#and then some places like grocery stores have recently been allowed to get a license that lets them sell beer and wine but only between

[emi1y]

Emily's "Use Up My Leftover Mixers" Cocktail:

3 oz of that weird gin that I'm trying to get rid of as fast as possible

2 ish oz of schweppes tonic water

Wanted to use more tonic water but that bottle ran out, so also used another 2 oz of fever tree tonic water

However much is left of that guava juice that i opened forever ago

Some orange juice leftover from when I was sick and I'm not going to drink it on its own but there's so much of it left still

At this point the glass is full, so drink some to make space in the glass for ice. When you taste it, realize there's something missing so just try throwing in whatever you've got lying around. My inspiration was "first things I saw on the top shelf of my fridge"

Like a little vermouth because i forgot what it tasted like so I took a sip and was like, yeah sure whatever

A few splashes of orange bitters because I'm so obsessed with it I've been adding it to every drink i make

[maxineholtzmann]

Hey new friends! If you're here because of my recent ficlet, I have a longer steddie fic on ao3 you might be interested in! Here's a snippet:

PROJECT EASY-BAKE

ONE - WEDNESDAY, MARCH 26th, 1986

Max Mayfield was up to something. She’d popped over on Sunday to ask for flour. Then again on Tuesday. Now it was Wednesday and here she was on Eddie’s front porch again.

“I need to borrow 2 cups of flour,” she said flatly, holding the same red plastic mixing bowl she’d been holding the last two times.

“Wow, no ‘Hi Eddie, you’re such a great neighbour, how are you doing’? This is the third time this week you’ve asked for flour. What the hell are you baking and why are you baking it in such high quantities? ” Eddie crossed his arms, leaning on the door frame of his trailer.

“None of your business, Edward. If you don’t have any I can just go ask Mrs Murphy down the road,” Max started to turn away, moving exaggeratedly slowly, glancing sidelong back at Eddie to see if he would stop her. Of course he was going to stop her–Mrs Murphy would trap her in her trailer for the next six hours if she went over there.

“Fine–you can have the flour. But I do think I deserve some kind of explanation about what it’s all for and why you haven’t just gone to buy your own bag of flour by now,” Eddie stepped back into the trailer, beckoning Max in. The girl turned, her braids whipping Eddie’s chest lightly as she stalked past him to the kitchen.

“Yeah, because I can just carry a whole bag of flour home from the grocery store on my skateboard,” Max said, rolling her eyes as she set the bowl down on the counter. She made quick work of locating the bag of flour in the cupboard and grabbing the measuring cup off the counter where she had left it the day before.

“Couldn’t Harrington take you? I know he chauffeurs all you freshmen around for whatever reason. I saw his car here on Monday,” Eddie was on a fishing expedition. He’d been trying all year to figure out why his little sheep were all obsessed with Steve Harrington of all people–maybe Max was his way in.

Max grimaced slightly, measuring out the first cup of flour carefully into the bowl, “Normally, yeah I could ask him. But not for this.”

“What, does he have a vendetta against the grocery store or something?” Eddie hopped up on the counter next to her.

“Get your ass off the counter, that’s not sanitary,” Max lightly shoved his legs, getting flour on his black jeans.

“If you think anything in this kitchen is sanitary , Red, you’d be incorrect. Stop changing the subject–what is all of this for? And why on god’s green Earth do you not want Harrington to know about it?” Eddie scooted closer as Max carefully measured out the second cup of flour.

She paused, considering. “If I tell you, you have to promise not to tell anyone.”

Eddie perked up, of course , he should have thought of this earlier. “Oh, so that’s it. You have a crush on Harrington. I mean, he’s a bit old for you, but I can see the appeal–”

“What? No! Ew! He’s like my weird hybrid brother-mom.” Max looked at him like he had five heads. “It’s his birthday next Tuesday and I’m trying to bake him a cake but every time I try it turns out disgusting. Sunday it was burnt and yesterday it was raw in the middle! He does a lot for us and I know no one else even knows when his birthday even is and I wanted to do something…nice, for once. If you tell anyone I said that I’ll kill you.”

“How do you know when his birthday is, then?” Eddie hopped down off the counter, leaning against it instead.

“I stole his wallet, saw his driver’s license,” Max shrugged, as if it was obvious. She dusted off her hands and closed up the bag of flour, placing it back in the cupboard.

“Wait, do you mean to tell me that Harrington’s birthday is April Fool’s Day ?” Eddie said after a moment, calculating in his head Tuesday’s date.

“Yes, and you are not allowed to tell anyone ,” Max said, scooping up her bowl of flour and pointing a finger up at him.

“What are you gonna do if I do, fight me?” Eddie scoffed outwardly, but he was a little sure that Mayfield could take him if she wanted to. She was small but scrappy.

Max rolled her eyes, “Oh Edwin, I don’t need to fight you. I know where you sleep and I own scissors. I’ll just cut your hair off in the night.” She smiled up at him sweetly.

Eddie yelped, hands instinctively going to his hair, as if by holding onto it he could prevent it from being cut.

“Now let’s go–I need adult supervision,” Max grabbed Eddie’s arm and hauled him out of the trailer. “And don’t think I forgot about your ability to ‘see the appeal’ of Steve.” She waggled her eyebrows at his stunned silence as she dragged Eddie across the road to her trailer.

Walking into the Mayfield’s trailer, it became apparent to Eddie almost immediately that Max’s mom was drinking again–there were beer bottles and cans all over the coffee table, side tables and dining table. The only surface clear of empties was the kitchen counter, which currently was covered in an assortment of baking ingredients and utensils.

“Okay, so the recipe says we need sugar, butter, eggs, cocoa, milk, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Here–” Max thrust a whisk into Eddie’s hands, “You can be my human mixer.”

“So it’s not so much ‘adult supervision’ and more ‘you don’t want to mix the batter by hand yourself’?” Eddie raised an eyebrow, but got to work whisking together the dry ingredients as Max measured and dumped them into the bowl.

“Look, if you help me with this, I can help you with your extremely sad crush on Steve.” Max continued measuring ingredients.

“I do not under any circumstances have a crush on Steve. I just want to know why all of you seem to worship him. Henderson won’t shut up about him! It’s all ‘Steve this’ and ‘Steve that’! He is far too beefy and hairy and tall and covered in tiny moles and clean and OH NO.” Eddie dropped the whisk, staring off into the middle distance in horror as he realized that he did in fact, under all circumstances, have a crush on Steve Harrington. And he had just admitted it to his child neighbour. Who was friends with Steve.

“There it is,” Max patted him on the arm. “Now get back to whisking.”

read the rest of Project Easy Bake on ao3!

[nickgerlich]

Bar None

I always chuckle at the resistance to technology. Sometimes it is just people afraid of change, a recurring theme in our discussions this semester. In other cases, it is difficulty or unwillingness to learn new things. And then there are the people for whom the change becomes either a privacy concern, or evidence of prophecy they have come to believe in their religious walk.

Like the guy I have known since childhood who recently posted to his Facebook about Panera launching palm scanning technology to make payments, which they have licensed from Amazon. Cue the antichrist.

I also recall with a laugh the tales my younger brother tells of when he was a bagger at a south suburban Chicago grocery in the early-80s. By then bar codes had been on products for about a decade, but there were still people who feared that scanning would somehow irradiate their food. They demanded their groceries be hand-checked, which, of course, defeated the whole efficiency aspect of the bar codes in the first place.

Speaking of bar codes, they recently marked their 50th birthday. Well, with some caveats and asterisks, of course, because the story is somewhat murky. Let’s just say there were numerous efforts afoot after WWII to develop scanning technologies. It took until 3rd April 1973 before IBMs version of what is commonly used today was approved as the industry standard.



More than a year later in the summer of 1974 the first consumer product—a 10-pack of Wrigley’s Juicy Fruit gum—was scanned at a Marsh grocery store in Troy Ohio. The rest is supermarketing history, and today we are free to scan our own groceries and anything else that has a bar code.

I love telling this story if only because I conducted all of my dissertation research with Marsh, which was headquartered in Yorktown Indiana in the late-80s. The chain went belly-up in 2017, their nearly four dozen stores either shuttering or being sold off like ephemera at an estate sale.

Today, we take bar codes for granted. We know their use will not cause our food to become radioactive. We know that antichrist is not at all associated with them. In fact, the only contentious bone to be picked is among those who decry self-check at the store. But that’s a whole other issue entirely.

Bar codes allowed for speedier service at the checkout, as well as inventory tracking. While nothing can account for shoplifting and pilferage like a physical inventory, the data stream created by scanning does allow stores to at least track what passed through the door legitimately, as well as tie it to us personally if we use electronic payments.

Interestingly, bar codes are a distant precursor to the QR code we have today. Most people associate the QR code with COVID, because that’s when we started seeing them at restaurants instead of paper menus. But the QR code was actually invented in 1994. It just took a long time to arrive. In fact, there were efforts to use it in the States around 2010, but it flopped. That was when our smartphones required a separate albeit free app to scan them. Now, our phone cameras can easily read them.

I recall seeing QR codes back in 2019 in China. They were used to make payments, like at restaurants. Since most restaurants there did not accept credit or debit cards, it was either use the QR code or pay cash. And because I did not feel comfortable linking my bank account to Chinese payments—perhaps TikTok anxieties in the making—I opted for cash. That’s so not me.



But here we are in 2023, and I have now used QR codes to make restaurant payments many times. I deem them a lot safer than handing my card to a total stranger, who then disappears for 10 minutes with it.

In fact, we scan pretty much anything and everything today. Whether it is for our baggage, a box car in a train, a delivery from a courier, or the food we buy, these scanable codes are everywhere. And my old friend had better get used to the next wave when we are all just waving our hands to pay.

The eyes have it, and those eyes are built into machines and devices. Who knew 50 years ago it would all lead to this? I sure didn’t see it coming.

Dr “Maybe I Should Just Get My ID Tattooed As A QR Code“ Gerlich

Audio Blog

[howaminotinthestrokesyet]

Behind The Album: Sticky Fingers

In April 1971, the Rolling Stones released their 12th studio album, Sticky Fingers. The recording of this album would mark new territory for the band in a lot of ways. Sticky Fingers would be the first album that had absolutely no participation from the late Brian Jones. This would be the first album released on their new label, Rolling Stones Records. The record would be the first major effort from new guitarist,Mick Taylor. He had participated on the previous album, but on a limited basis. The timing of the album was important as well because it would be the first major work from the band since the disaster at Altamont Speedway. Many things had changed in music since the new decade began.

An important factor that played a large part in the recording of the album was the fact that the band had tremendous tax issues at the time. They had learned that their manager Allen Klein had not been paying their taxes, even though he told them he was doing so. This meant that each member of the band owed quite a bit of money in back taxes to the government. Mick Jagger would later say, “I just didn’t think about taxes and no manager I ever had thought about it, even though they said they were going to make sure my taxes were paid. So after working for seven years I discovered nothing had been paid and I owed a fortune.” One of the first steps came in the band firing Allen Klein. Yet, this did little to minimize their money issues because unbeknownst to the band they had signed over copyrights in America to all their 1960’s material. Klein’s company Abkco Records now held ownership and received all royalties for their music. This financial catastrophe meant that they needed to release new music in order to make any money from the recordings. For this reason, Rolling Stones records was created to begin the process of getting the band out of debt. They needed to retain ownership of their music in order to maximize any kind of profit. After detaching themselves from Allen Klein, Prince Rupert Loewenstein was hired as the group's new financial manager. Looking back now, they finally found someone that would not rob them blind. Atlantic Records was hired to license all of their music, while Marshall Chess of Chess Records would handle the business side of the label. They seemed to trust his background as the president of a hardworking blues label more than anything else. There was a lot riding on this album financially for the band because if it did not sell, then things would go from bad to worse for each member personally.

The recording of Sticky Fingers actually began during their tour of the United States in 1969. They made a visit two muscle Shoals in Alabama because some of their favorite music was recorded there. During this time, the band recorded three songs, “Brown Sugar,” “Wild Horses,” and “You Gotta Move.” Keith Richards with later talk about those sessions in an interview. “The session] one of the easiest and rockingest sessions we’d ever done. I don’t think we’ve been quite so prolific… ever. Those sessions were as vital to me as any I’ve ever done. I mean, all the other stuff we did – ‘Beggars Banquet’, ‘Gimme Shelter’, ‘Street Fighting Man’, ‘Jumpin’ Jack Flash’ – I’ve always wondered that if we had cut them at Muscle Shoals, if they might have been a little bit funkier.” Yet, the recording of the album would take more than a year. The band did not reconvene for more tracks until March 1970 at Mick Jagger‘s estate, Stargroves. He did not have a studio in his house, but instead they used a mobile recording unit. They would use the same thing on the next album, which essentially carried around in a van all the equipment in the sound booth at a recording studio. This unit also allowed the band to record any musicians that just stopped by for a visit. One reason the album took so long was because the material they made during this period was so outstanding. If a song did not end up on Sticky Fingers, then they decided to use it for Exile on Main Street.

Unlike their other releases, this album embodied straight rock and roll. They did not experiment with country, gospel, or anything else for this record. Looking at it in hindsight, this is precisely why people love this album, while critics had mixed reactions about it. The one thing the band did introduce with this album was their new guitarist Mick Taylor. He became a revelation musically because Taylor stood out as the most technically skilled guitarist in the band's history. Keith Richards even said in an interview that the guitar part on “Can’t You Hear Me Knocking” could not be played by him. The guitarist also brought a much more melodic guitar as opposed to Brian Jones previously. This would not be the Rolling Stones, if they did not have any issues at all in the recording of the album. During this time, Keith Richards began to gradually descend into complete and utter heroin addiction. At times, he was so intoxicated during recording they had to abandon completely certain takes. The delay of the album probably had much more to do with his heroin addiction, rather than the amount of material they were producing. Richards would later comment on why he began using the drug. “It was] the periods with nothing to do that got me into heroin. It was more of an adrenaline imbalance. You have to be an athlete out there, but when the tour stops, suddenly your body don’t know there ain’t a show the next night. The body is saying, ‘What am I gonna do, leap out in the street?’ It was a very hard readjustment. And I found smack made it much easier for me to slow down very smoothly and gradually.” At one point during the recording, things got so bad that Mick Jagger filled in for him on the song “Moonlight Mile.” At no point previously would that have even been imagined. This would become quite the conundrum for the band considering the fact that they had just fired Brian Jones for this exact reason. Another interesting aspect of Sticky Fingers was the fact that Gram Parsons did a country version of “Wild Horses” one year before the album was even released for his band. There exist differing accounts on how it all transpired. Jagger and Richards were totally fine with the release of the song. Before his death, Parsons would say in interviews that the song was a gift to him for helping them with country rock songs like “Country Honk” on Sticky Fingers and Let It Bleed. The track is very different from the one the band released, and some critics even argue that the Parsons version is better.

One of the things about Sticky Fingers is that the art associated with the album became just as important as the music. Andy Warhol designed the cover of the album, which was a pair of pants with a working zipper. The first albums had the zipper pull all the way down to reveal white underwear. These albums are collectors items today because they eventually had to switch to a plain photograph. The metal from the zippers was damaging the records when they were stacked in trucks to be delivered. Unfortunately, nobody really knows for sure who the model is on the cover of the album. Some have suspected that it is Joe Johnson, the brother of Warhol's lover at the time. The other iconic piece of art released with this album came in the introduction of the Rolling Stones signature tongue. This has become the most recognizable image for their brand. You probably cannot live in this country without having seen it at least once. The inspiration for it came to Jagger via calendar he owned about Indian culture. “I was looking for a logo when we started Rolling Stones Records. I had this calendar on my wall, it was an Indian calendar, which you’ll see in Indian grocery stores, and it’s the goddess Kali, which is the very serious goddess of carnage and so forth. And she has, apart from her body, this tongue that sticks out. So I took that to John Pasche and he ‘modernized’ it somewhat.”

Upon its release, critics had very mixed reactions towards the album. The main flaw that some found it possessing came in the fact that it underwhelmed. This issue represented what these critics have come to love about the band's more recent efforts. On Beggars Banquet and Let It Bleed, the Stones had experimented quite a bit with their sound venturing off into new areas. Yet, Sticky Fingers did not go in those places, but instead stayed fairly close to basic rock and roll. This emerges as an age old story with a lot of bands. You must do something different in order to impress the critics because they will often say I have already listened to that. The album became the band's most popular one to date as it went number one in both England and America. That fact should actually be the true testament on how good the band's album is overall.

[jul-iet]

weird asks that say a lot

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? Coffee mugs

2. chocolate bars or lollipops? Chocolate bars

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? Bubblegum. Cinnamon

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? Performative, joyful, clever? Haha

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? From soda cans

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? ...

7. earbuds or headphones? Earbuddies

8. movies or tv shows? TV shows

9. favourite smell in the summer? All of it! Seaweed, wind from the ocean, rain on hot ground, thick air

10. game you were best at in p.e.? Most. Running maybe? I enjoyed soccer, basketball

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? Croissants on the best of days, otherwise— some kind of toast maybe paired with fruit

12. name of your favourite playlist? Nice to revisit ones named after places I went

13. lanyard or key ring? Key ring

14. favourite non-chocolate candy? Sour ones

15. favourite book you read as a school assignment? Catcher and the Rye maybe, at the time? Or Lord of the Flies. I really liked studying Shakespeare

16. most comfortable position to sit in? Criss cross or w my knees tucked up to my chest

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? White sneakers

18. ideal weather? Sunny

19. sleeping position? Usually on my left side, sometimes on my back in a crescent shape

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? Journal

21. obsession from childhood? Fictional relationships in my teens, the movie Spirit in my early childhood

22. role model? A well adjusted person with creative life and intellectual exertions

23. strange habits? A bunch I’m sure

24. favourite crystal? Don’t know that I do

25. first song you remember hearing? Apart from movie soundtracks, it’s Tiny Dancer whilst driving south through a desert

26. favourite activity to do in warm weather? Swim

27. favourite activity to do in cold weather? Get warm? Maybe read

28. five songs to describe you? Girl from the North Country, Wildflowers, People I’ve Been Sad, Shrike, Come Back to Camden

29. best way to bond with you? Be kind and interested in things

30. places that you find sacred?

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? Tank top wide legs pants and sneakers

32. top five favourite vines?

33. most used phrase in your phone? Probably “haha” :P

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? NB shoes may b

35. average time you fall asleep? Between one and two, but I’m trying to remedy that

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? Couldn’t recall

37. suitcase or duffel bag? Suitcase

38. lemonade or tea? Tea if I had to choose, but I love lemonade (could make lemon tea and cool…)

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? Lemon cake

40. weirdest thing to ever happen to you at your school? Maybe the fire alarm fiasco

41. last person you texted? Group of 2

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? Jacket pockets

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? Cardi

44. favourite scent for soap? Mmm lots

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? Fantasy, maybe? None, really

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? Shirt knick

47. favourite type of cheese? Brie

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? A rasp I think? Or a tomato

49. what saying or quote do you live by? This one rings true to my daily thoughts. By Cheryl Strayed: "You go on by doing the best you can. You go on by being generous. You go on by being true. You go on by offering comfort to others who can't go on. You go on by allowing the unbearable days to pass and allowing the pleasure in other days. You go on by finding a channel for your love and another for your rage."

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? Probably shenanigans w my sister

51. current stresses? Circumstance, school, direction, reflection

52. favorite font? TNR!!!

53. what is the current state of your hands? Fabü

54. what did you learn from your first job? How to make coffee and to serve strangers

55. favourite fairy tale? Don’t know that I do. Is Dumbo a fairy tale? A Little Life is part fairy tale according to Hanya

56. favourite tradition? Cards

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? Lightly, quickly, vaguely: childhood, panic, listlessness

58. four talents you’re proud of having? Painting, writing, smarts, quick reflexes

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? IDK anime

61. favourite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? Recently, from A Little Life:

"“I’m going”, he tells Jude, but then he doesn’t move. A dragonfly, as shiny as a scarab, hums above them. “I’m going”, he repeats, but he still doesn’t move, and it is only the third time he says it that he’s finally able to stand up from the lounge chair, drunk on the hot air, and shove his feet back into his loafers.  “Limes”, says Jude, looking up at him and shielding his eyes against the sun.  “Right”, he says, and bends down, takes Jude’s sunglasses off him, kisses him on his eyelids, and replaces his glasses. Summer, JB has always said, is Jude’s season: his skin darkens and his hair lightens to almost the same shade, making his eyes turn an unnatural green, and Willem has to keep himself from touching him too much.”

62. seven characters you relate to? I feel that I’m more able to understand than relate to characters, but… the way Patti Smith expresses herself in her biographical books, Little Creek, Willem for how he deals with other peoples’ pain… I think I don’t encounter enough characters for this

63. five songs that would play in your club? Waterloo, Right Down the Line, Nobody’s Diary, Cringe, Take Your Mama

64. favourite website from your childhood? Haha freearcade for wiz 3 maybe

65. any permanent scars? From trips falls cooking singes

66. favourite flower(s)? Wild! No one particularly

67. good luck charms? I feel like my rings are good luck. I’ve had good luck symbols that have come and gone in time

68. worst flavour of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? I think root beer is rank

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? I know there’s a bunch but they come up by chance not choice

70. left or right handed? Right

71. least favourite pattern? Houndstooth?

72. worst subject? Maybe physics

73. favourite weird flavour combo? Idk if I have a favourite… dipped digestives in tatziki recently and it wasn’t bad

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? 7 maybe

75. when did you lose your first tooth? In kindergarten

76. what’s your favourite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? Salt and vinegar chips

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? I’d say herbs for cooking… thyme, basil, rosemary, mint

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? Gas station coffee

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? School ID

80. earth tones or jewel tones? Earthy

81. fireflies or lightning bugs? Fireflies

82. pc or console? Beyond me

83. writing or drawing? Writing usually

84. podcasts or talk radio? Pods

84. barbie or polly pocket? Neither

85. fairy tales or mythology? Mythology?

86. cookies or cupcakes? Cookies

87. your greatest fear? Balding unfulfilled potential infection insanity

88. your greatest wish? Romantic love

89. who would you put before everyone else?

90. luckiest mistake? I feel like the way certain trips fell together was lucky

91. boxes or bags? Bags

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? Sunlight

93. nicknames? Jet yetti jules julio

94. favourite season? Summer

95. favourite app on your phone? Spotify, duolingo, YT… soft spot for all my old travel apps

96. desktop background? Lake water

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? I think around 5

98. favourite historical era? Don’t have one

[treefrog203]

Accidents Can Have Somewhat Happy Endings

Bakudeku Angst

Warnings: Bottling emotions, numbness, questioning self-worth, intrusive thoughts.

Word Count: 4,253 (this got longer than expected whoops)

I’m dedicating this to @todorokitops because they helped me when I was struggling a bit and honestly they’re such a nice person? Like shoot me if I’m wrong but they deserve so much more than a fic dedicated to them. Anyways, please enjoy, it’s my first real fic.  

Also, in Izuku POV I typically referred to Bakuboi as “Kacchan”. In Katsuki POV Izuku is “Izuku” or any other nickname I could think of.

As of late, things had been shit to put it kindly.

 And if this was Midoriya Izuku being “kind” then you can already assume that things weren’t just shit.

He wanted one break from life, one, but what does it throw back at him for this simple request?

 Problems, so many goddamn problems.

 I did what I thought was going to be best for the operation, I was trying to capture the villain, I thought the building was still stable, I wasn’t intentionally trying to hurt those people, let alone kill anyone. 

He swallowed down a hard lump of guilt down his throat to his chest, slowly chewing away at his lungs, making it insufferable to breath. 

That’s right, twelve people died because I failed to make sure the building was secure. Not that I could have done much, it being the only place to push off of other than the air around me. As a result of this failure, my hero’s license was suspended. At least until the media died down and my superiors knew what to do with me.

What were his superiors going to do with him? 

Izuku’s brain suddenly went from fifth gear to sixth.

What if they took away my hero’s license? Not that it mattered too much if he couldn’t even protect people. What if I’m not allowed to work anymore? What if they sentence me to prison? What if they sentence me to death? No- that would be too far, or would it? I took twelve people’s innocent lives, what would be mine? 

Ration told him that they probably weren’t even allowed to do that to the worst of villains, but another, deeper part, told him he’d deserve it, and that everyone would be happier if that happened. 

“No.” Izuku shook his head, attempting to shake the thought out of his brain.  

“No. . ?” asked Shouto who had previously been explaining to the green haired man sitting at the table what the possible outcomes were for his offense, he had just happened to ask Izuku if he’d known what he was doing during the tragedy. Easily, he became flustered, having not heard the question and started to assume the worst before apologizing to the man standing at the other end of the room.

“I was caught in thought,” Izuku started.

Shouto interjected,  “It’s fine Deku, I understand. Please be careful, thinking too much might cause you to act out in a way that you might regret. You can always come to me if you’d like to talk about it.” 

As much as Izuku appreciated the sentiment, something else stuck out the most from his friends sentence, “Don’t call me that right now.” 

His throat was dry and hurt, he needed water.

“Call you what?” Todoroki tilted his head, causing white to mix with the red over his part. 

“My hero name, seeing as how of this moment, I’m not one.  I don’t . . . deserve it.” he mumbled the last part, but Shouto heard. 

You never did.

Now is not the time, go away. 

He hadn’t realized, but he shook his head again.

“Well that was all I have to discuss with you for now,” Shouto started, “but seriously, if you need to talk, let me know.” Izuku simply nodded before exiting the room.

~~~~~~~~~

Izuku had a dark cloud hanging over his head on his way to the cafeteria. One so dense, it could probably hold its own in a fight against Tokoyami’s Dark Shadow. He was spaced out on his hands, pulling at the skin around his nail beds-a habit he needed to quit, but his mental state being in such a fog he hadn’t even realized he’d been doing it. Blood slowly seeped from his left thumb as a result. 

Obviously not watching where he was going, he bumped into a tall frame, apologizing profusely before looking up to see who it was. 

“A-ah, sorry, Kacchan,” his eyes suddenly glued to his own shoes, his brain scrutinizing every scuff and imperfection on them that were a result of wear.

 “It’s okay, just keep an eye up while you walk.” he replied, before ruffling the green hair in front of him. Izuku froze before peeking up, he’d already figured Kacchan was showing him a slight kindness due to his fuckup, but for him to ruffle his hair?

It both scared and delighted Izuku.

Kacchan gave half a chuckle and a quiet “See ya later nerd.” before continuing his way down the hall. 

When Izuku got down to the cafeteria, he got two waters before sitting down at a table. He wasn’t exactly thrilled to have his name be the one floating on the whispers that started up when he entered the room. Only when he went to open his first water did he realize just how bad his cuticle was bleeding. He sighed, standing up and collecting his waters,  before making his way down to the small infirmary that’s sole purpose was for small “ouchies”. Just the occasional bumps, bruises, and scratches.

 When he got there he gathered up a bandaid, petroleum jelly, and a q-tip before setting them out on the counter, quickly washing and drying his hands before returning to the supplies. He started by opening the jelly, before opening the bandaid to where the pad was revealed, he then took a q-tip and scooped up a small amount of the jelly. Spreading a thin layer of it over the pad for two reasons-the first being if it shifted on his finger at all, doing this prevented the pad from catching on the uplifted skin, because that hurt. The second being that it helped moisturize the nail bed allowing it to heal better. After that, he finished opening the bandaid and applied it to his thumb, closing up the jelly and throwing away the q-tip and bandaid wrapper before putting it away.

 He pulled out his phone to check the time, it was only one o’clock. He didn’t have anything else to do today did he? He checked his email, after filtering through what was work related and what was press trying to get interviews (the ratio of press to work was around 143:4). He read those four emails, one being from the day before. When he got to the most recent one, it was saying that after he finished his briefing with Shouto, he was allowed to return home. So he clocked out, and went home. 

~~~~~~~~

When he got home, he went to his room, acknowledging the black cat that was sitting on the counter with a pat on its head. He dropped his backpack to the floor, immediately sprawling out on the queen mattress.  

After about three minutes of laying there he felt four paws making their way up the back of his leg, before going to his lower back and curling up, purring contentedly. Not long after, he fell asleep.

~~~~~~

When he woke up, it was because a mass of black fur had launched itself from the window sill above his bed directly onto his stomach, which the tiny beast had deemed it’s landing pad.

“Oof!” was the only sound he could give in response. 

Getting up, he headed over to Shadow’s bowls. (Yes, he named the cat Shadow in honor of Tokoyami.) He picked up the food dish, opening that bag of cat food and scooping some out, before replacing the dish in its previous spot. Shadow trotted up happily and little crunches could be heard as a result of kibble against teeth. As if on cue, there was a rumble from his stomach. 

Izuku went to his fridge, not really thinking much about it as he opened it. He was greeted by an empty fridge and its stale air.

“Shit,” he sighed. He was supposed to get groceries after work today. Glancing at the clock, it was only seven. The grocery store should still be open right?  

On his way out the door, he threw on a hoodie and grabbed his phone, keys, and wallet before running a hand through his curls to straighten them out. 

For most of the bus ride he spaced out, a very non-Izuku thing to do, in fact, he almost missed his stop because of it. 

Entering the building he grabbed a small hand-basket to carry around with him as he picked out his items. As soon as he got on the bus, he’d lost any appetite he might have had previously. He knew if he didn’t go grocery shopping now, he’d be living on takeout for a week and he wasn’t sure if his budget was going to be able to handle that.

 At the moment he had this weird numb feeling buzzing about him, it was suffocating. So suffocating he hadn’t heard the angry pomeranian of a man growling at him.

Katsuki POV

“Oi, nerd.” Katsuki started, placing a hand on the shorter one’s shoulder to turn his body towards him.

When he looked into Izuku’s eyes, he immediately knew something was wrong. Instead of his usual bright veridian eyes, they’d turned to a dull pine, glazed over as well. He’d looked into those stupid eyes enough to see a difference. 

Not knowing what had come over him, Katsuki was pushing down the violent urge to punch something, this urge was different from his natural fighting instinct. He was genuinely angry, blood rolling to a boil. 

He was taken aback by the soft, “Oh… hi Kacchan.”

He looked towards Izuku, his eyes less dull now but still slightly glazed, at least he looked a bit more alert.

“What are you doing?” Katsuki knew he was asking a dumb question because the answer was obvious, but he needed to get a conversation going. 

“Grocery shopping.” Izuku mumbled, turning his attention to the bag of rice he’d been holding. 

“Well duh, have you eaten?” Katsuki snapped. 

“No.” 

He took a glance at his basket, noticing it was mostly simple things like ramen, rice, and other simple cheap foods. Stuff you’d expect a college student to live on, not a pro hero.

“You’re coming to my place for dinner.” Katsuki stated, matter of factly, It’d be easy to imagine him placing a hand on his hip as he said it.

“I am?” Izuku looked up confused. 

Katsuki nodded, releasing his hand that he’d previously set on Broccoli’s shoulder, not realizing he’d left it there. 

“Follow me.” he started heading down the aisle to head towards the deli section. 

Half an hour later they were finally finished, somewhere in there Izuku snapped out of his trance, much to Katsuki’s relief. 

Izuku POV

They stood on the bus together, the seats being taken because people were starting to head out to bars and clubs. The bus swayed and the most cliche thing happened, Izuku started to fall forward, only to be caught by a grumbling Kacchan, telling him to be more careful. 

Izuku really hoped the small blush that flitted over his cheeks went unnoticed by Kacchan.

Katsuki POV

Katsuki wasn’t sure if he’d seen right, but he thought he’d seen Izuku’s cheeks turn pink, whether they did or not, he was content with the thought the could of. 

~~~~~~

Izuku POV

Izuku sat patiently on the couch, watching as Kacchan prepped his kitchen.

“May I help?” he asked because it wasn’t the first time he’d been over for a meal. Depending on his mood, Kacchan would or wouldn’t allow Izuku to help him. 

Sometimes saying something along the lines of, “Fine! But so help me god, if you burn something in my kitchen there’ll be hell to pay!”

Other times, “No! It’s my kitchen and you’re my guest! Sit your ass down and wait.” 

He wondered what it would be today.

“Get your ass over here.”

Oh, so he got to help today. That was good, it had been awhile. 

He walked up, carefully watching where Kacchan moved to so he could move out of the way when necessary. It was a fairly small kitchen. 

“Cook the rice.” the blonde said out of nowhere. 

Izuku washed his hands quickly, then filled up a bowl with water and measured out three cups of rice into it. He drained it before putting more in and setting a timer to let it soak for fifteen minutes. 

“Anything else I can help with?”

“Hmm, two eggs, six tablespoons of melted butter, mix it with a fork. Grab a plate and the breading from the bag. Start working on the chicken.” Kacchan mumbled the instructions. 

He moved to follow his demands, scrambling the egg and melted butter together in a bowl, spreading out the bread crumbs on a plate.  He took the raw chicken and submerged it in the egg/butter mix before rolling through the breading. He set the finished one on a plate so they could later pan fry it in Sesame oil. 

When he was pouring out more bread crumbs onto the plate he noticed the colors on the packaging were the same as All Might’s. 

How long had it been? At least a good five years or so since his passing.

"All Might.  Was there ever a time you couldn't save someone?"  A younger version of himself asked.

"Sure. Plenty of times. Right now, somewhere out in the world, someone could be hurting or dying. It sucks, but I'm only human. I can't save people who are out of my reach... That's why I stand tall and smile. I'm the Symbol of Justice. The citizens, heroes, villains, I need to light the way for all of them." the now late hero had responded.

(This is an actual quote from a translation of the manga, it could be a little off but it still conveys the same message.)

I’m so sorry All Might. 

Are you?

Izuku’s throat seized, making it difficult for him to breathe.

I know I’m only human, but I was right there, I caused it. I’m the one who made these people breathe their last breath. What about their families, All Might? Right now, there are people in mourning because of me, when I’m supposed to bring smiles to their faces, not tears, All Might! 

But that’s exactly what you did, isn’t it? How exactly are you “human” as you claim, when you’ve murdered people?

BEEP BEEP BEEP 

Izuku didn’t know his body was capable of jerking this hard. He jumped when the timer went off, forgetting he had even set it. 

He swirls the rice around the bowl before rinsing it and measuring out 5 cups of water and transferring it all to Kacchan’s rice cooker and pressing the start button, then did three more chicken breasts. 

Izuku took the small liberty of glancing at the usually explosive man that was leaning over the pot of simmering curry roux, hyper focused on not adding too much water to it, otherwise he’d have to put more roux powder in the pot to thicken the consistency again. It was a tedious process. 

Izuku noticed the washed vegetables on the counter sitting uncut. 

“I’ll take over this, go cut the veggies and steam them so they soften.”

Kacchan handed the spoon over to the broccoli headed man next to him. Making serious eye contact before turning to the vegetables. 

Katsuki POV

His eyes were starting to glaze over and turn back to the dull pine color again. 

How could he keep them from doing that? It was making him… feel things, and he really didn’t like that. 

Izuku POV

Slowly but surely, the same numb feeling from earlier was creeping up on him.  He didn’t know how to stop it, so he mostly focused on the roux, or at least tried too.

He kept spacing out, occasionally he’d dig the heel of his foot into the top of the other, forcing him to pay attention, that or he’d pinch himself. 

Eventually Kacchan came up behind him with the vegetables in one hand a spoon in the other. An arm on either side of Izuku he scooped carrots and potatoes into the roux. Momentarily ensnaring the smaller of the two between his arms.

“Start frying the chicken?” Izuku mumbled, quietly suggesting it to Kacchan. 

Katsuki POV

He pulled a pan out and poured the oil into it to allow it to start heating up as he brought the chicken breasts over towards the stove. Standing next to Izuku as he waited a little longer till he heard the small sizzle and lowered the heat. 

Using tongs, he lowered two into the oil that popped in response. He took tinfoil and covered the pan.  

Little did he know, Izuku was standing in a battle against himself.

Izuku POV

I just want to lie down and cry. I don’t deserve my hero license, why did they only suspend it? Why did they ever bother with me anyways? Why did All Might choose me? Even now, Mirio is the better choice of the two to inherit One for All.  I should have just remained a quirkless, worthless person.  

Without his knowledge, a tear rolled down his cheek. Opening the dam a bit to where they flowed slowly down his face. 

He faced away from Kacchan as he pulled the curry off the heat and set it down while he went to the cabinet. Pulling out two bowls, two cups, and then grabbing two spoons from a drawer. Setting them out for when the chicken was done, which didn’t take long. 

They soon started setting up their bowls, spooning rice and curry into their own bowls before cutting up their cutlets to place on top. 

Katsuki POV

He took out multiple spoonfuls of curry powder, placing each one on the roux so he could mix it into the curry and rice when he sat down. 

“Hey, midget, you wan-” he cut himself off after looking at the person beside him.

Taking him in, he noticed his eyes were red and puffy, his face wet, and of course, almost as if to add to the effect-he sniffled. 

Something within Katsuki froze. He could deal with crying victims anyday, but a crying nerd? How does he fix this? Pull out the special All Might pajamas from his closet? No- that might make it worse. Hug him? Bakugo Katsuki wasn’t good at hugs, he might mess it up and hurt him.  

How does he stop Izuku from crying and how does he stop his heart from churning in his chest? 

His hand reached out and his thumb wiped under Izuku’s eye, then moving down under his chin to pull Izuku’s face towards his own. 

What is my body doing? Shit, what am I supposed to say now? He down looked at the bleary faced man. 

Then suddenly, there were arms latched around his waist and a face in his chest, a wet spot slowly forming on his shirt. 

“I-it’s a-all my f-f-fault. It’s-it’s-it’s all, it’s all-all, all my fault.” he stuttered into the blonde’s chest. 

The churning only got worse as his blood started to boil, still not knowing how to handle the situation. 

He decided to slowly move his arms around Izuku’s blubbering figure. 

His body relaxed in the slightest when Katsuki wrapped his arms around him, although it didn’t dismiss how tense his body still is. 

“I-I k-k-k-killed those p-people. I killed-I killed those-those people.” His teeth were chattering as he gasped for air and his fingers clasped onto the shirt in front of him. 

Katsuki pulled him closer. 

“I don’t deserve to be All Might’s successor!” he suddenly raised his voice into what could just barely be considered a yell, “I never did!” pained sobs raked through his chest. 

With that, Katsuki froze, he didn’t deserve to be All Might’s successor? Fucking bullshit.

“Shut up.” his voice came out in more of a broken growl than his regular voice.

“Why?!” Izuku raised his voice again, this time looking up at Katsuki.

That broke his heart, looking down at Izuku, with pain laced in every stitch of his expression. His eyes like sea glass, so fragile that they could crack. Tears streaming down his face, his nose snotty.  

Katsuki went to speak, his voice cracking as he asked, “Why?”

He cleared his throat but it didn’t help, his throat was too raw from being on the verge of tears, “Why, you ask?

(Because I am here! No…)

“Because I’ve never met someone more fucking capable than you,  you know that? I’m sure All Might saw it too! Sure you fucked up, we’ve all fucked up. Was your’s a big fuckup? Fuck yeah it was, but you know what? That doesn’t make me love you any less!” He finished, a tear rolling down his cheek. 

Katsuki froze, shocked for a second, but it was already too late for him to take back what he said.  All he could do was watch Izuku’s face as he processed the words from Katsuki. 

“Love me. . .” he paused, before continuing, “You mean like platonically? Or. . . romantically?” 

“What do you think?” Katsuki retorts, voice breaking, his heart had been replaced by a bag of bricks.  

He lifted his chin and looked away from Izuku, trying to hide his anxiety as he waited for a reply.

Katsuki felt fingers on either side of his face, pulling it down so he was face to face with Izuku. Both of them sporting pink across their cheeks. 

It happened, short lived as they broke away to look at the other each asking the other the same question. 

Is this really okay? 

They answered each other, lips coming together, salty tears adding to the experience of their first real kiss. 

“You fucking idiot,” Izuku whispered, “You huge fucking idiot.”

“And you’re one to talk?”

Izuku looked away before noticing the bowls of curry sitting on the counter. “We forgot about the food.” 

“We can heat it up later, we’re having a moment here. Talk to me, please?” Katsuki used a small wobbly bottom lip to put him at an advantage.

Izuku POV

Did, did Kacchan just wobble his lip at me? Oh lord, pray for me.

Katsuki POV

“Well… it’s quite a bit… Can we discuss it while we eat?” he’d given in to the wobbly lip, thank god.

“Of course,” Katsuki nodded reaching out to grab his bowl. He stirred it a bit allowing the cutlet to become submerged by rice and curry. Steam still rising from the rice, “they should still be warm enough, we don’t have to warm them up.”

Izuku followed suit, scooping a spoonful of curry powder into his bowl, following Katsuki to the couch where he turned on the T.V. He lowered the volume to sit at five. Allowing them to have background noise for the potentially awkward silences but not being so loud that they’d struggle to hear each other. 

They took several bites of their respective curries before Izuku started, “What do you want to know?” 

“Everything you can bear to tell me right now, but if it becomes too much let me know. I don’t want to push you.” Katsuki stared firmly, making Izuku aware that there would be consequences if he didn’t listen. 

“O-oh, okay, well, where should I start?”

“How about why you were crying in the kitchen just now, if you can.” Who knew the Bakugo Katsuki could be so accommodating? 

“W-well you see,” Izuku stumbled at first before firming his resolve, “I felt like I let All Might down. That I shouldn’t have become his successor, that of me and Mirio even now he’s still the better option.  And for me? Well, I’d probably be better off quirkless and worthless.” 

That last sentence smacked Katsuki repeatedly in the face, with a metal bat, and of course he felt as though he deserved it. I mean, where else would Izuku have chosen those two specific words from?

Izuku continued, “ And I know I’m only human but Kacchan, my goal was to bring smiles to peoples faces as a hero. Now I’ve brought not only death to these families but tears to their faces! How am I supposed to fix that? I can’t revive the dead or give orphaned kids new parents! I just don’t know how I’m going to fix all of this Kacchan.” 

Hey, that bag of bricks, also called your heart Katsuki, I think someone dropped a cartoon anvil on it. It’s still just as heavy but convenient in terms of size. 

Just as Katsuki is about to start, Izuku says one last thing, “I just, have been holding onto feelings like that for the past two days. I didn’t really think I would break this soon, I’ve held onto similar things longer. I’m sorry for putting you in this situation.” 

‘Sorry for- sorry for putting you in this situation?’ Ooh boy, was Katsuki going to (gently) let him fucking have it.

“Don’t be sorry, don’t you ever be fucking sorry for things beyond your control.” 

Throwing his arm around Izuku, he ruffled his hair again and says, “Holding everything in doesn’t help, ya know.” 

(Say it louder for the people in the back Bakuboi.)

Izuku leans into his side and responds, I’ll keep that in mind.” 

No Specific POV

The two finished their curry before curling up on the couch together to watch T.V. In the end though, it was the T.V. that wound up watching them sleep. Noise playing softly and the screen’s light hitting their faces gently.

That’s all folks! The underlined parts strewn in there were me, I couldn’t help myself, tbh if I didn’t try to hold back there’d be at least five more. Ehehehe don’t hate me please?

[thecursedspinner]

A Rose by any other name...

@unsure-sincerity

For Rose French, being a librarian was her entire life. For as long as she could remember, she has been caretaker and one and only librarian of Storybrooke Free Public Library. All her days were spent immersed in the varied and colorful book available to her; and in encouraging any Storybrooke resident who passes through the doorway to do the same, and in maintaining the order and security of a sacred institution.

The only place Rose ever took steps other the library as her apartment upstairs and occasionally the clock tower. She did not date (despite the few and far between offers), and she did not go out with friends. She had no real friends aside from her father and Sister Lucia. She did not go to Granny’s or any other restaurant during her lunch breaks, or for any dinners. She did not peruse any of the stores or boutiques on Storybrooke’s main street, not even the grocery store. She did not go to the theater or club. She did not attend the yearly festivals or occasional concerts. She did not go for walks in the woods, or even to the park.

Sometimes Rose would muse the possibility of taking a book to the park and reading on the bench, letting the sounds of birds and windblown trees and other people accompany the written word. But these or any other such musing would lead to a shot of paralyzing anxiety, and sometimes panic attack, and for a million and one reason not to shot through her mind.

Its better to not torcher herself thinking of things her mind would not allow her to do. Rose reminded herself of all the things she did have. She had all the books she could want (book she could forget and reread). A fulfilling job in a library that was clean, well lit, and well stocked. A comfortable apartment. A father and friend who would visit almost daily. And pleasant (if not often stimulating) conversations with people once they were in the library. Things could be a lot worse for her. There was no point to wanting more. If she wanted adventure, she could read about it.

On an morning in late October, while Rose was typing classification codes that would soon be taped to the spines of recently donated books, she was allowing herself to muse about the clock that constituted the tower of her library. Some days ago she was startled from her rereading of Brighton Rock when bangs come from over head. Without hesitation (which was most unusual for her) she followed the sound. Taking quick steps up the stairs, past the hallway to her apartment door, and up to the clock tower. Rose blinked, not quite believing her eyes, at the backward face. Its hands had moved, drastically. It said it was 9 o'clock. Not that 9 o'clock is an unheard of time, but for as long as she could remember, the town clock had always been in the position of 8:15. Despite the blue moon comment from a library visitor Rose never attempted to fix the town clock, never thought about it. What truly perplexed Rose in the days past was the brief but unforgettable exhilaration she felt at the sight of that 9 o'clock. She was unused to feeling anything of that intensity outside of a panic attack, and could not figure out what that could mean for her.

Her musings were cut short as someone entered the library. It was one of the citizens who would come regularly to the Library, and one was interested in sharing with Rose their thought on the books they were returning and on what books they might check out next. There was conversation, exploration, checkout, and showing the new books that should be shelved soon. Books in hand, Rose regular enviably opened the door to leave, and Rose moved behind the circulation desk to finished typing in the Dewey decimal system, calling out “Have a nice day, see you next week.”

Mr. Gold was arguably the most feared man in all of Storybrooke. He owned a pawn shop. He knew his way around the law, enough that he was a licensed defense attorney. He had an employee, who some called a henchman, who was perhaps the tallest person in town, and was certainly rather intimidating, especially given that he rarely talked, only doing so when necessary. But perhaps the scariest thing about Mr. Gold was the fact that he owned most of the town. He collected rent from almost everyone, and people feared him because he wasn’t tolerant of late or nonexistent payments. He insisted in getting paid, and getting paid on time, and for some reason that seemed to terrify people. Either that or it was because he was a lawyer. For some reason people seemed to have an irrational hatred of lawyers.

Still, he didn’t own the entire town, despite what some people might say. And as such there were some places he just hadn’t been to. One of those was the library. It wasn’t that he didn’t like reading, because he did. But he had several books in the shop, not to mention the ones he had piled up back in his too big house. So there really had been no need for him to enter the library. Especially now that the savior had come to town and he had his memories back. There was so much to do in order to make sure the curse would break. He didn’t have time for reading. And really, being in a building dedicated entirely to books would only remind him of his long dead True Love.

That was what he’d thought, at least. But on this particular day, he was walking past the library when he heard a voice drifting out of the library after one of its patrons. He froze in place, nearly causing the man to walk into him, as he stared into the building. He didn’t think it was possible, but then no one had a voice quite like hers. She had an accent he wouldn’t soon forget, and that was it. So either he was hallucinating or….

There was only one way to find out. He stepped into the library, eyes searching the place to see if it could really be true. He soon saw her, standing behind the circulation desk, and he was frozen in place yet again as he stared, tears starting to form in his eyes. It was her, it was really her. She’d been alive all this time. She’d been here, in this library for the past few decades, and he’d walked by almost every day and never once ran into her.

He nearly said her name, but choked it back. She wouldn’t remember him. She was cursed. Instead he just slowly approached the desk, trying to keep himself under control. He didn’t want to scare her, or act too weird. He wanted her to like him after all. “Hello,” he greeted, trying to keep himself from sounding like a teen going through puberty. “I… I’m Mr. Gold,” he said his name, still watching her, as if she’d vanish if he looked away for even a moment. “You um… wouldn’t happen to have any books about antiques, would you?” he asked, making up a reason for why he was here while also insuring that she’d have to talk to him, so he could hear her voice again and know that it really was her, she really was alive and well.

[secondscratch17]

weird asks that say a lot

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? All of them. I drink tea in coffee mugs and teacups. I love drinking wine. I like that I can recycle soda cans

2. chocolate bars or lollipops? chocolate

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? bubblegum if the flavor lasts long

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? the stereotypical quiet, obedient, smart, goody-two-shoes kid

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? somehow I like the aesthetic from soda bottles

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? hONESTLY I can dO ALL OF THE ABOVE in the span of days. Went to work one day wearing beach-y clothes for spirit day. Returned to pick up a friend to go see a metal concert in VERY metal concert attire. I own short, sweet summery floral dresses and gothic dresses, too

7. earbuds or headphones? Earbuds, they allow me to be more mobile

8. movies or tv shows? movies

9. favorite smell in the summer? Fresh cut grass. The smell of the ocean. Churros at the fair

10. game you were best at in p.e.? Soccer, obvs. Somehow would always last until the end of the game in dodgeball tho because I was small and no one could hit me

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? Cereal

12. name of your favorite playlist? Don’t have one. 

13. lanyard or key ring?  Key ring

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? Smarties!

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? I remember re-reading Holes over and over just to make my book reports easier since I knew the boo so well. The Kite Runner was phenomenal and unforgettable

16. most comfortable position to sit in? idk?? I really can’t sit still in one position for too long

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? Currently my hiking/outdoorsy shoes. Also my black Nikes that I play pickup in and wear to the gym

18. ideal weather? Sunny and 65. Maybe one or two clouds. The tiniest of faint breezes to cool me down. 

19. sleeping position? Any I can get into and fall asleep in quickly

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? Laptop. I can edit easier.

21. obsession from childhood? Probably any cheesy show on Animal Planet. The Most Extreme, Meerkat Manor, Big Cat Diary, etc

22. role model? I have a lot of different ones. Role models for athletics, role models for career and ambition choices, artistic role models...can’t pick just one

23. strange habits? Spelling words with the tips of my fingers

24. favorite crystal? Aquamarine

25. first song you remember hearing? how in the FUCK am I supposed to remember that. I do remember my parents playing The Beatles for me when I was a toddler

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? Soccer! (futbol) 

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? Sledding, making hot chocolate, or playing indoor soccer haha

28. five songs to describe you? Who I am Hates Who I’ve Been by Relient K, Proud by the Icarus Account, Land of the Dead by Voltaire, Always Leaving by Mayday Parade, Wavin’ Flag by K’naan

29. best way to bond with you? Listening to my favorite music with me or watching the US Women’s national soccer team with me

30. places that you find sacred? Belfast, Maine. Gold Camp Road. Newport Beach

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? Tight jeans with holes in them, fishnets, and a crop top

32. top five favorite vines? Vines still exist?

33. most used phrase in your phone? “tbh”

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? O O O O REILLYYYYYY’S autoparts

35. average time you fall asleep? around 9

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? I don’t remember

37. suitcase or duffel bag? suitcase

38. lemonade or tea? Is it warm outside? Lemonade. Is it cold outside? tea

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? PIE!

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? Zombie hunting or my professor cutting lab a half an hour short to go look at some Cedar waxwings

41. last person you texted? I think it was Robert

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? Pants pockets

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? Jean jacket

44. favorite scent for soap? Anything fruity

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? Fantasy. It depends on how good the sci-fi movie is

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? as little as possible lmao

47. favorite type of cheese? Parmesan

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? A raspberry

49. what saying or quote do you live by? A great amount of good is always evened out by a great amount of bad

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? Honestly Daniel knew how to make me laugh better than anyone. There are a couple of memories with him that I don’t remember entirely but I know that I ended up cry-laughing so hard that my head hurt. There was a time during my orientation camping trip when a bunch of us were playing ultimate Frisbee, and Jesse went to catch the frisbee in the most perfectly lateral horizontal position and the expression of focus just frozen on his face had me laughing so hard that I couldn’t see

51. current stresses? Sam. Jobs that I can apply for starting in May of 2020. Sam. STUDENT LOANS. Bills. Car payments. Wondering how fucked up my car has gotten since I’ve lived here on this ranch. Sam. 

52. favorite font? Anything that looks fancy and sarcastic

53. what is the current state of your hands? Need to be washed. 

54. what did you learn from your first job? The world is cruel and bad things happen without warning

55. favorite fairy tale? Uh....the Pied Piper?

56. favorite tradition? when my family visits for Christmas, eating lots of traditional Chinese food with them

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? Heartbreak. Staggering rejection from the field I majored in. Probably a lot of body image struggles in there as well

58. four talents you’re proud of having? Writing, futbol, adaptability, flexibility. I think the last two are just traits but I don’t have a lot of talents I can invest in

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? Let’s make like a baby and head out

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? No idea

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? Though we are far apart, our spirits share the same earth and the same sky

62. seven characters you relate to? Bilbo Baggins from The Hobbit, Data from The Goonies, Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter, Eliza Thornberry from The Wild Thornberries, Raven from Teen Titans, Isaac from Teen Wolf

63. five songs that would play in your club? ANYTHING by Within Temptation. I wouldn’t be a good club owner. The catchy and pump-up songs from Hamilton.

64. favorite website from your childhood? Wasn’t allowed much computer time. I was allowed to visit educational sites and occasionally the Disney site

65. any permanent scars? some self-harm scars. Probably the one on my right leg that I got from CO parks and wildlife. I stepped on a barbed wire fence that had been plastered to the ground, but the metal sprang up when I stepped on it and ripped through my skin

66. favorite flower(s)? Plumerias

67. good luck charms? I’m not sure if I have any. 

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? earthworm flavor from Bertie Bott’s every flavor beans

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? uh...Something about not being able to spray silly string on Halloween in Hollywood

70. left or right handed? Right handed

71. least favorite pattern? wtf

72. worst subject? anything math related, I really struggled in GIS.

73. favorite weird flavor combo? I...have no idea

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? 2. I’m a baby

75. when did you lose your first tooth? I was 6

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? chips and fries

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? a succulent

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? sushi from a grocery store, the quality can surprise you

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? Both are terrible

80. earth tones or jewel tones? Jewel tones

81. fireflies or lightning bugs? I hate bugs

82. pc or console? PC

83. writing or drawing? Writing, I’m terrible at drawing

84. podcasts or talk radio? Not into either

84. barbie or polly pocket? I had both

85. fairy tales or mythology? God!!!! Like hearing about both but mythology I guess

86. cookies or cupcakes? Cookies

87. your greatest fear? Being forgotten. I also have a terrible, horrible fear of drowning

88. your greatest wish? In the times I’ve struggled I often find myself wishing for peace. Not only for myself, but for others to easily feel peace with everyone else

89. who would you put before everyone else? Sierra

90. luckiest mistake? Mistake? There’s been lucky accidents but I don’t think any of my mistakes have been lucky

91. boxes or bags? It depends on what I’m packing and where I’m going

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? Sunlight

93. nicknames? T, Tear, Tear-tear, T-Dog, Miss T..a few of my recent favorites from soccer: Ronaldinha and Thierry Chun

94. favorite season? Fall! Shit, especially in New England

95. favorite app on your phone? I don’t know

96. desktop background? A picture of a simple dock leading out to sea

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? My parents’ and brother’s

98. favorite historical era? Victorian era, for sure

[faean]

Adamance of a Dragon

Made in collaboration with @i-am-here-with-fanfic.

Rating: T+; This chapter is actually pretty tame.

Word Length: 1,971

Chapter 2- Friendly Uh... Friends?

           The heterochromatic male (slightly) waved his free hand reassuringly, the other holding a bag of, presumably, groceries as he spoke. “It’s all right, it was my fault for not paying attention.” His voice was steady and calm, but he sounded disinterested, stating everything. “As long as you aren’t like those girls who ‘accidentally’ bump into me, you are forgiven.”

           I had noticed that Aaron had a slight blush, likely out of secondhand embarrassment, as the stranger gave his apology. However, I was intrigued and what he had meant about others bumping into him intentionally.

           “Truly, do others do that? How peculiar must one be for one to purposely act so childishly…?” I inquire, cocking my head and trilling in curiosity.

           He nods, scrunching his brows in confusion at the sound I made, if only for a second. “The girls attempt to flirt with me, and I am left no choice but to be rude to get them to stop; one can lead to a group very quickly.” He sighs as he finishes, a tired look in his eyes.

           In the few moments the three of us had spoken, I realized that we were standing near a grocery store, which confirmed my suspicions as to what was in the other male’s bag. He had admitted that he may be to blame as he believed he could be clumsy, and Aaron joined in.

           After apologizing for interrupting, he added, “You shouldn’t feel bad about being clumsy, I sometimes bump into old ladies.” A sheepish grin spread across Aaron’s face as he spoke, and the corners of the other male’s lips turned up ever so slightly.

           With our initial conversation now done, Aaron began introductions (which slipped my mind, embarrassingly enough). Extending his hand, he kindly began. “I’m Aar-… Right, I’m Granchester Aaron, and this is my best friend, Nadal Faian. We recently moved here from the States.”

           “Todoroki Shouto. Welcome to Musutafu.” Todoroki plainly said, shaking our hands in turn. “Are you two planning on taking the U.A. entrance exam?”

           Nodding, Aaron answered quite excitedly. “Yep! I’m hoping to get into the general course, since my quirk isn’t really flashy. Faian’s taking it out of curiosity and for extra training. He got in on recommendation.”

           A wide grin spread across my face as I confirmed Aaron’s statement. Unfortunately, evening fell, and the sun began to disappear behind the towering structures of the city. Checking the time, Aaron realized he had to head home as Aria needs him to help with dinner. Saying our goodbyes, he began the walk to the station to take a train home. With Todoroki and I left alone, I offered to help him carry the groceries, considering I had little else to do.

           “It’s alright, Nadal, I just got some ingredients to make soba. You’re welcome to join me; my sister won’t be home for some time and… I could use the company.” He spoke genuinely, despite his lack of expression. Guess I was getting through to him.

           I accepted the offer and we began walking, presumably to his house. Along the way, he asked me about my quirk, and I must admit, I may have been overexcited and began rambling. His stoic expression only offered the slightest hints of expression, usually a slight eyebrow raise in question or a small nod in acknowledgment. His interest was piqued (I think) when I began to explain how I could channel magic through my body; although I wasn’t able to share the more intimate knowledge of my quirk, mostly just secrets I can only share with those part of my hoard (it’s part of my dragon nature).

           By the time I finally reeled myself and stopped, we had arrived at his house. Inviting me inside, I followed closely behind him, somewhat awkwardly as the house was… Well, it was comfortable, and his family certainly must be wealthy from how well furnished everything was, but it didn’t feel like a home. I had to suppress some of my draconic senses from the overwhelming stench of frustration, like it was from a middle-aged man undergoing a midlife crisis.

           Fortunately, Todoroki took no notice of my initial recoil. He led me into the kitchen, and I had to restrain myself from fawning over the set-up. It wasn’t a dream kitchen, but I was jealous, nonetheless. Once in the kitchen, Todoroki began setting out the ingredients he had bought, and started a conversation.

           “Your quirk is quite fascinating, Nadal, but I would advise you to keep from rambling to just anyone. You never know who would try to use it against you, whether they’re capable of it or not.”

           I flashed a small smile as I responded. “Thank you, Todoroki, but I have had my fair share of scuffles back in the States. Also, are you certain it is not of any trouble for me to dine with you? I do not wish to impose, especially with how brief we have known each other.”

           “Don’t worry, you’re what I can consider… a friend. Normally people would treat me differently, but not you or Granchester. The two of you were kind, and for that, I thank you.” He turned towards me amidst his sorting and had the faintest of smiles.

           A small blush dusted my cheeks from his calling me a friend. I could not help but smile widely, and I started to purr slightly. Attempting to keep the conversation going, I inquired about his family, but instantly regretted it. Todoroki tensed, his eyes burning with hate and a look of disgust upon his face. I profusely apologized, saying it wasn’t in my place to ask and that I would do what I must to make it up to him.

           He just shook his head, hesitantly speaking. “No… It’s okay, you didn’t know. My old man is the #2 Pro Hero, Endeavor.” He turned back towards his soba and began preparing it, chopping vegetables and mixing the sauce to accompany it. “I’d rather not continue talking about him. It’d just add to his ego.” Every word he spoke about his father was laced with venom.

           I looked down, saddened by the trouble I caused. Wanting to make things better, I moved to help Todoroki in the kitchen, careful not mess up any of his appliances.

           “If I may ask, what is your quirk? You do not have to answer if I am overstepping my bounds.” I spoke softly, hoping to keep from upsetting him again.

           “Most people call it Half-Cold, Half-Hot. I can create fire and ice, but I prefer to fight with ice.” He answered, his tense posture gradually melting away. “It’s pretty strong, and it’s how I got into U.A on recommendations. Although, I won’t be taking the exam for practice, like you are.”

           My attention shifted from the pot on the stove to Todoroki at the reveal of the name of his quirk. “Was that the best name for it? I suppose naming quirks would follow a different pattern than back in the States. Sometimes, we rename our quirk when we get our license to make it official, as opposed to whatever it was dubbed when we were younger. At least, where I grew up that is what we did. The name is often symbolic and has a deeper meaning.”

           Todoroki did the same as I had when I implied I had a hero license, turning towards me with a quizzical look. “You already have your license?”

           “Well, I took a load of advanced courses and special programs, with the help of Aaron’s mom, and I was able to join an agency that supported gifted individuals; whether they had quirks or not. As long as I operated near other heroes, or was paired with someone else in the agency, I was allowed my license.” I began to finish making the soba as Todoroki started getting out dishes to set the table.

           Continuing with my longwinded tale… “However, after moving, many of the programs I participated in had no equivalent in Japan, and my license was temporarily suspended. I can still invoke it in emergencies, but as far as most are concerned, I am just another regular citizen; hence my application to U.A.”

           With my explanation now done, the soba was soon to follow. I helped with plating the dish, and Todoroki and I moved to the table. Unfortunately, my hand brushed against the stove, and it went haywire. A heavy sigh escaped my lips as I gave a quick apology to Todoroki. I was able to fix it, having dealt with my magic interfering with machinery before.

           That minor inconvenience now behind us, we made our way to the table, and I mirrored Todoroki’s actions, trying to hide the fact that I was not versed in the different culture. I was also silently reprimanding myself for not taking the time to practice and learn, like Aaron had. Unfortunately, he took notice. Fortunately, he taught me how to properly sit and other normal conventions for a meal.

           Enjoying the cold soba, Todoroki continued sharing on the different traditions and appropriate behaviors for residents in Japan. Thankfully, most mannerisms were rather similar, and as Musutafu is home to the top hero academy, I had no need to hide my quirk mutations if need be. Although, it would still be some time until I do so voluntarily.

           We continued talking, finishing the snack and washing the dishes. I had only known Todoroki for a couple hours and I honestly quite liked him. We had even planned a training day together before the exam.

           Speaking of training, I had to get home and plan some activities for Aaron so he could improve his quirk. As Todoroki walked me out, his sister (I assumed, correctly) was just arriving from work.

           Bearing a small smile, Todoroki greeted his sister. “Welcome back, Fuyumi. This is my new friend, Nadal Faian. He recently moved here from the States.”

           His sister was kind, her smile warm and almost motherly. “Hello Nadal, I’m Shouto’s older sister, Todoroki Fuyumi. It’s nice to meet a friend of his.”

           Todoroki appeared more physically relaxed with his sister here. To be fair, I also felt more relaxed, and I wished I could stay a little longer, but I had to get home. And I did have to finish settling in, considering I had not fully furnished my new house. Oh, and I was supposed to train with Aaron tomorrow. And got to the store. And… Oh gods, I have so much to do in just two weeks.

           “I was just walking Nadal out, he said he needed to get home.” Todoroki’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

           His sister looked slightly disappointed. “Aw, and I had just got here. Well, next time tell me when you bring someone over, silly. I’d love to know more about your friends.” She playfully hit him on the shoulder with a textbook (I suppose she’s a teacher). Turning towards me, she continued, “I’m sad to see you go, Nadal. My brother seems genuinely happy to have you over. Feel free to visit again.” Her warm smile never once faltered.

           “Of course, thank you for the offer.” I step out the door, waving goodbye. “Farewell, I had lovely time! Until the exam!”

           With that, I walked towards the street, unsealing and unfurling my wings to take flight. As I was soaring the sky, I began thinking out loud. “Ah, I certainly had a wondrous time. I should tell Aaron, he would be delighted to know I was no longer fumbling about, socially speaking.”

           I landed in my backyard, entering my house and stretching as I made my way to my bedroom. Sitting at my desk, I get to work for tomorrow.

           “I hope Aaron will be ready. This is going to be fun.”

Second chapter now complete. I was supposed to post Tuesday, but I am nearing finals and am being swamped in work. I will try to update this coming Tuesday.

Beta Reader, Collaborator, Owner of Aria and Aaron Granchester, and Creator of the Illegitimate Son storyline- @i-am-here-with-fanfic.

PS- Requests will remain open for a few more days. If my quota is not reached, well... @yarabi99 knows what happens when I am left to my devices.

[stardust-and-blades]

Keith’s First Halloween

This is for the voltron games I’m participating in! Team: Red Lion Round: 1 Challenge: 3 with Shiro, Keith, and Adam

Summary: After finding out Keith hasn’t celebrated Halloween since the death of his father, Shiro and Adam invite him for some pumpkin carving and caramel apples! ----------------------------------

“Where are we going?”

“You’ll see.”

“You’re kidnapping me. You’re kidnapping me and going to sell my organs on the black market, aren’t you?”

Shiro barks out a laugh, veering away from a slowing car ahead of them, but maintained hands on the wheel. Shiro is great at flying, but sometimes Keith questions how he got his license with all the risks he takes. “Patience yields focus, Keith. Relax, it is nothing bad.”

Keith quirks an eyebrow, but nonetheless allowed Shiro to take him to God knows where. Since his arrival at the garrison, he has been living there rather than the group home. His roommate wasn’t particularly fond of him, what with his bad temper and representation for being a discipline case. But it was better than where he was, an invisible boy unable to find a home. Unable to be seen by a family as worthy. The only person who ever truly loved him has left the land of the living, leaving Keith wishing the fire never occurred. That his father never ran back into the building, though he knew it was a selfish wish. A child is alive today because of him. As much as Keith wanted to keep his father, at least he died a hero. His hero.

Shiro glances at Keith, the sixteen year old looking out onto the road with a far off gaze. He is leaning on his right, arm propped up on the arm rest and a fist to his cheek. His usual stance when he is deep in thought. 

He didn’t say anything, but he knew what Keith was thinking. Most likely his father, maybe his future. It was only recently that Shiro found out Keith hasn’t celebrated halloween for awhile, what with the death of his father severely impacting his joy in holidays meant to spend with family or friends. Keith’s only family passed away, and as far as Shiro knows, he hasn’t been able to make any friends. Students and teachers of the school are weary of him. They believe he represents nothing but trouble, and the higher officials at the garrison severely question Shiro’s judgement. Iverson going so far as to say he made a mistake by bringing Mr. Hotshot to the school. 

What they didn’t understand was he is a kid. A child who felt abandoned and dysfunctional. 

And every kid deserves to have some happiness in their life, at the very least.

So, Shiro talked Adam over having Keith over, explaining his background and how excellent he is in the garrison flight simulator. Adam was skeptical at first--not of Keith being a good kid--but of him willingly coming over. Shiro has spent more time with him than Adam, who unfortunately had no classes with him and only passed by the kid every now and then, greeting them on sight and Keith waving silently as a means of respect. 

Despite Adam’s opinions, Shiro has a gut feeling this is what Keith needs. And who knows, maybe he will take a liking to Adam and the treats he has in store. --------

As they approach the house, Keith turns to him, confused.

“Um, is this your house?”

“Yup.”

“Uh...” He looks around, waiting for Shiro to continue, but received nothing. “What are we doing here?”

“We,” Shiro begins, reaching behind his seat and grabbing some plastic bags full of groceries he picked up earlier. “Are going to prepare for Halloween.”

Keith looks uncomfortable. “I don’t really celebrate halloween. Or any of the holidays, for that matter.”

“I’m aware,” Shiro said, leveling him with a kind look. “You mentioned it when we had lunch the other day. But we need a helping hand with the pumpkins.”

“We?”

“Yeah, me and Adam. He’s my--er--He’s my boyfriend.” Shiro can feel a blush creep on his cheeks. He neglected to tell Keith of his and Adam’s actual relationship. It wasn’t that he was ashamed, it’s just he totally spaced on the little tidbit. So much for making the kid less awkward.

Keith doesn’t blink, cocking his head to the side. “Professor Adam? Doesn’t he hate me along with the other instructors? You’re getting serious flack for getting me into the school.”

He shakes his head. “Nope. In fact, he was more concerned on if you would show. I told him about you. He is looking forward to getting to know you as both a pilot and person.”

“I still don’t think this is a good idea. You should just--”

“Nope!” Shiro interrupts, snatching a pumpkin in the back and plopping it on Keith’s lap. “You’re a kid, and kids should be having fun. Not brooding in their room at night while halloween is just around the corner.”

“I don’t brood.” Keith exclaims, his lip jutting out in a pout.

“Right, and I have white hair.” Shiro said, sarcastic. “Come on, up and at ‘em. And don’t even think about stealing the car. I have the keys wrapped around my fingers.”

------------------

It was a little awkward, Shiro admitted. As Keith lugged the largest pumpkin Shiro gave him and entered the house, Adam emerged from the kitchen to greet the two, kissing Shiro on the cheek. He smiled down at Keith, introducing himself and holding out a hand to the tiny boy. There was a moment of silence, Keith not used to friendliness outside of Shiro. He half expected Adam to pull Shiro aside, meaning to be out of ear shot so he could chastise Shiro for bringing the “problem” child in their home. But he just gazed down at Keith, soft brown eyes never breaking from the starstruck indigo. Not until his expression morphed into that of discomfort, not sure what to do since Keith wasn’t responding in any way.

As he lowered his hand, Keith shifted the pumpkin to one arm and on his hip, carefully reaching out to grasp Adam’s hand.

“It’s nice to meet you, sir. I’m Keith.”

Adam smiles, toothy and proud. “Please, call me Adam. I’m not one for formalities.” He motions to where the kitchen is. “Come along, I was getting the newspaper ready for the pumpkin carving.”

They followed Adam, Shiro’s boyfriend asking Keith many questions as they prepared and began to pumpkin carve. He stuck to his interests, avoiding any semblance of questions having to do with Keith’s past. Shiro had already informed him of the touchy subject and to approach it if Keith chose to open up. To which, he eventually did, mentioning how his dad was never good at carving pumpkins and sometimes burned the seeds when they would roast them for a horror night. It was a small tidbit he lent; a sliver of his childlike, nostalgic side, void of sadness and regret. As Adam asked if he was good at carving pumpkins, Keith gave a small smile and said he was, sometimes using the knife his father gave him. Shiro watched the two interact, a fond and loving smile gracing his lips as he forgot about his pumpkin and focused more on the two bonding.

Shiro hadn’t seen such a big smile since he taught Keith how to land the hoverbike perfectly from jumping off a cliff in the desert. His eyebrows raised, eyes dancing in the florescent lighting, galaxies and mirth erasing the secret darkness he held whenever he is seen. The child Shiro encountered in the classroom, the boy who sadly looked out the window and strayed from the other children, not bothering to line up for the simulator, was overtook by a sense of peace. Meanwhile Adam, who expressed anxiety over the young teen hating Shiro’s idea, ruffles the raven haired boy’s locks and joked about how Shiro does that all the time, eliciting a squawk from Shiro. 

“I burned them once! Once, Adam!”

“Once was enough to make sure you never touch an oven again.” He jokes, laughing as Shiro grumbled about being betrayed by his own lover.

Adam leans towards Keith, a hand coming to partially cover his mouth as if to tell him a secret. “He may be a pro at flying now, but he crashed the simulator three times in one go in our cadet days.”

“Don’t poison his mind with lies!”

“It isn’t a lie when history is true.” Adam counters, grinning. 

“Oooooo he got you there.” Keith joined. Shiro shook his head, dipping his hand in the orange fruit and flicking it on Keith’s nose.

“Respect your elders, kid.”

“You’re 24.” Adam stated, Keith wiping his nose on his sleeve and chucking a large pile of orange goop at Shiro. Suddenly the three were engaged in an all out pumpkin guts fight, streamers of fruit coating the kitchen and their clothes. they were all laughing, Keith and Adam teamed up against Shiro as they hid behind the table, whispering strategies as Shiro gunned for another chunk of seeds and squash. Before he could land a hit, he is pummeled by two flying chunky globs, one hitting his chest and the other his neck. He chucked the stash in his hand, landing a hit on Keith’s tiny head. The atmosphere, so used to the voices of two, range with the laughter of three. They ran around the small kitchen, their pumpkin war ending only when they ran out of fuel from the three pumpkins Shiro brought home.

They laid on the floor, tired from their food fight but letting out a couple of giggles every now and then. Shiro noted how the two were smiling so wide, he couldn’t help but smile himself. Yes, this is what Keith needed. A sense of being a kid. A sense of having a family, whether it was a mother and father, or a brother figure and his boyfriend. Keith’s walls were up, pure stone covering the tenderness of his bruised heart. But now, they were down. Keith’s heart was wide open, the burden of his past forgotten and filled with glee he hadn’t felt in years.

Adam stood up and began to clean up, announcing they will make some candy apples after they all scrubbed the place clean. Keith didn’t put up a fight, he really didn’t mind.  He was chivalrous in his cleaning, asking Adam and Shiro if he missed any places. 

He is a good kid. His problem lies in trusting others, in trusting the human race. But when he ignores the darkness of humanity, he is a quiet teen who wants to have fun and acknowledges when there is chores to be done. 

He isn’t a problem child. He just needs to be given a chance.

The night ended with Keith curled up in the couch, a half eaten caramel apple on the coffee table in their living room. Shiro gingerly lifted his head to place a plump pillow under his dark head, and Adam covered him in a red fleece blanket he had stashed in a closet. Tiny snores escaped Keith’s nose, his face in a state of peace and content.

Shiro doesn’t regret giving him a second chance in the least.

[comeandreadawhile]

Congrats, It’s a Spider-Boy

Marvel MCU

3,735 Words

While trying to help explain electrophoresis, Tony and Peter don’t quite get the results they’d expected to receive.

Pepper had, like most nights recently, been thankful for having bought enough groceries to prep another batch of the recipe used for dinner.  While teenagers were known to be voracious eaters, she was quite sure very few boys in the world found themselves as in need of calories as Peter.  She enjoyed having him and his aunt over for dinner, or any meal really, and seeing Peter eat his fill.  

She took another bite of her own food while thinking back to how livid Tony had been when told the boy had nearly fainted at eight stories up because Peter had been too busy to grab either breakfast or lunch that day.  Pepper also recalled calling May Parker in her own fit of concern following being informed of Peter’s hazardous decision to still patrol, and quite quickly the boy found himself with a snack pouch in his suit.  

Looking back up to see the two heroes discussing Peter’s day, special attention being awarded to his advanced biology class, she couldn’t help a small smile that tugged at her lips.  The two could’ve been related with how similar they looked; while Peter’s hair may have been lighter by a shade, it still reminded her of how Tony’s looked on the days he forewent any styling products.  She could pinpoint similarities in the sharp edges and rounder curves of their faces; most similar were the brown eyes.  

Peter’s were the same earthy shade of brown as Tony’s, but as she’d been told, the boy had inherited his eyes and their shape from his mother, Mary.  Glancing over to where May was also quietly enjoying her food and the boys’ banter, Pepper could see the fondness in her eyes for her nephew.  She could agree; it was hard not to be enamored with such a sweet kid.  As Peter rattled on about what his class had been learning in way of DNA and its analysis, she could see the positive effect the boy had had on Tony’s mood just from how the billionaire looked at him.  Pepper realized she must’ve been spacing out when May’s voice broke through her thoughts and the boys’ conversation.

“What does that big science word mean, exactly?” it was evident from her grin that May didn’t take any offense to being left out of the conversation, but Peter’s cheeks and ears turned pink anyway.  

“Something to do with electricity?  We aren’t going over it until Tuesday so I don’t really know.”

Tony took a sip of water before chiming in, “Electrophoresis basically means ‘stick this sample in some gel, electrocute it, and it’ll break up the proteins and such so new mothers and the police can find out who did what’.”  

Peter nodded, though looking curious of the process before adding on, “Yup, what he said.  Exactly that.” His statement received a snort from Tony.  

“I can have a machine delivered in a couple days; you can come back up and I’ll show you how it works and how to read the bands somewhat accurately.”  Peter’s entire being seemed to light up at the proposal, and the vigorous nod he gave was all the answer Tony seemed to need before telling F.R.I.D.A.Y. to place an express order.  Both women chuckled and shook their heads fondly before turning their attention back to their plates.  

 Happy had been less than pleased where upon delivering Peter to the lab a few days later he’d also been asked for a small blood sample.  ‘For science, of course,’ he mocked, all the while still taking the lancet and Tony’s offer of the rest of the day off.  

Peter did homework while waiting for Tony to finish prepping the samples for the smaller-than-expected machine on the next table over (while still explaining what he was doing), all the while finding some humor in his and Tony’s matching racecar Band-Aids on their fingers; he didn’t fail to point out when given the bandage that ‘of course Tony Stark has racecar Band-Aids’.  “Why not enjoy the small things in life like fun Band-Aids?” Tony had responded, to which Peter could only nod his assent.  

At the sound of something on the machine shutting, Peter perked up to see Tony pressing some button and stepping away from the table.

“And now we wait.”

Peter cocked his head to the side, “So why did we have Happy give us a sample?”

Tony clapped his hands together, “Imagine, if you will my little Spiderling, our dear Mr. Hogan finds a limited edition box set of every season of Downton Abbey in his local second-hand store,” Tony pauses to allow Peter to let out a snort.  “Now, for some reason he has none of the salary he earns and cannot simply leave this treasure for someone else to have, so he takes it.  Upon making a mad dash for the exit because an employee saw him, he crashes through the automatic door before it fully opens and glass goes everywhere.  Happy cuts himself, all the while keeping a tight grip on the box set, and peels out of the parking lot without anyone catching the license plate; therefore the police must resort to matching the blood left on the glass and some convenient spit on a used glass cup to catch our period-story loving thief.”  

Peter gave a slow clap for the on-the-spot story, “Alright that was pretty good.  Now what about my sample and yours?”

Tony pulled up a chair to the other side of the table, “We’re going to compare ours; say I’m suspicious as to the source of your boyish charm and impressive IQ so I want a paternity test done to see if I owe May over a decade’s worth of child support.”

Peter flipped his pencil between his fingers, a small smirk pulled at his mouth, “How do I know that isn’t the double motive? Help me with a biology concept and make sure you aren’t actually responsible for creating yours truly?” Tony gave him an amused side eye for the question.

“When were you conceived, again?”

The question elicited a chuckle from Peter. “Funny enough, May told me my mom came to her to tell her the good news about a month after my dad got back from a long research trip.”

Tony rose from his chair to cross around the table, “Few trimesters later and one of the finest young men I’ve ever known is born, right?” he says, ruffling Peter’s hair.  “I’m gonna go ask Pepper if she wants a pizza delivered; let me know when F.R.I.D.A.Y. says the machine is done doing its thing.”  

The end of a breadstick poked out of Tony’s mouth as he split up the results from the tests, Peter looking over his shoulder as he did so.  Taking the half-eaten breadstick from his lips and gesturing to the identical bands of proteins to their left Tony started, “So, as we can see, the two samples from the blood and the spit on the drink prove that our dear Happy is now the forehead of box set theft.  Now looking over at our sadly negative paternity test…” He trailed off, gesturing toward the other set of results with the breadstick before taking a bite from it.

Peter squinted, not from not being able to see but from confusion, “Okay so…” he began, “They don’t look terribly different. How can you tell that it’s negative?” Looking back up at Tony, Peter saw him look more closely at the results, lifting a finger to point out differences before freezing at seeing how many bands matched.  Suddenly, Peter saw the older man’s eyes widen a fraction, and an almost imperceptible shiver shook his frame.  “Mr. Stark?” A cold weight started to settle in Peter’s stomach from Tony’s silence.  

Peter almost didn’t hear his answer.

“Because it’s not…” Tony muttered out before taking a shaky breath.  “I think I might owe May that child support…” They both jumped when F.R.I.D.A.Y. took that moment to speak up.

“Congratulations, Boss.  It’s a boy!”

When Tony addressed the A.I., Peter thought he sounded on the brink of losing composure.  “F.R.I.D.A.Y. check any time around nine months before Peter was born that I would’ve been in proximity to Mary Parker.  Cross reference those results with any times Richard Parker was documented to be away on trips longer than a few days; get back to me with what you find.”

“Yes, Boss.”

A cold wave of realization started to wash over Peter that this wasn’t some sort of prank, as Tony wasn’t one to neither play them nor act this emotional for any he did.  DNA didn’t lie, but denial still rooted itself firmly in the front of Peter’s mind despite the holographic bands of proteins halfway matching between the two samples.  He vaguely registered F.R.I.D.A.Y. speaking again.  “Around the time Peter would’ve been conceived, you and Mary Parker were both speaking at a multidisciplinary, scientific conference in New York.  The conference occurred three weeks after Richard Parker departed for a research trip to Europe, and two weeks before his return to the country.”

Peter could feel his heart pounding in his ears; there was no way F.R.I.D.A.Y. would lie about this, as blunt as she was.  The implications of what she said started to merge with the holograms beginning to burn his eyes, the bright blue neon becoming less like distinct shapes and more a blurry haze.  He distantly registered Tony had begun pacing behind him; trying the stave off what Peter guessed was panic.  

His heart nearly leapt out of his throat when a pair of arms wrapped tightly around his middle, and Peter could feel Tony shaking against his frame.  The normally confident man sounded so small, even so close to Peter’s ears.

“Peter, I’m…I didn’t know, I swear, I…”

“Mr. Stark, I—“, Peter was cut off, suddenly turned about face.  Tony held him tight, and Peter’s chin rested just on Tony’s collar.  He felt the older man shudder, and heard something akin to a choked sob.  

“I swore if it ever happened, I’d be better than my dad.  I always thought the mother would come forward, I—“ Tony’s rambling briefly cut off to allow for another shaky breath. “I can’t believe I missed fifteen years!”  The apology and self-directed anger dripped from the exclamation.

Peter felt a hand move to the back of his head, and he was pressed even tighter into Tony’s shoulder; he could smell the pizza they’d ordered for dinner, and Tony’s signature cologne; a smell he’d gotten used to finding comfort in lately.  Peter wasn’t going to point out that Tony shouldn’t have been sorry for something neither of them had known about, but then the fact hit Peter that most of his life has essentially been a lie.  Not that blood really mattered but still, he had believed for his entire life that he was Richard Parker’s biological son, and yet here was the evidence in its bright blue holographic glory that he wasn’t.  He and May technically weren’t related anyway, but she was the closest thing he’d ever had to a mother that he could remember.  A terrifying thought came to him at the realization.

“Do I have to leave May?” Peter tried not to think about how choked and small his voice sounded.  He found relief in the fact that instead of pulling away from him, Tony only held him tighter.

“I’m not about to take you from the only stable parent you’ve had for the last decade.  Moms are important.  We need to call yours about this soon…”  

Peter gripped the sides of Tony’s tee-shirt as he pulled away from him.  The older man sniffed and used the hand that had been on Peter’s head to wipe what beginnings of tears there were in his eyes, before using both hands to cup Peter’s face.  “Fifteen years…”  Peter could see Tony trying to brighten his expression, “You think I could get May to send me pictures of you growing up or would that be creepy?”  

A wet laugh shook Peter’s frame, and he could feel calloused thumbs running under his eyes; he hadn’t realized he’d been tearing up.  Suddenly Peter felt the weight of Tony’s chin atop his head, and once more he was settled into Tony’s shoulder.  “I’m gonna make up for lost time, I swear.  I’m gonna be here for you.  If you thought I was overprotective before you just wait, young man!”  Peter could feel the vibrations of Tony speaking where his ear pressed against the older man’s throat, and he hummed at the promises made.  

“You mean it?” Peter had said it jokingly, and wasn’t prepared for how deadly serious Tony’s tone turned.

“Peter, I swear on my life I’m going to do everything I can to be a proper father to you if you’ll have me.”

Tony felt Peter clutch onto the back of his shirt, and nod furiously into his shoulder.  He felt the fabric on his shoulder get wet and warm, and he chocked it up to Peter being overwhelmed (he was too) at a third father in his life. Tony knew he wasn’t the ideal role model, but he’d be damned if he wasn’t going to make an effort to make up for missing this kid’s childhood.  Maybe in a different life Mary would’ve realized who the father of her baby was, and maybe he’d have seen Peter born, and learn to speak, and hold his hand as he took his first steps.  But that was then, and here and now he had proof that the kid he pretty much accepted responsibility for as his own was in fact his baby.  

Peter was his baby.  Although a bit out of his character, as Peter continued soaking his shirt with tears, Tony pressed moved the boy’s bangs and pressed his lips to Peter’s temple.  “I’m gonna do right by you, I promise,” he said, returning his chin to the crown of Peter’s head.  As the shock of discovery slowly waned, Tony could feel the growing warmth of affection spread through his core, stronger than it ever had been previously.  

“I should call May…” As he reluctantly began to let go of Peter, the boy suddenly stopped him.  

“Mr. Stark?”

He’d been trying to tell Peter he could call him Tony for several weeks, but with their new discovery the formal title seemed ever more distant and hollow.

“Yeah?”

“Does this mean I get to call Vision ‘little brother’?”

The snort he let out turned into a deep laugh, and the grin Peter sported showed he was quite proud of himself.  

“Absolutely, and I want you to make sure F.R.I.D.A.Y. gets a recording of Vision’s face the first time it happens.” He pushed Peter back toward his unfinished homework, knowing full well the boy wouldn’t be able to work seriously on it at the moment, as he pulled his phone from his pocket and dialed May’s number.  After a couple rings the other line picked up.  

“Tony?  It’s kinda late, is Peter alright?”  

Tony let out a good-natured scoff. “I’m sure you’ll find that debatable, but I can assure you the little darling is just fine.” He could hear an amused sort of confusion enter May’s voice.  

“And what does that mean?  Did something happen?”  

Tony could feel his stomach drop a little; he couldn’t put into words just how perfect it seemed that Peter was his, but declaring that to his aunt (really his mother, the ‘aunt’ title was essentially a formal technicality) made it so much more real, and the elated jitters were sobered and the responsibility facing him took hold.  “May, before you call me crazy I can have F.R.I.D.A.Y. send you everything.”

“Um…alright?  Why do you say that?”

Thinking it better to just be frank and rip off the proverbial Band-aid, Tony took a breath. “That electrophoresis demo that Pete came over for, uh, well we did a sort of DNA matching paternity test so I could show him how to tell it was negative and explain what a positive would look like.  Problem—wait, no, it’s not a problem because it’s great, at least for me but anyway it wasn’t negative.”  Tony waited with baited breath as May’s end of the line stayed silent.  He quickly thought to add on, “F.R.I.D.A.Y. cross referenced my whereabouts in reference to Peter’s mother and Richard about when Peter should’ve been conceived and our times and places matched.”  

Tony knew with his advanced senses Peter could hear May’s end of the line, or rather the lack of sound on it.  After what seemed to be at least a few minutes, May spoke up.  

“Not that I don’t believe you, because this doesn’t seem like something you would make up, but I would like F.R.I.D.A.Y. to send me what you’ve got in way of evidence.”

“Of course!  F.R.I.D.A.Y.?”

“On it, Boss.”

Tony looked over to where Peter was sitting on one of the workbench’s stools, dangling his feet with a somewhat content look on his face.  Tony’s eyes drifted to the holograms when May piped up.  

“So…what?” She sounded a bit upset; Tony supposed she had every right to be, with her nephew not being the child of her late brother-in-law but of the man that until recently she’d not been at all fond of.  “Are you going to take him?”  Although he’d already answered that question, Peter still perked up on his stool.

Tony shook his head, knowing full well May couldn’t see it through the phone.  “I’m not gonna take Peter out of the only constant home life he’s had for the last decade, May, and I’m not about to take him from a parent that knows what they’re doing.  But I’m going to make up for lost time if you’re alright with that.”  He heard May make a sound of affirmation on her end of the line before continuing. “Not that I wasn’t planning on it anyway, but leave paying for college to me.  I don’t wanna cause court drama over this but I’d like a guaranteed weekend a month with Pete, in addition to every other week during the summer and every other holiday, but only ones Peter doesn’t mind spending with me.  Oh, and you can expect quite the hefty child support check; if you want to stay completely out of court on this just give me a number and it’s done.  Food, rent, school fees, whatever, I’ve got it.  Nights you have to work, he can stay with me and Pep, not that we wouldn’t be happy to have him anyway.”  Finishing off, he sent a wink Peter’s way, and the boy flashed a grin.  

He heard May let out a laugh thinly laced with disbelief, “You’re serious about all this?”

“May, I have been so serious about very few things in my life.  Peter was already filling this role before tonight, now I just have evidence to get my name on his birth certificate and schedule his doctor’s appointments.”  He heard Peter snort on the other side of the room.  “Actually we might just call Bruce so our darling baby boy doesn’t get taken away for being a spider mutant.  Yeah, Bruce is a good bet…”  

“Are you planning on claiming him publicly?”

Tony paused, that question wasn’t one that had gone through his mind yet.  “I don’t want you guys to have to deal with paparazzi all the time, or God forbid someone tries to get Peter to get to me, and not to mention either scenario could out him as Spider-man.  But, I would still claim him and let the world know he’s mine.  Let’s let this one simmer.”  

After May agreed and they each promised to discuss this in person the next time they met to exchange Peter, she and Tony hung up.  The billionaire looked over at Peter, who was doodling on a notepad corner, and a fond smile etched itself across his face.  Strolling over, Tony lifted a hand and ruffled Peter’s hair.  

“I’m sure I can fight off whatever bad guys try to take me if you want to claim me publicly.” He could see Peter was filled with that same fuzzy warmth that his own body was flooded with.

“No doubt, but the point is you shouldn’t have to.”  Tony watched as Peter flipped the pen between his fingers, contemplating something.

“You know, I’m still not used to calling you ‘Tony’.  ‘Dad’ is a whole other can of worms to open.”  Peter didn’t look uncomfortable, not really.  More like he was just trying to solidify that this new reality wasn’t a dream. A smirk replaced the fond grin on Tony’s face.  

“Oh, I am so taking advantage of this newfound fatherly power to give you pet names.”  Peter made a face of feigned disgust, and that was all the prompt Tony needed.  “Peter.”

“Yes?”

The billionaire lowered his voice an octave, “I AM YOUR FATHER!”

“NOOOOOOO!”  

The night wore on with comfortable silence, just two people trying to accept a shifted reality and being content with the outcome.  Eventually, Peter had started to nod off and with more warmth than amusement in his voice Tony said it was past the spiderling’s bedtime.  

Peter had taken up residence in the bedroom he’d once refused along with Tony’s offer to become an avenger.  After he’d changed and flopped on his bed, Tony came in with a glass of water and set it on the bedside table.  

“In case you get thirsty in the middle of the night.”  

Peter had thanked him groggily, and said he was looking forward to their weekend they’d decided to take together in a few weeks before snuggling into his pillow.  Tony felt a small sigh leave his chest, and before he could think to stop himself he drew the teen’s Star Wars printed blankets up to his chin and ruffled his hair.  “Night, son.” It was spoken with a tenderness he didn’t care to hide; it felt natural to address Peter such a way.  They weren’t quite at the ‘goodnight-forehead-kisses’ stage, not for a while, Tony thought, so he straightened to leave for his own room.  Just as his hand reached the doorknob, he heard, “Goodnight, dad” and that warm fuzzy feeling bloomed in his chest once again.  He looked forward to being a father. 

(There will be a chapter two coming...)

[princettegil]

There's been something I've been meaning to talk about for a while now but it recently came to a head about a week ago and I've came to realize that the medical field is probably one of the most uncaring amd worst places to work for someone with mental illness! You'd think the medical field would understand, right? Nope! Out of all the jobs I've had, none have been this bad at working with me or helping with my issues. I won't go into detail about what happened but I haven't had much in the way of anxiety attacks in the last couple years (cept for a couple incidents.) All in all, I've been doing stunningly better! However, when I have a job I tend to have a lot more anxiety issues (no matter what the job is, it just seems to happen.) So I've had about 3-4 attacks since I started work at the beginning of this year at a hospital (working one of the lowest rungs that still deals with patient care.) But that's to be expected; I figured that would happen since it almost always does, but I was intent on trying to sticking it out this time. Now, I don't like pity - let's just get that clear right now. I don't like pity, I don't like bothering people, I try my best to at least be as good as my peers at my job and I absolutely abhor bothering people with my issues (be that mental illness stuff or standard job difficulties.) Basically, I try to hold my own as best I can and I don't like to mention my mental health issues unless it's clear they're absolutely becoming an problem. Well, first (technically 2nd but the real first was a very small and not full blown attack) anxiety? A nurse happened to be in the room with me and took me to the main office where they let me chill a little and transferred me to work with a less trying patient. That's good! That seems reasonable yeah? Though what they did I agree was a good move, the way the nurse (an RN mind you) acted towards me was... odd. You'd expect a nurse to be well trained with things like anxiety or panic attacks and know both how to help out and seem considerate, right? Well... you'd be very wrong! Though she wasn't mean she didn't seem to understand at all what was happening to me even after I told her I was having an anxiety attack. She clearly didn't know much in the way of how to help me calm down or even deal with me at all working on her floor. But whatever, maybe she was tired? Nurses work their asses off after all! Maybe she just wasn't well trained with anxiety issues? It could happen. I gave her a pass in my mind but noted how it was strange for her to be so seemingly uncomfortable with a simple anxiety attack, especially one of a coworker. My 2nd anxiety attack went mostly unnoticed and I dealt with it the way I normally do. Took a break to go to the bathroom and try to chill out, stayed there a bit longer than my break actually allows but made sure I was okay before going back to the patient's room to continue my shift as normal. At the end though I made sure to inform my supervisor that I could no longer work with said patient because he was behind my prior anxiety attack as well. They didn't really agree but that didn't disagree with me either that they'd make sure I didn't have to work with him again. Then the 3rd anxiety attack. The big one. The awful one. The one that really forced my realization. Like I said, I won't go into detail on what happened. Lots of things happened that night all at once and some caused serious issues but are unrelated to the topic of the hospital's treatment of anxiety attacks. But the stunning thing I did realize was just how non-understanding and non-accomodating my supervisors (years long medical workers, especially in nursing fields) could be. At one of my last jobs, though they ran everyone to the brink of exhaustion and stress (causing many people to quit around the same time, including myself) they at least we're kind when they realized I had anxiety issues. It didn't actually work out the way they promised but they were willing to work with me and make simple accommodations to help me out (like working in the back when the store got really busy.) They were also very understanding and assuring even though I was terrified that they found out. At another job, though I didn't stay long last the first month's training classes, they were also understanding and my trainer took the time to explain how she understood what anxiety was like and gave me plenty of time and space to calm myself down (we got along so well I even friended her on FB after I quit and she's still really nice to me.) Basically, my other jobs were understanding. They didn't pity me (thank gods!) but they were open, supportive, understanding, accomodating and those coworkers who had been through similar really helped commiserate with me which helped me feel more comfortable knowing I wasn't alone. The hospital I work at now? None of the above! They weren't mean mind you, they technically said just enough to make it so that I probably couldn't sue them for treating me differently due to my mental disabilities (I have no intention to) but it really did seem like they wanted to put in the bare minimum of care to make sure that didn't happen. Did they tell me how they understood that anxiety was difficult to deal with? No. Did they try understandingy issues? No. Did they ask or try to accommodate me (like helping me to find a more suitable job there or letting me know I could ask to switch patients if things got hard? No. Did they seem any bit empathetic or even sympathetic? No. They gave me time to calm down (though they seemed pretty ansy for me to hurry up and breath so I could talk or rather, listen to them.) They said they were worried a couple times (while seemingly sounding and looking like they didn't give a single shit and were simply required to say it.) Did they at all mention anxiety is a disability or offer any tips for dealing with it? Nope! Instead they told me, in only slightly prettier words, to suck it up, deal with it on my own, don't cause problems, and that it's only gonna get worse from here. Not exactly kind or what you'd expect from medical personnel huh? In fact, that's my main concern - it was MEDICAL PERSONNEL! I could see this with grocery store staff or call center supervisors and probably write it off as just being ill informed or more caring about the cash and not the employees. But... trained, licensed, careered RNs and nursing staff!?!? Staff that I KNOW have had to deal with and care for mentally ill patients of all sorts? Staff that likely occasionally have to help out in the adjoining psychiatric center!? People whose job is literally to care for other people!? This is what disturbs me! This is what concerns me! If they treat a fellow employee like this then how do they treat the actual patients with problems!? Look, I know nurses don't have it easy! I have both family and friends who are CNAs and RNs and I know some of the shit they go through and how stressful it is. Especially since starting a hospital job and seeing stuff firsthand, I have MAJOR respect for those that can do such jobs! You guys have to have balls of steel! No... platinum! Dear gods the shit you ppl go through! I can easily see why you'd be frustrated especially with a coworker who can't handle the shit you deal with daily! I get it. I can see why you'd snap at patients and even eventually experience burn out and stop giving a shit in general. Hell, I wouldn't blame you one damn bit! But I would hope most of that would be split decisions, heat of the moment type stuff. Not when you've had almost an hour to absorb what's happened and had plenty of time to think through what to do or how to act. If you treat your co-workers like this, how would someone expect you to treat your patients? Not one of the 6 jobs that I've had treated my anxiety issues THIS BADLY! I'm talking data entry places, places with tiny cubicles, telarmarketing places, call centers, grocery stores, RETAIL stores! If nothing else I'd expect at least understanding from medical field workers! My supervisors, even a few of my coworkers - did not only not seem to understand but didn't even care! I was told by one to pretty much man up or quit! And some of these people, I KNOW have either personally dealt with mental health issues themselves or know someone close who has. Even if you know the job is tough, even if you know it may get worse, even if you've personally dealt with worse - you can't even say something as easy as "yeah man, this shits hard, I get it."? If I ever mentioned how hard my night was, my coworkers in the group chat didn't even care enough to respond. I mean, I'm sure you've had hard nights too! Let's talk about it! Let's commiserate and complain together! There's over I of us on this shift and I know you all have gone through shit, let's let off a little steam about it! There's gotta be at least one of you who'd love to rant it out! I find when you complain together about a tough job it makes you feel better knowing there's others in the same situation. Just knowing you're not alone can help a lot! Heck, answering every question you know the answer to with "just call the supervisors" cause you can't take 2 mins to say something like "click the x button on the menu" to help a coworker is a bit extreme isn't it? That last anxiety attack I had suicidal thoughts for a short bit in the midst of the worst part. I asked my supervisors for any advice they might have (hoping they might share some of their 20+ years of health field knowledge) they ignored my question and sent me straight to the ER even though I told them I was fine now. I can see the reaction for legal reasons but they didn't seem worried about me personally but how it may affect my job. They refused to listen to me. I went to the ER. Sat there, had blood work done and answered a few questions about how I was feeling and they let me leave. Why? Because they had determined I was fine and no threat to myself or others, just like I had told my supervisors. They never did give me advice. But they did screenshot my phone to show HR. So no, I don't want pity and I don't want people to get super worried about me but I'm always worrying that I'll be fired because of my anxiety attacks and the least a supervisor or coworker could do is tell me they understand it's tough (the job or the anxiety) or give me helpful tips or listen to me or ask how they could help. But being ignored, told to man up, told to quit, treated like I was just a legal risk and quickly unloading me onto anyone else they could - that's not how you treat someone! Someone with anxiety, depression, mental illness, learning disabilities, young people, old people - ANY PEOPLE! And what's worse is you are MEDICAL STAFF! You should KNOW about this stuff. You should KNOW how to handle it! You should KNOW to at least act like you care! You should KNOW how to comfort or calm someone or make them feel comfortable and not just like a legal risk or a bother that you don't want to deal with! HOW TF DO PATIENTS FEEL ABOUT THIS KIND OF TREATMENT!? My managers are always complaining about inspections and how the hospital is rated by patients and why and how to improve our scores. Well, as someone who's been an employee and now a patient too, lemme tell you your main patient displeasure issue - YOUR ATTITUDE! I thought before that some patients were just asking too much of the staff but now I know that they were right. But it's not about getting your apple juice quicker it's about being treated like you're either just a giant thorn in their side or a pit of money! Maybe next time I won't ignore that survery phone call.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #193

“i’m stronger than i ever knew; i’m strong because of you.”

What’s one item the dollar store is good for? Candy. What’s the last thing you made out of construction paper? A "cover" for Sara's first V-Day present. What’s the last thing that inspired you? I'm not sure, really. Probably some video. Are you a daredevil? No. What’s one thing you are lazy about? Cleaning. Do you prefer tea to be cold or hot? Tea is a no from me. Do you ever get annoyed by the stupid decisions characters make in books? Not really annoyed, seeing as making mistakes is sometimes a necessity to the plot, but I'm more like, "no one would ever do that irl," especially in the horror genre. What’s one thing that’s annoying you about the book you’re reading now? N/A What’s the most boring thing about your life right now? You would almost assume I'm under house arrest because I can never leave my fucking house. What could make your life more interesting? Being in school, have a job, or have Sara live here. Name someone you know who is truly happy. My nephew. He's only two, but. I have never seen a happier human being. Do you have trouble letting friends go when you need to? It depends. Do you have trouble letting things go? Depends as well. How cluttered is your apartment/house/room? My room's decent, but the majority of the house is kinda messy or just unorganized. Do you have any antique furniture? No. What’s the most you’ve ever spent on a purse? Idk, certainly not much. Where would be the most fun place to do a 24 hour challenge in, do you think? Probably an amusement park. Would be creepy as fuck at night too, and I'd liiive for it. What’s something you’ve been wanting to do but haven’t got around to yet? A lot... like resume studying German. I haven't decided to yet because I question the real usefulness of it; I want to go to Germany, but that may never happen, and I could probably manage just enough with what I know. It may end up just being wasted time and effort. What was the best class trip you have ever been on? 5th grade visit to the zoo. Did you have your own room as a child? No, I shared it with Nicole. Maybe Ashley was with us for a while before being given her own room? Idr. Have you ever shared a room? See above, then with Jason in the old apartment. If so, was having a roommate hard for you? As a young kid, Nicole and I liked sharing a room, but as I especially got older, I really wanted my own. With Jason, no. Do you own a lot of clothes that don’t fit you anymore? Yes, some I hope to shrink back into or are just stored for nostalgia. Where do you donate old clothes? Goodwill and some other place idr. Do you enjoy antique stores? Oh. My. God. Yes. What are five things you inherited from your mom? Somewhat slower metabolism I think, depression, are seasonal allergies genetic?, height, and hair thickness. What are five things you inherited from your dad? PACING, this little short huff-ish laugh thing he does at the end of some sentences, no common sense whatsofuckingever, and enjoying games. Do you enjoy grocery shopping? Noooo. Do you enjoy clothes shopping? Only at stores I like, and if I don't have to try things on. Do you own footie pajamas? Omg nooooo, haven't since I was a kid. They had to be so uncomfortable. Which America’s Got Talent Golden Buzzer performance was your favorite? I haven't seen/remember enough. Do you watch America’s Got Talent? I did religiously until Sharon left. If you were to host a '90s party, which 3 shows would you like to run? That '70s Show, Full House, and The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. What was your favorite thing you collected as a child? Webkinz. I was that one kid who had dozens. Whose house was your first sleepover at? My first best friend, Brianna's. If you had a daughter, would you allow sleepovers? Of course with girls, but I probably wouldn't allow a boy to stay overnight until she was at least 16 due to the risk of her getting pregnant. Which do you like better, your first name or your middle name? My first. What are some ways that pop culture has helped you learn historic or scientific facts? Oh, video games and TV shows definitely have. There must be plenty of other things, but. Blanking. Have you ever had a job in which you felt that you had nothing to do? What was the protocol in that situation (e.g., surfing the web, taking on the job of co-workers, or pretending to work)? If you have not, do you think it would be lucky or unlucky to have such a job? N/A; I wouldn't enjoy an extreme lack of work, but definitely some time to like wander around the Internet and such. Having too little would be super boring, and I'd feel very unproductive. Have you ever intimidated or made another person feel legitimately threatened? If not, do you think that you could ever be seen as scary? I felt horrible when I found out Mom's been legitimately uneased before because of how loudly I can scream at Bentley and/or Teddy when I'm really pissed. I've been working on it since then. In what ways do you or would you need to be validated by a partner? (For example, liking your posts/talking about you on social media, or perhaps by doting on you with gifts.) Above all, I need to be reminded that you love me, that you're not leaving (unless of course there's good reason to), AND THAT MY ILLNESSES AREN'T BECOMING TOO OVERWHELMING. As well, with how I physically am now, I need to know that my weight doesn't bother you. That's all I can think of atm. When you are having a hard time emotionally, what are some of the telltale ways that you act out or that your personality reflects your struggles? I admit I speak before I think and can be very snappy and sarcastic. I become extremely pessimistic and cry easier than I already do. My stability in general is very fragile when I'm struggling. Do you tend to succeed by weaning yourself off of something or by quitting cold turkey? WEANING. I never would've survived dropping soda (for the time I did) if I hadn't weaned down. Well, quitting meat cold turkey during my vegetarian phase was easy, but most things, I'd still say weaning. Is there a specific type of pet breed/size/etc. that you don’t want? Why not? I wouldn't want huge dogs due to so much energy, nor would I want arachnids or insects. Or fish because they bore me so it just feels like a total chore to clean the tank. I wouldn't want most birds due to all the noise. Also not interested in blood pythons, as they're notorious for being aggressive. Have you ever lived in a notoriously dangerous area? If not, would it bother you to do so? Yup. Has a friend’s significant other ever interfered with or damaged your friendship? What about a significant other of yours damaging a friendship? I don't think so for either. What, if anything, is something that you put pressure on yourself about? What do you imagine would happen if you did not live up to this expectation? Achieve complete financial comfort. If I don't, after how I've grown up, I will be borderline (if not seriously) devastated and disappointed in myself. I also put immense pressure, an amount I know is unhealthy, on myself about losing weight, and if I don't achieve that, I don't know what I'd do. I've worked and still work so hard to. If you have been in a serious relationship, have you and your partner ever discussed lifetime plans that clashed? Did you reconcile them or did you break up? If you have not been in a relationship, what are some issues that would be deal-breakers? In the beginning of mine and Jason's relationship, it was casually mentioned I didn't want children while he did, but we didn't worry about that at the time as we had a long time to figure that out. I later decided I wanted kids together, anyway... Would you ever believe I wanted three back then???? If you have favorite names or names picked out for your children, where did you learn of the names or when did you fall in love with them? I can't remember where I heard Alessandra, but I immediately thought it was gorgeous. I fell in love with Damien because of fucking Mayor Damien from Who Killed Markiplier? Yes, I would absolutely name my son after a Markiplier character, fight me about it. What is one item that you have recently been coveting? Do you think that you will actually get it? Why/why not? A new laptop more than anything... and soon. Dad's working on it as a Christmas + birthday present. Do you still have both of your parents? They're alive, but divorced. Do you like being sensually bitten? UGGGHHHHHHHH YEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSS. If you wear eyeliner, what color do you use? Only ever black. How many colors are in your hair right now? One, but with natural highlights and undertones. Do you have your full license yet? No. Working on it. Are you into gory movies? If the gore is a realistic amount. Have you ever been locked in a room forcefully without anyone knowing? No. Do you have the same color eyes as your mother? No. Does your significant other boss you around a lot? No. Have you ever been drunk? If so, do you get drunk regularly? No. Do you consider yourself a loner or a social butterfly? A loner, but I'm sincerely trying to branch out at least some. Have you ever been put to sleep for surgery? Yes. What is your favorite online smiley face to you? I like ;v; but rarely use it because people can't seem to decide if it's an extremely happy and teary face (what I see) or a sad one???? What is something that freaks you out no matter what? OH GOD thought of this because I passed a video of a pregnant sphynx on FB today. I. Cannot. See a fetus moving from the outside of its mother's stomach. It absolutely, thoroughly horrifies me to the point I may scream. It's one of the million reasons, if not the main reason, I never want to be pregnant and why I say pregnancy would likely traumatize me, especially feeling it. Are the lights in your room more dim or bright? I'd say my ceiling lamp is a tad dimmer? Do you take a lot of photos? No. I'd take far more "photography" pictures if I actually had things to and a way to get around... When you were little, did you think band-aids healed everything? Maybe? Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? A completely unrealistic one. I just missed my period one month, I guess out of stress, a change in meds, something like that, and I was panicking that it was a pre-cum pregnancy, even with protection (aka, thin underwear, which sperm can't travel through). I was an anxious mess until my period did come around. Anxiety is fun. Do you have freckles? If so, do you enjoy them or hate them? I don't. Where do you download music from? YouTube. Do you have a laptop, desktop or both? A laptop. If you have a job, do you work with any of your friends? Do you like that job? N/A When did you last look in a mirror? Last time I was in the bathroom. What are you most known for? Probably that I'm very reserved and anxious. What was the last movie you bought for yourself to watch? I don't think I've ever bought a movie myself. If you have any animals, do any of them live in the house with you? They all do. Would you rather have curly or straight hair? Straight. What is one thing you think is gross about the human body? Sweating. Ever make a friendship bracelet for someone? As a kid. Would you say you have extreme morals? "Extreme" seems a bit far, but I have rather strict ones. What have you been made fun of for the most? I've been teased by so many people, family especially, about how I stay on the laptop or am on my phone, and I fucking hate it. Seriously, don't bring it up. I have reasons. Do you watch any television shows from other countries? I don't watch any TV shows currently. Who is your most favorite television/movie villain? Television... probably a character I can't say as their position of being a villain is a massive spoiler of the show. Or Fullmetal Alchemist's Envy, especially in Brotherhood. Movie, Dark Alessa from the first Silent Hill. Have you ever been stabbed by something? A pencil. Maybe other things. Well, do piercings, tattoos, or shots count? How many pillows do you normally sleep with? Two. When you have chocolate, do you eat it room temperature? Or are you like me and stick the bar into the fridge first? I like it room temperature. Chilled doesn't sound all that appealing. What’s the most shocking thing that’s happened in your part of town? Idk, maybe a murder or something? Are there any constellations you recognize just by looking at them? The Little or Big Dipper, idk which is which. Which insect do you find the most beautiful? Butterflies! Do you like gardening? If so, what do you grow? No. Do you enjoy puzzle games? If so, which one’s your favorite? Yeah, probs Sudoku. What is a job you would never in a million years want to do? Teaching, to name just one. What’s the weirdest building in your city? *shrugs* Do you recognize friends’/family’s vehicles by sound? No. Which Disney villain is your favorite? Probably Scar. Or Hades, I loved his character. Which possession would you not want to inherit from a relative? I dunno. Fancy china or some shit I'll never use or break. Is there an ex you think about every day? You know... maybe Jason. Tiny things will trigger quick memories/thoughts about him a lot of days, maybe actually most, I guess as a PTSD thing. He played such a huge part of my life and drastically changed it, so it's hard not to. I don't give him deep thought or anything and they're typically emotionless; just for example, if I heard Motionless In White, my head would immediately connect them to him as his favorite band, then the thought's over. AND I JUST WANNA SHARE BECAUSE I'M PROUD AS FUCK that today was our anniversary date, and this is the first year I feel zero pain or attachment to it. Would you ever go back to any of your past relationships? No. What's the worst thing you have ever said to anyone? Probably some evil shit I said in that letter to Dad. Who was the last person to text you before you went to bed last night? Sara. When was the last time you had a conversation with an ex? I talked briefly with Girt a few days back. Is there a guy who knows everything or almost everything about you? Jason did. Who was the last person to annoy you? My stepmother with the stupid political shit she shares on Facebook. I love her a whole lot, but oh my god. I regret even adding her. Do you have any text messages that you don’t want other people to read? I wouldn't be mortified or anything, but there's some I want private nevertheless. Which room in your house tends to be the coldest in the winter time? The laundry room, the first room of the house from the backdoor. There's no AC in there, and because there's a draft with the door, it gets cooooold. What is something that you fear will happen to you in the future? (Also Why) I won't be financially stable. That's all I've known so far, and the stress of it is unbelievable. What criminal (dead or alive) would you like to sit down and talk to and why? None. What is the most interesting documentary have you watched? Meerkat Manor. :') Where is your brother? In Tennessee. Last person you cussed at? At? Not in the presence of? Uh, I think I playfully called a friend/family member a bitch at some point? When did a parent last tell you, you couldn’t do something you wanted to? I was craving a Sonic shake a couple days ago, but Mom didn't wanna drive out that far with low gas. Last time you took a picture? A few days back. Our camellia bush is blooming now, and some of the flowers are falling, and I visualized a beautiful shot looking down at one, but no matter what I did, the damn camera wouldn't focus just enough. This is such a frequent problem that I think something may be wrong with the lens. I cannot wait for new ones. Next time you will see the last person that made you cry? Who was it? Myself, so, lol. Next person that will call you? Likely my dad about our laptop hunt. Last person that was at your house besides family? A delivery guy. How many friends do you have? I don't know who are really my old friends, friends, and true friends nowadays. Few. When were you born? 11:20 or 11:30 A.M., I forget. Who are you closest to in your family? Mom. What program on your computer do you use the most? Chrome. Would you ever consider getting plastic surgery? Not unless I was in some sort of freak accident. What is your favorite breed of dog? Akita inus or Saint Bernards. Are you a fan of anime? Yeah. What is your favorite kind of cookie? Soft chocolate chunks. Ahhh. Where is your favorite city? I don't have one. Do you get bored easily? Very. What grosses you out the most? The most? Oh man, idk. Probably seeing bones clearly broken and at gnarly angles, or strange bodily shit like botflies being pulled out (I physically refuse to watch things like that), and giant pimple/cyst popping is fucking disgusting. I do NOT understand how some find it satisfying. Or, as mentioned earlier, seeing fetuses move from the outside. Have you ever been to the circus? In elementary school. I don't remember it. What’s the longest word you know? Uhhh, "brobdingnagian?" Do you use teeth whitener? No, but God knows I want to. Do you think war is an acceptable way of solving problems? NO. NO. NO. NO. Were you a bad child when you were younger? No. What is your favorite type of exercise? Swimming. Do you live near any volcanoes? No. Name one word that you always have trouble pronouncing. Almost everyone points out how I put a "d" in "breakfast" after the "k." I have to consciously think in order to not. Tell me something about yourself that you don’t normally tell people. The fact I enjoy RP. Do you have any songs that seem to fit your life perfectly? Perfectly, idk. Have you ever tried “planking”? Oh wow, I forgot about that fad. The exercise form of planking, yes. Do you trust yourself with big responsibilities? Usually not. What’s your favorite flavor of ice cream? So there's this local dessert place I go to exclusively for their ice cream called "campfire delight" that surpasses any ice cream I've ever had. Out of basic flavors, vanilla. How many people have you truly fallen IN love with? Two. Where was your mom born? Somewhere in New York. Have you ever seen your siblings naked? Well duh as kids. As teens/adults, I think I've seen Ashley like once. Now Nicole, she has no shame and used to walk without a care into the living room to grab clean clothes lmao, and she never cared if I needed to come into the bathroom for whatever if she was in there after she got out of the shower. What can always make you feel better no matter what? Show me that video of Mark witnessing for the first time that "nasa peepo" shit lmao. I will at LEAST smile. What did you last order from a restaurant? A double cheeseburger and fries. And what restaurant was that from? McDonald's. Did you ever really believe in the tooth fairy? Yes. Would you ever get your legs waxed? Likely not. Are you listening to music right now? "Roots" by In This Moment. When was the last time somebody hit on you? lul Sara yesterday, I think. Was the last person you met a male or female? Uhhh who was the last person I met. I really don't know. Which one of your friends do you feel most comfortable around? Sara. Do you own a map of the world? No. Who did you last spoon with? Sara. Does your family eat dinner together? No. When eating string cheese, do you dive right in or just peel it? I don't like string cheese. How do you get rid of your hiccups? Nothing works for me. Do you know how to take screen shots on your computer? Yeah. Do you have a blister anywhere on your body? No. Do you remember what your last fortune cookie said? No, but I think I recall thinking it was stupid. Do you like Chinese food, Mexican food, or American food better? American. What do you think of off-brand soda? Doesn't bother me. Do you like hot, cold, or lukewarm showers? Usually hot. Do you grit your teeth a lot? No. Do you like to swing? Ye. How about jumping on a trampoline? Haven't done that in years, and it would probably wreck my knees. Do you have long arm hair? No. Is your hair healthy? Very. How often do you wash your hair? I have to every time I shower unless I want it greasy, so every other day or sometimes one more. Do you love Family Guy, or hate it? It doesn't bother me. Do you like kids? I don't hate them, but being around them long enough tests me. How often do you like to have sex? Sara and I aren't at that point yet, so I can't really say. If I'm still the same, Jason and I did so every few days, and if I didn't see him in like, almost a week, I'd definitely want it. Do you throw shit under your bed? No. Do you like Dairy Queen? Sure. Have you ever actually drank warm milk? Ew, no. Do you prefer to have milk when you eat cakes/cookies? Every once in a while for cookies. What is your preferred brand of chocolate? Ohhhhhh I can't remember its name. It's one of the "fancier" kinds. Do you like white chocolate? No, too sweet. Are there any movies/shows you’ve seen so many times you’re sick of them? I don't think so. What about songs you’ve heard so many times you hate them? Not hate. Have you ever eaten snow? Yeah, as a kid, and here in the South, there's also this tasty treat called snow cream that you make with fresh snow. Are there any metals that turn your skin green? Silver. Do you know anybody who gets feminism confused with misandry? BOY DO I Do you talk to your pets? Seriously curious, does anyone not? When you do, is your tone different from when you talk to humans? Usually. Do you like using terms of endearment? Yes. Describe yourself with 3 fictional characters. Okay so I'mma actually think here... HA FIRST I am the Actual Eric Derekson, Max Caulfield (tho I give myself just enough credit that I am not that cringey), and Katniss Everdeen, if I remember her well enough (and I only read the first book/saw the first movie). Are there any numbers you dislike for any reason? No. Do you own/wear any jumpsuits? No. Have you ever adopted a stray? (Cat or dog) Cats, plenty. What’s a movie you think more people should see? Idk. Do you read about any mythology? (Greek, Roman, Norse, Egyptian, etc) Haven't since high school, but I'm very interested in it. If you do, do you have any favorite gods/goddesses? Maybe Artemis. Do you think it’s prettier when the moon is full, or a crescent? Full. Have you ever been to a planetarium? Does the Kennedy Space Center qualify? Have you grown to dislike your first email address? Lol, I'll admit it's embarrassing when I have to give it out. Have you ever gotten angry at an employee and complained to the manager? No. What songs bring back happy memories for you? "Closer" by The Chainsmokers, "Leavin'" by Jesse McCartney, "Pretty Woman" by Van Halen, "All Time Low" by Jon Bellion, "Caroline" by Aminé, "I'm Not A Vampire" by Falling In Reverse, a few Billy Joel songs, a lot of old Train songs, "Let Me Hear You Scream" by Ozzy... a lot. Are there any smells that bring back happy memories? Probably? Oh, pancakes and sausage or bacon cooking, for one. I just remember the occasional times as a kid Mom would make breakfast.

[kyaranflowers]

islington plumber electrician builder

Just with the electrician Islington and make sure that the electrician you call for help has experience fixing varied points inside this subject, as it will be certain that you will get several points fastened without delay. When connecting the wiring of the panels, guantee that they're wired collectively instead of wiring them in groups or collection. So, when purchasing for one, make certain to seek out tools which might be made from durable materials. As with all profession, having the right tools for the trade is important to your success. A few of the tools are screwdrivers, pliers, knives, drills, saws and conduit benders. Unfortunately, faulty memory can only be replaced; they're unserviceable by the user. Even in the event you prefer to do it yourself, the help of a professional can Electrician Islington go a long way. Repairing any malfunctioning gadget or wiring is also within the capacity of this skilled. The mixed efforts in both environments will assist you to greatly when taking the electricians exam down the highway. With all the most recent technology thats on the market now, it has turn into easier for electricians to knock out all of the upgrades that you want accomplished to your house or business, plus many times the corporate will move along the savings.

In choosing to take the required electrician programs throughout your apprenticeship you will truly be incomes cash immediately, as a substitute of waiting in a classroom. These advanced systems require an electrician to get them put into place properly. Not only are these programs complicated, however they can also pose a hazard when improperly dealt with. He is licensed by the state but and might perform installations of equipment however cannot design a mission. For enterprise establishments that would benefit from aesthetically lovely outdoor settings within the evening modern photo voltaic panorama lighting may be a giant boon. Electricians will be exposed to asbestos in considered one of two ways. All electricians listed and permitted to display the mark are registered with an electrical Competent Person Scheme Operator, and have been authorised by Government to self-certify that their work is compliant with Building Regulations. So, whereas Electricians Public Liability Insurance isn’t legally compulsory, it’s widely thought-about essential within the industry. It’s no wonder these people earn a hefty pay.

Once more, electricity running by components that you're poking with a screwdriver isn’t a great combo. It is all the time good to maintain it in writing in order that no mistakes are made. Additionally, the particular person needs to be ready to resolve issues and have an excellent sense of colour. In the event that they do not have the required academic qualifications, but they'll cross the preliminary aptitude test, they need to still be allowed to prepare. We've a vacancy for a Marine Electrician in our Electronics Department. Regardless of work's sort, it's going to frequently be advantageous to understand earlier than getting his providers when the certified electrician may do a specific career. Sure Providers. It is additionally essential to see services' kind the electrician could do. Do not attempt to make use of energy from inside the affected area except deemed safe by a certified electrician. They work with the protected manipulation of excessive voltages everyday so that residents, employees, and operators can enjoy the fruits of their harmful labor.

With a lot of use these can put on and become sloppy inflicting your machine to short out at the most inconvenient of moments. This will quickly turn out to be a problem if the house is just not outfitted with the right surge protection. A very powerful factor to look for in an out of doors switch is a watertight seal or different applicable protection across the digital or mechanical display. An necessary thing for any electrician to do is to ensure that an space is getting its electricity correctly. Getting the journeyman certification is essential because it improves your wages rather a lot, plus it unlocks numerous prospects for you on high of that. We are new to rated individuals but we're very skilled. The bottom line is to rent a office cleaning firm in Kansas City that does greater than floor cleansing. This course has been created particularly to deliver all the important thing electrical courses together to provde the skills, information, skills and competency required to grow to be a Domestic Installer. Use our homeowner guidelines for extra tips on choosing a tradesperson.

You might have a look at looking for the perfect 1 on the web and by referrals. You want some extent to point breakdown and also you need to evaluate also if there may be any features of their service providing that you do not need. Does your restaurant want refrigeration? The drum permits the clothes to tumble around inside of it whereas they dry. Into the twentieth century electrical engineering broke into many fields in analysis and know-how like electrical engineering or digital engineering. And it's so because, just like the that means of language is communication, artwork can be communication. There can also be a cutoff area with which to sever the wire completely. There isnt too much risk while you deal with paint or wallpaper. In the early years there weren't but many security options, so electrocution and fires were not uncommon. Lots of them wouldn't ask for a written copy of their license or insurance.

Finding the Perfect Builder for Your Project With properly installed landscape lighting, it is possible to greatly customize the look and atmosphere of your respective outdoor spaces. This is a great way to raise the safety, function and appear of your entire yard. Many people tend to commence with one flowerbed, tree or outdoor living space. Regardless of the size of your lighting project, there are many options and lighting packages available. While it could be tempting to get it done all yourself with a DIY lighting kit, choose getting your landscape lighting professionally installed by a licensed electrician. Professionally installed landscape lighting often looks better and lasts more than its DIY counterparts.

You can buy different brands of this product in every shop. It is even available in shops and some larger grocery stores. The price to get a standard-sized bucket, which holds enough material not less than a dozen appliances, do range from dollar to four or five dollar for the specialised product, for example granite-safe putty. Every home should have a package of this product among its home maintenance supplies in the event that a leak appears. Since it's very low-priced and lasts for many years, it is possible to store it within your basement, workroom, or under the drain until you're ready utilize it. Just make sure you continue the container firmly closed after each use therefore the clay isn't getting subjected to mid-air to much time. Although it will stay soft and pliable for the very long time, it could normally dry out should you leave the package open for any very long time. Another common basis for replacing an electrical outlet is a lot more common than you could think. Electricians frequently see poorly made connections whenever they are inspecting home electrical outlets. Because electrical code allows for connections to get made two ways, either held tight using a blade (not the recommended method), as well as to contain the wires wrapped around all the screws and tightened. Because the first strategy is cheaper and takes less time, many electricians will perform this as a way to finish fast. This produces a less secure, connection, however, that may loosen over time. A poor connection can result in hidden dangers, as the connections are completely hidden by the wall. It is not only the drains in the home that could get clogged. The plumbing lines through the home hook up with larger sewer lines that run within the home. Very often, wrinkles get clogged that roots of trees. As the roots expanding, they are able to block the drain and cause the sewage to back in to the home with the floor drains. This could cause flooding for the lower a higher level your home resulting in extensive damage and expensive repairs. DIY doesn't always work- Even the cleverest among us continues to be stumped by the repair problem. Compounding this regarding plumbing is the fact that true, high-quality plumbing repairs involve high-tech equipment that perhaps the sophisticated DIY-er will not have entry to, for example snakes and video line inspection units.

[moneyintrend]

Making money with Apps - Earn from everywhere

Every week, we already spend hours on our phones. With its weekly screen usage stats, Apple has made us acutely aware of this. Why not make some money with those hours?

There are plenty of money-making applications available for both Apple and Android users these days. Taking surveys, playing games, watching movies, investing, and even buying are all ways to make money.

The 10 Most Profitable Apps

We've tried a lot of applications, so trust us when we say we've tried a lot of them. We weeded out the duds and put up a list of our top-rated money-making applications.

1. InboxDollars: Earn Money by Watching Videos

Most of us are familiar with InboxDollars, but did you realize it pays you to watch videos? There's a lot to watch on the site, including cuisine, entertainment, news, and wellness programs. InboxDollars will credit your account with a little amount of money each time you watch one.(Are you new to InboxDollars? Here's our beginner's guide.)

Pros: You earn cash with InboxDollars, so you don't have to worry about trading points. It also has more opportunities to make money, such as surveys, scratch-off games, and internet searches.

Cons: To pay out, you must earn $30, which is a bit expensive when compared to the other sites on our list. A $3 transaction fee will also be charged.

Payment is made via check, which is mailed to you. Get a $5 incentive just for joining up and watching your first video, according to a pro tip. Available for Android (4.3 stars) and iOS (4.3 stars) (rated 4.4 stars).

2. Lucktastic: Free Scratch-offs to Win Big

If you're sitting on the sofa looking through your phone, download the Lucktastic app to play free scratch-off tickets for a chance to win $1 to $10,000 instantly.

Pros: You may download and use Lucktastic for free. You have nothing to lose if you have some spare time.

Cons: According to user feedback, winning money is an uncommon occurrence. However, we spoke with a single father who had won $5,000.

Earn a minimum of $2 and then cash out for an immediate gift card. If you spend $10 or more, you can request a check in the mail. Keep a charger on hand to keep your phone charged. Available on Android (4.2 stars) and iOS (4.2 stars) (rated 3.2 stars).

3. Get Free Prepaid Visa and MasterCards with Fetch Rewards

Fetch Rewards, a free app, will convert your receipts into gift cards. It works with a variety of companies to reward you with points for each supermarket receipt you post. Then you may swap them for Visa and MasterCard prepaid cards.

To earn prepaid Visa or MasterCards, just download the app and establish an account, then upload photographs of your supermarket receipts.

Pros: There's no need to scan barcodes or look for deals; all you have to do is email Fetch a snapshot of your receipt, and it'll take care of the rest. It may also be used with any grocery receipt.

Cons: Cashing out requires a minimum of 3,000 points, however offers range from 250 to 3,000 points, so hitting the minimum should be simple. We've seen offers for 2,000 points with the purchase of a Suave female hair product and 2,000 points with the purchase of a Blue Moon 12-pack.

When you achieve your minimum, you may cash out for prepaid Visa and MasterCard cards or gift cards to participating shops.

Pro tip: Use Fetch as soon as possible following your shopping trips, as your receipts must be within the previous 14 days. Plus, when you download the app, enter the code PENNY to get 2,000 points instantly when you scan your first receipt – you'll be well on your way to your first gift card in no time. Android (4.2 stars) and iOS (4.3 stars) versions are both available (4.8 stars).

4. Ibotta: Make Money While Shopping

You may get cash back on a variety of transactions using the Ibotta app, including groceries, Uber trips, and Amazon purchases. Simply take a picture of your receipt or use the app to shop.

Pros: Ibotta is a fantastic method to save money on goods you currently buy, both in stores and online. You'll occasionally come across gratis offerings in the mix as well. We spoke with Nancy Frost, who received $432 in cash back over the course of a year.

Cons: Be wary of purchasing goods you don't actually need only to earn money back. It's alluring.

Payment method: Once you've reached $20, you may cash out by PayPal or Venmo, or choose a gift card to a major shop such as Amazon, Best Buy, Target, or Walmart.

Pro tip: Get a $20 sign-up bonus by downloading Ibotta from The Penny Hoarder and redeeming your first 10 offers within 14 days. Available for Android (4.5 stars) and iOS (4.5 stars) (rated 4.7 stars).

5. Nielsen Consumer Panel: Earn Money for What You Keep in Your Fridge

Nielsen is a market research firm that you're undoubtedly acquainted with. It's always kept tabs on TV ratings, but now it wants a look inside your refrigerator. Scanning the barcodes on your shopping goods earns you points in the Nielsen Consumer Panel app.

Pros: Becoming a member of this market research panel is quite straightforward. Scanning the barcodes of things you've purchased is as simple as downloading the app and scanning the barcodes of the items you've purchased. To get points, share your data with Nielsen.

Cons: You won't get paid in cash or gift cards; instead, you'll get rewards.

Method of payment: Earn points that may be redeemed for items such as toys, gadgets, or household equipment.

If you don't want to use the app, you can request a portable scanner instead. Available for Android (with a 3.7-star rating) and iOS (with a 3.5-star rating) (rated 4.4 stars).

6. Acorns: Invest Your Change (and Receive a $5 Bonus)

Investing is a fantastic method to make money over time. If you're just getting started, the Acorns app is a good place to start. It allows you to invest tiny sums of money.

Pros: With Acorns, you can be as hands-on or as hands-off as you want. Its round-up function rounds up each transaction and invests your digital change automatically. In less than two years, the software helped Jeremy Kolodziej amass more than $2,000 in investments.

Cons: Acorns charges $1 per month for accounts with less than $1 million in balance. It's a shame it's not free, but consider this: for the price of one month of Netflix, you can receive a year of investing.

Withdrawals are not subject to any limitations or fees. You may withdraw money as often as you like, but investing is preferable in the long run.

Pro tip: If you join up for Acorns through The Penny Hoarder, you'll receive a $5 bonus, effectively giving you five months of free service. Available on Android (4.4 stars) and iOS (4.4 stars) (rated 4.7 stars).

7. MyPoints: Tell Us What You Think

MyPoints is a website that connects consumers to market research survey opportunities. It has been in existence since 1996.

You may earn gift cards by completing polls and filling out surveys using MyPoints. You'll get a $5 prize after completing your first five surveys.

Pros: You get points even if you don't qualify for a survey. It's also a simple gateway with a variety of methods to gain points, such as participating in polls and viewing movies.

Cons: Because MyPoints links you to surveys on third-party consumer marketing sites, you'll frequently leave the site's portal. Users say they have a hard time qualifying for surveys. (I didn't qualify for any of the five tests I took recently.)

Gift cards to major shops such as Amazon, Old Navy, and Starbucks are accepted as payment. Tip: After qualifying for and completing your first five surveys, you'll receive a $5 bonus. Android version is available (rated 3.5 stars).

8. Rover: Earn Money Playing With Dogs

You may opt to provide a number of services on Rover, such as dog walking, overnight boarding at your or their house, and daycare. According to Rover, sitters may earn up to $450 per month.

Pros: Is there anything more enjoyable than spending time with dogs? However, take it seriously. Rover allows you to establish your own hours and pricing. Choose the services you'd want to offer as well.

Cons: To build a solid reputation on Rover, you may need to decrease your hourly prices at first until you break into your city's market and start receiving favorable reviews.

You establish your own rates as a payment option. (A little percentage is kept by Rover as a service charge.) Payment can be made straight to your bank account. The money may take up to 72 hours to transfer.

Pro tip: Because boarding is the most popular service on the app, offering it might help you land more bookings. Available on Android (4.2 stars) and iOS (4.2 stars) (rated 4.9 stars).

9. Foap: Make Money With Your iPhone Camera

Do you have a smartphone that takes decent photos? Foap is a website where you may sell your photographs. List your photographs in the app's marketplace, and if someone buys the photo's license, you'll get 50% of the sale. If it sells for $10, for example, you'll make $5 every time.

Pros: Today's phones have amazing cameras, making it easy to snap high-quality photographs. The effort is done after you capture the ideal image and post it to Foap. All you have to do now is wait for a sale.

Cons: You can't be sure your photographs will sell. Also, don't expect to make a lot of money; this is simply a fun side project.

Payment method: You'll get 50% of the sale and may pay out using PayPal. Add relevant tags to your photographs as a pro suggestion. It will assist users in finding your photographs, much like it does on Twitter or Instagram. Available for Android (with a 3.8-star rating) and iOS (with a 3.8-star rating) (rated 4.5 stars).

10. Sell Your Old Stuff on Letgo

Why keep old items that you haven't looked at in over a year? Try using an online marketplace like Letgo to sell them to others in your region. It takes a lot of the effort out of selling anything online, and it's completely free to use.

Pros: Letgo allows you to sell almost anything. In less than 30 seconds, you may snap a photo and upload your item using our simple software. Another significant benefit? Letgo doesn't take a cut of the sale, so anything you make is all yours.

Cons: There's no assurance that your products will sell. Your goods may sell like hotcakes in record time...or they may sit in your closet collecting dust for a long. However, many internet markets have this danger, so brace yourself and wait.

Payment method: Letgo is only an online marketplace where you may list your things for sale, not a place where you can complete the transaction. What are its recommendations? Meet in a public area and only transfer money once the buyer has seen the goods.

Take cash or utilize a secure payment option like PayPal as a backup plan. Don't accept a "certified check" - according to Letgo, this is a typical fraud. It's also not a good idea to ship things. Available for Android (4.5 stars) and iOS (4.5 stars) (rated 4.4 stars).

[steveandtorixinthemiddle]

Steve, Tori, and X in the Middle

Hello and Welcome to our new blog (If I’m being completely honest, I will probably be the one posting the most) about the next adventure in our lives. I suppose we should introduce ourselves. Let’s start with Steve because he’s the funny one.

Who is Steve? Well he has been a construction worker in various fields for most of his adult life. In 2011 he discovered Wii golf, which got him interested in the actual game. At first it was just playing on his PS3, but eventually we were able to find a decent set of second-hand clubs meant for a lefty. The first time he came home from the golf course (after what he described as the most horrible round in history) he was grinning from ear to ear and happier than I had seen him in a long time. He said he didn’t get remotely close to par, but he’d enjoyed himself immensely. He has gotten better but says he will never be a pro.

Steve is funny. I mean gut-splitting, spit milk out your nose, pee your pants funny. Most of his quiet little comments go unnoticed by those who don’t know him, and they are missing a lot of laughs because of it. He has bought nearly every stuffed animal I own (and I own a lot of them, mostly ladybugs) because he enjoys making other people smile. Okay, mostly me.... Then again, he also worked two jobs to put me through college, so you have to know he’s a good guy.

Funnily enough, people actually think Steve looks a little scary. I don’t usually see it though. I see a big teddy-bear, or a really goofy guy who just wants to have fun. Sometimes I accuse him of being a ten-year-old in the body of a grown man (I guess like BIG) because he loves fart jokes and many of the other things every boy I’ve ever known has liked. This man used to sit down and watch a couple hours of Sponge Bob when our son was small. He watches Red Green, Monty Python, Mythbusters, and the Mel Brooks movies and wishes he could do something like that.

Now me, I suppose. Well, I’m in my late thirties, but sometimes feel three times my age. I haven’t had an easy life (who has?) and my body is feeling it. In 2017 I had a pretty bad fall that resulted in lingering pain for years. Pain so bad that I couldn’t even walk. We had no medical insurance at the time (we were poor, but not poor enough, and living in SC, a state that didn’t take kindly to the ACA), which meant that the injury went untreated, even undiagnosed.

If the physical injury wasn’t enough (it really was if you ask me), the meds that they gave me to treat my PTSD were late a couple times. It was a medication with a warning I was never given. Occasionally someone will withdrawal from certain medications in such a way that it causes damage. This particular withdrawal caused me to have seizures, brain zaps (which can only be described as electricity zipping through your head every time you move it, or even your eyes) and suicidal thoughts so severe my husband had to take several days off work just to sit with me.

All totaled I was trapped mostly in bed or in a wheelchair. I was depressed and anxious. My PTSD was worse than ever. I was feeling hopeless and alone all the time, and I honestly wasn’t sure if there was any reason to keep going. I would have really great days, when I was able to get my wheelchair down the ramp, take the bus to the store, even see my friends. And then there would be days when my hip would lock and I would fall down.

After a fall I could usually expect to be trapped for days in my bed, in unending pain, and mostly alone as my husband had to work, walk the dog, take care of me, do all of the household chores, and literally everything else. My only contribution to our life was using the phone to pay bills and make cigarettes. I felt like I was a burden to my husband. It just got worse and worse and I didn’t see an end.

It’s interesting what life gives you sometimes. One afternoon, when I couldn’t find any inspiration for a fanfiction story I was working on, I started looking on YouTube for anything that would keep me entertained. As I was scrolling through, I saw a video from Trent & Ally (Experienced Van Builder Creates Masterpiece (4k) Van Tour). When the video ended I remember thinking, ‘if I’m going to be stuck in bed all the time, I wish it moved.’ I had no hope of having “van-life” adventures. Not with my health so bad, or with my mental health not much better. Still, it gave me something to dream about.

Then one day my husband sat down in his chair across from the bed, looked me in the eye, and said “we’re going back to Maine.” He’d had enough of seeing me suffer. So, we came back to Maine. It didn’t work out the way we planned. We had to leave our dog Chyko with my cousin (his original owner, who had raised him from a pup) and his family and take the train and a bus to get there, which meant leaving almost everything behind for the second time (we’d done that when we moved to SC after I found my mom).

Almost immediately after getting to Maine we were able to rent a lot with an old trailer on it (1972) not far from Steve’s brother. Right after moving in, I applied for Maine Care, which is Maine’s version of Medicaid. After a while, with the proper medication and a LOT of hard work, I started to get better. First it was just walking from the bedroom to the kitchen. Then I wasn’t staying in bed all day anymore, I would sit at the table. After a while I was walking several times a day from one end of the trailer to the other.

You should have seen my husband’s face when I told him I was going to walk to the store for the first time. I actually thought he might cry. He walked beside me the whole way, telling me over and over how proud he was of me and grinning from ear to ear as he “showed me off” to the people of the town he had grown up in.

It’s funny the way things happen. Covid shut down the country. More and more I wanted out of my house. I took over walking the dogs (who we adopted from Steve’s brother when they moved to a place that wouldn’t allow dogs) twice a day. I started going out with my sister-in-law to stores and walking through them, first in my walker, and more recently on my own two feet with absolutely no help!

Over the past year I have gotten stronger. I will never be where I was before. I will never walk 23 miles with a toddler on my back again (yes, I did that once). I won’t be skydiving, or cliff jumping, or any of the major things I wish I could have tried at least once when I was young enough to survive (he he he). Still, I have a lot of life ahead of me. I’m glad my husband didn’t let me give up.

And now we are preparing for our next adventure. We are going to buy a shuttle bus and turn it into our home on the road. We have several reasons for this. One of those reasons is to pay off all of my outstanding medical bills. I literally owe so much that if I keep paying at my current rate it will take me 417.8 years to finish. So in part, I suppose this is about making sure we don’t leave that debt to our son.

There are other reasons though. One of them is that I would dearly love to meet a few of the couples/families/individuals I began following on YouTube over the past three years. Another reason is because we will never be able to afford a retirement on what my husband makes working in a grocery store (which was his only option after moving here) and we need to go where the work is. We also want to see the country, find out who we are now that “mom and dad” aren’t our biggest titles anymore, and to keep us both active and healthy.

(Okay, and because someone told me I couldn’t do it and I’ve never been able to resist proving people wrong when they say that, so long as I actually WANT to do it).

I’m sort of hoping my husband can put together a show of his own, that people actually enjoy watching on YouTube. Sort of a mix bag kind of show that brings in elements from his favorite shows and movies that really speak to us both. We would love to make videos about how and where to fish, or how to get a fishing license in a state other than your own. I’d even like to do my own short segment, sort of like what Mariah Alice does in her videos. Just talking about what I’m feeling, and why. Figuring out where I go from here.

And... both of us want to help others in our situation (low income) make a go of the life. We watched, horrified, over the last year as more and more people lost everything to wild-fires, floods, even evictions. We want to make it possible for other people to take their homes on the road with them. We want to help families who are really struggling figure out what to do next. And we want to really join in the community (which will be hard with my social anxiety, but not impossible).

Mostly, I think we just want to live while we still have time. I’m done existing. I want to really enjoy what is left of my life. And I want to keep getting better. If I am ever going to check off the last item on my bucket list (WALKING the full length of the Appalachian Trail) then I need to get much stronger than I am now.  

As for who is traveling with us...

The young Marine in the picture is our son, Tim, who has made us incredibly proud. He lives on base and seems to be doing very well. I wish he would call more, but what can I say, he’s an adult now and deserve the right to start his life, not keep his mom worry-free. He won’t be traveling with us, unless he decides to visit when he can build up some leave time.

If you look at the picture of me lying on the couch covered in dogs however, you will meet Madison (a twelve year old pitt mix) who we adopted from Steve’s brother. She is sweet and affectionate, but tends to bark at strangers and friends alike (you can only tell the difference by the beating your knees take from her tail). Beside her is Avalanche, her son, whose name fits him perfectly. His father was mostly lab, which shows. He is super affectionate, and if he doesn’t get my attention he will put his paws on my leg and lick me half to death until he does.

Both our dogs tend to bark when there are strangers around, though we are trying to get them into the habit of only giving one bark, to warn us. Unfortunately it is a bit more difficult to retrain older dogs, so it hasn’t been as easy as it was with retraining Chyko. Thankfully neither of them have huge health issues, but Madison is getting older. We’re hoping that since she isn’t full-blood pitt she will live a little longer than it says online.

Our plan is to stay in Maine during the summers, except perhaps an occasional trip, and mostly travel in the fall, winter, and spring. We do want to avoid the heat (mostly because my husband is afraid I will go supernova and take half a state with me if I get too hot), but we really want to see our son and visit with our other family down south, but then we will probably follow the weather to avoid costs associated with heating or cooling.

Right now we are just at the beginning. We’ve only just made the decision and haven’t even gotten our shuttle bus yet (though we are looking for the right one). We are gathering the supplies we will need to start. We plan to live in the bus during most of the build. Basically we have to do the insulation and redo the floor, walls, and ceiling of the bus before we build out anything, but the whole idea of hooking up the solar terrifies me and makes my husband a bit nervous too, so we will probably wait on everything but a little Jackery until we really know more.

We’ve been watching hundreds of YouTube videos a week for the past two weeks! We have a list of the things we NEED, and the things we want. Right now we are focused on needs first. Things like the ability to cook and wash dishes and have light at night. There is so much more to do, and it will probably be fall before we even get on the road in a barely renovated bus.

We might be crazy. We probably are. A least a little insane. Still, if that crazy makes us happy, gets us out of debt, lets us figure out who we are now, and enables us to see friends and family we dearly love and miss, then I’ll take a bit of that crazy any day of the week.