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kinetic-elaboration · 4 years

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December 29: The Wrath of Khan

Today’s movie watching was Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.

My overall impression versus TMP is that this is clearly a smoother and more consistently entertaining film. It has a definite story with very little filler, good pacing, a lot of great little dialogue and character moments, and a strong conflict at its center.

But its sci fi bona fides are much weaker. Like by a lot.

Mom and I are talking a bit about Genesis and the more we talk, the weaker it appears to me. First, it’s not really as believable, imo, as a lot of Star Trek. Maybe it’s because it’s not alien based, but I just have a harder time suspending disbelief to think this is possible. Second, it’s not clear why anyone thought this was a good idea. I mean, as McCoy immediately pointed out, it just seems so CLEARLY dangerous: an object meant to foster creation that could so easily be the worst weapon the universe has ever known--nothing could go awry there! Third, the reason for creating such a device isn’t obvious at all. Carol mentions the “growing population” and “food scarcity” but nothing we’ve ever seen of the Federation implies they’re running out of space. Or, frankly (Tarsus IV aside), food. And fourth, there really isn’t any point to Genesis in all its particulars in this film. Like, obviously, its actual purpose is a plot device to resurrect Spock. Within just this film, it doesn’t do anything. Khan wants it, for some reason I’ve already forgotten even though I just saw the film, and he gets it, but I didn’t even notice that happening, because it was so unimportant. His REAL mission is his single minded revenge fantasy on Kirk. Genesis is just a McGuffin/space filler/plot device for the next film.

And honestly that’s not such a big deal, except that when you compare it to TMP, ,and its central idea of a human made probe that gained so much knowledge, doing what we taught it to do, that it became sentient and then started searching for the meaning of life, and how this relates to the search for meaning experienced by the main alien lead, and how his search, in that film and throughout the series, is a mirror for humans and OUR need for purpose... well it just seems really weak. “We made this really dangerous and unrealistic thing for no reason whoops!”

Mom is now criticizing Kirk for being too slow on the uptake when he first encounters the Reliant, which is fair. That’s pretty OOC of him. The idea that he’s too old for space is both one that I must personally disregard, and one that the film would have you discard, since we’ve already heard from TWO characters, the people who know him best, that his best destiny is as a starship captain, and command is his proper role. And that he might be a little rusty is also not a great explanation imo, because the rust was supposed to have come off in TMP. So, plot hole probably.

We were trying to do some math--TMP is at least 2 years post 5YM and TWOK is at least 10 years post TMP, so at least 8 years post TMP. I can understand more rust growing but like... he was already an Admiral in TMP and the idea that he was out of practice with actual command was a big part of his arc there. So it doesn’t seem warranted to do that again.

Also, the way he was commanding poorly in TMP was very IC: he was pushing too hard, trying too much, caring too much about the mission and not enough about...the laws of physics. That’s very Kirk. Being slow on the uptake, caught with his britches down--that’s not Kirk. Plus, with no one to call him out on it, like Decker did in TMP, his poor command doesn’t seem like a big character obstacle to overcome but just like...sloppiness all around.

I thought Khan was over all... just not that interesting. I guess I’m just not into the obsession/revenge plot. Also...idk man he didn’t seem that super to me. He outsmarted Kirk, like, once, and Kirk outsmarted him like 4 times. He tortured some people--but regular humans can do that. He used those sandworm thingies, which is also something humans could do. Overall, he didn’t seem to have any particularly special skills. The only time he really seemed like a worthy adversary for Kirk was when Kirk wasn’t really being IC himself.

I’m also not into the fridging of his wife. Think how much cooler it would have been if she’d still been alive! The only non-super human in the bunch and she’s still there! Ex-Starfleet and bitter!

The K/S in this film is very soothing. Imo they are clearly together here, and the whole film is better if you assume they’re boyfriends and everyone knows. That Vulcan convo that Spock and Saavik have? Waaaaay funnier if you think she’s talking about his boyfriend (”not what I expected....very human” “Well no one’s perfect”). Every time they call each other ‘friend’ like ““friend”“? All the Looks? The birthday gift?

Also the “I have been and always shall be your [friend]” scene is a wedding I will not be taking criticism on this opinion. Could it have been written more like a vow? I think not. It’s not quite This Simple Feeling but it’s the best this film has in that regard.

I liked Saavik and I do think she’s one of the better later-movie additions (though I only like her, as far as I can remember, when played by Kirstie Alley). She didn’t necessarily strike me as super alien, though, at least not at first... But I appreciated how persistent she was about the stupid test, and her regulation quoting. I enjoyed her. I also liked how she was obviously Spock’s protege, which makes her Kirk’s step-protege, and they had just a little bit of that awkward dynamic going on. (”Did you change your hair?”)

The Bones and Kirk relationship was great in this film. You can really feel their friendship and their history with each other. Bones knows him so well and can be honest with him, just when Kirk needs it most.

I also love how Kirk has the SAME conversation with both Bones and Spock (re: being a captain again) but with Spock it’s sooooo much flirtier. In case you weren’t sure what the difference in these two relationships is.

Bonus: this bit of dialogue: Spock: “Be careful, Jim.” / Bones: “WE will.” Lol Spock people who aren’t your boyfriend do exist.

Obviously, I cried during THAT scene. Honestly AOS should have taken note about how to do emotional scenes like that: they come after the main action is over and the villain is defeated. Then they hit at the right time and to the right degree. Kirk just slumping down after Spock dies....like he’s boneless...like he doesn’t know what to do... I CANNOT.

I feel so bad for him that I’ll even forgive him that awful eulogy. Spock died for Genesis? Uh, no, he died for the Enterprise, and for YOU. Spock is the “most human”? You shut your whoreson mouth

I remember hating both Carol and David but I actually hated them less this time, Carol especially. My mom is being really harsh about her, though, which makes me feel less confident in my assessment. I mean first off, she’s the inventor of Genesis, which is a pretty big strike against her. Second...pretty lame to keep Kirk from David. Although I did some vague math and Kirk would only have been about 21, still in the Academy, when David was born, so you can see how that would work out. Also, she distinctly says “Were we together?” which means they were not--this was a fuck buddy arrangement for sure. More complicated. But it still feels weird to retcon that, like, he’s known THIS WHOLE TIME that he’s a dad and we’re only learning about it now, as an audience.

Anyway I’m getting off track. Carol. What to make of her? Is she unstable? Is she still mad at Kirk? My mom points out that she just decided on her own that David would want to join Starfleet if he knew Kirk was his father--whereas what seems to have happened instead is he didn’t just become a civilian scientist like his mom but became her specific protege--working on a project where everyone was probably handpicked by her? I would assume? Also..he hates Starfleet. Not to put everything on the mom, but how did that happen?

Also...going down the rabbit hole of this and feeling awkward about it... but David KNEW Kirk. As “that guy you hung around with.” That means Kirk was in his life for quite a while, long enough for him to have memories, and long enough for those memories to still be with him even into his 20s. But he was never allowed to know who Kirk was. That means Carol’s rule must have been “You can see your son but you can’t tell him who you are” which in some way seems meaner to me than just “please don’t contact us again.” If he was already on his way into space, that could even make sense--”I know you’re not going to be able to be a family with us, so let’s not pretend, let’s make a clean break now.” But that wasn’t what happened!

Anyway whatever not to be HAICG!Kirk about this or anything lol

David is mostly annoying because he’s so anti-Kirk lol. I found him least annoying when he came around to Kirk at the end. Another big strike against him: he wore his sweater tied over his shoulders in such a Preppy manner. I honestly don’t see what about him is supposed to be reminiscent of Kirk.

David/Saavik was definitely happening lol. I wish I could have heard that conversation. It sounds like she told him a lot!!! Not sure why she attached herself to this particular annoying human so fast but I guess she did.

....I think that might be all. The uniforms and general styling were much better than TMP (though less funny/entertaining), and it was certainly an enjoyable overall yarn. A lot to pick apart and critique but in a fun way. Will probably watch The Search for Spock soon.

#the year 2020 #2020: star trek #2020: fandom thoughts #star trek tos

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illfoandillfie · 4 years

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hey! for the tarot cards reading, a love or relationship would be cool! his name starts with D and mine J. He’s a scorpio and i’m a Libra if that matters. We met off Bumble too LOL. thank you and if you can’t do it no worries! 🥺❤️

here you go darl

Tarot: 2 of pentacles, 9 of pentacles, 2 of cups, 9 of cups, 8 of pentacles, queen of swords, 7 of cups, 2 of swords

okay these cards literally made me so fucking angry last night when i pulled them and you’ll see why in a minute, but hopefully in typing this up i’ll figure out what they’re getting at. This first set I drew asking the cards about you and D in a general sense.

(One interesting thing to note before we start is that there is only 1 court card here which later you’ll see that i took to represent you. Which means that D doesn’t really appear in this reading so it’s all very internally focused on you. I will say that the bottom of the jane austen deck when i finished pulling these cards was the king of pentacles (the other bottom deck card was the wheel of fortune) so if we take that king has representing D, that shows that you’re relative equals, of a similar age/experience level and also that this does concern him but it’s still about you.)

So, anyway, let’s start with that 2 of pentacles. It’s a card about balance - weighing up options to make a decision, balancing priorities when your situation changes. It’s being clarified by the 8 of pentacles which represents apprenticeship. Normally the 8 of pents would appear in relation to someone starting a new job or course of study, things like that, but if we look at it in the context of this potential romantic relationship it’s really just saying its a new thing, still in the early days. There’s passion there but the 8 of pents also symbolises high standards and to me, the two cards together are just saying that you’re at a stage where you’re deciding whether or not to pursue this thing. Is he worth it? Is it likely to go somewhere?

Next we have the 9 of wands and the queen of swords. I think the Queen represents you (swords is tied to the air signs and libra is an air sign). She’s the least emotional of the queens, the most logical. She is loving and loyal but only to those she deems worthy. She’s very selective about who she lets get close to her. And she’s clarifying the 9 of wands which represents resilience and taking a stand, strength in adversity. It’s about protecting yourself. And I think these two cards are a bit of a warning to not get too caught up in the newness of it all, the passion and excitement of a new relationship. Don’t rush it, basically. Think things through properly before you move forward and be as sure as you can be that it’s right for you.

Then we have the 2 of cups which, usually, is one of the best cards to get in a romantic reading, second only to The Lovers I’d say. It’s about partnership and connection. Some people see it as an indication of soulmates or twin flames. It’s a really good indication that the relationship can move forward harmoniously and that there will be a deeper connection. But. Here it’s being clarified by the 7 of cups. There are 2 ways to interpret the 7 of cups. The first is about choices and options. There’s 7 cups there you could drink out of. That’s a lot of choice, a lot of potential paths you could take. If you read it in that way then together these cards could be saying that you have other options for a romantic connection. Or he does. Or, the other way to interpret the 7 of cups is to do with fantasy and imagination and daydreaming. Maybe this is all a bit of a pipe dream? Too good to be true? Perhaps this is a warning about imagining what might be before you know where he stands, or about having unrealistic expectations about the relationship. Either way, be cautious. I did also pull a third card to try and clarify these two further this morning (lord knows why i didn’t do that to start) and i got the 7 of swords which on one hand is about deception and trickery, and on the other is about determination. So it didn’t really do a whole lot of clear things up lmao.

(are you starting to see why i was getting annoyed lmao)

Finally, the 9 of pentacles and the 2 of swords. The 9 of pents is a happy card. It’s about receiving the fruits of your labour, being rewarded, feeling accomplished. There’s a sense that you’ve been waiting a while for someone decent to come along and this potential relationship is your reward for that. It’s the universe saying you’ve been patient and now it’s your turn. But the 2 of swords under is another card about decisions and choice so we’re back to where we fucking started. Another 2. More balancing. More decisions. It can also represent a stalemate of sorts, indecision. Maybe you have a feeling that your family or friends wouldnt like him, maybe you’re used to being autonomous and independent and aren’t sure how that will be effected by being in a relationship. Whatever it is, something is being weighed up here, something needs to be decided.

SO, after that I decided to draw a few more tarot cards to try and get an indication of this decision and where the relationship was headed in 2021. This is where i started to get really annoyed lmao

tarot: seven of swords, 3 of cups, 8 of wands, 2 of wands, ace of wands, 7 of wands, king of pentacles

So the 7 of pentacles (wild that i just drew this card as a clarifier but anyway), like i said before, trickery/deception and determination. With the ace of wands under it i’m inclined to lean more towards determination. See, the ace of wands is about creation and willpower and desire. It indicates that there is a spark here, excitement and passion and things are heating up or are on the precipice of doing so. And someone (you or him or both of you) is willing it to go further, for something to come of it. I will say, with the 7 of swords, maybe be wary for any sense that he’s lying about something or even just be wary about what you say because small white lies can become big problems later on. But, I definitely see it as more of a determination thing, that theres a push to move forward with the relationship or at least a desire to.

Next is the 3 of cups which is about community, friendship and celebration. But it’s being clarified by the 7 of wands which is about perseverance and maintaining control. There is some sort of conflict here. With these two cards it might be that an issue would arise with a friend in relation to D. It could also just be a delay of sorts or that one or both of you place boundaries within the relationship that causes some friction. Whatever it is isn’t a deal breaker though because the 7 of wands is also about overcoming challenges so you will get through whatever this conflict is.

And then we have the last 3 cards. The 8 of wands, the 2 of wands and the king of pentacles. Firstly, just want to point out how many wands cards there are. wands are tied to the element of fire which is passionate and full of potential so it’s not a bad thing to see a lot of. Anyway, this 8 and 2 fucking pissed me off. The 8 of wands is about rapid action, quick decisions, fast movement. The 2 of wands is about planning and hesitating and deliberating. The man on the card wants to go out into the world but he’s just standing there thinking about it. They have entirely opposite energies and they both came out together. Then there’s the king of pents. The same king I saw at the bottom of the deck after the first lot of cards. He represents abundance and prosperity and security. He’s an indication of a great partner, someone who is supportive and dependable and generous, though he can be slow to make a commitment. It could be that D is deliberating himself, tossing up whether to suggest taking another step with you or waiting to see if you suggest it first. It definitely feels like he’s stuck between fast and slow though. Maybe he’s thinking about where things could go but doesn’t want to rush them?

Then I drew your oracle cards.

Your love oracle is Bianca Del Rio. She has three pieces of advice which i’ll give you though they might not all resonate.

A unicorn is a horse with extra potential / True love is clearly illegal in most states.../Everyone needs that special someone who can stroke your hair while you cough with your head in the toilet.

The two secret garden cards are:

Move: A rolling stone gathers no moss / Wallflower: Look for the crack in the concrete to find your way out

so again we have that idea of pushing forward

And then the two heart cards are:

Time - You are trying too hard. Give it time. / Wait! - Don’t rush into it. Allow nature to take its course.

So another message about going slow and taking your time and not rushing. honestly what the fuck

finally, i thought that maybe using another deck would give me something to actually work with. So i pulled 6 cards from my Friends themed deck and this is what i got:

9 of wands (again) / ace of pentacles ‘/ 10 of wands / the emperor / the chariot / temperance

the emperor is about perseverance, authority and control so with this under the 9 of wands (which as i said before is about resilience) theres a desire to move forward. Even in the face of a delay or a setback, this person is still pushing to move forward. It might be that one or both of you has experiences setbacks in love in the past and see this potential romance as the end of your trials and the beginning of something real, something better.

The ace of pentacles is another card about new opportunities and new beginnings and the prosperity they bring. The chariot is about control and willpower and moving forward. It’s where you currently are. This relationship is only beginning but theres a desire for it to go further.

And then we have the 10 of wands which is about success but its not an easy success. It’s also a bit of a burden or brings extra responsibility with it. And temperance under is is about patience and moderation and self-control. Theres a need to reduce pressure here, maybe to slow down. Go with the flow for a while and stop worrying about what is coming.

Hopefully all this has been helpful in some way? Honestly while i was drawing cards it just felt like i kept getting the same messages over and over so hopefully it resonates. If you have any specific questions or want me to try and clarify any points here, send me another message and i’ll see what i can tell you!

#this got LONK #i wasnt happy with anything i was drawing tbh #i like things to be more certain that what was coming up #anyway #there you go #card readings

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cristinaarce · 4 years

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START-UP VENTURE. WEEK ONE.

What is working?

- It has been very exciting to see something that was only a “crazy idea” a few months ago, start becoming something real. :)

- I have showed some of my closed family members what I have been planning these months and they are all see it as a very promising venture.

- Every day that I am working on the project I get more confident about the potential success, and I am very hopeful of what the future may bring.

- I have designed and created a few designs for the store, and I am loving them. They are simpler than what I have envisioned, but still its something that I am sure can be sold.

- Since I’ve started developing the initial idea, I have had many other business ideas that could be merged with this one. I am starting to visualize it growing into a something bigger.

What is not working?

- After having such an amazing guideline of all the steps to go through, from detailed information of how to come up with the idea up to the practice of the pitch to the creation of the budget to build up the new business, now I am honestly feeling a little lost without knowing how to do advertising or marketing. I know I need to basically start “putting the name of my brand out there” to be able to find clients or customers, but I have no clue of where to start. (Other than telling my family and friends about it). Some of the questions going inside my head are: What kind of advertising/marketing works and what not? Where is recommended and wise to spend the limited money available and where is considered a waste of time/money? How can I prepare a step-by-step plan and how can put the plan on practice? Do I need to hire someone to do all this for me, or is it something that I can do myself? What kind of skills are required to do it? Do I have those skills? So many questions! Yes, I know that I am probably overthinking it, and honestly freaking out a little bit but I have so many questions about marketing and advertising that I still need to find answers and solutions to them.

I just do not want to make mistakes like these guys did, because I did not know better:

Here are some drawbacks I have also experienced:

- Because of Covid, many suppliers are not open yet, or they are not offering the same products or services that they used to. I have been forced to look for other suppliers that are offering these services currently and leaving the initially selected suppliers for a future plan.

- Another inconvenience I am having is the suppliers available are taking more time than normal to process orders. I have ordered prototypes (samples) a few weeks back but they are still in production, without having a specific timeline for delivery. (Before Covid, their production times were something between 4 to 10 days. Now they are 5-6 weeks!).

- I have also heard shipping times are extremely long at this time.

How do you feel the project is coming?

- I have bought the URL for the website, which makes me super excited. Just by doing that, it made it feel so REAL! As I was buying it, all I could think was “OMG It’s happening! It’s actually happening!” :)

- Tomorrow I will start working on the website (E-commerce) for the store. I have selected the platform I will be using. I already looked into their pricing and features included into each package offered. For the start up, I will be using the most basic package to keep the costs as low as possible.

- I have selected the suppliers I will be using too (even that I have not received the samples just yet). Unless there is a big issue with any of the prototypes, I will use three suppliers. One in Canada, one in United States, and one in China. I’d have loved to use the Canadian one for everything, but their prices are extremely high compared to the other two (even considering the dollar exchange). Since I haven’t received the items, I cannot really know if it will be required to pay additional customs fees at this point. I will make my final decision about the suppliers as soon as I get the samples, compare and evaluate the quality of the products, and the final costs of the goods.

What are you learning about running a business?

- It requires a lot of work to get a retail business off the ground, even if it’s only online at this moment.

- The costs related to starting up are higher than I thought. I had a clear idea of what was needed, but the prices have been going up in the last couple months, so I was a little surprised to the total amount involved to just break even.

- There have been so many unknowns during the Covid season that its teaching me that as a business owner I need to somehow to be prepared and protect myself and the business against circumstances out of my control. As they say, be prepare for the rainy day.

What are you learning about yourself?

I hope not to sound too negative here, but going through this entire process of building a new business from the ground up have made me realize of some qualities that I haven’t realized I had that I am not very proud of but I still know that I can work on them and get better at it. Recognizing the problem is the first step, right? :)

- I tend to overthink when I am not sure of what steps I should follow. (as you can see in the question about marketing lol).

- A very personal one: I am perfectionist and I am having trouble letting things go. Perfectionism is tricky. I may think that I have high standards and I only want to do the best, which sounds great… BUT, it can also keep me from getting things done too. I need to find a balance between those two, so I do not feel frustrated if something is not as perfect as how I imagined.

- Talking about overcome perfectionism, I will have to remind myself about this while I create and design the E-Commerce store for my business, so I won’t be focusing on the tiny little unimportant details, and more on the functionality to make a great user-friendly website.

- As a typical perfectionist, I am always doing everything myself, but for this retail business I realized I will need to learn to delegate tasks to other people otherwise the business won’t grow. As scary as that can may be for a perfectionist person like me, I get pumped of just the idea of having someone else to give me a hand with all the business responsibilities.

So, this is the update of the first week.

I am looking forward to seeing what the next weeks are bringing to this new venture… all those gratifying moments and also the challenges involved. And hopefully that will also bring a few sales too. ;)

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profoundnet · 5 years

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Profound Member Post - November/December 2019

Header by @cryptomoon and is available on merch from her redbubble store. You can use all those fancy emojis (and more!) on our Discord server!

The Masterpost is open for all creations by ProfoundBond members which are posted in their entirety during that month.

MEMBER CONTRIBUTIONS FOR NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2019!

Masterpost below the cut.

JessJessTheBest - @saywhatjessie - JessJessTheBest

Forgot all prayers (of joining you)

Dean had forgotten how real and close emotions were when he was here. When he was this close to Cas. When there was nothing between them but time. He wasn’t saying any of this right. His words weren’t working. He couldn’t make his mouth cooperate. But maybe… Or Dean prays to Cas in purgatory. (s15 e08 coda)

Tags: s15 e08 coda, Dean Winchester prays to Castiel, Mild hurt/comfort

SFW

One Hell of a Pilot

He leaned again to get close to the pilot. “This is a rescue. I’m helping you escape.” He took a deep breath, letting it sink in for just a moment that he said those words. That he was doing this. There was no going back. Or Cas is a reformed Stormtrooper, Dean is a rebel pilot, and this is the story of their escape.

Tags: Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Star Wars: The Force Awakens Spoilers, It's literally just the first 36 minutes of TFA, Poe!Dean, Finn!Cas

SFW

The_Madness_Linked_To_A_Hat - @the-madness-linked-to-a-hat - The_Madness_Linked_To_A_Hat

Happy Holidays Cas

Where Dean and Cas follow a seasonal tradition.

Tags: Mistletoe, first kiss, happy holidays SFW

Isangelousdenim - @isangelousdenim - Isangelousdenim

Wishful Drinking

It started with Dean drinking on a case. It escalated to Dean drinking everywhere.

Tags: TW: Suicidal Thoughts, Violent Thoughts & Alcohol Abuse Character Study, Season 15, Heavy Angst

NSFW

Co-written by: Bumocusal

goldenraeofsun - @goldenraeofsun - goldenraeofsun

Head Down, Walk with Reason

As an omega, Castiel is ineligible for the throne after his father dies. When his uncle takes the crown, Metatron's first order of business is to arrange a betrothal with King John for the hand of his firstborn son, the Crown Prince of Terra.

So Castiel flees. His first night on the run, Castiel stumbles into a band of outlaws just at the border. Injured and wary, he has no choice to stay with them. And although he had planned to return to his own kingdom once it was safe, home might not be the place he left, but instead with Dean, their alpha leader that took him in.

Tags: a/b/o, medieval au, royalty au, omega cas, alpha dean, secret identities, angst with a happy ending, castiel and meg friendship NSFW

MaggieMaybe160 - @maggiemaybe160 - MaggieMaybe160

A Thanksgiving Feast

Dean Winchester's dirty prayer before Thanksgiving dinner leads to some shenanigans under the table. Tags: Food Kink. Top Cas/Bottom Dean.

NSFW

One Night

An accidental one night stand between Castiel and Dean leads to whispered confessions and miscommunications.

Tags: Internalized Homophobia. John Winchester's A+ Parenting. Angst with a happy ending. NSFW

followyourenergy - followyourenergy

Christmas in July

When Dean Winchester follows a service dog who won’t leave him alone, he finds Cas Novak, passed out in a stairwell with a Christmas tree on top of him. A Christmas tree? In July? Who does that? Turns out that Cas does that. And once he gets to know the snarky, independent, handsome man, Dean can’t help but fall for him. A story about being seen.

Tags: Christmas, fluff and angst, pining, blind Castiel, service dogs, snarky Castiel, sweet Dean, falling in love

NSFW

Nickelkeep - @nickelkeep - nickelkeep Pillowfort

Talk to Me Now

It started off simple. An ad on Craig's List: Looking for a Roommate, 700/mo, Utilities included...

Tags: AU - Roommates, idiots to lovers, pranks and practical jokes, misunderstandings, comfortably bisexual dean, queer castiel

NSFW

Stuck in the Middle With You

"Fine." Cas slid his right pointer finger into the trap and almost instantly felt the trap snap around their fingers. "That's not right." Dean looked up at Cas. "What did you do?" Cas attempted to pull his finger out of the trap. "I didn't do anything."

Tags: canonverse, cursed object, idiots to lovers, homophobic language, everyone ships dean/cas, love confessions

NSFW

What I Thought I Knew

Dean rolls his eyes and turns to go back to the kitchen when his eyes lock on a guy across the room. He has dark, messy hair and eyes that cannot possibly be so blue. He stares for a moment, ripping his eyes away only when he realizes the other guy has caught him staring. Dean blushes and rushes back into the kitchen. Tags: AU - Modern, Strangers to Lovers, One-sided Enemies to Lovers, Objectification, Miscommunication, Dub-con Kiss

NSFW

Slice of Your Pie

He pulled up the Casual Encounters section of Craig's List and was surprised to find out how right Gabe was. Many people were offering their services for Thanksgiving company. As he scrolled through the ads, one with an interesting title caught his attention. Alone on Thanksgiving? Want to stop the ‘Why are you still single?’ questions?

Tags: AU - Modern, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Dysfunctional Family, Crush at first sight, pre-Dean/Cas, Homophobic Language, Sexism

NSFW

Shiver

"I wouldn't leave it there. I grabbed the most important things and left." Dean shook his head vehemently. "Are you sure?" Sam's face started to crinkle up in an 'I told you so' expression. "Did you really get everything before you ran and asked to crash with your baby brother and his wife?" Dean glared at Sam. "I don't want to go back. It can't be there."

Tags: AU - Modern with Magic, Witch!Cas, Witch!Dean, Blizzards, Car Accident, Getting Back Together, Angst with a Happy Ending

NSFW

Angel

Overcome by a moment of whimsy, Dean walked down the stairs and stepped into the middle of the yard. He looked towards the sky and closed his eyes, letting the snowflakes gently kiss his skin. Tags: Canon Compliant, Fallen!Cas, Snow Angels, Marriage Proposal, Established Dean/Cas, Short and Sweet

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Chandeliers of Hope

"You seriously Christmas themed our D&D game?" Dean rolled his eyes in disbelief. Charlie walked over and patted Dean on the cheek before taking some of the candlesticks out of Cas' arms. "Of course, I did. You said to write what I wanted, I wrote tonight's campaign. It's a one-shot, and it's going to be a lot of fun, I promise." "Gonna hold you to that, Red." Dean pointed at her accusingly before looking and smiling at Cas. "And I'm going to hold you as an accomplice."

Tags: AU - Roommates, Christmas Party, Characters playing D&D, Recreational Marijuana Use, Alcohol Use, Mistletoe Kiss, Cas/Dean First Kiss, Idiots to Lovers

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A Cold, Dark Winter’s Night

Charlie pulled out a small gift bag and handed it out to everyone. "Secret Santa!" Cas rolled his eyes as Charlie came to stand in front of him, gently shaking the bag. He reached in and pulled out a slip of paper, waiting until Charlie moved to the next person. He flipped it open, and butterflies fluttered in his stomach. Dean.

Tags: AU - Roommates, Christmas Fluff, Idiots in Love, Secret Santa, Everyone Ships Dean/Cas

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Twas The Night

“It’s Christmas Eve!” “Uh, yeah.” Dean got up from his bed and walked down the hallway to Emma’s room and leaned against her doorframe. “You gonna tell me something I don’t know, Kiddo?” “We need to get started!” Emma was sitting on her floor with her back to the door. “It’s Cas’ first Christmas with us, and I want to make sure he enjoys it.”

Tags: AU - Modern, Timestamp, Domestic Dean/Cas, Established Dean/Cas, Christmas Fluff, KidFic, Marriage Proposal

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You Make it Feel Like Christmas

"Well, considering I haven't had a chance to go Christmas shopping. How about you?" Sam zipped up his bag and did a second check around the hotel room. "I already took your bag out to the car." Sam crossed the room to the motel door and headed outside. Dean stood in silence for a moment as Sam closed the door behind him. Shopping, on Christmas Eve?

Tags: Canonverse, Last Minute Christmas Shopping, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Light Angst, Happy Ending

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Auld Lang Syne

"She's cute. You ask her out yet?" Dean stabbed his pie with his fork and shoved another bite into his mouth. "Uh, no. Why?" Dean winked. "Means she's available, right?" "No offense Dean, but you don't have a chance. She has standards." Cas took a sip of his tea and looked at his roommate. "Ouch. You wound me, Cas." Dean rested his elbow on the table and his chin on his knuckles. "Bet you I can get Meg to go to the New Year's Ball with me."

Tags: AU - Modern, New Year's Eve, New Year's Kiss, Oblivious Castiel, Eventual Dean/Cas, Dean/Cas First Kiss

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Leafzelindor - @leafzelindor

Artwork for On The Road Again

Artwork done for the DCBB fic "On the Road again" Tags: destiel, fluff, au

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For On The Road Again by @hekate1308

Artwork for Life is But A Dream

Artwork done for the DCBB fic "Life is but a Dream" Tags: Destiel, AU

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For Life is But A Dream by @crowleyhasfeels

Jdragon122 - @jdragon122 - Jdragon122 Pillowfort

from stardust to stardust

~ from stardust to stardust ~ The art prize for the lovely gii-heylittleangel ;) who won the Destiel Artists United 500 follower giveaway! They asked for Castiel and wings XD my favorite lol. I was happy to comply <3

Tags: N/A

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Jemariel - @jemariel - jemariel

Human Error

Cas is human now, and things aren't going to plan. (Not that Dean had a plan. Nope. No plans of any kind.) Anyway, what's a Winchester to do when everything he tries seems to blow up in his face? Go hunting. Obviously.

Tags: Human!Castiel, Alternate season 9, Casefic, Only One Bed, Mutual pining, Miscommunication, Sex under the influence of alcohol, Canon-typical violence, Wendigo, Injured Cas

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Sarasaurussex - @sarasaurussex - sarasaurussex

Don’t Mess with Dean’s Alpha

Dean and Castiel are enjoying a relaxing night out, until Cas gets hit on by another Omega.

Tags: Omega Dean x Alpha Cas, Possessive Omega, BAMF Dean, Jealousy, Fluff

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The Wendigo

Dean has a lot of baggage from his childhood. Castiel wants to help, if Dean will let him.

Tags: PTSD trauma, parental abuse trauma, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Healing, First Kiss, Confessions

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Destiel Christmas Sweaters, Part I

I had some funny Christmas sweater ideas and couldn't resist dressing up the boys. Dean is not amused. Tags: Destiel, Crack, Humor, Christmas

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Destiel Christmas Sweaters, Part II

More ugly Christmas sweaters for the boys ;D Tags: Destiel, Crack, Humor, Christmas

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Miracle on Lebanon Street

The bunker gets an unexpected visitor on Christmas morning, and it’s not Santa! (Contains Destiel and Sabriel)

Tags: Ugly Christmas Sweaters, White Christmas, Gift Giving, Christmas Feast (it’s pie), Mistletoe, Fluff SFW

vaudelin - @vaudelin - vaudelin Pillowfort

of mundane things

“You never told us,” Dean hisses, during a muted conversation carried in the protective depths of the kitchen. “You got hitched to a djinn? Since when?” “I did tell you,” Cas growls back. He slams on the faucet, filling the glass with vigor. “It’s not my fault you weren’t listening.”

Tags: Alternate Season/Series 14, dream walking, Dean in Castiel's Dream, Getting Together

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a tale that can’t be told

Black leather and oil scent the air around him, a welcome change from antiseptics. Impala, Castiel thinks. Baby. Except he’s not allowed to call her that. A flash of brown panelling slides through his memory, rattling on a rusted truck bed with wood for bed rails. Outside the car, the brothers are quietly arguing. Castiel cranes to listen, but he only picks out a partial phrase from Sam: Since when was he losing his powers? The snippet from Dean is even more troubling: Is Chuck fucking with us by giving him a factory reset?

Tags: Alternate Season/Series 15, Castiel Losing His Powers, Human Castiel, Memory Loss, Dean's Top 13 Zepp Traxx Mixtape, Castiel's Missing Brown Truck, Getting Together, Sharing a Bed, Hopeful Ending

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low voices in the library (are appreciated)

Sam moved, though in which direction Dean couldn’t yet tell. Not the library, Dean mentally begged. He didn’t want to deal with the scene Sam was about to stumble into, let alone its know-it-all aftermath. Tags: Library Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Semi-Public Sex

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a handful of seeds

Dean paused in his chopping. He swiped the green pepper chunks into a neat pile on the cutting board. He was running out of excuses to make. Weakly, he asked, “Where would I even keep a garden?” Cas, sensing victory, rose up in height. “Behind the bunker entrance, in the patch of earth lined by mulberry bushes.” Dean cursed, caught out. “Why’d you even bother to ask, if you already knew?” Softening, Cas gave a small smile. “I’d like to add to it, if that’s okay.”

Tags: Mary Winchester Feels, Gardens & Gardening, Domestic Fluff

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LanaSerra - @lanaserra - LanaSerra & Spandwiches - @spandwiches - spandwiches

300cc

300 Complementary Characters: a forum on Kansas City University’s student website. You can write whatever you want, but it has to be 300 characters or less. Dean is crushing hard on Sam’s TA, but it feels different than it has before; it feels like he needs to do it properly, to have a grand declaration and to prove that romance isn’t dead. What better way to profess his feelings than posting a poem on 300cc? Castiel is torn. There’s no mistaking the poem is for him, but who could be posting them? Despite being very tempted by the very attractive new light and sound engineer that will be working on the play he has written, Castiel can’t ignore the feeling that he and the anonymous Poet are meant to be together. A comedy of errors, mutual pining, and erotic poetry.

Tags: college-au, two person love triangle, explicit poetry, fluff, the boys fail to use their words while using ALL of their words, consent is sexy, POV switching, explicit, minor Sam/Eileen

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MittensMorgul - @mittensmorgul - MittensWraith

This Must Be The Place

Seven years after their profound meeting, Cas knows he's exactly where he was always meant to be. (a sequel to Lifetime Piling Up, but can be read as a standalone)

Tags: Doctor Castiel/Tattoo Artist Dean, Established Relationship, Marriage Proposal, Fluff

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On This Night

Something goes terribly wrong while hunting a djinn. Newly-human Cas had never considered what the effects of djinn poison could be for a human, and struggles to remember why everything seems just so slightly off when he wakes up back at the cabin he and Dean had been staying in during the hunt. The cabin has been transformed with holiday decorations, and Cas wonders just how long he'd been unconscious. Only when he tries to get answers from Dean, reality comes crashing back in on them both, in the best of all possible ways. Tags: Canon case fic, Christmas Fluff, snowed in, first kiss, POV Castiel, djinn dreams

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firefly124 - @firefly124-writing - firefly124

Making It Up as We Go

Dean’s not entirely sure what he’s looking at, but he’s almost sure it’s a message from Chuck.

Tags: mentions of past (temporary) MCD, spoilers through SPN 15x06

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Something Bright to Dispel the Gloom

A road trip to Salina had sounded like a good idea when Dean had suggested it. Cas hadn’t been back for long, though, and this was shaping up to be the world’s most awkward road trip ever.

Tags: spoilers through SPN 15x07

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Crumblin’ Down

Dean’s feeling nostalgic. Cas is mystified. Sam is oblivious.

Tags: spoilers through SPN 15x07

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Overdue Explanations are Overdue

If Dean thought this day had been a rollercoaster ride before, he didn’t know what to compare it to now.

Tags: spoilers through SPN 15x07, reference to past (temporary) MCD

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Faith, Hope, and Maybe Something Else

Castiel figured he’d probably just ensured that the Empty would never come for him.

Tags: spoilers through SPN 15x07, reference to canon character deaths

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The Choices We Make

Castiel takes a moment to reflect on the choices he has made as well as those others have made, and is presented with a new one to consider.

Tags: spoilers through SPN 15x07

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Wargurl - @wargurl83 - wargurl83

Christmas in the Bunker

Join TFW as they discover a little bit of the magic of the season. Tags: Cannon-Divergent, holiday shenanigans

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#member masterpost #members masterpost #profoundnet monthly masterpost #November masterpost #December masterpost #profoundnet #deancasreclist #member art #member fic

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seyaryminamoto · 5 years

Note

I like how you do OCs. So many fanfictions make them overpowered and without flaws. But your ones come off more natural, half of them aren't even martial badasses but just regular people getting by. Like Kino, or Shouji. If I recall, Rui Shi was once some nameless caption before you developed him. Hina is, haha, yeah, a bitch, lol. Is it just me or would Ozai's assassin and Toph make a great comedy duo? The blind girl and the invisible man. Even Xin Long has personality. My fav is still Rui Shi.

Well, like I always say, Shoji isn’t an OC :’D he’s another repurposed one-time canon character who got a much bigger role in Gladiator than in ATLA, just like Song. This is him! It’s possible that it will become more obvious that he’s a canon-based character in chapter 201, but even if it’s not that obvious, now you know the truth!

Either way, I’m glad you like my OCs! Rui Shi is one of the best of them, without a doubt, so I take pride in knowing he’s your favorite. I guess there are many secrets to making OCs for fanfiction, because chances are you will need OCs in a long-term story like my own… but when I started out with the story, I always kept them at a minimum both because I wanted to use as many canon characters as I could (hence, Shoji), and because I knew of the stigma that surounds fanfiction OCs. There’s people who do like reading about OCs… but the majority of the readers will open a fic out of interest in the canon characters they already know and love. If your story isn’t outright about OCs, you risk alienating readers by introducing characters who could feel out of place in the setting (and that, I think, is what bothers you with OCs who are overpowered and flawless).

Admittedly, it may sound like I’m talking out of my ass because of characters like Rhone and Seethus, who probably do fall into the overpowered OC cliches… but uh, small secret: they’re not exactly my creations. They were a suggestion by a friend, one of Gladiator’s staunchest supporters from its very inception (being upfront, Gladiator wouldn’t even exist without him), and I did my best to accommodate them into the story despite there were some things in his original ideas for the characters that would have been quite difficult to work with. Seethus seems to have been received much better than Rhone, which is a relief for me, but the truth is that neither of them are 100% mine and they follow entirely different character-building principles because of that.

Outside of those two, though, the other OCs we have generally obey the need for these characters to exist in this world and setting: when it comes to the soldiers in the Fire Nation army, the show portrayed them as real people by the last season but I wanted to flesh out some of them further than that, beyond showing they can be nice to prisoners (Iroh’s friendly prison guard) or playful with each other (the ones from the Boiling Rock). That’s where Rui Shi came from, the most exasperated and tortured Royal Guard in the history of the position. Part of Rui Shi’s success, I think, comes from him being 100% loyal to Azula despite being 100% exasperated by her antics just as well :’D he’s a cool guy, but all he ever wanted was to protect a Princess who refuses to be protected and who seems to make a sport out of making his job more and more difficult xD which results in his constant clashes with her and his little patience for the ridiculous crap she gets up to more often than not. He serves as a counterweight, I think, to all the characters who are starstruck by Azula and Sokka: he’s a grounding character, helps us see these two are a pair of reckless dorks in love who need to get reeled back into their best behavior once in a while.

And then there’s Kino, who basically breathed life into the South Pole and created much more fun dynamics with those characters than everything that had preceded him. Kino was a REALLY lucky hit, a completely random night-time idea that came to me when I was about to go to bed… and when I woke up the next morning I couldn’t remember him anymore :’D it took a while for me to remember what that damn great idea had been… I was so glad when he returned to me, honestly xD Kino is a lot of fun, and as comedic a character as he may appear, that comedy is what makes him an individual rather than just another soldier. The idea of him being largely ignored by his fellow soldiers and commanding officers started off as a funny way to ensure he could hang out with Katara and Aang without trouble… but in Part 3 that will result in a pretty useful skill that everyone shall cherish him more for. He’s a counterweight to main characters too, in a sense, but in the opposite way Rui Shi is: he lightens up the generally serious and heavy South Pole chapters and embodies the common, ordinary Fire Nation citizen who has been indoctrinated since youth but who can find a new path for himself, learn better, cherish new ways of living once he’s removed from that very toxic environment.

I could talk for ages about the OCs in the story: Xin Long being so feisty, for instance, comes from my need to give him a visible personality, reminiscent of Azula’s own, just like Appa and Momo had in canon. Otherwise he’d feel like a mere object to be ridden back and forth between places and nothing more… which would be really demeaning for a proud creature like that, huh? :’D But I think you’ll get bored of reading too much of my OC theory, because I’ve thought about this stuff a lot xD Still, I’d like to add that there may be some characters who feel a little more complex, who may have more substance to them than initially obvious…

… And it’s because they do have more of it: I had an original story before Gladiator, pretty dense and huge story, and I’ve littered Gladiator with cameos of those OCs EVERYWHERE, it’s just not something anyone can tell because that story was never published (and never will be x’D). So… remember the Priestess of the Flames, from the Dragon’s Pit? She’s one of my favorite characters from that story xD some of her defining traits in Gladiator are outright taken from her original iteration (if you don’t remember her, no worries, you’ll see her again in the upcoming Slave Riot arc and I suspect she’ll make more of an impression there). Your Doom, his sponsor, the Ruthless Hero, the Dark Rook, Scoundrel and his sponsor too… they’re all crossovering OCs who got small roles in Gladiator xD in general, these repurposed characters have always been background or secondary characters (the ranking is FULL of these OCs, even if they might never get speaking roles, because that way I could fill up the ranks a little faster :’D), but that they already have established personalities allowed me to work easily with the ones who do have a starring role in the story, without needing to spend more time than I could afford fleshing them out so they felt believable.

I guess that really should be my final point: the OCs have to feel believable. If it looks like they have a life beyond interacting with the main cast, I don’t need to devote too much time to developing them unless strictly necessary (as was the case with Yang and Haiyan, as a quick example). OCs are, ultimately, characters: they have flaws, they have personality, they have a history just as everyone you walk past in the street does, even if you can’t fathom what it might be. As much as the world absolutely revolves around Azula and Sokka in Gladiator, each ordinary individual’s world doesn’t revolve around them. These two are as good as celebrities to admire, leaders to look up to, obstacles to overcome or nuisances to deal with… but they’re not the center of everything for the average citizen, as things stand. They’re not the only thing on their minds. Each OC has their own struggles, their own pursuits, some more mundane than others, just like every canon character does. It’s easy to think of characters, especially OCs, through a very simplistic “helpers” and “foils” filter… but real people are a lot more complicated than that, and so are they :’)

#anon #gladiator #OCs #not gonna lie I love my OCs #I mean I think most people love their own OCs #but I don't think I say it often enough about my own #and yes the Priestess owns my sorry ass #she's one of the coolest characters I've concocted #sassiest asshole with a heart of gold #writing her has always been my privilege #can't wait for you guys to see her appearances through part 2 (slave riot AND the race!)

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caubool · 5 years

Note

*Puts back on candy corn horns* I know it's a canon Classpect, but I've always been enamored with a Knight of Blood. I've always seen Blood as dealing with ancestry, bloodlines, and history, able to call upon those sources literally in regards to their class. A Sylph would be able to restore someone to the peak health of say an athlete in their lineage, or a Seer would be able to see and know the actions and intentions someone's bloodline. Which, taken far enough back and then forward, would (1)

“be a majority of a region. A Knight might be able to use the physical boons of everyone in their bloodline. Unparalleled pooled physical strength, a pooled immune system making them damn near immune to life, and taken far enough, enough youth to live as long as your bloodline has existed. However, we know that getting this can't be easy, and based on evidence from the comic, it can't really be wanted. SBURB and its subsidiaries are, in a sense, tests to challenge flawed people and grow them (2)

into "worthy" gods. So the only people that would get this Classpect, and its land and boons, would be someone with no interest in the past. No respect for where they came from. No real interest in anything but the now. They'd have to learn those things to complete their land, and most definitely to satisfy their Guardian. I'm not saying they'd be an asshole, just indifferent at best. The Land is, dare I say, more personal than the Classpect, if only because the Classpect is there to reward (3)

you for your growth, while a Land is there to challenge you into that growth. So the Land would more be determined by who they were, and why they didn't care about their past. I used to have a fankid. Didn't make any content for him, he was just mine. His name was Adam Therin, and he never made roots anywhere. Even when he beat his game, he just left his session behind. Took a tool that boosted his Blood powers for a short time, allowing him to basically dimension hop, and just hopped around (4)

(Made it easy to justify any appearances I used him for in forums or chatlogs, a totally reasonable thing to have lol) I used to think him free, but looking back he was really lonely. He probably didn't finish his Land, his Session ending before he really learned the lesson it was trying to give him. It would probably be about isolation, and the need for connection. A Land hostile to encounters, but where banding together with the denizens, or learning its history through its people, would (5)

be crucial... I think Adam was abandoned. Knight of Blood, isolation, need to connect, it all fits. Someone that was rejected, and turned that sorrow into a cold disconnect to survive. Has no real connection to his past, doesn't wanna dig it up. Probably feels like an outsider in most all of his personal relationships, which is why he left his session. So I offer: Land of Freaks and Photos. A Land where the denizens are ghouls, monsters, and seemingly hostile. Other. On the other hand, it's (6)

full of family photos, and the denizens archive and want to remember most every aspect of their shared existence. A society that thrives on connection. And a hell for someone that only wants to be left alone. Plus, LOFAP sounds like a very Hussie(TM) move. Adam's challenge would be openness at its core. There'd be some SBURB bullshit thrown in there, but his final stage might even be a co-op quest, requiring a deep connection with one or more of the other players of his session. Ultimately, (7)

I don't know how good a Knight of Blood he'd be. His immediate leaving, his hopping from place to place. I can say for certain, his ascension to God Tier was definitely an act of desperation from the other players, it'd take him a long time to accept that mantle. Even still, he'd need to go on a deeper quest to really grow into his powers, probably more working with a weapon SBURB gave him that unwittingly works astoundingly with his powerset, if he ever learns his full potential. It's funny (8)

I had this whole concept of his session being Glitched, the death of a Lord of Time that affected so much as Lord English sending ripples through SBURB, slowly corrupting the next session until it fell apart around the players' ears, forcing a Scratch. During the fight to reset, though, he got wounded, and his session had no Sylph. Having used his Dream resurrection early on, his only hope was ascension, but his bed was already destroyed with the Scratch. But as soon as they finished the (9)

Scratch, his Dancestor, an Heir of Space, appeared to take him to their own Bed. Down the road, the Dancestor gave Adam's session's Time player a note that had been given to him months ago, explaining when and where Adam would appear. And so the serpent ate its own tail, and Adam was reborn. I probably just did more than you do for this, but eh. Maybe if I write more for him, I'll give him a happier ending. (10)”

My guy...I honestly don’t know what to say to all this? It looks like you’ve already thought pretty deeply about Adam and his land and his journey as a character. I’m not even sure what kind of question you’re asking? But I’ll try to answer the only one I can pick out.

Is Adam Therin a good Knight of Blood?

In simple terms: No, but let’s get complicated about it.

The first question we need to answer is: what makes a “good” Knight of Blood?

A good Knight of Blood, one that fulfills their roles prescribed by their classpect. These roles would be A) Overcoming their internal conflict and being open about whatever it is they’re trying to suppress or hide. B) Actively manipulate Blood in order to assist other characters in their session. C) Assisting with the creation of the Genesis Frog and keeping their sessionmates together.

Those are the three criteria Adam would have to meet in order to be considered a “good” Knight of Blood. This does not mean those are the things he needs to meet in order to be considered a good character. Any character can be “good” in the sense that they’ve grown and changed in response to the narrative. A “good” character can be a shitty Knight of Blood and a proper Knight of Blood can be a shitty character. Adam himself is not a shitty character by any stretch or means. He has depth and complexity, and no doubt the capacity to grow into his role in the session. But he doesn’t.

Adam leaves his land early, eliminating the most straight forward possibility of coming to terms with his own struggles. Of course, this can still be achieved but as his character is one that’s always pushing others away the instigator would have to be very determined to get close and get him to open up. It could even be his Dancestor, the Heir of Space. An Heir of Space would certainly be very tenacious. Maybe a tad obsessive, even, if how Hussie acts is reflective of all other Heirs of Space. So as it stands now, Adam has not met criteria A, but the possibility to meet it is still there, but it would be very hard to do.

Criteria B is all about how he uses his aspect. For this I would say he’s met it already, just at an uncomfortable angle. He actively manipulated his lack of connections to justify jumping universes. “There’s nothing left for me here so why stay?” The only thing wrong about this is that he’s manipulating Blood for himself and his own sensibilities instead of his teammates. It makes how this criteria is supposed to lock into the others ring sour instead of true. That’s a vague sentence but I hope it makes sense. Bones in your arm have to click together to work. Criteria A is the humerous and B & C are the radius and ulna. With B around but just slightly out of place the bone is resting in the joint at a slightly off angle, making motion and elasticity very limited. So in this way he meets criteria B, but limits himself in how he uses it. By continuing to use it for himself he only furthers himself from achieving that “good” status.

Criteria C is entirely impossible as their session got scratched. He could still technically assist with the new Genisis Frog but based on how A and B are going it probably won’t happen.

From this I conclude that, no, Adam Therin is not a good Knight of Blood. He has the opportunities to better himself in the eyes of his classpect but he won’t if what you’ve described continues. Of course there is a way to get back on track but at this point I can’t offer any real solution. If you want him to represent what a Knight of Blood is then that’s something you’ll have to think about on your own. He certainly matches the pregame requirements to be a Knight of Blood but along the way he failed to make those essential connections and ghosts the Breath aspect. He is not a good Knight of Blood but that’s okay because he sounds like a brilliant character that has deep flaws and complexities. He is a good character who’s chance to change has passed which just Adds to everything that he is.

I’m not sure if this has helped you in any way, but these are my thoughts on the matter. I wish you the best of luck deciding where to go from here, but I think whatever you do with Adam will be interesting. Thank you for sending in your request!

#knight of blood #long post #character analysis #homestuck #mod crimson

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dingberg · 5 years

Note

Hey, I was wondering if the characters you make are for your own campaigns, or campaigns you play in. You inspire me to create my own unique characters and I was wondering if you had any tips on how to incorporate "complex characters" into a campaign. I feel like I'd just get on the DM's/Player's nerves...

First off, thanks for being the first person to ever send me an ask on here, lol. And you have no idea how happy I am to hear that I inspire you in any way, let alone to make your own characters and go above and beyond the call of duty with them. Apologies in advance for the massive response. I can be an extremely long-winded person when it comes to things I’m passionate about.

Anyway, all the characters I’ve made for D&D have been for player roles…never been a DM myself (but maybe some day). Unfortunately, your fears about getting on the DM’s / other player’s nerves by playing weird, complicated characters aren’t exactly unfounded. The DMs I’ve played with could talk your ear off with stories about the difficulties they’ve had dealing with my shenanigans. But despite all the trouble I cause, the DMs and players I’ve played with still really enjoy playing with me and love my characters (or at least that’s what they tell me). Here’s what I’ve learned from my experiences as far as your concerns of being able to flex your creative muscles and still get along with the other people who have to put up with you. These rules apply to any situation, but they go double for playing weird characters.

Rule #1: COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR FELLOW PLAYERS AND ESPECIALLY WITH YOUR DM.

This is probably the most important rule. It’s essential that you learn what the people you’re playing with are and are not ok with and to make sure you’re all on the same page. Because playing a nonstandard character not only puts added challenge on yourself, but on everyone else that has to play around you as well. So make sure your fellow players and especially the DM know exactly what they’re in for with your character and that they’re completely ok with it before committing to anything. And be willing to make concessions for them as well if they’re not comfortable with anything. Sometimes people will be apprehensive to go along with something they’re not used to, especially if they don’t have much reason to trust you won’t screw it up or do it for the wrong reasons. And there are things you can do to help ease those fears, but don’t push too hard, especially on your first time with a group.

The first proper campaign I was ever in, my DM wanted to limit it to only human characters for the first go around because most of us were inexperienced and he didn’t want to take any chances. But I wasn’t really too interested in the setting and felt I needed something to anchor my interest. I was really interested in homebrewing (still am) and had a slime character (Chu) who I designed for another non-D&D project but unfortunately got left on the cutting room floor, so I wanted to give her a chance to shine in this new setting. I don’t necessarily recommend anyone going this ham on their first campaign, but I’d been writing and designing characters for years before I picked up D&D, so I felt pretty confident that I could pull it off.

I knew homebrewing a completely custom race on my first campaign was definitely going to raise a lot of red flags, so I wanted to make things as easy as possible for the DM and help him feel comfortable that I knew what I was doing before asking him to trust me. I first asked what the setting was and made sure this character would actually fit naturally without compromising what the DM had already set up. Then I thoroughly studied the guidebook for the system and setting we were playing in and wrote up an entire guide going through every aspect of how this character would function both in terms of mechanics and lore (which years later turned into my Slime Guide that I’ve posted here). Then I pitched it to the DM to see if he’d even be ok with the idea, then sat down with him to go over my guidebook together and figure out what needed to be changed or rebalanced. When that was all approved, I talked to the other players and told them what I had in mind and asked if they were all cool with it, which they were. So we went ahead with it and we all had a blast with that campaign (literally…a lot of stuff blew up, my poor slime girl was traumatized).

You don’t necessarily have to go to such extreme lengths yourself, but just communicate with the others, make sure they’re ok with what you want to do before you do it, and be willing to make concessions and work with them to make sure everyone’s happy, because D&D is a collaborative effort and it’s not very fun for anyone if some people aren’t having a good time.

Rule #2: Try to put as much of the strain of dealing with your character on yourself and not on other people as possible.

Coordinate with the DM and the other players to figure out what their general plans are. Make sure you’ve got a character that will logically fit in with the party and the world they’ll be adventuring in, and will at least mostly get along with their fellow party members. Nobody wants to have to play babysitter and hold up the adventure or force their characters or world to behave in a way that’s unnatural or metagame-y to try to come up with some reason for the one character who doesn’t gel with anyone or make sense as a member of the party to not just follow the logical path and split from the party. Don’t be afraid to let your characters fight and have disagreements with other player characters here and there, but your characters should always have something that makes them fit into the party naturally and binds them with their fellow adventurers enough to overcome almost any fight or disagreement. Hell, I’ve had multiple situations where my character had a falling out with the party and almost left. But I always have at least one thread that will bring my character back on their own in case the rest of the party doesn’t naturally bring my character back themselves. Never put the onus on the DM or other players to keep your character in the party unless you’re prepared to lose that character.

Similarly, you don’t wanna play a character that’s just not going to fit in with the setting and will ruin the immersion for everyone. If you want to play a cyborg in a medieval fantasy setting, you need to have a good reason for it that everyone else is completely on board with. If your party is on a grand quest to help the local dwarf community raise money to build an orphanage, it’s probably not a good idea to play a character who despises dwarves and/or children. And if you want to play as a monster character in a setting where the average person is hostile towards monsters, your fellow players had better be playing some pretty chill dudes, and your character had better have some way to pass the time they’ll spend sitting out in the woods while the rest of the party heads into town to get supplies unless you’re real good at disguising your monstrousness or think you can outrun the crowds armed with torches and pitchforks (this actually happened to one of my characters, fun times).

Rule #3: Just follow basic etiquette and have fun.

It’s alright to make mistakes and accidentally step on someone’s toes every now and then. It happens to the best of us. Just establish at the outset that you first and foremost just want to have a good time with everyone and get along. Clearly establish your own boundaries from the start and respect other people’s. Make it clear that you’re willing to listen to complaints and concerns and work with people to resolve them before they get out of control, and absolutely make sure you behave in a way that people will be comfortable with bringing this stuff up to you and talking about it without fear of hurting your feelings or causing a negative reaction.

Basically, as long as you consider the feelings of your fellow players and DMs, do a good job of communicating, and make sure everyone is on the same page as far as boundaries and what they want out of the experience, you’re gonna be solid. Because even if you do screw something up, everyone should understand that it was just an honest mistake and know that you’ll learn from that mistake and fix it for next time.

It’s all about building trust (giving and receiving). Because people who trust that you know what you’re doing and have the best intentions in mind are gonna be a lot more willing to let you try out your crazy ideas and play along with them. I almost exclusively play weird, nonstandard characters and early on, every character I pitched was met with an exasperated “Oh my god, why do you do this to me?” from my main DM. But I consistently followed these rules, proved that I know how to make and play fun characters that have a positive impact on the campaigns they’re in, and built up that trust with my group. And now everyone has a blast playing with me and interacting with my characters. I’ve even inspired some of my friends to flex their creativity and delve into the weirder side of character creation.

Sorry again for the light novel, lol. I hope this helped you and anyone else that took the time to read all this. And I’m always open to answer questions!

#ask #advice #dnd #dnd character #d&d #d&d character

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river1983 · 6 years

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Can You Feel My Heart?

No one has submitted prompts really lol so here’s another piece I did a while ago...no one asked for it but here it is lol. I edited it a little bit because I think Cas was a little to OOC.

Summary: Castiel has lost his wings--for good this time. Not used to his newly human form, he seeks the comfort of the Winchesters--specifically one pie-loving, self-hating hunter.

Ship: Destiel

Cas sat around the map table with the Winchester brothers, both staring at him for an explanation for why he hadn’t contacted them in weeks.

He considered making up a false excuse, covering up the real reason why he hadn’t contacted them. But the former angel knew that they would see right through him.

Castiel sighed as he grabbed the beer they had slid over. “I...I lost my wings.”

Dean’s expression immediately softened and Sam’s looked mostly confused.

“What? How?” Sam asked.

He finished his beer quickly, setting the bottle back down on the table. “I had been hunting for Gabriel. Ever since he came to me in that illusion I had been looking for him. My brothers, Rastiel and Haleem captured me outside of a cabin in Atlanta, Georgia. Under heaven’s orders, they removed my grace and knocked me unconscious. I woke up hours later in Chicago, no food, no money...nothing. I...I didn’t know what to do. So I walked here.”

Dean’s green eyes widened. “You walked? From Chicago to Lebanon? Without food or water?”

He nodded. “I couldn’t do anything else. I suppose I could have stolen a car, but truthfully I do not know how to hotwire a vehicle.”

The ex-soldier-of-heaven looked to the floor. “That’s why it took so long. I couldn’t get a hold of a phone because I had no money and apparently looked homeless. I managed to steal some water gas stations but was always caught and forced out before I managed to get some food.”

Dean worried for the angel...well ex-angel, now. He hadn’t done too well his first run at being human, and an instinct to care for Cas unexpectedly washed over him.

Dean went to the kitchen for a minute and brought back a turkey sandwich he had saved and handed it to him. “Eat. We’ll set you up in the room next to mine. After you eat, shower. You can borrow some of my clothes for now.”

Cas nodded, accepting the sandwich gratefully. “Thank you Dean.”

He attacked the sandwich, moaning in pleasure at the pleasant taste of the substance. Without his angelically modified taste buds, he could actually enjoy the food and not just taste the molecules. Food, the ex-angel decided, was one of the best creations humans had ever made in their evolution.

Sam came around, rubbing his friend’s shoulder. “We’ll figure it out, Cas.” Before retreating to his room.

Cas finished the turkey sandwich as Dean came back to the room, setting some of his old clothes down on the table. “Um, here’s some of my old clothes. They should fit you for now, we can buy you some more of your own later.”

Cas looked up at the older hunter, noticing his cheeks were pinker than before. Is he cold? The former angel thought. The bunker’s temperature isn’t too out balance, however.

He shrugged it off as a normal, unfamiliar human thing and took the clothes, shooting a grateful smile towards Dean and walking off to the bathroom.

Though as when he was an angel he didn’t need to shower, he knew where almost every room was, just in case of emergency. He reached the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind him. He took off his beloved trench coat, undid his tie, and peeled off his dress shirt. Staring at himself in the mirror, he couldn’t help but notice how human he looked. His eyes were red from lack of sleep, his ribs visible beneath his pale skin. His hair dirty and uncombed, along with his body. He had a scraggly beard from the weeks of no hygiene. He was sweaty from hours of walking. He hadn’t realized how terrible he looked.

How human he felt too. His arms and legs could barely hold his weight he was so weak. His eyes drooped with fatigue. His stomach, though he had just eaten, growled, demanding food. His bladder annoyingly full. His insides churned with sickness because of how he’s treated himself. His once enhanced mind now felt foggy. He felt vulnerable, and the ex-angel wasn’t used to the feeling of helplessness.

He was there as his Father created mankind. He was there during the flood. He was there when Mary gave birth to the first Nephilim, Jesus Christ. (A/N: This isn’t confirmed or anything I just thought it would be an interesting theory.) He was the one who told Abraham the fate of his son Ishmael.

He had been alive for several millennia, witnessed Creation firsthand. Now, his wings were gone and the one thing he was useful for--his angelic powers--has left him.

It all hit Castiel like a truck as he stared at himself in the mirror.

Dean kicked him out last time he was human. Would Sam and Dean even want him here? Was he only a tool to them? What would he even do if they kick him out again? He had no idea how to function as a human in this world, how to pass as a mortal when he’s spent centuries as an angel. That could be inferred from the last time he was human.

He took a deep breath. he’ll have to worry about that later. Once he figured out how to turn on the shower, he let the scalding hot water soothe his aching muscles. He took the bar of soap and washed himself, also lathering his hair with the shampoo also in the shower.

Stepping out, he dried off with a towel Dean has also given him and relieved himself. He dressed in the clothes Dean had given him, gathered his old, dirty clothes, and set off to his room to put them away.

---

Cas stepped into the kitchen, causing Dean to double-take at his appearance.

He had given Cas an old plaid shirt, some jeans, and his boots that didn’t fit anymore. He’d never thought Cas would look so good in them. Dean wasn’t used to seeing him in such casual clothes--he always wore that dirty trench coat and suit. He was cut off guard with how the plaid shirt brought out his unnaturally blue eyes, how attractive in general he looked wearing “hunter clothes”.

Dean caught himself staring and shook his head a bit, dismissing the thoughts from his head. He’d come to terms that he maybe wasn’t as straight as he thought he was a while ago, but refused to let that get in the way of anything.

Cas walked towards Dean, standing next to him and leaning on the table. Dean repressed the urge to wrap his arm around the ex-angel.

“How you doing, Cas?”

Cas shrugged. “Okay, I suppose. Not completely thrilled to be human again.”

Cas stayed quiet, not sure if he wanted to bring up the concerns he had earlier.

Dean looked into Castiel’s eyes, seeing the former servant of heaven’s worries.

“If you need to talk...I’m here, okay?” Dean assured, the urge to comfort Cas overcoming him again.

Cas nodded, looking at the hunter with his bright blue eyes. “I will, Dean.”

They sat there in comfortable silence before Cas spoke again. “Are you going to kick me out again?”

Dean whipped his head around to look at Cas. He saw how Cas tensed awaiting his answer.

”What? No, Cas. Why would I do that?”

Cas glared at him. “You did last time.”

Dean winced. He remembered last time Cas was human, when Sam was unknowingly being possessed by Gadreel. Gadreel wouldn’t continue healing Sam if Cas was there, so Dean had kicked his best friend out.

”Cas...” Dean started. “I’m not going to kick you. I shouldn’t have the first time. Sam was being healed by Gadreel, and I...I was being a coward and didn't ell you the truth. I’m so sorry about that Cas.”

Cas looked down. “I know, Dean. You are forgiven. I just...needed to know I wouldn't be alone again.”

Dean’s heart ached. He regretted kicked Castiel out since I had happened, but he pushed it back with all the things that have gone down since the. He wouldn’t let Cas go through this again.

”You won’t be,” Dean said, clasping his hand on Cas’ shoulder. “I’ll be here.”

Cas nodded, looking up and smiling small at Dean. “I’m going to go...get some rest.”

Dean saw a flash of pain register on his friend’s face before it disappeared.

“Alright, Cas.”

Castiel trudged to his room and closed his door, collapsing on the memory foam, sinking into the comfort.

Cas was broken.

It had been a month after his reunion with the Winchester’s and the routine of their lives returned to normal.

Except it wasn’t.

Dean and Sam still went on hunts, Cas tagging along sometimes. He couldn’t go after Gabriel as a human, and there was little else he could do. He had become a better hunter overtime, adapting without his angel mojo.

Dean made it better. He treated Cas the same, and treaded around the topic of angels and angel mojo around Cas. Sam did the same, but it was obvious he was a bit uncomfortable with Cas’...humanness.

Cas now sat on his bed, unable to gain the strength to get up and walk out. He had only been a human for 2 months, but it had seemed like a lifetime. He had been human longer before this, but now it felt completely different for some reason. Maybe it was the fact that his brothers took his grace, maybe it was the month spent trying to get to the Winchesters. But it was something, and Cas hadn’t felt right since it happened. Even with Dean helping him and making sure he didn’t feel alone or useless, he still felt he wasn’t contributing to the team.

“Cas? What are you doing, we’re getting ready to-” Dean shouted as he came and opened Cas’ door. He saw the ex-angel staring at the wall, unmoving, eyes dead and shoulders slumped.

“Cas…?” Dean said softly.

Unable to prevent it, a tear rolled down Castiel’s cheek, followed by another, only increasing Castiel’s feeling of weakness.

“Cas!? Are you okay?” Dean asked, dropping his weapons bag and lightly cupping Cas’ face without thinking, only wanting to calm his friend.

Uncontrollably, Castiel just started crying. Tears stream down his cheeks and he hiccupped on every other breath, almost choking on his own tears. Dean pulled the former angel close to him, his heart breaking. He’d never seen Cas cry, even when he was human before. “Just let it out, Cas.”

And Cas did, he just...he couldn’t hold it in anymore. His hatred for his dependence on Dean, his lack of powers, his inability to do anything. He hated it and himself for getting in this situation. His bright blue eyes were now clouded with emotional pain, his heart feeling like it was being squished.

Cas squeezed his eyes shut and clung to the hunter, gripping his plaid shirt like his life depended on it. He sobbed uncontrollably, placing his hand where the mark he had left on Dean was, as if he could grasp onto the tiny amount of grace there and never let go.

He missed his wings.

His wings, massive, full, beautiful. Him being the leader of his garrison, his wings were elegant and decorative. There were pitch black besides occasional tufts of silver feathers. Blue streaks branched from where the wings joined into his back to the middle of the wing. He missed them like a child would miss their favorite toy.

He loosened his grip and went limp, worn out emotionally and physically from crying. He felt lighter after his meltdown, and he felt no shame in the presence of Dean. If it had been Sam, he probably wouldn’t have been able to look him in the eye for a while.

“I-I’m sorry, D-Dean.” Cas hiccupped, still gripping Dean’s arms.

Dean lifted Cas’ head, forcing the ex-angel to look at him, and hesitantly brought their lips together.

Cas completely melted into the kiss. He pulled Dean closer by the face, savoring it. When they finally parted, Cas looked into Dean’s eyes shocked but pleased.

“I’m glad you felt safe enough to be vulnerable in front of me.” Dean said softly.

“I raised you from Hell, Dean, our bond is very profound.” Cas said before he could stop himself.

Dean laughed, then kissed Castiel again. “Are you okay?”

Cas smiled genuinely for the first time since becoming human. “I am now.”

He kissed Dean once more as Sam came into his room, wondering where the former angel and his brother were. He found them kissing and walked out immediately, smiling softly.

He knew something was going on between those two.

#destiel #destiel fanfic #destiel fic #angst #fanfiction #oof they are so in love #my fav gays #destiel fanfiction #gayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy #lmao #jada writes stuff

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eisforeidolon · 6 years

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Frankly, I expected better from Berens. It's like all his writing skills went out the window when he started pandering to Wayward stans. His merry band of Mary Sues was beyond terrible. And the WS premise itself had no legs. The SPN pilot left viewers with questions - where was John? why was Jess killed? who were these brothers? Claire crying over some chick she just & some lame rift weren't even in the same league. There was no hook to keep the GA or even regular SPN fans invested & watching

I can’t say I’ve been particularly thrilled with Berens’ work on the show. Still, I wouldn’t put him on a level with Perez and the Gruesome Twosome, either. So I just don’t get how, when they were trying to launch a new series, when they’d already tried once and failed? This is the basket they put their eggs in.

To me, a good spinoff takes some aspect of the parent show that has room for expansion in a unique direction and turns it into a standalone companion story that still runs in parallel lines. Which is why I thought Jody taking in a bunch of supernaturally-traumatized orphans or the Banes twins could theoretically make for a good spin-off. A different approach and perspective to the same world, yeah?

That wasn’t exciting enough for the writers, though, apparently, so it turned into, “Hey, let’s throw in a ripoff hellmouth rift in the fabric of reality our main series protagonists will just shrug off as NBD for reasons!” It’s so random, why am I supposed to care? What does this really have to do with SPN’s world, when it seems to have been tailor-made to discard all the lore and continuity of the parent show? When, in fact, it seems like a pure excuse to try and con the parent show’s viewers into watching something entirely different but yet not particularly original? Still, even if the story was dumb and so questionably derivative it had no real hook, the characters could have made it worth it. Except the characters and their relationships have zero depth, too.

Why are we supposed to invest in a bunch of teenagers that have a lifetime’s worth of abilities arbitrarily handed to them? Without even some kind of mythical excuse? Claire is a super hunter that’s not dead of her own incompetent carelessness because ... she is. Patience is able to save herself and everyone else with her just discovered psychic abilities when her grandmother with a lifetime of experience couldn’t because ... she does. Kaia is not only the most specialest dreamwalker when dreamwalkers are suddenly a thing that are necessary (not that Jack doesn’t have his own issues with Gary Stu traits, but he can open alternate realities but not see into them? LOL), her evil double can take out two trained hunters with a stick! I mean, the term Mary Sue gets overused but seriously? All of these characters are just The Most Awesome For Reasons.

Which is bad enough, but add on top of that how the actions and goals of those characters and others around them are twisted into nonsensical pretzels to make the premise work (Jody “the mom” covering up for Claire instead of getting her deeply needed help, Alex suddenly being a-okay with signing up for hunting, James telling his daughter to GTFO after losing his estranged mother he was lamenting the exact same mistake with)? Who form what we’re meant to believe are deep meaningful bonds so powerful they help Kaia overcome years of fear in about, oh, five minutes. Not even to get into the part where they’re now telling-not-showing us that we were also supposed to read Claire and Kaia as romantic. They all fought together once, so that’s enough reason to be as close as years or entire lifetimes of having each other’s backs, right?

Then you get to the part where the writers are dumb enough to think that the best way to make people invest in a new series’ characters is by making the ones from the parent series complete incompetent morons incapable of tying their own shoes (or finding a giant glowing freaking hole in reality in their immediate vicinity)? I mean, writing 101 here, folks, if your characters have to make everyone else in the vicinity act like their intelligence and skills suddenly evaporated to make your creations seem remotely useful (forget awesome), your characters suck ass.

Why have well written female characters that actually have to learn and grow and work to accomplish their aims when you can have Awesome Ladies(TM) though, right? Why take what is already a rich mythology and interesting world and build on what’s already there? In the end, this feels like the cheapest, most cynical, laziest possible effort at trying to cash in on a younger more socially-conscious demographic who are naive enough to think watching tv is activism and representation tickboxes alone make a story worthwhile. Which ... is only a part of the overall SPN audience, so how does that choice make sense?

#askboxery #anti wayward #anti sjws #Anonymous

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shallowpoools · 6 years

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and here's me actually blogging on my blog for a change

because i just have a lot of thoughts i need to clear out lmao. feel free to scroll past, this is just a giant word vomit i'm doing on tumblr mobile to reflect on whatever the fuck is going on with my head today.

i feel like i suck so much that i haven't even been able to keep up with my virtual activities let alone ones in real life. i can't tell if it's the fibromyalgia or the depression but i'm just sapped of all energy to the point where if it's not my job, i don't even feel like i physically can do work.

like i'm fine. i don't want anyone to think this is a cry for help. i see my therapist every other week and i literally got home from a psychiatry appointment an hour ago. i'm not in any danger and me and my doctors are all trying to help me overcome my disorders and disabilities to be the best me i can be.

but in the meantime i'm just sad, i guess. even my psychiatrist tells me that the medication i'm on has done about the best it can do for someone in a situation they're unhappy with. "you don't need a medicine change, you need a life change", is how he puts it. and i can't say he's wrong.

i feel like i'm stuck and i'm not even close to where i want to be in life. it's weird because last year around this time, i was searching for a job and couldn't wait for the time when i'd be employed and comfortable enough in my position to practically run on autopilot, which is where i am now. but instead of feeling like some comfortable familiarity it feels like a bleak reminder that i'm rotting in a lifestyle that isn't getting me anywhere closer to a future that i want in a minimum wage part time job where my potential goes to die. i'm grateful to be employed, i'm grateful that my home is a group-funded one that allows me to currently only work the hours that i can because it doesn't rely solely on my income. as much as i feel like a kept brat when i put it into words, i know what a privilege it is to be living with my mom, who carries our household on her back.

my little brother entered the room and interrupted my train of thought lol where was i.

i guess what i'm trying to say is that i'm thankful to be in the position that i'm in because it could be so much worse but it frustrates me because it's not where i want to be in life. i get mad at myself: i'm not driving, i'm not going to school, i dropped out and never got a degree, i'm not working more hours, i'm not even working in a job that i like, i reserve all my energy for a corporate job that wouldn't care if i die tomorrow and then don't have anything to put into my own life and happiness and hobbies. i don't write, i don't draw, i barely even roleplay let alone spend time on my fucking blog, a minimal effort activity. and then i get down on myself: is it really my disabilities? maybe i'm just being lazy? no, i know better than that, that's just the ghosts of my abusers talking to me. except, maybe they knew better. maybe they could see that i just don't want to do anything. no, i know better. i want to do everything. i'm someone that thrives on creation and performance and social interaction stuffed into an overweight, overstimulated, overwhelmed body that feels pain and fatigue simply by existing and a brain that doesn't want to get out of bed or do anything more than burrow into a nest of online nothingness and idealization of what i could be like instead.

i'm sad that i'm not doing better. i'm sad that my house is a mess and that my family barely interacts with each other and that all my friends are far away from me and i don't know anybody here. i'm sad that i know almost everything is fixable but that my own defects prevent or just slow down the process. i'm sad that i have all of these ideas about stories and plays i want to write and bands i want to form and videos i want to make and how my house could be cleaned and flipped to the gods if i just had the momentum, and that i follow all of these online personalities with kids because i know i want one so bad but i in no way am ready now so i live vicariously through as many people as i can to try and curb the void, and that i'm trying so hard to eat better and lose weight and feel healthy but i barely feel charged enough to leave my room let alone actually have an exercise regimen.

i'm sad that i have a better life in my head that seems so doable if i wasn't so physically and mentally out of shape.

i'm sad that i can't just clean my fucking room lmao. and instead i felt the need to vent about how sad my life is on a blog i'm barely even using these days.

i do feel better talking about it though. so thank you for your time if you read this. i'm gonna go try and do something to make myself feel better now. xx

#~#tw: depression #tw: mental illness #tw: abuse #tw: anxiety

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thydungeon · 4 years

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“Break”

In the fall of 2018, Stoic Studio held a short story fan fiction contest because they were publishing a compilation for The Banner Saga.

I really loved this game, but for whatever reason I didn’t play the second and third games until a week-long stretch in 2018 when Emily was out of the country. I stayed up until 5 am to finish the third game!

But then I saw the contest and I thought, “oh my god, this is perfect!”

They didn’t pick my story, and I have never been sadder about any personal creation of mine. I spent a lot of time on the story and had a lot of help editing from Russell and Emily, overcoming elements of some fairly old-timey fears. Obviously, the hard truth is that I’m not that good of a writer, but I struggled for a long time with whether or not to really regret a series of design decisions. That is, I wrote the story that I wanted to, the way I wanted to, but I wonder if the following needed to be true:

Why did I write a story that features only varl and literally no humans (read: no women)? Why did I write a story that covers the scope of only violence, something I’ve never been comfortable writing? Why did I write a story with only original characters, so out of the way of the games? Why did I make the first 270 words in the style of an emotionless recounting of strategic and tactical failures? Why did I develop only one character, with essentially no emotional arc?

Regardless, I do like the piece. I think I wrote it reasonably well given the above handicaps (that, again, I chose because I wanted them). And now, reading it two years later, it’s pretty clear it’s “about” switching roles at my old job in the US; the feeling of losing your position and drifting away from people is/was a common theme in a lot of things I’ve written, so go figure lol

Since Russell is the only person who ever read this with the full context (having played the games), here are some background details:

1. The game takes place in a Norse/Nordic setting. The antagonist is a Jormungandr figure, all the main characters have Germanic-sounding names, it’s Viking age tech, and the world is snowy.

2. Varl are like giant human-oxen hybrids; there are only so many of them because each one was literally created by a real, physical god who has since disappeared. Hence, the number of varl will never increase, only decrease (this doesn’t appear to have any kind of Krogan Effect, in case you’re wondering). The process of creation is apparently quite unpleasant and is one of the reasons they fear (and I mean really fear) fire. They share the world with humans, but generally do not intermingle.

3. Dredge are rock-like humanoids who communicate with vibrations and live underground. They fought a tremendous war (the “Second Great War”) against a combined human-varl alliance. Certain dredge who are very powerful are called Sundr and have English names that reference an attribute (canon Sundr include “Bellower” and “Raze”). I don’t remember if they are physiologically different from other dredge or just the classic video game “hero” unit.

4. Per the Wiki, “varl who are close knit enough to be family refer to each other as kendr.”

5. This is stretching my memory, but I believe the title is a play on the basic combat mechanic in the game series - your units can choose to attack an opponent’s armor or health. If you attack their health, your attack damage subtracts the opponent’s armor amount before dealing any health damage, but health damage reduces the opponent’s ability to do damage back. Get it? Breaking their armor? The story is about a breakout as well. Also, it wouldn’t be an early period (2015-2018) piece if it wasn’t about burnout, i.e. breaking down.

As for why I never posted this on Tumblr, it’s because, honestly, I thought Tumblr had a character limit on text posts?

Grofheim burns.

The largest city in the north, the varl capital, lies in ruins after an avalanche of dredge like none had seen before. A few weeks earlier, a handful of reports from northern patrols suggested a massing of dredge in the abandoned, half-sunken city of Skrymirstead; further warbands detailed a sturdy garrison increasing in size with each sighting. A dozen leaders forged north with a host of five thousand to meet them but limped home a mess of several hundred. Survivors spoke of organized dredge armies moving like appendages of the Sundr. Concentrated force separated our army amid a blizzard and obliterated them.

Eager to see the army for ourselves, we awaited their arrival at the city's gate facing the Valkajokull. To our surprise, the dredge struck first from the south, having passed between the Varlsmarch and King’s Barrow hills, and only then advanced from Skrymirstead, placing a hammer against an anvil with Grofheim in between. In the days of old, we expected battles like these to slow to the crawl of a months-long siege, but this generation of dredge attacked with unique urgency. We saw Sundr everywhere: Driver, Rampage, Dread, others we remembered from ages past. The walls collapsed on the eighth day of battle, and dredge poured into the city. After only two weeks of fighting within the walls, their advance was nigh-unstoppable, and we had lost entire sectors of the city, guard towers and homes alike reduced to rubble. By the end of the third week, our encirclement was almost complete and only slivers of light in an ocean of dredge gave us hope for survival.

Shortly after the dredge breached the city walls, Jorundr and many of the remaining varl had rallied to a fortress in the center of the city. Harald, captain of the city patrols, and I, his right-hand man, joined them with a fraction of the varl we had led previously for years; all others had fallen either at the wall or in the ensuing crush. At the top of one of the fortress towers, we pored over a map resting on a rickety table. Wooden figurines shaped like varl and dredge littered the map’s surface. We used to play chess with the little pieces.

Light filtered into the spacious room from all sides, but it illuminated nothing of renown. A couple of spears leaned against the wall, and a handful of varl were resting, drinking water and munching on dwindling provisions. We looked a sorry lot, even more bruised and unwashed than the typical varl cohort. Harald could no longer grip his shield due to a mangled left arm, so we fastened them together, hoping the banded wood would hold. Fiery debris had caught me at the wall, covering my face in cuts. Outside, we could see the dredge burning heaps of fallen varl, challenging us to come out and avenge our dead.

I ran my finger across the map from our location to one of the gates. A few hours’ march stood between us and the world beyond the city walls. “We have less than five days holding out here. By that point, we’ll be surrounded, and they’ll start breaking us apart group by group. The fortress will hold for maybe two more days after that. What’s the plan, Harald?” I lifted my finger from the map and found myself biting the nail of my thumb unconsciously. The sharp taste of iron-flavored blood crusted underneath snapped me back into the moment.

Harald moved a pair of dredge pieces between us and the gate. “From what we gather, the dredge that breached the southern gate destroyed everything from Skyhorn west through the Varlsmarch, but they are now less than full strength.” He moved several other pieces above us on the map. “Jorundr did not move any troops from the northern wall to fend off the surprise attack in the south, so the dredge advance from Skrymirstead was not a total disaster. Still, that group is reportedly much larger, so a breakout that way is not possible.”

“Eamonn and his whole clan stayed at the western tower,” I said, pointing to an ornately decorated tower on the map. “Heard a rumor that Roland and his folks battled back to the wall, actually. Either group is probably a heap of bones by now, though.” Looking over the map, I realized that every painstaking detail on it had been rendered worthless by the dredge.

“I do not blame them,” said Harald. “From all of our experience, dredge grant no quarter, and some varl may be looking for revenge after hearing what happened in the blizzard.”

“I heard it might have been an accident,” said Ismail, one of the younger guards and a fixture of Harald’s patrols. “The leaders out in the wastes forgot to put out a watch as they slept, and the dredge caught them unawares, daylight and all.”

“With dredge, there is no such thing as an accident,” said Harald. “Whatever happened out there does not bode well for us here.” His eyes dimmed and I could see the truth beginning to settle.

“I know Jorundr’s been quiet about where the dredge are coming from, but what have you heard?” I asked. “Did some idiot kick over a hornet’s nest?”

“We only saw the dredge near Skrymirstead and nobody saw them coming from the east,” replied Harald. “It is no coincidence; something is driving them, and it must be more than memories of the second war.”

“We have a dozen ideas what it might be, but nothing with real evidence,” added Ismail. “Jorundr has been tight-lipped about it, but I think it’s because he doesn’t actually know. I’ve heard everything from new leadership among the dredge, a misunderstanding at the border, to some faening scheme by the Valka.”

“No need to gossip on my account, just curious,” I said, turning back to the map. “What’s left for us here?”

“It all depends on how many dredge are out there and if you want to be hopeful,” said Ismail. “Me, personally...I would rather not.”

“The southern walls have been entirely leveled, but that may work to our advantage,” said Harald. “If we can cut a path through the dredge between here and there, we can escape with no bottleneck to hinder our advance. But numbers are not on our side.”

“It’s always possible there is relief on the way, maybe runners found their way to pockets of varl beyond the city,” suggested Ismail. “Can’t change how many dredge are here, but it helps if there are more of us.”

“Now look who’s being optimistic,” I grumbled. “If they got past the forts without any trouble, then that means we’re the only varl for days in any direction. From here, we’ll have to write our own stories.”

“So then getting away is our only real choice,” said Ismail.

“If we all make a break that way to the south, they will pursue,” I said, moving varl pieces down the map and dredge pieces in pursuit. “And we won’t make three days out of Grofheim before they catch us. Some of us must split off to hold or divert them. If not, we’re faened as soon we’re free of the city. The only question is how many and where we put them.”

Harald knew this but remained quiet. He had a way of settling his gaze into an intensity that bordered almost on horror. I never thought to say anything about it after years and years, but over time I understood it as his way of focusing. We all knew that the number of varl who escaped Grofheim would be however many would fight the rest of the war. Vognir’s entourage, the varl in Strand, and any others scattered across the mountains would not be guaranteed to join in time, if ever.

“We estimate there are four thousand of us remaining in the city that can be readied to evacuate at once,” began Harald. “A tenth of that number should be the maximum committed to a diversion.”

“Do you think that’ll be enough?” Ismail asked. My instinct was that we needed a thousand, but I always used more force than necessary to get the job done. Either way, I was happy to let Harald make the assessment. He was always better with strategy.

“We need to make sure we have a force worth carrying into human lands,” said Harald. “We do not know what Jorundr has planned long-term, but we have to give him the best chance to... win.” He almost said ‘survive.’

“Fair enough, then. We hardly ever know what’s on his mind, but that’s never stopped us before. Who’s going?” I asked. Around the room, everybody stopped and looked at me and Harald like awaiting a death sentence. Varl lead long lives, but we are seldom fearless as we pretend before the moment of truth. It is the best trick we play on humans.

Harald looked at me and lowered the shield still wrapped around his arm. For the first time, I noticed the streaks of grey among black in his hair and beard, the weariness in his posture, the chips in his horns, and his tired, deep eyes. His teal tunic rested on top of bandage after bandage; it was caked with blood and pockmarked with cuts and tears.

“As good a time to go as any, right?” I joked to the room. No one said anything.

“Could you give us a minute?” Harald said to the others in the room. They quietly filed out. “I’m sorry to have announced it in front of the others, but at this point, I may be a liability with this,” continued Harald, gesturing to his arm and shield. “I trust you to handle this task. It may be the most important of our lives.”

“Harald, I understand,” I replied, smiling through. “I’ll take the remaining guards we have and hunt for volunteers. Do you need to speak to the other clans to set the plan in stone? Wouldn’t want to ruffle any feathers before we get rolling.”

“I did before I came up here,” said Harald, smiling back. I started to leave but turned back at the door.

“Harald...are we really leaving Grofheim?”

It was a ridiculous question, but it nagged me, and I needed to hear him to make it real: to leave our home, to abandon it to destruction. I was loath to leave everything behind forever: my home, our monuments, the legacy of centuries of varl.

“There is no other way,” replied Harald. “If we were going to stop them, it would have been before they reached the city.”

“We were so sure we would beat them in Skrymirstead and, failing that, here at the walls. What went wrong? The second war took years and years, we were there.”

Harald shrugged. I knew it was futile to ask, but I had become so used to him having an answer. “We will find out once we... regroup.”

I slung a hammer high on my shoulder. “Nothing to do, then. I’ll get your four hundred in the next two hours. In the meantime, I look forward to your plan for our friend down there.” I gestured to the window, where far below at the head of the black sea was a tall dredge dressed in red robes, holding a glaive in each hand. The varl in his vicinity either stood dazed in his presence or routed in cowardice. Harald peered below at the Sundr and I could feel the stress rising in him.

“This is it, this is how it happens,” he muttered, still facing down below. I never knew if he meant for me to hear it.

I went to my makeshift quarters to pick up any remaining equipment. Sitting down on the bed, I dusted off my clothes and shook off stiff boots. The beautiful release of sleep had only found me once in seven days and I longed to just rest for a moment.

After floating down the river of a dream, I opened my eyes and sat up. As I slowly remembered the broken state of my body, I felt my left horn, jagged from days of shrapnel and glancing blows. I traced a line from the tip down to a matrix of scabs dotting everything from my left eye down to my right jaw.

It was time to take stock of everything before our final rush to the city walls. My boots were finally dry after a week trudging through snow; my armor had hardly any straps left to tighten, but I kept reinforcing it with bits and pieces of metal I scavenged; daggers and knives picked up along the way found homes in my belt. I still held onto a hammer I had picked up on the fourth day of fighting. The head had delicate twists and turns carved throughout, and the rune-covered haft was smooth from centuries of use. It sang every time it stung rock and crushed everything it touched.

Down in the courtyard, my remaining guards stood at attention, tired and injured but still eager to make their mark. Another couple hundred from across the city stood nearby, joining. I felt good knowing I would run with so many familiar faces, but I couldn’t shake the feeling of leading them all to a shallow grave.

Nevertheless, we moved over to one of the few gates in the area free of dredge; this exit was where we would perform our illusion. The dredge knew we were cornered and they would be expecting a breakout and a sacrificial diversion. The switch was simple: the initial attack would in fact be the vanguard making the escape. The diversionary force would be disguised as trying to escape, conspicuously filtering out from the side. Some of the worst mistakes we made during the second war had come from believing our enemies were incapable of strategy. Our lives now hinged on whether we had learned the lesson.

Harald emerged from inside the fort, shield still locked to his arm, spear resting on his shoulder. He had patched up the remaining cuts and bruises on his body and looked ready for battle (or as ready as he would ever be). Beyond the gate, we could see figures in the distance, working their way through houses.

“Where are we meeting you when this is all over?” I asked, forcing optimism to my voice.

“The old capital, across Burra Pass,” replied Harald. “A week away if we make haste. Once we break out, Jorundr will send scouts in all directions for help.”

“Look forward to seeing you there,” I said. “Are you ready? Four hundred of yours first, then four hundred of mine.”

“If all goes well, we should have a couple thousand outside the city by the time the dredge realize the game.” Harald gritted his teeth. “Not enough down the line without the menders or humans, but this gives us hope.”

“And the Sundr?”

“You’ll have to take your chances with them,” said Harald, shaking his head. “We cannot use the same tactics as when we had true armies during the wars. We had our hands full even then.”

“Captain, we’re made of flesh and bone.” I slumped while standing for the first time all week. Harald always had an answer, but was this the best he could offer me?

“I know... reports from across the city tell us that every Sundr we can name is here. My gut tells me if you see them, you should just run.”

I forced my face into agreement, but I couldn’t let it go. “How did this happen?”

Harald blinked and his mouth settled into a frown. “We will have more time to ask questions in Einartoft. For now, we just have to escape.”

His tone was final. He seemed prepared for, even unbothered by, our impending departure. Was this all he had to say after spending a hundred years together? Did it not trouble him that those years were spent defending a city now burning to the ground? But I looked into his unmoving eyes and realized my irritation was only immaturity. He knew every bit as much as I did that the world we had built was being undone. We had been colored and shaped by a duty to our home, a duty that we had chosen, a duty that was now sunsetting. Perhaps that spoke enough for both of us.

I felt the questions inside me slowly trickle to a halt. I stared at him, trying to force myself to remember the look of his calm, unshaken face. I could see the determination, the readiness to face our final hours. Varl are seldom fearless as we pretend before the moment of truth. It is the best trick we play on humans, but, finally, this was no trick. I realized I had been staring at him for perhaps a whole minute.

Thus ended my last interaction with Harald in Grofheim. I have a painting of him in my memory of that last scene before I turned to leave. It was in that moment that I knew Grofheim was gone.

The first gate opened and Harald’s four hundred varl rushed out. They pushed away from the gate, plowing through an initial wall of dredge. Once they cleared the first group, I could see a few grunts begin to give chase before the Sundr called them back to the fortress. We then clattered our way out through the side entrance. As expected, the wave of dredge charged in our direction, a contingent ten times our size, howling and humming as they slammed into us.

I swung wildly and tossed aside a dredge grunt. Another swing, another grunt. A third swing buried my hammer into the shield of a stoneguard, but a timely blow from a guardsman freed it again. With simultaneous strikes, we felled the stoneguard and pushed onward. As we nearly broke free of the circle, I could see the lone dredge from before, taller than any of us and shrouded in crimson robes: Dread. It planted both of its glaives into the ground and began shaking violently. We had heard stories of its powers, and I was hesitant to witness them firsthand. But then, I thought, if I could do it, perhaps end the battle immediately and save the lives of those around me--and slay a dredge legend... Stonesingers can be interrupted, one heavy strike would work.

As I neared, I swung back my hammer, twisted my hips, and stretched to meet him, hammer to Sundr. But before I could make contact, a vibration knocked me onto my back and everything around me disappeared.

I found myself floating in calm darkness for a moment before a great wall of flame surrounded me and began to close in. Memories of creation flooded my mind as the flames licked my clothes, but this was different, a perversion. The wall came closer and closer until every part of me was engulfed in flames. Links of chainmail resting on my skin branded themselves into flesh, while the skin itself peeled away and the nerve endings frayed into nothingness. An eternity passed. I saw my skeleton blackening in the deepest fires of the universe, and when the last bone disappeared into ashes, I felt suspended in nothingness. My voice was gone and the only thing I could feel was my mind trying to claw its way back to something tangible.

The hollowness subsided, and I found myself in the physical world, staring up at a sky of clouds and sun blurred together. The world was eerily quiet for that moment. The loud clanging and screams of battle gave way to dull thuds like the sound at a butcher’s. I looked back at Dread and saw it walking away with one glaive resting on a shoulder, the other at its side. It seemed so calm and pleased with its work, not even giving me a second glance.

As my senses sharpened, I saw peril everywhere. My companions were in the state of illusion that had captured me, now lying on the ground with vacant eyes while dredge bludgeoned them to death. I turned and saw one varl after another dying, eyes locked in a gaze into nothingness, not reacting to hammers crushing bone and rupturing viscera and muscle. We existed only like wheat waiting for the scythe. We weren’t even fighting. We weren’t anything.

The feeling of a weapon bearing down on me finally snapped me into action. I could almost see surprise in the grunt’s eyes as I batted away its strike. One swing from my hammer shattered its stone armor and a follow-up caved in its chest. As the light faded from its eyes, I took satisfaction in ensuring its final emotion was shock.

I turned and crushed another dredge, hammerhead vibrating from the point of contact down to my trembling hands. Rage boiled within me and I was ready to charge at Dread, ready to even the score. But my tunnel vision subsided and I realized the true danger to our mission. The Sundr was already leaving and there were plenty of other dredge to handle. The glory of battling a Sundr beckoned, but I knew I owed it to those around me to struggle a different way. I had to escape.

The situation was collapsing. The longer we lingered, the more enemies swarmed to fence us in. Before Dread arrived, we had been close to breaking free and dispersing, but now, we found ourselves surrounded. Neither vigor nor ferocity would save us. I spotted a solitary varl, covered in cuts and missing an arm, waving a red banner, trying to rally us to an alleyway. This was enough of a plan to survive: no glorious final stand, no victory of arms. Along with a few others snapped out of Dread’s illusion, I followed the banner and we began hacking through the crowd of dredge. The already injured varl was cut down as I arrived, but the rest of us barreled down the alleyway as the buildings on both sides began to collapse, supports chewed away by fire. I hated the thought of deserting those I led into the fray, but I decided I would see Harald again; I owed it to my kendr.

By the time we cleared the alley, only a couple dozen of us remained. I could still hear fighting from the other side of the rubble and the awful warping noise of Dread’s glaives. Thoughts of fire continued to race around in my head, but I was able to quell the fear. With the Sundr and its dredge on the other side of the fallen buildings, I assessed our state. So much for our plan: the diversion scattered and smeared into the streets. I could only hope Harald and the others had made their escape. I rallied those with me, a few brothers in arms for years, other newly made friends, mostly strangers in a dire situation, and we started moving toward the city gate to escape. At least there were no other Sundr in the vicinity, and the dredge we did see were not very interested in fighting us, some even running away on our approach. After we felt a safe distance from the violence, we rested in an empty temple dedicated to Hadrborg. It had already been in disrepair by the time the dredge attacked, but I felt the sadness of leaving behind yet another place that harkened to a golden age: lost glory, faded away.

“Where now?” asked Ismail. In the chaos of the breakout, I hadn’t realized he was with us. In fact, I was so sure he escaped with Harald. Selfishly, I was glad to have his shield and spear, but I also wished he were far away and safe.

“It’s another hour to the gate,” I replied. “We’ll need to run. There’s nothing left here for us.”

“Do you think Jorundr and the others escaped? Harald?”

“We can ask questions in Einartoft.” I don’t know how much I believed it now that I was peddling Harald’s words.

As we advanced toward the gate, we got an eerie feeling. The only sounds we could hear were the far-off city buildings crumbling in flames. There was no fighting. Was every other varl in the city already dead? Had the dredge caught Harald and ended all hope? In the long stretch between the final row of houses and the city gate, we saw a crowd of dredge gathered. It was small enough for us to directly engage but large enough that I knew most of us would not survive. And yet, beyond the dredge was a field of corpses, mostly dredge, and only a handful of varl--Harald and the others had broken through!

I exchanged glances with my surviving varl. This was no time for subtlety, and we were in no mood for anything of the sort so close to freedom. We charged.

In the ensuing chaos, I swung my hammer with the feeling that I was gliding into the end of days, with no caution left to spare. With swing after swing, I felt the vibration and resistance resonate throughout my body.

Chance blows may have broken a rib or two, but I felt immersed in my own world. By the time I stopped feeling the weight of the hammerhead against stone, I looked around and realized that I was entirely alone for the first time. Everybody was dead. I never saw Ismail go, or Stefan, or Jorgen, or Thorvald. We had so long to live and I had missed the opportunity to say good-bye all the same. We can ask questions in Einartoft. My final, anti-climactic words to them. The final event of my life in Grofheim. Over in minutes.

Looking up, I saw that the way out was laid bare. Slowly, I realized the only thing left was for me to leave. The gate loomed over me, silent. It struck me as a cruel joke that everything around it had been obliterated, but the gate itself was left unscathed. I had defended it after all.

Not a moment after I took my first step into the snow a mace swung down at me. My forearm flung up by reflex and I felt muscles bruise and bones crack. I stumbled backward and fell into the snow onto my knees. I looked up and saw a lone grunt before me and another figure in the distance. My hands reached furiously in the cold white, reaching and reaching before I saw I had dropped the hammer behind the grunt.

I inched away from the grunt, feeling the desperation and panic of one nearing his end. I could neither find the hammer nor even see it, but I remembered the knives and daggers on my belt and I hurled one at the grunt. A miss. I scrambled for a second knife and didn’t even aim. A thud. A scream, the kind I had heard a hundred times before. The figure in the distance began running toward us, and I rose and charged the grunt. Exhaustion permeated every fiber in my body. Muscle memory drove me to dodge the grunt’s clumsy swings. It was holding onto its side, clutching the embedded knife, as desperate to end the fight as I was. Finally, it committed too far on a downward swing and missed. I held down its mace with my boot and drove my remaining dagger into its face. It crumbled to the ground in a heap without even a whimper. One long exhale later, I gave the grunt’s head a forceful kick, yanking free the blade.

I hastily placed the dagger back into my belt and found my hammer a few steps away. Just as I turned to leave, a whizzing rock smacked one of my horns. I was stunned for a moment. When I recovered, the figure was close enough to see: a smaller dredge with a sling, something I had never seen before. With no shield for defense, I braced for another attack, but it never came. Instead, the dredge dropped the sling and ran to the dead grunt, cradling the body and touching it forehead to forehead, letting out a painful drone.

I knew what I had done. We always knew. Something in me wanted to stay at the gate forever, to die defending something like the grunt had. But I couldn’t bear to look at him and I couldn’t bear to look at her.

At last, I was clear of the city. I was alone. As I walked, the hills leading away from the city gave way to a snowy and steep incline. My legs forced me forward, following the trail Harald and the others had made as they fled, but each step up the hill resounded in my head. The ringing in my ears became unbearable. I turned around to look one final time and my heart cracked at the sight of the rising pillars of flame. Years and years walking the streets, patrolling the walls, drinking myself to sleep, growing camaraderie, watching the world go by. How could I forget what I had seen? How could I let it go? What future was waiting for us? But to live--to Einartoft!

#fiction #The Banner Saga #2 years later

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cora-theprincessofhearts · 7 years

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What advice would you give me on creating OC's?(I'm asking because you're really talented and seem to give very good help)

OOC: Aw, thank you nonny! ^_^ I’ll try to help as much as possible with this post generally, but if you have any more specific questions feel free to send them in :) Also, buckle up, because this’ll be a long post :P

For all intents and purposes, I’m going to restrict this to OC’s in the Descendants-verse, because I’m guessing you want to rp as a Descendant. So step 1 with your OC is figuring out who they are.

Disclaimer: I do not claim to the the end all and be all of role playing or character-creation; this is just a process that I usually follow for my OCs/fanfics. If your process is different, that’s fine. Let’s just all respect each other. :) Continued under the cut:

1. Are they a villain or Auradon kid?

So this question seems simple at the outset…but it’s not. The whole message of the “Descendants” series is that we are similar to our parents, but don’t have to make the same mistakes. So with that in mind, don’t just pick your favorite Disney hero or villain, because your OC shouldn’t be JUST like them. My favorite Disney villain is actually Maleficent (I mean, she curses a whole kingdom because she doesn’t get invited to a party- I just love her drama lol), but aside from the fact we’ve already got Maleficent’s descendant in Mal, the writers already kind of covered any issues that you could explore there. Like, Maleficent clearly has an ego, thirst of power, and more or less major fear of missing out- and Mal addresses all of those in her character (she shares her mom’s ego, but doesn’t want the power, and doesn’t seem to care about missing out). You need to pick someone who hasn’t had their background/emotions explored and fixate on it. With Cora, I originally wanted Queen Grimhilde, because there are SO many issues that could be explored with the Evil Queen’s child- power, preoccupation with beauty, familial relationships (blood versus step), but because Evie’s an only child, I couldn’t make an OC there. I chose the Queen of Hearts as my OC’s parent because honestly…a completely bloodthirsty serial killer totally off her rocker? There’s a TON of skeletons in that family closet, and nothing makes for better writing (I write books/fanfiction too, so disclaimer, that’s where most of my experience is coming from) than skeletons. For what it’s worth, my favorite “human” Disney hero is Esmeralda and princess is Sleeping Beauty. There’s a ton you can explore with Esmeralda’s child: racism, classism, “magic,” and as for Sleeping Beauty, you can go anywhere and EVERYWHERE with her child (even though we already have Audrey): fears of abandonment, pressure to find true love, etc. Basically, figure out whether a villain or hero has more interesting skeletons to you. That’s your parent.

2. How do they feel about being an Auradonian/villain kid?

Do they wholeheartedly embrace being a VK, like Uma, or dream of moving to Auradon like Evie? Do they believe that the Auradonian way is the only right way, like Audrey, or do they think the villains might have something worth teaching, like Lonnie and/or Ben? More importantly, WHY do they feel this way? This will lead you to a core character trait. With Cora, I chose the fact that she wants to get off the isle because she feels like her only path to power lies in Auradon- and she wants power because she feels ruling Wonderland is her birthright. BUT she doesn’t want to kill people for minor infractions. So in that, Cora’s actually accepting of her heritage as a VK, but wants to build on it and realizes the only way to do so is to become an Auradon kid- or at least try to fit in there for a bit. This motivation leads to a core character trait, which in Cora’s case is ambition. Also figuring out a character’s feelings as to how they recognize their Auradonian/VK heritage can help lead you to a basic background for them.

3. Make a mini backstory for your OC.

One of the super fun things that I’ve realized about roleplaying is that your character constantly gets to evolve through their interactions. HOWEVER, your character also has to have some sort of backstory, otherwise you’re working from a place of nowhere. It’s kind of like life- we’ve all got childhoods and then change as we become teenagers and adults and interact with others outside our family unit. Stick to this backstory for most iterations of your character; obviously you can change this for an AU, but keeping some basic traits of a backstory universal helps give your character an actual form as opposed to being a blank slate. For example, the universal backstory I have for Cora (the bare bones thing that stays the same for her no matter what universe she’s in/who I roleplay with) is that she is the daughter of the Queen of Hearts, completely believes the throne of Wonderland belongs to her and her alone, and that she has “slips” into insanity- and these slips almost always terrify her, yet also entice her. Keeping these things consistent throughout verses and role plays lets him/her be a character instead of just a Mary Sue.

4. Do not make your character 100% perfect and/or a self-insert.

This is the kiss of death for characters. Your character has to have weaknesses. As tempting as it is to make your character superpowered and awesome at EVERYTHING, if you do this, your character becomes completely uninteresting. As an audience, there’s no reason to root for the character because they have nothing to overcome; as a roleplayer/writer, there’s no reason to use the character because there is nowhere to drive a plot. There’s literally nothing to write about. This isn’t to say that your character can’t have talents- they should! And they should be unique and special! But if they’re just wonderful at EVERYTHING, again, you’ve got nothing to write about. To give an example for Cora, she’s extremely insecure about not having magic, very impatient, and can hold grudges like nobody’s business. However, she also is amazing at throwing daggers. As a writer, this gives me a ton of places to go with her because her weaknesses/strengths give me a place of emotion to work from. If Cora was just wonderful…I’d have zip to write about. The other thing is (as tempting as this is), do not make the character a self-insert. Your character can share some traits with you, but they shouldn’t be you. Not only is that not roleplaying, but it also starts to get really muddied because any emotion from roleplaying comes over into real life (for example, if a character in an interaction says something mean about your OC, and your OC is a self-insert for you, you’re going to feel awful about yourself. Now, did the other mun try to intentionally hurt you? No. But you still don’t feel good, right?). Having a Mary Sue also tends to result in the character having no written weaknesses because as people, we don’t want to have any weaknesses/admit to our own (which is why I put these two bits of advice together). Let your character be flawed and talented and different, and also give you some creative space to work.

5. Pick a face claim for your character before you start writing, and don’t change it midway through role play (if you’re going to change it, do so early on).

This sounds obvious, but in my experience, it’s easier to write for a character if you know what they look like. Make sure you like your face claim! If you suddenly decide you don’t like them and change the face claim, it makes them almost less realistic- a real person cannot change their entire body. So your character’s face claim should stay the same for you to be able to write them that way.

6. Make a playlist for your character. Music really helps inspire me when I write (both fanfiction and roleplay). I like to make playlists not necessarily based on music the OC would like, but on music that describes the OC/you like/pumps you up. I have a playlist for Cora. Some of the music includes “Ways to be Wicked” (from D2), “Castle” (by Halsey), “Paint it Black” (cover by Hidden Citizens), and a nightcore version of “Pretty Little Psycho.” Just go nuts with music and have a ball.

7. Make sure your character is someone you would like roleplaying with/reading about.

The best way to make a character is to have them be someone YOU would enjoy reading about! If you find a character boring, you won’t want to write for them, and it will show. Pretend you are making a story for you! That’s how you make the best characters.

8. Have fun!

Again, sounds obvious, but seriously, have fun. Your character and you will be happier. :)

Bonus: Making face claims for the parents (if they are cartoon).

I hope this helped!!! Let me know if you need anything else!

-Ruby

#ooc #ask #asks #answered #asktheprincessofhearts #cora-theprincessofhearts #creating an oc #writing

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