#and the similarities and differences between them

[cressidagrey]

Stars all aligned - Chapter 1

Summary:

If there was one thing that both Azriel and Zahra Archeron had in common, it was that they were both very good at blending into the background.

They just never thought that their family were going to be the ones who never saw them at all.

Warning:

Bashing of like...every IC member? I think Rhys gets the worst though, definitely disordered eating, kinda depression?, isolation

(Lovely dividers thanks to @sweetmelodygraphics)

He found her deep inside the House of Wind. Far enough from the festivities of Starfall that it was startling to find her.

The second oldest Archeron Sister must have wandered off just like he had.

“Why aren’t you dancing?” Azriel asked her as he spied her sitting in a puddle of her skirts on one of the couches, staring at the empty fireplace.

“Why aren’t you?” Zahra gave back drily, not even looking up at him.

What exactly was he supposed to answer to that? Oh, I can't stomach watching your sister dance with her mate? And even if I could stomach that, Rhys's mental commentary to him about it had turned his stomach. Even when Azriel had kept away from Elain just like Rhysand had ordered him to do, ever since last year. So really...what was he supposed to answer?

“Dancing isn’t exactly my favourite activity,” Azriel finally replied. It wasn’t a lie. 

"Yeah, well, mine neither," she answered with a shrug. "Not that I ever learned."

"You never learned?" he asked surprised. Nesta had learned. Elain had learned.

"Bastard, remember?" Zahra said drily. "I am lucky that I got to learn how to read and write and do basic math. I was not going to be molded into a perfect lady, because no self-respecting man would marry me anyway."

The blunt way Zahra was talking stunned Azriel momentarily. There was something harsh, something almost...bitter and resentful in her voice as she spoke.

It seemed like it didn't matter if one was born a bastard in Illyria or the Human lands. It was horrible either way.

"Your sisters will miss you," he said instead quietly. "And you'll miss the spectacle."

"I don't really care for the festivities," she said with another shrug. "I don’t like the holidays. Humans don’t have any. We… they are too busy trying to survive," Zahra corrected herself quietly. "And besides, I am only here anyway so I don't end up being an indentured servant until some of you decide that I am back in your good graces,” she gave back caustically.

He grimaced. That Zahra had vehemently disagreed about their treatment of Nesta was well known.

It had surprised him too because it was just as just as well known that Nesta seemed to not care for her half-sister on a good day. They weren't particularly close, in any way, shape or form.

Something in his chest clenched painfully. Not from the insult she threw in his direction, but from the defeated way she said it. That she thought that they would just…toss her aside like that.

She was one of them.

"We won't," he said firmly. Her eyes slowly turned toward him and there were dark shadows in those eyes. Out of all the Archeron Sisters, she was the only one with green eyes. Azriel wondered if she had inherited them from her late mother.

Zahra was only the half-sister after all. The result of her father’s dalliance with a maid. Her age put her somewhere between Nesta and Elain. 

It was easy enough to pick out the differences between Nesta, Elain and Feyre and Zahra. Dark hair similar to Elain’s, but green eyes. Skin a few shades darker than any of theirs. Lips that looked like Feyre’s but a nose that looked like none of her sisters. 

Zahra seemed to belong but didn’t. 

And right now, these green eyes…something was wrong. Something was off with these eyes. 

"You don’t know that," she said with a humourless laugh. "Do you want to lie to me too, and  tell me that Rhysand has nothing to do with whatever happened between Elain and you?"

Azriel stiffened, a low sound escaping his throat. She knew. She knew.

"How did you-" he croaked hoarsely and Zahra cocked an eyebrow at him.

 "Do you really think that I hadn't noticed the two of you dancing around each other for months? Or the fact that you two can barely manage to be in the same room together?" she asked dryly and Azriel averted his gaze.  "There is no one as beautiful and kind as my sister," Zahra said drily. "I don't fault you for falling for her."

Azriel said nothing, the pain in his chest growing at her words. The pain...and the bitter realization that his feelings were not as well-hidden as he had thought they were. 

"It doesn't matter," he said quietly. "She has a mate. She deserves better than me anyway."

"Did Rhysand tell you that too?" Zahra said drily. "You never tried to hide the fact that your mate was dying from the same, so you have that on him."

Azriel gritted his teeth, the pain in his chest becoming almost unbearable. "It doesn’t matter," he repeated firmly, the words tasting like ash in his mouth. "Elain is happy. I would do nothing to put that in danger." 

"Yes, she is," Zahra agreed. "For what it's worth, I am sorry," she apologised to him, her voice honest.

Azriel swallowed, the pain in his chest lessening only to be replaced by something else. Something...much more complicated. Something like…pity.

He pitied her. This young female was so full of bitterness. He couldn’t even fault her for it either. She had been just a bastard. Even when they had first met the Archeron Sisters…Zahra had been working in the household as a maid. Half employee, half part of the family. Like their father couldn’t make up his mind what he should do with his bastard daughter. 

"You don't have anything to apologise for," Azriel finally told her quietly. "Do you really not want to watch?" he asked her. "You are supposed to wish for something when you see the stars fall."

She snorted, the sound bitter. "What I want, I am never going to get," Zahra said, her voice brittle.

He took her in in more detail at that moment.

The simple green gown she wore, high necked and long sleeved...that long gown that did little to hide how thing she was. The dark brown hair, pulled into a braid, obviously trying to hide the pointed tips of her ears and failing...the way her skin, darker than all of her sisters, was nearly ashen.

They had all thought that she was doing well. That Zahra at least was adjusting well.

But she wasn't. She wasn’t doing better.  She hadn't adjusted. Azriel would bet anything that all she wanted in her life was to be human again.

She hadn't adjusted. She just acted in a way that didn't bother anybody, that didn’t spell trouble for anybody.  Zahra had gotten herself a job, managing the accounting at an apothecary in the city.  She had gotten herself a little cottage to rent. She didn’t go out and get drunk. She didn’t use any money from Rhys or Feyre. She showed up for family dinners, staying quiet and polite. 

And if she was miserable…well, then nobody cared, because she didn’t bother anybody. Azriel could understand that. The same was the case for him.

Azriel clenched his jaw, watching her quietly sitting here. The way she was trying to hide away. The dress that was more like a potato sack than anything else. The way her skin was almost...grey. That bitter voice. 

The shadows were stirring and he was unable to look away from her. She looks upset, Master, they told him helpfully. 

"Do you want to go home?" Azriel offered quietly. Home to her cottage? Maybe some peace and quiet would make her feel better. 

Zahra shrugged, not looking at him. Not giving him an inch. That wall of bitterness and sarcasm was so firmly in place, that it was practically a solid wall between them. 

“Don’t want to end like an indentured servant, remember?“ she quipped drily.

“You won’t,“ Azriel said evenly. “You had a headache. I brought you home.“

She still didn’t look at him, her hands tightly knotted into her skirts as she sat there. She was so thin, almost fragile-looking. Her skin was sickly grey. “Come on,” he said finally, walking towards her.

Zahra finally looked up at him. Those green eyes. A bitter and lonely light in them. “What are you doing?“ she muttered. 

“I’m bringing you home,” he said simply, holding out his hand. “Come on, get up.“

Zahra looked at his hand, her gaze wary. “Why?“ she asked quietly. 

“Because you look like you are about to keel over,” he said, more bluntly than intended. 

“Gee, thanks,” she said dryly, her voice sarcastic and bitter. But she placed her hand into his own and let him pull her to her feet, even though he could feel the tension in her entire body. 

Azriel wrapped his arm around her shoulders, steadying her. “Come on. Let’s get you home and into bed,” he said firmly. 

He led her towards the balcony, the last few streaks of light painting the sky, and he grasped her tightly as they shout these few feet into the air until he could winnow to the cottage she rented. 

It’s ugly, the shadows complained. 

He had to agree with them. The cottage was an ugly little thing. Plain. Small. The type of thing that was more of a hovel in the outskirts, rather than anything else. 

“Home sweet home,“ Zahra said dryly, pulling away from him and a key out of her purse. 

That cottage was in serious need of some renovations when the red paint that was flaking off the door was anything to go by. 

As she unlocked the door it became obvious that while she kept it clean and neat.. even that couldn’t help much. This is a hovel, the shadows hissed.

Azriel was inclined to agree. He looked around with a frown, as the shadows scuttered around the tiny cottage. “You live here?“ he couldn’t help but ask. It was a terrible hovel indeed. 

Zahra shrugged as if she didn’t notice the disgust in his voice. “I couldn’t exactly afford anything else at first,” she said drily. 

At least not without taking any money from Rhys and Feyre, and clearly that was nothing that Zahra wanted to do. 

He was struck by how empty it all looked. There was a small kitchen space, a table with a few chairs a fireplace… And the door that led to her bedroom, he assumed. 

“How long have you lived here?“ he asked carefully, taking in the bare emptiness. There were no pictures on the walls. No trinkets and little belongings anywhere. It was…lifeless. She shrugged again and kicked off her shoes, making her way towards the bedroom. “A year?“

The room was equally simple and bare. A bed, a few clothes. A little bathing chamber. That was it. 

“You’ve lived here for over a year?“ Azriel repeated, his voice turning sharp as he looked at everything. There wasn’t even a mirror on the wall. 

When she just shrugged again, he was done. He grabbed her arm and towed her back into the main room. “Stay,” he ordered, pointing at the table and one of the two rickety chairs. 

“What are you doing?“ Zahra asked, raising both eyebrows at him. Her irritation had started to rise considerably. At least that had done something to the sickly colour of her skin. 

“Making sure you eat something before you pass out on me,” Azriel muttered, turning back into the kitchen area, looking around with a frown.

There was…nothing. His shadows reported as much. She literally had a few pieces of bread and some cheese in the whole house. He was more than fuming. That was not enough that she was living in…this hovel, she was apparently also starving herself.

He pointed at the chair again. “Sit,” he ordered a little sharper than he had intended. 

The glare she gave him did not surprise him. Zahra hated being ordered around. “No,” she said firmly, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “I’m not hungry.“

Azriel clenched his jaw, the anger flaring. How stubborn could she be? 

“You clearly haven’t eaten in days,” he said, pointing out the obvious. “You have nothing in your house to eat.” 

“I have what I need,” she retorted, her own anger flaring. Azriel gritted his teeth, the urge to snap at her almost overwhelming.

“You are skin and bones,” he hissed. “There is barely enough fat on you to keep out the cold.“ 

“Why do you care?“ she snapped right back.

The question hit him squarely in the chest. Why did he care? Why, he asked himself for a moment. Why indeed.

He wasn’t going to lie to himself and say that it was just because she was Feyre’s sister. 

Thankfully, Azriel was saved from actually having to answer, when her stomach grumbled.

Loudly. Azriel almost chuckled at the sound of her own stomach betraying just how hungry she really was. “Clearly your body disagrees with you,” he said drily. 

“Shut up,” Zahra snapped, her skin flushing at the sound of her own stomach. 

“I will shut up after you’ve eaten something,” Azriel said firmly, folding his arms across his chest.

Zahra gave him a glare that could strip the paint from the walls, (but then, the paint was already flaking off anyway). Still, she grudgingly sank down on the chair, her eyes avoiding his. 

He turned back into the kitchen, opening cupboards and drawers and found absolutely nothing. There was nothing. Not even some fruits or vegetables. 

He slammed the last cupboard closed, almost causing the hinges to break, the anger flaring hotly in his chest. That stupid, stubborn, stubborn woman.

“I will personally come here every day and stuff you full until you burst,” he snapped before he could stop himself.

“Why?” she asked and he could hear the challenge in her voice. Her own anger rose to meet his own. “Why would you even bother?“ 

“Because you are starving yourself,” he said, spinning around to face her. “Because you are so thin, I could snap you in half with one hand. Because I’m pretty damn sure you haven’t eaten a proper meal in at least a year. That’s why.“

“Maybe I don’t deserve a proper meal,” she shot back and something inside of him snapped at the tone in her voice. 

Because he knew that feeling. He knew. For just a moment he froze. They were far more similar than they should be. 

It was a terrible realization. He knew what the self-hatred and bitterness was like. He understood it far better than he wanted to.

“Nobody is going to suddenly show up and care,” he told her quietly. He saw her eyes flare at the words and he knew she got the meaning behind them instantly.

She sat there, her jaw tensed. “And what do you know about it?” she snapped, her voice bitter. 

“I know what it feels like to starve oneself,” he said calmly. “I know what it feels like to have not a single person notice or care.“

The words rang truer than they should. Her eyes widened for a moment, shock flashing through her. 

“I know what it feels like to be the one be always at the edge of the family. I know what it feels like for everybody around me to meet their mate but not me.“

The words slipped out before he could stop them. The pain he had buried so deep, deep down flaring up. The pain and loneliness and bitter realization that would never have what everyone else had.

He realized only then how much they really had in common. How similar they were. 

“I know what it feels like to be the afterthought,” he continued, unable to stop now. “I know how it feels to be shoved aside. I know how it feels to watch everyone around me find someone while I’m the one left behind.“ 

He took a step closer to where she was sitting, towering over her. “And I know how it feels to hate myself enough to deny myself the basic needs I actually have.“ 

The last words made her flinch. He was so close he could almost see the pain and guilt and bitter realization flit across her face. Her eyes were on her lap, her fingers wrapped around the edge of the table. 

“I know what it feels like to feel as if I don’t deserve to eat,” he said quietly. “Because I’m not good enough. Not worthy enough. Not deserving enough.“

He knelt down in front of her, forcing her to look at him. To meet his eyes. 

She tried to look away, but he wouldn’t let her. He wanted her to see. To understand that she wasn’t as alone as she thought. “I know what it feels like to punish myself by not giving myself what I actually need,” he said quietly. 

Her breath hitched at the last words, her eyes widening ever so slightly. She was listening. Really listening to what he said.

“You’re not the only one who hates yourself, you know,” he said quietly. The look in her eyes shattered him. The look of realisation. Of bitter understanding. The realization that they were so much more similar than either of them had thought before.

Zahra bit her lip, the guilt flashing across her face. Her hands started trembling, ever so slightly.

“You don’t deserve to go hungry,” he said quietly, his voice firm and quiet. “You don’t deserve to starve yourself. You don’t deserve to live in this… hovel.

“The cauldron should just have killed me,” Zara said her voice brittle. “I don’t like this life.”

And didn’t that break his fucking heart? 

She laughed bitterly, but there was no humour in it. “I’m not even surviving,” she said, a bitter smile on her thin lips. “I’m existing. There is a difference.“ 

The words hit him hard. She was right. She didn’t survive, she just existed. There was a difference and a huge one at that. “Then stop just existing,” he said quietly.

His hand was still cupping her cheek, his thumb stroking gently over her skin. 

“Says the guy that just keeps moping around,” she quipped.

It was a low blow but also true. Azriel’s jaw tensed at the comment. “I don’t mope,” he bit. “I just..“

He didn’t really have a good argument in his defence at the moment. 

He sighed. “We should both stop rotting away,” he said drily.

“Yeah, well, that’s easy to you to say,” Zahra said and he could hear the bitterness in her voice. 

“Eat your cheese,” he responded.

She rolled her eyes and snatched away the slice of cheese off the table. “Happy now?“ she muttered. 

“Delighted,” he gave back drily, as he moved towards her fireplace.

“You don’t need to do that,” Zahra said quietly. “I can do that.”

“Considering you’ve been too starved to think straight, you are going to let me do this,” Azriel cut across her calmly. “You are more than likely to burn yourself.” 

“Don’t the flames bother you?” She asked him quietly. He froze.

Nobody else had ever asked him. They had just expected him to be over it by now. He had 500 years to be over it. His hands clenched.

“Yes,” he answered quietly. “They still do.” It was the honest truth. A truth he never told anyone before, least of all someone like her. The shadows curled around his shoulders and arms as if to calm him down. The flames still bothered him. They always would. “But I learnt to deal with it a long time ago,” he continued.

“That’s not fair to you,” Zahra said, her voice quiet. “You are always the one in discomfort. And nobody cares.”

Her words hit him square in the gut. It was true. It was painfully true. He was always the one being uncomfortable. Always the one on edge. It had always been expected of him to be over it by now, the pain and the hurt. The fear and the bitterness. 

He finished building the fire. Using a match to light it carefully, then closing the door quickly.

“I can deal with it,” he answered quietly. “You should go to sleep,” he advised her.

“So should you,” Zahra told him just as quietly. “You look terrible.“ He knew he looked like crap. But that didn’t matter. 

“I’m fine,” he muttered, brushing off her comment. Even though he knew it was a lie. Even though he knew they were both terrible at taking care of themselves. 

“You are a terrible liar,” she quipped. He looked at her and was surprised to see a tiny smile on her face. 

“And you’re a very stubborn, very stupid, very annoying woman,” he quipped back just as quietly. 

The smile on her face broadened the tiniest bit at the comment. “I could say the same about you,” she shot back. 

“Sleep,” he told her again.

And then he left that little cottage to get back to the House of Wind. He didn’t bother winnowing, instead, he shot up into the sky with one flap of his mighty wings. He wouldn’t be able to sleep anyway.

His mind was whirling as he flew back to the House of Wind. So much had happened in the last few hours and it was all still a lot to process.

He had always been good at keeping a rein on his thoughts and his emotions. But this time, he simply couldn’t. 

Zahra and him, always on the outskirts of their family. Ignored and expected to get on with it.

They were so similar in so many ways. It was shocking to realize just how much they actually had in common.

The loneliness and solitude he had come to live with, she had experienced herself. The pain and the bitterness, he could recognize it on her, for he had felt it himself. 

Where are you, Az? Rhys demanded at that moment mentally. Azriel would like to scratch out his eyes, but he didn’t.

I’m flying back to the House, he sent back curtly. Zahra had a headache, so I brought her home.

A headache, Rhys shot back incredulously. Azriel could almost see the look on his High Lord’s face. You really think I will buy that?

I don’t care if you believe me or not, Azriel responded icily, his temper rising already at the tone. It is the truth and I really don’t wish to have a discussion over it.

There was a pause in Rhys’ mind. Then a slight huff. You can be so unbelievably stubborn sometimes, you know that?

Azriel didn’t bother reacting to that.

Elain and Lucien are figuring things out. So keep away from her, Rhys told him sharply.

I am keeping away from her, Azriel shot back, irritation flaring. You really think I will go and ruin this for her?

I don’t know what you are up to, Rhys retorted, and Azriel knew the High Lord was irritated. But I really don’t have the time to deal with your crap right now. That’s an order.

Understood, High Lord, Azriel snarled back and he felt Rhys chuckle in his mind at the tone. I will keep away from your precious Elain, I promise. 

Damn right you will, he heard Rhys mutter in his mind and the mental connection between the two of them snapped close. 

Azriel snarled in irritation as he landed on his balcony and stalked into his room. It wasn’t enough that he was wrestling with his own emotions, No, he also had Rhys all up his ass about it. 

And he was infuriated about the whole thing.

Nobody will suddenly show up and care, he has told Zahra. It was the truth. Nobody would care.

They only cared as long as they got what they wanted from him.

Chip away the pieces they didn’t like. Mould him into a person they could stomach. 

Either it was Rhys ordering to keep away from Elain…or ordering him to behave around Mor and Emerie… and to be quite honest…Azriel was done.

It was always him that needed to bend to make everybody else comfortable. Nobody bends for him.

So many years of following orders, of keeping his mouth shut, of bottling up the anger.

Even when everyone around him was getting what they wanted. They got their happily ever after. And he was left behind.  Not once did someone ever realize that he was struggling. Not once did someone notice that he needed something…anything. That he was hurting and in pain. Nobody even bothered to check on him, to ask how he was doing. 

They all got what they wanted. Mor, Emerie, even Feyre. They all got the mate that they wanted. Rhys, Cassian and even Amren had Varian. 

He was the one always helping everyone else. Always the one having to endure everything. Never anything for himself. No love for himself.

Orders, commands, demands…that’s all it ever was. He didn’t get a say in anything. They just expected him to be fine. And if he wasn’t…he had to push through it. 

He was the tool that did whatever needed to be done. The spy that got the order to do the dirty work. The shadowsinger that just had to endure everything. 

All for scraps of attention.

Azriel was done.

He was so done. With everything. With everyone. With the one-sided affection that he had given in a desperate attempt to feel…something, anything…. 

He needed to stop expecting to get anything from them.

Zahra did not. She seemed to have given that up a very long time ago

The cold realization that they had been doing the same to her hit him. She was also the tool they used when they needed it. She may not be a spy, but they used her just the same. Expected her to be fine. 

She was alone just as much as he was. 

Alone and isolated, an afterthought to their family just as much as he was. 

***

It was quiet in the little cottage. 

Peaceful. 

Comfortable.

Sie should be happy. Or at the very least…she should be content, should she not?.

Zahra had a roof over her head. And if she wanted to…she could afford food.

Her job didn’t pay that well, but it wouldn’t leave her starving. She just wasn’t hungry. She seemingly never was.

That was a lie and she knew it. Deep down she was hungry all the time. She just refused to give in to eating. She refused to listen to her body screaming for sustenance. It didn’t matter, anyway. Nobody cared.

She didn’t care.

Something inside her had broken during her bath in that cauldron. Her humanity had burned away and with that…with that everything Zahra had ever wanted.

She didn’t crave anything anymore. Not love. Not affection. Not attention. Not food. It was all gone. All she felt was numb. 

Cold, empty and numb. Like her shell had hardened and frozen over.

She had never thought it was possible to feel so damn tired without having done anything. 

Zahra forced herself to get up. Forced herself to heat some water on the stove… to make tea. The cheapest tea she had been able to find at the market.

It wasn’t the best. The taste was bitter and the color was more brown than black. But it was tea and she was thirsty enough to drink it.

It wasn’t very warm and left a bitter aftertaste on the tongue. Like her life itself. 

Maybe just dying would have been easier, she reflected bitterly. Was this how eternity would feel? Alone? Tucked away in this cottage? 

All her sisters had been given a mating bond. They had been given another person who loved them unconditionally…that was at their side. That wanted them around. That wanted to spent time with them. 

And then there was her. 

She had been closest to Feyre during the years in that cottage. Nesta gave her the fault for seemingly everything htat had ever gone wrong in her life, though Zahra privately thought that for Nesta, Zahra was just the evidence of another of her father’s failings…Elain…well, Elain was more embarrassed than anything about Zahra’s very existence. But Feyre…well, Feyre hadn’t cared. And so Zahra had tried to dote on her as much as she could. 

And then clearly she had been replaced in Feyre’s affections. 

She didn’t fault her for that. 

Feyre had made her own life. And she had every right to do that. She was busy with her mate and her son and Mor was her best friend and…there was seemingly no place for Zahra there. 

Which was fine. 

It was. 

But if Zahra was completely honest with herself…she was unspeakably jealous of the mating bond of every single one of her sisters. 

Of that promise of at least one person that would be on her side, come Hel or High Water. 

Clearly, something was wrong with her that she hadn’t been given a Mating Bond.

She wasn’t worth a mate. Clearly, something was broken inside her. Otherwise, the cauldron would have given her a mate, right? 

Maybe she was broken so thoroughly that nobody even wanted her. 

Why would they? She was a shell of a person, a ghost of the woman she was supposed to be.

She was cold, empty and numb. Everything that nobody could possibly want. 

Everyone else got a mate, love and happiness. Not her.

She had nothing.

Her hands clenched around her lukewarm cup of tea. 

Some random sparks of light sparked against the mug. A gift from the cauldron. They didn’t seem to do anything but warm whatever they touched. Maybe that was that random power the cauldron had given her. Neither future or death…but…warmth. She supposed it was something.

She wasn’t quite sure what to do with it, and she had never bothered telling anybody about it. 

Sometimes she allowed herself to play with them when she couldn’t sleep. They were strange and utterly useless. 

It wasn’t the power of foresight or the power of a death god…no. She had the stupid power to create sparks. Useless sparks of light. 

Oh well. 

Complaining about her sparks wasn’t going to help her either. 

So she pulled out her work and sat down to do her work as the sun came up and the day went on. 

Zahra balanced the account ledgers for one of the apothecaries in Velaris. Which meant she had a whole box of receipts to sort through and put into said ledger.

One receipt at a time, one name after the other. 

It kept her busy. It paid well enough. She seemed to have some kind of aptitude for it…maybe the fact that her father was a merchant had come through for once. 

She worked until the late evening. Until her eyes couldn’t concentrate on the numbers anymore.Until her back and shoulders ached with pain. She stretched her shoulders back. 

She wondered if she should eat something. Her cheese was gone, thanks to Azriel standing over her until she ate it…but she still had one or two slices of bread, didn’t she? 

She could go food shopping…buy another bread, another chunk of cheese tomorrow. 

Then Zahra heard a knock on the door. 

Confusion spread through her. Who would knock on her door at that very late hour? It was after 9 pm already. 

She got up, walked towards the door and opened it carefully.

It was the last person she would expected to be standing on the front porch. Azriel. 

“I am making you dinner.“

Her eyes widened at that announcement. “You are what?” she asked him dumbly. 

He just gave her a deadpan look and pushed past her. “I am cooking dinner because I am assuming that you haven’t eaten yet,” he told her plainly. 

It was true. Zahra hadn’t eaten a proper meal in god knows how long. But why did he care?? “Why?” she blurted out. “Why do you care if I’ve eaten?” 

He gave her a sharp look and pushed her towards the kitchen chair. “Sit down,” he simply ordered and she was too taken aback to protest against it. 

He had brought his own ingredients. His own knives, all tucked away in a little basket that he put on her countertop. “Can you peel potatoes?” He asked her as he rummaged through it. 

She could just stare at him. 

“Who do you think cooked the meat Feyre hunted?” Zahra replied drily.

Azriel froze in the process of digging something out of the basket on the counter. “You can cook?” he asked her and she heard the surprise in his voice. 

Zahra let out a snort. “Yes, I can cook,” she retorted. “What did you think I was doing this whole time in the cottage? Twiddling my thumbs?” 

He shrugged. “Honestly, I had no idea what you were up to,” he told her truthfully.  “I thought you were as useless as Elain and Nesta were at that point,” he admitted.

“Nesta did all the cleaning and hacked the wook,” Zara corrected him quietly. “Elain mended. I cooked. Feyre was the only one who hunted. And yes, we should have done more, but I did help run the household. The only one who never helped was our father.” The bitterness bled into her voice at that. 

There was a long pause after her admission. Then Azriel exhaled. “I guess I shouldn’t be as surprised as I am,” he muttered. “You don’t strike me as a pampered useless damsel.” 

“Thank you for that assessment, Shadowsinger,” she quipped back. “I will make sure to remember it when I need a pick-me-up.” 

He put a sack of potatoes in front of her. “I take it I’m peeling potatoes,” Zahra murmured, staring at the sack that was in front of her.

“Yes,” Azriel confirmed in that no-nonsense voice of his. “While I prep the meat. I do hope you like rabbit,” he added drily.

“Oh good,” she muttered, grabbing a knife and started to peel away at the potatoes. “Did you hunt it?”

“Yes,” he confirmed, his voice neutral. Zahra bit back a snarky remark and focused on the potatoes. 

They worked like that in silence. Him preparing the meat, her peeling the potatoes and the carrots.

It was odd. This whole thing was odd. Sitting and cooking with Azriel. She hadn’t even known he could cook. 

And yet…it was comfortable. Like the silence wasn’t awkward and neither of them felt the need to break it. It was a comfortable domestic kind of silence. Like they had done this a thousand times before. 

“How are you with spicy food?” Azriel asked her after he had taken the potatoes from her. 

Zahra blinked in surprise. “I have a pretty good tolerance, why?” she asked, curious. 

“All the food I can cook is Illyrian,” Azriel answered drily. “I learned from Rhys’ mother and later from my own. It’s spicy.”

“I can handle a bit of spice,” she assured him. “It should be fine.” He nodded in response. 

The sound of the fire crackling in the stove and him stirring up the meat were the only sounds filling the kitchen as they continued their work. 

Zahra honestly had no idea Azriel could cook. He didn’t seem like the type of male who spent time cooped up in the kitchen, making meals. It was a little surprising. 

And yet, the scents of spices and rabbit were filling her kitchen right now... It smelled almost heavenly. 

She hadn’t smelled something as heavenly in a long time. And her stomach growled in response to the delicious scents of food. Zahra tried to remember when she’d last eaten something actually decent, but she couldn’t think straight. The food was distracting her.

“You look half starved,” Azriel observed in a deadpanned tone and she snapped her head up only to find him looking at her. 

His eyes were focused on her, a frown playing on his forehead. “When was the last time you actually ate something properly?” he asked her, his voice firm. 

She averted her gaze. “I don’t know,” she muttered, looking away from him and to the pot bubbling on the stove. “Maybe a week ago?” 

He was silent for a moment. “That long?” he asked her, his voice carefully neutral. She just shrugged in response to keep herself from admitting that she actually couldn’t remember exactly. 

He poured hot, thick stew into a bowl for her and then put it in front of her, holding out cutlery for her to take. “Why are you doing this?” Zahra asked him weakly.

“Because I wish somehow had done it for me,” Azriel responded

That simple statement made her blink in surprise. It was not an answer she had been expecting. She bit her lip, not really sure what to say. 

And then he simply said. “Eat. You look like you’d blow away at the slightest breeze.”

She should have been angered by that blunt statement, but somehow she wasn’t. 

So Zahra ate.

The food tasted incredibly good. She had to admit that the Shadowsinger was talented with cooking. The food was spiced just perfectly, hot and filled with flavour. 

Every bite made her realize just how incredibly hungry she was. Her stomach filled slowly and the hunger abated with every spoonful. It was like her insides started to come back to life. The numbness was slowly disappearing, replaced by an odd sort of warmth flowing through her limbs. 

"Thank you," she finally said weakly.

Azriel just nodded at her, watching her eat. “Of course,” he murmured and continued with his own food. 

[arscorpii]

the way utena held onto wakaba and anthy's hands, trying her best to not let go (even though utena was barely holding onto anthy's hand, i'm sure she never wished to let anthy slip away from her grasp). both shots were lit with soft lighting ⟶ to highlight the importance of the person utena was holding onto and their bonds to utena.

the fact that she reached out to them with her left hand, the hand on which she wore her rose crest ring (the ring being clearly visible in both shots) ⟶ utena believed that she could only save wakaba and anthy by being a prince/playing the role of a prince.

utena caught wakaba's right hand with her left hand; wakaba wasn't holding back. meanwhile, anthy reached out to utena's left hand with her left hand as well. i think the difference in how each pair held hands may lie within the ideals between the pairs in their respective circumstances. with regard to wakaba, she harboured lots of pent-up emotions and thoughts about how unfairly the (ohtori) world treated the people it regarded as "special" and "ordinary," such as utena and herself. wakaba was clouded with feelings of inferiority and wanted to be special, to put it simply. utena didn't understand/wasn't aware of these dichotomous mechanisms/systems at play, at this point at least. these conflicting ideals, as in, awareness versus ignorance, were represented in the way they held hands; the hero/chosen one with her firm grasp on the motionless hand of the underdog/forgettable one.

with regard to anthy, the moment utena cracked open her coffin was the first time the both of them saw each other as they truly were. utena believed in a world beyond eternal pain and suffering anthy had to endure and wanted to share that view with her, wanted anthy to see and experience such a world, to save her from this needless perdition for good. eventually, anthy took the chance on the possibility, given how unyielding utena was in trying to reach her despite being stabbed by anthy herself; anthy hesitantly reached out to utena. both utena and anthy wanted to believe in a world where suffering is transient when they reached out to one another through the coffin opening, and not an eternally all-consuming pain as their fates in ohtori. they shared similar hopes in that moment.

utena reached out to both wakaba and anthy with kindness and love:

in the duel with wakaba, she never drew out the sword of dios or fought her. utena de-escalated the duel carefully by taking hold of wakaba's sword (the sword pulled out of saionji) and cutting off the black rose. despite not understanding the sequence of events that had them facing each other off in the dueling arena, wakaba was one of utena's closest friends and utena would save her. it's a little interesting to note that the audience (and utena, too i believe) didn't get a glimpse of wakaba's face during utena's speech as above. in addition, the focus on their interlocked hands when utena mentioned about not understanding the situation and saving wakaba is also interesting (even though the interlocked hands were due to them struggling against each other). it's possible what utena said at that moment may have reached her heart even while being under the control of the black rose. perhaps the speech may have made wakaba realise that she was indeed special. this "specialness" was emphasised by utena not letting wakaba fall into the outline of one of the bodies like the other black rose duelists; because she mattered to utena. "to not be chosen is to die" but in a way, she was chosen by utena here beyond the presented choice between her or anthy. utena chose wakaba and anthy.

in episode 39, akio used the sword pulled out of utena to break through the rose gate. utena was injured and incapacitated by anthy's stab, while anthy was relentlessly impaled with millions of swords embodying humanity's hatred. akio's futile attempts eventually broke the sword and he gave up on the pursuit. so long as he had anthy, he could try again, as in, try again to gain the power to "revolutionise the world" instead of freeing his little sister. utena tried opening the rose gate with her bare hands; dragging her injured body there, clinging onto the thorny vines of the roses on the gate, pushing through the large stone doors. she only wanted to stop the swords from hurting anthy, to help her. utena's love and care for anthy finally unlocked the rose gate into anthy's coffin. utena steadfastly held out her hand to anthy despite anthy's protests. utena's efforts moved anthy to tears, and she reached out to her. in episode 38, utena chose anthy over akio, and all the way back to episode 11, utena chose anthy over the power to revolutionise the world. utena had always chosen anthy against all odds and choices.

the aftermath:

wakaba wasn't holding back possibly due to being under the control of the black rose while anthy's hand eventually slipped away from utena's hold.

nevertheless, utena's efforts matter, very much so, because wakaba will always be on utena's side no matter what happens and anthy will find utena no matter where she is.

[austinbutlerslovers]

The Good Girl

Label Mature 18+

One Shot

Summary Shy timid and sweet by nature you have trouble adjusting to the real world until a fateful chain of events compels  you to do something a good girl would never dream of.

Heading from Michigan state back to Wisconsin for spring break you get stranded in a downpour with your roommate on the out skirts of Chicago.

Luckily for you there’s a bar nearby to seek help where you meet a handsome stranger who blurs the lines between right and wrong, until you find yourself drawn into a wild night of passion.

⚠️ Hardcore Smut ⚠️ dubcon •coercion • inexperience •shyness •corruption •age gap• power play• overstimulation •fingering •nipple play•teasing• •size kink • orgasms • protection

Inspo two requests similar theme for Benny ☺️ age gap +innocent reader + smut (obsessed so I combined them 💞) enjoy *Special thanks @thejoywillburnoutthepain

The Good Girl

You and your friend, Darlene, have been driving for hours when you finally reach the mile marker for Chicago. The relentless downpour makes it nearly impossible to see through the windshield.

The wipers work frantically, but the rain falls faster than they can clear it and Darlene’s brows furrow as she concentrates on the road.

The two of you are heading back to Wisconsin for spring break from Michigan State University. You had only been at the university for a few months, and everything still felt new and overwhelming.

The campus was massive, and you, timid and shy, had found it hard to fit in right away. Meeting Darlene had been a stroke of luck.

She is confident and outgoing with a knack for effortlessly makes friends—fun in a way that draws everyone in. You, on the other hand, are shy and strait-laced, always playing the good girl, the one who follows the rules unsure how to step out of your comfort zone.

While Darlene charges into life without hesitation, you tend to observe, fading into the background, content in your quieter world. But somehow, despite your differences, you’ve become inseparable.

When you first moved into the dorms, you had been so nervous about sharing a room with someone. The thought of spending months with a complete stranger had filled you with anxiety, but Darlene quickly eased your worries. 

From the moment she introduced herself, she had a way of making you feel comfortable. It helped that she was also from Wisconsin, and the two of you bonded quickly over the familiar feeling of home.

Darlene was everything you weren’t—bold, loud, and always up for a good time. She had quickly become the center of your small social circle, and while you were still adjusting to university life, you admired how easily she navigated it. 

Always quieter and more reserved, you were happy to let her take the lead in most things, and Darlene didn’t seem to mind your shyness one bit. If anything, Darlene had made it her mission to pull you out of your shell. 

She’d coax you into doing things you’d never dream of, flashing that infectious smile that made it impossible to say no.

Whether it was dragging you to social events or encouraging you to take risks, Darlene seemed to thrive on challenging the boundaries you set for yourself always making sure it was in a way that made you feel a little spark of confidence.

As she drives through the storm, you can’t help but feel a little more at ease with her behind the wheel. Even though she plays around a lot, she’s focused now, her hands steady as the car moves cautiously along the rain-soaked highway.

“You alright over there?” Darlene asks, glancing at you for a second before returning her eyes to the road.

“Yeah,” you reply quietly, your hands resting nervously in your lap. “Just… this weather is pretty bad.”

Darlene chuckles, her confidence unwavering. “Don’t worry, it’s just a little rain,” she says, and though the intensity of the downpour would make most people nervous, she stays calm and upbeat.

You can’t help but smile a little. Even though you’re shy and still adjusting to this new chapter of your life, Darlene has a way of making you feel like everything will be okay. For someone like you, who’s always been more cautious and hesitant, having her around feels like a safety net.

“I still can’t believe you’ve never had a boyfriend,” Darlene teases, glancing over at you with a mischievous grin, trying to keep the mood light despite the weather.

You blush, feeling self-conscious. “It’s not like I haven’t thought about it,” you mutter, looking down at your hands in your lap. “I just… I don’t know. I’ve never met the right guy.”

Darlene laughs lightly, shaking her head. “You’ve gotta stop waiting for some prince charming to show up on a white horse. Sometimes you just gotta go for it.”

You smile softly, fiddling with the edge of your dress. “Maybe. But I don’t want to rush into something just to say I’ve had a boyfriend.”

Darlene rolls her eyes playfully. “You’re too sweet for this world, I swear.”

Just as she says that, the car begins to sputter. Darlene frowns, glancing down at the dashboard. “That’s not good,” she says, concern flickering in her voice.

Before you can ask what’s happening, the engine stalls completely. The car coasts to a slow stop on the side of the road, the rain pounding relentlessly against the roof.

“Oh, great,” Darlene groans, slumping back in her seat. “What now?”

You both sit in silence for a moment, the sound of the rain and the dead silence of the car making it clear you’re stuck.

“What do we do?” you ask, glancing around at the empty, rain-soaked road.

Darlene sighs. “I don’t know, but we can’t sit here forever. Maybe there’s something up ahead.”

Squinting through the rain, you spot a faint neon sign flickering in the distance. “Hey, look,” you say, pointing. “There’s a bar up there. Maybe we can get some help?”

Darlene turns to see the sign and nods quickly. “It’s worth a shot. Let’s go.”

Without a jacket or umbrella, you and Darlene step out into the pouring rain. Within moments, you’re completely soaked, the rain drenching your clothes and hair. You hurry toward the bar, the neon sign glowing brighter as you approach.

When you finally reach the doors and step inside, the warmth of the bar wraps around you, and you let out a relieved sigh. The room is filled with low chatter and the sound of pool balls clacking together. 

Every male patron glances up, momentarily caught off guard by your appearance as you and Darlene enter, dripping wet from the rain.

One in particular, catches your eye—he’s leaning over the pool table, his muscular arms exposed in a sleeveless tee, a cue stick resting in his hand. His sandy brown hair is tousled lightly and his striking blue eyes immediately lock onto yours as his full lips curve into a knowing smile.

You’ve never seen a man like him before—so rugged, so effortlessly confident. His eyes seem to hold you in place, like he can see through every layer of you, and your cheeks burn, suddenly realizing your dress is clinging to your form.

A wave of nerves and excitement washes over you as and you quickly look away, feeling flustered as your hands fidget nervously pulling down the hem of your soaked dress.

You can still feel his eyes on you, the heat rushing to your face, and no matter how hard you try, you can’t stop yourself as you sneak another glance at him.

He sets his cue stick down, the game long forgotten as he starts walking your way. His friend follows his gaze, pausing mid-shot, but all you can focus on is him. Your mind is a blur of emotions as he approaches, and you struggle to compose yourself.

“You’re gonna catch a chill like that,” he says, his voice deep and warm, his eyes never leaving yours. “What happened to you?”

Your words stick in your throat, and you try to speak, but only a few soft breaths escape. You take in how tall he is, your eyes flicking over the strength of his muscles before managing to lock eyes with him again. Up close, he’s even more gorgeous, and your heart skips a beat.

Darlene notices the effect he has on you and grins, stepping in to lead the conversation. 

“Our car stalled,” she explains, glancing at you, clearly amused by how dumbstruck you are staring at him. “We don’t know why it happened, but it’s up the road. Im Darlene by the way and this shy one here is—“ 

She nudges you to  introduces yourself  and when you tell him your name it’s barely more than a whisper as you look up at him still caught in a daze.

“I’m Benny,” he says, his expression softening, his gaze lingering on you. “I’ll get you some help,” and with that he heads toward the bar, leaving you standing there with your pulse racing in his absence.

You and Darlene wait as Benny asks the bartender to call a local tow truck. The bartender nods, picking up the phone to make the call, but you can barely concentrate. 

Your thoughts are completely consumed by Benny—his voice, his easy confidence, the way he moves. Your gaze keeps drifting over his body, noticing how the biceps in his muscular arms flex in his sleeveless shirt, every movement smooth and effortless.

“So, that’s your type, huh?” Darlene teases seeing the way you stare at Benny with a knowing smirk on her lips. “No wonder the college boys aren’t doing it for you.”

You flush with embarrassment, glancing at Darlene, unsure of what to say. “I—what? No, I can’t just…,” you stammer, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks.

“Why not? He’s gorgeous. You should go for it,” she encourages, her grin widening as she nudges you playfully.

“I can’t,” you murmur, shaking your head. The idea feels too bold, too daring, but your heart races at the thought.

Before you can protest further, Benny returns, a reassuring smile on his face. “Looks like you’ll get a tow when the rain clears up,” he says, his eyes flicking to yours with a warmth that makes your pulse quicken.

“Where do you live?” Benny asks casually, his gaze still fixed on you, making you feel like you’re the only one in the room.

“W-Wisconsin, I’m on spring break…from…-M-Michigan State” you finally manage to get out, your voice stuttering as you try to calm your rising nerves.

Benny tuts softly, shaking his head with an amused grin. “Long way from home sugar,” he says smoothly, his tone low and infectious with a look in his eyes that makes your stomach flip. You nod eagerly, unable to shake the butterflies swirling inside you under his gaze.

He glances out the window, noticing the rain still coming down in sheets. "Looks like we’ll be here for a while," he smiles. "How about a game of pool to pass the time?" He asks as his eyes lock onto yours, and the way he says it makes your heart skip a beat.

You fidget nervously, your fingers brushing against the hem of your damp dress shy under his attention. "I’ve… I’ve never played before," you admit, feeling a flush in your cheeks.

Darlene, ever the bold one, nudges you with a grin. "She’d love to learn," she teases, giving you a knowing look, clearly amused by how flustered you are around Benny.

Benny grins his eyes softening as he looks at you. "C’mon, I’ll show you sugar," he coaxes gently, his voice like honey with warmth and reassurance. “I’ll teach you everything you need to know."

His charm works its magic, and despite your nerves, there’s something about Benny’s easygoing nature that makes you feel a little more comfortable. 

He gestures for his friend, a tall guy with a laid back smile, to come over. "This is Cal," Benny introduces. "Cal, this is Darlene."

Cal flashes an easy grin, nodding at Darlene,“Nice to meet you,” he says, and the way his eyes linger on her makes it clear that he’s more than happy to take over the role of entertaining her for the night.

Benny brings you over to the pool table and once there, he quickly pockets the scattered balls from the previous game until only a white and red one remain.

You can’t help but admire the way his muscles flex beneath his sleeveless tee as he lines them up, the white ball at the edge near you and the red ball in the center, each placement deliberate and smooth. When he’s done he looks up and catches you watching him, a slow, knowing smile spreading across his lips.

“Ready?” he asks, his voice low and inviting. You nod and he picks up a cue stick placing it gently in your hands, you stare down at its size and feel its weight in your palms unsure of what to do.

"Here," he says softly, his fingers brushing against yours and he positions you over the table.

The heat of his body is almost overwhelming against you and your pulse quickens while he guides your movements. 

"Just like this," he murmurs, leaning in, his breath warm against your ear. "You gotta line it up to take your shot, then you ease into it until it feels right."

The sound of his voice, so deep and close, sends a shiver down your spine. 

His chest presses lightly against your back as he adjusts your grip on the cue, and the firm feel of his body so close to yours has you nearly forgetting how to even hold the stick.

Your try to focus, but it’s impossible with Benny pressed against you, his touch is smooth and casual as he leans in even closer, his hand gently guiding yours as you prepare you take your first shot. 

"You’ve got to get it just right," he whispers softly near your ear, and the simple gesture has your breath catching in your throat.

You look up from the game and see Darlene having a blast with Cal, their laughter filling the bar as they sip drinks and select music from the jukebox carefree and completely at ease. 

"Do you drink?" Benny asks suddenly, his voice low, his blue eyes flicking over to you with a teasing glint.

You shake your head, barely managing to answer as your mind races with the feel of his hand still resting over yours on the pool cue. "No… never," you say, your voice breathless.

Benny’s smile grows approvingly. "Good girl," he says in a low, teasing tone, his gaze lingering on your flushed face for just a moment longer before returning to the game. 

His compliment sends a wave of warmth through you, and you can’t help but feel a mix of excitement and nervousness.

His hand moves to your waist and for a moment, just from his touch, your heart races even faster. 

"You’re doing good," he says softly, his eyes catching yours again, and the way he looks at you makes your stomach flip.

His grip tightens on your waist as he adjusts your stance and warmth of his palm through the thin fabric of your dress ignites something deep within you.

Despite trying to focus on the game, all you can think about is Benny and how close he is, every subtle movement of his body feeling impossibly intimate.

Benny flexes his arm, as he holds you to line up the shot, and a small, breathy sound of pleasure escapes your lips. 

His smile widens instantly, hearing it “You alright there, sweetheart?” he asks, his voice soft laced with a teasing tone.

You can feel your face burning, embarrassed by how easily you’ve been overcome by him, but Benny doesn’t seem to mind. 

The way his eyes linger on you with his fingers gently pressing into your waist, says he’s enjoying every second.

“Relax for me,” he whispers, his breath warm against your ear.

His entire body presses against yours as he helps guide the pool cue forward, and all you can focus on is the sensation of his strong arms wrapped around you, the firmness of his chest, and the way his breath is warm on your skin.

“We’re almost there,” he whispers again, teasing against your ear.

You’re completely overwhelmed by him, and you can tell he knows it. His smile stays soft, as if he’s testing just how easily he can make your heart race with a single touch.

He thrusts into you hard as you both push the stick forward. The flex of his body against yours makes pleasurable sigh escape your lips. 

You feel a warmth flood through you as the ball rolls smoothly across the table and lands perfectly in the pocket with a satisfying clack.

His smile grows even wider, his eyes gleaming with satisfaction. “Just like that,” he murmurs, his voice deep and smooth, the words sending a shiver through you.

As you slowly stand  back up together the heat between you intensifies, with a single glance, your eyes lock on his in a way that’s more than just a feeling—it’s deeper. Every breath feels heavier, the air charged with something unspoken, heavy with anticipation, waiting for what comes next.

Neither of you notice the bartender approaching until he speaks, “Sorry to say, ladies,” he says, looking between you and Darlene.

“Even though the rain’s let up, I can’t reach the tow truck driver again. Seems he’s already clocked out for the night, I’ll have to try again in the morning.”

You stand in shock, exchanging a worried glance with Darlene, the reality sinking in that you’re stranded without a way home.

“There’s a motel not far from here that’ll take you in for the night,” the bartender offers.

Darlene, always practical but a bit frustrated, sighs. “That’s nice and all, but we don’t even have a way to get there without the car.”

“I can take you,” Benny says, his voice steady and reassuring, his eyes locking on yours. “On my Harley.”

Your heart skips a beat at the mention of his motorcycle, excitement and nerves swirling inside as you look up at him, shy and hesitant.

“I’ve never been on a motorcycle before,” you admit quietly, your voice barely a whisper.

Benny’s grin widens, a knowing glint in his eyes. “There’s a first time for everything,” he says, his voice dropping to a soft murmur. “Didn’t have any trouble learning how to play pool,” he adds, his gaze slowly looking you over, lingering on you with a heated intensity.

The hint of seduction in his words makes your knees weaken slightly, your heart racing as you nod shyly, completely captivated by the effortless charm in his voice.

Cal, glances at Darlene. “I can take you, too, if you’re game,” he offers with an easygoing smile.

Darlene doesn’t miss a beat, grinning as she says, “Sounds like fun! Sure, why not?” Her carefree attitude puts you a little more at ease, though your heart still races with anticipation.

Benny’s gaze lingers on you, his smile softening. “You’ll be alright with me.”  He promises and the protective edge in his voice makes you quickly nod as you look up at him.

After closing out the tab, he brings you in close pulling his leather jacket on to you, the scent of leather with the faint hint of him surrounding your presence.

“Can’t have you catching a chill, sweetheart,” he says with a smile, his voice low and smooth as his eyes lock onto yours, causing a surge of warmth to rush through you at the unexpected gesture.

He leads you outside as the damp night air settles around you, still heavy from the rain. You follow him to his motorcycle, a black, metallic shiny thing with chrome glinting in the low light. It’s unlike anything you’ve seen before—sleek, powerful, like it could tear down the road without a second thought.

Benny moves with a natural confidence effortlessly swinging his leg over the bike, settling into place with ease. When he kick-starts the engine, it roars to life, the low, rumbling sound vibrating through the air, sending a thrill straight through you.

He turns, offering his hand with a calm smile.

“Come on, sugar,” he says, his voice smooth and reassuring. His hand is warm as you take it and your heart is pounding as you climb onto the bike behind him wrapping your arms tightly around his waist. The feel of his solid body beneath your touch makes you feel safe, despite the wild excitement racing through you.

His sleeveless tee does little to conceal the firm, hard muscle beneath your fingertips, heightening your awareness of his strength as you hold him tighter, feeling every movement of his powerful body under your grasp.

You glance over and watch as Darlene climbs onto the back of Cal’s bike with an eager smile, and soon both bikes rumble to life as you all take off into the night. 

The engine hums beneath you, the power of it reverberating through your body as the wind whips around your face. The lights from the town blur past, the wet streets reflecting everything like a mirror.

The sensation of being so close to Benny—feeling the wind whip around you, his warmth steady in front of you as the bike rumbles under your legs—leaves you breathless. You feel a wild, exhilarating sense of freedom, like you’re untethered from everything as you speed through the cool, rain-soaked air.

Benny slows the bike as you near the motel, the rumble of the engine softening as he pulls into the lot and the bike rolls smoothly to a stop. 

You tighten your arms around his waist reluctant to let go. The warmth of his body against yours, the security of his presence, makes you want to stay just like this for a little longer.

He shuts off the engine, and the sudden quiet is almost startling after the roar of the ride. His hand rests on yours as he turns his head, glancing back at you.

“You alright?” he asks softly, the corners of his mouth lifting into a small smile. His voice is calm, reassuring, but there’s something deeper in his gaze, as if he can feel the reluctance in your hold and you nod to him not quite ready to let go.

Darlene and Cal arrive, pulling up beside you, and you feel a wave of dismay as you realize the ride—and Bennys closeness—is coming to an end. With a soft sigh, you release him from your grasp.

Benny swings his leg off the bike and turns to help you down. His grip is strong, his hands firm as they steady you, and you cling to him, not wanting to let go, feeling so small and delicate in his protective hold. 

When he gently places you on the ground, his hands linger a moment longer than they should, and your fingers instinctively tighten around his firm biceps.

Your eyes are soft, pleading for more as he gazes down at you. A knowing smile tugs at his lips feeling the same pull that you do, an unspoken connection between you both, drawing you closer without a single word.

“I’ll go book two separate rooms for us,” Darlene suddenly announces, giving you a playful knowing look that makes your cheeks burn with embarrassment. 

It’s clear what she’s insinuating, and the fact that she said it right in front of Benny makes your face flush even hotter. 

You step back from him, your mind swirling with the implications. You’ve always been the good girl, careful and cautious, and now standing so close to him, you’re not sure how to navigate the feelings rushing through you.

As Darlene heads inside to handle the rooms, you stand there awkwardly, feeling a nervous flutter in your stomach.

Benny breaks the tension with an easy smile. “Don’t worry,” he says, his voice low and warm.

“Maybe tomorrow we can grab some breakfast before you get your car sorted?” he suggests, and you can hear the a hint of reluctance in his voice.

His deep blue eyes lock onto yours, filled with the all the unspoken desire that lingers between you both, the weight of what you both want growing stronger, though neither of you says a word.

He steps closer, his chest almost brushing yours as he reaches for his jacket. His fingers graze your skin, starting at your shoulder, the touch slow and deliberate. His fingertips linger just a moment too long as they trail down your arm, sending a wave of heat rushing through you. 

His touch ignites something deep inside, a warmth that spreads through your skin, making you ache for more. His movements are unhurried savoring every second of pulling the leather from your body. 

As he slides the jacket off, you instinctively wrap your arms around yourself and it’s not just the chill that makes you do it—it’s the sudden vulnerability you feel leaving Benny.

As you look up to him his eyes are darkened with an intensity you’ve never known and in that moment, you’re completely captivated by him, your mind racing with the thought of whether or not you should invite him to stay the night.

Before you can make up your mind, Darlene returns, holding two room keys in her hand.

“Goodnight, boys,” she says with a wink, clearly enjoying the situation far more than you.

“Thanks for the fun,” Cal says, giving Darlene a grin and Benny smoothly pulls on his jacket as Cal mounts his bike. 

“Meet you back at the bar,” Cal says with a casual nod, and Benny acknowledges him with a quick gesture before Cal rides off into the night.

Darlene hands you your key with a playful smile. “See you in the morning,” she whispers, the teasing tone unmistakable as she heads toward her room, leaving you standing there, undecided.

Benny’s eyes never leave you as he walks toward his motorcycle. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow before you go,” he says, his voice steady and calm, but you can’t shake the lingering feelings you have for him.

You hesitate, watching him as he mounts his bike, and just before he kick-starts it, something inside you shifts. Without thinking, you call out, “Benny, wait!”

He pauses, placing his foot back down as he looks at you, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “Yeah?” He asks his voice is warm and inviting.

Your heart pounds in your chest as you swallow your nerves, glancing down at the key in your hand. 

“I was just… thinking,” you begin, your voice soft and shy. “Maybe… you could stay for a little while? I mean, if you’re not too tired.”

Benny dismounts his bike, a confident smile playing on his lips as he approaches. His hand reaches out, gently cupping your chin, tilting your face up until your eyes meet his. 

“You sure about that, sugar?” he asks, his voice low and smooth, carrying a hint of challenge. 

“Because I’d be more happy to stay, just as long as I know I’m not rushing you into anything.” He confirms his thumb brushing lightly across your chin.

You nod, feeling the warmth of his touch against as your nerves begin to fade.

“I’m sure Benny,” you respond with a reassuring smile spreading across your lips.

“Alright then,” he says softly, leaning in just enough so you can feel the warmth of his breath on your lips, “Lead the way.”

You grin and head toward your room with Benny following close behind. The sensation of his presence making your heart pound in your chest as the quiet anticipation lingers in the air.

When you unlock the door and step inside, the atmosphere shifts as you look around the quant motel room feeling a quiet intimacy that fills the space.

Benny enters after you, the door closing softly behind him, and he quietly locks it.

As you turn to face him the warmth of Benny’s presence so close makes your heart pound in your chest. His eyes linger on you with an unspoken understanding, as if he already knows what you’re about to say. 

You swallow hard, feeling a little self-conscious, before finally admitting, 

“I… I’ve never done anything like this before.”

Benny’s smile widens, his blue eyes lighting up with a mixture of affection and amusement. 

“I know,” he says softly, his voice as smooth as velvet. 

There’s something about the way he says it, the gentle confidence in his words, that makes your heart beat faster causing your face to flush.

He reaches out, brushing the back of his hand lightly against your cheek, his touch sending a wave of warmth through you.

His gaze is intense, filled with affection and something deeper—something that has you both nervous and thrilled all at once. 

He leans in until his lips hover just near yours, the space between you charged with anticipation and then he kisses you. His lips press on yours soft, and unhurried savoring every second.

His hand gently cups your face with his lips warm against yours, each subtle touch kiss leaves you completely captivated, your breath catching as the arousal begins to stir deep inside. 

His tenderness makes you feel lightheaded and breathless, completely drawn into him, completely lost. And then, just as you begin panting into his mouth he pulls away, leaving you trembling, lightly breathless, with your lips still warm from his touch. 

He leans in, his breath warm against your ear as he speaks in that smooth, deep voice of his. 

“Why don’t you get out of those wet clothes for me sugar?” he suggests softly, his tone gentle but firm, as if he’s already certain you’ll listen to him.

You look up to him and hesitate for a brief moment, feeling a flush creep up your cheeks, but there’s something about the way he says it that makes you nod quietly. 

There’s no pressure, no urgency in his voice—just a gentle suggestion, and you find yourself readily obeying him. 

You look up at him through your lashes, feeling both shy and  cautious as you pull down the sleeves of your damp dress.

Benny leans back against the door, watching you with a soft smile, his eyes never leaving you for a second. 

His gaze isn’t overbearing, or insistent, instead it’s filled with a desire that makes you feel entirely wanted. 

“Don’t be shy,” he smiles seeing you pause not letting your dress fall lower than your chest.

His words make your heart flutter, and with a deep breath, you pull your dress down to your waist, hooking your thumbs into your panties and stepping out of them.  

As your clothing drops to the floor you kneel down, slipping off your socks and shoes as your bare feet sink into the plush carpet of the room.

You can feel the heat of his gaze as you stand up in front of him. Now completely naked your hands tremble slightly, the cool air mixing with the excitement rushing through your body and you Instinctively look down, too shy to meet his eyes.

“That’s better,” Benny says with approval, stepping closer. You can feel the warmth of his presence as his hand finds yours, pulling you gently to him. His other hand rests lightly on your waist, the simple touch making your heart race all over again.

“Look at me,” he whispers, his fingers softly tilting your chin up, guiding your gaze to meet his and intensity in his blue eyes draws you deeper into the unspoken desire that lingers for him.

“Not like you to fall for someone like me, is it?” he smiles, his hand sliding up your back, pulling you into his embrace.

“Never…” you whisper, your voice barely audible as you look into the depths of his eyes, falling harder for him with each passing second.

“First time for everything,” he whispers, his lips brushing against yours before capturing them in a kiss that melts all your nervousness away in an instant.

 His lips are warm, soft as his mouth moves against yours, and this time a soft whimper escapes you as he deepens the kiss.

The simple sound ignites something in Benny, and his lips move against yours with more intensity,  drawing you in until you’re completely caught in his rhythm, your heart pounding wildly in your chest.

Your hands reach up, clutching his shoulders, desperate for something to anchor you as the intensity of his kiss steals your breath away.

His hands begin to explore you, trailing down your back before settling on your curves, his firm grip igniting a heat that spreads through  your core.

You can feel your arousal building, warm and slick between your thighs. Your mind races, trying to keep up with the emotions flooding through you, but all you can focus on is him—his touch, his kiss, the way he makes everything else fade away. 

He pulls back just enough for you to catch a small breath, his lips barely an inch from yours, yet you’re already aching for more. “You want me?” he asks, his voice low, laced with an edge that makes your heart race even faster. 

You nod, unable to speak, your voice caught in your throat as the rush of emotions and desire collide within you. 

He grins, seeing the way you tremble, and without breaking eye contact, he shrugs off his jacket pulling up his tee and revealing the hard, sculpted muscles of his chest and abs. 

His body is powerful, each line carved and defined, and the sight of him leaves you slack-jawed,

You’ve been wanting to see him like this all night, and now that he stands before you, your eyes widen in delight, taking in every inch of him.

“Don’t be shy,” Benny grins, stepping closer, guiding your hand to his chest. “Feel me,” he urges softly, his voice calm and commanding.

His hand covers yours, encouraging you to explore him and your fingers glide down the hard planes of his abs his muscles flexing slightly under your touch.

The sensation of his strength beneath your fingertips sends a wave of heat rushing through you, making your breath hitch.

He steps back, his eyes never leaving yours, the intensity of his gaze locking you in place as he leans down to unlace his boots and setting them aside.

When he stands back up, his gaze is even more intense, every movement deliberate as his fingers undo the button of his jeans making your heart races with anticipation. 

He pauses lowering the zipper, a mischievous gleam in his eyes as he looks at you, savoring the moment and drawing it out. 

“You sure you’re ready for this?” he asks his voice teasing and seductive like velvet as it wraps around you.

“Yes, Benny,” you breathe, your eyes flicking up to his, your chest rising and falling rapidly, charged with desire. 

 A slow smirk forms on his lips as he watches you, and with a  practiced ease, he slides his jeans down exposing his long, hard cock as your eyes go wide.

It’s big — even bigger than you expected, the sheer size overwhelming you.

You chest tightens with nervousness, as you quickly look away feeling the heat rush to your face.

Benny reaches out, gently guiding your chin back to him. “Eyes on me, sugar,” he says, his voice low and commanding as he holds your gaze steady. “This is all for you,” he assures and his words are so certain, they leave you speechless.

He pulls a condom from his jeans and tears it open, drawing your eyes back down to his cock.

With practiced ease, he positions the condom at the tip, his fingers expertly rolling it down over his girth all the way to the base. 

The way his cock stands, so heavy and full, sends a throb straight to your core and you  try not to stare, but it’s impossible not to.

Your eyes take in every detail, the thickness of it, the way his skin stretches over the veins, how firmly it extends in his grip,

A flicker of nervousness runs through you, the thought of what’s coming next makes your body tense with both excitement and hesitation. 

Benny notices the shift in your expression and smiles softly, leaning in close his hands moving to cradle your neck. “We’ll take it as slow” he promises, his voice gentle as he caresses you his thumbs tracing down the delicate lines of your neck.

You take a deep breath, feeling your heart race from his words as you slowly nod.

He moves gently as he guides you to lay down on the bed, the linen sheets soft against your skin. He follows your movements, his body just above as he climbs on top, the bed dipping  under his weight.

His fingers trace the curve of your cheek, down your neck, and then settle on your waist. He takes his time, letting you feel the warmth of his body as he slowly settles down on top of you.

“You alright?” he asks his voice soft and reassuring as his thumb strokes your hip and his eyes meet yours, filled with a quiet confidence that sets you at ease. 

“Yes, Benny,” you nod, finding your voice barely above a whisper and the way you breathe out his name makes his lips quirk into a small smile.

“Good” he says as  his hand slides down to your thigh, giving a gentle squeeze.

He leans in close, kissing the corner of your mouth, then your jaw, his lips lingering there, savoring every touch.

He slowly nudges your legs apart, his movements patient and deliberate as his fingers push in between them causing a jolt of to pleasure shoot through your core. 

The slickness of your arousal coats his fingers as he slips the them over your folds and he spreads your wetness with soft strokes making moan in pleasure.

His lips brush against your jaw in reverence as he feels how wet you for him, a satisfied hum vibrating through his chest.

His thumb grazes your clit in just the right way, with a teasing  pressure making your breath hitch, and he explores further, feeling the tension in your body melt under his touch.

He slips one finger inside feeling your walls adjust and then slowly adds another. He begins stretching you with a slow, gentle rhythm the sensation overwhelming—tight and warm, coaxing deep moans  from your lips with each stroke. 

The pressure of his fingers inside you builds with every thrust, steady and sure making your whole body arch from the bed, quickening with every gasp that escape from your lips.

His eyes never leave yours, watching your every reaction, every breath, every flutter of your eyelids, memorizing the way you respond to him.

“That’s it sweet heart,” he whispers, his voice like a low purr, as his thumb presses into your clit with just enough pressure to make you moan and tremble beneath him. “Gonna work you open nice and slow for me” he whispers, his breath warm as it mingles with your own.

You can hear your wetness slicking between your thighs, as his fingers work a rhythm that feels achingly perfect.

“You ready for me?” he asks as his fingers moving in just the right way, making you arch against him even more as he pushes into you deeper.

You gasp from the depth of his fingers as you hesitate, your body unsure, already overwhelmed by the sensations he’s giving, not certain if you can take any more. 

“I-I don’t know if I can,” you manage to say, your voice breathless, trembling under his touch.

Benny presses a slow, tender kiss to your neck, his thumb circling your clit again with practiced ease. “Yes you can sugar,” he whispers, his voice low tempting. “and just so you know with out a doubt, I’m gonna make sure you’re begging for it” he says with certainty.

You feel his fingers begin to work firmer inside of you, each thrust deliberate, coaxing a deeper response from your body. His words a promise, as you begin to moan in pleasure completely unraveling beneath him.

Benny grins, his lips finding your neck as he softly kisses the delicate skin there. “You starting to feel it aren’t you.“ he hums, his voice affectionate as he moves lower, his lips wrapping around your nipple, sending a new wave of pleasure through your body. 

His tongue flicks gently over your sensitive skin, and your body arches instinctively, surrendering to his touch. He sucks gently making you arch into him, as his fingers never stop coaxing more of your wetness.

Your body reacts in ways you can’t control, your thighs softly tremble as your chest rises and falls with uneven breaths. Your legs part instinctively under his touch, your thighs slick with the evidence of your desire.

A deep moan escapes your lips as he sucks harder, on your nipple his tongue flicking against you in a way that leaves your body craving more. 

Your fingers clutch the sheets, your body writhing under the slow build of pleasure he’s giving. Your hips moving on their own, lifting towards him as your body seeks him out, needing more.

No longer unsure, your desperate for more of him feeling and emptiness you know only he can fill. You moan for him your chest heaving as the pleasure builds tighter inside you. 

“Benny!” You whine feeling all the sensation build inside you at once, the warmth starting deep in your core and radiating outward, leaving you flushed and trembling.

Benny stops, his lips hovering over your nipple as he gazes up at you,. “You’re ready for me now, aren’t you?” he asks his tone heavy with desire 

“Yes I’m ready ” you quickly pant  your body trembling with need.

He wraps his had along the base of his cock and you gasp as you feel his large tip push against you, the size making you softly moan as he uses your wetness to coat it.

“Gonna give you a taste“ he says slipping  the tip inside pulling back just enough to make your body pulse with a desperate need for more.

“There you go,” he says, his voice a soothing as he grips your thigh, steadying you. “Feels good doesn’t it?,” he breathes.

You can feel his cock twitch in your impossibly tight walls and you nod feeling the pleasure radiating through you racing with the beat of your heart. You want more of him the anticipation almost too much to bear.

“Take me all the way” you say craving it and he responds moving  his hands to your hips as he slowly, gently pushes his hips forward, inch by inch, guiding his large cock into you until you suddenly cry out, feeling an intense ache.

“Benny!” you whine, trembling as your nails dig into his arms, losing your mind as you feel him stretching you apart. You shudder and moan uncontrollably, pushing against him. “You’re… you’re … my first!” you finally cry out unable to hide your secret anymore feeling like he might break you.  

Benny slows his penetration a big smile forming on his lips. “I know, sugar,” he says, his voice like velvet, his words soothing the intensity of the pain building inside you.

“Y-you Knew?” You say in shock and his hand reaches your face stroking your hair back.

“From the moment I laid eyes on you.” He says softly.  “The way you looked at me like I could solve every problem in the world.” He grins his eyes soft.

“Why’d you think I went along with what you wanted?” He asks studying your reaction. 

Your eyes study his face stunned realizing what you’ve gotten yourself into.

 “Benny….… I do want you, I want you so much …but …. I didn’t think it was would hurt so much” you confess and his face lights up as he holds his laugh seeing how serious you are. 

“It won’t hurt for long” he says looking at you affectionately. “I promise” he says in a way that eases your worry. 

“Just let me take you all the way just like you wanted” he says, his voice sure and you nod swallowing hard.

Your breath hitches, a soft moan escaping your lips as he sinks deeper into you, every inch of him filling you slowly, leaving your body completely at his mercy. You begin to pant and he kisses you trying to take your pain.

You’re impossibly  tight, squeezing him hard as he pushes into you further, and he brings his thumb to gently stroke your clit, coaxing you to relax. “You’re doing so good”  he whispers, his voice velvety and soothing “just relax and let me in.”

You lift your hips instinctively as he slowly fills you up, and you whine through the stretch as your fingers dig into his back.

“That’s it” he whispers. His cock twitches, and you see him bite down on the inside of his lip, holding himself back. It aches in you, but the pain dulls as Benny lets you get used to the fullness inside you.

You softly whimper as he presses a kiss to your forehead. “It’s all gonna feel better now,” he whispers, slowly dragging his cock out of you.

You tilt your hips, opening yourself to accept more of him as he pushes in again, filling you to the hilt. 

You moan wrapping your arms around his shoulders burying your face in his neck as his cock pulls back once more. “Just like that,” he praises, his voice deep with satisfaction as he thrusts into you.

He takes you again, and again each time he groans in your ear, his voice filled with satisfaction. 

You pull your face from his neck to meet his gaze. His blue eyes lock onto yours as he pulls out and pushes back in, the connection between you intensifying. You hold onto his neck, your fingers digging into his shoulders, feeling the tension in his body as he builds a steady rhythm inside you.

All you can do is moan from the overwhelming sensation as it begins to feel so good it brings tears to your eyes, your pleasure spilling over uncontrollably. 

Hearing your moans, he grins, “Gonna make you come now ,” he says, moving faster, his pace quickening as his fingers grip your waist, guiding your body as his hips roll against yours, each thrust hitting deeper, more intoxicating.

The pain that once existed is gone, overtaken by the ecstasy of his thrusts. You feel completely satisfied, filled with his thick cock driving into you with purpose. He maintains a quick rhythm, his body pressing into yours as your mind drifts into euphoria. You had no idea you could feel this way—so much pleasure flooding every inch of you at once.

You’re moaning freely, the intensity overwhelming as your body begins trembling, your mind lost to the sensations. “There it is ,” he pants, snapping his hips against yours, his voice rough with need as you take every inch of him.

Suddenly, you feel it—the wave building deep inside you, tightening your core, making your entire body quake. Your orgasm crashes over you like a tidal wave, your walls fluttering around him as you cry out, completely lost in the moment. 

He groans loudly as your body grips him tight, and with one final thrust, he joins you, his release hitting hard as he spills into the condom. His hips jerk against you, his groans mixing with yours as both of you ride out the aftershocks together.

He collapses gently on top of you, his chest rising and falling rapidly against yours, his breath warm on your skin. You lay there, stunned, your body still trembling as you try to catch your breath. The room growing quiet except for the sound of your soft breaths together.

After a few moments, you find your voice, soft and unsure. “Are you ever going to come to Wisconsin or Michigan State?” you ask, your voice small and vulnerable, reeling from what just happened.

He peeks up at you, his blue eyes sparkling with that familiar teasing look. “I’m thinking about never letting you leave Chicago,” he grins and his lips press against yours in a soft kiss, a newfound  promise lingering between you both.

He rolls onto his back, pulling you close against him, wrapping his arm securely around you, holding you in place. Your hand rests gently on his chest, feeling the steady rise and fall of his breathing. You bury your face against his neck, inhaling deeply, the familiar scent of him soothing you as your eyes flutter closed, and sleep finds you quickly, wrapped in the comfort of Bennys embrace.

The next morning, you awaken, your eyes blinking slowly as you take in the quiet room. The bed beside you is a mess of tangled sheets, and as you sit up, a sudden pang of panic grips your chest. Benny is gone. The absence of his presence makes the room feel colder, emptier, and your heart sinks as the realization settles in. 

 A soft, saddened sound escapes your lips, barely more than a whisper as you sit there, staring at the rumpled sheets, replaying the night before in your mind. It had felt so real, so intimate—how could he just leave?

“I’m so stupid!,” you mutter under your breath, cursing yourself for letting your guard down, for hoping he’d be there the next day. 

Quickly, you throw the covers back and swing your legs over the edge of the bed, a knot of disappointment twisting in your stomach. 

You stand up and head straight to the shower, trying to shake off the feeling, but the emptiness you feel clings to you like a shadow.

Once in the shower your body aches, a dull soreness reminding you of everything that happened last night, and as the hot water cascades over your skin, warm tears mix with the water, falling down the drain. No matter how hard you try to stop, you can’t shake the trembling in your body, a mix of emotions overwhelming you.

After what feels like forever, you step out of the shower, wiping the fog from the mirror to reveal your reflection. “Stupid stupid good girl ” you whisper to yourself, the words biting as you turn away from the image in front of you. 

You dry off as you head back to the bedroom, slipping into your now-dry clothes, that you realize were placed on the heater as you slept and the sadness lingers.

Suddenly, there’s a knock at the door. Your heart leaps in your chest, pounding wildly as you rush to answer it, ready to spill everything to Darlene. The disappointment, the confusion—all of it.

When you swing the door open, you freeze. There, standing in front of you, is Benny, a soft smile on his lips, holding two bags with breakfast. 

The sight of him makes your mouth fall open in shock. For a moment, you can’t believe it—he didn’t leave.

Before you can even process what’s happening, you let out a relieved squeal and jump into his arms, wrapping yourself around him. 

Benny chuckles softly, catching you easily as his arms come up to hold you close.

“Aww, sugar,” he murmurs softly, holding you close as you gasp for breath,shaking with emotion trying to hold back tears. 

He shushes you gently, his arms strong and comforting as he carry’s you in and sets you down on the bed, his smile warm and reassuring.

”l-I..I thought you left” you choke out.

 “I’m right here, baby. I wouldn’t just leave you,” he says softly, kissing the top of your head.

You hug him again, so relieved to have him there. He pulls back just enough to meet your gaze, his eyes soft and sincere. “I wasn’t going anywhere,” he says gently, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead. “I just went to grab us some breakfast.”

Benny opens one of the bags, pulling out a breakfast sandwich and handing it to you. Without hesitation, you begin to eat it realizing just how hungry you are. The roller coaster of emotions leaving you famished. 

“You were hungry,” Benny smiles, his thumb brushing your cheek as you finish your meal and you  rest back on the bed, feeling sated as a sigh escapes your lips. 

After a while, Benny glances over at you, a more serious expression softening his features. 

“I want you to be my girl,” he says, and you pause, your heart skipping a beat as the words sink in. 

“Benny, how?” you ask, your voice soft, a mix of surprise and hope. “You live here, and I’m going back to school at Michigan State after spring break in Wisconsin ” 

 Benny lays down next to you taking your hand in his. 

“I’ll come to Wisconsin,” he says firmly, his eyes locking with yours, filled with sincerity. “Every chance I get, I’ll be there and When you’re back in school, I’ll visit you whenever I can. It won’t be easy, but I’m not letting this go.” He says and his words hit you hard, the weight of them wrapping around your heart. 

He’s serious—there’s no teasing or hesitation in his voice now, just a solid promise. 

He gently takes your chin in his hand, lifting your face to meet his eyes. “I’ll even go with you to Wisconsin now if you’ll have me,” he says softly, sincerity and warmth flooding his voice. 

Your eyes light up with excitement, as an overwhelming joy fills you. Without a second thought, you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him into a kiss, full of emotion.

“Yes, Benny!” you exclaim breathlessly against his lips, your heart swelling with happiness. He grins, pulling you close as he returns the kiss, his arms tightening around you. 

The thought of taking him to your hometown, spending two weeks together, fills you with so much excitement that you’re practically shaking. 

You rest against him, feeling the steady rise and fall of his chest, your heart full and content. Benny’s your boyfriend now, and everything feels right—exactly how it’s  supposed to be.

🏍️ The End 🏍️

🔗 Master List

🏍️ Benny Cross Tag List 🏍️

@ashleybutler @finley-08 @ifuckindontknow @landlockedmermaid77 @jvanilly @oceanablue @12joeywheelerfangirl @autumnleaves1991-blog @presley1992 @rose-deathman @sillylittlethrowaway @lillypink @faephoria @nostalgichoya

🏷️ Always Tags Me List 💌

@purejasmine @faegoddessog @burnthheparaphilia @lindszeppelin @abswifey @ausssbutlershortstories @magicovento @obsessedvibee @austiebuttbutt @jessica987 @oh-my-front-door @slowsweetlove @hardcoredisneynerd @thegabbyh @thefallofthedamned @buckysteveloki-me @bucking-mustangs-with-wings @shegatsby @darlingisntit @unicoreads @lovereadingfanfic @elvismylove04 @denised916 @shockercoco @minispice-1 @meetmeatyourworst @avidreader73 @jkdaddy01 @xxmandaveexx @mamawiggers1980 @imjustheretoreadsmuthaha @majestyjade @gravesdiggergirl

[dcxdpdabbles]

i love summon dare au so much, I'd love to see the first date! i have this image in my head of the batfam spying on them, watching cass get increasingly flustered over the course of the date and wondering who this person even is, to so effortlessly destroy cass' composure, of all people

Alfred lets Cass finish her grounding earlier so she can buy a nice dress for her date with Danny. She spends the whole day running around different stores, speaking to personal shoppers, and asking Selina for advice.

She then raced home with multiple bags asking her siblings to rate the outfits. Since none of them were allowed near technology, it turned the boardgame night into a fashion show.

Cass insisted she wanted to be in a dress but couldn't be too formal or casual. She had bought every single one, hoping to give off this sense of perfectly approachable but still the daughter of one of the wealthiest men in the county.

Dick was very excited about the summer dress, claiming the linac top and flowing white shirt with roses complimenting her skin and eyes. While Steph agreed with the color, she prefered the red halter dress, stating that it's eye catching and flowing elgeance better suited Cass.

Both Tim and Babs voted for the slipdress, claiming that it never hurt to show off her legs after all the roof-jumping and dancing she did. They said making it black just threw her attractiveness up a few notches and would really knock Danny's socks off.

Duke thought the same thing but thought Danny would lose their mind if Cass showed up wearing a black mini-skirt dress. He had no other reason other than, "That's it. That's Cass' killer look that will leave the mortal enchanted".

Jason claimed everyone looked nice, but it depended on the mood she was trying to set for her date. Specifically, he mentioned that since Danny and her already knew each other, she should focus on making sure the mood was more towards the romantic/seductive route rather than the usually first date to get to know each other.

Eventually, Cass settled on the slipdress because she wanted Danny to swoon, but she wasn't confident enough to wear the mini-skirt. They made her so nervous on a regular day that she felt she needed to wrok her way there.

Damian was swinging between being horrified Cass was agreeing to date the Ghost King and barricading himself in the BatCave Anti-paranormal chamber. Bruce had built it as a panic room after the last time they had to fight along side the Justice Leauge Dark and his kids kept getting possessed by a angry ghost.

At the time, it seemed like a great idea, but now Bruce was struggling to get his son out of it. He may have made it a little too well. Alfred allowed it only because the chamber had no technology, and Damian finished all his chores before sealing himself in. He was told to unseal the door at his bedtime- Cass isn't sure if Damian choose to hide away today since he knew Danny would be about or if he was jsut hiding for fear's sake.

Steph and Babs helped Cass with her makeup, making it a little heavier than her usual light makeup—only because she felt she needed to make an impact—and did her hair into a nice tussle wave pinned statically to frame her face. It took hours of preperationg but by the time the doorbell rang, Cass was more then satisfied by her appearence.

She just hoped Danny felt the same. Cass ran her hands down her outfit, smoothing out non existing wrinkles, before heading towards her bedroom door. Steph gave her one last hug with a squeal, just as she marched towards the stairway.

Jason's suggestion of making a big and dramatic entrance from the grand stairway may have been a bit over the top, but it was worth it to see Danny's lovely blue eyes widen when they locked onto her form.

They were dressed in a dark red suit coat and black pants. They had done their hair slicked back, similar to when they flew around in their ghost form, and frankly, they were so gorgeous Cass missed a step on the stairs.

She gasped, frailing her arms to try to gain some balance, but only succeeded in flinging herself into the railing with a yep. She felt more than saw her siblings startle, a few flinching in her direction, ready to catch her if needed.

Impish laughter filled the air as Danny chuckled, warmth, affection and amusment clinging to thier words. "Still as clumspy as ever."

The rest of the Wayne threw them bug eye looks as Cass laughs nervously. She never been anyhting but graceful in her entire life, yet with Danny it felt like the complete control of her limbs she always pride herself in seemed to vanished.

Cass in point, as she reached the bottom of the stairs, at the same time as Danny, her foot went sideways, and she stumbled into her date. They catch her quickly, turning the fall into a tender hold with a wide smile. "I can't belive you just fell for me."

Cass' embarrassment lessened as Danny winked at her, reminding her that this person had seen her at the worst part of her life. They were the ones that had done everything they could to establish communication when all she knew was the violence of her father. They had been the ones to teach her the stars' myths and wonders before she knew thier names.

They had been the ones that wrapped her in clothes from a regular store with what little they were able to pan-hand and been the same one who paid for her haircut, holding her hand as she watched a stranger approach her with a pair of sissors.

Her father didn't care if she knew how to speak, much less if she had a well-kept appearance. He almost seemed to like how feral she looked with her long, unkempt hair and league uniform.

Strange that it took an unhuman being to make her feel like an actual human for the first time in her life. Ghost King or not, Danny was the best thing that ever happened to her.

And they agreed to a date with Cass. She's the luckiest girl in the world. Any world.

"Ready?" Danny asks, holding out his arm. She carefully wraps her arm with their's, eyes landing on the gender fluid Pin she gifted them. It was the first thing she bought when Bruce adopted her.

Today, it reads them/they, still as shinny and well kept as the day she bought it.

"Yes," Cass whispers, leading Danny towards the door, hyper-aware of her siblings who are straining to look at them. She makes a face at the slack jaw Tim.

He had been in the middle of signing to Dick with the Bat-coded sign language acting like she could see him say "Love is making Cass act stupid."

Her sharp gaze cuts to Dick who doesn't seem to care as he signs back "Our sisiter is doomed"

She'll get them later. Just as they pass though the door way Danny snaps their fingers, opening a portal. Cass smirks when she hears Steph's and Duke's outraged cries.

They had been planning on following in thier bikes and Danny had likely noticed. Too bad for them she got a date with a walking portal maker. No one was spying on her night.

Or any future date if all things go well. She's crossing her fingers hoping it does.

[qwimblenorrisstan]

Forgive Me | John Price x Reader

Summary: After a rough day, Price gets home and accidentally raises his voice at you, leading to plenty of apologies, and making up for his mistake.

Word Count: ~ 1.2k

Warnings: price yelling at reader :( angst to fluff to a lil bit of smut, fingering, cuddling, cute snuggly kisses, nothing too bad

Minors, do not interact!

A/N: this was such a cute request from anon, I love price so much…like he’s such a cutiepie y’all don’t even get it, hope you enjoy<3

Requests are open!

You and your husband didn’t have many arguments.

Sure, the occasional little squabble where you’d only last maybe an hour before breaking and both apologizing to each other, acknowledging your wrongs.

The emotional maturity that both of you shared was something John Price appreciated most about your relationship.

But tonight was different.

He couldn’t even remember what had started the argument.

He’d already been wound up, having driven hours from the base to home after a long day of dealing with annoying recruits while his patience ran thin with their antics and horseplay. It had been a bit entertaining the first few times, but by the 40th time, it was plain annoying.

But they didn’t seem to understand that.

So he’d spent his day yelling at them till his voice was hoarse, some refusing to stop and just continuing what they’d been doing if they were ballsy enough.

And he supposed that instead of reverting into the normal John Price, the Price that was softer and gentler with you, he hadn’t seen the difference between you and those recruits in the moment.

One sarcastic remark, and you were both in the living room, Price pacing around leaving a trail on the floor while ranting in a loud, brusque voice all too similar to a yell. He got so caught up in himself, in his angry tirade of frustration with his day and the current situation, that he hadn’t noticed how he was asking until you muttered a meek little,

“John, you’re scaring me.”

It had floored him completely. Nearly all thoughts shut down at that one little sentence as he stopped pacing, standing stiller than a statue, eyes now observing your red-rimmed eyes brimmed with tears, or the quiet sniffles you were making, trying to hide them as well. He could tell.

Guilt punched him in the gut harder than any enemy had ever done.

He’d never grown up in a bad family, per se. It was just traditional. His father ranted while his mother kept her mouth shut, listening patiently and serving his every need. He could still remember how angry his father had been at his older sister when she’d snuck out with a boy. How his father had screamed at her in the kitchen while she’d sobbed, his mother doing nothing but sitting silently at the table, like a ghost.

He’d been terrified at the time. Promised himself and his future spouse that he would never treat a woman, his woman, that way.

And here he was. Doing the same thing.

“Love,”

He cooed apologetically, eyes crinkling in the corners from worry, brows furrowing as he held both his hands out towards you, watching as your bottom lip wobbled a bit when you took a little step back.

You were afraid.

Of him.

He’d be an idiot to think you wouldn’t have a bit of fear after what he’d done, screaming at you, a small woman, being the large man he was. Of course, you’d be afraid.

“I’m sorry, bird, please.”

He tried again, tone taking on a hint more desperation as he offered you at least a hand. Tears fell freely in streams down your face now, clumping in your lashes and catching in the corners of your lips.

Only when the first sob tore through your body, did you finally relent and fold into his warm, strong arms. His familiar musk, a mix of whiskey, barbecue, and a campfire, enveloped your senses as you buried your head in his shoulder. His hand stroked up and down your back soothingly, large palm gently massaging the tension out unknowingly, while his other hand ran through your hair.

“I know, I was being a right ass, wasn’ I?”

He murmured, the hand in your hair moving to your knees as he gently bent them while picking you up bridal style, your weight barely even noticeable to him as his feet padded against the floor, the door to your bedroom creaking open and promptly shutting behind him before he sat on the edge of the bed with you. The sobs shaking your already-trembling body slowly subsided, leaving you feeling emptier than before.

Now sniffling, tears hardly dried, you replied.

“Yeah, you were.”

His calloused thumb wiped whatever wetness remained on your face away. Your lips were still in a pout, one he tried to erase by gently pressing his chapped lips against yours, pulling away, his eyes gazing deep into yours.

“Really, I’m sorry. Didn’t intend to get carried away.”

He murmured, and you sniffled again before replying.

“It’s fine, I guess.”

He let out a dissatisfied hum, pulling the blankets out from underneath both of your bodies to gently cover you. He was already practically a human furnace, not needing much to warm him.

“It’s not fine, shouldn’t have lost my temper.”

His hands curled around your waist once again, holding you just a bit closer, as if wanting to keep you close. To keep you safe.

You raised a brow, relaxing into the cuddles nicely as you melted into his body, hardly noticing the way his thumbs were rubbing little circles into your hips.

“Yeah? What’re you gonna do to make it up to me, then?”

You teased, voice a bit drowsy already. He let out a small hum of thought, one warm hand slipping down your thigh, slowly making its way in between and rubbing those little circles onto your inner thigh, now.

“I’ve got an idea.”

He mumbled, his hand temporarily returning to him as he licked the pad of his thumb, leaving a bit of spit on it before returning to your inner thigh, the same hand pushing both your shorts and underwear to the side as his thumb slowly grazed through your folds, that bit of spit acting as a lubricant.

A low purr of delight from you, one that only grew more vocal as his thumb began lazy circles around your clit, not teasing or holding back, just slowly working you up until your legs were trembling, hips jerking slightly and little gasps escaping your lips.

“There you go, almost there,”

He cooed as you let a little whimper slip from between your lips, that tight coil in your stomach building and building before your orgasm washed over you like a cool breeze in the summer heat.

“Good girl…”

He murmured softly as his hand slipped out of your pants, adjusting them back into place before going back to holding your body against his, helping you back to reality from whatever clouds your sleepy mind was floating in.

“Mm…John?”

You mumbled against his shoulder, and one hand went back to stroking your hair.

“Yes, pretty?”

He questioned, ignoring the breathy little incoherent noises you kept letting out amidst words.

“I forgive you, really this time.”

An airy chuckle from your drowsy husband as he held you a little bit closer, tucking the blanket in over you as he smiled against your skin, giving your forehead a little peck before he closed his eyes, mumbling one last thing, mainly to himself, before sleep claimed him.

“Don’t know what I’d do without you, love.”

[demi-god77]

BYLER GATES: A GUIDE

(Explaining all the different theories, for anyone who is also lost with how many there are)

THE BIG 4

Flickergate: This theory involves a lot of time shenanigans and is connected to the Will having powers in s5 one (possibly manipulation of time or electricity). Theory claims Will and Mike will kiss in the UD, specifically outside Mike's garage, paralleling 1x01. Will is going to tell the truth at the same time his s1 self is ("it was a seven"), causing the garage light to flicker on Nov. 6th 1983.

Birthdaygate: This theory suggests that the Duffers didn't actually forget Will's birthday is March 22nd (the day of the rink-o-mania incident). It claims that Vecna is actually manipulating the characters' memories (possibly even Will's), making them forget his birthday in the process, maybe in an attempt to make him feel excluded/lonely and making him vulnerable. (Similar to the beginning of Harry Potter and the chamber of secrets, which happened to be on the inspo board for S4)

But also the Creel murders themselves happened on March 22nd.

Churchgate: More UD kiss related theories! This one claims Will is going to get Vecna'd or possessed in the Upside Down church (and that he's going to hurt/choke Mike in the process). With a crazy amount of religious symbolism, Mike would be the one breaking him out of his trance, through a kiss or a confession.

(More thorough explanation here.)

Lettergate: This gate's truthers believe that Mike did actually write to Will in the time period between s3 and s4, but never sent the letters. Said letters (signed "Love, Mike") are going to make an appearance in s5, revealing his true feelings. (Great post that has to do with this gate here)

Also related to:

OTHER GATES

Pocketgate: Very connected to Lettergate™️, this theory has to do with Mike's infamous triangle shaped pocket in S4. It suggests that the letter signed Love, Mike is hidden in said pocket throughout s4, since it very closely resembles an envelope. Triangles have also been used in ST as a queer symbol (with Robin) and Mike's pocket consistently points to Will like an arrow.

Phonegate: Kinda similar to the previous two, this gate claims Mike did actually call the Byers in Lenora. For some reason, the calls didn't go through, either because of Joyce's telemarketer job OR because of Vecna manipulating things again (cough, birthdaygate, cough).

This is backed up by one of Dustin's lines, saying that the Byers' phone line is always busy and Mike won't stop complaining about it. We know he must have been calling WILL, since the whole reason he was communicating with El using letters is that they couldn't talk on the phone.

Loverslakegate: Related to Lovers' lake (obviously). The lake is shaped like a heart, tying into its name, but it was split in two after the gates opened, now resembling a broken one (and Mike is ofc referred to as "the heart" so it could be a reference to him).

According to this theory, Mike and Will are going to kiss/become lovers near said lake/Reefer Rick's house.

Heartgate: To put it simply: Heart reflections EVERYWHERE. This one is better explained through pictures:

Also: Different heartgate but really interesting

Colorgate: I don't think I have to explain this one tbh but anyway

Blue meets yellow in the west.

Mike and Will have been HEAVILY associated with blue and yellow respectively since the beginning of the show (even wearing eachother's colours in both of their arguments). There's an insane amount of evidence that backs this one up.

It's speculated that the Russian code in s3 was foreshadowing for s4 ("The silver cat feeds when Blue meets Yellow in the west") Silver cat: Vecna who started killing when Mike (Blue) met Will (Yellow) in the west (California, literally west of Indiana)

Curtaingate: "They don't spent their lives trying to get a look at what's behind the curtain [...] They like the curtain. It provides them comfort, stability, definition" -Murray 2x05

Mike and El are pretty consistently framed in front of CLOSED (and more often than not, yellow) curtains, or ones that have closed blinds. According to this theory, closed curtains represent not being honest with one's true feeling. So, the truth about Mike's feelings is beyond the curtain and in s5 he will open it (and come out)

Motelgate: This one has to do with the dreaded two day time skip at the end of S4. Theory claims the Cali crew stayed at a motel during that time skip and the scenes were cut for time, but we'll flash back to them in s5. It's based on a photo a production assistant posted from the New Mexico filming, as well as some bts pics of the Cali Crew playing board games in a motel.

Shoegate: In S4, we see a pair of Will's shoes in his bedroom. In s5, Mike seems to be wearing that exact pair. This, in addition to the fact that they wear the same shoe size (a 10 according to their rollerskates from 4x02), lead people to theorize they will share clothes/shoes in s5. More importantly though, this theory suggests Mike is figuratively being put into Will's shoes (maybe pining?). Also, both of them wear the same shoes they wore in s2. Interestingly enough though, even though the design is the same, the colors are reversed (so their roles will be reversed too).

Possessiongate: This one runs DEEP so I'm going to link a bunch of posts

To put it VERY simply: this theory claims Vecna somehow attached himself to Mike (maybe when the vine grabbed him by the leg in the S2 tunnels- right before he started acting weird in s3 and s4) and he has been influenced/possessed for some time now.

He's not the dungeon master anymore, he's not in control. Both in s3 and s4 someone ELSE is the DM when they play D&D (Will and Eddie respectively)

More here and here

Victimgate: Very closely related to the previous one, this one suggests that MIKE was originally supposed to be Vecna's 4th victim instead of Patrick. Since Max escaped the first time, SHE ended up being the last victim but the original plan was for it to be Patrick. However, Patrick's curse doesn't fit the theme of all of the previous ones. We only see one of his visions, he gets cursed for ONE DAY, as opposed to the other 3 that are cursed for almost a week and we also know very little about him, even though we gradually knew more about the previous victims. Chrissy (no relation to main characters) -> Fred (friends w/ Nancy) -> Max (main character who we've known since s2)

More thorough explanation here

Twelvegate: This one is not really Byler related but i wanted to include it anyway

Theory claims Will was one of the lab kids (specifically 012) and him and El are actual twins. There are mentions of Will and El looking similar since s1, and a lot of twin imagery.

This theory obviously ties in with the Will having powers one and some people believe he wasn't 012, but him and El have a deeper connection/may be actually related. It could theoretically explain Henry's connection to Will, as well as things like El seemingly recognizing him in s1.(Alternatively called rainbowshipgate, because of the rainbow ship drawing Joyce mentions in s2 and the rainbow room)

Eightfifteengate: Again, not explicitly Byler but it's quite crazy.

TL;DR: The time 8:15 seems to have great significance in the show and it's mentioned all the time, if not by the characters themselves, (Eg. "It's 8:15, you're late"- El s2) then by small details in the background. There's even a whole track named after it.

Will left the Wheelers' house at 8:15 and it's the EXACT timestamp of his disappearance in 1x01. It's also the time in which most of the UD related weirdness happens and so it's very likely the UD is stuck on 8:15. (Also you know, 15-8=7)

Radiationgate: Related to the previous one! Clocks in Chernobyl are stuck on 8:15 and Hiroshima has been described figuratively as being frozen in time. Henry has burns identical to Chernobyl victims and almost all of his + his victims' symptoms can be explained through radiation exposure. As this post explains, for radiation levels between 8.3-11 Gy (SI unit for absorbed radiation), symptoms start with headaches and disorientation, move on to unconsciousness and bleeding (the exact symptoms of his victims) and finally, death happens at around 7 days (which is about how long Vecna's curse lasts AND how long Will was in the UD for)

Whiterabbitgate: The song "White Rabbit" is the first song in the show and it plays when we first get a sense of El's powers. Theory suggests it will also be the last song in the show (coming full circle) with either Will using his powers, or Willel using their powers together.

In general though, ST has a lot of similarities/parallels to Alice in Wonderland. The white rabbit constantly being late (Mike is late to something at the start of every season), great significance to clocks/ticking/time, a lot of hallucinations/visions, the overall similarities between the Upside Down and Wonderland. Henry's sister was literally named Alice Creel and there is SO much rabbit imagery throughout the show. There are also direct references to AIW with set pieces and paintings.

Soundtrackgate: This one has to do with the Stranger Things OST and the overall insane musical symbolism throughout the show. A lot of different theories talk about the show's soundtrack, but this one talks about 3 tracks in particular: Being Different, The First Lie, The First I love You

To put it briefly: "The First I love You" plays in both Robin's coming out scene and El's kiss with Mike at the end of s3 (Already a weird parallel). The three tracks not only share the same melody, but they also sync up perfectly. "Being Different" (s4 van scene) and "The First Lie" (Nancy and Jonathan's kiss in s2) especially, match up together to create an entirely new track, completing eachother. The scenes featuring those three tracks also share very similar themes at their core. (This post goes into a lot of detail!)

Playlistgate: Character playlists! At a certain point, every character's official playlist on Spotify was deleted, except for three: Mike's, Will's and Billy's. Songs were seemingly being added/deleted for no reason to the Mike and Will ones and people were struggling to make sense of it all.

Also, Mike's character playlist in particular is VERY interesting (so many byler coded songs, as well as "Smalltown Boy" a gay anthem, about a young gay boy forced to leave his home town to escape from their disapproval and homophobia.) There are three playlists on Finn's spotify that are very incriminating. "Love songs" (That has "BOYS DON'T CRY" on it, a song that Will literally has a poster of in his room), "drive" and the most recent one "STurn". These playlists feature songs like "Let her go", "Angst in my pants", "Me and Michael", "Gay thoughts" just to name a few. Basically a lot of the songs on all four playlists seem very relevant to some complicated feelings about Mike's relationship with El/Will but also with himself and his sexuality.

Scriptgate: Oh boy. Here we go.

On August 5th 2022, the byler fandom got #bylerscript trending worldwide on Twitter while waiting for the 8flix account (run by Nick Runyeard) to release some supposed s4 scripts (that people PAID for, mind you). These scripts dropped on August 8th, featuring lines like: "I hate who I am" from Will in the van scene, "His mouth dry, like a California summer" from the bedroom apology scene and also, Will seemingly recognizing Brenner at NINA, despite never meeting him in canon.

These turned out to be fake and the community was in shambles. Nick started calling people psychos, the Stranger Writers tweeted that everyone got scammed, Nick privated his account and the authenticity of some released s2-s3 scripts was questioned. This post explains the entire situation in detail.

Breathgate: This one is also script related and specifically about a Mike/Max parallel.

In the official van scene script, when Mike sees Will's painting "his breath catches." Then, when Lucas asks Max to the Friday movie date, "(her) breath catches" as well. People caught on that parallel very fast and since the latter is obviously a romantic moment, it boosted their confidence for both Byler and Lumax endgame.

Piggybackgate: This one refers to two different situations/theories.

One, the seemingly deliberate framing of Mike and Will inside the little bubble in El's piggyback drawing (and it referening to Byler). The framing is especially suspicious, because the bubble drawing was drawn two separate times (it's different from one shot to the other). In the second shot, they're framed directly inside of it.

Two, Mike in his monologue essentially piggybacking off of Will's van confession. His monologue was going off of El's feelings, but since they weren't actually El's, the speech was based on Will's feelings. It also ties in with the parallel/foreshadowing between the monologue and Suzie's house, with Will being paralleled to the "director" kid, directing a "choking" Tabitha and their dad (more thorough explanation here).

THE SILLIES

(aka the joke-theories/memes)

Miniongate: Mike and Will are secretly minions. (Because you know, minions are primarily blue and yellow)

This information will be revealed to us in s5 and they will have a magical girl-esque transformation where we see their true minion form. (Original post here)

Localvillagegate: Related to the leaked Mike and El rooftop scene.

Basically, a mlvn used AI to lip read the scene and try to figure out what Mike is saying (and then posted the video on Twitter).

According to them, Mike was telling El they were going to leave the local village (AKA Hawkins) together and travel to a beautiful faraway land with "like, three waterfalls or something" (and also that she has to "improve her motivation", whatever that means).

People thought it was hilarious and started making a ton of memes based on it.

Parrotgate: This is directly connected to localvillagegate™️ and it was created by @cloudycleric in one of his streams.

Basically, the parrots are gay and represent Will and Mike, who in s5 will kiss under the three waterfalls depicted on the image.

Backgroundguygate: People making headcanons and creating backstories for random extras. The star of this gate is Barrett, an extra from the Lenora high school, who wears a barrette, bright red pants and a shirt that says "Hell".

According to this gate, he's actually gay and in love with Will. He has a goth best friend named Claire who is a lesbian and in love with El.

Chancegate: The theme of shipping Will with random extras continues on strong

Chance is one of Jason's friends and part of the basketball team. People thought he was attractive and somewhere along the line started making headcanons for him and shipping him with Will (Bychance). Basically, they're gonna date and Mike will be jealous.

Mikhailgate: More shipping Will with randoms! (I'm beginning to see a pattern here)

Originally created by @paladin-n-cleric

Enzo in S4 mentions his son, Mikhail Antonov. Mikhail is the Russian name for Micheal.

People started making jokes that Mikhail would arrive to Hawkins from Russia in s5 and shipped him with Will (Willhail), since he's like Mike but Russian and cooler. They made fanart, edits and posted pictures of Finn as Boris in "The Goldfinch" claiming it's Mikhail.

@will80sbyers then begun to ship Mikhail with El and thus the ship "Jail" was born.

Baldmikegate: Did you know Mike is actually bald and is bullied for it? Well, now you do.

In 2022, a cult was born and the byler tag was filled with edited pictures of Bald!Mike. Terrifying honestly.

Some people made posts about how the rest of the party feels about Mike's secret baldness and some even wrote FANFICS.

Gridgate/whiteboardgate/pixelgate: The Stranger Writers posted a picture of a pixelated/blurred whiteboard that had the entirety of s5 mapped out. People were desperately trying to decode it and figure out what was written on it.

On the space for episode 7, there was a "big black hole" that people went crazy trying to make sense of, only for it to be revealed as a pen holder.

Babygirlgate: The babygirlification of Mike Wheeler. That's it. That's the gate.

I think pretty much every line Will has ever said to Mike has been posted with the word "babygirl" replacing his name (it's hilarious and I love it)

Some examples here and here

Mattduffersbasementgate: Finn and Joe made up a third Duffer brother named Pete, who has no hair for some reason and is the actual writer of Stranger Things, while Matt and Ross are just the faces of it. Pete lives in a shed/Matt's basement and that's where he writes all of the scripts.

Finn and Noah are both also being held in Matt's basement however, and they're not allowed to leave so that they don't spoil byler endgame.

I definitely missed some gates, but omg this took SO LONG

(this post is for you @felix-fathoms @bibylers)

[aspiringsophrosyne]

It’s interesting how both the Smitten and the Skeptic kill you.

If you kill the Princess, they both visit the same fate upon you, overriding your input. However, their respective motivations are very different.

The Smitten does it out of distraught, furious bereavement; he kills us as much out of rage and revenge as he does grief. The Skeptic, meanwhile, kills us when the Narrator traps us (the way he does in the good ending). However, the Skeptic is not like the Hero; he does not let us decide when he recognizes the circumstances we have found ourselves in.

Both represent so overwhelming a force that they can make choices without your input, but from completely opposite angles. The Smitten out of passion, anger, and in-the-moment emotion. The Skeptic out of cold, practical logic that's focused on the long game. They are superficially different, but they end up pulling the same stunt; down at their cores, they're not as different as they might seem.

As for the pairs, one of the most generous ways to read the Smitten/Damsel relationship is that it represents the honeymoon phase. Smitten and Damsel have just met, think the world of each other, will do anything for each other, want to make each other happy, and dismiss each other's flaws when the Hero or the Narrator voices them. They are driven not by what they know but by their initial impressions and emotions.

This perspective leaves them both oblivious or apathetic to the Narrator’s machinations; they can ignore or overpower him. The shackle slips right off the Damsel's wrist. The locked door swings open. Even murdering the Damsel is not enough to dampen her love for you; all that does is turn it murderous again via the Burned Grey.

On the other hand, information drives the Skeptic and the Prisoner. They do not know each other. You took the blade when you went to meet her, and she killed you. These two can’t trust each other. Not completely. Because neither trusts without verifying first. And because, besides all that, there’s another factor in play: the Narrator.

Both the Skeptic and the Prisoner are aware of the Narrator. Both know that no matter what they want or do, something outside of them has the power to interfere. And their weapon of choice against him is information. The Prisoner plays dumb unless you “-give away the game,” and even then, she doesn’t reveal her plan. Not even to you. Instead, she hopes you take the hint and figure out what she wants you to do. Likewise, when you try to give her the knife to enact the plan, the Narrator tries to stop you as he did before, and the Skeptic thwarts him by pointing out how well that went the last time.

In contrast to the Damsel/Smitten pair, these two have one of the least emotionally charged dynamics of any Shifty/Quiet duo but have mutual respect and an understated sense of partnership that few other pairs start out with. Though the Drowned Grey’s motivation is not the explicit love of her counterpart, she’s still dressed like a widow to parallel the Burned Grey’s wedding dress.

And speaking of the Greys, they bring home the contrasting yet parallel dynamics between these Princesses and their Voices: one is fire, one is water. One has a passionate affect, the other a flat affect. One leaves behind only bones, the other a fleshy corpse. One is a bride, the other is a widow. Killing the Princess you defied the Narrator to save results in a Grey, a ghost dressed for marriage (future or past), that leads you to the basement of a dilapidated cabin that serves as your gruesome tomb.

The Damsel/Prisoner/Greys have many superficial differences that highlight how similar they are once you look beyond them. If played straight, the Damsel/Prisoner is a route where you continue to defy the narrator. The Damsel wants to leave? Pull off her chain and escort her out. The Prisoner wants to escape her chains? Give her the knife and take her head with you. Both are routes where you've established the best report with the Princess you could; you've literally died to protect her. Following this, you can take advantage of that goodwill and use it against the Narrator.

And in the case of the Greys, while the details are different (rain/desert, widow/bride, bones/corpse, drowning/burning) in both cases you're lead to your doom by a betrayed ghost of a Princess in a neglected cabin.

Various Voices and Princesses serve as foils and mirrors to each other (Rivalry and Submission, Terror and Longing, etc.), but none more closely than the Damsel/Prisoner Smitten/Skeptic. It makes them especially interesting and I'm excited to see what their future third chapters have in store.

[thevoidtrainstation]

An Alert

info: this takes place during the VDC, and it's first person.

Also, please tell me if I didn't tag this properly.

Warnings: angst, with a pinch of comfort

word count: 700

Watching them perform from backstage was simultaneously enjoyable yet lonely. Looking between my friends and the crowd singing a lullaby (double check that) so well known it transcends countries, cultures, and languages, no matter how reminiscent or similar it is to songs I know, I just don’t know it. How can a song transcend planets, realities, and dimensions; it can’t. I’m the only one who doesn’t know it, not including the dire beast known as Grim, the only one who’s as clueless about this world as I am, even though he’s from it. Truly, moments such as these make me realize how much of an alien I am.  I’m the sole magicless student in a magic school. I was just about to start college because I graduated early from high school, and now here I am a high school freshman again, in a completely different reality, dimension. This whole thing has been a double-edged sword: being transported to a magical reality is any fantasy reader’s dream come true, but all the unknowns about what’s happening at home and the moments of realization about the massive cultural divides between me and everyone else is unpleasant, to say the least. However, seeing the joy on their faces right now, especially after everything that happened today, makes me treasure these moments and my new friends. My new friends are doing so much to make me feel a part of this place, showing me the “most important” movies, TV shows, and music to catch up on pop culture. Though I feel hollow at times due to the differences between this world and my own, they always manage to fill in that hole a bit. As I focus my mind back on their performance, my breath catches and my body freezes. The unmistakable sound of an emergency alert rings from MY PHONE. My phone, the one that I had on me when I arrived here, the very one that nothing worked on, but what was already downloaded onto it.  With shaking hands I pull out my phone, with much trepidation. Why was it working now? Was it able to connect back to my world, or is it connecting to something here? What’s the alert? If I wasn’t already sitting, I would’ve fallen onto the floor.  “Emergency Alert: incoming atomic bomb, please go to nearest shelter….” In this world of magic, nuclear power and warfare don’t exist: I checked. Trembling, and with deep breaths, I manage to unlock my phone, my eyes darting between the red dots on my messenger, the voicemail, and the news app, all of which hadn’t had that little red dot since I came here.  I go to my family group chat and text “Im safe and healthy calling mom.” As the phone rings, I  bolt to one of the backrooms in the stadium, locking the door behind me. The next couple of minutes blur together as I Facetime my mom, who’s with the rest of my family, explaining what happened to me and asking what's happening there. Raspy broken voices and tears aren’t acknowledged as we catch up and exchange “I love you’s”. The call disconnects, I call again, and again no answer. I call my other family, but the calls aren’t going through. I call my friends, but the calls aren’t going through still. I try every messenger app on my phone.  Nothing. There’s nothing. No connection, no way to reach them, no way to reach anyone.   It was how it was when I got here. The only thing that remains on my phone is what was already downloaded onto it.  I let out a soul-shivering wail. I drop my phone and curl up onto the couch clenching my knees to my chest and burying in my head as I sob.  The nuclear apocalypse happened, and I missed it… The doorknob jiggles.  The door temples as it’s banged on, and rammed against. The nuclear apocalypse happened, There’s no home to go back to... The door flies off its hinges.  I continue to mourn the death of my planet, my home, my life, my family as I feel arms wrap around me.

[inhuman-obey-me]

Celestials and Saltiness: Lessons 48/49

HAHAHAHA of course while we had irl stuff going on and couldn't go through the lessons for a couple weeks, was when the Big Stuff drops. But we have caught up, and hoo boy, there is plenty to discuss. So let's discuss! Strap in, it's a long one.

(MAJOR spoilers for NB lesson 48/49 below the cut)

The Situation

Let's start with what's actually happening. Hey, remember when the devs decided Simeon is a human now as punishment over the whole stealing the Ring of Light situation? SURPRISE, they've decided he's becoming a demon after all! You know, like all of us fucking expected of what happens to angels when they are punished and fall? Yeah, that.

As it turns out, despite the whole "I'm human now" gradual reveal across two whole fucking seasons, they've now decided this has been going on since basically all the way back to his human world cafe days in OG Season 3 to say he was starting to become a demon even back then, or at least so Solomon theorizes. So...basically the entire length of his "human" punishment thus far. Cool, cool, we're sure that's totally not a retcon due to the devs realizing they wrote themselves into a corner. Definitely had a plan all along, that's why they bought themselves 2 seasons of Nightbringer time travel shenanigans of time before getting into this. Totally.

Anyway, setting aside the salt (for now), we are told that this demonic aura has been starting to appear whenever he feels deep emotions, somewhat similar to how power manifests for the brothers. Solomon tells us that it's because Simeon has a unique ability to access his latent power - which is an interesting little tidbit to note, as it implies that they took away his angel powers but he has his own inherent powers which he was just never able to access until now. We have long held the headcanon that God artificially limits angels' power, so it's very interesting to us to see that it may be suggesting something similar here.

On a related minor worldbuilding note, this does confirm the detail that celestial power has a distinctly opposite feeling than demonic power, meaning that their magic and powers are not neutral. And we also get an in-game reminder that demons do not like angels, so in this situation, it would be expected that an average demon might think an angel deserves to fall and want to torture/kill them if given the chance.

By the way, all of this is going on during the Science Fair Chemistry competition specifically, which is...an interesting parallel to say the least. Chemistry is the science concerned with matter -- including its composition, structure, and how it changes down to the molecular level. We've always been of the opinion that Simeon just turning into a human was odd as it's been established that demons and angels have different physiology in comparison to humans (like how Demonus can get both demons and angels drunk, but doesn't affect humans). Simeon turning into a demon with the absence of his angel powers makes sense.

Celestial Realm Reactions

Now, the consequences.

First, let's look at the political implications. Diavolo, Barbatos, and Lucifer know that this does not bode well for relations between the Realms. After all, what will the Celestial Realm think, having one of their own turning into a demon after they sent them to the Devildom for the exchange program? Especially considering everything that happened with Lucifer and the Great Celestial War, it would be very easy to point a finger at Diavolo and the Devildom for being a corrupting influence.

Lucifer also mentions that Simeon is currently not allowed through the gates into the Celestial Realm without first obtaining forgiveness. However, that status as a human is an ongoing punishment (think of a kid being grounded by parents), not a one-and-done thing, opening up an implication that this transformation is not necessarily intended to be permanent. That's also totally not a retcon, we're sure! If he turns into a demon, that challenges the supposed punishment and calls into question which realm actually has a claim to him -- in a situation where both answers would have precarious implications for Diavolo's peace plan.

So, that's the Celestial Realm as a whole, on a political level. But let's take a look at the individual angels we know too, shall we?

First, there's the big question mark of Michael. We know that he's the one who called Simeon back to the Celestial Realm about the Ring of Light, and we also know that he is in fact the one Simeon stole it from. However, Lucifer assumes Michael is planning to bring Simeon back to the Celestial Realm when he gets the chance, so it seems like he was not actually the one to decide on this punishment and may actually be working to end it. And interestingly, this would not be the first time Michael has acted on his own to seemingly try to cancel out a punishment from God -- as a reminder, he also went off to the Devildom disguised himself as Raphael to try to invite the brothers back at the end of NB Season 1!

Considering Lucifer's insistence that Father would never forgive him, plus his Cocytus punishment at the end of NB Season 2, it does seem like Michael probably didn't have permission from God to go inviting them back. If he's also looking to reverse Simeon's punishment, that would show a surprising rebelliousness from the top angel of the Celestial Realm! So it will be interesting to see how Michael's role in this whole situation unfolds.

Then, we have our sweet baby angel Luke -- who ends up crying himself to the point of passing out when he finds out. He's grown a lot since he first arrived to the Devildom, no longer thinking that all demons are inherently evil monsters -- but he's still very proud to be an angel. He loves Simeon dearly, as the one who has acted as a parental figure of sorts for him this entire time. Luke is adamant about protecting and helping Simeon in any way he can, even if he's not sure what can really be done.

However, this sets up quite the conflict for the poor boy. He was too young to know Lucifer and the other brothers at the time of the Great Celestial War, so this is his first time reckoning with an angel he's known personally becoming a demon. And on top of that, this began with the Celestial Realm's decision to punish Simeon for taking the Ring of Light -- saving MC and Lucifer, and stabilizing MC's "ring" to essentially save all of the Three Realms.

In other words, Simeon is becoming a demon now for saving everyone. So it begs the question -- will Luke, who has unquestioningly believed in the Celestial Realm until now, start seeing his home in a different light after all of this?

Then there's the next-youngest angel, and the newest in the cast -- Raphael. We didn't see too much of him, but we get enough that it's clear he's not taking this news well either. It's assumed he was suddenly called to the Celestial Realm because of this development, though we don't know exactly what they say to him about it, and when he returns, he's in a daze. We see Mephistopheles being the one to actually first run into him and try to talk to him, but he is mainly met with a very out-of-it angel, and he then takes him out to have his family's special Demonus because it's clear Raphael is distressed. In another scene, we see Thirteen run into a now spaced-out Mephisto and he asks her a "hypothetical" -- what happens when an angel reaches their limit? Also, Solmare, are y'all setting up RaphaelxMephisto as a ship?

And then, of course, we have the angel of the hour -- or rather, ex-angel. And Simeon's reaction to this change is...not so bad, actually. It's one of understandable confusion but also a kind of near acceptance. We've always been convinced that the reason Simeon was demoted after the Celestial War was because he stayed neutral and refused to fight. And how Simeon discusses the past in Lesson 49 suggests similarly -- he has always had regrets over not joining Lucifer, because he couldn't. Now that it seems he is possibly turning into a demon, he can't help but wonder how things could have been different if he had.

He mentions how he feels less unsure about this than turning into a human, as he always did want to be closer to the brothers, and didn't like that he was different from them. In that sense, turning into a demon doesn't seem so bad to him -- though he also doesn't have control over these powers yet, so he needs to be careful. And, if you choose the "are you a bad boy at heart" option, he mentions that maybe his loyalty to the Celestial Realm is lacking -- pretty understandable, after all he's seen from them and all they've put him through...!

And Then There's the Shady Sorcerer...

Now, that's all complicated enough for that delicate, delicate balance between the Celestial Realm and the Devildom, but let's not forget there's one more realm in the "Three" Realms, with one very conspicuously powerful representative here in our cast.

And so, where is Solomon in all of this? Well, we know he placed a protection charm on Simeon to protect him when it was thought that he was a "defenseless" human, so that even if a lesser demon messed with him, they'd be in for a world of pain. He was also, it seems, the first one to notice Simeon starting to transform into a demon, but kept that information to himself until confronted about it. Lucifer opens up to us that he can't help but wonder if there's some kind of connection between the sorcerer's activities back in the human realm and Simeon's predicament, feeling some doubts even if it seems everyone relies on Solomon and trusts him. And after all, Lucifer would be a demon with a good reason to distrust Solomon, since the sorcerer has long been after a pact with him, even on top of all the many powerful pacts he already holds with others.

Lucifer brings up some of his concerns to Solomon by asking him why he's been going back and forth to the human world so much -- to which Solomon answers that's making some preparations for unlikely scenarios. He insists it's not important, but we wonder...

Back in OG Season 2, Solomon knew about MC's "ring" which was putting the Three Realms at risk, and he secretly swiped the Night Dagger from the Reaper's Cave as a potential solution. His top priority, as we've seen, has always been protecting humanity from the battling influences of the other two realms. We know that's also part of his mysterious deal with Nightbringer.

So what possible plans and preparations could Solomon be making, and for what unlikely scenarios? Another war? Another imbalance of power? We'll see what awaits with this whole new situation...

[demigod-shenanigans]

Anyway have some Leo and Esperanza thoughts set in a universe where she’s alive:

-Definitely knew Leo was bi before he told her. This kid is not able to be subtle about his crushes ever 

-She was the first person Leo ever came out to. Just hugged him for ages and kissed his head and told him he’s perfect exactly how he is and she’s always going to love him no matter what 

-They Iris message almost daily when Leo first gets to camp. He’s so excited when he makes his first friend and gets to introduce her to Piper. Leo and Piper met in this universe because they were the oldest out of the kids claimed right after the Titan war and arrived at camp at the same time and they just clicked immediately 

-Let’s say in this universe Gaia doesn’t wake and Leo and Piper just sort of find an injured Jason on a mission by coincidence (make that “coincidence” because someone (Juno) decided it was time to mend the rift between camps and having CHB nurse one of the Camp Jupiter praetors then return him to his own camp unharmed was a good starting point)

-Jason stays at CHB for a while for diplomatic reasons and they properly become friends

-Esperanza definitely side-eyes Jason when he visits them for the first time because at first glance he gives off similar vibes to some of the football player kids who’ve bullied Leo before and she is Concerned but Jason withers so fast under her gaze that she ends up concerned for a completely different reason 

-Jason scrambles to try and tell her all the reasons why he thinks Leo is the most incredible person ever actually and yeah it turns out she really likes this kid (though she’s starting to get increasingly worried about what his home life looks like if some light glaring has him this rattled)

-He loves her cooking (but not as much as Leo’s. He’d never tell her that though)

-She doesn’t push Jason to talk about his home life or family but makes it very clear that he’s free to stay over whenever he wants. Fundamental mom instinct to wrap that boy in a blanket and make him hot cocoa.

-Esperanza is Jason’s first encounter with an adult that’s genuinely kind and caring towards him and he’s really really shocked about it. Like worrying amounts. He needs her to like him or he Will Die actually, especially because that’s Leo’s mom

-Esperanza definitely picks up on the vibes between Jason and Leo before Jason and Leo do. This isn’t even her being especially perceptive they’re just incredibly obvious and also idiots (I say this with affection)

-One summer Leo Iris messages his mom randomly in the middle of the day beaming but will not tell her what’s up. For like fifteen minutes he’s just smiling and fidgeting away talking about a whole bunch of nothing at all until she grins and asks “did you finally ask Jason out” and Leo just looks at her gobsmacked because he has no idea how she could have possibly figured that one out

-Jason tries to learn Spanish in parts to impress her and he is So Bad At It at first. She thinks it’s really sweet and is very encouraging (unlike Leo who just makes fun of his boyfriend for his shit pronunciation)

[pianokantzart]

Can you explain what you mean by Hellen being similar to Luigi?

Less her being "similar" and more being "uncannily opposite in almost every single way." The only real similarities between Luigi and Hellen is owning a ghost pet, being a willing second-fiddle to someone they admire, and (I say this tentatively since it's yet to be confirmed how rich Luigi is in canon) rolling in cash.

But Hellen, besides being obsessed with King Boo, is also obsessed with appearances and control.

She has an assortment of extremely strong ghosts living in her hotel, and though she gives them fitting accommodations the tradeoff is that she is (quite literally) at the top of the heap. Her existence is one of splendor and extravagance, keeping a tight grip and close eye on everything that goes on in her estate. But despite how cool-headed and dignified she appears, it's a veneer. The decorations of her penthouse are a shrine to what she desires, but can not have. Her temper turns hair-trigger the moment things don't go her way, and she is constantly applying a thick layer of makeup to hide her true form from the world.

Luigi is her opposite. He is goofy, anxious, and clumsy; short, big-nosed and plainly dressed. He has difficulty saying no, and makes an effort to be as unobtrusive as possible to the point that he can be a little bit of a doormat at times. His appearances make him easy to underestimate, and he is the last person in the world to get angry if things don't go his way. He gave up on having control of his life a long time ago.

But Luigi's a man without a facade or false pretenses. He is who he is, and for as crazy as his life is he loves his home and the people who surround him. Whether or not he's canonically rich, in the end he doesn't really want power or riches at all. All he wants is to sleep in his simple little house knowing his family and friends are safe.

The two couldn't possibly be more different, but they share just enough similarities that their differences create a very interesting contrast.

[youremyheaven]

Random Mini Astrology Observations: Vedic Edition

Warning: This is just a string of random thoughts lol, don't compare it to my best work on here. It's a bunch of stuff I've had in my drafts and I'm trying to clear it all out

Before I get into this, I just want to say, that whether my observations are positive or negative, it won't apply to every individual who has these placements. 8 billion people exist on this planet, and not everyone will exhibit the same good or bad qualities. I hate having to put this PSA because some people don't get it but yeah "not all Lunars/Venusians/Nodals/Solars/Jup/Sat are going to be the same".

Jupiter influenced men are known for being introverted cutie pies who kinda have that mature-dilf-y vibe.

Obviously, another category of Jupiter men are often loud, extroverted and very outgoing but I've noticed these placements heavilyyyy in celebrities "known" for being private and introverted. They are also often known for being generous and kind hearted.

Prabhas, Vishaka Stellium (Moon, Mercury and Venus)

He is known as "darling star" and brings food that he has prepared at home for everyone on set (he is an actor). He is known for being very shy and introverted but also super sweet, generous and kind.

Sidharth Malhotra, Vishaka Moon

Sid is known for being extremely lowkey which is RARE for a Bollywood actor. He's also quite gentlemanly and charitable

Ratan Tata, Vishaka Moon

He is an Indian billionaire entrepreneur who lives in a small 2bhk apartment and has donated most of his personal wealth to charity. He is known for having led his company in a very humane way (there are lots of controversies and im aware of them but compared to the work culture and quality of life that most other indian companies offer its employees, TATA is in a different league).

Keanu Reeves, Punarvasu Moon (and stellium)

i dont have to explain but Keanu is the king of kindness and generosity

Mads Mikkelsen, Vishaka Moon

unlike his characters, Mads is actually a sweet guy and very private

Adam Driver- Vishaka Sun

he's so private that nobody even knows he's married with a kid

Tom Hanks, Punarvasu Sun

known for being a gentleman and quite modest. the OG nice guy and obviously very private

Ethan Hawke, Vishaka Sun

another lowkey, private guy who is known for being nice

2. Rashmika Mandanna and Surbhi Jyoti, Swati Moon

I find their eye area to be kinda similar?? I know they don't look alike but there are some overarching similarities between them and I think its bc they have the same moon nak.

3. I came across a comment that Akshay Kumar made about Asin and her CEO husband Rahul Sharma.

“He is madly in love with his wife, his child. It’s like he treats her like a goddess.

and guess what?? Rahul is a Purvashadha Sun 🥺😌😌

4. Ashwini natives often have post-apocalyptic dreams

Since its the first nak and is ruled by Ketu and is in complete darkness, symbolically representing the stage before creation (which happens in Bharani), the subconscious mind is susceptible to having really strange, fcked up, war-like dreams/visions. Also bc Aries rashi is ruled by Mars, God of War.

5. every Venusian man I know kinda has a voice kink

6. Many Punarvasus crave for a simple, rustic, relaxed type of life. In fact many famous Punarvasus live on a farm

Kaley Cuoco- Punarvasu Moon

Bretman Rock - Punarvasu Sun

MS Dhoni- Punarvasu Sun

Dennis Quaid, Punarvasu Moon on his ranch

7. Jupiter and Venus are 'Brahmins' or priestly, the Sun and Mars are 'Kshatriyas' or warriors, the Moon is 'Vaishya', or a trader, Mercury is a 'Vaisya', Saturn 'Shudra', or a lower caste and Rahu and Ketu are outcastes.

This is not an observation but just an astrological fact that I thought I'd mention

8. Magha girls are often the spoilt daughters or come from very bougie families where they're the princesses. They might emotionally suffer but materially and otherwise, they're very comfortable

Shruti Hassan- Magha Moon

she has spoken about how rough her childhood was bc of her parents' tumultuous marriage and subsequent divorce but that doesn't change the fact that she's the daughter of Kamal Hassan, one of the biggest stars in the history of Indian cinema

Kiara Advani- Magha Moon

Kiara is from a very wealthy and illustrious family, and she grew up as a much loved, spoilt ish daughter<3

Wonyoung- Magha Sun

Wonyoung is from a filthy rich family and she has said that she grew up very pampered. And that she didn't have an allowance bc whatever she asked for she got. However she became a trainee at 12yrs of age and that journey could not have been easy. Despite being born rich, she's had to go through a lot in life to be where she is today

Aditi Rao Hydari- Magha Moon

she's of actual royal lineage so she's a real life princess but her parents divorced when she was a kid and she grew up with a single mom in delhi and not in a palace

9. DMX- Mula Sun (dog yoni) was obsessed with dogs

The late rapper DMX's relationship with dogs, which seems almost mythical. He was born in 1970 - the year of the Metal Dog, and in his teens he ran away from his abusive household and befriended stray dogs while vulnerable on the streets. He began to gather dogs for protection, intimidation and family, and was sent to prison for stealing a dog (a neglected dog chained up in a scrapyard). In prison, he wrote a lot of his early songs, in which he came up with his "dog" mythology, in which he imagines himself as a monstrous dog-themed gangster who barks and howls. He had a huge tattoo of his favourite dog Boomer on his back. In 2008, his 12 dogs were taken from him by cops after there were reports of animal cruelty - DMX had paid a negligent caretaker to look after the dogs while he was on tour. (The dogs lived out the rest of their lives as therapy animals in a women's prison)

I think its interesting how our yoni animal influences our life

10. As Vighati graha, male planets are: Sun, Mars, Jupiter, Rahu; female planets are: Moon, Venus, Ketu whilst two eunuch planets are Mercury and Saturn. All the standard rules for determination of the sex of the child are applicable, female signs are: Taurus, Gemini, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn and Aquarius; male signs are: Aries, Cancer, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius and Pisces. Exalted planets indicate male issue and debilitated planets indicate female.

11. Mercurial men and Jupiter men are soooo flamboyant, sassy and gender non-conforming

RuPaul- Vishaka Sun & Moon

Elton John- Jyeshta Rising

Jeff Goldblum- Jyeshta Moon

Prince- Vishaka Rising

Jimi Hendrix- Mars in Vishaka atmakaraka

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

Sep 26th

~*~

1. Hi good evening, I'm looking for a wangxian fanfic, where yu ziyuan was Jin guangshan's concubine, if not You already found it, on an old list, and I would love to read it again @glass-madness

~*~

2. Hi there! I've been trying to find this fic to re-read for a while now and I'm hoping that someone else recognizes it (and that it's not deleted!)

I believe it was in the "LWJ marries the Yiling Patriarch" category and there was a Yiling Wei sect or something similar (although it's been a very long time and I don't recall anyone else actually being in the sect so I could be wrong on either/both counts). WWX often went back and forth between the Burial Mounds and Baoshan Sanren's mountain via portal (?) as they were trying to cure Lan Yi of her spiritual malady (?). Last I still remember it was a WIP, and one of the little details that sticks in my mind was that BSSR had gotten WWX doing decorative knotwork to keep his hands busy, so the palace had incredibly intricate pieces, like, everywhere, and he often gifted it to people.

Hopefully that sounds familiar to someone; thank you for all you do! @tevokkia

2 check #17 on this old post, it also mentions knotwork and BSSR and might be what you're looking for

FOUND? 💖🔒love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360k, wangxian, immortal WWX, slow burn, pining, arranged marriages)

FOUND? inevitable everything by isabilightwood (E, 193k, WangXian, WQ/MM, JYL/JZX, BSSR/LY, Canon Divergence, YLLZ WWX, but WWX is BSSR's disciple/adoptive grandson too, the cultivation sects think this is a, War Prize AU, it's actually self-arranged marriage, Arranged Marriage, yin iron shenanigans, LWJ Has Friends, Mutual Pining, Pining while fucking, LWJ Has a YLLZ Kink, Switch WangXian, BDSM, Submissive LWJ, Dominant WWX, Angst with a Happy Ending, magical illness of a side character (who will get better), Rope Bondage, Impact Play, Rimming, Bottom LWJ, Temperature Play, Face-Fucking, Breathplay, (talisman-based breathplay to be specific), Cock Warming, Public Scene, no one gets naked in public this is the sense of WWX invents the, Remote Controlled Vibrator, Semi-Public Sex, Outdoor Sex, Blindfolds, one qingmian smut scene with oral and fingering, Minor Character Death, All Sex Scenes Are Skippable!)

~*~

3. Hello! I’m looking for a short fic w 1-3 chapters where there’s canon divergence bc wwx was really pretty due to his dad. I remember in it, when jfm brings him back to the lotus pier, yzy actually denies any rumors of a possible affair bc he looks so much like wcz

I also remeber in it wwx uses his beauty to stop wrh from going into a qi deviation and stops the sun shot campaign as a result

FOUND? The Most Beautiful Man Alive (and his gremlin son) by meyari (T, 4k, WangXian, attempted child molestation (discussed), sexual assault (awareness of the possibility, it doesn't happen ever, beauty as a tool, Smart WWX, Protective JYL, Protective JC, Good Parent JFM, Protective YZY, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies)

~*~

4. Hi, can you please help me find this fic. It’s a modern au where lan zhan and Wei Ying are soulmates. Wei Ying finds out because he saw a painting of Han Guang Jun and thinks his soulmate is dead. He starts to work in the museum operated by xiao xingchen or song lan where they collect stuff that belongs to Han Guang Jun and Yiling Laozu. At the end turns out lan zhan also went to the museum and they kept missing each other because they went at different timings. Thankssss @marshmallowbeats

~*~

5. Hi! I'm looking for a wangxian omegaverse ao3 fic. It's in a futuristic cyber/tech setting where people have machine implants in their bodies. From what I remember the synopsis goes like this: Wei Ying was travelling from one planet to another with a baby a-yuan, his implants fail and Lan Zhan finds them. LZ takes them in and mistakes a-yuan as his biological son with WY. Some other details like the yin tiger seal being an AI and WY having dirt on the Jins. Thank you very much!!!!! @mithesimmer

FOUND? I'll buy you the moon (I'll buy you two) by Thesaurus_with_no_words (E, 27k, WangXian, Science Fiction, Space, Rebels, Space Opera, On the Run, Promoted To Parent, Robots, Androids, Mechs, Battle Mechs, Hurt/Comfort, Technopathy, Willful and Deliberate Baby and Wife Acquisition, Porn With Plot, Mpreg)

~*~

6. hello! idk if this site is still active, but im looking for a mdzs time travel fic where wwx returned during cloud recesses study era. there was a scene where he slits his throat because he thinks its better if he just dies (everyone worries about him including madam yu)

FOUND? 💖 (Un)Hidden truth by Sarah_R (M, 291k, wangxian, major character death, time travel, characters watching their show, suicide attempt, panic attacks, self-harm, nightmares, hurt/comfort, angst, WIP)

~*~

7. looking for a fic modern au established relationship one shot wangxian where lwj gets appendicitis (i think it was that, it was some kind of pain he had to have a procedure for) and he like wakes wwx up next to him so that he can go to the hospital and wwx feels worried/guilty/stressed bc he didn’t notice and lwj didn’t say anything can’t remember the name ! @willesnelson

~*~

8. Hello! I had to switch phones and lost all my fanfic open tabs, and I'm trying to remember the names of all of them. One I cannot recall for the life of me was a WIP with only one chapter where during the Burial Mounds Siege Wei Wuxian was basically sort of rescued by Lan Wangji but then put to trial by the cultivation sects and he agreed to be imprisioned as long as they guaranteed A-Yuan's safety. I remember it being a sort of Madam Lan situation, or something. Can you help me?

~*~

9. A) Hi! This is for fic finder. I dont remember much and i dont remember if it was modern with cultivation. Focus on junior quartet. Wen remnant live. They are on summer camp that the jin organized. A-yuan comes to the camp with JWY (im not sure about this). A-yuan then befriended jl, oyzz, ljy. I think they are in the same room (dorm room but its a cottage? I dont know what its called). In group activity, a-yuan sneak up to meet up with wn and the other three sneak up to follow a-yuan. Long story short, a-yuan, ljy, and oyzz is invited to lanling because they are jl friend (either because that or they rescued him). The one that invite them is either jgs or jgy (i think it was jgs). They tried to track wwx but always failed. When jgy comes to the summer camp, they tried to disguise a-yuan as lan diciple but failed. And then jgy found out that a-yuan is wwx son and forced them to go to lanling. In lanling, a-yuan wants to leave and jl, oyzz, and ljy helped. Su She is the one that tracked them down when they tried to run away. Thats all i can remember. Thanks

B) Hi! This is for fic finder. Its a modern with cultivation fic i think. Wen remnant lives and in hiding. Focused on junior quartet. A-yuan comes to summer camp that the jin organized with JWY. A yuan the befriended jl, ljy, and oyzz. They are in the same room (dorm room but a cottage? I dont know what it is called). Jl, ljy, and oyzz is kinda suspicious of a-yuan because he is the only one that are not affliated with a sect. The three of them followed a-yuan in secret when a-yuan sneak up to meet up with wn. Long story short, jgs invited ljy, oyzz, and a-yuan to lanling because they are jl friends. When jgy comes to the camp, they tried to disguise a-yuan as lan diciple and failed. Jgy forced them to go to lanling (honestly i think he kinda kidnapped them). I think he found out that a-yuan is wwx son and used him to lure out wwx. In lanling, jl, ljy, and oyzz helped a-yuan to leave. Su She is the one that responsible of them. Thats all i can remember. Thanks! @idontknowwhattowriteforusername

~*~

10. Hi, lovely people. I'm looking for a fic where LWJ takes WWX out the Burial Mounds, along w/all the Wens (against their will, but keeping 'em safe) & brings 'em to Gusu. He turns WWX into an omega w/a "recipe" of Wen Qing (who does it just for their own safety), until WY gets pregnant of Sizhu & Jingyi (not sure abt the names), but he often doubts abt having being an omega b4 & he's always being forced to have sex. LZ treats him rough & poorly, even in front of their sons. WWX ends up getting tired & runs away w/the kids, leaves 'em in the woods & jumps off a cliff. (Prob. Dark LWJ) TYSM! @einherjermineord

FOUND?🔒forfeit by eightroses (E, 12k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Dark, Dark LWJ, Rape/Non-con Elements, Dubious Consent, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Alpha to Omega transformation, Alpha LWJ, Alpha WWX, Omega WWX, Sexual Coercion, Kidnapping, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Forced Feminization, Mpreg, Forced Pregnancy, Fainting, Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Vomiting, Rough Sex, Knotting, Medical Inaccuracies, Body Horror, Abuse, Domestic Violence, Trauma, No happy ending here)

~*~

11. I’m looking for a wangxian fic where wangji tells wei ying what he did in the cold pond (the handfasting) while their in the cloud recesses and it diverges from there @wrappedaroundxielian

~*~

12. For FicFinder – trying to find a fic I thought I had marked for later. I think it was modern with magic au? I think LWJ takes over an old theatre called the burial mounds which used to be WWX's? In this AU I think LWJ thinks WWX is dead or he didn't know WWX until he bought the theatre. honestly not sure this will be found but I appreciate any clues all the same. tysm for all you do running this blog. @itsallwearecalledtodo

~*~

13. Hi, I’m looking for an ABO fic where WWX is an O and LWJ is an A and they’re soulmates. But WWX has been hiding his identity and pretending to be a B, because he got abused in his old pack and had run away (?) I think. @plzloveme

FOUND?🔒backfire by spookykingdomstarlight (E, 115k, wangxian, LWJ/MXY, One-Sided MXY/WWX, MXY/NMJ, Modern, BDSM AU, Biologically Determined Dom/sub Roles, BDSM, Bad BDSM Etiquette, Sadism, Masochism, Past Sexual Abuse, Sexual Slavery, Self-Harm, BDSM as a Form of Self-Harm, Minor Character Death(s), Arson, Shades of Black Widow WWX, Extremely Dubious Consent, Rape/Non-con Elements, Normalized Homosexuality and Bisexuality, Normalized Polyamory, nonsexual bdsm, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Pining WWX, jealous WWX, Touch-Starved WWX, Professional Dominant WWX, Sex Worker WWX, gentle dom LWJ, Mean Dom LWJ, oblivious LWJ, Past WC/WWX, Minor JGY/WWX, Mentioned WWX/Others, Emotional Infidelity, Angst with a Happy Ending, endgame wangxian, MXY Also Gets a Happy Ending, the tags are scary but i promise there's some lightheartedness too, wangxian love one another so much, WWX is healed by the power of nonsexual bdsm and friendship, and then gets bdsm'd quite sexually and happily by the love of his life, Additional Warnings In Author's Note)

~*~

14. hello! i’m looking for a fic where jc post-siege finds wwx’s diaries in the burial mounds and he gets transported???? into the memories of each book

FOUND! Waiting On You by SmellsLikeDeanSpirit (M, 26k, JC & WWX, WangXian, WIP, Graphic Depicitions of Violence, Major Character Death, Angst with a Happy Ending, Memories, Time Travel, Sort Of, the characters watching the show trope but different, WWX has magical diaries that force the reader to experience his memories, JC finds them and reads them, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Violence, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Bashing, Bad Parent YZY, YZY Bashing, Canonical Character Death, he comes back tho, JC regrets, JC Needs a Hug, WWX Needs a Hug)

~*~

15. Hi, this is for fic finder! I’m looking for a fic where wei ying and lan zhan are betrothed (I can’t remember if they were betrothed since childhood or during the cloud recesses arc. But basically the jiangs agree to the betrothal because they expect wei ying to be miserable in cloud recesses with all the gusu lan rules. However when they see how wei ying is actually loved and respected, they get super mad. I think madam yu gets mad because her own children are not in loving marriages?

There’s a possibility it might’ve been a/b/o but I’m not sure if i’m getting fics mixed up here 😭

But please help me find this fic! I’m always so grateful for the work you guys do

FOUND?🔒Alliance AU series by Ilona22 (E, 21k, WangXian, JYL/OC, Arranged Marriage, A/B/O Dynamics, PWP, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Intersex Omegas, Not JC Friendly, Matchmaking, canon Jiang family dynamics, Family time, Night Hunts, Mention of male omega pregnancy, Intrigue at Jinlintai, Mentions of Prostitution, War, Conflict between characters)

~*~

16. Hello ^^ I am looking for a fic where LWJ and JC traveled back in time and LWJ was the first one that found Wwx on the streets. Thx! @yoonieby

FOUND? A Matter of Time series by mrcformoso (E, 84k, wangxian, time travel fix-it, graphic depictions of violence, underage, LWJ pov, JC pov, dark LWJ, manipulation, grooming, teen body adult mind for LWJ, happy ending for wangxian, problematic consensual underage sex, blood & violence, insane LWJ, manic LWJ)

~*~

17. hi can you help me find a fic where lan zhan participates in a wei ying engagement tournament. Lwj wore a mask so as not to be recognized @silvanagomes87

FOUND? travelers through the empty gate by stiltonbasket (M, 107k, WangXian, royalty au, mistaken identity, emperor WWX, poor LWJ, forced marriage, (by LWJ himself), confused WWX, parenthood, misunderstandings, empress LWJ, fluff & humor, married life, angst w/ happy ending, WIP)

~*~

18. Hey hi, I’m looking for a missing wangxian fic. It takes place during the sunshot campaign, lwj and wwx are cursed(?) so that they feel eachother’s emotions, lwj pines and wwx is acting aloof and angry, lwj goes to jiang cheng and asks to marry wwx and lwj hits the table when jc insults wwx. Lwj and wwx share a dream and wwx is convinced that it’s all in his head before lwj walks into his tent repeating what he said in the dream. Eventually, lwj and wwx are married before the last battle and lwj is grievously injured. There’s a happy ending tho. Please lmk if you find this, I’ve spent days looking @remembertosaygoodbye

~*~

19. Hi! This is for fic finder. I dont remember much, but i think it was mentioned that nmj is suspicious of the jin after the first burial mound siege. After he sees that the wen is just an old person. When jin rusong dies, nmj secretally goes to He sect and hide the non combatan in the sect. Thats all i can remember. Thanks @idontknowwhattowriteforusername

~*~

20. hello! I'm looking for this wangxian fic I think it is based on the song Driver's License by Olivia Rodrigo, it does not have a happy ending since wwx and lwj do not end up together in the end

thank you!

hello! thanks for answering my question in the fic finder post! question #20 I reviewed the summary, but unfortunately that is not the fic 😭 I remember that in the end wwx marries someone else (but not lwj) thanks for responding! 💗😊 and sorry for not explaining my question well

NOT FOUND! driver’s license by cryptenhope (T, 5k, WangXian, Modern AU, Post-Break Up, Making Up, Getting Back Together, Happy Ending if you read the ending notes, Ambiguous/Open Ending)

~*~

[lil-gae-disaster]

This takes place before they get together btw! :3

Also inspiration for this was the message I put in the discord chat yesterday evening because those gay guys are eating my brain

[ @hamalicious-soup @papers-pamphlet @paradox-complex @imobsessedwiththeatre @schnitzelsemmerl @cacaobeans @doodle-bug-nightmares @almaprincess66 @potatosneevees ]

"Truly, Sir, I do not see the necessity of such services when I am well able to do such on my own." Such words were uttered with a laugh by none other than Jonathan Smith, who had the- ill?- fortune of sharing a tent with one peculiar Frederick Kenneth.

The reason for such protests was quite simple; Frederick had insisted on tying his tentmates cravat ever since he had done so once during their shared winter and Jonathans fingers had been too stiff by the cold to do such mundane task for himself. The blond man- of schottish heritage if he had guessed the accents origin right- had offered his services when he had seen the Englishman struggle.

Not only had Frederick been aiding Jonathan with his quite long hair, now he had been insisting on tying the mans cravat for months now, as it was late spring and nearing summer, he had no such necessity for such generous services. And yet, his protests were not genuine.

Such acts made the blue eyed man look at him, genuinely look at him, and Jonathan found he thrived under such given attention.

"Why, I do enjoy such tasks. They are of repetitive nature, much unlike a lot of things in life." Frederick begun to explain. "Such motions are calming, unlike life itself. I find enjoyment in them." He continued while his hands were expertedly repeating such motions, which he had yet to do on himself.

Thus, leaving part of his lightly freckled neck revealed.

Jonathan found fascination in the man before him, especially in the pattern that decorate his cheeks and nose, and now apparently also his neck, but by far lighter than the clear spots of stars on this mans handsome face.

"Much like blacksmithing, I suppose. The motion with the tools are repeated ones. And yet, they bring different results." Jonathan added as Frederick was pulling at the cravat to make it appear as orderly and proper as possible.

Frederick nodded in agreement, but did not add anything further on the topic of blacksmithing, instead opting to speak of his own profession. "You are right, but I had thought more of sewing. The motions are repeated, I cannot switch to another kind of stitch halfway through sewing two pieces of fabric together, and result in similar and yet different works." He said while he was loosening the cravat where it was too tight for Jonathan without the latter having to tell him.

This was what Jonathan appreciated about his tentmate; the slow mornings and the small acts of kindness that have proven to be just as pleasant for Frederick as they are for Jonathan. And such mundane discussions of life and their professions, as if they are two young men, yet unexperienced of life, talking greatly of how they would spend their lives doing what they enjoyed.

It was bizarre for him. Not even a decade ago, he was trapped under his father and fiancé, but now he is here, free, with a profession his family would have never approved of, and in the presence of another man doing tasks that might belong to a housewife. But Jonathan found himself opposing little to none of this arrangement.

Frederick seems to be satisfied with Jonathans cravat now and has taken to straighten his coat, his deep blue eyes never leaving the other man, his lip between his teeth in concentration. "Sir, I would like to ask of you to cease such abuse of your lips for we are provided with enough food for you to not need to eat them." Jonathan asked his tentmate in good humor and genuine concern. Said man let loose of his lip, which is already quite rough to look at, but the Englishman can tell the other mans teeth have not ceased to bite.

Frederick has finished nitpicking everything about Jonathans attire, accompanied with mutters of what he should seek to repair with his own thread and needle he took with him when he had joined, and looked Jonathan in the eyes with his intense gaze.

Oh lord how had Jonathan just wanted to reach to cradle this mans face, to hold all the intense emotions he may portray in his hands and to trace the star-filled nightsky this man was bearing on his face.

He wanted to run his fingers through this mans near golden mess of curls and hair. He wanted to tell him how much he meant to Jonathan and how much he would loathe should Frederick perish in battle or fall victim to the harsh winters.

He wished to make Frederick understand just how dearly he is regarded by many, but mostly he wished to tell Frederick how he felt, he wanted to pour his heart out while gazing into the intense and endless blue that seemed to be this mans eyes. He wanted to yell at the top of his lungs just how dearly he regards Frederick, how much this mans existence has kept him afloat when should he be sinking instead.

Frederick is the embodiment of sunshine, and Jonathan is the plants that need such to survive.

Jonathan does not know for how long he was lost in the other mans eternal blue, but he gets thrown out of the daze he finds himself in by Frederick breaking the eye contact, excused with a mutter of "I should move to get ready."

Jonathan nods in agreement, but he stays put. He feels he would leave a part of himself behind in this tent should he leave without his friend. This seems to not bother Frederick, for he is too busy searching his coat and cravat.

Once he had found such- his coat had been hiding under their shared cot and his cravat had made itself a home under Fredericks pillow- he hastily put them on and made a move to leave, but Jonathan halted him.

The blond man looked at him intensely with his eyes reflecting pure confusion. Jonathan said nothing, instead he moved to straighten Fredericks cravat and coat, much like the other man did with him. Perhaps it was just an action of camaraderie between them without any other intentions.

Jonathan did not achieve such a flawless result as Frederick, but yet as he stepped back to allow the man to have his space yet again, Jonathan discovered Frederick watching him wordlessly with a slight rose tint on his cheeks, unable to be hidden by the countless freckles that adored the mans face and seemed to add individuality to the universally human reaction of flattery and care.

Jonathan smiled and it took a great amount of restraint to not let any adoration he may hold for the man show in his eyes.

It seems he should not have reason to worry, since Fredericks only reaction was a darker flush of his cheeks and a hurried exit out of the tent.

Jonathan sighed. What was this game of feelings and friendships they were playing?

The Englishman did not ponder on such further and instead opted to follow his tentmate in a hurry to greet the new day they should be thankful for getting to experience, since death seems inevitable in such times where war is looming over them all, threatening to take their life every moment they spend on the battlefield.

[loveless-arobee]

My main gripe with the posts that are like "love is love includes platonic/familial/queerplatonic/etc. love" is ofc that they still fully ignore and exclude loveless people.

But what is also quite noticeable is that they also never mention sexual love. Because, it seems, in one stance about love (beside the "everybody loves"), a lot of aspecs still agree with society: that sexual love either just straight-up doesn’t exist, or that it’s inherently bad and abusive (that loving someone sexually without romance is abuse, "only using them for sex" etc.)

And on the other hand you also have aspecs acting like, on a societal level, sexual love is seen as equal to romantic love (with phrasing such as "love that isn’t romantic or sexual is devalued by society"), as if romanceless sexual love isn’t seen as basically the worst thing ever.

While I don’t experience love per se, the only type of love I can relate to even remotely is specifically sexual love. I care a lot for people I’m sexually attracted to, and sex is very important to me overall. And let me tell you, me expressing interest in a purely sexual relationship, no matter if I’d label my feelings as love or anything similar, are not ever treated any better than friendships or platonic relationships are.

I’m demonised to hell and back from queer people and non-queer allies and queerphobes all the same for my feelings and opinions on sex. Sex is seen as something that should only happen in very specific situations, and only then is it "good"; any other type of sex is "bad"; it’s just the definition that varies slightly between those groups—and I fit none of their definitions for "good" sex. No one sees sexual love without romance as a positive thing, least of all something equal to romance. (And especially not sexual intimacy and closeness without love and romance (or friendship, in slightly more progressive views, but that’s rare tbh))

Its just very noticeable that the majority of queer people, and between those especially aspecs because they do talk about non-romantic love the most, still don’t see sexual love as something that could just exist. It’s very noticeable when there’s hundreds of posts broadening the definition of love to include literally everything but specifically sexual love. Endless lists about what love is in non-romantic ways, and it’s glaringly obvious that people just do not believe anyone could care for someone they "just" want to fuck, "just" have a sexual relationship with, without wanting to be labelled as friends or anything similar even when they do things other see as friendship because they cannot grasp that people can care for their sexual partners even without having feelings for them that aren’t sexual.

Just still seems very sex-negative to limit sex to be something that either happens between people in a different kind of relationship (usually romantic, but again, some do agree you can have sex with friends, too), or something emotionless between strangers who then never interact with each other again (which is also most of the time treated as a bad thing which should stop).

Point is: Maybe question why you exclude sexual love specifically from your post about non-romantic love. (And at the same time, also stop acting like every person must experience some type of love)

[aziraphales-library]

Hello! Thank you so much for all your hard work I've found so many great fics here! I have a recommendation/request. I recently read the WIP, Play for me the Music of your Heart (https://archiveofourown.org/works/40016034) by Leviosally468 which is fabulous. Do you know of other fics where one or both of them are classical musicians/conductors? I looked through the famouscrowley and famousaziraphale tags but didn't find anything. Thanks so much!!

Hi! Here are some fics in which one or both of them are involved with classical music (and one jazz, because it's really good)...

Opera Cakes and Second Takes by ThatWriterKid (T)

One week. Four pairs of students. The goal: write an opera and perform it in six days. Professors Ezra Fell and Anthony Crowley weren’t expecting to write an opera in a week, but tenure is rare and life throws you curveballs.

The Underlying Melody by Tossukka (E)

Crowley is the keyboardist and the main songwriter in a world-famous rock band, the Burning Rejects. When the band is asked to perform with a classical violinist in a charity concert, Crowley isn’t thrilled but tentatively agrees to do it for a good cause. Aziraphale, who performs under the stage name A.Z. Fell isn't any more excited to play his violin with a rock band but accepts the proposition for similar reasons. When Crowley and Aziraphale meet, they expect to have nothing in common. However, their working relationship quickly turns into close friendship and mutual attraction. Between rehearsals for the concert, they share lunches, enjoy nights of drunken conversations, and manage to have and resolve some artistic differences. When the performance approaches, both know their collaboration will soon be over, taking away their excuses for spending so much time together, but neither of them is quite ready yet to let each other go.

I Attempt from Love's Sickness to Fly (in Vain) by wyrmy (E)

“Goodness me,” said Aziraphale breathlessly, “this isn’t what one is supposed to do in a practice room.” Crowley, a vocal student at University, is assigned to collaborate with a student accompanist, Aziraphale, who has some very strange and dark secrets.

Love, Syncopation, and Other Key Elements of Jazz by feathereddino (T)

The jazz duo of A.J. and Fell are an unstoppable force well into their mid-twenties, but when Crowley's illness causes the pair to step back from the spotlight, an enterprising music manager scoops up Aziraphale's career. Dazzled, Aziraphale will abandon all of his former life to be Gabriel's perfect star but lose himself and his happiness along the way. It would take a very steady and forgiving heart for someone to love him through it all...

Intermezzo by FeralTuxedo (E)

Music critic Aziraphale Fell is trying to break into the world of television, when he is signed to make a documentary about former-rockstar-turned-composer Anthony Crowley. It’s been eleven years since Aziraphale’s disastrous review of Crowley’s debut opera nipped his classical music career in the bud. He can only hope that Crowley will get over his admittedly justified grudge to make the TV show a success. A classical music sex comedy. Yes, really.

Of Harpsichord and Falsetto by saretton (E)

"And that was the magic of it all: Aziraphale was at such a level in his mastery that he could tidy up all that apparent chaos. He made it seem so easy, so effortless, even though Crowley knew that, behind that polished façade, there were years of study, practice and daily sacrifices. In the days when they both attended the music school, Crowley used to sit outside the rehearsal classroom to listen to Albert as he practiced playing the piano almost every afternoon. Sometimes Crowley would even ditch other classes to do that." ----- A Good Omens Musicians AU.

And the one you mentioned...

Play for me the Music of your Heart by Leviosally468 (E) (WIP)

Anthony J. Crowley, a talented virtuoso violinist finally makes the move west to Nightingale Bay, Oregon after escaping a simultaneously promising yet toxic life at Elysian Conservatory of Music in New York City. Aziraphale Z. Fell is Eastern Gate University’s friendly and talented piano professor and symphony conductor. Let's see how that goes, shall we?

- Mod D