#and yeah ik it’s not that good but it was till fun to write anyway lol

[cinnamonsly]

ok guys���. i did it…… go read it if you want to😭

still don’t rly know how Ao3 works so apologies in advance for formatting or tagging issues!!! but uhhh. yeah. runs away and hides

[sunflower-author]

HI i've been obsessed with akaashi atm so could you do yandere akaashi

he'd be such a sneaky yandere since he's so observant and memorises your little mannerisms and personality. he knows just what to say to you and other people as well to get you all to himself

anyway idm what you do, have fun with it!! hope you have a good day <33

SORRY IK IT IS SUPER LATE, AND I TRULY WANTED TO DO THIS!!

ALSO I WAS RAMBLING A LOT BUT HOPE YOU LIKE IT;)

~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^

      It's a Friday and school just ended, you go to the usual spot to meet Akaashi before he has to practice. A bench under the tree, on the opposite side of the gym, giving you guys time to talk, before making it to the gym.

After some time you see Akaashi turn the corner, from sitting on the bench you stand up to greet him. Smiling as you make your way toward him. 

"There you are, I was wondering if you ever were gonna come," you say jokingly.

"Sorry, that was my bad I was caught up with some schoolwork," Akaashi says. In reality, he was writing in his notebook about you. He has a notebook, where he keeps specific tabs about you. Your likes and dislikes, also including plans about what he would want in the future, plans like...

.

.

.

"Y/N, I was wondering if after practice today, would you want to come over to my house to study?" Akaashi says walking.

"Sure, our AP test is coming up, and I'll be lucky if I get 3/5," you say shyly, following after him. (Headcanon that Akaashi takes AP classes) *ALSO I SWEAR I'M GONNA FAIL THAT TEST!!!*

"No comment," Akaashi says as he continues to walk.

"Hey why'd you say that?" you ask, confused and a bit offended.

"Well.. what did you think I would say?" Akaashi asks curious.

"I don't know, just not that, maybe something encouraging at least," you say, trying to defend yourself.

"If I say something encouraging either one, you would hype yourself up thinking your gonna do well,  then do just below that, and get all sad and guilty," 

"When have I ever done anything like that?" you ask not believing that you would do anything like that.

 "Remember your Biology finial, you said that you wanted to get at least a 90, I said how you've been studying so your gonna do amazing, but then you got 89. You ended up with a B for that class, you stayed in you room a whole week during summer, all depressed."

"It dropped my perfect GPA," you say defending yourself.

"Or two, you would study all the time till you only do well on that one test and forget about the rest, before you say anything, midterms... Your lucky it was only midterms."

"That only happened once," In your defense you learned never to try that again.

Rolling his eyes he finally says "Or three, if I encourage you right now, you might not take studying seriously and think you can just wing the test, and therefore end up failing."

"Oh yeah.. I do that one a lot don't I," you say embarrassed.

"You have been improvising a lot more than you usually have, now that I think about it, is something wrong?" Akaashi asks concerned.

"Oh.. you've noticed that?" you ask as you stopped walking, looking down ashamed. " I admit that I have not been studying as much as before... I just feel like I'm burning out... or maybe I am burnt out..." 

Akaashi going right in front of you, he just pats your head, it may seem small, but it is your favorite form of affection from him. 

"You know it is normal to be burnt out, the important and most hardest part is overcoming it. I'm always free when you need me. If you want I'll skip practice today, we can just go straight to my house," Akaashi offers.

"That's very sweet of you Keji, but the volleyball team really needs you. You're the only one who can handle Bokuto, and I can't imagine how sad Bokuto would be when he finds out you're not there today." You reassure him.

"You know I care about you, more than I care about volleyball and Bokuto, just say the word and we can go to my house," Akaashi says, persisting.

"Keji, pretty soon is the Spring Nationals, you need to prepare, I'll meet you after your practice," you say as you start to part ways.

Unexpectedly Akaashi follows you grabbing you hand softly.

"Where are you going," he asks. Normally you would wait for him in the gym's girls locker rooms, till his practice is over, since there was air condition inside.

"I thought that today.. I would go stay in class and wait for you, maybe study a bit before.. so that you don't need to catch me up on anything, then we can study faster tonight," you said.

"What are you hiding?" he ask.

"I'm not hiding anything," you said defending yourself.

"You're avoiding eye contact with me, you keep scratching your neck, and your more defensives than normal, I can tell when you are trying to hide something Y/N," he said. After a few more moments of silence you finally confessed.

"Alright fine... one of my friends invited me to join track practice today, I know you don't want to join any sports, but it was just a practice, I'm not going to join," you said admittingly.

"Was that all you were trying to hide?" Akaashi asks, acting surprised. "I'm sorry if you felt like that was something you had to hide from me," his words so soothing, hiding the venom within.

"It was just because whenever I tell you about a club I was going to join you would always turn the idea down, or convince me not to do the club," 

"That is not true-"

"Soft tennis, kyudo, archery, ice skating, and now track and field," you cut him off, apparently Akaashi was not the only one that was keeping tabs on their partner.

"I just don't want you getting hurt, and plus who knows...  what if you get too involved in the sport and fall behind in school, also when you compete would you be willing to do it, all eyes would be on you, I know you get anxious in a crowd, and when you compete your coach, teammates, friends would all be counting on you," Akaashi explains.

"Yeah your right," you say, realizing that you shouldn't have thought about ever joining a sport, there would be no way you would be able to handle the stress and pressure. 

"I just thought I would be cool to have a sport since your in volleyball, I didn't want you to think I was lazy or something," you say timid.

"I would never think that about you, I know how much you study, how much you help your family around the house, I would never think of you as lazy," He says commending. "But just out of curiosity what type of event would you have picked if you were to do track and field?" he ask.

"It would be pole vault," you say. Hearing those words Akaashi was so glad to have convinced you not to. 

Pole vaulter's have upper body strength, and in the emergency of him kidnapping you, with you having some upper body strength it would just be irritating. He would win though. 

"Pole vault?" he asks, hesitantly.

"Is there a problem?" you ask curiously.

"It is just that pole vaulting is one of the most hardest events, and you're just going to jump into trying it," is all he says. 

But that was more than enough. What were you thinking, trying to pole vault, your in your 3rd year. Image trying to practice, how underclassmen will just see how bad you are. They must be way better, the season started 1 month ago. Also there was other events practicing too, image all those eyes on you.

"Yeah your right, it was just a dumb idea, I'm gonna text my friend that I'm busy," you said as you pulled up your phone, and started texting.

As you start to walk towards the gym with Akaashi following behind you.

[thatdesklamp]

hey! i’m the anon that once asked you about ur english a level if you even care to remember lmaoo. I JUST SAW THE REBLOGGED POST WHERE ANOTHER READER SAID THEY HATED SATORU FROM IW AND I’M???

obviously everyone’s entitled to their own opinions. i think that’s the point of reading anything tbh, form your own opinions and decide whether you like something/someone or not, bUT I LITERALLY CANNOT HELP BUT DISAGREE SO STRONGLY 😭 i’ve literally never felt this strongly about a person’s opinion on a fictional character let alone how the fictional character was written in a FANFIC 😀

and obviously, no hate to them or whatever. as i said, their opinion is theirs, i just randomly felt the need to tell you mine (ik you never asked, i’m bored and my student finance situation is pissing me off so here i am lol). i think the reason why i feel so offended (jokingly haha) about any hate towards satoru in ur fic is bcz you’ve written him identical to how satoru in the actual anime/manga is, so i felt like it was a well aimed punch to canon!satoru and as his certified wife, i can’t stand by and watch this happen 😟

he makes dumb decisions sometimes but i think that has a lot to do with the fact that hebi is quite literally his oldest friend and allowing whatever feelings he has to get in the way of that (without knowing whether she likes him or not from his pov) is risky in terms of their friendship and where that’ll take them. like in the chapter where they had their first kiss, ofc, we as readers know why she backed off and what she meant by how she couldn’t “do this anymore” (or something along those lines), but he was never aware of her NON-PLATONIC feelings towards him, so i think (i say think bcz i’m the reader and you’re the author so what you say GOES) he was just confused by what she meant.

like if i were to randomly start telling you a story of my life with no context, and you hear me say names of my friends somewhere along that story, but i never TOLD you they were my friends, you’d think “oh who’s that?” until i clarified who they are to me. quite like how he was probably confused when she was explaining how she couldn’t allow herself to indulge in something that she thought wasn’t reciprocated. he had no context and was therefore just… stupid lmao 😭 he was criticising her for leaving even tho she promised to stay bcz he just didn’t understand (not saying it’s hebi’s fault in ANY way, she is MOTHER, i will defend her till the day i die).

yeah i have a lot of other reasons why satoru is not a bad person in ur fic (he’s literally a copy of himself in canon, kudos to ur BRILLIANT writing and characterisation of him) but ik you’re probably bored and i have to go turn the house heating on bcz uk weather is no joke 😀

Hello!!

This is so so funny and lovely to hear—I’ve heard so much variety in opinions on Gojo in my fic, mainly through the comments, and so it’s so lovely when people genuinely take a proper big opinion on either side of the ‘debate’. I fully get why people would be anti-Gojo just because we’re so invested in Hebi’s perspective and when she’s treated poorly/feeling shit, it does reflect poorly on him. I think that’s why I found it fun to write the Satoru-pov oneshots; IW is such a case of ‘unreliable narrator’-ism in a way that’s not always immediately evident, and so taking yourself out of Hebi’s perspective and immersing yourself in someone else’s can really help to get a more well-rounded view of all the characters, I guess.

But yeah, I’m glad you think IW Gojo is similar to canon Gojo! I used to struggle so much with his characterisation with him as a kid, which was I think partly because he was a child and that’s difficult anyway, but also because IW was one of the first things I’d written in… like, actual years, and I wasn’t that good at writing at that point.

I do think a lot of Satoru’s dumb actions come from ignorance, in whatever aspect, and I think it’s up to the reader as to how much they ‘blame’ him for that. Especially in the later chapters: should he have noticed Hebi’s degredation in mental health, and should he have done something about it if he did, even if she had never reached out to him? She did, after all, never actually confide in him about anything troubling her: I made it a point to state it multiple times. That, I guess, is where people’s opinions will inevitably differ, as to assigning both blame and responsibility. The idea will come up a lot next chapter, but—perhaps it’s almost similar to the Geto/Gojo situation. Yes, Gojo noticed a change, and yes, he tried to talk to Geto about it: but did he do enough? Should he have tried harder? Would it have even made a difference? People have different opinions on their split, too, because it’s not so set in stone. I think that’s the main reason people would dislike IW Satoru.

More about ignorance: you’re right, I can’t see him knowing about Hebi’s feelings. Satoru’s so much more of an active character than Hebi, who is intentionally very passive (if only ‘intentionally’ so I can have the slowburn make some degree of sense, lmao, but hey!). If he knew, I’d have to have him confront her about it. Like, I cannot see Gojo *not* pushing for something if he ever thought there was a possibility of her reciprocating. So, in my head, it can be concluded from his lack of action pre-kiss, that he absolutely doesn’t think she likes him back, and he also absolutely doesn’t want to fuck up the friendship. Again: it’s so, so, so important to him. I try to justify it in the oneshots—I know so much of this is #miscommunication, but controversial opinion, miscommunication adds to the drama and is fun under CERTAIN SITUATIONS, it’s not always a bad thing. LOL.

But also low-key I get why people wouldn’t like him. But also I get why people would, and would be more than fucked off with Hebi. And why people would be somewhere in the middle. Idk where I stand, they’re just both my lil pooks, yk. <3

But hell yeah! I love ur Satoru defence squad. And enjoy your heating (😀) and respite from student finance—I wouldn’t wish that process on my worst enemy </3

[herluminosity]

Day 19

A lot has happened. My vackay was fun. I didn't wanna leave. We went to a water park,shopping,mini golf, and seen a dam. It was fun, till I returned.

Idk. What to write. I learned alot about my aunt too while I was there, and a option for me when im 18 next year.

Let me start with that. Yeah.

Shes abusive. Yeah you read that right, nobody. She mentally abuses me. She wants me mad, so she has a reason to get rid of me. She treats me way differently than the girls. She excludes me now. Doesn't brother inviting me to Family nights (as the girls returned). She also doesn't try. She doesn't try to shape this home to meet my mental needs, just lets me rot. Barely has any food for me. She says I spread rumors about her, says I am a waste of money, then goes back and says something different, to purposely confuse me. She also claims she doesn't abuse me, says I have, and been having a good home here.

Well, food,water, shelter isn't enough. I need understaing.

As soon as I got back from my trip, she quickly scolds me as we hop into the car. Says...well...I don't remember...my memory blocked most of it by now..

But she's...not good. I am isolating more than ever now. I'. in my room 24/7 but to eat. or do small tasks.

Yeah I call my bf, all the time. But honestly, I'm getting bored. of him. of the same things,over and over. I don't like repetition.

But I still love him. Anyways, I'm getting off topic.

It's just..Idk anymore. My aunt doesn't make life easy to live.

But one year. Then I'm free.

Oh, I remember one thing, she's a control freak. She just wants power over me, says no one wants me. When I know now that one family does.

And that she wanted me to go to a bordeing school when I was getting here first, last fall. She doesn't want anyone to have me. And at the same time, she doesn't want me.

Idk. Idk anymore. Ik i can't kill myself. I have no will power. But idk, i can't run away either. Im just, stuck. Like Rapunzel. And the Cinderealla too. My cousins the evil sisters and my aunt the evil step mother. Me the stuck cinderella.

Yeah I noticed this one post is long, but who reads these? No one. So whatever.

Now onto my boyfriend.

I love him, I do, he's my dream boyfriend come true. But..I don't like how we can't see each other irl, and can only call, and we do the same thing over and over and that i am bored! I can't ever bring myself to tell him that. Can't. He'll be hurt..

I am getting depressed slowly again.

And if you, my lovely boyfriend, read this, I just want you to know, no matter what, I love you. No matter what. Maybe we can try new things,idk..im sorry.

[written-beyond-the-grave]

Mikaelsons Black History Month

First off, I’m starting by saying that even though it is no longer Black history month it will always be melanin everyday and black people every day. And everything else under the sun, and if you don’t like it then the exit is to your left. Everything you own in the box to the left

Being part of the Mikaelsons is very fickle business and be some bs. Like really, you’re here with supernatural beings who are over 1000 years old. Who have traveled the world, gained endless knowledge, seen a lot of bloodshed, but you know what they haven’t seen? Their token human (black ofc) being ignant for black history month, I mean who even fully celebrates? How does one even celebrate?

Granted, they’re not racist. But with the writing Julie Pleck did she was playing honestly. That was the worst writing I've ever seen since who knows when. Maybe the nine lives of Chloe king or something? But in my originals universe they were probably racist in the beginning to an extent then grew out of it.

Anyways, they never met someone who celebrated until they met you!

Now repeat after me: I’m black y’all, and I’m black y’all. And I’m black and black and black y’all! FYM

Now…. picture this: A moderately quiet day in the Mikaelson household. Kol is minding his business for once, Rebekah is trying to find the perfect pics for her next instagram post, Elijah is enjoying a good read, and Klaus is organizing his art materials. But then here comes you, the human, opening the door and walking right in like you pay bills (none of them do but you get the picture) in the midst of the most deadly people. Walking in and greeting everyone, walking in with the most hotep, Dr. Umar bullshit getup they ever seen. Coming to America headass.

They recognize your footsteps from a mile away, so when you walk into the kitchen and no one really looks up at first it’ll be a sight to see a whole ass pelted lion on your back. The kente cloth hat (no idea the actual name for it, sorry babes), a saber tooth necklace (for my mans T’Challa), and the red stiletto nails with the afro out here banging.

SHEEEEEEEEESH

Once Elijah is done with his page he looks up to greet you, but then stops… Bitch, fuck is you wearing? This was worlds away from the sweats, and skinny jeans you wore on the daily.

“Greetings Y/N you look…. Fashionable.” Mans didn’t know what to say. Did he miss something about your Africna roots? Was there a holiday he hadn’t heard of, doubt it, but what else was there?

“Thank you Elijah.” You fluff out your lion pelt for added effect, if there was ever going to be one time you outdo the Mikaelsons’ especially Elijah in being dramatic with a coat or cloak of somesort, it would be now.

At this point the Kol and Rebekah have already looked up and were confused. Why are you dressed like that?

Kol is the first one to speak up “Darling, Rebekah likes a fashion show more than anyone, but why do you have a lion… on your shoulder.”

Lifting up your large ass shades you supplied an answer: “Black History Month”

They all looked at each other… they didn’t get it. Like they know what it is, but never actually understood how to celebrate and all that nor did they ever actually give it mind. When you saw that they weren’t making a connection, you started phase 1.

“Alexa, you know what to do.”

And there goes their manor playing: NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA I’M ONE HUNDRED PERCENT NIGGA

LMFAOOOOO you got the white people shook. Klaus just dropped one of his expensive ass bottles of art sealants and is vamp speeding to the kitchen to figure out what the hell is going on. Elijah having a mid century crisis on how tf they even found you and deemed you worthy of being in their presence so casually. Kol is having fun in the back, still laughing at your get up. And Rebekah wishes she went to the mall instead, she wanted a girl bestie and got you instead rip

“WHAT IN BLAZES- Y/N WHAT ARE YOU DO- WHAT ARE YOU WEARING! ALEXA STOP THE MUSIC-” And the big bad wolf has arrived. You put your finger to Klaus’ lips which stuns him bc… you’re still HOOOMAN like damn, death wish much? And you look this man, straight in his mit and say “Looks at, look at me” and pause for dramatic affect, “I am the captain now”

Room silent as hell till Kol starts cackling

You’ve made Dr. Umar proud, the ancestors are shining on you once again

With that you lead into a whole speech about the black struggle and black history month, bottom line: REPARATIONS. Because being the only nigga in the Mikaelsons (we don’t claim Marcel) is exhausting, white people shit everyday that you complain about in their faces

TBH at this point they’re indulging you in this escapade.

First victim is Elijah, you ask for his wallet. He gives you a look, I mean he does technically give you what you want and whatever (when y’all dating, refer back to my dating Elijah post), so he ask you why. Reparations sis why, but then you stop yourself. This man gives you his wallet every other day, half the time you not even asking. What could you rob this man of…. Ah. You ask him for the deed of one of his estates in Prague, why? Because you bitches can’t even spell Prague. And under section S line 45 subsection Y it does state that estates are eligible for reparations. Fuck 40 acres and a mule, you got 300 acres, some stallions in the back, a quite possibly haunted mansion, and a heavy dicked (yeah I said it, a sis been trying to reality shift) original who will turn you out by the end of the day and the end of the month…. Wait till women's history month boo

We know his pockets figgity fat, and it would be figgity wack to not get some

Ngl you take Kol with you so he can buy you food. Granted, he knows what you’re doing, but if he’s going to spend money on anything it will be thawed and it will be music. However, one thing leads to another and you’re both at Wal-Mart waiting to find a parking spot. You stole one off a white minivan trying to move in. Not thinking anything of it because who in this small ass Mystic Falls ass, clown ass town really about it? Apparently Karen.

But you know who else what about it? Kol (tbh mans had nothing but time, and he claims you so why tf not.) he out here NY stomping on her and coming at her for badly glued extensions. Cheap ass bitch, ain’t even blend in correctly.

After that Kol and you left with some groceries, a new story to tell, and a chopped cheese.

With Klaus, he frfr wasn’t finna do shit. Being ordered my a human? Lmfao, go find another simp sis. But… once you suggest that his art skills may not be up to par on what you have in mind as a new family room piece for your house he’s all ears. He knows what you’re doing, but… he still wants to prove you wrong. But anyways, you give him a theme… reverse racism. IK y’all, it’s not a thing, but mans has ideas. And he outdoes himself. That and the recreation of the moorish chief bc that man...mmmmm that man was giving.

Ok so Google wanna hoe me, but there was a painting of a black man in a kkk cloak and behind him were white people being hung from a tree. Say what you want, but that photo was fire. If any of you seen it please share it below.

Anyways

Rebekah tbh wants no part in this, but I feel like she’d gave when you ask her to give you all the finest dresses bc it’s an excuse to exhaust Klaus’ money.

Through the month you give the Mikaelsons a run for their money, and maybe sanity. Klaus is in the back trying to research who tf Dr. Umar is and why is he your inspiration

They had to pull you back when the sheriff asked you for your ID. You ask why you needed white man paperwork!

You are pleasing the spirits, what bonnie could never do lmfaooooo. The powers of you enemies aren’t prospering this month nor next month.

You’re not poor this month, anything you poor of is pouring a little more (bars nigga)

LMFAOOOO imaging asking the fam to go to paris, like, they not invited it’s a self trip funded my the Mikaelson Y/N Trust Fund of Public Decency ™

Klaus would be the first one to speak because this man is TIRED, “Love, why do you need a trip to paris? What’s in Paris?”

Knowing better, you look to Kol to answer the question, “I don’t know, Kol, who’s in Paris?” Niggas b. Niggas in paris…. Lemme chill

LMFAOOO enjoy

[letstalkaboutfandomsbaby]

Lemme write somethin self indulgent and stupid skskks

I am ashamed to admit this, but im a pretty jealous person. This isnt the fault of the person im with, it's just something i developed when i was younger and i haven't overcome it yet (hopefully one day tho!!)

Anyways, using that info, im thinkin about me and Nanami dating and going out to a bakery one day for fun :) and im having a great time admiring pastries with my boyfriend until the girl behind the counter starts gettin a bit too comfy with my man. He's not receptive to her advances at all but i dont like how smiley and giggly she is when he aint even bein funny like he's just bein blunt like usual but she's actin like he's a goddamn comedian 🙄 anyways, ofc im getting jealous and im gettin grumpy and start clinging onto Kento and glaring at this girl working today.

We eventually pick out what we want and we buy it (actually Nanami insists on paying even tho i try to pay for my own shit) and head home. Im still grumpy and Nanami picks up on this but he doesnt ask about it till we get home and im too proud to say that i was jealous so i just start kissing him sksksk

But i dont just kiss him the minute we walk through the door. No no no, i drag him over to the couch with me, removing his clothes as i straddle him on the couch. He tries to convince me to lie down so he can eat me out, but i just push him back against the couch and slip his cock inside me.

Am i a petty jealous bitch? Yes ofc and i will never deny that, but i cant help but get nervous whenever someone shows interest in my man!! Ik he's a catch and i don't wanna lose him 🥺 so what do i do? I ride him like my life depends on it, telling him how much i love him and how good he feels and how much i appreciate him, and i throw in some lines to make sure he feels the same:

"Does it feel good, Ken? Do you like my pussy? Do you like when i ride you? Nobody makes you feel as good as i do, right? I'm the only one who can make you feel this good, yeah? You love me, don't you, Ken? More than anyone else, right?? You're all mine, right?"

And he's groaning and babbling out replies, grunting and hissing out answers as he gets close, slipping him hand inbetween out bodies to rub my clit. It's too much, it feels too good, and we end up cumming together.

We relax on the couch in each others' arms, calming down.

"What was all that for?"

I shrug. "I just wanted to remind you that you're mine."

Nanami groans, and I can feel his cock twitch inside me, hardening again.

[tomurasprincess]

Hi, it's ⚡ anon, and I just wanted to throw out a few ideas that live in my mind completely rent free.

AfO buying his little sister some less than appropriate PJ's and forcing them to stay in those quite often.

Ik you don't write for him, but sero tying his darling up and sorta hanging them down from the ceiling while he rams them, any time they move the tape peels and reattaches causing a mild amount of pain

Another you don't write for, but just kinda floats in horny brain- izuku is a masochist we all know it, and overstimming him to hell, pegging him till he pulls a hawks (please tell me you understood that if not, till he's shooting blanks) y'know- just destroying him- idk. Also corrupting izuku. Just- 🥴🥴

I leave you with this, horni bakugo coming home, slamming the door and basically commanding his darling to get on their knees.

Anyway, uh yeah,, 🤪

–⚡

Oooh, are we talking super skimpy PJs that he can use to touch youmore easily, or super childish PJs that he can use to baby you and talk down to you because dear brother knows best? I’m not sure which of those options i prefer...

And oh, it’s not that I WON’T write for Sero. I don’t thirst for him much, but that doesn’t mean I won’t necessarily write for him (I still have a thirst thing with him that I haven’t posted yet, sorry about that.) But ooh, this is definitely a good idea. Especially if darling isn’t entirely willing, she keep squirming and kicking as he thrusts and it stings like crazy until Sero reattaches. You soon learn that you better stay still and take his cock or you’ll get hurt.

I’ve written for villain Deku before, but not so much regular Deku. It could be a lot of fun to write him being pegged by a yandere reader, though. Maybe reader is the villain who captures him, and you just have to show the adorable little hero in his place in society. You tie him up and peg him, holding tightly onto his cock so he can’t cum without permission. You utterly dominate him until he’s a sobbing, crying mess humping down into the bed simply trying to get some relief.

Darling protests, but he forces you down as he shoves his cock down your throat. Tells you that he’s had such a hard day and the least you can do for him is swallow every ounce of his cum.

I like the ideas living rent free in your mind 👀

[juno-actual-god]

part 2 of kinda analyzing the lyrics of Defying Gravity but also running on tangents and rambling :)

-continuing from where we left off with Elphaba. love her. um yeah let's goooo-

I'd sooner buy defying gravity

(this line is amusing. like bruh. you can't buy that but go off ig)

Kiss me goodbye, I'm defying gravity

(she wants a kiss! me too. can i kiss her? no. big sad.)

[Elphaba:]

Glinda, come with me

Think of what we could do, together!

(now Elphaba is doing the hopeful thing! this whole bit is so pure)

[not entirely sure if they both sing this but ik Elphaba does:]

Unlimited

Together, we're unlimited

Together we'll be the greatest

Team there's ever been

Glinda, dreams the way we planned 'em

[both:]

If we work in tandem

There's no fight we cannot win

Just you and I, defying gravity

With you and I defying gravity

They'll never bring us down!

[Elphaba:]

Well, are you coming?

(They sing all that together and Elphaba is So Hopeful. this is Her Friend. the first person that helped her and tried to understand her so sUrely she'll defy gravity with her too)

[Glinda:]

I hope you're happy

Now that you're choosing this

(and bam. Glinda's taking a step back and very softly something cracks)

[Elphaba:]

You, too

(wow. important. they want the other person to be happy.)

[Glinda?:]

I hope it brings you bliss

I really hope you get it

And you don't live to regret it

[both:]

I hope you're happy in the end

I hope you're happy my friend

(!!!! "my friend." they're disagreeing and they're angry but they both set that aside for a moment and recognize that they are friends. i just- bruh friendships are so cool. like. do you ever just. love your friends? appreciate them. cuz I forget and then something like this pops it into my brain - w o w just. that there are people out there that love me, not because they're related to me, or someone told them to, but purely because a person wanted to spend time and get to know me i- nbsagnzxb okay.)

[Elphaba:]

So if you care to find me

Look to the western sky!

As someone told me lately

"Everyone deserves the chance to fly!"

(i don't remember who told her that. but um yas fly queen!!)

And if I'm flying solo

At least I'm flying free

(yOuch? interesting message tho. that it's better to do what you will then have people holding you back. i think that really depends on the situation. um I could wax more poetic about how much I love my friends because I am a dumbass and they hold me back from doing things. and for that, i'm grateful. but also unhealthy friendships are bad. so idk about this one. i think it's a good thought. to think over. just idk about executing it)

To those who ground me

Take a message back from me

Tell them how I am defying gravity!

I'm flying high, defying gravity!

(break away from the haters. wreck them. ooo sic the flying monkeys on them lol)

And soon, I'll match them in renown

And nobody in all of Oz

No wizard that there is or was

Is ever gonna bring me down!

(Agghhh chillls. no thoughts. head empty and g a y)

[Glinda:]

I hope you're happy

(we love the support. when i go feral, I hope my friends hope im happy. lol she's not feral. me however-)

[stinky town folk with the green-tinted glasses:]

Look at her! She's wicked!

Get her!

(um. yeah. they don't like her. who knew.)

[Elphaba:]

Bring me down!

(hello? yes i think i'm in l o v e )

[green men:]

No one mourns the wicked!

(damn that isn't true. you queer code them and it's very sexy of you)

So we've got to bring her

[Elphaba:]

Oh!

(pretty riff thing!!. i always think it's like super high but it's totally in my range i just cant belt it. lol)

[g:]

Down!

(literally leaVe this Woman Alone)

ok that's it lads. hope u had fun. idk what im doing i just like writing things. uh if these blow up like literally at all- i'll make more. it's fun. also you can't stop me so i might do it anyway :)))

till our paths cross again <3

[washymylifeaway]

SunaOsa fanfic recs,,, well writer recs LOL

HI! Can you tell I’m excited? Well I’m very excited! I have been stuck in SunaOsa hell for the longest time and I enjoy it very much down here :D Come join me, you won’t regret it LOL. But seriously, I love SunaOsa and I meant to do fics, but then the sheer number of writers I had compelled me to make a post for them ahahah.... I’m here to finally prove to everyone that I am actually in love with SunaOsa and that I have not been lying to you all LOL (ik no one actually cares, but it’s an important matter to me). LEGGO!

As always, pls check WARNINGS, TAGS, and SUMMARIES for fics before reading and make sure you’re taking care of yourselves (since mental health is key!) Stay healthy loves <3

Each author is DIRECTLY linked to their SunaOsa works LOL. I actually didn’t think about this until now, and I didn’t know it’d work but here we are LOL. Whooooh internet :D Also, ignore that some of these writers have like less than 3 fics for SunaOsa,,,,,, I like their writing, okay? :’))))

I’m gonna preface this with I love all of these writers (if I didn’t, they wouldn’t be here) but I can only come up with so many ways to say I WOULD DIE FOR THIS WRITER and THEY WRITE BEAUTIFULLY so to save you from recursion, preface.

LINK TO MY SUNAOSA ML :D

DeathBelle // one I haven’t recommended and this one also got finished semi-recently, An Inconvenient Espionage by DeathBelle (E) 26.6k // a SPY AU! Where Osamu and Atsumu are separated due to necessity over anything else really, and both absolutely hate their partners :) I love their interactions as the fic progresses and how do you accidentally fck somebody? READ TAGS AND WARNINGS, SMUT!

tookumade // because I really can’t rerecommend the same mf fic for the 2384230 time (and cause this one deserves some love), colours in the dark by tookumade (G) 1.3k // an injury recovery fic :D The focus on the fic is on the recovery and the relationship more than anything, but I just love it so much! This is such a comfort fic, and I love their back and forth banter (but it’ll make you feel really single LOL).

rosegoldwriting // sjdkhjdslhf I CAN’T BELIEVE I HAVEN’T RECOMMENDED THIS ONE ANYWHERE WHAT come on with the rain by rosegoldwriting (T) 6.5k // SOULMATE AUUUU! I love my soulmate AUs and this was no exception :D Also I love singing in the rain (it’s been a while since I’ve seen it, but ik it’s a great movie), and ngl I agreed with Suna,,,, kissing in the rain just feels like it’ll be wet... Regardless, I love the ending and I love this fic too so :) (also ryan gosling cameo LOL)

bastigod // A COLLECTION OF FICS cause I love them and I haven’t recommended this yet :0, i've got you in the end i wish i had you from the start by bastigod (T) 8.2k // this is a collection of 7 one shots for sunaosa week! I loved the prompts for that week, and I loved each and every single fic on this list :D They’re all so freaking good and my favorite chapter was ch 3 hands down ljdfadjsf it’s GREAT :D

pancake_surprise // CAUSE CHOCOLATE and honestly the dove wrappers are say some stupid things sometimes like who’s writing these LMFAO, Melt with You by pancake_surprise (G) 2.8k // Osamu is doing what any sane person does with dove chocolate advice, he follows it. Not that it has any good advice, but I mean ig it worked? Trust the process? Anyway, I agreed with Atsumu in this (LOL) but hey it ended cute and I think that’s all that matters :’)

badreputation // OKAY THERE’S ONLY TWO BUT I LOVE BOTH WHAT YOU GONNA DO? FIGHT ME?????? (pls don’t, I’ll lose) Take a hint by badreputation (T) 5.4k // UGH I LOVE THIS ONE! One of the first SunaOsa fics I read and one I keep rereading! I absolutely agree with the fact that Osamu is a Neanderthal and I love food as a love language (feeding me would make me swoon over you, however, if you WERE flirting with me, I would not know LMFAO).

minie_ai // again, only two but like I said what you gonna do about it >:( And I'll Feed You Again by minie_ai (G) 7.3k // MYTHOLOGY cause Suna is a cute fox who causes problems LOL. Also, I love the setting it’s in (ik random, but I wanted to put it out there :D). And SPAM NUMBER made me laugh (maybe my humor is a little too broken) but idk I just thought it was really funny akjshflkjasd.

miyarinnnn // PLEASE not everyone clowning them,,,, someone smack off the stupid grin I have on from reading it :)))) Call it passive or aggressive by miyarinnnn (T) 10.4k // OMG this fic was so much fun to read!!!! I loved how there was the Osamu + Omi bonding moment and the BONUS AT THE END AOSFJOIAS,,,,, There’s like a slight smut scene, but other than that, Osamu is the sappiest man ever. Yeah, it was really funny and cute and I had a great time reading it :D

sketchedsmiles // honestly, I have no words because I was like no way this would happen, but then the a/n and yea anyway double vision by sketchedsmiles (T) 18.3k // I do wanna know how this worked irl, but that’s beside the point LOL. This is why communication is key, but I mean ig I can’t really blame Suna LMFAO. The situations are just tailored so well to misunderstandings and every time is a near miss :’))))). But also shout out to beer pong king Osamu LOL.

sieges // parallax if you want some hanahaki, the art of keeping up by sieges (T) 12.3k // I actually did watch this movie (though you don’t need to in order to read this LOL) and I was really surprised cause I didn’t think anyone would’ve made a fic based on it! Honestly, I don’t think I would ever be able to agree to help my crush write a love letter to their crush, so props to Suna (lol maybe I’m just lame like that okay?) :’D

sifuhotman // even if you don’t wanna read it, go look at the photo at the very end, Paint by Numbers by sifuhotman (T) 5.3k // jealous Osamu because Suna stares at Atsumu LOL. BUT the discount combee comment make me cackle because I CAN SEE IT AJFKAFFJSA (esp with the picture provided, it’s been burned onto my brain). I like this fic because it has some cute twin moments and I love their relationship! (BUT THE COMBEE AFIOJOD.)

SilverMoonT // I love his cat, atypical confession by SilverMoonT (G) 15.5k // I’ve said this before, but I’m not a big fan of body switching fics. HOWEVER, I am a big fan of this,,, say what you want idc idc it’s a good fic. I love the Suna Akaashi best friend agenda in this, and I fully support it :D

spiritscript // I almost sent you all to angst town ahahah,,, maybe I should LOL,,,, two drinks by spiritscript (T) 4k // I saw the instagram post and then OF COURSE I had to come read the fic itself! And like the panic ordering is hilarious as well as the misunderstandings LOL. It’s a wild ride with a lotta coffee Suna doesn’t like LOL. BUT THE ENDING IS CUTE and no kiss kiss cause consent is important :)

lunarins // YES I LOVE THIS ONE JKASJD you taste like strawberries on a summer evening by lunarins (T) 4.4k // I LOVE THIS ONE! I adore all the character cameos that happen (POOR SHIRABU) and THE ENDING AJHFKSJA. I love the ending. Also the food explanation by the writer was really cute and creative!!! (and I love how Osamu tells us what love taste like JADSJK!)

unrequitedangst // 3 fics but I love them all, working backwards till it rhymes by unrequitedangst (T) 4.2k // I love this fic, like loveeee. The plot is funny (I love pushing in the right direction to figure things out) and the way they plot against Atsumu is hilarious. Like gotta make sure that this makes him angry, yes.

sunablinks // there’s also only 3 fics so you should read all three :D, Cherry Bomb by sunablinks (T) 5.4k // CHECK TAGS AND WARNINGS cause they drink a lotta alcohol! But this fic is just Osamu being a mess and everyone makes some very bad decisions. Also, poor Meian san having to dead with their poor decision making skills LOL.

Surprisingly enough this didn’t take that long...... Like I think this is the fastest I’ve ever made a list,,,, Anyways, revelations aside, I had a lotta fun making this list cause like I’ve been saying, I’m in love with SunaOsa. They also definitely have some of the MOST tooth rotting fics I’ve ever read before (physical pain because of the fluff), so if you’re into that, you don’t have to look too far :)

Also sorry for not being super active in terms of new content, but this might continue through next week cause I’m getting busier :( Hopefully not though!

[violetwolfraven]

It’s A Romcom Cliche

@gendistic42 here’s something I wrote as a Christmas present for you! I’m a bit swamped right now as far as writing projects but I may expand on this later. For now, enjoy a holiday piece. :)

I’ve never written from Mike’s perspective before, so this should be interesting.

Tw: underage drinking, general teenage chaos, vomit, who knows how to write that kind of party that doesn’t actually exist anywhere but in movies? not me!

Mike was definitely a bit drunk right now, but in his defense, he didn’t actually know the eggnog was spiked until he’d already had a huge cup and Ike told him matter-of-factly that he was going to throw up later.

In hindsight, Mike really should have seen that coming, but honestly he probably would have drank it anyway. It wasn’t like he didn’t usually leap before he looked.

That was what made life fun, after all. Taking risks without thinking. Thinking just lead to doubting yourself and doubting yourself just lead to not doing fun things and not doing fun things meant you were wasting your life. You had to seize the days you got, because otherwise why even live?

That was most of Mike’s friend group’s philosophy. Their little (junior, according to Elmer’s big brother who claimed they were too young to be a real motorcycle gang) motorcycle gang was full of impulsive, slightly-eccentric kids who lived in the moment. Of course, they looked out for each other as much as they could, confirmed excuses and alibis when necessary, but none of them worried much about their own safety.

Hence why they were having a huge party with spiked eggnog in December, meaning there was a likely possibility a lot of them would be staying overnight. Not that it mattered much.

Spot’s dad was at a conference in Boston and wouldn’t be back for at least a few more days. And if he did come back early for some reason, he’d probably just give them a lecture and then not tell anyone’s parents. Denton was cool like that. As long as nobody died, ended up in the hospital, or got anybody pregnant, he favored having the group’s trust over busting them, probably so he could be sure they’d come to him for help if there was a serious problem.

So far, through taking care of each other as best they could while having fun, there hadn’t been a serious problem.

Mike jumped as a tipsy Elmer grabbed his arm.

“Mike, buddy, this song fuckin’ slaps!”

Mike hadn’t noticed what song was on, given that his reaction time was currently a little slow, but he had to admit that Turn Down For What would always be a banger and being drunk just made it better.

He didn’t know how long he was bopping to the beat among his friends before he stopped, realizing that Ike’s prediction was about to come true, and barely made it to the toilet before puking his guts out.

Mike groaned. This was already becoming very un-fun, but throwing up was making him think about the killer hangover he was going to have in the morning. Also about how Ike had probably been drinking, too, so they’d need to stay the night at Spot’s. They could get a ride home, but hiding two drunk twins was significantly harder than just one.

In short, he was thinking ahead, which was reminding him why he didn’t like thinking ahead.

“Whoa, Mike, are you okay?”

Someone was rubbing his back as he retched, and Mike was officially shitfaced, because he could swear when he looked up that was Jojo de la Guerra.

He’d been joking when he invited Jojo. Not because he didn’t want Jojo to come, but because he’d never in a million years thought he’d actually show up.

“Did I pass out?” he groaned, hoping his words weren’t too slurred, “Am I dreamin’? Is that what’s happenin’ right now?”

“No?” Jojo looked confused, “You invited me.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t think you’d actually come.”

“Wait, are you drunk?”

“Yeah, that’d be accurate.”

Jojo now looked extremely nervous, “Ain’t everyone at this party underage?”

“Uh... I thinks one of Albert’s older brothers stopped by, so no. Wait, he left a couple hours ago, so yes.”

Mike was a little surprised when he slipped standing up and Jojo had to catch him. That was, he was a little surprised that Jojo could catch him. The nerd didn’t look like he had that much muscle on him.

Well, Mike was sure he was blushing, it wasn’t just the alcohol making his face flushed, but he wasn’t sure if the pink in Jojo’s cheeks was his imagination or not.

“Uh, do you need a glass of water or somethin’?” he asked nervously, “Why is there alcohol at a party where everybody’s underage, anyway?”

“Cause it’s fun,” Jojo said simply, “Ya think Mush and Blink’d be makin’ out against a wall in front of everybody if they wasn’t absolutely sloshed?”

“Okay, well, do ya need water?”

Mike thought about it, and he was pretty sure it wouldn’t take him so long to decide if he hadn’t drank so much.

“Nope. But I could do with some air.”

None of the others were sober and/or focused enough to notice as they made their way through the party to Spot’s back porch.

The air was icy cold, but Mike was overheated, so it felt good. And the snow was beautiful, reflecting light from the windows of the house. A few small icicles were hanging down from the roof above.

He wasn’t quite drunk enough that he didn’t notice when Jojo leaned against him, just a little, because of the cold. After all, Jojo was beautiful, too. Probably more beautiful than the snow.

But he didn’t say that.

“I love winter,” he said instead, “Ike and I used to play in the snow till we damn near froze to death. Or until one of us got a headshot in a snowball fight.”

“Sounds fun,” Jojo muttered.

“Oh, it was. And we’d stir our hot cocoa with candy canes when we went inside, so’s it’d be all minty.”

Mike smiled at the memory. They never did that anymore, whether it was because they were busy with homework or because they just... forgot, what with TV series to binge and Among Us games to win and friends to meet up with for a big snowball fight.

He liked their life now. He really did. Mike wouldn’t trade his friends for anything. But he had to admit, it had been simpler back when the only people he and Ike had were each other.

“And here you are now,” Jojo noted, “Drunk at a high school party on a back porch with that nerd ya partnered with for a science project once.”

“Well, that nerd happens to be my friend, so I counts that as a win.”

Jojo didn’t respond for a few seconds, and Mike realized.

“Wait, are we friends?”

They were close enough together that he could feel Jojo take a deep breath.

“I thinks so.”

That felt nice. And he could tell now. Jojo’s face was definitely flushed and it had been since before they came outside, so it couldn’t be from the cold. That sent a pretty clear signal, and...

“Mike, stop. What’re ya doin’?”

“I was gonna kiss you,” Mike said. He’d been pretty sure it was obvious.

Had he... been reading Jojo’s signals wrong?

“Mike, you’re drunk. Ya probably ain’t gonna remember this tomorrow. You don’t really care, it’s just that I’m here and no one else is. You don’t mean it.”

“I do mean it. Jojo—“

“You’re a boy in the biker gang all the girls and gays swoon over and you’re goin’ for me, the nobody from science class,” Jojo scoffed, “Sounds likely.”

“Jojo, it don’t matter who my friends are,” Mike tried to insist, “I like you. Like, like like you.”

“Even if I could believe you, there’s no way I’d kiss you while you’re drunk.”

That was worse than straight up rejection. Because Jojo was kind of saying that he did have feelings for Mike and just wouldn’t believe that Mike had feelings for him.

Mike had to focus on not crying for a good few minutes before he started realizing just how fast the snow was coming down.

“Hey, Jojo, how deep do ya think that snow is?”

“Shit.”

That made Mike laugh. He didn’t think he’d ever heard Jojo swear.

“It’s gotta be at least a foot, and still comin’ down. There’s no way anybody can drive home through that. Most of you’s is on motorcycles, and—“

That was when the lights inside went out abruptly, and more than a few people screamed.

Mike got up carefully, trying not to stumble too much, “We should find out what that was.”

They made it inside just in time to hear Spot holler, “A fuckin’ power line went down! And that don’t just mean no light and no WiFi—that means no heat! We ain’t got long before it starts to get real cold here!”

“I found the candles!” Hotshot (Spot’s little brother) yelled.

“Oh, that’ll help a ton,” Jack said sarcastically before Davey ran up.

Naturally, Mike’s mind chose that moment to go off on a tangent of how if Jack Kelly could get a smart boyfriend who was way too good for him, maybe he could too if he could just get Jojo to see that he really liked him, but he still caught what Davey said.

“There’s a foot of snow on the hood of my car. Nobody’s goin’ anywhere, so everybody text your parents before your phones run out of batteries.”

“What if my mom can tell I’m drunk?” Romeo shouted.

“I’m textin’ Mom, dumbass!” Jack shouted back, “For all of us! I’m the soberest person here!”

Race, Romeo, and Crutchie all called their thanks to their big brother.

“I think that’s me, actually,” Davey pointed out, “Soberest ain’t even a word, Jackie.”

Mike cupped his hands over his mouth and yelled into the darkness, “Ike, ya wanna text Mom and Dad, or should—“

“I’ll do it, moron! You’re shitfaced!”

“Shit,” Jojo was muttering as he typed a text, “Shit, shit, shit, I told my dad I’d only stay for an hour. Shit.”

“It ain’t your fault ya got snowed in,” Mike pointed out.

“No, but if my parents find out there was alcohol at this party—“

“Good news, y’all!” Spot hollered from the stairs, the multiple phone flashlights pointed at him the only thing making him visible, “Me and Hotshot’s dad has a big stash of blankets and sleepin’ bags and stuff, so we’s all gonna make a big nest and huddle together in the living room. Hopefully nobody freezes to death. If anybody don’t wanna sleep in what they’s wearin’, come find me!”

With that, he disappeared to go grab blankets.

“My parents are gonna kill me.”

“Don’t let ‘em,” Mike said, “I’d have to avenge you. Then I’d go to hell and I wouldn’t see ya in the afterlife! Plus you’d hate me for killin’ your parents, so—“

“Mike, please stop talkin’.”

“Wanna sleep with me?”

“What?!”

It took Mike a full 10 seconds to realize.

“Not like that!” he exclaimed as soon as he did realize, “Like if we’s all makin’ a nest to keep warm, ya wanna sleep next to me? For not freezin’ to death?”

Jojo was still looking at him pretty weird, and that made Mike sad.

“I’m sorry. Ya don’t have to. That was stupid. I’m stupid. I shouldn’ta said that, but I did cause I’m stupid. I’m sorry for everythin’. Like, everythin’. Everythin’ I’s ever said and—“

“Stop,” Jojo interrupted, “That’s... this is just gettin’ sad. Mike, it’s fine. Just... I guess I can’t expect ya to say things in a less weird way—you’re drunk.”

He didn’t seem especially annoyed or even uncomfortable. Just... blushing. Definitely blushing.

Mike could barely see him in the dark, but he still was pretty sure Jojo de la Guerra was the prettiest thing he’d ever seen.

“Uh, yeah, I’ll sleep with you. Next to you. Ugh. Just don’t barf on me.”

“Okay,” Mike mumbled. God, now that it was dark, he was already yawning. He didn’t remember where he’d left his hoodie. He should probably ask Ike about that.

It was already getting cold in the house, and the candles Hotshot was lighting definitely weren’t helping that much.

Mike didn’t mind how Jojo was sticking close to him even if it was probably just for warmth.

[sporadic-writer]

Welcome to the Neighborhood pt. 2

Note: ok so I know that not all of the boys, meaning both twins, live with the others. And I know my update schedule sucks but I go in a block and funk. Sorry guys. I just want you to read something I would read and truly enjoy. Also, I think I may make this a Haz fic bc ones about hin deserves more love and notes.

No one really reads these but I also think I'll write this for Harrison bc when Tom posted the pic of Nadia, it shattered the illusion in my head lol and it feels weird to a certain extent to write when he is most likely dating her. Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy for him and he doesn't know I exist, but it feels odd idk. So im pausing on Tom stuff atm lol. Harrison is single as far as publicly that ik so thats that 😅

Pairing: Harrison x Reader (most likely)

Warnings: mentions of weed, alcohol, and swearing. I enjoy all these things responsibly and ik im not the only one. As always stop reading if you dont like something.

Part 1 here initial teaser here (got around 100 notes soo 😎 check that out)

°•○•°○°•○•°○°•○•°

“Alrighty boys. That’s enough about me, tell me about yourselves. I only know this one from the big screen and that 2 of you are brothers.” You gestured to Tom as you spoke about him. “And from basic eavesdropping I gather you are all very close.” 

Tom smiled, “Actually I’m a brother to the twins, older obviously.” It was fun having a celeb lounging in your hot tub, drinking a beer with you. “But yeah I am an actor, Spider-Man as you probably know. Harrison’s an actor too!”

“Oh my god you are! I watched Catch-22 on Hulu! Comedy my ass..! I balled my eyes out several times.” He had the nerve to laugh in response. “Don’t laugh! That shit got intense quick. Then the shot where you all are swimming? Killed me. I don't know how I didn't notice you. Sorry!”

“Did you at least like it?” He smiled and asked hopefully. When you nodded yes he beamed! “Well then that’s all that matters. I will say an American accent is hard.”

You brought your beer up to your lips. “Yeah because your guys’ accent is so easy. You make fun of how different areas in America have different accents but it’s the same here!” They nodded in agreement at your words. You leaned your head back a tad and enjoyed the warm water. “Southern accents have different twangs bepending on the area, I have family that lives closer to New England, that's something all in its own. Just like here. You got London, Wales, some place called Essex and other places more north of here. It's not just the US." You reached over for your joint to finish it amongst the bubbles. "Now for real. Tell me about yourselves. Harrison you start I guess."

"Why me?"

"Shorter wikipedia page." You smirk as you re-lit your herb. The guys laughed and made 'ooh' noises to tease. "I'm kidding! Relax a touch. I just picked your name because you are right in front of me."

"Well I've known this lot since we were all kids. Tom and I went to school together and we have been stuck with each other since. I was his personal assistant for a while too." You listened as he spoke. Sweat was building up on his face from the hot tub. It added a nice shine to his, and everyone's faces. In order to avoid makeup running everywhere you sat up as you listened to him. You watched his eyes watch your movements as you took a hit and slowly exhaled. Almost like he was relaxing from watching someone relax from getting high without actually doing so. He kept going and you realized you zoned out a tad. "And then I wanted to do more than just model so I did more auditions and Catch-22 became my biggest so far."

You nodded, noting you heard and were listening. "That's cool and all but tell me like favorite song, movie, animal! Hahaha it isn't everyday famous people are in my hot tub. I'm going to savor this first encounter!" He smiled and answered your sort of questions. You offered the joint around before it finished. Tom passed, Tuwaine and Harrison took quick hits though. "But yeah that is me. Now someone else go so I don't have the spot light on me anymore." He looked at you as he said that and handed you the last bit. You winked in thanks, and to flirt lightly. (Shoot your shot right?) "Same questions to you love."

You responded your favorite song, movie, and color to him. "Yeah I like a bit of everything. But funny movies are my favorite. Obviously I like Marvel too Tom don't worry. Same goes for music but my preference ranges from new pop to older rock. I grew up on 80s alternative pop stuff." You smiled at him and he beamed in pride at the brand he represented. "Ok Sam you now."

Sam starts talking about his life and Harrison goes to grab more drinks. At this point the sun as almost finished setting and you tell the blonde how to turn the deck lights on. Soon the rows of edison bulbs flick on and a lovely mood is set. The glow isn't too bright and adds a nice light to your summer tanned skin. What you don't know is that the gentlemen appreciated the glow as well. However, they are too polite to say anything too bold after just meeting you.

If you could read minds or be sober enough to detect a certain lack of subtlety you would pick up on how the single men checked you out as you got out of the tub to get rid of the roach. Polite of course, 20 something men are going to appreciate a beautiful American girl right in front of them.

And if they could read your mind they would hear how you were taking in Tom and Harrison's jaw lines and toned muscles. How you appreciated Tuwaine's smile and height. Then add the twin's curls and freckles to the list and they'd think you were picking them like boys from a catalogue. Despite the slight oggling on your part, your eyes always wandered back to the blonde hair blue eyed boy the most. He seemed a little more laid back then Tom. Probably just because one was working more than the other, but that was just initial vibes you got. Regardless of vain appearance choices and vibe preference, all these boys were wonderful and you were just lucky enough your uncle's hot tub fit them all nicely.

Tuwaine smiled cheekily and spoke up. "Alright, we all have fresh drinks and proper buzzes. Let's make it fun and play a game. So Y/N, you went to college in the states, give us a classic drinking game and show us what you got."

"Ha! I don't know what you're looking for but I assume never have I ever is universal? You can't play kings or flip cup in a hit tub. Hold up 5 fingers, put them down if you've done said thing, drink as well."

"No fingers, just play till we are right pissed." Harry grinned and everyone else went along with it. "I will start. Never have I ever- wait this a normal game or sexy version?"

You said you didn't care and Tom said what the hell, so he continued. "Never have I ever gotten walked in on during a scandelous activity." Tom and Harrison both drank and groaned saying they have both walked in on each other at some point in life. Tuwaine continued.

"Never have I ever fooled around while someone else is in the room." There was a pause and no one drank. But then you rose your beer to your lips and they all looked at you in a manner of surprise and demand for explination.

Shrugging you said, "Old drunken hookup in school. We didn't know his roommate was in his top bunk asleep until it was too late. The mistake we made was keeping on going when we thought we heard him, because we did..."

"Wow Y/N. Learning a lot about the neighbor girl right away!"

"Shut up this game was your idea!" You laughed as you spoke in response to his teasing. "But whatever it's my turn now anyway. Never have I ever sent a dirty text to the wrong person." That got all but Harrison and you felt proud for getting them. "Alright so you are either morons or were in a rush to send that sext."

Tom defended himself saying her name was Sam and it was instant regret the second he realized.

Sam glared at him and said, "Yeah no one enjoyed that bro. I'm still shaken up about it."

"Get over yourself it was like 5 years ago! And you accidentally sent your friend Jake one, so pot, kettle, hi both black."

"It was detailed!"

You just sat there amused taking this all in. "I am so glad this happened tonight." You said more to yourself than them.

"Darling if this ends up in the tabloids we will never speak again." They were teasing with the threat. "But come on this is good let's keep going. Never have I ever done it in a car." You, Sam, and Tuwaine all drank and giggled.

The game continued on and another round of drinks were had. You learned Tuwaine had said the wrong name in bed. Also, that both Harry and Harrison have fooled around during family functions. In return they learned that you've hooked up in a college classroom and in a restaurant bathroom. That ended up getting you and your former boyfriend kicked out of the establishment. Towards the final round all were getting sleepier but still in a good mood.

"Never have I ever had sex high." Harrison challenged the group. No one drank. "Wait really? Thought I'd get you with that. Finish your beer and all." He looked at you as he spoke.

"Nope. Just never happened now that I've thought about it. Huh. You'd think right? But nope. Not that I'm opposed." You ended your statement by glancing his way while finishing your beer anyway. Harrison just watched the way your neck moved as you tilted your head back. "Ok boys this was fun but I am gettin tired."

Tom nodded. "Same here. Thank you for having us darling, it was fun!" The others spoke in agreement and you smiled at them saying they were welcomed back anytime. They offered to help clean but you grabbed the remaining bottles and told them you were good. After final goodbyes, you told them to not he strangers, you were all in your respective homes.

You went to bed pretty quick. Next door, at their place Tom, Harrison, and Sam lingered to get some water before bed. "She was really cool." Sam said while sipping water.

Harrison hummed in agreement. "Yeah I think so too. Very chill and all that."

Sam smirked and playfully said, "You just think she's fit mate." There was a pause.

"Well she is." It was Tom who said that and the others looked at him in playful shock. "What I'm not blind! She is! She's isn't some shy girl freaking out over us. She's cheeky and just seems normal about us living next to her. More Harrison's type though I'd say."

Sam laughed. "Yeah he always liked the classic American 'girl next door' type. Just a bonus she is actually American this time." They paused for Harrison to negate their statements but he just sipped his water and looked at them with a glint in his eyes. "Told you." Sam said as he took a sip. "She is better than half the models either of you bring back. Nuerons fire and she can keep a conversation. Not that all models are like that! But come on you went out with some stereotypes." Neither could disagree. Sometimes you just want to have a date with the beautiful face. Long term needs substance though, and both Tom and Harrison thought you had it all.

"We need to invite her over tomorrow, and any time she's free." Groundwork was to be established and Harrison was determined to get to know you more.

°•○•°○°•○•°○°•○•°

As always, like and reblog! I hope you like it! Also if i forget to tag someone lmk, same if you wanna be tagged or not tagged. Feedback and notes are appreciated but be nice haha I edit as best I can. Thanks for reading and enjoying.

Tags: @jillanaholland @averyfosterthoughts @sarah-m-limelight-2007 @astridcommings

[franeridart]

Do you care for any of the dekusquad?

I care for most if not all hero-related characters in bnha! But if with care you mean if any dekusquad member is between my favorite characters/if I care enough about any of them to draw them more than once every blue moon, then my Todoroki tag might tip you off, there lol

Anon said:Will you ever draw Bakukamikiri again? I rlly loved how you did them!!

Thank you!!! And I think I will, though I don’t have any project to do so in the near future, sorry!

Anon said:Soo KyouHaba day (6/16) is coming up and was wondering if you could do some seijoh next gen stuff. Yahaba is often forgot about a and Kyoutani isn’t really included in a lot of Aoba Johsai stuff. Feel free to not do anything just suggesting something

Aw sorry anon but I don’t have the time to do day-themed stuff right now! KyoHaba is currently the hq ship I’m most likely to draw for, though, since they’re the only ones I’m still reading fics for! So I don’t think any will come around 6/16, but I don’t exclude I might draw them anyway in the near future! :D

Anon said:Omg your taking part in a zine!! I’m so excited! And it’s a BakuSquad one too! Ik I’m definitely going to be buying it when pre-orders open up!

I’m taking part in TWO zines, actually!! Both the @takemyhandzine and the @sixthwheelzine !!!!! I’ll be making comics for both, and if you do decide to buy either I really hope you’ll like them!!!!

Anon said:whats a zine?

In general, a zine is an amatorially published magazine! Specifically tho here we’re talking about fanzines, so magazines put together and published by fans for other fans! The ones I’m taking part in are both about kiribaku, and will include both fanart (fancomics included) and fanfics! Depending on how much you wish to spend on it, you can also buy a bundle with fanmade merch too, and the Sixth Wheel zine is gonna have a pdf version too, in case you’d prefer to buy it like that! They’re super cool projects I’m insanely happy I got invited to take part in!!!!

Anon said:Your art style is so pretty and I love to see your amazing bnha drawing on my dash

There is literally no way I could ever stop being into d gray man ever and I’m also still following hq’s manga, yes! I dunno if and when I’ll draw for either fandom next, tho, sorry! ;^;

Anon said:Everytime you draw kiribaku I gain 1 life,,,,, tysm I love ur art SM ur such an inspiration,,,💖💖💖

Oh my g o d s thank you so much ;^;

Anon said:Your Kiridragon is the cutest, I love him and want Katsuki to protect him forever. Thank you for sharing that last story with us!!! (Ps. Can we expect more Kiridragon adventures in the future? *puppy eyes*)

Thank you for liking him!!!!!! And if you’re talking about the fantasy AU in general, I’ll 100% for sure draw more for it! If you’re talking about them as kids tho I can’t say for sure - I definitely want to, tho, right now!! ;^;

Anon said:As a suggestion, could you maybe do Kiri*Deku, whether it be romantic, platonic, or misinterpreted by Bakugou and he takes Kirishima because that’s his sunshine boy thank you very much, get your own

Aw anon sorry but krdk is…………. really not my thing, so I don’t take suggestions for it ;-; I might end up doodling them in the future anyway since I have in the past, but that’s only gonna be if I find an idea I really really really wanna draw, I’m sorry

Anon said:Just wanted to say that I love your art and I just went through a majority of your blog. But I noticed you used to draw erasermic but haven’t recently and I was wondering if you still ship it??? It’s okay if you don’t or if you just haven’t gotten the inspiration recently, I’m just curious. Anyways, keep doing what you do and being amazing

Thank youuuu!!!!! And I’ve actually always drawn erasermic super sporadically! They’re one of my main ships in the fandom honestly, but since they’re sorta hard to draw for me I rarely end up drawing them? I do still love them with all my heart tho! You can expect to see more of them in the future, for sure ;u;

Anon said:I came for my kiribaku fix (it HAD to be him I’m dying all over again) but. God ur art always blows me tf away ur so good and skilled and ur improvement in like… everything inspires me SO much so bless u and I hope u have a WONDERFUL day

I’m so glad I can inspire anyone, oh my g o o o o o o d ;O; thank you so so much!!!!

Anon said:Wow your dragon kiribaku art is so cute! Will there be a sequel!

Not for the immediately after, for now! Since Horikoshi is yet to give me the official design for Kiri’s mom //sob - but as I said up there I do want to draw more with them as kids in the fantasy AU, so maybe, yeah!!!

Anon said:I absolutely love EVERY SINGLE facial expression that Bakugou makes in your Fantasy Babies comic strip. He’s such an unapologetic little shit.

THANK YOU!!!!! I was mostly trying to convey the fact that he’s too young to think about the consequences of his actions before doing stuff like calling the rage of a dragon mom upon his city l m a o glad you liked him!!! :D

Anon said:The way you draw the baby bois has me weak 💖💕❤️💗💞💓💝 That baby dragon Kiri 💯💯💯💖💖💖😊😊😊

Thank you so muuuuuucccchhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:EYYYYY! Love your art, the newest comic made me laugh so hard that I almost chocked to death :D (Jk, I just couldn’t breathe normally) God bless youuuuuuuuuu

I’m SUPER HAPPY it made you laugh!!!!!! heck!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;^;

Anon said:You content makes my heart go doki doki doki doki doki

THANK!!!! YOU!!!!! SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:the way you draw wings is so cool, i love it. your art is just amazing in ggeneral to be honest, like akjdjkhdlkdl

AAAAHHHHHHHH I’M HAPPY YOU LIKE THEM I have so much fun drawing them, honestly!!!

Anon said:I love the fact that mina and kiri are cannonically childhood friends (middle school counts as childhood right??) Like I love their friendship so much and they both deserve the world.

Real, they’re adorable and I wish Horikoshi would actually have them interact a bit more in the manga, since as for now their scenes together are pretty much non-existent aside from their backstory ;^;

Anon said:THEY ANIMATED IT!!! THE HAND GRAB!!! IT’S IN MOVING COLOUR!!!

HELL YES I DIED IT’S BEEN NEARLY A WEEK AND I’M STILL DYING WHAT A BEAUTIFUL TIME TO BE ALIVE

Anon said:You with your beautiful beautiful art and Chonideno with her beautiful beautiful writing about Kiri and Bakugou makes my heart so happy and warm and just… Thank you for existing and love Kiribaku! I don’t know, your art makes me so happy

Ohhhhhhhhhhh boy what an honor to be put at the same level as mag ;^; I love her and her writing so much, honestly !!!!!! thank you so so much for the compliment, anon!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Kirishima braiding his hair while he talks is both adorable and relatable. Thank you for that.

I’m!!!! mostly happy you caught it hahahaha thank you !!!!!!

Anon said:Hey. You seem insecure but your art is great. What kind of color scheme do you see for Hawks?

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I honestly don’t like thinking about stuff I think Hori will give me in canon soon enough? But out of instincts I mostly imagined him in shades of brown, I think - typical birds of prey and/or aviator colors, you know!

Anon said:I love ur drawings but i also love reading ur tag. They re so funny sometimes

lmao that’s good too!! As long as I can make people enjoy a couple of moments of their time I don’t really mind how I do it hahaha

Anon said:your art is beautiful anfndfnd

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Hello fran, just wanted to say i’ve been here for a long long time (since the h/q times :‘o) and today i was thinking about some of your old art and if you remember, you had a soulmates au for b/n/h/a that was super good and i really loved so i wanted to tell you!! You as an artist have such an impact on me and that au is my fave of yours!! ;0; have the nicest day ever!! -soulmates anon (4 future ref!!!)

OH MAN I’m so happy to hear you still remember that one?? It was such a fun experiment to play around with, I’m glad you liked it this much!!!! Thank you for telling me omg !!!!! ;^;

Anon said:Hi, so where did you go to watch Haikyuu (I’m assuming probably Crunchyroll but ya never know) and where might I find the dubbed version?

Aw anon sorry I don’t watch the dubbed version! Since I’m Italian, I don’t really have much use for the English dubs haha I’m pretty sure you can find it on kissanime, tho!

Anon said:could you briefly go through the process of making and completing one of your comics? I wanted to start some short bnha comics but idk where to start, thank you!

Sorry this took me an age to answer - I have answered this question a while back, I think it might be in my art tips tag! But to go through it fast, my process is something like

find a line or an exchange I want to deliver, or a topic I want discussed (usually happens randomly as I’m doing other things)

spend a million years just staring at a wall or at my ceiling or anything else as I build a whole scene in my mind to have the lines or topic take the form of an actual comic (might take two minutes, might take a month)

draw a rough sketch of the whole comic - I do this with all panels (and pages, when I separate a comic in pages) on the same canvas, so that I can look at the whole scene all together and get a good sense of the general flow of the storytelling. This process includes cutting panels, moving panels around, reshaping panels, trying different poses and angles for the same panels to find the right one, writing and deleting and re-writing lines till I’m sure the wording is what I’m going for*

line the panels - I mean the actual panels, the straight lines delimitating the panel, I line them all first and put them on a separate layer

line the people!! All the characters in every panel are lined in this stage

line the backgrounds! In case there are backgrounds and the comic is meant to stay in black and white, if not then color the backgrounds! (I always start coloring from the backgrounds cause they’re the boring parts and if I leave them for last I never do them ever #rip)

in case of black and white comics, we fill in flat, gray-scale colors at this point (or, as I’ve lately started doing, I only put down shadows and leave it at that). If it’s in colors, we color the people!

Write down the dialogue!! *at this point we change a lot of the dialogue again because enough time has passed since I sketched it that I changed my mind on everything, don’t be like me

you’re done!

All of it is done on one single canvas, unless it’s a comic with separate paneled pages in which case they’re all done on their own canvas but still drawn all together. That’s about it, hope it was at least a little bit useful!

Anon said:Hi! I just wanted to thank you for your art, especially your KiriBaku. I was exactly in the same situation than Bakugou in the post tagged “bakugou being blunt about his feelings” (except we are 2 girls) , so I used it to confess to her. She said yes! X3

OH MY GOD I’m so super happy to hear that!!!!! Congrats on your gf, anon!!!!!! *throws hearts at u*

[bibbleboo]

Could we get some headcanons/more background on Abbey and Doyle’s kids? 🥺👉👈 I love the premise of this AU

YEEEEE (im just gonna ramble a bunch about the backstory i have so far but ill put it in bullets so its easier to follow lol i apologize for it being long as fuck-)

OKAY SO,,, first of all,,, doyle and abbey timeline,,,, [i am looking respectfully]

in this au, they get back together and have a sort of ‘lovers pretending to be enemies’ chaotic on again/off again hookup thing off to the side just between the two of them thru like Most of the final season, they try to keep it a secret (especially doyle who doubts the saturdays would be hAPPY if he was seeing her again) but in the end, saturdays ofc find out, probably are unsure about it at first, but she gains enough of their trust to be there for the big finale battle in the weird world mansion.

when shit goes down and argost becomes the vessel for the two opposing kurs (regular kur, and the anti kur from zak monday) and they like. explode his matter or w/e, i imagine instead of kur just completely disappearing, the ‘anti kur’ gets shot back to its universe, while original kur gets forced into a new vessel in this universe... the closest of which happens to be the unborn child abbeys unknowingly carrying. basically, what if the two kurs just LOOKED like they evaporated but actually did what happens when you try to like tape two same sides of a magnets together and they YEETED-

So thats how we have Parker, their firstborn daughter! and this... also implies ‘Parker Monday’ exists which. 8^) i havent thought about yet so forgive me on that but hoo, 

they dont know parker is kur, they got no idea and rly just assume kur is gone for good. but after they find out abbeys pregnant (which is a huge emotional trip for both of them in its own right) they do eventually sort of agree they dont want their kid exposed to that whole world of mystery. like, ik its a vital thing to the whole family, and ik these two people were probably voted least likely to ‘settle down’ in high school, but i cant imagine they didnt escape the kur/zak situation without a LOT of trauma, so while the saturdays stay in the cryptozoology field, doyle and abbey slowly pull away from the mystery and mercenary stuff, and also instead of going for big dollar lifestyle settle with ‘independently wealthy’ parenting.

also, neither of them really . grasp the concept that theyve even started a family, and are ‘together’, and that this is REAL, until around when she gets pregnant with their second daughter, Kendall. and then theyre like. oh nooo wait are we actually like boyfriend and girlfriend EWW-

when kendall is born parker is 3, and the next like 10+ years are pretty smooth sailing. as far as what the kids know/see, they probably know the cryptids when theyre little but. (tw animal death sORRY TO BE DARK I JUST??????) idk,, how long komodo dragons live/how old komodo already is and i definitely dont know Anything about giant prehistoric birds and am not even sure if science knows that lifespan, so. im not sure how long they could really be in each others lives??? i almost imagine parker would have memories of them that she assumes she remembers wrong, like “oh yeah they used to have a lizard and a bird... my imaginative little kid brain thought they were a komodo dragon and a dinosaur”, and as for fisk im still working on it but i . actually kind of imagine he might have a much longer lifespan (since lemurians are like ancient or w/e? and also if hes by dna like a gorilla cat or w/e gorillas at least live long af) and also feel like once he got older and settled down a bit he might live somewhere in the woods, maybe even his old tree? and the saturdays see him ALL the time obviously, but hey zaks gotta go to college eventually, a gorilla cats gotta eat bugs in forest, we all have to grow up and leave the nest sometime,

so idk the last time parker has actually seen fisk and she might assume he was an imaginary friend or smth but, 1. if i do write a fic they absolutely have to meet again, 2. overall the vibe is they know the saturdays are cryptozoologists, like, the same way josh gates does destination truth, seeking answers and studying, they dont really. know that theyre REAL. to them its like, a hypothetical science. (this is also part of why they dont realize parker is kur, she isnt around cryptids and therefore whenever her powers would actually show up they wouldnt be recognized) anyways parker isnt embarrassed or put off by it but just thinks its a little wacky, meanwhile kendall is obsessed with the world of mystery/paranormal/cryptic lol

speaking of the girls personalities;;;

parker is like. not really normie/preppy, even if she seems it at first glance, shes nice and has a good head on her shoulders but also is a teenage girl (inherently unhinged) and shes THEIR teenage girl (+5 feral) so despite her success and charm shes also very witty/crass when she wants to be, and deep down shes closer to the kind of person that would on pure inexplicable instinct put something random in your mouth when you’re yawning so you bite down on it afterwards. or like. that video of the girl singing in the bathroom while her friends curl their hair and she grabs the curler to use as a microphone before realizing its burning hot??? shes. the voice of reason, but the voice is usually shrieking in fear, making a cursed joke, or half the time whatever shes saying is actually smart. she kinda wants to go to college and travel, but struggles with indecisiveness and anxiety, so she has no idea where to go, what to major in, etc. and is again kinda just livin thru the typical teen life in that regard

kendall on the other hand is like. weird kid culture, the kind of kid that believes they are secretly a new supernatural creature each year (mermaid phase, werewolf phase, alien phase, etc), probably completely accidentally starts cults or witch covens at school (didnt realize teaching peers how to become ‘blood brothers’ and ‘make potions’ from puddles and stolen school supplies would be taken so seriously by parents) , very into emo/scene/punk/alt culture but not rly in an overtly dark/edgy way, more of a having fun and expressing self way. she wants answers for everything, really loves mysteries and being open minded, and definitely a rebel/adventurer at heart, even if she gets naive or in over her head sometimes.

the girls get along well! parker is not dismissive of kendall she just. isnt really into the same stuff/is more freaked out by it most of the time, but she would tag along on certain adventures, especially if it was to keep her safe. and kendall definitely directs gentle mockery towards parker a lot but does see her as a good role model and guiding figure, their bond is really strong!

other details !

doyle and abbey prob decide to say fuck it and get married after kendall is born, they probably have a few rough patches but nothing is more important to them than the kids now and in the end they understand each other better than anyone else so . canon tension idk her! family ftw! power couple! they intimidate the teacher during parent teacher conferences together hand in shady little hand !

their parenting style is exactly what one would imagine, 70% fun and sass and controlled chaos where theyre the bigger children than their children, 15% ‘this is how you hack the government and dual wield swords-- i was not supposed to teach you that im sorry’, and 15% actual guidance / emotional depth / etc. flaws might be overcoming their own immaturity for the first few years, and then being lowkey overly protective (while claiming they arent, but just bc you semi jokingly tell parker she should join the football team doesnt mean you dont actually hide 60% of ur life from her and check that her bedroom windows are locked every night and have 24 people listed in her school emergency contacts and used to cut up her food till she was 7 and-)

so abouT THE BABY BOY (Phoenix), 1. his middle name is leonidas bc im gay and i love emotional turmoil babes , 2. fully unironically the idea behind such a late pregnancy is abbey would be mid fourties when hes born right. so like. [has two kids] ‘ok birth control time’ [when theyre teens many years later] ‘ok im old enough to stop taking this’ [the hyperfertility curse that plagues many women rears its ugly head with one last hoo-rah]

and finALLY a very quick elevator pitch of what id write an actual fic to focus on;;; kendall sneaks into the attic to look for old shit bc they BOTH know their parents have been hiding stuff over the years, she finds things like a cryptopedia (now offline), the claw, maybe even a piece of the kur stone, and ropes parker into the long haul of figuring out what all this stuff is. and ofc the second they ever find the naga relic and parker comes face to face with it, [rest in rip] time for mom and dad to find out and all this kur shit to start ALL over again-

[fatass-verified]

I could've skipped dinner today and had an orange instead but I felt like I needed to have some kind of bread in front of my grandma so I ate a small sandwich of french bread with zaatar and some tomato, last day I eat white bread, my mom buys some kind of brown toast that is 123 cal per 3 slices which is like how the fuck lol, so I'll eat that for dinner from now on and when there is no more I'll have only fruit until she buys more and gives me, idk I feel like I'm restricting very good but I'm not expecting much, was talking to my friend and he was mad at me I have been barely answering his messages and he was like really sad over it I did tell him I've been sleeping all day but I felt like he didn't believe me and I felt bad so I told him I started a "diet" again which is why I've been sleeping so much but idk if I should have done that... I don't usually tell people I'm trying to lose weight cuz it never goes good soooo yeah I might have fucked up? Also if I end up not losing much weight it's gonna be embarrassing lol, well we haven't met in person actually we met through mutual friends during lockdown and he was gonna come over with other friends for my birthday but I was worried I had covid and told them not to come so not like he's gonna know whether I've lost weight or not lol, the only places he's seen me is my face in video chat and my pictures on social media which are all from the times I hit my lw and very old pictures so he doesn't know what I look like, that just makes me wanna be skinnier than the photos he's seen when I see him... yeaaah lol the last picture I posted was from my birthday last year when I hit a new lw on my birthday so I'm gonna have to go under 55 if I wanna be "skinnier than the photo" which might take a long time... yeaaah idk, kinda wanna keep going on the scale till I'm under 60 then start weighing myself once a week so not only will I have to behave around food all week so I don't fuck up the progress before I see it on the scale but also it'll be a surprise every week, if I lose more than a kg in a week it'll make me happy and if I don't it'll make me mad lol so idk I'm still not sure if I can pull that off, I do get mad when I don't drop after a good restriction day so that's mainly why I want to start weighing every week instead of every day... idk I'm just rambling at this point we'll see, it's a long road till the 50s anyway so I have time to think about it lol. But like seriously I'm literally dreading weighing myself tomorrow cuz I've had two consecutive great restriction days but ik I'm not gonna be at the weight I wanna be tomorrow cuz weightloss doesn't happen overnight and I can't lose half a kilogram from this morning till the next especially that I haven't moved around much and I haven't exercised and I lost my pedometer so idk how many steps I made but ik I've been sitting down all day... Logically I can't drop 500 g till tomorrow, but when I weigh myself tomorrow and I haven't lost those 500 I'm gonna get mad cuz I'm a stupid impatient fatass and I wanna drop the weight already, talking about dropping the weight I really really wanna eat... like I'm soooo hungry, and it's not even 10:30 PM so it's gonna be a loooong night... maybe I'll allow myself one more loquat today if I really need to but I'll try my best not to, I'm gonna study a bit cuz I still haven't studied then sleep early today, I don't trust myself when I'm hungry, maybe when I'm done studying I'll write up a motivation letter for myself I love doing those lol ik it's stupid but I love writing even tho I'm a shitty writer but I tend to write scenarios that could happen later to motivate myself to do what I need to do and it's more fun than motivational but like if I write that after I'm done studying first off I'll stay up later so maybe I'll be able to sleep in tomorrow and delay my lunch, and also I won't be tempted to eat cuz to reach what I'm writing I can't eat, yeah I'll do that, I used to write it on paper when sitting in a boring class at school but maybe this time I'll write it on here and post

it privately, putting up a table to write imagines is too much work for me at this hour of the day lol, well I'll go study for a bit and get writing

[brothalynchhung]

2019 overview.

this year.. was fucking two years in one. also a little late again but whatever. this is going to be long as FUCK. 

started 2019 in dubai

spent the first couple of days in Dubai on the beach

YOOO AS AM WRITING THAT IT FEELS SO FUCKING LONG AGO HOLLYY SHITT

went to London and just fucked around dt and chinatown lost that damn snake ring fml

I got drunk eating dumplings watching Jeffrey star in that bed LMFAOOOYOO LMFAOOOOOEGJEORIGHSREUG

got back to Ottawa and it was straight GRIND from the get go

back to my last semester of uni 

back to club m (omg.. I miss:( kinda lol)

started that govt job

back to social media marketing for Dubai

3 jobs + school basically

did that dumbass STUPID FUCKING govt job all the way in quebec that I woke up for and travelled for everyday 

would go straight to gym, work again, or school fml

wasn't entirely bad I kinda needed it cuz I applied to a million jobs during that time and did school work LMAO also printed a lot of important shit and got paid so whatever

CAME TO TORONTO IN MARCH W TRAND OMG I FORGOT THAT WAS 2019

SAW VINCE STAPLES!!

AND The fortune teller who like prophisized all this shit goddddd 

iconic if I must say

little did I know...

I miss movati fml lol

working at club Monaco omg ugh they gave me life honestly

fun times w trang cc precious Courtney mich JACK Amanda Raman donia even tho she annoying lol and whoever else I worked w jana jil Daria honestly I just miss Courtney LMFAO uhh jenn was cool too 

I'm never going to forget that place I swear to god I have so much loyalty and pride for my memories for that place im never going to take my experience there for

chilling with avid Vinny and like Alex a bit LMAO he would randomly ask to chill it was weird

that Chinese dinner and chat time thing in his car WHAT WAS THATTT

chilling like a scrub a cu with hector and that crew goddLMAO

avin vin rideau gang

visiting avid at nordstorm the Rui girl and Herman lol he was sofunny

MY BODY IS FOR ME NOT THESE BITCHES LMFAOO 

last class with strangle omg he was iconic honestly 

trang pargol fidede zainab mannnn honestly shoutout old Ottawa friends 

xinyii!! and jelly!! my last times with them

I miss Xinyi so much :( im so happy I got to see her before leaving she was so nice I wish her so much success 

remember working those last shifts at cm like.. yo I feel like things are going to change and my days are numbered.. I feel it. 

did interview after interview, applying EVERYDAY to escape 

the amount of focusing I did on applying around feb and April like I was just focused on working and getting out of there

did two interviews in like 2 hours always on the go always moving always working 

and then like clockwork.. at the govt job.. went to the bathroom knew? to bring my phone with me.. and then right when I left I got a call from mk went into that empty conference room and got the offer. cried. accepted. life changing

I honestly just left that place... went to cm and just.. resigned... put my two weeks in...

and it happened literally in my last week of the govt job..

like fate 

immediately went home told cc precious fam 

fam weren't happy 

BUT I FINALLY ESCAPED!!!! LOOKING BACK ON THIS BLOG AND EVERYTHING I FINALLY F I N A L L Y GOT OUT OF THERE THE BITCH ASS CURSED SHIT CITY NEVER GOING BACKEGIUEHGEIRUGH 

shout out precious for helping me honestly he helped so much 

found my place through hmida who held it down

that whole condo scenario LOL godddd my landlord a HOE

met zgy gvy at precious while I crashed a night

THE MILLIONS OF RIDESHARESSS GOODDDDDD

remember the one I took last minute from Yorkdale LMAO that one wasn't bad honestly I slept good

moving my things packaging them up. like yo.. lol

bringing the boxes from shoppers godddd LOL 

finally landed in Toronto with my place

waiting outside for 5 hours for my damn keys crazy with my suitcase lol... 

THEN FINALLY GOT TO MY FIRST PLACE!! MY FIRST RENTAL CONDO ALL ON MY OWN NO ROOMATES JUST ME

unpacking my things

like just finally having my own place mannn that was my dream for such a long ass time

getting around dt a bit getting used to tdot... 

crazy exciting 

then... 3 days in..

...

met that bitch that fucked me up 

met everything I ever wanted in a person? physically and interest wise and yet?

nothing? 

SO CONFUSED I MET SOMEONE WITH EVERYTHING I THOUGHT I WANTED

first hookup? lost v? 

new city new job new life new home lost v new everything

in 3 days. 

my life crazy..

spent the whole time like until October till low-key NOW just thinking about it bitterly 

my feelings up and down I was drowning in obsession and confusion

I know I fucked it up but it was fucked up since the beginning

shook everything about what I thought I wanted in gl or a person

standards are definitely raised and all men trash and hoes Idgaf

I feel nothing towards nobody

my whole mind switched to money and power. 

gl I love you but you're not here and we got a lot growing to do so imma see ya ass in a couple of years 

anyways started working at mk!!! craziest 3 month probation thing I had 

HOWWW DID I DOOOO ITTTTTTT 

met so much people... holy shit.. zgy,gvy,hailey,gab,aisha,priya,rach,lisa,alex,DANIA, goddddd

clubbing.. mon., thurs... weekenddd... wake up... 8:30 work

how did I do it.... fuck lol

met a lot of hoes.. fucked with Sunday once more before he died bye bitch ass hoe.. Leo, sleeve, uhhh that's it I think actually

CABANNNAAAA

OMG I SAW SEAN PAUL LIVE ICONICC YOO THIS FUCKING YEAR LMFAOOOOO

omg YEAH I SAW NCT IN MY FIRST WEEK OF TO WITH PARGOL LMFAOOO YOOOOO

damn this year was crazy I keep forgetting shit

all the weird ass ppl I met at cabana omg the humber guy YOO THE ASIAN GUY WITH MY KEYS LMFAOOO ZGY FUCKLMFGIESH

omg tsf lmao and like yeah all the clubbing ppl in to fuck 

half and half like didnnt know if I liked it or not but it was crazy

still think about that Frans night the damn milkshake and food omggg

just spent summer exploring to trinity Bellwoods ossington like summer stories clubbing stories

managing my double life lol

SPIDERMAN OBSESSION LMAOOOO TO DISTRACT MY MIND FROM THAT BITCH ASS HOE LMFAOOFREJGIEURHSTESUIH THEN I FOUND OUT HE HAS A WHOLE WIFE AND BABY YOOO LMFAOOO

good distraction made work fun when I needed it during my last months of probation LMAO

omg going home during lunch and then back to work ICONIC

leaving the girls at my place and coming back for lunch LMAOOO god really iconic honestly showering and going back to work sleeping hoeing all that LMFAO 

omg the time I left Leo at my place YOO LMAO

still have that expensive ass sweater LMFAO WAT A SIMP

those drunk texts he sent Me in august and I punked him off LMFAOO 😩😂

men trash 

darren Chris rob goddd all those damn ppl I met the one guy who saved me during that blacTHE BLACKOUT CABANNA NIGHT GOD THAT WAS A MESS LMAO TITTIES OUT EVERYTHING but yeah he was low key useless I forget his name highboy but whatever

YOOO THAT GIRLS TITTIES I SLEPT ON NGEIRGHEUHUE ICONIC

I got catfishes twice 😩 the change bitch and the John bitch airehguerihserh FUCKKK LMFAO

AND THEN THE CHANG BITCH WAS TRYNA SAY OH U JSUT LOOK TO ARAB THATS WHY WE HAVNET TALKED AGAINL IKE BITCHHHHH FIRST OF ALL UR A WHOLE CATFISHFHERGUERBKSHETERU AHERUIGESRUYR LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 

and then I catfish Sunday to punk him off for revenge and call him a thot and thought he was talking about me for catfish when it was just about another bitch he was hoeing with cuz he a hoe.. Jesus my life wild

SO MUCH SHIT THIS SUMMER UHERGHSREG

gained weight fml I don't even wanna mention it iDONT WANNA TALK

even if it is muscle I dDONT WANNT TALK ABOUT IT

the cabana pool jump... godd... walking home drunkregiuhersguhe fucK 

summer was crazy

nada and mama coming wow that was annoying I rlly can't do family even though I love them

getting high swimming the catfish racing munchies arguing with Alex LMAO 

eating out with Dania gab Lisa the normal ppl I met lool

a lot of stress of money and where I want to go I was in a hella rush idk why I think everything happening so fast made me not want to slow down at all but im finally slowing down 

priya end of the year rebel tiff stuff 

basically drowning in depress and regret around the end of summer cuz everything calmed down and I had the time to think and reflect about everything and yeah.. got super depressed

that bitch cc and her bullshit yo just fucking go bye

notice how there's like no memories with her like yeah there was but they were just annoying cuz she was annoying highkey

thanks for bringing my shit from Ottawa tho dumbass LOL eat a dick

THE HOT TUBBBB SUMMERSSS AND SUMMER NIGHTS 

omg all my emo ass walks at night to the port and water and trillium park in the morning aiohreughresehre writing with my journal god that was actually nice tho 

super peaceful so happy to live near the water highkey

always in between losing myself who am I what do I do now who am I like did I lost myself did I ever have myself

major existential crisis

how did I survive work god 

musicmusiscmusicccc

moviesmovesmoves

readreadread

actually I had a lot of night walking home from the club sad

omg remember the ovo guy fucking loser liar 

as usualllll 

RECORDRESCORSDCRECORDDSSS SO MANY TDOT IS PERFECTT

ugh what else fuck too much shit happened OH YEAH

my birthday with the girls and the bbq!! the cake!! omg so nice :((( so funny lol

that weirdo ass man that I still see in the gym sometimes god help me lol 

passing my probation!!!! and then like finally fitting in and feeling apart of mk and the “family” lol

CLARK KENT AND SCOTTISH MANS MAKING MY LIFE EVRYDAYYYYYugh love them

got a moomin from Scottish mans 🥺 love him

anyways got depressed drowning in obsession.. nothing surprising there 🙄 

got high and drunk like bottom of the barrel... 

right before pargol came LMAO 

oh yeah I went to Ottawa because yo I was going out of my mind about losing myself.. needed to go BACK to the place I hated to find myself

went back and it was like??? everything was the same.. still saw vin and avid and Herman at Rideau still had bbt with them 

still fucking around hector and that whole crew had Ivan his girl moe.. ribal..Kyle YO lol that weird ass club experience AS USUAL Ottawa clubs trash god

apple picking same year in a row wit z <3 and hamza and fams lol

saw the kids and got to be stupid again loool 

anyways came back to my actual life

like it just felt weird knowing that the place I had all my memories and experiences in like.. felt nothing

even the forest felt weird like I didn't need to be there anymore?

as much as tried to drown myself in obsession and my past and bad habits.. I couldn't?

im being forced to move forward and learned Sunday was the last experience it was just eye opening

after the emotional shit I sat down again and had a whole purging 

I never felt that bad and horrible and drowned in obsession since raglan..

like.. deleted the hidden pictures... the feeling.. like I've done this before...

that was the final straw..

you think its over just because I am dead but its not over..the games just begun.

never again. 

anyways I met Aisha!!! love her vibe with her heavy

introduceed me to the sugar shit YOOOO LMFAOOO

THEN WE STARTING PIMPIN AND MAKING EXTRA MONEY

NO MORE MONEY STRUGGLE 

GOT FUCKED OVER HEART TURNED COLD NOW WE FOCUSING ON MONEY CAREER POWER PLAYING THESE HOES FOR THEY MONEY AND RECLAIMING MYSELF 

weird ass fucking people but get the money and go 

stack up crazy and saving up this past few months 

and just chilling w friends and therapy sessions

scheming and planning for the future

therapy sessions

got close with Lisa

oh yeah BOLO!! UGH BEST GYM

ALSO OMG I FORGOT I SAW BROCKHAMPTON AGAIN!!! AND SOMEHOW GOT TO THE BARRIER AND LITERALLY HAD SO MUCH INTERACTION WITH KEVIN LIKE SINGING TOGETHER AND THEN HE CAME DOWN SAID I GOTCHU AND TOOK TWO PICS WITH ME FUCKGIERGEIUTHSEUH THAT WAS INSANEEE MY LIFE WILDDDD 

iconic holiday party and New Years with again like random weird ppl and my girls exemplifying how wild and fresh the whole experience of this year was 

at least I be waking up warm and clean in MY PLACEby myself with no bullshit 

just like.. got a new place new job new city basically live the life I always wanted? reading movies? new friends no problems? wtf how my life change so quick

new interesting experiences

getting drunk high dancing at my place out in these streets just meeting bare people all these new people and experiences holy shit... 

and like yeah im not where I want to be but this progress and process is FUN now 

everything a strategy and a move and love staying busy 

wish I had more free time tho I never feel rested my life fucking crazy LOOL

that weirdo bitch who thought he was dating me UGHHH BOTTOM OF THE BARRELL JUST FOR A CAR AND FOOD BITCHARE U CRAZY 

power trip crazy im so sorry jfc 

anyways block and move on

met Chris and we still talking for like 3 months in a row god... lol gunna see him Saturday idk was the HALE going on 

im like surrounded by hoes???? and I don't want it GOD I JUST BEEN FOCUSING ON ME AND MONEYFUCK EVERYONE ELSE 

idek what else maybe im missing shit but this whole year wild best year of MY LIFE though

idk what the fuck gunna happen in 2020 cuz my split lives and the chaos and playing hoes and always thinking about opportunity and abundance and money got my mind and moves all wrapped in strategy but we only ONNLY ONLYYY GOING UP from here no excuses lets fucking go I always say this but 2019 was fucking wild and you know what.. lets fucking go 2020 LETS FUCKING GO as long as I don't gain weight LMFAO lets fucking GO. money and power on my mind exclusively. gl imma see you in 2 years. focusing on bigger things but at least im OUT HERE and ESCAPED and we onLY ATTRACTING AND MANIFESTING ABUNDANCE 

[pmcurtis]

Yah hi ik u dont know me but i rlly love ur blog! Im so excited to even be writing u this. Can i get something about like being left at the alter and the guy of Your choice comforting you? Its happened to me before and i would love to get the comfort and love from a fictional character that i never got in real life ;]

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species... What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... That's Barry! ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But isn't he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.