#and now i just looked at it on mobile and the read more isnt there at all

[koipalm]

For sy attendant au - what are SQQ attitude and feelings towards SY, if you don't mind me asking?

Because what I read so far hadn't painted him in good light. Like sure - he wants to survive and SY is an key asset in that, but the way he goes around it is... questionable.

so i answered this ask about it but i just realized that i dont think i tagged it with anything so. MY BAD thats my bad

the long and short of it is that sqq is definitely not a good person in this au lol. granted theres less of the overt child abuse because sy is able to stop some of that but sy still is very much a servant to him. one of the better things about this au is that sqq really just sees sy as a means to an end.. there is some attachment to him but sqq really does not really see sy as someone with his own agenda outside of like. living comfortably. its kind of good in a way that like sqq will grant sy a general amount of mobility around the sect because of sy's vague position and he doesnt reeaally care what shen yuan is doing if its not actively doing work for the peak or sqq.

sqq really sees sy as more of like. a political pawn? in a way. like he keeps sy close for appearances around the sect and he does in some way feel like hes doing charity work because by extension of working for him sy is granted a fair amount of power and status. but he doesnt care what shen yuan does in his free time or for fun. sqq is not the worst person of all in this au but he is definitely someone who isnt afraid of using others to help himself. that and like. its definitely a pat on the back for him of being able to say "well you were sent here to take my place and instead of killing you as was my right i HELPED you and i even gave you your own place on this peak and look at you now. youre mingling with some of the best and the brightest that the cultivation world has to offer" like nevermind that he isnt interested in helping sy with his own cultivation lawl

ok that wasnt short at all sorry but sqq is using sy but he also feels like hes helping him a bit. its a pretty unequal give and take so they definitely have an unhealthy relationship. that being said i think sy goes out of his way to misunderstand sqq a lot because he allows his hate of sqq to shape how he sees his actions.. so he doesnt put a lot of effort into actually examining how sqq differs from the book. also now that ive had a lot of time to think on this au i dont really think that sy's end goal in all of this would be to LEAVE as much as it would be he would want an actual firm position and leverage over sqq so he didnt feel so unstable. that and he does feel indebted to sqq. he could probably handle being around the guy if sqq didnt have so much say over his life

[hashtagloveloses]

so are you back on tumblr after a while or you're new? welcome! it's a lot nicer here lately, and, shockingly enough, the website actually works a lot better too, thanks to the hard work of a bunch of very talented people. the mobile app is constantly improving, but if you're on desktop and used to use things like missing e or xkit, the latest helpful extension is XKIT REWRITTEN, which you can go download and read about at @addons that was created by @april, who worked on new xkit back in the day and now works at tumblr itself!

here's some other helpful tips to know:

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[the-s1lly-corner]

can i req jax x reader angst? o-(-( been brainrotting on this idea for so long now; jax goes a little overboard with his joke or prank and reader gets upset by it.. but he doesnt really approach reader to say sorry for a while because he doesnt really know how to? so it worsens the situation? thank uuu!!!!

Severed ties (jax x reader)

There will be NO!!!! Comfort here!!! I want pain!!

Written this as platonic !!

Not proof read and written on mobile!! Yahoo!!

Honestly I love writing angstier stuff, like

Idk I like exploring the topic and the feelings

Jac in general does not seem like the type of person to apologize. It hurts his pride and ego, and really in his eyes everything he does is "all in good fun", or as a means to entertain... himself, mostly

What, is he supposed to apologize because his little joke made someone upset? That's his thought process, I think. Like unless there are huge consequences or he is actively trying to better himself I really don't think he would give a sincere apology, you know?

Like imma be so real here, I know I usually portray jax as a prankster but so far he's worse than that. He has pushed gangle at least twice (in the pilot, and in her tailer), he stepped on her mask and knowing him I wouldnt be surprised if it was on purpose. He just. Ripped zoobles arm off (like yeah sure it doesnt look like it hurts and it can be reattached, but its the idea that he just disrespects them like that), throwing a bowling ball at kinger, ect ect ect

Like I think I down play how mean jax can be

I think a lot of this is caused by the digital world; given that hes probably gotten way too comfortable with the fact you cant get severely injured in the digital world or hahe any long lasting physical damage, you know?

Anyways onto the actual request

I think it's less likely to happen if this is a romantic relationship because I think at that point in time you guys respect each other enough to not be goofy and communicate stuff. As well as this, this prompts jax to try to tone it down.. can also see this happening if you guys are close friends

So really this can only happen if you guys are only like. Normal level friends, because otherwise jax at least learns remorse and tries to be less. Uehdjcf.. you know?

Like I love jax as a character and I enjoy writing him but I'm realizing just how assholish he is based on the pilot

Honestly to be friends with jax you're going to have to be able to have some kind of tolerance to his more tame everyday stuff... imma be nice and assuming the stuff he does above isnt in his usual league of asshole-ness... or maybe it is? I dunno

But some prank he pulls goes too far, and he laughs at you. Probably takes to down play it if you're actually upset, trying to dismiss it as a good ol fashion joke

If he gives an apology it's a half assed one

This leads to you not talking to him as much anymore, if at all

In fact, you may even go as far as to avoiding him during IHAs

And you know what

At first he thinks you're just being sour over his little practical joke

But overtime as you continue to bold your ground he starts to... actually feel bad

And if he does ever sincerely apologize, its likely two late

That's also assuming you dont abstract before then

God can you imagine that, I mean what's worse? Never being able to apologize because the person is effectively dead, or apologizing and not being forgiven?

I think this would push jax to try to tone down his antics

Like he wont totally stop, but it will definitely go back to the light hearted fun I like to headcannon it being when he first joined the circus.. before it got all.. meaner..

Boredom does terrible things to someone and given that the consequences of losing your mind in this place are huge.. I can't help but understand jax a little, assuming my headcannon is correct

Though again he might just be an asshole

While your friendship may be dead and buried now, at least jax learned a lesson that actions do in fact have consequences

And hopefully it sticks

[kewpidity]

posting my loz au here cause its like the third time ive lost it and had to recall and retype my thoughts about it, dont mind me or the terrible typos if you read it i was on mobile lol

okay so firstly, this is not a completely solid idea yet, the way i have the triforce divvied up is subject to change and also i realize there actually isnt that much emphasis on the swamp anyway, moreso im swapping their settings around but for now the vague idea is zelda - power, ganondorf - courage, and link - wisdom (this also reflects a bit more in their personalities, so we get a wilier zelda and a calmer link for example)

zelda is a young shepardess living in a nowhere hamlet in hyrule, feeling she's wasting away on the farm and hoping for a great big somewhere else, you know Hero Stuff. she lives with her two aunts (gotta get in that old lesbian rep) who are sheikah women that are also literally not related to her, who are set on keeping zelda on the farm, insisting that the world is dangerous and onlyl fools go out of their way to find it- in fact one would think that they were keeping her hidden away on purpose.

meanwhile, ganondorf is a diplomat from the gerudo nation, and a powerful wizard besides that. a strange and terrible sickness that seems to be magic based has ravaged his people, and desperate for a cure he didnt have the knowledge to make, he sets on into the world to search for anything that could point him in the right direction, in particular places of great age and magic, old temples, castle ruins, etc. all the while trying to keep ignore the gnawing feeling that he might somehow be the cause of the sickness because of a darkness thats been building inside of him the past year, right before things got bad. he doesnt know what it is but it scares him.

and then there's link, who lives deep deep in a forest (probably the lost woods). he was raised by fairies in some old hylian ruins choked with vines and impossible to reach without his assistance. he doesnt get much interaction with the outside world, and locals from the nearest town sometimes tell stories about a ghost that lives there that might help you out or might lead you further astray, so most people are smart enough to steer clear. he's lonely. he doesnt know where he actually came from, and it mostly doesnt bother him, but sometimes he feels a pull in the back of his mind when he looks at the words painted on carved on the temple ruin walls that the fairies never taught him to read, he always feels a bit like he's forgotten something and its Just out of his reach

now the catalyst for all of them meeting is ganondorf traveling through hyrule and stopping at the village zelda lived nearby, and when she heard that a powerful wizard from a distant land was visiting, she snuck out in the middle of the night to meet him at the inn, demanding that he take her with him. he was absolutely gonna say Hell No, but he notices the triforce symbol on her hand (i'll likely have them be a kind blobby birthmark that isnt super obvious immediately what you're looking at) thats v similar to his own, and that pesky darkness welling up in him has a v weird and strong reaction to her presence, and he isnt sure its a good thing, but its Something that must mean Something so he agrees to it

their travels lead them to the forest that link is living in, and they get horribly terribly lost and tbqh link considers just leaving them to stay lost forever, but he also feels that weird pull to the travelers that he does from the temple walls, and figures its worth helping them out because obviously he's curious about the feeling, and v much longing for companionship, like mentioned earlier

the overall plot is basically them going to the various temples, etc that ganondorf travels too (he's kind of in change in the au, since he's the oldest and Obviously most well traveled)

if it wasnt already clear, the darkness he's dealing with is actually the demon demise literally starting to take hold of him so he's got to push on for his people despite it (courage)

zelda is going on a more typical hero's journey sort of thing, where her resolve and overall goodness is tested through the adventure, and she has to find the balance of being righteous and Self righteous (balancing power)

link is kind of unknowingly a vessel for a lot of ancient knowledge that he doesnt know how to unlock, and is literally illiterate, so his journey is a little more vague but basically when he's the key to knowing what exactly to do about demise, maybe the language of the temple is a dead one because thats how ancient it is, and he can unlock the knowledge with some spiritual exploration (so wisdom)

zelda and link are the keys to getting rid of demise here, but none of them realize it

also ganondorf and link fall in love Obviously

[mbat]

!! these were made using bases !! the bases will be linked below the cut!!

the cut is so the post isnt too long to scroll past, but also i will be talking about the au in it!!

decided to draw my own take on adult flurry heart, mostly so i could draw my own take on opaline in the au where opaline is like a nightmare moon of flurry heart. if youre wondering who the third pony is, its chrysalis' disguise for the au, named gentle heart.

flurry hearts base:

opalines bases (one for the body, the other was only for one of the wings):

gentle heart/chrysalis' base:

i had to use bases because ive been in such a weird art block lately, i just couldnt draw bodies right, but i was having this idea and i just had to get it out of me lol. i drew everything else just fine, idk why i couldnt draw bodies. shout out to elementbases on deviantart for having a lot of good mlp bases! and organized into categories no less!

btw for reference for adult flurry heart i mainly used images of her only adult appearance which was in some mobile game ?? i never played it but its real and its the only time we see her as an adult, though i dont think we get any details about her aside from how she looks. i just wanted to say that cause idk how many people know about it.

also yes her cutie mark is different between versions of her

so this is an au ive been tossing around for a while, especially since it started out as a half-theory i had about g5 before it truly did set in that they were just fucking up the entire thing (no hate to g5 or anyone who likes it but im personally just. disappointed), namely when they were like 'oh yeah opaline is just some alicorn that celestia and luna knew as kids and when they didnt want to play with her she held onto that for thousands of years and became evil over it'

also apparently the reason equestria is separated is because she just. idk whispered mean things in everyones ears? idk man i dont read the mlp comics, i plan to read g4s comics but not g5s. i didnt even know g5 had comics until i looked up why the pony kinds were separate.

anyway the idea was a theory because before all that we had no idea who opaline was, why there was some random alicorn, i mean, weve seen so few throughout g4! she was so mysterious for that, and i feel like the most popular idea was that she was flurry heart, since that was one of the few alicorns we knew of, and flurry is such a blank slate, especially since we dont technically ever see her adult form (with one exception)

i still personally think they shouldve gone that route but i know now that they wouldnt have, they probably wouldnt have wanted to give one of their previous characters, especially one like flurry, any bad traits or make her a villain, even though it would be such a cool idea. not to mention, they couldve redeemed her? idk man. worse villains have been redeemed lol

on to my au though. i wanted to keep it feeling like it couldve been canon but also stretching it just a little bit to make maybe more sense and also be more my creation, yknow?

we see at the end of g4 that chrysalis is trapped in stone alongside the other two villains she was working with, but we also know that these stone prisons can still be escaped, as we saw in discords introduction. my idea is that the stone is kept locked up, but unattended to, and she escapes, though her fellow villains dont. the specific details will be saved for if i go more in depth on all of this somewhere else lol

she develops a plan, that being to disguise herself as a normal pony, and to become staff at the crystal empire castle. that disguise is gentle heart, a name she literally made up because she was mocking the 'stupid' (from her perspective) names that ponies have, and she just kept it. while she works at the castle, she gets close to a young flurry heart.

she acts very extremely sickeningly nice and sweet in this disguise, but theres an uncanniness to it, a disingenuine undertone that is only noticeable when youre looking for it, really. flurry heart comes to love and trust her as a friend, and gentle heart isnt seen as suspicious to really anyone in the castle. people still think chrysalis is trapped in stone, after all.

her next step in the plan, however, is that when no one else is around, she shapeshifts herself into cadence or shining armor, and acts like a horrible parent to flurry heart. this creates a deep disconnect for flurry, as one moment her parents are the best ever, and the next they arent. if flurry tries to bring this up to them, they have no idea what shes talking about.

flurry begins to confide in gentle heart about this, and gentle heart begins to plant the idea in flurrys head that she should run away, and that gentle could run away with her. after a while of this, flurry finally decides to do this.

they run far, far away together, flurry being a child/young teenager, and they hide where no one else really goes, far from towns and pretty much any ponies. (this location hasnt been chosen yet but its not the mooost relevant? the basic point is that theyre hidden away) and they set up a home here.

soon in, gentle heart makes a decision. she shows her true form to flurry heart, a flurry heart who was never taught about how changelings used to be before their reformation, as her parents thought it was a conversation for when she was older. they didnt want her to feel paranoid, or scared. the changelings she knows are bright, and covered in generally round shapes. theyre not like the jagged and dark chrysalis.

gentle heart tells flurry that she was cursed. that her pony form is her true form, but she was cursed by the princesses to be in this form. being in her pony form drains her of energy, her changeling form recharges that energy. really, its just her excuse to not need to be in that pony form anymore. she tells flurry that she was cursed falsely, accused of a crime she did not commit. that she was made to work at the crystal castle so an eye could be kept on her. she asks to be called chrysalis, as being called gentle heart in this form feels wrong.

chrysalis right now is the only person in the world that flurry heart trusts, so she accepts this as truth.

as flurry heart grows up, chrysalis begins to plant ideas in her head that the other ponies are awful and horrible, just like her parents seemingly were. that flurry heart is better than all of them because shes not horrible, and on top of that, shes a natural alicorn. there hasnt been a natural born alicorn in thousands of years before her. flurry heart begins to believe all of this too. she doesnt have anyone or anything else to tell or show her otherwise.

these dark beliefs warp her appearance overtime, making her go from her parents daughter, into what we know as opaline, akin to princess luna turning into nightmare moon. she becomes annoyed with, averse to her cutesy name she was given by her family, and adopts the name opaline, both because of her crystal cutie mark, and because part of her still thinks of the crystal empire as her home, though now more like its hers to own someday.

speaking of, into her adulthood, opaline and chrysalis form a plan. a plan to take over equestria. the idea of being the ruler of all of pony kind was a natural conclusion that chrysalis wanted opaline to make, and so she did. their first step was to invade the crystal castle and take it over.

chrysalis tells her that cadence was never a fighter, so she shouldnt be an issue, but shining armor would be. if both chrysalis and opaline combined their power, they would easily overpower him and anyone else daring to fight them. the thing is... this works.

for a few reasons, actually. people were shocked at the return of chrysalis, and on top of that, despite her warped appearance, opaline was recognized as flurry heart. there isnt exactly many alicorns, and especially none that look similar to her. there was a fight put up, but not at full power. no one wanted to hurt the lost princess.

she takes over the empire, trapping any who oppose her, especially her parents. she doesnt even give them the option to talk to her. she plunges the empire back in dark days, not in the way that sombra did entirely, but still. shes strict on her subjects, and begins to make them like a military, planning to use them to invade canterlot. anyone who would dare come to attack the empire would be held off.

after she knows her subjects are loyal (terrified), and properly molded into an army, she storms canterlot, chrysalis by her side. its a hard fight, but they do it. they trap the other princesses, and they take over.

opalines first rule of business is to make the crystal empire the new capital, the new seat of power. for a while, this is the most drastic thing she does, otherwise going slow with her horrid ideas and changes.

the worse comes when shes already caused distrust and discomfort among ponykind, pitting ponies against eachother. she begins to decree that ponykind must be separated by type, designating towns to each, forcing ponies apart by law. she made sure it was enforced. she didnt need ponies coming together to rise against her, so she forced them apart. the damage is done.

this of course doesnt last forever. twilight is free and gathers the elements, and they take opaline by surprise, ending her reign. they empty the empire and trap her alone in her castle. thing is, she also trapped them in a limbo-like state, along with the other princesses (and her father), as they had also tried to join the fight. and a final blow to her, chrysalis got caught in crossfire, and was seemingly killed. no one intended it, but it happened. opaline is devastated.

and now, shes stuck. trapped alone in a castle in the middle of a city. she has the whole city alone to herself, and all she has now is the items left behind by her people, and mostly books. she only ever sees them as fiction or propaganda though, refusing to take them to heart and accept them as truth. alongside reading and re-reading the books around the city, she schemes of a way out. she is not very successful in this for a long time.

the closest she gets to getting out is when she opens the barrier just long enough to see, and kidnap, a young unicorn. a one misty brightdawn. she forces misty to be her only companion in a long time, and raises her like a daughter, but not lovingly.

some stuff continues on similar to canon, like misty befriending the mane 5 and leaving opaline behind, but i wont say more because i can keep some secrets for myself :] i do have an ending to her story planned though!

also pls ignore timeline and other canon contradictions pls pls pls pls pls lol

[typekiku]

thoughts on TYPE MOON stuff

well these are my the type moon stuff i have read or watched or whatever so far. this is my opinion only so its inherently correct argue with the wall or touch grass as the youth say SO here it goes drum roll

FATE EXTRA

boring as shit. no joke im sorry its just booty cheeks but of the not sexy kind. its beyond mid its so mid i cant even act like i enjoyed it. it has an interesting concept and world sure but everything else is doo doo butter.

only good part is nero being hot asf and ig whatever servant there is because i only used nero (lmao i aint playing it all over again) she was funny at times

see shes hilarious at times... im sure CCC will change my mind... right? it has sakura what am i saying its PEAK

also fuck them for including arcueid in this crap

GARDEN OF SINNERS

i honestly dont have much to say about this one it never really clicked with me nor did i ever feel anything about it... BESIDES TOUKO

TOUKO IS SO HOT OMG

clears throat

that aside yea i genuinely dont have any opinion on this series of movies good or bad besides movies 3 and 5 which were my favorites

maybe i need to rewatch em one day and really try to get into it

FATE STRANGE FAKE

my favorite spin off in the whole fate franchise. it has some of my absolute favorite characters and GIL like what else would one even want in life amirite

some of my favorites are:

Richard: the absolute goat and one of my fav servants ever

Enkidu: i want a spinoff of gil and enkidu... is that so hard to ask??

Flat: my son

Jack: my uhhh child ig

alcides: the closest we will get to archer herc but just pure cool regardless

hansa: cyborg priest. nothing gets cooler then that

and many more im already too ti- FILIA - red to mention

i've only read up to volume 7 so i gotta get to reading the rest soon

its just pure chaos and is fun while doing so despite being slow as shit

FATE GRAND ORDER

ok this is the most complicated series here in a way since its so incredibly mixed.

there are some of the highest peaks in fate and then some of the lowest lows so lets see

Highest peaks:

babylonia

Camelot

lb5 (YES olympus and atlantis im tired of acting like olympus isnt peak NO heian kyo its mid)

LB6

the rest of the lostbelts are good but not that good

goetia is an incredible villain

lowest lows:

first five singularities

solomon im sorry the stuff with goetia was peak but the rest was average

gameplay

gacha

serious lack of male summer servants like cmon i wanna see them abs

overall fgo is alright but some parts of it is straight up incredible HOWEVER all of it is seriously held back by being a gacha mobile game and has to work around that limitation

also it has barghest whom i absolutely adore

also fuck fgo for forgetting medea...

WITCH ON THE HOLY NIGHT

now this is peak. the most gorgeous tm work by far i have to say its simply an incredible read all around. even tsukire did not look or work or sound as good as mahoyo did even tho it came out almost ten(?) years after

on the story front i loved it too with a special shoutout to soujuuro being one of my favorite characters in TM (i say this often not my fault type moon keeps releasing bangers)

however mahoyo has two issues for me:

the story is clearly incomplete: i dont mean its just nonsense or whatever but when nasu said its the first of a trilogy you can just feel that in the story with alot of things being left in the air. this wouldnt be an issue really if mahoyo 2 wasnt basically dead....

i didnt vibe with the slice of life scenes as much as i usually do in nasu works: this isnt a flaw in the story more so i just didnt like em idk how else to word that

mahoyo is a great read however and i highly highly recommend you read it or else

it also has touko enough said

TSUKIHIME (original version)

Greatest of all time. Zenith of the medium. Hallmark of media. Gold standard of storytelling. Apogee of creativity. Vertex of invention. Crest of ingenuity. Acme of imagination. Pinnacle of innovation. Epic of epics. Legend among legends. Peak fiction

ok fr tho its actually incredible and you should read it right the fuck now

all of the characters are simply chefs kiss. while the visual novel is incredibly dated and the art is even worse you have to understand this is nasu and takeuchis first ever visual novel made on a barely existing budget.

boy do they make up for that.

the vn is split into two with a near side and far side.

while the near side is really good with arcueid and ciels route (ignore how ciel was actually really fucked over even in her own route its laughable and my girl deserved better) the far side is so much more better and really is where the soul of tsukihime and shiki the main character lies

i cba to review it properly besides saying PLEASE READ IT RN or ill cry and you dont wanna see that do you....

heres my ranking of the routes btw best to worse:

hisui

kohaku

akiha

arcueid

ciel

shoutout to satsuki you finally are gonna get the route you deserved

KAGETSU TOHYA

um it has some cool lore and some really good short stories and... yea thats about it...

dont have much else to add...

play it with a guide because the structure of the game is abysmal

FATE STAY NIGHT

what is there to be said about such a masterpiece? what else could be written about fsn that hasnt been written before? i am but an ant in the shadow of the giant that is FSN only seeking some crumbs to feed and live off of. idk what that means but it sounds cool.

FSN is simply tms best work all around. while i prefer tsuki over it and find the tsuki side of TM more interesting FSN overall is much stronger on most fronts but especially its main characters

Shirou emiya is simply the goat nothing else to be said tbh

heres my ranking of the routes:

issei route

heavens feel

ubw

fate

FATE ROUTE MUST BE REANIMATED RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SABER DESERVES TO HAVE A PROPER ADAPTATION RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

we need more medea and kuzuki holy shit are they cute

FATE HOLLOW ATARAXIA

thank you type moon for making a good kagetsu tohya. its actually impressive just how much better this is then KT like seriously what the fuck did they take to drop this banger of a vn

KT had such shit comedy i didnt even giggle throughout it but THIS

THIS is a emotional rollercoaster of a whole different kind.

introducing the third (arc and medea are first and second) love of my life Bazett and angra we go through an incredible main story intermingled with hilarious and wholesome slice of life scenes that never overstay their welcome

this vn completely changed my opinion on some characters especially illya who went from someone i was kinda 50/50 on to adoring her overall

ALSO MEDEA SCENES YES I WON MOTHERFUCKERS I WO- huh? whats that? fgo basically replaced her with medea lily?

one hour of sobbing later

if you have read fsn and not FHA then i must ask you.. wtf is wrong with you psycho? you like missing out on good things? that wouldnt be me is all im saying

read it.

(in case you're wondering yes there is someone i deliberately didnt mention because my opinion on them is too complicated)

TSUKIHIME REMAKE

im not a fan of remaking classics on the level of tsuki. with all its flaws i still find the original to be good enough to not need a remake...

UNTIL I READ THE REMAKE

this is how you do it folks. the story was elevated on nearly every level and if it was the complete story id say its the best ever in existence ever forever fr. its just that good.

there are three things i really want to point out:

while maybe goin overboard i really liked the buffs all the characters received and in general the whole worldbuilding is so much better now with idea bloods and principles and vampire hierarchies and arcueid inflation scenes (heh) its just epic

ciel got a so much better route that actually feels like a ciel route and not just arcueid route 2 electric bugaloo (and getting fucking cucked)

noel is peak

this is peak type moon and when red garden comes out it will be even BETTER especially with satsuki route because satsuki deserves it

there are some other short stories i havent mentioned like garden of avalon, notes, MAGNITUNING (look it up you wont regret it) its all great and worth the time of reading

eventually i wanna play CCC and read some other stuff like maybe prillya DDD, fgo jp like lb7 traum and whatnot

i just wrote this for fun so dont really take anything i say seriously except for the teeny little part where im inherently correct.

uh if you are reading like or share or whatever tf it was idk

ciao

[cupidsintern]

rosemary, fennel, and rue - part 1

Saltburn (2023). A Hamlet-themed, posthumous Venetia Catton character study.

// read on ao3 //

“There’s rosemary, that’s for remembrance.

Pray you, love, remember. And there is pansies,

that’s for thoughts. . . .

There’s fennel for you, and columbines.

There’s rue for you, and here’s some for me; we

may call it herb of grace o’Sundays. You must wear

your rue with a difference…”

- Ophelia, to Laertes, Hamlet, 4.5. 

–

Ophelia tastes blood in the water. She feels the pond threshes against her legs-  no. That was before. Now the bathtub is filled with nothing but her. 

Blinded and cold, she cries out for Laertes- sweet brother, twin heart-

No words burble out of dead fish lips. She screams, and is silent. 

There is no blood in the bathtub. 

No body.

No water. 

Just her.

-

Venetia read Hamlet in sixth form and it was the most boring piece of shite she’d ever laid eyes on. One of her dorkier mates had been on about the imagery or something, and then been cut off by another of them shouting “faggot!” and fallen silent. 

“I like Hamlet ,” Felix had mumbled when she recounted the event to him on her new mobile.

“You would,” She scoffed, chipping the varnish off her pinky nail methodically. 

“And I don’t like when you and your friends use words like that- it's gauche.”

“Oh, you are such a bleeding heart, Felix!” She rolled her eyes hard enough that it hurt. “I’m not fucking homophobic or anything- its just a bit gay isnt it? Its all so terribly droll and dramatic-” 

“If you mean the homoerotic themes present in the text, then I agree-”

“I’m hanging up on you now!” Venetia held the receiver farther from her mouth. “Call me back when you've extricated that stick from your arse. Kisses!”

Felix probably didn't even know what “homoerotic” meant. He was always trying to sound smarter than her.

–

Ophelia rises on unsteady legs, and though the bathtub is long dry, her hand slips on the rim. Her hair and wrists drip unceasingly onto the floor, pink water trailing wherever her feet meet cool tile.

She flats her hands against the mirrors, throws open the cupboards and drawers-

Laertes is here! She knows it! He is always nearby at home. And look, here are his things! Hair gel and suncream and electric razor all in a row. She draws up a bottle of cologne, half used, and delights in it- until it slides from her slick hands and smashes into crystalline pieces on the floor. 

The sound scatters her. 

She is gone when footsteps quickly approach, and shaking hands, perturbed and paranoid, pick the glass off the ground, shard by shard.

– Venetia and Felix were ferried home from their respective boarding schools every first Friday of the month. The Cattons prided themselves on being more involved parents than most, and lauded these weekends together as crucial to their close knit nature as a family. The children were, of course, always promptly returned by Sunday night. 

It was on such an occasion that, at dinner, Venetia had attempted to pull attention to herself for once, announcing she had been cast in the school play. 

“Oh that's wonderful darling,” Her mother began immediately. “Such a good outlet for your unique energy- you know, we all need a means to get the attention we feel that we deserve-”

Venetia was enduring this backhanded praise with a tense smile, grateful for at least feigned interest, when one of the servants walked in with the telephone on its little tray. 

Elspeth turned all the way around in her chair to inquire about the interruption, when it was announced that the call was from her sister and fairly urgent. 

“Oh darling I’m so sorry to interrupt you- so dreadfully sorry-” 

“It’s alright.” Venetia heard herself say, already returning to the recesses of her own head for the night. 

Elspeth hurried from the room. 

“What’s the play?” Her father said, still looking at the book set next to his plate. “Nothing terribly vulgar or American I hope.”

Venetia opened her mouth to reply when once again, a servant arrived to say Lady Catton had requested his company in the drawing room, sir.

Her father left the room without any gesture at apology. 

Venetia sat in silence, watching their spring crystal glitter in the candle light of the table. 

“You’re doing Shakespeare right?” Felix snapped her attention back to the here-and-now. 

She blinked at him, gratitude making its uneasy way into her expression- she could never tell when he was mocking her. 

“Yes.”

“You hate Shakespeare.” He grinned.

She smiled back. “I got a lead. I’m Ophelia.”

After dinner, Felix had sat with her on the stairs listening to their parents bicker in the second drawing room. Only snippets drifted up, but they got the gist. 

The shrill bird call of their mother: “... Teenage rebellion…”

The low scoff of their father: “...Unnatural…”

“Farleigh, of all children. Our Farleigh!…”

 it’s a phase, darling. Just a phase…”

“...Thinking of sending him here. Might straighten him out- oh don’t laugh!...”

Venetia looked up from her intent eavesdropping to cast a gleeful and scandalized glance at Felix. Only he didn’t share her sentiment as he usually had. His face was ashen, eyes still downcast. 

She leaned closer to him, inquiry in her voice “Felix-”

“I’m going to bed.” He stood up suddenly, step loud enough to be overheard. “So should you. It’s poor form to listen in.” 

Venetia scoffed in disbelief, but Felix was already too many paces way. 

–

When Ophelia comes into herself this time, she is dressed. Still soaked in penny-scented water, still shivering, but dressed. The translucent white of her nightgown, pinking every time she oves to wipe her hands on her stomach, clings to her skin as she moves through the halls of the house. She lets her fingers trace the seams of the wall paper where it meets the wainscoting, stoping here and there to admire a work of art she feels the memory of bating agait sthe panes of her mind. Like a million little moths…

Moths. 

Her stomach turns, like fear, like sorrow. She feels sick, and walks on. 

She is blind to the man in the doorway behind her, just as he is blind to her, but he can hear the creak of the floorboards, the tap-tap-tap of her fingers and the gentle scrape of her nails. 

He dares not voice the possibility of someone else in the house. Instead he blames the servants, or his middle-aged hearing, or the wind, and shuts the door. 

This sound startles Ophelia, but when she looks, no one is there, and she realizes she is near her parents bedroom. The warm sensation of stepping into the place she fled from her nightmares overwhelms her. And here is her father! He sits by the bed where his mother lies. Their hands intertwined.

She runs to them, relieved- perhaps they know where Laetres is!

But they do not move. 

Her mother sleeps. Spectral chest rising and falling rhythmically. Her father watches, motionless, sighing with occasional devotion. 

Neither can see her. 

Neither ever will. 

Ophelia sinks to her knees and begins to cry. 

This keening wail drips from the walls, pooling and spilling down, down, into the ears of Oliver Quick, as he tries desperately to ignore what is undeniably the voice of a girl fifteen years dead.

//part 2 coming soon//

[hellsbroadcaster]

🔥🔥🔥

Send me a “ 🔥 “ for an unpopular opinion. Bonus points if you include a topic. ( IE. shipping, roleplaying, ect. )

Okay. I struggled to come up with some topics to talk about for a while plus just issues through the entirety of this week. BUT I FIGURED IT OUT.

🔥 - PROMOS. tbh, promo's main use were to help roleplayers find other roleplayers, to spread the word about your blog and find more partners and people to make friends and broaden your experiences with learning about new and exciting fandoms. Now I just find them tedious, and annoying to make. if you aren't a popular blog the odds of your promo being reblogged and spread around is so minimal. it also just feels like clout chasing at this point. and yeah nothing wrong with reblogging your promo and having your friends hype you up, but then ppl wonder why they think the rpc is so alienating? cuz someone else will reblog their promo's expecting the same thing and they don't get it and then they feel left out. but if its just so you can get some nice thrown at you, it just feels like more clutter for my dash especially if I'm already following you. now if you're a NEW blog. if you just joined a fandom, and you want some exposure, I'm down for that because that is what a promo is supposed to be for.

🔥 - Personals. I actually like personals. sometimes personals care more about what I post than my own followers. i get ppl being upset if they reblog their threads, but liking your posts? and maybe reblogging a headcanon or something but idk i guess for me that stuff just doesn't bother me. I love when people reblog my headcanon and they agree. or they add onto it, with their own thoughts. or they tell me how much they love it. makes me feel seen. makes me feel cool. i just think people forget that tumblr is NOT a roleplay site. yes, we found a use to tailor it to our hobby, that doesn't mean everyone who comes across our blogs know that. they arent apart of our community, what makes you think they have to abide our guidelines for it? tbh, roleplayers have just gotten entitled to thinking that tumblr is supposed to bow to our whim. we share a space with non roleplayers. to demand, and just expect ppl are just going to see your rules and read them and respect it rght away?? come on ya'll. we know to look for rules cuz its what we've been doing for years, but you can't expect that from strangers who are likely mobile bound just seeing something you wrote in the tags. its gonna happen. i just dont like the mannerisms some people have with them. you dont gotta be rude about it. if its really bothering you just block them and be done. problem solved. going out of your way to make posts about how annoying they are is just unnecessary.

🔥 - duplicates. this is one is gonna get me fired but oh well. Ya'll we have GOT to love ourselves better. because it is plain and simple insecurity for why people feel they cant talk or write with duplicates. i know it does deeper in some cases, like your current partner leaving you for the shinny new roleplayer of the same muse you write. believe me I've been there. but fuck those people. when are we gonna stop letting others dictate how we feel about ourselves? i hate seeing shit when a new roleplayer pops up with the same muse and suddenly you get the vaguing posts about 'suddenly feeling very doubtful of my portrayal' like its not obvious you are threatened. and in this fandom??? we're i follow like 30 different alastors?? lucifers?? Angels"?? all different, all got something to add and share. i got news for you but your portrayal isnt the only ONE. its not the end all be all. and yes I talk to my ego all the time, cuz there are some muses i write where i'm like I AM THE GOD FATHER OF THIS MUSE. but thats me and my own pride, doesnt mean anyone else who writes this muse is less than me. or i'm suddenly less than them. and there are portrayals i dont fuck with. i simply just do not look their way. but theres always muses i love roleplaying with duplicates cuz its FUN. also being able to talk to people who love this muse as much as you?? learn to stop looking at everything like its a competition and things will not be as stressful. its what makes this hobby unfun when you let those insecurities eat you up. im not saying its not valid, and im not saying you cant be upset, but what does it really do for you? what would happen if you just went and talked to them? imagine it goes well? you make a new friend. dont deny yourself opening a door just because you are scared of what 'might' be behind it. and its something I am learning and teaching myself. our issue is we all wanna be see, and heard. we all wanna be the absolute best. we wanna have the best portrayal like this sort of acknowledgement does anything. cuz while I know ppl love my own portrayals, still doesn't change the fact that i got issues and i cry myself to sleep still. the 'love' i get on here, ain't a fix. and if you think seeking validation on tumblr dot com is gonna fix you? its not. the attention and love we seek on here is just a placeholder, its us using this as a distraction from actually fixing our problems, and turn i still see how so many of us are unhappy. let it go.

[bitchapalooza]

Piers being actually kind of weird is one of my fav things to think about tho and I'm gonna spew about.

Like Piers is adhd-autistic. He takes medicine for his adhd so he can actually function right enough to survive in a world of too much going on, even tho it kind of makes him seem a little too low on energy. And when he's off his meds, it's like a free comedy show. Like he's not the best when it comes to calling in his refills. He doesn't hate talking on the phone, he just doesn't know how to carry a conversation on it because he cannot see the person in front of him. Anyway, there can be like a week at most before he finally gets back on them sometimes, but most times it isnt really that long. And in that week it's always a treat. Because he unmasks at home. So it's all out there. He has breached containment. No one can tame him now.

I think he vocal stims a lot, mostly with thinking outloud but also word repetition.

Piers: Squirtle are like mobile homes but alive. They have houses on their backs. Why didnt WE evolve to be like? I wouldn't have to pay rent because I would have been born with my house! Could you figure that? Not paying rent. Never having to worry about homelessness. ...anyway, itS FUN TO STAY AT THE Y M C A! *continues the song in a mumble as he continues washing dishes with a little dance*

Gordie, to his phone, which is live streaming: This is what I live with. All you Piers simps are attracted to this. And I live with it. Yeah, I am dating that. We share a bed. Imagine waking up to this everyday—

Piers: What up, I'm Jared, I'm 19, and I never fucking learned how to read!

Gordie: I know why I'M attracted to it, but why are YOU GUYS attracted to it?

And also

Piers: Hey, babe, look at the new lamp I bought today put of pure impulse.

Gordie: Its a mermaid with her tits hanging out. I love it actually.

Piers: I know right! It's fucking gorgeous! We can use her nipples as a key hook. I mean look at how wrong they sculpted them. It's so bad. I want twenty more of them.

Gordie: Okay but we have to put it away when my mom visits.

Piers: But I want to show off my mertitties! Gordie, it's imperative I show everyone my fishy-tits. Like it super important people see my boobie-buoies. My—

Gordie: Okay! Okay, Piers, I get it. You want everyone to see your pornographic lamp. I understand.

[sunrayretriever]

ok so im gonna put this one under a read more since its just my thoughts and not actually like. safety information that everyone should know (again nobody is obligated to read especially this because its fucking long and just a heads up im gonna get kinda gruesome so :\ but if u read all the way thru then u are a real one and i wanna kiss u sloppy style

meyah okay so. follower, come here im gonna tell u something. im not a professional. im not a meteorologist. all of my research and information is found online and by myself. but i have seen the damage that the earth inflicts on us. it is not an act of god, and i really dont care for when people say 'mother nature is pissed'. this is real. this is real life. the damage done to people is real. lives are torn apart. entire families are wiped away with the debris of their poorly constructed homes. if you survive, theres a million different ways you could be injured, and not just physically. the trauma, the grief, the emotional pain of losing not only lives but your home, your business, your car, your pets, your livestock, your city's infrastructure, your community... to lose it all is something that makes me choke up just thinking about..

ive seen videos of people huddled in shelters above ground screaming and crying and praying and the sound of wind and glass crashing and debris flying and sirens going off is pure horror.

something even more terrifying is videos of people STANDING NEAR WINDOWS AND GLASS DOORS AND EVEN OUTSIDE during tornadoes. glass nails 2x4s bricks furniture cars. they become bullets in those winds. wood can get embedded in telephone poles. do you know how incredible that is? its hard for even me to believe!!! and here in the united states IT HAPPENS PRETTY OFTEN!!

cw im about to show u destroyed houses!! click away now if u dont wanna see but i really wanna show anyone who DOES wanna know abt the damage these fuckers cause!!!

so i want you to imagine here. this is your neighborhood. let's say we have an EF5, the most intense a tornado can get. now, a tornado can be rated an EF5, but that doesn't mean it does EF5 level damage THE WHOLE WAY. shall we take a look at how your neighbors houses fared?

mmkay so here we have EF0 level damage. about 35-40% of the tornadoes in the united states are rated this level.

not too bad! shingles are replaceable!

as we go on we pass by a house with EF1 level damage.

whoa! 35% of tornadoes in the US are this level!! but it's JUST the framing of the roof, right? thank goodness the house stayed mainly intact! hopefully everyone followed their safety plan and got to shelter right away!

looks like the house a couple miles down got hit with EF2 level damage.. their entire roof was blown right off, exposing the whole house and everything in it to rain, hail, wind and debris from the tornado... but its just the roof, right? i mean, only between 15-19% of tornadoes get this strong...

EF3 level damage. 6% of tornadoes are this level. everything but some walls and the roof were destroyed. where will that family live now? who's going to help them clean up?

EF4 level damage. almost all above-ground structures are vulnerable to a tornado of this strength. this was a well-built, permanent home. look at how the tree snapped. these winds can uproot the entire thing. thats a 4ft+ tall projectile. thank god only about 1.1% of tornadoes in the US are this strong... but what could be stronger than that?

EF5 level damage. 0.1% tornadoes are this strength. the last one on record was in 2013, moore oklahoma. it destroys virtually everything in its path, and can rip people out of their basements if their door isnt reinforced. the memories from that home are gone. completely gone. there are appliances and vehicles that were never found from tornadoes this intense.

and these are well anchored, permanent houses. mobile homes were destroyed and twisted back in the EF2 level. anything above that turns them into smithereens. lost to the mercy of the winds.

"so james," you say my lovely follower, "what's the whole takeaway from this? what's the point?"

and i grab your hand very gently. and i look you in the eyes. autism be damned, we are locking eyes. and i ask you this:

what if it was you? would you know what to do? are you weather aware? do you have a plan on where to go when your towns tornado sirens go off? does your own even HAVE tornado sirens? what about your pets? the people you love? do they know?

for a while i felt bad for.. trying to spread this around. i felt like i was being a downer. i dont know why but it felt taboo to talk about... i dont know if it makes people uncomfortable or scared but.. it needs to be talked about. we cannot stop the weather from doing this but we can make sure we're safe. we can keep ourselves safe.

i don't want you to be afraid of these storms. i know plenty of people who have a fear of severe weather. fuck, for the first 23 years of my life i was one of them! when the tornado sirens would go off, even for a routine test, my stomach would turn and i would panic. after the 2022 december tornado outbreak, i was watching the news and i heard about the damage caused. i thought 'what in the world could do something so devastating?' and i think it changed my life forever. i went from fearing them to ACTIVELY WANTING TO SEEK THEM OUT. and not only is everything about weather fucking awesome, i know how to keep myself and everyone i care about safe. i can tell my dad when to get ready to go to the shelter before the sirens go off. i can check the radar and tell my friends in other states how big the hail is gonna be before it even gets there.

and it.. really wasn't hard. even a basic sense of weather safety can help. knowing myths from facts helps EVEN MORE!

the earth is so beautiful, my friend. a tornado swirling around in a desolated field in kansas is something that even in video takes my breath away. when it rains, i run outside to see the rainbow that usually forms afterward.

but with this beauty comes a price.

[tyki-mikk-and-his-prickly-dick]

In relation to my previous post, I'd like to say we can all agree that unfortunately Kanda is definitely going to die, right? He is walking death flags from start. Plus, even if he does survive, dude isn't ever going to be happy.

Adding more under the cut cos im just rambling mostly lol. Might be jumbled anyway, im on mobile and tired

Its sort of why I added the poll option "supremely happy". We all know its not going to happen, bc in all honesty to give dgm that kind of ending ruins all the suffering we've had to endure along the way 😔 The poll option is my happy au in my head where Alma is alive somehow and Kanda can chill out. I hope Hoshino doesnt pull a jjba reset, if you know you know. Its in the realm of possibility given the hint into the Noah's backstories somewhat

On another note, pretty sure Lavi is going to live, or at least not die until he's rejoined Allen and the others. Ive never forgotten Hoshino saying that she wouldn't answer questions about whats under Lavi's eyepatch bc she had plans for him or something along those lines, im paraphrasing here bc i read this years ago so my memory could be off a bit.

Speaking of death flags, I fully believe Lenalee will live (as of rn anyway might change. We havent seen much of her for a while), but Komui is almost certainly done for. He's lived through too much and if he doesnt become an accomodator for innocence, then he's almost used up his plot use imo. Dont get me wrong, I LOVE that man to bits but cmon. Ciao

I dont wanna even think it but Johnny aint in safe territory out here in the wilds. Mans literally breaking his back for allen, doing the most, being the best, keeping allen sane in the strongest sense of the word, but bro. Allens breaking point? Gonna be if something happens to Johnny. He's had his moment with Kanda, had his moment with Link, Lenalee isnt around, Lavi is stuck in a chair for unknown amount of time, timcanpy is... well.. yeah, he doesnt have a strong enough bond with Tiedoll, and that just leaves Johnny. Idk if he'll die or not, but something has gotta happen to Johnny, and probably soon, and im not looking forward to that. Its another red flag for Johnny that Link and Allen have properly reunited now. I bet that Neah will take over and hurt Johnny, Allen will go ballistic and take back control as best as he can, link will have to offer some kind of support, blah blah you get the drift. Point is im real scared for Johnny

[kxmikomrade]

oh ho ho

why hello there

I just read through a bunch of the stuff you have about yourself, and now you have to deal with me <3

so first of all: i saw that you really liked blue period, and I was wondering how you'd recommend it? I keep on wanting to watch it but my mind goes "but you have this thing" and "what about the other three animes you're watching" but who cares! It looks really pretty tho. Also me and my partner are going to watch Bungo Stray Dogs together (eventually-) bc it's his favorite anime lol.

ok next point: WATERMELON IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE FOODS I LOVE WATERMELON. MINT CHOCOLATE CHIP ICE CREAM IS THE BEST. and i agree, winter and autumn are the best seasons. rain. rain is nice :).

third and i think final thing: you're learning japanese, you say? ok, i have a few questions for you. what are you learning it on? (i'm learning it on the demon bird app, aka duolingo). what words have you learned? what do you know about the grammar/word structure? and the scary one: have you started learning the terror that is katakana? (if no, it's just another alphabet with the same order and sounds, except different characters. i hate katakana :,>) because i can't type in japanese on my chromebook, i'll just use the romanji. But expect me to send you random hiragana and have you say what it is!

Kimu-san, yahho! Anata ga kakkoii to karai desu yo! (i promise you it's a compliment <3)

try to tell me what that means, and expect more random japanese in your future :)

anyways have a lovely day byeee <3

when i saw the 'oh ho ho' i heard french venti LMAOOO 💀💀

omg new moot guys NEW MOOT !! u match my vibe so <3

BLUE PERIOD IS SO SHHEHEHEHHE esp if ur an artist like myself, it gives u a different and probably more professional view of art ^^ For wat i like abt it, i'd say da characters and how theyre written. The main character is pretty relatable. Theres another character who has family issues and may be trans (or genderfluid? it isnt confirmed but she was born male, currently dresses feminine and hates it when people uses her dead name). Another one who was born a 'Genius' but doesnt really understand art, hes only doing it bcs its basically wat he can only do. Another character who'm gets compared to her older sister and so on. Even minor characters have well written stories I suggest u watch da anime THEN read da manga from da beginning :>> Sanaol may partner- jkjk ur prob fil but imagien having a partner 😭 my lonely ass could never U SHOULDD WATCH BSD!! I LOVEEE DA ENDINGS ITS SUCH A VIBE AND DA OPS R BANGERS UGH THE CHARACTER DESIGNS AND PLOT I WANNA 👊 ITS INTERESTING BUT I SUGGEST ALSO READING THE MANGA FROM THE BEGINNING SINCE THE ANIME SKIPS ALOT OF THINGS AND IT MIGHT GET U CONFUSED 😭😭 Also, hes so true for that, hes DEF a keeper 💪 unless hes a mori/fukuchi stan then ew no

YESSS WATERMELON AND MINT CHOCO CHIP ICECREAM LOVERSS <333 Honestly, cold weathers >>>>>>

Im currently just memorizing da basics; hiragana and katakana before i continue off where i left off in grammar and vocab (i'll most likely start over since its been arounf half a year and i have goldfish memory 🥲) Ive already memorized hiragana, now im going with katakana but im focusing on art lately since i just got my stylus back so im prob not gonna do it for awhile but i'll try to before may >:DD I currently only use 'Write it Japanese!' app on mobile, its REALLY useful, idk anything to help with grammar but my jp speaking friend recommends da book 'Minna no nihongo'. She used to be my jp study buddy but shes been VERY busy with uni lately so :'''D AND YES BBG (can i call u dat??) LETS PRACTICE TOGETHER <33 tbh it would be better if we use hiragana/katakana/kanji (i literally dont know kanji SOBS) since it helps us learn!! AND DAT WOULD BE FUNN

From just my understanding: 'Kim-san, Yahoo/hello! Youre a cool person [smth smth]'

from google: 'Kimu, Yahoo! It hurts to think you're cool' (pls get ur shit together google 😭😭i couldnt call my friends bitches lovingly bcs of u)

YES I'LL BE EXPECTING THEM <33 I HOPE U HAVE A LOVELY DAY TOO HON

LMAO WAT DO I CALL U?? I WANNA ADD UR MOOT TAG

[lorddarkkitty]

Alright it been a couple of days. I’m tired like a bitch but there nothing I can do. For some reason last night I when to sleep around 3:37am cause I wasn’t tired and woke up at 8am oddly and suspiciously enough also not feeling tired. I guess after work it would hit me. I had like two sandwiches after I got home. I order volume 5 and 6 of The Witch and the Beast manga. I’m so excited I love this series. I also need to read the manga Witch Hat Atelier. I got it the same time I did the Witch and the Beast Manga but I haven’t read it yet. Mostly cause I haven’t gotten a chance and I’m more preoccupied with The Witch and the Beast manga. I also need to finish reading the Hobbit I started maybe 2 or 3 months ago. It not that I’m a slow reader. I used to consum books when I was younger I just get distracted a lot now with tv or my own daydreams and music and time just flies. It not boring I watch the movies but I do have a hard time just sitting down and reading it but I’m almost done with it too . I’ll make time tomorrow to finish it so I can start the lord of the rings books too. I have so many books I need to read. I also have to re organized my bookshelf.

Also how come when I want to start a new paragraph, instead of making a small space I get this gigantic gap?????? I’m on mobile but that so weird.

But if I do it again the gap isnt that big wtf ??!???

Anywho I’m about to start silent hill 2 up and see how far I get I will update that. I also got pulse oximeter. It used to read ur oxygen level but I use it to get my bpm cause sometimes I wale up very aware of my heart beat and I can feel it. So I use to to determine if I’m having an anxiety attack even tho. The anxiety doesn’t set in till I see that my bpm is like 106. My resting heart rate is like 76. But I want to use it kinda while playing my game to see if it increases or not. I think that be fun. After that I may start up Skyrim. I also have dark souls remastered but I feel like I need to look up a video kinda to watch to see the mechanics and get tips on playing. I can’t remember if it hard or not.

Another biggish gap hmmmm. Tho in like and 1hr and 30 min I have to cook again. Yesterday I got the stuff to make negimaki but it didn’t turn out that way. Like it came out taking great when I cooked it I just didn’t have the energy anymore to continue with it. I also think I didn’t cut the beef flank right so I don’t think I could have rolled the scallions in it to cook. But I was already standing for like 2 and half hrs I was hurting. So I kinda just cooked it in a big pan with the sauce but I have left over meat I didn’t cook. I have to make more rice today but that takes 50 minutes in the rice cooker. It makes me wonder about killer from one piece and how one of his hobbies is cooking. Like how? Cooking takes so much effort and energy and I feel no enjoyment. (Is it suppose to be stealing my energy? )Just my inner rage especially when it not coming out like how I want it too. And he cooks for like so many ppl I get tired cooking for just myself. Sometimes I won’t even eat if I have to cook something. And like Eustass has like 5 fucking stomachs. I would love to eat Killer’s cooking.

[zawehzawah]

I wish u could do read more on mobile, but oh well u get to see my rambling raw

So ive been thinking about hasan ever since i watched kuncan daster's video abour the wizard game bullshit, and its been bothering me. Like...if he hates being involved in politics, if him being called out in this specific way (betraying trans peoples trust) hurts him so much...why nkt just quit?

I dont want him to, i do think hes done a lot of really great work, but like..idk. he's probably made enough money to retire by now, and look after his family. Holding on out of spite isnt gonna do anyone any good. I just dont get people doing that. If you dont even believe in hat youre doing anymore, then what os the point? Idfk.

[frostios]

Out of curiosity what's your discord like?

I would say its a relatively chill place! It was originally made to be a place for my stream stuff (announcements, clips, fanart if ppl wanted to draw some, etc) but its now become that and a general hang out spot for people who like what i do/are interested in similar things as me and others. It's been around for abooout 2 years or so now? Maybe like 25% of the people who are in there are active atm so if you join and the number +100 members scares you dont worry it isnt crazy at all lol. Only real requirements are you gotta be +16 (just for my general comfort as an adult!), the usual no terfs/terrible people, reads the rules, and make an intro then youll be allowed entry manually

Everyone in there is very sweet as well! Definitely a great place to meet new people and make friends! Lots of people in there play a variety of games if youre looking for groups to play with, and we also have watch parties occasionally whenever someone wants to host one. Its FUN!!!

If you want a breakdown of what channels are in there i'll list them here real quick (sorry im on mobile and cant do a read more)

The general chats, a live chat for either my streams or other streams, interest chat, media zone, funnie zone, pics, fight channel (you throw rocks at each other), gamer channel, the flushed zone (show off your bad/awesome taste in fictional characters), and then a bunch of art channels for sharing/talking about art, writing, cosplay, music, etc as well as a handful of voice channels

I also host server only streams in there every so often! Mostly art streams atm but i wanna get into playing every 2d sonic game in there as soon as i have time

TLDR its a chill place to talk to chill people and share creativity and have a good time ^_^

[atbgauge]

writing this on my phone and so naturally i'm gonna ramble hope its coherent... anyways thoughts on wuwa yaaay

there are story spoilers for 1.0 so do not bother reading if you have not completed it yet

i wonder what the hell they were even thinking in regards to releasing wuwa the way it did this year. i remember when rumors about the may release date were coming around and i didnt believe them because i felt like that'd be too soon, and that they'd probably release june earliest but around september latest but look where we are now HRRKFJFKF

i knew to keep my expectations low especially after participating in the beta and idk i dont think they'd rewrite and then have to reprogram & rescript and reanimate according to the new writing. i am very disappointed they went with the mass appeal route rather than giving us uhmmm something good and new. i know someone out there is gonna say "well its a mobile gacha game" but idgaf thats not really an excuse to me and i still think you can make something worthwhile and still deliver an interesting message

i dont think i'm ever gonna get the same creativity that f7d had but it'd be nice if these gacha game developers tried like... also like even pgr was more creative and this kinda isnt the post for it but i liked the beginning chapters idgaf. anyways idk i just wish they kept the original gloomy atmosphere as they teased wuwa and maybe get rid of rover or like. idk just dont make them self inserts for us and just make them actual characters or something. i'd rather see yangyang as the main character like we see how capable and knowledgeable she is and then she gets thrown to the side. oh well idk because of its format and its shift towards mass appeal and following the trends of today... we got this kind of game instead

genuinely there are some really cool moments in terms of animation, environment/set design, technology, 3d modeling but idk it kinda ends up being a mess for me because of the really poorly written story

acts 1-4 are idgaf central except 3/4 i guess because thats when scar appears or whatever and then we confront him and then we get that grand reveal that we'll be facing jue soon. scar..... idk i think he is definitely interesting and the fractsidus thing is cool too but we only really get to know them on a surface level and how they want us to join their side to cause the end of the world basically and they want to be in control and they want to worship whatever lifeforms that come from bringing the lament but idk just seems. not that all interesting

5...... is our introduction to black shores with a brief fan service moment which was kinda weird as fuck and then the second half is the experiments the savantes were creating for the tacet rain (whatever the fuck thats called) and i kinda didnt care for it too much because it just reminded me of earlier acts and its just more background on the lore and the 3 million terms it throws at you

6........ okay i actually sorta kinda liked this one because we kinda just got right into it but it still felt off to me. the game does literally tell you that an outbreak is gonna happen but it kinda just happens too quickly for me? i guess we got that brief moment with aalto looking outside and the retroact rain was forming and then cut to jiyan and getting more lore on him and the history of huanglong (which is a nice set up for his character quest later) and then it jumps back to us helping out in jinzhou's defense lines and everybody is there so it Feels like we're all contributing to fighting off the tacet discords

and the. there's the one part where we create a battle plan basically and that just felt so unnecessary like. what is the point of making rover do that just let it be an animated scene where they all discuss this together?? also jiyan YOURE THE GENERAL so YOU can do that yourself and those irrelevant npcs like that was a waste of time and if you select the wrong choice anyways rover talks it out in his head why thats the wrong thing and expects you to choose the correct one so its all very stupid

i mention this to say.... there are some very unnecessary cuts like this throughout all acts. like the heron fight before getting into dreamless' domain has a fade to black just for jiyan to say a singular line like "ok lets move foward" basically then fade to black and then back to gameplay like... why could that not have been a simple voice over line like in other quests. and again for that battle plan thing was just very unnecessary just animate that shit out or whatever. the cutscenes in this game are actually surprisingly very nice and they cut into gameplay pretty well sometimes so i dont understand why they just... didnt do more of that. i dont know why theyre not considering the execution of these things and the intention as well

idk hopefully they do more creative things, they've done that with pgr and i know pgr was made with unity and wuwa is unreal but idk like... we couldnt have finetuned things more??? we cant take more time to create some cool set pieces for this game and have cool animated events and cool programming/scripting???

i also hope kuro addresses optimization and localization issues too. i am amazed they still managed to screw up this games launch in the same way they messed up pgr's launches in all its servers its kinda amazing really

anyways stopping here because its late and this is getting long heres to hoping 1.1 is good and thanks if you read this far HRFGJHDJF