#another client tells me her nephew died. he was younger than me. his baby will be born this autumn. a relationship ended before it began.
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I've been getting lost in my own head so much lately
#been thinking a lot about endings#how sudden they are. how rarely you get a warning for them#a client tells me about the last trip they took with their wife before she passed. the ending isn't the point. just a byproduct of time.#but I lose focus on what they're saying. I fixate on the idea of the Last thing. they didn't know it would be the last trip. it just was.#would they have done anything differently had they known? undoubtedly. but it's too late for that now.#another client tells me her nephew died. he was younger than me. his baby will be born this autumn. a relationship ended before it began.#he was so excited to read to her. but he's gone and nothing can change that.#so many things can happen in an instant. you experience endings every day whether you realize it or not.#not every ending is a death tho.#relationships splinter and fracture until eventually they're over. everything has an expiration date.#how do you even begin to cope with it all#I know it's poison to begin a relationship of any sort with the mindset that your time together is limited#but it is.#idk. I'm just really really tired. none of this grief truly belongs to me. but I feel it nonetheless.
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