#and that characters will have shorter conversations than they would in real life

[stylesispunk]

"I couldn't want you anymore" | part 7

Artist! Joel Miller x Florist! Reader

series masterlist | previous chapter | next

summary: when Sarah's mom comes back into Joel's life to fight for their past relationship, Joel needs to convince her he is in a happy relationship with the florist next to his gallery in order to make her go away. The problem is, that he and the florist can't stand each other's guts or that it's what he thinks.

warning: age gap (Joel is 36 and reader is 28). Remember that "Bee" is the reader's nickname, angst as always, fighting between our two main characters + smut, and fluff.

a/n: Hello! Chapter 6 is here. First, I want to thank every one of you for reading and reblog and comment on my story, it makes my heart happy. This chapter is shorter than the last two, but is a chapter I had to rewrite 3 times because, but I didn't like it at all, but I hope you do a little bit at least? haha. Reblogs and comments are always appreciated and please share your thoughts with me, I love reading from you No proofreading so I'm sorry for any grammar mistakes. Happy reading. 💌

masterlist

It's been two weeks since your last visit to Joel's place. It's been two weeks since you showed up on his doorstep, angry and broken because you blamed him for wrecking your plans to move on and start a new life, and two weeks since he kissed you.

Two weeks, and Joel had started to become crazy because of your radio silence.

He had thought that after your emotional outburst, you would simply need time to think, hoping that you would return sooner and ask him to try, for real this time.

After three months of not having you that close, he had replayed every moment of with you, every touch, your eyes, and the taste of your lips. He had poured his heart out to you, declared his love, and yet your response was requesting time to consider his intentions.

He feared you were tired of him, and the accident's wounds didn't hurt as much as his heart. He was recovering faster, yet his emotions were pained.

He recalled the night he crushed your heart, thinking this is exactly how you felt when you said "I love you" and he failed to respond the same back. For him, the irony of pain was how badly you wanted to be comforted by the one who hurt you, but now it was you who wasn't there.

The longing for you got stronger as the days passed, and it became increasingly difficult for him to sit still and wait for you to reach for him. Joel acknowledged that your silence wasn't completely a rejection, but he was afraid that the distance you were creating might shatter what was left of your story.

He didn't want you to become a memory; instead, he wanted to create memories with you.

"I think she's being unfair to Joel," Tommy said over dinner, seeing Sarah, Lily, and Joel's gaze on him.

"Why do you mean by that?" Lily asked, defiantly

 "Joel told her he loved him, wasn't that what she wanted?" he inquired.

Joel threw his brother a cautionary stare as Lily scoffed.

"No, no, it wasn't. She didn't stay because of him."

The weight of the conversation was pressing down on Joel. He was aware that everyone around him were concerned about him, but at the same time he hated how everyone had a say about you and him, not knowing what really was involved.

"It's not like he forced her to stay," Tommy continued.

Joel's irritation was rising, and he felt the tension between his brother and Lily; after all, she was your best friend, and she would defend you from everyone.

Joel pushed his plate aside, feeling that he was in an endless cycle of emotional limbo as he lost his appetite. All he wanted was to have you back in his life, but that was a decision only you could make, and it was driving him insane.

"Can you both stop?" Joel interfered, his voice firm. "I don't need you two fighting over something that was my mistake."

Tommy and Lily fell silent, their expressions softening with concern. They exchanged a glance before Lily spoke, her tone gentler now. "Joel, Tommy is worried about you. We can see how much you're hurting."

Joel nodded, acknowledging their concern. "I know. Thanks for looking out for me, but this is something I have to figure out with Bee. If she needs time, I'll give her time, even if it kills me”

Tommy, understanding his brother's feelings, nodded in agreement. "You're right, Joel. We'll be here for you, no matter what."

Joel appreciated their support, but he couldn't help but wish that you would break the silence and give him some clarity about your feelings. The uncertainty was becoming almost unbearable.

Joel continued going back to the moments you'd had, your most recent overwhelming argument, and your decision to take some time apart. He wished he could break the stillness and tell you how much he loved you. He wasn't just driven by the desire to fix his mistake; he also wanted to repair a relationship that had been harmed due to his commitment.

He felt more anxious with each passing day, his longing for your presence almost unnerving. The gap between you required to be filled with understanding, trust, and reconciliation.

He'd been on edge for days, spending his days recovering from the accident, alone when Sarah departed for school, with only a painful silence echoing in the back of his mind, waiting for any sign from you.

When the doorbell rang one hour later, he felt a rush of hope running through his body, thinking that maybe you had finally come to him to talk things through. He rushed to the door and opened it, only to find you standing there with a serious expression and small envelope in your hand.

"Joel," you said before he had a chance to say something "I've come to give you this."

He was taken aback, expecting an emotional talk rather than a monotonous tone leaking through your voice, indicating an absence of enthusiasm.

You didn't even look like yourself; you were painted in grey shades.

"What's that?" he asked.

You handed him the envelope containing the money he had paid Connell for your shop behind your back "I don't need anything from you, Joel. Not your pity, not the idea that you own me because you bought my shop. I can take care of myself."

Joel's face contorted with an array of emotions as he was taken aback by your words. "Bee, it's not about that. I—"

But you cut him off, your frustration evident in your voice. "Joel, you can't just buy something I love, throw your money at my back, or kiss me and expect everything to be fine." You won't be able to buy your way back into my life."

He struggled to hold back his anger in the midst of your stubbornness any longer. "I'm not attempting to bribe my way in, Bee. I thought I was showing how much I cared, how much I was willing to do to in order to make things right."

Your eyes were filled with rage. "What?" you ask. "You thought that once I found out you were the one buying my shop, I was going to run back to you?" "That I was going to be over heals for you?" you hit him in the chest.

Joel's rage and pain welled up within him. He tried to narrow the gap between you and make amends, but every step he took appeared to push you farther away. In an outburst of rage, he cried out, "What do you want from me, Bee?" "How long will it take for us to get things right?"

You shook your head, the annoyance clear in your voice. "You can't expect grand gestures to fix everything." It takes time, effort, and faith to repair what has been damaged."

"All right," he said, taking a step closer to you and leaning in closer. "If you despise me that much, leave!" "Leave as you said you were going to"

You stared at him agape, your own anger rising at him. His words stung.

Joel's remarks had hurt deep, and you couldn't deny that you had been holding resentment and rage. But his closeness, his intensity, made you feel weak "Maybe you want to go back to what we used to be, all the fighting, all the cursing," he whispered in your ear, "Maybe you loved that."

The harsh tone of his words caught you off guard. Your feelings for one other were a tangled knot of love, anger, impatience, and hurt.

You were drawn in by his dark gaze, and you cupped his face firmly feeling the warmth of the skin beneath your fingertips. The rage remained, but beneath it was an obvious spell that kept you together.

"Shut up," you commanded, your stare locked on his, his lips inches from yours, his breath against your mouth.

"Make me," he challenged you, staring you in the eyes.

Joel's dare hung in the air, challenging you to break the distance dividing you, to let go of your rage and fury, and eventually give in to the magnetic pull that had always been between you.

You crashed both of your lips with not a single word, going into an intense kiss. It was laced with desire and frustration against each other, the climax of all the tension that had been building over the weeks you were together once and three months apart. Your lips moved eagerly together, each of you pouring all of your feelings into the kiss.

And now that his arm was healed, he clutched your hips and push you against the door, without intentions of stopping devouring your mouth in this hungry kiss. Your arms found their way to his neck to tangle into his locks, and Joel groaned into your mouth.

"You fucking idiot," you muttered between kisses, but he bit your bottom lip to silence you as his hands moved from your hips to your bum and to your waist, drawing you closer to him. His lips started kissing your neck until they found your mouth once more, you whimpered against his mouth.

His hands found the gem in your top and yanked it off. He'd spent the last three months longing to see you like this again, and now he was on cloud nine.

"Bedroom," he whispered softly, not breaking the kiss.

Once you stepped in his room, you were lying on your back with him on top, taking your lips back to his again.

You placed your arms around his neck and opened your legs so he could go closer to you, moaning at the sensation of him against where you wanted him most.

"This doesn't mean anything," you whispered as he ground his hips against yours, sending electricity running through your body.

"Shut up," he said, and you chuckled, grabbing his pants.

"Make me," you said, with a smirk on your face just like he did minutes ago.

He groaned into the skin of your neck, yanking his jeans and underwear off. Your gentle grasp on him caused him to whimper.

He drew you closer to him by your hips as you continued to devour one other, his hands going under the denim skirt you were wearing.

You knew this was bad, that allowing him to do these types of things with you was a show of weakness, but you couldn't stop the joy and the dazzling fireworks traveling up to your lower stomach were stronger than your thoughts. You were utterly out of breath, and you wanted him so bad it ached that you felt your lungs would catch fire. 

You couldn't really comprehend what he was saying on the skin of your chest because your mind was consumed by the overwhelming desire to have him as you needed right now.

You couldn't really comprehend what he was saying on the skin of your chest because your mind was consumed by the overwhelming desire to have him as you needed right now.

He paused kissing you and spreading kisses on your chest for a moment to gaze at your parted lips and your chest rising and falling as a result of him, and he couldn't lie, he felt proud of his lasting control over you.

"Are you going to keep looking or are you going to f-"

You couldn't finish before he snatched your lips back, dragging you around his waist and grinding himself against you, making you moan against his lips. With such want, you could feel the aching growing up between your tights.

"You don't seem so mad at me right now, do you?" he huskily whispered in your ear, making your knees weak.

Before you could fire your retort, his fingers teasingly pulled your underwear down, careful to avoid where you wanted him the most. He seemed to be having a good time and enjoying every second of you squirming under him. Your head fell back to the bed, a gentle but irritated murmur from your lips. When he saw your reaction, he smiled, and you felt the delicate touch of his fingers stroking across your core.

"Oh," you whimpered, out of breath.

His soft lips caressed every single area of your skin on your chest, just over your red bra, with an agonizing slowness that made you insane and roll your eyes of pure pleasure. The one he unhooked with one hand so swiftly you gasped, a sound drowned out by the sensation of his lips over your nipples while he continued to pound on you at your core.

He greets you with a laugh, his cheeks exposing his dimples, and his eyes shining at the sight of you.

"Stop teasing, you idiot," you grumbled.

He sucked on a nipple, causing your back to arch as he gripped your hips to the bed before meeting your eyes, absorbing every inch of your face lost in the joy of the moment, stroking your checks with his thumb.

As he grabbed for a condom from his bedside table, you grip the gem of his t-shirt to remove it, leaving no barrier between the two of you.

He moved between your tights, spreading them apart once more, and welcomed himself into you. You hadn't had him since that night when you confessed to him, and he felt even bigger than you remembered, and you both gasped when he began thrusting inside. He pushed his forehead against your neck, kissing you softly over the skin.

"You're amazing like this," he said into your ear, "God I could just-"

He could complete it since he focused solely on making you pleased picking up his pace and thrusting quicker. He was completely inside you, feeling like he was breaking down your defenses as he pushed it on and on. You were out of breath, and all the air in your lungs didn't feel quite enough. You bucked your hips, allowing him to move even more quickly. And that's exactly what he did, giving you everything you asked for.

As your nails left red lines on his naked back and he thrust his hips harder into you, you could feel the heat spreading all over your body, like diesel meeting fire, causing an imminent explosion.

You struggled to breathe, but it didn't matter since the surge of ectasis he gave you was enough to make you feel alive. His finger traced the patterns over you, leaving hot flames all over your skin, and you clutched him, trying to appreciate this closeness before it was ripped away.

And he continued to rock into you. The sounds you both produced were completely hot, forcing your blood to rush into your checks as you continued to toss your head back to give him permission to mark the skin of your neck.

"Fuck you," you said in ecstasy,

"you’re doing it, love" he retorted.

You grasped for his hair to hold him tight against your lips, kissing the warm skin under his ear as if you wanted him to hear you, panting for air, feeling your climax come so close that you trembled against his body. Not long after, your world spun around you, and you tightened your grip on his waist, feeling the release as you cursed in his ear, forcing him to release after you. His push grew sloppy, sending small sparks up your tights, till he came to a halt and you saw a delicious sight.

He kissed your temple for a few seconds longer, enjoying the sweat drips on your skin. Finally, you looked into his eyes. His brow eyes' delicate brightness sent thrills down your spine, leaving you with a lump in your throat.

 Joel chuckled as he caressed your warm face, his touch on your skin radiating affection. All of the tension and resentment that led you to have sex before disappeared into the void.

"You don't have to go anywhere," he leaned in, his lips brushing against your brow. You're exactly where you should be."

You closed your eyes, appreciating his proximity and the soothing sound of his voice. “How can I trust you?”

Joel's lips lingered on your forehead as he replied, his words filled with sincerity, "Because when I hold you like this, it's where I find peace and meaning, Bee. I was a fool not to see it then. It took almost losing you to realize I'm in love with you."

Your eyes met his, and for a moment, everything seemed to align. The honesty in his confession left you breathless. The anger, the passion, and the pain you both had shared had led you to this moment, where the love you had for each other was undeniable.

Your heart ached at his words "Joel, it's not that simple. There's so much we need to work through, so much we need to rebuild."

He nodded, his thumb brushing lightly against your cheek. "I know, Bee”

Joel rested his forehead against yours, enveloping the both of you in comfortable silence.

“Can you give me my clothes, please?” You asked breaking the atmosphere

With a heavy heart, Joel nodded and reluctantly pulled away from you.

He moved to take your clothes from the ground of his bedroom and handed them to you. The air between you felt charged. The lust, and passion you felt for each other leaded you to crossed the line once again, this time, being the anger, the main feeling holding you together.

“You don’t have to go now, you know that?” he pleaded,

You avoid looking into his eyes, you knew you were weak for the man and you could fall for his words.

“I know, but I need to” you answered, as you quickly dressed, convincing yourself, you didn’t want to give yourself so easily to him again.

"Can you give me my clothes, please?" You spoke, breaking the comfortable silence between you two. 

Joel nodded, involuntarily breaking away from you, with a heavy heart.

He took your clothes from the floor of his bedroom and handed them to you. The space between you now felt tense again. The lust and passion you had for each other drove you to cross the boundary once more, but this time with fury as the main feeling holding you together.

"You don't have to go now, you know that?" He begged,

You avoid looking into his eyes because you know that you were vulnerable for him and you might be persuaded by his words.

"I know, but I have to," you replied as you hurriedly dressed, assuring yourself that you didn't want to give yourself so easily to him.

Joel sat there silently watching you, his eyes full with love and need for you. He knew what had just happened was fueled by rage and desire, and that didn't mean you were okay with him. It would be difficult to repair your connection.

You turned to face Joel as you finished dressing. "I need some time, Joel." Time to reflect, heal, and figure out where we stand."

“It was good by the way” you addressed smiling at him, referring to what you’d had “But it doesn’t mean I want to be with you right now."

With those words, you made your way to his bedroom door.

“And what was that back at the hospital when I got into the accident?” he asked before you left, “Would you rather for me to be dead or what?”

You came to a halt as his words impacted you like a punch in the gut. You turned back to face Joel, your rage returning.

"That's not fair, Joel," you replied, your voice shaking with emotion. "You know I would rather die than lose you like that".

"Then why are you so scared?" he questioned, reaching for you once more.

Tears welled up in your eyes as you struggled to fight the oncoming storm of emotions. "Because I'm not just afraid of losing you." I'm afraid I'll lose myself again. "I'm afraid of getting hurt." You let out a sigh. "You led me on back then, how can I trust you again?"

Joel took a step closer, his voice desperate. "I promise not to hurt you again, Bee." I've learned from my errors. Give us a chance to make things right."

You shook your head, unable to find the appropriate words. "Joel, I need more than promises. I need time for healing and rebuild trust. That is a process that cannot be rushed."

Joel sagged his shoulders and ran a hand through his hair, clearly distressed. "I'm at a loss for words, Bee. I love you and will do everything for you."

You took a step back, putting distance between you two. "Joel, love is more than just saying the words. It's all about showing it through actions."

You turned and walked away from Joel, leaving him with a broken heart and a need that mirrored your own.

You had taken refuge in your own peace a week later, evaluating your alternatives in all facets of your life. What were you going to do with your work, yourself, and even Connell, since despite his assurances that he would never hate you, you own him more than you realize.

And on the opposite side, there was Joel. He had expressed his love for you, but you had learned that words are insufficient in this instance. You knew it would take time to reestablish confidence. But as time passed, you couldn't help but miss him even more than you did the first time. He had a tremendous power over you. The times you spent together, the laughter, the shared moments, and how he taught you to fall in love again.

You remembered that night at the gallery when he showed you the drawing he had made of you. When he first caressed the skin of your body, leaving his mark on you.

Deep down, you knew that love was a tricky and imperfect emotion that didn't always follow a straight line. Despite your concerns, you wished to give Joel another chance.

A knock on the door broke through your thoughts. You jumped up from the couch, cautiously approaching the door. When you opened it, you were surprised to see Lauren standing on your porch. She looked concerned, her gaze avoiding direct contact with yours.

"Lauren, what are you doing here?" "How do you know where I live?" you wondered. Your tone was a mix of surprise and curiosity.

Lauren took a big breath and looked you in the eyes. "I need to speak with you. "Can I come in?"

You hesitated for a second before stepping aside and allowing her to enter. She entered your living room and sat, her posture eager and apprehensive.

You joined her on the couch after closing the door behind her. "What's this about, Lauren?"

Lauren looked at you, her eyes searching for understanding. “I know our first encounter wasn’t friendly, and I want to apologize. I’m truly sorry for the way I acted”

Lauren's honesty in her eyes was not lost on you. You were afraid she was coming to tell you she was now with Joel, which could break your heart.

Lauren continued "And I'm really ashamed of this but I think you should forgive Joel"

You took a big breath, unsure what to say. Lauren's apologies caught you off guard, and you were at a loss for words. "I appreciate your apology, Lauren," you said after a little pause. It means a lot to me." "But Joel isn't a topic I want to discuss with you," you said timidly.

"It is," she replied. "I know you weren't together. He told me."

Your pupils dilated, and you couldn't help but feel embarrassed.

"And yes, at first I wanted to be with him," she admitted. "I wanted my family back, but it's too late now." And I have to thank Sarah for accepting me back into her life after what I did, but Joel? will never love me again."

"Why are you so sure?" you questioned, your tone tense.

"Because he has been in love since the beginning."

"The eyes, he had been looking at you with such adoration, neither I had those eyes looking at me like that."

You were out of breath, and a knot formed in your throat.

"No, that's not-"

"You love him too," she said, "and let me tell you something, the years I lost with Sarah?" I'm not going to get them back. So, if you and Joel truly love each other, don't waste more time."

Lauren's sudden comments stunned you while also leaving you conflicted. Her apology for her prior behavior was a step toward peacemaking, but her admissions regarding Joel and his sentiments caught you off guard.

You paused before responding, your mind racing, "I'm not sure I want to get hurt again."

She nodded in agreement, and he dug inside her purse for something, that turned out to be a journal.

She nodded in understanding, and then he reached for something inside her bag for something, it was a journal.

“I stole this from Joel. I think you should take a look” she laughed, giving the journal to you.

“I just don't want to see you both miss out on something beautiful because of fear or doubts. Life's too short for regrets."

You looked at her with a mixture of gratitude and uncertainty. "I need time, Lauren, to figure things out and heal. I'll consider what you've said, though. Thank you for your apology and for your concern."

Lauren smiled warmly at you “Good luck” she said.

You couldn't help but stare at the book in your hands as you saw Lauren leave your house.

The journal she had given you caught your curiosity, and you couldn't stop yourself from opening it to find out what was inside.

You started flipping the pages, knowing it was Joel's journal. The entries spanned several years ago, from the years you arrived here, and reading them made you feel touched by the depth of his feelings and the journey he had been on. The pages were crammed with his ideas, hopes, and dreams, many of which were centered on you.

Joel had written about the day you two first met and the times he had spent with you, but it was the drawings of you that grabbed your attention.

"The pretty florist next to my gallery looking at her flowers"

"The florist in her environment, framed by a floral tapestry."

"The pretty florist, a captivating muse for my brush and canvas."

All of the entries were from the last four years.

However, the most recent one, from a year ago,

"the florist who stole my heart"

And you realized Joel had been loving you long before you had feelings for him.

a/n: Okay, so you know things may get better between them...

tags 💌: @joeldjarin @borhapparker @fatima-marisa @kirsteng42 @paleidiot @harriedandharassed @runningmom94 @pedr0swh0r3 @ssacharcoalgrey @missladym1981

[petertingle-yipyip]

NEVER FELT SO ALONE - MARC SPECTOR

Pairing: Marc x Reader

Word Count: 2,579

Summary (Request): hey!! i just finished moon knight and was wondering if can request a marc spector x reader fic or basically all of the moon knight boys where marc cheats on the reader so she doesnt get hurt and by cheating on her there would be no questions or suspicions coming from the reader n all. (basically same way how marc tries to divorce layla but she ended up finding out the truth in d end) angst with happy ending pls <33

//i don’t like cheating tropes so i didn’t actually have marc cheat and also… marc spector brainrot. love it. him and matty have permanent spaces in my brain//

“He’s been gone too long.” You paced your living room with your phone in your hand.

You were speaking to yourself, of course, given that your boyfriend was out on the town yet again doing God knew what. You knew he kept secrets, he always had. Just getting him to talk about what music he liked or what movies he liked was like pulling teeth. But of course, it wasn’t always like that. There were more goods than bads so you were willing to put up with his distance and fight and poke and prode to get him to tell you something of substance because he knew you.

He loved to hear you talk about your life. Your childhood, family and friends, work. He liked to hear you talk about your favorite shows and books, ranting about what stupid things your beloved fictional characters were doing and how you knew they were smarter than that. He asked you about school and sometimes brought food to your campus if he had time before he disappeared on some job. He’d leave a few hidden notes before he left too - usually under your pillow, in your wallet, and under your favorite bowl. You once found a note between pages of your book, his own anticipation of how far you’d get while he was gone.

Problem this time around was that there were no notes this time. There was no text or voicemail. There was no explanation. Admittedly, it happened sometimes. Sometimes it was so sudden he didn’t have time to let you know anything, but even then, he was never gone that long.

This time around, before he left, you noticed some odd things. You noticed more hushed conversations, hidden phone messages, darting glances, looking over his shoulder. He spoke even less than usual, as if he was building a wall between you two. Looking to put distance. You noticed his phone was being turned off when he left the house and a few times during his absence, you could’ve sworn you’d seen him running into the local museum.

Usually you could shrug off his odd behavior because, overall, Marc Spector was an odd man. You knew his life had been challenging and naturally, it closed him off in some regards. But shutting you out completely, going radio silence at the drop of a hat, that just wasn’t like him.

So you did some digging.

Given his phone was off, you couldn’t track any sort of locations from there. You didn’t know who he worked with when he left, save for one woman named Layla who was often as off grid as he was, so you couldn’t ask anyone. He hardly talked about family and you weren’t even sure he had friends other than you so that was a dead end. The only real starting point you had was that museum.

When your last class ended, you hopped on the crowded bus and headed over. You were welcomed by the man at the front security booth and wandered the vast space. You had to squeeze past tour groups and couples on dates, kids running around with novelty swords and replica headpieces. You squeezed between people until you found a bench that allowed you to breathe, despite the heavy crowd. You hadn’t expected it to be quite as busy and you were so tired. Just as you were about to give up, you saw him.

The spitting image of the man you loved. Only his clothes were different, baggier and plainer. His curls fell across his forehead more and he seemed to hold hismelf shorter than Marc. Maybe it wasn’t him after all.

You sighed to yourself and headed towards the exit, catching a small snippet of his voice. It was softer, tinted with an almost fake accent, with more inflictions than Marc had. You shook your head slightly as you headed out, trying to clear the idea of the doppleganger from your head but the notion seemed to keep you around the museum. You found yourself sitting on the steps outside, near a streetlight so you could try some of the assignment you needed to finish. You hadn’t even realized how long you had been there until your headphones beeped in your ears that their battery was low.

As you were putting the headphones into your bag, you noticed Marc’s doppelganger heading to the nearby bus stop. He noticed you at the same time and made his way over to you, which made your body run hot for a moment.

“Hello.” He smiled slightly. “I, uh- I saw you inside. Can I ask why you’re still out here?”

“Yeah, it looks a little weird, huh?” You laughed, trying to contain the whirlwind of thoughts set off by the man’s voice. It was so strange to hear such a soft, relatively hesitant tone coming from a face that you knew to be much more confident. “I just thought I saw someone I’ve been looking for… Turns out it wasn’t him.”

“Old friend?”

“Boyfriend, actually.”

“Oh…” He nervously wrung his hands and you almost laughed at how out of character that movement seemed. “Wait, why are you looking for your boyfriend?”

“No reason.” You shrugged. “Just thought I saw him.”

“Right… Well, are you alright to get home? It’s not like a… “we’re in a fight and he kicked me out” situation?”

At that, you did laugh.

“I’m alright, thanks.” You shook your head with a smile. “But if you hear about a guy named Marc coming around, tell him Y/N needs to talk to him, yeah?”

“Marc? Uh.. Alright, yeah. Yeah, okay. You said Y/N?”

“Mhmm…”

“Have we…”

Your brows raised while the gears turned in his head. His eyes darted around your face, down to your clothes and back to your eyes while he tried to put the pieces together. He opened his mouth to say something before he shook his head, seemingly confusing himself in the process. 

“You okay over there?” You asked carefully, leaning in slightly for your own examination.

“Yeah, just… I don’t know. Deja vu maybe.”

“Hmm.” You nodded and leaned away. “What’s your name, anyway?”

“Steven.” He tapped the pocket of his jacket and you saw a little pinsized hole for where you assumed his nametag usually sat. “Steven Grant.”

“Cool.” You said simply. But you recognized that name as one of the characters that Marc told you about, from one of the things he used to watch with his brother that turned into their own little roleplaying game. And maybe it was a coincidence but something was strange. “See you around, Steven.”

“Bye, Y/N.”

A few days went by before you saw him again. You had tried going by the museum but he wasn’t there. You even asked the man who watched the cameras and he said that Steven - though he called him by some unrelated name - hadn’t been in since the night you met him. You were at another dead end.

You wandered the streets when you got a vague text with an address. It was an unknown number and the relatively common text style gave you no clues. Automatically you assumed it was Marc from a burner phone. Who else would it have been? With as much of a hurry as you could without drawing extra attention, you made your way to the apartment.

You gave a quick knock to the door and it popped open, seemingly on its own since no one was on the other side to greet you. You wandered the cramped space, finding a bed in the center of a sand circle, books stacked on books on every table, a small trashcan overflowing with crumpled balls of tape, A vast fishtank stood in the middle of the room and you leaned in to see the fish, a small thing missing a fin, and caught glimpse of the man watching you from the other side. His near sudden appearance made you jump and bump your head against the glass.

You mumbled an apology to the fish as he scurried to another corner of the tank and you stood straighter.

“You’re the one who texted me?” You asked simply, not wanting to take a guess if it was Marc or Steven that stood before you.

“Yeah.” He said in the same plain tone and you didn’t catch any accent. It was definitely Marc. “Heard you were looking for me.”

“Wouldn’t have to look if you would’ve told me where you were going or that you were alive, at least.”

“”Yeah... I never meant to worry you.”

“Clearly.” Your brows raised quickly. “Nice place.”

“It’s not mine.”

You made a small noise in your throat before wandering the space a bit more. You peaked through some of the books, finding a book of French poems by a woman who you knew Marc didn’t read. But someone Marc knew and worked with did.

“This Layla’s place?” You asked simply, swallowing the rising bile in your throat.

“Layla?” He asked, arms crossing over his chest but not moving from his spot. “What makes you say that?”

“The French poems.” You said honestly. “Not to mention all the Egyptian stuff, you having a fake accent and working at the museum in the Egypt wing… It’s a lot to do just to be a good partner.”

“Right… Look, about all of that..”

“You didn’t answer my question.” You cut in firmly.

“I’m trying to.”

“No you’re not. You’re avoiding. You’re choosing a piece of what I said rather than the actual important part.”

“This isn’t Layla’s place, okay?” He rolled his eyes slightly.

“So this is your place?”

“Sort of.”

“Sort of.” You repeated with a scoff. “Right. So, what, it belongs to that fake persona I talked to a few nights ago.”

“Fake?”

“Steven. Come on, that accent? And he’s named after that thing you told me from you and your brother… Did you think I was stupid?”

“What do you think is going on?” His brows furrowed.

“Well, I have a couple working theories.” You said with a shrug as you dropped to sit on the edge of the bed. “One is that you’ve been cloned. You know the American government, doing experiments with soldiers and not telling them.”

That one made Marc chuckle.

“Not a clone, baby.” He smirked. “But keep going.”

“Okay, good to know.” You nodded. “Second is that you’re just working.”

“That all?”

“Well there’s the idea that you’re cheating on me but…”

“But what?”

“But if that was true then I’d have to leave your ass and I don’t really want to do that. Which is why you’re gonna tell me right now if that’s the case or not.”

“And who would this mystery woman be?”

“Layla.” You shrugged.

“Layla?” His brows raised incredulously, almost insulted that you would say that.

“You have her favorite poet on your desk, Marc. You two constantly go off on little excavations and jobs. She’s cute, fiery, not afraid of challenge, just your type really. Not to mention, you’ve been pretty close since you met.”

“You know why we met.”

“Yeah but did you ever tell her? I bet she wouldn’t fuck you if she knew you killed her dad.”

“Wow.” His eyes went wide. “You had that one ready, didn’t you?”

“Well you’ve been gone for a while. I had some time to come up with some good ones.”

“Y’know what…” He pushed his tongue against his cheek with a small scoff, as if something just came to him. “Yeah.. Yeah, I’ve been sleeping with Layla. Every time I ‘go to work’ I’m just meeting with her.”

“Hmm, funny.” You offered a sarcastic expression. “Just tell me what’s really going on.”

“I just did.”

“And I don’t believe you.”

“Course you don’t.” He mumbled and ran a hand down his face.

“Wanna say that again?” You challenged sharply, daring to close the distance between you two. You glared up at him, ignoring the fact that the height difference made you less intimidating than you were aiming for, but you stuck to your guns. “Or do you want to say something else?”

“I love you.” He put his hands on your shoulders and turned you around. “But there’s the door.”

“You son of a bitch.” You twisted out of his grip and spun again to face him. “You don’t get to kick me out after you tell me you’re cheating.”

“You’re the one that said you’d walk out.” He shrugged.

“If you two shack up here, then I'm sure she has some clothes here. Bathroom products, maybe. Toothbrush? Hair brush? She’s gotta have some underwear here at least, right?” You kept pushing as you stepped deeper into the small apartment in an effort to mate Marc couldn’t throw you out.

“Y/N.” He sighed and followed after you.

“Just tell me the truth.” You stopped and spun quickly to face him, almost colliding with his chest as he was coming up behind you. “Because I’ve never felt so alone. These few weeks without you have been like my world is falling apart. It’s gut-wrenching to wake up without you. No calls, no texts, no little notes around my place…”

His heart twisted when he realized how much he had been hurting you.

“You’re right… I’m not cheating on you.” He admitted with a sigh as his eyes fell to the ground.

You breathed a small sigh of relief and reached out to take his hands in yours. His thumbs ran back and forth along the backs of your hands. You gave them a small squeeze and he managed to meet your eyes again.

“I… Jesus, this is gonna sound nuts.” He sighed.

“I'm listening, Marc.” You said softly.

“You won’t believe me.” He shook his head.

“I believe you love me. And I love you. I believe you thought you were being noble and protecting me, but I always feel safer and more protected when you’re with me. Just be honest and we can work it out.”

“I serve Khonshu.” He said suddenly, as if it was his only chance to get the words out. “He saved my life before I met you and my servitude is how I repay that debt.”

“Khonshu…” You repeated, an expression of uncertainty on your face. “Is that the Egyptian moon god that looks like a bird version of Jack Skelingtion?”

At that, he chuckled and it brought a small smile out of you.

“Pretty much.” He laughed and nodded.

“And Steven?”

“That’s a longer story.”

“So let’s go home. I’ll make some food and we can talk about it.”

“You sure?” He gave your interlocked hand a small pull so you were chest to chest. He guided your hands to rest on his shoulders while his found their place at your waist. “You’re about to find out how much of a trainwreck I really am.”

You shrugged slightly. “Good thing I’m in it for the long run. I’m gunning for your last name eventually so I better buckle up, huh?”

“God, I love you.” He grinned.

[cacoetheswriting]

celebrity skin. (part three)

pairing: rockstar!eddie munson x popstar!fem!reader word count: 5.8k summary: eddie finds a way to distract you.

content warnings: 18+, minors dni: smut with a plot, suggestive & mature themes, adult language, oral (m receiving), unprotected p in v sex (pls wrap it before you tap it), praise kink, slight degradation, heavy use of various pet names, oblivious idiots in love, mentions of minor character death, mentions of drug consumption, a little family drama, situational anxiety — if i missed anything, pls let me know!

psa: images used in the header don’t depict readers physical attributes! these are also described vaguely in the story, only that she’s a little shorter than eddie.

celebrity skin. masterlist

From the moment you became a household name, your life was a never ending circus.

Frankly, oftentimes it didn’t even feel like your life anymore. An act of sorts, and you were closer resembling a puppet on a string than a human being. Dancing when they told you to dance, singing when they told you to sing. Smile. Wave. Act a certain way. Be polite. Wear this. Go here. 

You could probably count on one hand the number of experiences since your rise to fame that actually made you feel human and more than half of those are thanks to a certain rockstar by the name of Eddie Munson.

Although your time with Eddie had so far been extremely brief, the curly-haired rockstar made you feel things you have only ever dreamt possible.

His cute crooked smile. His perfectly brown doe-eyes. The way he said your name. How he made you laugh. His delicate touch and the way he seemed to know every pressure point your body had to offer. It was intoxicating. He was intoxicating. 

And for a measly twelve hours, he was just yours, making you feel human.

Given the way everything played out between the two of you over these last few months, foolishly, you thought you’d get to keep him a secret from the rest of the world for just a little while longer — making up for lost time, and whatnot. Unfortunately, whoever took that picture and sold it to the tabloids clearly didn’t care, and why would they? In that moment, as they snapped the photo of a private conversation, whether your relationship with Eddie was real or fake, didn’t matter. Money mattered. Money always matters more.

“It’s gonna be okay, you know?” Eddie says, steering you away from your thoughts. He glances in your direction before focusing back on the road ahead. “Nothin’ the smart people we have hired can’t figure out.”

You look at him, a sad expression on your face. “In your own words, good for your career, bad for mine.”

Eddie scrunches his nose, faking a moment of contemplation. In reality, in the last few hours alone, he’s replayed that very first conversation with you about a hundred times. He was only joking around back then, but considering the language used on the front page of that lousy paper, and every other tabloid that followed, was clearly favouring him and disapproving towards you, his point was proven. And that only made his blood boil more.

“Doesn’t sound like me, sweetheart.” He’s trying to keep things lighthearted and the slight tease almost gets you to smile. Almost.

Instead, you let out a defeated sigh and lift your feet, placing them on the edge of the passenger seat before wrapping your arms around your legs and resting your chin on your knee.

“Guess we were never supposed to do this right.”

Eddie’s heart aches at your words. He doesn't like seeing you like this. He hated it yesterday at the studio after you saw each other again, before he got a chance to apologise, but he’s hating it even more now since there’s really nothing he can do aside from finding that fucker who took the picture and beating some sense into them — which would most likely only make the situation worse.

Then there’s the fear. Eddie can feel it, creeping and waiting to take him over whole at any given moment. He’s trying to push it down, remain positive and shit, because he knows nothing good can come from giving into feeling scared. But when he catches your gaze, he’s fucking terrified. There’s a sadness behind your eyes he’s really hoping isn’t accompanied by regret.

“It’s gonna be okay,” Eddie repeats his earlier sentiment while reaching over to take your hand in his and giving it a gentle squeeze. This time, he’s also reminding himself.

A rather uncertain silence settles in the air. You stare blankly at the road ahead, thankful for the LA traffic as it lets you spend a little more alone time with the boy you so desperately like, but hating it at the same time since this could quite possibly be the last moment you share before the chaos unfolds further. That feels wrong to you.

Eddie deserves better than every other fling you had, caught crudely by the paparazzi and making headlines worldwide. Difference between this particular rockstar and the trail of dates you left behind prior to meeting him was that you actually cared. You cared about him, wishing that was enough to get you both through this mess, but unfortunately you also cared about what the general public thought of your romance. Their opinion mattered as it would most likely dictate how this would play out with your respectable labels and management teams.

The rockstar also wants to get over this hurdle. He meant what he said about doing this right and he’s nothing if not a man of his word — especially when it comes to pretty girls that effortlessly occupy his mind, his heart, and make his dick hard. You tick all those boxes and about a thousand more.

“Hey,” you tilt your head to look at him. He meets your gaze and raises a brow, urging you to continue. “Is there somewhere we could go before meeting Marianne at the studio?”

“Anywhere, baby.”

“Someplace private. I think I need to feel normal for a little while longer before we’re met with our fate.”

Eddie chuckles at your dramatic choice of words, heart growing fonder ‘cause it seems he’s met his match. “Like Michael Corleone.”

You furrow your brows. “Who?”

He gasps, sporting a shocked expression. “The Godfather?”

“Never seen it.”

“Oh, baby, you wound me.”

You finally smile and Eddie swears his heart is going to burst. Yeah, he’s certain now he’s too far gone to let anyone ruin whatever this was shaping up to be. His whole life consisted of sticking it to the man and he wasn’t about to stop any time soon, especially since his first chance at real happiness was at stake.

-

“Eddie, I don’t think a record store is exactly private.”

He huffs out a laugh and without saying anything, jumps out of the car. Feeling a little unnerved, you remain in your seat, following him instead with your gaze until he’s at the passengers side and opening the door for you, like the gentleman you were beginning to learn he was.

“Don’t worry, sweets. It’s safe,” Eddie reassures as he reaches out a hand for you to take, “I promise.”

You exhale and nod. “Okay.”

So he helps you out of the car, kicking the door shut before throwing one arm around your shoulder and guiding you towards the entrance of the shop. From the outside, it looks like every average record store. You’ve been to enough of them in New York, back when no one recognised you, sifting through the albums for hours on end, in search of inspiration.

“How do you know it’s safe?” You ponder out loud, scanning the poster-covered window. At first glance, it seems he’s correct. There doesn’t seem to be anyone inside and you’re proven correct when Eddie retrieves a set of keys.

“‘Cause I own it.”

Seems as simple as that and it’s because of the nonchalant tone to his voice, you’re slightly taken aback. Though you don’t get to ask any specifics. He’s opening the door and his arm moves from your shoulders to your back, pushing you gently forward, as he continues.

“Welcome to the unofficial Corroded Coffin record store.”

A smile threatens to breach your lips as your eyes dart across the space. The first word that comes to mind is messy. There are boxes of records in every possible corner of the room. Completely unorganised as the apparent ‘Rock’ section features vinyls by Louis Armstrong, and where the ‘Blues’ sign is dangling loosely, threatening to fall at any given moment, Madonna makes an appearance. There’s multiple stacks of discs that were most likely no longer going to play like they used to and every centimetre of the wall is covered in posters that have faded with time.

Eddie locks the door behind the two of you then proceeds to pull down any blinds that allow any passersby to take a peep inside. He flicks on the light which flickers for a moment before turning on and it’s then you turn to face him, taking in the proud grin spread across his features.

“What do you think?” He asks.

“How come you own a seemingly abandoned record store?” You counter, unsure of what you actually think ‘cause even though the place has a certain charm, there’s something about it that seems almost haunting.

Eddie smiles faintly. He looks down at the stacks of vinyls and drags his fingers across the dusty shelf, then wiping them on the denim of his ripped jeans. He sighs, eventually looking back up at you.

“The very first song we taped, we did so in Jeff’s garage back in Hawkins and used a ridiculously old recorder so the sound was beyond shit. We really just needed somethin’ to play quickly for the club owners we wanted to hit up once we came to LA, convince ‘em to let us perform even on the worst slot available.”

Eddie walks past you and sits up on the counter that once served as the till. He fidgets with the scattered items around him as you watch him, already enticed by the story. Thinking also how different of a start you two had in the music industry.

“Obviously because we sounded so shit on that pesky little tape, no one wanted to work with us so we all decided to get different part-time jobs, save up some cash for a session at an actual studio. I ended up working in this wonderful little shop.” Eddie smiles at the memory and you can’t help but mimic his fond expression. “The owner was this older gentleman, Mr. Foley. He used to be a music teacher and when he retired, he used all the savings he had to buy this place. I was the only other person that worked here and ‘cause of the slow decline in vinyl sales, we used to just spend the days talking.”

Slowly, you cross the room and stop to the side of Eddie’s frame, brushing up against his leg. He glances at you then, brown eyes catching yours, and your heart flips inside of your chest.

“I don’t wanna bore you with all the details, sweetheart.”

“You’re not.”

Eddie smiles at you then continues, “So I told Mr. Foley, how I was in a band and what we were trying to do. He asked for the tape which at that point remained untouched in the glove compartment of my old van. The next day, when I came in for my shift, he had the tape playing and every time the song ended, Mr. Foley would rewind it and play it again.”

He pauses briefly, gaze shifting to your hand as he reaches for it, fingers grazing against your skin with such tenderness, you swear you’re going to melt. 

“You know, I never really did believe in luck,” he half-smirks, still looking at your hand and how every crease in your skin perfectly aligns with his own. “I started that day ‘cause about thirteen plays later, the shop door opened and in walked Marianne in all her badass glory. The rest, I guess, is history.”

His smile falters. “Mr. Foley passed a day before our debut album came out. He had no living family, but that didn’t stop my surprise when his lawyer called to say this place was now mine. Mr. Foley apparently amended his will two months before he died, making it very clear the store and everything inside was for ‘that good kid, Edward Munson’ with a note that said I don't have to keep it open, just clean it every so often and make sure any property taxes are paid on time.”

Silence falls upon you. Eddie’s squeezing your hand, only now his doe-eyes are back to staring deeply into yours. It’s a moment that feels surreal. A moment that makes you feel human, just like you wanted. And judging by the look in his eyes, the rockstar feels exactly the same way.

“That’s… Shit, I don’t know what to say.”

Eddie doesn’t seem to mind though. He tugs at your arm, pulling you closer in his direction and spreading his legs wider apart so that you could slide in between them. His hands move to each side of your neck, pinkies brushing along your jawline, as you wrap your own arms behind his back, palms spreading across the leather of his jacket.

“You’re the only person I’ve ever brought here,” he states in a tone dangerously close to a murmur.

“Well, I’m honoured.”

He’s smiling again, only this time it’s different. The curl of his lips, the dips in his cheeks, the glimmer in his eyes, all reminiscent of the cockiness he displayed the first night you met. And the longer he smiles at you like that, the more you think back to the moment in his bathroom, causing your stomach to flutter and heat rush to your face as well as the space between your legs.

You quiver against him and he bites down on his bottom lip as his smile grows. He seriously feels like the luckiest son of a bitch on the planet and all he’s doing is looking at you. It’s insane to him, how a little privacy and that picture-perfect beam you’re currently sporting, makes all the problems of the real world seem fucking unimportant. Left behind on the other side door of the record store you two were currently hiding in. 

Obviously that couldn’t have been further from the truth, but right at this moment, Eddie didn’t care about the stupid tabloids or the gossip. He didn’t care about the reaction of the general public or your management team. He didn’t care that there was a chance the two of you would be told to end things before they develop further. He didn’t care about anything but the girl that stood in front of him.

So Eddie’s dipping his head lower and capturing your lips between his. The kiss is tentative and sweet, different from any kisses you’ve shared before and you’re softening under his touch with every passing second. His moves are calculated, deliberate, until he can’t contain himself any longer and the kiss is no longer tender. 

Your hands are in his hair as he’s jumping off the counter without breaking contact. He’s pulling you flush towards him by your neck since close was apparently not close enough and you can feel your nipples hardening against his chest as he grazes his blunt nails against your skin, heads tilting side to side with nothing but hunger.

“There’s a couch in the back,” Eddie whispers in between kisses.

A quiet chuckle escapes your lips. “Do you really wanna have sex on your dead boss's sofa?”

But he just shrugs. “I’ve done it in places much, much worse than that, sweets.” A sentence that earns him an eye roll from you. “Plus, not really keen on goin’ to the studio with a fucking hard-on.”

And before you get a chance to respond, he’s spinning you around. One arm trapping you against him, ass to crotch so that you can feel his growing erection. He smirks when you moan faintly at the sudden contact, mouth now at your ear where he whispers harshly how he can’t wait to fuck you so hard you’ll never forget about him. 

“My pretty girl,” he coos, leading you down the corridor, other hand on your waist, desperately tugging at your clothes. “Been thinkin’ nonstop about sticking my dick inside that delicate pussy.”

“I’m already sure I could never forget about you,” you whisper, relating back to his earlier point ‘cause you needed him to know that no matter what happens, you’re completely and undoubtedly his.

Eddie groans at your words, cock twitching in the prison that are his pants and boxers. He trails sloppy kisses along your jawline, tilting your head backwards so that he can catch your mouth in a desperate kiss. It’s heated and given your current position, rather sloppy — which only makes you squirm more. So with your eyes closed, lost in the pleasure that is his tongue dancing with yours, you stumble over your feet, trusting he can lead you to the couch in one piece.

“Fuck,” Eddie’s breathless already. He lets go of you for a split-second, only to remove his leather jacket and give you enough time to also take off your own, tossing it to the side, where he just discarded his.

Rotating in your spot, so that you were facing him once again, you offer the rockstar a mischievous smirk and drop to your knees without warning. Eddie doesn’t have time to react as you work to undo his belt buckle and then the zipper of his jeans. You only look up at him with your not-so-innocent eyes when you pull his pants down, along with his boxers, freeing his fully erect cock.

He groans, all throaty and deep, when you wrap your fingers around his base. In the same moment, you’re leaning forward and Eddie’s hands fly to the back of your head as you run your tongue around the rim of his throbbing manhood before wrapping your lips completely around it.

“Jesus Christ,” he swears when you start to suck, cheeks hollowed. You begin to bop your head, taking him deeper and deeper until his entire length is in your mouth, hitting the back of your throat. And when his grip on you tightens, cock twitching in your mouth, you quicken your pace and suck harder, wanting to devour him completely.

“Shit. Baby, I—”

Eddie feels like he’s floating. Huffing, puffing, and moaning your name like a prayer as his hips start to thrust, meeting your mouth a little too eagerly, making you gag and your eyes water. He hits the back of your throat several times, revelling in the control he so easily acquired, and you’re completely breathless, soaked between the thighs ‘cause you love the dominance he emits.

His groans are getting louder, the sound music to your ears. He pumps into you forcefully till it’s a struggle to keep up, and just when you swear you can’t take anymore, he pulls out without warning. A ring-clad hand is on your throat and he’s urging you to get back on your feet, which you do without question. 

His lips are on yours in a flash, free hand making its way between your short skirt, tugging at your panties until they fall to the ground beneath. Then Eddie tumbles backwards, eagerly pulling you along as his tongue further explores your mouth. He only breaks the kiss when his calves hit the edge of the sofa. 

“Shit, I-I don’t have any condoms on me.” Eddie mutters.

“I’m on the pill now,” you say then add, “Clean and tested too.”

“Same, otherwise I wouldn't have let you—”

“Shut up,” you whisper against his lips, pecking them softly as your hands rest flat against his chest. You push him ever so slightly and Eddie drops to the couch with a thud. But he doesn’t bother making himself comfortable. Instead, he’s reaching for you again, fingers wrapped around your wrist as you straddle him, your aching cunt now hovering over his throbbing cock.

You contemplate teasing him a little, rubbing your slit along his tip until he’s the one begging to be fucked. But Eddie doesn’t give you the chance. He’s shoving himself inside your impressively wet pussy and all you can do is exhale in pleasure, matching in tone Eddie’s visceral groan.

His eyes roll to the back of his head when he feels your cunt closing in around his dick as he slides back out, then again when he pushes back in nice and slow.

“God, baby, you take my dick so well.” Eddie grumbles, continuing to insert and remove the full length of his shaft from your glistening cunt, “It’s like you were made for me.”

And the look in your eyes tells him you agree — you were made for him, you’re sure of it. No one’s ever made you feel the way he does and no one ever will. The squelching between your thighs, where his cock met your cunt, is proof enough so you rock backwards, arching your spine, and put your hands on his outstretched legs.

“Oh shit, sweets.” Eddie breathes as you start rocking your hips, feeling his head hit that spot deep inside of you. “God, that feels so good. Don’t stop.”

You increase your speed, rotating on his member forward and backward, forward and backward, getting faster and faster and faster. He’s panting underneath you, hands on your chest, squeezing and kneading your breasts through the fabric of your designer tank top, and you’re whining, the wonderful sensation of being filled up completely doing everything to overwhelm you. 

“Mhm, you fill me up so good,” you moan pathetically, grinding against his pelvis until you reach a speed you can no longer sustain without getting completely winded.

Then in the space of a heartbeat, you start to move up and down, and Eddie watches you with nothing but lust in his eyes. America’s favourite starlet hopping on his dick, moaning breathlessly. It causes euphoric waves of pleasure to contract inside of him in the form of pre-orgasmic ecstasy. “Fucking— Christ.” 

He’s quick with his hands, pulling the garment over your head with ease and hosting himself up so that his lips are at your collarbone. He’s licking and biting along the sensitive skin, hands mounding the supple skin of your breasts, rings cold against your sensitive nipples. Your own hands were on his chest, using the leverage to put more pressure on your downward movements.

“Can my pretty girl go faster?” Eddie asks in a mocking tone, face now inches from yours. “Can my baby fuck me harder or do you want me to bend you over this fucking couch and show you how it’s fucking done?” He spits harshly, pulling your bottom lip between his teeth, then letting it go just as quick.

Your moans turn into cries of pleasure as you obey his request, bouncing hard upon him. He throws his head backwards, breathing heavily, eyes closed. He focuses on the feeling of your cunt clenching around his hard rod. Pussy contracting around his cock again and again and again. 

"Eddie, fuck!” You’re almost screaming now, arching your back as your insides start to burn, orgasm building in your chest and moving downward to your connection point. “I’m so fucking close— Jesus Christ.”

You bounce, burying his length entirely in your tight hole and grind against his pelvis one last time, his name sputtering from your lips as your orgasm hits. And while you ride that high, body jerking against him, Eddie forces you to collapse on his chest. His arms hold you steady as he picks up where you left off, thrusting deep into your aching cunt, chasing his own release.

“Shit, baby. That was so fucking hot,” he’s groaning in your ear. His moves are relentless and you feel like a ragdoll in the confines of his strained embrace. His cock, completely covered in your juices, is dipping in and out of you with such force, you swear he’s going to break through that wall he’s hitting at each thrust.

“I’m gonna cum deep inside of you, shit.”

“Please. Yes. Please, Eddie, please.”

The quiet begging is apparently all he needs ‘cause seconds later he’s spurting hot cum inside your cunt and you shudder at the feeling. His chest heaving, heart beating in tandem with yours, as he empties himself completely. “Fuck, baby.”

Finding comfort in the crook of the rockstars neck, you lay in his embrace for a moment longer, mind completely numb from reality. The liquid pours from your pussy as Eddie eventually lets his arms fall, though not completely. His fingers gently trace along your bare spine as you both catch your breaths.

It’s serene, even considering the nastiness of what the two of you just did. You find yourself wishing you could stay like this forever, lost in the wonderland that Eddie makes you experience simply by his proximity. Then you find yourself thinking how what you feel towards the curly-haired man underneath you is a lot stronger than anything you’ve ever experienced and perhaps, even though you still knew very little about him, you were falling in love— no, no.

Impossible. Too soon.

Thankfully, Eddie breaks you away from your thoughts.

“If they tell us not to see each other and we have to sneak around just to be able to do this, I think it’s worth every second,” he says eventually.

You huff out a laugh, sitting up slowly. “Way to ruin the moment,” you tease and lift yourself off him before fixing your tank top back over your now very tender breasts.

“So you don’t wanna sneak around with me like a couple of high schoolers?” He asks as he watches you bend over to grab your panties, ass seeping out of your skirt in the process. He licks his lips at the sight before continuing, “There’s a thrill that comes with the chase, the secrecy, don’t you think?”

“What happened to doin’ this right?” You ponder with a smirk.

Eddie chuckles. “Well, I think you were right,” he says and you raise a brow, wanting him to elaborate, “We were never supposed to do this right.”

And although he says it in a lighthearted tone, clearly not meaning anything by it, not more than a silly joke anyway, the reality of his words crumbles on top of you like a ton of bricks. The weight is crushing, suffocating, and suddenly you’re hyper aware of your surroundings, remembering the events from this morning and the shitty article in the paper that outed you two.

You swallow, the smile on your face shifting from a real one to a fake. 

“Is there a bathroom here? I wanna go clean up.”

Eddie notices the change in your demeanour but chooses not to say anything about it, thinking if you wanted to talk, you would have countered his statement. So he tells you instead where the bathroom is located and watches you leave.

Exhaling, he stands. He reaches for his clothes and puts his boxers back on before pulling his pants up over them, buckling his belt. The thin walls separating the office and the bathroom allow him to eavesdrop. He’s not sure what he’s thinking he’ll hear. He’s afraid it’ll be crying ‘cause that might mean you regretted everything — and there goes that fear again, creeping up on him. But it’s just silence, only the flush of the toilet and the running water from the tap.

He can hear the door open and close, but when minutes pass and you don’t return, Eddie takes both of your jackets and goes searching for where you might’ve disappeared to. It’s not like you’re hard to find, standing in the middle of the corridor, staring at the photos on the wall.

Eddie’s tentative in his approach, slightly afraid of startling you. But you register his presence instantly, tilting your head in his direction and catching his brown eyes with your own.

“Who’s this?” You ask, full of curiosity, motioning towards one of the pictures. 

He stops next to you, gaze flickering in the direction of the photo in question and you watch as a smile breaches his lips.

“That’s Red,” he answers as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“That means as much to me as Michael Corleone.”

Eddie snorts at your comment, although his eyes remain glued to the picture frame. The photo features him in a Hellfire t-shirt that now resides at the bottom of his over-sized wardrobe and he’s pulling up his pants with one hand while the other is behind Max, fingers in the shape of bunny ears she clearly knew he was doing as her face is an unimpressed frown, ams across her chest.

It was taken moments before him and the guys left Hawkins.

“Max. She’s my kid sister,” Eddie explains and your mouth parts in shock. He looks back at you, taking note of the surprise. “Not by blood or anything. But she lived in the trailer park I grew up in and we’ve been through a lot together so yeah, kinda adopted her as a sibling I never actually had.”

His eyes glistened as he looked at you, a little shy around the edges which is an emotion you haven’t seen on Eddie before. It made the brooding rockstar seem a little more approachable, lovable. That, plus the fact in the space of approximately two hours he’s opened up to you twice. Honestly speaking of his past as if he was desperate for you to know the kinder side of his soul.

And you’d never admit how you knew it already. How you spent most evenings reminding yourself of the stories he told you that night in August and how your heart grew three inches with every secret spilled. You’d never admit that it’s this side you prefer as it makes him more amiable, ‘cause that would mean you were indeed head over heels infatuated with him, which shouldn’t be possible after such a short period of time together. Right?

Considering also how you’ve never told him anything too personal. Keeping your cards a little too close to your chest. You couldn’t be falling for someone that knew nothing about you aside from the shit he dead in the paper. Right?

Eddie can see in your eyes, thoughts running wild. He wants to ask what’s on your mind, but bites the inside of his cheek, thinking yet again how if he really wanted to do this right, he had to let you open up on your own terms. So instead, he glances back at the picture and takes the frame off the wall.

“She actually lives in New York,” he says.

“Oh yeah? What’s she doing there?” You ask, eyes following to where his are fixed on the young girl.

“Smart cookie, studying at NYU to become a psychiatrist.” He beams proudly and your heart soares inside of your chest ‘cause you can feel the happiness radiating off of him, making you feel warm.

“Well, I hope she's actually studying 'cause otherwise I'm payin' her tuition and rent for nothin'.”

“I should ask Val if she knows her.”

It’s Eddie’s turn to be surprised. His head snaps in your direction and you can feel his doe-eyes scanning the side of your face, waiting for you to continue ‘cause who the fuck was Val, and shit, if she knew Red then that meant your lives were already intertwined more than either of you realised.

When you finally turn to him, after what felt like a minute of racking silence, a smile is present on your lips.

“Valentine, my younger sister. She would be around the same age as… Red, right? I’m guessing she prefers Red if that’s what you called her.”

“Yeah. Red,” he affirms, brows strung together, “You have a sister?”

“Several, actually. And one brother who’s often mistaken for my kid given our twenty year age gap. A headache for my PR team, but the light of my life. As is Val. Me and her are the closest.” 

Eddie’s grinning now and you wanna ask him what’s gotten into him, but his elbow knocks into your own as if he was imploring you to continue. So you do.

“Big Corroded Coffin fan, that one. Don’t tell her I told you. She likes to act nonchalant about me being this star and hanging around other stars, so if she ever met you, she’d pretend she didn’t know who you were.”

“Kinda like you did,” Eddie teases.

You smirk. “I swear I didn’t know who you were.”

The rockstar rolls his eyes. “Hard to believe considering you were at my party and apparently your sister is a big fan.” He stands straight, all cocky and cavalier. “You seriously mean to tell me you’ve never heard my music?”

You gently push him back and wanting to act as coy as possible, you brush past him, heading in the direction of the front door. “Having listened to your songs and knowing who you are, well, those are two different things, hot shot.” You call behind you.

Eddie laughs. He hurries after you, swinging one arm around your shoulders and pressing a delicate kiss to your crown.

“Agree to disagree,” he whispers, flicking the lights off with one finger and leading you outside, into the sweaty Los Angeles heat.

After making sure the record store is locked, he helps you into the car before jumping behind the wheel. He throws the picture frame he took from inside into the glove compartment and starts the car.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m starvin’.” He exhales dramatically and you chuckle, “How about I take you on our second date? There’s a diner not far from here. I used to go there every damn day before all the fame and fortune. Now I like to stop by sporadically, mainly when I’m high ‘cause I swear they make the best burger in town and the owner lets me eat in the kitchen, away from the prying eyes of other customers.”

“How can I say no to a chef’s table?”

“How can you say no to me, sweets?”

You shrug. “I can’t.”

And Eddie’s smile grows wider. He tries to hide the satisfaction seeping through him right now, the pure unfiltered bliss. Tries and fails. Though at that point you’re both too far gone to care.

-

When the two of you finally make it to the studio, hours later than initially planned, the peace of mind fades into nothing, faster than either of you anticipated it would. Not because you’re forced to face reality and the situation at hand. No, because over burgers and milkshakes, you mutually decided you would stand up to your teams if they threatened to break this apart.

“They can’t end something that is bound to make ‘em money,” Eddie reasoned. “And baby, we’re making a song together. That’s millions, especially if we’re spotted together a few more times. Then there’s the music video. I can kiss you on camera, you’re talkin’ another couple grand right in the pocket of the people in charge.”

It was sound logic.

Unfortunately, you failed to account for the one person who wasn’t making money in this situation, but still had very much to say when it came to your image and “pristine” reputation.

A person forgotten by you until Eddie opened the door to the recording room.

Sitting, rather comfortably at that, on the single item of lounge furniture, was your Nana. She’s talking with Marianne who, judging by her posture and expression, is doing everything she can to impress your grandmother. 

You’re in half-a-mind to tell her it’s not worth the hassle, but you find yourself completely frozen. Unable to move or speak. Mainly because you were hating yourself for letting her slip your mind.

The thud of the door closing causes the two ladies to pause and turn to where you stood with Eddie. Marianne is immediately on her feet, shortly followed by your Nana who at first smiles, but when she notices the rockstar’s hold on your waist, her expression changes to one of disappointment, if not anger.

thank you for reading! | celebrity skin. masterlist

& tagging some cool ppl that expressed interest: @eviethetheatrefreak , @thirddeadlysin , @gothvamp1973 , @haylaansmi , @nope-thanks , @smileygoth , @tlclick73 , @vintagehellfire , @ashlynnkennedy , @avalon-wolf , @papillonoirsworld

[blue-slxt]

Two Can Play

🔞Minors Do Not Interact🔞

A/N: So this is my first Lo'ak fic and I'm really hoping it came out well. It's a little shorter than the other chapters since this one is really just to introduce the premise. Huge thanks to @pandorxxx for the inspiration. If you haven't read her Search & Rescue series, you should absolutely check it out. All characters are aged up.

Next Part

Pairing: Lo'ak x Fem!Omatikaya!Reader

Warnings: Smut, P in V (really quickly), Sexual Tension, that should be it for this chapter

Word Count: 2.7k

Summary: You have a reputation for getting around, but there is one person you refuse to give in to. What happens when you both make a bet to see who will fall for the other first?

“Ooooh fuck, Tetxi!” you moan as your head falls back reveling in your third orgasm of the night. He held on to your hips rocking them back and forth wanting to reach his own release.

“Shit, I’m so close!” he says through gritted teeth. That was your cue to hop off and finish him off with your hand. He groans at the loss of contact with your warmth, but he’s quickly thrown back into his pleasure with the touch of your skillful strokes. After only 3 quick pumps, his hot seed spilled all over your hands. Too easy. Beads of sweat trailed down the sides of his face as he tried to catch his breath.

While he’s still regaining his composure, you’re already getting your clothes back on.

“Leaving so soon?” he asks half-jokingly.

“Well, it is time for dinner.” You tie your top together behind your back wanting to leave this conversation quickly. Tetxi swings his legs around to stand up, “Here, I’ll go with you.”

Sheesh, not this situation again. “That’s okay. I’m a big girl, I can go by myself.”

His face drops, “So that’s it? We just fuck and then you’re running off?”

You internally roll your eyes struggling to keep your patience, “Look, it’s not that big of a deal. We just did what we came here to do and we had fun and now it’s done.”

You make sure that your loincloth is tightly secured around your hips and take your leave bidding him a swift and short ‘bye!’.

You walk through the gathering crowd looking for your best friend, Ako. You spot her signature half-up, half-down braids off to the side and run up behind her to throw your arms around her, “Found you!”

She jumps and squeals in shock at first before realizing it’s you. “Eywa, you nearly scared the life out of me!” a laugh laces through her words. She cocks her eyebrow at you, “So how was your night?”

“Average. Tetxi was fun and he got the job done, but ultimately, nothing really special.” You shrug your shoulders recounting the event.

This was a regular occurrence. You had a bit of a reputation in the clan for getting around. You didn’t let it bother you since it was true and you felt no real shame about it. You were young and trying new things. What was so wrong with that? There would be plenty of time for settling down and having a family later, but that was nothing you really needed to concern yourself with right now. Especially with so many attractive males in your clan, how were you supposed to choose just one right now? It only made sense to try them out before you made a final decision, didn’t it? They say that no man will want to take a mate who’s been passed around so much, but as far as you’re concerned, the right guy for you won’t care. Who cares if other people don’t like it? It’s not their choice. That’s why Ako was your best friend, she never judged you for your decisions. She was clear that your lifestyle wasn’t for her, but she respected your way of doing things. What more could you really ask for than that?

You had to admit, though, it was starting to get old. You had gone through all your top picks, second choices, backup plans, and even the drunk picks. Most of them were nice enough, but a lot of them just wanted to see if the rumors about you were true and were delighted when they found out they were. The real issue was that about half of them always wanted something more. They would want to see you more often, they would get possessive over you and your time, or they would ask you to be their girlfriend. You had clear boundaries around your escapades, though. You weren’t going to be their girlfriend, there was no pillow talking, no saying the L word, and absolutely no cumming inside of you.

There was really only one boy in the whole clan that you were insistent on not sleeping with.

“Don’t look now, but your favorite guy is coming this way” Ako jokingly nudges your shoulder.

You roll your eyes and groan already knowing who it was without even turning around. A big slender arm drapes itself around your shoulders, “Hello ladies.” He coos.

“Hello Lo’ak.”

Ako grins playfully at your expression.

“Aw don’t be like that, sevin.” His fingers find your chin to guide your face to his, “When are you gonna stop giving me the cold shoulder and let me actually make you feel good?”

This was also a regular occurrence. If anybody’s reputation rivaled yours, it was definitely Lo’ak. He had run through just about every girl in the clan at least twice. As the Olo’eyktan’s son, he got away with it. People didn’t judge him the way they did you. It drove him crazy that you were the only girl he couldn’t smooth talk his way into her cloth and you enjoyed having that kind of power over him.

You playfully lean your face into his and glance down at his lips, “In your wet dreams, Lo’ak.” You make sure to say his name extra sensually just to fuck with him. He feigns a pained look on his face. As much as it drove him crazy that you wouldn’t fuck him, it also drove him crazy. He liked this little game you two played. It just made him want you more. He loved a challenge. The other girls that would willingly fall at his feet were no real fun for him. He used to love how easily girls would flock to him, but he grew bored of it.

“Come on, Ako, let’s go grab some meat before it’s all gone.” You use your tail to gently push Lo’ak off of you as you intertwine your arm with your best friend and walk away. Lo’ak can’t help but lick his lips at the way your hips sway from left to right when you walk. You may or may not have done that purposefully to tease him a little more.

Dinner carried on per usual. At one point, you did catch Tetxi glaring at you through the crowd. He was upset and that was understandable. He wanted something more with you; something emotional, but that wasn’t going to happen. There wasn’t anything wrong with him, he would make a good mate for anyone, just not you. He wasn’t your perfect fit. From the look on his face, you figure he wouldn’t want anything to do with you for a while, so you make a mental note to yourself to take him off the roster.

It wasn’t necessarily that you kept a steady rotation. More often than not, the guys would approach you first. It did make you feel just the tiniest bit guilty hurting his feelings, though. Oh well, that was neither here nor there at this point.

…

The next day, you offered to help Ako gather fruit in the forest.

“I just don’t get it. A lot of the guys you’ve been with weren’t even half as handsome as Lo’ak and he clearly likes you. So, you won’t fuck him because….?” Ako questions.

“Because…” you continue for her, “Lo’ak doesn’t like me; he barely knows me. He likes the idea of having me just like Tetxi, Rokew, Veki, Pxayul, and a ton of others. They all want to be ‘the one to change me’ and that’s not going to happen. Besides, there’s no way Lo’ak could handle me.”

“Wanna bet?” his voice chimes in through the bushes. He walks through the foliage to the clearing where you two were.

Here we go again. Ako smiles and raises her eyebrows at you, “I think I saw some yovo fruit over there that was ripe. I’m gonna go grab those.” She walks off to give you both some privacy. You silently curse her for leaving you alone with him.

“You spying on me now?” you shift your weight to one side and rest your basket on your hip.

“Not spying, just happened to be strolling by and heard you running that pretty little mouth of yours.” His smirk is smug as all hell. “I think it’s cute that you think I couldn’t keep up with you.”

“Sweetheart, I know you couldn’t and I don’t feel like making you fall in love with me.” you’re even more smug than he is.

He gets closer to you, “Care to test that theory out?” he walks in a slow circle around you eyeing your body up and down.

You don’t make any attempt to stop him. Let him see what he couldn’t have. “What exactly did you have in mind?” You couldn’t deny that your curiosity was piqued.

He comes back around to your front looking down at you cocking his head to the side. “It’s simple. We challenge each other to see who falls first. First one to cave has to admit defeat.”

Taking one step forward, your chest presses against his, “You’re on.”

He leans his lips down to your ear, “Oh, yawne, you have no fucking idea what you’re in for.” He presses a quick kiss to the shell of your ear. It makes your core tremble, but you knew better than to let that show, especially to Lo’ak. Your poker face was unbeatable. When he pulls back to look at your face, you hold a sly smirk on your face. “You’re gonna have to do better than that…” you reach around to stroke to base of his queue, “yawne.” You whisper the last word.

You could see the way his body reacted to your touch. His jaw clenched and he huffed out a big breath. You had this in the bag.

You push him back with your hand on his chest, “I had better get going. These fruits aren’t gonna harvest themselves.” He steps back still looking over your body flashing the tips of his canines when he smiles, “I’ll see you at dinner.”

“Maybe.”

You set of into the same direction Ako went, fighting the urge to turn and look at Lo’ak’s face. You could practically feel the way his eyes bore into the back of your body, but you have to uphold your appearance of indifference. You can’t help the smile that creeps its way onto your face.

Ako notices the look on your face and is surprised to see a pleasant smile instead of your usual exasperation that you wore after an interaction with Lo’ak. “What is that face?”

“What face? There is no face. This is just my face.” You try to sound as aloof as you can.

“Mhmmm” she knew better than to believe you, but she also knew you’d tell her in due time.

You both continue to harvest until your baskets are full and it’s time to head back to Home Tree. You had some free time so you both decide to stick around and help prepare the food for dinner. Lo’ak is standing around talking with his brother and some of their friends. He looks over at you often. And when you would catch him looking, he would shoot you a wink and you’d shake your head to yourself turning your attention back to what you were working on. Ako catches these little interactions you two have and her eyebrows come together in confusion while she’s trying to put the pieces together.

“Okay, what the hell is going on? What happened in the forest?” she finally asks you straight out.

Ako was observant and you knew you wouldn’t be able to get something this big past her.

“Just a little wager that we have going on. He thinks that I’ll fall for him before he falls for me. But this is already a done deal as far as I’m concerned.”

She eyes you for a moment processing the new information. A smile breaks out on her face. “If you don’t think you’ll fall, then why does your tail keep swishing when he looks at you?”

You scoff, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” “Oh, come on. I know you well enough to know that your tail only moves like that when you’re actually happy.”

Your ears flatten against your head suddenly acutely aware of your body movements, “Don’t you have more vegetables to chop?”

She raises her hands in mock surrender and goes back to what she was doing.

Once it’s time for dinner, you sit with Ako as usual and right on time, Lo’ak approaches you. “Mind if I join?” the question is for both of you, but his eyes are focused on you.

“We don’t mind” you give him a sickeningly sweet smile.

He situates himself right next to you, his knee just barely touching yours. The slight brush of his leg against yours wasn’t lost on you. He’s testing the waters, but it would take more than some fleeting touches to get your attention.

You grab a piece of meat and moan lightly when you place it in your mouth. “Mmh…it’s so good tonight.” You act like you’re casually talking to Ako, but Lo’ak’s eyes snap to your face at the noise you made. And he watches intently when you lick the flavor slowly from your fingers. This was too easy. It’s harder to stifle your own laugh than it is to get in his head.

Ako sits on the other side of you enjoying the little show you two are providing her with. She decides to help stir the pot a little.

“Hey Lo’ak, could you pass me that bowl next to you?” she gestures to a small bowl of fruit next to him. He grabs it and passes it to her behind you. His hand runs across the small of your back when he pulls his hand back and his touch leaves goosebumps on your skin in its wake. You shake the hair out of your face trying to fight back the shudder in your body. You see how Lo’ak smiles to himself next to you and you continue to eat your food trying to look unphased.

You both continue on like this for the rest of the dinner. When it’s time to return home, Lo’ak offers to walk you back and Ako nearly pushes you into his arms accepting the offer for you. You shoot daggers at her with your stare, but she just giggles back at you before walking off into the direction of her own home.

Walking back home with Lo’ak is full of a lot of silence, but it’s not an awkward silence. You wonder how long this little game of yours will carry on for. If you were being honest, you gave him maybe a week or two at most until he was completely head over heels for you. There was no way you were losing this. If for no other reason, you were one of the most stubborn people you knew. Once you set your mind on something, there’s no getting you out of it.

You come out of your thoughts just in time to realize that you’ve reached your home. Lo’ak turns to face you and dramatically gestures to your tent, “We have arrived.”

“Oh, why thank you, sir” you say equally as dramatic making you both laugh.

You start to walk towards the opening, when he speaks again.

“Do I get a reward for getting you home safe? I mean I protected you from tripping on all those loose branches and everything.” He teases.

You roll your eyes playfully and slowly walk up to him. “Oh, I’m just so grateful,” You coo. You rest your hand on his chest and lift yourself up on your toes to just barely brush your lips against his. “I could show you just how grateful I am,” your hand glides down his body to rest at the waistband of his loincloth. You can feel how his breath fans your face just a little faster. A smile pulls on your lips. “Good night, Lo’ak.”

You fall back onto your heels and walk into your tent. Lo’ak stands stunned outside your tent for a little longer than a moment.

It’s now that Lo’ak realizes that he’s really going to have to step it up to get to you. He needs to get creative if he’s going to make any kind of progress. That’s something that he can worry about later, though. Right now, he needs to get back home and take care of his growing bulge while your voice and touch is still fresh in his mind.

[lurkinglurkerwholurks]

“no one has time to go through 80+ years of canon” is an interesting take when most canon fans, the ones asking people to engage with source material, generally only view post crisis pre flashpoint earth as the gospel and character bibles? no one’s asking you to read every single comic, it’s more like… if you want to know who cassandra cain is, read batgirl 2000. it’s just one comic line. the insistence that fanon is just as valid is fine, but this feels a little like “I really want to know who katniss everdeen is” “oh okay you should read the hunger games.” “what? you want me to READ? I’m going to instead make up what I think the hunger games is based on cobbled together gifsets and other people’s headcanons. and then I’m going to post my hot takes and analysis in the main tag despite never having interacted with the story” like I’m glad you’re having fun but despite the protests there is, in fact, real comics you could read. I could give you one single comic run for each character that would help explain them as a character, you wouldn’t need to sift through 80 years of comics, but fanon fans don’t want to hear that either.

I understand you don't know me or what I do in my real life off of this platform, but this is the funniest possible ask you could have sent. Thank you. I'm going to be giggling for the rest of the day.

Apart from that, with true gentleness and no malice at all, I would recommend that before sending an anonymous screed into someone's inbox that you read (haha) their entire post and the conversation it is a part of (much shorter than even a single comic line! I believe in you!) instead of fixating on and erroneously addressing a single sentence within that post. It does tend to make interactions a little less silly.

[diovstheworld]

Never forget la squadra's canon gc!!! Can you write some hcs about how each of them act in the gc plz?

ahhhh of course i can! this request honestly came at the best time bc i was thinking of doing a post like this and i was already making a post about their typing styles so i’m gonna combine them all in one! thank you so much for requesting and i hope you like! also side note, this is a modern take on the group chat rather than of the period golden wind is set and ALSO i’m sorry some of these are shorter for some of the characters :(

୨ ╭ ୨୧ ✦ ︶꒷꒦・⎯⎯・⎯⎯・₊ˎ✧๑

Risotto:

proper punctuation and capital letters at all times when he’s typing

he's not one for using abbreviations very much but he does use some of the ones that formaggio has taught him

tries to keep the group chat strictly for work purposes but it never stays that way lmaooo

doesn’t really understand the memes that are sent and usually responds with a ‘???’

he’s not really one to use emojis, i feel like he would be a little confused by them

some of the others try to teach him but it never goes very well

he does use the knife emoji a lot though

his response time to messages varies. if it’s something important, he’ll respond quickly. if it’s something dumb, like a meme or something that he doesn’t feel needs his input, he’ll take longer to reply or just read the message and not reply at all

probably the tamest in the group chat

he’s the type of person who misses a lot of messages and has to scroll back so far to see all the chain of messages he’s missed

Prosciutto:

middle aged woman type texting tbh Imao

just like risotto, he has full proper puntuation and capital letters in his texts

uses text abbreviations even though he doesnt use them correctly Imao

just like risotto he’s not great with emojis but he does use them

but he uses them in completely the wrong way which is always making formaggio laugh (i think these headcanons i have are heavily based on the fact i see prosciutto and risotto as the mum and dad of the group lmaooo)

takes his time with typing so it normally takes him a while to respond to the chat

isn’t a fan of the memes that are sent in the chat mainly because i feel he would have a strange taste in memes (facebook mum type memes tbh lmao)

Illuso:

always types in lower case (he's just like me for real)

loves to send memes

probably the worst for responding

he very often leaves the guys on read which results in the boys having to harass him with messages until he answers them

always making fun of prosciutto for taking so long to type

also always making fun of any meme that isn’t his lmao

but he secretly finds a lot of them funny and even saves a lot of them

always giving nickname suggestions for the other members

Formaggio:

big user of all caps texting to be honest

regularly asked if his caps lock button is broken lmao

another one who also loves sending memes to the group

sends them at the worst times though. the other members of the squad regularly get annoyed at him for sending memes at 4am

very active in the group chat but has a bad habit of ignoring work related messages from time to time

always the one to take the conversation topic off of work and onto something completely unrelated

when he’s not sending memes, he’s normally documenting his whole life to the group tbh. he’s sending pictures anytime he sees a cute dog or cat on the street or if he sees something funny out in public

basically just constantly spamming the group chat lmao

also always giving nickname suggestions for each of the members

Ghiaccio:

another all caps enjoyer actually

except he actually is yelling unlike formaggio

again, likes to send memes but his taste in memes is awful lmao

he answers messages pretty quickly i think to be honest

i think in general he’s very active in the group chat and basically reads messages the second they come in unless he’s busy on a job

also probably harassing the group chat a lot when they don’t answer him

and since he’s impatient it’s only going to be a few minutes before he’s sending follow up messages lmao

also always gets irritated by formaggio’s spamming lmao

Melone:

also practically lives in the chat at all times and is always active

was the one who made the group chat for risotto (because i think risotto wouldn’t be too good with technology lmao) and is definitely a co-admin

always giving the members different nicknames and changing the name of the group chat

and risotto always has to change it back lmao

i also think he would type in lowercase

which i feel would annoy prosciutto which is also partly why he does it lmao

has definitely sent nudes to the group chat before (he says it was an accident but no one believes him)

Pesci:

always replying with a lot of laughing emojis to all the memes that are sent

i think he’s pretty quiet in the group chat. he doesn’t say much but he’s always reading messages

always leaves likes on messages too to let people know that he’s definitely read them

sometimes he feels to awkward to respond or doesn’t know what to say so that’s why he likes the messages instead

but he always responds to prosciutto and risottos messages first, all the others are secondary

unlike formaggio and illuso, pesci is making cute and nice nickname suggestions for the group chat

also melone is probably always scarring that poor boy with some of those photos he sends lmaooo

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

Impressive blog post! When it comes to the topic of writing fiction involving real people, I used to have mixed feelings, leaning towards the idea that as long as it doesn't harm anyone, people should be free to explore their creative imaginations. However, my perspective took a significant turn when I stumbled upon an author's account on Ao3, and discovered that they had written a fanfiction featuring someone I knew.

This person was from my high school, part of a specialized sports program, and while we weren't close friends, we maintained a friendly rapport due to mutual acquaintances. Over the years, I had gained insights into their life beyond what fans typically knew. It was one of those "disconnect until it happens to you" moments.

Seeing their name in a fanfiction, paired with a teammate, hit me hard. Most fans wouldn't be aware, but there had been hurtful speculation about their sexuality. They had been late to start dating, shorter than many in their sport, and maintained close friendships with certain teammates, leading to unwarranted assumptions about their personal life. Although not a dominant topic of conversation, they deeply resented being labeled a closeted player because of this speculation.

Knowing all of this, seeing a fanfiction about them was heartbreaking. I was aware they would likely never see it, but I understood how damaging mere speculation had been to them. It was distressing to think that their fans were crafting stories about their personal life.

As I read through the fanfiction's description, I couldn't help but think, "Don't you realize how much this bothers them?" Then it hit me – of course, the author didn't understand. To them, my acquaintance was just an athlete, someone they'd never truly know. This realization struck me like a ton of bricks.

Until that moment, I hadn't fully grasped how I'd allowed myself to objectify the subjects of fanfiction, rationalizing that it was acceptable. However, being on the other side, I recognized that, as harmless as it might seem, unless you genuinely know the person, you can't comprehend what might be happening behind the scenes. Words carry weight, and ideas can leave lasting impacts. It is, after all, their lives, careers, and professional relationships being portrayed. This led me to the conclusion that it's best to keep such works off public platforms. If you're a fan, it's the most respectful way to express your admiration.

thank you for sharing this! I must admit that when I was younger, many years ago, I didn’t see anything “wrong” with fanfics about real people because “everybody in the fandom either reads or writes them” but now that I’m an adult, my thoughts on the subject have changed and I can see now why it’s disrespectful, crossing boundaries and is an invasion of privacy. fanfics have been in fandoms since forever, but the only ones I’ll ever write and read are the ones about fictional characters. not real people. I mean I know there’re lots of people who write about real people and I know I can’t stop them. but hopefully they may change their views like I did one day

[misc-obeyme]

I’m sorry but this vampire event is so good??? I love it???????

Spoilers & such below the cut!

I was a little confused at first because I really thought the side characters would be turning into vampires, but the bros were the only ones that did. But! I actually liked it this way lol.

Some events are pretty underwhelming while others are just okay, but every once in a while we get a really good one. This varies for other people of course depending on faves and what not. But I thought this was a really good event.

I loooooved that we got to spend most of the time with the side characters. I love them all so much.

Not gonna lie, though, I did get some real life 2020 flashbacks due to the whole quarantine and pandemic stuff.

Like I wish I’d been this delusional in 2020.

But what I don’t understand is why Satan got sick? They said it only affected fallen angels, right? And yet Satan got infected? My guess is this was just easier than having him be the only brother who was immune. I’m not gonna read into that lol.

I also enjoyed how the shorter end route was just humorous while the longer end route was more involved.

I mean what’s an Obey Me event without the usual brotherly nonsense right?

This whole part was just too funny.

But then in the longer route, things get more intense. The way MC works together with all the side characters to handle the brothers and stop the virus… that was pretty epic! And then the little chat with Diavolo and then Solomon just having a whole conversation about biting you.

Yeah and then we get to say we want him to bite us and he’s all well I don’t want to hurt you… and like okay that’s sweet and all, but that’s kind of the point Solomon! You can’t just say something like that and then back out!

I also loved how much Luke content we got… our son is so cute!

Yes because feeding the brothers garlic meat pies that Solomon made is being nice about it lol.

And oooohhhh this line was so coooool. I would think Barbatos is the only one other than perhaps Diavolo who could actually take on Lucifer. And he does it with a smile lol.

I’m also a little curious about all this talk of actual vampires in the Devildom and how Diavolo wants to be friends with them. Is this something that’s event specific or is this relevant to the overall story? It feels event specific but it’s interesting to think about how something like that could change things.

Anyway, I haven’t felt compelled to write a post about an event in a while, but I really liked this one!

[k1rameki]

i think i need to expand on my losergirl ayana agenda bc lord have i become hyperfixated (buckle up bc i have gone absolutely insane over this) (this might also end up becoming a hc dump uh oh) (also bear in mind thanks to all the recent art ive been seeing of her ive been on a real ayana kick when it comes to ships n shit so yeah some hcs with the other characters imma mention can be interpreted romantically too teehee) (and also!!! more general ayana hcs too :333 i have a cavity in mein cranium that can only be filled with soft ayana content)

also quick emoji keys for dialogue i may add for this ^_^

🎸 - aldryx

🩻 - tabi

🔻- ayana

🎧 - dalia

📼 - agoti

some of the many reasons i believe ayana is an absolute girlfailure is her complete and utter failure in her previous relationship/s (I SAY THIS BC SHE PROBABLY HAS BEEN IN A FEW THAT HAVENT WORKED OUT LONG BEFORE SHE MET BOYFRIEND,, also shes just awkward as hell but thats a story for anotha time)

NOT ONLY THAT BUT HELLO??? she appears so calm and collected whenever shes engaging in simple conversation but internally shes freaking out and she has no idea where anything is gonna end up going and often times she can and she WILL let stupid things slip out of her mouth and immediately she regrets it

and let me tell you this she gets more and more pathetic and losery around dalia,, this woman is in LOVE (hence that stupid doodle i made where aya's just freaking out over the slightest bit of affection given to her) (looks like she might have abandonment issues sorry what)

IN FACT. GIVING PHYSICAL AFFECTION TO EVERYONE. SHES ALL FOR THAT SHIT,, hugs, kisses, stroking hair, you name it, this girl is a massive cuddlebug you cant convince me otherwise

i mentioned my pastry chef ayana hc in passing but i'm gonna fully expand on that now: SO. also aya family hcs bc people should talk ab that but ayana's dad is a chef (no specific speciality, but he does make a lot of baked goods) and growing up she would often mirror what he does and that eventually led to her practicing and honing her skills! :D (she also studies culinary arts at college teehee) ALSO!!! she brings all sorts of baked goods she makes over for all her favourite people to enjoy constantly whether that be cookies, pastries, cakes, all of that yummy stuff

despite being an absolute loser girlfail idiot she can jam on the bass like its no tomorrow. IM TALKING ABOUT SLAP, FINGERPICKING, YOU NAME IT, SHE CAN DO IT ‼️‼️ here's an example of the bass playing style i had in mind for her, very energetic and fluid heuehehehehehe

SPEAKING OF (and this ties in a little with my band au) and whenever she drops an epic bassline everyone just stops and stares at her totally being in the zone

🔻: –casually having the time of her life playing a bassline like theres no tomorrow–

🎸: "yo holy crap aya where has this energy been this entire time"

🔻: "huh what do you mean"

HAIR EXTENSIONS!!! ive talked about this on discord before but ayana with naturally shorter hair so she wears hair extensions! (also bc gender euphoria but shhhh)

i also believe that aldryx and tabi had zero idea that she wore them and just believed her hair was naturally long. this is how their conversation went trust;

🔻: " hey guys ^_^"

🩻: ".....did you cut your hair?"

🔻: "no? my hair has always been short"

🎸: "IT HAS??!!??!!??! 😨 I THOUGHT YOUR HAIR WAS JUST REALLY LONG"

🩻: "ME TOO— jesus christ my life is a lie"

🔻: "theyre hair extensions not the holy grail calm down 😭😭😭"

AND NOW THAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT AYANA INTERACTING WITH THE OTHERS, LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO MY AGOTI/AYA DUO HC BC HELLO romantic or platonic these two are fucking adorable, the loserboy + losergirl pairing ever frfr (also bc i hc that theyre really close in age bc iirc ayana's birthday is january 28th so that would make her around 3-4 months younger than agoti to me at least teehee)

those two gossip about anything and everything and every single night they do each other's hair n spend time doing full fledged spa routines while talking shit about anyone and everyone bc theyre high maintenance as hell and take pride in their combined collection of bazillions of good smelling bodywashes and shampoos

🔻: "oh my god, goti i cant believe i forgot to tell you about some crazy interaction i had with someone earlier today i swear its driving me crazy"

📼: "BITCH AND YOU DIDNT TELL ME SOONER? YOU'D BETTER START FROM THE BEGINNING I NEED DETAILS IN FULL"

🔻: "OKOK SO WHAT HAPPENED WAS—"

also she works as a seamstress in her spare time when she's not doing music or baking ^_^ she often uses her expertise to create some outfits (with the help of sketches done by either tabi or agoti) and often has trouble finding someone to be her muse so she often gets dalia to help

she takes this VERY seriously by the way if she hears a singular complaint she will go insane

🎧: "how long is this gonna take 😔😔 my arms are getting sore babe i cant stand like this for much longer"

🔻: "dee i love you but i swear to god if you say that one more time i'm going to stab you with this needle until your arm is red and swollen BE PATIENT PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU 😭😭😭"

🎧: "😀😀😀😀😀 youre gonna WHAT"

also. shes got a BIG sweet tooth — she and tabi bond over sweets and trying all sorts of new things together, especially chocolatey things bc theyre both obsessed with chocolate anything

🩻: "aya i went to the store and i found this wafer cake thing and i thought you and i should try it"

🔻: "TABI THAT LOOKS DELICIOUS OMG go grab two spoons right now you and i are eating all of this right now"

🩻: "OKAY SURE :] i can already tell this is gonna taste good"

also sometimes she forgets to eat proper meals and will consistently only have sweets and snacks all day until someone calls her out on it, shes very forgetful, oopsies!

[clementine-kesh]

thinking again about the differences in disciplinary action from voyager’s command trio towards tom and harry (and narrative justification for their actions) because it’s one of those things that’s there in the background but i don’t think the writers were even aware they were doing. obviously there’s the mutiny in resolutions that harry never experienced consequences for despite how big a deal it should be, but another good example is in favourite son when he co-opts control of voyager’s weapons to fire at a seemingly friendly ship based on a hunch. of course janeway’s mad at him for it and briefly suspends him from duty but she also states that she trusts his intentions and is willing to spend resources on proving his intuition correct. see this conversation:

there’s a trust placed in harry by the characters around him and further validated by the narrative that even his transgressions have a greater justification for them. which makes sense when you consider that his role in the story is to be the bright-eyed upstanding young starfleet officer and this is a star trek show, so of course his actions are always ultimately in the right no matter how questionable they actually are. see also: timeless vs. year of hell.

janeway doesn’t extend of the grace she extends to harry in favorite son to tom in thirty days. there’s no question that his actions were those of a rogue agent and he needs to be punished. because he’s still got the stink of starfleet dropout ex-con on him, which gives him an element of unpredictability in the eyes of both his commanding officers and the narrative that can’t be trusted. despite his character development and the fact that his reasons for becoming a fuckup are tens of thousands of light years away he still needs to be kept on a shorter leash than harry.

so like, i get why people think tom is the “bad boy” (for lack of a better term) out of him and harry, because that’s how the narrative their transgressions. tom’s are punished, harry’s are either swept under the rug or narratively justified*. which i think is demonstrative of how the writers conceptualize these characters and, perhaps unsurprisingly, falls in line with how people like them would be treated in an organization like starfleet in real life. you can get away with a lot more if the people around you think of you as inherently “good”.

*with the exception of the disease, but i have other thoughts about why that is, ex. our perfect starfleet ensign is allowed to break rules for The Good Of The Crew but not for sex

[kitkatopinions]

New RW/BY ep. This one is shorter than most of my other ones. Spoilers, criticism, and praise beneath the keep reading

Praise:

More good music, including some very Sonic Unleashed Day music in the marketplace.

The scene with the blacksmith lady was cool and intriguing. I do think Ruby should be asking more questions, but by and large the vibe was good, it's left me asking some questions and wanting to see the follow up. Now they need to stick the landing of giving some pay off for that scene such as actually making Summer Rose important, explaining Alyx, involving this blacksmith lady more later, etc. We'll see if they can do it, but as a standalone scene, that one was good.

I wish they didn't undercut their suspenseful moments so much, because they do a good job of making moments suspenseful when they want to this season, they just never stick the landing and leave them feeling shallow. First we have the blacksmith lady scene (basically ended with Weiss being rude to Ruby) and then we have the fireworks, which Team RWBY take as a good thing until townspeople start screaming and running and the fireworks start forming the words 'danger' while the teapot lady and the cat start freaking out. It's fairly well done and I really like the fireworks saying danger. It's just then thrown off, which I'll talk about later.

Did the Cat just get one of the Ever After citizens to risk their life to save Team RWBY? I better get an explanation on why this morally dubious new mentor-ish cat is doing the things they're doing and how they're getting other people to go along with it but as for now I can't wait to hopefully find out.

More cool music when Jaune appears.

Also Ruby's face when the Cat is holding the Neo-Jabberwalkers off and saying her and her friends should run was well animated, just the panic there.

Criticism:

After having the lack of real death in the Ever After explained to her, Weiss says: "That's impossible. Things have to die at some point." Like, Weiss, babydoll. Salem and Oz exist. The concept of things not dying isn't new to them?? So why is Weiss literally just dismissive at once of the very concept?

Knowing that the Cat dismissing exposition as tedious is a jab at critics and will be used as fuel against rwde posters by a toxic fandom is kind of frustrating when I've been begging this show for more things like world building and actual explanations and not to just deadpan tell us things happened and instead have the characters actually talk things through. Like, okay cute I guess.

The girls split up with no protest. A terrible idea they should have at least had a conversation about.

Whatever thing is at that stall trying to give everyone that flower looking thing is so annoying. Those sounds it was making were too much for me.

Weiss needs to shut the ever loving fuck up. What a way to be a dick to Ruby for next to no reason. On top of the rest of my problems with her this season, this just makes me even more sure of her being 'Worst Girl' rather than 'Best Girl.' How about you go off on a solo mission, Weissy? Instead of doing nothing but complaining.

"Wait, what's a Jabberwalker?" WHAT? The other thing was the Jabberwalker and was one of the things laid out to 'prove' that they were following the story! And I'm so sick and tired, does Blake know everything about this book or doesn't she? She said Alyx encountered a Jabberwalker, meaning it was in the book, but now she's like "what's a Jabberwalker?" Babe, you said it! This would be like me seeing a Ringwraith in what I figured out was Middle Earth which I'd landed in, saying "In the story, Frodo and co encountered the Ringwraiths" and then later on when people start screaming that ringwraiths are coming being like "What's a ringwraith?" Did nobody take notes for this season? Is there not a show-bible? Don't they even have a post-it note up that says 'Blake knows this story well' and one that says 'here's what Blake says the story contains?'" Because it's that easy.

Also, it's worth noting that 'ascension' had to be explained to the girls and they thought everything in the Ever After did just die, so.... The beheaded toy soldiers? They didn't know they would just come back, and still reacted with next to no concern.

I'm sorry, I can't take this parfait seriously. Like..... I'm supposed to be freaking out about some terrible dangerous monster coming that can and will kill the people of the Ever After, but instead I'm sitting here chuckling at the yogurt parfait flying through the air and smacking into the Jabberwalker's face.

Weiss's voice acting has gotten even worse somehow I think, and you know what? I don't blame the person who voiced her. If I spent years of my life on a mismanaged to hell project where I was likely underpaid and then the writers 'took a jab' at my voice acting while writing my character to do almost nothing but complain for five episodes in a season, I would put on the worst performance of a lifetime.

Ruby consistently forgetting she can burst and then also just kind of lightly jogging away from a now overgrown Jabberwalker is... Not great. XD Not a lot of desperation was portrayed there which is a real shame. I wish I could take this scene seriously.

The combat against the Jabberwalker wasn't good. It was really lacking actually. If I wanted to see a rabbit kick things I would watch Hoodwinked. That being said at least the rabbit is cute and doesn't look quite as unnatural as Little does.

Nobody stops to help anybody. They literally acknowledge leaving the Ever After market in ashes during the destructive attack, but none of them try to stop it after they realize there's more than one Jabberwalker and Neo is in control of them, they leave behind the Cat and other random citizens they don't even know to risk their lives to get them to safety, and they don't even stop to help anyone. Weiss looking upset for a moment only for Ruby to lead her away is still very unconvincing if you ask me. None of this is currently out of character for how they've been acting in the past couple of seasons but I sure hope it actually gets addressed. Contrast Team RW/BY running from Neo and the Jabberwalkers without even really trying and leaving behind panicking screaming citizens to their exhausted and often injured state leaving Beacon after they sacrificed their own health and wellbeing over and over during the Fall. The way these characters have downgraded needs to be recognized and though I have hope that Ruby might get a check and start developing, I have next to no hope for the other three.

A. Blake it is not a time for you to be fangirling, people outside might be dying. B. Writers, it's not a time to make Blake fangirl with the sad music still playing and people maybe dying outside. C. God this is gonna make Jaune-fanboys so off the charts... I am tired.

I FREAKING SAID! Timeskip Jaune was my first listed worst case scenario. I am gonna

I hate it so much.

3/10, the Cat and some of the well done suspense and visuals are fine, but boy howdy did this episode spark some rage!

[everlastingspiral]

Actually, I’m going to keep a running list of Redacted’s sins and failed allegories just to relieve some frustration I have with the most important parts of his stories. I am not liable for any hurt feelings. I’m just some angry dude on the internet.

Vincent:

Why is he still suffering 20 year old (or however long) trauma if he has a support system to rely on.

If I remember correctly, the king turned Vincent without Vincent’s “consent.” There is nothing brought to attention about this, except that Vincent eventually adjusted to his life and eventually became alright with what the king did. If Redacted is portraying non-consensual vampire turning as sexual assault, then this is saying “it’s okay because Vincent liked it” which is just...awful.

Lovely being turned into a vampire does nothing for the story, and instead kills a much more interesting dynamic of Lovely choosing to remain human and grow older. There was already a difference in power between the two, so I don’t understand why Redacted thinks Vincent being Lovely’s maker suddenly changes that.

Lovely’s turning was also very obviously a substitute for Frederick and Bright Eyes, which was a far more compelling story to introduce vampire lore.

Had the king magically remove Vincent’s ability to lie to Lovely in order to make them “equal”, throwing away a much stronger display of trust by having Vincent exercise his control to refrain from lying. Besides, when did Vincent lie to Lovely after they got together? If anything, Lovely should be extremely suspicious of why Vincent had to make that request.

Sam:

Comparing saving someone’s life to sexual assault.

Completely trashing the only compelling part of his narrative because he didn’t have the balls to stand up to his fandom and write something that wasn’t so black and white for once.

Wrote every video of Darlin’s story prior to making up with the pack with every character essentially telling Darlin’ they were stupid, powerless, and helpless.

David gave Darlin’ a power of friendship speech, and all the tension between Darlin’ and the pack disappeared completely.

Comparing saving someone’s life to sexual assault.

Made a “slow-burn” that was 7 videos long, which is shorter than even Vincent and Gavin’s.

Villainizing Alexis just for the actual backstory behind his turning not being nearly as severe as all the characters make it out to be.

Punishing Alexis unjustly for trying to save someone she clearly cared about a lot.

Makes the king once again magically take away a compelling aspect of the plot, in this case Alexis’s ability to invoke. This lazy “cure all” should really not be applicable to abstract concepts.

Why didn’t the king or someone else in the clan ever talk to Sam about what happened? Why did they all let him stew in his trauma for 15 years? I thought the vampire clan was supposed to be like a family, and yet none of them are ever present for any other member of the clan.

Sex healing his trauma.

Comparing saving someone’s life to sexual assault.

Frederick:

The only story with gray characters and would have really let Sam’s personality shine was thrown away because Redacted forgot his audience consists of people who are mentally 14.

This is only speculation, but given Redacted’s apparent fondness of terrible allegories, I suspect the real reason Frederick and Bright Eyes’s storyline was axed is because people weren’t talking about his precious sexual assault allegories. He could have easily wrapped up the story quickly in order to change public opinion since most view his word as final. Funny how in the one story where no one knew who the true villain is, it’s the only one to get removed.

Once again, also speculative but, comparing saving someone’s life to sexual assault.

That being said, the lack of conversation about how Sam giving Frederick a bare minimum explanation of vampirism as he lay dying is dubious at best.

Avior:

"Time isn’t linear”...the timeline in this story is 100% linear you cunt.

Trying to compare...not informing memory loss to some kind of abuse? What reason did Avior have to hide Starlight’s memory loss in the first place? He didn’t have to tell them about their relationship, but could have avoided Starlight making the same mistakes twice, and everything happening over again.

I would chalk up the current place of Avior’s story to him being a dumbass, but this feels like Redacted trying to make another of his dumbass “statements.” How is hiding information of Starlight’s memory loss and being distant manipulative exactly? If Redacted is trying to do a “re-falls in love with partner” trope, he failed spectacularly. If he’s comparing Avior’s actions to abuse/manipulation, then what exactly is his asking for “blind faith” from Starlight? If these two end up together after this, I will go feral.

Avior has done absolutely nothing to intentionally make Starlight fall back in love with him, and they do so naturally on their own, but Redacted still somehow portrayed this as Avior being manipulative.

(Adding preemptively) Makes it so that Avior doesn’t reveal the detail about Starlight’s memories until it’s relevant to their relationship, and not about potentially dying to the Meridian or generally escaping, and still having the two hook up in the end despite how horrifyingly creepy his reveal actually is.

D.A.M.N. boys:

Damien being borderline-abusive portrayed as romantic.

Portraying Bridging without consent being equivalent to sexual assault. I cannot stress enough how insulting this one in particular is to victims of sexual assault. It does not “go away” in a couple hours, the fact that Redacted made Freelancer see their “rapist” multiple times and try to rekindle their friendship, and the lack of proper care for Freelancer or proper justice of Kody in the name “realism.” Given how much he already bends and breaks literally every storyline, why didn’t he break this one to give Freelancer the resolution they deserve? If he wants to avoid “sad” or “dark” storylines, why wasn’t Kody dealt with a long time ago?

The fandom didn’t hate Kody enough, so instead of just getting rid of him after obviously failing at the sexual assault allegory, he brings Kody back and tries to make him the absolute worst character purely so people will hate him.

Given how many allegories Redacted makes, there’s a suspicious lack of discussion of the things Gavin does/has done. He influences a man into blowing him in a public space, but it’s okay because the man wants it? Redacted, do you ever stop to think about your own writing? Or just to think about the things you’re preaching?

David:

Borderline-abuse again portrayed as romantic. But it’s okay because Angel is healing him with their love.

Why does David feel like he has to be a dick to be Alpha? Was Gabe a dick as Alpha?

Asher:

Redacted hasn’t ruined this one yet that I’m aware of.

Milo:

Just...made the dumbest possible plan during the Inversion so the government looks evil, but the people look good. And the dumb plan worked because the heroes must win in the end, despite how many lives and breaches of covert they risked. What was that about “realism”, Redacted?

Marcus:

Took a perfectly alright story about grey characters and decided Marcus wasn’t hated enough, so proceeded to retcon half the story in order to make Marcus seem like an absolutely terrible person.

Hasn’t bothered to point out how hypocritical James is and probably won’t given Redacted’s track record. James got rid of Love’s obsession code, so I guess he’s the good guy now.

If Love isn’t the “yandere robot” anymore, then what was the point of this storyline? The sheer lack of punishment and consequences everyone faces except Macus (kind of) is bollocks.

Elliot:

Redacted hasn’t ruined this one yet that I’m aware of.

Blake:

Outside of making him obnoxious, Redacted hasn’t ruined him yet either. Are we ever going to get back to his listener?

Is he “yandere” or is he just an incel like Kody?

I had forgotten that Blake is just putting up an act to get his listener’s power on his side, so now I wonder why he’s “yandere” from the listener’s perspective and I dread the inevitable reveal of him as another black-and-white villain.

Regulus:

Compares Empathy Daemons to children and then deems this character one of them.

Oh sorry, he’s a “Fallen Empathy Daemon.” Does this mean he’s an adult for no reason? Is he fallen because he partakes in “dirty” things like sex? Once again I ask, Redacted, if you are aware of the things you preach?

Vega

Since it’s been brought to my attention: decided to fit in a shallow racism allegory with the demons while making them all the exact stereotypes they complain about and half of the few of them being actively predatory. Also, the promiscuous possibly-POC-coded queer demon (Gavin), who is considered a good protagonist, is implied to have sexually harassed children. Yikes.

Geordi:

Makes the intro to this character a way too long rant about how he thinks Cutie needs to ask for consent before reading his mind, despite establishing in the same video (I believe) that Telepaths can’t always control their abilities.

I don’t even tune in to Geordi’s plotline, but I still catch a lot of the reactions to the videos. This better be a breakup arc.

What plot twist?

(Adding preemptively) Makes it so that Geordi and Cutie are just going through “tough times” “as all couples do” and “overcome their difficulties” to become a suddenly-healthy couple despite the fact that every single time someone mentions one of their videos, it’s Cutie violating Geordi’s long-established boundaries.

(Adding preemptively, in hopes Redacted will finally make me eat my words and force me to remove this and the above statement from his growing sin list) Romanticizing abuse.

Morgan

Nothing major has happened with this character yet to warrant sinning, but he was disappointingly less sarcastic than I anticipated.

Imperium:

Doesn’t actually live up to the idea of a “mirror-verse”, which is what the Imperium is stated to be.

Rather than making bad characters good and good characters bad, the bad characters are even worse somehow and the good characters are bad, but only because they have specific circumstances that make them bad, and aren’t actually bad.

Took a usually incredibly interesting idea and made it utterly, unbearably boring.

I forgot to mention before, but some of the bad characters, specifically Vega and Adam, don’t actually appear to be that much worse than their canon counterparts, and in fact are arguably less evil. Either way, if his intention was to make any sort of “mirror-verse”, he still failed to do so.

Inversion:

Introduced Xavier as an interesting side-character just to kill him off for shock value. This had no impact on the overall story.

The only other act of real consequence was Lovely being turned, which doesn’t really change the story either. Lovely already lived under covert and already was familiar with the vampires, they’ll just be around them more often now.

Milo not being able to shift was undone in about 2 videos.

Asher getting a scar he could easily cover up is somehow worse than people dying.

Failed so miserably at making this story impactful on the plot that all the characters could do after the Inversion ended was be sad.

“The consequences won’t go away in the next video.” You’re right, Redacted. It took 2 videos.

Mr. RedactedASMR, in summary:

Cherry-picks the things he wants to be “woke” about.

Cares more about making “statements” than writing a story. Just write political posts for a blog and save us all the time, sir.

Claims to write mature content, yet writes at a middle-grade level at best.

Claims to want to write about “real” things, but doesn’t have the spine to handle them with the seriousness and care they need and deserve.

Tries so hard to water down his villains and their actions to be more “palatable” that he ends up making his shallow allegories insulting.

When the fandom doesn’t hate his villains enough, he makes them uncharacteristically as horrible as possible for no reason.

Apparently won’t be happy until he has a cult following that agrees with everything he says/writes.

Desperately needs to hire an editor or co-writer that’s not one of his awful friends/mods.

Very obviously bends to the will of the loud part of the fandom in order to get money, which does not make him a good writer. I’m also suspicious of when the fandom points out “wrongdoings” of his characters, he panics and quickly tries to cover it up by preaching about “abuse” or whatever. It would make sense as to how characters like Marcus and Avior are suddenly being portrayed as horrible when there was no prior evidence and seemingly blatant retcons in order to do so.

What will he virtue-signal about next? Stay tuned!

[jessicajagg]

King of Fighters: Maximum Impact (2004) PS2 Review

SNK was in a weird spot during the early 2000s. Their contemporaries had shifted nearly all of their focus on 3D games made to be played at the home but SNK continued to produce their coin-op titles for a dwindling arcade industry.

In an era where arcade games were largely released in collections, SNK put out single game home conversions with little to no extra features while Neo Geo emulation became more prevent online.

None of this is to say SNK's output at this time was lackluster. Metal Slug, Garou, Samurai Shodown and King of Fighters continually pushed the standards for pixel art, still looking gorgeous to this day. But the market trends had shifted and without a digital market place to sell shorter arcade games they had trouble finding an audience outside of hardcore enthusiasts. Hence in 2004, rather than another yearly entry of KOF we would receive a 3D spin-off "King of Fighters: Maximum Impact"

Maximum Impact ditches the staple team battle system for a traditional 1 on 1 bouts. Team battles are only available in versus mode and have loading screens inbetween each round. The game still mainly takes place on a 2D plane with the only 3D manuver being a side-step that I personally didn't find particularly useful. What is incredibly useful are the 'body slams'. Simply hold forward or back while mashing punch or kick and you'll perform a little combo string, no doubt a mechanic implemented to help newcomers but it can go boths ways and you can easily find yourself cornered.

Which brings me to the most frustrating aspect of this game, the final boss Duke. Now we all know and accept SNK final bosses are bullshit but Duke has to be the cheapest and most uncreative version of an SNK boss. Duke has an aoe super that will drain more than 80% of your life in a single hit. He can activate it instantly and unless you hit him just before it activates he has super armor, meaning most of the time if you press a button he can just activate his super and get you. Said super also breaks your guard when you block it, can't be jumped over and because Duke has infinite meter he can just spam it over and over again.

But the thing about Duke is that it's also insanely easy to break the fight if your character has a good jump kick. I've had fights last between 1 minute to an hour entirely depending on my characters ability to bullshit their way through the fight.

The game features 20 characters, 6 of them being original. The story sees two lead characters, brothers Alba and Soiree take on the KOF Tournament to wrestle control of Southtown from the aforementioned Duke and avenge their friend Fate. If you play as anyone else you basically get the same intro and outro cutscenes for everyone with minor dialouge changes.

The original character designs are rather hit or miss. The only real stand out is the disciple of Kim Kaphwan 'Chae Lim'. The others range from unremarkable to bland, it's not surprising alot of them haven't made any return appearances.

The game does however feature some stellar alternate costumes and models for each character. Some of which are so good, you have to wonder why it isn't the default. The alternate costumes for Mai and Yuri in particular are ones I'd love to see make a comeback.

The visuals while they don't match the visual splendor you'd see in the previous years KOF 2003 or Namco's 3D fighters of the time they get the job done. The music doesn't quite hit the mark but there are a few standout tracks. The english voice acting however is hilariously horrendous as nearly the entire original KOF cast are given voices that don't match the characters at all. The voice acting was the biggest point of contention from reviewers of the time, so much so that the Xbox port gave the option to swap to the Japanese.

Maximum Impact for all it's faults is a fascinating time capsule of the times and SNK's efforts to break into the mainstream. The game was successful enough to see a sequel 2 years later that would greatly expand on the foundation this game laid out.

[braemjeorn]

CHAPTER VII [masterlist]

pairing: bang chan x ofc

genre: general audience, as light as the rising sun in the dawn air

wordcount: 1.4k, bit shorter than usual.

summary: maneouvring pride to achieve an understanding

warnings: regency era setting; countryside; sad recollections; author being nonsensical again, she apologizes; but it's a hopeful ambience!

also available in ao3, if you prefer that format

© Do not repost, copy, or republish into another site or under another name.

⚠️ All characters that shares the name of real life person in this story are represented in a fictional manner for entertainment purpose, and not to be alluded with real life.

TAGLIST: @spookykryptoniteperson @nixtape-foryou

Mari was roused in the cool dawn air, well-sated for a moment; yet the thoughts that had plagued her slumber last night, and the cause, was recollected in mere moments.

The sun was still hidden among the mist. She dressed and hurried downstairs, evading the servants' notice, then slipped out the kitchen door into the cool outdoors. She headed to walk about the grounds, her feet explored round the fountains, the front parks, among the trees. Their tranquil state were at odds with her clouded mind, dull like town’s smoke. She could not enjoy the early sunbeams creeping about her, nor the silence she cherished in such hours.

The house was still silent; in such assurance, Mari set out for a turn before the boys began to wake. She walked by the side of the tall hedges, entering the garden hidden behind the high walls. She was to trace a path towards the flower patches when a figure appeared from the opposite direction from the turn before her.

“Miss Son!”

Mari started backwards, as did the Commodore—she was somehow glad for his fluster. He was donned in his frock coat, black with a white cravat. She could not make a decent response, and for a long moment, they stare at one another until she lowered her head in embarrassment. Then the Commodore spoke.

“May I walk with you?” he asked.

Mari nodded, finding his kind tone remarkable. Having regained his composure, he stepped aside, letting her pursue her original path, then following beside her. Awkwardness fell heavily about them; Mari preserved and gathered her courage. She thought it good of him to allow this situation and will achieve a conversation to rectify their understanding, by whatever means.

But the master spoke again, once again ahead of her in managing his speech. “The sun is rising to a new day; yet I would like to apologize for my—outrage, yesterday.”

Mari turned to him, opening her mouth to make a reply, but fell silent again. She knew not what to say, thus unlike last time, she will hear and think more about what he has say. She would not say a word for the mere sake of a response. They walked for some more steps, slower and easier than her earlier distressed gait.

Commodore Bang spoke again, “Minatozaki-san has told you to an extent, I’m sure. Of my wife, and her unwelcome death. I have not much to defend upon that matter: for a long time, I could not feel justified of her passing, for everyone else could recover from the same illness. I could not reconcile to that blow. By then I’ve let reservation desert my senses, and I allowed grief to overcome me.

"The boys were spared most of it; I sent them away to their aunts, and my mother. It was Younghyun-hyung and Sana-noona who saw the worst of it.

“Relent it, people say," the Commodore sighed. "Let her go, for your peace of mind." His tone was sharper when he spoke again, "But folly of them to expect you to assemble dust when half of your life was taken away from you. I do not know how I found some days clear enough through the black clouds to recognize myself and my surroundings. But somehow the darkness dissipated. And when I’ve gained enough master of myself, when I felt quite willing to walk in life again, I swore, wholeheartedly, never to love with such passion again. I would only be hurt to incapacity if they are lost from me. It would ruin me again and…” he gestured to the house, “I could not risk it. Many things are depended on me.”

They had paused before the small goldfish pond. The Commodore had his eyes musing upon the ripples, and Mari waited for him to finish.

“I went to town, with Bambam. It was—enough. Ventures, odd people, and teaching was absorbing my attention. But never music, nor ballrooms. I fear the warmth of recollection will cripple my senses again, and I can’t afford that when I have the boys to look after. You might not understand me, Miss Son. Or perhaps you are wiser than me in your experience of losses in life that you think little of me.”

For a moment she was at loss for his words, then registered he referred to her circumstance as an orphan. Yet as a babe she knew not what she lost, and towards her aunt’s death her— yes, she had grieved.

“But only because others bear it stronger, does not mean you must dispense the pain to their liking,” Mari said. “I did lose my aunt three years ago, but I acknowledge her age and constitution… It is different for you. You must've cherished her differently — she was your lady.”

“But not enough justification to abandon one’s brood.”

“I would not use that word.”

“Oh, it was implied,” he smiled, much to Mari’s chagrin. “You were right, I can understand your reasons concerning their growth. I could have done better, I could have made better choices for all that has happened. But during those days I spurned them away because—I could not even look at them. They’re so alive — so much like her; I fear they will undo me, that I will lose myself again if I sway to such tender affections. So I refused them, thinking that it would preserve us better." He gave a glum chuckle. "Even a beast would have a better notion than me! I’m not proud of it Miss Son, no.” He shifted on his feet, sighing as he looked upon the house. “You were right on many things I would not admit. Now I fear I’ve forgotten many things about them.”

In her heart, Mari had felt a pang at his confession, comprehending some extension of his sorrow. But with a gentle, composed voice she inquired, “Then would you remedy it all, sir?”

“I would.” He turned at her, “But all my crimes for three years—what could overcome it? Would they even forgive me? I know I’ve hurt them, Minho more than the rest.”

They fell silent. Mari asked herself why she had condemned him in such a venomous way as she did, no man has that right. A new wave of embarrassment tinged her cheek, but in their silence, it was unnoticed. She considered, and before hesitation could approach she gave her answer,

“You might think me young and silly, but to this day I believe that love—in all the kindness it encompasses, is the strongest force in the world. It overcomes the greatest troubles, it forgives the pain, the offences… If one but earnestly extends it from the purest core of their heart. It is not too late—they are still young. I’m sure, even if the past few years are present in their memory, what happens after to amend it will be more fondly regarded,” Mari said. “Commodore—you love each other. And you have a lifetime before you all; to know each other again as a better family.”

The sun had warmed the entire ground, and servants and gardeners began to move about. Along with it, hope rose in the Commodore. He let out a deep breath, and his eyes light up. He smiled. The air was light, and with the fresh blue sky, everything seemed to be set anew.

“Then will you forgive me?” Commodore Bang asked softly. “Is there anything in your heart, that might be willing to renew our understanding ?”

His hand was extended towards her—and Mari, in all the relief of the restored harmony and lighter consciousness, returned his smile, and gave her hand to his grasp.

“I could have eased myself through this years before, and yet I could understand it only now,” the Commodore muttered. “And what a gratifying reconciliation.”

“Allow time to do his work. I'll take greater comfort in your... evident change, sir,” Mari replied, to which she hastily added. “You must forgive me as well, I’ve misjudged you, and have over-spoken. I forgot how great can events impact a person, and words harm a soul.”

“Then we are even?”

“We are, sir.”

After another firm shake and a shared amused grin, Commodore Bang let go of her hand. Mari laughed, all her anxiety evaporating off her tense shoulder. She made light remarks of the fine sky and weather and took pleasure in the Commodore's genial replies. They headed back towards the house, entering from the back garden. The boys could be heard rushing down the stairs to the centre gallery, ready to walk around the garden. Mari looked up and found in awe the fondness that came over her employer’s face. One of the boys made a witty remark, and they all laughed, while the Commodore beamed. He inclined his head closer to her and muttered, “Do not hesitate to reprimand me for my mistakes in the future. As you did yesterday.”

“Sir, that is —”

“You must help me be better,” he insisted. His pointed gaze was kind, yet tinged with some agitation. So Mari smiled and assured him.

“I think you’ll find your mind and body more familiar with such actions. Good morning boys! did you sleep well?”

*slumps down chair in relief* This is the end of act one!!>♡<

Not that the acts are set, it just came about to help me keep track of my writing.

This note is also for me yo take leave from you all for a bit, to polish on act two and three. I might not be able to catch up with the schedule of posting once a week, as I had with act one, what with uni starting and all. I cannot give much assurance on when will it be out, only the assurance that the story is all done, up till the wedding, and braem just needs to review it, one chapter at a time. And that when it is ready to go out, it will be out. I swore tomyself it will be out whatever happen. So I hope you wouldn't mind waiting until that time. Maybe you can catch up with the first chapters or my other works... I might occasionally pop up for the #braem's rambling tag or something, but other than that, no actual guarantee.

I appreciate all the likes, notes, reads given to this work. It means a lot to me that you like this work I have a better conclusion note prepared but somehow the paragraph is deleted, but either way, please stay healthy and happy. I'll see you soon!

[bug-crimes]

stumbles in. i saw the addition to the character questionnaire thing while out and im glad u reblogged it so i remembered it. 1 2 and 5 for Lyric, 7 8 and 10 for Arvidus, 2 3 and 8 for Minna ovo?

!!! wiggles at you!! ty for the ask <33

ask game if anyone else wants to send some stuff my way wink wink wink wink

Lyric

What is the character’s go-to drink order?

Lyric is Not a fan of getting wasted, so if we're talking alcoholic, he's most likely to go for something light on the alcohol! His favourite would be a bit of rum in a black tea of your choice, mixed with some lemon or honey if it fits the flavour.

In general, tea is his go-to if he's feeling like something other than water. For a while, he'd usually just ask for whatever black tea was available (or cheapest), but he's been expanding his horizons lately! He's quite a fan of a raspberry tea Minna has concocted from her garden ^^

2) What is their grooming routine?

He keeps it pretty simple; a long time on the road has cemented the habit of doing the bare minimum, and being able to do it quickly. He used to use a knife for shaving, but after a particularly nasty nick on his neck, he gave in and bought a quality straight razor that he is very particular with caring for. He shaves whenever his stubble gets long enough to bother him (usually every few days) and bathes whenever he feels a bit too nasty to handle. This varies wildly depending on what he's getting up to at the time and how sweaty/bloody/dirty he is. Usually it's at least once a week, though.

His hair is uh... Well. He'll give it a quick comb every day so it doesn't get tangled, but it's only cut out of necessity and he refuses to let someone other than his own knife do the job. Part of his morning routine is putting his hair up in a short ponytail (or, if it's gotten long enough, a tight bun), and he doesn't take it down until he's settling down for the day.

Basically. The TL;DR is that he takes care of the necessities so he's not a complete mess, but he never really learned how to clean up proper, so anything he does know has been taught against his will in his adulthood.

5) What was the last time they cried, and under what circumstances?

This depends wildly on what point in his life we're talking about hsdfkj so like. I'm just gonna go with later in his life when he's got his shit more figured out bc I wanna talk about him and eloise hehe

The last time he cried was when they were arguing over a particularly risky move he took without consulting anyone on their latest commission, because even if things had worked out, it was at a great risk to his own life, and eventually, Eloise just. yells at him. That he's always trying to sacrifice himself like some idiot martyr, like he still has something to prove, and isn't it enough to live for us?

And he just. Freezes. Because oh, oh. He can't remember the last time he's tried to live. Something inside him just breaks, and suddenly he's crying, and there's a long, long conversation ahead of them once he gets it out of his system.

Arvidus

7) Describe the shoes they’re wearing.

Leather boots, baby! It's such a hardy material that they're pretty resistant to his powers, and he doesn't have to worry about replacing them all the time. Honestly, they've just gotten comfier with age, and he loves them. They're shorter boots, near his ankles and have thinner, flexible soles so he can feel the ground well. One of the joys of being a catperson is being able to climb things real easy and whatnot, so he likes to wear shoes good for the job!

8) Describe the place where they sleep.

Unless out on the rare adventure, Arvidus will usually sleep at his family's temple! Or, well, that's what he calls it, at least. In reality, it's one that was long abandoned, the grounds crumbling under a cliff eroded too far by the sea. He and a few other heretics make a home there, and have refurbished the place a bit. Though there was certainly enough space to have solo bedrooms if they so wished, the group was quite accustomed to all sleeping in the same room, so Arvidus most often will fall asleep to the sounds of others around him, though never the warmth of another body (he doesn't trust himself to touch others in his sleep). He doesn't really need warmth in all of his body, nor comfort, but he sleeps in a little nest of blankets nonetheless, tucked away in a cozy corner where he can see the room well in the moonlight.

10) What objects do they always carry around with them?

He usually has a small kit of maintenance tools for his prosthetics, as well as smaller scrap parts for quick repairs! They are, unfortunately, needed fairly often. He also will always carry his artifact just above his heart, small enough to wear as a necklace. It never comes off for anything, if he can help it.

Minna

2) What is their grooming routine?

She takes great pride in her hair, and has a lot of products for it! Conditioners, hair oil, various combs, etc etc; she tends to use products specifically made for snakepeople, since their skin can react Weird with stuff that's normally fine for others. She usually opts to style her hair in two braids, although she may opt for something more fancy or simple depending on how she's feeling. She braids her own hair, and really enjoys being able to zone out and focus on a bit of grooming! Her hair doesn't get greasy often, so she doesn't have to wash it very often.

She doesn't fully bathe often, as too much water can be bothersome for her scales. Instead, she washes the skin that needs washing and will spend some time enjoying the humidity of a nice bathhouse! She doesn't have a ton of scales, but the ones she does have are pretty much self-cleaning, as they shed about once a month. She haaates it because it's itchy as all fuck, and one may often catch her mindlessly picking at her scales during this time (and then having to soothe the inevitable irritation it causes).

Dressing herself is one of her favourite parts of the morning, and she likes to take her time with it! Picking out a cute dress for the day and accessories to match is the best therapy! Unfortunately, it's not something that can happen every day (it's gotten expensive trying to take care of bloodstains on her good fabric), but she takes great joy in the days when she can!

3) What was their most expensive purchase/where does their disposable income go?

Fabric, accessories, plants, and various weapons make up most of Minna's indulgent purchases! By far the most expensive one is her signature greatsword, as she went all out on getting a weapon that would hopefully last her a lifetime.

8) Describe the place where they sleep.

Depends on the day, as she has her own little home in town, but she also has a bedroom in the guild hall that she'll use whenever she has an early day of training new recruits ahead of her! Either way, she likes lots of blankets and pillows; if one sneaks in on her sleeping, she'll probably be bundled up with only her head peeking out just enough to get air. She likes things cozy and cute, and the softer the mattress, the better! Her own home has a bed large enough to comfortably fit two, and it's a small miracle that she ever manages to get up in the morning, it's so soft n comfy!

[loves-em]

TO HANDLE A CRAYON (AND FEELINGS) PROPERLY

Achy and confused is what I am right now. I don't know how to deal with myself, because my feelings are messed up. And worst of all: I won't have time to clear up this confusion anytime soon.

The student exchange is over as of a few days ago. A was here for a while and we dropped him off at another exchange members place the morning of him leaving. We couldn't bring him to the train station at noon to say goodbye since we had a flight to catch ourselves anyway.

I loved the entire exchange and it was utterly amazing. But I also feel incredibly conflicted and don't know how to deal with it. But first I'll tell about how this post relates to the one before.

My worries were that I'd have weird conversations with A and couldn't convince him of (in my opinion) good things, and that this would make things awkward between us. Good things being feminism, socialism, and other things concerning social injustices here. Being from a rather conservative and catholic country, his way of being raised wouldn't really let him be a socialist-feminist that believes in abolishing capitalism and justice for any and all minorities and oppressed groups. Or how religion is harmful, especially abrahamic religions. I've also not met like minded people that believe in the everlasting endurance of hope (like I do) in real life, only online.

We had exactly those conversations because I just cannot shut up. We had them often but not in an aggressive way, we didn't argue with hate. Or at least I didn't, but it didn't seem like he did either. We talked about economic systems and about sexism and oppression, but also about morals. I feel like I taught him a lot, as I am at least slightly more knowledgeable in those subjects than A is. He is still trying to figure out his morals, and I gave him advice for this deeply personal journey. For example: Don't do pessimistic nihilism, it fucking sucks ass and was a dark dark time for me.

Other than that, we also had a lot of fun, doing stuff in the region all the time and buying souvenirs for his family. Especially hiking, going to the pool, and going to a pub was very fun. During the last evening he was here, he gave me a small critique: He doesn't like how I am "sexist every 30 minutes".

I agree, I am being sexist very often because I hate men. I dislike the entire demographic of men a lot and am not afraid to show it. If he feels offended by my complaints about men, he may or may not be part of the problem, so I don't care about his criticism.

And then, that was it for us and the exchange was over.

But wait, there's so much more to tell. I still need to tell why I feel confused. Anyone reading this is probably bored as can be right now, so you can just stop here if you wanted to know how the situation of my last post played out. But this second part of the post will introduce a new character arc, basically. So maybe read on. Who am I kidding, people have yet to read a single post of mine.

I met someone. Another guy from the exchange group. His alias will be Crayon. A full word. Ha. It's also his common nickname, so I believe it fits well. And I have so much to tell about what kind of person he is, because he is so very human in every way that this post could go on forever. If I told the stars about him, even something so very old would get bored with how much I have to tell. I'll try and keep it a bit shorter, for simplicity of course. But there could be more. So much more.

Crayon is a very energetic and a well liked guy among the people of the exchange. Since A talked to him every so often, I got to do so as well. I had noticed that he seemed to be a unique character, so I was interested in getting to know him. We instantly clicked. So much about us is the same. Many world views of ours are so, so similar. Things such as "capitalism bad" and "equality woohoo" and also very much "love humans, love kindness, hope will endure" are things that connect us. Also a few personal interests.

He is just about a year younger than me and reminds me so much of myself. An incredible oversharer because his ideas used to be disregarded as a child. An attention seeker because he didn't get much positive attention either. I was just like that. In the pub we talked about this since we were next to each other the entire time. We just stuck to each other like someone glued us together. I basically gave him free therapy and was so very right most of the time.

Even though it was just us, talking loudly, the whole time with no less than 6 people listening to just us (with occasional comments), it felt like we were alone. We talked and talked and I was ecstatic. A like-minded individual! There are some differences between the two of us though. He is religious! A type of Christian, too. But he cherry picks his religious texts, not listening to what he deems obsolete. So he basically just has a moral codex and believes that there is some sort of deity. Also: we become godlike after our life is over. I haven't gotten to explain yet that this isn't him being of that religion if he changes it so so much, but I will eventually get to tell him. Hopefully.

Other than those very few things, he was always respectful and kind to me. We eventually exchanged numbers after going go-karting with almost the entire exchange group privately. It was great fun just being boldly flirty all the time though, I was definetly teasing him the whole time and he was so awkwardly nervous. But he still played along.

The pub was the night before Gokart , and Gokart is when we last spoke. At the pub, he said he wanted to tell me something when we last saw each other. At Gokart, I asked him "This is it, what did you want to tell me?" infront of the others. I feel like I pressured him into something there. Maybe he wanted to do this in private? Probably. He was being fidgety and hesitant. He then said the most cryptic thing to ever be said. I kind of expected him to admit attraction, or to tell me he's gay or not attracted to me, as to reject my flirts. Or maybe to critique me on my sexism like A did.

Crayon said the following: "Attention seeking. Also, you're a woman."

That was it. Word for fucking word. We had a nice firm handshake as a final goodbye. It was a good handshake, but awkward as can be. We both felt that it was meant to be more than a handshake. He told me afterwards over text.

I also asked him to explain his cryptic statement to me over text, which he kind of did. He was actually admitting attraction. To me? Unusual, I'm not the type to evoke much of that in either gender. To be fair, I can only return that. I never explicitly said that to him, but I think/hope he knows.

We started chatting loads via WhatsApp. We chatted so much in these recent days. Right now I am by the sea, lazing away in the sun mostly, so I have time. He is back home and doing his studying, but still makes a lot of time for me. I appreciate that. Anyway, us chatting a bunch. We spent multiple hours a day chatting everyday since we parted ways. And our conversations are very intellectually stimulating.

Noone really likes talking to me (or chatting with me) about the kinds of topics he seems so interested in. We both enjoy talking about deep topics, and serious topics, too. Everyone else I know gets fed up with this very quickly (except for one other friend of mine, but she only talks about this stuff when in private really, so not that often). Our conversations are so pleasant and beautiful. I feel as though I grew as a person everytime we finish a topic, and so does he.

With the obligatory talk about what were doing right now and some deviously flirty comments when fitting, these conversations are the most fun I've had when talking to someone in years. Why does Crayon have to live so, so far away? I cannot emotionally handle this, it makes my heart ache. I've never once felt this type of connection with anyone. Ever. And I doubt I will again anytime soon. This is so very special and dear to me, why do we have to be far apart?

This post is basically a piece of devotion to him lol, since we just clicked. Not on a surface level, but deeply. I long to see him again. I ache when thinking about how amazing we could connect if we had our conversations in person and not being able to. I am confused. I want to save myself from these aches by not contacting him much, but I also want this so bad. But also long distance is hard, right? I want to talk to him and appreciate him, even if it's hard. But there will be so much pain in this.

Then again, love of any kind is not supposed to be easy. It's supposed to be hard and painful. I don't know whether I am ready to take on this, but I really want to.

Any feedback on my situation here? Motivational words are ALWAYS welcome here.