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#and it's really difficult to do it alone
watercolor-hearts · 1 year
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#i got into the second round of the admission procedure on the university that's my number 1#and i was so happy#and i accidentally told it to my gradma#and she was like 'and?'#and then i realized that she (like most of the people in my family) wanted me to be a baker or a hairdresser#so she doesn't support my university plans#neither my father or his girlfriend#and it's really difficult to do it alone#i almost sent it to my art teacher because he supports me and he was the one that told me not to worry about my father not letting me#go to university#but then i was like i don't want to bother him at weekend and also it's stupid to be this happy just because my portfolio was good enough#to get me into the second round#it doesn't mean anything there still is a chance that i won't get into university and that all the prople who said i'm stupid were right#so i'm just sitting in my room crying because i'm so fucking tired and i jist want my family to be proud of me at least a little bit#but i know it's too much to ask#i don't want my teacher to laugh at me for being as happy as i was for this#i don't know how i'm gonna continue alone because i've been doing thid for so long and i'm really really tired#and i'm gonna loose my teacher too once i leave high school after finishing all my exams#i will only have my best friend (and even though she supports me it's just... not enough and this feels really selfish to say i'm sorry)#(i hate that you can't put comas in the tags. i would really need in in the one above this)
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general-cyno · 1 year
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today in more zolu thoughts: yet another thing I find fascinating about zoro and luffy's relationship, which I believe the LA managed to capture pretty well despite the differences between it and the og source material, is that while zoro's capacity for loyalty and devotion where luffy's concerned are insane (the all-encompassing, heartfelt, lay down my life and dreams for you, follow you until death or the very end of everything kind of crazy), they're not entirely unconditional per se. the condition here being that he has to measure up to zoro's standards - that luffy has to prove himself a man worthy of following.
there are plenty examples of this in the manga, but I'll stick to where it and opla intersect. so manga!zoro pretty much stands firm with this condition when he agrees to follow luffy, warning him about not getting in the way of zoro's dream right away. opla zoro is a lot more reluctant to join in comparison, and he just seemingly goes along with the whole thing in a more "might as well" manner; even so, there's these few subtle moments where you can see him being struck awe by luffy's faith in himself/his dream (the dinner at kaya's) and showing exactly why he's a "different" kind of pirate (ie freeing the folks from orange town).
still, the most pivotal moment is zoro's fight with mihawk in both cases. this is where luffy has to really prove himself to zoro, for the first time. because talk of dreams and promises and not hindering them is nice and all, but can luffy really stand by what he says when push comes to shove? when the life of someone he cares about is on the line? and man. the answer is yes.
in the manga, by stopping johnny and yosaku from intervening and refusing to do so himself as well, even though he was deeply upset by zoro getting hurt, luffy proved he wouldn't go back on his word nor betray zoro's trust and the faith he had placed in him. in a similar fashion, opla luffy letting zoro go ahead with the duel despite his own apprehension/doubts and nami questioning both of their choices, is what finally led to zoro recognizing him as his captain out loud and accepting his role as a first mate.
I just think it's interesting that these two kind of make each other walk on a tightrope. only the world's greatest swordsman can stand by the pirate king's side. the pirate king can have the world's greatest swordsman by his side, if he proves himself worthy of it. but the best part? for me, it's that zoro and luffy are able to challenge one another this way (or set the bar that high) because they absolutely believe the other can rise up to it and beyond.
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triple-starsss · 3 months
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think i might've?? mentioned this before but prior to moving into the T☆S apartment, Silver didn't have a place of his own. he was a bit of a couch surfer and would live with Blaze, Vanilla or sometimes the Chaotix.
he often felt VERY guilty for staying with them so he'd frequently switch, afraid he'd overstay his welcome and thought he was intruding in their space (despite each of them saying its completely fine, he can stay for as long as he likes, he isnt a burden to them)
when he got the opportunity to move into an apartment with Sonic and Shadow it was nice to finally have a place where he knew for sure he was able to stay for good. However it still didn't feel right, he still didn't think he truly earned it.
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apollosgiftofprophecy · 10 months
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RRVerse Fandom, Please Hear Me Out...
Message to the wider Riordanverse fandom:
Please correctly tag your fanfics with the correct fandom tags.
I am getting tired of seeing non-Apollo fics cluttering up the Trials of Apollo tag (such as Percy/Annabeth. like. what. they're barely in ToA. why are they there.). If your fanfic does not deal with Apollo, Meg McCaffrey, or the story of ToA or the consequences of it, please do not tag it as such.
I have seen fics tagged as ToA and not even have the MC, Apollo, tagged as part of the cast. So please. I am begging you. Please stop. You have the Percy Jackson & the Olympians - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, AND The Heroes of Olympus tags.
Solangelo writers, you now have the Sun and the Star tag, as well as the All Media Types one. Unless it happens during or alongside something to do with Apollo & his story, please refrain from tagging it as ToA.
And no. I do not think just being Solangelo should qualify all Solangelo fics to be tagged as ToA. If anything, they should be The Sun and The Star tag or even The Heroes of Olympus tag because that's when it all began! However, if, say, it's during The Hidden Oracle or takes place in the ToA timeframe then sure! ToA tag it!
But if it's just like an AU or something that only focuses on Solangelo? Then please don't. It's not ToA then.
This is what the ToA tag looks like btw:
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I know, Nico, Will, and Percy are all popular characters, but COME ON. This is Apollo's tag, please give him this! It's so hard to find fics I want to read because it's so cluttered! Apollo's not even in the top three most-tagged characters in his own fandom tag.😒
And look at the gap between the number of fics Apollo's in compared to Percy! A 354 gap! And there's 1,616 gap between Apollo and Nico! And I can say with certainty that not all of those fics Percy - and even Nico and Will - are in are related to ToA.
Meg McCaffrey, the second MC of the series, is not even on the board. And she's a very close second MC.
And trust me. I know a bunch of these fics have nothing to do with ToA. I have scoured the tag many times and have figured that out.
So please, please, please leave The Trials of Apollo tag be unless you are writing for The Trials of Apollo. We are our own fandom and frankly, it's getting annoying having to shuffle through a bunch of fics that have nothing to do with ToA just to find ones we want to read.
Fic authors, it would be such a big help if you could remove the ToA tag from your fic if it doesn't have anything to do with ToA. I know you want your fic to be seen, and use a bunch of tags to do so, but this really inconveniences the ToA fans who just want to read about our favorite loser god and his gremlin adopted sister. ☹️
Sincerely,
A ToA fan who just wants to read fics about her favorite character but can hardly wade through the fics even with the filtering system.
Thank you. It needed to be said.
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crownedwille · 2 months
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#some thoughts incoming idk if i should share but i need to put them somewhere#it's hard being in the yr fandom since the finale when you don't share the same vision and opinion as the rest#and people make future wilmon posts or write post s3 fics (which many exist now) they just don't align with your idea at all#and they're not exciting to me at all and the whole concept just makes me upset#i don't wanna imagine Wille as a 'normal' person (not that that's ever possible anyway which the show loves to ignore)#like I'm sorry but i didn't come to the show to watch an ordinary love story and have them lead an ordinary life#the idea of Wille being a future king and them navigating that royal life together is so much more interesting#i hate that that isn't canon anymore and when ppl make posts about them it's not about that or that would only be seen as a negative thing#i don't wanna imagine a life where they are 'normal' that isn't appealing to me at all and it sucks seeing everyone embrace it#and it's like you're not allowed to want something else or think differently bc that makes you the bad person and you're just wrong#i can't be excited about their future (also bc i don't really see them going strong in the future with how they messed them up in s3)#(i also didn't want to know what could possibly happen in the future i wanted that to stay open and just be in the present)#and seeing everyone else excited and happy about it makes you feel horrible and very alone and disconnected in the fandom#i don't wanna take it away from them but i also would love to see other takes but that's basically impossible now#am i the only person who feels this way or are there any other who can relate? pls let me know#i already feel like ppl are gonna attack me for this but it's been hard especially now with Simon's month and seeing so many interpretation#navigating ao3 has also become difficult now#it's hard finding fics to read where wille stays crown prince and you don't have to be scared for that to change#i just can't read any canon compliant fics anymore and i hate it bc i hate to disagree with canon#i normally don't do that bc canon is important to me and i don't want to reject it and create my own fantasy#and that's what's upsetting#anyway sorry i had to write this#personal
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13eyond13 · 3 months
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I love the way that, in addition to his origin story with his over-sized sword and the scar on his nose, the flashbacks to Guts's childhood show how much of his insane work ethic and reckless self-endangering abandonment in battle were all kinda ingrained into him by his craving for attention and approval from shitty father figure, Gambino.
Random nice mercenary guy: "Don't overexert yourself, kid. Just do what's needed. 'Cause if you die, you lose everything."
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Gambino: "It's your first battle. Work hard!"
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Guts: [throws himself into battle so hard he nearly dies multiple times, fixating on pleasing Gambino the entire time]
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Gambino: "C'mon, hurry up! Work! Work!"
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Guts: [gives Gambino his entire earnings, Gambino tosses him back a single coin]
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Guts: [more motivated by this one mild bit of encouragement than anything he's ever experienced before in his life]
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#it's difficult to post berserk meta because i feel like the manga is often so well-written and well put together#that every panel is important and it's hard to leave anything out - and i'll end up just reposting the entire chapter instead#like this is leaving out all the stuff before that leading up to this moment#where gambino is either neglectful or cruel to guts almost all the time - giving him the scar on his nose in a rage#yet also now and then tossing him a bone like giving him medicine for his wounds - and as minimal as that 'kindness' is#it's the only caring attention guts actually ever receives and he's so starved for it that it keeps him striving to earn more :(#and how the other members of the band don't like how gambino treats guts yet also do not step up to raise him themselves either#and whisper together about their resentment of him at night when he's left alone to fend for himself#AND then i am also leaving out the bits after that where gambino immediately goes and does the worst thing possible to guts too...#renting him to donavan... yet another awful formative experience for the kid#just constantly reinforcing to guts that he's got nobody but himself and his sword for his sense of protection and value and purpose#but showing that those tiny scraps of kindness and praise were basically keeping him alive and what he really wanted underneath too#it's just extremely well-done and so good at showing exactly why guts is the way that he is later on#and why when griffith started paying attention to him and valuing him as a person#in addition to putting him to work in the ways he was most familiar and comfortable with - it was basically like crack for him as well#berserk#berserk spoilers#p
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pacifistcowboy · 11 months
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silver learning japanese while he’s in the future and not telling espio until he knows how to speak at least a full sentence so he can somewhat talk to him in his first language
when silver finally says something in japanese espio is stunned and flattered and smitten and immediately offers to help teach him the rest of the language. they now do a lesson at least once every time silver comes to the present.
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Trying to find something to do when I finally start keeping Shabbos is a fun challenge because it's like
Knowledge: you should rest and not work
Me: great I'm unemployed and spend my days on the couch I'll just boot up my computer and-
Knowledge: the use of electronics counts as work
Me: ok fine so a day without screens that's fine I have meatspace hobbies like I draw and crochet and-
Knowledge: creating counts as work
Me: right. um. well I can listen to- no music requires electronics. but at least I can write- no that's creating. at least I can?? go for a walk??
Knowledge: yes
Me: yay
Knowledge: but you may not bring any items you are not wearing in public
Me: uh-yay... I'm out of ideas ._.
Mom: hey can you help me untangle all these yarns? there's probably enough here to keep you busy for weeks but you can just do one bit at a time no rush
Me: !!! That's something I can do! That's not electronic or creative!!
Knowledge: buddy I have bad news about untying and separating threads
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Being queer and neurodivergent is great and all until you're with relatives and you watch other people and feel like an outcast in your own family
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padfootastic · 2 years
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if you were to summarise sirius' personality and character traits, how would you do it?
hi hi hi! so sorry for long this took but okay, so, let’s do this.
so, his CORE trait for me will always be loyalty, hands down. i once waxed poetic about sirius’ devotion to the potters to my friends for like, half an hour straight (one of them actually teared up). the way he talks about james even after so many years, how his first instinct is always to look out for harry, how everyone talked about him & j even when they believed he was the traitor—all of it just really drives home how he gives all of himself to someone when he decides to. if someone’s his person then he’ll do whatever it takes for them (if you’re not, tho? ur lucky if u even get a look in ur direction)
he’s also very competent. he was probably brought up as a pampered heir, with access to all the resources his little heart desired, so coupled w his innate ability/potential/aptitude, it becomes a deadly combination. he uses logic to work through things, prides himself on his intelligence, and probably wouldn’t like hanging out with people who can’t atleast match him in some sense (so laziness/incompetence grates badly).
as a corollary, he’s also pretty arrogant, in that casual sense that old money people are ykwim? he’s had the world on a silver platter his entire life, and even when he’s cut off from it, it’s still a part of him. there’s also the fact that he’s got a lot going for him—looks, power, smarts wise—and that just adds to it. so it can be off putting or it can be hot or both, but he has a superiority complex and he doesn’t exactly hide it. less interaction with the plebs, the better for him.
irreverence and dark humor!!! sirius copes using morbid jokes and making people uncomfortable; he has slight control issues and this way, he makes sure everyone’s always on their toes. it’s also like,,,a way to kind of gauge how others will react to him based on how they deal w his humor. bc he’s not sunshine and roses, right? and he doesn’t want anyone treating him like it or expecting him to be so. and in a way, their reactions to his jokes correlated to their degree of acceptance for him.
intense. when it comes to things he likes, he’s very passionate about it, almost with a single minded focus. and it can get A Lot. he operates in a lot of extremes, right? so either 0 or 100 and this comes across in the way he interacts with people, the level of interest he shows to things, and how much effort he puts in, if it’s His Thing, then he won’t leave a stone unturned but if he doesn’t care? then he will not give a single shit
soooo, these are some of the things i very strongly believe in for sirius 🙈 tell me what u think? (and as always, @artemisia-black has some great metas on sirius’ character so i’d recommend checking those out for sure!)
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bunnihearted · 2 months
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🌙☁️🌌
#evenings and nights are always the worst for me#when i feel this lonely.... :(((#when you're alone the nights are the worst bc#u dont have anyone at all really.. and it gets so obvious at night#just .. the loneliness gets intensified#and i can compare bc#there was a period of time where i talked to someone everyday#and i looked forward to the nights and their messages and comforing goodnight messages#and so i know firsthand what big of a difference that makes#for years and years i've had these bad loneliness feelings tho.. so it's not smth new#but it gets harder and harder to deal with them. esp as the world outside is getting colder and crueler#and people only get more and more mean#plus when i do have smth wonderful that made me warm and happy and comforted that i dont have anymore#and can compare and know what im missing#it does get harder :c#i try to watch videos and think of other things but oh god this loneliness hurts so damn much i crumble underneath the weight of it#maybe life will get better dealing with it all if i have a stable income and an apartment with my pets#and go to work all day and come home too tired to feel lonely... idk?#im so scared i'll never find someone that i can be together with. bc i think im the kind of person who needs that#but im also so different and difficult and idk how and if it'll happen....#and how do i live with these heavy painful feelings of extreme loneliness ? idk :c#i try mindfulness too. and listening to music. and reading. and cuddling my pets#but im just a human. i want someone i love to hold me and fall asleep with them close to me.#i wanna lie in bed and talk to them abt anything bc between us it is a judgement free zone#despite what ppl say i am not weak for needing and wanting that. and being incredibly alone without it.#it's what i need and want but idk if i ever will and the thought of being stuck with this heavy loneliness all my life makes me wanna die#ok. peace out 😑✌️
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ratinthevoid · 6 months
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why did i believe i can ever come out to her
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cookiepwee · 4 months
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yeag so i had a breakdown and completely isolated myself yesterday lmao
idk what to do really i just need to share that i'm sad and i'm sorry
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spaghett-onaplate · 5 months
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it's literally not a good idea in any way shape or form but I want to get a second job in fast food
#it's not a good idea bc the wages are GARBAGE compared to retail#Macca's base rate for my age is less than half my sunday rate#and they don't get much beyond the base rate#whereas retail we have an incredible base rate AND more weekdays past 6pm and weekends (sat is the same as mon-fri 6pm#and sunday is significantly more)#and like yeah im not getting many shifts but if i were to ask for more I still wouldn't be able to work more than 4 hour shifts til july#bc my retail corporation is surprisingly ethical and extends the age limits by a lot#whereas my friend has a 7.5 half hour shift tomorrow AFTER school. on a week night 😁#which is actually horrifying and should nawwt be legal. thats school 9-3 (+20 min) then work 4-11:30 btw#like i should just wait til my birthday in july n ask for more shifts in retail but i want to try fast food#even though the pay is incredibly ridiculously bad (<10 AUD) (yes our adult minimum wage is a good ~23 but under 21 is a percentage of that#like the pay is so bad so i would earn the same or more doing wayy less hours than retail#but i kinda want to get the fast food experience bc it'll be more difficult to get hired as i age#bc i want to save up 20k for top surgery but at the rate im going it'll be difficult to have even thay#let alone savings after top surgery or money to get a car before#and as school gets more difficult it'll be harder to work more#so maybe i should just grind for a few months or til the end of the year then go back to retail exclusively?#and enjoy higher pay and some longer shifts?#but idkkk it's just such a dilemma bc i want more shifts than I'll get at retail but fast food pays so little#but i also really want the experience and to just try it out#im gonna. idk im gonna sit on it for a bit bc i want to get my legal name change sorted before i apply to any second jobs and that will#take a while#so i shall consider. draw up a timetable. write a pros and cons list#yes that sounds like a solid plan#whoop typo but im on mobile i meant 'wayy less hours IN retail'
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lairmadness · 1 year
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How about that Ogerpon
Please read the tags!
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(just some thoughts about things, I think its rather long so you don't have to read ❤️❤️)
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