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#and my stepdad had told me there's this really scary scene where he reveals his like. hollow face behind the mask/hood thing
elibeeline · 1 year
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Its 'i woke up too early and fell back asleep and had a crazy dream' day 🙃
#two dreams actually! i was still too tired after the first one#where i had moved into a block of flats? in which i had one of my managers share a kitchen with?#and in the magical world of dream land i had a drive thru window#and i dreamt i was working bc i do that too much and then an angry customer comes up and says something angrily#like he's stood in front of this car at the window and i get scared and turn for my mom (because the family all moved into this flat)#and when i do over to her thjs guy at the dining table (dont know who or why he was there) and he grabs my wrist and presses a knife to it#nothing happens injury wise because apparently im more worried about the guy at the window and i just shrug this guy off#and the dream ends when the guy at the window pulls out a gun and starts shooting but i wake up before anyone can get hurt :)#and the second dream! was about a scarecrow#i feel like its an actual movie bc that what the dream told me it was? like we were on the island where they shot the movie#and the scarecrow was still in the water#so we're on this boat ride (one of those touristy ones with a slide) and im hanging on for dear life bc wtf the scarecrow is in the water#and my stepdad had told me there's this really scary scene where he reveals his like. hollow face behind the mask/hood thing#and one fun detail that didn't end up being important is that he's meant to be scared of carved pumpkins?#like there's a border around the island keeping him in the water#and this is a fun detail because my brain only included it bc in between the dreams i checked my notifications#and someone was looking for a pokemon called a pumpkaboo for the next gym and it stuck in my brain bc idk what that was#so ah yes halloween pumpkins and scarecrows in February. thanks brain#but yeah after the boat ride the island floods and allows the scarecrow to come on land#(which was p smart kudos to u scary brain)#and we're all declared as missing bc idk we werent meant to leave the boat place or something when the flood came#and then brain finds all the action boring and skips straight to both my dad and stepdad bringing us back to the flat to mom#where i assume we probably live happily ever after but idk that flat was creepy and felt very unsafe#i do like that brain thought it was necessary to include it in both dreams rather than. yknow. the house we actually live in.#but if anyone wants to analyse those you're more than welcome too hehe ive always found that interesting
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Week #6: Buzzcut Season
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When I was fourteen, my best friend shaved his head. He went from having a full head of hair to having absolutely nothing- and he didn’t even care. “My stepdad messed up one part of my hair, so I told him to just shave it all off,” he explained to me while we were sitting on the bleachers one day. “Do you want to feel my head?”
I told him no, I don’t want to feel your scalp, thanks. Truthfully, I was a little disappointed he shaved all his hair off- it was beautiful; sometimes it looked brown, sometimes it looked blonde. He seemed to be changing every day, so I can’t say I was surprised that he showed up like this, looking like a boy born out of the ashes. But he was my best friend, my favorite friend, so I defended that hideous buzz cut (and will continue to do so) until the grave.
Buzzcut Season will always remind me of him, of those times we spent sitting by the pool, of the times we spent trying to navigate our way through the world, together. We spent way too much time talking about haircuts. He was always getting into fights and I was never fighting enough- we were a balancing act on shaky ground.
Speaker: Lorde is the speaker of her song. Her personality is mellow, and very nostalgic.
Occasion: This song is about the memories Lorde has from her summertime with her friends. It talks about all the fun they’ve had, like hanging out at the pools or the ocean. This song draws from her experiences and memories- it is a nostalgic recollection of the fun times Lorde has lived through.
Audience: Lorde’s audience is her friends- she speaks directly to them and often refers to them as a “we” entity. She pretty much wrote this song for them- obviously they will be the ones to really understand what she’s talking about better than anybody else in the world. It’s also obviously very personal and pertaining to her friends specifically.
Purpose: Her purpose is to talk about how her and her friends stuck together, even in times of war and violence (“explosions on TV”). Even though the world is violent and, at times, scary, all of her friends are sticking together and she cherishes her time with them. These times are all distant memories (“I live in a hologram with you”) but she goes back to them for comfort in this world of tension. The memories Lorde has with her friends are still amazing to her- she’s saying that as long as she has her friends, everything will be okay. The purpose of this song is to basically express her love for her friends and show how they’re different from the rest of the world, continuing the idea of her group being outside looking in.
Analysis:
The first verse:
I remember when your head caught flame
It kissed your scalp and caressed your brain
(I remember when your head caught flame)
Well you laughed, baby, it's okay
It's buzzcut season anyway
(Well you laughed, baby, it's okay)
The fact that the first phrase in this song is “I remember when…” really shows how the purpose of this song is to be nostalgic, reminiscent of Lorde’s past memories. This clues us in to how the song isn’t in the present- the song takes places in the past. This first line establishes when the song takes place- in the memories of old summers.
The “heads catching flame” is a double entendre, having both literal and metaphorical meanings. Literally, Lorde is referring to how her friends would shave their heads during the summer (as revealed later when she drops the title- it’s buzzcut season anyways…). Their heads are “catching flame”- their hair is being removed. Metaphorically, the “flame” could represent her friends going crazy- they’re going crazy from the boredom of summer. Their heads are on fire- they keep losing their minds because of their ever-present boredom. Lorde mentions her friends and haircuts here:
“I have a lot of dude friends. I was kind of the camp mother of all the guys. I’ve been texting my friend because he hasn’t had a haircut without me in seven years so he just sends me the haircut emoji and I’m like, ‘OK, I’m going to take you.’ They’re amazing. I feel like teenage boys, all their emotions are really simple and diluted. Teenage girls feel everything so intensely and are so multi-faceted. Boys are just like, they’ll rest a head on your shoulder and you know exactly what that means.”
“It kissed your scalp and caressed your brain” utilizes personification- flames can’t actually kiss or caress anyone. The effect of this is that it makes the descriptions more vivid, and it allows the reader to relate to these actions by prescribing human characteristics to it. The “flame” seems more vivid, more active, because we are familiar with the verbs Lorde uses to describe it.
“Well you laughed baby it’s okay / its buzzcut season anyways” has very affectionate diction- baby, it’s okay. Her tone is very reassuring- it’s okay that you shaved your head, everyone else is doing it too. She tells her friends that they don’t have to feel bad about the fact that their “heads caught flame” because Lorde still loves them, Lorde still considers them her “babies”. The placement of the words (diction) “buzzcut season” is very interesting- these two words aren’t usually ever placed next to each other. This probably doesn’t have too deep of a meaning and has more to do with Lorde’s love of words. She has said, “I’m a big word fetishist, I’ll pick a word and I’ll pin an idea to that.” The juxtaposition of these two words is very cool- it implies that during a certain time of the year, everyone gets buzzcuts; these haircuts supposedly come in seasons. This goes back to the idea that this song is a figment of the past- a dream. The song takes place in the summer season, which just so happens to also be buzzcut season.
The pre-chorus:
Explosions on T.V
And all the girls with heads inside a dream
So now we live beside the pool
Where everything is good
The “explosions on TV” is symbolic for the violence that we are always shown through the media- either in movies or on the news. This violence is prevalent in the world, and teenagers are aware of this. However, we often find a way to ignore everything that is wrong in the world by hanging out with our friends “inside a dream.” The effect of using “explosions on TV” as symbolism is that it makes the song more abstract and a little random, but we know exactly what she is referring to.
“All the girls with heads inside a dream” juxtaposes to the boys in the beginning who are falling victim to this so called buzzcut season. She balances things out by mentioning her girls’ now- this time, they are all living in a dream. This adds to the overall purpose of the song- to create a dreamlike nostalgic world filled with fun and adventure. Obviously this is all metaphorical- the dreams represent their desire to escape the world of violence by pretending that they’re somewhere else.
“Living besides the pool” symbolizes how many rich people with wealth often boast about “life by the pool”- pools are often signify luxury. However, pools in Lorde’s case probably refers to public pools, like ones in high schools or parks. Lorde takes something that is usually reserved for the rich and applies it to her every day average life. The effect of this is that it juxtaposes how different their lives are from the life that is often glorified in Western media- one that consists of fame, glory and money. Saying that they “live” besides the pool is a hyperbole- obviously they don’t literally live at the pool together. Lorde is saying that they spent so much time at the pool, it’s like they practically lived there. They’re perfectly happy at public pools, where everything is good.
The diction of “Where everything is good” is so ridiculously simple, yet effective. She’s just saying that they feel happy at the pool- everything is fine, everyone is happy. Nobody is thinking about the explosions on TV or the violence of the outside world. Everything is just good; not great, not terrible. Lorde implies that the pool is where her and her friends are able to find happiness and peace- being at the pool is where they can escape their problems. The simple diction makes this point very clear- we don’t need to guess how she feels. It also shows the thought process of Lorde- these memories from her past are reminiscent of a simpler, easier time.
The second verse:
We ride the bus with the knees pulled in
People should see how we're living
(We ride the bus with the knees pulled in)
Shut my eyes to the song that plays
Sometimes this has a hot, sweet taste
(Shut my eyes to the song that plays)
“We ride the bus with our knees pulled in / people should see how we’re living” reinforces the idea that her and her friends aren’t wealthy- after all, they have to take the bus everywhere they go. This is an ongoing theme throughout the song and the album- not having a lot of money but still living a good life. There is a sharp juxtaposition between “we” and other “people”- these “people” are probably those who live in immense wealth who will never understand what it’s like to grow up the way Lorde had to. This really emphasizes how Lorde and her friends feel like they’re on the outside looking in. There is a clear separation between “we” and “people”. This is a very much “us against them” situation- a sentiment expressed in other songs like Royals or Team. This is another contradiction- she claims that they don’t care about the outside world, but she still wants the attention and acknowledgment from other people.
“Sometimes this has a hot, sweet taste” uses sensory adjectives- hot, sweet. The effect of this is that it makes the scene vivid- we know how things taste when they’re sweet, we know how things feel when they’re hot. We can apply our previous knowledge of these senses to what she’s saying here. Lorde often uses very vague antecedents, as she does here. We have no idea what “this” really is- is she referring to the “songs that play” or something else entirely? She intentionally leaves this a mystery. The effect of this is that it makes the lyrics very abstract and random, making it harder for the listener to really decipher what she means. One moment she’s being simple and to the point (“Where everything is good”) and the next moment she’s being vague, running circles around the listener.
The entire verse has a very relaxed tone- there isn’t a lot of hard emotion put into it. She isn’t sad (though it’s definitely melancholic) and she isn’t angry at anyone in particular- she’s just content. She says that people should see how they’re living- but they probably won’t, and that’s okay. So she shuts her eyes and moves freely to the music- sometimes this has a hot sweet taste. Not always. Sometimes.
The second pre-chorus:
The men up on the news
They try to tell us all that we will lose
But it's so easy in this blue
Where everything is good
“The men up on the news” is symbolic for the media once more- this time, Lorde takes a slightly different approach. Notice how she specifically calls out the men on the news- not women, not anyone else. This is a dig at our misogynistic society where men try to tell women what to do, and men often criticize teenage girls for succeeding on their own accords (Yup. This happens.) The men on the news could also symbolize the way the older generation looks down upon teenagers and the younger generation. Think about it- most old politicians label millennials as lazy due to technology and social media- Lorde is making a point about how these old men don’t expect the younger generation to succeed because we are viewed as inadequate.
“But it’s so easy in this blue” is a functional shift- blue is an adjective, not a noun. However, Lorde uses “blue” like a noun. You can’t be inside the generic color blue; you can only be inside something that is blue, like the ocean. The effect of this is that it makes the setting of the song very vivid- we know that she’s around water, and that she loves being around water. Water itself has this very calming feeling, adding to the overall mellow tone of the song. This functional shift tells us a general location of where the song is taking place, and emphasizes how fondly she feels towards water locations.
Lorde talks about her love of water here:
I’m surrounded by the beach, so I love to fish and to dive and to swim. I walk a lot, and I bike around. I hang out at the beach, really, and muck around.
The chorus:
And I'll never go home again (place the call, feel it start)
Favorite friend (and nothing's wrong when nothing's true)
I live in a hologram with you
We're all the things that we do for fun (and I'll breathe, and it goes)
Play along (make-believe it's hyper real)
But I live in a hologram with you
This is where the song gets more abstract, and the interpretations start to vary. “And I’ll never go home again” to me, sounds like she’s saying that she doesn’t want her fun times with her friends to be over- going home means that the day is done. She doesn’t ever want to go home- she wants to stay out with her friends as long as she possibly can.
“Place the call feel it start” is very similar to the intro of Team: “Look upon your greatness and she’ll send the call out.” The “call” again, is metaphorical- it represents how Lorde is announcing to the world who they are. Her “call” is her desire to have attention and recognition for her friends, to have the world know that they exist and to stop treating them like they’re invisible because they don’t have money. The “call” could also be word spreading around town about Lorde’s fame- she tweets stuff like: “remember our city is small the whispers always reach me”. Word is spreading about her fame- she can “feel” the pressure starting to rise around her. This is why she doesn’t want to go home- she wants to avoid all the drama and stay with her friends.
“Favorite friend” is interesting diction- again, very simple. It’s sort of alliteration- both words starts with Fs. She’s literally just saying that this friend of hers is her favorite person to be around. It feels very intimate and personal- not best friend, but favorite friend. Her tone is subtly affectionate, perfectly portraying the love a friendship carries. You’re my favorite friend- and I love you for that.
“Nothing’s wrong when nothing’s true” sounds a bit like an idiom, mostly because of the syntax. She uses the word “nothing” twice, and follows it up with two different words. It’s a bit of a cause and effect- nothing is wrong because nothing is true. What she’s saying is that her and her friends are ignoring the reality of the world (violence; “explosions on TV”) and because they are focusing on the false pretenses of their lives, they don’t worry about anything. Nothing’s wrong- after all, all that violence just isn’t true. Again, Lorde’s purpose is to express her love for her friends, despite a world of violence and fear. She “plays along” with this “fake reality” because it makes her friends happy.
“I live in a hologram with you” is obviously metaphorical- the hologram symbolizes the dream-like world where nothing is wrong and everyone ignores the problems both in the world and in their lives. They’re living in a “hologram”- it’s not real. This also implies that this song is reminiscent- it’s dreamy, because it’s about memories. She lives in this hologram with her “favorite friend”- here, they have a lot of fun because they don’t care about the rest of the world. Lorde knows this isn’t reasonable, but she indulges in it anyways.
“We’re all the things that we do for fun” is a metaphor- they can’t literally “be” all the things they do for fun. She’s saying that the stupid things they do define who they are; they make up their personalities. Their actions are representative of who they are as people. The things they do for fun are crazy and irresponsible and reckless- but all of these activities make them who they are. Lorde doesn’t regret any of these things as these activities have built their characters. As a group, these activities cohesively built their lives and they’re proud of their backgrounds.
“And I’ll breath and it goes” utilizes polysyndeton with the repeated use of the conjunction “and.” The effect of this is that these phrases are stacked on top of each other- it emphasizes how quickly time is passing for Lorde. She breathes and suddenly it’s all gone- using multiple “and” conjunctions removes any commas or pauses that may have been placed there otherwise. The effect of this is that it is even monotonous, almost careless. The polysyndeton really shows how many things are happening once in Lorde’s life. Everything is moving so fast that even her breaths seem to span a lifetime- and it goes.
“Play along (make-believe it's hyper real)” has very specific diction- the whole phrase itself is just encouraging her friends to live in her pretend teenage fantasy world. This theme is explored in a lot of her other songs, like Team, Royals and White Teeth Teens. “Play along” “make believe” and “hyper real” are all words that take the listener to a whole other place. These phrases have a “fake” connotation- they’re all related to things not being real and just being pretend. The phrases are also a bit childish in nature- little children are often the ones being encouraged to “play make believe.” This really enforces the idea that Lorde is thinking about a time in her past, back when they acted like children and “pretended” that everything was fine, like there was no violence in the world. They were living in their hologram- everything was hyper real.
To finish, this is the bridge that reminds me of some sort of pizza shop somewhere (I seriously don’t know why):                
Cola with the burnt-out taste
I'm the one you tell your fears to
There'll never be enough of us
Lorde uses sensory adjectives again when describing the cola her and her friends are drinking- it has a “burnt-out taste”. The effect of this is that it makes the taste of the cola very vivid. We can practically taste this cola when she describes it in this way. Her use of sensory adjectives makes the world around her very clear- it allows us to feel like we are right there with her. It also allows us to associate a specific taste to the adventures she is describing, which effectively sets the mood for the song.
“I’m the one you tell your fears to / there’ll never be enough of us” has very affectionate diction, as well as pronouns that are specific and intimate. She speaks directly to her friend here, often using the pronoun “you.” The effect of this is that it makes this line feel very, very personal and private. We feel as if we are listening in on a conversation, but not actually invited into it. She uses the pronoun “us” in the final line, which creates a unifying effect. She isn’t excluding anyone- there’ll never be enough of us. This is humble on Lorde’s part. She’s paying homage to her friends- it doesn’t matter how much time they spend together- it’ll never be enough. This is very similar to her other song, Ribs. The fact that Lorde is the one that everyone goes to to discuss their fears and problems shows how close she is with her friends, and also supports the purpose of the song- to send her friends a love letter in song form. This last song has a tone of both sadness and comfort- you tell me your fears. We’ll never have enough time.
My friend told me he was joining the Air Force after graduation- leaving only a couple of months from now. So obviously I listened to this song and cried. I live in a hologram with you.
Lyrics
[Verse 1] I remember when your head caught flame It kissed your scalp and caressed your brain (I remember when your head caught flame) Well you laughed, baby, it's okay It's buzzcut season anyway (Well you laughed, baby, it's okay) [Pre-Chorus 1] Explosions on T.V And all the girls with heads inside a dream So now we live beside the pool Where everything is good [Verse 2] We ride the bus with the knees pulled in People should see how we're living (We ride the bus with the knees pulled in) Shut my eyes to the song that plays Sometimes this has a hot, sweet taste (Shut my eyes to the song that plays) [Pre-Chorus 2] The men up on the news They try to tell us all that we will lose But it's so easy in this blue Where everything is good [Chorus] And I'll never go home again (place the call, feel it start) Favourite friend (and nothing's wrong when nothing's true) I live in a hologram with you We're all the things that we do for fun (and I'll breathe, and it goes) Play along (make-believe it's hyper real) But I live in a hologram with you [Bridge] Cola with the burnt-out taste I'm the one you tell your fears to There'll never be enough of us [Pre-Chorus 1] Explosions on TV And all the girls with heads inside a dream So now we live beside the pool Where everything is good [Chorus] And I'll never go home again (place the call, feel it start) Favourite friend (and nothing's wrong when nothing's true) I live in a hologram with you We're all the things that we do for fun (and I'll breathe, and it goes) Play along (make-believe it's hyper real) But I live in a hologram with you
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