#and was not particularly cut up about it 🤣

[theemporium]

💰 charles finds your olddd Pinterest boards filled with things little you once wanted. so of course, he buys them all for you. one by one each day until you start realising what they are🤣 charles loving & spoiling even little inner child you <3

like… is that a PONY??

thank you for requesting!🫶🏽

.

It was subtle at first.

Charles was a giver in every sense of the word, and that was something you had come to learn and appreciate over the time you knew each other. However, for a relationship that started on the foundation of him buying you gifts, it wasn’t particularly odd for him to splurge some money on you for pointless reasons whenever he felt like it.

You were used to the bouquet of flowers. 

You were used to the small pieces of jewellery. 

You were used to the fancy dinners at high-end restaurants. 

However, when Charles handed you a box with a very old but familiar pair of designer heels you remembered seeing all over the magazine covers when you were in school, it did make you raise your eyebrows a little. 

But Charles kissed away any second thoughts or questions you had before grinning widely, telling you he hoped you would wear them to the restaurant he was taking you to that night. And truthfully, you didn’t think twice about them as you thanked him for the gift. 

Yet, slowly but surely, more of his gifts started making you a little suspicious. 

You loved your boyfriend. You truly did. But he was never the most observant in real life despite his skills in a car, and you highly doubted that he just happened to remember all these random conversations you apparently had months ago. The mere fact he would use that excuse every time you questioned it should have been reason enough for you to know something was up. 

However, the confrontation didn’t happen until Charles had driven you out of Monaco, into some nice countryside in the south of France. 

“You bought me a what?!” 

Charles grinned proudly as he gestured to the building around you, surrounded by large fields that disappeared into the horizon. “A stable!”

“Charles,” you started but the words died in your throat as you tried to take it all in. You could hear the horses inside, neighing and huffing and probably wanting to be let out into the fields rather than the stalls they were currently resting in. Hell, the fact there was more than one was overwhelming.

“I even got your favourite kind of horse!” Charles continued, just making your confusion grow. 

“My favourite kind of horse?” You questioned with your brows furrowed together.

“Yes, it’s all black like the one in—” However, before he could even finish his sentence, he cut himself off. His eyes widened like he realised he said something he shouldn’t have, and that suspicion in you spiked once again.

“Like the one in what?” You questioned, though he remained silent. “Like the one in what, Charles?” 

“Nothing,” he tried to laugh it off.

“Charles.”

His cheeks flushed a pretty pink colour as his expression grew sheepish. “I…found one of your old moodboard things. On that app you sometimes use.” 

And your heart melted when you realised what exactly he found. An old Pinterest board you had started in your early teens and added to throughout the years until your early twenties. It was a collection of desires and wishes you had made growing up, a place for you to put the things you always considered unattainable.

And here you had a boyfriend checking everything off the board like it was a list.

“Charles,” you murmured softly as you moved closer, your arms wound around his neck before you placed your lips on his. “You’re so incredibly sweet.”

“I just want to make you happy, mon amour,” he murmured back with a soft smile on his lips.

“You make me happy,” you assured him.

“Then I have done my job well.”

.

[steddiealltheway]

!!!!! Tw: faked suicide not by Steve or Eddie. There are ⚠️⚠️⚠️ before and after the most graphic parts which can be skipped without needing too much context. I tried to be vague but it can still be triggering. !!!!! (Thank you everyone tagging it as such)

A sort of different type of TikTok Modern AU…

Eddie Munson is a famous rockstar and honestly doesn’t post much on TikTok, but he occasionally finds himself scrolling though the app which is how he finds Steve.

He’s gorgeous. Exactly Eddie’s type with luscious, gravity defying hair, a sharp jaw, pretty lips, and he bets if he had a closer look, Steve would have the most charming eyes. It’s a shame the camera is so far away from him, and Eddie almost wonders why until Billy Hargrove is in the shot.

Eddie’s stomach sours at the sight of the man. Yes, he’s attractive, even Eddie could admit that, but there was something about him that made Eddie feel uncomfortable. Plus, there were a few scandals surrounding the tiktoker regarding previous racist Tweets and comments which he has responded to with a thrust trap to “Nobody’s Perfect” by Miley Cyrus / Hannah Montana.

So yeah. Eddie didn’t particularly like him and the stuff he got away with just because he’s hot.

He tunes back into the video which has him holding his finger to his lips, and Eddie is already rolling his eyes. The caption says, “Pranking my boyfriend, Steve 🤣😱” and Eddie can already tell it has to be fake with all the dramatics that Steve just happens to not see.

But then Billy carefully sneaks behind the couch where Steve is sitting and dumps a bucket full of water and ice onto him which has the man yelling and standing up in shock. He stands still for a minute and then yells, “Why the fuck would you do that, Billy??”

The tone and overall reaction has Eddie actually wonder if the video is fake or if Steve is just a really good actor. But he watches it again and notices that the man doesn’t look toward the camera once and something about that makes him feel really uneasy.

Eddie has to reason with himself, if the man is dating Billy Hargrove then he must not be a great person, and maybe he deserved the bucket of ice water. But Eddie still closes out of the app and tries his best not to think about it.

-:-:-:-:-:-

He opens the app a few days later, having forgotten about the whole incident until he comes across another video by Billy and the word “prank” in his caption catches Eddie’s eye. He sighs wondering why it’s on his for you page, but right before he swipes past it, he catches the gist of the prank.

Billy fills a syringe with mayonnaise and injects it into a donut, and then it cuts to him giving it to Steve from a camera that once again seems to be hidden although Billy keeps glancing at it with a smirk on his face and evil in his eyes. Steve, on the other hand, doesn’t glance toward the camera, but his face lights up with glee when he’s handed the donut. “You got this for me?” He asks in an awe filled tone as if the donut means the world to him.

“Yeah, why don’t you take a big ol’ bite of it for me?” Billy asks, voice low. Eddie watches as Steve shifts uncomfortably and puts the donut down.

“This isn’t another prank, is it? You know I don’t like them,” Steve says which honestly surprises Eddie. His tone is entirely genuine, and he feels like he’s peering in on a private moment.

“Of course not baby. Told you I’d stop,” Billy replies with a big smile.

Eddie can’t help but click on the caption: “Simple prank makes boyfriend storm out!” With a shit ton of hashtags that Eddie doesn’t bother reading.

Sure enough, Steve bites into the donut and immediately spits it out. He doesn’t say a word, just shakes his head and storms out of room.

Billy laughs loudly, “Oh, don’t be like that, babe! You know that was funny as shit!”

Eddie opens the comments, and is surprised to find people actually defending the prank. There are some people who comment shit like, “date me instead! I would never get mad at your pranks 🥵”

There’s only one comment that says, “Don’t really find this funny.” But it’s swarmed with hate comments from Billy’s fans that has Eddie scoffing as he scrolls onto the next video. He watches for a few seconds before scrolling back up when he realizes something. He looks at the date of the TikTok and realizes it was posted the previous month which means…

Eddie sighs realizing that him looking through Billy’s videos will only give him more attention and views, but he needs to know how long this has been going on for. And he really needs to find out if Steve is in on any of it or at least had gotten Billy back.

He begrudgingly clicks on Billy’s profile and scrolls through. He finds several videos with the thumbnail being of Steve mid reaction to a prank, and Eddie notices that every time, the camera is far away, and there doesn’t seem to be a single video of him up close.

The whole thing doesn’t feel right to Eddie. But what can he do about it? It’s not like he can report the videos. He could simply just block Billy and try to forget it all.

He scrolls back to the top and accidentally refreshes the page. He’s about to block him when he notices a new video pop up, where Steve looks like he’s in the middle of a panic attack. Eddie immediately presses on it.

⚠️⚠️⚠️

Billy smiles at the camera, no shirt in sight as he laughs, “This is my biggest prank yet. Steve should be home in less than a minute. And look,” he holds up his phone and shows a bathtub filled with red water that almost looks like blood.

Eddie’s shaky hand covers his mouth. He wouldn’t.

Billy laughs and continues, “I sent him a text that says ‘I’m sorry’ and a picture of an empty pill bottle, and he’s been texting me non stop for the past few minutes. Shit, he’s on his way now so it’s time for me to hide my phone and make this look as real as possible.”

Eddie watches as Billy puts his phone on a shelf and seemingly stacks towels up to cover his phone and hold it in place. He looks away when Billy takes out a bottle of fake blood and stages a suicide. He practically shakes with anger. Steve has to be in on this. He has to just be a good actor.

Eddie’s stomach drops when he hears Steve yelling Billy’s name rushing through the house. He bursts through the door and falls against the wall in shock. “Tell me this is a damn prank Billy. Billy…” he gets closer and shakes him. “Billy!” He yells shaking. “Shit. Shit. No no no. Fuck. What the fuck…”

Steve sits next to the tub and puts his head in his hands having a panic attack. Billy’s eyes open and he winks at the camera before grabbing Steve’s shoulders and yelling, “Boo.” He starts cackling loudly as Steve confusedly looks around trying to catch his breath. “I got you so good!” Billy yells through laughter.

Steve shakily gets up, tears streaming down his face and runs. Billy gets out of the tub and makes his way to his phone. “Don’t worry, I’ll make it up to him later,” he says with a wink before the video ends.

⚠️⚠️⚠️

Eddie sits as the video reloops. He’s shaking with anger. He doesn’t think as he duets the video and mutes the other audio. “This is the most fucked up thing I’ve ever seen. These ‘couple pranks’ are stupid enough and not funny, but to fake a suicide and call it a joke… you have to be an extra type of fucked up asshole. There aren’t enough words to describe how evil of a human being you have to be to do something like this to someone you love. I don’t care if this is staged or not. This is not okay. And fuck you.” Eddie quickly censors Billy’s half of the video with a note of “watch at your own risk.” He doesn’t care if his manager is pissed or if his account is filled with Billy’s fans hating on him or whatever. He presses the post button and turns off his phone. He needs fresh air.

He grabs his keys, a hat, and sunglasses, and makes his way out of his apartment. Hopefully the damn paparazzi back the fuck off today. He makes it down his street and walks quickly, fuming with anger. He weaves in and out of people and curses the busy LA streets.

He turns the corner and rams right into someone walking at an equally fast rate. He holds onto the stranger to steady himself and keep them up. “Sorry,” the man chokes out and Eddie is about to brush it off when he realizes he recognizes him.

“Steve?” He asks. He knew Billy lived in Los Angeles but he didn’t know he lived so close. The thought makes him kind of sick to his stomach. He thinks he might punch him if he ever saw him in person.

Steve wipes at his face and narrows his eyes at Eddie. “Sorry, do I know you?”

Eddie glances around before lifting up his sunglasses and hat, waiting for Steve to recognize him enough to gain his trust. Instead, Steve just stares at him blankly.

Eddie’s heart races. This has never really happened to him. He puts on the hat and sunglasses sheepishly. “Uh, I’m Eddie. I know you from Billy’s TikToks.”

Steve just tilts his head in confusion. His eyes are red and puffy. He wonders if Billy posted the video so soon after his prank and if Steve is currently in the aftermath of it. “Um,” Steve says and clears his throat, “Was I in the background or something? He told me I wasn’t in his TikToks.”

Eddie’s heart drops. He opens his phone and goes to Billy’s TikTok, ignoring the way his own TikTok is blowing up. He turns his phone to Steve and picks a less traumatizing prank to show him.

Steve grabs his phone and his eyes widen. A look of confusion crosses over his face that slowly turns into realization and numbness. “He’s been using me for views after promising he wouldn’t, isn’t he? I even asked if the pranks were somehow stupid content but he said they weren’t. He…” he trails off and shakes his head. “Sorry, I don’t mean to be unloading all of this onto you.”

Eddie shakes his head. “No, no. It’s okay. I’m sorry that I told you.”

He watches as Steve numbly nods and scrolls presumedly through Billy’s profile. He looks down at the screen and back at Eddie. “Is this you?” Steve asks hesitantly as he turns the phone back to him.

Eddie confusedly looks at his phone and sees that Billy has apparently replied to his TikTok already. Then, to his left, he hears a bit of commotion and sees some cameras flashing. Fuck. “Do you trust me?” Eddie asks.

Steve looks at his phone and back at Eddie.

Yeah, that’s a lot to ask of him. “Okay, how about this? You keep my phone, and we run back to my apartment around the corner and talk in private before we both end up in shitty magazines?”

Steve tilts his head and glances toward where a few people with cameras make their way to them yelling, “Eddie! Eddie Munson!”

“You’re not a famous serial killer or something, right?”

“Musician,” Eddie says and holds out his hand. “One who hates Billy Hargrove.”

Steve looks down at his hand and takes it running alongside Eddie who tries not to think about the stories that might come out of this. Gosh, he thought his biggest scandal would be when he came out as gay.

He makes his way back to his apartment telling his doorman, “Paparazzi! He’s with me!”

Hopper just nods in response and opens the door quickly. Eddie sighs in relief when he makes it through and to the elevator. Steve looks at him and asks, “How offended are you that I don’t know you?”

Eddie laughs. “Mildly, but it’s a relief really.” He realizes that isn’t the biggest concern in the moment and changes the subject. “Are you okay?”

Steve sighs and runs a hand through his hair. He opens his mouth but the elevator dings, and Steve almost looks relieved. Eddie doesn’t press it as he leads him to his apartment. “Make yourself at home. Do you want water, coffee, tea, soda, or anything?”

Steve numbly shakes his head, so Eddie grabs two bottles of water and two cokes from his fridge. He puts them down on his coffee table and sits on the couch, watching as Steve kind of hovers in his living room with his arms crossed. “I won’t bite, and I certainly won’t pressure you to do anything. But you can sit on the couch if you like.”

Steve eyes him and asks timidly, “You’re not in on anything with Billy, right?”

It breaks his heart seeing and hearing how on edge these pranks have made Steve. “Fuck no. I promise on my guitar I have never had anything to do with Billy and I never will. Well… unless you count me calling him out on his shit on TikTok.”

The words seem to get through to Steve who sits down on the couch next to Eddie while keeping his distance. “So… that’s why you were on his TikTok.”

Eddie’s heart hammers. He nearly forgot that Billy had apparently dueted his own video. “Yeah, but it has to be really new because I only posted mine literally a minute before I ran into you.”

Steve looks down at Eddie’s phone still in his hands. “Why?”

“Why what?” Eddie asks genuinely confused.

“Why did you call him out?” Steve asks, not sounding angry just… curious.

Eddie shifts and play with a string on one of the rips of his jeans. “His most recent video with the faked suicide. That wasn’t fucking cool, man. None of the pranks he’s done have been okay. And I’m sorry that you were put through them - especially this last one.”

Steve’s face turns almost white. “He posted that? Was I… was I in it? Like… my entire breakdown was…” he trials off as Eddie slowly nods. “Fuck,” Steve says burying his face in his hands. Eddie is about to apologize or go on a rant about how much he hates Billy Hargrove when Steve asks, “Can I see the video you made?”

Eddie’s cheek flush red, but he replies, “Yeah, uh, I don’t exactly remember what I said because I kind of went into a fit of rage and posted whatever came to mind. But yeah, my password is 051599.”

Steve types the password into his phone, and stares at the screen blankly. He looks at Eddie and asks, “I’m not on social media… ever so… could you show me?”

Eddie nods and slides over until he’s a few inches away from the beautiful man, and he does his best to try not to think too hard about how attractive he finds him as he goes to his profile and presses on his recent video. His nose scrunches up at the sound of his own voice, but he doesn’t disagree with anything he said. Billy Hargrove is a dick.

“Can I see the comments?” Steve asks. Eddie nods and clicks on them.

“Woah,” Eddie can’t help but say as he sees blue checkmark after blue checkmark. The top comments are from @ ronancetheromance with the couple saying: “Only an absolutely vile person is capable of such a fucked up prank. #SaveSteve”. Another from @ willthewise: “remember to comment on here instead of the original video so it can get less attention!! #savesteve”. Several of the rest of the streamers who call themselves “The Party” reply to Will’s with the hashtag “SaveSteve”.

“Who are these people?” Steve asks as he scrolls through the comments. He comes across one from @ billyfan4everandalways saying: “Watch Billy’s new video and stop being so quick to judge!!”

Eddie clicks on the replies, and the top liked one - having more likes than the original comment - is from @ ericasinclair: “that ugly mullet man’s explanation is bullshit and everyone knows it. let Steve talk for himself or I’m not buying it. #SaveSteve #CancelBilly”

Eddie nearly follows the girl, but realizes that Steve had asked a question. “Most of them I don’t know personally honestly.”

“Then why are they defending me? I’m nobody,” Steve says as if it’s a common fact.

Eddie turns off his phone and puts it down, properly facing Steve. “I know I don’t know you well, but you are not nobody. And these people are defending you not only because Billy is a dick, but this prank stuff is abusive and shouldn’t be normalized especially with the following he has. Nobody should go through that.”

Steve turns slightly red and looks away before asking, “Can we watch his reply?”

Eddie shudders a bit at the thought, but turns on his phone and goes to his page. “Are you sure? I haven’t seen it yet either, and I’m a little prone to getting pissed at him.”

“I’m sure,” Steve says and even reaches over to open the video.

Billy still has fake blood on him and is scrubbing it off with an angry look on his face. He looks at the camera every so often, and it’s clear that he’s staring at himself in a mirror. What a fucking asshole. “These pranks are harmless, and even my boyfriend would agree with that. He enjoys them and he makes sure to show me how much once the cameras stop rolling and his shock has died off,” Billy says so with a smirk on his face that sends chills down Eddie’s body. “So, stop making assumptions about me and my boyfriend and keep making shitty music instead asshole.” The video ends with him flipping off the camera.

“Charming,” Eddie comments, pausing the video so it doesn’t endlessly loop, and turns to see Steve’s reaction. He runs a hand through his hair and shakes his head.

“He’s lying. I’ve been begging him to stop for weeks. Even slept on the couch in protest. But that last one was the last straw. I just… don’t know where to go,” Steve sits back against the couch and mumbles, “Fuck.”

Eddie shifts and looks at him. “Do you have any friends or family that could take you in?”

Steve laughs humorlessly. “My parent disowned me when they found out I was dating Billy. Didn’t want a bi son ruining the family image. I had to move in with Billy, and he used to be sweet really. Well… I thought he was for the first three months. When his TikTok career took off he moved to LA, and I felt like I had no choice but to go with him. I grew apart from the few friends I had before the move, and I was just stuck with Billy here. And I… I don’t know,” Steve sighs and puts his head in his hands. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to dump all of this on you. I just… haven’t really had anyone to talk to.” The man lifts his head, his eyes are tired and filled with unshed tears. He’s gorgeous really, but that’s the last thing Eddie needs to be thinking about.

Eddie takes a moment to consider things. Steve seems like a good guy. He has plenty of extra room in his too big apartment and money to spare that he doesn’t know what to do with. Honestly, he’s not meant for this lifestyle and never has been. He’s happy that his uncle Wayne is retired and living comfortably off his too big income, but it’s lonelier than he imagined it to be.

And with that thought Eddie tells Steve, “Then live here for a while. No pranks. I won’t use you for clout or whatever. I have a guest bedroom with its own private bathroom, and I usually never have visitors. And I hate parties, so you don’t have to worry about that either. I may be writing songs in the middle of the night, but my music room is fairly soundproof. And trust me, I would appreciate the company or feeling like my money is going toward something important.”

Steve stands up and shakes his head. “It’s okay, man. I don’t want your charity. You’ve already done enough.”

Eddie stays on the couch and says, “Please, Steve, stay a week or just a few days. If you hate it here, I’ll help you get on your way. But trust me when I say you’ll help me too. It’s…” he sighs and runs a hand over his face, “It’s lonely in LA.” He cringes as he quotes the title of his favorite song that he’s written. It’s also his least popular one, but it’s the most honest thing on any of his albums.

“Reminds me of that song,” Steve says with a small smile.

Eddie’s head snaps up. “You know it?”

Steve hums the chorus of Eddie’s song and Eddie joins in. Steve stops to ask, “You know it, too?”

Eddie huffs a laugh. “I wrote it.”

Steve looks at him for a few moments longer with a combination of shock and hesitation. Then he surprises Eddie by asking, “You really wouldn’t mind if I stayed?”

“Not at all. Unless you ended up doing something really drastic like trying to murder me.”

Steve snorts, and Eddie finds it endearing. He tries to shake the feeling away. He can not fall for this man when he’s a guest in his house and especially not after everything he’s been through. But then Steve gives him a real smile and holds out his hand saying, “It’s a deal.”

And when Eddie takes his hand and feels how warm and nice it feels in his, half of him wants to argue that it’s just because it’s been a while since he’s actually had a genuine conversation with another person. But the other half is quick to accept that he’s absolutely fucked when it comes to this stranger that he feels like he’s inevitably going to fall in love with.

[rollinouttahere-writes]

Pfft why can imagine the reader singing peaches to her crush 🤣😂🤣

Lucky: 🎶🎹🍑

The crush:🧍😳🧍‍♀️

Stawhats: 😳😱😭😡🤭

I don't know if you meant for this to be a request, but I was inspired. Absolutely none of this is canon to Lucky Break, this is straight up crack.

Can't Take You Anywhere

Yandere Straw Hats x reader x Smoker

1.9k words

warning for alcohol consumption

"This is all your fault, you stupid love cook," Zoro seethed from across the table. 

"My fault? How is this my fault? Do you think I put her up to this???"”

“You did!” Nami butted into the argument, “Why the hell did you tell her to ‘follow her heart’ when she admitted to crushing on someone?!”

“I didn’t think she was referring to him!” Sanji gestured helplessly to what was disappointingly, the man of your affection. 

“She looks like you with all the dopey faces she makes every time she sees him! Who else did you think it was?!” Zoro slammed his fist onto the table, not having any of Sanji’s attempts to shrug off the blame here.

Sanji’s face dropped and he sniffled loudly, “... Me.” With that he dissolved into a puddle of tears on the table they were all seated around. Well, all but one of them. 

You were seated at the piano in the center of the restaurant, which you had commandeered by shoving the actual pianist off the bench and threatening to kick his ass if he interrupted you. To say that you had possibly had a little too much to drink tonight would be an understatement, but none of them thought to cut you off, and now they’re all going to suffer for it. 

Not one of them could have guessed Captain Smoker was going to make an appearance, and absolutely not a soul in this restaurant would have been able to guess what you were going to do about it. 

“I think we all share some blame here for not stopping her the second she stood up,” Robin’s face was in her hands, too ashamed to even look at what was happening. “Especially after she said ‘this one’s for my one and only true love: Captain Smoker’.”

Now it was too late. Now you were drunkenly belting out a love ballad to a fucking marine in the middle of a crowded restaurant and none of them were willing to go up there and stop you. Everyone was too embarrassed to go and associate with you when you were acting like this. Except Luffy who was happily taking advantage of your now unattended plate.

Their discomfort was nothing though, not in comparison to the absolute mortification on Smoker’s face right now. All he could do was stand there in abject horror as one of the pirates he’s been chasing for months loudly, and publicly, professed her love for him. His cigars had fallen to the floor after he had bitten clean through them. You were slamming away on the piano, not particularly well, and chanting Smoker’s name like it was a damn prayer. 

“If it weren’t for the fact that all of you are still seated, I would think this is the most genius idea for a distraction ever conceived. I’ve never seen Smoker stopped dead in his tracks like this,” Tashigi was standing next to their table, a mix of second-hand embarrassment and pity on her face.

Zoro glanced at her, not even caring that she snuck up on them, “You’re not gonna help your captain?”

Tashigi looked on at the drunken confession wearily. She doesn’t get paid enough to run interference on whatever the hell was going on over there. She cleared her throat and shook her head, “No, Smoker prefers to fight his own battles.” It was a lame excuse, but no one called her on it. None of them had any room to talk right now.

Just as she said that, they could hear you take a deep breath and scream out more of this weird song you came up with, “Captain Smoker, at the end of the line, I’ll make you mine!”

Finally, mercifully, Smoker snapped out of his stupor and launched himself forward. One arm wrapped around your middle and the other hand clamped over your mouth, thankfully silencing you. As he pulled you off the bench, his head darted around, desperately searching for the rest of your crew.

Tashigi waved him down, appearing to take mercy on her horrified captain. He marched his way over there, doing his damnedest to ignore the stares and whispers directed towards him. It didn’t help that you were wiggling around like a fish, not a care in the world for the scene you just created.

Smoker got to the table and unceremoniously dropped you into your empty chair. The second his hands were off you, yours were on him. You spun around and threw your arms around him, nuzzling your face into his exposed chest. Despite all the alcohol in your system, you were somehow strong enough to resist being immediately pushed off of him.

“Smokey~! Did you like my song? I sang it just for you!” You looked up at him, a love struck smile plastered over your face.

Gags resounded around the table at the cheesy nickname, and Smoker couldn’t help but grimace, “Do not ever call me that again.”

All that got him was some giggles, “Oh my god, you’re so funny! C’mon Smokey, we both know you love it! I mean look at you, your face is all red!” Not only was his face flushed, even his neck and ears were turning red. Smoker cursed over how pale he was.

Nami, who was seated next to you, was trying to pull you off of the marine, ”Lucky I am begging you to stop talking.” And singing. She would forget about your debt to her if you promised to never sing again.

You swatted at her while your other arm still clung onto Smoker, “Nuh-uh, you can’t tell me what to do! You’re just jealous that I found my one true love before you did!” Obviously the only reason anyone would disapprove of your current behavior was because they wanted what you had. What you and Smoker have, you should say.

Smoker took advantage of your loosened grip to rip you off of him, taking several steps back for good measure. The look you gave him was devastating, tears immediately welling in your eyes, “Smoker? Where are you going? Did you not like it?” Oh god, you were even starting to choke up.

As much as no one wanted you to be with this marine, they didn’t want you sobbing in the middle of the restaurant because of him either. Smoker was now getting dirty looks from not only the Straw Hats, but also the patrons in this establishment who no doubt thought they were witnessing some sort of lovers quarrel. He ran a gloved hand down his face, hating every second of this.

“Lucky, you’re very drunk. You need to eat something and sober up,” he tried to gently turn you around, but this didn’t work as you managed to weasel your way past his arms and clung onto his waist like it was a lifeline.

Sniffling pitifully, you asked again if he didn’t like your song, “Did you hate it? D-Do you hate me?”

Smoker looked at Tashigi for help, but she was refusing to make eye contact. He risked looking back at you, only to see actual tears starting to drip down your face. His heart panged at the sight and he internally cursed himself for what he was about to say.

“It was… fine. I don’t hate you, please stop crying,” he awkwardly patted your shoulder, hoping that would be enough to calm you down. 

“Really?” You immediately brightened up, much to his relief, “I knew it, I knew you would! I have more songs I can sing!” Relief promptly turned to horror as you attempted to get up and return to the piano.

Smoker forced you back down, swiped a bread basket off a tray from a passing by waiter, and shoved the whole thing into your hands. “No, Lucky, no more singing. Please just eat something,” he was practically begging at this point, wanting literally anything to help and absorb the alcohol.

You openly pouted, but did start ripping off and eating pieces of bread. There was a collective sigh of relief from the entire table.

“Tashigi, we’re leaving.”

“But Captain, the Straw Hats are right here! We should apprehend them,” she protested. 

“I am not dealing with the rumors that would be started by dragging this woman out of here after what she did,” his reputation would never recover. That, and he didn’t particularly want to deal with listening to your drunk ass all night.

Just as he was walking away, grateful that you hadn’t piped up again, he caught a look of panic flash across everyone else’s faces. He saw at least three of them spring out of their seats to grab you, and he took that as his cue to leave faster with Tashigi in tow. He put two cigars in his mouth, and debated on a third after the night he’s had.

“Lucky no! Don’t you dare!” Nami was holding onto your arms for dear life, having just barely stopped you from slapping Smoker’s ass as he walked away. 

Zoro hefted you up into his arms and deposited you into Luffy’s lap, “Hold onto her and do not let go for the rest of the night.” 

Luffy immediately coiled his arms around you, not wanting you to get up and do anything else. He propped his head onto your shoulder and huffed at the whole ordeal, “Lucky, why do you have to like a marine of all people?”

“The heart wants what the heart wants, you wouldn’t get it,” you sigh dreamily, eying up Smoker’s retreating form until he was out of sight.

“Can’t we just leave now? Please,” Usopp pleaded, slumped down in his seat to the point that only his nose remained visible. 

“No, we need to give Smoker a head start, we can’t risk Lucky spotting him again,” Nami immediately shot that idea down. It’s not like she didn’t want to leave, she absolutely did, but she couldn’t risk everything that just happened repeating.

—

This had to have been the worst hangover of your life, you don’t think it could get worse than this. The events of last night were blurry, but not enough to save you from the crushing humiliation of everything you did. Currently you were seated at the table on the main deck upon Chopper’s insistence that the fresh air would make you feel better.

Due to your head being buried in your arms, you don’t see who’s approaching. Suddenly, something is dropped on your head, making you groan from the contact. You lift your head enough to glare at the perpetrator, “Nami why?”

The smug look on her face was enough to make anyone’s blood run cold, “Oh no reason, I just thought you might want to look at the newspaper this morning.”

Oh god. The look on her face promised that you would NOT want to see it, but it was too late to ignore it now. You sat up faster than you thought you could in your given state and snatched up the paper, only to almost scream when you saw the cover story.

“Scandalous! Pirate and Marine have lovers quarrel in restaurant!”

Immediately beneath the title was a picture of you clinging onto Smoker with tears and snot running down your face. Truly they couldn’t have gotten a worse picture of you if they tried. Not that Smoker looked much better with the genuine panic flitting across his face.

“He’s going to kill me,” you say barely above a whisper.

[whumpofalltime]

whump of all time

SEMIFINALS!

Find links and propaganda under the cut. Quarterfinalist and later match-ups are untagged, so your votes and reblogs matter!

Once Upon A Time:

(gifset 1, gifset 2)

"There's blood, wounds, captivity, bondage, a slow-dipping-mechanism, a big rescue, and excellent acting by Colin O'Donoghue - who delivers the tiniest whimper and the most delectable of trembles for our whump-loving eyes to devour!" ~ @killian-whump

"[...] Killian was BROKEN. Absolutely and heart-wrenchingly devastated. He was tortured within an inch of his life (… or death, I guess) and practically left to slowly drop into a pit of eternal despair.

Killian was not easy to break. He would get injured and get back up with a sneer and an "I'm alright love you should see the other guy".

But to reach that point? The point of telling Emma she should have kept herself safe instead of saving him from this torment, to hold on to her like she was his lifeline, to SMILE that small smile from the first bit of hope he'd gotten since he ended up there?

The relief upon watching this episode for the first time was visceral. For two episodes we knew Hook was being tortured, we saw him try and fail to limp to safety, we saw his resolve and defiance desperately hold on, we saw him accept his fate, we saw him preferring to be tortured further than hurt his friends… And then he got saved! And he had no witty comeback, no effort to hide his pain. He just fucking collapsed in the arms of his beloved, of his saviour, and held on for a moment to realize that it was real, she was there, he was finally safe.

Add to that some amazing, jaw-dropping, emotional acting by Colin O'Donoghue, how can you get any better than that?

Anyway vote for ouat. Because this whole torture mini arc existing is probably what caused a chain reaction of me understanding and accepting I love whump, so. I wouldn't be here torturing blorbos if it weren't for it 🤣" @piracytheorist

"god tier acting" ~ @caliburn-the-sword

The Young Blood Chronicles (Save Rock and Roll's music videos, Fall Out Boy):

(link)

"Everyone gets bloodied, bruised, beaten up, tortured, rescued, limbs are amputated - it's brutal. Alone Together is particularly strong."

sorry for being late, but you want YBC propaganda? then you're getting YBC propaganda. I know you're a FOB fan, but I will be writing this for the benefit of those who don't know what YBC is, for better propaganda purposes! and yeah this is gonna be LONG. sorry.

So! The Youngblood Chronicles (shortened to YBC) is a series of 11 music videos made by the band Fall Out Boy, for their album Save Rock And Roll (you know this album, it's the one with My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark on it). The whole thing is quite short, less than fifty minutes long (even shorter if you don't count the uncut version's credits!!), and every single music video has some element of whump in it. This propaganda is gonna break down each individual music vid, and at i'll also talk a little bit about the irl context the album was written in, and why even THAT can be a little bit whumpy if you're insane like me!

(note: i'm going in the original release order over the uncut order, hence why i'm starting with MSKWYDITD instead of The Phoenix)

My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark: Arguably the least whump-y out of all of them, but man, seeing all of Fall Out Boy's discography and memorabilia be burnt while people are dancing around the destruction? Man, when you know the real life stuff (the reception the band had in 2009, leading to them to take a three year hiatus)... and at the end, you see four guys bound in the back of a van!! And that van is getting burnt!! Burn everything you love and burn the... ashes.

The Phoenix: NOW here's the first of MANY whump tastes you'll get. Patrick Stump, the singer/cutie of the band, gets kidnapped, tied to a chair, has his hand CHOPPED OFF and mailed to his bandmate/best friend Pete Wentz, then gets tied down and utterly tortured by women who are laughing at his misery the entire time, getting prodded and stabbed by tools for... well, you'll see. By the end of the video, Pete and the other two members of FOB (Joe Trohman and Andy Hurley) have been kidnapped by these mysterious women too, with Pete specifically getting kidnapped by the blonde woman he was in bed with when Patrick's hand got delivered to him. If you enjoy cute boys getting tied down, covered in blood, and writhing around like worms while getting tortured... well you'll enjoy all of YBC but specifically you'll enjoy this!! I did :D! The war is won, before it's begun, release the doves, surrender love...

Young Volcanoes: Good news, FOB has been reunited! Bad news, by the women who dismembered Patrick! And now all the band members are tied to chairs, hooked up to IVs full of god knows what types of drugs, and blindfolded (all except Patrick). They are then forced to drink, snort hard drugs, and are force fed Patrick's organs! Yep, all four of them are forced to eat their lead singer's guts, and are so fucking drugged up they don't even realize what's happening (and now you know what the women were doing to him in the last mv, and you even get a nice little shot of the hack job of stitching him back up)!! Patrick hallucinates everyone having fun, but of course, at the end, all of them are knocked out because of the drugs. Americana, exotica, do you wanna feel a little beautiful baby?

Alone Together: This is the song the OG propaganda mentioned, and for good reason. All four of them are shipped off into little personalized torture rooms, and, well, tortured! Pete is able to break out and even steals the hook from the girl who was torturing him, but little does he know that'll be his own undoing... also, in general, this song has some whumpy elements, specifically the line "my heart is like a stallion/they love it more when it's broke-in"... but notice how easy it is to hear "broke-in" as "broken"! At the end of the video, Pete is at least able to find Patrick (Joe and Andy have NOT been having a good time, either!! But sadly, they aren't found by Pete, but Pete DOES find Big Sean), and is even able to attach the hook to the stump (ha!) where his hand used to be. But something is clearly wrong with Patrick now. His eyes are yellow, and as the song ends, we hold on him, sneering and twitching. This is the road to ruin - and we're started at the end...

The Mighty Fall: First off if you say this is the worst song off of SRAR I will hunt you for sport. OKAY ANYWAYS, chronologically this comes after MSKWYDITD, and yeah, the four guys are the members of FOB. Pete is able to free himself with Patrick's new hook hand, and is able to get the other three out while Pete is hacking up a lung from the fire they just barely escaped. But they're not done getting their shit rocked yet. A gang of children show up (the leader being the kid Patrick waved at right before he was kidnapped back in the Phoenix MV), and proceed to separate them and beat the living shit out of them. The leader kid who's chasing Patrick plays something on a boombox... which triggers Patrick to go yellow-eyed again (from here on out i'll call it "going Youngblood" or "Youngblood self"). It was confirmed in the commentary track that ANY music would cause him to go Youngblood. And knowing Patrick IRL fucking loves to create/compose music... yeah! Take something he loves and turn it into something that drives him insane!! I'm normal!! And also the irl parallel you could draw to his solo career doing the same thing to him (on a less uh Dramatic level but you know)!!! Ouch!!!! Big Sean is able to save Patrick, but at the cost of his own life (and a killer rap verse... HELL YEAH I'M A DICK GIRL, ADDICTED TO YOU). Oh, how the mighty fall in love...

Just One Yesterday: The last vestiges of comfort you're gonna get for a WHILE. The four are separated, getting even more beaten up, Pete vomits up a snake, Andy gets his shit rocked by a homeless guy, Joe has to use white sheets as a makeshift tourniquet bc his leg got fucked up in The Mighty Fall MV, and Patrick is picked up by a kind stranger (hi Foxes! you have a very pretty voice! PLEASE KEEP YOUR HANDS ON THE STEERING WHEEL!). And finally, finally we get a hope spot. Fall Out Boy is reunited (the part where Andy just grabs onto Patrick's arm, in disbelief they're both alive... augh!!! AUGH!!!!), and for a moment, it seems they've been delivered to a hospital... before Foxes' eyes go completely black, looking at Patrick... and turns on the radio. She's able to trigger the Youngblood. And now Patrick is gone. The other three scramble into the hospital, Patrick not far behind, determined to kill them to stop the noise in his head. If Heaven's grief brings Hell's reign, then I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday...

Where Did The Party Go: Patrick, now fully consumed by the Youngblood brainwashing, is now stalking his bandmates in a hospital. Patrick is seeing visions of the hospital as an abandoned party, Andy has to painfully disinfect the wounds he's gotten, Pete is able to call for the police, and Joe... oh, poor Joe. He barricades himself into a room, but not well enough. Patrick finds him, and kills him, slitting his throat with the hook hand, showing no remorse at all... until Andy and Pete find them. The Youngblood wears off, and Patrick looks to what he's done, and is horrified at what he's done to his friend. And, bad news for him, the police are here, ready to arrest the murderer. All Andy and Pete can do is watch as tears roll down Patrick's eyes. And for the extra IRL context, this was the first song written for the album that made Pete and Patrick realize they had to get FOB back together... so lets match that with a music video where the member who helped get the band together in the first place dies. By the hands of the kid he found. Let's fade away together, one dream at a time...

Death Valley: Joe gets... uh, a little comfort? I mean, he thinks he's getting sent to heaven but goes to hell, buuuuut I think doing drugs in rock and roll hell with Tommy Lee is actually a pretty sweet deal, better than the deal the other three got! Pete and Andy are being interrogated while Patrick is in a jail cell. We find out that the cult that kidnapped them, Silence the Noise, is lead by Pete's girlfriend from WAAAAY back in the Phoenix MV, Courtney Love. And at the end of the MV... Patrick is bailed out of jail by Silence the Noise. They have him again. And this time, they're not gonna let him walk out until he's fully under their control. 'Cause tonight it's just fire alarms and losing you...

Rat a Tat: Silence the Noise has Patrick, and they utterly brainwash him, A Clockwork Orange style, with electroshock stimulation to keep him from looking away or closing his eyes, until there is nothing left. Patrick Stump does not exist anymore. Only the Youngblood, pliant under the control of Silence the Noise, tasked to destroy what he once loved; music. Andy dies at the hands of the cult, and now Pete has to protect a briefcase, the thing that got them into this mess, and keep it away from Silence the Noise, all while his best friend hunts him down. Are you ready for another bad poem?

Miss Missing You: THE WHUMPIEST OF THE WHUMP. What if we were best friends but you've been driven insane and I know the only way to stop you is to kill you and it was my fault you got into this mess and I was the one who gave you the weapon that will be my own undoing. What if we both died at the same time. What if we died, both of us failing the mission we had before us. What if that was a reference to one of their first music videos. What if this song was originally written for Patrick's solo album but he realized it was more of a Fall Out Boy song so it was scrapped until now. What if there's a legit argument to be made that half the lyrics for this song was written by Patrick. What if we were both boys. Grips walls, yeha i'm normal. If you don't watch ANY other music vid, watch Miss Missing You. Sometimes before it gets better, the darkness gets bigger. The person that you'd take a bullet for is behind the trigger.

Save Rock And Roll: And our final track gives us a final bit of comfort. Patrick is able to overcome the Youngblood, and gets into heaven, where all of FOB is finally, finally reunited. God (aka Elton John) gives them new instruments and brings them back to earth, so they can do what they love; play music together. Which just so happens to release people from the control of Silence the Noise! But, because we can't have nice things, a cult within Silence the Noise got a hold of the briefcase, and summoned a spirit that starts to kill everyone. FOB stands together, and blasts the evil spirit, the blood coming up to the gates of heaven and covering Elton John in it. And... that's how it ends. No true resolution. Just Elton John covered in blood, as the song fades out. Oh, no! Wherever I go, go! Trouble seems to follow! I only plugged in to save rock and roll!

UH. AGAIN I APOLOGIZE FOR THE LENGTH. but i really wanted to express just how much WHUMP they manage to fit into less than fifty minutes, all backed by an amazing album colored by the three years they were apart. colored by how they grew, colored by how bad the hiatus was for Patrick specifically, colored by how Confessions of a Pariah got Pete to reach out to help him, and this album came out of it, Fall Out Boy came back out of it, and now here we are, ten years later, with the title track being performed every night for their concert, with all the band singing the final lines together, and the line you are what you love, not who loves you hitting every single night.

SORRY. LISTEN TO FALL OUT BOY. thanks for letting me rant.

[legacyshenanigans]

Hello ~ first of all I want to apologize if my English is not great it's not my first language 😅

I really enjoy your posts, I'm looking forward to the next ones! Your Marvolo is awesome, thanks for this new obsession 🤣

I NEED SOME DRAMA

Can you write about MC finding out that Marvolo is a muggle-killing psychopath who feeds body parts to his snake?

Thanks 😁

Hello! :) Your English is fine, don't worry! 😊

And thank you so much! 💖

I really like the idea of this ask, so I will write a little something for it, I didn't particularly want to delve into that side of things (MC finding out too much about that stuff) but when I read it something was floating around so here it is 😁

(Please take this as a stand alone piece and not part of this smutty little series I have going on haha)

Marvolo and MC🐍

TW: Mentions of blood, dead bodies, the cutting up of bodies, this one's a tad dark I guess.

MC had been observing the back door of a building in some run down old town she'd seen Marvolo going into, she watched for hours, seeing people come and go, some looked like normal everyday folk, some looked like obvious dark wizards, she couldn't help but wonder why Marvolo had been in there for so long, eventually, under the cover of the disillusionment charm she snuck inside.

The smell was grim, it was a dank place, there was a long corridor, doors everywhere, the sounds of muffled screams and groans coming from all angles, she made her way to a staircase leading down to a basement area, seeing yet another door in the corner, it was even more grim in there, cold too, buckets of blood, bodies in bags, chains on the walls and floors, MC couldn't help but bring her hand to her mouth, what the hell was this place? Her head snapped to the side after she heard Marvolos voice coming from the room as someone was leaving with bags dripping with blood in their hands, she snuck into that room seeing Marvolo next to a dark wizard, and a large table with a dead body on it in the centre of the room, Marvolo stood there, a cigarette hanging from his lips, before he spoke to the wizard next to him.

Marvolo: Hand me the Bone Saw.

Wizard: *Hands him a small saw*

Marvolo: Pfft *chuckles* No you fucking idiot.. The BIG one, I'm cutting off a leg, not a damn finger..

Wizard: Oh..Sorry *chuckles*

MC came out of her disillusionment, which made Marvolo and the man look over, the man whipped out his wand, Marvolo grabbed his arm, not taking his eye's from MC.

Marvolo: Leave her..

Wizard: But-

Marvolo: Shut up..Leave.

The Wizard left the room, looking at MC with a nasty glare as he did so..Marvolo stared at her, with a strangly calm face.

Marvolo: Well..Not the place I'd WANT you to see me..But here we are.

MC: What the fuck is this place?

Marvolo: Work..Thats all you need to know.

MC: Marvolo, you're in here cutting up a dead body.

Marvolo: Its Rereks feeding night *smirks*

MC: (?!) Is that all you're going to say?

Marvolo: *sighs as he flicks his cigarette into a bucket of god knows what next to him* MC, we shouldn't talk here..Go to my home and wait for me..

MC: Mar-

Marvolo: Please...

MC gave him a confused and concerned look as she ran out of there... Once at the Gaunt home, she entered his room and sat on his bed, not quite believing what she'd just seen, Rerek raised his head, looking over at her, she looked up at him, a small frown on her face. He seemingly hissed something at her, not that she could understand. An hour or so went by when Marvolo entered the room carrying a large bag, he looked at her before looking over at Rerek. He placed the bag down, taking out a leg and placing it in the vivarium.

Rerek: Are you not worried about her seeing this?

Marvolo: *parseltongue* She saw alot more when she turned up at the den before...

Rerek: Oh..*hissy laugh* Well, this is certainly interesting, if I wasn't so hungry I'd listen in to this conversation..May I eat now?

Marvolo: *Parseltongue* Go ahead..

Rerek started to make work of the leg presented to him, making MC look away, Marvolo approached her as she sat on his bed, looking down at her. She looked up at him.

MC: So that's what you do for work?! Kill muggles?!

Marvolo: No actually..I just handle the money for the business..But when I need to get food for Rerek, I collect things other than money..Which you unfortunately saw.

MC: So you've never killed a muggle there yourself?

Marvolo: Not there, no.

MC: But you have in general?!

Marvolo: Why are you acting like this is brand new information? *narrows his eyes and smirks* You knew when we met I was dubious..Though, I always did try and hide THAT side of things from you atleast.

He stepped closely to MC, his body standing close between her legs as she sat, she couldn't help but bite her lip slightly..He leaned his head down a little closer to her.

Marvolo: Does this mean you don't want to play with me anymore? *wicked little grin*

MC: I...I dont know.

Marvolo: "I dont know" isn't good enough.

MC: Marvo- MMPH~

He planted a kiss on her lips while gripping hold of her chin, before pulling away slowly, looking into her eyes.

Marvolo: You may leave if you wish, I shan't stop you..But you'll be back *grins and whispers in her ear* I know you will *licks the side of her neck*

MC: *Quickly gets up and leaves*

Marvolo: *watching her leave, before he looks over at Rerek, who's now watching him, he gives Rerek a wicked little smirk*

~

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

I may be late to the party, but I was really surprised to see that Leona was willing to sing during the Halloween event (part 4, episode 2). He had described the "Shadowlands," then actually prepared to sing the King of Beasts' song for Ace. He was even annoyed when Epel's scream cut him off. I defintially didn't peg him as the singing type or anyone to care about singing. Both surprising and interesting, if you ask me. 🦁 🎶

I love that they just casually take the Elephant Graveyard, one of the most terrifying locations for a child to explore in any Disney film, and turned it into what is essentially a tourist trap 🤣

It shocked a lot of people (when Leona offered to sing (in TWST JP), so I’m not surprised that EN fans have similar feelings about it. I don’t think most of us could picture Leona willingly singing like he’s coming straight out of a musical production 😂 but it’s cool that we get to see this nicer (?) “noble” (???) side of him when he’s in a good enough of a mood.

Leona doesn’t particularly hold a fondness for singing, so it’s not like he’s eager to do the actual act of it. In fact, I would argue Leona usually looks down on singing and considers it a waste of time; he mentions that his older brother often wastes the day singing and dancing instead of actually doing his duties as king. However, Leona does offer to sing a particular song (by the King of Beasts) for Ace because he’s passionate about the subject matter of the lyrics (he’s giving a small smile as he speaks about it).

As we see in episode 2, Leona holds great regard for the King of Beasts, who persisted and used intelligence to come into power rather than already having that power by birthright. We also learn through various side content (such as Leona’s birthday boy vignettes) that in spite of having complicated relationships with his family and his people, he genuinely loves his country and actively thinks about how to improve or to safeguard it in the future. Both Leona’s respect for the King of Beasts and Leona’s love for the Sunset Savanna come through in his willingness to sing a song about “future hopes”.

Firstly, the song is considered a classic passed down in Leona’s homeland; it’s basically a symbol of national history and pride--and even from a young age, Leona would ask it to be sung to him over other songs that he felt were less interesting or ambitious. This implies that Leona has always looked up to the King of Beasts, what he stood for, and his vision for unity. It makes sense given that young Leona was dealing with the personal demons of growing up second born like the King of Beasts had. The song was very likely one of his coping mechanisms and gave him hope that even without being the elder of the Kingscholar brothers, he could still be as influential and as revered as the King of Beasts was and still is to this day).

Again, the actual subject matter of the song is said to be “about [... preparing] for any eventuality” and that it “represents the King of Beasts’s spirit of persistence”. To Leona, who has always been put down for being who he is, a song about that specific topic must be extremely personal and inspirational to him. He doesn’t want a “preachy lullaby” from his caretakers about how the world is a small place; he’s just as ambitious as the King of Beasts and he’s willing to claw his way to recognition through meticulous planning, cunning, and patience, just like his idol did.

The song gives Leona hope for his own future--hope that he, too, can achieve greatness even without a crown--and that’s why he demonstrates an interest in showcasing it to Ace. It’s a symbol of both his country and his hopes, both for it and for himself.

[possibleplatypus]

I just saw this article and I'm somehow even more disappointed.

But it turns out no one warned Captain America himself that a very personal piece of his history was about to be broadcast to the world. "I laughed my ass off," Ruffalo tells EW. "I'm like, 'Does someone need to talk to Captain America about this?' I haven't. I was afraid he was going to have it cut. Too late now, buddy. The cat's out of the bag."

Like... yes? He would have it cut because it's such bullshit? The fact that Chris who genuinely cares about Steve and who played that character for ten years wouldn't approve should've been an indicator.

Reducing Steve to jokes about his virginity is such a cheap shot. Avoiding that Sam is Captain America is too. I don't even know anymore.

My friend.... this is really funny, because I also just read this article today, and I was all geared up to write a rant about it when you popped into my inbox 😂

This is one of the most asinine articles I've ever read 🤣🤣🤣 and I've read quite a few in regards to certain characters in the MCU.

First to address your point about Chris Evans-- I do feel pretty bad for him. I think he genuinely connected to and cared about Steve Rogers as a character. From the interviews in which he talks about Steve, and particularly Steve's relationship with Bucky, I can tell he really put a lot of thought into Steve's heart and frame of mind, and I think he really made MCU Steve Rogers his. Certainly any new film incarnations of Steve will be measured up against Chris' interpretation, haha.

It's just... I don't think Chris would have wanted Steve to be disrespected like this. Ruffalo himself said he thought Chris would have put a stop to it. So it's distasteful that everyone would just go ahead and make obsessing over Steve's virginity a big part of Jennifer's character while laughing at it all the while. (I can't read Chris Evans' mind-- maybe he doesn't care, though I like to think he does.) As a big fan of Steve, Disney has not failed to disappoint me time after time, and this is just the icing on the cake.

And Sam, our new Captain America! Why does the MCU seem to forget that they have a new Captain America? Is it because they're spending all their energy marketing another Captain? 🤔 You'd think he would be of more note to a Manhattan lawyer's mind since he stopped freedom fighters antifa terrorists from killing the GRC members? Hell the Hollywood Reporter forgot and Chris had to remind them. I do feel bad for Anthony Mackie. 🤦 Silver lining-- at least She Hulk isn't obsessing over Sam's virginity??

And yes, I do agree that reducing Steve to jokes about his ass and virginity are a cheap shot. And it shows how puerile and insipid the MCU has become. They have nothing of note to say and they grab for anything that they think is funny, to the point of making jokes of their most beloved characters. I know they're aiming for the widest audience imaginable, including kids, but that doesn't mean they need to write like high schoolers (though tbh I know fanficcers in high school that write better than these guys). What mature adult honestly gives a such a huge crap about whether or not a (thought to be) deceased public figure and national hero had sex?

The first paragraph had me rolling my eyes already:

Jennifer Walters is the hero we all deserve, because in the very first episode of She-Hulk: Attorney at Law, she finally gets to the bottom of one of Marvel's biggest mysteries: Did Captain America die a virgin?

And it just gets worse.

As She-Hulk continues, viewers can expect to see more hilarious, meta, and, yes, horny moments like this. "The horniness! That stuff is my favorite," Maslany says with a laugh. She loved how Jen is obsessed with Captain America's virginity because "it's the human side of him, the real side, the thing that she would [relate to]."

You're telling me that Jennifer Walters, a lawyer whose opening scene showed her practicing her closing argument for a case against powerful business interests that caused the deaths of innocent people-- that Jennifer Walters, who was standing up for the little guy-- that this strong, compassionate woman, is "obsessed" with Captain America's virginity of all things because it's the "human, real" side of him that she would relate to?? Not the side of him that stood up against bullies at great detriment to his own well-being, even before he had the serum? Not the side of him that curled over a grenade to protect his fellow soldiers? The side that went into a Nazi death camp solo to rescue his best friend (and hundreds of other POWs) when the army left them for dead? The side of him that leveled a Nazi-infested US intelligence agency? The side of him that did exactly what she was shown to be doing right at the beginning of her own show??

I think @luna-rainbow said it best-- "to reduce “the human side of Steve” (or anyone, for that matter) to whether or not they fucked…is seriously superficial, intrusive and just pathetic."

But the actress admits she had no idea this was something Marvel fans have been wondering for years, adding, "I love that that's how everybody's thinking. In that vein of that question, there's a lot more Easter eggs like that throughout the season. There's something later that's a really great moment with a cameo that I won't say what happens, but it's basically like a walk of shame that's really funny."

I shudder to imagine what horrors await us.

And if any fans are wondering how credible Bruce's intel is, the debate can be put to rest: This is officially the true story of how Captain America lost his virginity. "We didn't set out thinking that we were going to be able to answer it," Gao tells EW. "It used to just be a running joke, that it's going to be a lifelong obsession for Jen, that this is the one thing that keeps her awake at night. It actually used to be in the show a lot more, where in every episode there would be some little reminder, like you'd see that her search history was this, and she was always in asides talking to other characters where everybody's reaction was like, 'She's talking about this again.'"

You're kidding me right? Does nobody on this team see how creepy it is for a grown woman to be obsessed lifelong with a dead man's sex life? Compare it to a random male character obsessing every night over whether or not Natasha had been a virgin when she died. And for this to be the thing that keeps her awake at night? Out of all the things she's experienced??

But then Gao got the definitive answer — and permission to use it — from Marvel's mastermind. "It was actually Kevin Feige who said, 'I know the answer. I can tell you. We can do the answer,'" Gao recalls. "And I was like, 'You have the answer, and we can tell everyone?' And he was like, 'Yeah.' So this is Marvel canon. This is straight from Kevin Feige."

SO IT WAS YOU, KEVIN FEIGE!!! Honestly when I read this I almost felt relieved. If it's Feige's own fatuous headcanon, I can ignore it. Why does the status of Steve Rogers' virginity take up so much of his headspace that he feels the need to insert it into a show that has nothing to do with him? And they were going to have it in every episode? Why?! PLEASE tell me they aren't doing that anymore. I don't want anyone in the MCU to ever utter Steve's name again.

[katscki]

Just Friends

EEEEK!! also not edited 🤣🙌🏼

bakugou x reader college au

wc: 660

masterlist

You are friends, best friends; And he is your world, however even though you are madly in love with him, you don’t think it’s reciprocated. But little do you know he’s pining for you too. The lingering touches, jokes during class. He’s pulling out all his best work just for one single chance to make you his.

Todays lecture was a particularly boring one. Katsuki thought so too, you could tell by the way he would lean over and whisper something into your ear, trying desperately to make you laugh. That laugh that he loves so much. Anytime the professor said something, anything at all, there he was cracking a joke. At some point during the class you just stopped listening all together to solely focus on Bakugou.

“Ya wanna get lunch after this? ‘M starving.” He says quietly to not disrupt the people around him.

“Lunch sounds sooooo good, I haven’t eaten yet today I don’t think.” You whisper back trying to wrack your brain to see if you’d eaten.

“Tch gotta take care of y’self, stupid. You’d be so fucking dead without me I swear” He laughs at the incredulous look you give him and only tears his eyes away when he hears everyone moving.

You began to pack your things and made your way into the isle to wait for Bakugou. He always takes his sweet time cleaning up because of his strict “organization” system. Yet you always wait. Not because you can’t make it to the door by yourself, but because you feel safe in his presence.

He’d made his way to you and you start the head down the stairs of the auditorium-like classroom. “Oh my god, walk slower” He says sarcastically once you’d made it to the doors. Always being the last people out because he takes so long gives you the opportunity to mess with him a little more.

So you stopped. Directly in front of him in the doorway. But what you forgot was he’s so much bigger and stronger than you, so before you could even laugh about it, you’re off the ground. Thrown over his shoulder like a sack of potato’s.

“Ah! Katsuki! Put me down put me down put me down!” You squeak out.

“Nope, this is what you get for being mean.” He laughs at his own statement. You? Mean? Never. And especially never to him.

“I surrender! I’m sorry, please put me down katsu!” You say giggling trying to fake an apologetic look even though he can’t see your face.

He grabs you by the hips and gently let you down right in front of him. And he truly honest to god didn’t mean for the two of you to be so close but hey, he wasn’t complaining. His hands never left your waist because he feels like if he moves it’s all over, never to happen again. And it’s so much harder to compose himself when you’re looking at him like that with those beautiful eyes of yours.

“Katsu…” You whisper out gaining his attention. “Yeah?” He says with the softest voice you’ve ever heard. All the while, whilst the two of you are barely speaking, your faces are inching towards each other. Constantly darting your eyes down to the others lips.

“Y/N can i-” You cut bakugou off before he can finish. “Please.” The last word exchanged before he leans down to capture your lips in his. And boy did it feel like heaven, like the stars finally aligned. Lips slotting together in harmony, breathy noises coming out in almost moans, teeth clanking together at some points because you’re both so happy you can’t help but smile. It continues for a bit until you remember you’re out in the open and you move to pull away. His head follows yours in a last minute attempt to kiss you again before he opens his eyes to see your dazed smile.

Yeah, maybe you weren’t “just friends”.

TAGS 🏷:

@trafalgar-lau @mybabekatsuki

[phantom-of-the-501st]

Episode 9 Thoughts

TBB Season 2 Spoilers

Here we go! Another great episode with some good stuff to talk about so let's get into it!

Soundtrack is incredible as always. Loving the slightly western tones. It's kinda giving TLOU meets RDR2.

PRETTY PLANET!!!

The planet designs this season have been awesome. ✨️

They're on a mining mission???

Well, work is work I guess. 🤣

I love that they're addressing the fact that Echo being gone means they need to reevaluate how they split up the team on missions.

They've worked with a squad of 4 before, but when one of them is a child that makes things a little trickier.

Omega misses Echo. ☹️

Same, girl. Same.

"Omega's a child. She shouldn't be living a dangerous life". *proceeds to make Omega extract highly explosive substances*.

THE ONE TIME THE DOOR TO A SHIP IS ACTUALLY CLOSED AND IT STILL GETS NICKED?!

Might explain why SW characters always leave the door open.

BECAUSE IT DOESN'T SEEM TO MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE!

So much bickering between Wrecker and Tech this episode. 😬

The kids are struggling. They're children of divorce. 😔

I'm kidding, but they're obviously all about stressed out atm. They all need a spa day.

Also, is this the longest we've seen them spat with each other? We always had the odd frustrated comment but they're being particularly snarky this episode.

Echo, pls come back. It's all going wrong and it's only been 5 minutes since you left. 😭

Well that explains the weird Lion King cryptic tweet.

Poor Wrecker. 😭 He just got stampeded over.

Great, now we're all stuck in a dark cave. Wonderful!

Omega constantly trying to comm Echo. 🥲

He's doing important stuff, sweetheart, but I'm sure you can talk to him again.

Hopefully. 🥲

"What is your issue?"

Tech, honey. Nooo. 😭

I'm not gonna call him an arsehole for that because he didn't know he was doing anything wrong but oh dear.

WRECKER'S DISAPPOINTED HEADSHAKE! 😭

I thought Omega was just gonna walk all the way down the mine for a second.

Brothers call each other out on their (even if unintentional) shitty behaviour and we love to see it.

Tech looks so cute with his eyes peaking through his helmet. 🩷

Omega, honey. You can't reach the thing. Stop reaching for the thing!

THIS IS WHY YOU STOP REACHING FOR THE THING!!!

Tech jumping in straight after her even though he can't see what's down there. 🥺

Actually, I don't know why I remembered this bit just now but I gotta mention it. Echo is Havoc 4 and Omega is Havoc 5. Did they cut Crosshair out of the number system??? 😭

And if he rejoined, would that make him Havoc 6 or would he get his old number back???

Anyway, back to the almost drowning.

Hunter knows somethings up. 😬

I actually really love the use of Hunter's senses this episode.

I thought they were gonna find an alternate route, not have Wrecker and Hunter also go down the waterfall. 😭

WITH EXPLOSIVES MIND YOU!

Awww. Tech talking about his emotions!

I love that he's explaining to her that he processes emotions differently. It's not that he doesn't care, it's just that he works through them in a different way.

Crosshair mention as well! 😭

That fact that Tech says he has to respect both of their decisions!

Tech may not agree with Crosshair's choice to stay with the Empire, but he understands that it's his brother's decision. It reminds me of "Understanding you does mean that I agree with you".

Tech cares about both of his brothers and yes, he misses them, but he manages his feelings in his own way. 🥲

I'm worried about the Tech hate that's probably gonna come outta this episode though. Some people already don't enjoy his bluntness and I worry they're gonna come after him for being a "dick".

He just processes emotions differently!!! He's not a bad person!!!

Aw, no Tech and Omega hug. ☹️

Way to ruin the moment, Wrecker. 🤣

Green cloudy sky is giving Mando S3 promo. 💚

Ooooo, more drama with Cid.

Hopefully they'll finally pull themselves together and acknowledge the fact that she's basically just screwing them over.

Sexy Hunter's-hair-in-the-wind shot.

AHHHHH WE GOTTA WAIT NOW 😭

First time we've had a two parter this season where we've actually had to wait for part 2.

Overall, I really liked this episode! I know there's going to be people jumping on it saying "it's just filler" and "it isn't progressing the plot". Emotional development is development! Let them all talk about their feelings!!!

They're clearly all struggling a bit with Echo leaving. Everyone is tense and bickering with each other, and while I know the guys are talking about how they need to accept it and move on, they're clearly all thrown off by the whole situation. I'm also happy that they're addressing the fact that Echo not being there requires them to rethink how they split up the squad. Three adults and a kid is a hard group to divide up.

Omega constantly trying to call Echo for help breaks my heart. She misses him, we miss him, his brothers miss him. There's gonna be a lot of missing him until he comes back. ☹️ I do wonder how often they actually keep in touch with him, though. Is Omega chatting to him when she can normally, or is it just because they're stuck and need his help this time?

I'm also really glad to see more Tech development! Yeah, he screwed up with Omega earlier on in the episode, but he worked through it. He's not really used to this type of thing but he's trying. And he acknowledges that they're a family. 😭

Also, I didn't mention this in the bullet points because I only just remembered this but Omega using Tech's words at the end! About how they can find a solution like they always do!!! I love seeing the little bits of influence that all of the guys have on her.

But, yeah! Long thoughts post today. Didn't expect to say quite this much but I'm missing Echo and I'm a stickler for emotional moments so I really enjoyed this episode.

Now we just have to wait a week! 😭

[bluecoolr]

D.B. NSFW Alphabet

You already know guys and girls. 👀

Darr and B are both bi. B's just more straight passing 🤣, but you have no idea how tmi his ramblings about guys are with Darrell. One headcanon is afab-specific but I did try to keep everything as gender neutral as I could. Please don't hurt me.🫣

And, yes, they do hinge threesomes. (Cue their Pa yelling "When I said it's important to share, I didn't mean it that way!") (Also shut the fuck up Erasmus you know damn well you got down to ungodly shit with your wife.)

Tagging:

@the-pinstriped-hood @vincent-sinclair-deserved-better @solmints-messyocdiary @goldrose-star @probably-a-plant-thing

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

🎱

Dazed. Panting. Reeling. Needs to be grounded with kisses and skin to skin contact. Would melt into your arms if you hug him. 

Give him a minute to breathe and give you smooches before he goes to get what you need, ok? Glass of water? A towel? He'll be right back. You just sit tight.

💀

Very much still pumped up. Super giddy when you finish together

Giving you so many kisses, and praising you for being so good to him. 

If you hold him close, he's hugging you right back. He's petting your hair and lovingly kissing your cheek.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

🎱

His hands. 100%. Likes that people compliment him a lot over them. And his dick. 

Your tits and lips drive him hog-wild. 

He's real big on kissing. Loves doing it when he's buried up to the hilt inside you.

💀

His chest/torso. Thinks he looks fucking badass with his scars. 

Trace his scars while he pounds you. He absolutely loves it. Also loves it when you grab on his shoulders or just generally brace your arms around his torso.

Your tits, thighs and lips. 

Also big on eye contact, and absolutely loves looking into your eyes.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

🎱

Thick and white. 

Cums a lot that it tends to leak, which he loves because he gets to fuck it deeper inside you.

💀

Also has thick consistency but usually doesn't cum as much. 

Doesn't expect you to swallow, actually likes to see his cum dribble down your chin.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

🎱

Would love to do double penetration (particularly vaginal dp, because the thought of how wet you'll get to accommodate two cocks turns him on sooooo much).

Just loves the idea of completely filling you up and using all your holes.

💀

Cut him during sex. Make him bleed. Make it sting.

Give him a cut that'll leave a scar. 

Carve your name into his skin.

He'll totally goad you into doing it. "Do me one good, yeah? Fucking kill me."

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

🎱💀 

They both know what they're doing and are pretty experienced. 

Their individual experiences outnumber their shared encounters.

Don’t worry you’re in good hands.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

🎱

Missionary and its variations: spread eagle, both your legs on his shoulders, one leg up, ankles around his waist.

Spooning

Spit-roast

💀 

Missionary, specifically with your ankles in his hands. 

Doggy. He likes to bite your shoulder while he’s back there. 

Prone position

Spooning

You on top

Spit-roast

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

🎱

Serious. More focused on the connection and the pleasure. Does his best to tune in to you to make sure he’s giving it to you exactly how you want it.

Doesn’t crack jokes but makes you smile with genuine praise.

If you praise him, tell him how good he makes you feel, he’s gonna break into the sweetest fucking smile.

💀

A lot more laid back. Just wants the whole encounter to be fun for both of you.

Giggles. Lots of giggles. 

Doesn’t joke but absolutely showers you in praise. 

You try to return the compliments and you get cut off with kisses. 

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

🎱

Just a lil FYI: As a rule, black-haired Darrells have a more positive story outcome.  

The carpet more or less matches the drapes, though it is a bit more dark-ish brown.

Still doesn’t shave but trims to keep everything manageable.

Has a light growth of chest hair that doesn’t get too thick or unruly. 

💀

Also doesn’t match. B mooched off Darrell’s black dye for years. Did it just to try it, but also to annoy his brother. 

Eventually got bored with dyeing and stuck to his basic blond. He’s lazy and would rather Darrell did it for him.

Manscaped. 

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

🎱💀

Very intimate.

Both are big on eye contact. It's a different experience looking into one twin's eyes. Darrell's are warm and deep, calming. B… Well, he's not called Bright Eyes for nothing. 

Sometimes, they take breaks and just rest with their faces buried in the crook of your neck. 

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

🎱

Still so damn horny. Still masturbates at work. 

Humps his pillow like a man deprived of all pleasures of the flesh.

Gets off to pictures or recollections of you if you've been intimate with him before.

💀

Doesn't masturbate as often, because he gets a lot more action.

Uses his hands or a fleshlight to jerk off when he does get the urge.

Watches porn but imagines it's the two of you doing the scenes. 

Will send and ask for nudes. Like literally you'll ask him to buy you some food on the way home and he replies with "Ok" and a pic of him with his dick out in a bathroom.

Absolutely loses his shit over your nudes.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

🎱

Breeding

Praise kink

Mutual masturbation

Gagging

Outdoor/public sex

💀

Praise kink

Dom/sub

Knife play

Blood play

Gagging

Spitting

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

🎱💀

His place, your place, anywhere honestly.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

🎱

It’s really not that hard to get Darrell going. If you feel like getting it on, just tell him and he is dropping what he’s doing. 

Flirting

Dirty talk and naughty texts

Tenderness and comfort

Themed lingerie 

Lap dances

When you do anything that he finds remotely cute.

💀

Revealing clothing. It doesn’t even need to be elaborate or anything. You could be wearing a muscle shirt or showing a bit of chest. You could be wearing low rise pants. He loves to see the V's on your hips and the dimples on the bottom of your spine. Loves cheerleader and basketball shorts

If you show interest in him.

If you get annoyed with him. B likes to weasel his way into your favor. 

When you're sweet to him.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

🎱

Anything that would hurt you. No slapping or hitting. He would grope and squeeze but never hit, even if you ask. It just doesn't sit right with him. 

Extreme BDSM. He'll hold your wrists above your head but won't use restraints. 

Degradation.

Watersports or scat. Just not his thing.

CNC

💀

Extreme BDSM. He's more open to using restraints - ties or handcuffs or even his/your shirt - but he's not gonna actually push it to the point where you get hurt. 

Watersports or scat. Just not his thing.

CNC. He hates the thought of you ever crying because of him/something he did.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

🎱

Loves both honestly

Sloppy toppy. Gives absolutely filthy head. 

Considers it an honor if you give him a blowie.

💀

Since he's more of a dom, he's not too good at giving head yet.

Fucks your throat.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

🎱

Gives you time to adjust ♥︎ and settles on just the right pace. 

Actually pays attention to you about the rhythm that works.

Generally likes to take his time, because he wants to practically memorize every part of you, every little reaction.

💀

Just goes right in there as soon as you're wet enough. 😭

Tends to go fast and rough but can go slow and hard depending on the mood. 

His favorite part is feeling you clench and spasm around his cock.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

🎱💀

Would die for a quickie. Please. Spare a quickie for a pair of struggling men?

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

More 💀 than 🎱 really. 

B's the real freak between them.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

🎱💀

3 max where he cums each time, but each round lasts a while. 

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

🎱

Knows the power of the Magic Wand and will absolutely use it on you.

If you have other toys, he'll be so game to use it during sex.

However, he doesn't have any toys of his own.

💀

Has used and has had toys used on him. Will do so again 😈

Owns pretty standard stuff - a fleshlight and his own wand or vibe.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

🎱

Still doesn't like to tease or be teased 🥺

Do not deny this boy. He just wants to show you how much he cares for you.

💀

Complete opposite. Is such a fucking tease, but can't take the taste of his own medicine.

Absolutely the type to walk around shirtless when he knows it gets you flustered to see him shirtless.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

🎱

Loud, uncontrollable moaning sprinkled with expletives.

Begs you to come for him. 

💀

Tells you to come on his cock.

A little more quiet (he's made fun of how loud Darrell is), but has the most gratifying moans. Lets you know he's loving every second with you. 

Yes, he growls. 

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

🎱

Likes to lick up your back, torso, sternum, and neck. 

Will lick up your chin and tongue kiss you. 

Will also definitely suck your tongue.

Gives you hickeys. 

💀

Bites. Not enough to break skin. Unless you ask 👀

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

🎱

A shower. 8 inches in length. 5 inches in girth. Uncircumcised.

💀

Also a shower. An easy 7 or 7.4 inches in length. 5 inches in girth. Uncircumcised.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

🎱💀

Craves it. Would love to have sex at least twice a week, whenever you can spare the time.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

🎱

Is already quite sleepy when you're done. 

He can stay up enough for a little conversation and a tender kiss or two, but he's out cold in like 5 seconds.

Falls asleep all snuggled up against you, and when you wake up his arm is still wrapped around you. 

💀

Is not going to sleep anytime soon. 

Will get up and eat. He just disappears into the kitchen and comes back with a whole sub. Offers you a bite. 

He's gonna finish his food and lie down next to you to chat about mundane stuff, as if he didn't just rearrange your organs. 

Strokes your hair while you talk. 

Also snuggles up to you before going to sleep. Except he swings his leg over your thigh, and that thing becomes dead weight once he's out cold. 

[sailorstarr-chan4]

For the first time since 2020, I am feeling the urge to read InuKag fics again???

This all started in June when I FINALLY read the iconic "Freak Attraction" by our esteemed @artistefish (which is PHENOMENAL AND AMAZING BTW PLEASE GO READ IT), but then, just now, I saw that the Smut Queen herself, @keichanz had posted new smut...... 👀👀👀

Aaaaaand suddenly I went hunting for other smutty oneshots to add to my "Marked for Later" fics. For the first time in AGES. Like. Um. Holy shit????

[Ramblings about my "Inuyasha history post-2020" below cut. Tl;dr: I'm lowkey Shook that my love for Inuyasha and InuKag fics is finally, slowly coming back 🥹💕]

Here's the rundown: 2020 happened. I went into quarantine with my parents. I was determined to finally devour a BUNCH of Inuyasha fics I kept meaning to read, and at first I did with great gusto..... but..... as April 2020 crept along, my interest began to wane and depression seized a hold of me.

Then Yashahime was announced. The fandom imploded. I felt nothing. No interest, no worries, no intrigue. NOTHING. It would've scared me if I was capable of feeling it.

Oh eventually, I felt a mild amusement at all of the squabbling and ship wars and all that nonsense (and spawned a whole fucking series of memes as a result lmaooooo). But my love for the fandom/fics had more or less snuffed out. Which sucked for a number of reasons, not least of which were "shit, most of my WIPs are for this fandom fuckfuckfuckfuck" LMAO 🙃

Depressing shit aside, I dove back HARD into the Disney fanfic side of things, on top of other anime titles and old fandoms like Harry Potter. I moved on to other fandoms, partially due to feeling embittered at the Inuyasha fandom for already making my depression over my lack of interest EVEN WORSE with all the in-fighting over Yashahime (which btw, for the record, is NOT a particularly bad show. It's not a GOOD show, per se, I don't have any strong feelings for it either way, but it's NOT the Antichrist™ like fans were making it out to be, sheesh >.> It's just another mediocre sequel for a classic-but-not-particularly-amazing-original-series. Shocking, I know. Moving on)

The only thing keeping me sane about Inuyasha was watching it with my fiancé, from Nov. 2020-Sept. 2021. His delightful commentary breathed life into the series like you wouldn't BELIEVE lmao 🤣

Eventually.... I felt the desire to write again. But it was HARD. 😭

After Shameless was completed in April of 2020, I felt.... empty of Inuyasha fic writing. By a miracle, I managed to update my Big Three WIPs (An Unexpected Encounter -> June 2020; Inuyasha: Prince of Thieves -> July 2020 & Sept. 2022; and Shards of the Sea -> June 2021 & Sept. 2022), but the gaps between updates kept widening, and I only worked on them because they were already partially written/published. I even ended up archiving older ficlets into Tied Together and Bonds Across Time, but had to resist the urge to delete everything and start afresh SEVERAL times since 2021 (which, coincidentally, was around the time the fandom was tearing itself apart over Yashahime bullshit and by bullshit I mean innocuous junk people were losing their goddamn minds over ugh.... 😒)

The handful of other fics I punched out for other fandoms were small, and only posted briefly in the summers of 2020 and 2022.

The latter summer was thanks to my first InuKag written smut in 2 years: Sinful Symphonies.

So, yay! Finally getting a feel for writing again, both for Inuyasha and in general! But I still felt utterly detached from other Inuyasha fics, not because of the writers (are you KIDDING me, half of the reason it was hard to distance myself from the fandom was because of the AMAZING TALENT in this fandom ugggghhh 😭), but because of my personal, complicated feelings with the fandom and series as a whole.

But then I binge-watched the series by myself this May. And finally, decided to buckle down and read Freak Attraction, which I have been meaning to read LONG before 2020, and thus, it became my first Inuyasha bookmarked fic on AO3 in almost 3 years, and first "new" Inuyasha fave as whole since August 2021.

My last Inuyasha bookmarked fic on AO3 was on Nov. 1, 2020 (on ff.net, I read two small MirSan smut fics in August 2021, but these are outliers; I really could not bring myself to read more than those -.-).

My last InuKag bookmarked smut on AO3 was April 7, 2020.

My last REVIEWS I left for an Inuyasha fic (besides the aforementioned fics) were from June-August 2021 for a couple of updated faves (namely Keichanz's Iconic You Rescued Me, which was a ROLLERCOASTER OF FEELS, LEMME TELL YOU).

And now. NOW. AT LAST. THREE WHOLE YEARS after 2020 sucked the joy of Inuyasha fandom/fic from me.... I want to try again. I want to read more again.

Even if it's only a little bit, I would like to find joy here again. 🥺💕

[literally-just-there]

hai! 👋 I'm too curious to pass up this opportunity sooo ;

👀

^ I love how big emojis get in the askbox for no reason so much lmao. 😂🤣

Hello fellow fan of emojis-that-get-frickin-big-by-default :)

Here is a snippet from the unfinished, untitled and unpolished chapter 2 of my fic The Seeker's Chronicles :

"May I use the phone ?"

The ticket seller jumps in his seat, in a way that would appear almost comical if it were not for the dire situation. His wide eyes lock onto the woman in front of him, before they close as he breathes out in relief, finding the beloved mayor's assistant a much more welcoming sight than the cloaked redhead with menacing glowing eyes.

“O- Of course, Mrs Darlington, go ahead…”

She quickly thanks him, and goes to dial a number, the movements of her fingers quick and efficient. After a short moment, a brief sigh of exhaustion can be heard, followed by the grave voice of a man.

"Hello ?"

She speaks urgently, "Mayor Smallcat, good evening."

"Good evening Helen, what is the matter ? I thought you were at the magic show with Mr Darlington ?"

"I am or, well… the show's been cut short."

"Cut short ? Whatever do you mean ?"

She sighs, "To put it simply, the magician was some kind of… dark sorcerer in disguise. He made several young women disappear, I think he stole their souls…"

"He— Their souls ?!" he cries out. "Dear god, are you alright ?!"

"I am, but Miss Anders was among the victims though…"

"I am sorry, Helen…"

"Mayor Smallcat, there is something else."

"What is it ?" he asks. His voice appeared to have aged several years in seconds.

"Right after those events, a young woman showed up. She doesn't seem to remember who she is."

"A young woman ? Do you know her ?"

"No. I don't remember ever seeing her in town either."

"Never ? Did you notice anything particularly unusual about her ?"

“Unusual is the right word sir. She is not dressed like a lady at all, and resembles some kind of adventurer. She also carries a roll of parchment with her, and refuses to let go of it.”

"A roll of parchment ? What does it say ?"

"I don't know, she keeps it closed in her hand, she is almost clinging onto it for dear life."

"I see… anything else?"

"Well, she helped me find some clues about what happened, she was very fast at finding them… Maybe she's some kind of investigator ?"

A pause.

"Good at finding things you say ?" he says with a pensive tone.

"Yes ?"

"Could you bring her to the city hall, please ? I would like to have a word with her."

[words-etched-in-her-skin]

Pirate Alcina.

They stop at an island and Reader falls face-first into some unknown plants. Gets carried back to the ship and just wakes up SUPER horny and begging their Captain to fuck their brains out.

Turns out those plants contain a major aphrodisiac.

Also turns out Alcina has to actually work and isn't sure if the first mate is in their right mind for consent and doesn't know side effects which leaves her having to tie them to the bed so they won't harm anyone, which leaves them begging her to get fucked the entire time and soaking her sheets.

Go with that where you will.

(for kinky context, consent here would be given, since reader would also definitely beg her to fuck them if they weren't on aphrodisiacs.)

Alright, this is chapter is finally finished 😅 I may have strayed a bit from the original request, but eh, I had fun writing it! And I hope some of you will enjoy reading just as much ♥️ At almost 7,500 words, most of this goes under a cut 🤣

***

A rogue ray of sunlight danced lazily over a patch of raven toned curls as Alcina stirred, her sea worn skin rising and falling in a soft rhythm with each slumbered breath that she took. Cascades of crimsoned silk surrounding her supple curves and a slight flush to her cheeks. It wasn’t very often that the famed Captain of the Bloody Maiden got to take a morning off just to sleep - but after a particularly weary week, Rynn had insisted upon it.

Having been by her side for the past several years, Rynn was more than just the Captain’s second in command. More than just a part of the ship. They were her lover, her best friend, and the only person on the high seas that Alcina could trust with her life (even if she’d never admit to such soft vulnerabilities).

So, when her trusted companion gave her their word that the ship would arrive safely to it’s next destination while she rested, she didn’t give it a second thought.

And for the most part, the morning had gone relatively smooth. Rynn’s soft gray eyes never leaving the horizon as their beloved Captain slept soundly beneath them. Alcina’s many trinkets and treasures swaying with gentle ease to the subtle rock of the Vatore Sea, the sun that was now nestled perfectly in the small window of her bunker reflecting softly and dusting tiny prisms across the Captain’s body.

Alcina had spent the last couple of decades making a name for herself. Ever persistent in keeping her ship and her crew far away from the Immortal Mother and the woman who ran it.

She learned everything she knew from Miranda, and some would even say she owed her. But Alcina vowed the very day she walked off that ship that she would forget every last thing her Captain had ever taught her. So, when her body jerked abruptly, ripping her from a very nice dream about a bratty first mate being tied to her bed - it wasn’t with rage or unkindness that she moved, but concern. Concern for her ship… for her crew… and most importantly - for the endearing, scarlet haired enby that was undoubtedly standing in a panic behind her wheel.

Out of all of the pirates on the high seas, Acina was most known for her gracefulness. Whether she was just getting dressed for the day or plunging her rapier through an enemies heart - she did it with the utmost of ease, with utter confidence. Her tall frame moving fluidly throughout the small cabin as she gathered various pieces of clothing. Soft black stockings that hugged her curves deliciously leading up to a satined crimson shirt - the midnight leather of her boots covering up to her knees and showcasing her supple thighs. She was a Captain renowned for her beauty - as well as her ruthlessness.

As soon as she rose from the lower deck, her gaze wandering to where the sun hung lazily in the sky, Alcina immediately knew that it was far too early for them to be hitting any sort of land mass - if they had been going in the right direction, that is.

“My Lady!”

The wide eyes of her companion Rynn Lancaster locked onto hers, icy steel meeting a warm glow of concern. The rare pet name always catching her off guard whenever the enby used it. And even though, yes, while technically she was of noble blood, her parent’s ship was sieged by Miranda’s crew and them killed when she was barely four years old. That life was one she knew nothing about.

“Rynn? Why have we stopped?”

“Ah.. well.. that is to say..”

“It seems our Rynn here got a little distracted and went the wrong way” The Captain’s middle daughter, Cassandra, spoke from behind them - a slight smirk upon her lips.

Her eldest, Bela, moved to place her hand on Rynn’s shoulder. “Don’t be too hard on them, Mother. The Vatore Sea looks exactly the same in every direction.”

“Yeah! Plus, whatever they were thinking about.. they were thinking very hard about it.” Daniela added, a smirk on her face that rivaled her older sister’s.

Alcina chuckled at the four of them. It had been years since she first adopted the girls. Promising their mother very early on that if anything ever happened to her, she’d never leave them in the hands of Miranda. And not a day went by where she didn’t think about the woman who birthed them - her soft smile and brilliant green eyes. She could still remember the day they arrived on Miranda’s ship like it was yesterday. How scared they all looked - how tiny. Alcina had never in all her years running the Bloody Maiden seen the girls take to anyone like they did Rynn.

“I have no intention of being angry with anyone, dear daughters. I just wish to know what happened.” The Captain replied calmly.

The flushed enby in front of her let out a deep sigh, putting on their most charming smile before responding.

“Ah.. right.. Well, Cass wasn’t too far off, heh. I was a bit.. distracted. By the time I realized we had been traveling true north instead of north east, the island was too close to change directions without hitting it.”

Alcina leaned in, the top of her shirt buttoned in a hurry and leaving less than little to the imagination. “Mh.. I see. Care to tell me what had my first mate so distracted?”

Rynn blushed, rubbing the back of their neck nervously before averting their eyes. “Er.. I, ah.. I’d.. rather not say, Captain.”

“Ha! That means they were thinking about Mom!”

“Daniela!”

“What?! Am I wrong?”

“Whether or not you’re wrong, none of us here want to hear about it.”

“Bela has a point.”

Daniela scowled at both Alcina and her sisters as the pink hue across Rynn’s cheeks deepened even more.

“A-anyways… we should probably try and figure out exactly where we are.” They quickly added, looking towards their Captain.

"I agree. Bela, would you run and get Sal for me, please? She has more experience with these waters than anyone here."

"Of course, Mother."

The blonde hurried off to find one of the newer members of the ship, a fierce pirate named Sal Moreau. Her inky black hair shimmering like a midnight sky as she followed the eldest Dimitrescu daughter to where the Captain stood.

"Aye? Yer needed me?"

"Mh.. it appears my first mate has steered us slightly off course. I was hoping you could tell us exactly how much time we've lost."

Sal walked to the front of the hull before lifting herself up onto it, a quick glance in either direction before she nodded and hopped back down.

"Heh, not too far off. If we can jus' get the ship back in tha water, we cud be at our destination by nightfall."

"Excellent. Thank you, Sal."

"Aye, o'course."

"Cassandra, you and Sal gather the strongest crew members and get started on ungrounding us. Rynn and I will check the island for food and essentials."

Daniela pouted as her older sister and Sal made their way to the lower decks. "Motherrrr.. can I come with you and Rynn? Pleaaaase?"

Alcina chuckled as she cupped her youngest daughter's cheek. "Very well. Just no goofing off, hm? I assume we won't be here long."

Daniela nodded, clapping her hands excitedly. "Of course! Thank you, Mother!"

"Bela, I'm leaving you in charge of the crew. Make sure everyone is doing what they can to get us up and going."

"Yes, Mother."

Alcina took a moment to grab her hat from her quarters before returning to the hull and her still slightly embarrassed first mate.

"Shall we, pet?" She asked warmly, extending her arm for the enby to take.

Rynn smiled, hooking their arm in hers. "After you, boss."

For the most part, Alcina couldn’t really complain about the morning’s events. While, yes, they were definitely a good amount off schedule - she was exceptionally well rested, the sky was clear and the air was fresh. And the sun was basking her companion in a luminous glow, accentuating their warm olive skin.

“It is not often I get to see you in this light, pet. I must say, it is stunning.”

Rynn bit their bottom lip, a fierce heat coming to their cheeks. There were few things in life the Captain enjoyed more than flustering her first mate. Than willing that beautiful crimson hue to spill across their skin.

“You are stunning, my lady.”

“Being all charming, are we?” The Captian smirked, making the redhead chuckle.

“Ah, well.. I am at my cutest when I’m being charming.” They replied with a wide grin.

“Mh.. that you are.”

“OKAY, HI.. STILL HERE. Can we talk about … literally anything else, please?” Dani interjected from behind her mother.

The enby laughed. “Sorry, Dani.”

“You did choose to come with us, my darling.” Alcina smirked.

“Moooooom.”

“Very well, my little moth.” The Captain replied with a chuckle. “We’ll stop.”

“Thank you.”

“.. for now.” Rynn added without missing a beat, pulling a deep laugh from Alcina. Daniela only rolled her eyes in response before skipping ahead of them with her machete to clear some of the brush.

Acina sighed in content. Even with an almost shipwrecked ship, she felt more at peace than she had in a long time. It was a rare occasion that she got to simply enjoy the company of her companion.

The island itself was quite beautiful, even if a bit overgrown, and the Captain knew it would’ve been an absolute waste to not stop and enjoy the little gifts that life occasionally gave her. The last few weeks had been rather hard on both her and her crew, after almost losing more than a few members during their last siege - and she sure as hell wasn’t going to pass up the chance to spend some quality time with Rynn.

Alcina smiled softly as her hand slipped into theirs, the immediate spike to their blush felt instantly between their touch.

“Sweet pet.”

In true Rynn style, the enby kept their eyes straight ahead, the blush across the bridge of their nose accompanied by a tiny smirk.

“Well.. someone’s certainly in a sunnier disposition than usual.. especially considering how far off course I’ve put us.” The first mate paused, looking up at their Captain, their demeanor slightly more solemn. “I am really sorry about that.” They added.

“Mh.. considering it’s given me a rare moment of free time, I shall let it slide, my pet.” Alcina replied, smiling at them fondly. “Were you afraid I was going to be angry with you?”

“I.. well.. I’ve seen you when you’re angry, boss. Made a vow a long time to do my best to never make you so.”

Alcina chuckled. “Understandable, pet. Though, I also made a vow a long time ago. To never treat my crew the way Miranda treated hers. Mistakes happen, you will not be punished.”

“I mean.. you could punish me.. if you wanted…”

Another chuckle. “Needy little pet.”

Rynn blushed fiercely before averting their eyes. “I’m just sayin’…”

“Mh.. noted.” Alcina replied with a smirk, caressing the back of their neck. “I would still like to know what had you so distracted, though.”

She watched as Rynn looked over at her daughter, who was still very much in hearing range and currently glaring at them.

“Heh.. maybe later.”

The Captain nodded, ravened locks shimmering in the sunlight. “Very well.”

Over the next half hour or so the three mostly walked in silence, the steady rhythm of Dani’s machete cutting through the thick brush the only thing to keep them company. An almost pungent scent filling the warm island air - slightly husky, slightly sweet. Alcina’s gaze rarely leaving her companion. She wasn’t sure of exactly what it was, but she never tired of looking at them. At watching how they moved and enjoying their little quirks. A pleased grin coming to her lips when Rynn picked up a rock from the path, something they did at every location the two of stopped at. An entire shelf in the Captain’s quarters set aside solely for their collection, and it made her smile every time she looked at it.

“Found a good one?”

Rynn smiled, looking over at her as they showed her the inside of their palm.

“Not too bad, kinda reminds me of you.”

“Oh? Is that so?”

The Captain chuckled, taking the seemingly ordinary rock between two fingers and holding it in the light. Each side was completely smooth save for parts of the edges that were a little more jagged. A black so dark she had to wonder if they had stumbled upon some obsidian, but the star-like iridescent speckles that covered it told her otherwise - even the dullest parts of the rock seemed to glistened in the bright sun.

“It is rather beautiful, isn’t it?”

“Well.. yeah.. I did say it reminded me of you.”

Even with the heat spreading across her cheeks, Alcina smirked, “Always with the charm, pet.”

“Always with the truth, boss.”

The tall woman laughed out loudly, placing the rock back into their palm.

“Yes, well.. it’ll certainly look marvelous in your collection.”

“WHAT IN THE FUCK IS THAT SMELL?!” Daniela interrupted.

“Daniela! Language. And there’s no need to yell.”

“Sorry, Mother.. but WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SMELL!?”

Rynn chuckled. “It does seem to be getting stronger with every step.”

“Mh.. indeed. And it’s definitely floral in nature.” The Captain added. Her sister of the seas, Donna, had taught her that much.

Rynn nodded. “Just keep your eye out for anything that looks poisonous, Dani,”

Daniela waved her machete over her head in faux enthusiasm before running into the small opening ahead. “Aye aye!”

A single wink in the Captain’s direction was the only warning she got before her companion took off as well, a playful skip to their run. It wasn’t until she heard a loud thud followed by some immediate cursing that Alcina picked up the pace herself.

"Shit! Rynn.. are you okay??"

Alcina cleared the brush just in time to see her first mate face down in a large patch of flower bearing vines, the stench that had been following them almost overpowering. Her tongue clicking in worry as she walked closer to it, finding the enby's lean body barely discernible among the large purple and blue flowers.

"Daniela, what in gods happened!"

"I.. why are you asking me!? I turned around just in time to see them fall!"

"Rynn? Pet? Can you hear me?"

"Mmhmph!"

Alcina felt a surge of relief wash over her as soon as she heard her companion's muffled response. Doing her best not to get too close to the unknown plant, she knelt down, noticing the vines that were tangled around the enby's ankle.

"Stand back, my darling." She directed towards Daniela before unsheathing her sword. A loud 'swish' cutting through the island air as her blade swiftly did the same to the vines that surrounded Rynn, making the strong odor even more insistent. Their slightly disoriented figure slowly beginning to move, wobbly arms readjusting to push the top part of their body upright - warm olive skin covered in dirt and a slight flush of embarrassment.

"Heh.. think I found the source of the smell." They replied, spitting out a couple of petals.

The large woman held out her hand and gave Rynn a gentle smile as they rubbed the back of their neck nervously.

"Indeed, I believe you did."

The enby chuckled, quickly unraveling the vine from around their ankle before taking Alcina's hand.

"Thanks, boss."

"Of course. How are you feeling? Any odd sensations?"

"Ah.. other than feeling a little embarrassed, not really. A slight tingling, maybe?"

"Tingling where?"

"Er.. everywhere?"

"Mh… better to keep an eye on it, then. Nevertheless, we should get you back to the ship and into the bath, pet. I am unfamiliar with this plant or any of the effects it may have."

"Trying to get me naked, are we?" Rynn smirked, wiping the dirt from their clothes.

"Trying to make sure my first mate doesn't end up poisoned… brat."

“Do you two have to be gross every second of the day?” Daniela whined, making Alcina chuckle.

“My apologies, little moth.”

Her youngest daughter only rolled her eyes before heading off in the direction that would lead them back to the ship, her machete at the ready.

The walk back to the ship proved to be… interesting, to say the least. Alcina felt herself glancing at Rynn every few seconds, making sure they were still walking properly, breathing, and whether any other effects may be showing - luckily, the first two were a given. As for the latter, though... Rynn seemed to be getting more flushed with every new step that they took, their eyes darting around, tongue subconsciously licking their lips almost every second time Alcina looked at them. And eventually, they began fiddling with the buttons on their shirt, opening the first few and wiping their brow.

"Are you alright, pet?"

"I feel a bit... weird? And hot."

They took her hand without prompting, resting it on their forehead and against deep red strands of slightly dampened bangs.

"Am I feverish?"

The Captain stopped for a second, putting her other hand on Rynn's shoulder - not noticing how their breath hitched while she felt their temperature for just a moment.

"You don't seem feverish, no."

"Good." They replied, licking their lips again, eyes seeming to linger on hers for a minute longer than usual - not too much - but, of course, she noticed and arched an eyebrow anyways, making the first mate quickly clear their throat and look away.

"Mother? Are they okay??" The worried voice of Daniela yelled from the path ahead.

"I think so, my darling, but we should hurry just in case."

A few more minutes passed in which the enby had to stop every few steps to take a deep steadying breath, and Alcina made sure to stay close to them each and every time, even encouragingly stroked their back and hips - until they finally arrived back at the ship.

The captain felt a breath of relief leave her lungs the moment the familiar railing was back under her palm. With most of the crew were still working on the ship, she was pleased to see both Bela and Sal still on the ship.

"Mother-"

Alcina waved her hand, cutting her daughter's words short.

"How much longer until we're able to depart?"

"Aye.. shudn't be long now." Sal answered, her sharp eyes looking over the three of them. "Everythin' a'ight?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I've never seen Rynn look quite this flushed before." Bela added.

"And what the fuck is that smell?" Cassandra's voice slightly more nasally than usual as she boarded the ship holding her nose.

"Ah, that would be me, sorry." Rynn replied, looking sheepish and a bit more flushed than before - their shirt almost completely unbuttoned.

Alcina sighed, giving her first mate an empathetic look before answering. "We can across an unknown plant on the island-"

"Ha, yeah! Rynn came across it face first!"

"Daniela! Please."

Alcina gave her daughter a stern look.

"Sorry, Mother."

"Mh.. if you hadn't run off to begin with, little moth, Rynn likely would have been paying better attention to their footing."

"It's not her fault, my lady. I-"

"Hush.. the both of you."

Alcina could feel the good mood that had been with her for most of the day beginning to waiver, her worry for her companion starting to wear on it.

"Sorry, boss."

"Yeah.. sorry, Mom."

The Captain nodded, turning her attention back to Sal and the others.

"As it is, my main priority is getting Rynn out of these clothes and into a bath."

As soon as the words left Alcina's mouth, Rynn audibly moaned, drawing the attention of not only their companion but Sal as well.

"Eh.. wha' kinda plant didja say this was?"

"It's nothing I've come across in my travels before, honestly. The flowers on it were quite large, though. And the stench was rather.. pungent, to say the least."

"Blue an' purple? Vine like?" Sal asked, still watching Rynn as they undid yet another button on their shirt.

"... Yes, exactly.. how did you know?"

"Heh.. had more'n my fair share of experiences with the aphrodisiacs 'round these parts, Cap'n."

"The aphro-whats!?" Rynn exclaimed, eyes wide and cheeks flushed - their hand starting to fan at their face.

"Ah.. well, that explains some of the side effects." Alcina chuckled.

"Aye.. a strong one at tha'.. I'd get em' into the bath as soon as possible.. 'fore it gets any stronger."

"Oh, man.. good luck with that, Mom!" Her youngest cackled.

"Just for that, little moth, you can be in charge of heating the water for their bath."

"Ugh.. fineeeee." Daniela groaned, stomping off towards the Captain's quarters.

"Plus, it's not like Mom isn't used to Rynn-"

"Cassandra."

"Right, sorry." Cass chuckled. "I'll be down on the beach keeping the crew in line if anyone needs me."

"Is there anything I can do to help, Mother?"

Alcina smiled at her eldest before shaking her head. "Not at the moment, bug, but thank you."

The blonde nodded, returning back to her position at the hull.

“Hate ter say it.. but yer migh’ wanna let tha’ plant run it’s course ‘fore leavin’ here. Jus’ incase.”

“Mh.. you make a fair point. Thank you, Sal.”

The dark haired pirate grinned wide before she nodded, “O’course.. an' ah.. do yer best not ter touch 'em too much. Migh' prolong the effects."

The first mate promptly cleared their throat, "Ah ... I can think of at least ten reasons why not touching me is the absolute worst idea right now."

Alcina chuckled, shaking her head.

"I'll do my best, Sal. Bela, let Cassandra know that her and the rest of the crew will be in charge of searching the island for anymore resources once the ship is back in the water. I'll make a list of everything we may be low on."

"Yes, Mother."

“And tell them to be weary of their surroundings if the stench starts to grow stronger.”

Bela nodded.

"Thank you, bug." Alcina replied, giving her daughter a soft smile before turning her attention back to Rynn. Their shirt that was once neatly tucked in now almost completely off of them and a deep flush reaching all the way down to their sternum. "Now, pet. Let's get you into that bath. I'm certain Daniela has finished filling it by now."

The enby only nodded, doing their best to keep their composure under the ever growing effects of the plant.

As soon as the Captain took Rynn's hand in hers she could feel just how fast their heart was racing, how utterly warm their skin was. A dreamy look across their face as if they'd just been given the best orgasm of their life - half lidded and asking for more.

"How are you feeling, my sweet?"

Rynn looked up at her, a bite to their bottom lip and nothing but want in their eyes. And just like that, Alcina could already feel her reserve starting to fade. ”... do yer best not ter touch ‘em…” , Sal had said - a sentence the Captain knew would be far easier said than done. It’s not like she hadn’t noticed how gorgeous they looked - how needy they likely were. With skin a healthy flush and a body at the ready. Even just simply helping them strip of their clothes, it was more than apparent to her just how reactive they were simply to her touch.

“Like what you see, boss?”

Alcina could feel the enby’s gaze burning into her as she came out of her thoughts - a chuckle as she wondered just how long she’d been staring.

“You are rather stunning at the moment, pet. I do apologize.”

“Don’t apologize. Just fuck me.”

She’d be lying if she’d said those three words didn’t immediately will a heat across her body, a dark smirk coming to her crimson lips. Raising a single eyebrow, she leaned in - pulling the last bit of fabric from their flushed skin.

“Behave now, pet.. wouldn’t want to have to restrain you.”

“Oh, nooo.. please, anything but that.” Rynn bratted back with a smirk.

“Bath. Now.”

The enby only sighed, accepting their defeat as they lowered their body into the tepid water - steam encasing their lean frame. A sight, they were well aware of, that was not lost on Alcina, her gaze growing a little darker.

“Better? Boss?”

“Yes. Much.”

“You’re welcome to help me if ya like.. Or, you know, join me.. “

“Feeling bold, are we?”

“That’s putting it lightly… Mistress.”

“Tempting little brat.”

“I’m trying.”

“Bath, pet.”

“Fineee.”

Alcina chuckled, walking over to a small wooden desk at the far end of her quarters - littered with papers, ink, and her favorite quill. The invoice from the ship’s last inventory intake waiting for her right where she left it. She let out a large sigh as she sat down in the velvet adorned chair, taking a blank sheet of parchment from the top drawer. It wasn’t long, though, before the sound of water hitting her chamber floor pulled the large woman from her focus, the sweet scent of bath oils mixed her companion’s musk wafting over her.

“My pet, I-”

As soon as Alcina turned in her chair, the enby’s dripping body was straddling her, lips just inches from her own.

“Come now, Mistress. Why fight what we both know you want?”

The Captain chuckled, her hands coming to Rynn’s hips, halting their already gradual movements.

“I take it the bath didn’t help?” She smirked.

Even encased within their dampened skin, Alcina could see just how aroused they were. How badly they wanted her - needed her. Every inch of them screaming out for her touch as they leaned in a little closer, warm breath across her ear.

“Please." Rynn whispered.

Alcina rarely cursed, usually finding it to be a crude and vulgar thing - but as soon the word dripped so greedily from her lover’s lips, she knew there would never be a more appropriate time to start. Inviting, gray eyes watching her in desire. A light dusting of freckles under a warm pink hue, decorating the bridge of Rynn’s nose. Body, taut - wanting. Dripping and lean and out right begging for her.

The Captain took a deep breath. “Words can not express how enticing you are, pet, but I do actually have some work that needs to be tended to.”

“And if I refuse to let you?”

At this Alcina’s eyes grew a little darker. Her large frame lifting them both from the chair with utter ease - Rynn’s back against the mattress in a matter of seconds, legs wrapped around her waist.

“Needy enough to disobey your Captain’s wishes, hm?”

She reveled in how they shuddered beneath her - at how their whole body reacted to the mere proximity of her. The scent of their arousal thick in the air.

"Needy is an understatement here, boss."

Alcina chuckled, tongue darting out over her lips as she watched her companion's desire for her grow by the second. The length of them practically writhing against her.

"Mh.. then be a good little pet for me while I do my work."

It took almost all of the reserve she had left, but the Captain finally tried to pull away, making Rynn strengthen their hold around her waist, arms coming to wrap around Alcina’s neck.

"Rynn…"

"I can't possibly wait that long! I need you. Now."

Alcina sighed, shaking her head. "You leave me no choice then, my sweet."

The large woman looked down at her companion in pity, removing their arms from around her neck and placing them over their head. Even as she began meticulously tying the soft red rope around their wrists and ankles, they pleaded with her - begged for her. And it took everything in her not to ravage them on the spot.

Rynn’s svelte body pulling against their restraints. Every inch of them flushed - heated - with the measure of their arousal glistening between their legs. Alcina let out a hitched breath before rising from the bed.

‘Now, as I said.. be a good pet for me.”

“I- .. Alcina!” The enby pulled against the ropes a little harder, a look of utter betrayal on their face. “This is entirely unfair!"

“I gave you fair warning, my dear.” Alcina replied with a smirk. “But do not worry, I have every intention of wrecking you as soon as I’m done.”

“Hmph- .. still.” Rynn pouted. “Tie me up and then leave me all needy? Rude.”

“You know, I could always just search the island for resources myself, pet. The plant would certainly have enough time to wear off by then, hm?”

“Ah .. no.. that sounds like a terrible idea.”

“Mh.. then, behave.”

Rynn huffed, flopping the top part of their body down against the bed in frustration, which only made Alcina chuckle. And even though the enby did their best to comply, she could still hear their restlessness from behind her place at the desk. Muffled curses blending into the sound of quill against paper - the length of them tugging at their binds every so often as Alcina’s flawless handwriting spilled across the parchment in front of her. She almost felt bad for having to resort to such a method - but as a Captain, her work was never truly done.

She rose from her chair and stretched after the last item was finally written down, taking the sheet of paper into her hand. The strong scent of her lover's musk practically overwhelming as she turned to look at them - a down right pitiful sight, indeed. Hair a muss, body flushed and dampened with sweat, and the extent of their desire for her soaking through her satin sheets.

The Captain chuckled with a smirk. "Seems I should add new sheets to this list, hm?"

Rynn narrowed their eyes at her, a slight pout upon their lips. "Funny, boss."

"Mh.. poor, sweet pet. Looking so delicious."

".... This is unfair."

Alcina shook her head, chuckling again.

"I do apologize, sweet thing. I just need to deliver this list to Bela, I'll only be but a moment. Think you can wait a little longer for me?"

"If it's any longer than an actual minute, I may just rip through these restraints myself."

Alcina hummed, not able to stop her eyes from raking over their eager body - her tongue darting over her bottom lip subconsciously as she indulged in nothing but the sight of them. The thought of everything she wanted to do to her pet turning her want into a deep, pooling heat.

"Mh.. noted."

Fueled by absolute want, the Captain wasted no time in making her way up the steps that led to the hull. Giving her eldest a smile, she handed her the list to give to Cassandra and instructed her not to disturb her for the remainder of the day unless absolutely necessary. The blonde nodded, giving her mother a knowing look.

If she hadn’t known any better, Alcina would have sworn she was the one that had fallen face first into a massive aphrodisiac, her level of want growing by the second. The mere sight of them - bound and writhing - begging for her touch through breathy pleas. The scent of them so thick in the air that it seeped into her very being and willed her just the same. She wanted them. She wanted to fuck the plant right from their body and make them scream her name.

“I’m back, pet. Did you miss me?”

“My lady.. Captain.. Alcina.. please.. I-”

Alcina held up her hand to stop them, a smirk painted across her lips as she undid the first button on her blouse.

“My sweet.. have you ever known me to be a cruel and merciless Captain?”

“.. cruel, no… merciless, well..”

The enby paused and gave her a little smirk, making her chuckle.

“Touché’, pet. Though, I’ve yet to hear you complain.”

“Heh.. and you never will.”

“Good.”

Undoing the last button of her shirt, the crimson of it fell from her fair skin as she took another step in her first mate’s direction - hands coming to the hem of her pants - a sinful sway to her hips and a look in her eye that said she was about to devour them whole.

“Yep, I’ve been very good… Mistress.”

“Have you now? Is that why you’re all tied up?” The Captain chuckled.

“I- .. that wasn’t my fault! I fall into a mound of aphrodisiacs and I’m just expected not to wanna fuck you?”

“Mh.. you make a fair point, pet.” Alcina replied, her body covered in nothing but her intimates - black lace exquisitely hugging her curves.

“Good. Now, for the love of fuck - please, touch me.”

“As you wish.”

She moved like a predator in the night, eyes glowing and teeth bare. Her large frame encasing Rynn’s lean body before a single breath could fall from her lover’s lips. And oh, how they gasped as her fingers ghosted over their core, their arousal thickly coating their inner thighs.

“There is no sweeter sound, pet, than a plea upon your lips.”

An instant charge between them as the Captain moved in, gifting them with a heated kiss. Deep and languid and every bit exquisite. A soft moan muffled between bated breaths as fingers traced over Rynn’s entrance. The degree of their wetness immediately making Alcina moan in turn, the length of two fingers sliding in.

“Fuck.”

“Language, pet.”

A solid thrust punctuating her words.

“Mmph-!”

The sound of hemp tightening as Rynn’s hips moved fluidly to the rhythm of Alcina’s fingers. Experienced touches filled with absolute intention - sending a wave of heat across the enby’s body. Her sinful lips painting crimson across their flushed skin - nipping it as she went, marking them with her want.

“Mine. Alcina purred into their skin, biting them a little harder - her fingers curling indulgently with each deep thrust.

‘Y-yes.. all yours.”

“And so compliant today for your Captain today.”

“Mhmph.. yes-”

A supremely arousing hum rolling across her lips as she placed her thumb to their clit, forcing a third finger in.

“Ah-!”

"So eager to come."

Every inch of Rynn's body tensed as they tugged against their restraints, the length of them practically vibrating against them as they whimpered.

"Go ahead and come for me, little slut. It'll be the first of many."

Alcina quickened the pace of her fingers, matching the tight circles over her companion's swollen clit until a wave of pleasure crashed over them - soaking her bedsheets even more. Her soft lips firm against their own - tongues dancing sensually, swallowing their moan.

“M-more, please.” They pleaded.

“Oh, pet.. did you really think I’d be done with you already?”

A smug little smirk across red lips, making their way down the center of her lover’s sternum. Alcina’s mouth not stopping until it fully enveloped their core - this time allowing her skillful tongue to bring them back past the brink of pleasure and down again.

"Needy little thing."

She dragged her fingers over their already sensitive clit, making them shudder. Her eyes illuminated in the dim lighting of the room, glowing even more as she brought her fingers to Rynn's slightly parted mouth.

"Mh.. that's it. Be a good pet."

Their tongue warm, eager as it swirled around their Captain's fingers, cleaning them of their own desire.

"Tastes good, hm?" She smirked.

"You'd taste better, Mistress."

"Oh? Is that an invitation, sweet thing?"

"Mhm.. always."

An absence of warmth across flushed skin as Alcina rose from the bed, quickly discarding the last of her garments before settling herself between Rynn's outstretched arms - a voluptuous thigh on either side of their face as she straddled it. Her fingers firmly grasping onto the enby's hair the only warning she gave before lowering herself down into their greedy mouth.

"By all means, then, pet. Have a taste."

A hitched whimper falling from Alcina's lips, hands coming to caress over her breasts and tugging at her nipples. Her lover's deeply arousing moan muffled into her wet folds as it vibrated indulgently against her clit, forcing a buck to her hips.

"Mmh.. j-just like that, pet."

Every sinful curve of her body moving like a dancer trying to seduce it's partner. With flickering flames of candlelight licking at each one. Her movements slow - indulgent - fingers tangled into crimson locks as she pulled Rynn even closer. Where their tongue may have lacked her experience, it always made up for it in length and girth - filling her core effortlessly.

She could feel how badly they wanted to grab onto her, to hold her close as she ground her core down onto their fully lengthened tongue - the bind of their restraints being tested with each pull against them. Warm gray eyes staring up at her over soft curves, the dusting of freckles on their nose completely covered in her arousal as they pushed her closer and closer to the edge. Coaxing her higher and higher until her fingernails were digging into their scalp and her desire dripping down their chin.

A final trace of her companion's tongue up the slit of her before they chuckled.

"See? I was right.. the Mistress always tastes better."

Moonlit spheres melting into slivers as Alcina looked down at her pet with half lidded eyes, body completely relaxed yet yearning for more. Moving with the speed of a woman half her age, her lips were on theirs before they could even mutter a breath, the taste of her still prevalent upon them.

"Mh.. seems we'll have to agree to disagree on that, my sweet." She whispered into their ear before nipping at it, making them whimper.

She kissed them again before rising from the bed once more, the tip of her tongue just barely parting their lips and forcing them into a pout.

"... Tease."

The Captain chuckled, giving Rynn a smirk before opening the small chest at the end of her bed and reaching into it - the view of her exquisite body bent over in such a way almost stealing the breath straight from the enby's lungs. A slow ascend from her spot in front of them as she dangled a large black strap from her fingers.

"You were saying?"

"I- .. oh.. that.. I mean.. fuck.. y-yes. Yes, please."

"Mh... I assume you'd like this then?"

"Fuck... Yes... Don't make me beg again."

"Oh? But why? You've been doing such a good job at it."

"Alcina... Ma'am… I've been begging for you all day-"

Alcina chuckled again. "Touché. Very well, pet."

Barely a breath of a moment before she was undoing the binds on their ankles, the toy hanging sinfully from her hips.

"What are you-?"

"Hush, pet." She interrupted, cutting their words short with a single glare. "Do you really expect me to deny myself the exquisite view of your backside when you're this wet for me?"

As soon as Alcina untied the last bit of rope from the enby's skin, their ass was in the air - legs spread and core a dripping mess. A warm breath across Rynn's neck as she leaned in and pulled their hips back towards her.

"Captain's greedy little whore, hm?"

Alcina's voice was low and earthy, and every bit exquisite. The width of her hand coming down firm against one cheek and then the other, immediately making her companion yell out - their arousal glistening in the warm candlelight as it trickled out from wet folds and onto the soaked fabric below them.

Dragging her nails up the sides of their thighs, Alcina grabbed onto Rynn's hips once again - pulling them back even harder. The length of her strap forced down the slit of them, just barely slipping inside.

"Mmph! Fuck."

A hum of disapproval as another strike connected with the supple flesh of Rynn's backside, instantly reddening it.

"So vulgar today, pet."

"Ah-!"

The enby lengthened their hips back a little more, forcing as much of the large toy into their entrance as they could - the soft red rope that still bound their wrists tightening deliciously as they did. A low half growl reverberating in the Captain’s throat as one of her hands came to the base of the toy and slid it to the exact spot that she wanted it. Her keen sense of smell completely overrun by the mix of their musks.. it was heady and thick and oh so arousing.

“Mh.. I swear, my sweet. Every day with you is like an aphrodisiac.”

“S-smooth, Mi- Ah!”

Words of praise cut short by one meticulous thrust of Alcina’s hips, forcing the length of the strap deep inside them.

“Save your voice, pet. You’ll need it for all the screaming you’re about to do.”

She chuckled at their whine, at their whimpers and their moans. Each one needier than the last, all the more breathy and filled with nothing but want. The pace in which she fucked them gradual and teasing - allowing the toy a slow withdraw to the tip each time before driving it back in again. And she knew exactly what she was doing - slowly coaxing them closer and closer to the edge they so desperately yearned for. Her fingers pressing firmly into the flesh of their hips and leaving marks in their wake.

“F-faster, Mistress. Please.”

“Oh? Am I going too slow for you, sweet pet?”

“Fuck, Alcina. Please!”

The Captain chuckled again before halting her hips all together. A dark smirk across the crimson of her lips as she leaned over, trailing teeth across flushed skin.

“As you wish.”

Alcina swore those words would be imprinted into her lover’s flesh before the night was over. With a slight adjustment to her stance and their legs spread just a little bit more for her, she smacked their ass once again before thrusting the toy in roughly. An inherently desperate cry falling from Rynn’s lips as her pace proved merciless - one hand on their hip and the other on the back of their head, pressing them down firmly into the mattress.

Every orgasm that she willed across their body a testament to her skill - to her affection for them and her own level of desire. The harness of the strap rubbing deliciously against her clit with each movement, compelling the same prickling heat that held her companion hostage to take her just the same. She’d never heard her name screamed out so many times into the night - sometimes ricocheting off the sea worn walls of the small room, while others just barely audible as Rynn bit down onto the soft pillows of her bed.

The many marks that covered their lean body basked in moonlight and the sweat of their passion. And the Captain wasn’t wrong - barely a voice was left to them by the time the first signs of dawn started to peek through the small window of Alcina’s quarters. Their wrists freed long ago and their body a living covenant of her claim.

A soft tap on her bedroom door cutting through the aftermath of the last orgasm that washed over them both, her strap still deep in Rynn’s core as she placed a tender kiss to the back of their neck.

“Mh.. something tells me the others are ready to depart.” Alcina chuckled.

“Rude.”

“Still needy, are we?”

“For sleep and your cuddles, yes.”

Alcina sighed, allowing the toy to slide out slowly before wrapping her companion in a warm embrace.

“I’ll stay as long as I can, pet, but someone has to steer the ship.”

“But.. you haven’t even slept yet! Let Dani do it.”

The Captain let out a laugh. “You must be tired to offer such a suggestion. Plus, I got in plenty of rest yesterday and I’m feeling quite energized, to be honest.”

“Pft.. fineeee.”

Alcina chuckled again before placing another kiss to their neck and then their cheek. A soft smile covering the enby’s lips as they scooted a little closer to her.

“As it was, my sweet. You never did tell me what had you so distracted yesterday.”

“Oh.. that.” The enby paused, letting out a slumbered breath before answering. "You.. and.. and the future."

"Mh.. some would call it foolish for a pirate to think about the future, pet."

"Hm.. maybe.." Rynn replied, their words growing heavy with sleep. "... but it's just so easy when it comes to you."

[storiesbyjes2g]

Time has come! Use the OC list you made earlier and answer the following:

1 and 3 are in charge of arranging a general house party. How does it go? 2 appears in the news broadcast. What has happened? 4 and 5 need to buy a birthday gift for 6. What do they get? 3 asks 6 to teach her/him/them something. What is it and how does it go? 1 finds a seemingly lost cat. What does she/he/they do? 5 has to buy a quick snack for her-/him-/themself, what is it? 6 uses a search engine (Google or similar) and searches their own name. What are the top results? 4 has to take one of the other numbers to a date. Who's the lucky(?) guy/gal/other? 2 invites all the other numbers to a party - except one. Who's left out? 3 learns a dirty secret about 5. What is it and does she/he/they keep it? 4 has lost a bet and must get a tattoo. What will she/he/they get? 1 and 3 are stuck in an elevator. What happens?

You can answer with simple text, or take a picture or write a short story if you feel more inspired.

I swear you ask the best questions! I was excited even before I read the scenarios LOL. Okay let's go!!

Luca & Sophia's House Party

First of all, Luca would be stoked to plan a party period because he's neither hosted nor been to a house party, but to throw one with Sophia? Ohhhhh BOY! Secondly, he'd also be terrified on top of being excited because most of his friends are ladies he's attracted to and/or have gone on dates with. The party would be at Luca and Ali's house because Sophia's house is tiny. They would do all the party planning in person because they're both really into each other and don't see each other enough. I'm pretty sure by the end of the party they'd be a couple lol. Whenever they are together, she is constantly cracking jokes and making Luca laugh, so I'm not sure how much would actually get done. The party will probably turn out to be just okay because of their distractions but also neither of them are big party people. But whether or not the party is lame, those two will surely have a good time.

Emmy on the News

Emmy would be on a segment of the news highlighting small businesses. Or, maybe she got some women in business award and they aired her acceptance speech on TV.

Nadia & Anissa's Birthday Gift for Rodney

Ooooh this one is hard! Okay, so Kameron is the one who started this. He's an investor in Rodney's restaurants, and they have a casual relationship. He mentioned in passing Rodney's birthday was coming up but never followed up. Nadia of course is the administrator of the home, and when she found out Kameron still hadn't sent him a gift, she took on the project lol. Instead of doing something generic, she called Anissa because she knew she was acquainted with Rodney through Loren who is married to Rodney's best friend. They met at her wedding. But Anissa doesn't know Rodney like that so she texts Loren for an idea. They all settle on sending him a very expensive bottle of whisky. And because Nadia was feeling particularly salty and petty that day, the card was signed "From The Piersons and Friends." LOL see what I did there? 🤣

(this got long so the rest under the cut)

Sophia's Cooking Lesson

Sophia is not a good cook. Her kitchen looks exactly like it did when she first moved in. She likes Luca a lot and wants to do something nice for him, especially since he's always so caring and taking care of everyone else. And she always heard the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, so she decided to learn to cook something well. But she could only get so far from SimTube tutorials. They either went too fast or spoke like she was supposed to know what they were talking about. No, she needed someone to show her live. One of her favorite restaurants is Taqueria Alchone, and the owner--Rodney Eason--was always so nice and personable with his customers. Surely he would help her. So she went there one day after work. She worked 7-3, so it was pretty dead when she arrived. She ordered and waited for Rodney to come around and greet her.

"Okay, so, this is gonna be a really weird question, but I'm gonna go for it," she said.

He flashed his signature smile. "Go for it! That's what I always do."

"So like...I have this friend... I wanna do something nice for him but-"

Rodney gasped. "You tryna snag your man? I'm in! What I gotta do? You want me to call him? Gimme his number!"

Little did she know Rodney was a romantic...and a very gregarious goofball.

"I want to make him dinner, but I'm terrible at it. Can you show me how to make something simple?"

A huge grin came across his face. "You came to the right place. I'll show you a lil sum sum. BUT...you'll also need a recipe for breakfast." He winked at her. "You know what I'm saying? Come on in the kitchen. I'll get you right! You'll have that dude screaming your name in no time!"

Oh, Rodney LOL.

Luca Finds a Lost Cat

Given his experience watching his mother take in stray pets, he'd probably try to feed it, putting a bowl of food near them. Cats aren't like dogs and are way less trusting, so he probably won't be able to befriend it, not that he'd want to; he's not much of a cat guy. Since Tofu just died, he'd probably call Emmy and see if she's interested in taking care of it.

Anissa's Quick Snack

When Anissa has back-to-back surgeries and zero time for lunch, her go to snack in the vending machine is a Payday candy bar. It's sweet, it's salty, and she gets a nice amount of protein to keep her going. It's an older brand, and not very popular, but her Pop Pop used to love them and that's how she got introduced to it.

Rodney's Smoogle Search

As a restaurateur, Rodney is very much concerned about what people say and think about his restaurants. So when he searches for his own name, more than likely the top results will be Yelp Reviews and food critic blogs. I also wouldn't be surprised if a gossip blog was there too lol. He's a good boy now, but he was a bit reckless in the beginning.

Nadia's Date

Nadia had one engagement left to attend from her tenure in the mayor's office before she was completely rid of them, but Kameron had agreed to take Noemi to come aspiring lawyers camp thingy, so she had to find someone else to accompany her. Her first thought was to call Bryce, but things are weird between him and Kameron. Nick is all the way on the other side of the country now, but even if he weren't that would be weird too. She thought very hard and methodically about it and decided to call Rodney. She had recently sent him a birthday gift, and they were mildly acquainted. Plus it would be a good networking event for him, so she called him, and he accepted.

Emmy's Party

Emmy invites everyone to the party except Luca because it's a surprise party for him lol. (cop out? maybe! lol)

Sophia Learns a Dirty Secret About Anissa

And this is the part where I realized I should have picked names all from the same story LOL. Let's say it's Nadia and Anissa. Nadia is nosy, so she'd definitely try to find out more lol. Depending on what it is, she might ask Melany about it. If it's really dirty she might even ask Anissa herself.

Nadia Loses a Bet

The consequence of losing this bet is she has to get a tattoo. She would get some word or phrase about love written in Mt. Komorebian since that is where she and Kameron reaffirmed their love for each other in a very impromptu and non-traditional vow renewal. It would be located somewhere only Kameron can see when she's naked.

Luca and Sophia Stuck in an Elevator

What happens? What doesn't happen! 🤣 This is exactly what Luca needs lol. They're gonna talk first. But then Sophia will ask a very poignant question about his feelings toward her. He'll try to skirt around it, but she does not have time for him to continue being scared and draws it out of him. They kiss! And if the elevator isn't fixed yet, they might start something they can't finish lol.

[joeyleesblog]

Quaritch: All right Jake, give me Spider.

Jake: Excuse me? No.

Quaritch: Come on, you bastard, everybody knows that boy is better off with me than you and your crazy wife.

Jake: You say that about my wife and I'll cut out your tongue. Second, what the hell makes you think Spider is better off with you? A homicidal terrorist determined to destroy your home?

Quaritch: First, I wouldn't neglect him like you and the adults in your life have. Letting a child run around in the wild without the slightest supervision or survival training? What the hell were you thinking?

Jake: He wasn't neglected! He had, has foster parents!

Querith: A bunch of bullshit. How many times have you seen them taking care of Spider? How many times did they accompany him when he came to play with his children, making sure he was safe and well?

Jake: That doesn't mean they didn't care. Spider was with us, he was safe!

Quarith: Which is the same as nothing. You don't care about him.

Jake: I care, you bastard!

Quarith: Oh really? So why did you leave him behind and leave him in enemy hands for months?

Jake: That... We're outnumbered! I couldn't risk it and...

Quarith: Sorry idiot. Tell me if it was one of your brats would you leave them behind too and forget like you did Spider? There is?!

Jake:... No. I would not do that.

Quaritch: That's my point. The spider is not yours, it's mine. I will assume the responsibility that has always been mine. I'll take care of him like you and your foster parents never did. Agota, give me my son.

Jake:... You're right.

Quarith: Of course. Spider, now, let's go.

Jake: Spider never had adults take care of him like they should.

Quarith: Yes, I understand! Give me my son now!

Jake: And he's your son, not mine. You did a good job looking after and protecting him during his time in captivity.

Quarith: Jake...

Jake: But that doesn't mean his place is by your side and you'll be the best.

Quarith: What are you saying idiot!?

Jake: You still kidnapped him even though we left him behind, you took him straight to the lions' den. You protected him, but you used him to hunt me down and forced him to watch the destruction of a village full of innocents. You threatened and put your best friends in danger and also had a hand in the death of the one he considered a brother. You are determined to destroy Pandora, the place where he grew up and loved with all his heart.

Quarith: Your...

Jake: You might even love and care for him. But as long as you is loyal to the GDR, it will never be best for him. Because he's not like you.

...

I love this custody battle 🤣. I'm particularly rooting for Quaritch, but as Jake said, as long as he's a homicidal terrorist determined to carry out his mission, that's not going to happen for Spider. Jake still has a chance to redeem himself and be better now for our spider.

[mongrelmutt]

Continuing the Jules Verne kick with "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea"

Under a cut because this is longer than the others:

- This is my least favorite of his books so far. I am falling asleep while reading it.

- The professor calling Conseil his "boy" when Conseil is 30 years old, and only 10 years younger than him  😬😬😬

- *Hisses at Captain Nemo* Bad Vibes

- I'm pretty sure physics doesn't work like this, but I don't know enough to argue. Nor do I care enough to look it up. I am just so bored. Please get to more interesting things. 

- Also, lol of course the Victorian dudes would be like "WHALE BODIES MUST BE STRONG AND IMMOVEABLE LIKE MANLY IRON TO DIVE SO DEEP AND NOT BE KILLED!" Wrong! they squish and adjust their innards to adapt to the pressure: 

- Trying to suss out what (if any) real sea life is being described when no name is given, just fantastic descriptions.

- Sleeping underwater in scuba gear seems... unwise.

- More 19th century anthropology 😬😬😬

- Yes, yes I understand that the water temperature is invariably 4⁰ wherever and whatever time of the year at depth. You've said that like 8 times already. This had better turn out to be relevant. [Note: not particularly]

- I do not like Ned Lands.

- Shark slander 😭

((Why did the myth that sharks have to turn over to bite things last so long? I remember it from "James and the Giant Peach" as well. I would have thought enough people would have at least seen sharks biting bait at the surface by the 1800s for this to be known false?))

- Man, these guys are a bloodthirsty lot. Every new animal they see they're like "Can I kill it?? Please let me kill it! Let's kill it! 😈 Man, wouldn't you jump at the chance to kill sharks like you do bears and lions??" :/

- At the same time they're afraid of everything, assume it's dangerous, and, if not killed instantly, will retaliate violently in revenge, including a freaking *dugong.*

- Wow, some people at least knew industrial commercial whaling was unsustainable and would result in the whales' extinction even in the late 1800s! Wild that it took almost 100 years to get it (mostly) banned!

- *head desk* Nemo is such a hypocrite (I imagine that may be The Point)

- Ugggghhh the whole "predators are evil, vicious monsters, and we need to slaughter them all without mercy to protect the poor innocent prey animals" attitude still so prevalent today.

- ...wait, those are *sperm whales*?? I thought they meant killer whales at first! Sperm whales  don't even eat baleen whales... All that brutal slaughter for nothing :'( 

- ... Bonus for an even more uncomfortable use of "voluptuous" than Bram Stoker! Seal eyes are described as "voluptuous" 😆

- Of all the sea creatures to declare harmless Verne chose *elephant seals* 🤦🤣

- YAY THE KRAKEN!! At least these covers haven't lied to me!! :D 

- aaaw no, the giant squid didn't play nearly as big a part as advertised *le sigh*

- Ah, the classic "crap I've written my characters into a deadly corner, time to knock out the POV character and have them wake up safe in bed later." 

- Why did the Professor talk about Lands like he was dead at the beginning? I can see a few reasons from the author's perspective (varying from "deliberate red herring to increase the suspense" to "oops I forgot dude was originally going to die and didn't correct it") but not from the character's? It's not even like he was reflecting on the matter from decades later, when Ned might have died after the story, they're all still chilling together in Norway waiting for a steamer home?

Lands: Stop telling people I died.

Professor Aronnax: Sometimes I can still hear his voice.

- Welp, I did enjoy the sea critters and fun steampunk machines, just not the long rambling bits that seemed to overwhelm the story for me