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xfandomwritingsx · 4 years

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Authenticity – John Constantine (2005)

-gif source unknown-

Description: Challenge: The we have to kiss right now or they’ll notice we’re not supposed to be here trope.

Warnings/Labels: Mentions of a hard-on but that’s about it.

Approx. Word Count: 2,500

A/N: For Meg’s (@thranduilsperkybutt) 11k Follower Challenge. I was super excited to do this one. Hopefully all of you enjoy.

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“You look uncomfortable,” you say at a volume that only he can hear in the crowded bar. One of his arms is behind you on the armchair’s extra plump armrest and you don’t even have to see it to know that he’s got a near white knuckled grip on the edge, digging his fingers into the cushion. You’re seated on his lap, nestled in close with your legs thrown over the other armrest and between the way his thighs are entirely too tense underneath you and the way his hand practically hovers over your shins like he’s afraid to touch you, it’s very obvious he’s not doing a good job at faking this whole cover story.

“That’s probably because I am uncomfortable,” he snaps back through gritted teeth. Your eyes scan the dark bar, looking for your target as you throw one arm over the back of his shoulders to pull him in even closer, running your other hand over his chest.

“We’re supposed to be lovers,” you remind him a little quieter, getting closer to his ear. He flinches and you can tell he’s resisting the instinct to lean away. “You’re so stiff.” You squeeze his shoulder. “And not in the good way,” you tease. He grinds his jaw and if he weren’t so close to blowing your cover, you might have found it funny.

“This whole thing was your plan,” he says coarsely as his eyes drop down to your skirt that’s slowly riding too far up your thighs every time you shift on him. You wonder if he’s debating on yanking it back down for you.

He was right though. This was entirely your plan. Information about a demon making some very illegal deals and trades had brought you upstate to a fairly new underground demon bar whose appeal was largely influenced by the sin of lust. Risqué artwork, a red motif that you weren’t entirely sure wasn’t meant to symbolize blood instead of romance, and cozy dark corners all helped embody the hedonism-esque atmosphere. So yes, it made sense to enter as pseudo-lovers to scope the place out. You’d thrown on a wig and some tight clothes that teetered the line between glamorous and grungy. Then you’d forced Constantine out of his suit jacket and tie in order to blend in, hoping neither of you would be recognized.

But as you had forgone one of those dimly lit corners in favor of an oversized, plush, velvet armchair closer to the middle of the room for better visuals, his hesitancy to even touch you is bound to stand out and draw the wrong kind of attention. The bartender, who already had raised an eyebrow at your apparently uncommon drink order, was watching you both a little too closely for your liking.

“Next time I’ll remember to ask someone a little less uptight,” you threaten idly as you do another quick scan of the room. You both knew it was a lie. He’s your go-to partner and on the rare occasions where his dumbass will admit he needs help, you’re his too. “Would you just touch me already?” you snap at him sharply, noticing more eyes on you.

“Most women ask me that question with a much nicer tone.” The words are dry, but the humor is still behind them nonetheless and you catch the glint of a smile on his lips. He lets his hand come down fully and relax on your shin which still isn’t great, but it’s better. Bastard should feel lucky you remembered to shave your legs at the last minute too. “Have you spotted our guy yet?” he asks as if you were the only one looking.

“Not yet,” you tell him, leaning in to whisper it to him in hopes of looking intimate. His flinch is much less noticeable this time at least. “You need to relax,” you chide. “You’re going to draw the wrong kind of looks.” He gives a humorously gentle squeeze to your leg in response and you can’t help but smile at his timid behavior.

You let your eyes search the room in the most casual way you can. You lean over to the side to the small table in front of the chair where your drinks reside. Constantine’s hand finally leaves the armrest to sweep over your waist, making sure you don’t topple off his lap when you reach for your beer mug. You take a slow swig of it, eyes peering over the lip of the mug to keep fanning over the room. You put it back down, his fingers sinking into the pocket of your waist as you make the stretch.

You readjust yourself on his legs and make a show of cuddling up to him. You’re a little impressed that he keeps his hand on you. He slides it up your side, resting it under your arm and shifting his own up your back to allow you to lean onto the armrest like you had been. You can feel the warmth of his forearm, bare from his rolled up sleeves, seeping through your relatively thin shirt and relax into it. When his fingertips brush the side of your breast, you can barely feel it through the absurd amount of padding in your bra, but you figure it’s good for show.

Another fifteen minutes pass and you continue to unsuccessfully try to get Constantine not to look like he wants to crawl away from you. In that time, you notice the bartender cast suspicious eyes your way a few too many times for your liking. When one of the bouncers just happens to show up at the bar to talk to him, you know you’re about to have a problem.

“Bail or sell it,” you warn Constantine. He furrows his brows, not following you. “Either we get out right now or we find a way to sell our cover story in a hot damn hurry.” You tap his shoulder with the hand you’ve flung around his neck again to indicate a direction without your eyes. “Or else beefed up half-breed over there’s gonna start something I didn’t bring proper footwear for.” You had not come in tonight looking for a fight and the black heels you’re wearing are a testament to that. You leave the decision in his hands and fully expect to be walking quickly towards the door in a moment’s time.

“Fuck it,” he whispers harshly and before you have a chance to question what reaction that was meant to imply, the hand at your side tightens, hugging you even closer to his chest and the hand that previously rested on your shin is suddenly at your neck, pulling you into a crashing kiss.

There’s definitely a slight mmph noise that escapes your mouth and you have to forcibly repress the instinctive surprise from flashing over your face. When your brain catches up with what’s happening, you expect a fairly chaste decoy kiss, but the way his lips are moving against yours and the heated way his fingertips press into the back of your neck prove contrary to that thought.

You realize quickly that now you’re the one acting oddly, being unusually rigid for a woman being ravished by her supposed lover. So you return the kiss in the same way he’s giving it; hot and heavy. Your mouth opens easily beneath his and your hands are suddenly gripping at his clothes. There’s little actual romance to the kiss, your eyes still opening into slits to jump around the room, making sure it’s working. The only eyes on you now are the intrigued ones, the voyeur eyes. The bartender has gone back to his duties, seemingly satisfied with your display.

You pull away from Constantine by mere inches, ready to let him go and release him from the ruse. He takes a single, deep but fleeting look at you before the hand on your neck pushes up into your wig. He kisses you again as he pulls roughly, sitting you up and using his other hand to help guide you where he wants you.

It takes you by surprise, but the way he handles you doesn’t leave you wanting to fight it. The fist twisting in your fake strands of hair makes you regret wearing a wig. He’s making you ache to feel that pleasurable tug at your scalp. Your hands are forced to let go of him and brace yourself on the back of the chair in order to follow the direction of his pull, turning you to face him and slipping his hand between your legs. His fingers press into your inner thigh to push your thighs open over his lap all while keeping his lips up against yours.

Your eyes are sealed shut this time, getting completely lost in his kiss and his touch. His hand slides around to the back of your thigh, pulling you closer to slot your pelvis over his. The moan that slips through your lips when you feel the bulge pressing up through your panties is completely involuntary and causes a twitch beneath you. Was this why he’s been so hesitant to touch you all night? If only you’d realized before. His mouth opening under you and his tongue pressing against yours ceases your brain from thinking much further.

You move your hands from the chair back to his face to slide and cup his jaw, allowing yourself to put your full weight onto his lap with a roll of your hips. He releases your wig and both of his hands glide over your ass, giving a small, discreet tug on the hem of your skirt to prevent it from riding up enough to give everyone here an eyeful. His fingers curl over the edge of the fabric and when you feel fingertips brush over the crease underneath your cheeks, you know the maneuver was not without a selfish motive.

One of your hands starts to melt down from his jaw to his neck and then slinks down further to his chest. And further still to his belly. And further still to his waistband. The rattle of his belt jolts him out of his daze and instantly, his hand shoots back between you to stop your motions as he pulls back from the heated kiss.

Your surroundings slowly bleed back into your consciousness and you voluntarily, although reluctantly, remove your hand from between you. Your breathing is heavier than you realized and there’s a look in Constantine’s eyes that has you wondering if he’s debating pulling you back down one more time. And damn it all if you didn’t want him to do just that. But the look is fleeting and he clearly decides against it as he gives your waist a push to back you off his lap.

You make quick adjustments of your clothes and your wig, hoping no one happened to notice anything awry. Getting to your feet, you spin around and quickly down the rest of your drink, a harsh mix of needing alcohol, quenching a sudden thirst, and finding something to do quickly flooding you.

“I’m going to go… freshen up.” Your voice is dry despite the beer you finished off and you don’t even spare Constantine a look over your shoulder before whisking yourself away to the restroom, skin still tingling and stomach flipping around inside of you so much that you feel the slightest bit dizzy.

You make it quick; splash a little water on your face and smooth out the wrinkles in your clothes before making your way back out. You don’t make it very far, rounding a corner and nearly running into Constantine’s chest. The freshness that the cool water had given your face is washed away instantly with a blush.

“Time to go,” he says simply, his face filled with a composure he apparently stole from you, reversing how you had been when you walked into the bar. Your only response is a furrowed brow as you step back, needing to keep some space between your bodies. Had the kiss not worked? Really? It sure as hell worked on you. “Our guy hasn’t made himself known, but a whole bunch of people from Midnight’s just walked in so our cover is useless.”

“Shit,” you hiss, shifting right back into work mode. “Alright, let’s slip out the back door.” You want to be pissed. The whole night is blown and you got nothing from it, wasting money and time. And yet, you’re still too preoccupied to be anything but a little relieved.

Constantine follows you down the back hall and towards the back exit into an alleyway. He’s silent behind you, but you can practically feel him on your heels and you resist the nervous urge to pull at your skirt; an urge you can’t help but notice you haven’t felt all night until now. When you open the back door, you take a look over your shoulder and catch his eyes lingering on your ass. His eyes flash to yours with a smirk on his lips and you can’t help but laugh as he follows you into the alley. Such a small thing throws your nerves out the door and you fall back into your regular selves.

Your heels click and splash on the wet pavement as you make your way back to the car parked in a garage around the block. Constantine walks besides you once you reach the sidewalk and keeps a respectable distance between you. As is normal for him, he’s quiet, his eyes watching the street.

“So,” you break the silence, a little courage creeping into you. “Are we going to talk about that kiss in there?” You watch his face for a reaction, but all you get is a small clench of his jaw and his eyes squinting just a hair.

“No,” he answers curtly. It wasn’t anything less than you expected so you simply nod. You wait another minute or so, until you’re inside the parking garage before asking your next question.

“Are you going to do it again?” You watch as his lips press together tightly, something he does when he’s holding something back. For a moment you think maybe he’s not going to answer. Then, with his eyes still purposely looking away from you, he lets the smile come through.

“Maybe,” he says plainly.

You chuckle at him as you both start to climb into the car. You don’t need any further conversation than that for the moment, but you do spend the car ride wondering if you can convince him to continue to play lovers when checking into your motel room for the night. For authenticity, obviously.

#constantine imagine #thranduilsperkybutt #megs11kchallenge #john constantine #constantine x reader

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oceanmotioned · 4 years

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Harry Potter Games

About The Games

With current events being what they are, we are all in need of some serious distraction. In the interest of something to do, I’ve come up with some weekly headcanon challenges that people can participate in as actively or casually as they please.

The dates themselves are more like guidelines than rules - this is not meant to add pressure or stress to anyone’s day but provide a fun exercise to keep the dash busy and alive throughout the course of a tough time.

There are no rules to how many challenges you need to complete per week and nothing stopping you from completing week one during week four or, if you’re just not feeling a week’s theme, doing another week entirely. It’s all up to you to have fun at your pace!

Please reblog this challenge so that others can see it and participate in it, or link to it somewhere in your headcanon. The more this spreads ( especially in smaller communities ) the more activity it will hopefully inspire!

Due to how --- unintentionally long this turned out to be, I am using a read more to spare everyone a mile long adventure!

Week 1

[ April 07 - April 18 ]

This week will be longer than the others in order to compensate for time spent spreading this around and for the fact the idea didn’t come to me on a Sunday. The theme for this week is origins & first experiences.

April 07 - What was your character’s first sign of magic according to their parents? What’s the first act of magic they personally remember - is it the same one, or was there another signal or outburst that stands out to them?

April 08 - When they first received their school letter, what excited them most about the shopping list? The prospect of a wand or cauldron? The books or maybe new clothes? Why was this the thing that leaped out as the most exciting? ( Leave pets for tomorrow! )

April 09 - Upon starting school students may bring if they wish a cat, rat, owl or toad. What did your character most want as their school pet? Were they able to get what they wanted or did they have to compromise? If they compromised, did they get what they wanted at another time? If they got exactly what they wanted, did it work out the way that they hoped? Feel free to share some pet anecdotes and shenanigans while you’re at it!

April 10 - Sorting time! Did your character have any expectation on them for what house they should be in? Family legacies or personal preferences? Did those pressures influence your character’s ceremony in any way? Or did they go in blind and hope for the best?

April 11 - First ghostly encounter! Was your character prepared - did they know ghosts were real, had they ever met one before? Did they have particular expectations about ghosts? How were they met or disproved?

April 12 - Upon receiving their time table, what class most excited your character? Did they feel the same after attending it for the first time? Did any classes take them by surprise - either to seem more or less interesting than expected?

April 13 - First Quidditch match of the season! Did your character attend? Who did they root for - were they familiar with Quidditch at all or was it a whole new experience? What were their thoughts after watching a live match? Did they have aspirations to play themselves? What position did they like most?

April 14 - Your character has gone through their very first magical midterm and gotten their results. Do these scores reflect the trajectory they take through to their O.W.L.’s or did they fare better / worse in certain subjects and consequently decline / improve over time? Did they have a lot of pressure from home or was their expectations set entirely by their own metric? [ Don’t worry about O.W.L.’s and N.E.W.T.’s - they’re coming. ]

April 15 - First magical creature encounters! Share the most memorable encounters your character had with magical creatures during their educational period. Be it by taking a COMC course, having creatures introduced in other classes ( I, personally, would count a mandrake as a creature feature ) or something unprecedented and unique to your character’s school experience!

April 16 - It’s time for O.W.L.’s - and by this point, your character likely has a firm idea of where they are strong and where they are struggling when it comes to course work. Career counseling directly references what scores are needed in various subjects for particular paths upon graduation - how did this affect changes to your character’s focus in classes? Did grades raise in areas where they had been left to float, were they on the right track, did they have to challenge themselves? In the end, what did all their efforts achieve? What were your character’s O.W.L. scores?

April 17 & 18 - First school dance! This is a worldbuilding opportunity as well as a headcanon one, so feel free to ignore it or go as big as you like by making a post detailing your character’s school’s take on dances and another detailing your character’s own first dance. Alternatively, just a post answering the questions is great too! In the event that school dances are an annual thing for older students, had your character been looking forward to theirs or done any planning? Were they excited, nervous or indifferent about the prospect of a party? Did they know who they wanted to go with - and were they able to go with that person? Specifically for those who attended the Yule Ball, how excited was your character? Did they order a special outfit, or were they already prepared with their dress robes? Were they happy to attend or did they try to beg out of it? Alternatively, Did your character know of dances being traditional events in other institutions? Did they like the fact their school experience didn’t include them? When was your character’s first experience with a big party event as a result of not having one at school? Did your character ever have a liking for parties? How did they discover that inclination or disinterest?

Worldbuilding Notes!

Although canonly we only hear of one ball, school dances are something of a teenage right of passage in certain cultures, so it is entirely possible that there’s one every year for the older students attending certain schools. Hogwarts is in Scotland, so it is entirely possible that a school formal would be held in June for the elder classes which would be in keeping with their Muggle counterparts who host one for the S6 students ( Ages 17 - 18 ) Ilvermorny is in America, which means they may have en entire formal season between April - June and they may host dances for 15 - 16 and another for 17 - 18, or simply for the latter crowd. American traditions make end of year socials more like debutante balls, so it would be safe to assume Ilvermorny goes out with a bang every year and that it is a very exciting or stressful time for those who have seen it coming for years and now it’s here. Contrary to both of these however, is Beauxbatons. France doesn’t celebrate prom and has more of a focus on the Baccalauréat, a final exam that marks the end of one’s high school career. It has significantly more value in French society than American SAT’s have across the pond, so it is likely Beauxbatons keeps with that tradition and focuses more on a magical equivalent of that. Then again, it is a magical school with a giantess for a Headmistress so who knows! It’s up to you to decide if your character’s school does dances, and how or when they do them. If you ultimately decide to avoid the party entirely, ( or your character is from a school unlikely to host dances ) there are questions above to cover that so please do not feel obligated to go on a party building journey!

Week 2

[ April 19 - April 25 ]

This week’s theme is seemingly insignificant details that other characters might pick up on and maybe use in threads as a way of demonstrating how well they know your character!

April 19 - Your character likely has some preferences when it comes to drinking sociably. Do they go for butterbeer, firewhiskey, gigglewater, or a muggle vintage? Alternatively, how do they take their tea and coffee?

April 20 - If someone were to have your character in mind when brewing or smelling Amortentia, what scents would most likely associate to them?

April 21 - When your character dresses in the morning, do they have any signature items that might be notable? Always a wand holster on the left side, forever finding a way to incorporate house colors into an ensemble, notoriously missing the top button on their shirt, a family ring? If there isn’t a specific thing, what about your character’s style is memorable - how would you describe what they wear? Are they always formal, buttoned up and prim, or do they prefer a casual, even rumpled look? If someone were to see a Certain Profile on the street to immediately think of your muse, what would the profile be?

April 22 - Does your character have tattoos? Are they magical or muggle? The stillness of a muggle tattoo would be notable in a magical world! Are they a mix of both - a seemingly still tattoo that appears as one thing to certain people, and another to those who bear a similar signature? Body art world building - @ me directly because I would love to see it!

April 23 - What are your character’s top three most used / signature spells? These should be the spells your character has on default setting - they don’t think about them anymore, it’s all but conditioned response now. If someone thought about your character and how they cast spells, how would they detail those default spells? Are they cast lazily? Distractedly? In perfect form? With no form, yet perfect results due to consistent use?

April 24 - When it comes to being magical, there is always something that stands out above the rest. If someone were to think of your character, what would be the first magical element they would think of? Transfiguration, Flying, or Charms? Potions or Herbology? Is your character famed for that element or just known to be good at it within their private circle? Why is that their area of expertise and association?

April 25 - Now for some abstract thinking. If a character’s happiest memory involved your muse, and your muse directly influenced what that character’s patronus would be --- what is their patronus and why? What about that animal reflects your character? This can be as symbolic or abstract as you like, but if you’re struggling to think of animals and how they might correlate to your character’s personality or how someone might perceive your character’s personality, here are some resources that might help with the creative flow! A good idea is to look at multiple sources for the animal that jumps out at you, and build off that as one culture may look at that same animal very differently. Animals in Celtic Mythology | Native American Symbolism | Animals In Art

Week 3

[ April 26 - May 02 ]

For this week, lets explore the psychological profile of your character by digging into all the things that really make them tick. Going forward, questions are going to be a little less detail oriented and more open ended!

April 26 - What is your character’s boggart and why?

April 27 - What is your character’s stances on blood purity? Think about your character’s own blood status and upbringing, and how those factors would impact their worldview.

April 28 - What is your character’s stance on the fact wizards have determined what species can be counted as intelligent? What are their stances on werewolf rights, vampire rights, or the rights of other creatures deemed to be intelligent?

April 29 - How would your character cope in the world if they were not able to use magic?

April 30 - If a dementor were nearby or feeding on them, what are the three memories that would cause the most significant damage?

May 01 - Your character has been threatened with Veritaserum. What three things do they most fear revealing?

May 02 - They are standing before the Mirror of Erised. What do they see?

Week 4

[ May 03 - May 09 ]

Jumping into lighter topics, for this week we’re going to look at happy memories to remind ourselves that no matter what hell canon ( or lets face it, we writers! ) has put our character through, they have had good times too!

May 03 - What memory would they use to cast a patronus, if they were capable of one?

May 04 - Describe a time when your character was feeling down, and someone lifted them up - what did they do and why did it work?

May 05 - Talk about the best prank they ever took part in, or remember observing.

May 06 - What is your character’s happiest memory involving a magical creature? Or an owl, or their pet - or someone else’s pet!

May 07 - Describe your character’s happiest memory involving flying - it doesn’t have to be on brooms, or related to Quidditch, or even of them flying. Just the best memory that in some way, involves flight.

May 08 - Their happiest memory involving the news - be it delight at a ridiculous headline, vindication in a particular result or even just excitement for someone else’s success.

May 09 - If someone else were to think of your character at their happiest, how old was your character and why was that time so joyful?

Week 5

[ May 10 - May 16 ]

Bouncing off our happy memory high, characters who may be more withdrawn, depressed, grumpy or just plain unsociable might be feeling confident enough to give us a look into their accomplishments, goals, and insecurities - so let’s dig in while they’re still malleable!

May 10 - What would your character claim as their greatest accomplishment in the magical world? Would others agree, or say something different?

May 11 - What is one thing they would change about wizarding society if they could? Are they taking any active measures to bring this change about themselves? Why is it important to them?

May 12 - Do they have any idols or heroes that they look up to and aspire to be like? Do they wish to emulate their house traits in their efforts to be their best selves? What does their best self look like to them?

May 13 - What is their biggest obstacle in achieving their goals?

May 14 - Everyone has weaker subjects - does your character experience ridicule for their struggles, internally or externally? What areas do they struggle most in? Wand work or theory? Incantations or brewing?

May 15 - If your character were to invent a potion or spell, what need would it fill either for themselves, a friend, or the community as a whole? Why would that be their choice? Are they capable of it or working on it, or is it just a pipe dream?

May 16 - Detail a time your character was undermined and how that impacted them. Do they no longer try, or do they just try harder?

Week 6

[ May 17 - May 23 ]

For this week, we’re going to take a look at the relationships that impacted and molded our character into who they are today!

May 17 - Discuss someone who changed, influenced, or significantly impacted your character’s view on blood purity.

May 18 - If your character could use a time turner to go back and say something different to someone, who would they go back to talk to and what moment would they be correcting?

May 19 - Does your character have a rival? Who are they, and what caused the tension?

May 20 - Who comes to mind first when your character is asked who is most important to them? Why does that person stand out so much?

May 21 - Discuss the mentors that challenged your character the most, the people they feel took the most interest in building them up, and how they feel about those people now versus how they felt of them then.

May 22 - If your character was told they could walk through the Veil at the Ministry and bring someone back from the dead, who would they restore and why?

May 23 - Who are the people they most want to impress in life?

Week 7

[ May 24 - May 31 ]

An extra day to finish out the month and end the games with a bang! This week’s theme is wishes and dreams, which is an opportunity for muns to stick bait on a hook and fling it onto the dash for some more fun interactions!

May 24 - A character you would most like to have yours interact with, and three ideas for start up interactions.

May 25 - If your character was trapped and forced to work with (1) other person in order to get out, who do you think would be the most challenging and entertaining for your character to be stuck with?

May 26 - Earlier on we discussed school dances - who would your character spend the most time with / want to go with? Or for adults / the more politically inclined, we discussed something your character would like to change in wizarding society - who would they recruit to the cause?

May 27 - Due to a series of unfortunate events, your character is now the caretaker of a magical creature. Who do they rope in to help them care for it?

May 28 - 3 to 5 obscure / rare characters you would like to see and maybe a bit on why you think they would be interesting - a little blurb that might inspire another to pick them up!

May 29 - 3 to 5 songs that you would love to build a thread around in some way, be it inspired by the vibes or the lyrics.

May 30 - Make a list of 5 - 10 sentences guaranteed to get a visceral response from your character and invite your followers to send them in.

May 31 - Tag 5 people --- I’m kidding. Take today off for self care, or post how your character self cares and pat yourself on the back for even reading this far! And absolutely treat yourself if you did even one of these <3 I hope this was at least a little fun for folks!

#harry potter rp #harry potter roleplay #hp rp #hp roleplay #harry potter #writing prompts

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animesshadow · 6 years

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Natza Week - Day 2: Wisdom

“I am starting to regret splitting up our team right about now”

An irritated red-haired knight stated as she was hiding in a dungeon-like tomb while observing her surroundings. Next to her was a man with pink spiky hairs and a scarf around his neck. Contrary to his teammate, however, he didn’t seem to be the slightest bit concerned about the sheer mass of dark mages in their vicinity that were actively searching for them.

“Don’t say that Erza. It’s a rare time for us to spend some quality time clobbering bad guys. Just the two of us.”

Natsu commented seemingly excited about their situation. The desire to just go out there and smack his foes together with Erza was basically written on his forehead.

“You always surprise me with your overly optimistic way of thinking in situations like this.”

Erza sighed but she couldn’t hide a small smile on her face when she got reminded of Natsu’s simpleminded, yet adorable positivity and excitement even in situations like this once again.

“But still, if you had not ignored our plan and just charged in like that, we wouldn’t be in this situation”

She was obviously troubled by the thought of having to yet again explain why they failed a mission for the most laughable reasons.

“You always worry too much Erza. All we have to do now is beat those dark mages and get the artifact that they stole. Easy peasy.”

Typical Natsu plan right there. If it wasn’t for the fact that they are trying to avoid getting their attention, Erza would have probably chopped his head by now.

Erza just pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed loudly.

“There are too many Natsu. They know this place better than we do. We couldn’t possibly avoid at least some of them running off, alert everyone and run away with the one artifact that we are trying to secure”

The situation seemed dire. Even the experienced S-rank knight could not come up with a quick plan that allowed them to bypass the dark mages without them getting alerted first. Natsu seemed to think for a few seconds and then just smiled over at Erza

“Most of the time you are the one to take action and usually your last minute plans make sure we win the fight. But this one time, just follow my lead okay?”

Natsu confidently suggested. Erza was still skeptical though. What could Natsu come up with that she hadn’t thought of? But they had to do something now, no matter what. They couldn’t hide here much longer. Those mages would find them eventually anyway. To be honest, Natsu wasn’t the most tactical fighters in the team. His general strategy was always to overpower his opponent and grow stronger on the battlefield itself. Perfecting that could, however, be considered a wisdom in itself.

“Alright, fine, but if we end up failing to get the artifact and fail this mission, you will have to explain everything to everyone.”

“Sure will!”

There was still no trace of a plan to be seen though.

“And I will personally punish you for your reckless actions.”

The emotionless, low-pitched voice and cold glare she threw upon Natsu made him instantly shiver in fear and crush his confidence for a second. He knew oh so well how Erza punishes him when he does something stupid. No matter how close the relationship grew in the past few years, that fear has never even faded the tiniest little bit. It was that attitude that kept him in check when he needed it most of the time though. But that also made Natsu trust Erza so much. She would always be honest and punish him when he was acting thoughtless but that also meant that she would openly compliment and reward him when he was doing good. She was wise enough to always see through his actions and judge them accordingly. Natsu could always trust Erza to be honest with him, no matter what. Even with her armor on, the cold iron wall that he felt between her and the rest of the world was nonexistent anymore. Just the pure Erza, no facade or anything like that. Around him at least. From outside it may look like an abusive relationship but it was the bond of true trust and companionship that allowed them to be so free around each other. Erza always showed Natsu how she truly felt about him, whether it be anger, pride, or love. A bond those two could not share with anyone else, even in Fairy Tail. Not to that extent. It had already grown beyond that.

Natsu took a deep breath to calm his fears and put on a toothy smile again.

“Fine, as long as you kiss the pain away afterward. But don’t worry! This plan if fool-proof. Just follow my lead this time”

“Wha-... Okay fine. Just tell me what you have planned”

A small blush formed on Erza’s cheeks because of Natsu’s unusually bold first sentence. She just cast those thoughts aside for now and got ready to take action.

“This is a dungeon, right? In other words, we are underground”

“Yeah, so?”

Erza could still not understand what Natsu had in mind.

“You will see soon enough. Let’s just finish them quick. I don’t want the Ice-Princess to finish his part faster than we do”

The fact that he still thought about beating Gray should not be a surprise but Erza was truly fascinated by how Natsu just always wanted to beat him at everything. He sure had some silly ambitions. Seeing Natsu as his usual self even when they assumingly about to fail the mission was one of the traits of Natsu Erza loved about him.

“Ok! Let’s do this!”

With that said, Natsu dashed out of their hiding spot with a tremendous battle cry that was amplified by the echoes in this dungeon.

“Fire Dragon’s Roar!”

A massive fireball lit up the entire place. However, Natsu didn’t aim it towards the dark mages but shot it on the roof above them instead. Neither the dark mages nor Erza had any idea what was happening but Natsu continued to shoot fireballs at certain places on the ceiling.

Soon after, those places crumbled and began to crash as the damaged ceiling gave in to gravity. Massive rocks and boulders fell down and formed massive walls of rocks.

Now Erza got what Natsu had in mind. She immediately requiped into the Heaven’s Wheel armor and shot a large number of swords into the ceiling. Every place that got hit by swords or fire crashed down and formed a new wall.

“Now those punks can’t run away and take the precious artifact away!”

Natsu exclaimed loudly, followed by a confident laugh, certain of his victory.

Every pathway way now blocked by boulders. There was nowhere for the enemy to run. A confined battle arena with no escape.

“It was unwise of you to make us your enemies. We will kick your butts in now. I’m all fired up!”

Erza simply nodded in agreement. Both of them, standing back to back now, dashed in opposing directions. Natsu and Erza were far beyond the capability of these dark mages. Each of them getting brutally taken out by firefists or steel weapons. Pretty sure that’s the moment they all regretted their life decisions.

A short while later, all the rogue mages were laying on the floor unconscious. If it comes to magical power, those mages were no match for Erza-Natsu-Duo. Those two were far beyond their league.

“Ahaha see, it worked perfectly”

Natsu put his hands, puffed out his chest and celebrated loudly. With each laugh, small sparks mockingly flew out of his mouth.

“Honestly, I didn’t expect you to come up with a plan like this, Natsu”

“You may be experienced in the art of battle. However, young Scarlet, when it comes to the Wisdom of Recklessness, you have still a lot to learn. Keep this lesson in mind”

The great and wise Natsu placed his fist on his palm and made an exaggerated bow, imitating that of a true master.

“They tell me, oh wise Natsu-dono~”

“?”

There was something off about Erza’s strangely cheerful voice. It made Natsu feel chills down his spine. A knot formed in his throat that forced him to swallow in anxiety.

“How do you suggest we leave and find the artifact now after you blocked every path?~”

“?!”

... He didn’t think about that.

A dangerous smile indeed. Combined with the shadow cast over Erza’s eyes, Natsu could feel all of his previous pride and wisdom fade in an instant. Right about now, Natsu missed the beautiful and heartwarming smile she usually had when they were together. Her stern but loving attitude or even the possessive yet protective hug she always gave him when other girls tried to approach him was a more preferable choice.

“Ehh, you know... I didn’t think that far ahead...”

A nervous smile masked the fear of the storm that was headed his way.

“A dragon once said ‘A wise man never knows all, only fools know everything’ “

A desperate try to avoid the unavoidable. He messed up.

“Shut up!”

She shouted angrily and chopped the top of his head with an armored hand. Natsu was on his knees, holding his head in pain.

Shortly after, however, Erza reached out her hand to Natsu. Her previous angry attitude seemed to have faded.

Erza sure did notice Natsu’s genuine try to come up with a good plan this time. He may not be the wisest, but he doesn’t need to be. Just being that adorable little dragon that would fight any opponent that threatened his family was enough for her. Still, Natsu giving his best not be completely simple-minded and trying to improve himself for her sake didn’t go unnoticed. She was eternally grateful to have such a precious partner by her side. A partner, she couldn’t imagine out of her life anymore. A dragon that she would keep close to herself forever.

“It wasn’t the smartest plan you came up with, but I guess it did prevent them from getting away with the artifact. Now get up my dragon of wisdom”

A bit taunting but still mostly appreciating her cute little dragon.

“Once we clear this barricade of rubble and get what we came for, I will get a delicious cake. Your treat.”

Natsu’s eyes were sparkling again. His usual enthusiasm and excitement back to where it should be. He took her hand that she offered to help him back up on his feet. It may have been only a few seconds but Natsu did notice that she requipped the cold gauntlets away before she reached out to him. Even as a fire mage, the heat of holding her hand was not comparable to any fire he was able to create. He wanted to hold it forever and never let go. But for now, it was enough to be able to finish this simple mission with her.

#natza #natza week #natsu x erza #day 2 #wisdom #erza scarlet #natsu dragneel

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gp-synergism-blog · 6 years

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Gothic Film in the ‘40s: Doomed Romance and Murderous Melodrama

Posted by: Samm Deighan for Diabolique Magazine

Secret Beyond the Door (1947)

In many respects, the ‘40s were a strange time for horror films. With a few notable exceptions, like Le main du diable (1943) or Dead of Night (1945), the British and European nations avoided the genre thanks to the preoccupation of war. But that wasn’t the case with American cinema, which continued to churn out cheap, escapist fare in droves, ranging from comedies and musicals to horror films. In general though, genre efforts were comic or overtly campy; Universal, the country’s biggest producer of horror films, resorted primarily to sequels, remakes, and monster mash ups during the decade, or ludicrous low budget films centered on half-cocked mad scientists (roles often hoisted on a fading Bela Lugosi).

There are some exceptions: the emergence of grim-toned serial killer thrillers helmed by European emigres like Hitchcock’s Shadow of a Doubt (1943), Ulmer’s Bluebeard(1944), Siodmak’s The Spiral Staircase (1945), or John Brahm’s Hangover Square(1945); the series of expressionistic moody horror film produced by auteur Val Lewton, such as Cat People (1942) and I Walked with a Zombie (1943); and a handful of strange outliers like the eerie She-Wolf of London (1946) or the totally off-the-rails Peter Lorre vehicle, The Beast with Five Fingers (1946).

Thanks to the emergence of film noir and a new emphasis on psychological themes within suspense films, horror’s sibling — arguably even its precursor — the Gothic, was also a prominent cinematic force during the decade. One of the biggest producers of Gothic cinema came from the literary genre’s parent country, England. Initially this was a way to present some horror tropes and darker subject matter at a time when genre films were embargoed by a country at war, but Hollywood was undoubtedly attempting to compete with Britain’s strong trend of Gothic cinema: classic films like Thorold Dickinson’s original Gaslight (1940); a series of brooding Gothic romances starring a homicidal-looking James Mason, like The Night Has Eyes (1942), The Man in Grey(1943), The Seventh Veil (1945), and Fanny by Gaslight (1944); David Lean’s two best films and possibly the greatest Dickens adaptations ever made, Great Expectations(1946) and Oliver Twist (1948); and other excellent, yet forgotten literary adaptations like Uncle Silas (1947) and Queen of Spades (1949).

The American films, which not only responded to their British counterparts but helped shape the Gothic genre in their own right, tended towards three themes in particular (often combining them): doomed romance, dark family inheritances often connected to greed and madness, and the supernatural melodrama. Certainly, these film borrowed horror tropes, like the fear of the dark, nightmares, haunted houses, thick cobwebs, and fog-drenched cemeteries. The home was often set as the central location, a site of both domesticity and terror — speaking to the genre’s overall themes of social order, repressed sexuality, and death — and this location was of course of equal importance to horror films and the “woman’s film” of the ‘40s and ‘50s. Like the latter, these Gothic films often featured female protagonists and plots that revolved around a troubled romantic relationship or domestic turmoil.

Wuthering Heights (1939)

Two of the earliest examples, and certainly two films that kicked off the wave of Gothic romance films in America, are also two of the genre’s most enduring classics: William Wyler’s Wuthering Heights (1939) and Hitchcock’s Rebecca (1940). Based on Emily Brontë’s novel of the same name (one of my favorites), Wyler and celebrated screenwriter Ben Hecht (with script input from director and writer John Huston) transformed Wuthering Heights from a tale of multigenerational doom and bitterness set on the unforgiving moors into a more streamlined romantic tragedy about the love affair between Cathy (Merle Oberon) and Heathcliffe (Laurence Olivier) that completely removes the conclusion that focuses on their children. In the film, the couple are effectively separated by social constraints, poverty, a harsh upbringing, and the fact that Cathy is forced to choose between her wild, adopted brother Heathcliffe and her debonair neighbor, Edgar Linton (David Niven).

Wuthering Heights is actually less Gothic than the films it inspired, primarily because of the fact that Hollywood neutered many of Brontë’s themes. In The History of British Literature on Film, 1895-2015, Greg Semenza and Bob Hasenfratz wrote, “Hecht and Wyler together manage to transfer the narrative from its original literary genre (Gothic romance) and embed it in a film genre (the Hollywood romance, which would evolve into the so-called ‘women’s films’ of the 1940s)… [To accomplish this,] Hecht and Wyler needed to remove or tone down elements of the macabre, the novel’s suggestions of necrophilia in chapter 29, and its portrayal of Heathcliffe as a kind of Miltonic Satan” (185).

This results in sort of watered down versions of Cathy — who is selfish and cruel as a general rule in the novel — and, in particular, Heathcliffe, whose brutish behavior includes physical violence, spousal abuse, and a drawn out, well-plotted revenge that becomes his sole reason for living. It is thus in a somewhat different — and arguably both more terrifying and more romantic — context that the novel’s Heathcliffe declares to a dying Cathy, “Catherine Earnshaw, may you not rest as long as I am living. You said I killed you–haunt me then. The murdered do haunt their murderers. I believe–I know that ghosts have wandered the earth. Be with me always–take any form–drive me mad. Only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you! Oh, God! It is unutterable! I cannot live without my life! I cannot live without my soul!” (145).

Despite Hollywood’s intervention, the novel’s Gothic flavor was not scrubbed entirely and Wuthering Heights still includes themes of ghosts, haunting, and just the faintest touch of damnation, though it ends with a spectral reunion for Cathy and Heathcliffe, whose spirits set off together across the snow-covered moors. These elements of a studio meddling with a film’s source novel, doomed romance, and supernatural tones also appeared in the following year’s Rebecca, possibly the single most influential Gothic film from the period. This was actually Hitchcock’s first film on American shores after his emigration due to WWII, and his first major battle with a producer in the form of David O. Selznick.

Rebecca (1940)

Based on Daphne du Maurier’s novel of the same name, Rebecca marks the return of Laurence Olivier as brooding romantic hero Maxim de Winter, the love interest of an innocent young woman (Joan Fontaine) traveling through Europe as a paid companion. She and de Winter meet, fall in love, and are quickly married, though things take a dark turn when they move to his ancestral home in England, Manderlay, which is everywhere marked with the overwhelming presence of his former wife, Rebecca. The hostile housekeeper (Judith Anderson) is still obviously obsessed with her former mistress, Maxim begins to act strangely and has a few violent outbursts, and the new Mrs. de Winter begins to suspect that Rebecca’s death was the result of a homicidal act…

The wanton or mad wife was a feature not only of Rebecca, but of earlier Gothic fiction from Wuthering Heights and Jane Eyre to “The Yellow Wallpaper.” In the same way that Cathy of Wuthering Heights is an example of the feminine resistance to a claustrophobic social structure, Rebecca is a similar figure, made monstrous by her refusal to conform. The dark secret that Maxim’s new wife learns is that Rebecca was privately promiscuous, agreeing only to appear to be the perfect wife in public after de Winter already married her. She pretends she is pregnant with another man’s child and tries to goad her husband into murdering her, seemingly out of sheer spite, but it is revealed that she was dying of cancer.

A surprisingly faithful adaptation of the novel, Rebecca presents the titular character’s death as a suicide, rather than a murder, thanks to the Production Code’s insistence that murderers had to be punished, contrary to the film’s apparent happy ending, and restricted the (now somewhat obvious) housekeeper’s lesbian infatuation for Rebecca. Despite these restrictions, Hitchcock managed to introduce some of the bold, controversial themes that would carry him through films like Marnie (1964). For Criterion, Robin Wood wrote, “it is in Rebecca that his unifying theme receives its first definitive statement: the masculinist drive to dominate, control, and (if necessary) punish women; the corresponding dread of powerful women, and especially of women who assert their sexual freedom, for what, above all, the male (in his position of dominant vulnerability, or vulnerable dominance) cannot tolerate is the sense that another male might be “better” than he was. Rebecca is killed because she defies the patriarchal order, the prohibition of infidelity.”

Wood also got to the crux of many of these early Gothic films (and the Romantic/romantic novels that inspired them) when he wrote, “The antagonism toward Maxim we feel today (in the aftermath of the Women’s Movement) is due at least in part to the casting of Olivier; without that antagonism something of the film’s continuing force and fascination would be weakened.” Heathcliffe and de Winter are similarly contradictory figures: romantic, but also repulsive, objects of love and fear in equal measures, they mirror the character type popularized in England by a young, brooding James Mason — an antagonistic, almost villainous (and sometimes actually so) male romantic lead — that would appear in a number of other titles throughout the decade.

Rebecca (1940)

In “‘At Last I Can Tell It to Someone!’: Feminine Point of View and Subjectivity in the Gothic Romance Film of the 1940s” for Cinema Journal, Diane Waldman wrote, “The plots of films like Rebecca, Suspicion, Gaslight, and their lesser-known counterparts like Undercurrent and Sleep My Love fall under the rubric of the Gothic designation: a young inexperienced woman meets a handsome older man to whom she is alternately attracted and repelled. After a whirlwind courtship (72 hours in Lang’s Secret Beyond the Door, two weeks is more typical), she marries him. After returning to the ancestral mansion of one of the pair, the heroine experiences a series of bizarre and uncanny incidents, open to ambiguous interpretation, revolving around the question of whether or not the Gothic male really loves her. She begins to suspect that he may be a murderer” (29-30).

As Waldman suggests, there are many films from the decade that fit into this type: notable examples include Hitchcock’s Suspicion (1941), where Joan Fontaine again stars as an innocent, wealthy young woman who marries an unscrupulous gambler (Cary Grant) who may be trying to kill her for her fortune; Robert Stevenson’s Jane Eyre (1943) yet again starred Fontaine as the innocent titular governess, who falls in love with her gloomy, yet charismatic employer, Mr. Rochester (Orson Welles); George Cukor’s remake of Gaslight (1944) starred Ingrid Bergman as a young singer driven slowly insane by her seemingly charming husband (Charles Boyer), who is only out to conceal a past crime; and so on.

Another interesting, somewhat unusual interpretations of this subgenre is Experiment Perilous (1944), helmed by a director also responsible for key film noir and horror titles such as Out of the Past, Cat People, and Curse of the Demon: Jacques Tourneur. Based on a novel by Margaret Carpenter and set in turn of the century New York, Experiment Perilous is a cross between Gothic melodrama and film noir and expands upon the loose plot of Gaslight, where a controlling husband (here played by Paul Lukas) is trying to drive his younger wife (the gorgeous Hedy Lamarr) insane. The film bucks the Gothic tradition of the ‘40s in the sense that the wife, Allida, is not the protagonist, but rather it is a psychiatrist, Dr. Bailey (George Brent). He encounters the couple because he befriended the husband’s sister (Olive Blakeney) on a train and when she passes away, he goes to pay his respects. While there, he he falls in love with Allida and refuses to believe her husband’s assertions that she is insane and must be kept prisoner in their home.

In some ways evocative of Hitchcock (a fateful train ride, a psychiatrist who falls in love with a patient and refuses to believe he or she is insane), Experiment Perilous is a neglected, curious film, and it’s interesting to imagine what it would have been if Cary Grant starred, as intended. It does mimic the elements of female paranoia found in films like Rebecca and Gaslight, in the sense that Allida believes she has a mysterious admirer and, as with the later Secret Beyond the Door, she’s tormented by the presence of a disturbed child; though Lamarr never plays to the level of hysteria usually found in this type of role and her performance is both understated and underrated.

Experiment Perilous (1944)

Tourneur was an expert at playing with moral ambiguities, a quality certainly expressed in Experiment Perilous, and the decision to follow the psychiatrist, rather than the wife, makes this a compelling mystery. Like Laura, The Woman in the Window, Vertigo, and other films, the mesmerizing portrait of a beautiful woman is responsible for the protagonist becoming morally compromised, and for most of the running time it’s not quite clear if Bailey is acting from a rational, medical premise, or a wholly irrational one motivated by sexual desire. Rife with strange diary entries, disturbing letters, stories of madness, death, and psychological decay, and a torrid family history are at the heart of the delightfully titled Experiment Perilous. Like many films in the genre, it concludes with a spectacular sequence where the house itself is in a state of chaos, the most striking symbol of which is a series of exploding fish tanks.

But arguably the most Gothic of all these films — and certainly my favorite — is Fritz Lang’s The Secret Beyond the Door (1947). On an adventure in Mexico, Celia (Joan Bennett), a young heiress, meets Mark Lamphere (Michael Redgrave), a dashing architect. They have a whirlwind romance before marrying, but on their honeymoon, Mark is frustrated by Celia’s locked bedroom door and takes off in the middle of the night, allegedly for business. Things worsen when they move to his mansion in New England, where she is horrified to learn that she is his second wife, his first died mysteriously, and he has a very strange family, including an odd secretary who covers her face with a scarf after it was disfigured in a fire; he also has serious financial problems. During a welcoming party, Mark shows their friends his hobby, personally designed rooms in the house that mimic the settings of famous murders. Repulsed, Celia also learns that there is one locked room that Mark keeps secret. As his behavior becomes increasingly cold and disturbed she comes to fear that he killed the first Mrs. Lamphere and is planning to kill her, too.

A blend of “Bluebeard,” Rebecca, and Jane Eyre, Secret Beyond the Door is quite an odd film. Though it relies on some frustrating Freudian plot devices and has a number of script issues, there is something truly magical and eerie about it and it deserves as far more elevated reputation. Though this falls in with the “woman’s films” popular at the time, Bennett’s Celia is far removed from the sort of innocent, earnest, and vulnerable characters played by Fontaine. Lang, and his one-time protege, screenwriter Silvia Richards, acknowledge that she has flaws of her own, as well as the strength, perseverance, and sheer sexual desire to pursue Mark, despite his potential psychosis.

This was Joan Bennett’s fourth film with Fritz Lang – after titles like Man Hunt (1941), The Woman in the Window (1944), and Scarlet Street (1945) — and it was to be her last with the director. While her earlier characters were prostitutes, gold diggers, or arch-manipulators, Celia is more complex; she is essentially a spoiled heiress and socialite bored with her life of pleasure and looking to settle down, but used to getting her own way and not conforming to the needs of any particular man. (Gloria Grahame would go on to play slightly similar characters for Lang in films like The Big Heat and Human Desire.) In one of Celia’s introductory scenes, she’s witness to a deadly knife fight in a Mexican market. Instead of running in terror, she is clearly invigorated, if not openly aroused by the scene, despite the fact that a stray knife lands mere inches from her.

Secret Beyond the Door (1947)

Like some of Lang’s other films with Bennett, much of this film is spent in or near beds and the bedroom. The hidden bedroom also provides a rich symbolic subtext, one tied in to Mark’s murder-themed rooms, the titular secret room (where his first wife died), and the burning of the house at the film’s conclusion. Due to the involvement of the Production Code, sex is only implied, but modern audiences may miss this. It is at least relatively clear that Mark and Celia’s powerful attraction is a blend of sex and violence, affection and neurosis. As with Rebecca and Jane Eyre, it is implied that the fire — the act of burning down the house and the memory of the former love (or in Jane Eyre’scase, the actual woman) — has cleansing properties that restore Mark to sanity. It is revealed that though he did not commit an actual murder, the guilt of his first wife’s death, brought on by a broken heart, has driven him to madness and obsession.

This really is a marvelous film, thanks Lang’s return to German expressionism blended with Gothic literary themes. There is some absolutely lovely cinematography from Stanley Cortez that prefigured his similar work on Charles Laughton’s The Night of the Hunter. In particular, a woodland set – where Celia runs when she thinks Mark is going to murder her – is breathtaking, eerie, and nightmarish, and puts a marked emphasis on the fairy-tale influence. But the house is where the film really shines with lighting sources often reduced to candlelight, reflections in ornate mirrors, or the beam of a single flashlight. The camera absolutely worships Bennett, who is framed by long, dark hallways, foreboding corridors, and that staple of film noir, the winding staircase.

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crazy-noonoohead · 7 years

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My top 10 shows I saw in 2017.

This is in no particular order, and to prove that, I’m sticking one of the best in the middle and saving one for last. I’m mostly focusing on shows I saw for the first time in 2017, but I’m making two exceptions (four if you count Broadway transfers that I saw in previous incarnations) and you probably already know what those two are. I’m also sticking to plays and musicals as opposed to concerts, comedy performances, etc., but I’ll include a few of those in my honorable mentions. So here goes!

The Book Of Mormon with Dom Simpson as Elder Price: Let me start off by saying I adore Nic Rouleau. He’s been in various productions of BOM since its very beginning, and he still continues to get better every time I see him. And when I say this next thing, I don’t want anyone to think I’m tired of him, because that couldn’t be further from the truth. The day he leaves the show is probably the day the world ends. But since he’s been with the show for so long, he’s the Price I’ve seen the most often, by a long shot, so seeing a new take on the role was a refreshing experience that I’ll always cherish. When I met Dom at the stage door, I found out that I had seen the show more times than he had done the show. I hope he has more opportunities to go on, because he gave a wonderful performance! (Quick shout-outs to the other two times I saw it this year, especially when I went on my birthday.)

Falsettos’ closing performance: Having frequented this show consistently since the first preview (for...no particular reason), it was such a privilege to watch this cast of seven give it their all every single time. Still, that final show was probably everyone’s best performance. Andrew’s final “The Games I Play” was definitely the best I had heard him sing it, and the fact that I was sitting close enough to see the tears in his eyes was both a blessing and a curse that will haunt me for the rest of my life. Anthony powered through even though he was getting over an illness (which I would not have realized if I hadn’t already known) and had to call out earlier that weekend. Stephanie had to take moments during “I’m Breaking Down” and “Trina’s Song,” but somehow made it through “Holding To The Ground.” Brandon teared up during “A Marriage Proposal.” Everyone was emotional during the curtain call. And of course, I started crying the moment the lights went down for the first act and rarely stopped. The woman sitting next to me was a friend of William Finn’s and had lost friends during the AIDS crisis, so the show resonated with her in a way that it never will with me. I’m grateful that the production is on Broadway HD and that I can watch it whenever I want to, but it’s not the same as being there. It’s been almost a year and I still miss it a lot. What more can I say?

The Play That Goes Wrong: After seeing this in London with my mom and stepdad, we all loved it so much that we jumped on the chance to see the Broadway transfer as soon as possible. It goes wrong in all the right ways! I have now seen it three times on Broadway, and the jokes are still fresh and hilarious. Even while laughing at all the mishaps, I find myself sympathizing with these characters and admiring their determination to keep going. Sometimes it cheered me up, and other times it made an already good day even better. I hope I can go back soon to see the new cast.

The Great Comet: I went into this one knowing nothing about the plot, just that a lot of people loved it. I was also seeing it 12 days after Falsettos closed, so you can probably guess the state of mind I was in. But I loved this show! The music was like nothing I’d heard before (in a good way, obviously), the set felt intimate and elaborate at the same time, and the cast was incredibly talented AND one of the most diverse I’d ever seen, if not THE most. Somehow they made it easy for me to relate to characters living in 19th century Russia, despite living as a millennial in 21st century New York. I saw it twice, once with the original Broadway cast and once with Dave Malloy and Ingrid Michaelson, and I would have gone more if it had the long, successful run it deserved. But unfortunately, just like a comet, it lived up to its name and shone brightly for a short amount of time before disappearing. Also, the pierogies they gave out before the show were delicious. And I’m just now realizing that they missed out on an opportunity to make “Pierre-ogi” puns.

Bastard Jones: I have to admit this one grew on me. Once I found out that a former member of Toxic Audio was in the cast, I knew I was going to see it multiple times no matter what I thought, so thank goodness it was a good show! The first time I went, I enjoyed myself, and of course I loved getting to see René perform for the first time in ten years, but I wasn’t blown away. But that second time...maybe the performances got tighter. Maybe the jokes just landed better. Maybe it was because I was with the first friend I ever took to a Toxic Audio show. I’ll never know for sure. But I liked it a lot more the second time. While most of the draw for me was still seeing René in a role that is absolutely perfect for him, I ended up falling for the whole show as well. The slapstick humor, word play, and dirty jokes are completely up my alley (there’s a dirty joke somewhere in the phrase “up my alley”), and I found two songs I want to use for auditions once the sheet music becomes available. I saw this one four times during its month-long run, and the only reason I didn’t go more is that it sold out super quickly after getting rave reviews. The team is hoping that their next step is a longer run in a bigger venue, and I will definitely revisit the show when that happens, especially if René is still playing Partridge.

Sunday In The Park With George: I watched the DVD of the original production a few years ago because my friend was very nice and lent it to me, and I was so excited that I could finally see a live production. It. Was. Fantastic! Annaleigh Ashford and Jake Gyllenhaal were both wonderful and almost definitely would have received Tony nominations if the production had decided to compete. Andrew Kober, whom I’d seen in a few other things, was a swing in the show and got to go on for the first time the night I was there, which made it even more of a treat. This was a great production of an already great show, and although it was always going to be a limited run, I wish it could have lasted longer. More Sondheim on Broadway, please!

Jitney: My mom and I saw this one together, and it took a while to get going for us, but once it did, we were hooked. A super talented group of people sharing a compelling story? Yes, please! We both left the theatre pleasantly surprised, and everyone who signed at the stage door was very nice. Most of the actors didn’t have Sharpies and I got to lend them mine, which was a nice bonus. Of course, it’s always great to see BOM alumni continue to be successful, and I saw it the day after my BOM anniversary on purpose. The alumnus in this show ran over and gave me a big hug that night.

Brigadoon: This weekend-long City Center production looked ready to transfer and get an open run! Stephanie J. Block’s solo number was the stand-out for me (partially because she’s Stephanie, but her song would have been my favorite anyway), and Kelli O’Hara and Patrick Wilson were amazing as the two leads. Yes, the show has that “falling in love after knowing each other for one day” thing that annoys me about a lot of older musicals, but it still has a beautiful score and a unique premise.

The Band’s Visit: I loved this show when I saw it at the Atlantic Theatre last November, and I was very excited when I found out it was transferring to Broadway, but I also had my reservations. I was concerned that the show would lose its intimacy in a larger space. Boy, was I happy to be wrong! They picked the right theatre, as it most likely would have lost the intimacy in a bigger house, almost the entire cast is the same, and somehow the show was even better the second time. It’s a heartwarming, simple but effective story that we could all use right now. It’s not a “see over and over again” show for me, but I will definitely return to Bet Hatikva (with a B) at some point. I can’t officially endorse it for Best Musical until I see more of the new musicals this season, but if it doesn’t at least get nominated, I’m rioting.

Groundhog Day: Will I get through this paragraph without crying? Won’t I get through this paragraph without crying? Civilization once again hangs in the balance. Wow. What an unlikely love story! And contrary to those corny Hallmark movies where you figure the love story out in the first 30 seconds of the trailer, this love story was ACTUALLY unlikely. For me, at least. This was the show that got me excited about theatre again after Falsettos closed. I found something else I couldn’t stop gushing about or recommending to friends. At first most of that excitement came from the novelty of the first preview (Google the story if you don’t already know; this post is long enough already) and the awesomely professional way the team handled such a stressful situation, but as I listened to the cast recording more, it became clear that it wasn’t just that one experience that I loved. It was the whole show, and everyone involved. They took the story of a beloved, seemingly flawless movie, and in my not-even-living-in-the-same-neighborhood-as-humble opinion...dare I say it?...made it even better? I made Twitter friends because of this show. I crocheted Phil and Rita dolls and got to give them to Andy and Barrett. The closing notice hurt, and attending the final performance was one of my most bittersweet experiences, but it was worth it. This show was definitely a highlight of 2017. Six months and a day was not enough time, but I’m grateful for the time it had and I miss it every day. (For those of you wondering, I did not get through this paragraph without crying.)

Honorable mentions, also in no particular order:

Andrew Rannells’ and Stephanie J. Block’s Live From Lincoln Center concerts: An hour each, watching two of my favorite performers do solo shows that will later air on PBS was such a treat! Andrew’s set was completely full of songs I’d never heard him sing before, while Stephanie’s was a mix of new things and songs she’s known for. After hearing Stephanie sing “Some People” from Gypsy, I want her to play Rose one day. But first I want her to play Fanny Brice. Andrew is one of the only people who could make me cry by singing “Born To Run” by Bruce Springsteen (the others, of course, being the members of Toxic/Vox Audio). And he did.

Indecent: I almost made my list a top 11 so I could include it, but I insisted on having a round number. This was a powerful one-act play about making and producing God Of Vengeance, which was very controversial at the time because it was the 20th century and two women fell in love. Taking place during the Holocaust, the use of sand was very effective, and was probably both my favorite thing about it and the most difficult part to watch. It was my pick for Best Play this past season, and again, it deserved a longer run.

White Arab Problems: One of my friends from acting class wrote and performed a 45-minute comedy act about the struggles of being Arab but passing for white. In the piece, she humorously acknowledges the privileges that come with being white while also really dealing with the frustration of people thinking she’s trying to appropriate her own culture. I first met her in class in 2015 and recognized some insecurities that came across as ones I also have. Watching her grow over the years, seeing her perform this piece, and knowing she was proud of what she did made me a proud friend/classmate/scene partner, and I look forward to seeing it again whenever I can.

The Skivvies: Not much to elaborate on here, but I see as many of their concerts as I can, and it’s always a super fun time.

Prince Of Broadway: While this one was billed as a musical, it was technically a revue, which is why I didn’t put it on the official list. Watching a super talented cast of nine people perform songs and scenes from multiple Hal Prince shows definitely made for a great night! I went to the last preview, and I went again during the final week. I want Chuck Cooper to play Tevye, and I want Brandon Uranowitz to play Georg Nowack. And the Emcee. And Molina. And any other role he wants to play because he’s amazing.

So there’s my list. I’m kind of bummed that I didn’t include more plays, but hopefully next year. And with that, “ba da ba ba ba suck my balls, I’m out.”

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