#and maybe doing some sort of collages and stuff like that

[funkle420]

i really wish I'd gone to an actual art school instead of transferring all over the place and switching majors and shit. i get pangs of jealousy seeing ppl post their art school assignments, they look fun and interesting and like a good way to learn!

[lucky-draws]

arts and crafts sunday: finished making my journal 👍

[theminecraftbee]

Hey, I really like your profile and your posts and if you let me, I would make such an amazing mural out of it!😭❤️ If you don’t mind one of your posts could be my inspiring muse for an art project i’m working on for a client💕 You will totally get paid for it as well as a bonus; you’ll also get credits🤍

so this is fascinating to me because ON PRINCIPLE i'm fine with people including stuff i wrote in collages (although i'm not sure how 'mural' works here). i know too many webweavers to like, NOT be fine with collage. i'm also totally fine with people making "murals" based on my stuff, although i'd be wary of doing it as an art project for a client because i write fanfiction, man, and you know. copyright.

however, there's no way this blog is a real person. click through and it has all the hallmarks of a scam blog: it was made only a day ago, its reblogs don't add up to paint a picture of any specific kind of person and indeed seem to mostly be random, and of course this ask is entirely incoherent. ESPECIALLY since... i'm not an artist. i REBLOG a bunch of art but i'm not an artist.

so i'm kind of curious what this ask is trying to get me to do. i will say, bot: you DO NOT have permission from me to use stuff i didn't make but merely reblogged. i know the fearmongering answer is "gasp it's getting permission to TRAIN AN AI ON YOU" but i sort of doubt that. (for one: all it has to do is ignore robots.txt if it wants to trick you into allowing web crawlers, and if your blog is on google most unethical ai crawlers can like, access your stuff anyway. for another why would they lie about that in this specific way. for another another... that's generally not how that works.) then maybe the next answer is like, some sort of art reposting scheme? but hell if i know why they'd send an ASK about it. it's entirely possible this is a "legitimizing" move in tumblr so they can start doing bigger scams. it's also possible that with that promise of "you will totally get paid" that they're trying to scam me out of my payment information so they can steal from me.

in general this is an interesting new form of scam ask. i am going to block this blog now and recommend you do the same i just felt i had to answer this to both clarify that actually, i AM fine with you recursing my works (i am a little uncomfortable with you making money off of it though ngl) or using them in collages, but i am like 100% certain this is somehow a scam.

uh. buyer beware i guess.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s3 episode 8 thoughts

i’m conflicted. i didn’t like this episode, and i don’t know if my reasoning is valid or not. but i guess at the end of the day it’s all subjective, right? it’s MY BLOG and i decide which episodes are good vs bad in the juni-verse.

(do not be offended if this is your favorite episode and i am slandering it. it’s not personal, pinky promise, but i explain my reasoning at the end, so let’s jump in)

((also i hear geese right now. not relevant but highkey distracting))

oooo today’s episode title looks french… i thought at first that it would mean (feminine) someone who forgets something, but it actually means “a type of dungeon with a single escape route”. the more you know!

i’m excited to watch this episode. it sounds interesting. it also sounds like it could be really really dark. so let’s see! (verdict: DARK!)

we open on high school picture day. a girl named amy is getting her pictures taken. these girls are in very cute outfits. a guy from the photography company is staring at amy though… OH! and stroking her picture in a darkroom. HELLO??? jail jail jail. 

(we later learn his name is carl. he will be referred to as “the creepy man” and “carl” alternatively throughout this post)

he cut out her picture and put it next to a picture of himself??? is he making a collage? GROWN MAN! GROWN MAN DOING ALL THIS BTW!!! in what looks like a trapdoor darkroom beneath his house. is this the aforementioned oubliette….?

amy is sleeping and. SOMEONE IS COMING IN HER WINDOW. NO MA’AM. it’s carl, who says that “nobody is going to spoil us”. a little girl sees this happen!!!! noooo… but maybe she can give a clue?? i mean a witness to a kidnapping seems like it’ll help solve the case, right?

now we are at a burger place, someone is taking a while to fill up some drinks- her name tag says “lucy”. and then there is BLOOD all over her from her nose. the boss looks majorly freaked. and she FAINTS! mumbling that nobody is going to spoil us. OH… so lucy and the girl must have some sort of connection. boy, that seems it'd be disruptive to the work day…

bum bum bum bum!!!! spooky noises. spooky imagery. you know it, you love it: the intro.

mulder and a very large coat are here to investigate the kidnapping. he is looking about at various rooms and walls. 

noooo, he is in a child’s bedroom :( and he finds a very sad mrs. jacobs looking out the window. he says they will do everything they can to help but she is like “how could you really know how i feel?"

well actually he is quite well versed in kidnappings!!! so please be mindful of your words. she walks away and he looks very sad. way to dig some stuff up for the guy. she didn’t mean it, i know, but still, it was a very purposeful dialogue choice.

(mulder is staring intently at dark red spots on the carpet) “it’s blood”, says a guy we have never seen before. excellent work detective. could have had me fooled. i was thinking it was jam /s

this guy thinks it was someone that knew her, mulder does not think this is the case because it was so bold. fight fight fight!

oh, he actually came on this case to talk to lucy from the burger place!!! and not for the kidnapping. we should have known that was far too conventional for our friend.

(door opens) (deep sigh) (scully’s voice from off screen) "mulder…" <- yeah this had me giggling. not even really sure why. they are reunited after a flight apart. it must have been harrowing. 

so, he explains: the girl, amy, is 15 years old, and was kidnapped. and twenty miles across town, lucy was repeating the same words the kidnapper said as she passed out! “well that’s spooky”, scully notes, and mulder replies “that’s my name, isn’t it?” <- LMAO

OH GET THIS: Lucy was kidnapped when she was 8 for FIVE YEARS!!!! until she was found by the side of the road. HUH??? THE PLOT IS THICKENING. same guy…? scully seems very deep in thought

first thing lucy says upon their entrance: “i’d like a cigarette” in the hospital. queen i think there are laws against this but idk 💔 

they explain that amy said those same words about spoiling it for us at the same time she did, and lucy has a thoughtful look on her face then says no, i know nothing about it. NOT BUYING IT!

paused on scully’s face to take notes and she really is just so beautiful huh. 

lucy asks when she can leave and they say um probs when the doctor says you can. and she’s like, no they said it was up to you. so they’re like uh yeah you can go. this is very exciting and she doesn’t even change before she leaves. 

CREEPY MAN ALERT. he’s on the side of the road with a busted tire and a tow guy offers to change it for him for $10. a screaming deal! until this fellow picks up a crowbar looking thing and screams LEAVE ME ALONE and chases him away!!! deeply suspicious behaviors. tow guy calls him a freak as he drives away. a very rare deserved case of calling someone a freak as you drive by them.

back at the station, the lead agent or whatever his title is tells mulder that lucy and her boyfriend have a criminal record, but mulder doesn’t think she’s involved. i’d have to agree, but maybe i’m easily fooled. 

“mulder, i got something- something weird” scully strides in the room and announces. and i’m thinking, YEAHHHH BABY, WE LOVE THAT AROUND THESE PARTS!!!

so, here is the weird stuff: lucy had two types of blood on her shirt that night… so scully is gonna test and see if there was a match to amy’s. but mulder doesn’t want lucy treated as a suspect, so he says to try and keep that quiet.

now we’re at a halfway house. a guy is going up some stairs whilst lucy shivers in bed. she has scratches all over her face and complains about being unable to see. and it looks like she has the same scratches as the girl in the creepy guy carl’s hole!!!

mulder rolling up to the halfway house. he asks to take lucy to dinner, as the paramedics say she is probably better now after her episode. 

she is going to town on some soup and insisting that she is clean, and you can even ask henry about this. she is very insistent that she CANNOT help amy, but he is trying to gently be like. well... maybe you CAN. and she says: NO.

back in the hole, amy is having pictures taken of her. and screaming

at the station. mulder is watching a video of lucy from 1978 where she is crying on the ground and also screaming. her eyes were hypersensitive to the light when she finally escaped from her kidnapping all those years ago. it’s honestly very upsetting to watch.

oh!! scully has a break in the case: all the school photos were sent out EXCEPT amy’s. and the assistant was fired THAT DAY AFTER THE SHOOT. his name is CARL. and he spent the last 15 years institutionalized “for a bipolar condition”. well would that make him not a suspect for whoever took lucy…? i can’t do math. but if she got back in ‘78 then it would be possible, right? because idk when s3 takes place. anyway, mulder’s gonna show the photo to lucy and see if she knows him.

(i groan when a story makes a villain bipolar or have any other mental health issue to enhance their ~scariness~. it’s cliche, it’s perpetuating harmful stereotypes, and it’s bad writing. i was mentally throwing tomatoes at the screen)

carl is leaving and he left amy in the basement. is this her chance to break free? or is it a trick. she finds a hole in the wall sealed with some wood and starts to rip it up 

back to lucy cam. mulder is trying to get her to stop running away and he grabs her shoulder and she says “DON’T TOUCH ME. i don’t like to be touched” this is understandable and he apologizes.

anyway, he shows her carl’s photo, and she starts to run away again, indicating that she does, in fact, know who it is.

back to amy cam. she’s trying to break free, but he is coming back in his car! he hears her trying to get out and sees her running out the window. she is running!!! into the woods!!! run run run run!!!

lucy is also running. 

but no!!! they both fall!!! mulder picks lucy up. nooooo, amy failed her escape attempt :(

but upon seeing the photo, lucy confirms that it IS the same guy that took her way back when. she says she feels like she’s going through it all over again. 

however, scully and the cops are at the door! lucy is suspicious. reveal: THE BLOOD ON THE UNIFORM WAS AMY’S!!! mulder is saying she didn’t do it, but scully says it’s concrete evidence. unless you believe in the migration of blood. 

carl is explaining to amy that she shouldn’t have run. she asks for some water. is she gonna make another break for it? no. she does not. but she does ask for her mom and also for her to please not die here. it’s very sad.

mulder throws out a theory: maybe lucy bled out amy’s blood. it’s a stretch. “i hate to say this mulder, but i think you just ran out of credibility” <- girl i think that was a while ago.

i jest, but it appears scully does not. yowch. okay, yeah, bleeding someone else’s blood is a little rough in terms of an idea, but some thoughts we try and keep inside our heads in terms of our pals having wild theories.

OHHHH... scully insinuating that he is seeing his sister in lucy, and that is why he cannot see her as the perpetrator when all the evidence points to it…. oh i felt chills... or some sort of adjacent negative experience. bad feelings washed upon me.

he says that not every single thing he does or says is traced back to his sister but… i’m actually not gonna agree with him on that one. anyway, he’s mad at her. and i would be too tbh!

someone is coming in to the station who saw carl. it’s the tow guy!! and he was spotted heading near the place lucy was found years ago!!! 

carl witnesses the cops racing off to his place. but the agents go to the photo store to see if he has an account. not a bad idea on behalf of mulder.

although, we don’t even know if they go in because next they are ambushing carl’s property. and they see the trap door!!! is she in there??? and she is!!!

WAIT NO. IT’S LUCY?? everyone is confused. 

okay, so they DID go to the photo store, because they have the photos of amy that were taken in the basement… i see now. i am listening and learning.

the cop guy wants to take lucy into custody because she can’t say why she is at the crime scene, but mulder is like “no i’ll take her” and scully tells the cop dude it’s alright. so now she must see what he was saying. he’s walking lucy out. and she’s saying that carl hasn’t touched amy, and then she starts shivering and coughing, saying she is cold and wet. and mulder’s touching her….

he says lucy is trying to tell them amy’s in a river, so they try to go there. and then when carl dunks amy underwater, lucy starts spitting up water!!! and then drowning in the car on land. 

agents are running in the woods.

they find carl, and mulder shoots him. then he runs off holding amy. so he starts doing mouth to mouth and she’s doing chest compressions and lucy is coming back to life?? maybe?? no.

scully is trying to tell him to stop because she’s dead, but he won’t, and they actually come to blows about it. he’s sitting there all soggy and wet and crying. but then she finally starts coughing!!! 

mulder learns that lucy was also dying, and he gets all freaked out and runs back to her. and lucy is, in fact, dead. he’s touching her face as water pours out of her and she’s crying. mulder is full on kneeling at her dead body and sobbing. and damn, if this moment didn't get me right in the chest.

scully shows up to the halfway house, where mulder is sitting on lucy’s bed with a bunch of pictures of her. scully says amy had NO INJURIES and she can’t explain it, but nobody wants to talk about it because everyone is relieved to have her back. and it turns out lucy drowned. despite being on land.

“mulder, whatever there was between them, you were part of that connection, did you think about that?” <- AUGH (girl who is in pain as scully tries to put into words how important he is to not just her, but the whole world)

but he says that dying was pretty much all amy could do to escape from her past. and i'm thinking, well, if this whole episode has been a way to comment on your past... what exactly are you saying? because i'm hearing things i don't like. what about the power of healing and friendship? have we tried this?

i’m not sure how i feel about this episode, so i want to hear your thoughts even more than usual. actually, i am pretty sure that i didn't like it. i love a good character-centric episode, and this was definitely a mulder episode, but i felt that scully was really sidelined. like REALLY sidelined. to the extent she felt almost mean, with the losing credibility comment and trying to get him to stop doing CPR and bringing his sister up into it. on the other hand, though, she did seem to accurately describe the situation as himself projecting his past onto these people. it was pretty clear that was the case no matter how much denial he had going on.

luckily, in long form content like this, when something is written that feels out of character, i have an ease of just ignoring it i feel is usually denied in tighter season or movies. like yeah, everyone has an episode or two where their favorite character acts weird as hell. i could already point to a couple episodes on mulder’s behalf- cough cough genderbender cough cough 3- so maybe this will even out the tally of agents doing stuff that feels wrong. and like those episodes, i can ignore them. i am the rememberer and when i need to i am also the forgetter.

(now, you may present an argument to me that these actions WERE in character for scully. and i will not deny you the chance to present that argument my way. i shall hear out cases with a fair and impartial nature. but my opinions have been voiced)

characterization aside. this was another dark episode with almost no lightheartedness. there were a few things i giggled early on, like the way she just announced his name when they’re reunited, but other than that… childhood kidnapping? a real bummer. also, their psychic connection wasn’t even explained. it didn’t seem to follow any sort of logic at all. she would just… snap into it sometimes and then out of it. but you couldn’t really tell why she’d snap into it beyond it seemed moments where amy was in danger. but like. when you’re kidnapped you’re basically in danger 24/7. so: ??? 

and the transmutation of physical injury. they said that amy had no injuries, but we could see she had the same face cuts and scrapes as lucy. so are they ignoring that or are we thinking that lucy dying absorbed all that damage…?

mulder also ends the episode saying that he thinks death was the only way lucy could escape her suffering, which has troubling implications for his own character and those who love him.

hmm. idk, i just don’t think i liked this one. i’m learning that i find children being hurt less campy and fun than aliens and bigfoot. a good scary episode can be that, both good and scary, but i didn’t feel scared because it still was fantastic in nature. when there was a real scary episode- i’m thinking of irresistible in s2- the reason that felt so scary was because it WAS an entirely human, no supernatural elements at all, spooky episode. and that was the whole point; that episode was used to explore scully’s greatest fears, her struggle with being unable to control every aspect of life, trying to grasp who she can and cannot trust, and the depths to which the human soul can descend. so we had something similar going on here, except that lucy was taking amy’s damage, and you can see how that sort of transmigration makes for a harder sell on the commentary of the evil things humans can accomplish, no?

hmm. again, please let me know. i actually might look this one up, because ever since i learned that there are wikipedia episodes for every single episode, i have mostly neglected that fact to avoid audience ratings sullying my own hot takes on the subject. but this one has me curious. 

[ratgrinders]

Lucy headcanon: she journals. But like the way Kafka journals where it is not helping her mental state at all and in fact may be making things worse. She’s such like a pretentious literary indie sad girl to me. She’s the girl behind a tumblr blog that romanticizes the ‘sad girl’ and ‘female rage’

Bonus: do the other ratgrinders journal? Does it help them or make them worse?

^^^^^^ sorry ur ask inspired me lmao

BUT YEAH god i love the interpretation of lucy as someone who kinda romanticizes sadness in a way, until it becomes Too Real and Too Close To Home now that she's actually died.

I think the rat grinders journal to varying degrees!

Kipperlilly i think got recommended to journal by jawbone, as a sort of "let your thoughts flow freely you you have a place to express them." kipperlilly doesnt see the point of it, she mostly just ends up writing really angry vent posts that almost tear the paper, which tend to get angrier as the year progresses.

Ruben i think maybe writes down song lyrics, doodles, maybe even poetry if he's feeling up to it, but he's less inspired with the rage crystal and hasn't been doing it as much. he does find it relaxing tho.

ivy im not sure? i could see her maybe scrapbooking or something like that. just making a collage out of a bunch of things that are meaningful to her.

oisins very practical and only ever writes notes, reminders, thoughts to himself. he probably uses it as an agenda of sorts to keep track of things.

mary ann doesnt journal, but she does blog lol, though i doubt its anything personal. shes just a very active forum poster, and i doubt shes keen on letting her personal thoughts be anywhere external.

buddys diary entry starts with "Dear diary <3, Oh golly, what a day! Every day is a trial under His good graces. Why, I was at a "social function" when this boy walked up to me asking if i wanted some of the "good stuff" because it looked like I needed some "positive vibes". I told him the only vibes I need come from the Holy Spirit, thank you very much. If only we could all walk in the light of Helio. I'll have to pray extra hard this evening to balance out the unholy vibes I was exposed to. Yours in Christ, Buddy Dawn <3"

[gingerjolover]

maybe lazy day around the holidays cuddling with lucy? like they’re in bed (lucy and soft!gf) watching a christmas movie and soft!gf is trying to get lucy to appreciate the small things that come with the holidays ? if that makes any sense lol

of course babyyyy

we can make our own christmas - lucy dacus x soft!gf

Lucy's breathing is even, her head resting on your abdomen, body rising and releasing with your own. One arm is across your lower belly, the other under your back. You cringe at the thought that her arm might be actively falling asleep, but her eyelids flutter with sleep, staying closed. Your fingers carding through her hair, running down the slope of her nose, and rubbing her ear as you stare ahead at the screen, some random Christmas movie playing for the nth time this season already.

"Another Christmas movie?" Lucy mumbles, rubbing her face in your shirt, her lips catching the hem, gently grazing your skin.

"Oh, don't be such a grinch," you tease softly, smiling softly at her obvious distaste. Truthfully, Lucy was probably Christmas'd out. Over the last few days you'd gone to a Christmas tree farm/village, went to see Christmas lights, had a Christmas-themed brunch at Phoebe's, followed by a Santa Claus movie marathon, went gift shopping, and then decorated the entire apartment and tree.

And she's been a good sport... sort of...kind of... as much as Lucy could be about Christmas. You gave her a break today, though, the two of you lazily moving around the apartment, slowly invading each other's space, allowing one another to just exist in each other's presence.

"Sorry," Lucy mumbles, looking up at you, there's almost a submissive glint in her eyes.

"For what, honey?" you whisper back, thumbing the hair of her eyebrows down as they moved out of place while her face was resting in your stomach.

"Bein' a grinch," Lucy says, rubbing her face back into your abdomen, the feeling of her lips moving through the fabric of her your t-shirt tickles.

"I was just joking Lu," you say softly, hand rubbing the back of her head.

"No, but- you love Christmas, and I... I hate it, the only reason I did any of that stuff today was for you.. and for Phoebe, but mainly for you..." Lucy admits, her tone annoyed and defeated, but it's clearly an internal battle.

"Babe... I love you," you say, pulling her hair softly to lift her head to make eye contact. "And I appreciate you doing all this stuff for me... I know you have a lot attached to the Christmastime, but... I want to start creating our Christmas traditions... ones that make you feel good, and they don't even have to be super Christmassy..." you say softly. "I know I've been going hard with the Christmas stuff, but I want to figure out what you like... you didn't mind the scrapbooking and collage making, right?" you ask.

"No, I didn't mind it... it was fun," she whispers.

"And you liked sitting on the counter while I made Christmas cookies?"

"Yeah... your apron was cute," she says, lips pouting.

"And you got to pick really cool and unique and some ugly ornaments for the tree... that was fun, right?" you ask, fingers threading through her hair again, trying to convince her to like the small bits of Christmas without infantilizing her.

"Yeah... and I don't hate the music... or the gift giving, I guess... I just...it's a lot," she says, a heaviness in her voice, the weight of childhood Christmases, religious trauma, and the conflated depression all swirled in her words.

"It doesn't have to be anything you don't want it to be, Luce... we literally can do whatever we want for Christmas, I'm sorry if I've been pushing it," you say sincerely.

"No, you haven't; you've given me plenty of outs... I would do Christmas every weekend if it made you happy," she says sincerely, crawling up the bed, sticking her face in your neck.

"I love you," you say softly, her lips attaching to your neck gently.

"I love you more," she breathes. And she means it. Lucy is not a Christmas person, but there's something about how you breathe new life into every corner of her mind, showing her little things to love and appreciate, your smile worth every cheesy Christmas movie, familial argument, or pseudo-religious unwarranted messaging.

"I love you so much, I do... but can we please change the movie for the love of.." Lucy starts to say, tone exhausted as her nose rests on yours.

"How about the Grinch?" you tease softly, Lucy pulling away softly, eyes boring into yours, her face in faux offense.

"Do you hate me?" she asks.

"Luce!"

"No Grinch!"

[dc-fanfic-sideblog]

So… I don’t really have an update on the costume designer reader, just some more little facts because I can’t help myself. None of this is in any sort of order. I’m treating Reader like a character for now in this post, i will eventually start to use “you” in place of “she/her/reader”

I’ve never really written x reader fanfiction before, so I’ll try my best to make it as inclusive as I can (while being a little self indulgent as a treat)

If y’all have any questions or maybe even requests then please send in an ask!! I want to practice writing!

Various DC characters x fem!reader

Reader is going to Gotham University on a full ride scholarship, but she doesn’t live in the dorms (if the Uni even has dorms because i can’t find any information on it) she has a shitty little apartment, basically a studio apartment because they’re a collage kid and can’t afford shit.

Every so often some small time villain will find their way onto the roof of their apartment building and reader is just chilling outside and she’ll ask “yo… do you have a costume yet?” And she may or may not design something for them or give criticism on whatever they’re already wearing

She asks Superman why he wears tights lol

SPEAKING OF SUPERMAN, i believe when reader goes off to Metropolis, Lois is all over her in like a mother hen kinda way. Giving tips on how to interview people, about asking good questions and keeping their interest

Clark is also there but after reader meets Superman she catches on almost immediately. Because hello, he’s just wearing glasses and fixing up his hair differently, what are the drinking in Metropolis?? (I’m heavily basing this Superman after the 1978 one because he’s so silly and pretty)

Batman/Bruce Wayne definitely has his dad instincts kicking in as soon as he hears about some college kid wanting to talk to VILLAINS that are in ARKHAM going to Gotham University on HIS FULL TERM SCHOLARSHIP.

Damien meets reader with Batman supervising him to make sure he’s not overly rude to reader, and Damien (as Robin) starts asking stuff like “why are you interviewing villains? Frankly that’s stupid and dangerous” and Bruce just scruffs him like a kitten and says goodbye lol

At some point I think Bruce meets reader as Bruce Wayne after one of her classes to be like “hey I’m the one giving you money so you can go to college. I heard about you talking to evil people and while I think that’s dangerous here’s a special ID to get into Arkham so you don’t get kidnapped by random villains on the street. Talk to these people while being supervised please”

His kids make the joke that he’s ready to adopt another kid, but he denies them just to let them freak out (he not gonna but he thinks it’s funny to mess with them like that every once in a while)

Jason follows reader as Red Hood when they’re going to Arkham for the first few months. The visits aren’t often because of classes and work, but they’re at least once a week.

Reader/you work as a work study for the theatre department, meaning reader has access to a lot of different materials and good strong sewing machines. There’s a pretty good sewing machine in the apartment but the university ones can handle thicker materials and can run for a lot longer

I’m kinda debating on including Morpheus/the Sandman just for funsies because I want to write him interacting with a slightly unhinged college student

Anyways that’s it for now, sorry I abandoned this account for so long lol but I’m back! (We’ll see how long that’ll last)

[danielfuckingricciardo]

r/relationship_advice - Charles Leclerc x Reader

A collection of Reddit posts, comments, tweets, and fic

Pairing - Charles Leclerc x Reader

Synopsis - The reader is in a difficult situation, and decides to make a post on Reddit to get help with her predicament. What she doesn’t expect is for people to realise who she is.

Content Warnings - swearing, sexual references

Author’s Note - this is not just a standard fic! This is a collection of Reddit posts, comments, tweets, and fic. Sort of like a collage of different shit all telling one story! Because of this the perspective is different in each part, like the Reddit posts are in first person, and the fic is in second person as usual!

I wanted to experiment with something different structure wise, you know me, I like to fuck with stuff and do weird shit. If high school musical taught me anything, it’s that we shouldn’t stick to the status quo.

Please do tell me if you like the structure, if you don’t, if there’s anything you don’t think works etc! I’d love to do more shit like this so if you have any ideas of what else I could include in one of these (like text messages, DMs, Snapchat, insta stories, whatever) do let me know!

r/relationship_advice • 5d ago

Posted by throwaway27936

My (25F) boyfriend (27M) thinks I have a thing for one of my coworkers (25M). The worst thing about it is… I do.

I wanna preface this by saying that I’ve been with my boyfriend since I was 18. And I do love him. But last year I managed to bag my dream job and it meant us going long distance.

I wasn’t worried about the whole thing, after all, we’d been together for six years already and lived together for three of them. We had two cats together, and the word on the street was he was thinking of buying a ring to pop the question before I got my job offer.

The job is my dream job, and it’s actually what we had initially bonded over when we were at college together. When I got that email saying the job was mine he was so excited for me, and I was thrilled. It’s what I’d been working towards for so long!

But as things set in for him, and he realised I would be away for weeks and weeks, I could tell something changed. It was like he was faking being happy for me. The proposal never came, I suppose maybe because I was going to be away for days like valentines and both our birthdays, maybe he just couldn’t find the right time? Either that or he didn’t want to be engaged to someone who was hardly around?

He drove me to the airport, and no matter how sad I could see he was feeling, I couldn’t stop my excitement as I jetted off to another country to begin my work! I suppose that didn’t help either, him seeing how pumped I was and not being all tearful and sad to be leaving him. But I couldn’t help it, and I was sad, I just didn’t want to make our parting more upsetting for myself or for him.

The job kept me busy. Like super busy. But I did manage to come home every now and then, to tell him about all the amazing things I’d seen and done, do date nights snuggled up on the couch with our kitties Nemo (4M) and Milo (4M) but something was just… off??

And him being off, not being as affectionate and loving as he used to be, is what drew me to my coworker.

The final nail in the coffin was my trip home during summer last year. My bf and I pretty much argued the entire time, just over little tiny things, until suddenly, he just exploded. He berated me over the fact that I was never home. That he was the one stuck there looking after the cats, living a normal life while I was living my dream and flying around the world with my team.

It hurt, and I’m gonna be honest with you, I said some things I wish I could take back. Mainly along the lines of ‘it’s not my fault you weren’t able to make something of your life like I was.’

I regret saying that. I know that he struggled after college. It was a low blow. But I was angry, because I was living my dream, the dream we had bonded over that night in the sports bar just off campus when we met. He should be happy for me, right?

Well, after I left at the end of summer on a particularly sour note, I was ready to be done with him. I thought I’d give him the benefit of the doubt and hope he’d gotten it all out of his system and that when I returned during a two week break in October, things would be better.

We hardly talked. September meant no FaceTimes, hardly any texts, no likes on my Instagram posts, nothing. Zilch. Nada. I tried, god knows I did. Scrolling through our WhatsApp chat makes me look so fucking desperate but I wasn’t ready to give up.

One day, after another period of being totally ignored, my coworker, who I shall call C, noticed I was upset. Before now I hadn’t spent much time with C as he was far more high profile than me. I worked in the wings but he was the star of the show.

I didn’t mean to trauma dump on him, but all these feelings just kinda came spilling out. I ended up crying on him and getting his shirt all covered in snot. It was gross, I apologised, he said not to worry about it.

The thing about C is, is that he’s beautiful. I know you don’t often see the word beautiful being used to describe a man, but he is. He’s gorgeous. Like don’t get me wrong, my bf is hot too, but C? Damn.

He was so kind to me, he listened, he wiped away my tears, cheered me up, and made me feel better again.

Don’t get me wrong, I would never cheat. I couldn’t. One of my best friends from college had her boyfriend of five years cheat on her and she was heartbroken. I still loved my boyfriend, I couldn’t do that to him. Besides, C himself already had a girlfriend. So anything between me and him was completely off the table.

But that didn’t stop me from catching feelings for C. There’s nothing cheaty about catching feelings, right? Especially when your bf is ghosting you the way mine was.

But C and I became good friends over the time we spent together throughout September after the whole snotty crying situation. He was a good friend, and it was nice to have someone in your corner when all of your normal best friends are halfway across the world.

When I went home in October, I arrived at my bf and I’s flat to find him sat in the lounge, surrounded by packed boxes and suitcases. He told me it was over.

Naturally I cried, I was hoping we’d have a chance to smooth things out, especially over Christmas when I’d have a whole two months to spend at home before I had to be back at work.

My bf showed me a picture on his phone, it must have been from some night out I can hardly remember after a good weekend’s work. And there I was with C. We were just dancing, but his hand was on my waist. Man we must have been so hammered.

My bf assumed I had a thing for him, which I did, but I would never have acted on. But I told him I didn’t, that we were just good friends, which wasn’t a lie. We were good friends, I just happened to fancy the pants off C but only in secret.

He wouldn’t listen to me, told me the whole long distance thing wasn’t working and that I either had to quit my job, or we would have to break up.

I couldn’t quit. I loved my job too much. It was exactly what I had dreamed of since I was a child. I told him that, and he said it was over.

He said he’d look after the cats until I found a new stable home someplace, and that he’d let me store my things in the spare room, but I didn’t live here anymore.

I left for my parents that night, in tears, and texted C. I told him what had happened, and he said I should get out, go visit him at home and keep my mind off of things before we had to travel again.

I knew I shouldn’t have. That it just made C and I’s relationship look even more suspicious. But I was upset, and angry. Besides, I wasn’t the only one at fault. If my bf had just replied to my texts more, and been willing to work harder on the long distance thing, I think we’d still be together now.

But I went to see C. And we had a great week. We hung out, played video games, got drunk, it was great. Of course his girlfriend stopped by every day for a few hours at least, and sometimes I’d be left alone in his apartment while they went for dinner and stuff. And that was when I cried.

I felt guilty for something that was beyond my control. I felt angry because, if my boyfriend had just been more willing to make it work, I wouldn’t have gone crying to C and I wouldn’t have ended up with this big fat crush on him.

By the time it was time to return home, I went and moved all my stuff out of my now ex-bf’s apartment and took the cats to my parents. I spent Christmas with them, and despite how much it hurt being alone surrounded by my family who were all coupled up, I had my work in 2023 to get me through.

But I also had C. We texted, a lot, after the breakup. I think he wanted to make sure I was okay? That I wasn’t feeling down.

But eventually it was my turn to check in on him, as C and his gf broke up. We spent a lot of time on FaceTime that week, being a pair of sad single losers drinking red wine and talking shit. He was my friend, and I cared about him a lot.

Come New Year’s Eve, I was invited to see in 2023 with my closest friends at a party one of them was hosting. And it was there I saw my ex-bf for the first time since I moved out.

I expected he would be there, after all, we had a lot of the same friends. But I was prepared for it. I’d cried my tears out, I’d gotten out all of my frustrations, and so when he asked me out on the balcony for a chat, I said ‘sure, why not?’

Call it a bad idea, call me foolish, but we ended up making out up there. We kissed at midnight that night, and promised to give it all another go. He said he wouldn’t get jealous of me and my job, and I said I’d try to come home more and spend more time with him.

The first week of January, I moved my stuff back into our apartment, brought the cats back from my parents, and we rekindled our relationship. Despite all the pain I went through, I still loved him. And he still loved me.

But then C texted, asked if I wanted to fly over and hang out for a weekend. My bf wasn’t too happy with the idea. He was still convinced I had a thing for C, despite me telling him most certainly that I didn’t. But I did still have a thing for C.

Thing were frosty between me and my bf for a few days, and as I prepared to return to work, he got increasingly more agitated. But eventually, when it came time for me to leave, he cried. I cried and hugged him as we parted at the airport. I promised I would call and text every day, and that I wouldn’t ignore him in favour of work.

I loved my boyfriend, I really did. But then I saw C again. And now I don’t know what to do.

I love both of them, so much, and I don’t know what I want anymore. Is it selfish of me to stay with my bf? Would it be stupid for me to call it quits with him and risk things with C even if he doesn’t feel the same? I’m just stuck in a rut and my emotions are going crazy. Help!

TLDR: my boyfriend thinks I’m in love with my coworker, I say I’m not, but after a shaky period with my bf, I fell for my coworker. Now I don’t know what to do! Help?

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AutoModerator • 2d ago

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Reindeerbuddy27 • 4d ago

I think your boyfriend sounds like a dick. It was his fault for ghosting you! If he hadn’t have reacted the way he did over summer you would have never bonded with your coworker and caught feelings. IMO you’d be better off breaking up with him and either being single or getting with C, though I’d give him some time to get over his own ex-gf before you try anything!

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Throwaway27936 • 4d ago

Yeah, it kinda was his fault I caught feelings in the first place, you’re right. I wouldn’t say he was a dick, he just missed me I guess and his sadness turned into anger the longer I was away and it just all exploded. Even so, we’re back together and on good terms, and I still love him. I don’t think I could break up with him without a valid reason to do so?

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ReindeerBuddy27 • 3d ago

I get that you don’t want to lose him, but if you’re not fully invested in the relationship with him and want to explore the possibility of having something with C, I think breaking up with your bf would be the fairest thing to do.

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Throwaway27936 • 3d ago

Hmm… maybe you’re right. I need some time to think about it. Thanks for the advice! I really appreciate it! ♥︎

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Pedr0Pascal14 • 4d ago

Would you maybe be able to ask your bf about opening your relationship? Allowing you to pursue things with C to see where they lead while also keeping your bf?

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Throwaway27936 • 4d ago

Definitely not. He’s all about monogamy, and I am too. If I suddenly asked about opening the relationship he’d be even more suspicious of me and my reasons for asking.

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Demeter779 • 3d ago

Could you reduce the amount of time spent at work maybe? Like going part time so you’re only away for six months out of the year?

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Throwaway27936 • 3d ago

Sadly it’s not possible. My job is kinda all or nothing. If I asked about reducing my hours they’d laugh in my face and fire me. There’s plenty of people who would die for a chance to fill my role so I wouldn’t be missed.

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Demeter779 • 3d ago

That sucks. I would say tho, without being mean, it seems like your job is your number one priority and not your bf. While there’s nothing wrong with that, I think that’s where the problem lies. Especially if before you took the job he was always your number one! It’s probably been hard for him to adjust! I hate to say it, but I don’t think you two are meant to be and these problems are only gonna get worse this year with you being away. This situation really sucks for you OP, I’m sorry.

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LionVerstappen33 • 2d ago

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Hon3ybadg3r • 2d ago

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MonacoBaby • 2d ago

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r/relationship_advice • 6hr ago

posted by Throwaway27936

UPDATE: My (25F) boyfriend (27M) thinks I have a thing for one of my coworkers (25M). The worst thing about it is… I do.

Okay, ya got me.

Considering my life has already been put under extreme scrutiny from random strangers on the internet to literal news publications, I figured it couldn’t get any worse than it already has and so I’d post an update here.

I wanna start out by saying I am stupid. I made my post thinking I was fully anonymous, the account was a throwaway with no real ties to my irl identity and I tried as hard as I could to conceal the true nature of my work, but you F1 girlies are far too intelligent and I realise that now.

In hindsight I shouldn’t have deleted those comments, because it did just make me look more suspicious. If I’d have left them, maybe even replied to them and said ‘yes I work in F1 but can we please keep it on the dl as I don’t want anyone finding out who I am’ then right now I wouldn’t be sat in my childhood bedroom crying with a cat on my knee typing out this post.

I also wanna say that I hold no grudges with Twitter user LionVerstappen_ I mean, they’re far too clever for their own good, and they terrify me, but I don’t hate them, and all the hate that they’re getting is unjustified and wrong. It was my fault for posting on the internet thinking I’d be safe. That’s on me, not them, so please do leave them alone.

Since that post was made, a lot has changed. Obviously I had already returned to work, I was in the factory at Maranello working on some technical shit I won’t bore you with and getting ready for the livery reveal on the 14th and fine tuning for next season.

I had seen LionVerstappen_ and Hon3ybadg3r’s comments and deleted them as soon as I did. I didn’t fancy answering them, and thought ‘shit, this is getting a little dicey’ and disabled commenting on my post. I thought that would be the end of that, I had some good advice given before that, and I would mull it over before I next saw my boyfriend.

Suddenly, my phone just started fucking blowing up. I had a bunch of random people request to follow me on Instagram, and when I say a bunch, I mean a fuck load. Like 20k follow requests in the space of a few hours. Immediately I was like ‘what the fuck?’ Assuming I’d been hacked or something. I had like 200 followers before that, and I knew all of them in some capacity, and I hadn’t just become some internet celebrity (not on purpose at least) so what was going on?

That’s when I got a message from my friend back home. She’s an F1 fan and is pretty active on F1twt which is how she saw the posts. She sent me a link to the original tweet from LionVerstappen_ as well as to DeuxMoi’s Instagram stories. I was shocked, I really didn’t know how to react.

I couldn’t believe that my silly little Reddit post had actually been figured out, especially after I’d deleted those comments, I thought it was the end. I debated taking down the Reddit post, but really, what was that gonna do? There were already screenshots all over Twitter so it wouldn’t make a difference.

This all happened during my lunch break, and after lunch, I was called into my boss’ office. It seems the Ferrari PR department had also seen the tweets and the speculation, and they wanted to talk to me about it.

I burst into tears. My personal life was all over the internet, my boyfriend had probably seen it all and knew how I felt and that I’d been lying to him about my feelings. I knew it was only a matter of time before he called me and ended things with me again.

Thankfully, the PR team were nice to me. They said they’d handle it, and most importantly, that my job was safe. It was nothing to do with my capabilities as an engineer, after all, so I suppose it made sense. What they did do, however, is give me the week off to sort my life out.

I left the factory sniffling like a baby, packed my shit and got on a plane home. I called my parents to pick me up from the airport, and asked them to take my stuff back to their place but to drop me at the apartment my bf and I shared.

When I entered the flat I had to brace myself. I knew it wasn’t gonna be pretty. My bf was sat on the sofa, surrounded by packed bags and boxes again. Deja vu anyone?

He didn’t yell, or threaten me, or call me names like I thought he would. No, he stood up, and hugged me. And I started crying like a baby. Full on body shaking sobs.

I told him I was sorry, that I loved him, but I understood. He said it was okay.

We sat down together surrounded by the boxes of my things, he made me a coffee, and we talked. It was refreshing to talk to him considering last time he forced me out of the house without a word.

I told him everything, from start to finish. About how neglected and sad I felt after the summer break, how his ghosting was what led me to Charles, how I still really loved him but just didn’t know what I wanted, and how scary it was to have my private life all over the internet like that.

He was sympathetic, but ultimately he said that we just didn’t work together. He wished me luck, I took the cats, got in a taxi, and went home.

Funnily enough, I wasn’t really upset about the whole relationship ending. Mainly because I was just so relieved my ex was handling the whole situation so well. I’ll miss him terribly, he was more than just my boyfriend but he was my best friend too (I am aware of how cliche that sounds).

We had bonded over F1 all those years ago. I was cheering for Sebastian Vettel and he was cheering for Lewis Hamilton while watching a race in a sports bar. We ended up having an argument over who’s driver was better which after a few drinks evolved into us making out in the smoking area. That night I’d told him my dream, to be an engineer, to work for Ferrari. He believed in me, and it’s due to his belief that I managed to get my job. It’s a shame that achieving my dream was the thing that eventually tore us apart.

But anyway, now I’m at home. My parents are out collecting all my things from my ex’s flat right now, and I’ve finally calmed down enough to start typing this out. Mainly because Nemo has decided to curl up in my lap and have a big nap.

Consider my overdue cat tax paid:

When I settled in my room, Charles called me. I nearly didn’t answer it, but I did.

For the sake of his privacy, I’m not going to tell you all of what was said. But I can say that he doesn’t hate me, and if anything, he feels so bad for the situation I ended up in.

I suppose he knows what it’s like to have all that speculation around your personal life 24/7 and can empathise more than most of the people in my life.

I will also say, that we are just friends! That’s all. This isn’t a hallmark movie. He hasn’t hopped on his private jet, flown all the way to my home in bumblefuck nowhere to declare his love for me, and we all live happily ever after.

Real life is a lot more complicated than that. And a lot shittier and a lot more depressing.

I’m going back to Maranello tomorrow morning. I know they gave me the week off, but I’m going to spend some time in the area, maybe even look at getting a proper rental and moving out there full time. I have nothing really to tie me to my home anymore, not really (and yes I will bring the cats with me and pay a cat sitter!)

So yeah, this is my update. You don’t need to worry about me, I’m fine now, I think! Moving onwards and upwards. One day this will be a funny story I’ll look back on. It isn’t funny now, but it will be.

I do ask, however, that everyone reading this post thinks before they post. I’m a real person, and thanks to all this drama my life is fucked up and I’m now Googling how to emigrate to Italy.

Before you press that button, just consider how it will affect that person, and if it’s really worth it. Sometimes it is, I’ll grant you. But we’re all real people. Those of us in the factories, the TPs, the drivers, everyone. And we have a right to respect and privacy just as any ordinary person does. Think before you post.

I’m signing off now. It’s been a wild ride. Comments will be off, no doubt you’ll be making comments and dissecting my every word on Twitter anyways but at least I don’t have to see em.

I likely won’t update this again.

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AutoModerator • 6hr ago

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March 5th 2023

No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t quite acclimate yourself to the dry heat of Bahrain. Your hair clung to your neck with sweat, and your team polo was already sodden and damp.

You weren’t quite sure if it was just the heat, or the nerves getting to you as the cars begun their formation lap. You fidgeted with the pen in your hand, your eyes firmly transfixed on the screen in front of you as you catch a glimpse of red zooming down the straight.

Lucky for you, things had died down. As the season began, people had the racing to focus on, and your silly little Reddit post had been almost forgotten. You were able to blend into the background, just as you had done that previous year. You were just another engineer hidden amongst a sea of red shirts, and it was nice.

You knew, however, that this peace would be short lived. It was only a matter of time before you were all over social media again, not as the mystery Reddit user anymore, but as Charles Leclerc’s new girlfriend.

You didn’t lie in your post, the two of you hadn’t gotten together on that fateful day. You were just friends. That was until February 14th.

The day of the car reveal, which also happened to coincide with Valentine’s Day. You didn’t mind, of course, after all, you had no plans. You were quite happy to have something else going on to distract you from your tragic love life.

Charles, however, had made plans. After the reveal you went back to his hotel room, where he had organised a fancy dinner with candles and roses. He asked you out then and there, away from the prying eyes of fans or paparazzi.

To you, it was the most romantic gesture anyone could ever make. It was clear he had thought of you, keeping the moment as private as possible to protect you.

He, of course, knew how you felt about him. He didn’t have to worry, he knew you’d say yes. And you did.

You spent the evening drinking wine, chatting, just as you had always done. But one thing was different - after dessert he kissed you.

The kiss was sweet, and it wasn’t just because of the tiramisu he had eaten.

He didn’t want to rush you, he knew that you were still healing from your trauma. But you weren’t so coy.

February 14th marked the first time you had kissed Charles Leclerc, but it also marked the first time the two of you made love.

Since that day, the two of you had kept your relationship a secret. You cooked for one another, or ordered takeout, watched movies, cuddled with the cats, and just enjoyed each other’s company.

It was exactly what you had wanted. A nice, private relationship with the man you had fallen so deeply in love with.

But there was a small niggling feeling in the back of your mind that it was all about to change. If he won this race, you wouldn’t be able to control yourself. You wouldn’t be able to stop the urge to throw yourself into his arms, to kiss him all over, to tell him just how proud you are.

A race winner always deserves a kiss, right?

You chew on your nail as the final cars pull into position, ready for lights out.

Charles had taken pole position that previous day, but you had managed to save your celebrations for later, sneaking over to his hotel room when no one was around and promptly sneaking out early this morning to avoid suspicion.

Lights out - Charles’ reactions are lightning. He manages to keep away from the rest of the grid, allowing the cars behind him to battle for P2.

The Ferrari garage is hopeful, but they know better than to cheer before the race is won. Too many bittersweet moments from the previous season haunted each and every one of them.

All was well, Charles was set for the first win of the season, until a collision at the back of the pack meant that the safety car reared its ugly head.

Max was getting closer and closer to the back of Charles’ car. They weaved behind the safety car, getting ready, preparing for the moment that it would leave the track.

As the car enters the pit lane, the power was in Charles’ hands. He needed to make a good move, surprise Max, get him on the back foot and out of sight.

There were only two laps left. Two laps to victory. Max just had to stay back, and Charles had to race like he’d never raced before.

You chew on your nails anxiously as Charles takes each and every corner, hitting the apex with precision. All that time in the simulator was definitely paying off.

They cross the line for the final lap, Charles was a car’s length ahead, but Max too was pushing hard. He wanted that first win just as much as Charles did. But you told yourself mentally that he wasn’t going to get it. This was Charles’ race, and he was going to stand on that top step of the podium.

The seconds felt like hours. You make eye contact with Vasseur across the garage and he gives you a small smile. A reassuring one, and you smile back. It probably looked more like a grimace but it was the best you could muster.

The final corner passes with ease, and it looks like Charles has hung onto his win. Max is practically driving alongside him as they cross the finish line. No one cheers.

It’s a waiting game, waiting for the photo to see who had crossed the line first.

You bury your head in your hands, unable to think, talk, move or see until the entire garage erupts into cheers.

He had done it! Charles had won the race!

Tears begin to fall from your eyes as you finally look up. You were sobbing, you couldn’t help it. He’d won.

You give every mechanic you see a pat on the back as you walk over to Vasseur. He was smiling brightly at you. He had so much faith in Charles, he loved him like a son.

He embraces you tightly as you cry onto his shoulder, and he whispers ever so quietly “go see him. See your love.”

You didn’t even care to ask how he was able to see right through the two of you. You just pulled away and nodded as you run out of the garage towards parc ferme alongside a sea of red suits and shirts.

You push your way to the front, definitely sure that your tear stained face would be onscreen for the world to see, but you didn’t care. The world had seen worse of you, after all.

When Charles takes off his helmet, your heart skips a beat. He was beautiful, every day he was beautiful. Even when he was still sweaty and breathing heavy from the adrenaline of the race, his face marked with balaclava lines.

He makes a beeline for you, pulling you in for a hug the way friends would hug one another.

“Kiss me.” You say.

“Are you sure, mon amour?” He whispers, and you nod.

Charles captures your lips in a kiss reminiscent of your very first just a few days ago. The cameras were definitely on you, but you didn’t care.

No doubt social media would be going crazy over the whole thing, but it was nothing new to you. At least this time you weren’t just in love with your coworker, but he was in love with you too.

Whatever the internet may have to throw at you, this time, you didn’t have to handle it alone.

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~ THE END ~

[devourable]

I have a few questions about Abraham.

1. What genre of music does he listen to?

2. Does he like to read?

3. What's his favourite food?

4. Is he in uni/collage? If so what is he studying? If not what is he doing?

5. Would he ever be okay and not feel the need to victimise himself so that he can receive affection?

6. And lastly what are his general thoughts around marriage, before and/or after meeting his darling.

Sorry these were some thoughts that were stuck in my head. I hope they are okay.

1. mostly gospel and choir stuff lmfao. he mostly listens to church radio! but i feel like when introduced to other genres he'd be partial to shit like twentyone pilots lmfao

2. he loves to read! it's one of his few escapes from his religion (though he'd never ever express that lmfao). he mostly only has access to what he's been given but he's slowly branching out. he likes fantasy and science fiction!

3. his darling i think he'd get super hooked on food that has a lot of spices, like cajun food or maybe indian/SEA food? boy has NOT known flavor for most of his life 😭 i think he'd like a good curry or gumbo but it's smth he'd only be able to have like once a month else he'd get overwhelmed

4. iii am not too sure tbh? i think he'd be piled with the expectation of working for his church the moment he's done w high school so he's not totally sure what he wants in life. if darling goes to a nearby college then he'd probably look into attending though!

5. maybe in the future, esp if he has a darling who actively wants to help him get over that; he's been essentially brainwashed into thinking any form of enjoyment outside of partaking in his religion is bad so he sort of has to compartmentalize those feelings as "if the feelings are being pushed onto me rather than me seeking it out, i didn't do anything wrong". don't get me wrong, though! he absolutely loves affection no matter what he has to do to accept it. he doesn't care, at the end of the day he genuinely wants it and that's what matters.

6. before meeting his darling, he just saw it as another facet of his faith; something he knew was part of his future but nothing he particularly cared much for. after meeting his darling, though? it definitely became something to look forward to. the idea of his darling becoming his physically, legally, and spiritually? and vice versa? he can't think about it too much without getting overwhelmed but it's definitely something he fantasizes about.

these were fine! i like knowing ppl wanna learn ab my goobers 🫶

[maxwellatoms]

I would love your full thoughts on the AI debate. I think it can become a very useful tool for artists but that’s my non artists opinion

A few months back, I was telling my partner how the AI-generated art at this moment in time reminds me of the works of the Surrealists. The Surrealists were big on drawing from dreams and the subconscious, and came up with a bunch of games and exercises designed to stimulate creativity by divorcing your conscious mind from the artistic process. I said that so far humanity hadn't created a conscious AI, but I wondered aloud if we hadn't created a subconscious AI. I guess that's why some of these programs have names like "Deep Dream" and "Dall-E".

My partner said, "You're so high right now." And I was. But I still think that we created something, and it's dreaming. And it's very much listening to what we're whispering in its ear.

The problem some people have with AI-generated art is that it steals art from actual living and dead human artists in order to create its works. It's considered poor taste among humans to steal someone's artwork and present it as your own. But we are allowed to collage and to nip around the edges of copyrights until we can find something we're actually allowed to do. So it seems like a grey area.

The real problem though, is that it absolutely will steal your jorb. And my jorb. I can definitely see a not-too-distant future where anyone will be able to sit down and spend a couple of days crafting their own full-length motion picture with AI assistance, and have it look as good as or better than anything we've got today. Not everyone is a storyteller, but I think it'll really open up the field for almost anyone to try. The next Stephen Spielberg could be just some sixteen year old kid on the internet, and I think that scares a lot of employed artists. Because even employed artists are just sort of barely employed.

In the end, it just sort of seems like one of those things (there are so many!) that you just can't do anything about. Studios are always looking to pinch pennies, and there's no way the biggies aren't funding research into this stuff. The really dark times will be when the studios have the tech and the public hasn't gotten its hands on it yet. Things are gonna get weird.

Artists are going to have to deal with AI the same way so many other industries will. More and more, I think it's the changes coming for society at large that people dread. We humans certainly don't seem to be very good at preparing for the inevitable.

In the short term, let it inspire you if you want. The way you might let a dream inspire you. Definitely don't claim it as your own work. Maybe every once in a while type in, "Thanks for all of the inspiration, AI. You're really cool." And then hope it remembers your kind words on Judgment Day.

🤷

[autisticwizardwritings]

Shopping and makeup with Svetlana!!

Requested by one of my friends! :] (sorry if this is kinda OOC, It's my first time writing for her - meant to be seen as platonic, but read it however you like <3) - (also originally written for a younger reader, but I made sure it was readable both ways.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡♡♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Take her to Sephora. PLEASE. She will love you forever.

She’s not really picky when it comes to makeup brands

She’ll use anything that looks nice, but she does have her favourites

(I know nothing about makeup so I can’t really specify brands)

You guys would probably go into H&M too

She’d want to do a little fashion show with you, even if you don’t end up buying anything.

Pick a handful of outfits, show them off to each other <3

She would POSE. And I mean POSE. Dramatic, wonderful poses. Very over the top /pos

WILL ask you to take pictures.

She’ll take pictures of you too!! (If you’re comfortable with that)

She’ll make a collage of all your photos and outfits, making it all pretty and sparkly like a magazine

I don’t think she’s big on mall lunches

Likes the place itself, but not the food.

Probably somewhat of a picky eater

She does like McDonald’s though

Gets you a happy meal if you want one

“Excuse me, they asked for no pickles!” (or with pickles, if you like them.)

Will help you exchange the toy you get if you don’t like it

100% has a collection of the Squishimallows and little bears they used to have a few years ago. 

Like. The ones that had blue, and purple with polka dots, and there was a pink one? She has all of them in a shoebox on a shelf somewhere.

(Will 100% let you play with them btw. And she's playing too. Have a doll house? That's their new home. Don't have one? Making one out of cardboard ASAP)

Definitely gets either strawberry fruitopia, sprite, or iced tea.

Big fan of their soft serve cones

She’ll take you to any stores you wanna go to. May get distracted by shiny things, but she’ll look around a shop you like, even if she isn’t a fan of it. (may complain, but not in a mean way. Just silly little comments)

"Ooh! Now look at this shirt! This would look so wonderful on you. We are getting it!"

DANGLY EARRINGS!!! PLEASE! She LOVES those. Will hold them up to her ears and make them sway back and forth really quickly, Giggling like a maniac. A sweet one, of course. She just gets so excited over them. ESPECIALLY if they’re shiny in the light.

Tbh I don't think they have their ears pierced. I imagine they'd be a little too scared to actually do that, so she probably has clip on ones.

Anyways back to the makeup stuff I got sidetracked

Loves the little sample lipsticks and stuff you can put on your wrist to see the colour

Tries ALL of them

Stop her before their whole arm is covered in different shades of pink and red lipstick

LOVESSS the perfume bottles you can test out. Smells all of them, and tries them on. 

Makeup time!!

Later in the night, or maybe the day after, she'd want to try all sorts of different makeup styles with you

Tries some herself, tries some on you, and has you try some on her!

You have full creative control here! Go wild!

Even if it's messy, she'll love it. Staring at it in one of those little round table mirrors, just kinda admiring your work :)

I think she'd try her best to sit still, and do a pretty good job, but she'd be super excited so maybe a little bit jittery, for lack of better words.

Doing your makeup!!

I think she'd have a really steady hand

Perfect lines, not pressing too hard or too soft, she's just really good at it.

Smiling and telling you how gorgeous you look the whole time

(Friendship goals fr)

"So beautiful. So so beautiful. With and without! Look at you!"

[swollenbabyfat]

so maybe this is too out there of a question but you seem to draw a lot so i was wondering.... how? asking from a place where I used to draw a ton but had a burnout from it that i don't think i ever really recovered from, now im barely drawing and i feel like my skills are decaying but i just can't get myself to draw, and when i do i can't make anything i like and i just get frustrated ): i want to draw, i still have that urge in me to draw but i just. can't. do you have any advice? if not you can just ignore this ask.

Hmm....I will try my best to give a few ideas to help! But ultimately, I don't have a lot of interest outside of drawing to be honest (to the point I can argue in the past it's been unhealthy), I think a lot of it has to do with being autistic and it being my special interest, and I've always had a pretty high stamina from it, so I'm kind of bad to be compared to in a way I think ^^;

A few things though

-I have projects I work on, even if loosely, basically at all times. I consider my characters stories projects, and do a lot of work surrounding them outside of art that fuels the art - such as making mood boards, writing and talking about them, making playlist, stuff like that.

-If I feel burnt out in one area of art, i.e. character illustrations, I try to do something different, such as background focused work, or doing something outside of what I would normally do, like collage.

-I'm a really big advocate for studies to get out of burn out, and it's most likely what I will do to get out of one myself. Switching mindsets keeps things from getting monotonous, and can put your brain into a different gear which makes it easier to be creative in what you want it to be. Timed figure drawings can also be fun once you break through the "oh god I'm shit at this" feelings when you first start doing them.

-Drawing for others can be really nice sometimes, whether it be through art trades or drawing shit for your loved ones. I tend to do the latter one the most when I feel burnt out from my own work, and like to talk about their oc's a lot anyways, so it's fun to get to know their characters more through art. I use to also do art parties with my friends and do things like switching canvases every ten minutes, all working on one prompt but doing our own thing, stuff like that. In a similar vein, sometimes asking your friends for prompts can be helpful, think of it as an assignment of sorts if that works for you!

-Figure out WHAT you want to draw before you sit down and draw it. There's a lot of different ways to do this, a lot of time if I feel stuck unable to do work I'll look for visual references and make a mood board, or think about themes I've been wanting to explore and ponder on that for some times, a lot of times pieces will sit in my head for a month or so before I actually tackle them. Sometimes I'll go to my inspiration blog and hit the random button a few times and take the images I get from that and try to build something with it. If you feel stuck on a certain part of a piece, break it down further by doing a study of what's getting you stuck (if it has to do with form, I suggest tracing said thing and then practice drawing it yourself afterwards).

Overall, please don't beat yourself up, artist go through cycles of growth and slumber and sometimes you just have to rest, especially if you have outside factors making it hard for you to focus on drawing. It takes a lot for art skills to degrade and even if it were to be the case there's a lot of beauty in picking back up a skill, and sometimes you can even learn it better the second time.

I hope any of this was helpful, I'm rooting for you!

[totallovestrucksimp]

Gilded Age prompt: George Russell maybe the most intimidating and shrewdest businessman in New York, but he is a proud and boastful grandfather over the smallest new development in his grandchild’s life (first smile, laugh, standing up, walking or even first lost tooth). At some society event Marian overhears him bragging about a new milestone.

(Ps. Love your Gilded Age fics!)

Thank you! I don’t normally write this kind of stuff since it’s not technically Larry x Marian, so forgive me for this one being a bit shorter.

A mothers worry and a grandfather’s reassurance.

Since becoming a mother, Marians started hating going to dinners and balls in Newport. Oh yes, it was nice being able to go out again, wearing normal sized clothes and not feeling like the size of a house. But not seeing her darling eleven-month-old for nearly two weeks left her aching and worried. Even with Nanny taking care of her and Gladys watchful eye checking up on her, she can’t help but feel as if she’s missing something when she’s away.

No one told Marian how much she’d worry about her child when she was pregnant. Her aunt Agnes said that nanny will take care of most of the work, but Marian wanted a more hands-on approach with her baby like Mrs Russell did. But a more active roll meant more active responsibility. Is she eating enough? Is she eating the right stuff? How much is she supposed to be sleeping? Should she be doing more?

She always wondered if her dedication to her daughters life was more of a hinderance to her child’s life than a gift. None of her other society friends are as involved as she is in their child’s lives, yet some of their children seem to be advancing much faster than Lucy.

Is it my fault?

Walking around the ballroom at Mamie Fishes Newport home, she tries to look for her husband. And old schoolmate from collage dragged him off when he first arrived and she hasn’t seen him since.

For a moment she thinks she’s seen him on the other side of the ballroom, but it turns out to only be his father, George Russell. With his curly black locks and tanned skin Larry has started looking more and more like his father as the years go by. As she approaches him from behind, she overhears the tail end of his conversation with another man.

“-and already talking in sentences. The doctor said that most children don’t starting doing that until they’re two and a half.”

“Yes, I remember when our granddaughter Lucy started talking.” The elder Russell said, taking a a glass of champagne from a nearby footmen. 

“She began when she was only 5 months old, and she could say “Mama” and “Pa” before she was even one. Far more intelligent than my children were at her age.” He smiles.

“I see! Well, you must have quite the nanny for her to be progressing so quickly.”

“You should be praising her mother, she’s been raising her just as much as nanny.”

“Heavens! Is that not too time consuming for her? Doesn’t she have more important things to do?”

“Raising her daughter is a very important thing to do. I believe it’s her influence that’s lead to our Lucy being so verbal at such a young age. I already know she will do the Russell name very proud in the future.”

“Ah, yes, I see. Now if you’ll excuse me, I see my friend over there that I need to see.” The man leaves as he awkwardly walks by Marian, who finally catches George’s eye.

“Marian, enjoying the party?”

“Oh, very much, yes.” She stops herself before she lets her voice betray her. “I overheard what you said to that man. Thank you for your kind words.”

“Lucy is very smart for her age, and that sort of thing doesn’t come with luck. You most definitely had a hand in that. You should be proud of how far your daughter has come.”

Marian smiles. “You don’t know how much that means to me.” 

She readjust herself, now glancing over the ballroom one more. “Have you seen your son anywhere?”

“I believe he’s fallen into the clutches of Mrs Fish.” He nods over to a corner where Mamie Fish appears to be questioning a very trapped-looking Larry. “And I think it’s time you go save him.”

Marian laughs as she walks towards her husband, grateful for the family she has made.

*** Got a Larry x Marian Gilded Age fic request? Submit it here!

[cherry-queens-blog]

Here's my werewolf AU where gyutaro is a werewolf who takes a liking to reader for a specific reason. I really hope you guy's like it I worked hard on this and kept fixing a lot and adding stuff in. I felt really nervous about posting it thinking it's not as good as I think it is.

Note: I will have to post a part two cause this is already pretty long.

WARNING: violence, death.

FULL MOON

After collage had ended you decided to meet up with your friends to discus the plans you all talked about on going camping for the whole week. You couldn't help but feel nervous about the whole thing, since you've never been camping before but all your friends seemed pretty excited about it so why shouldn't you be?, they even knew of a good spot too so maybe everything will be fine?. What's there to be worried about anyways besides well, all the wild life like bears, wolves and other animals that will be out there with you guys. You walk out of the collage, looking around for your friends when you hear Mia calling out to you. "HEY Y/N OVER HERE" she shouts while waving her hand in the air, gesturing for you to come over. While walking up to them you noticed they had already been discussing the trip without you which was a bit annoying since it was agreed on that it would be discussed once everyone was together, but they decided to start without you anyways. "so uh.. what's the plan here?. What all are we doing while we're there?" You ask but it seems they just ignored your question entirely, just flat out talking over you while laughing at some stupid jokes they were cracking back and forth. Mia who was your best friend since high school also seemed to busy pestering her new boyfriend, planning to sleep with him on the trip instead of listening to you as well as the other two. You just stood there, watching everyone, starting to question if you even wanted to go at this point since none of them seemed to be acknowledging your existence any more so, you just start preparing yourself to be ignored through this whole trip that was planned out.

Kana who was the more popular one in the group had mentioned something about drinking and partying which didn't interest you since your not much of a drinker at all but if it helps you have some form of fun then why the hell not?. "hey y/n don't forget to bring blankets and a swimsuit alright?" Kenji said causing you to snap out of your thoughts. "uh sure... okay". Monday came around and you got up pretty early to pack all the things you needed like your mp3 for music, a book, blankets, swimsuit. Once you had all your bags packed up for the week, doing a double check just to be sure your not missing anything important. "okay so.. warm clothes, check, blankets check, swimsuit.. I should be good" You muttered to yourself as your friends pulled into your driveway ringing your phone to let you know they had arrived to pick you up. Grabbing what you could you head out, swinging open your door to see Mia standing there by your front door to help you load up your luggage into Kenji's truck. "you ready to go and have some fun y/n?" she teases a bit before taking your bags from you, loading them up while you shrug and head back in to grab the rest of your stuff, before locking up your house and getting in the van with Ren, Kana, and Mia.

The drive there was quite long and a bit noisy all ready since Kana and Mia were already popping open a beer and shouting with giggles following after. Teasing each other about all sorts of stupid things you didn't care to hear about that's why you felt glad you had brought your mp3 player so you could listen to music instead of listening them be loud the whole drive. They didn't get drunk but man they were acting as if they already were. After a hour long drive you all arrive at this beautiful spot with a lake that glistened in the sun light, nice tall trees with big green leaves, beautiful plants that laid about the whole place, birds chirping, the nice breeze with the fresh air. Everything was beautiful there and felt so relaxing and peaceful you couldn't help but feel glad you had came along with them, though being a bit ignored still wasn't the best and was highly annoying. You all stepped out of the vehicles, grabbing all the bags, chairs, and tents. The guys started setting up the tents while you and the other two girls just sat up against Rens van watching. "hey Kenji come over here and help me set this up yeah?" Ren stated. While the guys set up everything they also couldn't help but keep screwing around like they always do while Kana and Mia sat there chatting with each other. "god tonight is gonna be so fun" Kana said to Mia as she agreed. You just sat there feeling a little unsure of that since you're already not having as much fun as they are, nor were you really even excited about this anyways, but at least the place was lovely and seemed quite relaxing. The boys finish setting up everything, even setting up a hammock for you since you are more of the relaxing type anyways which is why they brought it in the first place.

Kana grabs Mia by her arm and pulled her over to their bags, pulling out their swimsuits, stripping down without caring that everyone could see them changing before running and jumping into the lake with the guys following in after. Just sitting and watching as they all splash around in the water, you hear a sound of a twig snapping from behind a tree that was behind you. Turning to look you didn't see anyone or anything which made you start to feel a bit uneasy, having a gut feeling you were being watched by someone. "HEY Y/N COME ON IN! THE WATERS GREAT" Kana yells out to you making you jump a bit before turning back around to their direction, a small smile forming on your face as Mia gets pounced on by Kenji causing a chuckle to escape your throat. You get up and start getting in your bag to grab your swimsuit, you head over behind a tree to change, pulling off your top and bra when you caught a glimps of someone peering out from behind a tree before quickly disappearing behind it. Quickly throwing your shirt back on, you start screaming out for your friends who immediately rush out of the lake, running to your aid as fast as they could. "what?.. what happened? you okay?" Kenji said as you pointed over at the tree where you saw the person. "I saw someone over there, watching me" You stated, your voice full of panic. Kenji and Ren didn't waste any time and went over there cautiously in case someone was right there. As they approach they find no one "well if they were here, they ain't now" Ren said while walking back over with Kenji.

"who ever it was their gone now, so no worries alright. we will make sure nothing happens" Kenji reassured you while gently placing his hand on your shoulder. "just put on your swimsuit and let's not worry about it, we came here to have fun so lets do that" Ren followed up after Kana walked away with Mia back to the lake with Ren following behind them, smacking Kana on her ass while you couldn't help but feel shaken up. "hey you're safe y/n, alright. Me and ren won't let anything happen and if whoever that was comes back we will be ready to catch whoever it was" Kenji said giving you a pat on the shoulder before walking off leaving you alone to change. Looking back at the tree taking a deep breath with uneasiness weighing down on you as you let out a sigh before changing into your bathing suit and joining your friends.

Night falls and the moon was full shining brightly in the sky along with the stars that looked like tiny diamonds. The boys get a fire going as the girls grab the beers and snacks from Kenjis truck, taking a seat in the chairs around the warm fire that cracked and popped while everyone drinks. You couldn't help but keep glancing back at the tree where you saw the person a few hours ago, unable to take your mind off of whoever it was watching you undress yourself, wondering how much that person saw when Ren walks over and hands you a beer. "here have a drink Y/N." he says while taking a seat by you. You take the beer from him cracking it open taking a sip. It wasn't the best but whatever takes your mind off of what happened right?. Kana starts the truck up and gets the radio playing before coming back over and sitting on Ren's lap. "Now that's more like it" she says with a giggle while Mia and Kenji are busy making out with each other, running their hands over each others bodies, feeling turned on while being a bit drunk. "I think Mia and I are gonna go and have some real fun" Kenji smirks before getting up and heading into the woods with Mia. "ohhh i think me and Ren might do the same. what do you say babe?" Ren smirks at what Kana had said before picking her up and going to their tent leaving you by yourself next to the bon fire.

You look up at the stars wishing you had someone as well but here you are, all alone again while your friends are busy making love to each other. Standing up, you head over to the hammock with your mp3 and lay on it, putting in your headphones to listen to music gazing up at the lit up sky. The moon was full and so beautiful, so pretty surrounded by the stars and dark clouds drawing in a peaceful night with the slight breeze in the air, while your favorite song played through your headphones. Closing your eyes, setting into the relaxation of the night feeling at peace for the moment, just laying back worrying about nothing. The moment lasted for a good few minutes until you could hear the sound of Kenji screaming over the music, making your eyes shoot open in concern. Sitting up, you rip out your earphones as Ren and Kana come rushing out of their tent after hearing Kenji's scream as well. Kenji came running through the camp looking back over his shoulder, covered in Mia's blood. Your heart instantly sank into your stomach while getting up out of the hammock.

"what the hell happened!?" you shouted at him as panic takes hold. Walking over to him only to be stopped in your tracks when a man sized beast pounced on him at full speed, sinking it's teeth deep into his throat, blood spilling onto the ground as Kana screams seeing Kenji getting his throat ripped out. Your eyes widen at the horrific sight falling backwards onto the ground not believing what your seeing right now. It's fur was black with slight green highlights through it, a black wavy spot that decorated its snout, it's eyes a bright orangish color, as it's body was beyond thin like it hadn't eaten in months. The beast stands up being about 6'7 in height as it looks over at you, your heart pounding in your chest as it lets out a deep growl before Ren catches its attention drawing it away from you as tears formed in your eyes from the amount of fear you felt pulsing through your body. Ren gets in front of Kana as it growls more watching Ren with blood lust as he picks up a small thick branch off the ground to use as self defense against it only to be charged at, at a fast speed he couldn't react in time. You watch helplessly as Ren gets knocked into a tree that was closest to him so hard you could here his body make impact with the tree, his ribs shattered and his skull busted open from the brute force. Kana screams out as it takes her down with such force, screaming as it claws puncture her soft flesh, shredding it like paper, tearing through, ripping into her stomach and pulling her intestines out, feeding on her right in front of you. Watching as your friends are slaughtered in cold blood by this monster with tears running down your face, covering your ears to drown out Kanas screams, squeezing your eyes shut, feeling to scared to move from your spot as your body was trembling and your breathing grew heavy.

Everything just happened so fast that nobody could do anything to save themselves, just dying like helpless animals. Slowly you start opening your eyes, looking up to see it staring you down while growling as it stepped towards you. "please... please no" You begin to beg though you knew it wouldn't do anything to stop this thing from killing you. It gets closer but it's growling soon faded into a slight whine while lowering it's ears before turning away and running off into the woods, leaving you alone with your dead friends as confusion started to set in as you watched it run away only leaving you alive. You sat there crying before screaming out at the top of your lungs as everything sets in again. All that you witnessed flashing through your head on repeat as you screamed, cried, and felt helpless. You had cried for hours until the sun started to rise in the sky, shining down upon the gruesome scene before you. The smell of death starting to linger in the air as the flies started to swarm around the bodies that laid around. The feeling of tiredness creeping into your system as you laid there on the ground feeling a bit traumatized, scared out of your mind. Though you were tired you couldn't sleep, not after what happened drowning your head with questions you couldn't help but want answers too, as you felt the urge to go find that thing and kill it like it killed your friends.

Minutes passed by and you finally found the strength to get up and start packing a bag with waters, snacks, and a blanket ready to head out and hunt that thing down. Once you were ready you start walking into the woods, taking a quick glance back at their bodies one last time, watching the bugs crawl on their flesh before turning away and continuing your walk, keeping an eye on all your surroundings, not trusting a single noise that is heard. On your walk you stop to collect the biggest sticks you can find, collecting them to use as markers so you can find your way back to the camp so you didn't end up getting yourself lost, digging each one into the dirt in a upright position while being cautious of each noise that is heard close by. The walk was long and quite exhausting especially since you hadn't slept yet and the sun was starting to set in the sky. As you stop to place down another marker you spot a small cave in the distance which would make a good resting place for now, where you can stay and sleep for the night since it was getting dark and you wouldn't be able to find your way back to the camp before it got to dark and you were also deep in the woods with no flashlight.

As you get closer to the cave you could make out a figure of someone sitting near the entrance, making you pick up your speed a bit, now running to see who it was and hoping they can help you out somehow. "HEY" You shout to them, but as the person looks up towards you they quickly get up and start backing away as you get to the entrance, stopping for a moment feeling out of breath from running, dropping your bag in the process. The cave was damp and very cold inside but now you can fully see the man clearly who looked at you a bit unpleased by your presence, his body language showing hostility, ready to attack at any moment. "whoa hey please. I'm not here to cause trouble" You say while putting your hands up as you slowly approach him, making him get more defensive until he started screaming at you. "GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME". his scream made your blood run cold as it was a bit raspy and just unsettling. His face was scrunched a bit out of anger due to you not backing off, but as you got closer you get a really good look at the man as the sun lowers shining inside the dark cave. His hair was black and green, black splotches on his skin, thin waist. Then it hit you, The werewolf you saw had the same black spot over its nose as this man, the hair color was the color of the wolfs fur, the thinness on the wolf, and how thin this man was. Your heart dropped into your stomach as anger fully took over you, making you lash out at him, the feeling of wanting to kill him for what he did fully took hold. "you...you killed them... YOU FUCKING KILLED THEM YOU MONSTER!!!" out of anger and hurt you rush at him without even thinking.

You just wanted to kill him and that's all that mattered to you right now, just putting an end to this foul being, but as you rush at him and try to hit him, he gritted his teeth letting out a low growl in frustration before grabbing hold of your wrist tightly and slamming you onto the ground and getting over you, pinning you down quickly. He was hoping you'd just leave since he really didn't want to hurt you but now you gave him a reason to. Staring down at you with his face still scrunched like he was ready to tear you to shreds, eyes widening as you laid underneath him in his tight grasp that was a bit painful. "wait.. please" You muttered but he didn't seem to lighten up at all, he was pissed that you would make such a dumb decision to rush at him. "I'm sorry... please" Tears started to fill your eyes and his face turned from anger to sadness as he sighed, sensing your hurt and fear before letting go of your hands and moving away from you, sitting himself up against the damp wall of the cave. You start to get up slowly, starting to approach him again when he lets out a low growl warning you to stay away from him. "why... why did you kill them?" He ignores your question as he continues to growl giving off a strong warning to keep your distance, but every part of you wanted answers. "ANSWER ME GOD DAMN IT!.. WHY DID YOU KILL THEM!" As you yelled at him he growled more and turned towards you, quickly getting up and getting directly in your face making you go quiet instantly, now feeling intimidated by him.

"why?... please, just tell me why you killed them but not me" Your body was shaking from the amount of fear you were feeling, knowing that he could kill you at any moment, your voice breaking as you spoke to him. "WHY!?... CAUSE I CAN'T CONTROL IT" he snapped while still having you cornered up against the cold hard cave wall, his gaze starting to soften like he regrets what he had done, as he pulls himself away from you, knowing he's scaring you. "you need to leave... and don't come back" he follows up as the sun disappears from the sky allowing the moon to appear as the wind picks up making the temperature in the cave drop down to freezing. You felt so on edge now but yet you couldn't leave, instead you grabbed your bag and sat down causing him to glare at you even more until you speak up. "I can't, not till morning. I don't have a light with me" You felt pretty stupid not grabbing a flashlight when you packed up the duffle bag, you also didn't expect to find the monster that killed your friends either, yet here you are stuck in a cave with him, a man that turns into a wolf every full moon and luckily for you last night was the last full moon for awhile. "how stupid" he spat out before sitting down as you go through your bag, pulling out your blanket, a water, and a snack. He took notice that you had a snacks with you, The smell of the food filling his nose as you opened up the package making his stomach growl. He couldn't help but move in, slowly coming towards you before grabbing your food from your hands, sinking his teeth into the brownie. "HEY" you shouted while trying to take it back from him only resulting in him growling causing you to back off, having no choice but to just let him have it. "you can have it i suppose" You sighed while sitting back down, wrapping yourself in your blanket for warmth. "what's your name by the way?" You ask trying to start conversation with this man dog that your stuck with till morning.

He looks over at then at the ground. "Gyutaro.... my names Gyutaro. and yours?" His names gyutaro? you thought while debating giving him your name but it's only fair since you asked for his. "Y/N." you respond with a yawn, laying down on the hard ground, still shivering a bit from the freezing breeze that blew into the cave. Gyutaro noticed you were cold and slowly made his way over to you after finishing off the brownie that he took from you. "You look cold" He said while looking down at you with his head tilted to the side a bit. "uh.. y-yeah" you stuttered a bit closing your eyes trying to just sleep off the cold night. "I can keep you warm if you want" His words had struck you, sinking in catching you by surprise, your eyes opening wide, looking up at him, feeling unsure if you really want him next to you, especially after what he had done the other night but with how cold it was tonight, it didn't seem like a bad idea at all. "uh... I... ugh, yeah... you can". Once you gave him the okay he made his way behind you, getting under the blanket and wrapping his arms around you, giving you the feel of his warmth, his heart pounding in his chest while you couldn't believe you letting him lay with you, but his skin was so warm against yours. Slowly closing your eyes ready to sleep for the night since you had a long walk back.

Morning comes as the sun starts to rise, shining into the cave down onto your face disturbing your peaceful sleep, pulling the blanket over your face to block out the sunlight only to be interrupted by the sound of plastic wrappers being stepped on. Sitting up, you look over to find Gyutaro rummaging through your bag, looking for more food after he had left a bunch of wrappers laying on the ground with empty water bottles. He was really hoping you had more but he did eat and drink everything you had on you leaving you a bit frustrated with him. "GYUTARO WHAT THE HELL" you yell at him, making him get defensive for a moment before relaxing as he looks at you, starting to whine a little bit. "I was hungry" he admitted. He was pretty skinny so you could understand why he would take all your food, though you were pretty hungry and quite thirsty yourself, but you can grab some food on the way home you guess. Getting up and packing your stuff up into your bag ready to head out while Gyutaro watched with a depressed look on his face. "you know... i didn't really want you to leave". You stop and look over at him, seeing how he was looking at the ground, his expression showing sadness for once since you've been there. You end up getting an idea that was rather a pretty stupid one but you did kind of feel bad for him, all while wondering if taking him with you would actually be a good idea or not since every full moon would be a massive problem, and you'd have to find a way to keep him at bay so he doesn't go around killing people like he did the night before. "hey what if you come with me?" as you say that he perks up, looking at you with surprise that soon turns to a scowl real fast. "are you fucking stupid or something" he snarks at you. "come with you? so what you can lock me up in a god damn basement!" you sighed and shook your head. "no I won't do that to you gyutaro.. I promise" He was taken by surprise again as you promised you wouldn't chain him up if he went with you. "fine" he muttered under his breath feeling unsure if he can fully trust you or not, yet you seem so different and he just can't seem to shake off the fact he really liked you ever since he first saw you, though he wouldn't admit that to you. He also didn't want you to leave either, he wanted to stay with you, be next to you all the time. He eventually agrees to go with you, joining you on your walk back, constantly taking glances at you as his head is filled with worry. You couldn't help but glance back catching him looking down at you, he was taller then you which made you feel nervous about taking this strange man home with you, was it cause you were desperate to have someone who actually paid attention to you? who knows, you already agreed to let him go with you so there's no going back now.

As you both arrive to the camp you couldn't help but feel sick seeing your dead friends again when Gyutaro looks down at you feeling guilty for what he had done to them, he just couldn't control himself. It was hard on him and seeing how scared he had made you that night had hurt him pretty badly on a deep level. He looks away from you in absolute shame, taking in a deep breath "I'm sorry" he whispered, turning your attention back to him. "let's just go" You grab all your things tossing them into Ren's van, grabbing his keys and getting into the van with gyutaro, shutting the door before starting the vehicle. Gyutaro was pretty busy looking around at everything inside, being curious about all the stuff inside. A hour drive back, you pull into your drive way shutting off the engine and hopping out to unload your stuff as Gyutaro gets out, looking around feeling a bit uneasy with this new territory he's in right now. He is so used to staying in the cave and doing whatever he wants that this is just way to new to him, making him whine a bit wanting to go back to the woods when you walk up, placing your hand on his shoulder. "It's okay gyu" You reassure him as you walk up to the door unlocking it and pushing it open. Setting your stuff down in your room while gyutaro enters inside unsure of everything at the moment, cautiously looking around before curling up by the couch. Though he is human right now he still as the attitude of a man and dog combined together but you guess it does have to do with him being a werewolf.

A couple weeks pass by and he had gotten used to the place, though he did start taking meat from the fridge to eat it which was a bit annoying. Every time you catch him tearing into the package, it's always a fight for it, chasing him around the house trying to take the meat back. "AT LEAST LET ME COOK IT FIRST" you'd yell out while chasing him. "NO IT'S MINE!" he'd yell back with a slight growl. He isn't fully human so can kind of understand that he'd have a hunger for raw meat so it's understandable why he would keep taking the raw meat you buy from the store. As Thursday rolls around you start marking down important stuff on your calendar when you realize that tomorrow night is a full moon making you start to panic a bit. "aw shit" you muttered to yourself while looking over at Gyutaro who was sitting on the couch scratching his arm. You make your way over, sitting down by him as he looks at you sensing your nervousness. You were nervous about bringing this up to him since you did promise him you wouldn't do this but it's gonna have to be done. "hey Gyutaro... tomorrow is uh.. a full moon" you started as he continues looking at you, still sensing your nervousness that was radiating from your body. He starts to growl a bit, scrunching his nose "you're gonna chain me up aren't you.. even after you promised me you wouldn't" he says as he starts becoming defensive towards you. You didn't want to but at the same time you really can't take any risks right now, and if people see him they might try and kill him and you couldn't let that happen. "I can't let you kill more people, I have to, for my sake and others sake Gyutaro". He growls more but it dies down as he understands why you'll have to do it since he didn't want to hurt you of all people. He really couldn't careless about other people but you it's different, He loved you though he wasn't good at showing it, he did. "Fine. but only cause i don't want to hurt you" He growled in irritation leaning back against the couch. "I'm sorry gyu. I just can't take any..." He scrunches up his nose, showing his teeth to you before cutting you off. "YES I KNOW DAMN IT" he lashes out before taking a breath and looking at you. "I know". You sigh knowing he really isn't happy about this but it's for the best. "look once the full moon has passed I'll let you out okay. I'm not gonna keep you down there locked up".

As you state that to him, he calms down a lot and sighs. He knows you don't have bad intentions towards him except for when you two first met and you tried to kill him of course but even that was understandable cause he did slaughter your friends. "once the sun starts setting, that's when I'll lock you up okay". He growls again but understands though he still hates the fact he's going to be chained up for three whole nights.

[rindragon-from-twewy]

Context: Ok so as a mentally ill writer/artist with mild sleeping issues, I tend to have very complex dreams often with somewhat understandable plot lines. I just woke up from my first ever dream like this featuring raincode characters and I need to share my highlights cuz it's wack-

1: Kanai Ward had some sort of like... demon realm? You could go in to it and do things like black market trades with strange creatures who'd kill you if they figured out you're human. Unfortunately sometimes it was important to go there for investigations so Yakou would go instead since as a Kanai Ward resident, he had more experience with it. The other detectives, of course, would just go right in without a care anyways despite being told not to.

2: Halara is bad at art. Like they try to draw and it's all children's scribbles. They're very embarrassed by it cuz they really do put their best effort in to everything but art just isn't their thing.

3: On the contrary though, Desuhiko and Fubuki are great at drawing but both have pretty distinct styles. I unfortunately can't remember what they looked like so even though they're wrong, I'll quickly make something up; Fubuki draws like a renesaunce artist but doesn't realise how good she actually is and Desuhiko has a strange combination between punk collage work and that stereotypical french fashion design art style

4: At one point they all went to my local ice cream shop and fit in really well with the aesthetic cuz it's all glowy and purple- next time I'm there I wanna take pics of empty booths so I can draw them in now-

5: At one point everyone went looking for a container of some sort. I think it had something to do with Desuhiko's forte? Maybe he lost his bag? I'm not sure. Either way, they were in some kind of antique shop looking at wicker baskets and stuff until they suddenly found a section full of small wooden coffins and caskets. He tapped at one, saying that it wasn't the right kind of wood that was needed and then it got flipped over to reveal golden etched writing on the back of basically what's written on a tomb stone. This meant that all the coffins and caskets were obtained via graverobbing (somehow-)

I don't think any of this had any deeper meaning to it- I find that the only dreams I have that have meanings are ones set in my real life where things featuring characters and stuff is just to give me fic/fanart/headcanon inspo- :3

[ballcrusher74]

random little ramble but I tend to look at some of my older art here and there and holy fuck dude ? like . I feel like I've really gotten a better grasp on shapes and silhouettes. it's almost like back then I was just throwing in angles and shit for 'flare' but nowadays, I feel as if I've incorporated them better into my style . does this make sense

that + my colors. I love bright colors, that will never live me down and it's my whole thang kinda, but I feel as if I have more variety now instead of just blasting saturation to 100 . also CONTRAST . I have definitely gotten better with contrast on both full pieces and character designs thank jod 🗣🗣 Idk. I just think it's crazy seeing the improvement actually

big ass image but left is some old stuff, right is new . there's like a huge fucking difference (in my eyes at the very least) like back then I OBSESSIVELY used blue, red, and cyan a lot. Like. a lot. Also weirdly placed in pngs of items and other shit, sort of collage like I suppose ? It feels a little lazy, but it did kinda work in some pieces ?? Also GOD, that blue thing used to be my sona . It looked so fucking basic compared to now LOL

I still feel like my art is just a little cluttered still, but maybe in a good way ? Like, I kinda know what I'm doing now to make clutter = good .

sorry for the yappatron 9000 post I just kinda think about this a bit . I also just feel like rambling more here