#and xena had gotten to THE FUCKING POINT

[girl4music]

Sometimes I cry at the sheer audacity of this moment. Then I sit in thoughtful silence and smile at how fitting it is. How right it is that she would be the only other owner of it. The only other worthy of being its owner.

I do wonder though that if the dark chakram had never been neutralised, would Gabrielle have been able to wield it at all? Because as far as we know the only characters that can both catch and throw it are Xena, Callisto and Eve. But you never see proof that Eve could have thrown and caught the dark chakram on account of she wasn’t born when it was neutralised with the light chakram. You just take it on faith that Eve would have been able to due to her being Callisto reincarnated and, obviously, Xena’s biological daughter. So therefore it makes me wonder…

Was Gabrielle the true owner of the light chakram? Could she also have been able to pick it up without burning to cinders? Because let’s be frank about this…

Xena had lost her sense of self when she picked it up off the altar in the Tao temple. She didn’t know who she was. She was a blank slate. It was the altar’s creator that recognized her as the owner of the dark chakram, which allowed her to be able to pick the light chakram up. But odds are that she wouldn’t have been able to wield it without it being neutralised anyway. But given the fact that Gabrielle could wield the yin-yang chakram, I think it’s very fucking possible she was the owner of the light chakram instead of Xena.

I mean regardless of how intertwined Xena and Gabrielle were in past, present and future… I don’t think Gabrielle could have ever instinctively been able to wield the yin-yang chakram if she wasn’t already the owner of at least half of it. The light half of it. And I would go as far as to say that that's how she was able to. Because she always could. She just never knew it.

And had Tapert gotten his spin off show of ‘Gabrielle: Warrior Princess’ he would have explored this subject.

It could simply be that the reason Gabrielle could wield the yin-yang chakram instinctively was because Xena could, and Xena - the body - was no longer around but the soul’s essence lived on in Gabrielle. That’s cute and all but that doesn’t really explain it.

What could is that she was always the owner of it. But it took meeting and being with Xena in that lifetime for her to come to the reality where she would wield it. We always talk about how essential it was for Xena to meet Gabrielle for her to change the way that she did. But I say it was just as essential for Gabrielle to meet Xena because Gabrielle wasn’t who she was meant to be either without her, and certainly wouldn’t have become the exceptional warrior she ended up as.

Soulmates or ‘one soul in two bodies’, as I refer to it…

It means so much more than just the relationship factor. It’s all about how it affects the individual as well. All about how one changes because of the other. Which is why I always say that there’s got to be more than one soulmate for everyone. However Plato would disagree with me on that. And in a Greek background, it’s only appropriate that Xena and Gabrielle are the one and only half for each other - as the story goes…

But it’s just something to think about that it isn’t just because of THAT why Gabrielle could wield the yin-yang chakram. Perhaps it was that she was always meant to but would have never gotten to the point of doing so without meeting, travelling with and falling in love with the true owner of the dark chakram. Xena.

Maybe - just maybe - the yin-yang chakram is symbolic for the journey that these two individuals go on together because both of them are the owners of it BOTH when it was neutralised AND when it wasn’t.

Think about it. It makes more sense than you realize.

[cha-melodius]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks to @ninzied for the tag!

How many works do you have on ao3?

120!

What's your total ao3 word count?

1,371,932

What fandoms do you write for?

RWRB, TMFU, Lokius

Top five fics by kudos:

Please Don't Let Me Be So Understood

Nova, Baby

Class(room) Warfare

All the Old Showstoppers

Always Where I Need To Be

Do you respond to comments?

I try. I used to be very good at responding but my backlog has gotten extreme (1491 unanswered comments as of right now, if you're curious) so at this point I pretty much only answer if it's a chapter in an ongoing multichap, or someone asks a question.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I have a caradin fic that's straight up a break-up fic with no resolution, but I still feel like my angstiest is probably Black Moon (napollya), because they're in love but the situation is so fucking bleak. Sorry guys.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Any of them that end with a proposal lol? I've got a lot of fluffy fics and all of my long fics end with pure fluff, so I don't think I could pick out one.

Do you get hate on fics?

I have been lucky not to really get any, at least lately. I've gotten... less than polite comments, of course, but no outright hate (knock on wood).

Do you write smut?

Yes, although I would not say it's an integral part of my writing tbh.

Craziest crossover:

Craziest might be Maybe, This Time, which is a Mandalorian/BSG crossover that involves dimension-hopping lol.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! I've had a few of my TMFU works translated and now there's someone in the RWRB fandom that translates most (!!) of my fics into Mandarin, which is mind blowing and flattering and I'm so grateful because I've gotten comments from people who have read them translated and loved them.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not yet!

All time favorite ship?

I don't think I can pick one; some of my past ships are just that—past—but there are a few I will carry in my heart forever.

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

If I want to finish it, I will, even if it takes a long time. I might stop wanting to finish a wip, but that's not the question is it?

What are your writing strengths?

Banter/dialogue, action, pacing, plots. People have told me that they can picture my scenes like a movie because of the description and that makes me feel good.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Although I have my moments, I don't really tend to think of my writing as beautiful. I'm just not that poetic/lyrical.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Sure! If it's in my own fic I usually have a native speaker look over it (I haven't done this lately but I have gotten Russian consults for TMFU fics).

First fandom you wrote in?

Xena: Warrior Princess, back when that show was airing. Fanfic primarily distributed over internet mailing lists and posted on your own website.

Favorite fic you've written?

Stealing Nina's idea and doing one in each of my main fandoms I've written in because it's hard to pick (even then this was rough).

Nova, Baby Series—Spy AU, Firstprince

Love is a Losing Game—Chess AU, Napollya (SHOCKER I KNOW)

What Makes a Good Man Series—Spy AU, Lokius

Here It Goes Again—The Mandalorian (Caradin but mostly Din character study in a time loop)

I'm not sure who's been tagged and who hasn't or even everyone who has done this, but a few tags below the cut. If you'd like to do it, jump in!

@kiwiana-writes, @rmd-writes, @three-drink-amy, @cricketnationrise, @14carrotghoul

@leaves-of-laurelin, @tintagel-or-cockleshells, @inexplicablymine, @firenati0n, @liminalmemories21

@orchidscript, @sparklepocalypse, @loki-is-my-kink-awakening, @mirilyawrites, @heytheredeann

@nicijones, @justabigoldnerd, @myheartalivewrites

[reigningqueenofwords]

Fucks

I've been trying to work on my mental health and shit lately. Part of that includes doing a reread of a few books I own: Unfuck Yourself, the Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, and You Are a Badass.

Not getting into detail about all of them, but one main point of the Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck is actually choosing what to give a fuck about. It's not saying be an indifferent asshole. It's saying that you need to make your fucks count. Like, do you really need to give a fuck that some guy online thinks you're weird? Not really. There's no point. But should you give a fuck about that weird thing your back has been doing? Probably. See what I'm saying?

My entire life I've given too many fucks about shit that I have no need to give a fuck about. What's that gotten me? Anxiety. A lot of fucking anxiety.

Last night, as I cuddled Xena in bed, I was thinking this over.

And I realized...I am not going to give a fuck about my writing anymore. I'm not going to stress over it. I get so worked up about getting work out that I get writer's block. I get so worked out to keep updating things ASAP. And why? For 4 likes, MAYBE a reblog, and the rare comment? "Write because you love it!" Because I know I'll hear that tired ass line. You know what? That's only part of it. You know what I love? Honestly (because one thing I will keep giving a fuck about is honest, but like...being totally honest), the validation. I love when people interact with my work. I love when I put something I worked on out where and people go bonkers over it. Why would I keep giving a fuck when I post it and get...crickets?

I'm not saying I'm quitting, either. I'm simply just choosing to write when the mood hits. No more sitting here and going "I need to write 500 words by tonight". I'll still update fics that are already written, though. That takes no fucks and no efforts lmao

I had another thought, but I have other things to do. And, frankly...I'd rather go do those things.

Also, rewatching Supernatural for the millionth time. I think the boys would be proud of me for choosing to not stress over silly shit. :)

[explosionshark]

Your turn!

It's halfway through the year! Got any favorite albums/books/tv shows/whatever to recommend?

thanks to you @badwolfwho1 who both asked me!

music:

right off the top i'm gonna recommend 3 pop albums bc i almost never have this many TO recommend. but tei shi's valerie, empress of's for your consideration, and shygirl's club shy EP have all been on constant repeat for me this year.

big year for metal also - in particular crypt sermon, job for a cowboy, darkest hour, gatecreeper, aborted and tzompantli were all incredible. i feel like between seeing them live and the release of cure, this is the first time erra has really clicked for me and i'm loving it.

for post-hardcore i've loved the debut LPs by with sails aheads and your ghost in glass. the EP lonely people by love rarely was on repeat for me for weeks also - really great stuff.

i got heaven by mannequin pussy slaps too. and i also really, really want to recommend you could do it tonight by couch slut - if you love the queasy, depraved noise that chat pile make, you absolutely should be listening to couch slut.

i threw a couple little playlists together to roundup some of my faves:

(extended version here)

honorable mention: as was really apparent from my charts this year, i spent A LOT of time listening to the saosin s/t again. but also got really back into grouper this year - especially her 2021 album shade, which i missed entirely when it came out.

books:

okay for music i focused mostly on 2024 releases but for books i won't be so strict.

shirley jackson: a rather haunted life by ruth franklin was REALLY good and provided a lot of great insight into jackson's work and also just had some really interesting history in it. really enjoyed it.

hit so hard by patty schemel a rock music and addiction memoir by the drummer of Hole. very dark and upsetting at points, but compelling. was very illuminating re: the 90s seattle music scene and the drug culture around it, provided a lot of context and detail to some stuff i thought i already knew about. really great stuff.

penance by eliza clark - this is a fake true crime book that REALLY got under my skin. it's a meta commentary on true crime as a fandom and an industry and the exploitation inherent in it. it's a mirror to make you stare at your own internal biases. it's SO fucking 2014 tumblr. i've gotten like three other people to read it and they all went insane like me. highly recommended.

hex by thomas olde heuvelt - very late to the party on this one but i loved it. translated AND localized from dutch, with very interesting results. almost goofy to start and ends up totally bleak. i adored it.

magic for beginners and white cat, black dog by kelly link - REALLY falling in love with kelly link this year. read these two and currently re-reading stranger things happen and i just adore her style. weird but SO heartfelt, surreal and dreamy, as often horrifying as it is sweet. she's so talented, i'm really excited to read the book of love later this year.

between two fires by christopher buehlman - FINALLY read this and i loved it. absolutely deserves the hype. kinda wild that dark ages horror isn't more of a thing? i re-read buehlman's the blacktongue thief too and really loved it, definitely cemented it as one of my favorite fantasy books. i'm reading the daughters' war now and enjoying it a lot.

i also re-read the golden enclaves by naomi novik and had such a great time with it.

tv shows:

finished my buffy re-watch! been watching a ton of xena with @holdsteady and @nataliving this year too - we just finished s3 and it was insane and i loved it soooo much.

i watched under the bridge and thought it was very good, but i'd recommend people learn a little about the real reena virk case before engaging.

hacks season 3 was INSANE it made me crazy i loved it so much.

haven't watched much tv aside from that!

[keyofjetwolf]

There it is. The first time Xena’s chosen someone over Gabrielle, and it goes about as well as you expect. My memories (which may be inaccurate, it’s been a loooong time) still assert that Gabby will claim jealousy as her motivator for what comes next, but I’m still calling bullshit on that until proven otherwise. I’m sticking with hurt and anger as her primary reasons, but I’m wiling to add a new one:

Fear.

This isn’t just the first time that Xena chooses someone and something over Gabrielle, it also marks the first time that Gabrielle hasn’t been able to convince Xena to pull back. She’s absolutely immutably set on this path, on murdering Ming Tien. Nothing and no one is swaying her, and I think that before this moment, Gabby would’ve laid every dinar she had that she’d always be able to persuade Xena to see things her way. Now she knows that’s not true, and her already shaky ground quakes again. If Xena can come this far and willingly fall so easily, what chance does Gabrielle have? Maybe even worse, failure to convince once opens the door to future failure. if Xena’s this steadfast in her course, what will she do if she sees through Gabrielle’s lies about Hope? Has she already? 

I think there’s a lot that goes into the choices Gabby will make next, but not least among them is a desperation to MAKE Xena see that killing Ming Tien is wrong, the end, full stop. That’s the only guarantee of safety that matters, not just for Hope, but for Gabrielle herself.

But Xena -- beautiful, bull-headed Xena, still thinks this is the naïve girl from Potidea, too innocent and pure for the world, unable to grasp these moral complexities and whose rejection Xena was always, deep down, expecting one day.

[zairas-realm-gateway]

Because of my feral hyperfixation on Bruce Campbell (that apparently has been mounting slowly since childhood), my sister and I often discuss his many characters. Because Bruce is such a charismatic and varied actor, we love discussing the flare he gives to those characters.

More specifically, the sexual and/or gender identities of those characters based on how Bruce plays them. In this post I primarily want to talk about Brisco but I feel like I have to talk about a few others first. Just a couple because my sister and I constantly talk about these characters’ identities.

First up is the lovely Charles Travis (From Congo 1995, for those that don’t know). My personal obsession since childhood, god I want to kiss him. *cough* ignore that...

In the unfortunately, very short time we have with Charlie, he definitely gives off straight vibes. But these are non-toxic straight vibes. Despite being exhausted and stranded in the middle of the Congo, he’s got a bright, friendly disposition and you can hear his chemistry with Karen in the short conversation they have. Honestly, we needed more of him but this post isn’t about that... anyway, Charles is a sweet straight/cis man who may or may not have daddy issues because he let his asshole father send him to the Congo for no good fucking reason!

-

Up next is an easy and familiar choice: Ash Williams, the man who got bitchslapped by destiny and has three kids. 

There’s a lot of content with Ash. You really get to see his chemistry with other characters. I won’t get super deep into it because so many other Tumblr authors

have described it in far more detail but Ash gives off the opposite of straight vibes. The man is definitely giving off bisexual vibes. Ash loved all his girlfriends very much and had excellent chemistry with them. But Ash also has a soft, overly friendly vibe with other guys such as Scotty and Chet. The particular touchy-feely, constantly stealing long glances at each other vibes that Ash shares with Chet is what I’ve talking about. Also, there’s the obvious headcanon that Ash is trans, which I love. The entire series is full of evidence of Ash being trans but I also like to look to the second season of AvED for evidence. The dialog in that season, especially when talking with Brock and Cheryl, is incredibly trans-coded. Go check it out, it’s a great show.

-

Also, honorable mention before I get to Brisco: Autolycus

I haven’t gotten to the part of Xena with him yet but already I can tell you that this man is decidedly not straight. Like literally every other character in this show, this man is some intense flavor of queer.

-

Alrighty, enough of that.

On to Brisco!

Brisco County Jr, the sweetheart cowboy who always looks towards the future.

The past several days I’ve been thinking a lot about Brisco. Why? Because I fell head-over-heels for his disheveled ass, shut up! Now, I would like to say that at the point of writing this, I have only seen the first few episodes but there’s been enough context there for me to really think about this. I know that Brisco gets a girlfriend later in the series/season (he’s a male 90′s MC, it was mandatory he gets one). That being said, I see Brisco as being Gay/Ace with intense top energy (his constant confidence and self-assured aura). 

In like the three episodes I have seen of Brisco, this man has zero (0) romantic vibes with any of the women. His flirting, what little there is of it, is very mild and performative. Most of his relationships with women have a deep platonic vibe to them. Unlike Brisco’s energy with both Lord Bowler and Socrates. When he talks with them, it’s quite flirty and upbeat, playful. He teases them gently and is quite open with speaking to them. Despite him and Lord Bowler being rivals upon meeting, they already friendly protective of each other by the second episode.

The friendship that Brisco has cultivated with Lord Bowler by that point is very soft and affectionate. There’s a deep tenderness that transcends friendship. Lord Bowler drops his rough exterior around Brisco in ways that is not normally done.

People, you do not sing to your rival to comfort them while they’re in pain and dying unless there is something deeper going on with your relationship!

Also, in the episode where he goes to the town full of nothing but women, he doesn’t flirt with a single one. The professor keeps making insinuations about how great their situation is and Brisco’s just like “meh” about the whole thing. In that episode, during the trap set up in the bathhouse, Brisco never even casts an interested look at the naked woman in the bath. He simply thanks her for her help and leaves. Brisco also has decidedly platonic, almost sibling-like chemistry with the town’s sheriff. When he leaves town, there’s only a goodbye. No sidelong glances or shoehorned kiss. Nothing. They’re both the two least horny people in existence.

Speaking of Brisco not being horny, we not come to the part where I see him as being asexual. Though, he is not sex-repulsed. He will have sex if his partner wishes to. He’s not enthused or enticed by sex. Sexual intercourse is not a driving factor in his life. He would much rather be out discovering things or talking to his horse. 

I have a few examples of Brisco in situations where in any other show, the male lead would be overly enthusiastically engaged in the situation:

This is the body language of a man who is viscerally uncomfortable. You can tell by the crease in his cheek where her hand touches that he is actively recoiling from her in-coming kiss.

For this gif, normally in this situation the male lead would be doing one of several things: leaning into the touch, eyes drift down to watch where she is enticingly touching, returning the soft touch, or leaning his head in to continue the conversation. But Brisco does none of these things. He completely ignores what her hand is doing. His eyes stay on her face at all times. He isn’t checking out her very obvious tits. and he is once against actively leaning his head back as he speaks. He doesn’t so much as twitch at her touch. Brisco is completely unphased and uninterested in the sexual implications of their intimate positioning.

This is the least sexiest version of the “omg, I accidentally fell on you in a scandalous way” position I have ever seen in my life. Brisco’s mind is entirely on the situation outside of his intimate positioning. His mind is no way engaged in the fact that he is basically straddling a beautiful woman, he is too busy calculating the amount of danger he’s in. Something that most male leads do not immediately focus on when in such a position.

In conclusion, I’m just here to say that Brisco is an example of performative heteronormativity. He is playing “his part” in normal society but is not enthused by it. He knows how he's expected to act and does so when the time calls for it but does seek out opportunities to act in a hetero or allosexual manner. He would much rather either be on his own and daydream or converse with male friends/acquaintances all while having a deep feminist respect for women and their rights to safety and happiness. 

[fonulyn]

fonulyn’s 2020 in fics

this is kind of exciting since in 2020 I did get a lot writing done, and it marks the second year in a row that I’m able to actually make one of these posts after that horrible not good at all terrible disastrous three and a half years when I wrote absolutely nothing. so it’s a triumph to get another one of these up! personal victory haha.

in total, in 2020 I wrote 148 fics, ranging from like 200 words to 34k (idk if those short things can be called fics but i just did). by pairing, there’s

13 of Joe/Nicky

58 of Piers/Leon

56 of Chris/Leon

(1 with Piers/Leon and Chris/Leon)

5 of the ot3 (Chris/Leon/Piers)

11 of Krauser/Leon

3 of Wesker/Chris (lmao still can’t believe this)

1 of Chris/Leon/Krauser

so. in retrospect, i did okay. 

it’s over 300 thousand words and I am kind of. surprised. and that is not counting the approximately 50k of wips i’m ignoring :’D

I’d also like to take a second to thank everyone who has ever sent me nice messages, commented on the fics, left reblogs or kudos, and the like. you’re what kept me going, I wouldn’t have gotten even half as much done otherwise.

without further ado, links to all of the fics under the cut! they’re organized by pairing, and the links take you to tumblr posts (bc I’m lazy) and a lot of them have a link in the post that takes you to ao3. (also can you see I put ~~so much~~ effort into naming the tumblr ficlets :’D feel free to laugh at me)

Joe/Nicky

a dog by any other name | 1,5k | The one wherein they end up owning a dog.

within the heart a flame of desires | 5,0k | Nicolo watches Yusuf have sex with others, desperately wishing he was with him instead. Until things change. He much prefers having Yusuf all for himself.

the world will wait | 2,4k | The one wherein Joe takes a lot of naps and the whole team gets to relax.

catch this | 650w | Every time Joe gets distracted (by Nicky), Andy tries to take him by surprise.

nobody’s perfect | 1,9k | Even immortal warriors have their weaknesses, Nile learns. Those just aren’t what she expected.

only in these arms | 780w | Nicky has trouble sleeping alone. Andy is a decent substitute, but only when Joe returns so does Nicky’s ability to get a decent night’s rest.

(please don’t explain) that time in Malta | 580w | Nile doesn’t think at first it would even be possible for Joe to be embarrassed. By anything. Until one evening, they talk about Malta.

cool it down boys | 400w | Andy gets no sleep. She gets revenge, though.

cowboy, baby | 340w | Nicky has the fashion sense of a sack of flour, and he is fine with that.

that day is not today | 4,9k | They struggle through the whole lab-experience. It isn’t the time yet to forgive Booker.

tea, soup and tlc | 2k | The one wherein Joe is not sick. At all. Nope. He isn't.

two drinks too many | 770w | Nicky is a little drunk. Joe loves him anyway.

safe haven | 3,9k | The one wherein everyone gets quality cuddles from Joe.

Piers/Leon

it was you that I found | 23,4k | Leon doesn’t really do relationships. Not because he doesn’t want to, but because he always seems to be so bad at them. Of course entirely by accident he manages to build one without even realizing it. 

unexpected visitor | 690w | Piers is forced on bed-rest. At least Leon stops by.

got me all tied up (never let me go) | 4,0k | Piers doesn’t like suits. Leon loves Piers in a suit.

not so subtle | 210w | “Soo, were you checking me out all night, or was that just my imagination?” Leon asks suddenly, Piers chokes on his drink in surprise.

nighttime fools | 4,8k | Piers and Leon get arrested for public indecency. It’s not their fault, honest.

piers isn’t sick, really, he isn’t (he is) | 670w | “Oh, hi,” Piers said immediately, a goofy smile slipping onto his face. Man, he was happy to see Leon. So happy to see him.  

so you’ve met Xena | 620w | “Xena?” Leon turned to look at Piers, decidedly unimpressed. “You named your dog after the Warrior Princess?“

you’re cute, you know | 680w | Piers took the opportunity the second their gazes met. He grinned, as charmingly as he possibly managed, and said “You’re cute, you know that?“

kiss the nightmares away | 470w | Sleepily Piers blinked, trying to make his eyes work properly. He squinted at the digital clock on the bedside, and its harsh red numbers that told him it was 3:30, and confusedly he turned to frown at Leon. “Why aren’t you sleeping?“

smooth talking, Nivans, very smooth | 1,4k | Piers can not control what comes out of his mouth.

dream a little (dirty) dream of me | 1,3k | Piers wakes Leon up. That's it.

your shirt is my shirt | 950w | With a sigh Piers grabbed the only shirt available that wasn’t battery operated and obnoxious. It was Leon’s, so old that the print had faded completely, leaving only faint outlines behind. And when Piers pulled it on he grumbled again, realizing how tight it was.

here for you | 620w | Leon can’t sleep, but somehow Piers makes his anxieties bleed away. 

grand plans | 260w | “Are you seriously going to wear that?”

new puppy | 430w | “Hey there little guy.” Leon bent down to pick up the little puppy, straightening again to hold it against his chest. His hands looked almost comically large as the dog was so tiny, and carefully he cradled it close.

a little bit funny | 850w | So maybe Piers hadn’t slept properly in days, and the sleep deprivation was making him a little hysterical, but he didn’t even remember when a stupid comedy would’ve made him laugh so much.

for now our time is here | 4,4k | When Chris had told them to wait up and left them alone for a while, this probably wasn’t what he’d been expecting, but the second he’d closed the door behind himself the tension that had been brewing between Leon and Piers had snapped like a cord.

wanting too much | 1,1k | “Fucking hell, never do that to me again,“ Leon huffed out, clearly relieved beyond anything.

the prettiest agent with the prettiest hair | 1,2k | Piers stress-braids. Leon doesn't mind. And besides, Piers always undoes the braids whenever he's done with them. Until one night he forgets.

you can be the air that i breathe | 1,0k |  It wasn’t the first time Piers got punched in the face by a gigantic BOW so hard that the hit sent him flying. It was, however, the first time he was sent careening off a bridge and into the river below. And it was, definitely, the first time Leon saved his life.  

before I found you | 890w | The second Piers realized that the spikes covering the monster actually came off, and it was able to shoot them towards its attackers, it was already too late for him to react.

you don’t need to stay | 950w | Piers did his best to take care of Leon.  And as much as Leon appreciated it, he didn’t want to be a goddamn nuisance.

need me, baby, just a little stronger tonight | 2,1k | Leon really has to practice perfecting his poker face. At least he gets what he wants in the end.

be my valentine | 920w | “Are you sure?“ Piers asked for the tenth time, frowning down at the bar of Fazer blue chocolate. “I still think it’s… not a lot?”

you're the world that I wanna discover | 7,5k | The one wherein they buy a house, fall even more in love, and Leon reaches a breaking point.

call me (tell me what you feel) | 1,7k | Leon is stuck at the airport. At least he gets a nice phone call with Piers.

incentive to stay alive | 1,0k |  "Hey, Nivans, wake up,” he tried, but there was no answer, and he couldn’t help but let the worry in his voice. “Piers. Don’t you dare die on me. Chris would kill me if I let anything happen to his best sniper.”

blanket hog Leon | 880w | Grumbling, Piers turned around, and as he’d expected Leon was cozily wrapped in at least four blankets, leaving nothing for Piers, who was currently freezing his ass off.

I give you all I am | 2,0k | “Leon?” Piers approached in quick steps, watching recognition flicker in Leon’s eyes as he lowered his own weapon too. Leon was slumped against the wall, hunched over and holding his side, and there was something feverish about his eyes. Yet as soon as he realized it was Piers he gave a shaky grin, even if that was all he managed.

why are the gorgeous ones always taken | 810w | Piers blinked his eyes open slowly, expression scrunched up, and it took a long moment before he managed to actually focus his gaze on Leon’s face. When he did, a smile immediately bloomed on his face, and he even tilted his head a little. “Have I died and gone to heaven?” he croaked out, his voice rough from lack of use.

still intact | 1,1k | It took a week before the level of painkillers was correct and Piers woke up with a gasp instead of a scream. And the first thing he asked was for someone to kill him.

of guns and ...guns | 270w | Leon likes the way Piers handles his rifle. There’s drool involved.

always fashionable | 540w | Apparently having a crush on the well-dressed, professional Leon translated into being absolutely fucking in love with the sleep-mussed and squinty Leon.

misplaced phones and revelations | 660w | Chris finds Piers’ phone. Which turns out to be Leon’s phone. The two turn out to be dating. Chris feels kind of blind.

yee-haw! | 1,0k | Leon rides Piers. Wearing a cowboy hat.

you’re cute when you’re angry | 620w | When he’s stressed, Piers washes the dishes. Angrily.  

want to drink (with) you | 1,1k | Piers is an embarrassing drunk. Leon loves him anyway. 

and each one of us is a path somewhere | 22,2k | Piers gets thrown twenty years back in time. Into Raccoon City, 1998. He’d heard about what Leon went through that night, but he never thought he’d have to actually experience it himself. Together with bright eyed rookie Leon.

hold me close | 560w | Leon falls asleep against Piers’ shoulder. 

goatee man | 890w | Piers thinks growing a beard might make him look more manly. 

promises kept | 2,9k | Leon finds out Piers isn't dead after all. He's just locked up in a BSAA research facility with no one allowed in to visit.

stay with me tonight (stay until the end of life) | 2,2k | Leon doesn’t know I’m contacting you, but a fair warning, because I’m worried. He was found unconscious on the bathroom floor at 10AM. They took him to the hospital, but he checked himself out. Look after him, okay?  

4am | 760w | “What can I say,” Piers grinned against Leon’s neck, “I was dreaming of you.” He had no reservations about moving his hips, letting Leon feel just how nice the dream had been.

caffeinated | 550w | Someone gives Piers coffee. Leon knows what to do with that excess energy.

and i'm you and you're me | 7,0k | The one wherein Leon and Piers accidentally swap bodies.

girls’ day in bed | 780w | Piers and Leon wake up one morning with boobs and other assorted lady parts. It’s a fun day. (Spoiler alert: they have a lot of sex.)

worlds apart | 3,2k | Krauser kidnaps Piers to lure Leon to him. (feat. past Krauser/Leon)

not again | 530w | Watching Piers’ mutation brings Leon some very unfortunate flashbacks. (feat. past Krauser/Leon)

gorgeous | 300w | Piers calls Leon gorgeous.

the most comfortable pillow | 350w | Leon falls asleep with his head on Piers’ lap.

beautiful | 840w | Even after losing an arm and ruining half of his face, Piers is the most beautiful thing to Leon.

as seen in adult films | 580w | Piers doesn’t know one damn thing about dishwashers. He volunteers to fix one anyway.

never letting go | 260w | Leon is goddamn comfortable right here. He isn’t going to move a single inch.

nose kisses | 390w | Piers is cute when he’s cranky. Just ask Leon.

no other half could ever make me whole | 6,3k | The one wherein they get a scare and there's a proposal.

the luxury of being held | 690w | The fabric of Piers’ hoodie is the perfect place to hide. (feat. Theo’s amazing art)

just one step from heaven, one step from paradise | 2,7k | The one wherein Piers makes sure Leon doesn’t freeze, and they enjoy their vacation.

all is fair in war, love and Mario Kart | 600w | Piers sucks at Mario Kart.

Chris/Leon

if i never see all my dreams come true, the one that mattered the most was you | 5,9k |  Chris enlists Leon’s help on a mission as a clever ruse to make the man take a break he so obviously needs. 

and I don't want to know how slow the time must flow | 11,1k | Chris and Leon try to fight their way out of a castle and feelings take over.

you are my heart, you are my home | 3,2k | Chris is sick, and he’s being extra dramatic about it.

from the gates of longing | 5,5k | Chris volunteers to take Leon home, but ends up getting a lot more than he bargained for.

how to accidentally get adopted - a guide by Piers Nivans | 2,3k | Piers accidentally keeps calling Chris dad, and Chris and Leon sort of unofficially adopt him.

right here by your side | 1,9k | When Chris shows up to check up on Leon, four days into his self-imposed flu-exile, at first Leon wants to just throw him out. But then it turns into a relationship-building moment and suddenly he can’t mind all that much.

about time | 1,8k | Leon is freezing. Chris warms him up.

yet you'll lose yourself in me | 3,3k | The one wherein Chris is generously proportioned and Leon kind of loves it. (whispers: size kink)

beyond tomorrow | 1,7k | Leon ends up in the hospital after a mission, Chris hurries to see if he’s okay. Claire is already there.

look at those heart-eyes | 180w | Quickly Chris shook his head, reluctantly pulling his attention away from Leon.

there’s a cat in the sink | 220w | “There’s a cat in the sink, and we don’t own a cat.”

from the future | 300w | It’s 1998 and Leon comes face to face with himself, from 2017.

surprise redfield | 250w | “Don’t worry,“ Chris says, nonchalantly as if it’s an everyday occurrence that he’s standing in Leon’s kitchen.

need this feeling to last (there's no denying) | 2,4k | “Why don’t you fuck me yourself, you coward!“

something solid, something good | 520w | Chris was so warm, and that together with all the glorious skin-on-skin contact made Leon happily sink back into the embrace.

come closer | 520w | Leon is done with Chris being so careful around him.  

your arms around me | 690w | Chris woke up cold and alone.  

a needed break | 440w | Sometimes Chris got so single-mindedly stuck on a task that he forgot everything around himself.

the iron maiden | 820w | Suddenly it was hard to breathe, like he couldn’t fill his lungs with oxygen no matter how much he tried, to the point that his vision started to get blurry. 

robin hood: chris in tights | 480w | Chris’ face was twisted into a theatrical grimace as he tugged a little on the green tights we was wearing. They were like painted on and although he didn’t really have body issues in general, he couldn’t help but feel self-conscious about it.

luckless romance | 4,0k | Leon and Chris turn a drunken argument into something better. (Please note: The link takes you to the last part of six.) 

take my hand | 920w | The worst part, by far, is not seeing anything. There are sounds, people talking like he isn’t even in the room, machines beeping and doors opening, quick busy steps against the floor.

let me take you to the edge of the stars and back again | 3,0k | Chris takes his sweet, sweet time before he gives Leon what he wants.

I’m going to seduce you | 1,1k | Jesus Christ, they’d had sex. Leon groaned again, this time less because of the headache and more because he felt so unbearably dumb. He’d probably had the best sex of his life, and he couldn’t remember it.

a little help | 430w | Those fucking idiots, Claire thought for the millionth time, as she watched her brother give the biggest dumbest heart eyes at Leon, who was blissfully oblivious about everything going on around him.

the way to anyone’s heart (the answer is food, good food)  | 2,4k | Chris asks Leon to teach him how to cook. (Spoiler: Leon doesn't know how.)

oh the horror | 270w | “I seriously don’t understand why you want to watch this shit,” Leon groaned, pressing his face into Chris’ chest.

jealousy | 670w | Chris swallowed hard, downed the last of his beer, and took the leap. “I’m jealous okay.”

twist me up | 510w | Sure Chris had always known that Leon was flexible. Sure he had seen him even do these weird-ass yoga poses more than once. There was nothing new to it.

meet the parents | 600w | Leon brings Chris home for Christmas.

precious cargo | 930w | Chris lugs Leon around like luggage.

it's always been you | 870w  | The hardest thing for Leon was when someone he cared about was in danger but there was nothing he could do about it. And then Chris fell into a ravine.

come away with me (to another world) | 2,0k | Leon finally gets a vacation.

first time sucker | 930w | “I don’t know, because it’s fun?” Leon said. “I promise you, you’re missing out.”

read my scars | 1,9k | Chris learns about Leon's scars.

battered and bruised | 650w | Ignoring the bruises and scrapes he had, Chris turned around and sprinted towards Leon, gritting his teeth against the strain moving put on his side.

a different kind of proposal | 500w | “If you keep fucking me this good,“ he breathed out, unsure if Chris even heard the words, “I’ll have to marry you.“

welcome home | 370w | The door had barely fallen shut behind Chris when Leon was in his personal space, grabbing him by the lapels of the trench coat he was wearing so he could pull him in close for a kiss.

I’d always choose you | 280w | Ada was something they didn’t talk about. When someone, anyone, brought her up Leon clammed up and changed the subject. And Chris had tried to be understanding, had tried to be patient, had tried his very best to respect Leon’s boundaries with this. But Chris was only human.

fuck or die | 1,7k | Chris gets hit by a weird plant, and his hard-on just will not go down. Until Leon takes matters into his hands.

i need a hug | 470w | “I think,“ Leon sighed, but then it was like all fight bled from him and he slumped a little forward. “I need a hug.“

oh no there’s only one bed | 990w | “Don’t be ridiculous. It’s just one night. I’m sure you’ve slept with worse persons than me.”

the butt that became a pillow | 420w | Chris falls asleep on Leon.

like father like son | 2,8k | Leon finds out he has a son.

monster magnet | 1,1k | Leon didn’t know when it had become something he recognized so easily. When had it become so normal for mutated creatures to look at him with such unadulterated lust.

please be okay | 620w | Leon faints from sheer exhaustion. 

like father like... grandson? | 4,1k | Liam proposes to a girl but ends up with Piers anyway. Chris and Leon are the friendly neighborhood grandpas. Their grandson is adorable, and Leon thinks he takes after him. Obviously. (feat. Piers/OMC)

black lace | 790w | Chris gets to come home to Leon in thigh high black lacy stockings and matching lingerie, instantly sending Chris’ brains into an overdrive.

at least let me help | 790w | Leon opens the door an inch, Chris uses the given opportunity to slam it wide open. Metaphorically speaking.

bridal style | 200w | Leon refuses the medical check up. So Chris carries him.

dance with me | 1,0k | Wedding planning with two schmoopy idiots in love.

drunken cravings | 480w | Chris and Leon are drunk, hungry, and incapable of cooking.

blow me | 650w | Chris gets his brains sucked out through his dick.

Claire knows best | 610w | Chris tries to set Leon up with Claire. Then Claire does set Leon up with Chris.

chase the demons away | 940w | Chris struggles with nightmares, Leon is there to hold him through them.

dance me to the end of love | 550w | Leon struggles to learn to dance.

Piers/Leon, Chris/Leon

fate changed (we keep loving as if the story isn't over yet) | 34,3k | In hindsight, Leon knew the second he opened the door and saw Chris standing there, dressed in his service uniform, mouth pinched to a grim line and unable to meet Leon’s gaze straight. There was only one logical reason for it, only one way to explain why he was standing there like he would rather be anywhere else, and Leon almost slammed the door right in his face. --  Or the one wherein no one really knows how to handle their grief, but somehow life goes on anyway. (I’m still so proud of this one negl)

Chris/Leon/Krauser

hearts beating fast (let's make this moment last) | 5,7k | Chris gets invited in for a threesome. The clever thing would’ve been to refuse, knowing his unrequited, helpless feelings. But then again, he’s just a man.

OT3

double the fun | 3,1k | Truthfully, Leon hadn’t thought his day could get this much better. Everything had gone wrong from the second he’d woken up and he’d already written the day off entirely, until the moment Chris had looked him dead in the eye and asked “How do you feel about two at once?”

of cuddles and blanket forts | 620w | Piers and Leon build a blanket fort. Chris would think they’re idiots, but they might actually be kind of brilliant.

hair straightener or waffle iron? | 310w | Chris and Piers break Leon’s hair straightener.

the last piece of the puzzle | 2,7k | The one wherein two becomes three.

not alone | 2,3k | Completely on accident, Piers and Chris happen to be there to save Leon from a tight spot. Cuddles ensue.

Krauser/Leon

drive me crazy (your eyes made me crave for this) | 2,3k | It was the best sex Krauser had ever had in his life. That’s why he kept coming back to Leon, kept saying ‘yes’ every single time the man as much as hinted that he might be up for meeting. He was getting off, and he was enjoying every second of it, and that was the extent of it. There certainly weren’t any feelings involved. None. None at all. 

enjoying the view | 200w | Krauser likes ass-watching.

carry me to bed | 440w | Slowly Leon was coming back to his senses. Sweat was cooling on his skin, the hard surface of the table underneath him starting to feel uncomfortable.  

and I lied that we would be fine | 1,1k | Leon knows he isn’t supposed to be doing this. There’s a vague recollection of something more important, something he should be focusing on, but the vast majority of his world has narrowed down onto the slick slide of their bodies, on the cheap scratchy sheets on his skin, on the sound of Krauser’s voice in his ear, and he can’t bring himself to care.

yet never enough | 1,9k | Krauser likes mirrors.

of wanting | 400w | Leon’s laughter echoed in the room as Krauser pinned him against the wall, before shutting him up with a ravenous kiss.

better with you | 590w | Despite knowing Krauser had his back, Leon was genuinely surprised when the man sat down right next to him instead of telling him to suck it up and get moving.

breakfast | 530w | Lately things had slowly begun to shift. And Leon wasn’t sure yet what was going on. Or how he felt about it.

kill me now | 900w | It was more than clear how much Krauser enjoyed their frantic attempts to kill one another, and Leon’s traitorous body shivered in response, the memory of times long gone returning like no time had passed at all.

lust that I've already spilled | 1,4k | “C’mon, Leon,” Krauser taunted, grinning as widened his stance. “This cock isn’t gonna suck itself.”

will you just look at me | 650w | Krauser refuses to do feelings.

Wesker/Chris

I am the light that shall lead you to darkness | 1,8k | In all honesty, Chris wasn’t entirely sure how he’d ended up here: a panting mess, bent over a massive wooden table with Wesker holding him down laughably easily. 

the light to drown in darkness | 2,0k | Wesker craves Chris. So Wesker takes Chris.

love-hate-(obsession?) | 470w | Wesker is a lovesick fool. If he wasn’t also a homicidal maniac, Jill would almost feel sorry for him.

[mejomonster]

I know the current bi rep in shows overall isn't perfect, but woe does it mean a lot to me just how much more common it us to nowadays find lots of mainstream watched shows that have explicitly bi characters in them

When I was growing up there was rarely lgbt representation in shows unless they were specifically made for lgbt audiences (buffy is the only one I can think of, or a couple eps in ds9, xena was subtext but the close, then there was queer as folk and the l word that mainstream wasn't watching)

And now? I can check out a show a family member recommends, and there's a good chance there's a bi character like me. Not always, but a decent amount of time. How to Get Away With Murder. The 100. Pretty Little Liars. Person of Interest. Orphan Black. Black Sails. (And I can find cdramas with bo characters like Bureau of Transformers like Two Souls in One like Bromance, can find Thai dramas like 3 Will Be Free, Japanese dramas like Kieta Hatsukoi). Can find video games like Dragon Age, Mass Effect, Assasins Creed, Life is Strange, The Last of Us 2. A lot of these aren't perfect by any means and some I like or dislike more than others.

But when I was growing up? People told me flat out that bisexuals didnt exist. Authority figures, peers, told me how I felt wasn't valid and I needed to "pick." Told be bisexual just meant I wanted to sleep with everything that moved (which yes fucked up to say to a person and fucked up to say to a 15 year old kid). And I had so little way of knowing any better, of examples of myself to counteract what I was being told and expected to do. My school GSA also didn't think bisexuality was a 'thing,' but instead a 'phase' or for attention or people who haven't made up their mind (and god do those beliefs make me angry). It took years of being surrounded by this and occasionally thank God meeting another bisexual person who felt like I did and understood, of finding online lgbt resources that recognized bisexuality, it took finding more community.

And now its just. I'm so glad if I was a show I can see someone like me. I'm so glad no one in my family can say "bisexuality isn't real" because it's not something to believe anymore - I can point out a celebrity who's popular who's bisexual, I can mention a show a movie a game they've seen and bring up what bisexuality is in case they want to play pretend that they cant understand what it is. But growing up people genuinely got away with saying it wasn't real, claiming you were in a phase or being a freak, and you couldn't find another person like you at your age who wasn't being fed the same bullshit to hate themselves and wonder why people were calling their feelings fake, you couldn't find a piece of popular media and go THATS what I'm like goddamn it.

God it isn't perfect by any means but representation does matter and I'm so glad to see the increases that have happened over the last couple decades. (In the movie industry in some ways its gotten worse mind you, Disney being one particular fucker). But just like... if I'd been 15 and seen Annalise Keating on TV I might have known bisexuality is real and I can grow up and have an established life and there's bisexuals who know their sexuality and live their lives. If id seen The 100 I might have realized you can love multiple genders and not have to 'pick' like all the fucking adults in my life claiming. I remember so fondly But I'm a Cheerleader growing up cause it's was a rare movie I saw where a girl who loves a girls feelings were treated as REAL and they got a happy ending. Just seeing lgbt people at all as explicitly accepting of their sexuality and acknowledged and having a happy ending was notable. I remember even Jennifer's Body stood out back then because even not being the main point, and being a horror, it was nice to see another bi teen girl like I was in anything. There's still so much more Id like improved on and more diversity shown and more stories in general explored. But it's nice to see bi people at all in common things now, on channels other than specifically for lgbt audiences, it's nice to see enough now that I know a person watching regular media is more likely to at least vaguely know lgbt people Exist. (Whereas when I was growing up, if you weren't watching lgbt channel stuff or japanese bl anime you were unlikely to see lgbt people mentioned at all as a thing that even might exist - even shows that barely do much now like Teen Wolf having a minor gay character where it's explicitly acknowledged is more than mainstream media was likely to show when I was growing up). I'm just. I'm glad there's a bit more visibility.

[sierraraeck]

Ancient History and Open Wounds (Pt.1)

BAU x OC Aundreya

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Summary: In an effort to save Aundreya, the BAU has to turn to some unlikely allies before it’s too late. Story twenty.

Category: Angst.

Warnings: Cussing. Kidnapping. I don’t explicitly talk about torture, but it happens. Someone gets shot. Quick mention of previous sexual abuse and drug abuse.

Word Count: 4.1k

A/N: I’m very proud of how this story went, it’s kinda chaotic, but hopefully worth it. Also, prepare yourselves. A lot is about to go down.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

We planned for a lot, Niko, Mateo, Roman, Deen, and I. We ran through as many scenarios we could come up with and our next steps for each one. This, though. This we did not plan for.

I was always waking up with some sort of physical pain now-a-days, but this pain felt different. My head hurt, and my nose and throat burned. Not to mention, I started with a jolt, like the panic I felt right before passing out was just put on hold, and was rushing back to me all at once.

I rapidly blinked my eyes open, scanning my surroundings. There was something about it that seemed familiar, even though I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. There was dust everywhere and the room was warm, like we were over a giant boiler. There were two windows to my right that didn’t look very functional with newspapers covering them, but the rest of the room looked actually kinda cozy. If I hadn’t known better, I would have said it looked like a mini nursing home for one.

I moved my fingers around a little, then my toes, waking my body up little by little. I was bound to a pole, chains clasped to something above my head and on the other side. My legs were useless as well, multiple rows of chains holding them to the pole. That really only left my midsection stretched and exposed, like a pig about to be roasted above a fire.

“Morning.” Hot breath scraped across my ear, and I hadn’t even heard the person come in. “I was starting to worry that your ability to resist drugs and such was starting to wear off, but I was wrong.” He finally turned to face me and my stomach fell to my feet.

It was those same grey eyes, those same tattoos on his neck. His hair had changed, gotten a bit longer than his usual buzzcut, but his face was the same. A little stubble along his jaw as well, but it was like I was transported back in time to my first day after initiation with the Cloaks.

I knew this was coming, I did, and I tried to prepare myself, but there was no way in hell I felt remotely prepared to see him again. I wanted to kick myself for my initial reaction to do whatever he said and get out of this as quickly as possible. But I knew that couldn’t be how this time went. No, it couldn’t be, because I’d angered him much more than I ever had before. Not only that, but I was above him now. I took his gang, had my own ring, escaped a supermax, joined the FBI, and killed his love. I was supposed to be stronger than him. Fiercer. But I felt none of that at the moment. I was fucking terrified.

But I’d rather die than show him I was still scared, “DeLeon.” I spat his name like the shit it was.

“We were close once,” he mused, “You know, you can still call me Jamar.”

“We aren’t close now, DeLeon,” I hissed, making sure he got the point.

“Come on, Aundreya-”

“Chambers,” I raised my eyebrows, “You can call me Chambers.”

“You don’t make the demands around here,” he almost sang. Before I could make a smart comment back, he cut me off with a ‘tsk.’ “I’d stop talking if I were you.”

“I will never take your orders.” I immediately shot back.

“You know, this could all go away if you just stop fighting,” he replied smugly, knowing very well what my answer would be.

“I will never get on my knees for you.”

He grinned, “Oh, I know you wouldn’t do it for me, but that’s why I didn’t come empty handed. You see, I’ve heard that you have a weakness.”

“Oh, uh-huh, and what’s that?” I probed.

Without answering, he disappeared behind me. He gloated, “That little team of yours.” I heard some clanking and maneuvering, and then he reappeared lugging a massive cart.

“Trust me, that is not my team.”

“Sure, you say that, but let’s test that theory shall we?” On the cart were three different television screens. He gave me a smile before turning them on one by one. When they buzzed to life, whatever I was supposed to be seeing was dark and indecipherable. “Thanks to Doctor Madden’s lovely hospitality, and loaded bank account,” he gestured at the three tvs, “This was a successful and brilliant set up.”

That’s when I figured out why this place was so familiar. We were in Doctor Madden’s attic. When her mom was sick a few years back, she transformed the attic into her own little care facility, which I only ever visited once. Oh fuck. “What did you do with Doctor Madden?”

He completely ignored me, instead, reaching for a small remote that he aimed over to my left side. I turned that way and saw a small camera blink to life, the faint red light letting me know it was on and recording. He turned back to the tvs, his back facing me, and I heard him whisper into what I assumed was his phone. The moment he turned back around, all three of the pictures on the tvs panned out, showing me a perfect view of the outside of Spencer, Rossi, and JJ’s house.

“What is this?” I asked, the words barely making it out.

“Now, you said you’d never get on your knees for me, and I believe you, but would you get on your knees for them?” He was speaking very calmly, which was drastically different from the hot-headed DeLeon I once knew. Which scared me even more.

We waited in silence while we watched the tv screens. Rossi was having another house party, it appeared, with himself, Aaron, Derek, Emily, Penelope and Tara all drinking and laughing, JJ was at her house with Will and the boys, and Spencer was at his apartment. The curtains were still open, and he looked like he was alone for a moment before I saw someone’s head peek out of his bedroom. Maeve. He was with Maeve. At his apartment, in his bedroom, probably sharing the same experience I once did on the same goddamn mattress. I saw his eyes light up when she coaxed him into the bedroom, and I turned my attention back to the other two screens.

“In a few seconds, the live feed of the two of us will be transmitted to the BAU’s network. They’ll get to watch and hear everything that goes on,” DeLeon assured. I waited for what had to be at least a minute without any change.

But then I saw Penelope running out to the rest of the group, iPad in hand. She pulled Hotch and Derek aside first, frantically showed them what was on it, and then they called out to the rest of the group. They all grabbed their stuff in an instant, and made their way out of the backyard. The camera angle changed then, showing the front of Rossi’s mansion as they all piled into their respective cars, driving the same way. I turned to JJ’s screen, where I saw her rush out of the house on her phone. She kissed Will on the cheek, then got in her car and sped away. At the same time, I saw Spencer emerge from the bedroom, readjust his clothes, then run to his car. Each person had multiple camera angles on them, and then, all three of them changed to show the BAU.

And then the full force of dread came crashing down on me. DeLeon noticed it too, and started chuckling. “Figured it out yet?”

I swallowed, and looked at him, mouth agape. “You put snipers on them.”

# # # # # # # # # # # # #

~2 months earlier~

“Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys,” Penelope rushed into the round table room, stopping all conversations. They’d just gotten a new case, and were confused why she was back already, and so startled. “Stop what you are doing.”

Everyone had already stopped what they were doing, and waited for her to get whatever it was up on the big screen.

“Meet Xena Adaland,” Penelope said, gesturing to the crime scene photos.

“You mean…?” Derek trailed off.

“Xena as in Xena from Aundreya’s list? Yes,” her eyes grew about three sizes. It was a miracle they didn’t just fall right out of her head.

“How’d you pull that off? Isn’t her identity completely untraceable?” Derek questioned.

“Uh, it doesn’t really matter, and yes,” she quickly answered the other question, “But trust me, it’s her.”

“Where is this?” Hotch asked.

“This is just outside of Chicago in an old MMA gym that’s been closed for over three years,” Penelope informed.

“In Chicago?” Emily confirmed, “If Chambers is running, isn’t that too obvious a place for her to hide?”

“Yes, but if she didn’t want Xena knowing any of the other places she’d been staying at, going to where they first met wouldn’t be a bad idea,” Derek chimed in.

“Plus, she’s smart. We’d obviously think she’d go somewhere that can’t be connected to her, so going someplace too easy might be overlooked,” Rossi added.

“Do we think this was just her? I mean, if this girl was one of Chambers’ biggest rivals, she’s got to be smart, right? There’s no way she would have let herself be lured into a trap that obvious without other people being involved,” JJ offered.

“I’m not so sure,” Rossi mused. “I think there is a lot about Chambers we don’t know. I wouldn’t be surprised if she did that all on her own.”

“And come on. She had all that time in prison to plan something like this,” Derek said. “Plus, she used to be, and obviously still is, one of the highest profile criminals ever.”

“Prentiss, Rossi, I want you two to fly out to Chicago and check this out. As for the rest of us, we will be working the other case,” Hotch commanded.

The two of them headed toward the door, but stopped shy. They’d all been thinking this, but Rossi was the one who voiced it, “And the kid?”

‘The Kid’ in question was not currently in the room. He had one more day left of vacation, and would be flying out to the team the next day. Spencer hadn’t been handling things well, and just started to round the corner with the team, and Maeve’s, helps. This was not the kind of information he needed right now. Not to say that the team thought he was fragile and incapable of handling this information, he’d dealt with much worse and still been able to do his job, but why give him information they don’t know for sure was relevant?

“He’ll be working with us,” is all Hotch offered, but it was enough to relay the message to the rest of the team: Do not mention this to him. Let me handle the excuses.

Prentiss and Rossi landed a couple of hours later and immediately drove to the crime scene. Garcia told them that she’d called the police chief and he’d be waiting for them there.

“Hello agents,” he greeted, extending his hand.

“Agent Prentiss, this is agent Rossi,” Emily took his hand then gestured to Rossi who followed suit.

“Chief Welter. This way,” he led them inside the abandoned gym which they could see pretty well in the daytime, despite all the dust and boarded up windows. “It’s pretty bad, but I’ve got to ask. Why’re the Feds interested in some one-off?”

“Might be connected to something else,” was all Prentiss offered. The man just nodded, giving her a slight side eye, but her full attention was already on the scene. There was a lot of blood, nearly dried, that left only a small oval shaped area that was uncovered. There were obvious signs of a struggle, but overall, things felt too clean. I mean, there was a little dribbled blood here, and a small splatter there that could have occurred from the fight, but something about it felt off. It didn’t seem staged, and there was no obvious evidence that the scene had been tampered with, but it just felt wrong. Maybe it was just because they already knew who did it, and they had a very complicated relationship with her.

But whatever the reason, they continued on as planned. They evaluated the scene, then went to the station to make sure they had all of the pictures and all of the evidence available. The next stop was the ME.

On the car ride there, Emily asked, “Did something feel off to you?”

“Expand,” Rossi said.

“Like, did something about that scene feel wrong to you? I don’t really know how to describe it, but something about it seemed so perfectly ordinary and perfectly random that it couldn’t have been random? I don’t know if that’s making any sense but-”

“I get what you’re saying. Like everything seemed so staged yet not staged at the same time?” Rossi looked over at Emily and she nodded. They parked the car and headed toward the ME’s office.

“Do you think we should tell the rest of the team about when we saw her?”

Rossi sighed and pushed open the front door, “Let’s wait and see how this pans out, and then we’ll figure out if we need to tell the rest of the team.”

“Tell the rest of the team what?” The moment they heard those harsh words, they didn’t even have to look at him to know they were in deep. Spencer just looked at them expectantly. “Tell us what?”

“Spence, look-”

“Don’t, Emily. What the hell, guys! Does no one tell me anything anymore?” he spat.

“We were going to tell you-” Rossi tried.

“Were you? Then why’d I have to profile it out of Penelope?” Neither one had a good answer for that. “So what else are you not telling me, hm?”

Prentiss exchanged a look with Rossi and sighed. “We saw her.”

Reid seemed speechless for a moment before whispering with wild eyes, “What?”

“At the hospital. She came to visit Morgan, Hotch, and JJ after … you know. It was like two am but she was there. Just watching them. And we saw her,” Prentiss finished.

Reid was frozen for a few seconds before asking, “How was she?” All the anger seemed to seep out of his voice.

“Fine. We didn’t talk but she looked okay,” she tacked on, “Physically, at least.”

“So she’s alive?” Reid confirmed.

“Sure is, kid,” Rossi assured.

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me this,” Reid accused, venom returning just as quickly as it had left, “You know this has been driving me crazy for months now, how could you not tell me? You were just going to let me lose sleep and struggle to figure this out and spin out of control and then solve it behind my back? I can help, so why won’t you let me? You know how important she-” he rapidly stopped himself. He slowly released a breath and brought his volume back under control, not having fully realized he was yelling, “how important this is to me.”

Rossi and Prentiss shared yet another look, then Rossi said, “Okay Reid. Then help us.”

That was all he needed to hear before turning to enter the office.

They were all relieved to find out that, as far as evidence could tell, Aundreya was fine. Actually, she should be more than fine. Not even a single drop of her blood was at the scene. It was like Xena was fighting a ghost, a very vengeful one at that.

But they all knew that if Aundreya was so worried about this girl that she must be good. And if she was good, there was no way that she walked away without a scratch.

Emily realized that’s what felt off about the scene. It was incredible, actually, if she thought about it. An entire fight and murder took place that they were sure Chambers was involved in, yet, evidence of anyone else being there didn’t exist. Somehow the scene had been set up and cleaned without even a shred of evidence to show that it had been set up or cleaned.

It made them wonder, though. They knew Chambers had a network of people she was in charge of, a group only referred to as ‘the ring,’ but they didn’t know anything else about them. Now, however, seeing that crime scene, all they knew was that they were fantastic at their jobs. And it was terrifying. Not to mention, if she was the leader of this group, what did that say about her?

# # # # # # # # # # # # #

~Present~

The team rushed into the bullpen just after the 10 o’clock hour completely in a panic, but all trying to control it. Penelope already had the live feed up on the big screen.

It was Aundreya, there was no doubt about that, but she looked like a wreck. She was chained to a pole, bruises everywhere and her stitches visible.

“Those should be healed by now,” Spencer pointed out. No one had anything to say about that, all their minds coming to the same conclusion that it was either the man in front of her or Xena that had opened them back up. How she got them sewn shut again was a whole different matter.

The man Penelope still couldn’t identify was talking to her, “I started to worry that this wouldn’t even work, considering the tension between you and the team. I mean, maybe they don’t care enough to look for you, and maybe you don’t care enough about them to make your decisions interesting.”

“What decisions?” Aundreya spat.

The man continued on as if she hadn’t spoken, “But then I remember that I know something they don’t. Something you aren’t even willing to admit to yourself.” He flashed a hateful smile.

“Which is?” she sounded bored more than anything, but their profiler ears could hear the slight panic in her voice.

“You. Care,” the man said it like it was an insult, “You care so deeply, actually, that it physically pains you. And it’s true that you don’t care about much, but when you do, you care about it more than anything else and no matter how many times it hurts you or betrays you, you can’t help but care. That’s why this will work.”

“What will?” Aundreya sounded like she was fed up with his games.

“I’m glad you asked, and you’ll figure it out in due time. But why don’t you tell your friends over there,” he waved to the camera, “how you got here.”

“A lot has happened, you might want to narrow that time frame down.”

“Think of the biggest reason for me to have you here, like this,” he hissed, gesturing to her form. Aundreya just smirked at him. “Say it!”

“Look, if they’re actually watching this, which maybe they aren’t,” she shrugged, “they either already know what I did, or are about to put it together within the next thirty seconds, so there’s really no need for either of us to waste out breath.”

Penelope was the first to comment. “Does she really think that we wouldn’t care enough to watch this?”

A couple heads turned toward her, but it was Hotch that spoke, “I’m not sure there is much either of them is going to say that we can weigh too heavily on.” As much as Spencer, or Emily, or Rossi wanted to protest that statement, defending her character, they couldn’t. He was right. They knew her to lie. Plus, it was in Penelope’s best interest (who were they kidding, all of their interest) to hear that as well.

Their attention was brought back to the screen when the man spoke again, “Well then I hope they see this.” He walked out of frame only to come back with a small dagger. He reached up and carved an ‘X’ into one of her palms. Aundreya squeezed her eyes shut and clenched her jaw, but other than that, she didn’t flinch.

“You think that’s going to do it?” she spat, “That’s not anywhere near what you’ve done to-”

Her words were cut off by the sudden sound of skin on skin, head whipping to the side.

“Oh, that?” the man asked, gesturing toward the large scar down her chest, “I’ve got more in store for you than that. Just taking my time. So I won’t ask again. Tell them. You know what else is on the line.”

“Son of a bitch,” Spencer froze in his spot. This is the man that gave her that? That bastard, I swear to god, I’ll-

“Spencer, what?” JJ asked, looked at him startled.

He was careful not to say anything she wouldn’t want them knowing, but rushed, “She once told me about some guy from the gang who, uh, hurt her while she was there. He gave her that scar before he left and she took over. That’s him.” The rest of the team turned back to the screen with a new understanding.

Aundreya dropped eye contact with the man before admitting, “What? That I killed Xena, ‘your love’ or whatever.”

“Don’t mock her!”

Aundreya’s voice was surprisingly level when she replied, “She was keeping things from you, DeLeon.”

“DeLeon?” Emily breathed, “That’s him?”

“No wonder he’s the last name on her list,” Derek chimed in. He followed what Reid was implying even though it seemed like no one else did, and he could understand the amount of rage coursing through her and why, even though she was the one chained up, she still talked to him like it was the other way around.

Their attention was pulled back to the screen at Aundreya’s next words, “You think, you both thought, that the other was perfect and aligned with your goals and wants, but guess what? That’s not true.”

“You don’t have a right to talk about us,” DeLeon hissed, but they could see him falter just slightly.

She continued, “You were working together out of necessity, you were both broken, and you thought you loved each other, but you didn’t. She was lying to you and going behind your back and just because you helped each other through a tough time, and supposedly were in love, doesn’t mean that you were on the same team. It doesn’t mean you wanted the same things and it certainly doesn’t mean you’re right for each other. A mutual hate for someone or a mutual goal to ‘get the bad guy’ does not make you compatible, that’s not how it works!” Aundreya’s voice quieted as she took a deep breath, some sort of understanding in her eyes. She looked at the camera for the first time and repeated, “That’s not how it works.”

“Don’t try to send them messages!” DeLeon marched over and shut off the camera, but not before promising, “We’ll be back.”

The team was silent. They were sure she was sending them a message, but they didn’t think it was quite in the way that DeLeon thought. Slowly, all eyes drifted over to Reid, who hadn’t reacted at all since the camera had been shut off.

Is that what she thinks happened between us? That we were broken and transferring and not on the same team and-

“Garcia could you get a trace on that?” Hotch asked, pulling him from his thoughts.

“I’m trying, sir, but he’s really good,” Garcia’s voice sounded watery.

“Okay, the rest of us need to start on a profile,” Hotch commanded, and they all started moving toward the round table room. Reid stayed cemented in his spot. “Reid?”

“Yeah, um, you guys start that, I’ll be right back,” he rushed, now frantically moving to grab his jacket, without his satchel, and headed out the door.

“Where are you going?” Derek called after him.

“I think I know someone who can help,” Spencer shouted back, then continued his path out the door. They watched him out, but then quickly got to work.

Series Taglist (open)

@justanothetfangirl @kris-stuff @blameitonthenight21 @wooya1224 @unded-bride @swiftingday @dezzxmx

[melaninriot]

SHUT UP AND TAKE THIS PUSSY

I was expecting it to be “decent” only because we didn’t have much time and I was a VIRGIN. Anyway, we’re kissing and licking. I’m squeezing and gripping. So she must’ve gotten bored with my 80 hour foreplay plan because she pushed me down and began to suck my neck. Down to my nips. And then licked all the way down to my meat dagger. Let me tell you👀...that shit was heavenly. Her mouth was a black hole and my dick was just an object in it’s path.

After 3 minutes and 9 seconds of vicious, unforgiving *gawk gawk* *sluuurp* while simultaneously twisting my dick like she was grinding pepper, she literally stood up, looked me dead in my eyeballs, threw her well oiled but ashy knee leg on my shoulder and threw her pussy into my face like it was the first pitch at a damn Yankees game!

But I knew what to do. I’m devouring that pussy. Though her pussy had a pleasant taste, I couldn’t fucking breathe! 😫 She is riding my fucking face like a fucking Harley and I can only imagine this is the face she’s making:

Finally, she let my tender headed ass curls go and I was able to get some air. She got down from using my face as a cushion and bent over and spread her ass cheeks signaling for me to *put it in*. Now, I knew she was wet BUT I didn’t know she was WET WET 💦. Nigga...my dick was like:

My sausage bat acclimated to her “Lake Ta-hole” and I began to stroke. Baby steps, The usual in-and-out, with a decent speed. I stroked for about 4 minutes and 2 seconds with a little bit of ass slapping to go along but nooooo 🙄 that wasn’t good enough for this Lucifer spawned soul snatcher. I swear to Mary, Joseph and Jesus, this bitch anchored her knees. Wait...you didn’t read that right. She ANCHORED HER FUCKING KNEES. You ever had a chick anchor her knees?! Have you?! Did that shit like she was getting ready to hut hut a football. I was like:

With the strength of Wonder Woman, the courage of Xena and the approval of her ancestors, she threw her little ass back on me like I stole something gotdammit. All my Black ass could do was take it. As she threw her ass back at 500 BPM (backshots per minute), all i could think of was “DONT NUT. YOU BETTER NOT NUT YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT.” It’s close but I’m hanging in there:

At this point, Her fucking back has arched into a scoliosis “C” and she’s putting in overtime. I could frankly say, nigga she was pounding the shit out of me. I was her bitch. I should’ve been yelling her name. Her throwback game was so mean, she’s pounding me off of my knees and I’m now on my back like a $2 hoe getting rode.

ME:

I’m about thiiiis 👌🏾 close to nutting. But I’m trying to hold it but I just can’t. She’s on top growling and panting, digging her nails into my legs bouncing on me like a pogo stick.

HER:

Since I can’t take it and I’m definitely about to nut, I let it be known. “😫Oh ma gahd, I’m about to cum!”

HER:

Shut up and take this pussy!

ME:

Guys, on that day and in that moment, I shut my mouth and took that pussy ☺️

[ed-edward-blackbeard]

Fanfic Author Meme.  Keep Reading after question 2 for 3-50.

1. What was your first fic and could you stand to reread it today?

Jesus Lord, no.  I’d die of secondhand embarrassment before I got halfway through it.  It was never published online, thank Christ.  It was called … ugh, I don’t remember what I called it, but it was a line from Edmund Spenser.  (Don’t judge.)  It was an OC female character and Autolycus, from Hercules and Xena, played by Bruce Campbell.  It was… a SHAMBLES.  Self-insert, wish-fulfillment of the worst kind.  But, my friend Alicia read it at the time and she told me how great she thought it was, and I should keep at it.  So, thank you, Edmund-Spenser-titled-fic.

2. What’s your most recent fic and how far do you think you’ve come?

It’s called “i commit sins every day but i never give my soul away”, and it’s on my AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/22951009.  And I actually don’t have a unit of measurement for how much I’ve improved.  But it’s also been… God, I’m 43 today,  so it’s been 27 years I’ve been writing.  Almost thirty years.  Shit, I’m old.

3. In your opinion, what’s your best fic?

Oh, man.  Tricky question.  If by best you mean technically written, most enjoyable?  I’d say maybe wasting the dawn.  Definitely By Inches We Fall.  But to be totally honest with you?  I think my best fic, the one that got me, personally by the throat, shook me, and hasn’t let me go?  Shoah.  It’s one of my earlier fics, from the Sentinel fandom, but man.  Writing this was rough.  I did my research on concentration camps, and I couldn’t sleep right for weeks.  Lisa and Patt were holding my hands over AIM practically every night when I was sobbing that I couldn’t finish it, that I couldn’t do it, that it was too much.  (I’d have been about fucking seventeen, maybe nineteen, when I was writing it.)  I bit off way more than I was prepared for, but I didn’t quit.  And I’m proud, quite frankly, that I even finished the damn thing, but even this far removed from it, I still feel that gut-punch when I go back re-read it, which is why I don’t.  And haven’t for a couple of years.  

4. In your opinion and without looking at any numbers, what’s your most popular fic?

It’d probably be Consortio.

5. Is there any fic that makes you super happy to reread and remember you wrote that?

I actually feel that way about 99% of my stuff.  Even some of the older stuff, I re-read it and I get really happy because not only do I see myself changing and maturing, I realize I was harder on myself than I should have been.  I didn’t suck like I thought, and I get the warm fuzzies.

6. Is there any fic that makes you super embarrassed to reread and remember you wrote that?

Er, not really?  I mean, there’s some cringey shit I wrote when I was like, twelve, but not even I know where those notebooks got off to.

7. What’s the fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?

By Inches We Fall.  It’s my only Game of Thrones fic, and I feel like I really want to continue the story of Jamie and Brienne and their kids, and of Jaime being Hand to King Jon and Queen Sansa.

8. What’s the oldest (longest since last update) fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?

How Firm A Foundation.  It’s a Deadwood fic, and I (many years ago, when Deadwood was actually on the air) actually sketched out how every chapter would go.  There’s a few things I’d change today, if I started it again, just because I can plot better than I could ten years ago, but I think the thread of the story is gone forever.

9. Have you ever written for a fandom without watching/reading/playing the source material?

Yami No Matsuei.  A friend of mine was actually heavily into YnM, and I wrote several stories for her.  Later I’ve watched some of it, and I realize I did okay on my characterizations, but there’s always things I could have done better.

10. Have you ever written for a fandom without reading other fanfic for it?

Pretty much every fandom I have ever been in.  I don’t read a lot of fanfic, because I’m afraid (almost paranoid, in fact) that I’ll internalize something I’ve read and later spout it out in my fic, and I don’t ever want to copy anyone, deliberately or otherwise.

11. Have you ever written a fic for a concept you know someone else has done before? How did it impact your writing process or feelings after posting?

I have, and I didn’t publish it for the reason above; I didn’t feel like my take on it was original enough to bother.

12. Have you ever written a fic and decided never to publish it? Why?

Lots of reasons, actually.  Sometimes I write with the intention of not publishing, it’s something just for me.  I’ve also written a few fics that I ended up absolutely hating, and they’ve never seen the light of day.  I’ve also done some that I felt wasn’t original enough, or they were written about the trope du jour, and I had nothing else to offer that ten other people hadn’t already done.

13. What’s the biggest change between your style when you started in fandom and today?

Sentence style and structure.  I used to do the whole, “He said.”  “In reply, she said.”  “The sky was blue when he rode in.”  And then a few of my better friends (and betas) took me in hand and showed me how to mix it up, chop my comma addiction in half (seriously, I once had a single sentence run on for twelve lines.) and I feel like I get a better grip on characterization.

14. What’s the biggest change in your taste between when you started in fandom and today?

Sex.  I used to write it in everything.  And then the more I wrote, and the older I got, the less I wanted to write it (or read it, or talk about it.)  So I’m a lot more comfortable writing non-sex stories than I used to be.

15. Have you ever purposefully written one fandom/fic idea over another because you knew it’d be more popular?

Of course.  I think everyone has, at one point or another.

16. Have you ever stopped writing a fic/for a fandom because it wasn’t receiving enough attention?

Anything I’ve ever abandoned was lack of my own attention, not anything else.  I’m kinda used to not getting a lot of attention.

17. In your opinion, what’s your most overrated fic?

What He Wants.  It’s pretentious wankfic, for a pairing I don’t actually like all that much (Lucius/Harry), and I just feel like everyone loves it way more than it deserves.

18. What’s your most underrated fic?

I’m gonna pick on Shoah again, because I feel like it just doesn’t get enough love.  I’m biased, because of how emotionally attached I am to the fic, but I feel like it’s ignored.

19. If you had to pick one fic/scene/chapter of your work to describe your entire portfolio to a stranger, which would you pick?

Wasting The Dawn.  It’s a Magicians fic, and it showcases every character from the show, and I think I did a passable job of hitting every voice.  So I’d be proud to show that one around.

20. Have/Would you ever rewrite a fic? If yes, would you take the original down?

Would I rewrite it?  Sure.  Would I take down the original?  Um, that’s a little more difficult.  On the one hand, I’m not really ashamed, as such, of anything that I did.  But having two copies of things would get really complicated and onerous.  I might actually start a second pseud, like maybe kelex-originals or something like that, and move the originals over to that, and leave the rewrites on my main, with a link to the original in the notes.  Yeah, that’s probably what I’d do.

21. If someone starts kudosing and commenting your fics in a spree and has a few works of their own, would you go look through theirs?

HELL YES.  Mostly because I’m always looking for shinies to read in fandoms I don’t write for.  I also kind of like to read their stuff and get a feel for who they are and why they like what I’ve got.  But mostly, I just love it and it makes me giggle watching someone go through my fics and like EEEE THERE YOU ARE AGAIN.

22. Has there ever been anyone who’s made you freak out because they read your work and followed/favorited/reviewed?

Fucking scads of people, actually.

23. What’s the nicest review you’ve ever gotten?

Oh man, I’ve got a fuckton of good ones.  But the one that I always get a kick out of is on one of my Gotham fics, and the comment was along the lines of, the tag mentioned bed-sharing and they thought that was all it was going to be, but it was so much more and they got caught up in it and it was wonderful.  And that’s my favorite (if not the nicest) because I love the fact that I was able to give someone something they enjoyed, even more because it was unexpected!

24. What’s the meanest review you’ve ever gotten? Do you think the reviewer intended it?

It was a review back in the days of OneList, and I was told that my pencils should be broken and my keyboard taken away because I was a terrible writer.  And yes, I know they meant it.

25. What constructive criticism, however well-meaning, always makes you feel bad when you see it in a review?

It’s less a concrit and more a crit.  But it’s always, “why did you do X?  It was out of character!” and that makes me grit my teeth.  Mostly because I feel like I’ve always explained, thoroughly, why I’ve done something (whether in dialog, in the writing itself, or heavily implied in monologues), and that question always makes me want to throttle someone because either they didn’t get it, or I didn’t.  

26. What aspect of your writing do you most enjoy to see praised?

Humor.  I’m a sarcastic bitch, and when it’s appropriate (and sometimes when it isn’t), I have funny characters or have characters deadpan things.  And it delights the fuck out of me when someone highlights that as one of their favorite parts.

27. If you could only ever write crossovers or single-fandom fics ever again, which would you pick?

Single fandom fics.  I’m not a fan of crossovers, though I’ve written them from time to time, and probably will again if I think it’s appropriate.  I just prefer not to cross the streams, as it were.

28. if you could only ever write for a single crossover or a single fandom again, which would you pick?

Good Omens.  Hands down.  So. Many. AUs.  So many ideas.  So many delightful characters.

29. Does the division of your writing across fandoms line up with your reading? What’s the biggest discrepancy?

It does not.  I read far, far less than I actually write.

30. Do you continue to write for a fandom after you’ve moved on or do you focus solely on the new one?

I usually focus on the new one, however, I’ve occasionally re-visited a fandom after I’ve left it, because inspiration hits me, or I’ve gotten back into it.

31. Who’s the one character you’ve just never managed to get perfectly right?

Margo Hanson, from the Magicians.

32. Who’s the one character who shines without you even trying?

There’s a few.  Eliot Waugh, Lex Luthor, Jack O’Neill, the Doctor (9 & 10 mostly)

33. Is there any particular character whose scenes always wind up being longer/more frequent than you expected? Does the quality hold up?

Not really?  Characters and scenes are as long as they need to be.  I do think the quality holds up, though, because honestly, by the time they’re done, I’m done.

34. Was there any fic that you wrote that really surprised you in the fandom reaction? Was it just by the numbers or did they take it an entirely different way?

Not really, or if there was, I don’t remember it.

35. Have you ever written a ship into a fic without meaning to?

Yup.  It snuck in there, especially in the background early on, and by the end I was like, what the fuck, I don’t even ship you, YOU DON’T EVEN GO HERE.

36. Have you ever sincerely written a ship you do not support into a fic?

Nope.  If I don’t like a ship, I don’t write it.

37. Have you ever purposefully bashed a character/ship in a fic?

No.  Not as a writer.  But like, I have written a character saying “I don’t think X belongs with Y, they belong with me!” because that’s pretty much how the actual relationship went down.  (Spike, Buffy, Riley most specifically.)

38. Have you ever purposefully written something you know your readers would find uncomfortable/would not enjoy? If yes, why?

Very, very, very many years ago.  I wrote it just to see if I could.  I could, I did, and I haven’t written it again.

39. Do you consider yourself to have a readership?

No.

40. Do you feel like you put out enough content?

I feel like I put out what I need to.  Is it enough?  idk.

41. If you cross-post your fics on multiple sites, do you have a favorite? Are there certain fics you would only post on certain site?

AO3 is, hands down, my favorite.  For awhile, I was posting to WWOMB (Wonderful World of Make-Believe) but I’ve stopped there, sadly.

42. How many views has your most popular fic gotten?

Consortio is my most popular fic, and it’s gotten 21,658 hits.  Although the fic is multi-chapter, so I don’t know how to break that down into individual hits. In fact, four of my five most popular are multi-chapters.  The only single-chapter fic is What He Wants, clocking in at 6,743. 

43. Your least popular?

The Rose and the Yew Tree, with 0 hits.

44. Do you follow/favorite/kudos/comment/review more stories than you have received?

Unfortunately, no.

45. If you had to call yourself an author of a single genre (besides fanfic) what label would you give yourself?

Pornography.

46. Do you consider yourself a diverse author?

Diverse as in fandoms?  Yes.  Diverse as in style?  Not so much.

47. If someone you know in real life who isn’t involved in fandoms asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first?

I’ve done that before, and I’ve tailored it to the person and what I know they like.  For example, my old boss got me hooked on La Femme Nikita (the Peta Wilson one), and so when she wanted to read my writing, I gave her my LFN fics to read.

48. Does anyone you know from outside of fandom know you write fanfic? Are they involved in the same fandom too?

Yes, and some of them.

49. Has anyone in your life ever read your fanfic just because you wrote it?

Yes.

50. Has writing fanfic had a significant impact on your life? Would you say it’s entirely positive?

It has had a very significant impact, and no, it hasn’t been at all positive.  Some of my best moments, as well as my worst, are because of fanfic and fandom, but fanfic in particular.  Fic’s brought me close to people, fic’s pushed me away from people, and it’s made people change the way they look at me.

[siderealxmelody]

Henry II's Backstory

@redeyesgreeneyes

@candy-addicted-angel

@fallcnintohell

@you-shouldnt-have-cut-my-wings

@hunterxcarlie

@tohavelost

@truesymphony

Henry never believed that his mother was killed by some demon. He remembered being forced to go on hunts with his father and seeing what he saw. But even then he didn't believe it. Maybe he was in denial, maybe none of it was real and had a simple explanation.

He tried to dissuade his siblings from believing his father but he couldn't. He especially stopped trying with Dean. Let Dean be the Good Son, it would lead him to ruin anyway.

He had plans for himself, he wanted to get out of the small little town he was born in. He wanted a normal life, a house, a good job. He wanted to make good money, enough that he didn't have to worry about bills like his parents had to when his mother had been alive.

For fuck's sake Winchester wasn't even their real last name. Their father had changed it in an effort to avoid police scrutiny and keep whatever had killed their mother away from them. Apparently he'd been looking at a world map at work the week before Mary's death and liked the name. Which to Henry tells everything you need to know about a man like John. He worked as an auto mechanic and was too broke to even go outside the country. He was the kind of guy who looked at maps and planned trips he'd never take.

At 18 Henry had had enough and left for NYU. He double majored in marketing and business and got a job at Goldman Sachs. Along the way he met Cassandra a architecture and theology. She wasn't very religious but curious about understanding the history and significance of the architecture around her. He loved hearing her speak of the different buildings as they walked around NYC.

Two years into their schooling they had a daughter named Cora. Cassandra's parents had money and they loved Henry. So they were more than thrilled to have a granddaughter to dote over.

Two years later after they graduated from college they had a son, Kevin. He stayed most days with his grandparents in their penthouse apartment. Two years later they added their baby girl Rosalind.

Henry thrived in his job and home. He loved to tag along business trips Cassandra took. He loved to see how interested the kids were as Cassandra would rattle off facts and stories about the different buildings around them.

For a time everything was okay, but Kevin started to act strange when he turned 9. Talking to people who weren't there, being rude and reactive.

It had gotten to the point he had pulled a knife on little Rosey when she took his chips.

Henry and Cassandra were beyond worried and took him to many different child psychologists but no one could give them an adequate answer.

At 10 Kevin escalated things by stabbing his grandmother in the shoulder when she refused to give him any sweets as it was past 8 at night.

She was rushed to the hospital and Henry and Cassandra had to make a decision. He needed care and attention they couldn't give him so they decided to send him to Pleastantview Mountain Hospital in the catskills. Henry and Cassandra reached out to high powered friends everywhere to make sure the hospital was as good as their reputation stated. The last thing they wanted was for their son to be hurt more.

A week after his grandmother was sent home Kevin was taken there and kept in their children's corner.

The family visited once a month and the place looked to be helping, he had activities and school work he could do. He was given a specific case worker and therapist to talk to once a week.

They were hoping he'd be able to come home by Christmas in a few months.

But by Thanksgiving Kevin was acting out and angry, doctors advised to let him stay a little longer.

This turned into three years where he would fluctuate back and forth some weeks would be good, some bad.

At 13 he started to talk to his parents about what he saw as a child. Ghosts and demons following him around, haunting his room.

Henry had read child psychology books and knew he had to place this just right. He had to make sure Kevin knew he could talk to him but indulge in these delusions.

His grandparents had a different story, they believed Kevin wholeheartedly and told them they'd been hunters of the things Kevin was talking about. They retired when Cassandra was born.

Cassandra left the conversation and didn't speak to her parents for a month. Henry was taken aback and his in laws assured him they knew his past, it was one of the main reasons they approved of the match. Apparently John had reached out, his mother in law Janet and he went back, did a case up in DC when Cassie was 16.

They'd kept in touch ever since.

Henry was furious he'd tried so hard to get away from his father, to at least have some semblance of normalcy and his father still crept into his life.

He called his father that day demanding he stay away from his family and never contact him or his family again.

Henry and Cassandra both agreed it was better Kevin stayed in the hospital than come home. They didn't want the grandparents to make him worse.

Their daughters were flourishing given the circumstances, Cora at 15 was doing equestrian events on her local school team. Rosey at 11 was making friends and getting into make up and dresses.

Fast forward a few years the family still visited Kevin every month and spent holidays with him.

At 16 Rosey came to her parents and said she was pregnant, her boyfriend Theo was more than happy to step up and assured the parents he'd do everything in his power to be a good father.

He came from a broken home with a single mother so he was hoping to be the father figure he hadn't gotten.

Henry had a soft spot for him and after speaking to Cassandra they agreed Rosey and Theo could keep the children. Provided they promised to both graduate from high school and go on to college. They agreed and on March 15th 2016 Darian Alder Goldwood and Lainie Aster Goldwood were born. They were adored, Kevin even sent some artwork to hang in the nursery for them.

Rosey was elated, she loved to be a mother, she once told Cassandra she'd love to just stay home and raise the kids.

Cassandra was supportive but said an education couldn't hurt.

Two years later after they graduated high school Rosey found out she was pregnant again. She and Theo were overjoyed.

Kevin was beyond excited, seeing his family especially the twins always made his week.

Theo proposed soon after when they were walking in central park. Theo, had had a rough year. His mother Olivia had hung herself in the beginning of senior year. It was odd she had never shown any signs of being suicidal. It all had happened so suddenly.

Henry and Cassandra had payed for the funeral and the first year's rent of an apartment across the hall from them for Rosey, Theo and the twins.

When their third child was born she screamed as she entered the world, Theo and Rosey decided to name her Xena meaning life for the all the vitality she had. Xena Olivia Goldwood brought a joy to her family that they sorely needed.

Kevin was ecstatic when he finally got to hold her. He adored his nieces and nephew and drew drawings and made up stories for them.

Still he had violent outbursts so Henry and Cassandra agreed that to keep Kevin in the system was best.

Finally a year later in the summer of 2019 Rosalind and Theo were to marry. They had finished the first year of their college journey both going to NYU. Rosalind majoring in business she wanted to open her own clothing line. Theo in Visual and performing arts he wanted to build sets for Broadway.

For her wedding Rosey had one request that Kevin be allowed to attend. Henry and Cassandra were skeptical but talking it over with his doctors and therapist they thought it would be a good trial run.

Besides the wedding wasn't going to be very big, just close family. The reception was where all of Henry and Cassandra's business and work friends could come.

On the day of August 9th everything started out great. Cora had made time to come home. She was usually traveling around the world giving talks and doing sports with her horses. She had a ranch up in Montauk.

Kevin seemed nervous when he first got there but slowly relaxed as his nieces and nephew trailed after him and demanded some stories.

The wedding was a simple affair, Rosalind looked beautiful and Cassandra walked Theo down the aisle. They kissed and everyone toasted.

The reception was to be held the next day in their penthouse. For now everyone could relax the night away. Henry and Cassandra hadn't spared any expense and had rented a big lake house for everyone to sleep in. Since the penthouse staff would be up before dawn to get everything ready before guests and the family arrived.

Around 10 there was a scream. Cassandra had come to Rosalind and Theo's room to see if they wanted anything specific for breakfast the next morning.

Theo and Rosalind lay dead in their beds. Before Cassandra could run to the phone she was dead, her throat slit.

Kevin moved around the house and killed his grandmother next. His grandfather tried to hit him with a gun he had but it didn't seem to affect him.

Kevin didn't look like himself, his face was expressionless as if he wasn't even aware of what he was doing.

Cora ran into the room to see Kevin stab him and run out of the room. Cora stood in shock and horror. She ran to her grandfather's side when she saw he was still breathing.

She begged him to hang in there while she went to call the police. Her grandfather said there was no time. She would need to use this special knife to kill Kevin.

She protested, how could she kill her own brother?

Her grandfather assured he he wasn't her brother anymore, he was a demon, he was possesed, and, he needed to be put down.

He passed before Cora could ask anything else.

She found Kevin the living room yelling at Henry that he should have belived him. That he should have stayed with his family and they'd all be safe. If Henry had listened, if he'd stayed they would have all been safe. The angels swore they would have protected them all. But no, Henry didn't listen and now they all had to die.

Cora couldn't stop him from killing their father. But she'd die before she allowed him to hurt the kids.

She asked Kevin as he shuffled toward her if he would kill the kids after killing her. Kevin shook his head, his brown eyes wide and overblown like he was on cocaine.

He would never kill them, they were innocent. They could be saved, all they needed to do was say yes and an angel would save them. He was trying to save the world didn't she see that?

Cora nodded her head tears in her eyes as she went to give him a hug. She would do this as painlessly as possible.

Kevin hugged her and as he pulled back to stab her she did it first. Watching in shock as golden light flashed a couple of times in his body and he went limp.

She backed away from the body and ran to her phone. She called the police and told them everything.

Cora waited as the police came and spoke to her again, took crime scene pictures. The kids had thankfully been asleep this whole time and Cora was asked if she wanted to take them or place them in foster care.

She knew that the life she had had was gone. She'd need to be do everything in her power to give those kids a stable homelife. Even if she barely knew them.

She of course agreed to take them. Once all the funerals were done and the wake was finished she left.

She transferred all the money from all her family's account into her name and moved up to Montauk. She expanded her ranch adding chickens and cows. She couldn't bare to sentence another living thing to death and so bred them.

Only giving her animals to ranches like hers or animal sanctuaries where they'd be cared for the remainder of their lives.

She never reached out to any of her dad's siblings if even a sliver of what Kevin had said was true she wanted no part in it. She rather pretend none of it was real than be dragged back into that hellish nightmare.

[bthump]

Hi! What are your top 10 ships (any fandom)?

Hi, ty for asking! This is really hard to narrow down lol, but I tried.

In no particular order:

Guts/Griffith - Berserk

The current otp ofc. What can I say that I haven’t already said all over this blog?

Will/Hannibal - NBC Hannibal

This is my ideal ship. It’s stupid how perfect it is. It’s basically my ideal slowburn longfic but yk as a 3 season gorgeously shot and acted tv show.

Doctor/Master (especially Three/Delgado Master, and excluding het combinations lol) - Doctor Who

This ship is fantastic because it’s so versatile. You want childhood friends to lovers (to enemies)? Gallifrey era. You want bitter exes or frenemies with benefits? Three/Delgado. Five/Ainley was never my thing but if you want creepy villain/plucky hero there you go. You want former enemies who now live together in weird domestic bliss? Shalka. You want pathetic desperate protag willing to throw his ideals along with the rest of the world under a bus to get laid? Ten/Simm. It’s even got its own rairpairs, like cross era combinations or  Two/Warchief. This ship can run the gamut from fluff to angst to serious darkfic and never be ooc. It’s a delight.

Harry/Draco - Harry Potter

I mean I loved it when I was 14 and even though I couldn’t care less about Harry Potter now it’s still there for me. Like, if I want to read something gay and can’t find anything that strikes my fancy? I turn to drarry man, there’s so much genuinely fantastic novel length fic out there, you’ll never run out.

Xena/Gabrielle - Xena: Warrior Princess

Xena/Gab is an odd ship for me because they’re not really my type lol. Friends to lovers is something I’ve always been a little meh about, and while they have their tense and interesting and complex moments their appeal is mainly the soulmate thing. But this ship makes the list for two reasons: 1. they are immensely fun to watch together, like what they lack in an interesting dynamic they make up for in chemistry, and it’s a delight to watch the show and soak in all the ott subtext, and 2. Conqueror AUs. There’s a subgenre of Xena fic where Xena never turned good and met Gabrielle while she’s ruling the known world with an evil iron fist, and some of that has the good dynamics.

Fraser/Ray Vecchio - Due South

Honestly the main reason I ship them is because I love Ray and Ray loves Fraser, and Ray is one of those very rare faves that I actually want to be happy lol. But they do have a really interesting, and somewhat unique for me dynamic - Fraser prioritizes the abstract concept of duty over everything else, to really destructive lengths at times, while Ray prioritizes Fraser over everything else, also to really destructive lengths at times, and this leads to an unbalanced but v interesting relationship. Especially because like, this isn’t just a result of the show prioritizing Fraser lol, the narrative is very aware of this dynamic and explores it in interesting ways.

Eve/Villanelle - Killing Eve

I was into it from the start, and completely sold when Eve stabbed Villanelle. They’ve got the interesting shifting power dynamics, the disparate morals edging towards meeting in the middle, the violence, the chemistry, even the cute little domestic moments here and there. tbh I am a little.. nervous about where this show is going with them, because I am concerned they’re playing the Villanelle as a psychopath who can’t ~genuinely love~ thing straight, which could not be less interesting to me, but still, so far I’ve gotten more than enough material to keep me happy and hopeful.

D/Leon - Pet Shop of Horrors

In general they’re just a ridiculously fun dynamic, like come on. You’ve got the odd couple thing, you’ve got Leon switching between criminally investigating D and basically coparenting his brother with him, they all go on vacation together at one point, they have like, a dragon kid together, and who doesn’t love the married couple bickering? Also the ending [vague spoilers] is exactly the kind of sad romance I love. They both realize they’re in love, and D chooses to run the fuck away because he doesn’t know how to love a human, while Leon chooses to run the fuck after him for the rest of his life if that’s what it takes. This is technically subtext, but only barely.

Troy/Abed - Community

They had me at the Somewhere Out There duet. I stopped caring about the show after season 3 and I’ve only seen a few episodes since, but man when Community was good it was great and Troy and Abed were the mvps and clear otp of the show. Tragic that Harmon couldn’t commit beyond gay jokes tbh, but at least we’ll always have the romantic zombie episode.

Starsky/Hutch - Starsky and Hutch

This is a bit of a weird choice because I was never super into the fandom, like I haven’t read much fic, and I watched the show back in like my first year of university but not really since because like, it’s a 70s cop show lol, there’s not a whole lot that’s worth watching about it. But man, Starsky and Hutch are the damn kings of the extremely emotionally intense homoerotic friendship. Their off the charts chemistry and constant hurt/comfort plots were next level, and fully engaging and super fun to watch despite everything else.

(Also the 4th season is terrible, but shockingly good and ridiculously coherent if you watch it with the understanding that in between season 3+4 they had sex or made out or something and Starsky freaked out and Hutch is alternately depressed and pissed off at Starsky for his avoidance. Like that reading legit ties everything together lol, from their suddenly strained relationship to random jokes(?) like Hutch encouraging Starsky to try free word association, giving him the word “closet” to start, and Starsky getting mad about it for no reason. And in the 4th to last episode (production order) they clearly finally get together for real, in the coda to Starsky vs Hutch. I mean come on they fight while dating the same woman and then make up off screen and the final scene is the two of them meeting her in a bar and telling her she gets both together or neither, then walking away with their arms around each other when she turns them down.

I may have just wanted to ramble about this lol.)

[xena-wolfgang]

this is a totally selfish rant that i expect no one to read, i just need to get this out into the universe so i can move on with my fucking day

so, once upon a time i had a friend, someone i thought was my very best friend, we’ll call her Traci. Traci and i became friends in grade school and i was there for her for a lot of bullshit that her family put her through. i supported her decisions even when i didn’t agree with them and i think over all i was a pretty damn good friend to her. i always took her out for her birthday and made sure to send her messages on her birthday if we couldn’t go out that day. the years that we lived together i would do a deep clean of the apartment and would get her a cake (one year it was a custom cake that cost me way more money than i actually had for it, but she was my best friend and her parents weren’t doing anything for her birthday because they were too caught up in their own drama so i thought it was worth it for her). 

she often described me as “her person”, the one she knew she could always call on for help. i stuck up for her to her parents when her boyfriend moved in with us (her parents were very religious and thought it was a sin). i drove to her dad’s house one night in a rainstorm and yelled at him for telling her shit that he had no right to tell her about his divorce from her mother (and the things he told her are things no parent should be telling their child, esp. when it shows what a fucking hypocrite you are since you think she’s “living in sin” and what you have been doing is way way worse) because she had come home crying over everything he had said. i encouraged her to marry said boyfriend if it was what she really wanted to do even though everyone was telling her not to (they’ve been married 6 years btw). there are so many times we were in school that i stuck up for her, that i held her hand when she was sad or scared. so many times we stayed up laughing at nothing and everything, so many times i went above and beyond in my friendship for her. 

on october 11, 2012 she married her boyfriend and they moved out of my apartment. i heard from her less and less, but that’s what happens sometimes when you have a friend that gets married and moves out. in december of 2013 my grandfather (who i was extremely close to) died of cancer and i messaged her about it. i don’t really remember her response, but i’m sure it was some generic “i’m so sorry, let me know if there is anything i can do for you”. she did not attend the funeral. at the time i didn’t think anything of it as it was just a few days before christmas and the night before we had a horrible snow storm. a few months later i got a text from her asking me to call her when i was on my break at work. she told me that one of her aunts was in liver failure and they didn’t know how long it was going to be. it came out of the blue as far as anyone in the family knew and they were all (understandably) in shock over it (despite her family’s insanity they are all very very close). i told her to keep me posted on events and she said she would. then she told me this ‘hilarious’ story about her taking nightquill (it’s like having her drink a whole bottle of whiskey) and calling a friend of hers from her new job (she’d worked there like 6 months). during this 5 minute story she referred to this girl as her Best Friend about 4 times. i quickly ended the call obviously hurt that she wouldn’t clarify this girl as her best WORK friend, and it felt like she was purposely doing it. a week later i found myself in a church for her aunt’s funeral to support my friend. i even went to the graveside service because it was close to my house. i realized as i was standing there in the pouring rain standing next to this girl who had been my friend for most of my life, who i was there to support at the loss of an aunt who she hated, hadn’t even bothered to check on me after my grandfathers funeral. she had made no effort to even go to any aspect of the funeral (mormon funerals are very very involved). this fact was very relevant at that moment because not only was it only a few months between the deaths, but we were about 50 yards away from my grandfathers grave. that was the moment i realized that she wasn’t a good friend. all those parties and late night adventures and trips and whatever else didn’t mean dick to her. i was replaceable and i had already been replaced.

is it childish and petty of me to end a friendship that had lasted over 20 years based on two little things? maybe. but you know what happened after i had that realization at the cemetery? i thought of all those times she wasn’t a very good friend. like the years that i got her amazing christmas gifts that i put a lot of thought in and she got me some generic gift that was almost exactly what she had gotten everyone else. or the time i had to buy my own birthday gift two months after my birthday because she kept forgetting to get me one and she just paid me back. or the time that she called me on my birthday and complained for over an hour about her then boyfriend and didn’t wish me a happy birthday. i think that one wins the prize because it took her over a week (and a somewhat nasty call from me pointing out that she had forgotten something, and then a two hour wait) to realize her mistake. and you know what, i don’t even remember if she managed to do anything to make it up to me other than some lame apology. at this point you might just be saying to yourself that maybe traci just isn’t a very good friend over all and i’m taking it too personal. maybe she’s just and overly selfish person and i’m just too damn giving. well, that line of thought is totally understandable and i would completely agree if you didn’t take into affect all our other friends. she planed birthday parties (an entire weekend for one girl, and i’m pretty sure it was a few months after my forgotten birthday) that were intense and fun and crazy and she couldn’t even remember mine long enough to wish me happy birthday.  and when she did i would get some generic Happy Birthday message and lunch (maybe) a lame un-thoughtful gift (if i got any) and a cupcake (did i mention the $30 custom Xena themed cake when i was living paycheck to paycheck and living off ramen????). and it wasn’t just birthday parties either, there was all kinds of stuff that she did for our friends over the years that she never did for me (and remember, i was her Best Friend, i was Her Person). 

i bring this up because my birthday is next month, and i’ve been dreading it since january because while it’s not really a Big birthday, it’s this weird milestone i didn’t think of until my mom pointed it out and it’s been messing with me ever since (i’m not going to get into THAT right now, because that’s a whole different level of insanity). and today, today is traci’s birthday. i’ve been thinking about it for days, it’s hard to forget her birthday, it’s etched in my brain and the urge to wish her happy birthday and flood her inbox with birthday gifs and messages (like i do with all my friends) is strong. but i also know that if facebook didn’t tell her when my birthday was i wouldn’t get anything from her because i probably don’t even cross her mind anymore. and that’s the part that kills me. we were best friends, we did everything together. but she never planned a birthday party or weekend get way for me, or even a girls night out when i needed cheering up. she couldn’t even be bothered to remember my birthday. 

[keyofjetwolf]

Out of curiosity, I just Googled distance from Greece to China by sea, and it’s about 9000 nautical miles, so over 10,000 land miles. Google goes on to tell me this distance would take about 40 days to cover, and I’d assume it to be longer in Xena’s time, but we can stick with 40 days for discussion.

So over a month, Xena sits here marinating in all her choices that led her to this. Over a month, Gabby’s on her own, crumbling under the weight of all that’s happened, knowing Xena’s chosen someone and something else over her. We’ll get an episode later that fills in some of this gap, but I really want to carry this with me, this HUGE amount of time they both had without the other and all the wasted potential in it. They could have made SO MUCH PEACE with shit, if Gabby had just gotten on the fucking boat. Even if she’d gotten to the other end and decided to never set foot in Chin, to immediately go back to Greece, it would’ve changed EVERYTHING if she’d just boarded the boat.

It’s yet another perfect look at how fucked they both are right now, but particularly Gabrielle. Peel away all that she’s recently been through, and can you imagine our Gabby not seizing EVERY SINGLE OPPORTUNITY to talk Xena out of this? When have you known Gabrielle to step back from Xena -- from ANYONE -- and just shake her head sadly? This trip to Chin is an entire solid month of persuasion and badgering time, right there for the taking, but Gabby puts her hands up and backs away. It’s so preposterously unlike her, that we can whirl back around to Xena having her head so far up her own self-righteous self-recriminating ass. She should be all the fuck over this, this is the least Gabrielle-like Gabrielle has ever been, and Xena should at this point be shoving Gabby into her carry-on bag. Again, I want to point out, YOU’VE GOT OVER A MONTH AHEAD WITH FUCK ALL ELSE TO DO.

But neither of them do this. They can’t! Xena’s so happy to drown in her own hatred and Gabrielle’s rejection is a sweet wineskin to pour down her throat as she goes. Keeping Gabby in Greece, where she won’t actually see what happens and so maaaaybe maybe maybe will forgive Xena, is the only possible spark of a good thing she can see waiting for her after all this. It’s everything Xena could possibly, selfishly want, so of course she doesn’t take the two seconds to consider anything past that.

On Gabrielle’s end of things, this is all too much. She, too, is stuck in the bog of her own misery and selfishness. This isn’t about Past Xena and Lao Ma and Ming Tien, it’s about Current Xena and Gabby and Hope. The words to convince Xena won’t come, because for once, Gabrielle doesn’t have the power of her own conviction. She needs Xena to just AGREE, she needs the proof that Everything Turns Out Okay. It’s her last fucking thread and she’s desperately clinging to it, aware that every breeze could be the one that’s too strong and then she’ll be lost. Gabrielle is too wounded to fight anymore, and Xena leaves her there to bleed out alone.

I know I keep coming back to this, and apologize for being a broken record. I just HRRRN, I have SO MANY FEELINGS about how fucking beautifully this is all set up. The pillar they -- characters and creators -- spent YEARS building together, only to chip away and chip away and chip away until there’s this fragile thing, unbalanced and worn through. We’ve got two separate sets of extremely complicated emotions and motivations, working at opposite purposes, yet also perfectly in-tune to destroy everything. And it’s all exquisitely in-character. 

[callie-the-snarky-geek-blog]

RvB16 Episode 7 Review: It Just Winked At Me

Last time on Red vs Blue: O’Malley came back bitches. That’s it. That’s all you need to know. No need to go into how Grif is all alone with only a talking lens flare and all the potential angst that writers can dig up from that. Or that Atlus is a dork who obliterated Tucker and Sister into subatomic particles. None of that’s important at all. Only O’Malley matters.

Alright, so this episode has been hyped for awhile. Joe hyped it up. Kyle Taylor (the Machinima director) hyped it up. Even Gus hyped it up. Any of this can mean anything. So as we enter the shortest episode so far (only 7 minutes… I guess Joe couldn’t make the episodes longer unless he’s holding them back for later), what has all the talk been leading up to? Well… I can say it was like nothing I’ve seen before!

Overview

So good news, Tucker and Sister are alive! Yay… yeah I knew that was coming. There is no way that they’d kill a long-time character and a fan favorite character they finally made a main like that. Also it looks like the blast sobered them up. So there’s your lesson kids: if you are drunk off your ass, being blasted by God is how you sober back up! Atlus tries to kill them a couple more times before finally realizing that ‘his’ protection is making that impossible. Also we find out that Kalirama is his sister, which explains her being the Queen of the Cosmic Powers. So goign into some speculating, Kalirama mentioned being the Daughter of Time. My guess has been that the villain is Chronos, the Personification of Time. It can also refer to Cronus, the King of the Titans and father of Zeus. If Joe made Chronos and Cronus the same person who Atlus overthrew and he and Kalirama and his kids trying to keep him locked up… wow and I thought the Church and Grif families were fucked up.

Since Atlus can’t obliterate Tucker and Sister, he goes with the option of ‘let my mindless minions do it’. So he summons up a cyclopes… I am NOT joking. Some may find this too bizarre, but as someone who likes mythical shenanigans I do NOT give a shit! Plus it fits the myth theme since cyclopes’ are part of both Greek and Roman mythology. So the cyclopes obviously isn’t a Halo character, so what did they do? They… put Gus in a costume/a ton of makeup and made him do it. Yes, you read that right. The cyclopes was RvB’s very own Gustavo Sorola. It is also, I believe, RvB’s first implementation of live-action within the show, at least on this level. It’s pretty good! I mean the cyclopes is butt ugly, but I’m pretty sure that was the point… sorry Gus.

So Atlus sicks… Grugh, I think? Screw it, I’m calling him Gus. My blog, my rules. Atlus sicks Gus on the two Blues. They understandably, make a run for it. At least until Sister quips that Tucker could prove how great a fighter she is. Which she meant as sarcasm… but Tucker of course has to decide to be Mr. Macho and face Gus. The result? Both the time gun and the sword get knocked away from him. I should also point out that Gus is about 100X larger than Tucker. So he can easily crush him… yyyyeah… not your best plan Tucker.

Back in the 6th Century (not the 16th like I wrote last week, Past Callie is stupid), Huggins is trying to figure out what to do now that O’Malley has gotten away and both she and Grif are stranded. Grif is currently… I guess looking for mushrooms since he mentions eating them later. Guess since he can’t talk Italian, that’s the only way he can survive, I mean it worked on the moon! Anyways, Huggins contemplates her options. Now because she’s talking fast, it’s hard to make out everything and for whatever reason,t he RT site doesn’t have a subtitle option that I REALLY hope they fix soon. But anyways, Huggins comes u with three potential solutions:

Wait it out and let time move along until she’s back in present day. This is ruled out because it would take far too long. This one is declared a ‘maybe’.

MURDER! Kill Grif and prevent at least one dirty shisno from fucking everything up! This is also ruled out as it goes against Huggins’ code and it’s also forbidden. Oh, but Atlus can obliterate people? I sense abuse of power!

Talk to Grif and convince him to team up so that they can find a way out of the 6th Century. But if she does this, thee penalty is getting tortured int he Underworld for all eternity. But this is the only option that could work, so… ye, she risks it.

Alright, so reasoning! Huggins goes to Grif, who is pretty much refusing to believe anything that is happening. Huggins tries to convince him to help her since otherwise hey’re both gonna die. Grif doesn’t buy any of it, especially when Huggins reveals that the Gods sent her to spy on them. SO he just walks away and Huggins is probably re-considering the murder option now.

Alright, back to the moon! Tucker tries to shoot Gus… and of course fails. Stupid guns! Sister retrieves both the time gun and Tucker’s sword as Tucker himself ducks inside the base. He tries to think of what to do… and sees his old armor set, giving him an idea. Gus reaches in and grabs what looks like Tucker, eating his head. Eww, Gus! That’ll ruin your teeth!  Also is this an Attack on Titans reference? I’m positive that it’s an Attack on Titans reference. But of course it was really the empty armor which Tucker stuffed with grenades. Which go off, distracting Gus and Tucker drives in with the Warthog, driving it straight into hos face. It finally knocks Gus down and Tucker along with him.

So it looks like Tucker wins, right? Haha… yeah… about that. Sister points out that normally when you beat the boss, they come back twice as powerful. You’d think that Tucker, living in a video game, would know this but meh. SO yeah, Gus gets back up and he is not happy. Hey Tucker, tell him that they should go to Vegas! That’ll make him REALLY angry I bet! Tucker runs into the caves and seems safe since Gus’ hand is too big… until Tucker says he needs to do it one finger at a time. And Gus can understand English, so… yeah…

Fortunately before Tucker can get grabbed, Sister channels her inner Xena and attempts to use the sword, jump down form the cliffs, and stab Gus in the head. But Tucker informs her too late that the sword only works for him. SO she gets smacked away and when Tucker exits the cave to help, he gets knocked over to her. Sister points out that cyclopes’ have a fatal weakness, so Tucker goe sin and… attacks Gus’ groin. I… don’t think that’s what she meant Tucker… but it works as Gus finally hits the ground. Well… not the defeat I was expecting, but it was a defeat!

Unfortunately, Atlus decides to sick Gus’ wife on them who is rather peeved that due to this, they can’t do hanky panky and have kids. Having had enough, Tucker and Sister FINALLY do what they should have done before: open a time portal and get the fuck out of there. Where do they end up? Well remember the medieval scene from Episode 1? Well they FINALLY connected it to the main narrative as the two end up on the same tower as medieval Grif and Simmons. And the two get arrested… WELP.

Review

This episode has had a lot of mixed reception so far. I haven’t seen anyone hate it, but many were disappointing. It’s understandable why. After all the hype, it was really just about a dumb joke. A very well shot dumb joke, but a dumb joke. There’s still so little about he plot we know, nothing advanced any further here, the episode was incredibly short, and it’s still unclear what all of this is leading us to. We’re on Episode 7 and no progress has been made. I think so far Joe has the opposite problem he had last year. Last year, he rushed it because he only ha done season. This year he has more than one, but due to it he slowed down. A little too much maybe. This coming off the heels of last week’s O’Malley plot bomb and… yeah I don’t blame people in being disappointed and viewing this as completely pointless.

I didn’t know how to feel during the first viewing… but when watching ti again to write this review, I was laughing so much. I got a LOT more enjoyment out of it. To be fair, I am always like that. I always like stuff on the second watch than the first one since I knwo what’s coming and I can better process it. And watching ti again… I don’t think that this was pointless at ll. There’s no major progression with the plot, and I agree that it’s been long enough. But… I got a lot out of this episode, even form Grif’s brief scene. Not just with plot, but the work on this episode is truly impressive imo.

Before we talk about that, lets do Grif’s scene. It’s only about a minute long and the only machinimated scene. Yeah, 95% of the episode was CGI animated. But Grif’s scene, while brief, was good. I wish we saw a bit mroe follow-up on how he’s doing after O’Malley left him stranded, but him living off mushrooms I can buy. Him also goign into denial over everything I can also buy. So not as much as I was hoping for with him, but good stuff that matches his character.

The scene’s actual importance is mainly setup for what’ll happen later. It also FINALLY gave us some time with Huggins’ since Episode 1. And OMG, I absolutely love her. Her rapid fire dialogue is kind of hard to make out, but her actress did a good job at it. Huggins is cheerful, but serious about her job. She understands the importance of what’s coming, but has to resort to breaking law since she’s in a position where otherwise, everyone is doomed. She’s cute, but also sassy as evident with her response when Grif calls her Tinkerbell (is that gonna be his nickname for her when he warms up to her? I want it to be!) Seriously I am already loving the interactions between Grif and Huggins and I am really excited to see more of it! Now how they’ll get out of the 6th Century IDK, but we’ll just have to wait.

Okay, back to the res tof the episode. As I said, pretty much the entire episode is CGI animated. it’s the first major CGI fight in the season, and it was awesome. Okay it was mostly running, but it was fun to watch. Tucker plowing the Warthog into Gus was freakin’ badass. The voice acting was also on point. I have never laughed harder at Jason Saldana’s performance than I have today and Becca continues to crush it as Sister. Seriously, going all Xena with the ‘alalala!’ war-cry had me dying. An ProZD as Atus… OMG ProZD. He was fantastic in this episode and it added so much to Atlus as a character. Like he is just enjoying the show and is so unimpressed with Tucker and Sister even when they win. His animation where he’s just celebrating watching Gus winning was also so freakin’ fantastic and again, dds to the character. Seriously, I wasn’t sure what to think of Atlus before, but he has already become one of my fav RvB villain ever after this episode alone.

So onto Gus… I have no idea how Joe talked him into this. I mean he’s done worst and IDT anything will be as bad as when he did the Baby Gus RT Short. That short man… anyways! I think Gus did really well! It felt like he was truly interacting with the environment. He didn’t have to do much acting aside form grunting and going around wildly, but it felt like he was playing a monstrous cyclopes. Credit also to Joe and his directing. I don’t knwo what inspired him to do this, but OMG I am so glad he did. I mean it looks weird and it’s ridiculous.., but it’s RvB. It’s always been weird and ridiculous. Plus using live action again sells the effect that the cyclopes is a monster compared to what we’re used to with the machinima. It sold the effect really well. So kudos to Joe and to Gus because shooting this and then editing it in had to be a nightmare.

It’s why I don’t think the episode was at all pointless. I mean we DO have some minor things. We find out that Kalirama is Atlus’ sister, the villain si indeed a locked up time God, get a taste of how powerful the Cosmic Powers forces are, have some characterization for Atlus, setup for Grif and Huggins’ plot, an actual fight scene after so long, and it FINALLY ties in the medieval scene. It’s also huge on a cinematic scale, which is probably why it’s only 7 minutes. I mena Joe and his team had to fully animate the episode, shoot Gus’ scenes where he’s pretty much just interacting with air, combined the footage together, likely do re-shoots if the live action was even slightly off, edit it all together with the machinima, and… yeah. This was likely a huge pain it he ass to do for everyone involved. But I appreciate that they did. Joe is going above and beyond what he has to do. he could just do solely machinima and it would be fine. But he’s trying new things, implementing more CGI, and taking the show to the next level. Is it a hit? That’s for one to decide on their own. I think it worked here, but I don’t think they should regularly implement live action as they did. Special occasions are fine though. But I still appreciate Joe trying things and putting in the effort when he doesn’t have to. He wants to make the show as good as he can, and I can absolutely respect that.

Final Thoughts

Did they hype this one too much? Maybe a little. It was not what I was expecting at all. But I don’t thin that’s a bad thing. Again, I appreciate them going out of their way to do this. Plus the animation, dialogue, and voice acting were really good. Can I understand why people don’t like this episode and are getting weary of the season? Absolutely yes. I do hoe that Joe starts to speed up the plot soon. But I still had a fun time watching the episode, and in the end that’s what matters: having a good time. It was weird and ridiculous and I wouldn’t have it nay other way.