#and like the original post I’m speaking from expirence we all know the dude who takes the opportunity to channel the inner mean girl they

[cherrysnax]

I think it’s rlly interesting when u can tell someone was bullied as a child and instead of working thru that trauma they take that anger and point it at anyone who dares reminds them of it

[khiphop-discussions]

about aomg: personality / your opinion about them thanks!

Loco: Just chill (until he gets drunk). He minds his own business and stays out of trouble. He doesn’t really have any negative traits but he seems like he’s really bad at talking to women he likes (lol watch some clips of him and Hwasa speaking. I think it was on “I Live Alone” or something? It was really awkward). He’s been around A LONG time and still hasn’t caused any drama. He won season 1 of SMTM so that’s a long time to keep your head out of trouble (at least for a rapper). Not the biggest fan of his music but I REALLY like the stuff he does with Gray. Him and Gray are literally a dream team. CoRay is what Jay/Sik-K could be if they made a unit lol.

Gray: REALLY handsome obviously so let’s just get that out of the way now. He’s really talented as well. He can do all types of styles of music. He’s actually more of a geek than he lets on tbh. Everybody thinks he’s dreamy but he’s always telling cheesy jokes and his friends seem to have at least a handful of stories of him doing embarrassing things lol. I feel like he tries to put on a cool image but that’s not actually really him if you were to meet him in real life. Another thing about him is he seems really generous, he produces for many rappers who are WAY less famous than him and almost definitely won’t make him enough money to truly be “worth it”. But he still does it anyway cause he’s really passionate about music, seems to be happy for other musicians to succeed, and is just a really cool down to Earth dude despite his good looks and success. Over all I really like Gray as a person based on what I’ve seen. As a producer, he’s definitely top-tier. Jay Park: He’s really generous as well. I can definitely see why him and Gray ended up working together so closely. Jay is one of those people who can be one extreme or the other but at the same exact time so it’s kind off weird (me and Jay actually have this trait in common and that’s why it’s so obvious to me). Like he can be really grounded and down to Earth but then also be way too high on himself at the same time. It’s really weird lol. Honestly, I think Jay is a good dude underneath it all but sometimes everything going on around him can put him in weird positions and cause him to act in a way that he probably isn’t proud of after the dust settles. I think it would do him good to actually listen to some of the criticisms he gets (obviously not all cause people on the internet talk a lot of shit but some of it is actually correct). Confidence is good but sometimes it’s okay to listen when people are telling you that something about your music or personality is off. I like his R&B stuff more than his rap stuff (which I’ve said like a billion and one times already lol).

Simon D: He’s REALLY freaking funny! He’s calmed down a lot over the years. I think it’s partially because of that point in time where he was dealing with depression and stuff. That usually humbles you quite a bit and causes you to mellow out somewhat after you come out of it. That said, I actually can’t get much of an opinion abouthis personality tbh. I don’t know if it’s because of lack of exposure or if it’s because a lot of his humor is him actually trying to avoid showing the more serious and/or different sides of his personality. I’m also not a huge fan of his music but he’s definitely a good rapper. His voice is really nice.

DJ Pumpkin: I actually don’t know much about him but from the little I’ve seen of him, he seems funny too. He’s co-ceo after Simon stepped down.  Ugly Duck: He’s a good rapper. I know he DJs as well but unfortunately I never actually got to see him DJ (he was actually DJing at the club like 100 feet down the street from the one I was at. Me and my friend were standing on the same street waiting for the light to change so we could cross and we were standing behind him until he entered the club lol. We didn’t say anything cause he had earphones in. So we just left him alone lol. I made a whole post about this night and all the things that happened if you’re interested. It was pretty eventful lol).

Hep: I know almost nothing about him. Is he the one who had a baby or was that DJ pumpkin? Maybe it was DJ Wegun?!?!?! IDK lol DJ Wegun: Don’t know much about him.  Chloe Devita: I literally know nothing about her except that she just signed.

ELO: GREAT music. I love the 8 Femmes EP, Other than that, I don’t even know how he looks. I can’t recall ever seeing his face. I definitely don’t know his personality either. Sogumm: I think this means “salt” in Korean. Interesting name. I like the song she did with BigOne called “Sunshine”. Hoody: Really nice voice. I think she’s one of the best R&B singers in Korea. “Adios” is one of my personal favorite Korean songs right now. She’s pretty. From what I’ve seen, her personality is really reserved and quiet.

Punchnello: AMAZING rapper. It’s weird though because I don’t feel like I’ve ever seen much of his personality even though he’s been on SMTM two times already and won one season. He seems REALLY focused though. I know he likes cats a lot.  Junior Chef: Literally one of the BEST DJs in Korea. He’s definitely my favorite so far. I’ve seen a lot of great DJs when in Korea but one thing I noticed is that a lot of them don’t have great song choices and can’t read the crowd all that well. A lot of them seems like they choose song that they like that aren’t actually that popular or able to be danced to easily. However, they can definitely work the boards and mix songs well. Junior Chef was literally the TOTAL package though. He knows what songs will get the crowd excited, he knows what order to play them in for best effect, and he can dj well. There would be times where I was literally just thinking “OMG get this DJ off the stage and bring Junior Chef up already. We know he’s here!” I’d always be a little bummed out when Junior Chef set was over. He’s one of the few members of AOMG I’ve  been in the same room with for an extended amount of time and yet I know literally NOTHING about his personality compared to others. LOL that’s kinda funny and ironic af.

Code Kunst: Honestly, I can really name any songs of his that I’m a fan of. He seems pretty funny though. And I like his cats. Lee Hi: I’ve never listened to her music to be honest. I still maintain that her and One would make a really cute couple. Woo Wonjae: GREAT rapper. He can be funny sometimes. Overall, his personality is quiet and reserved. Don’t really listen to his music but I’ve seen enough of him on SMTM to know kinda his personality + that he’s really good at rapping.

Cha Cha Malone: I think he’s more associated wiht H1gher now (maybe his AOMG contract expired or something and so he just fully switched to H1gher? IDK how that worked out) but I still somewhat associate him with being an AOMG artist. I think he’s SUPER talented with music. He’s more versatile than I originally thought. As a person, he’s alright. Don’t think he’s a terrible guy or anything. He can probably be cool if you met him in person and got to know him. He also seems like he can be down to Earth. He has a lot of playboy/fuckboy ways though. (That can likely be said about anyone on this list tbh. So I can’t really make it too big of a deal for him. I know for sure it can be said about Simon D a few years back). He also seems like he can be kind of hot headed but I can understand considering how much shit people have given him since he’s been in Korea + the nature of the music/entertainment industry. I’d probably be going off on people too lol

[tanukirou]

Oh My My! - a JotaKak fanfic

Originally posted on AO3, if you want to stop by and maybe give me a constructive comment I’d be super happy! 

https://archiveofourown.org/users/rakshapophis

Kakyoin desperately needs a haircut and only the best hairdresser will do. Luckily, he finds just the right man for the job.

Red strands of hair fell limp over his right eye, earning a defeated sigh from Kakyoin.

He had spent the past forty minutes in front of the bathroom mirror attempting to style his hair in its usual shape. But to no avail. The lenght had increased over the last months, completely ruining the flawless form and movement he desired. Not that his hair looked ugly, per se, it just fell flat, lacked any texture it previously had. It was quite bothersome.

At first he thought it could have something to do with some hair product he was using. A mousse, a pomade or even one of his specialty shampoos. Maybe it had expired or the formula had changed? He checked all the labels, checked the lot numbers and even consulted reviewers online to check if that was the case, but nothing came up. Everything was the same as usual. He had to admit, it was the haircut.

Staring over at his reflection, he ran a hand through the vivid strands. It felt soft as always, yet the shape was all wrong. The sight was almost unbearable for someone as conscious about his appearance as he was. The red locks he cherished so much were too long, almost reaching shoulder lenght. The layered look it sported had turned almost blunt with growth, making it look like a sad bob that got on Kakyoin’s nerves. Even his fringe did not escape from such terrible fate. It kept falling limply over his eye, no hair product in the world could fix the wavy lock in place, and oh if he hadn’t tried everything already. Even the slightly wavy texture of his gorgeous hair felt out of place with all of these flaws.

Kakyoin slammed the mousse container over the bathroom countertop. There was no way he could stand walking around looking like an unkempt hipster wannabe for much longer.

He had to get a haircut, soon.

After settling on putting his hair up in a half ponytail for the day, Kakyoin strided out of the bathroom confidently, taking a turn and walking into his bedroom. His eyes glanced over quickly at his bedside table, where his phone laid charging since the night before.

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, he picked up and unlocked his phone swiftly, looking through his contact list in search of an important number. As soon as the bright screen showed the desired contact, he tapped his finger over it without hesitation, bringing the device to his ear. It probably took less than thirty seconds for the call to get picked up, yet the dial tone did nothing to ease his impatience while he waited.

The tone ceased to be, and in its place, a very familiar voice greeted him.

“Bonjour, mon chér! Fancy hearing from you so early in the morning!” The man on the other side of the line spoke, his french accent ever so recognizable.

“Jean, I’m in desperate need of your help.”

“Oh? Noriaki Kakyoin needs my help? Who would’ve thought this day would come!” He laughed, and even though Kakyoin couldn’t see him, he could swear he was smirking.

“In any other occasion I would hang up on you, but I really am stuck in a complicated situation at the moment.” Kakyoin muttered as he pinched the bridge of his nose. He really lacked the patience to deal with Polnareff’s antics this early in the morning, but he would have to put up with it for now. His good looks depended on it.

“Christ, Kak, you make it sound like you’re getting arrested for murder… wait, please tell me that’s not it, is it?”

“No you absolute moron, I didn’t murder anyone! I need help finding a hairdresser!” If his brows could furrow any further, they would probably merge onto one another.

“Oooooooh, you could’ve said so from the beginning! That’ll be easy as pie since I work at a hair salon, you know?”

“Why do you think I called you, genius?”

“No need to be snarky, dude…” He could practically hear the pout in Polnareff’s voice. “Anyways, I know quite a few great professionals, what exactly are you looking for in a hairdresser?”

“Precision. I need my hair to look as close to perfection as I can get it to be, so nothing but the best will suffice.” The redhead spoke with confidence, knowing exactly what he wanted out of the ordeal.

“Precision, huh? I think I know just the guy you want!”

“Fantastic! Now, if you could help me make an appointment with said guy…”

“Yeah, I was just gonna tell you about that…” Polnareff spoke almost sheepishly. “…the thing is, I’m almost sure his agenda is full.”

“Oh, it’s ok. It doesn’t have to be today, I can try to get an appointment for another day this week.”

“No, you don’t understand. I think his agenda is full for the next three months.”

Kakyoin froze at polnareff’s words. The call was completely silent for a moment, apart from the light static coming from the phone. He must have been joking. He had to wait three months for an appointment? Who the hell was this guy and just how amazing was he that he had no time on his schedule for the next three months?

“Uh, Kak? Everything ok?”

“What do you mean his agenda is full for the next three months?! What kind of miracle hairdresser is this?!”

“Dude, you have no idea! The guy is an absolute madman! I’ve been working at the same place as him for four months and i still can’t believe how amazing the dude is!” Polnareff exclaimed over the phone, voice filled with enthusiasm. Apparently, the man had to be exceptional for the frenchman to praise him so highly, knowing how much pride he took in his own hairstyling abilities.

“Define amazing, Jean.”

“I mean, his fingers move so fast, I can barely see what he’s doing sometimes! He works so damn fast but he also looks super elegant doing it, you know? And his haircuts always look exactly like what the client asks for, no matter what! It’s almost unbelievable how good he is!”

Well, now Kakyoin’s curiosity was most definitely piqued.

“After such high praise coming from you, I can only assume this guy is a genius.” Kakyoin noted with amusement, pushing a few lose strands of hair behind his ear.

“Trust me when I say he’s the best we have. Kind of a bummer he’s always busy, huh?”

“Indeed, I was hoping to get an appointment this week…” He mused, toying with part of his fringe that he left out of the ponytail.

Silence took over the call again, only a few seconds passing before Polnareff spoke up again with newfound enthusiasm.

“Dude, I could try to get you an appointment with him within the next two weeks. The dude’s kinda intimidating, so it’s not gonna be easy to convince him. I’ll try my best though, what do you say?”

Kakyoin found himself smiling for the first time that morning. Polnareff could be annoying and even a pain in the ass, but he was a genuinely good friend, and Kakyoin admired how loyal the french was to those he was close to.

“Have I ever told you how much I love you, Jean?”

“Aw, mercí beaucoup Kak, but I’m not really into guys. You’re still a handsome man though and I appreciate the sentiment.”

And as soon as the smile came, it faded.

“You completely ruined the moment. My respect for you? Gone.”

Polnareff laughed on the other end of the line. “Don’t be like that Kakyoin! I love you too dude! Don’t leave me-“

With the tap of a finger, the call was over, cutting Polnareff in the middle of his sentence. Kakyoin’s love for his friend only went so far until he got irritated.

A sigh escaped his lips in relief. Even if he could not get an appointment for the day, he could still count on his friend to find one in the next two weeks. And that was good enough.

After a brief glance at his phone’s clock, he deemed it was time to start heading to college, but not before making himself a cup of tea prior to leaving the apartment.

Just as Kakyoin left the building his last class of the day took place in, a message entered his phone.

Jean Pierre Polnareff: Luck is on your side, Cherry Boy! Your appointment is tomorrow at 17:45 with Jotaro Kujo, you know my workplace already.

Kakyoin was cheering on the inside, glad that his friend could be such a prestative person. However, he’d never let him know about that.

He quickly typed back a snarky answer, playing around with the frenchman.

Noriaki Kakyoin: I thought his agenda was full? ┐(‘～` )┌

The answer came mere seconds after.

Jean Pierre Polnareff: Well, let’s just say your good friend here is such a charming man that Jotaro couldn’t resist making a little exception on his schedule.

A smile came across his lips just like hours earlier, as he made his way across the campus towards his favorite café. What began as a bad morning, turned into quite the pleasant afternoon, the sky a nice shade of light blue and the spring sun shining brightly over town.

“Noriaki Kakyoin? Thank you for waiting, Jotaro will be with you in a moment.”

A soft voice called from his right, snapping him out of his thoughts. A blond woman stood beside where he sat, looking strangely stoic for someone with pristine make up and dressed completely in baby pink.

“Thank you, miss.” Kakyoin nodded, smiling politely at her.

The lady smiled softly at him before turning around and heading back to her station.

It felt like ages since he had last been to a beauty parlor, not to mention a fancy one like the one Polnareff worked at. Everything looked so modern and sleek, painted monochrome and decorated with streamlined furniture. He felt oddly out of place with his vividly colored hair and green cardigan, seeing how most other costumers looked as if they were ready for a red carpet photoshoot.

He wondered if this Jotaro guy looked just as fancy and pretentious as everyone else.

“You’re Noriaki Kakyoin, right?”

He almost jumped out of his skin as a deep voice called him from his right. Christ, what was with people speaking out of nowhere and scaring the ever living shit out of him today? As elegantly as possible, he got up and straightened up his clothes, turning around to face the source of the voice.

He did not expect to find a tall guy dressed in black standing there nonchalantly.

Alright, scratch that, a really tall guy with a perfectly sculpted figure and piercing blue eyes looking right at him.

Kakyoin couldn’t help but stare a bit. The man towered over him even as he stood, and Kakyoin was not a short person. He had to be over 6’4, Kakyoin thought, as he analyzed the figure before him in awe. The man’s height was not the only impressive thing about him, as one could not skip over how well defined his muscles were. Even with the black shirt on, one could tell the guy had rippling abs and hard pecs. His hair was jet black, kept in a pristine undercut and perfectly tousled. And his face, goodness, it looked like it had been sculpted by one of the renaissance era. Now that he thought of it, the man in his entirety looked like a renaissance sculpture. Perfectly symmetrical, manly features, high cheekbones and full lips that looked oh so delectable. Not to mention those gorgeous sea blue eyes that seemed to look right through him.

God, the guy was hot.

“Is everything ok?”

Oh goodness, he had spaced out while staring at the hot dude. Not one of his proudest moments, Kakyoin admited.

“Oh, yes, everything’s ok. I’m Kakyoin, yes.” He pretty much blurted out, feeling the heat rise up on his face. He probably looked like a damn fool.

“Good. I’m Jotaro Kujo, I’ll be taking care of you today.” The man, Jotaro, extended his hand as an invitation.

Kakyoin was screaming internally.

The hot guy was the hairdresser he had an appointment with.

The hot man was Jotaro Kujo.

Holy shit.

That could only end so well for him, taking notice on how he reacted seeing the man for the first time. Either he would make an absolute fool out of himself and never be able to show up at the parlor ever again, or he would try to ignore the fact that the modern rendition of Adonis would be running his hands through his hair for the next twenty minutes.

Kakyoin would try his best to avoid the first option.

“Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Kujo. I’ve heard great things about your work.” He managed to regain his composure, nodding politely as he took Jotaro’s hand, exchanging a handshake with the man without looking nervous.

The man shook his head. “Just Jotaro is fine. And I’m glad you chose my services. Now, would you please follow me? We can discuss what you want after I wash your hair.”

Oh boy.

“Of course.” Kakyoin smiled, following Jotaro as he guided him towards the washing station.

They came to a halt at one of the vacant washing sinks, where Jotaro gestured for Kakyoin to take a seat at. Kakyoin gladly obliged, making himself as comfortable as possible in the otherwise not so comfortable seat. He had never liked the washing sinks much, they always made his neck feel stiff afterwards. He suddenly felt the warm touch of Jotaro’s hands at the base of his neck, sending a light shiver down his spine. He had placed a small towel around his shoulders. Of course, that’s to be expected.

What he had not expected was to feel Jotaro’s hands touching at his scalp this early on. Not even to wash his hair yet, just the plain sensation of his hands.

“Your hair color is natural, huh?” Jotaro noted, fingers running through the red locks. “Unusual to see naturally vibrant colors like this.”

They had barely begun and Kakyoin already felt like fainting.

“Yes, it has looked like this since I was born.” He spoke out, hoping his face was not as vividly colored as his hair was.

“It’s a nice color, suits you well.”

Oh boy.

“Your hair is very healthy, so we just have to wash it before cutting.” He finally moved his hands off Kakyoin’s scalp, moving away to get the shampoo. “You seem to take great care of your hair, that’s good.”

“I try to, I like looking my best.” Kakyoin declared with pride, as his self care routine was to be envied by anyone. His hair always got special treatment, after all.

Jotaro hummed in affirmation behind him, adjusting the temperature of the water prior to taking it to Kakyoin’s head. A mere moment later, the warm water coming from the shower head hit his scalp, along with the touch of Jotaro’s hand once again. The contact felt soothing, strong fingers massaging lightly at his scalp made his skin feel tingly in the most perfect way.

“Is the temperature fine like this?” Jotaro asked, massaging close to Kakyoin’s nape.

“It’s perfect.” He muttered, a soft smile on his lips as he took in the sensations created by the hairdresser’s touch.

Another pleased hum escaped Jotaro as he turned off the shower head, pouring a small ammount of shampoo on his palm before lathering up the roots of Kakyoin’s hair. His fingers moved with expertise, applying more pressure onto his scalp compared to earlier. Strong hands like Jotaro’s could easily bruise skin if enough pressure got applied, yet his touch was gentle, his fingertips rubbing at all the right spots. The warm, tinlgy sensation from earlier returned even more intensely, eliciting a pleased hum from Kakyoin. He felt pure bliss at the moment.

Sooner than Kakyoin had hoped, Jotaro removed his hands from his scalp once again, grabbing the shower head to rinse off the shampoo. The warm water came into contact with his head, along with the feather light touches of Jotaro’s hand to aid on the removal of any soapy residue.

The sound of the shower head turning off left Kakyoin slightly disappointed, as he craved much more of the fantastic sensation that Jotaro’s hands brought while massaging his scalp. With his hair washed and rinsed, Kakyoin was ready to get it cut. Jotaro brought a small towel to Kakyoin’s head, drying off the excess wetness of his hair before moving from the washing station.

“All done, now follow me to my station.” Jotaro nodded towards a more secluded room further away from the washing station.

Kakyoin nodded, following the hairdresser over to where magic seemed to take place.

The room was simple compared to the rest of the building. It was painted a dark grey, a few pictures of marine life in white frames scattered around the walls, creating an interesting contrast. In the center of the northernmost wall stood a big mirror, along with a cart full of hairstyling supplies and white styling chair.

“Take a seat, let’s talk about what you want.” Jotaro guided him towards the mirror, swinging the chair around so he could sit down.

Kakyoin happily obliged, settling down comfortably on the white leather seat.

“I was hoping to give it some movement and shape, no drastic changes.” He explained as Jotaro secured the styling cape over him. “The lenght has been bothering me lately, so shortening it would also be ideal. Specially the fringe.”

Jotaro hummed in approval, bringing a comb to Kakyoin’s wet hair. “Got it.”

The hairdresser grabbed a pair of scissors from the supply cart, studying Kakyoin’s head for what seemed like a mere second before beginning his work.

And boy, what a sight it was to see Jotaro work.

For the next ten minutes or so, Kakyoin could only observe in awe through the mirror’s reflection as Jotaro brought the scissors to his head, working as fast as a hurricane, yet smooth as silk. His blue eyes darted around, following every swift movement of his fingers over the redhead’s locks with expertise. The incessant sound of the blades cutting around was almost deafening, little strands of red hair fell around him over to the floor, seeming as light as feathers. It was surreal, to see such a strong person handle his hair with such gentleness. Every angle at which he cut seemed calculated with absolute precision.

Time passed by in a blur, and before he knew, the sound of the scissors snipping at hair ceased to be, only to be replaced by the loud blow of a hairdryer. The warm breeze gusted over his scalp and ears, the temperature just hot enough to be pleasant without burning at his skin. Jotaro’s hand ruffled the shorter strands on the back of his head, smoothing over the gradually longer ones framing his face, his touch just as warm as the breeze created by the hairdryer.

Once more, the sound ceased to be, this time replaced by silence. The hairdresser brought a comb to Kakyoin’s red locks, styling it to the desired shape with the aid of his free hand. His fingers pushed a few loose strands behind the redhead’s ear, letting out an approving hum.

“Done.” He declared, removing the styling cape from Kakyoin.

Oh.

Wow.

Kakyoin was rendered speechless by his reflected image.

He could barely believe how amazing his hair looked. That morning, he had stared at a sad excuse for a hairstyle in the mirror, but now, he felt like he was looking at the cover of a hair styling magazine.

Like he had asked, there was no drastic changes to his signature style, and even so, it felt completely new. His fringe was shorter than he had expected, yet it framed his pale face perfectly. The hair was slightly longer on the front, gradually getting shorter as it neared the back of his head. The layered look gave it shape and movement, just as he had desired.

It was beyond perfect.

“Final thoughts?”

Jotaro’s voice snapped him out of his trance, urging him to find the right words to thank the hairdresser for such a marvelous job.

“…wow.” He sighed, smiling widely at his own reflection. “It looks absolutely fantastic, I could kiss you right now.”

Oh.

Why the hell did he say that?

Kakyoin felt his face warm up, completely embarrassed by his own choice of words. He dared not look at his own reflection again, fearing his face looked just as red as his hair. Way to go, Kakyoin.

A low chuckle escaped Jotaro’s lips, surprising the still flustered redhead.

“I get that a lot. I’m happy you like it.” He smiled (oh god he smiled), placing a hand on Kakyoin’s shoulder.

His touch felt incredibily warm, even through the layers of Kakyoin’s clothes.

“Your reputation is well earned, Jotaro. This is expert work, how long have you been doing this?” He mused, running his own hands through his hair, appreciating the hairdresser’s handiwork.

“Six months.”

Kakyoin froze.

“…what?” He muttered, shocked at the revelation.

Surely, he must have been joking. There is no way someone could be so competent at such job after only six months. He looked for any signs that Jotaro was just pranking him.

He found none.

“Wait, you’re serious?” Kakyoin asked incredulous, eyes wide in surprise.

Jotaro nodded.

“I’ve started doing this six months ago. It was just a part time job at first, but people came to like my work, so I do this for a living now.”

Unbelievable.

“Part time job? Isn’t that a teenager thing?” Kakyoin furrowed his brows, curious about the situation at hand.

Jotaro smirked, crossing his arms over his chest. “How old do you think I am?”

“…you look to be around twenty six.”

His smirk widened. “I’m nineteen.”

What the actual fuck.

“You’re kidding me.”

“Nope.”

“We’re not the same age, I refuse to believe that!” Kakyoin laughed, shaking his head in denial.

The two men shared a laugh for a brief moment, amused by the little exchange that led to this. It was strange, how at ease Kakyoin felt around Jotaro, even without ever meeting the man prior to this encounter. It just felt natural. Maybe they were close in a past life? Who knows.

Having been seated for too long, Kakyoin rose from the styling chair, smoothing his hands over his cardigan.

“Well, I must say this has been quite the amusing experience.”

“I can say the same.” Jotaro smiled.

Christ almighty, that smile made him weak in the knees.

His visit to the hair salon was shorter than expected, but much more pleasant too. Yes, definitely much more pleasant than expected. Kakyoin took a mental note to thank Polnareff properly later as he followed Jotaro to the reception counter. Jotaro murmured something to the receptionist, earning an incredulous look from the lady, but it was soon replaced by an understanding smile as the hairdresser stared her down. Sometimes a simple look speaks more than words do, and that appeared to be the case with Jotaro most of the time. The brief interaction between him and the receptionist seemed to illustrate it well.

Kakyoin approached the counter, fishing out his wallet from within his bag.

“How much for the services?”

The lady slid a small bill towards him on the counter. The price was…lower than he had expected?

“…is this really the right price?”

“Mr. Kujo asked me to apply a discount of 25% on the regular price.”

How endearing.

“How nice of him.” Kakyoin noted, glancing over at Jotaro who suddenly took interest in some pamphlets that lay on the counter. A strangely adorable sight.

The redhead picked the right ammount of money from his wallet, placing it on the counter in front of the receptionist. She muttered a small ‘thank you’ as she put it away.

Having already paid for Jotaro’s wonderful services, he turned to face said man, bowing ever so slightly in a respectful gesture.

“Thank you for the amazing job, you’re a very talented professional.”

The cordial thanks appeared to have caught Jotaro off guard, as the tall man stood there with an incredulous look before taking action once again. Giving off a chuckle, he reached out to take Kakyoin’s hand into his own in a brief handshake.

“Always a pleasure to make my clients happy.”

Even if brief, it was a tender little moment. As they parted from their handshake, Jotaro signaled for him to wait for a second, reaching into his pocket to pull out a small card, handing it to Kakyoin.

“Here’s my contact, if you ever need my services again.”

The card was simple, stating Jotaro’s name and profession along with his phone number. A small, black star adorned the right corner of the paper rectangle.

Kakyoin nodded, offering a polite smile.

“You better believe I’ll be needing your services again in a near future.” He chuckled, waving goodbye to Jotaro as he stepped out of the building, the card held tightly in his left hand.

As he crossed the street, he was already planning his next trip to the hair salon.

[wbwest]

New Post has been published on WilliamBruceWest.com

New Post has been published on http://www.williambrucewest.com/2017/08/18/west-week-ever-pop-culture-review-81817/

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review - 8/18/17

  I swear, as much as I love pop culture, some weeks it’s just really hard to pay attention to that stuff with everything going on in the world. Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know about everything that went down in Charlottesville last weekend. I don’t need to recap it, but I’ve got to tell you that I’m scared. Yeah, we’re supposed to stand up to the Nazis and #Resist and all that, but I can still be scared, can’t I? I’ve got to raise a kid in the world. I don’t know how to explain shit that I don’t even understand. We really judge people because of their color? It’s like the Chris Rock joke about VCRs and girls who don’t perform oral sex: “They still make you?” It’s crazy to me, and I tended to just go through life without really thinking too much about it. I had that luxury, and I knew it was a luxury. Part of what made it great was that these folks that are loud and proud used to just be keyboard warriors in their moms’ basements. But they’ve come out of the basements, y’all, and this shit is REAL.

About two years ago, I was driving us all home from the airport. I get to an intersection for a left turn, and the guy behind me keeps honking for me to go, even though he couldn’t really see that I saw cars coming. Eventually, he just speeds around me, and we end up next to each other at the next light. I see him mouthing something at me, so I roll down my window. Then he proceeds to ramble off a bunch of stuff, but what stood out most in my mind was him calling me a nigger. Oh, and my wife a bitch. But mainly him calling me a nigger several times. And it all went black for me.

I seem to remember calling him an asshole, because racial scientists have yet to discover the perfect counter to being called a nigger. White folks are like Teflon when it comes to slurs, as most of the ones about them have lost their effectiveness over the years. And then he challenged me to a fight. Wanted me to pull over into a parking lot. Like I said, I was GONE at this point. Plus, this was the longest red light in history. My daughter started crying in her carseat, and he told me to “go on home and don’t be a deadbeat nigger”, and Lindsay was urging me to just ignore the guy. Engines started revving. The lanes narrowed, and I think I wanted to run him into the median. That was my plan. As Evie’s cries got louder, I realized I had responsibilities and shit, so I let him speed off when the light turned green.

He wasn’t some good ol’ boy redneck. He pretty much looked like a regular White dude with a shaved head. At that point, I didn’t know what the Alt Right was because I hadn’t really heard of Gamergate and all that. But I can say, today, that he was the same type of dude that was down in Charlottesville, and that scares me. It scares me because I don’t like what they’re capable of. But it also scares me because I don’t like what they’re capable of making me do. Bad shit all the way around. Who’s to blame? Well, you be the judge of that. Some of you are still fooling yourselves, but you know exactly how we got here, and didn’t even stop think of what the ramifications would be. Fuck it all, ’cause “emails”, right? Anyway, here we are. Question I have for you is how are we gonna get out of here? And are you part of the solution or part of the problem?

Whew! OK. So, who’s ready for some pop culture ramblings, huh? Huh? Yeah, let’s get to that.

  In a pretty big deal, Netflix acquired comic creator Mark Millar’s Millarworld comic imprint. You know, he’s the guy behind Wanted, and Kick-Ass, and Kingsman. Oh, what’s that? No, those properties aren’t part of this deal. Still, he’s quite the prolific writer (so prolific, in fact, that I’m not convinced he’s the one actually writing all this stuff, but I digress…), so there’s a lot of material to pull from. There’s Nemesis, which is basically evil Batman who dresses like a Klansman. There’s Superior, which is basically just Millar’s riff on the Shazam story. There’s Super Crooks, which is about, well, super crooks. I know I sound sarcastic and all, but I actually did enjoy all of these series. They may not have been the most original things I’ve read, but he’s found what works for him, so more power to him.

To me, the real winner here is Netflix, as they basically acquired a comic “company” without any of the hassle. You see, Millarworld isn’t a publisher like Marvel or DC. No, it’s an imprint, which is just a fancy branding tactic to let you know that all the stories spring forth from the same voice. Millarworld comics are currently published by both Marvel and Image. As an imprint, all of the heavy lifting is done by the actual publisher. So, Netflix gets the intellectual property without having to worry about comic shipping schedules, retailer outreach, or anything else that publishers should be doing. With this deal, they essentially get to have their cake and eat it, too. Part of me is scared that Netflix is being a bit too aggressive in the marketplace, and can’t sustain this level of success, but what do I know? It’ll be interesting to see what they end up doing with all of this.

Speaking of big deals, Shonda Rhimes – creator of the hits Grey’s Anatomy and Scandal – has signed a multiyear production deal with Netflix, moving her Shondaland production house from ABC. Her ABC contract was set to expire in May 2018, but word on the street is that she negotiated an early exit. A lot of folks are wondering what this means, especially for ABC, which had built the Thursday night TGIT lineup around Rhimes’s shows. It could be good, and it could be bad. For all of her success (the aforementioned shows), she’s also had some misses, including Off The Map, The Catch, and Still Star-Crossed. And for all the buzz surrounding its star, How to Get Away With Murder struggles to find the audience that Grey’s and Scandal have attracted.

There’s no doubt Rhimes is a powerhouse producer, but I think this move came at the right time, as TGIT was starting to get stale. Grey’s is on season 13, but could continue as long as Ellen Pompeo wants work. Meanwhile, Scandal ends this season, and I really don’t know how much more rope they’re gonna give Murder. I’m sure ABC would love to retool the night, without having to cater to one producer, so this will give them a lot more options. There were some potentially difficult decisions on the horizon that can now be avoided since Rhimes took an early out. As for what she’ll do for Netflix, we’re really just gonna have to wait and see.

So get this: apparently some lawyer bought the rights to My Cousin Vinny just so he could release Back to Brooklyn, a novel that follows the characters 25 years later. Now, I’ve never seen the movie in its entirety, but it’s certainly not one that ended with me wondering what happened to them next. According to the synopsis, not much. According to Deadline:

In the update, Vinny is working on a new murder case. This time, it’s set in his native Brooklyn. But domestic issues still plague him – he hasn’t married Lisa, and his career as an attorney really hasn’t taken wing, despite the Alabama triumph, leading to financial problems. Finally, he is hired to help a woman accused of killing her boyfriend, whose brother is the deputy mayor of New York City.

“Taken wing”? I’ve never heard that before. Is that like “Taking flight“? Anyway, that sounds boring as shit. This reboot/revival industry has really gotten out of hand, and this just takes the cake. I can tell you one thing about it without even reading it, though: 25 years later and Marisa Tomei is still a total smokeshow.

Not only has Chrisley Knows Best been renewed for a 6th sesaon, but it also scored an aftershow, According to Chrisley. Hey, at least it’s not another Hardwick talker! From the description, it’s really just a late night version of a daytime talk show, as Todd Chrisley will interact with the audience and give advice on marriage, parenting, and sex. Yup, good ol’ vaginal intercourse. I’m sure Todd knows TONS about that…

They say the third time’s the charm, and that’s exactly how many times they’ve now tried to make How I Met Your Father happen. This time, the show is being developed by Alison Bennett from a show that I love, FXX’s You’re The Worst. So, tonally, don’t look for the kind of humor you’re used to from HIMYM.

In the world of comics, Wizard: The Guide to Comics is returning in the form of WizPop, which will be yet another pop culture website in a crowded pool of pop culture websites. They say that a quarterly print version will follow at some point in the future, but I really don’t see that getting off the ground in today’s print marketplace. Apparently, WizPop will be a “digital daily video news service”, and I hate videos, so this already isn’t for me. I feel a lot of folks film shit that would’ve been more compelling written. Plus, I’m sure they’ll find some hot girl, get her to talk about Pokémon once a week, and expect the clicks to roll in.

The editor in chief of this project is Brian Walton, formerly of Nerdist, so I’m sure he knows his shit. The associate editor, however, is Luke Y. Thompson, who’ll I’ll always refer to as “the guy who killed Topless Robot”. Back in the early ’00s you wanted to have the popularity of 2 major sites: Topless Robot and X-Entertainment. Rob and Matt ruled the geek set, and when Rob left Topless Robot – a brand he had built – it really should’ve ended. Instead, Thompson came along and simply didn’t have feet big enough to fill the shoes he’d been left. I remember when the call went out for a new editor for that site, and I considered it briefly, but thought to myself “Nobody knows me, and it’s not like I have that big of a following”. Then they chose Thompson, whom I’d only heard of here and there, and who had basically the same amount of social media followers that I did. Son of a bitch! Anyway, I’m probably being too hard on the guy. I can say with certainty that I wouldn’t have fared any better than he did, as there just wasn’t, nor should there have been, a Topless Robot without Rob Bricken. Can’t begrudge a dude for needing to work, but I really don’t know what Thompson or Walton can bring to the Wizard brand to set it apart from everyone else who’ve already staked a claim to the digital world.

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

Everything’s coming up Jetsons, as DC Comics announced a new miniseries, while ABC announced they’ve picked up a pilot from Robert Zemeckis for a live action sitcom. I say this show dies on the vine like the Seth MacFarlane Flintstones reboot, but we’ll see…

The season 7 Suits finale will serve as a backdoor pilot for a spinoff starring Gina Torres, and set in the world of Chicago politics. I really hope it’s called Da Skirts.

Marvel’s Runaways are about to be DOOMED, as the former movie doctor (and Nip/Tuck butt model) Julian McMahon joins the Hulu series as some worthless adult character. Seriously, if you’ve read the book, you know you can’t trust any adults in their orbit.

Fringe‘s Kirk Acevedo has been cast as “Ricardo Diaz” next season on Arrow, who will be the Arrowverse adaptation of DC Comics martial artist Richard Dragon.

Unwillingly to let a little broken neck stop him (um, spoiler alert?), David Tennant will reprise his role as The Purple Man in season 2 of Jessica Jones.

If you’re looking for conversation fodder for when you talk to your grandma, you should probably know that Daphne Oz, daughter of the Dr, is leaving The Chew. Like I said, your grandma will have something to say about it.

If you’re a 15 year old girl and you stumbled across this site because you found me in one of your chat rooms, then you’ll want to know that the Teen Wolf 100th episode/series finale will air September 24th. No word if Michael J. Fox or Jason Bateman will make a cameo. Oh, you don’t know who they are? Fuckin’ Generation Z, man…

Paul Scheer will now spearhead the Amazon adaptation of Galaxy Quest, which can only mean one thing: Rob Huebel is gonna be the commander. Mark my words!

Lost executive producer/co-showrunner Carlton Cuse just inked an overall production deal with ABC. Spoiler alert: all the characters in all of the upcoming shows have been dead the whole time.

Michael Douglas is in talks to star in a Netflix sitcom created by Chuck Lorre, which means everyone will “hate” it but it’ll still be the highest rated comedy on the streaming service. I mean, Lorre is KING of the Guilty Pleasure.

NBC announced that there have been “talks” of a Frasier revival, though they aren’t sure if the creators want to do it without co-creator David Angell, who died in the September 11th attacks.

Not to be outdone, Fox announced that they’ve been in talks with Mike Judge to bring back King of the Hell. While I’d love to know how Hank Hill would regard Trump’s America, I feel the original run of that show is nearly perfect and wouldn’t want a lackluster follow-up like Futurama 2.0.

Bad Boys 3 is clearly never happening, so it just lost its release date to Will Ferrell & John C. Reilly’s Holmes & Watson, hitting theaters November 9th, 2018.

Nia Vardalos, of My Big Fat Greek Wedding fame, is developing Suburbs Famous, a TV series loosely inspired by the Chewbacca Mom thing. I’m not sure what to call it. It wasn’t a phenomenon. It was just a thing.

Hold onto your butts, children of the 80s, as there’s a reboot of The Two Coreys masterpiece License to Drive. This time it’ll be a female-led ensemble, being called a “female version of Superbad“. Um, OK.

You know that coworker who clearly hates his job, and really doesn’t go out of his way to make you think otherwise? That’s Daniel Craig with the James Bond franchise and, as much as he claims to hate it, it’s a job, so he’ll be back in the next installment.

Get your towels, fangirls (and fanboys, if that’s your thing), ’cause Star-Lord is back on the market! After 8 years of marriage, Chris Pratt and Anna Faris announced their separation. He’ll get custody of the family’s successful movie career, while she gets the car and her job on Mom.

I thought this was pretty clever

In a rebranding move, Chuck E. Cheese’s is getting rid of the animatronic band that we all grew up being terrified of. But fear not, as the chain will still base their image around a rat serving you pizza, so if that ain’t classy, I don’t know what is!

This week I joined my good pal Classick for another round of the Classick Team-Up Podcast. This was my first show with his new cohost, Amber, and I think we all gelled really well together. You should definitely give it a listen, but listener discretion is advised!

To say that the new DuckTales is good would be an understatement. In fact, it might be too good. Like everyone else, I’m beginning to tire of all of Hollywood dusting off old properties for new money, so I was a bit apprehensive about a DuckTales reboot. I mean, Disney had come a long way since then, so did they really need to return to that well? I grew up with the Disney Afternoon, so I know some DuckTales. It was never my favorite show or anything, but I enjoyed watching it. Even saw the movie in theaters. I would’ve been more intrigued by a Darkwing Duck or, believe it or not, a Goof Troop reboot, but I was willing to return to Duckburg to check things out.

As the news started trickling out about the reboot, I began to get a bit more interested. The character designs were updated, yet faithful to the original. And the cast! They could’ve just gone with some unknown voice actors, but instead they went for Purple Man David Tennant, and SNL guys Bobby Moynihan and Beck Bennett. Hell, they even got Community‘s Danny Pudi in the mix. Even if the show sucked, it wouldn’t be due to the folks behind the mic. Then they announced that the show would premiere on 8/12, and air for 24 hours. And for 24 hours did it run!

I actually didn’t get to watch it until the marathon was over, but when it was over, I couldn’t believe what I had seen. It was great. I was surprised that Huey, Dewey, and Louie actually had personalities now. That’s something I don’t remember being true about the original show. I liked the personality upgrade that Webby received, and I now find her more endearing than annoying. There’s clearly a story behind the new Mrs. Beakley, as she’s not just some doddering housekeeper anymore. And Donald’s even featured this time! There were a ton of Easter eggs referencing the old show, including shout outs to Cape Suzette (Tale Spin) and St. Canard (Darkwing Duck). Hell, they even had Roxanne from A Goofy Movie in it. What’s not to love?

If I had any squabble at all, it’s that I kinda wish Donald had subtitles. I know that’s part of his gimmick, but during the first half hour, for whatever reason, I found him downright incomprehensible. It didn’t seem as bad during the second half hour, so I don’t know what the difference was.

Anyway, the series properly debuts with new episodes on September 23rd, and I think I found my new favorite Saturday cartoon. If you didn’t see it, you should definitely check it out. It might not be your speed, but you can’t help but marvel at what they accomplished. That’s why DuckTales had the West Week Ever.

Oh yeah, I’m still trying to make Sarahah happen, so leave me some comments!

[samleheny]

The good that can come from this crappy Ghost in the Shell remake

I’m a big Ghost in the Shell fan. I love cyberpunk, transhumanism, Eastern design sensibilities, all that good stuff. It’s no surprise I didn’t expect this Hollywood remake to be any good, nor that critics so far are pretty unanimously reporting that it isn’t, nor that I’m not interested enough to find out for myself and send the message “Yes Hollywood, my curiosity will get the better of me and you will end up getting my money regardless of whether or not you did a good job”. Whatever. The word is it’s visually engaging but that the action is dull and it’s emotionally and philosophically desolate (the very latter is a death knell for any GitS project as far as I’m concerned). I’m less sad that it had to happen to this franchise in particular and more so because I yearn for those days when Hollywood sci-fi knew how to be both thrilling and intellectually stimulating at the same time. Now days it’s one or the other, or sometimes neither. But I’m trying to look to the good, and I think there is some good. About this whole white-washing controversy of casting Scarlet Johanson as Major Motoko Kusanagi. We all should understand that people are less pissed off about the particular instance of casting a white person in the role of an east Asian character than they are about the larger issue it points to. No movie executive at any point sat down and said “This 1995 Mamoru Oshii classic is brilliant! But it could be even better... It could be... white!” No, they just wanted a big star in the lead role and they valued that more so than artistic authenticity, which only becomes a practical issue when one realises that when it comes to big names in the English language film space, the only actresses of Asian ethnicity with that kind of ticket selling star power are... um... Lucy Liu, and... uuuh... ...that’s about it I guess.

How did we get here? The implications aren’t nice to think about unless you want to make unfounded claims that “Dude! White people and a smaller contingent of black people are just genetically more inclined to pursue a career in acting! I know science, I have the best science!” But the studio has actually bent over backwards to try and placate an internet crying bullshit. Do you think just five or ten years ago said studio would have given a shit what we thought on the matter? Probably not. Reports were that they at one point considered ‘yellowing’ Ms. Johanson up in post production, but quickly decided away from that, since unless you’re Cloud Atlas, that’s only going to make things worse. The solution they actually attempted in the end is a bit more... amusing.

I’m going to spoil the twist of the movie here. So they ended up renaming the character Mira Killian for this adaptation, perhaps reasoning that it’s slightly less damning to rewrite the character then to have people sitting in the theatre shuffling uneasily in their seats, subconsciously wondering “Why does seminal Japanese heroine Motoko Kusanagi look remarkably like white as hell Scarlet Johanson?”. This time around she has amnesia and can’t remember who she was before having her brain put into a prosthetic body. I’ve seen people in forums already taken to referring to the character as “MINO” (Motoko In Name Only).

The twist? Turns out she really is Motoko Kusanagi, and her brain was put into a Caucasian body and she was renamed by your standard big evil corporation, robbing her of her past and identity. ...Wait, what? You can see what they were going for, attempting a clever meta-narrative, shaking a finger at the internet and saying “Isn’t it what’s on the inside that counts?”. But it just amounts to the studio basically calling themselves out for their casting inflexibility. The evil corporation taking a Japanese character and dipping her in Caucasia being noticeably, almost deliberately analogous to what the film makers did with the character in the first place. Are they trying to tell us they know they did wrong by vilifying themselves in their own movie? Drawing attention to the issue, without actually doing anything about it?

To be fair, it isn’t a bad idea for a story, in the abstract. Highlighting things like race as being rendered truly tertiary and unimportant by cybernetic augmentation separating the identity and the flesh further apart then ever before in the human experience. But it’s depressing that they didn’t write that first and then reason “well that means we perhaps need an actress who doesn’t match Motoko’s traditional appearance.” But instead only conceived of this plot point as a way of retroactively justifying their casting choice. Just like it’s all well and good to talk about how The performance is what matters, and if race really shouldn’t separate us, then why do we insist a character’s ethnicity must remain rigidly consistent across the various reimaginings? But as soon as it’s the other way around, and a historically white character is being reimagined as black, or Latino, or what have you, then that philosophy gets switched out for a very different one. One that says race isn’t important, but race issues are, and when the western and usually Caucasian perspective already dominates huge chunks of the international pop culture, then it’s good, perhaps even necessary for concessions to be made to welcome people of other backgrounds into that dominant culture (a philosophy I find much more agreeable.)

Because this was never about white or Asian or American or Japanese or Japanese specifically or will any East Asian actress do? It’s about sharing the spotlight. Hence why taking one of the few international properties widely recognised and celebrated outside of its country of origin, sucking out the ground breaking Eastern philosophical tones, and bolting Scarlet Johanson onto the project because ‘She’s so hot right now!’ may not be a travesty or the end of the world, but it’s a disappointing waste of an opportunity. It feels like taking gruel from hungry orphans and feeding it to Bill Gates.

Plus... you know. A lot can be forgiven if the end product turns out really really good.

But the good in all this? Well like I said: even if their efforts just made the situation all the more laughable, they did go through pains to try and placate the backlash, which means they do care. Okay. Yes. The thing they care about is protecting a brand’s profitability in the face of an audience whose wallets are proving harder to seduce than anticipated, but now as opposed to yesteryear they might see that issues of diversity in the arts shouldn’t be shoved off to the side just because we gotta get dat sweet Scarlet Johanson money!

Because the cash-cow of Hollywood now, for better or worse, is the nerd. And nerds by definition care a lot about the minutiae. But perhaps more importantly than that, Hollywood is increasingly aware that the future looks a lot less western and a lot less white than the present. Why do you think Marvel is introducing all these Black, Latino, Middle Eastern, Mixed race, Gay, Asian, etc, characters into the comics? It’s because in ten years, when they still want to be making big superhero blockbusters, they’ll need new characters to replace the expired contracts of Captain America and Iron Man, etc. And they figure it behooves them to build into their future a lot more appeal for the increasingly diversifying movie going public.

I believe (with no small amount of chagrin) that we’re only going to see more and more adaptations of classic anime. Hollywood has a horrible track record with them of course, but consider that Hollywood is increasingly interested in courting the ever growing Chinese market, and making more films with Eastern themes, settings, and styles is a pretty good way to accomplish that. And consider also that there’s nothing the Hollywood genre-film machine fears more than spending money on new and untested ideas. With both of those factors in mind I think the solution for Hollywood will become obvious in time if it isn’t already, and it involves a crappy Akira remake, a crappy Sailor Moon remake, a crappy Evangelion remake, and crappy Studio Ghibli remakes (Oh you don’t think they'd dare? You wanna make a wager?). Japan is, after all, the most successful entertainment producer on an international scale outside of the English speaking countries. (Hmmm, possibly after France. Vivendi has its tendrils all over the place.) I don’t look forward to it, because I don’t look forward to a lot of remakes, because I find the current landscape of aversion to new ideas and forced franchise perpetuity incredibly depressing. But as far as learning how to do a better job of adaptation in the future, for once the studio didn’t just notice the backlash to white-washing a beloved foreign classic, they actually fretted over it. And perhaps they will next time. And with the memory of this “MINO” character fresh in their minds, hopefully they’ll have those frets before making a casting choice. At which point I hope the solution will be as obvious to them as it was to the fans.

Live action Akira will probably happen (it already almost did, and they wanted to move it from Neo-Tokyo to Neo-Manhattan) it will probably suck despite being a big blockbuster, but at least there’s a better chance now it will be a blockbuster that could be the breakout role of some talented young Japanese American somewhere who doesn’t otherwise have much hope of being offered a role as the latest superhero. And some young kid from Asian immigrant parents might see him on the silver screen and feel impassioned.

[theconservativebrief]

Anyone that follows Beltway Twitter knows it’s a deeply insular and self-involved world dominated by men who almost exclusively speak to each other. But now there’s research to prove it.

“When male journalists reply to other beltway journalists, they reply to another male journalist 91.5% of the time,” according to a study to be published in the the International Journal of Press/Politics, titled “Twitter Makes It Worse: Political Journalists, Gendered Echo Chambers, and the Amplification of Gender Bias.”

Of the 25 reporters who received the most replies from male political reporters, zero were women. Full data sets, including names of individual reporters, are available here and here.

Christina Animashaun/Vox

The study also identified the 25 political reporters who male political reporters retweet the most. Of the 25, just three are women.

“We found that male journalists, indeed, were more likely to retweet other male journalists— in fact, when male journalists retweet, they retweet men almost three times more often than they retweet women.”

The top three women, no surprise here, are stars: Seung Min Kim, 11th on the list, Hadas Gold, 20th, and Kasie Hunt, 21st.

(Disclosure: I’ve worked with all of them along the way. Kim, who I edited at Politico, is a dominant Hill reporter, now at the Washington Post, who does not seem to eat or sleep. Gold covered media at a frenetic pace for Politico, where I worked with her on a story or two, and now reports from Europe for CNN. Hunt is one of the best political correspondents on TV, in my expert opinion. She’s works for NBC and was a colleague of mine at Politico in 2011.)

“I’ve never seen statistical significance like this before,” said lead author Nikki Usher, who conducted the study while a professor at George Washington University.

Christina Animashaun/Vox

The study includes every reporter (print, digital, radio and television) with a public Twitter account who is credentialed to cover Congress for an English-language outlet, including some British publications, like the Economist and the Guardian.

Congressional hard passes are a decent way to establish a peer group of Washington reporters. News organizations must show they are actual news outlets and individual reporters must demonstrate they are actual journalists. And the list is public, unlike at the White House. Though White House reporters are also typically credentialed in Congress, too.

In all, researchers looked at the accounts of 2,292 journalists, 57 percent of whom were men and 43 percent women.

“If you have a hard pass to cover Congress and a Twitter account and you were current as of start of data collection (June 1, 2017), you’re in our sample,” said Usher, who is transitioning to a professorship at the University of Illinois.

Under Congressional credentialing rules, reporters must live in the Washington area, which is why top political reporters based in other states, like New York, were not included. (Or negligent journalists, like me, who let their passes expire.)

Usher and her co-authors Jesse Holcomb and Justin Littman write that the patterns “suggest that men live in a gendered echo chamber that promotes other male journalists at the expense of female ones.” Women end up, too, in their own gendered silo, tweeting more often with other women, but their corner of Twitter is far less influential.

Overall, women tweet less, which helps explain why women had far fewer followers in aggregate, which the authors say is a significant reason why they are less influential.

Women tweet less for all kinds of valid reasons. As in any industry, there’s the straightforward matter of time for career women with children. And then there’s the platform itself, widely documented as a less-welcoming (at best) place for women.

The authors conclude, “This is not about algorithms, but about the behaviour of journalists, especially male journalists, and structural inequalities in the journalistic profession.”

In a moment when questions about gender and power are erupting in politics, Washington journalism Twitter is important. Not only is #MeToo itself a movement that lives on Twitter, but the platform shapes who is seen as important by influencers in political journalism and whose ideas become the news. It tells us who matters. And right now, women don’t matter much.

“The women’s voices just don’t get heard,” Usher said.

Men in the study have several advantages on Twitter that build up their stature and legitimacy among journalists, even without the friendly exchanges among themselves:

Male journalists in the study sent about two-thirds of all the original tweets (not retweets or replies), while women tweeted just the remaining third.

Men were slightly more likely to be “verified,” a special status granted to known-quantity users, which Twitter signals with a small blue icon. Verified users tend to attract more followers than other users.

Men had a rate of about twice as many followers as women.

Christina Animashaun/Vox

All three of these differences, the authors argue, give male journalists an upper hand on media Twitter. In particular, followers are important. “If journalists are making an assessment about which of their peers is worth paying attention to on Twitter, this huge gender asymmetry in aggregate followers may well have a disproportionate impact in the perceived legitimacy of their peers,” the authors wrote.

One reason men have more followers is tweet volume. The more you tweet, the more likely you’ll get a retweet, a reply, or a new follower. “Original tweets are the wellspring of engagement and amplification by other Twitter users, and if women tweet less, they will be heard less,” the authors write.

Even men who want to help fix the gender bias against women face a challenge by the fewer tweets: “One can only reply or retweet if one has something to respond to,” the authors write.

There are a number of likely reasons why women tweet less — from the time-crunch many career women face doing double-duty at home to working hard at proving themselves again and again at work (when men do not have to).

But the platform itself is also a factor: it’s a more-hostile place for women than it is for men. Amnesty International looked at how all women are treated on Twitter and went so far as to say the platform violates women’s basic human rights. “Instead of strengthening women’s voices, the violence and abuse many women experience on the platform leads women to self-censor what they post, limit their interactions, and even drives women off Twitter completely.”

I agree with New York magazine’s summary of the study:

To put it more bluntly, Amnesty International published a giant study detailing what most women who actively use Twitter could have already told you: Twitter can be a hostile and dangerous place if you’re not a man.

For women in powerful positions, like media, the situation is worse. A Forbes contributor described a study commissioned by a communications firm of 50 million tweets that 152 powerful women (in business, politics, entertainment, and other prominent fields) received over six months:

Powerful women not only experienced a high volume of online harassment but also broad range of abuse such as, gender specific slurs, attacks on individual intellect and ability, body objectification, sexual harassment and even threats of sexual violence.

When women try to get Twitter to help them out, the company has, historically, not been great. In the case of Maura Quint, a writer for outlets including the New Yorker who submitted a complaint over a dick pic, the company sent her three different responses.

Women even boycotted Twitter when Rose McGowan’s account was suspended after she tweeted about Harvey Weinstein and sexual assault, even though countless women receive threats of sexual violence from men and Twitter does nothing. (There was some back-and-forth about the wisdom of leaving a platform over a woman being silenced, but that’s neither here nor there.)

The authors of the study argue that “the nature of the platform itself, the hostile and toxic environment women face online … and implicit gender bias sets women up to be less represented on the platform, and may well create an even greater structural disadvantage for female journalists, given how this platform is so critical to success in beltway journalism.”

It’s a bit of a mystery why men in media speak almost exclusively to each other. What’s not to like about tweeting with women?

I’m told, anecdotally, some men worry about appearing flirtatious or inappropriate. They don’t want to make a woman feel uncomfortable, either. So they just steer clear. But this act of perceived chivalry (or self preservation) has the same effect as purposeful gender bias.

It’s hard to argue that deciding not to tweet at someone is as bad as male members of Congress opting never to take private meetings with female staff, but it sets women up the same way. When women are excluded from the informal customs that advance careers, they’re left behind. Twitter is fun, it’s jokey, but it’s also where careers are built. “This is how work happens here,” Usher said, describing the significance of Twitter in Washington journalism.

Women’s exclusion from political conversations isn’t unique to Twitter. In 2013, Media Matters showed the stark gender discrepancies on the Sunday politics shows. Two years later, the data, if anything, looked worse.

In news, women are behind, too. According to the Women’s Media Center annual report from 2017, men dominated every news platform: They accounted for 74.8 percent of broadcast news, 61.9 percent of newspaper articles, 62.4 percent of wire service copy and 53.9 percent of online news articles. (This data is not specific to political news, but news as a whole.)

We’re used to leaving women out of the conversation.

It’s difficult to say what it means that our political conversation is dominated by men on a platform so hostile to women. My colleague Ezra Klein raised a similar question last year after Mark Halperin of ABC and Leon Wieseltier of the New Republic fell from prominent posts over accusations of sexual misconduct and, for Halperin specifically, sexual assault.

What does it mean that these men — and so many others liked them — held the power to literally shape America’s political narrative? What does it mean, as New York magazine’s Rebecca Traister noted on Twitter, that the story of, say, Hillary Clinton’s public career was told by these sorts of men?

It’s a question still unanswered. And now that we also know men are dominating Twitter, where the #MeToo and #TimesUp movements continue to fuel a cultural awakening around sexual abuse and harassment, to what extent are even those successful movements being stunted?

“Women operate at a disadvantage,” Usher said. “The power to control the dialogue is still in the hands of men.”

Meanwhile, women are building networks among themselves. This instinct isn’t new to women in political journalism, either. The Washington Press Club started out in 1919 as an all-women’s group of six journalists, the alternative to the men’s-only club they couldn’t join. Their founding promotional pitch was simply: “The other day, when a few of us happened to be together, it occurred to us that it might be both pleasant and profitable for the newspaper and magazine women of Washington to have some means of getting together in informal and irregular fashion.”

Ninety-nine years later, on Twitter, women in Washington media are again trying to find a way to get together in an informal fashion and start their own club. But maybe it’s time to say, hey, let us in.

Original Source -> Study: male political reporters retweet other dudes 3 times more than their female colleagues

via The Conservative Brief

[ultralifehackerguru-blog]

New Post has been published on http://www.lifehacker.guru/tough-love-stale-sandwiches-awaiting-affection-and-writing-a-way-out-2/

Tough Love: Stale Sandwiches, Awaiting Affection, and Writing a Way Out

You’ve got problems, I’ve got advice. This advice isn’t sugar-coated—in fact, it’s sugar-free, and may even be a little bitter. Welcome to Tough Love.

This week we have some kids who don’t like sandwiches for some reason, a teen who isn’t sure how to ask girls on dates, and a young professional who wants to write and isn’t happy with her current circumstances.

Keep in mind, I’m not a therapist or any other kind of health professional—just a guy who’s willing to tell it like it is. I simply want to give you the tools you need to enrich your damn lives. If for whatever reason you don’t like my advice, feel free to file a formal complaint here. Now then, let’s get on with it.

This Father’s Picky Kids Are Bored with Their Sandwich Lunches

Dear Patrick,

My kids are getting sick of sandwiches for lunch. The school lunches are terrible, so they won’t eat most of those. I’m trying to figure out some alternative options that give them nutrition and fulfillment. Any and all ideas are welcome, as a lot of my ideas are turning out too time-consuming or too expensive.

Your biggest fan, by volume,

TheRevanchist

Hey Rev,

I’m not a parent, but the fact you’re even taking the time to bother with this is a serious display of patience in my book. I mean, if I were you, I’d tell my kids exactly what I was told: “You can either eat what we give you, or you can not eat.”

I didn’t even get the option for cold lunches and happily ate the school’s weird, rectangular, plastic pizza almost every day. I drank the nearly expired, lukewarm milk, chewed through unnaturally sweetened gelatin desserts that had developed that weird tough outer skin, and relished beef and cheddar days because the processed nacho cheese overpowered the flavor of old roast beef just enough to make it a passable meal. And to top it all off, I worked in the school cafeteria kitchen to cover the cost of my own questionable lunch.

Besides, there are so many wonderful types of sandwich, I don’t understand how you can get sick of them. They’re cheap, easy, fairly nutritious most of the time, and I think your kids should just eat the damn things. Frankly, if they’re old enough to complain, they’re old enough to make their own lunches! Not every meal is a smorgasbord of your greatest mouthwatering desires. Sometimes food is just fuel so you can go learn shit.

This Inexperienced Teenager Doesn’t Know Where to Start With Dating

Hey Patrick,

I am 19 years old and am getting frustrated with the lack of intimacy I have experienced with girls. I have had some physical experience, but nothing consistent. I am currently at university, I am in pretty good shape, and I have an okay social life. I have also been told I am good-looking by someone who isn’t my mother, so I think I look okay and do make some sort of effort. I meet new girls on a regular basis now because of university, and I don’t have an issue talking to any of them, but I am really struggling to connect with them. It just doesn’t feel like they are ever all that into me or are interested in sticking around.

I do have a theory as to why I’m struggling, of course. I am originally from Israel. I have been moving back and forth for a while now and spent half my life there, but right now I live in Australia. I always found Israeli girls a lot more straightforward and easier to engage with. I found that when an Israeli liked me, she would always make the effort and made it really obvious. Are Australians just more timid? Or are they just not attracted to me?

Beyond that, I feel like, because of my lack of experience, I don’t know how to make things happen. I have zero dating experience and I only really know how to make things happen in a party environment. I never asked someone on a date before. I don’t know what the socially acceptable way is. And I find it impossible to know when a girl likes me or if any of them do. I have no idea how to get from the dating phase to the physical stuff. What sort of stuff do you do on a date anyhow?

Sincerely,

Desperate Down Under

Hey Des,

So you’re 19 and frustrated because you’re not getting any action? Join the club, they have jackets. I’m only kidding—they’re not jackets, they’re pretty pink sashes that read “Please love me.” I think I have mine buried somewhere in my closet.

It sounds like you’ve got a good chunk of the important basics down: you take care of yourself, you’re socially adept, you don’t look like a hairless dog, and you put yourself in social positions that allow you to meet new people. All good things!

But here’s the problem: you’re waiting for girls to walk up to you and tell you that they like you. That’s ridiculous! I can’t speak for Aussie girls specifically, but if they’re anything like American girls, they aren’t going to do that. It happens sometimes, sure, but they’re more apt to send signals and drop hints, which, for a clueless dude like you, is like tossing a coded message into the ocean only to be found by a blind dude hundreds of years later.

Israeli girls may have been easier to approach and engage with, but now you have to make the effort—and make it obvious. Girls may very well be attracted to you but think you don’t like them because you’re not pursuing them, or totally ignoring them in hopes they’ll magically figure it out. I just picture you standing in the corner at a party, sipping your drink, muttering to yourself “none of these girls like me,” and it makes me want to scream. In fact, I just did, but you can’t hear it because this is text. Here, this helps get my point across:

Now, before we go on, I hope by “make things happen” you mean start a positive, loving relationship that may or may not lead to intimacy. Because if you mean something else by it, or if you’re looking for tips on how to become one of those sleazy, pickup-artist garbage people, you’re approaching this all wrong. But I’ll go ahead and assume you’re just a nice timid guy who’s looking for a way to get a handle on dating. Moving on.

Asking someone on a date is actually the easy part, my man. You simply ask if they’d like to grab coffee/get a drink/go to an event/hang out with you sometime. That’s totally socially acceptable. It’s actually the lead up to the asking that’s the real hard part. You need to learn how to read people: the things they say and the way they move. There are tons of guides out there on how to tell when someone is flirting with you, but honestly, the best way to get a feel for that is through trial and error. Strike up a conversation with a nice girl at one of these parties or university events and see where things go. If she’s smiling, laughing, touching your arm lightly, and clearly enjoying your conversation, ask for her number, or see if she’d be interested in meeting up sometime. She might not be down, but rejection is a reality you’ll have to face. It’s not personal (even if it feels like it is), so don’t take it that way, and move on. If she says yes, plan a date that gives you a chance to talk and interact so you can get to know each other better.

If going through this process face-to-face seems like too much for you, try dating apps! The people you find on those are actively looking for dates—well, most of them—and it gives you a dedicated space to practice talking to women and feeling out whether they’re interested in you or not. It’s not quite the same as talking in person, but every little bit of practice helps.

In regard to “getting to the physical stuff,” I feel the need to clarify things for you again. There’s no “dating phase” and then a “physical phase.” You make it sound like there are levels you have beat on your way to the sexy boss fight in a video game, or that you have to do hard time being around someone before they let you run free in their garden of unlimited pleasure.

Physical stuff is part of dating, and it will usually happen organically. I get that you’re frustrated, dude, but don’t make getting physical your main goal. You’ll set yourself up for disappointment, more frustration, and you’ll be missing out on the exhilarating bliss of truly getting to know someone. Also, it’s sad, gross, and desperate—and women can smell desperation from a mile away. Let feelings and trust build up as you spend time together—then, when the time is right for you both, you won’t have to “make things happen,” they just will.

This Young Professional Is Buried in Debt But Wants to Write

Hey Patrick,

I am miserable. I’m 26, I have 6-figures of student debt, and I’m currently working in a strong industry making a decent salary, but it’s an industry I don’t give one fig for. I’ve been working here 3 years. My misery is getting to the point where I come to work and stare at my screen for about 30 minutes because I just can’t bring myself to work.

My student debt is an important part of the problem because it’s what’s keeping me stuck: without it I wouldn’t have an issue pursuing my dreams of working as an entertainment writer, but as things currently stand, I need to be making the amount I’m making now to keep my life functional. (Note: I already cut back on extraneous things in life; I live with my parents and don’t do too much to save as much money as I can.)

I’ve gotten to the point where I feel that life isn’t worth living because what use is a life where you can’t do anything because spending money is off the table, you hate your work life, and you hate your home life because you’re stuck with your parents to save money?

I don’t want to feel like this anymore: I want to be happy, or at least content, so I’m thinking the place to start is with getting a new job. The problem is, I came into my current industry basically out of college and now I feel I’m not qualified to do anything other than what I do now.

I’ve been scouring job boards and LinkedIn for opportunities to no avail. Even assistant jobs require previous experience, and again, I need to ensure a job will pay at least as much as I’m currently making…

What should I do to change my fortunes? I’m open to almost any career in entertainment, not just writing, but it’s damn near impossible to get a foot in the door (I live in LA). Should I, given the circumstances, shoulder my misery for the sake of my paycheck and stay put? Should I take a pay-nothing/pay-little job with hopes the paycheck will increase over time as an investment in my own happiness (but at the risk of my credit and overall financial standing)?

Best,

Miserable TV Junkie

Hey Junkie,

Life is worth living. In truth, that’s all it’s really good for. That said, if you are actually having suicidal thoughts and not just being hyperbolic, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. Do it for me, do it for your family, do it for your friends, do it for yourself. I’m not asking, I’m telling.

Now then: you’ve got tons of debt and you’re stuck at home, but you’ve also got a decent job that pays well. You’re already better off than a lot of people I know! You may not like the work you do, but a good salary at your age is hard to find, and it’s the fastest way to pay off those miserable student loans. Besides, the sooner you pay those off, the sooner you’ll be free to explore other careers and lifestyles. It sucks now, but it won’t always suck if you stay vigilant. Don’t go chasing happiness—it will backfire. And don’t go changing jobs on a whim thinking it will solve all of your problems! I’ve researched this quite a bit and psychologists warn against taking plunges like that and “ripping off the band-aid,” so to speak. You’re better off trying to make the best of where you’re at for now and enriching your life in other ways. It sucks, but you can endure, trust me. Lots of people have done it.

Also, living with your parents might kill your vibe a bit, but it’s also an opportunity to spend more time with them while you have them. Later on you’ll probably be grateful for every extra second you got, even if it meant having less of a social life. You might want to thank your lucky stars they’re willing to let you stay with them too. Adjust your perspective a little bit, Junkie, and you’ll realize things aren’t all that miserable.

And you don’t have to just sit around, crying into your blankets, moldering in your room at home. There’s plenty you can do during this time—like writing! You want to be a screenwriter (I’m assuming)? Then start writing! You don’t become a screenwriter by wanting to be one. Get a free screenwriting program like Celtx or WriterDuet, find a good book on screenwriting rules and formatting, and focus all these emotions into some top-notch drama! By the time you’ve paid off your student loans, you could have a nice portfolio of feature screenplays, TV pilots, and spec scripts that just might get you into a writer’s room.

If you’re wondering why this is your best course of action, here’s some hard, fast truth. First, you need to know you still have plenty of time to get into the entertainment industry, especially as a writer. I have several friends who work in television and film (no, I won’t put you in touch with them), and I’ve also spoken with or heard from a lot of screenwriters at panels about how they got to where they are. You’d be happy to hear that very few of them started off as a writer or PA or anything like that right out of school. In fact, most of the people in “the biz” I know moved into it laterally and didn’t even study film in college. So, regardless of what you’re doing now, it’s totally possible down the line. That’s the good news.

The bad news is there are really only two ways to move into entertainment. Laterally, as I mentioned, which, in your case, would probably require you to know someone. IT REALLY IS ALL ABOUT WHO YOU KNOW. Or starting from the bottom and crawling your way up, which would definitely not provide the pay you need to tackle those loans. Like, not even close. DO NOT DO IT, at least not until those loans are paid off.

So how do you meet people in the business who can help? Look for writing groups, events, or festivals focused on screenwriting. Join, show up, talk to people, share your writing, ask for notes, offer to give notes, network with cool people, and develop rapport with those who are willing to take you under their wing. Be prepared to have your writing torn apart and lit on fire in front of everybody, and expect a lot of resistance when you’re new and inexperienced. Don’t give in. Buckle down, Miserable TV Junkie, work on your craft, funnel your emotions into words, and make the most of your job until you can dig yourself out of this temporary rut.

Quickies

Because I just don’t have the time or patience for all of you…

Hard Truther asks:

Hi Patrick,

I want to dole out no-nonsense advice to people because I’m a thousand times better at fixing other people’s problems than my own. I also get right to the crux. I want to call it Hard Truth. However, I don’t have a platform in which anyone will write me for advice and someone already has this Lifehacker column called Tough Love that sounds similar.

Should I even bother? If I should, how do I get an audience and submissions?

Nah, don’t bother. Next!

Mare says:

Dearest Paddy,

I’m struggling with a quarter-to-mid-career crisis. I want to move from IT to perhaps data science, and I have a shitty Physics degree at least, but my academic life was a blur of depression and anxiety.

Please kick my ass and tell me I can do whatever I want once I put my shriveled little brain to it…

Mare, you can do whatever you want once you put your shriveled little brain to it. Expect a kick in the ass in the mail. I’m on fire! Order up!

You gain 100 experience points. Level up! asks:

I live in LA. Dating is horrible and I am over it. Seriously, I was on a TV show for dating and nothing panned out. Also, I am never going to be able to afford a house here. I want to try a new place with new experiences where I can buy property and live a good life, hopefully meeting a special someone and exploring my hobbies. I am not running from anything, [I’m] happy with life. I simply want to live somewhere other than LA. I work in tech, what would you suggest?

Wait… You DIDN’T find true love on a reality TV show?! Gasp.

I live in LA as well, and dating can be pretty horrible here (Oh you’re an actor slash model? Do go on!), but it can also be pretty awesome. I’m not sure how much worse it is here compared to other cities. So I don’t know if dating is a great reason to leave, but you definitely should if you want to buy property and not pay and arm and a leg for it.

You work in tech? I hear Raleigh, North Carolina isn’t too shabby. Neither is Austin or Dallas, Texas. Maybe even check out Colorado Springs.

That’s it for this week, but I still have plenty of blunt, honest advice bottled up inside. Tell me, what’s troubling you? Is work getting you down? Are you having problems with a friend or a coworker? Is your love life going through a rough patch? Do you just feel lost in life, like you have no direction? Tell me, and maybe I can help. I probably won’t make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, but sometimes what you need is some tough love. Ask away in the comments below, or email me at the address you see at the bottom of the page (please include “ADVICE” in the subject line). ‘Til next time, figure things out for yourself.

©

[filosofablogger]

WAIT … MONDAY AGAIN ALREADY???  Did not we just have Monday a few days ago?  Ah well, I needed to come up out of the rabbit hole for a breath of fresh air anyway, so let us all grab a nice steamy cup of java and see if we can find something to chuckle about!

London’s Heathrow Airport has been especially busy this week … with critter issues!  Two stories crossed my path today about critters causing consternation among the Brits at Heathrow:

First there was the mouse that grounded an airplane.  A British Airways flight to San Francisco was grounded for around four hours after the plane’s crew announced there was a mouse on board. Now why this was such a huge problem, I don’t understand, but apparently it is against regulations to fly with a mouse on board.  All passengers were forced to leave the plane while authorities (presumably) captured the mouse.  The passengers, though no doubt not particularly happy, had some fun tweeting and twitting about it:

“Just had my flight to SFO cancelled because of a mouse on board the plane. Could it not get a visa??”

“I’m going to sell this to the movies. It can be the slightly more pedestrian prequel to snakes on a plane. Maybe this is what lured them on?”

And this Facebook post …

Then the very next day came the tale of some 600,000 eels.  Yes, eels.  You know … slimy snake-like critters that slither around, mostly minding their own business until some hungry dude decides to eat one of them in his sushi.  An unnamed 64-year-old man was caught trying to smuggle the eels through Heathrow from Spain to Hong Kong, where, presumably he had a buyer.  The eels were considered to be worth some £1.2 million ($1.48 million USD).  While considered an Asian delicacy, the European Union has a ban on the export of glass eels, since their numbers have dropped by 90% in recent years, and they are considered an endangered species.  The man was arrested, and is out on bail pending an August trial, while the eels were send back to Spain, from whence they came.  No word on whether there was any trauma or injury to the poor little eels.

Now, I never owned a wedding dress … the one time I got married, we met at the Justice of the Peace office during our respective lunch breaks, so I was in a business suit, and he was in jeans.  Perhaps that does not make me the best judge of what a ‘real’ wedding or wedding dress should be.  But … I really always thought something silky, with long lace sleeves might be nice.  However, Diane Nguyen had other ideas.  Perhaps it was always her dream to get married in a Taco Bell wearing a wedding dress made of … burrito wrappers!

Apparently Taco Bell was running a contest called ‘Love & Tacos’. On Valentine’s Day Taco Bell announced the chain will hold weddings at its Las Vegas Strip Cantina location and offered one lucky couple the chance to compete for a free trip to be the first couple married at the restaurant. The prize includes airfare for six to Las Vegas, a room at the Planet Hollywood hotel, a catered dinner at the Cantina, professional wedding photography and videography and various Taco Bell branded wedding extras. To enter, all you have to do is upload a photo or 30-second video to Twitter or Instagram using the hashtag #LoveAndTacosContest that explains how Taco Bell figures into your love story. The contest ended on Feb. 26 and the winner will be announced on March 16.

No word yet, of course, on whether Ms. Nguyen is the winner, and since I have not see the other entries, I cannot say, but I certainly cannot imagine an entry any more original than hers!  Best of luck, Ms. Nguyen!  Even those who do not win can get married at the Taco Bell Chapel for just $600!  A bargain … I guess …

A person really ought to clean their car more than once a year.  I said the same to my daughter today when I tried to use 3 separate bottles of hand sanitizer in her car, and all three turned out to be empty.  But an Australian man surely learned this lesson when cleaning out his car, he discovered a winning lottery ticket … that was 414 days old!!!  The drawing, held on 09 January 2016, yielded four winners, one of which was this unnamed man from Newcastle.  The man was lucky that in Australia, lottery tickets don’t expire as quickly as they do in some other places, and he was able to cash in his ticket for $1,020,496.38 — or $781,108.34 in U.S. dollars.  Euromillions tickets expire after 180 days, and in the U.S., some Powerball tickets expire as early as 90 days, but in Australia they are considered valid for up to 18 months.

In a similar story, an Oregon man in the U.S. found a lottery ticket he had purchased in January 2016 while cleaning his home office this January, found it to be a winning ticket to the tune of $1 million, and had just 8 days left until it expired!  Needless to say, he wasted no time getting to the lottery office the next morning!

Let this be a lesson, folks … clean stuff!  Else make a place for your lottery tickets and check them weekly.  I haven’t bought a ticket for years, but when I did, I always stuck them on the side of the refrigerator using a refrigerator magnet so I wouldn’t lose them. Can you imagine finding an old ticket, a winning million-dollar ticket, only to find it expired the day before!

Judith Armstrong of Madison County, Georgia, is a vegan.  That means she does not eat animals or byproducts of animals, such as eggs, milk, butter.  All well and fine, to each his own, but she got a bit carried away last month when she saw a truck loaded with live chickens, and she rammed the truck with her car.  Not a bright thing to do, but then she rammed the truck yet again!  And then she left the scene.

The driver of the truck contacted police, described the car, and as luck would have it, the front license plate had fallen off the car, so police were easily able to locate Ms. Armstrong.  But … she refused to let them into her home, and speaking to them through a window told them she crashed into the truck because she is a vegan.  Eventually she was arrested and now faces charges for hit and run, aggressive driving, driving under the influence, and obstruction.  Happily, I am able to report that not a single one of the chickens was injured.  But … they were on their way to the “processing plant”, so … :’(

And that’s a wrap for this Monday morning, dear friends!  Yes, sadly it is time for you to go do whatever it is you do on Mondays.  But take heart … another weekend is just around the corner, and … in exactly two weeks, it will be the official start of SPRING!!! Oh yes … one last thing … I challenge you to spread as many smiles today as you can.  Smile at the lady at the drive-thru, smile at your co-workers, even smile at your boss!  Either you will make them feel a bit better, or they will think you’ve lost your mind … either way, it’s all good!  Have a safe and smiley day!

                    ♫ It’s The Most Wonderful Day Of The Week ♪ WAIT … MONDAY AGAIN ALREADY???  Did not we just have Monday a few days ago?  Ah well, I needed to come up out of the rabbit hole for a breath of fresh air anyway, so let us all grab a nice steamy cup of java and see if we can find something to chuckle about!

[ultralifehackerguru-blog]

New Post has been published on http://www.lifehacker.guru/tough-love-stale-sandwiches-awaiting-affection-and-writing-a-way-out/

Tough Love: Stale Sandwiches, Awaiting Affection, and Writing a Way Out

You’ve got problems, I’ve got advice. This advice isn’t sugar-coated—in fact, it’s sugar-free, and may even be a little bitter. Welcome to Tough Love.

This week we have some kids who don’t like sandwiches for some reason, a teen who isn’t sure how to ask girls on dates, and a young professional who wants to write and isn’t happy with her current circumstances.

Keep in mind, I’m not a therapist or any other kind of health professional—just a guy who’s willing to tell it like it is. I simply want to give you the tools you need to enrich your damn lives. If for whatever reason you don’t like my advice, feel free to file a formal complaint here. Now then, let’s get on with it.

This Father’s Picky Kids Are Bored with Their Sandwich Lunches

Dear Patrick,

My kids are getting sick of sandwiches for lunch. The school lunches are terrible, so they won’t eat most of those. I’m trying to figure out some alternative options that give them nutrition and fulfillment. Any and all ideas are welcome, as a lot of my ideas are turning out too time-consuming or too expensive.

Your biggest fan, by volume,

TheRevanchist

Hey Rev,

I’m not a parent, but the fact you’re even taking the time to bother with this is a serious display of patience in my book. I mean, if I were you, I’d tell my kids exactly what I was told: “You can either eat what we give you, or you can not eat.”

I didn’t even get the option for cold lunches and happily ate the school’s weird, rectangular, plastic pizza almost every day. I drank the nearly expired, lukewarm milk, chewed through unnaturally sweetened gelatin desserts that had developed that weird tough outer skin, and relished beef and cheddar days because the processed nacho cheese overpowered the flavor of old roast beef just enough to make it a passable meal. And to top it all off, I worked in the school cafeteria kitchen to cover the cost of my own questionable lunch.

Besides, there are so many wonderful types of sandwich, I don’t understand how you can get sick of them. They’re cheap, easy, fairly nutritious most of the time, and I think your kids should just eat the damn things. Frankly, if they’re old enough to complain, they’re old enough to make their own lunches! Not every meal is a smorgasbord of your greatest mouthwatering desires. Sometimes food is just fuel so you can go learn shit.

This Inexperienced Teenager Doesn’t Know Where to Start With Dating

Hey Patrick,

I am 19 years old and am getting frustrated with the lack of intimacy I have experienced with girls. I have had some physical experience, but nothing consistent. I am currently at university, I am in pretty good shape, and I have an okay social life. I have also been told I am good-looking by someone who isn’t my mother, so I think I look okay and do make some sort of effort. I meet new girls on a regular basis now because of university, and I don’t have an issue talking to any of them, but I am really struggling to connect with them. It just doesn’t feel like they are ever all that into me or are interested in sticking around.

I do have a theory as to why I’m struggling, of course. I am originally from Israel. I have been moving back and forth for a while now and spent half my life there, but right now I live in Australia. I always found Israeli girls a lot more straightforward and easier to engage with. I found that when an Israeli liked me, she would always make the effort and made it really obvious. Are Australians just more timid? Or are they just not attracted to me?

Beyond that, I feel like, because of my lack of experience, I don’t know how to make things happen. I have zero dating experience and I only really know how to make things happen in a party environment. I never asked someone on a date before. I don’t know what the socially acceptable way is. And I find it impossible to know when a girl likes me or if any of them do. I have no idea how to get from the dating phase to the physical stuff. What sort of stuff do you do on a date anyhow?

Sincerely,

Desperate Down Under

Hey Des,

So you’re 19 and frustrated because you’re not getting any action? Join the club, they have jackets. I’m only kidding—they’re not jackets, they’re pretty pink sashes that read “Please love me.” I think I have mine buried somewhere in my closet.

It sounds like you’ve got a good chunk of the important basics down: you take care of yourself, you’re socially adept, you don’t look like a hairless dog, and you put yourself in social positions that allow you to meet new people. All good things!

But here’s the problem: you’re waiting for girls to walk up to you and tell you that they like you. That’s ridiculous! I can’t speak for Aussie girls specifically, but if they’re anything like American girls, they aren’t going to do that. It happens sometimes, sure, but they’re more apt to send signals and drop hints, which, for a clueless dude like you, is like tossing a coded message into the ocean only to be found by a blind dude hundreds of years later.

Israeli girls may have been easier to approach and engage with, but now you have to make the effort—and make it obvious. Girls may very well be attracted to you but think you don’t like them because you’re not pursuing them, or totally ignoring them in hopes they’ll magically figure it out. I just picture you standing in the corner at a party, sipping your drink, muttering to yourself “none of these girls like me,” and it makes me want to scream. In fact, I just did, but you can’t hear it because this is text. Here, this helps get my point across:

Now, before we go on, I hope by “make things happen” you mean start a positive, loving relationship that may or may not lead to intimacy. Because if you mean something else by it, or if you’re looking for tips on how to become one of those sleazy, pickup-artist garbage people, you’re approaching this all wrong. But I’ll go ahead and assume you’re just a nice timid guy who’s looking for a way to get a handle on dating. Moving on.

Asking someone on a date is actually the easy part, my man. You simply ask if they’d like to grab coffee/get a drink/go to an event/hang out with you sometime. That’s totally socially acceptable. It’s actually the lead up to the asking that’s the real hard part. You need to learn how to read people: the things they say and the way they move. There are tons of guides out there on how to tell when someone is flirting with you, but honestly, the best way to get a feel for that is through trial and error. Strike up a conversation with a nice girl at one of these parties or university events and see where things go. If she’s smiling, laughing, touching your arm lightly, and clearly enjoying your conversation, ask for her number, or see if she’d be interested in meeting up sometime. She might not be down, but rejection is a reality you’ll have to face. It’s not personal (even if it feels like it is), so don’t take it that way, and move on. If she says yes, plan a date that gives you a chance to talk and interact so you can get to know each other better.

If going through this process face-to-face seems like too much for you, try dating apps! The people you find on those are actively looking for dates—well, most of them—and it gives you a dedicated space to practice talking to women and feeling out whether they’re interested in you or not. It’s not quite the same as talking in person, but every little bit of practice helps.

In regard to “getting to the physical stuff,” I feel the need to clarify things for you again. There’s no “dating phase” and then a “physical phase.” You make it sound like there are levels you have beat on your way to the sexy boss fight in a video game, or that you have to do hard time being around someone before they let you run free in their garden of unlimited pleasure.

Physical stuff is part of dating, and it will usually happen organically. I get that you’re frustrated, dude, but don’t make getting physical your main goal. You’ll set yourself up for disappointment, more frustration, and you’ll be missing out on the exhilarating bliss of truly getting to know someone. Also, it’s sad, gross, and desperate—and women can smell desperation from a mile away. Let feelings and trust build up as you spend time together—then, when the time is right for you both, you won’t have to “make things happen,” they just will.

This Young Professional Is Buried in Debt But Wants to Write

Hey Patrick,

I am miserable. I’m 26, I have 6-figures of student debt, and I’m currently working in a strong industry making a decent salary, but it’s an industry I don’t give one fig for. I’ve been working here 3 years. My misery is getting to the point where I come to work and stare at my screen for about 30 minutes because I just can’t bring myself to work.

My student debt is an important part of the problem because it’s what’s keeping me stuck: without it I wouldn’t have an issue pursuing my dreams of working as an entertainment writer, but as things currently stand, I need to be making the amount I’m making now to keep my life functional. (Note: I already cut back on extraneous things in life; I live with my parents and don’t do too much to save as much money as I can.)

I’ve gotten to the point where I feel that life isn’t worth living because what use is a life where you can’t do anything because spending money is off the table, you hate your work life, and you hate your home life because you’re stuck with your parents to save money?

I don’t want to feel like this anymore: I want to be happy, or at least content, so I’m thinking the place to start is with getting a new job. The problem is, I came into my current industry basically out of college and now I feel I’m not qualified to do anything other than what I do now.

I’ve been scouring job boards and LinkedIn for opportunities to no avail. Even assistant jobs require previous experience, and again, I need to ensure a job will pay at least as much as I’m currently making…

What should I do to change my fortunes? I’m open to almost any career in entertainment, not just writing, but it’s damn near impossible to get a foot in the door (I live in LA). Should I, given the circumstances, shoulder my misery for the sake of my paycheck and stay put? Should I take a pay-nothing/pay-little job with hopes the paycheck will increase over time as an investment in my own happiness (but at the risk of my credit and overall financial standing)?

Best,

Miserable TV Junkie

Hey Junkie,

Life is worth living. In truth, that’s all it’s really good for. That said, if you are actually having suicidal thoughts and not just being hyperbolic, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. Do it for me, do it for your family, do it for your friends, do it for yourself. I’m not asking, I’m telling.

Now then: you’ve got tons of debt and you’re stuck at home, but you’ve also got a decent job that pays well. You’re already better off than a lot of people I know! You may not like the work you do, but a good salary at your age is hard to find, and it’s the fastest way to pay off those miserable student loans. Besides, the sooner you pay those off, the sooner you’ll be free to explore other careers and lifestyles. It sucks now, but it won’t always suck if you stay vigilant. Don’t go chasing happiness—it will backfire. And don’t go changing jobs on a whim thinking it will solve all of your problems! I’ve researched this quite a bit and psychologists warn against taking plunges like that and “ripping off the band-aid,” so to speak. You’re better off trying to make the best of where you’re at for now and enriching your life in other ways. It sucks, but you can endure, trust me. Lots of people have done it.

Also, living with your parents might kill your vibe a bit, but it’s also an opportunity to spend more time with them while you have them. Later on you’ll probably be grateful for every extra second you got, even if it meant having less of a social life. You might want to thank your lucky stars they’re willing to let you stay with them too. Adjust your perspective a little bit, Junkie, and you’ll realize things aren’t all that miserable.

And you don’t have to just sit around, crying into your blankets, moldering in your room at home. There’s plenty you can do during this time—like writing! You want to be a screenwriter (I’m assuming)? Then start writing! You don’t become a screenwriter by wanting to be one. Get a free screenwriting program like Celtx or WriterDuet, find a good book on screenwriting rules and formatting, and focus all these emotions into some top-notch drama! By the time you’ve paid off your student loans, you could have a nice portfolio of feature screenplays, TV pilots, and spec scripts that just might get you into a writer’s room.

If you’re wondering why this is your best course of action, here’s some hard, fast truth. First, you need to know you still have plenty of time to get into the entertainment industry, especially as a writer. I have several friends who work in television and film (no, I won’t put you in touch with them), and I’ve also spoken with or heard from a lot of screenwriters at panels about how they got to where they are. You’d be happy to hear that very few of them started off as a writer or PA or anything like that right out of school. In fact, most of the people in “the biz” I know moved into it laterally and didn’t even study film in college. So, regardless of what you’re doing now, it’s totally possible down the line. That’s the good news.

The bad news is there are really only two ways to move into entertainment. Laterally, as I mentioned, which, in your case, would probably require you to know someone. IT REALLY IS ALL ABOUT WHO YOU KNOW. Or starting from the bottom and crawling your way up, which would definitely not provide the pay you need to tackle those loans. Like, not even close. DO NOT DO IT, at least not until those loans are paid off.

So how do you meet people in the business who can help? Look for writing groups, events, or festivals focused on screenwriting. Join, show up, talk to people, share your writing, ask for notes, offer to give notes, network with cool people, and develop rapport with those who are willing to take you under their wing. Be prepared to have your writing torn apart and lit on fire in front of everybody, and expect a lot of resistance when you’re new and inexperienced. Don’t give in. Buckle down, Miserable TV Junkie, work on your craft, funnel your emotions into words, and make the most of your job until you can dig yourself out of this temporary rut.

Quickies

Because I just don’t have the time or patience for all of you…

Hard Truther asks:

Hi Patrick,

I want to dole out no-nonsense advice to people because I’m a thousand times better at fixing other people’s problems than my own. I also get right to the crux. I want to call it Hard Truth. However, I don’t have a platform in which anyone will write me for advice and someone already has this Lifehacker column called Tough Love that sounds similar.

Should I even bother? If I should, how do I get an audience and submissions?

Nah, don’t bother. Next!

Mare says:

Dearest Paddy,

I’m struggling with a quarter-to-mid-career crisis. I want to move from IT to perhaps data science, and I have a shitty Physics degree at least, but my academic life was a blur of depression and anxiety.

Please kick my ass and tell me I can do whatever I want once I put my shriveled little brain to it…

Mare, you can do whatever you want once you put your shriveled little brain to it. Expect a kick in the ass in the mail. I’m on fire! Order up!

You gain 100 experience points. Level up! asks:

I live in LA. Dating is horrible and I am over it. Seriously, I was on a TV show for dating and nothing panned out. Also, I am never going to be able to afford a house here. I want to try a new place with new experiences where I can buy property and live a good life, hopefully meeting a special someone and exploring my hobbies. I am not running from anything, [I’m] happy with life. I simply want to live somewhere other than LA. I work in tech, what would you suggest?

Wait… You DIDN’T find true love on a reality TV show?! Gasp.

I live in LA as well, and dating can be pretty horrible here (Oh you’re an actor slash model? Do go on!), but it can also be pretty awesome. I’m not sure how much worse it is here compared to other cities. So I don’t know if dating is a great reason to leave, but you definitely should if you want to buy property and not pay and arm and a leg for it.

You work in tech? I hear Raleigh, North Carolina isn’t too shabby. Neither is Austin or Dallas, Texas. Maybe even check out Colorado Springs.

That’s it for this week, but I still have plenty of blunt, honest advice bottled up inside. Tell me, what’s troubling you? Is work getting you down? Are you having problems with a friend or a coworker? Is your love life going through a rough patch? Do you just feel lost in life, like you have no direction? Tell me, and maybe I can help. I probably won’t make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, but sometimes what you need is some tough love. Ask away in the comments below, or email me at the address you see at the bottom of the page (please include “ADVICE” in the subject line). ‘Til next time, figure things out for yourself.

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