#and personal journaling as I track the journey of my life

[ecosystem-administrator]

the road to Horizon

I was watching a video recapping someone's journey through FFXIV and it made me think back on the start of my own, so I have some thoughts to ramble here, on my departure from Azeroth and arrival into Eorzea. From the perspective of a WoW refugee who arrived before the big waves of exodus, who left before all the bad news broke at Blizzard.

I don't talk about it much. At first it was because I was still grieving what I'd left, adjusting to the new normal I'd found for myself and trying not to be that person who compares everything to their only other experience in the genre; then, it was because the news had broken about all the things broken in Blizzard behind the scenes, and suddenly it no longer felt cool to have ever enjoyed what they were doing. But I started playing WoW during Wrath of the Lich King, and I continued to play until somewhere in the patch cycles of Battle For Azeroth. 2009-2019, a full decade of investment in the lore, of anticipation and disappointment, of theorycrafting my way around plotholes so I could keep enjoying the things that were enjoyable.

At some point, there was a news announcement coming, and I found myself anxious, dreading the possibility that the plot would focus on some of the characters I'd come to like, and in doing so wreck the stories I'd been building in my head. I had to stop and replay that moment for myself: I was dreading my favorite characters getting spotlight time, because I was afraid of what the writers would do to them. This is, I had to finally admit to myself, no way to live. I had reached my limit. My trust was broken, years of disappointment having finally dismantled my hope. I had to walk away. I wouldn't uninstall, not yet - but I would instead try out that beautiful Final Fantasy game my fiancee and some of her friends had started playing. I had watched over her shoulder one time a good while back as a tiny pink cupcake of a girl drank a goblet of poisoned wine, and at the time I had envied the power of the scene on display. Perhaps starting fresh with a new story would help ease the grief of finally stepping away from a decade of giving my heart to a game that was simply no longer giving back.

It takes time to adjust to a new game, of course. New controls, new abilities, what do you mean crafters are classes just like combat classes, wait what's the difference between a class and a job, how do I know whether I'm where I'm supposed to be, what do you mean dungeons aren't optional content, etc. I stumbled my way through the start of ARR, increasingly enthused to be learning a whole new set of lore but still anxious about how new I was. In FFXIV, we call new players 'sprouts' and tend to them; but I hadn't yet learned that mindset. I had to be told not to remove the sprout icon that flagged me as new and learning, because to me it looked like a 'kick me' sign on my back, a bright waving flag that said "Fresh Meat". That's what it would have been, where I had come from. I didn't know any better yet.

I made my way out of Gridania, around the capitals, through the baby dungeons, back to Ul'dah to get my invitation to the Scions, doing my best to absorb new lore, new controls, and new attitudes simultaneously. So it wasn't until I was leaving Ul'dah and headed out into Western Thanalan toward the Scions, on foot because I hadn't unlocked mounts yet, because I hadn't yet gotten the Horizon aetheryte, that I suddenly had a series of revelations.

I couldn't see player levels just by looking at them. I would have to click on a player and examine them in order to identify what level they were. Conversely, no one could see my level unless they went to that effort. They couldn't tell at a glance if I was overleveled or underleveled, if I was out of place in a zone or where I was meant to be.

The plot I had been through so far had gradually converged on this point in a way that suggested the story was melding with the starting storylines from the other two cities. In WoW, there are overarching plotlines for zones sometimes, but the presence of a Main Plot is a very recent development. Players rarely take the same path from starting zone to max level; but here, we were all walking the same road.

There were no factions. We were all walking the same road, and this was what struck me the hardest. From level 1 to level 70 (at the time I started lmao), every single player around me was somewhere on the same plotline. No one was a threat. There was no world PvP. I would never be ganked, griefed, have to wait for critical NPCs to respawn after max-level players from the other faction had come in and killed them.

Me, to me, at level 15 as the light began to dawn:

This is really how it felt, after all those years of WoW. The road to Horizon was the place where I finally realized I wasn't a soldier anymore, an erstwhile mercenary trying to dodge getting drafted back into a forever war. Of course there were still enemies, but all of the enemies were NPCs. I didn't have to worry about enemy PCs coming in raids, about staying out of their way or deciding to stand and fight. There were no such thing as enemy PCs. The war was, finally, over.

And so I trod onward lighter, still on foot until someone saw fit to give me a chocobo, my faction tabard abandoned in the dust of Thanalan, only an adventurer at last.

[dark-wackademia]

hope this helps someone <3

i found this really helpful after a turbulent little rock-in-the-road moment during mother's day but i have been doing a lot of research and work these days so i was much more prepared than i thought. it's just different to stand up for myself and the negative wiring was making me feel like i should back slide to people pleasing and taking my focus off my goals and living slow and mindfully (despite this being life-changing for me lately and taking away the chronic migraines i had, that i realized were from over-stimulation). nope, i'm choosing to stay consistent in living how i need to live for me to thrive and be able to do what i need for future me and goals to get accomplished and current me to stay well on every level to get there in a good state.

[holllandtrash]

in you, i trust | mick schumacher social media au

pairing: mick schumacher x reader

after the it couple of formula 1 go months without any interactions, the fans start to speculate what's going on. there's no way mick and you are over...right?

wagupdatesf1

liked by jemmaf1, formula1wags and 23,403 others

tagged: dbook & yourusername

wagupdatesf1 (ex?)Girlfriend of Mercedes Reserve Driver, Mick Schumacher seen with a man during her Cabo trip - pictures taken 14 hours apart

view all 315 comments

orangelando "with a man" YOU MEAN DEVIN BOOKER

44hamilton how does she go from f1 driver and certified lover boy mick to a phoenix suns basketball player HOW DO THEY EVEN KNOW EACH OTHER

mickisbabyboy so does this mean her and mick are over...? 🥺

michschumacher added to their story

yourusername

liked by riabish, lissiemackintosh and 54,203 others

yourusername i'm doing better than i ever was

view all 59 comments

schumyys only here to see if mick commented

boxboxpls remember when mick used to comment 500 heart eye emojis i miss those days

sebbymick am i reading into the caption too much or is this her fr announcing she's single

f1

liked by mickschumacher, mercedesamgf1 and 580,024 others

f1 Mick Schumacher is going to drive father Michael's @mercedesamgf1 W02 from the 2011 season at the Goodwood Festival of Speed! ✨

Now this, is special 🥹

view all 892 comments

mercedesamgf1 can't wait to see it!!

formulafanclub sooo exciting!!! complimentary tissues better be given with each ticket purchase

wtf1jemma so if yn doesn't show up to the goodwood festival of speed then we know something's up

mercedesamgf1

liked by yourusername, lewishamilton and 312,384 others

tagged: lewishamilton & georgerussell

mercedesamgf1 Blimey! It’s British GP Race Week at Silverstone. ❤️🤍💙

view all 975 comments

freepracticespls Y/N LIKED THE PHOTO THIS IS GOOD RIGHT

lewishamilton ❤️

lightsoutmick if y/n isn't there this weekend i will actually throw myself onto the track at lights out she HAS to be there

yourusername

liked by landonorris, mickschumacher and 36,024 others

yourusername good vibes good friends good city

view all 236 comments

whoislewis it has officially been 5 months since we got any mick content from y/n

formulanever no i think it's been 6

samgoesracing BESTIE ARE YOU STILL WITH MICK OR NOT

mickschumacher added to their story

yourusername

liked by mickschumacher, dbook and 76,203 others

yourusername As many of you know, I spent majority of 2021 and 2022 traveling the world with Mick for formula 1. Because of that, my life was put on hold. While I cherish those days, I lost sight of who I was. 

Six months ago, Mick and I amicably decided to take a break. While the decision wasn’t easy, it was what was best for both of us as we both were in transitional points in our lives. During this time, I have traveled the world, for myself, and started to journal what I learned from locals, friends and strangers. Early on into this journey, I realized that my experiences were something that should be shared as I know we all go through times times when we feel lost and unsure of who we are. 

‘In Me, I Trust’ is available now and is a collection of my stories, thoughts and advice. I hope you take what you need from it ♡ 

view all 728 comments

dbook 10/10 stars

yourusername dev you're only saying that because there's a whole page dedicated to you dbook only a page??? i thought i had a whole chapter

slowdowninthepits SHE WAS WRITING A BOOK THIS WHOLE TIME!! sneaky sneaky

kissformick wait so does this mean her and mick are officially over 🥺🥺🥺 we really are children of divorce

mickschumacher

liked by yourusername, danielricciardo and 414,500 others

mickschumacher worth the wait

view all 1,303 comments

paddockbabes THE BOOK WAS WORTH THE WAIT OR SHE WAS

hamilgrussell IS THAT AN OLD PICTURE OR A NEW ONE I CAN'T TELL

0304mclarenss stop did y/n really send him a personalized copy im sobbing

ricciardoscafe "much like this book has found its way to you, i know my love will too" THAT MEANS THEY'RE GETTING BACK TOGETHER RIGHT?? RIGHT???/ SAY YES RIGHT NOW

yourusername

liked by mercedesamgf1, dbook and 73,22 others

tagged: mickschumacher

yourusername in you, i trust

view all 833 comments

mickschumacher did you re-name your book?

yourusername no that's the sequel, limited copies though, probably just for your eyes only

mcnorris all is right in the world!! mom and dad are reunited!!!

lovelylewis only y/n would write a book on being single and how to grow while being alone and then go right back to mick

formulanever i don't blame her

haven't done a smau in a while, hope ya'll liked it ♡

[bloomzone]

GLOW UP DIARY#6 : ROMANTICIZING YOUR LIFE

"Another day ahead, don't wanna leave the bed you're looking at the mirror, see the tears covered in redI know that you've been cold this whole time but now I'm here to make it end"

-straykids (track : youtiful)

hi blossoms it's been so long since I posted. . . 🥹 miss you... Anyway I want to inform that I opened my study motivation/daily life account follow me there if u want ! ( @bloom-diary )

’-Finding Beauty in the Ordinary

© bloomzone

🍒: Boring days can feel endless and uninspiring, but they hold the potential for something special. By shifting your perspective, you can uncover the magic hidden in the mundane. Embrace the challenge of transforming those dull moments into opportunities for joy and creativity. Together, we'll explore simple ways to romanticize your daily life, turning the ordinary into the extraordinary. Remember, even the most uneventful days can become cherished memories with the right mindset. Let's make every day a little more magical!

#6.HOW TO ROMANTICIZING EVERYDAY LIFE

u can take your journey of romanticizing life to the next level embracing meaningful practices that can transform your everyday experiences into moments of joy and inspiration(remember that no matter how life get bad u can start again:) ). Start by creating rituals that bring calm and intention to your daily routine—whether it’s a peaceful morning routine or a relaxing evening wind-down. Allow yourself to explore new places and embark on mini-adventures to break free from routine and discover the beauty around you. Connect with your creativity through personal projects and let your imagination flourish. Remember, nourishing your well-being with mindful eating and enjoyable activities can elevate your mood and bring satisfaction. Embrace the changing seasons by celebrating them with special activities and fresh décor. Build a cozy personal sanctuary where you can reflect and recharge, and deepen your connections with others through meaningful gatherings. Practice gratitude regularly, and seek out beauty in both the big and small moments of life. Embrace these practices with an open heart, knowing that each effort you make will enrich your life and help you find joy in the ordinary.

FIND BEAUTY IN THE SMALL THINGS :

Romanticizing life involves finding beauty and joy in the everyday moments. Here’s a guide to help you embrace this mindset:

# 1.Slow Down and Be Present

- Mindfulness: Practice mindfulness by paying attention to the present moment without judgment.

- Savor Daily Routines:Turn mundane tasks into rituals. For example, enjoy making your morning coffee or tea,make ur bed in the morning..

# 2.Create a Cozy Atmosphere

- Decorate Your Space: Add personal touches to your living space, like lights, plants, or cozy blankets it will give u motivation to have a productive day

- Ambient Lighting: Use candles or soft lighting to create a warm and inviting environment

# 3.Indulge in Simple Pleasures

- Nature Walks: Take walks in nature, paying attention to the sights, sounds, and smells.

- Reading: Find a cozy spot to read books that inspire and transport you.

- Enjoy a Homemade Dessert: Bake cookies, brownies, or a cake and savor each bite try new recipes

# 4.Cultivate a Sense of Wonder

- Explore: Visit new places, even if they are in your local area.

- Learn: Pick up a new hobby or skill that excites you new languages....

# 5.Embrace Your Senses

- Music: Create playlists that uplift or calm you.

- Creating a Sensory Jar: Fill a jar with items like sea shells, dried flowers, or colored sand for a visual and tactile experience or just memories from break days..

# 6.Practice Gratitude

- Journaling: Keep a gratitude journal to note down things you’re thankful for each day.

- Appreciation: Take time to appreciate the little things, like a beautiful sunset or a delicious meal.

# 7. Dress for Joy

- Wear What You Love: Dress in clothes that make you feel good, even if you’re not going anywhere special. (Ikr wasting a good outfit in a boring day is suck 😔)

- Accessorize: Use accessories that add a touch of elegance or fun to your outfits.

#8. Nurture Relationships

- Quality Time: Spend meaningful time with friends and family.

- Thoughtful Gestures: Show appreciation through small, thoughtful gestures.

#9. Celebrate Yourself

- Self-Care: Regularly engage in self-care activities that rejuvenate you.

- Achievements: Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small.

# 10. Capture Memories

- Photography: Take photos of moments that make you happy.

- Scrapbooking: Create a scrapbook or digital album to look back on fond memories.

─ㅤ⊹ㅤ𓈒 May this guide inspire you to see the beauty in your daily life and cherish every moment.

© bloomzone

[trans-axolotl]

Can I ask what things have helped you learn to live with psychosis?

Sure! It's definitely been a journey for me, so this is probably going to be a long post lol. I'm also going to add the disclaimer that this is about about me and what worked for me--I don't think this is going to be helpful for everyone and I don't think that everyone needs to think about their psychosis/altered states in the same way that I think about mine.

When I first starting experiencing it, psychosis was very disruptive and incredibly distressing to me. Now, at this point in my life, although my psychosis is often inconvenient or annoying, it generally is not distressing or majorly disrupting my life in the way it used to. a lot of credit for this is due to places like Project LETS, the Hearing Voices Network, etc, that let me see for the first time different ways of thinking about and coping with altered states. The medical model was more harmful than anything for me: it left me feeling like i had no agency over my own experiences, and that the only option the rest of my life would be to submit to varying degrees of surveillance and control with no hope of ever having moments of joy again.

For me, the first step for living with my psychosis was to approach my hallucinations/delusions with a lot of curiosity, and to build up my own picture of what my experience of psychosis was like. I started asking myself a lot of questions:

What do the hallucinations/delusions I experience look like? What do they feel like in my body? What emotions do they bring up for me? What's happening in my life when I'm having more frequent hallucinations/delusions? How do I feel when people challenge me on my hallucinations/delusions? Are there people/places/things that my hallucinations/delusions are happening more frequently around? What parts of my hallucinations/delusions bring me distress? Are there any parts of my hallucinations/delusions that I like? Are there things that help making dealing with hallucinations/delusions easier?

The way I wrote these questions out makes it sound like I had a lot of insight about the fact that I was hallucinating and delusion and makes it sound like I was really methodical about this, which is absolutely not the case. A lot of this was me just like, scribbling in journals and google docs about my theories about angels and my favorite angels and lists of poisons and on and on and on. A lot of the most helpful insights were random ones that I found when I was completely delusional, not in the periods when I had insight and was trying to map all this out.

But overall, what I was able to figure out was that in general, most of my psychosis was associated with one of two themes:

feeling unsafe and worried about dangerous threats

feeling controlled and unable to exercise my autonomy.

This made a lot of sense to me, given my own personal history with trauma and the traumatic things actively happening in my life at the time. When that clicked it felt like so much suddenly made sense, and I was able to get a lot more of an understanding of why certain things felt so distressing and urgent. Having a delusion that all my food is being poisoned creates a level of paranoia and stress that is pretty unreasonable and unhelpful as an adult who buys all their own food. Having that same level of paranoia and stress as a child who had to live in a dangerous situation without any control? A lot more helpful and reasonable for surviving. There were so many hallucinations/delusions (bugs/people in my walls/monsters and blood/etc) that I could clearly track all the ways that they did kind of function as a protective strategy for me in traumatic situations by raising my level of alarm and awareness, but now just caused me so much fucking stress.

At this point, it felt like I had a pretty okay grasp on some of the reasons I was experiencing psychosis, and then wanted to think about how I could actually then cope with it. First I identified all the things that weren't working and instead were just making me pissed off and making things worse.

Logical attempts to reality check me just made me feel more stressed, paranoid, and often made the hallucinations worse and the delusions bigger.

Before, this hadn't made any sense to me, but after identifying those underlying emotions around safety and autonomy it made so much fucking sense. People reality checking me, or even me trying to use logic against hallucinations with myself, didn't do anything to validate my emotions or meet that underlying need. Instead it just made me feel like I wasn't being listened to or believed, that I didn't have anyone I could trust, and that I had to be more on guard, which just perpetuated the whole cycle!

So for me, I realized that any coping skills would need to be centered around validating my emotions and meeting my underlying need for safety and/or autonomy. Practically, what this looked like for me was making a bunch of documents that are titled things like "Tips for if there's bugs inside of you" "Things you like to remember when you're talking to angels" etc etc etc. I think what really helped this work for me is that I didn't title them things like "how to cope with delusions about bugs" because I know that when I'm delusional, reading something like that is just going to piss me off and make me feel like I'm being called a liar. In those documents I write a lot of affirmations for my emotions and then write out a list of specific coping skills, organized from least chaotic/risky to most chaotic/risky. Nothing gets me more pissed off when I'm in a bad space then people trying to get me to use therapeutic coping skills when I don't want to, so I knew that I wanted to include a wide range of out-of-the-box coping skills. I'll share a few from my list of coping skills for increasing autonomy that I put in my "tips for if there's bugs inside of you document."

eat/shower/sleep/talk to someone in real life/pain meds

redecorate your room

shoplift

cut your hair

work on a project like embroidery or knitting or origami where you have to create something with your hands

choose a random place outside and go there

try some DBT/ACT/RODBT skills and see if they help you feel just 2% better, enough that you can do something else that you hate less like distractions.

distract (talk with friends, watch tv, read)

choose a random place outside and go there

make a lot of noise and kick things over in your room

break things

self harm (following my harm reduction plan)

drugs/alcohol

if i'm doing well enough, i try to first use coping skills that don't also have mental or physical risks for myself, but if i need to, I give myself permission to cope in whatever ways meet my needs in the moment and try to let go of some of the shame associated with riskier coping skills. I also have talked about psychosis openly with my trusted friends who know what kinds of support are helpful and what shit just makes me pissed off and frightened.

Overall, this has helped make psychosis a LOT less distressing for me, and over time also has made it happen slightly less. About half the time these days I have insight that what's happening are delusions or hallucinations which has helped make it easier to remember to cope. These days, psychosis mostly happens when my body is under a lot of stress (no sleep/seizure recovery/not eating/injured), and also sort of acts an alarm bell to me that somethings going on in my life that I might not have noticed, either in terms of my physical health or in terms of stressful situations or emotions that I'm not ready to think about or process.

That's one of the reasons that my psychosis is so meaningful to me, to be honest. I honestly feel really grateful that my psychosis gave me a way to externalize and experience my emotions before I was ready or able to experience them and feel them in my body. I think having hallucinations/delusions helped protect me at certain times in my life while still helping me acknowledge in a certain way that I was so fucking angry and grieving and hurt and in pain. I think that helped keep me alive long enough to get to a point where I could start to process and unpack trauma without it completely overwhelming me, or without convincing myself that I needed to be fine at any cost. And maybe it's strange to say I'm grateful for that, but I am.

so. that's most of what has worked for me. The way I wrote it out made it seem super simple and straightforward, but in reality it was absolutely nothing like that. It was years of a lot of chaos and feeling upset so much of the time and feeling absolutely clueless and my loved ones feeling concerned and writing things down and forgetting that I wrote things down and having the same problem over and over agai. just overall was so messy and not at all a linear process like I wrote about it here. I absolutely still have plenty of times where I just fuck off and forget I've ever thought about coping and just go around with hallucinations disrupting my entire day, and plenty of times it's still stressful.

And also again: this is about me and what's worked for me. My biggest advice for other people about coping with psychosis is a lot less about the specifics of a process or exactly what coping skills to use. Instead I think it's a lot more about approaching with curiosity first, just giving yourself the space to explore your psychosis on your own terms, to try things out, to build your own relationship with psychosis and how it fits into your life, and to affirm yourself as someone who does have agency about how you want to think, talk, feel, and cope with your own psychosis/altered states.

hope that was helpful and/or interesting anon, feel free to let me know if you have any other psychosis/altered states questions!

[mynicosensesaretingling]

Lost in the moment (part 1)

Nico Rosberg x fem!reader

Summary: Throughout her career as a motorsport journalist, (Y/N) has established a special relationship with Nico. But what happens when unfortunate circumstances keep her from being there for him during the most important moment of his career? (part 1 of 2)

Warnings: Other than some angst there isn't any, female reader

Note: Noticing the lack of Nico fanfiction, I've decided to turn my dreams into an actual story. No worries, there will be a second part!

Part 2: https://www.tumblr.com/mynicosensesaretingling/734355288476565504/lost-in-the-moment-part2

Hope you enjoy it <3

Life as a journalist was not exactly a quiet life, especially for (Y/N), who worked as a reporter live on location for a motorsport journal called Countdown Magazine. Having been a dream job for the young woman since childhood, however, the stress that came with working in the motorsport industry seemed only half as bad to her.

But this year, the atmosphere had changed as the intense rivalry between Nico Rosberg and Lewis Hamilton, known as the “Silver War”, had captivated the world of Formula 1. As a dedicated and well-reputed reporter, (Y/N) had secured herself, what you could call a front-row seat, which allowed her to immerse herself in the high-stakes drama that unfolded throughout the season and enabled her to follow every twist and turn with unwavering dedication.

However, even though the feud between the Mercedes drivers provided great headlines and stories, (Y/N) couldn’t help but feel tense whenever Lewis and Nico had a go at each other.

Having been covering the sport for multiple years now had created a closer bond between her and several of the drivers and none more so than Nico Rosberg. The German Mercedes driver had always struck (Y/N) as a fascinating character. 

Over the years, their paths had crossed countless times during press conferences, pit-lane interviews and post-race debriefs. She had covered his journey from the earlier days of his Formula 1 career, watching him develop from a promising talent into a championship contender. His approachability and genuine interest in connecting with those around him were what had set Nico apart from the other drivers. Beyond the professional facade, the driver was a thoughtful guy, cracking jokes, sharing gossip, discussing the intricacies of the sport, the pressures of competition and even personal anecdotes from his life. 

Before she knew it, (Y/N) had found herself staying behind after work, searching out any chance to connect with the German. It didn’t take long before he invited her to join him at whatever he was planning on doing next, be it a walk around the track, getting something to eat or simply hanging around the paddock. Each time she accepted his offer the unique bond between them grew stronger, forging a friendship that transcended the typical reporter-athlete dynamic.

"Sometimes I really wonder why you spend so much time with me." the young reporter once mused, resting her chin on her hand as she leaned against the counter. Nico, who was standing next to her at the whirring coffee machine, shrugged his shoulders calmly, "I have to make sure I'm always presented in the best light. After all, we don't want any scandalous headlines or such, do we?." his cheeky laughter was quickly interrupted when (Y/N)'s foot found his shin. "Ouch." the blond man exclaimed overdramatically, pointing at her with his silver spoon in an accusing manner, but his narrowed eyes were sparkling playfully. "I swear one day I'm going to lose my ability to drive because of you. And then we'll both be out of a job." (Y/N) couldn't help but laugh at his antics. "There are plenty of other Formula 1 drivers I could report on." "Mhm." Nico was nodding while picking up his cup from the coffee machine. "But apparently these drivers must be boring as hell, otherwise you wouldn't be spending so much time with me." He winked at her whilst stirring his coffee, getting an eye-roll from (Y/N) in response. "Oh come on, I know you love me." Nico chuckled. "Oh shut up," the young woman laughed, waving her hand in a dismissive manner, purposefully ignoring the way her heart skipped a beat.

One of (Y/N)’s favourite memories, which she had made in her friendship with Nico, was when after a long, rainy qualifying day and countless press conferences, the driver had waited for her in the pitlane, an umbrella in his right hand as he wordlessly motioned for her to join him with his free one. “It’s raining.” she had expressed, pulling her jacket tighter around her body in hesitation, eyes darting to the dark clouds above. “And I have an umbrella.” Nico had simply countered matter-of-factly, shaking the umbrella for emphasis, scrunching his nose as his gesture led cold droplets to land on his face. (Y/N) suppressed a laugh, finding the sight utterly adorable. “I can’t just leave you standing there in the rain, can I?” her voice was filled with amusement, as she mustered the man, before quickly making her way over to Nico. “I mean,” he chuckled, as she ducked under his umbrella “You definitely could, but I’d find it incredibly rude.” (Y/N) huffed a laugh, linking her arm with his. “Well, how kind of me to join you then.” She hummed, eyes fixed onto the moon’s reflection in one of the puddles below. “ What are we doing anyways ?” she raised her brow, looking up at him with curiosity. Nico turned his head, a sparkle in his eyes. “We’ve never walked a track at night before, so I figured we’d make it a first. And now that I am thinking about it, I don’t think we’ve ever walked in the rain before either.” his gaze turned mischievous as he shook the umbrella once again, sprinkling water into both of their faces. A hearty chuckle left his lips as he watched (Y/N) scrunch her nose, just like he had done earlier.  “Why did you even bother getting an umbrella?” (Y/N) huffed lightheartedly, as she wiped her face with her sleeve. “Cause I know you wouldn’t have joined me without one.” he grinned down at her before pulling her along with him. That night, as Nico and her had spent several hours walking the moonlit track, sharing an umbrella and conversing about everything and nothing, is when (Y/N) had realized that her feelings for the Mercedes driver went far beyond friendship.

In the current tense situation, moments like these were not lost on the pair, but they were becoming increasingly infrequent. With the championship-deciding race approaching, (Y/N) could feel the pressure on Nico becoming stronger by the minute. Being on the brink of realizing his lifelong dream of becoming a Formula 1 World Champion and stepping into the footsteps of his father had led to several sleepless nights thinking about the sacrifices and the relentless pursuit of excellence that had brought him to this pivotal moment. And on top of that, Nico’s biggest rival was his own teammate and best friend, Lewis Hamilton. 

Especially now that the relationship with his childhood friend was slowly but surely coming to an end, Nico found himself drawn to (Y/N)’s presence, even more so than usual. Amongst this utter mess, which he found himself in, she was his lifeline and he clung to it like a desperate sailor lost at sea. 

Particularly in the days leading up to the race, Nico was confiding in the woman about his innermost fears and ambitions, trusting her as someone who genuinely understood the intricacies of the sport and its impact on his life. She, in turn, had found herself awaiting his late-night calls, admiring his determination as she listened to him rambling about whatever was occupying his mind, her heart filling with a sense of pride whenever she’d hear a faint chuckle from Nico as she managed to bring some lightheartedness and humour to their conversations.

"You'll be okay," she would say to him in a gentle voice, "you've always managed so far." On the other end of the line, the driver would sigh, "But it's never been like this before." His voice was weary and full of thoughtful despair. "And in the future, it will never be like this again." she would say with a shurg, her empathetic smile practically audible through the phone. "So try to enjoy as many of these moments as you can." There was a pause before Nico gave a breathless chuckle, "Oh man, what would I do without you?"

On the day of the race, as Nico prepared for taking on the track, he couldn't help but think of (Y/N) and how she had supported him over the last few weeks, reassuring him and quite literally keeping him sane as the situation within his team steadily deteriorated.

His blue eyes scanned the area outside of the Mercedes garage. Unable to spot his friend in any of the spots she’d usually be in, Nico approached one of the stewards. “Hey, sorry,” he tried to sound nonchalant  “Have you seen the Countdown crew?” his eyes nervously flitted around the paddock, before landing back on the steward. “Countdown Magazine? No, I don’t think I have seen them anywhere on the track today.” the older man answered, a rough hand scratching away at his beard. “Thank you.” Nico shortly nodded, before abruptly turning on his heels and making his way back into the garage with tense shoulders. (Y/N)’s absence from the paddock weighed heavily on his mind. She had promised him to be there today and she’d usually come in amongst the first wave of reporters. Why wasn’t she there yet? Nico combed his fingers through his hair , lost in thought. Shaking his head, he felt his team’s eyes on his form. She’d surely be at the paddock in no time, he thought,  deciding that for now, it would do him better to focus on the race and his strategies, in order to secure the championship.

What Nico didn't know, however, was that just mere moments before the gates to the paddock were opened, the boss of Countdown Magazine had abruptly fired  (Y/N) at short notice. 

With her heartbeat pounding in her ears, the only thing the young journalist had been able to understand through the speaker of her cell phone was that the magazine needed a “breath of fresh air” and therefore had decided to get rid of their motorsport department in the composition in which it had existed until then…or something like that. (Y/N) wasn't entirely sure, as she was overcome with panic as her thoughts flew straight to Nico.

Just the night before, she had promised him on the phone that she would never miss the most important race of his career and now she was sitting in her hotel room, unemployed, with no access to the paddock and no way to get a ticket to the race because the tickets had already sold out weeks ago. 

Had a champion of misfortune been crowned that night, she was sure that no one would have been able to deprive her of that victory. Shaky fingers dialled Nico's number, which she by now knew better than she did her own, the cheap wood of the hotel bed creaking as (Y/N)'s leg bobbed up and down in unease. With each ring of the call, her breath caught in her throat. The ex-reporter knew the driver too well by now to have expected him to use his cell phone so close to the race, but what other option did she have? She pressed the phone to her ear for a few more moments, each second more painful than the last, wide eyes staring blankly at the F1 broadcast on her TV screen. It was only when the drivers left their garages to get into formation that she dropped the cell phone from her ear and threw it onto the mattress behind her with a loud "Fuck!", followed by a strangled sob whilst desperate fingers pulled at her hair. 

As the race unfolded, the tension in the air was palpable. Nico and Lewis were locked in a fierce battle for the championship and every corner, every lap, seemed to carry the weight of each driver’s dreams. When Nico finally crossed the finish line , securing his victory, he felt a mix of euphoria and disbelief. After this particularly demanding season, he could finally breathe a sigh of relief, having  fulfilled his life-long dream of winning a World Driver’s Championship title.

The moment Nico stepped onto the podium to accept the championship trophy, he couldn’t help himself but to scan the crowd of reporters, still hoping to catch a glimpse of (Y/N). She had to be there, after all that’s what she had promised him. Yet, his friend still remained conspicuously absent. 

Nico held the coveted trophy high, the cheers of the crowd a deafening roar, as he smiled down at the sea of people. But even with a championship in hand and hundreds of people celebrating his achievement, there was a strange feeling of emptiness within his heart. As the champagne sprayed and the crowd celebrated, Nico's emotions were a turbulent mix of exhilaration and confusion. He couldn't help but wonder why (Y/N) hadn't been there smiling up at him, especially when she had been a constant presence throughout not only the season, but the majority of his career. The absence of his friend was like a splinter in his heart, casting a faint shadow over what should have been the most triumphant moment of his career. 

Meanwhile, (Y/N) watched the race unfold from her hotel room, fresh tears welling up in her eyes. The news of her abrupt departure from her reporting career had come as a shock, and she had fought bitterly against it. Her job had been her passion, and Formula 1 was her life. To be denied the opportunity to report on the championship-deciding race, and more importantly to support Nico in his most crucial moment, was a heartbreak she struggled to bear.

As she witnessed Nico celebrating his victory, the realization of her absence was a painful weight on both her shoulders and her mind. She had been forced to watch her friend reach the pinnacle of his career from a distance, unable to share this moment of glory with the man who had unknowingly stolen her heart. The tears she shed were a mixture of pride for her friend and a deep sense of sorrow for her own situation. 

Back at the race track, Nico's initial reaction, unaware of the circumstances behind his friend’s absence, was one of betrayal. Finding himself being swarmed by countless reporters fighting for even the smallest of chances to get a word from the freshly crowned champion, he couldn’t help the bitterness he began to feel towards (Y/N). If all of these random journalist could have turned up, then why couldn’t his dearest friend do the same for him. The longer Nico thought about it, the more he questioned his relationship with (Y/N), something which he had valued so highly up until that very moment. 

She hadn’t just used him to boost her journalism career, had she? As much as he wanted to shake the thought, the champion couldn’t stop the idea of having been used solely for thrilling stories and eye-catching headlines to consume him, clouding his mind as the pain of having been abandoned by the woman, whom he had opened himself up to, right when he needed her most, sank in. 

His heart was clouded by hurt, and the insufferable ache of believing he had been manipulated by someone he had grown to trust and even developed some sort of feelings for was something he didn't know whether he could cope with.

How could a person whom he valued so highly and would give anything for, be so selfish and leave him standing there like that, clutching his fulfilled lifelong dream in his hand and yet still feeling a hole in his heart. Had his feelings really blinded him to such an extent that he hadn't realized (Y/N)'s true nature, or had his heart perhaps never wished to recognize it in the first place ?

“Mr.Rosberg!” the shout of his name pulled the driver out of his thoughts. Blinking, his eyes travelled up the arm currently shoving a microphone into his face, before settling on the face of the reporter, whose red lips were pulled into an impatient smile. “I am sorry, I didn’t quite catch your question.” he mindlessly gestured around with his hand, hoping to come across as if he really hadn't caught the question in the bustling scenery. 

He raised his brows, a half-heartedly apologetic smile on his lips as he kept his attentive eyes on the reporter while waiting for her to repeat what she had just asked. The reporter laughed in a put-on fashion and Nico had to wrestle with himself to refrain from rolling his eyes.

"So," the woman thrust the microphone even further into his face, "I'd be really interested to know whether there was anyone who helped you get through this difficult season, or whether it was all down to you?" Almost immediately the driver put on the mask of a cocky smile. "No, all of that was entirely down to me and I dare say I managed pretty darn well." Nico’s hair bobbed as he nodded towards his trophy. His smile grew painful as he was intent on ignoring the extent of the lie he had just told and the pang of pain, that the conscious erasure of his relationship with (Y/N) caused deep within his core.

[fragmented-sike]

A Lifeline for DID/OSDD: The Journal that could Change your Life

Hey guys! We're incredibly excited to share something that's finally been released for a month now: the Pieces in Peace Journal. This journal isn't just another project for us-it's resource born out of necessity and a deep understanding of what it means to live with Dissociative Identity Disorder and Other Specified Dissociative Disorder. And to celebrate a month of being launched, we're hosting a GIVEAWAY where two (2) lucky winners will receive a copy of the journal along with free lifetime updates to the journal!

Why we created the Journal

Living with DID/OSDD can feel incredibly overwhelming. When I was first diagnosed, I felt so alone. I felt like a freak. I felt isolated and scared and confused. This is why I got online and found community here to begin with. The daily challenges of managing different parts of yourself, tracking moods, tracking time-loss, dealing with memory gaps, and trying to explain your experiences to others can make life feel chaotic and confusing. I've personally navigated these complexities for close to a decade now, as I was diagnosed nearly 8 years ago, and I know firsthand how difficult it can be to find the right tools and resources to help make sense of it all.

Access to care is a major issue for so many of us. Whether it's due to financial barriers, lack of knowledgeable therapists, or simply not knowing where to turn, many people with DID/OSDD struggle to find the support they need. That's why I created the Pieces in Peace Journal-to offer a comprehensive, supportive resource that can be used alongside therapy or as a standalone tool for those who don't have access to regular treatment. I consulted with DID specialists and took tools from my own extensive treatment history to create this resource to offer the community.

This journal is designed to help you navigate the multifaceted nature of DID and OSDD, providing structure and clarity amidst what can sometimes feel like chaos. It's a tool for self-discover, emotional regulation, and system collaboration-a way to bring a sense of peace and understanding to your journey.

In the Journal you will find:

Post-Regulation Tracker: Track your feelings and progress after using regulation techniques for better self-awareness.

Communication Log: Record interactions between alters to enhance system communication and understanding.

Distress Tolerance Plan: Quick steps and techniques to manage and reduce distress effectively.

System Collab Goals: Set and track collaborative goals within your system for cohesive growth and progress.

These sections, along with MANY others (over 100 pages!!), are designed to support you in understanding and managing your system. They're tools to help you keep track of your progress, set goals, and ensure that everyone in your system is working together toward common goals.

Why the Journal Matters:

This journal isn't just a collection of pages-it's a lifeline for those who feel lost in the complexities of DID and OSDD. Each section is thoughtfully crafted to address the unique challenges that come with living with a dissociative disorder.

How to Enter the Giveaway:

To celebrate the one month launch of the Pieces in Peace Journal, we're hosting a giveaway! Here's how you can enter:

Check out the Giveaway post on IG for ALL the details on entering. Reblogging here counts as an extra entry!

This giveaway is open internationally and ends on August 20, 2024

Thank you so much to everyone who has supported us over the many years we've been on Social Media. We used to have a tumblr under the name FrgmntdPsyche that we deleted many years ago, however we are back now and plan on staying. Thank you to all of you who have had interest in the Pieces in Peace Journal and have supported us in it's creation and release! We truly appreciate every one of you and hope this journal becomes a valuable companion on your journey.

Stay tuned as we continue to work on making more resources for people across many spectrums (CPTSD, Chronic Illness/Pain, ADHD, and more!), host more giveaways, and help as best we can to give back to an incredible community who has saved our life on more than one occasion. Join our Discord for even more support and a great little cozy community of amazing people!

[saturnianprincess]

[mini] pick a card

Channeled messages that you need to hear.

[I mainly use my intuition and interpret the cards. As always pick the pile you feel inclined to choose. Please take what resonates and let the rest fly! Hope you enjoy :)]

Group 1

Firstly, I am very proud of each and every one of you who chose this pile. I see that you have faced some harsh situations but you kept persevering and made it through the stormy days. You have undergone a massive transformation; I see some of you have been healing your inner child while some of you are focussing on your career and working towards financial stability/independence. Keep going! You have realized that it is you only who can fill your own cup :) Some of you should start meditating/journaling and practice some self-love, this is a part of your healing journey. All in all, you have leveled up and you are evolving each and every day ♡

Extra messages: sunny days, birds chirping by your window, 111, butterflies, iced latte, wired earphones, beige jumper, divine intervention, gold star

Group 2

Okay, so there are two energies in this group. Some of you are manifesting or rather waiting for their manifestation to show up. I am seeing someone eagerly wait for a parcel to get delivered and they keep checking their front door. The thing about manifestation is that unlike your amazon parcels you really cannot track it when the universe deems it's the correct time it will show up and most of the time it's always unexpected. You would not even realize that you had manifested it because it would naturally fit into your life. Don't worry babies you will get whatever it is you want just be patient and don't try to chase it. While for the other energy I am seeing your guides want you to start manifesting, you don't have to necessarily practice manifestation techniques you will know what you feel called to do. I see that community service and volunteering will help some of you to detach from what you want.

Extra messages: 1010, old coins, silver jewelry, 333, recharge, palm trees, family heirlooms, grandfather clock

Group 3

Someone here has some people who really want to see your downfall. Backstabbing energy here. Those of you who chose this group I see deception at play here. You may have friends/family/someone very close to you who could sabotage you. You might not be seeing this person's red flags!!! This could be someone with who you may have shared your aspirations or hopes about life in general and I'm sorry to say this but they really don't support you or have the best intentions at heart for you. But don't panic they will show you their true colors because your spirit guides are protecting you. Take off your rose-colored glasses and tighten up your boundaries. Learn to say NO. Also for some of you, I see you are in a state of self-sabotage, get rid of those toxic habits because these will not help you achieve your goals. The choices you make now are important so please don't ruin the best of what life has to offer you.

Extra messages: 666, blindfold, black feather, someone's grandma is their spirit guide, evil eye bracelet

©️2022 saturnianprincess | home

[violet-hearth]

Magical Note Keeping ...

Happy Friday! 

Today I wanted to take a step back and talk about information keeping, i.e. grimoires and journals. This will be a mostly beginner focussed post, however if you are a regular practitioner who has been feeling stuck or stagnant, I hope this can give you a little motivation to find new ways to view your practice. 

Magic is a personal and experimental practice. Information keeping - whether this be general witchcraft knowledge or the specifics spells you are doing is an important practice to keep. If you do not keep records, how will you know what has worked and what hasn’t? 

NOTE: I do not practise Wicca and therefore do not feel comfortable talking about the practice of a ‘book of shadows’ but use whatever terminology and definitions feel most comfortable to you 

A grimoire is generally understood as being a journal or spell book documenting your magical “workings, musings, inspirations, and ideas” (Queering Your Craft). It is a solely personal record that can be customised to how you work best - whether this is through several themed notebooks, using apps like notion to create a wiki-style database, or through keeping an ‘everything journal’ that is a combination of information, spellwork, and journaling.

Regardless of what you call it I highly recommend keeping a research notebook or journal where you can record your thoughts, notes and reflections on the books you are reading.

I personally use a combination of a 46 pocket notebook where I journal, take notes, keep my shopping lists, write about spells, and record my tarot and carromancy readings, as well as other more specialised notebooks and digital note taking apps. You can personalise your system of information keeping however you like, but if you feel stuck here are some formats and ideas to try out: 

Junk journaling or scrapbooking: create collages for manifestations, paste in printed and handwritten spells, utilise art magic 

Create a ‘cook book’ of spells, recipes, and your favourite dishes for a more kitchen and hearth notebook 

Work in a sketchbook and create a more visual notebook whether this is similar to the junk journal or through sketching and painting plants and step by step recipe comics 

Use a binder or folder to keep all your note and spells organised 

Use notion or obsidian to create a ‘wiki’ of all your information and spell tracking 

Create a reference book of associations, spells, and rituals

Record your walks in a nature journal (this can be for both rural and urban), take note of plants in the pavement, trees, birds, animals, people, the weather

A Note from ‘Queer Your Craft’ by Cassandra Snow:

“Queer community has always been drawn to personal accounts and the written word, and these can be a fantastically witchy way to own and tell your own story as you move through it. Sure, you can decorate it to look more queer or personal and include explicity queer stories and spells, and I recommend all of those things. It's also worth noting that recording your own triumphs and pitfalls and chronicling your own journey towards liberation (not to mention that of any movements you're a part of) is a badass move all its own.”

In my personal practice and experience, art and writing are powerful tools of expression whilst also a way of reflecting on and healing from things of our past. As Juliet Diaz notes in ‘The Altar Within’ (which I would HIGHLY recommend!):

“Reflection is a powerful tool. From scanning your day to addressing lingering things, reflection helps us understand our lives and the lives of those around us. If we don’t reflect, our minds will try to make sense of life in their own way, causing more noise in our heads.” 

Juliet Diaz recommends setting time aside each day to unwind, make yourself a cult of tea, and spend 10-15 minutes a day with your journal. When we come to witchcraft from the perspective of being from minority groups and poverty, we carry a lot of shame, worry, and stress. Journaling often helps us process this. The goal isn’t to live the ‘love and light’ new age mindset (in fact I urge you to avoid it entirely) but to be self aware, and to be reflective of our feelings and our practice. 

Whilst Juliet Diaz recommends stream of consciousness to help you clear your mind, if you wish for more formalised reflections techniques I suggest Gibbs Reflective Cycle to help you look back on past experiences. I find having a structure useful on days when I am overwhelmed or processing larger events and can be used for spell work, rituals, or your everyday journaling. 

Journaling and record keeping are both important parts of developing a magical practice. They aren’t required, but can be helpful tools to keep things in order. No matter what format (if any) you use to keep track of your craft, take a deep breath and remember it doesn’t have to be perfect. Be kind to yourself and use whatever tools are comfortable to you. 

Sources:

Queering Your Craft by Cassandra Snow 

Sacred Sex: The Magick and Path of the Divine Erotic by Gabriela Herstik

The Altar Within by Juliet Diaz 

Witchery by Juliet Diaz

[youtube video] Putting the "Craft" in Witchcraft with Marshall Witch of Southern Light by The Witch of Wonderlust 

[youtube video] ROCK your Grimoire! Sacred If You Make It So: BOS Love [Tour],Tips & Prompts by Molly Roberts

[theegreenmuse]

⋆˚✿˖° 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐌𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞 𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝: 𝐌𝐲 𝐉𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐔𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐠𝐧𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐀𝐃𝐇𝐃 ⋆˚✿˖°

🪷 Being a middle child often comes with its own unique set of challenges. You're sandwiched between the overachieving firstborn and the pampered youngest, often feeling like you're in a constant battle for attention and validation. For me, this dynamic has been even more complicated by my suspicion that I might have ADHD—yet I remain undiagnosed.

The Middle Child Dilemma

🪷 Growing up as the middle child, I always felt like I was walking a tightrope. My older sibling was the trailblazer, the one who set the standards. My younger sibling, on the other hand, was the baby of the family, often receiving a level of attention and care that seemed to bypass me. In this mix, I found myself striving to be seen, to carve out my own identity amidst the noise.

The ADHD Mystery

🪷 From a young age, I noticed that my mind worked differently. I struggled to focus on tasks, my thoughts constantly racing from one thing to another. Simple assignments took me twice as long to complete, and I often found myself daydreaming during important moments. It wasn't until I started learning more about ADHD that I began to connect the dots.

ADHD, or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, is a condition characterized by persistent patterns of inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. For many, it goes undiagnosed for years, often misunderstood or mistaken for mere laziness or lack of discipline. I suspect that I might have ADHD, but I haven't been officially diagnosed yet. This uncertainty has been both a relief and a source of frustration.

Navigating Life with Undiagnosed ADHD

Living with undiagnosed ADHD feels like running a race with untied shoelaces. You're constantly tripping, trying to catch up, and struggling to understand why you're always a step behind. Here are some of the specific struggles I face:

1. Focus and Productivity: Completing tasks feels like an uphill battle. My mind wanders, making it difficult to stay on track with my goals, whether it's for school, work, or personal projects.

2. Emotional Regulation: ADHD can impact emotions, leading to heightened sensitivity and frustration. I often feel overwhelmed by emotions, swinging from highs to lows without warning.

3. Interpersonal Relationships: Maintaining relationships can be challenging. I sometimes interrupt others unintentionally or struggle to follow conversations, leading to misunderstandings.

4. Self-Esteem: Constantly feeling like I'm not living up to my potential has taken a toll on my self-esteem. I often compare myself to my siblings and peers, feeling inadequate in comparison.

5. Feeling Invalidated: When I tried to talk about ADHD with my friends, I felt laughed at and dismissed. Coming from foreign families, they often didn't understand or validate my feelings. This lack of support has made it even harder to navigate my struggles.

———————

Finding My Path

Despite these struggles, I'm determined to find my path. I've started to adopt strategies to manage my symptoms, even without a formal diagnosis. Here are some steps I'm taking:

1. Educating Myself: Understanding ADHD and its impact has been empowering. Knowledge is power, and the more I learn, the better equipped I am to manage my challenges.

2. Creating Structure: Implementing routines and organizational systems helps me stay on track. I use planners, to-do lists, and reminders to keep my tasks in order.

3. Seeking Support: Talking to friends, family, and even online communities has provided a sense of understanding and validation. I'm not alone in this journey, and connecting with others who share similar experiences has been comforting.

4. Mindfulness and Self-Care: Practicing mindfulness and self-care routines helps me manage stress and stay grounded. Techniques like meditation, deep breathing, and journaling have become essential tools in my toolkit.

———————

Looking Ahead

While the journey with undiagnosed ADHD is challenging, it's also a journey of self-discovery and growth. I'm learning to embrace my unique way of thinking and to find strength in my struggles. Being a middle child has taught me resilience, and navigating life with suspected ADHD is teaching me perseverance.

If you suspect you might have ADHD or are facing similar challenges, know that you're not alone. Seeking help, whether through professional diagnosis or self-education, is a vital step toward understanding and managing your unique brain. Together, we can navigate this journey, find our strengths, and thrive despite the obstacles.

Feel free to share your thoughts or experiences in the comments below. Let's support each other on this journey to self-discovery and growth.

With love,

𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐆𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐧𝐌𝐮𝐬𝐞

[forenoonbeauty]

PAC:- You can be anything and have anything 'cos everything is Within you 🌟

Which method will help you to manifest fast? ✨

(First of all let me make it clear every method of manifestation works,there is no wrong and right method. we manifest everything and every second on daily purpose so just take it easy and have fun with this reading, take this reading as your sign to choose the method which is for you 'cos everyone is diffrent and has diffrent mindset and ways to connect themselves to thier best version for manifesting)

CHOOSE YOUR PILE 🌱

Pile >>>1 >>>2

Pile>>>3>>>4

Pile>>>5>>>6.

Pile 1 (rose)

Journaling is the great way for you in manifesting journey for instant manifestation, you may love to sit alone and think about your desires or you may think about it consistently iam seeing some of you actually maintain journal and some of you are heavily drawn to the idea of journaling your dreams and desires please start it rn if you didn't till now(!!) Journaling is good for you because you're the someone who is emotional or gets emotional by looking at the time who you were and who you are now and that's why when you start journaling you'll notice how far you've come without realising that you're getting close to your desires and it'll motivate you to not stop trusting. you're the person who gets positive and happy and act as it is already yours and the other day or two loosing the motivation so, pls don't. and start the journal to keep yourself on track of your manifestation.

I am not seeing any extra messages for this pile, this pile was straight forward and clear.

Thats it for you my pile 1 i hope you enjoyed my reading,byeee all the best 🤍

Pile 2(fur jacket)

I am seeing you as a badass and laid-back in manifesting and not totally relying on it to happen and making a move by yourself I think you believe in having a dream to work on it and watch it being your reality rather than sitting in a room and dreaming endlessly about it without doing anything. The best way for you to get manifest is the confidence and trust in yourself and the feeling of you deserve it which you already have.

You maybe great at manifesting and you may also give advice to people on social media or in real life on how to manifest things better and quickly or you may love to self talk in the mirror which makes you feel great and abundant and helps you get the things you desire.

self talk, confidence and Trust in yourself is enough to transform you from where you are now to where you want to be✨

Extra messages:- golden, meditation, 444, dreams, finally, ain't good, sign, winning, crying, better, written, far away from here.

Thats it for you my pile 2 hope you enjoyed my reading, byeee all the best 🤍

Pile 3 (Vogue)

For you my pile 3 Scripting and speaking into the existence gives you motivation and you love to manifest in that way and it is the way to keep getting towards your dreams, I see how you dream big and stay in and mind your own business and distance yourself from drama and negative people which really helps you to keep your mind healthy and on peace level, which is really great, you maybe finding new group of people who matches your mindset or may have that people already and you surround yourself only with them, you are very picky in deciding whom you should give your energy and time to. I see you stepping up your game and having major a glow up sooner. You keep your mind clean and so passionate in keeping yourself healthy and clean looking, iam again and again getting you're very picky, picky in eating, picky in dressing yourself, picky to play songs 'cos you only want to vibe on positive things , thats really great of you pile 3. So anyways as I said scripting and speaking into existence is really a great way for you to manifest.

Extra messages: - song I ain't worried (by One republic), virgo , international, forever, plane, gaze, gemini, jupiter, 333, 888.

Thats it for you my pile 3 I hope you enjoyed my reading,byeee all the best 🤍

Pile 4 (heart candle)

(If you got attracted to pile 5 read that too it may have some mssgs for you) You love it when you're all alone taking a walk or sitting cozy in your bedroom with all your pillows and thinking about your dreams and desires while songs play in back.

You may listen to subliminals too and try to follow journaling but you forget it the next day lol... Maybe you get emotional so much while thinking about your manifestation or just in general but you hey you don't lose hope and try to get rid of the thoughts you have, the limiting beliefs and the obsession you have within you but you don't admit it to yourself. Come on you're not on the wrong path and not alone there are so many people out there living their best lives and having their desires manifested in days so you can have to , have faith in yourself and the path you're following. So, the way/method you're following now has no problem and you can follow any kind of method you want to 'cos anything can work but before that you need to stop having limiting beliefs and doubts in your mind of how and when, get rid of your obsession and be clear in what you want, you're the one who is stopping yourself from getting results be patient and positive.

Extra messages:- 999, stop, voices, affirmations, be specific, don't overthink, focus, eat good, deadline, funny, sleep.

Thats it for you my pile 4 , I hope you enjoyed my reading byeee all the best 🤍

Pile 5 (pomegranate)

Oh my god pile 5, please have some patience and stick to the same goal rather than changing it again and again and being impatient and obsessive over it won't bring you the things you wished for, it'll just leave you desperate and you'll loose your peace of mind , remember to have a better sleep and peace within yourself because it helps your mind to know more clear about your goals and ambitions and gives you your desires quickly, the more easy you're on yourself the more closer you'll get to your goal pressure leads you to nothing okay. You should work on your mindset and be CLEAR about what you want, and start listing the things you want to have for manifesting it easily and by writing in detail you'll know what you actually want from inside. So, please try it and be clear to yourself and have a clear mindset.

Extra messages: - pretty, close, november, music, cups, clear, fast, nights, changes, blessings, forward, wholesome, 442.

Thats it for you my pile 5, byeee all the best 🤍

Pile 6(skirt)

Writing your goals , practicing gratitude journal and making a vision board is the most effortless and fastest way of you to manifest.

Honestly I am seeing you not get obsessed over your result and have patience and you don't think much about it , you do your daily activities and imagine it all day you basically day dream about your manifestation coming into fruition 🌟 thats cool iam seeing you are good with visualising and are very clear and straight into knowing what you want and you don't choose a path which dosen't aling with your path of the goal you have in mind honestly, thats so cool. You will surely get where you want to be 'cos you're really self aware and now what you want and have no fear of taking risks at all I think you trust on the term of "asking for it to have and getting it from the universe automatically and effortlessly". I love your mindset tbh.

Extra messages: - abundant, green, love, 554, 555, all, seasons, good, cravings, smiles, dressing style, silk, glitter, happy, letter H, Taurus, games.

Thats it for you my pile 6, byeee all the best 🤍

[bloomzone]

The "Lucky Vicky" Mindset

The Lucky Vicky Mindset, inspired by K-pop idol Jang Wonyoung from the gg ive , emphasizes a positive, resilient approach to life. This mindset encourages self-improvement, focusing on personal strengths, and maintaining a positive outlook even in challenging situations.

୨ৎ Key Principles of the Lucky Vicky Mindset

1. Born Strong from the Start

- Understand that mistakes are opportunities for growth.

- 💌 Embrace failures as learning experiences. If you fail a test or face a setback, view it as a chance to learn and grow stronger.

2. Maintain Your Own Pace

- Avoid comparing yourself to others and focus on your own journey.

- 💌 Set personal goals and milestones. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small. Track your improvement and stay motivated by your achievements.

3. Focus on Strengths Rather Than Weaknesses

- Concentrate on developing your strengths instead of fixating on weaknesses.

- 💌 Identify your unique strengths and find ways to use them to your advantage. Work on improving areas of weakness without letting them overshadow your strengths.

୨ৎ Practical Steps to Adopt the Lucky Vicky Mindset

1. Daily Affirmations

- Start each day with positive affirmations that reinforce your strengths and potential. For example, “I am capable of achieving my goals,” or “I learn from my mistakes and grow stronger.”

2. Reflect and Reframe

- When faced with a setback, reflect on what happened and how you can learn from it. Reframe negative thoughts into positive ones. Instead of thinking, “I failed,” consider, “I learned a valuable lesson.”

3. Goal Setting

- Set specific, achievable goals that align with your strengths and interests. Break them down into smaller, manageable tasks to track your progress and maintain motivation.

4. Mindfulness and Self-Care

- Practice mindfulness to stay focused on the present moment and reduce anxiety about the future. Incorporate self-care routines such as meditation, exercise, or hobbies you enjoy.

5. Surround Yourself with Positivity

- Surround yourself with positive influences, such as supportive friends, inspiring content, or motivational quotes. Engage with communities that uplift and encourage you.

୨ৎ Addressing Challenges

1. Dealing with Negative Feedback

- Understand that negative feedback is part of growth. Use it constructively to improve while not letting it undermine your self-worth. Assess feedback objectively and create a plan to address it.

2. Overcoming Jealousy

- Acknowledge feelings of jealousy without letting them control you. Use others' achievements as inspiration rather than a benchmark for your success. Remind yourself that everyone’s journey is unique.

3. Managing Self-Doubt

- Combat self-doubt by reflecting on your past achievements and the progress you've made. Keep a journal of your successes and revisit it when you need a confidence boost.

[remembertheplunge]

I've never been here before

May 21, 2023 8:38pm. Sunday

May. May Day. May pole. Mayhem. Melee (May-Lay)

I’ve never been here before. I’ve never known this shade of dark living. Since 1958, I’ve never known a Zoe-less world. I’m not the same person that I was. (before Zoe's death)

In a B J Miller hospice you tube talk tonight, the moderator asked if returning to work aided the mourning process.

BJ said to balance the two. There is a need for grieving and a need for work. Integrate them. He used some other term, but, that’s what he meant.

So, back to work tomorrow.

10:03pm

While lying in bed, I felt someone rub the top of my head. Then, a moment later, I felt 3 taps on my forehead.  I said “Hello Zoe. Are you there?” (There was no one else in the room with me)

5/24/2023 Wednesday 9:26pm

Zoe’s been dead for 10 day’s now. What’s it like to have been dead that long, Zoe? Skyler and I had a long talk tonight about how lonely this journey is. No one can understand, comprehend. They don’t need to. I have never felt this before or been here before. The Zoe-less world. I still can’t believe it.

End of this part of these journal entries

Zoe was born in 1958 and died on May 14, 2023. I was born in 1955.

BJ Miller is an end of life care physician who speaks and writes on the topic of end of life care.

Skyler, Zoes friend, was instrumental in providing end of life care to her.

Skyler and I talked today, May 2, 2024. The one year anniversary of Zoe's death is difficult for both of us.

So odd to think that I haven't talked with Zoe for about one year.

Im posting a photo tonight containing photos of Zoe taken in San Diego in the 1980's. She lived and taught elementary school there for 20 years. I glued her photos to a record containing the sound track from the 1985 movie "A Room With a View". I saw the movie just as I began my volunteer work with men with Aids in Sacramento in 1986. The beauty of that film and its title song , Puccini's "O Mio Babino Caro" infuse my memories of the tragic, brave and beautiful early days of Aids work. And, caught the gentle touch that Zoe gave to life as well.

[xomaleyaxo]

R2 → SOLO ALBUM

Name: Catharsis

Meaning: The process of releasing, and thereby providing relief from, strong or repressed emotions.

Released: March 20th, 2024 (Also known as International day of Happiness)

Message for Fans:

"To my beloved fans, who have stood by me through every twist and turn, I dedicate this album to you. My hope is that, together, we can release the grip of past hurts and shed the weight of our shared experiences. May this catharsis be the beginning of a more beautiful chapter in all our lives. Thank you for being my constant companions on this incredible journey."

Track list + Meaning's behind songs:

*I have changed some of the lyrics to fit my OC and her story*

1- R.I.P 2 My Youth

"R.I.P. to my youth, And you could call this the funeral, I'm just telling the truth, yeah You can play this at my funeral, Tell my sister don't cry and don't be sad, I'm in paradise with dad, Close my eyes and then cross my arms, Put me in the dirt, let me dream with the stars"

This song was written in 2018 when Mirae was experiencing a challenging period, dealing with criticism from various corners of the internet and sensing that she had matured too quickly. The lyrics explored themes of growing up, confronting challenges, and reflecting on the inevitable changes that accompany the passage of time. In an interview discussing the song, she expressed how it served as the best outlet for her to escape those emotions, allowing her to pour her feelings into the music.

2- Making The Bed

"And I tell someone I love them just as a distraction, They tell me that they love me like I'm some tourist attraction, They're changin' my machinery and I just let it happen, I got the things I wanted, it's just not what I imagined"

This song was written in 2019 during a period of heightened success for Blackpink, where they were becoming more recognized and well-known. Mirae, amidst reaching new career heights, found herself feeling trapped. Despite achieving professional success, her personal life was at its lowest point. Amid all the attention, she experienced a profound sense of loneliness, realizing that despite being surrounded by people, no one truly understood her.

3- Idontwannabeyouanymore

"If "I love you" was a promise Would you break it, if you're honest? Tell the mirror what you know she's heard before I-I don't wanna be you, I don't wanna be you I don't wanna be you, anymore"

Originally written in 2015 when she was giving her all to pursue her dream and finally debut, but the challenges of being away from home for extended periods and enduring countless long days were taking a toll on her. Sick and tired of embodying this version of herself, she wrote these lyrics in her journal. She rediscovered them in 2017 and completed the song that day, feeling immensely proud as her emotions were raw and deeply emotional.

4- The Last Time ft. TAEYANG

"This is the last time I'm asking you this, Put my name at the top of your list, This is the last time I'm asking you why, You break my heart in the blink of an eye, eye, eye"

In 2021, she composed this song upon hearing about her sister's relationship struggles and the immense effort she was putting into making it work with her boyfriend. Initially, she shared the song with her sister but decided against releasing it as it felt like it was missing something. Then, when Youngbae approached her for a collaboration, she brought up this song, and he loved it. They ended up recording for it that night after rewriting some parts and she couldn't be more proud of the outcome.

5- The Other Side

"We are buried in broken dreams, We are knee-deep without a plea, I don't want to know what it's like to live without you, Don't want to know the other side of a world without you"

Written in 2019 after Hanbin ended their relationship due to his scandal, she poured her heartbreak onto the pages of her journal as a way of releasing her emotions. Hanbin, her first love and long-time friend, had become an integral part of her life, and the prospect of living without him left her feeling lost and hurt. Despite her desire to stand by him and offer support during his challenging times, he had cut her off completely, leaving her scared about facing life without him. Initially hesitant due to the rawness of the emotions, she ultimately decided to include the song in the album as a way of sharing her genuine self with her fans.

6- The one

"But we were something, don't you think so? Early 20s, tossing pennies in the pool, And if my wishes came true, It would've been you, In my defense, I have none, For never leaving well enough alone, But it would've been fun, If you would've been the one"

Written in 2021 after she had finally felt fully moved on from Hanbin and looked back on the relationship in a more positive light. Despite their bad ending, she was grateful to have experienced a good first love and was thankful for all he taught her. Despite moving on from the relationship, she still did feel that if it had all worked out and the scandal hadn't happen, they still would have probably been together and he would have been the one.

7- Just Like Magic

"Good karma, my aesthetic (my aesthetic) Keep my conscience clear, that's why I'm so magnetic Manifest it (ooh), I finessed it (ooh) Take my pen and write some letters to heaven"

Written in 2020 during a moment of reflection, she wrote this song to focus on finding the good in each day. The lyrics delve into the concept of manifestation, expressing her desire to prioritize self-focus. Rather than dwelling on negativity, she wishes to spread love and light to other around her. The line "Writing letters to heaven" was included by her as a remembrance of her father. It symbolizes her belief that he is always by her side, ready to assist in making her manifestations come true.

8- Dancing With Our Hands Tied

"I, I loved you in secret, First sight, yeah, we love without reason, Oh, twenty-five years old, Oh, how were you to know, and My, my love had been frozen, Deep blue, but you painted me golden"

" I, I loved you in spite of Deep fears that the world would divide us So, baby, can we dance Oh, through an avalanche?"

In 2023, Mirae wrote this song to commemorate her and Mingyu's first anniversary, a time when everything seemed to be going splendidly. Despite the immense happiness she felt, a lingering fear persisted—one day, the media might uncover their relationship, and thrust them into the challenging reality of managing a high-profile relationship in an unforgiving industry. The options would be stark: either confront and navigate the consequences or retreat into a secret relationship. Given her profound love for Mingyu, Mirae was unwilling to jeopardize their bond. The metaphor of dancing with their hands tied in the song conveys the profound sense of helplessness, an inability to alter their circumstances despite the intensity of their love. In the face of an apparent doom, the couple endeavors to make the most of their time together, cherishing every moment as they navigate the complexities of their high-profile relationship. When she played it for him the first time, Mingyu fell in love with the song and despite its deep meaning, it became his favorite as he too felt those same emotions from time to time but he knew that he would go through every obstacle just to be with her.

9- Daylight

"I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you, And I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you, I've been sleepin' so long in a twenty-year dark night, And now I see daylight, I only see daylight"

In 2023, after returning home from a vacation with Mingyu, Mirae penned this song as a heartfelt tribute to him. The lyrics convey the profound impact he has had on her life, transforming her days into brighter and happier experiences. In contrast to past relationships that left her feeling unsuccessful and unlucky, meeting Mingyu brought a golden hue to her existence. The song reflects her desire to focus solely on him and their shared happiness, leaving behind the shadows of the past.

10- Only

"My only one, when I see you I want to lean on you, I want to have you A love like this would make, Even the most immature dream come true Now I believe, Every step we take, It's like a dance we perform together, My, oh my, oh my, oh, my love, Be my only love"

In late 2023, following Mingyu's heartwarming meeting with Mirae's mother and siblings, she found herself overwhelmed with emotions, convinced that Kim Mingyu was her forever love. Witnessing the beautiful bond between him and her family inspired her to express her deep feelings through a song, a musical testament to their connection. Driven by the desire to be his and his alone, Mirae initially intended to keep the song as a birthday surprise for Mingyu. However, the anticipation and excitement got the best of her, and during the festive Christmas season, Mirae decided to reveal the song to Mingyu. His genuine and joyful reaction convinced her that this song held a special place in their story. Impressed by the overwhelming positive response from Mingyu, she made the bold decision to include the song in her upcoming album and even selected it as the title track. Fans eagerly awaited the album's release after getting a glimpse of the heartfelt and personal track, eager to experience the full emotional journey that Mirae had poured into her music.

A/N- Will be posting a part 2 for the Only Mv and Visuals!!

[jo-harrington]

Jo’s NaNoWriMo Journal - Day 1

An Unexpected Journey

Total Words Written: 0 Miles Being Driven: 445 Caffeine Consumed: 16oz Pumpkin Cold Brew, 2 Diet Cokes, and a Peach Celsius

So here we are. It’s 2023. I’m a week away from my 29th birthday. I’m once again entrenched in fandom and almost a year back into posting fanfiction publicly. In the past year I’ve written over 200k, on top of probably the most hectic years (both personally and career-wise) of my short life. I’m tired.

But I’m already doing some sort of creative writing daily as an outlet in some kind of capacity. (Which is funny because part of my job is actually technical writing. If only I kept track of that word count too. Does this mean I’m actually a paid writer?)

My Goal: Write 50k in November. No novel. Just reach 50k. Easy? Maybe. I think having a plot-specific goal or full endgame of the stories (fics) I’m writing, considering that I KNOW MYSELF…its not gonna go well. So we’re going for words. A few thousand a day for 30 days.

I can do it. I know I can. Famous last words? What could possibly go wrong.

[originallandlockedmariner]

This is for me.

I need to remind myself that we all wander off the path. It’s ok. Just be aware and get back on it.

I wrote this awhile ago. Time to read it again...

“M.A.K.E. your goals a reality this year."

Usually by the 3rd or 4th week of January the gym crowd thins, the desire to adhere to resolutions made wanes and, for a good many of us, the wheels completely fall off. Staying accountable is vital to growth, to progress and, if nothing else, the secret to any amount of success. Whether you use vision boards, journals, tape quotes to your bathroom mirror, or post ‘before’ pictures on your Socials, staying focused is key. Personally, I struggle to remember anything past 4 or 5 ‘rules’, welcome to being 50+ I guess, so the acronym M.A.K.E. is a simple way to help hold myself accountable to my goals.

M is for Mindset. For any progress to happen, you first need to get your head right. Know why you’re doing this not just the ‘what and how’ of it. If you don't have a concrete reason, then you probably won't stick to it since it's not that important to you, and when the going gets tough, you'll likely quit. Why invest and make sacrifices for something that you don't see a lot of value in?

A is for Accountability partner. Having someone in your corner, someone to remind you to stay on track, or workout with, do food prep with, discuss disappointments and triumphs with, makes it feel like you aren’t wallowing alone. The key is finding someone reliable and truly committed, besides - guilt goes a long way. No one really succeeds by themselves. This can include mutuals online as well, especially anyone on the same journey as you.

K stands for Knowledge. Knowing more about your personal goals will help strengthen your "why". By reading blogs, books, watching documentaries, and talking to your friends and/or experts that care just as much about being healthy as you do, enables you to gather insight. You slowly learn to make a conscious effort to better your life.

And E, Evaluate. Take stock of what works for you, the improvements you’ve made, the setbacks, listen to your body, assess workouts and your diet. Record all of it. Revisit it and change accordingly. Alter anything that isn’t help you move forward. Be trenchantly honest with yourself. If bad habits are interfering with your goals, then only you can do something about it.

So here’s to a wonderful adventurous goal-crushing journey !!