Tumgik
#and we never really hung out before
bleechella · 2 months
Text
.
#cant sleep bc im thinking so many thoughts#hiding in the tags#i think im finally over her?#like today and the last time we hung out i didnt Feel it anymore#and its not like i dont love her anymore i really really do but now its in a best friend way only i think?#the Feeling wasnt there which i guess its a good thing#and like yeah maybe its the depression maybe im just not feeling anything rn but also like#thats why she broke up with me and even when her depression got better she never got back to Feeling it?#and last time My depression was bad i wouldnt feel anything at all except when we hung out#so it feels different now#not necessarily a bad different just Different#but im so fucking scared of losing her#like im so scared of when she starts dating again#and yes ive been thinking of dating again im desperate for a girlfriend#but shes the one who broke up with me and shes had to deal with this before with Him and she didnt feel bad#but when we started dating He felt bad so like. i get him#and im so scared of never getting into a relationship again bc she’ll Always have a part of my heart like even if i dont Feel it anymore#she’ll always be number one for me#and im scared ill never let myself love anyone else bc i wouldnt think its fair to them bc of her#and idk.#i really dont wanna lose her she means so much to me#and im so comfortable around her in a way that im not with anyone else#idk where im going with this#sometimes i really fucking hate being aroace#and not being able to tell the difference between different feelings#:(#whatever
6 notes · View notes
nadjabear · 2 months
Text
Girls when they think they have a good friendship with a man but then they start to like you romantically (I’m girls)
Tumblr media
4 notes · View notes
dawei-s · 3 months
Text
Perhaps I was made for hanging out
4 notes · View notes
latinokaeya · 3 months
Text
really weird experience to see your parent trying with a younger sibling stuff that they never in a million years probably would have even thought to try with you when you were a kid
#x#it feels a little unfair to have feelings over it but like. it got to me a lil aight#step mum n my sister came over today for a little while n i made lunch n chatted w my step mum while my dad hung out w my sister#n i was vaguely half listening to their conversation bc they were right there in the living room#i’ve mentioned before she’s super into pjo n greek mythology stuff in general. i mentioned id bought a copy of the odyssey n iliad for my#bday n let her go through it n stuff#anyways. point is she was taking to my dad abt pjo for a Solid While like full on rambling about it n stuff n not only was he actually#sitting there n keeping his attention on what she was saying the entire time but he was even like. actively taking part in the conversation.#asking questions abt the show or the next book or what her favourite characters were or whatever#n i was just like wow that’s crazy. that he knows how to do that. great to know#i don’t think i developed a real relationship with my parents until i was probably a teen because of many reasons. some more out of their#control than others. but even at that point it wasn’t like he was ever really interested in engaging with me or my interests at all#it’s only really now as an adult where i can like. buy myself stuff i like myself that they’ve developed feelings at all on that stuff#n its mostly just like. amused acceptance. that’s it#which is fine i suppose. like at least they don’t belittle either me or harry’s interests or think the stuff we buy is a waste or whatever.#it could be worse. but my issue w my parents has always been this one i guess. lol. that they just were never really in the role of a parent#at all. so u know. it’s just a bit jarring to see that kinda thing now .#anyways. much to think about
6 notes · View notes
permanentreverie · 5 months
Text
just a quick lil rant before i head to bed
#somethin that’s really bothered me these last few days#i have one irl person that i consider my friend and i hang out with her. but if i wasn’t the one suggesting we go out and do stuff#i don’t think she’d bother with me at all#which. we have fun together. at least i do.#but thinking about this whole year. everything we’ve done has been my suggestion#and it’s not like we’ve hung out every single weekend. she’s had plenty of opportunities to invite me to stuff#but she will blatantly do stuff with her other group of friends then tell me about it#like she mentioned she went and saw the eras movie and was excitedly telling me all about it.#and damn. that’s an experience i would have loved to have.#and she KNOWS i love taylor it’s not like she thought i wouldn’t like going.#she also has openly discussed with her other friend (who is a swiftie) about getting tickets for taylor. right in front of me. ngl it just!?#hurt not to be included i guess!? i mean this isn’t the first time i’ve had a friend openly go to an artist i love with someone who’s not me#idk am i just being stupid and selfish!?#but like. during the summer (a month i was really struggling) i kept on seeing if we could meet up and talk and catch up#before this get together at the end of the month with a few people. and that never turned out she kept on saying she was busy#understandable. but the day of the get together i was chatting with her friend and she mentioned how she and her had hung out like 30 times#that month.#and like i went bowling with said friend last week (it was my suggestion) and we were hanging out and i mentioned how now that our schedules#have opened up id love to get together more - even if she was getting groceries and wanted someone to come along. and she said that yeah#that this week would be good to hang out. and i told her to just contact me. but i highly highly doubt she will text me.#so should i just take the hint and drop her!?#and i live a little farther away but i’m always the one driving to her. idk if that makes a difference but like#idk it’s just the feeling of being expendable and someone’s second choice and never their first#which is a feeling i’ve grown up with so i’m not a stranger to it#but i’ve actually lost sleep over it this last little bit wondering like what it is about me that repels people that makes them not care#like i’ve had girls i’ve loved with my whole fucking heart and would lay down my life for them and i didn’t even make their top 5.#so let’s just say this is an issue that has been hurting me for a while#idk like i’m not trying to sound emo but this kind of hurt and loneliness is just something i have to resign myself to#and face the reality that i’m not as important to people as they are to me sometimes.
4 notes · View notes
charlesandkeef · 8 months
Text
personally while i am obsessed with duos who are incapable of being normal about each other, i also adore whatever the hell ronnie wood and pattie boyd have going on. they're just two bimbos who don't know or remember shit, assuring each other that that's okay and what matters is that they still like each other, and who only ever have nice things to say to or about each other.
3 notes · View notes
batsinurbelfrey · 9 months
Text
.
#laying here thinking about how 5 minutes before i called my dad yesterday to come out to him and talk gender#instagram glitched and in the little chat bubbles it showed me my dead mentor/friend was online.#it was the most worldstopping blood chilling glitch#she's been dead since 2016#she died before this feature even EXISTED#and yet. there she was. i watched her face pop up with that little green dot. i took a screenshot. and then after the longest two minutes#or so of my life. she vanished.#when i first sent the screenshot to tori i was so upset. being reminded of her and the loss of it all always makes me so sad#but then. as i was typing out my message i thought about how she was older. she was an adult but we were friends because she was my manager#at my HS retail job and she took a liking to me. we became incredibly close. she would always schedule me on her days & i even hung out wit#her and sometimes her young daughter outside of work. going to concerts and pool parties and the like.#but most importantly. she was the first ADULT in my life that clocked me as queer and was OKAY with that. that was supportive even.#she wanted me to be Myself and to be Loved for that. she flew out to SF for pride the first year i knew her [id only known her a few weeks#at this point as well] and when she came back she brought me a variety of rainbow-colored pride bracelets and a necklace and a shirt#she wanted me to have them since i didnt have anything like that yet. as my mom would never have allowed it#and i kept them hidden away and wore them to work and just.......felt so LOVED by her and she really helped me come into my identity when i#felt i couldnt at home. and......i am a FIRM non believer in ghosts or the afterlife or anything like that for the most part#but MAN if it didnt suddenly hit me all at once that like......#it almost felt like she could feel my heart beating out of my chest#scared to have this talk with my dad about my gender#and she reached out from beyond the grave to squeeze my hand and tell me it was gonna be ok.....#sure. it was probably just some weird glitch. but what a STRANGE glitch to happen#and what incredibly wild timing. both for When it Happened and also that i Saw It for the brief moment it was there.....#anyway. thats been on my mind for two full days now.#if it was you Jeni.........thanks. it went well. you were right#and.....i miss you.
2 notes · View notes
mayclair · 10 months
Text
last day of school today :(
3 notes · View notes
msdk-00 · 1 year
Text
i really don't understand how one can have a close friendship where the other person doesn't open up or be vulnerable at all
7 notes · View notes
afieldinengland · 2 years
Text
my aunt’s unpredictable scrapper of a cat who has about five notches in his ear just slept on my lap in the sun for half an hour
11 notes · View notes
silverandebony · 1 year
Text
.
#today i started thr math 31 course again (i did it previously in high school but now i'm upgrading to hopefully get a better mark)#and while doing the preview/review questions i was like ah! i will listen to music! so i pulled up the wolf 359 soundtrack because that's#what i have on my phone! and that was a mistake#i listened to wolf 359 pod a ton while studying for the math 31 final so having that association again obvioisly pulled up memories#and i fucking miss my friend so much#we were in math 31 together (it was literally our Only class together the whole time we were in high school) amd so we hung out while#studying! and i listened to wolf 359 while studying! and now starting it again and listening to wolf 359 music is like#friend where are you you are supposed to be here with me#between not seeing each other in school every day anymore and the pandemic and them moving to bc with their partner and#both of us being adhd we fell out of touch even though we were each other's best friend#the last time i saw them in person was christmas a year or too ago when we were able to sit and talk for a bit and exchange presents#we couldn't even hug because we were both concerned about covid. my family doesn't really do touch so thr last time i got to hug someone#was when i went to visit my friend thr february before the pandemic hit#and i mean we kept in touch for a little ehile but thrn we both fell off and were slow to respond to each other when we Did message#the last time we did more than one consecutive message to each other it was so... weird. they spoke like i was any regular person#not... me; in a way if that makes sense. like there was a sense of distence that'd never been there before#this christmas and their birthday i've wished them happy holidays and birthday and those they responded to but neither of us took#it farther; i messaged them today asking if they would be interested in us setting up a time to talk and catch up again and i haven't#heard back from them yet#i just miss them so fucking much#and i'm terrified i've lost them#i hope they're as healthy and happy as they can be wherever they are and whoever they're with#but i just want to talk normally with them and catch up and be friends like we were#i want that so fucking badly#a you're not going to see this because you're not on tumblr or at least you weren't before and you don't follow me#but i love you so much and i miss you and i hope you're well#i want things to be normal again. i want to be able to go visit you and not have to worry about covid. i want to have never fallen out#of touch with you. i want to tell you about all the new things in my life and hear you tell me the new things in yours#i want you to take the time in the middle.of your anniversary dinner to call me to ask about thr long term effects of cannibalism just like#you did before. i want to be able to spend time just existing in thr same room as you. i love you. i love you. i love you.
3 notes · View notes
sirpepperston · 1 year
Text
I GOT THAT ZAAAAA!!!!!
Tumblr media
2 notes · View notes
philcoulsonismyhero · 2 years
Text
I’m too tired for more coherent Thoughts tonight, but friendship Good, queer friendship Especially Good, friends who you’ve known for half your life and both of you turned out queerer than expected so then you get to have really lovely conversations about Being Queer (and also Autistic) with someone who’s featured in a good half of your funny stories since you were a pre-teen? Very Especially Good
8 notes · View notes
toastlover21 · 2 years
Text
THERE IS A 25% CHANCE MY CRUSH MISSES ME!!!
that is all
3 notes · View notes
tinyangelmatcha · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
Met up with some friends and we got açaí bowls! It was my first time trying one and it was so yummy! I have no idea how many cals tho and I’m tryna keep it down 😬
2 notes · View notes
seilon · 2 years
Text
pretty sure I’ve been hypomanic the last week or so and I’m not sure what to do about it
#weird to be hypomanic and extremely self isolating and avoidant of addresssing important things at the same time but here we are#i have no idea what fucking amalgamation of mental illnesses and whatever else is going on with me lately but it sure is alot#there is something very wrong with me and at this point i cant pinpoint it to any one thing it’s just. i think. a handful of things#that uhhh don’t work well together that’s for sure#i feel like I should maybe look up some stuff on comorbid bipolar II and autism cause that’s probably the best way to describe the totality#of whats going on with me#whatever it is it’s wrong there is something very very wrong with me#i need a therapist badly but guess what??? whatever’s fucking wrong with me has made me avoid looking at my email for like a week for no#god damn reason and I haven’t been able to make myself do anything important and applicable to myself in the Real World#again for literally no fuckign reason and it’s just making things progressively worse cause they stack up and ssome of those things can/will#piss off my mom who I also want to avoid but I can’t because if I don’t pick up the phone the second time she calls she will call my#roommate and threaten to call the police basically#so#that’s where I’m at#this is the first time I’ve ever ghosted literally everyone before though. that’s new. really funny how that works. self isolation is#probably driving me literally insane but for whatever reason my brain says Aha what if you distanced yourself even more? even from people#you don’t see in real life? what if you put all your effort and thoughts into one topic and obsess over it for god knows how long to the#extent of not wanting to do anything else basically but shit related to that special interest or whatever it is#it’s so funny that I’ve literally not hung out with friends at all in real life nor made any new friends irl this entire year#like literally. literally I do not have friends. that’s so wild cause I’ve been saying this for literally months and it never changes#anyway I’m probably gonnna go back to frantically writing notes on this one topic and neglecting all communication and responsibilities#so. yeah#kibumblabs#I need serious help. i wish I had people around me who cared enough to make me get it#i wish I didn’t have to do literally everything myself#my ‘bf’ (if you can call him that. i doubt it at this point for several reasons) hasn’t spoken to me nor I to him in I don’t even know how l#long now and my radio silence on discord and texts doesn’t seem to matter to him. i could be dead for all he knows lol#he doesn’t care he has other people now.#no one else I know irl reaches out and if they did I’d probably not answer for no reason. i guess because I love sabotaging myself#it’s great. I’m great.
3 notes · View notes