#and the sensory overload and the walk from the car to the dorm because the buses don’t run at 5 AM

[innocent-until-proven-geeky]

Reminder to my fellow autists—and really anyone—that if you have a meltdown or shutdown or something that seems inconsequential, there were probably a hundred and one other things that led up to it.

You don’t have to and probably shouldn’t examine those things in the MIDDLE of the meltdown or shutdown. That will be difficult to do and might make things worse, depending on how your brain works. But when you’ve started to calm down a bit and you’re beating yourself up for melting down over something “so little,” remember the stuff that came before it.

[jaminjims]

「WE GOT YOU」

anon request: hi can you do an ot7 female eight member scenario a fluff and angst one where they're female member experiences a panic attack, gets really tired so they take care of you.

pairing: bts ot7 x f!reader (platonic or romantic)

genre: angst, fluff, comfort

warnings: panic attacks, brief mention of insomnia, hospitalization of loved ones, crying, migraines

words: 1.7k

~**~

You sighed deeply as you exited the private plane that belonged to you and the boys. You could already feel a pounding migraine behind your eyes and coupled with the insomnia you’ve been having lately, you were about ready to drop dead where you were standing.

The eight of you walked into the airport, you pulling your little Kumamon suitcase behind you. No one talked because you were all feeling the effects of major jet lag and were exhausted from the promotions you did in the US. It was peaceful (other than the raging headache you had) but that soon changed when you entered the main public area of the airport.

Screaming filled your ears and you had to shut your eyes from the sudden sensory overload. It did nothing to help your migraine and you almost staggered in place. Flashing cameras blinded your eyes as you walked through the airport and you suddenly felt dizzy. You grabbed the sleeve of Namjoon so you could have a sense of support and stability, and once he looked down and saw your state, he was quick to pull you close to him and put a protective arm around your shoulders.

It was like a domino effect after that; once Hobi saw your state, he reached for your suitcase and started carrying it himself. Taehyung slid up on your other side and held your hand in his. The rest of the boys made a small circle around you to try to shield you away from the screaming fans and the flashing lights.

It was hectic and the walk to the van seemed to take way longer than usual for you. If the boys said anything to you during the walk you didn’t hear them as you focused on pushing down the intense feeling of vertigo that threatened to make you fall over completely.

By the time you all got to the car, Namjoon was basically holding you up and you were breathing deeply. With the screaming and flashing now gone, you got a better sense for your surroundings and you could hear the boys clearly now.

“Y/n-ah, what’s wrong?” Asked Jin from where he was in the front passenger seat. He watched as Jungkook and Jimin helped you in the van, and saw how you stumbled when no one was supporting you. You slumped into your seat in between Yoongi and Taehyung and whispered out a pathetic ‘headache and dizzy’ to answer Jin’s question.

He frowned as the boys all searched in their bags for medicine, all their attention on helping you feel better. The van started driving and as it turned and went over bumps in the road, it made your head pound more. You groaned and from beside you Yoongi slowly maneuvered you so your head was on his lap and your feet were across Taehyung.

He slowly started to massage your head and you sighed, “Does that feel better?” You gave a small nod as Taehyung rubbed your legs, trying to sooth you. They all tried to refrain from saying anything lest it make your headache worse. Jimin hummed in slight victory as he found some advil lodged deep in his carry on and passed it to Namjoon who then passed it to Taehyung.

“Jagi, have some advil.” You sat up slowly and took some out of his hand, Jungkook handed you his water bottle and you took the medicine. “Thank you.”

The vibration from your phone caught your attention and you pulled in out of your hoodie pocket. You suddenly stopped breathing as panic took over you.

‘4 missed calls from Mom’ and ‘13 new text messages’ glared back at you. A few years ago your father got suddenly ill and he’s been in the hospital since. You knew it was an emergency when your mom and sister spammed you with messages.

‘Your father just went into the ER, please call when you can.’ - Mom

‘Please, Y/n-ah. Appa is in bad condition and we want to talk to you’ - Nayeon

Hoseok was the first person to notice your picked up breathing and how you frantically unlocked your phone to call your mom back. “Y/n-ah?”

That brought everyone’s attention back to you and they all felt slight panic coarse through them as well when they saw your state.

“Hello? Eomma?” When it went straight to voicemail your heart rate picked up more and you started crying.

“Y/n tell us what’s wrong. What’s happening?” Namjoon looked over at you and wished he could hold you somehow to comfort you. Jungkook and Jimin almost left their seats to get to you while Jin straight up almost climbed in the back.

Yoongi made you look at him as Taehyung rubbed your neck, “What’s happening?”

You choked on a sob as you hoped that your sister would pick up. “My Appa is in the ER, and he is in b-bad condition.” Your sister’s phone went to voicemail as well and your breath got caught in your throat.

Everything around you became fuzzy as you suddenly couldn’t breathe. Your headache was now raging and you felt like it was going to explode; the sleepless nights you have had recently also made you feel bone tired you didn’t know what to do. All of this mixed together made the rational part of your brain nonexistent and you automatically started thinking the worst and that sent you headfirst into a giant panic attack.

‘What if you never see him again? Never talk to him again? Never get to see him smile? What if Nayeon and Eomma hate you for not answering in his final moments? What if-‘

You struggled to breath and you think you feel multiple hands and hear multiple voices around you but your weren’t sure. You clutched your head and choked on nothing. This day just got worse and worse and you didn’t know how to handle it. The boys all around you tried to remain calm as they tried to get you to listen to them.

Jimin, with the most experience in dealing with your panic attacks, unbuckled his seatbelt so he could reach over and take your face in his hands. “Y/n, follow my voice. Can you hear me? Come back to us, it’s ok, you’re ok. Focus on the warmth of my hands, ok? We got you.”

His soft voice broke through the veil of panic and you tried to focus on his hands and voice. You took a big gulp of air and suddenly launched yourself at him and engulfed him in a hug. You were still crying as Jimin pulled his hands through your hair while Taehyung and Yoongi beside you rubbed your back.

Hoseok also unbuckled his seat belt and went to wipe the tears off your face. The five of you squeezed in the back made you feel protected and your cries got quieter. Jungkook reached back to hold your hand as Jin handed Namjoon some napkins that he then handed to Hoseok to help you clean your face.

“Now, tell us what happened, ok Jagi?” Namjoon inquired in a soft voice. You ended up telling them not only about the sudden scare with your father, but also about how you haven’t been sleeping well lately and you’ve started to feel dizzy more often.

They all waited for you to finish and by the time you did, they all had varying faces of sadness and worry. They didn’t know that you have been feeling worse the past few days and they felt guilty that they didn’t notice.

Jimin pulled you into another hug, “Let’s all take a deep breath, ok? Try calling them back again.”

You nodded and sniffed. They all waited in bated anticipation as they waited to see if your sister would pick up. Once they heard her voice the boys sighed in relief as you almost started crying again, “Nayeon-Unnie...”

“Y/n-ah,” she sounded relieved, “it’s ok, everyone is ok. It was a malfunction in the hospital equipment and they thought he suddenly stopped breathing. Appa is ok.”

You started crying again, but this time in relief. “Oh, Y/n. Don’t cry, alright? Everything is ok.” Your mom must have grabbed the phone out of your sister’s hand because now she was talking.

At your moms voice you started crying more, “Eomma...”

“Aish, it’s ok.” Your mom sounded like she was about to start crying as well. “Sorry for making you panic sweetheart.”

You couldn’t get out any words in response and Jin motioned to hand the phone over to him. He smiled even though your family couldn’t see it, “Hello, this is Jin.”

Your mom greeted him and started to ask how he was, Jin just chuckled, “I’m alright. Y/n-ah got pretty spoked though. No, she’s ok now. Don’t worry, we got her.” He chuckled again, “Yes Ma’am, we will. Alright.” Then he hung up. You must’ve spent awhile in a panic because you had all arrived home by now. 

Your headache was still raging, so Jungkook offered to carry you into the dorms. You were so, so tired and all you wanted was to sleep for three days straight. Jungkook lied you down on the couch and took a spot beside you as Namjoon took the other. Hobi went and got a blanket to drape around your shoulders as Jin started making some soup that would hopefully make you feel better.

You leaned into Namjoon and he put his hand on the back of the couch so you could lie on him. Jungkook then moved to put his arms around your waist so he could also cuddle with you. Taehyung put on your favorite disney movie and the seven of you found varying places on the couch and seats surrounding so you could all watch it together.

A few minutes in, Jin came in with not only soup for you, but for all of the boys. Before any of them started eating though, they made sure you finished yours. Jungkook even insisted on feeding you himself.

You laughed a little as you snuggled into Namjoon and the blanket. You felt warm and safe and so, so tired. With food in your stomach, your headache slowly started to ebb away and you felt like you could breathe easier now. Not even 30 minutes into the movie, you started to feel your eyes close as you struggled to stay awake.

Namjoon looked down and saw you trying it keep your eyes open, he chuckled to himself and ran his fingers through your hair. He learned down to whisper in your ear;

“Go to sleep Y/n-ah, we got you.”

[end]

~**~

end note: ahh i feel like this fic is not really as good as my other ones, so i’m sorry for that anon :( but thank you for requesting anyway! i love love love when you guys request, even though it takes a while for me to write sometimes, it makes me so happy. i hope you enjoyed it anonie 💜

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[pockpop]

running to you | han jisung

➵ summary: sequel to running out of time, your relationship with jisung is on the rocks due to jealousy and insecurity, but in the end it’s always him you run to.

➵ genre: that fluffy,angsty messy love you know

➵ a/n: this new update is making my eye twitch but errgghh I finally got some inspiration for this! I know it’s a bit late but it’s here! I hope you like it anon!

••

part one | part two

if there was one word to describe how you were feeling the night you finally met the infamous miyoung,irritation wasn’t even close.

you tried so hard to get to know her and figure out why your boyfriend was so fond of her, but the third time you heard song miyoung’s obnoxiously loud and cutesy laugh, you wanted to shove your foot down her throat.

you really wondered why in the hell jisung even invited you.

with their new comeback approaching, the boys were holding a listening party at their dorm. most of the faces you recognized because they were well known acquaintances during music shows and such but the moment you laid eyes on miyoung, she didn’t fit the picture. dressing with a full beat face of makeup and a sweater - like dress that accentuated her figure, it made you self-conscious of your simple silk black romper and boot heels. you were itching to let your hair down from your bun but refrained. she was flicking her long,wavy hair around enough.

but the part that really got you was she was sitting basically on jisung. you had only gotten up for a second to speak to some guests about your tour and answer some questions but the moment you looked back, home-girl was snuggled up nice and tight in your spot.

so now you sat beside hyunjin on the couch facing the pair, trying to listen to the music and give your honest opinions to chan who sat on the other side of you, but that hyena laugh cut you off every time. “no shut up! you know that’s not true!” you watched as she playfully hit his chest and he just grinned at her.

you visibly rolled your eyes hard and took a large sip of your drink. hearing hyunjin laugh from beside you made you cut your eye at him. you were sure you were just having a sensory overload but just the sound of it made you itch.

“can you show how displeased you are any more than you already are?”he whispered in your ear and you bumped his arm.

“she’s so damn loud, I have no idea what the past two songs you’ve played sound like.” you responded, cutting your eyes to look at jisung who was already looking at you and he looked just as bothered as you did. you watched as miyoung leaned in close to him and said something in his ear. jisung broke eye contact with you just to smile at her and your stomach felt uncomfortably sick.

“come on, let’s go get some fresh air.” hyunjin offered, already starting to stand. you didn’t hesitate to follow him, setting down your empty cup loudly.

once outside, you leaned against the railing of the balcony and took some deep breaths. just breathe y/n, you repeated to yourself but even that didn’t ease the sick feeling in your stomach.

“it’s better out here..I can actually think straight.”hyunjin mumbled, running his fingers through his hair so roughly, he ruined his style. even doing that, he still looked good.

“something bothering you?”you asked looking away from him to the city below and he sighed.”my mind is just on overload.”

“tell me about it, maybe it’ll distract my mind from..well you know.”

hyunjin smirked,”you know, you shouldn’t allow her to just be over your boy like that.”

you stomped your foot in slight annoyance,”I’m not! but she’s his friend and I gotta respect that. and hey,you’re changing the subject.”

hyunjin laughed this time and looked over to you,”you’re so jealous!”

you gasped,“am not!”

“oh you so are!”

“hyunjin! we’re not out here to talk about me. tell me what happened when I was gone.”

he paused then, his smile fading slightly and let his gaze go out to the city for a moment. “its just my usual overthinking getting to me..” he paused again but this time it was because of the sound of approaching footsteps.

you both turned to see jisung stopping just in front of the balcony doors. his blonde hair was still as fluffy and styled to perfection, his black on black outfit coordinated with yours. with his hands in his pants pockets, he almost looked pretty handsome had it not been for the scowl on his face.

“hey y/n, since the party is almost over,let me take you home.”

“but I-“

“I’ll be in the car.” he responded sharply, not even looking at you but hyunjin. you noticed miyoung was standing by the front door and you watched as he walked away joining her. they hugged real tight and then he left. miyoung watched him leave before she finally turned back to mingle with other people but she caught your gaze. she smiled happily at you and then gave her attention back to the conversation.

“you better get going, text me when you get home.”hyunjin said from beside you, nodded and touched his arm before going back inside to say goodbye to the boys.

when you finally got outside, jisung was leaning against your car in obvious aggravation. maybe it was the death stare he was giving you or how his bottom lip looked so harshly bitten on that you were sure he had broken skin.

he didn’t say anything as he opened the door for you and neither did you as you got in. he waited until you had your seat belt on before he closed the door then got into the car himself. starting the engine, he turned on the radio, letting a pop song blast through the speakers. that was obvious enough for you that he didn’t want to talk.

for most of the ride, you leaned your head against the window and listened to the song, longing for your bed and away from your feelings. but to your surprise, he turned the music down after some time and then he spoke.

“when did you and hyunjin start becoming so close?”

you sighed harshly and turned to face him,“hyunjin and I have been friends just as long as you and I have known each other, don’t act so surprised.”

he gripped the wheel tighter, his knuckles paling however he said nothing else. upon arriving to your apartment, he had walked you to the door but when you walked inside, he didn’t follow.

“what? you’re so mad at me that you’re going to stay at the dorm tonight?”

jisung briefly closed his eyes,”i’m not mad at -“

“such bullshit.” you cursed cutting him off and momentarily he was shocked.”excuse me?”

you kicked off your heels and walked further into your apartment. when you heard the door slam behind you, when you turned around around you expected to see him there but instead, you were all alone.

stubbornly, you stood there for a second. baffled and now even more annoyed. hot tears welded up in your eyes and using your thumbs to wipe at your eyes, you found yourself walking off to your room.

••

early the next morning,you woke from your sleep at the feeling of a body joining you in bed. you didn’t move but slowly opened your eyes to look at your clock that read 4:15 am. you felt jisung’s arms wrap around your middle and him snuggle his face into your neck. you tried to settle back to sleep but your eyes shot open when the smell of a fruity perfume caught your nose.

sleep had escaped you easily so you were out of bed before the sunrise. jisung was mumbling in his sleep but other than that, didn’t wake up from your absence. you walked out of the room to the kitchen and made some tea.

sitting on the counter, you let your bare legs swing back and forth as you sipped on your beverage in thought. but all you could think about was him being with her all night and just that thought drove you nuts. finishing your tea, you decided to make some breakfast to distract your thoughts. in the middle of it, the sound of jisung’s voice startled you. “you’re being loud.”

“and?”you responded with a lot more attitude than you intended and missed his annoyed facial expression.

“damn why are you being so bitchy today?” you bit your lip in anger and turned slowly away from the stove,”excuse me?”

sure, you had been slamming pots around at 7 am but still didn’t give him the right to call you ‘bitchy’.

“I don’t know, you’re in here making all this noise for no reason.”he murmured under his breath. then as if realizing what he said, he came up behind you.”I didn’t mean that the way it came out.”he tried to reason but even though you were in the middle of cooking french toast,you turned off the stove and threw the spatula onto the counter.

“you’re such a prick.”you said loud and clear before storming past him to your room. “y/n, can we not fight?!”

you ignored him, quickly getting dressed in some jeans and a hoodie. grabbing your phone, you left the bedroom to see him sitting on the counter in the kitchen. he hopped down at the sight of you,”wha-where are you going?”

“I need some air.” you answered as you slipped on your shoes and put in your airpods.

“but we need to talk.”

“why don’t you go talk to miyoung? she seems to be having all your attention these days anyway.” you made sure to slam the front door behind you just like he did the night before. but you didn’t move from in front of the door right away when you heard him yelling curse words at the top of his lungs. taking a deep breath, you quickly left the building.

it was chilly for the early morning but the sun was still shining bright as you walked down the street. you pulled out your phone and pressed shuffle on your playlist, feeling refreshed at the sound of usher’s voice blasting through your earphones. you let the music take over and gave yourself sometime to breathe.

it was obvious that not everything was alright even though he had promised it to you. all that happened in that hotel room in new york felt like a faraway dream and you wondered if you were falling apart yet again. but then again your communication was shit and you were wondering why you were even still dating him if he was spending his time with someone else.

you walked well into the late morning before your music was cut off by a phone call. you only picked up because it was hyunjin.”what’s up?”

“so she lives,”he said with a laugh,”jisung is freaking out in the group chat so please inform me why.”

groaning, you spotted a bench and sat on it, crossing your legs.”he’s just been so moody lately and I’m not here for it. he called me bitchy while I was making him breakfast!”

hyunjin started laughing again,”he’s going crazy right now. please go collect your man because he’s driving the rest of us insane. we already had to deal with this while you were gone.”

biting your lip, you considered what he said. “was he really being this difficult then too?”

“ugh yes! now please just shut him up?”

••

entering your apartment, you were surprised to see the space actually cleaned up. usually the couch was littered with your laundry and basically all of jisung’s wardrobe that never made it to your closet, but now it was spotless. the kitchen was as well, the failure of a breakfast you started was also gone.

“jisung?” you called out but you got your answer hearing music playing faintly from your private studio. slipping off your shoes, you headed to the back of your apartment to the studio. the polished wooden door was cracked open and it gave you a view of your boyfriend. his back was to you as he was scribbling in a notebook, his fluffy faded blond locks bounced as he bopped his head to the song. you recognized it as the song you both determined was your couple song.

entering the room, you rapped along to the words, your voice catching his attention. his expression was unreadable as you sat beside him. when his designated part started, he smirked at you and began to rap along to it, leaning close to you trying to intimidate but you just mushed his forehead and giggled when he dramatically fell back in his chair.

he turned the song down and turned to face you completely,”so where did you go?”

“I uh, went for a walk to clear my head.” jisung glanced down at his notebook for a moment but looked back up at you when you began to speak again. “we need to talk about some things..”

“okay..like this morning?”

“yeah and last night and this miyoung thing...look I know I told you that I was okay with you being friends with her and all but after last night and-and you coming home smelling like her-“you shook your head and looked up at the ceiling to stop the tears that were burning at your eyes.

jisung touched your thigh but you moved your thigh away from him,”why did you go see her after our fight? why are you so close to her? what is it about her that I don’t have?”the words came out of your mouth faster than you could think but even jisung looked shocked. “she likes you so much,way more than just some fan feelings and I know you like her too.” jisung started shaking his head,”jisung stop lying I know you-“

“no you don’t! if I liked her that way, why did I go to her place to tell her that I didn’t want to see her anymore? that we couldn’t be friends any longer?”

you stared at him and he shrugged,”I saw you didn’t like it. plus I was getting tired of her always whispering shit in my ear that she could’ve just said out loud.”

a laugh escaped your lips and jisung smiled at the sight of it. “i miss seeing you laugh,”he murmured and you clicked your tongue obnoxiously,“you had home-girl too far up your ass to notice me.”

jisung smacked his teeth together,”I’ve been waiting three months to finally be with just you, with miyoung following me around like a puppy dog and the moment I’m finally with you again, everyone else was around...but then hyunjin was all over you and-“

exasperated, it took everything in you not to roll your eyes,“he was not.”

“y/n, he totally was! I was so upset that I took it out on you last night and i’m sorry about that.”

you looked into his eyes, those same joyful,sweet brown eyes you fell for so long ago. “you don’t have to be jealous of anyone..we were talking about you anyway.”jisung narrowed his eyes at you when you started to smile.

“and what were you saying?”he asked slowly. smirking at him, you scooted your chair closer and motioned for him to lean in closer. curiously,he leaned in and once he did, you grabbed his face and pressed your lips against his soft ones.

as your lips moved in sync,he let out a content sigh and blindly reached for you. he pulled you onto his lap and angled his head just to deepened the kiss.

however, when you felt his hands sneaking up your hoodie,you pulled away just enough that his lips were still close to yours.

breathless, you waited until he opened his eyes and you swore you saw stars. kissing his top lip, he tried to capture you in another kiss but you pulled away in time. “okay fine, now tell me what you were talking about with him.”

you rolled your eyes,”that you are a short,cute little dork and beautiful in every way.” jisung scrunched up his face in distaste.”i’m highly offended on the remarks about my height but please continue about how beautiful I am.”

you hummed and leaned forward to run your fingers through his fluffy fringe. you got a good grip on it and tilted his head back just enough before you leaned down and kissed him again.

“I wub yuh”he murmured against your mouth and you had to pull away to laugh at him. “sorry, come again?”

jisung smirked at you then pecked your chin,”my beautiful,beautiful y/n..I love you.”

“I love you too.”

he smirked,”promise?”

“always.”