#and then we're planning their funeral when they can't reach it

[aleppothemushroom]

The internet when Pixar's upcoming movie isn't literally a genre-defining, art house, greatest film ever made: CLICHE! CLICHE! PIXAR HAS LOST IT'S MAGIC! RIP PIXAR!

[roosterbruiser]

𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞: 𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐰𝐨: 𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐌𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞: 𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫: 𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐈𝐭

𝐚 𝐉𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐧 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐀𝐊𝐀 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐡 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐔𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐚𝐝 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞'𝐬 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟, 𝐭𝐨𝐨. 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐤!

He goes peacefully.

It's the middle of a sunny afternoon and your mother calls you into the bedroom with a calmness that makes your toes curl. You know as soon as you hear her voice. You know.

Your sister is crying. You're not.

He's still breathing when all of you crawl into bed with him, when all of you hold onto him. He hasn't been awake in a couple days and he isn't awake when you lay your head on his chest.

It's surreal; you feel like you're in a dream. Everything feels fuzzy, like your brain is lined in precious cotton. Your mother strokes his hair and you listen to the slow beats of his heart. Your sister is still crying. But you have never been able to cry in front of your father--you're not going to start now, even if his eyes are closed.

The sun warms the cashmere blankets he's covered in and makes your cheeks pink.

"We're here, Tom," your mom keeps saying tearfully.

"Don't go, daddy," your sister keeps weeping. Her breath reeks of pinot.

But in your heart, the one that has been modeled after your father's, you know that isn't what he needs to hear. You know he doesn't need to be begged to stay or reminded that his women are with him. You know that and your mom and sister don't.

So you raise your head, look at his face that is slacked with peace. And you raise your lips to his ear, which you somehow just know is still hearing, and rest your forehead against his temple. He's still warm; he smells like leather.

You whisper very softly to him, "It's okay, dad. I'm ready. Fuck it."

That's when he lets go.

It's a blur after that.

You are certain you're in some sort of fugue state, certain that this is all a bad dream. You keep thinking you're going to shoot up in bed and be seven-years-old again. You keep thinking that your dad is going to come into your dark room and squeeze himself in your little princess bed and hold you tight. You keep thinking that none of this is real and you'll be able to start over--just as soon as you wake up.

Somehow, the afternoon passes. You're not sure where you are or who's around you. Your family, extended and extended-extended, are all fluttering around to get things in place. Someone keeps putting a warm mug in your hands and someone else has shrugged a cardigan over your shoulders. But other than that, you're just sitting at the kitchen table, unblinking.

You're heartbroken, really. Of course you are. Your father was your world. He was the best person you ever met. He made you brave and he kept you strong and he never yelled. And now that he's gone, even if it's only been for a few hours, you can't remember what you were doing before. Not just before your mom called you in the bedroom (you had been reading a book on the porch), but before he was sick. What was life like when he was here and everything was good and you could pad into his bedroom anytime and tell him your qualms?

You can't remember.

And that is what breaks you.

That is what makes you reach for your phone and keys. Honestly, you shouldn't drive. You know that. You do. But everyone is so caught up in grief and funeral planning that they don't stop you. You don't even really remember driving over to Jake's, certainly don't remember walking up the concrete steps. You don't remember knocking or waiting.

But you come screaming back into your body when he answers the door.

He's standing there in his service khakis, his hair gelled nicely, his boots still laced on his feet. His green eyes are glimmering in the early-evening sun and his brows are blanched and his lips are frowning. He heard on base--he'd been calling you all afternoon and was just about ready to head over to your house if you didn't answer.

Here you are, standing on his porch. You're wearing a sundress and a cardigan and no shoes. Your hair is messy like you've been laying down and your eyes are rimmed with red. Your lips are bitten and swollen and pink has bloomed all across your chest and throat. It makes Jake ache all over to see you like this--to see you so utterly and completely broken.

You, the hardheaded pilot that does everything by the books and tried to get into a brawl with him on the tarmac a couple months ago.

You, the girl who ripped the shower curtain open and sized Jake up while soaking wet and butt naked--and who'd actually frightened him.

You, the girl that had taken to inviting Jake to everything he wasn't previously invited to before--bowling, barbecues, bonfires, movie nights, pizza joints, mini golf.

You, the girl who'd tenderly asked Jake to fuck her, who'd keened at his touch and come undone over and over again. You trust him so completely, so totally.

You, the girl that has ended up sleeping in his bed almost every single night. The one who presses her cold feet against his calves and hogs all the blankets. The one who wakes him up as soon as the sun is up because we're wasting the day away, Jakey!

And now you're looking up at him like a realization has dawned on you, like you've just stepped out of some alternate dimension and reality is settling in. Your lower lip is trembling and your eyes are filling with tears and you're beginning to whimper.

"Wisty," he whispers to you very softly, reaching out to wrap you in his arms. You collapse into his chest, knees nearly buckling under all this grief that's sitting on your chest. You hold onto him like he's the only thing keeping you on earth--and he kind of is. "I'm so sorry, baby. I'm so sorry."

Jake has always been someone that is uncomfortable around crying people. He's had almost comical responses to upset in the past. His mom still talks about when his sister broke her arm and he asked her if she wanted to thumb wrestle in the car on the way to the hospital. He saw his father cry once and all he could do was ask his father if he wanted another scotch; Jake was only 12.

But there is something in his bones that knows what to do and say to you as you break down in his arms. There is not an ounce of discomfort in his being as he wraps you up, as you wet his shirt with tears and snots and residual makeup. He relishes in being able to hold you and feels deep down in his chest that this is a privilege. As upset as you are, as difficult as these next few months are going to be, he feels elated that you have put your trust into his hands. His.

And you're sobbing so hard that it's making your skull ache. You are getting snot and spit and tears all over his pressed khaki and you can't stop hiccuping, but you're not embarrassed. This is the most comfortable you've grieved since your father's death. It's the most held you've felt by anyone since the day your father held you and told you his life's philosophy: fuck it.

"Fuck this," you nearly yell into his chest, balling his uniform in your hands. "This fucking hurts, Jake."

Jake nods, lowering the both of you carefully until he's sitting on his concrete porch and you're heaped up in his arms. It matters not that anyone could see the two of you or that anyone could hear you. You don't care and neither does he. But he makes sure to hold the hem of your dress against your thighs to protect your decency.

"I know it does," he whispers to you, pressing his lips to your forehead as you mercilessly weep. "I wish I could make it stop."

It's something that anyone could say, really. But when he says it to you, you believe him totally and completely. He would make it stop if he could.

Him and his solid body and his steady breaths and his warmth are already doing their part in the matter, helping to ease you into an upset lull.

"Fuck this," you mutter again.

He strokes your hair gently, hoping the dying sun is enough to keep you warm as he holds you against his chest.

"Fuck this," he agrees.

Jake is somewhat of an unwavering force in the weeks that follow.

He comes to your family's house with flowers and muffins and makes everyone a fresh pot of coffee. He passes out kleenexes and subtly cuts your sister off after her third glass. He dons his black Navy dress and stands beside you at the funeral. He holds your hand and salutes your father. He buys your family dinner that night and insists that it's his treat.

He sleeps with you each night you ask him to. He lets you cry as much as you want and never makes you feel bad about it. He washes your hair when you're too tired to do it yourself and helps clip your fingernails.

He takes notes for you during trainings because even though you're on leave, he knows you don't want to be left out of the loop. He keeps his ringer on at all times when he isn't with you, even if it's just a grocery store trip.

Your mom comes to love him, as does your sister. He's there when the rest of your family eventually trickles off in the days after your father's death. He cooks and brings good wine and always suggests dessert. He takes your mom to church on her first Sunday without your father and helps your sister buy a plane ticket home, even drives her to the airport.

He makes love to you very gently. You kiss his shoulders while he languidly strokes your clit and whispers your name. He sinks into you carefully, holds you close. He lets you set the pace. He lets your nails dig into his back. He rests his head on your breasts and breathes you in as he's buried to the hilt in your precious body.

It's a month and a half later that you find yourself here at The Hard Deck, standing around the pool table with your squadron, holding a glass of ginger-ale in your hands.

It's been good tonight--better than you thought it would be. It's good to see everyone's faces again. They're busy people, but they've stopped in here and there to bring you a book or a bouquet of flowers or a coffee. But to see everyone in the golden glow of The Hard Deck, a frosty beer clutched in their hands, acting like the world has not stopped turning at all has been something of a relief for you.

You've been here for a few hours now. It's good to be out of the house and doing something normal, even if it makes your throat hurt every time you see a man in uniform wander into the bar.

Jake checks in on you every half hour, ducking to whisper in your ear, "Say the word and we'll blow this popsicle stand." And each time, you smile and tell him that you're okay. And you are--right now, you're okay.

After watching Jake destroy Coyote in another round of darts, you end up by the pool table, leaning against the pillar.

"Look, I know you've had a lot going on," Rooster starts, bumping you softly when you give him a weak smile. He points to Jake, who's sitting beside you with his arm slung across your shoulders. "But it's time you come clean about the whole timeline of this...relationship?"

"Relationship," Jake confirms, thumping Rooster on the shoulder. "Ass."

Rooster laughs--Jake knows he's only chiding. And Rooster also knows that he can reference what's been going on in your life because he's lived it; twice.

You take a sip of your drink, shrugging. For a moment, you watch as Phoenix sinks three balls in pool, which encourages a deep-rooted shame in Payback and Fanboy as they watch on.

"I guess it's been almost five months now," you tell Rooster with a small and tired smile. That's one side effect of grief that you weren't accounting for--you're tired all the damn time. "Well, five months since we..."

Rooster's eyes widen. He takes a swig of beer and smacks his lips.

"Right," he says. He leans in a bit closer now, taking a look behind him before he continues. His golden skin is gleaming beneath the lights and he's smiling that shit-eating smile at you. It makes you feel better in a strange way--just to see him acting so normal with you. "Please don't tell Payback that."

Jake sighs. He knows why, but he asks anyway.

"How much did you bet?"

Rooster tries to act offended by Jake asking but then drops the act when you start to laugh.

"More than I care to admit," Rooster answers. He looks at you again. "C'mon, Wisteria. You and I go way back! Keep a secret with an old pal, will you?"

You just nod, smiling again.

"Scout's honor," you tell him.

"And just so you know, I have about a million more questions about--" Rooster gestures to you and Jake with a tight smile on his lips, "this. But out of my deep respect for you and your grief, I will refrain from asking. For about the next seven to nine business days. Then I'll be asking all of them."

"Such a gentleman," Jake laughs dryly.

Rooster nods.

"Didn't know gentlemen made bets," you quip, eyebrow perched.

That is the exact moment that Bob falls in beside you, bumping you in a friendly way. He hands you a new glass of ginger ale and then crosses his arms with a small smile.

"Was Rooster telling you about his bet with Payback?" Bob asks nonchalantly.

"Bob--you know?" Rooster asks incredulously.

Bob just nods, eyebrows furrowed.

"I was there when you made it," Bob answers.

Rooster stiffens.

"Right. I remember that now," Rooster says. "Yeah, okay--it's all coming back to me now, Bob. You were there!"

Then everyone's laughing and Rooster is flustered and you can't help it--you're laughing, too. It feels like it's been a very, very long time since you've laughed. The sound is almost unfamiliar, but it feels good bubbling out of your throat and into the air around you.

Jake holds onto you, peering down at your face that is awash with glee suddenly. He knows he's been doing his best to make you happy, he knows that you've been relishing in his company, and he doesn't expect you to suddenly be okay with everything that happened. He doesn't expect for you to just wake up and feel fine one day. But to see that sweet face of yours, the one he's painfully and certainly in love with now, smiling and pink makes his heart hurt in the best way possible.

"Hey," Jake whispers to you, breaking you out of the banter that's begun in the squadron now. You look up at him, a smile still softly adorning your lips. It's tentative but it's there. "Wanna dance?"

You swallow hard. You look around the bar--it's crowded tonight, including every member of the squadron. You want to say no--really, you do. But when you see that pleading glimmer in his eyes and that lump in his throat and that smile tugging at his lips and you're saying it before you even realize.

"Of course."

You were expecting him to tug you over to the jukebox, expecting him to clear the floor so the two of you could dance. But he knows you better than that--he knows you don't want everyone in the bar to watch the two of you, especially not tonight. He knows you're still fragile, he knows that this is all still something you're easing back into.

So when he leads you to the parking lot, the one that is jam-packed with cars but entirely void of human life, you feel a weight lift from your shoulders.

Sand crunches under your shoes and the clinking glasses and voices inside are muted in the quiet out here--all you can hear is the crashing waves in the distance.

"Did you rent the place out just for us?" You tease.

He grins at you, his face aglow in the light of the white-rice moon.

"Of course I did," he tells you. "Just for you."

He wrangles a pair of wired headphones from his center console and meets you on the patio, where it is just as quiet and not as bright. And he plugs them into his phone, giving one bud to you and taking the other.

Flowers in December by Mazzy Star is playing. It's loud enough that you can't hear anything other than the waves and the song now--it's drowned everything else out.

Jake holds you close, your chest against his and his leg slotted between yours. He holds your hands in his, keeps you against him with a capable palm flat against your lower back.

You're giggling a little bit, especially when you two fumble as soon as you start to turn. He laughs, too, but kisses you gently. And then the two of you dance in the moonlight very near the beach with all your friends just inside.

There are places in your chest that still feel hollow without your father here. Sometimes you still feel like you're dreaming. Other times you wish that you were dreaming so you could wake up as a little girl and read the newspaper on your dad's lap once more, sticky with syrup and bright-eyed.

But when you rest your cheek on his chest, when you hear the steady beats of his heart and feel him humming along to the song, that hollowness lessens. It doesn't fill it all the way, no, but it's a start.

It's a start.

They say every man goes blind in his heart / And they say everybody steals somebody's heart away / And I've got nothing more to say about it

Jake feels like the luckiest fucking bastard in San Diego to be holding you right now. It's been so easy to fall in love with you, something that almost happened on accident. But he's here and it's happening and he feels like he's about to burst with all of this love and affection in his body.

"Jake," you whisper softly.

His eyes flutter shut. He loves the way his name rolls off your tongue.

"Hm, baby?" He whispers.

The two of you are still dancing, he's still holding you close, you're still resting your cheek against his chest.

"Are we in love?"

It's something you've been wanting to ask for a while now. The first time you wondered it was, of course, at your father's side. And then you wondered it again whenever Jake took you on an aimless drive through the hills just because you were feeling restless. You wondered again whenever he handed you a thick stack of handwritten notes he's been keeping for you. Then you wondered it again when you looked through the notes and found little personal notes in the margins; little I wish you were here's and Maverick is so little today and do you think Bob and Phoenix have ever kissed and what perfume do you use? Gonna start spraying it on your seat because I'm depraved. You're wondering it again right now, resting against his body, knowing with your entire heart that he brought you outside because he knows how little you want to dance in front of that crowded bar.

Jake presses a soft kiss to the top of your head, his heart in his throat. He inhales your shampoo and lets his lips linger there. And then he nods because he doesn't trust his own voice. But you feel it--you know.

So you tilt your face towards him, eyes glazed in tears, and cup his stubbled cheek. He's looking at you with all the tenderness in his being, letting that love wash over him freely, letting himself get lost in the glass of your eyes.

"I love you," you choke.

And you thought this would be scary, looking someone in the face and giving them your entire heart. But you're not scared. You're not even a little scared.

"I love you so much," Jake tells you softly, fluttering kisses against your cheeks and your nose. He basks in the glow of your love, holding you tighter. "So, so much."

You two hold each other tight, pressing your lips against each other's. The kiss is sweet and long, something you have always wanted in a kiss. It's more than a promise, something that resembles an oath: everything's going to be okay.

When he pulls away, resting his forehead against yours, he's grinning. He strokes your cheek, lets a teardrop wet his thumb before he kisses your nose again.

"Guess I've gotta take you on a real date now, huh?"

The two of you laugh--it echoes across the beach.

And because the two of you are in your own universe now, you don't notice that the squadron has gathered around the windows. They're all watching with their arms crossed, smirking or holding their hands to their hearts.

"He's done-for," Coyote says with a fond shake of his head.

"Oh, totally," Fanboy agrees.

"Hey, Payback?" Rooster calls, grinning when Payback raises his brows at Rooster. "When do you think they'll tell Mav?"

"Tell me what?" Maverick suddenly asks, appearing behind the squadron with a handful of beer bottles.

Bob nods at maverick, taking one of the beer bottles, relishing in the shocked expression on Rooster's face right now.

"Nothing," Rooster says quickly. "What are you talking about?"

Maverick furrows his brows.

"What? I heard you say--!"

Rooster laughs aloud, loud enough to cut Maverick off completely.

"Good one," Rooster says. Then he turns to Phoenix, who's biting her lip hard. "Rematch?" He nods to the pool table.

When Rooster leaves with Phoenix at his side, blushing and sighing in relief that he didn't give your relationship with Jake away, Maverick steps beside Bob with a sigh.

"What's he being so weird about?" Maverick asks.

Bob takes another drink of beer and smiles at Maverick.

"Wisteria and Hangman," Bob answers.

Maverick raises his brows. "What? That they're together? Hangman told me last month."

Bob shrugs.

"What Rooster doesn't know won't hurt your pockets," Bob answers.

𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭: 𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐎𝐟𝐟

RIP Ice but we all knew it was coming, right?? I promise I'm not evil!! I tried to give you as much fluff and humor at the end of it!! I promise I don't want you guys to suffer!!!

they will be going on a date next chapter and it will be SMUTTY!!! I promise!!! thank you guys so much AGAIN for all the support on his chapter. it's been an honor putting it out for you guys!!

tags:

@avaleineandafryingpan

@popsycles

@thedroneranger

@guacala

@top-hhun-main

@hotch-meeeeeuppppp

@oliviah-25

@zalmael

@chicomonks

@aboutelijahhh

@angelbabyange

@zbeez-outlet

@dempy

@awkwardgiraffe726

@awesomebooklover17

@ofxinnocence

@nyx2021

@callsign-joyride

@flashyourgreeneyesatme

@one-sweet-gubler

@olliepig

@thedroneranger

@beyondthesefourwalls

@cherrycola27

@hangmans-wingman

@malindacath

@thenewdaysalreadyhere

@shehulkracing

@vemonbby

@ohemgeewhat

@emi-flaces

@mishala005

@Marvellover91

@headinthecloudssblog

@depressoespresso616

@anony1080

@bellaireland1981

@djs8891

@fandom-life-12

@xoxabs88xox

@stiles-banshees

[pepsiluvr0209]

White Ferrari (Final)

buckle in guys

WARNINGS: Angst, mentions of death and just overall sadness

Matt Sturniolo x Reader

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧.˚ₓ

"I let you out, at Central."

It had been one day.

One day of Matt never leaving your side. He practically had to be dragged out of your room for tests and to rest, since the lack of sleep the boy was getting was detrimental for his healing.

"Baby you need to eat." You look at Matt who stared back at you, sadness engulfing his eyes. He had been by your hospital bed for the past couple hours and you started to get concerned.

"I don't want to." He mumbled, tiredly grabbing your tubed hand and playing with your fingers. "I just want to be with you."

"Can you eat here?" Matt just shrugged. Just then you started coughing erratically and Matt jumped up, cradling you gently so you could stabilise yourself. After your breathing evened out, he reluctantly let go and instantly latches himself back onto your hand. This happens about once every 10 minutes and Matt feels his heart break with every episode.

"See this is what we can't do." You sternly say turning to look at him in the eyes. "I want you to take care of yourself."

Matt fiercely shakes his head and you can feel his larger hands start to tremor in yours. "I don't need to take care of myself." He says quietly looking down. "Because when we get out of here, I-I'll have you." He says with confidence.

You've experienced a couple heartbreaks in your time but nothing could compare to the pain you felt in that very moment.

"Matt-" You start.

"No. I don't want to hear it."

If you look close enough you can glistening streams flowing from his ocean eyes down his pale cheeks. You reach out to run your fingers over his stubble which was poking out since he hasn't had the opportunity to shave in a while. Matt's hand still interlaced with yours, he watches you as your intertwined hands caress over his face. You watch back staring at him with a bittersweet smile.

"I love you."

"I love you more." And he reached over to plant a gentle kiss on your lips.

Now, you weren't stupid. As soon as you regained consciousness the Doctor's gave it to you straight, and of course you were destroyed to find out that there was nothing they could do.

But what upset you the most was Matt.

We had everything planned out and it's all going to shit, because I can't physically be there with him. Create more memories with him. We're never going to go on 2am drives together again, never going to play fucking Mariokart with him again, and do stupid little things like shared face-masks, long hugs and deep talks, movie marathons and cooking monstrosities in the kitchen.

But he will do it with someone else.

He can marry another girl, and have kids, live right by Nick and Chris and go to Central with her.

While I'll watch and always know that it could've been me.

Maybe in another life.

The Doctor's told me it was a guy driving a white Ferrari. Had too much to drink and paid the consequences for it. They're burying him the day before my funeral.

It's such a weird thought. My funeral's in a couple days. Would I have scarring from all these wires? Would I be wearing my hospital gown? Who would show up?

Would Matt be there?

Would it be sad? Fuck, would they serve food after?

A guy came in for my will the other day and I told him all of my stuff me and Matt basically shared so he can decide what to do with everything. Obviously I gave my parents and Matt's brothers a respectful amount, but honestly I could care less, my stuff isn't as important compared to him.

"What are you thinking about sweetheart?" Matt gently moved my stray hairs from my forehead to the side.

"Nothing." I smile. He smiles back, and I can tell he knows I'm lying but he is perfectly fine living right now, without knowing.

I inhale sharply. "Matt?" He hums in response, sensing my hesitation. "How fast are you gonna move on?"

"I don't want to talk about that y/n." He says sternly.

"Why?" I retaliate, my brows furrowing. When he doesn't answer I huff and say quietly. "I've got just over 24 hours left Matt. I-It hurts to cough and sometimes I throw up blood-"

"No, no, no, no." He says loudly. "You're gonna make it baby. T-The Doctor's, they don't know jackshit okay. I-I- You can do this, I kno-"

"Matt... it's okay."

"No, its not." He sobs. "How could you leave me. It's not fair." He cries into my bed. "It's not fair, it's not fair. It should've been me."

"Shh, no it shouldn't have."

Matt hiccups. "Y-Y-es."

You feel hopeless, all you can do is stroke his hair and reassure him that it's going to be okay, when you both know damn well your not telling the truth.

Once Matt had calmed down, he rested his head on your bed, right next to your bandaged shins. Both of you were holding hands, his thumb stroking yours. You both were just staring at each other, no words to convey the amount of love both of you were pouring out of your tired eyes.

Suddenly Matt quietly speaks up, drifting his eyes from yours and onto the crisp white bedsheets. "I don't think I'll ever be able to move on from you." He mumbles. "I-I just... You were with me through everything. I can't comprehend how you're not going to be here one day, a-and it scares me that when you are gone-" He tremors again and you just hold his hand tighter. "That I won't know what the point of everything is without you. You're my everything a-and you're just gonna leave me." He starts crying. "I don't want you to leave."

"I don't want to leave either Matt. I don't- I don't want to die." You cry with him. Everything hitting you all at once.

Eventually you both fell asleep and when you woke up medics were by your side. You glance at Matt's sleeping figure then around to look at everyone. "It hurts."

A nurse crouches down to face you. "We're going to give you painkillers, so when you pass it doesn't hurt as much."

You nod, and you can feel tears falling down your face. "Okay." This was real. It was happening. "H-How long do I have left... To live?"

The nurse looks at you sympathetically. "Judging by your vitals we estimate a couple hours." She reaches out and caresses your hair. "It'll just be like falling asleep. In the meantime we'll all leave and I'm going to unhook you to some of these machines, so you can at least be more comfortable."

You can only nod. Your whole body is flooded with pain and you realise that this is it.

You're going to die.

You can feel Matt stirring, just as the nurse unhooks you off the last machine, and everyone leaves.

"W-what's going on?" All of a sudden he's alert and checking his surroundings.

All you can do is softly smile at him and try your best not to burst into tears.

"Matt." You manage out. "It's happening."

Matt swore his whole world fell out of place. You continued. "They um- They gave me pain medication so I won't feel it and the-the nurse said it's like falling asleep."

"How long?" Matt felt like he didn't even recognise his own voice.

"A couple hours."

Matt gulped, but it felt like he swallowed a rock. "So what are you going to do?"

"Lie with me... please?"

Matt didn't even feel the rough scratch of your sheets or heard the creak of the bed. Facing you he said, "I can't even process this."

"So don't."

He just nodded and went down under the covers further. "Can I please hold you?... Just one last time."

It took everything in you not to start sobbing right there. "Yes Matt. You can."

So he gently took your body and moved it towards him, cradling you into him and holding you like if he lets go you would leave. Because you just might.

He was gonna miss you.

God, he was gonna miss you so much.

After an hour you spoke up.

"What were we going to do if we got to Central."

Matt looked down at you and smiled. "Well, last time I went I saw the prettiest bookstore ever and I instantly thought of you, so I figured that would've been our first stop. And of course, knowing you that would eat up a couple hours."

You laughed a bit, which made tears form in Matt's eyes. He's never going to hear that again.

"And then what?"

Matt sniffed. "And then I made a dinner reservation."

Your eyes gently shut and your heart rate slowed.

"Best carbonara in town. So naturally I had to take you there. Uh- It was an outside booking, and already a nice day, so I thought you would've loved it."

"Mhm, keep going." Snuggling into his warm chest, trying to ignore the pain shooting through you at a rapid pace.

"And then there was this park." He said softly. "Big open area, moonlit pond... fairy lights."

You smiled into his chest, the pain becoming numb as you felt it slowly encase you. "That sounds beautiful."

"It is, you would've loved it. They have little paths where you can walk around." You felt your pulse slowly fade. "And when we would get to a spot, I would hold you and tell you that I love you. And that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. That your all that matters to me. I would list every little thing I love about you. Your hair, your eyes, your joy and how much you make my life better. You know why sweetheart? Because I love you. I love you so much okay? So whenever you feel like you have to let go, just know that I love you and that I will always love you, forever and ever and ever......"

"Y/n?"

"Sweetheart, are you awake?"

"Y/n? Oh my god, no, please."

"Y/n please wake up. Please."

"No, not yet."

"Not yet."

"Don't leave me."

"I love you."

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧.˚ₓ

Rain was pouring down heavily, as Matt got out of the car, double checking to see if he missed anything.

Matt felt heavy as he stepped along the gravel path, trudging towards the place where he spent most of his time.

He gently sat down next to you, ignoring the uncomfortable wet soil. Staring at you Matt remembered one of the things he bought and held it up to you. "I got you more flowers." He softly smiled. "I know your probably sick of them by now but they were half off so, you know."

Sighing he plucked at the grass in front of him. "Not much has happened. Except, you know Alisha? From my management team. I told you about her a couple weeks ago. She's new. Anyways, she-uh... She asked me out on a date. A-and I told her I'd think about it. She's great but... she's nothing like you." He mumbled. "I don't think anyone's ever going to be like you."

There was a brief silence until he spoke up again.

"Do you remember when I told you I'd never move on from you. I-It's true. Nothing can ever compare to you... But I know, for reasons I'd never understand, you would've wanted me to move on. So I thought I'd do this as um... closure? Just in case, but one of my biggest regrets is never doing this sooner because I was too scared." He lightly chuckled.

Matt stood up and reached into his pocket, suddenly feeling nervous.

"At Central." He whispered just so you could hear. "After the dinner and after we would explore the park and find the spot. And I was gonna tell you how much you mean to me and how I want to spend the rest of my life with you." Matt slowly pulled out a small box from his front pocket. "And then I was gonna get down on one knee and ask you to marry me." He whispered. Matt opened the box and gently placed it on the soil, littered with flowers he got you.

"I hope you would've said yes."

He stood in front of your grave.

"Goodbye, sweetheart."

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧.˚ₓ

"If you think about it, it'll be over in no time

And that's life."

WHEW

No bc I sobbed so hard writing this like goddamn

Shoutout to whoever said to put this out or they'd touch me wtf😃

But you guys rlly loved part 1 so here is your finale <3

Stay tuned see ya

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Still With You | A Jeon Jungkook Series | Chapter 5

Summary: Jungkook comes to pick you up for your "date". Pairing : Luna (reader) x Jungkook and Jimin, f2l love triangle Word Count: 5.7k~ Warning: Explicit Language, a panic attack and mentions of death by car accident (nothing graphic) a/n: I already had this written so I thought I would post the next part to kind of fill up the gap before the next update for Just Take It Start from the beginning

After coming back to the store from my meet up with Jimin I can't help but space out while, waiting for time to pass by. Jungkook's coming to pick me up for our "date" as he likes to call it soon and I get a bit nervous thinking about how things are gonna go. I hope he likes what I have planned but knowing him, he would probably enjoy doing anything as long as we're together. 

That's why our friendship work so well. We can literally be laying down on the floor and staring at the ceiling and still have so much fun just talking about anything and everything. Then once we run out of things to say we never feel pressured to keep the conversation going. We just sit in comfortable silence. 

I do admit that half the time when that happens I end up falling asleep, but Jungkook doesn't seem to mind. He'll just sit there or lay there next to me and play with my hair which only helps me fall into an even deeper sleep. My favorite place in the whole world is when I'm with him. I just feel so safe that it doesn't even matter where we are. 

I can't help but smile thinking of all the times we've spent together and how much he's helped me since the beginning. He was there for me when I got my first period and even though he didn't know what was going on, he still stayed with me and helped take care of me. We were in middle school but he still showed that sense of maturity in him that I always admired. Although I wish some of it would've rubbed off on me. 

I feel like I've still got a lot to learn and I'm still so naïve when it comes to a lot of things. Jungkook is there for me when times get tough that I'm not sure if I could've gotten though half of the things I've gone through if it wasn't for him.

The time that Jungkook and I met wasn't the happiest time in my life and but somehow he showed up and helped me through it. We met on the day of my parent's funeral. 

I was only six and I was in the car with them but I was the only one who survived. Everyone came back to my old house after the funeral service was done and I just couldn't handle being there without my parents by my side anymore so I ran to the park and hid on my own behind a tree and cried my eyes out. 

I hadn't cried since the accident happened and I knew that if I broke down in front of everyone or went to my room I would just get scolded. They would probably say I was being selfish and some of them resent me because my parents didn't survive, especially my grandmother. 

She used to be kind and loving but once my parents died she blamed me for taking her son away from her. She even told me that she would trade me for him if she could when it hit the ten year anniversary of their death. 

The time she said that was the last time I ever saw her. I was seventeen and done with being reprimanded for the fact that I survived. They act like I was the one who caused the crash or that I could've somehow prevented it. 

While I was crying at the park after the funeral a little boy came up to me because he had heard me crying. 

Some kids might tease you for crying or try to figure out why you're upset, but not him. He simply sat next to me and stayed with me until I calmed down. He asked me what my name was and I told him and he offered up his name right after "My name is Jungoogie but my real name is Jungkook. But you can call me whatever you want" he said simply with a smile. 

He reached out his hand to help me up off the ground and asked me if I wanted to play with him. I was hesitant at first but said okay and we played for hours before he had to go. "I'm sorry Luna but I have to go now, my mom says dinner is ready. Do you wanna play again sometime?" he said with a cute bunny smile. I noded my head in turn, happy to have made a new friend.

He waved goodbye and ran off towards his mom "Meet me back here tomorrow and we can play tag!" he yells turning to me and waving once more before running down the street back to his house. After that day we played together everyday after school until it was time to go home. 

I moved to a different part of the city when we got a bit older but Jungkook begged his mom to send him to the same school as me and so we could stay together. We were in the same class, we joined all the same clubs, we even had the same backpack. We were inseparable. 

Grey came along later and with how antisocial and lonely she seemed most days in class I couldn't help but adopt her into our friend group. She had come in at the middle of the year school year in 6th grade and I just wanted her to have at least one friend. 

I know I hated being left out when I was younger so I just kept bugging her everyday until she finally accepted the fact that I wasn't gonna leave her alone. From then on the three of us have been the best of friends. Although most days Grey still acts like she can't stand us I know that she loves us in her own way.

Once I start to come out of the fog that is my daydream I realize that it's almost time for him to come get me. 

"I so excited for tonight!" I gush to Grey. "Did I ask?" she responds checking out her cuticles sounding uninterested. "Oh come on I know you're just jealous" I say nudging her shoulder teasingly. "Jealous? Of you and Jungkook? I'm just happy you two are gonna leave me alone for the rest of the night. Just make sure to finish up your share of the work before you leave" she says reminding me that I am in fact still on the clock. 

"Shit, yeah about that" I start off tentatively. "No Luna you've been slacking off all night, you cannot leave me to do all of your work for you" she says ready to cut me off before I can even ask. "Oh come on, I promise I'll make it up to you I swear! Plus you came in late today so I could've had this all done if I wasn't left alone for so long" I say guilt tripping her. She rolls her eyes and I can see her defense slowly crumbling. 

"Lunch for a week" she huffs out. "Thank you thank you thank you! You're an absolute gem!" I say giving her a quick squeeze. "Yeah whatever, can you at least straighten up the snacks over there until he comes to pick you up?" she says waving her hand over towards the shelves in question while scrolling through her phone clearly becoming more and more uninterested in my existence. "Yup you got it!" I say while heading over to take care of it.

I end up humming some random song while rearranging all of the various misplaced items. I wonder if I should buy some to go along with the other food I brought. I ponder this while putting the finishing touches on the section. "Guess who" I hear someone say behind me while covering my eyes. 

"Kook! Happy Friendiversary!" I say while turning around to give him a huge hug. "Happy Friendiversary Luna but haven't I told you to stop day dreaming while at work. Someone could really end up sneaking up on you or wor-". I hold my hand up to stop his lecture before it goes any further. 

"No more nagging tonight, it's a special occasion right? Let's just relax and have a good time alright?" I say bringing my hand down and grab his in turn. "Wow Noona when did you suddenly become a rapper?" he says with a cheeky smile. I lift my arm up to hit him but he dodges before I can make contact. 

"Alright alright no more nagging" he says, finally giving in. I thought for sure that he would try to protest a bit further but luckily he decides against it. "Are you ready to go?" he asks starting to perk up again. "Yep last thing is for us to pick out some snacks and drinks before we leave and then we'll be good to go. Do you have anything in mind?" I say already knowing his answer but I can't help but want to see the joy on his face as he picks out his favorite snacks. 

"Yes, and I'm paying!" he says, rushing around the store. "But wait I was the one who mentioned it!" I say in protest. "Yeah but you brought the rest of the food right?" he says. "Touché" I respond, shaking my head.

Once we're done I grab the picnic basket, my bag and some blankets from the back and we say goodbye to Grey as he leads me over to where his brother's truck is parked. "Wow is it just me or does this look a lot nicer?" Jungkook chuckles at me in response. "No it's not just you. He got a newer version of the same model" he informs me. 

"Oh okay that makes sense! Looks like it's a bit smaller though" I say concerned about the space. "Yeah it looks smaller but I promise once you get inside it's actually quite spacious. Why are you worried about that though? You've been very secretive about this whole thing so I'm starting to get anxious" he teases. 

"Hey have I ever let you down?" I say walking around to the passenger side and getting in. "Yes, multiple times" he responds with a straight face, answering the question very seriously in a way to tease me further while he goes and gets in on the driver's side. Leaving me scoffing in response while getting in the car. 

"Hey I'm just being honest here" he says with a mischievous grin on his face. "Do you really want me to list them off because it might take a while. Okay well there was this one ti-" "Okay okay I get it you can stop now" I say placing my hand over his mouth. I expect him to lick my hand in response like he always does but this time he decides to kiss it instead. I widen my eyes not sure how I should respond and I can feel my cheeks start to warm up. I yank my hand back after he decides to deliver a few more kisses clearly satisfied with my reaction.

"Why are you being so weird today?" I ask, laughing it off. "I don't know what you're talking about" he says ,sitting back to put his seatbelt on. I mirror his actions and try to shake off the butterflies that had suddenly crept up on me. He backs out of the parking lot and flawlessly with one hand on the steering wheel and the other on the back of my headrest taking quick glances to the back when necessary. I can smell his sent from here and I can't help but feel myself getting intoxicated by it. 

"You okay?" he asks, looking over at me now having turned his body a bit more to gain a wider view out the back window to make backing up a bit easier which ends up making our proximity closer than what I had anticipated. I mentally curse myself for glancing down at his lips which he clearly saw me do since he currently has his full attention on me. 

"I- um- yeah I'm fine" I say getting a bit flustered yet again. "You sure?" he questions further with a slight chuckle. "Mhm" I respond, afraid I'll say something stupid. 

"Okay so..." he starts, "So?" I question by echoing him, feeling a bit perplexed. "Are you gonna tell me where we're going or am I gonna have to read your mind?" he teases again this time accompanied with a half smile that makes my heart flutter. "Oh yeah my bad, just go here" I say putting the address into the navigation system. He glances over at me and shakes his head while making the first turn out of the parking lot.

"Okay spill there's clearly something going on with you" he says not giving up on me. "I'm just nervous about tonight. I'm afraid you might not like it or think it's weird" I say giving an excuse that isn't totally truthful but it'll work for now. 

"Luna you know that as long as we're together I couldn't care less what we do. Now just take a deep breath and pull up your playlist, you're the DJ this time" he says while handing me the aux cord. I glance over at him with childlike joy as I quickly plug my phone in and start playing some of our favorite songs. 

The atmosphere starts to get a bit more comfortable after I start to loosen up with the music and I eventually forget why I got so nervous in the first place.

"You know I really missed you" he says all of a sudden glancing over at me. "What makes you say that?" I say chuckling a bit at the random sentiment. "Can't a guy just miss his best friend? I feel like it's been ages since I last saw you" he says with a slight pout. "Kook you just saw me a couple days" I say laughing again. 

"So? I like spending time with you" he say defiantly. "Well unfortunately that's what happens when you grow up. We're not kids anymore Kook" I say starting to feel a bit sad at the fact. "Hey no sad talk! We're supposed to be having fun right?" he says pushing away those negative feelings. 

"Yeah, you're right" I say admitting fault. "Why don't you tell me about your day" he says showing interest but still keeping his eyes on the road which gives me a chance to admire his side profile. I can't help but notice the scar on his face even in this dim lighting and I still remember how he got it. Time really does fly.

"Y/n" he says calling me back to reality. "Huh what?" I say embarrassed that I got caught staring at him. "How was your day?" he repeats chucking at my awkward demeanor. "Oh um, it was okay, not very eventful. Although I did see a man outside chasing a pigeon for a couple of hours" I say laughing at the memory. 

"What? Why?" he says with amusement and disbelief laced in his tone. "All I know is he never did catch that bird" I end shaking my head. "Sounds like the bird put up a good fight" he says, shaking his head in unison. "Any grown man that's crazy enough to chase a bird around is definitely someone I would not want to be around" he finishes. 

"What about that one time the bird in our 6th grade class escaped?" I say teasing. "I thought we agreed to never speak of that day" he says suddenly getting serious. "Oh come on, it was hilarious the way he-" "Nope shut up" he says cutting me off. "Ya! How dare you tell your Noona to shut up!" I say faking offense. "But I'll let it slide this time since it's our anniversary" I finish with a cheeky smile. He rolls his eyes as we continue our journey to our destination.

As as we come upon the small mountain range the navigation system soon signals that we've arrived. "Um what are we supposed to do here?" he says a bit confused. "Shhh don't worry about it. Just go up here and turn right when you reach the dirt road and follow it all the way up okay?" I instruct. "Alright, you're the boss" he says laughing it off and following my instructions. 

Once we get to the end of the dirt road we reach a gate with a 'Private Property' sign hanging on it. "Hey I thought you said we weren't gonna do anything illegal!" he yells after me. "It's not illegal! Just, you know, private" I say brushing it off. "Uh huh" he says not convinced. I wave him forward after having opened the gate. 

"Have you been here before?" he asks once he turns the engine off and starts to get out. "Once, with Grey. Her family actually owns this property so you don't have to worry about us being here. Okay?" I say going up to him and placing my hand on his arm. "Okay" he says smiling down at me. I fell myself falling into his star filled gaze which eventually reminds me of why we're here.

"Oh! Right I forgot to tell you what we're doing here" shaking myself out of the slight trance I had fallen into. He shakes his head at me and waits for me to continue. "Stargazing" I say with childlike joy. "I know we had always talked about doing it some day but there are just too many lights in Seoul that it makes it difficult to see them so once I came here I just knew I had to bring you!" I finish off looking out at all the stars. 

I welcome the comforting embrace I feel wrapping around me from behind. "You're the best" he says resting his head on top of mine. "I know" I say in amusement. "No for real this is amazing" he says encouraging me to look up at him. "I'm glad you like it" I say smiling up at him. I feel those butterflies from earlier start to flutter again and I have to drag my gaze back up towards the sky. 

"Should we start getting the stuff out of the car?" I suggest. "Yeah, in a minute" he says tightening his embrace around me. This moment feels way more intimate than I had planned for but I can't help but enjoy the feeling. After another minute or two I nudge his side in an effort to get him to release me, "Come on let's set everything up". "Okay okay" he says, letting go but not before placing a soft kiss on top of my head.

Soon after we've finished putting the final touches on everything I step back and admire our hard work. We've laid down some blankets and pillows in the truck bed and we have a picnic basket full of all the food I had prepared, paired with the snacks Jungkook bought and my laptop fully charged with Netflix pulled up. Jungkook gets into the back and makes himself comfortable. 

"So are you just gonna stand there all night or what?" he says teasing me for not getting in fast enough. I throw my head back in playful irritation, letting out a sigh and coming back up to give him a slight smile. "Then come here" he says with his arm held out to help me up. Once I'm up and go to sit down he holds onto my hips and guides me down to sit right next to him. If I was any closer to him I would be on his lap. 

I look up at him after settling in his embrace. "What?" he questions with a sheepish smile on his face. "Nothing I say turning my attention towards my laptop. "So what are we watching?" I question. "I don't have anything in mind" he says looking up at the stars. "Well are you hungry?" I question laughing at his indifference. 

"Can you just put some music on? I wanna stargaze for a bit" he says, keeping his eyes on the sky. "Sure" I reply, smiling at his concentration. I put a low-fi playlist on low and lean back into his embrace. We stay there and look up at the stars in silence for a while, enjoying the peace and tranquility of the moment.

"Hey" I say in a hushed tone looking up at him. "Hmm" he hums, bringing his gaze back down to me. "Penny for your thoughts?" I ask, feeling slightly breathless at the proximity. He decides go back to looking up at the stars before he starts to answer. 

"Just thinking" he says mindlessly. "About?" I question. "Stuff" he says. "What kinda stuff?" I say playing into his game. "All kinds of stuff" he says and I can't help but get tired of the guessing game. I playfully hit his chest in response, "Ouch!" he groans looking down at me while clutching his chest. 

"I thought we told each other everything" I say pulling away and facing him with my arms crossed over my chest. "You'll know soon enough" he says poking me in my side making me flinch. "Yah! I told you to stop doing that" I say hitting his chest again. "I'm sorry your reaction is just too adorable I can't help it" he says laughing at my irritation. "Whatever" I say exasperated 

"So are you hungry now because I haven't eaten since lunch" I say hoping he's ready to start eating as well. "Nah maybe later" he says sitting back and dragging me along with him knowing that I won't eat without him. "Hey come on I'm hungry" I say, dragging my words out. "Alright fine let's eat" he concedes, sitting back up and letting me go but not before giving me another jab in my side.

Once we finish eating and pull up a movie to watch I can feel him getting a bit restless. 

"What's wrong?" I ask, pulling away from his embrace, concerned with his demeanor all through out the night. "What makes you think somethings wrong?" he answers my question with a question. "You've been acting really weird, like I don't know, different. You're starting to make me nervous" I admit. 

"Nervous how?" he say sitting up and reaching out for my hand. "I don't know I can't really describe it" I say jumping a bit at the contact. "Try" he urges while starting to play with my fingers. "I feel like every time you touch me my skin starts to heat up. When you look at me I can't help but want to either look the other way or get lost in your eyes. When you get too close I start to feel butterflies in my stomach. I'm confused" I say looking away, embarrassed to admit it and contradicting my previous claim. 

"Are you sure I'm the one that's acting different?" he asks, trying to catch my gaze. "Why are you making me feel like this?" I ask, hoping he has the answers like he always does. "Do you wanna know what I was thinking about earlier?" he asks, coming closer and bringing his hand up towards my face to cup my cheek. "Yes" I say getting breathless again. "This" he says leaning in and bringing his face closer to mine.

"I-" I choke out looking down at his lips and back into his eyes once I realize he stopped right before making contact. "I'm not gonna do anything you don't want me to" he says while letting his breath fan my face. "It's your choice" he says glancing down at my lips. I wait a second hesitating before I take a quick breath and close my eyes before leaning forward just enough to make contact. 

It's a soft chased kiss, he tastes so sweet and I can't help but want more. It's over just as quickly as it had started and he pulls away slightly making eye contact and once he sees that I wanted it just as much as he did he leans in again, deepening the kiss and placing his hand on my waist in an effort to pull me closer. 

I oblige and make moves to do just that and he accelerates the process by dragging me over making me straddle his lap. "Hasty are we?" I tease. "Shut up" he says quickly going back in to continue kissing me like I might disappear if he stops. 

It all starts to get more intense once he starts to add tongue, leaving me pulling away for a second, resting my forehead against his in an effort to catch my breath. "You okay? Is this okay?" he asks sounding just as breathless as me. "Yeah just- just give me a second" I say trying to clear the fog that's clouding my judgement at the moment.

"Kook" I say in an effort to get his attention which is ultimately unnecessary since he hasn't been able to take his eyes off me since we started kissing. "Hmm?" he hums waiting for me to continue. "I don't think we should be doing this" I say worried about what his reaction might be. "Why?" he asks, searching my face for answers since I'm not getting them out fast enough. 

"I don't know it's just- well you're my best friend" I start off. "And you're mine" he says reciprocating my statement. "We've been friends since we were kids and I really don't want to mess that up. I care about you too much to do that and I don't want to lose you" I say looking down at my lap suddenly getting shy. 

"Hey" he says placing his finger under my chin to angle my face up regaining eye contact. "You're never gonna lose me" he says with a slight smile. "Well what if we do this and it ends badly? What if one of us gets hurt and we can't go back to how we used to be? What if-" I ramble off but am soon cut off by Jungkook's lips on mine. 

"You worry too much. Y/n it's just me and I'll love you no matter what. You know that right?" I turn away and look off to the side, shy under his piercing gaze. "Kook I-" I start. "Do you love me?" he says cutting me off again. "Of course I love you" I say looking back up at him. "No but do you love me? Like do you think you might be in love with me?" he clarifies vulnerability written all over his face. "Do you think you could fall in love with me?" he says above a whisper, looking back down at my lips waiting for my response.

"I don't know" I say getting off his lap. "Don't know what? You don't think you could fall in love with me?" he asks, pleading for an answer. "I'm confused okay. I don't know how I feel about everything. It's all gotten so complicated, I just- I don't know okay" I throw my head into my hands and feel myself tear up, overwhelmed with all these old and new feelings resurfacing all at once. 

"Luna" he says placing his hand on my thigh when he starts to see the onset signs of a panic attack. "Y/n come here" he says, pulling me closer, shielding me for the cold that had suddenly become more apparent. 

He's been there for me through almost all of my panic attacks and knows exactly how to get me to ride out the wave and gradually calm me down. He knows that I feel safe with him and so he makes sure to use that when I need it most. Pulling a blanket over the two of us he holds me in a gentle embrace and places soft kisses on my temple. 

"It's okay you don't have to say anything, let's just focus on getting through this. It's just me, I'm sorry if I scared you. I'm so sorry" he apologizes, rubbing my back and bringing me back down, hoping to soothe all of the muscles in my body that started to tense up and bring my breathing back to normal. I grab onto his shirt and tug on it in an effort to ground myself, still shaking I start crying into his chest which only worsens the tight feeling I have coiled up in my chest.

My panic attacks aren't usually this bad but for some reason it just started to wash over me. I haven't had a lot of time to process much of anything these days and even when I do I fill up that time with distractions in an effort to drown out all of the thought running through my head that make me dizzy. 

I started to have them around the time my parents passed away and after I met Jungkook. Looking back on it he didn't really do much of anything, he just sat there and waited patiently for me to stop crying, just like he did when we first met. But once we got closer it evolved to him holding onto me to help calm me down and talking me through it a bit. 

Ever since the beginning he wanted to make sure I never felt the need to hide and cry alone like that ever again. He wanted to give me more reasons to smile and laugh than cry. Or at least that's what he's told me. He starts to make an effort to make his breaths more audible trying to get me to follow along with him and I so the best that I can. 

Once I do I pull away and keep my eyes turned down, trying to hide my embarrassment. You think by now I wouldn't be embarrassed by it anymore but I can't help it. Once I stop sniffling and he hears my breathing get back to normal he grabs my face and wipes off my tear streaked cheeks with so much love and care. I didn't realize until now that he really has been in love with me for a very long time, I was just too naïve to notice. 

"You okay baby?" he asks with the term of endearment he knows brings me so much comfort. I don't let anyone but him call me that, it just feels so right hearing it coming from his lips, especially when he knows that I need him. I nod my head finally feeling a bit more grounded.

"Can I have some water?" I ask quietly. "Of course" he says and reaches around me to grab one of the bottles he had bought. "Thank you" I say after he hands it to me. He starts rubbing my back again while I gulp it down, suddenly feeling incredibly parched. 

"How long has it been since you had one that bad?" he asks cautiously hoping it won't cause me to start spiraling again. "A while" I say looking down, knowing it's a lie, and he sees right through it. 

"Baby please I wanna be there for you when things like this happen. You've gotta be honest with me or I won't know how to help you" I nod in acknowledgment. I can feel him reluctantly start to drop the subject but I know he doesn't want me to shut him out. 

"I-it was last month" I say, clearing my throat to help me get it out. "Last month? Why didn't you tell me?" he asks gently. "You were hanging out with your college friends and I knew you were looking forward to it so I didn't want to bother you" I admit. "Luna if you really need me, especially for something like this you can always call me. You are my number one priority, you come first" he says holding onto my hand.

I look up making eye contact, knowing he truly means what he says. "Okay" is all I can say in response, giving him a sad smile. 

"We should probably head out, it's getting pretty cold" he says, bringing his arms back in, rubbing his hands together in an effort to get warmer. "Do you think we could stay out here a bit longer? The stars look so beautiful right now" I ask, looking up at the sky feeling a bit better. He sees the change in my mood and realizes that I need this. "Let me get another blanket" he says showing his agreement. I nod my head and continue looking up, not sparing him a glance this time. 

He comes back around after having rummaged through the car in search of some hand warmers as well. "You're so smart" I say catching the hand warmer and opening package shaking them to activate it. "I know" he replies, copying my cheekiness from earlier. I roll my eyes and toss one to him. 

"Luna" he calls after me. "Huh?" I say looking back at him and I can't help but notice that he's wearing the kind of expression you would see someone make towards someone they truly love. "Come here" he says repeating his sentiment from not too long ago. I rush over to him, this time getting as close to him as I can after feeling a sudden breeze blowing past us.

"Jungkook" I say, "Yes baby?" he replies, looking down at me. "Thank you" I say, giving him a slight smile. "You're welcome" he says, mirroring my smile knowing that no more words need to be said. I feel myself starting to get lost in his eyes once again realizing that the most beautiful stars were in his eyes all along.

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[generic-wattpad-badboy]

MHA LOV incorrect quotes

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*

 Shigaraki: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

 Everyone:

 Kurogiri: ...I did. I broke it.

 Shigaraki: No. No you didn't. Y/N?

 Y/N: Don't look at me. Look at Spinner.

 Spinner: What?! I didn't break it.

 Y/N: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

 Spinner: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

 Y/N: Suspicious.

 Spinner: No, it's not!

 Dabi: If it matters, probably not, but Toga was the last one to use it.

 Toga: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

 Dabi: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

 Toga: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Dabi!

 Kurogiri: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Shigaraki.

 Shigaraki: No! Who broke it!?

 Everyone:

 Dabi: Shigaraki... Y/N's been awfully quiet.

 Y/N: rEALLY?!

 *Everyone starts arguing*

 shigaraki, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.

 Shigaraki: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

 Shigaraki:

 Shigaraki: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

Shigaraki: I CAN'T DO IT!

Y/N, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER!

Shigaraki: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE

spinner: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US.

Shigaraki:

Shigaraki: I appreciate it,

Shigaraki: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH-

Dabi: Shigaraki-

Shigaraki: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!

Toga: Shigaraki we gotta-

Shigaraki: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.

Shigaraki: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?'

Shigaraki, motioning to Hawks: NOT FUCKING THIS

Kurogiri: Just be yourself.

Shigaraki: 'Be myself'? Kurogiri, I have one day to win Y/N over. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?

Toga: Couple weeks.

Spinner: Six months.

Dabi: Jury’s still out.

Shigaraki: See, Kurogiri?

Shigaraki: 'Be myself'. What kind of garbage advice is that?

Shigaraki: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?

twice: Nope, absolutely not.

Toga: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through.

Spinner: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life.

Dabi: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you.

Y/N: I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome.

Kurogiri : You know those things will kill you, right?

 Mr compress, pouring another glass of whiskey: That’s the point.

 Dabi, smoking a cigarette: We’re trying to speed up the process.

 Toga: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough

Y/N: Don't worry, I got a plan.

Shigaraki: Alright.

Y/N: TraitorSayWhat?

Hawks: Excuse me?

Y/N: What?

Shigaraki:

Y/N:

Y/N: No wait-

Dab: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million gold?

Y/N: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house.

Toga: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million.

Y/N: Good thinking.

Dabi: Why are you on the floor?

Y/N: I'm depressed.

Y/N: Also I was stabbed, can you get kurogiri,

Shigaraki: I trust Y/N.

Dabi: You think they know what they're doing?

Shigaraki: I wouldn't go that far

[lullaebies]

What do you think they will do with Daeron and how they’ll introduce him in the show?

Truth is that I don't really know what they'll go for.

While the show really failed Aegon and Helaena in my opinion, I think there is some point in saying that in the cases of Alicent and Aemond they've made good efforts in making them sympathetic. Daeron, to me, is probably the most sympathetic fighting Green - 15 year old and fighting a losing war as he hears his entire family is dying or horrible shit is happening to them, initially talked of as gentle and courteous but ends up corrupted by war and dying young. If the show does indeed plan on presenting him that way, then I think we will probably get to know him in Oldtown speaking to Lord Ormund about the upcoming war. I would have him about as young as Luke (as Jace seems to be around Aemond's age in the show) and have Alicent and Ormund not wanting him to fight because he is young, a dragonrider his age JUST died. It's insane in the Hightower when the news of Luke's death comes because aside from the knowledge war is coming, its also like 'holy shit, my brother's a kinslayer' - but also he knows the history between Aemond and Luke, so it sits in him conflicted. Blood and Cheese happens; Daeron is at the funeral/hears about it and any remorse left for the Blacks leaves. While he was already on his brother's side to begin with, the cause is cemented for him and he really wants to fight. Lord Ormund refuses. By the end of the season he disobeys those orders to save Ormund and their troops at Honeywine with Tessarion: this would be his arc for his first season. This is an INCREDIBLY hopeful take, which we have zero evidence is even indicated for, but I mean, it's what I'd like, at least. I'm assuming that in any case, we're going to see the Hightower and Lord Ormund this season, so at least some discusing and an intro for Tessarion is due. There were talks and rumors of making him a bastard or gay to make it seemed he was shunned out of KL for it - I think its bullshit personally. I just don't see the need to pack it in, Viserys was a zombie and Alicent wouldn't want a young kid to see that, Oldtown has kin and warding is a normal practice. If they are smart, the show will use the royal child warding to show House Hightower seems more important now in the Reach and this is one of the reasons House Tyrell is divided in its support for the Greens (House Tyrell not wanting to lose influence and seeing the possibility of it through such actions). Now you can't know what they'll do, but all I hope is that they give him the time he deserves - they CEEEERTAINLY failed him last season.

[sapphire-weapon]

Ok since Ashley and Leon are canon in RE4R, do you think there's a way for them to actually be together? Isn't their situation pretty much impossible since she is the president's daughter and the president's is Leon's direct boss.

I would love to see more of Ashley in the future and to see her interact with Leon after RE4, but I honestly don't see how they could have a relationship, mostly because I feel Leon wouldn't allow himself to get too close to her with his position as an agent and because he probably hates himself and think she deserves better.

What do you think?

The realistic and honest answer is: Leon and Ashley will never be together because Capcom will never commit to the ship, because they don't commit to ships in RE. The only reason why they ever committed to Aeon was because Hideki fucking Kamiya was the director of OG RE2, and he doesn't give a fuck. So, once Kamiya already made a kiss and a declaration of love canon, Capcom was like "welp. I guess we're stuck with that."

The more story-based answer is: President Graham resigns a few months after RE4 (like, basically right after Infinite Darkness) so it's not like Leon and Ashley are going to be stuck in limbo for four or even eight years of her dad's presidency. And, chances are, Leon consciously decided to give Ashley some space after returning home because he didn't want her to become dependent on him.

So, by the time President Graham resigns, that's probably around the time that Leon would want to reach back out to Ashley anyway just to check on her and see how she's doing -- especially since her dad is leaving office and it's not like he'll be able to just drop in on her whenever anymore.

So, the whole "boss's daughter" thing, I don't think would be an issue.

I also don't think that Leon's self-loathing would be an issue, either. I've said it before in previous meta, but I am not entirely sure that Leon actively realizes that he's started to feel some type of way about Ashley -- or, if he does, he's purposefully repressing it. So, I think any developing relationship would happen the same way. I don't think Leon would realize just how serious or intense things were getting until it was too late for him to just back down.

And then, at that point, it's like... A serious conversation has to happen. I don't think Leon's #1 thing would be "I'm not good enough for you." I think it would be more along the lines of "I don't want you to put your life on hold for me." Because, realistically, he can't just commit to being a regular boyfriend type of guy. He has no way of knowing when or even if he'll be around or for how long. He'll inevitably end up missing birthdays and anniversaries and weddings and funerals. They'll never be able to plan anything around his schedule, and he'll never be able to promise her anything, because any promise he makes is one he might not be able to keep.

There's also the issue of basically everything Leon does in his job/life being classified. Would he be willing to share his life with someone that he can't actually... share his life with?

So, at most...? I would see Leon and Ashley having the ultimate on again/off again relationship between his missions -- where, he disappears into radio silence for months on end, but then he inevitably drops back into her life for a few weeks of constant companionship and dates and hot sex, and every single time they tell each other "This has to stop, we can't keep doing this" because it's not fair to either of them emotionally, but it never actually does stop, because the emotions are real, and they both want the relationship to be real, but it just... can't be.

[egyx0s-brainrot]

(Not part of any of my AU´s) I sometimes wonder how would things go if Le´s friends knew about the whole Egyxos thing, so have some dumb/crack incorrect quotes.

Leo: Dumbest scar stories, go! Bernie: I burned my tongue once while drinking tea. Dale: I once dropped a hair dryer on my leg and burned it. Ramses: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade. Horus: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and got a bad burn. Kefer: Kefer: I have emotional scars.

-

Sobeck: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something? Bernie: Nope, absolutely not. Dale: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through. Leo: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life. Isis: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you. Neith: I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome.

-

Leo: I CAN'T DO IT! Bernie, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER! Leo: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE Dale: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US. Leo: Leo: I appreciate it, Leo: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH- Kefer: Leo- Leo: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE! Horus: Leo we gotta- Leo: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT. Leo: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?' Leo, motioning to Ramses: NOT FUCKING THIS

-

Leo: Hewwo. Bernie: Hihiiiiii! Dale: Greetings, Egyptians. Horus: Three kinds of people. Kefer: I want cake. Leo: Four kinds of people. Ramses: WHAT’S UP FUCKERS? Horus: Five kinds of people.

-

Bernie: Come on, Mr. Kefer! How many times do I have to apologize? Kefer: Once! Bernie: ...No.

-

Bernie: Can you name a single city in Oklahoma? Ramses: Oklahoma City, bitch!

-

Dale: Anyone d- Leo: Depressed? Hyksos: Drained? Neith: Dumb? Kefer: Disliked? Dale: -done with their work... what is wrong with you people...

-

Kefer: That sounds like a terrible plan. Dale: Oh, we've had worse.

-

(some LGBT headcanons ahead BOY!)

Ramses: I know you love them. Dale: I am not in love with Leo! Ramses, staring at Dale: I never said who... Dale: *realizes* Dale: Shit. Well, anyways-

-

Ramses: I assume you realize that this kind of idiocy will not be tolerated in this house. Bernie: Is there any kind of idiocy you would be more comfortable with?

-

Kefer: I dropped Leo. Dale: Kefer, what the fuck.

-

Ramses: All in all, a 100% successful trip. Dale: But we lost Kefer. Ramses: All in all, a 100% successful trip!

-

Leo: Does anyone else feel good when their brain releases a bunch of endorphins? Ramses: Can't relate. Dale: Why would my brain release a bunch of dolphins?

-

Leo: Dale is a perfect cinnamon scone who’s never done anything wrong in their entire life! Horus: Never done anything wrong?! They set a city block on FIRE!

-

Dale: What’s your biggest fear? Kefer: That I’ll never be good enough for anyone. Leo: Everyone hates me and talks about me behind my back. Bernie: Zombies. Kefer: ... Leo: ... Bernie: BUT they can open doors.

-

Kefer: Dale just said "I have an appetite for destruction" and then they reached down and untied my shoe.

-

Leo: How would you like your pancakes? Horus and Hyksos: Plain. Ramses: With strawberries, please. Dale: With sprinkles! Neith: Ice cream on the top. Bernie: Chocolate chips. Apis: Potatoes. *Everyone looks at Apis* Apis: What? They're good.

-

Wanna add some too?

I looooove these

Ummm

Ramses: I apologize for saying 'fuck' in front of Dale

Horus: You just did it again

Dale:

Ramses: I am not a good role model

☆ ☆ ☆

Hyksos: *on Earth to check up on the Trio* Hello, I just came to-

Hyksos: *sees Leo shoving Dale into the washine machine while Bernie records and Ramses watches*

Hyksos: *retreating* Something suddenly came up

☆ ☆ ☆

Kefer: You've got to learn to love yourself

Leo: But don't you hate yourself?

Kefer: Yeah, but this is about you. Stay focused

☆ ☆ ☆

Apis: What are your three best qualities?

Leo: I'm hot, I have soft hair, and sometimes I cry because I love my friends

☆ ☆ ☆

Bernie: Woah! That's the longest worm I've ever seen!

Kha: That's a snake

☆ ☆ ☆

Kha: Hyksos, no.

Hyksos: Hyksos, yes!

☆ ☆ ☆

Kefer: I'm going to need you to swear-

Leo: Fuck

Kefer:

Kefer: ...swear as in promise

☆ ☆ ☆

Bernie, holding a kettle: cofee or tea?

Neith: Tea

Bernie: Wrong. It's cofee

☆ ☆ ☆

Dale: Isn't this a bit dangerous?

Leo: Dale, please. We've been in a lot of unexpected predicaments before and we always escape unhurt.

Dale: ...

Leo: Ok, we sometimes escape unhurt.

Dale: ...

Leo: Alright, we escaped unhurt once... Then we hurt ourselves in the way home.

☆ ☆ ☆

Hyksos: Guess what number I'm thinking of!

Kha, rolling his eyes: 420?

Hyksos: No, that's really inmature of you. Someone else guess, and please take this seriously

Bernie: 69

Hyksos:  Yeah, it was 69

[backjustforberena]

you made a whole hc post about it!! ah this is so cool. a very solid yes to the whole thing. i think we’re definitely in a like mind about serra’s reaction and that whole process. from both the answer to my ask and the seperate post. i have nothing to say that you haven’t said BUT i do have this post i just saw which feels very berena: https://amarakaran.tumblr.com/post/695574270188929024/sk-lumen-a-lover-says-to-another-lover-youll

Thank you!!! To be honest, I could make a whole hc post about most things (currently contemplating one about cam's funeral shhhh), and it's nice that you reached out to say we're of similar minds. I sometimes worry I've got the whole thing wrong - but I suppose we are all allowed our own interpretation and so none of us can be wrong. Unless you are really wrong. ;)

A lover says to another lover, you’ll always have a home with me. I think that’s the best definition for love and friendship. People that become like a home, a place you can return to and feel safe in, a place you feel you always belong in.

This is amazing, thank you so much for sending it in. I've tried toying with this idea in various WIPs and metas, but I'm of the opinion that the 6-8 or however many months that Serena spends between quitting Holby and reuniting with Bernie... she gains a certain wanderlust. She likes to think she got it from Bernie - the appreciation for broader horizons, the appetite for adventures. That bravery that's always been there, that Bernie saw even before she did. But wherever she goes she's missing... something. She knows it's grief, knows herself well enough that it carries on.

She can't settle in Cornwall. So, Serena goes further afield. She's not entirely sure what she's looking for. The problem with suddenly feeling like she could do anything she wanted - that list she gave to Ric - is that she doesn't really yearn to do any of it. All her life, she's had a plan. Even when she was grieving Elinor. Now... now she doesn't know what she's doing. She does finally sell that leafy detached though. It feels like she should have done it years ago.

It's all to do with the future she aided in robbing from herself (the one with Bernie), but can't figure out what helps her soul more. To go to a place where she's not been before, nor has Bernie? Or a place where they'd visited together? Or somewhere she grieved for Elinor, that helped her then? Or maybe a place where Bernie had been, but she'd never set foot in? All combinations that she tries over the months. None of it quite works. All of it niggles, all of it feels like a stepping stone rather than anywhere she could truly settle. It doesn't feel like a home.

She goes to visit the NTC. A place she only saw briefly when Bernie gave her a tour during the one time she visited, right after it opened. Locums there, for a short contract, or something. Bernie is everywhere: the surgery Serena is doing is what Bernie would have been doing, she meets staff that knew Bernie (though IDK if she announces who she is/was!) but it still takes her a few days to spot a photograph on a wall -a picture of the grand opening, framed newspaper articles etc. A collection. A picture of Bernie she's not seen before. Quotes of her words. Bernie's everywhere, but it's not enough. She doesn't have any second thoughts about leaving when she's free to do so.

Serena is just starting to get to the point where she'll give up, return to England, find somewhere and call it a day. Dig her feet in. She goes to Spain, not looking for any work for once, just an extended holiday. A week or so into her stay... she gets the call.

[enchantechante]

My friends mom died and I've been doing my best to be there for him.When she died I found out through a friend via facebook then I text him and he confirmed.I knew she was in the hospital because I had already been communicating with his family about it while she was.He's also my ex(broke up because my schedule was getting in our way due to work and I realized I had no time for a bf)but we stayed close and his mom adored me.I like to give people space and let them deal with things in their own way because I know he has some issues mentally when things get really hard on him.I haven't heard from him in four days but saw him posting on facebook so I just text him before messaging you.I let him know we can get away if he wants to give himself a break and it's all on me.I just started feeling weird out of no where because... I was like,you know I have a lot going on in my life and my mom has cancer etc so I'm trying to be there for everyone even though I'm barely keeping it together but we're supposed to be best friends and I just don't hear from you at all. No update about his mom's service etc.And the last time we talked last week before his mom died his sister in law made a comment. She said... And this is why she(me)doesn't want to take you back now.He said something weird because he has anxiety bad and suffers from depression so he really just be in his own world but still... As a friend,am I wrong for feeling left out?I have no idea what is going on about anything plus I work 12-14 hour shifts five days a week so I can't just pop up late at night you know. I'm not trying to be an asshole I just feel like the fact he's not even from NYC and his fam and friends are on the other side of the world,he should reach out to his only friend here which is me.He does any other time.I'm just trying to be there and see what I can do but he's confusing me. Made me question our friendship too because before his mom died unexpectedly I had just told him we need to get together and talk about his behavior,us etc and he agreed. Smh. But I'm still not taking things too personal yet.I'll give him more time but we definitely need to talk about so much especially him claiming he wants me back.I am confused as hell.

Sis...

"not taking things too personal yet" / "he should reach out to his only friend here which is me". Maybe he's trying to fix that only-friend thing by reaching out "friends" on Facebook? You're literally taking that personal.

No shade but obviously you want him back but your current circumstances wont permit that.

So instead you're trying too hard to force a friendship with as much intimacy as possible (in person talks about "us", expecting him to reach out re: his family's funeral plans/feelings, getaways just for us two etc). He's going to have to move at his own pace with that while you work to accept where he's at with it.

If you don't accept his pace for things you're going to continue with these unrealistic expectations. You're gonna keep pouring out energy, finances, communication etc. With nothing in return. You're going to be very drained. In an effort to preserve your energy/resources for more important things (Like caring self care, like your mother, like being there for your family rn) put a hard pause on pouring out for your ex so you can pivot your energy for yourself.

Things aren't going to be what you expected.

No response is a response. No action is an action. It is a choice. And we have to honor that when it comes to others.

Rebuilding your friendship after this break up is going to take patience and equal effort. You can't coerce emotional intimacy. I believe that you deserve more for your effort, attention, time, love, and compassion than this. I just think you're asking it form the wrong person.

If you think your expectations are fair, then continue in that way. But if you want something different to happen other than what's already been happening you're going to have to try diff actions.

That being said - you don't have to block him. You don't have to never talk to him again. You're just going to have to wait it out. You're going to have to find a healthy way to distract yourself instead of giving into this person that gives nothing back.

It's not sustainable.

[starlightshadowsworld]

Like Canon, lil Aster finds his dad's dead body but in the Seto adopts Jaden/ Jaden adopts protags AU... He is very much in denial about that and tells the rest of the childhood friends his dad was kidnapped.

None of them are any wiser so they all get a pinboard, and are like don't worry Aster we'll find your dad.

Because yes they are all smart, from some of the wealthiest families in their world... But there still kids.

So when Seto hears about it from Jaden he finds Aster, who's staying with them while funeral plans and all that are arranged.

"Jaden tells me you're all meeting up later to look for clues" he says, almost casually and watches Aster freeze and give him a look that makes him look older than he should be.

It's one Seto gives people when he's reaching the end of his patience.

"We're going to find him..." He says, with so much conviction that if Seto hadn't seen the man's body he would've believed him. "Aster... You know where your dad is" he says, and he hates having to be the one to pull the blanket off his face and tell this kid... This small kid who's one of his nephews that no your dad is gone.

And he's not coming back.

But he has to, to let him live under that kind of dillusion would be heartless.

And Seto cares, cares too much. So he holds Aster as he tries to hit him with his little fists, when he stops and just shakily hugs Seto begging for him to fix this. Seto holds him, not saying a word.

And later Aster finds his friends "we're not going to find him..." He says, unable to look at anyone. "Huh? Hey now, sure we can" and something about that sparks a fire in him, makes the memories rush back "we can't... He's gone! I saw him... He's not coming back!"

The one who holds him is Adrian, those two were always fighting and arguing but here he held Aster in his arms. "I'm sorry, bout your dad" and that's all it takes for Aster to let it out, to breakdown in his arms, sobbing and finally letting himself grieve.

They all join in the hug, holding him letting him know they are there for him. They go to the funeral together, it's the first they've ever gone to and they stand around him like a wall, a sheild.

Aster gets adopted, by the man he'll in time learn was the one who killed his dad who he will dual in there second year. He calls Seto afterwards, telling him and about his death.

(Later I can so imagine Mokuba with some joke as he tries to lighten the mood like hey at least it wasn't Jaden who ended up following that tradition from you, Seto's just spluttering because wow and Asters laughing his ass off. Jaden's like jokingly like "I dunno uncle, sounds tempting")

[dorindameddler]

a braving light in a world so dark: a georgie/melanie playlist (spotify)

1. first love/late spring - mitski // 2. unforgiving girl (she's not an) - car seat headrest // 3. strange girl - laura marling // 4. reach out - sleater-kinney // 5. safe tonight - bat for lashes // 6. crying in public - chairlift // 7. don't delete the kisses - wolf alice // 8. it's not just me - let's eat grandma // 9. sick of spiraling - bachelor // 10. shut up kiss me - angel olsen // 11. marauders - thao & the get down stay down // 12. half colored hair - black belt eagle scout // 13. stay with me - margaret glaspy // 14. don't go puttin wishes in my head - torres // 15. walk with you - oceanator

selection of lyrics under the cut

first love/late spring

Wild women don't get the blues/But I find that lately, I've been crying like a tall child/So please, hurry, leave me, I can't breathe/Please don't say you love me/Mune ga hachikire-sōde/One word from you and I would/Jump off of this ledge I'm on, baby/Tell me, "Don't," so I can crawl back in

unforgiving girl (she's not an)

Well, everyone learns to live with themselves/And you're not the only one who's been through hell/So give me a sign that I'm not making love to myself/It's an unforgiving world/But she's not an unforgiving girl

strange girl

Woke up in a country who refused to hold your hand/Kept falling for narcissists who insist you call them 'man'/You work late for a job you hate that's never fit the plan/Stay low, keep brave/I love you, my strange girl/My lonely girl/My angry girl/My brave

reach out

Reach out, touch me, I'm stuck on the edge/Reach out, darkness is winning again/Reach out and see me, I'm losing my head/Reach out, I can't fight without you, my friend

safe tonight

Lying in the dark and I am out of time/There's a demon in my heart that I'm not sure we’ll survive/The shadows come around one too many times/Baby, I need you to tell me I'm safe tonight

crying in public

Take all my defenses in two words/And throw them away/ Tell me, what kind of monster/Have I been today?/But you smile and call me “tough guy”/To the opposite effect/It's a flower in the gun/And your tough guy's a wreck/Sorry I'm crying in public this way/I'm falling for you, I'm falling for you/I'm sorry I'm causing a scene on the train/I'm falling for you, I'm falling for you

don't delete the kisses

What if it's not meant for me?/Love/What if it's not meant for me?/Love/A few days pass since I last saw you/And you've taken over my mind/I'm retelling jokes you made that made me laugh/Pretending that they're mine/I wanna tell the whole world about you/I think that that's a sign/I'm losing self-control and it's you

it's not just me

Because the point is that I see it's not just me/The point is that you feel my company/You know I'll never be too far if you're looking for somebody/I'm here/It's not just me/I know you're feeling the same way/And I can't fail to believe/When you're feeling the same way/It's not just me

sick of spiraling

Walking alone at night/Clutching a cheap gas station knife/Love, the danger is in the car/Who couldn't see me it was too dark/As the brakes slam to the floor/Missing me just inches short/I thought, "If I can't have my own back/How the fuck can I have yours?"/You are a braving light in a world so dark/And I'm sick of spiraling out and I need your touch to stop/You are a braving light in a world so dark/And I'm scared out of my mind and I need your love

shut up kiss me

I could make it all go away/Tell me what you’re thinking, don't delay/We could still be having some sweet memories/This heart still beats for you, why can't you see?/Shut up, kiss me, hold me tight/Shut up, kiss me, hold me tight/Stop your crying, it's alright/Shut up, kiss me, hold me tight

marauders

My darlin', your patience, rain it on me/I know daughters of marauders are just so hard to please/I got that poison, carve it on out/Barely served me then/Only hurts me now/But you look like I could stay/Let all my intentions fall away/Kill all my defenses where they lay/Say all that's left to say

half colored hair

How you look at me/In the brightness of your room/Imagine the lightness of my fingers on your face/Run through your hair/Across your neck/Light breaks across your room/I never knew I'd like half colored hair so much/But in the light

stay with me

I've had nothing but trouble/And bad news on the line for such a long time/The only break I get is laughing 'tiI my eyes are wet/With you, you/Won't you stay with me?/I'll be on my best behavior/When it all shakes down—/Who's the clown, and who's the savior?

don't go puttin wishes in my head

I know promising forever's not your thing/But now if you don't want me to go dreaming/Don't spend your mornings and your evenings in my bed/If you don't want me believing that/You're never gonna leave me, darling/Don't go putting wishes in my head/So if we're calling off the funeral/Then I'm calling for a hitching/For a while, I was sinking/But from here on out, I swear I'm swimming

walk with you

When you were depressed and/You put your head on my chest and you told me/That you were tired of being tough/I took you by the hand and/Told you I understand and you told me/That could never be enough/But I will walk with you down the avenue though the streets are made of glass/And we will tread lightly on our heavy feet and avoid all of the cracks/It's a fragile place that we've ended in and one wrong move could shatter/But in the end will it matter?

[smeraldos]

In Which You Meet a Wizard Without Knowing

gif: @bts_westv on twitter

↬ characters: taehyung x reader

↬ genres: fantasy, adventure, a 'lil fluff. Howl's Moving Castle!AU

↬ words: 1.5K+

↬ summary: While your sisters dreamt of success and affluence, you stuck to what you knew. It was better that way. Less risky. For any who inquired, your hats went out into the world for you.

What you didn't expect was to encounter a mystery of a man, and along with him, a misadventure for two.

In all his years of drifting, the spirit has never met someone who sought him out. Some took a little coaxing, a little dangling of the fruit, and others took a slight push off the edge, but this.

This boy was ripe for the taking. He wasn’t innocent, no. He knew what he’d come for, and that pleased the spirit. He shrunk himself into the size of a kumquat and leapt into the boy’s hands. 

Once the deed is done, he began, there is no undoing.

The boy told him he knew. He was very solemn about it. He had the face of someone who could have become a great man.

The spirit looked at him with an expression often mistaken for pity. Then he told the boy to swallow him, and the boy’s heart was no more.

The rumors flying about the wizard V are quite sensational. 

They give him flair; an air of dark, beguiling intrigue he does not wish for, yet welcomes all the same. They give him a character to play. And now, he’s landed the part of a dashing escapee, leading his pursuers down a network of sharp turns and secret alleys. 

Ahead, the sun gleams like a penny scrubbed to shine. The sky is sweet and rosy. A guard courts a young lady…how trite. V would have left the two alone had he not noticed the lady, no lure of a smile or blush upon her cheeks.

You back away, your dress blending in with the wall. Your eyes search desperately for an escape, eventually finding his. Well. He sighs. It wasn’t as if he was planning to leave you be. That would be quite heartless.

"I'm late, aren't I?" V asks, announcing his presence. "Forgive me, I lost track of the time. To the theatre?"

You accept his proffered arm, hesitant. He can tell you're a bit wary, and rightly so.

“And where do you think you’re going?” The guard demands, blocking his exit. “The lady and I haven’t finished our talk.”

“With all due respect," V says, suppressing a scoff, "I think you are.”

In an instant, the guard stiffens. His eyes widen. “What--” He starts, but marches off before he can finish.

With that pest gone, V turns his attention back to you...who really can’t be more than twenty. You look dreary in your choice of attire -- gray shawl, gray dress, dull hat over a meek face. If it were not for your stunned look, he’d say you lacked spark. Yet his business lies not in assessing your appearance. He's running short on time. “Do you mind telling me where you’re headed?”

“Pardon?”

“I’ll be your escort for the evening," he explains.

“Oh,” you blurt out, letting go of his arm, “thank you, but an escort won’t be necessary.” With a hasty dip of your head, you leave, bumping into a woman in the process. When you move to apologize, you realize she has no face. 

Just a dark head and a liquid, convulsing body.

"So where to?" The gentleman asks, and this time when he approaches, you don’t hesitate to take his arm. 

"Cesari's," you murmur, lest the creature hear you. It’s where your sister works, and you've been worried enough as it is.

He guides you briskly down a cobbled path. "I'd advise you not to look back."

In the distance, you hear a collective groaning, the crack of wood splintering. Low at first, the groaning rises steadily in pitch, the crack of wood quickening like strikes of a whip drawing blood. Your heart drums fast. Suddenly, a dark creature swoops toward you, screaming shrilly. V turns you abruptly to the right. 

Phantoms lurk around the corner, shrieking as they lunge, but the next alley leads to a wall. Your breath catches. From the cracks burst out more phantoms, and you grip the gentleman's sleeve, squeezing your eyes shut.

The next moment, you can't feel the ground. The howling and screeching fall away, growing softer and softer until you can hear them no more.

You venture a look.

"Careful," the gentleman warns, a second too late. "We're quite high up."

Quite high up? You'd have to be -- you don't know, geography has never been your strong suit -- a few hundred meters above the ground! You're flying. There’s nothing to hold onto except the gentleman's bejewelled hands, and while the view of Market Chipping is beautiful, you're going to fall.

"Are you mad?" You ask, trying not to panic. 

He laughs. "I'm surprised you didn't notice. Now take a step." 

Your first one is shaky. Without any surface to step on, it feels like you're sinking instead of floating. 

"Imagine you're taking a stroll," the gentleman suggests. "Look, there’s the patisserie, the flora, and the...fauna. Strange, that shouldn’t be there.”

To your horror, his grip on you loosens just a bit, and you yelp, prompting his attention. 

”Why don’t you think of a song?” He asks.

“A dirge, you mean. A funeral song.”

“I know what a dirge is,” he snaps. “You, on the other hand...”

It didn’t work.

V thought he could distract you with a squabble, but your palms are still as clammy as ever.

So to pacify your stubborn fear (so tangible he can feel it), he coaxes you into giving him a tour of Market Chipping. At first, you insist it's been quite some time since you've set foot outside and you're likely missing a place or few. How long is quite some time, he asks, mostly in jest, and is surprised when you tell him. He doesn’t show it. Instead, he assures you it’s of little import, because really, he's just settled in, so do you know any merchants who sell paintings? He's been itching for something to spruce up his residence -- the walls are bleak and empty.

By the time you reach Cesari’s, the stars are just beginning to shimmer. Night falls rapidly over the horizon, and you're surprised at the sudden desire you feel to prolong the conversation. 

"Would you like to come in for biscuits and tea? Surely Joy can get us a discount--" You catch yourself, noting the lustrous gold winding his velvet cape, the violet glint of sapphires dangling from his ears. "Not that you'll need it."

"No," he says, releasing your hand gently. "But I appreciate the offer. I must get going."

"Good night, then," you say. "And thank you for escorting me. I enjoyed your company."

He smiles a soft smile, his most disarming one yet. "The pleasure is all mine." With a slight bow, he vanishes from sight.

The sweet scent of cinnamon and sugar beckons you into Cesari's, yet you feel no urge to enter. Lingering by the balcony, you watch the festivities below, the lights and colorful dresses appearing small and whimsical, a bit like you’re peering through a snow globe. For the first time in a while, you feel a childlike wonder. You hadn't realized you missed it.

Too late you realize you should have asked for the gentleman's name. 

"Who was that?" A bright voice, clear out of nowhere, asks. "I didn't get a good look."

"Joy!" You exclaim, recognizing the fair features of your sister. Although she seems a bit thinner. It worries you, but you bite your tongue. Joy, after all, doesn't take to chiding. "What are you doing here?"

"Getting some fresh air." She stretches leisurely, a mischievous grin on her lips. "So imagine my surprise when I hear my sister offering a discount without consulting me first."

"You heard that?"

"The pleasure is all mine," she mimics, putting on an exaggerated, deep tone.

"Well, I suppose it serves me right."

"Please!" Joy laughs. "You shouldn’t be so proper. What are biscuits and tea compared to your happiness?"

"Not as--"

"No," she interrupts. "Don't answer that. I'm doing well here despite the amount of pesky suitors. They're nothing I can't handle, so j...just let me help you thrive, too. So long as it isn't V you're handing your heart to."

You miss the awkward falter in Joy's words, touched and baffled as you are by her sentiment. "Doesn't he only eat the hearts of beauties? I'd be more concerned if I were you."

"Or," she muses, "he feeds on beautiful, innocent hearts, and we've been fools all along." 

When she looks at you, chills creep up your spine. "Are you trying to frighten me?"

"Well, do you have a beautiful heart?" She retorts.

"I don’t know."

"Exactly," she says. "And no one can fathom why V chose to stay here of all places. That's why we--"

"Joy!" Someone shouts from inside.

"I'm on break!" She shouts back, but the woman calls out to her again. Joy pulls an annoyed face, and for a second, you think you see a bit of Irene in her expression. Then she breathes and returns to her pleasant self. "Come in." She twists the doorknob open. "I'll finish telling you later." 

As you follow her, a creature slithers under the balcony, quiet for now.

It's dark and pulsing. 

[justnerdthings]

Just a collection of Alex, Echo, and Jo incorrect quotes from a generator.

Jo: Some people are like slinkies. Echo: What? Jo: Not really good for much but bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs. Echo: Echo: Please don't push Alex down the stairs. Jo, pushing Alex down the stairs: Too late.

-------------

Alex: A party is a celebration of a life, bringing people together to let the guest of honor know how much they’re loved. Echo has done so much for us. This is our chance to do something for them. Jo: By forcing them to have fun at a party that they don’t want to be at? Alex: I knew you’d understand.

----------------

Alex: We're having a baby. Echo: Oh, congradu- Jo, slamming adoption papers onto the table: It's you, sign here.

----------------

Echo: It’s impossible to make a sentence without using the letter a. Jo: Despite your thinking, it is quite possible, yet difficult, to form one without the specific letter. Here’s one more to further disprove your theory. Alex: Fuck you.

----------------

Echo: *gets a text* Oh! It’s Alex. Jo, excitedly: Did they get me the stuff? Echo: Yeah, they say they got you the clown costume, the power drill, and 12 gallons of blood. Jo: Wow! Where’d they find 12 gallons of fake blood? Echo: You wanted fake blood? Jo: Echo: I’ll go call Alex.

----------------

Alex: Nice rock. Jo: Thanks, Echo gave it to me. Echo: I threw it at you! Jo: Aren't they the sweetest?

-----------------

Alex: Who wants to make fifty bucks? Jo: How? Alex: I need someone to take the fall. Jo: What did you do? Alex: I can't tell you. Yes or no, no questions asked. Echo, from the other room: Oh my god. Alex: ... Echo: OH MY GOD! Jo: Make it a hundred. Alex: Deal.

------------------

Echo: So, what is Jo to you? Alex: The reason I wake up every morning. Echo: ...That’s adorable. Jo earlier that morning, barging into Alex′s room, smacking pans together: WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!!!

------------------

Alex: I mean. Echo's just standing there now. Alex: Waiting for me, I guess. Alex: But it's okay, I think they've pretty much settled down. Jo: Settled down? Alex: Well, they only stabbed me once.

------------------

Jo: Can we go out to get icecream? Alex: Did you ask Echo? Jo: They said no. Alex: Then why did you ask me? Jo: They're not the boss of you. Alex, internally: It's a trap, it's a trap, it's a trap.

------------------

Echo: Would you slap Alex- Jo: Yes. Echo: I didn't even finish! Jo: Sorry, continue. Echo: Would you slap Alex for 10 dollars? Jo: I would do it for free. Alex: Rude...

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Echo: Is this your plan B? Alex: Technically, this is plan P. Echo: Plan P? Is there a plan M? Alex: Yes, but I marry Jo in plan M. Jo: I like plan M.

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Echo: The moon looks beautiful, doesn’t it? Alex, looking at Echo: Yeah… but do you know what’s more beautiful? Echo and Alex in unison: *sighs* Jo

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Alex: So are you gonna explain how the hell you crashed my car? Jo: Well we were driving and there was a deer in the road, so I said "Echo, deer!" Alex: ...And what did Echo do? Jo: ...They said "Yes, Honey?"

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Echo: Did Jo just tell me they loved me for the first time? Alex: Yeah, they did. Echo: And did I just do finger guns back? Alex: Yeah, you did.

------------------

Echo, at Jo: Would you like to stay for dinner? Alex, from the kitchen: Would you like to stay forever!?!

------------------

Echo talking at Alex’s funeral: You do know we’re burying a great person today! Jo, shocked: Did someone else die?

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Echo: Hey I just got a pet snake. What should I name him? Alex: A pet WHAT?! Jo: William Snakespeare.

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Alex: Jo has no survival skills, their need to win has replaced them. Echo: That can't be true! Alex: Watch this. Alex: Hey Jo, race you to the bottom of the stairs! Jo: *Throws themself out a window*

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Alex: What are you guys doing? Echo: Like in life in general or- Jo: Not much. Why, what's up? Alex: I dunno, I’m bored playing AC. Jo: Assassins Creed? Alex: Animals Creed. Echo: Assassins Crossing.

-------------------

Echo: How are we supposed to put a tracker the size of a penny on Alex without them noticing? Jo: Hey, Alex, I bet you 5 bucks that you can't swallow this penny. Alex: *takes and swallows tracker* Pay up, loser. Echo: ...

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Alex: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed. Echo: Echo: I'm gonna tell them. Jo: Don't you dare.

--------------------

Echo: What time is it? Jo: I don’t know, pass me that saxaphone and we’ll find out Jo: *BLASTS the saxaphone* Alex: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXAPHONE AT TWO IN THE FUCKING MORNING Jo: It’s 2 am

--------------------

Alex: Would you take a bullet for me? Echo: ...yes? *Jo angrily burst into the room* Alex: *running away* Great, thanks!

-------------------

Jo: What makes you think it's okay to watch Hannibal given its subject matter? Echo: Sometimes, I watch television shows for entertainment purposes. Alex: Because I condone murder and cannibalism.

-------------------

Alex: Welcome to Fucking Applebees, do you want apples or bees? Echo: Bees? Alex: THEY HAVE SELECTED THE BEES! Echo: Wait- *Jo approaches, shaking a jar of bees menacingly*

-------------------

Echo: Jo and I were crossing the street, and this man drove by and honked at us. Alex: What did you do? Echo: Jo chased him to the next red light, and reached into his window, and- Jo: *walking in* Who wants a steering wheel?

-------------------

Jo: I lost Echo. Alex: How did you LOSE Echo?! Jo: To be fair, they are very small.

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Echo: Who do we know that has handcuffs? Alex: Well Jo and I- Jo: *elbows Alex* Alex: ...wouldn't know.

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Jo: What’s it like being tall? Jo: Is it nice? Jo: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards? Alex: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb 4 chairs, 2 boxes, a small coffee table and 6 oddly placed stools to get what they want. Echo: It was one time!

-------------------

Jo: I told Alex that their ears turn red when they lie. Echo: Do they? Jo: No. Echo: Then why did you tell them that? Jo: Because I can do this. Jo: Hey Alex! Do you love us? Alex, with their hands over their ears: No.

-------------------

Jo: Is Alex always like this when they lose? Echo: Oh, yes. You should've been there for the Great Jenga Tantrum of 2015. Alex: You bumped that table and you know it!

-------------------

Alex: Goddamn it, the printer broke while printing out Echo's birthday invitations. Jo: Well, what are they supposed to say? Alex: "Echo's birthday". Jo: So, what do they say instead? Alex: "Echo’s bi". Jo: Jo: Works out either way.

------------------

Echo: Alex got into a fight. Jo: That’s bad. Jo: Jo: Did they win?

-----------------

Echo: I’ve never asked someone out. How do you even do it? Jo: Oh, what I do is, I look them up and down and I say: “Hey… how you doin’?” Alex, scoffing: Oh, please. Jo, to Alex: Hey, how you doin’? Alex: Alex: *giggles and blushes*

------------------

Echo: That shirt looks great, Alex. Alex: Thanks. Echo: But I bet it would look even better on Jo's floor. Jo: Are you hitting on Alex... for me?

------------------

Echo: Hey, do you know the password to Alex’s computer? Jo: Fuck you, Echo. Echo: Hey!! Jo: No, you misunderstood, the password is "fuckyouEcho". Echo: Oh, no numbers? Not very safe.

-------------------

Jo: Hi, sorry I’m late. I was doing a couple of things and got distracted. Alex: I’m “a couple of things”. Echo: I’m “got distracted”.

-------------------

*playing twister* Echo: Right hand red. Jo: *ends up on top of Alex* Alex: You're doing this on purpose, aren't you? Echo: I stopped spinning like 15 minutes ago. Honestly, I'm surprised you didn't notice.

-------------------

Jo: Where are my fucking keys? Alex: Jo, Echo is around, can you say it a little nicer? Jo: May I ascertain the whereabouts of my FUCKING KEYS?!

-------------------

Alex: A sprite is anything not static. Echo: A sprite is a variable object, be it 2d or 3d. Jo: A sprite is a fucking soda. Jo: You god damn geekass bastards.

---------------------

Jo: Echo! What did I tell you about lying? Echo, looking down: ...That it only works on Alex.

---------------------

Echo: What are you writing? Alex: The government wants to know what kind of weapons we have in the house. I'm letting them know it's private information. Jo, looking over Alex's shoulder: This just says 'fuck around and find out' in calligraphy.

--------------------

Echo: Why would you think any of this was a good idea?! Alex: Probably because I’m a dangerous sociopath with a long line of violence. Echo: Oh... Jo, from across the room: I don’t understand how you keep forgetting that.

-------------------

Alex: If you get in trouble, I'm gonna be like... a lawyer to you. Ok? Echo: Okay. *later* Jo: Echo! Sit down on the chair, you're in trouble. Alex, whispering: Deny everything. Echo, loudly: That isn't a chair.

------------------

Jo: Why do you let me win when we race up the stairs? You’re the faster one. Alex: Erm... it’s nice see your smile when you win! *later* Jo: They're probably just staring at my ass, aren't they. Echo: Yeah, probably.

-------------------

Echo: *speaking Spanish* Jo: I know, I know. Alex: You speak Spanish? Jo: No. I just know the phrase, 'this is all your fault' in every language Echo speaks.

--------------------

Jo: Alex, what are you doing? Alex: Making chocolate pudding. Jo: It's four in the morning, why are you making chocolate pudding? Alex: Because I've lost control of my life. Alex: Here's your pudding, Echo. Echo: Oh that's okay, I'm not hungry anymore.

-------------------

Alex: I know you love them. Echo: I am not in love with Jo! Alex, staring at Echo: I never said who... Echo: *realizes* Echo: Shit. Well, anyways-

-------------------

Echo: Coca Cola can remove rust from metal, imagine what it’s doing to your body. Jo: Pfff, getting rid of the rust, idiot. Echo: THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS! Alex: Hmm... I've been drinking soda and my body's rust free... not sure where you're getting your facts from...

-------------------

Jo: Yo dumbass, get over here. Echo: Okay- Alex: *gleefully runs past* I’m coming! Echo, sadly: I thought... I was dumbass...

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Jo: But what about Alex? Echo: Don't worry about them. Echo: I once watched them fall down 5 flights of stairs, stand up, and keep eating their hotdog like nothing happened.

--------------------

Echo: I hope you have an explanation for this. Alex: We have three actually- Jo: Pick your favorite.

-------------------

Alex, to Echo: You know, Jo can be really aggressive, so it's important to take all the necessary precautions when approaching. Alex: *blows airhorn at Jo* GET FUCKED!

-------------------

Echo & Alex: *accidentally set the kitchen on fire* Echo: We need an adult! Alex: Echo, you are an adult! Echo: We need an adultier adult! Get Jo!

-------------------

Jo: Are you a painting? Alex: What-? Jo: Because I want to pin you to a wall. Echo: OH GOD I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY YOU WANTED TO HANG THEM OR SOMETHING-

-------------------

Alex, bursting into the room: You two are having sex! Jo, not looking up from their book: Really? Echo, why didn’t you tell me? I would have put my book down.

-------------------

Alex, excitedly: Heeyy!! Echo: Hey, someone's excited. Jo, deadpan: Yeah, and it's making me sick.

-------------------

Echo: When Alex has daiquiris they get really into how beautiful they are. Alex: Hey, I dare you guys to dare us to make out. Jo: Hey Alex, you know that’s a mirror, right?

-------------------

@chadillacboseman @roofgeese

[jjmaybanksblog]

Johnny Boy - JJ Maybank

John B x sister!reader, JJ Maybank x reader

Summary: you don't make it out after the shooting at the Cameron's runway, leaving your death on the shoulders of your friends.

Word count: 2,891

Warnings: Guns, violence, mentions of blood, death and sadness :(

Nothing was ever 'normal' in the Pogues' lives after your brother, John B had brought up the gold of the Royal Merchant. Never in your whole life of living there would you imagine sitting in his van, watching Ward Cameron's private plane fly right towards you both.

Never in your life would you imagine square groupers shooting at your friends on a boat. Never in your life would you imagine how dangerous a simple treasure hunt truly could be. Never in your life would you imagine yourself lying on a concrete roadway, blood covering your clothes. Never in your whole life would you pictured your life to end so soon. 

You stood outside the van with John B and Sarah, watching as Officer Peterkin forced Ward Cameron onto his knees with his hands above his head. "You're under arrest for the murder of 'Big John' Routledge." You let out a large sigh of relief as your tears welled with tears. John B held you in his arms, rocking you back and forth. "We did it Y/N, we did it." He grinned down to his sister.

You released your brother, allowing him to comfort Sarah as she watched her father get handcuffs placed on his wrists. Ward pushed away from officer Peterkin, causing her to draw her gun out of her holster. You stepped forward, making sure he wouldn't be able to run away. John B protected Sarah in his arms, turning her away from the gun.

A loud gunshot echoed through the air, your body experiencing a sharp pain in your chest. "Y/N." John B whispered from behind you. You and Peterkin locked eyes before looking at each other's gunshot wounds. You fell to your knees, your chest heaving as you suddenly felt all the air in your body leave your body. 

You remained on your knees for a moment before watching Rafe Cameron appear from behind the plane. John B couldn't remove his eyes from you, his grip tightening on Sarah, watching you bleed out on the cement. You fell onto your back, the bright blue sky looking more beautiful than ever. 

You heard your brother shuffle towards you and Peterkin. The officer quickly shook her head, "help your sister." John B fell to his knees, his hand finding the gunshot on your chest and applying pressure to it. "Call!" Peterkin wheezed out loud. Sarah took John B's place next to you, using your brother's bandana as something to stop the blood from pouring out.

Sarah hovered over you, "it's okay Y/N," she cried out, "it's gonna be okay." She tried to reassure you. John B attempted to grab the officer's radio, only to get it taken by Ward. John B took his spot next to you, his fingers brushing your hair away from your face. A tear rolled down the side of your face as you reached your hand up to cup the side of his face.

"You need to go find everyone." You said, your voice barely audible. He shook his head, his tears already spilling out of his eyes. "No, please you're all I have left of our family." He begged, his hands shaking. You carefully reached up and untied the bandana that was around your neck. When John B bought his first bandana, he got you a red one knowing that was your favorite color.

You grabbed onto his hand, placing the fabric into his palm. He clutched it in his hand and held it to his heart. "I love you Y/N." He sobbed, resting your head in his lap. "Dad and I will be watching over you. You've been the best brother I could ever ask for. I love you Johnny boy." You said, having a feeling these words would be the last ones you would say to him.

He leaned down to give you a kiss on the forehead before running away. He hesitated and did a double take to look at you before booking it away from the scene. Sarah fell to her knees next to you, her hand holding your head up. 

 "I'm gonna die aren't I?" You asked mindlessly, your mind thinking about your boyfriend JJ. Sarah sobbed at your question. She held onto your hand, "no, no it's okay. You're gonna be okay and John B is gonna be okay. You got this." She tried to reassure you.

"Sarah, please don't break my brother's heart. He really loves you." You admitted, feeling as if your body was burning. Your mouth had gone dry and you couldn't stop coughing as blood filled your lungs. Your eyes slowly started to flutter shut, Sarah gently shook your head. "I won't Y/N, please just stay with me!" "Tell JJ I love him." Was the last thing you said before giving into the bright light that shines above you.

______________________

"Y/N Routledge?" John B, Sarah and the rest of the Pogues all stood up from their chairs, all of them tapping their feet. "We're so sorry for your loss." The words easily left the doctors mouth, but impaled everyone's hearts. 

JJ felt as if the breath had been knocked out of him as he reached to sit down in his chair so he wouldn't fall over. "Wh-what?" Was all his mouth could say. 

"She was losing too much blood, as soon as she was injured there was no going back. We tried everything we could." The doctor explained.

Pope held onto Kiara as they both began to cry. Losing someone who was like a sister to them, someone who would drop whatever she was doing and go spend time with them. Someone who made so many memories with them, and they're gone now.

JJ put his hand on John B's shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. JB's mouth had fallen open, "no, no that can't be right." John B spoke as he shook his friends hand off of his shoulder.

"JB-" He cut JJ off, "No! No! She was supposed to grow up with me! She promised when we grow older she would help me plan my wedding with Sarah, help me find a house, she promised me. She-she can't be gone." He sobbed loudly as his body suddenly felt weak. 

John B stood there after his shout, his body felt like static. He wanted to cry, he wanted to scream so loudly it'd break glass, he wanted to make the pain go away. But all he could do was stand there, he didn't want to believe this was it. 

_________________________________

The funeral

John B took in everyone's appearance as they gathered around the hole that held the wooden casket. Black. Black dresses, black shirts and pants, everything was dead. The only family you had that cared about you was John B, Sarah, and your Pogues you considered family as well. No one there had not been able to stop crying, none of them had gotten sleep. 

John B twirled a single white rose in his hand before reaching down and placing it in the hole in the ground. His free hand clenched the bandana you had given him in his hand. The brother had his friends around him, all of them putting rose's on the lid of your casket.

John B asked JJ to speak about you, knowing he wouldn't be able to speak once he stood up there. JJ didn't want to lie, he was terrified. Not of public speaking, but if he spoke about you then he would realize you were actually dead. But there he stood at a wooden stand, in front of a small crowd of people.

His hands clutched onto the sides of the stand, so hard that his knuckles were turning white. He had attempted to write out what he wanted to say on paper, but he could never get the words right of what he wanted to say.

"My name is JJ Maybank, and Y/N Routledge is- was my girlfriend. She wasn't only my girlfriend, but my best friend. My whole life I was making stupid decisions, hanging out with the wrong crowd, not doing well in school, etc. But she was right by my side to help me through all my mistakes and failures. She was always there to be a shoulder to cry on and a person to hug. She would always let me lay my head in her lap and she would play with my hair when she knew something was up with me." His voice wavered as he looked up to the sky to hold back his tears.

"Y/N Routledge was not only a beautiful woman, but she had a heart of gold. She had a soul so pure Angel's are jealous they can't have that sort of kindness. She put people before herself, but always knew when to focus on herself. She would drop everything she was going and run to her brother or any of her friends if they needed her help. I hate having to use past tense- I never thought her life would be taken so soon." JJ mumbled the last part as a tear slipped from his eye.

"I wish I could have saved her- I should have saved her. And I'm sorry I let you all down because here we are. Y/N Routledge was and will forever be in our hearts, our memories, our lives no matter what. I have cherished so many moments with her that I know I will never forget. She's the love of my life, and I wish we all could have had our happily ever afters."

________________________________

After the funeral

John B walked up to JJ with a folded piece of paper in his hand. "Y/N left this for you." JJ's throat tightened as he took the paper out of his friends hand. "How did you find this?" "It was in her desk drawer."

"She left one for all of us." John B said before walking away from him. JJ hesitantly opened the paper as he began to read it.

"Dear JJ,

Hi my love. If you're reading this, that means something happened to me and I died. I don't know what you're thinking right now, but I know one thing you're thinking is 'why did she write this?' Ever since the first encounter with the square groupers shooting at us in the marsh, I know life here at the OBX was not going to be easy. So I started writing this incase something were to happen to me. I pray to God that you never actually have to read this, but you never know. But I do know you, and I know you're probably blaming yourself. JJ listen, do not blame yourself over anything that happens to me. You were the love of my life, the reason I woke up everyday with a smile. My whole life I only felt true love when I was with you, and I will never forget those feelings you gave me, and I hope you don't forget the feelings I gave you. Thank you for being my partner and crime, my best friend, my love, and my life. Please take care of yourself, don't let this stop you from living your life, I don't want you guys mourning. This is life, people come and go, everything will be okay in the end. If anyone could have saved me, it would have been you. Because you, JJ Maybank, have saved me from everything else.

Your love,

Y/N Routledge♡

JJ ripped his eyes away from the paper as he let out a loud cry. He read the whole thing in your voice. He could practically hear every tone you would have used if you actually read that aloud. He felt broken, he felt lost, he wanted you back so badly. But sadly, there's nothing to fix the fact that your journey has already come to an end.

The other letters:

Dear Kiara,

My big ball of energy, and confidence! God I wish I didn't have to write this, but every day may be the last and I want you to hear my words. You, my best friend, are such an amazing person. When I first met you and found out you were a Kook, I thought you would hate me. But you Kiara Carrera, were nothing what I expected you to be. When my brother introduced me to you, I knew we would become best friends. Not because my brother made us but because you are one of my favorite people ever. You never failed to make me smile, you always talked to me when I needed you, you've helped me make so many memories and I will forever be thankful for you. When I first saw you smile I felt this warm vibe radiating off of you. I felt absolutely blessed to be able to view you as a sister. You always showed me love, you stood up for me, you made me laugh when I needed it. In my eyes you are a complete angel, and I know sometimes you doubt that, but I want you to know that nothing will change what we think about you. I'm sorry I left so soon, I wanted to be able to go to the bar with you and maybe even move in together. Thank you for everything you have done for John B and I, I will forever be grateful for you. I love you so much hun, always and forever♡

With much love, 

Y/N Routledge

__________________________

Dear Pope,

I watched you grow up since you met my brother back in elementary school, and I'm proud of you, so fucking proud. You have not only grown but matured while still acting like the dork you are. I remember on my 14th birthday you didn't know what to get me so you asked JJ and John B for opinions. Then you showed up to my house with a basket of all my favorite foods. That was the night I got sick from eating too much :) you have done so much for me, from bringing me good when I was on my period to literally pulling me out of a well in the basement of some creepy lady. I know you're gonna do amazing things with your life, I know you're aching to get into college with scholarships. I know for a fact that you will get into anything you put your mind to because you are the smartest person I have ever met. Don't give up Pope, you got this.♡

Love you so much,

Y/N Routledge

________________________________

Dear Sarah,

When I first met you, I thought you were just another Kook that loved showing off daddy's money, but I was so wrong and I apologize for that. You have been nothing but an angel to my family of Pogues. You have made me laugh so easily when I needed it. You took my mind off of things that hurt me. You drove us around town at 2 in the morning because we both couldn't sleep. I can't even tell you how thankful I am to know you're dating my brother, he's in good hands. He really does love you, you know. He always grins whenever your name comes up in conversation, he will defend you in a heartbeat if he has to. Please take care of his heart. I know we only recently became friends, but I just want you to know I appreciate everything you have done for me. You have a heart of gold, Sarah Cameron, never change for anyone. ♡

Sending love,

Y/N Routledge

__________________________________

Dear Johnny Boy,

John B, I'm so sorry you're reading this. I wish there was some way I could prevent you from ever reading this but life throws wild cards at you from every position. Johnny you were my best friend in the whole world. Since we were born you and I have been attached by the heart. I feel so honored to have watched you grow up into who you are today. An intelligent, kind, loving, and handsome teenager. You have such a bright future ahead of you and you are going to absolutely own your life. I am so happy you found Sarah before something happened to me, I know Sarah will do anything to show you she loves you. You are the best brother anyone could ask for. You're my favorite person to go to the playground with, my favorite person to watch horror and sci fi movies with, my favorite person to binge eat all of the food in the fridge. You have helped me through it all even from a young age. Thank you for that. I'm sorry dad hasn't seen you grow and develop within these last few months, but I know he would be proud of you, of us. I'll tell him you said hi when I see him. Take care of the Pogues and yourself please. I want to see all of you thrive in the future, okay? Promise to me and yourself that you will wake up every day, drink water, and eat. I love you Johnny boy. Forever and always. Thank you for being the best brother ever♡

Love your favorite (and only) sister,

Y/N Routledge

[blueeyedheizer]

Alive Again - Billy/Four x reader

TW: Language, Blood

--------------

"Eight, I need a hand !"

"Well I'm kind of busy right now. Why don't you ask Five?" You spat, still keeping an eye on your target from behind your sniper rifle. Four groaned at your answer and you rolled your eyes, holding your weapon firmly.

"Come on Eight, now's not the time to be a little bitch! I need backup!"

"Fuck you, Four."

"For God's sake can you two shut up already? I feel like i'm working with actual children!" One barked from the other side of the mic, and you could tell he was definitely getting angry at your childish attitude. There wasn't a day where you and Four weren't fighting, and every mission ended with you two yelling at each other for the silliest reasons.

"Eight, you go help Four, end of discussion." One continued.

"I'm on the other side of the goddamn building, how the fuck am I supposed to make it without dying !" You yelled, clearly loosing your patience as well.

"Two's got you covered, you're not dying today, got it? Now get a hold of yourself and go!" You let out a loud sigh and checked your surroundings carefully before running reluctantly towards the opposite direction of your target. You hated being given a task out of nowhere. You weren't very self-assured so everything you did had to be planned or you just weren't ready for it. The thing is, One didn't seem to get it and that pissed you off more than anything.

Your race against time was abruptly interrupted as soon as you stepped inside one of the building's luxurious rooms; a guard bursted in the room at the same time as you and aimed his gun at you, his finger firmly placed around the trigger.

That's it. I'm dying today. You thought.

The guy took a step closer to you, the grip on his gun tighter than it was seconds ago making you hold your hands up in defense.

"Drop your gun." the man threatened and you shook your head no.

"I said drop your fucking gun!" before you could even process what was happening, a loud bang was heard and the man's dead body fell on the floor, making you scream. His head was half gone and he was already laying in a pool of his own blood. You let out a scream in horror. "Holy fucking shit!"

"You're welcome." Two said, exhaling a deep sigh of relief. "Almost missed him." She tried to joke, but you weren't in the mood for that. Without letting yourself think too much, you swallowed hard and started running as fast as you could. You were used to seeing dead people since you joined the Underground but it was never easy to witness. You might have been declared dead but your feelings definitely didn't die with that part of you.

"Why did I get myself into this?" you whispered to yourself before continuing your way to find Four. You couldn't help but have some regrets about joining the Underground. Watching your family mourn you at your own funeral was one of the hardest thing to do, and you often felt like all of this wasn't worth it. Most of your missions were complete disasters, and the fact that all of you were still alive to this day was a miracle.

xx

After running for what seemed an eternity, you finally reached the opposite side of the building where Four was supposed to be.

"Alright asshole, back to you. Where are you?" you called.

No answer

"Four! Do you copy?"

"Eight-." his mic was crackling. He was in trouble. Just by hearing him say your code name, you could tell he was breathless, almost struggling to speak. You let out a gasp when a bullet flew right next to you, and you rushed to the closest safe place you could find.

"Shit! Guys, I think I'm surrounded."

"Yeah, there's three guys hot on your heels, but I've got them in sight. They won't follow you for too long. Keep running." Seven answered and you nodded before going back to making your way inside the building. "Four i'm gonna need some indications. Where are you?"

Still no answer.

"Four?" Your heart began to race when you heard fighting sounds and screams of pain coming from your mic.

"Eight...please, help..."

"I'm on my way. But I need to know where you are. Give me a hint. Anything you can tell me."

"He's gonna kill me."

"Fuck's sake...Just hang on. I'm coming to you." The mic made another crackling sound and then went silent.

"Guys we've got a problem" Three interrupted.

"God, what now?" you answered, your heart beating faster with every passing second.

"The cops are everywhere, we have to go now. They'll be surrounding the whole building anytime from now." You started running faster, being careful to check if every corner around you was clear.

"Eight, you have to come back. We're running out of time." One said through the mic.

"No, fuck this. I'm not leaving anyone behind. Just go without me, we'll find a way to get back to you guys."

One let out a sigh and rubbed his face with his hands. He was definitely not approving your decision but chose to let you handle the situation anyway. "Alright. Good luck. Don't die."

You closed your eyes tightly, realizing what you were doing. You were walking right into the lion's den, and you got yourself into it on your own.

Quickly, you dashed behind a wall, hiding from any potential enemy. You tried to catch your breath but your bulletproof vest was making it harder. After a few seconds, you peeked around and made your way towards a corridor where you could hear punches being thrown along with some loud crashing.

xx

You finally found Four after what felt like an eternity. He was being beaten up horribly, and you could hardly believe the scene in front of you. Four looked completely helpless, the pain was so unbearable that he didn't even bother screaming for help. You immediately grabbed your gun and shot the guy on top of him, and you heart sank at the sight in front of you. Four's face was covered in bruises, and dried blood matted his hair against his forehead. You held out your hand for him to take and told the team you'd found him. One, Three and Seven were arguing on the other side, but you weren't listening.

"You good?"

Four groaned and grabbed your hand, standing up painfully. "Yeah."

"What the hell happened?"

"Since when do you care?" he spat and you scoffed, trying to hide how hurt you were after hearing those words.

"Yeah, whatever. Let's go. We're running out of time"

----

Back to the HQ, you were sitting in front of your trailer, watching as Five took care of Four's multiple bruises. You couldn't help but feel angry at the sight of them being together. Was it jealousy? No. It couldn't be. You let out an unintentional scoff when you heard her laugh at something Four had said.

"So....Have you two fucked yet?" Two asked, taking a long drag of her cigarette and getting you out of your thoughts. You choked on your drink, making her chuckle.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

"Wha- Why on earth would I want to fuck him? I can't fucking stand him." you spat, throwing a cold glare towards his and Five's direction.

"Of course you don't. You just risked your life for someone you hate, nothing weird 'bout that. I would definitely do that too." Two answered as a smirk appeared on her face.

"Oh, fuck off Two. I don't like him. He's- he's selfish, self-centered, ungrateful and he's- he's....he's just a fucking asshole!" You yelled. Two was taken aback by your reaction, not expecting you to take her teasing so seriously. Everyone was looking at you, including Four and Five, and you'd never felt so exposed before. You could feel your cheeks began to burn so you shook your head and went inside your trailer, slamming the door shut behind you.

xx

You were laying on your bed when you got startled by the sound of your door opening. You sat up and groaned when your eyes met Four's.

"Haven't you heard of knocking? What do you want?" You got up from your bed and walked to the opposite direction of him, turning your back at him.

"Five told me I should say thank you for saving my life so, here I am." he was standing awkwardly in front of the door, his hand buried in his pockets. You scoffed.

"Yeah whatever. You're welcome, I guess. Now get out."

"What's your problem, Eight? Seriously. What's this all about?" he suddenly spat, making you turn around. "What did I ever do for you to hate me so much?" he added.

"What's my problem? I risked my fucking life for someone who wouldn't do the slightest for me, that's my goddamn problem !" you yelled, not even caring if the others could hear you. Tears were threatening to fall from your eyes but you fought hard to hold them back. Four stayed silent for a moment, not knowing what to say. He broke the silence after a few seconds.

"You know that's not true, Eight." his voice was soft. So much softer than it had been only a moment before, which only made you want to cry harder.

You scoffed again and shook your head. "Oh come on. You and I both know it's true."

"Eight, come on..." Four took a few steps towards you and reached for your arm but you pulled back quickly, as if his touch would burn your skin.

"Y/N."

"What?"

"My name. It's Y/N."

Four could see how sad and broken you were, and to his own surprise he found himself wishing he could make all your pain go away. You two just stood there for a moment, not knowing what to say. Four was obviously not expecting this when he walked into your trailer. He thought you'd be fighting again like you always did, but finding you so broken was the very last thing he expected to be confronted to. This time you were the first one to break the silence.

"I'm not the person I used to be." You confessed. "I can't even recognize myself and I don't know why I act the way I do." You choked out, as Four watched you with a sympathetic expression. "I'm so fucking pathetic I just-, I'm so sorry."

"Come here, Y/N." He opened his arms for you and you walked into them without hesitation, not caring about anything else at the moment. Him calling you by your real name was enough for you to let go and put all your bitterness aside. No one had ever held you since you joined the Underground, this being one year ago. But that's all you needed. To know that you were still a human being, worthy of being loved and cared about. You allowed yourself to sob against Four's shoulder, something you never thought you'd ever do.

"I just want to feel alive again."