#and when it came to highschool. the worst thing about me was that i thought it was ok for me to say slurs it 100% wasnt ok for me to say

[snekdood]

whats really unfortunate is im p sure my sister was the catalyst for why people in my town like to just gossip and make shit up about me without asking. like it started with her talking to my middle school bully about me behind my back, probably telling her all kinds of bullshit bc my sisters a compulsive liar, then that bully followed me to highschool for a brief moment before leaving, spreading all the bullshit that started at my old school to my new one before dipping. and then people started making shit up about me at highschool. i was so excited to finally get a fresh start in highschool only for that bitter cunt to come along and sour shit for no fucking reason bc idk she has a weird hate boner for me, who can say (maybe it was some bullshit my sister said 🙃 i wonder!). and since my high school was way bigger and she had a wider range of people, word just spread through the grapevine of whatever dumb shitppl were coming up with mixed with actual events that happened that painted me in an embarrassing light or whatever. and im like. kinda sure that the only reason my ex decided to turn on me so hard, shaming me in every capacity down to just who i am inherently was bc alllll of those stupid rumors came to them after we broke up. like. yall just wont let me escape this NOR EVEN GIVE ME THE FUCKING CHANCE TO SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT IN ANY CAPACITY. why in the FUCK are you SO FUCKING INVESTED IN TRYING TO FUCK UP MY LIFE?? WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING DAMAGE??? LEAVE ME THE FRESH FUCK ALONE!!! IF YOU’RE STILL TALKING ABOUT ME AFTER HIGHSCHOOL WITH PEOPLE WE WENT TO HIGHSCHOOL WITH YOU LITERALLY HAVENT MATURED FOR SHIT AND I FEEL BAD FOR YOU ABOUT THAT. LIKE HOLY FUCK. yall are dense self absorbed pieces of shits who think you’re so above whoever you decide to throw under the bus but you’re literally the same staple mediocre mean girl from every other fucking school anyone has ever fucking seen. if you’re not even going to give me a list of my sins. if none of you assholes are even going to approach me to ASK ME DIRECTLY IF WHAT SOMETHING SOMEONE SAID WAS TRUE. INSTEAD OF HANGING OUT WITH ME TO SECRETLY GET INFO AND HOPEFULLY GET INFO ABOUT THAT OUT OF ME. IF YOU’RE NOT EVEN GOING TO WELCOME ME INTO THE GOSSIP CIRCLE SO I CAN TELL ALL OF YOU **AT THE VERY LEAST** MY PERSPECTIVE, OH, LETS FORGET BELIEVING VICTIMS WHEN IT COMES TO ME, REMEMBER, IM PROBABLY LYING ABOUT EVERYTHING MY FAMILY OR ANYONE WHOS ABUSED ME HAS EVER DONE RIGHT LOL 🤪 KILL YOURSELF. You literally dont deserve anything you could ever benefit from being my friend. i hope all of you selfish drama-vampires, who apparently cant survive without gossiping like its fucking air, rot

[nkogneatho]

"���𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔" - 𝐉𝐉𝐊 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐒 𝐒𝐂𝐍

—cw: gn!reader, tooth rotting fluff, smoking in geto's, suggestive

—wc: 1k+ #Tip me here

—a/n: Tell me what your favorite one. Scn=scenarios. not proofread.

#mlist #whoreclub #liawot smau #taglist

𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔

Satoru has a very strong obsession with sweet things. You were surprised how your boyfriend not had diabetes yet.

"Aren't you worried that your teeth might fall off?" you questioned him, as soon as you came out of the sweet shop with a white polythin bag in your hand. You went to buy him the mochi he likes so much, as a result of losing your bet.

"Don't worry. You know I am the strongest. So is my teeth, baby" You rolled your eyes at the comment. It was annoying enough that you lost the bet, and he was now just getting on your nerves acting like a hotshot. Your mind couldn't help but wonder how he would act if you mess with him. Taking a step forward to the sidewalk, you left your boyfriend behind. He followed you like a puppy as he always does. Toru noticed the noise of plastic wrapper. When he skipped two steps ahead to face you, what he saw was you chewing his desert.

"Hey!" he frowned cutely.

"Quite tasty," a subtle smile on your face, internally laughing at his reaction. Oh but you were stupid. You really thought he would let this go? Your boyfriend scanned you for a minute and then—

*kiss*

He caught your lips, tasting the faint relish of the chocolate syrup on your lips. He pulled back after a few seconds, leaving your body stunned on the sidewalk.

"You were right, baby. It is quite tasty." You were taken aback. You never new your first kiss with him would be like this.

"Toru wha—"

"In fact, I love it. I think I wanna taste more." You couldn't help but blush at the suggestion.

𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐔

Geto never shared his cigarettes with anyone. But with you, it was different.

"Ugh, this is the worst," you groan in frustration.

"Chill out. You can cover it up by the next month," suguru comforted you. He lit up the cig and took a whiff.

"But how can they just ignore all my presentations? I think they were pretty amazing. Don't you think they were amazing?" you looked at him in hopes he'll take your side. He did.

"Okay first of all, it was surreal, sweetheart. And second of all, forget about it because your lovely lovely boyfriend is here," you laugh to which he shoots you a confused look. "What? am I not lovely?" He probably didn't get that you were laughing because how cute he sounded. Not because he wasn't lovely. He was. He was the loveliest matter of fact. Suguru pouts and looks away, taking another drag.

"ah fuck it. Gimme that." You take the cig from his hand. You can feel the tip slightly wet. "We are indirectly kissing haha," you laugh, eyes closed to smoke it. When your hands fall down with cig, you could feel a body moving closer, and a set of lips locking with yours. The bitter-cold taste of mint tobacco flavor on your tongue. When you opened your eyes, Suguru had already taken the cigarette from your hand, which completely when unnoticed by you. Maybe you were too busy feeling his lips.

"Indirect kiss, my ass. I want to kiss you directly. Ya got that?" He is adorable, getting pressed over some unserious thing you said.

"Got it. My lovely boyfriend.

𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎 𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈

Toji was straight forward. He didn't like beating around the bush. But when it came to you, he suddenly became a highschool teenage girl from a rom com who's so nervous that she unknowingly comes off mean to her love interest.

You found it adorable. The little things he did subconsciously that you found so adorable. You remember once you told him how you found sausages cut in octopus shape cute. So now you caught him making the same cuts, while he cooks breakfast for you, in his apartment.

"Wow. A grown scary looking man making cute shaped breakfast. Aren't you too old for that?"

"Shut up, babe. Ya know they're f'you. D'ya want me to poison them?" He shot a glare to you.

"Meanie," you frowned. You took a step to the stove, watching the sunny side up egg turning into an eclipse in the pan. "Uhm, Chef Toji," you called. "Your eggs are burning." You watched him place the knife on the chopping board, hastily rushing over towards the stove, turning it off. Toji sighed. But he heard someone laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"Aw, aren't you a adorable little thing," you wiped away the tear from all the laugh. "It's hard to believe you're an assassin." You looked over at the counter with the octopus sausages, so perfectly cut. "Only good with blades, are you?"

The smile on your face slowly started fading as you found the big hunky man moving closer and close to you until there was no step for you to take back. Until your back hit the wooden cupboard. Toji ran his emerald iris on your lips. But before you could hide them away from him, biting it in, he captured them. Toji pushed his tongue past your lips, making your legs jelly.

"Not just blades, 'm also good with ma' lips." The attitude you had earlier, evaporated all of a sudden. Toji leaned to your side. "Wanna see what else 'm awesome at?" he whispered in your ears, totally making you lose your usual smug self.

—Reblog for part 2 🤍 :)

Tags: @eros-lives @milophiliac @denji-star @bbytamaki @thebrokenkitkat @his-saiko @loml-riri @aztecbrujeria @mwagii @kitashousewife @sugies @mrsackermannx @lilitudemon @wobblewobble822 @tohokuu

[oh-koenig-my-koenig]

returning home

(cw: age gap 26/41; nsfw, mdni, smut, a bit of angst and drama, fluffiness and a lot of tears)

the part before: it's the parts of König that she didn't see

a/n: i'm sorry, this got a bit out of hand :') over 9k words, buckle in, we're in for a ride

I have been a mess those past four months. This has been the worst breakup of my life. I mean, not that I had that many partners before. And the only one I still sometimes cry after is my highschool sweetheart.

But this… we weren’t even an official thing. König and I spent a lot of time together in those few weeks, yes. But we never even clarified if we were in a relationship or not. Dating. Being exclusive. And sure, I was basically living at his place after only a week of knowing each other. But that didn’t mean anything in retrospect. Apparently.

You can’t really call in sick for a broken heart and I wasn’t able to leave my bed for a few days. Sleeping a lot, listening to all the sad love songs, barely eating. Until my mom came by, basically kicking me off my mattress. Forcing me – in a loving way – to get a grip and not mope around like a heartbroken mess.

The worst part was when I found one of his hoodies in between my stuff, I must have accidentally packed it with my clothes when I got everthing together, and it still smelled like him. It doesn't anymore because I have been wearing it nonstop when I'm at home. Not outside though, because the piece of clothing looks ridiculous on me with how big it is compared to my size. I could fit myself in there three times and the hem falls over my knees. If I press my face into the fabric, I still pick up hints of his scent. At least that’s what I tell myself.

The marks on my body faded too. The hickeys he left on my skin becoming fainter by each day, until they were gone.

I looked at all the pictures we took together. Well, more like, I took them and König is also in them. And the selfies we sent each other. The only ones I didn't keep were the filthy ones, because it felt wrong, so I deleted them. But I didn't have the heart to do that to the pictures of us, the ones that carried the memories. And it stopped hurting as much over time. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Lying in bed. The one he bought and we built together, because he broke mine. It's unfair, really, because he is gone and I can't escape him still. Repeating his words to me in my mind.

You should be with someone your age.

It never had been a topic for me, not something I would've spent a second thought on, at least not like this. But apparently, it had been on his mind.

Someone who can promise you that they'll come back every time.

And in the back of my mind there is still the little voice that wishes that he would just have had the guts to be with me. Despite the possibility of him not coming back in one piece, leaving me to mourn him. Because like this, he isn't in my life either. And I still worry about him, because there is no way for me to know that he still is in this life.

He didn't even want to hear my side of things. Or maybe he wanted to, but I was just too blindsided by it all, frozen in place as he “broke up” with me.

Afterwards, when I thought about what he said, I wanted to scream. To shout at him. Even if I could never really do that. I wanted to grab him by the shoulders and shake him and ask him, what the fuck he was thinking. Why the fuck he was thinking that.

Fuck. I’m so sorry, Liebes.

His apologies didn’t help either. Because I wanted to be mad at him. I was mad at him, and I still am. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Because even though I get it - I get what he was telling me - I still don’t fully understand.

And I remember the look on his face as he was crouched before me. When it became painfully clear that I couldn’t read him.

I never meant for this to go this far or… this deep.

Well, I didn’t either. But it did. And he left, even though he felt the same way. Or at least so I thought.

After a few weeks I finally feel better. I’m okay with how it is. That’s what I tell myself.

Not at all ready to go out on dates again. Not that there is any rush. Not that there had been that many occasions, but still. The thought alone of being with somebody that's not him…

I get back to work, meet my friends, hang out with my family, and when they ask me how I’m doing, I can convincingly tell them I’m okay.

Almost every night the thing on my mind before I fall asleep is him. Nothing, but him, and how I wish he was lying right next to me. I still just want him to come back.

And I know I’m not making any sense. It’s just gonna take some more time to get over this.

When I wake up one morning and see the messages on my phone, I don't even realize what they mean at first.

I'm coming back tomorrow I don't deserve you, but if there's any chance that you'd want to see me again... I’m landing at the airfield in [REDACTED], at 1130 I'm sorry, and I understand if you've moved on or maybe we can talk sometime this week if you're busy whatever works for you or maybe you don’t want to talk to me at all which is fine as well, of course just let me know in Liebe, König

I blink, reading the messages over and over again. The little incoherent ramble until it finally clicks. He's coming back.

I groan, putting the phone away, hiding my face in my hands. Contemplating what I should do as the possibility of seeing him again churns in my stomach. And all the emotions come flooding back, tears pricking in the corner of my eye. God damn it.

Men and women are disembarking from the aircraft and I crane my neck, looking for him.

I’ve been waiting here for some time cause they were running late. And I’m not the only one, there are quite a bunch of people waiting. Probably families and partners? They all seemed relaxed, at least more relaxed than me.

I’m hopping from one leg to the other, my hands feel a little clammy as I knead them. And honestly, I’m a little nauseous.

More people in gear than I would have thought come off the plane, meeting up with their relatives, mingling with each other or just leaving.

I already fear that I completely misunderstood his messages, but that couldn’t have been possible, right? Maybe I shouldn't have come here, and just told him I’ll see him some time this week, maybe I shou-

Two more figures emerge from the cargo hold, coming down the ramp. I don’t recognize the man on the right, but the one on the left…

Beige cargo-pants, protectors on the knees and shins. A simple longsleeved shirt, black of course, and a bulletproof vest. Gloves and more protectors on his arms. The band of bright red beads around his wrist.

The mask, the hood fashioned out of simple fabric, red streaks down underneath the eyeholes, held in place by the helmet atop his head. Hiding his face away.

Fuck.

I only saw a picture of him in gear once, when he showed me, but I still would have recognized him instantly. His tall build, the attitude with which he carries himself, gives him away. This get-up can’t hide it.

He stills. Frozen in place, and from the distance I can’t make out anything.

I just stand there, unsure if he already saw me. And I lift my hand, just a little wave, before I drop it again.

Shit, maybe I should have told him that I was coming.

But then he starts running towards me. A slight jog at first, his strides getting longer with every step. I can’t just stand here either, my legs almost moving on their own.

Dropping the bag that hung over his shoulder. His gloved hands are fumbling with his helmet, until he gets it off, just throwing it away, and pulling of the mask too, and when I see his face for the first time in month, I feel tears prick in the corner of my eyes. Running a little faster, only a few meters between us now. The skin around his eyes is smeared with eyeblack, his long hair is clinging to his head, as he also gets rid of the balaclava, just pushing it down, so it sits around his neck, and then…

He stops, just a step before me, not to run me over, but I don’t, jumping up, jumping into his arms, the full impact of my body against his not moving the big guy a little bit. I’m clinging onto his shoulders as he catches me in his embrace. I’m burying my face in his neck, and when his scent hits my nostrils, a little sharper than usual, gunpowder and sweat mixing with his warm soothing scent, the tears flow free, staining his balaclava, wetting his cheeks. Sobs are shaking me as he presses me against him, my legs hugging around his waist.

“I missed you so fucking much.”, he says, his deep voice shaky, and I can’t even answer because it just makes me cry more. “Ssssh, Liebes. Don’t cry.”, he tries to comfort me, but hearing his favourite term of endearment only lets the tears flow freely. “I didn’t wanna make you cry.”

“To-oo late for - that.”, I press out between two sobs.

“I’m so sorry, fuck.”, he sighs, his arms closing even tighter around me. “I don't know how I will ever make it up to you.” His gloved hand is softly caressing down my back.

“I missed you too.”, I finally manage to say, my voice thick with tears, pressing myself against him, and I never wanna let go.

But I need to pull back, only a little, just to look at him again. Touch him. Convince myself that this is real.

My vision is blurred, but that’s still him, his face so close to mine. His gaze intently on me, while one of my hands grabs him, my fingers caressing over his jaw, the stubble a little longer than I’m used to, the smudged black colour around the eye area making him look a little different. He leans into my palm, the eyebrows pulling up and the tension melting away.

His hand cups mine, his thumb softly caressing over it, such soft touches and another small sob is shaking me.

“I don’t want to overstep anything.”, he whispers. “But I would really like to kiss you.”

And I nod, not able to speak the words yet. And before he can lean in, I already press my lips to his. When my mouth meets his, and I taste the saltiness of my tears intermingling with his scent, the wave of relief that floods me is indescribable.

It's as soft as I remember, something that always surprised me. How soft his kisses are.

The way his lips press against mine, like he's searching for something, tasting me. Nipping at my lower lip, his nose rubbing against mine. His stubble scratching over my skin as he tilts his head.

He presses kisses to the corner of my mouth, my cheeks, my nose. All over my face, slowly drying up my tears, and I take a deep breath, calming myself down. He really is back.

When I finally take a look around, I realise that we’re off to the side a bit, but not that far away from the others on the tarmac, so… this must be quite the spectacle for his colleagues and the people who waited for them. Some of them are in tight hugs or talking with the civilians, but some are also looking in our direction, every once in a while. I don't have any time to feel self-conscious though, about being a teary mess.

And the guy who disembarked the aircraft with König comes our way, a little hesitantly, but smiling at us both.

“Köni.”, he says in a deep, but friendly voice, omitting the g in his name.

“Horangi.”, König says, setting me down, but keeping me close by his side, and I wouldn’t have moved an inch away.

The man in front of us is dressed in green and beige camo, quite different from what the big guy is wearing except for the pants. A similarly coloured balaclava around his neck and sporty sunglasses on his head, sitting on top of it in his hair, complete the look.

“I heard so much about you.”, he says lightly, addressing me.

“You did?” My eyebrows shoot up, almost colliding with my hairline.

He nods, grinning, not fazed at all by the threatening stare from König. “Yes. Every time he drank just a little too much, he wouldn't shut up about you.”, Horangi says. “You did a number on the guy.”

I don't know what to say to that at first, honestly a little gobsmacked. “I did?”

“Yeah, yeah, now fuck off.”, König says to Horangi, patting the other man’s back, the frown on his face turning into a grumpy smile.

“See ya, Colonel.”, he says with a grin. “Enjoy your leave.”, adding a little joking salute, before stomping off.

I wave after him, confused for a moment. Colonel?

“Don't mind him.”, König grumbles as I turn to him again, but he doesn't look mad in the slightest bit. “He doesn't know how to behave sometimes.”

My arms closing around his waist, and he repositions me a bit, so the straps on his bullet proof vest don’t press into my cheek.

“So, you really did miss me.”, I say pulling him tighter. Not a question, a statement.

“I did.”, he answers almost solemn as he brushes a stray strand of hair out of my face.

Some of the soldiers are still standing around, talking to each other and the people around them, but I can’t make out what they’re saying.

“They’re still looking.”, I whisper to him, unsure what that means.

“Yeah, cause they’re all seeing my face.”, he whispers back, smiling down at me.

Right, the hood!

“Oh shit, I forgot about the mask thing.”, I say, my hand clasping over my mouth. “I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s fine.”, he says softly. “They'll survive seeing my face. And I will too.”

“Right, still.”

“Don’t worry about it. I asked you to come here.” He pauses for a moment. “More on a whim, cause I didn’t really think you actually would.”

I take a deep breath. “To be honest, until this morning I didn’t know either.” My eyes pan up to meet his. When I woke up, I knew that I wanted to see him. But only when I got into my car, I called into work to take a personal day off and instead drove here.

“I’m glad you did.”, he says, holding my gaze.

“Me too.”, I whisper back.

���Cause Horangi was right. I was miserable.”

Just like I was. “Really?”, I ask him again, almost soundlessly.

“I was fucking miserable without you.”, he repeats, picking me up again and pressing another kiss to my lips.

I think I don't wanna leave his embrace ever again. But we still have stuff to talk about. Stuff to sort out. And we really can't do that here.

Plus his kisses have their usual effect. As the emotional turmoil and tears dissipate, a familiar feeling spreads through my body, my lower belly tensing up.

“You’re here in your car?”, he asks quietly in between two more kisses. Getting more desperate.

“Yeah.”, I say. “I parked it around the corner.”

“Okay, you wanna get out of here then?”

I just nod, kissing him again, and his little hum against my lips lets tingles erupt all over me. Then we're out of here.

Not before picking up his helmet and hood that he shed on the way, me still in his arms, getting his duffle bag, and I can’t help the little giggle escaping me, because he refuses to set me down when he bends down. Carrying me like I weigh nothing, also not willing to leave my side even for a moment.

On the way to the car, it gets even a little more heated and I’m glad when we turn the corner, hiding away from other eyes.

He’s taking huge strides, heading right for my car, that he spotted in an instant, the small silver one.

My fingers are tangled in his hair, his hands grabbing my ass and thighs, and I pull the car key out my pocket and unlock it. He opens the car door, lying me down on the cushioned seat and I scoot back to make room for him.

Reminders flood my brain how we did it in the back of his car, much bigger than the Toyota I drive. It’s way too small for him, but that doesn’t stop us.

I push off my shoes and get my pants off quickly as he climbs in over me, his shoulders pressing up against the roof of the car, while he sheds his protectors and gloves and shuts the door behind him.

A moment later, I’m folded in half, my knees against my chest, the feet up in the air brushing against the frame of the car. His hands gripping my thighs, spreading me for him.

König is eating me out like a starved man, soft mewls and grunts dropping from his lips, the vibrations of them against my sensitive skin.

“Oh fuck.”, I groan.

His hair is falling over his face, but I just want to see him, brushing the strands back. His gaze burning into me as he looks up at me, the eyeblack giving him a rugged look.

Desperately licking me, my juices glistening all over the lower part of his face. The stubble that is longer than usual is scratching against the insides of my thighs, but I don’t care about that right now, in the contrary, the soft scratch right there makes me even hotter.

It’s him. in this get-up, a little different than I was used to, but it’s him.

When he slips his fingers into me, his lips closing around my clit, sucking on the sensitive bud, something that always made me lose my mind fast, and this is no exception.

The way he fills me up, his thick digits stretching me. His tongue working my pussy, knowing exactly what makes me cry out. His mouth wandering, littering my inner thigh with kisses and hickeys.

The bites and nibbles send shivers down my body, my hips rutting forward, pushing my pussy into him. His arm comes over tummy, holding me in place, so I can't escape his touches.

“Yes, please, just-”, I sigh, and I can feels how he curls his fingers inside me, hitting just the right spot.

I come around them, my cries a bit too loud in my own ears in the small space, and I almost bump my head into the car door behind me as he doesn’t let up, but dives in again. His tongue is toying with my clit, dragging over it, slow, broad licks, and my body shakes and convulses.

“König…”, I plead, my hand tangled in his hair.

He finally pulls back a bit, still lapping everything up, even putting his own fingers in his mouth. His lips closing around them, his lids fluttering for just a moment.

“You taste so fucking good, Kleine.”, he whispers, not breaking eye contact as he meticulously licks my arousal off them, and I can’t help the blush on my face, especially when his tongues darts through between them. Fuck.

Instead of an answer, I pull him into me, to kiss him again, tasting myself on his lips, my hands dropping to his belt, fumbling with the clasp. I want more. I want him.

“Wait.”, he says, his hand coming over mine, I can feel the lingering wetness on them, and I still for a moment. “Shouldn’t we like…”

“You…. don’t want to?”

"No, of course I do, Liebes… I just want to do it right, you know? Make it right. In a proper bed."

I pull one of my eyebrows up. He thinks about that now after eating me out. "We can still do that later, no worries."

"But- I-"

"Yeah, that's all really noble, but right now I just need you." I kiss him again. "So shut up and fuck me. Please.", I say, still fumbling with his belt.

“I don’t have any condoms with me.”, he says, still not helping me to get his gear off.

I pull up an eyebrow. “And?” We did it raw many times, why would it be…

"Did you not... You didn't...?", he stammers, his eyes searching mine.

And then it dawns on me. "If you're gonna ask, if I slept with somebody else in the meantime, I suggest you don't. Because I fucking didn't." Adding after a moment’s pause: “Did you?”

"Fuck, no.”, he answers without hesitation, but his whole body is still shaken with agitation. “Fuck, I'm sorry, I just-" His hand strokes through his hair, exasperated, straightening up a bit and almost hitting his head on the roof of the car.

"König."

He stills, his eyes on me again and I can see the turmoil in them.

"I didn't want anybody else, I just wanted you back.", I say, my voice a little shaky. "And now that I've got you back, I just need to feel you. We can talk and do all the other stuff after getting home, okay?"

Home. The word slipped over my lips before I could think about it. It's out there before I can take it back.

He doesn't move a bit, just looks at me incredulously, and my hand shoots out to grab him which pulls him from his thoughts.

“I do not fucking deserve you.”, he whispers, and then it all happens very quickly. Pulling the zipper down and getting his dick out, the tip slipping between my folds.

He doesn't wait a moment longer and we both groan in unison when he slides into me, and the familiar feeling floods me, the stretch deliciously making me squirm.

Yet my eyes don't leave his for even a moment, not daring to close them, in case this is still a dream and he did not really come back.

But when he grasps my chin, tilting it up and leaning down to press his lips to mine, the tears that have been welling up again roll down my cheeks, the wetness blurring my vision.

I wipe them away, aggressively, a little mad at myself that I just can't stop crying. “Fuck, just… I-” I sigh. “Those fucking tears.”

He’s not saying anything, his thumb brushing over my cheek, a soothing gesture. His lips are peppering kisses all over my face as he starts to fuck me, slowly and sweetly.

I look down to where we are connected, seeing him push into me, seeing and feeling his dick slip into me. As deep as he can go.

With the position I’m in, folded in half, my belly is bulging with every thrust, just a bit, but still. And when he bottoms me out, time after time after time, I inadvertently squeeze around him.

“Fuck, you feel so good.”, he groans.

He’s not fucking me fast, more hard and deep. The sound of skin against skin when his lap collides with the plush of my thighs, loud and quite heavy. And I’m underneath him, framed by his strong arms, holding onto them.

Every single one of his thrusts lets a moan slip out of me, especially with how his pubic bone is pressing up against my sensitive clit, over and over again.

My breath hits his face, the look on it still a little incredulous, the almost enamored smile.

His breath is getting heavier too, rattling grunts shaking his chest. I wanna feel them, I wanna feel his rapid heartbeat against my fingertips. My hand slips under his vest, the other one holding onto it. The soft fabric of his compression shirt is warm, feeling his heartbeat strum against the palm of my hand, as I look up at him. Back in one piece. Alive.

The telltale signs how close he is are written on his face. The breath that halts in his throat every so often. The way his jaw drops. His brows draw together, not his usual frown, the ever-present scowl. Ecstasy visible on his features. And his eyes pressing together, for just a moment.

Looking down at me again, he’s still fucking me, my knees pressed up against my chest, his propped-up arms carrying most, but not all of his weight. My fingers are grabbing his bulletproof vest, needing him closer. The buttons of his waistband and the belt pressing into my ass with every thrust.

But all those sensations get overtaken when my second orgasm washes over me abruptly, just holding onto him, and I can’t keep my eyes open anymore, when he doesn’t stop. The pushes of his hips, how he rolls them into me, getting a little more desperate, almost losing the rhythm, as I clench around him.

He’s buried deep inside me, filling me up when he comes, and groans drop from his lips. His face contorting in pleasure. I missed his stupid face, and apparently I also missed his O-face.

He takes a big breath, backing off a bit, giving me a moment to reposition my legs. When his dick slips out of me, I sigh, feeling a bit empty and the wetness against my stomach as it rests over it.

His big heavy body slumps over me, and we just stay like that for a while. Cheek to cheek. My arms around his neck, his hands softly caressing down my body.

Maybe I could even stay like this forever.

Again I remember the time we did it on the backseat of his car, that was much more spacious. Half an eternity ago. Only the second time we ever did it.

Softly kissing now and then. The little sounds and our breath the only thing in the calm silence around us, until he breaks it.

“Can I take you home?”

“Yes.”, I answer without hesitation. We still have some stuff to sort out, and we should get going.

He’s zipping himself up, I put on my pants again, his cum seeping into my panties now, but I don’t even care and get into the driver’s seat, the doors close behind us.

And for once he is in the passenger’s seat, my car still way too small for the big man. It’s almost ridiculous how his stature fills the car. He almost has to duck his head like this, even without the helmet, dwarfing the whole space.

I chuckle a little, put on some music and start driving.

“So Colonel, huh?”, I ask him, pulling an eyebrow up.

“Yeah.”, he says, scratching the back of his head. “I don’t know why I never told you.”

“It’s okay.”, I say. “I guess, that doesn’t really matter in the civilian life.”

“It doesn’t.”, he agrees. “But it also feels like I wasn’t fully honest with you. Which is shitty.”

I clasp my hand over his for a moment, squeezing his fingers. A little reassurance. I don't care about his rank cause it doesn't change anything anyway, and I also never bothered to ask.

“So, I wouldn't get in trouble for insubordination if I called you Sir and not Colonel?”, I ask him, teasingly.

His brows furrow, that certain look in his eyes like always when I was being bratty - and I missed that too.

“You won't.”, he grumbles.

I can't help the little laugh. “Good to know.”

I look to the side, and there he is. It’s him, even in this get-up, it’s him. In my car.

And he’s grinning back at me, not as bright as I was used to, but still. I shake my head as I look back onto the street. He really is back.

I pull into the driveway, the sight of his house alone pulling at my heartstrings. The heavy feeling hits me, the lightheartedness I felt before taking a little hit, even before turning the motor off, getting out the car and heading inside.

He unlocks the door and goes inside, putting down the duffle bag, as I follow him. I stand around a little unsure, taking my shoes off, before heading to the living room.

When I see the couch, I have to swallow my emotions down, not ready to cry again. The memories come rushing back and I just need a moment to take it all in.

Heavy steps behind me, warmth emanating from his body. His presence so tangible, even when he’s not touching me. I’m still so tuned into him.

And I turn.

God damn, I almost forgot how big he is. He fills the doorframe that has been fit to his height. His shoulders seeming even broader in his gear. His head almost grazing the top of the frame.

And I have to tilt my head back to look up at him. We just stand here for a moment.

“I need to shower.. you, uh-”, he starts.

“I’m just gonna wait here, okay?”

He nods. “Yes, of course.” He hands me his phone. “You wanna order something to eat in the meantime? For us.”

“I can do that.”

“Pick whatever you like.”, he tells me before rushing up the stairs with huge strides, taking his bag with him.

I sigh and take a seat at the dinner table we barely ever used. Not daring to sit on the couch like I usually would have.

Unlocking his phone, only clicking on the delivery app, of course. Searching for his favourite take-out place, the grill with the nice little garden out back.

Does he deserve it? I don't know, maybe not. But I'm not gonna be petty over food. I’m adding another dessert for myself, though.

After I placed the order, I put his phone away, picking up mine instead. Scrolling on the usual apps, waiting because I don't know what else to do. He’s taking longer than I’m used to for the shower. And I can feel myself getting a bit restless. My mind coming back to the things he said. When he broke up with me and then today when he came back.

Heavy steps are coming down the stairs, him emerging in a get up I’m more used to, a simple black shirt and shorts.

His hair is still a bit wet, clinging to him in strands. He’s freshly shaved too, the stubble he had before gone. And I can smell the clean and sharp tone of his after-shave when he walks up to me.

“Food will be here soon.”, I tell him, because I don’t know what else to say.

“Okay, thank you.”

“Your favorite.”

“You didn't need to do that.”

“I know.” I hand him back his phone. “And I didn't snoop through it or anything.”

He nods, acknowledging my comment. “I trust you.” He steps a bit closer, taking it. “But you wouldn't have found anything noteworthy either. My phone is embarrassingly empty.” He looks up from the device, to me, a lopsided wry smile adorning his face. “Mostly work emails and photos of you I couldn't bring myself to delete.”

“Yeah?”

He nods.

“What’s the other stuff?”

“Photos of Mimi.” His smile is turning into a grin.

“That little minx. I should have known.”, I say exasperated, but jokingly.

He’s still standing there, swaying from one foot to the other ever so slightly, and almost wanna tell him to just sit down.

“I thought about calling you. I just didn't know what to say.”, he says, his voice quiet. “I wasn't even sure you'd pick up.”

“I don't know if I could have handled talking to you over the phone.”, I say carefully, but honestly. I probably wouldn’t have picked up.

He just nods. “I understand.”

“I actually didn’t know what to think when you texted me.”, I continue. “It was a lot. After a few months of no bleep, no nothing.”

“I wanted to text you. I just chickened out every time.”, he says. “But Horangi kicked some sense into me.”

“Does he do that often?”, I ask, biting back a grin, when remembering the conversation with him earlier. How he basically snitched on him, painting the a bit pathetic picture of drunk König who missed me so much that he wouldn't shut up about me. After he broke up with me of his own volition.

He tilts his head to the side, grudgingly admitting: “Sometimes.”

“And we all need friends like that sometimes.”, I say.

He laughs a little and confesses. “Yeah, he actually helped me phrase the messages because I just didn’t know how I-” He breaks off. “I meant everything I said though.” His eyes find mine again. “I would've understood if you didn't have time or if you just didn't wanna see me. But I still had to try. And I meant it earlier, when I said that I’m glad you came.”

The look on his face, almost pleading. And I feel the same way, but being here with him still feels a little… overwhelming.

“I-”

The doorbell ringing disrupts our conversation. He turns and hurries to the door. I can hear him talk to the delivery person as I get up and hurry to the kitchen to get plates and cutlery.

We’re both coming back a few moments later, setting everything down on the dinner table, taking a seat next to each other. Opening up the containers of food, laying everything out. Loading our plates up, my stomach grumbling. I hadn’t eaten all day, too anxious and nervous. I dig in, taking spoonsfuls of the veggies with rice, and I feel how his eyes are on me, how he’s watching me.

I meet his eyes when he breaks the silence again.

“I missed your birthday, didn't I?”, he asks, but judging from the look on his face he already knows the answer.

“Yeah, a few weeks ago.”, I say, nodding.

“Now there's ‘only’ 15 years between us.”, he says, matter-of-factly.

“There are.”, I agree. “But it doesn’t matter. 15, 16, what’s the difference.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

I put my fork down for a moment and just tell him outright what I have been thinking: “When I teased you, it was never about that. Our age difference never was an issue for me, you know. But I will never call you an old man again, if there is a chance that you will throw it in my face like that.” I pause. “Again.”

“I’m not gonna do that - again.”, he reassures me.

“Good.” I take a deep breath. “If I had known that this was plaguing you, I could have put your mind at ease. Or at least tried.”

“It’s not on you.”, he says with a sigh, his hand dragging over his face for just a moment, rubbing over his eyes. I can feel the frustration emanating off him. “I just- I tried to hide it.” Like he also tried to hide it when he had shit days. I wanna grab him by the shoulders and shake him.

“I figured. Because the whole… conversation came out of nowhere for me.”

“Yeah, I felt like such an asshole afterwards. I went about it the most blunt way. The whole thing anyway… it was a mistake.”, he continues, point-blank. “And I’m sorry for that.”

If we had this talk only weeks after he left, I would have been so mad still. The distance helped. It's also helping right now. Acknowledging that it had been a mistake, it doesn't make the "break up"-thing go away. But I feel like I still needed to hear that.

“It’s okay.”, I whisper.

He shakes his head. “It’s not.”, he says. “It wasn’t okay.”

“I know.” I reach for him, our fingers intertwining, my thumb softly caressing over the back of his hand. Our eyes meet and I can see his emotions in them, clearer than ever before. Not trying to hide them anymore. And I understand. A little smile stalks onto my face.

“Let’s just eat, okay?”

And I never have to tell him that twice.

After we finished up, he carries the plates and leftovers to the kitchen, refusing my help, and I finally take a seat on the big couch, slumping into the cushions.

König emerges in the doorframe, just standing there. Frozen in place. I put my phone down and for a moment we just look at each other. The same familiarity hits me, but the guilty look on his face tells me why he’s not moving an inch closer.

It's a bit ridiculous. We fucked, we ate together, we talked about some of the shit that went down. He apologized - again.

I softly pat the cushion beside me. “Come here.”

He’s taking a few steps, hesitatingly approaching and sitting down. But he stops there. I look up at him from the side, and I have never seen him so unsure. It's almost a little sweet.

Grabbing him, I pull him down to me and he just lets me. Positioning his head in my lap, cradling his face, and he lies down the feet dangling over the side of the couch. When my hand caresses over his chest, he sighs. Relaxing into the cushions. I can almost hear the weight drop from his shoulders as he melts into my touch. His hand clinging onto my arm. His brows turning up as he looks up at me.

For a moment we just sit in silence and I let the calmness flood me that his proximity brings. Playing with the long strands of his hair. Softly straightening out the waves that always form when they are freshly washed. Looking down at him.

“I don’t fucking deserve you.”, he whispers.

And there it is again. That sentence. It bothered me when I read it in the messages he sent. And then when he uttered them today.

I grab his face and make him look at me. Squishing his cheeks. “Don’t say that.”, I tell him, my voice trembling. “Don’t fucking say that.”

He stills, his eyes flitting between mine, his mouth dropping open a little.

“I didn’t- I…” I’ve almost never seen him speechless, but today every time I’ve said something that he seemingly didn’t expect he just looked at me like that.

“You think it's flattering or whatever. It’s not.”, I say, exasperated. “It’s like I’m on a fucking pedastal. It doesn’t make me fucking feel good, okay?”

“I’m sorry.”

I shake my head. I don’t need anymore “sorry”s from him. “You already thought that before you broke up with me, didn’t you?”

He hesitates for a moment before nodding. Silence between us as I only look at him, reading what’s in his eyes.

“Beating yourself up over this isn’t gonna make either of us feel better. I don’t want you to grovel like a beaten dog. I just want you to be honest with me what’s going on in this thick head of yours.” Tapping on said thick head.

“Yeah, you fucking hurt me by just dropping me off in my flat and fucking off because you thought it was the right thing for both of us. I don’t need you to think for me. I just need you to talk to me.” Damn, I’m laying into him right now, but I fear otherwise I’m not gonna get through the thickheaded stubborness.

“I didn’t mean to go over your head like I did. I was too in my own head already, so it was the only thing that made sense to me.”, he says as calmly as he manages. “I thought it was the right thing for you.”

“Because you didn’t deserve me anyways and I would be better off with someone else, right?”, I summarize. I can’t help but sound a little bitter. And I realise now that that was the thing that hurt me the most.

He nods again.

I feel the jab in my heart. Not knowing what to say to that. It's not nice to have the person you're with express the sentiment that you should be with someone else. Well, it’s pretty fucking far from nice.

He casts his eyes down, fidgeting with his wristband, not daring to look at me. And I can practically feel his self-deprecation prickling at my fingertips, the hand still lying on his chest, clearer than ever before.

“I thought I would be selfish to have you wait for me. And I realised that the opposite is true. I was a coward, I just fucking ran away.”, he sighs, and I can hear the shame in his voice.

His hand clasps over mine, squeezing my fingers.

“You did.”, I simply say.

“And it didn’t fucking solve anything.” He laughs, a barking joyless laugh. “For the first time in a long time it was worse without someone else, you know.” He pauses for a moment, finally looking up at me again. You don't need to be Sherlock to know who he's talking about.

I nod, swallowing back my emotions again, squeezing his hand back. “And it didn’t have to be like this.”

“Fuck. I know, I just- wanna kick myself every time I think about it.” An exhausted and frustrated sigh rising up from deep in his chest. “I don't know what I can say to make it all okay again. I don't know what to tell you to-”

“Just show me.”, I interrupt him before he can go down that spiral. He stills

“I’m gonna make it up to you, I swear.” His hand grabs mine a bit tighter. Pulling it up to his face and pressing a kiss to my knuckles.

I nod, a little smile stalking onto my face. “Okay, good.”, I say, adding a “And don't ever say you're undeserving again.”

“I won't.”

“Thank you.” I lean down and press a soft kiss to his lips, and he answers it like it holds the promise he just made.

When I pull back, I don’t get far cause he is cradling my cheek, not letting me go anywhere.

“Did anybody ever tell you that it’s hot when you get all bossy like that?”, he whispers, a small grin forming on his face.

“Yeah?”, I say, tongue in cheek. “You like getting ripped to shreds?”

“Only by you, Hexe.” which makes me laugh. “But I deserved it too.”, he says.

“You did a little bit.”, I say graciously, and we both laugh.

We just stay like this for a while, holding hands, and I can take a deep breath feeling most of the weight drop away from me that I felt walking into the living room.

He turns to the side, his cheek pressing against my belly as his arms close around me, around my waist. As close as he can get.

I’m brushing his hair out of his face, playing with it. Massaging his neck and shoulders, softly caressing.

He almost falls asleep like that, and I don't think I’ve ever seen him so peaceful. Deep calm breaths. Not a wrinkle on his forehead as I brush over it with my thumb. His eyebrows are turned up. Not even a hint of a frown on his face.

He grabs my hand, pressing sweet kisses to my fingers. “Stay with me.”, he whispers. “Please.”

“You sure?”, I ask.

He nods, not letting go of me. “I just want my bed and you in it, like I dreamed about those last few weeks. So… please?”

And it finally sinks in that the break was just as painful for him as it had been for me. Because I dreamed of the same thing. “Okay.”

He doesn't need anything else, just gets up off the couch, picking me up as well.

I can't help the giggle rising up my throat when my legs close around his hips and my lips find his neck, kissing the sensitive spots, the ones that always make him shiver. My fingertips are digging into his shoulders. The soft lingering touches I know will get him riled up.

He hums. “Glad to see that your ass is still as bratty as before.”, he grumbles, but he can't hide the grin as he playfully places the tiniest spank on said butt.

“Never.”, I tell him before he kicks open the bed room and lies me down on the bed.

We both scramble to get rid of our clothes, pulling them off quickly. He crawls over me, his dick nudging against my pussy while he settles between my thighs and his lips land on mine. His long hair falls over me like a veil, the tips tickling my naked skin.

His hand drops down, his fingers rubbing over my clit as he pushes into me. Carefully enough. And I sigh taking him in.

His mouth is coasting over my neck, making me shiver as he kisses, nibbles and bites. Leaving marks where anyone can see. Licking the sensitive skin, his tongue drawing wet tracks over it. His heavy breath hitting the shell of my ear as he pulls my head back and sucks on the sensitive spot right beneath it.

My fingers are digging into his shoulders and back, his muscles, leaving my own marks with my nails. Dropping down further until I grab his asscheeks, pulling him into me.

He chuckles, pushing deeper, his thrusts picking up pace. I arch my back to meet his movements, my chest against his, the sensations making me throw my head back.

His hand catches my chin, and he’s telling me: “Look at me, Liebes, please just look at me.”

My eyes meet his, a satisfied deep hum rising up his throat. And I never felt more at the center of anybody's attention than in that moment.

He turns, and suddenly I’m on top, riding him, my hands placed on his hairy chest. Slowly sliding up and down his length. One of his arms around my waist, the other on my ass guides me. I almost can't handle it, the way he fills me up in this position, his tip nudging against my cervix. But fuck. I have missed this.

Not just the sex. The closeness. The familiarity. Him.

König looks up at me, the same look on his face that I have seen a few times today, the one that I still can’t quite place what it means. But I love when he looks at me like that. If the warm fuzzy feeling in my chest is any indication.

We spend the rest of the day in bed, talking, fucking, listening to music, sometimes almost dozing off. Until it’s late, almost a bit too late.

My head is resting against his chest, his heartbeat strong and steady, his legs entangled with mine. His burly tattooed arms embracing me, pulling me against him. His cheek resting atop my forehead with the way I’m nuzzled into the crook of his neck, so his hair is tickling me when he moves a bit.

His body all around me, with nowhere else to go.

I didn’t like sleeping like this ever before I got to know him. But I really don’t mind anymore. I really don’t.

When I open my eyes the next morning, I need a moment to catch up where I am. König’s bedroom. In his bed, the soft sheets against my naked skin. I stretch a little and turn to the side, expecting to find him still fast asleep. But I’m greeted with a smile on his face, his eyes on me. Wide awake already.

“Good morning, Liebes.”, he says softly, catching my hand and pressing a kiss to the back of it, and I have to swallow to not instantly burst into tears.

“Hi.”, I answer, trying a little wobbly smile.

His hand shoots out and he caresses over my cheek. A simple gesture, one he did so many times before, but right now it has me crying again.

“Oh Liebes.”, he coos as he sees the tear rolling down my face.

“I swear, I don't wanna cry! I must be getting my period or something.”, I grumble while he presses kisses to my cheeks, softly kissing away the tears.

“I’m gonna make you laugh and come twice as much for every time you cried.”, he says, and the twinkle in his eyes tells me that he is joking, yet at the same time seeming earnest.

I break out in laughter. “That would be a lot of jokes and a lot of orgasms.”, I gasp out, wiping the wetness from my cheeks.

He leans down and gives me a kiss. “That’s okay. Cause I’m not going anywhere.” He pulls back a bit.

“Don't make any promises you can't keep.”, I say.

“I wouldn’t.”, he says, his voice serious and his gaze soft. “I promise.”

I nod. “Okay.”

“Now let me start with it. I already got a laugh out of you.”

“You insatiable man. Let me go get my teeth brushed first or-”

“No time!”, he exclaims, pulling away the blanket, to position himself between my legs.

I burst into laughter again, the sounds turning into moans when he pulls away my panties and puts his mouth on me.

“Another laugh… that means I need to keep up with the orgasms.”, he quips, mischief lighting up his eyes as his tongue dips into me.

I sigh, snuggling myself back into the comfy sheets, grinding my hips against his face. Meticulously he eats me out, getting all sloppy with it.

His hands are grabbing the swells of my ass, my legs over his shoulders, until he is buried between my thighs. They are littered with all the marks he left there. Faint bites and hickeys. And he’s leaving even more. Oh god, I missed them.

He spits once before his fingers push into me, soft squelching when he fills me up. I’m still a little sleepy, yawning once while I stretch. Meeting his movements and touches.

“Feels so good.”, I tell him, and a little smile forming on his lips as I look down at him.

“Yeah?”, he quips, his thumb rubbing over my clit while he fingerfucks me, slow and deliberately.

I barely can hold the eye contact, almost a little shy, although we did this what feels like a million times. “Yeah.”

He slips his fingers out of me, taking over with his mouth again. I feel the wetness on his fingers as he grabs my thigh again, his fingertips pressing into the plush.

In the time apart nothing had changed about this. It still feels like he has memorized every little part of me, which buttons to push to make me cry out.

His own moans and grunts give away just how much he enjoys this, and I don’t think I will ever get enough of him. Seeing how his hips restlessly move, almost fucking into the mattress, while his tongue dips into me, fucking into me, over and over again, it does something to me as well.

When he nips at my clit, I jolt, my hips lifting off the mattress, but he doesn’t let me go anywhere. Repeating the same move and I come on his face. My back arching, my fingers grabbing at the sheets, curses dropping from my lips.

With a deep breath I look at him again, the big man still very comfortable between my legs, his chin and lips glistening with moisture before he wipes it away.

“And that’s the first one.”, he says with a little grin, and I can’t help the little laugh.

I sit up and grab him. “Yeah, but it’s your turn now.”, I tell him as I pull him up to me, needing him closer.

A wry smile adorns his face. “I’m sorry, Liebes, I already...”

“You… what?”, I ask a little dumbfounded. Looking down while he sits back on his knees, his tummy all sticky, coated in his come. The sheets beneath him soiled, like he humped himself to completion spilling all over them, while eating me out. My jaw drops. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

This man. The lop-sided smirk, making him look younger than he is. The long hair all messy. Not ashamed in the slightest that he came like that, just eating me out.

“Just give me a few minutes, okay?” He grins down at me as he crawls over me. “And maybe a shower.”

“But I need to get to work!”, I tell him.

“Who said, you'll ever leave this house again?”

“König!”

“I’m keeping you.”, he says, like a definite statement, while he scoops me up and tosses me over his shoulder.

“Brute.”, I say poutily while I can't hold back my giggles.

He just laughs, grabbing my ass as he carries me to the bathroom. “Gonna fuck you in the shower, two birds with one stone. Still need to make you come one more time.”, he lays out his plan.

And I could never say no to that, could I?

We manage to be on time though, even drinking a coffee in the kitchen together, and then he drives me to work.

He also picks me up again, not ready to spend any possible moment apart.

The stupidest biggest grin stalks onto my face when I head out of the office and see his car already parked, faint drum and bass sounds penetrating through. I run up to it and open the door, recognizing the song as Shadow of Intent’s ‘Oudenophobia’, one of the songs I showed him some time ago.

I get into the passenger seat, his hands already grabbing me before I’m properly sitting. Pressing his lips to mine in a kiss. The simple greeting turning into something else with the way he kisses me. Like he doesn’t want to let go.

“Hi.”, I finally manage to say, a little out of breath.

“Sorry, missed you all day.”, he whispers apologetically, backing off a bit, just looking at me.

“No, come back here.”, I say, my hand grabbing his neck, fingers tangled in his hair, and I pull him down to me again for another kiss.

When he pulls back now, he’s grinning down at me. And I don’t need to tell him that I missed him too. He knows.

König straightens up in his seat, shifts the car into gear and pulls out of the parking lot. (The only thing he ever pulls out of, really)

“What’s the plan for today, Prinzesserl?”, he asks me then.

“Oh oh, there is this new Asian fusion place that opened up a few weeks ago.”, I say. “I haven’t been yet.”

He pulls up his eyebrows. “Asian fusion?”

“Yes.”, I say. “They have all kinds of stuff from all over.”

“Spring rolls too?”

“I bet.” I grin up at him.

“Then let’s go.”, he says, the expression on his face mirroring mine.

I sit back, crossing my legs and snuggling into my seat. His hand lands on my thigh and mine clasps over it.

It’s like he never left. Well almost, at least.

And I know that not everything’s forgotten. It doesn’t work like that. My heart is content, but my mind is still catching up. Sometimes thinking about what he said when he left. The promises he made when he came back. Working out how this relationship between us will be from now on. Working with him on that, for both our sakes.

Because despite what happened and my efforts while he was gone... I still do love him.

And we both deserve it.

the whole story in the Masterlist

i'm sorry, i'm so in love with this man that isn't real :') (well, he is, in my mind)

[carlyraejepsans]

mind if i get sappy both negatively and positively for a sec?

if you've been following me for a while you'll remember just last year when i was still in highschool and i was so, so lonely and this blog was getting more popular than i meant for it to be. i was a wreck. i had straight up nightmares about hypothetical call outs and people taking my words out of context to turn people against me and that I'd lose the few people i genuinely thought of as friends. i used to go over my old posts deleting them and obsessively editing the wording when i felt it could be twisted to mean something else. even worrying that the fact they COULD have a double meaning meant i was secretly a horrible person in some sick freudian sense. not a good time to have moral OCD! or anon asks open, lmfao.

and i look at my past self now, after my biggest fear realized so many times it's now a monthly annoyance at worst and well. of course i did. i had no one else! that was the extent of my friendships at the time. the people i met and came to love online were the only place i felt truly safe to be myself around without having to fight for my right to be respected or putting on a persona.

but guess what? that's not the case anymore. I'm out of my parents' house, i have authority over my own decisions and presentation, i have friends at school (real friends! more than I've ever had simultaneously in my life!) that enjoy my company in person and include me in the things they do, fully respecting my chosen name and identity as a trans person. i have a queer community to share my burdens and my joys with, i am finally, finally getting started on HRT which is a dream I thought I'd never reach... and guess what. even my online friends didn't give a fuck. i was so paranoid about being alone again that i forgot to consider that they... also care about me, just like i care about them. that they're not gonna dump me out of nowhere because some random asshole decided i was their parasocial nemesis of the week, and if they had doubts or questions wbout something, we could discuss it in private and either agree or agree to disagree on friendly terms.

idk I'm just doing the best I've ever done in my life. this period of my life is perhaps the first time I've ever felt like a complete and whole person. it gets me a little tender hearted looking back and seeing how much I've grown since the time "something like this" would've been world ending.

anyway if any of this rings familiar to you, know I'm proud of you as well. in the way you've grown AND in the way you will grow, given time. hold the line, soldier. things get getter. that's a promise.

[caeqey]

‎♡‧₊˚࿐ the little things — 엔하이픈 thoughts

or — things my suitor does, that i think en- members would do too

#wc 1k+ pairing ⟢ highschool bf!en- members x gn!reader ⸝⸝ genre : fluffㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ , angst if you squint warnings .ᐟ mentions an argument, food/ed (reader forces themself to not eat)

이희승 : messages you after every round

early in your relationship with heeseung, you quickly caught onto the fact that he loves gaming. you didn't mind it of course, it was nice that he had his own thing. it only became a problem when it started feeling like he cared more about his games than he did you. not wanting to assume the worst, you decided to talked to him about it. heeseung was honestly upset, not because he thought you were being selfish, but because his actions made you feel that way. since then, he loves to text you in between rounds, updating you about the silliest things like —

“baby look! i ranked up 😁” , “I GOT BATTLE ROYALE BABY YIPEE” and often, you'd see notifications like “sorry baby, i was in game. can you play with me next time, please?”

박종성 : brings you food for lunch

jay was aware that you had a bad habit of not eating your food. often times, you'd give your lunch to your friends. it hurt him, seeing you not eat, forcing yourself not to. he took note of your behaviour and then had the bright idea that he should make you your lunch. he never forced you to eat his cooking though, but he did encourage you. as time passed, you grew a healthier relationship with not only food, but with jay as well. the delicious meals he made daily were truly the highlight of your day. every now and then, he also likes to slip in notes that say —

“eat well, you deserve it dear :)” . “i know this is your fav, so i hope i did it justice ( ._. )” , “ sorry if it tastes burnt, making tanghulu is harder than it seems :(“

심재윤 : asks you to go to his games

volleyball season has finally arrived at your school, and that meant only one thing for you. watching your dear boyfriend's games on the daily. being the libero of the senior volleyball team was not a light task, but jake seemed to enjoy it nonetheless. whether it was a regular game or a tournament, he would always ask you to go. you didn't really have much of a choice though, since you are part of the school's photography club. this meant that attending games was mandatory for you. but, mandated or not, you wouldn't dare miss any of his games. it's delightful to see jake in his element, it's as if his aura changes the moment he's on the court. but of course, your boyfriend being the guy he is, jake always reminds you to —

“take pictures of me please !” , “cmonn you're a photographer, you have to take pictures of me” with a pout. however he seems to always say “WOAH THESE LOOK SO GOOD!!! i knew you were amazing sweetheart” in the end.

박성훈 : likes to watch you make art

as one of the school's most prominent artists, you are very well known for the art that you create. sometimes you art would be submitted in national competitions and you'd often get complimented on your skills during your school's art shows. and sunghoon is no different from those who admired your art. in fact, your boyfriend is "your number #1 fan" (as he likes to put it). he loves to go to your house, just sitting there and watching you work with the medium you chose. one day, you asked him why he loves to watch you every time to made art. he thought about what to say for a moment before stating —

“well, i find it odd how you're constantly told that your artwork is stunning, but you're never told that it looks even better as you're working on it. it's like you're an extension of the piece, my darling, you're abeautiful work of art as well.” tearing up at his words, you engulfed him in a tight hug.

김선우 : sends you pictures of the sunset/sunrise

your boyfriend knows how fond you are of the sunset and sunrise. even before you had gotten together, you two would always stay up all night to watch it rise when morning came. ironically, the day (or night ?) you two had gotten together, was when you were once again waiting for dawn. so, whenever sunoo had the chance to, he would always try to send pictures of the lovely sun rising and setting. it became your thing, something only you two did with each other. those pictures would often come with texts like —

“goodmorning honey! isn’t the sunset so pretty?” , “i was out walking and noticed the sun was setting hehe”, “hiii are you uppp? look what i saw :)”

양정원 - loves to build legos with you

both you and jungwon have always been interested in legos, and there was no exception to that.even when you two go to the mall. often entering the lego store to browse for any sets that you liked. so it did not come to you as a surprise when your lovely boyfriend gifted you a set of lego roses for your birthday. he knows how much you’ve wanted to build these types of things with him, it was practically the best gift he could’ve ever thought of! now sitting across from each each other, crossed legged and giggling. things were going as planned until —

“love it’s the other way around!” you exclaimed, “wait, huh ???” despite his experience in lego set building, flowers were not his thing. “the petal, i mean. it’s upside” you chuckled. the night of your birthday went on smoothly as you two continued creating the plastic flower arrangement.

西村 力 — is the miles to your gwen

riki is actually the reason why you had taken an interest in the famous spider hero. he would often talk about the movies and the comics with you, which interested you the more he talked about it. you adored it when he geeked out about his interests, it was the side of him that no one really saw. soon, you were just as addicted as he was. and when the across the spiderverse movie had come out, you two did not miss the opportunity to watch it together. by the time his birthday rolled in, you thought about the perfect birthday present. matching bracelets that were impressed by miles and gwen. you were undeniably anxious though, even spending all night pondering about how he’d feel about the gift. but upon opening your gift he said —

“woah!! it's so cool, thank you!!” riki smiled, genuinely. “wait, hey, are you alright?” he asked, sensing your anxiousness. “i’m glad you like it. and uhm, i know that miles and gwen don't exactly end up on good terms by the end of the movie… but don't worry riks. we're gonna do our own thing”

note ᝰ.ᐟ please tell me someone got the atsv reference in riki's part (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞ anyways i hope you guys enjoyed this !! please leave feedback, it would really help me out :)

[peace-for-levi]

{when you need me...}

who would i be if i didn't project my mental health onto 2D characters/reader and not write about it? i see so many fics of reader being worried for nanami while he's out in shibuya and… we all know what happens there.

content warning: detailed descriptions of anxiety, reader refers to themselves as 'wife' (reader thinks they are a bad wife) and the use of 'she'. it's otherwise in the 2nd person perspective. negative self-talk/beliefs. use of pet names. nanami being the bestest husband. i miiiiight have made him OOC and overindulged on how soft i made him BUT ITS OK YOU GOTTA BE A DELULU IN THIS ECONOMY.

+18 discord server

No, you were not going to call him. Absolutely not! Or text him either, for that matter.

The anxiety had been bubbling away all day inside your head like billowing storm clouds. You were grateful work kept you occupied, but once you arrived home, you trudged to your bedroom. You didn't even change out of your work attire.

You knew the source of all this, too.

Nanami came home injured while you were out dealing with another curse of your own. Thankfully, he had dealt with the bleeding himself and got checked out by Shoko. But to see him come so depleted of energy – dark shadows hanging under his eyes like bats, shoulders heavy – left you extremely unsettled. You were already an anxious mess, and now there are talks of a special-grade 'patchwork' curse. Not to mention the two unregistered cursed spirits that Gojo encountered.

What was going on in the world?

Now, he had been called out to the school again. After being badly injured, no less!

What if he was asked to fight the patch-work curse again? Was that curse able to perform Domain Expansions? Your husband never reached that height of jujutsu…

Would he… make it home okay?

You worked a "normal" job, not being employed at as a teacher at the highschool. As a grade one sorcerer, though, you were sometimes called in on particularly difficult and awkward missions. Your figured your problems with anxiety in the past would slowly fizzle away if you quit working at that highschool; after all, they couldn't make you exorcise and hunt down curses as often if you didn't work there. In your naivety, you assumed that'd be the end to your worries. But they only persisted and got worse the longer your husband of four years continued to work there as a teacher.

You couldn't resent him for it, and you knew he found greater fulfillment in being a teacher than adhereing to the laborious life of a salaryman.

But, maybe… your selfish thoughts got the better of you when you wished he could work a more "normal" job like you… If he worked a job where his safety was guaranteed…

How could you say such a thing? What kind of wife says that?!

Your hand collides against your forehead, releasing a (poorly contained) groan. Your teeth continued to chatter.

Now, I'm a bad wife on top of everything else…

Gruesome images flood your mind's eye. It's obsessive, relentless. After all, you have to prepare for the worst to come, right…? That's what you always do.

If you were by his side, would that make you feel any more relieved? Just by seeing him? But like a jolt, any solution you try come up with is met with more disturbing imagery. It was so vivid, it is as if you were there.

All that gore and worry conjured up in your cursed, anxious little head. The redness – so much red – of your imagery. It seeps and spreads along the ground at a terrifying rate, the image of someone – Kento – bleeding out. No one is there to help him.

You are.

You aren't gifted like Shoko, though.

There is no amount of horror – be it from forms of media or the wicked imagination – that can prepare a person for seeing the life ebb from another; the hopelessness, the tearing at the soul that is the departing of the other. As your loved one leaves this earth.

You're anxious, you're spiralling… You just wanted him to be okay. You wanted him to confirm with you he was okay. But you disturb him enough already with your texts and calls during missions.

Of course, in reality, if you hailed for Kento, he'd drop everything to be with you. He always has.

You didn't realize your thumb was hovering above the 'send' button. Through bleary eyes, you can see a hastily constructed text. Loaded with typos and errors. You're hardly able to read it though. Thumbs fidgting, you toss the phone.

You knew, logically, that he would want to help. He always has helped. But god, maybe you wanted to be big girl for once and try deal with it without him? Maybe be a good wife who doesn't send him a barage of texts when she's anxious?

Anxiety is the leak in your boat. You have to find a way to patch that hole or you'll drown.

But how can you when your worries revolve around your husband's safety?

You try cling to the logic that he has never refused you, made you feel stupid or invalidated you. Ever. But why would you cling to logic when the voice of your anxiety echoes through megaphone at you.

Of course, you're a distraction. Of course, you're a nuisance.

You hadn't even done a single chore to help around the house today. Some wife you were…

Kento would tell you that these thoughts you have are ridiculous. But you couldn't help it. You felt like you were holding him back from everything he deserved – you were so blessed to have a husband like him. You counted your lucky stars to be with him, but you ultimately felt like you didn't deserve him.

But Kento wasn't here now. So all you had was your mind to bully you.

The thoughts come as an electrical storm in your brain that, quite honestly, are painful. It's different from a headache and it feels the same as intense sorrow. It's uneven breaths as you claw at your chest, and it feels like you're suffocating; all the oxygen has been sucked out of the room. It's sobbing to the point of staining your shirt. The intense images come at you with cursed intent. Like being hooked up to a cattle fence - not enough voltage to kill but sufficient to keep things uncomfortable, paralysed with fear and unmoving. And you couldn't, for the life of you, talk yourself out of the spiral.

It wasn't as if you didn't want Kento to be there. You were just denying yourself of his presence. You thought you were being brave, you thought—

Ping!

You lower your hands from your eyes. You gaze at the phone, blinking owlishy, before picking it up.

You let out a groan. In anxiously twiddling your thumbs by your screen, you had sent the (questionable-looking) text.

You don't even have time to berate yourself, for your ringtone begins to chime.

"[F/n], honey. I don't quite understand your text," he greets. He goes back to doing what he was doing – it sounded like he was tidying something away. "Principal Yaga has us staying behind at the school to–"

He stops.

He immediately stops upon hearing you whimper over the phone.

"Sweetheart?"

You mumble, "I-I– Um, N-Nanami, I–"

What if he loses his patience today? Will this be the straw that breaks the camel's back?

You can hear him shuffling over the phone. "Talk to me, what is it? Are you hurt?"

You don't want him to leave work on your account. Damn, your thumbs! If only it stayed as an unsent draft.

You panicked. "I-I'm fine! I think I just–"

You hear him sigh. "You're a terrible liar… You're not fine." A pause. "I'm coming home."

"No, Kento, please–!"

The call ends there. Your fingers seize up and your phone falls to the bed. Your wrists bash off your head, hitting yourself. Stupid, stupid, stupid…

Ping!

Be safe. I'll be there in fifteen.

Your heart sinks, especially knowing that he'd probably break several road safety laws to get back to you as soon as possible.

Another notification arrives swiftly after that.

I love you. You'll be fine.

The fifteen minutes drag by so slowly. You're still rooted at the side of your bed. Not having changed, started laundry, started making dinner. You shake your head. It's frightful how automatically you chastise yourself for anything and everything. Once you hear the click of the door, you shudder and cower, waiting for him to come into your shared bedroom to berate you.

Your eyes are clamped shut still, even when you feel his calloused thumb rub at your knee.

"Oh, sweetheart…" he says, and when he speaks it's so soft. Soft like he'd holding fine china.

He's careful to not press your boundaries too much, not wanting to hold you tighter. But he doesn't sense any resistance right now. You let him hold you.

He holds you like you are the most precious and loveliest thing in his world.

(You are.)

As if you weren't crying enough already, his touch makes you crumble more.

"What has you so anxious, [F/n]?" he asks, rubbing your arms up and down. He pulls away briefly to ask, "May I sit?"

You nod and he sets himself down. You overwhelmed by his love. You always have been. He always spoils you with his soft, passionate touch and his gentle words. You sniffle and it takes every ounce of self control to not explode into a heaving, babbling mess (more than what you currently were.) You continue to sob into his arms.

"Shhh, shhh. You're alright, you're going to be just fine, sweetheart. But in order to be okay, you're going to have to stop holding your breath like that."

You hadn't even realized. You always had been an open book to him.

Breathe, breathe, breathe…

Your thoughts were so out of control, you were in a terrible cycle of either hyperventilating, or holding your breath. You shake your head, trying to break free. He doesn't let go entirely, but he loosens his grip. His hands hold yours, breathing deeply, as if trying to do it for you. You continue to resist, fighting his hold more as you take agonizing breaths.

"Let me hold you. Let me make things better. Let me stay."

You sob harder, knowing that once again he'll be picking up the pieces. Your pieces.

"What has you so worked up?" he asks, in between practiced, deep breaths.

Before you even have a chance to say anything, he whispers softly against your temple, "I love you. So, please, let me in."

And you let everything out.

He holds you close again once each and every worry comes out. He rocks you slowly back and forth, he plants the odd kiss to your dewy temple. He listens to you intently, taking in everything you say and more. He has heard these worries countless times before, and he listens to them as if these are being revealed to him for the first time. He gently 'shhhh's against your brow when you start to hiccup and unravel more.

As your husband, he wants to be able to promise you his safert; he wants to promise he'll come home in one piece.

But he can't do that. Because he doesn't know how any of this will play out.

So he hugs you, impossibly tighter.

"What can I do to help? Tell me what I can do to make it all okay…"

You want to be a good wife; you don't share the selfish thoughts you have, of wanting him to work at a normal job again. Even when he hated it, even when it left him feeling so drained.

So you say nothing and you let your little lie spread its wings.

You calm down in his arms, holding you until your limbs feel heavy. He continues to soothe you as best as possible. His voice was so achingly gentle, rubbing circles into your hips. It has your heart shattering into pieces.

Mindlessly, you mumble under your breath. "I just want you to be okay…" you admit.

He averts his gaze helplessly, because knows he can't promise you that. He relaxes and lays down on the bed, taking you with him. You undo the top button of his shirt.

He smiles sadly. It's the one thing he can't promise.

And though he'll never let you know, he feels like he fails in this duties as a husband.

But sometimes, he knows he's at least doing something right when he helps calm you down from such a state that you end up dozing off in his arms. He holds you til his arms limp and heavy.

In this blood-stained, fleeting life, he'll walk with you to the ends of this earth.

Even if he must depart early.

taglist: @levi-my-beloved @licuadora-nasir @nelapanela94 @whattheheckmidoriya @poisonpeche @unadulteratedtreecrusade @notgoodforlife @sckerman @theferricfox @happybird16 @jayteacups and idk who else

[authenticmiya]

Boston - Chris Sturniolo x Reader

Summary - Based off of the song ‘Austin’ by Dasha. You were Highschool sweethearts and suddenly that all went away.

Words - 1.6k

Warnings - angst /small mention of alcohol

“We had a plan, move out of this town, baby

West to the sand, it's all we talked about lately

I'd pack the car, bring your guitar and jane for smokin'

First thing at dawn, you'd queue the songs and we'd get goin'

But you weren't home, waited on the porch for ya

Sat there alone, all throughout the morn' 'til I

Got a hunch down in my gut and snuck around the back

Empty cans and I'll be damned, your shit was never packed”

"We hit twenty five thousand subscribers baby." Chris declared excitedly as he burst into his room. You were just chilling, awaiting the finish of the triplets' filming.

"No fucking way!" Excitedly jumping up, he embraced you into his arms.

"I'm so proud of you." You whispered, treasuring the moment as their success was very evident.

"We're gonna be in LA sooner than you think." And that was the promise you knew he'd keep. The problem was, that sentence would have the worst outcome in the future.

"Wrap around porch with a puppy?" He nodded excitedly, oh the plans you guys had ready and waiting. They had been planned for the years you'd been together.

It wasn't unknown that being around the Sturniolo household was a daily ritual. You guys were known as the 'Highschool Sweethearts'. How cliché?

"YouTube is kicking off for us and so will your music Y/N." Chris couldn't stop embracing you, excitement yet anxiety filling both of you. That was potentially the most gut wrenching memory to think about. All of the empty promises and plans.

Just like that, a couple of months had gone by. The 'Highschool Sweethearts' seemingly both on board with the thought of going back and forth to LA. They had hit just short of 500k. You had a label willing to sign you in LA. It was all falling into place and before you knew it, the days were building up to the ultimate move across the states.

"I really hope you know what decisions you're making Y/N. I feel like this is all very overwhelming and too good to be true." Your best friend declared and you looked at her funnily.

"I'm not laughing, has Chris even replied to your last eight messages about your flight tomorrow?" And come to think of it, no he hadn't. But he was definitely just busy finalising his packing, wasn't he?

"I'm going to walk to their house after I add the finishing touches to my suitcases. I tried texting Matt but he's not answering either..." Your thinking face came on immediately but quickly faded when you thought there was nothing to worry about.

"He's definitely just sorting stuff out." You muttered.

"We've been together for nearly three years, I don't think he's having doubts." Defending him again.

"I never said anything about him having doubts, that's on you." And so she left you to your own device of figuring out what really was going on with your boyfriend. She wasn't angry, of course not. However, best friends - true best friends always have the better instinct on situations regarding those they care about.

With Travis Scott blasting through your AirPods, your walk to the Sturniolo household began. It was nearing 2pm. Their parents' cars weren't in the drive once you arrived but the minivan was. You had pre-warned quite literally all three of the triplets that you were on your way over, none replied but Chris had the audacity to leave it on read.

"I'm on your porch and you're ignoring me." Sadness suddenly waved across you. What was the real reason none of them were answering?

"Chris?" You knocked on the door. After a solid 45 minutes, your heart was practically hung. There was one last option, head around the back. What a terrible option to pick, you should've just made your way home.

"What the fuck?" Mixed cans of Pepsi, BUD Light and Dr Pepper pretty much everywhere and what sounded like a Bluetooth speaker somewhere in the back yard. What hurt the most was three very familiar voices could be heard, those of whom had ignored you all damn day.

The question was, do you or do you not go in and make your hurt known to all of them?

"Y/N?" Torn from your heartbroken thoughts, Nate noticed you were there and called you out in front of everyone. Making solid eye contact with Chris, he was like a deer in headlights.

"So, this is what you guys have been up to today?" You questioned, an eyebrow quirked in confusion. If it wasn't awkward before, it definitely was now.

"I wanted to call you-" Nick began but was cut short.

"Boys night." Chris stated.

"It's 2pm Chris, hardly a boys night."

"Well we're continuing this through the night." Why was he being so blunt?

"Are you guys all packed and ready for LA at least?" The colour drained from Nicks face, Matt remained silent and Chris was damn right being rude.

"Your shits not even packed?" Everything you were saying seemed to be going over his head.

"Stop fucking ignoring me Chris!" The band had snapped but you were the one breaking.

"Are we going as a team? A couple? A fucking pair of friends? Are we going together at all?" You deemed an answer.

"Jesus Christ Y/N, I can't do this with you anymore. We're gonna be social media influencers and you're gonna jet off on world tours. We've changed, it's not gonna work." Chris' words felt like venom. The cat really had your tongue. Not to forget that he had just called you out in front of everyone both you and him cared about.

"You can't be serious..." You're too strong to cry in front of him, surely you're too strong to cry in front of him.

"Deadly." He stated coldly.

"We might be on the same flight out there but we're not jetting off to the same life like we had here." His triplet brothers were always going to side with him but they had awfully guilty looks as they watched this whole scene unfold in front of them.

"That's it? You're just going to give up on us? You've not even made it to the West Coast and LA has already gotten to your head? What about the wrap around porch?" You didn't even have it in you to stay any longer, the tears were threatening to fall and that was enough to send you running home. Chris had a flash of sadness cover his face but he quickly subsided this, not wanting to let his 'guard' down.

"There's no way that's what just happened." Nick was out of words, confused by his brother and heartbroken for you, his so called best friend.

"Well it did, let's turn up the music."

That was the last you heard from all of them. Chris unfollowing you on Instagram just before boarding your shared flight. Of course without a secure clarification of whether you to were together but it was evident now. If LA was going to be the fresh start then hitting that big red block button was also on your list. You just couldn't do it.

In the studio, a few weeks later.

"Y/N you can take five if the chorus is too much." Your manager politely offered.

"This is the verse, the sealed deal, I'm not backing out of it." You'd gotten a bigger following in a short amount of time. Having one single already teased seemed to bring you lots of attention. Writing songs based on your personal experiences were becoming both a blessing and a curse.

“Did your boots stop workin'?

Did your truck break down?

Did you burn through money?

Did your ex find out?

Where there's a will, then there's a way

And I'm damn sure you lost it

Didn't even say goodbye

Just wish I knew what caused it

Was the whiskey flowin'?

Were you in a fight?

Did the nerves come get you?

What's your alibi?

I made my way back to LA

And that's where you'll be forgotten

In forty years you'll still be here

Drunk washed up in Boston”

You’d proudly gone over your chorus multiple times very well and without tears. The first time you’d written down the lyrics and actually sang them out loud was very different. The feelings and emotions of the situation with Chris really became a reality.

“Y/N, this is gonna be one hell of a fucking hit!” Your manager screeched. Reaching LA, your genre of music was solely gonna be based on your personal preference.

“Hell of a bluff, you had me believin'

How many months did you plan on leavin'?

What happened? Bad habits?

Did you go back? Go batshit?

I loved you, how tragic, oh-oh”

After wrapping up in the studio, you headed straight home. Thankfully you were successful in renting out a 2 bedroom apartment. Of course being in the upcoming limelight was a dream come true but deep down, it was lonely. Three people completely missing out on what would be your success. After a warm bath and some listening to snippets of your single, you couldn’t help but check up on the Sturniolo’s social media’s.

Very quickly, it was a deep regret. They were ‘happy’ and it hurt like hell. Why couldn’t you have all been happy together?

“Alexa why are you fucking playing Kelly Clarkson right now?” You grew emotional, bringing your kneels to your chest as you rested in the sofa.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t quite get that.”

“Fuck you.” You muttered.

“Y/N, your song already had two million hits. They’re going to play it on the radio!” You were quick to burst into cheers and tears as your team surrounded you. Your manager silenced everyone and turned the radio up.

“Here we have the new and quite frankly, most requested upcoming artist. This is Boston by Y/N. Her song debuted just three days ago with her team telling us that she worked incredibly hard.” As the song played on the radio, it all became surreal. The small town Boston girl who had always dreamed about this, finally got her wish. One of the producers wrapped you into a hug as you began sobbing.

“You done it and you deserve it, here’s to Y/N!” That night, they had informed you that there was a party. This was all for you to celebrate not only your single, but your future to! Applying the final touches of mascara, your phone pinged.

Instagram

christophersturniolo sent you a message: Boston?

[linkemon]

Toru Oikawa headcanons

Friendly reminder that English is not my first language. You can check my Masterlists both in English and Polish here. Consider supporting me on Ko-fi.

Other headcanons from this series can be found here.

• Relationship with Toru would be a bumpy and winding road, one that is sometimes nice and pleasant and then turns around and leads you through the worst forest you have ever seen in your life. I think Oikawa would fall in love with someone who blew his mind with their indifference towards him. It doesn't matter if you were a childhood friend or someone he happened to meet at highschool. It would be important for him whether you don't treat him like his fans do.

• Winning the hearts of the girls he could have easily wouldn't be a challenge at all. And the best things always require effort and work. He follows this philosophy in volleyball and it would be no different in the case of love.

• You can hit him on the shoulder and in the head with books for every stupid comment but if he sets his sights on you, you can be sure that he won't give up. A relationship with him would consist of flirtations that you wouldn't take seriously and rare, serious moments when you would feel that what he was saying was sincere and came from the heart. Of course, someone or something would always have to interrupt you.

• Have you styled your hair? He will destroy it. Is this a new hair tie? Now it's his, he'll keep it for good luck. Who gave him permission? He gave it to himself. Same case with casually adding -chan to your name...

• Hajime would be the greatest wingman in your relationship. For a long time he would say that Toru needs to take care of himself because he doesn't deserve you but eventually he would realize that you couldn't live without each other. He wouldn't push either of you to confess but he would certainly discreetly try to give you as much time alone as possible. And it's not easy to find excuses for so many Aobajosai members...

• Toru knows what he wants. And although you would have to wait to hear it in a serious and mature way, it would have been worth it. He would go for a walk with you somewhere on the boulevards, by the water with a nice view. Surrounded by the dim, night lights, he would tell you how he felt. And these would be sincere words. Different from those that he feeds many people on a daily basis. Thoughtful and adequate as always but not superficial, hidden in the depths of his mind when he thinks about your smile in his free time.

• Oikawa likes it when you take off his glasses and then kiss him. He jokes that it's a bit like a scene from a movie. And it's even better when your friends are watching. Let them be consumed by jealousy. One time Kageyama asked you if you were sure you knew what you were getting into.

• Half of the serves since you became a couple are dedicated to you. At training, in high school, he will shout about it loudly, as long as you are anywhere nearby. In more serious matches, when he got into the Argentine national team, he simply put two fingers to his lips and blew a kiss towards the audience. Half the fans were dying of delight before they finally realized you were in the bleachers.

• Sometimes it's hard to balance a career as a professional setter with daily responsibilities. You travel with Toru but for most part, your relationship is a long-distance type. You talk a lot on the phone and on video calls. You get as many discounts on airlines as possible to see each other as often as you can.

[seuonji]

hellooo !! i saw ur reqs were open and i thought of a dumb(?) idea if you wanna write it

a humor hc with the hip hop unit as students on zoom

just something about this image... >>>

from aya: WRAYY OMG OH MY GOD I LOVEEE THIS HAHAHAH. seventeen members are so highschool boys to me so this is right up my alley😭 thank you for suggesting this ily<3

this will be fully platonic!!

seungcheol, doesn’t want to join class but he joins anyway. graded A*** in physical education.

i know he was liked by teachers when he was in highschool so i do think he makes an effort to join class.

he tends to join class late but that’s because he was doing some stupid shit beforehand. like he was probably trying to learn how to do a handstand or he tried to speed run a game before class starts but he ended up forgetting he has class in the first place. (that was me in 2020)

his parents were called and notified that he’s been missing class— that was hard to explain.

he’s definitely dabbled in cheating during tests. he gets away with it but classmates notices the way the light from his screen changes in tones and colours due to him changing tabs when he searches for answers…

+

wonwoo, online class = gaming time.

that man cheered when online class became a thing.

he’s that kid that joins class, turns off his cam and then leaves the zoom on in the background and his attention is averted to gaming.

he’s that kid that the teacher has to call 10 times but they eventually give up.

wonwoo has came back to the zoom class only to find out he was kicked out.

but at some point, teachers refused to keep him in the class until he turns on his camera so eventually he did start turning it on but he still continued to play games but what wonwoo didn’t realise was that his screen reflected on his glasses lense.

morning classes are the worst for him. he’d join the class then sleep.

wonwoo’s grades were in the negatives.

+

mingyu, online class enjoyer.

omg

he’s just a good student idk what to tell you. but that’s not the point.

he might eat during class while accidentally having his mic on, giving everyone some asmr.

other than that he’s chill, teachers love him.

he’s the type to put on weird backgrounds and people always comment on it.

one time he was sending a text to his friend but he ended up sending it to the whole class because he forgot to make the message send privately.

has probably been in an argument over zoom.

headcanon: he was placed into a break room with seungcheol and soonyoung and somehow he was still bullied despite there being a screen between them.

+

vernon, online < offline. procrastination ↑↑↑

he’s diligent in joining i feel. if we take a deep dive, he’s made it clear highschool wasn’t a good experience for him :,)…in his case i feel like he’s diligent in joining because it’s better that going to physical school. as deep as that may sound—

despite him diligent, he tends to drift away from class and he ends up watching youtube videos on the side.

or he’d start using his phone but he gets too immersed that he forgets to hide the fact that he’s on his phone…

i think if he was comfortable enough with the students in the class, he’d show himself on camera more. it might catch you off guard cause you might take a peek at him and all you see is this.

vernon leaned too far back in his chair that he fell. everyone saw it :D

[makingfanfictionstosleep]

My First But Not My Last.

Pairing : Gojo x Femreader, Geto x Femreader

Setting : Started from Pre-Cult Suguru Geto // Some folks will not die // Modified that Kenjaku will not totally take over Geto's subconscious later on // Girl bff Shoko, Mei Mei & Utahime, Strong sorcerer reader // Death, Murder Spree, Romance, Lemons.

Rating : M || m i n o r s d o n o t i n t e r a c t

Part 7 : Residuals

<< Previous ...... Next >>

"Can you tell me again why I shouldn't kill that kid?" Suguru said while drying his damp hair with a towel, "He has broken a lot of rules, had a binding vow with Mahito & Pseudo-Suguru, worst of all, he placed you in great danger."

You sighed as you stepped out of the shower, began to dry your body with a fresh towel as you listened to your boyfriend rant on why he should or shouldn't kill Kokichi Muta. You knew that his heart is in the right place, however when it comes to killing people off, you're just to wary because he has this certain level of feral living inside of him. He could kill anybody easily if he'd go all out. You heard a rumor that a non-sorcerer would not even last millisdeconds inside his domain so that's something. You could somewhat counter his ability as you are his natural enemy. Ironic, right?

You feel fresh now that you have taken a bath in Meimei's luxurious guest room with a very spacious, hotel-caliber bath, complete with jacuzzi, shower & tub. That woman is all about luxury, not that she doesn't deserve it.

"He's just a kid who wanted to have a normal body to be with the woman he fancies," you remarked as you entered your room, "I don't agree with his ways, but that's his intentions. Plus I don't think he would put us all in harm. I think he tried to find a way to break into their system, but it would have been better if he came to us. We could have helped him out," you answered.

Anything that came out of your mouth was thrown out of the window the moment you emerged from the bathroom because Satoru was not listening at all.

"Satoru?"

"Hmm."

"Did you hear what I said?"

"Huh?"

Nope. He wasn't listening at all because you were wearing nothing except his t-shirt.

For this specific situation, you all had agreed to leave clothes at each other's houses, but you have already maxed out yours since you visited Meimei the most so you have taken all the dirty clothes back home. Only Utahime & Satoru had extra clothes in Meimei's house, but you opted for Satoru's because they're more comfortable to sleep in.

Satoru couldn't even make out whatever you were trying to say because his focus was on how his shirt looks so good on you.

You realized what was happening & gave up. You sauntered your way to the bed & straddled him, his hands automatically grabbing your thighs.

"Did you even hear what I said?" You whispered breathily against his ear.

"Not even a word," he admitted, "I was distracted."

"By what?" You rocked your hips against his, directly pushing your center to his already rock hard member, "Do tell."

"By a lot of things, 6 eyes remember?" He answered through his gritted teeth, painfully aware that you were not wearing any underwear as he groped your ass, his shirt hiked up revealing your creamy skin underneath.

"You're killing me here," He panted, "Damn princess," then he slapped your ass playfully.

"Not too loud, or Meimei would kick us out," you scolded him half-heartedly, "Seriously, Satoru."

"You should have thought that through before wearing my shirt," he mumbled before capturing your lips in a hot kiss.

And that's the reason Meimei ensured to have all the walls sound-proofed because she couldn't bear another sleepless night because of your bedroom activities with Satoru Gojo. God knows she had lots of those back in highschool or during missions but not in her own home.

Morning came & Utahime was always the first to wake up, much to her annoyance, because she's always the adult one in the circle. However, upon entering the kitchen, she smelled a familiar scent of nicotine & she immediately rushed & was happy to see the other adult in her circle - Ieri Shoko.

"Yo," Shoko greeted coolly while cooking eggs in the pan.

"Shooooko!" Utahimi squealed in delight, "I'm so relieved you are here!"

"Ui Ui flew me in," Shoko explained as she turned the heat off & transferred the eggs to a plate, "Now you have to fill me in."

Utahime filled Shoko in the events & even gave her the same warning that Satoru had given them. Shoko has always been the neutral one of all. She also understood why Satoru wanted to keep this to themselves as they don't know who amongst the higher ups are with them or against them. This is also to protect the welfare of the students who are innocent & are only following orders from their teachers or the principal.

"I think Y/N can nullify the prison realm, but we have to do more research to make sure that it won't do damage to her," Shoko said as she drank the coffee Utahime made for them.

"Why the fuck are we talking about this early in the morning?" You grumbled sleepily, dragging your feet to the counter, grabbing Utahime's mug, "Can't we have a normal morning where we talk about girl stuff?"

"Like how Satoru kept you up all night?" Shoko dully commented, making Utahime blush deep red.

"Something like that," you agreed sleepily as Utahime smacked your arms.

"S-shut up! You're supposed to be embarrassed by that & you," she pointed at Shoko, "should not be encouraging her!"

"Satoru's not that discreet, you all know that," Meimei yawned as she joined the rest of them, "They're the reason this whole unit is soundproofed as I want to sleep soundly at night if ever there's a need for us to be in one roof like last night."

"But that doesn't mean we can't hear their movements!" Utahime shrieked, face still blushing from the memory of last night.

"Well, Satoru had a lot of energy given that he was mad," you rambled on, "But we did not break anything, I assure you Meimei."

"Thanks, that's all that matters," Meimei answered as she stole Utahime's mug from her hands, "Fuck all you want just don't break anything. As long as I don't hear your moans I can sleep alright."

"I need normal friends," Utahime said in a dramatic, defeated tone, "None of you are normal."

"I can be your normal friend," Satoru chimed in with his usual energy, "Good to see you here, Shoko."

"You're the opposite of normal, Satoru," Shoko greeted as she handed him a fork.

"I take it you're here for Muta?" Satoru asked as ate one of the eggs on the plate, "Want to study the kid's body?"

"Mhmm. I bet there are residuals all over his body," Shoko answered with an unusual glint of excitement in her eyes, "I'd love to see how it happened & if it'd have effects on his heavenly restriction."

"No effects, but he's all yours," Utahime answered uncheerfully, "Just don't kill him."

[ningningsdream]

the villain in your story | part fifty

word count: 0.9k

"what's up?", jaemin's voice reached your ears as his arms wrapped around your waist from behind.

"oh nothing.", you lied, quickly putting your phone away.

after tweeting that picture of jaemin, you scrolled through your feed to catch up with whatever you missed and saw jiwoo's and lia's tweet about dresses and a wedding. you started wondering if it was the same one as the one you were attending. it wouldn't be that far fetched since they were also friends with your ex back in high school and if he invited you, he probably invited them as well. if you weren't sure about going at first, you were even less now. all your problems would be reunited in one place.

"you're doing it again.", jaemin said, snapping you out of your thoughts. you turned around to look at him, face full of confusion, "you're pushing me away."

jaemin let go of you to walk to your couch, hands in his pockets and shoulders slightly slumping.

"i'm sorry.", you sincerely apologized.

"you don't have to. i don't want you to feel pressured to talk to me about things you're not comfortable talking to me about. but i hope that you, at least, talk about it to someone. whether it be jimin, minjeong...or even hyuck.", jaemin tried not to sound too defeated but you caught on the insecurity in his voice, especially when he said donghyuck's name.

"it's not you, really.", you settled on the other end of the couch with a sigh, "i don't talk about my problems unless someone really pushes me to do so. i usually bake until i forget about them."

jaemin frowned at your statement, he wondered how many hardship you've kept to yourself during your life so far and especially recently since you've baked non stop.

"but i've gotten better. back in highschool, i sometimes went to jiwoo and lia when i needed comfort, without really telling them that i needed it or that anything was wrong. now, i can sometimes manage to talk to jimin, minjeong and hyuck if i feel the need to but this... this is just too much. i can barely process anything myself, so talking about it..."

"hey, it's okay. take your time.", jaemin's soft gaze never left you as he reached out to take your hand.

"it's just that the whole thing with jiwoo was already hard to handle. i felt like i was betraying her but at the same time, i was mad at how she handled things. then, my ex showed up out of no where? inviting me to his wedding as if he didn't tell me a few years earlier that he'd never want to get married, but turns out he just didn't want to get married to me, i guess. i don't even know why i feel like this, it's not like i'm still hung up on him. i'm not sad, nor jealous about the fact that he's getting married. i don't want to marry him. but there's this feeling as if something was heavily sitting on my chest, and i can't breath and it just spread all over my body. and added to all of that, lia, who just came back from visiting her family abroad, texted me to defend jiwoo as if her life depended on it, making me feel even worse. it was just the last straw, i completely broke down. i still feel bad about taeyong, johnny and you witnessing it, though."

"we were more worried about you than anything else."

"and i'm sorry, to you, because you deserve so much better than all of this.", you said, waving your arms around.

"hey, now, don't start saying ridiculous things.", jaemin said, putting his hands on your shoulders and looking at you in the eyes to make sure you heard him.

"no but, it's the truth. you've done so much for me and given so much while i've barely given you anything in return. i keep pushing you and everyone away when things get too much. the worst is that i'm aware of it, but i keep doing it anyway..."

"y/n, i don't expect anything in return. i know it takes longer for some people to open up than others. i'm part of the people that can open up pretty easily when i'm comfortable with someone but i know everyone is not like that. i'm willing to wait as long as you'll still want me to. sure, i'm kind of sad when i feel like you're pushing me away, but i get it. and what you're doing right now is already a lot. don't worry."

you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, giving him a hug you needed, "thank you.", you tightened your arms around him, half your body laying on the couch as you just launched at him for the hug, not really moving your butt from where it was on the couch.

jaemin just smiled and chuckled at your position before putting his hands on your waist and pulling you closer to him, then adjusting his position so you could both be laying on your pretty small couch - at least for two people. he wrapped one arm around your waist as his other hand was gently playing with your hair. your arms went from around his neck to around his torso as your ear pressed against his chest. jaemin's heart was beating really fast - as it always does in your presence - but he wasn't afraid of you hearing it. in fact, he hoped you could so you'd know how you made him feel.

main masterlist | tviys masterlist

pairing: fem!oc x barista!jaemin, fembarista!reader x barista!jaemin

genre: fluff, angst, suggestive, barista!au, sns au

summary: girls' code prevents you from liking the guy your friend likes right?

a/n: i wonder how i managed to write such a green flag!jaemin wtf

taglist: [@glamourizz @rinrinslovebot @beomibeom @moonjobf @hiqhkey @calssunflower @donghyuckster @vianna99 @kookiedesi @baehaechannie @nshimura @thiccfullsun @dear-dreamie @neobowlingshoez @jjaehmins @liliansun @bythe8 @hyuckrec @dearlyminhyung @ohmygs-blog @hoeshi17 @wonupuppy @shan-oldham @jeongintwt @renjunoya @najm00 @sukistrawberry @goldryush @000rpheus @sfthyuka @mxnhoeuwu @dandelionxgal @vanillainverse @niaalove @igotkpoops ]

prev | next

[alphawolfstabs]

billy trying to be a dad to tara hcs pls?!?! with the help of sam's convincing ofc hehe

OFFFCCCCC

I genuinely love thinking about this. Omg. Ofc ofc ofc sweet Tara MREOW

Tara and Billy father/daughter dynamic head canons for my Tara 🩵 [definitely not influenced by Sam, who would say such a thing??]

Okay, as I stated in my team loomis post: Billy initially didn’t want to be a dad to Tara. Tara wasn’t his, he didn’t see a reason to try with her. BUT, after seeing her and Sam being close and after overhearing their conversations about certain things, Billy came to the conclusion that it would probably be best to be a dad to Tara as well.

He’s a hardass with Sam, but with Tara, he’s mostly laid back in a way. He’ll worry about Tara and everything, but they don’t bicker as much as he does with Sam.

NOW, at the beginning Tara somewhat avoids Billy. She’s not scared of him or anything, but she doesn’t know how she feels in all honesty. She wants to be with Sam, and Sam is with Billy, but she’s very cautious.

Billy takes note on the cautious attitude from Tara, and he slowly involves her into conversation he has with Sam. Small example:

Billy:*Talking to Sam about something from his past* Sam:*Listening* Tara:*Walks into the room* Sam!- oh.. hi Billy:*Looking at Tara* …Hey Tara, need something? Tara:Not really.. just wanted to remind Sam of something. Billy:Ahh,, well, We’re talking about how highschool was for me, wanna know about it? Tara:..Sure, yeah- okay-

I feel like Tara would make more of an effort to actually let Billy get close after he starts his therapy. Because it helps her realize that yes, he is making an effort and yes, he does care.

Just like with Sam, Billy tends to be way too protective of Tara. Tara makes new friends? Billy has to ‘inspect’ them. Tara gets a partner? Billy also intimidates them.

[ik you ship tamber so this is personally for you teehee] Billy is very 50/50 about Amber being around Tara. While he does try to be the “protective but still laid back” kind of dad to her, when Amber is around it’s a different story. It’s always “Door stays open.” “No, Amber cannot stay for dinner.” “Tara, don’t you have college homework to work on instead?” “Tara, I just don’t see why she needs to be around so much.” He is NOT homophobic, he just gets the worst of vibes from Amber. [does he eventually let it go because Tara is happy? …yes, but Tara can’t know that]

Tara would remind Billy to take his medication everyday because she would be used to reminding Sam, and Tara knows they both forget a little too easily.

This one actually goes for Sam and Tara and I just thought of it omg- Billy keeps track of their cycles, so a few days before it starts he goes out and gets everything they might need. Like medicine, their favorite drinks and snacks, things of the like

To go with the one previously, I like to think Tara has a special blanket she cuddles up with when her cycle starts, but it has to be freshly washed and really warm and fluffy when she gets it, and Billy has learned this and starts washing it for her. Crazy thing is? He’s figured out how to time it almost perfectly so when it’s done in the drier, Tara goes and gets it so it’s EXTRA warm.

Billy will also kill for Tara if she asked. It’s his love language apparently.

Billy will absolutely give Tara anything she wants, but, he only does the at when Sam’s around. Call him crazy- he wants to mess with Sam in the process [playfully, of course.]

Billy loves taking Tara out shopping. He just loves being with her and sam, but also, he loves seeing the different ways Tara will style herself. [don't tell Sam, but Billy absolutely thinks sam needs a lesson or two in style]

HOPE THESE ARE OKAY FDHFDJHGFJGHFSHDG AND I HOPE YOU LOVE THEM!!!

[miss0atae]

Random Thoughts about The Rebound ep 3 & 4 :

Wow so many things happened in these episodes. I don’t know where to start. I have to admit this series is really getting more interesting for me. I’m glad I tried it even if I wasn’t super hyped about it. I like when I try somethings that doesn’t seem to be for me and the series proves me I was right to give it a chance. That would be great if the series continues to surprises me this way.

▪️ So Ruy decided he would no longer participate in street basketball and instead he joined the school team and went back to school. Of course, he needs no introduction because people already considers him as trouble, especially on the team. However, he doesn’t really care. He doesn’t need people to approve him to do what he wants to do. When the rest of team members didn’t helped Jedi because they didn’t want the team to be suspended, Ruy didn’t hesitate to step in. It was a bit disappointed some members were so hostile to him just because he used to play street basketball and they imagined the worst of him. I get why Ruy got frustrated to be treated differently just because of his “past”.

▪️ On the other hand, I think Zee feels a bit lost. He is still driven by his desire to make his team succeeded and he takes to heart his role as the team captain. You can see how basketball is important to him. At the same time, while being a high school student (I still have trouble accepting this reality. I believe they should have put all of them in uni because they don’t look like highschoolers at all) he also has to work and take care of his grand-mother. It must be difficult to navigate all of these. I still believes he is trying his best, but sometimes it’s too much. Despite all of these, I’m amazed by his resilience.

▪️ To be honest, I’m more drawn to the relationship between some characters than the characters in their individuality. I’m going to try to explain what I mean. By themselves, the characters are interesting but what makes the series stand out is the link between some of them and how it affects the plot. I have few in mind and I will describe why I like them.

▪️ First of all, there are Zee and Ruy. We’ve learned they were childhood friends who used to play basketball together in the same team when they were in middle school. They were really close, but then something happened and they lost contact. They met again while being in high school. You can see that they switch easily back to the time when they were close. At one point, Ruy was chilling on the roof and Zee played invisible basketball again with him, just like when they were children. You could see how fast they went back to play together like nothing happen and then, they were this moment of wavering and they got shy. It was like they remember they weren’t as close as before and also there is something is going on... There is this little tension between them when they are only together. There were some interrupted moments when I thought they would kiss each other… and then nothing. Two characters made us known Ruy has feeling for Zee: Atom noticed it when Ruy came to Zee’s house, and Q also questioned him about it. What about Zee?

▪️ Speaking of Q and Zee. Their relationship is so ambiguous. With one flashback we learned that Q kind of saved Zee and since then they have this strong brothers’ relationship. Q seems to care a lot about Zee, but sometimes you wonder if there isn’t more. I feel we didn’t get enough from Zee to be sure. I think it’s because Q seems to be more expressive than Zee about his feelings. I don’t know, I may be wrong. I hope we’ll learn more about them. To be honest, I feel like Q has really ambiguous relationship with everyone he is close with. I mean his relationship with the gangster (can’t remember his name properly) isn’t properly clear. In the first two episodes, I felt like they had something going on before, but Q was injured and couldn’t play as before, so he became less interesting to the gangster and now their relationship isn’t the same. Maybe I’m just imagining things.

▪️ Atom started to be the character I’m wary about. At first, I was really happy I’ve found one character played by Frank that I like. However, I feel like he is trying too hard and it’s getting unconformable. When he was eating with Zee, he was always making requests Zee couldn’t really reject. You could feel how uneasy was Zee. Even if he accepted all of his requests, you could see on his face that he considered not agreeing with them at first, but then changed his mind. I also feel weird about how Atom is trying so hard to get into Zee’s life. He was at his home, he wants to see Zee outside and he is always making sure Zee can’t really reject what he is offering. He is too nice to be true. It could just be me who is too mistrustful, but I feel like Atom is hiding something.

▪️ I’m also really interested about what is going on between Prince and the other team member Jed. Give me more about them, because I like it.

Of course, many other things happened but those are the ones which I wanted to talk about (I didn’t talk about Zee kidnapping or Ruy threatening Jedi’s bullies with a lighter in a high school!!). I’m really excited about the upcoming episodes and I can’t wait to watch them.

[matchagirliris]

“moon and sea” Oikawa X reader oneshot [part1] ➞ part2

Summary: You had oikawa had a flirty friendship it was something but it was nothing at the same time. As you find out he’s leaving for argentina you can’t help but reminisce on everything and truly realized how much you wanted to be something with him. Is it too late?

[You guys know the deal based off “no one noticed” by the maria’s, happy ending? kinda? sorta peaceful i guess matcha girl out :p ]

You had Oikawa had a little fling going on for the last year of highschool up until your early 20’s. It was never serious considering the fact that he had so many fan girls and you just didn’t want to deal with them and fully commit to someone who had so many admirers, you admit it you were a bit selfish. At the same time you didn’t mind the arrangement he didn’t either you guys were friends who flirted…that’s all right? no real in depth feelings just close friends but not enough to be lovers.

As you and oikawa sit in your living room watching your guys favorite show, As it ends and you guys finish laughing oikawa comes up to look at you. “Hey y/n i have to tell you something i already told iwa and the others but i was holding off on telling you just because i know it’s a bit different between us.” he says you look at him confused wondering what he could possibly be talking about. “oikawa you don’t have to hold off saying things to me like the rest no matter what we are or doing we’re best friends first too you know.” You stare at him with a bit of worry in your eyes preparing for the worst. “Yeah i guess you’re right…” he says in a low voice. “Anyways im heading to play for argentina in the next week or so…i wasn’t sure how to bring it up im sorry it took so long for me to tell you. I just wanted to make sure im doing the right thing.” he says looking nervous now. You pause happy for him and excited he’s getting this opportunity, so why does your heart feel so heavy?

You shake the feeling off and put on a smile and give him a strong hug just in case it was the last one you were able to give him before he left. “That’s amazing oikawa i’m so happy for you I understand not telling us and waiting till you were sure, you were just being smart” you smile harder trying to mask the absolute pain. He saw right through you tho he just didn’t want to make it worse so he pretended like he didn’t notice. “thanks for understanding it was better than iwa i got a total punch to the arm” he says laughing and you along with him “classic iwa” you say in unison. Then the awkward silence came as the question of “what happens to us” pops up in your guys head “you know you can always come visit as my friend i’ll show you around once i figure it out you know” he says smiling softly. “as my friend” you thought it sorta stung you in a way that has never before knowing that the little fling you guys had for so long has come to an abrupt stop, You weren’t entirely sure how to you were gonna cope with it but you wanted nothing more than happiness for oikawa as he wanted for you.

As you snap out of your thoughts you say “yes of course you better have a room ready for me and iwa so we can visit you okay?” you say laughing try to make the best out of your heart feeling ripped out. What you didn’t know was that oikawa was feeling the same if anything worse. He wanted you to come with him he wanted you guys to be together he wanted you to fight for it but at the end of the day he knew you didn’t want to compete with his fan girls even when in his eyes they were no comparison to you, You were like the moon he was the sea you shined brightly and beautifully while he watched at a distance constantly trying to reach for you. his fan girls were the sand non important. washed up. all the same. Nothing compared to his moon his beautiful singular moon only one of its kind nothing can replace it. He smiles back and says “Well of course i’ll make sure it’s prepared only the best of the best for my best, as for iwa i’ll just give him the bare minimum as pay back for the punches” you laugh flattered in a way he always manages to make your heart flutter and flip in ways you didn’t know we’re possible. You loved that about him because everything he said felt so sincere and genuine how could you not fall for that?….

As he left your house to go home since it was getting late, later than usual you hug each other goodbye as he kisses you on the cheek a pink tint across your face begins to form, unfortunately you never got used to him doing that. Just like he never got used to you holding his hands whenever you were nervous and fiddled with his fingers. You both had things that one you couldn’t get used too that rush, those butterflies were everything to you guys it was like a having your favorite food the rush of happiness and excitement of eating but over and over again but never getting sick of it, You were going to miss that, you were going to miss tooru and everything thing about him.

As you get ready for bed you can’t help but think why this is hitting you harder than usual. I mean sure yeah it’s normal too feel sadness about your friend leaving but this is more of a “come on don’t leave me” miss. Could it be the fact that you truly had feelings for oikawa i mean you wouldn’t mind it but all the problems and the long distance would make it hard and the time zones and you had a good life here in japan that you couldn’t just risk and depend on oikawa for everything. You always fill your head with the doubts and retreat back to just keeping it how it is because how it is currently just fine or now how it was. self sabotage was one of your worst flaws. oikawa knew that he knew you are the type of person to hold back just because of the many risks that you felt were in front do you, As you fall asleep thinking about everything you can’t help but wonder if you actually fell for oikawa.

[That concludes part 1 i hope you guys enjoy this so far and i’ll make a tag list for part two for those who want to keep up with this story lmk if you want to get tagged] anyways have a goodnight/day matchagirl out :p

[infranuz]

iv. hopeless | snap out of it

it was late at night and chishiya had just placed his phone down after the short conversation with his friends. same as always “chishiya she did this-” “chishiya you’re going to loose her” “chishiya, chishiya chishiya” it was all too overwhelming for the guy.

it wasn’t even about being in denial anymore, he knew how he felt yet he wanted to ignore it so bad. even he agreed with the rest of his friends, as much as he wanted to just let it go he couldn’t. he had to do something before you ended up getting into an actual serious relationship.

it was too much thinking to do, it was tiring, was he really that hopeless? you’ve known him for so long yet he can’t bring himself to face you face to face and confess that he’s in love with you, for years now. would you reject him? would you stop talking to him? could he even make you happy?

chishiya knew he was smart but never smart enough when it came to relationships. he could no longer deny that he was in love with you the fact that he’s been in love with you for years now. every time he had to watch you cry because of some stupid guy who didn’t work out in the end. how many times you called him at 3 am just to rant about how you felt like you weren’t good enough or how you weren’t fit for relationships.

if only he had never shared that one moment with you, maybe he would be fine now. if only you hadn’t called him up that day. maybe if you hadn’t met at all when you were both children he wouldn’t have to go through all of these overwhelming feelings. all those memories he still had yet to be completely forgotten.

why did you act like you never once spoke all those words to him, maybe yeah you were just children. and maybe yeah he shouldn’t have taken every word to heart but it was inevitable. all those “chishiya and i will be living together in the future with three cats as our children!” or the “chishiya, promise me you’ll marry me the second we turn into adults and live the rest of our lives together, yeah?”

all your stupid words that chishiya had to hear all throughout your childhood. worst of all that stupid day, the day he brought you to the high schools dance because your date had ditched you. the day he sat down with you on the benches making sure you would be okay. the day you slowly looked up to him and kissed him on the lips thanking him for everything he’s done.

were all your words just sweet lies you had made up for him to stay with you? did you even mean a single one? if so, if you did then why were you falling in love with other guys who weren’t him, was he all just a friend to you all this time.

all he wanted to do was forget you even existed at all, not having to worry about the person you’re in love with falling in love with someone else and staying with them forever. sadly it wasn’t that easy and he had to deal with being a second option.

he slowly got up from his bed as he made his way to his desk with all thoughts of you still circling his mind. he sat down for a while laying his head down staring at the picture up in display, it was you, him and arisu in your highschool uniforms. just as his thoughts were about to flow back to his memories his phone could be heard ringing, it was 3 am.

he would be a fool to answer in his state, specially already knowing who it was, you, of course. just as he was going to let the phone ring and not answer his body moved by it’s own and immediately reached for the phone answering the call. hell even he surprised himself with the sudden move.

“shuntaro? are you there?” you would only call him by his actual name when you were alone.. your sleepy voice could be heard from the speaker of his phone. he didn’t want to answer, he still had things to figure out. he didnt want to hear you talking about finally finding someone for the 100th time. why was he so worried in the first place? it would just end like every other time anyway right? there was nothing to worry about.. all that reassurance yet he still felt that bad feeling in his heart.

thankfully not once did you mention him liking someone, not once was the topic brought to the table, heck there was no speaking at all whatsoever.

“i’m here” he responded lightly just enough for you to hear. “i can’t sleep..” it was the 5th time this week you couldn’t sleep, and each and every single time you would call him and rant about different things mainly always your love life but also other things like small details from your day or old memories you had from when you were children.

and he would listen to you every single time, every single word until you could no longer talk from how sleepy you were. and as cliche as this may sound, you would always fall asleep on call with him. he found it oddly comforting hearing you snore as you slept, not in a weird way of course.

this time though, was different “shuntaro, I just want to sleep in call with you, can I play cigarettes after sex?” weirdly enough you didn’t rant about your day or your love life or small things you found unique, you just wanted to sleep. “I wonder how it would feel like sleeping with you again yknow? like old times” ah yes, when you both used to share a bed because the darkness scared you.

he only hummed at your words not knowing what to say, “well then, goodnight shuntaro. sleep well okay?” you fell silent, a couple of second later he could hear k by cas playing in the background. no longer wanting to think about anything else he got up from his desk and went back to his bed laying down. he got comfortable enough to try and fall asleep “goodnight [name]”

though you thought he had fallen asleep, he was still wide awake hearing the music playing as you slept “supposedly”. suddenly he could hear a voice, your voice talking “you’re probably sleeping, but thats whatever not like I’ll ever be able to tell you this face to face but, shuntaro, I genuinely appreciate you. im glad I met you that day, im thankful for everything you’ve done for me and I hope we can stay together forever, I love you chishiya.”

he could feel his heart starting to beat faster as he heard those last 4 words. once again he was going to make a fool of himself by believing you meant that in a romantic way. you were making it hard for him to forget you, so close yet so far. chishiya had finally come to a conclusion that very night you said those words.

— ooc chishiya!?!? yes most likely, I tried to keep him as in character as possible but then again it’s still chishiya so!! well I do hope it was at least accurate. last chapter for today btw im so sleepy 😭, not proofread so there are probably some mistakes. anyway chishiya is slowly making his way to confessing!! next chapter will most likely come on friday or sooner if I’m done with it early. anyway goodnight everyone!! <33

tags!! ,, tags!! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝!! | if highlighted purple, tag doesn’t work💔

@parkersmyth . @surshica . @spaceshattered-skies . @rainqissedd . @saltysoftgrungeofscience . @captivq . @vernon-dursley . @fishisahappydog . @trinmadol . @elernity . @naegisimp . @4vonly . @sincerely-raine . @yvrikoo . @sicksanji . @mxbrahms

[btspeedfreaxx]

I realize it’s been a while. I sincerely apologize. Life has just been so busy… and I think I speak on behalf of all my BT/DZ brethren, sisteren and non-binary friends when I say that it truly hasn’t been the same without either Acchan and Issay in this world.

How has it already been a year-?! Today especially has been very very rough. However much I have healed since perhaps one of the 2 worst days of my life… here today it feels like all that grief, loss and regret came flooding back to me. Like it just happened. Yet in the blink of an eye, it’s now been a full year since we lost Issay.💔 just the mere thought of that makes me want to cry… yet I’ve out poured so many tears over him… that it’s to the point where it psychically hurts today. Nothing comes out, And yet they don’t stop. Ever since that day, I’ve never stopped thinking about him. Or Acchan. Both are forever my eternal heroes.♾️🥹

It’s thanks to Atsushi that Issay saved my life. I’d known about his existence for quite some time, but never payed much attention to him. Until the last stretch of 2021, stretched into the start of 2022.

**Trigger warning folks- I want to tell my story… but this gets dark. So if you want to skip ahead, I completely understand. But in short form… I’d somehow managed to crawl out of the abyss from a 4 year battle with addiction that almost k!lled me. I don’t want to go into details- but during that time I did many awful things. To my family who were just trying to help; to the few friends from highschool that I managed to keep with me, who I then pushed away. When I realized what I had done, I found myself in an abyss, even darker than the last. It was extremely lonely- I felt so numb, isolated, and distant from the world. Like I was floating. I almost didn’t make it.

But within this abyss, I got to know Issay. And I fell head over heels in love with this endlessly fascinating and charismatic man, who was so Unapologetic about who he was, and seemed to share so much in common with my own self. So much of our views on life were the same. Reading about his story… about how he came to write Matsu Uta. It’s amazing how an artist who doesn’t even know you exist can strike you where you feel it most- for somehow his lyrics for Matsu Uta spoke exactly to how I felt in that time. I’d found a new saviour. Which is why I chose to sing Matsu Uta above.⏫ it made me realize that I wasn’t alone. That I wasn’t a burden to my parents or anyone.

“I’ve been here since some time ago

Staying here, sleeping in a standstill

People pass me by

The wind passes me by too

Dreams?　Despair?　Or is it hope?

I wait for you…

I’m just waiting for you

A plethora of times pass me by

A plethora of dreams pass me by

Flickering shadows keep dancing

While I simply stand defenseless

I just want to stand here and wait

I wait for you…

I’m just waiting for you”

(*lyrics translated by Yoshiyuki and taken from their site ;p),

It’s because of that song, because of Issay that I saw a light. And it kept me going, bit by bit. One small baby step at a time. And even when I stumbled back- I now had both he and Acchan’s bodies of art and music to catch my fall, and to comfort my wounds whenever I needed solace. Had it not been for either of these bands, especially Der Zibet at that time, I would not be here today.

Acchan and Issay didn’t just save my life, through them they changed my life, and transformed me into a far better person than I was back then. even after their psychical passings- I feel I still continue to learn more and transcend my inner self, through their legacies of which I swore to carry out, and through every single fan/person who knew them personally. Who continue to do nothing but outpour in love and praise for the 2 of them. For how genuinely compassionate and caring about the world they were. Their “love story” truly opened my eyes towards my own views on life, love and what it could mean.

So Acchan, Issay… if you are somehow reading this. From the bottom of my heart- since I’ll never have the chance sadly to say this to you both in real life. Thank you, so much. 🥹🌸🖤🦇🥀✨♾️ I hope and pray wherever it is you 2 are. You’re at peace. And you are where music and love are up there.

In the meantime, with whatever time I may have left here on earth- I vow that I will never ever shut up. About either of you. 🖤 I love and miss you both so much.♾️🥹 forever and always.

🌈✨ see you over the rainbow someday. Thank you all for reading. Please take care… cherish all that you love. And live life to the fullest that you can.

🦇🥀 rest in power my beloved count. A forever legend to me. Always. https://youtu.be/DY0rVs3pT9A?si=ccO-KWJ-rLJsvZUV