#and then went the straight route like wtf why ugh

[mikereads]

The last season of Dead to me destroyed me like why ugh. It was harder than Beaches and Thelma and Louise combined fuck! Jen x Judy endgame. They were so in love. Why didn’t they get to live out the rest of there lives together with there children and get there happily ever after.

[wily-one24]

I hope there's not a question limit per ask lol... Paint it Black: 3, 4, 5, 11, 12, 14 and 15 (or as many of those as you feel like answering lol)

Okay, two things.

A. Of *course* there’s no ask limit. I am an attention whore and will talk all day if you encourage me. Ask away!!

B. WTF tumblr? When I reposted that, it was a paragraph basically saying “ask about my fic!”, but now there are NUMBERED QUESTIONS? What? Where was the second half of that post when I came across it in my dash? 

ANSWERS

3. What’s your favourite line of narration?

Oh geez. How the hell am I going to answer that? I have favourite lines per chapter, I have favourite lines per scene! Each part I’m reading at any given moment happens to be my favourite. Every time I reread it, I find something new... and... maybe I suck for saying this... but I think “you’re a fucking genius”, then I get all sad, because I think that was probably one of the last great things I’ll write. I’ve been going downhill ever since... but anyways, to seriously answer your question, I’ll give a few examples... 

 - That face off scene between Regina and Snow, where Snow claims her father was a good man and Regina answers “To you!”, the entire scene is charged and emotional and brings up so much shit between them that was never explored in canon. 

- The flashback of Emma’s tenth birthday (technically collectively, all of the flashbacks, really. They’re angsty as fuck, but so formative in their characterisation that sometimes I forget they’re not actually canon). I have this habit of tearing Emma down to her bare bones and then trying to build her up again. I actually do this with most of my main female characters, and I do apologise for that Buffy, Kaylee, Veronica, Emma, and Alex. You all deserve so much better than me. 

- The scene where Regina is alone in the castle and revisits the old chamber of Leopold’s. It’s hard to read but that is some weird little cathartic release right there. There is some great imagery that I don’t think many people allow Regina when it comes to her healing. Everybody tends to go the “being married to Leopold was a BAD THING” route, without ever really exploring the day to day soul destroying aspect of it. The reality of being the King’s prisoner wife. But giving her the ability and strength to revisit it, so she can finally acknowledge to herself how damaging it was, to close herself off from it both literally and figuratively, and then to be self aware enough to compare that situation to the one she has Emma in. That is empowerment. 

- The parallel scenes of Emma and Henry at the start and the end of the fic. The first being when Henry is so adamant to rescue Emma and curse everyone again just to take them back... and the last where you can see how much indoctrinated he is into the fairy tale land, how much he is drifting from “our world” being the real one, to the fairy tale land being his reality, and how his morality has shifted... but then... he also brings it back by getting vulnerable and shows his concern not just for Emma but for Regina... which also shows great advancement from the child like black/white morality of good vs evil he begins with to an acceptance of a more adult grey-area morality, his willingness to examine the facts and the truth to make up his mind. 

All the minor characters... Nancy (sweet, voiced Nancy), and Miss Edith (poor Miss Edith), Rachel, all the little characters that had such minor parts, but had such great effects in the lives of our main characters. 

Oooh, writing Rumple was fun. I got to write him as nobody really does. As that creepy reptilian imp from the first few flashbacks in S1. Before they really woobified him. The hysteric giggling, maniacal creature who smelled the air and exuded pure malice. It was really enjoyable writing him like that. 

Well, this went terribly off topic... anyway, yes, flashback scenes and confrontation scenes, be they between Snow and Regina, Emma and Regina, Regina and Maleficent, Emma and Snow, Emma and Henry... it’s in emotion that the true power of the fic lives. 

4. What’s your favourite line of dialogue?

oh, this is harder than the first. It would take me ages to reread this fic (and now I most likely am, thanks) to really go through it and cherry pick my favourites. But, if a line has happened to truly hit home and resonate with you as a reader, it most likely did the same for me. I remember quite a few times writing this fic, thinking “holy fuck!” and knowing, just knowing, that it was definitely the line to write. 

5. What part was the hardest to write?

The first two chapters. Up until the pivotal moment where Regina heals Emma, those were difficult to write and definitely difficult to read. I’ve had many readers tell me they were about to give up, bc it was too much torture porn to enjoy, but that moment specifically was a turning point for them because it built up the trust that I could and would reign Regina in beyond the point of no forgiveness or return. 

11. What do you like best about this fic?

I liked writing it. 

It took me to some pretty intense places. Fic writing, for me, has always been a form of therapy. I work through to some pretty intense fucking emotions through the angst of it all. Like, no, I have never been magically transported to a fairy tale land, collared, enslaved, and held against my will for the sake of my family and community’s lives... but if you look deeper in my life at the time, I had just been through a pretty horrific pregnancy that nearly killed me, my spouse and I separated, and I was left ill, recovering, and a single mother of a toddler and infant. I felt like I was being ripped apart from all angles, forced into a live of servitude for the betterment of everyone around me at the cost of myself. Even, though, like Emma, I didn’t blame them, it was still a period of mourning and loss.

I didn’t realise it at the time. This revelation happened years later when rereading the fic and trying to see where all the emotions had been coming from. It happens a lot with some of my more intense, dramatic, and (strangely enough) most popular fics. I don’t always see the correlation to my life at the time, but if I look back I can generally trace the rationality behind what my muse was trying to work through. 

12. What do you like least about this fic?

The polarisation. The controversy. That fucking chapter fucking four. I still cannot reread that chapter without having to take a step back and breathe. That scene has some good imagery, but even now sometimes I just skip it. It’s not worth the shakes or unease or... ugh, just thinking about it upsets me. 

I made a mistake in the tagging and I learned from it, but holy fuck was I attacked at the time and used as a sacrifical cow to the radfems. It was, honestly, surprising to me. Not only the reaction, but the harshness of it, all the accusation and personal attacks aimed at me.  

I mean, I knew the fic was always going to be confronting to some. It dealt with some pretty hard issues and subject matter. I had warned for all the violence and non/dub con. But... I didn’t expect or prepare for the backlash in including a male, even if the male used was... just used... and never actually amounted to anything more than a tool for Regina to control/bind/further entrench Emma to her own will in one scene. 

I, very naively, went into it thinking “surprise!”, and that an almost canon past pairing that was heavily explored in the actual show would not be controversial in the least. More fool me, I suppose. I definitely went back to re-tag it, I apologised. I am not sure what else I could have done, but to this day this fic is held up as an example of queer baiting and everything wrong with false lesbianism. And it is definitely used as an example by biphobic people as to why bisexual women cannot be trusted as we’re all “really straight women at heart”.

To be fair, I never explicitly labelled the fic as “lesbian”. I begin all my fics (no matter how AU or ‘out there’) from a canon stand point. Meaning, everything that happened in the show up to that point counts. Which includes every prior relationship both Emma and Regina had been in up to the Season One finale. Which, surprise, were with men!! 

14. Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?

I don’t know if there’s anything they should ‘learn’, but I definitely hope readers realise that this is in NO WAY AN EXAMPLE OF A HEALTHY BDSM RELATIONSHIP. It is not meant to be a guide, a ‘how to’, or a ‘goal’. This is an incredibly fucked up way for two already fucked up characters, to find some kind of semblance of existence in a world/s stacked up against them from the very start. I didn’t think I needed to state that out loud, but apparently I had to. Many times.  

If not that... then definitely I hope perhaps some of the writing made people think about the characters more in depth, or differently, that it gave the reader a new way of thinking about the show and the storylines/characters in it.  

15. What did you learn from writing this fic?

Tagging. Tagging fucking matters. Tag properly. Like, just do it. 

In all seriousness, though... I think I learned a lot about my own trauma. 

I also think my writing developed throughout the fic. There is a definite shift from the first two chapters... you can definitely see where it became less of a short one off smutty fic set up and more of an in depth angsty character exploration of the soul kinda thing. 

I learned about set up and development and bringing in stray bits of plot development later in the story to tie up loose ends.  

[anxiousdepressedintrovert]

Otome Friday

Okay so LSV was being weird today and didn’t update properly. The routes updated (eventually) but they didn’t out the images leading to the route at the beginning of the “newest releases” list

Renzei Route

-Someone’s probably already said this but the security chief reminds me of hercules from AFK.

-So can we get a clear understanding of Kelsey/MC’s powers? In Renzei and Lorelei’s route MC’s powers are telekinesis. Ok. But in Duke’s route it seems to be both that and a more empathetic telekinesis. So is it both? Is the empathy not touched on in Renzei and Lorelei’s routes because they and MC are already on a similar emotional wavelength? As stated in Duke’s route? Someone talk this out with me.

-Boba scene with Renzei was cute. 

-Andi and Bat are treasures. Too bad I couldn’t get into Andi’s route.

-Oh good. Renzei’s not homeless. 

-A+ writing again. “How does an assassin decorate?”

-FUCK!!!!!! RENZEI! How can anyone write this dialogue with a straight face? 

-Oh I can actually tell which guards are women now. 

-WTF is with with Hercules knock off. I’m gonna call him...Josh. 

-Josh. wtf.

-We get to see Renzei’s place!!!

-Nice apartment. 

-Why does everyone save maybe Havenfall’s LIs own a studio?

-Renzei background!!  one little brother and three little sisters!!!

-He has little siblings!!! 

-Holy fuck. We went from sweet, tender moment, to fucking. 

-I wanna see him blush. I wanna see the sprite.

-Kelsey/MC went for the booty. My kinda MC.

-CG is a lot cuter than I thought it was gonna be. 

-HOOOOLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYY SSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTT

-HURRICANE RENZEI!!!! HOLY SHIT!!

-FUCK. 

-GOD DAMNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Well there’s the villainous part. 

Antares Route

-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

-So when did he measure Zella/MC’s finger?

-So much emotion in this heart scene.

-GIVE CORVUS A BIGGER SMILE!!!!

-THAT’S NOT A SMILE!!! GIVE ME MORE CORVUS SPRITES!!!!

-Corvus is a gift. 

-One person against....two....fuck

-Empire civil war!!

-We’re going after the eggplant. 

-Of course the engagement ring is a fucking weapon. OMG. These nerds were made for each other.

-Custom made ring. Those take a while to make...Antares turns pink. Lol. 

-He’s had it “for a while” 

-Okay. Smash and grab. 

-Zella Conners doesn’t beg for mercy. She calls the badass that is her Admiral. 

-The eggplant is gonna get eaten by the Evil. 

-Y’all stupid. 

Veil of Secrets

- I am in love with this book. And Flynn. And Naomi

-”unexpected obstacles” you mean the Sterling Family?

-I actually turned on the music for this one.

-I am so done with this petty ass town. 

-Bryce. Your daddy is the chief of police. end of maury show.

-I swear to god!

-Oh we’ve been summoned!

-The Endurance. Magnus Sterling

-OMG. This family’s ego is suffocating.

-I better find some damn clues.

-A.A. on the locket.

-Ohhhh a false bottom on the desk. Nice. 

-Bitch. I’m trying to leave your house. No need to be fucking rude.

-Went to dinner with Grant. 

-It was nice. 

-Oh fuck no. Oh wait. This is probably one of the break-in that Agent Kim was talking about. I think it’s Flynn. Those eyes were too blue. 

Blood Bound

-”Adrian’s on trial and you might be his only hope” Welp. I’m gonna mess around and get Adrian killed. Oops.

-How long have we been in the Shadow Den? Like three days? Two? WTF

-Jax you’re a peach. 

-Of course Kamilah and Adrian know where the Den in. It’s a mass of Clanless Vampires. How is Jax surprised at this?

-No Lily. He’ll regret it. 

-More Kamilah flashback? Yes please.

-Oh hey! It’s one of the monks from TC&TF

-Jesus Gaius is old. 

-What?! Gaius and Kamilah? No. 

-Chelsea/MC isn’t human!!

-....not that I’m complaining but why does Kamliah’s swimsuit look like lingerie?

-Oh. Because it is her lingerie.

-Stop putting her behind a paywall. She’s too good for this. 

-I don’t like the skirt...

-Ugh Nicole. 

-Adam is accusing Adrian?! Really dude! 

-Shady ass politician. I should have known.

-WHY ISN’T PRYIA A LOVE INTEREST?!!! 

-OMG THIS IS TURNING INTO A SHIT SHOW!!!!

-y’ll stupid. 

-OMG WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is clearly a set up!!