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#and literally makes me do the most useless busy work imaginable for the sake of ‘it’
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Shinra Propaganda poster for the new comic.
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miraculouscontent · 3 years
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Always.
“Truth” is just... I mean, I want to say “garbage” but that doesn’t even do how bad it is justice? Like, okay, I take four major issues with it (my followers be like: just four? :P):
First is the writing in general and the continuity of it all. This episode looks like it’s been through multiple drafts and the final product is an amalgamation of a bunch of them with no coherency between any of them. I already could kind of guess it from the Adrimi kiss that the finale removed, but it’s obvious that there were going to be Adrimi/Lukanette arcs in Season 4 but then stuff happened (i.e: the staff being cowards) and they got cut. It’s totally possible that the plot with Jagged Stone being the father and Marinette having to keep secrets from Luka were still the same episode even in the original draft, but I imagine it at least wasn’t episode one.
There are other, more subtle hints as well, like the episode giving no time to Luka learning that Jagged is his father (making the fandom wonder if Luka remembered when he was Truth) and Ladybug being shocked when she realizes that the akuma is Luka as if she didn’t already see him be akumatized. Juleka also gets weirdly sidelined in the episode despite being Luka’s twin (Astruc has stated that both Luka and Juleka are older and Juleka got held back, which is why she’s in Marinette’s grade but Luka isn’t), so she’s Jagged’s offspring as well. One might presume that Juleka just never cared at all but that doesn’t mean she shouldn’t be allowed to interact directly with the guy or have any involvement at all. All it would’ve taken is for Luka to mention that Juleka never cared about who their father was but he did, thereby implying that Juleka’s reaction to Jagged would probably be more like, “oh okay.”
You know, if they didn’t reduce her to incoherent mumbling.
Second is the timing of this episode. We had the New York special with Paris being destroyed, but it’s clearly fine here (so I guess it isn’t canon now; thank God honestly), and while it’s technically possible that enough time has passed (supported by the vague implication that Marinette having to miss out on dates with Luka has gone on for a while, given Tom and Sabine’s lack of reaction to them dating), it’s not supported by Marinette examining the Miracle Box as if she’s only just gotten it.
There’s also Shadow Moth, where we’re shown an extended version of the scene from the end of “Miracle Queen” where Gabriel repairs the peacock miraculous, giving the episode a “Volpina”->”The Collector” vibe but then why are the events lining up the way they do???
The narrative also does a really bad job at showing us why Marinette is so strapped for time. She has guardian duties now but you’d think it’d balance out with her not having to go to Fu anymore for guardian training (you know, that thing we never saw but was said to be happening or at least that it was Fu’s intent to have it happen). You could argue that maybe Shadow Moth is more active, but then Chat Noir should be affected by this too; Ladybug states outright that she’s been busy and Chat Noir responds with something akin to, “oh I know, because you’re guardian,” which implies that it’s her guardian duties keeping her busy and Shadow Moth is just interrupting her dates specifically.
But we don’t even see what responsibilities she has added on as guardian. I knew the writers would make it so her being guardian was a hassle, but it’s the first episode of the series and we’ve gotten next to no answers for what being guardian actually adds.
It’s almost like this was a rushed first episode to break up the only thing that unambiguously made Marinette happy for the sake of bringing the love square back and needlessly making her suffer because the writers think it’s hilarious.
Speaking of which, the third thing thing is the comedy because--just--I hate the comedy in this show.
Like, just to start, there’s the kwami, who clearly begin with their mob mentality from the later episode of “Furious Fu” and all proceed to act like children. No, I didn’t expect them to all be wise (I mean, Xuppu exists and is very much not that, having been implied to be a fit for Kim who is known for being a total himbo), but I don’t expect them to all scatter like they do. Kaalki in particular, who was shown to be more poised and refined, blatantly reveals herself to a bunch of civilians just for the sake of Marinette freaking out and needing to make up an excuse.
Same with Alya and her friends. Marinette is panicking because of the kwami and Alya “deduces” (while shading Marinette so blatantly that it’s insulting) that Adrien must be there in her house which--maybe don’t SAY THAT OUT LOUD in case Adrien is literally in her room???). Then Marinette gets a call from Luka, shouts his name, and the girls do a complete 180 in support of Lukentte. It’s not like I’m not for them supporting whatever Marinette wants to do, but the shift is so sudden (and contradicts “Frozer”) that it gave me whiplash and the entire scene ends up being pointless since the girls still go with the “Marinette is in love with Adrien” thing when Truth asks them what Marinette’s secret is. Like, we could’ve gotten small, stupid secrets that everyone thought only they knew about Marinette, but instead it’s just the same thing over and over again (which makes no sense since, by the time Alya blabs the secret - which Alya has already told Nino before anyway - it’s no longer a secret therefore making the answer invalid).
Heck, the whole “secret” thing could’ve even been the people Truth shoots finding ways of answering his questions in a way that is technically telling the truth but also not really, such as if Anarka had answered the, “Who’s my father?” question with, “someone you know/someone famous,” so as to avoid saying that it’s Jagged Stone. It’s just boring seeing characters answer with whatever the asker wants to hear instead of being able to find a way around it.
And then there’s Chat Noir, who’s just--ugh.
Like--okay, I’m going to be extremely petty for a moment and just go off because I hate Chat Noir’s role in this entire episode. The Season 3 finale went out of its way to have Chat Noir be all like, “I have a girlfriend,” when it was a lie, and then Season 4 just parkours around Ladybug telling him that she’s dating (Ladybug clearly took no issue with Chat Noir telling her he’s dating so it’s not like she’s worried about issues there; she’s gotten on his case before in episodes like “Startrain” so there are exceptions) because they want to keep having him flirt and not be sAd because this is Marinette’s episode of suffering and Chat Noir actually having to face the reality that Ladybug is dating (not just in love with someone else) would’ve actually been interesting. Chat Noir gets tons of unnecessary screentime in the episode - mostly for the show to shove in LadyNoir shipping fuel - and then actively avoids telling him the obvious thing because he would’ve actually been forced to grow/develop/stop flirting.
It would’ve been so cute and sweet to see him awkwardly trying to flirt without overstepping boundaries (so more like banter than flirt) or - you know - actually try to support Ladybug and want her to be able to finish her dates by him offering to keep akuma/sentimonsters busy, but no, he’s just left in the dark.
The finale had Chat Noir supporting her (terribly but I digress) and then doesn’t do anything with it at the start of Season 4, meaning his support of her was completely meaningless and just there.
His first appearance is him pranking Ladybug when she’s already overstressed and busy, which comes off as super poor taste and I’m both glad he got splatted into that window for it but also upset because it’s screentime completely gone to waste, and of course it’s just a lead up to him guilting her by being like, “nooo the only thing that hurts me is when you leave me alone during patrol!”
I know he’s teasing (...probably) but it leaves a bad taste in my mouth because we know (well, I knew because I know how this show works) that Luka and Marinette were going to break up because of Marinette’s hectic schedule, so it just comes off as insensitive to joke about it, especially when Ladybug’s busy guardian status just serves as a reminder that Fu is gone.
Even when he’s protecting Ladybug from Truth’s questions by cutting in and asking a question of his own, of course he asks about himself to forcibly fish compliments out of Ladybug because she can’t lie to him, and of course they have Ladybug compliment his humor most of all as if that trait hasn’t nearly gotten them in danger multiple times and she’s been repeatedly annoyed when he decides to joke during the worst possible times. It’s as if the writers wanted to pat themselves on the back for their own comedy, so they had Ladybug be a mouthpiece to stroke Chat Noir’s ego.
He claims he won’t force a truth out of her and then literally forces her to say what her favorite things about him are. I acknowledge that this can be seen as me nitpicking but we went from the finale where Chat Noir actually stepped up and took charge (because Ladybug was stressed but I guess him doing anything useful is just whenever it serves the plot) to this where he’s back to flirting constantly and jamming in as much LadyNoir shipping fuel as physically possible. It’s not that he’s useless but he’s annoying and takes up space in an episode that’s supposed to be about Luka and Marinette.
And that leads us into the fourth thing, which is the break-up and just the treatment of Luka and Marinette in general. I could go on and on about how the Season 3 finale built up their relationship just to tear it down in the first episode of Season 4, but that’s not the main issue here.
Luka brought Marinette comfort. He made her happy. He never judged her. He was happy to just date her regardless of any conflicted feelings she might have because hey, who is he to complain if she wants to give him a try and who knows what’ll happen?
And the season couldn’t even give one moment of them being unambiguously happy without ruining or interrupting it. I was ready for the break-up and I was even ready for it to be the first episode but I wasn’t ready for it to be so bad.
Marinette’s Adrien pictures appear out of nowhere (again, makes no sense for the timeline) when they’ve been gone for basically all of Season 3 and even “The Puppeteer 2″ specifically which makes a direct reference to “Troublemaker,” the episode that purposefully overdid it with her pictures (”Truth” has more hanging up and clearly used “Troublemaker” as a reference, by the way). They’re just there for force the love square and Adrien into the episode as much as possible to remind the audience that Adrien breathes. There is literally no purpose to any mention of Adrien and bringing him up isn’t even relevant to Marinette and Luka’s break-up.
It’s just upsetting to know that the umbrella scene from “Origins” (which is already flawed in and of itself) kickstarts this whole thing. Adrien did basically nothing there except for clear up a misunderstanding and give Marinette an umbrella when his ride was a few meters away and Marinette’s house was just across the street, but that actives Marinette’s absolutely crippling crush on him that lasts for 3-4 seasons. Marinette is in this eternal struggle of not being allowed to grow and change because the writers think her stammering/crushing on Adrien is funny while actively punishing her for having this crush in the first place (again, like in the scene with Alya, which insults Marinette for her crush when she wasn’t even panicking over her crush).
It’s the same with Luka, and I can’t believe that it took me until this episode to realize that he and Marinette are both treated the same way: tormented by episodes for having a crush on someone. Episodes will go out of their way to forcibly insert Adrien into the plot to both humiliate Marinette and make Luka feel awkward when the episode isn’t supposed to be about Adrien at all. “Truth” is just “Desperada 2.0″ except Adrien is barely on screen at all and they still felt the need to name drop him constantly. The writers are so sensitive to the idea of people jumping onto another ship or forgetting that Adrien exists that they’ll find any possible way to include him.
“Silencer” knew better. “Silencer” knew that Marinette’s life didn’t have to revolve around the mere mention of Adrien’s name and that she had other interests/desires/traits outside of him. Adrien isn’t brought up once and it was great because the show didn’t feel the need (for once) to throw Adrien into an episode that he had nothing to do with.
Even if I was a love square shipper, I would feel insulted by “Truth” because one half of my ship kept getting name dropped and used as a tool to humiliate the other half, which makes it all the more eyeroll-worthy when the love square stans of the fandom praise this episode for breaking Lukanette up when--oh, wait, they didn’t even break up “because Adrien.”
And that ends up being the real thing here. The writers had to invent a reason for Marinette and Luka to break up. We already know that Jagged Stone being Luka’s dad is a retcon (not technically in the show’s canon but in information we heard about outside of it), so they shoved in Luka having issues about not knowing his father specifically so that he would be pushed over the edge when Marinette couldn’t tell him about her being Ladybug.
When Luka and Marinette were just together and hanging out, Adrien wasn’t mentioned once. Say whatever about the Adrien pictures being on the wall and Marinette’s stammering (she always says stupid stuff when she panics - especially stuff she doesn’t mean - so I’m not upset with her so much as the writing for having her mess up in that specific way), but the only time Marinette talks about Adrien at all in the episode is when someone else brings him up.
She goes on a date with Luka to the cinema and they were having a great time without Adrien involved at all. I know I already stressed this point in a previous post, but one of the reasons that I find Lukanette to be so amazing is because the show actually focuses on Marinette’s interests and doesn’t force her to be the writer’s mouthpiece for gushing about their sunshine boy a punching bag for comedy. In every Lukanette scene that doesn’t bring up Adrien/before Adrien shows up, Marinette is either praised, able to be happy, or is showing one of her interests that isn’t aDrIeN, and whereas Adrien being on-screen around Marinette usually just means that she’s gushing about/stammering around him with no development, Lukanette features us actually learning more about Luka or other characters.
“Captain Hardrock” - lets her bond with Luka over a shared interest in Jagged Stone, and Luka is established as a sort of empath who uses music as a way to speak for himself
“Frozer” - gets to practice ice skating with Luka, who is actually good at ice skating and also can tie laces despite not tying his own because he’s a rebel
“Desperada” - gets to try out guitar with Luka and we learn that Luka has been playing guitar for as long as he can remember
“Silencer” - showcases Marinette’s interest in fashion and properly introduces Kitty Section; has a plot featuring all of them together doing something not even remotely love-related and we get actual confirmation of Luka’s crush on Marinette, along with Marinette’s reaction (blushy+happy; just saying, idk how anyone could watch “Silencer” and not think that Marinette was crushing on Luka)
“Heart Hunter” - Marinette gets a song written for/about her and Luka is established to have a job
“Truth” - brings up Lukanette’s shared interest in Jagged Stone, features Marinette’s interest in fashion when she gives him a gift she made + had Jagged Stone sign, and shows her raising her voice but not being judged by Luka for it, who’s happy with her just the way he is
When the show focuses on Lukanette, it’s all about lifting Marinette up, praising her, and making her feel good. When Adrien is involved or it’s hyper-fixating on Marinette’s crush on him, it’s about bringing her down and making her feel bad for a crush they keep forcing her to hold onto and humiliating her for.
Point being, the writers had to force their way into getting Lukanette broken up because of their precious love square and the fact that Marinette and Luka being happy is the opposite of what they want.
It’s embarrassing to watch a team full of old white guys (I’m convinced at this point that they just hang their female writer on a coat hanger so they can point to her whenever someone says that their staff is too male-dominated) treat their female biracial lead with such disrespect, and I can only presume that the mistreatment of Luka is because he’s supportive of her and they don’t like that, meaning that the way she’s treated ends up rubbing off on him.
It doesn’t come off as a fun or interesting plot; it comes off as cruel. When Adrien is sad, he usually gets people rushing to comfort him (”Party Crasher,” “Gamer”), but “Truth” has Marinette in tears over the fact that she can’t have a boyfriend due to being Ladybug and the writing has the gall to crack jokes about Kaalki not knowing what tears are, and then Marinette has to ask for the kwami to hug her for comfort.
When Luka gets akumatized into Truth, the episode doesn’t even hesitate at bashing away at him, from everyone saying that Marinette’s secret is that she “loves Adrien” (which, as Truth points out, isn’t a secret, and they could’ve had this somehow lead up to a twist ending where Marinette actually isn’t into Adrien anymore and the Adrien pictures were genuinely for reference, but she stammered about it because it was embarrassing that her boyfriend got sent it with no context) to one of Luka’s favorite songs actually being about how Jagged abandoned him to go on tour. Luka has to deal with Marinette ditching him constantly (not that I blame her) and not knowing who his father is despite wanting to know, and the episode treats him like trash for... what? Having a crush on a girl who’s secretly Ladybug? Because that’s all it seems to come down to in the end.
I also have serious gripes with the fact that Marinette has this huge schedule established in “Gamer 2.0″ and they don’t even try to explain why she can’t use it to keep track of her obligations. The episode has her say (in a roundabout way but still) that she’s forgetting stuff constantly because of all of her emergencies (the emergencies of which are not stated and I hate the subtle implication that forgetting something means you don’t care about it when that’s clearly not how things work and also not what Marinette comes off as because - again - they establish that she’s overworked) but fails to properly explain it. The episode hammers away at Marinette having all these issues and even has Tikki chide Marinette by asking her about leaving Luka alone while apparently neglecting the fact that Marinette HAS to go be Ladybug right now and what else is there to even do??
Both Luka and Marinette are punished for just having a crush and wanting to be together and I hate that the episode forces a break-up instead of coming up with a solution to the problem. Instead of “Marinette isn’t ready for a romantic relationship,” it feels more like she’s just not allowed to be happy.
Long-distance relationships are a thing. Relationships where people don’t get to go on dates frequently are a thing. Instead of forcing a break-up, the episode could’ve had a lesson/development where Marinette is told that she’s allowed to pursue a relationship and just needs to plan accordingly. but they just didn’t want to.
For example: instead of planning dates, Marinette could wait until an akuma/sentimonster is defeated to call Luka and ask him out, because Hawk Moth usually doesn’t strike immediately after one is dealt with. I’m positive that Luka would happily take impromptu/sudden dates over planned-but-inconsclusive ones. Heck, they don’t even have to date specifically and can just stick to phone calls (kwami can’t be picked up on technology) or hanging out in Marinette’s room/on Marinette’s balcony while they do their thing.
Relationships are a commitment, but that doesn’t mean they have to be a burden, and the episode absolutely drags Marinette over it. The whole thing with the kwami being released and stressing her out when they’re not supposed to be able to just come out normally is explained away by, “oh, the new box must be like you, Marinette; full of surprises!” when the reality is just that the show wants to take away everything that’s sacred to Marinette. The Season 3 finale had Fu’s letter telling Marinette that “life doesn’t always give you what you want, but the real gift is life itself,” then proceeds to turn Marinette’s life into a living hell.
Her room? She has to say good-bye to her privacy because now the kwami are always going to be around. The first thing one of them (Trixx) did was start reading her diary, showing that they have absolutely no shame or regard for Marinette’s feelings.
Her schedule? Conveniently pops away into the realm of non-existence so she can look bad for ditching Chat Noir on patrol and neglecting dates with Luka due to her responsibilities/stress.
Her boyfriend, the one person in the entire show who loved her, respected her agency, never judged her, actually apologized when he made her sad, and who she was genuinely in love with rather than just having the equivalent of a celebrity crush for? She had to break up with him because plot and needing to force her to go back to fawning over the guy who has only made her life worse by her crushing on him.
When I say the universe hates Marinette, this is what I mean. It created random akuma to attack Paris all for the sake of forcing Marinette away from Luka, and apparently didn’t realize what they were doing in the scene where Marinette hurries back to the Liberty when Kitty Section and Adrien are playing together when Adrien is Chat Noir so he should’ve been late too.
(Oh, and Marinette completely ignores Adrien in favor of waving at Luka and even tells Luka outright that Adrien isn’t even a factor in their relationship issues, further proving the “multiple drafts smashed together” and “the Adrien name drops are pointless” points.)
The whole thing in “Backwarder” where it was basically outright stated that Marianne could’ve been Fu’s confidant had Marianne not been outed by Ladybug’s mistake? Completely forgotten and left to the wayside. Marinette could’ve told Luka that she was watching the Miracle Box in Ladybug’s place (for any number of reasons, really: either Ladybug thinks it’s too dangerous to keep with her, or if the public doesn’t know that Ladybug is guardian, then Marinette can just say that she’s guardian) and that she has to run off to keep guard of the Miracle Box when an akuma/sentimonster happens in case Ladybug needs a miraculous.
Boom, done, episode solved. Luka gets to help Marinette with the kwami, Marinette is less stressed because someone knows half of her secret, and Luka and Marinette continue to date but are able to plan around akuma attacks.
But no. That whole thing in “Backwarder” where guardians (or at least Fu) can have a confidant was just there so Marinette could feel guilty about screwing it all up, because she’s not able to take advantage of that perk herself.
How convenient.
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lilallama · 3 years
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(Sorry if I spell something wrongly lol) Idk, This is my opinion? Gryffindor, Jungkook. Hufflepuff, Taehyung & Yoongi. Ravenclaw, Namjoon & Jin. Slytherin, Jimin & Hobi??? I literally just searched the meaning of each house and just picked one based on the personality shown. Also, If you don't think this matches them, Sorry ;-;
[Don't worry, sweetie ^^. You don't have to apologise! 💕🍑]
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Hoseok is a lot more two faced than I actually tend to show. The way he presents himself is mostly a mask. While he seems mostly calm on the outside, he's actually quite the opposite on the inside. Out of all the boys it'd be easiest for him to manipulate/influence Y/n (@bangtans-apollo Tae is quacking-) and he's aware of that. That's one of the reasons why they started the club 1. To protect Y/n, 2. The club concept came because it'd be easier to meet up and they would automatically get a clubroom and 3. Hoseok threatened to tell on them if they don't join, he'd make Y/n despise each one of them.
He is a strong leader (one of the Slytherin traits), I try to make him resourceful (but I am not myself so that might not shine through too much), he is definitely cunning. The whole ordeal with wanting to be with Y/n no matter what is pretty ambitious, I'd say. And lastly the traditionalism trait, he is very into tradition and has to keep his domestic fantasies with Y/n a secret. His parents raised him very traditional, he would hate it if (female) Y/n would ask him out first or would propose first and would at first frown upon his attention to (male or non binary) Y/n.
All in all Slytherin seems very accurate.
Now concerning Jimin; similar to Hoseok he too can be a two faced snake. He doesn't hide his true thoughts from Y/n or the boys, if anything he overshares sometimes (one time he started talking to Taehyung about some... rather inappropriate things concerning Y/n. That got his Y/n privilege taken away for a whole month). And despite practically pleading to be the "dumb bimbo" stereotype, he is surprisingly clever and intelligent. Before Highschool, before he made his first experiences with popular boys, he was a straight A's and B's student. Yet once he had his first boyfriend, he discovered that the people surrounding him typically preferred the dumb blondes. (He actually broke up with the captain of the football team for Y/n.)
He also sometimes displays ambitious, just in a whiney sort of way. Self preservation is definitely something. Unlike Taehyung, Yoongi, Namjoon or Jeongguk, he wouldn't let himself be killed for Y/n's sake. If Y/n were to be killed he would end up deluding himself into thinking a person who looks similar to them is them and would force Y/n's personality and style on them. Cunningness is 100% accurate. He's fake. He pretends to be a silly sweetheart who loves everyone but will spread rumours about you, blame things on you etc. and everyone believes him. His cunningness concerning Y/n is more whiney than anything.
So I do think Jimin fits Slytherin.
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Namjoon was raised by strict parents who forbade him a tremendous amount of things and painted his world for him. It was engraved in his head, he was going to be the CEO of their company one day. Yet despite everything he still had a head of his own. Maye it was because if his high IQ that he understood that his parents weren't the only opinion in his life. Don't get me wrong, they still left him scarred (sadly literally, as his father once hit him bloody) and traumatised but not without a mind of his own. Ever since he was small creativity and originality was something he admired and loved. It was partly reason of why he fell for Y/n, their individuality, their mind, their heart, their soul.
We will not need to discuss intelligence, it's a trait he undoubtedly has. He is always willing to learn and showed interest in many different things before Y/n captured his focus. He is most likely one of the wisest members as he is aware of how twisted his love for them truly is (once again something I tend to fail at portraying) and tried to stop it when it started. But somehow that only made everything worse and by now he doesn't care anymore at all. When he was a child he used to be more openly curious than nowadays (as it caused him many punishments from his parents).
I feel that Namjoon would fit Ravenclaw.
Seokjin was spoiled all his life. His parents adored him, other kids adored him, everyone adored him. While he might've acted oblivious he knew that it's because of his money. Similar to Jimin, Seokjin changed when he entered high school. While he always was a pretty intelligent and well behaved student (still very arrogant though) he then became less concerned with studies and once made a teacher cry (that was before he met Y/n). He loves standing out as an individual, that includes making anyone change who crosses his path with the same outfit (not in school as they wear a school uniform. But outside, yes, he has that much power. Everyone knows Kim Seokjin).
As said before, Seokjin is far from stupid. He is a very intelligent individual but doesn't show the extent of his nolage. Instead aiming for a cool "Queen B" persona. He is witty with his comebacks (something I cannot write because I do not possess that superpower), he's quick with his words. He holds respect for people who are 60+ years old as he believes they've been through a lot in life already. These people have wisdom he could only gain by experience and that he respects (there is one very sweet lady that lives alone in a very big mansion a few streets away from his penthouse. He always visits her because he loves her genuine kindness. When he met Y/n she recently passed away and he saw a part of her in them).
Seokjin could qualify for a Ravenclaw.
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Taehyung was raised by a very Christian family that he still cherishes very much. Because of their intense belief he was raised to worship. He never fell in love, so when Y/n crossed paths with his, he started showing love how he's used to it (Out of all the boys Taehyung is straight up insane. Something in his brain might be wired wrong, there is no explanation on why he likes them, on why he believed that's what love is because his parents treated him with normal, familiar love. So he is simply sick, there is no "saving" him. He's better of in a mental hospital). But he was always a very kind boy. Giving instead of taking, never wanting anything in return. Out of everyone, Taehyung was the one who welcomed new students and made tons of friends. But he grew out of it as his focus turned to art. He aimed to make his parents proud so he didn't have time for friends.
His loyalty is unlike any other. You could torture him half dead and he'd still forgive you, stay loyal to you, serve you. He is Y/n's servant. He works hard on improving his artistic abilities and also to maintain fairly good grades. For Y/n any labour he'd have to be put through would seem like a blessing. Another trait for Hufflepuff would be fairness and he surely is fair. As one of the least jealous members of the club he really only cares if Y/n's okay with what's happening or could get hurt (he always kets the other members have more privileges than he has because he believes it'd be not only greedy but prideful to want Y/n to hinself. He avoids any sin when it comes to Y/n, envy, wrath, pride, sloth, nothing will ever come near his modern day Jesus).
Taehyung definitely is a Hufflepuff.
If the boy who works two parttime jobs, to pay for rent, bills and food, cleans the shabby apartment by himself because his alcoholic mother is busy messing it up again, yet still treats his mother with kindness, only to be treated like trash by seven more powerful and successful guys in his school who all like the same person he does and still manages to maintain the position as intern and honour roll student at a prestigious school for roch people, isn't in Hufflepuff then I don't know what. This poor soul is incredibly sensitive and kind. He isn't judgemental (as he himself is used to people judging him). All round very sweet.
I think it's very clear that he's very diligent and hard working. He holds great passion for music and enjoys writing poetry, a very sensitive soul. Yoongi isn't someone to complain about something being unfair (cough cough Jimin cough cough) or try and steal Y/n away from them. His day dreams consist of imagining Y/n liking him back, but he is certain that would never happen (according to you guys, it seems a lot of you would pick Yoongi if you'd get to decide). Not only is Yoongi kind but loyal as well, he'd never imagine leaving anyone behind even his useless mother.
Yoongi is 1000% a Hufflepuff.
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Jeongguk tends to be hot tempered, he goes from zero to a hundred in a matter of seconds. Everything in life seems like a challenge to prove he's better than others think (his father was a notorious serial killer who killed twenty one people yet got away with a ten year prison sentence and got released after six, ten months later Jeongguk was born). In truth he did not care for anyone else, only Y/n. So all tge chivalry he could muster was directed at them.
He is one brave guy who doesn't get easily scared (I guess living with as well as being a serial killer at sixteen years old desensitised him). Jeongguk is courageous just not in/for a positive way/purpose. He deluted himself into thinking that Y/n needs protection, HIS protection. He once attacked a teacher because they were helping Y/n with a question, that's very daring (more like stupid) just not in a good way. A (still not) more positive example of his daringness is when he wants to impress Y/n. He hung from a skyscraper for five minutes doing pullups, just to inpress them. One time he also jumped across his luxurious pool at home (and almost slipped, almost bashing his head in) just to prove that he can jump further than someone they talked about.
I could very much picture him as a Griffendor.
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repentantsky · 3 years
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9 Things I’d like to see at E3, 2021
So E3 2021 is a thing. It’s gonna be all digital, and several companies have already signed up to join, sounds like a good deal, but the question is, will it be what we normally expect out of E3, or will it be more like Summer Game Fest Last Year, where everything that looked like it was gonna be great, but just turned out to be okay? Who can say, but I have some...suggestions, that might make it better, along with some game announcements, that might make it all it should be cracked up to be. 
9. No low quality, at home interviews during the main show 
E3 has had a history of doing interviews during game shows to try and break pace a little, and keep people from being too excited, only to potentially be let down later. However, possibly the worst problem with Summer Game Fest last year, was the at home interviews, which broke pacing during game announcements in a way I can’t imagine was on purpose, and for many, was the time to take a bathroom break, or simply look away for a while. It’s important of course to hear from developers about their projects, and they can divulge some interesting information about games, that either puts something confusing into context, or is accidently leaked, but when we watch shows about game releases, we want to see the games. Interviews should be held in between shows, or better yet, the days following the conferences themselves. 
8. Nintendo finally talks about the big three 
While it’s safe to say Nintendo has done some banger numbers over the last year espeically, due to better console availability, which I never thought I’d say about Nintendo but here we are, it’s also safe to say that fans have been waiting for literal years on Bayonetta 3, Metroid Prime 4, and Breath of the Wild 2. While some have been more patient than others, and of course I understand there’s a flipping pandemic going on, Nintendo told us far too long ago about these games, or the restart of their development, and Breath of the Wild 2 was promised to at least get an update this year, and E3 seems like the best place to do it, especially after their last direct, one that was more than a year in waiting, and left so many people disappointed. And this is coming from someone who had literally only hoped to be excited about one thing, and it didn’t happen The future of how they present games, almost feels like it’s in question after such a show, which did not justify itself, so hopefully, they can finally let everyone walk away happy, and talk about the projects that have been generation the most excitement, for literal years now.
7. Space things out better
You might now know this, I only made one list about it after all, and literally no one reacted to it, but I’m a huge wrestling fan, and one of the promotions I watch, is WWE. Now, WWE is about to launch WrestleMania, their equal to E3 in a lot of ways, and are splitting it up over two days, and that goes for their third brand NXT as well, because they have a history of making the show sometimes 8 hours long. For fans of video games, watching The Game Awards, which can be two to three hours long, is arduous, and tiring, and E3, can also have that same effect. I remember in 2019, I literally fell asleep watching Bethesda’s conference, because I was so tired trying to write about the previous shows in between them, never mind actually watching them, that I was burnt out. Since E3 is going fully digital this year, and everyone is going to be in that same boat, it would be nice if we didn’t have too many shows, spanning over a near 12 hour period, which was happened before, making people stay up late to enjoy what they want to, or you know, work, which is free promotion for whatever gets announced. Spacing the shows out to no more than three a day, and giving people enough time to get their thoughts together, would just be really nice. 
6. Devolver Digital, tries a different style
Look, I don’t hate Devolver Digital’s approach to talking about games at E3, but what I do hate, is them telling the same jokes over and over again, and expecting everyone to laugh, because you know, it’s so funny when something that’s already been said, or shown, is modified ever so slightly for years on end. I’m not saying they can’t still tell jokes, please do, E3 is as much a good time as it is stressful depending on who you are, so the change of pace can at times be a lot of fun, but the last time they had a “conference”, it was a slog, and generally left me feeling annoyed, and I can’t help but feel I’m not the only one. They want to be different, I say that’s great, but they need to do it in a way that for one, is actually different, because their style has become a cliché in and of itself, and where they don’t spend time talking about fake games, because it’s hard to know at times what’s real and what isn’t. I honestly thought the last time they did one, the final game they talked about was just a play on the “one more thing” trope conferences have, and when I later realized it wasn’t, I never got that first sense of hype, and so lost interest, and that’s not a good business model. We don’t even know at this point if they’re going to declare for E3, and since it was announced late, it might be too hard to get a show at all, but if they do show up, or even when they next do a conference, it would be nice if they considered this line of thinking.
5. Drop the “Exclusive Online Portal” idea
Yeah I don’t know what the ESA was thinking with this one, but they mentioned that E3 will be streaming from an exclusive online portal, and not only do we not know what that means, but no one flipping cares! We’re all going to watching it on YouTube, Twitch, or dare I say it but it’s possible, Facebook Gaming, and any other platform is completely useless. We are all tired of hearing, download a new program to do a thing you can already do on other platforms, PC gamers especially, stop releasing new flipping launchers and...sorry, that’s for another list in the future perhaps, but the point stands. You might get streamers to download, or go to whatever site they need to, to watch the shows, but everyone else, is either going to watch those streams, or as it often happens, watch the highlights at a later time, so to add a potentially extra step to that process, is just not going to go anywhere, and since E3 will be free to watch, it’s not like this is going to be a good way to make money, unless you do plan to do the following...
4. Throwing flipping ads at everyone between shows or otherwise
Look, I get it, even an online show that’s going to be talking about games costs money to make, and so money must be made by other means, many of which are not available to the ESA without people actually being present, but the thing about E3 is, as much as we all love it, it is one massive ad, and even though it’s an add we like, it’s not one that needs too many ads thrown at it beyond what it already has. There are other, less annoying ways to make money, like having products from the games announced be available at a store online that people can access, that sees them getting part of the profit, or something of that nature, but this portal that was mentioned, seems like a place where the ESA can just throw ads at people all day, and that just seems like a horrible idea. A lot of people don’t see E3 as an ad, even though it absolutely is, and blowing away the smoke and mirrors that it’s not, by throwing countless ads at people for the sake of trying to make money, might be the end of E3 as we know it. 
3. Don’t spend too much time talking about games that are coming out close to the event, or just came out
Like I said, E3 is one big, massive ad, and for the most part, that’s totally alright, but E3 also has a habit of sneaking in little bits talking about games, that are coming out during the week of, or very close to the shows, to the point of being annoying. Most of the time these ads are short, show nothing new, and generally kill the pace of the conferences on display. While it’d be one thing to try and shadow drop a game this way, because we all love a good shadow drop, we really don’t need ads for games like FF7 Intergrade, Ratchet and Clank: Rift Apart, or flipping Mario Golf: Super Rush. We know those games are coming, we are paying attention, give us a little credit, and save that for games that could use the push like Neptunia: ReVerse, Legend of Mana, or maybe even Scarlett Nexus who actually in way, has to compete with Mario Golf. This might be more a developer problem, and E3 itself might actually have little to no control over this, but whoever does it, needs to do it right.
2. Xbox needs to stop lying, and go big
I love Xbox, I really do, for whatever reason it’s become my go to place for physical indie games, and whenever I want to play a shooter, I start thinking green, but in their conferences, Phil Spencer has a tendency to oversell what Xbox is going to show, by talking about how many games are going to be at the show, or by constantly mentioning how Xbox is more powerful than it’s competitor consoles, like it does any good for the bottom line of the company. I don’t want to hear Phil say they are going to show off 80 games during their show, and have half of them be ports, or shown off in a montage. Doing that means everyone has to go look up a large portion of what they actually announce to learn anything, and that’s no fun. I don’t want montages during E3 at all, and while I’m at it, Xbox espeically needs to bring in the big guns. I’m talking Halo Infinite, Gears 6, the next Forza game, and maybe, finally, a Japanese exclusive title that will get people really hyped. Xbox might just have free reign over the show on the day they present, but another show that has extremely mixed opinions like in 2019, might not be the best thing ever. 
1. GET. SONY. 
Obviously we know that Sony and the PlayStation brand haven’t been associated with E3 for a while now, and I get it, it’s kind of hard to justify going down to L.A. every year, when an online digital show, saves a whole bunch of money, and can get people just as hyped as if they had been there, but this year, everything is online, and Sony’s State of Play’s have been a mixed reaction as a whole. Taking them to E3 not only sets up more hype for them, but it also gives people something they really need right now, something close to the norm, with all of console developers, showing off their best. E3 2019, just felt weaker, and too safe without Sony there, and last year was a total, long winded disaster because of Summer Game Fest. If the ESA is really going to go for this, and give it an earnest shot, and give us the best that they can, they need Sony to show up and blow our minds with, I don’t know, God of War 2, Spyro 4 (hopefully) and a new IP or two to really get the show to being considered one of the best. E3 will probably be alright regardless of if they are there or not, but if they are, the chances of it being truly great, go up in spades. 
And that’s my list, did I miss anything else you can think of? Let me know in the comments below, like this list if it interested you, reblog it if you love it, and have a wonderful day. 
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danetobelieve · 3 years
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Game Night || Ariana, Rio, Todd and Winston
When: before the morgue scream, late september :) Who: @letsbenditlikebennett, @itsyaboytodd, @3starsquinn & @danetobelieve Where: Winston & Rio’s house. Summary: who doesn’t love a family game night? Warnings: n/a  
Winston pulled the door of their place open. It’s hinges creaking slightly in the nighttime. It had been a nightmare recently and they were always one who would try and take the advice that they would give to their friends and they were sure that they would suggest that their friends keep busy. But all they could think about was how they hadn’t been able to change what had happened to Roland and to Orion and to Blanche. A forced smile cracked across their face that definitely didn’t quite reach their eyes. “Hey, I’m so glad you’re here, come in come in, it’s starting to get cold again and you should come into the warmth for sure.” 
Todd didn’t usually read the news, but it had been hard to ignore all the stuff about the police guy who’d died in the fire at the funeral home. It had blown up all over Facebook and the town’s online noticeboard and he couldn’t imagine what it must be like for Winston during all of this. That dude had been their boss-- and like, Winston really loved his job. It wasn’t like a shift manager at Friction had quit or anything like that. That guy had died.... That was some legit awful stuff. Which is why he had a case of Natty’s under one arm, his backpack full of games, and his favorite bucket hat on his head. He was gonna make this game night the best they’d had! “Haha, thanks, dude!” He said as he walked inside. Was he a little cold? Yeah. But, shorts and a bro tank were his go-to look and he wasn’t about to let the fall weather come and ruin that for him. “I got us beers! And, I’ve got a whole bunch of games in my bag-- brought my poker set, Cards against Humanity, and,” Todd reached into the pocket of his cargo shorts and tossed the yellow sack excitedly in the air. “Bananagrams!” 
Going to game night with her friends was the right thing to do. It was what Celeste and Winn would have wanted her to do, but still, Ariana felt as if she was just sort of floating by. Every day, things seemed to be getting darker and darker, including the sky. The way the trees seemed to blow the opposite direction of the wind and how the light seemed to flicker as she walked by painted a surreal picture that mirrored what she was feeling inside. Part of her wanted to return to the comfort of the fluffy blanket she had on her couch and snuggle up to Luna, but she had to move forward. Keep taking the right steps until things started to feel right. Plus, it had been entirely too long since she’d hung out with Winston and Todd and she wasn’t quick to forget she nearly lost Rio and Blanche, too. She’d brought an array of snacks with her since she didn’t have any games besides Dreamsnatcher and she couldn’t buy alcohol. She’d mustered enough energy to make some salsa and guacamole to go with the chips she brought. She didn’t bother knocking as she had a key to let herself in. As she twisted the knob, she took in a deep breath and put on the most convincing smile she could. “Hey guys,” she called out as she entered the house, “I brought snacks!” 
It hadn’t been the best couple of weeks. Orion had felt just about tapped out, between the fire and the police officer dying and then Winn so shortly after. For the first time since Rio had left his family’s house, he had actually started to feel that familiar sense of hopelessness he had been so overcome with the last few years. Things had changed. Things had been getting better. Why was it now that things were going so terribly wrong? Just when Rio was starting to feel useful, like he finally had a purpose to help people. Turned out, after Roland and Winn, he had only reinforced the fact that he had been useless after all. But Winston hadn’t been the same since the fire either. Something was wrong, and Rio didn’t know how to fix that either. But maybe tonight could be a start, if they could just find some semblance of normalcy. With Winston’s friend Todd coming and Rio and Ariana finally talking again maybe the four of them could find a way to make things okay again. Even if it was only for a single night. It was a start. So despite how sore his body was, and the healing burn on his hands and neck, Rio plastered a smile onto his face, and jumped up from the couch when he heard them arrive. He scooted into the room where Winston was inviting them in and waved from the end of the hall, “Hey! Thanks for coming!” He couldn’t tell if it sounded genuine or like he was trying too hard, but hoped it was the former, “I really needed this after the fire.”  
Todd was always a bright spot in Winston’s life. He seemed to exude vibrance, innocence and happiness. Exactly what Winston needed right now. The truth was of course that as Ariana came in behind him, they could tell that she was struggling just as much as they were. There was something about the fact that her eyes didn’t quite hold the smile that her face did. There was a slowness and forcedness to her reactions. She didn’t seem truly happy but then again who was nowadays? But Winston hadn’t forgotten having to abandon Todd when they were meant to be going to that concert, this was their way of making it up to their friend. “Duuuude!” Winston grinned and hoped it looked genuine, “thanks for bringing the Nattys! Can’t wait to get going on this, everyone come in come in, Rio obviously knows Ari, and so do you Todd, but Rio this is my friend Todd and Todd this is my boyfriend Orion but we all just call him Rio.” Winston held their smile until their back was turned to everyone as they shut the door to their lounge and had a brief moment of respite from the forced looks of elation. “Does anyone want a cold drink, I can put the beers in the freezer so they get cold faster.” Wasn’t Todd cold in a tank top? Winston was already wearing one of their favourite hoodies and they were considering turning the heating up. 
“Oh hell yeah, Meg--Ariana!” Todd said with a grin as the girl mentioned snacks. He fucking loved chips and guac. Letting Winston take the beers from him, Todd held out his arms, offering Megan-- Ariana, a respectful side-hug if she wanted it. Just cuz he was a hugger didn’t mean that he was just gonna bear hug her, that wasn’t cool. “How ya been? When Winston told me that you’d be here, I was super hype.” Turning around, Todd looked at the young man who was walking up to him, looking a little hesitant. Ah, nah, that wouldn’t do! This was game night! “Duuuude! Rio! Nice to meet ya, Winston’s told me lots about you!” He said, arms still spread out wide as he offered a big hug. He wasn’t super sure what was going on, but he got the idea that this game night was a long time coming. And he just wanted everyone to have a good time.
There was no denying that she wasn’t the only one here feeling worse for wear, but Ariana couldn’t help but smile at Todd’s enthusiasm. He really did have such an energetic way about him that would normally be more contagious. It was funny, she’d almost forgotten he met her as Megan. With a small laugh, she joked, “Sorry for the name confusion there. One might say I was having a bit of an identity crisis.” She accepted Todd’s hug and felt a little bit better after the fact. Somehow, this was already working a bit and taking her mind off everything. The Natty would probably help even more, but for now, she grabbed some bowls from the kitchen and set up the chips and dips. “I won’t lie to you, I’ve been better, but I’m happy to be here with you guys. I had a lot of fun when Winston brought me to that party you played a few weeks ago,” she answered with her most convincing smile, “How have you been? Still seeing that cougar?” She hated that word, but she lit up a bit when Rio was introduced. “I legit forget his full name is Orion sometimes, but Rio is the best.” 
Tonight was going to be nice. It had to be, for all of their sakes. Well maybe not Todd, he seemed to be doing fine actually. That was pretty refreshing, meeting someone so genuinely happy. Todd was obviously an affectionate person, trying to welcome Orion with open arms, literally. Rio accepted the hug, albeit a little more apprehensive than Todd was. His friendliness was contagious, making Rio want to smile despite the situation. That was what the night was for though, right? “It’s nice to meet you too! I’ve uh- heard a lot about you as well. And I guess in a way Winston and I have you to thank for us getting together. It sorta started at some club we went to to see you.” Would either of them ever have made a move if they hadn’t gotten drunk in that club? It was hard to tell. Rio glanced curiously over at Ariana when she mentioned an identity crisis. Rio had no idea what that meant, but he supposed the two hadn’t talked much until Rio had gone to the hospital. He felt a little out of the loop. “Ha. Well, it’s actually sorta weird now when people actually call me Orion. I feel like my parents are the only ones that do it.” Rio shrugged and scratched at the burn on his neck nervously. “But uh- Feel free to drink however much you want tonight! You can sleep here if you need or I can drive you home after.” 
Keeping busy was the name of the game. Whether it was with work or with friends or with personal projects. Winston didn’t have time to think about everything that had been going on recently if they kept themselves busy. “You can crash in the spare room or on one of the sofas if you’d prefer dude,” Winston agreed from the kitchen as they sorted snacks into bowls, slid very drinks into fridges and made themselves their own drink. Swallowing half of it in one go, Winston winced. Alcohol didn't’ even really numb anything all that much. But it was harder to think about how fucked up things were at the moment. Looking over to Todd, Winston couldn’t help but smile. How the guy managed to stay so positive throughout was kind of beyond them. “You’ve yet to tell us that much about this girl you are dating,” Winston chimed in their back still turned to the group. They hoped that the emotion hadn’t completely left their voice. They had just been telling people that they were tired but they weren’t sure if anyone actually believed it. 
Hugging Megan-Ariana first, then Rio, Todd couldn’t help how overwhelmingly happy he was to be hanging with one of his best buds, his best bud’s boyfriend, and a really dope chick. He hadn’t had a fun game night with the boys-- well, boy, non-binary bro, and a girl-- in a long time and he was hyped for it. “Haha, it’s all good, dude. And hey, no worries. That’s what game night’s for! How are we feeling on games?” He asked as he began to pull out the decks of cards from his bag and set the poker chip set on the table. Looking over at Rio, he grinned, “Oh, you guys came to the club? That’s so dope! Haha, I’m glad that you guys were able to like, connect and stuff! Friction is good for that.” He said with a nod, the innuendo of what he’d said going over his head. Grabbing a Natty, he popped the top and took a long drink before shrugging. “I’m not the kinda guy to kiss and tell,” He laughed and shook his head. He wanted to tell them all about Lydia, how he just… couldn’t get her out of his head. How all his music seemed to be about her. But, now didn’t feel like the right time for him to go all mushy with how much he liked her. “Besides! We’re here to have a good time, not hear about my relationship stuff.”
How Todd maintained his level of unbridled enthusiasm was a mystery to Ariana. Had life just been more kind to him? Was it because he wasn’t caught up in all the supernatural drama of the town? Had death not quite touched him like it had the rest of them? If it had, she certainly couldn’t see it. Tragedy struck her too young to be familiar in the ways of blind optimism, but she always persevered, right? She found little moments worth pushing forward for, like these. It was evident in Winston’s voice that things were taking a toll on them, too. As she prepared the last of the snacks she brought, she placed a comforting hand on their shoulder and gave Winston a meaningful look before following them out into the living room with snacks in tow. It was hard not to laugh along with Todd. He was sure secretive about this older woman he was seeing, which made her a bit weary, but she chalked it up to her own bleak outlook at this moment. With a coy grin, she threw in, “I mean, hearing about your dating life sounds fun to me, but fine, don’t tell us the juicy details. I’m not living vicariously through you.” Maybe she wasn’t, but that thought made her head spin. She didn’t like to think about how she felt about Ace. None of that mattered if she let Lydia kill him and thinking about it only made her sad, so she shook it away and asked, “So what are we starting with first? I’ve only really done board games with y’all, so I’m really game for anything.” 
“I have no idea what you all are talking about, but I’m totally not going to pry into your dating life.” Orion shrugged, trying to feign the same light and airiness that Todd carried himself around with. Though the two weren’t close, and had only just met Rio realized that everyone needed a friend like Todd to keep this optimistic even in the worst of times. Rio just hoped for Todd’s sake that he never had to figure out how difficult things could get here in White Crest. But for the sake of tonight, Rio could try to forget it. Or if nothing else at least ignore it. “Some of us are trying to make good first impressions.” Rio grinned, hoping that by taking Todd’s side he won some points. Though it didn’t seem like it took much for Todd to make friends with someone. He seemed like a pretty personable guy. It was the same attitude that Adam held at times, though Rio was starting to figure out that there was more beneath that surface. “If we play video games, Winston is sure to stomp us all. Not that I’m complaining.” Wait… did that sound suggestive? He coughed into his arm and cleared his throat, trying to change things around, “But uh- we have cards. And board games. And can do anything that doesn’t involve me making a decision. Wow I’m thirsty. I mean parched. I mean… I’m gonna grab water now.”
“Todd is dating a mystery older woman,” they explained to Rio, “but he likes to keep things secret to build tension… apparently.” Winston had to admit that they found it a little strange that they hadn’t heard more about Todd’s girl, but they weren’t one to pry into their friend’s private business, as long as Todd was happy then so was Winston. Especially when he was apparently managing to continue to live a relatively normal life without the interference of any supernatural parties. Something that Winston kind of envied him for. Yet it was very weird that Todd wasn’t telling them more. Normally he liked to show off those that he was dating. Apparently not anymore, but then again maybe this was different. Sharing a brief look with Ariana, Winston felt their stomach flip. They weren’t sure if it was worse that they were having emotions or feeling numb all the time. When they had an overwhelming sense of loss they wanted to feel numb and when they felt numb they didn’t want to feel anything. Swallowing away the lump in their throat, Winston sighed gently. “Whenever you’re ready dude,” Winston assured him quietly, “you know that we all just want to get to know her but … you can’t rush these things.” It had taken Winston a while to admit the same things with Rio. Besides, every relationship was different. “We could start with something like cards against maybe?” Winston wasn’t sure that they really wanted to play anything, but it was games night and they had to make the effort, how were things going to go back to … well whatever normal had been before all of this? 
As he was razzed by the others, Todd couldn’t help but grin sheepishly. It was nice to know that they cared about him-- not that he doubted Winston! He knew that work came first and people had to prioritize their stuff! But, it was still nice, feeling wanted like this. It was the way Lydia made him feel. Man, he wished that he could tell them about her. But, now just wasn’t the time. Maybe he’d have a party! Where he could invite his friends and have them meet Lydia, and he could tell them about how he’d met the lead singer of Ace of Cups. At Rio’s words, he offered a wink, “I like you, dude. I mean, I knew I’d like you given everything Winston’s told me about you, but you’re a good one. Keep this one around, bud!” He said, clapping a hand on Winston’s shoulder and giving him a teasing shake. “I just don’t wanna freak her out! She’s like… super high class and like, half the time we go on dates, I’m just like “wow, she’s so outta my league.”” He said and shrugged. When Winston suggested cards, he nodded. “Sounds good to me! Poker’s fun, but we can also do other games too! Blackjack, BS, I’m up for whatever!”
If Todd preferred to keep his love life a mystery, Ariana could try to understand. Still, something left her feeling uncertain, but she chalked it up to how shit everything had been lately. She hadn’t meant to become this cynical person and she straightened up realizing that Celeste would never have wanted this for her. With a brighter smile that still felt forced, she commented, “Well, whoever this classy mystery woman is, she’s lucky to have you. You’re super fucking cool.” It was hard not to be endeared by Rio’s ever consistent spazzy tendencies. One day, she hoped he felt more sure of himself, but around he seemed to be getting more comfortable with her personally. She’d just have to help take over decision making for him which was hardly difficult. “I don’t know how to play poker, but I do love Cards Against Humanity. There’s no numbers in that one which like, thank god,” she responded dramatically. Her and math were never going to be friends and that was fine by her. “What’s the ridiculous rule for who goes first again?” 
“Don’t make me blush, it happens way too easily!” Orion cried out, but he was laughing as he shied away from Todd’s approval. It was weird, meeting one of Winston’s friends as their boyfriend instead of just being Rio. The two had been part of a connected group of friends, where most of them knew each other before Winston and Rio ever started dating. It was no longer telling the people that he was already friendly with that he and Winston were seeing each other now, but actually meeting someone new while being a couple. It was a small enough difference that it should have been completely inconsequential, however it still sparked excitement in Rio. “I agree. She sounds pretty cool, but you’re definitely a catch.” He had to admit that the two did sound like a semi odd pairing, but Rio didn’t know enough about Todd or this mystery woman to judge either way. As long as the two were happy, Rio didn’t see the problem. “Yay. A game full of sexual innuendos that I totally understand” Rio grinned sarcastically and resigned himself to his fate. He was going to be lobster red from blushing the entire night. At Ariana’s question, Rio groaned hating that he was the one that remembered the rules to this game, “It’s uh- Well I’m pretty sure the official rules say that it was the last one to like… go to the bathroom… number two style.”
Winston swallowed a mouthful of their drink. Why did everything taste kind of shitty now? Everything felt kind of shitty too. Winston felt like their throat always stuck together whenever they swallowed anything like there was a weird lump in it or something. “I guess we’ll all just have to wait in suspense to see what’s she’s like, something to look forward to … right bud?” Winston swallowed, were they convincing enough? Probably not. They were having a good time right? “Even if you don’t understand them Ri now is the time for you to learn right?” Winston chuckled, the sound was hollow and Winston did what they could to ignore that. “I did a number two this morning but I haven’t really had a chance to eat today soooo…. Anyway, anyone been more … regular then me?” 
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gojira007 · 4 years
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Movie Meme
Took me a bit of time, but I was tagged by @bunnikkila to list my nine favorite movies, and since I can’t help but be ridiculously verbose about that very topic, you can see them all under the cut 8D
As for who I tag?  Well, as always with the caveat that you are free to ignore if you don’t wanna, I’ll go with: @elistodragonwings @kaikaku @donnys-boy @robotnik-mun @sally-mun @fini-mun @werewolf-t33th  @cviperfan and @wildwoodmage​
and don’t worry, if you DO go for it, you don’t have to get as Extra as I did about it XD
9.) 
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Look, the meme is about Favorite Movies, not necessarily the BEST Movies, OK?  And for the most part this list consists of films where that division is less meaningful in terms of how I evaluate the other movies on here.  But in this specific case, “Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie”, which is ultimately not all that different from the “Mystery Science Theater 3000″ TV show it spun off from and thus not particularly impressive as a work of Cinema Qua Cinema, makes the cut primarily because it’s a movie I know so well and have enjoyed so often that I can practically recite the whole thing to you by rote; I quote it all the time in my day-to-day life, I think about it often when I need a little smile, and it’s also become my favorite tool for introducing newcomers to MST3K as a whole since it was designed with a slightly broader audience in mind than the more willfully-eclectic series.  And given how much I love MST3K As A Whole, that’s an especially strong factor in its favor.
8.) 
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Looky looky, @bunnikkila, we (unsurprisingly) have a pick in common!  I’m sure this is the one and only time THAT’S going to happen on this list. 8D
Y’know, nearly thirty years (and one fairly useless remake >_>) later, I think the thing that impresses me about “The Lion King” is just how much it is still able to grab me emotionally.  Some of that is unquestionably tied up with how strongly I associate this movie with my family, all of whom it became very special to as a Shared Experience.  But I also don’t know of a lot of people who haven’t had that same emotional experience with it, and that to me suggests there’s more going on here than just Nostalgia.  The mixture of Shakesperean plotting with Disney’s signature strength of Character, for one thing, granting the movie’s story an Epic Scope that never forgets the emotional inner lives of its cast.  The music for another, not only its instantly-iconic song-book but also its memorable score, armed with both Big Bombast and Gentle Sentiment.  And the unforgettably gorgeous animation, rendering every last element of its world with believable naturalism and strongly-defined personality.  All of it, together, makes for what I still personally consider the Crowning Achievement of the Disney Renaissance.
7.)
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I think, if I had to name the thing I find most lacking in far too many modern Action Movies, it’s Clarity.  They all tend to lard their plots up with a bunch of unnecessary contrivances and complications in hopes of making themselves appear more clever than they actually are, and all it usually does is just dilute the impact of the whole thing.  “Mad Max: Fury Road”, by contrast, is all about Clarity.  I could sum up literally its entire plot in a paragraph if I wanted, because it is basically One Big Chase Scene from start to finish, never really deviating from that structure for more than a few minutes at a time.  And that, combined with its exceptionally well-crafted Action Sequences, means that the full weight of its visceral power hits you full force every time.  But don’t be fooled; that simplicity is not to be mistaken for shallowness.  Indeed, precisely by getting out of its own way, knowing exactly what it wants to do and why, “Fury Road” also delivers a story that is, in spite of what you might guess, genuinely subtle and smart.  Every character is immediately unforgettable and compelling because their role in the story is so well-considered and their personalities all so stark.  The world it crafts feels at once fascinatingly surreal and yet All Too Real at the same time because even its most Fantastic elements are ultimately just grotesque reflections of things the audience knows only too well.  And most of all, it tells a story with real, meaningful Themes that are deeply woven into each of its individual elements, such that the whole thing is deeply satisfying emotionally, but also piercingly Relevant in all the best, most affecting ways.
6.) 
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Oh look, another pick I have in common with @bunnikkila!  This must be the last one, right?
But yeah, this is just a legitimately great movie, at every level, in every way.  Stylistically, it is one of the most radically inventive things to have ever been made in the world of Western Animated Movies, gleefully mixing together a vast array of Aesthetics and Techniques that are at once viscerally distinct and yet coherently connected, all rendered with a fantastic eye toward the world of Comic Book Visual Language that keeps finding new and extremely fun ways to play with that instantly-recognizable iconography.  For that alone, I would call it one of the greatest triumphs of 21st century animation.  But then, on top of that, the story it tells is one that is simultaneously Arch and self-aware, delivering some of the most fantastically hilarious punch-lines imaginable more than a few of which are at the expense of the very franchise it is working within...but also entirely earnest, sincere, and emotionally affecting.  It is, at once, a movie that manages to be about The Idea Of Spider-Man in its totality while also being about just one kid coming to grips with who he is, what he can do, and what his life can be.  I don’t know that I can remember the last time a movie so immediately and unmistakably marked itself as an Enduring Masterpiece, but “Into the Spider-Verse” absolutely pulled it off.
5.)
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Ordinarily, I would cheat and give this slot to the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy in its totality.  But somehow, the fact that this is about “FAVORITE” movies instead of just what we think the BEST one is compels me to narrow it down to just one.  And if I had to pick just one, it would be the first of the three, “Fellowship of the Ring”.  It’s not necessarily anything that the other two movies get wrong, either.  All three of the LotR movies possess many of its keenest strengths, after all.  For a starter, there’s the keen understanding of how best to adapt the source material without being enslaved to it; capturing many of its most iconic moments while cleverly tweaking elements to make them more cinematic, knowing what scenes to focus on for the sake of more clearly focusing the emotional through-lines of the story, and knowing what scenes, no matter how good on the page, ultimately don’t fit to the shape the adaptation has taken.  There’s also its pitch-perfect casting, each and every actor doing a fantastic job of embodying the characters so well that even as your personal vision of them from the books may differ radically from what is on-screen, they nonetheless end up feeling Right for the part and a strong, compelling presence.  And there’s the deft visual hand of director Peter Jackson, who knows exactly how to craft a Middle Earth that feels at once lived-in and real but also Fantastic and magical.  “Fellowship”, for me at least, thus wins out mostly because it has the good luck of being adapted from the strongest of the three books, the point at which the narrative is at its most unified and thus has the strongest overall momentum.  But also because so few movies have so swept me away with the sense of stepping into a world I have always dreamed of in my mind’s eye, and that’s the sort of thing that can only happen at the beginning of a journey.
4.) 
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Now here’s a movie that is literally sown in to my very being.  It’s the last movie my mother saw in theaters before becoming a Mom.  I grew up watching the “Real Ghostbusters” cartoon all the time and playing with the attendant toys; I had a “Ghostbusters” Birthday Party when I was, like, four years old.  It has been my annual Halloween Tradition to get myself a big Cheese Pizza and watch this movie for about as long as I’ve had disposable income to myself.  There is, quite literally, no point in my life where I don’t remember “Ghostbusters” being a fixture in it.  And as a nice bonus?  It is, legitimately, a Genuinely Great Movie.  I realize that isn’t quite as universally agreed upon these days as it was even a few years ago (thanks, Literally The Worst Kind Of Virulently Misogynist Assholes lD; ), but I still feel pretty confident in saying this one really is That Good.  I still find basically every one of its jokes hilarious; even now I could quote just about any one of them and get a laugh.  I still find its central premise, What If Exorcism Was A Blue-Collar Business, a brilliant, almost subversively clever one that takes The Supernatural out of the realm of The Unknowable and into a world where even you, an ordinary person off the street, can in fact fight back against it.  I still think it’s one of the all-time great examples of how to balance Tone in this sort of High Concept Genre Bender, by allowing The Story to be played relatively straight while allowing the comedy to flow naturally from the characters’ reactions to that story, allowing its Ghostly aspects to land as Genuinely Scary (or at least Worth Taking Seriously) without getting too Stern and Serious about it.  And I still listen to that unforgettable Title Song all the time!  So yeah, even if I could be more objective about it, “Ghostbusters” would almost certainly make this cut.      
3.) 
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And so we come to the third and last pick I have in common with @bunnikkila, not coincidentally a movie that played a key role in solidifying our friendship, as bonding over our shared love of it was a big part of how we got to know each other on deviantART waaaay back in the day <3
By 2008, I really didn’t think it was possible for a movie or comic or TV show to really become “part” of me anymore, the way things like Sonic the Hedgehog or Marvel Super Heroes or Some Other Movie Character Who Might Be At The Top Of This List had.  And then “WALL-E” came along and proved that to be completely, utterly wrong.  I didn’t just love this movie, I was inspired by it, to a degree of strength and consistency that I’m still not entirely sure has yet been matched.  And to be sure, some of that is undoubtedly because the movie had already basically won the war before I’d even bought my ticket; Adorable Robots In Love is something like My Platonic Storytelling Ideal, after all.  But even setting that aside, “WALL-E” is a movie where even now I can’t help but be keenly aware, and gently awed, at the beauty of its craft; indeed, watching this movie in a theater did a lot to make me better understand why movies work on us the way they do, because I left that theater chewing so much on every last one of its elements.  Its gorgeous animation, the way it conveys Character through Actions more so than language, the dream-like quality of its musical score (even as i type this i get teary thinking about certain motifs), the clear and meaningful way it builds its theme and story together so harmoniously, and the particular perspective it takes on our relationships with each other, with our environments, and with our own technology...all of it speaks to me deeply and profoundly, and it’s no coincidence that I have seen this movie more times in theaters than any other on this list (twelve times, for the record, and I still remember each and every time XD).
2.) 
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This one needs no personal qualifications, to my mind.  Yes, I have some degree of nostalgic attachment to it for having seen it relatively young with my brothers and being deeply moved by it then, but it’s not at all like the kind of Nostalgia I have for “The Lion King”.  “Princess Mononoke” is just flat-out, full-stop a complete Masterpiece, not just my personal pick for one of the single-best animated films ever made, but one of the best films period.  It’s almost difficult for me to put into words how great this movie is, certainly in a way that hasn’t been repeated to death by thousands of other smarter people, because no one of its elements quite answers the question of why it is so great, to my mind.  Yes, the animation is absolutely gorgeous with a design sensibility that brings Ancient Mythology to life so vividly that its influence can still be felt today (The Forest Spirit alone has been homaged all over the place).  And yes, the music is hauntingly beautiful, at once capturing the gentle rhythm of nature but also the elegiac tone of Life Moving On.  And yes, the story is an incredible mixture of the Broad Mythic Strokes of an Ancient Legend grounded in all too human Emotions and Ideas about the balance of nature, the full meaning and cost of Warfare, and perhaps most important of all, about how we determine Right and Wrong when everyone involved in a conflict is fighting simply for the right to survive.  But all of those things add up together to something even greater than a simple sum, because each one isn’t just good in its own right but because each element so perfectly reinforces the other.  And even having said all that?  I really could just carry on singing this movie’s praises.  Just...an absolute masterpiece, top to bottom.
1.) 
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I don’t imagine any of you are terribly surprised at this, right?  I almost feel like it’d be redundant to explain my love for this movie, given how self-obvious I imagine it is to basically everyone who knows me Literally At All.  But heck, I’ve rambled on this long, why not go all the way?  Because the thing of it is, “Gojira” (to be clear, the original Japanese movie from 1954 rather than its American edit, “Godzilla: King of the Monsters” from 1956) doesn’t just top the list by being a Great Movie.  Though to be clear, it really is.  Flawless?  No; there’s a reliance on puppetry that even for the time can be a bit chintzier than the movie can really afford, in particular.  But brilliant, even so, a heart-wrenching example of Science Fiction Storytelling As Allegory, one that, in a rarity not just for its own genre but indeed for many movies in general, very meaningfully lingers on its deepest, darkest implications.  Many a film critic has pointed it out, and it remains true: the stark black-and-white photography heightens the sense of Implacable Horror at the core of the story, and the way the central Melodrama, a tragic love triangle that carries with it many aspects of Class Conflict and Personal Desire VS. The Collective Good, ties back into the main story is truly beautiful in its elegance and emotional impact.  Still, for me personally, it tops the list, now and always, because it is a movie that affirmed something for me, that the character I had fallen in love with as a child convincing his family to watch a monster movie with him on television to prove his seven-year-old bravery, really was as genuinely as powerful and meaningful a figure as I had always imagined him to be. 
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leonaesque · 4 years
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Poetic Injustice: On Ateneo and Negotiating Complicity
To be a successful comprador is an art. Tony Tan Caktiong knows this. Given the scale at which multinational corporations influence Philippine culture, at this point, who are we to refute it? And how? Profit-seeking forces itself on us; to be recognized. Every mass-produced item of clothing featuring the pattern of an ever-smiling billion-dollar bee is indication enough: Art is execution. In fact, being the recipient of foreign capital requires deliberate hands able to maintain thousands upon thousands of labor-only contractual workers, despite their having worked at the same establishment for years on end. These workers produce what no middleman can. Yet a company will still view being bought-out by an industry giant as the ideal exit strategy. Each moving part makes for one striking image of monopoly– worthy, one might insist, of being featured in a gallery.
Jollibee Foods Corporations (JFC) acquires stakes or ownership of restaurant chains in order to expand, as it has done over the course of many years with local and foreign brands. Their current roster includes Greenwich, Chowking, Red Ribbon, Mang Inasal, Burger King PH, The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf, and Panda Express PH. The company also runs businesses internationally, such as Smashburgers in the United States, and Yonghe Dawang or Yonghe King in China.[1] Of course, the face of this massive undertaking remains the once tiny Magnolia-inspired ice cream store, Jollibee, now every business-oriented insect’s wet dream.
Ernesto Tanmiantong, brother and successor of Tony Tan Caktiong as Chief Executive Officer (CEO) of Jollibee Foods Corporation, is the latest former Chairperson of the Ateneo de Manila University Board of Trustees.[2] One can even find his name, along with his wife’s, gracing a first-floor exhibit hall of the Ateneo Art Gallery, found inside the university’s so-called creative hub, the Arete. In the months before the start of the first semester of S.Y. 2018-2019, Tanmiantong’s adorable, marketing-committee-approved buddy in white gloves and a chef’s hat took a trip to the then-newly inaugurated art gallery for a photo-op. The mascot then posed with several installments and paintings, a couple of which depicted farmers and workers.
According to the Department of Labor and Employment (DOLE), JFC is one of the most notorious businesses with regards to the perpetuation of the practice of contractualization.[3] Contractual workers are, according to law, not employed by– and, therefore, not the responsibility of– the company they provide labor to. Because of this, these workers do not receive benefits or compensation, are often subject to abusive working conditions, and are vulnerable to the shameless practice of mass termination. No doubt, the Public Relations stunt with the Ateneo Art Gallery was ill-timed; right at the height of protests against the corporation, in the midst of its non-compliance with the DOLE’s order to regularize upwards of 6,000 of its workers– there was Jollibee: tone-deaf and taking pictures to post on his Facebook profile, The Atenean Way.  
Ironically, as the statement by Ateneo’s School of Humanities Sanggunian (which condemned the incident) pointed out, perhaps even the person inside that oversized blinking head of the Jollibee mascot was a contractual worker, posing in a space that he might never have been able to enter without the cartoon-bee-mask of his exploitation.[4] Surely, it does not matter whether or not the institutional faux pas was an intentional case of art-washing. At least, it should not. Is there such a thing as art for art for art’s sake?
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There is this poem entitled “The Doomed” written by Mikael De Lara Co. A friend of mine recommended it to me once after a workshop session because my piece, he said, reminded him of it. I do not think my friend meant to insult me. Unless he did.
“The Doomed” is a poem about writing a poem, wherein the poet-persona is aware that, while he is writing poems about lilies, there is violence somewhere, which he is both physically and socially detached from. This violence is manifest into the shooting of Liberal Party supporter and candidate, Hamira Agcong, in 2010, as well as the infamous Ampatuan Massacre that occurred in 2009, where 58 people were kidnapped and killed.  
Where do poems fall under in the realm of social praxis (if at all)? “The Doomed” ends with the lines “I want to find beauty in suffering. / I want to fail.” Yet, the poem’s aestheticization of the murders via tone and imagery is blatant. The declarative rejection of an ideal like beauty or portraying beauty betrays the poet’s pretentiousness in what can only be his underlying conservativity. There is no attempt to avoid it. With lines like “You sit at your desk / to write a poem about lilies and a clip of 9mm’s / is emptied into the chest of a mother…” and “… a backhoe in Ampatuan crushes the spines of 57 / – I am trying to find another word for bodies”, it sounds as though these killings are more poetic material than actual, politically motivated deaths. Tell me, is the reader to blame for reading what is on the page? Mikael De Lara Co fails in failing, making the poem and its project a useless endeavor.
Despite the pointedly crafted grief into the persona’s voice, “The Doomed” does nothing to grieve the circumstances which brings about its dramatic situation. Why are people “doomed”, if not for the bureaucrat capitalists that viciously plot to stay in power? Could the poet not have addressed that, instead of weeping about his writing process? I do not believe that the poem would have failed that, at least, because all language inevitably fails in the face of social reality. That would be lazy, if it were not bullshit.
But I suppose that is why “The Doomed” fails, most of all: The poet believes it is fine to write speeches for a leader who allowed farmers and indigenous people to be harassed, as long as they could be tagged as members of the New People’s Army, the armed faction of the Communist Party of the Philippines. A text speaks, though the words are not on the page. So, the poet dooms.
Mikael De Lara Co has won many awards for his writing and translations, including the prestige-inducing Don Carlos Palanca Award for Literature. He graduated BS Environmental Science from Ateneo de Manila University, where he was once an editor of Heights, the school’s official literary publication. He has been published in many other magazines, literary journals, and the like, where his author’s notes proudly indicate all these accomplishments and more, such as having, himself, worked for the Liberal Party and once been a member of the former President Benigno Aquino III’s staff under the Presidential Communications Operations Office. Ergo, ghostwriter, alongside a number of other Ateneans who were also once part of Heights.
“Noynoy Aquino was a fascist” is a phrase that does not get said often enough. The Aquino administration, with its neoliberal policies the color of dehydrated piss, is credited with the starving thousands of farmers to death. Unsurprising, I suppose, for a family of landlords to inherit a disdain for the very hands that feed them. Corazon Cojuanco Aquino passed the Comprehensive Agrarian Reform Program (CARP) during her regime, and her son amended it with an extension and reforms (CARPer), making it even easier for land owners not to have to redistribute their lands at all.
For all its “Kayo ang boss ko” and “Daang Matuwid” pandering, the Aquino administration did not skimp on its counterinsurgency program, Oplan Bayanihan, which heavily drew from the U.S. Counterinsurgency Guide.[5] Here, it was farmers and Lumad, some of the most vulnerable sectors of Philippine society, that were tagged as rebels, terrorists, communists, etc., simply for knowing and standing for their rights, as the government failed to decimate actual armed revolutionaries in the countryside.
The massacre that took place under the Aquino administration occurred in Kidapawan, Cotabato on April 1, 2016. According to reports, among the group of 6,000 protesters that was mainly composed of farmers and activists, 116 were injured, 87 went missing, and 3 were killed.[6] Perhaps the lilies in “The Doomed” were a metaphor for De Lara Co’s beloved Noynoy.
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Speaking of Ateneo: For an institution that makes yearly claims to combat historical revisionism and uphold the memory of the victims of human rights violations under the Martial Law era, this university loves to slurp on major Marcos ass. In 2014, President Fr. Jose Ramon Villarin, SJ drew flack for having rubbed elbows with the iron butterfly herself, Imelda Marcos, at an Ateneo scholars’ benefactors’ event.[7] The mere thought of Imelda posing as a charitable, bloated cockroach in a wig that feasts on all that is lavish and garish, while the university welcomes her to do so is nearly comical. I imagine the blood.  
In 2019, a similar incident ensued[8], this time with Imelda’s daughter, Irene, whose art connoisseur lifestyle she lives second-hand. It was during the inauguration of the Arete’s amphitheater, named after Ignacio B. Jimenez, a crony of the corrupt family themselves.[9] Community backlash forced the building’s executive director, Yael Buencamino, to resign and for University President, Fr. Jose Ramon Villarin, SJ to issue a statement in response to the instance.
Yet, despite the triumph of Ateneans in demanding accountability for having the Marcoses at our literal and metaphorical dining table, there are also the Camposes, the Consunjis, the Lorenzos, and other local elite whose hands are stained with generational blood, that have established their presence in the campus with no near hopes of showing them out. Students could also be as loud as they pleased about the violations on workers’, farmers’, and national minorities’ rights that these families are frequently attached to, with only the answer of a warning that school organizations may lose sponsorship opportunities. What else can we expect? Of course, the names that line the halls that one studies in are the limits of academic freedom.
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A few semesters ago, I wrote a poem to be workshopped by my co-English staffers in Heights as part of our membership retention requirements. It was not a good poem, I know. It was about my experience of integrating with the striking workers of Sumifru, a multinational Japanese company that produces fruit, whose union was called NAMASUFA (Nagkahiusang Mamumuo sa Suyapa Farm). After struggling to get word out of their plight and facing violent dispersals and harassment, 200 workers came all the way from Compostela Valley to Metro Manila via boat and plane, despite the difficulties of travel due to the imposition of Martial Law throughout Mindanao. Their objective was to pressure the DOLE and its Secretary, Silvestre Bello III, into action; that is, to be firm in enforcing Sumifru’s compliance to regularize their workers, which the company refused to do even though the DOLE had legally recognized them as their workers’ employer. The workers set up camp in various places, such as Mendiola, Liwasang Bonifacio, and beside the Commission on Human Rights inside the University of the Philippines Diliman campus, and often welcomed students who came to learn about their cause.  
During the workshop, the discussion began with a silence and an awkward laugh. Political realism was how my poem was diagnosed, for obvious reasons. However, the main critique that I remember was that my use of language– the words multinational corporation and bureaucrat capitalists, in particular– did not induce the feeling of the struggle that the workers went through. It was not the language workers used or would use. I refuted this claim, saying I had talked to the workers. That this is exactly what they say. No, it is not poetic. It is real.
I agree, though, with the verdict that my poem was not good, if the basis were form. I agree because I do not think poems need to be good to say what is needed. If the basis were factors other than form, I still do not think the poem is good. I mean, either way, it does not change the fact that, ultimately, I only wrote a poem for a workshop, despite any intention of bringing awareness to NAMASUFA. Is a poem going to save them their jobs? Does that make a difference? Did it make a difference?
The Sumifru workers returned to Mindanao last July, 2019. I have left Heights as well.
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Within the Ateneo campus, a tarpaulin overlooks the red brick road that the entire Loyola Schools population traverses. The sign merits a purposeful, impossible-to-miss position on the old Rizal Library building, immortalizing the critique: “We find the Ateneo today irrelevant to the Philippine situation because it can do no more than to service the power elite.” Nothing could be more fitting, in my opinion. The Ateneo de Manila University’s commitment to performativity deserves to be blasted in our faces, if at least once a day.
This declaration was taken from the “Down from the Hill” manifesto published by The Guidon in November of 1968. The manifesto was written by a group of five students, namely Jose Luis Alcuaz, Gerardo Esguerra, Emmanuel Lacaba, Leonardo Montemayor and Alfredo Salanga, all of whom actively campaigned for an anti-imperialist orientation to nationalism.
I want to talk about Eman Lacaba. Throughout the Marcos regime, he was a student activist– a radical, so to speak, as disapproving administrative bodies might now label him. Presently, he is known for being a poet, revolutionary, guerilla, and a martyr during the Martial Law era. One of his most often discussed poems is “An Open Letter to Filipino Artists”, a piece that finds itself into syllabi like a de-fanged snake. The poem is a detailing of his experience as a cadre of the New People’s Army; the provinces he visits, his process of proletarianizing from a burgis boy to a communist rebel, and so forth. The epigraph of the work, a quote from Ho Chi Minh, affirms his praxis– “A poet must learn how to lead an attack.” The poem is the revolution that Lacaba takes up arms for. I guess now that he is dead, Ateneans can wholeheartedly claim him as one of their own.  
After the Martial Law era, Ateneo decided to create a body dedicated to the integration of its students with various disenfranchised sectors of society, as encouragement for their middle to upper-middle class youth to become more socially aware and active. The Office of Social Concern and Involvement (OSCI) is the current iteration of this. Their programs, from first year to fourth, require students to be socially involved enough to pass their Theology units. Commendable, no? Still. You can almost get sanctioned for so much as lighting candles for state-murdered farmers on the sidewalk by the gates outside of campus if it is not an Office of Student Activities-approved event– something I learned the hard way. I was not aware that bureaucracy was a key principle in Catholic Social Teaching.
So, does this mean the opposite of active non-violence is that which is inactively violent? The areas that OSCI allows their students to immerse in are carefully chosen, the interactions are prepared for in advance. In fact, they do not want to use the term “immerse” lest they be misconstrued with the damn leftists that climb mountains and “brainwash” unsuspecting poor people. You know, the ones that dare challenge the status-quo? Ateneo, or at the very least, its administration, will recognize the necessity of political action, but only to a certain extent. Nothing like Eman, the warrior-poet, whose militance is much too red to aestheticize.
The contradiction between what is said (marketed, poeticized, apologized for, etc.) and what is done should be scrutinized, instead of convincing ourselves that our interests are not merely our own. The dominant culture of a society will expose who supports those who hold political and economic power.  
[1] Cigaral (List: Brands operated by Jollibee Foods Corp.)
[2] (Leadership)
[3] Patinio (Jollibee tops list of firms engaged in labor-only contracting: DOLE)
[4] SOH Sanggunian (The Statement of the SOH Sanggunian on Jollibee's PR Stunt)
[5] Karapatan (OPLAN BAYANIHAN For Beginners)
[6] Caparas (WITH VIDEOS: 3 dead, 87 missing, 116 hurt as police fire on Cotabato human barricade)
[7] Francisco (Ateneo de Manila 'sorry' over Imelda's visit)
[8] Paris (Irene Marcos was invited to Ateneo, and students are up in arms)
[9] Rappler.com (Ateneo hit for art ampitheater named after Marcos 'dummy')
Works Cited
Caparas, Jeff. “WITH VIDEOS: 3 Dead, 87 Missing, 116 Hurt as Police Fire on Cotabato Human Barricade.” InterAksyon.com, 1 Apr. 2016, web.archive.org/web/20160402013745/interaksyon.com/article/125901/breaking--security-forces-open-fire-on-cotabato-human-barricade.
Cigaral, Ian Nicolas. “List: Brands Operated by Jollibee Foods Corp.” Philstar.com, The Philippine Star, 24 July 2019, www.philstar.com/business/2019/07/24/1937490/list-brands-operated-jollibee-foods-corp.
Francisco, Katerina. “Ateneo De Manila 'Sorry' over Imelda's Visit.” Rappler, 6 July 2014, www.rappler.com/nation/62549-ateneo-manila-imelda-marcos-apology.
Karapatan (Alliance for the Advancement of People’s Rights). OPLAN BAYANIHAN For Beginners, Karapatan, 2011.
“Leadership.” Leadership | Ateneo Global, global.ateneo.edu/about/leadership.
Paris, Janella. “Irene Marcos Was Invited to Ateneo, and Students Are up in Arms.” Rappler, 8 Apr. 2019, www.rappler.com/nation/227702-irene-marcos-invited-to-ateneo-students-protest-april-2019.
Patinio, Ferdinand. “Jollibee Tops List of Firms Engaged in Labor-Only Contracting: DOLE.” Philippine News Agency RSS, Philippine News Agency, 28 May 2018, www.pna.gov.ph/articles/1036679.
Rappler.com. “Ateneo Hit for Art Ampitheater Named after Marcos 'Dummy'.” Rappler, 21 Apr. 2019, www.rappler.com/nation/228633-ateneo-ignacio-gimenez-ampitheater-marcos-dummy.
“SOH Sanggunian.” SOH Sanggunian - The Statement of the SOH Sanggunian on..., 2 July 2018, www.facebook.com/sohsanggu/photos/a.157891440898864/1893103380710986/?type=3.
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invertedeidolon · 4 years
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The Longest Library #5: The Crying Sisters by Mabel Seely
(This is a series in which I attempt to read and review all (or most of) my library of 297 books.)
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Rundown: A librarian wishes for a little more excitement in her life and IMMEDIATELY regrets it. Goes to a resort with a stranger, hired to look after his kid. His kid is cute but he may or may not be a fucking literal murderer?? We don’t know!! 4/5, good suspense, great pacing, a steady read that won’t make you obsessively read for three days straight, but it will definitely overtake your lunch breaks.
This entry took me a little longer, not because it was a bad book, but because for roughly two or so weeks I got caught up in mental health shite and had to re-tweak my schedule YET AGAIN and force a half hour of reading in the mornings to make sure I actually had time to read. This book was wonderful.
I think this book marks the first actually good mystery I’ve ever read. Considering I never read mysteries, and the first one I read was catballs mcgee over here. There are some reviews that seem to be bothered by the authors occasional tendency to mention something and then go “I had no idea that would be so important at the time”. Personally, I loved it. It put me in a further state of suspense, and it had me attempting to put more things together. There’s not enough info to pin one person down, and the really obvious choice is a REALLY obvious choice, and the main heroine constantly agonizes over it, so you know the book wouldn’t do THAT, but still... what if? The very last resort my mind ended up going to in a lazy scooby doo kind of way ended up being right, but the intricacies of their place in the whole plot was still a surprise.
No, the super conservative prude witch lady had absolutely nothing to do with any of it, she was just unpleasant.
A really cool thing about this book, at least the copy that I have, is that it’s a reprint from 1944, during the war. There’s a little note in the front about book cloth shortage because of war-time rationing (you can see it in my instagram post here). So instead it was bound in a ‘sturdy paper fabric’ instead. That, plus the aging of the paper, give it a really smooth and airy feel, for a book. I love holding this thing.
Okay, onto quotes.
We already start off strong with the writer’s description of oppressive summer heat:
“In the afternoon I was a cooking waffle between two irons, the steely paving and the chromium sky; heat from below pressed up and heat from above pressed down until the juice oozed out of my bones and each eye was a separate furnace”
Hot damn that’s a HOT day.
“My imagination worked overtime a bit, but the last thing I would ever have thought was that that revolver would come into my possession”
There’s that hinting that people were talking about. But it wasn’t useless or meandering. This line appears on page seven and become EXTREMELY pertinent by the end of the story. I don’t mind hinting if it isn’t useless without giving too much away. We have no idea about the circumstances of how she gets the gun, but all we know is that she gets it, and that’s just a tiny bit exciting already. The author putting a little foreshadowing in front of us directly didn’t bother me because not only was it immediately relevant (usually within a chapter or so), but also relevant in an even more significant way by the end of the book.
“...if Cottie calls me mamma, then anyone who hears him will think I’m your wife.” “I won’t.” It was cold enough to douse me the rest of the way back to sanity. “I’m sorry, I’ve changed my mind. I‘m not going.” His answer came with the tired reasonableness of a construction boss rebuking a steel riveter who complains he is afraid of high places. “Aw, quit being a sissy pants.” Sissy pants! Before I could recover he had elbowed me aside, and was inside my car.”
What the FUCK. What a little shit! Holy fuck! This man makes me feel offended and incredulous like an amish spinster looking at capri pants! Like what the fuck!!!!
“I can see, now, how expertly he handled me, how exactly he conveyed the right amount of disinterest in me, how he goaded me into staying.”
This man is a fucking EXPERT at manipulating the heroine. Your own mind sort of starts to soften to him the further you read, because like the heroine, in the beginning there’s no reason to like or tolerate the man, but as you go on, it becomes a necessary evil if you want to figure out what the FUCK is going on. I also started to get just as curious as to who he really was and what business he had at the resort. (by the end of the book I came to understand it’s a lot like how Kain had to handle Raziel: You can’t reveal too much or you risk your plans going astray, but for fuck’s sake Kain, you could be way less of an ass about it, you know?)
“Whatever had been done in the resort tonight, for whatever reason a woman had screamed, he was staying. The cot creaked lengthily as he lay down. I tried, with an effect of pressing a lid down on a kettle that bubbled and boiled over, to suppress my expectant terror.”
Damn that’s a good description of that feeling. I used to get that way when I heard stuff at night and my (at the time) untreated, panic prone brain immediately went “IT’S A CRIMINAL, A MURDERER, A CRIMURDERER, YOU MOVE AND YOU DIE”
“Mrs. Clapshaw carried herself like a small dragoon and had a nose like a thin white claw. I thought she’d be the acid test. “A scream?” She repeated rapidly, reaching upward with the nose. “Mrs. Corbett, I’m so glad you heard it. It’s the Reds. I’ve told Mr. Loxton here. There are un-American activities going on at that Flaming Door. Nazis.” She bit at her decisive words as they went past her teeth.”
Oh my god. Thankfully we don’t really deal with this lady for long, but holy fuck. The heroine wisely doesn’t spend any more time with her on purpose.
“You can decide to treat me like a person or I leave. I don’t like being pushed over or taunted or overruled or spoken to contemptuously. I can leave here today. It’s my car.” “Sure. Why don’t you?” Why is it that being invited to make good on a threat makes you want to change your mind? As usual when I’m pushed over the edge of anger, I couldn’t find words, and stood sputtering.”
The thing about Steve (this asshole’s name is Steve) is that he doesn’t force her to stay. He makes it quite clear in his smug little way that she always had the choice to leave at literally any time, and many times gives her orders knowing full well she can very well disobey them (and she does at times). She has a gun. Why doesn’t she shoot him? Go to the sheriff? But just. God. The man is infuriating and uncomfortably manipulative, but when immersed in the book, it becomes something mildly amusing, although the real world implications and usage of this kind of manipulation are sobering. The curiosity overrode everything else.
“I didn’t know how difficult it was going to be to keep out of Mr. Sprung’s way, or for what a long section of the chain he was going to be responsible.”
Another hint. The heroine frequently refers to the thread of the mystery as a chain (i.e: Chain of events), and it’s used fairly frequently through the book, sometimes in creative ways. There’s a moment where she realizes she’s reached the point of no return, that she’s in too deep, and goes on to describe how she can feel the chain whipping around her and binding her.
“Something would come of this night business now. I had in an instant a hundred blinding expectations -- a shot through the door, harsh angry voices calling to open, Steve Corbett rushing to attack the source of the light, men tramping in to say he was caught. My internal arrangements drew out into a rope and then tied themselves into one tight knot as I sat there with all animation suspended.”
Night noises be like that though. Man, these descriptions of the heroine’s internal reactions to things have been excellent!
“I’d heard that thin, high tone before. I’d heard it walking along a country road with telephone wires over my head and a wind in the wires. It was eerie in the wires. It was deadly in the man’s voice.”
“The boy was the man’s son, and the man loved him almost with agony. Yet last night he had walked out of the cottage into some circumstance he thought might be so dangerous he might never come back.”
“Suddenly I was shaking again, clutching Steve Corbett’s arm. He wasn’t shaking, but the muscles hardened as my fingers grasped; it was like touching a sleeve holding a warm marble arm. Had this been the arm I fought against last night?”
“The eyes above me had the same blue-metal gleam as the revolver’s mouth.”
The author does a fantastic job of making Steve Corbett seem like a very threatening potential murderer, nearly everything around him is foggy, suspicious, and mildly threatening in it’s implications, and yet there’s never enough solid evidence to truly pin anything on him. Both myself and the heroine could only stand by and watch further with a distinct sense of unease as everything unfolded both too quickly and not quickly enough.
“If tampering with the truth was illegal, the sheriff was a bit unlawful himself. “She couldn’t see, it was black as pitch,” Niddie denied weakly. “So there was something to see!” Niddie wasn’t the stuff of Hoxie Moebbels; once the sheriff had an opening wedge he weakened quickly.”
I like the sheriff a lot.
“I had hardly heard her. The corner of my eye had caught the stubby white patent-leather sandals on her feet. Caught between the heel and the instep of one sandal was a dry scrap of plantain leaf.”
So, something that annoyed me a little bit in the last mystery, was that the glimpses of suspicion raising evidence sometimes didn’t mean anything. They’re were just like ‘ooooo, suspicious!!!! It MEANS something!!!’. Here the narrator (our heroine) seems way more credible, relatable, and the events preceding it turns this into a massive clue. AND it’s later actually relevant, and NOT evidence of the heroine being (understandably) paranoid!
“If ever there was an evil-eyed harridan, I thought, she was it. I wondered what had built the immense familiarity with the worst impulses of men, that lay in her eyes, the thickness of her slow, significant voice, the turn of her hands, the slide of her thick hips.”
Another good description of yet another extremely suspicious person.
“We called hello in return, Carol prinking and smiling.”
Autocorrect can’t tell me that’s not a word.
prink /priNGk/ verb spend time making minor adjustments to one's appearance; primp. "prinking themselves in front of the mirror"
Ah, so nowadays we would more readily recognize ‘primping’ as opposed to this one. Nice! I learned a new word!
“In a white rayon bathing suit her figure was as plushly luscious as an overstuffed pink satin davenport.”
So she’s cute chubby! Nice! I assume this is roughly the era or coming from a writer from an era that was just on the edge of where being ‘too skinny’ was a REALLY bad thing.
“Look, Janet.” It was the first time he’d used my name.”
213 pages in. What a piece of work.
“Wasn’t it too bad I couldn’t be placated by an ice-cream cone, I thought grimly, as I went to obey orders.”
Me too, Janet. Me too.
“This was the sheriff to whom I held with the emotion portrayed by the girl in the old oleograph of the storm swept cross.”
If anybody knows what painting this is, that would be fantastic. I can only barely imagine it based on context, but that’s about it.
The quotes and the commentary are more sparse here at the end because I don’t want to give too much away. 
This was a book that I genuinely enjoyed, and I could easily recommend it for some casual but still absorbing reading. They still print this book in paperback now, so it shouldn’t be too hard to find, it’s just me that has the old as balls copy. 
Good shit!
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akamaiden · 5 years
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Entertainer (2)
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A/N: Second chapter is finally here, guys! I’d like to thank to anyone who reblogged and took a time to leave me some feedback, honestly you guys are the best. I hope you enjoy this chapter.
Pairing: Ivar x Reader (Modern!AU)
Warnings: None I think.
Words: 1.720.
Read previous part here // My masterlist
Weeks passed since you met Ivar and there wasn’t a day that him didn’t cross your mind. You know he had your number, but you didn’t stop asking yourself why he didn’t call you yet, or even just sent a fucking message. Anxiety was literally getting the best from you. You didn’t sleep peacefully, you just ate the enough to keep your body standing, the boy literally got you obsessed right in the first meeting.
“Hey! I’m talking to you” Laila said to you.
“What?” you asked focusing on her presence for the first time in the night.
“God, were you even listening to me?” she asked.
“Sorry,” you mumbled. “What were you trying to say?” you said.
“Forget it. Why are you acting strange those days?” she asked.
You took a long breath before saying, “Remember that ridiculous handsome man that came here one of those days?”
She nodded and you continued, “When you went away he offered to drive me home and I accepted-”
“Are you fucking crazy? He could be a damn psycho, you could be dead by now! Doesn’t your mother talked about not talking to strangers?”
You rolled your eyes at her reaction, ignored and continued talking “We talked a lot meanwhile and I don’t know, I feel like I already know him for ages. Does it makes sense?”
“Y/N, don’t lie to me, are you using any type of drug?” Laila asked genuinely worried,
“What? No!” you said like that was obvious.
“So you’re saying that you fell in love for a man that you just saw once?”
Once your mind processed her words, you understood why you couldn’t think in anything else but Ivar. God, you were in love with him and you knew so little from him, yet if it was needed you would do anything for him.
“I’m such a dumbass sometimes,” you said hiding your face in the palm of your hands.
“I wouldn’t say sometimes, my dear, but I got your point.” Laila said clearly trying to light up the mood.
“Hey,” she said holding your hands. “This guy would be a dickhead if he didn’t call you, maybe he’s just busy with work, I don’t know. Give him a time,” she continued.
“Do you think so?” you asked.
She nodded before saying, “Now put on a fake smile in your gorgeous face because soon this place will be crowded.”
God, you wished she was wrong. But that night looked like you were serving the entire population of your city, so when the time came you were happy that you were going home. You said goodbye to Laila and started making your way to the subway station when suddenly a black jaguar stopped at your side. You would ignore it if the person inside didn’t honk at you.
You looked at the car and before you ask yourself what the fuck was happening, the window rolled down and you saw the man that was hunting down your thoughts smiling at you.
“Hi Ivar,” you said.
He didn’t answer you, he just opened the door of the passenger side for you and you glady entered his car.
“Hi gorgeous,” he said.
You looked at him hesitantly you didn’t know what you should do next, kiss him in the cheek, hug him or whatever. Glady Ivar lead the way when he came closer to you and kissed the very corner of your mouth. You thought you would faint right when his scent overflowed your senses, his presence was so strong that just the simple act made your heart beat faster.
“I thought you’d call me,” you said.
Ivar noticed the hint of sadness and maybe neediness in your voice.
“I know I should’ve done this but life went crazy and I just came back from Italy,” he said like Italy was the closest neighbourhood.
“And why are you here? Shouldn’t you be resting?” you asked.
“Indeed I should but I needed to see you,” he said.
“Ivar-”
“During the trip there wasn’t a fuckin day that I didn’t think of you. Fucking hell, I even dreamed of you,” he continued.
And then you let it go. The next thing you remember was that you kissed Ivar. You touched his lips with yours, pulling him closer to you by his coat, you melted when you felt how plump and soft were his lips. And God, they felt amazing against yours.
Honestly, you didn’t want that precious moment to end, you wished that the world have stopped just for the two of you. Ivar managed to bite your bottom lip what made you moan and giving him space to guide his tongue inside your mouth. His tongue danced with your for what felt like hours. When breathing became a necessity you broke the kiss.
“Yeah, I’ve been wanting to do this too,” he said smiling.
“I wish things were different,” you said feeling guilty, because even that Ivar didn’t love his wife he still had a compromise to her and owned her fidelity.
“Trust me, me too,” he said and caressed your cheek lightly. “Can I take you to a special place now?” he asked.
“You can take me anywhere you want,” you said.
You saw Ivar’s eyes shining with excitement before he said, “I’ll keep that in mind.”
As you two made your way to God knows where, you keep talking to him and little by little Ivar revealed to be even more interesting.
Suddenly Ivar stopped at the most isolated spot of the most beautiful park. He guided you to one of the benches and opened his arms to you. You nestled between his arms and sighed happily once his arms envolved your body. Again, you felt like your body fitted his perfectly. Your head was right over his shoulders and he was caressing your arms.
You two stayed in silence for a long time, it wasn’t the uncomfortable type of silence, actually it was just a relaxing moment. You two were observing the full moon that brighten beautifully in the sky.
“Can I ask you something?” you asked once the curiosity took the best of you.
“Anything,” he answered immediately.
“Why did you marry her?” you asked.
You felt Ivar shifting in his place and taking a deep breath before answering, “I needed to marry her. Basically, it was for the sake of my family’s business. We were almost broke because one of our projects with parisian partners didn’t work out. My father knew her father and he asked for some money, you know like a loan, and he said that he could literally give the money if I married her daughter. She used to have a crush on me since, well, always and then I’m here stuck in this failed marriage.”
“Did you try to make it work?” you asked.
“At first, yes. She’s beautiful after all but it turned awfully. She’s disgusting, isn’t the type of woman I’d like to grow old with,” he started. “And that’s why I’m doing the impossible to save all the money her father gave to our company so I can get rid of her,” he continued.
“Sounds like a good plan,” you said smiling.
“I don’t imagine why you like so much,” he said cynically and then he kissed your neck making a shiver pass through your body.
“What about me Ivar? What do I mean to you?” you asked cautiously.
“A fresh new start. The start of something great, of a happy life maybe. I hope we’re in the same page,” he said.
You got out of his embrace and turned your eyes to him, “Maybe it sounds insane but I don’t think that’s anything that would make me more happy.”
“Maybe it sounds a bit insane, but I couldn’t care less,” he said.
He guided his hands to your waist and he pulled you closer, until there was no space between your bodies. He kissed you softly this time, like he was savouring you. Your hands found his neck and you melted on his arms. Before you could think coherently you were straddling him, rolling your hips against his crotch and gaining from him a few grunts. You could felt him getting harder against you and you knew you were getting wetter too.
“Ivar,” you mewled.
“I want you,” he said with his eyes darker overflowing lust.
“I’m yours,” you said.
And then his phone started ringing interrupting that beautiful moment.
“I’m sorry I have to-”
“It’s okay,” you said.
“Hi Ragnar,” he said.
You watched Ivar for probably the hundred time and honestly, you could spent entire days looking at his gorgeous features.
“Yeah, I’m on my way,” he said and then he hung up.
“Any problem?” you asked.
“Yes, my mother is the hospital, more precisely she’s in a coma,” he said.
“I’m sorry Ivar,” you said.
“I gotta go,” he said.
“Yeah of course,” you said getting up.
Even that you tried to reason with Ivar that you could catch an Uber, he insisted in driving you home and you made a mental note that it was useless discussing with him.
You gave him a soft kiss before you entering your home and as soon that you closed the door you heard his car engine speeding up.
Message me if you want. You texted him genuinely concerned about him and his mother.
On that night you couldn’t find any sleep and you spent the entire night looking at your phone but Ivar didn’t send you one message. You were about to finally sleep when your phone started ringing. It was him.
“Hey,” you said softly.
“What’s your blood type?” he asked.
“AB why?” you asked.
“My mother needs a blood donation and you have the same blood type,” he said.
“Okay, I’m catching an uber. Message me with the hospital address,” you said hanging up.
You quickly took your PJ’s off and wore literally the first clothes you landed your eyes at before catching an Uber and going to the hospital to meet Ivar. What a good way to be introduced to his family, you thought to yourself.
“Here we go,” you said once you entered the hospital. Deep inside you were with a bad feeling. But you ignored your anxiety and made your way anyways.
Tagging:  @therealcalicali @hallowed-heathen @cbouvier23 @nothingeverdies @grungyblonde @alicedopey @ivarslittlebadgirl @ivarlothbroks @ivarswickedqueen @laketaj24 @ivarsshieldmadien @holydream @moondustmemories @readsalot73 @stanclub @floatautumnleaf @flokidottir-imagines-br @thisishowdynastiesareborn @attorneyl @queen-see-ya-in-valhalla @meeeeeeeeeps-deactivated2019050 @dangerousvikings @feistybaby @ivaraddict @ivarsrideordie @lisinfleur @winchesterwife27 @missrandomista @moose-squirrel-asstiel @dewy-biitch @captstefanbrandt @xxmaddhatterrxx @sebbyismybby @to-the-road @alexa4040 @fangirlandsarcastic @littledeadrottinghood
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thepetulantpen · 5 years
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Modern AU/Kindness
(Hey I know this event is literally over but I finally finished day 6 of @mollymauklivesfest so I’m posting it now. Better late than never?)
Molly’s general rule of thumb is to leave the world a little better than how he found it.
And a little more chaotic.
Typically, he’s found, in order to achieve both of those things, one will eventually be on the run from the cops.
Which he is now.
As he nearly gets run over for the third time that night, diving across traffic and into an alley where he leaps onto a dumpster and scales an apartment complex, he takes a rare moment of reflection to think about how he ended up in this position.
It either started with the kids who tried to rob him or the racist elven lady, depending on how much faith you put in Molly’s moral code.
...
When a bony hand reaches into his purse, Molly stops and fidgets with his phone for a bit to give the kid a better chance. He may not be the most observant person, but even he saw the three dirty, skinny children sneaking up behind him.
He’s not exactly made of money- he reads fortunes, for gods’ sake- but he can spare something to give to people even less fortunate than him. Whatever they can swipe, they’ve earned.
When Molly dies in Crossy Road, he moves on and the kids scatter, back to whatever alley they crawled out of. He wishes he could help more, but they’re just three of many in this city.
It probably won’t keep him up at night, but it does distract him long enough to not look where he’s going, long enough to trip over an older elven lady. Old enough to look old, which means she must be ancient.
“Sorry-“
Molly cuts himself off at the look on her face, needlessly shocked and disgusted. He knows what that means.
There’s no major freak out, which is nicer than previous encounters of similar types, but she does mutter “demon” as she crosses the street in a hurry. She’s dramatically rubbing at the front of her shirt, as if Molly might’ve gotten a bit of his Infernal on her.
He’s gotten it before, gotten it far worse. It probably won’t keep him up at night.
That might’ve been the end of it, if Molly wasn’t Molly.
The shiny pearls around her neck and the gold bracelets on her wrist give him an idea.
And that is what’ll keep him up at night.
...
Caleb wakes at 3:34 am to the sound of his phone buzzing violently against his nightstand. He grabs for it blindly, wondering which of his dumb friends could be calling at this time of night.
The screen lights up too bright in the dark, washing over his face and making his eyes squint to adjust. ‘Robin Hood’, Molly’s chosen nickname on Caleb’s phone, is calling, which would’ve earned Caleb money if he’d bet on it. These sorts of calls are Molly around 80% of the time.
He lets it ring for a few seconds, pretending to debate taking the call. He promises to himself that if this isn’t an emergency, he’ll kill Molly, but it’s an empty promise, one he never keeps when Molly calls him high or horny or just bored.
He answers the call.
“This had better be good, Mollymauk.”
There’s a huff, some shuffling, and the sounds of a busy street on the other end of the call before Molly finally speaks, out of breath.
“Yeah, yeah it’s an emergency, actually,” he grunts and Caleb hears something slamming against metal, “Are you still friends with that guy in Nicodranas?”
Caleb sits up in bed and rubs his eyes. He really doesn’t need this, at 3:36 in the morning.
“Friends is a strong word.”
Caleb can practically hear the eye roll on the other end of the line, but he ignores it because Molly has no right to be annoyed with him, when he’s calling at 3:37 in the morning.
“Associate, acquaintance, whatever. Will he still help you cross the border?”
“Molly, what-“ Caleb sighs and shakes his head. He’d been fine when they talked last week. “What could you have possibly done in the last few days that makes this necessary? No, no, don’t tell me, I want plausible deniability. Just, how soon do you need to leave?”
“Well-“ Molly starts but is cut off by the blare of police sirens and his own footsteps against the pavement. When the noise fades a bit, he asks, “Does that answer your question?”
Caleb groans, standing to grab his coat and books. It’s going to be another long fucking night.
“Unfortunately, yes. Can you hold out till morning?”
He can imagine Molly grinning on the other end, feels the sharp energy of it through the receiver.
“Have I ever given you reason to doubt my skills?”
...
After about the third rich person party he’d robbed, Molly starts to think he’s getting in a little too deep.
But he’s got a bag full of jewelry and other useless expensive trinkets and he’s driving to yet another pawn shop, so he’s committed for now.
Emerging with a wad of cash is pretty satisfying and spending it on a car full of non perishable meals and blankets eliminates all doubt and conflicting feelings from his mind.
This whole scheme has gotten pretty ridiculous and is starting to take way too much planning- he’s had to research parties and fake identities and pawn shops. It shouldn’t have been this elaborate when the premise seemed so easy: steal from the rich, give to the poor. But bullshitting your way into parties without a plan is risky, and selling hoards of jewelry to the local pawn shop every week is a sure way to get investigated and arrested.
It’s a lot of work, more work and planning than Molly typically participates in, but it’s worth it. The people who attend these kind of parties are the perfect sort of uptight that provides endless entertainment, and pretending to be rich (or even royalty, on one occasion) is not only fun but empowering. Nobody dares question guests at these parties, he could tell them he got banished from a pirate island and they’d nod politely while sipping champagne.
Some people would say it’s exhausting pretending to be someone else, but not Molly. For him, it’s exhilarating to weave lie after increasingly ridiculous lie- and it’s not hard either. Rich Molly is just Molly but worse and more shiny.
He will say that the best part isn’t the parties or the lies. It’s now, as he rolls up to one of the dark alleys in the worst part of town and finds the sad little camps of boxes and torn blankets.
The kids don’t approach him, watching warily as he sets down his offerings of food and other supplies from Dollar Tree. It’s the most he could get with the money he made, plus his efforts in bargain hunting and buying in bulk. They’ll eat and be warm for months, hopefully.
This camp is just one in a series of stops he’ll make today, grim reminders of the desolate conditions the poor of Zadash live in. He’s determined to keep up this act until every one of the kids in this city has gotten their share of its wealth. Or until he’s arrested.
One of the bigger kids comes out first, opening up cans of fruit for the little kids and passing out blankets. He waves to Molly, a small gesture of thanks before he turns his attention to his charges.
Molly waves but doesn’t stop long, heading back to his car before he gets wrapped up in a conversation. He has more work to do, if he’s going to make this city better.
...
Caleb rubs at his eyes again, trying to make them focus on the map through the haze of his exhaustion and shakiness of Molly’s shitty driving.
They almost go airborne on a bump in the road and Caleb scrambles to keep hold of his books.
“Scheisse, Molly. Easy on the gas pedal, I need to make sure we’re going the right way.”
Molly nods absently, eyes darting in between the windshield and rear view mirror, watching fervently for any sign of authorities. Caleb’s contact in Nicodranas has outlined the fastest, most discreet route over the border, but these things can change so fast that there’s never any true guarantees of safety. At least he has Caleb here to navigate and steer him out of trouble. If anyone can bail Molly out of a jail cell, it’ll be Caleb.
“Left here.”
Moly turns the wheel too hard, taking the turn as sharp as he can. Caleb is holding onto the armrests for dear life and staring at Molly in disbelief. It’s a wonder to Caleb that they haven’t died yet, with Molly being as impulsive in driving as he is in life. He should’ve called Fjord and made him give them a ride.
“You’re just going to attract more attention if you drive so fast,” Caleb pauses as he watches the meter lower a little closer to the speed limit, he’s got to find a way to distract Molly from the high speed chase he’s envisioning, “Finish telling your story, I’m dying to know how your flawless plans could’ve been outsmarted.”
...
Picking pockets is not a terribly difficult art. Some can do it masterfully, some are abysmal at it, but most can do a decent job and grab a few things without trying their luck.
Molly falls into the last category, but he’s too stubborn for his own good. He just has to get that last bracelet.
The woman he’s robbing, a respectable, no nonsense businessperson, looks down at Molly when his hands slip. He manages to not only screw up his extraction of the bracelet, but also drop the rest of her jewelry to the ground with a loud series of clinks.
Molly only has time for an abashed smile before he’s leaving a tiefling shaped cloud of dust behind him and utilizing his other talent: running.
There’s an broken window, a two story climb, and a crash through some overly manicured hedges, then he’s hitting the pavement and diving down the nearest alley as sirens wail in the distance.
He stops to heave in a few breaths, preparing for a chase, and that turns out to be a mistake as the guards for the party are smarter and faster than he thought. There’s shouting and uniforms so he makes a quick decision, jumping up—
“I can’t believe you. We had to leave the country because you suddenly became a bigger kleptomaniac than Nott?”
“Technically,” Molly smiles at Beau across the table from him, “you didn’t have to leave. This is just your excuse for a vacation.”
Beau crosses her arms and returns the shit-eating grin. “But I couldn’t leave my best friend to fend for himself in his run from the police.”
Molly is going to fire back, maybe bring up the time they had to evacuate a town because of something Beau did (they can never go back to Trostenwald) but Jester walks in carrying a tray of cookies and he’s sufficiently distracted.
“Look what my mama had the cooks bake!”
Jester giggles as Beau and Molly immediately pounce on the plate, competing to build the biggest cookie pile. She grabs a cookie from Beau’s pile and sits down with them, smiling with crumbs in her teeth.
“Since we’re sort of trapped here until the police forget about Molly-“
“Trapped is such a strong word.”
“-then we’ll have to plan a bunch of beach days to fill time. We’ll get to drag Caleb out there and we could invite Nott’s family, I’m sure Yeza would love to see the ocean!”
Jester’s words become indistinct as Molly zones out, happy to enjoy this moment with friends despite the circumstances that landed him here.
It’s a happy ending really, and some good karma from the world at last. He did something good by doing something bad and now he gets to hang out at the beach with his friends- his family.
Gods, he can’t wait to goad Caleb into buying swim trunks in the most atrocious pattern possible.
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New York, New York Chapter 2
Summary: After a chance meeting at an interview, Tom becomes involved with a woman while in New York filming the Avengers. 
Pairing: Tom Hiddleston/OFC
Read it on AO3 here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1504970/chapters/3178469
        A quick cab ride later, Tom and Anna entered the famous eatery. After getting their food, they sat in a corner booth hoping to stay under the radar. As they sat, the sun came out from behind the clouds and graced their table with warmth.
      “So how are you enjoying the city?” Anna asked, trying to seem casual as she took a bite of her sub. Yes, because I always invite handsome men to lunch.
      “-been here for over a year. I haven’t had much time to reacquaint myself.” Tom said before taking a bite himself. Anna nodded politely, pretending she hadn’t been off in her own little world.
      “That’s no fun. There are so many amazing things here. I’d be happy to show you around a bit if you like.” She offered kindly.
      “That would be lovely, thank you,” Tom said from behind his napkin, smiling widely as he looked back up at her. “I don’t imagine there would be a better guide than a native.”
      “Well there’s always Dora the explorer, but somehow I think she’d be rather useless in this case.” Anna joked, giggling with Tom.
      “No, she wouldn’t be very helpful. I don’t much fancy singing ‘backpack, backpack’ whilst walking around Manhattan.” Tom laughed.
      “Oh but you’d fit in so well!” Anna giggled. “Downright normal compared to some. Us New Yorkers are…odd, to put it politely.”
      “Not to mention your famous tempers.” Tom grinned. “Yeah…I’m probably the nicest tour guide you’re gonna find in this city.”
      “And for that I am grateful,” Tom inclined his head before taking a drink. “So tell me about you. I have to say I’m immensely curious about what it is you actually do.”
      “Oh,” Anna grinned. “Mostly I work with couples that are dealing with intimacy issues, but I do liaison with the prison facilities on time to time.”
      “The prisons?” Tom asked incredulously. “What exactly do you do there?”
      “Nothing too terrifying. I interview the inmates when they arrive, throughout their sentences and before they’re released.”
      “I’m assuming the ones guilty of sex crimes.” Tom said grimly.
      “Correct. I’m only called in as a specialist when there are certain…behaviors exhibited by the perp.”
      “Doesn’t that frighten you?” Tom asked. “I know I would be uncomfortable at the very least.”
      “Not really no,” Anna shook her head. “There are two guards outside the room at all times, and the inmates are always handcuffed. It’s all in how you present yourself. If you show fear they will try to intimidate you.” She explained. Tom nodded wordlessly, lost in thought.
      “What exactly do you mean by intimacy issues? I’m sorry to ask so many questions but it’s a profession I know very little about.”
      “It’s alright, people are always curious. My main focus is on people involved in the BDSM lifestyle but I have clients with issues ranging from erectile dysfunction to sex addiction. Some of them are recovering from sexual assault,” Anna replied casually. She paused when Tom didn’t say anything. “I’m not making you uncomfortable am I? I’m so used to talking about these things with my colleagues that it doesn’t occur to me sometimes that others might be extremely shy in this area.”
      “No, no, it’s fine,” Tom gave her a reassuring smile. “I’m not sure I could do that. Not just the prison part but all of it. Does it ever get under your skin? I mean-actually, don’t answer that. That was very rude of me. It’s none of my business.”
      “It’s fine; people ask me that more than you’d think,” Anna smiled. “No, it doesn’t ‘get under my skin’, but I will say that things get…interesting when a surrogate is brought in.”
      “A surrogate?” Tom asked hesitantly. “Do I want to know?” he asked dubiously.
      “It’s not as bad as everyone thinks!” Anna laughed. “Surrogates typically only work with couples that are having intimacy issues like non-consummation. They act as a third party with me and a client to help them achieve a number of intimacy goals.”
      “How so?” Tom asked.
      “It varies,” Anna shrugged. “A surrogate’s interaction with a client is typically only talking them through a certain act, but it can include intimate contact or even sex.” Tom stared at her blankly, eyes wide and disbelieving, and she had to fight back a chuckle.
      “And you…watch?” he asked quietly, hesitation dripping from every syllable.
      “Yes.” Tom groaned, running a hand over his face.
      “How do you consider that ‘not that bad’? Good God woman, how does it not get to you?”
      “It’s my job!” Anna laughed. “I can’t very well help someone get over their problems if I’m not observing them. Besides, it wouldn’t be very ethical to fantasize about my patients.”
      “Well no, of course not, but…do you not have a sex drive at all?” Tom laughed, taking another drink of his water.
      “Of course I do. That’s what vibrators are for.” Anna said calmly, glancing at Tom in alarm when he spat out his water. “Shit I’m so sorry! I told you, I literally have no filter. I always forget most people aren’t as open as I am.”
      “It’s fine,” Tom croaked, coughing awkwardly to clear his throat. “Maybe we should talk about something else.” He coughed hoarsely.
      “Right. Sorry again, I have no tact. How on earth did we get on this topic anyway?” Anna chortled. “Jeez, we only met a few hours ago and here we are talking about sex.”
      “I’m not sure,” Tom shook his head, grinning lightly. “I have one more question, and then we’re changing the subject.”
      “Deal.” Anna laughed. “I’ll let you pick the next one.”
      “Actually, I’m the cause of all this,” Tom smiled apologetically. “For the sake of sanity I think you should pick next.”Anna laughed.
      “Fine. Question?” She asked, waiting patiently as Tom debated asking his question.
      “I hope you don’t think me too forward, but I am extremely curious…did you truly enjoy me pulling your hair?” Tom asked and Anna chuckled nervously, glancing away for a moment before turning her eyes on him.
      “You have no idea.” she admitted, a blush creeping along her cheek bones, much to his enjoyment.
      “Enlighten me.” he requested with a sassy smirk and Anna blanched, curling her lips inward before giving a small laugh. “It’s just one of those things…let me put it this way: if I was guy…instant boner,” she said and Tom couldn’t help but laugh at her boldness. To think he’d put this lovely woman in such a state…he was enthralled. “And since we’re being honest I’m just gonna lay it out there…I think you’re incredibly sexy.” It was Tom’s turn to choke on his drink (again); he’d not been expecting that in the least.
      “Thank you for that,” he chuckled nervously. “You’re quite lovely.” he replied safely.
      “Are you trying to tell me I’m sexy?” Anna teased.
      “Only if you want me to.” Tom smiled cheekily and Anna laughed at his charm.
      “Yes please.” she asked sweetly with a smile of her own.
      “Well since you asked so nicely…you are very sexy Anna.” Tom said, and Anna thought she could die happily at that very instant.
                                                                                                                                  ~~~~
      “This is me.” Anna said as the cabbie pulled over to let her out.
      “I’ll walk you up.” Tom offered, climbing out of the cab first to open the door for her.
      “Thank you,” Anna smiled as she stepped out onto the street. “Oh!” she pulled her purse off her shoulder, rooting around for her wallet. She fished out several bills and offered them to Tom. “For my part of the cab.” Tom shook his head with a grin.
      “No thank you.”
      “But you already paid for lunch,” Anna objected. “And the cab ride there.”
      “And?” Tom laughed. “Put your money away Anna.”
      “Will I offend you if I don’t?” Anna asked teasingly.
      “Yes.” Tom replied, grinning when Anna huffed and replaced the wallet in her purse. She unzipped a compartment and pulled out her house key, leading him up the stairs to her door. She put the key in the lock and paused. She didn’t want her time with Tom to end.
      “Would you like to come in?” she offered. “You’ll give me an excuse to open the wine I’ve had sitting in my fridge.” Great, now he’ll think I’m a lush. It’s not even one o’clock yet. Tom smiled, and Anna was sure he was going to refuse.
      “One moment.” he said, making his way back down the steps to pay the cab driver. He’s staying! Holy shit! Thank God I cleaned my house… Tom bounded back up the steps as she unlocked the door, following her inside as the cab took off.
      “I’m gonna run these upstairs really quick, I’ll be right back,” Anna said after he’d shut the door, pulling her boots off. “Just make yourself at home.” she offered a small smile and disappeared around the corner, walking through the living room to the staircase at the back of the space. The living room was open and airy, spilling into the kitchen around a floor to ceiling divider with a pass-through window and bar. In the middle of the room sat a large dark blue couch, pops of orange and pink splashing off the decorative pillows. A cherry wood coffee table sat in front of it, dotted by a stack of starry coasters and a ceramic basin filled with rocks and candles. Tom let his eyes drift from the bay window on the far wall, immediately noticing her book shelves. An entire wall had been devoted to shelving, her TV in the center with a media cabinet below, the lights from the devices glowing at him through the glass panes. The rest of the shelves, floor to ceiling on either side of the TV, were filled with books. He gave a toothy grin as he moved to look at her collection, feeling akin to a child on Christmas morning.
      Anna put her boots back in their cubby, trying to calm her racing heart. Tom Hiddleston is in my house! Oh my god, oh my god, OH MY GOD! She bit her knuckles, hard, and choked back the scream lodged in her throat. She needed to calm down before she went back downstairs. Flirting with the man was one thing, but now he was in her house! She’d offered him wine for fuck’s sake! And everybody knew what that really meant. I think I’m having a heart attack. Jesus Christ on a cracker, if he touches me I’ll keel over. Ok Anna, just breathe. Don’t leave the man standing in your house forever while you coach yourself in the closet like a loony. Go. Go. GO! Anna steeled herself and left the closet, walking back downstairs to find Tom eyeing her library. Anna smiled fondly, wondering if he’d gotten to the Shakespeare yet.
      “Find something you like?” she asked as she walked up behind him. He turned to look at her, smiling affectionately as she joined him in front of the shelves.
      “This is fantastic Anna,” he praised, his eyes straying over the many shelves in front of them. “And yes, I did find something I like.” he said, glancing down at her. Anna grinned, looking away shyly. She couldn’t tell if he meant her or the books.
      “Thank you,” she replied coolly. “Not exactly the setup I’ve always dreamed of, but I love it nonetheless.” she reached out to run her fingertips along a lacquered shelf appreciatively.
      “What’s your favorite?” Tom asked, smiling when Anna’s eyes lit up.
      “My favorite?” she gaped at him, biting her lip. “Oh geez, that’s a terrible question; you’ll be stuck listening to me for hours.” she joked, scanning the shelves.
      “Top five then,” Tom chuckled, enjoying her enthusiasm. “Does that help?” he asked teasingly when she turned her liquid gold orbs on him.
      “A little,” Anna smiled as she turned to peruse the shelves. “Top five…top five…” Why does he have to be distracting? Tom had removed his jacket, leaving him in his vest and dress shirt. He’d rolled his sleeves up to his elbows, exposing his muscular forearms and it was torture being so close to him. She could smell his cologne, and he smelled amazing. It wasn’t fair. “Fuck me.” she muttered sharply when she banged her elbow on the corner of a shelf.
      “Beg your pardon?” Tom asked doubtfully, pinning her with an almost scandalized stare. Way to go Anna, now he’s gonna think you’re a pervert!
      “I whacked my elbow. Sorry, I swear like a sailor.” Anna explained as she rubbed her elbow.
      “It’s alright,” Tom laughed. “I’ve heard far worse, I promise. Are you alright?” he asked, reaching out to grasp her elbow, his fingers soothing the flared nerves almost instantly.
      “Yeah,” Anna said, nerves making her voice higher than usual. “Can I get you something to drink?” she asked steadily, getting control of her nerves. Tom seemed to sense her need for distraction and let go of her arm. Anna immediately felt guilty; he probably thought he’d crossed a line. “I’d hate to be rude.” she said in explanation and Tom smiled kindly.
      “You’re not,” he assured her, following her to the kitchen. “So the setup you’ve always dreamed of…for your books,” he said, glancing back into the living room when she looked at him over her shoulder. “Tell me about it.” he requested as Anna opened the fridge.
      “Shiraz or Riesling?” she asked.
      “Either one is fine with me.” Tom watched as she plucked the bottle of Shiraz from its place in the back of the fridge, his eyes fixed on her backside as she straightened and closed the fridge before crossing to the opposite counter and pulling a wine opener from a drawer.
      “I’ve always wanted a library like the one in Beauty and the Beast,” Anna said as she uncorked the bottle. “Not quite as big of course, but with floor to ceiling bookshelves full to bursting and rolling ladders. Maybe a spiral staircase in there somewhere.” she smiled fondly, opening a cabinet and reaching for glasses, her shirt riding up to reveal her taut stomach and lean hips.
      “That sounds lovely,” Tom agreed, smirking when Anna cursed. “Need something?” he asked as she strained to grab glasses from the top shelf. She huffed good-naturedly before turning to look at him.
      “I can’t reach the top shelf,” she giggled. Tom smiled cheekily and walked over to her, making a show of reaching up for two glasses as she glared at him affably. He set them on the counter in front of her with a soft plink, grinning when he met her eyes. Anna rolled her eyes and smiled, shaking her head as she shut the cabinet. “Thank you.”
      “You’re welcome.” he replied, tucking his hands in his pockets.
      “Oh crap, I forgot this needs to breathe.” Anna said with a frown.
      “You never did tell me your top five.” Tom reminded her, grinning when she laughed.
      “Really?” she giggled. Tom shrugged.
      “I’m curious what a sex therapist reads for fun.” he said. Anna smiled, abandoning the wine and making her way back to the bookshelves.
      “Harry Potter, hands down,” she tapped a shelf as he joined her, watching with mild amusement as she scanned the shelves eagerly. “I love Voldemort, he’s so deliciously evil,” she cackled, bouncing with excitement and making Tom laugh. “I’m sorry, I don’t know where that came from.” she apologized with an embarrassed laugh.
      “It’s alright.” Tom chuckled. He liked this woman; she was funny and vivacious. And an avid reader; there wasn’t a single shelf along the wall with an empty space. She even had Shakespeare!
      “Ooh, here’s a good one: The China Garden,” Anna announced. “Ender’s Game is really good too. The Notebook is one of my top five, but I haven’t read it in ages.”
      “Why not?” Tom asked.
      “It’s so beautiful, it always makes me cry…not that I need a book for that,” Anna said offhandedly, and Tom saw a deep well of pain in her eyes as she turned away. What could be so painful for someone like her? She seemed so carefree and open. “Anyway!” Anna’s voice snapped him to attention as she turned back to look at him eagerly. “Did you make it to the Shakespeare?” she asked giddily, all trace of sadness gone from her face.
      “Yes I did,” he replied with a grin. “I’m very impressed; you have all of his work.”
      “I adore him,” Anna sighed. “It’s impossible for me to pick a favorite; but lately I’ve been partial to A Midsummer Night’s Dream.”
      “It’s excellent,” Tom agreed. “I would have to say Othello is my personal favorite.”
      “Othello? Oh, but it’s so depressing!” Anna laughed.
      “You’re right, it is,” Tom smiled sheepishly. “I love it though. Cymbeline is another favorite.”
      “What about the Tempest?” Anna asked. “I loved seeing it on stage; it was fantastic!” she gushed, sparking a lively conversation about theatre that lasted well over twenty minutes before either of them remembered the wine. Anna poured them each a glass, bringing the bottle into the living room as they sat on the couch, still talking spiritedly. The discussion turned to movies well into their first glass, both too busy either talking or laughing to remember to drink. Tom finished his first, lazily spinning the glass between his fingertips and laughing at Anna’s description of a foreign film he hadn’t seen. They were seated face to face, mirror opposites, reclined against the back of the couch; Tom with his head propped up on one arm. His face was warm, but whether from the wine or his proximity to Anna he couldn’t tell. He watched as she drained the dregs from her glass, his eyes rapt on her lips. He desperately wanted a taste of her. “Would you like another?” she offered, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as he placed his glass on the coffee table.
      “No thank you,” he shook his head, his eyes following her as she leaned forward to set her glass down as well. “Anna.” he said as she sat back, her face inches from his. She turned her amber eyes on him and he was lost; reaching for her before he could stop himself. He pressed his lips to hers softly, reaching behind her neck to cradle her head after a moment. He felt her hands, light and hesitant, on his shoulders. One drifted to his neck as the kiss deepened, her fingers twining in his hair as her other hand splayed over his collarbone, gripping his shirt collar and her thumb and forefinger ghosting over his skin. Anna went limp, letting Tom press her against the back of the couch as his kisses grew more insistent. He abandoned her lips and dipped his head down to her neck, inhaling her scent as he enjoyed the way she clutched at him.
      “You smell amazing.” Anna sighed into his hair, biting her lip softly as he pressed a kiss to the hollow of her throat.
      “So do you,” Tom murmured against her skin, pulling her chest against his. He ghosted a hand up her side, the heel of his hands just grazing her breasts, and pulled away when Anna chortled, squirming against him slightly. “Everything okay?” he asked.
      “Yeah, I’m just ticklish,” Anna giggled. “Sorry.” Tom smiled, relieved he hadn’t done something wrong.
      “It’s alright.” he said, gazing at her fondly. She looked simply delectable; eyes sparkling, hair tousled, her lips full and reddened. He could easily get used to seeing her like this. She gave a chipper smile, reaching up to run her fingers over his short stubble affectionately.
      “I like your beard.” she said shyly, giggling when he grinned.
      “It’ll be gone soon.” he answered, almost apologetically.
      “So I should enjoy it while I can?” Anna teased with a glint of mischief in her eyes.
      “Definitely.” Tom nodded and they both laughed as Anna pulled him down to kiss him again.
      “I like the way you think.” she murmured against his lips and he chuckled, threading his fingers through her hair again as he took her lower lip between his teeth, breathing her in when she exhaled. This woman was so alluring; she enticed him with the smallest of touches. He could easily become addicted if he wasn’t careful. He moved his hand, intent on wrapping his arm around her waist, when Anna hissed sharply. “Ow-ow-ow-hair-in-watch!” she winced as she pulled back.
      “I’m so sorry!” Tom apologized urgently. “I should have thought to take my watch off. Here, let me get it, just hold still…” He reached up with his other hand, grabbing the strand of hair caught in his watch band, grimacing when Anna hissed again as he untangled it from his watch. “There. You’re free. I’m so sorry.” he said again, slipping the watch off immediately, reaching over to deposit it on the coffee table.
      “It’s fine.” Anna soothed him as she rubbed her tender scalp.
      “You’re sure?” Tom asked nervously, ready to retreat even as he reached for her again. Anna surprised him by grabbing his tie and pulling him in for a kiss, giggling when he grabbed her. His hands once again grazed her breasts through her shirt, and something inside him snapped. With a growl, Tom pulled her onto his lap and attacked her neck, peppering her skin with kisses and small nips as his hands worked the buttons on her blouse, opening her shirt just enough to let him see the sides of her breasts. Anna whined above him, grazing his hardened cock as she moved and making him gasp. Taking the initiative, Anna pulled him up for a kiss as she shifted on his lap again. Tom growled into her mouth, holding her hips in place as he bucked up into her. Anna gasped, clutching his shoulders tightly as he buried his face in her chest, holding her upright with his large hands as he explored her skin with his tongue. Anna twitched slightly when he gave her breast a quick nip, both of them groaning in frustration when he came across the sleek material of her bra. Tom paused, unsure how to go from here. He wanted to keep going of course; wanted to throw that damn bra out the window. But he also didn’t want Anna to think he was using her for her body, even if hers was amazing. He didn’t want her to think he’d come here for this purpose only; he’d come because he genuinely enjoyed being around her and wanted to know her better. Well I certainly know her better now… He glanced up at Anna looking for some kind of direction, knowing full well he’d do anything she asked. Anna seemed to sense his hesitation and swooped down to capture his lips with hers, running a hand under his collar to grasp the side of his neck. Tom returned the kiss fervently, reaching up to cup her face in his hands.
      *beep beep* *beep beep* Tom groaned as his watch went off, screeching at them from the coffee table. Damn.
      “I’m afraid I have to go.” He whispered against Anna’s lips.
      “Duty calls, huh? It’s okay, I understand.” She replied begrudgingly, placing her hands atop his on her face and grinning when he laced their fingers together. He pulled away from her slowly, reluctantly, and sat up straight so Anna could fix her shirt. His eyes flickered to the swells of her breasts quickly disappearing behind the blue fabric as Anna’s fingers deftly redid the buttons. Her eyes were fixed on the coffee table as she worked mechanically, and Tom briefly wondered if he had crossed a line, but the thought was banished when Anna turned her gaze toward him and smiled brightly.
      “I’ve had an amazing time with you Anna; I wish I could stay.” he said, bringing her hands to his lips to kiss them both. Anna couldn’t help but blush; he made the gesture seem so intimate.
      “I have too,” she smiled. “I think your fans would be a little disappointed if you stayed too long though.” she joked with a small laugh. Tom chortled, releasing her hands gently.
      “You’re probably right. I won’t be back until next week but…I’d like to take you to a proper dinner when I get back, if you’re available.” Tom said hopefully.
      “I’d love to,” Anna smiled. “Can I ask where you’re going?” she asked he slipped his watch back onto his wrist.
      “London,” Tom said as he got to his feet. “I’m visiting my family for the week before shooting starts.” he explained.
      “That sounds like fun,” Anna replied. “I haven’t been to London in ages.” she mused, and Tom grinned. Maybe someday you’ll come with me. Whoa, Tom, don’t go jumping the gun; you just met this woman a few hours ago!
      “It’s not much different from New York, truth be told.” he said as he slipped on his shoes.
      “Still,” Anna shrugged. “I didn’t get to see much. I imagine it would be fascinating.” she said as she handed him his tie.
      “Parts of it; thank you,” Tom conceded, quickly slipping the tie into place and tying it deftly. “Could I call you while I’m gone?” he asked hopefully, fixing her with a puppy dog look.
      “Sure.” Anna smiled, typing her number into his phone when he handed it to her. She put a smiley face next to her name, feeling the need to pinch herself. Who would have thought I’d meet my favorite actor, have him dominate me (on TV!), make out with him and trade numbers, all in the same day! I made out with Tom fucking Hiddleston!!!! And he asked me out!! Tom’s watch beeped, impatiently reminding him he had other things to do.
      “I’m so sorry, I really need to get going…thank you for lunch and…everything else.” Tom smiled shyly and Anna felt like a balloon about to burst.
      “Why are you thanking me?” she laughed. “If you hadn’t offered to…you know,” she smiled nervously. “We wouldn’t have ended up here.”
      “You say that like it’s a bad thing.” Tom admonished playfully, and Anna gave a mocking scoff.
      “Tis a far, far cry from a bad thing.” she replied and Tom smiled, giving a quiet sigh when his watch beeped again.
      “I should go.” he said, pinning her with an amused look. Anna opened the front door for him, wrapping her arms around him for a farewell hug.
      “Be safe.” she said.
      “You too.” he pressed a soft kiss to the corner of her mouth and left, walking down the street toward the subway station. Anna watched him go for a few seconds before heaving a swooning sigh and going back inside to polish off the wine. If this is a dream, for god’s sake don’t let me wake up.
      Five minutes later, she’d downed her second solitary glass when a knock came on her door. Anna set her glass down on the coffee table, her eyes lingering on Tom’s glass for a moment before she crossed to the foyer and opened the door.
      “Tom, what are you doing here?” she asked incredulously.
      “I don’t know, actually,” he laughed. “But I think I forgot something.”
      “What’s that?” Anna asked, jumping in surprise when he leaned in and kissed her.
      “That.” Tom answered boldly as he pulled back, letting his hands fall to her hips.
      “You came all the way back here to give me a kiss?” Anna teased as she wound her arms around his shoulders.
      “I didn’t make it very far, I’m afraid. I spent a good three minutes debating whether or not to knock,” Tom admitted with a shy smile. “I’m sorry, I’m not usually like this.” he apologized.
      “I don’t mind,” Anna teased with a small smile as she cupped the back of his neck, her fingertips grazing his hair. “But you’ll miss your flight if you don’t go.”
      “One more.” Tom didn’t wait for an answer before swooping down to kiss her again, his hands holding her body to his as she gripped him tightly.
      “You’ll be late.” she smiled against his lips. Tom groaned, shifting his weight impatiently.
      “One more.” he said again, making Anna laugh as he kissed her again.
      “That’s two!” she cried indignantly. She reached between them to flick his nipple, causing Tom to cry out in surprise.
      “Did you just flick my nipple?” he asked dramatically.
      “Yes I did,” Anna quipped, sticking her tongue out at him. “What are you going to do about it? Oh no!” she chided as he made to flick her back, covering her breasts with her hands.
      “Why not?” Tom asked pitifully. “It’s only fair.”
      “Because if you do I’ll never let you leave.” Anna argued.
      “Let me? Remind me who the dominant here is?” Tom joked, laughing when Anna paled slightly.
      “Don’t be a tease. Last one.” she raised up on her tiptoes and kissed him firmly, smiling when he wrapped his arms around her waist to crush her against him. “Now go!” she laughed, placing a kiss on his cheek before letting her hands fall away from him.
      “As you wish,” Tom smiled, releasing her from his grip. “I’ll be in touch.” he promised, kissing her cheek before leaving a second time.
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bynkii · 5 years
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Why is a man running an educational business advocating for ignorance?
(This was originally published on 30 Nov. 2015 in response to this: https://medium.com/the-mission/why-knowing-stuff-doesn-t-really-matter-f06a5536ab59) I don’t often read things on Medium that makes me think “Are you high?” but “Why Knowing Stuff Doesn’t Really Matter” made me literally think that Isaac Morehouse was tripping balls when he wrote it. Because I cannot, I simply can. not. imagine why someone who in theory, makes money from teaching people stuff, aka “knowing stuff” would publish this…paen to deliberate, methodical stupidity.
The idea that somehow, there is knowledge that is “good” and knowledge that is “bad” is almost ludicrous. Wait, no almost. It’s ludicrous. It’s the kind of thinking that in a cynical vein, is what your classic late-Victorian/early 20th Century factory or mine owner would use on their workers. “You only need to know how to run a milling machine.” “You’re a miner. All you need to know is how to swing your pick where I tell you to swing it.” It’s a phenomenally limiting philosophy, especially coming from someone ostensibly in the education business.
But then I read the Praxis site, and it starts to make sense. Isaac isn’t about education, Isaac is about training and when you want people to value training over education, knowledge for its own sake is indeed a bad thing. I still think he’s completely bonkers, but I understand how his self-interest is at play here. Which makes me even more sad. I’d have preferred his paen to ignorance was the result of too many tabs and not manipulative cynicism designed to bag on “useless” education. Which is what that post is.
However, here’s the thing: training shows you how, and what. Education is where you learn why, and why is in the end, way more important. It’s also more vague, and cannot be neatly compartmentalized into a series of 8-week courses and meetings with startup CEOs. “Why”, is learning “useless” stuff with no immediate value, that won’t help you code better or suck VC privates better.
It’s stuff like learning at 6 that all doors on the outside open out, and then finding out why. Or how to penny a door. Or drive a stick shift. It’s learning that you never need ice for soda from a dispenser to make it cold because the very design of the thing means it’s always cold. Something to do with the syrup in the hoses going to shit if it gets warm as I recall. What was the real-world value in that? Not a goddamned thing. But knowing why I didn’t need ice made me more interested in how soda fountains work, especially since I worked with the goddamned things. As it turns out, the more you know a thing, the fewer problems you have with it.
As it also turns out, knowing why, and the digging that “why” leads you to helps you see beyond the thin veneer of bullshit that people such as Morehouse portray as some kind of fucking wisdom.
Morehouse has a seriously fucked-up thesis in that post: that there is “good” or immediately useful knowledge, and “bad” or not immediately useful knowledge. That thesis is what I would call “shit” or shit.
When I joined the Air Force, I spent, post-basic training, (did you know that if you’re really stressed out, it’s perfectly normal to go weeks without taking a shit? Yeah. If it ever happens, don’t freak out about it. Try dropping your stress levels) at Keesler AFB. For 9.5 months or so, the USAF taught me a lot of electronics and RF. Tubes, transistors, ICs, tracing circuits, reading wiring diagrams, RF theory, how electronic countermeasures really work, (no video game or movie has ever gotten this right, by the way) most of which was of no immediate use on B-1B bombers, which would be the only weapons system I worked on.
(Did you know the value in being able to make awesome piña coladas from scratch? It got me free hotel rooms on weekends during tech school on a regular basis. So, about…oh $300 a month in 1987 money. Amazing what skill with a blender, some time spent working in a Mexican restaurant, and conversations with the hotel owners can get you.)
Being able to strip, test, and reassemble an ALT-32 had no value in the B-1B world, for the -32 was a B-52 system and an old one in 1987. Nor did I ever have to calculate RF loss, I had test sets that did it for me. But you know where that shit was useful? About two weeks after the introduction of the original iBook. Man, as it turns out, having a solid grounding in high frequency RF that I didn’t use between 1993 and 1999 made it really easy to correctly implement a WiFi network.
Not only that, I knew why the base stations had to be placed in certain areas. I also knew what spread-spectrum really was, and the effect it had on signal, along with why antenna polarization matters, frequency is important, and all the rest.
None of that detail was needed for B-1B DAS (Defensive Avionics Systems, what ECM on a B-1B is called.) The plane and the test sets took care of that shit for us. But because I knew the why, the how and the what got easier, including hows and whats I had no goddamned clue about in 1987–88 when I was really learning this shit.
Had I followed Isaac’s advice, I would have actively worked to forget all of it upon leaving the Air Force, since I was an IT tech in a small city government and had no need for any of that knowledge.
For that matter, why was it important I know about things outside of my AFSC, like why a B-1B needs SMCS Vanes, (the “winglets” on the front of the fuselage) or how the FCGMS (Fuel Center-Of-Gravity Management System) works. Or how “Cooling Oil” became “Coolanol”.
Because knowlege. All knowledge. Is good. The current idiocy that partitions knowledge into “good” and “bad” or “immediately useful” vs. “not immediately useful” is just that: idiocy. Did I know as a kid that playing football and baseball would help me have an intuitive understanding of certain aspects of physics? No.
Did I think that years spent standing under a plane with my hands over my head dealing with the unholy rat’s nest that is coax cable connections in a B-1B wing glove would be holy shit awesome training for connecting networking or even HDMI cable when you had to do it blind with almost no room for your hand to work in? Nope. Didn’t even know what ethernet was, and HDMI didn’t exist.
Did I realize how continuously useful a random elective in high school in architectural drafting would be throughout my life? Don’t be stupid, I just liked drawing houses. But ye gods, being able to read basic blueprints and the like? How is that not useful? The months poor TSgt. Frasier spent pounding how to read circuit diagrams into my head has paid off over and over, even though I didn’t do it that much even in the Air Force.
Immersing myself in how things work on a large, complicated aircraft taught me all kinds of things. Like why aircraft toilets are so expensive. And that large systems, like networks, are closer to biological systems than vaguely interconnected nodes. Of course, the biology classes I took helped with that even more. How often in my professional life has biology been directly applicable?
Never.
How often have the concepts behind that biology helped me grok really complicated networks or computer I/O? Countless times.
Knowledge, in a very real way, is life. You are, literally, what you know. The things you learn all work together. The very idea that you don’t want to “waste time with things you don’t need to know” is…well, it’s fucking stupid is what it is. Why would you actively work to limit yourself?
I cannot imagine what it’s like to go through life being deliberately ignorant of “useless” things. Because I’ve never really, outside of generic griping, found knowledge that ended up being truly useless. Maybe…maybe five minutes before I die, I could tell you if there is such a thing. But until then, fuckit, I’m going to learn ALL THE THINGS.
You should too.
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nyxrsh · 5 years
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The Livestream gone haywire
AO3 link
Words :  2441
Marinette finds the face and the reason behind the appearance of mystery cookies at her desk each morning. Sure she had prepared for everything she thought was possible, but the face to be the renowned Adrien Agreste and the reason being that the internet believed them to be dating wasn’t something just anyone could come to terms with. 
Chapter 1
It had, coincidentally, started on what probably was the most stressful day of her life.
Finding her way through Gabriel as a new intern was hard enough. But Marinette, thanks to her amazingly clumsy self, had somehow managed to knock into the Gabriel Agreste right on the third day of her internship while she was running late. Had it not been while holding her loose pages from her design portfolio, she might just have lost the opportunity of a lifetime for herself.
But having her designs scatter in every direction in front of her idol posed a completely different situation.
Marinette prided herself on being a multitasker. It was something that often helped her wade through different situations. For instance like the one she was currently stuck into.
So by the time it took Gabriel to look what she could only describe as an eagle’s gaze fixed upon its latest prey, she had managed to get worried about being humiliated right at the doorstep of the office, talked herself out of being worried because she was being silly damn it , picked up all her sheets and smoothed her dress. It was quite applauded considering that it took Gabriel like five seconds to provide the first critique. And on seeing that Marinette took his comments in stride rather than running off crying as he probably expected, he called her up to his office during her break and dumped seven folders brimming with designs of clothes for just about everyone . He then proceeded to dump the mammoth task of asking her to compile her opinion on each and every design by the next week.
She was screwed .
Gabriel Agreste was an absolute villain. And he definitely knew that.
Which left her now dragging herself up to her desk to hopefully get her work done, planning her schedule for the day. Quite stressfully might she add. So imagine her sheer joy at seeing the most beautifully packaged chocolate-chip cookie sitting right in the middle of the desk!
Silently thanking her unknown saviour to her empty stomach, Marinette carefully removed the bright pink ribbon from the bag and pulled the cookie from its tiny plastic bag. She then munched on the cookie for a good two minutes savouring the gooey chocolate chips and started her day much happier than she before.
As she plugged her earphones into her ears and raised the volume of the white noise music listening to which she felt the most productive, she failed to hear the silent whoop that resonated from down the corridor from where she sat. The blonde responsible for this took one last look at her and walked away.
The next day she arrived, she forgotten about the entire incident with the cookie. On seeing the present on the same spot Marinette stopped in her tracks and opted to briefly think about just why that thing was there. Seeing her contemplating about the cookie’s arrival, her desk mate and fellow intern, Ines, started giggling.
Marinette glared at the brunette without any heat behind it and asked her if she knew who kept the cookie.
Ines just playfully winked at her and said, “I have been bribed to keep my mouth shut about this 'Nette. But seriously you have nothing to worry about! The guy wouldn’t even hurt a fly if someone asked him to.”
“So it’s a guy?” Marinette asked.
“Oops.” Ines didn’t even look both bothered that she had revealed any information about her gifter. She grinned and said, “I also won’t tell you that he’s an absolute dork and,” raising her voice added, “ doesn’t agree with me that this entire incident can he handled in a much simpler way. ”
“Ines?”
“Yeah?”
“You are ridiculous”
She beamed. “I try.”
A week down this routine that she had got herself accustomed to, Marinette was absolutely determined to find out the identity of the man Ines had started to call Chat Noir for some reason. Her guess was that the guy was someone within hearing distance from her in the office and Ines just wanted to tease the guy for not doing things the way that she considered normal. As a consequence, Marinette hatched out her brilliant and flawless plan of finally not arriving to her internship with five minutes to spare. Rather she decided to come in an hour early under the pretence of wanting to organize her report before it had to be submitted to Gabriel.
Marinette had prepared herself for what she thought was every situation that would unfold. She had prepared herself for a colleague shy to proclaim his or her feelings. She had prepared herself for mortification on knowing that the cookie was actually not meant for her regardless of what Ines had said. She even had prepared for it to be Ines because why wouldn’t she like doing this?
Heck she’d even prepared herself to see a literal black cat showing up with a cookie it nabbed from a nearby bakery.
What Marinette had not prepared to see was Adrien Agreste pacing along the length of her desk muttering to himself about god knows what.
Seeing him there however seemed to explain a lot of things which had plagued her mind. Adrien Agreste would probably have been expected to wear top quality business suits wherever he went. He, for some reason had decided it was the highest tier of fashion to wear black ripped jeans with a simple black hoodie topping it off with a beanie that had seemed like cat ears?  And why did it feel like she’d seen this exact outfit elsewhere?
Huh. Weird.
“Uhh…Monsieur Agreste?”
Adrien froze. He turned towards herself with wide eyes as if he’d just been robbed of the most delicious cake he owned right in front of his eyes. But Marinette thought it was fair. After all anyone would be shocked to see her in the office an entire hour before she was supposed to be present.
“……yeah?”
“Can I help you in any way?”
“Oh yeah that uhh….I was actually— uhh— waiting for…Ines! Yeah! Her! I, uhh, lost a bet to her….and you know how she gets right?” He said nervously while flapping one of his arms around and reaching the other up to his nape of his neck.
“Oh! You’re a bit early then. Ines doesn’t come in for another—” she checks her watch “—fifteen minutes, give or take. But seriously Monsieur Agreste? I’d think that you’d know better than to bet against Ines of all people.” She ended with an almost smirk.
“Please, call me Adrien. And honestly I thought I had this one in the bag.” He said sighing. “She does know me better than I thought.”
Marinette chuckled.
“If you’d like to wait for Ines, then you’re welcome to stay here as long as you like Adrien.”
“I’d—” Adrien’s phone rings. He accepts the call and walks away near the window for privacy, somehow managing to mouth ‘I’m sorry about this’ and listening raptly to the caller at the same time.
Then again the Agrestes were known for doing too many things at the same time.
There wasn’t much to be said about Gabriel on this issue. Anyone who saw would agree that the man was a little insane with the amount of work that he did.
But Adrien, he was always a mystery for her.
The guy initially had been working as a model for the brand. And then he just stopped all of a sudden. With unfinished contracts and everything.
Marinette had thought Gabriel would be absolutely livid . He was known for going on a rage when any employee of his,even his own son, not finish something within the given time restraint. So she had confidently gone as far as say to Ines, ‘Bet you 20 euros he’s going to cause the best drama the company has ever seen.’ Ines had just laughed and said that they’d see.
(That was the day Marinette learned to never make the mistake of making a bet against Ines.)
But, Gabriel proved her wrong by acting like his son didn’t just act like he’d freaking died. He managed the situation too calmly. He explained that Adrien decided to pursue a different career path and provided replacement models for every shoot that his son had missed.
But that didn’t stop Adrien from stopping by every now and then. He come in unannounced. Walk around for a while. Talk to people he felt like conversing to. And then left as if it was something entirely normal.
Regardless, Marinette thought, it’s useless thinking about it.
So Marinette started unpacking her bag. Under the pretence of making it seem as if she was paying attention to the report that she needed to submit today, she couldn’t help but notice that the cookie hadn’t arrived yet. She mentally high—fived herself and pulled a calm façade over her face, waiting for someone suspicious to arrive.
“—honestly A, I told you this would’ve— OH MY GOD!” Ines shrieked and almost dropped her cell phone as she walked towards her desk.
Marinette jerked upright on hearing the commotion. However, on seeing just who the cause of it was, she relaxed.
Walking up to her, she asked her friend dryly. “Ines. What happened?”
Ines stared at her wide—eyed for an entire minute and then fake gasped. She asked, “How on Earth are you early today?! Aren't you supposed to be sleeping till at least another minute or two?!”
“Ines.”
Hearing their exchange, Adrien, having finished his call, sighed deeply, let out a few choice words and reluctantly shuffled up to them.
(Was she missing something that was going on between them?)
As Adrien, finally, walked up to them, Ines took one look at him and started laughing. And hearing her laugh at something that they apparently discussed about earlier, Adrien started to groan asking her to shut her mouth for god’s sake.
“…I’m guessing you lost the bet rather tragically?” Marinette hesitantly asked.
“Oh my gosh—” Ines wheezed, “so you mean this dork told you we—” again interrupted herself to allow a laugh, “—we had a bet going on?!”
“Ines,” Adrien whined, “What was I even supposed to do?!”
“Don’t give me that! I told you exactly what to do.”
“But you acted like this was a genius move. Wasn’t it you who said she’d totally understand if I did this!”
“It’s called sarcasm, you dumb— ”
“Okay enough!” Marinette interrupted the two of them before the entire company could be privy of whatever the two of them were arguing about.
The both of them stilled.
“Would you like to tell me what this is about? Ines?”
“....Adrien? I think it’s time you face your demons.”
“ Why are you so extra?” Adrien groaned.
Marinette looked at the two of them confused.
Adrien took a deep sigh. “You’re right. I was going to do this today anyway. Do you think…?” He asked flapping his hands.
“Sure,” she said trying hard to hide her smirk, ”but i’m only going any to make sure i have enough caffeine in me to deal with the kids that you two are!” Saying which Ines went away.
Adrien laughed somewhat nervously and went quiet, fiddling the nape of his neck with his hand. Marinette could just feel the nervousness oozing out from him. And considering she had about fifteen minutes before she needed to start her day, she really needed to get the younger Agreste start talking otherwise his father might just kick her out because ‘she inconvenienced his precious child.’
“So Adrien,” she began,”I know whatever you have to say is, I don’t know, big I guess? But the thing is,” she pointedly showed her watch, “I don’t have much time with me if you’re going to take this long.” As soon as she said this, Marinette chastised herself for coming out so bluntly. “Not that I’m not being inconsiderate to you! It’s just that I don’t think Nathalie would consider, you know, you and I talking about whatever, even if you do happen to be—”
Adrien interrupted her rambling. “Mademoiselle Dupain-Cheng—”
“Marinette’s fine.”
He sent a small smile her way.
“Marinette,” Adrien said, “you have been the most considerate person to me so far. Even if I don’t really deserve it.”
“What?”
“First things first, I’m the guy Ines dubs as Chat Noir.” He gauged for her reaction.
“Okay.” she said indifferently.
Surprised at her lack of any, he asked, “You aren’t mad?”
“I’m sure you are going to tell me why you though that was necessary. Aren’t you?”
“Yeah,” he paused, ”but just to be clear, please don’t hit me on my nose. I’ve heard from a girl that it pains like hell.”
“Okay...?”
“Uh, see, I’m you know, a youtuber….”
“....And?”
“I, uh, like to do livestreams okay? Sometimes, like once a month or maybe twice at the most. Because Paris you know—”
“Adrien.”
“—It’s a beautiful city right? People interact with me! Thankfully don’t fawn over me as much as they used to before. But you know—”
“Adrien. As much as I’d love to know what sort of videos and livestreams you have going on on your channel, could we please get to the point?”
He shot forward at once. “Inevermeantforthistohappenbutmyfollowersthinkthatwe’redatingandohgodi’vetriedmyhardest—”
“Adrien breathe.” Marinette interrupted his rant mid way failing to understand any part of it.
As Adrien hesitantly, on her insistence, all the while eyeing her as is she’d burst like a volcano at any instance.
Seriously, anything that he had to say couldn’t be that bad for her, right?
Right?
“Now do your worst. Just this time a bit slowly?” Marinette smiled encouragingly.
Adrien laughed nervously and said, “A week back during one of my livestreams, you accidentally stumbled upon me,” a genuine laugh flowed out of him at this, “I think you said something like ‘This is the third time this week this shit is happening to me. I’m so sorry about this!’ and rushed away. But considering you work here , it’s understandable why you ran away. But the thing is, my followers took it in an entirely different after one guy just asked me if you were my girlfriend. And now….” Adrien paused waiting to gauge her reaction.
“...everyone thinks we’re dating?” she asked, unsure about it.
“Yeah, pretty much that covers the situation.” Adrien finished somewhat lamely.
“Okay….let’s think about our options.” Marinette tapped her foot against the floor. “How many followers do you have anyway?”
“About 2.5 million I guess?”
“WHAT?!”
Scratch that. If possibly the entire internet thought that she was dating her boss’s only son, the matter could definitely be that bad.
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startwithbrooklyn · 2 years
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THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / OCTOBER 5, 2019 // return of josh
oooookay folks! that's a wrap! below are my comments about tonight's ep + additional expansions on previously stated opinions. i'm not combining s2 ep 1 with this bc s2 is dead to me! so is s3! i only did this to gather up all these loose thoughts i had when this show with its one lonely season became such a comfort to me that i developed a second consciousness about it. but with these posts i am done! the evil is defeated! i will carry on through the 3rd and hopefully final season of nancy drew with less emotion and better spirits. thank god.
-"talk to owen" nancy firstly thinks of talking to owen only to see what happens w the agleaca; saying goodbye comes as sorta an afterthought mirroring tiffany's possession of george. yet nancy was unable to say goodbe to owen just like w kate. knowing this reveal about kate, i wonder if this was foreshadowing that something big will be revealed about him later? unlikely but still
-nancy + the reality of broken things: 'totems' like broken sand glass sculpture (good place) to show you it's not a dream; "owen broke that" ghost trap to ground him to reality, like how she reached for her locket in the good place, lucy's charm, ace's bear ('totems' idea borrowed from inception)
-george has never been an affectionate person, even with other women- so why does pda with nick suddenly become so important?
-lots of comments about ryan + women but what about carson/kate and karen? again with the hypocritical (interestingly, there is an aspect of violence to women connected with ryan (even though that violence is not his fault); but its not like kate or karen fared well either)
-ryan feels useless- relationships with women as stated by nancy- he seeks to redeem himself by showing up where nancy goes to prove he is good to have around/necessary/needed - but now that he is attempting to act as a parent he has to break through nancy's defenses all over again- firstly she didnt really consider him any kind of threat bc he comes off as incompetent- ie bad business deals- i think i mentioned last ep, their hauntings equalize them as they both attempt to gain peace by searching for answers but now ryan has changed the terms of engagement so he's back to square one, with carson. (which is how we find them s2 cowering in ryans car stalking nancy together)
-ryan's relationship to nancy exposes an interesting layer here. so far she doesnt know about nick/george but they still hold the cards (ie george gets one over on nick's ex/"the new girl") with the revelation of ryan being nancys father, nancy gains an interesting trump card in navigating the social fallout of being nick's ex. like george would take the new spot but then nancy comes out with george's ex in a much higher category. this plays out later on in the ep when george confronts ryan. george wants to talk about "them" but ryan shows up completely focused on nancy, thus illustrating the trump
-"i thought it was whitney with another insipid question" to me this sounds like whitney took bess's advice earlier about "asking aunt diana what she wants" (only to learn it actually annoyed the hell out of diana lmaoo)
-"then you need to fight for it" this hearkens nancy earlier by asking "arent you in by virtue of dna?" the test was positive; she is a marvin just like nancy is a hudson. thats not a fact that they can change. however, diana really acts like it can be changed- and in s2 we see it does change. its interesting for bess to be told to fight to be in a family she's already in and also foiled by nancy trying to fight her way out of her own family. would like to see bess stand up to diana and say something. i mean, she exists. as much as she may want to erase bess from the family, diana cannot erase her existence
-hannah's rolled up sleeves 💙
-"previous keepers records" -from s2- were those not her parents??
-mistaken murderers- everyone incorrectly assumes lucy was murdered just as they assume the agleaca killed owen
-even if owen weren't the price, how can they pay the toll without one of the people who called? i mean if it was anything other than owen and he still died they still wouldve been fucked
-"you don't need to check, i'm not even driving!" okay and giving up the goss. cassidy is me. lmfaoooo
-wonder if this locked marvin industries box will ever come back
-UNPOPULAR OPINION: george's confrontation with ryan comes waytoo late to do anything. i think i brought this up in an earlier post. its literally just her screaming at him now. like he is clocked out moved on. you know a good time for this scene? in the claw when he comes by to "check on her". hes vulnerable, fresh from rehab. and she has a chit over him for punching bookcases/the fuckin country club deal. therewould have been a perfect time to confront ryan on what happened- "what you did to me" okay sis. you admitted ep 1 you werent in hs anymore. youre of age now. admit you fucked up. take the L to force him to swallow the bigger L. and imagine how much more powerful the scene would have been- in george's domain, literally her own office, something ryan doesnt even have because HE DOESNT DO SHIT. ryan is SO EASY to trap but nobody notices. instead they have george try to get some kind of apology out of him when hes already done with that, and only for the sake of her establishing a new relaionship to boot. imagine how much more empowered she would feel if she just got that closure for herself- because she needed it, not so she could trot straight back to nick being all proud of calling a grown man to some random estate only to scream at him in a parking lot and have accomplished nothing. 🤦🏼‍♀️
-i get patrice thinking nancy is lucy but yeahhhhh this isnt how dementia works 😬
-i almost cant with nance and josh. how do you save your would-be murderer? (+ lucy's best friend and brother are in jail, her mom is lost to her mentally; all she has left is nancy and ryan)
-tbh i had no idea how to spell agleaca until bess said "theres no i in agleaca!" i thought it was igleaka like 😂
-damn how george just stares at nicks hand and then gets out herself is just so sad (like she immediately rectifies it but still...)
-"curiosity" part II; nancy who comes back to the sea after her mother died in it- agleaca drawn to lucy's trauma/to agleaca, lucy died fir "love"- would nancy be willing to risk the same? // this is also one of nancy's "mirroring mom" moments: winning sea queen, going to the velvet masque, getting caught by celia, having a "chat" with everett, and "falling" off the bluffs
-the collector 🎵👌🏻
-i wonder if there's any significance to the locations/means of their deaths; nancy's is pretty straight forward in terms of where and how, but why george and nick drowning, in the truck specifically? drowning in love? idk. ace's at the claw i get, but he gets himself caught? in what precisely? what does the fish hook mean? and bess's makes the least sense- burning alive? in the marvin estate? maybe the agleaca picked the most painful death for the marvin blood relation? idk. up for debate lmk ya thoughts
and lastly:
-i remember seeing this ending for the first time and i had just been traumatized by avengers endgame and since black widow is also a redhead seeing that shit at the bottom of the cliff it was like 😰😰😰 TOO SOON
-random thoughts-
these are just things i noticed, feel free to grapple with them or take note of them for extrapolation in s3 (lord knows i wont be) they probably belonged in recaps for previous eps but i either didnt find them in my notebook or couldnt fit them in
•nancy and truth/the perception of truth: using facts to suit theories instead of creating theories to suit facts- nancy often plays with the perception of truth and the details that fall between the steps; but she is also a victim to them by people who also know how to play the game (ie Carson) ex lying about the dress (tea cups and knives, trash got picked up, bail paid 1 hr ago) her inferences can be off from what others tell her ("people always lie") but she can also come to the wrong conclusions organically (carsons trial) more willing to believe the best in others/wanting them to be innocent (think nick ep 1) but later finding out the truths hurts more so she chooses to isolate herself and avoid involving others to be spared pain
•maybe i'm dumb, but who is "mr marvin" exactly? owen? the bald guy from the funeral? this comes from the guy who takes sailboats out like ep 4ish and says "ive worked for the marvins 20 years" she compliments the ship, he says "mr marvin and i just took her out this morning" so?? who is that? plus last ep just saying cassidy and isaac are her "late husbands children" dows thet mean sebastian? like did diana marry in? i feel like it would be odd for her to so embrace the "marvin way" if she wasnt a true born marvin
•ik college becomes a more s2 topic but none of the crew have ever been to college 🤔
•nick + the relationships with people whose reputations are tarnished: tiffany with investigating the hudsons/marvins, josh with murder/attempted murder, kate and 'stealing'/lying about nancy (esp compared to her almost preternatural kindness i mentioned before), george and her mom/family's reputations --> this kind of segues into nick + the concept of believing people you love could be capable of horrific things- accidental or on purpose (see- having to tell his family what happened)
•at the beginning, nancy kind of seems to be the "i'm sorry you're upset" kind of apologist and knows it. she also doesnt usually apologize earnestly bc shes never really sorry (she always has to get what she needs first ie coins mess) and she doesnt want to lie; to me it seems she doesnt like to bother with other people bc they require certain cues/niceties that are often lies- they ask "how are you" without meaning it, they dont really want an honest response except "fine", they dont like it when you call them out on fakeness, etc/ they require apologies for their bruised feelings even if youre right (and nancy can be pretty rude/nasty if provoked- a harshness unsoftened by sympathy)
•cont'd from the good place ep- since kate apparently means nothing to nancy anymore according to last ep ("stop calling her my mother") is her policy of "always seek the truth" now null and void? this mantra is now tainted bc the person who gave it to her broke it so much. can nancy disengage w it now? does she fall from grace to be complicit in "mysteries" of her own like everyone else? does she lose some of her "god-like" holier than thou act bc she is now literally born and raised in the "darkness" of sins/ugly truths like everyone else's? (ie truth is ugly but not to nancy, until now)
•did lucy disappear because her "murder" was finally solved? or simply because her trauma was addressed- she never meant to tell anyone about her suicide plans, the twisted trauma of which was too great to contain/unable to move on due to "sin" - or unable to move on because secret of nancy's parentage still remained? "lucy never wanted me to figure out how she died" she only wanted nancy to figure out her parentage without solving the mystery, yet did lucy see/witness nancy's revelation at the claw, or with carson, or even ryan? waiting for karen/josh to know? or just vanished?
•concept of imperfect mom figures- lucy, kate, celia, victoria, even karen- who all struggle with failings
•since karen dispelled one of lucy's attempts at nancy's haunting at the garden party, is that proof she isn't haunting karen?
•the crew + needing adult help: george's possession and victoria, club busted and owen, car accident and mcginnis, thom and cipher, larkspur lane and sal, bones and john, agleaca and hannah
•everett is always sitting- at his home office, at dinner, at yacht club (wonder if that was his actor + had to do with his recasting?)
-dad talk-
•both her dads think negatively on her "girl detective" thing but ryan sees use in it as a means to get answers, carson would never 'use' her in that way
•nancy + carson : suffering
"what about what i wanted?" + carson being imprisoned for weeks but she immediately rejects him (the DAY he gets his freedom no less) with no regard to his suffering (caused by herdiary!!) in regards to her own from this new knowledge (she does suffer a lot- "almost dying is my new normal" but still)/ the "thankless job" of parenting
•nancy + adults - connected to cop thing a few posts earlier : nancy is v precocious and smart for her age- she is "old enough" but also has trouble with the "adults" in her life- fathers, moms, karen, and cops letting her down but depends heavily on "adults" she cantrust- hannah gruen, john sander, lisbeth- highlighting her youth and occasional naiveté; nancy is unafraid to hold adults accountable for their actions (ie karen) but also loses them as allies along the way. both hannah and john are very nonthreatening and also experts in their fields, while her fathers and karen are revealed to be "just another brick in the wall" average, capable of mistakes, and not the people she expects them to be, while characters like john and hannah can only benefit nancy because either they do not mean as much to her or have no reason/nothing to gain by lying; they are purposefully shown to be small, demure, gentle, and nonthreatening as foils/opposed to karen, ryan, and josh whom she previously trusted; carson (+kate) is nonviolent as well but has the biggest betrayal which is perceived as an act of violence to her very personhood/shattering who she thought she was so she cannot be that anymore (admits truths to john "everytime i dig i hurt everyone" and hannah-agleaca) : unclear if redemption is possible for anyone :
•nancy bonds with carson over loss and then ryan over haunting. but actually, nancy rejects carson over loss bc she wanted to say goodbye and wasnt allowed to- so carson was with kate but nancy was not. nancy and ryan are more equals about haunting bc they both start around the same time and conclude together as well [nancy and ryan bond over thinking their parents conspired to kill lucy- think sitting on the floor at velvet masque] nancy is appreciated by ryan for her ability to get answers- he has no qualms about going through her/outside of police bc he wants results/instant gratification and thinks nancy is more so the expert in her field/respects her even through her age- once again acknowledging she is braver than he is (think lucy + claw parking lot) and her portent in the car freaks him out bc shes usually always in control, esp with him
•bc nancy was told "you can't be afraid of the truth" until she was / ironic bc shes braver than him except when the truth is they are related then she's scared to tell him while he actually starts to take some initiative
•nancy picked "the wrong person" to help her through her grief in her dad's eyes like her mom's best friend was somehow a better choice? carson truly "parents" nancy even during grief and haunting (which she rejects) whereas nancy and ryan are really equals in all their situations which is actually better for her and easier for her to maintain- nancy's expectations are low so anything that ryan gives is a bonus. nancy's expectations of carson were shattered by his lies so now she has nothing to connect with him about- they could barely even connect when sharing the same grief- carson actually very hypocritical hence nancy's upset at karen revelation yet carson doesn't agree bc hes the "adult" and shes the "child" not realizing she hadnt been one for a long time (hidden staircase perhaps?) whereas ryan better treats her with lack of controlling parental nature bc he is impressed with her competence before he receives that knowledge; "lucy was smarter than me too" acknowledging her intellect negates his ability to "parent" ie control her to leave him solely with caring about her wellbeing in her situations + aftermath - i honestly dont think carson would ever admit that shes smarter than him* bc he thinks shes not "all grown up" yet ("youve kept me on the bench for years"); ryan is more willing to meet her where she's at which is so important for all her good relationships - ace, owen, etc
*carson asks for nancy to figure out "who to trust" in ep 12, finally admitting that she is useful/ie acknowledging that her skills/abilities do help, are necessary, and can in fact save lives --> this is then s2 follow up by working for him (but it takes him that long)
•ryan/nancy/carson venn diagram - using sex to escape trauma
•if not carson vs ryan then what about celia and everett vs patrice (and josh)? at this point in the narrative, do you think ryan's parents would take his side should the knowledge become public (without their involvement), or deny nancy?
•"we were a family" + the disruption of family dinner- kate was really the one holding that family together and her death makes it unsustainable
okay!! that's all folks! i have exhausted my plethora of nancy drew thoughts + knowledge. you will never have to hear from me again!! TYSSM 😘
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catu-munchkin · 7 years
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I don’t need her... [Rocket Raccoon x Reader]
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Note: Yoo! Well, I wanted to post this long shot this last weekend but life happened. I hope you enjoy it. *Offers you a tissue * Well, at least I needed it. Hehe.
Summary: There are someone that worries and cares about you, always. But the thing is, if you want to see it or not.
I don’t need her...
"None asked ya' to protect me!!" Rocket yelled at you as both of you were entering his shared room.
You stood there, not so far from the door frame, then looked away and put your hand over your side.
“... But don't you see?? I DO care for you, Rocket!" You yelled back at Rocket and finally looked at him.
"Well, Y/n... I don't need any stupid humie to look after me!!" Rocket yelled back. Those words carved down, deep down your heart, and it was painful.
Your mouth began to shiver and you felt how your (color/eyes) began to get wet, but before any tear could run down your cheek, you turned back to the entrance.
"Is this really your goal here, Rocket? To make everyone hate you?..." You took a deep breathe, and with a shaky tone you added. “… Cause it's working…” You didn’t hate him, you couldn’t, but this time he went too far.
You left the room as fast as you could walk and cleaned the tears off of your face. What you didn't see, was that Peter saw when you left Rocket's room.
Peter was very surprised, he have seen you two arguing, but he have never seen something like this before. But beyond surprised, he was worried.
A few hours ago, you and the Guardians of the Galaxy had a really hard fight against some crazy Kree who tried to attack a small city in Xandar, a city with no military protection. They brought a giant galactic snake and a huge amount of Kree soldiers.
During the battle you have been hit on your side by a very strong blaster weapon. The whole team knew your condition wasn’t the best, but you would live to tell. Still, it was a serious wound.
It could be said that you and your crew won the fight, the threaten was defeated and any innocent people got hurt.
Everyone in your team was hurt too, but you were the one with a serious death wound. That was the reason that made Rocket get mad. He was sure worried about you, but he felt guilty, and the only way he knows to express he is worried was getting angry and mad.
"Hey Rocket..." Peter knocked he door frame.
"What do ya' want, Quill?" Rocket said without looking at Peter, while he was trying to distract himself working with some scrap metal pieces.
"I kinda saw what happened. Are you all right?..." Peter asked worried as he walked to Rocket’s bed.
"As I told her, I don't need any humie to take care of me..." He replied and snarled at him.
Quill let out a long sigh, shook his head and looked at Rocket with a serious glare. "Rocket, seriously??"
"Seriously, what?!!” Rocket replied feeling even angrier and finally looking back at Peter.
“I don't need anybody, and- ... I don't need her!!" He yelled at Peter.
Those words made Peter mad, because he had noticed the way you act around Rocket, the way you are always with him, the way you treat him and the way you look at him.
"Are you fucking kidding me?!” Peter yelled back waving his arms in the air. Then he put both hands on his hips and looked down at Rocket. “Oh yeah! Like YOU saved the galaxy alone!!"
"I build the bomb that destroyed Ronan’s hammer!!"
"Yeah, you did! But we worked as a team!! Remember?”
"Oh, don't come here with your team shit!!"
"Okay. Listen!” Peter closed his eyes and brought one of his hands to his forehead. “That girl out there, just risk her own life to save yours!" Peter yelled at Rocket while he was pointing outside the room.
"Well, I have never asked her to do that for me!!" Rocket yelled back as he stood up his working chair and walked away from Peter, with his arms crossed.
"Aahhhhg!!!" Peter let out a frustrated sigh and replied. "Y/n did that, because she loves you, Rocket!!"
Rocket froze right there on his tracks and his furry ears twitched. Then he slowly turned back at Peter.
"What?" Rocket replied almost with a whisper.
"Look, she never told me anything, but I can see it. The way she treats you, the way she cares about you. The way she looks at you…” Peter made a short pause to take a breathe and then he continued. “For gods sake, Y/n just received a freaking blaster impact for you!!!"
Rocket remain in silence.
In fact, that was what really happened. In the battlefield, everyone where busy fighting, and since you are the sniper of the team, you have a better view of the situation. That was when you saw one of the Kree were aiming a huge blaster directly to Rocket. You tried to warn him by yelling at him, but it was useless. So you decide to ran towards him. You were fast enough to push Rocket, but you weren’t fast enough to avoid the impact.
Peter let out a long sigh and sat down over Rocket's bed. There was silence for a moment.
“Do you remember when I-… when I gave Gamora my helmet?"
"When we met Ronan at Knowhere??" Rocket replied as he walked back to his working chair and took seat. Peter nodded.
"I risked my life for Gamora because I couldn't imagine how empty my life would be without her in it...” Peter said seriously, then he laughed slightly and continued.  “Sure! I wanted to impress her… but something deep inside me was suffering... By watching her dying in front of my eyes..." Peter said letting out a long sigh and looking down to the floor.
"Y/n loves you so much, that she would give her life for yours..." Peter said finally rising his head to see Rocket's face.
Rocket was processing all what Peter just told him. Thinking about someone could love him that much, felt like something that could never happen to him. Someone risking their life to save his. The simple idea of love, had a strange and unknown meaning for him, since none before had shown it to him, not until he met you.
"But what kind of love she could feel for someone like me, Quill?" Rocket asked angrily and somehow, feeling disappointed.
"A love that makes you put the other person before yourself. Real love, Rocket… THAT kind of love.” Peter said looking at his furry partner with a serious expression on his face.
Rocket let out a long sigh before speak. "But- I... It can't be..."He said sniffing and brushed his forehead.
Peter stood up and looked down at Rocket.
"Of course it can be!” Peter said while he waved his arms.  “I fell in love with an assassin, our partner is literally a destroyer, you are best friends with an alien giant tree, and Y/n is in love with you! And you know why?” Peter asked looking at Rocket. “Because we are the freakin' Guardians of the Galaxy and anything about us is remotely normal!" Peter finished giving to Rocket a big smile.
Rocket's anger and frustration became sadness and pain. But he wasn't sure what he was feeling for you. Rocket liked you a lot, he enjoyed your company that much that you were the only person who can sometimes call him a raccoon and live. He loved to spend his free time with you chatting about silly stuff, blasters, bombs, stupid things that Peter likes to do, he felt you were the only person he could talk to and you wouldn’t  judge him. Rocket actually felt comfortable with your company.
Rocket cares for you too. But he wasn't sure if all he felt for you was just a nice friendship, or something more.
Part of him was convinced that he felt no more than a friendship for you, but it was because he was terrified by the idea of you rejecting his feelings. But now, knowing all this, made him think it twice.
Quill let out a long and relaxed sigh, and leant in to Rocket to put his hand over his shoulder. "Rocket... Tell me something... What would have happen if Y/n didn't make it?... If Y/n were dead, because she saved your life." Quill said it with a serious look.
Rocket's heart literally stopped when he heard the word 'dead', and his stomach felt a horrible sensation of emptiness.
Now that he have spent so much time with you, he couldn’t imagine how his life would go on if you disappeared from it.
He made his best effort to try to speak, but Peter spoke before he could.
"You're feeling it, right?" Peter said putting his other hand over Rocket's should and pat him gently.
"That's exactly what Y/n felt when she saw you were in danger..." Peter let out a long sigh and let go Rocket's shoulders, then he began to walk to the door frame.
"Quill, wait-... How- How do I fix this??" Rocket said without looking at Peter.
"You have to talk with Y/n... And tell her what you feel for her..." As Peter was leaving the room, he could hear Rocket sniffing quietly.
Later that night.
You were in your small room, resting on your bed, which never was that comfortable and that night, it wasn't either. All your body was in pain, specially your side where you received the impact, but even stronger that all the pain your body could feel, your heart was the most hurt.
It wasn’t the first time you had an argue with Rocket, but was the first time he practically call you ‘stupid humie'. This time he really hurt you.
You felt the emptiness and pain right in your chest. It hurt so much, that you couldn’t avoid cry and sob quietly.
When you felt tired of being in your room, you sat up the best way you could and stood up. You let out a long and painful sigh and decided to leave your room.
When you were walking down the corridor to the flight deck you found Rocket walking towards you. When you saw him, you decided not to look at him, so you didn't pay much attention to him and kept walking.
Rocket, on the other hand, saw you walking towards him, but felt disappointed when you didn't even made eye contact with him, also he could see that you were having trouble to move because of your wounds.
When you passed Rocket, he stood there frozen and speechless, watching you walk alone.
Finally you made your way to the flight deck, the place was empty, which meant that the Milano was driving on automatic pilot. You sat down on the co-pilot seat and rested your head on the chair. You looked through the window and saw the space.
To you, the galaxy always looked wonderful, with all those colors and space stuff floating around. But this time, for some obvious reason, you couldn’t appreciate it the same way you usually do. Literally. You were feeling weak and your lids felt very heavy.
Rocket didn’t take that long to join you at the flight deck. He saw you there resting and he walked towards the pilot chair and took a seat. Once again, you didn't bother to look at him, so you kept your eyes closed.
There were silence.
"I'm sorry... Y/n... It wasn't my intention-" But before he could finish to speak, you stood up and shook your head, then began to walk back to your room.
This time, Rocket was faster and grabbed your arm when you walked next to him. You stopped in your tracks, with one of your arms being grabbed by Rocket and your free hand over your side.
"Y/n, I'm serious... I'm sorry..." But you didn't answer, you were really hurt this time. You didn’t even dare to look at him. "Please…” Rocket was begging you. “Say something already... Would ya'?”
"Say- what?...” You said with a serious tone in your voice. “I'm just a stupid humie..." With those words, Rocket let go your arm, then looked down and dropped his furry ears.
Suddenly, you couldn’t ignore it and you began to sob and sniff quietly. Then, you looked at Rocket and with a weak voice you said.
“... A stupid humie that loves you, Rocket." You tried your best to fight the tears back, but suddenly you began to feel dizzy and really weak. Your vision began to blur.
"Y/n... I-" But just before Rocket could say another word, you blacked out.
Rocket caught you before you could hit the ground. Desperately, Rocket could feel an immense hole in his chest, and somehow he manage to call Peter.
"QUILL!!!!"
To the next morning.
You woke up in Peter's room, since his room had the best bed, it was the perfect place for someone wounded.
You made a huge effort to open your eyes, and when you finally got it you looked around to see a sleeping Rocket next to you and holding your hand tightly.
You tried to sat up over the bed and with the slightly sense of your hand moving, Rocket snapped out of his sleep with his fur shaggy on one side, then he lifted his head to see you waking up.
"Rocket...?" You whispered weakly, while you  brought tour free hand to your forehead.
"Y/n, you woke up, you finally... Woke up..." Rocket’s voice was cracked and weak, then his eyes crystallized and a tear escaped from his brown eyes. It was the second time you actually saw Rocket crying. He was speechless, but suddenly he rushed to hug you and buried his face against your neck and began to sob quietly. You could feel some tears falling on your neck.
"I'm so sorry, Y/n...!!! Please, for give me..." You let out a short sigh and hugged him back, putting one of your hands over his head and brush his fur.
"I-I didn't- realized how important you are to me... I was mad and terrified and so worried about you... That's why I yelled at you... I'm so sorry..." Rocket tried his best to speak and to explain himself.
Rocket said and you could feel the pain in his words. You didn’t answer anything, you just kept hugging him tightly.
“All this is my fault…” Rocket added.
Rocket let you go, and sat next to you, so he would be facing you. He sniffed and cleaned the tears off of his face and then he looked at you worried.
"I realized…” He began and held your hand again. “You mean the galaxy to me, Y/n..." He made a short pause, looked away, and then back at you. "And what I was going to say before you blacked out was... I love you, Y/n..." Rocket said giving you a sad bit genuine smile.
You blushed slightly and smiled. Then you felt how your head began to spin and your heart began to race faster and faster. You were not sure if it was because of the pain in your body or because you were so happy to hear those words came out from Rocket's mouth.
"Rocket..." You whispered and pulled him in slowly to rest your forehead against his.
"I love you too... But-" As tears were running down your blushed cheeks you made your best to speak. "Please, don't leave me behind... Please." Then you giggled slightly and Rocket cleaned your tears from your face, so you did.
"Never again..." Rocket replied as you smiled and slowly began to lean in closer to Rocket's face. You weren’t sure about what you were about to do, but you didn’t care. Finally Rocket was saying he felt the same for you. He loved you.
As you were getting closer to Rocket, he was feeling something running down his spine, and somehow he began to lean in closer to you too.
As you were getting closer to Rocket lips, you closed your eyes and finally kissed him sweetly. You felt how Rocket was getting tense, but just an instant after he melted in the kiss. You didn’t care how strange it could be, you now better than anyone, that love doesn’t have any distinction.
When you two finally broke the kiss, none of said a word but you tried to catch your breath and rested your forehead against Rocket’s again. Both of you were terrible blushed but immensely happy. Both of you let out a lovingly sigh and stayed like that for a few seconds.
Rocket finally asked.
"So, are ya feeling better?"
"My whole body is in pain..." Rocket frowned an dropped his furry ears at your answer.
"But I've never felt happier." You said with a wide and loving smile on your face.
Rocket smiled back and let out an adorable sigh. "I'm... I’m gonna tell the others ya’ woke up." He said jumping off of the bed and walking to the Peter's doorstep.
"Rocket, wait. Come here for a sec." You shyly asked, waving your hand at him, then he came back to you.
"What...?" He asked as you extended your hands to his furry cheeks and fixed his shaggy fur. Rocket felt a bit nervous and he could swear he could feel the blush on his face. You brushed his fur gently to fix it and when you finished you smiled at him. "Done."
"T- Thanks..." Rocket said lowering his head and scratching his whiskers.
Bonus*!
It was two weeks after Rocket confessed his feelings for you and you couldn’t feel happier and thankful. Also your body was getting better and almost you didn’t feel any pain.
It was morning and the Milano was at Xandar. Everyone was at the common room having some breakfast. When you arrived to the room, you took seat next to your beloved one.
"Morning, Rocket..." You said with a sweet voice as you took a seat next to Rocket and held his head to kiss him on his furry cheek, which made him stiff and surprised him.
"N- Not in front of everyone!" Rocket demanded. You just smiled sweetly at him.
"Awww, look at those two love birds~!" Peter Quill said as he saw the scene.
"Shut up, ya’ Star Munch!" Rocket yelled at Quill.
"Rocket!!" You looked at Rocket.
“Trash panda!!" Peter answered.
“Peter!!!” You yelled at Peter and let out a light laugh.
“It’s been two weeks since you are an item now, and you can’t get use to it already?” Peter commented casually and laugh at Rocket. "Well, that will make your relationship more exciting!" Then he let out a long laugh, while Rocket snarled at him, you just hugged Rocket tightly and let out a lovingly sigh.
Fin.
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Wisdom i learned from Uta hagen’s respect for acting
 Reading chapter 1
Representational 
Presentational
The representational actor deliberately chooses to imitate or illustrate the characters behavior
The presentational actor attempts to reveal human behavior through a use of himself, through an understanding of himself and consequently an understanding of the character he is portraying
The illustration of a character's behavior at the cost of removing one's own psyche, no matter how brilliant the performance that results, creates an alienation between actor and audience
Formalized, external acting (representational) has a tendency to follow fashion
Internal (presentational) acting rejects fashion and consequently can become as timeless as human experience itself
Talent alone is not enough. Character and ethics, a point of view about the world in which you live and an education, can and must be acquired and developed.
Reach out to others
It is necessary to have a point of view about the world which surrounds you, the society in which you live; a point of view as to how your art can reflect your judgement.
To rebel or revolt against the status quo is in the very nature of an artist
Rebellion or revolt does not necessarily find its expression in violence. A gentle lyric stroke may be just as powerful a means of expression.
To portray things the way they are , to hold up a mirror of expression to the society, can also be a statement of rebellion
To maintain one's ideals in ignorance is easy; to maintain them with the full realization of the existing circumstances is not.
To accept “the way it is” is the opportunistic way out or the way of the ostrich; to attempt to battle it takes knowledge and character.
“I want to be the best actor in America” epitomizes the american disease of ambition for success accompanied by fame and fortune as proof of worth.
One may be the favorite of a certain group, but others have a different preference.
There is nop best each worked to create his own best, not to be the best
Love the art in yourself, not yourself in the art
Chapter 2
You have a tendency to copy what you have seen others do on stage, rather than to search within your own life experience to bring forth a new human being on stage
Why should every lady in waiting move like a ballet dancer? Why should every spare carrier stand as rigid as a cardboard? Why should the king and queen intone like bad opera singers without music? Where are the real human beings in these plays? They are lost behind ready made , fale forms
We look for the ordinary rather than the extraordinary in our daily lives, and so the explorations of ourselves become smaller and less important as we go along
Our sense of reality is limited. We look at our daily lives for convenient, recognizable behaviorisms to transfer to the stage
Water down the truth to make our stage life natural
My own self-image in a given situation, who i think i am, is not always what i really am
For each person you will present a different you
Previous circumstances and existing circumstances will bring about a different you
We must learn to understand and accept the facets of ourselves which we don’t wish to recognize
We must become self-observant enough not only to recognize our needs and define our feelings, but to connect them to the behavior which ensues.
The continuing job of learning to find out who you really are, of learning to pinpoint your responses and even more important, the myriad, consequent behaviorisms with result.
To seem to want or need a mask behind which to bury oneself often comes, not only from an incorrect concept but from a distrust in ourselves
The cat really exists with strong, spontaneous, forward-moving attention, and so it can surpass the actor, who is predictably busy with his stage life.
What is boring is not the real you in action, but the mechanical execution of a task whether it be over dimensional or tiny.
Your own identity and self knowledge are the main sources for any character you may play.
In sections of the country we are shaped by a society which is ashamed of spontaneous emotion.
Keep pace with the present. Take a trip to the moon. Envision the future
When looking at painting, put yourself into them instead of looking at them.
We must overcome the notion that we must become regular. It robs you of the chance to be extraordinary and leads you to the mediocre.
Chapter 3
One should reject the desire to show off.
Each object of the thing that I see or come in contact with must be made particular so that it will serve the new me and bring about the psychological and sensory experiences necessary to animate my actions.
I may even use a dozen elements from a dozen different relationships from my past and put them together to build this new relationship with my stage stella.
To do is a synonym for to act,
We are nowhere near the acting; I am still in the process of building a sense of reality and faith in my character.
When the actor has difficulty in finding a substitution for the content of a given scene as a whole, he can usually find the root of the problem in the fact that he's being too literal.
Taking this substituted psychological reality and transferring it to the existing circumstances and events in the play
I have used the past to make the present real
To work for an involvement for its own sake on stage bogs down the movement of the play, disconnects you from the play, makes you blind and eaf to the play. Beware.
There is much in a creative process that is almost intangibly real and mysterious, why compound the felony and make it moreso?
You must find your own substitutions if they are to be real value to you.
That substitution is the aspect of the work which strengthens your faith and your sense of reality in each stage of the total work on character, it is a way of bringing about justified, personal character actions.
Particularizing or to make something particular, as opposed to generalizing or to keep general, is an essential for everything in acting from identification of the character right down to the tiniest physical object you come in contact with.
I have made what is there particular rather than just assuming any ashtray.
Nothing should be allowed to remain general.
Chapter 4
An emotion occurs when something happens to us which momentarily suspends our reasoning control and we are unable to cope with this event logically.
At the moment of the release of the control, plus our adjustment to an attempt at control, we are overcome.
Human beings do not want this loss of control and usually make an attempt to cope with the emotion as it hits them.
Release object, a release of the censor which moves along with us and says, don’t lose control.
The consequence of this discovered procedure is endless.
Avoid the examination of any past experience which you have never talked about or wanted to talk about.
Without an understanding or a degree of objectivity to the experience it is useless to you artistically.
Actions themselves, verbal and physical, can generate strong emotions and can sometimes be as stimulating to an emotional release as any remembered inner object.
Emotion if furthered by the action.
When you claim that an emotion or a recalled object is wearing out for you by repetition, that it has lost freshness, you are failing technically.
Chapter 5
Sense memory, the recall of physical sensations.
Since the body has an innate sense of truth, we must learn some physiological facts to help us avoid the violation of the physical truth.
Bringing about your physical sensations for the characters stage life is fraught with many of the same pitfalls as the reproduction of emotional sensations
In that moment of adjustment, of attempting to overcome the heat, you will have a sensation of heat.
I am emphasizing the adjustments to overcoming the sensations because I believe that the sensations occur most fully at the moment when we are occupied with the attempt to overcome it.
After stimulating the imagination to the remembered feeling, they will bring it into the present for you.
This technique, recalling a localized sensation and finding a physical adjustment to alleviate it- is applicable to and condition you may be called upon to play.
The discovery of the sensations and how they influence you is there toon your action truthfully in the scene.
You are dictating the sensations, they are not dictating you.
Chapter 6
As a nation we have evidently become so desensitized that encounter groups, an essential part of whose programs seems to be learning to touch each other, have sprung up all over the country.
Full human contact employs all the senses, the more intense they are, the more highly they are developed, the more available is the potential of the actor this area of high sensitivity is where true talent lies
What we make of this sensitivity determines whether or not we can call ourselves artists.
A great danger is to take the five senses for granted.
You must also realize that self-involvement deadens the senses, and vanity slaughters them until you end up playing alone.
How the smell and sound of sizzling bacon can produce a feeling of well being. An unpleasant smell can be just as suggestive psychologically.
Taste is not only important but must be fully explored because in most instances on stage you won’t have the real thing.
I want a powerful sense of taste so that when i substitute another object for them on stage i will have similar sensations and adjustments
The visual contact we make with another human being or worth something in nature can act on us like a stroke of lighting
To really receive the nuance of verbal action and tone of voice rather than merely factually clicking it off with our auditory sense makes the difference between an actor and a hack.
Words are sent actively with content. You must listen for the intent of the words in order to receive them.
We also listen with our eyes. We interpret content and intention from an expression or movement which the action has given to the words.
Looking as well as listening, hinges on needs. Seeing is also balanced against expectations, immediate needs, and your past knowledge of the object.
While we talk we look intermittently at the person to whom we’re talking in order to see how they react to what we’re saying, to see if we have their attention, to see if they get the point, ect. What we see in these moments conditions how we continue our tale.
Simulated looking and listening must produce bad acting.
Anything dormant which you might awaken through daily concentrated attention to your senses will add to your growth as an actor.
Give meaning to what you receive when you see, when you heat, when you taste, when you smell, when you touch.
Chapter 7
Thought moves with such lighting rapidity that any attempt to slow it down is inaccurate, and so must bring about false behavior on stage.
Feeling obligated to illustrate thought, bodily or facially, comes from the mistaken notion that the characters thoughts manifest themselves in an organized progression.
Real thinking precedes, is accompanied by, and follows action.
Real thinking is active.
My thoughts spring from the contact with these inner objects (things or people not present in the room only as images in the mind) and bring about an inner action.
By contacting these inner objects, not present in the room, my thoughts flow forward quickly.
I never ask, “what were you thinking?” Instead I ask, “what were your inner objects?” so that you will get out of the habit of even verbally analyzing your thought process.
The actor's thinking depends on the subjective process of weighing the course of action by contact with inner and outer objects.
To act is to do, not to think.
The fight against these intrusions on true thought can be conquered only by strengthening and enlarging the circle of inner objects belonging to the play.
If any inner object in the play is not real to you, it will have no consequence in producing genuine thought.
The thoughts are anchored to the events and to the other characters.
Not only must these people and events and the things which tangibly surround you be clothed in reality for you by particularization and substitution, but everything that has happened connected with the surrounding circumstances as well.
Your objects will channel your attention into the private circle of your character's life.
You cannot dictate the order of your thoughts.
You must keep them fluid for your character's needs.
Chapter 8
Suddenly, the very act of standing became awkward. You became aware of your hands as unnecessary appendages. You lost a sense of character and place, and you became an exposed actor on stage, not a human being in a room. Then, you protected yourself by assuming a stance, a stage pose. This protective pose was probably borrowed from your earliest and most inept stage experience.
The reason for walking is destination.
The movement you create must come from carefully selected action which allows for the organic development of the character and the primary action of the scene
Each movement of true wandering has a destination, and is focused on a relevant object that we deal with in order to further the character and the story.
On stage, where every second counts, the objects should be selected and dealt with to reveal something new about the character or the circumstances, or both. The seeming illogical objects you have contacted in a strange order must be substantiated by the logic of the play.
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