#and just had to do it she says casually after spending 3 months DOING IT | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

me-loving-woso · 4 months

Text

Beach days, new teammates and love confessions

After literally months I am back. This is part 2 of Bruises Apologises and Cookies? It’s 15 k and probably I’ll make also a part 3 cause I am now invested in the story. Let me know if I should go on.

The season ending was a very bittersweet moment for you. From one point of view, you really didn't want to leave your club when they had given you so much.

The fans loved you, your teammates had become family, and the stadium was a second home for you. But you knew that you had to move for your career to flourish and make you reach your full potential.

The last game you played was the final of the Coppa Italia against Juventus. Your captain gave you the armband to lead your team one last time, and you were trying to hold off the emotions welling up. You almost felt like you were betraying the team in a sense. Still, you knew it was only an impression, as everyone was spurring you to go to Barcelona. They only wanted what was best for you.

You won 1-0 in that game, with your goal making the difference. Your teammates made you lift the cup and shed one or two tears. You gave a small farewell speech, and then, for the last time, you rounded your little stadium, where you'd play all of your matches with the team, and said goodbye to your teammates and the fans.

Your mind went on autopilot after that. You pushed away all of your sad feelings in the locker room and in the car to go back home. At home, there you broke down. It was really over. The team, the club that had given you so much, was not your team anymore. And a new adventure was about to start.

The following day, you fled to Eindhoven with some of your friends from the National Team to see the Champions League final. You had promised Mapi that you would be there and also because you were there to meet the coach of Barcelona to finalize the contract with the club.

As soon as you land in Eindhoven, you text Alexia, telling her you have just landed. Your relationship with her had been highly confusing since she welcomed you into her home after the defeat against your team. Something between the two of you had shifted.

She took care of you and made you feel safe in her arms. It had been a long time since you felt like being with her was just casual, on your part at least. Maybe she was just being polite and not actually caring more than necessary. Yet, you would text or call almost daily to talk about your days or just football. She was the first person you told about your move to Barça and she couldn't have been more supportive.

As you texted her at the airport, she told you that you wouldn't see each other before the game because she was stuck in media duties. Still, she informed your friend and soon-to-be teammate that you had landed, so at least you would get to see Mapi.

As soon as you left your suitcase in the hotel, you got to the bar where you told her you would meet her.

"Soo, what are you doing in the summer?" You ask her while you are both eating some way too unhealthy burgers.

"Ingrid and I thought about going to Ibiza for a week; why?"

"Would you like to come to Italy for a few days?" You offer her, every year, you booked this tiny house for the whole summer in Praiano, near an abandoned beach. You thought it was a total steal for how much you had paid for it. You usually would go there with friends or family for a few weeks. It was really your favorite place to be.

"I would love to come, but I don't want you to third-wheel us." You chuckle.

"What makes you say I'm not inviting anyone else?" You smirked suggestively, making her understand what you were insinuating.

"So you finally made it official?" You had asked Alexia to join you for the holidays the last time you saw her when she told you that she had never actually been to Italy if not for a match, you said it was unacceptable, so you offered yourself as a tour guide.

A week or so later, you realize that spending more than a day together would be a bad idea for fear of spilling out your deep, confused, and embarrassing feelings for her. So you decided to invite Mapi along.

"Again. We. Are. Not. Dating." You repeat to her for the millionth time, frankly also trying to convince yourself.

"So you are not going on holiday with her."

"Yes, I am. As friends." You explain, trying to find the right words.

"Only friends?"

"Well, with also some other benefits." Her face turns into a disgusted look. "What?"

"You are talking about my captain, it's weird." Frankly, she will be your skipper too, which meant that you were banging your boss? That was a thought for the future you.

"I really hope you would like to join us if you have nothing better to do." You really hoped she would say yes because you had planned to tell her you were joining Barcelona there.

"I'll talk to Ingrid about it, but you know I can't say no to Italy."

As you return to the hotel, you have a drink with your friends, and then you excuse yourself to go to bed when you hear your phone buzz.

Your Favourite Kickboxer ;)

'You up?'

'Yes, Why are you not asleep? It's late, and tomorrow you have a big game.' You reply.

'Just the nerves are getting to me. Last year with Lyon, we got demolished; I don't want it to happen again. It was difficult to keep the team united after such a loss, and I don't want to disappoint the fans.'

'Can I call you?' She sends another text.

You quickly start a video call, and she immediately picks up.

"Hey, cariño."

"Hey, Ale." You both smile dumbly at each other for a couple of seconds, but then you get interrupted by one of her yawns.

"You need some sleep, piccola, or you will be tired tomorrow. And as for the Lyon thing, you cannot predict the score tomorrow; you just can control how you play and try your best to motivate your team to be the best version of themselves. Lead them to glory, and give it your all. You won't have any regrets if you give everything on the pitch." You try to make her feel better, even though you know she will be stuck in her head all night.

"I'll try my best."

"And the least you could do, after ditching me tonight, is to score a goal for me tomorrow. It's the least." You tease her, making her smile.

"Asking for a goal in a Champions final? You know you are a very hard girl to satisfy, right?" She chuckles, making you feel relieved that you were able to make her feel a little better.

"You would be the expert on that, right?" You smirk suggestively, making her raise an eyebrow.

"Oh, I definitely am." She replies confidently.

"Go to sleep, piccola mia; tomorrow is a big day for you."

"Goodnight, cariño."

"Buonanotte, Ale."

The morning after you woke up, you quickly texted Alexia for good luck.

As soon as you got to the stadium, the tension was palpable, especially when in the first half Barcelona was down 2-0. You were getting extremely nervous and anxious. Your teammates, who were watching the game with you, noticed that. You were biting your nails to the skin. You didn't want them to lose, but if a team could turn around a 2-0, it was going to Barça, or at least you hoped so.

As soon as you saw the players come on the pitch for the second half, they all held an expression you couldn't understand. A mix of determination and hunger, especially Alexia.

The second half started, and not two minutes after, your woman bagged the first goal of the remontada. She ran to her fans, looking at you, making your initial with her hands, making all of your organs flip, fully blushing at the gesture. You really thought that she didn't take seriously what you said the day before.

As soon as she made that gesture, your now ex-teammates, watching the game with you, noticed what had happened and put the dots together.

"It's her, isn't she?" Linari asks you, wearing a shocked expression.

"What?"

"The girl from Barça that you are seeing. It's Alexia Putellas?" You chuckle, turning around to see the game, making her understand she was right. You weren't denying it anymore.

Not even two minutes later, Alexia scores a header, making the score a draw. She ran up to the side of the field, making your initials again and then celebrating with a little bow.

Barcelona was finally on track, and you could see that the intensity was getting much higher than it was before. Alexia played some of her best football in that second half. The game found an advantage with Rölfo when she scored the match's final goal and game-winner.

You saw her lift the trophy, making your heart grow a thousand times bigger on how much you were proud of her.

Then Mapi came to you, and you hugged her, congratulating her. You mingled in the stadium for a little while and finally left to the parking lot. You wanted to see Alexia but knew she needed to focus on celebrating and her teammates. You could text her later when she had the time to reply.

Your Favourite Kickboxer ;)

'Meet me in the hallway at the stadium?'

You quickly excuse yourself from your friends and sneak inside the stadium again. As you were walking down the hallways to find her, you felt two hands sneak up on you, making you turn around.

She quickly picked you up from the air, giving you a bone-crushing hug.

"I'm so proud of you, Ale!" You say, nearly tearing up.

She puts you down, turns her head to look at her surroundings, and then kisses you quickly, catching you completely off guard. "I have to return to Barcelona now, but I couldn't leave without seeing you." She says excitedly, you had never seen her this happy.

"You did it! You scored two goals. You are champions once again! I'm so fucking proud of you, Ale!"

"Did you see! I did your initials. Two goals for you, cariño! I probably wouldn't have won the trophy if it wasn't for you." She places her hands on your cheeks, smiling.

"I didn't do anything. It's all on you. I just gave you a little reassurance."

"You don't give yourself enough credit. I have to go now! I have a trophy to bring back to Barcelona. I'll see you in two weeks, cariño." She gives you a quick peck on the lips and then leaves for the dressing room.

The next day, your Instagram was swarmed by pictures of her celebration and a video of the team that was clearly hungover Alexia included, which made you chuckle.

That day, you were leaving for Praiano with some of your closest friends from the Roma team. You had invited them to spend the last days in Italy with you before you moved to Barcelona.

The club announced your signing in the middle of the transfer season so as not to overshadow your signing for the Champion's League win; you thought it was totally unnecessary, but LaPorta wanted to give you a 'proper welcome.'

The day of your announcement coincided with the day Mapi would arrive in Italy. You really wanted to be the one telling her that you would be joining her team, so you talked to Ingrid, begging her to not make your friend open her phone for that day. They would stay with you for five days before leaving for Norway. In contrast, Alexia would remain with you for the whole week, which was something that you were looking forward to some alone time with her. Still, you were also nervous about being alone with her in fear of blurting out your surely unrequited feelings for her.

As soon as her flight landed, you went to pick her up,

She was wearing some Barça shorts and a baggy t-shirt, wearing a messy bun, and walking towards you. As soon as she was close enough, you ran up to her and hugged her, which she soon reciprocated, picking you up from the air.

"Hey, cariño."

"Hi, champion." She put you down, buried her head in the crook of your neck, and placed a small kiss there.

Then you took her suitcase, grabbed her hand and led her outside the airport. As soon as you get into the car, she takes your hand again and never returns it for the rest of the trip.

"How was the flight?"

"It was good, though nobody speaks Spanish here; they just add the S to the end of every word in Italian. It's so annoying." She pouts cutely.

"Welcome to Italy."

"So, is Mapi already here?"

"No, they are coming tomorrow morning; they had an issue with the plane tickets."

"So we are alone tonight?" She grins suggestively while you quickly nod at her before focusing back on the road. "So, what are the plans for tonight?"

"It depends on how tired you are." She had just had a whole week celebrating with her teammates, and you could understand if she wanted a relaxed night in. You turn around to see her expression, a mix between a smirk and a suggestive glare. "Oh my god, woman! I didn't mean it like that! I'm more than just a body." You remark jokingly as if you weren't thinking about the same thing as her.

"I know. I love your body." She kisses the back of your hand. "Just as much as I love what it's inside here." She lightly taps your temple, making you slightly blush at her compliment. "SO, what are the plans for tonight?"

"If you are up to it, I wanted to take you out to dinner; since you say that Spanish food is better than Italian, I want to prove you wrong. And if you still have some energy, we can go for a walk later; I can show you around the city."

"I'm good for anything you want to."

As soon as you get to the house, Alexia's eyes widen.

"Oh wow, this is beautiful." She opens her mouth in wonder.

"Wait until you see the beach!"

You stop the car and take her suitcase inside the house while she is toeing behind you. You take her outside to see the small private beach.

"How did you find this place?" She marvels, still looking at the clear water in front of her.

"We used to come here when I was little; I've actually started saving up money to buy this place. The owner loves me and has no kids, so he is okay with me buying it."

She turns to you, taking you by your sides. "Thank you for bringing me here."

"No problem."

"Now, can you show me the room? I would like to change clothes."

You grab her hand and take her inside the tiny house. "I'm sorry it's a little messy." You still had some bottles of wine opened and some glasses on the table from the previous night. "My friends left this morning, and I still didn't have time to clean up."

"If that is messy for you, you don't want to come to my house during the holiday season." She lightly jokes.

You take her to one of the spare rooms, where she places her suitcase on top of the bed, and then she quickly looks at her surroundings, confused.

"Is this your room? Because I don't see your stuff in here."

"No, my room is over there." You point at the end of the hallway.

"Just take me to your room; we are going to sleep on the same bed anyway." She says as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Well, I thought that you might want your own space."

"You have to stop being so accommodating. If I wanted my space, I would've stayed at home. I came here because I wanted to be with you. So stop being so cautious around me and take me to your room." She says, using her commanding voice that she only used on certain occasions, which she knew had an effect on you.

You take her to your room, which is the best room in the house. It was the biggest and had a great sea view outside the window.

You leave to make her change while you go in the living room.

She wore shorts, her bikini, and an open button-down shirt when she returned. You chuckled when you looked at her; she was really feeling the beach mood.

"Let's go outside!" She says excitedly.

"Wait, I still have to finish cleaning up, and then I have to go upstairs and finish some other stuff. I'll be there in a couple of minutes." You tell her you really wanted everything to be perfect for this week.

"Nope."

"What, sorry?"

"You are on holiday, so stop trying to make everything perfect; it's already perfect as it is, and come outside with me." She insists, making you giggle at her stubbornness.

"But-"

"No buts. You deserve to relax just as much as I do." She quickly approaches you, grabs you by the waist, and drags you outside.

"Alexia!"

She puts you down on your small patio when you get outside. She places your hands on your cheeks. "Now, let me do something I've wanted to do for two weeks. Can I kiss you?"

"You really don't have to ask anymore." You reply, standing up on your tippy toes to kiss her. It was slow and soft, and you could feel her smile through the kiss. She picks you up, and you can feel her begin moving. You needed to find out where she was going and why. But you were too caught up in her to understand what was happening. Then you hear some splashes and the sound of the waves. You break the kiss and look around: she brought you into the water, and she was wearing a mischievous smirk.

"Alexia, don't you dare!" You warn her. She was trying to throw you into the water. She responds to you by chuckling and releasing her grip from your body, making you wrap your legs even tighter to not fall down to the water. "Alexia, come on, I still have clothes on." You tried to convince her, but she looked like she didn't care. So she began tickling you on your sides, which she knew was your ticklish spot. You tried to squirm from her touch, but you lost balance and fell in the water while the woman beside you, still standing, started laughing.

“Tua madre in carriola!” You exclaim, slightly irritated that you had all your clothes drenched in water, but you couldn't fully care when there she was. You have never seen her as carefree and happy as now. You felt blessed that she was here, right now, with you, being like this, trying to make you finally relax and enjoy some vacation when it was nearly impossible, as you'd always stress about something.

"You know that I didn't understand anything you said, right? Only something about my mom." She chuckles. You quickly go underwater and grab her legs, making her fall into the water.

"Tu puta madre!"

"See! At least I didn't call your mom a bitch." You tease her while she fixes her wet hair. "And this is payback!" You finish, crossing your arms and wearing a proud smirk. You see her expression change from irritation to determination while swimming towards you. She picked you up and threw you with her in the water, and that is how you spent your afternoon. Stolen kisses, laughs, and a whole lot of competitiveness. Honestly, you couldn't ask for more.

After the both of you had calmed down after laughing and playfully fighting in the water, you swam to her. You made her wrap her legs around your waist while she was stabling herself, putting your hands on your shoulders.

"What are you doing?"

"Well, you always pick me up from the ground; we can switch roles occasionally." You tell her, lightly rubbing her thighs; you really missed having her close to you.

She replies by giving you a soft kiss, then begins to look at you, smiling.

"What?" You ask her, feeling yourself combust at the intense eye contact.

"I just really missed your face, cariño." She says, peppering feathery kisses all over your face.

How dare she say stuff like that when you try your best to keep inside your confusing and strong feelings for her.

"I missed you too, piccola." You blurt out, kissing her jaw, holding her a little tighter. You really didn't want to let her go. You had created this little bubble in which the both of you were enjoying each other's presence, not caring about what you were to each other, but just having fun with no constraints and being in each other's company.

"I think we should get inside." And the bubble popped.

You get inside the house with your clothes soaked and take turns to shower. It had been more than six months since the last time you were able to touch her, and you felt your body yearn for her. Yes, you had kissed, but nothing more than that.

You took her out to dinner in a small place near the city.

You really needed help to differentiate this dinner from a date. It had everything that a date would entail. Good food, subtle and not-so-subtle flirting, and great banter. The subtle touches under the table or the shared knowing glance made your heart skip a beat. This dinner felt like a date, but you knew it wasn't. And that made you feel a sort of uncomfortableness that wasn't easy to set aside to fully enjoy your night with her.

As soon as you finished eating, you took her for a walk around the city, and you would tell her anecdotes of what you did in those places you were walking by when you were a child.

You arrive at a park, and you both sit down on the swings.

"You know, this is actually where I had my first kiss." She turns to look at you, wearing a curious grin.

"Here? In this park?"

"Yeah. It was here. Actually, on this swing."

"Now you have to explain." She asks you curiously.

"Well, I was thirteen. We were a group of five kids, and we would come here every afternoon to have fun and play with the ball. I remember this boy always looking at me, and one day, we were alone at the park. I was on the swing; he made me close my eyes, gave me a flower, and kissed me."

"Oh my god, it's so cute!"

"No, it wasn't. It was very weird. But I think it was just me who didn't want to be handed a rose by a boy, much rather a girl. But that would be a problem for a future 14-year-old me. In hindsight, I think that it should have been the first clue of me liking girls." You chuckle, reminiscing about that young boy who made you realize that kissing boys was disgusting.

"Turn around." You see her standing up with a determined grin.

"What?"

"Just indulge me. Turn around." You turn around, your body closing your eyes expectantly.

"Okay, you can look now." You turn to face her and see a daisy in her hand.

"Well, this might not be a rose. But it is a flower." She hands you the flower shyly, making you chuckle lightly at her cuteness.

"And you are a girl and not a boy." You state.

"So, can I kiss you? I'll ask because I don't think that poor boy asked you."

"Nah, he didn't. But as I told you before, you no longer have to ask."

"Kissing you shouldn't be something you can take for granted." She replies, leaning into you and weighing the swing's chains.

After more than thirteen years, you recreate your first kiss. And this time, it feels right. It was as if you were meant to recreate it with someone who mattered, who would make you feel excited and nervous about how the little boy felt when he was kissing you. And you felt the same way with her, and every time you kissed her,

As soon as she breaks off the quick kiss, you remark, "I think you are a better kisser than that poor boy."

"I mean, I'd hope. I'm 29. He was your age."

"Don't get too cocky now. You were slightly better." You tease her. Making her lean into you and give you a searing kiss so that you'd know for sure that if you weren't sat on that swing, probably your knees would give out. It had an intensity that seemed out of place for being in a children's park. But neither of you seemed to care. It was dawn, the playground was abandoned, and you missed kissing her.

And most certainly she was just getting competitive because you told her she was slightly better at kissing than a thirteen-year-old. She wanted to wipe away any doubt about her kissing skills.

She breaks the kiss by lightly biting your lower lip, making you feel all hazy.

"Just slightly better?" She smirks proudly.

You didn't hear a word she said, as you were too busy falling down from the high she had just given you to actually understand words spoken to you in a different language by one of the hottest women you have ever seen. "What did you say?"

"I'll take that as a no." She lightly chuckles, taking your hand and walking to the park exit.

"Let's go home." She whispers, placing a small kiss on your temple.

The walk back to your holiday home was on autopilot. She took the lead on the conversation, asking you questions about the week's plans with your other two friends. As soon as you get home, you go to your small kitchen to get a glass of water while she toes behind you. As soon as you finish drinking, she comes closer to you, putting her hands on your waist and making you retreat until you hit the kitchen counter.

"Thank you for tonight. I really had fun." She smiles earnestly.

"I'm glad that you like it here."

"Oh, I love it here. Even though I think that the people in this place have an average age of 72." She jokes

"Nah, 75. In fact, there is only one kid in the whole town. And the father is actually the boy of the kiss in the park."

"Well, at least he moved on."

"Yeah, it was very tough for him, but eventually, after a very long time, he found love again. But again, how could you ever move on from someone like me." You joke.

"I don't know. Well, nearly after a year, I'm still here, so something right you must be doing." She teases you.

"Or maybe you just can't find better." You raise an eyebrow suggestively.

"I don't think there is better to find, honestly." Her gaze softens as she says those words, making you blush, hiding your face by placing your forehead on her chest, hiding from her. She pulls her hands away from your waist and puts them on your cheeks to try to move your head from her to see your face. "What?" She asks.

"You have to stop saying things like that."

"Why? I mean it." She reassures you.

"I- You know why." You try to make her understand, not fully saying out loud feelings; try to make her understand them instead without fully exposing yourself.

"I'd rather you say it."

You take a deep breath. "Alexia, do you want to go on-" Your phone rings and you look from your watch to who is calling you "I have to take this."

You squirm away from her touch and leave to go outside.

"Pronto, Emma. Tutto bene?" It was your best friend whom you hadn't seen in a year and a half. She never called without asking you beforehand, so you thought it was pretty important.

"Si, tutto bene. Ti devo dire una cosa.” She replies excitedly, making you release a sigh of relief that nothing bad had happened.

Ten minutes later, you come back to Alexia wearing one of your biggest smiles.

"Is everything okay?" She asks, still waiting for you in the same spot as you left her.

"More than okay!" You reply excitedly, walking quickly to her. "My best friend is getting married, and I'll be the maid of honor." You place your hands on her shoulders, then slowly move them to her neck, lightly playing with her hair. "Now, where were we?" You knew exactly how you left her; you were about to blurt out your feelings for her, but you decided to ignore the problem and not dwell on it too much. Instead, you kissed her. The kissing led to something else, and for the first time in more than six months, time froze, and you were back again in her arms.

The next morning, you wake up to the alarm with hair on your face and an arm holding you down. You had a headache and clearly were sleep-deprived. You open your phone and look at the time. It's 10 AM.

"Fuck!" You sit up, making the woman on your side slowly wake up. "Alexia, wake up. We are late; we should've been in the car by now."

You say, rushing out of your bed to quickly change. You had promised Mapi that you would drive her to your house from the airport because you thought it would be a waste of money to book a taxi when you had a perfectly functioning car that could drive you anywhere.

In five minutes, you were able to dress, brush your teeth, and get in the car. Thankfully, you remembered to shower the night before, so you didn't have to do it in the morning; you felt bad for Alexia, as you could see that she wasn't used to this level of rushedness, that you were more than used to as you always tended to sleep in, and eventually have to rush to get in time to train or to games.

You closed the door to the house while Alexia was still halfway done putting her shirt on. As soon as the both of you got into the car and slammed the door, you looked at each other and started laughing.

"Okay, those were the quickest five minutes of my life." She says while catching her breath.

"We totally overslept, and we are totally going to be late." You chuckle, starting the engine of your car.

"We can always say that we found traffic." She offers.

You definitely and not-so-subtly speed to the airport and then quickly call your friend to tell her that you are finally at the airport.

"I'm really sorry. We found traffic on the way here." You tell Mapi while you go to hug her and Ingrid. As your friend goes to hug Alexia, you turn to Ingrid and whisper, "Did she already open her Instagram?" You were trying to hold off her discovering that you were a Barça player; you really wanted to tell her, and that day would be the day that Barcelona would announce your signing.

"No, she didn't, but I can't hold off her phone for long." She replies, breaking off the hug and going to Mapi's side and beginning to catch up on her life and yours.

"Oh my God, I forgot to tell you! Emma is getting married!"

"No way! She's finally settled down?!" Everyone who knew the both of you always thought that you would be the first one to marry, as Emma has always been the hot mess between the two of you, afraid of commitment. "Is she marrying the same guy from college?" She asks you.

"Yep." You turn around to look at Alexia and Ingrid, and then you explain. "When I was in college when I met Kate, my ex, Emma met this guy who studied economics and finance at our same university. They got together way before Kate and I. He's so dumb. I love him so much. They are perfect for each other."

You turn again to face your tattooed friend, "Wait, is that a hickey?" Her face is adorned with a knowing smirk while pointing at your neck, making you subconsciously hide it with your hand.

"No, it's not! It's a bruise." You try to explain, mentally trying to remember to scold Alexia as soon as you got her alone.

"It's so not!" She chuckles, surprised, making you turn around to glance angrily at Alexia, who replies with an innocent smile. "Is that the reason why you were late?"

"No! We found traffic on the way here, as I told you before."

"Yes!" Alexia casually backs you up, making your other two friends understand it was a lie.

As soon as you get into the car, Mapi is about to take out her phone to put music on when you stop her, saying that only the passenger in the front, Alexia, could put the music on, which was a lie, but you really didn't want her to see her phone.

As soon as you got home, the couple went to their room to unpack the suitcase while you and Alexia put on your bathing suit and went outside to the beach to sunbathe. You were reading some book, trying to focus on the words of the book rather than the woman who was lying half-naked on your right. Which was getting increasingly more difficult whenever she would move or place soft caresses on your back, trying to get your attention.

"Hey." You turn to look at her.

"Hey, cariño. I'm sorry for the hickey. I got a little carried away yesterday night." She apologizes shyly, making you forgive her in the blink of an eye.

"Don't worry about it." You come closer to her, placing a hand on her chest, and give her a small kiss. You brush your noses together and tell each other sweet nothings, creating a small bubble that neither of you wants to pop. "I know that I'm a person who doesn't express much of her feelings vocally, but I just wanted to say that I'm really glad that you are here with me."

"Honestly, there is no place I'd rather be, cariño. By your side is where I am the happiest."

You move your lips closer to her, about to kiss her, when you hear the door of the house open and see your friends coming outside. You make your forehead fall on her shoulder while you feel her sigh displeased. You slowly move away from her and sit up.

"I'm still not used to seeing this." Your friend says while pointing at the both of you, making her girlfriend roll her eyes at her.

You spend the morning in your small private beach playing card games and catching up with each other.

In the afternoon, it was when the club would announce your signing, so you decided to tell her at that moment. You had brought your Barcelona shirt to be able to announce it away from Barcelona. You told the club that you wouldn't be able to fly to Barcelona for your signing because you had already booked your holidays, so you did all the photoshoots and signing beforehand.

The first hours of the afternoon had always been the hottest, so you all decided to come inside and plan together your four days ahead.

You go to your room and retrieve the Barça shirt. Then you leave to go to your living room. "Oh, and by the way, I decided on my future club." You say casually, sitting down on the couch next to Alexia, facing Mapi.

"You are renewing with Roma, right?" She asks curiously. "I heard some rumors saying that they offered you a big contract."

"Yeah, they did offer me a huge contract. But I decided to leave; check your phone." You look at the time on your watch. "I think they just made the announcement." You tell her excitedly.

She quickly checks her phone, then turns to look at you smiling. "You'll be a Barça player?" You slowly nod, taking out the shirt with your name on it and showing it to her.

"I wanted to be the one who told you; that's why Ingrid never let you use your phone today." You say while standing up to hug her.

"I'm so happy! We can finally win the Champions League together! Like we always dreamed about!" She says excitedly, looking at the shirt. "Have you already decided on the number? I know that yours has always been the 16."

"I don't care, honestly. I'm just glad to be a Barcelona player. Plus, Rölfo already has the 16. I don't want her to change numbers for me."

"It's already settled, cariñ- Y/n." Alexia interjects, making you turn to look at her. "I know how much the number means to you, and Frido already wanted to change the number to 18, so I asked her if she wanted to make the swap. If you want it, you'll have the 16."

"Ale, there was no need to do that!" You felt your heart explode with affection at the thought that she would do this for you without even asking her or talking about it.

"I know. But I wanted to." You lock eyes, and for a moment, it is as if you are the only one in the room. "Now, do you want me to take a picture of you for the announcement?"

You posted on your Instagram a picture of you and your friend holding your Barça announcement shirt, with the caption: 'Reunited with this one.'

The rest of the week passed in a blur, from boat trips to visiting nearby cities and loads of food; you finally felt at peace and ready for your new adventure in Barcelona.

You would stay one last week in Italy with your family to finish packing up, and then you would leave for Barcelona. You found a beautiful apartment near the training grounds, and it had everything you dreamed of. Huge kitchen, a small garden, and a great view of the city.

Everything felt perfect. Alexia was going to pick you up from the airport, you thought it was unnecessary and a waste if her time, but then you gave in, wanting to see more of the woman who had been on your mind ever since that week in Italy, maybe even from before.

As soon as you landed, you got the terrible news from your landlord that a pipe from your apartment had just exploded, which meant that for more than a week, you would be homeless.

As you walk sadly to the exit of the airport, you find Alexia smiling at you as soon as she sees you, but then, as soon as she sees your expression, her smile fades into an expression of worry. You go to hug her, circling your arms on her waist. "Are you okay, cariño?" She asks worriedly.

You bury your head in her shirt, feeling the warmth and comfort she is exuding and taking it all in.

"A pipe from my new apartment just exploded. I am homeless for a week, and I need to find a hotel not too far from the training grounds."

"We'll find a solution together. Now let's go to the car and go home." She takes one of your suitcases, puts her arm on your shoulder, and pulls you close to her, dragging you to her Cupra.

As you enter the car, you melt into the car seat, taking Alexia's hand and giving it a couple of kisses. She turned on the engine of the car and proceeded to leave the infinite parking area of the Barcelona airport.

"If it's not a problem, you can always stay with me." She offered when you asked her if she knew any hotels near the training grounds. "Because I really don't think you'd want a week of Mapi and Ingrid together." She jokes, clearly making a point, because as much as you love both girls, they are disgustingly in love, and being around them made you feel miserable with your current situation with Alexia.

"Ale, I don't want to intrude. You need your space, and until I'm settled in, I'll take up a lot of it. And I don't want you to feel like you have to because you stayed in my home during the holidays," You say.

"I'm not offering because I feel some sort of obligation. I'm offering because I care about you, and I'd hate for you to be stuck in a hotel when you can simply stay at my place."

"Are you sure?"

She chuckles at your stubbornness, "Yes, I'm sure, cariño. But I do have one condition that I cannot overrule." She becomes immediately serious, making you unconsciously sit up. "You have to bake me those darn cookies." Her condition makes you chuckle. "I want to bring them to my mamá."

"I'll bake you all the cookies you want, piccola mia."

You get to her home, and as soon as she opens the door, you are met with a ball of fur asking for your attention, which you gladly give to her.

That evening, you baked your cookies together, fully knowing that the next day would be your first day of training, so it acted more as a stress relief rather than something you were doing for someone else. Which wasn't a problem for you, as it had always been your love language, acts of service, and cooking for other people. But strangely enough, you weren't feeling at all that anxious, and most certainly, even if you wouldn't admit it to yourself, it was Alexia's merit.

Her presence seemed to ground you and anchor you to the real world, not making you overthink or go in a spiral of intrusive and not good thoughts.

You loved how, even though she didn't know how to bake, she would try her best to do whatever you wanted her to do, making you grin at her concentrated looks whenever she didn't understand something.

As you went to bed that night, you were cuddling up in Alexia's bed.

"So, are you excited about tomorrow?" She asks you.

"I am a little nervous, but yes, I'm very excited. I'm finally playing for my dream club, and honestly, I couldn't be asking for more. But I do have a question, though: Do you know how many people know about us on the team?"

"Mapi has been a good friend, but for now, only she and Ingrid know. But if you are asking me if I'll treat you differently than what I've been doing now, the answer is no. Of course, I'll not be kissing you because we are at work, but I'll never avoid you."

"You'll have plenty of time to kiss me on other occasions then." You give her a small peck on the lips and go back to your previous position, falling asleep in her arms, looking forward to the next day.

The next day, you have breakfast together and then leave for the training grounds. As soon as you get there, Alexia goes in for training, whereas you go and meet all the training staff and Jonatan Giraldez. You were nervous, as you always hated to meet new coaches.

"Hey, Mister."

"Hey, Y/n. I'm so glad to finally have you on my team. It has been two years now that you have been my number 6 choice. I hope we can work well together." He says, shaking your hand, making you blush lightly at the compliment.

"I will do my best to be the best player I can be." You say.

"I'm sure you will. Now, before going to train and meet your future teammates, even though I know you already know some of them, you unfortunately have some media to attend to."

He accompanies you to a room full of interviewers from Barça TV and some other places, and the interviews begin.

"Hello, Y/n Y/ln. May I ask you some questions?" He asks politely, and you slightly nod.

"Welcome to Barcelona; what made you decide to leave your former club to join Barcelona?"

"Barça has always been my dream club, ever since I was a child. I remember that my uncle wanted me to become an Inter fan, whereas my other one wanted me to become a Milan fan, but as soon as I saw Barcelona play, I was completely taken by their style of play, and it was this club and Messi, that made me fall in love with the sport, so I will always be forever grateful to this club, for giving me this opportunity."

"Y/n, you have the impossible task of replacing one of the best CDMs in the world, Keira Walsh, who had just returned to her childhood club, Man City, with Lucy Bronze; how do you think you will fit that role?"

"Woah, huge question." You lightly joke, earning chuckles from the interviewer. "I think Walsh is one of the best CDMs in the world right now, if not the best. It's not going to be an easy task to 'replace' a player like her, if we can say that. But I'll give it my all to this team, and even if I won't be the best 6 in the world, I'll definitely be the best version of myself to play for this historic team. It's my dream."

"Who are you most excited to play with?"

"Of course, Mapi. We played together during our Atletico days, and I always thought that we worked very well together. But honestly, all of them, I'm really excited to play in midfield with Aitana Bonmati and Alexia Putellas and one of the most underrated players of all time, Patri Guijarro."

"How do you feel about playing with Alexia Putellas, given the circumstances of your previous encounters?" You furrow your eyebrows at the question.

"You mean, given that the last time we played against each other, she nearly broke my nose?" You say lightheartedly, making the people understand that you weren't holding any grudge against her.

The English interviewer quickly nods. "As I said in previous interviews, I think Alexia is a great player and a great person, both on and off the pitch. She will be my new skipper, and I couldn't ask for anyone better. In our previous encounters, I think we were just unfortunate, and when you play with a person who is physically bigger and stronger than you, injuries may happen. But I don't hold any type of grudge against her; in fact, we actually joked about the fact that if she weren't a football player, she could definitely be a kickboxer."

"And that is all for today; thank you, Y/n."

"Thank you all for being here and Visca el Barça."

You quickly exit the room and speed walk to the changing rooms to get ready for your first training with the team. As soon as you put on the shirt, you immediately touch the badge of your new team and automatically smile. You had finally made it, and you couldn't be happier.

You put on your cleats and go outside to talk to your coach. All the other girls were making rondos or juggling with the ball, making you feel a little bit like a fish out of the sea. For a slight moment, you were slightly regretting coming to Barcelona but you knew that it was just your mind playing tricks on you and that you deserved to be there just as much as the girls who were already training.

"So, coach, do you want me to run a few laps or do some drills with the ball?" You tell him, feeling ready to do anything, even running, jumping up and down from your standing position.

"Oh no." He chuckles. "I don't know if you do this in Italy, but here at Barcelona, for every new player, we do the guard of honor."

"Oh no, we don't have to." You say shyly, not wanting to be at the center of attention.

"Oh yeah, it's tradition." He spurs you on, making you go with him on the pitch to your new teammates.

"Girls!" He screams, making all of them turn around. "As you already know, Y/n will be our new 16, so take care of her and make her feel at home!" He says, making you awkwardly wave at your teammates, embarrassed. Mapi walks excitedly to you and gives you a hug.

"Is your coach always like this?" You ask her, still embarrassed.

"Yep, get used to it."

"I will never get used to wearing these colors," you say, putting your hand on your badge.

"You deserve it more than anyone." She leads you to your teammates, and one by one, you get introduced to them, even though you already knew most of them, never leaving your side, for which you were eternally grateful to her. You leave Alexia for last, and she gives you a quick hug and a reassuring look, which is what you need to finally ground yourself.

They all line up to give you the guard of honor, which you try to make them not do, but Mapi basically pushes you to run, feeling all the smacks on your back as you are running. The training was great after that. You managed to talk and get to know everyone, and everyone was so nice to you.

The intensity, though, was something that you had never experienced before. The Barça rhythms were definitely higher than the ones from Roma, but you weren't the one who would give up that easily, overworking your body, trying to prove yourself to the coach.

You were on a water break, trying to catch your breath, putting your hands on your knees, straightening your back. You feel a hand at the back of your neck lightly squeezing, asking for your attention. You immediately recognize her touch, even though you didn't see her. You turn around to look at her, and you are met with a worried look.

“Are you okay, cariñ- Y/n?“

"So good." You say breathlessly. "I just have to get used to this much running, that's all."

"Do you want me to talk to the coach?"

"I don't need any special treatment, Alexia." You squirm away from her and jump on Mapi's back, interrupting her from some conversation she was having with Pina and Patri. You felt bad about leaving Alexia like that, so coldly, but then again, you always hated when people were concerned about your physical health or were just trying to help; it made you vulnerable, and you hated that. You immediately regretted how you talked to Alexia and decided that after practice, you would apologize to her.

When practice ended, you were exhausted but still very happy. Alexia was practicing free kicks as everyone left to change.

"Piccola mia, I'm really sorry about how I replied to you today." You say regretfully, placing your hand on her back, making her turn to you.

"I wasn't trying to give you any special treatment, Y/n." What happened to cariño? "I am your captain; if you feel bad or worn out, it's my responsibility to help you." She replies sadly, playing with the ball on her feet.

"I know. And I'm sorry. I just hate when people are worried about me. It makes me feel vulnerable. And I know you were just worried, so I'm really sorry."

"I know you are. Come here and give me a proper hug." She opens her arms for you, which you gladly take, and circle your arms around her waist, putting your head on her chest. Those types of hugs with her were your favorite hugs.

"Now, are you ready for the initiation?"

You break off the hug and look at her, puzzled. "What initiation? Mapi never told me anything."

"Well, it's more like a team bonding get-together with karaoke."

"So I have to sing? Will you sing too?"

"I am not singing, but you are a newbie, so you have to." She explains as if she were stating the obvious.

"The hell I am not."

"The hell you are." She chuckles.

"I do love music, but I do not sing. When I am sober, at least."

"You kinda have to; it's a tradition. Everyone has done it. It's about shedding any fear of embarrassment."

"But Ale-"

"Nope, it's settled." You sigh at her words and then leave to go to the dressing room.

“Goodbye capitana.”

“Goodbye cariño.”

In the meantime, Mapi and Patri were watching your interaction with Ale from afar.

"I've never seen Alexia this… soft? It feels weird." Patri states to her friend.

"Who? Alexia and Y/n?" Mapi asks dumbly, trying not to give out any details.

"I never specified Y/n." She raises an eyebrow. "Wait. Do you know something?" The midfielder's face turns into a wide smirk.

"I don't have anything to say to you that I should say."

"So you have something for me that you shouldn't say?" She asks, flipping the situation.

"Stop using wordy sentences to make me confused."

"You didn't reply to my question. Are they dating? Wait, is she the girl we all thought a couple of months ago fucked her?"

"I don't know anything! If you are really that curious, go and ask her!" Your friend replies defensively, really trying not to spill any secrets.

At that moment, you walked through the door and saw your friend, "You didn't tell me I had to sing?! Oh hey, Patri." You turn around to your new teammates happily waving at her, and then you go back to point your finger angrily at your friend.

"Oh, come on! How bad it could be! You were in a band, after all." She says

"You were in a band?" Patri asks curiously.

"I had a really dark past.." You explain quickly and dramatically. "Plus, you know well I didn't sing!"

"Oh, come on. Don't be too dramatic. I'll get you a couple of drinks, then you'll sing something, and that's that."

That evening, you were exhausted from your training, so you decided to have a power nap in Alexia's house, which she gladly joined you in. After a couple of hours, you were ready to go and left for the pub, where you would meet the girls from the team.

As soon as you get there, you leave Alexia to go to Mapi and mingle with some of the Spanish girls in that group, Ona, Aitana, Pina, and Patri. While Alexia went to talk to the older girls and her friends from the national team. Some hours in the night passed, and you were really glad that you were getting along with everybody from the team.

At first, you were very shy with them, but thankfully, Mapi, and in some instances Alexia, helped you a little to open up and make your teammates able to get to know you. Some girls were drinking, but you decided not to, and many of them started off the karaoke, making you sometimes laugh at their stupidity, whereas in others, you would clap at them.

You knew that your turn was coming when you saw Mapi run to another room and come out with a guitar in her hand, making you roll her eyes at her, completely understanding her intentions. You used to play the guitar when you were younger, and you actually were quite good at it. But you hadn't played in so long, and as the hype woman your best friend was and the fact that she loved embarrassing you, fully knowing you hated being the center of attention, she brought a guitar just for everybody to see and ask you about it.

She handed it to you, making you chuckle at her sarcastically, but she was wearing this proud smirk, which showed that she wasn't doing this just to make you uncomfortable and tease but also to show you off, which you thought was very unnecessary.

You open the guitar case, and you see a beautiful acoustic guitar.

"Where did you get this? Did you steal it?" You joke, admiring the guitar.

"The guy behind the bar recognized us and gave me the guitar."

"Do you play the guitar, Y/n?" Ona asks you curiously, making you turn your head around the table.

"Well, I used to play it; I haven't played in a very long time." You say while you pick it up and run the strings through your hands. You stopped playing the guitar when you left for Chelsea. Usually, music was your happy place, but when you moved out from Spain and broke up with Kate, your love for the instrument dissipated, and you wouldn't bring yourself to do something that you enjoyed so much.

"You should play something for us," Patri adds excitedly.

"Oh no." You reply shyly, putting away the guitar. "I haven't played in so long, plus I don't think I remember much, and I really don't want to embarrass myself." You chuckle nervously, hoping that they will let it go. In the meantime, the guitar thing caught some attention, so now, not only was your table waiting for you to play something, but everyone in your group and some other clients in the pub were waiting for you to play something.

"Oh nonsense, you know that you have to perform; if you don't play the guitar, you'll have to sing. So you decide…" Mapi spurs you on. You take a deep breath and move your chair to the little stage where the people would normally sing karaoke. You quickly tune the guitar, and then you finally feel all the eyes on you.

"Okay, if I get some notes wrong, please don't laugh at me." You look at Alexia one last time, who is somehow sitting with Mapi now, and she gives you a reassuring smile.

So you begin playing one of your favorite songs on the guitar; every time you play it, it reminds you of when life was fun and simple. Whenever you played it, you would get lost in the music and daydream of what those sounds elicit. (If you want to hear it, it's 'Mutter' from Rob Scallon, the live version)

As soon as you start playing, your tattooed friends turn to Alexia.

"Good luck, my friend." She pats her back ironically.

"What, why?" Alexia whispers, still trying to give you her full undivided attention.

"If she still plays like she played years ago, she has this way of conveying many emotions. Either they are sad or happy; whenever she plays something, she amplifies it by a thousand. The song that she is about to play is going to hit you like a ton of bricks, believe me."

The song begins slowly, but then it gets faster and fuller. It made you regret to decide this piece after not playing in so long, but you loved it, and honestly, you really wanted to show off a little to your teammates and, most definitely, to Alexia. Thankfully, this worry of making mistakes was quickly forgotten when you began getting lost in the music. You really missed being able to play and express yourself in this way.

As soon as you finish the song with the last chord, you don't dare to look at your teammates; only when you hear the claps do you lightly blush and turn your gaze around the room, searching for those beautiful eyes that have the capacity to render you hopeless, but you couldn't see her, nor your friend for that matter.

Your performance was nearly finished, and Alexia never took her eyes off you; she thought that what Mapi said was right; your performance hit her like a ton of bricks, but more than anything, it brought out a huge realization that Alexia could quite withstand, so she left, to go to the bathroom, trying to get some space. Mapi quickly followed her friend, and as soon as they were inside the small room, the defender turned to pacing Alexia.

"Woahh, hey, calm down. What happened?" She asks the midfielder, placing her hands on her shoulders, trying to stop her from walking around the room.

She takes a deep breath, "Mapi, I have a problem. A huge one."

"Okay, tell me what it is; I know that we can find a solution to it." Her shorter friend reassures her, clearly shocked to see her captain in this state.

"I don't think we can. I just realized that I am in love with her." She says, putting her hands on her face.

"Who?"

"Who? Mapi really? Lady Gaga. No Y/n, you idiot."

"Sorry, I just wanted to check. But why is it such a problem?"

"Because we decided not to have anything serious, and I really don't want to get rejected when I was the one that continuously pointed out that we weren't dating whenever someone asked."

"I think she feels the same. No. I know that she feels the same. Gosh, I spent five days with you two alone in a house; I can understand when two of my best friends are in love with each other. Eyes don't lie. And don't you dare tell that you haven't been already acting like a couple for at least 6 months now!"

"Do you really think that?"

"I know that. Just tell her how you feel. You won't lo-"

You open the door to the bathroom, searching for Alexia. She had been missing for a couple of minutes now, so you were a little worried that she might have been sick.

"Oh, here you are! I thought you left or you were sick!" You say happily when you finally find Alexia and Mapi, but then you notice something wrong with her, as if she was shaken up. "Wait, are you okay?" You asked, worried, coming closer to her.

"I'm okay, cariño." She reassures you, and then her expression changes into something happier and more proud. "I didn't know you were so good at playing the guitar!"

"I was better a long time ago. I haven't played in years, but this woman here." You point at Mapi quickly, "Can't mind her own business."

"Thankfully, she didn't; I know for sure you wouldn't have told me that you are good at playing an instrument."

"I would have told you!" You cross your arms, pouting.

"No, you wouldn't." She shakes her head, smiling, while Mapi nods, backing her up. "You'd hate for anybody to know that you are good at something, just in fear of being at the center of the attention." She explains, making you blink twice. It felt as if you were an open book for her to read and understand you perfectly.

"Get out of my head." You remark shyly, earning from her a chuckle. "So you liked the song?" You ask shyly and insecurely.

She gently places her hands on your cheeks, gently caressing them to give you some reassurance. "I loved it; you are a wonderful guitar player, cariño."

"Thank you." You lightly blush. For a moment, you forget that Mapi is in the same room as the two of you because you place your finger on your lips to silently ask her to kiss you. Which she gladly does, feeling her smile against your lips

"I'm still here, you know!" Mapi interrupts you from your little moment, irritated. "Bleah, I don't think I'll ever get used to seeing this." You raise your middle finger at her, still kissing Alexia, fully starting to make out with her. You hear the door shut, making you temporarily pull away from her to look behind you, then resuming back to kissing her.

Five minutes later, you both decide to go back to your teammates, but as the night progresses, you feel yourself getting more and more tired, making all of your clinginess appear. You would orbit around Alexia more, trying to find some physical comfort in her presence, even though you really didn't want to show off your 'relationship' with her.

She noticed this almost immediately, so when you were passing by her, in a swift movement, she wraps her arms around your waist and dragged you to her lap; you stumble a little, trying to balance yourself, placing your arm on her shoulder,

"Are you tired?" She whispers in your ear as if you were the only two people in the room.

"Yes, I am a little. How did you know?"

"I have already seen you tired many times, cariño. You are very touchy when you are tired." You subconsciously move away from her, but she keeps you in place firmly. "Don't move away; I love this side of you."

At first, your new teammates gave the both of you a surprised look, but nobody would dare to say anything besides Mapi, obviously, who sent you from across the room a knowing look, but you couldn't bring yourself to care.

By the end of the night, you had played some more guitar as some of your teammates wanted to sing some more songs. But after a couple more hours, you were exhausted, and when Alexia noticed it, she decided to bring you home to sleep.

That morning, when you woke up, everything in your body ached somehow. You really had to get used to Barcelona's rhythms. The bed was empty, so you figured that Alexia was making breakfast, so you painfully make it to Alexia's kitchen wearing one of her big shirts and some shorts you found along the way to the kitchen, which were scattered the night before trying to get to the bedroom. She was making coffee the way you liked it, with the moka instead of using her Nespresso machine 'that she loves so much,' which made you smile at her attentiveness. As soon as you walk into her kitchen, she turns around and walks towards you, giving you a small kiss on the lips.

“Good morning, cariño. Did you sleep well?" She turns to her kitchen again, rummaging through the cabinet on top of her stove.

"I slept really well. What are you doing?" You ask her curiously, leaning on the kitchen countertop and peaking.

"So I found out that my mom had a moka in her kitchen all this time, and I didn't even notice it! So I asked her if I could borrow it since I know you prefer this coffee to the machine." She says while putting the coffee maker on the stove.

"Ale, you shouldn't have done that! I would've gladly drank whichever one you had; you didn't have to go through such trouble for me." You lightly slap her shoulder.

"I didn't go through any trouble. I just wanted to make you feel at home."

Before saying something that you most probably regret, aka replying with But you are my home. You dragged her to your height, kissed her to show all of your gratitude, and whispered a small thank you. When the coffee was ready, you both sat down on her small table and had breakfast.

You were talking about some media stuff you were going to do in the afternoon when you heard a knock on the door. Alexia looks at you confused, not expecting anybody, and she leaves with Nana in tow; as she opens the door, you hear Alexia talking to a woman who has a very similar voice to hers, and then you hear her scream, "No, Alba, no!"

You see the woman enter the kitchen with Alexia chasing after her as if she didn't want her to meet you.

"Hello, my name is Alba. I'm Alexia's sister." You suddenly widen your eyes, shocked. She offers you her hand to shake, and you stand up.

"Hi, I'm Y/N." You shake her hand and offer her a shy smile, subconsciously searching for Alexia to help you out with this unexpected visit.

"I know who you are; my sister nearly broke your nose. By the way, I want to apologize on her behalf; she never had proper manners."

"Alba!" Alexia screams, exasperated, while you release a light chuckle.

"Don't worry, she has already apologized. But yes, she has to work on her manners." You wink at Alexia, making her roll your eyes at you.

"Since when are you guys dating?" She asks curiously, earning another frustrated scream from Alexia.

"Oh no. We are not dating; she is just helping me out because a pipe exploded in my apartment." You reassure her while she stares at you confused, then lowers her gaze,

"So you give your clothes to all of your guests?" Alba asks her sister ironically, making you slightly blush.

"Well, I- I," The older sister stutters, making the other draw conclusions by herself.

"So you are dating."

"It's complicated." She says. "Is there any particular reason why you are here?"

"I forgot my sweater here last week, and I need it back. But I can come at another time."

"No, I'll get it for you." She disappears into the house, leaving you and Alba in an awkward silence.

Thankfully, Alexia comes back thirty seconds later,

"So you should come to dinner at mom's house sometime. She would love to meet your new 'roommate.'" She teases her older sister, clearly trying to irritate her.

"Well, then, you should invite Alexandre too since you live at his house more than you live at your own house." She replies sarcastically.

"I thought we reached an agreement to never talk about Alexandre ever again after the incident."

"By incident, she means when I caught them fucking in the bathroom during the semi-finals against Chelsea last year." She explains to you, clearly trying to irritate her sister, making you feel like you are getting way too much information on their dynamics in one sitting.

"Let me guess: when she saw you, she made some sarcastic remark, rolled her eyes, and left, right?" You joke, clearly imagining the scene.

"That's exactly it! Always rolling her eyes at people. So annoying! Finally, someone who gets it!"

"Uggghh." Alexia sighs and rolls her eyes at you both.

"See! She just did it again!"

"I don't like this coalition between the two of you." She lightly pouts.

"It's not a coalition when we are simply just stating the truth!" You lightly tease her, earning an approving nod from Alexia's sister.

"I hate you both!" She exclaims, fully knowing that she was just lying.

"No, you don't." Then you turn to Alba, "It was nice meeting you; I hope we'll see each other soon. I have to get changed for practice." You leave the two sisters while you get ready for training.

After a couple of minutes, Alexia entered your now shared room; you turned to her and placed your hands on her shoulders.

"So you met my sister…"

"She's very nice; I hope I made a good impression." You say insecurely.

"You made a great impression, cariño. I'm just really sorry that you had to meet her in these circumstances. Not to put pressure on you, but my sister can't keep a secret, and she'll definitely tell my mom about you."

"What a way to not put pressure on me." You chuckle nervously.

"Don't worry. I will handle everything, okay?" She gives you a small peck. "Now, are you ready?"

Training that day was even more intense than the day before, with the exception that you were finding so many link-ups with your new teammates. Sometimes, you would forget that you weren't training anymore with your old teammates, that if you passed the ball to the right, you would find Giugliano without looking, or that Linari was right behind you, ready for a pass if you needed it.

Now, you had different teammates, and your body had to get used to it.

Being back on the pitch with Mapi had been so exciting. Both of your styles of play evolved so much that how you played at Atletico didn't matter anymore. She loved playing with the ball, so you'd expect more passes from her than before.

What really changed everything for you were the players up front. Playing behind Alexia and Aitana was something that didn't happen every day. The best way for them to express themselves was if you were able to cover defensively for them, which you were doing gladly. Adapting to their style of play was not simple; they played on short and fast passes and opted less for long passes, which were your specialty.

You were practicing on free kicks, which you thought you were pretty good at. You didn't know why, but you were able to curve the ball perfectly, making the goalkeepers go crazy.

You were in a team with Mapi against Alexia and Graham Hansen, whom you were unceremoniously obsessed with her football skills.

It was your turn to shoot your first free-kick. Paños was on goal, and she was eying the ball. You go for the kick and curve the ball perfectly; the goalkeeper didn't even move because she thought it would be going out. It hit a top bin, and it was in. You throw your hand in the air competitively. "Dajeee!"

"That was a great curved ball! Where did you learn that?" Mapi asked, shocked, as she had never seen you take a free kick like that before.

You shake your shoulders nonchalantly while Caro asks you, "What are your free kick stats?"

"Like all time or just last season?" You ask shyly.

"All the time."

"Well, since I played for Roma, I was usually the one who took free kicks. I guess out of fifty-one direct free kicks, I scored forty-seven if I remember correctly."

"Wait, really?" Alexia asks you, shocked.

"Well, I love taking free kicks, and I practice a lot on them."

"That's not normal, Y/n; that's a really high conversion rate. I don't understand why I just heard about this!" Your friend tells you.

"I don't know, I just love taking them." You shrug your shoulders. "Plus, when I go for a curved ball, I don't know how, but I do it in a way that is almost impossible to predict."

"You can do a knuckleball too?"

"I'm not that good at that." They move the ball to the place and offer you to kick it. You hit the ball hard, and it goes for the post, then bounces off the other and goes in.

You scrunch your nose, dissatisfied, getting a new ball for another free kick, while your teammates look at you, shocked.

You turn to look at them, "What?

"Well, now we have to change teams, or it's going to get too easy for you guys!" Alexia says competitively.

"Oh, hell no! Now it's too late; we already decided on the teams!" Mapi says.

"Well, let Y/n decide." Ale crosses her arms, looking at you. "Do you want to swap teams and be with me, who is currently hosting you in my home, or that woman over there?" She points disgusted Mapi.

"Well, I-"You try to talk.

"Of course, she's going to choose me! I've known her for more than seven years!" They kept on bickering while you and Caro just stared at them, chuckling.

"You know? I think I'm actually switching teams." You raise an eyebrow, smirking.

"You made the right decision," Alexia says proudly. She walks to you to get on your side.

"That's arrogant to assume that I would switch teams with you, Alexia." You give her a smirk and walk to Caro's side, leaving Mapi and Alexia next to each other. "Caro and I are going to destroy you!"

And so you did. After another twenty minutes, you finally leave the pitch and get home with Alexia. Once again, you were exhausted, but you were very happy that you were able to get along with your new teammates.

As soon as you get home, you throw yourself to the couch while Nala jumps on top of you for cuddles, which you gladly give her.

Alexia was still pouting because she lost the free-kick competition. "Oh, come on, you can't be still mad!"

"I'm not mad."

"Well, it's not every day that you get to be on the same team as Caroline Graham Hansen. You know how much I am obsessed with her football skills."

"Well, then, why don't you go and ask her if you could crash at her place."

You sit right up and drag her by the shirt to you. "Are you jealous, piccola?"

"No, I am not! Why would I ever be! Caro is in a relationship with Marta. Plus, I am the one that has two Ballon d'Or." She says, trying to convince you.

"I know. You are the best of the best. I had to basically seduce you so that my team could have a chance against you. And you don't have to worry about anyone. There is no one else." The last words unconsciously slip out of your mouth, making you mentally curse at yourself.

"There is no one else for me either. Y/n, I have to tell you something." You nod at her while placing your arms on her shoulders.

"I'm in lo-"The phone rings again. This time, it is Alexia's phone. She goes to look at it. "It's my agent. I really need to take this."

After thirty minutes, she comes back looking stressed out.

"What was the call about, that made you go on the phone for thirty minutes?" You ask curiously.

"Oh no, I was also on the phone with my mom; that's why I was out for so long."

"Is everything okay at home?"

"Everything is great!" You could see that something was up. "But you know when I told you that my mom found out about you-us?"

"No? I thought that she still didn't know."

"Well, now she does. AndsheinvitedusfordinnerandIdidn'tknowwhethertotellyoubecauseIdon'tknowifyouwanttocome."

"What, sorry? I know you have this cute little habit of talking fast when you are nervous, but remember that I am not Spanish."

"Sorry." She takes a deep breath. "My mom invited us for dinner. You can totally say no, but-"

"I would love to come to dinner, Alexia. You didn't have to be that nervous." You give her a small peck on the lips. "Tell her I will bring the dessert."

"So, are you ready to finally meet your mother-in-law this afternoon?" Mapi asks you while you leave for morning training together. Finally, your home was fixed from the pipe, and you were able to finally live there. There was still a lot of work to do as you had to basically furnish the apartment, which had been really hard, especially when you were away for most of the day.

Thankfully, Mapi offered to help build a table that you had bought from Ikea in your living room, so with some help, your home was starting to take shape.

"She is not my mother-in-law. I am not currently in a relationship."

"I still don't understand why you can't tell her how you feel."

"Fear of rejection. Or fear that it's going to turn out like my previous relationship. Fear of being just delusional or fear of-"

"Okay, you have made your point! I just feel like you should; maybe you'll find out that she feels the same."

"Yeah, right. As if someone like her could fall for someone like me. She's way out of my league. But anyway, you have met Alexia's sister and mom, how are they? Do you have any tips?"

"They are going to love you. Just be yourself."

"That's not helping, Mapi." You chuckle.

"Ugh, just be polite and show that you genuinely care for Alexia. They are very protective of her. Don't show off, and don't be too shy. But I really don't think you are going to have a problem doing all that."

As soon as you went home, you quickly got ready in your desolate apartment; as soon as you were done, Alexia texted you.

Your Favorite Kickboxer ;)

I'll be here in 5 minutes.

The nerves were kinda getting to you, so you paced around your empty living room until Alexia came knocking at your door. As soon as she saw you, she quickly gave you a hug and pecked your lips.

"Hey, Cariño, are you ready?"

"So ready! You don't even know!" You fake out.

"Okay, yeah. You have to work on your lying skills. What's up? You don't have to come if you don't want to." She says calmly.

"It's not that Ale. I'm just nervous. I haven't met the mom and sister of a girl I am seeing since my ex. I'm just nervous, that's it."

"They'll love you, believe me. Now, take a deep breath; everything will be fine. We will go to my mom's for lunch, and she will show you some of my baby pictures, trying to embarrass me, and my sister will do the same. Then we'll get back home, cuddle up on the couch, and watch some of your sappy movies, okay?" You slowly nod, feeling a slight motivation through her words. "Now are you ready, cariño?"

You slightly nod, and she leads you to her car, but before that, you stop her and gently kiss her lips. "Thank you. You know I really, really like you?" You tell her.

"I really, really like you too."

You get to Alexia's mom's house, and the first thing she does is go up and hug you. You were taken by surprise, but after a second of shock, you quickly reciprocated.

"You must be Y/n, right?"

"Yes, it's me. You have a lovely house."

She takes you into the living room, and then she quickly disappears into the kitchen while Alba appears out of her room to see you.

You lightly chat with her until Alexia's mom screams for the two girls to come and help her; they quickly get into the small kitchen, clearly not knowing what to do.

"Do you need help, Eli?" You ask shyly.

"Oh no, you are the guest." She says, gently smacking your hands away from the pan you were stirring.

"Oh really, it's no biggie. I love cooking, plus I know how much Ale is a disaster in the kitchen. I can help if you like." You offer politely.

"For your information, I am a great cook," Alexia says, slightly offended. Neither her sister nor her own mother backed her up. All knowing how bad she was, making you chuckle.

"Don't worry, mija, you have some great qualities too." Her mom lightly teases Alexia, making her pout cutely.

As soon as lunch was ready, you helped set up the table, and you sat down.

"So, Y/n, how do you like Barcelona?"

"Oh, I love it here. I just had a minor slip-up with my apartment, but now everything is fixed."

"You are from Italy, right? Because I don't hear any accent." Her mom asks curiously.

"Well, I lived in Spain for a long time before moving clubs. I played for Atletico Madrid with Mapi."

"So you must be happy having her back as your teammate."

"I'm really glad. Plus, Barcelona has always been my dream club."

"Is it difficult being away from home?"

"Well, I left my home in Italy when I was really young; I left to study in the USA."

"Oh wow, what did you study there?" Alba asks you.

"I studied physiotherapy."

"So when you retire from football, you could become a therapist for Barcelona or some other football club," Alexia suggests.

"Well, I could, but I actually work with prosthesis. I studied to help people who have lost their limbs to build them prosthesis."

"I didn't know that!" Ale tells you, shocked but also proud.

Lunch proceeded great. Ale's mom and Alba were just like Mapi pictured them. Fiercely loyal and protective of one another. You really hoped that you made a good impression because even though you weren't in an actual relationship with Alexia, meeting her family felt like a huge step, and you'd hate for them to not feel like Ale made the right decision by seeing each other.

What you really liked, though, was the fact that you could see how much Alexia was being herself around her family. She didn't have her walls up, nor did she have to keep up with her duties as the captain. She was just herself, and you were lucky enough to be able to experience it and be part of her inner circle.

As soon as lunch was finished, you stood up to help Ale's mom clean up the table, and then you brought the dessert that you had made for the occasion.

"I didn't have much time to prepare something fancier; my kitchen is still a mess."

"You didn't have to prepare anything!" Ale's mom replies while she cuts open the cake you had stress baked for the occasion.

"My parents always taught me to never walk into a home as a guest empty-handed." You simply reply. "And really, it's nothing. I love baking, so actually, you gave me an excuse to make something."

"You know, Y/n, out of all of the girls that Alexia has brought home, you might be the nicest." You turn your head down, blushing, while Alexia, embarrassed, calls out her mother.

"Well, I think that just the fact that you are here means a lot. You know, Y/n, Alexia had a very bumpy love life." Alba calls her sister out, making Alexia send her a death glare.

You were too curious now, "I wanna hear all the details." You rub your hands, waiting for Alba to fill you in.

"Well, Alexia had many situationships that ended rather quickly."

"Alba!" Alexia warns her.

"One lasted two weeks I think, with this nice girl. For the record, she was really nice. The poor girl had the misfortune to be a cat person. Nana didn't like her, so she stopped seeing her."

"For the record, I don't regret it! My Nala is my best matchmaker, and I could never be in a relationship with someone who doesn't like my dog, who's currently living with me."

You chuckle lightly at her, "Thankfully, Nala likes me, or else, I wouldn't have lasted even a day." You tease Alexia, remembering how you met the small dog when you first hooked up with her, how Nala would try to get her owner's attention, but she was too busy on you to actually care.

"Well, thankfully, you are also a Barça fan because my sister left a fucking date because they were a Madrid fan."

"Okay, it did not go like that." Ale tries to explain herself, but she is soon cut off by her sister again.

"You told her that you played football, and she made a small comment about how she slightly preferred Madrid to Barcelona."

"She wanted me to go to the Bernabeu with her." She pauses. "On the Madrid section!"

"Poor girl, you turned down a girl just because of her club preference?" You chuckled at her stubbornness.

"She was also very annoying."

"How many dates did you go with the Madritista?" You ask her.

"One." You all burst out laughing.

"The next girl instead, more than a situationship, was a failed date. She was a friend of a friend of mine, and after the date, Ale called me and I asked how the date went, and she replied that she thought that the girl was amazing, but she didn't like the outfit, so it wouldn't work." Alba chuckles hard, making you shake your head teasingly at Alexia.

"In my defense, she was amazing, but the outfit was too distracting, so much so that it felt like our personalities wouldn't go together."

"You got all that by an outfit?" You ask her incredulously.

"Yes." She states bluntly making you playfully shake your head at her.

By the time lunch was finished, you were about to leave.

"It was lovely meeting the both of you. I really hope I'll see you soon." You go to hug the two women and then leave to go to the car, waiting for Alexia to say the final goodbye.

When Ale gets into the car, she sits in the driver's seat, takes your hand, and kisses it.

"Thank you for coming."

"Thank you, for inviting me. Now let's go home; we have a couch to build."

As you get home, Ale quickly gets ready to build your Ikea couch while you take some of your most valuable stuff, like family pictures or small trinkets that hide memories that you will forever treasure.

You were unpacking the first ball they gave you when you scored your first hat trick, then you moved to a larger box, and you soon felt overwhelmed by how much stuff you had to unpack, making you slightly regret your life choices.

Alexia was still on the floor trying to build up your couch when she suddenly resurfaced clumsily.

"Why are those instructions so difficult? I just feel like Ikea should be better at making them. I should ask Frido." She complains to herself, making you chuckle from across the room.

As you looked at her while she was building your couch, without anything in return, just simply to make you feel more at home, a warm feeling spread through your chest.

You just smiled. Smiled at the woman who came out of nowhere and turned your life around. Smiled at the woman who had taken your heart without you noticing it. And then you realize that maybe what you had with Alexia right now wasn't enough for you. You wanted more. Because those feelings that you had slowly built over time weren't avoidable anymore. What you had with her wasn't enough, and you realized that you couldn't pretend anymore that you were okay with it.

You needed to be alone, to think, to prepare yourself. Just her being in the same house as you was just too much. You were feeling too much. Feeling too much for her.

So you quickly stood up, crossing your arms, unconsciously wanting to close yourself off as much as possible.

"Ale, I need you to get out."

She turns towards you and sees how much you were shaken. "Is everything okay?"

"Everything is good. I just need you to leave, please." You try to be as convincing as possible.

"Everything is not good. You are not good. Tell me what's wrong." She rubs your shoulders soothingly in worry.

You don't know why, but your mind figured that it would be best if you'd just rip the bandaid off.

"Ale, I think we have a problem." You take a deep breath. "I think I'm in love with you."

There was no turning back now. You could take your words back, so you waited patiently as her brows furrowed and then quickly fixed in a soft expression.

"I think we have two problems then. Because I think I am in love with you too."

#alexia putellas x reader #alexia putellas #alexia putellas imagine #alexia putellas one shot #woso imagine #woso #woso fanfics

660 notes · View notes

luveline · 4 months

Note

Hi Jade! I think the KBD universe has to be my favourite thing of yours that you've written, I constantly go back to reread all of them all the time! I'm not sure if you're still taking Christmas requests or if you've moved on and are ready for the New Year, but I was wondering if you could please write about maybe what the girls got for Christmas or how they celebrated the holiday? (this is for if you're still in the Christmas spirit) Or maybe how they are planning to spend New Year's Eve, or day? (this is for if you're ready for the New Year) <3 xxx

kbd —the harringtons chill out before new year's ♡ mom!reader, 1.2k

“Do you think we have enough hot dogs for New Year's?” you ask, eyeing the top shelf of the fridge.

Steve steps in behind you casually, his entire front pressed to your back. An excuse to wrap you up into a hug, he folds his arms over your stomach and drops his nose into your shoulder. “What?” he asks, kissing the sliver of shoulder exposed by your t-shirts drooping neckline.

“Hot dogs. Dove will eat four herself, and that's only one each for the rest of us.”

“Beth won't eat one, and neither will you, probably. So that's two for me and two for Avery. Think we need more?” he asks.

Probably not, but what if Avery decides she wants a third? Avery doesn't have tantrums, she just retreats into herself and cries, which is worse. “I'll put it on the list,” Steve says, likely having had the same thought.

“You're making chilli?”

“For my Beth,” he says, “uh-huh.”

“And I'm making butterfly cupcakes. And Robin's still coming? Wait, what if Robin wants a hot dog?”

“I'll get another jar,” he says, hugging you sweetly. “Okay?”

You turn your face toward him and let him kiss the place under your chin. He's more passionate than you're expecting, which is to say, his hand feels at your stomach and his other rises to just beneath your chest, and he noses at you until your lips are on his.

He turns you slowly into his grasp, chest to chest, and kisses you more.

Steve pulls away to look over your face proudly. “You're so pretty.”

“Thanks, H,” you say. You sew your arms behind his neck for another hug. He squeezes you close and the force of it has him doing that strange sweet thing where he shifts from one foot to the other, dancing you on the spot. “You're pretty too.”

“Not like you.” He sounds like he's smiling. “You're beautiful.”

For once, the planets align, the universe knows how much you need it, and you get to hug your husband for as long as you like. The fridge is cold on your back but he rubs it warm, and the sound of the girls playing in the living room only serves to make your hugging nicer.

“Love you,” you mumble into his shoulder.

“I love you,” he says. He backs away to take your face into both of his hands. “I'm really proud of you. You really knocked it out of the park this year.”

You shake your head, befuddled. “What? Steve, you barely needed my help, you did half the presents on your own, you did all of the grocery shopping, you barely let me cook.”

“You just had a baby.”

“Kind of,” you say.

“So yeah, I'm proud of you. And you worked hard to make sure we had the money for the presents, for the groceries, for all of it.”

“We work hard,” you say bashfully.

“Listen to me,” he says, in his gentlest of tones, the kind he uses when you're sick, his thumbs pushing back the fat of your cheeks slowly, “listen. What you did this year? How hard you've worked, after months of being probably the most pregnant you've ever been,” —you laugh and jostle both yourself and him— “and then just running straight back into it? You think I didn't notice all that?”

“Of course not, you told me enough,” you say quietly.

He smiles and kisses you under the chin with a loud smack of his lips. “Love you so much. Thank you for another perfect Christmas.”

You force him into a second tight hug so he can't see your glassy eyes. It's really, really nice to be loved by him. He always acknowledges you. He's always been this good to you, before and after the babies.

Speaking of. A patter of feet race through the living room to the kitchen. You and Steve turn to see them at the same time, Dove and Bethie hand in hand with a Barbie dangling by the foot in Dove's small fist. “Daddy,” she says, “mommy, hello.”

“Hello, trouble,” Steve says.

“What do you want?” you ask suspiciously.

Bethie looks at her sister then back to you both, caught. “How did you know that we wanted something?”

“You look like you do,” you say. You bend down with a smile and beckon her forward, wiping at a chocolate smudge on her cheek. “Have you been eating chocolate coins again, lovely girl?”

“Some,” she says, grinning. “Dove–” Beth drops her sister’s hand. “I want to have dinner again. And Dove says, um, that she wants some too.”

“You're hungry?” Steve asks, bending down beside you.

“Yes.” She smiles with teeth, an awkward show of teeth. She's very pretty, but she hasn't mastered smiling on purpose. Doesn't matter. Steve would make her a five course dinner in the middle of the night if she asked.

“What do you want, honey?” he asks excitedly. Bethie is a bad eater, so her being hungry is always a good thing.

More footsteps. You hold the door open for Avery as she trots in, already smiling in her new robe as she walks straight into your pyjama-clad thighs. “Mom, guess what?” she asks, her chin digging into your leg.

“What?”

“I finished the puzzle!”

“You did? All five hundred pieces? Oh my gosh, daddy, we have a pro in the house.” Luckily, the other girls weren't interested in Avery's jigsaw, and she's had some time to herself. You hadn't expected Avery to like it as much as she did, you only bought it because it was off different kinds of dogs, which she loves.

Steve beams at Avery with the same shade of pride he'd worn only ten minutes earlier. “No way! Sweetheart, we'll have you on the thousand piece ones in no time.”

She flusters at all the positive attention and hides her face in your hip. Not like her. You giggle and rub the top of her shoulder affectionately. “Can I come and see?” you ask.

She remembers her enthusiasm. “Yes! Yeah, come and look, please. Daddy, please?”

You all march back into the living room to gather around the small table that Avery's commandeered for her puzzle. Dove has been given strict instruction to leave it alone, and she's so high on Christmas happiness she hasn't bothered disobeying.

You peek over at Wren snoozing in her bassinet. She's a sleepy baby now she's done with her colicky tirade of terror. Steve sees you looking and takes your hand, lime he's saying, Yeah, you made that one too.

“Oh, wow,” he says, voice thick with awe.

“You did it so quickly, you're so smart,” you praise, bending down to Avery's height. “Wow, look at the puppies. They're so cute. They're like you.” Mom-ese never fails.

Avery wraps her arms around herself and leans up on toes to kiss your cheek. “Thanks, mom.”

Steve squeezes her arm.

399 notes · View notes

goldsainz · 1 year

Text

THEY BROKE UP? — one shot.

pairing: daniel ricciardo x reader

MASTERLIST.

NOTE: i’m a sucker for angst😁 i don’t know why i felt so inspired, i have never been in a relationship. or what drove me to write that article, which i didn’t spend as much time on as you would think, i guess i was inspired. please enjoy this, happy danny ric grand prix (not anymore😐)!!! this is my longest social media piece to date (templates by @mybodywakesup)

liked by tchalamet, jennaortega and 2,047,159 others

yourusername my EP “FWD” is out in all streaming platforms! this EP comes from a very deep, personal and heartfelt place. many nights of non-stop writing led to me putting out 4 songs i never would’ve released months ago. thank you for giving me time to come back as the best version of myself.

view all 30,707 comments

selenagomez I am so happy you released this! The world needs to see all of your talent shine ❤️

⤷ yourusername thank you for being there sel 🫶

ynfan1 I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR HOW HEARTBREAKING THIS WOULD BE

ynfan2 oh so we’re back to making us cry

dannielfan1 things i wish you said is so about daniel

user1 after 9 months of no content she just puts out four songs?

⤷ ynfan3 please read her newest vogue article before commenting things like this

alexademie i’m in love with you?

⤷ yourusername i’m in love with you too?

ynfan3 LONESOME BEST SONG!!!!!

When I got the call that Y/N Y/L/N wanted to do the article with Vogue, and that I was appointed as the writer I remember thinking ‘What will I say?’. There isn’t much to prepare you when a celebrity like her decides she wants you in her home, opening up about her hardships with you there to listen and write it all down. But, alas, I put my nerves beside me and took all of the questions the world wanted answers to, to the only woman who could answer them.

Her house in the English countryside is just as perfect as you would expect. With dark mahogany floors, potted plants everywhere and white walls that are filled with different memories she framed, Y/L/N’s home is made for those who love the feeling of being at home. It brims with a cosy feeling, from the rugs she picked which bring an unexpected, yet welcome, warmth, to the open space that shows off her beautiful backyard. Y/L/N’s house is nothing short of exceptional. If each room were to speak to me they would all rave about how comfortable they feel, how there is no other that feel like a ‘home’ quite like theirs.

The moment I arrived at her front door, she was the one to open the door and greet me with a hug. There was no one but us at her house, nothing but the comfortable silence and the occasional chirping of a bird. Her outfit was casual, with some Stella McCartney jeans, a Prada silk blouse which she wears with the top 3 buttons open, and a pair of Hermes sandals, it all made her look relaxed whilst still looking polished. She offered me a single-couch to sit down on, offering me different options of beverages she proudly concocted. I opted for a refreshing blueberry lemonade, while she had an already drunk, half-full glass of orange juice.

After what seemed like forever without her presence on red carpets, premieres or her famous F1 paddock appearances, Y/N Y/L/N created an enjoyable life for herself. She admits that even though there have been many hardships, she has pushed through them as best as she can. “Sometimes you just have to take a break, take a moment to look around and wonder what you really need.” She expresses, “This life isn't for everyone. I am very happy with how things turned out for me, and there is not one day I regret what I’ve done. But, there are moments in which things get out of control and space is needed.”

On the outside, Y/L/N has always appeared to the masses as someone who never falters in her step. From her modelling debut when she was freshly 18 years old, turning herself into the face of Prada back in 2012 when the whole world wondered ‘Just who is this girl?’. It wasn't long before she delved into the acting world, with her first role in 2014 for the critically acclaimed film ‘The Grand Budapest Hotel’ as ‘Agatha’. Everyone loved her, wondering what her next move would be, so the whole world was shaken when just a year later she released an album. ‘Honeymoon’ took the world by a storm, with emotional lyrics that only added to the mystery of who she was, Pitchfork said “It's an album about love, but "love", as Y/L/N sings it, sounds like mourning. The romance here is closer to addiction—something that's sought for its ability to blot out the rest of life's miseries…”. Nobody knows who drove her to write this, but the speculations never stopped, not to this day. On the inside, however, she struggled to know who she really was.

She talks about not having the right skills to cope with the sudden fame, how overwhelming it all would really be. Still, she never stopped putting out new content for her fans. Nobody could forget the girl who despite all the luxury that surrounded her, uploaded vlogs to youtube about her life. No one could take away her raw authenticity.

Maybe that is why when in May of 2022 her posts on Instagram, Twitter and Youtube came to a sudden halt, fans wondered what happened to her. What made Y/N Y/L/N drop from the face of the earth? Why did she stop appearing everywhere?

The talk never ceased, the world could not let go of the woman they had grown up with and learned to love over a decade ago. “It was weird seeing all those rumours while I battled to know who I was. I tried as hard as I could to drown it all out, so I uninstalled every single social media app I had. I ended my connection with the world to reconnect with myself.” She says. “It was hard, but it was truly what I had wanted for a while.”

Since she appeared in the spotlight, her relationships or lack of, has been questioned. “I watched my female peers struggle to get away from their love lives, how every interviewer didn't care for the projects they were in, but rather who they were with at the time.” She recalls. “I was in a relationship with who I thought was the love of my life, for almost 7 years. It is rather jarring coming to terms that sometimes people grow, and that you are the one that needs out of a relationship which is nothing short of special. My concept of love was tarnished by a guy who was older than me, and another guy who was just as immature as I was. So naturally, I was swept off my feet when suddenly, all I ever knew wasn't how I thought it was.”

Even now, after the heartbreaking experience she went through, Y/L/N only has kind words to say about the man she loved. “He is a true gentleman, he knew me like no one else did. I guess, along the way, I stopped knowing myself. That was the problem.” She says. “How can someone else know me when I don't even know myself? I asked myself that a lot. I like to think I know myself better now, I learned how to love every part of me, and that was the most rewarding journey. It wasn’t his fault, but I couldn't love someone else without loving me first.”

Self Love is a very important part of her life now. She puts her well-being over her need to succeed, something that made her iconic, was destroying her slowly. “Being an ‘icon’ to many stuck me in a box. There was an underlying feeling of having to always outperform others and myself, it was exhausting and that was how I started losing sight of myself.”

When talking about her future projects, Y/L/N expressed that she was “taking her time”. No more would she be walked over and feel pressured to put out new content, opting for a more relaxed and controlled lifestyle. Though she once was everywhere everyday, she now hopes to be mentioned when she does something valuable and not when she is merely existing.��

“I do have an EP coming out. It is just four songs, but I wrote them alone, and they are my most special songs to date.” She says. “One thing I do not want happening is for people I care for to be harassed or accused of things they are not responsible for. Music is a creative outlet for me, it is never made with the intention to hurt anyone.” She adds. “‘things i wish you said’ is my favourite. It’s the first one I wrote after my breakup, which makes it the rawest out of all of them. I think that's why I like it so much, the other three were written in different periods of my life, some even years ago. It will be fun seeing everyone dissect them.”

She decided to keep the EP to just four songs because all the others were too personal or she decided to keep them for another time. “I’m sure the world would love to know all the nooks and crannies of my past relationship, but that is something I would like to keep between him and me. I am ready to move on from all the pain, to leave it all in the past. If people want to remain stuck there, that is their own choice, I choose to be free and continue growing.”

Y/L/N’s journey is far from finished. She has not even turned 30 yet, but she redirects her narrative because it just does not fit her anymore. She is not that young 18 year-old girl who knows nothing, but rather a 28 year-old woman “ready to move on” as she puts it.

At that point in our conversation, her previously relaxed demeanour has only grown. With her legs tucked on the black leather couch she has in her wide living room, an arm resting on a deep magenta pillow, she is in her own space. Y/L/N smiles and pays attention to every question I ask, she has no qualms in sharing. Though she sometimes opted to give no comment about certain situations, not once did she feel offended or made me feel out of place.

As our conversation came to an end, she gave me one final piece of advice: “Only you can decide what's best for you. Once you learn how to manage other people’s opinions, there is nothing that can truly stop you from being uniquely you. Love yourself, you have one life, why live it in misery?”

liked by ynfan21, danielfan21 and 103,859 others

yndanielenthusiast i will never forget when they both posted the same picture to hard launch their relationship

view all 1,558 comments

ynfan22 what if this was my 13th reason?

ynfan23 we all remember where we were when this dropped

⤷ danielfan22 i woke from a nap, checked instagram and screamed so loud my parents thought someone died

⤷ ynfan23 so real

user21 missing them hours

ynfan24 nothing could’ve prepared for y/n confirming their breakup. nothing.

danielfan23 I NEED THEM BACK

⤷ ynfan25 THOSE TWO WERE LITERALLY MY PARENTS

liked by yourusername, redbullracing and 462,071 others

danielricciardo Don’t leave me hangin 🙃

view all 6,931 comments

ynfan31 y/n liking this😭

danielfan31 IM SO HAPPY HES HAPPY WITH RBR

ynfan32 say what you want abt y/n (don’t) but she’s handling the situation very maturely

danielfan32 he’s smiling while we’re all in shambles smh

⤷ danielfan33 right???

user31 I need him back on track asap

user32 am i delusional to think the caption means something else or…

⤷ ynfan33 yes.

⤷ danielfan34 yes.

liked by danielricciardo, taylorswift and 1,925,836 others

yourusername many things to come 🥂

view all 28,887 comments

ynfan41 istg if she says an album is coming

⤷ ynfan42 it would be crazy but i don’t think so

zendaya cheers to that!

liked by yourusername

user41 her smile <3

danielfan41 ariana what r u doing here🤨

taylorswift 🍾🍾🍾

⤷ ynfan43 I’M SCARED WHAT’S GOING ON

ynfan44 she has something cooking and i am not prepared

1K notes · View notes

saerins · 2 months

Text

PREV: #003 THE FIRST RIPPLE 𖧧 #004 THIS SPARK, IS IT REAL? 𖧧 NEXT: #005 THE ICE SURRENDERS ꒰ series masterlist ꒱

꒰ঌꨄ︎໒꒱ — there’s a lot you don’t understand about what’s going on with sae, but he can say the same about you. question is, once you both find out more about each other, will your growing feelings stay the same?

content: itoshi sae x female reader. fluff/angst. profanity, alcohol, reader is fairly straightforward here, pining, jealousy, misunderstandings. word count: 5.8k

༝༚༝༚ slightly shorter chapter this week ^_^ hehe we’re getting closer to the messier/exciting parts so bear with me heh :) mwah ily guys <3

you’re starting to learn that maybe you can’t get your hopes up with itoshi sae.

a week later, you don’t hear anything from him. you both haven’t spoken since that night he took you out. not that you’re entirely too bothered—it’s a first for you, trying to get to know someone as in-demand as sae. (you don’t count eita because you’ve known him since before the fame.)

it doesn’t help that you don’t really have anyone to talk to about this. you promised sae that you wouldn’t spill, and you’re keeping that promise. somehow, it makes you feel a little warm inside; thinking that there is some sort of intimacy you share with sae that only the two of you know.

besides, even if you could talk to eita about it, you don’t want to.

is it too quick for you to think you might fall for him?

falling for someone isn’t really in your life plans yet, especially after your last and only tumultuous relationship, but maybe itoshi sae is different. he sure seems like it.

the next week rolls around, and you still hear nothing from him. which is fine with you; you’ve resigned yourself to thinking what’s yours will be yours and not to force anything… even if you spend most of your idle time wondering if sae is ever going to post anything on his private account. did he really just create it solely because you asked him to?

you can see that he logs in to it, judging by his icon on that little viewer list in your stories. but that’s the extent to which you see him online. he doesn’t reply, or do anything much. considering his normal account is probably mainly run by his team, you guess you shouldn’t expect too much from him.

still, maybe it’s a little pathetic of you to be wearing his cap so frequently. it’s sort of become a staple piece for you, somehow. to be fair, there’s hardly any dress code in place for you to follow and considering the bulk of your workwear is mostly casual, it fits right into your style. although, after sumi pointed out one day that it’s a luxury brand and that it costs more than you would personally ever spend on a cap (even if you had the means to), you try to wear it less often. (though that seems like a waste considering it was given to you.)

“you know, you gave the boss a really good scoop, enough to last for a few months,” sumi points out during lunch, taking a lick of her vanilla ice cream as the both of you sit out on the roof, escaping the cramped office. “so why do you look so stressed?”

honestly, you didn’t even realise you did. you thought you were being normal, but it has been a while since you had a normal crush on someone, and since itoshi sae is certainly not just a normal somebody, maybe you had been acting a little off, always waiting for a text, a call even, something.

“nothing, i just haven’t been able to get a good sleep lately,” you lie, hoping that sumi won’t pry.

she doesn’t.

“hm, it’s friday today,” she hums, pondering. “maybe you should find a few of your friends, get out, let loose, you know?”

later at your desk, the clock almost striking 5pm, you think maybe you should. because as much as you love your chill friday nights alone (mainly because your mom is barely home on the weekends), you don’t think it’ll do you much good if you keep mulling over the same old thing.

but just as you’re about to go pester eita again, he gets to you first, his timing impeccable today.

there’s an aching disappointment in your chest when you realise sae isn’t going to be there. maybe it’s just the glaring difference between the life of a celebrity versus someone normal like you. his schedule must usually be packed to the brim after all.

whatever, you’ll let him come back to you on his own time. for now, all you want to do for the weekend is to spend it having fun with the guys and settling everything you need to on saturday and spend sunday to yourself.

this possible thing between you and sae, whatever it could be, can wait. you’re not in any rush. at least, that’s what your head tells you.

your heart feels something different.

it’s only the second time you’re actually hanging out with eita’s friends, but you’re not regretting it one bit. even on the day of the event they’d been welcoming to you, and tonight is no exception.

they’re all sat around the wooden table on the balcony, a ton of beer cans and liquor bottles littered across the table. you sit on the long end, on the long chair, right beside eita, sides of your bodies always pressed close together that it makes a glint form in oliver’s eyes.

he’s still curious, not out of concern but just because, about you and eita and sae and how everything is going to tie together. it’s not everyday he sees eita being okay with a girl that close to him and not complain that she’s a bother. it’s also not everyday that sae creates a private account. oliver got bored and saw one day that you were the first person he followed.

you must really be something.

“where even is sae today?” you hear sendou ask, a hiccup following suit. “i finally come over and he’s not even here.”

he’s sitting on your other side, his profile strangely reminding you of the very guy he’s asking about. maybe it’s the way his hair is a lighter shade of pink, maybe even his sharp jawline. his eyes are different though, more expressive, and universally soft somehow.

you remember how sae’s can look soft, his teal eyes turning gentle whenever you try to approach him. but it wasn’t that way when you first met him, that’s a given.

“i don’t know, said he was too tired,” oliver sighs, stretching in his seat.

“wasn’t he just with bianca yesterday?” yukimiya asks, oblivious to oliver’s glee.

it kind of stings, but you stay quiet, the alcohol slowly seeping into your system. you can feel eita leaning against you a little bit more, and his presence has always been comforting, so you let him.

sendou hums, index finger tapping against his near-empty beer can. “is that still going on? how long has their relationship status been a mystery already?”

karasu snorts, nudging sendou on the elbow. “salty just ‘cause you tried to ask her out and she rejected you?”

as you sit quietly and observe, it seems that sendou was once at an event with her too—apparently, he had asked her for her number and she didn’t even want to give it to him. and then a month later she “met sae and was all over him”, according to karasu.

with the exception of eita, who sits quietly beside you, they start a debate on whether or not sae’s finally starting to see bianca in a different light. or, as sendou points out, “maybe they’ve been a thing all along and just hid it really well from everyone.” it’s not exactly something you want to listen to, even if you are the most curious you’ve ever been about a guy, so you block it out from your ears.

but oliver leans forward, resting his chin on the liquor bottle in front of him, staring straight at you. you’ve never really noticed it but his eyes are really beautiful, the different shades of green and purple making him seem ethereal just like that.

“you’re a girl, y/n, what do you think?” he asks you, a lazy drawl in his tone.

mirroring his actions, you bat your eyelashes at him, looking innocent as ever when you answer him. “i think you guys should stop talking about that her behind her back like that,” you say, earning a raise of oliver’s brows in return. he’s surprised, to say the least, but not in a bad way.

it’s not even that you don’t want to hear about her. you’re wantonly curious, especially since you’re beginning to realise your small hint of emotions towards sae, but something tells you that these guys wouldn’t be too kind with their words if you egg them on.

karasu gives you a nod of approval that you miss before he leans back in the chair, whispering to yukimiya, “at least we all know shidou won’t totally hate y/n.” but it’s too soft for you to hear, and you probably won’t even be able to make sense of it even if you did, not with the gradually increasing level of alcohol in your system.

between intentionally drinking to not be a pathetic mess who keeps thinking about her potential love life and having to drink because you’re usually good at drinking games but not when oliver is around with the way he keeps beating you at everything, you happen not to notice a lot of things.

at one point, oliver has replaced sendou next to you, whispering snarky comments in your ear in between games. he’s not the flirting kind, at least not to you, and he doesn’t push your boundaries physically either—he’s more akin to a friend you’d love to gossip with. that’s why you don’t even think much when he tilts his camera towards you, taking a selfie with both you and eita in it.

just a normal picture of friends hanging out, oliver leaning against your legs, propped up on the chair, your own head leaning into the crook of eita’s neck, all of you evidently tipsy from the dazed look in your eyes.

what neither of you notice is oliver’s smirk as he posts the picture onto his private, betting on his target audience of one to see it.

and now, he’ll just have to wait.

one hour later, the doorbell rings and yukimiya’s eyes glance over to eita, comfortable with an arm around you, and he takes it as his cue to open the door. eita’s probably too reluctant to move and he’ll let whoever it is at the door keep at it for hours before he’ll answer the poor guy.

he’s expecting some random food delivery, maybe from karasu because he’s been whining about wanting some chicken with his beer, or maybe even shidou showing up at the last minute from his other party. but this? the person he’s staring at in the eyes right now, is the last person he expected to see tonight.

“wait, i thought you weren’t coming?” yukimiya asks, but oliver’s already shouting from the balcony.

“hey, sae, what the fuck are you doing here?” he asks from the balcony, taking a swig of his beer.

beside him, you hear sae’s name and your head immediately whips around to look at the door. there he is, looking tired as ever but he’s there, in the flesh, dressed in all black, jacket and sweats, teal eyes finding you from all the way across the house.

sae wordlessly walks past yukimiya, the latter following behind him, still shocked that he’s even present. sure looks like sae always means it when he says he wouldn’t come to gatherings like these.

when he gets to the balcony, earning a cock of oliver’s brow, sae tilts his head, “i was invited, wasn’t i? what’s so surprising about that?”

oliver snickers at sae’s blatant avoidance of the question. deciding he wouldn’t get anything out of him anyway, he shrugs and accepts it. besides, he can already see that sae’s too busy trying to calculate if there’s enough space for him to sit beside you, with the way his eyes are scanning your surroundings. maybe it doesn’t help how eita’s so clingy with you, his arm still around you even when you’ve already straightened up.

both sae and eita are just staring blankly at each other, and everyone is aware of it except for you, because your head’s a little dizzy and you’re still thinking whether sae popping up here is a figment of your imagination.

you’re not that drunk, are you?

you get your answer when a shadow looms over your body, the familiar scent of his cologne wafting into your nose. he smells the same he did that night you kissed him.

“what, this seat taken?” sae asks, and you dumbly look down at the small edge of space beside you.

no, it’s not, but you’re probably going to have to squeeze between him and eita if he sits there, no more legroom. you shift anyway, eita making space (albeit reluctantly), the way sae ends up being so close to you enough to send your mind into overdrive. you’re still wondering why he showed up.

you, and everyone else. not oliver though. he knows why. and it’s not like he wants to intentionally make you cough out your feelings but it looks like the other guys who are oblivious to your feelings are steering in that direction.

“no bianca today?” karasu asks, a mocking tone in his voice.

sae doesn’t show an ounce of emotion, though. “wasn’t with her.”

“why not? scared we’re gonna make you two make out again like last time?” yukimiya asks, finally relaxing back in his seat. he says it jokingly, although you know the sentence at hand probably isn’t a joke.

“wait wait wait, you two made out?” sendou asks, incredulous, mirroring your exact thoughts.

a jealousy creeps up your spine, engulfing your alcohol-riddled distractions. some part of you wants to know what it’d be like to be kissed by him. you purse your lips into a firm line, wondering if you were being an accidental homewrecker by kissing him that night.

“it was just a game,” sae responds, making no moves to drink the beer handed to him.

eita pulls his arms away, moving in favour of getting you a drink. it’s not that he even knows anything that’s going on between you and sae, but he can tell by how you’re stiffening up that you’re probably a little affected. he slides a shot over to you, and you down it with ease.

ignoring the way the other guys keep harping on the topic, sae turns his attention to you, flicking the tip of the cap he gave you, and you shift your gaze to look up at him, the small smirk he gives you when you do making your heart flutter again.

why is it so easy for him to do that to you?

“haven’t sold my cap yet?”

you thank the heavens you’re not too tipsy to be normal. “i’m holding out for higher bids, actually,” you quip, grinning. “you can offer one too if you want it back.”

sae hums, head tilted again as he ponders while staring at you. slowly, he leans down to your ear, whispering so only you can hear him, “how much do i have to bid for you to keep it?”

maybe it’s the liquor, but you feel your cheeks heat up. it can’t be his close proximity. it can’t be the way he’s so close that you can see the beating pulse on his neck. it can’t be the way you think you look more intimate here than you should. definitely can’t be the way all the guys have noticed and are giving each other looks.

why does he even want you to keep it? is this some sort of abstract way that he’s using to tell you that you’re not an accidental homewrecker?

you make a mental reminder to yourself to never get drunk in front of sae. you don’t want to end up blurting out some less-than-decent thoughts of yours.

“what’s wrong? too tipsy now to talk back?” sae asks, and you can only pout at him, not in your usual condition to think of smart comebacks. it makes the corner of his lips tug upwards just a little bit more than usual, his hand coming up to teasingly push the cap down further—in that seemingly affectionate way he does.

and maybe it isn’t such a good idea to agree to continue to play games, not when you got roped into never have i ever and karasu, to the delight of oliver, said he has never fucked anyone at this table. seeing that only you and eita put a finger down, everyone can tell there’s probably a complicated history between you and eita. not that you owe them any explanation, though you kind of do feel the urge to tell sae that it was in the past.

you steal a glance at him beside you, the mild look of surprise befallen on his handsome face. you wonder if he thinks badly of you now. you wonder if he’ll think badly of you when he sees what your life is really like. will he think you’re just going to be a stain on his fancy life that it’ll be better off not knowing you?

or maybe… maybe he has a complicated past too. with bianca.

funnily enough, eita loses after yukimiya says he’s never had sex with more than five girls. the disappointing part is you didn’t really get to know anything interesting about sae.

“hey, you feeling okay? you can stop playing if you wanna,” sae tells you later on, after god knows how many minutes have passed and you’re already onto the next game. you don’t even know why you agreed to play two truths one dare in the first place when you know it’ll just be a shitshow for you.

over the course of x minutes, you’d managed to learn many things, some of which being that karasu and eita had shared a girl in bed, that yukimiya dared to do a body shot on oliver, that sae would consider bianca an important person to him, and that you really can’t make up your mind to go big or go home because oliver had just dared you to spend seven minutes in heaven with anyone of your choosing.

of course, you can safely choose eita and trust him not to do anything if you told him to. but on the flip side, you can choose who you really want. even if you’re not so sure he’d want to anymore.

“you can always choose me,” oliver jokes, lifting the mood. although the smirk on his face makes you question it. “i’ll definitely show you a good time.”

while you’re having an internal dilemma, karasu and sendou are in the background teasing oliver for being fake, saying that he shouldn’t be offering that if he’s already interested in miss manager.

but you snap out of it when the irritated sigh you hear out of sae somehow feels like the world is sending you a sign. in some way. you’re not sure if you’re reaching—is he bothered by oliver’s comments? and why does oliver look so smug all of a sudden?

you’re beginning to regret not being sober, you can’t figure this shit out. but what you do figure out is what you want to do. why think so much about tomorrow when the present is right here?

so you don’t pay it any more thoughts, getting up and dragging sae with you by the shirt, ignoring all the commotion left behind by the guys, save for eita who only stares blankly at you as you drag sae into his own room and lock the door.

“oh shit, sorry dude, didn’t mean to—”

“for the last time, just friends,” otoya snaps, cutting karasu off, although not even sendou believes him. for someone who doesn’t even care to treat people nicely, sendou can at least see that eita treats you a fair bit better than anyone else.

in the room, sae can only watch blankly as you stumble over your feet before finally settling on the edge of otoya’s bed. the envious, green side of him can’t help but wonder how many times you’d been here, in his room, with him. though it’s kind of amusing how you chose to bring sae in here now.

from what sae can tell, you’re probably a little more tipsy than you should be in these types of situation, and a part of him is relieved that you’re not here with anyone else. if you were here with otoya, would you be fooling around by now?

“so, thought you were too tired to show up—what happened?” you ask from where you are on the bed, body swaying slightly, eyes threatening to close.

the moment he takes a seat next to you, you lean close, your head coming to rest on his shoulder, and sae has no doubt that you’d already drank a lot before he came. proximity this close, he can smell the shampoo in your hair, can feel how soft it is.

“i couldn’t sleep, got bored, that’s all.”

your shoulders vibrate slightly as you giggle, pulling away, a suspicious glint in your eyes. “damn, and here i thought you came for me.”

even when you’re intoxicated you still have such a smart mouth. sae shrugs, his gaze turning ever so soft, like every time before when he looks at you. there’s something about you that he can’t quite place, something that makes him act so differently than he usually does, and for once he doesn’t hate it. “did you want me to?”

not taking the bait, you keep up your casual demeanour, even if your eyelids feel heavy and you’re about five seconds away from just passing right out on the bed.

“you know, it’s fine to say you missed me and wanted to see me,” you tell him, grin wide as ever, almost infectious. you’re only surviving on liquid courage right now, the way you unashamedly try to flirt. though, if sae isn’t moving away, does that mean he doesn’t mind?

he looks off to the side, pondering for a while before turning back to you with a straight face, “i missed you, wanted to see you.”

for a moment, you feel like your heart might stop.

“is that what you wanna hear?”

almost instinctively, you grab the stray pillow lying on the bed and fling it at sae, earning an amused laugh from him but you barely realise it, too caught up in the frustration that his words were just strung together to entertain you as opposed to his actual feelings.

crossing your arms, you look away, the exhaustion of the day coupled with the dread of tomorrow nipping away at your consciousness. “don’t patronise me, itoshi sae,” you huff, and you miss the way he looks at you with a smile on his face.

will you remember any of this tomorrow? you’re not drunk, but you’re not exactly thinking straight either.

“were you… very busy this past week?”

your question is voiced so softly, almost like you’re afraid to ask, and sae realises maybe he should’ve at least told you he wouldn’t be able to make it as early as he thought he would.

“yeah, i was.”

technically, he isn’t lying. he was back in japan last saturday, but maybe he had been too wrapped up in his thoughts to do anything else.

“with bianca?”

it’s even softer this time, and for some reason, sae’s almost kind of relieved you’re asking. he just doesn’t know what it is.

“no, not really,” he tells you. it’s complicated, and you don’t even have context; he wouldn’t even know where to begin talking to you about it.

you put your legs up on the bed, hiding your face between your knees, and sae’s left wondering whether alcohol really makes that much of a difference. you seem bold, shy and teasing all at once. his hat is still on your head, your thoughts coming out into the open.

“are you… involved with her?” your voice is muffled, but he hears you loud and clear.

a small smile dawns onto his face, safe from your view. he doesn’t really know the implications of you asking the question, but he likes how you don’t beat around the bush. it’s nice not having to constantly guess what you really mean.

and maybe it’s you rubbing off on him, but he doesn’t answer it straight.

“curious, y/n?”

when you lift your head up to look at him, you see the widest smile he’s ever given you, objectively much smaller and way more subtle than everyone else, but it’s a smile all the same and it makes your heart beat faster in your chest.

“yes,” you answer honestly, because you’re not sure when exactly you’re going to pass out but you have a feeling it’ll be soon and eita’s bed is just so soft.

sae is only mildly stunned by how straightforward you are, so he decides to do you a favour. he doesn’t usually like divulging things like this; topics that bring gossip and are undoubtedly going to come back to him if it gets out. what’s more, you work for a sports magazine so you can totally use this against him, but it isn’t even that you’re intoxicated right now, but more so that he feels he can trust you with it.

slowly, he reaches his hand over, and for once he tips the cap upwards a little so he can see your eyes when he tells you, “stupid, i’m not involved with anyone.” is that clear enough for you? he’s not sure why but he hopes it is.

what does he even want with you?

the moment you hear it, you break out into a wide smile, genuine and actually infectious this time because sae feels the corners of his lips threatening to pull upwards even more. what the heck is this feeling?

“really? i’m so relieved,” you exhale, voice a little airy, looking a little too pretty that sae immediately pulls the cap back downwards. “so,” you move on, adjusting it back in position, daring to move closer to him, face so close to his own that he has nowhere else to look except straight into your eyes. “we have four minutes left. will you grant me whatever i want, itoshi sae?”

you have a habit of calling him by his full name. he makes a mental reminder to get you to change that. not tonight though, he doesn’t want you to forget.

it’s weird how he feels around you; why does he feel so overwhelmed yet want more both at the same time? he swallows the lump in his throat, keeping his composure, “depends, you’re pretty demanding, tell me first and i’ll consider.”

“itoshi sae, i’m not!” you refute, punching him playfully on the arm and he has to hold your arm to stop you from falling off the bed. “i don’t know. the guys outside are probably expecting us to fuck or something.”

there you go, unfiltered and he kind of likes it. his fingers are still around your wrist.

but the answer is crystal clear to him.

“no.”

“huh?” it takes you a while to process. given that the only thoughts in your head as of right now are only: what does sae think of you and eita? and bianca is important to him. “what if it was just a kiss?”

he hums, then shakes his head. “nope.”

“wait, am i not pretty enough for you or something?”

you’re whining and sae finds it cute of all things. you have a tendency to misunderstand, so maybe he needs to adjust how he talks to you. he’ll see. but before he can even say anything else, your head falls into his chest, your regular breathing the only sound that fills the room after. he’s perplexed and amused all at once; how did you manage to fall asleep so quickly?

contrary to your thoughts, sae has always thought you were pretty, ever since the first night he met you. even in your private account where you post yourself in hoodies too big for your body and no makeup, clad in sweats—still pretty.

sae sighs, his fingers stroking your hair now that you’re asleep, and whispering in your ear only when you’re not able to hear him.

“if i do that, i think i’ll end up wanting more.” and you’re drunk and that’s not what he really wants.

but he does give you what you ask for, pressing a soft kiss on your forehead.

that’ll have to do for now.

“so, nothing happened?” sendou asks, bored, as sae carries you on his back as he comes out of the room.

you’re passed out and drooling on his shoulder and he doesn’t really care about that.

“it’s sae, c’mon, did you expect something?” karasu laughs, all of them coming in from the balcony because in the seven minutes both of you had spent in the room, it managed to start raining. “maybe if it was bianca, y’know, then maybe.”

sae ignores all their passing comments, choosing to walk over to otoya, “hey, she passed out, i’m just gonna take her home.”

as much as sae isn’t particularly fond of otoya, he’s probably your closest friend here and he doesn’t want him to think he’s just going to take advantage of you.

otoya’s green eyes flicker to the clock on the wall before he shakes his head, speaking softly so the others won’t hear. “nah, just put her in the guest bedroom. i’ll send her back in the morning. you can head back first.”

there’s an irritation that builds up inside him, but sae maintains his emotionless expression, remembering that otoya knows you much more than he does. “i could just—”

“she doesn’t want to go home tonight,” otoya cuts in, a warning glare in his eyes. “trust me.”

suddenly, sae remembers the last time he met you, your swollen cheek and the way your eyes were glazed over. and he wants to ask otoya what it’s all about but this is about you, and he really shouldn’t ask someone else.

“fine,” sae concedes. if whatever’s at home makes you miserable, he won’t bring you there. “i’ll put her in there before i go.”

there’s a lot more otoya would like to ask sae, because oliver’s not the only one curious at sae’s seemingly odd behaviour. he wants to know what exactly he thinks about you, but everyone’s still around and it’s not a good time, so he sucks it up and lets it go for tonight.

as sae puts you down on the bed and pulls the blanket over you, he gets a brief flashback of the night he set bianca down in her hotel room. you’re both so similar, and yet not at all.

and when he’s about to turn and go, your fingers reach out to tug at the hem of his jacket sleeve, almost effectively making sae’s heart leap out of his chest. your eyes are still shut, so there’s no chance you’re actually conscious right now. still, your mouth opens.

“stay with me?”

sae stills. do you know it’s him? or do you think he’s otoya? either way, you and bianca really are similar, even when you’re not completely awake. so why… why are his reactions so different?

it’s not like he has anything on tomorrow, so it’s really no imposition.

before he knows it, he’s sitting on the floor, right next to where you sleep on the bed, your fingers enveloped in his palm, his head propped on the mattress, his own exhaustion catching up to him.

it’s been a messy week; trying to gather his thoughts about you every single time he’s free, having to talk to bianca and thinking about that, and then coming back just to see oliver and otoya so close to you that it bothers him a little. finding out about you and otoya takes the cake, though.

how special is otoya to you?

the question lingers unanswered as he drifts to sleep, both of you subconsciously finding comfort in the other’s innocent warmth.

the next morning when you wake up, you’re half shocked half happy to find sae where he is, sleeping there peacefully, the previous night’s exhaustion dissipating from his face.

did he take care of you last night? you can only hope you didn’t puke in front of him. that would be embarrassing.

you’d like to stay, wait for him to wake up and talk to him and make sure you didn’t say or do anything too out of line because your memory’s a little foggy, bits and pieces that you can’t quite piece together or even tell if they’re real or dreams.

but you can’t.

you remember what day it is today and reluctantly get out of bed. though, feeling a little cheeky, you quietly grab a small black marker out of the drawer, suppressing a grin as you scribble on sae’s palms, hoping he won’t wake up from this.

a couple hours later, by the time sae gets up, the bed is cold and still undone. it’s already noon, and somehow the first thing he thinks of when he wakes up is you—are you already home? did otoya send you?

but the question that pops up in the forefront of his mind when he sees otoya lazing around on his couch later on is none of that.

and to be fair, otoya has the very same question in his head.

“do you like her or something? y/n.”

otoya is the one to ask, eyes still glued onto his phone screen, typing something out. sae can’t help but wonder if he’s talking to you.

“what’s it to you?” sae asks. he can hear the snores of the other guys coming from otoya’s room.

otoya shrugs. “just curious. she’s my best friend after all.”

there’s a certain possessiveness in the way he says it that rubs sae the wrong way. still, sae supposes that if otoya’s your best friend, he shouldn’t be too impulsive with his words.

“maybe i like her,” sae says, the tension in the air getting thicker.

“in what way?” otoya still hasn’t looked up from his phone.

“same way you do.”

“i don’t know what you mean.”

otoya scoffs, both of them acting coy with one another. “bianca and y/n, huh? busy guy,” otoya sighs, tossing his phone aside and getting up, walking towards sae, hands in his pocket. both of them are staring the other down, feeling the situation out. “i think i suit y/n better, you can have bianca.”

now it’s sae’s turn to scoff, sharp eyes piercing through otoya’s own. “why don’t we let y/n decide for herself, huh?” he quips, before grabbing his car keys out of his pocket and leaving through the front door.

as he settles down in his car and turns the engine on, it’s only then that he realises the black marks on his palm.

thank you ᡣ𐭩

somehow, just one look at it is enough to ease the tension on his shoulders.

you really can do wonders.

extras !

otoya’s hostility towards sae was intentional.

sae didn’t try to wash your writing off—he let it fade away naturally.

if yn was sober, she would’ve not been as straightforward as he was in the room with sae. but she definitely would’ve flustered sae a lot more with her playful personality.

the whole time, oliver was live recounting the events of the night to miss manager, all of which are left on read.

if bianca had been there, sae would have been a lot more cautious about his actions and probably wouldn’t have acted too close to y/n.

random fact #1: otoya plays bass, used to perform in a band back in university. part of how he got so many girls interested in him but he was always with y/n which made a lot of them unhappy.

random fact #2: sae has never really been jealous before so now that he’s feeling it, he’s a lot more sensitive to it than normal people.

taglist! @yuzurins @saeskiss @raphsimp @lust4rin @mxplesyrvp @chieeeeeee @yumekolovesyukimiya @kunirayuna39 @auranny @sereniteav @gskill @saesgrl @riseena @rikijbol @sagejin @shironagi @veecynii

#bllk x reader #sae x reader #itoshi sae x reader #bllk x you #blue lock x reader #bllk x y/n #sae x y/n #itoshi sae x you #itoshi sae x y/n #sae x you #blue lock x you #itoshi sae #itoshi sae imagines #bllk imagines #blue lock imagines #itoshi sae fluff #૪ aeri’s fics !

217 notes · View notes

eddiemunsons80sbaby · 3 months

Text

Never Say Never

Chapter 9

Pairing: SingleDad!StevexReader

Summary: You are a 32 year old single mother, raising your seven year old son on your own. After being widowed at 30 and going out on awful dates with disgusting men for the past month, you have decided that you're giving up. You already had your great love. One person can't possibly get lucky enough to have two in their lifetime. But then your son starts playing baseball and the coach might just change your mind about that.

No posting schedule.

18+ only for eventual smut

Word Count: 8.4K

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

“Would you stop stressing? You look like a million bucks,” Dustin told Steve. He leaned back against the bathroom wall, watching Steve in the mirror as he ran his fingers through his hair for the twelfth time. “She already knows what you look like, dude. This isn’t your first time meeting.”

“I know, I know,” he sighed, lips pressing together as he surveyed his reflection. “Do you think the button-down is too much? It’s too much, isn’t it? I should change into something more casual.”

“No, man,” Lucas groaned. “That’s the seventh shirt you’ve put on. It’s not too much. It’s perfect for a first date. It’s a button-down but it’s loose and short sleeved.” He stepped up, grabbing onto Steve’s shoulders and turning him around. He unbuttoned the top two buttons, revealing a bit of the undershirt. “There. Now it’s nice but also casual. It says this is important to you but also that it’s going to be an easygoing and fun time. Best of both worlds.”

“Plus, she gets a little peek of the chest hair.” Dustin rolled his eyes, snorting. “I still don’t get it but apparently, the ladies dig the jungle you’ve got going on. Maybe it takes them back to their primal instincts. You know, caveman days? The hairier, the more manly, the better they’ll be able to conk things over the head and provide?”

Steve sighed, his eyes rolling toward the ceiling, “Seriously, Henderson? This seems like a good time to compare me to a caveman?”

“Yeah, you can’t be doing that,” Lucas teased, ruffling Steve’s hair.

“Dude! Seriously!?” Steve protested, shoving him off before turning back to the mirror, fingers working to fix it once again.

“Calm down,” laughed Lucas. “Our Stevie’s all nervous and you’re only making it worse, Dustin. He’s got a mad crush on hot single mom. I mean, our man has got it bad and he’s Steve which means he has a high probability of being a doofus and potentially destroying his only shot at his soulmate. Then our poor Steve would be doomed to spend eternity all alone and pathetic with nothing but Miles to keep him warm at night.”

“Jesus, you guys suck, you know that? I really don’t know why I keep you around.”

“Because you love us and your life would be a barren wasteland of boredom and monotony without the pleasure of our company,” stated Dustin.

“Come on, Steve,” Lucas snorted, throwing his shoulder into him. “You know we’re just messing with you. You’re going to be fine. From what we saw, this girl likes you just as much as you like her. She wouldn’t have agreed to go out with you otherwise.”

“Yeah. You two have already spent tons of time together. You really think she’d agree to hang out with you as much as she has if she didn’t like you? Do you really think she would have agreed to a date if she wasn’t crushing too? Trust me. This date is going to go great.”

Steve turned back to the mirror, assessing his image one more time. His hair was definitely working for him tonight, swooping to the side perfectly. Herbal Essences Flexible Airspray wasn’t quite like the Farrah Fawcett spray used to be for him but it did an okay job. He wore a yellow linen button down, short sleeved to keep cool with the weather that was quickly moving more toward summer temps. Nothing said unsexy like nasty pit stains and body odor. He’d paired it with a white tank underneath and gray dress slacks.

His body hummed with anticipation but also with nerves. He couldn’t wait to pick you up but he also couldn’t help dreading it a bit. All of this time he’d spent hoping, wondering if it would ever actually happen, and now was the big moment. He would either soar or fall flat on his face. This was going to be the moment of truth. He wanted to make a good impression. He wanted this to be successful. He wanted you to want to go for date number two.

The other night had been perfect. You'd ordered pizza and watched Air Bud with the boys. Steve had set up sleeping bags on the living room floor to make it a true sleepover. But he hadn’t gotten much sleep, continually waking to ensure that you were still breathing. Robin might be neurotic but her words had gotten to him as he watched your chest closely to ensure it was still rising and falling. Miles, who’d chosen to sleep on your feet on the couch, kept giving him a look that said calm down, man. I’m right here. I got her.

Steve had made everyone french toast for breakfast and put coffee in a thermos for you before you headed back home to get ready for work. The scene in front of him had done a number on his head. Steve plopping hot bacon on their plates while the boys chattered about a new superhero scenario they were going to play at recess, you grinning at them, was picture perfect. The hugs as you headed out the door, Jeremiah even running forward to hug your legs and tell you he was so happy you were okay, sent him reeling. Not because it was weird but because it wasn’t. When you hugged him, kissed his cheek, thanking him for the coffee and taking care of you, he realized he could get used to this. Mornings with you. Evenings with you. Your little families together and while it was a bit scary that he was thinking this so quickly, he couldn’t deny how badly he wanted it.

Jeremiah came walking into the bathroom, Mike right on his heels. The guys had all agreed to watch him tonight so Steve could go out. They were planning on some DnD, a campaign they’d started with him a couple weeks ago and his son had been overjoyed when he’d found out that not only was his dad going out with Eli’s mom but that he was getting to hang with his uncles.

Steve turned to his son, spreading his arms out, “What do you think, Jere? Do I look good?”

His son pressed his thumb and forefingers together, giving him the okay sign along with a wink, “You look great daddy. Eli’s mommy is going to think you’re super handsome.”

“Thanks, kid.” He lifted Jeremiah up into his arms, mourning for a moment how big his son was getting, how time was slipping away like sands through a sieve that he couldn’t catch no matter how hard he tried. It wouldn’t be too much longer before he didn’t want to be picked up anymore, didn’t want to climb in his lap, didn’t want to snuggle down in his bed with a book at bedtime. Steve found himself grasping at his son’s childhood, willing it to just slow down a bit.

“Remember to be a gentleman, daddy,” Jeremiah reminded him. “Open the door for her and pull out her chair. And make sure you listen when she’s talking and ask questions about her. Ladies like when guys listen.”

Steve’s head darted back, looking in surprise at his kid. “And how exactly do you know that?”

“I heard Aunt Max and Aunt El saying they hate when Uncle Lucas and Uncle Mike don’t listen to them,” he answered with a shrug. “Aunt Max said she talks to a wall. I don’t really know why. That seems kind of silly because a wall can’t talk but she was definitely annoyed that Uncle Lucas doesn’t listen.”

Lucas and Mike shared a look, eyes wide, clearly realizing that they were being called out by a seven year old. Steve laughed, setting his son back on the ground. Jeremiah was a little too observant for his own good sometimes. He was always listening to everything around him and knew far more than he should for only being seven.

“Hmm, sounds like maybe Uncle Lucas and Uncle Mike need to be less worried about my date and more worried about their own love lives. How are you going to give me advice when your own wives are complaining about you?”

“I listen!” Lucas argued, his hand coming to his chest in offense. “But sometimes she wants to talk to me when a basketball game is on and come on. You know what that’s like. Would you be listening if you were watching a game?”

“If the woman I loved had something to say, absolutely,” Steve stated. “Your wife should come above everything, my friend. And you are damn lucky to have Max. If you’re not listening to her, the next thing you know you’re going to be losing her.”

“I’m not losing her,” scoffed Lucas. “If anyone should be worried about losing their wife, it’s Mike. He’s got El working herself to the bone because he’s too much of a pussy to send his book out.”

“Whoa!” Steve yelled, covering his son’s ears with his hands. “Language, dude. Come on.”

“I am not a pussy!” Mike snapped, causing Steve to yell again as he pressed harder. Jeremiah swatted at his hands but he held them firm. “I am polishing it, okay? It’s not as simple as just sending it out. Do you know how many people try to get a book published every year? It has to stand out. It has to be great. It has to be perfect. I’m just…”

“Just what? You’ve been polishing that thing for over a year. Come on, Mike. We all know you’re scared of rejection.”

“I…what…no!”

Dustin sighed, “Guys, seriously? Come on. No one’s wife is leaving them. And Mike, you’re scared and you know it but rejection is part of the process. John Grisham had his first novel rejected thirty times before someone decided to give it a shot and look at him now. You have to shit or get off the pot at this point because El can’t keep supporting you both forever. At this rate you’re going to be fifty and still working on the same damn book. And Lucas, just mute the damn game and listen to your wife. It’s not that hard. And Steve, you’re going to be fine so stop turning this around on these guys because you don’t want to talk about you. Get your nerves under control, man, or you’re going to be a spaz on your date. Jesus Christ, bunch of children.”

“Who are you to talk? You don’t even have a girl so how are you giving us advice?” challenged Mike. “Suzie dumped you.”

“It was mutual!” Dustin seethed. “She couldn’t walk away from her family and her faith so it was impossible for us to be together. I wasn’t willing to move there and she wasn’t willing to move here and after all that time, long distance was too damn hard. We both decided it was for the best but when I had her, I listened and I was a damn good boyfriend so I have plenty of room to talk.”

“Daddy!” Jeremiah yelled, pulling at his hands.

“Oh, sorry bud.” He removed his hands, placing them on his shoulders. “Alright, everybody needs to just take a breath and calm down or I’m not leaving you with my kid. I can give Robin a call if all of you need to go home and take a time out from each other.”

“No…we’re fine,” Dustin told him. “Right?”

“Yeah, I guess,” shrugged Lucas.

Mike sighed, “We’re good.”

Steve released a long breath, shaking his head. He loved these guys but they still had a lot of growing up to do. They might be twenty-six but they were still figuring out life. Hell, he was still figuring out life and he was thirty-two. Dustin wasn’t entirely wrong. He had to get out of his own head or he’d be a mess tonight.

Nervous energy still radiated through his body. He was doing this. He was going to go for it. He was going to try opening up, allowing himself to be vulnerable in a way he hadn’t been since Nance. He wanted this to work and if it was going to work then he had to allow you in, to see all of it, the good and the bad. You might not think he had any flaws but he had plenty and you were bound to notice them if the two of you crossed this line. He only hoped you were willing to try in spite of them.

“Alright. I have to get going if I am going to be on time picking her up. Are you guys going to behave while I’m gone or do I need to ask Robin to come check up on you?”

“No, man. We’re fine,” snorted Mike. “Besides, she’s with El and Max. They were going out to dinner and then to a movie. If you call her then they’ll show up too and they’ll be annoyed as hell.”

“Yeah and then we’ll never hear the end of it,” Lucas told him. “Max already thinks I’m a giant child. I don’t need her having any more ammunition.”

“Good. Then you kids have fun playing your game and I will see you later, okay?”

“We’re hoping not,” Dustin grinned, wiggling his eyebrows as a purring sound rolled through his throat, causing the others to grimace. “We can always stay the night if the date goes really well.”

“Come on,” Steve groaned, wrinkling his nose. “One, don’t make that noise. How many times do we have to tell you that it's not cute like you think it is? Two, I am a gentleman and I respect her and I am not going to be doing that on the first date. And three, don’t even insinuate about my sex life, man. That’s gross.”

“What’s sex?”

Steve’s hand covered his face at the sound of his son’s voice. Shit.

“And you ear muffed him because of us?” Lucas teased with a smile.

“Shut it,” warned Steve, jabbing his finger into his chest. “It’s nothing for you to worry about Jere. It’s grown-up stuff.”

“Grown-up stuff? Is it like when you kiss with your tongue?”

“How do you know about that!?”

Jeremiah shrugged, “I saw it on tv. Aunt Robin was watching a movie and they were kissing and then their tongues were in each other’s mouth and it looked gross. Why would you want someone else’s spit in your mouth?” The little boy shuddered.

“Oh kiddo,” mused Lucas, an arm coming around his shoulders. “You have so much yet to learn.”

Steve’s eyes went wide, “Nothing he better learn any time soon and Aunt Robin and I need to have a conversation about what she has on the television when she’s watching you.” He glanced over at the clock. “Jesus. I need to go. Seriously…” He pointed at each guy in turn. “If I get home and Jere informs me of anything else he’s learned, your ass is grass, do you understand me?”

Dustin held his hands up, “He won’t learn anything from me.”

Mike shook his head, “Me either.”

“Don’t worry. I won’t teach him anything…until he’s a bit older,” Lucas said, lifting his eyebrows. “What’s an uncle for if not to guide him in the ways of women?”

“I think Max would argue that your guidance is unnecessary,” Steve snorted. “Seriously, just…behave!”

“Yes sir!” they all mocked, two fingers coming to their foreheads in a salute.

__________________________________________________________

“Absolutely not,” Janice declared, shaking her head as you held up a blue dress.

“Why? It’s a dress.”

“It’s a dress that screams I am a good, pious girl who goes to church every Sunday and does not believe in premarital sex.”

Your eyes rolled towards the heavens, “I don’t even go to church, Janice, and I was having sex long before Justin and I got married. I’m pretty sure that ship has sailed.”

“Exactly,” your friend stated, pulling a burgundy dress from your closet, presenting it in front of you. “So, let’s not give off the wrong vibe. This dress has a plunging neckline and a short hem. It screams kiss me, touch me, ravish me, and that is exactly the kind of vibe we want to give Mr. Perfect tonight.”

Hands on your hips, your head tilted, “So you want me to give the impression that I’m cheap and easy?”

“Cheap? Absolutely not. Easy? Abso-fucking-lutely.”

“It’s a first date!”

“Is it, though? I mean, you guys have already hung out quite a few times. Like four already or something. You are well beyond the third date rule at this point.”

“Those weren’t dates,” you argued. “We were just hanging out.”

“Together. You have already gotten to know each other a bit and you know you like him.”

“Yeah because his son and all his friends told me.”

“And thank god for them!” Janice exclaimed. “Who knows how long it would have taken you two to finally admit the burning sexual desire that’s been pulsing between your legs for weeks. I would say those are some damn good friends because now you two can finally stop dancing around each other and do the horizontal mambo already.”

“Jesus. Janice, I am not having sex with him on the first date.”

“Honey, that vagina hasn’t seen any action in over two years. I can practically hear her begging for some relief.” She bent forward, hand next to her ear. “Yup. Can you hear that? She’s telling you she needs this. If not for you, do it for her.”

“You’re insane,” you mumbled, shoving her head away.

“No, I’m not. Can you honestly stand there and tell me you haven’t thought about jumping in the sheets with that man?”

Your face reddened, your eyes dropping to your bare feet. No, you couldn’t say that, not honestly. Of course you'd thought about what he’d be like in bed. What woman wouldn’t? Of course you'd envisioned your hands gripping those strong arms, your fingers tangled in that luscious hair, those lips…those fucking perfect lips and what they could make you feel.

But that didn’t mean you were going to jump into bed with him after date one. What kind of signal did that send? You were hoping this would become something, something meaningful, something lasting. You didn’t want to be some one-night stand or some friend with benefits. You weren't even sure how the two of you would handle being on a date, completely alone, without the kids as a buffer.

“You have! You so have!”

“Obviously I have. I’m attracted to him so obviously I’ve thought about him like that but it doesn’t mean I have to act on it right now. It’s…look, it’s been a while. I’ve only been with Justin for the last decade of my life. I’m a bit out of practice and he is definitely not out of practice. It sounds like he’s dated quite a few of the women in this town.”

“Oh girl, there is no such thing as out of practice. From what you told me, you and Justin had an excellent sex life. Besides, men are really not that hard to please. You need to be more worried about your pleasure. If he’s been around the block, maybe he’s not that good.”

“Jesus Christ!” you smacked her in the arm.

Janice shrugged with a smirk, “I’m just saying. Maybe you’re not the one you should be worried about. But no worries. You can always train him.”

“He’s not a puppy.”

“You sure? The way you describe him kind of makes him sound like he is. Ugh. I cannot wait to finally set eyes on this man. I have been dying to see if he is as damn hot as you claim.”

“He is. I assure you. He is.”

“I will be the judge of that. Now come on, get that dress on so we can get your hair and make-up done. Your man’s going to be here in an hour.”

One hour. One hour before you headed out on your first date with Steve, your first, first date in over a decade. One hour before Steve decided whether he actually wanted you or just liked the idea of you. One hour to see if the course of your life was heading in an entirely new direction.

____________________________________________________________

“Mommy, you look beautiful,” Eli said, Matt whistling, as you descended down the steps after Janice finally deemed you ready for your date.

You flashed your teeth, sweeping your arms out as you did a little bow, “Why, thank you. You can actually thank your Aunt Janice for that. She basically dressed me and styled me like I was her doll.”

Janice huffed from behind you, “I had to. You should have seen what she was trying to wear out with this man. You would have thought she was heading off to teach Sunday School instead of locking down this deal.”

“What deal?” asked Eli.

Matt laughed, “Your aunt just means that she wanted to make sure your mom looked really pretty for Steve.”

“But Steve already thinks my Mommy is pretty even when she wears jeans. I don’t think he cares if she has all kinds of colors on her face.”

You smiled at your son, placing your hand on top of his head, “Thank you little man. That’s what I was trying to get your aunt to understand. The man saw me first thing in the morning. If that didn’t scare him away, I don’t think a more conservative dress would have.”

“I’m not saying you’d scare him away but you want to send the message that you’re open for business.”

“What kind of business? I thought you helped kids. Are you starting a business, mommy?”

Matt let out an uproarious laugh as Janice cringed, shrugging, you shooting daggers at both of them. It was amazing your son didn’t know all about the birds and the bees with the best friend you had. Janice would learn soon enough with her and Matt trying for a baby. Once she had a little one around maybe she’d be a bit more discreet but you doubted it. Her kid would be the one explaining human anatomy to all the other kids on the playground.

“Mommy is not starting a business,” you stated, hoping he’d let it drop there as you leaned over, your hands on his shoulders. “Now, you be good for Aunt Janice and Uncle Matt, okay? I probably won’t be home before your bedtime.”

“We can always stay over if things go really well,” sang Janice.

“Are you having a sleepover with Steve?” Eli asked with a wide grin. “Sleepovers are the most fun!”

“Sleepovers are the most fun!” shrieked Janice.

“No,” you stated, glaring at your best friend. “No. I am not. I will be here in the morning when you wake up.”

“Dream crusher,” muttered Janice.

“You know, you could just let her take this at her own pace,” her husband told her.

“If I let her take this at her own pace, it will never happen. His friends had to basically tell them to go on this date or these two would still be dancing around each other like middle schoolers with crushes. Punching each other in the arm and running away instead of announcing their feelings and getting on with it.”

“Mommy and Steve have never punched each other. That wouldn’t be very nice. Friends don’t hurt each other.”

“Oh kid, you have so much still to learn,” guffawed Matt, ruffling his hair. “Lucky for you, you’ve got me.” He winked, leaving your son looking even more confused just as three firm raps sounded at the door.

You straightened, spinning around. Janice beamed, bouncing up and down on her heels. Eli let out a clap and a squeal. Matt just laughed again, shaking his head at all of them.

“Is someone actually going to answer the door or are we going to leave the poor man standing on the porch?” he asked.

You swallowed hard, trying to get the lump of nerves that was currently lodged in your throat down. You wanted to tell all of them to go away but that was never going to happen. Janice had been dying to lay eyes on him from the moment you had told her about him. Your best friend was not going to be convinced to leave.

This was it. Moment of truth. You stepped forward, hand on the doorknob, inhaling deeply through your nose. You were doing this. Either it would go well and your life would become infinitely different but you had to believe also better or it wouldn’t and everything would stay the same. Same wasn’t so bad. Different would be amazing…better would be even more amazing, but the worst case scenario wasn’t so bad. If Steve didn’t want to pursue anything after tonight you would survive. Of course you would. You'd survived so much worse already. You could handle one small date, dinner, possibly drinks, maybe some dessert.

You swung open the door, the air from the outside rushing in just as the air in your body rushed out. Steve seemed to have that effect on you. It was hard not to when he always looked so damn handsome but god, he looked even better tonight. Yellow was his color, bringing out the green and gold in those heavenly eyes. He flashed you a smile and your knees wobbled as he produced a bouquet of bright pink peonies from behind his back.

“Wow,” he breathed, his eyes running from the top of your head to the tip of your toes and back again. “You look…incredible.”

“You too,” you managed, taking the flowers as he held them out to you. “Thank you. These are beautiful. You didn’t have to do that.”

“Of course I did. First date, right? It’s kind of a requirement and, you know, I have to make a good impression.”

Eli pointed at him and winked with a big smile and Steve returned the gesture.

“Oh, you’ve got that locked down,” came Janice’s voice from behind you as she stepped forward, looking over Steve appreciatively. “Damn. She told me you were gorgeous enough to be on television. I thought she was exaggerating but she definitely wasn’t. Look at that hair. Jesus, what products do you use to get it to do that?”

Your stomach rolled with embarrassment, a flash of heat creeping up your neck and across your cheeks. Janice was extremely candid and blunt without ever feeling an ounce of shame. But the words that came out of her mouth often caused you to feel just that.

“Uh…thanks. It’s Herbal Essences. I use the Flexible Airspray to get it exactly where I want it,” he stammered.

“Well, it works. Have you seen how thick it is? Jesus, you just want to run your fingers through it, don’t you?” Janice murmured, rising on her tiptoes, her eyes glued to his hair. “And those eyes and wow, look at that chest hair. Damn girl. You done good.”

“Excuse my wife,” Matt sighed, stepping in, placing his arm around her waist as he gently eased her back and away from Steve. You shot him a look of gratitude and he winked. “She just says whatever she’s thinking.”

“Oh, I have a friend who does the same thing,” chuckled Steve with a wave of his hand. “No big deal. I’m used to it. You must be Janice and Matt. She's told me a lot about you.”

“She’s told me a lot about you too,” Janice smirked. “And you sound like a pretty great guy. You better be exactly how you sound. You take care of my girl because if you hurt her…”

“Steve won’t hurt my mommy. He took good care of her when she fell down,” Eli interrupted angrily.

“Oh my god,” you groaned. “And on that note, how about we get going before they humiliate me more or Janice has a chance to threaten you any further?”

“Sounds good,” agreed Steve with a nod. “Have fun tonight, little man.”

“Have fun!” Eli yelled, waving.

You closed the door behind you with a relieved sigh, offering Steve a smile as he offered you his hand, leading you toward his car. You loved your friend but Steve would never want to see you again if he was threatened with the pain of death if anything went wrong.

“I am so sorry about all of that,” you muttered as he opened your door for you and you slid inside.

“No worries,” he assured with a laugh, sliding into the driver's seat. “Are you forgetting how embarrassing my friends are? She’s just looking out for you like they were for me. I get it. Although she was oddly obsessed with my hair.”

“Who isn’t obsessed with your hair?” you teased as he pulled away from the house. This was it. It was happening. You were about to have your first date in over a decade that wasn't Justin. Glancing out the window, you willed your body to relax. This was going to be fine. You could do this.

___________________________________________________________

Steve opened the door to Sage and Salt, his hand finding its way to your lower back as he guided you into the restaurant. The place was a tiny oasis of elegance and charm in the otherwise small-town feel of Hawkins, providing a little taste of what luxury felt like, which was precisely what the owner had been going for. The decor was a mixture of old-world charm and modern sophistication. Lighting made softer as it shone through stained glass fixtures created a romantic atmosphere.

Prior to its opening, the only restaurant that would be considered nice was Enzo’s, a popular Italian place just down the block. After seven first dates there, Steve couldn’t have choked down another breadstick if he’d wanted to. The whole town had rejoiced when a new dining option had opened.

“Steve!”

His head turned, giving the caller of his name a wide, warm smile as she swooped in, wrapping him in a hug, the only motherly hug he’d ever truly experienced in his life. The tiny woman held on tightly before turning to you, her smile getting even wider.

“And who is this vision of loveliness?”

“Joyce, this is Y/N,” he introduced, his arm coming around his date, hand lightly wrapping around your bicep. “And this is Joyce. She’s basically Hawkins mama.”

“Really? The whole town’s mama?” you asked with a breezy chuckle, the sound filling Steve’s head like a song he just wanted to listen to over and over again. “That’s quite a responsibility.”

Joyce rolled her eyes, “Well, you know, when your son brings home half the town, what are you going to do? It started with the boys. Mike, Dustin, and Lucas and all their DnD stuff. Then came the girls, Max and El. Lucas’s little sister Erica was deemed cool enough to join at one point. And then this one started dating Mike’s sister and became Dustin’s honorary big brother so he and Robin joined the crew. I swear my house was constantly filled to the brim. They barely fit inside that little place. And of course now, with my son married to Nancy and step-dad to Steve’s little boy…” She shrugged. “We’re all just family now.”

You looked over at Steve, wide-eyed. He had not warned you or prepared you for this. Sure, from the outside looking in, he could see how strange it would be that he was so close to his ex-wife’s new husband’s mom but he’d been close to Joyce for years. That wasn’t going to change. He’d had two choices when everything went to shit and then Nancy and Jonathan had grown closer. He could accept it and make the best of it or he could be bitter and make things difficult for everyone. The choice seemed pretty obvious to him.

“Wow, that’s…incredible. And do you own this place?” you inquired.

“Me? No. I just help out around here doing whatever needs doing. My son, Will, is the one who owns it. He opened it a few years ago. Have you met him?”

“No. I haven’t. Not yet.”

“He’s here tonight. He’s in the back right now working on the schedule but ’ll send him out to say hi. His husband, Nolan, is our chef,” Joyce beamed. “That’s how they met. It’s a cute story but I’ll let him tell it. Now, why don’t you two take that table over there in the back?” She winked at you. “We save that table just for our special guests and I’ll have Will head on out to take your order in a bit.” She elbowed Steve gently, mouthing, “She’s gorgeous!”

She didn’t have to tell him that. He was surprised to find he was still standing, feeling as if the rug had been pulled out from under him, when the front door opened. That red dress hugged you in all the right places and the color was spectacular on you. You were always beautiful but you were absolutely stunning tonight.

The table Joyce had directed you to was a small rounded booth set in the back of the restaurant, a little space where the two of you couldn’t be seen by the other diners thanks to a small wooden wall that raised up behind it. Joyce knew how chatty the residents of Hawkins could be and he sent her a silent thank you for allowing you privacy. The minute anyone caught sight of you both, they would be the talk of the town. And that, he didn’t mind. But he didn’t want people feeling the need to approach your table, interrupting your dinner to gush over how cute you two were. And having been raised here, that is exactly what some of these residents would do.

“So,” you began as he slid in next to you, “you failed to mention that your ex-wife married your friend.”

“Well, it hadn’t really come up,” Steve shrugged. “I don’t know if anyone would have qualified Jonathan and I as friends. I mean, definitely not in high school. He was the weird, loner kid. He did photography for the school paper. That was how he and Nance knew each other. But I guess we became friends the more I hung out with the little twerps. We all just kind of got thrown together and then, yeah, we all hung out. I needed people my own age sometimes. Anyway, when Nance and I split, he was just around for her, you know? Just as a friend at first but then they started feeling more and they were really honest with me about it.”

“And you weren’t upset?”

Steve’s fingers drummed over the table, “Actually, no. You’d think I would be. I suppose I had a right to be. Of all the people she could find, she chose someone who was already so intricately woven into our lives. But I wasn’t. If anything, I guess I thought it was better that way. Jere already knew him. Jonathan’s been a part of everything. I think it made it easier for him to just slide right in. And he’s never expected Jere to call him dad. He’s just Jonathan to him and that’s alright with everyone. But he loves my kid and he’s damn good to him. I mean, what more could I possibly ask for?”

“You have got to be the most mature man to ever exist,” you commented, tucking a strand of hair, the exact same strand he’d been longing to push back, behind your ear.

“I don’t know about that but it works for us, you know? We’re a family. Nance and I are connected forever because we have a kid. We might have failed at the marriage part but we created one perfect boy. I love that kid more than anything so why wouldn’t I want the best for him? And what’s best for him is everyone he loves working together in his best interests. Trust me, it’s so nice to have a third person to help.”

“I’ll have to trust you on that one. I don’t even have a second person…”

Your voice trailed off softly and before he could consider what he was doing, Steve’s hand was on your cheek, his thumb brushing over your cheekbone. Your skin was so soft. It was like running his fingers across silk. He couldn’t imagine what it was like, raising a kid alone. He knew you had your friend but to not have a true partner, someone who was just as invested in this kid you’d created as you were…it had to be so damn hard.

Everything that happened with him was on you. Every emotion you had to bear on your own. Every triumph Eli experienced you celebrated alone. Every injury or illness, you worried alone. Every heartbreak he would experience you would have to heal on your own. But maybe not. Maybe not if this thing went the way he hoped.

“You do now,” he assured you, swallowing down his desire to press his lips against yours, the way he’d been wanting to since that first moment he’d turned around and your mouth had formed that perfect little o, that small gasp that fell from those lips creating a need in him to swallow it down.

“That’s really sweet of you but we don’t even know how this is…”

Steve cut you off, “I told you. It doesn’t matter how this goes. I mean, it does. I want it to go well but even if it doesn’t, I am not going anywhere. Jere loves Eli so regardless of what happens with us, the two of us are going to stay a part of your lives.”

“Steve,” you began but you were interrupted when a young guy approached your table.

“Hey. Mom said you were here and told me I needed to come over and say hello,” he said with a shy smile, offering his hand out to you. “I’m Will.”

“Y/N,” you grinned, taking his hand. “It’s so good to meet you.”

“You too. I’ve already heard all about you from everyone else.”

“Oh, great. That’s just great. Including my embarrassing fall complete with passing out, I assume?”

He laughed, “Yeah. But if it makes it any better, they did tell me they were mostly at fault for that. Sticking their nose where it doesn’t belong is kind of their speciality.”

“So I’ve noticed.” And there was that laugh again. “This is your restaurant? I’m sorry to say that I’ve never been here before. I guess I didn’t really have a reason to…” That sadness passed over your face again and without thinking, Steve’s hand covered yours, wishing he could take it from you, absorb it into his own skin so you never had to look like that again. You shook your head, smile firmly back in place. “Anyway, it’s amazing in here. I love the feel of the place.”

“Thanks. If you love the feel, just wait until you taste the food. Nolan is an artist when it comes to cooking.”

“And speaking of artists, our Will here is an artist. All the artwork on the walls is his,” Steve told you, gesturing around them to the eclectic variety of paintings that adorned the space.

Your jaw dropped, eyes widening, taking in the various canvases around the space. Steve warmed at the way Will’s cheeks pinkened, his mouth curving up slightly. He might struggle with taking compliments but it didn’t mean he didn’t deserve all of them. Will was an amazing artist. It wasn’t something that was bringing in big income but Steve loved that he never gave it up. The kid needed the outlet. He always had.

“You painted these? Are you kidding me? These are amazing.”

Will shrugged, “Thanks. It’s just…I don’t know, a hobby I guess.”

“Oh, don’t be modest. You’ve sold quite a few paintings over the years,” Steve reminded him.

“I guess. June bought a few for the coffee shop. I have one hanging in Enzo’s. And I actually was featured in an art show in Indianapolis last year and sold six of them. But it’s just a side thing. The restaurant is my real job.”

“Sounds to me like you have two jobs,” you replied. “Both you get to be your own boss and having this still allows you to do what you love. You’re living the dream!”

“I guess,” he grinned. “I never looked at it like that, but yeah. I am pretty much living my dream.” Will cleared his throat, winking at Steve. “Anyway, I don’t want to interrupt your meal any further. I will make sure Nolan whips up something amazing for you both, on the house. You two enjoy your dinner.”

“Thanks. And you two better make it over soon. I haven’t seen your faces in far too long, kid.”

“We will. We will,” he sighed with a roll of his eyes. “It was really nice meeting you. Enjoy guys.”

“Thanks Will,” you smiled. “It was so nice to meet you.” Resting your chin on top of your fist, you turned those beautiful eyes on Steve. “Are you just friends with all the nicest people?”

“In Hawkins? Possibly.”

“It explains so much.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Steve inquired with a chuckle, pausing to thank the waiter when he deposited a bottle of wine, compliments of the owner. The man poured you both a small glass, waiting for your approval before moving along.

“Well, you can tell a lot about a person based on the people he has around him. You have to be one of the kindest, most generous, and patient people I have ever met. The more I see of your world around you, the more it makes sense.”

“You’ve met Robin, right?” he scoffed, lifting his glass to his lips. “I have to have the patience of a saint to be best friends with her.”

“But you don’t. You don’t have to be friends with her. You didn’t have to step in as honorary big brother to Dustin. You certainly didn’t need to then become honorary big brother to a bunch of other kids. You didn’t have to be kind to Nancy and stay friends when you split. You didn’t have to maintain friendships with all of these people who are intricately tied to what was possibly the biggest heartbreak of your life. But you did and you do because they’re worth it. You saw in them what you wanted for yourself. Steve Harrington, you have created a family around you, something it sounds like you were missing growing up. You’ve surrounded your son with a warm family and so much support and love, the kind you didn’t have growing up.” You tilted your head, analyzing him in a way that made him nervous. “You’re kind of amazing.”

“Amazing enough for a second date?”

“Well, we’ll have to see how the rest of dinner goes but I have to say, I really like your chances so far,” you teased, eyes twinkling under the low light.

____________________________________________________________

Your entire body hummed pleasantly as Steve drove toward your house. For all of your concern, your date could not have gone more perfectly. The conversation flowed easily, the food had been excellent, and Steve had continually found little moments to touch you in some fashion. His hand on yours, his fingers brushing over your arm, his palm coming to rest on your knee. Even now, his fingers were locked with yours, your hands resting on your thigh. It felt so easy, so natural and it shouldn’t, should it?

The gentle spring breeze blew through your hair, Jewel’s voice radiating from the speakers, and your stomach clenched. Because it really shouldn’t be this easy. It shouldn’t feel this simple with a man you'd only known for a couple of weeks. It shouldn’t feel this natural to just move on after losing the love of your life. You feared it was too easy. You feared it would inevitably all come crashing down around you because something had to go wrong, surely. The universe couldn’t possibly make it this effortless, couldn’t allow you to experience this kind of happiness twice when some people never got it once.

“So,” Steve mused, breaking through your thoughts of doom and gloom, “what do you think?”

“About what?”

He smirked, pulling into your driveway, turning off the car. His torso turned toward you, one hand resting on the steering wheel, the other still tightly wrapped around yours. God, he was so damn beautiful. He was the kind of beautiful that left a deep ache inside of you.

“Did the night go well enough for a second date?”

“Oh!” Your lips pressed together, looking down at your hands, the way his completely consumed yours, your fingers all but disappearing in his grasp. “Yeah. This night went…I mean, it was perfect.”

“Perfect? I don’t know about that.”

“No. It was.”

“Nah, it can’t be perfect yet. There’s a very pivotal detail that’s missing.”

“What’s what?” you chuckled.

“A goodnight kiss,” he answered, those hazel eyes blazing, gold and green burning you straight to your core. “I’ve been wanting to kiss you from the moment I saw you on the baseball field.”

There went all your oxygen again but this time it wasn’t from an anxiety attack. It was from a deep wanting, a desire that had been rumbling within you, frothing beneath the surface from the moment he’d turned and laid that smile on you.

“Can I kiss you, honey?”

There he went with that honey again. It oozed through you, just like the sticky sweet concoction, pooling in all the right places. Your heart slammed against your ribcage as you nodded, wondering if this moment could possibly live up to the expectation you'd created in your mind of what his lips against yours would feel like.

Steve’s fingers slid through your hair, tenderly gripping the back of your neck. Your breath caught as he leaned forward, pausing for just a beat, his breath brushing across your cheek. His nose nuzzled yours, his lips finding yours, soft and sweet, barely grazing before applying more pressure, molding to your own.

It was a free fall into a sweet abyss of nothingness. It was every scar, wound, ache slowly knitting itself together. It was healing your heart and your soul. It was magic dancing across your skin, igniting you from within. It was both embarking on the greatest adventure and coming home to the comfort of what was safe. It was so much better than your brain could have conjured. It was terrifying and exciting and soothing all at the same time because you already knew you wanted to do it again and again. There was no way you would ever get enough of this.

“Damn…” Steve gasped as you pulled apart, his smile stretching his face, looking as blown away as you felt. “That was…”

“Amazing,” you finished, unsure what to do with this information that was blowing your mind. How could your first kiss be so damn good? Shouldn’t it have at least been awkward?

“I…want…I want to do that again,” he stammered.

Then his hands were cupping your face and his lips were devouring yours. With just a kiss, you felt like you were coming undone, heat gathering in your center until you thought you would spontaneously combust right there, in the passenger seat of his car.

You leaned into him, fighting back the urge to climb over the console and into his lap. His tongue slid over the seam of your lips and you opened for him, welcoming the spicy tang of red wine and cardamom that invaded your senses. He was everywhere at once, completely consuming you and still, you couldn’t get enough.

Snapping back to reality, you placed a hand on his chest, pushing yourself back a bit. No. You were not going to cross that line on the first date. Damn, you wanted to. You really wanted to as you took in the sight of his swollen lips, eyelids heavy with the same desire you felt. It took everything in you not to tell him to drive you somewhere private.

“I should…Jesus…I should really get inside…” you muttered.

“Yeah. Yeah. Let me, uh…I’ll walk you to…”

“No. That’s okay,” you protested, needing to put distance between the two of you before you did something you could never take back. It was one thing to go on a date, even share a few kisses, and decide things weren’t working out. It was something entirely different to cross that line, to share your body and soul, to be as intimate as you could be, and manage to be logical about it. “I…I’ll see you Thursday, right?”

“Thursday?” he questioned, flustered.

“Baking?”

“Oh yeah. Baking. Yeah. I’ll be there.” As you moved to get out of the car, his hand grasped your arm and you swallowed hard, fighting back the surging desire that roared within you once again at his touch. “Hey. We okay?��

“We’re good,” you assured him, offering a smile. And you were but you would not be if you did not get the hell out of this car. “Really. This night has been…well, it’s been perfect now.”

“Yeah,” he nodded, teeth scraping over his kiss bitten lip. Why did he have to be so damn sexy? “It was perfect. I can’t wait for Thursday to have more alone time with you.”

Your stomach rolled. He was coming to your house while the kids were at school. Your house where there was a couch, a bed, a table…a variety of spaces where…no, you were not going to let that happen. Not yet. It was a horrible idea. Way too soon, right?

“Me neither.”

You darted from the car, turning back to wave as you reached the porch. You dug in your purse for your keys but before you could find them the door swung open, Janice waiting on the other side looking like the cat that caught the canary.

“God damn,” she squealed, wiggling her fingers in Steve’s direction as he backed out of the driveway. “I mean, seriously…goddamn. That was…”

Your mouth dropped open, “Were you spying?”

“Of course I was spying! That was hot as hell! You have been well and truly kissed my friend.”

“Jesus Janice! Creeper much?”

“Oh come on! I had to watch. And that was…god, was it as good as it looked?”

“It was better,” you smiled, jumping when your friend shrieked.

“Now we just need to get you well and truly fucked which shouldn’t be hard based on what I just saw.”

Chapter 10

Taglist: @katethetank@roxiehorrorshow@sapphire4082@bakugouswh0r3@frostandflamesfanfic @mix-matchsocks @mushy-mushroom04 @palmtreesx3 @littlebookworm86 @eddies-trailer-babe @cheesewritings @emilyj444 @daisyhollyxox @angelbabyivy @the-fairy-anon

Thanks so much for taking the time to read my little story! Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist. 😊 And replies and reblogs are always appreciated if you enjoy it. ❤️❤️❤️

108 notes · View notes

am-i-the-asshole-official · 3 months

Note

AITA for not telling someone I wasn't their bully 100% of the time

Hey so I was a shitty kid and i willbe TA for most of the story. However the ambiguous non-ending spins around my head nonstop

! In high-school I met a friend, Lacy (mtf) who had recently come out. We bonded over mutual Fandoms and shared classes and ended up pooling friends. I was already tight friends with one other girl we can call Sam. Sam went to another school but me and her had been best friends for many years and talked constantly online. After spending a lot of time with Lacy, and with L and S in a group, I started to get a little crush. Me and Lacy had this habit of passing comic notes to eachother between classes and they were just so fun. Anyways I ended up passing them one asking them out and she agreed. We talked about it casually after and I kept the note. In the background, me and Sam talk constantly about Lacy. Outside of school, online, Lacy often goes on long rants and tangents and caps it off being painfully self depreciating and insinuating self harm. I honestly don't hold that against her too much, given how young we were and how much stuff was going on. Very quickly I realize this tiny crush evaporates in the heat of her stomping rants. My gut sinks when Lacy mentions we are dating. It's been less than a day. Sam messages me immediately and I make the terrible snap decision to lie. I lie about it and I have the evidence so my version becomes correct. I tell Sam I didn't *really* ask Lacy out, blah blah. The lie doesn't end. Lacy has an explosive breakdown about it, well warranted, and I lie to adults and school administrators as well. We were friends, I guess she got too attached, we talk all the time but no. I never asked her to date. Papers signed, case closed. Lacy blocks me everywhere. The year ends. I resign to never speaking to her, as the unquestioned bully in this situation I wouldn't have the right to approach her about it. I think I send one anon ask completely unrelated to her or our lives, then block her back as is only fair.

Short hop forwards a month or two. Sam sends me a message about an update to Lacys blog. Lacy is otherkin and Sam is laughing at the kin list, sending anon messages mocking Lacy about the choices and identity. Very unfamiliar with otherkin but struggling with gender thoughts myself I don't respond much.

Fast forward a few years. Me and Sam don't talk much now. I got a boyfriend and couldn't help love how much he ignored me. Everything else fell through cracks. Working at my restaurant job one day, who else comes in but Lacy. We are very busy, I try to be quick, don't make eye contact. "Party of....for Lacy?" She nods. The lobby is full so they walk out the door and never come back. Later when my shift is over I unblock and check her blog. She's made a post saying I was her abuser and had sent her constant anon hate since bullying her in hs. Checking her ask tag I see Sam on anon sends 3-6 hate messages a year. I do nothing and leave everyone be and move on.

Another 3 years goes by. Sam reaches out. She's terminally ill, and we speak stiffly for a few IMs. I don't forgive myself for leaving her and decide it's best we don't keep talking. Another few years and Sam passes. Our old friends go through Sam's papers and pc files reminiscing and find pages and pages of shared chat logs between me L and S. It really was a harsh reminder of how cruel I had been, speaking behind Lacys back and lying. I don't doubt I caused her lasting trauma with my actions.

Part of me wanted to reach out to Lacy and apologize, explaining myself and the misunderstanding and clearing the lie not because I wanted to feel absolved I just that it's finally done now. But it feels so cruel to do it when 1. As the original bully it's still not my place to seek closure 2. I can't just toss my friends corpse under this bus for no reason.

It's soon a decade since we all left school so the time seems well past. I just can't stop thinking about all the mistakes. And there seems no reason to bring it all up after all Sam can't say anything about it anymore and nobody is hurt believing i said these things. So, AITA for not telling Lacy it wasn't me bullying her most of the time?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

72 notes · View notes

kawia-renka · 2 years

Note

Hi, so for a request I was thinking of headcanons for Rantaro, Shuichi, Kokichi, Kiibo, and Kaede slowly developing a crush for the reader.

Sorry if it's a big amount of characters but please take your time, no need to pressure yourself. Again, sorry for the large amount of characters ^^", and have a nice night/day!

Shuichi, Kaede, Kiibo, Rantaro And Kokichi Slowly Developing A Crush On The Reader

❝ Oh the v3 cast. I could talk about them all day (and I kinda do) uhhm anyway- I really love this request, thank you so much for requesting, dear 💗 I hope you have a wonderful day <3 ❞

Just saying, but... I wouldn't mind if someone requested the rest of the cast

Warning: request written by a person who had to search up what having a crush feels like 💀

• For a detective... An ultimate detective, it takes him an embarrassingly long amount of time to notice. It would've been a lot easier if someone had spelt it out for him, but, alas...

• Your normal hangouts become much more worrisome for him. And he doesn't even know why he's so worried.

• After finally coming to the conclusion that he does have a crush on you, he calms down. A little.

• Then when he think of you two possible dating, the panic rises again.

• Not only does he struggle with believing in his detective skills, he also doesn't believe you'll like him back. You're friends, sure, but that doesn't mean you'll like him in that way. There's a difference between platonic and romantic feelings, and his definitely aren't only platonic.

• The reason why he's worried is because what if he does something wrong? What if he does something that'll make you not want to ever talk to him again? What if, by confessing his feelings, he'll ruin your friendship? But, then again, if he doesn't confess his feelings, you may eventually feel uncomfortable at the fact he's hidden his crush for so long...

• I don't know how to explain this, but before you two were good friends, he'd get flustered at any sort of touch /like hugs or holding hands. Once you got closer, Shuichi didn't worry about it as much, but when he realized he has a crush on you... Here we go again

• Out of everyone here, she's the quickest to understand her feelings. <doesn't mean it's fast]

• It was just another one of your casual hangouts. Just two friends chilling. Sometimes you would get closer to Kaede.. Your fingers would brush against hers..

• Kaede couldn't keep herself from smiling like a (lovestruck) idiot. And when you thought of the idea to brush her hair-

• Your fingers gently running through her blonde hair, playing with it. She was on cloud nine, ready to pass out.

• It's not like she's a nervous person. Of course, everyone gets embarrassed or anxious about a social situation every once in a while. While she wasn't a super confident person either, there was a distinct difference in how she interacted with certain people. Which is why it was so strange, that when talking to you, someone so close to her, Kaede couldn't form a proper sentence.

• It only took a few more instances of her blushing while around you, to make her realize- oh! Oooooh...

• Now, with Kaede fully aware of her not-so-platonic feelings towards you, she became more anxious than ever.

• On one hand, she enjoyed the warm and fuzzy feeling she got from you. All the butterflies in her stomach, thanks to you, while scary were also exciting.

• But, on on the other hand, she valued your friendship. She didn't want to ruin it.

• Probably the most confused out of all of them. 'Cuz you know... He is a robot-

• It all started one day, during yours and Kiibo's hangout. Normally, Kiibo's would be very happy to spend time with you, but this time he felt different. To be fair, he's been feeling that way for the past few weeks (if not months). But this time it was stronger than ever.

• Kiibo wasn't sure what person he shouldn go to. This seemed like a mechanical error (?), so Professor Idabashi it was then! Not only was he the creator of Kiibo he was also like his father figure of sorts. Surely, he would understand this situation!

• Kiibo walked out of the lab, as confused as he was when entering it. He thought of what the professor had said: butterflies in someone's stomach. He had come across that phrase several times, but never truly understood its meaning. It was like encountering an unknown word and guessing its meaning based on the context.

• While searching up the definition of it, Kiibo came across other symptoms (similar to his).

Stumbling over his words - check. Smiling at the sight or thought of you - check. Heart beating fastly- uhm, heart beeping fastly? - ...check

• Cool, and those are the symptoms of having a crush, coo- ⁉️

• Kiibo was excited. I mean, very excited. Also a bit nervous, but that's besides the point. Having a crush is just, so, exciting??

• Don't get me wrong, the boy is nervous x2, but the fact he could have a crush and on you. You're his closest friend, you don't care that he's a robot you simply like Kiibo for him. And the way you smile....

• Oh gosh, the butterflies are coming back..

• Rantaro seems like the most chill person to have a crush. I mean, he's just- chill. Or, cool. Surely, having a crush isn't anything that would make him panic?

• Ahaha, you'd think so wouldn't you?

• Man is panicking. On the inside. Outside he seem calm and collected, but he's really not.

• People often think he looks like a playboy and therefore assume he is one. Rantaro may have gotten used to it by now, but it doesn't change the fact it's an unpleasant assumption. You however, knew Rantaro. You knew how caring he was. He felt comfortable around you and there was a clear difference in how he acted towards you.

• Having a crush makes him awkward around you. Previously casual activities like hugging make him blush if not flat out decline them. He apologizes for it, if it makes you upset, but explains he's just not in the mood today.

• While spending time together, you may find him staring at you, for just a little too long. When he notices you staring at him, he chuckles nervously and apologizes.

• Rantaro doesn't need any super romantic gestures, all he needs is a person who he can travel with.

• It takes him a long time to develop a crush and an even longer time to acknowledge it, and the fact it won't go away very soon. So to say he develops a crush slowly is an understatement.

• Don't be surprised if it takes him months to finally notice this. How he always seems to be in a better mood when you're around, or how he enjoys teasing you and seeing that cute grumpy face you make. It's little things like those, that keep him awake at night. It's 3am and all he can think about is you. That's when he finally starts realizing his feelings.

• But despite this, Kokichi will hide it for as long as possible. He smiles because you're happy? Nah, it's cuz Miu just tripped. He gave you a gift? It's just some random thing he found laying around in his room. Which is kinda true, it was hidden there for weeks. One noticeable difference, however, is the fact he bought it specifically for you.

• And when he's fully aware of his feelings, Kokichi starts ignoring you for some time. Hoping, that his crush will go away and you could just go back to being friends.

• And when it doesn't go away, because obviously it doesn't, he slowly starts seeing you again. You know what? The weird mix of nervousness and excitement he gets near is you, is actually pretty nice. He could get used to it.

2K notes · View notes

tired-teacher-blog · 4 months

Text

Characters : Tattoo artist Aizawa/ Florist fem reader

Featuring : Eri/ Hizashi Yamada/ Nemuri Kayama/ Oboro Shirakumo/ Emi Fukukado

Warnings and Genre : Fluff/ Romance/ Smut and Angst in future chapters/ Multi Chaptered Story

Summary : In a desperate attempt to get closer to the tattoo artist dominating every speck of your brain, you decide to pay him a visit one evening as a client seeking his service. This encounter will prove to be the beginning of something much bigger between you two, but will this new found passion be enough to stand against the difficulties your future holds?

Notes : Loosely inspired by this/ Art below is by the wonderful @/ael-draw who gifted me this gorgeous piece.

Masterlist|Second Masterlist|Third Masterlist

Chapter Count : Part 1 • Part 2 • Part 3 • Part 4 • Part 5 • Part 6 • Part 7 • Part 8 • Part 9 • Part 10 • Part 11

Mature content ahead so please be warned : 18+

How long has it been precisely? Can you truly tell?

Two months one week and six days..

Of course you can, how can you not? Those days have been your dearest and most treasured after all, and even now, you still cannot truly believe that he has welcomed you into his life and Eri's.

Your feelings for the both are growing each minute that passes, and you can no longer picture your life without either one of them.

You beam cheerfully as you look at your tattoo again, it's fully healed and looks stunning, you love it, even more so because he was the one inking it.

"Hello beautiful, I'm taking Eri over to Kayama's house now, she's excited but says she misses you. I'll see you in a bit."

Your smile widens as you read his message again, it's Saturday and you have agreed to spend the night at his place, and it is to be the first time ever that you do so.

You weren't exactly sure what it meant when he suggested it— and you still aren't, does he perhaps have something special in mind? He even insisted on sending Eri to Ms Kayama's house so you can be alone for the night.

You have never spoken about being intimate before, sure, you have kissed, held hands, hugged, cuddled, and that's about it, but something feels different this time.

Secretly, you wish your expectations are correct, you are ready to move forward in your relationship but never really had the courage to initiate anything beyond the usual, so maybe tonight.. who knows..

_ "Hi." he greets you with a grin as soon as you open the door, and you immediately jump in his arms with a cheerful squeal.

You miss him a lot, and even though you see him every evening when he comes to work, it's still not enough because you don't get to hold and kiss him like you wish you could.

_ "Hi." you sneak your arms around his neck and drag him closer for a kiss, your fingers are threading into his hair while his are resting on your hips.

His kisses are always soft and slow, melting you away and fogging up your brain, they are sweet and addictive, just like he is.

_ "So, ready to go?" his whispered words are ghosting over your neck while he nuzzles you there, and you breathe out a "yes" as a shiver runs through your whole body..

You have had dates in his house and yours before, and they've always been casual and fun, sometimes even Eri joins you when you and her insist on it, but tonight is not going to be like any other -you're sure of it- because not only are you going to be home alone with him, but you're also going to spend the night.

Your excitement and anticipation are surprisingly overpowering your nerves, you have a lot of expectations for what to come but what if you're just reading too much into it?

_ "I tried following the recipe to the letter so I hope it came out well," he chuckles nervously while pulling out a chair for you on the dinner table before joining you on the other side of it, "you should've seen Eri trying her hardest to help out, she wanted it to be tasty for you."

_ "She's so sweet," your heart swells up with joy while picturing them together in the kitchen, "it looks appetizing so I'm sure it tastes delicious."

You spend dinner time catching up on each other's news since you haven't been on a date for almost a week, messages and video calls don't count at all because they do nothing to quench your longing for him.

He's as gentle as ever, his voice, his gaze, his smile, his hand cradling yours from across the table, and just everything about this man.

However, you still wish for more of him but the longer time that passes, the further you feel from achieving that, so maybe he truly just invited you over to spend the night and that's that..

_ "Wanna watch a movie or something? I have a few options." he browses through the selection and hums while his eyes study the titles, but all you can focus on is his slender form in a simple white tank top and grey sweatpants, bringing to light the ink covering his buff arms and chest that you cannot repress the urge to run your fingers along them, and so you do.

He flinches at the sudden contact and you instantly retrieve your hand in shame, what were you thinking?

_ "I'm sorry I was just, admiring your tattoos." you try lightening the mood with a shy giggle, but his face remains stoic and your heart drops to your stomach with regret.

How long is he going to stare at you without saying a word?

_ "Aizawa, what's.." but your words are cut short as he pulls you flush against his chest, crashing your lips together without a warning and sneaking his hands under your shirt to squeeze your flesh between his fingers.

_ "It's Shouta." he sounds huskier than usual as he comments between hungry kisses, and you moan a response because that's the only thing you're capable of voicing.

Shouta.. as much as you wished to, you have never called him that before -not aloud anyway- because in your dreams, in your head, in your private time with yourself, he's always been just Shouta to you, and now he's asking you straightforwardly to use the name.

You want to say it out loud, to scream it, to whimper it, but his mouth is devouring yours still.

His body heat is flowing to yours and your eager hands are roaming his protruding pecs, digging your nails into his skin because you need the reassurance that what's happening right now is real.

_ "Shou.." you struggle against his lips and it's like a switch has been turned on in his brain, the growl he lets out afterwards weakens your legs, but he's there to pick you up in his arms and stumble to his bedroom hurriedly.

You have never been to his chamber before, never thought the day would come when you'll actually be, but your once unreachable wish is now a reality as he sinks you both on his plush mattress.

_ "Is this okay?" he whispers breathlessly against your abused lips, hovering over you while his eyes search your face for a permission to carry on.

_ "Yes, it's fine." your hands are on his chest, feeling his heartbeat quickening under your touch, but you still want more.

You're longing for his bare skin against yours, for his lips all over your body, for his fingers reaching your deepest depths, "Shouta, are we..?" you're still unused to using his name casually, but the thrill coming with it is euphoric.

_ "Only if you're comfortable with it." and he truly wishes you are, his lust for you is too obvious to miss.

You say nothing after that, but your hands answer him instead as they slowly start unbuttoning your cute lace blouse while your eyes are fixed on his eager expression.

It's a little flustering to be exposed to him, what would he think of you? Do you look pretty enough for him? What if he doesn't like what he sees? What if..

_ "You're beautiful." and his response to your unvoiced questions comes to pull you back to reality.

You smile sheepishly and welcome him back in your arms, tracing his neck and shoulders as he peppers kisses on your lips, cheeks, jawline, neck, until you start giggling uncontrollably.

He leans back to gaze at you, a gleam in his eyes as he rids you of the blouse still clinging to your body, grazing your sides and belly and licking his lips seductively before diving in to kiss you there.

_ "Sho.. Shouta." you arch off the bed seeking more of the mouth doing wonders to you, closing your eyes and biting down on your lip as his stubble scrapes against your skin.

_ "Yes, I'm right here." his voice is low and tantalizing, messing with your head and sending waves of warmth deep to your guts.

Your fingers move along his slender neck until they reach his hair, tugging it gently everytime he decides to nibble on your flesh. He's tormenting you, and your patience is running low already.

His lips travel upward, covering the expanse of your smooth skin and leaving a trail of saliva and goosebumps behind, to stop right at your breasts.

He looks up, dark irises searching yours for a sign of hesitation, but he finds none, only lidded eyes silently begging him to carry on, and so he does.

He quickly unhooks your bra and slides it off of you before tossing it away where your blouse is discarded.

He's staring, intently, and it's making you cautious about laying bare underneath him, "st.. stop looking at me like that." you whine frustratedly while shifting your gaze and bringing your arms up to hide yourself behind them, but he's faster than you are, grabbing your wrists and pinning them over your head.

_ "I'm sorry but, I can't help it." he leans in again, capturing your lips in a heated kiss, his hands leave yours to caress down your body, exploring you slowly and thoroughly until finally cupping your breasts.

You shudder in suprise and let out a moan that he thirstily swallows, his hands are big, warm and gentle, fondling your mounds and circling his thumbs around your perked up nipples.

Your breath hitches at once when you feel his growing bulge nudging your thigh, and suddenly everything becomes real.

This is happening, it's no longer just in your head..

You buck your hips against his own unintentionally, and he lets out a muffled hiss as his lips leave yours.

_ "Wait, don't do that." he groans against your neck while squeezing his eyes shut.

What's happening? Did you do something wrong?

_ "I'm sorry Shouta, I'm.."

Good job ruining the mood.

_ "No, no that's not it," he interjects with a worried smile, "you're just so enticing that I don't think I'm able to handle anymore teasing."

You heave a sigh of relief hearing his words, here you thought he might've hated your impulsive advance when in reality he has enjoyed it a bit too much, and you find yourself tempted to do it again, just so you could relish his flustered expression once more.

_ "This makes me so happy.." you whisper a response as your nails rake his arms teasingly, peering at him through your lashes with an inviting gaze.

His lips ghost over your neck and collarbone, placing the softest kisses in their path until they reach your luscious plumpness, "you look delicious." and his brazen words travel through every vein in your body.

His tongue darts out to lick your sensitive nipples one at a time, humming pleasurably as he does, and the wild sensation he's casually providing you, clouds up your brain and messes with your sanity.

He nibbles on your flesh, relishing your cute trembles and sweet sounds of his name moving past your lips as he engulfs your swollen teats into his mouth and devours you hungrily. Growls of pleasure vibrate against your skin as they leave his throat, and greedy hands move lower and lower until they reach your pants to hastily unbutton and lower them to your knees.

_ "Take them off of me, Shouta.." you request breathlessly while writhing underneath him, you're strangely comfortable with every move he's making and wish to dive deeper into this sensation.

_ "You got it beautiful." he mumbles with a mouthful of your flesh, wasting no time to yank off the garment and leave you only in a pair of silk lavender panties that's elegantly wrapped around your most delicate parts.

A gush of cold air hits your skin as he releases your bud with a shameless pop to sit up and observe you, his dark eyes blaze with passion while taking in every single detail of your luscious curves and you suddenly miss the feeling of his mouth on you, arching your back in hopes of making it clear.

He chuckles heartily and places his warm hands on your sides, hooking his fingers in the hem of your undergarment teasingly before running a digit along your covered pussy.

You twitch under his touch and he groans at your reaction before diving in to peck you there, "relax, this is fine right?"

_ "Yeah, yeah it is." you squeeze your eyes shut and spread out your legs further for him to bury his face there, biting hard on your lip and grabbing onto the bedsheets as he grazes his teeth along your panties.

His tongue is hot and tantalizing, tormanting you through the thin fabric with slow wet licks and trails on your concealed crevice.

Your fingers leave the bedding and thread through his hair as he laps you up faster, soaking the frail garment and stimulating you more.

_ "Shouta, please.."

Has it ever crossed your mind that you might possibly be this intimate with the man? Well, perhaps, but only in your mind when you'd spend hours upon hours daydreaming about him, and even then, it has always felt embarrassing and awkward to have such indecent fantasies about him, but this, this isn't embarrassing nor is it awkward and you fail to understand why, but you love it, and that's all you know.

_ "Uhum, what is it? Tell me." he whispers gruffly.

What you want is more of him, what you need is his mouth directly against your folds, but you cannot possibly voice your desire.

He smirks with a feral look in his eyes, "I got it," swiftly sliding off your panties and throwing them away, "this is what you want right?" and he doesn't even wait for you to reply before planting soft kisses on your trembling thighs and placing them carefully on his shoulders, moving in slowly to lick the outlines of the puffy lips and finally push his way to your glistening slit.

The foreign sensation is driving you mad, being devoured by him has certainly been beyond your wildest dreams, yet here you are, his lips are pressed against your lower ones and his warm tongue is slowly moving between your fluttering hole and reddening clit, twisting and rolling deliciously along your slick folds.

_ " Shouta.. right there." the knot in your belly is tightening as he draws your puffy clit into his mouth, sucking it hungrily while his satisfied humms vibrate deep within you.

His grip on your thighs tenses as you start writhing and moaning beneath him, "I can't, I'm cumming, Shouta!" you cry out a warning and grab onto his hands while a wild shudder shakes you to the core, and he doesn't pull away, not yet, not until your pulsating cunt finally slows, and your tense body falls limp.

He gently lowers your legs and arises from between them, slick coated lips glistening and heavy eyes gleaming with animalistic desire while roaming your sprawled frame.

_ "How are you feeling?" his voice is low and gentle, and his thumbs are caressing your sides as he asks.

_ "I'm.. good.. so good." and your breathing is labored as you strive to keep your gaze on him through blurry eyes, the tingling sensation running throughout your body is unbearable and your thirst for him is yet to be quenched.

You want him out of his clothes already, to touch his bare skin and feel his warmth, and the little chuckle he lets out tells you he understands what's on your mind.

He swiftly lifts his shirt over his head and drops it to the ground, his raven hair falls around his face and the look in his eyes sends a shiver down your spine.

Your heart is hammering in your chest as you reach out a shaky hand to run along his inked skin, and for a moment there you get lost in the beautiful details of the art adorning him, you see it all now, every last bit of it as nothing is concealing it away.

He grabs your wrist gently and kisses you there, right where he etched your red rose a few weeks ago, "I love this, it has brought you to my life."

_ "Shouta.." warmth is spreading throughout you whole, as the sincerity of his statement is filling your heart with joy, "me too, it's like a part of you is always with me."

You welcome him in your arms as he lays on top you, bare chests pressed together and eager lips devouring each other in a passionate liplock. You can feel his bulge, hard as a rock against your thigh, and your eagerness to have it buried deep within you is too great to contain.

You roll your hips faintly against him and swallow the surprised gasp he lets out, you can tell he's barely holding on to his sanity when he starts thrusting shallowly against you, but that's hardly enough..

He breaks the kiss to sit up again, parading the huge stiffness formed underneath the confinement of his pants, and running his fingers through his hair while observing your reaction.

This is torture that only he can end, and you actually beg him to, "please hurry Shouta, I can't wait any longer."

That's the only thing he needed to hear you utter before carefully lowering his sweatpants and boxers and freeing his raging cock, "me neither beautiful."

Your eyes widen and your breath gets caught in your throat as his veiny shaft bounces against his abdomen, he looks away as a faint blush dusts his cheeks and you find him almost.. cute, if not for the twitching length pointing to you.

You want to touch it, to guide it to your expectant pussy, but you do not possess the audacity to do so, settling for spreading your legs a bit wider instead.

He leans over to open his nightstand's drawer and rummage through it a bit before pulling out a pack of condoms, hastily taking one out and tossing the rest back.

Has he always had those or did he prepare them especially for tonight?

_ "I got these a couple of weeks ago for a night like this, but I was never going to pressure you into anything I promise." he smiles sweetly while answering your unvoiced question.

You know that though, you trust him wholeheartedly and are certain he would never force you to do anything you're uncomfortable with, "I'm glad you did Shouta, because I'm ready."

You observe fervently as he rolls on the rubber and gives himself a few pumps before aligning his length with your pulsating cunt, "brace yourself babe," he groans through clenched teeth before easing himself into you with a strangled "fuck" leaving his throat.

Your body tenses and eyes widen because of the inevitable twinge of the first intrusion, he's big, stretching you out and filling you to the brim, but he's also there for you, leaning in to kiss your forehead and guide your breathing while rubbing soothing circles on your sides, "I won't move yet, so don't worry."

You follow his instructions and take deep breaths, digging your nails in his shoulders to keep from whimpering. It's obviously hard for him to stay still but he's patiently waiting for you to give him permission to move, and the realization warms up your heart.

_ "I'm fine Shouta, you can move now." to be frank, it is a bit painful still, but your lust for him is even more aching.

He slowly pulls back to the tip and pushes in again just as slowly, his heavy breaths are tickling your face and his hands are squeezing your flesh to keep himself in check.

You cradle his cheeks and look deeply into his eyes with a dazed smile brightening your features, and the little chuckle he lets out swells your heart.

_ "What is it? Why are you smiling at me?" he teases playfully.

_ "I just, I want to ensure this is reality."

His eyes widen hearing your response, but soon, his expression softens once more and he captures your lips in a breathtaking kiss that messes with your brain.

He starts moving again, steadily and carefully, pushing in and out of your warmth as your kiss deepens, it's fiery and sensual, bringing shockwaves of pleasure to the tip of your belly.

His lips part from yours to lay hasty pecks on your cheeks and jawline before moving lower to latch onto your neck while his thrusts gradually quicken.

_ "Shouta, keep going please, just like that." the initial discomfort is finally gone and replaced with an arousing sensation, you shakily wrap your arms around him and whimper his name repeatedly as he bites on your collarbone and pushes faster and deeper.

Remnants of your first orgasm are already coaxing a second one to come, and his skillful plunges and tormenting kisses are driving you mad as your pussy squeezes around him.

_ "Ah fuck.. you feel so good inside that I won't be able to hold out much longer." he growls against your flesh as his thrusts become erratic and his fingers dig deeper into the soft flesh of your buttocks.

_ "Me too! Shouta please! I'm cumming again!" you cry out through strangled whimpers and wrap your strained legs around his waist to bring him even closer.

It doesn't take much longer after that for you to wail his name over and over again until a splintering bliss ripples through your whole being, and you're left shuddering with mind blowing ecstacy.

He sits up at once, hips snapping against yours and pounding mercilessly into your pulsating walls as you ride out your orgasm, his eyes shine across the dimly lit room as he fills up his senses with the sight of you; spent body shimmering in a sheen of sweat and a deep flush, puffy lips mouthing his name repeatedly, disheveled hair strewn over the pillow, trembling fists grasping onto the bedsheets beneath you, and he loses his mind at that instance, low groans escaping his mouth as he thrusts one last time before his hips finally still, buried deep into your warmth as his pearly seeds fill up the condom.

You welcome him between your arms as he collapses on top of you, and you can feel his heart pounding against your chest while his hot breath tickles your cheek.

You're too exhausted to move a muscle, but cannot fight the smile appearing on your face, tonight was perfect, he is perfect.

He shifts a little to slip out of you with a groan leaving his throat and a gasp leaving yours, your walls are left empty, clenching around nothing as he peels off the rubber and tosses it in the trashcan nearby.

_ "Are you okay?" he coos softly, lips brushing against your ear.

_ "Yes, you were very gentle with me." your eyes are heavy and already closing as you reply.

_ "Well, you're my lady."

You yelp in surprise when he picks you up in his arms and gets out of bed, walking straight to the bathroom with you clutching on to his shoulders, "and now all I need you to do is relax and allow me to take care of everything." he requests with a smile while putting the toilet lid down and placing you gently atop it before turning on warm water to fill the tub.

_ "I'm all yours, Shouta."

To be continued..

100 notes · View notes

daisynik7 · 1 year

Text

Primetime

Part 3 of Dirty Thirty

🎶 Baby it's a prime time for our love, ain't nobody peekin' but the stars above. It's a prime time for our love, and heaven is betting on us. 🎶

Pairing: Kishibe x f!reader

Rating: Explicit

cw: Switching POVs (Kishibe third-person, reader second-person), vaginal sex (cowgirl, doggy, missionary), nipple play, spit play, cunnilingus, spanking, breeding kink, daddy kink, lots of fluff, pet names (princess, baby)

Word Count: ~6.5k

Summary: You and Kishibe are officially a couple. These are the little moments that all lead up to the big one.

Notes: I did it. I wrote a Part 3; I hope you all like it! Title inspired by the song “Primetime” by Janelle Monae ft. Miguel, definitely recommend listening to this to set the mood right! Please read the first two parts, linked below! Likes, reblogs, and comments are all super appreciated, would love to hear what you all think!

Part 1 - Dirty Thirty | Part 2 - After Last Night | ao3

Kishibe doesn’t know how to be a good boyfriend.

It’s been almost a month since he and his girlfriend started dating. This morning, he displays a photo booth picture at his cubicle. She convinced him to do it while they were at the beach boardwalk this past weekend, and of course, he couldn’t refuse her. He never can, despite being opposed to corny shit like that. But even he can admit that the photos turned out decent.

Nobody is at their desk unless they’re filling out paperwork, so he doesn’t think anyone will notice. However Himeno, one of his current protégés, is keen, observant, and a goddamn nosey pest.

“Master, is this your girlfriend?” She points at the photo strip, a hint of excitement bubbling behind her typically calm demeanor.

Not wanting this to be a bigger deal than it needs to be, he casually answers, “Yes.”

“I see.” There’s a clever smirk on her face, as if she’s plotting something cheeky to say. He’s surprised when instead, she comments, “That is a very nice picture.”

He grumbles in response, not used to small talk involving his personal life.

“How long have you been dating?”

“Almost a month.” He pretends to be preoccupied with organizing all his forms, avoiding eye contact, wishing for this conversation to end.

“What are you doing for your anniversary?”

This gets his attention. “Huh?”

“Your one-month anniversary. What are your plans to celebrate?”

Finally, he meets her gaze, setting aside his stack of papers. “People celebrate that?”

“Well, couples do, yes.”

He stares at her, unsure how to react. It’s been decades since his last relationship, probably during grade school if he’s remembering correctly. Obviously, the standards have changed since then, but to celebrate a month of dating? It seems trivial to him. Then again, he hasn’t had a serious girlfriend as an adult. It’s going extremely well between them, and he doesn’t want to mess this up, especially only after a few weeks into it.

Too proud to ask his junior for advice, he takes his lunch break to eat a bowl of ramen while scrolling through his phone, searching every article he can find on how to celebrate anniversaries. He finds a few ideas that he can get on board with, and some he completely tosses out the window because of how fucking ridiculous they are.

By Friday night, the actual day of their anniversary, he has a plan. A little before 6:00 PM, he buzzes her in and waits for the familiar knock on the door. When he opens it, she greets him with a warm smile. “Kishibe.”

She wears a modest dress, having just come from the office. Overnight bag in hand, ready to spend another weekend here at his apartment. Once inside, she drops her belongings and wraps her arms around him. “Hi.”

He returns her embrace, inhaling the pleasant scent he yearns for on the days they’re not together. “How are you?”

“Tired. I’m ready for a nice, relaxing weekend with my boyfriend.” Every time she calls him that, his chest swells with an odd sensation. He hasn’t gotten used to it yet, but it’s not unwanted. In fact, he quite likes it.

As she removes her shoes by the door, he sneaks into the kitchen to retrieve the bouquet he purchased earlier from a local florist. Thirty red roses, one for each day they’ve been a couple. He read online that this is considered romantic.

He walks towards her with the bouquet in his grasp, her eyes and smile widening at the scene before her. “What’s this?”

“Happy one-month anniversary.” He thrusts the roses forward, hoping she takes it. She continues to stare at him with a big grin on her face.

“What?” He’s blushing now, nervous that this is all wrong. “Say something.”

She grabs the flowers, lifting them towards her nose to sniff. “They’re beautiful. Thank you.”

He clears his throat. “We also have reservations at your favorite restaurant in an hour.”

At this, she lets out a small squeal. “Really? You didn’t have to do any of this,” she says, face still buried in the flowers, clearly enjoying this.

“I wanted to.”

She sets the roses down on the counter, stepping towards him to tug playfully on his tie. “You really are the sweetest. I’m sorry I didn’t get you anything. I’m such a terrible girlfriend.”

“The worst,” he smirks, sliding his hands around her waist.

“Can I make it up to you?” She kisses him, slow and passionate, using his tie to pull him deeper. “Show you how sorry I am?”

He plays along, knowing exactly where this is leading. “You better be sorry. I’m pretty upset.”

“I hope you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me, then.”

“We’ll see.” They walk to the couch in tandem, gazing into each other’s lust filled eyes.

When he’s sat, she straddles him. “Do you remember the night we first met? We were right here on this couch.”

“How can I forget?” He roams up and down her back, the fabric of her dress silky on his calloused fingers.

“Well, my memory is a little hazy. Remind me.” She guides his hands to her chest, kneading her breasts.

“You’re being very naughty right now,” he mutters in his low voice. “First, no gift. Now this. Seems like you want to be punished.”

“Yeah, I do. I need to be punished. I’m a very bad girlfriend.” She peers at him with a desperate expression, eyes gleaming with desire. He can’t help but falter under her gaze.

“Fuck, you’re asking for it.” He lifts the hem of her dress over her ass, feeling for her panties. Sliding his fingers beneath the lace, bunching it in his fist it to bury between her ass cheeks, exposing her beautiful bottom. Perfectly bare for a good spanking. She sucks in a breath, anticipating it, aching for it. He presses a gentle kiss to her ear before delivering a loud smack, focused on the jiggle of her supple flesh upon contact.

“Fuck, baby. Do it again,” she demands, grinding on his lap.

He repeats, this time on the opposite side, massaging the tender skin after. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

She presses her forehead to his. “You never do. Don’t worry.”

They kiss as they strip their remaining clothes. Soon, they’re completely naked on the couch, her on his lap, kissing along his neck. He reaches his fingers towards her pussy, caressing his thumb on her clit.

“Baby,” she whines. “I want you inside me. I want to ride this cock until we both come.”

“Then do it, sweetie. I’m all yours.”

It’s reminiscent of their first time. They were hasty that night, desperate for a quick fuck with a total stranger. Indulging in wicked fantasies they both needed satiated. This time, it’s more intimate. He pays attention to the sound of her heartbeat, the warmth in her cheeks, goosebumps forming on the most sensitive spots of her skin, the angelic sounds coming from her lips. Memorizing it all until it’s ingrained in his mind.

His cock is sprung against his abdomen, already leaking precum at the tip. He grabs hold of his erection, rubbing the head onto her puffy clit, tapping it loudly. Wet slaps spurring her to rut into his lap faster. Her hands are clasped around her tits, fingers pinching at her hardening nipples, erotic as ever in front of him. It’s a captivating sight he’s seen before, but always marvels, still in disbelief at his luck one month ago when he first laid eyes on her.

He strokes himself, spreading precum along the shaft, though it’s not enough. “Spit on it, princess. Get it wet for me.”

She nods, bowing her head to dribble a warm stream of saliva down onto his cock, coating his dick. Slick enough, she lifts up to position him at her entrance, sinking down gradually until she’s sat on his lap again, wiggling her ass to get herself comfortable.

He hums, relishing the sensation of being nestled inside her precious cunt, holding her in a snug embrace. They stay like this for a moment, him sliding one hand around her breast, kissing her nipple.

“Kishibe,” she breathes out, eager for more.

He sucks it plump against his lips, flicking his tongue on it, listening for her pleasured moans with each lick. His cock twitches inside her, still hard, surrounded by her wet heat. The temptation to fuck her is almost irresistible; however, seeing her in this blissful state is too marvelous to rush.

“Baby, fuck,” she whines, as he works on her other tit, pulling it taut with his mouth. It’s his favorite, witnessing her unravel on top of him. And tonight is a celebration. It makes it all the more special.

Releasing her, he leans back, holding her sides once more, watching her slowly rock back and forth on his thighs. “Go ahead. Ride me. Fuck me till we both come. You can do it.”

Using her knees for leverage, she rises slightly, keeping just his tip inside, them sinks back down, repeating so that she’s bouncing on his cock steadily.

“There you go. Use that cock, baby. Just like that,” he whispers, staring at his dick disappearing into her pussy. He stays still, letting her do all the work, resisting the urge to slam his hips into her. He wants to savor this, indulge in it as long as he possibly can.

Cupping her face, he teases her lips with his thumb, slipping it inside her mouth for her to suck on. She holds his wrist, sticking it further down her tongue, spreading her saliva around him. He pulls it out, a string of shiny spit connected to her lips as he reaches down to touch her clit.

“Ah, Kishibe. That feels so good,” she praises, riding him faster.

“You’re getting close, I know it. Come for me, baby. Make us both come.” He holds her close, tongues slipping into each other’s mouths, messy and wet. His thumb toys with her swollen clit, her wanton moans vibrating against his lips. His abdomen is clenched tight, ready for release. He wants to spill inside her, give her his all, just as she does for him.

Unable to resist any longer, he grips her bottom, holding her in place. He starts thrusting up into her, feet planted firmly to the floor, couch squeaking with every plunge of his hips. She’s tight around him, slick already creamy on his shaft, her fingers rubbing fast on her bud to reach her climax faster. Her high-pitched whimpers and obscene squelches of arousal spur him on, driving him further and further off the edge. They come together, cum filling up her pussy until it’s leaking between them, the sticky aftermath evidence of their passionate love making. They catch their breaths, Kishibe relaxing on the couch as she slumps over him, face buried in his neck. Soon, she starts giggling. He can’t help but join.

“You really are a terrible girlfriend, making me come right before dinner,” he teases her.

“I had to do my part after you planned such a lovely evening.” She sighs happily. “I’m so lucky to have a thoughtful boyfriend.”

“It’s really nothing,” he waves off.

“It’s definitely something. I’m truly so lucky,” she reiterates, nuzzling comfortably against him. “So lucky.”

A while passes before he reluctantly suggests, “We should get ready soon.”

“Wait. Let’s just stay like this for another minute or two,” she murmurs, clinging to him tighter.

He chuckles, thankful she suggested it, because that’s exactly what he wants to do too. “Okay. Whatever you say.”

“Happy anniversary, Kishibe.”

“Happy anniversary, princess.”

~~~

The first time Kishibe tells you he loves you, he’s drunk.

He has an assignment outside of the city, food and lodging included, staying at a hotel with his protégé, Himeno, who you’ve met several times in the three months you’ve been dating. You’re well acquainted with her, so much so that you even have her number, in case of emergencies. However, she often texts you anyways just to chat, which you don’t mind at all.

On the last day of his mission, he informs you that he’ll be out for drinks with his partner and a few other members of Public Safety. It must have been a successful job, considering there were no deaths, either civilians or devil hunters. It’s always a relief, knowing that Kishibe has survived another day.

You lie in bed, scrolling through the myriad of texts you’ve exchanged with him over the past week. Although he considers himself a man of few words, he never fails to send you a message whenever he can, whether it’s a good morning text, a quick check in, even a snapshot of what he’s eating that day. Tonight, he barely contacts you, busy celebrating with his comrades. You can’t blame him, but there’s no denying it; you miss him.

Being in your own bed on a Friday night, in the dinky apartment you share with your not-so-stellar roommate, is a feeling you’ve happily become unfamiliar with. You wish you were in Kishibe’s luxurious king-sized bed instead, snuggled in his strong arms, being kissed and licked all over. His gruff voice hot in your ear, whispering sweet nothings that make you melt.

Without thinking, you send him a text, simply stating I miss you. You don’t wait for a reply, distracting yourself with a show, surrounded by blankets and pillows to fill the void left by his absence. When did you become so needy?

On the verge of sleep, the vibration and ping of your phone stirs you awake. It’s almost 11 PM. Your heart flutters, hoping it’s your boyfriend. You’re surprised to see Himeno’s name on the notification.

It’s a picture of Kishibe, slumped over at a table, clearly drunk. His other colleagues pose beside him, some waving peace signs, others sticking their tongues out, all of them holding beers. You chuckle at the image, happy to see all of them smiling and lively. Even if your boyfriend is intoxicated out of his wit’s end, at least you know he’s alive. Death is a new fear you’ve inherited since being seriously involved with a devil hunter. You spend every waking moment together, treating it like it’s your last, because you never know if it is.

As you admire the photo, you suddenly get a call from the sender. “Hello?” you answer.

Himeno’s voice is soft through the speaker. “Hi there, friend. Did you like what I sent you?” You imagine her leaning on the wall outside the bar, preparing to smoke.

You laugh. “I do. Thank you for that. I hope he’s not giving you too much trouble.”

“On the contrary, he was our source of entertainment tonight.” On the other end of the line, you hear the drag of her cigarette.

“Really?”

She lets out a puff before answering, “Yes. He wouldn’t shut up about how amazing his girlfriend is.”

A rush of heat surrounds your cheeks, either from flattery or embarrassment. “What?”

“He kept gushing on and on about you, it was non-stop.”

“That doesn’t sound like Kishibe. Are you sure you’ve got the right one in there?”

“Oh, I’m sure,” she chuckles. “To be fair, he’s had quite a lot to drink. And his tolerance has turned to shit. What’s up with that?”

You’ve recently noticed the subtle changes in his drinking habits. His flask stays on the dish rack all weekend, coincidentally whenever you’re visiting. He rarely orders liquor when you’re out to dinner. He only indulges in a bottle of wine the two of you share occasionally over a home-cooked meal.

“I don’t know,” you answer, not wanting to admit anything on Kishibe’s behalf.

You hear her hum in response, taking another hit of her cigarette. “I think it’s because he’s happy. He doesn’t need to forget anymore because he’s got you.”

The words hang tight in your throat, leaving you speechless.

She giggles faintly, aware of the depth her statement holds. “Anyways, I called in case you want the address to our hotel. Master is staying in the room right next to mine. Given the state he’s in, he may need his lovely girlfriend to take care of him.”

You think about this for a minute, still reeling over her touching sentiment just a few seconds ago. Before you can refuse, she offers, “I’ll call you a cab and charge it to work. Consider it a service you’re fulfilling for Public Safety, assisting our highest ranked Devil Hunter.”

Eventually, you agree, thanking her for the idea. She chats with you a while longer as you hastily pack a gym bag with all the essentials, excited to reunite with Kishibe. You hang up with her once you’re out of the apartment, cab already waiting for you. Ten minutes to your destination, you text Himeno your status, allowing her time to bring him back to the hotel to meet you.

You’re waiting in the lobby when you hear the doors open to see Kishibe hunched between Himeno and another colleague. Her face lights up when she sees you, prompting her to nudge him in the ribs. “Hey, Master. Guess who’s here?”

He lifts his head up slowly, eyes completely blitzed, as he rasps, “Huh?”

You approach them, grinning from his ridiculous expression. It takes a while for him to process, blinking rapidly, as if correcting his vision. When he finally realizes it’s you, he stands up a little straighter and whispers your name.

“Surprise,” you say, waving in front of him.

He repeats your name again, removing himself from his coworkers to wrap his arms around you. The smell of liquor is intense, indicating just how drunk he really is.

“I guess our work here is done,” Himeno smirks. “I think Master is in good hands now. Let’s go, Arai.” She passes you the key card to the room, giving you one last wink before they leave towards the elevators.

“Kishibe, let’s go to the room now,” you tell him, his body drooped over you.

“Don’t leave me,” he whines, voice husky from inebriation.

“I’m not, we’re going to your room together,” you explain, rubbing his back. “Can you walk with me to the elevator?”

He nods languidly, dragging his feet beside you as you make your way up to his room. Inside, he immediately shrugs his overcoat off and collapses into bed face first. You sit at the end of the bed, patiently removing his shoes from his feet.

In the bathroom, you soak a small bath towel in warm water, wringing out any excess liquid. You grab a fresh bottle of water from the mini fridge and crack it open, pouring it into a glass for easy access. Kishibe grunts into the pillow as you sit beside him, rolling him over so he’s face up. When he sees you, he grins. “Am I dead?”

“Of course not, sweetie,” you answer, placing the warm towel on his forehead, gently pressing your palm on top.

“Then why is there an angel here with me?” He lifts his arm to point at you.

“You’re so ridiculous, you know that?”

He reaches for you, tugging at your sleeve. “The only thing that’s ridiculous is how fucking beautiful you are.” He lays your hand on his cheek, nestling into your palm like a puppy. It’s a side of him that you’ve seen brief glimpses of, but never to this extent.

“You’re drunk,” you tease him, tapping your thumb at his chin.

“Drunk in love,” he replies, chuckling to himself.

Love. Maybe you’re both too old to put such meaning into words. There’s no doubt that it’s there, never admitted out loud. Why bother saying it when it’s so obvious?

You caress his cheek, tracing the scar that you love so much. He’s told you the story behind it more than once, each time, a new detail added that you tuck away into your treasure box of him in your brain.

You love everything about him. His past, his present. Flaws and perfections, or the lack thereof. He’s rough around the edges, definitely not sugar-coated, even a bit intense. His immense strength is hidden beneath his stoic demeanor, reserved specifically to hunt devils, never fully revealed to you. Still, you feel safe with him, as if all potential dangers are thwarted in his mere presence. You’ve heard it enough to know that he’s a force to be reckoned with, a serious outlier in a job where young people die and growing old doesn’t exist. He’s the exception.

And you’re the same for him. A life beyond the confines of devil hunting. An escape that doesn’t involve a bottle. A chance at normalcy in a world where nothing for him is normal. It almost never happened. The first night you met, he warned you about his lifestyle, watched you walk away for your own sake. And now, you’re the exception.

He gazes at you with half-lidded eyes, still intoxicated, but fully aware. Smiling, he whispers your name. “I love you.”

You stare at him, startled by his candid confession. The words are on the tip of your tongue, easy and effortless, because you truly feel it. But you don’t say it back, thinking he’ll forget this conversation in the morning. You want it to be special, not in the midst of his drunken stupor.

So, you keep quiet, gradually removing his tie, unbuttoning his shirt, and loosening his belt. After you change and brush your teeth, you return to him, coaxing him into drinking water, which he does, before you both settle under the covers, cuddling. Eventually, he falls asleep, you following him soon after.

In the morning, you wake up to Kishibe caressing your cheek, delicately petting your temple. He’s turned towards you, shirtless and smiling. “Good morning, princess.”

You bite your lip, happy to see him. “Good morning.”

“You surprised me last night, didn’t you?” He pulls you in closer.

You burrow your face against his bare chest, last night’s booze almost completely worn off. “You can blame Himeno for that. She’s very convincing.”

“I’ll make sure to thank her. Somehow, she knew that I needed you.” He cradles you, kissing your forehead. “By the way, you owe me something.”

“What?”

“You know what.”

You look up at him. “You remember?”

“Of course I remember.” Pressing his forehead to yours, he whispers, “I love you.”

The second time Kishibe says it, he’s completely sober. And this time, you say it back.

~~~

When he asks her to move in with him, he almost doesn’t go through with it.

It’s a Sunday morning. They’ve been dating for six months now, spending most of their time in his apartment, snuggled in his king-sized bed. She often complains about her place, the typical grievances of an adult woman living with a roommate she doesn’t particularly get along with. But it’s not her woes that convince him to ask her. It’s his own selfish desires.

He wants to wake up every single morning to her pretty face, to that warm smile that ignites every nerve in his body, that cute laugh that plays like the most majestic melody in his head. He doesn’t need drugs or caffeine to give him that energy boost. He needs her.

Today is different than other Sundays. She warned him the night before; she needs to leave early to attend to some roommate business. They’re having issues with the refrigerator, and she, apparently, needs to be there to deal with it.

They cuddle in bed, enveloped by blankets and body heat, kissing each other softly. This usually leads to something steamy, but not today. When she pulls away to get ready to leave, he’s disappointed, enough that he mutters, “Don’t.”

She turns to face him with a confused expression. “Don’t what?”

He pauses, doubting himself if this is the right moment, so he keeps quiet.

She returns to the bed, hopping on top of him, palms at his cheeks. “Don’t what, sweetie?”

“Don’t leave,” he musters, through gritted teeth.

Giggling, she nuzzles her nose against his. “You know I have to.”

“You don’t. Not if you live here with me.”

“Are you asking me to move in?”

“Yeah, I am.”

She squeals, smile incapable of being any bigger. The reaction he was hoping for. “Took you long enough. I can’t believe I get to live with you.” She kisses his scar, then his forehead. “My baby.” A smooch on the lips. “My new roommate.”

He keeps her there, kissing her deep, tongue slipping inside her mouth. She moans into him, grinding her hips on his lap.

“I’m taking this as a yes, then?”

She nods, sucking on his lower lip. “Mm-hm.”

“Don’t you have to meet your roommate soon?” he reminds her, slipping beneath her shirt to fondle her breasts.

“I don’t fucking care anymore. I’m going to be living with my boyfriend soon. She can get mad at me all she wants.”

He never gets sick of hearing her call him that. Her boyfriend. He’s hasn’t been anyone’s for the longest time. It feels good to be hers. “Are you still sore from last night?” He reaches his other hand down to rub her clit over her panties.

“A little bit,” she answers, scattering kisses along his neck.

“Let me eat it then,” he whispers, sucking on her ear lobe, slipping past the fabric to slide his finger up and down her folds. “Ride my fucking face. Give me my breakfast in bed. Want to eat this pussy until I’m full.”

It’s safe to say that the relationship with her old roommate is properly ruined this day, in favor of her new one.

~~~

Kishibe is the first to mention having kids.

A year into your relationship, he tags along to your niece’s birthday party. The mother, Hina, who is your best friend, has already met Kishibe on multiple occasions, but never in a setting like this. A children’s party is another level of crazy that even the insane devil hunter himself might not be able to bear.

After the usual round of greetings, your niece, Maki, immediately stands in front of him to peer at his face, curious. In his gruff voice, he greets, “Happy birthday, Maki,” proceeding to pat her awkwardly on the head.

She continues to stare at him, a glint of suspicion in her expression. “Are you an FBI agent or something?”

For some reason, he decided to wear his work attire to a children’s party. You’re trying to contain your laughter as he clears his throat to answer her. “Actually, I am a devil hunter.”

Maki’s eyes go round. “Devil…hunter…?”

“Yup.”

Without taking her gaze off of him, she starts yelling for all her friends, who come running immediately, all marveling at Kishibe. He glances at you, brows twitching slightly in concern. All you can do is grin at him, knowing he’s in for it.

For the next hour or so, the kids take advantage of this opportunity to entertain their premiere guest, challenging him to see how many of them he can carry at once, demanding to be shown his “special” moves, even go so far as to gnaw at his overcoat, acting like true devils. He takes it all in stride, his stoic expression cracking occasionally into the tiniest smile.

You sneak him a few slices of pizza as he bicep curls three of the kids, including birthday girl Maki. Before he eats, he gives you a smooch on the cheek, indicating that he’s actually enjoying himself.

From the other side of the room, you sit next to Hina, who’s carrying her other child, baby Kenji. You’re playing peek-a-boo when your friend asks, “So, do you think you and Kishibe will ever have kids?”

“We haven’t even talked about marriage yet, we’re for sure not thinking about kids.”

“You two don’t talk about that stuff?”

It’s been a year now since you’ve been with Kishibe, and it’s still going extremely well. You’ve been preoccupied with enjoying the relationship that you haven’t thought to discuss important matters yet. You shrug and answer, “No, not really.”

“Well, don’t you think you should bring it up?”

You think for several seconds before answering, “We’re taking it one step at a time. We’re fine where we’re at now.”

She gives you a look, as if she wants to say something else, but she ends up dropping it. Maki’s voice rings out from the living room, calling for her. “Oh shoot, can you hold Kenji for a bit? Maki needs me.”

You agree, holding your arms out to cradle him. He peers up at you with the whimsy and wonder that most babies radiate. You smile, finding a comfortable position to hold him in.

“You’re a natural.” You look up to see Kishibe standing in front you, a birthday hat on his head, probably forced there by the rugrats.

“And you’re a hit,” you reply, grinning. “The kids love you. Are you having fun?”

He removes his hat to place on you instead. “I don’t mind it.” He hovers over your face to give you a playful pinch on your cheek.

Kenji starts to fuss, to which you focus your attention back to him, cooing until he’s peaceful again. From your peripheral, you spot your boyfriend watching you intently.

“You’d make a good mother,” he states, quietly.

You look up at him, surprised by his statement. “Really?”

“Yeah. You look good like this,” he comments, nonchalant, as if he’s playing it off. You remain silent, still unsure how to respond.

Then, he comments, “I think we’d be good parents, you and I.”

“You do?” You beam at him, impossible now to contain.

“Yeah. We’d be great,” he reiterates, gazing at you with a soft, loving expression.

On the drive home from the party, Kishibe rests his palm on your thigh as he steers with the other. There’s a new vibe between you now, knowing that you’re both on the same page about having children. He actually seems excited about it.

Back at the apartment, after you put away all of the leftovers from the party, you both retreat into the bedroom to change. While you’re stripped almost bare, aside from your bottoms, he approaches you, hugging you from behind as he kisses your nape.

You giggle, craning your neck to face him. “What’s gotten into you?”

“I can’t stop thinking about it,” he whispers, grazing your ear with his lips.

“About what?”

“Making a baby with you.” His voice is low and sultry as his hands glide to your waist, slowly slipping under the elastic of your pajamas.

“Are you serious right now?”

“Mm-hm.”

His fingers find your pussy, rubbing the fabric against your clit. The other hand tugs your pants past your ass, causing them to fall to the floor, bunched at your ankles. You let out an exasperated moan, almost annoyed at his timing, but most definitely turned on. You lift your feet to shove your clothes away, reaching behind to palm his erection. Of course he isn’t wearing clothes, clad in only his boxer briefs, which are tight around his growing bulge. You’ve been ambushed, and you don’t know whether to be worried or horny. Probably the latter.

Within a minute, the two of you are naked on top of the bed, not bothering to lie under the covers. He kisses you all over your body, starting at your needy lips, dragging his tongue down to abdomen to nestle his face into your plush stomach. Seconds later, his mouth is surrounding your clit, swishing his spit, swirling his tongue, your whimpers filling the room. You spread your thighs wider, grabbing onto the top of his head, binding his hair into a fist to pull him off when it gets too sensitive. Though he never lets you, always relentless when he eats you out.

When you come, he slurps on your slick until he’s satisfied, dipping his tongue deep into your pussy walls, collecting every drop of you into his mouth. Once he’s finished, he climbs on top, kissing you on the lips, still wet with your arousal, tasting it for yourself. You wrap your fingers around his hard cock, stroking him before he stands at the edge of the bed, pulling you towards him to position himself in front of you. You hear him open the bedside drawer, retrieving the regularly used bottle of lube, the snap, squelch, and click a familiar sound.

He guides his dick into you slowly, pulling away at the slightest resistance, only to thrust back in gently. Your cunt squeezes around him as he fucks you, bent over your chest to suck on your nipples simultaneously. Without warning, he releases you from his mouth to hoists your legs up onto his shoulder, cock plunging farther into your pussy.

Surprised, you cry out, “Kishibe!”

His eyes are wild, an animal in heat, fucking you harder and deeper. “I want to fuck a baby in you just like this. Breed you until you’re round in your belly.” He slides his palm over your stomach, stroking around your navel. “Right here.”

There are tears in your eyes from the pleasure, your throat dry from the excessive moans he’s drawing out from you. All you can do is take it.

“You fucking love this, don’t you? I’ll be such a good daddy to you and our baby,” he grunts.

You nod your head erratically, babbling, “Fuck, I want that so bad. I want that so bad, daddy.”

He chuckles, breathing staggered. “You like calling me daddy now, knowing I’m going to breed you. Knowing I’m going to give you my fucking seed.” He’s hitting your sweet spot over and over, fingers rapidly toying with your clit.

“Fuck, right there!”

“Daddy’s hitting it good, huh? Giving it to you so fucking good. Gonna fill this pretty pussy with all of my daddy cum, isn’t that right, princess?” He huffs filthy words at you, completely immersed in whatever carnal instinct is controlling him in this moment.

You tremble all over, skin hot with passion as you climax. He pumps his cock into you, spilling his load until his balls are emptied out. He pulls out slowly, watching his creamy cum leak out of your slit, enjoying it like a masterpiece that he helped paint.

He lies beside you, both of you calming down from your orgasms. “Was that too much?” he asks, rubbing your belly again.

“No. It was great,” you reassure him, smiling as you cover his hand with yours, entwining your fingers. “Didn’t think you’d have a baby fever all of a sudden.”

“To be fair, I wasn’t sure I wanted kids. Not since recently.”

“Really? Why?”

“Because now I have a chance at a life like that. I never knew that was possible for me until I met you.”

Your heart swells at this, blinking your eyes to rid any residual or oncoming tears. You lean close to kiss him softly on the cheek. “I love you, Kishibe.”

“I love you too, princess.”

~~~

He proposes on a sunny afternoon in the middle of the week during spring. Cherry blossom season.

A few months ago, on a whim, they went ring shopping, for shits and giggles. She got her finger sized, which he noted, and she gazed at a particular ring for a good two minutes, a twinkle in her eye that was unmistakable. He knew that was the one, just as he knows that she is the one.

He bought it two weeks later, and since then, it’s been in his pocket, rolling around in there for months now. He’s been close a few times already, grazing the box with his fingers, ready to whip it out during an especially romantic moment. Still, it never felt right.

That is, until today.

They’re both on their lunch breaks, walking off their meal at a nearby park, fingers interlaced seamlessly. This has become routine for them, something they’ve become used to. But every time, he craves it more and more. The intimacy of it. The normalcy of it. He’s getting accustomed to feeling human, and not solely a devil hunting machine. And it’s all thanks to her.

It’s been two years now, living together in domestic bliss, practically inseparable, aside from their day jobs. He’d carry her around in his pocket if he could, or he’d shrink himself down to be in hers. Either way, he wishes they were always with each other.

He’s become a man dependent on a woman. If you’d ask him three years ago if he’d ever become like this, he’d scoff and deny it. Now, he doesn’t bat an eye to admit it. He’s fucking needy, and unashamed about it.

They are by no means perfect. A relationship without flaws doesn’t exist in the real world. They argue, as regular couples do, but never going to bed angry. No matter who’s right or wrong, they both listen to each other and talk it out. What he loves about her is that she’s neither a dream nor a fantasy; she’s real. Perfectly imperfect, just as he is. He never has to worry about waking up and finding out it was his imagination all along. He knows she exists by the way her body feels around him, the warmth of skin against his, the lingering scent of her shampoo on the pillows and sheets. Bits and pieces of her scattered through their apartment, mixed with traces of him, combining into a beautiful, cohesive mess.

Kishibe never considered himself a sentimental person, not until her. Now, everything has meaning. Nothing is too little or insignificant to cherish. Movie stubs, blurry polaroid pictures, a Dirty Thirty! sash and sparkly tiara still hanging on the corner of the vanity. It’s reminders that their time together has never been wasted, especially when life can be cut short in any moment.

They find a park bench to sit at, watching soft, pink petals float lazily through the breeze. She rests her head on his shoulder, observing all the blossoms falling from the trees. “I wish we could stay like this forever. I don’t want to go back to work.”

He squeezes her hand, hoping his palms aren’t sweating. “Me too.” It’s rare for Kishibe to be nervous, but for some reason, he is. In his pocket, he feels for the vechalvet box, housing the ring. Second guessing himself if this is really right.

“Let’s run away. Quit our jobs and live off the grid,” she teases. It’s not the first time she’s joked about it. They often do, wishing they could neglect the responsibilities of the real world to indulge in each other endlessly.

“Why don’t we get married first. Then we’ll plan our escape.”

“We’re practically married, aren’t we?” She nuzzles her cheek against him. “I already consider you my husband.”

He swallows hard, adrenaline coursing this his veins. The moment finally here. “Let’s make it official then.”

It’s a Wednesday afternoon, as mundane as the last, when Kishibe asks her to marry him. It becomes the most special day of his life because she says yes.

--------------------

End Notes: Thank you all for reading this Kishibe fic! I hope you enjoyed reading just as much as I enjoyed writing it. :)

Taglist: one of my fave people on here @liliorsstuff-blog! thank you for always showing me love and supporting me, love you! 💜

#kishibe #kishibe csm #chainsaw man #kishibe smut #kishibe x reader #kishibe x you #kishibe x y/n #chainsaw man smut #csm smut #csm kishibe #kishibe brainrot #chainsaw man kishibe #dirty thirty #primetime

289 notes · View notes

bippot · 1 year

Text

Top Gun: Maverick - Robert "Bob" Floyd Masterlist

1) Tense ~ Hangman unexpectedly plays matchmaker when he offers the group a way to deal with the after-effects of their training, which causes Bob to meet the one for him.

2) Tomorrow's Tomorrow ~ Before and after a mission, sober or drunken, Bob wants to spend his time with just one gal. Their friends are also rather amused by his obvious crush on her and like to document their interactions.

3) The Female Species ~ Turns out the Dagger Squad don't really know much about Bob. They certainly didn't know he had a wife, yet she provides them with some more information about the reclusive Robert Floyd. She hadn't seen him in three months and was more than prepared to spill all of his well hidden secrets to his friends.

Yet, he still managed to leave the celebration early and, instead of being alone like usual, he has his wife on his arm.

4) So Very Polite ~ Of all the traits of Bob, his girlfriend has a particular gripe with how polite he is. Usually, it's a good aspect of him. Sometimes it can be a little annoying, especially if she's lacking sleep.

But, that's okay. She has her own special way to force him to be a little more casual in her home.

5) Robert Floyd, Man of The Sky ~ When his old college pal inherits her grandmother's lake house, Bob is the first to nominate himself to help out. It gives him something to do and a chance to feel young, something that he only feels when he's in the sky.

6) There's A Storm Coming ~ After not seeing each other for years, Bob reunites with his old friend for the mission and they pick up right where they left off - desperately yearning for the other's love.

7) Mini Me ~ Of course Bob has a family. It was obvious. Phoenix knew that and did everything in her power to ensure he got back to them. So, she had to meet his wife and son. A trip to the Hard Deck gives his son a new fascination and his wife a chance to reconnect with an old college...friend? Boyfriend? Whatever, it doesn't annoy Bob at all.

8) Relaxed (sequel to Tense) ~ In the comfort of his relationship, Bob gets a bit excited when his girlfriend first admits she loves him and unknowingly convinces her to be hours late for work. After an incident that causes her bed to break, Bob is mortified but still deals with the teasing he gets from his friends when they grab drinks at the Hard Deck later that day.

9) All Over Again ~ When he used to say that he wished he could fall in love with his wife all over again, Bob may have jinxed himself. Yet, the process of knowing her once more wasn't as smooth as he'd used to think. Honestly, he doesn't know which is worse - his broken bones or the fact she can't seem to forget who he once was?

Chapter 1: All Over Again

Chapter 2: Like Beavers

Chapter 3: Think About Love

Chapter 4: Overwhelming

Chapter 5: Service With A Smile

Chapter 6: All Coming Back To Me

#bob floyd x female reader #bob floyd x reader #robert bob floyd #bob fucks #bob floyd #top gun maverick #masterlist

445 notes · View notes

itsjaywalkers · 3 months

Note

hi hi, would u be able to give us any oby facts and headcanons that maybe won’t be mentioned in the story?

OF COURSE NONNIE in fact i'd love to bc i've barely been able to write these past two days bc of work and . i miss them </3

they fuck at the very least once a day (usually more tho)

james goes to pick reg up from work whenever his job allows him to

this means that when he gets impatient waiting for reg to change he goes inside the staff room (since reg's coworkers already know who he is) and corners him . bc he can't wait long without putting his hands (or mouth) on reg

they've gone for quickies inside there SO MANY TIMES

reg is an absolute disaster in the kitchen, he keeps himself alive through instant ramen + the meal deals at tesco + what they feed him at work, so james cooks for him whenever he gets the chance

reg has a priv twt acc where only barty + the twins + sirius follow him and he makes very feral threads about james there (without mentioning james during the time sirius doesn't know)

reg's coworkers gossiped about reg and his mysterious partner for WEEKS bc he started being glued to his phone during shifts and he kept smiling and they barely know shit about him

mistletoes are Forbidden ever since that first christmas they all spent together after oby jeggy had finally made it official and they . ended up under one and what started as a very cute very soft kiss ended up as a heavy make out session with reg up against the wall, legs around james' waist and them grinding against each other in front of . everyone

james doesn't do casual. when he says to reg that he hasn't had sex in a while . he actually means that he hasn't had sex in over year . since his last relationship in fact

the first person james told about reg is lily (who is his literal ex and to whom he was engaged to mind) since she's the only safe option

sirius finds out about the daddy thing . and once it's out peter weaponises the shit out of it whenever he needs something from james

"reg james is being stubborn about dinner and i feel like having pizza tonight could u maybe drop a 'daddy' and change his mind"

reg scowls and rolls his eyes and refuses to play along just to turn around and drop a 'daddy' whener it suits HIM

barty asks reg at some point about who other ppl he's fucking apart from james since they're technically only hooking up and reg has a fucking breakdown when he realises 1. he's only been fucking james for months and 2. they're not exclusive which means james Must be fucking other ppl

i've already mentioned their need to be constantly touching skin on skin which . brings me to my next point

in winter or . just when it's cold and reg is all bundled up in a scarf and gloves and touching turns a lot more difficult bc of all the layers . james grips him by the back of his neck

he just slips his hand under the scarf and they walk around + stand around like that (me and mil are so feral over this)

reg does top a lot more often than ppl might think (and i cannot wait to write it)

despite how much reg loves sucking cock, james doesn't let him do it that much bc he'd much rather spend the time eating him out

oby james has a bit of an oral fixation (all of my james do tbh) so he's never happy with eating reg out once or until he comes one time . he goes all out

reg and peter make bets about how long it'll take james and sirius to go back to normal once the secret is out (reg cheats and wins)

and i'm gonna shut up now bc this has already gotten . too long

#asks #anons #fic series: only by you

33 notes · View notes

ioncewished · 4 months

Text

Men's violence is so much worse than I thought. I was always scared of it and have never felt comfortable going outside, but I coped by saying it probably wouldn't happen, it's rare, it's far away.

If you want to change your view of men, check crime news any day. Just yesterday this was the first thing I found.

A man followed a woman out of a club, sexually assaulted her twice, pushed her to the ground, then raped her on the sidewalk.

I didn't look around for this. I didn't type in "scariest crimes, horrifying rapes." I didn't scroll through for 10 minutes trying to find one rare crime. This is right here, every day, happening so often.

Over the past year I participated a little bit in r/nametheproblem, and these are some of my posts. I didn't put any effort into finding these. Whenever I wanted to make a post, I'd go on the news, spend 10 seconds looking at the front page of the crime section, and post whatever scared me. There was always something. Every single day.

A man offered a woman a ride. He threatened to murder her if she screamed. He strangled her unconscious and masturbated on her. He pled guilty to felony assault & kidnapping, and received no jail time because the judge thinks he won't do it again. He will not be labelled a sex offender.

A woman was murdered in front of her three children by her husband, less than 24 hours after he was released with no bail for beating her. She was wearing a bullet proof vest so she would be safe from him while taking her kids to school. He crashed into her car, got out, and shot her.

Man stabbed his ex-girlfriend 9 times. Dismembered her corpse and lived in her apartment with her corpse for a month. He previously broke into her apartment and broke her legs and ribs. Violated restraining order. Her mom complained, "She’s gonna end up dead, please get her away from this building."

A woman was doused in gasoline and set on fire by her ex boyfriend. 90% of her body had 3rd degree burns. She had 59 surgeries and died of her injuries 2 years later. Her 13 year old daughter said, "While he got 11 years, my mum, my sister, and I all got a life sentence."

A man walked free from court after he poured vodka over his girlfriend and threatened to set her on fire. He murdered her two weeks later.

A man cut off his mother's head. His 6 year old nephew witnessed him "sawing at her neck." The man set her body and the entire house on fire with his nephew and two other toddlers inside. The children got themselves out and survived.

Man raped, beat, strangled, and waterboarded his girlfriend. He threatened to cut her veins with a knife and kill her. He threatened to kill her family. He arrived to visit her at her all-female university, and held her captive in her dorm room for 3 days.

Men's violence is not something that happens in another reality that has nothing to do with you. It's not rare. It's every single day. The most vicious and insane attacks by men that seem straight out of a horror movie. You don't have to look up "most horrific crimes ever" and scroll through 10 pages to find this. Look at the front page of crime news on any random Monday. Men are so casual in their evil.

#feminism #radical feminism #radfem #radblr #radical feminists do interact #misogny #male violence #women #violence against women #violence #crime #men #reddit #news

32 notes · View notes

littlewestern · 2 months

Note

For Silver and Black, any headcanons about the other engines at the IRM? I wonder if Pilot, 1630, and the electroliner get along since they’re the ‘faces’ of the museum. There’s also that Q Hudson, 504, 9925 and 9976. They probably all hang out as the Q club lol. I wonder if they like the BN units?

The IRM is practically a chronic and compulsive character designer's dream. I could spend the rest of my life making little guys out of their roster and probably not ever get bored, so you can bet DJ (@greatwesternway) and I have spent the past 13 months doing exactly that lol.

1630 was absolutely one of the first ones we worked on after Pilot, given that she's so iconic and important to the IRM. Engines with stories are far and away the easiest to write for, and 1630 has a great one. Plus, she's a face as you say! I like to characterize her as a bold and confident problem solver, especially having read some of the old Rail & Wires from the time period when she was undergoing restoration. Her first trial run went so well they had her pulling trains even though she was supposed to just be fired for testing, and that to me informs so much of her personality. She was ready to work from the jump! She's obviously besties with Shay 5, being that they've worked together for so many years, and I like to think they're sort of the de facto ambassadors for the steam department with the rest of the museum.

The Electroliner, I'm a little embarrassed to say, I only got around to learning about recently even though I was struck immediately by the design. I like to picture her as a more blue-collar version of the Zephyrs, streamlined and modern but still very much of the people. I haven't explored her history that much since we haven't gotten there in the letters yet, but I'm excited to learn more! I think she and Pilot get along really well, but that's sort of a given since Pilot gets along with everybody.

Some other characters at the IRM that get some play in the discussion are The Goddesses, who all have unique personalities and have been cropping up more frequently in the letters. We've also casually written some thoughts down about the other Pullman streamlined cars (Birmingham and Loch Sloy) as well as quite a few of the diesel shunters, since they're literally always out doing stuff at the IRM, and it's easy to fall in love with the engines that are constantly out there working. Our favorite so far is the Commonwealth Edison 15 shunter because he's grey and the last time I saw it out, it was switching the aforementioned Pullman cars around and @joezworld joked that he was going, "Look! I'm a streamliner!" and that has since become basically canon.

I don't have much for the Q steam engines although they're definitely on the list. I'm very interested in the BNs 1, 2, and 3 because I think their story is going to be interesting but I also haven't put much time in on their history yet. Since the museum's roster is so extensive (especially compared to the MSI), we've just been letting the stories inspire us as we learn about them organically. DJ's been adding new entries to the timeline from the IRM's photohistory book, and that alone has sewn some ideas we're definitely going to revisit later, if not in the letters than possibly in some other stories or just for our own amusement.

These questions are *so* good by the way, I'm absolutely loving being able to answer these! Thanks so much!

#tfissab behind the scenes #commonwealth edison 15 #frisco 1630 #shay 5 #irm #the goddesses #birmingham #loch sloy #the electroliner #asks #quite-a-character #the future is still silver and black #silver pilot

19 notes · View notes

fayes-fics · 2 years

Text

Moments: Chapters 5-6

Moments Masterpost

PREV | NEXT

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader

Summary: Slow-burn fic. Follow on to No Good Advice probably best to read that first. Read previous chapters of this fic here. In these chapters, the reader meets Violet, Daphne, and another important lady. Benedict and James paint together.

Word Count: 2.9k (these chapters only, 7.8k total for all chapters to date)

Warnings: none really - pining, fluff. Ratings/warnings will increase in future chapters.

Authors note: I expect there to be at least another 2 chapters, likely more. Thanks as ever to @makaylan for her fantastic betaing and advice. Couldn't do this without you lady <3

Chapter 5: Moments from a card game

You’re not sure what you expected of Lady Danbury’s married ladies' night, but this isn’t it. She had sent word for you to attend; you had expected cake and tea, not cigars, liquor and gambling. Not that you’re complaining. In fact, it’s just the ladies' evening you needed. It makes you realise how much you have missed the company of other women.

Lady Danbury encourages mixing, so you all swap tables during the evening; on one of those carousel moments, you end up next to Violet Bridgerton and her daughter Daphne Bassett. You recognise them from the miniatures you recall on Benedict’s desk as much as events of the Ton, not that you would admit to such.

After the usual polite greetings and expressions of sympathy for your loss, what strikes you most is their genuine warmth. You realise how much Benedict’s disposition is a family trait.

“I know your son from many years ago now,” you admit sheepishly at some point in the easy conversation.

“Oh, please don’t judge us on the Viscount,” Violet jokes, assuming it’s Anthony that you know.

“Actually, I meant Benedict,” you say quietly.

They both look genuinely surprised. Violet looks thoughtful.

“What was your name before marriage, did you say?” She enquires.

“Err, I didn’t. It was y/l/n” you reply intrigued by her line of questioning.

You could swear something akin to a lightbulb goes off behind Violet's eyes, but she says nothing.

“You simply must come a few days early for our country visit,” Daphne insists.

“Definitely!” Violet affirms, “We always like to invite a few select people a couple of days early to enjoy the peace and quiet before the Ton descends.”

“And your son can spend time with little Aubrey,” Daphne adds gleefully, “it would be so great for him to have someone close to his age to play with!”

“Well, if you insist,” you demure, your thoughts already moving to the obvious. Your heart leaps at the thought of Benedict among his family-you ache to see it.

“Will the whole family be there?” you inquire, attempting for casual.

“Oh yes, all eight of my children and their families gather. It’s a non-optional tradition,” Violet winks with a laugh.

She has no idea how significant that phrasing is. She has another grandchild she has no idea about. And he’ll be accompanying you. Suddenly the thought of it somehow coming out gives you a spike of nausea. You have no idea if Benedict even wants you or James there. Perhaps accepting the invitation was the worst idea possible. Before you have a chance to amend your answer, the carousel goes on.

“Time to move tables, ladies!” Mrs Danburys announces with a raised glass, a raised eyebrow and a flick of her wrists.

You bid farewells to the Bridgerton ladies and reluctantly move tables. You find yourself sitting next to an elegant woman about your age. She looks familiar, but you can’t place why or where from.

“I’m, Miss Elliott,” she introduces herself with a friendly smile “let's enjoy frittering away some money, shall we, Mrs..?”

“Darby,” you grin. “But I suppose, well, it was, Mrs. Not sure now, to be honest. I’m now a widow.”

“Oh, I'm sorry.”

“Thanks, it's been a few months now. Wait, a Miss? I thought tonight was for married ladies only.”

“Lady Danbury makes exceptions for close family friends on occasion,” she winks conspiratorially. “Let’s play!”

After losing a round, then winning a round - and a few too many brandies - you figure it's probably a good time to stop gambling.

“What was married life like for you, if you don't mind me asking?” Miss Elliott turns to you, her voice now a touch slurred.

“It was… good. I married a good man, a family friend, and he was a great father,” you answer politely.

“Did you love him?” her question so abrupt.

“In a way, yes, he was my best friend. Why do you ask? Are you thinking of marrying yourself?” it's your turn to be inappropriately nosey, the alcohol lowering your inhibitions.

“Yes. But not for love. For convenience,” she adds.

“Why would you do that?” You are genuinely curious.

“His heart and mine both belong to others; it seems like a neat solution.” She is matter-of-fact in her summation.

“The love I share is outside the bounds of what is acceptable in society,” she says, her eyes meeting those of a beautiful young woman at another table, “but is no less real or passionate.”

You understand the pain she must feel. It must be awful not to be free to openly love who you want to love.

“I am so sorry that is the case; I can’t imagine. If you don’t mind me asking, who is this man you speak of? The one you have the arrangement to marry with?” You are tipsily just straight up fishing for knowledge of the Ton. You've missed being a part of a social circuit. It's a crude version of entertainment, but you are genuinely curious who would possibly be willing to marry in such circumstances?

“The second son of an illustrious family. He’s an artist.”

Suddenly all you can hear is a rush of blood in your head.

“Are you speaking of Benedict Bridgerton?” You hedge, slightly breathless.

“The very one!” She exclaims as if relieved she didn’t have to reveal the name herself.

All you can hear echoing around and around in your head is her earlier line - his heart and mine belong to others. His heart belongs to another. Another. A dangerous sliver of hope in you cracks open a little.

“Did he ever tell you about the person to who his heart belongs?” You venture, attempting casual for the second time this evening, but your heart is in your throat.

She shrugs. “Only that she was forced to marry her childhood friend many years ago. So he decided an arrangement where he faces no more scrutiny as to why he is still a bachelor preferable to finding a love match that would ultimately prove inferior.”

You grip the table hard—so many revelations in one sentence. You suddenly recall where you remember her from—The Danbury Ball; she was the woman on Benedict’s arm.

“Are you already engaged?” you inquire.

“No, not yet. We have discussed it, but just the other evening, after the ball, he asked for a little more time to decide. Which is understandable; it's a big commitment.”

She seems so practical and down-to-earth about the whole situation you can't help but admire her strength, even as your emotions spiral around you. Benedict is willing to enter a marriage of convenience selflessly to give this woman the freedom to be with her love and to ensure his heart is never with another. He was and likely still is in love with you. You suspected it, but neither of you ever had the strength to vocalise it - knowing it would not change your fate at the time. Now, if he still feels the same, you daren’t even think about what could be possible.

As soon as you get home, you send a note to him, emboldened by brandy. Please do visit and paint with James whenever you can. The urge to add I love you burns brightly in your chest, but you resist committing it to paper even in your intoxicated state.

Chapter 6: Moments from a garden

Benedict turns up the next day, barely as you’ve finished breakfast. It’s a lovely sunny London summer day already.

“Y/n,” his voice is warm and makes your spine tingle. The fact you have already dropped formal names again makes you inordinately happy. The urge to walk up and embrace him in greeting is so strong you have to grip the chair arms to avoid moving.

The revelations from Lady Danbury’s card night ring strong in your ears - he is willing to sacrifice finding a true love match as he believes himself incapable of moving on. From you. And now he knows he’s a father to your son. You invite him to spend time together, and he turns up less than ten hours later. The ties that bind you are so much tighter than you ever could have imagined could have hoped.

“Benedict!” James' face lights up, dropping his toy train. “Did you come to paint today?” He positively rocks back and forth with excitement at the idea.

“Yes, James, I have!” Benedict smiles indulgently. “Shall we set up in the garden? I think it’s a lovely day to paint some flowers.”

“Brilliant!”‘James peels with enthusiasm as Benedict nods to his valet carrying his easel and supplies, who moves ahead towards your garden.

James springs up from his toys and runs to Benedict, grabbing his hand on instinct, always so free with his affections.

Your heart skips a beat at the sight of them together, holding hands, almost a silhouette against the intense sun beaming in through the French doors.

You watch as Benedict freezes, and a look of something so meaningful washes over his face. You see him swallow heavy like it’s challenging to do so. James has no clue about the significance of his simple action - grabbing his father’s hand for the first time.

Benedict’s gaze moves to you, and your heart clenches harder. His gaze is soft and questioning, silently asking if this is acceptable. You smile indulgently and nod; it is one thousand times more than okay.

“Right, lead the way outside, James,” Benedict says, looking down with a smile.

James starts marching onwards but suddenly turns back, not letting go of Benedict’s hand.

“Mama, are you not coming too?” He asks.

“Oh, it’s okay, love, you spend time with Benedict. He can teach you amazing things about art; I would just be in the way.”

“You would not be in the way,” Benedict replied far too quickly; James twists to look up at him.

“Yes, Mama come with us” James looks back over to you, and he stretches his other hand towards you, waggling his fingers in a come hither motion.

So you close your book and walk over to them, letting James slip his free hand into yours. The reflection of you three in the door glass holding hands like a family stares back at you. It’s something you did countless times with John without thought. This feels so significant your chest feels tight.

You move your gaze from your joined hands, over your son, to Benedict. He is looking at you in a way that knocks you off your axis. If the eyes are the window to the soul, his soul is endless. You can’t look away. Butterfly under glass yet again.

“Mama, why are you staring at Benedict?” James' voice cuts in, “you always told me it’s rude to stare.”

Never a truer word than from the mouth of babes.

You cast your eyes down, suitably called out by your son; you know your cheeks are aflame. Benedict chuckles.

“Don’t worry, James, she wasn’t being rude. I was just talking to your mummy silently in a way only she could hear.” Benedict assures him, squeezing his hand gently.

Your heart aches. Actually aches.

“Can we go paint now? James asks with a slight whine in his voice, reaching his limit of dealing with adults.

“Yes, my love,” you reply soothingly and hold on tight as his little legs move fast, dragging you along and out the door. James walks ahead, and your shoulder bumps Benedict’s as James pulls you behind him through the narrow doorway.

You chuckle as Benedict bumps your shoulder again, even though you’re now out on the expanse of the sunny patio. You daren't look up at his face, so you smile in profile while surveying your gardens.

“Where are you going to set up, my darling boys?” You ask, not realising you used the plural.

“Hmm, I think right over there would be perfect,” Benedict replies after a pause of looking at you, pointing to the shade under an old oak tree next to your rose garden. His valet goes to set up his easel as yours emerges from the house carrying James’s easel and follows suit.

James lets go of your hands, running on ahead. You stroll next to Benedict, itching to take his hand instead.

“Thank you for coming to spend time with him,” you say quietly.

“I meant what I said the other day,” he replies, almost solemnly.

Your knuckles brush as you walk in sync; it makes your breath hitch. Which frankly seems ridiculous, considering you’ve already spent hours entwined naked, albeit years ago. But somehow, this seems more significant. Your past always had an expiry date; this feels like something new, different, and more meaningful.

“But still, thank you. It means a lot to James to have someone to paint with.”

“I will always make time for James; please know that. Regardless of where life takes any of us,” he vows.

“You’ve adjusted so well to such a huge revelation that well, James exists,” you whisper the last part.

“I suppose I’ve thought about it so much over the years; it didn’t seem that much of a shock, to be honest,” he says ponderously.

“That you already had a child?”

“That I might be a father someday,” he clarifies. “Yes, circumstances are not how I pictured it, but I’m very much looking forward to this adventure with James. And well you….” his smile is bashful but genuine. It warms you more than the sun does.

You spend the morning sitting under the cooling shade of the ancient oak, watching the boys paint. Benedict encouraging James’ creative choices, never telling him what to do, just giving guidance.

“How do I make that colour?” James asks at one point, pointing at a purple iris.

“So that is purple, James. Take a dab of that blue there,” Benedict leans over and points with the far end of his paintbrush, “and that red there. And mix them at the end of your palette like this,” Benedict demonstrates.

James copies him, and his face breaks into a smile as the blob of paint turns purple.

“Look, Mama,” he exclaims, holding out his palette for your perusal, “I made a new colour!”

“Well done, love,” you praise, smiling at them both.

“What other colours can I make?” James asks Benedict excitedly.

“Let's paint the flower first; then we can make some others,” Benedict guides, already taking on a parental air. “I promise to show you all the colours, James,” he adds, the more profound meaning not lost on you.

“Your mother invited me early to Aubrey Hall,” you mention as you watch as James paints a beautiful child’s version of the iris. You already know you will frame this canvas; if nothing else, it will be a reminder of this already memorable day. “I accepted but then realised I should have checked with you first. I'm more than happy to pretend I have an alternate engagement that I had forgotten.”

“Don't be ridiculous,” he chides without heat. “It will be wonderful to have you and James there early; you will get a chance to meet all of the family properly. They will be so excited to meet James.”

“You want to tell them? The truth?” you don't even attempt to mask the incredulity in your voice.

“Of course I do,” he responds fiercely. “They will be delighted.”

“But the circumstances…,” you trail off. “Surely, there will be judgement. Maybe not of you, but me.”

“Do you honestly think my family doesn't know our whole story?” he responds with a raised eyebrow.

“N..no?” you equivocate.

“Well, they do,” he shrugs. “And believe me. This will be taken as nothing but good news. Besides, look at him. They will take a glance and know instantly, just as I did. James IS me; there are miniatures of me at his age, and you wouldn't be able to tell us apart.” He looks so proud; you almost want to roll your eyes.

“Then we will be there Thursday” you smile, and he nods happily.

“James,” he turns his attention back to your son. “Grab a new clean little brush. I could use your help. Great, now put some white paint on it.” You watch as James’ rapt attention pings between Benedict and the tasks he asks James to do. “Excellent! Now you see this corner here, please can you place a few white streaks? Right here.” Benedict gestures at the edge of a flower petal.

James dips under Benedict's arm and stands between his legs, a little tongue poking out as he holds out his paintbrush. “I don't want to hurt your nice picture,” he admits quietly.

Benedict leans in, his hand closing around James’ on the brush. “Don't worry, James, you could never do that. Anything you think is wrong is just a chance to try something new,” he assures gently, guiding James’ brush gently over the area. “There, you see? That adds a little glimmer to the petal, so it's shining in the sunshine. Well done. Look at your fantastic handiwork.” He praises and, without thought, leans in and kisses James' temple affectionately. If James is surprised by the action, it doesn't show on his face; he just accepts the gesture naturally with a smile, still looking at the painting proudly.

You subtly lean your head on your hand to wipe away a tear at the corner of your eye.

#benedict bridgerton fanfiction #benedict bridgerton fluff #benedict bridgerton x reader #benedict bridgerton x female reader #benedict bridgerton x you #benedict bridgerton x y/n #benedict bridgerton imagine #benedict bridgerton #bridgerton fanfiction #bridgerton imagine #bridgerton

479 notes · View notes