#and ive been exited for it all week :D

[echo-loves-flowerboy]

Asphodels Part 1

Click for better quality

[sardonic-the-writer]

hey! do you have anything for Ricky Goldsworth perhaps? tnx! <3

Sure! I can give you some general headcanons on this prompt, bur I went for a more self indulgent one shot. Perhaps next time submit a scenario with details or something so that way I can cater to your needs!! Hope this is good enough :D <33

The year was 1922.

His name?

Ricky Goldsworth.

And the Dimond Bay bar just downtown of New Orleans finest restaurant was where he currently resided.

Ladies dressed in the finest reds and blues would pass by him on their night out on the town, eyes flicking him up and down before biting their lip and moving on. The most they would ever get in return was a slight tip of his hat and thin lipped smile, something their faces fell into a disgruntled look at. Not used to such a reaction I suppose.

Lights of various soft yellows and oranges illuminated everyone in an angelic sort of glow. Glasses from the bar he sat at glinted. Drunked laughter of men filled the air.

Ricky had no intention of ending up like the people around him, piss drunk and throwing themself over the lap of the opposite gender. And while yes, a small gin and tonic sat chilled in his hand, it was less for a night of spirits and more for courage. A courage he had been trying to scrape together for the past hour.

Ricky Goldsworth didn't get scared. Ricky Goldsworth didn't run away. Much less from the police and that idiot C.C Tinsley they had hired specifically to put a stop to his crimes. No. Ricky Goldsworth simply didn't get scared. That's it.

But there was always a first time for anything.

You had been situated at the only exit to the crowded bar for nearly fifty minutes now eyes scanning the crowd constantly. The only break you ever took in the diligent surveillance was to pull your partner, someone he was all too familiar with, away from the drinks.

The detective badge hidden poorly underneath your deep gray overcoat had only confirmed his suspicions. That and C.C Tinsley was loitering rather uncomfortably next to you; a dead giveaway of tonight's intentions.

If Ricky belived in god, he would have thanked them for the burly man next to him concealing any glimpse of his figure that your shrewd eyes might have caught.

Being tailed by the cities police was the last thing he had planned—or wanted—tonight. A fresh kill on the streets and morning newspaper was when he decided to lay low. Play it safe. Of course that never lasted long before his knife was bloodied again.

Right now he should be holed up in his apartment on the upper east side, tie loose around his neck and raven hair falling in his eyes as he wrote a letter full of fancy loops and letters to the police, teasing them about his identity. The highlight of his week, it was, sighning the note with an elaborate R.G.

The only shred of hope he was clinging to right now was his face.

They had no idea what he looked like.

"Oh come on (Y/n). I doubt our killer is here. It was just a hunch after all. Wouldn't kill us to have a drink or two."

"Not now Tinsely." You frowned, grabbing him yet again by the back of his vest to stop him wandering off. "I have a good feeling about this tip."

"You say that everytime." The tall man groaned back.

"Remind me who found that knife in the alley last week would you C.C?"

A reluctant sigh of 'you did' came back, your stony mask cracking in the slightest bit to chuckle at your friends antics.

It had been a bit exhausting to come back from one case just to be thrown into another much more gruesome one on the task force, but after hearing that C.C was highly involved in it you had warmed up to the opportunity almost immediately.

Not everyday you got to work with your one and only friend from the police academy after all. And you'd take whatever you could that wasn't the annual pizza night down on 45 street.

"Cheer up partner. A half hour and we're off the clock. If you'd like I could handle your paper work back at the station for you tonight. Ive seen you eyeing that bar, and I'd be crazy to deny a stubborn man like you his poison of choice."

"You'd do that?" C.C perked up, his expression greatful yet somehow mischievous. "Geez (Y/n), I don't why they havnt put you on this case before. You're the best detective around this city, not to mention scary. Our killer probably already fled the city once he got sight of you."

"You're just saying that becuase I'm doing your papers tonight." You both smiled. "But I had to finish catching the arsonist down in Terrytown before I could get anymore assignments."

C.C flashed a smile down at you, continuing to make small talk after with the topic of new picture shows coming out soon as you listened, the search across the bar becoming less and less important with every passing minute.

At long last you looked down at your wrist watch to see the nights hour. Nearly ten past eleven.

"Alright bud. Times up. You go get that drink and I'll see you at the office tomorrow." Your voice was bright for the sake of C.C, but you couldn't dent the disappointment at your dead end on the lead.

"Thanks again (Y/n). But don't beat yourself up about tonight. If he was here we, mostly you, would have caught him by now." A hand ruffled your hair. You batted it away with a red face, sputtering at him that you were technically still an officer on duty in the public eye. He just let out a warm laugh before jogging off into the crowd for a drink, holding out a hand and yelling for the bartender like he was calling a cab.

You shook your head at the brunnettes actions with a fond smile, turning on your foot to head out into the cold. At least you would have, if not for the figure that threw you off your path with a soft collision.

His eyes were a deep brown, almost a honey color, and his hair styled in curly black ringlets that cascaded down artistically.

"Sorry sir. I hope you weren't too startled." A dusting of your shoulders and the person you'd bumped into was commenced, a common gesture for that era. "Again terribly sorry. Have a nice night mister." Was all you said to Rickys alert figure, nodding with a polite smile and genuine friendliness. You completely missed the way all the fear drained from his expression once you had brushed off the shoulder of his jacket without as much as a second thought.

Instead now it was replaced with something else. Something that, even if you had asked Ricky what it was, he wouldn't be able to say.

He watched you go, fading into the dark soupy mist outside and on the side of the street.

Oh things would be a lot more interesting from here on out. That he knew for sure.

And Ricky think he would come to like this new development.

[gazingatthevoid]

journal entry

lost souls scenes:

scene i

greeting a long lost friend, a loved one who I havent seen in many years, but everything is so simple. We have a lot of history; most things must remain unsaid.

friend/lover/caregiver: that’s our exit again, we keep passing it. me (the version from when I died, 2021): I know. friend/lovercaregiver: If you know then why are we still driving me (2021): oh my god i forgot! friend/lover/caregiver: lack of concern/ disinterested what did you forget? me (2021): I always keep a lucky cigarette in the glovebox, would you like to share? friend/lover/caregiver: no emotion, straight face, more disinterest. it is very hard to get attention or emotional reactions or reassurance.

im tired of feeling stuck, i feel stuck. a cigarette is nice, but it’s time for something bigger, a shift. something to grab my shoulders and shake me and ugh.

me (2021): i dont know, things seems dont seem so bad? i’m comfortable, are you comfortable? Why cant we both just be comfortable and stable and nothing changes? do i make you feel stuck? i can get out of the car right now if that’s what you want, like i will quite literally just jump out and walk away. voice is getting unnecessarily loud, and agitation and frustration starts to build in my chest.

*deep breath*

hmm..

i feel lost, like i’m not going somewhere, im not doing something i just feel empty and confused. i think that’s my way of coping with the relentless and overwhelming change and choas of just being alive.

*rhetorical* how much of our memory lingers after a loss? when is it useful? when it surfaces how can i savor it?

friend/lover/caregiver: you know we dont know each other well at all. i cant help you with these thoughts. please dont jump out of the car? why would you even say that..

me (2021): feeling like a dumb bitch.

me (2022)- character notes: she does not seem to know how to really sit with things, everything appears stressful and important to her. she tries to help people but it falls flat or is downright harmful, she fails to enjoy the beauty and joy in the world. for this reason: sex, drugs, desire, pleasures appeal strongly. she has a problem with following her whims, especially during moments of crisis

they are both still in the car, resigned to their fate, but restless

me (2013-2023): BOREDOM. I’m tired of the monotony. every car, sign, and light is blurring together for me, your company as well. i’m getting a migraine. it’s not that painful yet but i do feel it right behind my eyes, just sitting there, aching. i feel like it’s threatening to get worse, to hurt me. are you upset with me? ive been thinking about the things you said last week, im not sure if you remember.

friend/lover/caregiver: deep sighh i do not want to be here with you anymore. if i had any agency over the situation i would leave. do you understand that? I am only here with you because i have no other options.

scene iii

me (clinically depressed, addicted to nigotine and sex still, attempts to pray and fast and worship and organize. they do not come naturally, it is hard work. everyday is hard work).

me (non static, present, in motion): *lights cigarette and takes a drag nice and slow. *pause* friend/lover/caregiver: I would like a drag. me (non static, present, in motion): *silently hands the cigarette over while noticing the breathing, facial expression and other small details of the other person. these things are important to establish safety in any given moment. allegedly. friend/lover/caregiver: I always lvoe the open road. me (non static, present, in motion): cars are terrifying! friend/lover/caregiver: please dont interrupt me. I hate that. It makes me not want to talk to you. me (non static, present, in motion): attempting to regain composure and not get upset which would just make the situation worse. i got excited, but im listening, please continue friend/lover/caregiver: *loud sigh, deep breath* okay. me (non static, present, in motion): smiles with satisfaction, disaster was adverted. friend/lover/caregiver: I connect with the car, I feel it is an extension of myself, like an appendages that makes me powerful and extends my awareness. on the open road I can engage fully with this awareness without distraction, it calms me.

In a car, we are free, we can go anywhere we want. it’s this balance between wanting to go to leave, but being so at peace in the comfort of the car I never want to stop. and that’s true. I never want to stop, to disrupt the balance. change isnt really change if you’re moving between static places. It is, but the anxiety of it dissipates. that’s all i ever wanted really, to finally be still

[emotionalcharley]

rant

hi guys :) hope everybody's had a good week. just wanted to come on here and say somethings that i need to get off my chest. lifes been kinda sucking lately. i haven't been feeling happy lately and it sucks. and ive tried explaining how im feeling but no one understands- not even my best friends. which sucks because when i told them, they sounded so uninterested and it felt like they where kinda like ¨wtf¨. ive been having these horrible migraines on the right side of my temple that hurt to no worlds end. i dont know if its because im graduating soon and the boot is kinda nudging my butt saying ¨time to grow up!¨ but it hurts. ive been feeling so unmotivated and uninterested in certain things that use to interest me so much. i dont even feel motivated enough to get up and make myself something to eat. i just push it away and manipulate myself into thinking that im not hungry. i feel kinda pushed to the side lately. the only two people that really make me feel happy is these two girls in one of my classes. but i understand that not everybody is going to like me but i wish people gave me a chance to see that im pretty nice and funny. or so i think i am. i pride myself as sort of a comedian :D. back to the sadness thing, it started at the beginning of october and its been a pain. trust me i try to change and feel something other than weak and tired but my body just screams at me to go home and lay down. like today, i tried to keep my energy happy but i just ended up having a tear fest just as i exited the school doors. and one of my best friends didn't make it any better. she just came up to me and started telling me about how ive been mean to her this past week. and in all honestly i was like, what... this girl literally ignored me the day before when walking into one of our teachers class and so i took it as a hint to leave her alone. and the first thing she does when she sees me after me telling her about not feeling mentally okay is criticism for not treating her the way she wants to be treated :( it really hurt me because i thought the first thing she would do is hug me and tell me that its going to be okay and that im just overwhelmed by school but no. but i also understand that if i was ignored, i would feel hurt to but i didnt want to be around her because i already know how she is, shell start asking me and begging me to tell her if shes the reason im so down and start asking if she did something wrong and even if i where to tell her that she isnt the reason, she wont believe me, i already know. thats why i dont even- idk. but in my friendships i always feel like i have to be the one to reach out and tell them something because if i wouldn't then they wouldn't even know i exist. every morning i text the groupchat ¨goodmorning¨ with a smile and a nice message and i'd be lucky if i get one of them to heart it. i hate it. i feel like im so unimportant to them. and- i know this is stupid but they do this all the time, im always the last one to find out about everything. she tells our other best friend but they dont tell me until the last minute and it sucks because then i can never go because i dont have a ride. idk i guess its just againt the rules of the universe for a capricorn to ever talk about their feeling so i messed up on blurting out to them about my feelings and it all went kinda down hill. i miss being me. the me that was actually happy and excited to go to school and prepared for everything! now i feel like everything is weighting down on my shoulders and im so tired. im exhausted and honestly, i just want to sleep. and thats what im gonna go do right now! so, sorry for the long one but thats it for today. i still have a lot to spill so ill probably be back tomorrow for rant number two :) good night everybody

love, charlie <3

[reanimationstation]

Weekly whats goin on in the dnd campaign update ask!! :D

WELL. we havent actually played this week due to being busy with life and stuff BUT last session was still absolutely BATSHIT

SOOO. SAMMY FINALLY GOT MERGED WITH PROPHET. he is so much weirder (affectionate) but honestly i dont think everyone has noticed. he keeps on rolling really high on "keeping it together" when he is quietly trying to cope with double the traumatic memories he's used to. also hes a golden ink monster (which ive drawn a lot of). oops. once he rolls low more prophety traits will surface and then it'll be obvious that this is no longer the reflection of the past sam that everyone got used to

but in more WORLD SHATTERING news, the ink machine. it uhm. well for some backstory, sammy pretty regularly gets forced to make deals with it, be it to revive someone or to get someones soul from the machine. and the ink machine tends to use very vague wording. so in exchange for three people from the studio, it offered to unlock the exit door forever.

sammy took that deal.

and when he opened the door, everything was in the same style as the studio. uh. crap.

turns out during one of sammys very first few deals, his wording gave the ink machine power to access the outside world and tURN IT INTO AN EXTENSION OF ITSELF. THE OCEAN IS GOLDEN INK. GOLDEN INK IS FLAMMABLE.

so sammy now has to break that news to the found ones in the harbor :/ yikes. but hes planning on staying in the studio until things are sorted out and the world isnt in chaos because he doesnt really want to deal with the implications of a flammable ocean and literally everything else being studio-ified. things are going great

but ALSO since henry and linda are currently stuck in the ink machine their two kids have kinda been being watched by relatives for about a month (its been like 5 months in studio because of how time moves faster inside it). so sammy is planning on going to get them and bring them in the studio to watch them himself because he thinks that being inside the studio is safer than being outside while the world panics. he also needs to get one of the people he kidnapped's son since yk he has morals. (when sammy died the deal he made to get put back in his body was that he couldnt refuse any of the ink machine's orders SO its having him do a lot of bad stuff and he cant refuse otherwise people he's keeping alive with deals might die again :[ he's terrified of the ink machine rip)

back to the found ones harbor, hes organized a meeting to make a list of what people want from the outside world before they hunker down for a more permanent living situation. they're pretty self sustainable rn but people dont have phones and stuff so getting that would boost morale. he, bendy, norman, shawn, lacie, and maybe tom, are all gonna go out and get the stuff before the outside people start raiding walmarts and stuff out of panic. they r also gonna get an animal shelter's worth of pets to bring to the studio and keep them safe. maybe even a petco. also a lot of fish. we have canonized that norman really likes fish. its very cute. OH ALSO ALLISON IS PREGNANT SO THEY ARE GETTING BABY SUPPLIES

BUT YEAH A LOT HAS HAPPENED. im skipping a LOT of stuff that has happened since the last update and now (traveling through universes uncontrollably, dying a few more times, a terrible and evil forest full of nightmares, a handful of deals, gabriel dying and being brought back, etc) but thats the gist of it :]

[multifandomingmess]

The One That Got Away (Sonny Carisi x Daughter!Reader) Part 1/2

anonymous inquired:

Hii do you fanfics, imagines for SVU? If so can you do a Sonny x reader where you are his daughter and you try to kill yourself after being raped. The team finds out and hunts the rapist down. If you could make it middle length maybe? It’s ok if you can’t. If you can thank youuu

Trigger Warning(s): mentions of rape, description of rape, suicide attempt, self-harm, language, etc..

Reminder: Spoilers from recent episodes of SVU - so Carisi is ADA now. If you don't like spoilers, please watch/start on Season 22 beforehand. Thank you.

You could still feel the touch of him. How he threw you around like garbage. When you look down at your legs, you see reminders of him. That night was horrifying for you. However, you weren't surprised that you were targeted since you're the daughter of ADA Carisi.

Y/N Carisi - you were born on M/D/Y - having e/c eyes and h/c hair. Despite all that, you grew up near the SVU, so you knew the signs but you felt like you were stupid and deserved this. Like it was meant to happen. You haven't told anyone because you felt ashamed. You know (for a fact) that your dad will literally kill the guy - but you don't want him to risk his job for you.

(POV CHANGE - I/IM/ME/FIRST PERSON)

I came home from school and immediately went to my bedroom. My dad wasn't home yet so I just lay in my bed - and do what I've been doing. I just look at the wall and think. I think about the things I've done, the things I've wanted to do, the things I want to do, and the things that I wanted to do but was too scared to do so.

It's hard being an ADA's daughter because I've seen the threats he's gotten. People have cyberbullied me a lot, which isn't a surprise, but it's still not pleasant. Through my dad, I've felt unsafe because of threats I received - and some of the things that have been done to me.

A few weeks ago, I was raped after my dad won a case. The convicted man's family, who is apart of a mafia, seemed to convey hatred against him. I'm not sure if it's one of them that raped me but I just want to block it out. I want to forget it ever happened but it's not that easy. The past few days have been even harder because the thoughts have gotten worse. My dad knows I struggle with my mental health, in general, but he doesn't know why it's worsened lately. He doesn't know that I've started self-harming again.

It's hard to be alone with all these thoughts - because it's getting harder. I look at the belt nearby and place my hand against the leather. I just want this pain to be gone.

(HOURS LATER; 3RD PERSON POV)

Sonny finally arrived home. He had been trying to get a hold of Y/N but he had no luck. He opened the front door to a silent apartment. He was used to the silence but he felt a different feeling - like something was - like a gut instinct. He knew something was up.

He began to call Y/N's name, "Y/N! Are you home?" Silence. Just pure silence. He looked around the apartment and noticed her backpack on the kitchen counter - so she was home.

He went down the hallway and saw her bedroom door barely shut. He opened the door and he felt his stomach turn. Y/N was hanging from a belt. He rushed to her and unbuckled the belt carefully, so she would fall down, but he grabbed her in time. She placed her on the floor and felt for a pulse. It was weak but she had a pulse.

He took his phone out and dialed 911, before putting the speakerphone on and placing it on the ground. He immediately began chest compressions.

"911, what is your emergency?"

"This is ADA Sonny Carisi of Manhattan. I just came home to my daughter who attempted suicide. Please, send some paramedics and SVU here."

He continued the CPR, "Are there signs of sexual abuse?"

"I don't know but something isn't right. I'm doing CPR right now. Her pulse is weak. Please, hurry."

"Yes sir, just keep doing what you're doing. They're on their way."

Sonny continued to do the compressions, hoping she'd wake up, but she was still unconscious.

"Come on, baby..." He mumbled under his breath, as he continued the compressions.

Minutes went by and the paramedics arrived, along with SVU. They rushed into the house and Sonny stood by, as they began to take her vitals and placed her on a stretcher. Sonny felt like his whole world was turning upside down.

Olivia rushed in there, along with Amanda. "Sonny, what happened?"

"I came home to check on her because she wasn't answering her phone, so when I got here - something felt off and went to her room and found her like this..." He explained, trying to contain his emotions.

"Do you think she was raped?" Amanda questioned, causing Sonny to look down to the ground.

"I don't know but she hasn't been suicidal... I've been with her and something isn't right about this."

Olivia watched them take her out on the stretcher, noticing scratches on her arms, before sighing. Sonny was right. Something was wrong.

Hours had passed and Y/N awoke in a hospital bed, looking around to see her dad and some of his friends. "Dad?"

Sonny immediately rushed to his daughter's side and gave a kiss on her forehead. "How are you, sweetheart?"

She remembered what she did and regret filled her eyes. She placed her palms over her eyes and shook her head. "I'm so sorry, dad..."

"You have nothing to be sorry about, Y/N." Sonny assurred but she shook her head, throwing her hands down on the bed.

"I do, I really do, Dad." Y/N sobbed out, tears beginning to flow down her cheeks. Sonny looked at her and grabbed her hand, rubbing the back of her hand gently.

"Honey, why are you sorry?" She began to tug at the IV, trying to take it out. Machines began to beep uncontrollably, "You're safe, Y/N!"

"Dad, you're gonna kill me..." She yelled out in hysterics, nurses beginning to barge in.

"Sedate her!" One of the nurses shouted. Sonny was forced to get out of the room as he watched her fight off nurses.

"What happened to my babygirl?"

"Sonny..." Olivia began as she placed a hand on his back. "I think she's been raped or assaulted."

Sonny felt himself becoming numb and in shock. Olivia had it wrong, or did she? It would make a lot of sense, though. The huge question was why? Why would someone hurt his babygirl? That question ran through his mind.

Hours passed by and Sonny anxiously paced the halls of the hospital. Olivia had gone in there to talk with Y/N. Sonny knew he couldn't do it and just knew that she wouldn't talk to him about it. Not yet, at least.

"It's going to be okay, Carisi..." Amanda reassured, standing up after sitting in the chair for some time. "We will figure this all out but you need to sit down, you'll make yourself sick."

"I already feel sick and disgusted. I should've known something was off. I should've taken off work when her behavior started changing but I thought it was just teenage things. We've all gone through it..."

Amanda tightened her lips, biting the inside of her cheek. It was really unfortunate. The creak from the hospital room's door interrupted the two. Olivia came out with a clipboard, approaching Sonny at once. "I need you to sit down, Sonny..."

Sonny knew exactly what Olivia was going to say. Either way, nothing would stop the anger evolving inside of him. He didn't protect his daughter like he was always promised. He was already blaming himself.

"She was raped about a week ago. His identity is unknown but she said he had green eyes, black hair, pale skin, and dressed very neatly - but she mentioned that he said it was a warning for you..."

Sonny curled his eyebrows together, bringing eye contact with Olivia. He began to shook his head, grabbing the sides of his face, burying his face into his lap. "No..."

"She said he supposedly was a relative of a case you beat recently."

Carisi pounded his fist into his legs, screaming out, "Damn it!"

He jumped to his feet immediately, rushing toward the exit of the building, anger overcoming him.

"Sonny, you can't pursue this case!" Olivia yelled through the distance. "I have the authority to arrest you and I don't want to do that..."

He stopped in his tracks, turning to her. "You won't let me pursue this but you pursued your buddy Stabler's wife's case..."

"Excuse me?"

"If you can help your old partner out, then you can have my back on this... Either way, I have a feeling on who this is, and no one's stopping me - not even you."

With that, Carisi rushed out of the hospital building, leaving Olivia speechless. She looked at Amanda and audibly sighed.

Carisi got home and skimmed through each case file thoroughly, especially recent cases.

Brown v. Powell

New York State v. Senator Graham

Little v. Brewster

Jackson v. Gallagher

As he went past the Jackson v. Gallagher file, he pulled up the list of relatives for the Gallagher case (the opposing side). He saw Michael Gallagher. He was 35 and had all the features his daughter reportedly claimed. He clenched his hands into fists for a moment before hearing the doorbell ring. He snapped out of it and went to open the door.

In the pouring rain, Olivia stood there. Carisi found himself surprised but grateful.

"I'm sorry..." She gently apologized as she dug her hands into the pockets of her trenchcoat.

"We don't have time for that. I think I found a suspect..."

Olivia widened her eyes a bit as he led her to his office. He began to explain the case to her, which was complicated but expressed how one of the relatives had been sending threats since the trial completed. In which, we have Michael Gallagher.

"This is good... He looks just like the guy she described. This is a good sign, Sonny." Olivia admitted as she pulled out her phone. "I'm going to have them test Y/Ns DNA samples and possibly other DNA matches as soon as they can."

"Thank you, Liv."

She flashed a sly smile at him before she headed out. However, Sonny wouldn't be sleeping anytime soon, so the night would be interesting.

[tough-girl9]

The Stars To Hold Our Destiny

Summary:  As the brand-new Enterprise-D prepares for its first mission, Captain Picard has a conversation with his new second officer about shift schedules, William Shakespeare, and humanity. "It is not in the stars to hold our destiny, but in ourselves."

Also posted on FFN and AO3

Captain Jean-Luc Picard took an absent sip of earl grey and frowned thoughtfully at the information displaying on his desktop monitor. Behind him, diluted light filtered through the window from Starbase 96 where the Enterprise was currently docked. Tomorrow, they would begin the journey to Farpoint Station, where they were set to rendezvous with the remainder of the assigned crew. On the surface, it seemed like an easy enough mission, but Picard was not convinced it was as simple as it initially appeared. He took another sip and opened the file on Deneb IV and the limited information that Starfleet had provided about the Bandi and their mysterious construction methods.

His perusal was interrupted by a soft chirp from his Ready Room door. "Come in," he called curtly without looking away from the monitor.

The door slid open with a soft hiss, and Picard looked up to find his second officer standing in the doorway. Picard set down his cup of tea. "Ah, Mr. Data, what can I do for you?"

The android approached, stopping directly in front of the desk with a PADD in his hand. "Sir, I have been reviewing my shift assignments for the next two weeks and I believe I have discovered several errors in my schedule."

Picard frowned as he took the PADD, aware of Data's strange, golden stare as he viewed the schedule that he had written up for his senior officers the previous day. Though it was odd, he had little reason to doubt that Data was correct. Yesterday, he'd seen the android at one of the science stations, the screen displaying information at a speed that rendered it nothing but a blur to Picard's human eyes. Data's record files had noted his exceptional abilities to process and analyze information with a speed and accuracy that no organic species could hope to achieve. If there was an error, Data was definitely the one most likely to find it.

No immediate errors presented themselves however as Picard examined Data's duties. It was a standard schedule, splitting Data's time between operations, science, and engineering. The only non-standard element was a higher assignment of night shifts than normal, due to Data's lack of need for sleep. However, Picard had explicitly discussed that point with Data himself yesterday afternoon, and the android had expressed no concern at being assigned the night shift more regularly than his co-workers.

With a brief shake of his head, Picard held the PADD back out to Data. "I'm afraid I don't see anything amiss with your schedule, Mr. Data. What is it exactly that concerns you?"

"Sir, I cannot seem to locate my assigned duties during these shifts." The android pointed to several of the shift slots on the PADD screen.

Picard's frown deepened a little. "Those are your off shifts, Mr. Data."

"Off shifts, Sir?"

Picard set the PADD down and leaned forward. "Yes, Mr. Data, your off shifts. The shifts during which you are not on duty."

"Ah," Data said, his brow lifting. But then he frowned slightly. "Sir, you are aware that I do not require sleep, food, or personal maintenance. Nor do I have the capability of growing bored. I can easily perform self system diagnostics while performing other duties. It would be reasonable for you, Sir, to provide me with assignments during all shifts."

"No, Mr. Data, it would not be reasonable." Data opened his mouth as if to say something, but Picard cut him off, gesturing to the chair across the desk from himself. "Please sit."

The android obeyed immediately and Picard leaned further forward in his own chair, resting his arms on the edge of his desk, as he fixed Data with a stern expression. "Data, you are a Starfleet officer and a valued member of this crew. Simple because you are physically capable of working non-stop does not mean that it is correct to require you to do so. Not only would it be a violation of Starfleet work regulations, but frankly, it would be morally questionable at best. You may not be human, but you deserve the same benefits as your human co-workers."

Data was quiet for a few seconds, his gaze lowered as he seemed to process what Picard had just said. Then his golden eyes flickered back up to meet Picard's. "But what should I do when I am not assigned on duty?"

Picard's eyebrows rose in disbelief. "Don't you have hobbies, Mr. Data? Personal interests and pursuits?"

"No, Sir."

Picard blew his cheeks out, glanced over at Livingston swimming lazy circles in his tank, then looked back at his second officer. "Well then, do you have any goals, any dreams, anything you want to accomplish, anything you want to explore?"

"I wish to be the best Starfleet officer I am capable of being," Data answered. When Picard made a slight harrumph in his throat, the android quickly continued. "However." He paused and his steady, emotionless gaze wavered for a split second as he hesitated. "However," he repeated and continued, his voice soft, "I have also always had a desire to understand humanity, and, if possible, to one day become human myself."

Picard had only met Data slightly over twenty-four hours ago, and the android's impassive face and eyes made him hard to read, but there was something about the way Data had hesitated before his admission, along with the way he was now staring at Picard even more intently, as if searching for a reaction from his captain, that gave Picard the sneaking suspicion that Data had been mocked in the past upon revealing this particular dream.

Something hard settled in Picard's chest. His hand balled into a fist on the desk as he leaned further forward, making sure he had Data's full attention, his voice stern. "Data, aboard the Trieste, were you required to work every shift?"

There was another slight hesitation from Data. Then he said softly, "Yes, Sir, I was. However, I was willing to do so. As I have said, it seemed reasonable to me to increase the productivity aboard the Trieste by utilizing my extraordinary abilities."

"Whether or not you were willing does not matter," Picard said firmly. "They took advantage of you, Data, and violated several Starfleet work regulations by doing so." Data opened his mouth, but Picard raised his hand. "And yes, I realize you are a unique situation, but that still does not make it right. The work regulations apply to all Federation species, and while you may be unique, you are still a living being with the same rights as anyone else aboard a starship."

His voice became low and earnest. "You say you wish to understand humans and to grow in your own humanity. Well, use your off duty times to do just that. Talk to your fellow crewmates, make friends, visit the holodeck, find things you enjoy doing. I don't know how possible your dream is, Data, but if it is possible in even the slightest degree, that is how you will achieve it, not by running scans and data analysis every hour of the day and night."

His gaze softened minutely. "Do you understand, Mr. Data?"

Data nodded. "Yes, Sir, I believe I do." He stood and gave Picard another polite nod of acknowledgement then turned back towards the door, clearly having calculated that the conversation was over.

For a moment, Picard thought it was as well. Then, almost to his own surprise, he found himself standing. "Mr. Data."

The android turned back towards him, eyebrows arched in a silent question.

Picard walked out from behind his desk and to his bookshelf. For a second, he skimmed over the row of books before he found the one he wanted and pulled it off the shelf. He smiled faintly, running his fingers over the brown leather cover and the engraved title on the front. Then he turned back to his second officer.

"This was given to me by one of my professors at Starfleet Academy. It's one of my favorite books and most valued possessions. I'd like to give it to you, Data."

Data took the book gently and examined the title. "Selected Works of William Shakespeare," he read.

Picard smiled. "One of the greatest playwrights and poets of Earth. You want to understand humanity, Data, well look no further. You'll find it all in there. Greed, Ambition, Despair, but also Hope, Humor, Love. The entire stage of the human condition."

Data looked up from the book. "Thank you, Sir."

"Read it," Picard continued. "But, not the way you usually read things. Take your time with it, think about it, think about yourself. And if you like, I'd be happy to discuss each piece with you and talk about what you discover."

"Yes, Sir. I would like that very much, Sir."

Picard watched Data exit the Ready Room, until the doors slid back closed and he was left alone once again. He took a sip of his tea, still gazing at the door, then turned back to his desktop monitor. The file about Deneb IV was still on the screen, but instead of continuing with the information for the mission, he opened a new screen.

Picard spent the next hour writing a very sternly-worded report to the work regulations department at Starfleet.

[motorcitizens]

ive never seen anywhere to watch motorcity with subs? so i went looking and found transcripts of most of the early mc episodes (available in a reply so tumblr doesnt kill the post) but theyre missing a few towards the end. i decided on my fourth rewatch that id transcribe episode 9! whether youre a hard of hearing fan or just want the reference, here you go! let me know if the initials are annoying, ill edit them out.

-I got you with the slash!

-Nuh-uh!

-You first.

-Why me?

-Cuz you're dead anyway.

-There's nothing down here!

-Philip? S- stop fooling around, man. I- I can hear you down there.

-Aah!

[theme]

-The last time I bought anything from you, it took me a week to fumigate the kitchen!

-Okay, the reshcaps were a mistake, you're right about that. But today, I have something extra special...

D- ...then she says, 'that's why I can't eat the sandwich!'

[all laugh]

C- Wait, wait, I got one. Where does a snowman keep his money? In a snow bank! Eh? Get it? Come on, it's funny!

Th- We're searching for the Vanquisher, king of the realm?

T- Oh. I think they're talking about me.

M- Yeah, I have no idea who you're-

Th- There he is!

Burners- Chuck?!

T- [laughter]

R- Hey! You dare insult Lord Vanquisher? I should take your tongue and feed it to the birds.

T- Uh, you can't do that. I need my tongue.

C- Release him, Darkslayer.

R- ... Fortune smiles upon you today.

M- So, Chuck, you wanna introduce us to your... friends?

C- Guys, allow me to present: Thurman the Magnificent, and Ruby the Darkslayer!

Th: We are knights of the kingdom of Raymanthia.

C- It's called LARPing! [...] Live action role-playing? [...] Okay, I have a life outside of the Burners, you know!

D- Sure doesn't look like it.

T- Oh! I get it! Ahahaha!

Th- My Lord, a situation has arisen. The oracle awaits.

O- As you requested, Sam and Phillip were dispatched on a scouting mission early this morning. But we have not heard from them for many hours.

M- What do you mean you haven't heard from them?

O- I fear, Lord Vanquisher, they have gotten lost on the outskirts of the realm.

T- Texas is confused. Okay, now is this part of your little game or is this real?

D- We're standing behind some dude's van who calls himself the oracle. What do you think?

O- I demand silence!

J- I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm with Texas on this one.

O- Chuck! Make em stop.

C- Wait. Is this part of the game?

Th- No. Sam and Philip are really missing.

M- So, this is for real?

O- We need your help.

C- I vow to find our wayward kinsmen.

C- Guys, this is LARPing!

T- Woah. That's it?

C- Each weekend, teams battle for control of the realm. The rules are simple: First, once you step onto the field of battle, you must remain in character. Second, if you must be vanquished: do so with honor. It's neat, ain't it?!

J- The game's already started?

R- If by 'game' you mean a ferocious battle to the death for the crown of Raymanthia, then yes.

O- But we can't win unless we find our friends.

[at the same time]

C- I say we split up.

M- Let's split up.

M- No disrespect! Chuck- uh, I mean, Lord Chuck. What do you think we should do?

C- Ahem! If we split up, we'll cover more ground!

O/Th/R- As you say, Lord Vanquisher.

C- Okay guys. We'll check the warehouse near the old Renaissance center, you guys check the battlefield.

Th- I dunno where that is. Can somebody else drive?

M- So, King Chuck. How'd you win your crown?

O- It happened many weekends ago... Chuck stood as freedom's last hope against Mad Dog the Conqueror. If he were to fall, darkness would reign for yet another long weekend. Mad Dog summoned his dragon to finish off the Vanquisher once and for all, but fate had different plans. It was totally awesome!

C- Naw, it wasn't... that awesome.

D- Little dudes!

J- Sam! Phillip?

D- Where are you?

Guy- Huzzah!

R- Leave this to me!

Guy- The bards shall sing of this day... the day the Darkslayer fell!

R- Someone shall fall on this day... but it shall not be me.

[fighting noises]

Guy- Aha! Tsk, tsk. You've lost your sword!

T- hyah!

R- What are you doing! I had him right where I wanted him!

Guy- You're not playing by the rules.

T- These are Texas rules! [karate noises] Now. We need you to answer some questions.

D- We're looking for two missing kids, Sam and Phillip. Have you seen them?

Guy- I'd rather die a thousand deaths than help the likes of you.

J- Ahem! Forgive us, my liege, but we are but humble squires in search of our kinsmen. Can you help us?

Guy- I've never been one to refuse a lady, certainly not one as ravishing as you. Saw your kinsmen five hours ago, approaching the Dungeon of Anguish.

D- Neat trick.

Th- We're never gonna find them in time. Then the stupid Bardonians are gonna win, think they're all cool with their fancy mustaches.

C- Hey. Buck up there, camper! People said we'd never win the Battle Royale last Fall, but we did. Our friends are out there, and we'll find em! We just gotta keep-

M- Uh, sorry. Dutch just called. Your friends were seen someplace called the Dungeon Anguish?

Th- It's actually the Dungeon of Anguish.

C- It's, uh. Well, it's actually just in the basement right here.

C- Wah, ah! Get it off me, get it off me!

Th- This isn't part of the game!

M- Yeah, well, neither is this!

R- That was. Incredible!

D- What were those things?

M- Don't know. But I'm betting they have something to do with our missing friends. We have to move. [LARPers kneel] Uh, come on. Get up, guys, we don't have time for this.

O- From this day forth, you shall be known as "Mike, the Smiling Dragon."

Th- You just got a great name. Jealous!

C- For saving my life on the field of battle, I owe you a debt of life.

M- That's... really not necessary.

O- Actually, it's totally necessary. The king of the realm cannot rule while carrying a debt of life.

C- As such, I give the crown to the Smiling Dragon!

M- No. No, Please, look, I can't, I just- I was-

C- Mikey, you gotta!

J- Hey guys, check this out! I've never seen that symbol before.

D- That's really old.

M- Way before my time. Maybe Jacob can help.

Th- What if those... things have Sam and Phillip?

R- Never fear. We have the Smiling Dragon. As long as he's our king, we can't lose. Did you see his moves? They were just so- so-!

M- You okay, buddy? Look, if it's about what happened back there, I'm sorry man. I was just trying to help.

C- It's not that. It's just-

M- Just what?

C- Look, I tripped, okay?

M- Um... If that's some kind of LARPer slang, I have no idea what it means.

C- The story you heard. About how I earned my crown? That's not how it really... went down. It was my first real battle. I'd never held a real lance before. I was still getting my balance when Lord Mad Dog summoned his dragon... I ran forward but... I tripped. The lance fell and hit him by accident! I won my crown with a lie. Hey... it's better that you're king now. I was never fit for the post. I've been king for 48 consecutive weekends, and-

M- 48? Woah, you do play this game a lot.

C- Yeah, but... it took less than an hour of LARPing with you for the others to see me for what I truly am... a follower.

M- Hey, a follower couldn't have led his team to 48 consecutive victories. You can't fake that!

C- Mikey... Look, I appreciate your support but we both know I'm no leader. Not when I'm a Burner and not even when I'm here, playing make believe.

M- Here. Take the pin back.

C- You can't just give it to me! The only way I can get it back is to earn it by saving your life. And let's be honest. That ain't gonna happen.

Th- Never seen that tunnel before. You aren't planning on taking us down there, are you?

R- Well I'm going in!

Th- Do you know how much trouble I'll get in if my mom finds out I went down some crazy dark tunnel looking for killer robots?!

O- He's not joking. His mom is terrifying.

M- They're right. This isn't a game anymore. Texas will stay up here and keep you safe while we go get your friends.

T- What! Wait, why me?

M- Because you're the bravest warrior we've got.

T- Yeah, that's true, but come on! Don't leave me with the nerds!

D- What is this place?

O- Booyah! Mutant wolverine. I win!

Th- I could show you how to use that.

T- Save it. Not interested.

O- Why not? You're really good.

T- You really think so?

Th- Here, watch.

T- Hyah! Huh?

T- Mike, Julie! Incoming! We got trouble!

Th- Come on, I just got this!

O- Your mom is gonna be so mad.

J- This isn't working!

M- I'm open to suggestions!

R- A wizard!

Ja- Applesauce!

J- Jacob?

R- Aww!

Bot- The creator has returned!

M- Uh, Jacob? Care to fill us in?

Ja- It started back when Kane and I were partners- before there even was a Deluxe! I was designing our first ever Utility Bot. Its purpose was to make life in Detroit easier and safer. I equipped it with a new AI that would allow the bot to anticipate human commands, but I was the only one the bot seemed to listen to. But if it were ever to escape the lab, there's no telling the danger it could pose. I begged Kane to shut the program down! I always thought he did.

Bot: It began soon after you left us. Kane retrained us! We were instructed to capture enemies of the public and bring them back to Kane's new creation, an Interrogator. But the humans could not control it. Kane sealed the lab. Our new master told us every human was out to destroy us. As such, every human became our enemy. Disloyalty was severely punished. So we waited, until this door finally opened.

M- Our friends went missing this morning. Have you seen them?

Bot- Of course. We took them per our master's instructions.

J- We need to get them back!

[roar]

Bot- Our master has awoken. If he discovers you here with us, he will destroy us.

M- Get the LARPers out of here!

C- I'm not leaving you guys!

R- Our place is here, with our King!

M- This isn't a game! Get your friends to safety.

C- Let's move!

D- Come on!

J- Look out!

[rubble collapses the door]

T- Mike!

D- Julie!

Both- Jacob!

D- We'll never move this stuff by ourselves!

T- Says who?

Th- What do we do?

C- I know a way to get through there! But I will require your van.

Ja- There used to be another exit!

J- Hey, look at this!

M- The kids have to be in one of those rooms. If we can find a way past that thing we can rescue them and get the heck out of here! Think you can buy us some time?

J- Do you even have to ask? Hey, ugly! Over here!

M- Sam! Phillip! Climb up here!

S- You're the new king of the realm?

M- You bet your butt I am. Lord Smiling Dragon, at your service. Now get up that rope, squire!

T- Okay, I admit. It's pretty cool.

C- But is it possible?

D- Sure. But there's no way the three of us can build it fast enough.

C- What if they helped?

D- I know you don't mean the little lunatics that just tried to kill us!

Bot- We cannot get involved. If our master were to find out-

C- He's not your master! You are in Raymanthia. And in Raymanthia, every man- or... freaky little Utiliton- is free! Free to stand up for yourselves. Free to fight back! And free to live! Our friends are down there, and I swear to you on the steel of my blade that even if I have to slay the beast itself, we! will! bring them back!

[utilitons cheering]

T- hwah! Nah, see, this ain't nerdy. This is a level 25 battle ax, okay? Twenty five. Think about it.

Ja- Maybe there wasn't another exit?

M- Stay here!

M- Way to go, Chuck!

S&P- The Vanquisher!

T- Make way for Texas!

C- The beast is absorbing the blasts!

[mike gets got]

C- Mike!

C- Drive! and when I say stop, stop fast! ...STOP!

M- Ha, oh yeah!

M- For saving my life on the field of battle, I owe you my life. My steel is yours to command, since a king cannot carry... I forget how the rest of it goes, here! All hail King Chuck, the Vanquisher!

R- This was the coolest game ever!

M- ... the game. Your win streak. You guys have to go defend your crown!

Th- We'll never be able to muster an attack in time.

T- What if we help.

M- We're yours to command, Lord Vanquisher.

C- For the glory of the realm!

[all yell]

[diyunho]

The Joker x Reader - “What Death Tastes Like” Part 3

Scarecrow’s daughter might be only 22, yet the terminal lung cancer she was diagnosed with six months ago didn’t discriminate against her age; the young woman didn’t show worrisome symptoms until it was too late. Y/N always had a fascination for the much older King of Gotham and despite the consequences, maybe it’s finally time to do something about it.

Part 1      Part 2       Part 4       Part 5

You’re done sampling the food that J brought over, quite annoyed he lied about the crepes; it was probably the only reason why you opened the door for him. Or maybe it was a different motive that you don’t like to think of because… what’s the point anyway?

“Crane said he added a new ingredient to your capsules,” The Joker brings it up. “I have no idea how he was able to get Cromyxillium since it’s just in experimental phase; I suppose he has awesome connections,” your guest chews one last bite of cashew salad.

“I know, he texted me but I didn’t answer back… I’m mad at him… I’m mad at everything these days,“ you admit and The King of Gotham piles up the empty styrofoam boxes, calculating how much money Scarecrow spent on a product that might be able to improve your condition.

Y/N watches him absent minded, too preoccupied with her problems to realize The King of Gotham is attentive to her words.

“I used to help my dad develop my remedy, still nothing works and he entirely immersed himself in this ridiculous task of saving me from terminal cancer. He ignored Evelyn for weeks until she left: she understood what he was doing up to a certain level; when it became an obsession…” and you sigh, aggravated by your father’s stubbornness. “I told him he has to patch up their relationship; I don’t him to be all alone after I’m gone…” you sulk and J grabs the containers, dumping them in the trashcan near the table.

“Yeah, Crane will probably be very lonely without you…” and J stops his innuendo when he comprehends how it sounds. “On a positive note,” The Clown Prince of Crime stretches, “I’m actually here to ensure you’re ok taking the capsules containing the new ingredient. Your father asked me to and I am notorious for being this…this selfless person ready to offer my services,” J over exaggerates his ability to sympathize with your situation. “He also warned me not to try anything funny. I don’t understand why I’m not allowed to share any of my funny jokes; doesn’t make any sense,” the distorted interpretation of your parent’s threat almost prompts Y/N’s smile.

“You probably pushed for this visit, taking advantage of the fact that me and my dad had a fight, hm?” you bluntly describe the truth and J can’t defend his absurd statements because your cell phone starts ringing; you glare at the screen, debating if you should answer or not.

“Is that him?” The Joker inquires and you nod a yes while deciding to accept Scarecrow’s call.

“Hello…” you sneak out on the patio as J figures he should walk to his car in order to retrieve the duffel bag fixed in advance for his sleepover.

*****************

Your conversation lasted for about 20 minutes thus The Joker jumped in the shower lacking any type of permission from Y/N; perhaps it could be the reason for your abrupt intrusion in the cozy bathroom.

“Can I take a shower with you?” he hears your question and for once J is uncertain of his reply, yet he is not the kind of person to show reluctance no matter the context.

“It’s your place, isn’t it?” he grumbles and distinguishes your silhouette beyond the steamy glass panels quickly stripping your clothes.

The Joker continues to scrub his skin, undisturbed by your request: he simply doesn’t care if you join him or not.

“I’m using your stuff,” J announces and your arms suddenly hug him from behind.

“You can use whatever you want,” your lips kiss the dragon tattoo on his back a couple of times and he doesn’t even turn around to peek.

“I gotta wash my hair,” he mutters and you brush your lips against his shoulder, sweetly offering:

“I can wash it for you.”

“I got it!” Y/N’s demand is cut off immediately; you’re so humiliated by his lack of interest you curse the dumb choice of being so straightforward: it’s not the first time he shows zero attraction towards his daughter’s best friend.

Your arms release the embrace and The Joker reprises his important chore while hearing you fumbling with toiletry items: you are finishing off your routine at an increased speed, willing to exit out of there as soon as possible.

A few minutes of silence, then The Clown Prince of Crime finally pronounces an insolent remark:

“I hope you saw a naked man before, Y/N! I don’t wanna be accused of traumatizing you. If it really makes you feel better, you can wash my hair.”

No smarty pants attitude rendered upon him and J gazes where you stood only to notice you’re gone: after quietly tiptoeing out of the shower, Y/N took her medications and prepared for the night ahead; she plans for J to sleep in the second bedroom at the small cabin, thus she will spend the night on the couch in the living room, watching TV until she’ll doze off.

“Miss Crane,” The Joker emerges from the bathroom in a t-shirt and shorts. “Are we cuddling on that couch or do we have further arrangements?”

“Spare bedroom,” you grouchily mumble, getting comfortable under the blanket.

“I thought we’re cuddling buddies,” he pretends to be offended at your affirmation mostly since pushing the limit is encoded in his wretched DNA.

“We’re not cuddling buddies!”  

“My bad,” he grins. “I guess I was misled by your actions at the mansion.”

He has such a nerve bringing that up!

“I’m not the type of person to force myself on women,” The Joker innocently informs, “but can I watch TV with you? I’ll camp on the floor by the sofa which is my way to hint I need a bunch of soft blankets to pile up so I won’t break my back. I mean, it’s not very nice of you to deny me access on the couch; must I remind you I granted you free passage in my bed when you asked for it?”

“Are you for reals?!” an increasingly fuming Y/N shrieks slowly rolls out of her relaxing nest. “You were horrible to me and then tried to make it better just because you worried I’d tell Emma or my father! Well, rest assured: I’m not a snitch! You truly don’t have to extend your good will to such lengths on my account! It’s not necessary, ok?! You don’t have to drive here to bring my capsules, you don’t have to bring me food. You don’t have to do anything!!”

“Watch your tone!” J growls, displeased with your feisty attitude. “Do I have to remind you who barged into my privacy to take a peek at me naked?”

Your eyes are big at his derogatory insinuation: he’s playing stupid regarding the incident.

“I barged into your privacy?!” you shout, aggravated. “How can…”

“Umm…” The Joker interrupts, “…your nose is bleeding.”

You didn’t even detect the blood trickling down your skin and you touch it, confused. The King of Gotham watches you a few hesitant steps before you unexpectedly collapse to the ground. “Hey!” his voice echoes in and out. “Hey what’s wrong?... … Can you hear me?”

There’s this high pitch taking over your mind and you can barely discern bits and pieces of a conversation J is carrying with your father. You’re not even aware you’re in a moving vehicle, that’s how much you lost grip on reality.

“What’s in for me if I bring her over, huh?”

“I compensated you!!  Two Nightmare ampoules, a small fortune on the black market! Get off your fucking high horse and bring me my daughter, would you?!” an exasperated parent admonishes.

“Maybe I will stop the car and let nature follow its course,” The Joker fights back Scarecrow’s affront, yet your dad has plenty on his plate .

“If you do such a thing and she dies, I’ll hold you responsible and trust me when I say you don’t want me to hold you responsible!!!” the serious ultimatum prompts your chauffeur to take a sharp turn on Highway 68. “Am I on speaker?” Jonathan checks without given his apparent opponent a chance to rationalize his behavior.

“Yes!” J snarls, pissed at the stupid rescue mission entrusted to him.

“Y/N, hang in there! I’ll get stuff ready by the time you arrive, alright?” Scarecrow encourages his daughter, afraid of the severe consequences of the experimental drug she ingested.  

“Mmmm,” you moan in your daze, not being able to respond.

“Keep her alert; we can’t have her sink into a coma! I have to formulate an IV mixture to flush the Cromyxillium out of her system!”

“She’s completely out!” The Joker states although there’s nobody at the other end of the line anymore. “Who’s we anyway?!” he huffs and elects to give it a go regardless. “Y/N, how many kids we would have had if we were married?... … … … … I think the precise answer is at least 4, am I correct?” J blabbers on since you don’t engage in the conversation. “Great…I’ll be held liable for your demise,” he bites his lower lip, vexed things didn’t shine too bright for him; in fact, no matter how hard The Clown tries the blame it on somebody else, he dug his own hole on this one.

****************

You’re not sure how long you’ve been in the darkness, but the sharp poke in your arm makes you groan in pain.

“I’m sorry honey,” your father whispers. “We have to keep the IV for an hour, then I can take the needle out.”

“D-daddy…” you find the strength to stammer. “Am I… am I dying…?”

“No… No… I won’t let you die…” Scarecrow kisses your forehead, upset you don’t seem fine at all. “It’s my fault, I didn’t think you’ll have a reaction to Cromyxillium, not the way I bound the particles with the rest of the molecules.”

“You didn’t test it?” The Joker intervenes into a dialogue he should steer clear off.

“No, I didn’t have time to test it!” Jonathan hatefully stares at the man he wishes to strangle on the spot. “I don’t have time for anything!! Do you understand? My daughter is dying!! I’m not even that kind of doctor yet she’s breathing nevertheless due to my capability of manipulating compounds! Y/N would be 6 feet under with traditional chemotherapy, which proves I am doing a few things right!!! If Emma was sick, I’m certain you wouldn’t run your mouth like you do now!”

J wiggles in his chair, definitely about to erupt at Crane’s justified tirade.

“I’m so cold…” you utter, the ruckus adding to your general discomfort.

“That’s normal, it means the intravenous remedy is working; I’ll bring more covers,” Jonathan strolls out of the room only to gasp upon his return: J is snuggling with you, totally oblivious to your parent’s stupefied question: “What the hell are you doing??!!”

“I got off my high horse and I’m keeping her warm,” J stresses the importance of his random deed. “It’s not cheap thought! I demand…”

“You demand nothing!” Scarecrow covers you with more layers, irritated The King of Gotham has the audacity to milk out benefits in these circumstances; the latest wants to protest Jonathan’s vehement denial while not being conceded the prospect of such luxury:

“Dad…” you reach out your left hand and he sits by you, keeping the shaky fingers on his face. “Did… did you call Evelyn?” you barely blink, exhausted from the intensive treatment.

“I will…”

“You have to; I don’t want you to end up alone… She loves you… You could have more children with her… or at least one more…”

Jonathan Crane inhales, flustered his daughter is worried about him when she should worry about herself.

“I could have more kids, but don’t you know you’re irreplaceable?” he kisses your wrist and pretends to brush off the agony building up in his heart. “Don’t cry honey,” he wipes your tears, then casually shoves The Joker’s arm since is wrapped around your waist. “Your help is no longer required,” Scarecrow hints and his advice falls on deaf ears: J has important news that might switch the balance in his favor.

“I also called Emma on my way here to report about Y/N’s ordeal; she’s cutting her trip to New York short and I received strict orders to make myself useful until her arrival. Now, unless you want to deal with another pain in the ass besides your offspring, I suggest you tolerate my presence!”

Jonathan curls up in a ball on the vacant side of your bed, relieved to see you’re napping. "I didn’t feel the urge to punch someone in ages!” he sneers.

“Likewise!” The Joker barks too from behind your shoulder. “How come she passed out again?” he switches the subject and Jonathan explains without any trace of enthusiasm.

“I included a serum that promotes nice dreams in her IV bag: she’ll be in a deep sleep and envision things she likes.”

“Oh, that’s awesome. I’m sure I’ll pop up in there then,” the excited Clown Prince of Crime emphasizes to your father’s disapproval.

“I said things she likes!”

**************

10:12am

“Hello Miss Crane,” you are greeted as you narrowly open your eyes; it takes a minute to recollect from the dizziness and confusion of last night’s episode.

“Where’s my dad?” you lick your dry lips, noticing J by the windows.

“At the lab; he’s consulting with some doctors or whatnot and left me in charge,” he effortlessly forges half a truth with half a lie.

“Where’s my phone? I want to talk to him.”

“I think I left it at the cabin, I was in a hurry to get you here.”

“You drove me?...” you skeptically interrogate.

“Yeah, you don’t remember?”

“No…” you stretch while touching the band aid placed where the needle used to be. “Where’s Emma?”

“On her way back to Gotham; she called several times and tried talking to you but you were out.”

“Was I?...”

“U-hum,” J shakes his head. “I reckon she promised she’ll assist with your birthday party next week and she’s terrified you’ll kick the bucket in the meantime. She didn’t precisely articulate these sentences, but I‘m her dad: I can read in between the lines,” the proud Joker blurs out, loving the shocked look you display. “Am I invited to the celebration?”

You signal a no and he’s not discouraged by your vehement denial.

“Can I bring Mara?”

“Absolutely not!!!”

“Oh, so I’m actually invited but not her?”

He takes advantage of the speechless Y/N, setting up the stage for his own benefit:

“I can work with that,” he glares at you, gratified. “However, I can’t show at a party without a date; it’s not dignifying for a man of my social status. This leaves us with only one solution.”

“NO!” you protest because you can estimate his proposal.

“Cool, then we have a deal Miss Crane: you got yourself a date!”

“I already have a date!”

“Who?”  The Joker smirks. 

“Sam is my date for my birthday.”

“Sam as in Bane’s son?”

“Yes,” you squirm under the blankets, uneasy at the concept of having J as partner for the upcoming bash.

“Pfft,” he huffs. “That’s a huuuge load of baloney,” your own words from last night are used by the obnoxious green haired menace. “I’ll pick you up Wednesday at 3pm, ok?”

“The party is here at my house!”

“Ok, then you pick me up at 3pm.”

“I’m not picking you up!” you scoff at his nonsense.

“Damn, you’re hard to negotiate with,” The Joker scratches his chin. “Fine, I’ll bring myself here.”

You contemptuously stare at him, appalled he keeps on insisting when you declined his plan. On top of everything, the whole universe is getting the confirmation today that Jonathan Crane’s genius is frankly skipping a generation since you enunciate:

“Don’t be late!”

Also read: MASTERLIST

You can also follow me ON Ao3 and Wattpad under the same blog name: DiYunho.

[magic5ball]

Nature Trail to Hell Arc IV: Megamart of Darkness (6)

Chapter 6: Franklin vs. Penn: Ultimate Grudge Match

“I’m sorry,” He said, all polite-and-founding-father like, “but the museum is now closed. Those who do not leave WILL BE EXTERMINATED. As I always say, early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and NOT DEAD! Thank you so much for visiting the Franklin Institute, and please come back tomorrow, when I WON’T KILL YOU!”

           Unfortunately for Silverstein, I’d been in situations like this a thousand times before. See, when you get in trouble, be it trying to flood the house, drawing pictures on the walls, or just plain old putting fireworks in your breakfast cereal, you learn real quick to always have a buddy (or little brother) on standby. Why? Because-

“It was them, Mr. Franklin!” I cried, pointing my index finger. “They started it!”

Then I ran. Always run before they can think long enough to punish you!

There was a loud Pop as Ben Franklin cracked his knuckles.

“A fool and his money are soon parted, as is a certain Quaker and his life if he does not leave now. I once said visitors and fish stink after three days, but you were rotten on arrival, pacifist!”

Penn stamped his foot so hard it cracked the floor, accepting the challenge. “I may not believe in fighting, but soon you shall see why they call us the Quakers, you impoverished d!ck!”

“Uhh… guys? I’m still here.” Said Silverstein, just in time for Penn to kick him into a marble pillar.

“The child is mine to reprimand, you fool!”

“’Tis not!”

“’Tis too!”

“’Tis not!”

           As much as I wanted to hear a riveting philosophical debate between two of PA’s most famous citizens, I wasn’t exactly looking forward to getting crushed by giants, either. Instead I ran. I ran so far away. Now, keep in mind I hadn’t been to the museum since I was five, which made searching out the train an absolute pain. Having two giant men bumbling behind me didn’t exactly help.

All I could think was runrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrun.

           It should have been easy: all I needed to do was find that stupid train, bring it to life with gold dust, and vamoose! If only I could remember which room the darn thing was in! Instead, I ran through rooms filled with electricity, weather, and ‘shudder’ physics. Sometime along the way, I realized this is where parents put all the boring sciences nobody cared about, locking them away from the rest of the world. This wasn’t a museum, this was a prison. A prison of learning.

           Then there were Ben Franklin and William Penn hot on my tail, reducing rooms to rubble as they went. I had no idea what would happen when all that science got released into the world, but I didn’t want to find out. At least they seemed more interested in each other than me. Until Ben Franklin stuffed Penn’s body up a working Tesla coil, that is. Penn might have recovered, had he been made of something other than bronze. Instead, the room exploded in a burst of electricity, Franklin and I leaping out in the nick of time like a pair of action heroes.

           Of course, without Penn to distract him, I had to contend with Big Ben himself (and Silverstein, whenever the heck he got back in the fight). So now on top of finding Baldwin (seriously, how hard can finding a 400,000 pound choo-choo train possibly be?!) I had the world’s angriest founding father on my tail, spitting maxims at me. Maxims that were also really bad puns about my demise (that I may or may not still sometimes hear in my sleep).

“I once said three can keep a secret if two of them are dead. So far, one down, one to go!”

I slammed my knuckles to my head.

Come on, Watt! Think, thiiinnnnkkkkkk!

I pumped my ten year old legs hard enough to pop my knees off, the air pushing back against me like concrete. There was a flash; the world spun. Then everything was still. Absolutely still.

                                                          .   .   .

           When I opened my eyes, I back at the Franklin Institute. Srta. Now, it was day and there were tons of guests. And in that great thong of guests was none other than five year old me being dragged along his parents. 

Fist, I was right confused about what the hey was going on, when it struck me that just last year I managed to run faster than the speed of light, going back through time. But back then, I’d sprained my ankle so I shouldn’t have been able to go that fast again. This had to be an illusion! Unless...

Unless, being a soul now, my ghost ankle wasn’t sprained, which, combined with my dinosaur feet, had let me run fast enough to break he sound barrier again and go back to the day my parents first took me to this hell of learning! Should I have been worried I wasn’t more shocked? Maybe, but all my mind could think of was how I distinctly remembered seeing a giant train as the last stop on my visit. It took my nerve wracked mind five seconds to churn out a plan. And so began the first (but sadly, not last) time I would find myself stalking somebody.

           Funny about stalking. In the movies they make it look like some daring spy espionage thing while some awesome music plays in the background. Fact is, you spend most of it just sitting around searching for that perfect mix of part of the crowd, but not so much you’ve lost your target, the whole time internally screaming Darn it, kid! Put down the plastic stegosaurus and get a move on to the trains already! (I also felt tempted to tell him throwing Steggy into incoming traffic on the way home was a terrible idea even by 5-year-old standards, but that’s the sort of thing that causes time paradoxes, so I kept my mouth shut.) Seriously, it’s no wonder I didn’t remember squat about the place! And somehow, despite having his face in front of a dinosaur the whole time, little Watt spent hours in front of every exhibit (except the giant human heart, that one sent little me screaming for the exit until Mom convinced him there were no ghosts in there). If it weren’t for Dad grumbling how ‘we should’ve just gone to the dinosaurs like we usually do’ while Mom countered with ‘we need to expand our son’s horizons’, I might have died of boredom for the third time that summer.

           One planetarium show later (which I sat outside for, seeing I didn’t have a ticket) they finally got a move on to the trains, which actually got little me to stop staring at his plastic dinosaur for five seconds. Heck, I found myself gaping at the darn thing (which of course was in an out of the way area most people wouldn’t even notice if it wasn’t on the map.)

           So I knew where the Baldwin was, now I could get going returning to my own time! As if on cue, a loudspeaker screamed

“ATTENTION GUESTS! IN FIVE MINUTES THERE WILL BE A DEMONSTRATION OF OUR TESLA COIL IN THE WONDERS OF ELECTRICITY EXHIBIT!”

           Mom, determined to get little me to see there was more to life than dinosaurs (Mom, I love you, but you’re wrong) immediately started dragging the family over. Naturally, I followed suit, knowing full well how this story ended.

Turned out, there was one other thing that could get little me to take his eyes off his plastic dinosaur for more than five seconds (that wasn’t a giant, fleshy organ in the middle of a museum hall). And that was seeing their future self running into the Tesla coil right as the demonstration began.

Have you ever been barbequed? Roasted so dark your skin feels like lava, then you can’t feel anything at all? Well, jumping into that coil was like that, and more. Only thing I could feel was my brains being spun around like clothes in a washer. All the while, I thought of that stupid giant heart. Whose heart did it even belong to, anyway, and who thought it was a good idea to put it in the middle of a museum hall where all a manner of kids could crawl through it to their heart’s content?

Whose heart was it?

But I already knew the answer, just like I know the history of dinosaurs. With that knowledge, I came up with the perfect plan.

And everything was still, absolutely still.

                                                         .   .   .

           When I got back up, it was nighttime in 2006, angry Ben Franklin and all. Quick on my feet, I ran to where the little kids go to learn how disgusting they are on the inside. Franklin followed close behind, each footstep a five on the Richter scale. If I wanted to pull my plan off, I couldn’t miss a beat. Running was a bit trickier, though: somehow, I’d sprained my ghost ankle from running so fast. Not that I really had time to wonder how that worked. 

Anyway!

           Most kids like theme parks. I was never one of them. You know why? Because of those creepy animal mascots! Just like clowns, there’s something inhuman about them! But at the end of the day, a thousand of those costumed freaks seemed less scary than Big Ben Franklin’s ticker. And this is coming from a guy who literally lived in the Underworld for a few weeks!

           Did you know it glows at night?! It freaking glows at night like some bloody Chinese lantern. While pulsing! It was enough to make me lose my lunch (or Cheetos, in this case) to the point where I wondered if being crushed to death in the marble hands of our first president might not be such a bad thing after all. (He was our first president, right?) But at the end of it all, I flinched. First I was fleeing from death, the next moment I was lodged somewhere in Big Ben’s left ventricle.

“Coward! Come out and face me!” He cried, punching a hole mere inches from my face.

I may or may have not screamed as blood splattered my face. For the next few minutes, it was a fight for survival. Franklin ripped open the heart, trying to grab me, and I didn’t know what would kill me first: Fists, or the guy’s cringy maxims.

“He who would sacrifice his freedom for security deserves neither!”

Punch.

“My energy and persistence will conquer all things-that includes your flimsy little bones!”

Slam!

I would have parried with quips of my own, but really, it’s kinda hard to come up with puns for ‘ventricle’. But in the end, I decided who lived a-or-ta died, so that’s neat.

Sure enough, the more Franklin punched, the more blood spread over his marble face, the slower the heat beat and the weaker he got, over and over and over…

“Nothing is… certain in life… but death and…”

Just like that, Ben Franklin collapsed on the floor. Now it was my turn for a witty one liner.

“Didn’t your mother ever tell you an investment in knowledge pays the best interest? Fun fact about the heart: when it stops beating, you stop living.”

And with that, I went to my way toward the Baldwin, but not before Franklin gave me one last ominous warning.

“He who lives upon hope…”

I didn’t hear the rest because by then, he’d drowned in his own blood.

           So I ran to the best of my memory, diving down that staircase where they keep the pendulum thingy into the space travel exhibit (or as I like to call it: ‘You think it’s gonna be fun, but it’s not’.) And who do I see leaning against a replica lunar module but Smell Silverstein himself, looking mighty proud of himself

“Good evening, Watterson.” He said, all sinister-like. “You probably think you’ve been doing real good, busting up two of Pennsylvania’s most famous figures like that. Too bad, mother*cker! Because I’m Shel mother*ckin’ Silverstein, and now, you will be crushed by the wrath of Apollo, the Living Lunar Module!”

With as much charisma as he could muster, he took some dust from his pocket and splashed it on the space thing.

Nothing happened.

Shel looked at his hands, now a bright orange. “What the Stephen Hellenberg?! This isn’t gold dust, this is CHEESE PUFF DUST!”

           You know that gold dust Silverstein tried to snatch from me earlier? Too bad he didn’t have good night vision (the kind you get from constantly checking for monsters under your bed) otherwise he’d have noticed I’d pulled the ol’ switcheroo on him. 

And I made certain he wouldn’t have time to correct his mistake. 

You ever rammed a guy twice your size before? The key is to catch them by surprise, because even if you’re an eighty pound wimp like yours truly, if the other guy isn’t expecting it, they’ll topple like a domino, bang their head on the leg of a lunar module, and that will be that.

           Of course, I didn’t exactly have time to celebrate my victory. With what little energy I had left, I tottered over to the train exhibit. For a moment I’d expected the worst, but there it was, black, long, and big as a house: the Baldwin 60000, the greatest locomotive ever designed by man. Right where I’d left it. Climbing into the cockpit, I opened the firebox, pouring every last ounce of Penn’s gold dust inside. The whole thing shimmered as streams of gold circled the train, like some kind of magic spell.

“What the f*ck?!”

A deep booming voice erupted from right out of nowhere.

“Where am I? What is this place?! How the hell am I talking?!”

“Hey, relax-“

“And now there’s a voice in my head!”

“Actually, my name’s Watt, and I’m gonna bust you out of here.”

“Well I’m not interested! If you’ll excuse me, I have to go back to being the greatest steam engine in America!”

I slapped my head, finally realizing my Mom put up with this crap every time she put me to bed at night.

“C’mon, Baldwin, I nearly got sent to the Underworld, MULTIPLE TIMES I might add, trying to rescue you!”

“Then if you want a train so badly, go to Rocket over there! He’d probably help you out!”

Rocket was a dinky little rust bucket who probably couldn’t outrun a fourth grader, much less crush a Wegmart Greeter. In fact, I’m still not sure if that thing even qualified as a train.

Fortunately, my Mom put up with this crap every time she put me to bed, so let’s just say I knew a little about getting people to do what you want.

“Fine then,” I said, putting up my hands and making an exasperated sigh. “Guess you won’t have the chance to be famous, then.”

“How?!” The desperation in his voice was palpable.

“Oh, I just wanted you of run over a Wegmart Greeter and help some geese get their nesting grounds back. It would get you in the papers. But I could just go over to Rocket, since you insisted…”

A whistle erupted. “NO! NO! You definitely want me! Ever since I’ve somehow gained a consciousness, all I’ve had the inescapable urge to do something stupid that’ll land me in the papers! I’m a very useful engine, I SWEAR! Please don’t leave meee!”

I crossed my arms and rolled my eyes “Okay, but promise you’ll do everything I say, alright.”

“Yes, yes! Anything for fame!”

Just at that moment, William Penn barged in, creating a giant Quaker shaped hole in the wall. His hair was a bit frazzled, but other than that he looked just as dandy as when I first saw him.

“Halt, Wastrel! In the name of Penn-“

“CHARGE!” I screamed.

With an ear shattering whistle Baldwin rammed forward, shattering Penn’s bronze butt into a million pieces. But we didn’t stop there. No, we kept going through the museum, out the other end, and…

“We’re going to crash into traffic!”

“Don’t worry, kid! You just have to belieeeeevvvveeeee!”

“How is that supposed to-“

“Do you want to ram through a traffic jam or not?!”

So I did. I hugged the firebox, believing we might somehow get away with all this. Gradually, the ground stopped screeching beneath us. When I finally found the courage to look down, we were a hundred feet in the air. I wondered what passersbys would think when they looked up to see a seven hundred thousand pound train making a silhouette as it passed over the moon.

“What the heck is happening?!”

“Magic, kid! The Magic of BELEIVING, MOTHERFORKER!” He tooted his whistle triumphantly “Just don’t stop, or we all fall to our deaths. I’ll even sing a song to help you remember!”

“No that’s-“

“Don’t stop! Beleivviiiinnnngg!”

I screamed all the way back to the pond.

                                                          .   .   .

Just like I promised, Baldwin did get in the papers. Specifically, an article in the National Esquirerer titled

“Lascivious Locomotive Finishes Founding Father! Makes Daring Escape into the Heavens!”

Right beneath an article about one of the most pressing issues of our time:

‘Hannah Montana: the American Beethoven?’

[chibi-encubierta]

Trials of Mana, Session 6: “I was so tired that pressed the “save as draft” instead of the “post” button last night hahahah”

Ugghh... I hate being an adult and having to do adult stuff for all week... (they lifted the quarantine for some days last week I had to buy food and supplies for the next round of confinement). Also Pokemon Go Fest was cool! Got 4 shinies and some regionals and the Shadow bird trio (2 out of 3 are 90+iv without purification!!). Also my brother would have died long time ago if it weren’t for the fact that I’m currently with him doing everything in this apartment. ===============    But now I’m finally back to play!! yaaaaayy!!! TIME FOR REVEEEEENGEEEE!

Yeess finally killed this plant!! I really don’t know what I did wrong the first time, I did exactly the same and it died really quick. (Caterpillars make pig noises hehehe) ===============  

Dryad is literally doing an OwO face here and I don’t know what to think about it.

===============  

Finally got the 8 spirit! Took me long this time... Ok, time to go to Oblivisle and get every single bad guy after us, yay!

Altena’s ship looks so cool! But reminds me of... something...!!!!! PROTOSS!!! THAT A PROTOSS SHIP!!!

This looks even funnier in 3d hehehehe

I love Nevarl ship and its remaked ballons!!

===============  

YES! Its Flammie time!! Lets go to find her!

nice view in this place :D love it

===============  

The Winged Defender of Sass (If I recall correctly in the fan translation is called “father of the winged ones” or something similar.. maybe that was the name of the Heroes of Mana game... Aaanyway, I like the new title of “Defender” is cool!)

Cute Flammie is soooo cute! I have always loved her and will love her forever.

YEEEEEHAWWW!!!

===============  

Honestly, the past week has been just so hard... I don’t have the energy as I did before the 6 month of quarantine with all this “normal” activity... but I really love this part, need to keep playing.

===============

I see no difference! (will make this a separated post later)

===============

HELLO THERE MANA GODDESS, almost forgot that she appeared here.

Hi  ̶̷̼̠͚̘̦ͫ̉̒ͨ̌D̰̟ͥ̌ͤ̀ͪͨ̓̈́͟u̡͙͓̅͊̈ͤ̏̐ͭ͒̈́̕r̗ͮͩ̈́ͬ͊͒͑a̴͚̝̘̳̫̗ͦ͛̉nͯ̑ͨ̈̈́ͪ̿̌͏̬̦̮͢’̾̿̋ͤ̚͘҉̘̖̮̮͢s̫̥͚͈͈͑̓͗̂ ̵̛̪̹̱̼͎̲̻͒ͥͮ͑̔̎̾͒́ḟ̛̝̟͇̝̟̟̮͆̊͑̍ͬ͗̃́ǎ̸͚̙ͪ͂ͯ̀̍̔̋ṱ̷͖̦͓̮͉͙͗̐͋̒̓̊̈́h̸͋ͭ̓ͮ͐̂ͧ̄͏̹͔̦̺e̸̤̻̪̝͚ͫ͐̿͆̓̋̊r̟̮͉̰̯̿͒̉̆̈́̽͝ Bye ͔̭̦ͫͣͧ̄̌̏͝͠D̘̼͚̜̩̖̠̠̅̚͡u̮͔͉͓̝ͭ̎̀r̝͎͕̪͙̻̿̋͒͂ͤ̓ͩ͘a̱̯̬͉̜͎̤̎̒̌̂ͬn̛͚̭̩͇̜̼͔̻͊̅͛̒́’̷͙̭̫͕͕̮̺͒̃̾͡s̷̺͙͎̉͝ ̧̟̺̽̏̇f̢̦͔̪̗̳̭̒̄̍ͦ͂͡ā̧͓̬̲̱͖̯ͣ͢t̬̫̫̍̽͛͋h̶̎̀͏̫̻̦̳ĕ̷̌̇͒̋̌̓͆͒҉̥̲̠͕͇͙̯͘r̸̷̰̯̹͙̘͔̒́̓ͮ̑͊̑ͩ͘ͅ ̹͓ͧ̅   forever this time.

Mmm.... Charlotte? Are you not going to comment something about seeing Heath right here? No? nothing? Ok moving on, to Ferolia!!!

=============== Will rush this castle because I’m getting really sleepy but again, I love this part.

...I’m not totally ashamed to admit that got lost trying to get a treasure... I’m really tired hahhaha. ===============

Riesz: Oh my... What happened here? Kevin:  *smiles* I did when discovered the king made me kill Karl! Riesz: How...? Kevin: Ran thought it, wall break down, I kept running. Charlotte: NICE A SHOTCUT!! LETS GET BACK FAERIE, DECCHI! =============== (Now Charlotte recognized Heath, about time gurl!)

Wow... That was low Kevin, you broke Gauser heart, I’m sure :(

And then he proceeded to exit the scene... To play with a pup!!

Sword of Mana confirms it: Kevin is a beautiful cinnamon Roll, too good for this world, too pure. The game want me to go back the entire castle but I KNOW I NEED TO GO BEHIND THE THRONE ROOM!! (Gauser is literally playing with Karl!! omg!! but it is obvious that he likes dogs, he has 2 big cerberus as pets!! is a family thing?)

The plot thickens.

The  A+ parenting of the entire game (Literally, all the rest are the worst parents ever or dead... or both!) Gauser really loves his son, no matter what he says :D This is why I love this part, Gauser and Kevin ends this part so happy Now finally to my favorite part, defeat the Benevodons!! but... not today I’m just too tired and don’t know which one to pick first =============== Next session: “Dolan is nearest but I want to fly to destroy the Light one first bc I just hate that one eye flying tumour”

[damdahdi-studies]

exam season

the last 2 weeks have been exam season. leading up to exams i ran week-long blocks of distracting websites on my mac, so I haven’t been able to get on tumblr.... so finally updating now: (more like ranting.) 

one math exam left, on thursday morning

exams so far have been.... okay. none of them i feel particularly good about, but overall i think i managed to deal with the stress/anxiety better this semester than last, just a little bit 

some nice things that happened before exams: 

100% in Chinese speaking mock exam, listening and writing section of written mock exam. i didn’t really realise it until i looked back on my old posts and read how i felt after first set of exams just now, but i have come ... maybe not a long way, but some kind of way :] at the time i was very insecure about just myself and barely believed i could improve on my own; yet i did to a standard i never could’ve dreamed even start of this year. 

somehow obtained 90% in an oral presentation i made about The Crucible by Arthur Miller. i still don’t know how I did it, but I’m glad i improved from the 60s i got last semester in presentations. public speaking still felt like hell though 

top female scorer in my state for some maths competition. also have no idea how i did this, i thought i would get distinction at best. 

changed piano teachers (previous teacher recommended the new one) 

dress for year 12 ball next year arrived. it’s a soft grey pretty thing 

my birthday was during exam season :/ 

also first set of my own prayer beads arrived. have been using them daily since 

reflecting on each subject: (so I can read back on this after i get my marks back and be like haha....  you fool.) 

Literature: better than last time is all i can say... it was okay (still felt like hell during the exam because it’s Literature) managed time during exam slightly better, I didn’t panic as much, but that’s about it lmao i’m crossing my fingers for a low 70s and double crossing for an A. i wasn’t able to or simply didn’t contribute much effort/time to literature this semester, so a B wouldn’t really be a fuck-i-tried-so-hard-why-did-i-get-this-grade kind of punch in the gut, but it would be really nice to not break an all A streak... but I highly suspect I will get a B

Methods (maths): exam was harder than i expected. hoping for a 90s though, a mark that wont bring my average down. i think i was best prepared for methods compared to other subjects, emphasis on COMPARED to other subjects. -_- 

Physics: ahh physics. a whole debacle happened during the exam, please see below. other than that the exam was... kind of expected difficulty? which is difficult, but it wasn’t terrible-terrible. i’m hoping for an 80s. i really can’t hope for much, i was probably delirious half the time. i did manage to ‘finish’ (attempt every question) though i wish i got more time... i couldn’t double check many questions and there was this one question i wanted to spend more time on but oh well... 

summary: i threw up once before the exam, twice during.  

ate a blueberry bagel with cream cheese, with some salmon on top for breakfast. looking back, it was probably the salmon. 

didn’t feel good after. got to school feeling pretty sick in the stomach and a pretty bad headache.... which escalated to one of the worst headaches ive had in the last 3 years in 20 minutes 

at this point i could tell something was wrong and that i was about to throw up 

went to the toilet, tried to throw up whatever was causing pain to my body, but couldn’t. only ended up scaring away some poor kid in the next cubicle 

FIRST TIME: left toilet. sit still for 10 minutes outside, feeling progressively worse. go back to the toilet, then throw up a lot. gargle, wash face, go back to find everyone filing into the exam room. 

feeling slightly better at this point since ive thrown up (i thought i had emptied most of my stomach by then. spoiler alert: no) and decide internally to just do the exam. (if i don’t, then i would have to fill out some form, probably do the exam way later. too annoying) 

SECOND TIME: so i sit the exam. 5-6 minutes into reading time, i feel another wave of throwing up coming. i raise my hand, i’m at the very back of the hall, so examiner takes a bit to notice. my brainwashed ass brain thinks i can’t stand up and leave without the examiners spoken permission, so i persist in sitting in my seat for around 10 seconds until she’s there, i’m already throwing up in my mouth at this point. finally something snaps and i make a break for the toilet, but it’s too late and i throw up all over the floor. in the exam hall. Fuck. i immediately apologise on the spot. 

examiner leads me to toilet. i throw up some more. gargle, wash face. she asks me to step outside for a couple of minutes for fresh air and i do. 5 minutes later she comes back and asks me if i want to continue the exam. i say yes. we go back in, the vomit is gone from the floor. she moves my seat closer to the exit, and tells me i can bolt out whenever i need to throw up. i sit the exam. 

some time after this, the other examiner leaves a vomit bag next to me just in case

THIRD TIME: an hour in? i feel another wave coming. i grab the vomit bag, make a dash for the toilets but the stupid old door won’t open properly. the examiner helps me open the door and i throw up in the toilets, in the vomit bag this time. it’s not as much as the previous two times. tie up the bag, throw it in the bin, gargle, wash face. 

instinctively i feel that this is the last time i’ll throw up, that i’ve truly emptied everything from my stomach this time. headache is way weaker at this point. 

go back in and examiner asks me if i’m really sure i want to continue the exam, whether or not if i want to fill in a form excusing myself from the exam. i say no.

about an hour left in the exam, which i sit in utter peace 

didn’t get any extra time. 

apologised to some people around me after the exam while filing out of the hall... i suffered but they did too. 

went home and drank some stomach soothing tea. slept

ate porridge for the next 2 days. 

Chemistry: it was.... okay. i did finish and attempt every question. there were a couple of questions in multiple choice i was iffy about and a question in short answer i was like um... what? to, but other than that it was.... eh. i didn’t study much for it, so whatever mark i get i deserve. if i do defend myself it was 3 days after the shit show that was the physics exam, and i felt sick for at least a day after.... but yeah. should’ve tried more. 

during reading time, the examiner who saved my life put the vomit bag on my desk in the physics exam came and asked me if i was feeling better 

i said i’m feeling good thanks : ) 

like an hour later? i feel sickness coming. not stomach this time, just general sickness. somehow i get a fever and subsequently, the FLU in the middle of the chem exam- 

i highly suspect i got it from the examiner 

come back home to find out that i really do have a fever

this was yesterday. yes i’m sick now. like, more sick. 

Chinese: this was today. i’m still kind of too traumatised to reflect on it properly. Chinese is the only subject that ive studied the yr 12 course for this year, so this exam really counts. like 35% of my final grade counts kind of counts. and i did pretty bad. like pretty bad. it was definitely more difficult than the mock exams, and the recordings in listening section were quicker than previous years. the writing section was... traumatising while writing i kind of had a wave of anxiety/panic hit me? i could feel my heartbeat my face was burning and i started sweating ;-; and even the reading section, which is usually okay, was a bit hard. i’ll get the marks back and my final grade for this subject in December - we’ll see until then. got a slightly overdue birthday present before the exam tho :) 

So yup. that’s my exam season. i’m typing this instead of studying for my maths exam day after tomorrow but hey, i’m sick and need rest, right? 

overall, these exams i managed to keep control of my stress a bit better, i wasn’t so overwhelmed like last time. last semester i could barely live, literally. this time i made the habit of living at the library which i found really helpful and comparatively productive, i’ll definitely be using that strategy more often. i’m just glad i managed to study SOMETHING or prepare for exams explicitly this time, because i was simply too overwhelmed to do that last time. i improved. maybe not by much, maybe it doesn’t seem like much, but it’s better than none... 

i’m not saying i don’t have regrets or shortcomings in these exams. i definitely do. DeFinITEly. but doesn’t mean i didn’t improve. i did improve. just, maybe not as much as i wanted. 

i really learned to the bone this time that learning during the semester is so, so important. i think that’s just a wisdom i’ll have to carry through the rest of my academic career. 

wish me luck for my maths exam on Thursday 

my friends and ive already planned an outing for after the exams :) 

also getting overdue birthday presents next monday! :D 

[futabiisms]

► NAME ➔   taiki / futaba sakura ► ARE YOU SINGLE? ➔  yeah, and im not looking ► ARE YOU HAPPY? ➔  on a surface level :) ► ARE YOU ANGRY? ➔ yeah, but in playful ways. real anger is occasional. ► ARE YOUR PARENTS STILL MARRIED? ➔ they werent in the first place haha

NINE FACTS.

► BIRTHPLACE ➔   setagaya ► HAIR COLOUR ➔   black or orange depending on how recent the dye job is ► EYE COLOUR➔   some people say purple, some people say red ► BIRTHDAY ➔    19 feb ► MOOD ➔   stab ( alternatively, i am feeling okayish ) ► GENDER ➔  a dude :) misgender me and i delete ur overwatch acct :) ► SUMMER OR WINTER? ➔   winter ► MORNING OR AFTERNOON? ➔   afternoon

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE.

► ARE YOU IN LOVE? ➔ nah ► DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT? ➔  nah ► WHO ENDED YOUR LAST RELATIONSHIP? ➔   bold of you to assume ive had one. in terms of relationships in general though? a car and a mental shutdown ► HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART? ➔  i sure hope no ones stooped that low ► ARE YOU AFRAID OF COMMITMENTS? ➔   oh yeah. once im ur friend though u will never get rid of me ► HAVE YOU HUGGED SOMEONE WITHIN THE LAST WEEK? ➔  yeah ► HAVE YOU EVER HAD A SECRET ADMIRER? ➔  probably online??? but not that i know of?? ► HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN YOUR OWN HEART? ➔  .yes i think?

SIX CHOICES.

► LOVE OR LUST? ➔  love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ► LEMONADE OR ICE TEA? ➔   lemonade!!!!!!!!!!!! ► CATS OR DOGS? ➔  CAT ► A FEW BEST FRIENDS OR MANY REGULAR FRIENDS? ➔  few best friends ► WILD NIGHT OUT OR ROMANTIC NIGHT IN? ➔ wild night in! :) ► DAY OR NIGHT? ➔  night

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS.

► BEEN CAUGHT SNEAKING OUT? ➔  i dont sneak out. i just exit and enter at various times ► FALLEN DOWN / UP THE STAIRS? ➔   yeahhhhhh ► WANTED SOMEONE / SOMETHING SO BADLY IT HURT? ➔ yeah :( ► WANTED TO DISAPPEAR? ➔ heck yeah depression :’D

FOUR PREFERENCES.

► SMILE OR EYES? ➔  smile ► SHORTER OR TALLER? ➔  taller, its not hard tbh ► INTELLIGENCE OR ATTRACTION? ➔ intelligence but like both ig ► HOOK-UP OR RELATIONSHIPS? ➔ relationship!!!!!!!!

FAMILY.

► DO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY GET ALONG? ➔  right now yeah very! ► WOULD YOU SAY YOU HAVE A “MESSED UP LIFE?” ➔ my therapist would say so, so yeah ► HAVE YOU EVER RAN AWAY FROM HOME? ➔  not technically?? idk ► HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN KICKED OUT? ➔  maybe. who knows. memory’s unreliable

FRIENDS.

► DO YOU SECRETLY HATE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS? ➔ if i hated one of them they wouldnt be my friend and they wouldn’t have a minecraft account anymore ► DO YOU CONSIDER ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS GOOD FRIENDS? ➔  i guess so ► WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? ➔  akira! ► WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU? ➔ myself, so... necronomicon lol

TAGGED BY:  i stole it hehehe TAGGING: you and you and you and you and @milquetoastboy and you!

[eddycurrents]

For the week of 1 July 2019

Quick Bits:

Aero #1 is an impressive solo debut for the Chinese original heroine spinning out of War of the Realms: New Agents of Atlas in North America and her original stories published in China. The first story is an English adaptation of one originally published in Chinese from Zhou Liefen and Keng, with the adaptation by Greg Pak, letters by Joe Caramagna. The artwork from Keng is stunning. There’s also an original back-up from Pak, Pop Mhan, Federico Blee, and Caramagna that ties in more directly to New Agents of Atlas with Aero learning more about Wave’s origin.

| Published by Marvel

Age of X-Man: Prisoner X #5 concludes another of these minis setting up for the finale in Age of X-Man: Omega. Vita Ayala, Germán Peralta, Matt Horak, Mike Spicer, and Joe Sabino deliver an entertaining story here of Bishop and his crew fighting back against their captor and figuring out who put them in this mess. Gorgeous artwork from Peralta, Horak, and Spicer.

| Published by Marvel

Analog #6 returns from the break with this action-packed start to the new arc. Great art from David O’Sullivan and Mike Spicer. Also, an interesting reveal of what people still do post-Internet.

| Published by Image

Crowded #7 kicks off the second arc as Charlie and Vita try to make their way to Las Vegas. Tons of humour, Charlie continues to be someone that you want to strangle, and Dog may just be the best part of the entire series. I love the art from Ro Stein, Ted Brandt, Tríona Farrell, Katie O’Meara, and Holly McKend.

| Published by Image

Deathstroke #45 begins “Deathstroke RIP” from Priest, Fernando Pasarin, Jason Paz, Wade von Grawbadger, Jeromy Cox, and Willie Schubert. This one deals with the legacy of Slade Wilson in a fascinating manner as Rose tries to fulfill her father’s last contract. There’s also a tie-in to the “Year of the Villain” event with someone here listening to Luthor’s offer. Should be an interesting road ahead.

| Published by DC Comics

Doom Patrol: Weight of the Worlds #1 is very much a continuation of the previous volume of Doom Patrol (with this first issue even including a “Thirteen” chapter heading), but it’s both inclusive and weird enough that it doesn’t overly matter if you’ve read the previous stuff. It helps, but this isn’t a bad place to jump in at the deep end. Gerard Way, Jeremy Lambert, James Harvey, Sajan Rai, and a seemingly uncredited letterer deliver an excellent story here, featuring a weird story on a fitness planet and Cliff dealing poorly with being flesh and blood again.

| Published by DC Comics / Young Animal

Giant Days #52 seems to be setting up how the series may see its exit as Esther travels to London for a job interview. It’s going to be sad to see it end, but John Allison, Max Sarin, Whitney Cogar, and Jim Campbell are ensuring that these final stories contain all of the humour and rich character interaction that has been a hallmark for the book.

| Published by Boom Entertainment / BOOM! Box

The Green Lantern #9 is another excellent issue with stunning artwork from Liam Sharp and Steve Oliff. This one sets up a new multiversal threat while also giving us a fun adventure on an otherwise forgotten corner of the DC Universe in Athmoora. 

| Published by DC Comics

Harley Quinn #63 is another “Year of the Villain” tie-in, with the offer being heard on the last two pages of the book. That pretty much seems to be the theme of these tie-ins, so if you’re not normally reading the books, you might otherwise want to skip them if you’re only interested in Year of the Villain. Apart from that, this is an entertaining story of Harley dealing with her mother’s cancer diagnosis from Sam Humphries, Otto Schmidt, and Dave Sharpe.

| Published by DC Comics

Immortal Hulk #20 continues to build on the confrontation between Hulk, Betty, and the new Abomination adding General Fortean’s forces to the mix directly. It’s fairly explosive, while more horrible and horrifying things seem to be happening on the other side of the Green Door and elsewhere. Al Ewing, Joe Bennett, Ruy José, Belardino Brabo, Marc Deering, Paul Mounts, and Cory Petit continue to deliver Marvel’s best title. Also, there’s an Absolute Carnage teaser from Ewing, Brian Level, Mounts, and Clayton Cowles that gives us a missing body of General Ross and hints at possibly a more nightmarish Red Hulk.

| Published by Marvel

Justice League #27 continues “Apex Predator” from James Tynion IV, Javier Fernandez, Bruno Redondo, Hi-Fi, and Tom Napolitano. It builds further on the new history of Luthor and Martian Manhunter, while the rest of the team continues to try to track down the Monitor and Anti-Monitor.

| Published by DC Comics

Lois Lane #1 is an excellent debut from Greg Rucka, Mike Perkins, Paul Mounts, and Simon Bowland. It focuses well on Lois’ day job, building up on what makes her a creditable threat to shady organizations and the US government alike as she pushes forward to find the truth. A very welcome reappearance of a Questionable character, some topical story threads of the camps at the southern US border, and gorgeous artwork from Perkins and Mounts.

| Published by DC Comics

Red Sonja #6 is the penultimate chapter of this arc with the finale spinning off in the Lord of Fools special. Some interesting developments here as the Zamoran Emperor tries to end the war by offering Sonja a marriage proposal.

| Published by Dynamite

Savage Avengers #3 fully unites the team as Electra and Punisher join the others, complete with an interesting merging for the Venom symbiote. Gerry Duggan tosses out some really great funny lines for this one amidst all of the bloody action.

| Published by Marvel

Sea of Stars #1 is a heartbreaking debut from Jason Aaron, Dennis Hallum, Stephen Green, Rico Renzi, and Jared K. Fletcher. Heartbreaking because it tells the story of a kid and his father, struggling to get by in cruel world through space shipping, and the attack of a weird space creature that tears them apart. Great set-up, beautiful art, and some bizarre events for what happens to the kid.

| Published by Image

Space Bandits #1 is worth it just for the incredible artwork from Matteo Scalera and Marcelo Maiolo. Like Scalera’s work on Black Science, the inventiveness of his art knows no limits and he explores some rich and detailed alien landscapes and characters, with a neat pastel colour palette from Maiolo. This first issue sets up two criminals screwed over by their respective crews.

| Published by Image

Star Wars: Target Vader #1 is a compelling debut that sets up a plot to kill Darth Vader from Robbie Thompson, Marc Laming, Chris Bolson, Neeraj Menon, Jordan Boyd, Andres Mossa, Federico Blee, Erick Arciniega, and Clayton Cowles. This one’s largely a gathering of the team set-up as we follow Valance from Han Solo: Imperial Cadet and learn of an organization running guns against the Empire.

| Published by Marvel

Superman: Up in the Sky #1 begins to collect the original Superman story that was published in those Walmart-exclusive 100-page anthologies from Tom King, Andy Kubert, Sandra Hope, Brad Anderson, and Clayton Cowles. It’s not a bad start, even if it seems a bit weird as to how obsessive Superman seems to be over a missing child stolen from the planet. Some of the best art from Andy Kubert I’ve seen in a while.

| Published by DC Comics

Test #1 is another highly unique and entertaining debut for Vault. Christopher Sebela, Jen Hickman, Harry Saxon, and Hassan Otsmane-Elhaou introduce us to Aleph, a test subject in some sort of corporate experiment that seems to have some sort of unique powers. Or maybe not. That’s the interesting thing, there are hints that it could all be in Aleph’s mind. Wonderful art from Hickman and Saxon.

| Published by Vault

Thumbs #2 continues this excellent series from Sean Lewis and Hayden Sherman. The world-building in this series is incredible, especially considering how immensely personal it happens to be in regards to being seen through Thumbs’ eyes. The colour scheme in this series of blue-grey washes and hot pink just makes this look and feel wonderfully unique. Also, how the back-up story is presented with spot illustrations and dialogue is a neat use of format.

| Published by Image

Other Highlights: Batgirl #36, Batman/TMNT III #3, Birthright #37, Black Hammer: Age of Doom #11, Captain America and the Invaders: Bahama’s Triangle #1, Charlie’s Angels vs. The Bionic Woman #1, Buffy the Vampire Slayer #6, DCeased #3, Dead Man Logan #9, Descendent #3, The Dreaming #11, Fantastic Four: Prodigal Sun #1, Female Furies #6, Hashtag: Danger #3, Heathen #7, Jim Henson’s Tale of Sand, KINO #17, The Long Con #10, Ms. Marvel Annual #1, No One Left to Fight #1, Old Man Quill #7, Postal: Deliverance #1, The Punisher #13, Secret Warps: Soldier Supreme Annual #1, Section Zero #4, She Said Destroy #2, Spider-Gwen: Ghost Spider #10, Star Trek: Year Five #3, Star Wars: Age of Resistance - Finn #1, Star Wars Adventures #23, TMNT #95, Transformers #8, The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl #46, Uncanny X-Men #21, The World of Black Hammer Encyclopedia

Recommended Collections: Conan the Barbarian - Volume 1: Life and Death of Conan Book One, Conan: The Jewels of Gwahlur & Other Stories, Crimson Lotus, Gasolina - Volume 3, Go Go Power Rangers - Volume 4, Hellboy: 25 Years of Covers, Monstress - Book One

d. emerson eddy thinks that it’s a crime against nature to not bake homemade mac and cheese.

[bloojayoolie]

Being Alone, Animals, and Cats: CUTE Fall-Fiqured Girl In Ned- Friendly afictionate, playful housetrained. ived in hartony with two children knows basic comtuands -- SPAYED&Ready To Go! At Brooklyn ACC waiting for LOVE Saseyahire Alone time is overrated- Adopt a shelter dog TO BE KILLED - 8/22/2019 ALONE TIME IS OVERRATED - ADOPT A SHELTER DOG <3 Sapphire is in need of a second chance in a good home. Instead of her former family making a few adjustments to keep the entire family together they just decided to throw Sapphire away. Now, at a time when she should be enjoying her home and family, she's stuck in a shelter and slated to lose her life if no one else sees what a true gem she is and her potential. Sapphire already lived in harmony with children and does well when meeting new people. She'll need a meet and greet to ensure she's a good match with another four-legged roommate but she's been known to do well. Sapphie is also housetrained and spayed so she's all ready to go and be a part of an awesome family but she needs her hero to be prompt because she is out of time at the Brooklyn shelter. Please don't wait. SAPPHIRE@BROOKLYN ACC Hello, my name is Sapphire My animal id is #70450 I am a desexed female brown brindle dog at the Brooklyn Animal Care Center The shelter thinks I am about 6 years old, 64 lbs Came into shelter as owner surrender 7/26/2019 Reason stated animal behavior - aggressive to other animals Sapphire is rescue only I came to the shelter with my sister Ruby, Id 70449, also on the list to die :-( : https://www.facebook.com/mldsavingnycdogs/photos/a.112459638940315/1045885488931054/?type=3&theater Sapphire is at risk for behavior concerns. Although she displays social behavior when interacting with staff members, Sapphire has been observed to exhibit a high level of anxiety during her interactions. Due to these observations, as well as her multiple-bite history toward other dogs, we feel she would be best set up to succeed if placed with an experienced rescue partner who can help manage these behaviors and decompress in a more stable environment, prior to permanent placement in an adult-only home. There are stipulations with placement. She is obese but appears otherwise healthy. My medical notes are... Weight: 64.4 lbs Vet Notes 7/26/2019 DVM Intake Exam Estimated age: 6y Microchip noted on Intake? yes History : owner surrender Subjective: BARH, no appetite, no elimination concerns Observed Behavior - mildly timid but allowed all handling Evidence of Cruelty seen - no Evidence of Trauma seen - no Objective P = wnl R = wnl BCS 7/9 EENT: Eyes clear, ears AU mild erythema, no nasal or ocular discharge noted Oral Exam: adult dentition, mild attrition PLN: No enlargements noted H/L: NSR, NMA, CRT < 2, Lungs clear, eupnic ABD: Non painful, no masses palpated U/G: female spayed, scar noted, no leakage or discharge MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, no masses noted, healthy hair coat CNS: Mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities Rectal: visually normal Assessment otitis ext - suspect allergies overweight Prognosis: excellent Plan: rec weight loss tresaderm 4 drops AU BID until 8/1 rec derm consult with placement SURGERY: spayed 8/1/2019 Progress exam History: Intake 7/26/19: Owner surrender, noted otitis externa, overweight. Started tresaderm. Today, 8/1: Recheck otitis Subjective: BAR, no coughing/sneezing/vomiting/diarrhea. No pruritus or discomfort noted by ACS or behavior staff. Objective: Cageside exam performed. Eyes: Clear bilaterally, no discharge Nasal Cavity: No nasal discharge. Lungs: Eupneic Musculoskeletal: Ambulatory x 4 with no appreciable lameness. Integument: Unremarkable haircoat. Neuro: Appropriate mentation. Assessment: -Otitis externa (resolved) -Overweight Prognosis: Good Plan: -Okay to d/c tresaderm -Recommend dermatology consult, weight loss with placement 8/15/2019 Progress exam-longterm stay History : Intake 7/26/19-otitis, overweight. Started on tresaderm Subjective: BARH. No csvd. Nervous, whale eyes, panting, head flipping. Objective P = wnl R = wnl BCS = 6/9 EENT: Eyes have nuclear sclerosis ou, ears clean, no nasal or ocular discharge noted Oral Exam: clean adult dentition, no oral lesions PLN: No enlargements noted H/L: NSR, NMA, CRT < 2, Lungs clear, eupneic ABD: Non painful, no masses palpated U/G: FS, no MGTs, no vulvar d/c MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, no masses noted, healthy hair coat CNS: Mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities Assessment: Overweight Prognosis: Excellent Plan: CTM while at BACC Rec weight loss and BW with placement Details on my behavior are... Behavior History Behavior Assessment Behavior during intake: Sapphire had a tense body and was lip licking during intake. Counselor was able to scan for a microchip, collar and take a picture without any issues Date of Intake: 7/26/2019 Spay/Neuter Status: Spayed Basic Information:: Sapphire is a 6 year old spayed female that has no current medical concerns that the owner is aware of. Owner had Sapphire in the home since she was born but had to surrender due to behavior Previously lived with:: 2 Adults, 2 children, 2 other dogs How is this dog around strangers?: When a stranger would come to the owners home, Sapphire was friendly and outgoing. How is this dog around children?: Sapphire lived with 2 children ages 4 and 6 and was always respectful and playful with the children in the home How is this dog around other dogs?: Sapphire with lived with other female dogs (same size). 1 female was spayed and 1 unaltered and was respectful around the other 2 dogs. Owner stated that she would someone get into a scuffle with the her litter mate but never never bit hard enough to break skin. How is this dog around cats?: Sapphire has never been around a cat so behavior is unknown Resource guarding:: Sapphire is not bothered if someone approaches her food, treats or toys Bite history:: Sapphire has a bite history with the most recent bite being 2 weeks ago om 7/12/19. Housetrained:: Yes Energy level/descriptors:: Medium Other Notes:: Sapphire is not bothered when someone would hold her or restrain her, being pushed off furniture, being disturbed while sleeping, being given a bath, having her paws touched or when an unfamiliar person would come to the owners home Has this dog ever had any medical issues?: Yes Medical Notes: Sapphire does not have any known medical concerns For a New Family to Know: Sapphire is described as friendly, affectionate and playful with a medium activity level. She likes to play with all types of toys. In the home, Sapphire liked to stay in her favorite spot. She was fed dry food only brand Wellness. Sapphire was kept both indoor/outdoor and is house trained. When left alone in the home, she would go through the garbage. Sapphire knows the cues sit, come, stay , down and paw. For exercise, she was let out in the yard to play. When on leash, she tends to pull lightly. Owner has never walked her off leash so behavior is unknown. ==================== Date of intake:: 7/26/2019 Spay/Neuter status:: Yes Means of surrender (length of time in previous home):: Owner surrender Previously lived with:: 2 Adults, 2 Children (4, 6), 2 Dogs (Large, Females) Behavior toward strangers:: Friendly and outgoing Behavior toward children:: Respectful and playful (w/resident children) Behavior toward dogs:: Respectful; Sometimes scuffled (w/resident dogs) Behavior toward cats:: Unknown Resource guarding:: None reported Bite history:: 7/12/19: Previous owner reported Sapphire and Ruby (70449) to have had a recent bite incident with a neighbor's dog that was being walked on-leash. Ruby and Sapphire were observed to escape from the backyard and began hard barking as they ran toward the neighbor's small dog and one of them bit her on the stomach. This bite resulted in two punctures and the neighbor's dog was rushed to the emergency vet to seek treatment for the wounds. 5/10/15: Previous owner reported Ruby and Sapphire to have had a bite incident with a neighbor's dog. Ruby and Sapphire were observed to escape from the backyard and began hard barking and growling as they ran toward the neighbor's dog and one of them bit her on the neck. This bite resulted in multiple punctures and the neighbor's dog was rushed to the emergency vet to seek treatment and ultimately euthanized as a result of the severity of the wounds. Housetrained:: Yes Energy level/descriptors:: Sapphire is described as friendly, affectionate and playful with a medium level of energy. Summary:: Leash Walking Strength and pulling: Moderate-hard pulling Reactivity to humans: None Reactivity to dogs: None Leash walking comments: Sociability Loose in room (15-20 seconds): Neutral body, tail wagging, ears back, panting, approaches readily, jumps up softly onto handler, accepts contact, licks handler Call over: Approaches with coaxing; Distracted, stays near door Sociability comments: Handling Soft handling: Neutral-tense body, tail wagging, ears erect, head tense, leans into handler, panting, lip licking, distracted by outside noises, accepts all contact Exuberant handling: Neutral-tense body, tail wagging, ears erect, head tense, leans into handler, panting, lip licking, distracted by outside noises, accepts all contact, shakes off Handling comments: Arousal Jog: Engages in play with handler, soft and loose; On second pass, jumps up onto door, seeking exit Arousal comments: Knock Knock Comments: Paces, pants, whining, lip licking and pulls hard toward door when assistant exits; No response to knock; Pulls hard toward door seeking exit when assistant enters, does not solicit attention Toy Toy comments: No interest; Distracted by door and seeking exit Summary:: According to Sapphire's previous owner, she lived with other female dogs (same size). 1 female was spayed and 1 unaltered and was respectful around the other 2 dogs. The owner stated that she would sometimes get into a scuffle with her littermate but did not break the skin. 7/27: Due to Sapphire's potential legal hold status, only a gate greet was conducted with a novel male dog. She greets the male at the gate but is wary to interact with handlers and the other dog. She paces the pens seeking an exit. Summary (1):: Sapphire understands the cues for "sit," "come," "stay," "down" and "paw." Date of intake:: 7/26/2019 Summary:: Tense, lip licked; Allowed all handling Date of initial:: 7/26/2019 Summary:: Somewhat timid; Allowed all handling ENERGY LEVEL:: Sapphire has been observed to exhibit a medium level of energy during her interactions in the care center. We cannot be certain of her behavior in a home environment, but we recommend that she be provided daily mental and physical stimulation as an outlet for her energy. BEHAVIOR DETERMINATION:: New Hope Only Behavior Asilomar: TM - Treatable-Manageable Recommendations:: No children (under 13),Place with a New Hope partner Recommendations comments:: No children (under 13): Due to Sapphire's reported bite history and observed level of anxiety, we feel she would be best set up to succeed in an adult-only home at this time. Place with a New Hope partner: Although she displays social behavior when interacting with staff members, Sapphire has been observed to exhibit a high level of anxiety during her interactions. Due to these observations, as well as her multiple-bite history toward other dogs, we feel she would be best set up to succeed if placed with an experienced rescue partner who can help manage these behaviors and decompress in a more stable environment, prior to permanent placement in an adult-only home. Force-free, reward based training only is advised when introducing or exposing Sapphire to new and unfamiliar situations, as well as utilizing guidance from a qualified, professional trainer/behaviorist. Potential challenges: : Anxiety,Strength/leash pulling,Bite history (dog) Potential challenges comments:: Bite history (dog): Sapphire has been reported by her previous owner to have had two bite incidents with two different dogs. Both incidents occurred when both Ruby (70449) and Sapphire had escaped from the yard and bit a neighbor's dog, resulting in multiple punctures. (SEE BITE HISTORY). Please refer to the handout for Bite history (dog). Anxiety: Sapphire exhibits anxious behavior during her interactions in the care center, where she has been observed to pant, pace, whine, seek an exit and is easily distracted by outside noises. Please refer to the handout for Generalized Anxiety. Strength/leash pulling: Sapphire was observed to display leash pulling due to her strength. Please refer to the handout on Strength/leash pulling. SAPPHIRE IS RESCUE ONLY…..TO SAVE THIS PUP YOU MUST FILL OUT APPLICATIONS WITH AT LEAST 3 NEW HOPE RESCUES. PLEASE HURRY!!! IF YOU CAN FOSTER OR ADOPT THIS PUP, PLEASE PM OUR PAGE FOR ASSISTANCE. WE CAN PROVIDE YOU WITH LINKS TO APPLICATIONS WITH NEW HOPE RESCUES WHO ARE CURRENTLY PULLING FROM THE NYC ACC. PLEASE SHARE THIS DOG FOR A HOME TO SAVE HER LIFE.

[shibuemiyuu]

Desires - Hakuoki Fanfiction - Chapter 14

Hi Guys! Sorry for not updating last week. I was packed with piles of works and got something to do that required my full attention. Here’s the update!

I love the scene that the picture told about. I’ve seen the scene in the movie first, Hakuoki: Kyoto Ranbu. And when Otomate also included this scene into the Shinkai series, it really makes me happy! 

All the editing credit goes to @impracticaldemon and @nalufever​ :D

Just read and enjoy the story. Here goes!

Chapters of the story:

Prequel - Prologue - I - II - III - IV - V - VI - VII - VIII - IX - X - XI - XII - XIII - Omake

@hijichiweek @kirakirachiizuru

Miyuu

-XIV-

Chizuru stood in front of the stove to check if the rice was cooked enough or not.

'Hm… It needs five more minutes to be done.' After that she took the vegetables that she had washed before and began to chop them. She worked alone inside the kitchen. It wasn't her shift to work in the kitchen, but she decided to prepare the food for the others, for all the Shinsengumi's members. Why though? Because the others were busy with the preparation for the upcoming battle. The Shinsengumi were in the middle of a war, which later would be known as the Battle of Toba-Fushimi.

While preparing the food (she wanted to make onigiri), Chizuru's mind drifted to the events that happened not too long ago. In the short span of time between her encounter with Sannan and, ahem, her little intimate moment with Hijikata (she could feel the blush that crept to her cheeks; she always felt giddy and embarrassed when she remembered that event) and now, even more events had happened.

There was movement in the political world. An order was given to begin the Imperial Restoration. The Shogunate era had come to an end. The Emperor would be restored to power and his court would once again rule the nation. The position of Shogun was abolished and Kyoto's Military and Judiciary Commissioner positions were eliminated. All that the Shinsengumi had fought for and believed was falling to pieces...

Also, Kondou and Okita were wounded. Kondou got shot when he was on his way back to the Shinsengumi Headquarters from Nijo Castle. He was riding a horse with some of the members walking beside him, when out of nowhere there had been a gunshot and next thing Kondou knew his right chest was burning with pain, blood was pouring from his chest and he was collapsing onto his horse. His wound was severe enough to threaten his life back then.

No one knew who shot the bullet, but it was highly suspected that the one who did it was someone from the Satsuma and Choshu Alliance.

And for Okita... He became a rasetsu. Apparently, he heard the news of Kondō being shot. Hijikata didn't want for the First Captain of the Shinsengumi to know about this news, but word spread around the compound before the fukuchou could stop it. Then, one night when Chizuru came to Okita's room to check on his condition (Hijikata asked Chizuru to check on Okita), she found the room was empty. She also found an empty vial with small traces of its previous contents beside Okita's bed. Chizuru knew then that Okita had drunk the ochimizu and likely went out to get revenge for Kondou. Everyone that had known Okita long enough must have known his affection toward the Chief of the Shinsengumi. It wasn't a strange thing for him to seek out vengeance for Kondou Isami. Chizuru exited Okita's room and brought the empty vial. When she met Hijikata she told him the situation and showed him what she had found. The two took off immediately, looking for the newborn rasetsu. They found him unconscious on an empty street with gunshot wounds. There were also a few corpses of Satsuma and Chosu soldiers scattered around Okita's unconscious body. It looked like Okita had acted in revenge for the attach on Kondou, but the question was, who had injured the rasetsu? Later, Hijikata carried Okita to the Headquarters and he asked Yamazaki to treat Okita's wound.

When Chizuru looked at Hijikata later the same night when they stood not too far outside Okita's room, she had a hunch that the fukuchou was blaming himself inwardly. Even though his face didn't show any of his emotions, the clenched hands and the way his eyes looked straight ahead, cold and sharp at unseen enemies, showed how Hijikata was suffering inside. She wanted to ease Hijikata's heavy feelings, as he had with her previously. But she also knew that if she blatantly expressed her worries for him, he wouldn't admit it. So, in her subtle way, she dared herself to brush her hand against his clenched one. He turned his head to look at her. She didn't speak or turn her head to look back at him. She just stood in silence beside him.

Nothing happened and they were in that position for several minutes. Hijikata then turned to walk away, but Chizuru could hear the solemn word which he said only above a whisper before he left.

"Arigatou."

Since her intimate moment with Hijikata, even though her bond was still incomplete, somehow… she could feel that something had changed. Like how with just that one word she knew that Hijikata's inward turmoil had lessened, and he was not as tense and hurting as before. She knew that the man had caught the feelings that she conveyed but didn't say it out loud. That he was not alone; that he could tell her what was on his mind, if he wanted; that if he pondered on the blame and guilt too long, it wouldn't do him any good. The pull to complete the bond was there, as strong as before. But again, somehow the bond had become something that wasn't a bother anymore. Before, she always dreaded that the bond would be a hindrance and would trouble their life. She remembered the atmosphere and the high tension in the compound during the first couple of months after they had 'accidentally' bonded at Shimabara. She tried as hard as she could to control her desire to be always with Hijikata. It was hard, but she could manage it in the end.

Chizuru didn't know that the reason she could control her desire for Hijikata -at last- was because the man himself had become able to control his desire for her. Hijikata's talk with Kondou when the chief visited him in his room had helped him released a little bit of his built up tension, which had built up because of the secret that he couldn't speak of to a soul: of the fact that he and Chizuru had slept together. He could manage his feelings again after that talk. Neither realized that it was because of each other that they had managed to control their desire. And it would be only much later that these two would learn and know that their feelings were affecting each other, because of the bond.

"Ouch!" Chizuru cut one of her fingers. A trickle of blood flowed from the cut. She brought her cut finger to her mouth and sucked the blood that came out. The blood tasted bitter in her mouth; just like her feelings when the New Year came that time.

When the New Year was just around the corner, the Satsuma and Choshu Alliance formed an army and marched on the capital. There were some matters that the alliance found intolerable from the resigned Shogunate and that's why they decided to attack Kyoto. In response, the Shinsengumi moved to the Fushimi magistrate's office, and prepared for war. They had pledged their loyalty to the Shogun and they would serve their masters untill the end.

It dampened Chizuru's feelings to hear that the Shinsengumi would go to war. She had never liked violence, much less a war, where many people would get injured and some of them would lose their lives. In all her life, the time which she spent with the Shinsengumi's members was one of the happiest times of her life, but it was also one of the saddest times that she had experienced. Nevertheless, she never showed this weak side of herself to the members. She didn't have any right to be weak. She really, really, really, wanted to help the Shinsengumi. They were her family. With the little support she could offer, she tried her best to help the Shinsengumi's members for the war. Since Yamazaki was busy assisting the captains in the battle, Chizuru took over his job to treat the wounded soldiers. And she also decided to take kitchen duty as her responsibility. She wouldn't be able to help in the front line, that's why she would support the members from behind, to provide any need they might have.

Chizuru pulled her finger from her mouth. The blood had stopped flowing. And because of her being an Oni, the cut was already healed without leaving a scar. Her thoughts drifted again to her talk with Heisuke from the other night. She met the Eighth Captain of the Shinsengumi when she came to visit Okita outside his room.

"Heisuke-kun," Chizuru greeted Heisuke.

"Chizuru? What are you doing?" Heisuke asked her, while he closed the door of Okita's room.

"I came to check on Okita-san. Yamazaki-kun is busy with assisting the other captains so I thought I could take over his job to look after the others' health," answered Chizuru.

"Oh…. Souji is sleeping. I came to have a little chat with him earlier. You know, about, 'that'  thing."

Chizuru knew what Heisuke referred to, about Okita being a rasetsu now. Hijikata had asked Okita once where he got the Ochimizu, after the latter regained his consciousness and was well enough to be asked (interrogated). Sannan had denied that he was the one who gave Okita the Ochimizu. But when Hijikata asked about this, the latter didn't say whom he had received the ochimizu from. He just said that Sannan was not the one who gave him the ochimizu.

Heisuke looked at the yard in front of Okita's room. He let out a small sigh and said, "Souji told me that he drank the ochimizu and became a rasetsu because he wanted to be useful. His illness has hindered him to be useful for the Shinsengumi, for helping Kondou-san." His face turned wistful, "I know exactly how he feels about wanting to be useful for the Shinsengumi. This place… is the only place that has accepted us for who we are. The only place where we…. where I can call home." Heisuke finished in a longing tone.

Chizuru had heard the rumor about Heisuke's background story, about him being an illegitimate child from Todou's family. She didn't give much thought about the rumor. Although she couldn't do much with Heisuke's family issues, she could relate to finding the Shinsengumi a home. She knew that feeling very much.

"That's why I want to be useful for the Shinsengumi. I don't want to die yet, even though I have to become a Rasetsu in the end." Heisuke said the rasetsu word in distaste. Him becoming one didn't mean that it would change his mind of what kind of creature the rasetsu was; a monster.

Talking about Rasetsu made Chizuru remember the news that she just heard. "Heisuke-kun, is it true that Sannan-san wants to augment the Rasetsu squads?"

Heisuke turned to Chizuru with an uneasy look. His face was clouded over. "Ehm, eh, yeah…. Of course," Heisuke said in heavy tone.

"What do you think of this matter, Heisuke-kun?"

"M-me?" Heisuke was surprised by Chizuru's question. No one had ever asked his opinion about Sannan's actions regarding the Rasetsu squad. Sannan was the one that usually handled every matter that related to the rasetsu. So, he was caught off guard by Chizuru asking his opinion. "Well, I… Hmm…"

Heisuke averted his eyes from Chizuru. He looked everywhere but at the woman. Of course, he had his thoughts about this issue. He never voiced his thoughts out loud because it contradicted the things that he had done as a rasetsu and he felt that he was being a hypocrite. 'But Chizuru will never judge you for whatever things you have done.' His inner thoughts told himself. He looked back at Chizuru. The female oni was still at the same position with the same expression as when she had asked the question.

"You want my honest opinion?"

Chizuru nodded.

"I don't agree with most of Sannan-san's decisions about the rasetsu squad. But, I am a rasetsu. I did decide to drink the ochimizu, to prolong my life. But… I'm not gonna lie, I'm worried about what will happen to me. If I don't do this, what can I do? Isn't this the purpose of the existence of the rasetsu?

"The rasetsu squad already exists. We can't pretend it doesn't. And this is the right time to make the squad useful. It doesn't matter what I think of this matter. I still have to do it and I will do it."

Thinking about the rasetsu always made Chizuru feel guilty. Fortunately, she could control this feeling and didn't dwell on the guilt longer than she should; courtesy of Hijikata.

She continued her cooking while wondering how long the war would last this time - and hope that it would end soon.

---

Hijikata was in a bad mood. If not for the dire situation that they were in, he would surely follow what his mind told him to do.

To punch everyone that dared to cross their line of action. Either they were stupid or foolhardy, he didn't want to know. One thing he knew was they had tried his patience on the things that they shouldn't have.

Who was Hijikata angry with? What had they done to anger the fukuchou and turn on his oni switch?

He made a mental list of who had grated on his nerves the most, for the past several weeks.

The first was Okita.

Honestly, it wasn't a strange thing anymore for Hijikata to get annoyed with Okita. Their history had gone back to the Shieikan's time. But this time, it took the cake. The baka had turned into a RASETSU, for a reason that the fukuchou could -somehow- understand. Hijikata knew that Okita wanted to get revenged for Kondou. He also wanted to get his hands to the someone who had made Kondou like that and he would make sure the person responsible for Kondou's injury would wish for death rather than meet him. BUT, the baka had beat him to revenge. Not only that, he had been shot with a silver bullet - the weakness of the rasetsu. And for whatever damn reason, Okita didn't want to tell him who had given him the Ochimizu and who had shot him. Good thing he didn't lose his composure and strangle the sick man right there and then.

He had a hunch. The person who gave Okita the Ochimizu and later shot him with the silver bullet was the same person, whoever the jerk was.

The second was the Satsuma and Choshu Alliance.

He really didn't understand what else these greedy people still wanted. With only that silly reason, of something that they found intolerable from the resigned Shogunate, they incited a war. As soon as Hijikata heard the news, he called Saitou from his assigned duty and gathered the entire Shinsengumi group into the assembly hall to give the direct order that they would be going to Fushimi. They would prepare for war, a battle between them and the Satsuma and Choshu Alliance. Kondou was still bedridden then, so he took over as vice commander to lead the force.

How greedy and hungry for power could these people be? What else did they want? Not to mention the foreigners who were increasing each day in Kyoto, which Hijikata didn't like one bit. The war that frankly speaking should be easy, with victory was already in their hands because of their advantages, was gone, because the enemy used westerner's weapons and tactics. In the end, the Shinsengumi were at a tremendous disadvantage with their traditional weapons only; using katana and spear. If they were fighting sword against sword, the Shinsengumi would emerge as champions. Being samurais were not in name only, their skills were top notch.

Hijikata gritted his teeth and closed his eyes when he remembered the third person who had pissed him off.

In the middle of the war, when the Shinsengumi was in the Fushimi magistrate's office, an uninvited guest came. Well, two uninvited guests, to be exact.

The self proclaimed demon princess; Sen-hime and her bodyguard, the ex-maiko, Kimigiku.

The princess came to tell him about the Shinsengumi Rasetsu recent activity; of them attacking innocent people for sparring partners and of them murdering people on the street to test their strength. And it came as shocking, dismaying news to Hijikata. Sannan had told him about his thoughts of wanting to augment the squad. But he didn't know how he would augment the Rasetsu. When the fukuchou learned Sannan's method to strengthen the Rasetsu, honestly, he was speechless. Sen and Kimigiku strongly suggested that Hijikata disband the Rasetsu squad.

'It is not as easy as it sounds, damnit.'

Sannan and Heisuke, also now Okita, had become rasetsu. What should he do? What about his companions, his comrades, if he were to disband…. to kill the Shinsengumi rasetsu?

Then the princess DARED to ask Chizuru again to come and join with them. Hadn't they already covered this issue the last time these two visited the Shinsengumi? Sen-hime said that now the situation had changed (about the upcoming war). That's why she came and asked Chizuru, again, to leave the Shinsengumi and join them.

Yeah, the war would soon break out in Kyoto. Yeah, Chizuru was a woman and she would maybe get injured - or the worst, she could die (Kami forbid that). And yeah, it would probably be safer for her to go with these two female oni. He knew and understood their situations already, thank you very much.

But…

BUT!

Hijikata felt like there was a feral animal that wanted to be released from inside. Chizuru was his. No one should ever try to take her away from him. Even though this thoughts would disturb his line later, becoming so possessive and territorial over Chizuru when the woman was not really his (Chizuru was a free woman to do whatever she wanted), his instinct, his desire was the one that compelled his actions. He sent a cold and murderous glare to the two female oni. He didn't say a word. But the two must have caught his message loud and clear with the way he looked at them. In the end, Chizuru didn't go with them.

'Good riddance.'

The words flashed in Hijikata's mind when he saw Sen-hime and Kimigiku leaving the magistrate's office.

Later, for the rest of the day, Hijikata followed Chizuru around wherever she went. He even debated with himself whether he should stay at Chizuru's side, and sleep near the woman when night came. The pull to be near with Chizuru was very, extremely strong...

In the end, he opted to train his body until morning near Chizuru's room at the Fushimi magistrate's office. This or he had to take a cold bath to calm his body and mind. And with his past records, it was obvious which one he would take.

And that was the top three on Hijikata's list of who had grated on his nerves the most. No one else was brave enough to get close to the fukuchou when his oni mode was in full blast. Well, except for one person.

"Hijikata-san."

Hijikata was sitting alone at an empty table in the Fushimi magistrate's office hall. He looked to his right where Chizuru was standing, her hands carrying a tray of onigiris.

"Please take one of the onigiri," Chizuru offered to Hijikata.

He was hungry. He hadn't eaten anything since yesterday. Nevertheless, if there were food, he would prioritize wounded soldiers to be given food first. Then the other Shinsengumi members, and then the captains. He always insisted on being the last person to be look after. He was their leader, and it was his responsibility to take care of his subordinates.

"Give to the others first. I can still manage," said Hijikata.

"Don't worry, I have made enough for the entire force," replied Chizuru with a small smile. "The others won't take the food if you don't take yours first. So, please."

Hijikata contemplated Chizuru's words, then he looked around the hall. All the captains that were in the room (Harada, Saitou, Nagakura, Inoue) stood not far from Hijikata's table. They nodded to agree with Chizuru's words. His eyes returned to the woman beside him.

"What about you? Have you eaten?"

"Like I've said already, I made enough for the entire force. My share was included in the count. And yes, I have eaten my share." Chizuru assured Hijikata.

Growl~

"Shinpachi, can't you do something about that sound?" Sano teased his fellow captain. The growling sound was from Nagakura's stomach.

"Shut up! I can't help if I'm hungry and my stomach is asking to be fed," complained the Second Captain of the Shinsengumi. "Hijikata-san, please take the onigiri. If not, the others will not let me eat. And we know that you haven't eaten anything today. If you don't want to be confined in the same room with Souji, you'd better take care of your body in this bloody war."

Saitou nudged Nagakura with the hilt of his sword for his disrespectful way of talking to the fukuchou - hard.

"Itai!" yelped the brawny man, "What the hell was that for, Saitou?!"

"Please take the onigiri, fukuchou," said Saitou, ignoring Nagakura's exclamation.

"Toshi-san, Isami-san won't be happy if you neglect your health," added Inoue.

Hijikata sighed, and in the end took one of the onigiri, but he didn't eat.

"I will take one then," said Hijikata in a solemn tone. "Thank you for the food, Yukimura."

"You are welcome, Hijikata-san. Don't forget to eat the food." Chizuru walked to the other captains to give them their shares of onigiri.

Hijikata's eyes followed Chizuru's movements until the woman was out of his sight. He looked at the onigiri in his hand.

It was warm…

And somehow his bad mood had lessened a bit.

---

Growl~

"As I thought, you were lying when you said that you'd eaten already."

Chizuru whipped her head around to look at the voice's owner who stood not far behind her. The woman knew by heart who the voice belonged to without looking. "Hijikata-san."

Chizuru had been washing the dishes that she had used for her cooking at the back of the magistrate's building. Then suddenly her stomach had let out a growling sound - that was when Hijikata had come into the picture. She felt her cheeks turn red, embarrassed from getting caught in her lie.

"Sorry..."

Chizuru didn't realize that the fukuchou had followed her since she'd left the hall to distribute the rest of the onigiris. Something had told Hijikata that Chizuru was lying to him when she'd said that she had eaten.

"What are you saying sorry for?" Hijikata approached Chizuru, "It's me who should say sorry for not realizing your burden."

"I'm okay!" Chizuru said frantically, "You don't have to worry about me. And… I'm not lying when I said I've eaten. It's just…" Chizuru looked at her fidgeting feet.

"Just what?"

"Just… Not enough to satiate my hunger." Her cheeks got more red at her little confession. They were in the middle of a war. They didn't know how long the war would last and their supplies of food were limited. She prioritized the Shinsengumi over herself - she could manage, and so far no one else had noticed her actions.

'I'm not a good liar to begin with. How foolish of me to think that I can deceive a perceptive man like Hijikata-san with my lies.' Chizuru berated herself inwardly.

"Is that the truth, or are you just getting better at telling lies?" Hijikata inquired.

"It's the truth," Chizuru looked up into Hijikata's inquiring eyes, "I was never good at telling lies and you know it." For any lies the woman had ever told Hijikata, most of it was found out immediately - especially if he was the one that she had lied to. This time was no exception.

"Okay, I believe you," said Hijikata. Then he reached from inside of his haori and took out the onigiri from before. He handed the food to Chizuru, "Eat this."

"No! That's your share! You haven't eaten anything since yesterday." Chizuru rejected the offer and shook her head vigorously. "I'm okay, Hijikata-san. It's not a big deal. I have been able to hold my hunger since the war started and I know I can also manage this time too."

Hijikata raised one of his eyebrows at Chizuru's last sentence. "You have been holding back your hunger this whole time?"

Chizuru bit her lower lip. It hadn't been her intention to let Hijikata know about this information. In her panicked state of imagining Hijikata would not eat, Chizuru's mind jumbled and she didn't filter her words. It would be terrible if he gave his food to her and failed to replenish his energy; this was very dangerous while they were in a war.

Even though it was subtle, she could hear the angry tone that laced Hijikata's tone.

"...Sorry."

Hijikata wanted to face-palm.

"Don't say sorry if you don't mean the word," reprimanded the fukuchou, "Next time, if you feel hungry, don't cut your shares for the others. This is an order."

"...I understand," said Chizuru in a meek voice.

Hijikata opened his shares of onigiri (it was covered with a bamboo leaves) and divided the food into two. He ate one part and gave the other to Chizuru, "Now, eat this."

"But-"

"Or should I shove it into your mouth?" Hijikata ignored Chizuru's protest. He stared at the petite woman unblinking.

Chizuru took the rest of the onigiri from Hijikata's hand reluctantly. She stared into Hijikata's hard gaze. "Arigatou-gozaimashu," Chizuru said. She took a little bite of the ongiri. When she swallowed the food, she then realized how hungry she was. In less than a minute the onigiri was gone.

Hijikata wanted to laugh at how eagerly Chizuru took every bite.

'She looks like a chipmunk with those puffy red cheeks when she ate,' Hijikata thought amusedly. When Chizuru finished the food, she didn't realize there were some grains of rice stuck to her cheeks. Hijikata stretched his right hand and wiped the rice from Chizuru's cheeks.

"You eat like there's no tomorrow, you know," Hijikata said with a wry smile, while he ate the leftover rice. The gesture made Chizuru's cheeks redden (she swore she was a living tomato from the red of her cheeks) if that was possible. A beautiful shade of red, in Hijikata's mind.

"...Sumimasen," said Chizuru, embarrassed.

"It's good that you know. Just don't try this foolish act again. You are part of the Shinsengumi. We will survive this war together. I promise."

'It will be over my dead body if I let something to happen to you.'

"Hai," replied Chizuru.

"And don't over exert yourself," Hijikata patted Chizuru's head then turned to leave the woman.

"You too Hijikata-san."

Hijikata didn't turn around to reply and kept walking. He waved one of his hands instead and that was a good enough answer for Chizuru.

"Please be safe," Chizuru whispered her quiet prayer, "all of you."

---

During the war, the Fushimi magistrate's office was set on fire and the Shinsengumi had no choice but to retreat from Kyoto. Cannons pounded the Fushimi magistrate's office and the ground of the building shook with each impact. The situation was terrifying.

The decision to retreat was a hard one. Hijikata had to swallow a bitter pill making that decision. If they got stubborn and stayed to continue the war, the Shinsengumi could be wiped out. It was a dire life or death situation. All the captains said to Hijikata that the situation was not in their favor. They had done all they could, but the result was negative. There was nothing else they could do…. Except retreat. They were helpless against the firearms of the Satsuma and Chosu Alliance.

The Shinsengumi was Hijikata's life. His and Kondou's dream. That's why being defeated was hard to accept. The fukuchou ordered the retreat with a long, ragged sigh. His knuckles turned white. His eyes were burning with fury.

"We're pulling back," commanded Hijikata, "But we haven't lost. They will pay for this."

Chizuru didn't know if the others noticed Hijikata's eyes were not only burning with fury. She could see the bitter and desperate agony behind those purple eyes.

They couldn't win this war alone. They needed reinforcements. Hijikata's intention was to send Yamazaki or Shimada to ask Yodo Castle for help. The castle's master was known to have an allegiance with the Shogunate after all.

"Please, let me be the one to ask for the reinforcements."

The woman had heard the conversation from the beginning. To be honest, all the members were exhausted and barely had energy to walk back to headquarters. Not to mention many of them were injured. That's why she offered herself for this task.

"No," Hijikata answered.

"Please, Hijikata-san!" implored Chizuru, "Please, let me help! It's not a hard task. I just have to go to the castle and ask for Yodo's master to send reinforcements. It's not like I'll be throwing away my life or have to fight a dangerous enemy."

"..." Hijikata furrowed his brows, deep in thought.

"Toshi-san, I will go with Yukimura-kun," said Inoue, cutting into Hijikata's thoughts. "It should be okay if one of the captains go, isn't it? Even though it's just me."

"...Alright. I will wait for the good news you two will bring." Hijikata agreed in the end with a heavy heart. Chizuru and Inoue soon departed for Yodo Castle.

There was this uneasy feeling that tugged at Hijikata's heart. The fukuchou hoped that his decision to let Chizuru go to Yodo Castle to ask for reinforcements was the correct one.

He didn't know how wrong he would be. Not long after Chizuru and Inoue left the magistrate's office, Hijikata received news that the master of the Yodo Castle had changed his allegiance from the Shogunate to the Imperial forces.

He felt his heart drop to his stomach. He left to go after Chizuru and Inoue after hearing the news. He had never run as fast as he did at that moment.

'CHIZURU!'

 To be continued