#and other ppl at the dorms. that i just cant help but wonder. maybe if i wasnt so cold and offputting.

[minglana]

god you can so desperately tell that spring is here..... kill me now

[sweet-xoxo-thatcares]

Roomie/Bro

So I got a roommate....well I haven't moved in yet.

um...idk if I should tell them im not used to sharing my personal space with others outside of my family.

Other than university dorms, I thought I would bee making enough after college to live alone. But yea, shit happens.

But what if they ask why my shorts look so lumpy if I get that craving to wear a diaper again on my period?

Or if they hear me talking to myself to try and calm me down while spooning and caressing my head and my chest?

There's a lot of self therapy I had to do to get through living with my mom and my grandma.

And yea, I still do them cause it made me feel safe to be alone, finally, at those times to emotionally release any pent up frustrations without someone telling me to shut up or go be quiet. It was annoying at how these ladies never truly knew how much pain and suffering I was in on the inside and shut off my voice to keep peace for them.

But what was love to them, if being me meant bringing my walls down only to get hurt, and me being insane and emotionally chaotic and unresolved...was some magic secret I kept hidden at how angry I would get.

I think I'll keep myself at a distance from my roommate even though we already seem to have so much in common gender wise and interests in history, music, cooking, and gaming. I don't want it to get weird if my separation anxiety kicks in so heavy from my parents and I start to freak out in front of them.

I wonder will they judge me too or actually reassure me that they're not gonna reject me for being different.

I finally got in touch with a therapist program to help pay for my visits for free, so we'll see how it goes. Also, he/they seemed very nice at understanding my trauma I've experienced with my parents as they went through emotional abuse before too from parents/family.

Im scared, but its a good kind of scared. Being away from mom and dad for too long makes me homesick, but I'll also miss my room on the 3rd floor near the attic.

Im glad my dad approved of it too, at 1st he said I didn't need to roommate and that I should just look for an apartment alone. But pontiac has noooooooooooooooooooo and i mean none available to even rent in, not even Auburn Hills that I could have afforded.

So I would have been stuck to check again for next year. Cause even the waitlists they had were already full. Thats bad when there's so many more ppl looking for a home or apt to rent and cant afford the higher ones at 900 or 1,000. Plus not many available either. Im pretty sure tenants are just staying and renewing their leases cause there's no where else available unless you go alllllll the way to Detroit or maybe Southfield.

Why the hell was it so easy to find apartments and low income housing in Grand Rapids, with a high ass real estate housing market, but in poor ass pontiac aint worth finding shit.

No way in hell was I finna just wait till January. I need an out asap before Thor and Thunder reunite my mother's hand.

Holidays are coming up and everyone in the house gets anxious and more irritable around this time of year....especially my father will be too because of his 1st christmas and thanksgiving without his mom.

I would be crying too, no matter what beef we had.

But he's a big guy, likes to hold in his pain, not even acknowledge it, like he's some cosmic robot.

You cant solve everything on your own Dad. Its ok to admit that you're hurt. You're allowed to feel, you're allowed to be in pain, you're supposed to be sad. Its ok to be sad and feel alone sometimes. Cause I feel it too. That need to not be alone this time of year, but because of a different reason.....Jay's not here and sure as hell wasn't last year Christmas either, no halloween, no happy birthday.....nothing. Not until mid-January with the most dickass response to me pouring my heart out to them 3 months before that.

Cliche. I was better off leaving and not saying anything. Cause she didn't care. And it showed. Who responds to somebody that left them, 3 months ago by saying "Did you send these long ass messages?"

That was the most irresponsible, inconsiderate, inhumane bullshit I ever heard. I wanted to knock their teeth out till bloody mary. Thats how pissed off I was at the lack of care and consideration for my feelings and even to what I had to say. And i said a lot of deep shit from my fucking heart, and this bitch didn't give a fuck. Dry ass, fake ass friend, fake ass love. She didn't care, cause it showed and still does...

Thats why I blocked her right after she sent that bullshitty ass text. And I was already miserable a few days before that text, because I kept dreaming about her and crying and cussing and yelling and screaming because I was so in love with her and yet i was in so much pain for being rejected and leaving her alone. Imissed her a whole hell of a lot more than how much she missed me.

And it showed because she's a dick, now a changed man, with a small dick. Who still acts like an even bigger dick to match the small dick they already had as a packer in their motherfucking jeans for desperate attention.

Yea Im glad im moving out, making a new friend, and not alone on the holidays this year. And im finally getting over that girl, that traitor. Im leaving him alone and moving on with my life, so i can be happy and stop being mad after a year of being angry at her ,her fiancé, my mom, my family, and God himself too.

I need a break and Jesus knows.

Better yet a vacation. Away from hell in Michigan.

[avpdpunpun]

i disappeared for 3/4ths a year here’s an update?

its been 4 months since my queue ran out and way longer since i wrote an actual post. 8 months about? i think i last posted when i impulse quit a job that was bad for my mental health and just kept getting worse.

sometimes i wonder when ppl who blog about mental illness disappear if they’ve died. there was a big user i used to follow who did, and i still occasionally think about it sometimes, so i figure its nice to post updates sometimes. and being able to look back on posts ive written and reflect on them/what state of mind i was in can be helpful even if it can be embarrassing/dangerous because its so easy to fall back into those thinking habits 

after quitting my job i did basically nothing for 6 months haha. at some point i managed to clean out my room which i had done the bare minimum on for years because of depression, took out more built up trash than i thought was possible to fit into my small space. its disgusting but the only thing i struggle to keep up with now at least is vacuuming and putting clothes away so my space is a lot cleaner and it makes me happier. your living space can really have an effect on your mood bless you marie kondo

after my post about having an anxiety attack taking my test i got my drivers license in march. i saw the same lady again after going somewhere else and i think she just let me pass because she felt bad haha. i never finished drivers ed and i still get anxiety about driving unfamiliar routes but my skills and confidence have improved a lot. i managed to drive 2 hours to a big city to visit a friend! i literally didnt have a choice in getting my license, but its still something i can be proud of. like, when i have to explain it to people, it feels extremely shitty that i didnt get it until i was 20, and only about 5 months ago too but... for someone who struggles as much as me, i have to be proud of it my small accomplishments or i’ll have nothing.

at some point something in my brain just snapped and i literally havent been able to cry? for a long time in those 6 months i felt like i was right on the edge of breaking down mentally but never actually crossing that line and it was honestly one of the weirdest things ive experienced. i almost wanted to have a breakdown again just to get rid of the feeling and reach a catharsis like... i used to be a fucking crybaby almost but i. cant. anymore. but i think ive mostly moved away from this point... still feel kinda weird tho.

i didnt end up signing up to a local school fo gen eds. its still on my mind for the vague future because there’s topics i want to learn about (psychology, natural resources, languages...) and maybe try to pursue for a career but really i just wanted a way to get out of my toxic house, even if it meant going into debt to live in a shitty dorm. 

in the last 30 days though life has been moving extremely quickly for me. i dont think i couldve lived with myself much longer being a useless adult basically living in my basement bedroom of my parents house, especially with my younger siblings getting nearer to adult milestones, plus my savings were starting to run out.

so literally next weekend, i’m moving out! and i make enough money right now that with the rough budget i have established, if its accurate, i’ll have a decent amount of wiggle room and hopefully wont be ruining my mental health just trying to make ends meet.

it took a long time of searching but i managed to find a job that hasnt made me suicidal and has slightly more than the MIT living wage for my area lol. im a janitor now! we’ll see how long it lasts but a lot of the factors from my last two jobs that contributed to my failing mental health are gone. i rarely have to interact with other people, and if i do its my coworkers, of who i tend to only see for minutes per day, or the other people working in the building i clean who at most i have to say hi and have a nice night to lol. i get to listen to music and podcasts for 8 hours and its very routine heavy. i have to clock out after the 8 hours is up so i literally cant be forced into overtime. a lot of people dont respect cleaning jobs like this but honestly who gives a fuck, its something i can handle mentally and support myself with. its still hard adjusting to 40 hours. i know its the standard, but the standard is rly tough for me, but i think i can do it long term.

all of this has been achieved through sheer self hatred and impulse alone, and im very nervous about moving in with 3 other people even if 1 of them ive known for 8 years, and i dont think its even properly hit me yet. literally cant register that i have to fend 100% for myself but also ill be away from my toxic family! i can bring my cat with me, who before this i got to see at MOST once a week!

a dude ive known online for two or more years is moving to my area too for college and he’s so sweet and kind, i feel better talking to him than i have 99% of people in my life and im so lucky to know him. ive been forced to talk about personal things i was kind of dreading (not his fault, just a result of our relationship going to go from online -> irl and things id have to address beforehand) and honestly i didnt even mind it that much when i just got it over with and talked about it to him! vulnerability is literally the thing i struggle with the most in interpersonal relationships and is a huge block for me in every way and in even the most mundane life situations but like... he’s honestly the best and im getting emotional writing this and its weird af because i straight up dont GET emotional about other people. ive absolutely developed a stupid fucking crush on him recently and i THINK hes been receptive to flirting and i cant tell if he flirts back because we already say i love you and are wholesome af but honestly no clue if he’s into (trans) dudes but honestly? even if it doesnt work out im so happy to be friends with him and im so excited to finally meet him!! i really think knowing him has helped me improve myself 

i’ve always thought that if i could literally just achieve the bare minimum in life that things would naturally get better. like i’m still mentally ill and get paranoid about peoples intentions and i think if my boss yelled at me id have an anxiety attack on the spot. im still depressed and hate that i have low energy and that it’s still rly hard doing basic chores. 

but like a huge part of my problem was that i felt like i literally couldn’t TRY to connect with people if i couldn’t face having to tell them bare info about myself, like “oh i cant drive” or “i dont have a job” or that i was living with my parents but not even making PROGRESS on getting out. like how could i make friends or go on dates if i literally couldnt contribute shit or admit these things i was so ashamed of? a lot of my self image was shaped by this because my entire life i havent been mentally well enough to do as well as i should have.

but like. i feel like im finally doing these basic things!! i dont have to hate myself so much anymore! i dont look badly on other mentally ill ppl who are less lucky than i/havent been able to do those things yet/might not ever and are still in the same situation i was 2 months ago but the self hatred is strong pls understand.

i dont know yet if i could afford twice yearly drs visits for meds or anything and probably not therapy. i dont even know what my insurance is yet haha. but i’ll see

i need to figure out at what point in my life im going to be able to never contact a single person in my family ever again, considering i’ll be a 20 min drive away and they will know the precise location of where i live, and if i’ll ever feel safe enough in society to start hrt but :^) you know :^) i can at least present more masculinely in the meantime!

i dont rly know how to conclude this... i’m not trying to brag either im just very nervous and excited about where my life might be going for the first time ever? maybe? in my entire life? i have no clue what to pursue after moving out, but i can figure it out. and just... that there’s hope even if youre as fucked up and mentally ill as i am lmao!

[wannasoftimagine]

imagine park woojin as your classmate

project partners to dating partners :’)

(( AS REQUESTED // omg since ure a woojin stan can i get a request where y/n and woojin study in the same course after his wanna one activities (before he debuts in brand new music) and got closer after a project andddd you can write whatever after that LMAO :^) THANK YOU ))

okay so ure a fan of wanna one

who isnt tbh

and lucky u bc it turns out tht ure going to college w the one and only park woojin!!!!!!! (srsly tho what r the chances)

u forgot tht woojins age is kinda similar to urs bc he always acts like a tough guy on stage or a little kid off stage and u forget that hes a student like u

anyways

its a little weird to get used to seeing him in person after all the pictures n videos uve seen of him online

like?? hes a Real Person??? what a wild idea

and even tho ure both in the same college course, u try to keep ur distance

as much as ud like to befriend him, hes still an idol (even tho he hasnt debuted w brand new yet) and its rlly hard for u to start up a conversation w someone famous

also ure lowkey worried tht its going to ruin how much u admire him, and that actually talking to him will destroy how highly u view him

little do u kno hes seen u around campus before n thinks ure pretty cute

;))

okay but anyways

u make sure to stay out of his way bc the last thing u want is to bother him by asking for a signature or picture or smthn

u try and keep a minimum of like 10 yds between u at all times

(bc itd be even more embarrassing if u tripped right in front of him and that was the first thing he noticed abt u)

but lucky for u, life doesnt care what u have planned

bc its only a month into the semester and u already have a huge project assigned

of course, it’s a partner project

it might be okay if u were able to choose ur partners, but ur teacher insisted on trying to help everyone “bond w their classmates” so its all completely random

unfortunately for u, u get sick the day that ur teacher assigns partners

so u have no idea who ure paired up with

ure stuck asking some of ur classmates, but none of them rlly remember

everyone was a bit busy stressing out over their own partners tbh

and u keep asking around a bit, but u only know so many ppl in the class so eventually u kinda give up and hope ur partner isnt too bad

u settle on focusing on ur other classes, studying for future exams and reviewing ur notes in the library

even tho ure not sick anymore, u still feel a bit drowsy from all of the different medications u took and all of the work u were trying to catch up on

so. all excuses aside u fall asleep

prob not the best plan esp since some of ur things are balancing on the edge of ur desk

but the heart wants what the heart wants, and it rlly wants to sleep

ure having a rlly weird dream abt pirate monkeys when ure jolted awake by someone bumping into ur side

u look up to see someone sprinting away from u and like okay. thts a little weird

u try not to think abt it too much bc ure still kinda sleepy

so u settle on gathering ur things so u can head back to ur dorm and decide whether or not u want to study, sleep more, or find something to eat

as u collect everything, u notice a little post it note that hadnt been there before

in messy handwriting, it says “i didnt want to wake u but im ur partner for the partner project. im woojin and u can text me at [xxx-xxx-xxxx] whenever u want to meet up i hope u sleep well”

u realize that ur partner is prob the one u saw sprinting away from u earlier after he accidentally bumped into u lol

somehow u momentarily forget that ur partner is THE park woojin and ure like aw cool this woojin guy seems nice

then ure like WAIT A SECOND

ure highkey in shock and keep pinching urself to make sure its real

so u end up taking the rest of ur stuff back to ur room and wondering how u should text him

eventually u decide on a simple greeting and ur name, and u ask him when hes free

u have to send the text and then throw ur phone onto the floor bc U JUST TEXTED PARK WOOJIN ABT MEETING IN PERSON. GOD BLESS

ure suddenly super grateful abt every decision tht led u to this moment

anyways

ur phone buzzes on the floor so u scramble to pick it up

only to realize tht its a text from ur mom asking how ure doing

u text her back and tell her not to worry, then attempt to clean ur room a little instead of waiting for woojin to text u back

u just finish reorganizing ur closet when he texts u

its a quick text, smthn along the lines of “im free tmrw afternoon, do u want to meet by the cafeteria” so u agree quickly and hope u dont seem too desperate

and u KNOW its not a date

u guys havent even spoken to each other before so???

but ure still rlly nervous bc its WOOJIN and u want to impress him, even if ure just going to spend most of ur time talking abt boring coursework

u both settle on a time to meet and u pretend not to freak out

anyways skip to the next afternoon

u get there a bit early but ?? hes there already ??? ldsjks

and he looks Really Cute like hes wearing a sweater and ripped jeans and looking like complete boyfriend material wow ure p sure u can feel ur heart stop in ur chest

hes a bit awkward but uve heard abt how shy he is so u try not to take it personally

as soon as he sees u he blurts out tht u look nice and that is not helping the way tht this feels like a date

u guys end up moving to a bench in the shade bc its rlly nice out and this way ure able to talk freely without worrying abt being too loud

he explains the project a little, and u guys go back and forth offering up ideas

he always nods super enthusiastically whenever u suggest smthn and its honestly the cutest thing uve ever seen

its so weird for u to remember that this is the same guy uve seen videos of online bc what the heck

anyways

neither of u are extreme geniuses in the class, but ure both still pretty smart

ure pleased to find tht u guys complement each other well, w different areas of interest inside the same field

it helps ur project run a lot smoother than u thought it would, so u guys split up the work and agree to do as much as u can before u meet up again

ur conversations are still a bit stilted bc ure both still shy w each other, but overall u seem to get along well so ure happy

u text each other every once in awhile to talk abt the project or ask questions

u meet up a few more times in the next couple weeks but its all work and no business

still, over time u find urselves joking around with each other a little more, teasing each other and talking abt urselves instead of the project

of course, all things must come to an end

so all too soon, the day u submit the final project arrives

and ure a little worried tht woojin is going to disappear from ur life again

bc maybe he’s only been this nice to u bc hes just a sweet guy, but as soon as the project ends he wont care abt talking to u anymore

after all, its not like u guys meet up for meals or to hang out that often - even when ure just relaxing w each other, theres always some part of ur convo tht centers around the class

so as ure freaking out over this

he texts u asking if u want to come over to his dorm while he submits it

and mb u guys can just hang out afterwards?

obviously u agree and u cant stop smiling

when u show up at his dorm, hes wearing sweatpants and a tshirt and he looks adorable as heck when he invites u in

u guys sit on his bed as he loads all the stuff on his laptop and u try not to be hyperaware of the space between u two

woojins also screaming internally but somehow u dont notice the way he keeps staring at u out of the corner of his eye

u click the “submit” button together and HIS HANDS ARE SO GENTLE also theyre shaking a little???? huh

u assume its just bc hes Extra Nervous for the project but honestly? no hes just never been this close to u and hes freaking out

but anyways

u decide to go out to eat off campus afterwards to celebrate being done

a lot of the places have long waits or are too expensive so u just eat at a chikfila

its rlly casual but its fun and u guys argue abt whether chicken nuggets or chicken sandwiches r better and u cant help but think abt how much fun ure having w hiim

u end up blurting it out to him on accident and ure v v embarrassed

but he laughs and admits tht he rlly likes spending time w u too

so u promise each other to keep hanging out afterwards

it gets to the point where weeks later, ure still texting each other to complain abt classes or ask abt the other persons day

it still feels like a dream tbh

but u guys enjoy each others company whenever u can

most of the time u end up meeting each other at the cafeteria or studying together in the library, but u both just rlly like spending time w the other person

this routine continues for awhile and its prob the best part of ur life

but at one point ure trying to sneak up on woojin and surprise him when u see him talking to himself

as u creep forward, u realize tht hes actually on the phone, and he looks kinda stressed

it feels a bit invasive so ure looking around trying to find a place to go while he finishes up his phone call

but then u hear him say ur name so. consider u INTERESTED

and he keeps getting flustered and shutting down anything tht the other person says which is weird bc hes p shy, but hes never usually tht adamant and blushy abt something

eventually he tucks his phone away and lets out a Huge sigh so ure like,, hey u good

and he laughs it off but u can tell hes a little antsy, so u decide to tell him tht u overheard a little bit of him on the phone, and u ask him what it was about

he literally turns into a tomato its so funny u wish u had recorded it

but hes like “HOW MUCH DID U HEAR”

even tho u tell him u didnt hear much, he refuses to believe u and he spends the next few minutes pouting

u keep trying to get him to talk to u normally, but he refuses

finally he ends up grumbling smthn and ure like ???

and after a few half hearted efforts to repeat himself hes like “just tell me u dont like me back”

and. WHAT.

he pouts again and its so sos sosososoos o so cute u think ure going to combust honestly

“i kno u heard me tell him tht i like u!!!! just tell me u dont feel the same and leave me alone to cry”

and u have to reassure him tht u definitely didnt hear that BUT ALSO what???

n hes literally mortified when he realizes ure serious

but he has this rlly cute determined expression like “ok well now u kno i like u!!!!! y/n, please go out w me???”

n its like OF COURSE and u tell him tht u like him too and he keeps smiling and acting shy

honestly u both just make each other super happy

when u start dating, its not too diff from when u were friends, except now ure more affectionate w each other

both physically and with ur words

he loves hyping u up, and u feel the same

esp when he starts practicing more to debut w the rest of the bnm boys

u support the heck out of each other and can always count on the other person to be there for u when u need it the most

honestly its super soft and ure totally proud to be a lowkey campus couple even tho u have to keep ur relationship on the down low bc of dispatch

still u both care for each other a lot and u wouldnt trade what u have for the world

[comicteaparty]

August 9th, 2018 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on August 9th, 2018, from 5PM - 7PM PDT.  The chat focused on Himawari Share by Harmony Becker.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

COMIC TEA PARTY START!

Good day everyone~! This week’s Comic Tea Party is now officially beginning~! Today we are discussing Himawari Share by Harmony Becker~! (https://tapas.io/series/Himawari-Share) For those new or in need of a reminder, discussions about the comic are freeform, so please feel free to bring up whatever you wish. However, every 30 minutes I will be dropping in a discussion question to help those who would like a prompt. These questions are totally OPTIONAL to answer, and you can pay them no mind if you wish. If you miss out on any though, they’ll be pinned for the duration of the chat once they’re posted~! Remember, constructive criticism is allowed, but the primary focus here is to have fun and appreciate the amazing comics that the community makes~! As a bonus, each chat a top comment will be picked and featured in the archives and on an ad for CTP! All that being said, let’s get started and have a great discussion!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

snuffysam

It's really hard to pick, but I'd say the Hyejung-focused parts (chapters 5 & 6) were my favorites. Focusing on her studies, not knowing what she wants to be, tearing out her roots to move to Japan, getting homesick and feeling guilty for it.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Hello!

snuffysam

like, emotions and stuff

also hello justin!

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

hey~!

yeah heyjung's backstory is a lot more tense than i was expecting. but i loved how everything was visually framed

although my favorite moment had to be when she went to that counselor and she just flat out couldnt say what she wanted to do with her life

cause man have i been there and that moment so purely relateable

snuffysam

yeah that was a big turning point, and my favorite moment in her backstory

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Thanks for the greeting~

I have to run a quick errand but I'll be back!

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i also loved the aftermath though of all the others bringing her stuff for her hangover. like that was just sweet and heartwarming.

snuffysam

sweet and heartwarming seems to be the general theme

for example, the scene where tina brings nao a soda

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yes. also a great scene. but also that scene made me like tina a whole lot. it had that element of goofiness (since she just picked her favorite) but had that immense kind-hearted underbelly. because i mean really, i dont know anyone who would bring me a soda to congratulate me on my first day of school.

i think my personal fave scene is actually when nao and masaki are walking together and each just having these thoughts about how they should interact and the various scenarios. especially nao imagining the music would bond them as friends while masaki is like "oh no i will be looked down upon for liking lady gaga."

snuffysam

and then they both end up too afraid to talk to each other lol

relatable scene, and i love how it helps build the characters of nao and masaki

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yes. i also love that it shows a good side to masaki in that hes basically just an average, socially awkward dork who is probably having some language and cultural gap problems. since ya know, our first impression of him was just rudeness otherwise.

i want to say in general i really love this comic's pacing though. like i always feel like the emotions are given time to be showcased but dont drag on too overly much.

snuffysam

the pacing is a real strong suit of the comic, agreed

were we ever told what masaki and shinichi's nationality/native language was?

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

no albeit i assume for shinichi its japanese since he doesnt seem able to really do english and speaks quickly. which generally if youre a native, the quicker you speak. at the very least theyve gotta be fluent.

snuffysam

wait, i guess they aren't international students, because the comic description only says there are three

so they're just two japanese brothers who happen to live in the same house as three international students

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah. for reasons O_O. although i am curious if anyone else lives there. cause nao asks tina who the curly haired guy was and tina was like "hmm maybe masaki" and then nao had to say rude for tina to be sure

so either this is just a writing goof or its implied more ppl live there?

snuffysam

yeah you'd think if it was only the five of them, "curly haired boy" would narrow it down quite a bit

also i think we ignored @Sa💅

hello Sa!

not really a scene per se, but i really like the way the comic scratches out words that aren't understood

like this page: https://tapas.io/episode/756155

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

ah i just thought it was a reply to the hellos. welcome @Sa💅 if you felt ignored O_O;;;

of all the things that is my fave part

cause i was skeptical on the language thing when i read the description

but man do i think it actually captures the language gap well

since it is what happens

you know lots of words but then theres always those difficult ones where youre like "omg wtf was that"

snuffysam

hamini really delivered in terms of showing how second languages work

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i also selfishly enjoyed that nao and i are decently close in japanese language understanding cause i wound up reading a lot of the japanese she could understand.

but then kanji

always kanji everywhere all the time

snuffysam

i took a semester of japanese four years ago and flunked lol. i can get through "はい " and that's about it.

i'm a bit better with spoken, but not much

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

hey its something.

this reminds me, i really liked that scene where tina applied language knowledge to figure out vacuum

snuffysam

that was a really cool moment!

as were the rest of the parts where tina had to figure out the instructions given to her

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yes. like man do i give tina all around props for that. i would have left crying cause new jobs are stressful enough without adding a language deficiency to the mix

QUESTION 2. Of those staying in Himawari Share, Shinichi and Masaki are the two we know least about in the current story. Do you think there’s any particular reason the two are staying at Himawari Share, or does it just happen to have a convenient location for them? Like the other characters, do you think they have personal histories or pasts that will come to light? Do you think that it is significant in some way that Shinichi and Masaki are mentioned to be brothers? As time goes on, do you think the others will bond with Masaki, or will the language and culture gap keep interfering? What about Shinichi? Will Nao, at least, become able to understand him better, or will his fast talking still prove too much?

i want to go out on a limb and just say theyre there cause convenient location. but i do think they got some sort of hidden past history. cause at the very least shinichi and masaki dont really look like theyre related. so it makes me wonder if this is maybe a half-sibling relationship going on

snuffysam

oh theory time?

i think they are actually brothers, they just happened to look different. that's how it goes somethimes

i think himawari share is a convenient location for them, but i have no idea what it would be convenient too. like, what are their jobs?

also, my guess - nao is going to start understanding what shinichi is saying, but at first it'll only be, like, she catches every other word.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah im confused at what the share is. cause the girls make it look like its like a special house dorm house for international students who are coming to work and learn in japan. but shinichi and masaki definitely dont appear to be international, so what are they doing there? now its possible they are also going to college in some fashion. but im not entirely sure since it still seems weird to have potentially two natives with three international students.

but to be fair, maybe they own himawari share

cause shinichi and masaki are def both first name

s

snuffysam

yeah maybe that's just their family home that they rent out

perhaps there are plenty of other people there, and the girls just don't hang out with them because they don't relate as much

international students sticking together and stuff

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah that could also be. although the house seems in a residential area so there cant be too many

alternatively

theres only one other dude living there and hes a shut in that you see once in a blue moon

and theres gonna be some other festival and suddenly hell come out and nao will be le gasp

snuffysam

that sounds about right, yeah

and it would explain tina not knowing who nao was talking about

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

alternatively alternatively, it is just the 5 of them and tina just happens to know a lot of people who look like masaki and forgets who even lives with her

snuffysam

maybe masaki doesn't live there, he just really likes the bathroom

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

masaki lives never door but his bathroom broke and hes too lazy to fix it. comes over to his brother's place all the time.

i really hope we get to see more of shinichi cause of all the characters he seems the most one note atm. and idk what to make of him. although i do like that hes kind of like their tour guide who take sthem to festivals

snuffysam

i think it's just that the comic isn't particularly long yet and shinichi isn't one of the main characters

the description says romance is in the cards, but it doesn't say between whom

that may be where shinichi gets some development

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

it could be. and to be fair, shinichi's mystery kind of suits the fact that theres the language gap cause he clearly doesnt know english well or at all. so its hard to get to know someone well when theres only so many words shared between

like how that convo between nao and hyejung was really formal and stifled before they realized they both spoke english

snuffysam

well, hopefully shinichi is more open to talking about his interests than his brother

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah. although backing up the train for a moment, id like to know why both brothers seemingly dont seem to know any english. cause english is generally required learning in japan and while a lot of ppl arent good at it, theyed probably at least know a few basic phrases. so it strikes me as interesting neither has attempted that much. tho tbf has masaki even said anything?

snuffysam

i think masaki corrected the neighbor lady about his name

but that's it

we don't know if they can speak english or not, i think

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah i mean they could. but i could also see them choosing not to since the girls are all there to kind of learn japanese

snuffysam

oh no wait, there is a page where it's shown shinichi doesn't understand english

https://tapas.io/episode/839877

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

QUESTION 3. One of the comic’s themes revolves around finding yourself, and this issue has given many characters quite the obstacle. In the case of Nao, do you think she will come to terms with that missing part of herself by being in Japan, or will there forever be a gap no matter how much time she spends there? As Nao spends more time there, do you think she’ll feel the culture gap grow or shrink, and how might that affect her? In the case of Hyejung, do you think she’ll figure out what she wants to do with her life, or do you think that still might remain elusive? Additionally, do you think she’ll be able to reconcile with her family? Lastly, in the case of Tina, do you think her part time job will work out, or will the language gap make things too much of a struggle? If she does lose her job, what do you think she’ll do and how might this affect her reasons for being in Japan?

snuffysam

do we know why tina is in japan?

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i dont think so. and if you dont think so, im gonna feel safe in saying we havent been told

although tina seems like the type to just like adventures

although whereas nao and hyejung give me the impression that they might someday go back to their home countries, tina gives me the impression that this is a permanent thing

at least compared to hyejung, tina seems to care the least about reliving her own culture persay

snuffysam

i think it's not going to turn out how any of the girls' plan. maybe hyuejung finds her purpose is back in korea, maybe it's in japan, etc.

nao is here to reconnect to the missing part of herself and re-learn japanese. while she may end up learning japanese, i don't think reconnecting with her past will happen so much.

she'll see a large culture gap, or get distracted with something else

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I'm back!

snuffysam

hi justin!

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Hey Snuffy!

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

wb!

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Thanks!

Ooh, a Japanese festival?!

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

there was one in the comic, yes already, yes.

tbh i do think hyejung isnt going to find exactly what she wants. because i feel her desire to go to japan was driven more by a desire to escape her reality versus thinking "yes this is the place where i can find myself"

and shes the one who seems most homesick as well

not ot say i think the journey will be in vain

and i think shell at least learn things about herself

like how to live independently for herself

away from the parents

in nao's case, i think shell...come to terms that she cant have a different past. im actually thinking whats going to happen is shes going to run into something that makes her go "whoa wait america was way better in this aspect" and then shell realize that if she had stayed in japan, she also wouldnt know the american culture she grew up in.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Perhaps

snuffysam

at some point nao likened it to having a twin that was separated from her at birth. and i think her journey will involve coming to terms with the fact that she can't recover that lost twin. she's gone forever.

lots of great metaphors in this comic btw

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I thought Nao was from Korea.

snuffysam

no you're thinking of hyejung

nao is the one who was born in japan but grew up in america

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Oh right, my bad I saw this page and I thought wrong because of it https://tapas.io/episode/1021922

snuffysam

yeah that chapter follows hyejung

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

aye, thanks

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah i do think thats the case with nao. shes going to have to realize that she cant have two pasts or that other half. but i do think being in japan will be both good and bad for it. cause on the plus side, she gets to see what she missed out on, but on the otherhand shes also going to feel the sting of that gap cause im sure shes gonna run into a festival where shes plain just like "i dont understand this"

although assuming her mom is still alive(?) then itll be interesting if she can talk to her mom in japanese again or something

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yeah.

You know, reading this comic made me remember how much I thought it'd be cool to visit Japan back in high school and planned to go there as a graduation present. How wrong I was.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

this comic gives me the should go to japan itch again. especially to eat the food

which im glad food is involved a lot

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Mmm

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

cause thats a huge facet of the culture

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I wish I loved Japanese food.

more than I do now

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

on a side note

i loved that little moment where hyejung bitched that the kimchi wasnt even spicy

and how it was made by a japanese run restaurant

cause i liked that detail that just how america amercanizes certain foods, other countries do the same

or at least japan does for sure XD

their mcdonalds are crazy

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

lol yeah

This hit home for me, in a way

like it's not "authentic"

snuffysam

I’ve had Korean food in a restaurant owned by Korean people. And yeah, it’s a lot spicier

I don’t blame Hyejung lol

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

nah i dont blame her either. cause regardless if you grow up used to one flavor, you probably arent gonna be a fan of change

QUESTION 4. Given the focus of the comic is on international students and cultural gaps, to a degree, there are lots of interesting potential scenarios. Did you find the comic’s unique method of showcasing language gaps interesting? How did it change how you viewed the characters’ experiences? Are there any cultural experiences that you’re looking forward to seeing the characters experience? If so, why? Do you feel our heroines will continue to be able to wing it, or will they commit some sort of cultural blunder? If the latter, how do you expect that to play out and emotionally affect the culprit? On a more character oriented level, what other struggles do you think the characters might have in their everyday, personal lives? Do you think everyone will continue to get along, or might tension in Himawari Share grow for some reason? Lastly, do you think romance might be in bloom with any characters?

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

It's certainly very interesting and it shows up the potential troubles of going out into a whole new world

snuffysam

Everyone gets along so well, I just know someone’s going to mess up

Call me a pessimist lol

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

lol

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

snuffy, youre a pessimist

but no i agree

they have been getting along real well

and at some point theyre going to fight

cause at the very least living together isnt easy

cause everyone has different habits

and call me biased, but pretty sure if its a living together thing tina is gonna be the cause of it just cause she has the most unreserved personality

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yeah.

Eventually all that rage and stress will just need to be all let out.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

one thing i didnt mention about the language thing was that i was glad to see there was a difference between nao and tina. cause tina clearly has a better grasp and that shows, both in how much she understands and how she has learned to learn via context clues.

snuffysam

yeah there's a clear difference between everyone's skill level

even just the "yeah it took me a while to get used to shinichi talking" is an example of that

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

It's great seeing everyone talking in all the different languages(edited)

Especially since it's not easy to do Japanese and Korean in comics unless you're overly familiar with the language yourself (or have a translator)(edited)

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yes thats also true with the shinichi talking part. i really felt for nao in that moment.

cause its an easier said than done thing

im gonna ship nao and masaki. thats where im putting my shipping chips

snuffysam

perhaps a source of conflict comes from romance coming about with an odd number of people in the house?

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

I made it for the last bit. O.o Though you mentioned a lot of the stuff I liked in the first half hour already, I'm noticing. The bit where Tina brought the soda for Nao and the bit where the two characters were having different music conversations in their minds.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

eey Math

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

I enjoyed those two. The Hyejung at the end, I can see how it's very relatable, and it was emotional, but I guess I just like a bit of funzies in my fave scenes. ^.^(edited)

I'm gonna ship Nao and Tina, because you KNOW me.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

hi math~! was even just thinking "aww i guess math isnt coming after all."

plz math

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

mmm, ships

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

clearly tina and hyejung are the ship

they have more history

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

That's just it, they haven't fallen in love yet. Chips go on the new relationship.

Also, related to what SJ was saying before, the author must be very good with languages or know many herself... I have zero clue if it's right or not, but it's a pretty gutsy venture.

snuffysam

yeah either the author knows three plus languages, or has some really good friends

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

the japanese is correct from what i can tell. at least the parts i could read.

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

There's also those little things that can trip one up in translation, like the "Let's Eat" kind of being the Japanese thanks for the food thing. I think the author even pointed it out once, with the part time job, both of them thanking the other for working, not really being an English thing.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yeah, I wouldn't ever think to do a foreign language in something of mine unless I rely on a translator.

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

I didn't totally pick up on the skills of the individual characters either, but since you did, it's cool that it can come across too.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yea

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

I'm bilingual for English and French and even I'm not sure I'd want to do it.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

what you mean you dont want to do a strip where all the tans start speaking french? XD

i feel like shinichi would be the one to bring a relationship in from the outside

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

Not so much, no.

Yeah, we haven't seen much of the guys (which I notice you mentioned earlier)... honestly, I'm okay with that. I like the focus on the women (and not just because I ship that way) as they all have sort of a bond.

snuffysam

shinichi seems a bit more outgoing, so i wouldn't be surprised if he turns out to already be in a relationship

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

Oh, and the speed-talking thing was well portrayed.

I also want to say it was neat having that character who lives across the street come back in a later scene, when they were going to the post office. Helps make things extra real, incidentals like that.

snuffysam

i liked how she didn't know masaki's name lol

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Lol

snuffysam

he might not get out much

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

Could be to avoid talking. And just not wanting to talk even to strangers for fear of making a mistake.

Maybe that explains the rudeness too.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

to be fair, i dont know a single one of my neighbors. and if you dont interact with your neighbors, you dont know their names

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

If you start with rudeness, people won't talk to you either, and you won't have to interpret. Yeah, I don't know my neighbours either. ^^;;

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I don't even have any neghibors

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

Final thought, super impressed by the translation stuff. Including the blurring of just some words, which was also pointed out earlier. I don't think I've seen anything like that.

Also, Nao + Tina.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

COMIC TEA PARTY END!

Unfortunately, the scheduled Comic Tea Party time is now up~! Thank you everyone so much for reading and joining this week’s chat~! We want to give a special thank you to Harmony Becker, as well, for making Himawari Share and volunteering it for our reading queue. If you liked the comic, please be sure to support Harmony Becker’s efforts however you’re able to. All that being said, if you would like to continue discussing this week’s comic, we highly encourage you to do so~!

For next week, Comic Tea Party will focus on Raison d'Etre by Cloud Fourteen (Funari and Leigh). As always, please use the next several days to read as much of the comic as you would like. We hope to see you next Thursday on August 16th from 5PM to 7PM PDT for the chat~! Until then, happy reading~! Comic: http://raisondetrecomic.tumblr.com/