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#and not only do i only make 784 a month but unfortunately
tittyinfinity · 7 months
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gotta love living in a world where paying more for a product is unethical because you're wasting extra money they could go into helping others & yourself but also paying less for something is unethical because it definitely means there were labor violations and slavery used in the making of the product. but also the more expensive products were also likely also produced by slave/child/underpaid labor
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entry #1  - Him
Content Warning: suicide, depression and self harm. If you're sensitive to these topics, and you aren't a total masochist about it, maybe you should avoid reading this one.
this is my first entry.
 I want to know if other people feel the same way.  
         is it bad that he still says “kill yourself, look for a reason to” even if I turned a corner, stayed sober, stopped cutting, or had absolutely no reason to feel that way? It’s been since I was 10 that I felt the need to cut, the little voice inside my head saying do it, it’s worth it, you will be at peace, unfortunately I am not as selfish as I thought  and I think of my mom every single fucking time... I don’t really no what reason I had to cut myself at that age, but all I remember was the first time he appeared. the little voice inside my ear. Him.
   I wasn’t really a enjoyable person to be around growing up, always had problems with friends or my weight or just being able to communicate with people in a certain way, my mom used to say I was just quiet, but honestly I was being consoled by that stupid voice in my head
 ‘LIE, CUT, DON’T EAT, YOU WILL FEEL BETTER LISTEN TO ME JOANNE’.
 I don’t know why... but his voice sounded so soothing until you stop listening to him. then he gets violent and aggressive.  
 ‘MAYBE IT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE WORTHLESS AND YOU NEVER FUCKING LISTEN JOANNE
 ugh shut up guy.  
 After I went into high school. He broke loose. I was my own demon for a while, I started getting into things I never did in my life, (drinking smoking snorting fighting getting arrested the whole shebang) but it’s not like I wasn’t enjoying it. I would drink or do drugs with my new friends to forget about what I’ve been through. like turning over a new leaf. but that was toxic. and on a daily basis I would drink smoke cut repeat. day after day it was like an addiction for pain and forgetfulness. After grade 9 summer 2012, he came back. stronger. he knew every weakness of mine, I am him, he is me. he knows everything now. just when I thought he was gone. he came right back.
  I got expelled. sent a girl to the hospital, was arrested, charged. you know it. after that I was sent to counseling but still didn’t go so, I breached my probation, twice. all I remember is that giggle that me and him would do when we would get in trouble do something ridiculous like spray paint the water tower or steal from tip jars and from grocery stores, just stupid shit. I loved the attention and so did he. but he knew my future. and at that time, I didn't. he was up to something. but 16-year-old Joanne, was fucking clueless.
 years are passing by same old shit just a different day and my life got boring so demon left for a while, I stopped cutting got into habits like working ffs. my demon left for a while when it was 2015, when I first met the love of my life, knowing I’m manipulative I did everything in my power to keep him around, sometimes healthy, most of the time not. but eventually that relationship came to came to an end and we lost contact.  but HE came back. angry. and violent, and ready to play. I grabbed whatever drug I had in my cabinet, took it all. drank until I woke up in the middle of a park on the opposite side of the city when I was just drinking by myself at home, got a 15000 loan and spent it on blow Xanax bottles and cases of liquor, I paid last 3 months rent so I could pretty much trash it for 3 months then find another dump to live in. I drank and drove everywhere sometimes I was black out and still was lucky to make it home. but I didn’t care. I’m ready to die. he knows it, and I know it. and on that day in June 1, 2018 we agreed with each other for the first time. he knew everything now to get rid of me. he knew the alcohol would stay he knew I wouldn’t stop he knows I wouldn’t get help.
 ‘Now its time Joanne. now there’s nothing more you have left, you’re 20k in debt, your family hates you your friends tolerate because you have the money, you had the stuff, but where is everybody now? you were meant to die alone. Just fucking do it’
 “Okay”
 After that somebody called the cops on me, they showed up and I was there puking and passed out, only I didnt have any cuts on my arm, pills and cocaine were scattered and mixed together vodka was all over me and I had bleach; unopened, thankfully. Now if that wasn’t rock bottom. Then there is definitely a lot more to come... because I’m still falling.
 got on medication, trazodone mostly, some anti depressants, but I wasn’t allowed to have to many, because I am a substance abuser. I could hear him mocking me from the distant “fucking pussy”. He would say it to make me drink to taunt and every time that happened, I would drink and drive, and guess who has a DUI now. After the meds started kicking in, he fucked off. But I stopped taking my meds right after. Is it bad that I missed him?
 He left and I didn’t hear from him until September 2019. But that’s another story. Thanks for reading.
  my depression will always find a way back. there is no escaping my life. but at least I’m not alone, I have him. he will always be there when you fall, to cradle you in your darkest times, to eagerly make you want  feel the endorphins breaking through your wrist, that feeling you’ve been thriving for, the art painted with a blade that you found in your dads tool box, the tears that you shed of every minute of everyday, the things you go through. he will be right where he needs to be. With you. Always.
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If any of you are going through something and need to talk to somebody or if somebody you know is going through something there are many support services that are here to help.  
IN CANADA:
Canadian Suicide Prevention Service (CSPS): French or English: toll-free 1-833-456-4566 Available 24/7
 Kids Help Phone is Canada’s only 24/7, national support service. We offer professional counselling, information and referrals and volunteer-led, text-based support to young people in both English and French.Whether by phone, text, mobile app or through our website, you can connect with us whenever you want, however you want. KIDS HELP PHONE (20 years or youngers): 1-800-668-6868 (Online or on the Phone)
UNITED STATES:
United States Suicide Prevention Lifelines are available 24/7 Call National Hope Helpline at 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) or in Spanish, 1-888-628-9454.
Center for Mental Health Services (CMHS), of the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), maintains a mental health services locator, which you can use to help find services, facilities and resources in your state. 
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easyweight101 · 7 years
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Sports Research Evening Primrose Review (UPDATED 2017): Don’t Buy Before You Read This!
What is it?
Sports Research Evening Primrose is a women’s health supplement made with cold-pressed evening primrose oil. This product is used to help women with a range of issues such as PMS, breast pain and menopause symptoms.
Sports Research Evening Primrose contains omega 6 and omega 9s, which may have an effect on women’s health concerns. This product is thought to work as it contains a substance called gamma-linoleic acid, which might moderate symptoms like hot flashes and night sweats.
According to our team of experts, Femmetrinol is the most effective herbal solution on the market — providing hormone-balancing relief without the use of harmful HRT treatments. This product is made from herbs like wild yam, damiana, chasteberry and black cohosh — which aim to address the full scope of menopause concerns from libido and vaginal dryness to hot flashes, headaches and night sweats. Click here for full details on using Femmetrinol.
Top Rated Menopause Supplements of 2017
Do you know the Best Menopause Supplements of 2017?
Sports Research Evening Primrose Ingredients and Side Effects
Sports Research Evening Primrose is a plant-based supplement made from soothing herbs and amino acids. Here’s a look at what users can expect in terms of PMS relief, as well as some added benefits:
Evening Primrose Oil: Sourced from the seeds of the evening primrose plant—evening primrose oil is used as a source of essential fatty acids. This ingredient may also be used for a wide range of medicinal purposes such as treating chronic fatigue, diabetes, ADHD, bowel conditions like ulcerative colitis and IBS and more.
Women often use evening primrose oil for treating conditions like PMS, breast pain, endometriosis, hot flashes, night sweats and other symptoms associated with menopause.
The reason it may have an effect on hormone health is, that evening primrose oil contains a substance known as GLA (gamma-linoleic acid), which supports prostaglandin levels.
Prostaglandins have hormone-like qualities and are responsible for a number of tissue-healing functions in the body and may help regulate menopause symptoms.
This oil is also used for cosmetic purposes and can be found in various soaps and lotions. It is thought to help with skin conditions like eczema or allergy-related hives or rash.
Side effects associated with evening primrose oil may include nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, gas, bloating, constipation, cramping and headache.
Additionally, evening primrose may cause anxiety, depression and an altered immune system function.
Click this link for the most up-to-date thinking on using herbs as an alternative to hormone replacement therapy.
EDITOR’S TIP: Combine this supplement with a proven menopause pill such as Femmetrinol for better results.
Sports Research Evening Primrose Quality of Ingredients
Sports Research Evening Primrose contains only evening primrose oil, a plant-based source of essential fatty acids.
Sports Research Evening Primrose does have some side effects, but there’s not much evidence suggesting an adverse reaction is all that widespread.
The side effects outlined above are just something consumers should keep in mind before they purchase, so that they can be on the lookout for any changes in their bodies.
Sports Research Evening Primrose is a well-known menopause remedy and has been in use for a number of years. Many people swear by the use of evening primrose, claiming it’s an effective tool in treating hormonal issues — breast pain, hot flashes, PMS and more.
This may well work, but there isn’t all that much data on evening primrose — for any of its indications — that definitively proves whether or not it yields consistent health benefits.
Read our latest articles on the menopause supplements you can’t live without — click here for details.
The Price and Quality of Sports Research Evening Primrose
Sports Research Evening Primrose may be purchased directly from the official webpage. A single bottle containing 120-capsules retails for $27. The bottle recommends taking one or two capsules per day—so users may feel like they are getting a good value, seeing how the supplement lasts for 2-4 months on average.
Sports Research Evening Primrose may also be found on several other online shopping platforms. iHerb sells this supplement for $17.95—for the same 120-count bottle, while Amazon currently sells it for $16.17.
Between black cohosh and wild yam, isoflavones and evening primrose — here are the herbal menopause products that really work.
Business of Sports Research Evening Primrose
Sports Research Evening Primrose was created by the supplements company, Sports Research. Their contact information can be found below:
Phone: (800) 633-9308
Address: 784 Channel St.
San Pedro, CA 90731
Sports Research Evening Primrose is made by a company known as Sports Research, a company that focuses the bulk of its efforts on making workout supplements that run the gamut from protein to testosterone boosters to weight loss aids.
While evening primrose oil is almost always associated with its use as a menopausal supplement, Sports Research Evening Primrose Oil is marketed more as a source of healthy fats that also provide some women-specific benefits, rather than an all-out menopause support product.
In looking at the site, it’s clear that Sports Research has a loyal following. They sponsor many body builders and athletes, sharing pictures of their partnerships both on the website and on social media channels.
Based on our look at the website, it’s clear that this product is of a high quality—this company has taken the care in making all relevant information easy for consumers to find, and has shared a considerable amount of information about who they are as a company, and what they are all about.
Customer Opinions of Sports Research Evening Primrose Oil
Sports Research Evening Primrose Oil has primarily positive reviews over a wide pool of previous consumers. On Amazon alone, a wide range of users—over 1300—shared their experience using the oil-based supplements. Here’s a quick look at some of the comments:
“This is amazing! I never give reviews, but this product has really helped me a great deal. My skin looks great, I’m losing weight and I’m sleeping much better, I highly recommend this unexpected gem.”
“I have PMDD and as a result, my emotions can be all over the place during a certain time of the month. Evening primrose has evened me out. No more petty irritations, crying fits, I’m just shrugging it all off.”
“I’ve used other Sports Research product with great results, and thought I’d give this one a whirl. Thankfully, I haven’t experienced any negative side effects, but I haven’t seen any benefits either.”
“Was losing sleep because of my hot flashes and night sweats. I’m still having episodes here and there, but I’m overall pretty happy. Plus, it provides some of the same benefits as fish oil, minus the burps.”
Sports Research Evening Primrose is made from an oil that has long been in use by those seeking natural solutions to menopause symptoms.
For all the reviews we came across, there weren’t too many that mentioned menopause or menopause symptoms. Evening primrose has been associated with a number of benefits spanning all ages—but unfortunately, it means we can’t really get a clear picture as to how well this product performs within the menopausal subset.
Learn more about managing vaginal pH, reducing hot flashes and more — click here for our expert guides.
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Conclusion – Does Sports Research Evening Primrose Work?
Sports Research Evening Primrose, based on our research, may be a good product for consumers looking for an alternative to hormone treatments.
Sports Research seems to make high quality products, focused on improving physical fitness — the company has a solid online presence and many partnerships with social media fitness personalities.
While using evening primrose oil as a menopause treatment isn’t all well researched by the modern, mainstream medical community, it’s hard to argue with the centuries of anecdotal evidence standing behind its use.
That being said, a supplement containing only a single ingredient is unlikely to yield the same benefits as a potent solution that brings together a few different ingredients.
Using this supplement to treat menopause may not come with the major payoff consumers are looking for. It may well work to some extent, all the while providing some key health benefits, but we’re not entirely sure how consistent this product performs.
Our recommendation is to talk to a doctor about the best course of action for menopause care. Evening primrose may be worth exploring, but there are other herbs with a more pronounced effect on the female hormones.
Femmetrinol is our experts’ favorite supplement for combatting menopause symptoms like hot flashes, night sweats, vaginal dryness and mood swings. With herbs like black cohosh, chasteberry and wild yam provide the bulk of the hormone-balancing benefits—bring fast and potent relief to consumers looking for a dependable solution.
Femmetrinol was made in an effort to bring quality menopause relief to women without the risk of negative side effects. Quality control experts routinely evaluate the product to ensure users get safe and potent care in every bottle. Click here to find out why Femmetrinol is the secret to a more manageable menopause.
from Easy Weight Loss 101 http://ift.tt/2uv6OMC via The Best Weight Loss Diet In The World
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