#and like i dont even want to think about the accounting (probably non existent)

[gil-estel]

nothing pisses me off more than people praised for ~doing something amazing~ when the actual product is mediocre and the only reason they had to work so hard is because they failed to properly delegate.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Could you possibly write about slenderman's ghost s/o trying to make the mansion festive for Halloween bc they're really excited for the holiday and never experienced it before? They have a list and everything as soon as they learn about the custom-

For instance, every room is decked out in decor totally not stolen, they make loads of themed treats, and try to engage the him and the proxies into doing multiple festive activities as well?

-slender anon <3 (sorry if this is too much exposition, tysm for all the cool writing)

Celebrating Halloween w/ Slenderman!

so so sorry for taking a a bit to get to this !! I meant to get this out tomorrow but I got distracted </3 still torn on if i want the mansion to exist in my au but for all intents and purposes we'll say it does for this >:) i might make the mansion like, some abandoned creepy haunted house in universe, like the house from IT or Nightmare on Elm Street (i actually... dont remember if it gets abandoned or not in the later movies, its been a while since i watched the series..) or something something yeah i think ill go with that for the mansion anyways enough rambling

Cue curious head tilts and questions from slenderman, he knows OF Halloween but he doesnt know all the ins and outs and intricacies when it comes to how its celebrated; best he knows is costumes and candy

initially watches you try to hang up all the decorations by yourself but eventually steps in to give you a hand

probably consults in you what basic Halloween traditions are, and probably also tries to ask the proxies if they know anything about it

i think outside of toby, the proxies don't really. remember much of their lives before becoming proxies, but that's because I'm basing my take on them off of the original MH where like, there's brain fog and the proxy/person are internally separate, but that's where inspiration from the original stuff ends; merging two fandoms together is. hard when the canon and fanon are so different

anyways

but also i never really like the creepypasta interpretation of masky and hoodie, at least from when i was in the fandom years back where they were shy and soft, but thats likely changed now- admittedly i dont interact with the fandom outside of creating

im rambling again, but i think masky and hoodie would also be a little lost but ready to do whatever they're told to do in regards to helping deck out the mansion

good news is that the mansion already looks like a spooky haunted house! especially on the outside since it's not as well kept as the inside

the inside is like what comes to mind when someone says old ass house; creaky wooden floors, shitty heating system, crawl spaces and compartments, that sort of thing. old enough that it would definitely have mold and rot, and be falling apart, if slenderman didnt come and keep it in tact

again, it already looks spooky enough as is, but decorations can really tie in the look

fake cobwebs, skeletons, spiders

oh those are real spiders

the mansion probably has spiders, slenderman cant do anything about the spiders sorry

okay anyways

treats! totally not stolen from some store by a teleporting entity that naturally distorts electronics! definitely not

he would make them with you, i think

i sometimes think about how slenderman would probably like calm and quiet activities, domestic ones included, so i think this is something he would actually end up loving especially with you around

learns he hates working with melted marshmallow, that shit is not banned from the mansion as well as marshmallow creme

he even gets those cute little halloween themed goodie bags so you can give them out

unfortunately he's going to have to pass, on account that he can't really eat any non-human meat food, but rest assured if he could safely eat your treats he would

Toby would be fucking that shit up, especially if you make those popcorn ball things. i feel like toby would love those. masky to me seems like a butterscotch haystack enjoyer to me (based), while hoodie fucks up those chocolate dipped pretzels, you know the ones that get decorated to look like mummies? those. he demolishes those (also based)

i kinda miss the popcorn balls tbh i havent had those in years but they were good from what i remember- i think i might make some this evening

moving on once more

if there's any extras slenderman may offer to take you around to give them to others

im still deciding character dynamics and relationships and who knows who in this funky au, but i feel like slenderman knows at least a handful of the other character. at least on a first name basis

so thats fun! you also get to share the joy with characters such as splendor and trender, and perhaps even jeff. i hc that eyeless jack and slender are both in the same forest but not like. buddy buddy. but he can get goodies too. ignore the fact jack is in the same boat as slender in terms of what he can and cant eat- he appreciates the gesture

now activities! i gotta admit i never really did halloween stuff outside of trick or treating; so im a little stumped on ideas

theres the obvious, pumpkin carving (the pumpkin insides get used to make more treats!), apple bobbing, and a few others

while not really a halloween game, you guys probably play a few games in the woods

thats

wait no thats terrifying, do not play hide and seek/tag with them in the woods regardless of if its night time and regardless of if youre a ghost, that shit actually sounds terrifying esp since i think slenderman and hoodie would get WAY TOO competitive

oh scary stories

definately

you insist on summoning ghosts and demons to fit the vibe

" but Dear, you're a gho-" "hush"

you guys accidentally summon one of the ghost creepypastas or something/j

you guys accidentally summon zalgo and halloween gets cancelled'j

idk if this is just a me thing but whenever me and my friends sit down to read creepypasta stories we get derailed and somehow end up reading fanfics and acting them out but i can see this happening as well; though this one also isnt a halloween exclusive activity

overall its a learning experience for most of you guys, and slenderman is totally up to humoring you again next year!

oh oh oh halloween costumes, how could i forget?

good luck trying to find something for slenderman, even if he could fit in anything he probably wouldnt dress up no matter how you try to word it

actually now that i think of it, do you think his suit is just part of his body? like ive seen loads of interpretations where it is; the shitty slenderman movie included. like is it a removeable suit? is it something that looks like a suit but its part of him? is it like a scp 049 situation where it is a suit but its attached to him?

im not getting into that today

masky and toby both dress up as classic slasher icons

hoodie probably would too but i got flashed with a vision of him dressed as pumpkin so im rolling with it

i think thats about everything! i hope you like this! this ended up way longer than i thought it would be but i fully blame that on me still being in my ramble mindset </3 ive been cooking up some major hcs for my au/interpretation as well as smaller stuff so my brain just wants to dump it TToTT

anyways

runs off to go draw spooky stuff (cough cough creepypastas dressed up in costumes)

[visible-artist]

(rant)

hi. so it’s been two..three..years, i think? holy shit. the person who’s reading this probably has no idea who i am, and thats fine, i just need to let this out.

tbh i’ve just suddenly remembered this account after procrastinating on my assignment by rewatching every sanders sides video after not engaging with the media for since i left.

ok jk i think about this account every day, i also think about my deleted instagram account that i deactivated after reaching an art block everyday. (it seemed like a good idea at a time, but now i’m devastated, i was literally at my peak at the time, and thomas himself had been following me, but oh well) lesson learned: i’m never giving into art block ever again.

but as for the reason for my art block… it was this. i don’t even remember anything anymore from that era but i did remember having an inconsistent schedule and using all the energy i had when i had it, which is INSANE —because i was only fourteen. the upside had been my skills increasing a drastic amount, but i literally couldn’t bring myself to post anything anymore and my motivation for drawing was practically non existent. (FOR TWO YEARS)

obviously there were many factors that added to my art block, but i guess this had been the main one. what’s ironic is that the thing that morivated me to start posting again was finding my old fanart from this account (i popped off ngl, almost got emotional) i may not have gotten a shit ton of following or interactions, but just seeing the amount of creativity and passion i had made my month. (and I needed this, so much)

this post is kind of a mess… i’m honestly just typing what’s on my mind right now. i just really missed this account. and i’ve started a new one on ig: @kozuwinx for anyone who wants to support me there, i would really appreciate it.

i dont know if i’ll start becoming active on this account, i’m getting pretty busy with school now too, and i don’t want another replay of burnout…still, i’m so grateful for everyone who supported me here, even if those who did probably don’t remember me now. (and i won’t blame them tbh.)

i just wanted to say thank you i guess, and share this story to anyone who might be struggling with the same thing. i don’t know how to end this but this is it. love ya all ✌🏼

[ember-amber]

I'm subscribed to a lot of channels on youtube, channels of people that i found funny at the time of subscribing and wanted to see more of. When someone doesnt post for long enough i forget about them completely.

It feels a bit sad sometimes when a channel has such a non existant upload schedule that by the time they release their next video I have forgotten them and don't even find their content that entertaining anymore,so i just unsubscribe having watched so few videos of them.

Not anyone's fault of course, life gets in the way and they owe nobody. Just feels a bit saddening. They post a high effort video after 3 years of hiatus and the only reaction i can produce is just "ah right i was subscribed to this guy....eh... dont think i like this kind of content anymore, unsub"

This reminds me that i probably should post some art to my other accounts, its been a while.

[oldreadingnia]

about➵me

uh this is an inspirational quote. i didn't like my old one.

hi there! i'm nia!

i'm a simp for non-existing men, so i like to read about them! and me! together!

long story short: i read a lot of x reader fanfics.

this blog was supposedly for me to comment and interact with my favorite content creators without being anonymous, until i figured out that i needed an email to make literally an alternate account with an alternate email. i didn't want to do that, so now i'm spitting out fanfic ideas of my own.

i have some experience with writing stories, but they're not great. if you ever see a fanfic or oneshot of mine and you're like: "wow. this sucks." that would be why.

i love games, art, anime, cooking, anime, anime, vocaloid, anime, okay you get the point. i also love humor, so try and read my non-story blogs with a sarcastic tone of voice.

also, i dont think im gonna make this a proper, fancy blog. even though i love designing things, i'm gonna make this about me shitty. also i swear a lot. yes i do.

fandoms/content i might write for:

♡ blue lock

♡ hatsune miku: colorful stage! project sekai

♡ bungo stray dogs

♡ hoyoverse - all games

♡ saiki k

idk i think thats all i need to add lol. if anyone wants to follow me anyways. im pretty inconsistent and i do what i want so this will probably never grow big.

[spacelazarwolf]

I still dont quite understand the idea of trans men not having male privilege? you can be oppressed for being trans and still be a Guy. im just confused bc , at least In My Personal Experience, ive been treated better since I transitioned, and I dont see how one cancels out the other

sorry if this is rambly or disrespectful at all, im just Confused

i think it's important to differentiate privilege from conditional safety. privilege is something that cannot be revoked (or can only be revoked under certain extreme or specific circumstances, like an able bodied person becoming disabled), something most people don't even realize they have until they examine themselves. conditional safety is something you are painfully aware of and try very hard to maintain, because it is something that can be revoked. it's also something that still doesn't grant you all the benefits of privilege.

both privilege and conditional safety are things that should be acknowledged by those who have it because there are many people who don't have either, but the lived realities of someone with privilege and the lived realities of someone with conditional safety are going to be extremely different.

a non trans example:

a white person, a white jewish person, a black person, and a white supremacist are working in the same office. the lived realities of the first three people will probably look something like this

white person: objects to the presence of the white supremacist but can choose whether or not to engage with them and doesn't fear for their safety.

white jewish person: cannot choose whether or not to engage with the white supremacist because their safety is at risk. will likely have to actively hide the fact they're jewish or risk potential violence (this happened to a white jewish friend of mine. she was working in a lab, someone else working there was a white supremacist, and when he found out she was jewish he started stalking her and sending her death threats and eventually came to her home and she had to move).

black person: is immediately unsafe and at risk of potential violence.

is the white jewish person objectively safer than the black person because they're able to hide their jewishness while the black person can't hide their blackness? absolutely.

is the white person objectively safer than the white jewish person because they don't have to deal with the psychological toll of being in hiding and constantly fearing violence? absolutely.

two other issues i have with the "do trans men have male privilege" discussion are that 1. that assumes that every trans man is passing, can pass, or wants to pass, and 2. it lacks intersectionality. when i was looking up examples of male privilege for my post, almost all of them were entirely based in able bodied cishetallo white manhood. one example often given is "men make more than women", but that doesn't take into account the fact that black men only make marginally more than white women while facing more job discrimination and economic disparity. examples that rely on sexuality or sex assigned at birth don't take into account queer and trans men. examples about respect at work don't take into account race or disability.

and the fact is, these things cannot be taken apart and looked at through one lens at a time, because black men have to exist as black and as men at the same time. disabled men have to exist as disabled and men at the same time. trans men have to exist as trans and men at the same time. queer men have to exist as queer and men at the same time. in a world where the ideal man is an abled cishetallo white man, men who are not that do not have the luxury of compartmentalizing.

in conclusion, can some trans men achieve conditional safety by passing and going stealth? absolutely. in this current climate where true male privilege is really only granted to able bodied cishetallo white men, can trans men achieve male privilege? imo, no.

[svtinq]

highschool headcanons (4NEMO ver.) pt.2

venti

the most chaotic bitch in the whole school

has pulled the chair on the teacher, found their facebook account and blackmailed them with the info he knows about their dark past

triple threat - threat to the society, the students and the teachers

went to a private boys primary school and played the female lead, he bagged a lot of guys 

childhood friends with xiao, picked him up while they were both ditching school

still hasn’t hit puberty, claims his balls dropped tho

100% sells fake elevator passes and his old homework to freshman

oh boy this guy is partying EVERY NIGHT

hangs with the druggies so everyone has no idea if he’s high or just himself..

sings choir and has crazy range. Can sing soprano 2 on a good day

comes to school tired on caffeine or high no in between, regardless he has the most chaotic and crazy energy

everyone knows of him theres not one soul who hasn’t heard his name

that “gay” friend in a whole group of girls - w/ the drama kids

attention span is non existent

life of the party

xiao

he has a whole fanclub at school comprised of twilight fans, mafia wattpad readers and degenerates that are too scared shy to talk to him

did lil’huddy before lil’ huddy, the og emo

hangs with the art/drama kids

babysits venti (they went to the same primary school) although he claims to hate him 

venti and aether are the only ones he tolerates

played the second male lead in the primary school play, let’s say xiao found himself a little too in character...

you can find him in every classroom occupying the chair at the back left side next to the window

he is never listening in class, but you can find him doodling or writing song lyrics instead

wears eyeliner. don’t fight me this is literally true

very intimidating and sexy aura

wears a grungy and alternative style, headphones on like 24/7

probably plays guitar with a band outside of school

kinda mean ngl and unapproachable 

on the track team

aether

wanted that chill and peaceful freshman experience

childhood friends with kaeya and childe aka two of the most well-known guys in the whole area, so no that lowkey life was not happening

has senior girls come up to him asking about them ALL the time

also known as lumine’s twin, who is very popular with the guys.. he’s swatting them like flies.

popular but not through intent

that cutscene at the start of the game where he reaches his arm out for his sister? It be like that everyday in the hallway when the guys just “pick her up” and run away

unbothered and annoyed 24/7

joined the track team w/ lumine and met xiao there

in the photography club, don’t ask it just makes sense

afterschool he kind of just dissapears?

is friends with everyone, but still decides to sit with the nerds

good grades 

kazuha

won the school talent show by reading a haikku

everyone loves him DONT EVEN - if childes the golden boy, kazuha’s like the golden..dog. 

turns straight ppl gay

the time he got told off for his dyed hair he turned around to look at the teacher and she started crying at his beauty

probs friends with zhongli ngl.. they kind of just live in the school library.

lands the role when the school does shakespeare

this boys vocabulary is so THick absolutely no clue what he’s talking about

nose in a book whenever you see him

shortest guy on the basketball team, smart and athletic

i think his basketball mates would like lift him up to help him dunk LMAO

in the student council

ik just KNOW he has the prettiest handwriting and notes

the rule simply is don’t fuck with him, because although he could handle you on his own, he has the whole basketball team as his self proclaimed dads

[is-that-another-soulmate-au]

Zuko says fuck all of you, this war is stupid, your bending elitism is stupid, I'm gonna end your stupid existence with sheer spite and teenage angst

>If He Used His Strength<

"Maybe you'd like one to match!" Zuko snapped at Zhao

"Is that a challenge?" The irritating older man sounded all too cocky

"An Agni Kai, at sunset" he glared daggers at the man who just so happened to agree to the duel

Once Zuko used a move outside of his firebending the match was over quickly. He easily broke Zhao's root, kicking flames only at his feet until he fell back. He stood over him with a dark stare. He was tired of this. Tired of running around. Tired of chasing a twelve year old boy. Tired of tirelessly searching for the love of a terrible father. Tired of the war. He was done with it. And he had the power to end it. Not the fire power per say. But the ability to fight against and overpower multiple benders without ever lighting a spark himself

"DO IT!" Zhao spat at him

Zuko let out a loud growled shout and punched the ground right next to Zhao's head with a bright flame exploding from it. "This war is over. I beat you. And I'll beat him. I dont need fire to take you down."

"Wha-"

"So far your biggest enemies have been a twelve year old monk and a sixteen year old boy with trauma. So save your questions for your prison cell you cocky piece of trash" and with that he spit in his face and made a flip off of him and to Iroh. "Lets go"

"What do you plan to do prince Zuko?" Iroh asked in a confused tone

"Im going to end the war"

And with that they were off leaving Zhao to stand up and look down at the indent in the ground from where Zuko punched. A dent in the solid ground. "Send a warning to the firelord. He has company coming, and its not going to be petty" Zhao said as he came to the realization that if Zuko had actually landed that punch on his head he would have died on impact.

About two days later he was stopped in a small port town to grab some supplies and he ran into Aang who rightfully went into defense mode but he held up his hand "I'm only here to restock before I go fight my dad"

"What"

"Im done trying to please the bastard, he's terrible and this war is terrible, everyone in the firenation thinks fire is the best but it just sucks." Zuko shrugged "so I'm gonna go fight him and take the throne so I can end this stupid war"

"Oh... are you serious?"

"Of course I'm serious, who do you think burnt my face? Of course I wanna fight him" Zuko waved to Iroh who was coming up to the pair with a bag of rations

"Oh, hello Avatar, sorry to run into you again" he apologized with a bow "Zuko came to some realizations and-"

"He already told me, hey, if you want to fight the firelord and you're serious about it, I can go talk to my friends about it and we can give you a lift on Appa and you'll get their quicker"

"Alright, we'll be on the port until sunset, if you come before then to get me then I'll come with you, if not, I'm sailing there"

Meanwhile the gaang were camped out when Aang came running in with what seemed to be confused excitement "guys, Zuko's gonna end the war"

Katara and Sokka looked up from the map that Sokka was holding "what thats insane, We're going to end the war, that's why you're training. Besides Zuko is our enemy and part of the firenation. Why would he end the war? And how would he even?"

"Okay, maybe I should have been more clear. Zuko is fed up with the war, and he's on his way to fist fight dad and end the war"

"Okay.. this... this I gotta see, we should find him and give him a lift."

"Funny you say that, he's in town and I offered him a ride"

After Aang went to go get Zuko and Iroh they made a walk towards the camp where the group started asking him questions to be certain he wasn't just trying to trick them and also to figure out how in the hell he hopes to do this.

"So. You want to go... fist fight your dad?"

"Uh, well, that's not exactly how I'd word it"

"Why not use your fire bending?"

Zuko let out a long sigh "alright, let me give you guys a run down on the fire nation okay? First of all, firebending is seen as the only form of actual power. Any non benders or late benders are seen as weaker and often times are. But they hold bending on such a high pedestal that most benders never take the time to master anything else. They don't practice any other form of fighting, let alone any other sort of strength training.

"I was a late bender so my bending is weaker than most. But I've taken the time to train with swords and multiple different fighting styles. I can easily break a solid steel chain with my foot in a shoe and I can break solid wood with my bare feet." He took a second to look around at the group "while I havent attempted it, I could probably crush someone's skull as well if we're taking into account of the two other things I know for a fact that I can break"

The group looked at eachother with terrified expressions "Zuko holy shit, you could have killed me at the south pole"

"Yeah, but I have control over the amount of force in each kick, and I wasnt trying to kill you... you were just in my way"

"Alright, well, I'm convinced, lets go"

And with that they were off, Zuko agreeing to have the group help him if he needed it. Iroh decided to teach Zuko how to redirect lightning on their journey incase he needed it.. When they landed Ozai was already outside prepared, having gotten the letter a day before and hearing that the bison had been spotted.

Jumping off of Appa Zuko and Ozai stared eachother down "Zuko"

"Father," Zuko narrowed his eyes "I challenge you to an Agni Kai. But. By your honor and mine. You and I are only able to use fire once during the battle. If you can defeat me with only one fire attack, then you can keep up with your stupid war. But. If I defeat you with the same limits then I take the throne" motioning his hand forward he continued "do we have a deal"

Ozai gave him a cold glare "you truly are pathetic," glancing at the avatar on the bison he gave in "deal"

The fight didn't last long, Ozai had already used fire within the first few seconds and Zuko took the low ground beneath it as a means of attacking. Running low and sliding between the older man's legs only to come up behind him and land a quick kick against his side. Sending him to the ground where Zuko took his advantage point to lift his leg up and slam it down directly on the man's chest.

A loud crack could be heard throughout the courtyard. A few broken ribs and probably some fatal internal bleeding kept Ozai on the ground. Zuko turned to the firenation officials who came to witness the fight. "This war is over. Go cry a river if you oppose its end."

"That was a cheat!" Someone in the crowd shouted

"How so?" He mocked back "it was a duel, I used only what I have and no extra weapons, I set a single extra rule and followed it to the extreme." Tilting his head he gave an irritated grin "would you like to fight against me with the same rules? I'm more than happy to give another show if you'd like"

The crowd had no other objections after that. Funny how that happened. Azula came bounding out into the courtyard, probably ready to see Zuko down but was instead met by the scene of Zuko standing over Ozai victorious.

"You- actually won?"

"I didnt use fire Azula, wanna try your hand?" He made a move to get into a fighting stance but instead was met by her running up to him with her arms open for a... hug? He didnt hug back for a moment, confused, but heard a few muffled apologies and returned the hug.

"So, you're gonna be firelord huh?" She asked as they separated, he nodded "And you're ending the war?"

"Exactly"

"Lame" she groaned out

"Everything I do is lame to you isn't it?"

"Not everything, but most things"

And with that Zuko ended the war, got himself and his sister some much needed therapy, Aang left to train around the world while it was healing from the war, only coming back to the firenation to train under Iroh and Zuko. Sokka managed to go to master Piando with Zuko's recommendation(though Sokka didn't know he'd been recommended). Katara managed to dismantle the sexism in the north pole after training with the swamp benders and whooping Pakku's ass.

Ozai is fckn dead, rest in fckn hell dude.

[thechekhov]

Do you think it's okay to completely separate artist from creation? Because I just found out a comic artist I really like is like against Transgender and wants to ignore race and all the bad stuff going on. I really like their work but their beliefs bother me. I dont know if I should continue to enjoy what I use to and separate artist from work, or to just unfollow. I'm not the type of person to try and force my views into others so I'm not gonna be harassing them to try and change their opinion

It depends on how you define ‘separate artist from creation’. Because there’s really two ways to do that. For the sake of this thought exercise let’s all imagine:

You have content you enjoy. You find out the author of that content is a less than stellar person. Maybe they support harmful causes, maybe they’re bigot and refuse basic respect to people different from them, maybe worldviews harm you and others that you love, etc.

Do you:

A) Pretend the author doesn’t exist but continue to consume the content while clapping your hands over your ears and going ‘LALALALALA’ and doing your best to forget who wrote it? Pretend Hatsune Miku wrote it instead? Separate the wonderful characters you’ve come to know and love, tear them from the hands of the author and say ‘they’re mine now, you never had them! I’ve assigned my own, healthier headcanons!’

OR

B) Acknowledge that their harmful worldviews will affect their content, regardless how indirectly... and consume the content anyway, but do your best not to support their views (i.e not following their main account, holding them responsible and not letting them get away with leaning on harmful/racist/outdated stereotypes)? 

... 

Here’s the thing though - if you picked B, you are NOT separating author from art. You are actively acknowledging that the author IS affecting their art - and aiming to minimize the harm caused through that content. You are already taking steps to protect others, and that does make a difference. That shows that you already know the answer to your own question. 

We realistically cannot separate art from artist. Not fully. Nor, I would argue, should we attempt to do so!

In this media-saturated world, we all consume a LOT of content. Realistically, we cannot filter and check ALL of it - or all of its creators - to be 100% sure that we are only following/consuming only the most un-problematic of all people. It’s just not feasible and holding yourself to that standard is unrealistic. 

But what we CAN all do is be critical. We can look at something that a transphobic person wrote and ask ‘does this content present harmful stereotypes?’ and we can ask ‘does this storyline have racist tropes?’ and etc. 

I’m going to be frank - I consume what could considered ‘problematic’ content. Biggest example is probably Brooklyn 99. The thing is - it’s copaganda!  And throughout the show, there are very clear, ill-disguised attempts to gloss over abuse to police power by using quirky lovable characters that are constantly breaking the law but end up as the good guys at the end of each episode! And this isn’t even the point of the show - it’s treated as a non-issue. At the beginning of season 5 they delve into prison system power abuse - but only really make it an issue for the ‘innocent good-guy cop Jake’. The next few episodes after the fact it shows - BLATANTLY - Jake and Holt screaming at and lying to a (Black!) suspect to get a confession out of him. It’s treated as the right thing to do! A quirky idea that good-guy Jake had! 

Wanna get psychological whiplash? Watch When They See Us on Netflix and then watch Jake yelling at his suspect in the interrogation room. Ask yourself why those two are different, or why they are interpreted differently. Then ask why they aren’t, and shouldn’t be. 

And when I watch Brooklyn 99 I have two options:

I can cover my ears and sing LALALA IT’S JUST A SHOW, I’M JUST HAVING FUN! or I can be critical and practice calling out the blatantly police-propoganda-y tropes when they come on-screen and evaluate the good vs. the bad and ask myself every once in a while ‘is the Good here outweighed by the Bad? Is there content here that I couldn’t get elsewhere?’

In the end, no one can stop you from consuming content. If you want to keep watching/reading - you will find a way. But ignoring the issues, turning away and trying to imagine away the bad parts... will ALWAYS leave you with less than the full picture. It’s far more harmful to pretend that everything is fine for the sake of making yourself feel comfortable than it is to just face it head-on and admit that the author will inevitably leave a part of their beliefs in their art. 

When people read my stories - even something as removed as WD!Steven - they will inevitably be coming in contact with MY political views, even if they’re not obvious. And honestly, I wouldn’t want people to separate my art from myself. 

I want to make it clear - in many cases, unfollowing/blocking is absolutely the best thing to do. I’ve done that for many creators that I realized were... not good people. But that sort of thing is for you to decide, and so I won’t just tell you ‘go unfollow them!’. It’s way more important that you make this judgement not because of peer pressure - but because you’ve thought about it and made the decision that makes the most sense for YOU.

[aegialia]

self-indulgent reflection on being on tumblr

so i recently hit 1000 followers on here and this blog has existed for almost exactly 8 years, so i wanted to ramble about tumblr and my experience of it for awhile. under the cut so definitely feel free to ignore this.

i started this blog right around when i was fourteen and had just started high school. at that point, i was out to my parents (and no one else) as bi, i had an inkling i was Struggling with something but i had no idea what and felt like i couldnt actually acknowledge it, and i had left leaning but very vague politics. tumblr definitely has shaped my journey around sexuality/gender/mental health/politics, both for good and for ill. 

for good: 

seeing other ppl talk about being lesbians helped me realize i could be a lesbian w/o being a traitor to the concept of bisexuality. hearing trans ppl talk about their experiences and explaining non-binary stuff and dysphoria helped me understand what i was going through 

i don’t like talking about my mental health stuff in detail on here, but suffice to say, i was Going Through it in high school. i’m still going through it now, but i am in a much better place (thank you medication and 7 years of therapy!). seeing ppl talk about the weird, dumb, awful parts of mental illness let me acknowledge that i was going through those things too, that i wasnt like evil for feeling like that, that i could change. people talking about adhd/autism was particularly helpful---being able to identify why i’d always felt like my brain just didn’t work right is the first step in the (ongoing) process of not hating myself for the way my brain works

politics is definitely the area where i think tumblr was the best for me. i got exposed to so many opinions i definitely wasn’t hearing in school, from intelligent, well-read people who could articulate theory in ways i could understand. tumblr didn’t give me my politics and i didn’t learn everything i know about theory from it, but the communities of people i was around pointed me in the right directions. tumblr was also a good place to learn how to react to criticism. this doesn’t seem to be most people’s experience, but getting called out over minor things on tumblr genuinely helped me learn how to take a step back, look at my behavior, apologize, and try to change, which, as it turns out, is a helpful skill irl as well

for ill:

wrt sexuality and gender, it’s probably pretty obvious someone who’s journey is ‘cis bi girl -> cis with a million different microlabels -> nb w a million different microlabels for both sexuality and gender -> nb butch lesbian who’s not super into romance’ would have some bad times on tumblr. the bi circles i was in made being a lesbian seem like an immoral choice, the ‘’’mogai’’’ (or whatever u wanna call them) circles made me feel like i had to divy up and perfectly label every aspect of myself in a way that really wasn’t helpful for me, the lesbian circles i was in made me feel like being a lesbian was about ending up in a monogamous butch/femme cottagecore relationship and that there was something wrong with me for not really wanting that. to be clear i think microlabels can be very helpful for people/a monogamous butch/femme relationship is a perfectly fine thing to want, they just didn’t work for me. im very very glad ive reached a point in my life where i dont feel the need to stay up to date on the latest discourse and am more focused on finding a way to exist that is comfortable for me and supporting my community irl. 10/10 would recommend to everyone

not going to get deep into it, but social media is. not good for my brain in general. i still enjoy using tumblr, but these days im pretty careful to step back from it frequently and treat it as an occasional hobby. 

the cons of political stuff on tumblr are probably also very obvious. there are some just awful discussions on here and the culture surrounding the way we handle bad behavior and justice and accountability and working to become a better person and make up for the harm you’ve caused has historically been fucking awful and trying to unlearn it and find new ways to engage with this stuff is exhausting. 

for all that i’ve changed over the course of having this blog, this blog has stayed pretty fucking static. i started out being super into diana wynne jones and the iliad and those are still two of my biggest interests and things i talk about the most on here. there are definitely specific things that have petered away (i started this blog almost entirely to keep up with good omens fan stuff and i pretty much haven’t touched it since the miniseries came out, i haven’t sought out pacific rim/supernatural/elementary/mcu content in years), but im still pretty much interested in the same things. i like relatively small fandoms, i like weird side characters, i like to be a grumpy child playing with my toys in the corner. when a fandom im in gets popular, i tend to stop engaging with it entirely (hello rqg/tma/good omens/enola holmes!). i dont think its a pretentious ‘i liked it before it was cool’ thing so much as a ‘people get Weird and awful when a fandom hits a certain level of popularity and there’s too much content and i really, really hate the bad faith arguments larger fandoms tend to spawn’ thing. i’ll consume content from big fandoms, but i pretty much refuse to actually engage with them at this point.

one of the stranger parts of my experience of tumblr is the social side. i’ve never really known how people make friends online---how do you go from liking each other’s posts and occasionally replying to them to actually being friends who communicate off social media? i’ve had conversations with ppl on tumblr and i’ve had sort-of friendships that are contained to tumblr where i’d like to get to know them better, but i’ve never figured out how to do that. my best friend’s job is pretty much to make friends/connections on the internet (she’s an activist and artist), my dad knows people everywhere in the world from twitter, and i’m just sitting here like a little old grandpa who doesn’t understand how you can have internet friends. 

at this point in my life, i’m fine with this, but this has made me feel real fucking bad in the past---like, if everyone online, even the ppl who say they’re weird and brainbad in a similar way to me, can make friends on the internet, what’s wrong with me? particularly in high school and my first year of college, when i was just horribly lonely all the time, it made me feel super disconnected and like there was something fundamentally bad about me. these days, i’m a lot chiller about it. i use social media to engage with stuff i enjoy and share my thoughts about it. it’s okay that my social difficulties extend to me not knowing how to use the internet to socialize.

on a somewhat related topic, it’s wild that i have 1000 followers. obviously, that’s not an actually super large number and a huge number of them are probably bots or inactive. if you post consistently for eight years and follow lots of people, like i do, it’s not a surprise to end up with this many followers. it is also, thankfully, the sort of followers that are not fans. probably most ppl following this blog dont remember why they followed and dont know anything about me or my interests. this sounds like its meant to be depressing but it’s not. i like that my way of engaging w the internet lets me do pretty much whatever i want and no one will care. the mere concept of being. like. tumblr famous in any capacity, even just in one community/fandom, is viscerally horrifying to me. 

i really enjoy the space i’ve created for myself on here. on one hand, going back through my blog is obviously embarrassing and full of hating my past self. on the other hand, i now have a very nice collection of things i enjoy in this blog. i like seeing what i’ve been interested in and (when i’m in a good mental health place) i like to be able to remember how i thought and talked about the things i loved when i was younger. im not at the place in my life where i can love a younger version of myself, but sometimes i can laugh at zir with a level of fondness. 

i’ve always been paranoid about sharing details about my life on here (and the fact that my parents have always been able to see it certainly contributed), so the version of jack on here is a carefully curated version, who’s super enthusiastic about the things they love, was very conscientious about apologizing and trying to do better when ze messed up, and tried to be polite to others. that’s a younger version of myself that i’m closer to being able to have compassion for than the version i find in essays and poems and memories. 

i’m starting grad school in ten days and i’m still using the blog i started when i began high school. tumblr has helped me in a lot of ways and hurt me in a lot of ways, but i still have to admit that it’s been a significant factor in shaping me. i’d be incredibly embarrassed to admit that irl, but it’s true. other than my family and like one friend, this blog is one of the only things that’s ‘known’ me since i started high school. i’ve changed so much in that time and im glad to have this weird little record of myself throughout those changes, even if i’d probably warn my younger self away from tumblr if i could go back in time.

tl;dr i have had a mixed experience on tumblr and i have mixed feelings about that experience. no idea if anyone read any of this very long, very rambling internet memoir

p.s. fun facts about this blog:

i’ve never changed my icon or blog title

i recently got a second version of the poster i got my blog title from. i chose my blog title by looking at what was hanging on the wall directly in front of me. 

my original url was gloomthkin. this was not, as you’d probably assume, an otherkin thing. i had literally no idea what otherkin was at that point. i’d just learned the word gloomth from a bill bryson book and thought it would be cool n edgy to be the child of the quality of gloom. i changed my url after i learned what otherkin was and realized everyone probably assumed something about me that wasn’t true which i hated (not bc i had an issue w otherkin, just bc i don’t like ppl thinking untrue things about me)

during my good omens days, i once sent a tumblr ask to nail guyman which, in retrospect, was kinda rude. i stand by the content but id never send an ask like that now. he replied to it privately in a way that so deeply embarrassed and shamed 15 year old me that i’ve never gotten over it. i still get nervous and embarrassed when i see anything about him or his books

[tundrainafrica]

I just find it so unfortunate that some aggressive shippers ruin a ship and a character for so many people. A popular Erwin x Levi artist got hate comments by some Levihan shippers and so many people are bashing it now on twitter because of that. Its just so sad considering LH was one of the most beautiful and fun dynamics in such a depressing story. Even Hange is getting hated because LH is pretty much the default ship involving them and it just breaks my heart :(

Twitter has some great content and I actually hang around AOT twt for some quick content. It’s like every time I’m feeling fast food I just hang there, like a few tweets, read a few soc med AUs etc etc. 

But god. It’s a mess man. Last year I was constantly on twitter to be honest and it left me in a bad mood everyday because people are just being assholes for little to no reason really but just to put themselves in what they believe is a morally higher ground from their peers. And people just like fighting and the funny part is no opinions are actually heard, no views are actually exchanged. It’s just “you dont agree with me so you’re a bad person.” 

Ad hominem attacks are just everywhere.

So I like staying in my small little hole and just talking to myself there and just liking the content of the Levihan people I actually follow. I see stuff I don’t agree with but I’ve kinda accepted that a lot of people there are just there to push an agenda because really if people were that open minded, I don’t think lynching and call out culture would have gotten this far.  

I’ve used this same analogy so many times but I feel like in Twitter, people are just scrambling for some sort of moral high ground. Because of that, it is completely useless to engage in discourse there because one thing I noticed is most people who are vocal there already have a set stance on something and the fact that they’re ready to just bully anyone who stands in the way of their agenda, just makes convincing them out of the agenda impossible and a complete waste of time. And there are two issues in particular among the LH community which are really unsettling for me: the ship wars and within the LH community, the gender war. 

Ship wars

I find the ship wars unnecessary because really what makes a superior ship? 

Probability of being canon? How much fuel they were given in canon? Healthiness of the relationship?

The truth is people ship for many reasons. But really, who are we to judge how a person goes about the way they decide to participate in the fandom and ship? As long as it is something they keep within personal spaces and do it responsibly, I don’t think it’s our business to judge someone or lynch them. The important thing is people are able to not be an asshole about it. People can ship the most questionable shit, create the most dubious content, as long as that person is respecting boundaries and putting the right tags and trigger warnings, who are we to call them out right?

Of course I prefer LH over other Levi ships personally but is there really a need to attack other people’s ships about it? I probably do poke fun at Ereri because until now I still do not get why people enjoy Ereri in the first place but why destroy the fandom experience for people just because we don’t agree with them.

My general intention behind shipping Levihan is because above anything I value the healthiness in the relationship and the things people can learn about love and relationships by analyzing Levihan’s dynamics and headcanoning them. I love Levi and Hange’s dynamics to death and I like digging deeper into them and pulling out lessons from it about love, life and relationships and just sharing them with people which is my whole point for participating in this fandom in the first place. 

But in the end, ships are just preferences. Some people like getting a kick out of dubious pairings and toxic relationships. As long as they consume these responsibly and don’t emulate them in real life, I see no problem in it. 

The toxic ones are the ones who actively crucify people for preferences. 

The Gender War

One really disturbing thing I found about twitter is that deciding to use ‘she’ to refer to Hange can get you lynched. I found a few accounts that would reblog tweets where someone says something like “Yes, Hange, Queen” which gets retweeted by some NB Hange folk who say stuff like “Unfollow this transphobe now.” 

Because apparently deciding to headcanon Hange as a woman or just preferring to use ‘she’ makes people a transphobe. Which is personally just... really disturbing. I don’t believe words like homophobic, transphobic, racist should be so easily thrown around unless there is hard evidence to believe that someone is really one of the epithets above like for example: 

There are things I find completely assholish like of course, refusing to use someone’s preferred pronouns if they ask you. 

But Hange is fictional and Hange is a gift to the fandom.And I don’t even think the issue about Hange’s gender should have ever reached this far. The only thing Yams ever said was that Hange is just not the type to be tied down to a single gender. 

And policing Hange’s gender and saying NOPE SHE’S NON BINARY USE THEY Is just counterintuitive to the whole idea that she’s a free spirit. In the end, Hange as a character wouldn’t have given a fuck whether people called her a they, she or even a he. 

And yeah, it’s frustrating really that these two issues I just discussed above are ruining Hange as a character for a lot of people and consequently, ruining Levi x Hange as a ship. 

Apparently, a lot of people are closet LxH shippers or closet Hange stans because the moment they tweet something about Hange, there are people who will attack them. If people refer to Hange as they, they get attacked. If people refer to Hange as she, they get attacked. There are so many antis apparently to the LxH ship, some apparently are jealous because ‘it’s the closest to canon’ while others just apparently deem it a toxic ship because of our own internal gender war.  

There’s no winning really. And to be honest, there’s nothing I can do either and I don’t want to engage in any arguments in twitter if at the end of it, I’m just gonna end up wasting my time listening to ad hominem attacks directed at me just for not agreeing with someone in a fandom related matter. . 

I’ve said my piece about the Hange gender issue so many times. There are NBs who use she. There are those who use they. Being female and being NB aren’t mutually exclusive. You can be both at the same time.

But yeah, we still have people being assholes about this and pushing factually wrong agendas. I love research and I have been writing research papers and metas for a lot of things even before I started this blog in the first place. And I eventually learned that the world is so complex that no opinion is completely and absolutely correct. 

And ideally, opinions shouldn’t be made so easily. 

Don’t get me wrong. I believe everyone is entitled to a preference and when I say preference I mean the type of food they like, the type of wallpaper they like. 

But no one is entitled to a moral judgement or opinion just for existing and when I say opinion I mean questions on morals, on what’s right or what isn’t, what is or what should be. Every single person has the responsibility to research, hear both sides of a discourse and understanding them before deciding for themselves what’s right. And this is why hearing accusations that someone is ‘transphobic,’ ‘homophobic’ blah blah over how we hc a character just really does not sit well with me. 

Passing moral judgement on someone requires discernment, deep thought and lots and lots of evidence. But yeah this is a philosophical question and a political question so I ain’t going to delve into it here.

Because, in the end, fandoms are preferences. The way we choose to participate in a fandom and create content are preferences more than anything.

So what? (Btw, if you reached all the way here, thank you for listening to me ramble lol and sorry if you weren’t expecting this type of ramble)

I know I’ve just been rambling a lot up there for a lot of reasons but really what message do I wanna give? 

Fandoms are preferences more than anything so I don’t even believe that there should be a discussion on moral judgement here. People can have the weirdest kinks, the most questionable preferences but as long as they aren’t going around romanticizing abuse, beating up people in real life, killing them and lying in real life, who are we to judge?

Even if someone says they have a rape kink and abuse kink when it comes to fics, as long as they acknowledge it’s something they shouldn’t emulate in real life, as long as they can keep an adult conversation about it, I think these people are generally kinder and more pleasant overall than people who force their healthy canon ship and lynch everyone for having more questionable preferences. 

Ship and let ship. Live and let live. Headcanon and let headcanon. If a person has a differing opinion, listen. (Or really, if you just don’t want to deal with listening to differing opinions coz you’re just gonna get stressed, don’t lynch? Don’t send hate? And just ignore it?)

Ask yourself. Does the person acknowledge that it isn’t right in real life? Do they acknowledge if they emulate it in real life it has the potential to be harmful?

Honestly, all I wanna do is just let people stan Levi and Hange however they want to. There are obviously hcs I dont agree with. But in the LH community we just all love Levihan, let’s not ruin the fandom experience for anyone. In the AOT community, we all just love AOT, let’s not ruin it for anyone. Let’s not hurt anyone, attack them etc. 

If someone doesn’t agree and they can hold an adult conversation about it and they don’t emulate these toxic opinions in real life and they recognize that there is the option to just agree to disagree, why don’t we just listen and engage in this discourse to learn more about other people and to build more perspectives?

Because really it isn’t the questionable hcs or the multiple genders which leaves such a bad taste in my mouth. It’s the people who just go straight to attacking instead of actually considering that there’s potential for discourse and there’s potential to ‘agree to disagree’ because in the end, fandom discourse is a question of preference more than moral judgement. 

It’s easier said than done really. But personally for me, I just try to keep my fandom experience as non toxic as possible while at the same time as mentally fulfilling as possible. I enjoy discourse, I like hearing differing opinions and I really believe with something as light and as inconsequential as fandoms as our common ground, we can learn to peacefully co-exist despite differing opinions on what the best ship is or what Hange’s gender is. 

Note: I won’t delve too much on the Hange gender issue here because I have pending asks about those which I’ll answer in one go, but I really believe that both they and she are valid pronouns for Hange. 

I have a general preference for ‘she’ because it’s just easier to read. But personally I don’t think too much about the gender identity issue because it’s really just too complex for me and i like spending my time thinking of other headcanons about Hange than gender and people who push the Hange is nb agenda and people who push the Hange is a female agenda and just insult each other and lynch each other are both equally unsettling. 

[ronnytherandom]

I forgot to watch content all week so i wrote about games ive been playing

9/2/2021: The Truman Show

You should fear your fears but embrace them and use them to guide you into the unknown, to explore and experience what life has to offer. Fear stands between you and the fullest experience of life so you must pass through it to better yourself. Heed not the walls built about you and the chains made to hold you. Though the architects insist it will preserve your life, containment is anathema to life. Do not take in faith the benevolence of powers that be; instead trust those who would support and liberate you, guide you through fear and into life.

As best I can lay it out, I think this is the philosophy of the Truman show but there is so much more to read into it also. There is critique of systems of commodification and celebrity (i.e. capitalism) reducing human beings to a consumable good as well as encouragement to find and pursue your goals despite adversity and even sensibility which is also tied to the illusion of economic responsibility. You can’t put a camera inside a human head, you can never “know” them without being an active and intrinsic part of their life, but also there is need for reciprocation. If one half exists with ulterior motive then the entire relationship is rotten; sincere humanity is what creates real connections. Without such your world is fake. A world built around one person is a world where no one can truly live. All these actors have given up basically their entire lives for the sake of watching Truman have his life built around him by outside forces, have allowed themselves to be commodified and dehumanised for the good of one man, Christoph. The man at the top has delusions of grandeur and thinks only of his own bottom line, he cares not for his subjects but simply wants them to do as he tells them because it benefits him to commodify their lives and interactions. Even then he cannot stand to lose control and in seeking to demonstrate Truman’s “realness” he structures his life so thoroughly that eventually there’s no reality left, only a script and adverts. But the people watching still empathise with Truman because everyone in the working class understands what it is to be trapped because real life is our own Truman show and one day we must all pass through fear, step out of the dome and create a real life for ourselves outside of the system of commodification which consumes everyone’s life and removes all realness and sincerity and emotional catharsis from it.

I unreservedly love this film.

14/2/2021: Assorted Game Reviews

Horizon Zero Dawn (Unfinished due to technical issues, 45 hours inc. parts of Frozen Wilds): This game is really cool and really fun. I think it is defined by its incredible setting which somehow creates a fresh feeling post-apocalyptic environment. Said environment creates intriguing alt-future lore and some very interesting environments to explore. I love the machine designs (especially tallnecks!) and was very sad to hear one of their contributing artists passed away recently but I’m glad their work lives on in this visually stunning game. I’m a sucker for Ubisoft-style open world games simply because it tickles a certain kind of itch and somehow this non-Ubisoft game has outdone Ubisoft on their own formula, which is hilarious, but also good for me as running around this world exploring and clearing map markers is engaging fun. Not least because of the combat. I have a minor criticism here that the combat feels slightly awkward on mouse and keyboard, the arrows never seem to go where I’m aiming, but aside from that the experience of fighting is a grand one. Enemies never lose their threat and I love the weak spot system the game employs which makes every tool useful in niche circumstance and rewards curiosity. It specifically manages this in a way that I feel the Witcher series could learn from if it ever returns; by making head on assault less viable and encouraging tactical hunting. I do feel this system makes hunting robots so fun that by contrast hunting humans becomes a chore however, though I noted this improves in the dlc with the addition of humans with elemental weaknesses limited in number as they are. I cannot speak for the story in entirety but what I encountered was pretty good, though I feel as if it was only just really getting going at the point where I could not continue. I find Aloy to be a compelling and well portrayed protagonist and though I can guess about her origin and the ultimate end of the alt-future apocalypse I still want to see how it plays out on screen, so will return to this as soon as I’ve fixed it.

Rimworld (122 hours. Familiar with but do not own Royalty Expansion):

Rimworld is one of those super special games that I don’t think I have a single problem with. Fair warning it can be brutal and is heavily dependent on RNG but this allows it to create truly unique and interesting scenarios on a constant basis. In the wider perspective it could be described as formulaic, with regular cycles of managing the settlement between raids and random events, but the devils in the details. Colonist traits, health and skills dictate how you play and sometimes you’ll be forced to adapt as some colonists simply refuse to perform some tasks. The depth of health particularly amuses me, in that each little part of someone’s body is modelled in a way. If you’re in a firefight you may take a single bullet which grazes your finger and you’re fine. Alternately it could pierce your human leather cowboy hat, your skull and kill you instantly and the game will tell you exactly what happened. The risk/reward element is addictive enough, and that’s without accounting for just how cool it is to see your colony slowly expand. Establishing more and more options for crafting is fun and shows off the full range of different items in the game which is fucking extensive. Between clothing, weapons, armour, sculpture and drugs to name only a few you have the opportunity to create many varied production lines either for your colonists or to trade for money and there is a lot of fun to be had here as well as it is quite satisfying to see psychoid you have grown personally become the cocaine your colonists snort to help them stay awake on limited sleep. From an archaeologist’s perspective it is especially cool to look back over your base and see the hints of how and why structures were built and remember the history of your limitations and development through structure. I think the lore of the universe is really cool too, a very 40k-esque kind of place except with far less order, somehow. But the universe does an excellent job of feeling alive and moving constantly on both a planetary and interstellar level. You can fully believe that while you build wooden shacks to shield yourself from terrifyingly low temperatures there are simultaneously rich pieces of shit living it up on the glitterworld that’s one system over. The music does an excellent job of creating the wild west frontier atmosphere the game cultivates to great effect. Ultimately, for just being a grid with a series of different numbers attached, this game does a fantastic job of creating a compelling, brutal and very real colony management experience. I dont think I can properly put into words the grandness and scope of this one. I didnt even mention the modding scene, which is expansive and tailors to basically any need you could have. The Rim is a terrifying place but theres so much fun to be had.

Factorio (86 hours, mostly 1.1): Having completed a game of Factorio I can tell you reliably that this is one of the best games ever made, thoroughly addictive and fun. If you like numbers, logistics, TRAINS, its gonna be your thing. Not to mention its probably the only documented case of a game with no bugs (so far as official forums are concerned). Strictly speaking this games combat is not the most engrossing thing but good lord do you feel it when you acquire a flamethrower. The way each aspect of the game (production, research, logistics, combat, upgrades for everything therein) feeds into the next is a really well constructed balancing act such that you must experience the full game in order to complete it and I always appreciate this kind of design. I think its one of the best tenets of factory game design especially as its something present in Satisfactory too. Beyond all of this generalised good the game is also excellent in its intricacies, the architecture necessary to build a maximum efficiency base, the level of planning and organisation that can be employed is mind-blowing. Not to mention the mod community, factorion is already an extensive experience and some mad bastards have seen fit to complicate it further, hats off to them. This really is a great moment in gaming.

 Destiny 2 (198 hours, all expansions, played some post Forsaken release, mostly Season of Arrivals onwards, spent roughly £20 on microtransactions):

This is a very interesting and enjoyable experience, but I must say it can be a bit controversial at times. What its does particularly well is moment to moment gameplay and design in all aspects. The game is stunning; between environments, cosmetics, shaders ships and ghosts there’s a vast range of incredible things to see, all rooted in the “pseudo-magi-science” aesthetic it’s got going on. The class design is excellent and you really do feel like you embody this rampaging madman / agile gunman / space wizard archetype, whichever you choose to play. The abilities, especially supers, are very satisfying. Everything has heft and power behind it which can be felt in all aspects of design; sound and animation is top notch. Movement is cool, you can feel how fast you move both on foot and in vehicles and the navigation has a little fun subtlety depending on your class jump, even if you can bounce unpredictably occasionally. But for the love of god why is the wall kick in there? It has only ever served to push me from a ledge into a bottomless pit. You're looking to remove antiquated content? Start there. Some guns are not so good to shoot but there’s such a great range of guns that are fun its like complaining about one drop in an ocean; and enemies are fun to shoot at, each faction distinct in meaningful ways and presenting an effective challenge. Speaking of oceans, that’s one way to describe the lore. I haven’t dived too deep but it keeps going down forever and everything I’ve read is intriguing. As a former Elder Scrolls lore nut this is something I could definitely sink my teeth into, though its much more of a pulpy sci-fi vibe than a pure nonsense vibe. I do think the game has a bit of a loot problem, primarily in regards to the conflict between high stats and looking good. This should never be a conflict, and yes you can apply ornaments to any purple gear but that’s not enough when I spend the entire time grinding power levels and thus must change armour and weapons on a constant basis to progress. This game needs a true transmog system and if not that, rethink how gear power level works. Perhaps rather than earning new instances of gear you always possess a version of it and the loot you acquire in missions just upgrades your instance to your current overall power level? This would serve to do away with the current upgrade system which I think is a needless additional grind. Perhaps it could be retained in using enhancement cores to empower gear as present but necessitating a whole upgrade module to keep your favourite weapon on hand is kind of painful honestly. There is also at present the issue of sunsetting gear, mildly controversial to say the least. If it’s necessary to streamline the game and make it function moving forward so be it but surely loot pools should be adjusted so you can actually get useful loot from older locations? And why sunset personal instances of gear which can be acquired at the regular power level anyway? I had to throw away my favourite bow and hunt down a new version of the exact same weapon for… what reason? I do think destination navigation leaves a little to be desired also. I get that having a physical hub world is meaningful but Destiny does not have a very extroverted community; I can count the times someone noticed me in the tower on one hand. And its not even like there’s fun activities to be found in the same sense as say Deep Rock Galactic, which really does take advantage of its hub. Perhaps for players who simply want to go about their business all of the vendors could be set into a menu system where just clicking an icon takes you to their menu from anywhere in the system rather than, per se, having to go through an entire loading screen (Which takes you to orbit and back) to reach a location which serves simply as the front for four menus. These are established player problems. As a dedicated PvE player I can say that this game is immensely fun in combat and growing in power does feel really good. It’s something I recommend getting into, there’s just some very large creases that need ironing which the Bungie should really take the time to address rather than pushing out new in game content every three months.

[trickstarbrave]

big hot topic on tiktok that has been talked abt often that i wanna throw my two cents in abt the discussion but will do so here bc its going to be way easier than condensing it in 60 seconds and ppl will get even more mad abt it on there. under a cut so you can just not look if you don’t want to as it’s probably long and no one likes this discussion 

disclaimer: im not jewish. culturally or religiously at all. so i do not have the best of insight of jewish folklore and i will mainly be repeating what i have heard jewish ppl say on it but you listening to jewish ppl on it will invariably be way more helpful. ultimately i am not talking to make an argument for or against lilith worship bc i can’t make that call, mainly just that arguments for it i see tend to be deeply flawed. ive seen jewish people who say they don’t care if people worship her and ive seen jewish people who are very much against it and frankly no one needs my non jewish ass giving them permission on it, i just don’t like some of the harmful arguments and at times BLATANT anti-Semitism i see in the discussions

“lilith isn’t a closed practice!!! she cant be closed!!! she’s a being/deity we can all recognize!!!”

this i feel starts with a misunderstanding of what “closed practice” means. a closed practice is a very broad term to describe any practices, typically spiritually in nature that are not freely shared 100% openly, usually due to trying to preserve cultural or religious practices. you can learn about most of them--if you go to a primary source. many people of closed practices are open about talking about it and teaching it to people who are interested, and some cannot due to years of oppression and theft of those said practices. some require initiation, and a lot of them are passed down with heavy cultural ties. and most importantly “closed practice” is a relatively new understanding of cultural preservation after colonization. 

judaism isn’t a ‘fully closed’ religion, but it does have a set conversion order in place, and typically while converting you will learn under a rabbi or teacher. a lot of jewish mysticism, magic, and folklore are passed down culturally, so even converts may take a very long time to learn all the ins and outs of it. and a lot of times jewish practices, beliefs, texts, and folklore has been wholesale stolen by western new-age spiritualists, occultists throughout the ages, and demonized by people who seek to harm jewish people as a whole. 

the pure fact of the matter is that unless you are learning from jewish people theres going to be a lot of things about lilith you don’t know. your understanding outside of the cultural jewish understanding of her is very different, yet you are the one who also constantly equates them as the same being with the same stories, with some modifications. yet time and time again whenever a jewish person would express anxiety over it (as she can be viewed as a very HARMFUL spirit to jewish people and not a deity for them) you talk over them and call them sexist, and when they try to correct you over misunderstandings of her stories you tell them you know more than them. 

with closed practices what doesn’t matter is your bloodline or your skin, it is about the information you have access culturally, and that information may be kept from people like you so that the faith in question can be preserved because it has been threatened. and yes, jewish people have had their cultural, spiritual, and religious practices threatened. it isn’t about keeping you out because they don’t like you, its about the fact that you don’t know everything and the way you are going to learn it will be difficult and very different. ive seen white voodou workers who are actual recognized practioners (sorry for the lack of proper terminology on this i know they have proper words/titles but i dont know them), and they didn’t just look up whatever they could find online, they had to seek out a priest to learn from, and it took a lot of time and training. 

there is a way to approach closed religious/spiritual practices, and someone saying ‘this is closed’ is not them saying ‘go away you cant even look at or be interested in this thing it is not for and never will be for people like YOU’. and ultimately HOW you go about approaching it will be decided by someone in that culture, and not however you feel would be the best way to do it as an outsider.

“how could so many people, if they aren’t actually contacting the “real lilith” be wrong? if shes from a closed practice she couldn’t reach out to so many people right? so they aren’t doing anything disrespectful” 

spirits, deities, and other entities from closed practices do reach out to outsiders on occasion and the correct course for dealing with that is to immediately find a person of religious/spiritual authority and trying to work with that person to better understand why. again the point above: you do not have the cultural knowledge to work with them, you do not understand how to identify them, what practices best suit them, the multitudes of stories around them, and history of them working with humans. if you actually value them as an entity it is imperative you understand from a PRIMARY source all of this information, not just second and third hand accounts of outsiders. 

and also a lot of colonizers have claimed to be personally connected or contacted by entities from a closed practice and use that as an excuse to not only not learn, but speak as an authority figure about them. there are people who claim to work with shinto spirits with absolutely 0 actual knowledge on shintoism yet feel like they have an authority to speak on it. there are people who claim to have been contacted by voodou, hoodou, and vodun spirits/entities and know nothing about it yet speak as authority figures on it. i’ve seen someone do it for a polynesian god. they did not care about actual learning, they cared about their own beliefs, validating those said already existing beliefs, and getting validation online. am i saying everyone is doing this with lilith? no. but saying “people wouldnt just lie/be wrong right?” yeah. yeah it happens all the time. 

“they don’t even like her, they fear her, she’s a demon to them and is actually from babylonia, we are NOT worshipping the same version as her and they don’t even want anything to do with her so why does it matter” 

in terms of actual cultural study a lot of jewish and christian stories are born from the cultures their people have had contact with. historically yes, jewish people have been in babylonia, assyria, and that area, and have made cultural exchanges with those people. a lot of cultural sharing has occured throughout history, but the jewish tellings of the stories have particularly jewish cultural knowledge and heritage in them. also we frankly do not have a lot of concrete surviving stories of lili, lilu, and lilitu, so i know you are not basing the meat and bones of your practice on those unless you have access to that cultural knowledge that not even archaeologists and anthropologists even know exists. most of it is on middle ages mysticism that developed her further based on jewish folklore and religious stories. 

also just because a culture doesn’t worship and revere a spirit doesn’t mean it is yours for the adopting and taking. we see this with the cannibalistic spirit i will not name from algonquin tribes and shapeshifting spirits/witches i also will not name from navajo. these are not spirits you’re supposed to mention or talk about, and even more so because their culture has such intense, negative stories around them means you should probably give it a little more thought. 

the last point i am going to make is the general, overt anti-semitism i see. stop comparing judaism to christianity. stop saying they are evil and misrepresent her because judaism is inherently sexist. stop saying they are oppressing your culturally christian raised ass. stop saying jewish people have no culture of their own and its “all stolen from pagan traditions” (which are somehow all equally open for you to take from too i suppose, as though middle eastern practices are exactly the same cultural weight as all white european ones)

again im not for the forceful closing of practices and i cannot give you fucking permission as i sure as shit do not know but i don’t think any of you even understand what “closed practice” means and why jewish people might have even the slightest misgivings about you working with or worshipping her and it really shows. if you have been heavily studying the occult, jewish traditions, and are doing so respectfully then i sure as hell am not here to argue with you about it so don’t come at me for it. what i am saying is a lot of people who do not have that and are absolutely disrespectful towards judaism and jewish people as a whole really keep making an ass of themselves on witchtok and are absolutely insufferable towards any jewish person who voices their thoughts and feelings on it, and i have a problem with that. 

[karliesbuzzcut]

that reddit gaylor thread... it seems they dont like karlie... and they dont even like taylor... why are they invested to that extent...? is the gaylor reddit community all like that or...? i dont even know if i wanna know more about that dark side 😂

I honestly feel so bad for the Gaylor community because the Gaylor subreddit is such a mess. For a while it was just abandoned, which is bad enough, but then it got filled with very angsty messages... which all seem to come from the same person..?

Anon, let’s take a walk, I want to show you this neat rabbit hole I found.

I first noticed a user called Rio211, I’ve written about her on my blog before. She joined reddit on October, 2019, is mostly active in the GaylorSwift subreddit, as well as the r/popheads, the r/TaylorSwift (where she was obviously shadowbanned) and some random other subreddits. It’s on these last ones I learned that she identifies as a bisexual woman and says she’s 25 and from Brazil. She absolutely despises Taylor - here’s just one of her many comments.

She also:

blames bots for there being so many people talking (and supporting) Taylor’s relationship with Joe (who she calls Fugly Joe and “a merkin”)

thinks that Tree is in charge of both Taylor’s subreddit and the LChat and is banning anyone who talks about Taylor being a lesbian.

She mentions a couple of times how Harry Styles doesn’t like Taylor at all

Doesn’t believe someone can be Non-binary. Is very transphobic in general.

Uses slurs like ‘retard’ and ‘slow’ very casually

Uses age as a way to dismiss you, like the “only if you’re 14, I’m 25 and all I see...”. Or says that Taylor is 30 but is still acting like a 14 year old.

Complains about not being able to question the pandemic because she’d be banned.

Taylor gives her “depression vibes”, she theorises that Taylor was abused - oh! and also that she looks “swollen”.

she insults Taylor for being a closeted lesbian by making comments like: “I [Taylor] am a bitter closet case who wanted to go to St. Tropez with bitches and models but can’t because I’m a closet.”

I’m posting a screenshot so you can get a general idea of the kind of comments she made (we can’t see the complete thing because, as I said, she has been shadowbanned from r/TaylorSwift so her comments won’t show on the thread)

She hasn’t posted anything for 110 days.

Then there’s PrettyAliens who joined reddit in August 2019.

Mostly active on r/TaylorSwift (she has also been shadowbanned, although she doesn’t seem to notice it?)and r/GaylorSwift. Says she’s a bisexual woman from Brazil and/or Argentina (she switches around) and 23 years old.

Calls Joe: a merkin, a leech and “fugly flop”.

She makes jokes about Taylor like “[Taylor] will be wearing a costume, dressed like a closet”.

Calls fans “slow” for admiring Taylor in any way, and calls Taylor similar names (including retard) more than once.

Says a bunch of times that Harry Styles can’t stand Taylor.

Downplays the pandemic by saying only weirdos are still isolating.

Ask people how old they are to imply they’re being naive or simply stupid. And has several times stated that Taylor is “an old child” and shit like that.

She says there’s no such thing as Cis-men or cis-women. Only men and women. And non-binary doesn’t exist. Very transphobic in general.

She goes on an on about Taylor looking bloated and sad. Probably being an alcoholic too.

She believes that... you guessed it: Bots are behind the Joe’s popularity with the swifties and that Tree controls Taylor’s subreddit&LChat.

Examples of her comments

Lastly there’s popparts who joined in August, 2020. Active pretty much only on r/GaylorSwift and r/TaylorSwift (shadowbanned, yes).

Calls Joe a “leach” and “grumpy flop” among other things and accuses people of being “bot trolls” whenever someone doesn’t hate his existence:

“Only a retard 12yo uses the line ‘you need to calm down’”

Downplays the pandemic saying that they can go everywhere and everybody does.

Asks people how old they are to imply they’re being naive or simply stupid. Or use “12” as the go-to “stupid age”.

Insists Harry Styles doesn’t like Taylor.

Keeps pointing out that Taylor looks sad and depressed.

Phrases like ‘closet case’

Popparts hasn’t really talked much about themselves other than they’re in college (med student, supposedly). But what I find curious is that both Popparts and PrettyAliens seem to have the same activity on Reddit. There have been times in which both of them don’t comment on anything for a few days and then they return at the same time. Although that can be explained by saying that sometimes there’s nothing to talk about.

Needless to say, these 3 people all believe Karlie and Taylor were in a relationship for a while but they have broken up. Karlie wanted the money and the fame. Taylor wanted Karlie back but couldn’t get her, and now she’s sad. However, these 3 Redditors do not pity Taylor, because they all think she’s earning a lot of her money by appearing heterosexual while baiting the gays. And they resent her for that. A lot.

In conclusion: these 3 users (who sometimes interact with each other) are the same person and you won’t convince me otherwise. Even if 3 different people approach me to claim their own account I’d tell them that they’re all sharing the same brain cells and that’s even worse. And maybe this goes deeper and there are more replicas but I have already spent an embarrassingly large amount of time finding just these 3.

[sanstropfremir]

I absolutely LOVED reading your kingdom review. You gave me such an insight in things I never even considered, especially since our rankings are so different from each other. The Boyz was my favorite, the narrative was about RTK. How they felt bad for having to compete against their friends but eventually the groups only lifted each other up and it helped TBZ grow into the group they are now through the hardships and mental dilemma, falling into the next challenge right after they reached the top. It should have been more obvious though, I agree, it wasn't really visible for anyone who didn't know. I was wondering how you felt about the dancing in general? my reason for not ranking BTOB high was lack of choreo (and Peniel's verse), same goes for SF9. Mostly because I don't feel the hype when watching, it doesn't keep my focus on the stage. As a baby-performer myself, my goal is to make the viewer curious about what's next. is that the wrong way to look at it? that's what I've always been told, building the tension up and down to create focus. would love to hear your feedback on that! thank you so much for sharing, we need more reviews of people who actually know what they're talking about.

i'm glad that you got some insight from it! like i answered in the previous ask im here to hopefully bring some more depth and understanding for people that care and are curious!

you unintentionally proved my point about tbz’s performance: that is way too complicated! even the most talented solo dancers i can think of would have trouble distilling that down to something readable in 100 seconds, much less a group of like, a dozen people! the introductory stages are meant to show us the character of the group and their abilities in the most concise way possible, it's not the stage to do deep philosophical and emotional introspection. for a full stage? absolutely, go hog wild! but for this stage it was too ambitious and ultimately was ineffective to anyone that isn't a fan of them specifically. 

by dancing in general do you mean like, every group? i put most of my opinions on the dancing where i had them in each of the individual rankings but honestly? unless there is something that really stands out positively or negatively, a lot of ‘average’ kpop dance looks the same to me. i know it’s not, obviously, and if pressed i probably could do a more serious breakdown, but dance is only one element of performance. it has equal weight with all the others in my mind, and therefore i notice when it is either 

very good

does something unique

very bad, or

interferes with another element

which is the same as how i evaluate every element, if that makes sense. 

hmmmm. i thought about this a lot in the shower and turns out i had more opinions that i expected so i'll put them under a cut.

firstly, i don't think lack of choreo should be penalized or considered an ‘incomplete’ performance. at the end of the day, these are bands, and a part of their brand/product they sell is the music. complex choreo does not need to be attached to that to make it a successful performance. also, btob did have choreo. any movement on stage is technically choreography. but this terminology can cause confusion so usually non-dance choreo is referred to as ‘blocking.’ but they also did include the song’s original point choreo at 1.41. the blocking in their performance was well thought out and suited the arrangement, by placing spatial emphasis on each part of the song that needed it. obviously it comes down to personal taste if the performance is ultimately ‘successful,’ because all art is subjective, but just because something isn't as visually complex as something else doesn’t mean it doesn't have the same level of thought. think of it like this: one is a super clean-lined post-post-modern grey/white living room, and the other is a kitsch goth basement. both share interior design principles and have obvious care put into the space, but they are vastly different styles that appeal to different tastes.

part of the job of production designer/AD is to decide what gets emphasis. a question you're always asking yourself is ‘is this important to the story that we’re trying to tell?’ and btob/their AD made a very smart choice with their introductory stage because it says a lot about them and their abilities in a short amount of time. that stage said ‘our foundation is strong, we have the training and experience and confidence to be up here and not rely on visual tricks.’ because they know they physically cannot do the things the 4th gen groups can; they're a decade older and they only have four members, it's just not feasible. something you learn with experience is the power that specific and pointed emphasis holds, which segues into my answer to your last question. i don't necessarily think that ‘building hype’ is the wrong way to perform something, but i do think it is a flawed way to approach creating a performance.

i think that ‘hype’ is flawed concept at its core, and one that focuses on the idea that there’s always being something more, something next, beyond the work itself. now there’s nothing wrong with playing with tension within the internal structure of a piece, that's exactly how constructing a narrative happens. however, the flaws come once we extrapolate beyond the boundaries of that individual work. the idea of ‘whats next’ implies that you have to constantly be promoting, have a sequel coming, building hype etc so people will keep engaged with your work. which is deeply capitalistic in nature and operates on the assumption that art exists purely as a product to be sold. and in order to keep selling you need to keep making a bigger and better and more spectacular product. and this is not the case at all. marketability is not the essence of art, it merely a factor of creating it under this insufferable system. kpop in particular suffers from this because the industry is specifically fabricated to produce capitol. we can have discussions all day about idols and their artistic integrity but at the end of that day, they are all cogs working with a system that was specifically made up by essentially one person to be culturally exported and to just print buckets of money. so in following that train of thought, there is a constant attitude of bigger and better because shock value (whether positive or negative) gets social media attention and therefore it sells. and it has become exponentially easier (and also seemingly required) to make things that are bigger and better than ever before. i remember being blown away by the projection floor at the sochi 2014 olympics because something of that scale and complexity would never have been possible without literally having the funding of the olympics. now that technology is easily accessible to anyone with an amazon account and the time to learn how isadora works. in comparison, it took 2400 YEARS for just the job of a ‘theatre designer’ to be even become a job at all.

because of kpop’s fan culture it is especially prone to ‘hype’ behaviour. in general with the accessibility of the internet and social media, everything has turned into a competition, and who can generate the most buzz ‘wins’. but ultimately that has taken away the general public’s ability to recognize that you can enjoy something quietly and you can enjoy something slowly. that the enjoyment of something doesn’t need to be all exclamation marks and keysmashes and trending hashtags on twitter. there is value in a work engaging in an emotion within you that is not just excitement. most of the artists and companies that i consume the work of i don’t do so because their work makes me excited, i do so because i liked the experience of engaging with that work. several years ago i saw the eternal tides by legend lin dance theatre, which you can watch a really short clip of here. that is not slow motion, that is actually how slow the dancers are moving. and 90% of the show is performed like that. and its two hours long. and it was one of the most incredible performances i've ever seen. if i ever get the chance I will go see another one of their shows again, not because i care about how they can top that experience i had, but because i know they can produce that experience, and that is enough to make me want to seek them out again. the speed of the internet has also loosened the general public’s understanding of just exactly how long creating a performance work can take. the lead dancer in the eternal tides was with the company for eight years before she and the piece were ready enough to be performed. large scale operas, musicals, and plays often have a year or more of pre-production before they even get to rehearsal. smaller theatre companies workshop new pieces for years at a time. performance is hard and it takes time. you can eliminate some of that with sheer amounts of money and people, which is what the kpop industry has done, but it speeds up the cycle of consumption to a degree that is not sustainable, especially for companies and creators who do not have that kind of access. performers and performance makers often don't put enough trust in their audiences. if they like what they see, they will come back. they dont need to be constantly bombarded with content at all times.

now that i’ve said a bit about why i think hype is a flawed concept, let's bring it back to kingdom. sf9 did something very interesting with their stage in that they actively chose to limit their dance time. and this plays very well off the performance film stage that taeyang did a couple of weeks ago. taeyang is talented and confident (for good reason), and his solo was incredible. but when it came to the intro stage, instead of trying to one-up the solo stage, the group instead said ‘well people are going to be looking at us because taeyang is insanely talented, so let's show them that we ALL have the confidence and the attitude to be up here.’ no need for flashy theatrics, they had the foresight to do something that would make them stand out from the rest of the groups. even if i was just casually watching the stages without doing any analysis on them (like i did for rtk), i would still be able to distinguish them because they had the stones to stand around for half their stage time. now i recognize them and would like to see what else they can do. same principle as what btob and also what ikon did. there is a fine line between anticipation and hype that gets equated in media consumption nowadays, but the two are not the same.

i think the tldr on this is that you dont need to ‘build hype’ or ‘go all out’ to make an interesting work. just focus on telling the narrative that you want to tell, and the people that recognize that will come. i could have a lot more things to say about peoples shrinking attention spans and the constant stream of information that we consume on a daily basis that devalues the labour done by artists in the eyes of the public and promotes hustle culture that is burning out and damaging creators at a rate that is both exponential and frightening, but that’s probably for another time, because this is SO LONG

[kareofbears]

Thoughts on Shusumi as a ship?

i think ive stared at this ask long enough to type out something half decent 

short answer: no, sorry not for me, but its not her fault.

the rest is under the cut because i love to prattle

long answer: ive talked about this before and ill keep talking about it, which is the tragedy of yoshizawa sumire’s character. basically atlus decided that they wanted to make sumire the perfect girl in the entire game. she has to hit every single box on the waifu checklist without fail.

they introduce her as the mysterious character--she saves joker right  at the beginning of the game and its supposed to be a shocking moment for returning players because ‘why does joker need help from some girl oh my she must be so cool!’ and immedietely youre supposed to be intrigued by her and her mystery. but then right after they do that, they re introduce her by doing the most stereotypical archetype of the male love interest saving the cute small girl from a creepy man to show how good of a guy he is and in that moment Atlus had locked themselves into an uneven power dynamic between shusumi--she feels indebted to him because he saved her! so she has to work hard to make it up to him! classic anime trope because dudebros love that whole ‘girl throws herself at me because of how amazing i am’ thing. and its supposed to be a fun play because ‘how fun, they saved each other’ but honestly sumire literally did not need to save joker in sae’s palace because???? what??? it just doesnt make sense?????? even the game couldnt explain that part properly afterwards. 

and to add insult to injury, they make her call him senpai. theres this trope in anime called the imoto trope which translates to “little sister.” this could be non-sexual/romantic but many times it just means that a girl looks for guidance to a male figure in her life so he can “protect” her so she feels indebted/reliant to him, etc. the fact that shes the only one calling him senpai makes her perfectly slot into the imoto trope. it’s tripe. its annoying. its demeaning. it’s especially infuriating because futaba is already the imoto figure in this stupid game and she works perfectly without a romantic subplot. they just want to give akira another leg-up over sumire for the dudebros because dudebros eat that kind of shit up

and thats the most annoying thing!! 

look, i love yoshizawa sumire with my entire heart. shes a great character with an incredible backstory. ive written a lot of fic about her. i love her. shes great. Atlus knows shes great--they made her great because in order to make a perfect waifu you need to make her three dimensional because the dudebros would never accept a half-assed waifu because jeez who do you think we are

but. atlus did this horrifically infuriating thing where they know sumire is great BUT they did it in a way where she will never ever be better than, or threaten the power and competence, of the player.

its like they’re (atlus) playing the most infuriating game of im not touching you when they were trying to make sumires character. they make this character and she’s super cool (but not rude! because if shes rude then shes a bitch and she wont be waifu material!) and she’s a badass (but she isnt as good as joker! because he still has to be the most skillful character for some reason!) she has to be pretty (but she can’t be interested in shopping or makeup because shes supposed to be smart and not like other girls!)

because atlus miscalculated while they were developping sumire--because they were so desperate in making her a three dimmensional character (because remember, she can’t be one of those normal girls, she has to be different), they erased who she was to the point that she isn’t a character anymore. she’s a girl that’s ten tropes rolled into one--she’s the badass good girl, she’s a girl with a   tragic backstory so akira can ‘fix’ her (her flaws are all accounted for and fixed and that is not a good thing in writing but i wont get into it now). its like they wrote this great backstory for a character and then panicked that you might not like her, so they shoved in twelve other tactics to make her likeable.

she’s pretty, she’s deep, she’s perfect. she’s hollow. Yoshizawa Sumire only exists to be a love interest in persona 5 royal. 

she can’t stand on her own legs as a character because she isn’t a character--she’s only there to be akira’s perfect other half; from her metaverse outfit, to the weirdly frequent and often one-on-one hangouts the two of them have, to their boss battle??? (oh yes a boss battle is necessary so that these two characters can move past whatever feud they have so their relationship can strengthen and they’re even more perfect together, etc, its another way atlus is forcing us to see how great sumire and akira are together) 

and that’s why i dont like shusumi as a ship. because why in hell is atlus trying to shove this “perfect waifu” down our throats when its supposed to be the player’s choice? we as the players have no choice but to see sumire constantly. its like atlus doesnt trust us to see how great their new character is on our own--which is a shame, because ironically if they had given us less sumire screentime i probably would have like how she was used way more. 

atlus tried too hard, and that was the cause of sumire’s downfall, and by extension, the downfall of shusumi. 

short explanation part two: anyway shusumi isnt for me because it never stood a chance against akiryu

if you like shusumi, great! good for you. but if i was, say, a shuann shipper, i would be so so so annoyed because its like atlus just shafted all of their other characters to make room for their shiny new one.

I don't like shusumi because the result was not enough given the sheer amount of screentime that that had together. It did not justify how much time and development it took away from the other characters. Atlus weakened it's own game by devoting so much of it to shusumi.