#and it has haunted me all these years | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dragon-chica · 1 year

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absolutely soul crushing to not find a specific 1999 computer learning game on any downloading sites

#yes i would spend my one full day off playing a second grade reading game #if I could get my mitts on that one #I NEVER got to finish it because our computer busted #and it has haunted me all these years #jump start machu picchu where are youuu

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topnotchquark · 7 months

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Nico saying that Lewis gives his daughters boxes of presents every Christmas just got caught in my mind.

Imagine you were a mixed race boy born in Hertfordshire, different from everyone else around you. Bullied in school, being raised by your father to compete in a sport where money is very much of essence and you and your family do not have a lot of it. And then you meet this other boy who comes from the kind of life you dream to live one day. You're friends and fierce competitors. You find solace in each other. You visit Monaco for the first time with your friend, dreaming up the life you will have when you make it, when you beat out of the mould that the world thought it could capture you in.

And then you two grow through the ranks and you're at the pinnacle of your sport and you have what it takes to win and the world recognises that you can win. And you win. You win with your friend and fiercest competitor by your side fighting with you for those wins, and this fighting ruins something something that was valuable to both of you when you were still innocent and unsullied by life.

But despite everything that went into the doing and undoing of this relationship, you still realise that this person you once called a friend has a life and family beyond your bitter dynamic. He has children, and children need love and affection and good memories. And you're a better man now so you understand that. So you make sure the kids get gifts on Christmas. And you make sure of it every year. Afterall, if you met someone you loved deeply when you were both kids, wouldn't you feel a pang of nostalgia when they had kids. Wouldn't you try to extend the warmth that you couldn't find for your friend to his children. Afterall, whatever happens during childhood basically remains with you forever.

#and nico's perspective of the same is just #being bullied as a child and being profoundly lonely till you find this friend who is in many ways the yardstick for performance #and even when you go through all this rancidity and the love has almost evaporated down to bare bones politeness #you know there is something that remains deep down #and so he gets your kids Christmas gifts each year #both their childhoods were sites of pain and both of them found something with each other #and lewis honours that by being a positive presence in nico's childrens' lives #albeit from a distance #and of course we're no strangers to how much Nico loves his kids #you can bet if Lewis had kids Nico would do that same #sorry this caught in my heart a little #I knew he had been giving presents for a while and I always thought of that as very beautiful but seeing it on the tl made me remember #man #love haunts you in such peculiar ways forever #brocedes #lewis hamiton #nico rosberg #f1 #formula 1

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eggoatt · 2 months

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collage poem about Loop

#skitters up and drops isat fanart on my unsuspecting followers once again #this game has been haunting me all YEAR and ive been too busy to make good fanart. but we have arrived now its happening #the lines here are cut from my partner @ capegloam's poetry book 'youre saltwater / im chlorine'#rearranged and taken wildly out of context of course #this has a digital background + touchups but the drawing and poem are traditional inks. u just cant tell anymore lol #i have many strong emotions and feelings and thots about loop. my beloved freak #isat #isat loop #in stars and time #isat spoilers #<- hella vague but being safe ig #art #dogyolk

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ropes3amthoughts · 15 days

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I know people are just joking when they say stuff like “Mithrun is an old grandpa he doesn’t know he can’t say those words anymore he doesn’t know they don’t have any book tokens anymore” because of these extras below:

and whatever but like it honestly drives me kind of crazy. Like can we look at this for a second.

He was the lord of the dungeon for five years. Then he was being rehabilitated for TWENTY YEARS. That’s not super long for elves, that’s like four years for us, but that’s still a long time. And then he was the captain for another fourteen years, but he didn’t have any desire other than getting revenge on the demon.

Mithrun hasn’t really been properly socialized for a total of FORTY YEARS, which is like eight years for elves. He was totally shut off from the world, then he was rehabilitated, and then he was with the Canaries on a onetrack mindset to go after the demon. Mithrun was doing bad, he was recovering, and then he was better enough to be the captain of the Canaries again, but he was still not “better.” In all that time, the world didn’t wait for him when he was at his low point. It didn’t wait for him when he was spending all that time recovering. And by the time it’s near the end of the story where these comics take place he’s just been so far detached from the world. Like he’s most likely never tried to go buy a book token after becoming a dungeon lord. He’s most likely never talked to people and learned the new slang of the time, he’s never been caught up which words are good versus outdated. Mithrun is technically better enough to be captain, he’s better enough to have reintegrated into society, but he’s not quite adjusted yet. He’s been out for so many years suffering under the hands of the demon and scraping his way through recovery and trying to work to get to the demon that by the time he’s stopped and done stuff like gift exchanges or whatever many aspects of the world are vastly different from what he remembers. I think that’s a lot like a lot of people in real life too who have similar experiences. People in mental health centers or hospitals who spends even just months recovering can miss out on so much.

Does this make any sense? It’s kind of late so I don’t really know what I’m saying and I’m probably repeating myself but like Mithrun was at a low point and then he was recovering for so long!!!! And then when he’s reintegrated back into the world it’s changed without him!!!! He’s not some racist old man!!! The world just kept on turning when he was struggling and how is he even supposed to deal with that? Like he doesn’t have much desire but everybody is so upset with him for not knowing things like outdated terms or using cash because he didn’t know there were no more book tokens and he just can’t have known that because he literally wasn’t in a state to keep up with all of the stuff like that and now everything is different and maybe he doesn’t care because he has no desire to but like aghhhhhhhhhhhh sob sob sniffle oughhhhh 😭😭😭😭 Mithrun 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 imagine I’m shaking him back and forth that’s how I feel right now oughhhhh

#dungeon meshi spoilers #delicious in dungeon #dungeon meshi #mithrun #mithrun dunmeshi #mithrun of the house of kerensil #long post #I go on like a million personal tangents in the tags #I myself have been at a low point in my life but was fortunate enough not to miss out on things when recovering #but I have heard many stories of people who have been out for years and years and then the world has changed so much!#so much stuff changes so fast and like there was the one guy who like didn’t know about cellphones bc he was out so long #I’ve had some days where I struggled to get out of bed or do anything at all and I feel like I miss a lot those days #It can be terrifying to be left behind like that even for just a day it must be haunting for it to be years and years #I guess Mithrun isn’t terrified but like that’s got to at least be incredibly jarring #there was this one time I was banned from my phone for a month bc I was depressed and not doing my homework and by the time I got my phone #back like three of my friends had transitioned lol it was crazy like so much can happen so fast #idk man it just makes me crazy that people like laugh and write this off as him being old and not like a consequence of his long recovery #and like just him struggling with living overall after everything #idk if this makes any sense lol maybe I’m onto nothing idk it’s late but I’m sharing thoughts anyways #rope/spider post

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chirpsythismorning · 4 months

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I’m sorry but nothing will ever beat Finn’s drive playlist that he made during s3 filming, with songs like Me and Michael, The Basement, Gay Thoughts and No Woman lmaoooo

#byler #stranger things #in all seriousness #finn has already confirmed he listens to music on the way to set to get in the zone for his character #millie and noah have said when asked that he’s the cast-member most likely to be listening to music on set #do I think every song on there is byler-coded? no #do I think he made it specifically for byler fans to witness and read into? no #but i do think there is a middle ground here #since byler is happening... yeah there are gonna be songs that get him in the zone for byler scenes #and yet there are also probably gonna be songs that he likes rn and wants to use to feel inspo for filming in general #aka plenty of songs just there for the way they sound/the vibes that get him more comfortable getting into character #but then again he also could have made the playlist private to avoid people reading into it #he’s known for years people have seen his playlists and hasn’t made those private either #so I don’t think he cares if ppl read into it #(at least for now...)#but fr that drive playlist still haunts me to this day #i remember when he mentioned listening to music to get in the zone for filming #he specifically mentioned that he listened to it when driving to set and ppl went crazy connecting it to his drive playlist lol #so i mean who knows #maybe he makes the names confusing/random but also sometimes with a hint of truth bc he knows people are gonna deny it or read into it #and he's playing with that possiblity #but i wouldn't die on that hill by any means.#but the drive playlist is why idrc if people read into the STurn one bc i mean....#yeah those songs that sound eerily like mike's emotions in regards to will probably are that way for a reason

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shorthaltsjester · 4 months

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ON RUNNING; Imogen Temult

Critical Role Campaign 3, Episode 3 “The Trail and the Toll” // Critical Role Campaign 3, Episode 12 “Make It Fashion” // Illustrated Horse-Breaking by Matthew Horace (1905) // Critical Role Campaign 3, Episode 17 “Heart-to-Heartmoor” // Critical Role Campaign 3, Episode 19 “Omens Above” // Broken Horses by Brandi Carlile // Critical Role Campaign 3, Episode 34 “What Dreams May Come” // Legends Never Die by Orville Peck and Shania Twain // Queen of Peace by Florence + The Machine // Critical Role Campaign 3, Episode 40 “Compulsion” // Wild Horses by The Rolling Stones // Critical Role Campaign 3, Episode 48 “An Exit Most Fraught” // Critical Role Campaign 3, Episode 78 “Fractures” // On Horse-Breaking by Robert Moreton (1877) // Critical Role Campaign 3, Episode 83 “Ruidus” // Critical Role Campaign 3, Episode 89 “Divisive Portents”

#imogen temult #critical role #laura bailey #critical role campaign 3 #liliana temult #laudna #matthew mercer #cr3 #web weave #web weaving #my posts #on running #listen man broken horses is such an imogen liliana song its been driving me nuts #and laura's inclusion of that wild horses cover on imogens original playlist way back when has been haunting me for years #so take this expulsion of all that from my brain please and thank you

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radiantarray · 8 months

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this is such a reach but ive spent over an hour frantically searching so... if you own a zosan doujin called Morning by the artist Makina in the dawn dj circle... please rb this and lmk...

the cover looks like this

#one piece #zosan #zoro x sanji #it's technically a compilation of 4 of her works #but the thing is this collection also has her twitter doodles and other drawings that i really want to see #i think she went pro n is making original bl which is great!! bc her art rules but im guessing thats why she wiped the fan stuff off her tw #i just fell down a mad rabbit hole looking for it and it has been a Journey. the scanlation grp does not list it anywhere on their lj/blog #the og artist made a new twt and the only place i can find any trace of it is a website that sells doujin #obv its out of stock cos it was published 4 years ago... but the promo photos they Haunt Me #please. if anyone can help at all........

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fastianini · 5 months

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Valentino Rossi & Marc Márquez

all i need—radiohead

#ignore me…this is a meltdown…a breakdown really…no iam fine why u asking? haha. ha. ha—#either way.. brainrot time scuse me!#next act in the wings=young marc being the next big ‚act‘ in motogp coming forth on the stage to ‚steal‘ vales show!!#a moth wanting to share light=moths are drawn to light thinking it‘ll save them but normally it’ll kill them…vale‘s the big shiny star..#the light #everyone‘s drawn to him but the light is draining and weakening you with its brightness #in the middle of your picture=how woven they‘re into each other‘s careers..pictures..always lingering..a little hidden but never far off..#and and and #I AM ALL THE DAYS YOU CHOOSE TO IGNORE #!!!!!#marc is all the days vale chooses to ignore and forget!!#rattling rattling RATTLING like a wild animal in a cage!#*scratches head*#sooo yeah. uh. rosquez in the year 24? hell yeah babe #this is because of jerez 24!!🥲#also this song is sooo beautiful. haunting. longing. unrequited love. ughhh #rosquez #marc marquez #valentino rossi #motogp #s.edits #sorry tumblr sees all my meltdowns because i need to put it somewhere. i need to get it out. you just are forced to endure it :)))

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skitskatdacat63 · 8 months

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Forced against my will to post these(thanks @flopnandoalonso and @schumigrace ...) , but please enjoy gifs of: Fernando at the spa (PLEASE DON'T BLOCK ME)

#posting this and closing tumblr for the rest of the night DJKFSLGR #also gifing this doesnt even feel nearly as bad as the actual clip itself #so i linked it. go watch it.#THERES JUST SO MUCH YKNOW #cause like not only is all this feet stuff going on in the background. theyre also talking abt him peeing in the car #these gifs are just ... foot stuff hm #I DONT WANT IT ON MY BLOG EITHER BUT I GOTTA GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT #i hope youre happy. i stopped drawing for tonight to make these instead UGHHHH #yes i can be peer pressured #but also i think its very funny #this clip has haunted me for more than half a year and look here now you have it #i still think i like the other massage scene better. its a lot more subtle #f1 #formula 1 #fernando alonso #tw feet #fernando(show)#fernando s1e4 #we do a little bit of f1 #normal posts that catie normally makes in a normal fashion

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introspectivememories · 7 months

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NICO: WE SHARED THE LIFT THIS MORNING! I WAS GOING TO THE POOL TRAMPOLINE WITH MY TWO DAUGHTERS AND HE WAS GOING TO THE RACETRACK. PINKHAM: VERY DIFFERENT LIVES YOU'RE CURRENTLY LEADING.

#that line from nico is like /the/ modern brocedes thesis to me #like this is their happy ending!!! it is not the one they dreamed of all those years ago in greece but is a happy ending.#it's not multiple shared championships or racing against each other for years or anything their 13 year-old-selves would've dreamed up but #it is them achieving their dreams. lewis has 7 wdcs and is aiming for an 8th. nico has a loving wife and 2 daughters he'd die for. they are #both doing the things they love. would it have been nice if those dreams included each other? yeah. would it have been nice that when ppl #mention their names it would be to talk about what great friends they are instead of how they tore each other apart? absolutely! but they #were doomed from the start. so maybe it doesn't matter that they didn't get their traditional 'happy ending'. at least they had a happy #start and a semi-happy middle. at least they have the lift to see each other. at least nico's daughters get to keep lewis in their lives in #a way nico will never get to again. they will never share a bowl of frosties again but at least their roots are so thoroughly tangled #together that they can never look back without haunting each other. at least they still have that.#anyway for all the non-americans who reblog or like this. the poem is 'the road not taken' by robert frost. very famous in america #every middle/high schooler has to analyze/read this poem at some point. i don't know how popular he is outside of america so i thought id #leave a note ig.#anyway. i am going crazy and i need to lie down. that 2nd line was sooo hard to find a photo for. wth does 'hence' even mean???#brocedes edit #brocedes #f1 web weaving #f1 #nico rosberg #lewis hamilton #f1 edit #nr6 #lh44 #web weaving

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harrowharkwife · 9 months

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do you guys ever think about the fact that one of camilla hect's titles back on the sixth was. the warden's hand.

#happy new year ove been thinking about handamedes all morning. his hand bones era was almost entirely offscreen #but FUCK if it does not haunt me. ahhhh #the locked tomb #palamedes sextus #camilla hect #nona the ninth #harrow the ninth #sighs and resets the 'days since lizzie has had Emotions about the sixth' counter back to 0

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moregraceful · 2 months

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It feels like getting pulled underwater—the sharp sideways tug, the slight drag of resistance, then falling, falling, till the waves close over his head. But Logan can breathe when he rights himself again, even if the light has a watery filter to it and the voices have a distant echo. // Sometimes Logan gets a glimpse of guys who've been long gone from the teal, clustered at the far end of the bench or sitting in the box across the ice. He heard Jason's voice in the hallway loud and clear, that infectious laugh. And he could have sworn he saw Raffi fucking Torres getting out of a car in the players' lot. Something tells him not to look up the rosters.

Commissioned @impmakesart to make a painting based on the Sharks' Cali Fin hype reel + the flip side by frausorge. Imp was amazing to work with and I could not be more emotional about this piece and so, so pleased with how it turned out!! 🙇🏻‍♂️🙇🏻‍♂️ Commission him here. Thank you Imp!

#as i am sure has been very obvious i have been incredibly unwell this year for a variety of reasons #and i read that fic right after my uncle died suddenly and unexpectedly so i was thinking a lot about hospice while i was reading it #and i was going to about 8 million sharkuda games per week to just not be at home bc everything has fallen apart there #(also for a variety of reasons. but there is a lot of intense grief over my stepsister's death involved)#so today having signed a lease on an apartment on the entire other side of the country to be closer to career stuff and #get a fresh start and a hopefully happier and more stable life (even if a huge move and a career change makes me nervous)#while also the first thing said to me is that another family member had passed this morning (expectedly) and a relative #who became very sick recently (unexpectedly) and who due to advanced age does not have a great prognosis #it became a uniquely precious gift to have this completed and sent to me by imp this afternoon.#the fic + the ensuing games of seeing that reel hit a very tender part of me that has dealt with death and instability my entire life #and it is amazing to see an image of logan's similar loss and instability so perfectly realized!!#his troubled face!! the way it feels both underwater and in another world!! the lights all around that could be anything!!#looking up at the indistinct faces of his teammates who could be so so many people at this point but who he misses nonetheless!!#also PLEASE zoom in on the mist - the texturing and color gradients are SO cool. and the reflection on his helmet is so sick #the color scheme in this is freaking amazing and i just love it all so much man!!!#anyway i don't have a concluding thought. i was going to make this into a puzzle (i'm back on my bullshit)#but i will probably get it printed and framed too #if any of u come visit me know. know that your chances of seeing haunted logan couture are non-zero #and he could be ANYWHERE #art #san jose sharks #logan couture

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imissthembutitwasntadisaster · 9 months

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2023

One Art - Elizabeth Bishop // October - Louise Gluck // On Reading An Anthology of Postwar German Poetry - Lisel Mueller // Fairy-tale Logic - A. E. Stallings // Introduction to Space Opera - Brian Aldiss // Yellow Glove - Naomi Shihab Nye // Hammond B3 Organ Cistern - Gabrielle Calvocoressi

#it has been. a year for sure.#web weaving #poetry #if you're wondering why the space opera quote is in there. the girls who get it get it.#ALSO it has haunted me since april #all must come right at the end it is built into the narrative!!! the narrative is not a tragedy!!!!

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milkstoner · 1 year

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the fact malleus and lilia weren’t even there to witness silver’s heroic moment at the fairy gala is actually sickening… what were they so busy doing that they wouldn’t even bother to see their adoptive human put on a show AND a pacifist speech (HE EVEN ALLUDED TO LILIA) that undoubtedly improved fae-human relations. they would be so proud…