#and spencer being like those look comfy? i should wear those too

[teabiscs]

okay hear me out.

Bryan and Ivan get into a dumb argument and as retaliation, Ivan cuts all of Bryan’s jeans into daisy duke-esc shorts. And Ivan thinks it’s so funny, until bryan walks out in them without any shame.

(But also, like Bry and Tala are supposed to go grocery shopping and now Tala is mortified to take Bryan out like this. And Bryan’s like who’s going to say something to me???? And flexes.)

[doublekrecs]

Going Live

Spencer Reid x Reader

Synopsis: You're an intern for the FBI but double as a camgirl in your spare time. You thought you kept things pretty well under wraps but who knew one of your mentors watched you all along. 

Warnings: smut, unprotected p in v action (remember to wrap it), face fucking, use of sex toys, tiny bit of degrading

a/n: writing this in the setting of season 10/11 because spencer looks so damn good and i wanted to include my girl tara

also part 2 of more than physics should be up later today! hope you enjoy -🧞‍♀️

You had been a paid intern for the FBI for about a year, paid being said lightly. But the job was definitely worth it. While being under the wing of the BAU you had not only learned so much about your hopefully future profession, but you had made a family with the team. Especially under the wing of Tara Lewis, she had been there for a little while but you looked up to her work and she was more than happy to offer advice and a good wine night.

The team knew you had a second job on the side but weren’t exactly sure what it was, just that you worked from home. They respected your personal life enough to stay out of it, however that didn’t stop Rossi from offering you a little extra because “that's what uncles are supposed to do”. You would always wave him off and say you could handle yourself, because you could. 

You thoroughly enjoyed working. The money and gifts were obviously a big reward but there was always something so exciting about being on camera. Maybe it was how risque it was, being exposed for thousands to see. Or the fact that many were pleasuring themselves to the sight of you.

It was Friday night and you were getting your setup ready. You already had your outfit and glam on. Someone had sent you a set from your wishlist, lilac lace hugged your body in all the right places, accentuating all your assets and boosting your confidence. In your hair were the same color streaks you did with a tinting spray. You set the camera and laptop up in front of your bed. Silk sheets and plush pillows behind you where you could rest comfortably before your show started. 

Little did you know across town Spencer Reid was getting ready to tune in to said show. He was never one for tech, having Garcia still hand him paper files and would refuse to upgrade his phone. He had gotten a computer just so he could video chat with doctors quickly about new medicine for his mother. However he quickly found out there was so much more the internet had to offer.

_

He had stumbled across your show one lonely night. Spencer couldn’t see himself going out to find a one night stand so the pleasure of his hand it was. He was looking through videos when he saw the thumbnail with a girl wearing glasses similar to the ones you wear when you forget contacts. His curiosity got the best of him and if he was a cat he’d be one life down. He couldn’t believe the sight on the screen in his lap. 

There you were the bubbly intern, body trembling as waves of pleasure washed over you from the pink wand you held over your clit. He was delightfully flustered and the moans spilling from the computer’s speakers weren’t doing much to help.

He was entranced by you writhing in pleasure but was knocked back into reality after hearing you giggle. God he loved when you made that noise in the office, usually after fake flirting with Hotch or hearing about JJ’s boys. But this situation was totally different and if he was honest with himself he was very into it. 

You reached over to grab a large pink dildo. Taking it in your mouth before swiping it through your folds. It easily slipped in and you started rapidly pumping it into you chasing your orgasm. 

Spencer was too enthralled to even think about touching himself. He was using the gift which was his eidetic memory to the best of his ability to make this something he’d never forget. 

You came with a loud moan, hips lifting and grinding against the toy to chase the friction. Quickly you turned off the wand and took the toy out. You sat up and looked into the camera before sucking it off. Spencer's eyes widened as he let out a groan shifting on his bed. 

“Alright guys that was fun for tonight,” you said as you sat criss cross on the bed. “I didn’t think I’d be able to get to five.”

FIVE?? He thought in his head. He felt like he was gonna explode just watching those last few minutes. How was he supposed to last watching you make yourself cum five times. 

“Thank you so much for all the tips and support! My links are all in the description and I’ll see you angels next Friday! Muahh” you signed off blowing the camera a kiss. 

Spencer knew it was wrong of him to view a coworker in such an exposed light but he couldn’t help himself. So he spent the night viewing some of your old videos which brought him to what he swears to be the best orgasm of his life. Of course he sent gracious tips and made sure to buy little items off the wishlist, mentally noting to return every Friday night. Even if it meant hiding in the bathroom from Morgan in their shared hotel room on cases. That was two months ago. 

_

Just as you finished your session the phone rang signaling a case. Quickly you got in the shower and put on comfy business clothes since you usually stayed with Garcia doing extra research and taking notes. You quickly grabbed your bag and keys, making your way straight to the office. 

In the elevator you heard someone calling to keep it open. Spencer made his way in, buttoning his cardigan and adjusting his bag, quickly saying thank you. You pressed the button to the floor as you felt a pair of eyes on you. Looking over Spencer was eyeing you with a confused look on his face. You were about to question him when he spoke up first. 

“I thought you had streaks in your hair”

“I did… Earlier tonight but they washed out.” He looked even more confused, then his brain put two and two together. He just realized what he had said. For a genius this wasn’t one of his brightest moments. 

You looked at him amused as a deep blush spread from his neck to the tips of his ears. There was only one way someone would know about your quick hair change: by watching your show. The door to the elevator opened and you walked out giggling as he started sputtering apologies behind you. You quickly cut him off. 

“Spence, it's alright. If you want we can talk about this later because right now you have a bad guy to catch. But may I suggest making your name something less obvious, not that I don’t love ‘magiclover187’.” He stood there mouth gaping as you patted his shoulder and walked up to the conference room to meet the rest of the team. 

_

The case was one of the easier ones. Very minimal killing and the team was back by Tuesday morning, ready for a week of paperwork. Spencer had been dancing around you the whole time, he could barely keep eye contact with you and would rush to leave the room if you walked in. If he was this flushed around you with clothes on you could just imagine how much of a mess he would be when he watched you perform. Which brought an idea to your head. 

Friday rolled around and you walked over to his desk where he was nose deep in one of his Russian books. You put your hand in it to bring it down. Once he noticed it was you he was about to start with another ramble of apologies when you stopped him.

“Alright I’m tired of the awkwardness and I want my friend back,” you said with a soft smile. “Why don’t you come over tonight and we can have that talk. I’ll even order a pizza and we can watch Doctor Who.”

“Y/n are you sure? I-I mean it is um uh Friday.. And ya know you usually film,” he said as he played with his tie. 

You giggled at how nervous he was. Poor little genius didn’t know he was the only one with tricks up their sleeve. 

“It’s fine I promise. Just a night with my favorite customer,” you said winking at him. He choked and looked around to see if anyone was looking at his outburst.

“I’m kidding.. Sort of,” you trailed off. “But I mean it about you coming over. I’m going home now but I expect you there in an hour with drinks.”

With that you turned around and walked off, adding a little extra sway to your hips. Obviously that did the trick as you heard a small groan behind you. Spencer dropped his head back as he started wracking his brain to figure out how to live through the night without making a bigger fool of himself or cuming in his pants. 

_

You know maybe you were evil, you thought to yourself as you put on the finishing touches to your outfit for the night. Once you got home you sped into the shower to freshen up for him to come over and get your setup ready. You were wearing a cream colored strappy bodysuit. Over it was a large cardigan, almost resembling the maroon one he owned, strange. To top it off you were wearing your glasses and your legs were adorned with your favorite thigh high socks. 

The three knocks on the door instantly made a smirk appear on your face. This might just be one of your best schemes yet. Looking through the peephole you saw Spencer gnawing on his bottom lip holding a few bottles of soda. Taking a deep breath you opened the door greeting him with all the casualty in the world. 

“Hey! I’m glad you came, come in.”

He followed you in and tried to keep his eyes above your neck, trying to act like he wasn’t getting completely hard by just your outfit.  You sat down on your couch and patted it for him to sit next to you. He took the seat and gulped not really sure what you had planned. 

“Um how long for the pizza to get here?” 

“The pizza’s not coming Spence,” you said shaking your head. “But you are.”

You leaned forward to place your hand on his on the couch. “I want you to fuck me on camera Spencer,” you said with sweet confidence, fluttering your lashes. His eyes kept flashing between your cleavage showing through the cardigan and your lips before finally landing on your eyes. He didn’t see a single hint of humor in them, nothing transparent but lust. 

He pulled his hand from under yours to place in your hair, pulling you into a heated kiss. You pushed back on his chest a bit to try and get some air. 

“Save that magic for the show,” you said as you pulled him up to lead to your bedroom. 

The camera was set at a little bit of a lower angle. The audience would just be able to see you and at most Spencer’s chest. You had made sure it was fine and even turned it on as a test so he could see what he looked like. After you got everything out of the way you hit the button to go live and instantly people started flooding in. If the bulge in his pants told you anything, it was that he was excited to be on the other side of the screen this time. 

“Hello my angels!” you said into the camera, Spencer was taken back at what was going on. After months of lusting over the young intern he was finally seeing the show in person. 

“Today I have a special guest with me. My very good friend, the Doctor,” you took his hand to pull him into frame. “He’s very excited to be here,” you said, hand moving down to palm him through his pants. 

His hand reached out and wrapped around your throat, making you look up at him. Huh. This was a new Spencer you wouldn’t mind seeing more often.

“Let's not play games princess. Or else the only thing making you cum tonight are your pathetic little fingers. Am I clear?”

You shivered at the intensity of his voice instantly trying to nod the best you could within his grip. He let go and you went back to task at hand, undoing his pants and pulling them down along with his boxers. He was long and pink. Precum already spilling out of the pretty tip, you couldn’t wait to have him in your mouth, among other places. You wasted no time in licking a broad stripe along a vein under it. His hand went to grab a handful of your hair giving it a testing tug as a warning to stop teasing. 

Your hand went to grip what couldn’t fit in your mouth but you tried your best to take him all in. You could hear the pings of tips and comments being said. Spencer could too and leaned over slightly to read them. 

“Face fuck her,” he murmured. He pulled you off of his cock and looked down into your eyes, “Is that what you want princess? Hm.” His thumb went to clean up the spit dripping down your chin before rubbing your lips. “You want me to fuck your face?”, he said in a condescendingly sweet voice. 

“Yes Doctor please! Fuck my throat.” 

“Good girl.”

Both his hands made their place nested in your hair, guiding you to his cock. He wasted no time in being brutal. Tears were leaking down your cheeks as he kept on hitting the back of your throat. Spencer was enjoying himself to the fullest letting out curses and praises at how good your mouth felt. He knew he wasn’t going to last much longer and you could feel it too as he started to throb in your mouth. He then pulled you off, a trail of spit connected from your lips and his cock. 

“Such a dirty whore for me. Show everyone how messy I make you,” he took your head and made you turn to look in the camera. Comments pinged talking about how pretty you looked with mascara running and smudged lipstick. 

“Thank them and ask if you deserve to cum on my cock,” Who knew Spencer had this in him. But you were loving every second of it and put on your best pair of puppy dog eyes to beg the camera for Spencer to split you in half. And you had no shame in doing so. 

“Please let the Doctor fuck me. I’ve been such a good girl for you guys,” you pleaded into the camera. The audience was pleased with your begging as they said you deserved it for being so good. 

Spencer took his time in unbuttoning the cardigan you had on, teasingly rubbing your arms as he slipped it off. His hands then went to the bodice of it, groping your breasts and teasing your nipples through the fabric. 

“Ah shit doctor, please fuck me already.”

Who was he to deny you of such a thing when you asked so nicely. He pushed you back down on the silk sheets. Pulling you by your thighs to the end of the bed where he moved the thong of the bodysuit to the side and slid his cock up your folds. Lubricating it in your juices before slipping right in. You both gasped at the intrusion, his hands grabbing your hips with a force sure to leave bruises. He used the leverage to set a brutal pace, ramming his cock into you. 

Your ears were ringing from the pleasure but you could hear the constant pings of your tip box and comment section flooding. 

“Shit baby you’re so tight. Perfect little pussy squeezing me so good.” You babled off thank yous and whimpers from being so close to your climax.

 You felt Spencer stop for a second and reach over to grab something. Then you felt it. Your wand set to the highest setting placed on your clit as he started to thrust into you again. Sounds of your moans and skin slapping together filled the room along with the buzzing of the vibrator. You were sure there was going to be a noise complaint notice on your door in the morning. 

You were so close to having the bubble in your stomach burst and so was he. 

“I'm gonna cum Doctor,” you practically yelled. “Please cum inside me!”

“Cmon princess. Let me feel you let go.”

With that the knot broke and you swore you died and went to heaven. Your walls squeezing Spencer led him to his end a little after you. Thrusts faltering and groaning at the feeling of pleasure washing over him. He turned off the wand and put it to the side before slipping out of you. 

Looking into the camera you gasped at your appearance. Hair disheveled and face messy from crying in pleasure multiple times that night. Your mixed release leaking down your thigh and onto the sheets. 

There were non stop pings of people calling Spencer a lucky bastard and asking for him to come back next Friday. Spencer nodded his head over to your bathroom to get you guys something to clean up with and let you do your closing. 

“Thanks for the love tonight angels,” you said with a smile on your face, entirely blissed out. “As always the links are in the description and I’ll see you guys next Friday. Maybe I’ll talk to the Doctor about future appearances. Bye!” 

With that you fell back on your bed and closed your eyes. Your body jolted at a sudden coldness between your thighs. 

“Right sorry,” Spencer whispered.

“So where did that come from?” you looked at him with an eyebrow raised. 

“A magician never reveals his secrets,” he stated seriously. 

You giggled and took his hand, “Thanks for doing this with me.”

“Of course. Now why don’t you shower while I get us a pizza. For real this time.”

“Or we can shower together then call the pizza.”

He contemplated it before smiling at you, “You always have the best ideas.” 

“Don’t I know it.. Doctor.”

[stxrrywildflower]

mental health day

pairing - bau team x teen!reader

summary - you and rossi have a father-daughter day

warnings - none

word count - ?

days off from school were something everyone needed.

in the recent few days, you had become extremely stressed with school to the point of staying up until two in the morning doing homework or reviewing your notes. the amount of coffee you consumed could even rival spencer.

the breaking point was when you had just completely shut down. it was around one a.m. and you were studying for a test next week. adding on to all of the work you had been doing, your mind had just drifted. ever ounce of nervousness over failing and not living up to expectations ran through your head.

a string of tears had began to flow down your cheeks before you could even process it. at first, you thought you could actually contain it and move on. but, you broke into sobs, your head now leaning against your still open textbook. everything was just becoming too much and you really couldn’t handle it. between the lack of sleep and overworking, you just couldn’t take it.

you couldn’t have been crying for more than five minutes before the door to your room opened. through teary eyes, you turned your head to see your dad standing by the door, a concerned look on his face. you stood up, rossi meeting you halfway and pulling you into a tight hug. you kept your head pressed into your dads shoulder as he held you.

“what’s going on passerotto?” rossi questioned.

“high school sucks,” you mumbled into your fathers embrace.

“i know honey. but trust me, you’ll get through it,” rossi reassured you.

you felt incredibly guilty that on one of the nights that your dad was actually home on time, he was woken up in the early hours of the morning to comfort you.

“i’m sorry for waking you up papá,” you apologized.

“hey, it’s fine figlia, trust me. you matter more than a good nights sleep. which reminds me, you need to get to bed. don’t worry about school tomorrow, i’ll call you out sick,” rossi spoke.

you smiled at your dad before heading over to your bed, slipping under the covers and plugging in your phone to charge. with a kiss to your forehead, rossi shut off the light to your room.

by the time he had left the room, you were already almost asleep.

the following morning, you woke up and immediately rolled over to check the time. ten a.m. the clock on your phone read. you remembered what had happened last night though some of it was a blurry memory.

after getting out of bed, you quickly got changed out of pajamas and into your usual comfy outfit. you honestly didn’t feel up for wearing anything else. the familiar scent of pancakes and bacon were notable as you walked down the stairs and to the kitchen.

“good morning figlia!” your father greeted, a bright smile on his face, “are you feeling better?” you slid into one of the seats on the counter. “i just don’t even want to think about school right now,” you replied with a grimace. “aren’t you supposed to be at work?” you asked.

rossi let out a chuckle. “i took the morning off. i’ll head in around 1,” he answered. you nodded, thanking him when a plate of food was placed in front of you.

“so i was thinking that we could spend the morning doing a little cooking and then maybe bring the team some lunch? i’ve been wanting to make some homemade pasta and i need my best sou-chef,” your dad suggested. “sounds perfect,” you replied.

once breakfast was finished, rossi began to clean up while you got the things needed to make pasta including flour and eggs. the counter was soon cleaned off so you could work. growing up with an italian father, you didn’t even need to look at a recipe.

you took the flour from the cabinet and spread it onto the counter. after piling it into a circle, you hollowed out the middle before cracking eggs into it. rossi smiled on as he watched you mix the ingredients together and kneed the dough. it was nice to see you in a significantly better mood, especially since you were cooking his own personal recipe.

the rest of the process took close to an hour. finally, you finished prepping and it was time to cook. you stirred the noodles while rossi made a sauce. when the entire thing was done, you packed the perfect sized portions into seven containers, not including your own. while rossi went upstairs to get his stuff for work, you wrote individual notes with the teams names on them as well as a small heart.

“ready to go?” your dad asked once he reappeared in the kitchen. you nodded, grabbing your coat and phone as well as the bag of food.

the drive to quantico didn’t take long at all, not like you minded even if it was. washington d.c. was always pretty to you and the drive showed off the city perfectly.

you were handed a visitors pass upon entering while rossi just simply flashed his badge. after pressing the ‘six’ button on the elevator, you leaned against the wall, keeping your focus on the doors in front of you. “well i’m going to head up to my office. think you can make those deliveries?”

“yeah, i’m going to go see penelope first,” you spoke. when the doors opened once more, you and your dad went opposite ways, you going to penelope’s lair while he went into the bullpen.

the door leading to garcia’s office had the sign set to ‘open’ so you punched in the familiar code and entered the room. “y/n!” penelope squealed once you entered. you grinned into her hug, careful of the bag.

“special delivery,” you announced, handing her a container. “oh my gosh is this the recipe i’ve been begging rossi to try?” penelope questioned. “yup, we made it this morning,” you replied.

penelope thanked you once more and with that, you exited the lair and headed to the bullpen. morgan was the first one to greet you as he was just coming back from getting coffee. “little rossi!” morgan called, ruffling your hair slightly. you smiled, being around the team already lifted your mood.

“i have gifts,” you spoke once you were in the group of desks belonging to morgan, spencer, j.j., and emily. you took out a container and placed on on everyone’s desk. “i’m going to bring one up to uncle aaron and then i’ll be back,” you told the group. j.j. smiled slightly at the name.

you called hotch ‘uncle aaron’ because he was just that too you. rossi was your dad, obviously, and penelope, morgan, spencer, j.j., and emily were all like siblings.

after knocking on hotch’s office door and hearing a faint ‘come in!’ you entered the office with a smile. “hey uncle aaron, i have lunch,” you spoke. hotch shot you one of his rare smiles. “thanks y/n, what’s the occasion? aren’t you supposed to be in school?” a slight flinch was noteable when he mentioned where you should be.

“she needed a day off,” rossi spoke from the doorway. you silently thanked him with your eyes. hotch nodded, seemingly understanding the answer. “well the team is meeting in the conference room to eat lunch. you good to join?” rossi asked.

both you and hotch nodded before standing up. you walked next to your dad down the catwalk and into the conference room. everyone was already in there, taking their individual seats. you slid into a chair in between rossi and emily.

during the teams lunch break, you all ate and talked. everyone could realize that you just needed a break and found different jokes to cheer you up. when everyone went back to work, you headed into rossi’s office and leaned against the bookshelf.

“thank you for today papá,” you spoke. cooking and being around the team was the perfect way to distract you.

“anything for you figlia,” rossi smiled.

[cutiepisenpai]

Dear Stranger Series Ch. 3: Sleep is Important(Spencer Reid x Female OC)

Chapter 1 

Chapter 2

Warning:Fluff, mentions of anxiety, previously implied sexual experience.

Spencer wakes up with a cramp in his neck and soreness in his legs. Falling asleep on Melinda’s couch was not the best idea. It’s still dark out but there is no clock in site. He would reach for his phone but Melinda is still sleeping peacefully on his chest. He tries to shift into a slightly more comfortable position but his movement causes Melinda to stir. She rocks her head back and forth rubbing her head into Spencer’s chest trying to figure out why her pillow is so uncomfortable. It isn’t until she lifts her head and makes eye contact that the memories start to piece together. “You are not a comfy pillow.” Melinda says in a groggy voice. Her comment makes Spencer chuckle. “ Sorry about that. But if we are talking about uncomfy things, your couch is definitely one of them.” Melinda hums in agreement, with a deep breath she groans and pushes off of him. “Alright, lets go.” “Go where?” Spencer says confused. “To the bed. You said the couch is uncomfortable and you’re right. And you’re too tall to try and sleep on the couch c’mon.” “Uh.. Um are you sure that’s a good idea.” Spencer says hesitating to follow. “ I don’t kick in my sleep. And I’m sure I would have already noticed if you snore.” Melinda says as she walks down the hall towards the bedroom. Spencer waits a moment before walking hesitantly towards her bedroom. He stops at the door when he looks in and sees her already laying in bed. “Are you going to come and lay down? Or am I making you uncomfortable?” Spencer walked over to the other side of the bed not yet sitting down. “ No, I just don’t understand how this doesn’t bother you.” “I don’t feel like you’re a stranger. Even though we have just met in person we really have known each other for years.” She says with a smile. Spencer can’t argue with her logic it makes sense. He has in the last four years shared the details of his life with her. He finally gives in, pulls back the blanket and lays down. He looks so nervous as Melinda watches him climb into the bed, she reaches over to tuck stray hair behind his ear. “Just get some rest, there’s nothing other than sleep going on here tonight.”

The next time Melinda awakes the sun is just now peering through the window. Spencer is sleeping peacefully beside her, she decides it's best to let him rest. She enjoys sleeping herself but she has always gotten up with the sun regardless of whether she wants to or not. Letting out a deep sigh she climbs out of the bed and closes the drapes and heads out the room closing the door lightly behind herself. A habit she had gotten into in her early teens is that when she can’t sleep she bakes. She finds it calming so she puts on a pot of coffee and tries to decide what would be the best breakfast pastry to make. She decides on blueberry muffins and gets to work gathering ingredients. An hour later the muffins are done and cooling. She still hasn’t heard anything from Spencer but she knows from their letters that he doesn’t get enough sleep normally. She sets her path for the living room cup of coffee and muffin in hand. She turns her music back on setting as low as possible while still being able to hear it and gets back to work on the bookshelves while enjoying her breakfast.

When Spencer wakes up he looks over for Melinda who is nowhere is site. The room is dark, darker than it should. Darker than when they came in before no outside lights shining through the window. He listens to see if he can hear her moving about but there are no sounds to be heard, for all he knows he could be here alone. When he opens the door he sees the rest of the apartment lit warmly from the sun coming through the windows in the living room. As he heads towards the living room he notices the boxes from last night are gone. Melinda is sitting on the couch with her back to him book in hand. Spencer walks up behind her trying to figure out what she is reading. Once he is standing directly behind her reading over her head, she tilts her head back, “Good Morning sunshine.” “Um. Good Morning “ he says back voice still raspy. "There's muffins and coffee, I could go grab for you if you like." Spencer nods, " Thank you I appreciate it." Melinda goes to the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee and a muffin for Spencer coming back into the living room having a seat beside him. "Thank you again. How long have you been awake that you got all those books put away?" He asks while picking up the coffee. "Ah just about 2 hours or so." "2 hours? You could have woken me up." Melinda pulls her knees into her chest just placing her head onto them. "You need to sleep and more than just a few hours. Sleep is important, evidence suggests that sleep performs a range of vital functions, including restoring damaged tissues, boosting learning and memory, and flushing toxins from the brain. Sleeping too little can have serious long-term health consequences, increasing risk of obesity, diabetes, and cardiovascular disease. You know up to seventy million Americans have a chronic sleep disorder such as insomnia or sleep apnea." Spencer was speechless, when he rambled the team always seemed to get lost or would be bothered with the endless facts. But hearing her rattle on endlessly about why people, him specifically, need to sleep. He doesn't realize he is staring until he sees something fly by his face. Focusing he sees it's Melinda's hand trying to get his attention. "Did I lose you there?" "Oh no. I've just never heard anyone else ramble on like I have a tendency to do." She smiles, " Well you're not the only genius around anymore." While Spencer finishes his coffee and muffin they discuss their plans for the rest of the day. Spencer is going to go home to shower and change and pick Melinda up for a lunch date.

Once Spencer has left Melinda waits exactly ten minutes to have her minor freak out. People have a tendency to return within ten minutes thinking they forgot something and the last thing she wants for him to witness is her slight meltdown. Once the time has passed she is pacing back and forth in her living room. Had she lost her mind last night, she kept it cool in the presence of others fueled partly by her training with Interpol but mostly from anxiety. She had never done anything like that before, she had only ever spent the night with one other guy and only the one time, much less innocently. And now here she is in crisis mode because she really likes Spencer and hoped that hadn't been a bad impression. Trying to calm herself but failing she throws her body onto the couch face into a pillow yelling out a loud groan. "Okay, okay, okay, this is fine, I'm fine, it's all fine….Right?....Ugh" and she flops over onto her back pulling the pillow into her face. She stays like this for another fifteen minutes trading between yelling into the pillow and muttering to herself. Finally overcoming one obstacle of the morning, it's time to tackle a more important issue: what the hell is she going to wear today. And searching through the boxes of clothing and shoes that have yet to be unpacked. "Okay. You've got this." Melinda tells herself.

At noon exactly Spencer is waiting outside Melinda's waiting for her to answer. Once the door opens the site before him is breathtaking. Melinda is wearing a forest green, knee length dress accentuated at the waist, with billowing sleeves open from shoulder to wrist, nude pumps and matching crossbody bag. "Wow", the word slips from Spencer's lips. "Good to know this was a good choice." Medina says with a giggle. "Sorry you're just so beautiful." "Thank you. " She steps out to lock the door behind her. "So, where are we headed?" "There's this great Indian place, they have the best chicken tandoori." "Sounds good." She says with a smile as they step into the elevator. At the restaurant they make pleasant conversation discussing different facts about the history of India and the cuisine. After lunch they decide to just walk around enjoying each other's company.

[homeofthelonelywriter]

Drabbles!!

(A/N) So, I finally collected my favourite drabbles. Most of those below are from another blog, but I just can’t find him/her. So if those are your drabbles or you know the user those drabbles are from, please let me know, so I can give them the credit they deserve! How this works: Choose one or more prompts and a character and send me your request. You can do it as an anon, but if you do it non-anon like, I can tag you. And if you’d like any more details to be added (who says the line, for example) just add it to the request. You can find a list of characters I write for down below. The things you send me, will be turned into a oneshot.

1. “Close your eyes.“ – „I swear, if you’re doing something strange, I’ll kill you!”

2. “Are you…flirting with me?” – “About damned time you notice!”

3. “Please stop smiling at me. I keep messing everything up when you look at me like that!”

4. “You look so comfy and cuddle-able!”

5. “I can’t believe, how a few months ago I wanted to learn your name and now you’re eating breakfast in my shirt.”

6. “No…it’s just like…I can’t believe you’re actually wearing my clothes.”

7. “You can hurt yourself with that.” – uses weapon skilfully – “You were saying?”

8. “You know, to be a smartass, you have to be smart. Otherwise you’re just an ass.”

9. “IS THAT PAINT?” – “Nope, just my blood.”

10. “That looks infected.” – “It’s fine.” – “You’re dying!” – “Well…that’s fine too.”

11. “I can save you.” – “No, you can’t.”

12. “Do you think at all before you speak?”

13. “You know, unlike some other people, I don’t sleep with everyone I make eye contact with.”

14. “Promise me you’ll take better care of yourself.”

15. “I’ve made so many mistakes, but you’re not one of them.”

16. “You, didn’t do the dishes, I’m not doing you!”

17. “Hot, gorgeous, beautiful…whatever you want to call me.”

18. “Who are we ignoring?”

19. “I love sarcasm! It’s like punching people in the face with words.”

20. “You’re one insult away from starting a war.”

21. “I love you from the bottom from my heart, but I don’t trust you cooking. So stay out of my kitchen.”

22. “I have nothing to apologise for.”

23. “Don’t judge because I’m quiet. No one plans a murder out loud.”

24. “Why aren’t you worshipping me, mortal?” – “Not interested, thanks though.”

25. “I’m going to kill you!” – “Daring/Dude, I’m already dead.”

26. “It’s hard to have a heart, when you stopped so many others.”

27. “I’d like to apologies to everyone, for what’s about to happen.”

28. “Death is the only god, who will come if you call.”

29. “God damnit!” – “You can’t say that!” – “Okay. Satan bless it!”

30. “I hate you.” – “Why? I’m lovely!”

31. “Why were you trying to kill me?” – “I was hired to.”

32. “You’re…” – “Beautiful, gorgeous, immensely talented-“ – “…dangerous.”

33. “I know the voices aren’t real, but man, they come up with some great ideas!”

34. “All that blood looks good on you. It really brings out your eyes.”

35. “You see, my idea of ‘help from above’, is a sniper.”

36. “You’re a psychopath.” – “I prefer creative.”

37. “Excuse me? Which level of hell is this?”

38. “Fuck an apology! I’m not sorry for anything!”

39. “Who are you? Death?” – “Sometimes. Not today though.”

40. “I’d rather be spilling blood.”

41. “Spoiler alert: everybody dies.”

42. “No! I’m not feeling violent. I’m feeling creative with weapons.”

43. “Don’t you feel lonely living in your own little world?” – “Don’t you feel powerless living in other people’s world?”

44. “I may have, accidently adopted five cats.”

45. “The problem is: if I kiss you, I don’t think I’d be able to stop.”

46. “I can lose everything! But not you, oh god, not you!”

47. “Kill me if you must, but I will not bow to a king, who wears a crown studded with jewels of every life he’s taken.”

48. “I am the monster you created.”

49. “Why should I apologies for being the monster I’ve become? No one ever apologised for making me this way!”

50. “The chains may be broken, but are you truly free?”

51. “The devil’s got nothing on me, my friend.”

52. “Clever as the devil and twice as pretty.”

53. “Can I stay in the reality of your universe? Mine sucks.”

54. “So, what’s your plan?” – “My plan was to follow your plan!”

55. “I do what I want and you’ll do what you’re told!”

56. “This is my life now. I climbed that hill and I’ll die upon it.” – “Shut up! We’ve only been hiking for like five minutes!”

57. “I’m getting the distinct feeling that I’m not welcome here.”

58. “Don’t bleed on my floor!”

59. “…I think I broke him/her.”

60. “You’ve got to believe me!” – “Sorry, but I tend to not believe compelling liars.”

61. “I’d take a bullet for you, you know that.” – “You’re immortal. And I’m going to kill you if you keep saying that.”

62. “I know it’s three in the morning, but I can’t find my cat.”

63. “If you walk out that door…don’t you ever come back.”

64. “Will you just let me think for a minute and let me think?!”

65. “Ignore me. I didn’t see anything.”

66. “I’m in love…shit.”

67. “You look…” – “Beautiful, I know. Can we please move on now?”

68. “I’ve never stood a chance, did I?” – “That’s the sad part. You once did.”

69. “I thought you forgot about me.” – “Never.”

70. “I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”

71. “We have like five people trying to kill us. What are we gonna do?” – “Well, it’s more like nine.” – “Oh well, I’m sorry I wasn’t specific enough!”

72. “Oh, look at all the pretties!” – “Can you please stop talking about assault rifles, the same way you talk about shoes?”

73. “I am way to sober for this shit.”

74. “Stop that.” – “Stop what?” – “That thing you’re doing with your face when you’re happy. It’s making me nauseous.”

75. “Take my hand.” – “Why?” – “I’m trying to ask you to marry me! So, take my damned hand!”

76. “Well, do as I say, not as I do.”

77. “Come here.” – “Why?” – “Just come here!” – “No, you’re gonna hit me!”

78. “I’m fine.” – “You don’t look fine.” – “Then stop looking.”

79. “You need to stop doing that!” – “Doing what?” – “Things that make me want to kiss you.”

80. “I’m not a doctor, but I think he’s dead.”

81. “I’d love to insult you, but I’m afraid I won’t do as well as nature did.”

82. “Want to come over? Nobody’s home.” – “On my way.” – “I’m here, where are you?” – “Told you nobody’s home.”

Characters:

Divergent:

Eric

Four

Hunger Games:

Peeta

Gale

Finnick

The walking dead:

Daryl

Negan

Rick

Glenn

NCIS:

Gibbs

Criminal MInds:

Hotchner

Spencer

Lord of the rings:

Aragorn

Legolas

Frodo

Sam

Merry

Pippin

The Hobbit:

Thranduil

White Collar:

Neal

Percy Jackson:

Percy

Luke

Riverdale:

Jughead

FP Jones

Harry Potter:

Harry

Ron

Draco

Fred & George

Tom Riddle

Snape

Neville

Marvel:

Loki

Thor

Captain America

Iron Man

Actors:

Tom Hiddleston

Benedict Cumberbatch

Jeffrey Dean Morgan

Sebastian Stan

Jai Courtney

Tom Felton

Jeremy Renner

Bill Skarsgard

YouTube:

Dan Howell

Markiplier

[gaiatheorist]

Knickers.

I’m collapsing in on myself again, it’s cyclic, in-part seasonal, and in-part circumstance, I’m always more withdrawn in the winter, and the additional layer of anxiety/paranoia about being on benefits is having an impact. I’ll come through it, I always do, I’m just mindful of the fact that I’m having more episodes of “Don’t want to.”, and more internal arguments about what I need/want to do.

Pulling myself out of myself, and into the world, I need to do that, but I won’t run at it head-on, it’s a slow re-build, I need to take small steps, and test the stability of each before I move onto the next. There will be external challenges at Christmas approaches, and well-meaning, but intrusive peripheral contacts insist I “can’t” be alone on Christmas day. I can, and probably will, the ex’s family ‘do’ Christmas, the boy and I will pick a random day during his uni winter break for him to unpack the boxes of assorted gifts and nonsense. (Must remember to order some pork pies, in case he wants to do the ‘Hogfather’ pork pie and sherry thing again.) 

One of the nonsense items will be delivered over the next couple of days, a pack of enormous old-man underpants, a nod to the running joke that his friends used to call him ‘Grandpa’. He’ll probably throw them at my head, he’s unlikely to say “Oh, how splendid, mother, a pack of high-waist Y-fronts, just what I ALWAYS wanted.” He has a strange habit with his underpants, he’ll ‘hide’ them, and we’ve only recently unpicked that his practice of wrapping his pants in some other garment when he brings them down to wash only applies to worn pants, he’s fine with me hanging his washed pants to dry, but he doesn’t want me to acknowledge the existence of worn pants. Strange young man.

Knickers have been in the news, first the rape case in Ireland, where it was argued that the 17 year old girl’s choice of underwear indicated availability, and now the furore about a Marks and Spencer window display. Both articles made me angry, for similar reasons, the pants-prescription of how women ‘should’ clad their undercarriage. The whispy bit of lace on the 17 year old was assumed to mean she was ‘open to’ sexual contact, and there, in the M&S window-display ‘Must-have fancy little knickers’ for women, next to fully-dressed ‘male’ mannequins. 

In the wake of some genuinely unpleasant internet to-and-fro over International Mens Day earlier this week, I’m being very careful not to ‘blame’ men for women’s choice of underwear. It’s advertising and the media projecting the notion that ‘we’ feel more confident in fancy pants. I can’t say how uncomfortable male underwear is, I don’t have the external bits that need tucking into supportive undergarments, or go flapping about loose in less restrictive ones. I’m trying to think of any advertising campaigns for man-pants I’ve seen, and I can’t bring any to mind, maybe Kate Moss modelling Calvin Klein? Man-pants are marketed differently, there’s the possibility that those of you with penises are pressured to pack them provocatively as well, and I just don’t know about it. It’s 4am on a Wednesday, I’m not going to Google man-pants for research purposes, they’ll spring up in my Facebook feed ‘targeted’ adverts, like every other thing I buy, or look at. (Yeah, thanks, Amazon, I just bought a mattress, and now you’re showing me other mattresses, how many do you think I need?) 

Pants-pressure. The struggle is real. I spent my teenage years with a constant wedgie, and occasional bouts of thrush due to wearing cheap g-strings. ‘Big knickers’ were for grandmas, and a visible knicker line didn’t bear thinking about. I still have some lacy little numbers in my pants-drawer, but they were intended for practicality, not provocation, some of my work-dresses were form-fitting, Lycra, so I could move rather than mince, a Spandex silhouette is unforgiving of underpants. (Flashbacks, to an old manager once pointing out a colleague’s VPL, and my ex loudly observing that a larger lady at a function had ‘six arses’, this is not about examples of stupid men, nobody ‘made’ me wear genital floss all those years.) I’m ‘going out’ at the start of next month, and there’s the possibility that I’ll root to the back of the drawer for a pair of pants that aren’t Asda 3-for-£5 cartoon character ones. Or not, I could just stay slob-comfy in jeans, nobody’s going to see my pants. 

‘Treat yourself’, ‘feel confident’, the media message appears to be that wearing pants that have gone a funny colour in the wash, or just seen better days in general won’t do at all. Knickers to that, I don’t need to splash out on skimpy things, or throw money at matching sets, my eyebrows don’t match, if my underwear matches, it’s probably accident rather than choice. Do I feel more ‘confident’ in a properly-fitting bra? I’ll let you know if I eventually have one, for now, there’s a small selection of Primark ones that near-enough fit if I feel the need to wrestle my bosom into submission, mostly I don’t bother, bras are not the most comfortable of garments.

We’ve come a long way since corsets and crinolines, but we’re still besieged by this bullshit that we ‘should’ clad ourselves a certain way, FOR ourselves. It’s my aesthetic issue again, I don’t ‘need’ to present myself as attractive, it’s not an attribute I value. The internet seems to think I should, judging by the ‘targeted’ adverts for ‘shapewear’. Fine, I’m not altogether happy with my shape just now, but compressing the additional bits with elastic won’t make me ‘feel amazing’, it’d make me feel uncomfortable, leave whacking great big lines all over me, and possibly infringe the trades description laws once the damned things were off, and I revealed ‘the truth’ of a 41 year old body. I have a pad of fat on my belly, that happens in winter, because I’m less active, the cold flares my arthritis and Raynaud’s, moving is painful. My breasts aren’t as perky as they once were, and have a tendency to wander off in the direction of my armpits when I’m in certain positions. I’m 41, not 21, this is the truth of me, if I truss it up, the padding or packing all ends up on the floor, hopefully my tits won’t follow, but I’m not about to pick a fight with gravity.

It’s a me-thing. I don’t do ‘pretty’, and it infuriates me that society in general still can’t grasp the double standard that people are encouraged to dress a certain way, and then criticised for it. I don’t do ‘feminine’, that’s my choice, based on some negative life experiences, most of my outer clothes are either from the men’s section, or unisex, I’m tall-for-a-female, and oddly proportioned, my thighs are too long for most standard-fit skirts and dresses to sit at a ‘respectable’ level. The ‘tall’ sections in women’s clothing tend to assume that the extra inches of height also mean I’m broad, I’m not, I’m just ‘long’, and I’ve given up on finding clothes that don’t do that weird empty saddle-bag thing around my hips. I do construct my outer layers to conceal my curves, I’m aware that I do it, I don’t want to be ‘seen’ as female, that’s my preference, and I wouldn’t force it on anyone else. The media, or society in general does push its preference, though, men should dress like ‘this’, and women like ‘that’. It’s jarring that, in the wake of a teenager’s knickers being presented as evidence of consent, that we’re still being encouraged to wear ‘sexy’ underwear, ‘for ourselves.’ 

There might be women out there who do ‘feel more confident’ in certain types of lingerie, but my feeling is that they’ve been taught to do that, by society’s version of ‘dress to impress’. We all have the media messages to look younger, more attractive, anything else is the cardinal sin of ‘letting yourself go’, in this presentation-preoccupied age. 

It makes not one iota of difference to any other human what’s underneath my trousers, on any given day it could be a pair of Batman pants, a scrap of lace, or minging old knickers that have gone funny in the wash. (I haven’t quite crossed the Frank Reynolds line yet, but if the kid throws the Y-fronts at me, it could be an option.) What covers my crotch doesn’t confer consent, and I’m not impressionable enough to believe that ‘Spanx’ or an extortionately priced matching set from La Senza will change my life. Murky waters, where women do as they’re told by their magazines and the media, and are then placed at risk of being called out as whores for what they wore.