#and she was like cool i like to smell manly and i was like yeah i wear men's deodorant i get you and we laughed over that

[sirpepperston]

omg at work while I was cashiering, I rang up a butch and she told me she was buying shirts and cologne bc she was having date night with her girlfriend of 3 years tonight. I'm going to scream I love lesbianism I love women being in love with each other I love butches I love that she felt comfortable telling a stranger about it in public I love that we can be GAY

[pollenallergie]

18+ only!!

do not interact if you’re under 18 years old!

I personally disagree with the headcanon that Eddie can’t cook. In fact, I think that man passed Home Ec. with flying colors in high school. Most of the Hellfire guys took shop class because they thought it was more manly or badass or whatever the fuck, but not Eddie. Eddie needed to learn to sew because Wayne sucked at it and the old lady two lots over was getting real sick of him asking her to use her frail, arthritic fingers to sew yet another goddamn patch on his vest or his backpack or whatever else he wanted to decorate with the logos of his favorite metal bands. Glenda was a sweet lady, of course, and she loved Eddie like he was her own grandson, but even her kindness had its limits. So, he took Home Ec. Plus, he kind of underestimated it and thought it would be like way easier than shop class.

Turns out it was actually insanely more difficult because while Jeff and Gareth got to spend forty-five minutes a day working on bird houses and toolboxes, Eddie had to learn how to operate a sewing machine, create a household budget, change a dirty diaper, and, oh yeah, make like three different kinds of sauce from fucking scratch. Labor intensity aside, Eddie oddly thrived in that class. I mean, he took to the sewing machine like a champ and he made a mean roux for mac and cheese. Not to mention, Miss Bowman absolutely adored him.

That was her first year teaching at Hawkins High, having just graduated college, so she was already plenty nervous. However, it got much, much worse when the, at the time, 16-year-old metalhead, who smelled like a well-used ashtray, sauntered into her class fifteen minutes late and very clearly stoned out of his mind. Imagine her surprise when that same kid expressed a genuine interest in learning how to keep track of household purchases and sharpen a kitchen knife. Unbeknownst to her, his fascination stemmed from the fact that 1) being able to keep track of financial transactions would be super beneficial for him as a rookie pot dealer and 2) the kid liked sharp, shiny things. So, in her blissful ignorance, Miss Bowman actually kind of developed a soft spot for the misfit, much like a little kid might for a scrappy alleycat.

Not to mention, due to him genuinely wanting to learn how to do some of this shit, Eddie rarely showed up to class late or less-than-sober after that first day. He even began to enjoy that class a little bit; the teacher was nice, she didn’t hate him (which was rare), and most of the kids in the class were pretty accepting of him once they realized that he was pulling a stable A-. In fact, the future head-cheerleader, Chrissy Cunningham, even directly asked him for help with her sourdough starter once; which he thought was pretty cool (and also terrifying).

A couple years down the line, his impeccable home-making skills would come in handy when he finally managed to snag the person of his dreams, you. In fact, your first date with Eddie involved him making an elaborate feast of spaghetti in doused in a delightful, homemade bolognese sauce with a side of homemade garlic bread (Eddie made the bread from scratch and everything) and some wine (that he definitely did not steal from a liquor store two towns over because Eddie would never do that), lighting some candles, turning on some soft music (one of Wayne’s old country records; the only one that Eddie figured wasn’t too twangy), and setting tiny kitchen table like it was a fancy table-for-two at some pricey restaurant in the city. It was perfect and, honestly more than you’d ever expected. When he asked you out, you expected a simple movie date or maybe going to watch some band who was not nearly as good as Corroded Coffin play at local bar together, not an amazing home-cooked meal and a night alone with a shaggy-haired, doe eyed aidoneus. It’s safe to say that the pasta wasn’t the only thing that got saucy that night, if you catch my drift. Eddie gave you a taste of his other homemade sauce, if you know what I mean.

So yeah, Eddie Munson can cook. The man is a fucking wiz in the kitchen.

[cherrywhipped]

Hunter x Hunter character scent hcs 🌬️

This is kinda for laughs but also I tried to make it reasonable, hope you enjoy♡

XX Gon: maple syrup or a chuck-e-cheese playhouse. no in between

XX Killua: some fresh expensive laundry smell 🙄 (gain fireworks beads), or sweat + campfire/burning smoke⚡️

XX Kurapika: faint pine needles & vanilla (😀??) hard to tell but whatever it is always smells the strongest right below his ear towards the back of his neck kiss

XX Leorio: hot cologne I just KNOW bro smells MMMM (more specifically maybe a mahogany teakwood type of delicious 👏)

XX Kite: my beloved. His smell is so comforting, it’s like wrapping yourself up in a blanket of honeysuckle and dewy grass.

XX Morel: yes obvi smoke but tbh… a hot whiff of that rich & refreshing incense smell that makes your head all cloudy 😵‍💫 [China rain, anyone?]

XX Knov: defeat. Probably wouldn’t have a defining smell, maybe something really light like mint

XX Knuckle: manly, gotta be like sweat and old spice deodorant 🔥

XX Shoot: absolutely nothing. It is bizarre how scentless he is

XX Palm: an unsettling dark berry candle

XX Biscuit: marshmallow fluff

XX Melody: smells like a friend. A friend that smells of citrus fruit.

XX Illumi: I bet he smells intoxicating but it’s eerie, similar to how some people like to sniff gasoline. This is so specific but y’know the heat residue smell when you flat iron your hair or iron clothes? That plus a deep forest musk or red wine note idk it smells good but gives u the creeps

XX Hisoka: I can’t imagine him not smelling like blood or at least somewhat metallic underneath. But he covers it up with some flower bomb type of perfume 💀

XX Chrollo: god he smells sexy. Sandalwood, rose water, maybe some vanilla bean or cinnamon or other deep spice in there? It’s the perfect blend of sexy musk and spicy with a little sweet on top. scent will put u on ur knees

XX Feitan: straight up smells like Hot Topic. musky & musty <3

XX Nobunaga: smells cool tbh, reminiscent of stormy weather, or how hot asphalt smells when it starts pouring rain (I rlly like that smell)

XX Machi: very clean like white tea, lemon, or lavender. You have to be super close to her to actually catch a whiff

XX Uvo: weird. Not good or bad necessarily, just the combo he has going on isn’t working with him like ginger or black pepper and salty ocean body wash

XX Shalnark: kinda basic but at least it isn’t bad, smells like clean linen tbh

XX Paku: a refined, strong scent. Amber or black cherry balsamic vinegar (trust me) something unique and a lil sensual

XX Phinks: icyhot. The icy hot muscle pain reliever stuff. (Peppermint, menthol) and honestly… it smells pretty good

XX Shizuku: grape jelly. That’s it. Idk how she smells like she spilled the whole jar on herself every day but somehow she does.

XX Ging: ……… literally dust. I feel like he smells like whatever the hell he was around that day, (a swamp, animals, fish, the sewer 🗿) never smells the same two days in a row, even his sweat smell doesn’t repeat 😖

XX Pariston: Irish spring soap bc the best liars and manipulators I knew always used that shit LMAO but yeah pariston would smell clean + good as to not offend any nostrils unlike ging

[scarystoriesfromthegayside]

I’m your Daddy now

Spring break was going to be lit as I made my way down to Florida where I called home. I would spend the week with my mom and her new boyfriend. I liked her new boyfriend, very sweet to her and me. He was also very handsome. I couldn’t believe I was jealous of my mom. Travis was his name. Once I was at the house my mom came out to greet me. After our hug I saw Travis come out with shorts and a tank top on. I noticed a bulge there within his shorts. From the looks of the top of the tank top he was hairy as well,

“I’m Travis,” he said.

He opened his arms for a hug and smiled and reached for it. The embrace was nice as I could smell his musky armpits and I’m sure my dick made quite a jump. That night I decided to take myself outside and sit and look out at the sky. I heard my mom on the inside saying she will be back in a few hours that she had a date with the girls tonight. I waved and told her to have a good time. I closed my eyes for a minute until the back door creeped open and I turned to see Travis walk out. The moon light reflected the salt and pepper look he gave out. He smiled and I smiled.

“It’s beautiful,” he said.

“It is very beautiful,” I said back. Travis placed himself into the chair next to me. I turned to see that he was staring at me.

“How long have you known you were gay,” Travis asked now looking at me with hungry eyes.

“Since I was nine. I watched some men at a pool locker room get dressed and I saw their penis.”

Travis smirked. “Cool,” he said. “Have you ever been with some much older than you?” My heart dropped. His smirk was still there.

“Not recently,” I said nervously.

“But you have?” He asked.

“Yes,” I said.

“Cool,” Travis said. I noticed that my dick was just jumping a bit by Travis and his handsome smirk. Where were these questions coming from.

“You look so handsome,” Travis said.

“Thanks man,” I said back.

Travis then stood up, walked towards my chair and said, “Do you think I’m handsome?”

I gulped. “Yeah, I think you are very handsome.” Travis then laughed. He then leaned down, making me notice that he the musk is still there.

“You know I don’t think your mom would appreciate you complimenting her boyfriend like that,” Travis said. I gulped again.

“I’m just honest,” I said. I then noticed that he was leaning more to me. Then his plump fingers grabbed my chin and raised to see his face.

“I also believe your mom wouldn’t appreciate if we did this.” Just then his juicy manly lips touched mine. Then I couldn’t control myself. I forced more of his lips on mine, parting them to bring our tongues in. I was making out with my mom’s boyfriend. Yikes! Then he pulled away and I was deeply disappointed.

“That was nice,” Travis said. Then he left and went into the house. I smoothed the boner I had that was trapped in my shorts. Then my phone dinged at the sound of a text. It was a number I didn’t know but I figured it was Travis. ‘Cum to the bedroom,’ is what it said. I went up quickly to see Travis in my moms bedroom in just his underwear. All of him was hairy, his chest, body, legs. I stepped forward to see more. Then he came to me and planted his lips on mine again. I couldn’t help to put my arms around him. He pulled my shirt over my head. I placed my hands on his bulge which was very big. I planted my face in his musky armpits, sniffing and licking them.

“Fuck yeah,” Travis growled. I peeled his underwear down revealing his thick uncut cock. My tongue went to the skin and started circling around the head of the meat. It was a second later that my whole mouth went down the meat. I sucked, I spit, I juggled his balls into my mouth, which he moaned loud when I did. Travis lifted me back to my feet and started kissing me again and making our way to the bed. Then he turned me around and bent me over the bed. He forcefully pulled my shorts and briefs down my legs. He kissed one cheek. I shivered at the feeling of that salt and pepper face prickling my ass. Then he spread me apart and placed his face right inside of me. I moaned loud as his tongue traced my entrance. He forced it inside opening it up.

“Fuck that is amazing,” I moaned out.

Travis then lifted from where he was and started to kiss my ear. I kissed his mouth, tasting myself. I was quite delicious.

“From now on,” he growled into my mouth. “I’m your daddy now.”

Then I felt his head pounce on my entrance and I opened up for him. He slid in and I collapsed on the bed. He was so big inside of me. I whimpered as he made another thrust.

“Who am I?” Travis asked.

“Daddy,” I whimpered.

He thrusted in me again.

“I can’t hear you,” Travis growled.

“Daddy, you’re my daddy,” I whined.

“And what do you want daddy to do?”

“Fuck me daddy,” I whined again.

He made another thrust and I collapsed again, grabbing a handful of blankets and screaming.

“Say it again,” Travis said.

I whined and panted. “Fuck me daddy,” I said.

And just then Travis thrusted harder, faster. He growled and I whined into the blanket. I grabbed my hard as rock dick and stroked to the movements given to me.

“Fuck yeah,” Travis growled. “Daddy loves his boy.”

Just then I screamed out my orgasm and came all over the blankets.

“Oh shit son, you want daddy to come,” Travis whined. But before I could answer he thrusted hard into and growled so loud it made me smile. I felt the ooze in my ass from his come. He collapsed next to me.

“Thank you daddy,” I said. Travis looked at me and then leaned in for another kiss.

Mom came home that night and found us watching tv on the couch.

“And what have you 2 been doing tonight?” She asked

[wildestgirls]

I Have a Dream - Our Last Summer

I swear these updates like once every six months will probably never happen again I was just feeling the need to write. yes I did say literally like yesterday the next update would be in summer, no comment. Enjoy !! 🩷

A cool breeze blew through the opened window, making Mika sigh and rest her head lightly against Sam’s large upper arm as she cradled his arm and lay on the bed beside him, trying not to think about strawberry martinis, the smell of vomit still lingering from the bathroom or how muscular she realised Sam’s arms were. 

Sam was trying not to think about how tightly she was clutching onto his arm or how giddy it made him.  

Mika felt her stomach churn and she groaned, holding tighter onto his arm, “Don’t ever let me drink again, please.” 

Sam chuckled through his nose and grinned as he stared up at the ceiling, “Pretty sure I have a video of you saying something like that the last time we went to the club.” 

“You mustn't be doing a good job of keeping me sober then.” she scoffed. 

“You mustn’t be that good at self-control,” he replied cockily but winced and yelped as Mika dug her lavender nails into his arm and leaving red crescent moons in her wake. 

“Ow! You’re being violent!” 

“You’re being rude. I’m a lady, you shouldn’t disrespect me.” 

“You’re no lady, you’re a freak. I’ve seen your search history.” 

Mika laughed loudly and threw her head back. “You can’t fucking read! Yeah, you might’ve seen it but you didn’t read it! 

Sam huffed with a grin and yanked his arm out of her hands and sat up against the pillows, folding his arms and looking away from her. “You’re so mean to me. All because I can’t read well yet.” he replied sassily. 

Mika sat up on her knees and nestled closely to him while grinning promiscuously, “I’m not mean to you because you can’t read, I’m just mean to you because you get so cute when you’re angry.” 

Sam huffed and turned his head to her to petulantly glare, pointedly ignoring the way he was fighting off a grin. “I’m not cute. I’m manly.” 

Mika scoffed and giggled, “Don’t start with all of that, you love it when I call you cute.” 

Sam furrowed his brows in annoyance. “I thought you were supposed to be hungover. What happened to all the ‘Nooo, Sam, I’m so sick, don’t goooo.’” he whined nasally, absolutely mauling her voice. 

“Seeing your cute little face just makes me feel better. Has anyone ever told you how adorable and lovable you are?” 

Sam rolled his eyes and decided to go along with it. “Yeah, they have. What about it?” 

Mika smiled, looking absolutely pleased with herself. “They lied.” 

She screeched in delight as Sam reached behind him and grabbed a pillow, throwing it right in her face and yelling at her, “’Hungover’ my ass!” 

She grabbed the closest pillow to her and hit Sam roughly with it in the chest as she raised herself onto her knees once again. “Just because you’re in a hissy fit because you’re cuter than you are manly!” 

Sam grinned ferally and grabbed her wrists tightly and ripped the pillow from her hands and threw her down onto the bed. Climbing on top of her, he grabbed the pillow he threw at her in the first place and hit her continuously with it as she wrestled with him and tried to escape. She tousled with him until she was able to wrap her legs around his waist and spin them around and wrench the pillow from his hands, so she was sitting on his waist victoriously and panting above him with a toothy grin. 

Sam was about to fight back when she began shifting around on his waist, making his stomach feel like something had suddenly flipped around in his insides. His mouth very quickly went dry at the sight of her perched-on top of him, face flushed and panting as she grinned proudly. She threw the pillow to the side and looked down at him, beginning to tease him unknowingly, “What, this your first time having a girl on top of you or something?” 

She continued looking into his eyes while she waited for his usual, snarky reply. But he didn’t. Then it clicked for her.  

Sam broke eye contact with her and looked to the other side of the room as she sat up with a suddenly embarrassed face. Still, she didn’t make the effort to get up. Sam didn’t know where to put his hands and ended up awkwardly resting them on Mika’s kneecaps. She kept looking down at his embarrassed face and struggled to find something to say to diffuse the tension before failing and settling on silence. 

His rough hands even just resting on her knee sent a thrill through her stomach. Him trapped beneath her in embarrassment and refusing to make eye-contact, face red and hair tousled...it was hot. The look in her eyes changed to one of trepidation, but also curiosity and need. And then she broke the silence, her voice quiet a curious like she was trying to tell him a secret. 

“Are you...y’know...have you ever...?” her voice trailed off, unable to work up the confidence to say it out loud. 

Sam swallowed his pride and looked back into her jade eyes, feeling confident from the energy Mika was unknowingly giving him by straddling him.  

“Am I a virgin? What’s it to you anyway?” he asked, daring her to make another move.  

She took the bait and lowered her hands, so they brushed the tips of his fingers. “I want to know more about you.” she reached down and wrapped her hands around Sam’s and smiled to relieve some of the tension, “Is that a crime, Sam?” 

He shuddered as he involuntarily skimmed some of her energy, which seemed to come in abundance. He squeezed her hands shakily before dodging the question to try and distract himself from the sudden hunger for more. Now that he noticed it, he was fucking starved. He held onto her hands tightly to ground himself. 

“I know you’re a virgin.” he claimed, looking up at her hungrily. 

She simply shrugged with a small blush, “I want to wait for the right person.” 

He felt like she was looking through his eyes and into his soul. “And how do you know who’s the ‘right person’?”  

“Well...if I was going to...y’know...” she quietened. 

“If you were going to have sex?” he finished. 

“If I was going to have sex with them, and...it felt right and it felt...well, good, then I’d know." 

Sam nodded and squeezed her hands gently. “Yeah, I get what you mean.” 

Mika breathed in deeply and shifted on his lap at him squeezing her hands and how it felt like he knew she wanted him. Which he did. 

She leaned back and considered him with heat in her eyes, “You do?” 

Sam swallowed the rest of his tentativeness and doubt at the look she gave him. She wanted him, and he wanted her, and they both knew it. 

He sat up and braced her hips with his strong hands, pulling her impossibly closer into his lap just as his piercing emerald green eyes turned a carnal gold, “Yeah, I do.” 

Mika gasped silently at his hands on her hips and the sudden lack of space between them. While he was trapped underneath her, she felt like she was the one with him under her thumb, but now that it was real and he was right in front of her, she realized how much bigger he was. And then she realized, he had just as much power over her as she had over him. It felt right to be with him like this. 

Sam’s left hand began to trail up slowly from her hips to the nape of her neck, leaving a trail of goosebumps in his wake. Mika shuddered into his touch and leaned closer into his chest. Sam gripped onto her nape gently, forcing her to look into his golden eyes. She bit her lip when she seen them and questioned him, “Do you need energy?” 

Sam replied shortly, trying to keep himself under control and fighting the urge to pounce on her. “I need you.” 

Mika squeezed her thighs as she straddled him. It felt so right, and it felt so, so good. 

“Have me then.” she murmured quietly. 

He pulled her in by the nape of her neck and gently but firmly pressed his lips to hers. Mika made a small keening noise of pleasure, and Sam let out a groan of satisfaction. He slowly absorbed the waves of sexual energy coming from her while constantly running his hands up and down her sides to just hold her and keep drawing out those sounds she was making. 

Mika gently bit down on his lips and pulled away, holding it between her teeth. He was the sex demon, but she still wanted to eat him alive. She released his lips and pulled away, panting slightly. His eyes still flared in a hungry gold, but not hungry for energy, hungry for her. Her heart done a flip in her chest, and she quickly rested her hands against his cheeks before rushing to pull him in for a kiss. It was more rushed than when he kissed her, their teeth knocked together and her nails accidentally scratched the sides of his face in pure desperation. 

Sam let out masochistic groans at her nails marking him so primally and he gripped her hips hard enough to bruise and ground into her. Mika gasped and pulled away, moving her hands down from his face to his wide shoulders, “S-stop, stop...” 

Sam released the harsh grip he had on her hips and pulled away, out of breath. As they tried to regain their breath, Sam rested his head on her shoulder and listened and tried to keep his focus at the sound of her ragged breathing. 

“You ok?” he asked in concern, worried he’d taken too much energy. 

Mika nodded from beside him as her breathing settled. When she collected herself, she rested her hand against the back of his head, playing with his already messy hair. “Thank you.” she whispered. 

Sam laughed quietly. “Thank you, Mika. Fuck you thanking me for?” 

Mika chuckled with him and paused for a moment to try and explain herself, “Just...the way you looked at me...made me happy.” 

Sam made a small smile. “Good. I’m glad.” he said quietly as he tried to settle down and stop thinking about Mika kissing him so carnally and desperately like that. 

Her voice was quiet but sure when she spoke next. “It’s just...I don’t know if I’m ready for sex. Kissing like that was a lot. Sex...I don’t know about it yet. I know I said I’d do it if it felt good and right but, I don’t know...” 

Sam silenced her quickly with a firm look. “Mika, I don’t care what you said earlier. If you don’t want to, we won’t. It’s that simple. Trust me, when you want to, we can,” he assured her confidently. 

Mika smiled softly. “I do want to, it’s just...” she let out a tired groan, “I don’t know how long ago I woke up, and I’m tired...” 

“You don’t need a reason, Mika. I get it.” he reassured. “I’m just...I’m happy that we did...y’know...that.”  

Mika snorted, “Yeah, don’t sound too happy about it.” 

“I am happy we done it! I’m very happy we kissed like that actually!” 

“I can tell, I can still see your boner.” 

Sam panicked, “What-” he quickly looked down. No boner. He groaned and glared at Mika. “Ha, ha, ha. So funny, Mika.” 

Mika sat there giggling with the evilest grin on her face that Sam had ever seen. “Wasn’t it? Wish I got a photo of your face.” 

“Right after I said I was so happy to kiss you and everything.” Sam grumbled. 

Mika smiled and grabbed his jaw gently before turning his head to the side and kissing his cheek. “I know. So cute.” 

“Whatever.” Sam murmured, trying and failing to hide his grin. 

[megantronusprime]

Which of the mercs smoke?

Just my personal headcanons.

Mentions of smoking (obviously), drugs and alcohol below. 

Scout - At the beginning, he’d try to smoke cigarettes or on Sniper’s smoke sessions to seem cool, but would almost hack up a lung. But when he got past that initial insecurity, he was a lot more relaxed with passing it up. It wasn’t his thing and he didn’t want to mess with his cardio performance. 

Soldier - Cigarettes aren’t manly enough for him, and he would never smoke reefer (he wrinkles his nose in disgust when he passes by Sniper’s camper and it smells like skunk), but he does enjoy smoking cigars in his downtime. 

Pyro - they’re constantly hotboxing in that suit

Demo - Smoking is mostly just social for him. He’ll join Sniper in a smoke sesh, join Spy for a smoke, or have a cigar with Soldier while playing poker. You’d think that since drinking increases the urge to smoke, you’d find him accompanying his scrumpy with a smoke. But no, he likes to enjoy them separately - individually.

Engineer - This man worked in the oil patch in the 50′s. He definitely smoking cigarettes to keep up with the crazy hours and because of the work culture. But he hates it, and every time he smoked a cigarette, he has the brief thought of “My mama would be so disappointed if she knew.” (Which, she did catch him one time when he was visiting home, and the look on her face made him feel just awful.)

When he went off to college, he managed to kick it for the most part. But every so often when he stayed up late working on a creeping deadline, he’d cave and pick it back up again before quitting again. 

Now, working at Mann Co., Dell still enjoys a smoke while tinkering, or with the guys while on break. He’ll often take a smoke from the guys while sighing, “I really should quit...” But smoking now has this nostalgic quality for him, so he doesn’t have nearly as much guilt as he used to. 

(he also tried smoking weed but isn’t super into it because he doesn’t like how it makes him feel.)

Heavy - Heavy is actually pretty healthy, and likes to refrain from smoking, for the most part. Isn’t interested in weed and I imagine cigarettes are too small for his fingers (lol), but like Soldier, he’ll indulge in a cigar, if only once in a blue moon.

Spy - this man is a human cigarette. Meh about weed - not against it, but it doesn’t excite him, either. Also, he doesn’t care about cigars - the whole ritual surrounding them does not interest him. Cigarettes only for him, please and thank you.

Sniper - It’s not an uncommon headcanon that he will try any drug once. And I think I agree with that. (It’s also canon that he did drugs with Miss Pauling, which I love.) Prefers weed to anything, but won’t say no to a cig. But, he is a professional, so will absolutely under no circumstances smoke weed before work. He keeps it to the weekends, mostly.

Medic - Will smoke a cigarette here and there, yeah. I think people like to either imagine him as a wild dude, or a doctor who follows his own advice and treats his body like a temple. I think he’s had a wild youth, but he’s mostly past it and uninterested. (Honestly, I see him more as a coke guy, lol. Even if not currently, definitely in his past.)

[the-90s-music-colosseum]

the person who said it's all trolls voting for Hole is wrong because Hole are actually really good and i voted for them to win on every poll they've been in cos they're good and also Courtney Love is cool. like yeah she had issues but also so did a lot of the other musicians in this tournament. and i like Hole more than i like Nirvana, though it is kind of annoying that they've been co-opted into the whole #girlboss aesthetic thing because they are so much cooler than that, not to mention they have a lot more depth to them, lyrically and musically. like yeah a lot of their songs specifically are about a female experience but i think that's cool, because alternative music has a lot of Men being Manly. there aren't a lot of songs that have the anger and self-expression of Hole songs but are still about motherhood, or seeking a unique identity as a girl. the kind of expression of anger and wanting more is not seen a lot in media made by women because it's less accepted, but Hole does a good job of saying 'yeah this sucks and i hate it' in contexts other than relationships.

also Live Through This has so many good songs! Violet! Miss World! Doll Parts! i quote the 'it smells like girl it smells like girl' line from She Walks on Me all the time. the chord progression is Miss World is really cool to like it's so simple but also sounds so good. the guitar is really good, and there's some really cool drumming too. and their cover of Credit in the Straight World is cool too i love the organ at the start.

anyways Live Through This completely deserves to win tho i don't think it will, it's one of the best grunge albums i think. subjective opinion of course but yknow. just putting it out there.

The public has responded!

[thecurseoflife]

CHAPTER 20 : Planning the Rebellion

Camalia woke up feeling rested and refreshed. Yesterday was a big step for her, and it seems that the night settled her doubts and confirmed her path.

Unaware of the change, she jumped on her feet, put the blanket and pillow away, settled her guitare on her shoulders and left for the kitchen. Since they were in a castle, it was huge. There was food scattered everywhere, testimony of the panic the cooks must have felt. Clementine and Andrew were already there, obviously not even trying to tidy up the place, having only cleaned up one side of the table they were eating on.

They barely even lifted their eyes to greet her, and Camalia did the same. If they actually left all the food on the floor, it might rot faster and the room would become paved with some weird goo and filled with a horrible smell. She picked eveything up and carefully put them back to their place, going as far as even dusting the place.

Once she was happy with it, she sat to eat as well, the two Saporians long gone by now. The girl was starting to feel a bit lonely when a merry, and very loud group of people entered.

Camalia turned around to greet Varian, followed closely by Juniper that was busy messing with him. Behind them, Maisie and Kai were quietly laughing at some inside joke they made.

The music mage was kind of surprised to see that her friend was still in his torn clothes, and not the shiny, new, better-then-hers ones he promised. Catching her curious look, the alchemist immediatly defended himself.

-It isn't ready yet. After all, such a masterpiece, it takes some time to be made, heh. What about you ? I don't see any new fabric on you either.

-Well, uh... It isn't ready either ! What do you think ? Mine is, hum... really cool too !

Varian gave her a look of disbelief and smiled.

-Mmh, yeah you don't sound very convinced. Good ! Not that I feared that your clothing would be better than my gorgeous, manly one, but hey ! Nice to know.

Camalia mumbled something under her breath, red with both embarrassment and irritation, before stuffing her face with some salad. The boy chuckled and sat beside her, Juniper, Maisie and Kai, that had followed the interraction with much interest, sitting on the other side of the table. They all had their breakfast as a noisy, happy mess before splitting up to finish the clothes.

Juniper stopped in her track, turning to Camalia that hadn't moved yet.

-What are you doing, princess ? Don't you want to win the bet ?

The girl stretched and grinned.

-Of course I do ! But I would really like to take a walk first. I never could in my cell, but I've always dreamed of just taking a morning walk after some good breakfast !

What a weird dream to have. But Juniper couldn't care less and shrugged before leaving the kitchen.

-Alright, do what you want. But I'm not doing it in your place, I'll be waiting in the princess' room when you're done.

She wasn't lying when she said she dreamed about it. Taking a walk. It was such a futile thing. A thing she could've so easily done with her key. And she wasn't lying when she said she really felt like taking a walk right after eating. She didn't lie, that's for sure. So, Camalia left the kitchen and did exactly as she said. She strolled around the castle, literally, around it. She took a quick glance out of every single window. If she met anyone, she would slow down her track and gaze outside for longer, as if she was lost in thought and something had caught her eyes. The person would look too, but seeing nothing, would shrug and pass.

It took a little while, but she finally saw it. It was really discreet, still in the shadows of the morning, hidden to those that don't search for it. A quick glance was all it took. It was written with water, and would be gone by midday, evaporated by the sun. 6PM, uh ? Well. She had time to win her bet.

She finished her walk, more peacefully, truly letting her mind wander and calm itself. Camalia got to the princess' room feeling fresh and ready to work. She opened it and was greeted by Juniper, that closed her book and they resumed the sewing process.

2 hours later, and the clothes were done ! Once Juniper was out of the room, Camalia stripped and changed to the new clothes. It was made of a light red scarf with some spikes, matching with a darker red open on the sides dress. From the same fabrix, there were gloves that went up to her elbow. She was wearing some tight black shorts under the dress, for obvious reasons. To complete it all, she had found a bunch of jewels that clashed with the red. One golden belt that was surprisingly confortable to wear, two gold bracelets, 4 anklets, two on each foot, and some weird skull shapped hairclip. She swirled around, admiring herself in the mirror. It was the first time she had been wearing anything other than her cell clothes since she was a kid.

Juniper knocked lightly, checking if the kid was done.

-Come in !

-Oh, well look at that ! Fit you like a glove ! We really did a good job on that.

The woman looked up and down, appreciating their hardwork, and her eyes fell on Camalia's bare feet. She pointed at them, intrigued.

-What about that ? I don't know how to make shoes. I guess we could steal some from-

-No no no ! No need ! I actually feel really comfortable like this, it's fine.

Juniper rose an eyebrow.

-Are you sure, princess ? You could cut yourself and get an infection or something like that. Shoes are not just there to be pretty.

Camalia smiled and nodded. It just felt right. Per usual, Juniper brushed it off and inspected her hair instead. She suggested changing the style, as it wasn't really fitting with the three hairclips pressed against eachother in her single braid. She muttered about how her hair was remarkably strong, and may not need protective hairstyle.

-Say, how long does it take you to wash your hair ?

-What ? I-I don't know ? It's uh... I don't know ! It depends, I guess !

-You don't have to give me a precise time, just guess.

-I-I would say, hum... Between 1 and 2 hours ? I suppose ? I don't know. I feel stupid saying that. It's probably less.

Juniper nodded, seemingly satisfied with the answer. She shuffled the kid's hair a bit, while still muttering.

-Mmh, and do you straighten it ?

-No ? Why would I do that ?

Juniper made the "I don't know" sound and kept feeling her hair for a bit before nodding.

-Your hair is completely different from mine, I don't think a more traditional way would suit you anyway. Or would actually hold your hair in place for a while.

Camalia stayed silence, letting the Saporian's thoughts unfold. And mostly because she had no idea what the woman was saying, so it was better to just, let her talk.

-I'm thinking a hairstyle a bit like your braid, but maybe cut in half, and braided on the side ? What do you think ?

Oh no she had to answer. But she had still no idea what was going on. What's braided on the side ? What do you mean cut in half ? She couldn't visualize it, so didn't really had any opinion.

-Oh, hum, yeah, that sounds... cool !

Juniper made a satisfied huff and took her own comb out of one of her pockets. Then her own brush. And her own products, if you could even call it that. She took out an absurd amount of hair ustensiles and put it on the table.

-Couldn't you just use... these ?

Camalia was pointing at the princess' own absurd amount of hair product, resting on another shelf. The Saporian quickly glanced at it and groaned.

-Yeah, no, I don't think so. Do you have 7 feet long silky shiny blond hair ? No ? Great, we're on the same page. Let's go.

She sat Camalia on a chair and spun it around, making the girl face the gigantic mirror while she was behind, tons of unidentified, very sharp and scary objects in hand.

-W-wait Juniper, I don't think that's necesser-

-Don't be stupid. Now shut it and let me work.

Feeling she didn't understand enough to have some convincing argument, Camalia did exactly that for 1 gruesome, very painful hour. Usually, it was either Masha or herself that did her hair, and it was always very gentle and sweet. Boy did she not expect so much brutality from just hairstyling. She didn't complain, having had to deal with way worse, but still, not a very pleasant experience. Especially when she went to look after all that pain and there was barely a difference. Juniper explained how she nourished the hair and helped it's volume, and how she relaxed it, and a bunch of other fancy words to say how good of a job she did.

Camalia politely thanked her and they split ways, Juniper leaving for the library to finish her book, and the music mage excitedly going towards Kai's and Maisie's room, where they were finishing Varian's own ouftit.

She still kept an eye on the clock, but it wasn't even lunch time. She had plenty of time.

She was surprised to pass Kai and Maisie in the hallway, and learned that they had just finished the ouftit and Varian was currently putting it on. Not kin on watching her best friend naked, Camalia decided to wait by the door. There was no way he wasn't going to get out of the room gloating, ready to rub his victory in her face. Little did he know, SHE was going to win. Her ouftit was simple, but perfect. There was no flaws, from the idea to it's execution. Of course, Juniper did say Kai taught her everything she knew about sewing... But still, she definitely had the upper hand. Creativity and crafting was always her thing. She was so going to win this.

Well, he sure was taking his sweet time. Camalia didn't really feel like playing, so she let her thoughts wander a bit more instead. How would the meeting go, tonight ? She feared Stan and Pete would ask her something she wouldn't do, like poison the Saporians. She knew they were in the wrong, but still related to them. Plus, most of them were just really hurt nice people. And even if they weren't, even if they were all like that Andrew jerk and the glyphs mage, neither she or anyone else should decide who should die and who should live. It was simply wrong. On the other hand, maybe they would ask something she could do, but could be pretty dangerous. It didn't scare her as much as the other option. It was kind of exciting to be honest. But she still had to be careful.

... It was weird. Being able to think freely like that. No walls, no insinuating voices piercing her brain. She was alone in her own mind. It was weird, yes. But not unwelcomed. It was calming. Soothing. Relaxing. Nice. Yes, it was nice.

She wondered where was Ruddiger. If he was okay. She hoped so. It was wrong of them to put him in the middle of all that. Once they find him, she will give him so many seeds and apples ! She will spoil him like there's no tomorrow.

And on that note, the door slammed open to reveal Varian, gloating as planned, in a brand new ouftit. There was so many layers to it she wondered how he could be walking around without sweating. It was the polar opposite of her's. Although, they did have a similar bandana. Even is his was currently over his nose.

His white pants and boots reminded her of Andrew's, and made her a bit nauseous. He had a long black coat with red accents, a pair of huge red gloves with... things on it. A surprising amount of belts around his waist and one going across his chest. She couldn't she clearly through the forest of belts but he had a grey-ish shirt under that. Of course, his famous goggles on top of his head as well. It looked good on him, no doubt in that. Maybe they will have to call it a tie in the end...

The alchemist finally noticed her and put his bandana down to talk. He probably said something along the line of "hey, what are you doing here ?" or, "woah you're done too ?". But Camalia didn't hear that. Her eyes and mind were entirely focused on a fake goatee, clearly drawn with a pen, on her friend's face. It looked. So. Stupid.

She probably should've suck it up. Well, she tried. She tried really hard to make a poker face. Camalia burst out laughing in the middle of the corridor, seconds after Varian put his bandana down. Varian blushed, slightly embarrassed.

-It's the belts isn't it ? I told Kai it was too much. Maybe a few less ?

The music mage could barely breathe, even more so that her friend thought it was the belts. The belts ? Seriously ? Have you not looked in the mirror ? It took her a moment to catch her breath, then pointed at the ridiculous lines on his chin.

-Oh this ? Doesn't it look neat ? Makes me older, don't you think ?

He really seemed to like it. And it did make a him a little bit more confident. She still thought it was and looked dumb as hell, but it's not because she wouldn't do it that he shouldn't. If this is one of the pieces that would help him get back together, then so be it. She sighed and let her arm down.

-No, you look stupid and it make it seems as if you're playing dress up. So, in a way... it actually makes you younger.

Camalia promised she wouldn't lie to him anymore. And she wasn't. Stung to the core, Varian violently blushed and hid his face with his arm. He mumbled something under his breath. Suddenly he was feeling really stupid and silly. All his layers seemed really heavy and unecessary, but also a protection, a shell toward the outside world.

-But, if you think it looks neat, then it does. If you think it makes you feel older, then it does.

The alchemist lowered his arm a little, curious to see where she was going with this.

-I mean, Clementine can pull her look off, so honestly, if this goes, anything goes. The whole thing is about confidence. Maybe you won't need it tomorrow, but for now, you are comfortable with it, and that's what's important.

He put his arm down, the layers back on his shoulder where it made sense for him, and his confidence renewed. He offered her a grateful smile and finally took the time to check what her clothing looked like. The first thing that hit him was how different it was from his. There were barely any layers, and a lot of her skin was uncovered, especially the arms and legs. Her accents were gold on red, whereas his was red on black. They still had the red to link them both. He liked how her hair looked different, a bit more... lively ? In a way. Ah, they had similar bandanas. It was like frienship bracelets ! Even if they weren't really back to this stage yet...

Varian had to admit, it was pretty ! And it did look good on her. He didn't really thought much of the bet anymore. They both looked cool in different ways. It might have been a bit silly of them to act like that. Still, it was fun. And the competition spirit they got into was fun too !

-Camalia... I wanted to say...

He took a deep breath.

-I'm sorry. About what I said, before we start the plan. I-I mean after the breakout but before the... the thing, you know ! With the wand. Of Oblivium. I shouldn't have said that, and I realize it now. It was crossing a line. I'm really sorry.

This took the music mage by surprise. It didn't change her objective at all, but she was still glad he acknowledged it. Before she could accept the apology, Varian started talking again, about the bet this time. It was a tie, like she thought, and it was probably for the best.

They went to the kitchen for lunch, and then they all went to do their own things. The plan was still going, but the aftershock of losing all their memories were still very present on the king and queen, so they had to let them rest for now.

As planned, Camalia discreetly left the castle around 6pm and went to meet Stan and Pete at the rendez-vous point. What a surprise it was to find Masha there too.

The music mage immediate reaction was to ask her to leave. This wasn't like in the castle, this wasn't safe, and she shouldn't be there. Of course, Masha's immediate reaction was to scold her, reminding her that she was a responsible adult that knew of the danger and decided to come by themself. If it bothered the kid, she could go and fry herself an egg.

-And what are those clothes ?! What happened to your shirt and your pants ? You're going to get cold running around like that.

-No, no ! Don't worry. I just wanted to change since the other ones were a bit... dated.

Masha didn't seem really convinced, and gestured vaguely.

-Yes, well, it does not do at all. Why so much red ? I thought you liked orange better. Did these ruffians force you to wear this ? Were you molested ?

-Masha please, interrupted Stan, you promised you wouldn't intervene with our work.

-Have you seen this girl ? How can I not intervene ?! Don't worry, sweetie. I'm going to make you some much better clothing, that'll fit you like a glove. Unlike these... things.

-Ah, don't bother Masha, I don't want to-

-Nonsense ! You are not going to walk around in these forever, are you ? Don't answer, I don't want to hear it. Have you been eating well, too ? Where have you been sleeping ?

-Oh well, I felt a bit uncomfortable taking someone else's room so I just kind of... slept on the floor.

Masha let out a shocked gasp.

-Dear ! That is quite unhealthy, especially now that no one is cleaning it ! Tell you what : you can take my room. I don't mind at all, and you will even be able to keep it organized so I don't come back to a mess !

-Masha-

-Yes, yes, I'll stop. But that won't stop me from coming next time, Pete !

The captains sighed in perfect sync, followed by Camalia's giggle. She made the report of the day, which was pretty quick, since there wasn't much to say about it yet. They explained that a lot of the citizens are just going on with their daily lives. Of course, they're worried, but since there isn't much they can do about it, they just ignore it altogether. Some decided to go against the Saporians, and created a rebellion. The people included the captains, Masha, one guard, Xavier the blacksmith, Mrs. Crowley, and a few other Camalia didn't need to know about. They took Xavier's forge as their base, and are talking strategy there.

The music mage explained again that Varian was soon supposed to start making a replica of the wand of oblivium, on a larger scale. They needed the rulers to recover first so they could make them believe they gave the order. Other than that, they didn't have much more of a plan.

-Ah, yes ! I almost forgot ! A huge balloon escaped the night the Saporians took over. They asked me to shoot it down but I managed to purposefuly miss.

-A balloon ? How do you escape with that ?

-A hot hair balloon, Masha.

The handmaid blushed and pretended she knew all along.

-Did you see who was on board ?

-Sadly, no. It was way too high up. But we probably can guess.

-Mmh, you're right, we'll look into it.

FIRST | Previous | Next

WHAT’S THIS ?

[rei-does-stuff]

MLP MYM LIVE BLOG

Ep one!!!

-THE MARE-STREAM!!!

-Sunny making sure Misty is okay EEE!!

-The way Hitch looks at pipp oooooo!!!!

-AWW HITCH DOING THE DEEP AND MANLY VOICE, I love how much of a dork he isss

-oh noo shes anxious :((

-“smooth sailing!” *immediate storm* Its the little things in this show i love <3

-HEY THEY ACKNOWLEDGED IT

-THE INTRO!!! Oh how I’ve missed you!!!

-OOO SONG!!! CATCHY!!

-AW HITCH IS THE ONLY ONE NOT GROOVING CMON MAN

-Little SunIzzy moment (they’re standing together)

-OH YEA SPARKY ISNT HERE

-AWWW MAMA FIGGY

-Convinced Sunny only suggested that bc she’s been BURSTING to share that story

-ALSO TINY SUNNY I MISSED YOU WE HAVENT SEEN YOU SINCE THE MOVIE!!

-She loved sellin shit even as a kid <3

-ARGYLE!!!! MY MAN!!!!!!!!!!

-Aw they couldn’t get his actual voice actor it seems (not even the one from tyt :()

-WAIT WHY DOES SHE HAVE THE YELLOW EYESHADOW AS A KID THATS RECENT I SMELL A CONTINUITY ERROR!!!!!!!!!!!

-jkjk maybe her dad put it on her, or she snuck into the makeup cabinet <33

-AWW SHES SO CUTE

-Aww siblings bickering <3

-AWW TINY ZIPP AND PIPP ARE CUTEE

-Epic <3

-That wasn’t flying! That was falling with style!!! /ref

-WONDERBOLT

-DONT USE YOUR DOG AS A TISSUE QUEEN HAVEN!!

-HITCH IS SOO CUTE

-SPROUT!

-OH so sprout’s talent IS kindness! Glad to know that! Like a knight in shining armor!!

-IZZY MY BELOVED

-That water animation,,, I did say it was SLOWLY getting better in the animation department…Slowly—

-Misty has social anxiety, we are the sameee

-She talks to herself! Just like me!!!

-IM JUST SAYING…T4T Zipitch it could work

-MAKEOVER!!!!!

-HA people pleaser sunny <3

-The red doesn’t work for me either

-I like the green!!

-AND THERE WE HAVE HER NEW MANE!!! I love itt

-Sunny being concerned :(((

-DONT LIE MISTY!! THEYLL UNDERSTAND!!

-OPALINE!!! I love herr

-YUP that will be a tad awkward but shell get through it!!

-Pipp my dramatic queen

-AWW THEYRE NICE!!!

-Aww Haven being encouraging

-It does look weird, them using utensils

-OH HAVEN IM SURE SHE DOESNT WANNA UNLOAD HER TRAUMA ON A BUNCH OF KIDS

-YOU ARE CUT OUT FOR THIS WORLD MISTY!!!

-Oh so we know opaline was never gonna give misty her cutie mark, nice nice

-YIPPEE

-trottie-talkies THAT IS SO CUTE

-POSEY!

-AWW ITS OKAY TO BE SHY MISTY

-NOO DONT CRY

-See I love how they tell her its okay!! In g4 I’m sure they wouldn’t done an ep telling her to just go out there and be confident but here they can be like “yeah! Its okay to be nervous! We can do something else!”

-SONG

-THEYRE CONCERNED ABT HER AAAA

AAAA THAT WAS SO GOOD

EP 2

-TINY MISTY????

-Those pancakes look sooo good

-Sunny trying to comfort the situation!!

-Sunny and Zipp act like a bickering married couple sometimes

-Aww yk Haven and Alphabittle are a cute couple ngl

-OUGH HES LOOKING FOR HIS DAUGHTER!!! FOR MISTY!!!

-TELL HER!!! DONT HIDE YOUR FEELINGS!!

-THEY ALL RUSH IN TO COMFORT HER :(((

-BREEZIES!!

-They all have the same hairstyle, reminds me of g3

-I wonder if the shit theyre saying actually means something if you slow it down, probs not but yk

-I have a feeling that Misty’s trauma with Opaline cause her to forget all this, maybe push it back deep in her head as a way to cope?

-Breezies using phones THE HORROR!!

-Ipad kids breezie edition

-Ur so funny sunny :)

-THE KEY FROM THE TRAILER

-ARG CLIFFHANGER

EP 3!!!

-SPARKY MAGIC!!!

-DRAGON LORE???

-AWW misty and sparky siblings arcc

-SONG

-Aww misty being selfless!!

-After sparky!!

-DRAGON LAND!!!

-it looks a lot more…Grassy compared to g4!

-No dragons…Ooooo

-BATS

-Ooo so we might get an episode abt hitch having to let sparky go!

-Look at pipp being smart!!

-LOOK AT THEM PUTTING TWO AND TWO TOGETHER!!

-OUGH HAPPY REUNION IM CRYING

-I THOUGHT THE THEORIST WERE CRAZY BUT THEY WERE RIGHT MANNN

-Im wondering how misty met opaline tho!! We knew she “rescued” misty but how??? I NEED ANSWERS!!

-I guess this also makes misty pipp and zipp’s step sisters! Sorry shippers!

-HITCH WITH A RAINBOW MANE LOOKS SO COOL

OKAY OKAY ILL WATCH THE REST TOMORROW BUT AAAA I LOVED THAT!!!

[iheartgracie]

Vandy Hall Funny Quotes

“despite the fact I’m not the least bit surprised the guys are talking about stealing a car, I am surprised they’re stupid enough to actually do it.. Again.”

“Although, you’re wrong about one thing.”

He raises an eyebrow. “What’s that?”

“If I’d just run twenty suicides,” I slip on the sunglasses, flipping my hair over a shoulder, “I’d still smell like sunshine and rainbows.”

“I think it’s cool you’re not letting him drag you down”

“That was—” I start, because someone has to say something, and from the shell-shocked look on his face, the expression that no doubt precedes deep and sudden regret, he is at a loss for words. “Okay.”

His eyebrow shoots up. “Okay?”

“Okay,” I repeat, giving my lips a quick suck. “That was… okay. Good. Done. Mission accomplished.”

Oh my god, Vandy, shut the fuck up. I give him a double thumbs-up. ”

“She leans into the touch. “He’s a fucking jerk.”

My eyebrows shoot up my forehead. “Baby V. Such language.”

She whacks me playfully in the stomach. “Well, he is!”

“It’ll make you feel good,” she explains.

“So will a milkshake from The Nerd.”

She quirks an eyebrow. “Call me ambitious, but I’m sort of hoping getting a blowjob from me is better than a milkshake.”

“Afton stands and holds up her slip, announcing, “I’ve put down Tyson, so hands off. He’s the only other Devil involved in a long-term relationship.” 

I want to point out that her boyfriend is also in a long-term relationship—with his wife—but I’m actually a little scared of Afton and don’t want her to kick my ass. ”

“You could probably use a lesson, too.”

Emory scoffs. “I can cook.”

“You can cook?” Vandy throws her head back and laughs, loud and bubbly. “Stop, my sides.”

But Emory’s relaxed now, strutting up to the island, bracing on his forearms. “Fuck off, I make plenty of stuff.”

“Hot dogs and hamburgers?” She gives him a look. “Yeah, you’re basically a culinary mastermind.”

“Just what the hell were you thinking with that stuff last night?”

“What stuff?”

I fling a gesture at his face. “The fighting, you idiot! You two going at it like that? That’s what’s fucking stupid.”

He rolls his eyes, wincing because of aforementioned idiocy. “This is what guys do, V.”

“No, it’s what children do.” I add, “Actually, I know children who manage to settle their differences more maturely than that.”

“So that’s how it went down.”

“Well, when you say it like that…” On second thought, “Nope, still sounds idiotic.”

“I look at the bruise on his jaw. It’s swollen and blotted with blue and purple. It looks painful every time he talks. 

I jab my finger into it. 

“Ow!” He flinches, slapping my hand away. “What the fuck!”

“Don’t insult my brother!”

He cradles his jaw, eyes flashing. “You’re insane!”

“And you’re an even bigger idiot than I thought.”

“You’re overbearing, you don’t respect my boundaries, and you have serious control issues. But you’re a good brother!” I make a sharp sound when he opens his mouth. “Not up for debate. I’m the only person you’re a brother to, so my opinion is the only one that counts. Shut up about it.”

“Emory still looks like shit though, right?”

She rolls her eyes. “Yes, you big strong manly man, you won. Your ego can sleep soundly.”

“Vandy groans, “Oh my god,” and swipes her bag from the ground. “The amount of times I’ve had to see you sucking some poor girl’s face are unquantifiable.”

“Hey,” I say, squeezing her hand. “We forgot about the Stairway.” At her confused glance, I elaborate, “You know, as a Kmart alternative.”

Her eyes widen. “Yes! Oh my god, Reyn, I have third period free on Wednesdays.”

“These people are crazy,” I say, amazed as more yelps begin sounding out. “We might be the only smart ones. This whole secret society is doomed.”

[thrndlngs]

hey rose! (can i call you that?? sorry if that's not your preference) i may or may not have caught a case of crazy phat mad feelings for a boy and i was wondering if you had any cute headcanons about some of the MHA boys pining for a pretty fem reader?? i can't imagine this guy liking me back but i figure hey, if nobody got me ik pretty superhero boys got me AMEN lmbo no pressure on this request. hope you're doing well and things are okay in your world!! thanks love you!! first anon OUT 😌✌️✨💖

omg ya that’s totally cool!! i actually like that!!!! but omg, pls! i’m sure it’ll work out if not... hopefully these headcanons will help u out!!! LOVE U FIRST ANON!!!!!!!!

IZUKU MIDORIYA, 

will definitely stare at the back of your head during class and imagine 700 different scenarios that could ‘possibly’ happen if the two of you ever have a conversation that doesn’t involve school.

keeps note of your quirks and tries to give you pointers on how to use ur quirk via crumpled paper airplanes in the courtyard or slipped into ur locker.

will always, always, always keep an eye out for you to make sure you’re okay - if he sees you crying he’s gonna embarrass himself and be like, “you think that’s bad? kachan almost blew me to bits.” and now the both of you are crying.

daydreams about u.

whenever the class is training at the USJ or anywhere really, he’s bouncing. like. literally bouncing on his heels in case something goes wrong, he wants to be able to intervene. not because he thinks you’re not capable of fending for urself but it’s because he literally can not bare the thought of u getting hurt.

he definitely draws ur names with a heart and arrow through it!!!!!!!

really admires u and tries to be really nonchalant about how fond he’s become of u so when the two of you do have a conversation it’s just like... gibberish. you know when he goes on those little rants and the words cloud around him and everyone is like??? midoriya wtf. yeah like that.

BAKUGOU KATSUKI,

explosive boy definitely doesn’t know he likes you until he goes to recovery girl and recovery girl has to explain him the ‘weird’ feeling in his stomach, the rise of temperature in his face and the quickening of his pulse is literally because he has a crush. on you.

and boy does this raging blonde flip his shit. him?? have a crush??? when he’s trying to be number one hero??? a distraction??? not in this lobby.

easier said than done.

tries to avoid you at all costs. like even moves his seat permanently so he doesn’t have to breathe the same air as you.

no because during a training the two of you are teamed up and this man literally holds his breath like he’s five because he doesn’t want to inhale your ‘germs’. but he grows up a bit and realizes that you’re actually pretty strong and can handle your own. heavy emphasis on the pretty. 

so not only is he pinning for you but now he sees you as competition. so the initial plan to avoid you goes out of the window because he wants to one up you.

bakugou’s face is tomato red everytime the two of you spar and you think it’s because he’s mad but jokes on u.

takes a HOT minute but he’ll suffer in silence and just y’know open the door and wait five minutes for you to walk through it and then complain after. 

sees you in the hallway and flicks you in the forehead and reminds you that he’s going to be number one. but later beats himself up because wtf? why didn’t he say something else.

will go out of his way to fix your fighting stances and then have a coughing fit. so he’s going to push through his feelings but it’s really obvious to everyone else that he isn’t being lowkey, yknow?

IIDA TENYA,

my favorite class rep. he’s going to be so obvious about it. like. he’s an open book.

will offer to help you study. makes sure your chair is pulled out every morning so you don’t have to do it.

will also let you board the bus first.

will also tense up whenever you look at him. holds an emergency class meeting (excluding you) to figure out how to handle this ‘situation’ and everyone is like... dude

he takes kirishima’s ‘show her you’re a manly man’ to serious and tries to show off. with his grades, quirk and his class rep status which you know isn’t working so he’s back to square one. 

as bad as it sounds he makes a copy of all of his notes and color codes them based off of his you know ‘coding’ system and has it handy in case you don’t come to class one day or fall behind.

everyone knows but you. everyone also thinks that you would’ve found out by now since iida holds you on your own pedestal but! LOLKDSAJ

DENKI KAMINARI,

okay so.... this man... is so drama. he’s a clutz and obvious but he isn’t going to be direct. whether it’s because he’s scared of being rejected or because he’s not confident enough like bakugou and todoroki is unknown but anywayz

leans on the locker and tries to woo you with some words and falls. literally falls over. it’s okay though (in his eyes) because you immediately get eye level with him and try to check on him. it’s a win in his eyes.

is totally okay with the nickname ‘calamari’ but only likes it when you call him that. he tries to tell everyone that it’s a ‘you and him’ thing and gets teased abt it.

tries to include you in every conversation possible. he wants you to feel included in everything.

thinks ur like a walking goddess and that u should be treated as such.

he gets a little to excited around you so whenever the two of you touch he gives off some electricity and immediately goes on a thirty minute rant on how sorry he is.

makes you... a fucking... mixtape... with scribbled out hearts on the cover.

also... sends you songs to listen to but it’ll be like some random edm song and ur like”oh wow... love that...” and he’s like “ok cross that out she doesn’t like EDM.” and is DETERMINED to find out your favorite genre so the two of you have something to bond over.

changes your ringtone on his phone to the pokemon theme song because and i quote, “she’s the ash to my pikachu.”

isn’t so lowkey about his crush but??? everyone thinks he’s like?? just being himself?? so??? 

EIJIRO KIRISHIMA,

 bro. this man... THIS LOVELY SHARK BOY. 

is literally textbook definition of GENTLEMAN.

will not act on his feelings until YOU act on them because he’s scared he’ll overstep so he’s going to be like..... suffering in silence. but he doesn’t mind!!!!!!

holds the door 4 u. :)

checks on u 24/7.

stares at you in class and drools. 

walks with you like everywhere. literally. like to class, to the dorms, back to ur parents, to the mall. everywhere.

this is totally a best friend to lovers trope.

whenever he’s got doubt he will turn to u immediately because he trusts u and ur guidance. 

will even ask if u could spar with him (so you can a, spend time with him but b, because he wants u to be able to be the best version of urself u can be). 

whenever something goes south he will put his hand out in front of u. always. and you’ll wrap your fingers around his bicep and he will melt.

i think he knows he’s like... fucked because you explain to him that although his ‘hardening’ quirk makes his skin... rough, he’s still pretty soft. and smells nice.

man... that gets him THROUGH THE DAYS.

TODOROKI SHOTO,

another clueless boy. 

is very confused at first but after some hours of research he’s like oh. 

and then shit hits the fan.

like kirishima, really values your input and actually goes to you for advice for two reasons: one because you’re sensible and honest but it’s more for the simple reason that he’s trying to see what you like and don’t like.

you start to notice some changes in his behavior. not drastic ones but enough to raise an eyebrow.

is more vocal in his conversations with you.

tries his best to improve his body language (ie: will face you with undivided attention and arms unfolded to look more receptive) 

just stares at you in general to see what your reactions to things are.

like, in the hallway when ur talking to mina and the lowerclassmen says something stupid and the two of you scowl? well, guess what? now he doesn’t like that guy either and will give him a piece of his mind.

has your coffee order memorized so when ur staying up all night studying u have the energy to do so.

will sneak a protein bar and a water bottle in ur locker the day after those binge studying sessions to ensure that you’re you know okay.

[hoe-doroki]

Can I have a bakugou smut where he had just come home from a hard day and he needs to blow off some steam and the reader has been horny all day so she/they do whatever he says. Sorry if this was long, it's ok if you don't do it. Thank you 🙏❤

Omg, not too long at all! Seriously, for requests for me, generally the more details the better, especially for what kinks you may or may not like, because then I can better cater it to you! Since you didn’t specify, you’re stuck with choking, degradation, and exhibitionism, because I like them, oops. Sorry it’s taken me so long to write this—I’ve been so excited about it the whole time but…there’s no but, I just didn’t write it until now 🤷‍♀️

minors do not interact

warnings: 18+, exhibitionism, degradation, choking, biting/marking, slight possessiveness

wc: 3.1k

a/n: Thanks to @dymphnasprose for making this gorgeous banner for me!

edit: I no longer write x reader but here’s my old masterlist - mobile | desktop

You heard him before you saw him.

It was the ding of the elevator that was first audible from the dining room table where you were working on your computer. Then you heard the heavy clomp of Katsuki’s boots coming down the hallway, already painting a picture of a frustrating day on the job.

When he shouldered his way in the front door, you saw that he was still in his full hero uniform. The roots of his hair were dark with sweat and Katsuki’s ire seemed to have made it all the way down to his fingertips, where he was clumsily batting at his shoelaces. As if anger and a glare would force them undone quicker than a nimble touch.

“Rough day?” you commented, standing up from the dark mahogany table and walking over to your boyfriend. Your hands were on your hips as you looked down at where he was bent over in the entryway.

He grunted as he cast his boot off. If he were outside, that shoe would have been flung halfway down the block, possibly with smoke coming off it. Inside your home, however, even the angriest Katsuki could only manage an angry shove before moving onto his next obstacle.

You didn’t press for more. You just watched as the second boot came off and your boyfriend stood up, knees cracking. He probably hadn’t so much as stretched at the end of his shift. He looked wound tight in every way, from his clenching fingers to the tension scrunching his face.

“Fucking cops stole the villain from under my nose,” Katsuki said.

The kitchen was just a few steps away, so you filled a glass of water and offered it to him. He downed it in a few gulps and was probably just a couple measures of force short from breaking the glass as he smacked it back down on the counter.

“But they were captured?” you asked. “That’s good.”

“The only good thing about it is that now they’re the ones that have to do the paperwork,” Katsuki growled. “I told fucking five-head that if I’m not needed, I might as well come home.”

Five-head was the name Katsuki used for his manager—with a deeply receding hairline—at the agency. Fortunately, Katsuki had only let the nickname slip to the guy’s face…a handful of times.

“Sounds like a rough day,” you said as Katsuki took his gauntlets off, treating them with more care than he had his boots. “You know, I’ve been a little bit…frustrated today too.”

Katsuki’s eyes, piercing when outlined by the dark cling of his mask, flicked towards you, hearing your intentionally placed drawl immediately. “That so?”

His tone was suspicious. Maybe it should have been, by the upward pull on your lips as you leaned in close to him, stroking his arm, still hot and damp from a day on patrol.

“Yeah.” You pouted, making your tone intentionally whiny as you blinked big, round eyes at him. “Or do you not remember this morning?”

That morning had been on your mind all fucking day. Katsuki’s alarm had woken you up, as it always did, and after the ringing had faded from your ears, your body had honed in on a different sense. Specifically, the morning wood that had been pressing hard against your ass. The boner that you’d wiggled back against, moaning as you trailed your fingers up and down your boyfriend’s arm—not unlike you were right now. Katsuki had kissed you on the cheek, and then on the mouth, and you’d expected a quickie before work. You’d felt yourself growing wet at the possibility, your cheeks heating at his touch.

But then he’d pulled away and left the room before you could so much as whimper in protest. It was like he hadn’t even noticed. Like his dick hadn’t been the one to start it.

You watched the memory from many hours ago work its way onto Katsuki’s face. An eyebrow rose—you could tell even from under the mask—and a low fire lit behind his eyes. “That?”

You leaned into his ear, latching yourself around his side so that your thigh just brushed against his groin and whispered, “I’ve been thinking about it all day.”

“Always so fucking desperate for me, huh?” Katsuki rasped, grabbing your thigh with his gloved hand and wrapping your leg around his waist. “You’re lucky I’m not cooled down yet.”

When his lips met yours, they were aggressive, pent up. You could taste the salt of forgotten trails of sweat that had run from his mask down his lips. He smelled manly with it, and smoky from his quirk.

“I’m gonna fuck you so hard you forget about this morning,” Katsuki said roughly before digging his teeth into your neck.

“All talk?” you asked your voice coming out as a gasp.

You were met with Katsuki placing both of his large hands on your ass, pressing your core against his hardening length. The pants on his hero costume were loose enough that he had room to grow and tent—or he would, if you weren’t grinding down on him without any pretense hiding your desperation.

Then, he let go of you. His hands were gone from your ass, mouth abandoning your neck. Without his support, you stumbled back, looking at him in confusion.

Katsuki, however, was grinning at you, lips shiny and flushed pink. “Strip for me, baby.”

After Katsuki’s inadvertent tease that morning, you hadn’t been able to help yourself and had dressed a little sexier than usual. You weren’t going to let Katsuki ignore you this time around.

You took off your clothes piece by piece, your eyes lingering on the garments and then flicking up to Katsuki, taking him in as he unzipped his pants and pulled his fat cock out. He stroked himself until you were left in nothing but a matching bra and panty set. Both were orange, matching the X over his chest and the palms of the gloves he’d just slapped to the floor.

“Fuck, baby,” he growled, taking a step toward you, hand never leaving his cock, “this is just what I needed.”

You were prepared to drop to your knees, stretch your mouth around that juicy cock, already glistening with precum right at the tip. Katsuki followed your gaze and caught your chin with just one finger, forcing your eyes up to his.

“There’s no need for that, sweetness,” he said. “Apparently, you’ve been patient all day. So if you’re a good girl and do what I say, you can have this cock right away. How’s that sound?”

“Good,” you said, nodding eagerly.

“Right answer,” Katsuki said, moving his hand to run his thumb under the band of your bra. His hand was feathering over the clasp when, suddenly, he snapped the elastic, earning a yelp out of you. “Now fucking strip.”

You removed your bra in a hurry, then your panties, leaving yourself totally bare to Katsuki’s roving eyes. Meanwhile, he was still dressed in the entirety of his hero costume, save for his boots, gloves and gauntlets. The spikes behind his mask were still in place, as was his belt. The only thing unusual was his thick cock hanging out of those black pants.

“Good girl,” Katsuki whispered. “Now be a good little slut and open the curtains.”

You stared at Katsuki for a moment. The windows took up the whole wall, floor to ceiling of your main living space. You lived near the top of your building—with the curtains open, you would barely be visible to the street, unless someone had a zoom quirk. But there were neighboring skyscrapers that would offer a view right into your apartment.

However, Katsuki didn’t have patience to spare today.

“I’ll go into our room and cum on my fucking hand if you don’t open the curtains.”

His eyes were stern, but not hard. Behind his mask, there was enough openness that you knew if you said your safe word he’d pull you into him, apologize into your neck just loud enough for you to hear, and make love to you slowly in missionary on your bed with all the windows drawn.

But this wasn’t a missionary kind of day.

You cocked your chin and walked past the leather couch and dining table over to the window. The curtains were drawn so that there wouldn’t be a glare on your laptop, but now you opened them, slowly but steadily. On your high floor, the afternoon sun was on the same plane as you. It was catching those late afternoon shades of bright orange that draped you in strands of golden luxe.

“You like that?” Katsuki asked when you looked over your shoulder, looking perhaps a little too self-satisfied. “You like everyone seeing what a slut you are? How fucking gorgeous you are?”

You could only moan as Katsuki came up behind you, catching your bare breasts in both hands and rocking his cock against your ass, just like that morning, but without the separation of your clothes.

“The thing is, sweetheart,” Katsuki whispered between kisses on your already bruising neck, “if anyone’s gonna see you like this, they’re gonna haveta see that you belong to me.”

One of Katsuki’s hands drifted back to his cock and slid it between your legs, through the stickiness that was already clinging to your thighs. He kicked your legs wider to make room for himself, thrusting between your pussy lips, forcing you to lean forward against the window for leverage. His dick dragged against your clit very intentionally, pulling groans out of you as your hips naturally rocked with his.

“So wet already,” Katsuki commented. “You really have been desperate for my cock all day, haven’t you? Did you touch yourself waiting for me?”

You’d thought about it. When Katsuki had left and you’d still felt that initial heat between your legs, you’d considered pulling out your wand and cumming against its rumbly, reliable vibrations. Your fingers had been itching for it, pussy craving the speedy finish it would provide.

“No,” you whined. “I didn’t.”

“Good girl.”

Your forehead fell against the window, eyes closed in the bright sunlight as the meaty head of his cock began to split you open.

“This what you wanted?”

“Yes,” you breathed, leaning your head against his shoulder, closing your eyes as he sunk into you. He claimed to be rewarding you for your patience all day, yet was going slow enough for you to feel every inch. You squeezed around him purposefully, trying to suck him in faster. He acted like he didn’t notice.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” Katsuki said when he finally bottomed out. He sat there for a moment, kissing your neck as you continued to flutter hopelessly around him. Then he pulled out and rammed back into you in one go, nearly knocking the wind out of you.

Katsuki cackled, squeezing the meat of your thighs in both hands as he pounded into you. “Do you really think I’d do this for everyone to see if I was going to do anything less than fuck your brains out?”

All that powerlessness that Katsuki had felt at work was now being turned around into sheer might—metabolized frustration being taken out on your poor pussy. He hadn’t been able to capture that villain, but now he had you in his clutches. That unutilized strength was forcing your breasts and one cheek flat against the glass as he let your body have it.

“Katsuki,” you whined. “More.”

“So desperate and needy today, aren’t we sweetness?” Katsuki said, driving his hips forward even harder. You could feel one of the grenades on his belt smacking dangerously against your ass. It was like Dynamight had found you on the street and dragged you down a back alley to fuck while on patrol. “Lucky for you, you’re asking for something I want too.”

You’d riled something up in Katsuki. In a mood like this, he might use you, cream his cock deep inside you and let you think that he was gonna leave you like that for a good few minutes before finishing you off on his tongue or his fingers, or going another round. But it seemed as though you’d just managed to maneuver yourself onto his good side today. He wanted the satisfaction of you squeezing around him, milking his cum out of him at least once.

One of Katsuki’s hands crept up your side until it reached your neck, gripping around it but not yet pressing in. His lips were on your ear, biting your lobe before whispering, “Is this what you wanted?”

“Yes.”

The end of the word came out as a hiss as Katsuki’s thick fingers closed around your throat. His other hand crept to the front of your pubic bone, flattening the hair there as the tip of his pinky reached just above your clit. Intentionally not making contact under the guise of just being able to hold you closer to his driving hips.

Your face grew hot as Katsuki pressed against your windpipe, against the veins so that you felt your throttled heartbeat begin its desperate dance. As your breath grew short, everything became sharper. Katsuki’s cock hitting right against your g-spot suddenly hit less like sparks and more like a thick stroke of fire with every go.

“You like that, huh?” Katsuki taunted as he pulled your neck against his shoulder, his thumb and middle finger nearly meeting behind your neck. “You like me fucking choking you for the world to see? So everyone can see what a dirty whore you are?”

It wasn’t like you could respond with his hand that tight around your throat. You could do little more than whimper, the vibrations buzzing against the rough calluses on his palm.

“Heh, that’s what I fucking thought.”

The power trip only seemed to be stoking Katsuki’s spirit as he pounded you unabashedly in the window. You were bracing yourself with one forearm but used the other to rest on top of the hand he had just over your sex. You just wanted to urge him just a few more millimeters south. A few blessed moments of contact on your aching clit would tip you over the edge, you were sure. But Katsuki only pushed you forward, trapping your hand and his against the cold glass, condensation framing around your hot touch.

“Sorry, sweetheart,” he said, his voice low and so far from apologetic. “I thought it was this cock you were so desperate for? And here I am, already so generous with my hand on your beautiful throat. ‘S that not enough for you or something?”

It wasn’t, and he knew it. His cock hitting your sweet spot and his hand keeping you just on this side of passed out would edge you from now until eternity. It would leave you burning in your core, dripping down your thighs, and desperate to cum until your dying breath. But it would never have you squeezing around him, never falling boneless against his chest. Not if he didn’t touch you.

Just when you were giving up, just when you were able to focus on little more than your head growing light, your vision narrowing on the blades of orange light on the buildings in front of you, Katsuki’s last three fingers came together, threading through your fuzz before they swiped furiously over your clit.

You jerked forward so hard Katsuki lost his grip on your neck, allowing you to cry out full throated as your orgasm took over, crashing into you with more power than you’d felt in months. Air felt like water as you gasped, nonsense falling from your lips as your thighs shook and Katsuki wrapped his now free hand around your waist to keep you upright.

Your raucous orgasm had Katsuki was groaning too, barely leaving your cunt as the last couple thrusts urged his seed out of him, painting your walls before you were done quivering yourself. Your cheek was flat against the glass as Katsuki leaned his forehead against you, breathing heavily once his orgasm had washed over him.

“Shit, how’s a guy not supposed to bust when you do that,” he said, slipping out of you and placing a chaste kiss on your shoulder. “Clamping around me like a fucking vice and screaming like that. If the neighbors didn’t see you, they sure fucking heard you.”

You might have mindlessly apologized, if you weren’t still struggling to get your breath back under you, your own recovery taking much longer than Katsuki’s. You felt him leave your back, your eyes blinking open to see the translucent reflection of him leaving the window as the sun fell behind one of the city’s many skyscrapers.

A moment later, you felt a washcloth between your legs, swiping at the combined cum that was already dribbling down your thigh. The cloth slowly trailed up and you shivered when Katsuki softly swiped it over your too sensitive pussy. Then the washcloth was gone from his hands and he was on your shoulders, gently kneading out the tension there as you lolled your head side to side to stretch.

“God, I needed that,” Katsuki said quietly. “You alright?”

“Yeah, that was amazing,” you replied, your voice raspy but dreamy as you began your slow descent back to Earth.

“Course it was.”

You turned around, raising an unamused eyebrow at Katsuki’s smirk and then walked back over to the corner of the room to pull the blinds back in place. Now that your lust was receding, you had no interest in flashing your tits and wrecked pussy to the neighbors.

“God, I need to take a fucking shower,” Katsuki said as he started dismantling his costume, starting with his mask. He hardly seemed to notice as he took off his neck brace and then his tank that he was giving you the exact same kind of strip tease that you’d given him just a few minutes ago.

“A shower?” you asked coquettishly as you sidled over to the dining table he was placing his costume onto. “Might there be room for two in this shower?”

“No,” Katsuki answered quickly, placing his grenades one by one on his shirt so they wouldn’t roll away. He didn’t so much as glance at you.

“No?”

Katsuki looked serious as he kept his eyes focused on his task, bending down to unstrapping his knee pads. When he stood up straight again, his grin was devilish.

“I think I like it better when you’re frustrated.”

[lifewithdavefarts]

DaveFarts - Episode 13 “When She Finally Leaves” [Episode List] Dana spends the whole day at Dave’s place. When the girl leaves, Tim, who’s now Dave’s roommate, finds out how much gas a man can hold in just to not look gross in front of a girl.

When She Finally Leaves

In the last few weeks I’ve been spending more and more nights at Dave’s place, whether because I needed a place to work, write my essays, or simply to spend some quality time watching bad films and drinking beer. It was Dave himself to ask me to “marry him” (as he jokingly put it), basically becoming official roommates, which also meant dividing our tasks and obviously splitting the rent.

And honestly we were having a great time. We both had jobs, fortunately, which were not much but they did pay taxes for now and it was overall a great experience. Friend or not, Dave is an excellent roommate, being pretty good at cooking and organising chores; the same could be said for me actually, though in some cases we have our own preferences; for example Dave prefers cooking (the fact that I’m bad at it it’s purely coincidental) so we agreed I’ll be the one doing the dishes.

We also had our buds crashing over what is now *our* place a couple of times, which resulted in more bad films and beer, or even nerd stuff such as gaming together. Of course however, the person who most often came over is obviously Dana, Dave’s girlfriend. She’s pretty cool though we don’t really hang out with her when Dave’s not around, though as I said she’s pretty easy-going.

Tonight we’ve been watching a trash movie. Yes, the three of us. Don’t worry, I was a welcome addition today. Dave would usually just tell me to leave for a few hours if sex was on the table (sometimes literally on the table, the one where we eat our food…) as we respect each others enough to just be straightforward whenever we needed some privacy. Tonight however it was just chilling like three friends hanging out together (knowing however that Dave would just give me a signal should things get more heated up you know).

We were in the living room. I was on an armchair, working on my laptop, despite the poor wi-fi. On the long wide couch beside me, Dave and Dana chilling and watching the movie with more attention than me, my bud’s left arm around his girlfriend, sometimes making remarks on how bad it was. We all had a can of beer, because of course we did.

The couple brought some takeouts for dinner, some fast-food a few blocks from here (Dana’s idea, actually, which we were both thankful for). Dave, chilling next to Dana, was wearing his signature casual outfit: a grey shirt and pair of dark blue loose jeans, details that my gay-ass eyes immediately noticed and more than once stared at.

“Oh wow the helicopter just blew up I’m speechless.” Dave said, sarcastically.

“A Subversive Masterpiece: that’s what they were going for when they wrote this.” Dana added, and they both chuckled.

I also did my fair share of sarcastic remarks though work got most of my attention, even though it was nothing urgent, just me trying to get some stuff done as fast as possible.

“Did the shark just wink at him?” my bro commented.

“They’re best friends now.” his girlfriend explained. What a great film.

After 15 more minutes the movie ended with the three of us clapping at a shot of a man and a shark exchanging a look of gratitude to each other, as the Sun set into the never-ending ocean. Drugs played a big role into the making of this move I’m 100% sure.

“Well, that was enlightening, but I gotta head back home. The Uber’s almost here.” Dana said, as she got up and reached for her purse and some other stuff.

“You’re really sure about that? Come on, stay here for the night.” Dave suggested. “I taught Tim to play dead. We can throw food at him.” he then joked.

“I can also bring you the newspaper upstairs, tomorrow morning.” I played along.

Dana chuckled in response. “I’m sure you’ll win the next contest you two, but I gotta wake up super early tomorrow.”

The couple walked towards the front door. The entrance was next to the living room, a few steps behind the couch. Dave and I sometimes darkly joked that any assassin could easily ambush us because whenever we’re on the couch anyone could sneak into the house behind us, with enough care (we then prefer to drink about it).

“Call me when you get home.” Dave said and the two shared a quick kiss.

In the meantime I moved on the bigger (and more comfortable) couch, more or less in Dana’s spot, as I also have better wi-fi reception there. I left my laptop on the small table in front of me because apparently all of my laptops have to be shitty and take some time to even the most basic stuff. As I inspected the wi-fi icon flashing on the screen, I heard Dave shutting the door and walking back to the couch. After a few steps his tall figure was already towering over me.

“Yeah the reception is pretty bad lately.” he commented, and then collapsed next to me.

Only a few seconds and he already had that well-known smirk drawn on his face; he then quickly adjusted his position. He completely laid down, extended his demin-clad legs, with his left one resting on the back of the couch, ending right behind my neck. In a moment, Dave ended up showing off his loose, almost-sagging jeans-clad ass directly next to me, as his legs trapped me into a gentle yet strong grip. Seeing both that “wall” made of jeans and my bro’s smirk at the same time was a sight I never truly got used to. He was just lying there, next to me, with his ass pointed at me, as if it was one big prank, even though he knew exactly how much I enjoyed that.

“Bro you’re ready?” he asked, still sporting that smirk.

When even Dave goes as far as asking me if I’m ready, then I knew that the fart was going to be gargantuan. And I realized why: Dana has been with us and my bro the entire day, so it’s possible that Dave just held all of his gas in for hours. We all experienced this, then when the girl leaves, men get to “relax”. Other than that, Dave had tons of beer and junk food. I stared at that denim butt, for the first time almost scared of what my bud was capable of; I knew a fart was coming, and I knew it was going to be big.

But what Dave said next really once again confirmed how chill he is around me.

“Believe me: you might want to get closer for this one.” he said, laughing a bit.

He sported weirdly reassuring smile, Dave’s millionth attempt at saying “It’s ok, Tim.” as he probably noticed now nervous I became when he assumed that pose.

The teasing bastard then went full bully on me and simply reached for my head with his long right arm and gently pulled me down, as if I was bowing to that still silent denim-clad ass. I just heard him laugh like an idiot, as it usually happens. Despite my head being down and in front of that ass, I could still see Dave’s face and that smirk. He raised his eyebrows and half-closed his eyes as he started pushing, but he didn’t need to put all that effort into ripping that blast.

It’s like the fart was barely contained in the first place: it immediately exploded with a loud sound right into my face. Dave closed his eyes and kept his smirk as the blast probably surprised him as well. It was low-pitched and dry, a completely natural gas-eruption that sounded like an engine. The stench was unbearable, a mixture of beer and junk food, surprise to no one.

While farting, Dave adjusted his position as bit, spreading his legs bit more, with my face getting almost planted into that denim-clad butt as he effortlessly kept ripping that immense flatulence. Hours and hours of gas being erupted as if I was in front of a dormant volcano that just woke up. And I feared that “hours” was what he was going for ‘cause after 20 seconds the fart didn’t even lose power.

Dave still had this smirk drawn on his face and occasionally stared down at me as he completely destroyed my face and nose with his incredible farting skills, skills that constantly let me speechless, fetish or not. He was the fart master, a showoff with a manly talent that I could only bow to and endure in the hop-

“Sorry, I forgot my house keys.”

The fart immediately stopped and it all went silent: It was Dana.

Dave turned his head to his girlfriend, greeting her with the stupidest smile you can think of.

“Oh stay there no worries, they’re right here.” I heard Dana say as she reached for keys, probably hanging right next to the door, my face still almost planted in my friend’s denim ass. That felt surreal.

I completely froze (not that I could move) but I knew that she couldn’t see me (just like I couldn’t see her) as I was lying down. All she could see from where she was standing was Dave’s head and his right leg resting on the back of the couch, since the entrance was behind our couch.

I was terrified, while Dave was doing his best not laugh like an idiot.

“What’s so funny?” Dana asked, laughing a bit herself, definitely noticing her boyfriend being weird.

My teasing bro quickly glanced down at me, almost losing it (and still holding holding the fart in, which didn’t stop the smell from burning my nostrils).

“N-nothing’” he stuttered. That’s it, he was gonna laugh like an idiot.

“Okay” I heard Dana, not really convinced of the boyfriend’s answer though.

There was a moment of awkward silence and then we heard a car honk, thank goodness.

“Oh… it’s my Uber. Bye!” the girl said, quickly leaving the house and shutting the door behind her.

Another moment of silence followed, Dave still staring at the entrance. I was shaking, I was legitimately scared that someone was gonna find out, which was weird given the hotness I was experiencing in that moment, even without the fart being ripped.

“Ok… where were we?” Dave asked, turning back to me, with a smirk. “Oh yeah!”

And he effortlessly resumed farting, just as loud, proud and powerful as it was before the interruption, directly into my face. The terror I experienced moments before was blown away by that incredibly blast and me being rock-hard, as it usually happens when Dave showoffs his gassy talent around me, or on me.

Dozens of seconds passed and at this point Dave just played along. He nodded at me, faking a serious expression, as if he was listening to something actually interesting instead of his own loud fart still going on strong; after about ten more seconds he checked the time on his wrist-watch and acted surprised, then stared down at me as if he wanted to say “damn that is long!”. We both however actually lost the track of time and he simply relaxed as if I wasn’t even in front of his ass, all while the fart was still being blasted in my face.

Dave then reached for my head again and gently pushed it inches closer to his roaring ass, and I felt the vibrations of his rip all over my face: it was literally an earthquake.

How long was it lasting? More than 1 minute perhaps? How much gas can a man hold in? Dave certainly was pushing for a record. All I knew is that I felt privileged witnessing that, even though I was beyond being a mere witness since no particle of gas missed my eyes and nostrils.

However (finally, actually), the fart seemingly started to lose power, the once-continuous sound starting to “stutter” and turning more into a fast series of loud farts, fired back-to-back. The show (because that’s what it was: a show) ended with a loud, 5 seconds blast, and Dave’s laughter.

I slowly got up, sweaty, my nose burning, with a startled look to which my bro reacted with another immature cackle. I was now sitting next to him as I was before, and looked back at my bud, who in the meantime re-adjusted his pose. He was still lying down, still kind of showing off his loose-sagging ass, but in a less “menacing” way: now he was just chilling.

“When’s Dana coming over again?” I joked. I mustered all the courage I had left to say that. I was impressed by the fact that I could still speak considering that all of my blood probably flooded my boner at that point.

Dave laughed at that lame joke, thank goodness. “As if I need Dana to blast you like this.”

He raised one leg, again showing off his sagging denim ass in my direction. He quickly sucked some air in and after a few moments and weird noises a loud 6 seconds fart erupted. For his standards, that’s basically a weak one.

My friend just casually joking and bragging about facefarting me and then farting on command to prove it made me lose it, as I felt my boner… dampening. He didn’t notice it but he knew that I had a hard-on, that’s for sure.

I didn’t want to just rush into the bathroom so I just stared at my laptop, still on the table, in front of me: the wi-fi signal was stronger than ever. I jokingly like to think that Dave’s blast was so powerful it actually influenced the signal somehow and improved it.

I turned to my bud, still lying on his side of the couch, just checking his phone and being… casually hot.

“Thanks man.” I said, not for the wi-fi though.

He lowered his phone, revealing a blank reaction “Really?” he said, rolling his eyes, with a bored expression. “Stop being cringe and do the dishes.”

Fuck, I totally forgot about those. We had takeout food but we still used some of our dishes. I immediately got up and rushed to the kitchen, hoping that Dave was distracted by his phone enough to not notice by boner through my sweatpants.

Once in the kitchen, a place that wasn’t tainted by Dave’s gas, my nostrils could still feel my bro’s fart-stench. That’s how soaked up in his gas I was. Even my ears needed some time to adjust to the silence, now that I didn’t have a deafening fart being ripped right into my skull. 

And I just knew that this wasn’t the last time this was gonna happen. I’m Dave’s roommate, and being roomies means we have to divide our tasks: he’s the farter, I’m the sniffer.

End of Episode 13

[hispipsqueak]

Happy New Year

Bakugo x F! Pregnant Reader Fluff

Summary:

You and Bakugo have been keeping a secret, and plan to reveal it at your New Year’s Party.

A/N: Here’s some sweet fluff to end the year. I have a soft spot for Dad!Bakugo and had to write something adorable for him. I hope you enjoy it and your new year is full of happiness and love! Also, I had to look up so much stuff about pregnancy. I hope no one finds my search history :P

TW: Pregnancy. mild cursing. Otherwise, super mega fluffy!

“Why do they have to come over?!” Bakugo grumbled for the thirtieth time. 

You looked up from the pan you were currently scrubbing. 

“Katsuki...they’re our friends! Plus, we are going to announce the big news.” You looked down at your small baby bump.

You and Bakugo had found out you were going to be parents nearly 5 months ago and you both were extremely excited. You had waited to tell everyone until it was deemed safe by your doctor and with the new year approaching, you figured it would be easy to gather everyone you loved to spill the news.

Of course, Bakugo was going to make it difficult though. 

You knew he was just as excited as you about the addition to your little family, but whereas you were open about discussing all your fears, thoughts, and anxieties, Bakugo was a little more closed off and channeled the extra stress into other things.

You went back to washing the dishes and felt your husband’s biceps wrap around your body, his hands softly resting on your belly. He nuzzled into your neck.

“We could just send a text and stay in together. Watch the fireworks from the balcony, relax. Plus, are you sure you want those loud idiots stressing you and the baby out?” He murmured into your ear.

You giggled and swatted him with the dish rag. 

“I literally live with a walking explosion and you’re worried our friends are too loud? I mean sure, maybe Present Mic, but I doubt he doesn’t already have plans.” You trailed off, before he spun you around and lifted you up, bridal style.

“That’s enough, off to bed with you mama. You’re too snappy tonight and clearly not thinking straight.” He chuckled as you squealed into his chest.

“‘Tsuki, you’re so annoying!” You laughed as he gently tossed you into bed.

He crawled on top of you, pressing your body into the soft mattress and mountains of pillows you insisted on sleeping with.

“I may be annoying, but I’m also the father of this little brat inside you.” He muttered, vermillion eyes shining. You smiled up at him.

He had grown up a lot since your UA days. While he still had his hot-headed moments, he was playful and more considerate of your feelings and you knew he was going to be an amazing father. He even changed his screensaver on his phone to your sonogram, though he would never admit it. 

“We’re gonna have fun, babe. It’s gonna be a good night with all our friends and we can finally be open about the baby. Plus, it’d be nice for our kid to meet all their aunts and uncles.” You grinned, thinking of how your friends would react to this.

Katsuki groaned, rolling over. “Kiri is gonna fucking cry, I know it.” 

You laughed and curled up next Bakugo. 

“Yeah...probably.”

-------

New Year’s Eve was finally here. You had been busy preparing everything for the party tonight and your heart fluttered at the idea of sharing your big news with everyone. Bakugo had to finish up some last minute stuff at the agency so he was going to be home right before the party began. You were pulling another tray of baked sweets out of the oven when your phone chirped.

You glanced over to see another message from your group chat with the girls.

Mina: Can’t wait to see you Y/N, I MISS YOU

Momo: Are you sure you don’t need us to bring anything? We don’t want to be bad guests.

Ochaco: We can also help set up if you need us to! 

Y/N: I’m totally fine. Katsuki arranged for food to be delivered and Sero and Kirishima are picking up all the drinks for tonight. Just bring yourselves!

Y/N: Also yes, before you ask, I am making cookies.

Mina: HECK YES! :)

They started arranging transportation plans and you clicked your phone off, to focus on transferring the cookies onto a cooling tray. Once that was settled, you jogged upstairs to get dressed. Luckily, you weren’t really showing yet so your friends wouldn’t immediately know when you greeted them, but you still wanted to wear something loose and flowy.

You settled on a deep red dress that cinched right under your chest and opened in an A-line skirt. You rifled through your jewelry box until you found the necklace Katsuki had given you for your birthday. It was a large black teardrop shaped diamond on a simple thin silver chain. You reached behind your back to clasp the necklace and felt a warm hand enclose yours.

“I didn’t even hear you come in.” You smiled looking at your husband in the mirror. He finished attaching your necklace and met your eyes. 

“I just got here. The food’s here too, so everything’s done. I just need to get dressed.” He said, twirling you around so you were facing him. He rubbed your tiny bump. “How’s the brat been today?”

“Surprisingly chill. Though the baby did require a couple pints of ice cream for breakfast.” You laughed.

“Uh-huh...blame it on the baby.” He chuckled and gave you a kiss on your forehead. You could smell the scent of his body wash, a spicy cinnamon musk combined with his natural caramel scent. He must have showered at the agency and you buried your face in his chest, enveloping yourself in him.

“Stop sniffing me like a dog, crazy woman.” He flicked you on the head and you pouted. He crouched down so he could kiss your belly.

“I’m sorry your mama is nuts.” He laughed before pressing his lips to your stomach. 

You smiled. Though you were excited to tell your friends about the news, you kind of loved having this little secret just between you two. These moments, with just you, Bakugo, and the baby, were magical and felt so...pure. Untainted from anything.

-----

“We’re HERE!” Mina’s voice echoed through your entryway. She was dressed in a gold sparkly jumpsuit and her aura just screamed “Happy New Year”. She was followed by Momo, dressed in a sparkly green dress and Tsu, who wore yellow sundress. Soon the door opened again and Ochaco was ushered in by Deku. You grinned at her blushing face. Her and Deku had finally admitted their feelings for each other after years of pining and they were adorable together. She had on a cute pink knee-length dress that matched Deku’s tie, which contrasted nicely against the dark teal suit he wore.

The rest of your friends piled in slowly afterwards, with Sero and Kirishima carrying cases of booze. You had made sure to stock your house with plenty of non-alcoholic drinks as well but you knew the rest of your friends planned to party hard, since it was rare to all get together.

Once everyone made it in, and Iida stopped arm chopping at Denki for some unknown broken social rule, Kirishima raised his beer.

“Can we just toast to Y/N and Bakubro, for hosting this party? It feels like a million years since I’ve seen you guys.”

You giggled and looked at your husband. He rolled his eyes and looked at you nodding. You turned back to the group.

“Actually, we invited you here because of something else…” You looked down at your belly, and heard gasps.

“ARE YOU…?”

“You’re…?”

“Wait what…?”

Bakugo looked exasperated with the suspense.

“We’re having a baby, idiots.”

A loud cheer erupted from your friends and immediately you were swarmed by the girls, asking a million questions. The guys were clapping Bakugo on the back and as expected Kirishima was already tearing up.

“So manly bro. You’re gonna be the manliest dad!” He sobbed while squeezing Bakugo in a tight hug. Sero and Denki snickered watching this. 

“Get off of me idiot. I’m not the pregnant one.” Bakugo growled trying to pry the redhead off him. Kirishima turned to you and started hugging you tightly. 

“I’m so proud of you guys!”

“You’re proud of them for —”

A ribbon of tape wrapped itself around Kaminari’s mouth before he could finish his sentence. You threw a grateful look toward Sero, who grinned over his beer.

The rest of the night turned into an impromptu baby shower, with everyone fawning over you two. You were asked a zillion questions, everyone offered to babysit, and even Todoroki offered his quirk if you ever needed pain relief (which Bakugo immediately shot down).

“I can take care of my own wife, IcyHot Bastard.” He grunted through his teeth. You smacked Bakugo upside the head before apologizing to Todoroki. You placed your hand back to rest on your belly and felt a small flutter. 

“Holy shit...babe!” You’re mouth dropped. Immediately, the room went quiet and Bakugo rushed to your side. 

“What, what’s wrong??!” He placed his hand on your stomach and his eyes widened.

“The baby...the baby’s kicking.” You smiled, eyes pricking with tears. The two of you looked at each other and you could see tears threatening to spill from your husband’s eyes. He grabbed your face in his hands and kissed you deeply, seeming to forget where he was.

“I love you, I love you both so goddamn much” He whispered to you, before kissing you again. 

“Bro, you’re gonna make her have twins!” Kaminari yelled out, before being smacked in the head by both Mina and Kirishima. You giggled and pulled your husband close to you, before he blasted his friend out of the house. 

“Guys, it’s almost midnight!” Momo said looking at her watch. “Ten…”

“Nine…”

“Eight…”

You looked around at all your cheering friends.

“Seven…”

“Six…”

You looked at your husband, who gave you a soft smile back.

“Five…”

“Four…”

You looked down at your baby bump.

“Three...two...one.”

“Happy New Year!”

[heliosthegriffin]

The Adventures of Shota Jaune

Arthur Arc always knew his son was going to be special, it had been seven daughters straight that the Brothers had given him, he was due for a son. Good things come to those who hold strong and have faith.

His son would be amazing.

It was a given!

He didn’t expect how right he was.

How was he suppose to know his son would come out of the womb glowing like a disco ball!

The nurses were running around, his wife was crying, and Arthur had dick all of an idea what was going on.

Arthur winced has the doctor doctor cradled his broken hand while being escorted out of the room, all Arthur had seen was a flash of light and a cry of pain, before a nurse caught his falling son.

Now Arthur held his glowing baby boy as his wife was being loaded up with Morphine wanting to now what’s wrong with her baby.

Shit’s fucked.

Arthur looked at his baby boy.

“Your name is Jaune Arc,” The baby slept in his arms. “you’re going to be a trouble maker aren’t you? Well, that’s fine, we have plenty of trouble makers in the family. You’re going to fit right in.”

And so the Arcs were once again black-listed from another hospital, and Baby Jaune Arc had already broken a man’s hand.

-----------

Four year’s Later....

Arthur walked groggily to his son’s room, light bleeding from underneath the door.

It was midnight he should be asleep.

His son’s giggling told him otherwise.

He opened the door and called out to him. “Jaune, it’s midnight. Why did you turn your lights on?”

His son turn his head to him looking embarrassed as several floating orbs of light rotated around him.

Arthur felt his jaw drop. When could he do that?!

“Sorry, I just couldn’t sleep. I’ll go to bed soon.”

Arthur felt the words on in one ear and out the other, had his son found his semblance? 

“Jaune, what are those lights?” Arthur said weakly to his son.

Jaune looked confused for a moment looking around. “I didn’t turn on lights, though,” Then his expression brightened, literally as a orb went pass his face. “Oh that! You said I could have lights on at bedtime, and sometimes I got scared, so my Orra would make me flashy flash, but that just made more shadows. So, I tried to to make my Orra bigger, but it wouldn’t so I tried to make it move over the shadows, and it did!”

Arthur watched in fascination as the globes orbited around his son. His son really was special. This was beyond basic Aura manipulation, this was beyond anything an expert could do. Darkness be damned, even Arthur himself prided himself on his aura control couldn’t doing anything half as intricate as this!

“How did you get it to move like that? Your Aura that is?” Curiosity bled into his voice. It stung his pride a little bit to ask his son tips on Aura manipulation, but his pride as a father and his own want to know how won out.

Jaune looked at his father confused. “I just did?”

Arthur looked at his son patiently. “Could you show me how to then?”

“Um, ok.” His son said reluctantly. 

Arthur watched his son carefully, activating his aura and having it circulated into his eyes to be able to see his son on a auric level.

Arthur flinched back in shock and nearly blind.

His son had so much damn aura! It was like looking at the freaking sun at high noon.

Arthur could barely even see his son’s figure through the light, a barely visible shadow in the midst of a bonfire of pure white light that danced and waved on currents that could not be understood even by a expert like himself. Light filled the room and a revelation hit Arthur. He himself was under his son’s aura, the entire damn house was!

Even outside the room he could see the currents of his son’s brilliant aura circulating around the house and even leaking into the wood and stone! He was reinforcing the house, and it was even being absorbed into his own aura and he hadn’t even noticed.

His son had been subconsciously leaking aura and he hadn’t notice at all! It was so invasive and overwhelmingly aggressive, but deviously subtle that it took a hold on everything it was near.

His son was a walking talking breathing, Aura reactor. No wonder he lit like a disco-ball when he was born, no wonder he fired off the occasional flare of aura, no wonder his all of his sister had awakened their aura, no wonder the fucking cat did too!

His son was enhancing everything around him, Arthur himself hadn’t even questioned why his own reserves had enlarged, his son did it.

It was a open knowledge that reserves just increase with time and practice, but his had nearly doubled over the last four years.

Arthur shut down his Aura Sight, any more and it might give him damage his control.

Arthur no longer needed an explanation as to why his son could create light-balls. It was easy enough explanation to himself, he was just separating dense sections of aura and have them follow the auric currents he created.

Arthur knew what he had to do now, his wife was going to kill him for it, but Jaune not mastering his talents would be the graver sin.

“Jaune do you want to be a huntsmen like your dad?”

Arthur frantically cover his eyes as his son squealed and flash-banged him with happiness.

Even through his aura he could feel a sun-burn, well aura-burn, forming.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

-----------

One year later....

Arthur’s eye’s twitched as his wife tried to get his son off the hill he made out of his sisters unconscious bodys.

“Jaune, please come down, they’re your sisters.” Victoria said trying to coax they son down.

“NO!” Jaune said with a stomp, pained groan coming from the sisters. “They’re mean and tried put me in a dress again!”

“They’re doing that because they love you and want to see how cute you’d look!”

Jaune groaned. “You’re in on it too!” He said with another stomp.

“Oww,” Another groan came from the pile.

“No, Jaune I just want to see my little man look pretty!”

“I don’t wanna be pretty I wanna be man’y man!”

“You can be a manly man,” A gleam came to his wife's eyes and Arthur groaned. “After you wear this dress!” Victoria said pulling out a dress and lunging at her son.

Arthur shook his head as his wife and only son tussled. “Jaune I’ll be waiting in the backyard when you want to practice.”

“No, Jaune no! Don’t use the back-breaker aaagggh!”

“NO, Jaune don’t suplex me into your sisters! Aggh!”

--------

One year later.

Arthur watched his son play in the parks playground, a nice day with a clear blue sky and a cool breeze that would come around with a the pleasant smell of evergreens and the clean lake in the park, Arthur taking a moment to admire the small waves going across the water to lap at the beaches edge.

Ah, it couldn’t get more relaxing than this.

‘Shink-Break.’

He hated when he was right. He had run across the park as fast as possible to stop the blade from hitting his son.

He really shouldn’t have bother though, as Jaune grasped a broken pocket knife blade in his hands.

An absolutely tiny little thing was holding the other end, a horrifically skinny child with brown, pink, and white hair was trembling as Jaune held her in the air.

Arthur nearly gagged in disgust as got within ten feet of the children.

The smell was nose-burning and made his eye’s water in pain.

Still though Arthur look at the child his son was holding in pity. The poor thing could have been much older than his son but probably didn’t come up above three feet, they were dress in what might have been clothes at one point but had been caked in so much filth, dirt, and grime that they might as well been wearing rags.

So skinny, so damn skinny.

Arthur grimaced at the sight, the child was on the verge of starvation. A fire then lit in his belly, if he ever got his hands on whoever left a child like this he would swear on his word to kill them, no excuses, he was a huntsman he had enough sway that he could get away with it.

“Jaune, what happened? Also, put the child down.”

Jaune shrugged. “Can’t if I do she’ll do her shiny thing and disappear again.”

“Her shiny thing? Does she have an Aura Jaune?”

“Yeah, an sembence.”

“Semblance, yeah. So, could you give her to me, so that we could talk about how this happened?”

Jaune shrugged and handed the child to him, who started thrashing violently as they were being handed over, then Jaune stopped and hugged her, even as they were thrashing, her broken knife chipping at his aura.

“Actually, dad, I think I’ll hold onto her.” Arthur sighed with pity, and nodded his head. It was probably better that she didn’t get pasted around it might give them a panic attack.

“That’s fine, so what went on for this to happen?”

Jaune started rocking the child in his lap, even as they stabbed at him, but the fight quickly left them. 

“Well, I was playing, and I got tumbie rumbles, and went to get an ice-cream, then my ice-cream went gone, and I was not happy, then I did a ohra thing, and could see that she was eating my ice-cream.” Jaune took a breath and Arthur absorbed the information.

“So, I ask her why she stole my ice cream and why she’s so smelly, she got mad, well actually she got scared, an tried to punch me, then when she hurt her hand she disappeared, so I tried to find her again, then I picked her up and she tried to stib me.”

Arthur nodded and sighed again. He got on the ground and looked at the child, he gave the friendliest smile he had.

“Hi, I’m Arthur and this is my son, Jaune. What’s your name?”

The child looked away.

Arthur frowned for a second before trying again. “Do you have any parents? Or a guardian? Could you bring them to us, or have them come here?”

‘So that I can beat them to death with my bare hands.’ Arthur thought. 

The child said nothing.

“Are you hungry? We can get you some food? You want to go get some food?”

The child still said nothing, but there was a slight tremble to them now.

“Hey dad, um.” His son said. “There’s a thing, on her, It don’t look so good?” Jaune said pointing at the girls neck.

Arthur leaned in closer and recoiled immediately.

A black leaking smile was gashed across her neck leaking white and yellow pus.

“We’re going to the doctor, immediately!”

-------

Two months later.

Arthur smiled as his newest daughter was following son around like a duck. It had taken a little while and a couple stab wounds, but Neo had finally given into the Arc charm and let herself be adopted.

She was finally gaining a healthy weight and color to her skin, and her hair was combed and cut properly. Dressed up in nice clean clothes. Oddly enough she was actually older than Jaune by about three years. That had only made Arthur more incensed to find her parents.

Arthur had also been true to his word. More than happy to keep it actually.

Vale may be down one councilwoman, but the world was a better place so it balance out. Shame they couldn’t keep his face out of the press, but he sent his message.

-------

Six months later

Arthur glared at Saphron as she fidgeted with her girlfriend Terra.

The tweens had lost not only Jaune, but also Neo. In the middle of Vale.

Arthur sighed and ran a hand down his face, then pointed at the ferry where Victoria and his other daughters waited.

“Go wait over there with the rest of them. I’m sure your mother and Gris will have words for you two.”

“But Dad-,” “Mr. Arc please-”

Arthur stared firmly at her and Terra. Two tweens vs a now world-class huntsman would never in a million years be a fair contest.

They bowed their heads with shame and sulked over to his wife and eldest daughter, Gris the only huntress out of his daughters.

Arthur tried not to smile, as his daughter and her girlfriend got torn a new one, but he could only try so hard.

To be honest, however. He wasn’t worried for Jaune that much or Neo if Jaune was there. With the boys Aura and her Semblance they were damn near untouchable even for him.

No, he was more worried about-

‘KAAAA-BOOOOOOM!!’

The colateral damage.

So, Arthur did what he always did to find Jaune, follow the sounds of destruction.

He found Jaune sitting and talking to nothing in the middle of what was probably at one time a nice three story building, along with what might of been a nice, friendly gang of Vacuon thugs judging by their skin tone and tattoos that led back to the Sand Devils Gang.

They weren’t much more than bone splinters, red mist and a little bit of viscera now.

If he wasn’t so proud of his son, he might be terrified.

“So, Jaune mind telling me what happened here and where your sister is?”

Jaune jumped at the sound of his voice, bringing his hands up the way he taught him and probably how he just annihilated those men.

He relaxed when he saw Arthur and smiled. “Oh, hi dad! You can drop the barrier Neo and Em,”

Em?

Arthur had a feeling that they had another one.

“So Dad, we met a new friend, and she wanted to show us her house, but a group of meanies where here and wanted to make us do things, so I made Neo and Em hide, while I took care of it!”

Yep, they got another one.

Neo shattered into existence along with green-haired mocha skinned girl who looked absolutely terrified.

“This is Emerald, she lives here-, Oh no! I wrecked your house, I’m sorry!” Jaune looked at his dad paniced. “Dad! She can stay with us, right?!”

Arthur nodded and sat down to get eye level with the children.

Neo was holding Emerald and soothing her, and Emerald looked like she might run away at any moment.

She looked around nine, less dirty than when they first found Neo, but still under-fed and probably a street kid.

“Ok, you can stay with us.”

Emerald’s eyes went wide with shock, but Neo and Jaune pulled her into a hug.

------

Two months later...

Emerald was following Jaune and Neo like a moody cat, she had taken to living in with them better than Neo, even if she still pickpocket them some times and hid in the crawlspace.

Turns out she had still living parents. Arthur had made sure to extract all in the child support she was owed, and made sure they left her in their wills.

Too bad they suffered such tragic accidents afterwards. But, who would miss some Vacuon Dust Baron, or some Atlas Upper-Class Trash. 

Plus who cared if he was wanted by Vacuo or The Ace Ops, he was already blacklist anyway in both kingdoms.

-----

Two Months Later...

“Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday Jaune Arc!”

His string bean boy had turned seven years old today.

He was so happy for him.

Arthur looked at his son blow out the candles.

A wind blew over the campfire as storm was on the horizon.

They were celebrating his birthday here in Shion this year.

Arthur had a special present for his son this year, something to celebrate starting to train him in earnest as a huntsman. Even if he was as powerful as some huntsmen in training.

Boy would he be a monster... Well, more of one.

Arthur slid a long rectangular package across the camp table to Jaune.

“What’s this?”

“Open it up.”

Jaune looked at it and then tore open the wrapping.

A stainless steel practice sword and a heater-shield made for his size.

Jaune looked at his father with tears in his eyes. “I love it!” He squeaked out.

Victoria did glare at Arthur along with Gris, but they and the rest of the family squeled athis reaction.

They were just jealous he got the best gifts.

Arthur looked at his son seriously. “You understand what this means, Jaune? You’re going to have to start being a real huntsman now, no more regular school, we’re going to home-school you, and anytime you’re not training you’re going to be learning, understood?”

Jaune looked nervous briefly, but nodded resolutely. “Yeah, I get it. Plus I didn’t like anybody at school anyway, they were always mad at me for some reason or the girls would run away screaming.”

Arthur drifted his gaze to Em and Neo, who looked away innocently. “I guess it’s time for you two to start huntress training too, Jaune could use some partners.”

“Yes!” Emerald said joyfully, as Neo cheered with her.

Victoria stilled glared at Arthur, but he ignored it. “Who wants cake?”

------

Later that afternoon...

Clouds were starting to blow in and Arthur was gathering his family into the fortified cabins. It was going to start a down pour soon.

That’s when Arthur heard it, a moan of pain.

Arthur sighed and walked into the woods. His son, his newer daughters, and some boy he’s never seen before, all circled around a black haired Grimm masked woman who was on the ground in pain.

“Alright, what’s up this time?”

Jaune kicked the woman in the gut, elcipting a groan from her.

“She’s mean, kept trying to make us go with her, then made Vern over there fight us,” Arthur looked at the boy name Vern, who was staring awestruck at his son. Vern noticed him and quickly nodded, Arthur then noticed a black eye on the boys face and several other wounds. 

“I beat him though, and Vern got all scared, the Lady then tried to make us walk through a portal, I said no. She got mad. So she tried to beat us up, so Neo and Em gave her the run around while I beat her up. Then she got flashy eyes and tried to blasted us, but Neo and Em gave her the run around and she hit herself, then we all gang up on her.” Arthur looked at his son and daughters in amazement, not even hunters and huntress-in-training and they took on a rogue huntress with a powerful semblance and dust capablities. He was so proud of them!

The his eyes drifted back to Vern.

Arthur had a feeling he knew this song and dance already.

Arthur on down on one knee.

“How do you feel about adoption?”

------

One month later...

Raven Branwen, Raven notorious coward Branwan, was the rogue huntress his children caught. Nobody believe him though and now he had the nickname Tribe-Hunter.

Team STQ was quite interested in handling her imprisonment. That was none of Arthur’s business. Ozpin had been quite generous on his bonus though and gave him plenty of vacation time with his family.

Oh, and Vern was actually named Vernal and a girl. He really should have expected that by now. She didn’t take to family very well, but once a pecking order was established she was better behaved, even if she challenged him or Jaune for leadership.

Arthur held his wife closely as they watched their children play in the backyard. Well, Jaune and the new three.

They were practically a little team. Vernal was even calling his son ‘Boss.’

Arthur though couldn’t help feel something inside him watching his children beat the shit out of each other. That this was only the start of craziness.

His wife then gripped his hand. “I want more.”

“I feel like we don’t have a choice anymore.” But the idea didn’t bother Arthur much.