#and yes this is literally what esme is like shes such a loser

[lis-likes-fics]

The Cullen Games

Pairing: Carlisle Cullen x Reader (but it has a lot of Cullen Family x Cullen!Reader) Word Count: 3189 words, I know Warnings: None. :P Author’s Note: I literally just thought about how fun it would be to have a piggy back ride with Emmett and then proceeded to concoct this beauty. Enjoy, pfft-

The moment the sun was high enough to make the light reflect beautifully off of the water in the streams, Y/N had a wicked grin on her face. It was officially the first day of spring and it was time for the seasonal Cullen Games.

She burst into the living room where a few of the family members had settled, Carlisle came in the door behind her with a silent smile on his face as she announced, "Cullens, it's that time of year. You love it, you live it. It's the Cullen Games!"

"The Cullen Games?" Bella asked, looking up from her book where Renesmee was sitting with her on the couch. "What's that?"

Carlisle wrapped his arm around his wife's waist as he smiled, "We usually have it four times a year, the first day of each season. It's our little taste of the mundane."

Alice clapped, "We have the most fun with it. We just haven't been able to do it in the past couple of years for...reasons."

Bella knew those reasons, they were quite obvious. They hadn't been able to do it in the past couple of years because she was there with a new problem every few months. But that wasn't the point. The point was, it was time for the Cullen Games.

Esme smiled, "Alice and Y/N have an intense rivalry every time. They're always trying to figure out whose team will win. I think they're at a tie this time."

"Yep," Carlisle sighed, "Which means this time around will be extra competitive."

Y/N nodded, "And we have a few new members to help up with the games this time."

Rosalie looked up with narrow eyes, "Who?"

She smiled wickedly, "Jacob, Seth, and Leah. They're part of the obstacle course. We're spicing things up this time. Plus, Seth really wanted to join."

Esme flipped through her book as she asked, "Have you chosen your teams yet?"

Y/N shrugged, "We don't pick until the day of, so no. But I know my team."

"Ah-ah-ah!" Alice exclaimed, "Not yet! We have to set up the course."

"Yes, I know, I know," Y/N sighed, "We're getting there."

Emmett cracked his knuckles, "This is gonna be great."

Y/N smiled wickedly once again, she did it a lot this time of year. She loved the Cullen Games, she was part of the reason they existed. It would start with the explaining of the courses, the choosing of the teams, and then the setting up of the courses. Once the teams were chosen, they would chose their roles and the game would start. Whoever's team won the games would chose a team member to kick off the first hunt of the season. No one really cared about the hunting part really, it was just a fun prize.

Y/N and Alice, however, did care a lot about who won. They've been doing this for forever, trying to beat one another in the games. After winning and losing and winning and losing, they were finally at a tie. There was no special prize in it, they just really wanted to see who won.

Everyone loved their competition, it was one of their favorite things about being a Cullen - getting to watch Alice and Y/N battle to find out who could do the games better.

Y/N grabbed the whiteboard she and Alice had been writing on for the past week to figure out what the games would consist of. She wheeled it into the room with a red marker and started explaining.

"The Station One is 'Tree Climb'. The team leaders -- spring season is me and Alice -- start the races this way. We will climb up the starting trees, travel on tree top, and then drop down when we see our next team members."

Alice explained the next bit, "Then there's Station Two, 'Piggy Back'. After getting down, you climb on your partner's back and they carry you to the halfway point. Once you reach the halfway, you switch to your next partner's back and they carry you to the endpoint."

Y/N nodded, "Right. Station Three is 'Hole In Three'. There will be three hoops. Once you get off your partner's back after reaching the endpoint line, you tag your next member. The other two members will get to their next positions during this station. The team member will pick up one ball and have to score it in each hoop in only one throw. You will only be able to see two hoops, you will have no clue where the third hoop is. If you miss a hoop, your team loses points. The wolves will howl for how many you got. After the throw, that member will tag the rider back in and they go to Station Four."

Alice rubbed her hands together as she started explaining the next station, Smacking her ruler on the board to the purposefully terrible drawing of a wolf. "Station Four is 'Wolf Chase'. After tagging your member back in, you'll both go to the next checkpoint where Jacob, Leah, and Seth will be waiting as wolves. They'll be chasing after you, you have to avoid them. If they get you, you lose points. Once out of bounds, you will grab your team flag."

"And there, you'll start Station Five," Y/N took over, "Station Five is a three-legged race. You'll grab the partner that took the second piggy back in the second station and tie your legs together. The flag must be wedged in between your legs and secure. If the flag falls, you lose points."

Alice nodded, "Once your couple reaches the checkpoint to start Station Six, 'Finish Line', you hand your flag to the member who started the piggy back and they will take it to the finish line where Renesmee will take the winning flag and wave the victory."

They took it all in as they thought over the games. Just then, the three wolves walked up the stairs and stared at the board in confusion and slight concern. "What'd we miss?" Jacob asked.

"You'll get a brief summary later," Alice explained, "Right now we pick teams! Since Y/N got the most points last games, she gets to pick her first member." Alice sighed at the last bit, mumbling to herself about how she won last games so she didn't even care.

Y/N smiled triumphantly and looked over the room. She looked at Carlisle, "I love you, but I'm choosing Emmett first. Come on, himbo bro."

Emmett stood, cracking his knuckles again as he laughed, "Nice." He high fived her and Alice looked over the room. "Edward," she smiled.

"But you get him every time!" Y/N whined.

"No, I don't! You had him last games and the games before that," Alice complained. Y/N mumbled under her breath before breathing out a laugh. She looked at them again and immediately picked Carlisle. "I love you," she mouthed to him. He smiled and chuckled silently, kissing her forehead and standing behind her with his arms wrapped around her waist.

"Jasper," Alice said.

"Bella."

"Rosalie."

"Seth, Jacob, and Leah are their own team," Y/N explained. She turned to Bella and smiled, "Welcome to the winning team." Bella chuckled, "Happy to be here." Alice scoffed and glanced at her team.

"Loser- I mean, Alice, what's your team name?" Y/N asked her with a smile.

Alice rolled her eyes, "Gone with the Win."

Y/N stuck her tongue out and put a thumbs down, "That's lame, terrible name."

"That's a great name, Y/N, I don't know what you're talking about," Rosalie commented with a laugh.

Y/N stood next to Emmett as she smiled, "Well, we're Blood Bath and Beyond." She high-fived Emmett proudly and Carlisle commented, "I don't know how to feel about that name."

She turned to her husband, "Well, you can join the loser's side. No one will judge you."

Emmett whispered, "Everyone will judge him."

Carlisle rolled his eyes with a smile and a laugh, "I'm okay, thank you." Y/N clapped her hands together with a proud smile, "Top that name, Alice. Bet you can't."

Alice rolled her eyes, "Whatever, discuss your team roles."

Y/N chuckled and they left the room to go to the next one and discuss - even if that didn't stop the others from listening in. The only reason they didn't was because it was cheating, they would be disqualified if they eavesdropped. Esme usually narrated the games or posed as a referee, so they would be in line. She had a little helper this season.

Y/N looked over her team as she assessed them, "Alright, maggots - just kidding, I love you - this season is going to be tough. It's the tiebreaker between me and Alice. We gotta show what real winners look like. Emmett, you'll start off the Station Two with the Piggy Back and you'll switch with Carlisle. You'll carry me to Station Three, where I'll tag Bella. I hope you have a good arm, because Esme will not be kind when she sets those hoops up. Once you hear the howls, you tag me back in and we'll head into the trees. When we get there, Carlisle and I will do the race. You'll stick the flag, securely, into the tie. When he get to the end of the race, I'll hand the flag to Emmett, who will carry us to victory, both literally and figuratively. Good?"

They all somehow understood her game plan and went with it. They gave her a single nod and she answered any questions they had. Once they finished, they picked their team colors. Naturally, red for Blood Bath and Beyond. Gone with the Win chose the color blue. They got their flags set at the checkpoints, then they set the lines down. After another hour, the hoops were set up, as well as the ties for the race, and Renesmee's podium at the finish line.

They went over the stations one more time, even if it was only slightly unnecessary, and everyone got in their positions. They gave their signal and Y/N turned to Alice, "Remember, you can't use your powers."

"I know, I know," she rolled her eyes. She smiled, "I'm still gonna make you take that 'L'."

"In your dreams, buttercup," Y/N scoffed.

"I don't dream," Alice said as they got to the two trees they would start the games at. Esme stood with Renesmee at her side. They started counting. "Three." "Two." "One." "Go!"

Alice and Y/N took off up the trees like bullets, moving in a blur to human eyes as they reached the top of their two trees in no time. When they reached the top, they carefully searched for their partners, locking with their targets and racing on treetop.

When she reached the last tree, Y/N completely skipped climbing down and just dropped down to the ground. Emmett knelt and she climbed on his back, her legs over his shoulders. He took off, racing through the trees and avoiding any that would knock them down. She looked behind her and saw Alice and Jasper gaining up on them on their side of the course.

Y/N silently cursed and patted Emmett, "Don't go around this one."

"But-"

"Trust me," she told him. They headed straight for a tree, the branch extended out and threatening to knock her off his shoulders. She steadied herself to her feet, still on his shoulders, and jumped over the branch. He had his hands held out for her. She did a flip before extending her body, he grabbed her in the air, placing her back on his shoulders. "You're crazy," he commented.

"Crazy wins the race," she commented with a smile.

When they finally reached the halfway point, instead of climbing off of Emmett's shoulders, she placed her hands on Carlisle's and jumped over Emmett's head and onto Carlisle. She glanced over and saw that Edward was waiting for Alice and Jasper impatiently.

Smart. Edward was the fastest.

Carlisle rushed to the next endpoint. Whatever had affected Jasper before, definitely wasn't affecting Edward as he darted through the woods. "Step on it, Carlisle!" Y/N exclaimed.

He told her, "Edward's faster."

She shrugged, "But can he throw better than you?"

"What?"

"When we get close to the line, throw me," Y/N instructed him. Carlisle sighed heavily, a smile playing on his lips at the ridiculousness of her plan, but nodded.

As expected, Edward passed them at some point as the finish line got closer. Carlisle took a hold of Y/N's waist as he reached up for her, gripping them in his hands before chucking her over the line from who knows how far. She shot like a bullet over the line, immediately tagging Bella.

"And Y/N comes flying to the third station, tagging Bella into the game!" Esme exclaimed as Bella picked up her red ball and aimed carefully. Carlisle went to his next station to wait. Alice finally got off of Edward's back, tagging Rosalie. "Here comes Alice in second, tagging Rose in for a chance at redemption," Esme continued to announce, as if they had an actual audience. Bella threw her ball and, after a moment, the sound of three wolves howling broke the silence of the distant air.

"Yes!" Bella exclaimed, tagging Y/N back in. Rosalie threw her ball and only received two howls. "Dammit!" Rosalie muttered, tagging Alice back in.

They darted to the boundary that the wolves were waiting in, treading carefully and silently through the trees. It was so silent, a snapping twig would disturb everything there. When Y/N heard a soft growl from where Bella was headed, she crouched and lunged forward, shoving her out of the way as Leah leapt from the trees, Jacob and Seth coming out as well as they lunged for the vampires. Leah knocked Y/N off her feet as Bella turned around momentarily. Y/N scrambled to her feet and dodged Seth and Jacob, dodging Leah's second attack.

Rosalie and Alice whizzed by her and Y/N motioned for Bella to keep going. They both darted out of the trees, seeing Alice and Edward putting their legs together as Rosalie began to tie them. Y/N cursed silently, rushing to Carlisle and getting herself ready.

Bella quickly tied their inside legs together and intertwined the flag in their ties. Y/N and Carlisle nodded, intertwining their inside hands before carefully rushing to the endpoint where Emmett was waiting to take the flag from them.

Y/N smiled when Alice and Edward's flag fell over and they had to call for Rosalie to fix it. Y/N and Carlisle reached their endpoint and tagged Emmett, who grabbed their flag and darted for the finish line.

When Jasper finally got their flag, it seemed as though he was going to win. But when they reached Renesmee with their arms extended and their flags waving in the air, everything seemed to stop as they tried to look as see whose flag was going to wave first, both flags were in her hands. It happened so quickly that no one but Renesmee would tell who won.

Esme looked to the girl as she asked, "Who's the winner?"

Renesmee smiled and raised an arm, waving the red flag in the air excitedly. Y/N and her team smiled and cheered as Esme announced, "And the winner of this season's Cullen Games is Blood Bath and Beyond!"

Emmett and Bella high fived and he brought her into a bear hug as they celebrated. Y/N looked to Carlisle with a large smile, hugging him tightly before finally kissing him. When they pulled back, she exclaimed, "We did it!"

"We did!" Carlisle replied, "But, next time, I pick the name."

"Oh, alright," she smirked, "You're a summer leader anyway." She turned to Bella, "Oh, that reminds me. Bella, you're joining Emmett as a Fall Leader. You'll have your own team for Fall Games."

She cheered to herself and then turned to Edward to rub her victory in his face. Y/N walked over to Alice, taking Carlisle with her since they were still tied together. Alice also had to haul Edward with her, they were also still tied together.

Y/N held out her hand and Alice shook it as they congratulated each other for a good game. Esme then talked with Renesmee as they rounded up the results. "Okay, we have the points added up. Gone with the Win had six points total. You received two points for making only two hoops, and you won three for successfully avoiding the wolves. You won one more point for getting to the Three-Legged race first, but you lost that point when you dropped your flag. You won an additional point when you managed to get your flag to Renesmee so quickly," Esme explained.

Renesmee spoke in her small voice, "Blood Bath and Beyond won seven points total, so Gramps will be choosing the first member for summer's games."

Alice's team cheered again and Esme smiled, "You won two points for finishing station one first and starting station two first. You got three points for making all three hoops - good job, Bella. You lost three points when you were attacked by the wolves and lost another point for starting second for the race. You got one more point back when you managed to keep your flag straight, and you won five additional points for winning."

"Who's starting the Spring Hunt?" Jasper asked Y/N since she was the leader of her team. She smiled at Carlisle, "Why don't we have our leader kick it off this season?" Carlisle bent down and kissed her gently and everyone agreed.

~

Later that evening, they sat around the fire they made outside with the addition of Seth and Jacob - Leah didn't really want to join. They laughed and talked for a while as the sun officially set and it got dark. After another short while, Seth went back to his home and left the Cullens to themselves. Jacob went into the house with Renesmee so she could sleep.

Right before they got ready for the hunt, Carlisle stood and look around at the faces of each member of his family. He smiled, "This season's games were fun. It was nice to be able to have those again after a handful of seasons away from them. Let's welcome our newest members of the games, Bella and Renesmee."

The family clapped for them before turning back to Carlisle. Y/N smiled up at him warmly as he continued, "May this spring be as good as any other as we welcome it this year."

There was a light whoop around the fire and he looked down at Y/N, her eyes sparkling as she gazed up at him. He smiled softly to her and then turned to the rest of the family. "Good hunting, everyone."

"Good hunting" was scattered around the fire and they took it as their rightful cues to begin. They left into the wood and Y/N stood with Carlisle, a hand in his as she smiled at him. "I love you," she muttered happily.

Carlisle kissed her gently, "I love you."

~~~~~

Dr. Cullen taglist: @libellule2001​

[locknessiecullen]

Rosalie and Esme deserved better...

I’ve been seeing a lot of posts about Rose and Esme lately, and you’ve had me thinking. I’ll start with Rosalie, because I have a lot to say about her. First. She was badly written - SM hates women, fact. But she hated the two most unique characters she had, Goddamn Rosalie Hale and fucking Leah Clearwater - but that’s another post.  I feel like we need to remember that Carlisle saved a woman with a life, she wasn’t alone like Edward or Esme. She was a socialite, Rose was from a well known rich family and engaged to a rich man. People knew who Rosalie Hale was, she was a very publicly happy engaged young woman.

Was she on the verge of death? Yes. But she had a family. Young Rosalie Hale just disappeared without a trace. Did her family know what happened to their beautiful daughter? What about her sister and her friends? I know she wouldn’t have lived, but I feel that should have been her reasoning for not wanting Bella to be turned, she was taken from her family and was forced to watch them live on without her. 

But then SM tries to tell me that after being gang r*ped, she would trust men????????? I would be scared to death if some psycho bit me in the street for one thing, but if they; took me, watched over me whilst I screamed in agony, and then tried to make her marry some depressed loser who can hear my thoughts, I’d burn them alive. She should have hated and resented Carlisle. There was no need for to remain with him and his ‘family’, especially after she saved Emmett’s life - without thinking he would make a nice husband.

Now imagine, you’re a woman who has just lost her husband and child. You can’t bear to live without them, you’re alone and everyone think’s you’re insane. And then bam! You hit the water, you’re ready to die and the next thing you know you’re forced to live forever, haunted, and forced to stay with a these two weird men and kill animals - because someone thought you were pretty. That’s Esme’s entire story. That and she likes interior design...and cooking Italiano.

Esme deadass has no background. She was barley in the story. She literally could have been a Vampire before she met Carlisle - whoever wrote the post about Esme changing Rose running away from Carlisle had the best idea (please tag their post if you see it). SM did not write good characters. Most of their ‘flaws’ were blazing red flags, and Carlisle was at the centre of it all. The Wolves would not have changed if it wasn’t for him. Bella would have lived a normal life without him.  Although characters would have died, they wouldn’’t have to suffer with immortality, or having to hear the name “R*nessme” be uttered. Why do we like this book again??

[closeasstrangersmp3]

( ! * frcmeden. )

“i mean can you believe he actually thought i would buy him alcohol? he was like TWELVE and he called me missy, you cannot tell me he was actually serious - i was this close to asking for his parents’ phone number and telling on him.”