#and klforpresident really

[butmakeitgayblog]

Buddy, I’m gonna need you to share my pain with everyone else. I cannot go through this alone 😭

Cue Taylor Swift.

For the record, you did this

You did.

By sending me TS's Soon You'll Get Better, which I had never even heard. And considering the honeymoon snippet you'd think you woulda seen it coming

This baby girl right here?

Right here?

This is Lexa who has completely stopped running from it.

Her illness causes bruising. That's just a fact of Lexa's life. It's what she wakes up to every morning and what she sees in the mirror before bed every night. It's something she'd gotten so used to working to cover up that by the time Clarke started coming around, it kind of didn't occur to her what would happen when or if she eventually couldn't keep them hidden anymore.

Or if she'd even want to hide them from her at all.

The first time they sleep together is when Clarke sees the full extent of it and, oh, Lexa practically shakes with how nervous it makes her. Because yes, she knows Clarke is attracted to her, and yes, Clarke has always been nothing but gentle with her, treating her like she's something precious rather than something broken that could crumble if held too firmly in her grasp. But it's another thing entirely to be laid so bare. To have every one on every rib stand out against the paleness of her skin. To see Clarke's eyes trace the peppering of them across her shoulders, her hipbone. Across her breasts, belly, and the dips of her thighs.

But Clarke kisses them with unwavering reverence. Not as though Lexa's delicate for them, but as though she loves those broken parts of Lexa every bit as as she loves the supple, unmarred skin around them. As though they're nothing more than pieces of Lexa's perfectly beautiful whole.

That's something Lexa didn't even know she needed until she had it. That feeling of Clarke cupping her face and nuzzling close. Breathing her in. Kissing her temples and cheeks. Taking on Lexa's burden as her own. That feeling of Clarke accepting her exactly as she is in her illness. Not despite it.

And that never changes. Not once when they're close or being intimate does Clarke treat her as anything other than just Lexa, the woman she loves. Not physically, not emotionally.

Which is how Lexa prefers it.

She prefers it on the bad days, when she can't even stand the sight of food and keeping down water feels like a herculean feat. On the days when she barely recognizes herself in the mirror amid the splotches of purple, yellow, and faded blue, Clarke still looks at her like she's nothing less than precious. And on the days when Lexa can't do anything beyond laying in bed drifting in and out of sleep, she appreciates the fact that Clarke will just slip under the covers beside her and snuggle up like that was always what she'd had planned for the day.

Because it's in those moments that Lexa can pretend.

They'll lay in her bed, usually naked and practically wrapped around each other, Clarke obviously boiling under Lexa's 4 insulated comforters... but she never complains. She just lays on her back and coaxes Lexa's head onto her chest, running her fingers through Lexa's hair and reverently kissing every bruise within reach. Humming with every kiss she faithfully returns in kind across the full swell of Clarke's breasts. (Forever a boob girl.)

And they take turns talking about what they're gonna do together "when this is all over" and seal every one with a lie-sweetened kiss. They make plans to visit the grand canyon and camp under the stars and shout to wide open sky till their lungs burn. They plan summers in Europe just to kiss under the Eiffel Tower and argue about wintery holidays split between the tropics and begrudging trips back home. They make plans to find the hidden sanctuary of some long forgotten waterfall to make love under and swear to dip their toes into the shores of every ocean.

They plan a lifetime's worth of moments in that quiet safety they find in Lexa's bed. Plans for a future life filled with all their love and all the pieces of the world they're gonna conquer together, someday.

Just as soon as Lexa gets better....