#and jason is having the time of his life

[jaxon-exe]

Dp x dc prompt

So this starts with Danny becoming the ghost king on his 18th birthday and almost immediately every power-hungry ghost in existence starts proposing to him. At first he just ignores it but after the 10th time someone tries to kidnap him to marry him Greek god style, he’s fucking sick of it and goes to Clockwork for help.

He’s not much help. The only way for other people to stop trying to marry him is if he’s already married. What’s more, because he’s the king of the infinite realms, it has to be someone that’s considered a citizen of the Infinite Realms. (Like he can marry someone that’s still alive but they wouldn’t count and people will just keep trying to marry him) CW also warns him that people will try and kill anyone he marries if they can so a living person isn’t really ideal. The only bit of real helpfulness he does provide is a list of non-evil non-power-hungry citizens so he can have an easier time finding someone.

So Danny takes the list and starts crossing of names (like Johnny, even tho the guy won’t abuse the power of being the ghost princess, kitty would kill Danny for good this time) when he comes across the perfect candidate.

Jason Todd (Robin/Red Hood)

He’s been to Gotham before, knows the Robins all do good work and knows the Red Hood is already a good and fair ruler of his criminal underground. Plus the guy could definitely fight off any ghost trying to kill him even without the power boost and some helpful weapons Danny would give him if he agrees. Plus he has the perfect bargaining chip to get the guy to help by offering to fix the corrupted ectoplasm in him (not that he wasn’t gonna do that anyway when he had the time to but Hood didn’t need to know that)

So Danny hops over to Gotham and after quickly getting permission from Lady Gotham (she’s very protective of her Knights) heads over to crime ally and pitches the idea to Red Hood.

Which basically goes like-

Danny: so I give u, the title of prince, access to the Infinite Realms whenever u wish, a sweet private wing in my castle, any of the op ghost weapons in the castles armoury and a fix for ur rage problems and u marry me so I stop getting people trying to propose to me in increasingly more annoying ways :)

Jason, a literature geek with a secret desire to be the protagonist in a shitty YA romance: u had me at Prince

So the two of then jump over to the Infinite Realms to get married thinking it’ll take 30 minutes top only to learn that CW left out that a Royal wedding has to take at minimum a week otherwise no one will consider the Marriage valid. So the two, not backing out at this point, join in on the week of parties and celebrations without putting much more thought into it.

Meanwhile back in Gotham, after not having Red Hood check in after his patrol, Oracle searches CCTV and finds Jason having a conversation with a figure that is glitching out the camera to much to identify them, then the figure seemingly grabs Jason and drags him into a portal and the two of them disappear.

So obviously the Batfam comes to the conclusion that Jason was kidnapped by some sort of magical being and calls in John. He identify the magic as that of the ghost king’s and has been hearing that the king had been looking for a bride so comes to the conclusion that Jason has been kidnapped Persephone style to be be married and is under the (wrong) conclusion that it will mean Jason can’t leave the realm of the death after.

And so the Batfam + Constantine start planing to crash a wedding.

[rboooks]

Alfred's Boy: Part 2

Bruce felt his blood pressure rise as Damian shoved another pair of swimming trucks into his cart. His youngest insisted that he needed something flattering, as his previous outfit was "functional but not attractive to the youth of today."

Damian had never cared that he wasn't up to the trends, but that was before Danny moved into the manor. Now he had to wait hours for Damian to find a satisfying outfit, knowing darn well its only because Danny mentioned he was interested in taking a dip in the inner pool.

The boy, technically being staff, felt it was essential to ask permission before taking a swim. Bruce had spent years telling Alfred he had free range over the manor, only to always have the man ask before doing anything. He hopes Danny won't develop the same habit.

He wanted the young man to feel at home with them.

His younger children- who honest to God forgot they even had a pool- had all scrambled to go swimming with Danny. Tim had practically thrown himself over the table to change from his WE suit into his swimming wear, Duke use his grappling hook to zoom up the stairs and Steph begged Cass to lend her a bikini.

Damian remained seated, despairing that his old swimming shorts had been bought by Dick the year previous. Dick had gotten him green shorts with little cats and dogs. Damian- who refused to even go near public pools- wore them to the family pool with no desire to purchase new ones since he saw no point in it.

And now he was paying the price for keeping childish wear. Personally, Bruce thought they were adorable and perfect for his fourteen-year-old son, but being two years younger than Danny gave him a terrible disadvantage, and Damian could not afford falling futher behind.

He just sat there, staring longingly at the retreating back of Alfred's assistant after telling him he had nothing to wear. Danny had told them he could join the rest another time before scurrying away to finish his cleaning of the right wing.

What else could Bruce do besides offering to take him to the nearest outlet mall and get him something nicer?

"Damian are you almost-"

"I am ready, father. Make haste to purchase our wears. Daniel must be finishing his duties, and I wish to get back." His son announced, yanking the cart out of Bruce's hand and practically running to the cashiers.

Bruce sighed.

It's not that he minded his son's crush on a boy or that it was Danny. It just felt like he shouldn't be encouraging his children to try and romance someone going through a lot.

Alfred had forbidden anyone from looking into Danny's background, and he had respected the request. There was a lot Bruce and Batman were willing to do but defying a direct order from Alfred was not one of them.

(Honesty, if Alfred ever turned evil, Bruce's contingency plan for him was simple: Die.)

Danny took his assistant butler job very seriously. Often wearing a neat and pressed suit, finishing his work in record time, well mannered and very intelligent but kept a distance from the family. Alfred also had a small wall of professionalism but he would crack a joke and be in their presence like a grandfather.

Danny only spoke when spoken to, tried to refrain from being notice and basically kept the reminder that while he liked them all he was always going to be a employee first and foremost.

Maybe it was due to his parents? Danny probably couldn't relax until he felt safe once more. Not for the first time, Bruce wondered what type of monsters the Fentons had to be to make a boy capable of discovering the Batcave without so much of a blink, flatter.

"Father!" Damian called impatiently, tapping his foot before the nervous-looking teen who what been attempting to ring him up.

The Wayne's made everyone nervous.

"Yes. Yes. Here put It on my card-" Damian snatched it out of his hand before Bruce even took it out completely from his wallet.

Suddenly his phone rings. Seeing that Damian could handle punching in the Pin, he accepted the call, not bothering to check the screen.

All his children have personalized ringtones, so only one person would cause Gun and Ships from the Hamilton musical to blare from his phone.

"Jason-"

"Bruce!" Jason yells in a wheezing voice "Tim almost drowned!"

What.

"Is he alright!?"

"He's fine!" Jason assures, voice breaking to manic cackling. "He's just really embarrassed. He forgot about the bruise on his back, so when he tried to do cannonballs with Danny, he cramped up. Danny had to help him out of the pool and then lectured him about jumping in the deep end because of peer pressure. He thinks Tim can't swim, Bruce!"

Bruce felt a headache building behind his eyes. "Jason-"

"Wait, wait, there's more! Do you know how Steph never wears bikinis because she is uncomfortable? Danny clocked that as soon as she walked in and offered her the old t-shirt he was wearing. Took it off right then and there, and do you know what Steph did!? She walked into a wall! A wall Bruce!"

"Jason-"

"Duke hasn't stopped staring at Danny. I think his brain is in a permanent blue screen. I'm actually thinking he's-"

"Jason!" Bruce cut in which finally seemed to get his second oldest attention. Don't get him wrong, he was thrilled that Jason was spending so much time around the manor but the constant updates on his children tripping over themselves for Danny was not well for his heart. "I think you need to make sure your siblings give Danny some space. The poor chum might not be comfortable-"

"I'm not helping you stop Danny from finding true love, old man"

Bruce rolled his eyes as his son hung up. He can't wait for school to start up again. Danny will be homeschooled by his own request and Alfred's agreement but at least most of his kids will not be around him as often.

His phone started playing Sk8er Boy and he considered not answering. He really did but honestly his son probably needed him.

With a sigh he presses the accept call button "Tim-"

"He thinks I can't swim Bruce! He banned me from the pool!" Tim sobs and Bruce sees Damian perk up, happy Danny had put distance between one of his suitors ans himself.

Was it too late to ask Alfred if he was sure his contact Clockwork had no where else to foster Danny?

Being Batman on the night all his rouges broke out was easier then this.

( Part 1) (part 3)

[iguessthisisanewobsession]

Bruce Wayne Says ‘Never Too Old For Uppies’

Darling billionaire and former Gotham heartthrob turn DILF Bruce Wayne was spotted at his latest Gala wearing the latest season’s top designer suit.

This is of its self wasn’t surprising but the scene that unfolded sure was!

Now it isn’t a surprise for anyone who has been keeping track of the posts and polls about the most attractive men in America that Mr. Winner of 3 years in a row is quite ripped under all those layers he usually wears and when asked why he exercises to such a degree that it could rival the big bat, Mr. Wayne seemed to fumble for a bit before responding with a dazzling smile that he does so that he could carry all of his children.

Another reporter made comment about how all of his children were well past the age of being picked up.

Mr. Wayne proceed to state quite seriously to the reporter,

“They’re never too old for uppies.”

Apparently Mr. Wayne’s two eldest sons had heard their father’s statement as they shared a look before taking a running leap towards their dad with Dick Grayson Wayne bellowing “uppies!” In response.

Mr. Wayne, despite his well known clumsiness, caught both of his sons with a spin before calmly stating to the reporters that he had guests to talk to and then walked away with one boy sitting on each hip.

And let us remind our readers that neither men Mr. Wayne caught weigh less than an estimated 170 lbs!

The rest of the gala had our reporters spotting Mr. Wayne carrying his various children in various ways.

Message was well received, Kids are never too old for uppies, just too heavy!

But nothing less can be expected from the dad of the year.

Though, he may have competition here in Gotham, as eye witnesses have stated that they had seen our own Big Bat taking after our resident rich man.

But who can say? Maybe the two have a closer relationship than we know.

It had been stated that both Bruce Wayne and Batman have a similar physique to each-other with Batman being just slightly larger in size.

Maybe they share a workout routine?

We can only speculate.

What we can be sure of, is that Bruce loves his kids and would be willing to do anything to make them smile.

As always I am Vicky Vale.

*there are two photos shown along with the article. One of Bruce Wayne carting a staggering number of his children. With Cassandra and Damian Wayne on his shoulders, Dick Grayson Wayne and Jason Todd under each arm and Tim Drake Wayne clinging onto his front like a koala. It is noted that Duke Thomas is to the side seemingly recording the entire scene.

The second photo is of Batman with an annoyed Red Hood slung over his shoulder, trying to get loose.”

[bonchobrick]

tw: slight suicidal actions (but not really the batfam are wildly clueless to the actual context to danny's bullshit hes not suicidal--in this fic--he's dead get it RIGHT brucie)

Au where Batfam are entirely convinced that the new vigilante in Gotham, danny, has time travel powers because he can vanish away from their senses completely

This becomes a problem however when 

Bruce searches for him because wants to save Jason. Danny can save Jason not in the--im a time traveler and i can bring him or you back from or to the past--but in the, I’m a ghost king and have domain over the dead haha

Batfam become really concerned watching Phantom fight because “if he has time travel powers why doesn’t he avoid getting hit every time he can” and get worried phantom is purposefully letting himself get hurt

Danny in all honesty is just vibin the entire time while the batfam is going crazy at every sliver of info they get about danny because like

okay hes a time traveler thats established they got over that

This guy whos somehow been able to stop and rehabilitate rouges (ghosts) in his town is 15??

he may be the kindest most self destructive kid they've ever met like who immediately agrees to help people who were trying to capture and interogate him because he 'thinks we are better than the last billionaire who did this' what the FUCK

Oh yeah and they find out as a bonus in the end that his normal unpowered form he is a teen with black hair and blue eyes (bruce no no dont do it dont--)

---

Bruce is losing his mind

Okay so at the start of this there’s an unknown vigilante (danny) that Batman tends to bump into. Except Batman isn’t sure what he is.

Every time they run into each other Batman can tell there should just be a person beside him but before he gets a glimpse and opens his eyes to empty fresh air.

A vigilante that can vanish before their very eyes?

What do the bats think about this?

They think this vigilante can control time and is doing that to sneak out of their gaze.

Now here’s where the funny part comes in

Bruce goes on a wild hunt to search for the vigilante with a plan. To make them turn back time so that he can save his son.

The problem with this?

Danny is not a time traveler most days–scratch that he's not one at all. He can save his son Jason though, in fact he wants to, it’s just he needs to figure out a way to do this whilst not blowing his cover that he is the goddamn ghost king.

So he pretends that he does have time powers and that he just… uh… needs a minute to figure them out… yeah that!

Cue Batfam getting progressively more worried about Danny because ‘if he could turn back time—why doesn’t he avoid those hits?’

They all kinda think Danny is like purposefully hurting himself so now Danny is forced to eat breakfast with them and sleep at their manor.  I mean he’s confused at why they always look so worried about something but he’ll make sure Batman’s son gets home soon! Plus the rich people temporary-living-situation without all the ‘I want to adopt you’ billionaire bullshit is pretty sweet!!

(somewhere in the ghost zone jason is tearing up laughing at the batfam as they struggle to not burst into flames trying to figure out danny-- like for christs sake they think the ghost king is an american doctor who and are trying to get him to spill where his tardis is)

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

Bruce, not ready to wake up: Just five more…

Tim, bored, irritated, and sensing an opportunity to sow the seeds of chaos:

Tim: *races into the kitchen*

Tim: You guys will never believe what Bruce just said!

Damian: Well?

Duke: What did he say?

Steph: You can’t leave us hanging like that.

Tim: He said five MORE.

*collective gasp*

Steph: I had better not be one of those five.

Damian: Why does Father get to adopt five more children and I can not adopt five more cats? Cats are much easier to care for than people.

Tim, shrugging: I’m sure he’d be fine with it.

[thejasontoddarchives]

Brothers in Blood will trick you into thinking it’s just a silly crack scenario brought to life and Jason just concocted this plan for shits and giggles. Then you get a single page like this:

Nightwing (1996-) #121

that reveals he wanted/desperately needed shreds of acceptance even if it was coated in layers of resentment irritation and doubt after going through this:

Batman (1940-) #650

And it had to be from someone who isn’t Bruce

[mikakuna]

the absolute horror and offence in his face at alfred taking away his dinner is perfectly captured

[oifaaa]

Been thinking about Jason's villain era again and him dying his hair ginger not only to fuck with Dick but also bc Catherines hair was ginger

[avamedera]

Dick : When I was your age- Jason, mocking Dick : When I was your height. Dick : Dick : Listen here you little shit-

[dickheadcanons]

the secret key to writing in character dick grayson is that dick does not get enjoyment out of relaxing or doing fun things. its a hard mindset to understand because it's the opposite of what you or i as fandom people experience, but Dick is never shown to do things for fun. if he's watching a movie or playing a game, it's almost always to spend time with other people, not because that's his impulse (and lowkey he sometimes ruins it for other people by never being able to turn off his brain)

now, this is not to say that he's unhappy, or that he doesn't experience happiness in his day to day. but he doesnt get that from the things that we, as comic book readers and fanfiction writers, get enjoyment from.

Dick is the definition of a workaholic. His only enjoyment comes from a job well done, helping people, and sometimes adrenaline (as his only real canon hobby is...skydiving)

Further reading: Flash Plus Nightwing (1997) (hating on the Hardy Boys)

Nightwing (2016) #43 (being unable to take a night off)

Nightwing (1996) #140 (skydiving)

The Titans (1999) #3 (being a terrible film watcher)

[hood-ex]

Having a Homer Simpson "d'oh!" moment because I missed/forgot some pivotal information on the Zur situation that happened a few issues ago.

Zur created Failsafe and erased the memory of how to stop him. He also created a batcave under Bruce's batcave. (Batman #127 / Batman #136)

Bruce literally mentioned that Zur "poisoned the well" and put doubt in Bruce's head and heart. Bruce questioned, "What else has he done?" (Batman #136)

Bruce locked Zur away in his mind, and they were at odds with each other because Bruce didn't want Zur taking over, and Zur wanted out because he perceived Bruce's insecurities and doubts as his mind being "under attack." He wanted out to fulfill his purpose. (Batman #136)

In a flashback, Zur took over Bruce's body without Bruce even knowing. One minute, Bruce was trying to solve a case, and in the next, Zur was doing his own thing. When he gave up control to Bruce again, Bruce simply carried on with his previous thought as if he hadn't been personality swapped at all. (Batman #136)

Zur tried to tell Bruce what to do. Bruce snapped and yelled at him, reminding Zur that he (Zur) was in a cage. Bruce reassured himself, "He's in a cage. I'm in control." (Batman #137)

Now there was a moment in Batman #136 where Bruce started to panic because he couldn't see the future or whatever, so he didn't know how he could save everyone he loved, and he wondered how far he could go before it all burned away.

And then in Batman #137/Catwoman #57, Bruce realized that he no longer owned the manor, and he kinda started spiraling and talking about how even if he lost the manor/his wealth, he wouldn't lose his soldiers.

"They can't be bought. But they can be saved."

Notice the fact that Bruce used the term "soldiers." Because guess what? In Batman #127, Zur referred to Tim and the other members of the family as soldiers, and Bruce angrily corrected him.

"And Tim isn't my soldier! HE'S MY SON!"

SOOO. Do you see where I'm kinda going with all this? Bruce not knowing when Zur takes over? Zur being able to erase memories? Zur using "soldier" in his own dialogue color, and Bruce using the term "soldier" in his own dialogue color? Bruce saying that Zur "poisoned the well."

AND NOW, in today's issue, Zur forcibly took over to try and kill Joker again. And you know what was said?

Bruce: No! I'm in control! I'm--

Zur: You're not in control, we (Zur) are.

BRUCE CANNOT CONTROL ZUR. HE CANNOT. He thinks he can, and he thought he had it under control, but Bruce doesn't have shit under control!

[aviatrickss]

*takes a deep breath and leans in so close that my lips touch the microphone*

the tragedy of dick and jason’s relationship as brothers is not that they hated each other and then jason died, or that they were super close and then jason died. the tragedy is that dick did not know enough about jason to know how to mourn him. were they brothers? were they rivals? dick sure doesn’t know, and jason doesn’t either! but it’s fine bc they have plenty of time to figure that shit out, they don’t need to know each other right now bc there will be time to know each other later.

except.

[eddievedders]

Jason Sudeikis during MJ Delaney's acceptance speech.

[aroaceleovaldez]

I’m a bit nervous about sending an ask, but the curiosity has won me over, hope this isn’t too many questions

You said you headcannon Leo Valdez as dragon kin so I was wondering, do you think he has shifts often, if at all? If so, does he generally have some types of shifts more often or is it more balanced? And do the other campers and the seven know? If they do, did he tell them or did they piece it together on their own? If he told them, did he have to explain a lot or were they kind of just like “okay” and didn’t question it a lot? Like they just accepted it and didn’t want to overstep or something is what I mean

I think maybe I’m overthinking this, I really hope I’m not asking too many questions or anything

It's no worries at all! Asks/questions are always welcome!

I think his most usual shifts would be teeth/scales, but they're a lot more subtle so he either doesn't notice them as much or can ignore them. Those ones are probably semi-regular for him but again, more subtle most of the time (most of the time... every once in awhile he gets hit with a stronger maw shift and he's just sitting there gnashing his teeth at the air for like an hour cause his mouth feels weird until it goes away). Maybe also horns.

Less common ones for him but ones he'd notice more are probably wings, tail, and talons. Talons i mostly just think would be funny for him cause he has his habit of tapping his fingers as a stim. Him getting tripped up from the phantom talons while trying to stim, being confused for a minute about why his fingers aren't touching the table and he just ends up tapping out morse code into the air a couple inches above his desk instead. Wings and tail would probably just be pretty standard phantom limbs - they're just there and he's aware of them and maybe able to move them a bit. I imagine he'd eventually try to make some 'kin gear to help with those shifts specifically just so his brain stops error 404ing when his dragon limbs pass through solid objects despite his brain thinking they should be able to tangibly interact.

I don't think Leo would know what otherkin/alterhuman is when he first meets the Argo II crew, and probably wouldn't get the opportunity to learn about it for awhile. He doesn't really have the vocabulary to explain how he's feeling - just that he Is A Dragon. The rest of the crew probably also doesn't know what otherkin/alterhuman is either so they don't have an explanation for him, but, yknow, demigod life is already so goddamn weird, if Leo says he's a dragon that's not the most abnormal thing they've heard that week and they'll just take his word for it and accept it. And Jason probably understands the feeling re: being a wolf therian, even though he doesn't have the vocabulary to explain it either, so there's at least some solidarity there.

Earlier on I think Leo would just crack a lot of jokes about being a dragon, not particularly explaining how he feels about it to the others but just kind of putting the concept out there. He might try to explain it if the topic comes up but, as mentioned before, just struggle too much to try and find the words for it (the adhd/dyslexia/autism wording problems do not help there). I do like to think though that, due to their Hades/Pluto kid soul powers, Nico and Hazel would actually be able to pick up on spiritual-origin otherkin/therians/etc if they focused on it - Nico in particular, probably a lot more passively - and be able to kind of see phantom limbs/shifts sometimes (cause goodness knows how souls/spirit stuff works in the Riordanverse and I can have my self-indulgent silly alterhuman worldbuilding hcs if i want to - also at least partially inspired by some journal posts i've read of people mentioning people/animals/automatic doors picking up on their phantom limbs and being able to track the movement and stuff. if any demigod would be able to do that it's gonna be the kids with literal soul/phantom powers). I just find the concept amusing of Leo trying to explain this extremely metaphysical experience and Nico's just off to the side like "Oh yeah no, your soul is a dragon. Like, very literally. Dunno how that happened but good for you. btw why do you have ghost wings sometimes?" And Leo's grateful for someone helping him explain it but also isn't sure how he should react to statement. Eventually though one of the crew stumbles across alterhuman stuff - probably Leo or Annabeth, most likely accidentally through looking into daemonism stuff (you know they both read His Dark Materials) - and they put two and two together and finally have a means to explain it and Leo could not be more relieved (though he still doesn't know how to feel about Nico's soul comments).

I love rotating alterhuman demigods in my brain

[wait-whos-batman]

[crimsonfeatheredraven]

You know what? I think Jason should be a bit more unhinged about his death. I'm not talking about death jokes or "did you die?" comments or even the angst filled moments that we've been getting, which I respect in their own right.... but I'm thinking more along the lines of him carrying dirt from his grave around in a little pendant that he wears around his neck 90% of the time... using his coffin as a table or bookshelf...having a stain glass window in his actual apartment that has a depiction of the angel that stands over his grave...

I wish he would be allowed to actually enjoy his second life more...but I also think it be interesting to see him have a more macabre fascination with his death without linking it to Bruce...