Actually-Incorrect Valicer Quotes: Romantic Ridiculousness Edition
Another set of quotes from the Perchance generator (some slightly edited), this time all with a "this is how they got together, incorrectly" theme --
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Victor: So, what’s Alice's type?
Smiler: Brown eyes, kind, oblivious, good sense of humor, dog lover.
Victor: Sounds kind of like me. Too bad we’re just friends.
Smiler: Did I mention oblivious?
Victor: Yeah, why?
Smiler: Okay, just making sure.
--
Smiler: Hey, Alice, are you free on Friday? Like around eight?
Alice: Yeah.
Smiler: And you, Victor?
Victor: Umm... yes?
Smiler: Great! Because I'm not. You two go out without me. Enjoy your date!
Victor: Did they just-
--
Smiler: That shirt looks great, Alice.
Alice: Thanks.
Smiler: But I bet it would look even better on Victor's floor.
Victor: Are you hitting on Alice... for me?
--
Victor: [head on the table] Did Alice just tell me she loved me for the first time?
Smiler: Yeah, she did.
Victor: And did I just do finger guns back?
Smiler: Yeah, you did.
--
Alice: [texting] Due to personal reasons, I will be fucking sinking to the bottom of the ocean in a large metal box.
Smiler: [texting] Did Victor say 'I love you' and you said 'Thanks'?
Alice: [texting] THE REASONS ARE PERSONAL–
--
Victor: [pretending to joke] So when are you going to go out with me?
Smiler: [smiling] I don't know. When are you going to ask me to?
Alice: [later on] And you just ran away?!
Victor: I didn't expect them to flirt back!
--
Smiler: [is wearing silk pants] How does this look?
Victor: Like its slips on and off really easily.
Smiler:
Victor: No, I didn't mean it like that-
Alice: We know what you meant.
--
Victor: Well, remember when Smiler made a romantic dinner for me?
Alice: Victor, they microwaved you a pizza.
--
Victor: Hi, sorry I’m late. I was doing a couple of things and got distracted.
Smiler: I’m “a couple of things.”
Alice: I’m “got distracted.”
--
Victor: Having two partners is both amazing and complicated. But all our problems are solved with communication.
Smiler: It’s my turn to cuddle Alice.
Victor: FIVE MORE MINUTES DAMMIT!
--
Random Other Person: So, what is Smiler to you two?
Victor and Alice: [look at each other]
Alice: The reason we wake up every morning.
Random Other Person: Aww, that’s adorable.
Smiler earlier that morning, barging into their shared room, smacking pans together: WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!!!
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