#and like your brain changes etc so like of course you want a lot of sugar what the fuck

[entiqua]

I love your artstyle!! Do you have any tips for drawing?

thank you so much! i'm really happy you like it!!💗 as for tips, what i would say would change drastically depending on what kind you're looking for, but some very general ones:

draw what you love and want to see most, regardless of whether anyone else wants to see it. if you don't enjoy what you're drawing it'll never come out as good or genuine as something your whole heart and soul is in. i mean you'd think this would be a no-brainer but sometimes i've had to sit back and ask myself 'if no one was ever going to see this except me, would i actually spend time drawing this?' and i was surprised by the answer

that said, it is also completely valid if your motivation for drawing is to draw for other people! there have been plenty of times where i was too artblocked to draw my own ideas but was still able to draw commissions or gifts and enjoyed it simply because making other people happy with my art makes me happy.

don't get too caught up in having a consistent art style. in my experience this 1000% hinders you

having your sense of anatomy degrade over time without you noticing because you keep drawing the same types of characters is a very real thing! if this is a concern to you be sure to draw a variety

follow a billion artists that you like the art of and you will have endless inspiration injected directly into your brain every time you open social media

my favourite practical tip for those who draw at a desk: keep a small mirror next to you at all times. absolute game changer for quickly referencing hands

if you're drawing digitally, make the canvas huge! in my experience this lets you draw messier/faster and you can't tell at all when you zoom out. if you tend to get stuck spending unnecessary amounts of time micromanaging pixels (me💀) keep it zoomed out while drawing

related to the above point, messy drawings can have far more expressiveness in them than neat and polished drawings. nowadays i never do lineart and go straight from 'barebones stickman pose' to 'varying-levels-of-coherent sketch' and use that as my lineart. sweet freedom from the sketch-looks-better-than-the-lineart phenomenon

if your goal is to improve, then you really do have to scrutinize your art, figure out what you're not satisfied with, and commit the time to focusing on it. 'practice makes perfect' kinda rubs me the wrong way because of how much i've seen it interpreted as 'just draw everyday and you'll magically improve' but genuinely it won't get you very far if you don't actively think hard about what you're trying to improve and take the steps to do it. is this a hot take idk. also hand in hand with this, not every artist is trying to improve and you shouldn't feel bad for this! maybe you just wanna make a little headshot doodle of your fave blorbo and that's your only drawing goal ever. awesome. maybe you know your art has flaws but it's passable enough to convey what you want and you're perfectly satisfied with that. (this is the stage i'm usually at). also awesome!

don't hesitate to draw something because you think it's out of your skill level. the worst that can happen if you draw it is that it comes out terribly but you learned something and can always redraw it better in the future. the worst that WILL happen if you don't draw it is that you'll never draw it. and then it will sit in the back of your brain haunting you for years. it's not like i'm speaking from experience or anything aha

look up 'hand stretches for artists' and do them if you draw a lot unless you wish to summon the wrath of the carpal tunnel demons

of course, these may not necessarily work for you, and most importantly(!) these are coming from the perspective of someone who is primarily a hobbyist. some of this won't be practical for people who need to build an audience, maintain a consistent style for work, etc. these are just things that have personally helped me over many years of drawing :)

[ukulelegodparent]

It's so weird growing up how fast you get disinterested in eating sweet food. Like I've gone from 'I can eat a bag of Gummi Bears and drink a liter of coke and have a big bar of chocolate in one evening' to 'i'll have sweet things sometimes but I get so sick of like eg Gummi Bears so quickly. A handful is really on the verge of too much sometimes' in so little time.

[qqueenofhades]

Hello, qqueenofhades!

I just want to say, that ever since I discovered you in the week following Biden stepping down, you've actually made me not dread talking about politics. I look forward to your thoughts on what's going on, and I want to thank you for that.

I would love to know: What do you think of the apparent exhaustion from Republicans/MAGA about Trump? People leaving his rallies (and that's not even covering how few are even coming at all or his supposedly needing to pay people to come), and the slew of formers we see at the DNC openly talking about their change in sides. Do you have any ideas about what might be causing this shift? Was it Harris? Was it Jan. 6th? Was it one singular reason, or multiple at once?

Hope you're having a good day.

I think it's a lot of reasons. First, as I said earlier, the whole theme of the DNC is about reclaiming the USA FREEDOM message from the Republicans, who have had a monopoly on it for the past three decades at least and used it to justify even more antidemocratic fascist militant theocratic hard-right turns. The scenes of joyful people talking rousingly about hope, compassion, morning in America, and breaking out into regular USA! USA! chants appeals a lot to the average American, who doesn't want to hear constant violent and negative bile from the Orange Felonious Traitor, because that is literally the only thing he has to offer and it's getting openly more deranged and dangerous every day. The whole Tough Talking Populist Outsider shtick worked in 2016, when Trump didn't have four years of incompetent chaos as the actual president and was just a theoretical concept who a lot of people thought would "smarten up" and take it seriously if he actually won. Likewise, the backlash of white grievance against Obama and the complacency that Trump didn't actually stand a chance was able to be leveraged against the decades of smears that the GOP had already leveled on HRC. Of course, Trump lost the popular vote by 3 million-plus, but the Electoral College did what it's designed to do and he snuck in anyway. But it wasn't a rousing landslide or a thumping victory.

As such, a lot of Reagan Republicans are now turning to the Democrats as the actual pro-USA party, because Trump trash-talks America, calls it a shithole third-world country, bellows about WWIII and the Great Depression, cozies up to foreign dictators, etc etc. Reagan also pitched the sunny message of America as the shining moral hero of the world (he in fact used the Make America Great Again slogan that Trump repurposed), and that likewise resonated with people after the chaos and unrest of the 1970s. Now, we all know that I hate Reagan's ass and I hope he's burning in hell for so many reasons, but his message was effective because it gave people a soaring rhetorical vision to believe in (even while he was often stripping away their economic prosperity in particular behind the scenes, all together now, FUCK REAGAN). But the Republicans who joined the 1980s party are now seeing Republicanism become a tawdry cult centered on, as Geoff Duncan (GOP former Lt. Gov. of Georgia) put it yesterday, the worship of a felonious thug. Trump is wildly anti-America; he only uses it as a vehicle to get what he wants, because Donald Trump is all that Donald Trump cares about. Yes, there are still plenty of brainwashed cultists in numbers great enough to make this election far, far closer than it should ever be in any sane universe, but increasingly even his own cultists don't want to hear it anymore. They keep leaving before the event is over and he's drawing far smaller crowd sizes than in 2016, which as we know is pretty much all he cares about. He has a desperate need for attention and approval to feed his damaged narcissistic-sociopath dementia-riddled brain, and he's just not getting it, while the very real prospect looms that if he loses this election (and it looks more and more like he will) he will go to jail for the rest of his life. Terrifying.

That's why we have the unprecedented spectacle of lifelong Republicans and former Trump voters flocking to Harris in large numbers. We've had Republican speakers at the DNC every night, and they keep playing video montages of former Trump voters disavowing him or explaining that they won't vote for him. If you consider what propelled Trump in 2016 -- conservative white grievance against a black guy named Barack Obama -- the willingness to unhesitatingly embrace a black/mixed-race WOMAN named Kamala Harris is incredible. Many of them were already planning to vote for Biden before he dropped out, but it was no certain thing that they would move from being willing to vote for an establishment old white guy to also being willing to vote for a woman and a person of color. The fact that we've had so many high-profile affinity group Zoom events for Harris, including from truly unbelievable quarters (Republicans for Harris, Mormons for Harris, EVANGELICAL CHRISTIANS for Harris), shows that there is a country-wide exhaustion with Trump's poisonous selfish grievance performances, where he's willing to do anything to anyone and turn the USA into a fascist dictatorship if it will exempt him, personally, from the consequences of his odious actions. That is not a message that any sane person can support, and more and more, they don't. As I have said before, that is why fascist movements always sow the seeds of their own destruction. They work for a while, but eventually they're boring, they're mean, they're exhausting, and they offer nothing for anyone but being angry all the time at everyone. Most humans don't like that, and eventually, they drift away.

I also think that part of the reason Kamala absolutely nailed it with Tim Walz as VP is because Walz is the literal anti-MAGA in every way. We have seen a lot of similar straight white military-vet football-coach-type Middle America older men drift into MAGA grievance politics because it offers a home for guys like them and feeds on fear of the future and fear of the other. They feel like they're being heard and understood, even if they aren't, and they vote Republican because they've grown up with Republicans being the pro-America party (however defined). But because Walz is a straight white married military-vet football-coach guy who actually models a joyful and compassionate masculinity, an openly emotional and supportive masculinity, who talks movingly about his love for his wife and children, who is a hunter and gun owner who nonetheless loves kids more than guns, who has taken his small-town rural-America values and become an effective and genuinely progressive politician focused on making ordinary people's lives better, he offers a total antidote to MAGAism. He shows that it is possible to be a traditionally manly American straight white guy who is not a gibbering conspiracy theory-addled shitbag dedicated to trampling on everyone else out of reactionary fear. He shows those guys that they can embrace the diverse future and not have to fear it, and he gives them a permission structure to vote for Democrats because it's the right thing to do AND feel that the Democrats are now the real pro-America party.

Basically, right now, Walz is the most popular member on either ticket, and he's crushing Vance into oblivion (there's something like a 27-point difference in their favorable/unfavorable spreads) because Vance is a horrible robotic hateful gremlin and Walz is an authentic and genuine person who a lot of traditionally Republican-affiliated men (and women!) can identify with. He's also the guy who came up with the devastating "weird" attack line that the GOP can do nothing with except splutter and whine, like playground bullies, that no YOU'RE THE WEIRD ONE. He models that it's actually normal to want your leaders to be compassionate human beings who want to use power to make your lives better, and not hateful fascist alt-righters dedicated to making you also hate everyone and be steeped in doom and gloom. That is why people responded so well to Obama in 2008 after the turmoil of the Bush Jr. years, and why this feels even more monumental than Obama. We won't know until the votes are counted, but this giant tsunami just rose out of nowhere when Harris took over, and it's speeding forward in a really incredible way. We've got to do the work and we've got to vote, but if we do, we could absolutely pulverize Trump and MAGA to smithereens in a way that means it wouldn't be able to come back for a good long while, and oh, what a glorious day that would be. So yes.

[jupitermelichios]

Hey, we need to talk about the way Batfamily fans write Cass using ASL, because a lot of it is really fucking ableist

But Cass can't speak, of course she needs to sign!

Not true! There is nothing physically wrong with Cass's vocal chords or mouth, there's nothing in her brain stopping her from making sounds, and she is not an elective mute. She actually learns to speak individual words really quickly after she puts herself into an environment where that's a useful skill. Basil teaches her to quote huge chunks of Shakespeare in Nu52, and that's easier for her than forming simple sentences. That would definitely not be the case if she had any physical limitations on her speech.

Cass's disability is that she was not taught any language, and so she is having to grok the entire concept of language from the ground up. Grammar and syntax; tonality; how to combine words to convey more complex ideas; how putting two words next to one another can change their meaning; how to break down a whole idea into the individual parts needed to turn it into words; the fact that people's words might not line up with their tone and body language so you have to pay attention to both; how to tell if someone wants a response or is stating a fact; how to work out meaning from context if a word is new or someone has an unfamiliar accent; how to know if someone is using a new word or if they actually just have an unfamilar accent and all the ways words can be bent and changed before they become something new; the fact that two words can use the same sounds but have the same meaning; the fact that there can be two different words that mean the same thing. This is all stuff she didn't learn as a baby, and not knowing it would be just as much an impediment to learning ASL as learning English (for accent, swap out things like having limited movement in their hands, or having learned slightly different forms of the same sign, using a lot of home-signs etc, it's the same concept in a different medium).

There is no language on earth Cass wouldn't have these problems with. ASL is not any kind of shortcut.

But she reads body language, and ASL is kind of like body language right?

Not true, also pretty abelist! Just as the sounds which make up spoken language are essentially arbitrary (there's no objective reason why the sound "gud" should mean good, English speakers just all agree it does) so most of the signs in ASL are arbitrary! There's no reason for

to mean good. ASL users just all agree that it does. Cass knowing body language would not help her any more with ASL than it would with English, and if anything, it might make it harder, because sign uses the whole body and therefore changes the way people use body language so unless she saw a lot of ASL users as a child (and there's no particular reason to think she did), she would have to adjust what she knows about body language to account for those differences!

But she signs in the comics!

Nope! She uses hand gestures to communicate sometimes, but that's not signing. Pointing at food and miming eating to convey hunger is not sign. Pretending to punch someone and pulling it at the last second to convey you could hurt them but won't (Cass's actual first communication with Bruce in the comics) isn't signing. I've done the point and mime thing in countries where I didn't speak the language, that does not mean I knew that country's native sign language!

But she learns ballet, that's like a physical language, so sign is the same thing!

Nope! Also low key kinda abelist. Dance is a method of communication, but it isn't a full language. There's almost no grammar or sentence structure, the vocabulary is extremely limited, and also you can just make up new dance moves or use moves from different styles of dance together and still convey your meaning (you cannot just make random gestures or use BSL and expect ASL users to understand you, because they're full complex languages). Cass vibes with dance pretty hard, but that's precisely because it isn't a language, it doesn't require any of the skills she struggles with in order to communicate emotion.

But ASL isn't like a real language, it's not as complex or nuanced as spoken English so it would be easier for her to learn

That is so fucking gross I don't even want to have this conversation with you. Go and sit in the timeout box and think about what you've just said, and then commit to doing better.

But I just think that once she learned it, she'd like using ASL because [it's very expressive/she's used to her world being very quiet/she can use it on stealth missions more easily/etc]

Valid, understandable, have a lovely day

But I'm writing an AU were she uses ASL because her backstory is too comic-book-y to fit in no-capes AUs but I didn't want to erase her communication difficulties so I've written her as having a different disability

Cool. Send me a link when you're done.

But what if I write her using makatong?

(For context, makatong is a form of sign developed for people who have intellectual or phsyical disabilities that affect language use, which uses more descriptive signs which require less precise hand possitioning than other sign languages, and which has very simple grammar, making it easier to learn than ASL). Yes this would be easier for her, because it's intended for people with similar difficulties to hers, but since her difficulties stem purely from a lack of experience which can be (and are, in canon) overcome with practise, it would be kind of needlessly limiting compared to her just starting out with very simple spoken language, and wouldn't give her as many chances to develop those language learning skills. Makatong is also not mutually intelligable with any other sign language, so she couldn't easily transition from that to ASL once she got used to signing, she'd have to start learning it from scratch.

But I HC her as deaf

There is 0 comics evidence to support that, but it's a headcanon, so who cares. You do you. Have fun.

But learning sign language would be better than learning to speak anyway because it's a universal language!

That is not even slightly how it work. Go read the wikipedia article on sign languages around the world or something. Do some research.

TL:DR; Cass does not use ASL in the comics, and nothing about her disability or sign languages in general would make learning ASL easier or more convinent for her than spoken English. That does't mean writing her signing is inherently bad, but you should examine your reasons for doing it to ensure you're not just perpetuating ableist stereotypes about the language.

[justmeinadaze]

I was rereading your aftercare series and I thought about if reader and her bf had like really bad sex, maybe like in his car or something, and she doesn't even cum, and then he drops her off at home where Steve and Eddie help her get off and then take the best care of her 💙

Ok so I have a couple of requests in waiting I may use this version of them for. I think it will help focus my brain and since a lot of your requests are like this I think I can fit it into this AU and get them out faster :)

I hope you like!

Why Can't I Be in a Meg Ryan Movie? (Or Even a Good Porno)

Warnings: Actor Steve Harrington/ Rockstar & Actor Eddie Munson and Actress Fem Reader, SMUT, in the shower :), some heavy petting on set, dirty talk, reader and her boyfriend have sex and she does not have a good time (quick and brief), FLUFF, these three are filming a movie together and since they are supposed to be friends they BECAME friends behind the scenes, ANGST, reader is unhappily in a relationship, he's a dick sabotaging scenes and talking down to her, they are filming an 80s Slasher movie together so their are times those scenes are conveyed (mentions of death, blood, needing to feel safe, etc.) Those scenes are brief.

Word Count: 4897

The metalhead swings open his front door, gun drawn as you squeak and hide behind your gorgeous, captain of the football team best friend. 

“Whoa! It’s us, James, it’s us.”

“Jesus, Carter. What the fuck happened?!”, the long-hair boy asks as he gestures you two inside and locks the door. 

“Cindy’s fucking dead.”, the jock answered with a gruff tone as he guided you towards the sink and began washing the blood from your hands as you sobbed. 

“Shit. Nina, I’m so sorry.”

“I-I-It’s ok.”

The man’s palms grip your cheeks as he wipes your tears with his thumbs. 

“It’s not. We can make it through this. I know we can. We just need to figure out who this fucker is so we can kill him ourselves.”

“Agreed but we aren’t doing that tonight. James, is it alright if we stay here with you?”

“Dude, yeah, of course. Sweetheart, you can take the bed and we can—”

“No!”, you cry out. “Please…I don’t want to be alone.”

“Of course, there’s only one fucking bed.”

Everyone in the room groans as you frustratingly lay your forehead against the tattooed arm you had reached out to grab. 

“Cut! Ryan, we’ve talked about this. You can’t interrupt a scene.”

“Aren’t you shooting in the studio next door?”, Steve growled in annoyance as he threw the prosthetic bat he was holding on to the counter. 

“Maybe they got tired of him to.”, Eddie whispered loud enough that your boyfriend could hear. 

When you received the script from your agent to be in a typical 80’s slasher, you immediately turned him down for fear of being type cast like some of the other actresses you read about who starred in the genre but when he mentioned you’d be working with not only the massive heartthrob and brilliant actor Steve Harrington but also the rockstar of one of your favorite bands Corroded Coffin, you changed your tune. 

 When you told your boyfriend however he was less than amused. Honestly, you thought it was more his anger that you were getting a high paying job than who you were working with. Ryan’s own career was starting to stall as the ratings for his current show were in decline. You noticed he had begun taking that out on you in subtle ways like demeaning you at a party or, like right now, sabotaging a scene. 

“Fuck you, Munson. I’m a respected actor! You’ve been in what one other movie?”

“Well shit. He got me, Harrington. What the fuck would I know about being an actor? Please Ryan can you teach me how to get on your level? Teach me how to be an asshole just like you!”

“OK! Jesus.”, the director whined. “Can we reset and do this with no interruptions please?!”

Both men turn and you follow Steve to the other side of the door. 

“I’m so sorry, you guys. He’s not always like this.”

“Hm. You need to be careful with that one, honey. I know he’s your boyfriend and all but I don’t want him to ruin all the hard work you’ve done here.”

“Steve, this is a slasher film about a killer who wears a suit and clown mask killing high school seniors. It’s not Citizen Kane.”, you giggle making them smile. 

“Yeah but picture people dressing up like you like they do with Jamie Lee Curtis or that hot chick whose show was big when we were school. What was it, Steve?”

“I have no idea.”, he chuckles. 

“With the hair and the black dress that…” Eddie mimed pushing his chest together as if he had boobs making you laugh harder. 

“Elvira?”

“YEAH! Good job, princess. Thank you. Imagine people dressing like you in that sexy ass tank top and jeans that hug them hips.”

You grinned as you lightly punched his arm. Since Steve was playing your best friend, after you were cast you reached out to him and invited him to lunch hoping to get to know him better. When he told you Eddie was hisbest friend, you insisted he bring him along and over the last few months had gotten to know both men fairly well. You loved their attitudes and the way they made you laugh. You felt safe with them which in a media dominated by men you appreciated. 

***

“How was your date last night?”, you ask Steve while the three of were laying in the bed on set. 

You were a bit nervous because this was supposed to be your big kiss scene with him so you were trying to lighten the mood as much as possible. 

“Pfft terrible. She whined the entire time about my restaurant choice and was rude to the staff.”, he sighed as Eddie giggled behind you. 

“I tooooold you.”

“Yeah, yeah. Shut up, Munson.”

“See we never had that problem when we shared girls.”

“Whoa! Excuse me. You’re going to have to elaborate on that.”, you laughed with wide eyes. 

“Ok, first off, it did happen a few times which is why we aren’t currently in a relationship. Secondly… Eddie and I…may have shared a partner a time or two.”

“Wow. Do you two, um,…”

“No, we don’t ‘um’ but yeah we like the way a woman unfolds when we take care of her.”, the metalhead smiles making you blush a bit. “Have you ever tried it?”

“Oh, uh, no. I’m not really…adventurous like that I guess.”

“Captain asshole doesn’t blow your mind?”

Your smile widens as you punch his chest.

“Not…no. I don’t know. Ryan tries but lately he seems so distracted.”

“Hm. That’s a shame. Beautiful girl like you should have all the attention on her.” Steve throws a soft grin your way, deepening the pink around your cheeks. 

You’re suddenly very aware you are in a long heavy metal shirt with underwear and no pants while both men are in sweatpants with Steve shirtless. 

“Ok, gang, get comfy. We’re going to do some lighting tests real quick to make sure we’re still good and then we’ll start rolling.”

Nodding, you three get in your places that were discussed in rehearsal. As Eddie wraps his arm around your waist and you do the same across Steve’s tummy, you feel very thankful your boyfriend wasn’t there today. After lifting his arm, you rest your head on his chest as he casually starts playing with your hair. 

“I’m not fucking anything up am I?”, he asks in a deep, husky voice you weren’t prepared for. 

“Oh, uh, no I think…I think you’re fine.” 

“You can put your hand on my chest if you want.”

Blinking up at him, you do what he suggests and a sigh leaves his lips at the feeling. 

“Ok, we are good to go. Everyone is sleeping except you Carter. Nina wakes up, you say your lines, kiss, and then you hear a noise that startles you.”

Your eyes shut as you nuzzle into him as he continues to move his fingers through your hair. 

“Alright, I need quiet on set and action!”

Your head stirs at the feeling of fingers caressing you as your eyes flutter open.

“Carter?”

“Yeah, hey, I’m right here.”

“Have you gotten any sleep?”

“No but I’m ok. James is past the fuck out though.” You both laugh as you glance behind you towards the sleeping metalhead. “He rolled over a while ago and wrapped his arms around you. I guess he thinks you’re a teddy bear or something. You ARE very comfy.”, he grins as he looks down at you. “I’m a little jealous.”

“James IS very pretty.”

His smile grows as he kisses your forehead. 

“Naw, honey. I mean he is very beautiful but…not as beautiful as you.”

Your eyes scan his as you both slowly tilt forward. When his lips land on yours, your body lights up as your palm lightly grips his cheek. His kisses come a bit more passionately as his own hand grips the back of your neck. As his tongue slides into your mouth, you groan as your mind is suddenly clouded with fuzzy feelings of your best friend. 

Is it just you or can you feel your other friend pressing himself against you. Isn’t he asleep? Maybe I could turn and—

“CUT! Guys! Listen!”, the director yells. “I said cut like five times! Y/N, Steve, remember in rehearsal we said it was a soft, delicate kiss.”

“Sorry.”, the actor whispers before turning towards you. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok.” You glance towards Eddie whose eyes are squeezed shut still but he’s murmuring things to himself. 

“Cold showers, cold showers, Wayne naked, fucking Jeff puking after too many booze…”

“Are you alright?”, you ask.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m, um, I’m ok. I’m sorry if you, um, we can…I’m sure the intimacy lady can put like a pillow or something…”, he suggests as his gaze shifts between his legs under the blanket. “Y/N, I don’t think you’re supposed to moan when you kiss him.”

“Huh?”

“You moaned when you were kissing me.”, Steve answered breathily as he continued staring into the void with wide eyes. 

“That’s why I’m…I have a… you have really sexy moans, sweetheart.”

“And you taste really fucking good.”

Your eyes lock with Steve’s at his comment as a heavy exhale escaped your lungs. 

“Alright, gang, reset!”

Laying back in your original positions, you realize Eddie’s is a bit farther from you than he was before. Biting your bottom lip, you turn your head as much as you can towards him. 

“Ed, you can…you can scoot closer.”

“Y/N, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“I’m not.” To emphasis your point, you push your lower half into his and a subtle groan leaves his throat. Holding your hips, he grinds against you making your eye lids droop as your rub your thighs together and lift your leg over the other man’s waist, just grazing the growing bulge in the sweats they had them in. 

“Ok! We’re ready to go. Take two and we’re rolling…action!”

You ARE very comfy.”, he grins as he looks down at you. “I’m a little jealous.”

“James IS very pretty.”

His smile grows as he kisses your forehead. 

“Naw, honey. I mean he is very beautiful but not as beautiful as you.”

The boy’s lips feverishly crash to yours as he twists his torso to give himself better access to your

 mouth. 

“Carter.”, you moan.

“Y/N.”, he answers in your ear that’s furthest from the mic.

Your eyes shoot open as you realize what’s happening and no one is in character anymore. Pushing at his chest, he sees the slight regret in your eyes as he tries to regain his composure. 

“I think I heard something.”, you point absently off camera. Throwing off the blanket, he grabs his weapon before you quickly grab his arm. “Be careful…please. I-I-I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

His eyes soften as he leans in and give you a small peck on the lips. 

“Don’t worry, honey. I’ll be ok. I promise.”

############

“Geez.”, Ryan laughed as you tore at his pants in the back seat of his car. “What’s got you all hot and bothered?”

“I just…missed you.”

Your boyfriend’s grin grows as he takes hold of your lower back and flips you around till he’s on top of you yanking down your pants. As he kisses your neck and rubs his cock along the cotton blocking your core, your mind begins to wonder. 

Steve’s lips tasted amazing. I wonder what Eddie tastes like. Feeling them groan in my ear…fucking hell…

As Ryan’s length entered your sex, you suddenly felt underwhelmed.

They both felt so big even through their pants. I wonder what they would feel like inside of me…together…moaning like they had…

“Fuck, babe.” His body shook as he thrust his seed inside of you a bit too aggressively as you laid there unsatisfied. “God that was… did you…?”

Nodding your head, he beamed down at you as he kissed your forehead before reaching for a napkin on the floor of his car. When he handed it to you, you held it without moving as a disgusted look painted your face. 

“I have to get back to work.  You should go home and take a shower. You smell like sweat and that asshole rocker’s cigarettes.”

With that, he exited his vehicle and walked back inside. 

Shaking your head, you ambled over to your own car and reached into your glove compartment for some of the tissues you stored there. You sat in the driver’s seat for a while staring off into space feeling slightly dirty and used. 

You may have initiated the contact but lately Ryan hadn’t been satisfying you and the way he was after didn’t make you feel any better. 

Abruptly, you slammed your door and started the engine, driving off into what you thought was no particular direction. 

#############

“Hi, um, I’m sorry. I must be at the wrong—”

“Are you looking for Steven?”, the girl interrupted sassily. “Yeah you’re in the right place but don’t expect anything from either of these assholes.”

“Carol, why are you answering my door? I told you, please, get out.”

Steve’s eyes met yours as fear flashed through them. 

“All yours, babe.”

As she stomped past you, the boy took her place in the doorway of the apartment. 

“I’m sorry. I should just go.”

“No! Wait, no!”, he yelled panicked as he reached for your arm. “Please, come in. She was just…that’s the girl I had my date with who was rude, remember? She came over because…I didn’t call her? I don’t know.”, he shrugs. 

Stepping into their shared space, you were surprised by how modest it was. With how much money they made together, you would have expected them in a penthouse or a mansion. 

“Is the pterodactyl gone?”, Eddie asks as he exits his room pausing when he sees you. “Shit. Hey, Y/N. Are you alright? You look frazzled.”

“Why pterodactyl?”, you ask with a small smirk as you feel both their eyes intensely scanning you over. 

“She, uh, came in here like a bat out of hell screeching. Raaaaaaaw!”, he mimics as he spreads his arms like wings, smiling when you laugh. “See? I’m an actor.”

“What’s going on, honey? I thought you were spending some time with Ryan.”, Steve inquires as he leans over the back of their couch. 

“I was! I did… we, um, spent some time together… in his backseat…”

“And then he just sent you home?”

“Yeah, well, not right away. First he came in like 3 seconds and I learned that my boyfriend who I’ve been sleeping with for 4 months has no idea what a woman orgasming feels like because he asked me if I did and when I told him yes he got super excited. Then he proceeded to hand me a dirty napkin from his floor to clean myself with and then promptly told me I should go home and shower because I smell gross like sweat and your cigarettes Eddie.”

“Honestly, I’m surprised he even fucking noticed because I was barely even present during the whole experience because I was too busy imagining you two and what you would feel like inside me! Now I feel like a whore, used, and disgusting and I didn’t know where else to go so I just started driving and somehow ended up here and—”

Steve pulling you into his arms and pressing your face into his chest cut you off as you cried.

“Hey, Munson, is your shower actually clean?”

“I’m always on tour, Harrington, so what do you think?”

“No then?” Both boys smile when you giggle against him. “That’s ok. We can use mine. Come on, pretty girl.”

Eddie trails after you both as Steve guides you into his room and towards the bathroom. Opening the door to his standing shower, you marvel at how big it actually is. 

“Wow. This is very nice.”

“Thank you.”, he smiles as he sticks his palm under the water to make sure it its warm. As the steam starts to rise, he gestures inside. “All for you, honey.”

“Just me?”, you whisper as your gaze shifts between them. 

“What would make you comfortable, Y/N?”, Eddie asks as he steps closer to your side. 

Swallowing nervously, you close your eyes as you lift off your shirt and toss it to the side before unbuttoning your jeans to do the same. 

A tap on your shoulder causes you to open them again meeting the metalhead’s chocolate irises as he tries not to glance down your body. 

“You have to say it, sweetheart. If you don’t want this or anything at all that’s absolutely fine. If you want us to even just sit out here while you’re in there or just to stand in there with you…”

“Or if you want us to do some of those things you were imagining us doing when you were with Ryan…you have to say it.”, Steve adds.

Nodding silently, you remove your bra and slide down your panties, their gazes never leaving your face. 

“I want you two to shower with me and take care of me.”

Softly smiling, the remove their clothes and you provide them the same courtesy they did you, keeping your eyes forward. After guiding you in first, they follow behind and you let out a deep sigh as the water hits your hair. 

“You’re so beautiful, Y/N. I know I’ve always jokingly flirted with you but I do think you are gorgeous.”, Eddie admits making you smile as you wrap your arms around his neck.

“Can I kiss you?”

As soon as you get permission your lips connect to his, reveling in the taste of cigarettes that Ryan seemed to have so much disdain for mixed with mint and a hint of alcohol. While his fingers tangled in your hair to pull you closer, Steve’s hands behind you roamed everywhere, down your arms, along your stomach, and up to your breasts. 

The metalhead tenderly kissed your jawline, trailing the valley of your chest. Almost as if offering him a taste, the boy behind you cupped the bottom of you breast as Eddie wrapped his lips around the bud eliciting a soft moan from you. 

“Eddie.”

“Does that feel good, honey?”, Steve murmured in your ear as you leaned your head against his shoulder. 

“Yes. S-So good.”

Descending to his knees, Eddie turned you to face the other man, opening your legs a bit wider and you mewled when his long tongue flicked your entrance. 

“How do you feel now, Y/N?”

“Fuck.” Your response makes Steve chuckle as he grabs your cheeks and brings your lips to his. “Can I…touch you…please…”, you ask between each kiss. 

“Baby, you can touch us as much as you want as long as you’re comfortable.”

As soon as your small hand takes hold of his cock he groans as his forehead falls on yours, panting against your mouth as you stroke him. 

“Shit. We’ve been thinking about you all afternoon. How you would feel and what you would sound like.”

Your head leans against his chest as Eddie’s tongue moves faster inside of you. Abruptly your knees buckle but the metalhead is faster than his friend as he catches you and leans your back against his chest. Looping his arm around your front, he thrusts his two of his fingers into your cunt while you cling to his wrist. 

“That good, baby girl? Good, you deserve it. You’re not a whore, sweetheart, and you’re definitely not disgusting. Cum for me, Y/N.” Turning your head, you passionately kiss him as you come undone. “Fuck, your pussy is so tight when you cum. Are you kidding me?”

“M-More. I want more. Please.”

Steve lifts you up just enough to place your back on the tile as he climbs on top of you and you promptly circle your legs around his waist. 

“This ok? The tile isn’t cold, right?” Shaking your head, you lean up to kiss him, grinding your lower half against his desperately. “Are you… on—fuck—can I cum inside you?”

“Please.”

He licks his lips at the word as his cock twitches against you. Reaching between your bodies, he grips his base and as you tilt up to look you moan at how big he seems even in his own large hand. 

“Go slow at first. I’ve…I’ve never had someone as big as you two.”

“Shit, honey, you can’t say stuff like that.”, Steve breathily laughs as his head hangs, his damp hair tickling your face a bit. “Okay…okay, I can do that.”

Feeling extra warmth by your side, you turn to see Eddie laying on his side as he flashes you a soft smile. Biting his own lip, he watches as your face contorts and your back arches as the boy on top of you starts pushing into your core. 

“It’s ok, princess. You’re ok.”

Steve’s head fell next to your opposite side and your pussy couldn’t help but clench at the sound of his whimpers in your ear. His hand suddenly smacks the floor beside you as his arm bent at the elbow. The action startled you but made his friend laugh. 

“That hard, Harrington?” Your eyes meet his in confusion as he beamed down at you. “He’s trying to control himself from not just pounding into you. Your little pussy is driving him crazy.”

This confused you even more since every man you had been with never had the reaction Steve was having now. Even Ryan made it seem like you and your body were nothing special. 

“Hey, hey come back, Y/N.”, Eddie cooed as he caressed your cheek with his finger. 

That caused Steve to push up on his arms to look down at your face. 

“Are you ok? I’m not h-hurting you or anything right?”

“No, you’re not. No one…no one has ever…made me feel like…BEING with me is anything special.”

They knew what you meant and it broke their hearts as the man inside you kissed your forehead before placing his head back where it had been by your ear. 

“I’m sorry, baby. You deserve so much better then that. Your pussy should be worshipped. Fuck me. I swear, Y/N, I’ve never had anyone as tight as you. I could fucking live inside you. God… I knew it when you kissed me. You’re definitely fucking special.”

When he was fully sheathed inside you, your hands clung to his shoulders while he waited patiently for you to tell him he could move. 

Your hips tested the waters as you rolled them upwards making you both moan as your eyes rolled back. 

“P-Please, Steve.” Tilting up a bit, he placed his nose against yours as he slowly thrust into your body. “Fuck, I can feel you in my stomach.”

His mouth fell open as his pants warmed your face even more than the shower steam around you. As your nails scratched down his back, his pace quickened, hitting that spongy spot inside of you repeatedly as you whimpered at the feeling. 

“Steve. Harder, baby.”

Pushing up onto his knees, the man gripped your thighs for leverage as he honored your request. 

“Like that, Y/N? Is he about to make you cum?”, Eddie murmured in your ear as his palm held your face.  “Cum, Y/N. Let him feel what I did. Trust us, sweetheart, we know exactly what a beautiful woman coming feels like.”

Arching your back high off the tile beneath you, your vision was blinded by white as you came.

“Jesus.”, Steve growled through gritted teeth as he chased his own release.

Your lips mingled with Eddie’s as the other man leaned forward to massage your tits in his large palms before hearing him grunt above you as pumped his spend into your cunt. 

After carefully pulling out of you, both men trailed kisses to your neck, tenderly sucking and nibbling at your sweet spots as your body continued to tingle with need. 

“Eddie…please…”

“You don’t have to take me tonight, princess. Tonight is about you.”

“I want you.”

“Fuck me. Say that again.”

“I want you, Eddie. I need you.”

Once Steve was out of the way, the metalhead guided you around until your back was to his chest again with you both laying on your sides. On impulse, you lifted your leg and without missing a beat, he held it in place with his palm firmly gripping your thigh. 

Grinding his hips, his cock ran along your pussy lips as you moaned. 

“I’ll go slow too at first, ok?”

After you nod, he releases his hold on you only long enough to maneuver his length into your heat. 

“Oh my god.”, you whine as your head falls into the nook of his other arm. 

“I know. I know, baby. You’re—mmm—you’re doing so well. Tight little pussy is stretching out perfectly for me. Fuck.”

“Fuck me, Eddie. I-I can take it.”

Smiling, his fingers grabbed your jaw, turning you to face him so his forehead could lean on yours. 

“You can take it? Are you sure?” As if to test you, he slammed his waist hard into yours hitting your now overly sensitive and abused g-spot making you whimper against his lips. 

“Yeeees, baby, just like that.”

“You want it hard like that, sweetheart? Fuck, you are so fucking beautiful like this.”

While Steve did talk a bit while he was inside you, Eddie couldn’t seem to stop, whispering praises and compliments against your skin as he thrust into you. You definitely didn’t mind, wishing you could focus on anything but the pleasure to do the same. 

“Stay with me, pretty girl. I need to feel you cum again and squeeze my dick.”

“Eddie…I…feels…good…”

Grinning again, he tenderly kissed your lips. 

“Are you trying t-to praise me? Aw, poor baby can’t focus on words?” When you whined and nodded, his smiled grew. “Good. It’s ok, Y/N. Just focus on my cock right now. I want you to cum for me.”

Picking up his pace, you circle your arm behind you around his neck clinging to his hair till you felt your body tremble as the coil in your stomach snapped. 

“God damnit! Atta girl. Feels so fucking good.”

While your pussy quivered around him, he pumped into you till you felt him warm your insides as you milked him dry. 

After pulling out, the three of you laid on the floor of the shower on your back trying to catch your breathes. 

“I can’t tell if I’m steamy or sweaty.”

You smirked as they both laughed at your statement. 

“Either way, you smell good. Hang on.” Closing your eyes, you listened to Steve move around before jumping when you feel a washcloth between your legs. “Sorry! Sorry. I should have warned you. I’m just cleaning you.”

“I hope its ok it’s not a dirty napkin.”, Eddie sassed making you giggle as you reach over to lightly punch his arm. “You deserve better than him, Y/N.”

“You really ARE special. I hope you know that.”, Steve added. “And not just your body.”

You don’t say anything as they turn off the water and lead you back to the bedroom to dry you.

“Do you want your clothes or I can give you one of my shirts. According to Ryan, your stuff smells like smoke so I don’t see what difference a new shirt would make.”

“Oh. Um…I can just…wear my clothes…”, you pout as you hang your head. 

As your about to turn to take the garments from Eddie’s hands, the other boy grabs your wrist as he takes a seat on his bed. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“No, hey, no. Not nothing. What’s running through your mind?”

Unlike with your boyfriend, when your eyes shift between theirs you don’t see annoyance but empathy. They genuinely want to make sure you’re alright. 

“Do you want me to go?”

You question surprises them as they exchange a glance. 

“No. God no.”, the metalhead answers as he sits on the bed as well. “Y/N, we just don’t want you to feel uncomfortable. If you want to go you’re more than welcome but we’d rather you stay.”

“We don’t want you to feel how you felt when you came in here.”, Steve adds. 

“I don’t feel like that. I wouldn’t feel like that if I left right now either.” They softly smile your way as they nod. “I don’t want to leave though. Not yet.”

“Aaaaare you hungry? We were going to order some food before Harrington’s ex-girlfriend flew in wreaking havoc.”

“Oh my god. Ok, we went on ONE date! One!”

“Can we get food from the restaurant you took her to. I really want to see if your restaurant choices do suck.”, you giggle as he rolls his eyes. 

“I hate you both.”, Steve teases as he gets up and heads for the phone.

Eddie helps you into one of his shirts and his friend’s shorts he found nearby. 

“Comfy? Good. See, princess, you’re adventurous.”, he winks as he grabs your palm in his before looking down at how they fit together. “Did you like it? Being with two people?”

With your free hand, you tilt his chin and kiss his lips. 

“I liked being with you two.”

Steddie Asks

[ptolemaeacles]

♡ being hazel callahan’s cheerleader gf hcs

pairing: hazel callahan x cheerleader!reader

synopsis: what it’s like dating hazel (post huntington fight)

notes: unofficial part two to this !! if you guys have anything to add, feel free to hop into my inbox or comment, i love interacting with you guys !!

word count: 1k

after the huntington fight, she finally took you out on a date. she completely wracked her brain for days trying to find the best place to take you.

most likely, asked josie where she would take isabel since the four of you seemed to be parallels of each other (nerdy, loser lesbian and her super hot, preppy gf)

going back to the first date though, i would imagine she took you to an arcade or maybe a diner (like josie and isabel were at). and of course she shyly asked you if that’s what you wanted.

hazel and you were sat in your english, making usual conversation since the both of you had finished your work. hazel realized it was probably a good time to ask you about that date.

“so i wanted to ask you, um, about the date. i know it’s been a few days and i’ve been planning it but what do you think about the diner? you know, after school, you can pick the day if you’d like, or if you changed your mind, we can just not go at all, it depends on you-”

“haze,” you stopped her with a soft smile and putting your hand on top of hers, “i’d love to go to a diner. that’s perfect. and tomorrow is good with me if it’s good with you!”

hazel sheepishly smiled back at you.

“yeah, it’s good with me.” she murmured.

after the third or fourth date, she wanted to pop the “will you be my girlfriend” speech badly. she wanted it to be romantic but not cheesy, heartfelt but not corny, cute but not cliche. god she was over thinking this like a motherfucker.

and to her surprise, you popped the question before her.

hazel was lounging on the loveseat in the corner of your room while you were sitting cross legged on your bed. the both of you had decided to study at your house after school. (not much studying was done so far. often getting distracted by making out with each other. so much so, the two of you had realized that nearly an hour had passed which resulted in hazel moving to the loveseat so the two of you could get some actual studying done.)

“so did you divide both sides by 6 or by 4? i don’t get that part.” hazel lifted her gaze from her notebook to you, who was already looking at her.

you decided to just blurt it out.

“haze,” she hummed in response, “do you want to be my girlfriend?”

hazel felt her mouth go dry. she really did want to be the one to ask you but it was so much hotter that you asked her.

“yeah, uh, yes, fuck, i’d love to.” she exclaimed.

now onto the actual BEING hazel’s gf (i love to over explain things, sorry)

hazel’s love language is definitely physical touch or gifting-giving. not super into pda but will put her arm around your shoulders or a hand on your lower back when you’re walking. if she’s feeling risqué, then an arm around your waist.

no matter how long you guys have been dating, she still gets nervous around you. doesn’t matter if you woke up with horrid morning breath, messy bed head, and/or a puffy face, she’d still look at you starstruck, as if you held the entire world in your palms. she’s a hopeless woman in love.

she does have a lot of money (probably one of those kids who refuses to say she’s rich, she calls herself “comfortable” …..) but she loves to make gifts for you. i can see her being into welding or wood workshop. (not sure if all schools have these types of classes, i’m american soooo)

100% makes wooden sculptures or welding a ring with the both of your initials on the inside. she made a wooden sculpture of the two of you holding hands (you nearly cried when she gave it to you)

very big music lover. listens to divorced dad rock. pearl jam, metallica, nirvana, etc. probably a minor swiftie (really obsessed with folklore and evermore but not a big fan of her other albums) definitely listens to boygenius (she listens to ‘leonard cohen’ and thinks of you). likes r&b/rap from time to time. (frank ocean, mac miller, a bit of tyler the creator.) oh and some 80s r&b like sade. her playlist is very diverse to say the least.

not really a gf headcanon but she’s definitely got some irregular allergies. strawberries, i would say. walnuts too.

PLAYS GUITAR. both acoustic and electric, she's interested in drums too and she tried learning how to play but it was too loud for her so she quit. writes songs for you but you would never get her to perform them or even show you in a million years.

LOVESSSSSS to nap and cuddle with you. a lot of the time, she invites you to her house under the guise of “studying”. you’ll be grabbing your backpack ready to pull out your english homework and she’s grabbing her blanket and asking you to just lay in her bed with her for “5 minutes”. you guys end up falling asleep (exactly like she planned) and wasted 2 hours. it was worth it.

“okay so i think we should start with our english homework because we need to brainstorm for the ess-“ you opened your bag, ready to study with your girlfriend.

“we can do that later, babe,” hazel grabbed your bag and set it on the ground, “aren’t you tired? i mean you walked all around campus, which is huge, might i add-“

“not really-“

“doesn’t matter. we should lay down and rest a bit so we can have clear minds, and we’ll be ready to study.” hazel had already kicked off her shoes and crawled into her bed, lifting her blanket and silently asking you to lay down with her.

“only a few minutes, okay, and then we have to get to work.” you breathily chuckeld, not impressed with your girlfriend’s antics.

hazel giggled and ushered you under her blanket, wrapping her arm tightly around your waist and tucking your head in the crook of her neck.

you knew what her plan was but she was too cute to say no to.

[librarycards]

pls ignore this is its too weird or too much labor, but i was wondering if you maybe had any tips or resources for ppl who have creative desires like writing but brain fog and fatigue tends to get in the way?

i do! it may not work for you bc people have very random/unexpected ways of dealing with this, but it's *very* common and there is hope :) [i think a lot of this is applicable across form, but i'm using "writing" here because it's what i'm familiar with]

one way is to be strategic about timing: this includes thinking about when you're least foggy/have the most energy, and/or the most "downtime" where there isn't anything in particular you need to do. many people wake up early so that they have alone time before their responsibilities. some people stay up late to write. i tend to do my daily writing (which I elucidate on below) in the evenings, around 7-10pm. whatever works, works!

relatedly: scheduling/routine is, for me, critical. i think it is for a lot of creative ppl. I write every day, in multiple ways: i keep a journal - i've done this since i was like 12, so it's as ingrained as brushing my teeth and i don't really think about it - and also work on some aspect of my current longest project [so, for the last 4 years, it's been the aforementioned second novel; for the 4ish years before that, it was Failure to Comply. i write other stuff during the daytime, of course, because writing is also my job(s). but if you're looking to establish a consistent creative practice, you don't need to be aiming for a certain hour or word count.

Instead: Aim for consistency and progress. Not perfection, not a "muse," not magic. There is no shame in making something that doesn't seem good, or that you end up deleting. in this particular instance, "perfect is the enemy of good" is 10000% true, and i think especially applicable to people who already experience external + internalized ableist ideologies on a daily basis. your art, regardless of what it is, should be a space where you get to make mistakes, change your mind, and learn new things. it should be something you can come to when you're tired, unsure, confused, scared, etc, even if it means just keysmashing and then closing your notes app for the day.

for me, having a daily practice, regardless of anything, means embracing the days where i write only one word and then despair, as well as the days i write pages. when i feel most depressed, in a very clinicized sense, i try to move from "everything i make now is going to be shitty :(" to "everything i make now is going to be shitty :)", not because i'm happy about it, but because....that's simply part of creating. everything is a bodily function. if you're not feeling good, maybe your poop will look weird. so too with writing. but you still do it. it can be mechanical. but it'll happen, and by doing it consistently, you give yourself the *opportunity* to locate insight hitherto buried, to have an idea creep up on your tiredself.

i guess in sum I'd say that the healthiest thing i ever did for my writing is something tantamount to body neutrality, which has also been an immensely positive addition to my set of frameworks for physical embodimindment. creative neutrality, i guess. this doesn't mean i don't tie my ego and personhood to work/productivity/quality. i mean, i totally do, and it sucks, but there we are. but it also means that i place that in a corner that does not touch my desire to chip away at something big, regularly. i make time every day to summon the urgency of whatever i'm working on, not because i'm proud of it at that moment, but because i want to give it another opportunity to give me something cool.

tl:dr: give yourself the gift of consistency and time, and don't be scared of making stuff that isn't good, or gets deleted, or doesn't make sense. write from wherever you want, physically, mentally, spiritually. give it the opportunity & even the expectation to happen and then work from there.

[kaeyx]

Y!chuuya breaking into y!readers home only to find multiple murder plans on his friends, the sheep, subordinates,…etc. and pictures of his body while he’s sleeping or changing

there is just everything he did but like worse and hes so into it

I HAVE BEEN OBSESSING OVER THIS ASK UGH WHAT DO I EVEN SAYYYYY

He'd break in to steal some of your clothes or household items, maybe even to set them up at his place to get it ready for when you move in. And when he's digging around in your wardrobe he finds a shoebox, so of course he opens it! Chuuya thinks it could be your sex toys, so naturally he wants to take a peek. But when he opens the box.... it's just a lot of papers. He rifles through them and finds a stack of pictures, mostly blurry or low quality, of himself. This is what makes him pause.

Chuuya looks through everything again, carefully, reading a few of the papers. Some are scraps with facts about him written down, there's a calendar tracking his business trips, missions, even when he likes to take a coffee break. It's like a diary of his life but from an outside perspective! By now Chuuya's heart is racing, this is all too familiar. He also has pictures of you. He has little marks on his calendar signifying important things you have to do. He even spots one of his own pens in the box, and thinks back to the one he took from you because you chewed the cap.

He's forgotten all about breaking in by now, if you happened to walk in on him he'd pin you to the floor and fuck your brains out. Chuuya doesn't know what to do with himself, this is a dramatic change in plans that he hadn't accounted for... but he's not exactly complaining. He picks up a neatly folded piece of paper, and discovers a love letter. There's more of them, all hand written and signed, at least one every week going back months. Chuuya whines low in his throat as he reads through a few, getting hard as he sees the things you write about, the things you want him to do to you. The way you've fantasized about kidnapping him or running away with him like he does. Chuuya wishes he could take the whole box with him, but he limits himself to pocketing only one of the letters. As well as a new of the dirty clothes he originally came here for, of course! He has lots of things to plan all of a sudden.

[fumifooms]

Laios Touden and autism; admiring the non-human

Do you think people exaggerate when they scream about Laios being autistic? Do you feel like it’s weird that so many people including autistics are so set on Laios, the problematic (but incredible and kind) king TM, being the most autistic that has ever autisticed? Why do we cheer on autistic people wanting to be monsters?? Isn’t that weird?

Well, of course it depends on the way it’s done, it can be done quite offensively, but long story short Kui blew it out of the park. The thing is, autistic people really do like monsters and animals and robots. Nonhuman does not mean subhuman, it just means Other. Feeling a connection with them has been shown to be an extremely common autistic experience for that very reason.

Because some people don’t understand why we autistic Tumblr Laios stans cheer “autism! Autism!” whenever he talks about monsters and feeling alienated to humans so! Here’s a post about how yes even research papers are analyzing the special connection we form with animals. I’m not even joking but Laios Touden & the mass cries of relatability with autistic people he gets and all the love for him could be used as study material and evidence for future papers because the link is that strong. Oh also I think it’s notable that being autistic and undiagnosed vs diagnosed makes a huge difference. In my experience as someone who was undiagnosed up until 18, it’s even more alienating to not know that there’s a reason why you’re different, being gaslit that you’re ‘normal’ and you just need to try harder and get with the program, etc. Personally when getting diagnosed I went through the 5 stages of grief because the thought of having been fundamentally different all your life (a difference which you will never be able to change) and mistreated for it when you weren’t “wrong” all along makes you unload all the anger and sadness and loneliness and sheer trauma you’ve built up over time. Like it’s world shattering.

So! Back to seeing dogs as family. Also I implore you to value experiential evidence when it comes to autism and other neurodivergences because brains are complicated and neurotypicals not being able to understand us well even with scientific research is like, a whole thing even though we’re right there speaking about how we feel and being right every time because the topic is literally us and how we experience the world. 

Disclaimer for this whole post that, of course, no group is a monolith and everyone has different experiences or can diverge from the norm of the group, and that doesn’t diminish the validity of either side! Like, I know autistic people who have trauma with dogs and hate them. But, trends do happen, and in this case... Autism is very “My experiences with humans make me feel dehumanized in a bad and lonely way so instead I’ll dehumanize myself in a good and inspiring way”.

“I was treated like a failed human my entire life and you’re surprised that my response was to become a dog.” -Patricia Taxxon

It’s literally well recorded that autistic people relate to animals more than humans globally. With this post, besides spreading autistic Laios truthism and explaining why the portrayal hits so deep for so many,  I want to show in what way this is a very specific experience and not looking at his character through an autistic lense really misses a lot of why he’s everything that he is. (Tacking allegedly onto here for legal reasons, different interpretations are valid etc etc /gen). This honestly isn’t super long though.

To define an important term, anthropomorphism in the studies and in this post means to attribute human traits to the nonhuman, which not only includes anthro furry designs but also animals irl, inanimate objects, and animated media as opposed to live action, to humanize them and empathize with them.

Paper: https://www.liebertpub.com/doi/10.1089/aut.2019.0027 

“Dogs taught me how to hunt and socialize and work in groups”, Laios having internalized body language... So real so real. I, too, make a great dog impression. And I want to emphase the part that it helps greatly develop a sense of emotions and relationships! For Laios, he didn’t get along with kids his age, it was him, Falin and the dogs against the world. Since it’s a group of dogs too, it taught him group dynamics and social hierarchies (like with Falin being considered as being below the dogs in authority according to the dogs rip), and the importance of group coordination when hunting.

For me, I cannot like, concisely explain just how much animals were important to me developmentally. I also grew up with dogs, but like I vividly remember encounters with like hamsters as well just radically shaping my understanding of boundaries, the importance of giving something space and the way you interact with them and respect their side of it. Unlike humans they don’t really mask how they feel, it’s direct cause-effect reaction and data gathering. There are no words involved, so the focus on having a perfect phrasing and tone is gone, leaving just pure interactions. 

There’s also no reason to mask how you feel either, and you don’t have to feel silly over wanting to form a connection and it showing, what, is the dog gonna laugh at you because you obviously want to make friends with it? Toshiro or Kabru might, but dogs and cats will just tell you to fuck off and leave it there worst case scenario. I often say that I think one reason Marcille is special to Laios and he feels comfortable around her is because she emotes INTENSELY, she gestures, she puts her whole body into it, her facial expressions are pretty exaggerated and her ears even emote too- like with a dog’s ears!

I think there’s def also things to be said about how he gravitated towards Izutsumi at first, all excited, was eager to sleep in the same bed as her, but in the Izutsumi sleep rating chart we see they really just casual and chill so it’s not a Laios talking to Shuro deep into the night situation just a “I like sleeping besides animals” situation and that is enough to hype him up. I love how he pet her in the extra about why Chil let her sleep with him too. He’s just so transparently eager to befriend her, even if in the end they weren’t all that compatible and he accepted that.

There are honestly so many examples I could give for this. Like Grandin the famous cow lady.

More about autism & empathy:

https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/double-empathy-explained/ (Also mentions a study in which groups of autistic, allistic then a mixed group played a game of telephone and both singular groups had similar levels of information retention, but the mixed group was significantly worse. As an autistic person yeah duh, obviously autistic people are different from one another and can have plenty of interpersonal issues, but communicating with other neurodivergent people feels pretty intuitive and straightforward and comfortable. One of the reasons why neurodivergent people tend to naturally gravitate towards each other I suppose.) 

^ Paper: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5932358/  For good, extensive summary of why we relate to animals so much you can go to the “anthromorphizing and asd” section of the paper. This paper extends to our widespread liking of cartoons and robots as well. Ok so this is a whole thing I won’t get into here but this is a big reason why a lot of autistic people are agender leaning as well. Genders and queerness in general is a lot about social constructs, and being queer is being marginal to these, not fitting into boxes or challenging those social norms and conventions. Queerplatonic relationships are a great example of this, where the framework of the relationship is platonic but the intangible nature of what it is exactly is the point, not familial not anything but everything at once too, just adoration, I like to say having pets is a bit like it as well, bc obvi it’s not romantic and often not fully familial, very platonic but also sooo much cuddling and adoration and kissing and whatnot that you wouldn’t typically do with a friend or family member. I’ll talk about qpr and labels another day though.

I got carried away but queerness in Dunmeshi is something I 100% want to make a big post on one day. Experiencing the world with different guidelines and not registering things to have the same boxes, sigh. Personally I also relate to Laios on a gender level, “cis by default because I don’t care all that much but if I were to dig deeper I’m probably otherkin and I want to be socially associated with traits of monsters and animalistic rather than man/woman” sighh hard to be a cryptid in this day and age. I wish we had a term like furry but for monsters, I want to be in the fantasy or folk tale genre ty, like changelings. Goshh changelings... You know, the irl myth where people said their neurodivergent kids were fairies’ children instead of human. Diminished physical sense of self means I see myself as some unknowable black  void aesthetic wise, but like in a way that simultaneously makes me feel seen. Like becoming a monster, losing your sense of self but also somehow just being simplified and seen for what you are, it’s weird to try and explain. This post is more about relating to the nonhuman than about seeing yourself as such, but like connect the dots right, that IS an important point of Laios’ character. It’s because our brains literally work different than allistics which makes us feel as other, but also because of social ostracization and functioning in a different way than society at large, living in the margin of society, being weird and non-conforming.

Meanwhile, animals and social norms... Like ok, showing your neck and rolling on the ground to show that you’re friendly and harmless and play biting might not be proper. But have you considered that it’s also fun and feels very intuitive. Play with a dog in the dog’s way I promise it is so nice and freeing. Play tug of war and growl back when they growl. Hiss at your cat to tell them they do something wrong, engage with them on their level.

Autism made social life hard, but it made animals easy. Do you have anyyy idea how good it feels to mask all day every day and feel constantly misunderstood or like you’re doing a performance but then you can just, drop all of that in the company of animals and they understand you. They understand you. You form an understanding and rapport so easily.

And this whole thing with Laios is so explicit too, with the Winged Lion saying “You’re sick and tired of the human world”. Notice the choice of words. Sick and tired of the human world. Exhausted from the constraints, sick of the mind games. It really isn’t as much about loving monsters as it is about loving the nonhuman. Relating to them because you feel that you can actually understand how they work and think, and feeling like they could understand you back as well. Animals are safe.

Like I could go on about how Laios admiring even just demi-humans like orcs is because they’re socially seen as non-humans more than any true physical thing, that they’re not bound by human society and its rules and live with their own lifestyle. But it would deal myself 1000 points of psychic damage and I am not ready to cry today. It’s idealization 100%, and like, Laios DOES want to be treated as human, to be valued, but it feels like an unreachable thing meanwhile becoming a monster is instant gratification and freedom and a sense that now no one will be able to hurt you in a way that reaches you, never again shall you be defenseless, and then if people dehumanize you then that only strengthens your sense of identity as a monster and UGHH ugh ugh.

And like. This post is a mess at this point but if you want to kinda delve into the more “why” then I recommend this Patricia Taxxon video essay. It starts out on a very different topic, but it’s all about autism and finding comfort in the inhuman. Long story short is othering made us like this also animals are just simpler to intuitively get along with.

So when I post this

I mean it. I really mean it when I say he’s me. I have never felt so seen. So many conflicting emotions all wrapped so concisely yet so intangibly woven into the whole storyline so subtly. 

Not being depicted as a monster of an human being for feeling/having felt that way?? The manga understands you. The world can understand you. Other humans can understand you. You can bond with them. You can. And I think that’s a big part of Dungeon Meshi too- Laios opening up to others about how he really is and his interests, and all the bumps on the way but how it was the only way to truly get to know each other and bond. With the climax being Laios confronting head on his complex with monsters and humans, and his monster-loving side and animalistic side being exactly what saves the whole world, what saves humanity. Because Laios does value his friends, does think humanity has beautiful sides to it, he wants to help it thrive and eat and become more accepting, carving out a kingdom for misfits and demi-humans. At the end of it, transforming into a monster and being free is a daydream fantasy, and the reality of it is that Laios does belong in the world as he is, and does receive and give out love.

If you enjoyed this you’ll probably like some of my other Laios analysis!  Here’s an analysis of his succubus and what it says about his relationships with other humans. And here’s an analysis about his relationship with Shuro from his perspective.

[bratbby333]

the jjk men + ur birthday

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

blurb/brain dump

fluff version/sfw,, smutty version coming next

feat: gojo, geto, nanami, megumi, toji, yuuji

author notes: this idea 100% came abt bc my birthday’s in two weeks n i can’t help but gift this to myself

-gojo

Satoru is 1000% the type to over do it in the most endearing way possible. The celebration of you starts a week before your actual birthday. Stuffies, balloons, cupcakes, a lengthy, heartfelt card spilling his guts to you about how much you’ve changed his life. He’s even the type to book an expensive getaway for just the two of you after throwing you a surprise dinner party with all your friends.

“Your bags already packed. We leave for the airport in an hour” he says, brimming with joy.

He teases you about getting older, and you joyfully get to remind him that at least you’re still younger than him ((he pouts and huffs at this, of course)).

-geto

A deeply romantic man. Showering you in kind words and lingering touches of affection.

Suguru’s deeply intuitive and is most definitely the type of boyfriend to gather things you say you like throughout the year and secretly compile them in a basket to present to you on your birthday. He’s so sneaky with it that you have no idea it’s coming even though you two live together (where tf did he hide it??).

He’s so thoughtful and giving, it’s no surprise that he treats you extra special on your birthday. A bouquet of your favorite flowers, a reservation at your favorite restaurant, tickets to a movie you’ve been dying to see, walks in the park (stopping at your favorite café on the way there). He is just so deeply enamored by you and wants nothing more than to see your face light up when doing the things you love.

-nanami

Stoic and serious Nanami worships you each and every day. You opened his heart in ways he didn’t know existed, so he can’t help but reward you any chance he gets. You didn’t think he could ever out do himself, but each time your birthday comes around you are proven wrong.

Hefty bouquets of your favorite flowers adorn your kitchen, living room, and bedroom, different handwritten cards sitting against the various flower vases. For a man of such well thought out and analytically chosen words, he sure finds as many as he can to describe to you in detail how much you mean to him and how much he loves you.

He makes reservations at your favorite restaurant and takes you shopping to find an outfit for your dinner date, amongst other things-jewelry, bags, shoes, etc. He just absolutely spoils you.

-megumi

Even after a year of being together, Megumi still struggles to put his big feelings into the right words. He’d rather show you through acts of service than to say it directly to you. And you appreciate each and every thing he does for you.

The week leading up to your birthday, he takes over all the maintenance around the house; cooking for you every night, doing all the laundry, etc.

“I don’t want you to lift a finger leading up to your special day”

He takes you to get your hair done, your nails done, shopping…any sort of self care services that you want. He just loves being around you, even if a lot of the times, he may not be able to find the right words to say (you’re the only person he enjoys being around for extended periods of time) and he wants you to feel loved and pampered and beautiful on your birthday, even more so than you already are to him.

He cherishes the way you love him, and the man you’re turning him into, even if it scares him a little.

-toji

Violently nonchalant and seemingly uninterested in most people (I see where Meg gets it from), that part of Toji’s personality does a 180 when he’s around you.

Even though he hates being away from you, Toji takes on extra assignments in the weeks leading up to your birthday so he can make sure that he pampers you like there’s no tomorrow. You are not paying for a thing when he takes you out to celebrate your day.

And even though your celebration wasn’t as extravagant as it couldve been, you know the real party happens in the bedroom. Awoooga.

-yuuji

“Y/N!! Look what I got you!!” Yuuji grins wide.

“Happy birthday to the most amazing girlfriend ever!!” He beams, outstretched arms presenting you with three boxes in various sizes, wrapped neatly in birthday-esq wrapping paper (nobara must’ve helped with the wrap job).

Your eyes light up, giggling before looking at him.

“Yuuji, I appreciate and love you so very much. But, you do know my birthday is actually tomorrow, right?”

“Yes..duh! But I couldn’t wait. There’s more coming tomorrow, too!!” He replies, seemly more excited for your birthday than you are. Your heart melts at his never ending supply of enthusiasm.

He hugs you tightly and peppers your face with kisses.

The two of you spend the night before your birthday in the house, ordering food and binge watching movies until the sun comes up. And of course he has to be the first one to wish you an official happy birthday, right at midnight.

© bratbby333 on tumblr. all rights reserved. please do not distribute. 2024.

[eggy-tea]

the thing that is SO WILD to me watching usamericans on the internet talk about their upcoming elections is that this is one of those incredibly rare occasions where you are choosing between two guys who have ALREADY DONE THE JOB.

look, i’m canadian. we have a first past the post parliamentary system and i don’t even get to vote directly for the person who will lead the country because i don’t live in any of the leaders’ ridings. i don’t live in any of the big important cities or even the big important provinces. i know ALL ABOUT “it feels like my vote doesn’t matter.” and all the same, i’m incredibly worried that a lot of people will vote conservative because they don’t like trudeau (fair! he sucks!) and hey, who knows, poilievre might be better. let’s give him a chance. time for a change etc. etc. (and of course there are a bunch of people who want what he’s selling and that’s depressing as hell too but they’re not the swing voters who will make a difference here.) never mind that the dude seems very happy to cozy up to our own local fascists. we don’t know for a fact what he’ll be like as pm, because he hasn’t been pm yet, and we DO know what trudeau is like, and we don’t like him.

the argument for change because it might be good is very compelling to our little animal brains when the status quo is BAD. poilievre is even banking on this! he’s been keeping his promises and stances deliberately vague so people can fill in the blanks with whatever they hope will happen.

and what’s so absolutely mind-breakingly incomprehensible to me is that THIS IS NOT THE CASE IN THE US but so many americans KEEP TALKING LIKE IT IS. each of these dudes has already done the job. they are known quantities. and you (realistically) only get to choose between the two of them. the political machine is going to go through with all of the usual debates and campaigning and thinkpieces and op-eds and rallies and whatever else pageantry, but biden and trump have told you who they are. they’ve SHOWN you who they are. it’s not often you get such a clear-cut choice with so much solid information behind it. you either vote for one of them and live with your choice or you hide your head in the sand and pretend that if you don’t vote one of them won’t win. and then you live with your cowardice because when the time came to choose you couldn’t bear to look.

(which is guess is also why so much effort is going into convincing people to just fucking vote oh my god i get it if you can’t because so many people have been deliberately disenfranchised in the us but if you can and you just don’t so help me…)

[naughtyneganjdm]

Naughty or Nice - Chapter 5

Summary: The jealousy that Y/N has about finding out how Negan and Maggie's relationship started fuels her and she has a heart to heart with Negan that leads to a fiery interaction between the two of them.

Characters: Negan, the reader (OC), etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51464518/chapters/131751610

Warnings: 18+, Swearing, angst, lots of smut, daddy kink, etc.

Notes: This is a long chapter. Thank you for taking the time to read it. I'm sorry it took some time to get out! Things have been really busy over the last few days.

It was strange how certain things could change at different points in your life. When Y/N used to live in her family’s home as a teenager, she always hated having the bedroom that she did. It was on the side where the sun rose and it used to drive her crazy waking up to the sun blinding her every morning. But when her eyes finally fluttered to an open, she actually enjoyed the sight before her. The sun wasn’t completely up yet, but it was a beautiful sight seeing the sun rising slightly over the tree line of the woods in the distance. It’s shine was hidden somewhat by the morning clouds and she found comfort in the sight. This was the first time she had woken up at her family’s home in a very long time. It was both a strange and awkward feeling.

Truthfully? She really didn’t know how to feel about things. The last thing she remembered was Negan sneaking into her room to cuddle with her in bed. Once Negan entered her mind, she felt her heart skip a beat. Pushing up onto her palms, she turned her attention toward the bed where he was last night. A sense of sadness rushed through her veins when she saw that Negan wasn’t there. No one was. With a frown, she stretched her hand out and felt the bed. The sheets were cool beneath her fingertips and she wondered if she dreamt all of that. Everything about yesterday was stressful. The only thing she found comfort in lately was Negan, so maybe that was a way for her brain to relax.

Of course it had to be a dream. Why would Negan show up in the middle of the night to cuddle with her? Why would he want to hold her in his arms? There were so many people that could have walked in and caught them. Especially with Maggie not far from her room. The last thing Negan likely wanted to do was fall asleep in her bedroom. 

After having Maggie talk to her last night, she just assumed Negan was likely fresh on the mind. Talking with everyone made her realize that it was a dumb idea to come back here. A long time ago she knew that she didn’t belong here and in the small amount of time she had been back, it had been proven to her many times that she was right. Part of her still wondered why she came back here after everything her family put her through. Hershel made it clear he didn’t like her and he didn’t want her back. Maggie tried last night, but they were still off with one another. Even though Maggie meant well, there was always going to be tension between Maggie and Y/N. Maggie was Hershel’s favorite and Y/N was the one that Hershel hated. That alone made things tense. Adding Negan into the picture was a whole new world of mess. Learning about Negan and Maggie’s relationship and all the things they did together only made Y/N jealous.

Hearing the ticking of the old alarm clock on her nightstand, Y/N stole a quick look at it to see the time. If her family stuck to their routines, as they often did, she was up early enough to go work on the farm before her father woke up. Maybe if she got to spend some time with the things she actually loved about this place when she was a child, she would actually understand why she came back here in the first place. Feeding the animals might be a calming thing for her and give her time to really think things out.

Seeing that there was a thin layer of snow on the ground, Y/N dressed in warmer clothes that would be comfortable for the morning. After she got dressed and left her room, she stopped at the door to listen. Everything was quiet. That told her that her family was still asleep and it made her happy. It confirmed for her that she would be able to get some alone time. Thank God for their routines. Sneaking out while everyone else was asleep reminded her of her childhood. There were so many times she would just get up early just to get time to herself. There was a chill in the morning air that made her huff. This was so different than what she had grown accustomed to living in big cities for so long.

Heading toward the stables, she noticed that the doors were partially opened as she approached it. A nervous breath fell from her lungs when she wondered who could have beat her in waking up. Stepping in closer, she tipped her head to the side and heard the faint sounds of a deep voice coming from inside, “See. I’m not so fucking bad. I think the two of us could be friends. Don’t you?”

With a smirk, she carefully pulled open the doors further to see that Negan was standing at one of the stables petting the muzzle of the horse that he was in front of. An amused exhale fell from her throat when she saw how he was dressed. He was wearing a dark pair of jeans with a heavy tan jacket that was opened revealing the black long-sleeved shirt that was beneath. A light-colored cowboy hat was on top of his head and he was wearing a pair of boots to go along with it. There was a theme to his whole outfit and he was selling it. Never in her life had she ever pictured Negan getting caught wearing something like that. At this point she could tell that he didn’t notice she was there and she found herself enamored with him.

“What are you doing?” Y/N finally spoke up causing Negan’s eyebrows to bounce up, his eyes lifting to meet her stare. An amused smirk tugged at his handsome features when he saw that it was her and he gave her a simple shrug. Approaching Negan, she noticed that it was Apollo that Negan was petting and it surprised her. Especially since Apollo seemed to enjoy having Negan touching him.

“I’m making friends,” Negan’s deep, raspy voice informed her when she stepped in beside him. Just standing next to him felt nice. There was a warmth radiating off of Negan and it was a nice contrast to the morning air around them. “I woke up early and decided to help your stepbrother. Shawn is around here somewhere. I used to do this kind of stuff when I was a kid at my grandparent’s place. It’s like riding a bike.”

“A bit different,” she acknowledged with a shake of her head. It was hard not to focus on Negan’s apparel now that she was standing beside him. Truth was? She actually liked it. But it did bring one question to her mind. “Where in the world did you get the hat?”

“Your stepbrother gave it to me. I thought I looked good in it,” Negan turned to her, giving her a flirty wink. Just that alone had a rush flooding into her face. God, he was so fucking cute and he knew it. Shaking her head, she tried to focus knowing that her stepbrother was likely near. “I’m a city boy, but I can go back to my old roots if I have to.”

“And you can win over the heart of the biggest asshole on this farm,” she acknowledged, still surprised to see that Negan was managing to get along well with Apollo. That horse was never really friendly and hated most people. So to see them like this? That impressed her. Then again, she thought about the words that she said to Negan. The biggest asshole that she knew on the farm was actually, in her opinion, her father. “Well, the second biggest asshole. My father still likely hates you.”

Snorting out, Negan’s nose wrinkled and there was visible amusement from what she had just said about Hershel. That was one thing he wasn’t going to fight her on. Her father was indeed an asshole. And she more than anyone would know that. Petting Apollo a few more times Negan shrugged his shoulders and drew her attention back to the older horse, “I think it’s because we are both old and grumpy. It only makes sense that me and this guy would be able to get along.”

“That sounds good, but I promise you that no one has ever gotten on this guy’s good side. Maybe Beth? But other than that,” she alerted Negan who seemed pleased to hear that he was one of the only people to get on Apollo’s good side.

“I’m pretty good at winning most people over,” Negan mused, his eyebrow arching when he took a quick gander around the area. Making sure that they were alone, Negan slowly turned to Y/N and reached out to slide his glove covered hands over her sides. Drawing her closer to him had her letting out a shuddering breath.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there in the morning when you woke up. I woke up about an hour ago and figured before your father showed up with a shotgun, I should get out of there,” Negan explained, his voice quiet enough for only her to hear and it made a breath catch in her throat. Noticing the surprise in her features, Negan tipped his head to the side and smiled. “What?”

“Nothing, I just thought…I didn’t think that was real,” she was honest with him hearing his snickering follow. There was that adorable wrinkle of his nose followed by his dimples sinking in. Even with him amused with her he was fucking cute. “I thought I dreamt you crawling into bed with me last night to try to comfort myself to sleep.”

“No, that was me,” Negan corrected her, urging his glove covered finger in underneath her chin to get her to look up at him. There was longing in Negan’s eyes, his long eyelashes fluttered before he lowered down closer to her. “I’m the real deal, not a dream.”

A moment later Negan’s lips were covering hers. The warmth from the kiss was a vast contrast to the cool air that was surrounding them. It sent a chill down her spine but warmed her up at the core when she reached up to slide her hand in over his shoulder to brace herself.

“Negan,” she stopped him, pulling away when she thought about the fact that Negan was actually helping her stepbrother. “If Shawn sees…”

“I know,” Negan frowned remembering what she had asked of him the night before in trying to hide his feelings for her. “I’m sorry. You know how I feel about you with things. I just got caught up in the feeling of everything. Waking up with you in my arms this morning. Your face being the first one I saw. Well, other than your brother.”

“Why do you have to be like this?” she frowned, stroking her hand down from the center of his chest toward the middle of his abdomen. How quickly she fell for Negan was scary. It was too fast. Right?

With Negan pressing his forehead to hers, she was getting caught up in how affectionate the movement was. Closing her eyes, she cherished the warmth of his breath hovering over her lips. Nuzzling his nose in against hers, Negan stroked his fingers in over the sides of her face and breathed in sharply.

“Negan,” she sighed, her eyes fluttered to an open knowing that she didn’t want this to end. “We can’t do this here.”

“I know,” he swallowed loudly, his long eyelashes fluttering, but he wasn’t quick to pull away from her. As they parted, his thumb dragged across her bottom lip and it took her breath away. Just his touch could drive her wild and he knew that. “I promise I will try to relax. It’s just I’m getting caught up in all of this. Having you sleeping in my arms last night was fucking great. It just made me fall for you fucking harder. I’m head over heels for you.”

Parting her lips, she went to say something, but the sound of shuffling in the distance was heard. Stepping away, she pulled herself from Negan and it made her heart race. A disappointed breath escaped Negan’s lungs, but he gathered himself. Shawn made his way around the corner and thankfully by the time he did, they were far enough apart for him not to question things. Once Shawn’s eyes connected with hers, his smile expanded and he actually looked happy to see her. Dropping what he was carrying, Shawn headed over and wrapped Y/N up in his arms giving her a big hug. 

“I didn’t get to talk to you yesterday, but I’m super happy to see you sis,” Shawn released her and stepped back on his heel noticing that Negan was approaching her. “I know that dad has been giving you a hard time, but you just have to ignore him. He’s upset that you left him and he never let it go. When you left, he thought you were going to come crawling back to beg him for help. And you didn’t. So his feelings are hurt. Or maybe his ego is bruised. Either way, don’t let that bring you down. You’re the most successful of all of us. No one can take that away from you.”

That was something she needed to hear. And it surprised her that it came from her stepbrother. Shawn was never really good at picking up on people’s emotions and feelings, so to hear that coming from him didn’t feel like Shawn. It was sweet, but still unusual.

“We might have talked a little bit,” Negan spoke up, his hands resting at his hips while Y/N looked between the two of them. Tension flooded her features and Negan knew that she was overthinking what he said. “About the family I mean. That’s all.”

“What else would we talk about? I wouldn’t know spit from spat when it came to your work or anything like that,” Shawn’s southern drawl made Negan snicker. Bouncing his eyebrows, Negan turned his attention back to Y/N and gave her a small nod. “Just know that myself, my ma and Beth have really missed you. Your energy is something this family is missing. You were always the one pushing for more and I think we all needed that around here. We’re content, but with you…you made a lot of us want more.”

“Thanks Shawn,” she brushed her fingers over the back of her neck before pointing along the horses. “Do you think I can take Dakota and one of the horses on a ride? With the snow, I don’t know which ones handle it the best. I want to show Negan something.”

“You think the city boy here can handle riding a horse?” Shawn teased Negan, elbowing him in the side causing Negan to huff out. 

“I actually grew up on a farm with horses. Well, not all the time, but my grandparents had a farm, so I’m not full fucking city boy,” Negan explained with a snort and a shake of his head. “I think I can handle a horse.”

“You sure?” she made sure that Negan was comfortable which was followed up by a confident nod from Negan. 

“Alright. I reckon I would go with Lucky. He’s the most well behaved and he can handle the snow,” Shawn instructed pointing over toward one of the horses that was brown with white on the muzzle. “I don’t think Lucky would be upset if Negan was uncomfortable at certain points.”

Shawn started preparing Lucky for Negan to ride while Y/N was getting Dakota ready. Heading over in front of Apollo, Negan stroked his hand over the length of the horse’s head and snickered, “Now don’t you go getting jealous of me and Lucky. You and I are still friends, but we have to learn to bond with one another more before I even consider taking a ride on you.”

“I wouldn’t do that if you want to keep your life,” Shawn snorted from the other side of the aisle where he was at. “That boy hasn’t let anyone ride him in years. We can get a few pets in here and there, but he’s feisty.”

“We’ll see,” Negan grumbled under his breath, brushing his fingers through Apollo’s mane. “I think this guy will open up to me at some point.”

“Are you sure you’re comfortable with riding? I figured since you were new around the farm, I would just show you some things that you might like. Maybe you will want to show the kids later,” Y/N spoke up and Negan gave her another confident nod. “Alright then.”

Both Y/N and Shawn waited when Negan climbed up onto Lucky to make sure that he didn’t fall over. At first, he seemed off balance, but when he got his center, he flashed them a bright cocky smile that had Y/N shaking her head. Of course Negan had to be good at most things. Walking over to Dakota, she got up and then directed Negan with what he needed to say to get Lucky to do what he wanted. Once he got the hang of things, they started off through the large, empty field toward the trees.

“Couldn’t wait to get me alone, could you?” Negan joked getting her to look over at him. Flashing her a big, arrogant smile had her rolling her eyes. Shaking her head, she didn’t give him the satisfaction of getting an answer from her and just kept on forward. “I actually don’t mind this whole farm life thing.”

“Oh?” she quipped, her eyebrow arching in curiosity when they reached the tree line and she led them through the woods.

“I mean, I look good in a cowboy hat,” Negan reasoned with her, lifting his left hand to point toward his face. Flashing another arrogant, wolfish smile had her rolling her eyes and continuing. “I’m a sexy cowboy.”

“Does the ego ever quit?” she wondered hearing his raspy laugh follow. Even though she found him adorable and agreed that he made a good-looking cowboy, she knew that it seemed like he was always egotistical.

“I mean, it’s not ego if it’s true,” Negan countered, his head bobbing about when she came to an area in the middle of the woods where she wanted to stop. Watching her hop down, he got Lucky to stop before getting down himself. “I think I just really am that fucking awesome.”

“Of course you do,” she headed over to the large sitting rocks that were set out in a circle. This was a place that Maggie and her friends had set up when they were younger, but Y/N would often come here a lot when she was a kid to get some time to think about things. Taking a seat down on one of the larger rocks that were there, she let out an extended sigh and noticed the tip of Negan’s head. “What?”

“I don’t know, you tell me,” Negan sat across from her, leaning forward on the large rock that was there. Arching his thick eyebrow, he waited for her to say something and tossed his hand up. “I know that look on your face. It’s the, I’m really upset and I have something to say face, but I don’t know if I should. You use it all the time at work when you are trying to be polite, but you hate something. Not that you use it with me, but I’ve seen it with other people.”

“Jesus. You know my faces now?” she retorted and Negan nodded his head shrugging his shoulders when she repositioned on the rock that was before him. It was best to just get everything out now that they were alone and she knew that. “Maggie and I talked last night.”

“And?” Negan slurred as if waiting for something to come from her. There was no panic or worry and that surprised her.

“Negan, I don’t think I can do this with you,” she declared, lowering her head so that way she didn’t have to look at him. Looking at him made things hard because just the sight of his eyes could cause her heart to skip a beat. “Maggie told me about the first time that the two of you met. And she was talking about you. A lot. In extensive details.”

“Okay. And?” Negan put emphasis on his words, still confused as to why she was questioning things with them again. “What is going on here Y/N? We talked about this yesterday and I thought we had a deal between the two of us. You know that you want to be with me and I want to be with you.”

“I know, but it’s…” she felt the lump in her throat growing and the guilt started to eat away at her. “It’s complicated.”

“What isn’t complicated in life? If we let everything that was complicated stop us, none of us would fucking be here,” Negan tossed that out to her and it surprised her how much it made sense. “What did Maggie say that has you uncomfortable?”

“She was talking about the first time that the two of you met. How you brought lunch to her on the steps and then later in the night the two of you had sex in a bar bathroom stall,” Y/N listed off the things that Maggie had told her. Hearing all that made her jealous, but Negan didn’t seem affected by it. “She was going very much in depth about how good at sex you were. How you had a big dick that was really nice.”

“What about that bothered you? I am good at sex. I do have a big dick,” Negan listed off hearing the groan that followed from her. Throwing his hand up in the air, he tried to reason with her about things. “I mean these are things that you know already Y/N. I also have a small ass. I got no back in the booty. I come a lot too.”

“Negan!” she scoffed noticing the dramatic flair he was adding to everything he was saying while bobbing his head back and forth. “It was awkward hearing how the two of you had sex that first night. You have no idea how hard it was for me to sit there and listen to my sister talking about fucking you on the first night. Showing me how big she thought your dick was while deep down I already knew.”

“I still don’t get it. Yes, I had sex with Maggie on the first night, but that’s because your sister grabbed my wrist after she lost to me in a game of pool. She dragged me into the bathroom and it just kind of happened,” Negan recalled his past with Maggie and he licked his lips. “Y/N in this case, I understand that Maggie is your half-sister, but she’s just some person that I had sex with on the first night. But it was safe. I wore a condom. I always wore a condom with Maggie. I get you feel weird about it because she is related to you, but you haven’t even talked to her in years. The people here, they don’t respect you. Shawn, your stepmother and Beth seem to admire you though. I don’t think they would care who you were and you weren’t dating.”

“You say all that like it’s nothing,” Y/N frowned hating that she found herself feeling both jealous and guilty over Maggie. “You’re literally fucking my sister.”

“Correction. I used to be fucking your half-sister. I haven’t had sex with Maggie in a while,” Negan informed her with a grunt, throwing his hands up in the air when she mentioned it. “I’ve been so fucking busy with work and the kids that there was no way that it was going to happen. No nut November would have described the situation going on in my pants because there was no time for anything.”

“Are you ever serious?” she scoffed in frustration hearing Negan’s thick rumble of laughter over his own explanation of things.

“I’ve been nothing, but serious with you,” Negan pronounced his words in such a way that it made her laugh and roll her eyes at him. “I find it hard understanding where the problem falls in here with you and me. I want to date you. I want you to be mine and more than fucking anything I want to be yours. Yes, I was dating your sister. Yes, I’ve had sex with her, but I never will again.”

“You can’t say that,” she dismissed his comment with a grunt. Maggie was a very persuasive person and she knew by the way that Maggie talked about Negan that she honestly liked him. “I can’t expect you to drop every person that you want to have sex with just because you are interested in me and we are having…whatever this is.”

“I don’t want anyone else,” Negan assured her with determination in his voice, reaching up to pull the cowboy hat from his head to set it in his lap. “I’ve been dating your sister for six months. Kind of. And I haven’t even given her a key to my apartment yet. She doesn’t live with me. I came on this trip because I was worried about my children not having a good holiday. I can’t tell you how unserious this relationship actually is with Maggie.”

“Oh,” her lips parted, her eyes shifting when she thought about the information that he just gave her. “I didn’t know that.”

“There are a lot of things you don’t know and I’m an open book that will tell you everything,” Negan threw that out there, throwing his hands up in the air. “Go ahead, have at it. If you are uncomfortable, ask me anything and I will tell you. I’ll be upfront and honest with you. I don’t want to hide anything from you.”

“It’s not that I don’t believe you Negan. It’s just Maggie has real feelings for you Negan. I think she believes that she loves you,” Y/N educated Negan on how Maggie appeared to feel about him. “And I’m sure you have some feelings for her there too.”

“I think both Maggie and I love each other,” Negan maintained, his right hand lifting up and circling in the air while he tried to gather his thoughts. “I love Maggie. I do. But the way in which I fucking love Maggie is not me in love with Maggie. I love Maggie the way anyone would love their friends that they are close to.”

“Their friend that they’ve had lots of sex with,” she corrected Negan, allowing that jealousy to flood her features again. Gazing out into the woods around them, she felt like her face was on fire when she let Maggie’s words replay in her mind.

“I’ve had sex with you once and I’m more hooked on you than I have been on Maggie since I met her,” Negan snapped his fingers to get her to look at him. Her face scrunched up and he chuckled, his nose wrinkling at the idea that she was jealous of Maggie. “Boss, I know I probably sound like a fucking creep, but I’ve never felt something more real than I do when I’m with you. I have no doubt in my mind that you are meant to be with me and I am meant to be with you. And maybe having Maggie in my life was the world’s way of putting us closer together like this.”

“I feel like a bad person,” she finally confessed to something that was eating away at her. “I’m engaged to Glenn. And while I should feel guilty about cheating on him with you and for wanting to be with you, I’m actually more upset because I’m jealous of my sister. Jealous that she’s been with you. That she’s gotten to have you for this long. With how I feel about you, I’m a horrible person in terms of both Maggie and Glenn. Both of them are good people Negan. What we’re doing, it’s wrong.”

“So because Maggie and Glenn are good people, we should ignore the things that are happening between us? You should be miserable for the rest of your life because Maggie and Glenn are good people?” Negan inquired frustration flooding his veins and he shook his head. “That’s your abusive family talking, not you. Why can’t you be happy?”

“Because my happiness is going to break the heart of Glenn, my sister and it’s going to tear my family apart again,” she whimpered when Negan stood up from the large stone that he was sitting on, but moved around the area they were in to take a seat next to her. Putting his cowboy hat back on, Negan stared out at her and shook his head. “Negan…”

“If it tears your family apart, you will find your family with me, Beau and Erin,” Negan explained, his hand reaching up so he could sweep his thumb in over the side of her face. “I promise you, it might seem fast, but when you fucking know. You know.”

“But why me Negan? Why me?” she was getting emotional with the way that he was talking to her and the way that he was touching her. “Maggie is so beautiful. She’s perfect. She’s always been better than me.”

“You are beautiful. You are perfect. You are everything I want,” Negan declared, his eyelids growing heavy with his eyes locked on hers. “Yes, I care about your sister, but I want to be with you. I think the two of us could share a beautiful life. And why wait? We both know what we want. Think about it. You can move in with me. If you miss home, we can get ourselves a farm on the side so when you need that break away from the big city, we can disappear together. I mean we can certainly fucking afford it.”

“We’ve had sex once and you’re talking about moving in,” she was shocked, her head shaking but Negan captured her jaw between his thumb and index finger. “How can you make these plans so fucking fast?”

“Because. As crazy as it fucking sounds, sometimes love doesn’t fucking take it’s time. It comes out of nowhere and it punches you in the face and then the gut. I want to be with you every second. I want to walk into work, see you and know that beautiful woman is mine and no one is ever going to change that. I think we’d make cute kids. You can see by Beau and Erin, I make good looking kids. If you are worried about the whole children thing, we don’t have to rush into it. And I’m willing to give you as many children as you want. As long as you would still treat Beau and Erin good because they are my heart. Of course, if we had children they would be too, but I need to have room for all of them. Not just ours.”

“Children?” she chuckled, her eyes tearing over while Negan spoke about things. “In most cases people would think you were insane and I should run.”

“But it appeals to you,” Negan grumbled when she stood up from the oversized rock that she was sitting on. “If you weren’t so worried about other people’s feelings, I would run away with you and the children right now. I would take you home and we could start right there. But you are forcing yourself to worry about everyone else. When in reality, for the first time in your life you may have the first real thing you’ve ever had with me. We’ve gone through all the stages already. Desperation, jealousy, hurt…you name it. As someone who knows what it is like to find a special love and lose it, why would you want to wait when you’ve found something so…so fucking real.”

“God, you have no idea how hard you are making this whole thing,” she shook her head, moving around Negan to head back toward Dakota to hop on the horse. When she took off, Negan swiftly moved back to Lucky. Doing his best to follow her, Negan noticed that she stopped at the old barn on the property. Following her in, Negan saw that she was sitting on a pile of hay, her head buried in her hands visibly upset.

“What has you so upset about us today as opposed to yesterday?” Negan knelt down before her, his hands cautiously reaching out to press in over her knees to caress over them in a tender sweep. “Talk to me Y/N.”

“Maggie brought up something last night. When we were younger, she stole my boyfriend. I was dating someone older than me. Someone that I should have never been with to begin with, but he took my virginity and I thought I was in love with him,” she admitted to Negan, her throat tensing up when the idea of Shane and Maggie re-entered her mind. “What I didn’t realize was that he had eyes for Maggie. I never told Maggie about him, but he used me to get to her. And it worked. Maggie slept with him and I found them together. And even when she found out that he was my boyfriend, she still decided to date him. Maggie stole my boyfriend. If they find out about you and me, they are going to think I’m doing this for revenge Negan. They are going to think that I am holding onto a grudge from all those years ago.”

“Who cares what they think? We both know that’s not the truth. You and I had sex long before I knew you were Maggie’s half-sister and long before you found out that I was dating Maggie,” Negan pointed out, leaning in closer to her, his hand outstretching so he could caress over the side of her tear-stained face. “Your family did a fucking number on you honey. What you need, what you’ve always needed was someone who saw you…all of you and stood up for you. Here I am to tell you, who gives a fuck what they think of us? What they think of you? If Maggie thinks you stole me because of that? Well, good. Because that was fucked up what she did with that fucker.”

“That’s not the point Negan. I don’t even care about that guy anymore, but Maggie will. She will think that I did this in order to get back at her for what she did with him,” she explained hating that it was getting to this, but it was true and she knew it would be brought up. “Yes, I want to be with you…”

“Then stop right there,” Negan interrupted her, leaning forward with his long eyelashes fluttering and his hands grabbing a firm hold of hers. Caressing his thumb over the back of her hand, he got her to look at him and he offered up a big, goofy smile. “Y/N, that’s all that I need to hear. You want to be with me. I want to be with you. It’s not much harder than that. I don’t care what Maggie, Glenn or your family thinks. I don’t care what anyone thinks,” Negan lifted up enough, the warmth of his breath lingering over her lips. “We will make this whole thing work.”

“You’re so confident,” she tremored with Negan’s lips faintly brushing over hers drawing her to calm down and into a sweet surrender all over again. Bracing her hands in over his chest, she slid her palms up to caress in over his shoulders. “How do you know we aren’t making a mistake?”

“Because I know how I feel,” Negan asserted, his words vibrating against her bottom lip with the kisses he was peppering over her flesh. “I’ve felt this way once before and it wasn’t wrong then either. Every time I see you, my heart skips a beat. And it happened long before we hooked up in your office. I’ve always been enamored by you, but spending that first night with you? I just knew right then and there that it was you. You’re my missing piece.”

“Fuck you Negan,” she palmed up over the side of his face, her fingers hooking into his hair. Confusion flooded his hazel eyes, a smirk tugging at his lips. “Why do you have to make me fall in love with you every time you talk?”

“And here I was afraid of using that word,” Negan slurred, his eyes narrowing when he reached up to brush her hair out of her face. Gasping, she realized exactly what he meant by using that word and he hushed her. “I was afraid of throwing that word around, just in case it freaked you out, but with you saying it first…”

“I don’t know what to say,” she was honest. She was at a loss for words. She wanted to deny things, but she couldn’t. And she could go further in depth but she was afraid to. “You’re the only person that makes me feel that way.”

“That’s because I’ve always got something to say,” Negan hushed her, tracing his thumb over her bottom lip repeatedly. A gust of wind filled the air making Negan lift his head to see that it was starting to snow again. “I’ll talk enough for the two of us.”

“Love is a big word you know,” she pointed out, her eyes narrowing when he leaned her back into the hay crawling in over her.

“It’s actually not,” Negan replied back, his lips hovering over hers. “It’s a four-letter word. It’s a really short word if you think about it.”

“Negan,” she scoffed having his nose wrinkling in amusement and his deep raspy laugh following. “People would say we were crazy if we started throwing that word around.”

“Why? I think the word is a very good word to throw around when you feel something so deeply for someone. Like, I love your smile,” Negan pressed a kiss over her cheek, taking the time to pause, “I love your eyes,” Negan continued pressing a kiss over her forehead. “I love the face you make when you’re deep in your work,” Negan’s mouth moved to her jawline to press another kiss there. “It took one night for me to know I’m in love with you. Obviously. I’m fucking willing to run away with you. Start a whole new life. Kind of at least. Last night when I laid with you, you cuddled into me like I was protecting you. Like in my arms you were safe. But having you in my arms like that? It was the first time I’ve felt whole in a very long time.”

“If you threw on half this charm to Maggie, I see why she feels the way she does about you,” she informed him, tugging him down to her to forcefully kiss him. Over and over again, his lips caressed over hers and she allowed him to have the dominance in this moment. She liked the way he took control and how it made her feel.

“It’s not the charm. It’s how I feel,” Negan stated with a smirk, his eyes fluttering to a close when her fingers tugged at the shirt he was wearing to get it loose from his pants. Pushing her hands up underneath the material made him hiss when her cool fingertips skimmed over his torso. “I’m fucking crazy for you.”

“You know how I mentioned you being submissive?” she wondered, her hands sliding up over his chest and back down again toward his lower abdomen near the top of his pants. “What if I asked you to be incredibly dominant with me right now. Would you do it?”

“What do you have in mind?” Negan’s eyebrow arched when she pulled her hands out from underneath is shirt. Licking his lips, he wasn’t turned off of the idea, but he didn’t know where she was headed with this.

“With how I’ve been feeling, I kind of just want you to have your way with me,” she informed him noticing the way he got more comfortable over her, his eyes searching hers for some kind of direction. “I don’t know Negan, I’m so used to having control and here I feel completely out of control with things. Maybe I’m just looking for you to be dominant so I can actually feel good while you’re doing it.”

“Hmm…” Negan hummed, dragging his tongue across his bottom lip before a small smile tugged at his lips. Exhaling loudly, he adjusted his weight over her so he could sweep his thumb over her jawline. “I think you just need a new daddy in your life. One that gives you exactly what you need in life. Love. Acceptance. Understanding. A daddy that will constantly pamper you and praise you.”

Finally bringing their lips together had her purring out against the kiss. Negan’s right hand caressed down over her side while he braced his weight on his left arm. Curling his arm around her waist had her lifting her hips so he could squeeze at her bottom. Moaning against his lips had him pulling back and smiling down at her.

“Daddy kink?” she slurred, sucking at her lip with an amused sound.

“Is that a turn off?” Negan wondered, lifting his hand to use his teeth to pull the glove from his hand. Tossing it beside them, he lowered his hand to pluck open the button of her jeans.

“In most cases, probably,” she admitted with a tip of her head, sinking her fingers into his hair leading him to lean into her touch. His eyes closed, his jaw flexing showing how much he appreciated just having her touch him like she was. “With you? Surprisingly? It’s the opposite.”

“Good,” Negan snickered, burying his head against the side of her neck to pepper her flesh in wet, heated kisses. “Daddy will make you feel so good. I promise.”

Wincing, she arched her hips when Negan’s fingers tugged down the zipper in her jeans. Tipping his head down, he made sure that he pushed the material apart before sliding his palm beneath her pants to caress over her body through the thin material separating him from her flesh. Clinging tightly to Negan, she panted and felt her heart skip a beat at the touch. Chills flooded her veins with the way his palm teased over her most sensitive parts. The warmth from his palm was a vast contrast from the coolness of the cold air that was surrounding them in the old barn.

“When you mean dominant, do you mean just control things or do you mean fuck you raw?” Negan’s words rumbled and a rush of excitement flooded her veins. With the way her pupils dilated after his question, he knew what direction this was going. “You know, I’ll give you what you want, but at some point, I’d like to have sex with you in a bed so I can make love to you. Make you understand what it is that you fucking deserve.”

“I don’t know if that’s going to be possible in my father’s house,” she gasped when Negan forcefully pushed down her pants to her thighs. Tugging at her panties had her arching her hips to help him before he got her settled back in the hay again. “There are so many people in that house.”

“I’m sure I can keep you quiet,” Negan winked at her, his throat flexing when the warmth of his fingertips traced over the length of her sex. Every touch had her tremoring and by the time her breathing was loud enough for him to hear, he couldn’t help but snicker. Teasingly, he circled his fingers around her sensitive bundle of nerves having her coo out with the touch. “I think your body has not been pampered in the way it should have been through the years.”

“You look at me like I’m an innocent virgin Negan and I’m not,” she reminded him, sucking in a sharp breath of air. “You are far from the first man I’ve been with.”

“Mhmm, but I’m the first real man that you have been with,” Negan arrogantly stammered, his lips hovering in over hers. In that moment, his caress got stronger and more determined. “You’ve never experienced real pleasure until you got with me. All the other men in your life? They had no fucking idea how to pleasure your body and make you experience things that you should have been for so long. What you needed was a real man to show you what you are capable of feeling.”

“Negan,” her eyes closed tightly, her cries growing with how he touched her. Rocking her hips into his caress had him letting out a long exhale. Clinging to his wrist, she found herself desperate for his touch and knew that he was right. No one made her feel the way that he did. She had never longed for someone like she did Negan.

“You are so fucking perfect,” Negan slurred, lowering down enough to kiss over her jawline toward the side of her neck. Tipping her head back, she whined when his fingers left her clitoris to slide further down between her thighs. Taking his time pushing a single digit into her warmth had her moaning out, her head burying against the side of her neck. Adding another, Negan hummed and unhurriedly started thrusting his fingers inside of her. Gradually each movement grew in strength having her whimpering against his flesh. It drove her crazy that Negan knew exactly how to touch her in just the right way to have her trembling beneath him. “Look at you. Glenn has no idea what he is doing with you.”

“He was a virgin when I met him,” she blurt out only realizing almost immediately after how bad that sounded when Negan snorted. Crying out, she dropped her head watching Negan’s quick movements hearing the wet sounds of her body while he fingered her.

“Makes sense then,” Negan growled lowering enough to nibble at her earlobe, giving it a firm tug. Soon her moans grew louder, her body shaking against his touch while he focused on her g-spot. “Almost there…”

“Your fingers are so fucking long,” she panted, tugging on Negan’s hair to bring him to her in order to kiss her. “Goddamn.”

“I do have big hands. But I’m also an artist and a gamer,” Negan informed her with a wicked smirk having her clinging tightly to him when he quickened his movements. “So these hands know exactly what they need to do in order to get things done.”

“Negan…fuck…” she cried out with the fire burning deeply inside of her. Pulling her hips away from his fingers, she heard a wet sound follow and a raspy moan fell from Negan’s throat. Digging her nails into the material of Negan’s jacket, she felt the warmth of his kisses trailing up the side of her neck and she panted. Everything inside of her was tingling and her heart was hammering inside of her chest. There was an ache in her head while her hips shook. “I am so, so sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing? That is the greatest compliment someone could ever get,” Negan questioned, his tone amused when her body finally started to calm down and relax after the orgasm he got her too. “There is nothing wrong with doing that. See, this is the problem. No one has made you feel as good as you should and you feel bad for coming. I hear you, it feels fucking good, right?”

“Yes,” she licked her lips watching Negan give an arrogant nod before lifting up. A worried sound fell from her, but he shook his head and hushed her.

“Don’t worry, we’re not done yet,” Negan assured her, taking the cowboy hat from his head. Setting it aside, he brushed his fingers through his messy hair to slick it back. Honestly? Knowing that she panicked at the idea of him leaving fueled him even more. Pulling off his other glove, he tossed it aside and then lazily pulled his jacket from his body. Crawling in over her, Negan got on his knees and started to pull his belt open. “Why don’t you show daddy how much you appreciate him making you feel the way that he does?”

Pushing up on her hands, she smirked when he started pulling open his pants. Shifting her weight, she reached up to help him push the material apart. Pushing his shirt up toward the center of his abdomen allowed her the gift of seeing his slender abdomen. Stroking her fingertips over the warmth of his flesh had Negan tipping his head back licking over his lips. Sliding her palms down, she hooked her fingers into the waistband of his boxer briefs and smirked, “Just curious. Do you have anything other than black and red?”

“Huh?” Negan snorted lowering his head to watch her pressing wet kisses over the area right beneath his bellybutton. With a firm tug, she pulled down the front of the red colored boxer briefs he was wearing and it made him grunt when his cock sprung free from behind the material. “Yes, I have other colors. I’ve got gray, blue, white…I just happen to think I look good in black and red. Do you not?”

“You look good in anything,” she dragged her tongue along his flesh having a grumble fall from his lips. Hooking her eyes with his, her fingers curled around his girthy length taking her time to caress over his hard cock. Faintly pressing kisses at the shaft had his hips arching forward toward her making her purr out. “I can’t get over how pretty your cock is.”

“Not as pretty as you,” Negan sank his fingers into her hair, pulling her head back slightly. It had her looking up at him. Her lips parted, her pupils dilated with lust. Curling his fingers tighter into her hair, he reached out with his left hand and dragged his thumb across her bottom lip. Wrapping her lips around his thumb, she sucked faintly keeping her eyes locked with his while her tongue dragged against his flesh. “You’re being such a good girl.”

“Yes daddy,” she purred and it made him laugh, his fingers pulling from her to wrap them around the base of his manhood to caress over it. “I have a confession to make.”

“Yeah?” Negan’s eyebrow arched, curiosity flooding his features when he pushed his hips forward to drag the tip of his cock against her wet lips. Grunting out, he adjusted on his legs while she pressed gentle kisses against his flesh.

“When Maggie was talking about how big you were, I told her that I thought you were small,” she informed him, her tongue dragging out across the slit at the tip drawing Negan to groan out. “With your ego, I would have never guessed you genuinely had a reason to have such a big ego. But you do. Your dick is so…so…nice.”

“My dick can also be very naughty,” Negan teased urging her to hold her tongue out. Obeying, she did what he wanted when he tapped the head of his cock against the warmth of her tongue. “I’m glad I was able to prove you wrong. But I’m also sorry to hear you’ve never been with a man capable of really pleasuring you the way you are meant to be. Now be a good girl and wrap your lips around daddy’s cock.”

Doing what he asked, she took Negan into her mouth, bobbing her head forward before pulling back and dragging her tongue across the flesh. It had Negan’s abdomen flexing, his hips arching forward toward her movements while she pleasured him. The strokes of Negan’s fingers over her scalp were an added bonus while he helped her movements over his distended flesh setting a steady pace over his length.

There was so many things appealing about Negan. From his arrogance to his looks and the way he spoke. Even with sex. She liked that he could be both dominant and submissive with her. Shane was her first and he was rough, but not always in a good way. There were other unforgettable men in between and then there was Glenn. Who almost was afraid of sex and shy to do things. Which is why Y/N never really focused on sex much. Being with Glenn was more of her having a relationship with someone and not being alone. It gave her time to focus on work and not have to worry about the whole sex thing because it never really worked out with her. But with Negan? She understood the appeal. Whether he was being naughty or nice, everything worked with her.

“Relax your throat,” Negan growled, pushing his hips forward to sink his length further down her throat. Gagging slightly at first had him pulling his hips back allowing her to take in a big gasp of air. “Too much?”

“I’m fine,” she assured him, licking her wet lips before going back into pleasuring Negan. At first, she took her time on the first few inches of him. This time Negan let her do what she was comfortable with until she started taking more of him further down her throat with every movement.

“Fuck. That’s so good,” Negan dropped his head back, his fingers hooking tighter into her hair while the wet sounds of her pleasuring him filled the cool air around them. Pulling back on her hair had her whining when he pulled her from his length. An amused sound escaped his lips while he used his other hand to pump his hand over his rigid body. “Look at you. So addicted to my cock that you get mad when I take you away from it. I mean, you can keep giving me a blowjob, but you asked me to fuck you raw. If you want to just give me a blowjob, I won’t fight you on it.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, tipping her head further back to look up at him with a frown. “I promise I’ll be a good girl.”

“That’s better,” Negan snorted, grasping her jaw between his thumb and index finger. Smirking, Negan urged her back again, tugging her boots off with a grunt and she laughed when he almost fell. “I’m doing my best here.”

“I like it,” she assured him with a tiny laugh when he reached for her pants to tug them down her legs along with her panties and tossing them aside. Pushing his pants further down his hips, Negan stroked his fingers over his length drawing attention to it. Even though she wanted this, there was still a sense of panic when he lowered in over her, bracing his weight on his left arm. Pressing her hands in over the center of his chest, she caressed up and over his shoulders. “Can you take your shirt off?”

“I will if you will,” Negan’s nose wrinkled and she gave him a nod. Working with Negan, she managed to quickly get her jacket, shirt and bra off before helping Negan to push his shirt up his lengthy torso. Once he laid over her, the hairs from his chest tickled at her flesh, but the sensation of the skin-to-skin contact felt amazing. “You just want the both of us to freeze, huh?”

“I just want to see all of you,” she stroked her fingers through the dark curls of hair over his chest, shuddering when Negan nuzzled his nose in against hers.

What was almost amazing is they sold this whole extreme sex situation, but instead they were more so just cuddling against each other at first. Lifting up, she kissed over his collarbone toward his freckle covered shoulders. Awe for this man filled her and she couldn’t believe how much they actually connected. Adjusting her thighs, Negan lowered himself down and grabbed a firm hold of his erection. Leading it toward her entrance, he made sure she was ready before thrusting forward. Sinking into her unhurriedly, Negan’s raspy moan filled the air and she clung tightly to him. It had only been two days since he was inside of her last, but it felt like a lifetime after all she had been through. Meeting Negan’s lips in another kiss only seemed to enhance the feeling of all of this. It was incredible how full Negan could make her feel as he stayed stagnant inside of her for a moment. Once his hips started moving, their kisses grew in strength, her muted cries falling from her throat with every fluid thrust forward.

Hovering his lips over hers, Negan teased her with the idea of kissing her as the strength of his thrusts grew. Every smack of his hips against hers had her mewling out, her fingers digging into his shoulders while he did it. A sound drew Negan’s attention and he looked back over his shoulder to see that the horses were moving around outside of the barn.

“You don’t think they will draw attention, do you?” Negan inquired, lowering himself to be closer to her, the friction of his groin rubbing up against her clitoris with every roll of his hips he made.

“I don’t care at this point anymore,” she informed him, stroking her fingers through his messy hair. And she meant it. If her family were to come here to find Negan fucking her, oh well. The only people she didn’t want to see them was Negan’s children and that was for obvious reasons. But her family? Their judgement was something she didn’t care for. “Fuck them if they see.”

“Thatta girl,” Negan growled, nipping at her bottom lip hearing her cries getting louder. “Feel good?”

“So good,” she whimpered clinging tightly to him, letting out a moan when she felt his left hand reaching up to wrap his fingers loosely around her throat. When he applied a small amount of pressure, it had her purring out and she leaned her head back. Winces fell from her with every forward thrust he made into her. “You feel so fucking big daddy.”

“That’s because daddy’s cock is big inside of your tight little pussy,” Negan growled, his forehead resting against hers. A chill flooded her with his dirty talk. God, it was so fucking hot. Underneath him, her body tensed up. Her thighs were twitching, her pussy tightening around his length. It had Negan cussing out, his thrusts more prominent when he got her to another orgasm. Clinging to him, she was desperate to still keep him moving while her moans filtered from her throat. “Fucking hell Y/N. You can’t get enough of me, can you?”

Pausing his movements, Negan enjoyed the way her warmth contracted and relaxed around his throbbing length. Watching her lick her lips made him smile. Her pulse was jumping in her throat, her pants loud enough for them both to hear with her eyes closed. Grumbling, Negan pulled himself up to his knees and relaxed. Tugging her closer to him, he urged her to wrap her hands under her knees so she could hold her legs up for him. Getting as close to her as he could, he traced the length of his body over her sensitive folds and watched her hips rock up toward him.

“Nothing turns me on more than the faces you make while I’m fucking you,” Negan informed her, sucking at his bottom lip when he caressed the ridges of the tip of his cock against her clitoris. It had her purring out and he reached out to cup her breast with his left hand while his right continued to tease her with his rigid length. “I’m so used to seeing you stressed or focused, it’s nice to see you relaxed and so euphoric over something I’m doing to you.”

“You’re starting to stress me out the longer you aren’t inside of me,” she alerted him and his deep laugh followed. Nodding, he lined the tip of his cock up with her entrance and pushed forward only slightly. Allowing the tip of his cock to enter her, he pulled back and watched her pout before repeating the movement several times. “Please Negan.”

“I know. I know. You just have to understand how amazing the sight is watching my dick going in and out of you. It looks good and it feels good,” Negan growled, leaning back and bracing himself on his left hand. “But you don’t want just the tip. You want me balls deep in your beautiful little pussy. I understand.”

Giving her what she wanted, he led himself back into her hearing the whine she released when he bottomed out. Staying still had her hips arching up against him causing him to growl deeply while his right hand squeezed firmly at her hip, “Good girl. Now keep those legs up.”

Staying put, he slid his right hand down and circled his thumb over her clitoris hearing her coo out upon the contact, “Fuck me…”

Sucking at his bottom lip, Negan started to rock his hips, taking his time thrusting into her at first. Just keeping things steady and sweet. Trying to work up that hot spot inside of her. Once her cries started to escape her lips again, he pulled his right hand back and braced himself on both of his hands. Taking a second to position himself appropriately, he began driving his cock into her at just the right depth to hit her g-spot with upward thrusts. Paying close attention to her reactions to everything, Negan would slow down or speed up at the right times to help aid to the pleasure she was getting. There was something so entirely appealing seeing the way she would lift her head up to watch his cock pounding into her again and again.

Keeping her quiet was not something that was going to happen right now. Not with how he was visibly making her feel. Hearing her breathing hitching, he watched her fingers digging into her flesh and he quickened the roll of his hips, “Don’t hold back this time. Just let this happen.”

“Negan,” she gasped, noticing the strokes of his cock getting harder and faster before she pulled her hips up and away from him when another powerful orgasm hit her. A low guttural growl fell from Negan’s lips. Caressing the tip of his cock against her clitoris had her whimpering out, her hips arching up toward him. Soft tapping sounds were heard before he traced his length between her sensitive folds. “Fuck…I think you’re going to kill me.”

“Only in the best of ways,” Negan grunted with a smile, urging her to turn onto her stomach before he crawled in over her. Resting a knee on each side of her, Negan got comfortable while he stroked his aching erection in his hand. Underneath him she was panting, her hands stretching out to squeeze around the loose hay that was there. With a smirk, he brought his palm down in over her bottom spanking her. A surprised exhale fell from her throat and he didn’t know if she’d be into a light spanking at first. When she wiggled beneath him and purred out, it gave him the okay to do it again. And he did. This time, he squeezed at her fleshy bottom knowing that by the sounds she made that she liked it. “Good girl.”

Readjusting, he grabbed a firm hold of the base of his manhood, leading it back toward her opening. Once he was lined up, he smacked his hips forward drawing a gasp from her throat when he did it. With both hands, he squeezed at her bottom using it to help her bring herself back against him. Their flesh smacked together, the deep plunges of his cock inside of her causing a wet sound to surround them. Pounding into her had her almost sliding forward, but his hands slid up to her hips to grasp them and keep her in place.

“Fucking hell,” Negan tipped his head back, his thrusts hard. His testicles were smacking up against her clitoris and it was already sensitive as hell so the sensation left her wanting more. Reaching around her, she grasped at his hip needing him closer to her.

“Holy shit Negan,” she blurt out, looking over her shoulder to steal a glance at him pounding into her from behind. Gasping out with every thrust he made, she dug her fingers into his flesh and heard him groan. Just watching him, seeing what he was doing to her turned her on all the more. “Fuck…fuck…”

Moving forward, she felt Negan following her, his hands pressing in beside her when he lowered himself, “I know it’s sensitive, but you are gonna want this honey,” Negan assured her, his right hand reaching up to curl around her jaw to get her to turn her head slightly so it could bring their lips together. Brushing his tongue between her parted lips, Negan felt her eager to return the gesture while he had his way with her. Outstretching her left hand, she hooked her fingers with Negan’s and squeezed them tightly. At that moment, she started feeling faint. There was an ache at her temple, a tremoring sensation in her thighs while Negan kept up with his speed.  

“Fucking…Negan…” she cried out, bouncing forward when the power of his thrusts grew stronger. Dropping her head, her eyes slammed shut and she pushed at Negan’s lower abdomen when her body started shaking again. A proud exhale fell from Negan’s throat when he kissed down over her jawline, biting at her chin while she urged him to take a moment. “Goddamn it Negan. I’ve had orgasms, but these…”

“Yeah?” Negan chuckled waiting for her to have some kind of response, but she was still shaking beneath him.

“I’m gonna need a second,” she explained knowing that while she felt incredibly good after the orgasm he just gave her, it felt like her heart was going to pound out of her chest.

“Yes ma’am,” Negan responded with a half-laugh, dropping down beside her in the hay. Rolling onto her side, she laid her head in over the center of Negan’s chest when he wrapped his arm around her and she looked to his rigid cock that was twitching. Reaching down, she wrapped her fingers around his body and took her time stroking over it. “Next time we’re going to do it in a bed. And instead of multiple orgasms, I’m going to draw it out so by the time you finally do come it will blow your mind.”

“I’m so confused,” she breathlessly stammered against his flesh, kissing at Negan’s chest before nipping faintly at the flesh. “Were you always like this?”

“What? Hot?” Negan snorted and she rolled her eyes. A moment later she was shakily pushing up to crawl in over Negan still caressing over his erection with her gentle touch. “Yes, I was always pretty good looking.”

“That’s not what I meant. I meant good at sex because it’s like you know exactly what to do and how to do it in order to get whatever it is you want,” she rambled off how she was feeling making Negan smile from where he was beneath her. A muted moan fell from his throat with the way she was touching him and he shrugged. “I don’t get it. I’ve had sex with other people…I’m not a virgin. But with you it feels like I’ve never really had sex before.”

“A lot of people aren’t me,” Negan reasoned with her, his palms reaching up to caress over her breasts while she took time to gain back her strength. “I just have learned to pay attention to people and what they like. No I wasn’t always good at sex. I’m sure if Lucille was here, she would tell you our first time was trash. I had absolutely zero control and I was just eager to come. Now, with practice, I’ve learned to control things, pay attention to what makes someone feel good and I work on that. Do I still come fast sometimes? Yeah. I do. I get excited too. I’m not always perfect. And if you want to be with me, you can’t always expect me to be perfect a hundred percent, but I’ll always try.”

“I see,” she was impressed that he was being honest with her as she reached for the cowboy hat he had pulled off earlier to put back on him. With an amused rumble of laughter, Negan felt her crawling in over him more confidently. Dragging the tip of his cock through her folds, Negan moaned out and rolled his eyes back. His body was ready to come and it ached like hell, but he wanted to give her time to let her body do what it needed. Once she lowered down over his length, he let out a grunt when she took him inside of her completely. Her nails dug into his chest and his fingers squeezed at her hips while she braced herself over him. “Fuck.”

“Goddamn, you feel so fucking good,” Negan arched up toward her drawing her to whine with the feeling. “For someone not used to a big cock, you sure do take it well. God, I want to come so fucking bad.”

“Then do it,” she gave him the okay hearing him huff when she started to only slightly roll her hips over him. “I want my sexy cowboy to come inside of me.”

“Yeah?” Negan wondered, pressing up on his hands eager to watch her ride him while she started confidently to bounce her hips over him. Allowing her to use his body the way she wanted, Negan lowered his head and kissed over her breasts. The sounds they were making were loud and crude. There was no hiding what they were doing or keeping it hidden that they were enjoying themselves. Feeling his body tensing up, Negan rolled her onto her back again. Her legs wrapped around his waist while he bucked up against her. “Fuck.”

“Fill me up with your cum daddy,” she spoke, urging his lips to hers with his moans vibrating against her flesh.

“I’m going to,” Negan assured her, the vein at the side of his neck bulging when his moans grew louder. Looking down, he stole a look at his cock pounding away inside of her and he felt his testicles tightening up. “Fuck…daddy is going to paint the walls of your pussy with his cum. Would you like that?”

“Please,” she begged of him, her whimpers growing louder with him smacking up against her harder. Winces started to fall from his throat when the throbbing of his body inside of her was felt followed by a warmth. Following through with his thrusts, Negan continued to fuck her and she appreciated that. A lot of guys would stop once they started to come, but not Negan. There was a need to want to draw things out to the very end. His hips started to falter, his breathing uneven when he laid in over her. Once again, he was cuddling up against her after they had sex and she liked it. Stroking her fingers through his hair, she knew that she wouldn’t be okay for the rest of the day but she didn’t care. Negan hadn’t pulled out of her, he was just lying in over her having that bonding moment he seemed to long for.

“I fucking love you,” Negan grunted, his head lifting up to show the redness that had flushed into his face. There was something different in his eyes and he shook his head.

Reaching out, she stroked her fingers over the side of his face and led him to kiss her. Their kiss lingered before she sighed and nuzzled her nose in against his, “I love you too.”

“Fucking good. Because I was starting to wonder if I was insane for the way I was feeling,” Negan turned onto his side, urging her to follow his movements with her leg still draped over his waist while he grew soft inside of her. “I don’t want to keep pretending anymore Y/N.”

“I get it,” she replied, stroking her fingers over the side of his face and into his damp hair that was beneath the cowboy hat. “I really do.”

“Then what are we doing?” Negan panted, his eyes searching hers while she swallowed down hard. “I mean, if you choose to be with me, imagine all the amazing shit you could have. A family. That actually loves you and wants the best for you. Think of how when we’re working together, no one will question it at first and I can go down on you while you are working in your office…”

“You don’t have to keep selling yourself Negan. I want to be with you,” she silenced him with a laugh, stroking her fingers through his hair. Pulling his hips back allowed his cock to pull from her body and she let out a surprised sound when she felt some of his release dripping from her body and sliding down her thighs. “I don’t let people come in me Negan. I trust you. I want what we have here.”

“Then let’s get the fuck out of here,” Negan suggested lifting his head up enough, his wet hair in his eyes after the cowboy hat fell from his head. Sweeping his hair out of his face, she sighed loudly and shrugged her shoulders. Grabbing the hat again, she put it back on his head and heard him snicker. “What is it?”

“I think you’re right that I made a mistake coming here. My family wasn’t worth all of this, but…” she slid her palm down in over the side of Negan’s face, her fingertips tracing through his short beard. “I actually think Beau needs this. I’ve already made plans with Beau last night to try to make this Christmas better for him.”

“Beau?” Negan repeated his son’s name, the emotion in his eyes changing when she brought up his son. “What do you mean?”

“We talked last night while you were watching movies with Erin and my family. He really misses his mom. And he misses the way things were with her when he was younger,” she informed Negan, feeling the warmth of Negan’s breath pressing in over her pulse point when he faintly kissed at her sensitive flesh. “He gave me a list of things that he wants to do while he’s here and I promised him we would do all of them.”

“Wow,” Negan muttered, his hazel eyes gazing over her while he hooked his fingers with hers. “You’re worried about my son?”

“I am,” she nodded her head, being honest with her emotions that had been fueling her yesterday after talking to Negan’s son. “The two of us have a lot in common and he just wants to remember what it felt like to be with his mom for Christmas. I can’t give him that, but I want to bring as much magic that I can into his life as I can. I’ve been without my family for so long and I don’t know…”

“I love you,” Negan breathed out, lowering down just enough to press a loving kiss over her lips that took her breath away when he pulled back. “Hearing you talk about my son like that reconfirms for me everything I was already thinking about with you. And you think staying here will do that for him?”

“I think so,” she informed Negan, sliding her fingers up over the side of Negan’s neck. Stroking her fingers at his flesh, she didn’t know if she was overstepping, but she felt like this needed to be done. “I made a promise to him. A few of the things are silly, but doable. He wants to make sugar cookies with his sister. And be messy with it. He wants to go ice skating and he wants to build a snowman. In a day or two, there is supposed to be a big storm. So we’ll be capable of doing the snowman. He wants to go to the main town and see what they have there. There is this wooded walk they have a little while away from here. I was going to run to the store today. Get a few things for a project I want to do with Beau today if you are okay with it. Maybe we can go to town, walk around a little bit and then do the sugar cookies before bed.”

“I like the sound of that,” Negan crawled back in over her, peppering her with kisses until the point they were both giggling by how silly he was being with his kisses. “How are we going to tell Maggie and Glenn?”

“Carefully,” she replied knowing that in order to have a good few days they would have to still keep things from Maggie and Glenn. “Let’s make it to Christmas. Keep things on the downlow until then so we can make things good for Beau and Erin. Then after Christmas, we can kind of drop the bomb. And if we’re kicked out before New Years? Then so be it. But you’re right. What I feel for you is pure. It’s real. I don’t want to waste this.”

“Okay,” Negan agreed, nuzzling his nose in against hers before letting out a sigh. “Then that’s what we will do. I’ll gradually put the brakes on things with Maggie. Start breaking is slowly, but you have to understand during these events, it’s you that I want to be with.”

“I do understand that,” she noted, lifting up to kiss him again. While she thought that they could have given Beau what he wanted if they left and ran off to New York, she thought maybe having her family around for the two children would be good. Beth was fun. Her dad and her stepmom would likely pamper the hell out of them and that’s what they needed right now. Cuddling in closer to Negan, she nuzzled her nose in against the side of his neck and pressed a faint kiss there. “I have to admit something to you.”

“Yeah?” Negan pulled his head back enough making her laugh when the cowboy hat he was wearing fell over his eyes. Tossing the hat aside, Negan grunted and couldn’t help but smile with her laughter.

“I’m freezing,” she alerted him, lifting her head up to stare out at the door that was partially opened to the barn.

“Noted,” Negan grunted, looking down between them realizing that while they were still pressed up against one another, it was still really cold. “My ass and my testicles are really feeling that cool burst of air coming through. And it’s…well…maybe a different version of blue balls that might happen soon.”

“Dear God,” she groaned out, shoving her hand into the center of his face hearing his snort follow.

“I’m serious,” Negan laughed, nodding down toward his chest. “It’s so fucking cold my nipples are hard right now. Look at them.”

“I see,” she slid her hand up to pinch at his nipple before sitting up enough to circle her tongue around the flesh. Giving it a small nip had him groaning out before she shook her head. “We should stop while we’re ahead.”

Moving in beside her, Negan reached for his boxer briefs and his pants that were down at his ankles to pull them back up over his long legs and over his slender hips. Thinking things over, she cleared her throat when she reached for her panties and her pants. “I’ve got nothing to clean myself up with.”

“And that’s a problem?” Negan growled, his thick eyebrow arching in amusement when he slid in beside her palming up and over her thigh. “I like my cum marking you.”

“I would have never guessed,” she shuddered when Negan’s lips captured hers again drawing her to tip her head back to allow him to kiss her. When his tongue brushed against hers, she gasped when his fingers traced over the length of her sex. “I’m going to have to shower this morning before I do anything.”

Holding his hand up, Negan reached for the jacket that he had pulled off earlier. Digging into the pockets, he pulled out a pack of tissues and tossed them to her, “My allergies suck this time of year so I always carry those on me.”

“Smart,” she commented noticing the way that Negan grabbed her panties and she huffed. “You can’t steal my clothes again Negan.”

“Of course I can,” Negan held the material up watching her attempt to grab them and he shook his head. Pushing her panties in his back pocket had a warmth flooding into her cheeks. “These are mine.”

“You’re a pain in the ass,” she commented, cleaning herself up while Negan continued to get dressed. “You’re not kidding when you say you come a lot.”

“I’m a pretty honest guy,” Negan replied back with a laugh, shrugging his shoulders when he spoke. “I’m a perfect breeder. I have a big dick. I come a lot. My cum is healthy. My sperm makes pretty babies. I’m good looking. I have the cutest fucking dimples…”

“No one strokes your ego better than you Negan,” she continue to get dressed feeling Negan sneak him behind her to snake his arm around her hips. Picking her up, he peppered kisses over the side of her face and heard her laughter filling the air.

“Tell me I’m wrong,” Negan muttered against her flesh, nipping faintly at her earlobe when he cuddled her close.

“I can’t,” she responded with laughter, her hands meeting Negan’s to give them a tight squeeze. Once they were finally fully clothed, Negan dropped back into the hay and got comfortable. Wiggling his fingers out at her, he motioned her to come to him. Lowering down, she sat between his legs with her back pressed against his chest. Wrapping her up in his arms, Negan cuddled his chin in over her shoulder and held her close to him. “Are you typically the kind of guy that steals women’s panties after you’ve slept with them?”

“Not really,” Negan snickered, the warmth of his breath tickling against the side of her neck. “Maybe I’m just proud of my moments with you. But, think of it this way. After you move in with me, these will belong to you again.”

“Oh, that’s a plus,” she rolled her eyes, resting her head back further against his chest. “Did you do that with Maggie?”

“Which part? Steal her underwear?” Negan grumbled causing Y/N to laugh out loud. “I can’t say that I did. Nor have I done a lot of things with Maggie that I’ve done with you. I don’t want to shame your sister because I can’t. I’ve had my wild years too. But your sister I think…is a lot more experienced than you. In terms of she’s obviously been with a lot more people and she’s not as innocent. Which is totally okay, but you, your reactions to everything are so special and you enjoy everything so much.”

“I see,” she tried to hold back on the amusement that she had with Negan’s answer. “I’m glad you enjoy sex with me more than Maggie.”

“I’m glad I do too, but it’s not just about the sex with you,” Negan promised, kissing over her jawline and letting out an amused sound. “You have to understand, the sex is great and it makes me happy to be able to pleasure you like I do, but I just feel this connection with you. There is just something so much more between us than I’ve ever felt with Maggie.”

“We should probably get moving,” she suggested allowing Negan to wrap her up tightly in his arms once more to give her a big hug. Standing up slowly, she reached for Negan’s hand to help him up. Stepping before him, she placed her hand in over the center of his chest and looked up at him with big eyes. “Are you sure about this? Everything you feel is real?”

“Everything,” Negan assured her with a wink. Stroking his finger in underneath her jawline, he urged her to look up at him and he shook his head. “I love you. As crazy as that makes me. When you know, you know. I promise you, after Christmas…when we’re together, I’ll be everything your family wasn’t.”

Lowering down, Negan claimed her lips in a long, drawn-out kiss that had her falling in closer to his chest. When they separated, Negan nuzzled his nose in against hers. Holding her for a moment longer, the sound of the door creaking was heard and before they had time to react, it was being pushed open.

“Hey dad,” Beau’s voiced filled the old barn when he entered it, stopping in his tracks when he saw how close Negan and Y/N were. Almost immediately both of them stepped back from one another, Negan’s hands pushing into the pockets of his jacket and Y/N lowering her head to look down toward the ground. “Maggie is looking for you. They made breakfast for everyone and they were coming to get the two of you.”

“Thanks buddy,” Negan felt his heart hammering inside of his chest when he noticed the way that Beau was gazing back and forth between the two of them. It was an awkward situation for Beau to come in at, but he was thankful it wasn’t during one of their kisses or something even worse. Clearing his throat, Negan stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Beau to give him a big hug. “It’s good to see you this morning. Did you sleep well?”

“I think maybe we should have that discussion at breakfast,” Beau pulled away from Negan’s hug, pointing back toward the horses that were in front of the barn. “I think you two might want to put the horses away before Maggie finds the two of you.”

“Good idea,” Y/N stepped forward rushing out of the barn, going for Dakota while leaving the two of them alone.

“I uh…I can explain,” Negan lifted his hand, pointing out toward Y/N while Beau stood before him with his big hazel eyes. “You see, we were just…talking and…”

“Dad,” Beau interrupted Negan, pointing back toward the horse that Negan needed to help Y/N with. “I’m not asking questions. If you want me to know something, you’ll tell me. Until then, do whatever you have to do.”

“What does that mean?” Negan noticed the expression that Beau was giving him. Simply shrugging his shoulders, Beau turned on his heel and then went to go help Y/N with the horses. In that moment it felt like the world was spinning around Negan and he wondered if his son knew more than he was actually giving off.

----

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[dedalvs]

Would it be reasonable to use a mirative as a way to say that you "ended up doing X" like saying "I ended falling asleep" or "I'll end up getting sick"? I'm having a hard time confirming anything about how languages encode intention, or the lack thereof. After some thinking that's what I came up with, though, but I dunno if I'm just reachinga bit too much with that.

Sure? If it makes sense in your language.

I'm going to pull out a paragraph from the article on mirativity on Wikipedia that I believe helps to illustrate one of the central problems conlangers face in interacting with linguistic research:

As you can see, there's a back and forth here involving Aikhenvald (because of course) and the one who proposed the category of mirativity (DeLancey) and others. In my opinion, the entire argument is f*cking ridiculous and is best settled by asking, "Who tf cares?" It reminds me of the Wikipedia article on the hortative that has red flags at the top saying, if I may paraphrase, "Uhhh...wtf?"

In short, both linguists on either side of this argument believe there's a trophy shelf called GRAMMATICAL CATEGORIES where certain features may sit proudly with their name emblazoned on a plaque above the name of the linguist who discovered it. On the one side, you have DeLancey saying, "Mirativity deserves its own trophy with my name on it!" On the other side, "No, what you've discovered can be encoded with other grammatical strategies, therefore it doesn't deserve its own trophy, and you get your name on nothing!"

Meanwhile, languages do need to have a way to express things like "We ended up going to the slam dance protest after all" and "He's apparently really good at juggling mosquito hawk wings", so what does it matter if either of them get a trophy on the shelf or not?

For a conlanger, what matters is how your language is going to express these meanings. It is not the case that you have to unambiguously express every shade of meaning without resorting to complex explanations. If we could do that we wouldn't have fiction. Part of the trick with learning how to create a conlang that feels more natural (whether you're going for a naturalistic conlang or not) is that the majority of meaning are expressed with non-dedicated morphological constructions.

For example, if you look at everything as morphemes, then there should be a morpheme for everything. If you want to turn a statement like "John is giving a fish to the flower" into a question you simply take your question morpheme and stick it somewhere. But look at English!

STATEMENT: John is giving a fish to the flower.

QUESTION: Is John giving a fish to the flower?

No morpheme there at all but a little switcharoo with the word order. Some linguists and a lot of conlangers want to get all galaxy brained and say "MAYBE THE WORD ORDER CHANGE IS THE MORPHEME", and, indeed, maybe the real conlang is the friends we made along the way, but a better way to look at it is we use what we have to express new meanings before creating something new.

So, if your state zero is you have something that express mirativity (i.e. surprise at some state of affairs), then, hey, why wouldn't use that for "it ended up that"? It's kind of surprising if you end up doing something. It's running counter to your expectations. Sure! If you want to get all "my eyeglasses put on a pair of sunglasses" on it then you can have your genunine-shock-mirativity suffix and your we-didn't-intend-to-but-it-happened-anyway-mirativity suffix and someone-told-us-it-would-happen-but-we-didn't-believe-them-but-then-it-happened-but-we-weren't-dismayed-mirativity suffix, etc., etc. If you keep going down that road, though, you end up with there's a unique word for every possible thought, and you end up with an ultimately unlearnable and unusable language.

In short, you do you. As long as you can explain it and it makes sense to you, then it works.

[therhythmafterthesummer]

Camping with Wolves (M) ~Lee Know

Pairing: Werewolf!Minho x Human!F.Reader Themes: Supernatural/Fantasy AU | Smut | Fluff | bit of Angst | Best Friends to Lovers Warnings: pet names (kitten/baby/babe/etc), pining?, unashamedly pushing the soft!Minho agenda, mentions of divorce, mentions of panic attacks, mentions of blood and violence, graphic depictions of intercourse (smut warnings under the cut). Word Count: ~11k | AO3 Summary: Minho was your rock, he was your anchor, your best friend, which was why you just couldn’t stop yourself from falling for him, even when he was, essentially, a supernatural being. One ‘camping trip’ might be the last push you needed to finally confess. Or maybe not…  [This story takes place within the It’s Cold Out universe, meaning it’s part of my WereRoomies series].

Author’s Note: the werewolf brain rot is real y’all… i just wanted more soft werewolf content, so here this piece is. anyway, if you’re reading this, hope you enjoy, and if you do, don’t hesitate to leave your thoughts~

Due to all the abovementioned warnings, this story is intended for an adult audience only. Minors please do not interact.

Minho’s WereRoomies Instalments: Camping With Wolves · Dog Unleashed · Are You There, Wolf?

Smut Warnings: this is all really soft, you have been warned. lots of praising, fingering [F.Rec], nipple play [F.Rec], unprotected penetration [piv] (this is a piece of fiction in which you can trust people when they tell you they’re clean. wrap it irl please i beg you), cum on body/cumshot.

Disclaimer: the story represented in this work does not represent Stray Kids in any way; anything described in this story and all actions performed by the characters are purely fictional, this was created just for good fun.

You could still remember quite vividly the day you met your best friend. It was a turning point in your life, so how could you not remember it. Moving to a new place after your parents divorce was probably the last thing you wanted to do. Your life had been turned upside down the moment your dads sat you down at the tender age of ten and told you ‘sweetie, there’s something your father and I need to tell you…’, and suddenly you were packing your bags and moving to the other side of the country.

New town, new places to see, new school, one less dad to greet in the mornings, and zero friends.

Your first day of school had been a blur of introductions, comments of ‘wow you’ve got two dads?’ and ‘you’re from where?’, and honestly by the time the day was over you were just ready to leave the building and hole up in your room for the rest of the week.

It’d been just as you were making your way home from school that you saw him. A boy, around your age, with long, black hair, crouched by the side of the road with a box in his hands, trying to put something in it. You’d never been too sure why you went close that day, you weren’t exactly a social butterfly, but something compelled you to walk close to the boy, and the closer you got, you could finally make out what was it that he was trying to put in the box, and you couldn’t help but gasp at the sight.

“What happened?!” Was all that came out of your mouth back then.

“Dunno… Just saw them here like this”, he side-eyed you a bit, but went back to try and put the clearly injured kittens in the box. “If you’re gonna stand there, at least help me out. Can’t leave them here”.

So you sprung into action, helping him put the little babies in the box, and even going as far as to going with him to the closest vet you could find–all led by the boy of course, after all, you’d just moved in and had absolutely no idea where you were standing.

“Ah, Minho–” The person at the entrance greeted him as soon as you two had come through the door, their face changing from that welcoming smile to slight surprise as they saw the box in his hands. “Dear heavens, what happened?”

“Dunno. Found them like this. They look hurt. Can you do anything?” The boy, Minho, you presumed, by the way the person at the counter called him. They hurriedly came from around the counter and took a quick look at the kittens, then at you both, offering a smile–a bit of a forced one, but you figured they were trying to not alarm you both too much, considering your faces were surely full of worry.

“I’ll have Mrs. Jung have a look at them as soon as possible, hm? Should I register the appointment under your mother’s name?”

Minho nodded, and just like that the person took the box from his hands, disappearing behind a door on the side of the room. With a sigh, he took his backpack off and moved to sit on one of the chairs by the waiting area, and again, for some inexplicable reason, you did the same, sitting next to him for a bit in complete silence.

You truly were never one of spending time with strangers like this, but when you got a chance later in life to analyse your behaviours at the time, you came to the realisation that you simply didn’t want to go back home that day, that you were trying to escape the fact that you had to go back to a new house without one of your fathers and be completely on your own until your other father came back. Which was why, that day, you couldn’t stop yourself from turning around to the boy, and attempting to start a friendly conversation with him.

“You do this often?”

He turned to look at you, with his eyes a bit wide in surprise, almost as if he couldn’t believe you were talking to him. “Do what?”

“Bring injured animals? They know your mum’s name, don’t they?”

“Ah, mm”, Minho nodded, turning to look back to the floor. “Mum’s a vet tech. And since I’m a magnet to finding hurt animals, I’m a regular here”.

“Mmm…”

You both were silent for a while, just hearing the odd beep of a machine in the distance, until Minho squirmed a bit in his seat, turning his whole body to look at you. “I’m Minho, by the way. Never seen you around before… It’s a small town”.

You introduced yourself, and explained that you had just moved in. It went on like this for a while, just you two talking as you waited for the vet to come out with news. You’d learnt that day that Minho was indeed your age, he had two cats and two dogs at home, he knew one too many facts about dinosaurs, and that he never missed one episode of Kamen Rider. It was interesting how, in contrast to his resting face, when he talked to you he didn’t look annoyed at all, and by the time the vet came out and informed you two that the kittens were fine, but a little dehydrated and that they would need to stay the night, you had learnt more about this boy next to you than any other classmate you ever had.

“I’ll be here tomorrow after school to check on the cats”, Minho said as soon as you stepped out of the clinic. “You know, in case you… Wanna see them again…”

You couldn’t help but give him a smile, hiking your bag further up your shoulder. “I’d like that. Maybe I’ll… Keep one. Always wanted a cat”.

“They’re great company. You won’t regret it!” And the smile that made its way onto his face as he said it could’ve easily outshine the sun. You had no other option but to believe him. “Can I… Uh… Walk you home, maybe? It’s kinda late…”

So you accepted his offer, and back then, you couldn’t have even imagined how that simple encounter would kick-start your lifelong friendship with Minho. 

Interesting thing, how someone could become such an integral part of your day to day life that the second something wasn’t quite right, it was very hard to miss. 

Since you met him, Minho and you had been inseparable. You ended up adopting one of the kittens he’d saved–Sir Percival of Camelot, you’d called him, because you liked the eccentricity of it all. Your father wasn’t exactly thrilled to have a cat at the time, but in his post-divorce guilt he just didn’t have it in him to deny you the wish, so Sir Percival and Minho became your best friends in this new town you had barely any knowledge of, and for their company, you were immensely grateful.

Minho and you would hang out every weekend, sometimes even a few times a week after school just to watch his precious Kamen Rider together, or just to play with Sir Percival, but Saturdays were solely reserved for you and him.

One Saturday, though, Minho didn’t make it. There’d been no phone call, no voice message left on the machine, no prior comment of ‘might not be able to make it’, nothing, and even though your father tried his best to assure you something simply must’ve come up, you couldn’t help the feeling of dread that was quickly building inside of you.

It wasn’t until later that day, at around midnight that you got the phone call. You were already asleep, it’d been your father who’d picked up, and as soon as the call was over he had immediately come to your room, to where you and Sir Percival had been cuddled up sleeping on your bed.

“Sweetie… Wake up, dear…” Your father caressed your hair softly, but there was urgency in his voice, and it had you stirring awake almost immediately. As soon as he saw you open your eyes, he spoke again. “Minho… He’s had a… A terrible accident”.

He might as well had shoved a harpoon through your heart. You’d never had a panic attack prior to that night, but the entire chain of events certainly led to one, and your father did try his best to calm you down. Ultimately, he’d hugged you tightly and asked you ‘would you like to go to the hospital?’ to which you obviously said yes without a second thought.

You’d never forget the sight of Minho’s mother that night, with her eyes red and puffy, and her hands slightly shaking as she waited for the doctors to give her any news on the state of her one and only son. You could still remember how tightly she hugged you and your father when you went to the hospital that night. ‘They found him by the edge of the woods, hurt… Bloodied–’ the poor woman could hardly speak, and honestly, you couldn’t blame her, even you weren’t able to produce a single word back then.

The sight of your best friend, of your dearest Minho all intubated and hooked up to machines in that hospital bed plagued you for months, even after he eventually woke up, seemingly fine, as if nothing had happened to him at all, as if he hadn’t almost died. To this day, you were still grateful you were there that day when he woke up, that you were able to hug him tight and cry on his chest as he softly patted you on the back confused out of his mind because he couldn’t remember anything that had happened.

Life went on as normal after he was discharged from the hospital, he’d continue to rescue animals whenever he could, he’d continue to go to class without further eventualities, he’d continue to take care of his pets, to watch his shows, and every day you’d ask him ‘you sure you’re okay?’ to which he’d only scoff and reply a ‘hundred percent’. 

But of course, he wasn’t a hundred percent. It wasn’t until a couple of weeks after that you both finally saw the full damage of his accident. It happened at night, on one of your Saturday hangouts, you were having a sleepover, and your father trusted you both enough to stay home alone on your own, even if you were only pre-teen kids–not the safest choice, you’d admit.

You were hanging out as normal, watching the latest Kamen Rider episode, when suddenly Minho tensed where he was sitting next to you on the sofa, and he started gasping for air. To say that you were scared out of your mind was an understatement, and the fact that Sir Percival was all puffed up and had started to hiss uncontrollably at him didn’t make it any better. All of a sudden, among the pained groans and cries of your friend, strange sounding pops and cracks started to resonate in your living room, and in utter shock you saw your dear friend Minho inexplicably change shape, from his normal self to… A wolf.

Back then, you couldn’t even move, you just stared at it–at him?–as Minho thrashed around your living room in a panic, knocking several portraits out of place and making Sir Percival run away and hide. It wasn’t until you called for him, your voice barely audible for you to hear, that he finally stopped moving, turning to look at you. His eyes were the same, the same dark brown irises that you’d come to know as your best friend’s eyes, and the canine whines that came out of his throat pulled at your heartstrings unpleasantly.

If you hadn’t seen his eyes you might’ve not done what you did that night, but as soon as you saw them, as you heard his pained sounds, you just moved closer, slowly, scared he’d go into a frenzied state again. As soon as you were in front of him, you just kneeled, ignoring any and every single warning bell going off in your head as you looked at the wolf, because deep down, you knew this was your friend. Your Minho.

So you hugged that goddamn wolf that was suddenly standing where your friend used to be, and you felt as he almost relaxed fully into your hold as you whispered an incredulous ‘what the hell’s going on?’ You hugged him for a long time, until you started to hear those same pops and cracks that you heard before, giving way to your friend’s human form again, naked, looking at you with panicked eyes and tears in his eyes.

“I remember…” Minho sobbed as he held your shoulders and looked you in the eyes, and you couldn’t help the tears from running down your cheeks as you heard him. “I remember what happened. There was a wolf… Huge one… It attacked me, it bit me… What’s going on… What am I gonna do…”

You just couldn’t bear that look in his eyes, the tremble in his voice, the tears that wouldn’t stop, so you pulled him to you, hugging him tightly, all as you tried your best to be there for your friend, to reassure him, even if every single word that came out of your mouth did so between hiccups and sobs. “We’ll figure it out… Together, Minho. Together, huh?”

“No… You shouldn’t be close to me, what if I–”

“Together, I said”, you just hugged him tighter. Minho was your friend, your anchor, and there was no way that you would let him deal with this–whatever it was–on his own. “Don’t push me away please…”

“I should…” But even as he said it, Minho held you tighter.

Trying to get your living room looking normal after that was a bit of a challenge, but once you both calmed down and you fished some of your father’s old clothes for him to put on you managed to do that fairly well, so much so your dad didn’t even notice anything different the next day–maybe due to the exhaustion his night shift had brought him, you’d never know…

Minho started to change a bit after that situation. He grew taller, stronger, and his senses heightened, especially his hearing. Minho was able to hear things kilometres away from him, and it contributed to a period of crankiness in his life, where he would snap at people or be a bit harsher than usual–not to you, though. He always tried his best to not snap at you, and whenever he did, he always apologised almost immediately. 

You started to change a bit, but not in any supernatural way, just in a normal, human puberty way. It was normal, your father had told you back then, and as all these new changes started happening in your body, both physically and emotionally, you started to see your dear Minho in a new light. Suddenly, whenever he hugged you your cheeks would heat up, whenever he laughed because of one of your jokes your heart would flutter, and whenever you were watching TV and a couple kissed on the screen you couldn’t help but wonder how it’d be to do something like that… To do something like that with Minho.

You reasoned it was normal, Minho was the only boy you had around you at the time, so obviously you would think these things sometimes. It meant nothing, for sure. He never really seemed to show any interest other than being your friend, and that was fine. You were fine with that. Having him with you, however it was, was truly all you ever needed.

There were some challenges, though. Minho had all these weird symptoms and behaviours now that he had been turned into what your research had told you was a werewolf. You both couldn’t exactly go to anyone and tell them ‘hey, remember that accident Minho had a handful of months ago? Yeah, about that…’ because, realistically, who would believe you? The universe, though, worked in your favour, because one day, when Minho had come to pick you up from your after school class to walk you home, another boy had approached you.

“Hey, excuse me…” You recognised the boy from your school, a couple of years younger than you, and when he approached, Minho’s eyes went wide in surprise, almost as if he recognised him somehow. “Are you… You’re a werewolf, aren’t you?”

“Who are you? And why are you asking such weird questions?” You couldn’t help but intervene, always feeling oddly protective of your friend and his… Condition.

The boy flushed a bit, but he looked you in the eyes regardless. “I’m… Jisung. And I’m asking because at first I thought it was you. I’ve been… Building up the courage to come and ask, so we could, you know, maybe help each other out? I don’t know that many people at school, but only now that I saw you together I realised I was smelling him on you”.

“You’re… You’re a werewolf, too?” Minho was slightly incredulous, stepping a bit closer to you. “Is that what I’m smelling on you? A werewolf scent?”

“You can’t tell?” Jisung furrowed his eyebrows, confused, but then he gasped, looking slightly alarmed. “Were you… Were you born as a werewolf at all?”

Minho just shook his head. “Was attacked. Now I’m like this”.

“Oh, God!” Bringing his hands up to his head in alarm, Jisung almost threw his beanie off of his head with the motion. “You have no pack?!”

“Nope. Just have my mum, and my friend here”,  Minho draped his arm over your shoulder, pulling you to him. He’d been doing this often these days, keeping you close to him when someone came too close. You didn’t mind much, but it did make your heart stutter, which you conveniently always decided to ignore.

Regardless, Minho was right in his statement. He didn’t have many friends, he’d had a couple of friends throughout the years but they usually fell through, you were the constant, just like he was your constant. Funnily enough, Jisung also didn’t have many friends, or any at all, so he naturally gravitated towards you two after that day, and, in a way, you liked that. Mostly because he was able to help Minho in ways you never could.

Jisung helped him understand how to take care of himself as a werewolf, how to control certain urges and how to fulfil certain needs. He started joining you two on your Saturday plans, and your father was honestly happy that you were making other friends, too. Sir Percival, on the other hand, had a hard time getting accustomed to the two werewolves coming in and out of the house. He liked Minho enough, because he recognised what he’d done for him–or at least, that was what Minho told you Sir Percival told him–but the addition of Jisung had him a bit on edge.

Especially because, for some reason, Jisung was… Affectionate, to put it simply. He liked to cuddle. A lot. And he would often try to get Sir Percival to cuddle him, or he would try to get Minho to cuddle him, or he would try to get you to cuddle him, and honestly you were usually the only one to cater to his needs, so at some point he started coming to you directly.

You didn’t really mind, but whenever he left earlier than Minho then he also wanted to cuddle, and you never truly understood why, but you let him anyway, mostly because you… Liked cuddling with Minho. As friends, of course. Always friends. Just friends.

So you spent a couple of years like this. With your two werewolf friends, with your mildly grumpy cat, facing the hardships of high school along with the hardships of their supernatural condition. Until Jisung broke the news that he had to move out, because his pack was moving out, and since he was so young he just couldn’t make the decision for himself, he had to leave.

You could still remember the day he left. You cried a bit, you’d admit, even Minho was holding back a few tears as he hugged his friend, just as Jisung offered a ‘this isn’t goodbye, we’ll meet again. I’m sure of it’. And as you saw him walk down the road, Minho pulled you to him, hugging you tightly against him.

“Just you and me again, kitten. What are we gonna do now?”

You just chuckled, pulling away from him a bit to look him in the eyes and wipe some of the tears that were still clinging to your lower lash line. “Kitten, huh?”

“Of course!” Minho said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world for him to use such a pet name with you. “You’re a cat person, aren’t you? And I’m a… Dog-person, heh…”

Groaning, you slapped him in the chest. “That’s such a bad joke, honestly. Why do I keep up with your shit?”

“Because I’m your favourite person in this world”, he swayed your bodies back and forth, waddling you back towards your house. “And I’d be your favourite animal, too, if it weren’t for Sir Percival”.

All you could do back then was laugh, because he was right. He was your favourite person in this world.

‘People usually grow apart, sweetie. It’s a normal thing that happens’, your father had told you once, and you believed him. But funnily enough, that never happened to you and Minho.

Sure, you moved out of your hometown after high school to pursue higher education somewhere else, while he moved out to do exactly the same–his goal of becoming a vet was still one of the most oddly amusing things to you, considering he was close to being an animal himself. You both made new groups of friends, dated different people, took different career paths, but even then, you still kept in touch. Even if you had grown and matured, in essence, you were both still the same.

Minho had finally found a pack of his own, right after he reconnected with Jisung. The second he moved into their den he invited you over and you met his entire new group of friends, his new family, and you couldn’t have been any happier for him. They were all so nice and welcoming, and you quickly found out that Minho had become one of the main pillars of his pack, something that, somehow, was and wasn’t surprising in equal parts. 

On one hand, it was because you were so used to Minho The Loner, Minho the boy who only had you and Jisung, that knowing he now had other people to care for was surprising. But on the other hand, Minho was so caring, so protective, there was no doubt in your mind that he’d be able to protect these people well, especially when he cared deeply about them. Just as he had done with you throughout the years.

You two tried to meet at least once a month, and most of the time it was you who drove to his place, staying over in his flat as you recounted anything you hadn’t talked about in the past thirty days, all as Kamen Rider played in the background, a show that Minho was still to this day attached to–and you couldn’t blame him, the thing was entertaining and it didn’t seem like they’d stop pumping seasons anytime soon.

Jisung would join you often, too. Demanding attention and cuddles just in the way only Jisung knew how to, and the rest of his pack soon followed once they warmed up to you.

You could still remember the first day Minho introduced you to his pack’s leader–or ‘alpha’, as they called it. Chris was nice, he greeted you with respect, and Minho had told you after that he was the one who had to ‘allow’ people staying here, even if they were just visiting. So you figured he thought you were nice as well, considering you frequently stayed over.

As the years went by you saw more werewolves join their pack, Seungmin, Felix, Hyunjin, Jeongin, and eventually, even humans as well when Chris got himself a new roommate–his now girlfriend. The last person you saw move in here was Changbin’s roommate, also now his girlfriend, and they all seemed to take care of each other really well, they all worked together to keep their small ecosystem going smoothly, and it was honestly refreshing to see.

It made you feel happy for Minho, who seemed to finally have a full, loving family of his own. Not like his mother wasn’t family, she just didn’t know–or couldn’t know, as Minho put it–what he was, and that, coupled with the fact that she had apparently remarried an asshole–had unfortunately put a bit of a strain on his relationship with her.

“I have news, kitten”, Minho said, plopping himself on top of you on the sofa, not caring in the slightest if he crushed you, the sudden weight on your chest making you groan.

“Can’t breathe”, was all you mustered, so Minho shuffled, laying on his side and wrapping his limbs around your body to pull you closer to him.

“Better?”

“Yeah”, you just sighed, turning to bury your face in his clothed chest. “So, news?”

“Yes”, Minho rubbed his cheek on the top of your head, and you could’ve sworn you heard him mumble a ‘God, you still smell like Jisung’ before he cleared his throat and continued talking again. “Remember how we always talk about the monthly camping trips and how I’ve always wanted to take you and you’ve always wanted to come, but Chris’ never let us because ‘it’s too dangerous’?” He added the last bit with a poor imitation of Chris’ voice, making you laugh.

“Yeah, how could I not remember”, you couldn’t help yourself from inhaling deeply, getting lost in the smell of Minho’s fabric softener, on the smell of his body wash, on his natural scent, and–God, you really shouldn’t let your thoughts wander like this, not when he was this close, not when you knew you liked your friend… More than a friend.

You’d always known. How you felt towards Minho. Even if you’d dated other people, you’d always known. You always just tried to ignore it. But these days, whenever you met after spending long periods of time apart, you just couldn’t stop your mind from wandering into that dangerous territory… Into the What-Ifs. What if I told him? What if I kissed him? What if he kissed me? What if we fu–

“Well, I’ve finally gotten him to agree”, the smile was almost audible in his voice, and it made you pull away from his chest to look him in the eyes.

“Really?!”

“Really, really”, Minho’s hold around your body tightened even more. “So, hope you can get your friend Mar to take care of Sir Percival for a bit. I don’t think he’d like being surrounded by nine wolves”.

You couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought. “Oh, he’d hate it. He’s too old for that. So when’s this trip of yours?”

“In a couple of weeks, you think you can make it?”

“Hm. I’ll make it”.

“When you said you went camping every month, this wasn’t what I had in mind”, you couldn’t help but say the moment you pulled up into the house, or should you say mansion? “This place is huge”.

“Did you think we were literally sleeping in the woods?” Seungmin yawned, rubbing sleep from his eyes when you turned to look at him from the passenger’s seat.

“I mean, isn’t that what camping is? Whose house is this anyway?”

“Chris’”, Minho replied simply as he started parking. “It’s the only thing his grandparents left him after they passed. Since he had a pack of his own, they figured it’d be useful. And it is, but it’s also a pain to upkeep”.

As soon as Minho was parked, Seungmin and you stepped out of the car and opened the boot, taking out the many bags and backpacks from there so you could get them into the house. Changbin’s and Chris’ cars arrived right after, and soon enough, everything was placed securely within the living area or in the kitchen–the latter exactly where you were in right now, getting the many containers of food into the refrigerator with Minho, just as Hyunjin busied himself washing an assortment of cups, plates, and glasses.

“Which room can I take?” You asked once everything was put away in its place.

“You’re staying in mine”, Minho replied simply, chewing on a piece he’d taken off of a baguette.

“And where will you be staying?”

Minho blinked slightly, swallowing the food in his mouth. “In my room. You’re staying with me”.

“What?” It wasn’t like you hadn’t slept within the same room as Minho before, you’d done it plenty of times. But since your… Acceptance of your feelings, you weren’t sure you’d be able to share such an enclosed space without losing your sanity–or worse, confessing your feelings.

“One of Chris’ conditions”, Chris’ girlfriend explained from where she was sitting on one of the kitchen stools, taking a sip of her glass of water.

“Can’t I stay with you?” You asked her, pouting slightly.

“Not unless you want to sleep with me, too”, Chris chimed in as he stepped into the kitchen, wrapping his arms around his girlfriend’s waist just as she offered him a bit of her water, which he immediately took a sip of.

“Why wouldn’t you want to stay with me? I’m offended”, Minho said in a mock hurt tone, serving himself a glass of water as well. “Besides, wouldn’t recommend staying with these two. They’ll surely fuck even if you’re there”.

“Hey!” Chris was also clearly pretending to be offended, bringing a hand to clutch his chest. “I can behave”.

“Baby, you and I both know that’s not true”, his girlfriend chuckled, patting him on the chest as she made her way to the sink to give Hyunjin her glass.

“I can!”

“Christopher, darling, dear angel, don’t lie to yourself like this. You’d have one look at our dear mother’s child bearing hips and you’ll lose it”, Minho pointed at him, trying to sound like those cheap ‘life coaches’ on social media. “It’s okay to admit you have a problem, we’re here for you”.

Chris gasped, bringing a hand to his mouth. “For the record, I don’t have a problem–”

“That’s right, you don’t”, Chris’ girlfriend added, with a teasing smile on her lips. “You’re just shameless”.

“That I am. I mean, can you blame me? Just look at your hips… At your everything, damn…” Chris gave his girlfriend a look from head to toe, staring for maybe a bit too long, until his girlfriend mustered a ‘see? Shameless. Utterly remorseless’, making him snap out of his trance, bringing a sheepish smile to his face. And then, finally, he turned to you. “Minho’s right. You’re better off staying with him. With that being said, let’s get everything ready, the sun will set soon”.

As it turned out, ‘getting everything ready’ meant making sure there were plenty of robes ready by the back entrance where the pack would come back through, filling an insane amount of jugs with water, and having the food ready for them to just pop into the microwave once they were back. Jeongin, Felix, Changbin’s girlfriend, and Minho got busy with this, while the rest of you took the reminder bags that were left in the living room to each room.

You left your belongings and Minho’s for last, and when you opened the door to his room you could’ve almost fainted. There was one bed. You were going to have to share this bed with Minho for at least two nights and you honestly weren’t sure how you were going to survive that. On one hand, that meant you’d get to cuddle, one of your favourite activities to do with your best friend. On the other hand, you’d get to cuddle, which was the worst thing you could do when you were harbouring feelings for said best friend.

For the time being, you decided to ignore this, since the sun was setting and the pack would surely leave soon. So you left your bags there, and made your way back downstairs to find everyone already going through the back door to the backyard. 

Minho spotted you right as he was taking his shirt off, a sight you certainly didn’t need, but you wouldn’t shy away from anyway. “Ready for your run, doggy?”

Minho scoffed, unbuttoning his trousers. Your eyes followed the movement, and your face went serious immediately. Thankfully–or regretfully, you couldn’t decide–he left them on. “Don’t look at me like that, kitten. I might think you want to see me naked”, he was only teasing you, just like he always did, but he was so close to the truth you were finding it incredibly hard to not look guilty. “When was the last time you saw me in my wolf form?”

“Uhhh…” You honestly couldn’t recall, or maybe it was hard to when you were too focused on not looking at his chest. “Probably before we finished high school? Which, now that I think about it, is kinda weird, isn’t it? It’s been a long time. Why do you ask?”

“‘Cause… I don’t think you’d be calling me a doggy if you’d seen me recently”, whatever response you had for that got caught in your throat as soon as you saw his eyes shift, turning from that brown you knew so well to golden, glowing a bit more intensely the more the sun set.

Minho stared at you, right in the eyes with his golden ones. It lasted probably just a few moments, but it felt like an eternity, until he finally spoke again, a bit slower than usual and with a low tone that had the hairs on the back of your neck standing on end. “I’m gonna take these off”, he took a hold of his zipper, and it was almost as if he was challenging you to keep looking. But ultimately, you were a coward, so you turned around.

You heard the characteristic sound of the zipper opening up, then you heard the rustling of fabric, and finally, you started to hear the pops and cracks you’d come to know as the sounds of his human body shifting into his wolf form. Soon enough, you started to hear the same sounds all around the backyard, and you knew the rest were also doing the same.

After a while, you felt warmth behind you, not really on you, but close enough for you to feel the huffs of breath against your back, so you turned around, coming face to face with your best friend. And you honestly weren’t prepared.

You’d seen Minho in his wolf form plenty of times in the past, but admittedly you hadn’t seen him since you entered adulthood, much less with this golden glow in his eyes. His fur was the same, the same shade, the same pattern, but he’d grown. In his human form, Minho wasn’t really considered a tall man, but like this, he was certainly bigger than any wolf you’d ever seen, and you couldn’t stop your eyes from going wide in surprise and a soft ‘wow’ from leaving your lips.

In his eyes, you could almost see his amusement, almost as if he was laughing at your reaction. Coming close to you, Minho nudged your hand with his nose, and you immediately brought that same hand to his head, petting him, scratching behind his ear affectionately, and a smile immediately made its way onto your face. “You’re still a doggy to me, you know?”

Minho huffed, somewhat annoyed, you figured. Giving your hand an affectionate lick, he turned around walking towards the rest of his pack that were already gathering by the edge of the woods. Suddenly, you felt warmth close again, and you gasped as an even bigger wolf walked past you. Chris, probably, since his girlfriend was walking right behind him, and she stopped next to you to look at the rest.

Once Chris reached the edge of the woods, he turned around, pacing a bit, getting the full attention of his pack of wolves. As soon as he was seemingly satisfied with their positions, he howled, triggering a chain of howls from the other wolves, until finally he turned back towards the woods and took off, the rest following soon after.

And just like that, they were gone.

“Well, just you and me for a few hours, then”, Chris’ girlfriend turned to you, giving you a small smile. “Wanna hang out here, or you prefer chilling on your own?”

You gave her a smile in return. “Let’s hang out”.

The moment the pack came back, it was all a blur. The group was usually chaotic, but it seemed like the run had made them even more so. Everyone’s eyes were glowing golden, some more intensely than others, but they were, and they explained to you that it was the influence of the moon, that it’d probably wear off once they all calmed down or by the time the sun was back up in the sky.

The kitchen was crammed with everyone trying to get themselves stuffed full of food. It was all heartwarming, in a way. Very homely, just like any time you’d seen them all interact together, and they even made their best efforts to keep you included in the conversation, which you appreciated immensely.

At some point, Minho left the group, only to return a handful of minutes later, out of his robe and into his usual pyjamas–a loose vest top and loose shorts. The second he stepped into the kitchen, he shushed everyone, bringing the attention to him, just as he brought his hands up.

“Time to pay up, losers. Mummy and Daddy are fucking”.

There was a mix of groans and cheers, and it was only then that you noticed that Chris and his girlfriend weren’t there. They’d never come to the kitchen at all, and you couldn’t help but laugh as you saw the group exchange tenners, until finally Minho, Jisung, Changbin, and Felix split the jackpot.

“Man, I really had hopes for them”, Changbin’s girlfriend commented as she took a sip of her drink, giving Changbin a dirty look as he waved his winnings on her face.

Felix snorted at that. “Please, did you see how Chris was running towards the end of the run? I knew we’d won immediately”.

The rest of the evening went on like this, joking, talking, just overall having a good time, and by the time Chris appeared in the kitchen to get two plates of food, looking as if he had just won Millionaire, only Felix, Seungmin, Minho, and you were left.

“Gonna go to bed”, you murmured to Minho just as Seungmin started teasing Chris about his escapade.

“Going with you”, his eyes were still glowing, and by now he was probably the only one whose eyes were still glowing–you couldn’t really tell, since some of them left earlier before the effects of the moon had worn off.

As you made your way upstairs, and freshened up for bed, you were reminded of your earlier predicament. The shared bed. Honestly, by now, you were so tired you could hardly care at all. You’d push through, just like you always did.

Tucking yourself into the covers you let out a sigh, enjoying the soft sheets on your exposed limbs, waiting for your roommate for the night to come back from his trip to the toilet. You’d push through, you reminded yourself. Minho was your friend. Your best friend. You’d slept with him a million times, it’d be fine.

As soon as the man in question made it back to your room, he switched off the light and plopped himself on the bed, making it bounce slightly, and you couldn’t help but chuckle. 

“So, did you have fun with our dear pack mother? Was coming to our ‘camping trip’ what you’d expected?” Minho wiggled under the covers, turning to look at you.

“I did have fun with her, she’s nice”, you regarded him with a smile. “It wasn’t exactly what I expected, but wow if it isn’t an experience, huh?”

“It is”, Minho chuckled, smiling so wide you could barely see his eyes, but that little bit of them that you did get to see was still glowing gold, and you just had to comment on it.

“Why are your eyes still glowing?”

Minho shrugged, moving a bit closer to you. “A lot of werewolf shit going on right now with the moon, it’ll go away eventually”.

“Mm”, was all you could muster before you yawned, stretching your limbs a bit only to turn to your side, away from Minho. “Gonna sleep now, g’night”.

“Aww, c’mon”, you felt Minho move, and then you felt warmth, warmth on your back where he was almost pressing his chest to, and warmth on your waist where he had thrown his arm to wrap around you. “Let’s cuddle a bit, kitten. Hm? Pretty please?”

“Ugh, get off, you big dog. You’re too warm”, you couldn’t help but whine. Contradicting your words, though, you took his hand that was lying around your waist and clutched it to your chest, keeping him in place.

Minho noticed, because of course he did, so he chuckled, clearly amused, further pressing his chest to your back. “Let go of my hand, then. So I can move away”.

You were silent for a bit, softly running your thumb on his palm. He let you, just like he always did. “Don’t wanna…” 

It was warm, he was warm. He always was, he’d always been since the day he turned, but even if it was stupidly warm under the thin covers, you still wanted him close to you. Because Minho was comfort, he was safety, and tonight you wanted just that, even if you would turn into a puddle of sweat right then and there.

“Mmm…” Minho’s hum vibrated against your shoulder, where he had been keeping his mouth pressed since he moved closer to you. It wasn’t uncommon for you two to be this close, you cuddled often. Platonically. Or at least, you were convinced it was platonic.

There was always that tiny voice in your head telling you to yank the cork you had stuffed in your heart, to let your true feelings free, but what if you did and Minho didn’t feel the same way about you? Your friendship might be ruined. Although, realistically, you knew Minho wouldn’t treat you any differently, he was that type of person, and you’d probably get over your feelings after that imminent rejection.

“Lift your head up a bit”, Minho said suddenly, so you immediately did as asked, feeling as he sneaked his arm under your neck, curling around your frame to pull you even closer to him, admittedly turning your heartbeat up a notch. “You think Sir Percival’s doing alright?” His lips brushed on your shoulder with each word, and your body was quickly betraying you, goosebumps rising under his touch and heat quickly pooling in the pit of your stomach with just the mere feeling of his lips on your skin.

Swallowing thickly, you gathered your bearings, answering as steadily as you could. “Mar sent me a picture of him earlier. Wanna see?”

“Mmm… I do”, his hold on you tightened the slightest bit. “But your phone’s too far away. Don’t want you to move from here…”

“Always so needy, huh?”

Minho chuckled at that, moving a bit so he could talk in your ear, almost whispering. “Bold of you to say, when your heart’s about to leap out of your chest, huh kitten?”

Caught red-handed. Curse his supernatural hearing… Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath, trying to ease all the different burning sensations coursing through you–nervousness, anticipation, lust–they felt like so many it was really hard to tell exactly which one was the most prominent. You had the full intent to reply, something snarky to get him to shut his mouth, but your mind suddenly went blank when you started to feel Minho’s lips on your skin again, pressing slow, tender kisses on your shoulder, and the motions had you tightening your hold on his hand that you were still keeping close to your chest.

The action wasn’t uncommon, either. Just as you cuddled often, you also kissed like this often. Platonically.

Platonically… Right? Was it platonic? It must be, you were just friends after all. Best friends. The bestest of friends.

“You know… Maybe Chris was right”, Minho mumbled between kisses after a while.

“About?” 

“It… Is dangerous for you to be here”.

You couldn’t help but scoff. “Why would it be? I’m fine. Nothing’s happened”.

“Mm… Yet”, Minho’s mouth travelled from your shoulder to your nape, leisurely kissing there, too, and your brain was close to shutting off completely. “The moon… Guess I… Underestimated what it’d do to me with you here”.

He was being a bit cryptic, which wasn’t uncommon when he talked about his lycanthropy, so you wanted to inquire further. “Minho?”

“Mm?” With a deep intake of breath, Minho sighed, almost in the same way you sigh after getting a whiff of your favourite meal, and the action had saliva pooling in your mouth. “Shit, you never believe me when I say it, but you do smell good, kitten. Always do…”

The shiver that ran up and down your spine was impossible to miss. Minho always told you that, you always brushed it off as him teasing you, playing with you, but right now, with how low his voice was, with how deep it got, you couldn’t help but believe him. 

“You know you… Are my favourite person in this world, right?” He murmured against your skin, and the featherlight touch of his lips had your head spinning a bit.

So you decided to poorly attempt to divert the conversation. “What about Jisung?”

Minho chuckled softly, further pressing his chest to you, holding your thumb in his fist as you still kept his hand to your chest. “Completely different feelings”.

“How so? Isn’t he also your friend?”

Minho was quiet for a while, just mindlessly pressing kisses on your skin, until finally, he removed himself from your space, removing his hand from your tight hold with ease, only to push on your shoulder to get you to lay on your back as he hovered over you, propped up on his elbow. The sight of his glowing golden eyes had you almost shivering as he stared deeply into your eyes. That look was raw, intense, and your heart truly felt like it was about to leap out of your chest when he looked at you like this.

“You’re much more than a friend to me. You know that, right?”

You just looked back at him, holding his gaze as best as you could. And as you struggled to do so, you were reminded that, at the end of the day, Minho was still a predator, and even if you trusted him with your life, your body would have a natural, instinctual reaction to his stare. Ultimately, you couldn’t help yourself from moving your gaze away, focusing instead on that mouth of his, on his pouty lips that had plagued your dreams for nights on end, slightly chapped tonight but still just as delectable looking as ever.

“Kitten…” Minho was trying to get your attention back to his eyes, but you just didn’t want to look away, enjoying the way his lips moved with every word that came out of his mouth. “Why are you… Why are you looking at my mouth?”

If there was one certain thing in this world was that Lee Minho was going to be straightforward at any given moment, and this moment–whatever the moment was–was clearly no exception to that rule.

You didn’t say anything right away, just absentmindedly licked your lips as you shamelessly stared, catching the sight of his Adam’s apple bobbing in your peripheral with the movement. “Just thinking…”

“About?”

“Things I should not be thinking about”.

The tension was palpable. Or were you imagining it? It certainly felt tense to you, but not in an uncomfortable way. You could see how taut his body was as he hovered over you, and as you kept looking at his lips, there was nothing you wanted more than for Minho to make a move. Or should you make a move instead? Maybe you should. But would you be able to deal with the consequences of that? Maybe not. 

It was then, when you were having that struggle within yourself, that you saw his lips move, that you heard him. It was only a whisper, but you were sure you heard him, the sound registering a second too late, a quiet ‘fuck this’ before his lips were on yours, and you couldn’t help the embarrassing sound that escaped your mouth the second his skin made contact with yours.

Heat spread quickly within you, your mouth moving on instinct to match Minho’s almost desperate movements. Even if his lips were slightly chapped, that was the last thing you could care about, you’d get them moist, that was no problem at all. Moving a hand to the back of his head you pulled him further into you, revelling in the groan that escaped his throat the moment your nails lightly scratched his scalp.

Shuffling a bit above you, one of Minho’s legs found its way between yours, his thigh pressing against your core to add the tiniest bit of delicious pressure where you were desperate to feel him most, all as he sneaked his tongue into your mouth. If you were letting out the most embarrassing noises, you didn’t care, not when you could feel him hard and warm against your stomach, not when all you cared about was Minho and his hands on your thigh and his tongue in your mouth and his lips on your own.

“We should…” Minho started to talk, all between pecks of his lips, and it honestly didn’t seem like he wanted to stop kissing you at all. “Should talk about this”.

“We should”, you agreed, also refusing to stop kissing him, starting to shamelessly grind yourself against his thigh, the groan that left his lips as soon as you did adding to that desperate need in your gut. Your hands found their way under his shirt, feeling him up. His lower back, his abdomen, his ribs, his chest, and your touch made him shiver slightly.

Detaching himself from you for a second, Minho took a hold of the back of his shirt, tugging it off of him, only to immediately return his mouth to yours, kissing you desperately, eagerly, the bed sheets pooling back behind you two with the motion. Your hands roamed his body, hungry to feel him. It wasn’t like you had never touched him before, but never had you touched him like this, so intimately, so needy.

“Stop me”, Minho pleaded as his lips attached to your neck, sucking and nibbling on your skin, eliciting whines from your mouth, his hand travelling all the way from your thigh to your ribs, holding you tightly in place.

“No”, you replied confidently, because you genuinely didn’t want to stop, not when you finally had a handful of his bum in your hand, not when it all felt so right, so easy, and natural.

“Shit… You… Want this?” His lips returned to yours, almost stealing the air straight out of your lungs with the sheer intensity of his kiss.

“Want you. Only ever wanted you, Minho”.

Minho groaned, his hips lightly bucking into you as soon as your confession reached his ears. “Talk later?” 

“Later”, you nodded in agreement, slightly breathless as you felt him tug on your top, removing it from your body. You could talk about it later. You didn’t want to stop now, not that you knew how his lips on you felt like, how his weight on you felt like.

As soon as your top was off your body Minho’s hands were on your tits, kneading the supple flesh with his hands. “You’ve got no idea how much I’ve wanted to do this, fuck… These pretty tits of yours, shit…” His fingers started to tease and tweak your nipples, making you whine against his mouth, making you further press against his thigh. “Sensitive here, huh?”

“Minho, I swear to a God that doesn’t exist, if you don’t get my tits in your mouth right now…”

“Don’t boss me around”, removing himself from your space again, Minho hooked his fingers under the waistband of your shorts, taking them down and off your legs along with your underwear. Slotting himself between your legs, his fingers found your core, lightly teasing your clit just as he swore under his breath. “If you boss me around you’ll trigger my alpha instincts, is that what you want?”

“What if that happens–” Your words died on your tongue as soon as he started drawing circles on your clit. You couldn’t help but moan, bringing a hand to your mouth to try and muffle yourself as much as you could, considering the rest of his pack was also in the house. 

“Don’t act all innocent on me now, huh? You know exactly what I’d do. And I bet you’d love it, too”, regardless of his pretence banter, his lips closed around one of your nipples, licking your sensitive bud into his mouth, the motions sending sparks of pleasure right down to your core just as he dipped a finger into your entrance.

Minho’s attention on your chest coupled with his digit moving in and out of your core had your mind soaring, had your mind suddenly blank of anything other than him and you on this bed in this room. The more his tongue licked your skin, the more his teeth nibbled your chest, the more fingers he stuffed into you, the more you wriggled under him, whining desperately under his motions. Your hands held onto the bed sheets and his hair to try and keep your mind in the moment, all as you tried your best to not let a single sound out of your mouth louder than you should.

When he was four fingers deep into your cunt, when his thumb started to draw circles on your clit, you just couldn’t wait anymore. You were on the edge of your orgasm and you were feeling desperate for it, but you also had the intense need to feel him within your walls, for him to stretch you with all of him, so you reached for his crotch as best as you could in this position, feeling him up, and your eyes snapped open just by the feel of it.

Minho’s lips released your nipple with an obscene sound, all for him to further buck into your hand as he looked into your eyes, his brows furrowing slightly and his teeth sinking on his bottom lip to muffle a groan. It wasn’t like you hadn’t felt him before. There had been occasions… Occasions you both had silently decided to ignore, times when you might’ve woken up cuddled up, and he was suffering the effects of morning wood, but you never let yourself dwell on it too much. Now, though, and enhanced by the fact that he clearly wasn’t wearing anything under his shorts, you were able to feel him completely, and you felt saliva suddenly pool in your mouth.

“Minho…” Swallowing thickly, you tried to feel as much of him as you could. “You… I mean…”

“It’s just… One of those alpha things, you know? Why do you think I got four fingers into you right now, kitten?” He emphasised his words by hammering his fingers harder into you, making you whimper. “Trying to get you ready. Don’t wanna hurt you”.

“Fuck… Is this what turning before puberty did to you?” With shaky hands, you hooked your fingers on the waistband of his shorts, the pace of his fingers slowing down a bit as Minho curiously eyed you. There was some resistance, but when you finally got the garment down enough, you almost whimpered at the sight. “Shit… Even your cock’s pretty, huh Minho?”

Minho chuckled at that, slightly incredulous, but you noticed the blush that spread over his cheeks, and you couldn’t have felt more satisfied. Wrapping your hand around his length, you let out an appreciative hum, stroking him leisurely, enjoying the heavy feel of it in your hand. And before you could say anything else, Minho was back on you, kissing you eagerly, hungrily, making you breathless with his tongue in your mouth and his fingers in your cunt.

“Want you…” Was all you could mumble between kisses, relishing the groan that escaped his mouth as you did.

“Shit, wait”, Minho pulled his fingers out of you, moving away from your mouth to look at you. “There are no condoms in this house”.

The alarm was apparent in his voice, and it rubbed off of you. “You got all kinds of supernatural shit here and you got no condoms?”

“We don’t come to this house to fuck, babe. What do you want me to say?” Minho chuckled, moving away from your space altogether. The sudden lack of his body heat was unpleasant, you wanted it back, desperately. Which was probably why you spoke your next words.

“Are you clean? I am. Haven’t had sex since we went to that place to get tested like… Dunno, months ago”, the implications of your question hung in the air, and Minho’s mouth went slack.

Swallowing, he brought his hands to your thighs, softly caressing your skin. “I am. Also haven’t had sex since then”.

“In that case if you… Uh… If you don’t mind then we can… If you want… You know”, Minho knew you had an implant. Hell, Minho practically had your menstrual cycle memorised, he was the one to save you multiple times throughout High School when you didn’t even know your period would come, always keeping extra pads for you just in case. And even in present day, he had gone with you to get the damn thing put in a handful of months ago, so of course he knew.

If there was anyone in this world that knew anything about you was Minho. Your best friend Minho. Your best friend Minho who you were about to let fuck you raw. And the thought had your mouth watering, you’d admit.

“Shit, are you being serious right now?” Minho leaned into you, and you couldn’t help but take a deep breath as you felt the tip of his length on your bare skin, just as he looked you in the eyes. You nodded, you didn’t think you’d ever been more serious about something in your life than right now. 

“Holy–Am I dreaming or what? Damn… You… Shit…” Taking a hold of his length, he lined himself with your entrance, making you tense in anticipation as you felt his bare skin on yours. “Gonna go slow, okay? Don’t wanna hurt you, hm?”

Minho took his time, going in slowly, letting you adjust to him, and you couldn’t help but furrow your brows at the stretch, biting your lip to suppress a whimper. “Shh, it’s okay…” He mumbled against your cheek, pressing soft pecks on your skin. “Breathe, baby…”

“Mmm, baby…” You mindlessly mumbled back, trying to focus on the feel of his lips on your skin instead of the sting between your legs.

“You like that? Me calling you baby, huh?”

“I do–” Your breath caught in your throat when you felt Minho’s hips flush against you, when he bottomed out, swallowing almost loudly at how full you felt. “Maybe embarrassingly so…”

“No need to feel embarrassed, kitten. I like calling you baby, too”, he looked you in the eyes, taking you in. Slowly, you saw how the golden glow of his eyes dissipated, leaving his brown irises behind. Bringing a hand to cup your cheek, his thumb softly caressed your skin, and you suddenly felt yourself flush under his heavy gaze. “You’re so gorgeous, huh? And cute. Pretty. Always… Only ever wanted you, too”.

“You did?”

“Hm… Still do”, he confirmed before leaning in, pressing his lips to yours to kiss you again, slowly, sensually, and you couldn’t help but clench around him when he did, making him chuckle for a moment as you kissed.

You just held onto him, caressing the planes of his back, feeling the goosebumps that rose on his flesh under your touch. Even when you could feel his bare skin against yours, his bare skin within you, you couldn’t even believe this was real, it was happening. You were lying here, with your best friend’s cock buried deep within your walls, kissing him, and your mind was almost spinning, dizzy with that realisation. 

You needed Minho to move. If he didn’t move soon you feared you might actually die right there out of the intense need you felt for him, so you rolled your hips, murmuring a soft ‘move, babe’ against his lips. So he did, starting a slow, borderline teasing pace, working you up, letting you get used to the movement.

“Fuck, I like when you call me babe, too”, he looked you in the eyes, picking up his pace. “Love the way your cunt’s hugging my cock, baby, so good… Been dreaming about this, too, you know? How you would feel, and it’s so, so much better than I could’ve ever imagined”.

“You–You were?”

“Mm, I was”, sitting back on his heels, Minho threw one of your legs over his shoulder, the change of angle made it so his cock grazed that sensitive spot within your walls, making you curl your toes and see stars with each thrust of his hips, and the second his thumb pressed on your clit, you knew you were too far gone, panting heavily at the onslaught of sensations that Minho was bestowing upon you.

“Promise I’ll go harder later, hm? I know you want that, for me to ruin you”, you didn’t think you could flush further, but you felt heat on your face, and your belly tightening with the words that came out of his mouth. “But I want it like this now, kitten. Wanna enjoy you like this. Is that okay?”

His thumb on your clit sped up, and you almost choked on your words with the sudden change, even when he was still thrusting slow, but deep. You simply nodded, eagerly, holding his gaze confidently as that knot in the pit of your stomach got tighter with each and every one of his motions. “Just want you…” was all you could muster as your hand reached to softly caress his abdomen, feeling his muscles tightening and relaxing with each thrust.

“Mmm… So beautiful”, removing his thumb from your clit he brought it to your lips. “Lick it, baby. Make it as wet as you can for me, hm?” So you did, coating the tip of his thumb in your saliva only for him to return it to your clit, for him to start quickly rubbing circles on your sensitive bud, making you throw your head back with the sudden onslaught. 

“Minho, babe… Please, want to…” 

“Come on, baby… Give it to me, wanna feel you…” With a few more flicks of his thumb on your clit, you finally came, bringing your hand to your mouth so you could muffle the desperate moans that were about to come out of your mouth, relishing the heat you felt course through your body as Minho kept fucking into you.

With the effects of your orgasm, the rhythm of his hips was becoming more and more erratic, his face contorting in pleasure as he chased his own release. Reaching for the hand he kept on your pubic bone after you came, you placed your hand on top of his, bringing his attention back from where he had been looking at his cock disappearing between your walls to your eyes. “Want you to come on me, wanna feel you, please…”

“Shit, kitten…” Taking a hold of your hips, Minho held you tightly, giving you a diluted taste of that strength you knew he had but he was holding back on, of that strength you were surely going to beg him to release on you later, just as he gave a few more thrusts, working himself up closer to his climax.

In one final swift movement, Minho pulled out of your heat, wrapping his hand around his length and bringing himself to completion right on top of your abdomen, and, biting on his bottom lip to dampen obscene sounds of his own, he finally came, thick ropes of his cum soiling your torso, all the way from your navel to your tits. It was so much, you knew werewolves were biologically different from human males, but you were surprised at the amount, the sudden warmth making your head spin, making you wonder how it would feel when he came inside of you, in your cunt, in your mouth… 

Breathing heavily, Minho looked down at you, his eyes raking your form, covered in his seed, a flush settling all the way from his chest to his neck. Immediately, he was on you, kissing you deeply, mumbling words of ‘so, so pretty covered in my cum, so pretty…’ between pecks of his lips that had you flushing impossibly further.

Moving away from you, he took a hold of the first garment he could find, using it to wipe his cum off of your body, throwing somewhere right after only to finally plop down next to you, still panting a bit and staring at the ceiling. You did pretty much the same, lying there staring at the ceiling, but you did reach for his hand, interlocking your fingers with his, revelling in the way he held yours tightly in his, just as a comfortable silence fell between you two.

After a while, Minho spoke. “Did you mean it?”

You turned to him, looking at his side profile, looking at the relaxed expression on his face. “Mean what, baby?”

“Only ever wanted me?” Minho turned to you, with a soft smile on his lips, giving your hand a squeeze.

You felt yourself blush, but you smiled at him regardless. “Mm… Only you, baby”.

“Me too”, letting go of your hand, Minho pulled you into his arms, hugging you tightly against his chest, and you could only melt into his embrace, inhaling deeply, basking in his presence. “I’m glad you came with us today. Was a bit worried at first, but now… Now I’m super glad you came, honestly…” He mumbled against your hair, and you couldn’t help but chuckle.

“You’re just happy you got laid”, you were joking of course, teasing him a bit as you caressed his back.

Minho laughed at that, bringing a hand to your rear to fondle one of your buttcheeks. “Only ‘cause I got laid with you, dummy”.

Chuckling, you draped your leg over his hip, pushing on his shoulder to get him to lay down and for you to straddle him. Looking down at him, your hands dragged all the way from his shoulders to his pecks, squeezing him a bit before they continued their path to his abdomen, the motion bringing a smirk to Minho’s face. “Did you mean what you said earlier?”

“What exactly? I said a lot of things, kitten”, Minho’s hands came to your waist, dragging all the way down after to fondle your hips.

“That you were gonna go harder later?”

“You do want me to ruin you, huh? Shameless”.

You chuckled, shuffling a bit so you could press yourself to his length, and your eyes went wide and your eyebrows rose high on your face. He was hard already, and the surprise must’ve been obvious on your face, because Minho simply shrugged, moving his hands to cup your bum. “You do smell so good, and the full moon is not making it any easier on me, cut me some slack”.

“Minho, babe, listen… And I mean this seriously. It’s important”, Minho went serious, looking at your face intently, giving you his undivided attention. “I need you to fuck me in every possible way you can and more, I’ve been waiting too long. If you don’t I might actually die”.

Minho scoffed, smirking as he tightened his hold on your rear, making you squeal with the sudden movement, with the strength of his hold. “Oh, kitten… Baby, you have no idea what you’ve just asked for. Good luck trying to stand up from this bed tomorrow when I’m done with you”.

Author’s Notex2: if you’re curious as to why Chris looked like he’d just won Millionaire when he came down to the kitchen, you can check out Love is Easy.

if you want to read more of this couple, check out Dog Unleashed.

© therhythmafterthesummer 2022-2023. all rights reserved. do not repost or translate my stories.

Constructive feedback (or even keysmashes, really) is always welcome :)

Minho’s WereRoomies Instalments: Camping With Wolves · Dog Unleashed · Are You There, Wolf?

[vitaminseetarot]

PAC (Pick-A-Candy): February's Message For You ❄🕯

Hey y'all, welcome back! Thank you so much for playing in my first tarot game. I'm so glad to have the chance to reach out to everyone for inquiries. Thank you so much for your feedback as well! I'm still reading through your responses and feel grateful for all the positivity. There have been a lot of delays throughout this month and I haven't had as much time as I'd like to be on here in January, but I'm itching to pick up the pace in February. I'm planning another game in early March, topic to be announced, so stay tuned.

I wanted to start this month with a short and sweet pick a card reading to give you advice. For anyone celebrating this time of year, may you enjoy this time of peace and recovery and maybe some really tasty snacks with hot cocoa too. Pick whatever chocolate below looks most appealing to you. ❄🕯

Pile 1: Bronze Toffee Nut Pile 2: Silver Milk Chocolate Pile 3: Gold Dark Almond

Pile 1: Bronze Toffee Nut

Land:Tree:Sun, King of Mechanisms: Heliacal Chronograph, 26 Duality, King of Swords, XII Hanged Man, XV Devil, 7 of Swords, 7 of Wands

Hey, you! Did you recently complete something big or reach a major milestone in your life? If so, congratulations! Your efforts are paying off, if not now then over time they will show. But first, before doing or planning anything else, you need to sit down for a little while and just… breathe. Breathe deep. Replenish your mind from harrying so much over all that you have had to, have to, or will have to do (that was a mouthful, so I can't imagine how much clutter that is in the brain! Also I channeled the word "harrying" which I never use and had to look it up lol, but the word definitely still fits). Now is not the time to push, but a time to breathe and reflect.

You're in a time of transition, and this could mean many things. It could be a move or a job transfer, or you're thinking of how to change your way of living. I'm feeling that many in this pile are still actively working towards their New Years resolutions. Some in this pile may have had a very busy year, while others here wish to shift gears and become focused on doing more, a lot more than last year. Are you trying to make up for lost time? It's only February, pile one, so you have way more time than it seems to get things straightened out or set into motion. You're not creating a time debt by using your break or time off to actually self soothe, like most people do. Your tenacity is admirable, but in terms of self development, too much push to get things done might set you back.

You must balance between resting and recovery, all while strategically planning for your next course of action. Some of you may be struggling to get organized, but making schedules and lists could help immensely, so you're not spending as much energy trying to remember everything. There are also apps that are designed to help you stay on track, giving you more time to just hang out and be. There is nothing wrong with spending this entire month on decompressing from everything you've had to do. It's not going to happen when you're working on something else. That's a distraction, not progress, to work as a way of avoiding healing. However you decide to relax, make sure it actually involves relaxation. If that means laying in bed and watching TV for the day, then that's what it means. If you relax more by doing a chore, then make it something simple to complete like folding clothes.

Don't feel guilty for taking time off, but don't let the time slip by either. Schedule "Don't-Do-Much" days and see what kind of difference it makes to your productivity and routine over time. Think of this transition as an intermission of sorts. This is your chance to get up, use the restroom, order more popcorn, text a friend, etc. before getting back to your movie. You can choose not to get up, but once the intermission has passed, the movie will not pause for you. So use this opportunity to rest with intention, knowing that when change comes to thrust you into the next phase of life, it may do so unexpectedly fast and you'll be more ready for it.

Keep your ambitions lit up, because even as you rest, those dreams are still at work. Don't think that time off means abandoning any plans or being lazy. It's a matter of decluttering your mind space so you can actually focus on the next thing better, and you can't drain the brain of all your pain if you replace worry with more worry. Life is more than a series of boxes to tick off, saying "what's next? what's next? huh? what's next? HUH??" right after each one is done. If life worked that way, sleep wouldn't be a thing, and likely neither would we, because how can anything sustain that gogogo fever forever? Protect your right to self care, and don't let anyone tell you it's wrong to take time out just for you.

Pile 2: Silver Milk Chocolate

Spiritual, 7 of Prisms: Flux Tempest, 19 Unlimited Possibilities, King of Cups Rx, 2 of Pentacles, I Magician, 9 of Cups, Page of Wands

You may feel overwhelmed right now, like a lot of changes are happening at once, or could happen imminently. Things may feel topsy-turvy, and it's a struggle just to get through the day to day with all this weighing on your mind. There could be different options to choose from or a lot of emotionally heavy decisions that could be leaving you feeling a bit straggled. It could be a decision to undergo a kind of treatment, or many job offers suddenly come to you, and rather than feeling elated for the opportunities, you're feeling anxious about what to do more than anything.

Many opportunities and risks abound, and although it isn't easy, it's important to spend some time to figure out what you wish to do. We all want to make the best choices in life, but sometimes life involves a good deal of trial and error and retrial no matter how logical and sensible we try to make things behave. A lot of important details can get swept away in the rush to resolve a conflict as quickly and easily as possible. Even when the best choice is made, things can still happen. Life can be pretty random and chaotic at times, in ways not even shuffled cards can keep up with. It's not so much the choosing, but staying committed to the choice, that can be most difficult.

It's time to go within and listen to spirit for guidance. You need some time and space in order to feel this out, not just think it through. Our mind can work all day scoping out each and every pro and con, and that's where meditation comes in. Let the answers flow towards you naturally. When you can embrace the change to come from this choice, rather than fearing it, the way will light up for you and it'll be smoother sailing from here. The seasons will change no matter how long this time out will take for you, but one spring passed means another spring will eventually come again. If it doesn't work out the first time, there will always come another.

You have a heightened ability to manifest your desired outcome this month, and you may find that some things will naturally fall into place as soon as your mind is made up and you let go. Yes, anything can happen, but that also includes good things, it even includes things you have deeply wished for. Envision the best possible outcome first and don't get caught in too many details about how it should play out. We can trick ourselves into thinking that by assuming the worst, we can prepare for the worst. Instead, prepare for the best case scenario for you and you'll be surprised at how much easier it gets to sift out and manage challenges when they do show up.

Keep your mind steady and heart focused on what you want. Remain in a space of enthusiasm for what you'd like to happen. The page of wands is very eager, it's like they have the energy of a little kid pointing to a famous performer on stage and going, "that'll be ME someday!" Not "that could be me" or "ah, if only that could be me," but "that WILL be me." Think of your motivation as a fire that must be tended to on a regular basis. No matter how small or large the flame in your heart is, it will be the light that guides you into making the best decision for yourself. Take good care of it.

Pile 3: Gold Dark Almond

Land:Animal:Moon, Macroscoria, 10 Burden, King of Cups, VIII Strength, King of Pentacles, Knight of Cups, II High Priestess

Your sensitivity and overall empathic ability is high right now. There may be an inclination to feel a heightened sense of compassion for others, particularly animals (you have a lot of animals present in your spread, and Animal:Moon talks about those kind of connections in particular). Animal companions want to help you out this month, whether on the physical or astral plane, so turn to them for healing just as they would turn to you.

Create solid psychic boundaries to protect your mind. A lot of intense psychic energy could be purged through with the Macroscoria card. I'm almost reminded of what's it like to delve through Akashic records (or as I call it the Hall of All Knowledge), but this is a more universal, primal energy coming through? The card reminds me of Earth in its early stages when it was all still molten and predominated by immense fiery tectonic activity, fundamental forces bursting from beneath. Instincts can seem basic, but they're powerful. This energy could be coming from within you most likely, but you could be picking up on others' chaotic moods as well. This isn't a force to fight, but to work in your favor. Anger for example isn't wrong, but there's a right and a wrong way of expressing anger. It's a matter of channeling it into a proper medium.

If you were drawn to pile 2, there may be a message for you there as well, as the King of Cups is in the same position. There's an emphasis on being able to stay present with others with deep compassion while staying emotionally detached. Detachment is not the same as not caring, it's a state that allows you to embody what another is feeling and give them space to feel without losing yourself in it. Try to adopt an observational approach. When you are in a state of experiencing intense emotions, we can also practice the art of "stepping aside" to observe ourselves and learn from these feelings instead of pushing them away.

You and others must remain resilient, as you could be undergoing a challenging time. Don't push the limit though. Lend a helping hand when needed, but remember that you too deserve that same compassion in return. Whatever this challenge is, there is a potential for growth to come from this. This month could bring in a special reward for you, what that is isn't clear but your good efforts won't go unnoticed. It may feel difficult now, but when things start to improve, you'll innately know, and the payoff could be rather big, or more than what you expected. You may feel that many could be leaning on you now for support, but trust that whatever support you provide will in turn be granted back to you.

Observation doesn't mean apathy or overanalysis. It's about sitting and being present with what's happening around you and within you. Mindfulness exercises could help you out a lot this February, along with writing down your nightly dreams or even making a vent journal to scribble out frustrations. Make sure your emotions don't stay bottled or contained or they could burst. Instead, check in every day and find one thing that will help vent out those emotions. Your intuition is your best friend now.

This reading has not been evaluated by the FDA to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease or infection. Please ask your physician before going online.

2024, @VitaminseeTarot ™

[mikey-soft]

forces you to read my absolute brain vomit of an alastor post this is mainly just design notes/reasoning on why i did things, etc!! then a bit of tweaks to his story :3

he's monochrome mostly because it's fun!! it gives cast diversity and i think it fits his character. unlike, for example, vox, who is seen adapting to the times as technology improves, alastor does not. he enjoys the "old fashioned" way of doing things!

on the radio subject, i made him More like a radio!! the dial that holds his tie is what he uses for voice mimicking! his microphone, which i've changed to be more like they were in the 20's, is what projects his voice! hypothetically, if you took it away or broke it, he would be silenced. but al definitely guards this thing with his life.

the microphone it plugged into a port on the back of alastor's neck, but the cord is only visible when someone ELSE is using the mic (which he has only granted to charlie, rosie, mimzy, and maybe even niffty). the cord is 40ft long and usually tied up on his antlers

big change, alastor's "talking" is just his teeth glowing! his teeth only separate to bite or eat! his lips do move, though, albeit only to lessen or widen his smile.

i would like to note that i am completely retconning the voodoo/eldritch horror for obvious reasons. i've decided to go analog! more on that when i feel like it LMAO

about him being mixed, i want to mention something!! as a mixed person!!!: creole is NOT just black!! creole is a mix in itself! anywhore ! :3 alastor was a white-passing man in life! new orleans was one of the better places when it came to racism in the 1890's-1930's, but racism was DEFINITELY still there,, so al being passing really helped with the building of his career(s) (including the murdering career of course). because of this, al was VERY disconnected to his culture, which his mother encouraged. they figured the less he knew about being creole, the more likely he could go under the radar. once he arrived in hell, he presented much more like a man of color. i dont really have much of a particular like... lore reason for this.,, i just wanted to ! :3

that's really the most i can think of right now !! i think about him a lot....,,, so like......,,,, if youre cool ..... you should follow me................. maybe even send me an ask ... aboutg him . .. .... or even art requests....... or somrthing...........................