#and next week is Easter week (which I asked for days off) and we have only two working days

[spacebell]

so either I am very chill (with some things) or I let people walk all over me

[slasherbvnnie]

Until We Found You

Hello! This is my first time ever posting onto here, so please excuse any mistakes or any tags that may be missing. I wanted to write about a poly!ghostface au and age up all the characters and place them into college. I hope this gets at least a few reads!

Part II Part III Part IV Part V Part VI Part VII Part VIII Part IX

Context: Modern Day College Scream AU, Obsessed AFAB!Reader, Eventual Poly!Ghostface x reader, Eventual NSFW, All characters 18+

You bit down on the tip of your pencil, chewing the metal part of it as you spaced out for the hundredth time today. A few days ago news broke of one of your best friends being killed, Casey Becker, and like every day since that fateful night, news reporters were swarming the campus. Woodsboro University was famous overnight for it, a crazed killer on the loose in the town and no one knew why Casey and her boyfriend Steve were the victims. What made it truly unnerving was that no one knew if they were going to be the only ones.

It didn’t make you scared, not really at least, you were more intrigued than worried if you were going to be the next person to get a mysterious phone call. No, you spent the next morning with Randy and learned all about what happened. How Steve was found bound to the chair, duct tape and blood practically branded onto him, and how the Beckers found Casey. She was one of your best friends, you couldn’t deny you felt like you needed some therapy for not crying for more than maybe an hour over her, but something in you was more interested in who did it.

That was what was on your mind for the hundredth time today, any of Casey’s boyfriends all the way to fucking pre-k could be a suspect, maybe her family, or maybe it was some random stranger who decided to take their anger out on an unsuspecting teenage girl. Randy and you talked all first period about your suspicions on who it could be, even accusing each other of being the killer, it did fit after all, the two horror buffs who knew every goddamn easter egg in every horror movie there was, it seemed perfect.

“Sidney, can you please tell your friend the answer to at least make it seem like she was listening?” Ms. Crane asked, Sidney nudging you and whispering the answer as the class laughed. “ah, um, phosphorus gas.” You answered, looking at Sidney with wide eyes after you answered. “Phosphine, but I will take that. You guys can pack up, let me take role before you all leave.” Ms. Crane said with a sigh.

“What’s up with you? Are you totally sure you don’t want to go to the grief counselor after school? I mean even Tate went-“ “Sid, I’m fine, seriously. I just, it’s freaky is all. I mean not knowing who did it? What if they have a thing for college chicks, I think we fit into that category very well and-“ “And we will be fine, it was probably just a one-time thing…I mean it's more likely that it is, right?” Sidney asked as she packed her bag, putting a comforting hand on your shoulder. “Don’t sweat it, if you want you can stay at my place for the week, my dad’s on a trip and I would kinda enjoy the company,” she offered, smiling at you reassuringly. You gave a nod, “yeah, let me just at least spend tonight at my place, my mom will kill me if I miss dinner tonight and take off for a week out of the blue.” “Are you sure you’re really 19 and not 9?” Sidney asked jokingly, earning a laugh from you.

After dinner you had taken a shower, your parents had gone out for the night to take a late-night date- which you theorized was them renting a motel to not risk traumatizing you. You brushed out your hair as you sat down on your vanity chair, putting it into a braid before you went to bed. Your cat was sitting peacefully on your bed, moving every now and then to change her position before darting out of your room. “Irena!” You called after her, scoffing when she didn’t come back to the room. You put your hairbrush down onto your vanity, taking a look in the mirror before getting up from your seat. “I hope you don’t think you are eating even more food, missy, you got fed so much while I was at class today,” you said, acting as if Irena could really understand you. You made your way to your door, nearly walking out before noticing a paper had fallen onto the ground near your desk. You picked it up, reading the headline, Casey Becker and Steve Orth- funerals to be held on Friday the 27th at 9-11 AM. You sighed and set it down on the other papers stacked on your desk.

You walked out of your room, heading downstairs “Irena! Come on, I wanna go to bed,” you whined out, calling the cat to your room. You found her in the living room, hiding under the couch and refusing to come to you. “Fine, I’ll leave you a blanket out and don’t you dare come scratching at my door at 3 AM,” you told her, going to the hallway closet to get a blanket out for her. Once you had gotten one, you spread it out across the couch for her and said goodnight.

You were about halfway to your room when your phone began to buzz, digging it out of your pocket and seeing your mom's number you quickly answered. “Hey, what's up? You guys heading back already,” You asked, continuing up to your room.

“Heading back? Who said I ever left?” A strange voice asked on the other line, making you pause for a moment as you moved to make sure it was your mom. “Listen asshole, I don’t have more than 15 dollars in my bank account so have fun with whatever hot cheetos and mountain dew you can get with that,” you said before hanging up on them, putting your phone back into your pocket. You were up the stairs now, deciding to use the bathroom before you went to bed for the night but before you could open the door your phone rang again. “Didn’t I already say I don’t have money? What the fuck do you want?” You asked angrily, “Irena, right? Like Irena Dubrovna? Who did you prefer, Simone or Natassja?” The same voice asked you, making you look down the stairs. Irena hadn’t moved yet and no one was around her, or at least from what you could see. “If you hurt my fucking cat I will personally cut off your balls and feed them to he-“ A laugh from the caller cut you off, “I don’t have fun with animals. I’m not Bundy or Dahmer, I like to see my victims, human victims…struggle.” You heard your parent's bedroom door open, letting out a scream before running into your room and slamming the door shut, locking it quickly before the person began to bang on it. You looked around, going to your window and trying to lift it open.

The door cracked, it was like the scene from the shining, except this killer bore a white mask, you recognized it from the Halloween store- father death. You struggled with the window again, before giving up and grabbing the lamp from your bedside table and throwing it at them. The killer moved out of the way before they were hit, pushing their body against the door once more and climbing in through the opening. You could see them fiddle with their knife as if they had held it in their hands a hundred times already and were skilled at fidgeting with it.

You grabbed a glass organizer from your desk, taking the scissors from it before chucking the holder at them. The papers you had stacked before scattered from the throw as they fell down. You rushed to the window as they struggled to get up but never heard them stand. When your head whipped around to check if they were behind you, you instead saw them looking at the papers around them.

Masked killer, Casey and Steve headlines, Maureen Prescott, Cotton Weary trials, even the cutouts you had of Sidney from court. You were obsessed. There were drawings, suspects lists, hell all these needed were red kiss marks and ‘please fuck me mr ghostface!’ written in pink glitter pen ink.

You stared wide-eyed at them when you saw their gaze now on you, their head cocked to the side as a laugh sounded from behind the mask. Just then you heard the sound of gravel being crushed around from the driveway, your parent's car was pulling in, you saw them getting out from your window. When you turned back you noticed the person was gone, you ran downstairs and met your parents at the door, crying and beginning to blubber on about what nearly happened. 

[cvpiddszn]

𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐤 | 𝐣.𝐡𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐞𝐬

a/n: sorry for the lack of content. happy to be back posting my favourite couple

summary: having to explain how babies are made to two five year olds isn't easy.

warnings: children

word count: 1.2k

birdie & jack masterlist

Seven months later

"Mommy?" Little Lake was munching on his Cheerios, his eyes trained on me, a full-on question. I nearly brushed my hand through his brown hair, it was well overdue that we needed a haircut (Jack included). Lake’s hair was beginning to curl at the ends, while Lowen’s had taken longer considering the gum that he had gotten stuck in his hair a couple of months before. 

Switching Amara on my other hip as she held her apple sauce drink in her hands squeezing at the package in hopes that she would be able to suck out anything else. “Yes, baby?” I asked, pulling the drink from the little blonde’s hands to which she whined, I shook my head at her and she made grabby hands towards her father.

Jack only smiled at the girl, taking her from my arms before setting her on his lap so that he could finish eating his toast. He held it out to the little girl to which she nearly bit off his finger while eating it. I leaned down kissing the little girl’s cheek whispering a soft, “good girl” watching as Jack gave me a glare.

Jack was sipping at his apple juice, since he loved it so much, claiming that it was better than orange juice (yes, I argued with him multiple times that orange juice was better). Amara watched her Dad and reached for her cup beginning to drink at it too.

“Where do babies come from?” Lake asked, his voice full of concern as his twin perked up at the question eager to also find out. 

Jack spit out his juice at the question, while I paused watching my husband and then the little girl in his arms follow exactly what her father did, spitting out her juice and then giggling but Jack was so stunned that he didn’t notice the spill on his leg. 

“Jack!” I scolded, tapping his shoulder rather harshly, face cloth in hand wiping at our daughter’s face where she decided that she needed to spit out her drink. I pulled her from his lap, to which her bottom lip came out, missing her father’s arms already. 

Jack coughed, trying to regain his breath. The boys looked toward their father who only sputtered, they looked at me next. Wide innocent eyes and I debated on what I should do, whether it was appropriate or not. We had promised that we wouldn’t lie to our boys but we had already played along with Santa, the Easter Bunny and many other mythical creatures, plus were they truly old enough to understand any of it yet?

Within their childhood, I had already had one kid, another one only four weeks old in my stomach. We had told the boys as quickly as Jack had found out, we knew that it was inevitable that the boys would find out, and they treated their little sister so well, what was one more? 

My husband looked toward me for guidance and I shrugged. “They’re boys, J. Mara and I will just understand each other won’t we, sweet girl?” I cooed at her to which she smiled at me at the newfound nickname. I knew that I would take my twelve months leave with the new baby, Amara wouldn’t be with the Nanny for too long if you counted eight more months. 

Amara grabbed onto my nose, squeezing softly, her small nails pressing into the skin and I shook my head at her. The three boys sat at the table, seemingly waiting for me to say something but it was only a couple of days ago that Jack had complained that he wanted more time with the boys, saying that they clung onto me way too much (which was very true). 

I sighed at the silence, my free hand placing itself on my husband’s shoulders. “You boys actually want to know?” I whispered loudly like it was some secret and even Jack gave a confused look eager to hear me out. The twins nodded eagerly, wide eyes and practically on the edge of their seats with how excited they looked knowing some secrets. “Truth is, there are such things as storks that come to drop off babies at hospitals. We sign a bunch of forms, they run some tests on the mommies to make sure that it’s her baby, and we get to go home with the baby.”

My husband raised his brow at me, looking towards the boys whose mouths made an ‘o’ shape as if it was the realization. “That makes a lot of sense, Annabelle was telling me that it had to do with ‘the birds and the bees’. I don’t know what she meant.” Lowen explained, to which Lake nodded along. The two got out of their seats walking towards their lunches to grab them and make their way into the car.

Jack also stood up from his spot, kissing my cheek and then Amara’s, “Nice save,” He commented, and I only grinned in response, tapping my lips gently so he could get the hint. He didn’t waste another second stealing a kiss from me, hoping to make it last but Amara pushed his face away. Pursing her own lips in an attempt. I laughed at the girl, adjusting her higher on my hip watching as my husband kissed the little girl on her lips as she smiled satisfied.

“Did you get a kiss from Daddy, sweet girl? Hm?” I asked her as she gurgled in response. Surprisingly she hadn’t said her first word but there were many bets placed between our families that her first word would be “Dada” or something along the lines but I knew that it was going to be something else. Call it mother’s instinct if you will. I looked towards Jack who had seemed to admire us, “You’re going to make the boys late, J. You’ll be back with your girl right after you drop off the boys.”

“My girls, you mean.” He corrected me and I gave him an adoring look before placing my hand on his back, nudging him forward hinting towards the time. He only nodded in response, kissing my cheek briefly before racing out the door.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

"Mrs, Laurier, we had an incident today.” Lake’s teacher, Miss. Calvin, walked up to me as the boys were ushered into the SUV beginning to talk amongst each other. We had thought that it was best that to separate the boys young, it gave them more to talk about in the car and sometimes twins created more chaos together rather than separately.

My brows raised, motioning her to continue as I closed the car door. “There was an argument that broke out between some kids, including Lake. Something about that storks were bringing his new sibling? Our Principal said that we don’t condone lying so we’re going to need you to tell your boy that he’s wrong.” She explained a nervous smile on her face that told me, she didn’t believe in anything she was saying. 

I barely even paused shrugging my shoulders, “Okay,” Was the only thing I said before walking to the other side of the vehicle. 

She waved at me, smiling, “See you tomorrow!”

“Yeah, we’ll see,” I mumbled pulling out of the pick-up area, biting the inside of my cheek. Holding me back from parking and storming into the Principal’s office and screaming at her. Who were teachers to tell parents how to parent their children? We certainly don’t tell them how to do their job.

There was no way I was going back to that place, and Jack would agree as he always did

[clarisse0o]

Camp Wiegman-Part 51

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe: Military School

Words: 5K

Masterlist

———————————————————————

Saturday, February 13; 09:00 AM - Hotel

Lying in the hotel bed, I enjoy the kisses and cuddles Lucy is giving me. We’ve been lounging in bed for a good half hour now. Neither of us has found the courage to get out.

“So, snowmobiling is on the agenda for today?” I ask her between kisses.

“Yeah. We’ll go up the mountain. There’s a little village. You’ll see, the scenery is amazing. You’re going to love it.”

“It’s already beautiful here. We’re surrounded by mountains.”

“It’s even more beautiful up there, trust me.”

I smile as she trails her fingers across my belly. It’s bare, the fabric she pulled up earlier exposing it. She wanted to check the state of my bruises. They’re not very pretty, but I’m glad they’re starting to fade. It was about time, especially since I’m not in as much pain anymore.

“We’ll have to get up,” I say.

“I know.”

Last night, after dinner, we arranged to meet at the restaurant at ten. We had just finished the debriefing where everyone shared what they wanted to do this week. Jenni volunteered to organize the activities since she had been here before. Nothing was planned in advance, but we promised to do as much as possible. Everyone preferred to plan day by day, which is better since we’ll never know in advance what state we’ll be in. That’s why we’re starting with a late wake-up, as requested by some who love to sleep in. The idea was agreed upon after Aitana suggested we have brunch and skip lunch. I groan as I feel Lucy getting out of bed. She smiles at me in a strange way.

“What’s up?”

“There’s something I’d really like to do this week.”

“What’s that?”

“The big bathtub in the bathroom has been calling to me since yesterday.”

Her suggestion intrigues me in an odd way. I’m afraid I know what she’s hinting at. The bathtub is indeed large and could easily fit both of us. There are even jets, like in jacuzzis, that we could probably turn on.

“Before you panic, it’s not about rushing things, but... I’d like us to do couple things this week, you know? This is probably the best time to deepen our intimate relationship. We might not have time to do the same on our next vacation before the big stress of your exams.”

I sigh and nod. I know exactly what she means. Next week will likely be devoted to my studies and my brother if my mom agrees to let him come. Lucy has agreed to host him if my mom gives the okay. Then classes will resume. I’ll have a break in April, but I doubt it’ll be very restful between Easter and preparing for my exam in May.

“Okay, why not,” I say nervously.

“We don’t have to be naked if the idea makes you uncomfortable,” Lucy adds. “We can wear our swimsuits.”

A smile forms on her lips as the pressure I was feeling suddenly dissipates. This way, the idea seems much more appealing. I’m glad I listened to her and brought my swimsuit after all. Maybe she had planned this bath from the start. If I’m honest with myself, it’s something I’ve always wanted to do with someone. My last shared baths were either in childhood or with Joan. While still intimate, it’s a different kind of experience.

“I’d really enjoy that.”

“Cool,” she says, excited. “We’ll do it after a tiring day.”

I giggle and nod. I have no doubt we’ll have plenty of those in the coming week. Nothing has been planned in advance, but in the snow, I don’t think activities will be lacking.

“We could also go to the hotel pool sometime,” I suggest. “You told me there was one, and it was nice.”

“We will, don’t worry,” she smiles. “Okay, I’m going to take a shower.”

She kisses me before locking herself in the bathroom. I groan as I hide under the covers. I’ve never had a life as perfect as this. It makes me realize that my happiness revolves entirely around Lucy. Without her, I’d be nothing. I owe her everything. I pull the covers off due to lack of air and decide to get up too. I quickly choose my clothes before she returns. I decided to borrow one of Lucy’s black sweatshirts. I hope she won’t mind. I also took a turtleneck to layer up since I’m still not used to the cold. For the bottom, I opted for jeans. Lucy comes out a few minutes later, wrapped only in a towel.

“I forgot my clothes,” she explains. “The bathroom’s all yours.”

“T-thanks...”

I hurry to escape the sight of her beautiful athletic body. Why couldn’t I inherit that from my dad? He was well-built too, considering his job. I shower quickly without washing my hair, then get ready. The sweatshirt fits me perfectly. It’s a bit loose, but I guess Lucy wears it that way. Good, because I don’t like tight clothes. I finish applying mascara and fix my hair to make it look decent.

“Looks like being late isn’t your thing anymore,” Lucy comments when I return.

“Apparently not,” I reply with a smile.

“Does my sweater suit you?” she asks, raising an eyebrow. “I’ve been looking for it everywhere. I thought I’d lost it because of you.”

“Oh... Sorry. Do you want it back? I can wear something else if you want.”

“It’s fine, Ona,” she giggles, placing her hands on my waist. “It’s actually nice seeing you in my clothes.”

She murmurs against my lips before kissing me tenderly. I practically melt under her touch. I deepen our kiss, which warms me up quickly. So quickly that I force myself to pull away a little too abruptly.

“Sorry...”

I feel uneasy. I’ve never stopped one of our kisses before. Of course, I’ve been hesitant about some of her advances, but never a kiss that was a bit too intense.

“Hey, you have nothing to be sorry about,” she says softly, caressing my cheek.

“You have too much of an effect on me,” I half-joke.

“Glad to hear it,” she chuckles. “It’s okay, alright?”

I bite my lip and nod. She’s so sweet to me. She smiles before kissing my forehead. I close my eyes, appreciating the contact. I hate that I’m so nervous about such simple things.

“Let’s go. We’re going to show Jenni that we can be the first ones downstairs.”

I laugh as I follow her to the door. It’s a little before ten when we arrive at the restaurant, holding hands. We’re indeed the first ones at the table from yesterday. We take our seats and wait for the others to arrive.

“The wake-up call must have been tough for some. Don’t you think?”

“Oh yeah,” I giggle.

I can already imagine what Mapi must have looked like upon waking up. She’s never been much of a morning person. Kind of like me, actually. I wasn’t before my new routine. I guess her friends must be the same if she’s asking me.

“Was your routine different before I arrived at school?” I ask curiously.

“A bit,” she admits. “I used to wake up at five-thirty and go to bed a little after ten.”

“Ouch. You’re crazy!”

“A little, I admit. I sleep more now, but I liked having peace for my runs,” she shrugs.

“Waking up at five-thirty definitely gives you that. Speaking of running... I’d like to start again. If you’re up for it, of course.”

A sly smile spreads across her lips. I bite my lip as I feel her hand on my thigh. She leans in slowly, as if trying to unsettle me, which she does perfectly. My cheeks flush.

“Is there a particular reason for this decision, Princess?”

“I don’t know... To spend time together...?”

My excuse is not at all convincing, and she knows it by the way she laughs.

- "You hate running. Be honest, please," she insisted with an even bigger smile.

- "You know why..."

- "I want to hear you say it."

- "You're really mean."

- "It's not mean," she giggled. "Come on, tell me."

- "Alright," I cleared my throat. "Maybe because I want to stay in shape? That's how you say it, right?"

She started laughing, making me feel even more uncomfortable. It's so embarrassing for me to talk to her about this. I want to get back into shape partly because of her, but also for myself. I’ve never felt completely comfortable in my own skin, and she seems amused by it.

- "You're perfect just the way you are, my love. You don’t need any ‘maintenance,’" she teased, miming air quotes. "And that’s your girlfriend talking."

I can't quite describe how I feel right now. She never uses pet names, and here she’s giving me a whole sentence’s worth. I must be as red as a tomato by now.

- "We’ll find other ways to spend time together. You have your activities, and I have mine. It’s like if I told you I wanted you to help me paint a picture."

- "That’s not the same," I chuckled.

- "Yes, it is. We’re both disasters in each other’s hobbies."

- "Alright… I get it," I mumbled.

- "You're beautiful, never doubt that. I’ll be here to remind you if you do."

I took a deep breath and nodded, then leaned in to kiss her. She’s so patient with me, it makes me want to open up even more. We picked up where we left off with our earlier kiss, and this time, I didn’t pull away. It felt like I was rediscovering her lips, her mouth, her tongue... Unfortunately, a throat-clearing interrupted us, forcing us to part reluctantly.

- "Well, things are heating up here!"

I didn’t need to look to know who it was—only my best friend would make such a comment. She sat down across from us, grinning widely. I raised an eyebrow just as Lucy draped her arm over my shoulders.

- "Here or in your bed last night?"

My girlfriend’s question wiped the smile right off her face, while Ingrid laughed beside her.

- "Is it that obvious?" Mapi asked.

I was initially taken aback by her response, but quickly started to laugh, realizing who I was talking to. My God, I can't believe it! They’ve been together for less time than us and already spent the night together. I’m not surprised by Mapi, though. When we were together, she was ready pretty quickly, unlike me. Despite her open-mindedness, she seemed embarrassed at being caught so easily by my girlfriend’s joke.

- "No, b-but—"

- "Stop. You’re not convincing anymore," Lucy laughed.

I joined in, seeing the pouty face she made. Meanwhile, Ingrid didn’t seem the least bit embarrassed by the conversation. She just smiled, patting my best friend’s shoulder as she crossed her arms.

- "Well, we’re consenting adults after all!" she replied, no longer trying to hide.

- "Now that you know how our night went, how was yours?" Ingrid asked us.

- "Not much different from any other night together," I replied.

- "We’re pretty patient," Lucy added with a hint of humor.

I bit my lip, glancing at her out of the corner of my eye. She seemed totally relaxed about the subject, unlike me. Yet, I enjoy every night I spend with Lucy, especially last night when we stayed up late watching a movie and cuddling. It was the first time we were free from obligations. We’re settling into habits, like how it’s usually Lucy who holds me in her arms. It happens the other way around sometimes, but it’s rarer. What troubles me is not knowing how long Lucy will be okay with this pace. I know she’ll never pressure me, but she might expect more in a few months, and I hope I’ll be ready for her by then. These thoughts occupied me as our table gradually filled up. Everyone seemed in a good mood, despite the fact that waking up must have been harder for some. Like me, the excitement of the day must be taking over. Our breakfast was cheerful, with Lucy’s friends welcoming Mapi, Alexia, and me as if we’d always been part of their group. I indulged in a real feast, starting with my usual hot chocolate and a pastry. Since we’re skipping lunch, I also had two slices of toast with jam and Nutella, and I couldn’t resist taking some fruit salad after seeing Lucy’s. My choices seemed meager compared to her balanced meal. I can see now how she maintains that dream body. Maybe I should reconsider my diet before thinking about exercising. During the meal, I learned that Ale had never really hung out with this group. Lucy was partly to blame, as she didn’t want to mix her private life with work. It’s ironic now that we’re together. Maybe our situation made her reconsider hers. In any case, I’m glad she’s here for this trip. Alexia has become a great friend, and I really like her. It was a little after ten-thirty when we decided to leave. No one was in a rush, which was good. After all, we’re on vacation.

- "Alright, let’s meet downstairs in ten minutes, okay?" Caroline asked.

- "Yeah. That’s enough time to gear up," Ingrid replied.

- "I made reservations for the snowmobiles," Jenni announced. "We’ll have to pick up the keys. I got five since there are ten of us. Does that work for everyone?"

No one had any objections. We’d be two per vehicle, which was fine by me. I wasn’t sure I knew how to drive one of those things, so I was glad to be with Lucy, who probably knew how it worked. We split up to head back to our rooms, agreeing to meet at the reception in an hour.

- "Did you put anything under your jeans?" she asked me when we got to our room.

- "No, why?"

- "I recommend wearing tights or leggings. It’s really cold outside. We’re in the negatives, so you’ll freeze if you stay like that."

I grumbled, but her advice was sound. I took off my jeans as she suggested and sat on the bed. I waited while Lucy rummaged through our closet. She finally handed me a pair of leggings and some joggers that were clearly wider than the jeans I’d chosen that morning.

- "Here, put these on too."

She handed me some snow boots. It seemed she knew how to gear up better than I did. She must have packed for both of us when she did her luggage. She sat next to me to put on hers.

- "Did you buy these just for me?" I asked, surprised.

- "No, they’re my old pair," she smiled. "They’ll do for this trip. I knew you wouldn’t think of this sort of thing. I didn’t either the first few times I encountered snow."

- "Oh... I thought you just assumed I was forgetful."

- "You *are* forgetful," she giggled. "But it’s adorable. I’ve always loved that about you."

- « That’s not really a good quality… »

«  Who said it had to be? Perfect people are boring. I had a girlfriend who thought she was perfect and knew everything. Believe me, every moment I spent with her was dull," she said, getting up. 

- I guess all that’s left is for me to distract you with my flaws.

- I guess so, she laughs, zipping up her jacket.

I put on mine and grab my gloves. I’d better not wear them yet; otherwise, I won’t be able to do anything.

- I feel like I’ve gained ten pounds with all these layers of clothes, I say, looking at myself.

- Trust me, you’ll be glad you’re dressed like that once we’re outside.

- No doubt about that.

I’ll be glad when we get there because I’m starting to feel warm with all these clothes. We tidy up the clothes lying around before heading back downstairs. Once again, we’re the first to arrive, but Jenni and Alexia quickly join us. Lucy leaves me to go with Jenni to the counter to get the keys. I smile at Alexia as she comes over to keep me company. She gives me a playful nudge.

- So, how’s it going with the Commander?

I smile, glancing over at Lucy, who’s talking to the young receptionist from yesterday. The poor guy looks super uncomfortable, and I can understand why. Lucy always has an impressive presence, no matter who she’s talking to. I nod to Ale and shift my gaze back to her.

- Yeah... More than well.

- If anyone had told me one day that the great Bronze would be dating a student, I’d have laughed out loud... But I’m happy for you; you deserve it. She seems like a good person, against all odds.

- She is. She helps me with a lot of things.

No one has ever understood me like she does, and never, ever, has anyone stood up to me the way she does. She opened my eyes, and now she’s the person who knows me best. I want to share all this with Ale, but I don’t say anything. Lucy is different from the others, and I intend to keep her to myself.

- Well, ladies, why the long faces?

Mapi comes between us, putting her arms around our shoulders.

- If anyone had told me I’d be here with you in a place and situation like this, I wouldn’t have believed it, she comments.

I guess everyone is thinking the same thing. I watch as Lucy walks over to us with a smile. She dangles some keys on her fingertips as she reaches me. I try to grab them, but she closes her hand around them.

- Not so fast, she smiles.

- Can I drive? I ask.

- Hmm... she pretends to think about it. No.

- Please!

I jump up to try and grab the keys, but Lucy laughs and keeps them out of my reach.

- Do you even know how to drive one of these things?

- Well... no. But it can’t be that hard...

- You think so? She raises an eyebrow.

- Teach me then, I pout. I heard you’re a good teacher.

- We’ll see, she laughs. Come on, get geared up so we can go outside.

I exaggerate my pout as I zip up my jacket. Now I’m completely bundled up. She pulls my cheeks to get one of my smiles before taking my hand. We follow an employee to a kind of shed next to the hotel. It’s filled with snowmobiles, but also sleds and a ton of other equipment. I didn’t realize snowmobiles were so big. I’m starting to doubt if I want to drive one. He gives us each a helmet. Lucy is the first to finish getting ready and then comes to my rescue, pushing my helmet down onto my head. She asks me to step outside so we don’t clutter up the shed. I listen and am quickly joined by my friends. I smile when the first snowmobile comes out and stops in front of me. I guess it’s Lucy. She surprises me by scooting back on the seat and patting the spot in front of her.

- Really?

- Hurry up before I change my mind.

I climb on in front, not without some trepidation. The urge to drive has returned. I can barely feel Lucy against my back because of all our layers of clothing.

- Ready to learn?

- Mm-hmm.

She shows me the throttle on the handlebar. As she explains, it doesn’t seem too complicated. At least, I get it quickly. It’s no surprise Lucy can drive one. It must be similar to a motorcycle.

- Got it?

- Yeah, yeah.

- Go ahead, try it. Move up to that tree over there, she says, pointing to the farthest one in front of us.

I nod and work the throttle. I pull it so fast that we’re both thrown backward. The fear of having done something wrong makes me let go of the handlebar. Luckily, Lucy catches it before we end up crashing, then slows the snowmobile down. I lean against her in embarrassment when I hear her laughing.

- Are you trying to kill us?

I hear the others laughing behind us as we come to a stop. She puts her hand on my waist, pulling me even closer to her, if that’s possible.

- Sorry, I mumble.

- It’s okay, baby. Put your hands on the handlebar; I’ll help you.

- I’m not sure this is a good idea after all...

I bite my lip, ready to really give up on driving. Our safety comes before a little moment of fun.

- It is, she says, placing her hand on my thigh. I’m here, don’t worry.

Her voice is calm and very reassuring. She has confidence in me. I close my eyes for a moment, letting out a sigh, then place my hands on the handlebar with the last bit of courage I have. Her hands immediately cover mine. If we didn’t have helmets on, I’m sure I’d feel her breath on me, given our proximity. She asks if I’m ready before gently pressing the throttle with our hands. The start is much smoother than before. She gradually removes her hand so I can take full control. I tense up a bit, but it quickly dissipates when she reminds me of her presence by holding onto my waist. She then asks me to stop just a bit before the tree she pointed out earlier. I take advantage of the stop to see Alexia going through the same learning process with her girlfriend, which makes me smile.

- Don’t get distracted. Turn around.

- OK, I grimace with apprehension.

I guess she wants me to get used to it. I turn right like Ale, while Jenni practices on the other side. This time, I manage to control the throttle correctly. I move forward to the shed where the guys are waiting for us. I wondered where Mapi was until I saw her farther away, practicing as well. Seeing us must have given them the idea. The employee who accompanied us closes the shed with a smile. The scene must be amusing for him. He walks over to talk to Lucy.

- The reservation is for the whole day, right? he asks.

- We booked until tonight, yes. We’ll probably be back by late afternoon.

- Okay. I recommend coming back before nightfall. It’s likely to snow again tonight.

- No problem. It’ll probably be around four. We need to check in at the reception, right?

- Exactly. Someone will come to open the shed before taking the keys.

- No problem.

- Have a good day.

- Thanks.

He finally heads back to the hotel, leaving us to gather with the others to discuss our plans. As expected, we’re going to cross the mountain to reach the village. According to Jenni, there’s an easy path specifically for snowmobiles. I was a bit hesitant, but Lucy reassured me, saying she’d take over if I didn't feel comfortable at any point. I don’t want to seem like a coward, so I’m hoping it’ll be fine. Alexia and Jenni are leading the way since they seem familiar with the route. We’re following right behind them. Honestly, I would have preferred to be further back, considering my lack of experience. I’m worried about slowing the group down, although I doubt Lucy would let that happen. At least I won’t get lost. Alexia is having a blast, zigzagging along the path. As for me, I’m just glad the road is as manageable as they said. For now, we’re not climbing much, and the pace suits everyone. I’d like to enjoy the scenery, but I feel like I need to keep my eyes on the road.

"Are you okay?" Lucy asks after a while.

"Yeah, yeah."

"Relax a bit," she says, resting her hands on my thighs. "You’re tense. Nothing’s going to happen, you know."

"I know..."

"Good. Do you want to pass them?" she suggests.

"What? Why? Jenni knows the way."

"I know it too," she chuckles.

"Oh... Well, if you want... Go ahead, then. I don’t feel up to it."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course. You deserve to have some fun too."

I don’t have to tell her twice. She moves closer to reach the handlebars. I would’ve moved my hands, but she places hers over them, just like earlier. Without warning, she gives the snowmobile a quick burst of speed, veering left. The sudden move makes me bump into her chest. Lucy must have expected it because she doesn’t budge an inch. She gives a little wave to Alexia and Jenni as we pass them on the right, then speeds up a bit more to overtake them. Her light laughter fills my ears, making me smile. I love discovering these new sides of her. She’s full of surprises. I didn’t expect her to enjoy the adrenaline rush, though I probably should have. Behind us, I hear indignant shouts—they clearly didn’t expect us to pass them. I can easily imagine Lucy’s proud grin right now.

"Enjoy the view, Ona."

"You can speed up if you want."

"Really?" she asks, sounding surprised.

"Yeah. Go for it. Like I said, you deserve to have fun too, and I know how much you love these machines."

She chuckles, making me smile. It’s not every day we get to ride a snowmobile, after all. Besides, I trust her completely. I’d be ready to close my eyes just to prove it. I feel so safe with her. Even with the increased speed, I can still take in the surrounding scenery. The landscape is covered in snow—it’s beautiful. We even get a few rays of sunlight, though the hotel employee mentioned more snow is expected later. I guess that means everything will soon be covered, so I might as well enjoy the view while I can.

"It’s beautiful, isn’t it?"

"Yeah... It’s stunning."

Two paths lie ahead of us, and Lucy takes the one on the right. From here, the road becomes steeper, but she keeps the pace steady. I’m amazed at how well she handles the snowmobile, even in these conditions. She really controls it like a pro. For someone from Australia, it’s impressive. You’d think she’d be more skilled on a surfboard... though I don’t doubt she can master that too. The road eventually improves, though it becomes a bit narrower. I’m relieved not to be driving anymore. After a while, we finally reach the end of the path. Lucy had some playful moments when the others tried to overtake us near the end. Unfortunately for them, they were up against someone stronger. We arrive at the village Lucy mentioned. It’s tiny, which makes it feel very cozy. We decide to park in front of a small café. I’m the first to get off the snowmobile. I take off my helmet and gloves, eager to feel a bit of freedom. Besides, I’ve been dying to kiss Lucy for a while now. She smiles at me as she approaches.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah."

I cradle her face and press my lips to hers. She’s surprised at first, but she soon gives in, letting me lead. I can feel her smile against my lips, which makes me smile too.

"I didn’t know you were such a good driver," I murmur.

"And you haven’t even seen all of her skills," Jenni comments from behind me. "She held back today," she laughs.

"You have to be reasonable when you’ve got someone with you," Lucy smiles, wrapping an arm around my waist.

I silently thank her for holding back for my sake. I wasn’t very comfortable at first, but I started to enjoy it when she took over.

"I did tell you you could let loose."

She smiles and kisses my cheek.

"Believe me, I enjoyed having you cuddled up against me more than speeding around like crazy."

I blush slightly. I didn’t realize she was so romantic, if I can call it that. Not that I mind.

"I enjoyed it too," I admit. "But I’d love to see playful Lucy on the way back. That was fun too."

"Oh really?" she chuckles. "I suppose you might see her again."

"And don’t hold back this time."

"Are you sure that’s what you want? You won’t last five minutes."

I open my mouth in protest before playfully hitting her arm. Judging by her expression, she really believes that.

"Of course I will! What do you take me for?!"

"I know you better than you think..."

"Okay, we’ll see who’s right," I say, crossing my arms.

"Very well," she replies with a challenging glint in her eye.

She’s going to see! I’m not a coward. I’m sure I can handle her speed all the way back to the hotel.

"Show me what you’ve got instead of treating me like a wimp."

Our friends let out some teasing "oooohs," but Lucy just laughs, unfazed.

"You won’t be disappointed," she murmurs playfully.

After our little chat, we join the others, who are gathered by a safety railing. I understand why when I see the view of the mountains. We can see everything from up here. Lucy wasn’t lying when she said it would be even more beautiful from up high. I lean on the railing as Lucy wraps her arms around me from behind. She points out various things, like a ski slope, a spot where we can go sledding later, and even our hotel, which looks tiny from here. The rest is hidden by a vast forest.

"Thanks for bringing me with you."

"Thank you for agreeing to come."

She kisses my temple, holding me a little tighter. All that matters now is us.

"Hey, lovebirds!"

"Hmm?" Lucy responds.

"We’re waiting for you. We want to grab a coffee to warm up."

"Yeah, we’re coming."

That sounds like a good idea. I’m starting to feel cold, as is probably everyone else. I take Lucy’s outstretched hand, and we join the others, who are already heading into the little chalet. This moment is simply perfect.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

hey, steph! how are you, like, genuinely? not the small talk. i wanna listen

Hey Lovely 💜🖤

I want to apologize for putting this off for so long... which should be a clue as to how I am actually doing.

Honestly? Not good, but I'm trying my best. It's been... a time. Will put under a cut for those who don't want to read about the tagged items.

TL;DR – my real life is a bit chaotic, and I hide a lot from y'all because I REALLY try not to be negative here since my blog is where I come to be happy AND because I am a very private person, but I try my best to just keep going day to day as the chaos settles down slowly.

I've got some good things coming though, so I hope a week's rest next week when I'm off (and will probably take a break from here too) will reset my brain.

Work has been insane, and is most of the cause of my mental distress for the past few months. From Easter until Canada Day Weekend at my job is lovingly referred to as "Silly Season" simply because of how on-the-fly, balls-to-the-wall our workload is until summertime downtime officially begins for us. Without disclosing too much, it's basically non-stop, long hours for me until one of the 3 break weeks we get during the this long stretch happens where, incidentally because of the nature of my job and the team I work on, it actually gets BUSIER for us.

It actually ended earlier than we expected this year (yesterday) and we'll be "quieter" until the end of September now. See an opportunity, I actually took next week off between the two long weekends because my mental health has taken a severe hit and I'm having trouble just... enjoying things? I'm haven't gamed or drew in a few weeks, and blogging and writing feels like a chore. I literally just come home, file this blog, reply to one or two asks, and then go to bed, and do it all over again the next day. Day in and day out, for 3 months. On weekends I have to force myself out of my apartment because I KNOW I will sink lower if I don't leave.

On top of that, my brain has convinced me that literally everyone hates me: friends, coworkers, family, you guys, my damned plants. I just feel very alone these days and... I'll be real here, I've almost abandoned this blog a few times in the past few months. I feel like I make fic lists that no one reblogs or likes and tell me they're all shit. I post my art and I barely break 20 notes. I write something and I get maybe 2 likes. I can't really answer any thoughtful asks because my mental state's been in the shitter for months. I desperately want to reply to the few sexuality asks I have and I physically can't. Being on my computer – after working ON a computer for my day job for 12 hour days everyday – feels like too much, so I try to limit my time on the blog now too.

I just try to keep carrying on, encouraged by the once-in-a-blue-moon testimonial ask I get thanking me for still being here. I thank YOU guys for reminding me that people still like coming here.

Stressed about money and food and rent just like everyone else, and just getting frustrated at other things.

And finally, my uncle (my dad's brother and my godfather) hasn't been doing well health-wise, and he's being moved to assisted living next week. His health has been declining since Easter, so it's been a bit of worrying time for relatives.

Having my therapist helps a lot. She talks me through a lot of my complicated feelings, my sense of self and ways to cope with my anxiety and stress. I'm talking to her again next week, so no worries, gang. As I said, I just keep on keeping on.

Some positivity though:

I booked next week off to try to just... recenter myself. To forget about everything and TRY to get back to doing the things I love. I will probably take a break from this blog as well during that time to limit my social-media time. It's not ideal but I need a break from my computer, I think.

I go to the gym a lot more these days, which has helped with the seething annoyance I constantly have at work. Usually feel better after it.

And because of the gym and getting out more, I've been slowly feeling better physically, better than I have since before 2019. The break from work is for the mental health, LOL.

I'm getting my hair recoloured next week. Can't afford it, really, but I just REALLY need to feel better about myself again, and I always feel so different when I colour my hair. I was doing so good for awhile. I want that again.

Anyway, I'm sorry to bombard y'all with my complicated mess of a brain. I really do appreciate you asking, so THANK YOU. I rarely get asked in real life if I am okay because I keep very private due to past people betraying my trust. And I don't like seeing people unhappy, so I feel if I tell people about my problems, then I feel I am a burden, so I just... continue existing.

Thank you for letting me be a burden just this once.

[roguekhajiit]

TW: Transphobia

I had my first ever encounter with a transphobic member of the LGBTQ community this week.

At work on Monday, I overheard some co-workers discussing Transgender Day of Visibility and how President Biden issued a statement acknowledging Trans Day. Since it just so happened to occur on the same day as Easter this year, my very close-minded co-workers took that and Biden's statement as evidence that Trans people are trying to take over Easter!

Now, I consider myself to be Non-binary (specifically Demi-girl/Agender), but I tend to fly under the radar, which is very helpful since I live in a very, very red state. It doesn't hurt that my normal sense of personal style is very casual and all black. So, I can wear traditionally "men's" pants, and no one pays much attention to me, which is the way I prefer it. I hate anything that draws attention to myself.

So, I bit my tongue and hyperfocused on my work. Then, when I went home, the non-binary gremlin in me just couldn't be contained anymore; I opened Reddit and made a post about how no one is going around trying to steal stolen holidays.

Now, I was fully anticipating pissed off Christians to rain their uninhibited fake outrage down onto the comment section (which happened) but I wasn't anticipating a self-identified 60 yr old gay man to come into my comments saying things like, "Why would you put a Trans holiday anywhere near a religious holiday knowing every seven years it's gonna land on said holiday" and "As a gay man I believe that the one part of our community is stifling the rest of us."

Tell me you're transphobic without telling me you're transphobic.

Now, since I can't just ignore the sheer inaccuracy of his math; according to Google from 2001 to 2100, Easter will only land on March 31st 5 times. Five times in an entire century. The last time Easter was on March 31st, it was 2013. So, 11 years ago, or over a decade ago. No one gave a shit in 2013 that Easter and Trans Day were on the same day. But let the president acknowledge it in a statement and everyone loses their fucking minds.

So, why would you avoid celebrating something important in your life on the off chance that it might coincide with someone's religious holiday? Of course, you wouldn't. If your birthday is on Christmas, do you no longer have a birthday?

"Next, why wouldn't you place it in the month of pride then each day of pride month could have a different day celebrating each letter of the lbgtq+ community."

Yes, that is what Pride Month is for, celebrating the diversity of the LGBTQ+ community. But are you gay only in June?

But sadly, even some in our diverse community isolate and vilify trans individuals just like what this old gay dinosaur is doing. For 15 years, a vast majority didn't know or even give a shit that Trans Day existed. That is until a president acknowledged it.

"May I point out there's no gay holidays that coincide with Yom kipper or Ramadan."

True, Yom Kippur and Ramadan don't coincide with any "gay holidays," but Shavout is directly in the middle of Pride Month. Any outrage there?

"So just piss off the Christian's so they have one more thing to hate us for. I find many in our community asking for acceptance while giving none, just my opinion and nothing more."

How very accepting of you to say, my lord.

"Maybe it's time we all in the gay community and cis people give the whole year to the Trans community."

But they aren't asking for the year, or even a month. They just want one day that is their own. And even members of our own LGBTQ+ community can't even give them that.

"I'm gay so I can't be transphobic."

Your statements say otherwise. Just because you're gay doesn't mean you are absolved of your transphobia.

Perhaps it's time we stop placating these dusty ass old gay dinosaurs and call them out on their hateful thinking. Their "I got mine" attitude only harms our communities. Just because you won the fight for same sex marriage doesn't mean you're safe. The fight for equality is never-ending.

More and more of us are having our rights stripped away right before our very eyes. Roe v. Wade has already been overturned, and they aren't going to stop there. They never planned to stop there. They are very methodically chipping away at our rights. Right now, they are focusing their efforts on the trans community, slowly outlawing their very existence. And while they have you distracted by that, they are quietly overturning same sex marriage laws. Your rights aren't safe and never will be safe as long as we have members in our communities who subscribe to this kind of thinking.

[slipping-through-my-fingertips]

Hiding, Denying

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Ao3

Summary: Annabeth wants to tell their friends about the baby until she doesn't

Luckily Annabeth spends most of her days behind a desk. During the last half of her second trimester, the morning sickness begins to subside a bit. Now that she wasn’t hiding her morning sickness at work, the next hurdle was the bump. 

Since that first morning spotting it, the bump grows more and more prominent. 

She starts with lightly untucking her button downs, adding a little extra space in that tummy region. In following weeks, it’s baggier pants. Then it’s empire waist sundresses all summer long, which hang over her bump but don’t show it.

Annabeth keeps herself tucked in her office (not unusual for her) and holds most of her client meetings in house instead of on site. If her coworkers are still in the dark, there’s no way she’s revealing her pregnancy to their clients. 

Mid-July, Annabeth feels ready. 

They’ve already told Sally and Paul over their weekly Sunday dinner, Annabeth’s parents and brothers at Easter, and Estelle over mini golf and ice cream and a long winded explanation of what it means becoming an aunt. They had a short beach meeting with Posideon, though it seemed he already knew. After a few tries, Annabeth managed an Iris Message to Athena.  

They had tracked Grover down too. Found a time to catch up and have some lunch together in the middle of Central Park. If it was even possible, Grover cried more than Sally and Frederick. 

She wishes Piper and Frank and Hazel were closer. They’d love to tell them in person. Then, Annabeth realizes they can. 

“Percy,” Annabeth says one night. “I want to take a trip.” 

He peeks his head out of the bathroom. Toothbrush his mouth, he says, “when?” 

She shrugs, “next week?” 

With school out of session, it’s no problem for Percy to up and leave and Annabeth’s got plenty of PTO to burn through. She wants to save most of it for when maternity leave runs out but there’s enough that she can take a few days for a little trip. 

So, she puts in the time off request, it’s approved almost immediately, and they book some flights. (Zeus has been a slightly more lenient in allowing Percy to fly nowadays)

The perk of knowing the higher ups at Camp Jupiter means they always have a place to stay out in California. Frank even makes a point to meet them as soon as they arrive. 

“Hey guys! You made it,” he says. 

It’s been a while so they hug. There’s a moment of panic when Annabeth’s bump hits Frank’s stomach. 

Frank opens his mouth but Annabeth never lets him say anything. 

“Sorry, big lunch.” 

Percy looks at her funny. As if to say “I thought we came here to tell people?” 

Frank, bless him, doesn’t say anything as he walks them to their weekend apartment. 

“We’ll see you later Frank,” Annabeth continues, pulling Percy along. 

When they’re safely inside their apartment for the weekend, Annabeth dramatically throws herself onto the sofa, sighing loudly.  

“What was that?” Percy asks. 

“Please.” 

She didn’t even know what she was pleading for. 

“If you don’t want to tell them, it’s okay with me but we’ll need a cover story because they’re all going to wonder why we’re here.” 

The thing was Annabeth did want to tell their friends. She had no idea why she couldn’t just tell Frank earlier. 

Their families had taken the news so well. She’d never seen her dad so happy. He actually cried when they told him. 

She knew their demigod family would react similarly. 

Instead of dealing with her weirdness, she reached a hand up and pulled Percy onto the sofa with her. She had to stretch more now to kiss him with her bump getting in the way but sitting down, Annabeth still held control. She straddles his lap and holds his head in place with one hand to the back of his head. Percy is so easily distracted by kissing when Annabeth pulls away he doesn’t even bother asking more questions as she trails her lips down his neck.   

“Bed?” She asks. 

Percy picks her up and carries her to the bedroom. 

He breaks their kiss when he deposits her on the edge of the bed, “you’re not getting out of this conversation with sex.” 

“Can’t we pause it to have sex first?” 

He answers with a furious kiss to her collarbone. 

An hour later finds them back on the sofa. Decidedly not making out. 

Annabeth’s changed into a sundress, something she’s sure Piper will comment on at dinner tonight. She rarely wore dresses. But it hides her bump better than shorts. 

“We have 20 minutes before we need to be there, let’s chat.” 

She doesn’t want to meet his eyes but she does. It’s Percy. Anything Annabeth says, he’ll understand. He might laugh a little but it’s never in a mean way. 

“What if they judge us?” 

Percy doesn’t laugh. His reaction is worse than laughter; it’s pitiful, it’s worrisome. 

“Annabeth,” he says, gently, “what makes you think that?” 

“We’re so young, Percy.” 

“And? We’ve known each other since we were 12. Together since we were 15. Most of our friends have only known us as a couple. This isn’t going to be a surprise for them.” 

He’s right. Of course he is. Because deep down, Annabeth knew they’re friends were going to be nothing but excited for them. 

But a few days ago allowed for doubt creep into her mind. 

In true Percy fashion, he reads her mind, “so what happened to make you think they would?” 

In true Annabeth fashion, she had kept this bottled inside letting it linger in her mind, creeping into her head when she was trying to fall asleep. When she knew if she let Percy in, share the burden, she’d be past this feeling already. 

“How are we supposed to be good parents? I’ve been royally screwed up by mine. Sure, my dad’s better than he was but my childhood…well what childhood did I really get?” 

“I think my mom did the best she could,” Percy says, avoiding the topic of his former-step father and the lack of seeing his biological dad, “and I think you were a great sibling to your cabin. Being an older sister is very similar to being a mom.” 

Annabeth smiles a little. “And you know that from all your experience as an older sister?” 

“Being an older brother taught me some things.” he shrugs. 

“This isn’t what’s bugging you though,” Percy says, “maybe it’s connected but being worried about us being good parents isn’t the same as our friends judging us for having this baby.” 

“Remember when I went to camp on Tuesday?”

“Yeah, to see Chiron about updating the Big House?”

“Well, after we were done, I went for a walk. Reminiscing…”

She had also gotten herself a larger camp shirt for the bump, which is now too large to fit in the ones she has. 

“And I passed these campers who were talking about kids and stuff. Long story short, they don’t think it’s okay for demigods to be having kids young.”

“Why?” 

“I didn’t hear it all,” she replies, in truth she had gotten too upset and went to the beach to calm down. “Essentially they called it irresponsible because we’re always at risk, y’know? And being a baby into this messy world…what if we’re terrible for doing this?” 

“Annabeth, they’re teenagers, what do they know about this messy world? What do they know about us and what we’ve faced?” Percy tells her, “we’ve done some pretty dangerous stuff. I think parenthood will be a cakewalk in comparison.” 

“But what if we’re just putting this child into…”

“Nope, stop that.” Percy pulls her closer. “You’re going to be a killer mom, whether it’s literal or not. You got this. Right here,” he puts their hands on her bump, “is the luckiest baby in the world because it’s got you on their side.” 

Annabeth wipes away her tears. He’s right and as usual she’s heard exactly what she needed to hear. Percy has perfected that over the years. 

“Let’s go tell our friends we’re pregnant,” she tells him. 

Percy kisses her cheek and she finally feels ready to let the world know she’s going to be the best damn mom she can be.

[clangenrising]

Wow <3

Thank you guys so much for all of the amazing feedback during the Battle with Razor. And another, special thanks to @tiritirimatangi and the ClanGen team for the amazing game and for the special easter eggs included in the Myths and Mysteries update that is soon to be published. Seriously, without any of you guys, my fans included, I could not have made RisingClan what it is and I am SO thankful.

We recently passed the one year anniversary of this blog which is CRAZY to me. I have never stuck with a project this consistently for this long and I am amazed at the kind of stuff I've been able to put out. I have big plans for the story going forward that I am so excited to share with you guys.

However, this blog is a lot of work. I spend days a week writing for RisingClan and lately I haven't had the time to draw much art to go along with it, especially since I've had to get a day job. I want to do more with RisingClan, but at the moment, that's tricky. Several people have recommended that I start a Patreon or something to help and I was hesitant because I didn't want to get into any legal trouble but I recently learned that, as long as you don't use any official Warrior Cats branding, Warrior Cats is completely fine with people making money off of their fan works which is such a relief.

SO! I have some questions and I would love to hear your feedback on them.

If I started a Patreon, what kind of Patreon rewards would you be interested in seeing? What would you be willing to pay for those rewards? Is this something you would be interested in at all?

I think this could be a really good next step for this blog that would allow me a bit more freedom to pursue creative projects but I also am hesitant to get over excited when it comes to something like this. I'm sure you all saw the fiasco with Watcher.TV and I definitely don't want to make the same mistakes they did.

No matter what happens with the Patreon, I will never put any of the stuff you've been seeing behind a paywall. RisingClan is a project I want to share with my community and I'm not going to charge people to engage with my art. I also want to make sure that what I might provide on my Patreon feels like it is worth whatever you are being charged, even if that's just 1 dollar a month. I'm not here to get rich. I don't want anyone putting themself at financial risk on my behalf. All I want is to be able to feel a little more able to spend time on RisingClan without worrying that I'm being irresponsible.

Thank you again for following me so far and for being so amazing. I really could not ask for a better audience. I look forward to hearing your feedback, whatever it may be.

With so much love, ~ Rowan

[merrybloomwrites]

You Can Start a Family (Chapter 5)

Summary: Another few days spent with Mitch and Sarah lead to more developments in your relationship.

Previous Chapters: One ; Two ; Three ; Four

TW for this chapter: It contains smut

I did have one person mention that these posts aren't showing up for them, I'm guessing because the story now has a mature community label, so let me know if you want to be added to the taglist so you don't miss anything!

Hope you enjoy, and would love to know what you're thinking of the story so far!

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The following week is busy at work. Ryan’s mom, Beth, is a high school teacher and has been stuck working longer hours, as it was the end of a marking period as well as the week before spring break. You and Ryan had started going on more outings. You were busy taking him to baby music class, and story time at the local library.

Sarah and Mitch had also started to spend more time at the studio, often going for hours or even the whole day. You hadn’t seen them all week, and after having spent a whole weekend together, you were missing them.

Finally on Thursday you see them for the first time in days. You’re loading Ryan into his car seat as they get out of their car across the street.

They walk over to you waving hello before leaning in to say hi to Ryan.

“How are you love?” Sarah asks. “We’ve missed you,” she says as Mitch nods in agreement.

“I missed you guys too,” you say with a shy smile. “I’ve been good, crazy busy. We’re trying different activities for Ryan. His mom wants him socializing with other kids and burning some energy. Which definitely is needed. Plus, he switched to one nap a day so there’s a lot of time to fill.” You realize you’re once again rambling and turn the conversation to them, asking, “What have you been up to?”

“Mitch got some inspiration for new music, so we’ve been working on that.”

“That’s so cool! Can I hear some of it?”

“Sure kid,” Mitch replies. “Are you free anytime soon?”

“Ryan’s family is going away for Easter this Sunday and taking a long weekend, so I’ll be off next Monday and Tuesday. If you’re free, maybe we could have another sleepover? My apartment this time.” You blush, nervous that you sounded too forward.

“What are you doing for the holiday?” Sarah asks.

“Honestly, probably nothing. Maybe make a special meal or something. What about you guys?” You notice they didn’t acknowledge your invitation and grow more worried that they no longer want that aspect of their relationship with you. Before your mind spirals, Mitch answers.

“My aunt and uncle are visiting for a couple days,” Mitch answers before continuing, “And you will be coming over for dinner.”

“I really don’t want to intrude-” Sarah cuts you off, saying, “Y/N, you will be coming over for dinner. No question. You’re never intruding. And if you don’t mind, maybe we could come over on Sunday after dinner and stay a couple of days?”

Your face lights up and you reply, “I absolutely would not mind.” At that moment Ryan starts loudly babbling, tired of listening to the adults. “I should get going, story time starts soon.”

Sarah leans in and gives you a light hug, saying, “Of course! Sounds like we’ve got a great plan.” She pulls back and Mitch rests his hand on your shoulder for a second before squeezing once and pulling away. You know that these are the only types of contact you can have with them in public. Even if you were spotted, those casual touches wouldn’t raise any suspicions.

You double check that Ryan’s car seat straps are tight enough and continue with your afternoon. You have newfound energy now that you know that you’ll be spending multiple days with Mitch and Sarah.

Friday passes quickly and you keep busy on Saturday, doing a much deeper clean than usual since you would be having guests. You also go food shopping and make sure to pick up ingredients for an appetizer and a dessert which you make Sunday morning before heading over to the Rowland’s house in the early afternoon.

Mitch’s father answers the door and leads you into the kitchen where the rest of the family is congregated. You’re greeted by Mitch, Sarah, and Tammy, and introduced to Mitch’s aunt and uncle. You have a wonderful afternoon with everyone, enjoying the stories they’re all telling.

After dessert is over, and you finish playing a few rounds of a card game that got way more competitive than expected, you’re saying goodbye to Mitch’s family. He and Sarah each grab their bags and walk out to your car with you.

It’s a quick drive to your place and next thing you know, Mitch and Sarah are walking around your apartment, complimenting the view and decorations.

“This apartment really is beautiful. I love the windows and it’s so spacious in here,” Sarah says.

“There aren’t many perks to most of your family dying in your early 20’s, but being the sole recipient of all life insurance payouts and inheritances would probably be the one bright side.”

They both stare at you, as they do when you mention your trauma so nonchalantly.

“What?” you say, “I’m talking about the positives! Don’t give me those faces. Anyone want some water?” You decide it might just be best to move on from the discussion of your dead relatives. You grab a couple bottles of water from the fridge and hand one to each of them asking, “Do you guys want to sit out on the deck?”

They agree and you lead them outside to show them one of your favorite parts of your apartment. It’s a decently large deck, big enough to fit an outdoor loveseat plus another comfy chair, and since you’re a corner unit, it faces the woods behind your building, allowing for privacy. You sit in the single chair, leaving them to share the loveseat. You start to tell them about the wildlife you’ve seen in the woods, then point out the constellations you could see.

You all spend a few minutes sitting quietly enjoying each other’s company as well as the mild early spring weather. You feel a hand on your arm and know that it’s Sarah. You turn to her, and she gently pulls you, saying, “You’re too far away, come here.”

You get up and stand in front of them, not sure exactly where to sit. She pulls you down so that you are seated sideways on her lap, your legs extended over Mitch. He runs his hands over your shins and Sarah wraps her arms around your waist, holding you close. After another few minutes of listening to the calm sounds of the night you feel Sarah brushing your hair over your shoulder so she can start to kiss your neck.

Your eyes close at the feeling of her lips on your skin and of Mitch’s hands traveling higher on your legs. You slowly turn your head and seek out Sarah’s lips with your own. Neither of you hesitate to deepen the kiss, tongues immediately searching each other’s mouths. Mitch leans in to take over peppering your neck in kisses, occasionally switching to do the same to Sarah. He eventually turns you away from Sarah to himself, and you get lost in the feeling of kissing him. Next thing you know you’re watching them make out in front of you as your hands absently trail along their skin.

You all continue on like this for a while, getting lost in the sensations.

“Should we head inside?” Sarah asks, and you nod your head.

You all stand up, Mitch steadying both you and Sarah. You walk into your bedroom, immensely glad you had decided to splurge on the king bed. You stop just in the doorway and feel Mitch’s hand on your lower back. You’re equal parts excited and nervous about what’s about to happen, and you wonder if you’ll ever move past your nerves. You feel Mitch’s lips against your ear, and he asks, “Would you like to learn something new tonight?”

You turn your head to him, eyes practically crossing trying to look at him when he’s so close, and you nod again. He turns to whisper something to Sarah, and she smirks before climbing in bed and leaning against the headboard.

“C’mere, love,” she says to you, and you climb up the bed towards her. She pulls you in and says, “Mitch thinks we can teach you some different things to do with your mouth, what do you think?” Your eyes practically roll back in your head at the suggestion. You bite your lip and nod before saying, “I think that’s a great idea.” You start kissing her neck, biting gently as though overeager at the idea of using your mouth to please them.

Clothes are thrown off bodies and onto the floor. You start to kiss down Sarah’s body. You’re leaving kisses on the inside of her thighs when you suddenly feel kisses on your own thighs from behind. You glance back to see Mitch is behind you, just as bare as you and Sarah.

“Just follow along with Mitch,” Sarah says. You’re confused for a moment but then gasp as you feel him lick along your core. You understand what Sarah meant and lean to do the same to her. The sounds she lets out spur you on, each whimper turning you on even more and you barely hold yourself back from pushing closer to Mitch’s mouth.

You take note of the different things he does with his lips and tongue and recreate the moves to the best of your ability on Sarah. You feel the familiar tightening in your belly as your orgasm approaches. You hum in pleasure and the vibrations push Sarah over the edge. She grabs your hair, careful not to pull too hard. You work her through her orgasm and a second later fall into your own.

You lay your head on Sarah’s stomach as you both catch your breath. Her fingers weave through your hair as Mitch presses light kisses to your back. He climbs up towards Sarah, and she pushes him to lay on his back. Your eyes meet Sarah’s, and she beckons your closer. You crawl up to kiss her, then Mitch.

You think about what today’s lesson is, and take a deep breath before moving back down, this time trailing kisses along Mitch’s torso. You kiss just above his groin and look at his hard cock before glancing back to Sarah, silently asking for advice on what to do next.

She starts to whisper instructions in your ear, and you lean down to wrap your lips around him. He groans and clutches the sheets to keep himself from thrusting into your mouth. At Sarah’s direction you switch between sucking on what you can fit in your mouth and running your tongue along his length and around his tip. After a few minutes he pulls you off of him and sits up so he can press his lips to yours and you share a kiss so messy you can feel your teeth clashing against his.

“You did so good, baby,” he says in your ear before nipping at your neck and pulling away. He turns to Sarah and kisses her before pulling her onto his lap. He reaches down, and in a move so practiced and smooth that you almost miss it, he slides inside her. They both throw their heads back, moaning as they come together before sharing a moment of eye contact. You realize he’s checking in that she’s okay before they start to move together. You’re fascinated by what’s playing out in front of you. Sure, you’re turned on, but you’re more curious to watch than participate. That doesn’t mean they’re okay with you being left out, and they make sure they each have a hand somewhere on your body the whole time. You watch Sarah fall apart, Mitch following right after.

You all collapse onto the bed, a jumble of limbs, bright smiles on everyone’s faces. You’re once again surprised at how right this feels. You fall asleep with your head on Sarah’s chest, hand clasped with Mitch’s over her.

The next day you again wake up first. You slide out of bed, throw on some clothes, and go to the kitchen to make a cup of tea and reflect on the night before. You think about how safe they make you feel and how patient they are teaching you about intimacy. You’ve been so scared about being physical with someone that you thought it might never happen. But now you think back to how gentle Mitch was with Sarah, how he made sure to check in with her, and you start to think that you might be ready to have that as well.

Mitch and Sarah join you in the kitchen and you make them tea as well. As you set the mugs down Mitch’s phone starts to ring with an incoming FaceTime call. You glance at it and are surprised to see that it’s Harry calling. Harry Styles. Somehow you had yet to interact with him at all even though you’d been hanging out with his best friends for weeks.

Mitch answers the call and starts talking to Harry. Sarah quietly laughs at the look of panic on your face. You take some deep breaths, forcing yourself to stop fangirling before you somehow make a fool of yourself in the background of the call. You’ve just managed to contain your excitement when Mitch pulls you over to officially introduce you to Harry. You learn that he does know who you are, and Mitch and Sarah have apparently been talking about you to their friends.

It’s a short call, Harry had just wanted to check in on everyone and soon they hang up. Breakfast that morning is simple, everyone pouring a bowl of cereal and you discuss what to do that day.

“Do you still want to hear some of Mitch’s new music?” Sarah asks and you answer with an enthusiastic, “Of course I do!”

After everyone showers and gets ready for the day, you all drive over to the studio. Mitch plays two of the songs he’s working on, and you listen closely, watching in amazement as he sings the songs he wrote himself.

“I was wondering if you could help me with something,” he says timidly after you compliment him on his music.

“Sure, what is it?” you reply.

“I’ve got some ideas for guitar harmonies and want to test them out against the melody. If I tell you the chord progression, would you be able to play melody so I can see if it all works together?”

“Yes, absolutely.” He teaches you what to play and you spend the next couple of hours working on his songs, fascinated to see what goes on behind the scenes.

When you all start to get hungry you leave the studio to pick up sandwiches for lunch. You mention a walking trail nearby that has great views and you decide to take your lunch there. It’s a short walk to the first outlook and you settle there to eat. You ask Mitch and Sarah about their childhoods, wanting to know more about them. You continue your questions after lunch when you’re all walking towards the waterfall at the end of the trail.

When you reach it, Sarah starts taking pictures, including a selfie of the three of you which she immediately sends you. You’ll later make that your phone background, but no one needs to know that.

You start walking back and Mitch says, “So, I was thinking we could all go to Bella Luna’s tonight for dinner.”

You’ve heard of Bella Luna’s before. It’s one of the nicer restaurants in town. Ryan’s parents have gone there a couple of times for date nights, and you know it’s viewed as highly romantic.

“Oh, I’ve heard great reviews about that place,” Sarah replies with a cheeky smile. You nod and agree and spend the rest of the afternoon wondering what this fancy dinner might mean.

Back home everyone starts getting ready. Mitch informs you that the reservation is set for 6PM and you wonder when he set that up, as he hadn’t been on his phone at all that day aside from talking to Harry. You also realize that they both had fancy clothes packed and wonder if they had planned this ahead of time.

You walk out of your bathroom after getting changed, smoothing down your dress and fiddling with your hair to make sure it’s lying just right. You look up and see Mitch and Sarah staring at you.

Sarah walks over and places her hands on your hips, saying, “You look amazing,” before pulling you in for a kiss. “You look amazing too,” you reply after breaking apart. Mitch walks up to you saying, “You both look beautiful,” and you each kiss and compliment him as well.

You have a wonderful time at dinner. The conversation flows naturally, and the food is delicious. There’s never an awkward silence, and you realize how compatible you all are in every way.

Once back at your apartment, the evening goes like the one before and you find yourselves again out on the deck. Instead of you sitting on the chair, Mitch immediately pulls you on the loveseat with him and Sarah, and you’re sat half in each of their laps.

“Dinner tonight was delicious, thank you for taking me there,” you say.

“Of course, love,” Sarah replies. “We needed to make our first date special.”

At the word date you quickly turn to her, a shocked and confused expression on your face. You knew they cared about you, knew they were interested in you physically, but hadn’t dared to hope for the relationship to take this turn.

No one has ever expressed interest in you this way before, and here are two wonderful people wanting to bring you into their relationship. Two people who had everything they could want, but still opened themselves up to another person.

“We really care about you, Y/N,” Mitch says, and you turn to look at him. “Not just in a friendly or familial way. We care about you the way we care about each other.” Sarah is nodding in agreement, and you reply, “I care about you both too. More than anyone else.”

“I know this won’t necessarily be easy,” Sarah says. “It’s a complicated dynamic, especially with us being so well known publicly. But Y/N, we want to be with you. We want you as part of our relationship. Would you like that too?”

“I would. I really would. I know it’ll be difficult, and we’ll have to keep it a secret, but I want a relationship with you both. Being with you two just feels right in a way nothing ever has before.”

“We feel the same way,” Mitch replies.

They each press a kiss to your lips before sharing one with each other. The three of you sit there in an embrace, and the fact that you’re in a relationship sinks in. You can’t help the huge smile that breaks out on your face.

“What is it?” Mitch asks, noticing your expression.

“Nothing,” you reply. “I’m just really, really happy.”

“We are too,” Sarah says and meets you for another kiss. Mitch turns you towards him and he quickly deepens the kiss. This time you don’t get lost in the feeling, too lost in your thoughts of what you want to happen next.

Mitch notices your hesitance and pulls away asking, “What’s wrong, baby?”

You shiver at the nickname, holding one of his hands in yours and fidgeting with his fingers while building up the nerve to tell him what you’re thinking.

“Nothing’s wrong. I just. There’s something I want to do. And it makes me really nervous, but I think that I’m ready.” You pause a moment before continuing, “I know that I’m ready. To do this. With you.”

With the hand you’re not currently holding, Mitch cups your face to bring you to look at him. “Y/N, what is it you want to do?”

Even just saying the words feels impossible, not used to wanting this, let alone asking for it. “I, uhm, I want to- I’m ready to go all the way.”

He looks you in the eyes before asking, “Are you saying that you want to have sex with me?” You try to look away, somehow both embarrassed and turned on at the blunt way Mitch is clarifying your desires. “Because it’s absolutely okay if you do. I want to do that too. But only if you’re really ready,” he continues.

“I am,” you say firmly. “I’m ready. I’ve always been so scared of sex, but I saw the way you were with Sarah last night and, I dunno, I just know that you’d take care of me. I realized I don’t have to be scared with you. With either of you,” you finish, reaching one of your hands to rest on Sarah’s leg.

“Of course I’ll take care of you baby,” he says. “It’s all we want to do.” He leans in and presses his lips to yours, picking up where he left off a few minutes earlier. You feel like you’re too far away from him and move to straddle his lap. His hands immediately go to your waist, pulling you in so you’re flush against him.  

You feel his hard cock against you and begin to grow excited at the thought of what’s about to happen. He guides your arms around his neck and tells you to hold on tight. The next moment he stands from the couch, hands sliding to your bottom to support you so he can carry you inside. The three of you make your way to the bedroom, and Mitch lays you down on the bed, immediately crawling on top of you.

You get lost in the feeling of Mitch’s tongue stroking yours, on his hands sliding along your body. You tug on his shirt and break away to pull it off of him. He does the same to your dress and within minutes all of your clothes are on the floor. His fingers are at your entrance, slipping in one at a time to slowly open you up.  

You look over to see that Sarah is fully clothed and you pout. She notices your expression and says, “I’m okay love, I just want to watch tonight. This is a special moment for you.” You reach out your hand to hold on to hers and she passes something to Mitch before sliding her fingers between yours.

You hear a noise and look back to Mitch and realize what Sarah had handed him. He opens the condom wrapper and slips it on before running the head of his cock through your folds. He looks at you and asks, “Are you sure?” Without hesitating you tell him you’re sure, that you want this.

He lines himself up and starts to push in. You gasp at the stretch and squeeze Sarah’s hand. Mitch leans down to pepper kisses and love bites along your neck as Sarah runs her free hand on your stomach. You focus on those feelings as Mitch continues to push in, checking that you’re okay throughout.

Finally, he’s flush against you, letting out a loud groan in your ear at the feeling of you wrapped around him. Tears leak out of your closed eyes and you’re unsure if they’re from the uncomfortable pressure of being filled for the first time or from the overwhelming emotions running through you.

Sarah wipes away the tears, leaning in to quietly say, “You’re doing so well, love.” After a moment of letting you adjust, Mitch checks in again to see how you’re feeling, and if you want him to continue or pull out.

“Keep going, I’m good, please, you can keep going,” you tell him in a breathy voice you’ve never heard from yourself before.

He starts to move, slow thrusts at first before building up a rhythm after he’s sure you’re ready for more. It doesn’t take long to switch from uncomfortable pressure to intense pleasure. You’re still holding one of Sarah’s hands in yours and she uses her free hand to rub circles on your clit. You’re lost in the sensations, Mitch inside you, Sarah adding to the pleasure, both of their lips leaving kisses all over your body. It all builds until you come with a loud moan, clenching around Mitch. It’s an intense feeling, one that causes you to see stars, and you’re only vaguely aware of Mitch reaching his orgasm just after you.

They both slow down before stilling completely. Mitch tucks his face into your neck saying, “I’m gonna pull out now, okay babe?” You nod and he slowly pulls out as Sarah presses more kisses to the top of your head.

Mitch gets off the bed and you whimper and reach for him, not wanting him to be far away from you. “Shh, love,” Sarah says gently. “He’ll be right back; he’s just gone to get a cloth to clean up.”

A moment later he’s back and uses a damp washcloth to clean between your legs. He slips on a pair of boxers and places a large t-shirt on the bed for you. You know he’s giving you the option to put it on if you’d like but not pressuring you to, and you realize how well he already knows what will make you most comfortable. You slip on the shirt as he climbs in bed next to you. As you curl into his side, Sarah gets up and you pout again but refrain from grabbing for her as well. She changes into pajamas and gets back under the covers, holding you tightly.

You fall asleep almost immediately, missing the whispered conversation between the other two.

“How are you feeling?” Mitch asks her. He knew they had talked previously about the possibility of you and Mitch having sex, but he still wanted to make sure Sarah didn’t feel any different after seeing it happen.

“Honestly?” She replies. “I feel great. Y/N said it earlier, it just feels right. Watching the two of you together was mesmerizing, and beautiful. I think I may have fallen even more in love with you.” He grabs her hand and squeezes gently. You stir in their arms, turning towards Sarah and tucking your face into her neck. They share a smile over you and fall asleep as well.

Shockingly, you’re the last one awake the next morning. When you do finally wake up, you realize you’re sprawled on top of Mitch, clinging to him. He’s running his fingers through your hair, and you feel so content you almost fall back asleep. Before you do, Sarah walks in with a tray full of food. You climb off of Mitch to sit in the middle of the bed and Sarah sets down the tray before sitting next to you.

You rest your head on her shoulder and she says, “Good morning love. You feeling okay?”

“I’m feeling absolutely wonderful,” you reply with a shy smile. You glance at Mitch and see he’s looking at you with a similarly fond expression. “I’m also suddenly starving,” you continue. “This looks amazing!”

They laugh at your enthusiasm for breakfast, and you all start to dig in.

“What would you like to do today,” Mitch asks.

“Nothing. I want to do nothing today. I want to stay here with the two of you and have a movie marathon or binge TV and just cuddle.”

“Sounds like a plan to me,” he replies.

And that’s what the three of you do. At lunch time you switch to hanging out in the living room instead of the bedroom, but that’s the extent of your effort for the day. They end up staying that night as well, brushing their teeth beside you in the bathroom before bed, and you revel in how domestic it feels.

They wake up bright and early with you the next morning and make sure to get their goodbye kisses before you all leave the apartment together. You drop them off in their driveway on your way to work and they each give you a quick hug before going inside the house.

You turn the car around and pull into Ryan’s driveway and sit in there for a moment before going into the house. You give yourself a couple minutes to think about the past few days, smiling and letting out a giggle when you can no longer contain the pure joy you feel.

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A/N: Thank you so much for reading! I'm excited for the next part, we're finally adding Harry to the mix soon!

Taglist:@akkatz @pandeebearstyles @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @theekyliepage @numafarawayglxy @booberry019-blog @hillzrry @ssareidbby

[taylorrepdetective]

Any guesses for season 2?  Living full time in KC?  Going to all the games?  Engagement?

As I’ve said before, I believe season 2 is the most likely scenario. I believe this because it has been so successful and I don’t see a reason for her to mess with success. And I see few signs of a change. And if season 2 does happen, a big part of it will be the constant anticipation for an engagement ( and pregnancy unfortunately.) Every appearance she makes at a game would involve the GP looking at her hands and speculating about Travis asking or them announcing it publicly in some way. This would be huge publicity for both of them, and for the NFL and Chiefs. Viewership and scuttlebutt will continue to be high. I haven’t paid too much attention this off season, but I believe KC will be the favorite to go to the SB again, so that’s another chance for huge, huge publicity for her. But it is a bit of a “been there done that” situation, so that should be kept in mind. I do not know what her next big project is (re-recording, TS12, documentary, hyping herself up as a director, or something else) but if she does have something (I think we can assume a re-recording by March, so that counts) this is her promo for it, just like she used it last year for eras tour movie, 1989 tv, and TTPD. Even if she has nothing specific to promote, there’s always her brand and the perception that she likes men, along with keeping her actual private life private. For him, he has his game show and the Ryan Murphy show to promote. Plus he’s trying to do a huge podcast deal and trying to get more similar gigs, especially a movie deal.

So, short term: she goes to games (possibly as early as this Thursday - romantically flying straight from London.) She will appear to spend the bulk of the next 2 months in KC. When he has extra days off they may do something outside of kc✅. I think he’ll have a few days after this Thursday’s game✅. I don’t have the energy to look up if his bye week coincides with a tour stop, but I looked in the past, and I don’t think it does. Basically similar to last year except he probably won’t make it to a show. She’ll probably go the VMAs.

However, while I think the above is most likely, I can see several different paths that would add something more fun and interesting (for me - I have been mostly bored by travlor since January.) For example I believe that whenever the breakup is planned (tomorrow or 4 years from now) she will do it in a hilarious and well thought-out way that I am really looking forward to. I think she’ll try to top her announcing the toe breakup by switching out Invisible String and then officially announcing it at midnight, Easter, London time, on Matty’s birthday, followed by all her friends unfollowing him one by one. I won’t dare try to predict the details, except I know I will love it. And that could be tomorrow or it could be ~October, if she doesn’t plan to do the full Super Bowl thing again. Again it could also be in 4 years or even never. I do not actually know anything.

Other interesting things that could happen include releasing the rep vault and we all lose our minds. She could come out as bi. She could get engaged. There’s the election, which I assume she’ll back Harris in some way✅, but I don’t know if he’ll be involved. I do not know any of this actually. It’s all guesses. But my guess have been very good since November so there’s no reason for me to doubt I’m mostly right.

There are a few clues I’ve been watching, some stuff that started in May, that tells me a break up in the near term could happen, and if it does happen, I will let you know what those clues were. And there’re few other things I’m watching for to add to that. But I don’t really see a breakup before October to be likely. Always possible, but unlikely.

[starwarsmum]

Onto the next chapter of Introducing: Mousinette! Finally we see Marinette arrive in Gotham ❤️ there is a panic attack depicted in this chapter. It isn't intense, but it's there

As the Easter break approached, Marinette was snowed under by her tests and commissions. She apologised to Barbara but wasn't able to keep up with their weekly chats. She had a conditional offer for her university of choice and she had to get the appropriate grades. She promised that she would catch up with the other woman as soon as she was free but, for now, she was under more than enough pressure.

Marinette slept for 36 hours straight when the final test was complete, and the final commission boxed and sent to the buyer. When she eventually awoke, she was hungry, bleary and wanted to crawl back into bed to sleep for another 36. Unfortunately, Penny and Jagged had made plans to stop by that day and Marinette had promised to be available and not half-dead for the visit so she had to shower and make herself presentable.

“Lil M! It feels like forever since we saw you last, how's my favourite little rocker?” Jagged's voice boomed as he caught sight of her. She grinned and snuggled into a hug from Penny, making him cry out in mock outrage. “We were just talking to your parents about our plans for your break, Rockette.”

“Oh?” She was only mildly interested in the plans, as she knew her parents had asked her to keep her schedule free to help more in the bakery now that she didn't have the BAC breathing down her neck. “I hope they involve plenty of rest, seeing as I still feel like I haven't slept in a week.”

“Well, there will be plenty of time to sleep on the plane!” Penny said brightly, making Marinette pull away from her sharply. “Ah-ah,” she admonished, shushing Marinette before she could start bombarding them with questions. “Your parents agree that you've more than earned a holiday, which is why you haven't been allowed to take on any new clients, and your parents asked you to keep your schedule clear.”

“We knew you wouldn't do it unless you had another obligation, Marinette,” Tom said mournfully, regretful that they had had to trick their daughter. “We are more than capable of keeping the bakery running without you, and Penny and Jagged offered to take you to see your new university during the trip.”

“I don't even know if I passed yet!” Marinette exclaimed, throwing her hands up. It was only token resistance, she knew that if they had taken the time to work with her parents then there was no way she wasn't going. “How long do I have to pack?”

“Well, the jet leaves in 4 hours-” Marinette cut Jagged off with a screech, launching herself back upstairs without another word. The adults stood around chortling as they waited patiently for her to re-emerge with her suitcase. When she came back down half an hour later, pink suitcase and carry-on in tow, he continued as though there had been no interruption. “-and as we don't have to fly commercial, there'll be plenty of time for you to tell your little friends that you won't be available,” he finished smugly. 

“Maman, Papa, thank you so much,” Marinette squeezed them both tightly, promising to keep them updated while she traveled. They parted tearfully, but Marinette was also excited to see where she might be living in half a year's time. “I can't believe you didn't tell me, I have no idea if I packed everything I'll need.”

“Anything you don't have, we can pick up for you,” Penny reassured her. “Besides, it's only for 2 weeks, and we have a pretty packed schedule ready for you.”

“Wait, does Barbara know?” Marinette asked excitedly. When Penny confirmed that it would be a surprise for her too, Marinette squealed and immediately began planning what she would wear to meet the young woman. Penny eyed her carefully, noting the light flush to her skin and the over-bright sheen to her eyes. She knew Marinette had a good head on her shoulders, but also that she had a tendency to let her heart lead her, which didn't always end well.

Choosing to shelve that problem for later, Penny allowed Marinette to babble excitedly about everything from the architecture she had seen in pictures of Gotham, to the latest red carpet fashions. The nervous excitement kept Marinette bouncing in her seat during the flight, and whenever Penny and Jagged closed their own eyes to get some rest, she pulled out her sketchbook to jot down new ideas. 

When they eventually touched down, it was late evening in Gotham, meaning that Marinette's parents would be getting up soon to start their morning bakery routine. She fired off several messages to confirm that she was safe and sound in Gotham, unsurprised when only her parents messaged back.

They trudged to the Rolling-Stone’s apartment, Marinette yawning and bleary-eyed. The adults promptly sent her to bed, saying they would wake her at a reasonable hour to discuss their next plans. She sleepily demanded that seeing Barbara be a priority, as she was supposed to be having a video call with the woman the following evening anyway. Only once they had agreed, did she allow them to prod her into the room that would be hers for the next 2 weeks.

She was asleep almost before she had fully laid down, Tikki settling into the crook of her neck.

_ _ _

Barbara Gordon was used to long nights, being the main coordinator of the bat-family’s nightly activities. At 32 years old, she had seen her share of horrors and continued wanting to make a difference to their city. She was used to spending her days catching up on some sleep, before assisting the GCPD with cold cases so that she could afford everything she wanted.

When Penny Rolling had contacted her to help out with a budding designer's website, she had been intrigued. She had then proceeded to look for as much information as possible about the girl, not wanting to go into the agreement blind. She hadn't expected to find out about Parisian superheroes as part of her research, but she took it in stride as much as she was able.

Then she had met Marinette and immediately felt a protectiveness that defied logic. The girl was clearly competent, clever and driven, something Barbara appreciated, but there had been an underlying sense of vulnerability, which had ignited motherly instincts she hadn't known she possessed. She often wondered if this was how Bruce felt when he adopted yet another stray vigilante. It certainly explained why the manor was always overrun.

She had been relieved to find out that the ‘Hawkmoth situation’, as Marinette called it, was long resolved, and that she didn't need to worry about her brand new sister being caught up in attacks anymore. She had enough sibling-figures that threw themselves into danger with reckless abandon, thank-you-very-much. 

On this particular evening, the Bat-boys were needling her for information about her sudden acquisition of not 1, not 2 but 3 MDC original pieces. They were green with envy, none of them having been successful at locating Jagged Stone’s now famous designer (because she would not allow them to crack her firewalls, she was the Oracle for a reason) and so they had taken to trying to trick information out of her. 

“C’mon O, you know I've been a Jagged fan since the beginning. Our first date was at one of his concerts! We know she's French, we know he thinks of her as family, but how did you get ahead of us on the waitlist for a commission?”

Barbara snorted, keeping it to herself that she had deliberately asked Marinette to hold off on accepting the commissions the boys had sent her. The girl was strangely accepting of the request, stating something about knowing what it was like to tease a sibling-figure. She refused to elaborate, but Barbara wasn't too concerned - Marinette had a lot of friends, lots of them probably felt like family at this point.

“Can we keep the line clear, Nightwing?” Came Bruce's exasperated voice. “Oracle, how is the situation at the dock progressing?”

“Looks like you should be good to engage, they just swapped a couple of briefcases. I have some decent photos of the exchange, lovely and clear. I doubt this politician expected to have this much scrutiny, he's not even covering that very distinctive mole of his.” Being a corrupt official was bad enough - a sloppy corrupt official? It was like he wanted to be caught. 

A couple of hours later, Barbara signed off of comms, intending to get a better night's sleep before she had her catch up with Marinette the following day. It felt like it had been months, rather than weeks, since she had spoken with the girl, and she missed her. 

When she awoke the next morning, she had a message from Penny, who had apparently landed the day before and wanted to crash the video chat that night. Barbara's two favourite civilians, available on the same evening? Not just a ‘yes’, but a ‘hell yes’. She smiled as she tidied up her living space, knowing that Penny would want to stop for dinner after the call.

She got a response saying that Jagged had other plans that evening, so she found the details for her favourite local takeaway. She was just putting away her work when her phone lit up with messages from Dick. She was about to open them when her doorbell sounded.

After doing a visual and auditory check that it was, in fact, Penny Rolling at her door, she buzzed her up to the apartment. Once bitten, twice shy and all that. So she was instantly on high alert when she heard hushed voices making their way to her door. She grabbed her safety bat from the stand beside the door, and prepared to depress her emergency beacon.

As the door swung open, she leveled her bat at the two women who appeared, which made the smaller one almost drop the boxes she was carrying. Penny cried out in alarm, pushing herself between the two and shouting for calm. After a minute or two’s confusion, everyone had calmed down enough for Barbara to recognize Marinette.

“Well, I guess that means you're surprised?” Penny said into the strained silence. Marinette frowned at her, before dropping in front of Barbara and catching her eye. “I'm sorry Babs, I didn't think bringing Mari would be a problem, I just wanted to do a nice surprise for you-”

“Penny, could you take the boxes to the table and let Jagged know we made it safe?” Marinette interjected, smiling up reassuringly at the older woman. Once Penny gave a jerky nod and went through to the other room, Marinette dropped her voice. “It's okay, Babs, you're okay. Whatever you're seeing right now, it isn't real. Can you feel my hand? It's on your arm right now. Maybe you can remind me what perfume I chose today, I'm so scatterbrained.”

“Y- you smell like strawberries,” Barbara said in a strangled voice. “Strawberries and flour.”

“That's great,” Marinette continued, flashing a beam at the woman. “Can you tell me what you're thinking right now?”

“That I'm a grown woman and I'm having a panic attack,” she bit back a hysterical laugh. “I'm so sorry, I don't- I don't get surprise visitors. The last time someone came by unannounced I ended up in this chair.”

“Oh, my God, Babs, I'm so sorry,” Marinette's voice strained with tears, her comforting hand starting to shake slightly. “I had no idea, or I would have emailed you last night when I landed. Tell me what I can do to help you, please.”

Barbara took several deep breaths and fought to bring her heart rate down. She could hear Penny speaking tearfully to someone on the phone, probably Jagged. She startled again when Penny reappeared in front of her, holding her phone out.

“Babs, are you okay?” Dick's voice came through the line and Barbara started to feel grounded again. She let out a semi-hysterical hiccup and he carried on. “Do you need me to come to you? Or do you want to come here? You'll never guess who showed up here, Babs! Jagged Stone! Did you know Bruce knows him?”

“Dick, you knew that he knows him,” Barbara laughed. She wiped the remaining tears out of her eyes and glanced at Penny. “And let me guess, you're using his phone right now?”

“I totally am,” Dick said gleefully, and Barbara could almost imagine him sitting on the edge of a sofa, his knees bouncing up and down. “ And he said that he can get me an in with his designer! So now you won't be the only one with an MDC original!”

They had a very short conversation before they handed the respective phones back. Penny and Jagged had another quick conversation and they decided it would be better if everyone was together, so Dick was coming to pick the three up.

Marinette immediately began to fret that she hadn't baked enough, eyeing Barbara’s kitchen thoughtfully before deciding she simply didn't have time. “I'll have to make more next time,” she shrugged, making Barbara laugh, which made her beam back at the woman. 

When Dick showed up, he immediately introduced himself to Penny, squealing that he recognised her from Jagged's tour photos. Then he spotted Marinette and did a double take. Barbara could see him eyeballing the black hair/blue eye combo and wondering if it was too late to rescind the offer to take them to dinner.

“Dick, this is Marinette, she's like my French little sister,” Barbara said, beaming up at Marinette. She gave a subdued ‘hello’, no doubt still feeling guilty for sending Barbara into a panic attack. “Penny introduced us when Mari needed help with something, but we decided to stay in touch.”

“It's a pleasure to meet you, Dick, Babs has told me a lot about you. I'm sorry you had to come to get us after we frightened her,” Marinette said, looking down as her feet fidgeted. Barbara and Dick exchanged a look, communicating wordlessly. Barbara felt her heart twang as she rolled towards her.

“Listen, Mari, it's okay. You're a teenager who had no idea what I've been through, because I never told you. And Penny, I assume you forgot because you don't visit often, so I get it. I'm sure it won't happen again,” she ended gently, piling boxes of baked goods onto her lap to help move them to the car. “Now come on, we might as well get back to what I'm sure is a very eventful evening with Jagged Stone.”

They filled the car with mindless chatter, Marinette and Penny talking about things they'd seen in Paris, reminiscing the time Penny had been akumatised in Marinette's bakery, or when Fang had turned into a dragon. Dick kept shooting Barbara incredulous looks, but she only shrugged and asked light questions. She would have to explain it in more detail later, but maybe they'd bring it up at dinner.

As they pulled up to the manor, Marinette's eyes widened visibly. She turned and looked at Dick, looking bewildered at his very casual, almost disheveled looking attire. Penny laughed aloud, nudging Marinette until she closed her mouth with a snap.

[a-casual-kpopfan]

Looks Like Rain.

Previous Part: Behind The Scenes - Haseul

Next Part: ?

A/N: There will few spoilers and easter eggs here for all future fics as this really ends Jinsoul's first phase in the MoonVerse.

~~~~~~

Click

You turn on the light switch to your small apartment. It was a mess, old take-out containers, glass bottles of alcohol on the counter next to the sink. You lock your front door, slipping out of your shoes and bringing a plastic bag with a few bottles of soju over to the table. Not even cleaning up, you pull a bottle out and open it to immediately sip from it.

You pull your phone out of your pocket as you take a seat at the table, seeing you have several missed calls from a certain Jo Haseul.

“Oppa, you got to talk to her.”

“She’s not talking to anyone. I really think she’s going crazy over this.”

“Oppa… She’s locked herself in her room, Sooyoung is trying keep her calm.”

These voicemails were all from a week ago. You were a wreck. Everything has come crashing down on you all in an instant. You requested a Leave of Absence from work, which was granted for 2 months.

You couldn’t bring yourself to stare her in the face.

Jeong Jinsol.

“I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE!”

“LEAVE ME, DON’T EVER TOUCH ME AGAIN!

“GET OUT!”

You believed those were the last words you would ever hear from the woman you love, kicking you out of her life.

*Knock, Knock*

You sluggishly get up and walk over to your front door, opening it revealing a certain silver-haired leader of a 12-member group. She looked at you with a smile, while you felt disgusted and just drank another sip of the soju you have in hand.

You didn’t say a word but turned your back on Haseul and walked towards your living room, leaving Haseul free to enter the mess of an apartment. Haseul walks in and closes the door, going through the hallway and kicking around the trash that’s laying on the floor. “Ugh oppa, don’t you ever clean up?” Haseul starts picking up empty chip bags and cups of ramen off the floor.

You completely dismiss whatever she has said and just took another swig of the bottle of soju. Haseul then puts the trash into the big under the sink in the kitchen and walks over to the couch where your sad ass has taken refuge.

“Why are you here Jo?” You lay the back of your head on the couch, looking at her as tears start running down your face. “I miss her.” Haseul looks at you, taking the bottle out of your hand and placing it on the nearby table. “I miss her too Daewon.” Haseul places her other hand on top of yours.

“I regret not telling her.” Haseul’s voice is toned down much lower than ever, this of course is a hard time to be the leader of the group. “You know if you don’t talk to her before we leave, things will never go back to normal.” The leader sat down next to you, trying to comfort, and hopefully put some motivation to see her.

~~~~~

“WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS WITH HER?” Jinsol yells at you as she enters your apartment, as you are following behind her. “What do you mean babe?” You were growing irritated with how Jinsol is reacting. “Why are you always with Jiwoo.” Jinsol’s voice was lowered, she was not shouting. She was trying to stay calm in this situation, trying to keep herself composed.

“I’m not always with her, Sol. I’m with you almost every day.” You were growing annoyed being questioned by her. “Why can’t you tell me what’s going between the two of you. Jiwoo has been distance with us too, this isn’t a coincidence!” Jinsol is starting to get more suspicious by the moment.

“There’s nothing to tell you babe, I just happened to see Jiwoo.” You put your coat away on the coat rack, proceeding to pass Jinsol in the hall leading to the kitchen. “Can I trust you?” Without hesitation, you answered right away.

“You can trust me.”

~~~~~

“Have you spoken to her?” A voice over the phone asks you about Jinsol. “No… I don’t think I should get near the dorm anytime soon.” You tell this person, very sadly. “Do you want to get a drink tonight?”

You look at your window and see the sun setting down, indicating nightfall is coming. “Sure, I’ll come over.”

“Okay oppa, I’ll see you soon.”

You hang up the phone and got up from your couch, walking to your bedroom to open the closet. It’s hitting once again, everything felt so much emptier than before. It’s been a week, a week that Jinsol took all her things back. A week ago, when Jinsol swore she would never set foot in this apartment again.

You can say that your closet really represents what you feel like. Having lost someone so close, your lover, your best friend, but in the end, you had to do what you had to do. You shake your head to bring some sense to yourself. Trying to not think about the past, trying to not think about the way you lost her.

You put on a jacket, grabbing your wallet and keys on the way out. You receive a text holding details of the new address that you will be heading to.

As you leave your apartment, you look back inside. The lack of photo frames, the endless mess that’s taking up the space inside.

Empty.

Just like you.

~~~~~

You walk up to an apartment, knocking on the door while holding a bag of food and drinks with the other hand. “Who is it?” A familiar cheerful voice can be heard from the other size, you smile as you hear that her voice is still as happy as it could be.

“It’s me Jiwoo.” The door opens to a homey looking Jiwoo.

“You look settled.” Smiling slightly as you see Jiwoo taking the move to a different dorm well. “Come in oppa.” She moves out of the way, letting you in the new dorm. It’s more so a one-bedroom apartment, yet more roomy than your own apartment. Taking in the look of the dorm, there’s still many boxes that have yet to be unpacked.

“Did you call me over to unpack your things?” Looking back at the little peach, but to your surprise, she shook her head. “My assigned manager will come later in the week to help me. I think his name is In-Su?” You shrug and unpack the snacks and soju you brought over.

The two of you sitting at a table in the living room, taking a few shots each and eating little snacks such as chips and roasted nuts. “How’s the new company?” You curiously ask Jiwoo wondering about her wellbeing. “It’s nice, I guess you can say that you’ve been in one agency, you’ve been in all of them. But the CEO… Ree Yong… Kind of a stickler, so into his business.”

Jiwoo continues telling you about the new agency she joined since her relationship with BBC started falling out. “How are you feeling about leaving?” Jiwoo shrugs and leans back a little. “I want to look out for myself, and I’m not leaving the group, it was just a contract dispute.” You shrugged as well as she’s technically not the only one who left.

“How about you oppa?” Jiwoo pours herself another shot of soju, also pouring you one as well. You can hear from the tone of voice that she understands what you’ve been through. “Is unnie still mad?” You just sat there smiling somberly, Jiwoo knew everything that had happened.

The only reason why you had spent so much time with Jiwoo, not telling Jinsol anything was because you were sworn the confidentiality by the new agency she was moving to. Jiwoo asked of you to help her with the move but to keep it a secret from the group until it happens.

“Haseul visited me at my apartment this morning. It doesn’t sound like she’s having any luck with Jinsol either.” Jiwoo can’t do anything other than pout and raise her glass with you. Picking up your glass, you clinked it off Jiwoo’s before the two of you take the shot down.

Meanwhile…

“Unnie, it’s time to eat.” Yerim knocks on the door, opening it to see her unnie, Jinsol still concealed in her bed. “Okay Yerim… I’ll come down later.” Jinsol’s voice sounds broken, a piece of her is missing, you were missing. “Come down soon unnie, you need to eat to be healthy.” Yerim then closes the door and leaves.

Following quickly after, the door quickly opens, causing Jinsol shoot up from laying down. “I said I’ll be-” “Unnie, can we talk?” A tired looking Haseul is confronting the one equally tired Jinsol. “Can I sit?” Jinsol is confused but nods, letting her group leader sit on the bed with her. “Haseul, I-”

Haseul shakes her head and raises her hand. “Just listen to me right now.” Jinsol just stayed silent and stared at Haseul. “Do you know how much of a mess he is right now?” Haseul smiled a little while holding onto Jinsol’s hand. “Well, I can tell you, that the apartment misses you too.” Jinsol snickers a little knowing her ex partner is a real mess.

“Unnie, maybe you should find everything out and talk?” Jinsol looked up to her leader because of course she must be right… Again. Jinsol knew that she had to get some kind of closure, or at least speak to you properly this time.

“I need to talk to him.” Haseul nodded and promptly left the room, leaving Jinsol to do what she needs to do. As expected, Jinsol got out of bed and got dressed. Without a thought in her mind, she leaves with barely presentable sweats, no makeup, only grabbing her bag and jacket.

Sooyoung who happens to be in the living room with her significant other Gungjeun just watches the blonde run down the stairs and immediately out the door. “What was that about?” Gungjeun asks while he and Sooyoung are snacking on chips on the couch. “Bet you a cup of ice cream that it’s Daewon related.” Sooyoung immediately counters with a bet.

“Why do you only make bets when you know you’re going to win.” Gungjeun questions, with Sooyoung give him a pretty smile and tells him happily. “Because nothing will be in between me and my snacks.” Sooyoung says confidently.

~~~~~

Jinsol arrives at your apartment, getting out of an uber. Jinsol was scrambling, feeling flustered, she’s insanely confused of her actions but not as confused of her feelings. She doesn’t know why she’s there, why she’s there to see you. Is to get back together? Is it to clarify why it’s best to break up?

Jinsol breathing heavily, thinking about the last time she was in your apartment.

*Drip*

Jinsol looks up to the sky, it’s starting to get dark. “It really had to rain out of all days?” Jinsol ran towards the apartment, Haseul would totally scold her for not being sensible to bring an umbrella. After taking a deep breath Jinsol enters the lobby still having an extra key you gave her months ago.

In a matter of moments, she’s in front of your door. Jinsol gently knocks on the door still feeling like she should respect your privacy even though she still had your extra key with her. She patiently waits at your door, although one knock turned to another knock. One minute turned to two minutes.

Jinsol knew you would have answered by now, slowly losing all her patience she opened the door with your spare key. “Daewon?” Jinsol called out your name, peeking inside she notices that your shoes aren’t here. “He’s not home?” Jinsol looked around the apartment and damn, it really was a mess.

Jinsol smiles as she remembers all the time that you and she spent, you’ve been in this apartment for years but today, it felt like you’re visiting for the very first time. “I guess I should do something while I wait.” Jinsol tells herself as she takes her shoes off and starts picking up trash all over the floor.

~~~~~

Jinsol has swept the floor, cleaned up around the living room. “Already looking better.” Now Jinsol gazes at her work, keys can be heard from the front door. The door swings open to you and Jiwoo wet from the rain, as she is holding your arm.

“J-Jinsol?” “Oh, unnie when did you get here?”

Jinsol was in shock, you, and Jiwoo? Did it really happen? Two weeks and you were already with someone… You were with Jiwoo. “Jinsol?” Her name, her real name. No more babe, no more Soulie and no more JinJin.

Just Jeong Jinsol.

“Uh… I was just here to…” Jinsol was flustered, she couldn’t think properly. She stared at Jiwoo’s hand around your arm, Jiwoo noticed right away and immediately let’s go of your arm and looked down. “I’m here to return your key.” Jinsol takes the key off her chain and leaves it on the table.

“Wait, Jinsol.” You tried to call her name, but Jinsol rushed out the door, her eyes starting to shine like she’s trying to hold in the tears. “Jiwoo.” Jinsol didn’t bother looking up to Jiwoo. The tone wasn’t cold but more so giving up. Jinsol ran out the door, the tears have come out, the dam has come down.

“Jinsol!” You chased her down the hallway, she reached the elevator, the doors closing before you can call the elevator open. You look back and forth trying to find a way to find her. The end of the hallway, you find the emergency stairs rushing towards them.

Jinsol leaning back on the wall of the elevator, looking up to the ceiling, tears coming down her face. Regretting coming to see you, it should have ended that day when Jinsol left, there was no chance to reconcile and fix things.

You and Jiwoo.

Jinsol should have seen that coming.

The elevator finally makes it to the lobby, the doors open and the tearful blonde inside slowly walks out.  “How could I have been so dumb…” Jinsol couldn’t stop thinking about it, you and Jiwoo being together. The rain is coming down hard although Jinsol didn’t care. She was determined to leave as soon as possible.

“JINSOL!”

Jinsol turns around to see you chasing after her, you didn’t think twice about running through the rain to see the one you care about. “Jinsol, why did you leave?” This new look of concern on your face is noticed by Jinsol, of course knowing you for so many years. “What do you want?!” Jinsol yelled back at you.

“Why did you come?” You searched for answer, she hasn’t seen you in weeks and this is what happens when you two see each other again? “I saw the way she held your arm.” Jinsol looked you in the ear, her red tearful eyes, a look you never seen before. “The way you two were laughing.” You were confused, what did she mean? “How come you couldn’t be there for me like you are for her?” Were you not there for her all the time? You begin to question yourself, when was the last time the two of you went out for a date? When was the last time you had time off from work?

“You were always my priority!” You tried to counter, only wanted to be with Jinsol but work and other things got in the way. “Then why can’t you tell me what’s going on with you and Jiwoo?!” You were quiet, you couldn’t respond to her. “You can’t even answer me that.” With that, Jinsol signalled to a cab that was conveniently come up the street.

“I don’t want to see you ever again.” Jinsol opens the door to the cab seats, and shortly the car drives off before you could react. You were left in the rain, you don’t know what you could have done, what you could have answered. “I should have just told her what happened, whether you were allowed to or not.”

“Oppa!”

You turn around to Jiwoo running with a large umbrella in hand. “You pabo! You could get sick!” Those were the exact same words Jinsol said to you the night you two got together, the night two of you shared your first kiss, the night both of you finally confessed your love for each other.

At that moment it hit you, the tears came out and you couldn’t hold it in anymore. You fell on your knees, Jiwoo panicked, threw the umbrella to the ground, and dropped down to you. She held you, she tried to comfort you, she stayed there for you.

~~~~~

“Are you ready for the article to drop?” The CEO of Jiwoo’s new company asks you and Jiwoo as you’re in an office of a small building in Seoul. “How do you think Orbits will take it Yong?” It’s been about a month since what happened, after that you solely focused on work with Jiwoo. “If the trend of Jiwoo’s popularity keeps rising, I don’t see how this can go poorly.”

Jiwoo seemed nervous, you were sitting next to her, and you grabbed her hand. “It’ll be okay Wooming.” Jiwoo looked at you and smiled, her nervousness went away, and all became well.

In a blink of an eye, the article drops.

“LOONA’s Chuu to leave BBC over lawsuit, opts to open a self owned company.”

“Oh my God, oh my God, it’s out!” Jiwoo jumps up as you, the CEO Ree Yong, and his assistant Byeon In-Su. “Ms. Kim, I must ask you to calm down, I believe this will be a successful campaign.” You just laugh at In-Su’s attempt to calm Jiwoo, the years you’ve known her, there’s no way to calm her down.

Jiwoo still staying panic mode, both Yong and In-Su watching as she’s in a panic, but you finally step in. “Jiwoo, shouldn’t you get ready for the opening celebration?” Jiwoo heard you quite clearly and stopped panicking, took a deep breath, and nodded. Yong nodded at you in thanks for calming the young peachy girl “In-Su please take Ms. Kim down dress and makeup.”

In-Su accepts and heads to the door to open for Jiwoo, before leaving she goes up to and gives you a hug. “I’ll see you at the party.” You hug her back and you nod. Both Jiwoo and In-Su leave, you sit down in a chair, sighing slightly.

“Daewon.” You look over at Yong who’s going through his laptop, over the last month you, Yong, In-Su, and Jiwoo have met quite a few times during the month, Yong even meeting a certain bunny we all know and love. “I need to let you know that the rest of the group will be attending the party.” Rather than telling you that they’re attending, Yong is warning you.

You look down, but back up with a small smile. “Well, it was bound to happen.” You knew you must face it eventually, especially working for Jiwoo instead of BBC now. “Is Heejin still pining?” You joke with Yong, he may have a cold and serious demeanour, but he is quite entertained with the shenanigans that have been going on the past month or so.

“Shouldn’t you prepare for tonight?” Yong reminds you as you notice he has a little smirk. “Should I be worried?” You knew something is up, it’s just the matter of what it is. “Here’s the seating plans.”

Table 1:

Heejin (Of course) – Yong – In-Su – Jiwoo – Daewon (You) – Jinsol – Yerim – Jung – Jungeun – Jae-Sun – Sooyoung – Gungjeun.

Table 2:

Hyunjin – Jin-Ho – Vivi – Haneul – Yeojin – Taesuk – Haseul – Min-Joon – Chaewon – Taeyang – Hyeju – Jiwu.

Your eyes widen, looking up towards Yong in shock. “Yong!” You yell in a panic, but Yong stays calm in his chair and shrugs. “You don’t need to show up you know.” The cold CEO casually says, it would be better if you didn’t attend although you can’t leave Jiwoo on her lonesome.

“Looks like I’m stuck.”

Meanwhile…

“Girls, table seating plan just came in!” Heejin calls out the girls while she’s sitting at her laptop, receiving an email from Yong… Well Yong’s business email. “Since when did you get group related emails ahead of Haseul?” Sooyoung walks in eating a pack of chocolate pocky. “Since I started annoying him with Jiwoo unnie.”

“Oh my God…” Both Heejin and Sooyoung stare at the open email and smirk at each other. “Tonight, is going to be fun unnie.” Heejin giggles while Sooyoung can only smirk while eating her pocky. “I think us being in the same table to watch up front is going to be a treat.” Sooyoung says as she snaps a pocky in half in her mouth.

~~~~~

“So, Jiwoo really did start up her own company.” Jinsol casually says as she’s scrolling through her phone in one of the cars taking the group to Jiwoo’s new company’s building. “Yeah, to think this all started with a lawsuit.” Haseul who is pleasantly surprised that Jiwoo was able to pull this feat.

“Are you okay with attending Sol?” Sooyoung sitting in the back with Gungjeun and Heejin, the only reason why Sooyoung is asking in the first place is because she knows for a fact that Ms. Blondie sitting up front has not seen the seating plan, otherwise she would not even bother with this event.

“Of course, Jiwoo is still my friend and one of our members!” Jinsol tries to reassure the members and member’s S/O that she’s 100% okay with being there, though Jinsol isn’t holding a grudge towards Jiwoo, but a sour taste was left in her mouth every time that Jinsol would think of Jiwoo.

“Of course, Sol, we’re all there to support her.” Min-Joon (Haseul’s partner) who’s driving the car, accepts what Jinsol says and believes that she’s telling the truth. Joon looks in his mirror with Jinsol in the refection, the two smile at each other.

~Flashback~

“Have you spoken to him at all?” Min-Joon whose friends with Daewon back in high school, asks their other companion of being in the chaotic lives of the moon girls, Gungjeun, Sooyoung’s partner. “I haven’t, that day Jinsol came back in the rain, it was scary.”

“I tried calling him, he didn’t pick up.” Joon is now in a panic for his childhood friend, he doesn’t show it on his face, but his actions do. Joon is standing in front of the window, staring into the sky. Haseul is worried for both Jinsol and Daewon, a member and a friend who’s worked with them since the beginning and all went to high school together.

“How do you think Jiwoo is doing?” Gungjeun asks out of curiosity, worried for the missing’s member’s wellbeing. “I don’t think Jiwoo is having a good time either.” Sooyoung frowns as she misses her best friend who isn’t in the dorm anymore.

“We just have to do our best to support Jinsol right now.” Joon says looking back at the table consisting of Haseul, Gungjeun and Sooyoung. As they all agree, nodding towards Min-Joon.

~Present Time~

“We’re about to start.” Daewon enters Jiwoo’s change room, knocking first and getting permission of course. Jiwoo looks in her large vanity mirror, with you in the reflection and smiles. “I’m nervous oppa.” You look into Jiwoo’s eyes through the mirror, and you can see the worry in her eyes.

“It’ll go well Jiwoo; you have nothing to worry about.” You walked up to Jiwoo and put your hand on her shoulder, she smiled and pulled up her hand and rested it on yours. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath and looks up to you. “I hope so.”

*Knock knock*

“Ms. Jiwoo, it’s time to greet the guests.” Yong’s assistant In-Su is standing in the doorframe of the changeroom, you and Jiwoo look at each other and know that there’s no going back now. “Let’s go Ms. Kim?” You playfully put your hand out like you’re going to walk the Queen out to her horse drawn carriage. “Let’s go.” Jiwoo says softly taking your hand in the same action.

As you take Jiwoo out to In-Su, you head to the other direction heading to the main hall where the event is taking place. You pull up your phone to look at her contact.

JinJin <3

You never dared to change her name on your phone, but you thought about the last month.

Was there going to be another chance?

Can she forgive you for what happened?

Will she understand?

Does she still love you?

JinJin <3|

JinJin|

Jin|

Jinsol|

It pained you but you eventually had to do it.

~~~~~

“So, you are alive!” You and Gungjeun shares a little man hug, Joon as well shortly after. “I’m sorry for not picking up your calls or messaging, I was more or less preoccupied.” You look behind the boys to Jiwoo smiling and seeing the other Loona members. Although when looking in the direction of Jiwoo, Jinsol happens to pass by and awkwardly makes eye contact with you.

Your smile falls from a normal one to a hurt one, you friends notice this sudden change in vibe. “It’s okay, we just got to get through this night, and we can go along with our lives.” Joon puts his hand on your shoulder trying to comfort you.

But that’s the thing.

You don’t want to go back to a normal life, you want your chaotic life you had with Jinsol. The hugs and cuddles, the adventures you two had together since kids. A person you spent your whole life with and it’s over.

“Yeah, I guess so.” You just had to accept it. But you were extremely weary of what’s yet to come due to some… Unusual seating plans. “Let’s get seated? I believe us three are at the same table?” You try to change the subject as you dread the upcoming event. The boys agree and all sat down and caught up with each other.

Jiwoo and Jinsol has greeted each other but more so respect that they’re members in the same group, there was still a large amount of tension between the two and the rest of the members really feel it as well. “Is it me or does it feel like the place is much smaller than how it actually is?” Heejin quietly asks Sooyoung, who nods and agrees.

The night went on as it should, but the awkwardness is starting to rise high between Jinsol and Jiwoo. The greetings have ended, both Yong and Jiwoo take the stage of the auditorium in the building, everything is going fine and well… Other than the fact that you and Jinsol are sitting next to each other.

The table is silent, more so for the respect of Jiwoo and Yong going through the opening pleasantries with all the ones who attended.

Once when the opening announcements were over, both Yong and Jiwoo join your table while noticing the awkward tension around here. Servers have appeared and started serving guests their choice of chicken or beef, everyone getting their preferred orders until.

“Sorry ma’am I only have chicken left.” The server apologized to Jinsol as she requested for a beef dish, but it seems like the kitchen miss counted.

“Oh.”

You know that “Oh” that was a disappointed “Oh”, and of course Jinsol, didn’t want to make a big deal out of it and just accepted it. You can tell she was disappointed and felt lost, not knowing what to do.

You looked at your untouched plate and awkwardly tried to talk to Jinsol. “Hey.” Jinsol heard you, but decidedly ignoring you. “Hey.” Jinsol acknowledges that you’re trying to talk to her, but again ignoring you. You roll your eyes as you know Jinsol is giving you the silent treatment, you went ahead to grab her plate.

“Yah! What are you – Oh.” Jinsol watches you giving up your beef plate for her chicken. “Thanks.” Jinsol thanks you but doesn’t look at you, but you know she is thankful that you have done that, otherwise she’ll be complaining for the whole night. While on the other side of the table, Heejin and Sooyoung are watching everything that is happening between the two of you.

“You didn’t have to do that.” Jinsol resentfully said to you, it was uncalled for but hey, she initiated a conversation. “But it seems like you’re happier with that rather than with this.” Jinsol doesn’t want to admit she is happy with your actions. “Whatever.”

You: 1

Jinsol: 0

“At least I stay loyal to my first choice.”

Ouch.

You: 1

Jinsol: 1

You didn’t have a comeback for that, you sort of just sat there in silence eating. You looked around and saw some unfamiliar faces sitting with some members. “Did the other members meet some people?” Jinsol rolled her eyes but decided to continue with the conversation. “The one sitting next to Chaewon, the guy she’s fixing the tie for, that’s Taeyang. A part time arts director at the college, recently hired as a stylist.”

You nod along, you’ve been away from BBC for so long that you haven’t gotten familiar with the new hires. “And this is Jung oppa.” Yerim with her bright smile, shows her partner. “Hello!” Jung, equally as bubbly and bright as Yerim. “Yup, they’re definitely a couple.” You nod respectfully to greet Jung. “And you remember Haseul’s younger brother?” You begin to get more invested in this. “Yeah… Vivi unnie fell for a young guy.” That was little shock for you.

As the dinner went on, Jinsol and you continued talking, it’s gotten less and less awkward. Jinsol had caught you up with everything that’s happened with the members. “What about you… What’s new in life?” Jinsol oddly asks you.

“Well since the debut of the company, I don’t need to comply with an NDA that I signed… About 3 months ago.” You finally dropped the news to Jinsol that you couldn’t before, with the shocking reveal, Jinsol makes eye contact with you for the first time since… That night.

Nothing was said, you continued to eat your meal, Jinsol did the same.

Feeling regretful of what happened, she had no idea about you signing an NDA. Well, that is a supposed reason for being so secretive. “Ah that’s why he’s been with Jiwoo so much, he couldn’t say anything at BBC for what Jiwoo was doing.” The newfound knowledge is hitting Heejin as she and Sooyoung are enjoying watching this drama unfold.

Sooyoung and Heejin clink their wine glasses together, having the time of their life with front row seats of the new and current K-Drama they call “Jinsol and You.”

Dinner has passed, the welcome greetings are all done, it seems to be a casual thing now with ballroom dancing being open to all guests. Jiwoo is out there with Jungeun, Sooyoung and Haseul, Vivi is trying to teach Haneul to properly slow dance while not stepping on her feet, Heejin and Yong are having their drinks at the open bar on the other side of the hall.

Sooyoung’s and Haseul’s partners, Min-Joon and Gungjeun are sitting at the table having their coffee, while you? Sitting where you have been sitting all night. Jinsol? With Yerim and Jung. “You know you’re always in your own little world?” Joon sneaks up behind you with Gungjeun as all, shocking back into reality.

“Yah, what else am I supposed to do?” You try to defend yourself, although very poorly, but both of your friends know you’ve been thinking about something, well someone, all night. “We know you’re dying to have a moment with Jinsol.” Of course, they knew, these are your closes friends from the rest of the group, considering you only found out about half of them tonight.

“Why can’t you approach her?” Gungjeun asks, although Joon gives him a little stare. “Yah, you can’t outright just ask that, this kind of thing takes time.” And here you are, in the middle of them arguing of how you should go about your night. You lay your head down on the table in frustration.

“Excuse me?”

The two men arguing go silent, while you don’t bother to bring your head up. Both Joon and Gungjeun smile and get up from their seats, “Good luck” they say before leaving you. In confusion, you lift your head off the table and turning around behind you.

“Would you care to dance with me?”

Jinsol in her bright red dress, really a different choice for her as to oppose her normal black dresses. Jinsol put her hand out and with a smile on her face, she wanted this dance with you. “Sure” You took Jinsol’s hand in yours, smiling back at her as you get up from your chair. “Shouldn’t I be the one asking you to dance?” You jokingly said.

“You weren’t getting your ass of your chair all night.” Jinsol retorted back, of course she would have the winning comeback. “Yeah, that’s on me.” Your reply making Jinsol giggle.

Both you and Jinsol arrive to the dance floor and proceeded to get in a position to go along in a slow dance, her hands on the back of your neck, yours around her waist, just like the way you two danced with each other many, many times.

The eye contact between you two is electric, the smile on both of your faces is sickening to look at if you hated what couples look like when they’re happy. It was the first time you seen Jinsol smile to you, about you, in months. It was the first time Jinsol felt warm towards you, happy for you just as long.

“I finally understand why the last few months were rough.” Jinsol was the first to break the silence. “It’s not that I didn’t trust you, I was scared what could have happened legally.” Daewon explains to Jinsol, she’s finally understanding everything and nodding along. “With the ending of Queendom and the Flip That promotions, both of us were stressed and tired. I get it.” You can see Jinsol’s eyes tearing up ever so slightly.

“What will you be doing now?” Jinsol asks, you pretend to look deeply in thought to try cheering up Jinsol, which ended up working making her giggle. “I will be working part time for both BBC and Jiwoo’s company for the time being.” You explain to Jinsol your plans as the NDA you signed months ago is now voided with the official opening of the company.

“Then I guess you won’t be coming on tour with us?” Jinsol frowned a little as she can already guess your answer. “I’m sorry Soulie, I have my duties here with Yong and Jiwoo.” Jinsol just nodded and slip her arms from behind your neck to underneath your arms, essentially hugging you with her head resting on your chest.

You bring your arms together around Jinsol, hugging her back. “I miss you oppa.” She quietly says while the two of you are swaying slowly back and forth as the music plays in the background. “I miss you too Soulie.” You rest your cheek on top of Jinsol’s head, facing the same way as she is.

“Do you think it would work out… If we got back together?” Of course, that question was eventually going to be brought up. There was no avoiding it, there was never a subject that bothered you through your life, but being anything that involved Jinsol, it was always something that bothered you.

You kept swaying back and forth with Jinsol, your holds on each other eventually turned to full on hugs. Jinsol can hear your heart beating, how hard it’s beating, the nervousness that’s in you. Jinsol can hear that. You felt her grip around your back tighten up, you knew the lack of an answer is telling Jinsol that it wouldn’t.

“Jinsol.” Jinsol moved her head away from your chest and looks you in the eye. “It’s okay, I know.” Jinsol brings her hand up to your cheek, her smile slowly slips into a frown while you try to keep a smile on your face. “I still love you Soulie.” Little drops of tears start falling from Jinsol’s eyes. “I still love you too.”

“Keep dancing with me?” You ask, trying to keep this moment together while it’s still here. Jinsol nods and places her head back on your chest. You try to hold back the tears, you had to be strong for her, this is the choice you made.

The night went on, the later it gets more guests are departing, as each song play, the two of you continued swaying back and forth in the same spot.

.

.

.

.

.

“Should we stop them?” Sooyoung asks, Haseul shaking her head. “You can head to the van if you’re tired, I think she needs this.” Sooyoung nods and heads to the van outside, Gungjeun going along with him. “You can go, I can keep an eye on them.” Haseul’s partner Min-Joon offers as he pulls a chair next to Haseul.

Haseul lays her head on Joon’s shoulder. “Remember when we were so lost without each other?” Joon smiles slightly, knowing that Haseul ignored his questioned and continued to stay here for her member, no, her sister. “I remember jagi.” he reaches down for Haseul’s hand and almost by instinct, her hand was looking for his until eventually intertwining.

The current song comes to an end, the next song coming up shortly.

Haseul and Joon watch the young broken up couple continue dancing in the middle of the floor.

They were the only ones left on the floor.

~~~~~

It was the next day, you, Yong, In-Su, and Jiwoo take a trip to the airport to see off the other 11 girls to leave for their first world tour.

“Ah!!! Good luck! I’m going to miss you!” You swear you can hear Jiwoo screaming from one end of the airport all the way to the other side. “Yah, Jiwoo, you’re seeing them off, not trying to bust ear drums!” You complain as Jiwoo is possibly breaking everyone else’s eardrums around in the airport.

“Oops, sorry! I’m just going to miss them for the next two months.” Jiwoo pouts as she holds both Heejin and Jungeun in her arms. “Just let them be, I know I’ll miss you too.” Jinsol comes up next to you, understanding what Jinsol is saying, you nod and smile.

“What did you pack?” You turn and face Jinsol who is wearing a corgi themed neck pillow, in all grey sweats and socks and slippers. “Just clothes to sleep in and to go out in, my Switch, toothbrush, washroom essentials…” Jinsol went on and on about her list of things she packed, you smile knowing that Jinsol really grew up knowing how to take care of herself.

“Hey Soulie, I brought you a bag of snacks to take on the plane. I know how picky you are, so I picked out your favourites.” Jinsol smiled and accepted the bag. “Thank you.” Jinsol drops the bag down gently, and proceeds to give you a hug. You take the embrace and hug Jinsol, knowing that it’ll be two months without her presence.

“I’ll call you everyday.” You chuckle at Jinsol’s never ending clinginess, even though you two aren’t together anymore, she’s still your childhood best friend. “I won’t be going anywhere Soulie.” You tell her so she can feel more assured that everything is okay now, things can be made up between you two, but of course.

There’s always going to be that feeling of “what if.”

What if the two of you never broke up?

What if the two of you got back together?

“I’m going now.” You let go of Jinsol and she does the same. She smiles at you before picking up her bags and walk off to the gate with her members. You and Jiwoo start waving to the members a few of the boys who went on tour with them. They’re all looking towards you and Jiwoo waving at them, except for one.

Jinsol.

In a few short moments, everyone disappears into the tunnel.

“It’s going to be a long two months Jiwoo.” You continue staring at the gate, you were going to wait till the plane took off but there seem to be a weight on your shoulders that you can’t get rid of. Jiwoo didn’t say anything because she knows how you feel, seeing Jinsol like this, just making up the night before and only staying as friends.

.

.

.

.

.

“WAIT!!”

You heard a yell out of the tunnel, shocking you, Jiwoo and even the stone-faced Yong and In-Su who are in the distance waiting for you and Jiwoo.

“WAIT!!”

You turn around to see the source of the yell being a Jinsol doing her signature dork run from the tunnel to you, reminding you of the same night she found you alone in the park.

“Jinsol?!” You watch Jinsol run past the flight attendant at the desk and through the gate, although it seemed like Jinsol completely forgot she’s wearing slippers instead of regular shoes which the tip of the slipper gets caught on the ground, causing her trip and fall face flat.

“Omo, Jinsol!” You panic and you run past the lane dividers to a fallen Jinsol. You get down on both your knees, watching Jinsol also gets up on her knees.

In the moment of staring into each other’s eyes, both of you break into laughter.

The first interaction the last two days with her and it’s not awkward.

The first genuinely happy feeling between both of you.

“You’re crazy, you know that?” Amid the laughter, you really did expect Jinsol to be teary eyed and in pain, but it seems that the fall wasn’t that hard.

“I didn’t want to leave feeling any regret.” The laughter ended, Jinsol started holding your hand as she started speaking. “You’re my best friend, always had been and always will even if we’re not together anymore...” You went ahead and held Jinsol’s other hand as well as it felt like the moment. “Jinsol, before you leave, I just wanted to say…”

“I love you.”

You and Jinsol said simultaneously.

The incredible weight taken off your shoulders, Jinsol’s as well. Jinsol then leans in and kisses you on your cheek, just like how you two always did before even before getting together.

Your cheeks began to glow a very flushed red, not caring about how you look, you smile after Jinsol pulls away. “Get up from the dirty floor!” Jiwoo yells in the background, catching both yours and Jinsol’ attention to finally stand up.

“I’ll see you once you get back.” Jinsol nods and smiles. “I’ll see you.” Is all she said to you before slowly walking away that turned into a full run again, but this time inside the tunnel towards the plane. You start waving and this time she turns her head and waves back at you before disappearing inside the tunnel.

“Two months.” You thought to yourself knowing now instead of two long months, it’ll now be in two short months. The feeling of having someone wanting to come back to you really changes how you see everything.

~~~~~

Some time in the future.

“I don’t think this is working.”

[igotanidea]

Clingy - Matt Murdock x reader

Story asked by anon:

Hey, I know it's kinda cliche but could you please write frank(or matt, or poly fratt)/f!reader getting into huge argument, reader is called clingy etc, so she stops giving any kind of attention to frank/matt, with happy ending 🥺❤

Hope you enjoy :)

A/N: There's a little easter egg in this story, marked with (*). I wonder if you will come up with the source of this reference :D

- Hi, Mattie – I opened the door to his apartment and immediately went t hug my boyfriend. Regardless of the fact that he was a bit distant of late I still kept my affectionate attitude towards him. Matt could be … harsh, especially after his night shift, but deep inside I always knew he appreciated my love language. – How was work today? – I embraced him from behind breathing in his signature smell

- Hello, honey – no difference this time as he leaned into my touch, all his body slowly relaxing as my hands move towards his shoulders – same old, same old, you?

-Stressful, not gonna lie about that. But I’m home now with you, so maybe we could have a nice, peaceful evening together?

-I don’t know about the evening – he hedged and turned to face me – but how about I make you dinner instead? We can talk and then….. – I already knew what he was going to say

-  Mattie, please…. You can take one night off. I know you think this whole damn city needs you, but I do to. I need you tonight. Please – I cupped his cheek – please, stay. Don’t make a girl beg. – I smiled sadly.

-As much as I love to hear you beg for me….

- Stop teasing, Murdock. Please, please say yes. – now I grabbed his hand and interlaced our finger to remind him how well they fit together. How comforting and satisfying it will be for him to be with me instead of running the street getting beaten up. – Please? – I pouted and made puppy eyes. He may not have seen them but surely he knew how I was playing.

- Damn it, honey, you can be so convincing at times.  

- Believe me, I’m only getting started.

***

So he stayed with me. We haven’t really had an evening together for weeks now and I was truly going crazy because of the time apart. Sadly, he did not seem to care or at least care in the same way I did. I mean, I knew well enough that his love language was more acts of service which he was showing as Daredevil, but I needed touch. That was the way I was showing affection. Hence after having dinner I just made him lay down with me and embraced him tightly. The light in Hell’s kitchen was slowly dying, most of the people were safe in the houses, the movement and haze slowly coming to halt. That was the moment to bring another part of my plan into life. Gradually, almost inconspicuously I slided my left hand up, moving towards his hair, massaging his scalp, earning  a small groan from him.

- Mattie – I muttered against his chest, fingers of my left hand tracing shapes there – I meant what I said… I need you.

- Do you now? – he shifted his position, grabbing my waist and facing me.

- Not just now. Always.

-I like the sound of that, darling – painfully slowly he climbed up on top of me and pressed his lips on mine with hunger and passion.

I could not hold back a moan. God, how I missed this. His touch, his undivided attention towards me. I didn't even realize how neglected I truly felt for the last couple days. Our kiss was becoming more passionate, Matt slowly moved his mouth to my neck, collarbone and breast.

- You’re breathing has fastened, darling. What is the cause of that? –he smirked, his hot breath on my skin.

- I don’t know – I gasped as his hands moved under my shirt, caressing my ribs and skin just below the bra -  it's not like there’s anyone or anything to turn me on.

- Isn’t it? – he resumed his little kisses and bites, which were definitely going to leave a mark the next today – maybe this no one should try harder than? What do you think, sweetie?

-It’s always worth a shot. But I would suggest picking up the pace – I buried my hands in his messy hair  as Matt started kissing my stomach.

-You are so impatient…..

- Can you blame me? You are the one who left me ….. – suddenly he raised his head, tilting it slightly towards the window as if he heard something. I was less than happy about it and was not going to hide my annoyance – why did you stop? – I whined – come back to me – I reached my hands towards him in best effort to make him resume, but he shook them like an irritating fly.

-Could you not? I’m trying to …. – he hissed

- Matt. Don’t. You promised me.  No Daredevil stuff tonight, remember? I….

- Oh for god’s sake! Someone is in serious danger, why can’t you understand that. Do you really want me to leave someone in need? Is that what you want? If someone ends up dead because you kept me here, would you be able to deal with that?

-I don’t want to ….

- Shit! Why are you so clingy and selfish?! – he jumped up from the bed leaving me both unsatisfied and frozen by the words.

-Clingy? – I repeated - Selfish? - anger was rising inside of me– is that what you really think? That I ask my boyfriend of too much? God! Matt! I just wanted you to be with me. Like really be with me. With both your body and mind, but you always seem to be elsewhere!  

- You don’t understand it. No one does.

- You know what, you are right. I don’t. All this time I was here, dealing with what you doing by night, never saying a single word of complain – I started gathering my things and fixing my clothes. – Tending to your wounds, hugging you when you needed,  giving you comfort…

-Well, I’m not like you! I’m not going to just sit and do nothing while there are bad people there. If you don’t understand it by now, then maybe we should not be together.

Oh, how painful words can be. Like a knife straight to the heart. I opened my mouth, unable to process what he just said to me. Was he breaking up with me? I really thought we were having a moment but apparently it passed. For good. A single tear rolled down my cheek but I quickly wiped it off. Matt has this signature look on his face, when he knew I started crying but said nothing. His whole body and gazeless eyes full of regret when he took a step forward, but I instantly backed off.

- Goodbye, Murdock – I managed to say before sprinting out the door, shutting them behind me. As soon as I was out of his reach I leaned over the entry from without, falling to the ground, sobbing from all the harshness coming from my boyfriend. Or maybe ­ex-boyfriend, since I had no idea where this mess left us.

He knew. He perfectly knew I was crying my heart out on his doorstep and yet he did nothing about it. He went to help some poor soul of hell’s kitchen. I was barely capable of moving and it was already dark outside so with shaking hands I retrieved my phone from the bag and called the only person I could trust with everything that happened, Matt’s superhero alter-ego included.

-Foggy – I sobbed – I need your help. Can you please pick me up from Matt’s?

***

- What happened? – Franklin Nelson aka Foggy, Matt’s and my best friend run the stairs losing his breath somewhere in the middle. Between the call I made and his arrival I managed to calm myself down and was now just staring into the wall, numbness overwhelming my whole body. - Hey, hotshot, what’s the emergency?

- I think Matt and I just broke up.

-Wait, what? No way. I don’t believe that. What exactly went on? Is there any chance you are overreacting? – he crouched next to me, patting my knee in attempted reassurance.

- I never overreact, you know that. I am not like those girls who make a mountain out of a molehill.

-I know – he sighed – but hey I’m trying my best here.

- I know – I sighed gathering myself – sorry, Foggy. That came out way harsher than intended.

- No offence taken. Now, talk to me – he looked me straight into the eyes – What went down?

- He left me.

- What? – Foggy frowned in confusion.

- We were … you know – I waved my hand trying to make it as little awkward as possible  - having a moment and then he just heard some voices or maybe screaming, don’t know, don’t care, and went to do his devil shit.

- Oh, oh, that is bad. A girl should never be left undone.

- Foggy! – I gasped scolding him and hiding my face in hands.

- What?  - he shrugged – it’s universal truth. Now, I believe Matt is in dire need of a good lawyer.

- And why is that?

- Because if you ever decide to press charges for jeopardizing your integrity and destroying a relationship I will be your legal representation - he smiled proudly and I couldn't hold back the tiniest of smiles - As we all know, I am a hell of a good lawyer, so Murdock won’t ever realise what hit him.

- What would I do without you and your infallible sense of humour? – I let out a little laugh

- You would be rooting on the floor outside Matt’s apartment – now, get up before you get sick from the coldness. Let’s get you home. Or maybe you want to stay at my place?

It took me a minute to convince him that I’ll be fine to spend the night at my own. However, since I was dealing with a lawyer, he made me promise I will walk to work with him the next day. It was going to be awkward, since it was Thursday and on Thursdays and Fridays I was always helping Nelson&Murdock in their administration work and papers. Seemed like a long way to weekend.

***

It wasn’t as awkward as I imagined.

It was way worse.

For the entire day Matt was just successfully ignoring me, talking to clients, Karen and Foggy and one time even to the neighbour from across the floor, everyone but me.

So I had no choice but to requite like for like. If there was anything, anything that required Matt’s decision or attention I spoke to him through the other member of the law firm. Foggy was familiar with the situation and he was dealing with it, but Karen was far more impatient and irritated by being used as a messenger between Matt and me.

-Ok, that is enough! – she finally snapped confronting us – what the hell is going on between you two?

- Nothing – Matt spoke first – everything is going on well, isn’t it, honeybee?

- Right – I confirmed crossing arms over chest – perfectly. Just, you know, normal relationship hitting rock bottom due to some particular circumstances.

- Oh my god, did you guys have a fight?

- No – we said in unison.

- We had a um...., a talk  - Matthew explained turning his head away – nothing to worry about. Now, I got to get back to work.

- Yeah, nothing to stress over. I have work to do too. After all, someone I used to know is a workaholic on two utterly different fields so perhaps I should follow the lead – I walked the opposite direction of the room while Matt locked himself in his office.

- Guys … - Karen throw her hands up making greatest, yet completely futile effort to make us come to terms with each other. I wasn’t sure if there were any pieces left to pick.

- It’s fine, Karen, really, don’t worry about it. And by the way I will probably be taking a day off tomorrow, so …

- I almost forgot – Matt emerged from his office – I have some things to take care out of the office tomorrow so you will be on your own. No worries – he looked towards my direction, once again this sad, almost apologising look on his face. 

That bastard heard my every word and outhustled me! I should be mad because of the games he was playing so why was it that I had a feeling he was trying to make it better?

***

Friday passed without any troubles. With Matt out of the office the atmosphere became lighter as after work me, Karen and Foggy went out to Josie’s for a drink. It was their suggestions that now I was probably fresh out-of-relationship (because Karen was smart enough to wrap her head around the situation) I should clear my head and maybe flirt with someone else. I passed hard on the latter and gladly accepted the former. Broken heart needed time to heal. I couldn’t just jump straight forward into a fling. However, even if that was my opinion on the matter, some dudes at the bar had minds of their own.

-I’m going to grab us drinks – I offered standing up from the table and heading towards the bar while Karen and Foggy were playing (Karen) and trying to play (Foggy) billiard.

-Hey, doll – one of the man sitting by the counter – how about I buy you one? Such a pretty face should not be here all by herself – he moved closer. Too close for comfort and I instinctively moved back.

-I’m not alone. I’m with my friends, over there – I glanced towards my companions.

- They see rather busy with each other – the second man came from my other side, so now I was squeezed between them, my heart race fastening significantly – how about we take care of you, pretty one? – he laid a hand on my tight putting some unpleasant pressure on it.

-I can take care of myself – I assured .

-Sure you can, doll. But a man’s attention is always worth it, trust me, you won’t regret hanging out with us.  – ok, now they were definitely too close and sure as hell way to touchy, Foggy has now realized what was going on and was heading my direction but someone else was faster.

- I suggest you leave the girl alone – of course it was Murdock. I wondered why the fate decided to mock me that way.

-And what will you do if we won’t? – the first man eyed Matt up and down – It’s not like you can beat us, blind man.

- You have uneven breathing – Matt spoke calmly not even reffering to the previous sentence – probably some lungs issue. A little pressure in the right place and you will be suffocating. As for you – he directed the other man – that displaced bone in your arm is only waiting to snap it. And trust me, it would be painful. Excruciatingly painful – he put on his signature smirk.

- This man is a freak. Probably a devil himself – if only they knew how close to truth they were. – Let’s get out of here – they rushed through the door.  

- Are you all right? – Matt turned toward me.

- Yes. Thank you, Murdock. – after those couple words we just stood in silence. Matt opened his mouth like he was trying to add something but Foggy chose this moment to finally reach the bar.

-Hey, are we ok here? What was that?

- Nothing – I mumbled – who won the round?

-Karen of course, I am terribly terrible at every sport, this one included.

- Can I join then? – Matt chimed – to even the score.

Foggy hesitated. He was torn and dragged into a fight between his best friends. This must have been hard on him too. Being loyal to both sides of conflict. I decided to be merciful and spare him this dilemma as I nodded my head in agreement.

***

After that little encounter at the bar me and Matt went on radio silence. Weekend passed at the speed of light and in rather lonely atmosphere. Then Monday and Tuesday. I was purposefully trying to avoid any news concerning the devil of hell’s kitchen latest activity but it was hard since he was almost everywhere. I hated myself for that but I was still catching up with Foggy every night to make sure that whatever Matt was doing left him breathing and alive. But that was just it. The rest of the feelings for him…. Well, to be honest, they were still there, but I was hoping time will heal the wound.

Then, something changed on Wednesday. I came back from work with groceries and a bottle of wine ready for a new season of my favourite TV show with a clear plan for the evening and night. Unfortunately it only came to partial fulfilment. I was in the middle of episode three when I heard a knock on my door. At first I got scared. Who on earth could possibly pay me a visit at 10 pm? Should I grab something to protect myself? Like a baseball bat, maybe (*)? Slowly reaching the entrance I peeked through the viewfinder and sighed in a mix of relief and frustration.

-What …. – I began after opening, but I was never mend to finish as a pair of soft, yet a bit swollen lips landed on mine, familiar, calloused hand closing around my waist and pulling me close towards toned and bruised chest. I was taken by surprise and without having a moment to think what I was doing in some crazy reflex I kissed back, my muscle memory making me burry my fingers in Matt’s stoked hair. – What …? – I tried again but he silenced me by putting his index finger on my mouth.

-Shh. Let me speak, please. I am so, so sorry, sweetheart. I called you selfish, but the only egoistic one in this relationship was me. I realised how unfair that was of me. And I missed you.

- You also called me clingy – I reminded.

-Worst mistake of my life. A week without your touch and hugs and your sweetest little kisses. A torture. Way worse than all the pain from my street fights. I was such a fool, darling. Can you forgive me? – Matt put our foreheads together trying to convey to me how sorry he was.

- How can I? – I tried to move away but it only caused him to tighten his grip – How do I know you are not going to do the same thing following week? And then again and again? How do I know we will not be going around in circles all the time? How, Matt? Give me something, anything to hold on to. ­– please, please give me something plausible – I silently begged in my mind.

- I am here, now, right? I’m not leaving you. No daredevil tonight, I swear. Just me and you. Please, you have to believe me. I really do want to make things between us right. Please … - once again, this sad, pleading eyes that always made me melt. How weak was I?

- One chance, Matthew Murdock. One final chance. – my voice broke – Look, I don’t want you to give up something so important to you. That would be selfish. I just need you to promise you’ll be careful. And that you will have some more time for me not as your nurse to tend to your cuts and bruises but also to me as your girlfriend. Is that really too much?

-No – he leaned forward trying to capture my lips once again.

- Promise me – I didn’t let him kiss me. – seriously, Murdock.

- I promise. Cross my heart. Now can I have a kiss?

- No. Since apparently I am too clingy, you're going to have to work to deserve it.

- You are not going to let this go easily, are you?

- Not in a million years. Not get inside – I grabbed his hand and pulled him into the flat – you have so much work to do to earn what you need.

- Why the wait then? – he  pulled me towards him smirking and my heart skipped a beat at all the crazy thoughts and possibilities coming inside my head.  

@pinksirensong

[canyouhearthelight]

Nihilus Rex, Ch. 38: Head in the Sand

Totally lost track of what day it was, this should have been posted yesterday.

There is a huge Easter Egg in here, and I can't wait for the reveal and payoff on it. @baelpenrose and I had a blast with this and the next chapter, just because of that little detail.

“Any updates from the mayor?” I asked, praying that the translation software would pick the right honorific for the person I was speaking to.  After what happened in the church last week, I had buried my head - intentionally - in my water initiatives.  Specifically the ones that I typically couldn’t work with if I was multitasking, due to language barriers.

Again, I was deliberately burying my head in work. It wasn’t anything I was clueless to.

“The mayor did not respond,” Ayanti responded.  Which basically translated to ‘ask forgiveness rather than beg permission’.

“I’ll take it,” I responded as my phone vibrated.  Nils.

I ignored it.

“How far can we push this?” I asked Ayanti. “If we are under tacit permission, assuming we don’t make him look bad?”

She hummed musically. “As far as you have resources, or until his borders run out.”

Immediately, I started tapping keys on a different machine, transferring funds. “Whole village, got it. Four hectares?”

“Three point five.”

“I’ll send enough for five.”

My phone went off again. Nils, again. Ignored. Again.

Laser focus on the issue at hand. “Were you able to see the file about the straws?” I asked.

“Are they ready for consumer?”

I paused and sighed audibly.  Ayanti and I had worked together long enough that I refused to lie to her about things that were life or death to her. “They are in testing. Not ready for consumer release.”

“Can you get us four kay?”

My head snapped up to scowl at my monitor, despite the fact this was a fully voice call.  “Four thousand? Ayanti. How bad is the water situation? Please don’t lie to me… we don’t lie to each other, right?”

The line fell silent for a moment and I took the time to set up the transactions for both the water filters and the straws. Legit filters were coming from the Gates Foundation through WHO and direct shipped to Daravi as a “charitable act” - no matter how large the company, good press and tax writeoffs almost guaranteed they’d never be reported. Plus they came with a steep discount, ordered by a paper-legit company with about ten shells behind it. So, about as legit as any other charity, really.

  I fired off the filters on one machine and paid for them from the other.  However, I held off on firing off the order for the straws.  This would need some finagling, given that they were still in the testing phase. A couple labs, some money to grease palms. But it was blatant bribery, so I wanted to be sure before I pulled the trigger and sent down the labs involved.

I heard the line unmute just long enough to catch Ayanti taking a deep breath and sighing.  

After a glance at a calender and some mental math, I grunted. “Yanti. Is this for monsoon season?”

She grunted wordlessly, but definitely in an affirmative.  Someone could hear her, and she didn’t want to give away what she was doing.  Which told me she was supposed to be mining for MMORPG gold, and this was therefore slacking off.

“I’ll contact them and have all the prototypes sent over.  And any other company working on similar things,” I promised. “I’ll reach out when I have the exact quantity, but it should be far above four kay.”

“Deal.” With that, she disconnected.

Palming my face and rubbing it roughly, I vibrated with contained violence.  Ayanti was in Mumbai, in the slums, and working from an internet cafe.  I had no way of beating the breaks off her supervisor - most likely the owner of the cafe. So I needed to focus on what I could do.

Nine children, you could have stopped it.

I screamed in my head how hard I had tried.  Begged Nils and Gray to send orders to fire higher.  I tried.

A fist was shoved in my mouth. My left hand, trying to keep from screaming where Mama or Baba could hear me. I did what I could, I screamed in my brain.  Digging my nails into my palms, I slapped a hand on my desktop. It forced me to bring my eyes to the monitor.

Four thousand prototype filter straws. Plus the legit water filters.

“Water filters first,” I mumbled, typing even as I dragged myself from my knees to the chair.

My phone went off again.  I didn’t even look at this point.  I just silenced it without a glance.

The email for the legit filters was easiest.  It was the coding to get the prototypes to be shipped that took the longest.  But, an hour later, I sat back with a sheen of satisfying sweat and surety that not four thousand but twelve thousand would be sent to Mumbai. It was only then that I glanced at my phone again.

More Nils.

I wasn’t necessarily avoiding him. At least not by design.  I was sure it looked like I was avoiding him as I tried to claw back some concept of saving people.  But I didn’t know how many the filters and straws would save, so I started stabbing code into the machine to transfer funds to medical research.

At some point, I threw my phone across the room.  And still I stabbed at my keyboard, with such urgency that I had to hot-swap after a time that only could be described as ‘a haze’.

“ELAKSHI!” Mama’s voice broke in some time later. “Open this door RIGHT NOW, or I will take a hammer to it.”

“Mama, I’m working!” I shouted over my shoulder.

“You have been so-called-working for three days! Nils has called the house to confirm you are alive, and I need help with Baba.”

I groaned and stretched my neck.  “I’m walking toward the door!” I shouted.

I did, too. I opened the door to see Mama staring at me in what could only be accusation.

“You stink, you look exhausted, and you clearly need food,” she scolded before walking away.  It was only then that I realized that she had the phone receiver to her ear.

“WAIT!” I cried. “Is that Nils or Mori???”

“Whichever one makes you more guilty. Bathe and think on it, and I might tell you.”

Did I smell that bad?  I sniffed my arm and nearly vomited. Okay, fair.

An hour later, I emerged, drying my hair and completely clean. “Check it out, I still know how to bathe!”

Mama was not impressed, at all. She sniffed. “You stink less.  Sit. Eat.”

“Mama…”

“Nils and Mori called while you were ignoring the world,” she interjected. “And I know you did not eat for three days, because I know how many days you ignored me knocking on your door.  And your phone.”

“It was important,” I insisted, only to be levelled with a dark-eyed glare.

“If it is so important, you need to be alive to carry it forward. Which means you need to care for yourself,” she scowled.  The plate hit the table with a force that I was shocked to see broke neither table nor plate. “Eat. Give me your phone.”

“Mama -”

“Elakshi, I will sever power to this entire building if you do not give me your phone at this second and eat.”

My arm extended stiffly, palm flat, phone offered up like a mango.

She swiped it. “Better. Eat. I will tell Katherine and Nils that you are alive.”

“Katherine!???” I shouted. “Why Katherine!?”

“She called me, personally, asking.”

I shoved my spoon into the food before me. “Goddammit,” I muttered. “Mothers, always meddling.”

“If our children behaved like adults, we would not need to ‘meddle’ as you say,” Mama pitched over her shoulder in a mocking tone. “And I certainly would not need to threaten my youngest if she could only take care of herself like the woman she is and not the child she once was.”

Low blow. “I’m eating, I’m eating,” I conceded, stuffing bland food in my mouth and pointing at it emphatically.

Bringing a plate of her own and setting it down with significantly more care than she had practically thrown mine with, she sat straight and asked in her most prim tone. “And what part of the world are we saving today?”

“Clean water,” I answered. “Charity work.  Monsoons are coming, so they need better resources.”

Mama nodded crisply. “This is a good work. And what part does Nils play in it?”

I stopped mid-bite in confusion. “Nils? He doesn’t have any part in this. It’s one of my independent projects.”

She shook her head and chuckled. “Katherine knew quite a lot for something that doesn’t involve her son.”

“How often do the two of you talk?” I asked in bewilderment.  The confusion was enough to almost completely silence the voices tormenting me.  Almost.

“Twice a week,” she nodded, taking another bite of food and gesturing for me to do the same. “Our children went through the same traumatic experience.”

“You went through the same traumatic experience, and then some.”

“Pah.” She waved the notion away. “Mothers worry, and we worry best together.  Now eat and then either call your young man back, or tell me why you won’t.”

The horror at what we had done mixed sourly with the idea of talking to my mother about relationship issues. “I will message him after I eat,” I promised meekly, choosing the lesser of the two options.

[writeforfandoms]

White Christmas

Find my masterlist

Okay we are all ignoring that this is two weeks late please and thank you

I am dedicating this fic to @insomniamamma who responded so enthusiastically to this idea that I simply had to write it. J was a great help in plotting and figuring out some ways to meld these two very unalike movies. J, darling, you're incredible and thank you so much for your help.

A couple quick notes: yes I use Bing Crosby's White Christmas here. You do not have to have seen the movie but there are a lot of Easter eggs if you have. And when Benny and Will get on stage, you will want to watch this for reference. Trust me.

Warnings: swearing, fluff, Christmas fluff, seriously you're gonna get cavities from this, the team are all menaces, mistletoe!

Frankie Morales x f!reader

This hotel was supposed to be a good thing. A fresh start. A way for him to keep busy but still live. 

It was not supposed to be… this. 

"I'm a damn fool," he growled to himself as he looked at the owners manual for the water heater. "Never should have bought this place." He paused to wipe his brow, glaring. 

This had to be an unmitigated disaster, truly. There was no snow. And the previous owner had assured him that the holiday season was usually the busiest of the year. 

But this year there was no snow on the ground, only a few reservations, and never ending problems. 

The phone started ringing and Frankie swore as he ran back inside to answer it. 

"'Lo?"

"Fish!" 

Frankie nearly sagged at the voice on the other end, his eyes closing briefly. "Pope! It's been a long time, man." 

"I know, I know. Hey, listen. You got an open room? I wanna head up your way for a week or two."

"Uh, sure." Frankie blinked, taken aback. "Yeah, I've got room. Might put you to work though."

Pope just laughed. "Sure thing, Fish. Whatever you say. I'll see you on the 20th."

Frankie hung up after Pope had, looking down at his phone. His shoulders slumped at the thought of his to-do list, which was growing ever larger. Especially when contrasted with his bank account, which was getting smaller by the day. 

He really needed something to change here. 

–

You stretched as you got off the train in Pine Tree, Vermont, taking a deep breath in. The air smelled fresh and clean, and there was none of the traffic noise you associated with the city. 

In short, it was beautiful. 

Another deep breath in and you smiled, gripping the handle of your suitcase. There was someone else on the platform too, which you thought was kind of nice and kind of unusual. It was just the two of you, after all. He was texting when you glanced at him. 

So you nodded to yourself and stepped out of the station proper so you could order an Uber. 

"I thought I was the only person that got off here."

You jumped at the voice and turned to look. The man you'd noticed earlier now stood next to you, a respectful few feet away. 

"Not this time." You gave him a polite smile, shifting your weight. "Are you local?"

"No, I'm out here to visit a friend of mine. You?" He didn't try to get any closer, fortunately. 

"Just visiting." You shrugged. "Thought I'd come up here and play in the snow." 

Except there wasn't any. No snow to be seen at all. 

"Yeah, that's weird. Feels like there should be lots of snow this time of year." He frowned a little. 

"Well, I'll ask one of the locals when I get to my hotel." 

"Where are you staying?" At your openly suspicious look, he hurried to clarify. "My buddy owns a place here, The General Inn."

"Well then, I guess you will be seeing more of me. I'm staying there." 

He grinned, oddly pleased. "Hey, he's actually coming to pick me up, if you wanted to ride with us. Faster than waiting for an Uber way out here." 

You hesitated. You didn't know if he was really being honest or not, after all. So you settled on a shrug, noncommittal. But not offensive. 

"You got any plans while you're here?" He asked instead, letting the subject lie. "Fish hasn't mentioned a whole lot to me, but I also hear he's been busy with the hotel."

"Fish?" Your lips twitched with your amusement. 

"My buddy. His name is Frankie, but Catfish is an old nickname. We've called him that for years." 

"I see." You smiled and shook your head. "No, I didn't really make plans. Figured I'd wing it, really." 

"Sounds fun. I figured I'll help Fish with whatever project he's working on now, make sure he's doing okay, stay a couple weeks. But I'm sure I can make time for you." He winked. 

You chuckled, more amused than anything with the flirting. "We'll see what happens," you said instead of giving him a straight answer. "Is that your friend?" You nodded to the blue pickup truck driving towards the two of you. It was an older model, but still drove well, even with the few dings and dents you could see. 

Your new friend nodded and jogged over to the car, waving. He heaved his duffel bag into the bed of the truck, leaning on the window to talk to the driver. You waited patiently, still trying to decide whether or not this was a good idea. 

And then the driver peeked around his friend to wave to you, and your brother caught in your chest for a moment. Tousled brown curls stuffed under a ball cap, big brown eyes, dark scruff… oh. Okay he was gorgeous. You walked over closer to the two, cautious still but willing to listen at least. 

"This is my friend," the man told you, motioning in the window to his friend. 

"Frankie Morales. I own the General Inn." He held out a hand to you. 

Feeling only slightly silly, you shook his hand through the window and gave him your own name. Recognition lit in his eyes, which made you feel better. 

"Pope says he offered you a ride," Frankie started, and you blinked. 

"Pope?"

"This idiot." Frankie reached over to slap his friend on the shoulder. "Santiago Garcia. But we call him Pope." 

"Oh. Yes, he did, but you certainly don't have to–"

"It's no trouble," Frankie told you, quiet but sincere. "Since we're all going to the same place. I'll even make Pope sit in the middle." 

You ducked your head and grinned, amused and a little charmed. And. Well. He wasn't wrong - you were all going to the same hotel. "Why not," you agreed, lifting your bag into the bed as Santiago had done. 

It was a bit of a tight fit with all three of you in the cab, but it worked. Soft Christmas music came from the speakers in the car, a little staticky in places as Frankie drove. 

The hotel was set out apart from town, and Frankie parked along the side. Honestly, it looked more like a big old house than a hotel, which… probably wasn't that far off. The site had advertised it as an old fashioned bed and breakfast place, with a big barn available for event space rentals. You could see smaller buildings off to the sides and back of the main building, offering plenty of rooms for visitors.

"Come on in," Frankie told you, grabbing your bag before you could. "I'd give you the grand tour but it's honestly not that much." 

"I'd like the tour anyway." You smiled at him. Okay so maybe you were flirting a little bit. He was gorgeous and he only got cuter when he ducked his head, the tops of his ears turning pink. 

"Check in is just inside," he told you, holding the door for you and Santiago both. "I'll show you to your room, if you'd like." 

"Thank you." You had to admit, you were rather charmed by his manners and mannerisms. 

The check in process went quickly, and Frankie insisted on carrying your bag upstairs and to your room. He handed over the key to you and told you to take as long as you wanted, and he'd be at the front desk for a while if you needed anything. 

The room was beautiful, on a corner of the house overlooking a big open lawn space, with the woods beyond that. A bay window was the perfect spot to sit and look outside, the bench seat nicely padded with a folded quilt tucked to the side in case you got cold. 

The rest of the room was equally comfortable - the bed was big and nice and had extra pillows and blankets. The attached bathroom was done simply but nicely. 

Overall, the room felt quite luxurious. You made sure to note that, taking a couple pictures and making sure your bag was out of sight. 

It certainly wouldn't be hard to write a favorable review of this place. 

Tucking your phone and the room key into your pockets, you headed back downstairs, but paused on the bottom step, just out of sight. You could hear Santiago and Frankie talking, and something stopped you from interrupting them. 

"...not what I thought," Frankie was saying, quiet and resigned. "Seems like every time I fix one thing, something else breaks."

"I'll help you get it all fixed up," Santiago offered, quiet to match the mood. "You know I'm not useless with a wrench." 

"That's not why you came out here," Frankie protested, though it was weak. "I can't ask you to, Pope."

"You're not asking, I'm offering. We'll figure out the rest of it, too." 

There was a pause, so you stepped down and walked over to the two with a smile. "My room is very nice and comfortable," you told Frankie before he could ask. "And I would like to take you up on that tour, if it's no trouble?"

Santiago and Frankie exchanged a look, the kind of look between old friends which spoke more than actual words. Then Frankie nodded, stepping away from the desk. 

"Of course," he agreed. "There's a dining area back this way." He started walking and you followed him. There were a couple doors on your way back to the dining area, and at one point you could peek through to a kitchen, but otherwise the place was quiet. The dining area was nice, at least, with a collection of small tables that could be arranged in various ways. 

"Very nice," you murmured, gaze lingering on the decorations. There wasn't a lot, but there were garlands and lights at least. "I read on the website that this place used to be owned by a general?" 

"Yeah, he bought the place after World War 2," Frankie said, leaning back against a wall and crossing his arms over his chest. "His granddaughter took over after he passed, changing the name to honor him. I bought it from her last year." 

You nodded. "Fascinating," you murmured. Now that you looked, you could see that some of the decorations were dated. Some of the furniture too, actually. "It is a very nice place."

His lips twisted in something that you suspected was supposed to be a smile, but he didn't say anything for several moments. "The barn was converted a long time ago to an event space," he said instead. "Haven't had much use for it recently, though." 

"I see." You nodded to yourself, looking around again. "It is nice. Do you have any recommendations for things to do outdoors?"

"There are some good hiking trails," he answered slowly. "Normally I'd also say there's skiing, but, well…" He waved a lazy hand towards the nearest window, which showed plenty of blue sky and not a single bit of snow. 

You smiled. "Hardly your fault the weather isn't cooperating," you assured him. "But the hiking does sound nice. I think I'll take a look outside." 

Frankie nodded, opening a back door for you. "Have fun," he murmured with a little smile. "And let me know if you need anything." 

You nodded to him and stepped outside. The air was crisp and cold, just burning your lungs when you drew in a deep breath. 

It really was gorgeous here. Kind of a shame it was so quiet, though. You hadn't seen another guest yet. 

You spent a while walking around the property, until the sun started to go down and you retreated back inside. Frankie was not at the front desk, so you went up to your room to warm up a bit. 

According to the website, there were restaurants in town that would deliver to the hotel. Special occasions also offered dinner at the hotel for an added fee. So, you could get food delivered, or get an Uber into town. 

Movement out back caught your attention, and you walked over to the window to look down. 

Santiago and Frankie were down there, both of them standing around a grill. Santiago was gesticulating with one hand, fingers tight around the neck of a bottle, while Frankie stood more placidly in front of the grill. 

You smiled a little, watching them. Personally, you thought they were a little crazy for deciding to grill outside in the cold, but hey. Whatever suited them. 

Santiago turned and looked unerringly up at your window. You swallowed. Well. Too late to back away now, he had definitely seen you. Whoops. 

But he merely grinned and waved to you, beckoning you to come downstairs. And when you didn't move fast enough, he waved you down yet again. 

Chuckling softly, you turned away from the window and grabbed a jacket before heading downstairs and out back to join the two. 

"Did you have fun exploring?" Santiago asked as you approached the pair. 

"I did indeed," you murmured, looking between the two of them. Frankie glanced at you with a little smile before focusing on the food again. 

"Sorry about him, he's demanding," Frankie told you, nudging Santiago with one elbow. 

"It's fine. I was just surprised to see you two out here. It's cold." 

"Just grilling these up, then we're heading inside to eat." Santiago eyed you for a moment before he smiled slowly. It was the kind of smile that you instantly associated with mischief. "Say, d'you wanna join us for dinner? We've got plenty." 

"Oh, I don't want to intrude," you started, glancing at Frankie. 

"You won't be." That quiet assurance came from the hotel owner, and he turned a little to smile at you, small and shy but genuine. "It would be our pleasure." 

"Well then." You couldn't resist smiling back. "I'll be happy to join you two. What can I do to help?"

It took a little arguing, but Frankie told you where to find utensils and plates, so you set the table for the three of you. 

Dinner really was quite pleasant. They were good friends, and they included you easily. Especially once they'd each had a beer and relaxed a little. 

You learned that they'd been friends for a long time, even before their days in the army. You learned about their other two friends, Will and Benny. You learned about Santiago's current job. 

And you learned that there were no other guests in the hotel. 

"Guess people don't want to come out here with no snow," Frankie muttered with a bitter twist to his lips. "So it's just us."

"Hm." You glanced at Santiago to see what he thought of that. Because it didn't sit right with you that there were no other guests. Santiago didn't give anything away. "Well, maybe it'll start snowing soon. It usually does." 

Frankie nodded, though he didn't look convinced. 

The rest of dinner was more pleasant, but you could see Santiago thinking. So could Frankie, based on the nudges and significant looks, but that was between them. 

You helped wash up after dinner before excusing yourself up to your room. You needed to shower and write down your notes so far. 

Fortunately there was wifi, and you let your laptop connect and load while you showered. Sitting on your bed, you started typing up notes, outlining everything you'd seen so far. 

Your shower was warm and had good water pressure, which was a blessing. You added that to your notes as you dried off. 

Faint talking caught your attention. Normally, you were not the kind of person to snoop around and eavesdrop. But when people kept doing it where you could hear? Well, you really couldn't help it. 

"...not great," the man said. Santiago, you decided after a moment when the voice got louder. "Yeah, he won't admit it, but it's bad. We gotta help." 

You took a deep breath. You really shouldn't be hearing this. So you got up and finished getting ready for bed, even though you planned to be up and reading for a little while longer. 

But Santiago's words didn't leave you. Sure, he could have been talking about anything… but you were pretty sure he had been talking about Frankie and the hotel. 

The wheels in your mind started turning, even as you finally settled down to sleep. 

The next morning was more of the same - quiet with an undercurrent of tension, especially between Frankie and Santiago. Frankie told you to help yourself to anything in the kitchen. 

You spent the day in town after getting an Uber. The town was quaint, pretty, very oldsey. Everything was decorated, with lights along the trees and wreaths on every light pole. It was all gorgeous, of course. 

But all suspiciously quiet. You would have expected a lot more tourists around in a pretty place like this. 

Honestly, you had no idea the snow was so necessary here. But your suspicions were confirmed after chatting with a couple people as you did a little shopping and exploring. 

There was no snow, so fewer tourists, especially with no other events to draw them in. 

One shopkeeper told you wistfully of days long past, when The General Inn used to have a big event every Christmas Eve. They used to have live performers, he told you. And food and hot drinks. 

The beginnings of a plan settled in your brain, and you thanked the shopkeeper before going on your way again. 

A closer look at the town and a map showed that it was in a good location. Quiet, not too close to a city, but in a good location near a major highway and the train, of course. In other words, it would be easy for people to travel here from nearby. 

You stood for a few moments, looking down the main street, watching a car turn down another street. No snow. Quiet roads. The town had sort of fallen off the map this year, it seemed. 

But maybe… 

You needed to talk to Santaigo, see if he had been talking about what you thought last night. It wasn't like you to get involved, but, well… there was something about this town and the inn and Frankie himself that made you want to help. 

You caught an Uber back to the inn before the sun went down. You had pizza that you could reheat for dinner, that would be good enough for tonight. 

Nobody was at the desk when you came in, and you put your pizza in the fridge. (Which did feel a little odd, but Frankie had told you to make yourself at home and feel free to use the kitchen, so…) 

Tapping on the kitchen window made you jump, and you pressed a hand over your heart as you whirled to look. Santiago grinned at you, waving and then beckoning you to come. You heaved a sigh, glaring weakly at him before you trudged out of the room. 

"You gave me a heart attack," you grumbled as soon as Santiago was in sight. 

"Sorry," he said, sounding not very sorry at all. "Haven't seen you all day, just wanted to make sure everything is good."

You raised one eyebrow at him. "Is that so?"

He didn't falter, just holding your gaze until you gave up. 

"I was in town, checking things out. It's all pretty quiet."

That made him grimace and nod slowly. "Yeah, Fish said the same." 

You hesitated before you decided to just go for it. You doubted you'd get a better opportunity than this. 

"I heard you last night, I think you were on the phone. Telling someone that you had to help." You paused for a moment, watching his eyes go wide. "I presume you mean Frankie. And if you do… I want to help." 

"You… do?" Santiago narrowed his eyes a little at you, clearly sizing you up. 

"I do." You licked your lips, a rush of anxiety flooding your belly. "I know this is unusual, but I feel bad for him. And for this place. It's got a great history, and I would hate to see it go empty. Frankie has been nothing but kind, and has gone above and beyond the duties of the proprietor. So, I'd like to help, however I can." 

Santiago regarded you narrowly for a few of the longest moments of your life before he smiled. "What do you have in mind?" 

You smiled, and the planning began. 

Honestly, it kind of surprised you how quickly everything came together. You'd expected to have to do a ton of work. But as it turned out, two more of Frankie and Santiago's friends were on their way up, and had started pulling some of their own strings. 

And when Santiago let you into the barn, you found a lot of the things you already needed for an event. Sure, some of the equipment was old, but it still worked fine when you tested it out. 

"We have three days," you murmured, tapping your fingers against one of the tables that you and Santiago had set up to test things out. "And we still need to spread the word." 

"My friends are arriving tomorrow morning," Santiago told you. "I can get word around town with the two of them." 

"That's a good start," you agreed with a nod. You had an idea for how to tell more people, but it would involve doing something you'd never done before. You were just hoping this would be worth it. "And… I can help with getting the word out further."

"Yeah? You got an idea?" Santiago raised one eyebrow at you. 

"I do." You swallowed, feeling a little nervous. "I have a travel blog. I could put up a notice on there." 

Santiago blinked. Twice. "Is that why you're here?" He asked, low and a little dangerous. 

"That's why I came here, yes." You lifted your chin. "But that's not why I'm trying to help. Frankie deserves the help - he's been a hell of a lot nicer to me than many other owners or managers have been. Like I told you before. I would hate to see this place fail."

Santiago huffed out a breath. "He won't like it if he finds out," he warned you. "But if you think it will help…"

"I think so. I know I've got readers in this area, within driving distance. Can't hurt to try." 

Santiago nodded. "Alright then. Let me know if you need help with any of that. And in the meantime, I picked up dinner for us." 

You chuckled and nodded. “Sounds good to me.” 

It surprised you a little, how well you got along with the two men, and how easy dinner was between you three. Of course, that only reinforced your decision to help Frankie. He needed it, and he deserved it. 

After dinner, you retreated to your room to work on your new post. You stared at the screen of your laptop, tapping your fingers against the edge of the keyboard. This was one of the harder posts you’d written up in a while. Normal reviews were easy, even the tough ones. 

But this? A call for help, a personal message? Much harder. 

Eventually, though, you decided that was as good as it was going to get and posted it. You went with simple but heartfelt in the end, asking anyone in driving distance who didn’t have plans to come out and give this place a try. 

Hopefully you wouldn’t get too much backlash on this. Hopefully this would be worth it. 

Santiago and Frankie left together the next morning to pick up their friends, and you used the time to work on decorating the barn. 

Honestly, the barn space was a stroke of luck. It was already set up as an event space, after all, and just needed some cleaning and decorating to be back in working order. 

Whoever had owned the place previously had clearly kept all of the Christmas decorations through the years, as there were several bins set aside in a storage closet. Perfect for you to go absolutely nuts. 

Finally, satisfied with your work, you dusted off your hands and nodded. Perfect. 

Okay, the barn was decorated. You’d put up the post last night asking for people to attend. Santiago and Frankie would undoubtedly be back any minute with their two friends.

You still needed supplies for this party, of course. And perhaps it would be a good idea to call some of the local businesses, too… 

You were so busy that you didn’t even notice when the group of men got back, and you didn’t have a chance to be introduced to the two newcomers until everyone sat down to dinner. (Santiago had to find you and drag you out of the barn by the back of your shirt, ignoring your indignant squawking with the ease of long practice.) 

“Guys, this is our new friend,” Santiago introduced, pulling out a chair for you. “These are Will and Benny.”

“Hi.” You waved, a little shy, and took your seat. Next to Frankie, you noticed with some amusement. 

“Nice to meet you.” Will nodded to you, and Benny smiled. 

“So what brought you way out here?” 

You chuckled. “I travel a lot, and I like staying new places. Plus, the history on the website lured me in.” You shrugged, glancing at Frankie. “It’s definitely been one of my better decisions.” 

Next to you, Frankie looked pleased and a bit abashed. Benny looked between the two of you with ill-disguised glee. 

Sensing the imposing teasing, you struck first. “Santiago has been looking forward to you arriving. And I’m pretty sure I heard Frankie say something about putting you all to work. It is nice to see such good friends willing to help out.” 

Fortunately, Santiago seemed to be on your side and helped divert the rest of the conversation to repairs that needed to be done, as well as some veiled references to the Christmas Eve event. 

You were rather hopeful that things would actually go well. 

But hoping didn't make sleep any easier, and your mind refused to slow down enough to let you sleep. Which is how you found yourself with your phone in hand late at night, sitting in the dining room with the lights down low so you didn't bother anyone else. You just had so many thoughts for this event, and for the hotel in general. You liked Frankie, quite a bit. Enough to surprise yourself. And you wanted him to succeed. 

"You're up late."

The soft observation made you jump, your phone slipping from your fingers and clattering to the tabletop. You blinked at Frankie, catching his sheepish smile as he pulled out a chair next to yours. 

"Sorry," he murmured. 

"It's fine. Just startled me. I didn't think anyone else was up." You smiled at him. 

He shrugged. "Got a lot on my mind." 

Your smile turned a little teasing. "Couldn't lull yourself to sleep by counting sheep?" 

Frankie chuckled, leaning back in his seat. "Sheep don't cut it," he admitted. "Actually…" He trailed off, his ears going pink. 

"What?" You leaned in, undeniably curious. 

"My mom always said to count my blessings, instead of sheep." He looked embarrassed, looking down at the table. 

"Count your blessings instead of sheep," you repeated in a murmur, smiling. "I like that. I might try that." 

"Please do. Mamá would be happy to know she's helped someone." His smile was more relaxed this time. 

Silence settled comfortably between you two for a few long moments as you finally tucked your phone away in your pocket. 

"Why are you still up? Something troubling you?" Frankie looked at you with a concerned little frown. 

"Just a lot on my mind," you dismissed casually. "My mind won't slow down enough for sleep." 

"I know the feeling." He was quiet for a moment before he stood. "Sounds like a cocoa problem." 

You followed him into the kitchen, watching as he got out a pan, milk, vanilla, and chocolate. "Looks like you've done this a time or two before," you joked. 

He shot you a bashful smile over his shoulder. "Not as much now," he admitted. "But before… yeah. For myself and my friends." 

You nodded, leaning back against the opposite counter to watch him work. His shoulders shifted under his shirt, broad and drawing your gaze. He really was sweet. And good looking. And tempting. 

Not something you needed to be thinking about, not if you wanted to sleep ever. 

"Here." Sooner than you expected, he handed over a mug. "Hope it helps." 

"Thank you." You took a sip and made a pleased noise. This was good shit (and added another layer to the temptation). "Really, thanks. You didn't need to go to all this trouble for me." 

He shook his head, one big hand curling around his own mug. "I don't mind," he murmured. "I know what it's like, to still be awake even when you want to sleep." 

You smiled at him over the rim of your mug. "And that's when I should be counting my blessings, hm?"

He grinned back at you. "Well, if you're worried and you can't sleep," he agreed easily. 

You hummed your agreement, eyes closing in bliss at your next sip. Just. Damn. "I might beg for cocoa every night now." 

"Any time you want." His smile was small but genuine and so warm. 

"Thank you for this. And for the advice." You returned his smile, something in your chest easing. 

"Any time." His gaze dipped for a moment and he licked his lips before he abruptly turned away to put the pot in the sink and let it to soak. "I'm gonna try and get some shut eye now. I hope you'll do the same." 

"I will," you agreed. "Sleep well, Frankie." 

He nodded to you and stepped out of the kitchen, heading back to his room. You watched him go and then finished your cocoa. 

You did do the dishes before you went upstairs to bed, though. 

When you got pulled into an impromptu breakfast meeting the next morning, you were very pleased to hear that Frankie had had someone book a room for two nights, starting the 24th. Frankie seemed to be baffled but pleased by this, and his friends immediately jumped into doing some repairs and housekeeping. You followed them into one of the guest cabins, taking a look at these rooms while you had a chance. 

These rooms were also nice, but somehow you preferred your room in the main house. 

Santiago pulled you into a meeting with Will and Benny, leaving Frankie in the main house to do his own chores while you all gathered in the barn. 

“What else do we still need?” Santiago asked, looking at you. 

“Most of the actual stuff,” you drawled. “We need refreshments, snacks, things like that. Now we are in luck, there are heated carafes that still work, and a popcorn machine. But we have no other drinks or snacks, and no entertainment.” 

“We should set up karaoke,” Benny offered, grinning in a way that made you very slightly afraid. “Or have music from the speakers. You said there are speakers, right?”

“Yeah, typical set up,” you agreed, eyeing him. Oh you did not like that mischievous look, not one bit. 

"We can do our thing!" Benny turned his slightly manic and amused expression on his brother. 

"No," came the immediate rejection. "Not a chance." 

"What?" You glanced between the two of them, undeniably curious. 

"You'll find out," Benny promised, grinning. "Soon enough." 

"No," Will grumbled. "She won't, because we're not doing it." 

"Just wait." Benny grinned, rubbing his hands together. 

"Ignore them," Santiago told you. "Music is a good idea. What else can we do?"

"Seasonal activities? Have a cookie decorating station, candles, maybe a wreath decorating station…" You trailed off, thinking. 

"Sounds like you've got it in hand," Santiago agreed with a grin. "You just tell us what you need done." 

"Careful, I'll hold you to that." You pulled out your phone to jot down ideas as fast as you could. 

The day zoomed away from you as you gathered supplies and shamelessly ordered the guys around on errands. They took turns helping you and helping Frankie, who had not been kidding about having his friends help with maintenance. 

And you expected everything to continue in this way - industrious and busy but filled with good cheer and hope. 

Except the evening of the 23rd, Frankie cornered you before dinner, a thunderous frown on his face. 

"You run a travel blog?" He asked, hands in loose fists at his sides. 

You swallowed and then lifted your chin. "I do." 

"Is that why you're here?" He demanded, shoulders rising. "To use me, use this place, for your blog?"

"That's why I came," you answered evenly. "But that's not why I'm still here. That's not what I'm doing now." 

"And what are you doing now?" He put his hands on his hips, mistrust writ across his face. 

You swallowed. "I'm trying to help you. Because you need it and I can offer it and there's no reason why I shouldn't. Besides, I…" You paused for a moment, searching his expression, which had shifted slightly more neutral. Very slightly. But it was a start.

"You what?" Frankie demanded, eyes narrowing again. "You're planning to profit off of this regardless?"

You pulled back, stung at the accusation. "What? No! I do not profit from others misfortune." You shook your head and then drew in a deep breath, trying to find that calm you so needed. "I was going to say… I think you're pretty great." 

He blinked, brows lifting and his lips parting a little in surprise. "You… do?"

"I do." You shrugged, finally looking away as your courage failed you. "But it doesn't matter. It's fine. I have some things to do to get ready for tomorrow, excuse me." You slipped past him and walked quickly away, heart hammering in your chest. 

You had known this was a possibility. Santiago had warned you. 

And yet you hadn't thought Frankie would actually be that mad. And, true, there hadn't been any yelling. But that look… you were pretty sure if looks could kill you'd be six feet under right now. 

Sighing, you let yourself into your room. You needed to relax a bit before bed. That's what you needed. That, and a minor miracle to occur and bring a good turnout tomorrow night. 

The morning was jam-packed with last minute preparations. Santiago had sweet-talked a local baker into bringing a bunch of goodies to sell. Will had taken the cider and coffee under control, with Benny running around doing everything else that needed doing. Frankie had been kept busy in the main house waiting for his guests to arrive. (He was up to two check ins, something that thrilled you no small amount.) 

And you? You were double checking the audio and making sure the room stayed warm and festive. You were determined that this was going to work. 

Even if you ended up having to find another place to stay, if Frankie's temper didn't cool. 

"You ready?" Santiago asked, stopping next to you near the front of the barn. Everything looked ready, about as ready as you could make it. 

"I'm ready." You smiled a little at him, nerves too sharp to allow you a full smile. "Are you bringing in Frankie first?"

"Yeah, although Ben says there are already a few people out there waiting to be let in." 

You grinned at that. At least something was going according to plan. "Alright then, you go handle Frankie and I'll help with food." You hurried off before he could protest, taking refuge behind the pastry table. 

But you did have a good view of Frankie's face when Santiago let him in. He looked awed, nearly floored by the changes in the barn, and a slow smile stole across his lips. With the twinkling Christmas lights reflected in his eyes and the stress gone from his posture, he looked… beautiful. 

And then people started arriving behind him, and soon the barn was full of soft music, laughter, and chatting. A half dozen people had shown up so far, five of whom were staying at the inn, but you held out hope that more would come. 

And more did arrive. In groups of two or three, and one bunch of nearly a dozen. It looked like most of the town had arrived, plus some. You could only hope that some of these were your readers, that you'd helped even a little. 

It was a merry gathering, and you didn't even mind that you were more or less working through it. Just seeing Frankie laughing with Santiago and Will was enough for you. This was your good deed for the year. 

And then Benny hopped up onto the makeshift stage with a microphone (where in the world had he gotten that?) and a Cheshire cat grin. 

"Good evening everyone! Thanks for coming, we hope you enjoy, all that good stuff. There's food and drink, and for your entertainment, my brother and I will start us off with some music!" 

"No!" Will yelled, to much laughter and applause. 

"You gotta do it now," Santiago needled, grinning mercilessly. 

"Don't look at me," Frankie laughed when Will turned a reproachful look his way. "I didn't do shit." 

Will dropped his head with a sigh. Then he glared at Santiago. "You watch the drinks," he growled before he turned and stomped away. 

You blinked after him, undeniably curious. Benny had promised that you'd see whatever this was, after all, and you desperately wanted to know. It must be something interesting, for Will to protest so vehemently. 

"Just wait," Santiago said, and you jumped. "This will be good." 

You didn't have long to wait. Will and Benny walked out, each carrying a very large blue feathered fan. Benny had on a matching blue tutu over his pants and an absolutely devious grin. Music started, and you clapped a hand over your mouth as you recognized the song. 

"Sisters" was an unusual choice for the two brothers but their antics lip-syncing to the song left you (and the rest of the crowd) in stitches. Your favorite moment was when Will held the fan up in front of Benny's face, closely followed by Benny whapping Will in the stomach three times in a row with the fan. Even Will was laughing by the end of the song. 

And that seemed to open the floodgates, as soon people were requesting specific songs (mostly Christmas themes but not all) and singing along, although nobody did a performance quite like the brothers. 

Benny had shooed you out from behind the pastry cart, shoving some warm cider in your hands and telling you to go have fun. So you did. Or you started to, standing back from the established groups chatting and singing and laughing. 

"You know," Frankie said quietly from right next to you and very nearly giving you a heart attack, "I haven't thanked you yet." 

"What?" You turned to look at him properly, eyes wide. 

"For all of this. You didn't have to do any of this." He looked down at the floor, scuffing one shoe against the floor. "The guys told me what you did, all of it. I… I'm sorry, for how I acted last night." He glanced at you through his lashes. 

"It's fine," you murmured automatically. "All is forgiven." 

He finally lifted his gaze to yours and your breath caught in your throat. He was smiling, just a little, eyes warm as he looked at you. 

Oh.

"I found your blog," he muttered, shifting his weight but stubbornly holding your gaze. "It looks good. You're very eloquent."

It was your turn to warm and look at the floor. "Thanks," you murmured, clutching your cider. "I appreciate that." 

"Hey," Santiago stopped next to the two of you, grinning broadly. "You need to see this." 

You and Frankie exchanged curious looks before you followed Santiago to the back of the room, to the big barn doors. Santiago hauled one open a few inches, letting in a burst of cold air and an unmistakable flurry of snow. Frankie held out one hand, watching as a few flakes drifted onto his hand. 

"Open the doors," you told Santiago with an excited grin. "People will want to see this." 

Leaving them to open the doors, you ran back to the sound system, switching the song quickly to the most appropriate one you could think of. As Bing Crosby's crooning started, you waved to Benny and pointed excitedly to the back. 

It took only moments for word to go around, and then there was a surge as everyone ran to the back to look out at the snow slowly falling. A cheer went up and then there was more laughter and singing along. 

Somehow you ended up next to Frankie again, tucked close to his side by the press of bodies around you. 

"A little Christmas miracle," you murmured, grinning. 

"Another one." Frankie looked down at you, smiling a little. One of the kids ran past you to get outside, jostling you even closer to Frankie, who took the chance to wrap one arm around your waist. 

"Oh look!" Benny suddenly declared quite loudly from… above you? You and Frankie both looked up to find Benny clinging to the top of one door like a deranged lemur, grinning like a maniac and holding mistletoe above your heads. "Guess you gotta kiss now!" 

Frankie sighed, dropping his head to his chest. But you just laughed, raising one hand to cup his cheek. 

"It is traditional," you murmured, faux-serious, though you couldn't contain your grin. 

"Wouldn't want to deprive Will of killing Ben," Frankie agreed with a wry smile. But the warmth in his eyes held your doubts at bay as he leaned in and kissed you, soft and sweet. For those few moments in time, the rest of the world fell away. 

He pulled back, lights sparkling in his eyes, and you breathed out slowly. 

And then Ben whooped like the lunatic he clearly was, Will started scolding him, and Santiago said something about lovebirds. Frankie's shoulders shook with his laughter. 

"Welcome to the madhouse, you get used to them eventually," he told you, refusing to let go of you. 

"I bet I will." You smiled back at him, ignoring Benny as he half-fell off the door but landed on his feet. You ignored the people still around you and the cold air and everything else, instead choosing to lean in closer and sing quietly along with the last lines of the song. 

"May your days be merry and bright, and may all your Christmases be white." 

[canonicallysoulmates]

Jensen and JDM Gold Panel NJCon 2023

Jared was not able to attend NJCon this weekend so in his place, we get two panels with JDM! I’m personally a big fan of Jeffrey so I’m glad he was able to do the boys this favor and attend the con to do the panels with Jensen. Also, you’re gonna see me use both JDM and Jeffrey interchangeably when referring to him.

The panel starts with Jeffrey saying that they’re trying to get their caffeine going and he mentions that he’s had 3 cokes already, Jensen doesn’t understand how he can drink that much soda when it has so much sugar in it and Jeffrey replies that he hears that every day from Hil and that the day previous he was driving and his daughter, George, who also loves coca-cola told him that Hil said he’s gonna pee rocks if he keeps drinking coke 😂

Jensen says he and Jeffrey still see each other and work on projects together 👀 But they can’t talk about it, and this is when he reveals that he actually got into trouble recently because of something he said about one of his upcoming projects at a con, he doesn’t reveal what it was, obviously, but he does say he got an e-mail basically telling him to shut up. And, JDM, shares that he had spoken to Karl Urban recently, and when he told him he’d be seeing Jensen at this con Karl told him he better talk to Kripke and see what he could say. Which they both say is basically nothing. 

Getting into the questions, the first one is somebody wanting to know if they could say hi to their mom on video. They do, Jensen also makes a Walking Dead pun, Jared would be proud 😆

In several of their projects, there have been SPN easter eggs, how much of that is from the writers and how much of it is from them? 

They say it’s a bit of both. Jensen says he thinks the show is a bit of an institution so a lot of the writers know at least of it. He asks Jeffrey if there were references that he threw in, Jeffrey replies that he threw in a couple in TWD that anytime he can throw in anything, and especially after Jensen did the thing with Lucille he was trying to work in any reference to his boy. So, Negan had a boy for a minute, and he says if you go back to s2 but I assume he meant his second season of being on TWD which would be s8 of that show if you go back and watch it he said it a couple of times and he thinks they kept it in thinking they’d use it but they never did. 

Jensen mentions the salt easter egg from Big Sky. For those that have not seen Big Sky, one of the characters moves into a new home and Jensen’s character gifts them a loaf of bread so they never go hungry, and salt for protection, it’s a very fun little wink about SPN. But originally it was meant to be just the bread, Jensen is the one who asked the prop department for the salt and they ended up keeping it in, and they started also writing in little homages to SPN. He also mentions that he directed an episode of Walker and the writer for that episode was a big fan of SPN so she was writing in a lot of little easter eggs. 

JDM adds that the cool thing is they've been lucky enough to be on shows like SPN, TWD, The Boys which are big shows that are gonna live on much longer than they are which is super cool because he doesn’t think there are a lot of shows that live in that category that are gonna go past the end date of the particular show so they’re lucky, and if they can work in those homages for the fans they will that it’s actually more fun for them. That they’re hoping someone gets the hint and puts them back in the show together. x

Is there anything new this year they would like to try, learn or accomplish? 

Jeffrey would like to try to be home for more than a minute, that it’s been like three years solid of going from show to show. He thought this weekend would be the first weekend he’s had off in forever because he thought the con was next week. 

Jensen would like to do a film! Says he doesn’t do a lot of movies, it’s a lot of series work so he doesn’t have time but right now he has some things for later in the year but he doesn’t have anything imminent, and he has a couple of tempting opportunities lined up. JDM comes in with some honesty saying the thing is that sometimes they’ll read the script and it’s not as good as you want it to be, one of the fans says that it’ll be better cause he’d be in it and he says he appreciates it but a piece of shit is a piece of shit. My man speaks facts. 

Anyways, Jensen says he’d like to do something that’s a bit out of the box, still in the wheelhouse but flexing another muscle. Jeffrey asks him if by out of the box he means stretch it a little bit cause he did a good stretch going from Dean to Soldier Boy. Jensen would also maybe like to do another concert. x

Is there anything they do in their day-to-day life to make themselves laugh?

Jensen says he amuses himself all the time, that it happens sporadically but he can’t recall what it is that he does right now but it reminds him of a story about how Don Rickles was on a date, and across the restaurant was Frank Sinatra and Don went over and asked Frank to do him the favor of going over to his table because his date would love to meet him and he really wants to impress this girl and Frank agreed so he finishes his meal and as he’s leaving the restaurant he stops by Don’s table and says, ‘hey, Don, how you doing? It’s good to see you.’ and Don goes ‘Not now Frank, I’m in the middle of dinner.’ x

How did Jeffrey do the movie Fall? He answers that a couple of years ago, he did a movie called Heist and the same director called him in the middle of the pandemic and asked if he’d appear in the movie Fall, and that’s it. Jensen says that’s a common story, that’s largely how a lot of people in their industry get jobs it’s because they have a relationship with somebody, it is largely getting to work with people who know you and you already have a rapport with and they know they can rely on you. Jeffrey says that’s why it’s important to be a decent person, and Jensen agrees that reputation is important. No disrespect to both of these men, but we all know that’s a lie. x

With their schedules so busy how and who does the prioritizing? They have a team of people what’s called a camp and it consists of people like their lawyers, managers, publicists, their wives. When a project or opportunity comes up, it gets kicked around the whole group to decide if it’s a good thing, if it fits, if it should be done or passed, that it’s all usually carefully crafted. There might be times when you get a call from a director who you worked with on another movie asking if you’d like to be on another of their projects and you say yes cause it’s a good relationship but it usually doesn’t go without getting checked by several pairs of eyes. 

JDM adds that sitting down to talk with their family is also important cause they gotta think about what’s best for them. But, Jensen says they also gotta listen to their gut and what their passionate about, he reveals he got pushback about doing Big Sky but it’s something he wanted to do so they signed off on it but he thinks coming off Soldier Boy they wanted him to do something grander but he was antsy. JDM says they both get antsy when they’re not working, especially when you have years working on the same show when that goes away and that routine is gone- they’re a mess no one wants to be around them including themselves. x

Who do they have to petition to get Jensen on Dancing with the Stars? Jeffrey gets so excited over this, he says he would sign that petition or for Jensen to be on the Masked Singer 😂 

Jensen replies that he can't imagine how depressed he’d be if that’s where his career ended up. That hopefully he’s far away from that ever happening but you never know he might need that career resurrection at some point. Then he realizes he’s being a little too honest, and says that there are very talented people on that show but that he once heard someone say - and he insists he’s not the one who said this - but basically, someone referred to Dancing with the Stars as Dancing with I’ve only heard of them once, and for some reason that stuck with Jensen so he’s gonna stay away from that and stick to dancing in his living room. x

The next two are not questions, it’s a fan who wants to say thank you because they’ve been a fan for a very long time. And one who’s- I’m not sure I think it’s a family member of the fan’s birthday and they wanted to know if they could bring the person on stage and sing them a happy birthday, they can’t but they do wish them a happy birthday. x x

The last question is two-parter, have they watched One Tree Hill? And do they have a guilty pleasure song, movie, or series? Jeffrey loves Vanderpump Rules, it’s the one show he and Hil watch together, and he has never seen one episode of OTH. But the funny thing is he auditioned for the role of Keith Scott in the pilot of that show. 

Jensen has seen a few episodes cause he started dating D when she was on the show. He’s not the target demo for that but he can see the draw. JDM says he was way old for it, he was almost 40. As for guilty pleasures, Jensen says he keeps a few movies on his iPad in case he’s on a plane and he’s bored and wants to watch something, he has a few different categories depending on his mood, but the one that always ends up popping up is Tropic Thunder. x

Jensen and JDM Gold Panel NJCon 2023