#angst with a sad ending

[arminsumi]

「 🔴 RECORDING 」

found footage of satoru's student years... recorded on the camcorder that he carried around everywhere.

warnings : heavy angst, fluff, implied death, not proofread

[ the first footage is one minute long. there's two blue eyes widening comedically on the screen. the resolution is low and the audio is tinny. ]

"Ooo it works... well hellooooooo there... i'm... GOJO!! SATORU!! and this is... suguuuuruu getooooo... oh look at that walk, you're such a model."

[ the camera is on suguru, who's walking with bad posture. he doesn't like the camera. ]

[ he has his old hairstyle; this was recorded before his hair was long enough to be in the bun style. he hides his face from the camera. ]

"... aw, he's a model that doesn't like cameras. anyways... this is the beautiful... STUNNING... hot... talented... playing-hard-to-get... (haha kidding)... y/n~"

[ the camera pans to you. you can hear the flirty tone in satoru's voice. ]

"... we are currently walking through the gates of hell..."

[ the camera pans to the school. the resolution clears for a second to show a blue sky with slowly drifting clouds. ]

"okay. we have arrived in hell; look there's satan himself—"

[ the camera pans to yaga. ]

[ the footage ends with yaga confiscating satoru's camera and scolding him. ]

[ a video starts off shaky. the camera is dropped on the train floor and suguru sighs. ]

"satoru...... did you just break it after having it for one day?"

[ satoru picks it up and gives a toothy smile to the screen. ]

"nah. she's all good. not even a scratch. ooh... suguru we look so hot. and look how hot y/n is... she's so scandalous — sittin' next to me on the train. this proximity's got me sweatin', baby... kidding kidding... don't gimme that look!"

[ suguru gives the middle finger to the camera and satoru's iconic laugh sounds beautiful even through the crap audio quality. ]

[ there's a 3 minute video that's half-corrupted of a party happening in your apartment... of just you, satoru, suguru and shoko. lykke li's "i follow rivers" is playing loudly, satoru is screaming the lyrics in broken english and suguru is recording you and him dancing like maniacs. shoko is offering her cigarette to the camera and blowing smoke into the lens. ]

[ there's a 25 second clip of satoru aggressively kissing you until you laugh. ]

[ there is a photo of satoru crouching to pet a cat. he's holding an umbrella. ]

[ there is corrupted footage of laughter and a flicker of the video shows a tiny pot on a stove with ramen cooking in it. ]

[ there's a photo of you, satoru, suguru and shoko. you and satoru are looking at each other like lovebirds. suguru is giving the finger to the camera. shoko is laughing with her eyes closed. ]

[ a long video of satoru waking up in a hotel bed. he looks like he just woke up. he blinks at the camera, bleary-eyed and cute with puffy lips and messy hair. ]

"goodmornin'."

[ his morning rasp is strong. ]

"i'm awake... but miss sleepy head and mister sleepy head are not, as you can see..."

[ he zooms in on your face. you're laid at his right, and suguru is laid at his left. ]

"here's the sleeping angel... and here's the sleeping dragon... anyways... WAKEY WAKEYYYYYYYYY!!! IT'S A BRIGHT NEW DAY!!!"

[ suguru's wakeful groan sounds groggy and disturbed by satoru's loud, piercing wake-up call. you scrunch your face as you wake up, seemingly out of a dream. ]

"satoru... what the hell is the matter with you..."

[ it's an ultra close-up shot of your nose as you mumble this. ]

"i was lonely being awake by myself, gosh. you're so mean!"

[ he experiences a voice crack. suguru gives a sleepy, murderous look at his best friend. ]

"satoru... i swear i'm gonna throw that camera into traffic one day."

[ suguru's mumbling into his pillow too softly to be taken seriously. ]

"wanna say that to the camera?"

[ suguru looks grouchy. ]

"i'll kill you."

"WOW... buddy, this is evidence if you ever do kill me... the police will find this footage... 'n put your FLAT ass in jail. aw... y/n fell back asleep look look... aw she's so fucking precious."

[ suguru and satoru admire you for a bit. there rest of the footage is corrupted. ]

[ footage of a breakfast in the same hotel. sunny side eggs are zoomed-in on. and there's only eggs. ]

"we're too broke to buy bacon, isn't that cool?"

[ satoru gets a nice view up his nose as he tilts the camera to himself. then he turns the camera to you, who's sleepily eating this miserable breakfast. ]

"... so we just have eggs to eat... heyyyy hot babe..."

[ satoru flirts with you and you roll your eyes in response, smiling and chewing on your egg, fork in one hand. ]

"wanna hear a joke?"

"mhm."

"if you ever broke up with me, what would you call me?"

"an idiot?"

"your eggs."

[ you groan and stop eating because his pun was so awful, but you've got a big smile on your face and satoru is laughing heartily. ]

[ the video ends with you and satoru leaning in for a big kiss and a sleepy suguru walking into the room, itching his tummy under his shirt. ]

[ there's a clip of you, satoru, suguru and shoko yelling happy new year and watching fireworks explode into blazing, brilliant colors. suguru winks at the camera as you hold it and you giggle flirtatiously back. there's clearly tension between you two that neither satoru nor shoko acknowledge in the moment, because the fireworks distract them. ]

[ there's footage of you, satoru and suguru kissing. it ends with satoru kissing the camera as a joke. ]

[ most of the footage is corrupted after this. in the next video, satoru seems a bit older. ]

[ there's footage of a solo satoru, who's been enlightened and and burdened with being the strongest. he's on a mission alone, keeping the camcorder on as he exorcises a curse. he trots over to the camera. he seems less enthusiastic compared to the other videos. ]

"aaand that's what the strongest looks like while he's at work."

[ satoru looks smug and goofy, but something is off. his features look worn and tired. ]

[ there is already that slightly disingenuous liveliness showing in his demeanor just in this small video; the version of satoru that his students would know as just normal gojo sensei. ]

[ his smile falters as he rambles about y/n and suguru. ]

"i'm gonna give y/n a big kiss when i get home. miss you, angel. haha... why am i talking to a camera all by myself... that's so sad. i'm gonna film myself gettin' that kiss at home, just to prove i'm not some lonely idiot. i have a hot fiancé..."

[ one of the last photos taken on this camera is dated; august 2009. it's of you and satoru sharing a big kiss... neither of you knew it at the time, but it was your last kiss. ]

[ the next piece of footage is from 2018. it's a 28 year old gojo, his features show his maturity and the weathering of all the years he's endured living without you and suguru.]

"i found this camera while cleaning up. if i look 'n sound funny it's 'cuz i've been crying haha......"

"...... i miss you two..... haha... i can't shove the camera in your faces like i used to, now can i?"

[ he awkwardly smiles at the camera but then his face trembles and contorts into an ugly-cry as if he just remembered every single memory of his youth. ]

[ the footage ends with a broken, barely audible "fuck..." falling from the teacher's lips as he starts to cry and drops the camera to the floor. the rest is corrupted footage... just heaving sobs of the man who has no more memories to record with suguru and y/n. ]

© arminsumi

I do not permit the copying/reposting/translation/plagiarism of my works. Do not steal what I've worked hard to create.

This is fictional work.

[hellwantfuckme]

disgust, longing, jealousy

summary: everything points to Azriel loving Elain, so why does Eclipse feel that pull towards him?

warnings: angst(?

author's note: idk if this is good, I don't know if it's swallowable, pls keep remembering english isn't my first language:)

A feeling akin to disgust lodged itself in her chest, took root, and gripped, while the brown eyes, which always reflected what Eclipse felt, looked at the perfect image, the polar opposites. And the truth hurt, it weighed on her like a burden on her lungs, they fit together.

Elain's smile, full of shining teeth, the brown gaze that was a reflection of her own, fixed on the man sitting next to her. He was closer to Elain than he had been with Eclipse in months. It was purely Eclipse's fault, but that didn't make it any more manageable. The sound of Elain's laughter was soft, low. As if the two of them were sharing a secret. If Eclipse had been paying attention to the conversation she was supposed to be part of, she wouldn't have heard it. She wouldn't have noticed the way the Shadowsinger looked at Elain, a satisfied gleam in his eyes, a genuine half-smile. But Eclipse couldn't help but notice that his eyes didn't have even a quarter of that gleam that they had when they made her laugh. She dismissed the thought. She had one evidence after another of the obvious, Azriel liked Elain. Only Elain. That's why she kept her distance, that's why she had completely ignored Azriel's presence today, the first time they had seen each other in weeks.

The sound of Elain's giggles reached her again, and she watched as Azriel leaned only subtly to whisper something that only made her smile even bigger.

Eclipse wanted to vomit.

She looked away. As much as her gaze was drawn to them, sharing a seat on the brown couch, she forced herself to focus on the person who was talking, Cassian. She didn't realize it was him telling the anecdote until she saw his lips moving to utter the words, he was also smiling, probably for a different reason. But the slightest furrow of the brow found a home on his face. A suspicious sideways glance, that was all Cassian dedicated to Eclipse. As if he had noticed how her attention had been on Elain and Azriel, with a carefully neutral expression. Eclipse heard a laugh in the background, Mor, quickly identified. The alcohol making her feel more free, her voice trembling imperceptibly.

Eclipse knew that Cassian suspected something, but as the careful person she was, she made sure to push down what she felt. Disgust, longing, jealousy. She pushed and pushed until there was no trace of it visible in her sharp features, until it seemed that she had just been momentarily distracted by the sound of her cousin's laughter and wondered what had caused it. Putting it all together in her head, the perfect excuse, the perfect reactions, helped her maintain, at least, a faint semblance of strength for herself. She still had control over something, at least. Or so she wanted to convince herself as she reached for the coffee table, took the barely touched wine glass, and took a sip. Her gaze dancing between Mor and Cassian, between the exchanged words.

Eclipse didn't know if keeping up the act made her a bad person, if that disgust she felt really only should be directed at herself. How could the sound of her cousin being happy disgust her?

She had distanced herself from Azriel, just as she had from Elain. She had accepted the invitation to live in the newly built house of Feyre and Rhys, only because it would avoid both of them. She hoped, even though in a corner of her mind it was nothing more than a foolish thought, that whatever her problem with both of them was would dissipate with space. That corner of her mind was the same one that told her that no matter how much time, or space, she could put between them, the feeling would persist.

Eclipse needed another sip, and then another. And the air in the room became heavier, the crackling of the logs in the fireplace became louder than the voices, and her skin was overheated. Eclipse exhaled.

She tried not to tense up when the melodic sound of Elain's laughter reached her ears again, a low murmuring following it, as if Azriel continued with the joke.

The pain in her chest thickened, for a moment, Eclipse felt it thicken so much that she wouldn't be able to get out of it. Because it was Elain he was making laugh, because the pull in her chest towards him urged her to approach.

She didn't understand. But what did she understand at this point? Eclipse stood up from the chair, clearing her throat.

"I think I'll go outside for some fresh air," she murmured. Her voice weak, her eyes fixed on nowhere as she made her way out of the room. She didn't look at anyone, didn't let anyone see the reflection of pain in her eyes.

"Is everything okay?" Cassian asked. Eclipse just hummed an affirmation, hurrying to lead her footsteps away.

She felt a gaze follow her, she knew whose gaze it was, because it was the one that made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. The ghostly touch of a shadow entwined itself around her wrist, and when Eclipse looked, the shadow was already fading, returning to its owner, she supposed.

She also faded from the room, like that shadow. Only she carried feelings.

Muscle memory guided her through the corridors of the House of Wind, quick steps until she reached the nearest balcony. A vast balcony that showed Velaris in the distance.

The stars shone above her, Eclipse walked until she was facing the railing, her hands leaning on the cold stone, offering only a slight comfort. It was cold stone, not frozen, it wouldn't bite her skin, it wouldn't make her forget the oppression in her chest. Eclipse closed her eyes, exhaling the air from her lungs so slowly that she needed oxygen before she finished expelling it all.

«Yes, Eclipse. How discreet of you, you didn't leave the room like a drama queen just because you heard her laugh or anything.» her conscience scolded her sarcastically. She just lifted her chocolate gaze to the star-filled sky, letting the icy air fill her lungs.

Why? Why did everything have to be so complicated? She had met hundreds of men, and why, of all those, did she have to like the man who already had another woman in his heart?

Deep down she knew the answer. If she were selfish, she would say it was because he seemed made for her. In every sense of the word. He was everything she had been looking for, both consciously and unconsciously.

And he liked her cousin.

How ridiculous. It was simply ridiculous. She let out a sigh laden with anxiety, her elbows leaning on the railing and her hands covering her face, and then the long, well-cared-for nails crossed her hair.

Why? Hadn't the being that controlled her life's cruel joke seen her suffer enough? What more did they expect from her? What more could she do! She felt like shouting it to the sky.

She had been so lost in her thoughts that she had missed the subtle change in the atmosphere, as the shadows in the right corner seemed to darken, and their movement became irregular. The only warning of Azriel's presence, before the sound of footsteps echoed from the hallway. The sound approached, until Eclipse could see from the corner of her eye Azriel's tall figure.

He didn't look at her, he stood by her side. Hands in his pockets as he gazed forward, exactly the same thing she had been looking at, the sky. Eclipse knew that if he had wanted to, he would have been silent. He probably would have made noise just to not startle her.

Eclipse exhaled, composed herself, leaving her cold hands on the railing, focusing her gaze elsewhere. If only she could control the way her heart fluttered as his scent, cedar and mist, filled her nostrils and lungs. It made her slightly dizzy. If only it wasn't inappropriate to approach, to breathe in a bit more of his scent. This was the first time they were so close in weeks, Eclipse wondered if he would bring up the subject.

The silence that accompanied Azriel was an invitation, unspoken by him, but it was there. Eclipse didn't feel like giving him any explanation, about anything, mostly because her tongue felt heavy, numb against her palate. And to mumble foolish words, Eclipse would rather not say anything.

The silence enveloped both of them, Eclipse looked down at her fingers while Azriel directed his towards her, a silent question. Eclipse's fingers nervously intertwined, and only after a few seconds, she relented. His gaze was so heavy that she just wanted him to stop looking at her, but as soon as he did, she would long for it. Because she was complicated, and he was a man who did not correspond to her secret feelings.

"I just needed some air," she murmured, without raising her gaze, hoping that was what he was looking for.

"Did Cassian smother you with his embarrassing stories?" he joked, or attempted to, his voice as smooth as silk holding a light, playful undertone. Her breathing became heavy.

Ah, so Cassian had been talking about that. Eclipse swallowed, with a very conscious change of opinion, she looked up, meeting his gaze. With his brow so subtly furrowed that it was imperceptible, with his eyes holding a worried gleam. For a moment, the world stopped. For just a moment he was the only one, while his gaze held hers, probing to see what he could find. At some point, they had been close enough for Azriel to realize how easily her feelings reflected in her eyes. He had always had an easy time reading her, as if she were an open book, and that seeded a thorn of fear.

She looked away after just a couple of seconds, feeling like he was probing every corner of her. Not that she wanted to let him see her vulnerability. She feared that, somehow, he could know. All those embarrassing feelings she harbored about him and Elain together.

"I suffocate myself, I don't need Cassian to say anything," Eclipse told him, a gentle shrug pretending to release some tension in her back.

Azriel didn’t miss the gesture, and he scrutinized her, as if wondering what had caused that tension. If perhaps it had something to do with him.

Eclipse licked her lips, not feeling brave enough to raise her gaze again. To meet his, not while her heart continued to beat frantically. She wondered if he could hear it.

And as if his shadows had heard her doubts, she felt something pressing against the fabric of her thin dress, just above her heart. As though they were trying to calm it, to say "you have nothing to worry about". And she wanted to tell them yes, she worried because she couldn’t like Azriel. That made her a horrible cousin, and also, stupid. Azriel, with a neutral, cold, and disciplined expression, hadn't given her even the slightest signal that he felt the same.

The shadows, as if they understood, left her chest, smoothly moving towards her intertwined hands on the railing. They offered a gentle caress, a gentle comfort.

Eclipse accepted that it was a good way to help her, tilting her head only slightly, with curiosity. "I'm sorry," Azriel breathed, his brow deeply furrowed. As if he had been making a great effort to subdue the shadows again, they finally relented.

"What are you apologizing for?" by the way Azriel looked at her, she assumed her tone must have reflected a little sadness at losing the wonderful shadows. "It's nothing," she assured him, with all the certainty she could muster. "They're...curious."

Azriel looked at her for a few more moments, drinking in every little gesture, every little reaction in Eclipse's face. As if he wanted to decipher whether she truly thought so.

Eclipse felt uncomfortable under Azriel's gaze, she simply sighed.

"I should go back inside."

"Why? Why should you?" Azriel's statement almost came out as an exclamation, and she hadn't expected it. She blinked, searching for a response. The silence settled between them once again, and Eclipse lowered her gaze. He exhaled through his nose.

"I'm sorry, Eclipse. I'm just trying to understand you."

His usual neutral features softened, his gaze becoming milder. Eclipse realized today the green predominated in those hazel eyes. Azriel hesitantly took a step towards her, and when she didn't move away, nor backed up in any way, he took another step. They were so close now, Eclipse's heart was pounding in her ears like a drum, and his scent was intoxicating. She considered stepping back, but a part of her urged her to stay, a small part hidden in her chest that seemed to connect her to Azriel by a thread, kept her in place.

She had to gently stretch her neck to look up at him due to his height, and he held her gaze.

"I don't know what you're trying to understand," Eclipse said, her voice weak and low. Her shoulders lifted a little as she spoke the words, even though she really knew what he meant. But acknowledging it would be like admitting everything she had been feeling for months, the whole labyrinth in her mind, one in which Azriel seemed to be lost, desperately trying to find a way out.

Although it was only the subtle desperation in his eyes that hinted at such a thing.

Eclipse looked away.

"You're avoiding me," Azriel stated, his voice holding a sad tone. Guilty, one that inevitably pressed a dagger against her. Eclipse feared to raise her gaze, to face all those emotions she had caused. But it was best for both of them. Better to keep a distance than to be uncomfortable in each other's presence.

"Is it because of something I've done?"

Eclipse was stunned, every muscle in her body tensed. Her brow furrowed. She was a coward, she knew it. She knew. No. How could it possibly be because of something he had done?

Azriel just pressed the tip of his finger under her chin, lifting it. Forced her brown eyes to meet his again. The way Azriel was looking at her almost took her breath away.

"Eclipse," he almost begged. "Tell me what happened, so that I can fix it."

Her eyebrows curved, Eclipse opened her mouth, but no sound came out so she simply closed it again. Eclipse took a deep breath, trying not to drown in his gaze. Trying not to drown in the feeling.

"It's not because of you, Azriel. It's not about you. I... There's no way I can explain it correctly."

"I'm sorry for distancing myself without telling you, I’m sorry for making you think it's your fault," Eclipse said, with every ounce of honesty in her body. "It's just that I can't..."

"You can't what?"

"I can't do this, Azriel. I just can't," the pressure in her chest increased, he didn’t know what she was talking about. His brows furrowed.

"It's already hard enough to ignore that pull that constantly drags me towards you. Don't make this any harder," she pleaded, and she knew she was saying too much. Her eyes stung.

"Eclipse, what are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about not being able to stay away from you, and you like Elain."

The truth hit her like a bucket of cold water. And Eclipse hoped, prayed, for a moment, that he would tell her that he felt the same pull too. That he also...

"Oh," Azriel took a step back, it was the largest gap they had left between themselves. It was hard for him to process. One second, two.

Horror crossed Eclipse's features momentarily. The rejection was clear. So clear. Eclipse felt a lump in her throat, one that she swallowed just to say the following words.

"You both deserve to be happy, and it seems like you're heading that way."

Eclipse said, her voice firmer than she could manage was barely a whisper, just loud enough for him to hear.

And he looked at her, as if still in disbelief. As if he was still processing it. Eclipse couldn't bear any more rejection, not when being there was a one-ton weight on her chest and her eyes stung.

She was just a fool, one who had fallen in love with the wrong male.

[justaweasel]

Obey me but I am actively crying as I write this (not anymore I'm okay)

Satan has a type of inferiority complex. It's mostly because he's technically the youngest. But he sees everything this siblings have done and compares himself constantly. Especially to Lucifer.

One time the brothers played a little game for funsies, maybe like one of those stupid little games of hide and seek.

Satan was it and had found everyone relatively quickly, however, Lucifer was left.

He had honestly given it his best to find his brother, and imagined Lucifer's voice taunting him as he tried so hard. He looked everywhere. The more he looked, the more his insecurity surged. He thought more and more of his smug older brother's face as he looked.

Eventually, he broke down. He stomped and furniture was hurled to the floor. Doors slammed and windows shattered.

Lucifer came out of hiding of course but seeing his face only made Satan angrier.

Of course he couldn't find him on his own. Lucifer had to come out just so he could find him. How pathetic.

He almost slammed the door off of its hinges. The sound echoing through the trashed house.

That night wasn't a restful one for Satan. The thoughts swirled through his head. How pathetic he was, how right now he wallowed in his loathing of himself. No matter what he'd do or accomplish, he'd be a second-rate Lucifer.

Whatever he achieved was short in comparison to what Lucifer had done. Whatever he bragged about Lucifer seemed to one-up him without trying. Nothing mattered because it was all, Lucifer, Lucifer, Lucifer. What he created was just an extension of Lucifer's accomplishments.

They all treated him like a kid, like lesser, but he's just as important and knowledgeable as them. Can't they see that for what it is? Isn't he important too? Isn't he someone with thoughts, feelings and emotions separate to Lucifer?

Never. He would never have that. He does his best to hide it. But it always tears it's way through the mental prison he's made for it. Locked up in what no one else would see. His thoughts blocked by a thick wall of fog.

The next morning they called it a hissy fit.

Was that all it boiled down to for them?? His feelings of shame and inner hatred of himself boiled down to a mere hissy fit? Was that truly how they saw him? How they saw his feelings? As if that whirlpool of feelings didn't suck him into their depths? As if he didn't feel the weight of his life and the circumstances of existence crush down on him until he was a screaming mess with no other way to deal with his emotions other than to make noise? Was that all he amounted to in their heads?

Let's just say Satan didn't come out of his room that night. Or the night after.

[witchmaximoff]

Unspoken Heart

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x F!Reader (Platonic) Wanda Maximoff x Vision

Summary: Where Y/N grapples with unrequited feelings for her friend Wanda. Despite her love being unreciprocated, Y/N selflessly prioritizes Wanda's happiness, willing to make sacrifices to ensure her well-being.

Warnings: Unrequited love, friendzone, angst, death, no happy ending.

Word count: 1097

NOTE: This is my first time writing something so I wanted to try, but English isn't my first language. I apologize for any mistakes. Please give me some feedback, it might encourage me to do more if you like it 🌹

Suddenly, the bell above the door chimes, and in walks Wanda Maximoff, her presence commanding attention even in a crowded room. Your heart skips a beat as she spots you and makes her way over, a warm smile gracing her lips.

You find yourself in the bustling city of New York, where the chaos of everyday life seems to fade away as you step into a quaint little cafe. Sitting alone at a table near the window, you watch the rain drizzle down outside, lost in your thoughts.

"Hey, Y/N," she greets you, pulling out a chair and sitting across from you. "Mind if I join you?" You nod eagerly, trying to contain the butterflies in your stomach as she settles in. The two of you have been friends for years, but lately, your feelings for Wanda have been anything but platonic.

As you chat about mundane things, you can't help but steal glances at her, admiring the way the soft light of the cafe accentuates her features. But deep down, you know that she only sees you as a friend, nothing more.

The conversation turns to deeper topics, and you find yourself opening up to Wanda about your hopes, your dreams, and your fears. She listens intently, her empathy and understanding washing over you like a warm embrace.

But as the night wears on and the cafe begins to empty out, a heavy silence settles between you. You can feel the weight of your unspoken words hanging in the air, the truth of your unrequited love threatening to spill out.

Finally, unable to bear it any longer, you gather your courage and speak up, your voice barely above a whisper. "Wanda, there's something I need to tell you..."

But before you can finish, Wanda reaches across the table and gently places her hand on yours, her touch sending shivers down your spine. "Y/N," she says softly, her eyes searching yours, "I cherish our friendship more than anything. You mean the world to me."

Your heart sinks at her words, the sting of rejection cutting deep. You force a smile, masking the pain behind it as you nod, pretending that her friendship is enough.

But as you watch her leave the cafe, the rain still falling outside, you can't help but wonder what could have been if only she felt the same way.

As you step out into the rain-soaked streets, the cool droplets patter against your skin, mirroring the tumultuous emotions swirling within you. Each raindrop feels like a tiny reminder of the tears you've been holding back, the ache in your chest growing heavier with each step.

The neon lights of the city blur through the mist, casting an eerie glow on the pavement below as you walk aimlessly, lost in your thoughts. The sound of distant thunder echoes in the night, a somber symphony that matches the rhythm of your breaking heart.

You can't help but replay the conversation with Wanda over and over in your mind, each word a painful reminder of the unrequited love that weighs you down. The knowledge that she will never feel the same way gnaws at you, tearing at your soul with relentless persistence.

But as you trudge through the rain-soaked streets, you find solace in the solitude, the emptiness of the night offering a fleeting sense of comfort. You know that admitting your true feelings to Wanda would only lead to heartache, so you choose to keep them locked away, hidden beneath a facade of friendship.

Despite the ache in your chest and the loneliness that threatens to consume you, you cling to the hope that one day, you'll find peace in loving Wanda from afar. For now, all you can do is embrace the rain, letting it wash away the pain as you navigate the stormy seas of unrequited love.

The rain continues to fall, a silent witness to the unspoken heartache that lingers in the air, a poignant reminder of the sacrifices we make in the name of love.

After walking for a long time in the raining streets Y/N go back to the compound, as you enter your clothes clinging to your skin and your hair dripping with rainwater, you feel a sense of exhaustion wash over you. Despite the late hour and the weariness that weighs heavy on your shoulders, you can't shake the feeling of unease that gnaws at your gut.

Dragging yourself towards the kitchen, you hope to find some semblance of comfort in the familiar surroundings of the Avengers' home. But as you approach the entrance, your heart clenches painfully in your chest at the sight that greets you.

There, standing in the warm glow of the kitchen lights, is Wanda, her laughter ringing out like music in the stillness of the night. But it's not her laughter that catches your attention, it's the way she's leaning in close to Vision, their bodies almost touching as they engage in animated conversation.

A pang of jealousy shoots through you like a bolt of lightning, your breath catching in your throat as you watch them interact. The intimacy between them is palpable, a stark contrast to the platonic bond you share with Wanda, and it only serves to deepen the ache in your heart.

For a moment, you're frozen in place, unable to tear your eyes away from the scene unfolding before you. Every word they exchange feels like a dagger to your heart, a painful reminder of the love that will forever be out of reach.

But as the reality of the situation sinks in, you realize that you can't bear to witness their closeness any longer. With a heavy sigh, you turn away, retreating into the shadows of the compound, your heart heavy with sorrow.

As you make your way to your room, the sound of their laughter echoing in your ears, you can't help but wonder if there will ever come a day when you can look at Wanda and Vision together without feeling the sting of your broken heart.

_______________________________________________

As the Avengers embark on a mission, Y/N finds herself engulfed in a whirlwind of emotions. The weight of their unrequited love for Wanda weighs heavy on their heart, threatening to consume them with each passing second, minute and day.

As the chaos of battle unfolds, Y/N's heart races with a mixture of fear, hurt and desperation. Amidst the chaos of battle, Y/N's thoughts are a jumbled mess, her focus fractured by the relentless barrage of her own inner turmoil. She struggles to keep up with their teammates, her mind constantly drifting back to Wanda and the pain that her presence brings.

In a moment she watches in horror as Vision, the object of Wanda's affections, finds himself in mortal peril. Despite the agony of her rejected love for Wanda, a fierce determination takes hold of Y/N as she rushes to his aid.

Ignoring the danger that surrounds her, Y/N throws herself into the fray, determined to shield Vision from harm at any cost. With every blow she takes, her love for Wanda burns bright in her heart, driving her forward with an intensity she never knew she possessed.

But as the battle reaches its climax, Y/N finds herself facing down an enemy she cannot defeat. With a sense of grim resignation, she gets ready to make the ultimate sacrifice, knowing that it may be the only way to save Vision and the rest of the team.

In a moment of selfless bravery, Y/N throws herself in front of Vision, taking the full force of the enemy's attack. Pain courses through her body like fire, but amidst the agony, she feels a sense of peace knowing that she has protected the one Wanda loves most.

As Y/N lie on the ground, her strength fading with each passing moment, she hears Wanda's anguished cries as she rushes to Y/N's side. Tears blur your vision as you look up at her, your voice barely a whisper as you speak the words that have been weighing heavy on your heart.

"You love him, don't you?" you say, your voice filled with a mixture of sadness and resignation. "I'll do everything to make you happy even if it means giving my life for the person you love, even if that person isn't me"

As Y/N lies in Wanda's arms, their strength waning with each passing moment, she can feel the weight of Wanda's guilt pressing down on her like a leaden blanket. Through the haze of pain and exhaustion, she can see the torment etched on Wanda's face, the anguish in her eyes mirroring the turmoil of her soul.

"Why did you do this?" Wanda whispers, her voice trembling with emotion. "Why would you sacrifice yourself for me, for him?"

Y/N's smile is bittersweet as she gaze up at Wanda, her heart heavy with the knowledge of the pain they have caused. "Because I love you," you reply softly, your words a whispered confession borne of a love that knows no bounds.

Wanda's breath catches in her throat at the sincerity in your voice, her heart breaking anew at the realization of the depth of their feelings. She cradles you closer to her chest, her fingers trembling as she brushes away the tears that stain your cheeks.

"But why?" she whispers, her voice choked with tears. "Why would you give up everything for someone who can never love you back?"

Your smile falters for a moment as you struggle to find the words to explain the unexplainable. But then, as you feel the physical pain of your sacrifice gnawing at your body, you feel the relief of your emotional pain fill your broken heart.

"Because," you whisper, your voice barely a whisper against the backdrop of chaos and despair. "Because for just a moment, I could be the hero you needed, even if it meant sacrificing everything I had."

And with those final words, Y/N's smile fades, her eyes fluttering closed as she surrender to the darkness that threatens to consume her. But even as she slips away, she feels a sense of peace, knowing that she has finally found release from the burden of the unrequited love that has haunted her for so long.

And as Wanda holds you close, her heart heavy with grief and regret, she knows that she will carry the weight of Y/N's sacrifice with her for the rest of her days, a constant reminder of the love that was given so freely, even in the face of impossible odds.

[darkacademicvibes]

Don't Go, But Don't Come Back Either

Luke Castellan x Female!reader angst

Nothing but pain, beware. I am sorry for this. I cried writing it.

You stared at Annabeth for a long moment, your arms had fallen to your sides as soon as she had finished, Percy standing a few feet behind her, hands fiddling with his pen, that he seemed to have some weird attachment to.

The dishes you'd been holding were cracked, shattered across the ground at your feet.

"You're lying" you breathe, choked, and panicked. "You're lying, you're lying Annabeth, Luke wouldn't do tha- my Luke? No, he- he wouldn't betray camp like that" you insist. "He loves camp, he loves you- he loves me, he just wouldn't" you try to sound sure, but it's more of a plead, and it's clear to the three of you.

Annabeth reaches for you, and you stumble away, tears blurring your vision as you turn and run, heading towards the Hermes cabin as fast as your legs could go. They don't follow. A part of you decides that it hurts.

You make your way to the back, the dejected faces of the Hermes cabin making way for you. Luke's bed is messy, how he usually left it, half-heartedly thrown together, his camp necklace tucked under his pillow, his stuff left around it. It looks like he had simply gone on a day-long quest to gather information, or head into the city for groceries like some are every month, not like he had abandoned you. Betrayed you. Abandoned everyone. Betrayed everyone.

It still looked like it belonged to the Luke you knew, the Luke you love, who loves you. You sit on his bed, crying into your hands, embarrassed and hurt and angry.

One of his half brothers sits beside you, pulling you into a gentle hug. "You can stay, y/n, you're like family too, a year and a half doesn't just go away" he assures you. You sniffle, "doesn't it?" You ask softly, "where is he, if you're right? Why did he leave us?" Some part of you hopes it's a sick joke, and a worse part is glad it isn't, because you could never forgive him if it was, and you don't know if you could forgive him for what it is.

So you lose him either way.

You already have.

A few of the other Hermes kids sit with you, some crying, some not. But you allow them.

It takes a very long while before they all seem to wander away, until one of his half sisters place Luke's camp necklace in your palm, alongside the picture of you and Luke your boyfriend had kept under his pillow as well.

"He really loves you, I saw him looking at it every night" she whispers softly, placing a simple, handmade, promise ring into the palm of your hand, atop the picture, beside his camp necklace. "He asked me to make sure you got it if anything happened to him one day" she admits in a small voice, making her way out of the cabin as you stare at the things in your hands.

You slip the ring onto your left hand, tie the necklace around your neck, and fold the picture to hide his face.

And then you kick off your shoes, and curl up in what used to be Luke's bed, cold, and without Luke to keep you warm, heart heavy and aching with the weight of memories that now mean nothing.

"You know I'd never leave you, I love you, I'm gonna marry you one day." Luke grins.

"Oh yeah?" You laugh teasingly.

"Yeah" he hums, pulling you closer as you curl up in his bed. You melt into him, easily falling asleep. You've never felt as loved as you do when you're with him, and you never want it to end.

[justabrunettewhowrites-stuff]

'Fragments Of A Broken Heart'

Clarisse La Rue x DaughterOfApollo!Reader

WARNINGS!!:Angst,mentions of death,actual death,sad ending,r!dies.

Basically reader dies during the battle of Manhattan and Clarisse tries - but can't cope with it.

A/N:For the record,Idk what gave me the impression I can write angst but here we are.Another quick drabble for you <3

The sun dipped low over the horizon, casting warm hues across Camp Half-Blood as Clarisse La Rue and you,a daughter of Apollo, strolled hand in hand. The air was filled with the joyous laughter of demigods and the distant sounds of swordplay. The serene moment was a rare refuge from the constant battles and impending prophecies.

As you and Clarisse enjoyed a quiet spot near the edge of the camp, a gentle breeze rustled the leaves, carrying with it a sense of tranquility that belied the turmoil within the hearts of the campers. Little did you both know that this tranquility was but a fleeting respite before the storm.

Days later, the foreboding shadows of war darkened the camp. The Battle of Manhattan loomed,and demigods prepared for the ultimate clash against the forces of darkness.You and Clarisse stood side by side, determined to face whatever came your way.

The battle raged on, and the clash of celestial bronze echoed through the streets. Clarisse fought with the fierce strength bestowed upon her by Ares, while you,guided by Apollo's grace,wielded your weapons with a precision that spoke of years of training.

In the midst of the chaos,you and Clarisse briefly locked eyes,a silent promise passing between you.Little did either of you know that it would be a promise that fate had no intention of keeping.

As the battle reached its climax,a monstrous force emerged, threatening to overwhelm the demigods. The odds seemed insurmountable, and yet the campers fought with a tenacity borne of desperation and hope.

Then, as the tide of battle shifted, Clarisse's heart sank. A gut-wrenching scream pierced the air, cutting through the chaos. Her eyes widened with horror as she saw Percy and Annabeth cradling your lifeless form, the color drained from your face.

Time seemed to freeze as Clarisse sprinted towards the scene, her mind unable to comprehend the devastation before her. A wave of disbelief crashed over her, the battlefield turning into a surreal nightmare. Her steps grew heavier with every stride, the weight of impending grief settling upon her shoulders.

Percy and Annabeth looked up, their eyes filled with sorrow, and Clarisse's heart shattered into a million pieces.The world blurred as she dropped to her knees beside you, her hands trembling as they reached out to touch your cold skin. The reality of your absence washed over her like a relentless storm, leaving her breathless.

She wanted to scream,to deny the cruel fate that had torn you away from her.Tears welled up in Clarisse's eyes as she clung to the hope that this was just a nightmare,that she would wake up to find you safe and sound.But the battlefield remained, stained with the echoes of a battle won at a devastating cost.

Clarisse's grief erupted into anguished wails, her cries blending with the cacophony of the battlefield.The demigods around her paused in their mourning to acknowledge the loss, the weight of the tragedy sinking deep into their souls.

As the camp eventually celebrated their hard-fought victory,Clarisse remained at your side, a broken and inconsolable figure. Her shoulders shook with silent sobs, and the world around her blurred as grief threatened to drown her.

In the days that followed, Clarisse became a mere shadow of her former self. The once indomitable warrior now struggled to find purpose without you by her side. The camp, sensing her anguish, gave her space, allowing her to grieve in solitude.

As the days turned to weeks and weeks turned into months, Clarisse struggled to find a new normal.The wound remained open,a constant reminder of what she had lost.

One night, as the sun dipped below the horizon,Clarisse found herself in front of your grave.She clutched a pendant you had given her, a small token of your love, as if it could somehow bridge the gap between the living and the departed.

Clarisse stood in front of the weathered headstone, her gaze fixed on the etched words that spelled out a name she never thought she'd see on a gravestone - Y/N.The air was heavy with the weight of sorrow as she traced the letters with her fingertips, a desperate attempt to connect with the reality she wished was just a cruel nightmare.

"You always had this knack for getting under my skin, always pushing my buttons," Clarisse muttered, her voice barely audible above the soft rustle of leaves in the wind. "But damn it, you made me feel things I never thought I could." she traced her fingers along the name etched onto the grave,before speaking again.

"I miss you so damn much," she whispered, her voice barely audible.The weight of your absence pressed on her chest, and she longed to hear your voice, to feel your touch one more time.

In the quiet moments of solitude, Clarisse clung to the memories of your laughter, your touch, and the warmth of your love. The absence of your presence gnawed at her, a relentless ache that refused to be quelled.Nights became an unending stream of sleepless torment as she replayed the haunting image of your lifeless body over and over.

"I wanted to run to you, to scream your name, but the chaos of battle held me back. And then, just like that, you were gone," Clarisse's voice wavered, a sob escaping her lips. "I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye."

"...I can't do this without you,I can't," she whispered into the void, her voice a raw plea to the cosmos. The stars remained silent witnesses to her grief, offering no solace.

"I should've protected you. It's my fault," she whispered to the night sky, her words carried away by the wind.The guilt gnawed at her, consuming her from the inside. The realization that she couldn't save you haunted her every waking moment.Clarisse's once fiery spirit flickered like a dying flame.The camp, once vibrant with life, now bore the scars of a battle that extended beyond the physical realm.

"I miss you every damn day. I miss your annoying jokes, your stubbornness, and even your infuriating smiles. I miss the warmth of your presence, the way you made me feel alive," she admitted, her voice cracking.

In that moment of vulnerability, surrounded by the echoes of your love, Clarisse allowed herself to break. The raw anguish within her spilled out in heart-wrenching sobs, each cry carrying the weight of a love lost and a future stolen.

"...Why did you have to leave me? Why did you have to go and leave me behind?" she cried out, the anguish in her voice echoing through the empty graveyard.

But she was always wondering a single thinf:Were you watching over her?

[jaidens]

Stop, You're Losing me - Miles Morales

pairing [s] : miles morales x reader

warning [s] : angst /w no comfort | break ups | crying | classic “me or her” trope | it hurt to write this

a/n [s] : [ for a reminder, miles morales is UNDERAGE. he is not 18. he's a kid. ] my requests are open! i take them through my inbox!

You had reason to be suspicious of Gwen and Miles' friendly relationship. You were beginning to get worried whenever he would leave for days and hours without end. Every time you would ask him about where he was the night or day before, he would shove it off and say “I didn't feel good, does that answer your question?” Slowly, he began to stop answering you and switch the conversation.

At some point, you realized the girl's products had been left in his bedroom. You walked in and found an unfamiliar jacket with the name “Gwen” sewn into it in the pocket. He had defended himself and said "It was the designer baby. Don't get pissed."

You sat on endless nights staring at your unreturned calls and ‘Delivered’ messages. A couple of weeks later, you were invited to a campus party for the countless amazing test scores. You texted Miles to see if he would go with you and he texted back a short answer, “I don't think my mom will let me. Sorry.” You were tempted to not go, but when your best friend told you to leave him alone and you would be her date, you happily said yes.

There were gorgeous lights stringed together across the school hallway as you walked to get to the gymnasium where the dance was being held. That's whenever you see your worst nightmare. Gwen and Miles talking against one of the walls. The beautiful blonde girl twisted her hair into her fingers, staring into Miles’ eyes.

“Oh no this bitch didn't!” Your best friend exclaimed. You walked up to him, tapping him on the shoulder. The black and white tux was perfectly tailored and ironed. This wasn't a “last minute call” he had done weeks before. “So, your mom let you go?”

You see his face drop. He had been caught. His hand fell to the back of his head, a nervous action he did in uncomfortable situations. You see the way Gwen shifts away from the situation, telling Miles she was getting drinks. You tried to keep your head up, you weren't gonna let him ruin your night.

“Baby. You swear I was gonna text you.” Miles lets out after a few seconds of him not responding to you. You take your bottom lip between your teeth, biting it anxiously. “Oh yeah definitely. While you're flirting with Gwen.” He drops open his mouth after you let out the accusation. “Yout isn't like that! You have no idea about me and Gwen.”

You scoff and look down. “Do I even know about my boyfriend?” The words drop with venom. He knows you're right, the secrets are slowly being dug up from the piles of dirt Miles has tried to cover them up with. “You know that you've lied to me. But you do not get to come in here and freak out at me!” Now it's your turn to drop your jaw. Miles begins to get angry. His nostrils flare and his fists ball up.

“Are you cheating on me?” Yout comes out in a blow. The most dangerous words to leave in someone's mouth. An accusation that can leave years of damage dropped like a bomb on Miles. “No, I'm not, baby.” You shake your head at his audacity. The way he stares at Gwen in a conversation about your relationship.

“You can't even take your eyes off her." You say, the tears welling in your eyes, threatening to drop at any moment and ruin your perfectly applied makeup. Miles stares at you in disbelief. "You cannot just walk in here and accuse me of cheating on you. That's not what a girlfriend does." You take a deep breath and try to stay composed.

You can feel the anger bubbling up inside, but you know that lashing out won't do any good. You take a step back and silently walk away, the tears streaming down your face. He follows you through the double door and into the hallway. He reaches out to touch you, but you quickly dodge his hand. You look him in the eyes, and with a trembling voice, you say, "You're done." You want to yell at him, tell him to stop. He stares at you, his expression unreadable. You turn away, tears still streaming down your face. "Wait," you hear him speak. "Let me explain."

You don't let him explain; you get in his face and ask him. "Me or her?" He averts his gaze and pauses. His silence speaks. His answer is final: "Her." You take a deep breath and walk away. You take a deep breath, and without waiting for an answer, you turn around and walk away. He calls after you once more. You hear it four times before you turn around. "What about it Miles?"

"You didn't know you were coming to the party. You told Gwen to come and she came. We're just friends, you swear." You stare at him, his eyes rapidly trying to decipher the reaction displayed on your face. "Yet, you still chose her." He took a step back, the color draining from his face. He opened his mouth to respond but nothing came out. He shook his head slowly and walked away. "I was the best thing at that goddamned party! You did everything to make you love me again. You'll always choose her, won't you?" You watched him walk away, my heart aching.

All the memories of us flooded my mind and you couldn't bear it anymore. You wanted to run after him and tell him you still loved him, but it was too late. You are always too late. Too late for him. Too late for him to love you the way you loved him. "Do something, Miles," you choked out, your voice trembling with emotion. "Say something, anything. You can't see everything we had slipping away like this!"

You stood there, motionless, my throat tight, tears streaming down my cheeks. He had already gone far away from me, and you knew that You would never be able to reach him again. You had lost him forever. You felt like You had done everything You could to try and make him stay, to make him see how much You loved him, but in the end, he had decided that he wanted to leave.

At that moment, You realized that You could not control how he felt. You could only control my actions, and You had to accept that You had done all You could and it still wasn’t enough. You needed to learn to let go, accept what had happened, and move on. Even though it was hard, you had to find a way to pick up the pieces and start over. You had to learn to find peace and happiness in life without him.

He had lost you and he was never getting you back. You wanted to let go of the pain and find a way to heal. You knew that you had to find a way to forgive yourself and forgive him before you could move forward. You had to learn to be strong and take control of your own life.

[beabidobi]

𝐓𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐈𝐭

P5 (last) - “i sit and watch you.”

P4 - “but you tolerate it.”

pairing: f!reader x miguel o’hara

content warnings: angst, post breakup, no happy ending, miguel kinda stalking you (but not creepily yk?)

word count: 477

authors note: thank you all so much for the support, I hope you enjoyed this small series <3

It’d been almost seven months since you and Miguel broke up and seven months since you’d been on a date. That’s why you were so jittery on your way to dinner with a colleague who asked you out. After the taxi leaves, you enter the restaurant and spot the familiar face. He waves you over and you sit across from him, smiling and trading greetings before ordering.

The night was going by fairly quickly, you were having fun and it definitely wasn’t going as bad as you thought it would having associated this place with Miguel. After an hour, you’d both eaten and waiting for a dessert menu while talking about your interests. You both enjoyed the same movies, books and music; as if you were a perfect match, laughing and discussing until another hour flew by.

Miguel O’Hara could recognise the back of you from anywhere. So when he’s on his way home from HQ, swinging from building to building and he spots an awfully familiar woman stepping out of a taxi in front of the same restaurant he used to take you, he has to stop in his tracks, almost bashing into a wall.

He perches himself onto a roof across the street and looks down into the large transparent windows and sure enough, there you were sat at a booth across from some guy. A guy Miguel currently wanted to gut like a fish. But the way you were laughing. The way your face lit up as if this guy had told the funniest joke in the world. You used to look at him like that at the good times of your relationship, until those looks turned into sadness and disappointment.

Don’t get me wrong, he still wanted to kill the man across from you in unimaginable ways, but he couldn’t help thinking how much happier you looked. All he wanted was you to be happy, and of course he knew it couldn’t be with him.

He must have been there for almost fifteen minutes, staring at you and your companion, before his watch pings and Lyla pops up at his side reporting a nearby shop robbery. Taking one more look at you, he sighs and retreats from the roof edge.

You weren’t sure if you’d gone insane or your brain was playing some horrible trick on you. Because you could’ve sworn you’d seen the flash of Miguel’s holographic suit from the corner of your eye on a roof nearby. Obviously it was the latter, as your brain loved to mess with you, reminding you of Miguel the minute you were having fun.

“Y/n? You okay?” Your colleague Nate asked when he saw the way your face paled slightly while looking outside. “Are you feeling unwell?”

Snapping out of your delusion, you focus back on him with your best attempt at smile. “I’m good.”

[mindie-arts]

Would you do absolutely anything for your captain?🩸👒

[arminsumi]

OUR LAST SUMMER.

五夏 ⋅ reader

PART OF THE 2k SPECIAL: ur fave duos!!

NOTE: yuh this hurt to write 🥹 was solely inspired by that one abba song i'm ngl i listened to it one night and related it to satosugu and cried like a bitch

SUMMARY — You, Suguru and Satoru shared one summer of bliss before everything fell apart

WARNINGS — fluff to angst 👍, love triangle, i think it's gn reader but lmk if there's something not gn thank u!!

WORDCOUNT ≈ 1k

PLAY ME ♪ Our Last Summer

🍒 𝐉𝐚𝐲 ⋅ 𝐑𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬/𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐭 !

It had been a blisteringly hot summer. Sweat beaded at Suguru’s forehead. The sun forced Satoru’s eyes into a perpetual squint. And you took shelter in the shade of a palm tree – the two boys met you there, when they too decided to take shelter in the shade. The chemistry between you three was explosive, truly chemical; that one of a kind, once in a lifetime kind of friendship that blooms instantly like a timelapse of a flower, that artists and poets try their hand at capturing but mostly fail.

Beach walks were impossible at midday – the sand was so hot that it burned the soles of your feet. If you were riskily treading barefoot, then the boys would take turns carrying you. Satoru carried you bridal style. Suguru carried you on his back. The prior liked to pretend that he was going to throw you into the ocean (and he did a few times…) and the latter liked to steal romantic glances at you.

Come night, you three crammed together in one hotel room. Conversations, debates, arguments, flirting… those all easily carried past the midnight hour. Satoru was the first to pass out, but Suguru being the insomniac of the group managed to stay awake even longer with you. Usually, you fell asleep in the middle of expressing a thought to Suguru, and then woke up the next morning to two bleary blue eyes blinking awake on your left and abyssal black eyes blinking awake on your right. Satoru rolled on top of you and refused to let you leave bed. Suguru smiled and told him to stop crushing you to death.

Breakfasts were met with late attendance – thanks to Satoru taking his sweet time in the bathroom getting ready. Plates piled and spilled with hotel buffet food; Satoru’s plate consisted solely of sweet pastries. The custard Danishes were his favourite. The three of you broke down laughing at your inside joke about him being the custard Danish robber; the three of you couldn’t catch your breaths from how hard you laughed at your own stupid jokes. “He’s at it again!” Suguru snorted, body falling into yours, eyes reduced to strips of pure joy.

Butterflies liked Suguru for some reason. It was awful for him – he was terrified of butterflies, they really creeped him out. During walks around Okinawa, you struggled to keep up with the two giants; Satoru never missed a beat when walking in sync with his best friend. And he also never missed the opportunity to pick on your slowness or size. Suguru would patch up your bruised ego with a well-timed compliment.

When your holiday in Okinawa was drawing to a close, you three decided to cram as much exploration as possible into those three last days. Pulling all-nighters, stargazing, joking around, sharing secrets, kissing as friends until those kisses became something more. The final day of your holiday was spent ascending a hill that overlooked the glittering beaches. Such a picturesque view. One you didn’t dare to capture in a photograph, because that felt disrespectful. It was a beautiful landscape that deserved to live only in the rich world of your memories.

On that grassy hill, in that briny wind, you three thought that the present moment would never end. You held hands. You kissed. Your hands felt warm. Your lips felt tingly. They both looked at you meaningfully.

“Come back to Jujutsu High with us.” You didn’t hesitate to agree, a sparkle in your eyes. No one in your life had ever accepted you as a sorcerer until they came along.

Summer ended…

And the school year began.

In the far future, when you and Satoru would reminisce together as old Jujutsu High teachers to your students, you two would summarize your high school days with very specific memories.

“Remember when we always got caught making out in the classroom, and Yaga chased us down the corridors?”

“ – and we’d loiter around the vending machines. You know, Yuji, Satoru had such a bad sweet tooth even back then. And! He! Stole! My! Lunches! He was a menace!! Don’t deny it, Satoru.”

“What I stole from you in food I repaid in saving your ass. Remember when you almost died? No joke, Megumi, Y/n almost died during that Alleyway Incident – you know that one we talked about? Yeah, that was Y/n. Suguru and I were stronger than Y/n so we always helped – heyyy! I’m just telling the truth!”

“Who was Suguru?”

The smiles dropped from yours and Satoru’s faces. The color drained out of them, too. Just one little name, six little letters, devastated the atmosphere. That’s when the reminiscing ceased abruptly, and Satoru stood up and excused himself to a quiet place. You and him never cried together, only separately – except for on that day.

That day was the first and only day you and Satoru broke down sobbing into each other. Snot dribbled out of your noses. Your eyes puffed up. Your faces felt tightened with the dried tears.

“Suguru, don’t leave. Come back with us to Jujutsu High, we can sort all of this out.”

But he turned and walked away from you and Satoru, disappearing into the crowd of people. You yelled so loudly that you hurt your lungs, “Did our last summer mean nothing to you! What about the memories we’ve made at school together?! Suguru, don’t you walk away from us! Don’t – leave us behind, S-Suguru did it all mean nothing to you?!”

Just like that, three reduced to two. Just you and Satoru. Sat on the steps in heavy, impenetrable silence. Faces planted into your palms. Back curved because you had no energy to sit up straight after such an exhausting cry. You never thought you’d look into Satoru’s eyes and see no light. Over the years, he lightened up – especially when he became a teacher. But you could tell he masked his true expression; a deadpan. The real emotions were forcefully forgotten.

[maxiroff]

I guess your not who I thought you were ~Natasha Romanoff

Summary: Reader is bullied in school and Natasha asks her to tutor her. They fall in love but is their relationship really as good as reader thinks and what happens when Natasha is put in the spot?

Ps. It’s a shit summery but it will have to do.

Paring: Popular Natasha x bullied reader

Words : 1756

Warnings: ANGST , bullying- mentally and a bit physical, self hatred, eating disorder, talks of suicide, self harm, no happy ending

Note: This is my firs time writing angst so it’s not that good and it’s kinda rushed. And again English is not my first language so there may be errors and I haven’t proofread it.

It started with you tutoring her in math and in english. You were the nerdy outcast that nobody wanted to be seen around with. You’ve been bullied since you can remember and while you tried not to let the comments get to you, sometimes they just do.

“God you're so fat you should just stop eating.”

So you did. And it worked for a while, until it didn't. Every time you stepped on the scale the numbers seem to go up instead of down and your clothes still seem to sit too tight on your body. As the weeks progressed you got thinner and thinner but it was in vain, the comments didn't seem to stop.

“You could at least put on makeup, it's no wonder no one wants you.”

So you did. You bought everything your money would allow, foundation, concealer, mascara, contour, a brow pencil and blush. But it didn't matter, you knew that whatever you did it would still be in vain. You would still be the joke of the school. Everyday you hid behind the mask on your face and every time you looked in the mirror as tears streamed down your face you could see how you were slowly fading away.

God why could you never be enough. There was always something wrong with you and the more people said it the more you believed it.

“You’re such a waste of space, you should kill your self no ne wants you here anyway.”

They said as one of them bumped their shoulder into yours so hard you were pushed into a locker. Your arm ached as you could feel how tears welled up in your eyes. All eyes were on you, laughing as you ran as fast you could out of there. You could taste the saltiness of the tears upon your cheeks as you ran all the way home. It was all a blur but suddenly you were home, standing in the bathroom looking in the mirror. Your mascara smeared over your face as you tried to wipe away your tears. The longer you looked the more flaws you could see and the louder the voices in your head seemed.

“You should do it, you know they’re right.” “Your a disappointment to everyone” “Stop eating your so fat” “KIll youself” “No one wants you here anyway” “Kill yourself, do it”

“Aaahhhhhhhh, stop, stop, stop” You shouted as your knees gave out and you fell hard to the marble floor. Leaning your back against the tub you tucked your knees up to your body making you as small as possible. Resting your head on the top of your knees you finally let yourself let go.

“Please” you whispered as sobbs wrecked your body. You were so tired, so tired. When would it stop, why couldn't they just stop, you never did anything wrong. Maybe they were right, you would be doing everyone a favor anyway. You slowly lifted your head looking through your blurred vision for your razor blades. When you turned your head to the right you saw them laying in the corner of the tub. With shaky hands you slowly picked it up and brought it closer to your face, admiring it for a second.

If you found a big enough vein and made it deep enough maybe it would do the job, maybe. It was as if you were in a trance as you slowly rolled up your sleeves and brought the razor towards your arm. With a deep breath you dragged the blade in a perfectly straight line across your arm. Small pearls of blood slowly started to develop in the wound. One turned into many and the blood started to drip down on your clothes and onto the floor. That's when you seemed to wake up.

“Ahh fuck what did I do, what did I do, what did I do?” You quietly chanted over and over as you wobbly stood up and made your way to the sink. Panik set in the moment you realized the amount of blood you had lost and saw black dots in your vision for a moment. Fumbling with the first aid package in the cabinet above the sink you got out bandaids, bandages and rubbing alcohol.

Your eyes welled up again at the sting from the rubbing alcohol in the wounds blurring your vision once again. Carefully you wrapped your arm with the bandage and secured it with the band aids. Not your finest work but it worked for now. You made your way to your bedroom just wanting to sleep after the shock of what happened.

When you woke up the next day you had a text from an unknown number.

Hey I know this might be weird but I have been failing a few classes and I happen to know that you have really good grades in them and was wondering if you could help me?

-Natasha Romanoff, in your economic class.

That was almost three months ago now. Natasha was known for being the popular girl in school, always has been. You knew it could be a mistake to say yes given that she was also known as one of the school bullies. Which you knew all too well having been at the receiving ends of some of her comments. But what the hell tight, it's not like life could get worse.

And it didn't. In the beginning it was quite awkward but it wasn't that bad. As the weeks progressed you and Nastaha got closer and she asked you out. You almost couldn't believe it but you said yes and it was the best thing that had happened to you. Of course in the beginning of the relationship you were weary of her intentions because of the nature of it. But as time passed you trusted her more and started to open up about your struggles with mental health and your ED. And in return she told you about her insecurities about being out to the school because she was afraid of being treated differently.

You helped each other and you told her it was okay to keep your relationship secret when she asked. Of course it hurt to not be able to hold her hand in school and not being able to walk her to class or kiss in the hallways like everybody else. But if that was the price that came with being with her, it was worth it, she was worth it. Your small but memorable moments were what counted.

For example yesterday it was your guys six month anniversary and when you opened the door for her she stood there waiting for you with a big bouquet of flowers. She also got you your favorite chocolate and she gave you a build-a-bear with a massage saying she loved you build into it. You had set up a romantic dinner for you and put the flowers on the table. Now it was your turn to give her your gift and you were nervous as hell for her reaction.

“Ehh so you know i couldn't really afford anything fancy but i remembered how you said a few weeks ago that you liked more personal stuff. So I made you this necklace, it has both our initials and I have a matching one.” you said as you carefully handed it over to her. You couldn't even look at her because you were afraid of her reaction. The silence was defeating. Why didn't she say anything? Maybe she hated it. Maybe she thought it was ugly, I mean it was home made after all. God this was a bad idea.

“Em you don’t have to wear it-”

“No shut up I’m going to wear it forever, I love it” Your eyes looked up at her shimmering with tears. “Really” You said hopgull.

“Yes really” she put her hand under your chin and kissed your lips softly. “I love you so much my darling. You are the most valuable thing in my life and I’ll wear this as a sign of that.”

You still could not let that memory go as you wandered the halls a few days later.

You knew Natasha said she wanted to keep the relationship private because she wasn't out to the school. And while you knew that might have been true you knew now that she finally was out that the real reason was because she was ashamed. She was ashamed of you. She didn't want to be seen with you. You could hear your own heart crack when you realized that. It hurt but you knew you could get past that because she meant that much to you.

You normally wouldn't talk to her in school, per her request, but right now you didnt care as you got closer to her and her friend group. She had taken off her necklace when she showered at your house and forgot to take it with her so you were just going to give it back. In and out, a quick exchange, barely any words needed.

You could see how her friends sent you weird looks as they realized you were coming in their direction but Nat hadn't noticed you yet.

“Oh look who it is, the freak” they all laughed and Natasha turned towards you. Her eyes immediately widened and you could see the panicked expression spread on her face.

“What the hell do you want?” Came from one of her friends but you just ignored them.

“Emm N-nat you forgot this at home” you said as you slowly inched your hand closer to her showing the necklace. She watched you with a weary expression.

“And why would I want to have that” she said with a serious tone as her friends laughed at her comment and you slowly drew your hand back in shame.

“I would never wear something as ugly as that, it's even uglier than you” this time she laughed along with her friends. Your eyes filled with tears at the humiliation and hurt as you remembered her promise to you when you gave it to her.

“I guess you're not who I thought you were” was the last thing you said as you turned to run away with tears streaming down your face. Throwing the necklace towards a trash can only missing it by an inch making it fall to the floor. How stupid of you to believe she would ever want you as much as you wanted her.

Part 2 here if you want a happy ending instead

[cloudseeker14]

Wistful Dreams (Gojo Satoru x Fem!Reader)

Summary : A good friendship is something that is rare for even the strongest sorcerer in the world to come across. Surely, he'd do anything to keep it, right? Even if his heart was screaming otherwise.

Pairing : Gojo Satoru x Fem!Reader

TW: Angst with sad ending

Gojo Satoru had never doubted himself of being strong. He could bring down entire hordes of curses with just a snap of his fingers, a mere mention of his name would have the enemies of the Jujitsu world trembling with terror.

Yet, when he saw you, with your wild laughter and the way it rang in his ears like the most melodious tune, he felt weakened.

"Toru, you have no idea how bad that date was!" You chuckle, plopping onto the couch "I don't know what Shoko was thinking setting me up with him, the poor dude was straight up trying to worship the very ground I walk on to get in my pants."

Toru, a nickname that only you had shared for him. The sound of it from your lips, how it seemed to bewitch every single sense of his, Satoru wanted to bottle it up just to keep hearing it again and again.

"Oh yeah?" Satoru grabbed a bowl of popcorn and say next to you, grinning "Well, do you know what can be better than some date you can have with any of those dudes?"

"Let me guess, that popcorn you generously have in your hands right now?" You asked, lips curling into smile.

A part of Satoru wanted to scream that it was him. He could be better than any of those idiots you went out to see. Afterall, how could he not be when he knew every single aspect of you as well as the back of his hand?

Would anyone else know all your favourite shows and books? Would they know exactly how you like your tea, the type of bands you enjoy or how to hug you tight while you weep into their shoulder?

"Yeah and this new thriller movie that's been released." Satoru' eyes gleamed with mischeif but the pang in his chest still remained.

You groaned, pressing a hand to your forehead dramatically. "Toru, you know I hate horror!"

The blue eyed man chuckled at your plight. "You can keep whining all you want, but if I say we are watching The Shining, then that's the only damn thing that's going to be playing on the TV tonight."

You rolled your eyes with mock offense and playfully jabbed him in the shoulder, an ordinary routine for you which still succeeded in elciting a deep stirring of longing in Satoru heart.

How would it feel to hold you close, whisper all the frantic thoughts that have been running through his head for years in your ear?

Would your lips taste as sweet as how he imagined them in his dreams?

"You do know that you might be the Jujitsu world's biggest asshole, right?" You leaned over and grabbed some popcorn from Satoru as he grabbed the TV remote, shaking it annoyingly in front of your face.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." Satoru smiled, but there was a strange softness in his expression that went unnoticed to your gaze.

It was for the best that you didn't notice because Satoru knew, deep down in the icy depths of his pride and arrogance that was bellowing at him to just tell you, that you deserved a man better than him.

You deserved someone who could give all their time to you. Someone who would usher you away from all the dangers of the world of curses, not someone like him whose very companionship would mean facing countless trials with curses determined to find the weakness of the greatest Jujitsu sorcerer.

By just being a sorcerer yourself, you came home beaten up every weekend from all the curses out for your blood. Being his would be equivalent to signing a death warrant, you'd never get a moment of peace for your whole life.

Satoru couldn't do that to you.

The movie went on for a few hours and with every scream that escaped your lips from all the blood and gore, each time your arm unknowingly brushed against his own, Satoru had to mentally restrain himself from just kissing you right then and there.

Once the movie was over, Satoru sat with you and listened to your remarks, resting his head on his hand.

"And that scene where blood just spurted from the sink was crazy!" You exclaimed animatedly "I'll admit it, this movie was better than what I expected!"

"Now this is why you should have some trust in me when it comes to movies." Satoru said smugly, adoration filling his soul itself as he drunk in your glee.

He couldn't allow himself to be too close to you, not if it meant endangering your life and health. Just being your friend and a part of your life would be enough if it meant just getting to be around you. Even if every thought in his body protested at the sight of you being set up on dates, though his own mind betrayed himself every night with indulgent fantasies of you, he'd make himself be satisfied with just being your friend.

Gojo Satoru could never have a weakness, especially not one as disadvantageous as a lover.

--

Satoru walked through the campus of Jujtisu High, aimlessly going through his phone after returning from one of his missions. It'd been quite simple and hadn't even succeeding in piquing the tiniest bit of his interest.

"God know why they needed me for something so simple." Gojo muttered to himself and put his phone in the pocket of his pants "I swaer to god, it's almost as if they're trying to keep me-"

All his words fell short, lodging in his throat as he saw a sight that he'd been dreading forever. There you were, stunning as always with your face perfectly framed by the setting sun as you kissed some man deeply, your fingers tangled in the locks of his black hair as you pressed your body against his chest.

Gojo Satoru could only continue watching in horror as the man placed his hands firmly on your hips with such familiarity and pulled you closer. At that moment, Satoru didn't even knew who the hell that man was but he could clearly witness that you both fit against each other like missing pieces of a puzzle.

He saw you pull away, your face flushed and lips pink from the ministrations of your lover as you giggled, not even noticing Satoru's presence in your gaze.

Gojo Satoru, for the first time in his life, walked away. He turned on his heel and continued walking in the opposite direction as the bottom of his lips trembled.

What else should he have expected? Of course you'd have someone in your life, someone who'd make you happy in all the ways he couldn't.

He knew that this had been inevitable, but goddamnit the tears that were unashamedly welling up in his eyes paid no heed to that fact.

--

There are certain moments in life where one must control the whirlwind of regrets in their heart.

Gojo Satoru could recall experiencing this when you introduced your boyfriend to him, all smiles and laughter. Your lover had firmly shook Satoru's hand, speaking bashfully of how amazing you are.

When you and your boyfriend looked at each other, as much as Satoru cursed the sight before him in his head, he couldn't deny the attraction between the two of you.

One you obviously didn't share for him.

But the day his very strength, his arrogance and pride as a sorcerer died within him and burnt to ashes on a pyre was when he saw you walk down the aisle.

You'd given him the invitation, practically brimming with joy and blissfully unaware of the tumultuous mirage of emotions as his heart and mind engaged in a tense conflict with each other.

Gojo Satoru felt breathless as you walked down the aisle, absolutely radiant in your wedding dress.

Satoru knew you were beautiful, but at that moment with the way your hair was let down, how the dress clutched your curves and the wind which gently made your veil flutter in the wind, he couldn't deny that you were the most stunning woman that could ever grace his eyes.

As you continued walking ahead, a small part of Satoru wanted you to look at him for just an instant. To give him a sign, anything that you suddenly didn't want this. That he could whisk you away even if he could never fully give himself to you.

But your gaze was far ahead, eyes only for the man soon to be your husband and in all your awe, you didn't even spare a single second for Gojo Satoru.

Satoru's hands trembled as he forced himself to stare at the ground, unable to look any longer. If gods did exist in this world of vicious curses, Satoru was helplessly praying to ones he'd never believed in just for all this to turn out to be a figment of his imagination.

"Y/N, do you take this man as your husband and swear to stay by his side during sickness and health, during all the moments of happiness and sadness that life will have to offer the both of you?"

Satoru forced himself to look up and he could swear that he could feel his heart shatter like glass thrown forcefully against a pavement once he saw you nod your head, tears of joy running down your face. "Yes, of course I do." You clasped your hands, eyes brimming with excitement of the prospects that awaited you in the future.

Unbeknownst to you, there was someone else who was crying in the altar with you. It wasn't your husband, who instead chose to gently caress your face and wipe away your tears with his rough, calloused hand. It wasnt your mother or any of your family members, who were all rather elated at witnessing you during this moment.

It was Gojo Satoru, tears streaming down his face as he bit down the inside of his cheek to choke down the sobs that threatened to spill from his lips. Thankfully, no one noticed him. How could they, when you could simply steal everyone's breath away with a simple flick of your hand?

"Does anyone have any objections?" The priest asked and all the guests smiled cheekily, this was just a mere formality that no one ever adhered to.

But for Satoru, those words seemed to awaken a sense of courage he didn't even know existed to him. Proclamations of love and longing, of how he knew that he could make you happy made its way to the tip of his tongue, only to crumble away as he saw your expression of delight as you gazed into the eyes of the man you loved.

Gojo Satoru was a man of many spades, he was nonchalant, full of himself and always determined to get what he wants.

But he couldn't bring himself to be the villain of your love story, not if it meant seeing that smile disappear from your face on your special day.

"Then I pronounce you husband and wife!" The priest proclaimed, the chance for Satoru to open the dam of emotions that had been welling up within him for years vanishing with just those simple words.

Satoru's eyes never left your face as your husband wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you close. Even then, Satoru couldnt let go of the countless 'what ifs' in his head.

What if he'd been selfish and allowed himself to love you? Would he have been the one to be by your side as your husband instead? Would he have been given the honor of waking up to you each morning and falling asleep with you in his arms? Would the two of you have grown old together after having stepped away from the chaos of the Jujitsu world?

A part of him died inside as your gently cupped your husband's face and pressed your lips against his, hues of pink subtly dusting over your cheeks.

You and your husband pulled apart and you squealed as you were lifted into the sky by his strong arms.

At that instant, a cruel realisation dawned upon Satoru.

This was his price for being the strongest, as much as he devoted himself to the entire Jujtisu world, the few people who knew him beyond just the facade of the cocky sorcerer would keep being snatched away from him by fate.

A lonely life was all that awaited him and the words that he desperately wanted to scream would remain locked within the closure of his heart.

I love you.

Those words would never be heard, instead they would only be replaying in his head for nights to come as he'd toss and turn at the thought of you enjoying a sweet life with another man, even though all he wanted was to be the one for you.

There'd be nights where he'd curse the entirely of Jujitsu, detesting his destiny that had been set in stone from the instant he'd been born.

But all of that meant nothing when he saw how you smiled, exactly like the way which had enchanted him when the two of you had first met as you walked up to him, arm in arm with your husband.

And in that fleeting moment, Gojo Satoru smiled back wryly, the gesture a broken attempt at trying to brush aside the throbbing of his aching heart.

"Go on lovebirds, dont keep all the guests waiting!" Satoru chuckled weakly, motioning for you to go ahead, letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding as you grinned and rushed over to your mother.

As he continued to watch you for the rest of the night, the alcohol his sole companion for the event, Satoru supposed the old stories he had read as a kid were right.

The human heart was a fickle thing, always longing for the things it simply cannot have the most.

And you, you would be his one weakness.

The only thing he'd still keep running back to, a curse and blessing all in one.

[notelcol]

Loss.

TW: murder, death

A tragic Wriothesley story.

Mildly edited, apologies for mistakes🫶

——-

You had been married to Wriothesley for quite some time. You both met in the Fortress when you were serving time. When Wriothesley decided to take over administration and become the Duke, you thought he was mad. But as your sentence drew closer to an end, the more you didn’t want to leave. He truly was making the Fortress a better place, and anywhere he was, was where you wanted to be. So when the time came, you decided to stay down in the Fortress with him. You took a job in the cafeteria and the two of you began your new life together with the promise of forever. For years the Fortress of Meropide ran in perfect harmony; or at least as close to that as a prison could get. But that all changed when a new group of inmates arrived. Usually people are quite rowdy and aggressive when they first arrive, but they soon settle down once they get into a routine and learn that this place was safe. This group however, seemed to escalate every day. It began as simple peacocking, trying to prove they weren’t to be messed with. But by the end of their first month the were mugging other inmates for coupons and leaving them in the infirmary for days. The ring leader was a man called Jon, he was particularly angry at the world and unfortunately a very large, strong man. Recently there had been a rumour that he was planning something against Wriothesley in an attempt to take over the prison. The very idea put a chill up your spine.

You had just finished clearing up after the cafeterias closing time at lights out. You made sure to lock up all the utensils and cutlery, as per your safety mandate, before heading off to have tea with your husband in his office. The Fortress was quiet and dark, your footsteps echoing through the expanse. It was always eerie at lights out. You stood in the elevator waiting for the door to close, when you heard heavy hurried footsteps racing towards you. The door started to close but they managed to bust in at the last second. You let out a scream, their dramatic entrance gave you quite the shock.

“Which way is this elevator set to go?!” The lady grabbed your shoulders as she frantically shouted. You recognised her as Lourvine, one of Wriothesley’s researchers.

“Down.” You answered her slowly while trying to take a step back from her. “I’m on my way to the Duke’s office.” Your words caused Lourvine to curse before pressing the ‘shut down’ button on the elevator.

“Hey!” You furrowed your brows. “What are you doing?!” You looked at her incredulously.

“You are in danger.” The serious look on her face made you afraid. You nodded for her to continue.

“Jon and his men are waiting for you down there. I expect they have a few men at the entrance above too, just in case.” You took in her words carefully and swallowed nervously before speaking.

“So what do you propose we do?” You asked her, hoping she had an idea. But instead of confidently laying out a plan, she sighed and admitted the worst.

“I don’t know. I had planned to catch you before you got on and hide you somewhere…now my only plan is to stay in the elevator until the Duke gets concerned and comes looking.” Lourvine suddenly looked less serious and more like the terrified young woman that she was.

You had been sitting in the shut down elevator for a few minutes, each second felt more excruciating than the last. You and Lourvine sat in silence, the only sound was two thumping hearts. That was when the clanging began. It started quietly, in the distance, but it seemed to get closer and louder until it became a thump on the roof of the elevator. You looked to Lourvine, both your eyes shook in fear. Then the roof panel was removed and the perpetrator dropped in. You prayed to every archon that it was Wriothesley. But the moment you saw the scuffed brown shoes you knew your hoped were dashed. The sneering face of Jon made you and Lourvine jump to your feet. She immediately pushed you behind her and your eyes began to well up. Not because you were terrified, which you were, but because of how Lourvine was so loyal to you and your husband that she would put her life on the line to keep you safe.

“I’ve been waiting for you. You’re certainly a slippery aren’t you.” He looked past Lourvine and straight into your eyes.

“I won’t let you hurt her!” She was determined to keep you alive.

“Now, now little bird. Get out of my way or I’ll have to clip your wings.” He spoke venomously. Lourvine stood her ground and did not even flinch when he stroked her cheek. You knew she was scared, you could feel her shaking violently as she held you behind her. Jon sighed before pulling out a gun. Where did he get that?! You barely had time to process before the shot rang out and Lourvine dropped like a sack of sunsettias. Horror filled your face as you fell to her side. Jon didn’t give you the chance to comfort her in her final moments, instead he grabbed your hair and pulled you up to him and away from her. He grinned at you and held the gun to your head. You closed your eyes and thought of your life. You always imagined you would die of old age, hand in hand with Wriothesley. Your future was being stolen from you. No more late night teas gossiping about the inmates. No more watching him and Sigewinne’s beautiful friendship. No more anything. Your spiralling thoughts were interrupted by another thud on the elevator roof.

“Get away from her.” The familiar voice of your husband relaxed you a minuscule amount. You used Jons momentary distraction to duck your head away from the gun and try to get closer to Wriothesley. BANG! Another shot rang out, but you reached Wriothesley’s arms so that didn’t matter to you. He pushed you behind him, making you think of Lourvine. Your heart cracked a little more as you thought of her bravery tonight. The pain almost felt real. Wait. It was real. You were bleeding. You looked at the back of Wriothesley’s head, wanting to take in his silhouette one last time. He was arguing with Jon, but their words had little sound as you dropped to the ground. Your husband gasped and instantly crouched to hold your face, the other taking your hand. As much as you wanted to spend your last breath holding his hand, your dropped it to shakily point behind him. Jon was smiling maniacally, pointing the gun at Wriothesley. It was muffled but you could hear him shouting at the Duke to face him. A growl left your husband as he slowly turned around. The rage of losing a dear and loyal friend, and possibly his beloved wife started to take over. The corners of your vision began to fade as you watched Wriothesley grab Jons shooting arm. You were happy to spend your last moments looking at your love. You imagined him holding you close to his chest like you knew in your heart he wished he could do. The struggle in front of became a dark blur as you closed your eyes, fading away to the sound of a final shot

When you awoke, it was cold. You squinted at the bright lights of the infirmary. Sigewinne was instantly at your side, leaving you wondering why your husband wasn’t the one greeting you. You shot up, resulting in your would feeling like it was going to tear open. Sigewinne gently shushed your groans and helped you lay back down.

“It’s okay. You’re safe now.” Her voice could always soothe you. Once your pain had subsided you nervously asked her the burning question.

“Where is Wriothesley?” You watched as Sigewinne’s gaze moved to the floor.

“The Duke…he was supposed to wait for Clorinde to come back him up. But he couldn’t wait for her. By the time she arrived….” Sigewinne stopped. She needed to collect herself before continuing. “When Clorinde arrived, she got there too late. Lourvine was dead, you were unconscious and Wriothesley was taking on Jon alone.” Sigewinne’s eyes returned to your own. “Her entry into the elevator caused Jon to panic and shoot. Wriothesley…is dead.” And just like that, you wished you had never woken up.

——-

Thank you for reading 🌹

[twstbookclub]

Faded Away

SLIGHT SPOILERS FOR BOOK 7 INCLUDED; THIS IS AN AU. THIS IS SIDE A OF A TWO PART STORY. HERE IS SIDE A.

This is side B.

Inspired by Fade Away by Riley Baron Summary: Childhood friends with Malleus, you were even supposed to marry him. You'd call him your fiancé, but he'd shoot you down with a smile. One day, Maleficia would announce that you would no longer be engaged to Malleus, but you had already decided to renounce that before, so it was okay. For Malleus, after experiencing loss in his life, everything he adored before began to fade away. Pronouns: Gender Neutral POV: 2nd Admin/Writer: Kai⚔️ Tags: Malleus Draconia, Changed fate, Childhood friends to lovers, lovers to strangers, angst with a sad ending, hurt no comfort Word count: 3,961

A/N: … sigh. If someone had told me a year ago that I would write nearly 4,000 words for Malleus Draconia angst, I would've laughed in their face. Despite that, I wrote this for two days and edited it for another two. I fixated on this man for FOUR DAYS nonstop, listening to playlists about falling in love with your comfort character but then saying goodbye, and I am still not done. I am genuinely proud of this work. Out of the 7 years I have been writing fanfiction, I have never been so happy to say this is one of my best works. And I don't really like Malleus like that. Attack me all y'all want, I know book 7 spoilers, and I was his stan(not simp) until I found out the truth and had to take a step BACK. I don't know what I feel about him now, but as a Silver girlie, I need someone to take the pen away from Yana Toboso.

Regardless of my feelings, I am glad I could write this and that the story turned out amazing. As I said, I'm not done, and I have another fic posting as soon as this one drops, so don't stray too far.

On that note, thank you for waiting and reading this long, longer than I would like to admit story. Enjoy.

The horns of this child were small, but the eyes of another child were fascinated at the sight of such a mature boy. The boy’s name was Malleus Draconia, the future King of Briar Valley. You were told that you would become his fiance when you grew up. You could feel your heart instantly pound and become fond of this young royal. You had already known him prior, growing up around the same time, and your families were somewhat close. Still, you couldn’t have imagined being able to marry him later down the line. He was aloof and neutral as a child, speaking to you when you would talk to him and only if he had a response. You loved him that way, anyway. 

“You’re my… fiance?” 

“I am! Don’t worry; I won’t go anywhere if it’s not with you!”

“Hmm… Then I can accept that.”

Growing up as teenagers was slightly different. It took some years, but he would begin to warm up to you. He would smile occasionally and accept the way you would call him “my fiance”, but still turn you down for the time being. Witnessing him become stressed caused a pang of guilt in your heart. Still, you’d quickly dissipate the feeling by messing around and seeing him feel better with your company.

“My fiance should be calm the way he usually is. How can his kingdom stay calm if he is not?”

Malleus would usually stare at you after you said things like that, then respond with, “You’re right… Alright. I will do that, but I’m not your fiance.”

Then, like clockwork, you’d laugh at him before responding, “Okay, okay, Prince Malleus. Whatever you say.”

Now, Malleus finally returned from studying at Night Raven College and settled back into his past routine. It took some months, since now there were new things he needed to learn before he could become king. He would follow without a complaint, though.

He was standing in a throne room, checking on documents and plans for the kingdom. You would simply trot in with your hands behind your back as you would often do, admiring him as your shoes would click against the floor.

“My fiance is working so hard already?” You teased, being playful and wanting to catch his attention.

“I’m not your fiance.” Malleus would say with a concentrated tone, his gruff voice echoing through the large room as the sound of documents being flipped echoed. 

“Right. King Malleus.” You stopped walking to give him a bow and then approached his side. You moved your hand to cling to his arm, but knowing your behavior, he already had an arm out for you.

“Not king either. I haven’t had my coronation yet. Queen Malecifia is planning that as we speak,” Malleus spoke again, then set down the documents and turned to you, his hair slightly swaying with his movement. His green eyes stared down at you, and then he captured a slight smile on his lips. “What is it that you need from me?”

“Nothing. I just wanted to see you and waste your time. I truly hope I am a bother,” you spoke playfully and took one of the loose documents into your hands to read through it. Malleus quickly took the paper before you could get too far into reading it. Right. Kingdom affairs.

Malleus gives you a look before sighing and pulling a chair out. “If I let you touch my horns, could you let me work?” He spoke, moving to sit down beside where you were standing. You grew excited at the opportunity to play with his horns and instantly went quiet to do so. You stood behind him and carefully adjusted his hair while examining every detail of the feature in front of you.

The atmosphere was quiet yet peaceful. Time felt like it was still, pen scratching paper occasionally sounds through the large room. Your hands gently held his horns, caressing them to remind yourself of its sharp and enticing structure.

Memories of childhood played through your mind as you watched him read these documents, soft breaths coming from him as his focus never broke. You did this exact thing all the time with him, especially during his study hours.

“Why do you like my horns so much?” Malleus spoke, suddenly breaking the silence and surprising you out of your trance. You thought about it momentarily, trying to find the right words to explain it, but you couldn't find a single word for how. Instead, you explained it the best you could. 

“Hmm… I don’t know. There’s something about seeing these horns that gives me some reassurance. Relief that I can still be your future beloved.” you answered before fixing his hair again. Messing with him like this felt right. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, being his future partner was something of fate. There were others out there with royal status just like you. Queen Maleficia could’ve replaced or sent you away, but she hadn’t. You were thankful every time you saw his grandmother.

“I see… You’re an odd one,” Malleus spoke softly, a faint breath being heard from him as he felt your hands let go of him. “You let go. Is something the matter?”

Malleus noticed you stayed quiet but didn’t hear you move either. So, he turned around, his breath catching at what he saw. His eyes were met with your side profile, your lips curling into a grin. Your eyes reflected the light like glass, and your hands fell to his shoulders.

“It’s the first snow of the season,” you said, mesmerized by the view. Your quiet voice showed just how enchanted you were. Malleus had an idea of how others felt about the first snow. All he took in from when you explained the moment to him was how special it could be for lovers.

Every time the first snow would fall, he’d watch from the window of his study how you admired the snowflakes as if you’d never seen them before. He watched you do this for years as if it was routine. Hell, it would be weird if he didn’t see you out there. 

Malleus took your wrist and made his way out towards the courtyard. He’s the one taking you out there this time? You could only follow and keep your excitement at bay from his behavior.

Arriving outside, Malleus fixed your winter cape, ensuring you wouldn’t feel too cold. He leaned against a wall as you played and tried to catch the snowflakes. Your smile was as bright as the white sky, and he would just stand there, watching you without a word, but more as if he was in thought. 

You noticed this and took a moment to gather some snow from the ground, putting it behind your back before moving towards him. “Are you alright? You seem to be lost in thought,” you asked, making him snap out of his trance to look at you. 

“I’m fine. I’m simply reminded of my time at the college from seeing all this snow. Why do you a—” 

Crunch.

He sighed, keeping his eyes closed before saying one thing. “... Why?’

Malleus was cut off by the impact of a snowball hitting his face. The icy crystals caused his skin to feel colder than it already was. He wiped the snow off his face as he witnessed you begin to back away. Every step back from you was a step forward for him, and you noticed how he had a straight-faced expression. You laughed nervously and grabbed his wrists, trying to hold him back.

“I just wanted to get your attention, Malleus!” You tried to explain, yelping when he would tower over you, but you would only find it all amusing. Malleus would chuckle, grabbing and throwing snow at you, not aiming for your face like you had done to him. 

This went on for a few minutes, enjoying the back-and-forth attacks, while the snow piled onto the ground through the mid-winter day. At one point, Malleus would grab you by the waist to keep you from straying too far away from him. The gesture felt nice, but also intimate as he’d only do this to stop you from being clumsy.

You held onto his arms and stepped back slowly, moving towards a stone pillar, while your eyes didn’t leave him. You glanced between his eyes, lips, and the horns you loved seeing. Even after he held you against the cold stone, there wasn’t anything to worry about, but him.

You felt nervous while giving his arms a light squeeze, and he carefully brushed his cold fingertips against your cheek, making you relax with your head leaning into his slight touch. Soon, his hand cupped your cheek to tilt your head, keeping you in place this time.

Finally, your eyes stayed on his lips. His green eyes admired your features to remember them down to the last detail. Your mingled breaths hit each other’s faces from the close proximity, then Malleus leaned close, his lips inching closer to yours.

It was cut short, though. You turned to the sound of someone clearing their throat, but your body would stop what it was doing and let go of Malleus, instantly bowing at the sight of a familiar lady.

Malleus would turn around next. His breathing was slightly uneven from getting caught in the act, but he’d still bow and greet the woman in the courtyard with them.

“Queen Maleficia, what brings you out here during this weather?” Malleus began first, slowly coming up with you to stand correctly.

“It is good to see you, Queen Maleficia.” You followed after, giving Malleus’s grandmother a warm smile.

“Not much, my dear. I’m glad to see you taking a break,” Maleficia returned the greeting and gave a smile as well. She’d soon drop that expression, though. “I need to speak to you about something important.”

Your body would tense up again, and you took that as a cue to leave them alone, so you bowed and took a step forward. “I’ll leave you be, then—”

“You aren’t going anywhere. You are part of this too.” Maleficia spoke earnestly, and she rarely had to speak in such a way to you. The last time you heard those words was when she scolded you and Malleus for disappearing to Lilia’s home.

Those words always made you nervous, especially since they usually meant something was wrong. You could only turn around and smile again.

“Right. I apologize for my assumption, Your Majesty,” you said carefully, instantly seeing Malleus turn to you with a look of curiosity.

Standing before Queen Maleficia, now in her study, you held your hands as Malleus stood near the high bookshelves. His grandmother stared out of her window briefly before taking a breath.

“Malleus.” Queen Maleficia began to speak, turning around to face you and Malleus somberly. “Your coronation is being planned, as you know, but something must be done before you can become king. You know what that is, correct?”

Malleus grew confused, but his eyes would widen slightly once he understood. “Marriage. What of it?”

As soon as Malleus answered, the woman would look towards you and smile lightly. “That’s correct. What do you plan to do about that?”

You stare at Malleus briefly before looking at Maleficia again, then smile softly. “I do want to marry the prince. That has not changed since we were children.”

Maleficia looked away from you, and then she made her way to stand in front of you. “That, my child, is what I can no longer allow. I am sorry.” 

Your eyes widened, and you saw Malleus perk up at the corner of your eye. He was shocked as well. “What…?” Is that the only thing you could say?

“What are you talking about?” Malleus sounded off. You couldn’t look at him. Your eyes would stay on the Queen before you, still in disbelief. 

“This is the best course of action. Forgive me, my child.”

“Queen M—No. Grandmother, what in the world are you referring to? Answer me!” Malleus began to demand, moving you back and getting ahead of Maleficia.

“Malleus, believe me, this was not easy.”

“I did not ask if it was easy. I did not ask if you’ve thought of this for weeks or months. I asked for an explanation, grandmother,” Malleus spoke sternly, going against Maleficia, which he had not done before. Maleficia was growing angry, but she remained calm regardless.

“I am doing this for you, for the kingdom of Briar Valley; to end a war before it could begin. You will do your duty as the future ruler of this kingdom.”

“You think the kingdom can decide who will be my partner in marriage for the rest of my life? You did that when I was a child! I went along with it and accepted it the first time as it was!” Malleus also grew angry at the way the events were unfolding. He had accepted everything without complaint, but he couldn’t keep his mouth shut this time. This isn’t what he wanted.

“Now, Queen Maleficia, you wish to choose someone new? Someone I haven’t known my entire life and someone I cannot trust?”

“You will understand that as the future king. You do not need them as your fiance, and that is final. You will be marrying someone from another kingdom to stop us from going to war.” Maleficia had grown strict, firm even. Anyone else wouldn’t dare argue, not even you. You could only stay quiet from the words you were hearing. Your heart began to feel heavy from guilt as if it were a burden.

“What good will that do!? I do not need someone to help me run my life or the kingdom that will be under my wing some time from now!”

“I did it for you! I do not wish to see you become like your parents! You are my only grandson, and I lost your mother to war and the son, your father, I never had just before that. I raised you! Lilia and I were the ones who kept you alive. So, as your grandmother, I want you to keep yourself safe. Do this for yourself.” Maleficia was like a pleading mother. She needed Malleus to understand.

It was all so confusing to you. Malleus was trying to fight, but was it for you or him? Was it for his freedom? Did he love you? No. That couldn’t be it. You had to do something before he would do something drastic. You had to stop him before he could argue more.

Silence. 

Your hand wrapped around his own. Malleus froze from the sudden touch. “It’s okay,” you began softly, putting on a smile before looking up at Malleus.

The touch reminded you of when you snuck into his study as a teenager. You felt stressed once due to your studies and responsibilities becoming a large pile, and Malleus would hold your hand to put you at ease. He helped you with your studies by tutoring and keeping you focused, but concentrating was still difficult with your distant lover just inches away from you during that time. 

That short-lived memory was enough to make you agree to this. You loved him, but it was confusing. He was distant, but sometimes not. You loved him, but it was time. 

“Hey, Malleus?”

“Hmm?”

“What would it be like if I was only your friend, but never your fiance?”

A young Malleus had to think about that, but only one answer came to his mind.

“I would’ve figured out how to become your fiance again.”

Back to the decision before you, you smiled more before looking at Maleficia and squeezing Malleus’ hand lightly.

“I understand, Queen Maleficia. I apologize for no longer meeting your expectations,” you said respectfully. Malleus stared down at you with wide eyes, his hand starting to squeeze yours while it was still in his grasp.

“Don’t say that. You don’t need to do that—”

You shook your head and looked at him, clenching your free hand around his arm to cling to him. “I… wanted to talk to you, anyway. I’d call you my fiance, but you always turned me down. You said you simply accepted the necessity of my obligation as your lover. Now that we have to say our goodbyes, it worked out fine, did it not? I won’t fuss about this decision, as I have no say in the kingdom’s political matters. So, I will simply wish you happiness and good fortune in your marriage, Prince Malleus.”

“What are you talking about? You don’t know a thing.” Malleus whispered and took both of your hands into his, trying to keep himself calm in the midst of all of the mess. “I only rejected you because I wanted to properly propose to you. Only at the right moment between us and—”

“Hey… you don’t have to say any of that. You don’t need to. This is your kingdom. I am simply someone who had to be your lover.” Those words hurt for you to say, and Malleus looked… scared for once. In the time that you’d ever known him, he was the only person you loved. Malleus couldn’t let go of your hand or look away from you. You would disappear, he felt. Hearing those words come out of your mouth was painful enough as is.

You could only give him a bitter smile and force him to let go. “It’s okay. You’ll be okay,” you whisper and bow to Maleficia, then to Malleus. “Thank you. If you’ll excuse me.”

You smile once more before swiftly leaving before anything else could happen. The longer you walked, the more your legs felt like jelly. You didn’t know where you were going, but you just wanted to leave. You wanted nothing more but to go back and take back your words. To fight for Malleus. Yet, you would never go against the crown. 

Malleus simply stood there in disbelief with his eyes glued to the door. Maleficia reached out to her grandson, but as soon as her hand landed on his shoulder, he slapped it off. He looked at his grandmother with a look of nothing. Agony. A heart-wrenching anguish clouded his mind and judgment once you had left the room. 

He didn’t want the touch of anyone else but you. How could he lose you so easily? His whole life, he had always gotten what he wanted. Yet, the one time he asked, begged, and pleaded for something in his life, it was stripped away right before his fingertips. Malleus’ body was on auto-pilot from the harsh reality. Then, he moved out of the study, but when he looked up, his body froze at the sight of you running out of the castle.

It was all his fault. He didn’t fight hard enough. Now, he had lost you. How could the Seven betray him so? He never thought that it would be so easy to leave him. To abandon the memories just because someone else requested it.

Once you felt the harsh wind and snow, your eyes began to water. Soon, your heavy breaths turned into heaving sobs. Before you knew it, you found yourself in the forest. How did you even get here? How far did your tired legs get you? What torture could you endure in this state? Then…

Every memory with Malleus started to flash through your head.

Every dance.

Every laugh.

Every touch.

Every look.

Everything. 

Your heaving sobs became screams of heartbreak. Agonized cries echoed throughout the quiet and dark forest of Briar Valley. You couldn’t feel the cold anymore. The cold didn’t matter when it felt like you left a piece of yourself in the castle. 

Malleus leaned against the wall from the window that he watched you disappear from, closing his eyes when he could hear your cries despite how far you actually were. He couldn’t do anything to fix it this time, not when you were convinced.

Meeting his new fiance was unbearable for Malleus, but he tolerated it. He never remembered any interaction he had with the woman he was supposed to marry now. The wedding was memorable for everyone but him, and you weren’t there. He knew you wouldn’t be there, but he would still smile to himself when he remembered things.

But then it wasn’t too long, maybe a couple of years, until the kingdom celebrated Malleus and his coronation. Everyone with royal status and Malleus' close friends were invited to the after-party celebration. You went alone and stood on the balcony outside, listening to everyone enjoy their festivities. You hadn’t heard about Malleus since you last stepped foot here. It felt like forever ago.

“I didn’t think you would show up. Not after what happened the last time.”

The familiar voice made you perk up and turn around, seeing his tall figure standing at the curtain’s frame. You stood at the stone barricade and smiled slightly at Malleus, bowing to him.

“I didn’t think you would seek my company, King Malleus.”

“That title sounds… weird coming from you,” he admitted, making you both laugh. You look at the horizon to watch the setting sun, going quiet along with him. You had to break the silence.

“So, how are you and your queen?” You asked, causing Malleus to look at you. 

“She is fine. She’s expecting, so she’s taking care of herself instead,” Malleus said, being careful with his words, but you wanted to hide behind your old, playful attitude.

“You were quite fast, weren’t you?” You responded with a laugh, but you could feel your heart breaking already.

“It’s been about two years since we last conversed. I don’t think that’s too fast,” Malleus spoke casually, but you would notice how he looked at you somberly, almost as if he didn’t like it as much as you did.

“I see. I wish the Queen and your child a safe and easy journey.” You said quietly, sounding a bit melancholic. You had to force those words out, and Malleus simply nodded to accept your wishes.

His look made you narrow your eyes towards the ground, not wanting to look at him as you knew it would only cause you more heartbreak.

“Malleus…” You called out quietly, sighing and leaning against the stone.

“Don’t say anything,” he whispered, looking out into the horizon just like you did moments ago.

After a few minutes of silence, the sun had finally set, turning the sky dark with the moon’s light shining down on you and Malleus.

“Thank you,” you broke the silence first amidst the faint clamor of festivities behind you, “for the chance to be with you for so long.”

Malleus looked at you,  then you looked at him in return. These looks turned into stares. Stares felt like time froze. It was you and him again, and you wouldn’t want it any other way.

You engraved the details of his face into your head, and he was doing the same for you. When he broke the silence, the bubble around you two still hadn’t popped. 

“You were a wonderful experience,” he said sincerely, giving you a smile.

You smiled back, but before you could respond, others called Malleus over. He tried to stay there, but he was forced away. He was only able to take one more look at you before he disappeared. He faded away like a light swallowed by a deep darkness, which was so strange. It was only a change. 

You still kept your smile after he left. Now, you could say what you wanted.

“You were… everything.”

[missmielyhoran]

Second

in which you always stayed being second...

[Warning- ANGST, Unrequited love, unplanned pregnancy, cheating?, jealousy, death, accident, Harry giving his kid daddy issues, accident, heart attack]

Masterlist

*****

You were 19 when you met Harry.

He was bright, beautiful, and soft like a cloud. He was always high up in the air, so beautiful to see but soo far to touch.

Everyone wished to touch the clouds, and only some could do it.

You met her when you were 20.

At a college party, Harry introduced her to you. She was beautiful, smart, and elegant just like him.

People like her were meant to touch the cloud.

And she did. Much to your dismay, you watched them flirt, kiss, and do all those adorable bullshit rom coms show. While you watched, waiting for a drop of his attention.

Which he gave you but after she would leave.

They got together when you were 21.

You cried yourself sick for a week, but no one bothered to check cause the two people you had were loved up in their love cocoon.

It wasn't until she had to go back home for some family emergency that Harry realized he hadn't seen you for a week. When he asked, you just put on a smile and told him it was a flu, which he knew wasn't true, somewhere he knew why you were sick but didn't press on cause she was texting him.

But the honeymoon period came to an end soon after, and it followed fights, lots of fights, and arguments.

Every time they would break up, you would find him at your doorstep. It was wrong, so wrong, but you couldn't resist when his lips would find yours. When his hands would roam on your body, when he would whisper sweetly in your ears, when you would hear his soft snors beside you in bed as you would run your fingers through his hair.

As good it would feel in the night, mornings were just as hard cause every time one of them would apologize and they would get back together.

What could a bouquet of flowers and apologizes couldn't fix?

The cycle went on and on until you also found someone.

He was sweet, not him but sweet.

And he was only yours.

But fate was never in your favor. He wanted to study abroad, and long distance was not in books for either of you.

You were 24 when she got into accident.

It was a drunk driving case. The driver got off with a fine while she fought for her life for a whole 48 hours before losing.

It was hard for both of you. You were jealous of her, but you also loved her. She was your friend, but nothing could compare to Harry's devastation.

You were 25 when he finally came to you.

"After her, you are my only one. You are the only person I love after her," He said. It should have made you happy and some part of you was but the other sticked to the key word after her.

Even dead, she was first.

But you settled for being his even if it was secondary.

You were 26 when you got pregnant.

It was accidental. Both of you didn't plan it cause you didn't even know what your relationship with him was. He loved you but he wasn't your boyfriend or anything.

You were scared for yourself, yet you went to him asking if he wanted it or not. Some part of you hoped he didn't cause you wouldn't, but of course, he wanted it. It was so long after her that you saw him genuinely happy.

You were 27 when your baby girl arrived.

She was beautiful, with his green big eyes and blonde hair which neither of knew where it came from but he said it was from her. "She knew I was lonely, so she said an angel like her"

He named your daughter after her.

Every time you would call your daughter, there was a painful realization of him loving you second, which might have been third or forth after the kids.

You were 29 when he proposed.

With her ring.

It was supposed to be for her, but it ended on your finger, and every time you looked down at your hands, there would be that pain again of you being the second.

Was it wrong to be jealous of dead?

Was it wrong to hate someone who never meant to cause you pain, but was the reason for it always?

You were 31 when you got pregnant again.

He was happy but not much cause he had your daughter.

You had your baby boy, but in Harry's books, your daughter stayed first.

As he grew up, you could see how much it affected your son. How he would hesitate to ask Harry for anything or how he would be jealous of his sister or how he would avoid either of you all together.

You wanted to talk to him, tell him that you were there for him and you to some extent you did but you couldn't take a dad's place.

He would see how Harry wouldn't bat and eye if your daughter would do something, but he would get the punishment for being simply late from school.

Now your son and you both came after her.

You were 49 when your son stopped talking to both of you after moving out.

It hurt it shattered your soul, but you didn't do anything.

Like a coward, you were for the whole life. You just sat here mute and stayed second whole life, getting secondary gifts, kisses, love, and even wedding ring.

You could never be his first, and you lived with that.

You were 62 when you died.

It was abrupt, a heart attack paramedics said.

He begged you not to leave him, how he couldn't live if you also left him after her but it was too late.

He would get flowers every Wednesday and Saturday to the graveyard for you but not before leaving one on her.

Even cold in your grave, you were second to her.

*****

Taglist- @tenaciousperfectionunknown @that-daydream-look @harryspirate @tiaamberxx @jvsgnjrtpdar5stkd-tv-m @sunshinemoonsposts

I'm sorry for this, I'm just really sad today:(

[popmybrains]

Soft Lies [ Astarion x She/Her Reader ]

Pairing: Astarion x She/Her Pronoun Reader

A/N: This is meant to take place pre-events of the game so the reader is not intended to be Tav but can be if you so wish. This was also posted on A03 under my account so if you see this there that was also me. This is just a little short story I felt like writing nothing exciting lol.

Warnings: Angst

Summary:

“I’ve been doing some thinking,” he finally said, his voice steady but tinged with an unmistakable sadness. “And I’ve come to a decision.”

Her heart skipped a beat. The words were not what she had expected. “A decision?”

Astarion nodded, his eyes fixed on the ground. “I don’t love you.”

The sun dipped below the horizon, casting long shadows across the secluded glade. Its where Astarion had arranged to meet her just before the sunsets. She had expected a pleasant evening, a moment of intimacy with the vampire who had captured her heart. Together they had spent weeks, laughing and sharing stories. She had even dared to share her blossoming dreams of a life together, unaware of the shadow that would cast over his face.

It was then he started pulling away from her. She didn’t notice at first, not until he gently pulled his hand away from her touch the other day. How tense he would become during the times she would embrace him. It’s why she was so eager for this little rendezvous of his, excited he wanted to spend some time with her.

Running down the path that lead from her small town, she stopped at the edge of the forest slightly heaving from the run after her chores. Astarion appeared from the trees, stopping along the edge still in the shade the leaves provided - his demeanor unusually somber. He looked every bit the charming rogue she had come to adore, but his eyes betrayed a hint of sadness and uncertainty. As he drew closer, she noticed the tension in his shoulders, a tightness in his expression.

Breathing through his nose he began, his voice quieter than usual, “We need to talk.”

She smiled, hoping to ease the heaviness in the air. “Of course, Astarion. What’s on your mind?”

He hesitated, his gaze flitting about the tranquil glade as if searching for words that eluded him. “I’ve been doing some thinking,” he finally said, his voice steady but tinged with an unmistakable sadness. “And I’ve come to a decision.”

Her heart skipped a beat. The words were not what she had expected. “A decision?”

Astarion nodded, his eyes fixed on the ground. “I don’t love you.”

She felt as if the world had shattered around her. The words hung in the air, heavy and impossible to ignore. “What are you saying, Astarion? After everything we’ve planned, after we even… you’re telling me you don’t love me?” Her voice trembled, this wasn’t how she expected the evening to go. 

He swallowed hard, a pained expression crossing his face. “It’s true. I don’t love you, and I can’t.”

Tears welled up in her eyes, and her voice trembled as she spoke. “But why? Why would you say that? I thought we meant- that I meant more to you, gods sake I even let you feed off me...”

Astarion reached his handout to touch her cheek only the flesh of his arm being touch by the ever fading sunlight. His fingers brushing against her skin before he quickly withdrew his hand. “You don’t… I was just, using you. And it’s is for your own good, if this ends now.”

Fury surged within her, a tempest of emotions threatening to consume her. “You can’t just end things like this, Astarion! You owe me a better explanation than you don’t love me!”

He stepped back, his eyes filled with sorrow. “I’m sorry… It’s over.”

With that, he turned and walked away, her alone in the glade, her heart shattered into a million pieces. She watched him go, unable to comprehend the abrupt and inexplicable end to their relationship. The silence of the meadow was broken only by her anguished sobs.

Astarion didn’t look back, didn’t see the tears streaming down her face. He had done what he believed was necessary to protect her from the lurking danger of Cazador, but it had come at a heavy cost. As he retreated into the darkness, his tears fell freely, his heart aching with the knowledge that he had pushed away the one person he cared for the most.