#and the letting go of childhood dreams since kakashi had reflected on them all right at the end it would be cool to see that they had all

[mysimpleme14]

Sasusaku: Selfish

Note: I have a soft spot for Sasusaku blank period, and last night my brain decided to award me with an angsty Sasusaku dream at 4pm. I ain't good at writing but I just can't let that dream go, it was beautiful 😭 hope you will enjoy, excuse my grammar please don't sue

Sasuke stands still, eyes staring at the pink-haired girl, lying weak on the bed. Her face is filled with bruises and bandages wrapped around her arms. His loose hands becomes a tight grip as he recall yesterday's incident. Seeing Sakura unconcious, in her most awful state on the ground destroyed him. It was because of him, and he was too late to save her.

"I'm sorry, Sakura" his words come out as a soft whisper, even he could hardly hear them. Sasuke turns around after hearing a click at the door.

"You're leaving already?" Naruto lifts his eyebrows, scaning his bestfriend from head to toe. He's wearing his usual black cloak, ninja equipments are safe inside the small bag tied around his thigh and a black bag he carries behind him. Seeing Sasuke turns around to look at Sakura one last time before walking towards the ward room door, Naruto knows he doesn't need an answer.

"Hey, look. Sakura-chan isn't awake yet. Maybe you should wait until-"

"I have to go, Naruto" he says before feeling a hand on his shoulder stopping him from behind.

"Sasuke, its not your fault."

Silence.

Naruto doesn't need to hear anything from Sasuke, he knows him well enough, a guy who talks as less as he can, hiding all of his pain alone behind those lonely eyes.

"Naruto" Sasuke says while turning his head to look at his childhood rival.

"Convince her to accept the proposal. Tell her to stop waiting for me. I don't know when I'll be back"

"Wha- the hell, Sasuke? You know she loves you too much she would wait forever for you!"

"She can't possibly wait forever, can she?" He says with a smirk before feeling a dull pain on his left cheek. Eyes wide, Sasuke stares at the guy infront of him.

"Snap out of it, will ya?! No one loves you more than her and you know that. You just don't want to admit it. You think I didn't notice how you look at her everytime we hang out when you get back?" Sasuke just replied with a short "Tch"

"Now I dare you stare at me in the eyes and tell me you don't feel the same way. I dare you watch her accept that proposal and marry another guy. I dare you, Sasuke!" Naruto's eyes reflect his feelings perfectly, anger. Sasuke sighs, trying to get all of his strength to stand back up and replies very calmly.

"Enough is enough, Naruto. Don't you think Sakura already suffered too much?"

"She won't be happy with me. She deserves someone so much better than me. Someone who will love her" he pauses

"More than I ever will" its a soft mumble but Naruto can still hear every word.

"She was kidnapped because of me, Naruto. Tortured because of me. This isn't even the first time. People put her through these because of me. Now don't tell me she hadn't had enough"

This time it is Naruto who keeps his mouth shut.

"I have many enemies. I just- don't want her to suffer because my past"

-----

Sakura is panting. She can hardly feel her legs. But there is something more important to settle right here, right now. And there he is, the love of her life standing still infront of her. She sees his eyes widened, and stays like that for a brief second, before turning into his usual cold eyes, staring at her.

"Sasuke-kun.." she walks slowly towards him. Her injury from the incident two days ago doesn't make it any better, but she doesn't care. All she wants to do right now is to hold the man she loves most, and settle this once and for all.

She knows what she had was mutual, she can feel the bond between Sasuke and her closer than ever now. The way he talks changes after his journey of redemption. The soft touch on her forehead he gives everytime before starting his trip. His small gestures of walking her home everytime the team hangs out, the subtle moments of him trying to brush away her patients when they started asking her personal questions. Sasuke was never the type to convey his feelings through words, she knows this much by now.

"I love you" she whispers briefly, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. She stays for a while and continues.

"No matter how long it takes.. I will wait for you" Sasuke is still in shock, the familiar smell Sakura had since they were genin wrapped around him as tight as those small but strong arms. He takes a moment to close his eyes, feeling his fast beating heart. Slowly, he took his hand moving it to her shoulder.

"Sakura"

"Go home" he says breaking the warm hug before staring at the girl infront of him, inches apart.

"Sasuke-kun.. I really want you to know that I-"

"Go home, Sakura" as cold as ice, Sasuke stares deep into her green eyes, he can see tears falling down her cheeks. She slowly pushes herself away, looking down, trying hard to distance herself from him before turning away. She gives him one last look, hoping he would say one word, just one word, 'Stay'. Sakura starts to run as fast as she could when that man doesn't respond as she hoped.

Sasuke stares at her shadow, gritting his teeth to ease a pain he is so used to by now, a sharp prick in his chest. The pain is proof and he knows what it meant. He knows.. he cares.

A lot.

---

A year passes by and Sasuke is now in Konoha after being summoned by the Hokage, Kakashi because of some trouble in the village. He has been staying for a week, and everything is the same as it always has except..

He hasn't seen Sakura. He isn't sure if she's just busy at the hospital performing some surgery he can't even pronounce or she is successfully trying hard to avoid him.

Thanks to Naruto, he got news less than a year ago that Sakura declined the marriage proposal, and is currently working hard to open her own Children Clinic.

He can still remember seeing her running around the hospital hallway in emergencies, wearing her white coat, watching her hands glowing with chakra. Her forehead would be filled with beads of sweat, worried expression never leave her face, not until she can save a patient. That face would immediately change bright and cheerful once that small machine beside her patient starts to beep again.

Sakura loves what she does so much, he thinks to himself with a smile. As much as he tries to deny it, Sasuke knows how much that woman changed ever since he left for his revenge. She became so strong, so matured and very determined especially when it comes to things she loves. Anyone who is sane enough would want to make her a life partner, he smirks as he remembers Sakura's marriage proposal the villagers were so hyped up about a year ago.

'Ring' his thought is distracted by the doorbell sound. It takes Sasuke seconds to open his door and the figure infront of him brings some weird feeling in his stomach.

"Sakura"

"I.. um.." he watches her stutter before she looks at him in the eyes, and Sasuke swears he can see flame in them.

"I was passing by his office and Kakashi-sensei asked me to give these to you" Sasuke takes the scrolls from her hands and replies with a short "Aaa"

"Then. I'm going. Good day" she says with a formal bow and turns around

"Sakura" he sees her jolt at her name being called. Sasuke pauses and thinks of the things he always wanted to say to her, ever since that day when he sees her tears for the first fime after years. He opens his mouth slightly but changes his mind.

"Thank you" he says.

Sakura replies with a simple nod and walks away. Sasuke can't help but stare at her figure from behind until she can no longer reach his sight. He looks at the scrolls in his hand and sigh.

"I'm sorry, Sakura. Its better this way" he whispers to himself.

---

"Take care, idiot. Sorry I can't see you off tomorrow" Naruto says with a soft punch on his shoulder.

"Nah, its fine. Thanks" he replies short. Naruto is about to walk home when Sasuke calls him again before saying.

"Take care of Sakura"

He sees Naruto pause and scoff before turning away and wave his hand. Sasuke stares at the sky, wondering if she will come to see him off like she always do tomorrow. Thinking whether she will ask him if she can come along, as she does everytime he wants to start his journey again.

Probably not, he thinks. It is never the same anymore now. Whenever Team 7 hangs out, Sakura will either be joining them late, or excuse herself very early giving ward rounds in the morning as an excuse. It is never her fault though. It is his. It has always been his.

Sasuke is about to close the door to his apartment when he sees a familiar girl walking silently towards his direction. There's that weird feeling in his abdomen again, he isn't comfortable but he doesn't hate it.

"Sasuke-kun" she says upon reaching infront of him.

A long pause.

"I- I just want to say goodbye. And goodluck on your travel tomorrow" she smiles to him brightly, but he can see pain in her eyes. He replies with a short thank you and expects to see her turning away to walk home. But she just stays there silently, its as if she is trying to battle her own thoughts. Sasuke is about to ask when he feels a pair of warm lips on his. His eyes widen as he feel her hands gripping his shirt, and later after a short second, she lets go.

"What happened a year ago.. I-it was never your fault, Sasuke-kun. I know you have been blaming yourself this whole time. So please, just stop it.."

"Enough is enough.." she said slow. He can't stop wondering if she heard him talk with Naruto that day.

"I can't keep doing this, Sasuke-kun. I love you so much. Please, just.. if there's a little space for me in your heart.. even if its just a little.. I beg you, stop blaming yourself" Sakura starts to cry, softly. Those tears had always been his weakness. No matter how much he tries to ignore that one fact, he knows he can't anymore. And right now, he knows more than anyone, that he can't deny this, whatever it is that he has towards her, that has been haunting him for as long as he can remember.

"Damn it, Sakura.. you annoy me to this point" he says facing down. After a brief second, he pulls her into his arm, and presses his lips against hers. Sakura is shocked but it doesn't take long for her to lean in and dippen the kiss. Before she can put her arms around his neck, Sasuke pulled away.

His dark orbs stares at her, his eyes full of longing. There is confusion in hers though, but another thing they both have in common, is wanting more. He gently grabs her hand as a sign to invite her into his apartment and she replies with a warm smile and a pink flush on her cheek.

---

Sasuke stares at her back while she puts her headband on her pink locks. The silence is for a while now but it is not uncomfortable. He sees her looking at the floor for a long while before starting to talk.

"I- I'm sorry.. if I suddenly came over last night" he is about to reply but she continues while turning around to face him.

"I know you.. said no to me so many times.. and.."

"A girl shouldn't be like this, right..?" She chuckles softly but tears starting to form in her green eyes. It takes her only a few seconds to sob and cry like a baby.

"Why can't I just forget you and move on?" Her cries starting to sound like a whisper. Sasuke looks at her wiping her tears off her face but later forming more tears. He was never a sweet-gestured guy, romance is one of the many things he didn't want to get involved with. He never knows how to calm a crying woman, so he just look and starts to reply.

"I wanted you to be happy, Sakura"

"I wasnt sure you'd be happy with me"

"You deserve someone better than me, I hurt you too many times"

"I was ready to let you go"

He says softly while looking at her starting to calm down.

"But a part of me.. wanted to be selfish. And make you mine"

He continues, their eyes still staring at each other. Sakura sees it in his eyes, his eyes speak better than his words. But now that he made it clear, she is more sure. Her orbs become more gentle and she smiles to him ever so brightly.

"Be selfish, Sasuke-kun" She says stroking his cheek softly. Resting her forehead on his, Sakura softly carress his lips with her thumb.

"That way I can be selfish too"

- E N D -

Hnggh I wish I can write better but oh well, goodnight 😂💕

》 My poor soul needs more Sasusaku angst, feel free to reply with more angst sasusaku fanfic 😍