#and it has nothing at all to do with my partner it's 100% my brain

[pinkcarabiner]

<3

[sualne]

that guy

[queertransetc]

- ED trigger warning -

Being skinny ruined my life. If you’re thin and think to yourself, “why don’t fat people just lose weight?” Please read this

I was the “ideal fat” in the sense that I did everything skinny people wanted me to do. I tried every diet in the book. I exercised regularly. I worked with doctors and dietitians to figure out the best way to lose weight. But nothing worked. I did everything “right” to lose weight, and my weight stayed the same

But the thin people in my life kept telling me that I wouldn’t be happy, attractive, healthy, etc. until I lost weight. So, heartbroken, I came to the conclusion that anorexia was the only option left. It felt safer than bariatric surgery, and was obviously much more affordable

I became the perfect anorexic. 700 cal a day or less, except once a week I allowed myself 1400 cal. For reference, my body required at least 2800 to maintain weight, and at least 1800 to keep my organs and stuff fully functioning. Still, 700 a day, I persisted because everyone in my life told me weight loss was all that mattered. If dieting didn’t work, anorexia had to

And it did. My weight dropped all the way down to 110 pounds. I was skinny - underweight, even - in all sense of the word. The people in my life saw it as a miracle. The ultimate success story. My mother, my “friends,” my doctors, they all congratulated me on my accomplishment

When I confessed my eating disorder to my doctor, he told me, “that’s not the best way to go about it, but I’m glad you lost the weight.” My mother took pictures of me and sent them to relatives to brag

Okay, great. I was skinny. I did what I set out to do. But there were severe consequences

The most obvious was my joint pain doubled, maybe even tripled, to the point that I couldn’t leave the house without a wheelchair

I also developed several health complications, including fatty liver disease and extremely painful GERD. I had to see a handful of specialists and get an endoscopy because of severe stomach pain

My partner, who was the only person who saw my weight loss for what it was (a horrible thing that only happened because of an eating disorder), convinced me to enter a recovery program

For nearly a year, I relearned how to feed myself. I ate everything I was told to eat, nothing more and nothing less. My diet was 100% in the hands of somebody else

And I gained back every pound I has lost. All of the work to become thin went right out the window. It was proven to me that thinness and health were incompatible with my body. If I wanted to be thin, I had to forgo my physical and mental well-being. And vise-versa

Prior to the anorexia, I never once struggled with binge eating. I was naturally an intuitive eater, and I did a good job of having a well rounded diet. After the anorexia, after recovery, I developed a binge eating disorder. I had spent so long starving myself, that my brain and body got stuck in survival mode, desperate to consume any and all calories out of fear that I might starve again. To this day I struggle with binge eating

I did everything thin people wanted of me. I dieted. I exercised. And when all else failed, I starved myself. Now I have liver disease, stomach issues, and BED. Not to mention the loads of mental issues that accumulated as a result of my weight loss journey. During the throes of my anorexia, I had to be hospitalized for suicidal ideation

When you tell fat people to “just lose weight” you are suggesting they give themselves illnesses for which treatments are not always effective. You are asking fat people to destroy their stomachs and livers. When a fat person loses so much weight that they become skinny, they are likely giving up so much of their health in efforts to be treated like a human being

If you’re thin, do your part. Treat fat people like people before we tear our bodies apart

[nvuy]

do u think boothill would be obsessed w readers waist . literally holding it pinching it using it to move them around etc he makes me a little crazy

yup.

always has an arm around your waist. and he always has to call you my man/my lady, otherwise it’s ‘honey’ and i’m not elaborating. he thinks he’s so smooth (dont tell him you can hear the fans whirring below his body). you’re, what, 2 years into this relationship and he’s still blushing at the ears and stuttering when you smile at him.

he can be smooth, sometimes. it’s all in the southern drawl, and also just him being quite touchy in general. has also like, 100% said, “well, hello, nurse” once or twice with a whistle when you walked in the room.

he’s not the biggest hand holder—he doesn’t like his hands at all—so he’d rather just squash you in tight next to him as much as he can.

he’s basically your guard dog. he’s always attached to you somehow, will bark and bite at anything that he doesn’t like coming close to you, and he feels like the king of the world knowing that he, some stupid hunk of scrap metal and junk, bagged you. nobody knows how he did it. he doesn’t even know. sometimes he thinks he’s dreaming.

he’s feel like an absolute gentleman as well, so there’s that too. he’s going to tickle you at any given opportunity, as well as give you a little squeeze. he’s got that sort of cuteness aggression inside him i think. if your back is turned, he’ll pinch your sides and nip at your neck like a puppy. he’s like that.

speaking of your back, somebody’s gotta call the mechanic if you’re wearing a top with a low or exposed back, or if you just take the damn shirt off entirely. he’s like a victorian man seeing ankles for the first time if he sees even an inch of your spine. why are you seducing him like this. please stop staring at him with heart eyes when he’s stumbling over his words.

he can’t join you on beach days unfortunately—sand and water not great for the robo-body—but he will be reluctant to let you leave, considering you’ve got basically nothing on and he wants you all to himself.

he also loves your legs. please swing them on his lap and use his as a foot stool. he won’t even complain. don’t get him wrong, he loves you in formal wear; suit, dress, whatever you want, but by the gods when you wear shorts or a skirt his brain melts.

appreciates nice shoes as well. fancy formal wear sort of stuff. he’s a total sucker for it.

if you wear heels, he loves those too (makes you look taller so rawr) (he will do that cat purr rolling tongue noise i have no clue what it’s called) (also he knows any sort of fancy shoes hurt your feet so YAY he gets to carry you home!!!!!! he wins!!!!!!!!!) (he’ll hold your shoes in one hand and carry you like you’re made of glass. doesn’t matter if you’re embarrassed. to be fair, he thinks you deserve to be carried everywhere. you’re way too ethereal to be touching the floor in any sort of way).

i just like the idea that he’s the biggest most loserish simp in the world. loves his partner more than anything in the world. whipped to all hell. will put a bullet in his head if it would make you smile.

[valent1neg0d]

REPETITION IS HOW YOU CREATE YOUR BELIEF SYSTEMS.

when i first started my affirmations, i used to think of playing it small when circumstances aren't exactly how i wrote them to be. i would be replacing writing "i am a millionaire", "sp is obsessed with me", "i have my desired weight" to some watered down affirmation that didn't resonate with me and didn't make me feel like i was living in the end.

this isn't confidence. i wasn't fully claiming my desires. and in being discreet and small, you tell your subconscious: this is what we have and this is where we settle. how terrible is that? to settle on something you don't want? and i'm gonna touch your hands when i say this again, HOW TERRIBLE IS THAT?

through repetition you get rid of this irking feeling of "maybe this is all i can do", "maybe i should only manifest 20 dollars then later on manifest a 100", "maybe this is too much to ask for", maybe this, maybe that. BABY? BE FOR REAL.

you're too fucking powerful to be doubting, questioning, settling, and wavering. so come here and repeat your affirmations. rebuild, reconstruct, recreate all the wires in your brain.

i don't care if it doesn't feel real. do you? do you want that to matter? do you really want to be sitting here telling yourself "oh, but..." BE REEEAL!

repeat it thrice and your brain starts thinking "oh wait... are we actually..."

repeat it 10 times and you're in a consciousness of "damn... i guess we are!"

repeat it a hundred times and nothing else can penetrate your thoughts about it.

repeat it a thousand times and that's your identity.

and know that repetition is not just declaring your affirmations. repetition is also introducing yourself as a millionaire, as your sp's partner, as an idol, as a celebrity, as the baddest bitch in the game, as the god of your reality, as the one who has everything they want. repetition is not telling a sob story or petty excuses and only narrating how it is to succeed. repetition is constantly being in the state of fulfillment.

EMBODY THAT SHIT.

xo.

[strawb3rrystar]

I got very sad with "Hazbin Hotel characters longing for you."

(┬┬﹏┬┬)

so you could do their reaction to I love you or us wanting to get back to them.

\(￣︶￣*\))

Hazbin Hotel characters reaction to 'I love you'.

Pairing: Charlie Morningstar, Vaggie, Angel Dust, Husk, Sir Pentious, Alastor, Lucifer Morningstar, Adam, Vox, Valentino, Velvette x GN! Reader

Warnings: None!

Word count: 482

✰Masterlist

Charlie's face immediately lights up when you say it for the first time. She'll give a little squeal as she embraces you, squeezing the afterlife out of you.

"I love you too, my little fire bug!"

Vaggie takes a second to process what you just said. But afterward, she'll get all flustered that you said that. If you ask her what's wrong, she'll just shake her head and respond with.

"Nothing.. it's just.. I love you too."

Angel Dust thinks you're joking at first, because he finds it to be unbelievable that someone could actually love him. But once he realizes you're telling the truth he'll question why someone like you loves someone like him.

"Me? Are you sure? Well, of course I love you too, it's just.. ah- nevermind."

Husk will freeze and probably drop the glass that he's cleaning. Something in his brain just short circuits when you say it. If you hug him, or touch him at all afterwards, he will purr, but will also 100% deny that he is.

"Purring? No, you're just hearing things.."

Sir Pentious will have an internal freak out, but will also get extremely giddy. Like he'll flap his hands while trying not to slither out of the room.

"Yes.. yes. Me too! I mean.. uh- I love.. you too..?"

Alastor will think you're talking to someone else and will probably ignore you. He simply can't wrap his head around the idea of someone having romantic feelings for him. If you say it a second time, thinking he didn't hear you, he'll respond with.

"No, my dear, I heard you perfectly well the first time. I must apologize for having no interest in this conversation."

Lucifer will be extremely flattered that you love him. Of course, he still loves Lilith very dearly. But, he's also just a lonely, single, dad who deserves to be loved as well.

"Of course I love you too! Never doubt that fact for a second."

Adam is always very flirty, so he isn't surprised that you love him. He will get really cocky about it though, so maybe knock some sense into him first.

"Ha! Of course you love me! I'm fucking Adam!"

Vox will probably actually short circuit or just get really flustered. Since he's never received a proper confession before, he doesn't know how to respond.

"Mhm. Yep!" *gives you a thumbs up and an awkward smile*

Valentino on the other hand, is very used to receiving love confessions. In fact, they are an ego boost for him. He'll probably kiss the back of your hand and reply with.

"I love you too, darling~"

Velvette will give you a smile and a kiss on the cheek, then will tell you that she reciprocates the feeling. She'll probably tweet about it afterwards, though.

"@Velvvette: my lovely partner just told me they love me today!! Love u 2 <3"

Star's notes -> My last HH headcanons got 1000 notes in three days. Yall are insane, thank you so much <33

(Thank you, sweet anon, for requesting!) (Requests are open!)

Taglist -> @corruptcoder @astrolovedy @alexandria-fandom @perfectlycraftychaos @stressedbleach @idontreallyexistyet | Join the taglist

[causenessus]

Biggest Sweethearts. | Haikyuu

inc. atsumu, oikawa + bokuto as an extra <3

written in 2nd pov

song recc: brooklynn baby by lana del ray

word count: 1244 words

summary: defending atsumu and oikawa against playboy allegations or in other words, the kind of partner each boy needs <3

ik i already lowkey went off and defended atsumu in that one post while i went crazy in windowless rooms for 12 hours that one day but i wanted to write the full thing <3 i have not posted written content in so long!! happy 900 followers <3 this has all been written in one night while my brain is giving out so i apologize

miya atsumu

atusmu needs someone who knows what he’s doing

he definitely wants a part in leading a relationship but he wants someone who he can fall back on and isn't expecting him to be like a full-time hotshot

he needs someone who loves him unconditionally, seeing past all the fronts he puts up and loves him past the douche he can sometimes act as/be

of course it’s fine if you tease him like his friends, he’d expecting nothing less, but falling for you means you’re someone he feels safe with

someone he feels comfortable enough to be soft around, someone he can come to after a long day and let his shoulders drop as he falls on top of you while you’re laying on the couch

he doesn’t feel like he has to maintain a facade of a man whose strong and acts like nothing ever phases him around you

like yes, he’s strong and makes a show of it for you all the time, but everyone needs a rest day <3

when you guys are at home together he’s actually pretty quiet

it’s all loving gestures and soft voices

hands wrapping around your waist while you’re in the kitchen and a murmured “i missed you” while he peppers kisses down your neck

he can be so loud around his friends and it’s part of an autopilot switch that just flips on being around them, and being loud is nothing bad

but if he needs your help with something while you’re both home, he’s never yelling for you

he’ll peek his head in, finding you laying on your shared bed

“babe?”

when you look up, he’s picking at the doorframe, quietly waiting a response

“if you’re not busy can you help me with something? it’s okay if you don’t want to”

you’re already getting up from the bed, softly pulling his hand off the doorway to hold it between both of yours, “of course i’ll help you, ‘tsumu, what do you need?”

biggest baby ever actually

he could never be with someone short term or do casual relationships and he really hates hookups

everything already feels so superficial to him besides volleyball, and he knows he’s eye candy but he wants to be more than that

he wants to be more than the shallow flirt his fans seem to obsess over

(of course he’s a big flirt, but his comments are reserved for you and you only <3)

falling for you means he’s found that in you; he’s found someone who sees him for who he really is and still loves him

oikawa tooru

tooru knows what commitment is

he knows that fruition will only come from time

if he wants something meaningful, he has to put effort into it. he isn't going to get that from messing around with a girl or nothing else

of course he accepted the gifts from his fan club and ate up their attention, but once he met you, it no longer meant anything to him

he wanted you to be wholly is, and him to be wholly yours

he would never do anything to make you think that he wants anyone else but you

he’s committed 100% to you which also means you also receive 100% of his flirting because he enjoys the reactions it gets out of you

and even when he teases you, his words are light and harmless; you can hear how much he loves you behind it all

honestly probably the best communicator ever because he wants to make sure you know how much he loves you

will text you about how he’s been asked to do a photoshoot with a model and then will write you an essay on how he’s not doing it because he’s interested in anyone else other than you and in fact, he’ll only be thinking of you during the shoot

his fan club made it a little hard for him to really accept or even know who he was, he wasn’t sure anyone would value him for anything other than his volleyball skills and looks

but you’ve stayed with him, seeming to find the positives in everything he’s done. even through the games he’s lost, and when he’s acting pessimistic and is isolating himself, you’ve stayed with him

you’ve talked him through the losses. when he’s curled up and turned away from you, mind drowning in thoughts of failure, your voice seems to break through everything

you take small steps towards him, telling him that you’re coming closer, and that if he wants you to leave at any moment then to tell you

but he never tells you to leave

he’ll lean into your touch, and he feels how much it quiets his head

as soon as he’s better he’s always apologetic for how he acted and he tells you how thankful he is for you while rubbing small circles on your skin

you always hush him with a kiss

“tooru, i’m not gonna get mad at you or leave you just because you lost a game and then understandably get upset. you’re always working so hard”

you silence his biggest fear

he needs someone who really sees him

you’ve never once failed to notice an accomplishment or how hard he’s working at something and that’s what he needs, rather than someone whose only with him for what he can give them or for something physical like his appearance/manners <3

extra!! bokuto koutarou

NOT a playboy but i just wanted to sort of hc the kind of person he needs in his life

amongst everyone who always seems to be “growing up” in the world, he needs someone who will still see the beauty and the color in the world

not here for anything that those people who are always posting about “look how successful i am at the age of 18” “here’s how to make an extra 10k a year” “you should be doing this, you shouldn’t be doing this…”

just wants to be happy with u <3

he needs someone who will still get excited with him over getting ice cream, looking at christmas lights, watching new episodes, and more <3

he knows money or whatever concerns of life people have will be solved and follow after happiness so he’s also definitely your biggest cheerleader

always advocatess for you to find things to do that you enjoy. hushes any concerns you have about how much it'll pay

"i've got it, baby. you do whatever you want. whatever makes you happy. and if volleyball somehow doesn't make enough i'll find a way :) maybe akaashi will let me help him with his editing"

will check in and make sure you’re always doing good

will always always always come over immediately to be with you if you’re not

he'll brings over food or distractions to give you company, never pressuring you to feel better immediately

it’s okay to stay and work through any feelings you’re having <3 there’s no rush, but he does want you to be feeling good so he’ll stay with you until you’re doing better and even after <3

life isn’t simple, he knows that, but there’s also no reason to overcomplicate it in his mind so he’ll never fail to get excited over new movies and getting to go out with you <3

paying bills and tax days are fun

(also he's definitely the kind to be like "we should just get married rn so we get those discounts")

you’re both fighting for your lives, the table is a mess, and while some couple next door is argued over taxes, you both have your heads in your hands

then you’re both looking up at each other

“i didn’t even know we got charged for having a phone” he whispers, absolutely horrified

“me neither,” you reply, just as confused

“do you wanna go watch wall e?”

“yes” you’re both already sliding out of your chairs, leaving the bills for another day

[dark-and-kawaii]

You've done a remarkable job getting me hopelessly hooked on tieflings. It did get me wondering tho, how would the bachleors react to their partner begging for the knot? Properly too, face down, ass up, hands holding their cheeks spread.

Thank you for writing, I do appreciate reading your work. ♡

˚₊‧꒰ა♡໒꒱‧ Knotted ‧꒰ა♡໒꒱‧₊˚

₊˚⊹♡ YES!!! 100/10!!! I’m eating this up om nom nom!!! Something about the tieflings and having knots just make me drool!!! The way they’d fill you up so nicely- you’d never want another cock again, nor would you ever be the same~ ♡

₊˚⊹♡ Pairings: Zevlor x F!Tav/Reader - Rolan x F!Tav/Reader

₊˚⊹♡ Content: NSFW - Stretched So Good - Pussy Never Going To Be The Same - Tiefling Cock Has Your Tongue Dangling Out - Tip Of Their Cocks Kissing Your Cervix - Begging - Tummy Bulge - Spread Wide

Notes: I didn’t add Dammon because these got longish~ Enjoy my dear xoxo

‧₊˚✧[ Zevlor ]✧˚₊‧

The way your face was pressed into his bed roll, your ass thrown up in the air as your fingers spread your pussy lips... The look in your eyes, the way your tongue was out, panting, saliva dribbling down your chin. And that beautiful hole of yours, slick with your juices, glistening and twitching... No doubt you were playing with yourself in preparation for his return to the cave... That was pretty risky of you. If Tilly had decided to accompany him...

“Z-Zevlor~!” You gasp out his name in a breathy moan, “I want it- I- I want to take your knot please~”

A shudder runs down his spine as he listens to you. It takes all of his willpower to not just slam his hips into you, his aching cock twitching with every word that falls from your lips. He swallows thickly, his fingers pulling at the armor around his neck.

His face felt hot and his mind hazy.

He had to focus on something other than your scent, the way you called his name… “Y-you shouldn’t be here. What if someone came looking for me and found you in this compromising position-“

“I don’t carrrreeee~” your mouth hangs open, saliva dripping onto his sheets, “I want them to know~ know I belong to a foulblood, the most handsome oneeee~” you whined, wiggling your ass, spreading your legs a bit wider.

You were going to give this old man a heart attack. He had to open his mouth and take a few gulps of air to get more oxygen to his brain.

“A-are you sure? I fear it may-“

“I-I can take it~!” You cut him off, looking over your shoulder at him, “Y-you've stretched me out so much with your cock already... A-and I've seen it~” You give a small moan as you slip a finger into your pussy, “Y-your knot is so big... I-I wanna feel it stretching my pussy open~ break me~”

He gives a small groan, his hand moving down to free his throbbing cock, stroking the length as he watches you finger yourself. He wants nothing more than to slam himself into your little cunt, feel it wrapped tightly around him, but... He also wants to make sure that you'll be ok. Taking his thumb he smears the bead of pre-cum dripping from his tip onto the head, slicking it up before pressing his thumb into your needy cunt. He can't help but shudder when he feels how wet you are, his tail swishing in response as he slips his thumb deeper, watching as you start to suck him in.

You bite your lip as you look over your shoulder at the handsome tiefling, pushing yourself against him and his hand, wriggling your hips desperate for something bigger- much bigger. “A-ah~! Z-Zevlor, p-please~! I-I need more~ I-It's not enough~!”

He had never seen someone- never been with someone as desperate as you for him. He hated himself for saying you looked like such a whore in his head, but it was true. You were just a needy, whimpering mess on his bed roll.

Zevlor's thoughts were cut off when he felt you reach back and grab his throbbing cock.

“Zevy~ Fuck me please~! Stretch me open…“ You looked over your shoulder at him, licking your lips hungrily, “Commander~”

Hearing his title, feeling your hand stroking his cock, the sudden change in the way you addressed him… Despite his fear of harming your tight snatch, he’d give you what you desired, and he’d make sure to take such good care of you~

…

Your legs were quivering, knees weak, as you bit into his thin sheets, the only thing you had to muffle your screams. It had taken Zevlor a moment to get his knot halfway inside, his cock pulsing with each breath you took.

“mmmph!!!! fhhhh~ !! AHHH~!!! MMMMMM!!!!!!!!!~!!!~!!!!!~~”

Your knuckles turned white as you gripped his bed roll, your pussy stretching wider and wider. Tears rolling down your cheeks as his knot started to press into your pussy further. It felt like you were being ripped open, his knot growing wider and wider.

“My light, I can stop- I- I can pull out. I don't want to hurt you... If this mmph- if it’s too much... We can try some other nigh-“

Your hand released his bed roll and grabbed his arm, holding it tightly.

“I s’need it, commander... Please…~” Your words came out a choked sob, a plea.

His breath catches in his throat as he watches you push back onto him, his eyes going wide, the pain evident on your face as you force him deeper and deeper inside of you.

Finally, it popped inside.

The mouth of your sex stretched grotesquely as it engulfed his big meaty knot, your lips sealed around the base of his cock… “Ahhhn~!!! H-hhaa~! Oh gods, oh gods- Z-Zev!!! I'ms stuffed m‘full- soooo fff-full~!! I-it's stretching my tummy-!!”

Zevlor delicately moved his hand down and around your waist, and sure enough there was a little bump on your belly where his cock was. His hands moved to your hips, gently rubbing the skin and preventing you from taking him deeper. His heart was pounding, worried that his knot was too much for you. His hand slid over to yours so he could lace his fingers between yours before kissing your shoulder softly, trying his best to be comforting, “Shh… You're alright, I've got you...”

One thing was for sure, he was going to miss you when you both finally went your separate ways…

‎‧₊˚✧[ Rolan ]✧˚₊‧

You lay there panting, a thin gleam of sweat on your entire body, babbling his name like some sort of prayer. Feeling the cold air on your exposed, wet pussy as you spread it open for him, your hands pulling your folds apart to show him all of your insides… How your womb was ready and waiting for his potent tielfing seed.

“R-Rolan- Please-,” you were ready, it was time you took his knot. The way it throbbed, the tip of his cock oozing a thick and gooey white liquid, the base of his length throbbing and engorging with blood, turning his pretty cock into a bulbous, veiny knot that was just begging to be sunk into your waiting sex.

But Rolan didn't move, “I-“ he felt so foolish. Here you were, ass in the air, your pussy spread and waiting for him like some sort of offering, and here he was, the very picture of hesitation and uncertainty. His own mind was screaming at him, yelling that this was everything that he had been waiting for- he’s imagined filling your greedy pussy with his knot from the moment he met you… But now that you were begging, now that it was right here he was too scared to take the plunge.

He was so afraid to lose you, of being alone… It’s the reason he’s been purposely holding back from locking himself with you, not giving you his knot no matter how much you begged him. Rolan never said it out loud ever but deep down he was afraid you’d look at him like a monster if he showed you the true extent of his nature.

And you, ever the observant one, noticed.

Your hand reached between your thighs to grab the base of his dick, feeling the bulge of his knot pulsate against your palm. Squeezing him gently as you cock your head at him and pout, “don’t be so greedy~” you mocked him. You were still breathing heavily, but a smile graced your features. Your other hand, covered in a sheen of your own wetness, reaches back and grabs his tail. Gently, but firmly.

Pulling his hips closer to yours, guiding him, “if you don’t fill me nicely with that delicious knot~” you bring his tail up to your lips and lick a long, slow line from the base to the tip, causing Rolan to shiver and moan. Your teeth nibble at the base of his tail, biting down enough to make him squirm but not enough to cause him any real pain, “I’ll have to use this as the replacement. I think that will do nicely, don't you agree?~"

Rolan groaned at the sensation, his mouth agape as his breath became more ragged, “mphf - hah-” he covered his mouth, trying to keep from getting too excited. The idea of you shoving his tail in your cunt and riding it so deep until he saw the outline of it snaking through you- “S-so desperately needy and gr-greedy- li-like a whore in heat-“ he breathed on your shoulder…

…

Your head jerked back, “GUEAAAU!!!!!~” your tongue hanging from your mouth as saliva fell from your lips, your eyes crossed, your vision blurred, and your ears ringing. For a moment you couldn’t hear, see, or feel anything other than the sudden, overwhelming sensation of being filled stretched, your uterus being smashed repeatedly by his tip now that it was finally fully buried inside.

Rolan bit his bottom lip so hard he nearly drew blood, the sharp points of his teeth digging into his flesh and leaving indents, his face a mess… He could feel your sloppy pussy lips wrap around his knot, the popping noises it made as he would forcefully pull it out and then back in as it caught on your lips over and over. The sounds coming from your mouth made it sound like your internal organs would come popping out of it…

“M-my wom-b- A-a-augh- H-ha-h-h-hh-hhhh-h-h-!!!!! Sho’deep Rolan baby~! You're sooooo deep~!! I can- can feel you- so deep~!!! You're hitting- my cervix-! Ahhh!! Ah-!! You're making my pussy all stretched out and gaping f-from yo-your knot~!!!”

His hips moved on their own, the tip of his dick kissing the entrance of your cervix, trying to penetrate you even further than he already was. Your cervix was already starting to swell, and you could feel the pressure building up in your belly.

You were going to be filled with his warm milky tiefling seed, your body ready to welcome his into this world. You swore your eyes had heart shapes in them from thinking about how his knot would plug his cum up inside of you this time, keeping it nice and safe, until he’s ready to fill you up with another batch of it. And then another… And another… Never spilling a single drop…

[destinationtrekk]

aftercare with wesker headcanons

a/n: he's taking over my brain like a parasite. i need him to kiss me sooooo bad and i'm 100% convinced he's the aftercare master

gn!reader, mentions of sex, nothing explicit but 18+ MDNI anyway

masterlist

the very first thing he does when he finally pulls out of you is cradle your face and check on you

he's very mindful of your state the entire time you're having sex, or doing anything together really, but he likes to make sure the endorphins and adrenaline haven't overwhelmed you after you finish (probably for the third or fourth time, at least)

he immediately wipes you down as well, he knows you hate to be sticky and you get really cold when your sweat dries

if you want to take a shower instead, he goes in with you. even if you're perfectly fine, he still wants to stay close. he's addicted to the quiet intimacy you give him and he'll use any excuse to justify never leaving your side

he's a velcro-boyfriend lapdog basically

in the shower he'll do everything for you as well, washing your hair and rubbing soap all over you to clean you off

sometimes this leads to another round, but it's pretty rare. even in his spacious shower he's still just a little too tall to make the position work

he'll sit you on the bathroom counter and dry you off, using a clean towel and taking his time to touch every inch of you.

sometimes, when he's been really rough on you, he'll make you lay flat so he can check you out, make sure he didn't tear you anywhere and that you don't have any chaffing or raw spots. he's so gentle when he touches you then, his fingers feather light as he rubs lotion or ointment on your sore spots

he's such a caretaker, now that he has someone he wants to take care of

once when you first got together, you had shyly asked for one of his t-shirts to sleep in, and even now, years later, he still hands you a soft shirt from his side of the closet and the sight of you wrapped in his clothing makes his heart soar

he makes you lay down and tucks you in, hands stroking over your head and arms while you smile sleepily up at him

he always makes you eat something, even if it's just some crackers or cheese or even a few pieces of chocolate. ideally he wants you to eat something like a protein bar, but you rarely have the stomach for anything heavy

he also makes you drink water, an entire bottle. he'll watch you to make sure you finish it, whether you chug it or take a few minutes to drink it, speaking softly with him in the mean time

he makes sure everything is ready before he finally gets in bed with you, checking the doors and locking them and flicking lights off. he has a really hard time shutting his mind off, even when he's this tired and content, so sometimes it takes you sitting up and pouting for him to settle and get in bed

this is his favorite part - 100%. you're wrapped tight in his arms, face pressed into his neck and warm breath fanning over his chest. it makes his heart skip a beat, the way you melt against him like you don't have a care in the world

he can smell your hair like this, and rub his hand up and down your back and cup your head to pull you closer. he's making sure to touch you as much as he can, your bodies fit together like puzzle pieces

you know he needs this just as much as you do. you make sure to thank him, to tell him what you liked and that you're grateful to have such a generous and kind partner to take care of you, and finally, that you love him

he appreciates it, every time, and hearing those three words from your lips (especially after he spent hours doing nasty, vulgar things to make you squirm and moan)

like i said he gets so deep in his head, whether it's before or after uroboros, and he really needs the reassurance that, after everything, you're actively choosing to love him

he tells you the same, that you were so good for him, so pretty and he adores you, and he loves you

he actually doesn't say he loves you very often. sometimes he's in his head and struggling with his emotions and the words are too much for him

he says them every time he's holding you like this though. not for himself, but to make sure you're happy and warm and comfortable and safe

you inevitably fall asleep on top of him, dead weight lax in his arms, and he's certain he's never been so happy in his life

[subbypeterparker]

Hi!, I was wondering if you could do NSFW headcannons for Ethan Landry 🤭

Ugh you guys know just what to ask me 😫

warnings: NSFW below the cut!!

first things first, this man is 100% a complete and total sub

let’s be honest, with me we knew this was coming ;)

big on being pinned down ;) doesn’t matter if it’s through actual restraints, or your hands, he’ll be a blushing mess

such a sleeper after sex. as much as you’d love to do proper aftercare, he just instantly falls asleep (don’t worry, you take care of him as soon as he wakes up)

Ethan might be the biggest crier known to man (i’m biased, and think all puppy dog eyes give off that energy)

omfg there is nothing prettier than his eyes when the poor thing tears up

whiner (VERY vocal)

it’s a goddamn miracle chad hasn’t complained about the noise when you two fuck, as Ethan is the loudest person ever

moans, groans, whines, pleas and begs; he does it all, and does it very well

huge on getting choked. breath play is possibly his biggest turn on, and the simple feeling of your gentle hands wrapping around his neck just gets him going

into knife play…but only slightly! he doesn’t want his skin to actually be pierced by a blade, but the uncertainty of what you’ll do to him has him arching into the blade

he thrusts his hips a lot by accident, and usually while he’s inside you somehow (might end up being too rough, and you have to pin him down)

i’d like to think he’s very very sensitive (nipples, his pretty little tip, everything 🤭)

mommy and ma’am kinks. i will take no further arguments, he’s so so into things like that

“yes mommy” is his voice omg 😵‍💫

not big on fluids like spit, but oh my lord is he into cum play

however, he’s not 100% against the idea of you spitting in his mouth

big stutterer when he’s so into it. can’t form sentences, much less actual words

fully convinced he’s an everything man. boobs and butts, never just one

this just means he’s handys with everything he can reach, and you can fully expect him to have his mouth all over you, leaving hickies as he moves

honestly is into role play. as a nerd, his biggest thing is having his partner dress up as a character he fantasizes about

bonus points if it a dominant woman

very into humiliation. sitting with all your friends, while your hand secretly strokes his cock, and all the poor thing can do is sit there and take it

he’s the world’s #1 praise fan!! you heard it here first: whether it’s praising you (“god you feel so good”) between moans, or when you praise him (“baby you’re doing such a good job”), his brain goes numb, and he just becomes your toy to play with

he is however very into degradation, especially if you tie it in with hitting him 😋

pain. kink.

leave bruises and bite marks all over him, and this man will cum on the spot

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

he is possibly my new favourite person i will write for (dw though, peter is here to stay 😋) but jack champion is just the sweetest guy i’ve ever seen, and i’m considering writing for him too (but it would just be fluff and angst)

[soursturniolo]

Hurtful Words • Nick Sturniolo

Synopsis: Nick and his boyfriend get into a fight the night before leaving for Boston. After some of the harsh words from Nick, his boyfriend is left hurt and uncertain of his place in his boyfriends life.

Pairing: Nick x male reader/character (no y/n but also no other name used, he/him pronouns)

Tags: angst, hurt, a bit of sunshine!reader x grumpy!nick, nick has a panic attack, comfort (happy ending because I guess I'm not 100% evil yet)

Nick had been extremely stressed all day. Nothing was going right, first he woke up late and missed his meeting. Then, he went to edit a video they had prefilmed to post while him, his brothers, and his boyfriend would be in Boston, just to discover the SD card was corrupted and nothing could be salvaged from it. Next, he developed a horrible headache as he was rushing to finish up packing for the flight tomorrow morning. Now, he was getting ready to film a replacement video with his brothers right as his cheerful boyfriend strode into his bedroom. Fuck , Nick thought to himself. He had forgotten his boyfriend was coming this early.

“Hey!” his boyfriend smiled as he made his way over to him, arms open for the usual hug they’d share. Most always, his boyfriends sunny disposition made him smile, but today it just made him irrationally angry.

“Hi,” Nick responds flatly, not meeting his partners eyes as he dodged the hug and affection being offered. If Nick had been looking up he would have seen the look of confusion and concern flash across the other man’s face as his arms lowered to the side upon seeing that Nick clearly didn’t want a hug.

The other man frowns as he takes in Nick’s disheveled appearance, hair sticking up from most likely stressful tugging, a clenched jaw and tense shoulders. Knowing Nick for almost a year now, he knows his boyfriend isn’t one to immediately talk out his feelings, so he doesn’t ask but quickly concludes it must have been quite a rough day for the brunette. Usually in these situations, they’ll cuddle and relax and watch some stupid TV show, so that’s what the man suggests. To which, Nick scoffs.

“I don’t have time to just lay around with you, I need to go do my job, I have so much shit I need to do before tomorrow,” Nick gripes, moving around to grab the camera and SD cards off his desk, stuffing them into a bag to take to the car where he’s sure his brothers are already waiting for him. In packing he’d lost track of time, looking at his phone to see its already 17 minutes past the time they said they’d meet in the garage.

His boyfriend nods in understanding, seeing the obvious stress practically pouring out of every pore of his boyfriend. He reaches out a hand, gently touching Nick’s arm, trying his best to sooth him.

“is there anything I can do to help?” he asks softly.

“Jesus Christ!” Nick exclaims, feeling overwhelmed by everything all at once, like his skin is on fire and every little thing makes his head pound even harder, yaking his arm away from the other man’s touch “yknow what actually, there is. Just leave me the fuck alone for two seconds!”

The man frowns slightly, taking a step back at Nick’s sudden outburst, wrapping his own arms around him, head cooking to the side minutely.

“we’ve been apart all day? I’m just trying to help, I’m sorry sweetheart,” he says softly, trying to give him a soft smile, which just makes Nick scoff and roll his eyes again. A deep frown paints his boyfriends face at the reaction, the man tightening his arms around himself, shoulders hunching in slightly.

“And you come in here all fucking smiles and hugs. you’re just happy all the fucking time. Just this fucking ray of sunshine. Some of us fucking aren’t. Maybe this just wasn’t a good idea.” Nick spits out, his words venom. Part of his brain is yelling at him to shut up seeing the hurt look spreading over his boyfriends face, but the angry voice overshadows that one, just wanting everyone to feel has horrible as he feels.

“What? What isn’t a good idea?” the man asks him, voice small, fearing the answer. Did Nick mean him coming to Boston along with his brothers to finally meet his parents? While he had been nervous about meeting his boyfriends parents at first, in the past few days he had become quite excited. Thinking of meeting his family, his family dog too. He had bought gifts for them all, even a chew toy for Trevor. Even today, the young man had found himself daydreaming at work, thinking of how well it all might go, imagining them all sitting around a table looking at photo albums and smiling as he learns more about the past of the man he so desperately wants a future with.

Nicks quick response has those hopes shattering, along with his heart.

“This. Us. I don’t know. I just need to fucking breathe. I’m leaving to film with Chris and Matt. Bye.” Nick half yells, voice strained as he stalks his way to the door, yanking it open and slamming it shut as he leaves, leaving a tearful man standing in the middle of the room wondering where it all went so wrong.

Nick was distracted the whole entire time they were filming, overcome with guilt and regret. He had been so harsh to his boyfriend, his number one supporter, next to his family of course. Flashes of the other man’s hurt face flicker in his mind, the timid and soft nature he had taken on as Nick raged at him, a shadow of the mans usually bright and bubbly demeanor. Even when he was short with him at first, instead of just leaving, his sweet boyfriend had still apologized and compassionately offered help. And what did Nick do to show his appreciation? Told him callously that maybe them dating had been a bad idea.

That wasn’t true in the slightest. They’d been together 7 months at this point, and it had been some of the happiest months of Nick’s life. He’d experienced a happiness that he never thought he’d get even remotely close to again, and this was how he repaid the man? Throwing his cheerful and sweet nature in his face as if it was something to be ashamed of? It made him sick to his stomach to recall how he’d behaved.

Noticing their brothers distraction, Matt and Chris suggested cutting the video short, under the guise of wanting to get on good nights sleep before their early flight home. The drive home was quick and quiet as Nick thought of all the ways he’d apologize to his sweet boyfriend who had a heart almost too good to be true.

The brothers quickly said goodnight and parted ways, Nick taking the stairs two at a time to get to his room so he could ask for the man’s forgiveness. Upon opening the door, he’s met with disappointment. He had left. Nick knew he shouldn’t be surprised though. As he pulls out his phone to call the man he knew he had hurt, a bag on his bed catches his eye, along with a note. He peaks in the bag, confused upon seeing four boxes wrapped in a plain purple wrapping paper, as he picks up the letter, recognizing the handwriting and feeling his heart clench painfully in his chest as he begins to read.

Nick,

I’m sorry, I never meant to upset you. I know I can be a lot, and I understand if it’s gotten too much to deal with. I was really looking forward to seeing Boston and meeting your family. But it’d be silly for me to tag along now, at this point. I had gotten some things for your parents, Justin, and Trevor. I was hoping you’d maybe give them to them for me?

Don’t worry, I’ll pay you back for my plane ticket if it’s too late to cancel it.

Thank you for the last 7 months, they meant the world to me. You did, too.

Nick feels tears gather in his eyes, beginning to stream down his face as he sits the letter down and quickly scrolls to his contact on his phone.

"please, pick up, pick up, pick up" he mutters, sniffling as he waits and hopes he'll answer. A shred of hope blooms upon hearing his call answered answer, the soft noise of a car engine in the back. Good, maybe his boyfriend hadn't made it home yet.

"baby?" Nick sniffles slightly, voice cracking. He hears the man on the other end of the line sniffle too, and he feels his heart crack a little more. he'd made his sweetheart cry.

"what do you need, nick?" the other man asks softly and tearfully.

"I need you. please turn around, I know you’re still in the car. I'm so sorry," Nick pleads.

"it's okay Nick," he sniffles, "just give those gifts to them, please?" he asks.

"no, I'm not," Nick cries, tears streaming down his face, one hand clutching his hair as the other clutches his phone against his ear, sagging against the wall and sliding down it into a heap on the floor, his chest feeling tighter and tighter.

"okay, I'll get them back from you when you guys get back home," he offers, which just makes Nick cry harder. He really fucked up this time.

"no, no you're supposed to give them to them, I want you to, I want you to turn around and come back here so I can tell you how fucking sorry I am and kiss you and watch a stupid movie with you and then we get up and we go to Boston tomorrow morning and you get to meet my family and see where I'm from and everything and they'll love you and your little gifts and your smile that can light up a room and they'll love you because I love you," he pleads over the phone, desolving into sobs on the phone.

the other man on the line tears up again at the sweet words and obvious remorse, and he wants to respond to them but Nick is spiraling in regret and sadness and he can hear that it's getting harder for him to breathe through his cries.

he turns the car around, beginning to take a shortcut back to the triplets house.

"Nick, I need you to breathe," the man says softly, hearing the loud cries through the speakers of his car.

"No, I'm not Nick, you never call me nick when we're alone, its always Nicky or sweetheart or babe," the brunette sobs, still feeling like his relationship is slipping through his fingers, and it's his own fault.

The man grips his steering wheel a little tighter, driving a little faster.

"I'm sorry sweetheart, I just need you to breathe for me, in your nose and out your mouth real slow for me okay? you know that box breathing technique I showed matt a few months ago?" he softly asks Nick.

"Yeah," Nick sniffles, breathing still shaking and disordered.

"Good baby, I'm going to count and I want you to breathe with me okay? I'm almost there but I need you to breathe for me until I get there, okay?" He asks softly.

As he continues to drive, he counts off and listens as Nick breathes with him, slight sniffles still present as he tries to focus on getting his breathing regulated with the knowledge that his boyfriend is coming back.

Nick doesn't even register the sound of his boyfriends car turning off or the sound of him using his house key to get in. his head jerks up to look up from his spot on the floor to see his boyfriend standing in his doorway. He quickly moves from his position on the floor, getting up and launching himself into his boyfriends arms.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean a fucking word I said," he sobs, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend tightly and burrowing his head into his neck, his tears wetting the skin. His boyfriend holds him just as snuggly in his arms, rubbing a soothing hand over his back as the other hand cups the back of his head softly.

"I know, its alright," the man sooths, but the words have an opposite affect on Nick, as the brunette pulls back quickly as he shakes his head.

"It's not alright! I was mean because I had a bad day and my head fucking hurts, and I hurt you. You didn't deserve that. I love you, and I love your personality and how loving and happy you are. It isnt something I or anyone should throw in your face. I should have talked to you, I should have thanked you for wanting to help me. I'm so sorry, ill be better, I'll get better at talking to you and communicating and not just blowing up at you for no reason," Nick sniffles, roughly wiping away his own tears.

"Okay, I forgive you," the other man offers softly, as he gently pulls Nick's hands away from the rough rubbing of his face.

"No! You shouldn't just forgive me, why are you being so nice right now?" Nick objects, confused by his boyfriends behavior as more tears make their way down his face.

The other man smiles softly and sadly, guiding his boyfriend over to the bed and sitting, pulling Nick down to sit right next to him. He gently guides Nicks head to rest on his shoulder as he wraps his arms around the man in a comforting embrace that Nick easily allows himself to be pulled into, the closeness easing the pain and regret in his heart.

"Let me ask you a couple things, okay? Maybe that'll help you understand why I'm forgiving you?" he offers, carding his fingers though Nick's hair softly, as he feels Nick nod and whisper is consent into his shoulder.

"Do you genuinely regret how you treated me?" A quick and firm nod from Nick.

"Do you see how hurtful your misplaced irritation can be?" Another firm nod and squeeze from Nick's arms around him is felt.

"Do you genuinely plan on working on communicating with me and being better in the future so this doesn't happen again?" Another nod and squeeze.

"Do you still love me and want to be with me, and want me to come to Boston with you?" This receives the fastest nod and squeeze of all the questions, making the man smile and turn to press a soft kiss to Nick's head.

"See. You acknowledged and took ownership of what you did wrong, you plan to work on being better, and I know you're genuinely sorry and regret hurting me the way you did. I trust you, so I trust what you say and the fact that this will not happen again. We will deal better the next time," he explains softly to the man in his arms.

"Okay. I promise I'll do better, I love you," Nick hoarsely whispers against his shoulder, cuddling more into the other man's side.

"I know, I love you too," Nick smiles wobbly as he hears those words and feels another kiss pressed against his head. He leans up, softly pressing his lips against the man's jaw, then his cheek, then thr corner of his mouth, smiling when we feels the skin move under his lips into a matching smile. Then, Nick presses their lips together in a soft and gentle kiss, trying to convey all the love and warmth he feels for the man in his embrace. His own ray of sunshine.

author's note: hey! i hope yall enjoyed! if you have any nick requests feel free to send em my way! im slowly but surely getting back into writing and i really want to write more for nick :)

no tag list on this post because I'm getting ready to redo my old tag list since most either aren't active anymore or have new usernames

[mxstellatayte]

can you do oscar and quote 15?

oh. oh my god. everything about this. (i accidentally inserted myself a wee bit too much into this one bc i'm autistic and this is something that i need in a partner soooo... enjoy me not being able to find a partner that understands my brain being weird)

you're fuming as you step through the door, trying your hardest not to slam the door and opting to throw your shoes as aggressively as possible into the closet. oscar immediately knows that something is off when he hears the clatter of your shoes as they're thrown and the subsequent sounds of your socked feet stomping down the hallway and towards the kitchen. he knows that when you arrive home in this emotional space, it's best to give you some space for around ten to fifteen minutes as you calm yourself down from what is likely a combination of sensory overload and emotional turmoil before even considering approaching you.

he can hear you shuffling around in the kitchen and living area, the clinking of dishes and silverware indicating that you're probably making yourself some kind of snack. eventually, a chair scrapes on the floor and you sit down, probably munching on whatever you made yourself.

fifteen minutes or so after you've settled down, oscar hears you shuffling around again, ultimately finding your way to his office. "osc?" he looks up from his computer and he can immediately tell that whatever's bothering you has made you more sad than angry now.

"yes, baby? what's going on?"

"work was shit," you mumble, leaning against the doorframe. "work was shit, a bunch of my files were lost because the power went out last night, and bruce made me break my work routine. overall, nothing went the way it was supposed to today." as you're talking, oscar rolls backwards in his chair a little bit and stands up, opening his arms to you.

"c'mere. i've got you, baby. nothing's gonna go wrong here. you know why?"

"why?" you say, your voice muffled by his black hoodie. hugging him always calms you down, and you can't figure out why. maybe it's the proximity and the feeling of his body on yours, reminding you of what's real and what isn't, maybe it's the way he wraps one arm around your shoulders and one around your lower back, holding you close, and maybe it's the way the smell of him fills your senses. heck, maybe it's a combination of all three. whatever it is, it helps you immensely every time you find yourself in a state similar to your current situation.

"because now, you're home, it's my turn to cook tonight, and we don't have to do anything tomorrow so we can watch as many movies as we want." you grin, already feeling much more at ease than when you approached his office.

"that sounds amazing, osc. thank you." you pull back ever so slightly, enough to look up at him.

"you're welcome. anything for my girl. you feel a little better?"

"yeah... not 100%, but i'll manage."

"would a kiss help?"

"absolutely." you stand on your toes, pressing your lips to his, and everything falls into place. you're safe.

[dark-frosted-heart]

Roger Barel Main Route - Both Ends Cleared Special Story

As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this. I’m doing this for archiving purposes and you can probably find a better translation out there.

This is in his POV

nsfw, minors dni

Today, I’ll tell you a story about me, a man named Roger Barel.

Someone, whose face I don’t remember anymore, once asked me something.

“Why do you live so recklessly?”

I absolutely don’t like wasting anything or being idle.

“Finding a way to get rid of curses” is a huge research project, and time keeps ticking away.

Even with a shortened lifespan, I wanna dig even deeper with my research.

Going on missions for Crown’s like gathering information, and my trivial everyday interactions, research.

With my boxing hobby to train my body and long hours of research, the only rest I get’s when I sleep or drink.

If my brain could stay in a fresh state, then I’d do research forever.

—At least, that’s what I thought. But apparently I’ve been changing lately.

--

Only “her” footsteps were distinct to my ears.

When the basement opened, I saw her face before I heard her voice.

Kate: Roger! I’ve sorted all your data on the Cursed by year!

Roger: Done already? That’s my dog-assistant-partner for you.

Kate: …What about lover.

Roger: Haha, I left it out on purpose. Thanks Kate, you’ve been a big help.

With the way Kate was beaming, if she were a dog, her tail would be wagging.

(You’re as cute as ever)

Kate: So…Do you remember our “promise”?

Roger: Yeah, “after finishing a task I assigned you, I’ll grant one request.” What did you want so badly?

Kate: Um, there’s a place I want to go—

--

Kate dragged me to—

(...The hell?)

—A group of people lying down on the grass.

They weren’t just lying down, they were all spacing out, as if their souls were sucked out.

Kate: It’s an “do nothing party” where busy people gather for a short break.

Roger: Do nothing?

Kate: Yes, Ellis told me it’s been secretly been in fashion in London.

Roger: Where does that guy even learn about this kind of stuff?

Kate: Hehe. Roger, you lie down too. Come on!

Kate spread out a large blanket she brought and lay down. 

(...Just doing nothing, huh? If Kate wants to, then I’ll go along with it)

I lay down next to her…

A blue sky filled my vision.

(...)

(...Has the sky always been this blue?)

(And I can hear the wind)

Despite the sky being around forever and my abnormal hearing, it felt as if I was experiencing these things for the first time.

Kate: …I’m sorry.

Roger: …What for?

Kate: I know you hate being idle and that you’d rather be spending your free time doing research. But we still have to live… The fight against despair never ends. Which is why if you keep running at full speed, you’ll run out of breath.

Roger: …

Kate: Sometimes you just need to pause, breathe, take a break.

Kate glanced at me and smiled.

Kate: Let’s run together again.

(So that’s it. That’s what Kate wanted to tell me.)

She said it casually, but the kindness in those words made it sink in.

It’s like I realized I hadn’t noticed the blue sky or sound of wind in a while.

(...Ah, I see. I’ve been acting reckless ‘cause I might’ve been “scared”)

For some time, I’ve felt like if I didn’t find a way to get rid of curses, then there was no reason for me being born.

I definitely felt that if I didn’t pursue my ambitions, I’d be betraying the people important to me.

So I continue to egoistically devote all my time into pursuing my ambitions.

(But humans aren’t kept alive only because they have meaning)

Every human’s existence was equally meaningful.

Though I came to realize that I didn’t apply this to myself.

(Having free will and fulfilling your ambitions makes you a villain)

(So I’ve been living life by getting rid of all the wasted needed to feel alive)

I don’t know if Kate did it on purpose, but she taught me some important things. To pay her back for these important lessons—

(Let’s enjoy this lovely idleness to the fullest)

Roger: Kate, let’s go.

Kate: Huh? Are we going back to work?

Roger: Nope. Sitting idle’s fine , but I wanted to spoil my cute lover. We can go shopping, eat, or go on a sightseeing cruise. What do you wanna do?

There were sparkles in Kate’s widened eyes.

Kate: All of the above!

Roger: Pfft, hahaha! Alright, we’ll do all of it. Come on, let’s go. Take my hand.

--

Kate: Roger, your shooting skills were amazing! Hehe, you shot down all the targets and the carny was at a loss.

Roger: You taking one prize and giving the rest back to the carny was admirable.

Kate: …There you go treating me like a child again.

Kate was in high spirits after playing all those games and held a large corgi plushie, the top prize from the shooting gallery, in her arms.

Roger: The stuffed toy’s nice and all, but I think it’s about time you give me a hug too.

Kate’s face fell, making her look like a scolded puppy.

Kate: …Don’t want to.

Roger: What, you going through a rebellious phase?

Kate: Because! Even though I took up a lot of your time today…I want to take more. If I hug you, I don’t think I’ll ever let you go…

(...*sigh* Why’s her reason so damn cute)

She wasn’t even trying to flirt with me, but that unconscious spoiled act aroused an animalistic desire.

Not one to hide my desires well, I sat on the bed and laid my sweet trap.

Roger: You’re a villain’s lover, remember? If you wanna take it, then take it—come here, Kate.

Kate: …Are you sure I can take up more of your time?

Roger: How insensitive. And if I say “I want you to”?

Kate: ~~...!

Kate squealed and threw herself onto the bed.

Roger: Heh, as usual there’s nothing sexy about the way you try to seduce me.

Kate: Sorry, your glasses—

Roger: Don’t need to put them back on—I’m gonna do this anyway.

Kate: Mnn, nnn…

I kissed Kate deeply and she sweetly sighed out my name in between breaths.

Kate: Roger…

(Early I said your seduction wasn’t sexy)

(...But when you’re like this, it’s enough to turn me on)

As we kissed, I stripped and caressed her, making her heat up and easily melt under my touch.

The more often we did this, the more Kate’s body became receptive to pleasure, which was also cute.

Watching Kate moan on top of me ignited a wicked desire.

Roger: Oh right, how about I teach you something we haven’t done before?

I pulled my shirt out, undid the front of my pants, took my cock out, and stroked it.*

I rested against Kate’s dripping wet entrance.

Roger: Tonight, you’re gonna put “this” in by yourself.

Kate: I don’t think…

Roger: Then I guess we won��t do it then. I’ll just have to take care of myself.

Kate looked like she was fighting against her shyness as she put her hand on me…

Kate: …Please don’t laugh if I’m not good at this.

After positioning herself, she slowly sank down onto it.

Kate: Pfff…

(...I told her to do it herself, but now I’m feeling impatient)

Roger: Come on, just a little more. Keep lowering your hips.

Kate: I don’t think I can…Roger.

Roger: Heh, alright. I’ll help you.

I might’ve sounded like a sensible adult…but I was already at my limit.

Her walls fluttered around me when I grabbed her hips and lowered her down.

Kate: …Haaa…Nnngh

Roger: Come on, don’t cum without saying anything.

Kate: But…

Roger: You might feel light-headed after just cumming, but…there’s more pleasure to come.

I took a nipple in my mouth and rolled it around with my tongue while still holding onto her hips, slowly thrusting in and out of her.

Kate: Ahh…Roger.

(Ahhh, I can only think about her right now)

(No, not just now)

(Come to think of it, I never thought that she wasted my time)

~~ Flashback ~~

Kate: Strong…I want to be strong. Because I…don’t want to hate myself. Besides…life’s too long to live in despair.

Roger: …O_O Pfft, hahahahaha!

(I thought it was amusing how she was sobbing when she felt down, but didn’t despair)

--

Kate: Next time you do something perverted, I’m breaking our friendship!

Roger: Pfft, haha! Are you a kid or something? Dummy.

(We had a lot of pointless, childish arguments)

--

Kate: …Huhu…

Roger: Ah…you’re trying to hold your tears back.

Kate: B-because…You’ve acknowledged me as your partner…I’ll ruin it if I cry.

Roger: Pfft…

Kate: Besides, I know my crying face makes you happy.

Roger: Pfft, ahahahaha! You…You’re really… You’re so damn cute!

Kate: W-waaahhh~ Roger you bully!

(I bullied Kate so many times just to see her cute reactions)

--

Kate: Pull yourself together, Roger Barel! You’re the strongest egoist out there! This despair’s nothing. Just give it the middle finger and laugh it off like you always do!

Roger: …O_O

~~ End flashback ~~

(And when I didn’t believe in love, she proved to me that it existed)

(Kate, I don’t think any of the time I spent with you was a waste)

(To me, the time I spent with you’s a lovely idleness)

It’s thanks to this idleness that I was still able to escape despair and continue pursuing my ambitions.

Kate and I lost ourselves to passion and pleasure, savoring this lovely idleness.

Kate: …Roger, love you, I love you.

I stroked Kate’s hair as she lost herself to this heat and pulled her into my arms.

Roger: …I know. It’s an emotion you taught me.

--

A few days later, I heard Kate’s footsteps as she ran down the stairs to the basement.

Kate: Roger.

Roger: Yeah? What’s up, Kate?

Kate: Ah, you’re working right now, aren’t you?

I heard the sound of paper crinkling behind her back.

(Ellis did mention something about the circus being in town)

I guess Kate was holding the flyer behind her back.

Roger: Let me guess what you’re hiding behind your back. A circus flyer?

Kate: How did you know?!

Roger: Who knows. Gimme another half hour and then we can go.

I couldn’t help but smile at how adorable Kate looked as she blinked at me.

Roger: Research is important to me and I still don’t like anything wasteful. I’m sure there’ll be more times in the future when I get so absorbed with research that I neglect everything else. I’m not exactly the most considerate.

Kate: Hehe, I know that a little too well.

We looked at each other and exchanged conspiratory smiles.

Roger: —However, Kate, I can change. I’ll try to change for you, so— Let’s be together forever.

(I want to love you until the moment I take my last breath)

(Even if I spend my whole life searching, I’ll never find another woman like you)

Kate: …What do I do.

Roger: Hm?

Kate: I love you so, so much. You’re glittering.

Roger: Pfft, hahahaha. You’ve said something like that before.

~~ Flashback ~~

Kate: The person I like is different from everyone else. They’re especially glittering.

~~ End flashback ~~

That’s what Kate told me when I didn’t know what love was.

(Back then, I thought it was completely unscientific and impossible)

When Kate blushed and smiled at me, she also seemed to glitter for a moment.

Like gold dust glittering in the dark.

I wanted to touch the light, so I pulled Kate into my arms.

Kate: …Roger, what about your research?

Roger: …Just let me hug you for 3 minutes. Then I’ll continue my research.

Kate: …I’d like to extend it to 4 minutes. 

Roger: How about 5 minutes then.

(Ah, what the heck. It’s a complete waste)

(But I can’t live without moments with her like these anymore)

(This lovely idleness is necessary to live)

Roger: Kate, I love you so much.**

-

*I’m not using their “mass” euphemism anymore. Time to free the cock. Especially since this is Roger’s POV

**Whenever “I love you” was used, it’s been 大好き (daisuki). But here, Roger said 愛してる (aishiteru). Unfortunately, English doesn’t have as many ways to say “I love you” with different meanings and feelings so…”I love you so much” it is.

[erwinsvow]

Sorry babe but my brain isn’t shutting off… a very original rafe and jj love triangle is plaguing my mind

I’m thinking the midsummers drama is about kook reader

Maybe she’s new to town like family moved to obx cause her dad became partners with ward which gave Rafe easier access to you than jj but how can you not immediately be charmed by him when Sarah brings you around to meet her friends??

- 💓

stop cuz this is where the real fucking tea is. it’s so obvious they both want u and they’re getting fucking jealous of the other… can easily imagine falling for rafe he’s so mean!!! sometimes barely gives u any attention and when he does he’s always like pushing you against a wall and making out with you or like honest to god fingering you in the bathroom w his family and ur family next door. then he pockets ur panties and sends you back out there without them. he’s such a menace but it’s so hard to stay away from him 😣sometimes he’s real sweet n obviously spoils you like crazy!! parades you around his friends, gives you rules to follow which you always do (like no drinking without his permission/talking to strangers etc). rafe is so territorial and possessive so to him you’re his already. however he never made anything official… which is where jj comes in.

it’s like when rafe makes you sad or ignores you for work or business or whatever you just go spend time with sarah, not knowing many people here but getting friendly with her since you’re over at tannyhill a bunch! she takes you out with her friends who are so different than what you expected! n rafe is always warning you about the wrong side of the island and those dirty pogues you need to stay away from.. but they’re not mean at all! they’re nothing like what he said, so sweet and inviting and funny. they’re all nice but jj is the nicest of course.

and jj i mean he’s a player so he can’t help his reaction to a new pretty girl hanging around his friends, getting along with everyone being awfully friendly and sweet for a kook. he thinks you must have a crush on him too, with the way you flounder around in your tiny sundresses and teeny bikinis at the beach. it’s not long before he’s taking you off on early morning surf lessons (and he loves to sleep in, so this means something), ditching smoke seshs with his friends to come sit with you on the beach or something, ignoring the fact that he has 100% seen you hanging round with rafe cameron recently when he’s making out with you and you’re crawling into his lap in the back of the Twinkie.

i so forgot about midsummers!!!!! yes it would be so juicy, seeing you all dolled up in a short dress, obviously you accompany rafe but when he stalks off to go have “serious, proactive conversations” you find jayj and get real tipsy over glasses of champagne with him. rafe sees red and jj is just screaming at him to let you make your own choice. at midsummers there was beef n tension n chasing but they wouldn’t start swinging just yet.

and you, i mean there’s nothing better than having the attention of a boy you really like but TWO. ur probably going crazy but you don’t realize how impacted rafe n jj are, literally butting heads and almost fist fighting everytime they see each other or see you with the other. you’ll be out at lunch with rafe playing footsie under the table, whining because he left you again to do work while he’s trying to apologize when you see jj—and start waving. jj of course comes to the table and gets comfortable, probably eats something off of rafe’s plate. you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and when you get back there’s definitely broken glasses and thrown silverware.

similarly when you’re on the beach with jj, if you see rafes truck pull up you go to say hi, and jj follows behind you, HATING the way rafe’s staring at your practically naked body in a tiny bikini because you are his girl, and he says as much.

“stop being a creep and starin’ at my girl, cameron. go find someone else to bother.” and you look back at jj, smiling all dopey because he just called you his.

“your girl? that’s real funny. she’s my girl, right babe?” and then you look at rafe, face burning with embarrassment. they start bickering back and forth while you stand there looking at both of them and feeling your head spin. this is when they finally start throwing punches, both of them rustling in the sand and ending up with bruises n black eyes.

you’d finally throw in the towel and start crying (typical shea reader insert 🙄) n of course they blame each other but then feel terrible, awkwardly scratching the back of their head while you sob about how i hate fighting!! i don’t wanna fight i love you both why can’t we just be happy together!!

jj n rafe lock eyes. they can clearlyyyyy tell what you need right now to feel better. so obviously they throw you into rafe’s truck, drive to a secluded part of the shore, and take turns fucking you on the bed of his truck <3 lol

[kiestrokes]

i like had this thought in the back of my head of like what ateez would be like with an S/O who has a physical illness bcs i actually have one which causes a lot of pain to my bones and i'm like in a constant state of pain and discomfort, been going on for about 12 years HELL YA ✊🏻, if i don't keep up on my meds (currently don't have the proper meds so it only tides me over for a little while-) then im basically fucked so IDK i feel like there isn't a lot of stuff written about this kind of stuff (im a sucker for shit i hardly ever am able to read abt) ALSO IM NOT 100% SURE IF YOUR REQS WERE OPEN BCS I DIDNT SEE ANYTHING POSTED ABT IT SO- YA- if you don't want to write it obviously you don't have to !! no pressure at all lovely

ATEEZ Caring for You: Chronic Illness Edition | SFW

Pairing: ATEEZ x Gender Neutral!Reader/You/Yn Rating: SFW Genre: fluff, slice of life, headcanons, imagines, scenarios. Warnings: chronic illness + immunocompromised talk.

🗝️ Note: Hey atiny anon! You actually asked the right person; I have fibromyalgia combined with a few other annoying chronic illnesses. Because you can't just have one 😓 I hope that you can find a decent fucking doctor and get on the proper medication soon. That's the biggest part of the struggle, finding a physician that will listen and is competent enough. I hope this was enough, I tried to assign each member a caring task that I felt fit them! Has not been beta-ed.

Disclaimers: This is a work of fiction; I do not own any of the idols depicted below. 

Seonghwa 

He’s here to help you prevent all the chronic pain that he can. Booking you massage visits. Trips to the hot springs. All the arnica rubs. Silly little games the two of you play, to keep your mind off the pain and depression spirals. His favorite is seeing who can build their new Lego set the quickest. Hwa is the biggest advocate for you, he would never return a dish at the restaurant when its wrong. But he will fight for you at every appointment, every pharmacy, wherever you need him to. Because he knows you've grown tired of fighting all the time.

Hongjoong

HJ's specialty is flexibility. You have a sudden burst of energy? He’s down to go explore that new pop-up market with you. You’ve come down with a bout of bone numbing pain? That’s cool, you’re getting changed into comfy clothes and piled up on the couch. Swaddled in your heating pad with all the snacks. Where he falls asleep on your shoulder. HJ never gets frustrated with your rapid change in mood or plans. Nothing but the most understanding partner you could ever have asked for, and boy is he so cute and snuggly when dozing on you. Small hands seeking your face for drowsy kisses that soothe your aches just a smidge.

Yunho

The quiet presence, the one who knows what you need before you say it. Passing you tissues, making you a cup of tea and most importantly holding you so that you can cry. Shedding angry tears about how frustrated you are with your own body for betraying you. For feeling weak. For missing out on things. He's gently calming every frayed nerve in your brain. Reassuring you that you're exactly where you need to be in this moment, and he will bring all of the fun to you. And he does, in small, manageable doses.

Yeosang

His way of caring for you is through caring for your outside. All the skin masks, hair treatments, skin softening lotions because if you feel cruddy, at least he can make you feel cute and comfortable. They do heal though, in their own way. The extra moisture of the humidifier and every cream and essence he buffs into your skin helps keep some of the aches away. Subsiding the itchiness of the nerve pain, just a little. And you can’t get over how cute Yeosang looks in each animal themed headband or with his hair tied back into teeny space buns or how nice his hands feel every time they glide over your skin.

San

Where Yunho is quietly attentive, San is passionately attentive. You cry, he cries (while holding you). Quite literally your pain, is his pain and he’s here to be with you through each step. No judgment is ever passed when he has to pick up your extra chores around the house. Because to him, that is the smallest act of service he can perform for you. San is the one who wishes he could take on your pain, that he could fight it and destroy it and it pains him that he cannot. So he will simply have to do everything else.

Mingi

He thrives on making you laugh and smile through tough days, because he understands feeling burdensome. Mingi never wants you to feel that way, he wants to make sure you verbally know that your presence is needed and welcome. His favorite thing is cuddled up in bed with you wrapped in your heated blanket watching shows. You looking so small in his arms, giving him the feeling of protecting something. He reassures you constantly, because he himself seeks constant reassurance. Mingi never tires of this, he will reaffirm every single self deprecating thought with a compliment even on his worst days.

Wooyoung 

He cares for you with his skinship, which is incredibly healing. His happy heartbeat encourages yours. His strong hands make you feel loved and needed. Who would cuddle him if not you? Woo often reminds you, whispering the phrase into your ear as he traces his nails through your hair, or while rhythmically drawing circles on your spine. Making you float into dream land and anchoring you in the moment with him at the same time. Woo also loves making you whatever dish you’re craving, knowing you need energy to fight off fatigue and pain. And cooking is one of his many, many love languages.

Jongho

Needing to hoard all the extra rest you can get; you seek out solace at Jongho’s place for nap time. Jongho has taken notice, he’s also taken inventory as to which blankets of his you prefer, the pillows that keep you asleep the longest, what temperature you prefer the room to be based on what you’re wearing. All your favorite snacks before or after. New blackout curtains. He’s made his place your ultimate nap zone. New heated blankets. Duplicates of your fave lounge wear and socks. And he takes his payment in cuddles. Holding you tightly in his bed or sprawled on the couch. Sometimes he falls asleep himself and flips you onto your back to bury into your side like a full-sized teddy bear.

© COPYRIGHT 2023 by kiestrokes All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be reproduced without written permission from the author. This includes translations.

[inbabylontheywept]

The Mormon Heretic Casts a Curse

So, this is a sequel piece to The Mormon Heretic and the Leviathan. @apolloendymion requested that I write some more of the stories, and this is another one. I'm going to put a trigger warning here that the story does involve partner abuse. Not from the heretic, but just... as a detail. Also, I guess, some medical stuff that involves death. It's Old Testament shit. Take it as you will.

Mormon seminary has four separate courses about the four separate parts of their canon. It’s on a constant rotation, and my particular ordering was Old Testament, then New Testament, then Book of Mormon, then Doctrine and Covenants. 

I got the Mormon Heretic for my OT year, which is 100% the best year I could have possibly got him for. And, also, absolutely the worst, because at that time I was a very orthodox Mormon, and this guy couldn’t have fucked with my brain worse if JFK’s dad gave him an icepick and a waiver. 

At that time I had an abysmal understanding of the OT, and to call my experience with it jarring would be an understatement. I learned that Elohim is a plural word. I learned that OT God itself doesn’t deny the existence of other Gods, and in fact relished challenging them to contests. The whole experience was so insane to me that I stayed after class one day to ask the teacher how he managed to bridge the divide between the OT and the NT. They're insanely different theologies, and he really refused to mince words about it.

He listened to my concerns, and I cried a little because I was fourteen and beginning to realize that there was something fundamentally wrong with the religion I was born into, and when it was all said and done he said that tomorrow he would teach the story of how he squared away the differences between OT God and NT God. 

And he did. 

I can remember having a sense that something was strange when we arrived at the building. There was a crosswalk where the exiting teenagers would pass the entering teenagers, and normally people would discuss the lesson as they passed. The group we passed just looked shell shocked. 

I sat down. The class arrived. Heretic stood up, and went to the front of the class, and he began his tale: 

He had a little sister that got married at nineteen. She then started making visits to the hospital. 

He, like his family, assumed that she was just clumsy. He was clumsy. He’d had multiple surgeries on his shoulders and his elbows and his knees because he kept doing dumb things to himself.

She was not clumsy. Her husband was beating her. 

She got a divorce. Heretic was old when the story was being told - I think in his early sixties? - and the divorce went shockingly well for the time. Sister was not blamed, husband was ostracized from both families, and life found a way to continue in its slow way. 

Heretic was, at that point, a new teacher in the Church Education System (CES). He was trying to be a spiritual guy, and teach spiritual lessons, but he just wasn’t doing a very good job because he was really, really, murderously angry with the guy that had hurt his sister. 

Sister had moved on. Or, he thought she had, he was hardly telepathic, but he felt like she’d let go and started her life anew, and her parents had supported her, and even her in laws had supported her, and things should have been easy to let go of, but they weren’t. And every day that he tried to let go, he got more and more angry, and every day he tried to pretend he was fine he ripped the wound wider, and one day he taught a spectacularly bad lesson and came home and wanted nothing more than to kill the man that had beat his sister. He instead said a prayer. I cannot quote it verbatim, but this is very, very close to what was said. ��God, I know that I must forgive to be forgiven, but I want nothing more than to see that animal choke to death on his own shit.”(I know for a fact that the choke on shit part was in it. It is not a common thing to hear a seminary teacher say “shit” in the middle of class. It is also integral to the rest of the story) If this was a book, there would’ve been an immediate result, but instead Heretic felt a strange peace, grabbed ahold of it like a lifeline, and resolved to go to therapy. Which is how he got into Jungian analysis. Finding therapy in the deep South in 1980 was pretty wild. Jump cut forward to the early 2000s. Heretic has moved on. Sister is remarried. He is at peace with the world, but he gets a call from his sisters old in-laws. 

And the in-laws say that yes, they have ostracized the abuser for the last twenty years, but they got a call from him a few hours ago to please, meet him at the hospital, because he was sick. 

And the abuser was, in fact, very sick. He’d been vomiting for days. The doctors couldn’t figure out why, but they knew that at the present rate, they were running out of time. He was going to have some kind of exploratory surgery as a hail Mary, and the guy wanted a blessing first. 

And so the family had gone to Heretic, to ask him if he would be willing to bless the man that had beat his sister. It is one thing, to feel like you have forgiven someone enough to move on, and another to wish good things upon them. But Heretic had spent years and years in therapy, and he developed on an incredibly spiritual path, and he said that yes, he would bless the man before the surgery. 

And he did. 

The surgery found that the man had a benign mass in his colon. It wasn’t spreading, but it had grown large enough to prevent food from going around it. Without an exit, things had built up back to the entrance. The man was throwing up because there was nowhere else for the shit to go. Worse, during the surgery he thrown up and some of the mix had managed to drain back into the man’s lungs. He survived the knife, but the combination of fecal matter and acid inside his lungs had created an infection that he failed to survive. He drowned in his own fluids. 

He drowned in his own shit. 

Now, at that point, the class had no idea where this was going. We were a bunch of children, hearing a story about this insane divine retribution, but the Heretic continued. 

And with tears in his eyes, he told us that God had answered his original prayer only after he had fully and truly forgiven that man. That if he’d wished death on another human being in anger, in rage, and then received it, it would have damned his soul, but that as soon as he was at peace, as soon as he could wish life and love upon the man that had wronged his kin, justice could be brought down. And be believed it, with his entire heart. He spoke about how God wants to give us what we want, but that he loves us so much that we will not give it to us until we have reached the point where it is not poison to us. We will have our revenge, but only when it is meaningless to us. When the only lesson that could be grabbed from it is that God heard us the first time, and held back out of love. Then, we will see those who had wronged us choke on their shit.  

The bell rang after that, and we left the class in a daze. When we went across the crosswalk, no one spoke a word to the students crossing the opposite way. We were all too busy thinking.