#and like ten people are going to read it soooooo

[7-wonders]

Literally, if Calliope held my face and gave the affection that’s described in World We Dream About, I would fucking die. All I can think about is how the reader could only wonder how Morpheus would ever separate himself from someone as tender, gentle, and utterly radiant as her-

(Read more of my Calliope/Morpheus/Reader stuff here!)

"Can I ask you something?"

You're sitting in the gardens of the palace of the Dreaming with the Lord of Dreams himself, who slowly looks up at you over the top of his book (some report on a nightmare doing who knows what) like you're a nuisance. You know that's not the case though, since he's the one that sought you out and invited you to join him.

After your...memorable first meeting with Morpheus, followed by a tearful goodbye with the woman goddess who had been your roommate for the past few months, you had never been expecting to see either again. They were important beings of myth and legend, after all—you were just a regular human. Practically nothing compared to them! That's why it was so surprising when you went to sleep barely a week later and found yourself face-to-face with the Sandman once more.

"I owe you a boon, whether you believe yourself worthy or not," he said. "And I imagine that you have many questions relating to the information you received that fateful night. Therefore, you may ask me your questions, and I shall do my best to answer them."

He was right, of course. You did have questions. So many of them that it almost made your head spin when you tried to think of the first one that you wanted to ask. But ask you did, and he dutifully answered each and every one of them.

It was definitely appreciated, and you felt that the conversation gave you a lot of answers and closure to this chapter of your life. In your mind, it was the end of a chapter. Calliope was gone, off to Greece and Mount Olympus and her sisters with no sign that you would ever see her again. Morpheus had deigned to meet with you once more, and now that his perceived obligation was fulfilled, you expected that to be the end of any sort of magic in your life.

But then you saw him again.

And again.

And again.

Now, you see him at least once a week. Each time, he comes to you in your dreams, and each time, he acts as though he's simply being charitable by offering Calliope's human friend some company. You know that's not the case, though. No, Morpheus will never admit it, but you think he's lonely. And now that you both have a shared person, that gives him a connection with someone...even if that someone is the mortal that his ex-wife found herself accidentally belonging to in what you can say in retrospect was a true comedy of errors.

"You just did," he points out cheekily.

You remain unamused and roll your eyes. "C'mon, you know what I mean."

He nods. "I do. Continue."

"Please don't answer if it makes you uncomfortable, but I'm curious. Why...why did you and Calliope break up?" How did you manage to so severely fumble the bag? is what you really want to ask. "I mean, she's Calliope."

What you mean by, "she's Calliope," is, of course, that she's Calliope. Beautiful and kind, wise and strong, charming and witty, and a whole dictionary's worth of other characteristics that can only hope to capture who she is. You had never met a person like her before, and you doubt you'll ever meet somebody like her again.

Most mortals wouldn't dare to speak to an Endless like you just did. Unfortunately, prior experience has made you bold, and you know now that Morpheus is begrudgingly fond of you and therefore won't smite you if you overstep. Somewhere along the way, you stopped feeling so wary of the Dreamlord. Now, you like to think that your relationship is something close to a sort of friendship.

(If you're being honest with yourself, lately your feelings for Morpheus are complicated, as are your feelings for Calliope. That's a conversation for another day, and it definitely does not factor into your current conversation, thank you very much.)

A small, small smile plays on his lips, Morpheus understanding exactly what you mean. "Yes, she is. We were both much younger in the days of our marriage, if one as young as yourself can believe such a thing."

You appreciate that he's trying to find a bit of humor in what is assuredly a heavy moment, so you smile encouragingly at him.

"Mistakes were made by both of us throughout the course of our relationship, myself more. Ultimately, it was..." Morpheus pauses, and when he speaks again, it's much quieter. "In the end, the loss of our son proved too much for us to overcome together."

Well, now you feel bad. Calliope had only talked to you about Orpheus a handful of times, but with what little information you have, you know just how loved he was by his parents, and just how devastated they still remain by what happened. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked."

He shakes his head. "When last we parted, Calliope suggested to me that it would be wise for us to talk about Or—our son together. That remembering him might help to be able to properly grieve." Morpheus says that last word like it's foreign to him. It probably is, actually. "I am starting to find that she is right."

"She's right a lot. It's kind of annoying," you commiserate.

This helps to break the heaviness that talking about death (not Death) and loss brings, and Morpheus lets out a breath in his version of a laugh. "She does tend to be right fairly often."

Now that your question is answered and you know that you didn't just ruin his day, you gesture towards his book. "Okay, I won't bother you anymore, promise."

"You are not nearly as bothersome as you believe yourself to be." He gets a look in his starry eyes when he says this, one that conveys there is much more being left unsaid within this single sentence.

His confession makes your chest feel warm, and you try not to act as pleased as you are. "I'll endeavor not to change that, then."

[ganggangscenarios]

Diamond Heart

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Summary: You finally decide to utilise your gym membership. Personal trainer!Jungkook

Genre: Romance, comedy, smut, angst

Warnings: Body image. Negative language. Heavy smut scene at the end.

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This is the second time I've uploaded this story. The first time, I received some pretty mean comments and messages. SOOOOOO I have to say, if you don't like. my writing, that's fine, just exit my page lol. Do not leave mean comments please.

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New year, new you, right? Your new years resolution was to get your body right, eat healthily, drink less and most importantly; get in the gym. However, it had been months since the new year had begun and you still hadn’t utilised your gym membership. The fee was regularly from your bank account every month and you had yet to step foot into the establishment. You frowned every time you saw the transaction on your bank statement, but you did absolutely nothing about it. 

But the influence of  social media made you feel like you wanted to try and be a gym girlie. So you took your gym bag  to work, placed It under your desk so you didn’t have any excuse not to go. Plus, the gym was quite literally in your work building. 

You sigh change into untouched gym clothes that you had bought all the way back at the end of December, preparing for your new year’s resolution. Shame rushes over your body as you tear the tags from the tight fitting clothes and chuck them into the sanitary bin next to the toilet. Huffing and puffing you slide your socked feet into new exercise shoes. Stuffing your work clothes into the bag, you exit the bathroom stall and catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. You didn’t look too bad, you looked like someone who was ready to workout. If you looked the part, you could play the part. 

Lugging the bag over your shoulder, you head to the gym. 

It was pretty empty, you were surprised, as the majority of colleagues held a membership, considering all employees got a ten percent discount as your employers owned the building.

You guess that people don’t usually come straight from work, they most likely go home and come back. But not everyone suffers from severe procrastination like you do. 

Heading to the changing rooms, to put your bag away, you pass a very good looking man, you almost trip over as your eyes stick to him. He dressed in a baggy white shirt and shorts, his feet adorned in similar shoes to yours. His hair was cut in a cool way, it was kinda long, considering all the men at work and currently surrounding him, all sported cropped haircuts. His ears and his lips were embellished with piercings, you almost walked into a wall when you saw him playing with his lip piercings, the tip of his tongue, just grazing the shiny metal. Your gaze fleetingly drops to his arm, his tattooed arm. How was a man like this working here? He should be on the cover of vogue or something. 

Tearing your eyes away from him, you manage to make it into the changing room, unscathed. You quickly lock away your bag and head back out onto the main floor, phone and AirPods in hand, ready to tackle the gym. And then it hits you a ton of bricks. You have no idea what you’re doing. You didn’t know where to start, what equipment does what, what part of your body to focus on. 

You look around at people lifting weights, running on the treadmills, using the equipment like pros.

Your eyes focus in on the 'smoke show' of a man that ‘briefly’ caught your eye earlier.  He was now sitting behind the front desk and under a large poster for personal trainers. The poster read ‘In the body gym: PT sessions available; first 2 sessions are free’. And if a sign from the universe, it doesn’t fail to mention how the offer is time limited. You take it as a sign, plus you were most likely going to try the gym twice before never going again. Might as well get free personal training out of it.

With determination, you walk towards the front desk, before stopping in front of that man of a man.  And that’s when the words on your tongue freeze. 

Jungkook notices a presence looming over him and he puts the finishing touches on the next promotional poster. He looks up and smiles. He noticed you when you first came in, you were a new face, he knew all the regulars who attended the gym and he had never seen you before. He would definitely remember a face like yours. He stands up.

“Hello, how can I help you?” He rests his tattooed hand on the desk and he notice how your eyes grow larger at the sight.

Your words are still finding it hard to get out of your mouth. You probably look like such a weirdo, standing there and staring at him. You manage to lift your finger and gesture to the poster behind him.

He smiles and his smile is the brightest smile you’ve ever seen.

“You want to book a PT session?” 

You nod and swallow the lump that had been lodged in your throat since you walked up to the desk.

“Sorry, yes, I’d like to book five.” You fumble to pull out your credit card from the back of your phone.

“I can just add the fee to your account. You don’t need to pay directly. The fee won’t be noticeable until the third session, on the account of our offer.” He leans forward to adjust your account. 

You can see down his shirt from the angle. And by the sight you can tell that he works in a gym. Hell, he might even live in it. 

He clicks a few times and quickly straightens back up, you swiftly divert your gaze.

“You are free to start your first session today.” He comes out from behind the desk and he towers over you, your knees buckle. Maybe that’s something you need to work on. Do your knees have muscles? Can you make them stronger?

“Okay, should I wait here for the trainer?” You ask.

He goes behind the desk, ducks down and then comes back out.

He extends his hand and you stare at him in confusion.

He retracts his hand, and rubs the back of his neck.

“I don’t know why I did that…” He awkwardly chuckles, shaking his head.

It can’t be. There’s no way that he’s your P-

“I’m your trainer. I hope that’s okay, the other guys are fully booked and I had a cancellation today, so I thought it’d be a cute joke…” He trails off, taking note of the smile growing across your face.

You feel kinda at ease seeing him get a little awkward attempting to joke with you. He looked like he should be the cockiest motherfucker ever, but second by second he was proving that he was the complete opposite of that. It was endearing but there was no way he could be your personal trainer, not like you had a shot with him anyway, he probably had a really fit and hot girlfriend. You digress, you didn’t want him to see you all sweaty, breathing hard and struggling to complete simple moves. 

He looks at you, his eyes doubling in size. He can tell you’re slightly uncomfortable, he could almost visualise the Neurons firing off in your head. He was attracted to you, that’s for sure, he wasn’t trying to come off as creepy. Maybe he did, and now you don’t want to train with him, maybe you’ll cancel your membership too.

He rapidly looks around the gym, hoping to catch the eye of one of his colleagues, so he could offer to trade clients. He catches Namjoon’s eye, but before he could call him over, you speak;

“It was funny, I’m just a bit scared.”

His gaze meets your eyes again. He internally feels a huge rush of relief. Thank goodness he didn’t scare you away.

“Oh good.” He tucks his hair behind his ear.

Cute. You think.

“Why are you scared?” He quickly follows up.

Shifting your weight between your feet, you answer, your voice barely audible over the EDM base leaking through the speakers.

“I don’t want to embarrass myself. You’re a professional and I don’t want to make a fool of myself.” You play with your earbud case, avoiding eye contact.

You wouldn’t be his first client who had that same fear, it was completely natural to be scared of embarrassing yourself. He felt the same way when he started boxing, the first session was nerve-racking, scared of getting anything wrong. But all you need is a good and supportive trainer. And if says so himself, that’s what he thinks he is.

“Don’t be scared. I’m here to help you. We’ll start slow, okay?” He offers a warm smile and places his large hand on your shoulder.

You almost fall from the feeling of his hand on your bare shoulder. Yes, you were acting like a teenage girl who had never interacted with a man before. But look at him. You were a grown ass woman who had never interacted with a man that looked like him before.

He leads you over to a room separate from the rest of the gym, closed off with glass doors, allowing you to see the whole place. Inside the room were a few exercise balls, foam roller and weights. The floor was soft and covered in mats.

He takes you over to the furthest mat in the room.

“Just me and you here, so don’t be nervous. This section is pretty discreet.” He reassures you.

You smile and place your phone and earbuds down on the floor next to the two mats you were currently occupying.

“We are going to start with stretching, so please sit down. I might have to help you with some of the positions. I hope you don’t mind being stretched…” His voice quietens as he realises how it sounds.

His cheeks flush a pretty pink. A hot flash that runs through you, leaves a thin layer of sweat on your hairline.

And so it begins.

The next morning you wake up sore as fuck. All that extra stretching at the end of the session seemed useless now. Your legs feel like lead as you swing them out of bed and headed to the bathroom. As you sit on the toilet, your thighs scream at you, it was almost as if you could feel every fibre of your muscles tear. 

Your phone buzzes on the countertop. Finishing your business, you wash your hands and run the shower.

You tap the screen on your phone to see a message from Jungkook. He said it was important to have direct contact with each other, just incase he wanted to recommend some gym wear or if you had any questions. 

Jungkook (Gym): ’Hope yesterday didn’t tire you out too much. You did great 👏 ‘

Another comes in as you finish reading.

Jungkook (Gym): ‘I hope to see you at the gym (or outside) soon! Make sure to book another session! 😊’

You quickly pick up your phone, steam fills the room as the water continues to gush from the pipes.

It vibrates in your hand.

Jungkook (Gym): ‘Sorry if that was unwarranted.’

It vibrates again. You didn’t want to risk opening the messages just incase you were unsure of what to say. You really didn’t want to leave him on read unintentionally.

Jungkook (Gym): ‘Please ignore the last two messages 😣 .’ 

Jungkook (Gym): ‘Lets pretend that didn’t happen. Sorry for the spam 😔 

You click on the notification and unlock your phone. 

You: Its okay 😆  My body feels like its on fire every time I move, is that normal?

You fire off the text.

Jungkook (Gym): ‘Yes 😂  completely normal. You should buy a foam roller to massage your muscles~ But more stretching should help in the mean time. Here is a video to follow (its me btw 😳)’

He sends a link to a Youtube video. You’re intrigued. The gym seemingly had a YouTube channel. The link loads and then you see Jungkook on your screen. Holding the phone in one hand, you quickly turn off the shower and head to your bedroom. Careful not to walking into any walls, you sit on your bed. 

He greets the audience cheerfully, informing them that this was a tutorial for stretching to relieve muscle ache. He is wearing the gym’s merch, not like when you saw him the day before, it wasn’t a baggy t-shirt, no. This time it was a form fitting sleeveless, lycra shirt, with the gym’s logo nestled between his sculpted pecs. His vibrant tattoos more on show than they were in person. His legs were wrapped in shorts, that fell just above his knees. 

He encourages the viewers to get an exercise mat or find a soft surface. You follow his instruction. A loud groan escapes your lips as you struggle to sit down.

He sports the brightest smile as he guides the (most likely thirsty) watchers through the exercises.

You strain your muscles as you attempt to  toe touch. And then he says something that brings you back to the previous day, during your session.

“You might need a partner to stretch you, if you can’t get far enough. It’ll feel really good.”

You were being advised on how to stretch and then when it came to this specific stretch. You were laying on your back, hands clasped around your knee. You knew that you weren’t flexible, but  you didn’t know that you were this stiff. You tried your best to pull your leg into your chest, but you couldn’t anything.

“Its not working.” You say, letting your leg drop to the ground with a thud.

Jungkook chuckles and looks down at you, arms crossed, his biceps bulging. The strength it took to not stare was more than what you used to lift the weights.

“I think you need help.” He kneels down in front of you.

He pauses.

“I can help you, if you want.” 

You nod.

He mutters an ‘okay, great’, before asking you to resume the position. He moves forward, putting his body over yours, placing his hands on your calf and pushing your leg up and down.

You almost moan with how good the stretch felt. You try your damn hardest not to concentrate on the man who was currently on top of you. You tried not to take notice of his scent, or the small scar on his cheek, or the mole under his lip.

“Can you feel it now?” He smirks.

He knew you could feel it, he heard the noise you let slip. He tries not to think anything of it, but his mind runs wild. He had to be professional. Plus you hadn’t indicated that you were interested in him in the slightest.

You nod again. He sits back on his heels and lets go of your leg.

You’re pulled out of your reminiscent state by a notification and the sound of the phone vibrating against the floor.

Jungkook (Gym): Did it help? 😢 

You quickly reply with no thoughts. Empty headed.

You: Its not the same without you

He was gonna think you were like all those other woman in the gym who thirsted over him. You needed to fix it.

You quickly send another message.

You: *your help ☺️ 

Jungkook’s heart sank at your correction. Maybe you weren’t interested. You probably in a relationship and the last thing you wanted to deal with was a creepy PT harassing you. He doesn’t reply.

You spend your whole shower thinking about being left on read.

Your closest co-worker, Bethany, sits across from you during in lunch. She notices how you barely make conversation, or keep the conversation. You check your phone every 5 minutes.

“Who are we waiting for?” She asks, her fork digging around in her bowl.

“Huh?” 

She chuckles.

“You’re obviously waiting for someone to text. You keep on looking at phone like every two seconds. So, who are we waiting for?”

You didn’t know you were being that obvious. 

“Well… My personal trainer is a total twenty out of ten. And he messaged me this morning to give me some stretching tips, and I may have ended our last convo on a creepy note. And now I think that he’s ghosting me because I was a creep. He probably blocked me. I’m probably banned from the gym.” Words rush out of your sauce covered lips. Maybe spaghetti wasn’t the best meal to have in the middle of the day.

Bethany shoves a napkin in your face, which you accept gratefully. She request to see the messages. Embarrassed, you hand your phone over to her.

She remains silent as she scrolls down the screen.

“He has a crush on you.” She finally speaks, her eyes fixed on the screen, her thumb pressing down. She was doing more than looking at the messages.

“You better not be sending another message.” You warn her, hand reaching across the table.

She swiftly moves her chair back, so your phone is out of reach.

“If you don’t snatch him up, someone else will. Oh my God, he is…” She doesn’t finish her sentence, she turns the screen towards you. And you freeze. It is a picture of a rather muscular man’s bare back, the hair at the nape of his neck was wet with sweat. And the tattooed arm… You knew that arm. It was in your dreams last night.

“W-where did you find that?”

She smiles and her thumb resumes the swiping motion.

“It was in his previous profile pictures.” She leans back in her chair.

“His picture is a brown dog.” You sit back, the image burnt into your eyes.

How were suppose to act now that you’ve seen that?  All you can imagine is digging your nails into that back as-

See? You’ve been corrupted. No, you must be ovulating, that why the impure thoughts plague your mind. You’ve seen good looking men before, but you’ve never had such a primal reaction before. You also didn’t know him well enough to like anything besides his looks. His very, very, very good looks.

“He has a ton of pictures. He may be the first guy ever who’s good at taking pictures. Damn, look at this.” She turns the screen towards you once more. This time he was standing in a mirror, hair slicked back and in a black button down. 

“I can never go back to the gym. I guess my new years resolution is not going to be fulfilled.” You sigh, leaning forward to put your head in your arms.

Suddenly, Bethany gasps.

“He replied.” She smiles.

Your heart drops to your stomach. 

“I can’t look. You read it.” You close your eyes, not wanting to look at her face.

She clicks on the notification. It felt as if seconds were taking hours to pass.

“Aww~” 

Your head pops up, eyes shoot open.

“Aww?” 

She nods.

“He said ‘I’d be glad to help, I like you.”

You lunge forward and grab the device out of her hand.

It shakes in your hand

Jungkook (Gym): * your company 😜 

Your heartbeat quickens and a smile spreads across your face. He was nicely making fun of you, recalling back to your little save earlier.

“If you don’t go for it, I will.” Bethany jokes, her engagement ring, glistening under the lighting of the restaurant.

You sit back in your chair, clutching the phone, thinking of a reply. The phone buzzes again.

Jungkook (Gym): I hope I didn’t ruin my chances of asking you out for dinner after our training sessions. I hope it didn’t come off as creepy 🤢 

You didn’t dwell on a reply, you thumbs swiftly move across the screen as you type out a reply.

You: Why wait? 🫤 

Jungkook didn’t want to rush anything just incase the attraction was purely physical. You still had four sessions left. He didn’t want to put either of you in that uncomfortable position of feeling like you were stuck with someone you had a bad experience with. What if you found him boring, or strange, or creepy? Oh he was so stupid, luckily you seemed interested, but he didn’t even ask if you were single or not, he just pounced on you like some sort of predator.

Jungkook (Gym): I want you to keep on coming to the gym. I want it to go well.

Your heart melts.  It was endearing. That someone that looked like him could be nervous. 

You send a heart emoji and lock your phone, placing it screen down on the table. As you’re about to open your mouth to discuss your messages with Bethany, your phone rings. Flipping it up, you see the name on the screen; Jungkook.

You show Bethany. She snatches the device from you and answers it, shoving it to your ear.

“Hello?” You say.

“Hi. How are you?” His silky, yet raspy voice bleeds through the speakers.

Your eyes zero in on the left over food on your plate, your finger mindlessly tracing patterns into the table.

“I-I’m good. You?” 

You could hear the EDM music that played in the gym come through the phone. It must be at work.

“Same. Uh, do you want to come in today? I could help the soreness go away? Well, not completely, but feel better?” He suggests, shyly. You practically see his tattooed arm raise to go behind his neck to shake through the back of his hair.

You didn’t have any plans to go to the gym for another 2 days Your sweaty clothes were still stuffed in your gym bag next to your front door. You hadn’t even bothered to put them in the laundry.

“Uh… I don’t have my gym clothes today.” You lean back in your chair.

Jungkook was unsure of how he was going to come off but he had to try. He really wanted to see you, he felt pathetic having a crush like this. Pursuing a crush like this.

“We have gym apparel here.” He says.

You almost scoff. Not meaning to come off as condescending. You try to disguise the scoff as a cough.

“I’m not really a gym girlie. So I’m not into buying gym clothes like that… I’ll be come in on Friday tho-“

He cuts you off.

“I’m looking at the system now and your membership actually expires tomorrow. You signed up for a 6 month contract and well… its been 6 months.” 

He was telling the truth, but he was coming off as desperate.

“Oh. Um, Its my lunch break right now, I guess I could quickly come in to renew. I’ll be there soon.”

You both mutter a quick farewell before ending the phone call.

“Sounds like he really wants to see you.”

You walk into the gym, feeling slightly uneasy dressed in your work clothes, your heels sinking into the padded floor. You immediately spot Jungkook who was currently with a client at one of the machines, a young woman who looked like she didn’t really need to be in the gym, but thats probably what hard work and dedication gets you. Results. He was dressed casually as always, a t-shirt and baggy shorts. This time a beanie encased his raven locks. You rip your gaze away from the two of them and head to the front desk. A young man greets you, you read his name tag ‘Namjoon’. He was tall, buff and oh so handsome. Was that the requirement to work at this gym?

How can I help you today?” Namjoon asks.

“Hi, I need to renew my membership.” You start.

The man smile, his dimple becoming more prominent with every tooth that displays.

“Sure, what’s your name?” His fingers ready to enter your information into the computer.

You give him your name, placing your handbag on to the counter to find your ID just incase.

Namjoon’s eyebrows reach his hairline and his yells for Jungkook. You’re startled at the sudden outburst. You look up at him in confusion. He gives you a curt smile before backing away from the counter and jogging over to Jungkook. You follow him with your eyes as he approaches Jungkook. You’re unable to hear their conversation as a count of the the loud music and the distance. You see Jungkook turn to his client and she dismounts from the machine and takes a swig of water. The two men exchange a few words before Jungkook heads your way. He approaches you with a gleaming smile on his face. You return a shy grin.

He jogs behind the counter.

“Is there a problem? Couldn’t Namjoon, is that his name? Couldn’t he do it?” You tilt your head in wonder.

Jungkook felt a pang of jealousy in his chest, he didn’t enjoy the fact that you seemed to want Namjoon to assist you when he was right there.

You notice his eyes flicker and his smile falter.

“You looked busy, I didn’t want to bother you.” You reach your hand out in defence.

His smile returns at its luminescence.

“Its no bother. I was expecting you.” Types in your information into the system and prints out a new contract. He quickly turns around to grab the sheet of paper from the printer. You take the time to admire his back, the image of his shirtless back flashing through your mind. 

Your thoughts are interrupted when he puts the contract down on the counter and gestures to the pen perched in it’s stand. He tells you where to sign. You quickly sign and date on the dotted line before handing it back to him.

“Do you want to grab dinner tonight?” He asks.

You’re taken aback by the sudden invite. 

Before you could respond, Jungkook’s client saunters over to the two of you.

“Kookie, are we going to finish the session?” She leans on the counter, and you take the opportunity to take a glance at her body. She had the physique of a dancer, or a model. She was definitely on someone’s (your) vision board.

You weren’t an overly insecure person, but thats was mostly because you kept to yourself  and limited your use of social media. But in times like these, when you unintentionally comparing yourself to another woman who was just simply existing in the presence of a good looking man. You wrap your blazer around your waist trying to shield your shape as you feel her eyes dart up and down your body.

“Yeah give me one second.” He doesn’t turn away from you.

Jungkook was about to open his mouth, when the lady interrupts;

“He’s really good. He’ll get you into shape in no time! He also offers meal plans, if he hasn’t told you already.” She gives you the once over one more time. 

You feel yourself fold in. Your shoulder slump and chest caves in. You suddenly become aware of your body and how different it was in comparison to all the people in the gym. In comparison to Jungkook, who was seemingly trying to ask you out right now. You thought of his intentions. Was he trying to garner more business for the gym? Was he going to take you out and suggest that you sign up for more PT sessions? Or maybe he was simply doing his job? And he asked all his clients out to dinner so he could monitor their eating habits?

Or MAYBE it was worse; and he got a kick of leading innocent woman into thinking they had a chance with men like him. And all the people at the gym knew it?

“Clara, I’ll be over in 5 minutes. Namjoon is gonna take over for a while.” He gestures over to Namjoon, who was leaning against a machine, patiently waiting for her to return.

She scoffs before walking away, making a point to sway her hips as she walks away. Jungkook rolls his eyes and looks back at you, a smile resting on his visage.

“Are you free tonight?” He asks, his eyes grow with hope.

The hope soon dissipates when he watches your face distort with uncertainty.

“Look, I don’t want you to go above and beyond for me. I just want to get used to coming to the gym first. Um… I know I’m not a supermodel but-.” He stops you.

“What?” He brows furrow in confusion. He runs through the past few minutes in his head and wonders where he may have misled you. He knew he sometimes had the misfortune of mixing up his words and confusing people, but he honestly didn’t think he mixed up his words this time. He barely spoke.

“I appreciate your help, but please don’t feel obliged to go outside the boundaries of the gym t-.” He cuts you off again.

“Boundaries?” He questions.

You swallow the hard lump that had formed in your throat, you already felt small, but you felt yourself becoming smaller.

“Yeah. I know you offer ‘meal plans’. But we don’t have to go out for dinner in order for you to sell them to me.” You choke out.

Jungkook’s eyebrows raise and his mouth drops open.

“I-I. No.” Is all he can say.

“No?”

“No. I want to take you out because I like you. Well I like what I know of you. I want to get to know you. I think you’re gorgeous by the way.” The last part comes out under his breath.

You’re lost for words, you don’t know whether you should apologise or question his response.

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I wanted to wait until after our sessions were done so you didn’t get the wrong impression.” He looks down at his shoes.

You felt so bad, jumping to conclusions, you were the one who forced to ask you sooner. He was trying to make you comfortable, he never said anything about your appearance or made you feel any less than. You forced your insecurities on a really nice guy, who showed a little interest in you. 

“I’m sorry. Maybe I should get another trainer. And I’m-“ His gaze meets yours, eyes wide.

“No, no! I still want to be your trainer and take you out! I just hope I didn’t give you the wrong impression. I really like you.”

You shift in your spot, clutching your bag.

He pulls his phone from his pocket and taps the screens a few times. He shows you the screen.

“Look, if you don’t want to get dinner, which I understand. Lets go here. Its a painting cafe, its open til late night and they have drinks. Its really chill. You mentioned in our first session how you wanted yo do something creative, right?”

You smile,  he was seemingly trying so hard.

“Okay.” You say, coyly.

He beams.

“Okay?”

You nod.

“I’ll meet you outside at 6:30?” He locks his phone and slides it back into his pocket.

“Okay!” You smile before turning around and walking away.

This time, Jungkook watches you walk away, failing at containing the smile that had exploded on his face.

Jungkook knew his last client of the day felt rushed, he didn’t bother with the final stretches like he usually does, he didn’t even bother to jokingly flirt with the 75 year old woman like he usually did either. He aided her in putting the 2kg weights back on the rack before running into the men’s changing room, stripping and jumping into the shower. 

He scrubbed his body head to toe, making sure to get rid of the grime from the day.

Before he knew it, he was waiting outside of the building, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. He catches a glimpse of his reflection and he immediately fixes his hair, one strand would not stay in its place, he knew he needed to use more hair gel. He should’ve asked Jimin if he could use a little more. 

Staring through the glass, he saw you coming, caught up in the crowd of people who were dying to get home. 

Finally, you come through the doors and walk up to him. You greet him brightly, hoping he can’t hear the nerves plaguing your voice.

He beams at you and asks about your day. He informs you that the place wasn’t too far away and was in walkable distance.

The start of the date was awkward, as expected, no more than a few words at a time being exchanged. He was ever the gentleman, before picking out a design for your canvases, he helped you  out with your apron. You fought to keep your knees from buckling as he came in close from behind to tie the back. You do the same for him, the height difference, between the two of you becoming ver present, as well as the broadness of his back.

The host lead you two a secluded room, as you both clutched your chosen designs in hand. The room was quite romantic, low lighting, except for the luminous light surging each easel. There was a table separating the two chairs, displaying the paint and the brushes. You glance at Jungkook and see the look of glee.

You both place the canvases on the easels and take your seats. The host, takes place in front of the two of you.

“You have 2 and a half hours, you are free to use all the material here. If you need anymore, please press the call button.” She gestures to the button, stuck to the end of the table, covered in the paint bottles.

She continues;

“This is an evening painting session, so we now serve wine at the bar. Selective dishes are also available to order. Coffee and snacks are still available. And… please refrain from any inappropriate behaviour, or you will be asked to leave and banned from the premise. We do have CCTV in each room.” She offers an awkward smile and swiftly leaves the room.

Jungkook hopes you don’t think that he brought you here for illicit reasons. Maybe you’d think he was one of those sleazy guys who take women to private rooms and try it on with them. Shit. You haven’t said anything. Shit. He hasn’t said anything. He’s been in his head for the past few seconds.

“I hope I’m not bad at this.” You say, breaking the silence, with a light laugh.

He turns to you and smiles, picking up a paintbrush and offering it to you. You take it and return the smile.

From then on, the date runs smoothly. You both decide to order a bottle of wine and share a plate of  pasta. One bottle turned into two, and the room was filled with laughter and stories. The misunderstandings of the afternoon long forgotten. Before you knew it, a voice came through a small speaker, you didn’t know was there, reminding you that you had 10 minutes left.

In a burst of tipsy laughter, the two of you hurriedly finish your paintings. 

Picking up your painting and Jungkook to the ‘drying station’, located, near the entrance. You both remove your paint covered aprons before attending to your paintings once again. You take a peek at his masterpiece before you flick on the hairdryer.

“How are you real?” You ask in disbelief.

He tilts his head in confusion.

“You look amazing, you’re nice, and you can paint. What can’t you do?” You giggle.

He laughs and shakes his head.

“No, no. I- You- I mean thank you. But I think the same about you.” He says quickly turning on his hairdryer, aiming it at his picture.

The hum of the machines fill the room, echoing your laughter that once filled your ears. Your ears, that were now flushed with flattery.

The hostess takes both paintings, wrapping them up carefully, and handing you both your respective bags. She taps on the register, reading off the total bill. You reach in your bag to find your card, yeah, it was a date, but you felt strange standing there as Jungkook paid for something that could’ve easily been a platonic date… Your thoughts are interrupted.

“Do you want the receipt?” 

“Huh?” The sound slipped out.

Jungkook looks at you before answering.

“No thank you. Thank you, have a nice evening.”  His free hand grabs yours and he guides you both outside.

So… not a platonic date then.

The street was much busier than it had been than when you had arrived. It was filled with people unwinding after a long day at work, ready for the weekend. It was also littered with loved up couples, holding hands, looking for places to eat, talking to each other about who knows what. If anyone were to look at the two of you, they would think you were one of those lovelorn couples. The way your hand fit in his, pace matching his, laughter mixing harmoniously with his.

“Thank you for tonight. I had so much fun.” You pull him to a stop, pulling him into a side road, away from the foot traffic.

Jungkook feels his heart swell, he was so happy. He felt like it went well, but to hear you say it? Made him feel like he was flying. To think that a few hours ago, it was all almost slipping away from him. He found himself drawn to you, he couldn’t explain it. He always believed that that’s how he’d find his ‘person’. It would just feel right. And it does.

“Me too. Thank you for giving me a chance.” He takes both your hand in his, eyes growing double in size.

You didn’t think it was possible for a man like him to look cute, but here he was, with his eyes shining, looking down at you. Looking as adorable as ever. You move closer, you were aware of your actions, but you also knew that the wine you drank was giving you the courage to do what you were about to do.

“I would like to k-“

“Yes.” A puff of air tickles your lips, as he closes his eyes.

He doesn’t feel anything.

He opens his eyes and steps back.

“Oh I’m sorry, I as-“

You pull him in and plant you lips on his. Its not perfect, you miss slightly, you feel his lips curl into smile. His hand leaves yours and meets your waist, bringing you in closer, he readjusts his lips on yours. His lip rings indenting into the plum flesh of your bottom lip. You have the sudden urge to feel it on your tongue. You swipe your tongue along his bottom lip, letting it tease the metal accessory for a few milliseconds before slipping it into his mouth. A low growl rumbles in his throat and he tangles is tongue with yours. Your hand finds its way to the back of his neck, fingers delving into the hair at the nape of his neck. His hand wonders from your waist to your lower back, fingers inching closer to your behind.

The sound of a throat clearing brings you to a halt.

You separate, the rustling of your bags, sounding like teens laughing at their peers being caught making out at a high school house party.

“We should uh… get going.” You say, using your fingers to wipe the saliva from your mouth. 

Jungkook licks his lips and nods. You were more than ready to go about being awkward and distant but that was never his plan, he grabs your hand and walks with you like he’d been kissing you like that.

He walks you back to the work building and calls you a taxi. You both bid each other a sweet goodnight, exchanging smiles and hugs before parting ways.

Jungkook makes sure to text you as soon as he watches your taxi drive down the road, telling you how much he enjoyed spending time and how he hopes he could do it sometime soon. 

Your heart jumps at the sound of your phone vibrating in your bag. It does backflips as your eyes take in his words. For the second time that evening you ask him;

You: How are you real? 😂 

He smiles to himself as he heads home, he snaps a quick picture of himself and sends it.

Jungkook 💕: Very real and all yours lol

He immediately regrets sending it. Fingers scrambling, he sends a second message.

Jungkook💕: If you’ll have me 🥴 

He must be playing a joke on you, right? What does this tall, handsome, funny, sweet PERSONAL TRAINER want with you? He’s seen you, right? He’s seen the other women who go to his gym, right? 

Jungkook looks at his message and sees the ‘1’ disappear. You read it. And you weren’t replying. He came on too strong. Great, he ruined the perfect evening.

Just as about he was about to type out an apology, your message pops up.

You: Do you have a fetish or something?

He furrows his eyebrows. Figuring texting is messing up true feelings, he presses the voice call button.

Your eyes widen when you see his name on your screen. You pick up.

“Hi.” 

“Hey. Fetish?” He gets right to it.

“Yeah. You know…” Your voice comes out as a whisper.

He stops walking, he sits on a bench.

“I don’t know. To be honest, I’m very confused.”

You felt so embarrassed. You let your insecurities get the best of you and sabotage this relationship before it had the chance to even start. 

“Jungkook. You’re you and…”

You pause. You feel your eyes water. 

“I’m me. I’m not in the best shape and I’m not skinny or have a perfect hourglass figure. I’m definitely  heavier than you.” You let out a dry laugh.

“I’m struggling to understand and believe that you like me. And that this isn’t some sort of sexual thing.” Your breath shakes.

Jungkook’s brows are now in permanent furrowed state, that never crossed his mind. Of course it didn’t because he didn’t think of you like that.

He says your name. It was different from the way you’ve heard it said by other guys before when you’ve brought up the same issue. He didn’t say with defeat or dipped in grease. It was usually followed by ‘you should take it as a compliment, I think big girls are sexy’. ‘I wanted to see what it was like’

Jungkook said nothing of the sort;

‘I’m me and you’re you. I like you. I like everything about you. Well, what I know so far, I want to know more. I want to go on more dates, I want to see where this goes. Hopefully it can go far. I’d really like that. And you may not understand why I like you, but you don’t have to right now, I’ll show you. I’m sorry if a guy has made you feel like you’re a plaything and not likeable. I wish I could punch him.”

You laugh.

“I like hearing you laugh. I want to be the reason for that. Thank you telling me how you feel and not just ghosting. I appreciate it. “ You could hear him smile through the phone.

He couldn’t be real. But you had to tell yourself he was or you’d fuck it up.

“Thank you for not being weirded out.” You sniffle.

He laughs.

“After kissing me like that? I’m locked in.”

2 months later

Jungkook was a very understanding and patient boyfriend. He must’ve gotten a lot of practice from his job as a personal trainer. He pushed you to try new things, go to new places, but he always made sure you were comfortable. He was a living manifestation of your dream man.

He had asked you to be his girlfriend during your 5th and final training session. You were stretching together, he had your leg stretched out and next to your head (definitely not gym approved), when he ‘popped the question’. You agreed very quickly and kissed him, only for the kiss to be interrupted by ‘Clara’, the client who was convinced that she was playing the long game with Jungkook.

She lets out a loud gasp before storming out of the room.

“I think I may have lost you a client. Sorry.” You giggle.

He pecks your lips and releases your leg.

“But I gained a girlfriend.

Jungkook invites you over for a movie night after work on a Friday night. He’s ever the gentleman, he waits outside the building, takes your bag and holds your hand the entire walk  to his house. You had been over to apartment on several occasions. But never for an overnight stay, for a moment or two before heading out. You head to the bathroom, taking your overnight bag, you wash off your makeup, change out of work clothes and into a oversize shirt and sleep shorts. Neatly folding your clothes back into your bag, you head back out into the living room.

He looks up at you as you place your bag under the breakfast bar.

“You look cute.” He smiles, cutting up strawberries into a bowl.

You walk up next to him, your brushing up his broad back and wrapping around his waist. You kiss his cheek.

“Thank you.” You kiss his jaw.

You were both quite wary when it came to physical intimacy, you’d cuddle, hold hands and occasionally kiss, but things were moving very slowly. You wondered if he was even attracted to you (you tried to push the bad thoughts to the back of your head) , as he rarely ever initiated contact. You were still trying to come across has chill and nonchalant, but the truth was… you were horny. You wanted to jump his bones every time you saw him, he was gorgeous. He had been bragging about a delicious dish that he learned to make, and how excited he was to show you. You were a bit reluctant about accepting the invite, you’d been to his apartment before, but for only a few minutes at a time.  You had never spent time with him in his house with access to a bed.

You help him cook, despite him telling you to sit down. You both sit down and enjoy the meal, sharing laughs and stories from the day. After eating, you wash up together, feeling very domestic.

Drying your hands, you shyly you ask;

“Should we watch a movie?” 

Jungkook dries the last bowl and smiles, that shy smile that you adored so much.

“Sure, the remote is on the couch. Pick whatever.”

You place the dish towel down ever so carefully, the silence lingering in air before you speak.

“I uh was thinking we could uh watch it in your bedroom. If you’re comfortable of course.” You pick the towel up once more, wringing it in your hands, palms turning red.

He notices your hesitation, places the bowl in the cabinet, gently pulls the towel out of your hands and wraps his arms around you. You immediately relax into the hug.

“Don’t be nervous to ask for things like that. I want to cuddle with you wherever. It’ll be nice.”

Before you knew it, you were under the sheets with Jungkook on top of you, lips locked, legs too, entangled in a heated position. One arm was around his neck and one was around his tiny waist, sneaking up his shirt. He moaned into the kiss, the deep guttural sound causing a pool arousal to soak your underwear. His large hand had naturally made its way on to your breasts, he has growled at the feeling of your braless tits in his hand. His other hand was above you, resting on the pillow. He let his body rest on you a little, increasing your temperature ever so slightly. You gasp into his mouth, feeling something firm pressed against your stomach. He kisses your lips once more before moving to your cheek, down to your jaw and then your neck, sucking your skin slightly. You weren’t a particularly vocal person in bed, but his actions were making hard for you to keep quiet, involuntary whines escaping your body.

“I-I’m h-hot.” You whimper.

He smirks.

“Yeah, you are.”

You snort.

“No~ I’m literally hot, can we take off the blanket?” 

“Oh.” He laughs and flips the blanket off, rolling to the side of you, leaning on his elbow.

He stares at you. Before you could ask a question, his lips are on yours again. His hand cups your jaw. You kiss him back fervently, your hand

He pulls away, lips a hairbreadth from yours. His hand travels down your body, caressing your breast, squeezing your waist. Which makes you tense up. Your waist and stomach were areas that you were self conscious about, it felt like he was squeezing your flaws. 

Think about something else. Thinking about something else.

He feels you go stiff.

“Are you okay?” He asks, lips pink and swollen.

You nod.

“Just touch me.” You grab his hand and place it on your waistband.

He bites his lips, without breaking eye contact, his fingers disappear into your shorts. He touches you over your panties first. He moans at the feeling of the soaked material.

“You’re so wet. All for me?” He smirks, eyebrows raised.

Your breath gets caught in your throat as he moves your panties to the side and his thumb meets your clit, fingers gliding over your folds. He takes his time before curling his long fingers into you, causing your to moan out in pleasure, wrapping your fingers around his wrist. He slowly fucks his fingers into you. The room is filled with the crude wet sound of your heat and the murmur of the voices of the long forgotten movie playing on TV.

You’ve never sounded like this before, unintelligible sounds tumbling from your lips as he pumps his digits in and out, hitting that place deep inside you.

“Y-your’e gonna make me c-“ You kiss him and place your hand on his bulge that had been growing.

He hisses, bucking into your hand. He takes his fingers out of you and hurriedly removes your shorts and underwear. You barely have time to think when his mouth meets your centre. His thick tongue licks you up, sucking on your pearl, like the best candy he’s ever tasted in his life. Your hands shoot out to grab his hair as you shake. You grunt out his name as you cum, eyes rolling to the back of your head, you try to catch your breath.

Jungkook rises to his knees and rips off his shirt, you catch a glimpse of his adonis like body before his kisses you. How were you in bed with someone who looks like that? Even though you had just felt like jelly, your brain tells your body to tense up. You kiss him back, trying your best to push the thoughts away, but as your hand feel up his toned, muscular physique, it was getting harder to fight them away.

Jungkook feels you tense under his touch. He pecks your lips before pulling away.

“Are you okay?”  He asks, brown eyes glistening.

You nod and try to push the intrusive thoughts to the back of your mind. He raises his eyebrows, non verbally questioning you. You nod once again and presses your lips against his. He moans and kisses you back passionately. His hands wonder again, gripping your waist and pulling you closer to him. Your muscles tense once again. He feels you go stiff, he pulls away again.

Your eyes remain closed, scared to look at him. You’ve really fucked up now, he probably thinks you’re weird, and he probably regrets giving a ‘fat’ girl a chance.

“You’re not okay. Tell me what’s wrong baby.” He moves closer to you and brushes hair out of your face, but then he quickly retracts.

“Do you not want me to touch you?” 

You open your eyes, not daring to look at him, your stare tasering in on every detail of his bedroom ceiling.

“I’m sorry if I m-“

“No! I just have- I’m just… All I keep thinking of is what you must think.”

He looks at you puzzled.

“What I think?”

You take a deep breath and sit up, pulling your legs into yourself.

“You must’ve been with girls who have insane bodies, and you work at a gym for god’s sake! And now you’ve got to tolerate me. I don’t wanna put you off by taking off my shirt.” You ramble.

Jungkook barely keeps up with your words, he wants to grab you and tell you that you’re beautiful, and that he is more than attracted to you. But he didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable, you were literally telling him how you were uncomfortable you were with him touching you. Well, you didn’t say that explicitly but he didn’t want to push you further.

Him just sitting there was making you more anxious, maybe he had been hiding his true feelings. He did find you repulsive, maybe he was being kind and didn’t know how to let you down gently. 

Without sparing a glance his way, you attempt to get off the bed. He stops you, hand gently landing one your thigh. You stare down at his tattooed fingers, slightly gripping, leaving dents in your skin.

“Don’t go. I think you’re gorgeous. L-like the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. That I’ve ever had the privilege to meet, to date, to kiss… To touch.”

You scoot back on the bed, eyes never leaving his.

“N-now I understand if you don’t wanna stay the night anymore, but.. I really want you to stay. And we don’t have to do anything, I won’t even touch you. I can sleep on the couch if that would make you more comfortable.”

He moves his hand towards your face, fingertips hovering over your cheek, scared to brush your hair out of your face.

“Even if you want to leave, please don’t leave thinking that I don’t want you or that I’m not attracted to you. You are perfect to me and it sucks that guys have made you feel like you aren’t the most beautiful woman in the world. “

You look into his eyes and you can feel his sincerity. You lean into his open hand, letting his palm warm your cheek. 

“I-i want you to touch me. I want you to want to touch me.”

Jungkook grabs your face and kisses you.

“I do want to touch you. I want to do more than that. But I want you to feel more than comfortable with that.”

You kiss him, deepening the kiss before he even has the chance to pull away. You wrap your arms around his neck and you fall back, pulling him on top of you.

He rolls you both onto your sides and places his hands firmly on your hips. He moans into your mouth, sending heart down between your legs. You clench around nothing and rub your legs together, in an attempt to relieve yourself.

Jungkook’s hand brushes your thigh, as if he was asking for an invitation inside. You spread to let him in, his fingertips once again dance along your folds, becoming slick with arousal. He toys with your hardening nub, making you twist and turn. His mouth detaches from yours and land on your neck. He licks and kisses a spot that makes it impossible to keep quiet. Your arms wrap around his body, nails digging into the taut skin of his back. His fingers tease your opening before plunging in deep. His fingers move smoothly and quickly, pulling egregious noises from your lips. He feels you tighten around his fingers.

“Are you gonna cum for me again? Soak my fingers?” He whispers in your ear.

You feel a burning flash run through your body as you let go and experience release. You come undone and as you do, he presses his lips against yours, licking into your mouth. He gently pulls his fingers out of you and brings his fingers to his lips, alternating between kissing you and tasting your release.

Breath heavy, you snake your hand down between your bodies, fingers brushing his hardness in his boxers. He shudders. It had been a while since he had had sex. People perceived him as a hardcore fuckboy but he was truly the opposite. He wanted to be in a relationship, truthfully, that’s the only way he could cum, knowing the person beneath him was ‘his’.

“I don’t think I’m gonna last. I-I’m sorry.” He breathes out.

You smirk before pushing him back onto the bed and kneeling next to him. You bend at the waist and place a kiss over his boxers. His breathing gets heavier, chest heaving, abs clenching.

You palm his length before pulling him out and taking him into your mouth. You both moan as you sink deeper and feel him it the back off your throat. You suck gently, pulling off to lick at his tip.

His hand lands on the back off your head, slowly coming around to stroke your cheek. You maintain eye contact as you bob up and down. His eyes roll to the back of his head and he throws his arm over his eyes, unable to control his body as the pleasure takes over. 

Suddenly, he gently pulls your hair, forcing you off of him.

“I’m gonna cum. I wanna feel you.” He confesses.

He sits up and reaches over to open his bedside table draw. You watch as he pulls out a foil packet. Expertly, he rips it open and slides the condom over his length. He turns back to you, encouraging you to lay back on the bed.

You lay back, and part your legs. He lines up with your core and gently pushes in. He hisses out a few curse words as he feels. You tighten around him. He almost collapses with how good it feels.

“So fucking tight.” He says through gritted teeth.

His grip on your hips tightens as he rocks back and forth. His tip hitting a spot in you that makes you scream in pleasure. He leans over you, encouraging you to hold on to him.

You both find a steady rhythm, moans reaching a crescendo as you explode. He follows shortly after, you feel the warm fill the condom. He rolls off you and next to you on the bed. 

“Y-you are so sexy. Fuck.” He breathes out, chest heaving.

You laugh and turn to look at him.

“Thank you. I think you are too.” You reach out and brush his slightly damp hair out of his face. The angles of his chiseled face glisten more with the assistance of the tin layer of sweat that had formed on his skin.

He scoots closer to you and pecks your lips before getting up to get rid of the soiled condom that has become baggy with the deflation of his length.

You watch his figure as he heads into the bathroom.

You sigh a sigh of happiness. You might never be completely happy with yourself but you hope you can be happy with him and learn to love yourself as much as he might.

Hope you enjoyed this! Once again, no mean message please :)

[blossom-hwa]

a detailed analysis of rizz levels across pretty much every group I stan 

chip ( @wingkkun​​ ) and I had a very interesting conversation about this a couple months ago. here are the results, complete with direct citations and paraphrasing from our instagram dms. I do not take constructive criticism but I will entertain debates in my inbox. think of it as a scientific peer review

table of contents (in order): txt | seventeen | stray kids | ateez | the boyz | honorary mentions (golcha, nct, p1h, beomhan)

(disclaimer: all of this is meant in good fun and is not meant to be rude or harmful to any member I talk about. I love every one of them and in the end this is all just a joke!)

TXT.

soobin: below the charts. this man has negative infinity rizz. less rizz than me and that’s saying something bc I only ever flirt on accident if I tried to do it on purpose the world would explode. the limit of his rizz as you approach any point is negative infinity and I do not feel sorry for saying this. in the wise words of chip, “we like you bc ur ultimate cringefail (affectionate)”

taehyun: net positive rizz. I'm definitely biased but also do not argue with me I will bite your face off. the amount of rizz he has is a true problem and I am not immune to it (neither are you). he’s so cute and he’s also so hot and smart and I'm never going to shut up if I keep going so I'll stop. positive rizz. off the charts. do not @ me.

beomgyu: please refer to hoshi’s bit below. they are one and the same. beomgyu had too much rizz it was eating him alive so his body compressed and converted it (lossless compression) to another form and now he’s a chaos monster who screams for a living and oozes what remains of his original rizz onstage. we love him for it

hyuka: +10 rizz because he’s cute. no more than that because he’s an overgrown baby (affectionate). he gives me a lot of brain damage but it’s just because of his plushies and his little brother energy so I feel like he could manipulate me with his rizz but it would only go so far before I either pat his head bc he’s so cute or I punch him in the face bc of the annoying sibling energy therefore he only gets ten points

yeonjun: after going through the entirety of our conversation I realize now that chip and I forgot to diagnose the rizz levels of the fourth gen it boy so now I'm pulling some shit out of my ass. net positive but low magnitude. I give him +3. mostly because he’s got insane stage presence and has the ability to kick beomgyu in the face but he’s soooooo pathetic. possibly reading skye’s ( @warmau​​ ) thoughts about him have influenced me but he’s pathetic hence the very very low magnitude of rizz. I am not sorry

SEVENTEEN.

mingyu: rizzless. I direct you to this post I made because it’s factual and explains his horrifically low levels of rizz. do not be fooled by this man’s muscles he’s constantly screaming crying throwing up to be told he’s sexy but the second someone does tell him that he’s a blushing anime girl (affectionate) and we love him for it but he’s rizzless. negative off the charts

jun: rizzless but not in the same manner as mingyu he just does not know what rizz is. very similar to juyeon in this manner. the8 or dino have definitely tried to explain rizz to him before but he simply does not understand and does not care to. even if he did understand it I'm still not certain he’d care which gives him a lower magnitude rizz than mingyu which is better even if it’s still negative

the8: positive rizz with quite a high magnitude. I can’t quantify it but it doesn’t even matter because even though he has rizz he doesn’t use it. he’d rather tell us to stop having a parasocial relationship with people behind our little computer screens and ooze rizz via charisma on stage instead and I can respect that.

seungkwan: so much rizz. so much fucking rizz have you ever seen this man complimenting female idols on shows. have you ever seen this man tell idols they’re pretty and wonderful and beautiful in every which way without batting a damn eye and with so much earnestness I blush. cannot believe chip ever thought this man as on the same level of rizzlessness as soob smh

vernon: 0 rizz, but this does not mean he is rizzless. rizz is a spectrum and having 0 levels of it just means you are rizz neutral. purely neutral. no one has purely neutral rizz the way vernon does he’s simply so special. that one gose episode where he showed up in that rainbow hoodie with red glasses? that’s the epitome of rizz neutrality

s.coups: refer to daeyeol’s bit below. handsome. reliable. have you seen him with kkuma. I melt every time. unfortunately he is still horrifically pathetic and though we adore him for it this does unfortunately decrease his rizz levels drastically. without it he’d probably be somewhere at positive infinity but now he’s at like +8. the world knew that if coups wasn’t pathetic enough he’d be too powerful so they had to humble him.

hoshi: he doesn’t have rizz but it’s not like the nerds where their rizz levels are just buried in the negatives it’s more like the magnitude of his rizz was so high that it has since been compressed and turned into something else. so he has no rizz but it’s not because he was born pathetic, it’s because it was converted due to the law of conservation of rizz (real)

wonwoo: similar to taehyun in that they’re both very positive but slightly different. yes they are both gym rats yes they are both token introverts (sort of) but wonwoo is a gamer. their rizz is fundamentally different but they’ve evolved to be similar due to their personalities kinda like wings on bats and birds. as you can tell it’s been a while since I took biology

jeonghan: similar to lino in that he has rizz but he stole it. the difference between them is that lino has some natural organic rizz while jeonghan was born with none and stole all that he owns now. without this stolen rizz he would be a limp noodle dragging himself across the earth but now he’s a fairy. life isn’t fair

dino: negative but low magnitude. the first number I gave him was -14 I don’t really know why it was -14 specifically but the point is it’s supposed to be low magnitude. recently he began climbing my bias list and chip yesterday convinced me to change his magnitude to to something lower so I now give him -4. I am easily swayed

joshua: positive rizz in the same manner as jangjun et al. the man is fucking insane. insane charisma but also just plain insane. I'm not entirely convinced he didn’t steal some of it but while jeonghan freely admits that he stole it joshua keeps evading the question. there is a venn diagram of jangjun et al and lino et al and joshua is in the intersection

woozi: I considered an intersection between chanhee and the8 and I think woozi falls into it. perhaps I've just been gaslit into thinking he has positive rizz but let’s just roll with the thought. has some rizz like the8 (less than the8 though) but does not care to use it (like chanhee) and also doesn’t really care that it’s there. he just kinda lets it be

dk: net negative but low magnitude. I originally gave him -13 to bc I thought he was a step above dino but not by much. I still kind of think this way so I'm elevating him to -3 since dino got elevated to -4. sorry dino I think you’ll always be one step behind no matter how big of a crush I have on you

STRAY KIDS. 

lino: has rizz but in the wrong way. the man touches butts for a living AND he has cats he’s got to have some rizz hence the net positive but he also definitely stole some. please refer to my comments on this post for details he definitely does not organically have all this rizz but he’s stolen it and now it’s his you can’t ask for it back

chan: also has rizz but in the wrong way but also differently from lino. chan should not have as much rizz as he does but he’s got that “libra sun scorpio venus rizz” (chip) which makes him extremely dangerous. he’s a loser and for that I'd give him negative rizz but unfortunately he has an aura that separates him from the likes of mingyu (it’s the dilf dad energy) so he has net positive rizz of a dangerous magnitude.

jisung: we welcome another member to the ranks of the negative infinity rizz. do I even need to explain. does the anime girl babygirl pathetic cute energy not already do enough explanation for you. I should not have to spell out the fact that this man is rizzless at every point on the mathematic plane. I love him to death but that will not save him from the rizzless fate

seungmin: please refer to jangjun in the honorary mentions below. his rizz applies here. positive rizz. high magnitude. ridiculous for a man of his caliber but here we are. he’s got some weird mutant rizz and that’s all I can really say like.....what do you become when you have rizz levels +69,420. what do you fucking do. 

changbin: fluctuates between +10 and -10 like a sine curve (please refer to mingi’s bit for more information). his positive rizz is similar energy to yunho but louder and his negative rizz is just pathetic baby boy-ness. I adore him. big muscle men who are soft. I don’t have a section for wonho but if I did they’d be of very similar types. 

hyunjin: negative rizz. he’s an only child what else do I need to say. ferret energy. flails around. long limbs that he doesn’t know what to do with. so much baby girl energy I always want to laugh at him (affectionate). lovely boy so very lovely with such fucking negative rizz

felix: like jangjun and co his rizz got converted but unlike jangjun and co it was not converted to insanity. it was converted to something...... alien. idk how to explain it. asymptotic rizz, according to chip. weird behavior as x approaches infinity. I agree with this assessment. nothing earthly explains how this man is so ethereal so I have concluded that alien magic converted his rizz to ethereality

jeongin: ok so I did say vernon is the only one who’s truly reached rizz neutral but jeongin is pretty close. similar vibes. they’re both slightly insane of course but they are also more than likely to just stand there and vibe. this gives off rizz neutrality. jeongin is less neutral (probably tipped in the negative direction) but he’s getting there. 

ATEEZ.

seonghwa: rizzless this man is the nerdiest nerd ever he is RIZZLESS. magnitude infinity in the negative region of the graph. he and soobin are two sides of the same coin the latter is a lanky little gamer dude and the former is a Star Wars nerd with a display case for his figurines. the absolute most negative rizz ever (affectionate)

yunho: oooooooo my god. positive rizz if I've ever seen one. so much rizz. so much fucking rizz. the magnitude of his rizz is off the charts and unlike the other insane ones his rizz didn’t get converted so he is DANGEROUS. if you ever meet this man in the wild run in the other direction you will not survive his pull. in the wise words of chip “yunho has |rizz| (absolute positive rizz)”

mingi: his rizz...fluctuates. like a sine curve idk. he alternates between having so much rizz it hurts and so little rizz it’s laughable. yes I have definitely been influenced by having seen him in concert twice (do NOT bring up the fact that he became a wrecker after the second). he knows he’s hot and will use that to the best of his ability but he’s also kind of pathetic and for some reason it doesn’t balance out so he fluctuates

jongho: has rizz. does not care to use it. falls in the same camp of the the8-ers (refer to the seventeen section) in which he prefers to simply ooze rizz onstage and kill everyone’s heart there instead of flirting with fans. respectable. also incredibly dangerous. everyone wants to hug him but if you try to his rizz will snap you in half but if not huggable then why hug shape?

hongjoong: net positive rizz but he’s convinced he has more than he does so I dock several points due to excessive confidence. panics too much when wooyoung tries to kiss him for me to restore them. if he gay panicked a little less then I might consider him having as much rizz as he says he does but alas he does not and so I will not. 

san: -10 rizz. negative but not too negative. he’s really cute and really hot but also really pathetic and I say this with the greatest fondness imaginable. remember that one poll where tiny voted him as the person they’d least like to vacation w bc he’d stay inside (don’t worry me too san)? same vibes. his patheticness outweighs his hotness and while they’re close, ultimately patheticness wins out. sorry not sorry

yeosang: net positive rizz but he does not use it. this is not by choice. he just doesn’t know how to. in fact I'm not fully convinced he knows what rizz is. in this manner he is somewhat similar to juyeon (refer to the boyz section below) except where juyeon’s rizz is negative infinity yeosang has some positive levels. in chip’s words get well soon yeo

wooyoung: falls in the same camp as hyunjae in that he has fully negative rizz and embraces this fact to use it as a weapon. dangerous man. fully insane. if his rizz was positive he’d be the same as jangjun and co but unfortunately he’s pathetic for hongjoong so his rizz is negative and is not handled the same way. 

THE BOYZ.

hyunjae: all of Bermuda line is rizzless to the max but in different ways. in hyunjae’s case he knows he is rizzless and fully accepts and utilizes this to his benefit. you’re telling me this man doesn’t know how pathetic (fond) he is? he’s self aware and will absolutely use this against you. as dangerous as those with high positive levels of rizz. watch the fuck out

younghoon: fully rizzless bc he’s in Bermuda line but is not self aware. in fact he protests that he does have positive rizz but look at this man. he has the energy of a dying victorian child trying to make it past this cold, cold winter. all you want to do is pat his head and coo at him to make him feel better he has no rizz. absolute negatives. 

juyeon: again, completely and negatively rizzless since he’s in Bermuda line but like younghoon he is fully unaware. in a different way though. why you ask? because this man definitely has no idea what rizz is. look at his sweet little eyes and tell me he knows. that’s right. you can’t. 

q: negative rizz. not as low as Bermuda line/seonghwa/soobin/etc. but still quite negative. the thing is no one ever tells him this or brings it up to his face because he’s dangerous. he may not know what rizz is but he does know what an insult is and if you say a word about his purported negative rizz levels you will not be heard from again. this is a warning. 

sangyeon: has net positive rizz. it isn’t super high but given the fact that I've just said four of his members have some of the lowest rizz levels imaginable it’s relatively high in the realm of tbz. can’t really explain it but he gets this rizz from his hot tired uncle energy that no one is immune to. have you seen him with his nephews? don’t argue with me. 

(at this point chip told me to stop making rizz comments bc their stomach hurt. I did not stop)

kevin: rizz levels -1. not quite negative infinity. in fact pretty far from it. still negative though and he’ll never recover from that. I'd say that I'm sorry but I'm really not no matter how much this man works out I will never be able to stop laughing at him to his face (in best friend fashion). love you kev

new: negative. not horrifically so like Bermuda line but still more negative than kev. you may be thinking what the fuck lina new has so much rizz wdym? you’re wrong. he doesn’t have rizz and he doesn’t care. his lack of care gives the illusion that he actually has positive rizz but he does not. do not be fooled

haknyeon: POSITIVE RIZZ. do not question the positive rizz of tangerine boy ju haknyeon. it may not be positive infinity but I do say he’s around +50ish and given the patheticness that surrounds him that’s pretty fucking good I’d say. so much rizz. so much true rizz. I love him

sunwoo: the most negative fucking rizz ever except he’s convinced it’s positive.  see without this unfounded conviction his rizz would just be somewhere around -50 and he’d be fine because Bermuda line exists but nooooo he decided to ruin it by being overly confident in his rizz powers so now he’s at negative infinity and one. sucks to suck.

jacob: (chip came up with this one) he has beomgyu and jangjun levels of rizz so like rizz off the charts but while a lot of it was converted into weirdness some of it stayed rizz so. hm. a tamer version of jangjun if you will. however beware because his rizz is once again increasing since he stopped playing league. watch out.

eric: negative rizz. same boat as sunwoo. their rizz magnitudes are the exact same and in the same direction (negative obviously) but it’s in a slightly different manner. both have unfounded confidence in their imaginary positive rizz levels but eric’s is in the manner of a teacher’s pet who thinks they’re popular while sunwoo is just plain mad

HONORARY MENTIONS.

jangjun (golden child): positive rizz and it’s terrible. I can’t tell you what the number is (it’s +69,420) but it’s really fucking high and I hate it. most of his rizz has been compressed and converted like hoshi’s to something resembling insanity but unlike hoshi there is a dangerous amount left. beware this man

daeyeol (golden child): +5 rizz. he’s handsome and reliable and if we got married I would be able to trust him to get things done. similar to sangyeon in that he’s got hot tired uncle energy but he’s also pathetic so he only gets five rizz points

mark (nct): negative rizz if I've ever seen one, but missing the negative infinity rizz by one point. I just need him differentiated from soobin and jisung and the other pathetic ones. mark is pathetic but I give him one point out of pity

beomhan (??): I don’t know anything about this guy except that he can’t cook and has high cholesterol problems from eating too many eggs but he’s in the same group as jangjun and co

keeho (p1h): I also don’t know anything about this guy except what chip has told me but I think he’s similar to chanhee and chip thinks he’s on sunwoo’s level. do with this information what you will

[chryblossomjjk]

HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY TO US

soooooo .....

one year ???

of this blog ????

its actually wild. its feels like i started this blog yesterday but also a ten years ago bc its hard to picture not having it. we've definitely had some challenging times, still trying to learn that being on the internet means ppl are going to dislike u and the ppl pleaser in me hates that but hey- theres been so much support. like its genuinely shocking to me that people are invested in my writing and care about it. the fact that anyone even reads my lil head cannons is jarring. even if you've just read the fucking title and moved along lol, i cannot thank you guys enough. you've made being on here so special, all 5k of u :')))

i know i've been on a writing dry spell but ive started writing my next fic, a short lil lighthearted piece to ease back in. then, i plan to fully immerse myself into my next fic (((shes my magnum opus yall))). thank you for sticking around and just being here with me. its been so so so much fun. cheers to one year n many more!!! cheers to us!! 🍾🥂

[amtrak12]

ATTENTION ALL BERING AND WELLS FANS.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to get my fanfic But You're Friction to 10,000 total hits on AO3. (link above)

Why? Because I'm in the process of writing a very long Lucifer fic and given both the larger fandom size and the longer length of the story, that fic is swiftly on its way to hitting 10k hits which would be my very first time ever hitting that milestone. And as awesome as that is (it is very awesome!!), I kind of like the idea of one of my Bering and Wells fics hitting 10k first, and But You're Friction is soooooo close!!!

^Screenshot of my stats graph on AO3. But You're Friction is on the left with 9,964 hits. (It was actually at 9,959 hits for several months but I just had a guest click through and read the whole fic yesterday so it went up!) My Lucifer fic, Can We Keep Her, is the bar on the right and it's currently sitting at 8,833 hits and closing fast. I was getting about 700 hits per chapter, but this latest update has already netted me 900. Which means my very next update could cross over the edge.

Am I proud of my Lucifer fic? Absolutely. Do I think it's better written than my Bering and Wells stuff? Yes, obviously. I've learned a shit ton in the last decade of writing. BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT!!!

Getting But You're Friction across the 10k mark first is about the nostalgia. It's about the pride. It's about every small fandom -- but especially OUR little small fandom -- proving that we work harder than anyone else!!

This Bering and Wells fic is a high school AU with smut that I swear I wrote in a fever dream because it only took me like a week to draft with no planning and no plotting. I refuse to reread it because of said smut scenes, but I remember feeling very proud of it at the time and the response was extremely positive so I feel like the quality could hold up.

It is 5 chapters and 20,000 words long so I either need 8 people to click through the entire fic or 36 individuals to click on the story link to get us to 10k hits. You are under no obligation to read or comment on the fic. I literally just want my best received Bering and Wells fic to be the first of my fics to hit 10,000. lol

Also June 2023 was the ten year anniversary of when I posted the fic, so it seems extra fitting to hit 10k hits this year :) We have until October 20th (my next Lucifer update) to do this. So let's go nerdsbians!! \0/

Thank you for your time! Hope your current blorbos and faves are keeping you well fed on awesome meaty stuff! <3

[fauville]

fandom: the wayhaven chronicles rating: general pairing: nate sewell/female detective (charlie langford)

i'm so embarrassed because of how self indulgent this fic is, but people wanted me to post it soooooo. i think about dad!nate a lot, so maybe i will write more about it at some point!

★ ★ ★

Charlie is frowning at the inadequate selection of apples at the marketplace, her hand resting on her belly over her chiffon summer dress when she hears Nate calling her name in the crowd.

She turns around with an exasperated sigh, a half-smile on her face and scans the mass of people for her husband, but Nate must be somewhere further in the crowd, because she can't see his towering frame anywhere near her. But he will find her soon enough.

She left him at the book stall where he was distracted enough for her to slip away for a moment. She intendented to go back to him before he noticed her disappearance, but she got hungry and left to find a snack at the food section of the market.

The owner of the fruit stall is glaring at her, so Charlie quickly points out the most juicy looking apple and pays for it, before Nate appears from the crowd with a worried frown on his brow.

For a moment Charlie just stares at him; she will never get used to how attractive he is and they've known each other for three years. His hair is tied up in a knot and he's wearing a pure white t-shirt and jean shorts. He kind of looks like a dad.

Which is lucky because he will be one soon.

“Charlotte!” Nate says, when he reaches her and immediately pulls her into a loving hug. “You're alright.”

Charlie can't help the snort that she lets out. “Yes, I am. I'm not lying dead in a ditch somewhere, don't you worry, dearest.”

Nate scowls. “Don't even joke about that,” he says and lays a protective hand on her stomach.

Charlie chuckles and covers Nate's hand with her own, patting it reassuringly. “I was gone for ten minutes,” she says gently.

“Fifteen,” Nate huffs and shakes his head. “That’s fifteen too many.”

“I'm pretty sure we're safe enough at the moment,” Charlie points out, when Nate bends down to kiss her forehead, cradling her closer to him.

“Maybe,” Nate admits a little reluctantly. He takes Charlie's hands to his own, rubbing a thumb against her knuckle. “But I would still prefer you would remain close by.”

“You know I can take care of myself,” Charlie reminds him, but her tone comes out mostly fond instead of firm like she attempted. This is a conversation they’ve had for countless of times in the last six months, but so far nothing has changed.

Nate starts leading her away from the crowd and Charlie bites into the apple she bought earlier. It’s dry and sour and she grimaces after the first taste.

“I know,” Nate says, so softly Charlie can barely hear it through all the noise around them. “But I can't help but worry.”

He stops walking and spins around to look at her properly and takes her hands, the bitten apple rolling from her hand on to the stone paving. There's something in his gaze Charlie can’t read. Something desperate and insurmountable.

“You're carrying my child,” he says. “Our child. That means I can barely think beyond the worry I constantly feel when you're not near. I'm so afraid of losing you both that it's almost making me lose my sanity and all reason.”

Charlie swallows. She can feel her eyes starting to water. Damn pregnancy hormones. “Nate…”

“I know,” Nate murmurs before she can open her mouth, smiling softly down at her, pressing a kiss to their linked hands. “I will work on it. I promise.”

Charlie nods, something inside her chest soaring. “Thank you,” she answers, because she knows that Nate means it and that’s enough for her.

Then she looks sadly at the dropped apple on the ground. It may have been dry and sour, but she’s still hungry like… well, a woman who’s eating for two.

“I'm hungry,” Charlie says and Nate laughs so loudly a few people close to them flinch and give him the dirty eye. He throws them a sheepish smile and gets a few starstruck looks back, which makes Charlie roll her eyes affectionately.

“Let's go home, ya rouhi,” he replies, guiding her towards the car. “I'll cook.”

[hauntedpotat]

I N T R O P O S T

hi 👋

My name is hauntedpotat, you can call me something related to that or Lyss! Im aroace and agender, and my pronouns are xe/they/he, but I'm pretty much good with anything except she/her 👍I'm in US central time! I'm from the cheese state 🧀🧀

I am a minor, no creepy or nsfw stuff please

Shitty people FUCK OFF (you know EXACTLY who you are, and no I will not debate with you on if I should exist or not. Leave me alone. Thanks!)

Asks are cool!! Talk to Me (if you want)

most likely neurodivergent

This blog is mainly OC and story art, art challenges, and general tumblr interactions. I have a fandom sideblog @themostuselesspotato where I post, you guessed it, fandom stuff (not specifying here, there are far to many). Outside of drawing, I also enjoy reading and most crafts.

Rn I am being soooooooooo normal about marching band and drum corps :]]] soooooo totally normal

I am currently in the process of writing/illustrating a webcomic that I plan to start releasing on webtoon this summer! The characters that I draw here will be part of it :)

I also have a pinterest, instagram (which I no longer use), youtube, and twitch (I haven't done anything with the last two yet, but I plan to in the future). You can find all of this at gpdsocials.carrd.co if you're interested

Adding a cut here, important stuff is above, spewing about my life is below (lol)

I am currently going to school for graphic design, so I know how to and frequently use Adobe Illustrator, Photoshop, InDesign, and Primere Pro both in and out of school. My current profile picture was made on Illustrator for an ongoing branding unit in one of my classes. I also learned how to design, cut, and press T-shirts.

On the topic of school, I also participate in band! I did summer marching band last year, and hopefully will continue to do so until I graduate. I am a percussionist, and my favorite instruments to play are bass drum, vibraphone, and this one specific marimba we have in class (no seriously, I could rant about how nice it sounds for HOURS). During marching band, I played second bass drum, and now snare.

I posted a complete Fishuary art challenge here! If you want to see my silly fish drawings, search the tag #fishuary2024

On the topic of tags, I also use #potats friend interactions (for general convo etc) and #potat rambles (for shitposts basically) #potat's band chronicles is for band camp 👍 All of these are tagged below, for easy access.

Random facts about me! Idk

I can kick someone of adult height in the face if I want to (for some reason I can just kick really high)

When I was in 3rd grade I handwrote a two page informational essay about mosquitoes from memory in an hour

I have a cat! Her name is Stormy, she's 3 years old :) lmk if yall want to see pictures of her, I've got so many pictures

The only video game I've played is minecraft on a kindle fire that I won from selling girl scout cookies at the age of ten. This shitty thing can support like one world at a time and STILL crashes

Once I smashed my knee between a boat and dock at 8am bc I was running off of hot cocoa and 5 hours of sleep and thought my knee was a good cushion for the boat that was coming in at the wrong angle. Don't do that!! Hot cocoa induced decision making is bad! And boats are still very heavy even if they're very slow!!

Idk what else to write here. I'm sure I will continue to update this post, so feel free to ask me questions in my asks or in the replies

Bye! 👋

[vivilove-jonsa]

Hello,

Since you've published a book I was wondering if I may ask a couple question?

Does it feel different from writing fanfictions?

Do you find your self relating to GRRM's pace of writing like the long years between books?

How did you like your covers for your original works? Did it take long to pick out?

This is just crack question but any chance there's a minor red headed character with her dark haired partner? You know as a little Easter egg jk. But in all seriousness we always knew you could sell your works and I'm glad you took the chance!

Hello!

Wow, I'm flattered that you want to know this stuff so thank you for asking! I'll happily answer each one below the cut :)

Does it feel different from writing fanfictions?

Yes. The joy of writing is still very much with me but there's some major differences and things I've had to adapt to when looking to sell books as an unknown author versus writing fanfic for a pairing that people are seeking out. The biggest is the wait for validation. Can't post a chapter of an idea, see how people respond and start crafting a story from there. You write the whole damn novel with little to no input from anyone else and then put it out there for critique before publishing.

It may sound weird but I've found more freedom writing original works in some ways and more restrictions in others.

The restrictions involve more planning, outlining and plotting. I have to stay on track instead of indulging in Side-Character B's backstory or a secondary romance, etc. Also, I would hop from genre to genre with my AUs and, while there are authors doing that I'm sure, it's not a safe bet for a newbie looking to make money. So, I found a niche in contemporary romance that I enjoy reading and writing and I dove in. I'll probably tackle another niche with a new pen once I've got ten or so books under my belt with the current pen name to try it out.

The freedoms involve making my characters whoever they tell me they are. No one will scream 'that's OCC!' because these are my characters. There's no trappings of canon or expectations in that sense either although romance readers tend to have favored tropes, etc and they expect you to stick to the 'formula of romance.' Also, I miss talking fic with other writers and fans of my Jonsa works as there's more distance between me as an author and people who read my books. Don't get me wrong, I love interacting with some of them who have reached out but the gap is there and it can feel lonelier.

Do you find yourself relating to GRRM's pace of writing like the long years between books?

No, lol. This is a side hustle for me but a romance writer would starve going at his pace unless you had that miracle hit right off the bat (which is soooooo rare) and even then you need to keep producing product to keep from becoming obsolete. I started my first novel February 1st last year. I will have FIVE completed by February 1st of this year. I'm shooting to average a book every 3 months this year at least. It takes me roughly six to eight weeks to write it and the remaining time goes into editing, formatting and submitting for ARC reviews. Quality AND quantity are the name of the game to earn money. In GRRM's defense though, my books average 75k words and one of those five was a novella at 40k words. And my books are romance centering on two individuals which are far less complicated to tell than his enormous fantasy opus with a cast of hundreds.

How did you like your covers for your original works? Did it take long to pick out?

Yes, I love them! The cover of your book is the single most important part of your passive marketing and you want your book to be as to-market as possible to attract readers in your genre and niche. My niche involves hot guys in suits on the covers and my dear friend made them for me except one which I paid a graphic artist $75 to do an illustrated cover for. Anyway, we would tinker and talk about the color or font, the placement of the title, etc. but, for me at least, this was a simple process. Some self-published folks spend far more time working on theirs or might pay hundreds of dollars on them but mine seem to draw eyes just fine. Maybe once I'm making bank more steadily I'll consider farming this out to a pro.

Any chance there's a minor red headed character with her dark haired partner?

Absolutely!! In fact, my first book includes a pairing that looks suspiciously like Jonsa (I changed the eye color for her and gave him Kit's brown eyes though). Partly, that's because the original idea for the book was going to be a Jonsa story until I decided to switch gears. My third book has a guy that fits Jon's description and my novella includes elements of Sansa's love of songs and such in the female lead. It's fun to have bits of the characters I love in my books even when they're my own creations.

Thanks so much for this delicious ask! Lots of fun to answer <3

[goldeaglefire1]

soooooo. Skullgirls Twitter may or may not be giving hints as to what Marie's story mode entails and I don't see anyone talking about it here so. me, being the guy who loves speculating about shit forever, am going to do it myself

(note: going to be long so here's a read more for all your sakes. also it's 12AM and I am tired so coherency may or may not be a thing. godspeed)

okay so! first, probably most vital thing! the first gameplay clip they ever showed of Marie (by which I mean like four days ago) is just her in the character select screen. nothing too crazy, except. in the character art that pops up when Marie's selected, she does not have her usual skull eyes

now you might think "well this is all extremely early footage that could be a placeholder and they just haven't put the pattern in yet" except someone pointed it out and the official response was

so. from the sounds of it this is intentional. she intentionally does NOT have the skull eyes associated with the Skullgirl, even though she's clearly using the Skullgirl's power. so there's one thing

thing number two! one clip later, and we get this right after

now this could be a tongue-in-cheek joke about exactly how different playable Marie feels from boss Marie - because yeah playable Marie looks absolutely nuts - but considering the skull eyes thing I have my doubts. and it's not like the tweet is wrong - compared to her usual set of minions, the skeletons in playable Marie's moveset are notably more expressive compared to the complete lack of emotion in the boss fight. I mean, everyone's pointed out the ribbon on Laser Skeleton's horn! that's just adorable!

hey speaking of undead minions. this piece of evidence may or may not age well depending on what the next clips show us but do you know who hasn't shown up at all in Marie's moveset thus far? her undead Medici minions. or for that matter the Lamia shadow she summons to blindside you from across the screen whenever she wants you to know your place. neither of those have showed up. meanwhile there HAVE been several moves regarding Marie's previous experience in housekeeping, which isn't exactly NEW for her since in her concept art from way back when there were a bunch of moves referencing housekeeping already in the cards, but seeing it directly from Marie feels distinctly. out of place somehow. hmmmmmmmmm

in the trailer that first revealed Marie in 2022 there was a line that was like "after ten years...a shard [of the Skull Heart] still remains" which got people speculating about what exactly it could mean if it even DID mean anything and wasn't just cool advertising bullshit. well, it seems fairly clear to me that Skullgirls Twitter is hinting at the reality of the situation, and what exactly that might entail

the Skull Heart is a corruptive influence on Marie. we know that; this has been established since Squigly's story mode, where Marie nearly drops a building on a bunch of innocent bystanders before realizing what she was doing and caught the top half of Medici tower. and then there's the more recent development that Marie becoming a Skullgirl gradually led to her forgetting the actual reason for why she made the wish (to save Patricia) vs. what the Skull Heart wants, which is for everything to get razed to the ground (which Marie ended up narrowing down to "fuck the Medici in particular", to which I say: fair enough)

so! as far as I can tell, this moveset (and the eventual story mode) for Marie explores what exactly she's like WITHOUT the influence of the Skull Heart compelling her to murder everything. how she managed to pull if off is still a mystery for now, but we should get an answer for exactly how she came back later down the line.

[littleplantfreak]

you could fill whole posts with your feelings about Ume, you say? why don't you prove it? 👀💖

Em, sweet pumpkin spice latte, i have a reputation (i dont actually) so it's going under the cut because no one should actually have to hear me scream about him for 10 years PLEASE if anyone here thinks im cool dont read this i wanna keep my nonexistent street cred

This is my second time writing about him so im sure its consolidated a bit which is preferred cause earlier it was like,,,,, ten paragraphs more than it is now

lets start with my favorite manga panel of him that i keep so safe and close to my heart because look! he broke the wall and his arm hangs over the panel and i looove it Satoru nii i can tell you were gonna make him the mc but im sooo glad you didnt because i love himmmm. though sometimes he reminds me of myself when i was younger way too much but this aint about him. ANYWAYS I FORGOT I DONT THINK ANY OTHER PANEL DOES THAT? its and important panel TO ME

When i first saw him with his hair down? instant heart eyes jesus christ ive never drooled over someone so hard which must be why my post with the most notes is me gushing about his hair. Ive always had a thing for hair tho im just a weirdo. Don't even get me started on the reading glasses!!!! i could just scream.

Also ive always had a thing for big guys esp gentle ones and once i learned more about him it was like bullseye bullseye bullseye- with how boxes he ticked but i just wanna climb him and maybe fight him for real but also fight him with my mouth. I wanna take care of him soooooo bad its not even funny. Like i know he's a big caretaker but i wanna pamper him i want that boy loves and cherished ill fight chika for him rn baby you dont have to lift a finger just sit over there right now.

Just heard a country song on the radio called must be doin something right by billy currington or whatever his last name is and went "i could dance with ume to that right now!!!!' also its a really sweet song though i love it.

Also he's hates needles...i hate needles.. we can take turns holding each other's hands for bloodwork and shots!!!

I started writing mainly for him and it was like....a "im not seeing enough content/the content i want" for this character so i put my pants on and did it myself. PRetty much my whole life i didnt like writing but now i do it semi-regularly and im pretty proud of that actually because ive begun to enjoy it? It probably helps that everyone's so sweet and the atmosphere is so chill but also nice and crazy and cool??? I dont have a lot of friends so im sooo soo thrilled to be able to gush with people its not even funny though sometimes im like "Girl you gotta be cooler than this you're not acting chill AT ALL calm down" so anyways i love him but i act like i really cant stand him he makes me so mad im furious at his existence

The scariest thing in the world to me is physically having kids? Like ive had nightmares about it i just dontttt wanna and i can tell he wouldnt push that like he'd be thrilled to adopt too it wouldnt matter but i think i would literally have his kids which is wild!!

Also? when i made that kissing picrew i actually flustered myself and that was crazy too because i don't fluster easy with boys at all but i physically turned red giggling kicking my feet about it every time i looked at it lmaoo you should see how red i get its baaaad im down baaaad

anyways ive alreasdy written too much have some more ume pics

[ruubric]

Love Bites and Girl Frights

Tooru Oikawa x black! female reader

WARNINGS: mentions of love bites, implied and mentioned sexual intercourse and Oikawa being cute.

Note: Reader is not explicitly described as black, so it can be read by anyone.. but us black girls deserve some love soooooo

Sore. Still sore.

You groan as you you shuffle awkwardly. He really couldn't go easy on you, could he? You suck your teeth, whatever. You can always get him back next time.

You smile a little, damn that Tooru and his cute ass whining.

Still doesn't fix how sore you are though.

You sigh and look into the mirror of your boyfriend's blindingly clean bathroom (with more skin and hair care products than most shops might you add).

But upon looking at your reflection, a scream of surprise leaves your throat. "Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit."

Fuck!

No, not today! Not today! Not today! Not today!

Damn it!

You're supposed to give a presentation in front of your whole class today, and not only are you walking like you got severely dicked down yesterday (which you did) but now you have a whole pattern of dark purple edging on a dark red marks from the side of your jaw to your collarbone.

And you can count ten-- count 'em, ten!-- hickeys that you can see.

A pained groan, almost bordering a sob, seeps out of your mouth. "Tooruuuuu," you whine out.

And as if he heard you, there's a knock on the door. "Hey, babe, can I please come in? I gotta pee!"

"Ugh, fine!" You huff.

At that, Tooru comes in and walks past you to the toilet, only to make a U-turn and stand beside you.

His eyes widen, and a little smile tugs at his lips: "whoa!" Then his voice sounds almost impressed as he says, "damn, that's a hickey."

You aim a good slap to his shoulder, and he whines out an "owww, that hurts."

"It was supposed to, dumbass! Look what you did to me!" You pointedly jab at the bruises tattooing your neck, "I have a presentation today and now instead of the influence of fanfiction in the mainstream media, people will be staring at the trail of love bites leading to my tits."

"Your magnificent tits," he smirks at you.

"I will hurt you," you warn deadpan, before pouting and turning back to the mirror to fuss over the marks on your skin. "Ugh, people will think I'm a total slut.."

And usually, you wouldn't give a fuck, but this time the nerves mixed with pre-performance jitters makes you feel so paranoid and worried about everything.

"So?" Tooru stands behind you, tucking your braids on your other shoulder and gently prying your hands away from your neck, cradling them in his own larger hands. He nuzzles his nose against your neck, pressing little pecks on the existing bruises. "You're my slut."

You let out a sigh, but you find yourself relaxed with how gently he's holding you. And the two of you look at your reflection together. The light of his skin and the dark of yours so different but working so well together. And finally, you find yourself at ease.

"I have an idea."

Your eyes dart to his in the mirror, and they are absolutely sparkling with mischief. "What did you have in mind?"

He smirks and separates himself, "mark me."

You blink, "mark you?"

He nods eagerly, "yeah. Give me some hickeys to match with yours."

"But, why--?"

"Because," at that he takes your hands again, "much like I have claimed you, I want you to claim me."

You give him a look, a bit reluctant to do so. Because honestly, how will this help you? And boys don't have it as rough as girls.

"Tooru--"

"Mark me, baby!" He cries out loudly, "mark me so that people will know of our rough and passionate sex!"

You laugh out, this boy. Oikawa Tooru is a loser.

A cute one though.

So, of course you oblige.

And as he walks you to the lecture hall, people stare at both of you two, obviously noting the marks on both of your necks. But you don't feel too embarrassed, because it's hard to feel small and shameful when you're standing next to someone as popular and well known as Tooru Oikawa. When he is holding your hand and looking at you like you are a literal angel.

[hyuckswoman]

hii im just gonna throw my opinion in bcs !! i honestly dont think the way you write it is bad and i like the slowburn and i definitely can see it there. like how theyre getting closer and everything, a lot of things obviously wouldnt happen in the start before they got to know each other and yeah !

so im loving it, its one of my fav works on here as of now and i think youre doing the slowburn just right ! i think the main “problem” here is that the updates ARE a little slow considering most of the fics are one shots you can read in one go so i understand why waiting 2+ days for an update with 8 screenshots might be annoying for some people but i dont really mind ! just maybe could be a little longer so its worth the wait 😅 and its a little annoying sometimes when it FINALLY seems like theyre getting somewhere and then they just act like nothing happened like damn😓 couldve made a move already

ALSO someone mentioned hanbin seeming shady but i think thats because there are a lot of characters and you cant just be so detailed about everyone so it might seemed like it but its not the case. like when he left her at the park (?) i think.

i really hope this doesnt come off as mean, i actually wanted to back YOU up because i think youre doing the slowburn right and i like it like that ! just yeah could be longer updates but its still all good. my roommate knows ab this smau too because i be going around the apartment like “damn i hope theres an update tonight” LMAOO so yeah keep going at your pace, ill eat it up anyway ! :) sorry for rambling too much haha

duuuuuuuuuuuuuude i can't believe some people view down bad so highly?? first of all thank you for taking the time to type such a thorough answer i really really appreciate it and second of all, I swear i'll try to be quicker with the updates but i'll admit it's kinda tough sometimes since exam season is approaching but I'll do my best so you guys can enjoy down bad fully lolllll and i'll also try to make the chapters longer (since i only recently discovered that on pc you can upload more than ten images loll)

I admit at first i was kinda confused on how long this was supposed to take as other smaus on here took like a couple of months to be completed but i ended up taking soooooo much longer and about them not acting on it, don't you worry i kinda rearranged the chapters and we are soon entering their era where they realize they have feelings for one another lolll

about hanbin's character, i basically just needed an excuse to make y/n and jeno have some alone time but i think it's kinda fun how some of you are reading into it and speculating and stuff

also this did not come off as mean AT ALL i literally wanted to sob reading this you're much too nice and i'm glad you enjoy reading down bad and thank you for reading my posts even though they're not story updates lollll

anyway all of that to say thank you soooooo much i really appreciate you and people's feedback like it really doesn't go unnoticed and i really try my best to take everything into consideration!! have a great day/night/morning to you anonnn

[squarebracket-trickster]

Thumbprint Tag

Rules: look back on your work, both past and present, finished and unfinished. What are five to ten narrative elements or tropes that continuously pop up in your work? Give a list of these things!

@on-noon don't mind if I jump on your open tag. I can get soooooo weirdly specific with this...

Oh yes, and I am going to carry on the open tag. Anyone that wants to join may.

Read More because oddly specific requires lots of words--

A female character from a very disadvantaged background (see political prisoner, indentured servant, peasant, enslaved person, poor etc.) who has an unlikely meet cute with someone (male) who turns out to be extremely privileged (see royalty, crazy rich etc.). They become friends. One day she has a really rough day, ends up sick, and he takes care of her (like makes her meals, rubs her shoulders, holds her hair when she throws up etc.). They don't end up dating until a while after this happens. If I had a nickel for every time this shows up in a story I'd have dollars by now.

Two or three female characters that my straight-ass spends years trying to ship with every palatable male character in the story to see if I can make them date. After years without success I finally realize that these characters are lesbians and they were made for each other. When their story arcs get finalized into canon they have an epic friends-to-lovers slow burn romance.

A main female character that, in hindsight, should have been my clue that I had ADHD. Re: talks too fast, says the most random shit, won't shut up, sits weirdly in chairs, really good in a crisis, always waving her hands when she talks, sensory issues galore, no eye contact, last minute queen, always has a song stuck in her head, can list 50 digits of pi but can't remember why the fuck she just walked into that room, and most importantly, me saying about this character, "I feel so relaxed when I write/daydream about her. It's like a release. Like, I can finally be myself and do all the things people think are annoying, but everyone in her life thinks she's funny and likes her energy." Like, you might as well have written MASKING ADHD directly across my forehead.

A monarchy that becomes a republic by the end of the story because I want to write about attractive princes and badass queens/empresses but I am also an anti-monarchist...

A character who was based off an irl friend that lost relevance in the story and got written out, only for me to eventually drift away from that friend or discover that they weren't the friend I thought they were.

Long rants about whatever topic I am learning about in uni at that time (assigned to a particular character for plot reasons). This week's rant was on Populism...

A couple that I decided could never be a couple because the power imbalance and political nonsense was too problematic, who ended up becoming a couple anyways because I have no self-control and them being together was just so *feels*. When all is finalized into canon, these couples get a glorious enemies-to-lovers slow burn that lasts several years and plenty of denial (in homage to my own feelings on the subject).

That moment when a character takes off their disguise and reveals that they are, in fact, a princess, goddess, secret agent etc. in order to save someone's life.

Idk what some of these say about me. idk if I want to know...

[doctorgeekery]

20 Questions For Writers

Thanks for the tag @sinvulkt!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 7 works.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

60,129. Wow, a lot more than I thought, especially since I am terrible about posting things I write.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Looking at my official statistics, apparently I have written the most for Marvel (4). Most of those are marvel crossovers with some sort.

However, Marvel is definitely NOT what I have written for the most. Back in middle school and high school, I wrote a lot of Harry Potter fanfiction and posted it on harrypotterfanfiction.com back when that still existed. I wrote two novel-length stories in addition to one-shots. If I were to add those to my AO3 stats, things would be very different.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

1. It's Nice Being an Avenger (2,331 kudos)

2. The Dark Knight and Gotham’s Prince: Our Sweethearts (1,070 kudos)

3. Just Call Me Lucifer, Love (778 Kudos)

4. Avenging with the Nine-Nine (475 Kudos)

5. Melting the Ice (78 Kudos)

The number one fic is a crossover of Netflix's Daredevil and the MCU Avengers. It wasn't too popular for about two years after I wrote it, but then after Charlie Cox as Matt Murdock/Daredevil appeared in Spider-Man: No Way Home, the popularity skyrocketed. I got at least ten kudos every day for about two months after that movie.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! I do not get them terribly often so I try to remember to reply to all of them. Some of them I might forget to reply to and wait until a few months later, though.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I tend to usually post-humorous fic to AO3, so of what I have posted, the angstiest fic is probably "Harklin", which is set in the Star Wars High Republic. I usually end on a positive note. The darkest fic I've written - one I wrote in high school in which the main character committed suicide - had a somewhat uplifting last few sentences as the main character only committed suicide so she could be with the ghost she fell in love with.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my fics have happy endings. "The Dark Knight and Gotham’s Prince: Our Sweethearts" is probably one of the happiest, though - I had a few commenters gushing about the happy ending.

8. Do you get hate on your fic?

Nope! I am glad. Sometimes people will point out minor corrections/mistakes, but that's not hate. And I'm glad they do it, because then I go back and fix it.

9. Do you write smut?

No. I read it sometimes, but I have no desire to write it.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Yes, I have a few crossovers posted - most notably the Marvel/Lucifer TV crossover and the Marvel/Brooklyn-99 crossover. It is interesting, since I rarely read crossovers, but I love to write them.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so? Never checked, but nobody has told me that it has been, soooooo.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Just hit this milestone a few years ago! Someone asked me if they could translate "The Dark Knight and Gotham’s Prince: Our Sweethearts" into Chinese, I said yes, and it is now posted as a translation of my fic. HUGE honor - the day it was posted I was grinning so much.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Yes, I co-wrote a one-shot once back when I was writing on harrypotterfanfiction.com. I literally just looked it up on wayback machine because I don't remember it well (looks like I published it in 2014), but it was for a challenge/competition thing with another randomly assigned author. We got along quite well and had a lot of fun!

14. What‘s your all-time favourite ship?

When reading fanfiction, I tend to not read a lot of romance, and I don't write a lot of romance, either. I don't have a "this is 100% my favorite ship" that I am sure about, but the first one that popped into my brain when reading that question is Supercorp.

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

"Avenging with the 99" - essentially, the cast of Brooklyn 99 teams up with some Avengers for their annual Halloween Heist. There's so much pranking and a lot of fun, but a) after a certain point, I struggled with where to take it and b) I know at one point I planned who was going to win... but it's been so long that I have forgotten.

In middle and high school, I planned out an entire seven book series for Albus Potter, Harry Potter's son. I completed the first two books (something I will always be proud of) and started writing the third while I was still editing the second book, but then I quit. I had outlines of plans for all seven of the books, which I know I still have somewhere. At this point, it has been so many years and I have fallen out with the Harry Potter fandom completely, so I know I will never go back to it.

16. What’s your writing strengths?

Dialogue. I love to write dialogue, as it comes so naturally to me. Easiest part of writing, by far.

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

One, I hardly ever write. Most things I write I don't complete. But when it comes to writing itself, I am AWFUL at description. I can't describe locations, people, etc. If you see a fic of mine with a lot of description, know that it took me a painfully long time. Often when writing a first draft of something, I will say [insert description of place here later] because trying to describe things ruins my flow.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I have never done it, but I don't see why not. I think it depends how much - a few short phrases here or there would be awesome, but I don't think all of the dialogue should be in a different language than the rest of the fic.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

Honestly, "The Dark Knight and Gotham’s Prince: Our Sweethearts" is one of my favorites to go back and re-read. I still laugh when I re-read it.

I will always be proud of the first fic I ever wrote, simply because it was novel-length (75K words) and I did an excellent job for a 13-15 year old. I would never want to re-read it now, though - I will probably cringe at it.

As for tagging... uh, I think @sinvulkt already tagged most people from our Star Wars discord, so I shall change fandoms and tag @starsandstormyseas. I will also tag @chaosgoblinhours because I love their Gutterworks series.

[ghosts-and-blue-sweaters]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last ten people who reblogged something from you! Get to know your mutuals & followers!! <3

Oooh, thank you! :D

1. Ghostbur <3 (literally, when I watch clips/art/read fics/talk + think about Ghostbur, there is instant happiness. A friend sent me a bunch of Ghostbur art a few weeks ago and it made me so happy and smiley and I still think about it <33)

2. Reading le Bible—specifically, the New Testament, even more specifically, stuff about the Disciples. Oh my gosh they can be so darn hilarious it’s amazing (I’ve been reading through the book of John recently, and it’s been so neat!! I’ve been real out of the habit of reading my Bible, so it’s been nice to get back into it :)

3. When fictional characters play ukulele!! It’s always so exciting :D A few weeks ago I had the Realization that c!Tubbo canonically plays the ukulele and LACSHAUSVAJSBAKSG YIPPEE!!!

4. Getting comments on my fics :) I got one last night and it made me soooooo so happy yes

5. Going to thrift shops! I went to one pretty recently and found THE COMFIEST HEKKIN JEANS EVER OH MY GOSH I HAD NO IDEA JEANS COULD BE THIS COMFY WOW and also a really pretty blue/white skirt :) And they were like TWELVE DOLLARS COMBINED DEAR GOODNESS!!!

[pudding-parade]

Why do I read YouTube comments? I mean, seriously, why do I do this to myself? I truly do not know whether to laugh or cry. This was a comment in response to a video about the ten deadliest animals in America, made by a person old enough to have a pregnant daughter, and...and...I can't. Then again, the creator of the video that this person commented on needs to be taken to task as well because of things like showing images of African wildebeest when talking about North American bison as well as images of caribou and elk when talking about moose. I mean, the latter is somewhat more understandable because at least they're all large species of deer, but at the very least moose have very different-looking antlers than the other two, soooooo...

But you know what might be a fun idea? A sideblog highlighting idiocy like this. Because I see a shit-ton of appalling scientifically-illiterate idiocy on YouTube and elsewhere that is often not worth responding to because the comments are months old or whatever, and sometimes I just need to vent. And it's not just when watching shit put out by creationists and flat-earthers or, worse, by people who are both at the same time.

OK, I'll go back to Sims now. Sorry. I just needed to share the pain. Oh, the pain...