#and when the writing is rushed then the morals will be skewed and people will misconstrue them even more and talk badly about the show and

[smokestarrules]

eight-episode seasons becoming the norm, shows being cancelled after their first or second season altogether, corporations not spending a single dollar to promote their renewed shows, corporations deciding to renew based on how many people binge it over and over and over again... this is the slow, choking death of media literacy. 

[countryfriedcatboy]

dutch van der linde thoughts and feelings and the human condition,,,

like. i think that dutch being a good guy who is capable of compassion and kindness can like. coexist with his skewed view of the world and his place in it. hes just as capable of saving and cradling those less fortunate than him as much as he is at using them for his own gain.

and like. the facade to me. is more in his psyche than anything else

its a mask of strength and intelligence for his own sake

and his relationship with molly is meant to show you how negligent and mean he can get. it also shows you that hes insecure and lashes out whenever somebody tries to help him

he doesnt like being wrong or being ridiculed in any sense because it reflects back on what i think he feels he is at his core. a nobody. a two bit outlaw. and when thats pointed out he gets defensive

i want to be able to explain that yes. he wants to help people and he wants a better world but that wanting has become twisted over the years and now that hes backed into a corner that thought becomes second place (and micah encourages this) and hes willing to throw people under the bus

he thinks everyones out to get him and that he can only trust himself

i also think that stems from the fact that hes so scared of everyone leaving him or everything going wrong that hes come to the conclusion that nobodies really sticking around for him

and i think this can also exist at the same time as his moment of narcissim cus. thats how mood swings and especially bpd (whether or not he has it) is like. part of him being all over the place is because of this

he can be a kind man while also being a hypocrite of all sorts. the human condition allows this

his words and his actions do not always match up for good and for bad

and i think thats like. the core of it all is that hes meant to show a part of the human condition which allows for so many possibilities and shows how these choices can go beyond what you think or what you feel. dutch was going to get backed into a corner no matter what happened. but he jumped the gun and assumed (in actions rather than words) that he was already doomed and acted accordingly. throwing people under th bus and assuming that he had been duped

he was so caught up in looking for the problem he couldnt see it righth in front of him

because by his perception why would someone manipulating him be kind to him?? why would they encourage him and soothe his fears and inflate his ego?

also him and molyy are such like. a good relationship. writing wise. obviously in game they are terrible for one another but

molly and dutch are similiar to me. in a psychological way. they are easily consumed by the idea of love and being wanted but. molly isnt a conman or a killer like dutch is. and i feel like molly doesnt hide behind the mask as much as dutch does. i think its still there for her. but to a lesser extent. mollys kind and caring nature always struck me as being given much more freely than dutch's. and in such a way it feels more genuine. whereas dutch has the intention but must make it flowery and grand even though hes capable of the smaller goods

ansd the tragedy of the both of them is that all molly wanted to do was help him

she loved him. i dont think dutch loved her the same. dutchs love was quick and dependent completely on how he felt at the moment. dutchs mode was survival and her comfort or him caring for her wasnt top of his priority. i dont think he loved her in the way molly loved him

molly thought she had found true love in him. dutch wanted someone to woo. someone to care about him for the brief amount of time. it was fleeting. and conditional

also dutchs whole deal with the wapiti tribe is the real killer for him morally. the whole point of helping them was to prove a point. and not for the tribes benefit but for himself

sure it was a "distraction" but he gave no plan for it afterwards. he wanted the rush of it. he was hurt and scared and therefore angry. he recognized eagle flies righteous anger and eagerly encouraged him into a death trap and when eagle flies dies. he backtracks. says that it was all according to plan. at that point he's grasping at strings. he's chewing off his own leg to escape the trap and that leg is all he is as a person

he's casting off the ideals and the dreams because he has convinced himself they are obsolete. he has nothing left to lose and to him nobody wants him anymore. and he's violently bitter about it. the way hes so shocked that micah was duping him. the vulnerability of his ignorance in that moment. the realization of his failure in that moment was destroying for him. he did all that for nothing. threw away everything he had known and tied himself into a knot trying to escape the trap he was led into. and then he was forced to reckon with the only leg he has left and the fact that he's bleeding out

but even more fascinating is how adamant he is that he was betrayed. admitting to his failure is too much for him. it would make everything they ever said about him true and he can't handle that. but also the way he runs back to micah for revenge. he cannot let go no matter what. he drags the trap along with him in a spiral of bitterness that quite literally lasts until his dying day

he kills micah for himself. to soothe the failure of killing his son

and then he goes on to create a new gang. with the people he admires. people who are full of righteous anger. it feels as if he's attempting to relive his life through all of this. this time he's not going to fail. this time he won't take any chances

dutch's greatest malady is that he cannot let go. but he also cannot look

he cannot obtain his redemption because he can't face down nor let go of what he's done

he's stuck in limbo fighting for the sake of figthing

he says it himself. all he's ever done is fight and he continues to no matter what. in the littlest of ways like snapping at the hand that wants to help him to killing men by the droves to slay the unseen enemy thats in his mind

it all circles back to the vicious cycle that red dead redemption is meant to be

it's meant to be a cautionary tale. and dutch is the prime example. he doesn't want to look at he what he's done but nonetheless cannot let go

even if he never wanted to continue the cycle he continues it anyways through never facing it

and he would rather throw himself from a cliff rather than seeing it. dutch was tired of fighting. but he never stopped running

[thxrnking]

Which of the Night Children would be the most likely to return to ‘evil’ after being freed, by Night Swan’s definition or their own? Jack because of the guilt he feels? Brezziana or Sara for the addicting rush of power and attention? Wander or Mihaly because of how much of themselves that Night Swan took away and controlled?

As long as the majority remains under Night Swan's control, whoever is freed would be highly susceptible to recorruption due to isolation and the lingering effects of their corruption. But let's say they are all freed from her control and none of them are Night Children anymore. The truth is there's only one of them who could, and ultimately would end up 'evil' again - Jack Rose.

Even with the after-effects of Night Swan's control, the others would have mental defences and likely never be vulnerable like that towards her again, especially when together.

Wanderlust would send Sara home and never allow her back again so she could be safe. Brezziana would channel her increased aggression and guilt towards fighting NS, and Mihaly would seclude themself to work on making their mind a mental fortress and regain control over their own person. And Wanderlust's skewed morals would make him less trusting and more willing to do what it takes to stand against her.

While they would be separate they would have care and support from countless people who worked tirelessly to free them. Their time under her care would leave mental scars that may never quite heal, but at the least they would still be secure.

Jack however has no friends beyond the Just Dancers, and no family other than his Mother. Jack has little to no security, no connections, and definitely no allies otherwise. Post-corruption he'd be landing on much shakier ground than the rest of them. If you then factor in his new need for self-preservation, while Jack wouldn't necessarily re-join his Mother, he would not stay on the side of 'good' very long.

Truthfully I want to write about/examine his lack of roots/connections via the one-shots so this is honestly not as detailed as it could be to avoid spoiling.

[ndayrvd]

9 Common Recruitment Mistakes You Should Avoid

The success of your business significantly hinges on the team that keeps the wheels turning. Employees who are hired by a reputable recruitment agency Northern Beaches can improve the overall function of your organization and contribute to a more harmonious working environment. With that in mind, it's imperative to streamline your hiring practices and avoid common pitfalls that might lead to subpar outcomes.

Use the list below as a guide to avoiding the mistakes people often make when recruiting new hires.

Neglecting Job Descriptions

A critical yet frequently overlooked element of the selection process is the creation of a clear and comprehensive job description. Employers often commit the mistake of hastily writing generic or vague descriptions. This not only attracts unqualified applicants but also wastes precious time due to screening irrelevant applications. Thus, dedicate time to write a job description that comprehensively explains the responsibilities, qualifications required, and expectations of the role.

Not Selling the Position

Attracting top talent is a two-way street. While candidates need to sell their skills and qualifications to you, it’s equally important that you sell the job and your company to them. A mistake some organizations make is focusing solely on what they need from a candidate while neglecting to highlight what makes their company a desirable place to work. Offer insights into the company culture, benefits, and growth opportunities to entice quality applicants.

Over-Reliance on Interviews

While interviews provide valuable insights into a candidate's skills and cultural fit, relying solely on them for decision-making can be misleading. Personal biases, nervousness, or a candidate's ability to present well can skew the perception. It is essential to supplement interviews with skills tests, reference checks, and other objective evaluation methods.

Ignoring Cultural Fit

A candidate's skills and qualifications are undoubtedly essential, but so is their ability to mesh with your existing team. Ignoring cultural fit is a common mistake that can lead to low morale, reduced productivity, and a higher turnover rate. It's crucial to assess how potential hires' values, personalities, and work styles align with your company's ethos.

Poor Communication

Maintaining open and timely communication with candidates throughout the process is critical. Neglecting this aspect can lead to a loss of quality candidates and can damage your reputation as an employer. Regardless of the outcome, provide constructive feedback to applicants, ensuring they have a positive experience that they'll share with their network.

Rushing the Process

In the face of urgent vacancies, it's easy to rush the selection process. However, hastily filling a position often leads to unsuitable hires that could cause issues down the line. Take the time to thoroughly assess each candidate, even if it means a role may remain vacant a little longer.

Overlooking Internal Talent

Often, the perfect candidate for a vacancy could already be working within your ranks. Overlooking the potential of current employees for upward mobility is a mistake. Promoting from within can enhance morale, boost productivity, and show your team that their hard work and loyalty are valued.

Neglecting to Stay Up-to-Date

In our fast-paced world, changes in the job market and trends in hiring practices can be swift. Failing to keep up-to-date with these changes may result in outdated practices, potentially causing you to miss out on excellent candidates. Stay informed about changes in your industry, and continually evaluate and update your strategies as necessary.

Not Using Technology to Your Advantage

In the digital age, technology can significantly streamline and enhance your hiring process. From applicant tracking systems to AI-based screening tools, these resources can save time, improve the accuracy of your assessments, and ensure a smoother process for both you and your candidates. Not leveraging these technological tools is a missed opportunity.

While hiring the right talent can be a challenging task, it's an essential one for the growth and success of any organization. Avoiding these common hiring mistakes contributes to a more streamlined, efficient process that respects the time and effort of both your team and the candidates. It also helps you create a robust and effective hiring process that attracts and retains the best talent, fostering a thriving, productive workforce. The key lies in being thoughtful and strategic, always striving for improvement. After all, your people are your most significant asset, and investing in the right individuals will always yield the best returns.

[thesunmeltedthegrayaway]

Diners and Shiners: Sodapop Curtis x Male!Reader

This is a request! If you would like to make a request take a look at (this post) for all of the characters I am currently writing for.

My Multi-fandom Masterlist

I feel like this the ending is kinda meh... but I like the beginning haha.

The request is for @mack-thedork

~~~ Sodapop Curtis was a dream, a relief I thought I could never find. I was always told to act a certain way, be in a relationship with a certain gender, and be like every other cookie-cutter man. But I knew myself all too well. I knew the things I liked, the things I wanted to make out of my life. They weren't up to society's standards and the skewed moral high ground they had come up with.

And that terrified me at first, not because I would care about what others thought about me. But rather, that I wouldn't find anyone who wanted the same things out of life as I did. I didn't want structure and a set routine. I wanted to live life freely, and get high off of the rush it presented to me.

But then he came around and washed away those worries in a flash. Every standard and wish I had come up with when it came to my significant other was the exact definition of him. He was drunk on life; he had an easy-going philosophy. He'd move in whatever direction life wanted him to go, whether it was difficult or not. It was hard for me not to fall for him. He was like a magnet; one whose pull was so strong the force it exuded could not be ignored. But it wasn't until he reciprocated the feelings I had for him that I fully embraced the pull he had on me. And it was blissful being with someone as understanding and carefree as him.

But of course, there would always be people who would be nosy. People who would think they had the right to comment on things that didn't concern them. I had prepared myself for it long before I had gotten with Soda. So I knew to let things roll down my back, and consider their words to be nothing but air. But Soda, on the other hand, had a bit of a harder time letting comments and stares like that go.

I had to admit though, I never would've expected the usual high-on-life Soda to act like this...

~~~

Soda and I had decided to go out on a double date with Pony and Cherry. In our heads, the idea sounded great, simple. We hadn't really thought something bad would happen. We didn't think that someone would disrupt our evening... because who really does something like that?

But, I guess we should've today.

The group of socs Cherry had hung out with once before were subtle in their jeering at first. The first time I had seen them today they stood across the street staring at the four of us through the window of the diner. Thankfully Pony and Soda didn't notice, but Cherry and I could feel their stares burning holes into us right away. For a bit, that's all I could focus on. With their taunting eyes and mocking smirks, their posture looked confrontational. I began to imagine the things they planned on doing. Maybe they'd try and jump us from behind, or do anything to embarrass the hell out of us. Or...

A hand on my shoulder jolted me out of my thoughts. I jumped slightly, turning my head to look into Soda's concerned eyes.

"You okay over there?" He asked, his tone laced with slight worry.

I couldn't help but smile at his question. It was just an effect he had over me.

"Yeah I'm fine, I just got lost in my head for a second." I wasn't lying technically... I just chose to not delve into my thoughts.

His once slightly frowned lips curved into his usual charming smirk. He draped an arm around my shoulder before pulling me close to him.

"You're always getting lost in that head of yours." He teased before giving me a peck on the forehead.

I looked across the table. Cherry looked at me with slight skepticism. She could see right through my excuse. Her stare made me nervous slightly; the glint in her fiery eyes could intimidate anyone.

"Why don't we head out to the Drive-in now, the sun looks like it's going to set real soon," Cherry spoke up concisely.

"Yeah, we should get goin'." I added.

Soda and Pony looked at us curiously but didn't object to our idea, thankfully. I had hopes that the socs across the way would mind their business. But this was Tusla, that hope I had was something I knew was never going to happen...

~~~ They followed us like I knew they would. But they surprisingly kept their distance when we got to the drive-in at first. But their subtlety didn't last long; they made their presence known not too long after the movie had started. They acted childishly at first, throwing popcorn and empty pop cups at Soda and I. But it wasn't too much of a bother. Well, to me at least, no matter how calm Soda usually is I could tell his collected state was slowly chipping away.

"Someone's asking to get their head ripped off." Soda muttered bitterly.

I flinched as I felt another piece of popcorn hit my head before I could speak. My annoyance was slowly growing at the childish antics the other socs were doing.

"Just try to ignore them, getting into a fight with them isn't worth it." I reply quietly, my hand reaching over to grasp his in hopes of calming him down.

"It might be worth it." Soda grumbled grumpily, his hand now squeezing mine a bit too tightly.

"Yeah, it might be worth it in the moment. But then you get this aftermath called hurricane Darry." I deadpan making Soda laugh.

"Yeah laugh it up now but don't say I didn't warn you when Darry locks you up in the house. The only way you'll be able to talk to me is through the screendoor." I joke.

Soda went to say something, but his sentence faltered as soon as another piece of popcorn hit his head. Any composure he had seemed to have crumbled away at that moment. He stood up with vigor, his eyes shot daggers at the group of socs behind us.

"Can you get lost already?" He snapped.

Well, so much for pretending like they didn't exsist.

They merely laugh at his anger clearly not taking him seriously. "Can you two stop being freaks of nature already?" One shouted trying to mimic Soda's tone from earlier.

I turned my head to eye them myself, my eyes deadly in their stare. "You're abhorrent." I spat out now standing up next to Soda.

The socs raised themselves up from their seats. A few shouts of protest could be heard from the people sitting behind us. I had a feeling this night wasn't going to have such a smooth ending.

"Oh just leave them alone, do you guys really have nothing better to do?" Cherry asked in a sharp tone now standing next to us.

"Don't you have better people you could be hanging out with? I will never understand why you hang out with these scum." Another one sneered.

"The only scum I'm lookin' at is standing right in front of me." She answered back with ease.

It always shocked me how easily Cherry could stand up to the people she once called her friends now. I still remember the beginning of her relationship with Pony. She didn't even utter a word when they began to taunt them. I was glad she eventually found her voice as time went on.

"Look just buzz off, okay? I don't think you want to end your night being humiliated," I say tensely.

"Who's going to humiliate us?" One of the socs says looking around the packed drive-in. He then points back at us with a faux stunned look on his face. "Wait is it you guys?"

"No shit," I answer back bluntly.

"Oh okay." The soc replies back nonchalantly. He looks around the drive-in again. Then suddenly a force hit me right in the chest making me fall down to the ground unceremoniously. The next few seconds honestly felt like a blur. One second I was on the ground and then the next I see Soda swinging as hard as he could at the soc's face. The soc held his jaw, it began to bruise almost immediately due to the strike. But he recovered quickly throwing a punch of his own.

"No no no." I rushed out as they began to break out into a fight. I grabbed at Soda attempting to pull him back. But it was kinda hard to do that when his friends jumped in. Ponyboy had been so quiet the whole night I had almost forgotten he was there. He too jumped in trying to separate the quickly escalating fight.

"That's it break it up!" A new voice shouted, my eyes followed the direction of the voice. It was one of the cops that stood at the entrance of the drive-in. They never really did their job very well, all they'd do was stand there and "make sure" no one drove home drunk. In reality, all they would really do is stare into your window for a few seconds before sending you on their way. Maybe they would do their job this time, and diffuse the situation.

That was a funny thought... it really was.

~~~ Having our night end with Sodapop in cuffs was not the way I wanted things to go. Out of everyone in the gang, Soda was the last person I would ever think to see getting hauled off to the cooler. But, I was living in that reality now. What made that said reality even worse was that one of us would have to tell Darry what happened.

Cherry had dropped us off at Pony's house before speeding off. Which was a smart decision on her part... I wouldn't want to be around to see our conversation unfold either. Ponyboy and I just stood at the front of their chain-linked contemplating what we were going to do.

"Look why don't you just climb through your bedroom window and hide while I run home for the night?" I say only half-joking. Ponyboy just gave me an unamused look before pretty much dragging me to the house. When we got in Darry was sitting in his armchair reading a newspaper. He was surprisingly the only one here so he was probably enjoying the rare moment of silence.

"Hey, you guys are back early." Darry greeted as soon as he looked up from the newspaper his expression twisted into confusion. "Where's Soda?"

He was met with complete silence at first, Pony and I stared nervously at one another.

"What's wrong with you two, you're acting like he got arrested or somethin'," Darry said with a laugh but his laughter died down slowly when we didn't respond again.

I looked over a Pony with a broken smile. "So, are you going to tell him, or should I?"

"You can go ahead," Ponyboy replied without hesitation as he sat down on the couch.

I turned back over to Darry whose face had completely lost any ounce of humor it once had.

"You're a really good guesser Dar," I say with a nervous laugh. "And I really hope you have bail money."

"What the hell did he do!?" Darry asked shooting up from his armchair as he spoke.

"He may or may not have gotten into a fight with a soc."

Darry was growing more and more irritated by the minute. He looked as though he didn't know how to function or how to react. "Oh for the love of-"

"But he didn't start it!" I added quickly.

Darry went to speak but he suddenly got tongue-tied and stammered for a bit before just giving up on talking and stalking off to his room. The house vibrated slightly as he slammed the door. I stood there awkwardly for a moment basking in the silence in the room.

"I think he took that well..."

~~~ Darry still seemed pretty pissed off the next morning. Any room or space he entered suddenly filled with tension. He hadn't uttered a single word today, which was rare for him. He must've been really mad if he couldn't even think of something to say still. I could feel the apprehension fill me as we made our way down to the police station. I didn't know if they'd buy our story or have an automatic bias when it came to us. Because let's face it, the socs will almost always have law enforcement on their side.

When Pony, Darry, and I walked into the jail an officer working there greeted us plainly.

"What can I help you with?" He asked half-heartily.

Darry cleared before speaking. "I'm here to post bail on Sodapop Curtis. He uh... got into an altercation last night."

The officer's face went from uninterested to smug in a matter of seconds. "Oh, he's the one who attacked that group of boys last night."

I guess those socs told a pretty inflated story...

"Umm, officer, I don't mean to be disrespectful here but he didn't just attack them. He was defending himself and me." I interject trying to stay composed.

"That's not what I heard last night sir." The officer answered back with a tinge of attitude.

"Well are the group of boys who accused Sodapop of this "attack" still here?"

"Of course not."

I gave Darry a fed-up look, he returned it with one of his own almost immediately.

"Officer, those group of boys had been harassing us all day yesterday. They were following us, throwing things at us, and then at the movies, they ended up shoving me down to the ground. Soda just defended me." I explained, the officer gave me a skeptical look.

"Really?" He asked, his eyebrow raised in suspicion.

"I have no reason to lie, sir. I couldn't tell you a single one of those boys' names not one of them." I admit as cooly as I could.

The officer's attention shifted from me to Ponyboy who seemed pretty nervous at the situation that was unfolding.

"Be honest kid, is he tellin' the truth?" The officer interrogated.

Ponyboy nodded almost immediately before speaking. "Yes sir, they started it, Soda just defended him when things got physical." Pony explained.

The officer sighed and just stared at us for a minute. He then got up suddenly and walked away without saying anything to us.

"I think he really likes us." I joke meekly.

"Sure he does," Darry replied, a small smirk threatened to expose itself on his lips.

~~~

I didn't really know how long we were waiting around in the police station. Nothing around me gave me a sure indicator of how much time had gone by. All I could really do was stand there in complete boredom not really knowing what was going on. But those feelings of boredom and uncertainty washed away once I saw Soda walking behind the officer. Soda seemed both relieved yet worried at the same time when he saw us.

"I'm lettin' you off the hook this one time Curtis. But if you pull a stunt like that again don't expect me to be so forgiving the next time around." The officer said gruffly.

Soda simply nodded in response before walking over to us.

I greeted him with a soft smile, it was tempting to pull him in for a kiss. But that wouldn't exactly go down very well in a police station. As soon as Darry finished signing Soda's release form we quickly left the police station.

"Not going to lie Soda, I was fully expecting our next conversation to take place with bars separating us." I joke before giving him a peck on his cheek. I wrapped an arm around his shoulder as we walked to Darry's truck.

Soda began to pepper my face with kissing making me giggle. "I missed you darlin'," He spoke in a lovesick tone between kisses.

"Well," Darry spoke up making us pull apart slightly. "You're gonna be missin' him a lot more. All you're going to be doing for the next 2 weeks is work and then you're coming right back to the house little brother."

"I told you he'd lock you inside the house," I said with a laugh once I saw how disappointed Soda looked.

"I gotta start listening to you more." Soda admitted glumly as we all got inside the truck.

"Yeah, you should," I replied teasingly.

As Darry began to drive back to the house I leaned my head on Soda's shoulder. He looked down at me fondly smiles curved our lips without us even realizing it. The feelings of content and happiness was all I could really focus on now.

Life with Soda is always a bit chaotic in some way, but I wouldn't change that in any way.

[kookingtae]

falling into you (pt. 8) PREVIEW

pt 1 | pt 2 | pt 3 | pt 4 | pt 5 | pt 6 | pt 7

→scenario: Jungkook’s innocence is like a breath of fresh air in your wild life, and though you know you’re toxic for him, you just can’t seem to stay away.

→genre: college au, slow burn, mutual pining, shy/nerd jk + bad girl oc (mature themes)

→a/n: so i’m not finished with pt 8 yet, since it’s such a climactic chapter it’s taking a bit longer than i anticipated unfortunately BUT i dont want u guys to think ive forgotten about it!!! i know u all are waiting so patiently, and i cannot thank you enough from the bottom of my heart <3 i hope this preview keeps you excited for what’s to come!

Jungkook could never face Y/N again.

God, how could he, knowing that he’d not only finished in five minutes like a pubescent teenager, but also in his pants while she was on top of him?

Embarrassment didn’t even begin to describe the mortification he felt. He’d never wanted the earth to swallow him whole as much as he did in that moment. Sure, he was aware of his slight social anxiety, the way he was constantly looking to bolt from uncomfortable situations—but this was different entirely. This was new territory for him; he’d never done anything remotely sexual with someone else, period, much less with the girl who hung the stars, moon, and sun in his eyes. What was he supposed to do? There was nowhere to escape to in his own bedroom, no running away from his problems that made him uncomfortable. No, he had to stand there with his head down and his crotch dripping wet while he practically begged her to leave. He had never been so ashamed of himself. He had never felt so pathetic.

But then Y/N surprised him like she never failed to do: she’d given him reassurance, another kiss even, while telling him that she actually enjoyed the experience—went so far as to say it was the best in her life. Now he knew she was lying to spare his feelings. Of all the men Y/N had been with, there was no way a virgin cumming untouched in his pants was the best of them. She was cruel to make him believe otherwise, to give him false hope.

He wouldn’t allow himself to think any differently. He couldn’t allow himself to get hurt.

Which was why he made it his mission to avoid her at all costs—something he’d gotten very good at over the past few months, and the past few weeks, specifically.

But in the same way he’d learned from the patterns of her daily routine and used them as a means to remain hidden, she’d also learned his and utilized them to her advantage as well. It was the only explanation as to how he was turning a corner inside the art building (about to take the rear exit, since she usually waited for him out front) and suddenly she was standing right in front of him.

He instantly skidded to a halt, heart rate shooting to astronomical levels and eyes widening on their own accord. “Y-Y/N,” he stuttered out involuntarily, the sight of her causing every single detail of their time spent together to come rushing back to him like a tidal wave ready to wipe him out.

As if he needed another excuse to think about the moment they shared that had changed him forever, about the way her moans sounded in his ear and her body felt on his lap and the way she touched his cheek, his neck, the way her lips felt on his skin, god help him—

Already he could feel the beginnings of a blush start to rise to his suddenly hot cheeks, and he cleared his throat and shifted his weight from one foot to the other to keep from springing yet another boner in front of her.

He slid his books in front of his waist, just in case.

While she usually approached him with the natural ease of self-confidence and charm, today she seemed worried, unsure. She chewed at her lower lip—something he didn’t think she really ever did, as he would certainly remember the way it stirred within him—and looked up at him beneath delicate lashes that framed her eyes.

He didn’t have it in him to keep from outright staring at her beauty.

“I… I missed you,” she finally murmured, and he felt the breath physically whoosh from his lungs to join his butterfly-filled stomach all the way at the floor.

It had been a few days since he’d last seen her, since she’d been in his room that night where they opened up about their past and confessed how they truly felt about one another and shared the most life-altering moment he’d ever experienced. He missed her too, god he missed her. He missed everything about her the moment she left his side—would picture her face in his mind as soon as she left his field of vision. But for some reason unknown to him, she was too kind to him, spared his feelings despite knowing what little experience he had. There was no way he’d be able to satisfy a girl—mentally, physically, emotionally—who could have anyone she wanted. Perhaps she pitied him. Either way, if she wouldn’t put a stop to it, then he would.

Or so he’d try, but alas, nothing ever went according to his plans where Y/N was concerned. And here she was, three simple words mumbled into existence and he couldn’t even remember his own name, much less why he’d been trying to fight this.

She seemed to expect he would say nothing—either that or she’d grown used to his silence—because before he had enough sense in him to even think about responding, she was speaking again. “How have you been?”

The question was asked with deliberate, genuine curiosity and concern; she really wanted to know if he was okay, how he was handling things after what had transpired between them. And no matter how hard Jungkook tried to fight this, fight her, fight himself, he was only human.

And so he stopped fighting.

“I– I missed you too,” he breathed out, and it was like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders and relocated to his gut. He tensed at his confession, mentally berated himself for his words even though she’d been the one to say them first. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, what with the way his throat locked up.

Though the second he witnessed the smile that sprang to her tantalizing lips, he felt as light as a feather floating in the breeze.

“You did?” Her eyes lit up, sparkled under the fluorescent hallway lights that still managed to capture all of her beauty despite the unflattering lighting. He didn’t think it was possible for any scenery, not even that of a dull and stuffy university building, to make her appear any less breathtaking than she always was.

“I was so worried after I left last week,” she continued without prompt. The mention of his premature finish had him stiffening in dread, though she didn’t let enough silence fester between her words for the anxiety to claw its way up his throat. “I didn’t want you to beat yourself up. I’ve noticed you tend to be too hard on yourself sometimes.” She glanced up at him with the hint of a sheepish grin dancing on her lips.

Her expression said it all: that’s an understatement.

And this shocked him to his core, because she was absolutely right.

Just how well had she gotten to know him in their time spent together over the last few months? And how? And why?

The last question would always boggle him until the end of time; he would never understand why she was interested in him. Why was he the one she had feelings for, when she claimed she never had feelings for anybody? Though he supposed he could ask himself the same thing: why did he feel things for Y/N that he had never felt for anyone else in his life? And the answer was quite simple, really: because it was her.

He didn’t know what about himself was so special to make him stand out in her mind, and as a result he still couldn’t help but be skeptical, even after her confession. But it wasn’t like he had any choice in the matter on what to do with that skepticism—not when his heart kept leading him back to her.

At some point after her accurate description of the inner turmoil that’s been plaguing his mind, his mouth had fallen open slightly. He couldn’t hide the surprise from his face even if he tried; he was speechless.

Y/N gazed up at him, not seeming in any hurry to rush the conversation along, and for that he was grateful. He’d never met somebody so patient and understanding before—just another reason to make Jungkook’s heart flutter with endearment. And it was no secret to himself anymore that he yearned to be in Y/N’s presence for as long as possible whether he was aware of it or not.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed, you know,” she continued as if she could read his mind, and that was when he realized the way his eyes avoided hers and the fact that his skin was the color of tomatoes must’ve been dead giveaways. “I meant it when I said that was the hottest thing I’ve ever experienced.”

Jungkook balked, practically choking on his spit at her forward, shameless words. He didn’t think he’d ever get used to the way she spoke her mind so openly without any fear holding her back. She’d gone through so much in her childhood, in her life—Jungkook not even knowing the half of it, he’s sure—and yet she was still so strong and brave and everything he wasn’t. He couldn’t help but admire the person she was today, despite all the prejudice and judgment he’d held for her when they first met.

He realized now that he was too quick to judge her, to write her off based on rumors and first impressions. He realized now that he was too quick to do that to a lot of people. Just how long had he closed himself off from others based on his skewed, morally righteous perspective? His whole life, if he had to say.

The epiphany that she was physically prying open his third eye with a crowbar, that he was now self aware and changing for the better for her—for himself—hit him all at once.

It was the most frightening sensation of his life, the introvert in him wanting to crawl back into his shell where it was safe and comfortable and dull. But deep down he knew it was also for the best.

“W-why?” He heard himself asking before he knew what he was doing. “Why do you keep saying that?”

He had to know why she insisted on standing by her statement that his mishap was not only hot, but the hottest ever. Why did she insist on lying to him, on giving him false hope? She spoke her mind in every other situation, or at least that’s what he assumed; why did she insist on sparing his feelings in this incident? Was he really that pathetic? Did she pity him that much?

She simply blinked at him once, twice, before: “Because I really like you, Jungkook.”

As if in slow motion, you could visibly see his eyes expand to the size of saucers at your words.

You would’ve found the sight comical had the situation been any different. But the way he continued to disbelieve that you could have feelings for him, that you could be attracted to everything about him despite who he was, despite his inexperience—it made your heart break in your chest. You now knew from where this inferiority complex stemmed—he’d told you himself about his family situation—and if anything, it made you want to rebuild his confidence that much more. He needed to see himself the way you saw him.

But you also didn’t want to overwhelm him, either. And you were more than willing to walk that fine line with Jungkook no matter how long it took.

“So are we on for a study sesh tonight?” You continued nonchalantly, wanting to return things to normalcy for him as much as possible before he ran away mid-conversation as he’d done so many times before. You wanted to ease his self-doubt so he’d stop avoiding you—like he’d been doing the past few days—as much as possible.

Jungkook blinked as if trying to adjust from the whiplash of your subject-change. “U–uh… if you want?”

“Of course I want to,” you replied without missing a beat, not caring how desperate you seemed so long as he didn’t question where you stood. You took a step forward, unable to help the intangible, magnetic draw you felt to him as you gazed up at him beneath your lashes. “That is… if you want to.”

You watched in agony as a gulp slowly raked its way down his throat.

“I–” his voice was hoarse before he cleared his throat. “I uh, can’t tonight. I have to study for math.”

You weren’t even sure how one studied for math, but you weren’t about to question the expert. “That’s fine! We could… do it tomorrow?”

Jungkook chewed at his bottom lip, an action he always did when he was internally struggling with something before he finally nodded his head yes in a slow, hesitant manner. “N–not in my room though,” he added as an afterthought, and when your gaze snapped to his he had a pleading expression in his eyes.

A mix of emotions rolled through you. On one hand, you were horrified at the possibility that he thought the only reason you wanted to study again was so that you could get in his pants. Which—okay, you’re not going to lie, you would love to have a repeat of last week—but that definitely wasn’t why you wanted to see him. He meant more to you than just a means to get off, which was what you’d thought of flings in the past. You didn’t want him to be just a fling, though.

You didn’t want to think of the meaning behind that fact right now, either.

But on another hand, you understood where Jungkook was coming from. Maybe it was because you’d studied him enough over the past few months to learn some of his behavior (for once you finally saw the appeal of studying), so you knew that level of intimacy was probably extremely overwhelming for Jungkook and he needed a moment to step back. Hell, it was even overwhelming for you, and that was saying something. Never had your senses, your heart, your body, your soul been attacked like that with such an abundance of emotional pleasure, and you hoped with all your might that Jungkook was feeling the same—that that was the reason he needed a breather from being alone with you, and not the fact that he just didn’t want to be intimate with you.

Unless…

Oh god, had you misread the situation entirely? Had Jungkook hated everything about that night?

Suddenly you were feeling sick to your stomach. The thought of you misunderstanding his confession—or worse, him changing his mind completely—made you want to escape to a dark and desolate stairwell and cry in the hidden nooks of the windowsill again; the irony that not only would you be pulling a Jungkook by escaping mid-conversation, but that the stairwell was also the place the two of you had your first real conversation, wasn’t lost on you.

“M–my roommate is staying in, studying for finals.” The sound of Jungkook’s voice was like a breath of fresh air whooshing into your lungs after almost drowning underwater. You blinked out of your inner turmoil, focusing on him. “So he’ll be there, i–in my room, this whole week.”

And suddenly your heart was warming with relief, hope, appreciation, like flowers blooming in the spring after a torrential downpour. Just when you thought you had him figured out, this enigma of a boy continued to surprise you. It was usually easy for you to hide your emotions—you’d been doing so for years, always wore a mask around others so that they couldn’t see the real you—and yet somehow, Jungkook must’ve sensed them anyway. He sensed the doubt, the pain, the fear that you vowed never to cage you crawling up your throat and threatening to consume you whole, and he eased it. He didn’t want you to misunderstand him. He wanted to reassure you.

If anything, that was just a testament to how Jungkook had broken down your walls—how much you had let him in, how well he was able to read the emotions you wanted to keep hidden. Your mask had begun to break, the real you showing through the cracks, and Jungkook was still standing here. He hadn’t run away.

You fought the urge to grab him and slam your lips onto his.

“Not in your room, then,” is all you managed to breathe out beneath a fluttering smile.

[everlarkficexchange]

Magic as Always

Written by: @alliswell21

Prompt 71: Magic of Ordinary Days AU: 1940s, Katniss is a single pregnant girl. Desperate for her daughter not to have a child out of wedlock, Mrs Everdeen contacts a priest who in turn knows a young man who just may be willing to help. Sweet, kind and shy Peeta stayed home to take care of the family farm when his beloved brother went to war to never come back. He’s always wanted a family but rural small town life gives little chance to court. He hears of Katniss’ plight and graciously offers to marry her and raise the child as his own. He does everything he can think of to make a home for Katniss and the baby. How does Katniss take it? How does their relationship develop? Will they fall in love? [submitted by anonymous]

Rating: this chapter is rated Teens and Up  

Tags: Historical!AU; WWII; 1940’s Era views on marriage, sexism, pregnancy, etc; Katniss/Marvel relationship; Non-graphic Unprotected Sex; Unplanned Pregnancy; Arrange Marriage; Miscellaneous Religious views; Grief/Mourning; Canon Characters Death; OOC!Mrs.Everdeen; Somewhat OOC!Katniss; Everlark is Endgame; Other tags to be added.

Notes: Thank you Anon for this prompt. I must confess, I’ve never seen the movie ‘The Magic of Ordinary Days’ or read the book the movie is based on. I did a quick skimming on the plot of the movie and then dug up all kinds of reviews on the book, most of my plot points come from a combination of movie and book (which apparently differ only in a few parts), besides what the prompter asked for. I just really loved this prompt, and see the potential of this story, which will be a few chapters long, cross posted to AO3 and I already have a good chunk written ;) The rating will be adjusted too, because there will be explicit Everlark smut in the following chapters. Anon, I hope I don’t disappoint you, this story will be only loosely based on the source material, and adapted to fit THG characters in the narrative, I will try to stick to the main plot points as much as I can, but I’m also taking several liberties with the story. I hope you still like it though. 

KPKPKPKPKPKPKPKP

Prim died on a Tuesday, after a very long, strenuous battle with poliomyelitis. My sweet little sister’s face looked as fresh as a dew drop even in death. 

  “Come now, Katniss,” my mother calls from the open door of the mortuary hall, where visitation took place an hour ago. 

  The mortician has arranged for the coffin to be taken to the cemetery and put in the ground this afternoon. There will be no graveside mourning. It’s all we could pay for, but then again the war has left everyone penniless nowadays.

  A big, rotund man comes to close the coffin, and offers a curt nod. 

  That’s it then. The very last time I’ll ever set eyes on Primrose’s sweet face. 

  “Katniss,” Mother whispers, insistently. It’s probably all she can muster before breaking down in tears.

  I look on at the box my sister’s body lies in, numb and heartsick. I bring my 3 middle fingers to my lips and then rise them in the air. My last salute to my beloved Little Duck. I step away from the coffin and shuffle towards mother. 

  Up close, I can see the deep, dark bruises under my mother’s eyes. She used to be beautiful in her youth— according to friends and old photographs— but now she just looks tired and defeated. I guess having to bury first her husband and then her 15 year old daughter, in less than a year, would have that effect on anyone.

  Prim would’ve looked like our mother, with their soft blonde locks, almond shaped blue eyes and alabaster skin. She had a softer spirit though, she enjoyed music and loved animals. She always said that if she was older, she would’ve joined the Red Cross and signed up to serve as a nurse to our boys in the Pacific, like Father did… Father wasn’t a nurse though, he was a chaplain. 

  It’s funny to think that I inherited so much of my father, like my dark hair, gray eyes and olive skin. We both also share the same aversion to human pain and blood that moves my mother and Prim to action; but unlike Prim, my father’s calling to help the soldiers in their worst situations, passed me and went directly to my baby sister. 

  I sigh… Prim would’ve made a terrific army nurse, if only she hadn’t wasted in bed with that odious disease! If she had been given the chance to live, I’m sure Prim would’ve had so many boys trailing after her. She would marry at some point and have a beautiful full life. 

  I don’t plan on marrying and having a family. If the acute pain in my own chest wasn’t enough warning,  watching my mother walk silently from the funeral home to our apartment, with her head bowed and listening to her quiet sobs at night would be enough evidence that there’s too much sorrow in losing one’s husband and children. 

  I think my efforts will be better spent in cultivating my mind, and getting my degree in botany, like my father always dreamed, anyway… plus, I’m not much of a looker… not like Prim at any rate. 

  We finally arrived at our modest home. Mother drifts ghost-like into the door, and then we both shuffle quietly into our separate bedrooms. There won’t be a meal at the table tonight, but I make sure Prim’s old tomcat gets fed and watered, and after he meows in distress at my sister’s door, I open mine, and let him strut inside my bedroom and hop into my bed. The hideous fur ball and I distrust each other, but he understands his mistress is never coming back, and he’s the last thing I have from her… so he lets me pet him and he cuddles close to my chest as I fall asleep, crying. 

——————————-

Mother and I walk slowly through the busy streets of town, mostly ignoring the bustle and disarray around us. People shout, cars honk horns, a baby cries in the distance, and the few young men rush back and forth in the busy sidewalks, like they’re being lashed by invisible whips.

  “We should stop by the grocer and see if we can pick up some eggs.” Says my mother, pulling her “Sugar Book” out of her handbag. 

  Because of the war, everything is being rationed, from sugar to shoes.

  I could care less about food and clothing, though. But I still go into the shop, dutifully. 

  I’m so immersed in my own thoughts, I don’t see the lanky man walking towards me with his arms full of vittles. 

  We collide. The man’s groceries fly up in every direction, raining over me, as I sit on my rump on the floor. 

  My mother is nowhere to be seen. Typical.

  “I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you there!” Says the man, pulling a packet of oatmeal from the floor, while extending his other hand to help me up. 

  “No… it’s alright, I wasn’t looking where I was going.”

  “Well, let’s agree that we’re both klutzes, and leave it at that?” The man offers.

  I’m on my feet, dusting my skirt off and righting my blouse, “Sure, let’s do that.” I scowl at the skew state of my clothes and finally look up at the man. 

  He’s smiling down at me, and I must admit, his smile is dazzling. He’s got short brown hair, greenish-brown eyes, and a smattering of freckles over his nose. He also towers above me. 

  “My stars! If it isn’t Katniss Everdeen!” The young man says, unexpectedly excited.

  I blink owlishly at him, and try to place his face, but I’m horrible at remembering people. Or their names. 

  “Marvel Quaid,” he offers genially, unfazed by my lack of response, “we went to grade school together?” He prompts, “My pa used to sell luxury goods in District One?”

  “Oh, I think it’s coming back now,” I say smiling for the first time in what feels like months. “You used to throw sticks, pretending they were spears or something,” I tell him, showing that indeed, I do remember him.

  Marvel scrunches his nose, “Javelins, actually. I was pretending I threw javelins. I saw a fellow doing it for the Olympics in a film, and then he won a medal for it. I thought to myself that making a victory lap with the good old American flag flapping after oneself looked like fun; well, I wanted to be a victor too!” He chuckles, then deflates. “But as everything, those dreams are gone now, crushed to dust under the weight of the war.”

  As is the norm, once the war gets brought up, gloominess settles on, dampening the cheeriest of spirits.

  “I’m sorry,” I say. “I’m all too familiar with the sentiment.”

  Marvel nods, grimly. 

  “We lost Father in France.” I’m not sure why I said it. “We put my sister in the ground last week, too.” I avert my eyes. 

  “Aww, geez, Kit… that’s truly awful. I’m so sorry for your loss,”

  I’m mildly surprised I don’t immediately recoil at his little pet name. I guess the fact that he doesn’t sound condescending while delivering his condolences, helps. 

  “Oh, well, as my father would’ve said, at least their toils in this world are over. They can finally rest in peace.”

  After a moment of heavy silence, Marvel shares, “I’m being shipped out tomorrow morning.”

  I scowl, “Oh,” I bite the inside of my cheek, wondering how he’d manage to evade the draft for this long? Marvel is my age, 19 going on 20… boys get sent to the front lines at 18. “I… I could write to you… if you wanted?” I offer shyly. 

  Isn’t that what young women are being told to do, in order to keep our boys’ morale from plummeting?  

  Marvel grins, showing slightly crooked teeth, “That would be swell, Kit!” He stares at me for a long moment, then sighs, “I should go back to my shopping, before they miss me at home. Lord knows when will I have the chance of doing something as mundane as picking up my mother’s weekly grocery allowance.”

  These days it is not only uncommon seeing men doing grocery runs, but simply seeing young, able-body men around, period. All of our boys are either in Europe or the Pacific, fighting to keep the devastation of the World war from reaching our shores.

  “Well, for what is worth, I hope you get to return home safely… you know, so you can do all the boring tasks your mother tells you to do. And when I say safe, I mean, I hope you don’t run anymore into spaced out girls, like me,” I smirk. 

  “Oh, Kit, if only you knew how much I’ve enjoyed our accidental skirmish. It’s like a gift from above, seeing you after all these years. Your smile and the color of your eyes will forever be branded in my mind, to give me a reason to fight. To have a dream,”

  I’m momentarily floored by Marvel’s florid little speech. Nobody has ever said anything nearly as sweet and gallant as that to me, and for a moment, I forget all about my dead sister and father, the war, and my own sorrow. 

  I avert my eyes, bashfully, as he finishes picking up his vittles off the floor.

  “That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me,” I lean over to pick up a can of milk, and put it on top of his pile. 

  “I only speak the truth,” he smiles brightly. 

  My mother chooses to interrupt at the exact moment I bat my lashes at him, “Katniss, there you are! I’ve been waiting for you by the counter.” She shakes her head. 

  Marvel wobbles on his feet, rearranging his load, and then greets my mother, warmly, “Mrs. Everdeen, how nice to see you again,” 

  My mother eyes him, unimpressed. “Good afternoon, young man,” she answers. 

  “Ma’am… pardon my forwardness, but, would it be too troublesome to ask Miss Katniss to accompany a soldier about to be shipped out, to supper in the town?” 

  My mother narrows her eyes, distrust dripping from her voice as she speaks, “I’m not so sure that’s a good idea. My daughter and I are in mourning, you see,”

  “Oh, this won’t be an untoward celebration of any kind, ma’am. With the war raging on, we’re all in mourning. All I ask for is one last night of normalcy, a chance to reconnect with an old grade-school mate,” he smiles, hopefully, “For old times sake?” 

  I’m watching my mother’s face closely, with bated breath.

  “Very well,” Mother sighs, “You may ask Katniss out to dinner. But have her home by 9 sharp!”  

  I don’t hesitate to step up and give him directions to my apartment building in District 12. 

  I spend the rest of my day giddy and nervous, pressing my best Sunday suit, the gray one with the matching jacket, and polishing my only pair of leather shoes. There isn’t much I can do about my hair… the thing can’t be fashioned into the favored waves, not even putting it in curlers overnight, so I let it be. 

  I briefly wonder if this was all Prim’s doing? Meeting Marvel and mother’s somewhat easy aquiciscent. Prim hated seeing me sad, and constantly talked about how she’d love to help me get ready for dates with a beau. She couldn’t wait to be of courting age and date a strapping, young man herself… but of course, that would never happen for her, but she would probably still want to see me have those things. 

  Maybe Marvel is right, and our serendipitous encounter is a gift from above, to heal our wounds… at least for the night. 

  ————————-

  Marvel arrives at my house in his father’s car at 5:45. Riding is now such a luxury, with gasoline being rationed and all. He takes me to a quaint little dinner in the middle of town. We share malts, a greasy burger, and a small portion of fries and onion rings. 

  We talk about baseball:

  “You’d look good in a baseball uniform, Kit! Can you still run as fast as you did in school?” 

  I laugh. “I’m not much for sports,” I demure, “but I’ve heard playing in one of the new teams pays alright. Anyway, I’m gonna be starting my second year of college soon. I put my studies on hold while Prim was at her worst, but now that it’s only just me and mother… I’m anxious to go back to study.”

  “Wow, beautiful and smart!”

  We talk about cars:

  “I loved driving… but Mother sold our car when my sister took a turn for the worse. She didn’t want to at first, saying that Father saved up to buy it, and it held sentimental value to her, but I had to push to sell it. We needed the money and gas was a nightmare to come by, anyway,”

  “The only reason we still have ours,” says Marvel, “is because Pa is too stubborn to let go of the things that still made him feel wealthy.” He scowls, “He’s trying to get into the ice business now, since it’s pretty much the only thing one where the raw material is plenty and relatively cheap, and there’s guarantee that people will buy the product… everyone still needs ice for their ice boxes, right?” 

  No one can afford luxuries anymore with every penny going out to support our boys in the battlefields.

  We talk about many other subjects: his sister’s wedding; my father’s unit getting pinned and killed by Germans… We didn’t get a body to bury, but I got a medal on his behalf as his eldest child. 

  Marvel lets me sniffle against his chest, and then kisses my lips slowly. 

  I’ve never been kissed on the lips, and I feel my face heat up. 

  “Would you… like to take a drive with me, Kit?”

  We drive all the way to the city limit. It’s exhilarating to be in a car again, and sitting at the overlook, at twilight,  alone with a handsome boy, feels positively forbidden! 

  I’ve never done anything remotely injudicious all my life, and this whole moment feels… magical… exciting! 

  Tentatively, I initiated our next kiss, but he takes over in a rush of caresses and flitting touches. 

  “Beautiful, graceful, Kit. You have no match!”

  “Marvel…” I kiss him again, not knowing how to answer his sentiments with words.

  His hands are restless, groping my shoulders and elbows. “I wished he had more time! I would’ve loved to marry you before departing. I would’ve show you so much passion and love!”

  “You still can show me, Marvel… you absolutely can!” 

  It’s all the permission he needs to dive into a frenzy. He doesn’t stop until the deed is done, and we’re a sweaty, tangled mess of limbs in the back seat of the car, only partially clothed. 

  A deep feeling of lethargy pours over me. My muscles are sore and heavy, and wished I could fall asleep in here. 

  “I intend on coming back to marry you, Katniss,” Marvel says, stretching his lanky, long legs to zip up his pants. 

  I sit up and start finger-combing my ruined hair, hoping my mother won’t notice the strands are extra frizzy. “Um… I guess we should after this,” I say shyly, gesturing between us. 

  “You could still go to college while I’m away,” he offers with magnanimity.

  “You… wouldn’t mind that?” I ask incredulous, college women are so rare, unless they’re trying to become nurses or teachers. Most girls start courting right after high school and get married in the span of one to two years, and their husbands don’t normally encourage an education beyond what their wives came into the marriage with; so to hear Marvel say that wouldn’t mi d me stay in college is just about the greatest thing possible!

  “My darling, Kit, I don’t want you to be one of those girls pining and wasting away for her beau. I’ll be busy at war, it’ll be unfair to keep you from occupying your own time while you wait fir my return. Go to college, my clever girl!”

  I smile indulgently at him, leaning closer to slip his necktie around the collar of his shirt, “You are truly a generous, loving man,” I say.

  Marvel beams, circling my waist with his arms pulling me against his body. “It’s all inspired by you, sugar plum!”

  I giggle, kissing his cheek, “I’ll write to you every day!” I promise. 

  “That’s nice… but just so you know, I might not be able to write back right away. It’ll be a while before I get settled enough to write. But you’ll be in my thoughts every minute of every day, and that’s the honest truth! I’m serious about marrying you when I return, Kit,” he kisses me again. And then, he looks at his watch, sighing. “It’s 8:32. We should get on going, gotta keep in my future mother-in-law’s good graces!” 

  We share a carefree laugh, and finish tidying ourselves up to drive back to my house. 

  He walks me to the door, takes me in his arms, and kisses me passionately before promising he’d be back to officially ask for my hand in marriage, and for my part, I swear I’ll write to him every day until he returns home safe and sound. 

  But neither of us keeps our promises in the end, although I tried. 

  ————————-

  Three weeks go by and I keep my word of writing daily letters. I receive no word in return from Marvel, but think nothing of it… Europe is far and traveling by sea is tedious and time consuming; Marvel will get in touch once he’s settled down. 

  Another week goes by, still without news from my would-be fiancé. I still don’t worry. I’ve been busy with university, and the few other girls attending school with me keep me busy, but my heavier workload is starting to get to me.

  I’m usually so tired and moody after school that socializing with my classmates becomes a chore. I barely eat supper before I’m passing out in bed, and my letters to Marvel start to get shorter and simpler with every passing day.

  I skip writing one afternoon altogether, and take a long nap. Buttercup— Prim’s ugly cat— perches on my bed like a sentinel to watch me sleep. I believe he’s worried about me… stupid, clingy cat thinks I’m sick.

  But the feline’s intuition proves right, because just two days later, I shoot out of bed and run into the washroom to spill every last ounce of last night supper into the toilet. I must’ve caught a bug or something! 

  I feel queasy and lightheaded every morning after. My appetite wanes and it seems my delicate stomach can only tolerate pears, and broth. 

  I visit the post office to place out my letters to Marvel almost everyday; Every time I come, the nice old mailman comments on how sweet it is to see all the young-uns holding romance strong. Marvel has yet to respond to one of my letters, so I just smile tightly and demure. 

  I’ve been thinking though; the longer I go without news of my supposed future husband, and despite the whirlwind night of romance with him, I start questioning my actions, my promises. I never wanted to marry before, and suddenly I was okay getting a hasty, unofficial engagement with a virtual stranger, I barely remember from grade school… maybe it’s better if Marvel never writes. 

  My plans on earning a college degree and finding a well paying job will go unencumbered— I’m aware women in prominent working professions are as rare as snow in July, but women’s presence in the working forces keep growing as industries need laborers to keep up producing while the men fight in the war. Educated women are almost becoming less rare. 

  At the two month mark since I last saw Marvel, I become weepier than usual… is to be expected in my opinion; Prim’s been gone for a little over two months and she was the only person I knew I loved. But now I’m worrying about my health on top of everything.

  One morning, while I’m kneeling on the cold, hard floor in front of the toilet, feeling miserable and tired, my mother calls my name from the open door.

  “Katniss, I think it’s time to get a test.” She states evenly, and then enters the room to fetch a damp washcloth to wipe my face clean. “I hope I’m wrong, but I’m afraid you may be with child,” she sighs. 

  I squirm. “No,” I gasp. “I— I can’t be with child. I just can’t!” But the thought has crossed my mind a few times already. “It’s not supposed to be this way!”

  “I know, child,” My mother pats my head, “there’s only one way to know. Get dressed for the day, I will call the most discreet physician I know, and have him pay us a visit.” 

  ————————-

  Doctor Aurelius— a physician my mother has helped deliver babies and treat maladies with— confirms the pregnancy with a grim face. 

  I sit at my kitchen table numb and despondent. My mother writes a check to the doctor for his services, while talking in no so hush tones in the other room. I listen to their whole conversation, as if submerged in water.

  “I blame myself for this, doctor. I should have kept a closer eye on her,” 

  “Don’t blame yourself Ms. Everdeen, it’s that war business bringing out all sorts of evil into the world! It’s unfortunate the rise of these cases in our community. Young ladies— from good families!— engaging in acts ought to be saved for marriage. Youth do things without thinking, guided by fear. Our boys fear they may not return from that senseless, awful war, and settle down properly, and I don’t blame them one little bit.”

  “The only solace I have right now, is that my poor husband is not here to see the shame that’s fallen over our family,”

  “I understand the sentiment, ma’am. There’s no telling how Preacher Everdeen would’ve taken this blow. But I’m sure things will work out as soon as young Katniss hears from the father…” 

  I dissolve into silent tears then. My mother escorts the doctor to the door and then there’s silence. 

  My pinky finger curls into the soft fabric of the table cloth, and I try to ignore the urge to vomit boiling in my stomach. There’s one thought circling mi mind: my college days are over.

  ——————————-

“Ah! Miss Everdeen, I have something for you.” Says the mailman as soon as I reach the desk. He smiles, but rather sadly, like he’s about to give me bad news. 

  I’ve come to the post office with urgent letters every day for 6 days, and he’s never looked at me this way. 

  The old man digs around for a moment and almost reluctantly, passes a parcel tied up in twine. An envelope is attached to the top of the parcel, and with a sinking feeling, I realized it’s a stack of my own letters. 

  “It came in today, miss.” Says the man, voice laced with pity. “Sorry for your loss.” He says. 

  At first I don’t understand what he could possibly mean by that; he’s offered his sympathies fir my dead father and sister already; it makes absolutely no sense to repeat himself randomly after so long. 

  Then it hits me like a ton of bricks. 

  I gasp, and press the parcel to my chest. “Oh no! Marvel!” I whisper. I give the man a hasty wave, thanking him, and rush out of the post office like mad. 

  Tears run down my cheeks, while I dash home, imagining the worst. “Poor, Marvel!” Is all I can think.

  “Katniss, what’s wrong?” My mother calls, alarmed, when I rush to my bedroom, sobbing. She follows me in, and watches me tear into the envelope at the top of the stack. 

  I frown in confusion when I’m met with handwritten, chicken-scratch scrawl, instead of a formal missive typed in official US military stationary. 

  My scowl deepens as my eyes rove over the flowery vocabulary, and then I screech, “What?!” 

  “Katniss, what’s going on?” 

  I ignore my mother when she approaches to read over my shoulder; I step around her, shaking the piece of paper in my hands and stand by the window, as if sunlight will make the words change their meaning.

  I smooth the creases and folds on the page over, and read out loud, “Dearest Kit, sorry it took so long to write, it’s been a wild time since we arrived and finding time to correspond with everyone back home it’s been hard.

  “At times, your letters have been the sole source of light and hope in the darkness of this conflict. Is for that reason, and with a heavy heart, that I must come clean to you now. I truly meant it when I swore to come back and make you my wife, but as the Good Book says, the Lord works in mysterious ways, and love has sprouted out the most unlikely place! Kit, I’ve fallen in love and married a lovely gal here in England…”

  I stop reading. He goes on talking about the why and how, but I sincerely don’t care. 

  “That good for nothing, virtue dasher, future crushing… liar!” My mother bleats to the ceiling, raising her palms over her head, dramatically. 

  I’m angry too, of course. I feel used and disposed of like a dirty rag, but my mother’s reaction is borderline hilarious. Except, it isn’t. 

  I’m pregnant, unmarried, and soon— once my still flat stomach starts rounding— I’ll be socially ostracized for my condition. My only saving grace was the promise of marriage that bastard Marvel had given me. But that’s gone now. 

  “I knew that boy was bad news the second I laid eyes on him! He never even introduced himself to me, the little weasel! This is my fault. My fault! I should’ve never allowed you to run amok with the likes of him…”

  “Mother, will you please?” I nearly growl, gesturing at the open bedroom door.

  She stares at me uncomprehendingly for a moment, before pursing her lips in disapproval, and stalking out of the room muttering her aggravation under her breath. 

  I sink into my bed with Marvel’s stupid letter crumpling in my fist. A single, hot, angry tear rolls down my face, and for the first time since finding out of its existence, I hug my midsection and address my child, “I’m so sorry for dragging you into this mess. I know you didn’t ask for a mother like me, but I’m all you got now, little one. I promise we will be alright… I’ll try not to let you down.”

  ———————-

  My mother has been unbearable for the last two days. She cries in her room worse than when Prim died, and when she sees me, she starts lamenting my poor choice, like I’m not even standing there… as if I don’t feel discouraged enough. 

  I keep myself busy with my education. I will need to earn this diploma now more than ever before, and I need to do as much as I can before the baby arrives and my studies get put on hold. 

  In the meantime, I scout the newspapers for possible work options to sustain me and my mother. Our savings keep diminishing and the small stipend my mother got from the Army since my father passed away is becoming more insufficient by the day. 

  There’s a knock on the front door, and I push out my chair unhappy by the interruption. 

  “Afternoon Miss Katniss! Would you let your mother know she’s got a telephone call down in the lobby?” Says the building’s doorkeeper. 

  “Of course, thank you. She’ll be right down!”

  Telephones are yet another luxury we had to give up when moved to this small place after losing my father. 

  I go back to my job hunt, and my mother descends to the lobby, quickly. 

  She returns after only 10 minutes, almost running through the door, excitedly calling my name. Tears wet her face, but her smile is so blinding, even without knowing what sort of news she’s heard to cause her such joy, I stand from the table with nervous anticipation. 

  “Oh, Katniss! Katniss my dear daughter, you’re saved!” She exclaims, hugging me tightly. 

  I’m confused. I step away from her embrace, “What do you mean?” 

  “It’s the best thing possible ever, I tell you! The Lord has answered all of my prayers!”

  “This is all so exciting and all, mother, but… could you please share this great news already?” 

  My mother cups my face in her hands, and beams at me, “You need to pack your things, darling! Your father’s good friend, Reverend Undersee, has found a husband, and you are to wed, in three days time!”

  —————————

Reverend Undersee and his daughter, Madge, meet me and my mother at the rinky dink bus station, in the equally tiny town my mother has banished me to.

  “Katniss! How long has it been?” Says Madge, hugging me enthusiastically.

  I bite my tongue to keep the acidic retort of “not long enough!” to leave my mouth. 

  “Welcome to Panem,” says the reverend, soberly, shaking my mother’s hand in greeting.

  “Thank you, revered. We appreciate your hospitality and your understanding,” my mother responds, then gives me a pointed look and a wordless command. 

  I nod and mutter, “Thank you, sir. Madge,” 

  I scowl at a crack in the pavement, not feeling an iota of gratefulness for this charade! 

  Any man agreeing to this questionable union has to either be desperate, or be hiding terrible, ulterior motives to go along with all of this. Nobody in their right mind would willingly marry a girl pregnant with another man’s baby, and be happy about it… unless that’s the reason! 

  I shudder at the thought. 

  But it is a very real possibility that my intended is a simpleton, who can’t find a wife otherwise… or worse! It could be a man very advanced in age, looking for a supple, young body to leech off. Gross!

  My mother had been too excited about the news that a man offered to marry me (as if I asked for, or even wanted a husband!) to bother to ask his name. 

  Reverend Undersee coughs daintily, clears his throat, and starts, like he’s giving a lecture at the university. “It is our Christian duty to lend a helping hand to widows and orphans in their time of needs. Same way it’s our duty to keep the memory and honor of an old friend from being dragged into the mud.”

  I wince at the harsh words, and let my face fall lower, if that’s even possible. 

  “Well, it’s a good thing that we are all recipients of the abundant grace of the Lord, which covers multitude of faults, and it’s never hard to reach,” a deep, velvety, masculine voice cuts into my embarrassment. 

  I lift my eyes from the ground, to find a man striding confidently in our direction. He smiles kindly at me, his eyes fixed on my own, like I’m the only person still standing in the station.

  He finally cedes our staring contest, to take in the rest of the group.

  A knot forms in the pit of my stomach, because I recognize him from years past when my family used to visit this town, and I’m afraid I know exactly why he’s here. 

  “Good afternoon, all. I apologize for my tardiness, I had a last second detail to take care of before leaving the house,” he nods in our general direction, taking his hat off; a riot of ashy blonde curls falls onto his forehead, before bending forward to shake my mother’s hand, “I’m Peeta Mellark, at your service, ma’am. It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” 

  “Likewise, mister Mellark,” says my mother, her lips twitch tersely, “Widow Everdeen, and this here is my daughter Katniss… your bride.” 

  Peeta Mellark’s baby blue eyes slip back to mine, and the left side corner of lips curls into a shy, earnest smile. “Welcome to Panem, Katniss, I’ll sure do my best, so you’d like it here.”

[kaylaxwrites]

Street Kid

Pairing: (platonic!) Frank Castle & Reader Words: 1.9k Request: “hi :) can you do a platonic frank castle imagine where he is in a fight and looses alot of blood and end up passing out in an alley but a street kid (16/17 yo female) stitches him up and saves him and later he runs into him and they develop a father-daughter relationship? thank you so much!” (anon) A/N: I don’t know if this is what you wanted, and my mind blanked half way through when trying to come up with some father/daughter scenarios, so that aspect of it probably isn’t the best. But!! even though requests are technically closed, I’ll also some father/daughter requests for if you have any specific situations/scenarios you wanted to see. Just because I feel really bad that I couldn’t write what I wanted to see so it’s probably not what you wanted to see lol

Warnings: reader has an ambiguous background of being kicked out by her parents and she’s homeless and also somewhat-graphic description of stitching somebody up. but it’s a punisher fic, so you know

You ducked through the alley, taking the shortcut you always took. You stumbled to a halt when you noticed a body laying on the ground. Please don’t be dead, please don’t be dead, you thought as you inched closer to the man, letting out a breath when you noticed the rise and fall of his chest. You hesitantly leaned over him, toeing him with the edge of your shoe. “Buddy…uh, you okay there?” you asked, nudging him a few more times. It wasn’t until the fifth nudge until he finally gasped awake, wildly swinging at you the instant his eyes opened.

“Woah, woah, woah,” you called, stepping back several feet. “Chill, dude, you’re fine.”

It was a few moments for him to calm his breathing and gather his surroundings. “Who’re you?” he grumbled, words almost slurred.

“Uh…Y/N. I was just walking by and I saw…” You noticed his wide away of injuries then. He was so bruised and bloodied, you weren’t sure where one wound ended and another began. Blood obscured his face so you couldn’t make out any details as to who he might have been. But the skull on the chest was a dead giveaway. The Punisher. “I think you need a hospital.”

“No—no hospitals.” He stumbled to his feet but crashed into a dumpster, unable to find his balance.

“Uh, yes. Yes hospitals.”

“M’fine.”

“Uh-huh. Is there…is there anyone after you? You look like you got the shit beat of you. They won’t be coming back, will they?”

“No. No.”

You sighed. “Glad that’s settled. So if no hospitals, you got anyone I can call? You got friends?”

“Look like I make friends?”

“No.” You looked around and sighed. “Well, I wouldn’t feel like a good Samaritan if I left you all by yourself. You wanna follow me or…?” He huffed something that almost sounded like a laugh, but hesitantly shuffled behind you after you started walking.

You kept pace with him as you navigated to your home. No, house? No…place you slept. The abandoned building that acted as the roof over your head wasn’t much, but it was all you had. After your parents had kicked you out a year and a half ago—and your subsequent emancipation—it was the best spot you could find. The shelters were always overcrowded and no landlord in their right mind would lease to a sixteen-year-old, so you settled. At the very least, you were able to spend money earned from your two fast food jobs on things other than rent. Like food. And a nice sleeping bag. And, useful in instances like this, a well-stocked first aid kit.

You held open the gap in the chain link fence for the man to wince his way through. In any other instance, you’d feel hesitant to let a stranger—a grown man, no less—into what acted as your home, but this was the Punisher you were talking about. Even though he…killed…people, you read enough in the news to know that his moral code—however skewed it was—wouldn’t let him hurt women or kids. As you fell squarely into that category, you figured you were safe.

You kicked open the door to your building and led the Punisher up the stairs to the room where you camped out. You directed him to sit on the dusty table at the center of the room. You pulled out the first aid kit you had, as well as a couple clean towels you had nicked from work. You set those on the table next to the Punisher before pulling the 48-pack of water bottles out from under the table. You wet a towel with one of the bottles and handed it to him. He started cleaning his face until he could finally see clearly through the blood.

“You live here?” he asked after taking in the room fully. You noticed his eyes lingered on the sleeping bed and mat framed by battery-operated string lights in the corner of the room. Then he finally took in your appearance. “Jesus, you’re just a kid.” And your age, apparently.

“I’m eighteen!” you tried to defend yourself. Frank arched an eyebrow, eyes sliding to your stuffed animal still propped up on your pillow. You sighed, looking down. “Sixteen. And a half,” you added after a moment. As if it would help your case.

“Where are your parents?”

You crossed your arms defensively. “It’s a long story.”

“Fair enough.” He looked around the room once more. “You got a mirror I can use?” You nodded and slid a half-shattered mirror from behind the door. He nodded his thanks and stepped over to the mirror, sliding his shirt and vest off with a grimace.

You puttered around while he did whatever he needed to fix himself up and clean himself off. You tried to avoid looking over at him, the blood making your stomach queasy. You were able to ignore him until he caught your attention half an hour later.

“Kid,” he called. “Kid. Hey, kid!”

It was the last one that startled you to attention. You jumped and turned to face him. He was cleaned and stitched up. For the most part. He definitely looked a lot better than when you saw him for the first time. But you still thought he should go to the hospital. Punisher or not.

“I need your help,” he continued.

“How am I supposed to help?” you asked.

He turned to show you a gash on the back side of his ribcage. “Needs stitched. I can’t reach it.”

“And you want me to…” You gulped.

“You got anyone else here to help out?”

“Well…no.”

He gestured you over and then pressed a needle and tweezers in your hands. You eyed the curved suturing needle warily. “I’ve already sterilized everything. I just need you to close it.” He braced himself against the wall with his opposite arm.

“I—I don’t know what to do.”

He pulled your hands so they were against the wound. “You gotta pinch it closed then about half a centimeter from the edge slide the needle in and straight across.”

You followed his directions and gagged at the feeling of the needle sliding through skin. “Oh my god! That is disgusting!”

“Yeah, yeah, keep going.”

You gagged again as you pulled the needle through the opposite edge of skin. “Now what?” you asked, breathing heavily.

“Double knot it and cut it off. And then go every quarter inch or so until the end.”

You did as he said until the entire would was sealed off. You raced to grab a bottle of water to pour over your hands. You never wished more for running water so you could thoroughly wash the blood off your hands—and the memory of feeling the sutures pull against skin. “Please tell me that’s the only one,” you said when your hands were the cleanest they were going to get.

“Yeah, that’s the only one.”

“You do that often?”

He chuckled. “More than I should.” He shrugged his bloody shirt back on, seemingly preparing to leave. “You stay here by yourself?”

“For the most part,” you answered. “I mean, sometimes there’s a few kids who hole up downstairs, but for the most part, it’s just me.”

Frank looked conflicted, as if he wanted to leave but didn’t feel right leaving you here alone. After a few moments, he seemed to make up his mind. “I should probably lie low for a little while. You mind if I stay out in the hallway?”

“Oh, yeah, sure. I don’t…I don’t have, like, any extra pillows or anything to give you, though.”

“Trust me, kid, I’ve slept in worse places than that dingey hallway.”

“Oh, okay. Well, I probably should…be getting to bed,” you said. You weren’t anywhere near tired, but you don’t want him to feel like he needed to hang around you any longer. You passed him two water bottles as he stepped outside of the room. “Well, uh, goodnight, Frank.”

He tensed as you said his name. “How do you know my name?”

You almost rolled your eyes. “Uh, it’s not exactly like you’re incognito. The Punisher logo on your vest kind of gave it away.”

“Right. Night, kid.”

“Goodnight.”

You smiled and shut the door, moving to curl into your little bedspace. If you were being completely honest, you felt the safest tonight sleeping here than you’d ever had. Logically, you knew the Punisher was supposed to be some big, scary man, but deep down, you knew no harm would come to you with Frank Castle sitting just outside your door.

The sunlight slowly woke you the next morning. You squinted into the light that poured in from the broken window above your sleeping bag. You turned over and tried to fall back asleep, but it was no use. You rose from the makeshift bed, wincing as your joints popped, and made your way to the hallway. You looked down each end, but Frank was gone. It didn’t surprise you that he left at some point in the night, but you couldn’t say you weren’t a little disappointed he wasn’t there. You shuffled back into your room, freezing when you saw what was on the table.

Breakfast.

A hot, steaming breakfast.

You weren’t sure how you didn’t notice it earlier, what with the smell now wafting towards your nose. Instantly, your stomach rumbled. You rushed over to the takeout container, eager to find what was inside. A sticky note on top simply read “Thanks, kid,” but you set it aside. Your mouth watered the instant you opened the container.

Pancakes.

This was probably the single most happiest moment of your life. You hadn’t had a hot meal—let alone a hot breakfast—in who knows how long. The platter spread before you seemed like a feast. You dug in happily, savoring every bite until it was gone.

 That was the last you expected to hear from the Punisher. You stitched him up, he bought you breakfast the next day as thanks, that should be it, right?

Turns out Frank Castle was a man of many surprises.

Nearly every single day from that point forward, you would find a takeout container centered on your table. Sometimes, he left you breakfast like that first day—sometimes pancakes, sometimes omelets, but all from the diner a few blocks down the road. Other days, he’d bring you dinner, leaving Chinese takeout containers piled high on the table or a Tupperware container full of homemade spaghetti. You weren’t sure who made the spaghetti—you couldn’t exactly picture Frank in the kitchen—but it was incredible, nonetheless.

Your favorite days were when Frank lingered after dropping the food off, eventually going as far as to sit and eat with you when he could. Those days left you feeling the happiest. Dinners with Frank happened more and more until he offered you the small second bedroom in his rundown apartment. “I’m never gonna use it,” he said, “and I’m not gonna bust you out of jail if you get caught for trespassing.” You eagerly grabbed the opportunity with both hands—you wouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth, especially if that horse would get you out of this rat- and cockroach-infested hellhole. Living in an actual apartment would be a dream.

Thinking back on everything, you weren’t sure when the feeling began, but one day, you realized…you felt like a family. By all means, the relationship you had with Frank Castle was far more familial and paternal than any you’d ever had with your biological family. With each passing day, you couldn’t be happier that you’d stumbled across a half-dead Punisher in the alley that night.

[tsarisfanfiction]

Too Far

Fandom: Thunderbirds Rating: Teen Genre: Family/Hurt/Comfort Characters: Virgil Tracy, Scott Tracy

So I was rewatching some episodes, minding my own business, when this muse blindsided me out of nowhere.  It’s a lot of Virgil, specifically delving into Virgil’s head and motivations, and this is a playground that is normally locked and barred to me so I have no idea at this point how well it’s ended up from a characterisation standpoint.  Who knows, maybe one day I’ll understand this boy.

It’s not normally Virgil that Scott has to pull up for misconduct.  Episode tag for 3.06 Life Signs.

“Virgil, can you come to the den, please?”

Scott’s voice emerged from his comm with no warning, not even a greeting, and he looked down at his wrist in surprise.

“Is it a rescue?” he asked, eyeing the task he was halfway through and already starting to calculate the fastest way to finish it.  “I’m doing some maintenance on Two, so it’ll take me a couple of minutes to get her ready for launch.”

“There’s no rescue.” Scott sounded… off, but not in any of the ways Virgil was used to hearing.  It was, at least, partially familiar, but he couldn’t place it.  That was concerning, but he couldn’t just leave Thunderbird Two with her dashboard strewn across the cockpit.  Rescues had a habit of cropping up at the most inconvenient times, and that certainly qualified.

“Then… can it wait until I’ve put the panels back?”

The weighty pause on the line gave him the answer even before Scott spoke.  Whatever Scott needed, it was urgent.

“Five minutes, Virgil.”

But not so urgent it couldn’t wait?  Thoroughly mystified and more than a little worried, Virgil hurried through putting his girl back together as quickly as he could whilst still being sure he wasn’t messing anything up.  It was lucky he could do it in his sleep, because his mind was firmly fixed on Scott’s odd request.

Except it wasn’t a request, was it?  As he screwed the last panel back in place, he realised where he knew that tone of voice from.  It was the tone Scott used on Gordon and Alan when they’d done something big brother didn’t approve of.  He hadn’t instantly recognised it because Scott hadn’t directed it at him in…

Virgil couldn’t actually remember.  Normally when Scott was preparing to lecture him, he was laid up in the medbay with an injury Scott thought could have been avoided and there was a strong undercurrent of thinly veiled worry.  That undercurrent was missing, this time, and despite himself Virgil hesitated.

What had he done to get Scott on his back like that?

Reluctantly, he left his girl to answer Scott’s summons – and that was what it was, just like Dad used to summon them if they were in trouble; after Mars and the high of Captain Taylor saying Dad would have been proud of them, the reminder of Dad’s stricter side nestled unpleasantly in his chest.  Scott had even gone so far as to wait for him in the den, rather than seeking him out.

Just like Dad.

Virgil wasn’t scared of his brother, but the little brother in him was scared at the idea of disappointing Scott, and it was that part that dragged his feet along the ground, reluctant to face whatever was waiting for him in the den.

Scott was sat at Dad’s desk, glowering intently at a hologram in front of him.  Virgil couldn’t see what was on it, barring a lot of text, but that wasn’t important.  What was important was the strong, imposing figure at the desk, distinct from his memories of Dad only because Scott was leaning forwards, elbows on the table.

Dad had never sat like that. Sometimes, it seemed like that was the only difference between Dad and his big brother.  Today, with a heavy atmosphere and otherwise empty den – no doubt cleared on purpose for this talk – was one of those times.

But for all that they reminded Virgil of each other and memories threatened to overlap reality, it was still Scott at that desk.  Virgil trusted Scott with every fibre of his being, and it was that trust that shoved his reluctant feet into the den to face whatever Scott wanted to talk about.

“You called?”

Muscle memory – old, old muscle memory that hadn’t been exercised in eight years – led him to stand in front of the desk.  With Scott sat in the chair and him still on his feet, he was taller.  He didn’t feel taller.

The desk did funny things to perception, skewed them away from reality.

The blue eyes that suddenly pinned him in place left him feeling a foot tall, and he didn’t even know what this was about, yet.  There was love in them, because it was Scott and there was always love in his eyes, even after Gordon had poured itching powder in his bed when he was ten and the sheer amount had him reacting so badly he’d had to see a doctor, but it was overshadowed by other, darker, things.

Anger. Frustration.  Disappointment.

Disappointment had a way of affecting the colour that no other emotion could quite replicate.  It was the only shade of blue that made Virgil feel ill to look at.

Scott didn’t say anything, making solid eye contact that Virgil wanted to break but couldn’t.

If the disappointment was heart-breaking, the silence was nerve-wracking.  Virgil didn’t like silence at the best of times, and took to filling it with whatever he could, whether it was music, the sounds that accompanied engineering, or simply lingering in earshot of whichever brother was the liveliest at that moment.

But Scott knew that, and no matter how upset or disappointed he was, he wasn’t cruel.  The silence lingered for barely a few seconds before he jabbed at something on his tablet.

An awful choking sound emitted from the desk’s built-in speakers, as though someone was trying to breathe but just couldn’t.  It was one Virgil had heard many times before – too many times before – but this one was different.

A wave of cold – icy, Antarctica-cold – swallowed him up with the creeping inevitability of realisation, dousing him until his organs felt like they’d all stopped working and the blood had drained from his body.

He didn’t need the sound of Alan’s panicked “Virgil!?” to identify it, and his entire body cringed as he heard his own voice, too full of adrenaline-packed amusement, reply.

The finger that jabbed the pause button was full of judgement.

“I-” he started, trying to find words – an explanation, an apology…

Those blue eyes gave him a look and he quailed into silence.  An excuse.  That’s what he’d been leaping to, but there were no excuses.  Not for that.

“Our communications lines are supposed to be used for mission-relevant information only,” Scott finally said.  The disappointment Virgil had identified in the initial summons had nothing on what was dripping from his big brother’s words now.  “Strictly speaking, there should be no jokes or banter while we’re on a mission, but for the sake of boosting morale, I let that slide.”

He did more than let it slide – Scott was almost as bad as Gordon and Alan for it sometimes, but Virgil knew better than to pedantically correct his eldest brother when he was like this.  Hell, even John tended to let Scott say his piece without interrupting if he got this bad.

“Still,” Scott continued, “there are some jokes that go too far, Virgil, and quite honestly I can’t believe I’m having to remind you, of all people.”

He winced involuntarily. “I know, Scott, I’m sorry.  That was out of line.”  It hadn’t seemed it at the time, not with the adrenaline rushing and a sudden desire to lighten the mood in the collapsed tunnel, but in hindsight, Virgil could see exactly how stupid a prank that had been.

And to do it to Alan, of all people.  His youngest brother who had just admitted to him that he was forgetting Dad and worried about them dying on a mission.  For them to have one of their closest calls to date was bad enough, where it had been a very real possibility that not all of them were going to make it out alive, but then he’d gone and compounded it…

“Virgil.”  Scott pulled him back to the present, and Virgil never wanted to hear his big brother say his name like that ever again.  His admittance had done nothing to dilute the disappointment.  “I’m not the one you need to apologise to.”  Scott at least had enough mercy not mention Alan by name, even if it hung unspoken and heavy between them.  “But we need to talk about this.”

Need to talk?  Virgil knew he was in the wrong, and normally when Scott knew he knew he was in the wrong, he let it rest after pointing it out. Actually having to talk about it – worse, having to stand there and face the disappointed shade of blue – filled Virgil with something not too dissimilar to shame and apprehension.

The thought crossed his mind that he was going to be grounded.  Punished.

“Virgil, why did you do that?”

“I-” he started, but broke off.  Why did he do it?  Adrenaline wasn’t the reason, even if it had played a part in him actually doing it. Fear, too.  Fear that he really was going to die; that he’d just killed himself and abandoned Alan to dig out his dead body.  But that still wasn’t the reason, was it?  Not really.

Scott didn’t push him. For all he was disappointed, and other displeased emotions swirled around behind the disappointment, he gave him time to answer.  But then, perhaps Scott knew he didn’t know and was waiting for him to work it out.  His eldest brother could be a mind reader at times.

Virgil swallowed.  “I…  I wanted to be like Dad.”

The words surprised him as much as they did Scott.  Blue eyes widened, and finally Virgil saw something else, something he was used to, flicker in there as well.

Worry.

“Like Dad?  But, Virg-”

“Captain Taylor’s always going on about Dad, and how Dad never let fear get in the way,” he interrupted his brother, words tumbling out with no conscious thought behind them.  “How Dad always had a plan, and the scrapes they’d get into.  How they always got out of them by the skin of their teeth – writing the book on lunar survival and the asteroid belt’s buckle and landing on Mars in the first place.” He took a deep breath, considered looking away but Scott’s wide, rapidly changing eyes locked his gaze in place.  “And Alan was talking about Dad on the way, all the little things he used to do.”  He didn’t mention what Alan had told him – that had been said in confidence, and there were some things he couldn’t break, not even for Scott.

Instead, he paused to get his rushing thoughts under control.  Scott’s disappointment had faded into astonished disbelief, and that hurt in its own way.

He also still looked like Dad.

“Captain Taylor was talking about Dad, and everyone knows you’re Dad’s son.  And John, and Alan.  Hell, even Gordon.  I just wanted Captain Taylor to see I am, too.”

He knew everyone looked at him and saw Mom.  Even if they didn’t look alike, he’d inherited her temperament and love of music.  They never looked at him and saw Dad.

“I just wanted to be Dad’s son,” he admitted.  “I wanted to do what Dad always did in the stories and lighten the mood, keep the morale up. It was stupid; I know that now.  I terrified Alan.  It was unprofessional and Dad would never have done that at anyone’s expense.”

His cheeks felt cramped, and his vision blurred.

“Virgil…”  There was movement in front of him and then a weight on his shoulder.  He knew that weight – he’d felt it time and time again.

“It was stupid,” he repeated, the words thick in his throat.  “I shouldn’t have done it.  But… Captain Taylor said he’d be proud of me.”

The hand on his shoulder shifted, and then there was a firm warmth around him.

“Of course Dad would be proud of you,” Scott said, mouth a little way above his ear.  Virgil let his head fall forwards until it was resting on his brother’s shoulder.  “Don’t ever think that he wouldn’t be.  You don’t have to be like him, Virgil.  You just have to be like you.”

On another day, in another conversation, Virgil would turn that back around at Scott, who had spent the last eight years trying to emulate Dad.

But Scott had him in a warm, comfortable embrace and the little brother who had been terrified of those disappointed blues lapped up the reassurance that was being offered in their place.  This wasn’t about Scott; this was about him and his stupid spur-of-the-moment idiocy.

And the brother he had no doubt terrified more than he’d realised.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled into the blue shirt.  “I messed up.”

“You’re only human,” Scott reminded him.  “We mess up, and we learn from it.”

Slowly, Virgil nodded. That was certainly a mistake he was never, ever going to make again.

Scott’s embrace was still comforting, but with the little brother no longer terrified, it was the big brother’s turn to make an appearance.  He couldn’t put this behind him, lesson fully learnt and absorbed so intently it was imprinted on his brain for all eternity, until he soothed it over with Alan, too. Reluctantly, he pulled back, out of his brother’s hold, and Scott let him.  Hands lingered on his shoulders just a touch longer, before they fell back to Scott’s sides.

Now that Scott was standing, not sat at the desk projecting Dad, he was actually taller than Virgil, and yet Virgil didn’t feel quite so small anymore.

“I need to talk to Alan,” he said, hoping Scott didn’t notice his voice cracking on their youngest brother’s name.  Blue eyes – no longer disappointment-blue, but back to their default love-and-concern shade – looked him over, before Scott gave him what could almost be classified as an approving smile.

It was definitely approving, even if the twitch of his dimples wasn’t quite enough to qualify it as a smile, and that alone lifted a weight from Virgil’s shoulders.

“You should,” he agreed. “But you should probably clean up a bit, or you’ll scare him.”  It was light-hearted, almost back to the teasing banter of a big brother rather than the Dad-mirage, and Virgil took it for the olive branch it was.

Nodding, he turned to leave the den.

“And Virgil?”  There was something slightly melancholy about that tone, and he turned half back around again.  Scott was looking at him, with a small smile on his face that wasn’t really happy, even if it wasn’t sad.  Just honest. “Even Dad was only human.”

[gch1995]

Slides 1-10 of The DC PPG Comics issue #18 “The Trouble With Bubbles.” Eh…They did this same plot better with Blossom in “Not So Awesome Blossom.” See, she lost her confidence and ran away from home and her superhero role in that episode because she kept failing on a day when she was trying her best. On top of that, Buttercup’s teasing broke her even further. However, as soon as Mojo called her, and told her her family was in danger, she swallowed her insecurities of failure, and came to save them.

Here, in this comic “The Trouble With Bubbles,”Bubbles gets reprimanded by her sisters and the city for not helping them fight a monster when they asked her because she was trying to save a butterfly from getting killed by getting its wings wet, which means she wasn’t really trying her best. She had skewed priorities. However, their anger with her for messing up once isn’t really enough to convince me that she would want to run away. Also, both her sisters, the Mayor, and the city actually do have every right to be pissed off that she prioritized the life of one butterfly over all of theirs. But god forbid, Bubbles POV ever not be validated by everyone in the narrative, or her bad choices and/or mistakes ever have negative consequences in the classic franchise…

Even in episodes like “Bubblevicious,” “Helter Shelter,” and “Neighbor Hood” in which Bubbles actually was framed as being in the wrong and getting in trouble, she got off so easy in comparison to her sisters in their centrics because she was the “cute one.” In fact, in “Bubblevicious,” Bubbles terrorized the city over the course of the day because she was tired of being treated like a baby by her family, and, while she does apologize for abandoning them, her sisters are the ones who actually have to go looking for her in the end. She was kidnapped by Mojo, but she handled him herself. However, she didn’t actually do anything to save them in the episode after turning on them, and only offered any apologies to them after Blossom and Buttercup said she was “hardcore” after taking down Mojo by herself. Yeah, Blossom and Buttercup were wrong for teasing Bubbles about being a “baby,” but her response to go off the rails to prove she was “hardcore” by shoving Blossom into the ground, getting snippy with them, and terrorizing innocent citizens in the city for committing minor infractions over the course of a day, were way worse. Yet, she expresses no remorse for it, and pays no negative consequences.

And I don’t hate Bubbles from the classic PPG. At her best, she is kind, cute, funny, and witty. I loved her centrics “Boogie Frights,” “Helter Shelter,” “All Chalked Up,” and “Mime For A Change.” However, compared to her sisters, particularly Buttercup, it really did feel like the narrative did everything in its power to make sure Bubbles lived in a bubble that coddled her in ways that made her impenetrable to negative consequences, and thus, wasted opportunities for growth of character for her in the narrative. It just feels like compared to the growth and/or negative consequences that Blossom and particularly Buttercup faced for messing up or doing something wrong in their centrics, such as “Paste Makes Waste,” “A Very Special Blossom,” “Moral Decay,” “Not So Awesome Blossom,” “The Mane Event,” and “Makes Zen To Me,” Bubbles gets off the easiest because she can never have negative consequences in her centrics in which she makes bad choices and/or mistakes, and, even if she is in the wrong, she rarely ever has to earn their forgiveness or trust back when she does something really wrong. Everyone has to bend over backwards to validate her POV, or she completely gets off with no negative consequences when she does wrong. It’s ironic because Bubbles got the most individual focus of her sisters, but the least growth of character because of this sort of writing.

The build up to Blossom running away after losing her confidence when she failed to stop a monster with a plan of hers in “Not So Awesome Blossom” was also kind of rushed, but it still took more than just that one failure to cause her to run away in shame. She also was trying her best in that episode. When she got home, she kept messing things up by accident, in spite of trying her best, such as making a block building fall when she put the final block at the top, accidentally spilling a hot kettle of tea on Professor Utonium’s lap, squeezing the stuffing out of a plush doll by accident, and messing up at darts. She also had to deal with Buttercup rather cruelly gloating about swooping in to save the day by mocking Blossom for failing when she was already feeling down after a plan of hers failed to stop a monster in battle, jinxing her when she was playing darts to make her feel insecure, and threatening to take over her role as leader.

Here, Bubbles messes up trying to do what she felt was right for the butterfly, thus failing to help her sisters stop the monster, and makes Blossom, Bubbles, and the city angry with her for prioritizing a butterfly’s safety over theirs. I get that Bubbles is an animal lover, but Blossom, Buttercup, and the Mayor have every right to be angry with Bubbles for prioritizing a butterfly’s safety over theirs. I get that Bubbles’ didn’t mean any harm, but she still should have had to realize that sometimes not every animal and insect can be saved. No one should need to apologize to her here. She messed up by skewing priorities. She should have still realized that prioritizing the life of one butterfly over the lives of hundreds of people, was wrong.

But, of course, since she’s Bubbles, everyone else has to be the one to beg her to come back to the team, and admit they were wrong at the end, even though they had every right to be angry with her for prioritizing the life of an insect over all of theirs.

Also, while Buttercup wasn’t canonically portrayed as this horribly abused, mistreated, neglected, and unloved child by her family and the city overall, though I completely ignore “Moral Decay” because it’s never mentioned or referenced again, anyway, and went way too far into wildly OOC hateful territory for the entire Utonium family that made me feel very uncomfortable, particularly in regards to Buttercup’s treatment at the end, she definitely was the misunderstood one. Wouldn’t it actually make more sense to do this plot of with her since centrics episodes of hers like “Nuthin’ Special” and getting her name because “it also begins with a B” from the Professor in the 2002 movie, imply that she felt like the black sheep of her family, and wanted to be special with a unique power like her sisters?

Anyway, here’s slides 1-10 of issue #18 “The Trouble With Bubbles”

[notthatiwilleverwriteit]

Hey I saw your answer about akigetsu and damnnn it was such a good read. They always manage to bring so many emotions in me. Also I saw that you mentioned you might have shipped akiharu if they were executed differently.. how do you mean? I too think that haruki and akihiko would have been better off as friends sigh. Last thing, hiiragi and shizu what's your thoughts? XD

Hello, dear haffi-shipper!

I have kept your ask waiting for a long time, but I think I’m finally getting around to answer you. To be honest, I’m still not completely sure what I want to say or how to convey it exactly but I don’t think further mulling is going to make much difference. So, let’s get to this finally!

“I saw that you mentioned you might have shipped akiharu if they were executed differently.. how do you mean?”

Here is the previous AkiUgetsu answer you are referring to. In it, I talked about why I think they dragged their relationship on for so long even though it was clearly painful for both of them after becoming roommates. I also said this in the end about AkiHaru:

Then there is also the development of AkiUgetsu to AkiHaru to consider. Now, I feel like I have to make something clear before entering this part of my answer. I do not ship AkiHaru. In fact, it’s probably my Given NOTP. Personally, I don’t see any romantic/sexual chemistry between them and I think they would have been better off as friends regardless of how AkiUgetsu ended. For me to feel their relationship, I think their development should have been executed better/differently.

Before I get to your question, let me tell you why it took me so long to come up with my answer and why it threw me in a bit of turmoil.

At first, your ask seemed relatively “easy” to me. I set out to reread the comic from the AkiHaru point of view but as I kept reading, I noticed two things.

First of all, I was rushing through the AkiHaru parts of the story. I was skimming instead of reading and even skipping some panels without paying them proper attention. Catching myself skimming and skipping got me thinking why I was doing it. I knew I couldn’t answer your question with such half-assed work, but it seemed I just couldn’t dig into AkiHaru. After a while, I decided to stop reading and not resume until I had solved this problem. And it turned out your ask was a good chance for me to really take a good look at myself.

As a fair warning, what I’m about to say next might offend someone, especially if you’re an AkiHaru shipper. But those things are the basis for what I have been feeling and going through, so I’d appreciate it if you would at least hear them out. 

I’m pretty sure people who have followed me in the Given fandom know that AkiUgetsu is my OTP through and through. People with whom I’m closer probably also know that my relationship with the AkiHaru folks is…complicated for the lack of a better word.

To me, the Given fandom has been one of the most frustrating fandoms I have been in. Character bashing, ship bashing, bashing disguised as crack, cliques, banning, kicking out, and very passive-aggressive behavior all around. It seems we can barely talk about anything without lowkey offending each other and we seem to lack the ability to keep scrolling if something isn’t to our taste.Now, I fully understand this kind of behavior concerns the whole fandom, though I would say some ships are more peaceful than others and are just doing their thing. But in my experience, it’s the AkiHaru folks who do the lion’s share of dominating the fandom and lowkey silencing people.

Before anyone comes at me, please know that I’m not saying people can’t ship what they want or that everyone has to agree with my personal preferences. I have no problem with people shipping AkiHaru and/or disliking AkiUgetsu. It’s their business and freedom. What I am saying, however, is that I have encountered many Ugetsu/AkiUgetsu fans who feel like they don’t have any space in the fandom. They are hesitant to post about Ugetsu/AkiUgetsu in groups etc. because they are afraid of the avalanche of AkiHaru folks who just can’t keep scrolling. And this hesitance spreads until it seems like you’re all alone in the fandom.

I’m also not saying that every AkiHaru shipper is the same. I’m sure the majority of them are perfectly nice people, and I’m even friends with some of them. It’s just that the most vocal and aggressive of them can act very entitled and as if their endgame ship gives them some kind of moral high ground in the fandom. In other words, if you can’t see the superiority of AkiHaru, there must be something wrong with you.

The reason why I have developed such a strong disliking of AkiHaru is precisely because of the way the AkiHaru fandom behaves. In my time of being in the fandom, AkiHaru has gone from neutral “meh” to a NOTP to me. And that development is why I realized I was rereading the AkiHaru story in such a half-assed way. The canon story of AkiHaru evokes the same frustration, anxiety, and “ugh” reaction in me as the AkiHaru shippers do, and I end up barely being able to read the panels through.

But trying to answer this question made me realize that I haven’t been fair. It’s not right that I’m not giving the ship a fair chance just because I associate it with the fandom. The fandom does have a big role in how people view something in canon, but it’s ultimately up to me if I lowkey deliberately won’t give something a chance. This behavior also goes against what I personally believe because I think that kind of skewed reading leads to biased interpretations. Despite what my personal interests and biases are, I don’t think I can pick and choose what to acknowledge in canon.

So, I was forced to swallow a somewhat bitter pill and take a good look at myself. I had to almost completely rethink my take on AkiHaru which is why it took me so long to work up to this answer.

Another thing that I realized after all the deliberation was that I might come out as AkiHaru curious at the end of this. After the closing of the Given Facebook group I was a member of, I took a step back from the main fandom. I wanted nothing to do with the constant arguments and bashing anymore. I pitched up a little corner for Ugetsu folks and decided I would be content with that space. It’s a small group and will probably never grow big but at least I won’t have that nervous churn of stomach every time I get a notification from the group.

But I think that step back helped me see AkiHaru better and even get more interested in it. My reaction to it isn’t as clouded with my feelings towards the fandom as it used to be. My guard isn’t as high anymore, and I feel like I can give it a proper chance now. I have had some tickles to even try and write AkiHaru. AkiUgetsu still remains as my OTP for sure, but I’m beginning to get some sparks of inspiration from AkiHaru as well.

I’m sorry for the long explanation but I just wanted to make people reading this know where I’m coming from with AkiHaru. Now, finally to your question!

The main “problem” I have with AkiHaru is that I can’t see much romantic chemistry and depth between them. In my eyes, they pale in comparison to what AkiUgetsu had. AkiHaru is cute and fluffy, but I feel like “cute uwu” is where the conversation begins and ends with them. However, that changed a little to me as I kept deliberating. Their relationship started to gain a few more layers but they still don’t really have the kind of complexity and development that would pull me in. I can see they are in a relationship in the comic but I’m struggling to really feel them.

I think stories involving long-term unrequited love are very tricky to execute well. If A has been one-sidedly in love with B for a long time, it’s difficult to make B return those feelings in a way that feels natural and not forced because of the plot. Especially if that change is from friendship to romantic love. In AkiHaru’s case, I could feel Haruki’s unrequited crush on Akihiko but I’m really struggling to feel Akihiko returning those feelings. He confessed to Haruki in canon, but the process of him gaining and discovering those feelings was lost on me.

I think the one of the biggest reasons for that was the 6-month timeskip Kizu decided to take in chapter 28. I do think Akihiko started to see Haruki in a different, more romantic light during his stay before their CAC performance. But I feel like the mental process of his feelings for Haruki taking shape and strengthening to the point of confessing was lost in the timeskip. Akihiko went from inklings of seeing Haruki in a different light to “I wanted to become a better man for you”, and that change in him was basically covered with a couple of panels of him buying Haruki some coffee.

Now, I do realize there were panels of Haruki talking about Akihiko moving out, quitting his part-time jobs, spending more time practicing the violin, and “acting strangely”, but all of that is telling instead of showing. When it comes to something as big as Akihiko going through all that change – the biggest issue I always have with these kinds of stories about unrequited love – the story needs to show the development to me, not tell me.

So, if there was one thing I would have changed in AkiHaru, it would have been that timeskip. I would have loved to see inside Akihiko’s head during all that time and actually see the progress of his feelings and resolve. What does he love about Haruki? How does Haruki make him feel? Don’t just skip all of that and make him confess and say that he’s now trying his best for Haruki. If you compare the way Akihiko was made to fall in love with Haruki to how his story with Ugetsu was told to us, the difference is like night and day.

In some ways, I think AkiHaru lacks the development and care that AkiUgetsu and even UeMafu has. As I said in my earlier answer, the direction from AkiUgetsu to AkiHaru makes sense to me and now I can even appreciate it, but even with my new rereading of AkiHaru, the ship doesn’t bring as much to the table as AkiUgetsu did. It’s fluffy and uwu but where is the rest?

I think this also shows in the fandom’s AkiHaru content. I see a lot of fanart of blushing Haruki and posts raving about cute AkiHaru panels, but I’m struggling to find layers in the fluff-fest. What about conflicts in their relationship? What about how will the downsides of both Haruki and Akihiko’s characters affect their relationship? With these questions I’m talking about the fans’ thoughts and ideas. For example, I would be genuinely interested in AkiHaru folks’ headcanons.

This wraps up the AkiHaru part of my answer. I probably upset some people and I apologize for that, but I feel like I needed to address those things. In the end, I got a lot of things off my chest which helped me clear my own feelings towards AkiHaru. I still prefer to keep my distance from the main (AkiHaru) fandom, but I do realize I hadn’t been fair in my judgment of the ship. There are some things that will most probably always sting in my heart, but I think I have gained some new interest in AkiHaru after giving it a proper chance.

“hiiragi and shizu what's your thoughts?”

ShizuRagi isn’t exactly my area of expertise, but I do love the characters and I’m excited to see them becoming canon. To me, ShizuRagi has the kind of depth and complexity that interests me.

Hiiragi is definitely one of my favorite uke characters in all of the BL I have read. It’s so unbelievably refreshing when an uke is shamelessly head over heels for their seme. I love his inner tsundere simping for Shizusumi. I also absolutely love the confidence, energy, and brilliant shine of Hiiragi. To me, he has the vibe and intelligence of a music producer. But despite all the tough confidence, he is also considerate of his surroundings and worries easily.

Overall, ShizuRagi is probably my second favorite ship after AkiUgetsu. I love the complexity of how Shizusumi feels about Hiiragi. I’m drawn to the darkness he seems to carry and what kind of contrast it creates with Hiiragi’s dazzling shine. The overwhelming and at times a bit intimidating devotion he has for Hiiragi but at the same time feeling like he’s being cast aside by Hiiragi/he’s someone who can’t compete for Hiiragi’s love tickles my angst bone. There is this dark energy in him that wants to both cherish Hiiragi’s light but also seal it off just for himself. In some ways, ShizuRagi reminds me of AkiUgetsu but just with a dynamic that is the kind that “fits” an endgame relationship.

So, yes, double thumbs up for ShizuRagi development!

Thank you for your questions! They proved to be difficult for me on a personal level, but I’m glad I went through that process. Also, thank you for your endless patience waiting for me to get my thoughts sorted out!

[daily-zuko]

Hi,I heard there are some Avatar The Last Airbender fans bashed Katara for being hostile towards Zuko when she has a valid reason to do so given what he did in Crossroads of destiny,do you validate Katara’s grudge and animosity towards Zuko?

Hello, Daily-Zuko here! 

Though I’m not sure what answer you’re looking for, I suppose I’ll do my best to respond in a nonjudgmental manner. You’ll have to forgive me – as a Zuko blog, my focus in this breakdown skews towards him, though I have tried to give sufficient attention to Katara as well. As this turned rather lengthy, the majority of the content lies under the cut. Thank you for the question.

I think my favorite part about Avatar: The Last Airbender is its nuance in exploring complicated character dynamics. There is no black & white morality; each character’s feelings are treated with as much delicacy and respect as they deserve. Every individual’s story is weaved together seamlessly to create a greater whole, and Katara and Zuko are no exception. Their character arcs run parallel in many ways during the show, finally colliding in the Season 2 finale. They have both struggled with grudges, rage, and resentment holding them back throughout the course of the series, and this culminates in the climactic turning point in The Crossroads of Destiny. 

Katara, after carrying the pain of losing her mother for so long, seemingly finds a kindred spirit in Zuko, and let’s go of her anger to extend a hand in trust. This is her attempting to move beyond her childhood trauma to start healing. Zuko’s rejection of her is a rejection of his own inner turmoil, but it unfortunately cements Katara’s toxic mindset of revenge. Regrettably, Zuko is not ready to accept a change of heart; this occurs just as he’s evaluating his own moral stance. This finale subjects both of them to their lowest point moving forward. 

To answer your question, I believe that the actions they both take in The Crossroads of Destiny – and beyond – are valid.

At the point in the narrative where Zuko attempts to join Team Avatar, Katara’s potential growth has been stunted from their previously aborted connection. Zuko’s mental scars from his mother were not a central theme to his character development, unlike Katara, so he was able to complete his metamorphosis and advance. Though to all appearances they share the same childhood experiences, in terms of character, they do not share the same Ghost. 

In the book Creating Character Arcs, by K.M. Weiland, the author outlines four distinct things to establish in order to successfully create a Positive Change Arc: a character’s Want, Need, Lie, and Ghost. Zuko’s want versus his need is rather obvious. The lie he believes is that his worth is tied to his father and his title. By capturing the Avatar, he will return home and become intrinsically complete. The ghost, in this instance, does not refer to any literal ghost; rather, the ghost is the incidental wound within a character’s past that causes the character to believe in the lie in the first place; in other words, the Agni Kai.

In contrast, Katara’s ghost is literal – the death of her mother. It haunts her and prevents her from understanding her truth: that continuing the cycle of war will not remedy her grief. This creates an opposing force for their conflict in The Crossroads of Destiny, as while Katara has yet to confront her own lie, she is presenting Zuko with his truth, and rushing him into the next phase of his archetypal growth. 

Zuko’s choice in this scene is necessary. His reaction to Katara’s unexpected offer of reconciliation is instinctive – primal. Though he has come to the point where he can question his way in life, he is not yet ready to have this outlook thrust upon him in this split second decision. He cannot confront his lie. Therefore, he rejects the truth, relapsing based on what all previous experiences tell him is correct. Only once he fulfills his want in succeeding does he realize that it is not what he wanted in the first place. 

Additionally, Katara is somewhat of an unfortunate bystander in Zuko’s next step on “The Hero’s Journey.” The Positive Change Arc quite commonly coincides with the much earlier interpretation of character development defined by Joseph Campbell in The Hero With a Thousand Faces. Though this path is generally a commentary on the main character’s quest, this is only because other characters are not usually as fleshed out. Zuko, as the deuteragonist, is an exception. In this stage, referred to as “Challenges and Temptations”, “Road of Trials”, “The Descent to the Abyss,” etc, Zuko needs to fall to the absolute bottom in order to die and be born anew, and he drags Katara with him. 

In this vein, Katara’s obsession with rage and revenge simmers within her, and is not addressed in detail until The Southern Raiders. It is something that was magnified by the perceived betrayal of someone she had faith in, but it was an underlying issue that colored several actions she took. This was, of course, exacerbated by the duplicity demonstrated by others throughout the series. 

During their stay at the Western Air Temple, Zuko doing all he can to show Katara his changed self even though she continually rebukes him is his only meaningful way to absolve and prove himself to her in spite of his previous violation of her trust. His acceptance into the party does not erase his past mistakes. Katara needed to shun him just as Zuko needed to show her, with his actions, that she is allowed to forgive and finally complete her own journey. It is a fragile balancing act the writers have coined in order to give these two the catharsis they deserve, and it is executed flawlessly.

.

.

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tl;dr: Yes, Katara is valid, so is Zuko, this show is more complicated than that and implying that one character (on either side) is in the wrong somehow for their feelings does a disservice to the show’s excellent writing. 

Additional youtube content from people who articulate much better than I do:

The Importance of Mistakes, by Make Stuff

A four-part show analysis, from The Weight of Cinema

The Cycle of War, by Hello Future Me

And finally, thank you to my lovely beta @tmariea for constantly helping me put my thoughts in order.

[snkpolls]

SnK Chapter 126 Poll Results

The chapter 126 poll closed with 1,647 responses. Thank you for your support! This month’s poll results were compiled by @shifter-lines​ , /u/alooulla,   /u/_Puppet_, @manerein and @momtaku.

  RATE THE CHAPTER 1,514 responses

“Rate the Chapter” is a genuine bell curve this month instead of having its more typical overwhelmingly positive skew. While not terrible by any means, the response to chapter 126 was the most lukewarm since chapter 107, and it was the second worse performing chapter since we started the poll.

(Kazoo Avengers theme)

By far, this was the chapter I enjoyed the least, I just hope that the ending feels realistic

Definitely fast paced, but definitely needed to finally kick things into high gear. The Calm Before The Storm…

it was pretty disappointing by aot standards, but the last 15 chapters were amazing, so what am i even complaining for.... i just hope that isayama can write a decent ending.

I feel like this is either one of those chapters that will be more rewarding in hindsight when we have more info or was just straight up moving forward so we can get to the good stuff faster and we will have to suck it up and move on. All in all I think it was a good chapter even if a little rushed.

Easily the worst chapter in years due to the fast pacing, convenient plot developments and cliche and very cheesy and cringey ending page quote.

In the anime they could make a whole episode out this single chapter instead of using two chapters to make a single episode

ISAYAMA GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!! THE SAUNA AINT RUNNING AWAY FROM YOU

Haha pie

  WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT? 1,519 responses

After nearly a year of absence Levi and Hange were finally back in the story so it’s no surprise that “Everything with Levi and Hange” topped the list of favorite moments with 22.1%. “Avengers Assemble” was a distant second with 10.6%. Confirmation that Levi was alive came in third (10.2%).

ONYANKOPON CALLYING JAEGERISTS A BUNCH OF CHAUVINISTS

Pieck and Hange teaming up? Eren better watch out because those two together are gonna KICK SOME ASS!

Hange needs so much more appreciation, she is such a good person. I hope she and Levi both survive this shit.

I loved everything that happened, it just desperately needs some more detail filled in.

I loved Levi and Hange interactions

Annie eating pie is just perfect

It was so good to see Levi and Hanji again and together. They suffered so much, i need an end where they both survive and can have a restful retirement

Glad to see that Connie is still a good guy. Also that he is trying his best becouse of his Mother.

But what Pieck Pieck? The greatest tragedy is that Isayama took that from us, y'know not that Eren is destroying the world or something...

I really loved to see Armin and Annie together!

  WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MOMENT? 1,507 responses

Talk about polarity. “Avengers Assemble” may have been the second most popular “Favorite Moment” but it was also  the landslide winner for “Least Favorite” with nearly 22% of the fandom selected it as the worst moment of the chapter. “Floch’s Speech” (13.8%) and “The Ragako Subplot” (13.5%) rounded out the top 3.

everyone called them the avengers but lets get real they are a fuckin Suicide Squad

Why are we wasting time on Louise

Avengers Lowcost version

Didn't understand Magath reasons to join forces with his enemys. It felt like some story in between was missing.

Can I just say I hate what Isayama did with Connie's character? I've never seen a character as bipolar in his development

Floch was the only good part....

  WHO WAS THIS CHAPTER’S MVP? 1,503 responses

Hange (23%), Jean (16.2%) and Armin (13.4%) were our top three favorite characters this month. It needs to be said that “Pie” came in at number four with nearly 10% of the fandom selecting it.

it WAS nice to see characters choosing to be their best selves for the sake of others. For that reason, it was difficult to pick an MVP -- but I gave it to Onyankopon because he crystallized so eloquently exactly what I had been thinking since Eren started the Rumbling.

Levi and hange tho

So much Erwin nods!  Yesss <333

Still love my boy Jean!

Some characters are still acting consistent: Jean, Magath, Levi (still not over killing the BT and that's good), Onyankopon and Floch.

Connies growth, Jean's motivation, I'm glad these boys are reclaiming their almost-lost humanity!

Levi. That is all.

Oh, also, I want pie.

  WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE HANGE AND LEVI CAMPSITE MOMENT? 1,494 responses

“Hange suggesting that they live in the woods together” (27.2%) was the favorite campsite moment, followed by “Levi’s words upon waking up” (23.3%).  “Hange sniping while shedding a tear” was third (19.6%))

I'm giving this 5/5 solely for Yams finally feeding the LeviHan shippers some good fucking food after so long.

I ship Levi and Hange. It's so cute when Hange realized that Levi was listening to her/him while pretending to sleep.

Shirtless Levi round two! Wit, you better do the job correctly this time!

We need a Historia chapter but it’s great to see Hange and Levi being back.

  PIECK… FINGER? 1,492 responses

Pieck Finger. Pieck Finger everybody. You know how a common response to trauma or awkwardness is humor? Well 42.6% of you are primarily concerned with how “Pieck Finger” will be memed. 24.7% of you accept the trauma and say you wish she would’ve just stayed “Pieck”, and 20.6% of you are glad she has a last name, but did it really have to end like this? 6.5% of you think it’s a “cool and realistic last name”, and I think you guys scare me more than the people who vote “Snapchat” on the last question every month. More on that later.

"pekfinger" is swedish for "pointer finger" too. oh lord

Back when Pieck was supposed to be a dude, the working name was "Oliver Pieck", at least from what I read on the AoT wiki. I feel like Isayama could have just switched the first and last name around to make it "Pieck Oliver." That would've sounded far less weird.

I know a guy named Buck Ramming. Pieck Finger is fine by me lol

It's an instruction not a name.

Levi sure could use a couple of Piecks right about now heyoooooo

the fact that she got the worst titan and now also the worst name it’s so funny

What kind of a first name is Pieck?

  AS PREDICTED, CONNIE’S ROADTRIP WITH FALCO ENDED AMICABLY. WHAT DID YOU THINK OF IT? 1,498 responses

The Ragako subplot did little for the readers with nearly one-third of the fandom calling it a complete waste of time. The majority (46.2%) were slightly more charitable selecting “It was ok. I’m glad it wrapped up quickly”. Only 17.5% loved the moment. The write-ins were pretty damning.

Good plotpoint, really bad execution

I cringed the whole time.

I liked the outcome, but it was handled too quickly

A complete waste of time: Connie's arc? Sharted over. The consequences about Falco? Sharted over. Possibility to exploit serumbowl or Ymir's memories? Glossed over.

All of this made no sense and it was solved so quickly it seemed unrealistic. YAMS WE NEED PROPER CLOSURE PLS DON'T WASTE MORE INK

Connie changed his mind a bit too quickly, but it was good nevertheless

Connie deserved better writing.

Felt too shallow for how quick it sprung up, needed more development. As it is now, it could've just not happened

I'm glad that Connie hasn't died yet because I appreciate him, but there's been wasted potential. Ymir's memories and Porco and Colt's deaths have been reduced to a single vignette where we can only speculate and write fics.

Missed opportunity to actually develop Connie's character. We didn't learn anything we didn't already know about Connie.

This feels like what the anime did to the Uprising Arc. It happened way too fast and honestly felt like Isayama was just checking it off a list, so to say. Which is honeslty a bit uncharactieristic of his writing. I really hope this doesn't start, or continue, a trend...

  WHICH DENTAL HYGIENE MOMENT DID YOU ENJOY MORE? 1,494 responses

Before I talk about the numbers, I just want to shout out the one guy who responded “Other” and just said “why”. Anyway, a solid majority of you guys’ favorite dental hygiene moment was Hange asking Pieck rude lady questions, which frankly sounds much worse than it actually is. The next most common answer, getting just over 25% of the votes, was Connie’s Master Plan™, followed by “Both”, followed by “Neither!” I still like the guy who just said “why”.

I didn't mind it, but I heard that Isayama did this so he could get a toothbrush merch campaign going lol

Isayama has a teeth fetish confirmed

Holy Fuck what was Connies face doing when he was talking about titan teeth brushing.

Why, just why

Pie

  WHAT DO YOU THINK OF HOW MIKASA ACTED TOWARDS LOUISE? 1,457 responses

The fandom is almost evenly divided over Mikasa’s actions towards Louise. By the narrowest of margins, Mikasa’s compassionate nature took the majority (26.8%). The other extreme, “Mikasa should’ve sucked it up and let the girl be happy”, was second with 26.2%. A quarter of the fandom instead chose to focus on Louise. “Louise was crazy and deserves the cold shoulder” was third (23.9%).

It's not surprising that Mikasa ran out of f*cks to give. There are only so many lives she can value, and right now she doesn't have the time to spare, or room in her heart.  

I don't think Mikasa had any responsibility there, and the scarf is hers. Given its significance, and that she owes Louise nothing, it seemed like the moment was morally neutral.

I really didn't care. Louise is barely a character, and Mikasa had no duty to be nice to a person who enabled and supported a bloody coup just because she saved her life once.

I don’t blame Mikasa. I don’t like and want to spend time with my stalkers either

I felt bad for Louise. She’s dying, let her think you care about her, Mikasa

I felt like Louise is completely obsessional but Mikasa is just as much. To me these kinds of moments show that Mikasa has completely lost it recently

I'm concerned about what this says for Mikasa's character development thus far, and I felt kind of bad for Louise

I'm sick of the scarf back and forth

It actually seems quite obvious to me that Mikasa pitied the poor girl, but there was nothing she could have done for her. Because she simply lacks the time necessary to care for Luise, or change her mind or make sure that she's ok.

That this is about Mikasa’s compassion or lack thereof I think says more about how we feel women should feel. I think it was fine, she barely knows Louise and there is a lot more going on. Louise is a grown woman that made her own decisions.

the most interesting part about it is that Eren asked Louise to throw the scarf away. that's it.

Mikasa already did a good gesture by visiting Louise, no one would ask Jean to do the same with Floch, so I don't see the big deal. Both cases are "protagonist sees themselves in antagonist, and realise how they mustn't become like them".

  WHY DID MIKASA DECIDE TO TAKE HER SCARF BACK? 1,482 responses

“Mikasa wants it back for other reasons” was the selection of nearly half of respondents, since “wearing it” and vague malice towards Louise were the other two options.

Eren wants her to throw it away, so she's making her own decision and going against his wishes on purpose.

I don’t know if she’ll wear it again, but it’s always been her scarf and she’ll decide it’s fate when she’s ready

I think she wants to give it back to Eren.

It's still important to her. She may let go of Eren but the scarf is always gonna be there to remind her of what was and the family she once had.

It’s just simply that it’s hard to throw away a possession you held dear for most of your life. It’d be more out of character for her to throw it away. I don’t think she ever planned on abandoning the scarf—setting it aside was rather Isayama’s way of showing Mikasa’s conflicted thoughts on her relationship with Eren.

Ultimately, Mikasa's the authority on the scarf and it's emotional weight, while Louise was trying to squeeze her own meaning out of it. It wasn't Louise's place to do so, and it wasn't her scarf to take. Whatever is to be done with it, to see it used again, given to someone else, or see it thrown out or destroyed, is a choice only the scarf's real owner, Mikasa, should make.

  THEY FOUND ANNIE BY SITTING NEXT TO HER WHILE SHE WAS EATING PIE, THOUGHTS? 1,497 responses

The reunion with Annie was another chapter moment that fell flat for the majority with only 21.8% expressing approval with it. The majority (31.8%) thought it would’ve been ok if there was more time for conversation and reaction and 22% were primarily bothered by the coincidence involved in the reunion. The remaining 20% found the lazy writing unforgivable.

*sigh*

There was way too much build up just to have it end in a gag. It was cute, but it... just doesn't work?

Are you telling me that every time you talk about Robert Downey Jr. he doesn't just appear right next to you?

Humor was not appropriate in this situation

I fucking loved it

I think it's lazy writing but it made me laugh pretty hard so I'll give it a pass

It was a funny moment but definitely not how I had imagined nor hoped Armin/Annie's reunion would happen

Sitting together like nothing happened before and eat and laugh… are you serious?!! It’s not funny

SNK has always had funny moments like this woven into it, especially when the 104th were still trainee's, and it's nice to see a tonal flashback to the past like this.

Stranger things have happened. Floch's hair, for example.

  WHAT SORT OF PIES DO YOU THINK THEY WERE EATING? 1,469 responses

Fruit. Definitely fruit.

...

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

What's the point of this question?? I'm confused

What the fuck is a meat pie?

We're missing PIEces of the puzzle still

  WHAT PIE WOULD YOU SCARF DOWN THAT FAST IF YOU WERE ANNIE? 1,459 responses

Apple (23.9%), and chocolate (16.2%) are our favorite pies, with Meat and “I don’t like pie” tying for third (11.4%). Several respondents were rather vocal about this even being asked. To them I say Isayama is the one who started this :P 

Apricot, you American heathens

Duh. Pineapple of course

I'd be more worried about getting home to my dad before he's crushed by a psycho

Marleyan organ pie made by the Usurper Chad himself!

nectarine pie.... you should try it

Rhubarb pie. Best Pie Ever.

Sweet Potato Pie!

There are so many interesting questions you could have asked in this poll yet didn't, but you're asking about pie?  (A/N: There are so many interesting things Isayama could have drawn in this chapter yet didn't, but he's drawing about pie? )

  HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT HITCH BEING LEFT BEHIND? 1,479 responses

While the majority thought it was a good way to write her out (36.3%), there was plenty of disappointment (26.2%) and many who thought it could’ve been handled better (16.6%). A segment of the fandom (18.5%) thinks she’ll be back since there is more she has yet to do.  

Perfect. She is always left behind throughout the series. The continuation of this makes sense.

Does the lack of Hitch means the lack of pies? Because this is unacceptable.

Glad that she'll survive probably, but she was such an interesting character

Annie and Hitch were my new otp, so just sad feels

Hitch is safe from now on. Ok for me.

I felt so sorry for her, because Annie's disappearance reminded me a bit of Hitch's relationship with Marlowe. Once more it seemed like the Survey Corps was taking someone precious away from her, off to an unknown and risky fate

I never had pie so Idk.

  WERE YOU WORRIED THAT JEAN WOULD JOIN THE JAEGERISTS? 1,480 responses

For this question, 21.5% of you were a little nervous that Jean might join the Jaegerists, but a much more significant 69.2% understood the implied fact that the Jaegerists only accept humans, and Jean is a horse, and therefore there was never any threat of him allying with them. You’d think that with like four hundred years of this series being out, I’d think of a better way to make that joke, but here we are. Anyway, the last 9.3% of you think Jean would do more to help Paradis if he joined the Ab Church, which is an excellent parallel to the Wall Church in the beginning of the series, I might add.

I still wish more time was given to the subplots such as more time to stew on Jean joining the Yaegarists

  LAST MONTH 75% OF THE FANDOM THOUGHT JEAN WOULD BE THE PERSON TO TAKE DOWN FLOCH. DO YOU STILL THINK THE HAIRBOWL WILL HAPPEN? 1,463 responses

Remaining in the strong majority, 72.6% of you guys think there will be some sort of confrontation between Jean and Floch, though whether that means you think Jean will be the person to “take down” Floch or not is beyond me. I don’t know. I didn’t write this question, I’m just writing the blurb for it.

I'm still betting on Floch shooting Jean in the head as a punishment for not going along with the flow

take down Floch please!!!! ..

  FINAL WORDS. WHO DID IT BETTER? 1,479 responses

With 43% of the vote, Onyankopon’s... several... words? beat out Yelena’s strong and (mostly) silent type response (which got 33.1% of the vote, by the way) at their “execution''. 23.9% of respondents said “Both”, and while technically “both” couldn’t have done it “better”, I’ll let it slide, because they were both pretty cool, and semantics don’t matter.

Best boy was Onyankopon. We only used to get glimpses of him and finally he has rebelled, showing that he has more guts than some of our main characters.

  JEAN AND HANGE’S PLAN TO ESCAPE SHIGANSHINA HAPPENED OFFSCREEN. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT? 1,473 responses

Three-fourths of the fandom expressed some disapproval of how the offscreen planning of the escape from Shinganshina went down calling it sloppy(18.1%) and confusing (13.9%). Of those, the majority (39%) will be ok with it if a future chapter provides more details. Only a quarter of the fandom completely loved the handling of this.

Even if flashbacks fill the gaps later, they won't make 126 a better chapter.

How did they even communicate? I thought it was all planned between Jean and Mikasa

on the page with the titans marching at night, you can see a figure standing outside jean's window. could be hange coming to discuss plans

I liked it, but I think I like it even more if it's explained in the next chapter(s).

I think he did it that way to add surprise. I feel like lately he has been in general illustrating with a more cinematic eye and by writing the scene this way it will play better in visual media. Lately I feel like he has been thinking this way, it’s been a trend for a while now.

This is why you shouldn't cram up 3 chapters worth of content into one. I don't care if Isayama has to end his volume on some goddamn awful page. You don't mess with certain parts of the narrative.

It was fine, it wasn't necessarily a scene that needed to be included so I'm fine with it.

  WHO WAS THE PERSON IN THE WINDOW? 1,456 responses

Who was the person in the window? Was Chapter 116 the last time we’ll ever see Eren transform into his Attack Titan? How to turn into a titan without alerting the military police??? When will I stop asking questions? Right now!

Just under two-thirds of the votes for this question went to Shadis. Following Shadis at a clean 10% is Zeke, trailed by Zombie Erwin at 9.6%. Given the theories about Eren’s body at the end of 117 being a Warhammer clone, I never thought I’d see the day when Zombie Erwin beats Eren in a “who is the mysterious character who is not inside Eren’s Titan” question, but here we are!

CHADIS

Keith Lurkdis

Erwin never died! What even is that option 'zombie Erwin'???

Farmer-kun

Idk but whomever it is I hope they're a good guy.

Male adult figure... Must be my man Shadis. There's no way Zeke would wear so many clothes.

Ugh I have no idea. I’m not going to pretend I can predict anything anymore.

2Pac

  WHY DO YOU THINK MAGATH DEMANDED THEY CAPTURE YELENA? 1,465 responses

Why did Magath bring Yelena back with Jean and Onomatopoeia? ~20% of you thought it was because she’s need for a plan involving Zeke, ~17% think he wants the details of Zeke’s plan from her, just over 14% said  he wants information about Eren, 4.4% of you think he wants her as a prisoner, and the overwhelming majority, at 44.6%, think it’s all of the above.

My theory is that Yelena is Magath's daughter

  WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE FINAL PANEL? 1,478 responses

Another close one. If we disregard those who selected “Avengers Assemble”, which even though we added it I have no idea if it’s meant “Hell yes, can’t wait to see the Hulk and Black Widow together again” or “Please let Tony Stark’s legacy RIP.”, The “I didn’t like it” beat out the “I liked it” by 0.3%. However you look at the data, it’s astonishing that essentially one-third of the fandom did not like this ending.

*sigh*

Get in loser, we're going to save the world

A nice cringe to start my day with :)

The old gangs back together but with ADDITIONAL TRAUMA

I think it was supposed to be satirical. A lot of us expected that the warriors and the 104th would unite again so I think Isayama made it as cliché as possible to 1)offer the readers some comic relief, 2)maybe mock his own plot and show that he's aware that this alliance is kind of cliché.

At what point did Annie and Reiner deserve to be forgiven and taken in by the SC? And why do they think they actually can (or even should) stop the Rumbling?

Marvel copied the last panel

It is a reference to Reiner’s long time ambition, and an indication to his next role. Helos perhap. But I don't think isayama would let him save the world happily. Maybe he will save the world in an ironic and tragic way.

Brilliant !!! Finally it's Connie's turn to shine.

Can't wait to see this optimism crushed. Great moment, though.

I don't understand why people think it's such a cheap cheesy ploy when it's honestly kinda obvious that they're being set up for a fall. Optimism almost always meets at the very least a bittersweet reality in this story.

It's cheesy, but people don't consider it's Connie who's saying this who is an idiot

  REGARDING THE LAST PANEL, DO YOU THINK THEY HAVE A PLAN? 1,475 responses

Nearly 70% of you believe that Final Panel Gang have a plan, while just over 30% think they’re just gonna wing it. Get it? “Wing it”?

For more serious commentary, we’re normally used to seeing “Yes/No” questions a little more perfectly split, especially the ones that involve Eren. It’s interesting to see a more unified response, even if it means that SOMEBODY on Reddit is going to say “Nice.” about the Yes vote.

Isayama will probably do a flashback of the plan, he likes doing this sort of thing lol. It was fine.

It's fine IF the planning is shown in the following chapters, but if not then it'll feel like Isayama couldn't come up with solutions and did everything off screen just because of that.

Telling the plan to the reader only works, if the plan fails.

I feel like the pacing of the chapter was this fast so that Isayama could end with the "Avengers Assemble" scene as the big volume cliffhanger for the next one, so he tried to get through the events quickly to give it that poetic ending. In that case, it's possible Isayama might show how some of these events unfolded in the next chapter or two; he usually does that kind of thing when showing big events for the first time. If the next chapter fleshes some of the scenes from this chapter more like showing Jean discussing the Avengers' plan with Mikasa and Armin, I think that could make this chapter better when we look back on it.

  WOULD YOU RATHER THIS CHAPTER HAVE BEEN SPLIT INTO TWO? 1,468 responses

Remember what I said about being accustomed to more split votes? Well, 39.5% of you said that you would prefer this chapter have been split into two, citing a lack of development, while 39.2% of you said that you’re glad Isayama is, *ahem*, moving forward with the plot. The near-perfect divisions breaks off a little bit when we consider that another ~12% said no, blaming the plots themselves for the problems with chapter, and 6% effectively voting yes, saying that the chapter should’ve been split into three.

Ask me again in a few months when we see how the whole plot wraps up and if Isayama adds any additional details via flashback.

Honestly all of these plot points could have been arcs within themselves and i wish it had been given enough time to become that

I like that the plot is progressing but i don't like the subplots being rushed

I'm happy it's going forward and not dragging on, but I would've loved more of an interaction between the scouts and annie/reiner.

One and a half

𝜋

There are various holes (lack of reaction during Annie's appearance, poor coherency of when Eren managed to speak with many people) but Isayama is giving us cool alliances, so it's half okay.

  IF YOU COULD DROP A SUBPLOT, WHICH ONE WOULD IT BE? 1,463 responses

A fairly close call here, with the trip to Ragako Village being out in front with 42.6 percent of you claiming this is the subplot you would drop; Louise and Mikasa’s plot about the scarf is close behind on 36.2 percent. Perhaps readers feel the time for small subplots is done, since there’s so much still to do with the main plot we do not understand? A lot of responses indicated Mikasa’s perceived ‘cruelty’ (you’re all wrong, just so you know!) towards Louise, so perhaps this is indicative of why so many people would choose this event to be the subplot to drop.

Mikasa is just dead inside atm, but i feel bad for Louise

Mikasa knew Louise wanted that scarf, but she knew she needed it more. Plus I can barely remember Louise lol

Mikasa's behavior isn't good, but it's understandable---there are numerous mentally taxing events occurring.

Ragako stuff kinda sucked.

Goddamnit, this chapter was smelly poo. Not only we spent 3 months for nothing with that stupid Ragako plot and now everybody is holding hands just like that. If you're bringing an alliance you're not gonna make it happen offscreen with no detail whatsoever?

Ah and the Ragako subplot missed addressing the serumbowl as well: all we got is Armin whining about not being like Erwin and that's it. No Bert, no Ymir being addressed.

  IF YOU COULD HAVE MORE INFORMATION ABOUT ONE SUBPLOT IN THIS CHAPTER, WHICH WOULD YOU CHOOSE? 1,466 responses

Another close one! “The Armin and Annie reunion” is the subplot the majority wished for more information about with nearly 30% selecting it. “The conversation with Hange and Magath” was second (25.2%) and “Escape from Shiganshina” (17.7%) was third.

I was just expecting Levi, Hange and the corps interaction would be more surprising. The same goes for Annie and Armin's convo.

The mikasa scarf submit definitely could’ve happened in another chapter. This was too rushed and I really hope no other chapters feel this way. This chapter should’ve just been the Tagalog subplot, and then Annie and armin reunion. Then another chapter with hange/levi, Jean/flock and how they all came together to join forces.

It's so obvious this mad lad Isayama wanted to break the tension from the Armin / Annie reunion scene. We never know where he's going to trick us, do we ?

I do think that many things were kind of glossed over to save time. I'd prefer that things slow down a bit, just so we can soak up all that context. For example, the conversation between Hange and Magath, Annie and Armin's reunion and others.

  WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT HOW EASILY THE ALLIANCES WERE FORMED? 1,474 responses

A mere 17.5% enjoyed how easily the alliances were formed. The majority (43%) called it “OK” while a more than a third of the fandom (36.2%) hated it. Some folks seem to indicate it was expected and just needed to happen quickly so the story could move along. However, the amount of people who hated it was too large to ignore; and largely for similar reasons, that it appeared too easy. Maybe the mistrust and emotion will come as the story moves along? Some of your responses indicate trouble ahead, if not behind.

Also Hanji sides too many times with "benefactors". I'm expecting the alliance to be shaky, with probably backstabbings and double-crossings. They seemed to make an agreement over killing Zeke (since no side likes him), and I doubt characters like Mikasa, Armin or Jean would be ok with killing Eren.

I don't get all the madness over the alliance, It was obvious it would happen. Also it's obvious all the things glossed this chapter will be shown in Flashback if important, like what lead Annie join them, on how Hanji contacted Jean (although i think a lot of people didn't notice the shadow in the window on that panel of Jean in the bed).

It was warm and fuzzy and I really needed that, but the actual details of the new alliance will absolutely need to be expounded upon soon.

it wouldve been better if connie's mom plot didn't exist we could've got a better build up to the alliance

Overall, things were way too rushed, as if Isayama just wanted to get to the last page.  I'm expecting to see how this alliance was made in flashback form, as is typical for Isayama, but that won't fix the inherent issues of this specific chapter.

Hange getting so along with Pieck, who fought against them when Erwin was killed, was a complete joke.

I don't get all the madness over the alliance, It's was obvious it would happen. Also it's obvious all the things glossed this chapter will be shown in Flashback if important, like what lead Annie join them, on how Hanji contacted Jean (although i think a lot of people didn't noticed the shadow in the window on that panel of Jean in the bed).

I love seeing them all but oh heckin it was just a little too fast

  WHICH THROWBACK DID YOU ENJOY MOST CHAPTER? 1,465 responses

“Jean remembering Marco” (31.9%) narrowly edged out “Annie kicking Reiner”(30.3%) as our favorite throwback. Levi remembering his promise was a distant third (16.2%).

That Marco’s  throwback really hit me . *SOB*

I didn't like the Erwin reference when Armin tried to sacrafice himself for connies mother, instead of falco being eaten.

Armin recognized a very important thing to himself (he can't stay trying to Erwin, he suck on that, he needs to do what he is good on it, but as his own person and not shadow of Erwin)

Where was Jean at the end there? I want him to confront Annie over Marco. Poor guy had the worst death in the series. He was murder in cold blood and then it got covered up. Plus, the only person trying to solve the mystery is Jean. Bless Jean he is such a good friend

It makes sense that Connie would say that to Reiner of all people (that line come back to his childhood trauma). Fandom freaking out and fearing a cheesy happy ending is ridiculous.

I didn’t think it was cheesy at all. It circles back to Reiner’s declaration to Keith back during the training arc.

I'm kinda sick of Reiner's Kick The Dog treatment too. I know Annie hates him but still...

  REGARDING HOW THE AVENGER'S MISSION AND THE ENDING WILL GO, WHICH OF THESE IS PREFERABLE/ACCEPTABLE TO YOU? 1,465 responses

Fans proving as ever, that they are a divisive bunch! However, it's clear that the smallest amount of responses favour the rumbling being stopped and world peace occuring (hippies!). Some responses indicate that this chapter made them nervous for the ending being overly optimistic, even with Eren as the apparent antagonist. Endings where Eren achieves an extreme form of Brexit (Paradexit?) with a victory over the armies of the world have a fairly even spread of positive responses, proving that he still has a lot of fans on his side. However, most of you responded in the vague sense of feeling like Isayama knows best and at this point, just seeing where this wild ride takes us.

I keep seeing this popular prediction on almost every platform: Eren destroys the world outside Paradise, goes back to Historia and her newborn kid (in this sort of prediction it is always assumed that he's the father), tells his kid (who is also thought to be reborn Ymir) "you're free" and goes on to be a good dad - End of story. Honestly the thought of this type of ending pisses me off so much. Not only because its reeks of typical shonen ending, but because it goes against all the themes and ideas that Isayama has written into the story over the years.

I would not be upset with a 'golden' ending. Some part of me wants that to happen.

It setup the shonen cliche route and can ruin the ending

It was very unusual for this manga. I hope that the author will come to the most logical ending and will not use the power of friendship.

Least exciting chapter I can remember; it has me apprehensive about the ending.

I hope Eren's conclusion will end with him winning, however I do not him accepting his morality and to be shocked at what he's done but to come to terms with what he's done.

While I'm more supportive of Eren, I'm fine with whichever side comes out on top of this as long as it doesn't involve Eren being stopped through Power of Friendship or Talk no Jutsu. That would feel too cheap.

  WHICH RALLYING CRY DID YOU PREFER? 1,445 responses

While the Ragako subplot wasn’t exactly loved, Connie’s rallying cry was the fandom favorite (28.4%). Hange’s plea to Magath was a close second (26%) while Floch’s message of freedom was third (25%).

  AT THIS POINT, AROUND WHICH CHAPTER DO YOU EXPECT THE MANGA WILL CONCLUDE? 1,472 responses

The pacing of this chapter and the way its implications relate to the entire manga was, if I may be so bold, one of the more talked about meta points this month, from what I’ve seen. Maybe that was the thought process behind this question. I don’t know. I didn’t write this one either. That’s a good thought process though.

Anyway, a borderline overwhelming majority of you said that the manga will end around Chapter 134 (48.4% of you). The next most common answer was Chapter 138, which would give us 12 more chapters. Chapter 130 got the least amount of votes, at 7.3%. The remaining votes went to Chapter 142+, and I appreciate that optimism, because I for one hate thinking about this question.

  WHAT ARE YOU MOST HOPING TO SEE NEXT CHAPTER? 1,475 responses

“Historia when?” (26%) tops the list followed by the long awaited Eren POV (23.5%). “Details on things glossed over this chapter” was the third pick (22.7%) followed by “Zeke, Eren and OG Ymir” (11.6%).

I can't wait to see Zeke's reaction at seeing Levi AGAIN ready to fuck him up.

Historia when?? Also, Hange needs a hug, Levi needs sleep, Armin and Annie need to talk, Falco needs to deal with his brother's death some more, and we all need Erwin to come back :(

I hope we get flashbacks to explain all this off screen development.

Isayama please for the love of god remember that Historia exists.

Where is HISTORIA

where is zeke?

  WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 1,401 responses

Reddit continues to dominate this question, pulling 44.9% of the vote. “I don’t” actually takes second place this month, with Tumblr coming next, followed very closely by Twitter, which is in turn followed closely by Discord. In descending order from there, we have real life, 4chan, Youtube, a two-way tie between Instagram and Facebook, and everything else has less than 10 votes.

Before I move on though, it’s absolutely critical that I draw your attention to last month’s poll. Last month, I said, and I quote,

“Lastly, something ominous is going on in the Snapchat cult, because there were only two of you this month, down from five last month. That’s still enough to reproduce though and it makes me uneasy.“

“Why are you bringing that up?” you may be asking yourself. I’m bringing it up because Snapchat got SIX votes this time. “Why does that matter?” you ask yourself next. I’m glad you asked. That’s a 300% increase. If that rate continues, in just five month’s time, there will be more members of the Snapchat cult than the rest of you COMBINED.

That’s not to say anything more than it says, but I should add that I was totally vindicated on the Snapchat cult reproduction theory. Having done the math, you guys DEFINITELY scare me more than the people who liked “Pieck Finger”.

  ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE CHAPTER? 375 responses

Remember kids, the world is currently supposed to be ending

I know most people hated how rushed it felt, but honestly, I'm glad this wasn't split into 2 months. This leaves more time for the conclusion, and would much rather the alliances be rushed rather than the ending.

While it's certainly sad that Louise may not be long for this world, I also don't think Mikasa owes her anything. Mikasa seems to see a lot of traits she dislikes about herself cranked up to 11 in Louise, and I think it's understandable to need to distance oneself from toxic ideas or people. Mikasa and Louise were never friends, they never really knew each other, and never really cared about each other. Sure, Louise idolized an idea of Mikasa, but she put herself as separate from the real Mikasa, lesser. These two strangers never had a real chance to truly know each other, and that's okay, sad but okay.

While the panel of Annie with a face stuffed with pie is a gem, I think it seemed almost too good a coincidence. Both parties (Armin, Connie and the kids and Hitch & Annie) happen to be taking a break from their travels at the same time in the same city at the same festival. Seemed a bit too lucky.

Isayama has a bias against the yeagerists too. Portraying them as mindless dumbasses that are evil for no reason. Look at Floch everytime he has a moment it gets cut short for a "oh look at this dumbass" type of conclusion like him missing the shot at Shadis and getting duped by Jean and the 104th.

my dumb shipper’s heart wants Pieck’s reaction to Porco’s death.

this chapter felt too 'super hero movie' to me, in the sense that it was way too optimistic and cheesy, nothing like the Attack on Titan I know and love. Isayama's been watching too much Marvel.

A rushed chapter, Isayama may have messed up some timelines (e.g. Louise's talk with Eren, the changes in day and night), maybe Isayama was too focused on SAUNA SAUNA SAUNA when he was drawing the chapter but anyway, if the chapter was rushed because he wants to move to next plots (eee....east...eeeek...Ki....), I'm fine with it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Chapter Would've been terrific if it weren't for the rushed forced alliance. Mikasa's character also seemed out of place this chapter.

is not a bad chapter but at the same time is not a godly chapter like others but i have faith on isayama that he will blow our minds

Felt very disappointed and it is as if this story is moving to black and white territory again.

Good fast development, optimistic that what was glossed over will be addressed. A bit antsy that this is a setup for some tragedy but I don’t expect total senseless ruin for the characters.

I don't really see where all the complaints are coming from, to me the chapter must be one of my all time favorites ever since I've started reading the manga at the regular monthly pace. I think the build up and the tension have been steadily increasing slowly enough up to this point, and now we've finally reached the top of the roller coaster tracks, and it's time for the ride to the conclusion. I loved the mysterious plan, it reminds me of the uprising arc (ah the good old times).

I hope the author just got a bit lost and had to put things back on track quickly. I want to feel for these characters, not find out that I followed their struggles for chapters to see them dissolve for the sake of the plot.

Eren has suffered a lot over the years and a lot of things have been TAKEN from him - but do you remember "In order to achieve something, you have to give up something important"? I don't think Eren has ever GIVEN up something of his. He's always been a little maniac intent on killing the enemy (which is what he is doing right now). There have been so many characters in the story that have given up their dreams and finally their lives, why is Eren the one that gets to have his cake and eat it too?

I love it cause we need some time of just relax and be happy before the sad ending

I’m hoping the next chapter will make this one better by fleshing things out. Also seeing Annie and Reiner reunite made me deeply miss Bertolt this month.

JE VEUX PAS QUE CE MANGA FINISSE OMG

Reiner getting kicked in the face to wake up and understanding nothing is all of us

The more things don't seem to add up, the more you have to pay attention, that's what I learnt reading this series. And a whole lot didn't seem to add up in this chapter so I'm super hyped!

This is easily one of the weakest chapters Isayama has ever written. After creating all of these subplots that we were expecting to go somewhere and hold emotional weight for the characters were written off into cheap one-liners, off screen reactions and discussion, and just overall completely weak subplots that left us with no emotional payoff.

Boii I'm glad the development on the characters matters only when its relevant to the plot, I almost forget that I used to like them. If Reiner of all people doesn't point out how creepy and disgusting it all is I don't know what to say, what a waste of time of a series.

Connie mentioning Sasha made me cry! Actually makes me wish Eren pulls some time travel shit so that we can have our girl back.

Can I just say I find it funny, and I really love Pieck regardless, it is just a last name after all.

Good, but the former-enemy to friendly-pie-eating turnover rate was wayyyyy too fast!

I thought this chapter was it for Connie, who has been one of my favorites since the beginning. It was a bit sudden but I'm glad him not feeding Falco to his mom is Canon AND that it strengthened his bond with Armin.

It feels like none of the Jeagerists really see clearly what the situation is, or at least don't have an ounce of understanding or sympathy why everyone else is scared and freaked out by what has happened. That in turn makes it harder for non-Jeagerists to act with sympathy, what a vicious cycle.

What bothers me the most is not the way Mikasa interacted with Louise, but the fact that she wanted the scarf back. On a symbolic level, she left it behind a few chapters ago, which meant that she no longer put Eren first and started thinking about herself. She recognized that her bond with Eren was severed. So why take that scarf back now, when it's not supposed to have that much importance anymore?

I can see either the next chapter or the one after showing a flashback of Jean, Armin, and Mikasa discussing that plan. Cutting some parts of a scene and showing it in the following chapter or two is usually an Isayama thing to do.

I don't know why everyone's expecting every single piece of exposition to be laid out for them like meeting minutes. This isn't the first time we've understood what's been going on behind the scenes after the fact.

At the start Connie struggles to hold his emotions, and suddenly he's a hero, cheesy and cliche

Excuse me but can we stop making Gabi involved in everything? Shes so OP at this point

I loved the mockery of the cliche superhero assemble bullshit

STARDUST CRUSADERS

The cringe made me develop a permanent seizure. Also both my eyeballs are still stuck in the back of my head because of the excessive force I used trying to roll my eyes.

The team-up should have been given more time to develop. It wasn’t all bad though.

X-Men on their way to stop Magneto (Eren)

The problem does not lie so much in the pace as in the script tension, which Isayama killed a little in this chapter but intentionally I think. I mean the guys are literally sleeping and eating like it was a party during the freaking end of the world, do you really think he would have let such a thing slip out of clumsiness?

I'm pretty sure that Levi will have the role of "Helos", and Hange his 'Tybur' collaborator, because she's holding a hammer like the guy/girl next to Helos during the play (ch99).

Not the usual quality.

8/10. I liked annie's reunion the best, but wish that hitch had more characterization and wasn't written out so quickly. Ragako subplot was fine but predictable. Louise subplot kinda boring. Avengers assemble at the end was very anime and I liked it.

A peaceful chapter before the storm

A thought: What if Ackermans are the only ones able to actually kill off the Nine Titans? We know they’re byproducts of titan science, maybe they were created to annihilate them? That’d be devastating to see Levi or Mikasa kill Eren and Armin. I’d love it. 😂

Annie is the best girl

Anyone pretending this chapter wasn't utter shit is in hardcore denial.

Did not like the assemble. Nobody can forget what happened in the recent past of Paradis and what the warriors did. But have hope in Isayama

Do Gabi and Falco know that Armin is the Collosal Titan? I thought Connie might let that slip to them and it might create tension between Gabi and Armin but.... No. Everything about that subplot was insanely rushed, there were a lot of ways it could have played out.

Aforementioned last page quote that is so unlike SnK up to this point. Cringey and straight out of an Avengers movie, I can't believe there are people who actually like this development.

I hope Isayama isn't overworking and rushing himself to finish the manga just for the sake of finishing it this year, but I still believe he will finish SnK in a satisfactory manner that will be memorable for decades. However, this chapter as well as 125 were very disappointing and lowered my expectations considering how good the entire final arc had been up to this point.

Errrwiiiiiiiinnnn!!!!!

game of thrones level of trash, i hope for god that the aot ending isn't as bad as final season game of thrones

I didn’t like the Ragako subplot, but I did like Connie saving Armin and their heart-to/heart afterwards.

I don’t think the chapter was rushed. Glad to see Armin finally doing SOMETHING, and I hope it was more a gamble than him wanting to die. Hange’s monologue was so out of character, everyone knows Hange would never want to live in the woods, yet it looks like Hange always  gets discouraged and needs encouragement from somebody else. Seriously, that’s not the Hange we all know. Where’s the ‘defeat is all the Survey Corps ever knew, let’s kick asses!!’ Hange?? that interaction with Pieck brought some of it back thankfully

I don’t understand why everyone is complaining lol

I enjoyed how quickly it moved. We’ve been down in the doldrums since December, so I’m glad to see the characters & the pace picking back up again.

I hate how quickly Hanji becomes depressed. Armin, Jean - they overcame their doubts by themselves. Yet Hanji always needs someone else to tell them to stop being ridiculous. It’s like Levi is babysitting Hanji :/ I miss good, old, badass Hanji

I miss hitch already

I noticed that the way Floch gesticulates during his speech was very reminiscent of how Hitler gave his speeches

I really like Hanji and Levi’s friendship and how Levi always knows what to say to encourage his friends but can we please stop with Hanji being so emotionally weak? I love Hanji, but c’mon- Levi was seriously injured and still needs to treat Hanji like she’s a wounded kid. Jean came to his senses on his own, same for Armin and Mikasa. All they needed was to remember people who died, did Hanji not lose enough comrades to find her strength from? Hanji is one of two veterans left and the commander(!), it really hurts to see her so pathetic, that was hard to read. Glad she looks more like old Hanji at the end of the chapter

I wanted more Annie and Hitch adventures and feel deprived.

i wish there was more to the reunion of Annie & co, but whatever, let’s just move on with this plot.

I'm in the minority here, but I actually liked the chapter. Sure the pacing was a bit off, but this may be because we're getting a detailed explanation for it in an upcoming chapter. Other than that I find it somewhat amusing that so many people that a team-up wasn't happening. Like there was so much goddamned FORESHADOWING about it. Plus the fact that Isayama basically flat-out admitted that he was going to create a team-up a-la Guardians of the Galaxy. I'm not expecting roses and fluffiness at the end of the road, I see a lot of people dying. And I still don't know who's gonna be the victor at the end. It just seemed really clear to me where these character arcs were/are heading. I still have faith in Yams. He hasn't disappointed me yet, so let's just see what he has in store for us.

It feels like Isayama is rushing to finish it off just like Kishimoto did with Naruto Shippuuden and that makes me very sad. I'm worried he'll destroy everything he did until now.

It felt incredibly unrealistic. What I have appreciated most about SnK is its narrative integrity and ability to produce results proportional to the protagonists' abilities. Currently, this feels rather forced. When did they come up with these plans? How could they possibly have alerted Jean ahead of time without anything being shown? It feels like a cheat. Also, I don't like that its just them going after Eren. Realistically, in SnK, a small group of characters, even with their level of power, shouldn't consider going after him how they have. If anything they need to face reality and prepare for the world to come after the rumbling, since if I think anybody in their position would think it is utterly impossible to stop it.

I feel like the pacing of the chapter was this fast so that Isayama could end with the "Avengers Assemble" scene as the big volume cliffhanger for the next one, so he tried to get through the events quickly to give it that poetic ending. In that case, it's possible Isayama might show how some of these events unfolded in the next chapter or two; he usually does that kind of thing when showing big events for the first time. If the next chapter fleshes some of the scenes from this chapter more like showing Jean discussing the Avengers' plan with Mikasa and Armin, I think that could make this chapter better when we look back on it.

It was warm and fuzzy and I really needed that, but the actual details of the new alliance will absolutely need to be expounded upon soon.

It was...fine.

It wasn’t so bad, the hate is really annoying.

It's clear SNK is ending soon so before we see Eren and what else is going on with the rumbling Hisayama wants to close plots with other characters BUT IMO the price of this is giving us less hyped chapters since the walls broke and we still have to see the new Eren titan form…

Just to clarify, "Which throwback did you enjoy most chapter" is intended to be an English sentence, yes? Quality work here as usual, tumblr/reddit big-shots. I hope no one lets you guys near an actual workplace where what you do matters. (A/N: Well you didn't capitalise Tumblr or Reddit so who is the real villain here?)

Let Levi kill that ape. Please. He’s gone through so much and lost everything. Give him just this one little thing

Let's say we generally agreed that this chapter is bad.

Not nearly as bad as people say it was like Jesus heck calm down. I mostly feel bad for isayama tbh he’s probably being pressured to wrap it up and he’s not usually one to not give moments like this chapter proper time.

It's hard to say why Isayama decided to wrap up things fairly quickly, whether he has later flashbacks planned or whether he was overwhelmed with time pressure/suffered a writer's block of whatever. I think, in the end, if the rest of the story wraps up strong, it doesn't matter much.

I'm happy with what happened in this chapter, except the fact that it was rushed and Levi's plot armor, I mean Ackermann blood. He should have lost at least a leg...

The only solace I take in all of this is that the plot can finally move forward. This has been an entire volume of seemingly pointless side quests and I'm ready to focus again on the main story. Frankly, I'm exhausted. I just want answers and I want to know how the story finds resolution.

We had several excellent chapters recently, a subpar one is understandable. Hopefully the Anime will expand on it a bit

[teamhawkeye]

multiples of 5 for the oc ask? :3

thank you!

5. What OC has, like, one friend?

- Gonna say my Lone Wanderer, Kate Antilles. She’s friendly with a lot of people she meets, but they often part ways, be it from moving away or passing on. As of the FO4 timeframe, she really only has Dogmeat and Maxson left that she’s really close to.

10. What is your favorite familial relationship between your OCs?

- Definitely Kate and James from FO3. I became deeply invested in their story the first time i played it and it still makes me emotional writing about it or replaying the game and being engrossed in it again. I guess runner up would be Anna and her children, but i have written so little for them that it puts them in second, haha

15. Which OCs get along the worst with each other?

- I’m gonna cheat and say Reese and her brothers. They love and care for one another deeply, but her view on the world and her place in it started to shift from what her brothers had taught her to know and abide by, so they started clashing and butting heads prior to her joining up with Rush and leaving them all behind.

20. Which non-related OCs have known each other the longest?

-This is tough, cause most of my OCs don’t actually meet in canon, haha. Kate and Deckard meet in FO4, but know each other less than a year when those events wrap up...i’ve considered having my Courier, Jem, and Kate meet, so if that ends up becoming canon, then they would have known each other for a few years prior to FO4 events.

25. Do any OCs have imaginary friends?

- Nope (this one was super easy ahdsjasda)

(and for the ones that specify an OC, and since you picked Anna-)

30. How does OC get along with their parents?

- Prior to their deaths, Anna had a very strong, healthy relationship with her parents - she loved them dearly and was never afraid to share anything with them. Losing them

35. What is the most important relationship in OC’s life? 

- Honestly gonna say Boomer, to cheat, lmao. John is very important to her in fic, Sharky is super important to her in game canon and fic, and Hudson, Pratt, and Whitehorse are always centrally important to her in fic and game canon. Boomer is always the number one in her life, so he’s gotta take the top spot

40. Who motivates OC?

- Her colleagues and friends. So Whitehorse, Hudson, Pratt, Sharky, the Ryes, Grace, Jerome, etc.

45. How much do OC’s friends know about their private life?

- Not a whole lot, actually. She was pretty quite and kept to herself prior to the start of the Reaping, so the sheriff and fellow deputies didn’t know a whole lot more than that she was born and bred in Montana, just not in Hope County. Sharky knows the most, followed by Jess, and that’s only the small bits she’s been willing to share with them over the course of the events of FC5. (we’re gonna exclude John, who in fic knows almost everything there is to know about her, since they weren’t friends at that point, lmao)

50. What aspects of OC have, consciously or unconsciously, come from someone else?

- Her commitment to fighting and stopping the Project, her stronger sense of morality, knowing when to show mercy and when to deny it, and just overall wanting to be a better, kinder person all comes from her friends and colleagues. Anna is highly influenced by those who show her attention and affection - for better or worse.

In game canon and her FC5 fic series, she’s positively influenced in many ways by the members of the Resistance, and even the Seeds themselves (intentionally or not). In AU, she’s conversely impacted negatively impacted by the sorts she runs into on the Rook Islands and even Kyrat, and only really positively impacted by Ajay and Jason.

She’s very malleable, because she’s eager to please and can be blinded to the morality, or lack thereof, of the people who give her the recognition and chances she so desperately craves, so it’s very verse-dependent which way she skews

[emphoenixcat]

Fluttering (The Prequel)

Read the next part here

*A/N: Hi, everyone. I’m sorry it took so long, I’m still trying to get back into writing and wouldn’t you know it, my computer decides to die on me as I’m about to post it.*

Warnings: slight swearing and a little bit of yelling. Also dark sides

______________________________________________________________

“I don’t know why you have to make such a big deal out of everything! Not everything is the end of the world, you know!”

Anxiety retreated deeper into his hoodie as the prince glared daggers at him. If looks could kill, he was sure he would be dead by now. Despite the agitated feeling rising up inside him, the anxious side pushed himself to finish his side of the argument, no matter how useless it seemed. 

“Look, Roman. This is the first time Thomas has ever driven, the first time he’s ever been in control, the first time his life will be in his own hands,” without his consent, Anxiety’s voice distorted.

Roman crossed his arms, “Oh, what nonsense! His life has been in his own hands many times. Besides, we’re only a part of him. So contrary to what you may think of me, I am not solely responsible for putting ‘senseless’ dreams in his head.”

Anxiety rubbed at his temples, “This isn’t about you, Princey. I’m worried about Thomas’ wellbeing. I just don’t want him getting into any accidents--”

“And you think he isn’t at risk when he’s in the passenger seat? Because he is, it doesn’t make a damn difference. All I know is that he has to rely on other people to get him around. He’s unhappy, Anxiety. He wants more. He can’t get anywhere in life by waiting around all the time.”

“I KNOW!” Anxiety shuddered at the sound of his own voice, distorted and unrecognizable and thundering to his own ears. He had been staring at the ground, contemplating the creative side’s words when it had all just become too much for him. It didn’t really matter how much he tried, his voice was always drowned out by others. So much so, that he couldn’t get them to understand his words’ meaning. It was becoming too difficult to focus, the worries overtaking his well-thought-out rationale. Taking a deep breath to steady himself, he dared to peer up at the princely side.

Roman’s jaws were clenched, his eyes unreadable. “If you think you can scare me or the others into submission, it won’t work.”

Anxiety’s eyes widened, “I--I wasn’t--I didn’t mean--”

“The others think we should let you have a say. They think that you mean well most of the time despite you disagreeing with nearly every decision we make; relationships, acting, singing, parties, school, work, and art. No matter what it is, you find a problem with it!” Roman dramatically threw his arms up in the air and scowled causing Anxiety to shiver as his stomach did disconcerted flips; he dared not speak a word.

The prince’s eyes hardened and he turned away, “Well, I’m not buying it. You’re no different from the other dark sides, all you do is lie and destroy. And all you’ll ever be is evil.”

The royal side sunk out, leaving Anxiety alone with those words reverberating throughout his skull. Each word seemed to send shockwaves through his system and he shuddered, unable to hold himself back anymore. 

The sound of thunder shook the mindscape.

Oh no. No, no, no, no, no. Not now, not here.

Anxiety realized he was still standing in the Light Sides’ part of the mindscape, and he was certain they could hear the storm coming. He just hoped they didn’t discover the source of the storm before he managed to slip away.

Clouds were beginning to form over his head, darkening and expanding with every passing second. The vigilant side closed his eyes, breathing hard. He needed to calm down enough in order to sink out of this side of the Mindscape.

All you do is lie and destroy.

Lightning struck, hitting a lamp on a nearby table and shattering glass all around the room. Anxiety covered his ears and bit back a sob, desperately trying to regain some sort of control over his emotions. Focus. Just calm down and focus.

All you’ll ever be is evil.

The cautious side didn’t dare open his eyes as he felt a sudden frightful flurry of wind rush past him, the unmistakable sound of destruction quickly following its unwelcome arrival. He shuddered to think of what damage his mere presence had caused. 

“My, oh my. Looks like I arrived just in the nick of time.”

Anxiety flinched at the unexpected voice, the realization that he was no longer alone startling him out of his thoughts. He blinked up at the yellow-clad side. Deceit smiled back at him, “What? You didn’t think I would miss out on the show, did you? The friendship between you and Creativity is truly heartwarming, certainly not dramatic and entertaining at all.”

“Are you telling me, you’ve been here this whole time and you only decided to help now?” he glared.

The deceitful side laughed, “Oh, Anx. Don’t tell me you wanted to leave their part of the mindscape unscathed after an argument like that. They surely don’t deserve a little disruption and chaos in their perfect little lives.”

“Whatever, can you just help me out here?”

“Of course not, darling,” the snake-like side said as he offered a golden gloved hand. As soon as their hands touched, the mindscape shifted around them, becoming darker and less pristine. The anxious side let himself relax slightly at the sight of the usual cobwebs decorating the halls, the amassing heaps of clutter courtesy of The Duke, the collection of snake skins from Dee’s many pets, and the darker color scheme lined with bright yellows and sickly greens. It was always an odd sort of comfort to be back in this part of the mindscape.

“DEATH AND DESTRUCTION ARE WHAT FUEL YOUR EXISTENCE!”

Then again….

Anxiety let out a loud exasperated sigh, “Hello, Remus.”

The chaotic side bounced and twirled around his anxious counterpart, giving him a headache. The Duke didn’t seem to mind the rain that was beginning to pour from a dark storm cloud situated above the anxious one’s head as he pointed a disgustingly unmanicured finger in Anxiety’s face, “You wouldn’t exist if there weren’t endless possibilities of pain, suffering, and ultimately death. Tell me, how does that make you feel?”

The anxious side nearly growled.

“Don’t.”

“Hmm, what a strange feeling,” the intrusive side laughed before taking a bite out of a deodorant stick.

Anxiety wrinkled his nose and pulled up his hood, ready to turn away from Remus and his shenanigans. However, as he turned away, a familiar lemon-hued glove touched his shoulder. “Why doesn’t my favorite worry wart tell me what is clouding his thoughts? This is totally usual of you,” Deceit tilted his head, conjuring a black and yellow umbrella as he eyed the storm clouds curiously. 

The anxious side ignored the pun at his expense, “Why do you care?”

“My dear Anxiety, of course I don’t care. What concerns Thomas, doesn’t concern all of us.”

“Oh, for the love of--can’t you just speak normally?”

Deceit glared, “Fine. Short and simple, I agree that Thomas does not need to learn to drive.”

“Y--you do?” Anxiety raised an eyebrow skeptically.

The two-faced side crossed his arms, flourishing a gloved hand every so often as if to punctuate his point, “He already has friends and family that he relies on to get him from A to B.” 

“A, C, F, E, Q, R, T, Y, Zeeeeee!” Remus screamed before face-planting into the ground.

Dee rolled his eyes, “And if they ever fail him, there is such a thing as public transportation.”

“blehgGerms!” cried the intrusive side, face still buried in the carpet.

“Ignore him, please. Look, what I am trying to say is that Thomas is only wanting to drive because that is what other ‘adults’ are pressuring him to do. It’s what they expect him to do.”

“I don’t know, Dee. It seems like he really wants to.”

“Fight him on it, you have the power to make him realize that he doesn’t actually want it. You can bring that overconfident buffoon of a prince down from his throne.”

The Duke chortled, finally getting up from the floor, only to fall back down on his butt. “Bring him down, down, down, dooooown!” he sang.

“I don’t care about the prince, I care about Thomas. And...”  Anxiety pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation, “...as much as I hate to admit it, the prince is a part of him. He literally represents his hopes and dreams, he knows what Thomas wants. I can’t just ignore that, Dee.”

 “Thomas has no idea what he wants!”

“What? And you think you do?”

Deceit got closer, his umbrella vanishing as his gloved hands gripped Anxiety’s shoulders. The apprehensive side tried backing away, but his two-faced counterpart only tightened his hold on him. “I am only trying to do my job, Anx. It doesn’t matter what is true or what is not true. You might not see it precisely as I do, but a lie can be for the greater good. We all lie to ourselves, you think that our Imagination cannot be distorted? That Logic cannot be skewed? That Morals cannot be corrupted? I am only asking you to do your job as I am, and protect Thomas no matter the cost.”

“I am Anxiety, NOT his anxiety disorder!” Virgil pushed the deceitful side away, a massive roar of thunder made the mindscape quake. A flash of light followed soon after, crackling across the room like bright violet veins running across the ceiling. Anxiety was scared, but for the first time in a long time, he felt powerful in a way that he couldn’t describe. Dee was right about one thing, he could force Thomas to listen. He could make him as anxious as he was right now. However, none of it mattered if it meant Thomas would end up living his entire life in fear, never able to fulfill his hopes and dreams. The Light Sides would hate him even more. The Dark Sides would probably hate him too. Eventually, Deceit would realize that Thomas can’t lie his way to the top or break away from societal norms with Anxiety ruling over his life. Yes, Thomas would hate Anxiety with every fiber of his being.

But he needed to be protected. 

The vigilant side stared down at Deceit, surprised to find that his scaly face had gone ashen. Even Remus looked perturbed, choosing to remain as silent as humanly possible. A cloudburst now bombarded them, completely soaking everyone and everything within the mindscape as harsh whirlwinds flew about the room. Not one item remained undisturbed by the severe squall.

A voice rose above the storm, shouting to be heard, “What is it gonna take to make y’all shut up so I can get my beauty rest?” The newcomer held a pink and black umbrella in one hand and a fancy caffeinated drink in the other.

The wind died down a bit, surprised at the interruption. Anxiety and Deceit turned to the newcomer, speechless. The Duke, however, jumped up and stomped his feet, “I refuse naptime!” And with that, the intrusive side ran out of the room.

The other side simply laughed and sipped his drink, looking unbothered by the statement. He didn’t even seem disturbed by the chaos in which he found himself in.

“What are YOU doing here?” Dee snapped when the side continued to sip his drink and say nothing.

“Can’t a fellow dark side join in on the party?”

“Sure, you can,” the deceitful side rolled his eyes, “You bring so much to the table and you’re always on time.”

“Aww, Deedee! That’s what I love to hear!”

The two-faced side glowered, “Don’t call me that!”

Remy smiled cheekily, “So you mean do call you that?” He loudly sipped his drink down to the last drop as Deceit stomped away to his room.

Anxiety couldn’t help but smile, Rem always knew how to get on the others’ nerves. It was one of the things he liked about him. He didn’t consider Remy much of a dark side, none of them did really. Remy represented the more lazy aspect of Thomas though, and Anxiety figured that that was the reason he was bunched in with the dark sides. People seldom like the inactive part of themselves. There were many times where Thomas felt like he could get more things done without Sleep.

With Deceit gone, Rem turned his attention to Anxiety. Tiny tornadoes still whooshed about the room, but they were less destructive now and not quite as terrifying as before.

“Gurl, we need to talk.”

                              ______________________________

Remy yawned and plopped down on a hot pink bean bag and patted the purple one next to him until the anxious side timidly sat down. Despite being in Rem’s room many times before, Anxiety was always surprised by how the weight lifted from his shoulders ever so slightly as he nestled comfortably in the cushy bean bag that seemed almost made for him. The sleepy side’s room was mostly an array of pillow forts and comfy lounge chairs. There was a mini bar in the right-hand corner of the room that specialized in coffee drinks and cocoa. In the left-hand corner, there was a huge mirror with an array of make-up on the counter and a back-massage chair and foot bath in front of it. From where they sat in the back of the room, there was a large TV with nearly every gaming console you could imagine. Everything in Sleep’s room was designed for absolute comfort. Even the carpet was super soft to the touch.  

“Okay, spill.”

“Wha--what?” 

Rem nodded toward the grey clouds and mini gusts of wind that had followed them, “You can’t be conjuring up a storm and then be telling me that nothing is up. What d’ya take me for?”

“Oh okay. I guess it’ll help if I talk to you about it. Gotta be better than talking to Princey or Deceit about it.”

“But not better than talking to Remus about it?” Remy pouted, “I can’t believe it!”

Anxiety smirked, “You know that’s not true.”

Sleep grinned, “Then speak, gurl, speak!”

So the vigilant side told Rem everything that had happened, starting with his argument with the prince. He told him about how the words were still echoing around in his head at this very moment, how he felt like he was holding Thomas back, and about how he couldn’t help himself because when he closed his eyes all he could see was Thomas getting hurt in an accident of some sort.

Surprisingly, Remy stayed quiet throughout it all. Nodding slightly as he took it all in. It wasn’t until the very end, that he said anything. 

“So do you believe what he said?”

“Who? Deceit? Nah, of course not. He just wants me to follow his own agenda.”

“Not Deceit. Princey. Do you believe what he said about you?”

Anxiety studied his hands for a moment, “All I do is lie and destroy. All I’ll ever be is evil.” He looked up, surprised to see that Rem’s sunglasses were off and that the other side was studying his face with his piercingly dark eyes. “What if--what if I do believe it?”

Remy sighed, “Deceit was right about one thing. The imagination can be distorted and that, among other things, is the prince’s domain.”

The anxious side’s brows furrowed, “What are you saying? Are you agreeing with Deceit?”

“Calm down, gurl. I am agreeing with a point he made. I am not agreeing with him entirely. Princey lives in a land of romanticism and fantasy. He sees himself as the hero and he is quick to judge whether something is good or evil. In a way, you are both doing the same thing. Right now, he sees you as a danger to Thomas just like how you see driving as a danger to Thomas. All in all, he does not hate you. He hates the unknown.”

“How can the embodiment of Thomas’ confidence and imagination hate the unknown?” Anxiety asked skeptically.

“You remind him that there are things to be scared of and it is that simple. You can’t take what he said to heart when he’s saying it out of fear.”

“Well, I guess you’re right.” 

As the vigilant side’s voice finally went back to normal, so did the clouds that had been following him all day long. Instead of the deep grey they had been in the presence of the other dark sides, they were now a pleasant cream color and the rain had calmed to a light drizzle.

Sleep smiled, “Of course I’m right, darling. In fact, I bet that one day he’ll see that he was wrong about you. Cuz if anyone was gonna switch over to the light side’s. It’d be you, kid.”

“No way. They may apologize to you and you might become a light side one day, but I don’t see that ever happening to me. There’s no way in hell.”

“You’d be surprised, gurl. You’d be surprised.”

“Whatevs, Rem.”

Anxiety didn’t quite believe his crazy friend, but he felt a stubborn sense of hope rising up inside of him. The tornadoes turned into zephyrs, the rain stopped pouring, and the cloud above his head broke apart forming something else entirely. The anxious side and sleep-inducing side squinted as the strange figures began to move and make strange fluttering noises, colors changing from white to yellow to orange to pink before settling on purple.

Remy smirked at Anxiety’s stunned expression, “Every storm has it’s rainbow and one day they’re gonna see that.”

______________________________________________________________

General Tag List: @ultimate-queen-of-fandoms @anxious-but-whatever @tellmehowtoexist @maizieandbirds @theresneverenoughfandoms @grumpymoonbird @lizaelsparrow @jellopuffs

[squishedwalkman]

fanfic repost - a world in which miles morales isn’t a hero but still an artist

It took a long time for the news to hit the main outlets. After all, the death of Tony Stark seemed small in comparison to the chaos that followed the sudden reappearance of half the population. People tried to focus on one thing at a time: first the tearful greetings of those who returned, then the repair of the most major of the catastrophes, and then the first initial days of panic when people couldn’t bear to be apart from one another. But slowly, slowly, as the healing began, news began to trickle forward.  Things began to come to light: people still missing after the snap, the damage left behind by unmanned power plants, the environmental effects that losing half the population had on a world crippled by loss. 

Miles found the first couple days hard. And then the first couple weeks. He returned to school, but nothing was the same. There was a joy shining in the air at being reunited with the people he loved, but a darkness too, since he had lived a 5 year span that they had not. He left friends behind in middle school as he began his senior year. His mom was back, but he was taller than her now. The principal had died of cancer within those 5 years, and so his old school wasn’t the same. It hurt, and Miles didn’t know if he could ever heal.

But he found a way. And a month passed. And somehow, if he paid close enough attention, he could see the emotional wounds beginning to close. It would be a long time yet, but already the sun rose brighter than before.

32 days after the Dusted had returned, and 15 days after the rumors surrounding the Avenger’s place in restoring the world began to spread, the news broke. Pepper Potts, reddened and puffy eyes cleverly disguised by makeup, addressed the world in a video exactly 53 seconds long. It was live streamed directly into Miles’s classroom, and as the first words echoed out into the silent room, every student held their breath. 

“Unfortunately, I have the… deepest sorrow in informing you all that Tony Edward Stark, head of Stark industries, and my beloved husband…. has passed away.” She took a shuddering breath before continuing. “Tony died a hero: he fought until the last moment of the battle. He was not only courageous in the final attack on Thanos, but throughout his entire life. Although many of you may have received a skewed image of who he was through media, rumors, or propaganda, I can assure you that Tony died a man of honor and valor. He had a heart for helping and mentoring others, and his death was not the only sacrifice that he had given in his life time. Tony loved this world very much, but it never loved him back. Our family is grateful for your anticipated support, and for the support of many of you throughout Tony’s lifetime. He would be grateful to see you all now. Live on, for him. Remember, we are Iron Man.” 

The camera cut just after tears sprung to Pepper’s eyes, and she began to turn to hide her face from view. At the same time, it seemed something happened to every heart in the school. In the world.

Tony Stark was dead.

Miles’s heart dropped. His throat seized, and suddenly tears sprang to his tired eyes. Glancing down at the worn wooden desktop, he squeezed his hands together and shut his eyes even tighter. One brief moment to choke down the tears, and he raised his head again. 

Tony Stark. Gone.

Miles’s mind flickered back to his bedroom: above his bed hung a poster of Iron Man himself, palms open to the sky, light emitting in powerful beams to the jet planes that soared above. For a long time Miles had admired the man behind the machine who defended the world. He admired all of heroes, but something about Tony always drew him in. Maybe it was the fact that he too had come from a place of immense pressure, of mistakes, but had found a way to rise above it. Or maybe it was simply because of the creativity associated with creating a suit so incredibly complicated and powerful.

Now that he thought of it, though, Miles hadn’t considered Tony Stark since the snap. A hero in the sky seemed far less real than the tangible, heartbreaking hurt surrounding the broken world he knew now. But the love, the devotion, the admiration he felt for the iron soldier quickly flooded back to him. And then the loss.

It hurt. 

My goodness, it hurt.

The rest of the school day went by in a haze. No one talked much in class. The classrooms seemed darker, the lessons petered out long before the period was over, and the walk home was silent, broken only by the occasional attempt at a joke by someone in the crowd. 

Miles tried to do his homework. He really did. But he couldn’t seem to write about anything so simple as literature books and physics when one of his heroes had died. He thought he would cry, but he tears refused to come to his eyes. The pencil in his fingers twirled, and the light outside slowly faded from a golden light the color of Iron Man’s thrusters to the rusted red of his suit, to the eventual fading purple of the galaxy he had disappeared into.

He tried to listen to sad music. To let the emotion flow out of him into lyrics. He tried to write a letter to Stark, but it ended in crumbled paper. There was only one other option. Something he said he wouldn’t do anymore, that he had promised his parents he wouldn’t do anymore… but it just felt right.

Before Miles could stop himself, he was pulling on his jacket and closing the bedroom door quietly behind him. Tiptoeing down the stairs, leaping nimbly over the creaking step, he slipped through the front door and into the fading light outside. 

The air outside was cool but not cold. Nonetheless, Miles pulled his hoodie over his head and walked with his head down. He knew where he was going: he had mapped the place out in his head a thousand times when he was bored in class, imagining what he would put there one day. He passed doorways, parked cars glinting in the last lingering rays of sun, and across streets devoid of pedestrians. Further and further into the city he traveled for a good half-an-hour, until finally his feet brought him to a stop in front of a building four stories tall. 

Pausing, Miles looked up at the sun-faded walls, the wooden doors, and the fire escape climbing ever upward. He had been here once before with his paints. He had planned on painting that day, but his conscious got the better of him, and he decided not to. It was going to be a self portrait. But this was different. 

Swiftly, as if he had done it a thousand times, Miles swung up onto the side of the building, into a fire escape, and clambered upward. The side of a building that stood flush to the one he stood on was blank, and the emotion pressing in Miles’s chest needed to be turned into art.

“I need this,” he whispered on the roof of the building, silhouetted against the quickly darkening sky. “We all need this.”

He set to work. Colors moved through his hands like magic, a spell being cast over the side of the building as best as he could. As the music played from his iphone, as the emotion pounded in his chest, the thoughts in his head were transformed into a portrait of the man he admired. The person who defended the Universe until his very last breath. Color began to come together and details came to shape.

As the light faded from the sky, the picture came alive. A tribute to a hero. Not only a picture for Miles, but a picture to be remembered for years to come. In the piece of art, Miles poured every memory he associated with his favorite hero, every moment he had seen him on the television, had known he was safe in a world with Iron Man, every time he had seen pictures of Stark when he was younger, had known he could do everything Tony could do, every time he had been inspired, and the one time he had seen the rocket of gold and red from the corner of his eye, disappearing behind a building nearby. 

It took well into the night, but finally the portrait was finished. It shone beneath the roof lights pointed at it, like a beacon in the dark, proof that Tony Stark had touched the heart of a young boy he never met. 

Then Miles cried. 

He buried his head in his hands and retreated to a distance to see the picture illuminated as if suspended against the sky. As he looked at the picture, trying to soak up the moment of grief, trying to find a way to continue on in a time when even heroes died, a distant noise interrupted his shaking breath.

Crouched a rooftop away, Miles could see a distant shape approaching. Miles was hidden in the growing darkness, and his hoodie kept him in shadow. But swinging through the buildings came the new hero people had just begun to know: Spiderman.

His webs shone under the moonlight, spitting out and then retracting as he moved faster than the cars below towards the mural. Onward, onward, and then past. He kept swinging off into the night.

And then, a pause in sound. And then a continuation of the webs, but approaching again. Miles held his breath and tried to appear as small as he could. Spiderman came back again, swinging smoothly onto the rooftop, and pausing.

He crouched in front of the still-drying painting. 

There was silence. Miles tried to control his breathing.

Spiderman was looking, and he didn’t move. Seconds stretched into minutes. Just as Miles wondered if he would ever leave, he could hear something muffled, through the darkness, coming from Spiderman.

The hero was crying. Crying.

Miles felt something break in his chest. He couldn’t explain it, but the sight of one hero grieving another crushed something within him. All of a sudden he longed to rush out and talk to the masked man in front of him. But as the sobs died down, Spiderman did something else.

He removed his mask. 

Miles had to hold in a gasp as the face of a young teenager came into view. No older than Miles, Spiderman was still a kid. And, as Miles looked closer, the face seemed strangely familiar. No… it was impossible. There was no way Spiderman himself was Peter Parker, school nerd and newly appointed Captain of Academic League. There was no way. No possible way.

Miles heart was pounding with his discovery. He couldn’t believe it. He had to tell Gwen. He had to get home, he had to tell his parents.

But even as these thoughts raced through his mind, another though arose: “there is no way I could ever betray Peter like this.” And this thought trampled the others, and Miles knew it was right. He could not spread such a secret as this. It was greater than a simple identity. He may not know Peter personally, but the idea of telling everyone something he had tried to hide for so long was despicable.

So, content with the fact that he had no great news to share, Miles was free to once more to consider the fact that Spiderman himself was beside him. And as Peter Parker himself let tears roll down his cheeks, shoulders shaking, Miles cried to, to be surrounded by two of the heroes that had protected him for so long. And separated by only a few feet, hidden from one another, two teenage boys cried silently for the biggest hero in their lives.

For the rest of Peter Parker’s life, he would never know that he had shared such a moment with a teenager who had needed Iron Man just as much as him.