice but to be closeted. Staying closeted STILL comes with consequences though. Coming out of the closet might come with consequences. There’s a reason trans people have such a high suicide rate.
As for the “talking points”…that’s just stupid because you people KNOW and SAY you don’t have this condition. You give each other “tips” for doing these symbols, or should I say FAKING the symptoms.
Me talking about the REALITIES of living with a disability is a desperate attempt to get you to stop romanticizing them. Me talking about the TRUTH of living with something like in my case epilepsy, is a desperate attempt to make you realize it’s NOT something you want.
I’M the one who didn’t have a goddamn choice for this condition. JUST LIKE trans people don’t have a choice to be trans and cis people don’t have a choice to be cis.
YOU fucking DO have this choice. YOU have the choice to get off Tumblr, out of this horrible echo chamber and ask yourself why the fuck you’re ASKING for TIPS FOR HAVING A SEIZURE.
Like for real, get off this hellsite and THINK about what you’re absorbing. This. Is. Not. Healthy.
And no, I don’t give a shit if you’re ~also disabled and okay with this~ because it’s not okay lmao. Like these are not good faith identities. Period. These people romanticize serious conditions, play into the idea that people with disabilities are faking theirs (especially if they suddenly become able to do things - “oh, jessy can do that, why can’t you?” Disabled people hear that enough already), and simply ignore the reality.
Ugh. I’m only writing this because Tumblr is a blog and a safe space to write, my therapist is sick today and can’t do a session with me, and I woke up still pretty sad and frustrated and then I thought of “transabled” people and decided to rant. Going to keep this public for now, might make it private later.
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seiya-starsniper · 7 months
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Trope Game
Finally getting around to doing this! Tagged by the amazing @tj-dragonblade and @reallyintoscience, thank you so much darlings! <3
Rules: How much do these tropes affect your decision to click on a fic?
-10 -> very dissuaded
0 - don't care either way
+10 -> very enticed
nope -> if it's a hard no and you'd never click on a fic with that tag or or you even have the tag blocked or you'd insta click out of the fic if it wasn't tagged
Bonus points for explaining the rating and whether it's conditional.
Age gap: +8
Age gap is a pretty compelling trope for me, mainly due to the power dynamic differences and how those get addressed. In a dark fic, the power imbalance can make for good whump/angst if the writer really leans into. In a more romantic/fluff setting though, addressing the age gap and the power dynamics in a healthy manner is practically a requirement for me to enjoy the fic. In a pwp/smut setting, sometimes it's just hot to have an older person guiding a younger one.
Codependency: +3
Co-dependency can be a compelling trope for me, but I won't seek it out unless it's from an author I know and love, or it's recommended to me by someone who shares my tastes. If it's darkfic co-dependency though, sign me the fuck up, maximum whump and unhealthy dynamics let's gooooooooooooo.
Obsession/Possessiveness, jealousy: +10
Love this trope. Love it in dark fic when things get dicey between the two love interests and there's a power struggle, but I also love it when someone kills someone just because they hurt their lover, amazing trope. A++++++++
Opposites (grumpy/sunshine etc): +20
99% of all my favorite ships are some combination of this in canon and in fic. Give me all of it, all day, every day.
Enemies to lovers, Enemies with benefits: +10
Big sucker for this trope in all forms. I love antagonism that turns into something else and then oh no, we have to actually communicate about things. Or not. Or, for maximum angst purposes, a betrayal happens. (can ya'll sense a trend yet lmaooooo)
Friends with benefits: +5
Big fan of this trope in a PWP setting, but for anything else, it must also be accompanied by (see below trope) or I probably won't be super interested in the fic.
Sex to feelings: +10
Absolutely love this trope. Sex first, communication second. Lots of room for misunderstandings and heart to hearts.
Fake dating/relationship: +5
Fake dating is my guilty pleasure and I adore it but it's not a drop everything and read it sort of thing for me. It's gotta be propped up by some of the other tropes for me to find it compelling.
Friends to lovers: +5
Same as with fake dating. There's gotta be something else in there to make it more compelling to me, but I do love reading it (and writing it!)
Found Family: 0
This trope used to be a +10 for me but I think I've burned out on it over the last few years lol. Too many antis have used the excuse "ew you can't ship them, they're part of the same found family so it's incest!" and I am just...tired lol.
Not to mention so much fic I've read is often just the female and/or poc characters propping up the white mlm ship and slapping "found family" on the tags.
That said, I'm still a sucker for the trope as a whole, just not so much in fanfic.
Hurt/Comfort: +10
ANGST ANGST ANGST. My bread and butter. Give me all the hurt/comfort. Or hurt with minimal comfort. I love having my heart wrung out.
Love Triangle: -10
Unless the love triangle resolves into a polyship do not even show me a love triangle fic lol.
Poly, open relationships: +10
A++++++++++ trope. No notes.
Mistaken/hidden identity: 0
Mistaken and hidden identity to me are two TOTALLY DIFFERENT THINGS but I digress. Not my favorite trope and won't go seeking it out. This kind of goes hand in hand with amnesia fic too I think. I have read some AMAZING ones, but that's like 1 out of every 50 I try to give a chance to lol
Monsterfucking: +100000000000000000000000
Just, yes. Proud monsterfucker always and forever.
Pregnancy: -5
Meh lol. I like kidfic quite a bit, but pregnancy is just not that interesting to me in fic. I think the one exception to this is maybe omegaverse pregnancy fic, but I think that has more to do with the fact that I'm a slut for omegaverse worldbuiding than anything else. Human pregnancy though, could take it or leave it.
Second Chance: +5
I really don't care for this trope as a whole, however I have read some amazing ones recently for Dreamling so it's I'm giving it some points. This is probably due to the fact that I am also a slut for angst hahahaha.
Slowburn: +7
I love a good slow burn but I am also impatient as fuck so I'm docking some points from the full +10 hahahaha. Bless authors for 100k slowburn fics, you are the backbones of fandom.
Soulmates: +10
I LOVE SOULMATES. I love true mates, I love all the lore around having one person be your other half. But I also love people who subvert the trope in fun ways, people whose soulmates have died, people who don't marry their soulmates, immortal soulmates, people born without soulmarks, worlds where soulmates aren't perfect and sometimes your soulmate is also your worst enemy. I may love the subversions more than the actual trope come to think about it lmao.
Tagging with no obligation @aquilathefighter @eobardthawneallen @lyriclorelei @rooftopwreck @ferelden-loser @tryan-a-bex @bazzybelle @zigzag-wanderer @silver-dream89 @lenreli @valiantstarlights
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measuringbliss · 11 months
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Spider-Man Read-Through 013: The War on... (ASM 93-99) P1
MASTERPOST
In this set of issues, Harry fights his addictions (to male muscles and to drugs), MJ is a floozy (good for her), and Peter doesn't have much luck (as usual).
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Depicted above: Harry being confused because his beard girlfriend is seducing his crush, while Harry himself is being seduced by another dude.
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Right off the bat, I'm very sad because what the heck! The last time we saw Spidey and the Prowler interact, there wasn't any bad blood between them, far from it. Ooooh, I don't like this...
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Just look at John Romita Sr.'s stunning artwork. It's not just that these panels look out of a romance story; they embody how soapy the magazine has become after Romita's takeover. I'm not surprised people were receptive to it; it offers a remarkable counterpart to the action moments. The melodrama is gripping, and both sides feed each other, similarly (if not exactly) to the spy/romance TV show "Chuck" from 2007.
Seriously though, look how handsome Peter is. Look how pulpous Gwen is. Look at their expressiveness, at their attractive features, at their posture. It's excellent artwork. Even when the stories are lackluster, the art rarely disappoints. Gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous.
So anyway, Peter's about to use the big guns to keep Gwen here, which. *sigh* We all know what happens to her. It feels reminiscent of TASM2. I'm bittersweet.
Peter remembers he is Spidey, and recognizes he has no right to ask Gwen to stay.
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By the way, I love his outfit. It's *very* different to what we've seen before. I'm not sure it really actually works, but I sure love it.
Turns out the reason the Prowler is an antagonist in this issue is that he has a hard time trusting Spidey after hearing about Captain Stacy's death. Another way the action and the melodrama influence each other! I'll accept it. I'm actually happy to know Hobie has an opinion on this.
And since Romita knows how to retain customers, he gives us some fanservice. Hell yeah. For what's worth, I still haven't seen any lady in such a getup in these comics yet. It's not the only way to show appealing stuff, of course, but it's still significant that in a magazine like Spider-Man, which seems to be aimed at boys first (if you forget Romita's arrival), you see more of the gents. Obviously, I'm simplifying this whole thing, but I had to mention it.
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This batch of issues might be in two parts (or more!) since I'm spending so many screenshots gasping in admiration of the art.
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Even as though the Prowler tries to kill him, Spidey helps him break his fall by telling him to use his claws. And of course, he calls him Hobie. He undresses him (to hide his secret identity, naturally) and drops him at the nearest hospital.
Spidey goes to Gwen's to try and tell her the truth --he's absolutely determined-- but he's informed she's en route for the airport. Oof. TASM2 flashbacks once again. She's even heading for Britain too! For a different reason (family in London/studies at Oxford).
But contrary to your typical rom-com, Peter doesn't arrive in time to catch Gwen. Reality ensued.
What a great issue! I absolutely loved it.
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Not to sound like a broken record, but he can get it.
The first seven pages of the issue are a recap of Peter's origin story, which combined with the uninspired cover really gives off the impression the plot idea was paper-thin. At least the art is nice!
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Betty is also reintroduced, but more importantly, Peter is wearing the exact same shirt as last issue's -- but different pants.
By page 15, the plot finally starts and Peter stops dwelling on the past because May's been kidnapped by the Beetle. About the most fun thing about this fight is that they crash into a public swimming pool. Audacious way to give me fanservice. I'll take it!
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I have to assume Betty being reintroduced is a way to fuel a new love triangle. Oh well. Isn't she married to Ned Leeds? Is he going to be back too? I'd love that.
In the next issue, Spidey goes to London! He's wearing again his yellow jacket/blue pants combo that I adore so that's a good sign. Robbie proves he's the best character by telling Peter to go "work" for the Bugle in London.
Gwen is absolutely depressed when she notices that Spidey has been hunting her across continents. She just can't seem to get rid of him!
Anyway, Spidey finds the people he has to save in Big Ben. You know. A clock tower. Oof.
On page 19, Peter finally thinks about the question I had from the beginning: was he really expecting to be able to speak to Gwen, with everybody knowing Spidey's in London too?
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YES.
If you remember, he's been aware that Peter's Spidey for. like. maybe two years? He had amnesia, but the last time we saw him was a while ago and he wasn't amnesiac anymore. But it appears Spectacular Spider-Man #2 took place after that since Norman obviously doesn't know who Peter is.
Everybody goes to see some shows, and May and Anna are going to see Hair. I really need to watch it hahaha, it's been on my list for a small while.
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A man tries jumping off a building but Spidey saves him, and a cop kisses the man. A boy asks about it but his mom is quick to reassure him that homosexuality does not exist. It is P U R E L Y P R O F E S S I O N A L (you know, like Robbie and Stacy's interest in Spidey).
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These panels dangerously sound like a kids' after special, but I appreciate the attempt. To think Peter would deal with this much more closely in a few years...
(Edit after finishing the batch: OOPS. Harry's drug problem was not a novelty in 1973.)
MJ's once again trying to make Harry jealous --and succeeding, confusing both men.
By then, Randy's totally integrated to the group (which is lovely) and he decides to call out Norman for not doing anything on the War on Drugs, which is definitely a big theme here (with the Green Goblin's persona being even compared to drugs).
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MJ also makes a dick joke and good for her.
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Harry tries to shoo away his homosexuality ("she's so great, right dad? huh? are you proud of me yet?") and Peter does his best concerned face.
The issue ends with MJ getting a standing ovation, the Green Goblin back and his memories fully restored. Oof. How's that war on drugs going, Pete?
In this post's last ish (#97!), Harry has been having a really hard time dealing with his buried sexuality, no thanks to Peter, who keeps hanging around, wearing not much.
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Peter can't help being a condescending asshole, naturally, it's part of his character after all, but I wish he used other words in his head for Harry. It also reeks of the writers not having quite enough knowledge to handle the subject appropriately. But oh well. it was mid-1971. I suppose it comes from a good place. I just can't help but imagine Peter would try and convince me not to take ADHD meds because ~I'd get addicted to them~.
Let's just say: the writers are trying.
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Hilariously enough, it looks like Harry's really trying to get *Peter* out of his mind.
Talking about Peter, his outfits have recently gotten quite... Bohemian. Not that I necessarily dislike it, but this is intriguing.
When Harry gets back home, Peter thinks for a moment that it's the Goblin. Ha. Ha. Ha.
It's very sad to see Harry's fall (not that he ever was really high), and what must happen happens.
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That's a nice cliffhanger to end this post on. I'm also getting tired, and I'm not sure I can put many more pictures here.
See you soon, all two of you who read my posts!
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yuexuan · 3 months
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[Review] 置换凶途
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Title: 置换凶途 Replacing the Evil Way
Author: 猫茶海狸
Length: 99 chapters + 5 extras
Tag: crime, mystery, parallel world, time travel
Summary [taken from novel updates]:
He Wei took over a murder case in an abandoned mansion, and the deceased Cheng Zesheng, Male, a pianist, was killed by gunshot.
At the same time, in the same mansion, Cheng Zesheng was leading a team to inspect the scene. The deceased, He Wei, male, a company employee, died of suffocation.
Different worlds, and different professions, the only thing in common was that they had died in each other’s world.
What was it that connected the protagonists of the murder investigation in the two parallel worlds? With the collision of time and space, the two parallel spaces had quietly changed. He Wei gradually found that this was an unsolvable situation. Struggling in the cycle of fate, how could Cheng Zesheng be saved?
Without meeting, there would be no beginning.
When the clock strikes zero, would he still stand the opposite?
Novel | Novel[translated] | Audio drama
Comments **Contains spoilers**:
The story starts off with two cases in parallel timelines, with MC and ML investigating each other’s death. Their worlds collide, however, when they stay within the 404 apartment unit: it starts with seeing signs of each other’s presence to eventually seeing each other’s full body manifestation. 
The clues of the two unsolved cases start making more sense as they take into account the parallel worlds, with people traveling between the worlds and time, including their alter-self. Everything seems to culminate around the scene of the murder. Just who killed MC and ML’s other selves? 
Highlights
I love stories that involve time travel and parallel worlds. They are such a headache to decipher, but at the same time it’s also so fun to try to figure out how the clues piece together and how MC can break through the cycle of unhappy endings. The different clues fit so well together and MC’s actions at one point in time have immediate bearings on subsequent events (so remember to bring pen and paper to note down the clues!).
There is something quaint about the structure and style of the story that reminds me of other danmeis such as 小镇 and 桐花路私立医院, which I really like. It’s the type of story that draws one in with the mysterious and strange setup, but also leaves one satisfied without having to give full explanations of why the parallel worlds and time loops happen. I really can’t explain it other than give the story a try and see whether you like this style of stories.
Along the same line, the creepy vibe of living alone in an apartment with clear signs of another inhabitant is very well written. I find myself sitting on edge while reading MC and ML’s initial meetings, even though I know they are each other’s ‘invisible’ roommates, but the way it is laid out nevertheless sends chills down my spine.
Cons
The mystery part mostly lies with the parallel worlds and less so with the actual cases, which leads to some pretty sus police behavior. For example, the fact that the police ignored the lake where the body of Xiao Shen was thrown in seems like a huge oversight and doesn’t read well when the story tries to show MC and ML’s ingenuity.
The story also isn’t fully resolved - It is not clear what happens to Cheng Zesheng in the parallel world where he has the cat that could travel between both worlds. The story focuses only on MC, thereby completely omitting the other ML in another world.
This might be a con for others - The later part of the story pretty much omits ML and features more interactions between MC and ML’s older brother. So if you’re into romance, I feel like this might not be a satisfying direction in the story.
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televinita · 3 months
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1-5 for the end of year reading ask! 📚
I appreciate you launching me on my quest to answer 'em all. 😄
1. How many books did you read this year?
Currently at 134, officially, but will probably still read another, plus 7 I generally consider Too Short for the official list but arguably could have been counted (Weetzie Bat, The Tiger Rising, Fairy Foals, Kill Joy by Holly Jackson, The Tales of Beedle the Bard, The Car by Gary Paulsen, The Pug That Bit Napoleon. I made a concentrated effort to keep track of my "supplements" this year).
2. Did you reread anything?
Running Out of Time by Margaret Peterson Haddix (which I'm 99% sure is a reread) and Weetzie Bat by Francesca Lia Block (on audio)
3. What were your top five books of the year?
I made a concentrated effort to determine this for Goodreads, so...
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4. Did you discover any new authors that you love this year?
Check the picture above for a little clue...
Or, you know, if the image ever fails to load, then I mean Mimi Matthews, who is also my most-read author for the year. She's an auto-read author for me now, maybe the first such one of adult books I've ever had; I'm following her on Twitter (I follow exactly zero other authors) and subscribed to her newsletter besides, because even though historical romance has generally not been the first subset of the genre I reach for, she writes romance in a way that perfectly matches my tastes. She also highlights pets in her stories, particularly dogs and horses, which also perfectly matches my taste.
5. What genre did you read the most of?
I'm afraid this requires statistics I have not yet gathered -- not least because I am always THE WORST at deciding genres sometimes and I feel like my reading ends up all over the map. I know the answer is always "not fantasy, sci-fi, or particularly literary fiction!" and that's it.
So I'm gonna guess with a very broad brush...just, realistic contemporary, women's fiction and/or romance, evenly divided between YA and adult.
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throwaway-yandere · 1 year
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🎐 anon
(Minor spoilers for the newest sumeru archon quest (just the alhaitham & kaveh conversation part))
You know, I kinda hate characters like alhaitham but after rereading the latest OCMC! Chapter and finishing the archon quest, I have undeniably grown a little soft spot for him. At first, it was because of that fountain scene in OCMC! . That fact that he threw most of his life behind to fulfill that promise with capo is really funny considering the fact that he was the one who thought how ridiculous the idea was when it was first proposed to him, yet he is also the one who continued to wait for them even after it became obvious that capo wasn't coming back, so he said "fuck it" and went to actually join the mafia in hopes of meeting them again. The idea is so absurd for a man like Alhaitham who is known to be rational to a fault but it's also so endearing to see him stumble through a life that isn't ideal for him just to stay with a person that doesn't even remember the promises and memories shared between them. Am I a hopeless romantic at heart? Most probably but so is he. Respect
Then archon quest came and gave the cutest interaction between him and Kaveh. He's so lively when conversing with him that I wished there were more interactions between them so we could see him act like that more often :( Also the fact that he teases Kaveh left me in shock cause I thought he was like, the stoic serious dude that never made jokes. But hyv has proved me wrong and I no longer know what to think of this man.
Tl;dr: Alhaitham's slowly worming his way into my heart and I want him to stop cause it would make killing him slightly harder and more painful. Am still aiming for the tighnari route but I'm like, 99% sure he needs to die for it to happen so please don't make me attached to him more than I already am </3
Major OCMC Chapter 3 & 3.2 Archon Quest Spoilers:
HDJSIAKOA YEP–
I don't usually like characters like Alhaitham who is all "facts don't care abt your feelings" but when I played through the archon quest, that impression of mine changed. He DOES care about human emotions (like that time he respectfully waited for the girl to come out of the house and personally tell the traveler where the mad scholars were), it's just that he has a strange way of showing it. He honestly has a sweet side, but his bluntness gets in the way severely.
If mafia!Alhaitham read this message he'd probably say something along the lines of:
"I didn't quit my job because of (N/n)– I just figured that they were right. Working for the bank was not for me. There is less autonomy to be had if you're strictly following a rule-abiding citizen's life." and other jokes Alhaitham tells himself.
He thinks he's sane compared to Tighnari and Cyno (and especially Diluc–) and would continue to do so... Even if at one point that logic becomes nothing more than a delusion.
If you don't want to be attached, then why not choose the choices that'll kill him : ) ???
Anyways, I still can't get over how I missed the extra dialogue between Kaveh and Alhaitham because I teleported in port ormos instead of walking out of the room.
Kaveh-Alhaitham dynamic is such a fun thing to read & write about lmao. I did not expect that Kaveh is the senior between them lolololol. Even in this fic I can't separate the two. I just HAD to sneak in that Alhaitham broke into Kaveh's house before lmaooo– Alhaitham literally has beef with almost every LI but his worst rival is hilariously enough, still Kaveh. Even though Kaveh is just a church architect (who also distrusts the church) here, our double agent can't easily win against him
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kitsunebishake · 11 months
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I'm so amazed at how honkai star rail for once got me hooked into a gacha game story
this rarely ever happens to me in gacha games, I usually go on for like a week and then lose interest (since it tends to get boring)
like, for example, with genshin I only started to catch interest in sumeru, yet I never got there because the gameplay being overwhelming + how much text I had to skip on inazuma lol (no hate if others liked it, I just didn't find it that interesting so I'd skim through it waiting for it to pick up,,, at some point I was only reading whatever ayaka and thoma said and ignoring everyone else, never even reached ayato)
MY POINT IS THAT THIS GAME HAS GOT ME ACTUALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO READING MORE AND THINKING ABOUT THE STORY EVEN 2 WEEKS AFTER I FINISHED WHAT WAS AVAILABLE OF MAIN STORY
this game? hooked from the start
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here's a screenshot of my best friend realising I was actually reading the story and not just skipping dialogues (something I am very famous for doing in my friend circle, it's a meme that I only have 2 modes: "I read this 3 times and didn't understand anyways" and "I read the entirety of this in 3 hours let me make an entire dissertation about it for you", and me going into the second one is a COMPLIMENT to the writer)
it's amazing
on that topic though, I think so much of that stupid coffin of luocha's... like genuinely, I'm like 99% sure I know what is inside of that shit and I am so fucking looking forward to seeing it happen
but also I've been also thinking of the relation between the xianzhou's history and fu hua's "no mercy for the corrupted" era
she's clearly the marshal, there's no way they're teasing a "marshal hua" (it's in one of the assignments), saying BARELY ANYTHING about the marshal on the xianzhou story video, and NOT making it the hua that is famous for destroying that of which she believes is corrupted without exception
the hunt's relationship with the abundance is exactly what was happening back in that plotline
plus we have jing yuan here who had to kill his own master, who imo looks like fu hua, and since he looks like jingliu there's that relation there for me, no one can convince me I'm wrong ok
his job as the general in the luofu feels as if fu hua and zhongli were mashed into a single character
(which worries me seeing the little twerp that is his disciple but I'll give the little shit the benefit of the doubt, I'm gonna enjoy avenging my goddess in the boss battle anyways)
WHICH
TAKES ME TO THE COFFIN
THAT'S TOTALLY JINGLIU
whether jing yuan requested it or if it's some sort of twisted "gift" from the abundance themselves I still can't tell from the clues we've got
these clues being:
luocha having a much stronger connection to his path, to even heal cyborgs with magic, carrying that shit everywhere, saying it's "a favor" from someone, saying he only met the person in the coffin once, his "it's a secret. (smiles)" as a response to being asked what his thoughts were on jing yuan in a JAPANESE MAGAZINE THEY REALLY DROPPED LORE IN A PART ONLY JP WOMEN AND POSSIBLY QUEERS WOULD READ
there's still nothing about whether this is also part of jing yuan's calculations or if this will throw him off guard,,,
AAAA I NEED ANSWERS HOYOVERSE WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME
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b99tgplhtgawmf1sh · 1 year
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J'ai publié 2 488 fois en 2022
C'est 2 163 billets de plus qu'en 2021 !
19 billets créés (1%)
2 469 billets reblogués (99%)
Les blogs que j'ai le plus reblogués :
@dickley-buddie
@buddiefanfictionarchive
@buddiefanfiction
@thebestbooksaround
@elvensorceress
J'ai étiqueté 2 441 billets en 2022
Seulement 2% de mes billets ne comportaient pas de tag
#0 - 579 billets
#buddie fic - 1 453 billets
#buddie - 296 billets
#911 spoilers - 135 billets
#b99 - 54 billets
#brooklyn 99 - 51 billets
#the good place - 49 billets
#tgp - 46 billets
#shadowhunters - 44 billets
#to read - 37 billets
Longest Tag: 90 characters
#it didn't even take them more than one morning handcuffed together to finally be together!
Mes billets vedette en 2022 :
n°5
Buddie prompt
Buck gets a glimpse of Eddie acting around his son before the grenade call. So he still hates Eddie, but he can't stop talking about him to Maddie.
One day, Maddie goes to the firehouse, and meets Eddie. And like the big sister she is, she decides to embarass her little brother.
"So, you're the famous Eddie Diaz."
"Do I know you?"
"Maddie Buckley, Buck's sister. He talked my ear out about you!" she replies, while Buck tries to stop her from talking. "He couldn't stop telling me about how great of a father you are. I think he's got a huge crush on you."
"He did?" Eddie couldn't help but ask, looking directly at Buck.
"Yes! I haven't seen him in 3 years, and he couldn't stop talking about you!" she answers, before she leaves them together.
"So you like me," Eddie teases Buck, with a smug smile on his face.
"Shut up! I'm going to kill Maddie, and then I will come back and kill you."
"I'm scared."
And then there is the grenade call, but unlike in canon, Buck is still close to the ambulance when it explodes, and he ends up at the hospital.
When he wakes up, Eddie is sitting at his side.
"You're a badass under pressure, brother. You can have my back any day!"
12 notes - publié le 18 juillet 2022
n°4
WIP WEDNESDAY
Buck and Eddie participates in the show Married at First Sight, and they end up paired together.
I started writing this fic before the 911's episode about this show aired, and I hope I will manage to finish writing it, cause I'm really excited about it!
Adrianna finds her brother frozen in front of the lake, and as she got closer to him, she notices that he was shaking.
“Are you okay?” she asks, leading him to a bench that was nearby. “I guess not, since I ran across your husband, who wasn't happy, to say the least.”
“I'm the biggest jerk on the planet,” Eddie answers her, but still not looking at her.
“As much as I would enjoy confirming you that affirmation, Eddie, you're not the biggest jerk on the planet.”
“What else would I be? I said yes to him, while I know I'm straight, and for what? Because our parents said they didn't want us to get married. I broke this man's heart because of my selfishness, and cowardice. I'm a jerk! And that's the nicest thing I can say about me.”
“First of all, since when are you straight?”
“Why everyone keeps assuming that I'm bi?” Eddie says, he almost wants to chuckle, because maybe everyone knows him better than himself, but he can't bring himself to.
“Well, I'm not assuming that you're bi. I thought that you were gay. And that Shannon was just a phase. Let me rephrase it,” she adds, when Eddie frowns at her. “I know that you loved Shannon, but I think you started dating her because that was what our parents expected you to do. And maybe what you thought everyone expected you to do at school, because you were spending all your time there with her. And then you got pregnant, and you got married. Too young and too fast. I know you loved her, and you still do even though she's not here anymore, but you never were in love with her. Your marriage wasn't a happy one.”
“I guess you're right,” Eddie admits with difficulty, feeling guilty towards Shannon.
“And I honestly thought that there was something going on between you and Stuart,” she adds, remembering all the times Eddie locked himself in the bedroom with Stuart after high school, spending hours together.
“What? He was my best friend Adri! We loved hanging out with each other, but there was nothing going on!”
“Excuse me to have eyes Eds! I can't even count the number of times I caught you staring at him, and it was definitely not in a best friend kind of way! You were almost giddy!”
“I don't know what you're talking about,” Eddie says, stubbornly. “Plus, I never came out to any of you, so you could have avoided assuming.”
“I'm really sorry about that Eddie. But with Sophia, we just thought that you weren't straight, and since you're you, we just assumed that you would not tell us with words, but with fact. Like coming to a family dinner with your boyfriend, and maybe in the process give our parents a stroke,” Adrianna jokes, happy to see a faint smile on her brother's face. “So, what are you gonna do about your husband now?”
“Apologize, and try to get him to listen to me. I want to explain everything, but foremost, I want to apologize.
13 notes - publié le 5 octobre 2022
n°3
Please, can someone write this? I got the idea while watching FRIENDS.
Buck and Eddie aren't together, even though Buck wants it desperately.
Buck gets the chickenpox right after Chris got it. He calls in sick the very next morning, not telling why he can't come, but Eddie suspects the reason why he isnt working ("Did you already have the chickenpox or not Buck?"
"Yes I did", Buck lied, before Eddie kicks him out of his house, in hope Buck wouldn't get it). So after his shift, Eddie goes straight to Buck's loft, and get inside without knocking.
He almost kidnaps Buck and takes him back to his place, so he can take care of him, and make sure Buck doesn't scratch himself. This is the first time that Buck sees Chris sick and so this is the first time he witness overprotective Eddie, who takes care of Chris a lot (smothering much?)
What Buck doesn't expect is that Eddie treats him exactly as he treats his son. Grounding him when he is scratching, make sure he eats, drinks, has everything he needs, cleans his spots all over his body... Buck even gets the goodnight kisses on his head.
He's almost disappointed when he's healed and as to go back to his empty loft, unless Eddie wants him to stay?
13 notes - publié le 15 mars 2022
n°2
Work inspired by actuallysara TARLOS PROMPT post
It's the prompt number 11
TK and Carlos have been seeing each other during calls but they never actually interacted with each other nor hooked up, no matter how much they both wanted to. One day TK rescues a dog and he can’t find the owner so he takes the dog home with him for the night. Maybe the dog ran away because there was a storm and it was scared and TK doesn’t wanna leave it in the street under the rain. He takes it to the vet the day after and the dog ends up being Carlos’.
***
A fresh start. In a new city. That's exactly what TK needed after what happened back in New York.
When Owen told him that he got a proposition to move out to Austin to rebuild a firehouse that had been slaughtered, TK wasn't thrilled because it meant he wouldn't see his father as much as he used to. Moving out to Austin wasn't an option for him. He wanted to stay in New York.
But after his failed proposal, and his relapse, TK knew he didn't have any other choices than to follow his father all across the country.
They were on the road to Austin the very next day after his dad found him inconscious on the floor of his appartment.
He was relieved in a way to let everything behind him in such short notice. His team at the 252 would not miss him at all - he was still seen as the Captain's son, not someone who fought to be a firefigther like everyone else - and his friends, well they were all Alex's friends first, so he knew they would all take his side. Maybe they already knew that Alex was seeing his spin instructor and never told him.
As his father told him while they were still in New York, he needed to get back on track. So the first thing he did when he arrived in Austin, after seeing the firehouse, was to look for a meeting. He managed to find one, and he got on well with someone from the meeting. A middle aged man, who went through what TK went through. The man told him about the therapist he was seeing, and gave him her card. The next day, TK took the card and booked an appointment. Even if he was still feeling numb all the time, he knew he was doing everything he needed to to feel better.
But life is always a curveball. TK is doing grocery, when a guy bumps into him, and almost makes TK lose his balance. The man was gorgeous, his body carved like a Greek god. He was tall, very muscular, the most gorgeous brown eyes TK had even seen. And really nice curly hair.
Read the rest on AO3
15 notes - publié le 12 janvier 2022
Mon billet n°1 en 2022
You've got to be kidding me!
I'm currently watching season 4 of 911, and the 6th episode ends up with Eddie on a date with Ana. And the 7th almost starts with Buck on a date with Veronica. You can't make this up!
Buck is like "Well my husband is moving on and what, he thinks he's the only one who can date someone? Well he's wrong, I can too!" and ends up on a terrible date.
37 notes - publié le 2 juillet 2022
Obtenez votre année 2022 en revue sur Tumblr →
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artificialqueens · 2 years
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Masters of the Scene, Chapter 14 (Bitney Parent Trap AU) - Veronica
A/N: I like to think of this chapter as a classic 90s sitcom. Hope you enjoy!!
Click here for prequels and previous chapters, or here if you’d rather read on AO3. 
Chapter Summary: Family bonding (though perhaps not the kind the twins wanted) at New Jersey’s most illustrious theme park. But Danny and Adore have a plan to make sure Mum isn’t left out. 
***
Courtney put down her book as the phone began buzzing. She smiled, accepting the FaceTime from Danny. She was relieved to see both kids sitting cross-legged on one of the beds in their hotel room, smiling back at her. She worried that they’d be mad at her for backing out and screwing up their plan. But they seemed okay, so she waved happily, a weight off her heart. 
“Hi darlings! It looks like you made it to the hotel!” 
“Yeah, we’re here. We wish you were here,” said one of them, biting their lip. 
Courtney was pretty certain that was Adore. She sighed. The last thing she wanted was to disappoint her daughter, especially when things had finally been going so well between them. She hoped that she could make her understand. 
“I know, honey, I’m sorry. But you’re gonna have a lot of fun anyway,” she insisted, trying to get them to see the bright side. After all, they both loved Six Flags, and they’d enjoy the rollercoasters no matter who they were with. Plus, if she knew anything about Bianca, it was how much she loved to spoil the kids when she didn’t think anyone would find out. When the kids still looked skeptical, she added a soft, “Trust me, it’s better this way,” not bothering to explain who it was better for—because obviously that answer was herself, and probably Bianca as well. She knew Bianca needed a chance to make things work with her new family, but that didn’t mean she wanted to be there to see it. 
“Fame doesn’t seem like the rollercoaster type-” 
“Or the fun type,” Danny (Courtney was 99% sure it was Danny, anyway) added drily. 
She cocked her head. Was it Danny? He wasn’t usually so cynical, but she’d been so certain that the first twin was Adore. How could she be having this much trouble telling her own kids apart? She took a deep breath. Now wasn’t the time for her neurotic self-doubt, now was the time to be present with her children. 
“Guys, please do me a favor, okay?” Courtney asked.
“Kill her?” Adore asked, perking up. Yes, that was definitely Adore. 
Courtney pursed her lips, giving a cross look, and Danny added, “We’re listening, Mum. What kind of favor?” 
“I really want you guys to give Fame a chance. I’m sure you’ll like her if you just get to know her. You love your mama, right?” Courtney asked, aware of the pleading note in her voice, how much she was asking of them, and how borderline manipulative it was to approach it this way. After all, they wanted what all children of divorce wanted: a happy, functional family with parents who loved each other. It wasn’t their fault that Courtney and Bianca couldn’t give that to them. 
“Well, yeah, but-” 
“And don’t you want her to be happy?” she asked, doing her absolute best not to cry. She could fucking cry later, by herself. They’d been divorced for almost seven years, plenty of time for her to get over it, get used to the idea of her ex being with someone else. In a way, she felt like she owed it to Bianca to make sure the kids were being as supportive as possible, after the stunt she’d pulled at the engagement party, potentially jeopardizing her newfound happiness. 
“Of course, but-” 
“And besides, you already know how smart she is, right?” 
“Yeah, but-”
“So you have to trust that she’s choosing to be with someone incredible, who will love you and support you and make your lives even better,” Courtney told them, determined to win this debate, even if she had to resort to logical fallacies to do so. “And Fame deserves to get to know you--as your wonderful selves. So please, let her see how smart and funny and lovely the both of you are. Alright?” 
The kids exchanged a dubious look. 
“Do it for me. Please,” she said. One final plea, one final guilt trip. 
Danny hung his head while Adore sighed. She took the moment of silence to blink rapidly, getting rid of the tears that had begun to form in her eyes. 
“Okay, we’ll be nice.” 
“I know you will, darlings. And I promise, when you come back on Thursday, I’m going to have a big, delicious lunch prepared for all of us, and we can sit down together and really work out the whole visitation schedule, so that everyone is happy. Okay?” She managed to swallow down her sadness and paint on a big smile once again. 
“Okay, Mum,” Adore said, and Danny nodded. 
They really were the most wonderful kids she could ask for. Courtney smiled, tearing up a little once again, hoping they didn’t notice. 
“I love you so, so, so much,” she said, blowing a few kisses at the camera. 
“We love you too. Can we call you tomorrow? Maybe with Mama?” asked Danny. 
“Um-” 
“Because, you guys said that all four of us could FaceTime every week. So-”
“You know what, if your mama is okay with that, then sure,” she said, hoping it wouldn’t turn into a problem. “Okay?” 
“Okay!” Adore chirped, bouncing a little on the bed. 
“And please go easy on the sugar tomorrow, okay?” 
“No promises!” Adore sang. 
“Yeah, I mean, if you were here, you could remind us of stuff like that, but…” Danny shrugged, a teasing grin on his face. 
“Fair enough,” Courtney chuckled, shaking her head. “You should both go to sleep now, okay?” 
“Okay. Goodnight, Mum.” 
“Goodnight, we love you!” 
“I love you both, too. With my whole heart.” She blew another kiss at them. 
Adore smiled, catching the kiss as the call ended. Courtney let out a huge sigh, laying back against the sofa cushions. Part of her still felt guilty for getting out of the trip, but while she knew that Bianca deserved a chance at happiness, that didn’t mean she was self-punishing enough to watch it happen. She hoped, for Bianca’s sake, that the kids really would give their future stepmother a chance. 
***
“Look! Wonder Woman!” Adore called, pulling on Danny’s hand. They’d just arrived at the park an hour earlier, and had already used their fast passes for Batman and Nitro. Now, they were heading for The Jersey Devil. Which was, admittedly, one of the scariest rides in the park. Not that Adore would admit that she was scared, or even nervous. But taking a few minutes of a detour to explore a little gift shop wouldn’t hurt. 
“Ooh, nice! Mama, can we go in here?” Danny asked, pointing to the gift shop. “Wonder Woman is Mum’s favorite superhero. Maybe we can bring her back something.” 
Adore gave Danny a wink, glad he’d caught on. 
“Sure,” Bianca said, beckoning Fame to follow. 
“And they have tons of Bugs stuff too!” 
Their plan was a subtle one—maybe too subtle, was her worry, but he’d insisted that it would work if they just kept at it. Doing anything openly rude to Fame wouldn’t work—it would piss off Mama and then she’d side with her dumb fiancée. Maybe even bring them closer together, which was the last thing they wanted. Plus, they’d promised Mum that they’d be nice. So they were going to be nice. 
And if they happened to be reminded of Mum and how great she was by everything they saw and did…well, no one could blame them for that, could they?
“Mum also loves Bugs Bunny,” Danny explained, and Adore tried to suppress her smirk.
“Yeah!” she said, nodding. “She says that Bugs was very progressive for their time because they’re gender non-conforming.” 
“You don’t say…Danny,” Bianca said, smiling smugly as she and Fame followed them around the shop.
“Why do you think I’m Danny?” Adore cocked her head, curious. 
“Because you just used the words ‘gender non-conforming’ without hesitating and I’m pretty sure Adore doesn’t know what that means-”
“Wow…so you don’t think Adore is smart?” Danny asked, grinning.
“Rude!” Adore added, actually feeling slightly offended. 
“I did not say that!” Bianca said, a hand on her hip, brow furrowed, stammering out, “I just meant-I mean-”
“Mum thinks Adore is very smart,” Adore informed her, “for the record.”
“Does she now?” Bianca asked. They held each other’s gaze for a moment, challenging, until Biana broke, laughing, and pulled her in for a hug. After squeezing her for a few moments, Bianca tilted her chin up and asked, “Adore?” 
“Maybe…” Adore said, giving a sly shrug. 
It had been a much nicer morning than Adore expected, based on Bianca’s foul mood the night before. But she seemed to have gotten up on the right side of the bed today, because she’d been laughing and joking with them, and didn’t seem to have caught on in the slightest to their plan. Plus, rollercoasters. So it was shaping up to be a promising day.
Just when she was worried that they’d been caught out, Danny came up to them, clearing his throat and doing his very best Adore impression, tapping his foot impatiently, a pair of Bugs Bunny socks in his hands. Bianca turned to him. 
“Hi. If you guys are done with your little bonding,” he said, “Can we get those for Mum?” 
“Sure,” Bianca said, eyes narrowed, looking from him to Adore and then back again. 
“Thanks, Mama!” Adore said, giving her best Danny smile, lashes fluttering up at her as Bianca released her from the hug, a puzzled look on her face. 
***
“Urgh!” Fame let out a horrified sound that was half groan, half shriek, recoiling from the railing. 
“What’s the matter?” Bianca asked her. They were heading onto The Jersey Devil, and though she had been a decent sport about everything so far, she was looking a little bit pale and Bianca could feel her tension. She knew that getting through today would require treading lightly, understanding the delicate nature of the situation. Unfortunately, not her strong suit. She was beginning to grow suspicious of what little angels the twins were being, and she suspected that Fame was too. “Are you okay?”
“I just touched something absolutely horrible. It was wet and sticky and…” Fame shuddered. 
“Do you want a wet wipe?” offered one of the twins helpfully, and Fame took it gingerly. 
“Oh! I have some hand sanitizer too,” the other one said, face sweet as pie. 
“Thank you.” 
What the fuck were those little monsters up to? Bianca’s eyes narrowed as Fame accepted a squeeze from the sanitizer bottle. At first, she’d been thrilled at how polite and friendly the kids were being. But now, it was starting to worry her. Not to mention how fucking annoying it was that she still wasn’t 100% sure who was who. She thought she’d figured it out a dozen times, only to second-guess herself. They’d gotten too good at impersonating each other. Plus she was fairly certain that they’d switched accessories and even shirts several times. 
“Mum packed our bags,” said one of the angels. “She says it’s always important to be prepared.” 
“Well that’s…very good advice,” Fame said as she tossed the wipe into the nearest trash can. 
“Yeah, she’s really smart.” 
“Omigod, there it is! Come on!” 
Bianca followed her precious children down the Fast Pass ramp, taking Fame’s (now clean) hand in hers, hoping that her cynicism was unfounded. 
***
Danny was trying to keep his promise to Mum. But he also couldn’t help but be a little annoyed about how well Adore’s plan was working. After all, they hadn’t said anything rude or mean or inappropriate. So why did Fame bristle the way she did every time they mentioned Courtney? It seemed to Danny like proof that she wasn’t a very nice person. 
“So Fame, do you do any charity work?” Adore asked. 
Fame paused in the middle of sipping her iced tea—she seemed thrown off by the question. They were all sitting down for lunch before moving onto Danny’s favorite rides in the whole park. 
“Our mum has a foundation that supports homeless trans youth,” he said. “And we both help out there.” 
Fame gave him a smile that looked more like a grimace, and said, “You must be very proud of her.” 
“Yup! She says that it’s really important to give back to the community,” 
“You know, Fame and I actually met at a charity event,” Bianca said, and Fame brightened. 
“That’s right!” She smiled triumphantly at both kids across the table. 
“Was she working it or attending?” Adore asked, one eyebrow cocked, and Danny kicked her gently under the table. Subtlety was the key to this plan, and not what she did best, so she really needed to follow his lead. 
“Attending, smartass,” Bianca said. 
“What was the charity?” asked Danny, taking a big bite of his bacon cheeseburger. Might as well max out his junk food allotment while he could—it would be back to quinoa, kale and red lentils soon enough. 
“It was, uh…the ABT’s Spring Gala at the Met, right?”  
“ABT?” Adore dipped a fry delicately into her ketchup. “So the charity was…ballet dancing?” 
“Supporting the American Ballet Theatre, yes,” Fame told her. 
“Is that really charity work?” Danny mused. “Going to ballet at the Met?” 
“Okay, listen, for two people who want to be in the performing arts, you’re being very judgmental right now,” Bianca said, pointing her panini at him. 
“The arts are very important,” Fame added, with a haughty tilt of her head that Danny didn’t appreciate. “Culture is important-”
“We know, but…it’s like…ballet versus homeless trans kids.” Adore demonstrated by weighing her hands, letting the one representing the kids drop to the table with a thunk. Excellent mime work, he noted. He should really tell her later. 
“It’s not a contest,” Bianca said.  
“Lucky you,” Danny muttered, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. 
Bianca threw up her hands in exasperation. “I know, I know, your mum’s the best,” she said, voice dripping with sarcasm as she continued, “Biggest heart, most talented, smartest, prettiest…” 
By then, both Danny and Adore were cracking up. This couldn’t have been going better if Bianca was conspiring with them. He knew that she was teasing them, but he couldn’t help but think that she actually believed what she was saying, even just a little bit. 
“Okay, that may be true, but you’re funny!” Adore said brightly, still giggling. 
“Thanks,” Bianca said, rolling her eyes and stealing a handful of fries. 
Danny looked up to catch the dirty look Fame was giving Mama, and hid a smirk behind his hand. Seemed like she might be thinking the same thing he was. 
*
It was clear from the first ride that this amusement park situation wasn’t Fame’s cup of tea. After lunch, she attempted to be a good sport, but her skin was looking more sallow with each ride and by the time they stepped off El Toro, she was looking downright green. The kids, on the other hand, skipped happily towards Medusa, totally oblivious to Fame’s misery. 
“Isn’t it so cool that we have Flash Passes? We can do sooo many more rides!” 
“Yes! We should do this every time!” 
“Mmh,” Fame said.
“Hey…” Bianca took her hand, lacing their fingers together. “Why don’t we sit the next one out?”  
“Yes please,” she nodded, shoulders sagging with relief. 
The twins whirled around, eyes pleading, voices like a Greek chorus. “Nooooo, Mamaaaaaa, you can’t miss Medusa, that’s your favorite!” 
“It’s fine, guys. Go have fun, we’ll be right over there.” 
“You know who just loves rollercoasters?” sassed one of the kids, who had to be Adore. 
“Let me guess,” Fame snapped, “Your perfect mum?” 
Both kids took a step back, eyes wide, and Bianca tightened her grip on Fame’s hand, voice lightly chastising as she said, “Fame…” 
“Ugh!” Fame spun on her heel, wrenching her hand away, and stalked off towards the benches Bianca had pointed out. 
Bianca knew she should go after her, do some damage control, but first, she turned back to the kids, putting a protective hand on each of their shoulders. 
“You guys should go ride Medusa.” 
“Are you sure, Mama?” asked a timid voice. Danny. 
“Yeah, have a good time. I promise we’ll be in that exact spot when you come out. Okay?” 
The kids nodded, sharing a look before giving her a big hug and then trotting off towards the ride. Bianca turned to Fame, taking a deep breath as she approached, especially when Fame avoided eye contact.  
“Look, I get it,” Bianca said, sitting down beside her. “They’re talking about her a lot. Probably on purpose, to annoy us. But…but snapping at them like that is just gonna make it worse.” 
Fame looked up sharply and said, “Well, unlike your ex, I don’t seem to possess unlimited stores of endless patience.” 
“Fame…” Bianca sighed. “No one’s asking you to be Courtney. I’m certainly not.”  
“It just feels like I’m never gonna win.” 
“Win what?! You shouldn’t ever be competing with her, for anything,” Bianca said. 
“But I know how much you love them, and if they don’t like me-” 
“Hey, I’m not asking for their approval, okay?” Bianca said, taking her hand gently. “I mean yes, I want them to like you, just like I want you to like them. But I love you, and that’s what matters.”
“It’s not just them, though. You…something feels different. And I’m worried that we’ll never get back to what it was like before…” 
“We will. But it might take a little time for everyone to adjust, and that’s okay.” 
“How long? Because right now, it’s like I’ve intruded on this perfect happy family, ruined the plans you all had, and I don’t know-” 
“Perfect happy family?!” Bianca snorted with laughter. A perfect family? Her and Courtney? She had to laugh, because if she didn’t laugh, she would cry. “We are so far from that. You have no idea.” 
“That’s what it seems like.” 
“Look, the truth is…” Bianca shook her head. “This summer is the first time in years that Courtney have even spoken to each other. Like at all. She had agreed to come but she was—we were both really dreading it. It was kind of a miracle that you showed up when you did.”
Fame frowned slightly, looking like she didn’t believe her. 
“It’s true. And also, Adore has never gotten along with her. Something must have happened while she was in California, because…this is a whole new relationship that they have. And the kids? I’ve never seen them like this! Ever! So…yeah, I know they’re being a little obnoxious, but I’m just so happy that they’re on the same team. For once.” 
“Even if that team is against me?” Fame asked.
“Does it help that I’m on your team?” 
“It doesn’t really feel like it.” Fame said, eyes unfocused on something in the distance. 
“I am. I promise,” said Bianca, giving her hand a squeeze. 
“Okay.” 
Bianca looked at her, wondering what else she could say or do. There was a gnawing feeling in her stomach, something inside her telling her that her chance at happiness, of having a normal life at last, was slipping from her grasp. She had to make this work—she had to. She tucked a lock of Fame’s hair behind her ear and leaned forward to press a gentle kiss to her cheek. 
Fame didn’t resist, which was a good sign. Instead, she leaned toward Bianca, head resting on her shoulder. Bianca closed her eyes, relieved. Maybe everything would be okay. She said a silent prayer that the rest of their little trip would go off without a hitch, and that they could just get through the next couple of days without any major incidents. 
They sat in silence, both of them thinking, both of them seemingly afraid to break this tentative peace. 
At the sound of a throat clearing, both of them looked up. The twins were standing there, holding a can of ginger ale and a cup of ice with a straw. 
“Do you feel better, Fame?” Danny asked. Bianca was now 100% certain that was Danny. Even though they’d switched headbands again. Goddamn kids. 
“We got you a ginger ale,” Adore added, holding out the can. 
“Oh…thank you.” Fame sat up straighter, taking the soda with a surprised look on her face. Bianca couldn’t help feeling proud of the kids, and a bit guilty for assuming that they were up to no good. (Wardrobe changes notwithstanding.)
“Thanks, guys.” Bianca grabbed Danny and pulled him into her lap. “That was really nice.” 
“Mum says it helps settle your stomach,” he said. 
Fame gave a smile that looked more like a grimace, saying, “She’s very smart, isn’t she? Aren’t you both so lucky to have her?” 
“Totally,” Adore nodded, an innocent smile on her lips. Bianca shook her head slightly, but decided to let it go.  
“We were thinking that since it’s so hot now, we should do Congo Rapids next,” said Danny. 
“Yeah, and you might like it. ‘Cause it’s not scary, just like a boat ride down a river,” Adore explained. 
Fame looked at Bianca, who tilted her head and said, “Well, ‘boat ride down a river’ might be a stretch, but it’s definitely more mellow than the others.” 
“Right,” said Danny. “You do get a little splashed, but that would feel good right now, wouldn’t it?” 
It was pretty disgustingly hot and humid, so Bianca nodded, telling them that was a good idea. She looked at Fame, asking, “What do you think? You up for a boat ride?” 
“That actually…sounds nice,” Fame said, reaching for her hand again. 
It would have been nice, too, had Fame not ended up in the wet seat—it only happened about 1% of the time, but once in awhile, there was a seat that got absolutely drenched on that ride. It was always the kids’ biggest hope that it would be them—after all, it was over 100 degrees that day, humid as shit, and being soaked from head to toe in cold, albeit fairly filthy water, was a dream. The first time a wave came up over the side to soak her, Bianca had tensed up, wondering how she’d react. 
She was a good sport, though, laughing along with the kids. However, her laughter faded with each subsequent wave, while the kids’ screams of delight grew and grew until they were laughing so hard they could barely breathe. At one point, Bianca even switched seats with her, and of course the next wave still hit her, in Bianca’s old seat, which the kids found utterly hilarious, clutching their stomachs and doubling over. When they finally stood to exit the ride, Bianca could see that Fame was practically vibrating with anger. 
“Omigod, that was so funny!” Danny gasped.
“Fame, do you feel refreshed?” asked Adore. 
Neither kid waited for an answer, bursting into peals of laughter once again. 
Bianca quickly shoved some cash into their hands and shooed them off to buy ice cream, then turned to Fame, who was barely keeping a lid on her simmering rage, her clothes and hair dripping, her face a storm cloud.  
“Okay, I’m really sorry,” Bianca said, apologizing for about the 50th time since the ride began. 
“They knew it would happen!” Fame exploded, pushing a few soggy locks of hair out of her face. “They made me sit there on purpose!” 
“Fame, it’s just luck. They didn’t-” 
“They did!” 
No matter what Bianca said, Fame was utterly convinced that the ride was a vast conspiracy to embarrass her. Even a playful comment about how cute she looked in a wet T-shirt did nothing to help the situation.  
“Fame-”
“Don’t! I know that they set me up! Stop defending them!”
“But I-” 
“You said you’d be on my side!” she shouted, finger in Bianca’s face. 
“I am!” Bianca groaned. There wasn’t gonna be any winning this one. 
“Look, maybe I should just go,” Fame sniffled. 
“No, Fame, don’t say that, we can-” 
“I’ve just had enough. I’ve had enough.” 
“Okay, okay…” Bianca put her arms around Fame’s shoulders, trying to comfort her without getting herself wet. No use in both of them being sopping wet disasters. 
“I just can’t be here anymore.” Fame told her. 
“Alright. Why don’t you head to the hotel, maybe spend some time at the pool, ask the…” 
“You don’t need to micromanage my day,” Fame snapped, and Bianca nodded. 
“Right. Sorry.” 
Fame sighed. “I’m sorry. I’ll see you later, okay?” 
“Sure.” Bianca smiled tensely, leaning forward to press a kiss to her lips, trying not to read too much into it when she pulled away. After all, she was wet, and annoyed, and probably needed some space, right?
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bookofmirth · 2 years
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Nothing about the valkyrie winning was believable, it’s really that simple..Three very out of shape, inexperienced women trained for a few weeks, and suddenly they’re proclaimed valkyrie? winning a competition that requires them to kill fully trained illyrian warriors and out survive them. oh and the bracelets helped them find eachother, and they also went to the mountain no one dares to go to, not even rhysand, azriel and cassian. this isn’t even being stated to shit on the girls I love the girls, but their storyline is the worst sarah has ever written, besides the triggering secret keeping baby storyline she came up with. every other storyline she’s written went smoother than this book. as an aspiring writer it’s actually embarrassing writing to have those girls win the rite, and no hate to anyone it’s just a laughable writing decision..if I were sarah I’d be embarrassed to even explain the ending of that book with the “valkyrie” if it’s ever brought up, they are adorable strong characters but they just have a horrible climax that made no sense 😕 it’s hard to even re read it. people who like, LOVE that book are real troopers. I wish I could enjoy the book, but it’s just a mess. All that sex, like 6 sex scenes, yet.. no conversation between the sisters or nesta and feyre (who is a big part of the reason why nesta had so much self loathing) but sjm had nestas main issues seem like it was her father and not being worthy of cassian..while her issue with feyre was in the backround 💀
I hope this next book isn’t a mess like this one was, and I hope she actually listens to constructive criticism because I have a sense this author is just in her own world and doesn’t care about criticism even if it’s justified. she’s probably living her best life, but I guess when you have so much success you can afford to have one kinda shitty book. i don’t mean to be mean but yeah. all the potential she has to ruin things by having bryce’s pov in prythian will be interesting to see. all CC is about is every character thirsting over bryce, acting like she is capable of being a “queen” and corny one liners “yeah boys we’re doing this screw you alphaholes I have a nail appointment” like???? I’m sorry 😭😭😭 I’m on the side of being optimistic but also filled with dread. no point though ik, she’s gonna write what she’s gonna write..
Nothing about the valkyrie winning was believable
*to you. It was believable to other people, the anons I got and myself included. It's fine if you weren't able to suspend your disbelief! We don't have to agree on this. I get where people are coming from, it's just not one of the issues that I really care about in acosf, I suppose.
I've definitely pointed out ways in which acosf fell flat for me, mainly in terms of plot. The Blood Rite is just one of those things that personally, made sense to me. There are things I look at harder in acosf than other things. The pregnancy plot clearly made no sense, we can all come up with 12 reasons why it was nonsense without even trying. The sex and alcohol thing... I hate. Hate hate hate.
Here's something, Nesta just happening to be at Emerie's the night she gets kidnapped? For some reason to me that's way more eyeroll-worthy than them winning the Rite. Actually I know why - it's because Nesta and Gwyn also being kidnapped relied 100% on coincidence, whereas they had been training for months to be Valkyries, and they had also passed the Qualifier in front of Declan. Darrow. Whatever his name is. Douchebag. Az and Cassian also set it up so that the Valkyries could take the Qualifier, meaning they had confidence they would complete it.
the bracelets helped them find eachother
This was set up though? Nesta wished on them, and we know she can make objects all powerful and stuff. This is why I am 99% that Gwyn will leave the library, btw, them finding one another was just one part of that wish. The other part was that they felt comfortable going out into the world when they were ready.
I have a sense this author is just in her own world and doesn’t care about criticism even if it’s justified.
Oh 10000%, sjm does what sjm wants to do, and yeah, that's great for her but some of us are looking around the room like John Travolta over here.
CC is about is every character thirsting over bryce
She drives me nuts 🙃 I hope that now sjm has all these pieces set up for the crossover between the two series, the plots will start to make more sense. If acosf was a mess in part because she was shoving pieces in so she could reference them later (e.g. Gwydion) then hopefully she's doing messing around now.
I am the same as you, optimistic but not holding my breath? I just figure this isn't the only series I read, there is plenty to keep me entertained in the meantime, and if things were better thought out then tbh, I probably wouldn't be on tumblr scratching my head trying to figure it all out every day.
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leopardmask-ao3 · 1 year
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I posted 2,597 times in 2022
That's 2,460 more posts than 2021!
56 posts created (2%)
2,541 posts reblogged (98%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
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@theminecraftbee
@favoriteginger
@quietlywatchingwritingreading
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I tagged 2,033 of my posts in 2022
Only 22% of my posts had no tags
#hermitcraft - 412 posts
#fanart reblog - 369 posts
#for mom - 250 posts
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#empires smp - 146 posts
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#pixlriffs - 61 posts
#minecraft - 48 posts
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Longest Tag: 137 characters
#but maybe that's what happens when you lived on an ocean world and then bioengineered yourself in the opposite direction when it exploded
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
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The art piece I did for the content exchange hosted by @mastasof-ravenkroft ! My giftee was @muuum-am-i-adohhhpted and their Empires fic Beyond The Sunflower Field (which I loved, by the way)! This piece was a very new style for me, but the painterly vibes just felt right for a scene of Gilded Homestead/Heliantha. I decided to set it somewhere around mid-fic, where Pearl has been working the land around Heliantha for a while, but hasn't taken on her leaderly title yet.
17 notes - Posted September 3, 2022
#4
10 Weeks of Celebration for 10 Years of Hermitcraft
Prompt 2: Meaning and Impact Anyone can learn how to build beautiful things. Just ask Bdubs! Even people who have tried to kill him in the past are welcome students of his brilliance.
Read it on ao3 or
"Your base is... tall."
"Why yes it is! Thank you for noticing!"
Bdubs led Foxtrot across the grounds outside his monolith. "So, what brings you to my humble home? Just a neighborly visit, or are you looking for advice from ol' Bdubs?"
The android dragged his gaze away from the towering structure and focused on Bdubs' face. He was still learning the balance between politeness and honesty... "Both?"
"Well, welcome," Bdubs replied. "I do love seeing my wonderful friends and neighbors take an interest in what I'm doing. I saw you're building a base of your own here - that's great!"
"Yes, I wanted to join in with the town plans," Foxtrot replied, "learn how you all do things and be a part of it. I never really learned how to... make stuff that looks good, though - before finding you all, I had no reason for that."
"Oh yes, that's revenge quests for ya." Bdubs nodded. "And of course, you came straight to the expert!"
"Well, I asked Tango first," Foxtrot corrected. "He told me to come talk to you, because that's where he learned a lot of building tips from and he thought you could explain things better than he could."
"Awww, how schweet of him," Bdubs effused. "Come in, come in, I'll show you around!"
Bdubs backed into a corner to let Foxtrot through the door. "It's kind of tight quarters in here, I know, but that made every floor a great challenge for me. I don't know that I'd recommend makin' too many rooms this small while you're still learning what you're doing, to be honest, but feel free to use any ideas you get from this place!"
"Okay!" Foxtrot looked around the entry room, focusing on the half-hidden barrels and chests. "Why are these... like this?" he asked. "I think I understand the arch, but you'd get much more storage if you didn't have the trapdoors and just had a wall of just barrels."
"Ahhh, but it's all about texture and breaking up the space, isn't it?" Bdubs replied. "The shelves just make sense here. And there's more storage up on the second floor - it's not like I need it all in one place." He led Foxtrot up the stairs to show him. "See? There's always a balance to be struck. This is all perfectly good storage space! It just doesn't need to be all lined up in straight rows of labeled double chests to do its job!"
"So basically, don't have too much in one spot that's all the same thing."
"Yes, yes, exactly that! And make sure you mess around a bunch with the details. For example: trapdoors are a wonderful thing to add in if you aren't sure what to do. Come on, I'll show you just how much detail you can pack in if you want to - and more storage!" Bdubs started up the stairs again. "Come check out my plant lab."
Foxtrot pricked his ears a little higher in curiosity. "Plant... lab-?"
18 notes - Posted April 21, 2022
#3
Week 4 of the 10 Weeks of Celebration for 10 Years of Hermitcraft challenge - this week's prompt is "Comfort and Calm".
Stress has her name for a reason. She senses it in others, and though she wasn't there for it herself, she can feel the effects of the moonpocalypse from everyone around her. She does her best to help out in her own way.
Read it on ao3 or
Stress hummed as she assembled and set a picnic table in front of her house, big enough to seat seven or eight people. She had realized, somewhat belatedly, that her little teapot house may not comfortably fit everyone who was invited - though it was certainly open to them - so this tea party would be held mostly outdoors.
Zedaph was the first to arrive, trotting up while Stress was still setting the table. After an animated greeting, he picked up a couple plates and started to help out. He had somehow gone through the end of HC-8 and the move to HC-9 practically unscathed, and Stress had invited him because she appreciated having more of that kind of energy at her little gathering. She herself had been off-world at the time: an extended vacation with Iskall and the other Vault Hunters, which had become even more extended when they heard the news.
Stress and Zedaph chatted for a while, but as soon as Tango reached them, Zedaph was there. He hung off Tango like a human weighted blanket, even as Tango tried to sit down. Tango clearly didn't object, though. Stress giggled at the awkward position this put Zedaph in and pushed a chair closer. "'Ere you are, why don't you both sit like that, eh? Instead of contorting yourself to lean over him all the time."
At this point Tango was chuckling too and he gently shoved Zedaph into the second chair. "Yeah, you don't have to twistificate yourself around on my account. Plus we'll both need our hands free for food."
"Oh, yeah, good point." Zedaph extricated himself and sat down, but sat almost between chairs, pressing himself against Tango's side and acting very casual about the fact that he was doing so. Stress just gave that a knowing nod. At Xisuma's request, she had been the one who had finally found Tango, adrift and alone. He needed the weight and presence of some human friends.
By that time, the other invitees had arrived: Cleo, Jevin, and Xisuma. Stress greeted them warmly and served tea to everyone before sitting down herself.
"Are we expecting one more?" Cleo asked, indicating the empty chair with a place setting.
"Don't you worry about that," Stress replied. "'Ave some tea, 'ave some snacks. It ain't much, since we've all practically just got 'ere, but that's alright, innit?"
"We're all here, and that's what matters," Jevin agreed, picking up his teacup in both hands and savoring its warmth. "Food and stuff will all happen eventually."
Xisuma just nodded at that. He had taken his helmet off for politeness and to drink his tea, and he still held himself nervously, as if expecting someone to come up behind him at any moment and tell him to stop having fun - but the others could see him smile a little more every time he looked around and saw a hermit’s base or one of his tablemates.
The conversation was quiet, but earnest and kind. Everyone mostly avoided talking about what had happened, instead expressing their relief and excitement at the new world, their new plans, and what they could do now that they were together again. The snakes that Cleo had acquired occasionally reached for a bite off one plate or another. Cleo fed them morsels, Xisuma didn't seem to notice nibbles disappearing, and Jevin waved one away like an annoying fly as he reached to refill his cup. (No one had actually seen him drink any tea, and no one was paying enough attention to see how he held the mug with a thumb dipped into it. He never had figured out an easy way to absorb liquids that looked like how the humans did it.)
"Halloooo Stress! What's all this about?"
Stress looked up with a grin at the new arrival jogging toward them. "'Ello Iskall! Care to join us?"
Iskall put his hands on his hips with exaggerated indignance. "You're throwing a whole party over here and you didn't invite me? How could you!" He cracked a little smile, mostly joking and unable to be truly mad.
"Well, clearly I didn't need ta," Stress pointed out, "seein' as you found us anyway, right? Look, I even set a spot for you. I knew you'd turn up whether I wanted you or not."
"Well, if you insist..." Iskall sat down with a huff, then giggled, triggering laughter from the rest of the table. "Hallo, everyone else here too! Could someone please pass the tea?"
20 notes - Posted May 5, 2022
#2
Loving the vibes of Pixlriffs, by all accounts and behaviors the most Normal Guy around, just hanging out in his yard having a conversation but then briefly having to pause said conversation to go chase away a minor god like he's chasing off a stray cat that got into the garbage
109 notes - Posted June 30, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
I'm seeing people post their art here that they did for the 10 Years Of Hermitcraft, 10 Weeks of Celebration art and writing challenge and realizing, oh, yeah, maybe I could post the fics I'm writing for it here too. The challenge isn't really tailored to writing but it says it is so I took it as a writing challenge anyway.
Prompt 1: Dressed for the Occasion In which Grian helps Cleo make her new dress a little bit better. Who better to ask for clothing help than someone who sewed himself together?
Read it on ao3 or
"You're going to the party like that?"
Cleo turned and gave Grian a withering gaze. Grian's button eyes gave no hint to his intentions. "I am," Cleo replied. "Is there a problem with that?"
Grian ran a finger around one cuff of his red suit - a slightly nervous habit that he'd probably picked up from Mumbo. "Well, your dress is very nice, and I get the look you like to go for, but that tear in the side..."
"Is meant to be there, yes," Cleo finished. "I've got to have inventory access somehow, right, even at a special event."
"Inven- right, of course," Grian realized. "Well, even though we both know it's meant to be there, it doesn't really... look like that, does it? It kind of looks like you had an accident with a tree branch, to be quite honest."
Cleo crossed her arms. A few of her snakes hissed at Grian. "Oh, it does, does it? Are you offering to help fix it?"
Grian nodded. "I am, actually. We can definitely keep the gap there, but just make it look... cut, rather than ripped, right? And that would mean making it a tiny bit bigger, so it'll actually be easier to use."
"...Can you do this while it's on me?" Cleo relented. "I don't fancy trying to get this dress off and on again right now."
"Yeah, should be simple enough," Grian decided. "I'm not going to try and hem it or anything, that would make it look too fake. Gotta go for at least a sort of natural look."
So, Cleo stood with her arms crossed as Grian worked away, using a miniature pair of shears that he always had on him, trimming away stray threads and bits of fabric and treating the cut edges with a special slimeball-based glue he'd gotten off-world.
"I gotta say," Cleo commented, watching him work, "I didn't really expect you to be this... graceful at this."
"Lots of practice," Grian replied. "It did take a few tries to get the hands right on the body I pattern all my others on, but I need the ability to repair myself, right?"
"Ah, yeah, that's true, isn't it. You get good at one-handed sewing too, since they're always the thing that get damaged first."
"Ughhh, that is the worst when that happens. Sometimes I have to use another body entirely to fix the first, but you don't really do that, do you?"
"No, that's pretty uniquely a you thing. I just gotta either deal with it anyway or ask whichever hermit is closest that I trust with a needle."
"Are there many of those?" Grian asked, an invisible smile in his voice.
"No."
Grian laughed, then put away the anti-fray solution and got out a needle and thread.
"I thought you said you weren't going to hem it." Cleo frowned.
"I'm not, I'm just making sure the corners don't pull too hard." Grian made a few quick stitches here, a couple more there, then stood up and clapped once, an action that made no sound except a quiet paf. "Right, finished." He set down two gold blocks between them. "What do you think?"
Cleo turned to the side, looking at her reflection in the polished gold. Grian had turned the ripped bit into a sort of flame-shaped opening at her waist, a curving shape that actually complemented her nicely, rather than looking like - well, like a zombie had ripped a hole in it with their teeth. Whlch may or may not have been what she had previously done to it.
"I think... I really like that actually," Cleo admitted. "Thanks for that."
"A hole in a dress that shows off the hole in you," Grian said matter-of-factly, as if that were a common, normal reason for a design choice. Then he snickered, which Cleo followed.
"It does!" Cleo said with exaggerated emphasis that just made Grian laugh harder. "It's so practical!" In a more normal voice, she continued, "Genuinely, it never occurred to me that you had sewing skills that extended past, like... making weird new bodies for yourself."
"Oh, yeah," Grian said as the two continued on toward the party. "I make, or at least adjust, most of my clothes - even did a dress for myself once or twice. Anyway, who do you think tailors Mumbo's suits?"
132 notes - Posted April 18, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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that-spider-witch · 3 years
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On “Dead” Cultures and Closed Spiritual Practices: Why Colonialism Is Still A Problem.
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Let me start this by saying that, as far as my knowledge of Paganism and Polytheism as a whole goes, I’m what the internet witch community calls a “Baby Witch”. I’m stating this out of the gate because I know there will be lots of people, including witches who have more experience on the craft than me, who might decide to ignore what I have to say based on that fact alone, stating that I’m not knowledgeable enough to give my opinion about this.
Here’s the kicker: I’m a ‘baby witch’, yes, but I’m also a twenty-six year old Venezuelan woman. I’m an adult. I’m Latina. I’m a Christian-raised Pagan,but I’m also a Latinoamerican woman over all other things including that. I grew up on this culture, these are my roots. It is because of this background than I’m writing this post today.
Looking through the “Paganism” and “Witchcraft” tags of this website, I’ve seen a few posts throwing indigenous deities and spirits’ names around on lists alongside deties of open cultures. Yes, you can know better by doing your own research and not going by what just a random Tumblr user wrote on one post (as I hope its the case with everyone on this website), but the fact that pagan beginners are still getting fed misinformation is still worrisome to me.
There’s nothing like reading a so-called expert putting Ixchen (Maya), Xolotl (Nahuatl) and Papa Legba (Vodou) on the same damn list as Norse, Hellenic and Kemetic deities and tagging it on the tags aimed at beginners who might not know better to truly ruin your morning. I’m not mentioning user names here: If you know then you know.
To quote @the-illuminated-witch on her very good post about Cultural Appropriation: 
“Cultural appropriation is a huge issue in modern witchcraft. When you have witches using white sage to “smudge” their altars, doing meditations to balance their chakras, and calling on Santa Muerte in spells, all without making any effort to understand the cultural roots of those practices, you have a serious problem.
When trying to understand cultural appropriation in witchcraft, it’s important to understand the difference between open and closed magic systems. An open system is one that is open to exchange with outsiders — both sharing ideas/practices and taking in new ones. In terms of religion, spirituality, and witchcraft, a completely open system has no restrictions on who can practice its teachings. A closed system is one that is isolated from outside influences — usually, there is some kind of restriction on who can practice within these systems.”
A counter-argument I’ve seen towards this when someone wants to appropiate indigenous deities and spirits is to use the “dead culture” argument: Extinct cultures are more eligible for use by modern people of all stirpes. It is a dead culture and dead religion. It would be one thing if some part of the culture or religion was still alive, being used by modern descendants, but the culture died out in its entirety and was replaced, right? They were all killed by colonization, they are ancient history now, right?
Example: “If white people are worshipping Egyptian deities now, then why can’t I worship [Insert Aborigen Deity Here]?”
To which I have two things to say:
Ancient Egypt’s culture was open and imperialistic, meaning they wanted their religion to be spread. This is why Kemetism is not Cultural Appropriation, despite what some misinformed people might tell you. Similar arguments can also be made for the Hellenic and the Norse branches of Paganism, both practiced by people who aren’t Greek/Norse.
Who are you to say which cultures are “dead” and which are not?
Religious practices such as Vodou and Santería certainly aren’t dead, not that it keeps some Tumblr users from adding Erzuli as a “goddess” on their Baby Witch post, something that actual Vodou practitioners have warned against.
Indigenous cultures such as the Maya and the Mapuche aren’t dead, despite what the goverment of their countries might tell you. The Mapuche in particular have a rich culture and not one, but two witchcraft branches (The Machi and the Kalku/Calcu). Both are closed pagan practices that the local Catholic Church has continuously failed to assimilate and erase, though sadly not for lack of trying:
“The missionaries who followed the Spanish conquistadors to America incorrectly interpreted the Mapuche beliefs regarding both wekufes and gualichos. They used the word wekufe as a synonym for ideas of the devil, demons, and other evil or diabolical forces. This has caused misunderstanding of the original symbolism and has changed the idea of wekufe right up to the present day, even amongst the Mapuche people.”
For context, the Wefuke are the Calcu’s equivalent of the Familiar, as well as reportedly having more in common with the Fae than with demons anyway.
This and other indigenous religions are Closed because it is wrong for foreigners to just come and take elements from marginalized groups whom are still fighting to survive and that they weren’t born into. To just approppiate those things would be like spitting in their faces, treating them and their culture like a commodity, a shiny thing, a unique thing to be used like paint to spruce up your life or be special.
I know some of you are allergic to the word “Privilege”, but on this situation there really ain’t a better word to explain it. You weren’t born here, you don’t know what it is like, you are only able to see the struggle from an outsider’s point of view.
If a belief or practice is part of a closed system, outsiders should not take part in it. And with how many practices there are out there which are open for people of all races, there is really no excuse for you to do it.
Why Colonization Is Not “Ancient History”
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If you have kept reading all this so far, you are probably wondering “Ok, but what does Colonization has to do with any of this?”
The answer? Everything.
With the general context of culture appropriation out of the way, let me tell you about why the whole “dead culture” argument rubs me the wrong way: Here in Venezuela, we have a goddess called Santa Maria de la Onza, or Maria Lionza for short, whom’s idol statue I have been using to illustrate this little rant. If you happen to know any Spanish, you might recognize the name as a derivative of Santa Maria, aka the Virgin Mary, and you are mostly correct: Her true indigenous name is theorized to have been Yara.
And I say “theorized” because it is a subject of hot debate whether she was really ever called that or not: Her original name, the name by which she was adored and worshipped by our ancestors, might have been forever lost to history.
That’s the legacy of colonization for you: Our cultures were stolen from us, and what they couldn’t erase they instead tried to assimilate. Our ancestors were enslaved, their lands and homes stolen, their artwork and literary works destroyed: The Maya and the Aztec Empire were rich in written works of all kinds, ranging from poetry to history records to medicine, and the Spaniards burned 99% of it, on what is probably one of the most tragic examples of book burning in history and one that people rarely ever talk about. 
People couldn’t even worship their own gods or pass their knowledge of them to their children. That’s why Maria Lionza has such a Spanish Catholic-sounding name, and that’s why we can’t even be sure if Yara was her name or not: The Conquistadors couldn’t steal our goddess from us, so they stole her name instead. Catholics really have a thing with trying to assimilate indigenous goddesses with the Virgin Mary, as they tried to do the same with the Pachamama.
On witchy terms, I’d define Maria Lionza as both a deity and a land spirit: Most internet pages explaining her mention the Sorte mountain as her holy place, but it is more along the lines that she is the mountain. 
You’d think that, with Venezuela and other Latinoamerican countries no longer being colonies, we’d be able to worship our own deities including her, right?
As far as a lot of Catholics seem to think and act, apparently we are not.
The Catholics here like to go out of their way to shame us, to call us “cultists”, to ostracize us, with a general call to “refrain from those pagan beliefs” because they go against the Catholic principles. Yes, the goddess with the Catholic-sounding name, a name she happens to share with a Catholic deity, apparently goes “against Catholic principles”. You really can’t make this shit up. (Linked article is in Spanish)
This is just an act of colonization out of many, of not wanting to stop until the culture they want to destroy is gone. Don’t believe for a second that this is really their God’s will or anything like that, they are just trying to finish what years of enslavement and murder couldn’t. They might not be actively killing us anymore, but they still want us dead.
So no, colonization is not some thing that has long passed and now only exist on history textbooks: It is still happening to this day. It is by treating it as old history that they can keep doing it, and it is by pushing the narrative that our indigenous cultures are “dead cultures” that they try to erase our heritage.
Because we are not dead. We are still here, we are alive, we have survived and we’ll keep on surviving, and our gods and goddesses are not yours to take.
¡Chao! 🐈
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